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ikkan · 1 year

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might try to look for a therapist again…it’s just…the co-pays are just a lot if it’s weekly.

#.txt #i know i mentioned i had one #but idk if i ever mentioned what happened?#i never went because they randomly changed the therapist i was going to have #and changed the time/date without telling me #plus it was online only #which i don’t want people listening in

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wilimia · 1 year

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I've been pretty sick this week but I started reading the Twilight Princess manga so have a page redraw. (Page is from ch.28 btw)

#ignore the big empty space at the bottom right #drawing comics on paper is hard #plus im sick so you cant be mean #art block is oh so prevalent #ive read a bit of the manga before #only like 11 chapters #cuz thats the only ones i could find online #but i bought physical copies now #so yeah #wilimia art #doodle #the legend of zelda #tloz #Twilight Princess #loz tp #loz #midna #midlink

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soracities · 6 months

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Hi, do you or any of your followers have any recs for audiobooks? Preferably that are free, I just would like to listen to something while knitting but not sure how to start exploring since I don't know who are good narrators or things like that. Thanks so much!!

i don't listen to audiobooks unfortunately but any audiobook devotees please please send in your recs for anon, thank you 💗

#ask #Anonymous #i've only listened once through my librarys app and really enjoyed that so if your library has an online catalogue you can borrow from like #overdrive or borrowbox that may be worth checking out since the audiobooks there will be official ones and (i assume) v engaging. plus its #free AND you'll be supporting your local library by using its service <3 #otherwise anyone and everyone with recs please don't hesitate to add them in thank you

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bellamyblakru · 2 months

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i will never understand how some people can actively shit on something they know someone loves and finds joy in right in front of them. how can you hate something that makes someone else happy in this absolutely fucked world in front of them.

its the passive aggression for no reason i will never ever understand or do to others. if you have a passion, fucking LIVE it. if nothing else, passion gets us through every shitty day, and i will always support it.

have passion in spite of those who hate.

#its absolutely mind boggling to me #and genuinely makes me so fucjinf upset #i was sitting next to my sister who has been nicer to me than usual as she is talking to her online friend and im doing my nails silently b #its her polish and i didnt wanna take it out of her room. but i look up and shes ranking music genres which is all cool. but without #hesitation as the first one at the most bottom tier she put kpop. like i understand its not her cup of tea but i was like okay thats #something that actively makes me wanna keep living yaknow. and she knows that. so i was like #‘interesting placement for kpop’ and she didnt say anything so i said ‘im not sure youve listened to it enough to have such a violent #opinion on it’ and she immediately got angry saying shes ‘heard enough’ and then got mad at me for saying that saying why was i being ‘like #this what the fuck’ and my heart genuinely sunk into my ass but i couldnt leave even though i felt like crying bc i only did one hand and i #was drying at that moment plus i didn’t wanna make it a big deal. but this is not the first time she’s actively hated on my music without #prompt from me and it just makes me ????? like. music taste differs with everyone i understand this and i respect it. if something brings u #happiness then i would love to hear and listen even if i wouldn’t choose it myself. but being a bitch about it. idk #ultimately its the fact of being mean for no reason over someone else’s passion makes u a fucking asshole #:)))) im not crying bye #ashley rambles #to delete later #my mom and brother do it too btw. hating on it and making sure i hear it.#my mom was doing it the other day and my 7 year old nephew kept saying ‘pook i love it. i think its cool’ and it made me cry because kids #have the capacity for such unaltered kindness as the world has yet been cruel to them #idk man

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goldensunset · 3 months

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‘there are easier ways to get the sheet music you want’ no there aren’t

#‘print out blank sheets’ our printer is evil #’use musescore or whatever’ ok but i already know how to use drawing apps and i don’t feel like learning how to use a new thing #i’m bad and slow at this anyway so like. only one poison at a time #plus then i can easily rearrange sections or remove them without actually deleting them just by playing with layers #’look for a pre-existing arrangement online’ well you see they don’t make those for people with no friends and who suck at piano #if i want something that’s two-hands friendly (and two clumsy hands at that) i gotta do it myself #peach rambles #i can read music but i’m very rusty when it comes to a lot of the notations or how to actually write it

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tapsoda · 2 months

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Lord above todays shot hurt like a mf….!

