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hotchs-big-hands · 12 days

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The Slaughterhouse

Part 1|Part 2|Part 3|Part 4

Aaron Hotchner x plus-size fem!reader

8.1k words

Minors dni please

Warning(s): VERY DARK, injury detail, medical descriptions, hospitals, gore, injury, blood, extreme angst, sort-of enemies to lovers, flashbacks, reader and Aaron be going THROUGH IT

Please heed the warnings, although the worst of it is over it's still a heavy series.

An escalating string of gruesomely murdered fat women begin to stack up with no end in sight. What started as an unfortunate routine case for the BAU team, takes a disturbing turn as you become entangled in the unsub's web, danger approaching closer and closer. It's only a matter of time before it's too late to bring the madness to an end.

BESTIES I'M FINALLY BACK WITH THIS SERIES OMG IT'S BEEN TOO LONG. I really hope people enjoy, there's still one more part after this which I hope to work on soon!!! Thank you for sticking by me!

Another hour passed by. Another wave of agony tore through Aaron Hotchner. It was like limbo. Everything was still, unable to move and continue on. It was only the intense pain in his chest that reminded him he was actually alive, but his very soul- his heart- was torn away the moment those ambulance doors closed behind you. He barely remembered much after that, although he was wearing different clothes now. A navy tee shirt under a zip-up black hoodie. Some sweatpants. Even his shoes were not his original ones. What he wore before was gone, the fibres so entwined with your blood they were completely unsalvageable.

All he could do was stare at the floor, head hanging low as he propped his arms up on his knees. Sometimes the spotted linoleum floor would blur into a haze of grey and tears would drop onto his clasped together hands. He'd stopped screaming hours ago, whenever that was. And now he could feel how raw his throat was whenever he swallowed, which caused him to press his lips together tightly to prevent a sob from bubbling over. A part of him knew he wasn't alone in the waiting room, but at this point he really didn't care. He said nothing whenever anyone else in the room tried to talk to him, ask him if he needed anything, to just say something. What was the point? You weren't there.

There was a sigh.

“Aaron, you need to drink something. You'll become dehydrated like this.” He heard Rossi’s voice, but he didn't respond. “(Y/n) wouldn't want you to close yourself off like this and not take care of yourself.”

This time, Aaron sat bolt upright and sneered.

“Don't speak on behalf of her. You have no idea what she would have wanted.” He snapped, glaring at the older man. It was rare for Rossi to lose his calm and carefree self, but now he was staring the unit chief down, nostrils flaring and his hands curling into tight fists.

“Actually, I do know. Do you seriously think she doesn't care about your wellbeing, huh? You think she wants you to torture yourself, to shut down and give up? Come on, you know deep down that's not the case at all.” His voice was sharp, cutting through the haze that had shrouded Aaron.

No one in the room moved, staring at the altercation between the two oldest members of the team with bated breaths.

Aaron couldn't speak, opening his mouth and closing it over and over. Why should he be kind to himself? He got you into this mess, he made the decision to close himself off from you in an attempt to put a stop to the blooming feelings he’d immediately developed for you when you first walked through the doors for your interview. He couldn't have you, Strauss would have his head triumphantly or, far worse, she would terminate you and force you to leave the BAU in shame. He was damned from the start, and by trying to keep you from being damned too he had pushed you straight into the grasp of a monster. He gritted his teeth as fresh tears pooled in his deep, brown eyes and his shoulders slumped defeatedly.

There was a knock at the door.

Before anyone could say or do anything, Aaron shot up and strided across the room to pull the door open. An unfamiliar medical practitioner stood in the doorway patiently, not even phased by the rapidness of the door swinging open. They cleared their throat.

“May I come in? I want to discuss Miss (L/n)’s condition with you all.”

Aaron moved to the side wordlessly, allowing them to walk in and he closed the door quietly. He tucked his right arm under the other whilst his left hand curled into a soft fist, running his thumb over the second knuckle of each of the fingers.

Everyone waited. The doctor shoved their hands into their pockets and their eyes flicked from one face to the next.

“To put your minds at ease, she's alive and stable.” They began. Alive? You were alive?? Aaron’s chest heaved with relief. “However, she lost a considerable amount of blood from the injury and while we were stitching the different layers back together. We are giving her a transfusion, and while we did manage to resuscitate her as quickly as we could each time she coded, we will have to wait until she is brought back around from the induced coma she's in to see if there's any lasting neurological issues.”

“Can we see her?” Spencer croaked, eyes glassy as he studied doctor. They smiled apologetically.

“For now it would be best if there's only one visitor, just in case.”

All eyes were on Aaron then, and he swallowed.

“I don't..”

“Go. You need to go to her.” Emily said softly. There was a mutual sound of agreement and it made his face scrunch up a little as a few tears rolled down his face. With a choked out ‘thank you’, Aaron followed the doctor out of the waiting room and down the corridor. They stopped at a private recovery room, the last coherent thing he had demanded for you to have, and he drew in a shaky breath.

“Here we are. I'll give you some privacy.” He heard the doctor say and he shakily reached for the door handle, turned it and pushed it open.

“Oh…” his voice cracked and he stepped into the room, closing the door behind him and shutting out the chaos of the outside world.

Laying still looking ashen on the crisp white bed sheets, was you. You were connected to several machines, at least one of them beeping periodically and accompanying the only other sign you were alive; the soft rise and fall of your diaphragm. You looked so frail, so easily shattered by the smallest touch. As he tentatively stepped closer he spotted your injured thigh sticking out from under the sheet with a large dressing covering it. He swallowed back a sob and stopped at your bedside. He didn't know what to say. And so he reached down and took hold of your hand, the one without an intravenous line in it, and cradled it in his own. The tips of your fingers were a little cold.

“God… I'm so, so sorry, sweetheart. I-” Aaron whimpered when he felt tears dribble down his chin and drip onto his hoodie. “This is all my fault.”

He wanted you to open your eyes, much like people always did in movies and TV shows, to reassure him that it was okay; you were okay. But he was met with the beeps of the monitoring machines helping you to breathe in your coma. He fucking hated this.

Carefully, he grazed his thumb over the back of your hand and gazed at your peaceful face. He would never forget the look on your face back in that wretched slaughterhouse. The fear, the absolute agony… He began to cry again.

“I-I-, fuck! I do like you, okay? I know I've done the worst job at showing this. No, I did it intentionally. I-” he scrunched his eyes shut and he breathed shakily. “I have feelings for you, feelings I shouldn't have as your boss and yet I have always had them. I thought I was…. I thought if I kept you at a distance it would save you from getting into trouble with Strauss.” He said softly.

As gently as he could, Aaron lifted your hand up, meeting it half way by bending down, and pressed a soft kiss to the back of it.

“I'll make this right, okay? I need you to rest and recover, sweetheart. And then I'm going to do whatever I can to make it up to you.”

For a while he stood beside you, admiring your beauty. Even in the fragile state you were in, you were beautiful. He'd always known and thought you were beautiful.

And then the moment he dreaded came to be when he heard a knock on the door behind him. His lower lip wobbled and he squeezed your hand a little, desperately.

“Mr Hotchner? I'm very sorry, but visiting hours across the hospital just ended.” It was a different voice this time, a feminine voice. He didn't pull his eyes away from your unconscious form.

“I want to stay. Please.”

“I-”

He finally turned his head to the doorway and he sniffled sharply.

“Please, I need to- I can't leave her.”

He didn't care if the nurse pitied him, nothing mattered except staying with you now.

She nodded slightly.

“Alright, I'll ask someone to bring a cot in for you.” She said and closed the door behind her as she left. Aaron turned back to you and pressed another kiss to the back of your hand, but this time his mouth lingered for a little longer.

At first there were shadows. Simultaneously the blur was both burningly bright and too dull to make out refined shapes. Then came the sound. It was garbled, an indecipherable mess until one sound cut through the rest.

A beep. A constant, irritating beep. It grew faster when frustration swelled through this place of limbo, only to fade into the void when unconsciousness cloaked everything once more.

It was a continuous dance between mild awareness and nothingness, feeling infinite and tiring and confusing. There was no such thing as time. It didn't exist in this place.

Then finally, finally everything began to slide into place, piece by piece.

And yet, that fucking beeping would not stop.

Your eyelids slightly scrunched tightly; the beep, the light that was now trying to force it's way through the cracks hurt your brain. Angered you. You wanted to yell.

A hiss escaped you, a low noise that coiled warm air back over your face. What the fuck..?

“Oh my god.” Someone spoke. Someone was there. You wanted to reach out to them, to tell them to switch off whatever was beeping incessantly at you. But your body felt like stone, too sluggish to move.

Now, you realised something was on your face. Constricting your mouth and nose. You tried to reach up and push off whatever it was but all you could manage was a twitch of your finger. Slowly though, your sense of awareness returned to you and mustering all your strength you finally began to open your eyes.