#I used to be soooo good at giving it to myself but after the dosage wentup it’s hard bc there is so much oil injected that it just gushes #even when I let the needle sit😢 I can only imagine what .5 is gonna leak HELP!#plus I’m allergic to it so like.. my skin is getting tougher to pierce from the reactions #but I do not have money or the strength for gel again🙌#blobbils #me every Thursday logging online to say my shot hurts: you won’t believe it

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inkbagel · 1 month

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This collab I joined like eight months ago that I didn’t really enjoy being in finally got posted today but for some reason only on twitter and I don’t go there so I can’t even see the whole thing :/

#I had. so many quarrels with it.#first of all instead of staying in mutual groups like it was supposed to the collab somehow blew up and got eighty people participating #and THEN you’d think since so many people were there everyone would have like one part right? like what we originally agreed to do with #seven people?#WRONG!!!! I got three parts plus a background without getting consulted about it #and then when I tried to make friends in the discord with all the other artists #at least seven people online at the time were raging mysoginists #telling me no women in this series can be anything except perfect dainty little princesses #except for one woman who was allowed to do a little evil bc she was associated with a MAN #who ACTUALLY wouldn’t be evil #and when I said that’s not accurate to the actual story everyone started crying and saying I offended them #bc ‘they thought really hard about this!!’ stfu you piece of shit #and then everyone in the discord sexualised the fuck out of my fave character who. also happened to be the one I was drawing.#so I got too grossed out to finish my part and ignored the disc for several months #and the host never thought once to tag everyone for check in until a week before the deadline #so I dropped all but one of my parts (the one I had mostly finished when I got grossed out)#and finished that and didn’t touch the disc again for the sake of my own mental health #but it finally got posted and I can’t even see it I only have my groups picture #but whatever. I didn’t like anyone there anyway at least I can leave the disc without feeling guilty now #inkbagel speaks

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armenelols · 24 days

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By the way. Buying jeans in stores is impossible if you are shorter than average and they are gonna drag behind you like a veil. Have fun tripping on them (It's me. I am short)

#brought to you by me buying jeans today #they are said to be ankle length #spoiler: NOT ON ME #they go midway to my heel #if i tuck them in slightly they are great #but the point is #i am 158/159 cm #in feet i think that's either 5'2 or 5'3 #THERE ARE PLENTY PEOPLE SHORTER THAN ME #if i can't buy jeans because they are long enough to cover my entire foot and a few cm of floor as well #what the fuck are people even shorter than me buying #a year ago i bought these loose summer pants that were said to be in length somewhere under the knee #THEY GO TO MY ANKLES (they are great pants btw. the only pair of loose pants i own because all the other ones in stores are too f long)#i know getting clothes tailored is an option #but i am really not gonna do that with everything i am buying?#especially jeans #since i never know how long they are gonna last #my thighs are thicker and touch each other so they have a tendency to tear in between my legs #sometimes they last years (current record 5 years)#and sometimes they last 3 months #i never know until i wear them more often #and i am not gonna get my clothes tailored every 3 months #i am on the skinny side so idk what the plus-size clothes situation is like but according to all evidence: absolutely horrible #anyway #brought to you by me bcs i dont shop online often and prefer stores so i can try things on first without having to return them after buying #also reminder that i DID buy nice jeans today. its just that i hardly ever find some #ohv and obv tall people also have it bad™ i am sorry for your naked ankles in winter weather #ema rambles #possibly to delete

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send-up-my-heart-to-you · 1 month

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hey, no offence, i don’t want to sound rude but don’t you think it’s a bit unsafe to be sharing your location and your whereabouts so openly? i’m actually talking out of concern not hating.