The world was blindingly bright. It burned and you snapped your eyes shut again.

“....hh…” you breathed against the restriction on your face; you needed it off as soon as possible.

“She’s doing her best, just give her a moment.”

You forced your eyes to stay open this time, finding the world to be a blur of colours melting together.

“C… s….”

A blur of dark colours filled her vision, blocking the overhead light from hurting so much.

“What was that? Try saying it again.” Definitely a familiar woman's voice. You blinked a few times to try clearing your vision but it didn't work.

“Can't see… blurry….”

The blur moved slightly.

“Oh, has anyone got some tissues? Her eyes are full of gunk.”

There was movement in your peripheral and then something soft pressed lightly down on your eyelids.

“I'm going to clean your eyes, okay? Just try to stay relaxed.” The voice said. The tissue felt ticklish on your skin and your face twitched whenever it brushed over a particularly sensitive area. Eventually, you were able to make out proper shapes, albeit still slightly blurry but enough to tell what it or who it was.

“E-Emily?” You rasped, throat as raw as sandpaper. It made you cough, only adding to the pain.

“Easy now, your throat is gonna be sore.” Your dear, dark haired friend Emily murmured. “You want some water?”

You nodded slightly, but it was enough for her to understand. She turned her head to address someone else in the room, and you struggled to see who else was there.

“You lift the mask, I'll bring the straw to her mouth.” Her eyes flicked back to you and she smiled gently.

“JJ’s gonna lift the mask up now, okay? Just hold still.”

On your other side JJ approached and beamed down at you, her eyes shining with tears.

“Hey.” She managed to choke out at the same time as her fingers carefully pried the mask off your face. Ah, so it was an oxygen mask then.

Emily pressed the straw to your lips and you accepted it gratefully, slowly sipping mouthfuls of the cool water. God, in that moment it was the most delicious and refreshing thing you'd ever had. You could only have a bit at a time, too big of a gulp hurt your throat, but the smaller sips were manageable. With the added hydration to your body you were able to clear your throat enough to speak a bit better.

“P-please help me sit up…” you whispered.

Emily smoothed her hand over your forehead comfortingly as her smile turned more apologetic.

“Sorry, (Y/n). Gotta wait for the medical staff. Morgan and Reid went to go fetch them.”

You nodded in understanding and closed your eyes for a moment.

“Wh…where's…”

“Ah! Miss (L/n)! It's so nice to see you awake.” A clear, cheery voice said. Your eyes opened again and you were met with the sight of an older woman, most likely in her late forties dressed in a nurse’s uniform standing at the foot of your bed. “My name is Kelly! How are you feeling?”

“Like shit.” Emily choked, bug-eyed along with JJ and you could have sworn you heard Derek chuckle nearby. You winced a little. “Sorry, that was rude.”

Luckily, Kelly laughed lightly and shook her head.

“No you're fine, sounds about right. Do you know where you are, Miss (L/n)?”

Your brows furrowed slightly as you tried to recall anything from before.

“I know I’m in a hospital, but that’s all.”

The nurse nodded and came over to you to take your vitals. Emily and JJ stepped back out of the way but they kept their eyes on you, the other members of the team, minus one came to stand nearby.

“Are you in any pain?” Kelly asked you as she pulled the blood pressure monitor over to your bedside and carefully applied the cuff around your upper arm, then pressed the button to start the cycle off. You sighed.

“I…I don’t think so.”

“You don’t think so?” She raised her brow at you. Whilst she continued making observations, making a note of them as she went.

“I haven’t moved so far, so I’m okay.”

“We’ll help you sit up if you’d like in a moment. I’ll ask again after that.”

Your eyes drifted around the room with every passing moment bringing out the clarity of everything. Where…where was he?

The machine beeped to signify the cycle was complete and the tight grip of the cuff released, letting you relax better. Kelly took note of it and smiled at you.

“Well, so far I have no worries about your condition aside from some confusion, which is understandable. But let’s try and sit you up now.” She turned to the others then. “Do any of you want to help? I’ll tell you where to hold her and when to lift.”

Derek approached your bedside with his usual charismatic grin that even in the state you were in right now, you couldn’t help but smile in response.

“C’mon, sugar. Let’s get you upright and comfy.”

The nurse made quick work of guiding him where to hold you, and when she took hold of your other side she turned her attention to you.

“This may cause your stitches to feel like they are being pulled when we move you now, okay? We’ll be as swift as possible though and I’ll assess what to do next, depending on how it goes. Does that sound okay?”

You nodded, just wanting it to be over with.

“Okay… In three, we are going to lift her upper body up and pull her back. Someone please grab the pillows and hold them further up to support her back.”

Emily rushed over and smiled at you reassuringly, and at the count of three you were hauled upwards and adjusted to sit upright.

Oh, how your thigh screamed pure pain. It was only when you noticed the horrified expressions on your friends’ faces that you realised you had screamed. But in that moment you hardly cared, curling over in agony as tears immediately sprung up in your eyes. The nurse sprung into action immediately, pressing the support button and ushering everyone away from the bedside.

It was like fire, like knives, like claws. Tearing and ripping and destroying the nerves on the entire left side of your body. You couldn't stop crying, wailing when hands reached at you to stop your thrashing. And then it was as though a switch was flipped and you calmed, laid still and Kelly appeared into view.

“We've injected a sedative in you to help you relax and we'll give you some strong pain relief now.” She said and took hold of your hand gently. “You may feel sleepy though, is that okay?”

All you could do was nod as stray tears dribbled down the sides of your face and soaked into the pillow below your head.

There was a moment longer of the blinding pain, then it slowly began to ease a little and your eyes felt a little droopy. You weren't sure what was going on for a while, only hearing snippets of conversation further away from your bed which made your brows furrow.

“...not leaving until we at least keep her updated...”

“...staying here with her until she's ready…”

Your eyes flicked to the side when you spotted the oldest member of the team sidling over, and he laid his hand on the side of your head carefully. He offered a tired smile.

“Hey kid.”

Your lower lip wobbled.

“It was bad, wasn't it? Whatever happened.” You croaked. The man leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead and sighed.

“Do you remember anything at all?”

You scrunched up your brows as you tried to remember back. The dull ache in your thigh brought it all to the forefront of your mind and your chest heaved with a quiet sob.

“What the fuck,” you cried softly as you gazed up at Rossi tearfully. The man brushed his hand over your head and allowed you to grab onto his arm for comfort as you let out everything you were feeling.

“I know. You’re gonna be okay, kid.” he soothed. You couldn’t remember it all, only flashes. But it was enough to leave you feeling like you had been shattered into a thousand pieces.

At one point Rossi produced a handkerchief for you to use, refusing when you tried to give it back instead of using it. And so you cleared your face with it, breathing deeply in and out to calm yourself down again. When you finally reached a point where you wouldn’t immediately break down again you noted the nurse was gone and your friends stood around your bed.

“We asked for a little more time, and one of us is gonna stay overnight with you.” you heard Derek explain but you sniffled as your eyes darted from face to the next.

“Wh…where is he? Where’s Hotch?”

There was a shared glance; the absence of the BAU’s leader was uncomfortably prominent. Rossi spoke again.

“Strauss called him in. Actually, he had been staying here up until just a day ago.”

Huh?

“What…?”

You were confused.

“Yeah, slept in the little bed over there since you came out of surgery.” Spencer said. But it didn’t make sense to you.

“W-why? That’s-”

Emily raised her brow at you as she folded her arms across her chest.

“That’s what?”

“Weird as hell.” You finished, frowning as your eyes flitted to the bed that lay closer to the ground than the one you were in. He had stayed there?

“Why’s that, sugar?” Derek asked you and you blanched.

“Because he’s Hotch, duh.” Your eyes drifted down to your hands that were now curled into fists in front of you. “Probably was waiting around for me to wake up to tell me off for being reckless.” You muttered dully. The room fell quiet then, aside from that maddening beep.

“You really don’t remember much from what happened, do you?”

Your eyes flicked to JJ, who appeared almost distraught.

“Not really. I-I take it I’m forgetting something important.”

“We should let it wait for now. It isn’t a good idea to overwhelm you with too much information.” Rossi cut in, sending a pointed look to the others. Well, you certainly didn't like that. You swallowed thickly.

“I wanna know what happened.”

Rossi eyed you.

“Not right now. Your priority is resting and recovering.” He said more firmly. You slumped slightly in defeat; there was no point in crossing him. Tiredness washed over you and you sighed, realising you were going to be recovering for a while. Derek took hold of your hand and gave it a squeeze.

“Hey, babygirl’s gonna video call you tomorrow, she’s missed you so much and been crying on the phone to me about it all.” He said, then chuckled. “But don’t tell her I told you that part.” He then winked and you scoffed tiredly.

“I’ve missed her, too.”

Day by day you slowly recovered, getting to the point of using crutches to move around a little bit, and for a week a different member of the team stayed with you overnight in the hospital- something you were very grateful for with the nightmares that had begun to tear through your sleep. But as life goes, they couldn't stay forever and eventually the call came in to summon them all back to Quantico.

“I don't like the idea of leaving you here alone.” Emily said after the text came through. It had been her turn that night to stay with you. You shrugged.

“Criminals aren't going to stop just because we're one member down, Em.”

“I know, but… We're all so worried about you. You- you didn't see what we witnessed when we found you.” She trailed off and you could see her fighting off the urge to cry. You reached out and took her hand gently, rubbing your thumb over the back of it.

“Hey… I'm-I’m okay, yeah? I'm in safe hands. And before you know it I'll be back in town.” you tried to smile at her, which she appreciated but could barely return the gesture.

It had been a week since then, and finally you were being discharged. The idea was to have whoever was available from the team to fly back over to you and stay with you in a hotel for a few days, just to be sure all was stable, then return to the home state together. You had no idea who it would be though, it was highly dependent on the nature of whatever case the team was on at the time.

You sat waiting, perched on the edge of the hospital bed you'd been living in for the past while now, when there was a knock on your room door. You shifted on the bed carefully, keeping your thigh secure as you moved, then called out.

“Come in!”

There was a pause, then the handle turned and the door pushed in. Your breath caught in your throat. Hotch stood in the doorway, just as breathtaking as ever wearing some dark jeans and a dark blue button down shirt underneath a casual jacket. Cautiously, he stepped into the room.

“Hey, (Y/n).” He said. Your hand grabbed the untidy bedsheet tightly.

He had referred to you by your first name.

“S-sir.”

His face twisted into an expression you hadn't seen on him before for a split moment, then it returned to his normal stoicness. He cautiously approached the bed, stuffing his hands into his pockets and his eyes darted around the room. Was he nervous? Why?

“I'm taking you to the hotel, then home.”

You nodded. What were you to say to him? You sniffled loudly.

“I… I’m sorry for what happened, sir. I hope there wasn't too much paperwork.” You mumbled. Hotch looked at you, bewildered.

“What? You don't need to worry about that.”

“But-”

“Please don't stress yourself out over it. I've handled it. Everything is fine.” He cut you off gently. What in the fuck was happening? You expected to be reprimanded, to lose your job, for him to be cold and angry at you. But this?

You sighed gently and the nurse entered the room with your discharge paperwork. She smiled sweetly at the both of you.

“Ah, I see your boyfriend was able to return to take you home!”

The both of you tensed up as your eyes flicked to one another, then as Hotch opened his mouth to speak you beat him to it.

“Oh no, he's not my boyfriend. He's my boss.” You said quickly, returning your gaze to the nurse and immediately a look of horror crossed her face.

“Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to assume.” She handed over the paperwork to you and gave you an awkward smile. “Here's your paperwork, I'm going to get you a wheelchair to take you downstairs, then you can continue on your crutches.”

You nodded and thanked her, then sat quietly avoiding looking at the man opposite you. He shifted from one foot to another whilst you messed with the crutches propped against the side of your bed.

“I wanted to get back sooner instead of making you stay here alone.” You heard Hotch say after a moment. You lifted your head slightly to look at him. The expression on his face struck you, you'd never seen such remorse from him before. Well, at least not aimed at you. You shrugged.

“That's how it goes in this line of work.”

“No, it really doesn’t.”

You stared at him; your brow twitched.

“I…”

The nurse returned then with a wheelchair and the both of you turned your attention to her approaching figure.

“Here we are! Right, let’s get you into the wheelchair now.” The nurse glanced at Hotch. “Are you able to help?” She asked, more cautious this time. He nodded.

“Of course, yes. Tell me what you need me to do.” he responded sincerely. She eyed him for a moment longer, then nodded once.

“We are going to support her from under her armpits and lift her up to stand after I lower the bed.”

She took hold of the remote that controlled the hydraulics of the bed and lowered it to the correct level for you to stand. The both of them prepared to help you then, slinking an arm under your pit and round your back securely. While you were still wary of Hotch, confused by his sudden change of heart, you still had feelings for him and the sensation of his arm around you was something you’d had craved for so, so long. And as you pushed up off the bed to stand you winced at the sharp pain in your thigh, burying your face in Hotch’s chest as you whimpered.

“Easy, you’re okay.” you heard him say softly, his thumb rubbing against your back soothingly.

He didn't let go, not even when you were finally sitting in the wheelchair. Instead moving his hand to your arm comfortingly. The nurse didn't question it.

“Alright, I have a got you your prescription of pain medication here, I'm putting it on top of your discharge papers. You're able to leave when you're ready now, Miss (L/n).” She said and you nodded tiredly.

“Thank you…”

She smiled and moved to the side to allow Hotch to wheel you out.

“You take care now, okay? Call us if there's anything you need.”

You nodded at her and offered a weak smile in return, then Aaron began to wheel you out of the room. You lost track of the many winding corridors you travelled down to reach the exit, but soon you were outside and you breathed in deeply when the air hit your face.

“God… you forget how nice it is when you go outside.” you said softly. Aaron hummed and directed the wheelchair to the car he must have hired- much lower to the ground than an SUV, that you were worried would have been your mode of transport. He locked the wheels in place and took hold of your crutches with one hand while the other hooked around your back to help you stand.

“Squeeze as tight as you need to onto me.” You heard him say, then when you were ready to try you pushed up from the chair painfully, wincing and once again burying your face against his chest.

“F-fuck- hurts-”

“I know, swe- (Y/n), I know. You're doing very well.” Aaron murmured as he passed you your crutches. You thanked him and rested your weight on them, taking it off your poor leg instead. He pushed the chair out of the way and opened the passenger door open for you and helped you lower down onto the chair slowly. It was all so painful still, straining your wound site and sending sparks of pain up and down the side of your body. By the time you were belted in you were exhausted.

Hotch nudged the brakes off the wheelchair and grabbed the handles, then turned to you.

“I'm going to take the chair back. I won't be long, okay?”

You nodded and he bumped the car door with his hip to close it for you. You sighed softly and settled back into the chair. You weren't so sure what to think of feel right now.

“I'm going to order food in, what would you wanna eat?” Hotch asked you hours later. You were sitting up on one of the beds in the twin room you were sharing with him now. It was a different hotel to the one you'd stayed in for the case, more luxurious and you were on a floor much higher than the room you had been staying in at the other hotel.

You sighed softly.

“I'm not really sure. What places are there available in the area?”

The man crossed the room to you and held out his phone, showing the food delivery app to you.

“I think it might actually be easier if you take a look than me reading them out. There's quite a lot.” He said with a barely there smile. He… It made your stomach feel funny and you looked away quickly, taking the phone off him with a quiet ‘thanks’.

“You have any preferences?” You glanced in his general direction, keeping your eyes away from his face.

“I will find something on the menu wherever you choose. Don't worry about it.”

“Alright then…”

You heard Hotch sigh and he moved to sit on his bed, perching on the edge facing you.

“Is something wrong?” He questioned you. You continued scrolling.

“I'm tired and in pain. That's all.” You knew you sounded unconvincing.

“Please don't lie to me.”

You finally turned your head and looked at him, lips pulled downward.

“Well then I don't want to talk about it. Please leave it alone, sir.”

He stared at you and his brows began to furrow deeply. His jaw clenched slightly.

“(Y/n). When I thought you were going to die, I-” He cut himself off, swallowing thickly and his left hand curled into a fist and his thumb began to stroke across his second knuckles. “I was fucking terrified. Seeing you like that, I don't think I'll be able to forget it.”

You stared wide eyed at him for a moment in silence. You didn't expect this, didn't think he cared this much. In the artificial light of the room you could spy the glint of tears threatening to spill from his sad, brown eyes.

“S-sir… I-I didn't realise you felt so strongly about it.”

He sniffled and lifted his hand to wipe his eyes with his thumb and fingers. You bit your lip, trying to stop it from trembling.

“That's also my fault. I kept pushing you away and this is what happened as a result.” He mumbled. The room was quiet for a while, the hum of the AC filled the silence as you stared at the man before you. Far gone was the person you'd come to expect and were used to, the closed off and cold unit chief who would barely do so much as stiffly discuss work with you when he needed to, in his place was a man filled with regrets, with concern and an emotion you couldn’t recognise. Or at least, you didn’t want to. For all you knew you’d be misinterpreting things and your heart just couldn’t take it.

You sighed.

“What happened? I only remember parts, the others won’t budge when I ask them.” You finally settled on, hoping he would be the one to bring you from solitude. He shifted on his bed and you opened your mouth to push for answers, when he spoke.

“The day you were kidnapped, we found another victim’s body- Carla Reynolds- who you’d spoken to a few days prior. Your FBI badge was with the body and- and you blamed yourself.” He paused, letting the words sink in. You remembered her, and you remembered the state her corpse was in when you visited the body dumping site. Hotch noted the tremble of your hands and his brows creased. “If you need me to stop…”

“No. No, I- I need to remember.” You cut him off and curled your hands into fists. He was quiet for a moment, then nodded.