thats true but i’m js showing the general area (that’s not the distance from where i live, it’s the distance where i was at the time) since i’m so close to a place important in one of my favorite book series ykwim?

and i zoomed in enough on the bridge so you couldnt even see which side i’m on lol

plus i make sure to not even like. specify where exactly i’m from (just that i’m a gulf arab—and trust me, theres currently hundreds of gulf arabs in london) or my real name or any details about me personally other than my age gender and ethnicity / religion

and i’m leaving london tmr anyways sooo it wouldnt matter even if someone figured out my location (which is very unlikely in the first place)

#my dad works in cybersecurity so dw abt me being careful #i was raised to give basically no identifiable information out online #the most i’d ever give is the city i live in (only to ppl who ik for sure are close by)#plus london is a densely populated city as is sooooo there’s no way to really identify me #but i appreciate the concern nonetheless #ty anon <333

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meraki-yao · 10 months

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Suddenly have a need to see Henry in a tiara

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #nicholas galitzine #henry hanover stuart fox #henry fox mountchristen windsor #can't explain it #and no it's not a kinky thing #idk i just wanna see it?#i don't think I've ever seen a guy wear a tiara properly? only crowns and coronets #but Henry/Nick is just so babygirl wonder what that would look like #plus been browsing the uk royal tiara collection online purely for interest #honestly i feel like Henry is the RWRB universe's version of Princess Diana #anyways yeah #if someone out there can photoshop it please tag me #maybe I'll try to draw it when my break starts? idk #rwrb rambles

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that-gay-guy-from-hell · 3 months

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For some reason my brain is stuck on a "Zero_One x Rust" kick right now and I can't get them out of my head.

Had this in my WIPs folder for a very long titime. Zero was done but Rust has half finished... I then re-drew Rust and about 50% of Zero lol. Just something about Rust’s helmet makes me struggle so hard-- I mean, it's not like Doc's top hat where I can just skip it... Rust kinda needs his helmet lol.

Here's the OG photo and Rust’s shirt (100% forgot to post them alongside the drawing in the Discord server 💀 Don't tell anyone lmfao)

Also have some gay live action Rust x Zero for your time-- got these from Twitter:

God Doc is the back makes me die every time. He looks like a sad old man-- reminds me of this:

Like it's so fucking funny.

TLT MASTERLIST

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shopwitchvamp · 6 months

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Joggers available for preorder now ♥️

Preorders end tonight, 3/26, at 11:59pm CT!

🖤witchvamp.com🖤

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bunnihearted · 2 months

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ཻ۪۪♡.

#i want to learn how to vent healthily #bc i have this incessant pathological need to like share every thought i have #and if i dont i get this restless uneasy feeling in my chest and i get restless and worried and like wtf?#whats wrong w me? maybe it has smth to do w that during my entire life i have never been listened to or been helped #like during my life i've asked for help repeatedly but when i have i've only been dismissed or not believed etc etc #so maybe that translated into my head to just feel the need to share it in a public space.....#bc i used to write rverything in a diary but i filled them too quickly and i cant afford the money or space to do that #so i started using twitter and now tumblr... but that has only resulted in me like feeding into it?#it's not healthy to feel the need to share EVERY thought or else u feel crazy. i also shouldnt focus or dwell on thoughts sm #i do have issues bc of my disorders and anxiety. plus avpd in swedish is literally called 'anxious personality disorder' 💀#so it is in me to be anxious and worried and neurotic #but still i want to learn how to not be fixated on thoughts and feelings (also a challenge bc bpd makes feelings feel all consuming)#if i think smth - that also can be totally untrue and only based on my worries -#i can just think it and let it go. idk have to dwell on it and obsess over it. (im trying mindfulness for years lol)#bc most of my venting is like me getting stuck in feelings and idk why i feel the need to express it constantly?#it isnt worth it. bc actually it has caused rifts and missunderstandings in multiple connections i've had online...#i do feel like venting isnt smth bad.. and i think emotions are PERSONAL and like completely unrelated to truth and other ppl #but i get it.. esp when u only know eo online and dont know everything going on in eo's heads #then u only get that as a full image when it isnt the whole picture #so like idk. i WANT to be able to get a healthier outlook on it.. bc this isnt working #both bc of myself and for myself but also in relation to others #and like. why do i like never see anyone else on thmblr/twitter that post EVERY thought like me???? (i dont think its wrong to do bc *i*#have a different pov on it and idc abt other ppl's vents but .. yeah idk why do i do this but no one else does it at the level i do?#so idk i've just been thinking of this lately bc yeah.. yeah i just dont know i dont know.... :///#i actually want to be able to not ruminate and get stuck in it but idk how to break free?#plus expressing positive emotions & thoughts is terrifying to me like idk why but i cant????#why??? i feel like im undeserving of good things that i cant even express smth nice bc im like .. i dont deserve to think/feel that??