“You- you fell into a dark place of blaming yourself. You tried to remember faces from the day you interviewed her but you couldn’t. Her parents were let in and they confronted you when you were by yourself. I-“ he clenched his hands into fists and dropped his gaze. “I should have said something then, did something. And when you snuck out of our hotel room with the car keys from my jacket that night? My heart sank.”

Oh… it was coming back to you now. Your lower lip trembled.

“He… he had a knife at my back when you called me. That’s why I, um, ended the call.”

“(Y/n)…”

You dipped your head and wrapped your arms around yourself.

“I’m sorry for the stress and grief I put you all through, I just… I didn’t think straight at all. I- I’ll understand if I do lose my job based on my actions during this case.” You mumbled and you clenched your jaw in an attempt to stop yourself from crying. You heard Aaron sigh, then a moment later the mattress dipped under his weight as he sat down beside you.

“Hey, I have no plans on doing such a thing. You’re a valuable member of the team and terminating you would be not only a poor decision, but also hypocritical.” He closed his eyes for a moment and laid his palm against his forehead, breathing deeply. “I think everyone on the team has done something reckless, including myself. And yet we’re all still here in the team.”

He could see you were not entirely convinced from the way you fussed with the hem of your shirt and the wrinkle of your nose. But you were tired and hungry and just wanted to sleep. And so you picked his phone up from where you’d set it down beside you when you curled up earlier, and chose a random restaurant to order from and picked something. You offered his phone back to Hotch and avoided his gaze.

“I chose something. It’s your turn to now.”

His fingers barely brushed against yours as he reluctantly took the phone back and you gritted your teeth a little, trying hard not to show a response to the touch. Hotch sighed again, but didn’t push the unresolved conversation for he could see the exhaustion weighing in on you. You knew he wouldn’t let it slide forever, though.

Little by little, you began letting your guard drop slightly around Hotch. While you still felt uncertain about him, questioning if he really had cared about you all this time, hearing his soft voice as he checked in on you at your apartment and brought you groceries to cook meals for the week for you. It was, frankly, weird. But not an unpleasant weird. It had your feelings for the man in turmoil though, what should you be feeling towards him, if it was perhaps something to still cling onto.

There was always a certain look in his eyes whenever he visited you; a sadness, the look as though he had much to say but not knowing how to, or if he even should say. You never brought it up.

The others would stop by as well, especially Penelope with her being in the area all the time. Sometimes they’d all visit at the same time, having a group dinner and helping you around the apartment- even when you at first protested. Thinking back on it, you weren’t so sure why you were so reluctant to let your friends help you. They’d been so supportive and caring, and you felt as though you were close to being back on your feet in a way. Nightmares plagued you though, tearing through the night mercilessly and leaving you more exhausted than you’d started out. You had yet to make any of them aware of it, not quite ready to talk to them about what you experienced. Sooner or later you would have to if you wanted to return to work smoothly.

It was a few months later when things took a turn. After another round of extensive physical therapy and talking to a psychiatrist, Aaron had brought you back home- as he always did after such appointments if he could- to make sure you were okay. You never asked him to attend any of them, he had took it upon himself to see to it if he wasn’t away with another case. Part of you was curious as to why, but decided against asking. It was… nice having him care about you like this.

He was finishing up washing the dishes (despite your protests) after the two of you had shared a meal again when your phone began to ring. You picked it up and raised a brow at the number; it wasn’t one in your contacts. The area code was for Virginia though and you decided to answer it.

“I’m gonna take this call, s-Aaron.” You murmured softly to him and he nodded.

You swiped to answer and held the phone to your ear as you walked through to the living room.

“Hello?”

“Hello, this is Section Chief Erin Strauss. Is this (Y/n) I’m speaking to?”

A chill shivered through you. What on earth was she calling you for?!

“A-um yes! It is, yes. Uh, how can I help you, ma’am?” You answered quickly.

“Upon your return to work tomorrow, I would like you to report to my office first thing. Is that understood?”

That wasn’t good.

“Y-yes, ma’am. I can do that. Is that all?”

“Yes that is all. I hope you have been recovering well, agent (L/n). I’ll see you tomorrow, good bye.”

The line disconnected before you could say anything else and for a moment you merely stood rooted in place.

“(Y/n)?” You heard from behind you, snapping you out of your trance. Turning to face Aaron, you blinked at him. You noted the front of his shirt had damp patches from where the water in the sink had splashed onto him as he washed up.

“Mm?”

“Who was that on the phone?”

You were quiet, debating what to say to him. His brows creased as he stepped closer, concerned about the extending silence.

“You don’t have to tell me, but I just want to make sure you’re-“

“Strauss!” You blurted, stopping Aaron in his tracks. “It- it was Strauss. Wants me to um, visit her in her office tomorrow when I arrive back.”

Aaron’s brows furrowed now as he folded his arms across his chest, covering up some of the damp splotches on his shirt.

“Do you know what she wants?”

“No… do you?”

He shook his head as you and dropped his gaze.

“Listen, tomorrow… when you return to the office. I want you to come to my office whenever you have the first opportunity to do so. I will issue you your new FBI credentials and your gun.” He said sincerely. You nodded.

“Sure, I can do that.”

“That isn’t all.” He moved closer towards you and laid a hand on your shoulder, causing your breath to catch in your throat. “I have something I need to discuss with you, it’s important. As well as that, I want you to know that if anything becomes too much; come to me and tell me. You’ve been through a hell of a lot, it’s okay if you struggle to find your footing.”

He squeezed your shoulder gently and you finally found the ability to breathe again, nodding quickly as you glanced away bashfully.

“Y-yes. I- I can do that, sir- Aaron.”

A slight smile twitched at the corner of his mouth.

“Thank you.” He said softly.

You were almost nauseous with stress and worry as you rode the elevator to the correct floor. It was hard to remember the last time you’d been here. but it wasn’t even just the nerves of returning to work after so long, you were on the way to talk to Strauss. You’d hardly slept that night after Aaron left your home, instead wracking your brain as to what she could possibly want to talk to you about. As the elevator dinged, you knew you didn’t have anymore time to think about it.

Briskly, you walked towards her office, avoiding other people who were at the office as early as you were. You hadn’t looked through the glass doors to the bullpen yet, you weren’t ready.

Standing outside Strauss’ office, you knocked and waited. Every second that ticked by felt like an eternity, then the door swung open to reveal Erin Strauss. She smiled slightly at you.

“Hello agent (L/n). Do come in.” She greeted you and held the door open wider for you.

You stepped inside and listened for the quiet click of the door shutting behind you, followed by the muffled clack of her heels on the carpet as she walked back towards her desk. She gestured to the chair opposite her desk as she settled into her seat and you quickly moved to sit down.

“Thank you, ma’am.”

She knitted her fingers together in front of her and studied you for a moment.

“You must be wondering why I called you in today before you headed into the office.” She said. You cleared your throat and drew in a deep breath.

“I am, yes.”

“I want to commend you for your bravery first of all, but also offer my sympathies for what happened to you. If there is anything I can do to help you, you need only ask.”

You shifted in your seat and nodded slightly, keeping your head bowed.

“Thank you.”

“That isn’t the only thing I brought you in to discuss though.” The shift in tone caused you to stiffen and you felt a throb of pain in your thigh.

“Ma’am?” You lifted your head to look at her.

“During your… predicament, James Humphrey had a camera set up recording, just as he had done with his other victims.”

She paused for a moment whilst you processed this information, a coldness settling within your core. She continued after a moment, her face expressionless.

“While I have not watched it, I have read the transcripts and I am concerned with what I have read. So I need you to be honest with me when I ask you something: what feelings do you have for agent Hotchner?” She asked, staring at you. Your entire body froze up, eyes wide in alarm.

What?

“M-ma’am, I don’t understand… what has that got to do with-“

Strauss pulled out a piece of paper from a casefile you hadn’t originally noticed was sitting on her desk and began to read from it.

“James said ‘wearing these cute lil’ frilly panties for your boss?’ And you didn’t respond at first, which urged him to continue and you both argued about it. That is until he says ‘You seriously think no one sees it? It’s pathetic really, you being desperately in love with your boss and craving even an ounce of praise from him.’ And even mentions the two of you had been sharing a bed.”

You stared at her in horror, struggling to comprehend any of this, or even why she was bringing it up in the first place. The pain in your thigh throbbed more intensely, to which you pressed your lips together tightly. She continued, eyes scanning the paper.

“That isn’t all, agent (L/n). Later on, when the team did reach your location, you said to agent Hotchner that you have ‘always liked him more than you should’ which, added to everything that transpired beforehand, leads me to believe you have inappropriate feelings for him.” The woman concluded, returning the piece of paper to the casefile.