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phantomrose96 · 2 years

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So I know this isn't anything that like actually needs an apology but it'll make me feel a bit better to say it. Oof whoops this ABoT chapter is super late. Timing kinda sucks since I wanted to have some updates out while s3 was airing but

Been kinda mega busy and stressed since October with the whole condo buying thing which rolled right into immediate day 0 plumbing and boiler issues I had to get fixed and general moving hassle and financial commitment stress and I kinda just fried myself hard. Plus then acclimating to a new place without my familiar street or familiar grocery store or familiar room or any of that. Like there's no "just go home and take your mind off it" to this cuz home is the "it". So I'm just kinda enduring until I can calm the hell down.

And anyway I definitely have progress on ch47, like 7000-ish words of it, but it's the kind of like "there is writing there" and hasn't exactly hit the "there is substance there" that I want ABoT chapters to be. Like this in particular is a chapter I want to be good, not just be done. So it's taking time to get my brain somewhere that can do that.

#anyway #i mean just in case anyone was like wondering if its discontinued to anything #its still going i just can't make it Good quite yet #(plus i need to get furniture cuz as it stands the place is really quite empty and bare except for like my room and the kitchen)#(also the bank had my address wrong so they havent been able to send me any of the mortgage information which was technically due already)#(ive been in contact with them but it's a whole thing)#(plus im still not quite finished with all the utility switching. i still need to get water in my name)#(and the boiler issue fucked up my gas bill so now ive got a crazy high gas bill i just need to... pay)#(i have actually started seeing a therapist but thats a whole other Thing now figuring out insurance and deductables and using my HSA #account and just... it's a lot)#(oh also my homeowner's insurance policy number doesn't actually work for getting me into the online portal. and the geico guy said he was #looking into it but I havent heard anything in a while)#(its a lot im just gonna melt for a while i guess)#(plus all the upfront stress has made it really hard to associate the new place as 'home' instead of 'place of great many plumbing evils')#(i sat on like 4 million couches this week and the only one i really really like probably doesn't quite fit in my living room)#(the downstairs neighbors tv is too loud and i need to talk to her about it in a way which isn't 'hey im holding on by a thread and this #one small inconvenience is the thing which is making me turn into ash')#(oh thats right i have to go pay my january HOA dues...)#(oh also I need to file for the owner-occupied tax exemption thing now that its 2023)#anyway......... ill be normal eventually. im just not normal right now.#chrissy speaks

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underthehedge · 2 months

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This morning has been disappointing. I've finally got the money to stock my fish tank that's been sitting, cycled, but devoid of fish for the last 18 months, last week I got some cardinal tetras to go in it because I'm doing an upper Negro biotope type thing. They seem to be doing well, and though cardinals aren't my favourite fish, they've brought my a lot of joy.

But they were really just a prelude to the main event: ordered 11 days ago but arriving this morning was a pair of Apistogramma gephyra, perfect for the system I'm trying to replicate, gorgeous and small. I have been chewing the walls for the last week waiting for them to arrive, even though I knew it was going to be today. Just look at this photo from the seller's website!