And all you could do was stare at her.

Was she truly more concerned about this over the fact you had been tortured and almost died?! Besides, you had no memory of-

Your heart lurched in your chest and your hand trembled slightly. It had all come flooding back, the memories of it all, the realisation you had practically confessed to Aaron Hotchner on what you believed to be your deathbed. You swallowed thickly.

“I…”

“So I will ask you again, agent (L/n). What feelings do you have for agent Hotchner?” Strauss asked impatiently now and you felt as though you were on the brink of throwing up.

“M-ma’am, I-“ you closed your eyes for a moment and exhaled. “I- I do have feelings for him. B-but I have never and will never let that interfere with mine or his job-“

“That is not what I asked.” The woman cut you off and you closed your mouth quickly. “You do know about the policies surrounding fraternizing with colleagues, especially that of your superior, yes?”

You nodded and clenched your hands into fists in your lap, fighting the urge to look away.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Then you’ll know it is not acceptable to have feelings for agent Hotchner, your superior, nor would it be acceptable to engage in relations with him.”

Your jaw clenched.

“I understand, ma’am.” You gritted. Strauss clasped her hands together firmly as she tilted her head at you.

“You have two options: if you do not wish to lose your job, I will assign you to a new position in a different state. You will no longer have contact with agent Hotchner, nor the BAU unit as a whole.” Your chest heaved with utter shock, but she wasn’t finished. “Either that or you hand in your resignation. You will still not be able to have contact with agent Hotchner.”

All you could do was stare at her, unable to say anything. Never see Aaron again? Or talk to him? Even acknowledge his existence ever again? You felt your heart shattering to pieces, the coldness within spreading throughout your body. All of this time slowly building a positive relationship with him during your recovery, your feelings growing stronger for him, would all have been for naught. This was a worse agony than everything you’d been through, entirely heartbroken.

Strauss cleared her throat to bring your attention back to her and she handed you two envelopes.

“One of these is a form to fill in if you wish to transfer, and the other is for resigning. You have until the end of the day to make your decision, agent (L/n). That is all.”

You didn’t remember walking out of her office after that, nor finding your way back to the main precinct where the glass doors were to the bullpen. But as you heard your name being called and you turned to see Emily and the others approaching the doorway, you returned to your senses and quickly made your way into the elevator to leave. You couldn’t bear to face any of them now, especially him.

Just when we thought things were gonna get better for them too 😔😔😔😔 maybe next chapter it'll be different >:3 thank you for reading this far!! It means a lot to me 💖💖💖💖💖

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner x plus size reader #aaron hotchner x female reader

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ldysmfrst · 3 months

Text

Was it Fate?

This is a reader request by @bethanysnow, who holds membership to my Patreon. Her request is as follows:

"I have a request~ what about San from Ateez getting paired up on a variety show with a designer that is getting popular in South Korea?? For plus size fashion? And I can totally see him just falling head over heels for her~ ^-^"

This is my first ever Reader Request, and I am more than happy to fulfill it as Bethany has been my main support for my story, American Mate!

Pairing: Idol!San x Plus-sized FemReader

Status: Reader Request, One-shot

Word Count: 11,194

Genre: Variety Show Fluff

Warnings: None

Thank you to @cyaspeedy and @animatedglittergraphics-n-more for this story's artwork and banners.

As a plus-sized woman, you intimately understood the challenges of finding stylish and comfortable clothing. The sleek jumpsuits, the simple evening gowns, and the flowy summer dresses that were supposedly one-size-fits-all never quite fit the bill for you. It was this personal struggle that sparked your realization that clothes were an art form, and you were ready to create your masterpiece.

Your decision to launch a clothing line exclusively for plus-sized women was a game-changer. It was a mission that resonated with many, and it took numerous visits with investors and hours of hand sewing before your line took off. The unexpected support from the long-standing House of Schiaparelli propelled your mission to new heights. While the House of Schiaparelli offers women the essence of bold style and timeless allure, your mission was clear–“Everybody deserves clothes they feel good in.”

Your brand's success was a whirlwind. In just 11 months, 17 days, and 18 styles later, you had a summer line ready to go. Your diligence and unique aesthetic caught the attention of some of the nation's top photographers and production directors. Once you pitched the idea to the producing director, it only took a few days to get the ball rolling.

Like most advertisements, you were blessed to work with some of the top Idols. However, unlike most brands that stuck with just one Idol or one Idol group, you wanted some from different groups because it supported your ideals of inclusion. Your concept was a couple having a date at a cat cafe; your love of furry pets is never-ending, which is reflected not only in your design but also in the ads.

While you had been a fan of K-pop music for many years, you found it easy to work with the different Idols. BamBam from GOT7 ended up adopting a cat from the cafe. Lisa from BlackPink surprised many, but her love for cats and the group's support for the LGBTQ+ community perfectly fit your brand's mission to include everyone. However, it was shocking that your advertisement also included Lee Know of Stray Kids and Yoongi from BTS.

Soon, your commercial played on screens nationwide, from Doota Mall to Starfield COEX Mall and even Lotte Department Store.

“Alright, can we please stick together this time?” Hongjoong requests the other members. “We really don’t want to leave Wooyoung at the mall again.”

“Hey! That was a one-time thing, captain!” whines Wooyoung, making the others laugh.

Shopping with the other members was always easier for San. Despite his onstage presence, he was, is, and will always be an introvert. San has often seen videos of the group with remarks about Ateez being out and about and San looking more like their manager rather than another member.

This fact makes San proud because he is all about being comfortable and looking good. Yeah, he wears clothes onstage to showcase himself for Atiny, and he loves it. In his everyday life, though, he likes to be comfortable in baggy hoodies and pants, loose shirts, and things that make him feel good but not showy.

Mosing around the mall with the other members, having already bought what he came for, San sees a new ad with Lee Know. Having worked with Stray Kids during Kingdom: Legendary War, he became close with Minho and Felix. Now that he thinks about it, Minho mentioned a new job that he thought San would be perfect for, but he was out of the country at Coachella and couldn’t join.

Stopping to watch the ad as it replays, the most angelic voice comes over, explaining this was the laugh of a new line called “Byeol” by Y/n, which is exclusively making a one-size-fits-all for plus-sized women. The clothing is eye-catching and flattering. The concept of the ad is charming, and at the end of the ad is you.

Your hair and makeup are done simply while you are wearing a lovely pant jumper that showcases the curves of your hips, the thickness of your thighs, and the beauty of your bare shoulders. When you say the closing statement, “Byeol, a plus-sized clothing line to make any woman a star because everyone deserves clothes they feel good in,” a smile seals the deal for San.

The visual component of the ad showcasing his friend and a lovely plus-sized woman in a summer dress at a Cat Cafe is long forgotten. The only thing of importance is you, the one who has stolen his breath and heart.

What San also forgets is the rest of his group. It doesn’t take long before Wooyoung realizes the dance master is missing, “Where did San go?”

“Dude, its either you or him that always gets sidetracked by shiny things. Hwa, can you find him please?” Hongjoong asks.

“Fine, but I am taking Woo with me. I swear he has a built-in San finder.” Grabbing the member mentioned, the two go off to find San, “Meet you back at the van!”

Turning a few corners, the two find San staring at the ad as it replays. Wooyoung bumps into San, “Hey San, what's up why did you stop?”

Breaking the stupor he had fallen into, San looks at the two members with a huge blushing smile, “Oh sorry, I just… well, look.” He points to the ad, drawing the attention of his best friend/soulmate and Seonghwa. Once you appear on the screen, it clicks. Both of them snap their attention back to San to watch his face light up and blush color his cheeks.

“Oh, I see what stopped you. The pretty designer has caught our Sannie’s attention, I see,” remarks Seonghwa teasingly. Wiggling his eyebrows at the younger member, he said, “Y/n, I haven’t heard of that name before.”

“She is new. This is her first line of clothes called ‘Byeol,’” San says while watching you on the ad, wanting to memorize everything he can.

“She named her line the same name as your cat? Do you think she is an Atiny?” Wooyoung asks.

“I don't know, but I wanna shoot myself for not pushing for that ad campaign that Minho tried to get me on. I think it was this one. I could have met her, spoken to her even.” San laments.

“Maybe Minho has a way to contact her, ya know? We are able to get in touch with our brands. I am sure he has a way.” Hwa, always the mother, says with hope.

“That’s right! I have to call him!” San lights up.

“But first let’s get out of here before people start wondering why three guys are staring at women’s clothes and word gets out that we are pervy, okay?” Hwa pushes the other playfully.

Several days have passed, and San is no closer to finding you than he was standing in the mall. Calling Minho had been a bust because, unlike most brands, your brand didn’t want to have long-term ambassadors. Minho mentioned that you seemed to live simply and cared for everyone there like they were your family. Paying for everything, and even holding a party at the end for everyone where you gave everyone a red envelope.