Opened the box, pulled out the first bag ready to stare lovingly at my new fish and...why are their tails like that? I mean, apistos famously change colour a lot but the tail is square, and orange-red.

Shite pic I know but it is what it is.

They've sent me a pair of A. macmasteri "red" by accident. A fine fish I'm sure, clearly a lot of people like them, and they're the same price so it's not like the sellers are trying to rip me off. Tbh they're by far a more popular fish than gephyra.

Unfortunately I personally don't care for macmasteri, but beyond that they're from the Rio Meta, a whitewater river, while my tank is distinctly blackwater (conductivity of "lol no", pH somewhere south of 5.0, it's basically just slightly grubby RO). And apistos are noted to be territorial with not just their own species, but others in the genus so I can't just get some gephyra too now without having to send those back, which...shipping fish is a pain and not one I'm set up for. I'll see what the seller says but suffice to say I'm disappointed, went from giddy with excitement to dejected in seconds.

#fishblr #blackwater aquarium #apistogramma #apistogramma macmasteri #apistogramma gephyra #fish #honestly I've only had good experiences with fish online before #and this is an easy enough mistake to make I'm sure #the sellers have generally fantastic feedback #just someone's cocked up and packed the wrong fish it's not even a mis-ID because they sell macmasteri too #and viejita which I guess these could be but I'm pretty sure these are macmasteri #just goddamnit I don't *like* macmasteri in the first place #and they're not suitable for my tank either as a biotope or just the conditions tbh #plus like the closest aquatics store where I got the cardinals actually sells macmasteri #for like a third the price and it's £4 in busses rather than £20 in overnight couriers #if I wanted macmasteri I could have gone and bought a pair and had them within the hour #anyway they're chilling in my tank currently while I wait on the seller getting back to me and I'll not slight the quality of the fish #they've already been eating and the male keeps displaying for the female #concerned they're going to spawn before I get this sorted 😂#but if they just send me replacements I'm sure the local shop will take the fish I've got

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eternal-reverie · 5 months

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got the posting anxiety bad tonight

#click clack #ok a peak into my thought process and anxiety here we go #ok so the art is almost done and up to standard I would post onto my art blog #BUT for some reason the thought of posting art of my ocs there scares me #because even tho it’s my art blog in my mind it’s the equivalent to a art gallery that demands being detached????? from the art #like once I share it there it’s no longer ‘mine’ but to the public #and my ocs (plus the stories that go with them) are like the closest to my heart and relinquishing them feels like a lot #a part of my imagination that I spent so much time with developing over the years to be placed up for judgement…#so then the solution could be to put it here on my personal! the online space cozy enough and filled with other posts that could easily bury #the original posts I put here #but there goes my other dilemma. i don’t want them too associated with my personal for if one day i do muster up something for publication #my big fear is that ppl will find this space and go thru everything. the fear of being perceived and judged 😵‍💫#all the hypotheticals and anxiety for something that may not even happen #dumb mind problems my head made up 🙄#anyway writing it out helped lol I’m posting it to my art blog I decided 👍#I have to work on getting that blog to be comfortable space to post… i should lower that silly self imposed standard I set for myself #and be whatever about ppl being aware of my online presences #maybe… [grinding my teeth] I should post my messy sketches onto my art blog…#I should take my friends suggestion and make a website to feature my ocs…🤔#idk my only other solution that doesn’t feel viable to mitigate the anxiety is to slowly introduce my ocs in the background of setting art #just a slow drip until they are in the forefront #bleghhh whatever much ado about nothing it’s like I never posted my ocs ever when I have indeed posted them before on both places ( º＿º )#I’m realizing it happens too when I post too much fanart in a row… I have curator disease??? 🫨#or something I used to be very particular about what order I reblog stuff like it used to be by color and content balanced out #I still do to a lesser degree… but it used to be pretty bad #post order compulsion????#the fear of being abrupt and incohesive in between posts…#if you read this far thanks you can now see how much this consumes me 🙃

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