While he loved hearing how generous and caring you were, he did not love Minho’s affectionate tone whenever he talked about you. Was he interested in you, too, or was it just because of the great experience? Oh no, what if you had someone already? What if you didn’t want an Idol? What if you wanted someone like Lisa?

While it drove his bandmates up the wall, San pretty much had all of your advertisements running on replay, but now he was driving himself up the wall without being able to find a way to contact you. You had no social media accounts, your brand’s website was simplistic, and the contact number was for a messaging service. At this point, if it wasn’t for Minho seeing you, one might think you were AI.

Ring Ring

“Hello?”

“Hey Sannie, it’s Felix.”

“Oh hey, Lix. I am not really in the mood to chat right now.”

“Yeah, I know. Minho and Woo mentioned you have been really down lately because you cannot find Y/n, right?”

“Seriously, they are telling other people?”

“We all care about you, Sannie. Especially Woo, and you should know that. But I think I may have good news for you. Woo said something about you guys taking a small break to get ready for your world tour right?”

“Yeah. Captain thought it would be a good idea. Be fresh and ready for Atiny in America. But what does that have to do with anything?”

“Would you be interested in doing something solo for half of that time? Say a variety show with me and Y/n?”

“No way! How? When?”

“The producers just booked me yesterday, and I happened to run into Y/n and found out she was going to join it as the ‘new up and comer.’ Something about trying to show the world that there are things worse in life than being chubby.”

“That is great! But Lix, how am I going to get on?”

“It turns out S. Coups from Seventeen was supposed to join, but his knee hasn’t healed enough, and now they are short an Idol. So, I may have dropped your name. They should be reaching out soon, and filming starts at the end of next week. Just a heads up.”

“LIXXIE! No way! I have to pack, I have to get a hold of my manager, I have to… I have to go!”

“Bye Sannie see you next week I guess.”

~One-on-one Interview with Y/n~

“Okay, sit there and face the camera. It will be a simple interview. You got this,” the MC, who you recently learned is Sung Hanbin from the new K-pop group ZeroBaseOne.

Nodding, you sit down, the production team milling around while fixing things like hair, makeup, wardrobe, and who knows what else. “Sorry, this is my first time doing anything even close to this.”

“Not to worry. You were requested by almost everyone here because of your ad campaign and the high marks you got for your debut line. This is my first time hosting a variety show, so we can both have our first together. Let’s start. Fighting”

The lights around the set dim, leaving you and Hanbin in bright stage lights.

“Hello and welcome to YouPlusMe, the newest variety show where up-and-comers take on challenges with some of the industry's most famous idols. Let us meet one of the “newbies.” She has taken the fashion world by storm with her bubbly personality, strong values, and unwavering determination. It’s time to be the powerhouse behind The house of Y/l/n and the mastermind of “Byeol”, Miss Y/l/n Y/N.”

“Hello! Everyone! I am excited and nervous to be here. I am Y/n. Thank you for all your upcoming support in my first variety show adventure.”

“Miss Y/n, it’s been only a week since your launch and you are already the talk of the town. What makes Byoel so interesting?”

“I think my mission statement and line challenges the conservative fashion views not only here but around the world. Being the talk of the town, as you put it, has brought both positive and negative conversations. I believe that you can be healthy and beautiful without being skinny and petite.”

“What a powerful statement. You are clearly a model for your work and have already stolen the hearts of many. You worked with some very powerful idols for your ad and I have a letter from one of the Idols you worked with, ‘Y/n-ah, Your beauty comes not only from your smile but from your heart as well. I cannot wait for the world to see the diamond that you truly are. I enjoyed working with you and cannot wait to see where you go. Always your supporter, Min Yoongi.’”

A blush creeps up your neck. “Oh my! Mr. Min was a pleasure to work with. Actually, all of the idols who worked on the campaign were professional and seemed to support my ideals.”

“Did you have a favorite idol?”

“Lee Know was the easiest to work with, which I thought was odd. As a card-carrying Stay, he really was down to earth, and once he warmed up, it was nice to see that he wasn’t always the stone-cold Lee Know persona that he is known for.”

“Oh you are a Stay? Did you know that Felix will be joining us?”

“Yes, I did, actually. We met by accident. I was coming and he was going.”

“The show will consist of three teams of two and compete in a series of games. One up and comer matched with one Idol for each team. Wonder if you will be teamed up with one of your Favorite Group Idols.”

“As much as I love Felix-ssi, I don’t know if we would make a good team.”

~One-on-one Interview with Felix~

“She said what? And admitted she is a Stay! Awh… Y/n you break my heart. I guess being an Idol doesn’t save you from that.”

“If you are not on her team, maybe you can use her Stay heart to fluster her into making mistakes.”

“Yeah, no. Lee Know said she gets very focused and didn’t even flutter when she met him. I mean the short meeting we had in the hall, all she did was say hello, introduce herself, and wish me luck in the show. I didn’t even realize she was a Stay.”

“It seems like Y/n is going to be a wild card.”

~One-on-one Interview with San~

“I cannot wait to meet the rest of the contestants for the show.”

“So, San, you were a last moment addition. What made you decide to join on such short notice?”

“Oh, easy, Y/n-shi. I love her clothing line, and once Felix-ah told me she was on this, I knew I had to be here too.”

“Oooo, so have you had a chance to meet Y/n yet?”

“No, I haven’t met anyone else. But hey, I get to work with Felix-ah again after Kingdom and I get to meet Y/n-shi. I say that I am already going to have a good time!”

“I think it’s going to be an interesting show to say the least. We have Felix from Stray Kids, the soloist Eunbi, and San from Ateez for our Idols. For our up and comers we have my ZeroBaseOne bandmate Kim Gyuvin, Ko Chanbin from Namoo Actors, and Y/n CEO of The house of Y/l/n. The teams have been picked by our viewers, so it’s time for them to meet for the first time.”

~Yellow Team Interview~

“Felix-hyung and Chanbin-ah, you were the first team to be chosen by the fans with a whopping 10.8 billion votes. How does that make you feel?” asked MC Hanbin.

“Shocking, really!” Felix says while blushing.

“I wasn’t sure I was going to be picked at all but I guess there are more BL fans out there than I thought. Thank you, everyone for your support,” Chanbin bows humbly to the camera.

“Between Stays and Yaoi fandoms, I am pretty sure we will become a strong team with their love and support guiding us, right Chanbin-ah?”

“That’s right Felix-hyung. We will fight for you!”

~Red Team Interview~

“Waaahh, talk about having the advantage. Both of you debuted with K-pop groups because you were able to survive the shows which created them,” comments MC Hanbin.

“Hanbin-ah, you survived with me too! You tell me if this is an advantage or not,” Gyuvin laughs as he points out his leader is the MC.

“Oh that’s right, you both are part of ZeroBaseOne! You are really new to the music industry Gyuvin-ah. Don’t worry. We survived one show, we can survive another,” Eunbi encourages.

It was almost time to meet your Idol partner. So many of the staff seemed to be giddy about your meeting. You could hear their whispers and giggles, but there were a few sneers and looks of hate. Who were you paired with that would cause this kind of reaction?

“Hey, Y/n-shi, are you ready to go? Oh, is that another one of your pieces?” your assigned manager asks. Today, you decided to wear one of the more classic items in your collection. Your shirt is a crop top that feels like you are wearing a cloud on your sleeves. It’s paired with a black pencil-like skirt with a white scallop edge that starts at your ankle and curves around the front to connect to the opposite hip.

“Yes, it’s from the professional line set to come out in early fall. I thought it would be good for the first meeting. Do you think it’s too much?” you question now, wondering if you are toeing the line of the rules and regulations.

“No, it’s gorgeous. You said it would be available in the fall. I am going to have to watch out for it. I think it would be lovely for my sister,” she praises.

“Oh, before the end of the filming, let me get your number, and I will send you one directly. Thank you for taking care of me!”

“Really? You are so caring, Y/n-shi. Thank you. Now, let’s go before we get behind.”

You walk onto the set and take your seat. Noticing you were the last one, you bow with apologies for your delay, and the interview starts.

Meanwhile, San was the first to arrive on set, his nerves going everywhere. He had learned from Felix that there was now a 50/50 chance that he would be teamed up with you. He wore a simple black suit jacket with black dress slacks and shoes. No one could ever go wrong with black, right?

Next came MC Hanbin, taking his seat with a smile and simple greeting, “Hello San-hyung. Did you know that Gyuvin-ah was on the show too? You met recently right?”

“Oh, he's here too? I didn’t know. Waaa, he would be fun to team up with, but hopefully, he could concentrate. He was so shocked that I was Soft Tofu,” chuckled San.

“He wouldn’t stop talking about it the whole next week. For the sake of my members, I hope you two are not teamed up because he will never stop!”

“Don’t you know who everyone is teamed up with?” San questions.

Hanbin only smiles and nods his head, then follows it with mimicking, zipping his mouth shut.

It takes a few minutes before a slight commotion comes from the side, indicating that the other teammate has arrived. Taking an anxious breath, San looks to see who is coming, only to lose it once you walk around the corner and sit next to him.

“Y/n-shi, glad you made it safely. Any problems?” Hanbin asks, his eyes shifting between you and San.

“Oh no problems. Just wanted to make sure my outfit was approved by PD-nim.”

“You're perfect,” San finally says, his eyes never leaving you.

~Purple Team Interview~

“I think Fate might be playing a hand in matching this team up,” MC Hanbin says, which only confuses you.

“Why do you say that? I am sorry but I really don’t know anyone here but Felix-ssi,” you ask.

“I think it's because of what I said in my one-on-one interview. I mentioned that I knew of your work and joined because of you and Felix-ah.” San says with a slight blush dusting his cheeks.

“Oh, well, you know who I am. Can I know who you are?” you ask, wide-eyed and slightly embarrassed to ask the “famous Idol.”

“Sorry! Of course,” San stands and bows. “I am Choi San, a main dancer of Ateez. It is my honor to meet you, Y/n-shi.”

“Oh, sit down, sit down. I am the new one here, and I should bow to you. I have heard of Ateez, but I am unfamiliar with your work. Sorry.”

“Did you know that Y/n-shi is a card-carrying Stay? She has even gotten to work with Lee Know and met Felix, two out of eight members. Lucky girl. How does it feel not to be recognized, San-hyung?” MC Hanbin asks with a gleam in his eye.

Looking Hanbin dead in the eye, San says, “Y/n-shi may have met and worked with others before me, and that is fine. What matters now is that she is mine.” San glances at you, noticing your tentative smile; he adds, “Go, team!”

~YouPlusMe: Challenge 1 Hunter Hunter~

“Welcome back to YouPlusMe. Today, all the teams are meeting us here at Buggy World in Chuncheon, Gangwon, to play ‘Hunter, Hunter.’ Our teams will not only hunt down other teams and their additional markers but also protect their own.” MC Hanbin walks around showing groups of balloons tied to various trees and ends with the teams wearing protective gear and holding Nerf-like airguns.

Team Purple is San and Y/n, Team Red is Eunbi and Gyunvin, and Team Yellow is Felix and Chanbin.

Both you and San are dressed in similar outfits. He looks like G.I. Joe but in dark purple. You discovered the team colors before you left yesterday and made one of your workout creations meet the requirements. You are wearing black leggings with a few neon purple mesh cut-outs and pockets. Your top, however, was a mix of dark, light, neon, and sparkling purple straps built over a black sports bra and connected with the leggings.

The other teams were also dressed to represent their team colors. You noticed yours was the brightest, but you hadn’t realized that this was a paintball mission or that you would also be a target. Your manager had tried to talk you out of wearing it, but you made it clear that your entire point of joining this show was to showcase your designs and their functionality for the plus-sized fans.

“Are the teams ready?” Mc Hanbin asks, followed by hoots and hollers from the different teams. “Good. Now go to your home bases, and when the horn sounds, it's time to play– Hunter, Hunter.”

Making your way to Team Purple’s home base, you take the chance to look around and notice that you can see Team Yellow’s base from here. “Hey, San-ssi. Yellow is right on the other side of the tree line.”

“Good eye! I think Red is on the other side of them. I have been to this park before, and we are on the edge, which can give us an edge. Oh, good. Our base is going to be relatively hidden from anyone trying to come in from below or from the right. We literally can only be attacked from the top.”

“That’s great. Which means we can focus on offense. Get Yellow out of the picture, and then maybe wait for Red to come find us?” you ask San. You looked him up last night and noticed that he is somewhat athletic. He is definitely the muscle-bound one of his group and has done well on other variety shows before.

Horn blares

“I am down for that. Let's go,” San's smile drops, and you notice it's game time.

It isn’t long before you come up on your first set of balloons, but you pass them by in an attempt to scout the Yellow base before letting them know you are here. However, that doesn’t seem to be San’s plan, as he starts shooting immediately. You turn sharply uphill to find the higher ground and watch as he plows through the balloon groupings.

Movement to the side catches your attention as you see Chanbin trying to sneak up on San. Quickly, you move and take a single shot to his back, the lights of his vest going off, indicating to him that he has been hit. Before he can turn around to see who hit him, you have already dropped back and are taking out the balloons he failed to protect.

Once the field is clear of balloons, you move to find San again to regroup, popping the remaining balloons along the way. It isn’t long before you find him and Felix battling it out, hiding behind bushes. This means the Red hasn’t made it here yet and is either on defense only or has gone after your base. This needs to end quickly.

Considering the terrain and their position compared to yours, you don’t have many options without being seen immediately. You could take the chance and believe that San would find a way to win against Felix so that you could go back and ensure your base was secure, but you also didn’t want to leave him to fend for himself. You made the quick decision to just meet up with San.

Right before you reach him, something to San’s left catches his attention, and you see Felix step out to take his shot. Without thinking, you leap forward, knocking San to the ground and shielding him. All while shooting at Felix, nailing him in the chest and leg. While Felix’s gear lights up, indicating that he is out, a voice rings through the area, “Team Yellow has been hunted. Team Purple and Team Red, the hunt is still on.”

Looking down, you see San looking at you wide-eyed and blushing. You smile brightly at him as you stand up, brushing yourself off, and say, “Sorry, but you were in my way. Now we have two choices: check Homebase or go after Red. Which do you want to do?”

Shaking his head, he also gets up off the ground. His mind was reeling, not from hitting his head or anything, just from you protecting him and laying on top of him. Trying to think of what to do, he can only say, “Offensive, right?”

“Sure thing. Let's go this way. You kept looking this way, so it might be something,” you say as you crouch down and start to walk… no prowl ahead. San happily follows behind you, watching your back in more ways than one.

Taking out the Red team was simple as they stayed by their base and didn’t hide themselves well. Everyone returned to the lobby after having a once-over by the team to make sure no one was injured and gave a few touch-ups for the cameras. Each team sat together on smaller couches, and MC Hanbin was in his own chair.

“Wow, talk about total domination. Team Purple, you took out both teams and didn’t lose a single balloon. The MVP certainly goes to none other than Y/n-ssi. You not only took out three competitors but over 60% of the balloons. How do you feel?” MC Hanbin asks. The rest clap and San pats you on the shoulder.

“I am honored, really. I think there is a stigma that shooting is a man’s game and that because I am plus-sized, I cannot be sneaky,” you respond, a little timid from all the clapping.

“I don’t know how she did it. She was like a ghost or invisible, and I mean, it’s not like she is hard to miss!” Chanbin says, still irritated to be the first one out in the game.

At his comment, San looks at him with fire in his eyes. How dare he imply anything negative about you? Felix tugs on Changbin’s shirt and glances at the now-present demon-like San. Trying to backpedal, he says, “I mean, with how brightly she is dressed, I figured she would shine and glint in the sunlight. Come on, neon and sparkles?”

“I guess this just shows us that you cannot underestimate her or her abilities, does it?” San sneers.

Laughing to ease the tension, MC Hanbin says, “Looks like the competition is on fire! Well, it’s time to rest up because tomorrow you will take on ‘Kitchen Crimes.’ Team Purple, you have an advantage.”

~YouPlusMe: Challenge 2 Kitchen Crimes~

“It’s Day 2! It's time for our next challenge, Kitchen Crimes, based on the American reality show Crime Scene Kitchen and hosted by Joel McHale. Our three teams will have two minutes to search a kitchen where something has been made. Once their investigation time is over, they will have one hour to recreate what they thought was made. Afterward, they will present their dishes to our guest chef,” MC Hanbin informs the audience and viewers.

“Team Purple, you won the advantage for this round. You get to steal thirty seconds from a team’s investigation time and add it to your own. Which team do you pick?”

“Yellow,” San calls out. His eyes pinned Chanbin in his place. You glance up at San with shock because he didn’t even consult you.

“Y/n-shi, are you in agreement with your partner?” asks MC Hanbin.

“Umm, yeah. He is the idol and has played these games before,” you smile gently, not wanting to cause a scene. “Sorry, team Yellow.”

“It’s okay, Y/n-shi. We know Sannie is just playing the game. No harm done, right Chanbin-ah?” Felix smiles, trying to play everything off as part of the game. He knows it isn’t, and he is pretty sure his partner knows he put a target on their back with his offhand comment. Felix just hopes that there are no other chances for San to strike out at him and his partner.

“Eunbi-shi and Gyuvin-ah, how do you feel about the challenge?” asks MC Hanbin, smirking at his ZB1 bandmate.

“Hanbinnie, you know I don’t cook but the world knows that Felix-hyung can make killer brownies. So I am very happy that San-hyung took away some of their time and I just hope that it isn’t a desert dish we have to cook,” Gyuvin says with a whine.

“I am with my partner on this one. I cannot cook to save my soul. Trust me when I was with IZ*ONE, the members were constantly saving me whenever we had to make something. We pretty much are gonna lose this one,” laughs Eunbi.

“Well, there you have it. Team Purple stole 30 seconds from Team Yellow, and they have 2 minutes and 30 seconds. Team Red follows with 2 minutes, and last is Team Yellow with 90 seconds,” recaps MC Hanbin.

It was show time again, and while you knew cooking was involved, you wanted to showcase your line still. You decided to wear something from your comfort line, trying to show that the plus-size woman can be fashionable but comfortable without looking like a lump on a log.

The shirt was a tank top made from breathable neon purple material with a built-in bra that had almost as much support as yesterday's sports bra but a bit more silky feeling. The pants resembled parachute pants, with white and neon purple artistically placed spray paint marks. Topping it off was a black trainer and a high-waisted, jeogori-inspired jacket that matched the pants.

San asked you what you would wear last night at the end of filming. Today, he arrived dressed to match your style, wearing black parachute pants, a deep purple tank top, and a leather jacket. He also wore black trainers but playfully had his hairdresser find a matching neon purple to add as a streak in his hair.

As before, each team continued to wear matching-colored outfits. However, none seemed to stand out as you were with San. It made your heart soar with the hope that the viewers liked what they saw. But right now, it was not time to concentrate on that; it was time to investigate.

It seems like seconds have passed, not anywhere near your extended time. You and San figured it was a cake with strawberries and a whipped cream topping.

“What do you think it is?” San asked.

“I have an idea. We both agreed there were strawberries, cream, and really fine flour in it. So maybe we just make a very fluffy cake with strawberry filling and a whipped cream topping?” you responded, chewing on your lip as you reviewed your notes.

“Ah, yeah. That sounds good,” San agreed, focusing on your now red, puffy lips instead of the paper you showed him.

“Do you know how to make any of it? San-ssi? San!” you attempted to get his attention. Once his eyes snapped to meet you, you asked again, “You zoned out on me. Do you know how to make any of it?”

“Only if it comes in a box and Wooyoungie is with me. Even then, we end up ordering from the bakery,” San says shyly. Not only is he embarrassed that you caught him staring, but you also just learn he can’t cook for the life of him.

“Well, I have tried a few times with a recipe, and I know how boxcakes are made. My mom used to make them with me every weekend, but the filling… I haven’t a clue.”

“That is better than nothing. Let me help get the ingredients,” San says, heading to the pantry. “Wait, what am I grabbing?”

“As you all saw, the investigations went smoothly, and the cooking was a mess. Team Yellow sounded very certain that the dish was Strawberry Shortcake, Team Purple thought it was Strawberry Cake, and Team Red followed their gut with a Strawberry Crepes Cake.”

Now it is time to introduce our Guest Chef,” MC Hanbin looks to the side of the stage. “After 50 years of cooking experience, losing his sense of smell due, and appearing on ‘Chef & My Fridge,’ our guest judge is none other than Chef Yeon Bok Lee!”

“Hello, everyone. It is an honor to be here. I am Chef Yeon Bok Lee, and as a Chef, it is my job to protect the kitchen, but today, it's my job to judge your cooking,” the Chef says with a smile and bowing slightly.

“Welcome, Chef! It’s our honor to have you. You were the one to make the secret item in the kitchen, right?” MC Hanbin prompts, to which the Chef nods.

“I wanted to make something that always brought a smile to the faces of my guests. It is simple in nature, sweet but not too sweet, and a perfect dish to top off a summer picnic.” The Chef gestures to the table before him, where the lights all focus as a covered dish rises, “Today I made strawberry shortcake for you!”

Mixtures of yeses, noes, and other exclamations at things not being fair come from the competitors. “Oh my, that was a mix of reactions,” Chef muses.

“It sure was, first up we will have Team Red. Please come and present your dish to the Chef,” requests MC Hanbin.

Taking their dish up to the judging table, Eunbi and Gyuvin’s Strawberry Crepe Cake starts to look like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Eunbi smiles gently, trying to use her cuteness as a distraction. She says, “Hello, Chef. It is an honor to be cooking for someone as esteemed as you are. We thought with the fine flour and the strawberries, you had created a Crepe cake with strawberry and whipped cream topping.”

“Thank you,” the Chef replies, laughing at the team's appearance. Both competitors are flour-covered, making them more Team White than Red. Your crepe cake has structural problems; half has now slid onto the floor. Shall we taste what we can before the rest follows?”

Gyuvin cuts slices of the remaining crepes and adds whatever strawberries and whipped cream he can find before serving a slice to the Chef and his bandmate MC. Giving them both a cringing smile, he says, “We used fine flour, eggs, cream, sugar, and yeah… it should be good. Umm… Enjoy.”

Both MC Hanbin and Chef cut pieces and inspect the creation before eating. Immediately, coughing and choking start. While the Chef spits out his piece, being a good bandmate, Hanbin swallows his and forces a smile, commenting, “Well, at least it isn’t crunchy or burnt this time.”

“Ah, Team Red, I think you may have mistaken salt for granulated sugar for the whipped cream and strawberry sauce. I will say that your crepes are well made, though, with a good consistency and not overly cooked,” the Chef says before he downs half a glass of water.

“Sorry, Chef. We ran out of time to taste everything,” Eunbi says as she backs away, embarrassed. Gyuvin just avoids eye contact with either man, taking the disaster of a dish back to their kitchen.

“Next up we have Team Purple. Please bring your dish to the judging stand,” directs MC Hanbin.

You take the cake and walk carefully to the stand, hoping to keep it from dropping it like the other team. Meanwhile, San hovers around you, whispering when it's time to step and encouraging you with small praises of how well you are doing by walking gracefully. You are trying not to turn beet red the whole time because praises have always done something to you, and it's not what you want the world to see.

After successfully placing the dish down, San and you bow to the Chef. With a large but sweet smile, you say, “Chef Yeon Bok Lee, it is a pleasure to see you again.”

“You know each other?” San askes, ignoring the side eye from MC Hanbin.

“Miss Y/n, it is you. It has been some time now, hasn’t it? How is your family? Does your father still run the little noodle stand back home?” inquires the Chef with a genuine smile.

“Yes, Chef. It has been a long time and my dad still runs the stand but now he has my brother joining him. Logan-ah is already 13 now and has shown great interest in cooking and baking,” you reply.

“Cooking and baking, you say? I may have to visit your father and brother to see this myself. Maybe he could come and take lessons from me one day. But now, let's see if you have a talent for baking. Eh?” The chef smiles, looking at the well-presented cake.

“Well, Chef, we have presented you with a Vanilla sponge cake with macerated strawberry filling and a whipped cream frosting topped with candied whole strawberries,” San proudly announces.

After inspecting the cake, MC Hanbin says, “Well, it survived the trip here. Please serve us a bite to try out and see if it tastes as good as it looks, hyung.” This is followed by San cutting each piece and serving it to them, including a candied strawberry.

Following the same procedure of cutting, inspecting, and eating as before, you and San hold your breath. Your hand grips San’s wrist as you await their reaction. San, however, has been watching you since you touched him. He brings his other hand, gently rubs your upper arm, and whispers, “It’s okay. We got this. You did amazing.”

You smile at his words, remembering having saved the poor idol from burning off his fingerprints when he tried to dip the strawberries in the hot sugar to coat them without using the dipping fork.

“Waaaahhh! Such a light a fluffy sponge on the cake. I really wish you had made a shortcake and not a victoria’s sponge cake. A minor change to your egg, sugar, and water ratio and you would have made a delightful version of my strawberry shortcake,” the Chef comments with a slight frown.

“Those strawberries done in two ways is amazing given the limited time you had. I suppose as a CEO and fashion designer, you understand time management well,” compliments MC Hanbin.

“Well, that is true, but I also have someone who was a good boy at following directions in the kitchen,” you say, smiling at San, who only dusts his cheeks a deep rose and stutters his breath.

Stepping forward, you take your cake and retreat to your kitchen, with San in two, still reeling from you calling him a good boy. Looking at the closest camera, San says, “See, Captain and Seonghwa-hyung, I can be good! Y/n-shi said so!”

“Last up, will Team Yellow present their dish to the Chef and me?” asks MC Hanbin.

Team Yellow shines like the sun because they know they got the right cake. Not only that, but they were the only ones, which means they automatically won. Placing down the cake on the stand, both smiling so widely that their eyes turned into crescents.

Felix wastes no time introducing himself: “Hello, Chef Yeon Bok Lee. Most know me as Felix, but my name is Lee Yong Bok. It is an honor to have you taste something I have baked with the help of my competition partner, Chanbin-ah.”

“Oh my! We have a significant similarity there, I see,” smiles the Chef.

MC Hanbin laughs, “Not only does he share your name, in a sense, but Felix-hyung is also known worldwide for his brownie recipe. Isn’t that right, hyung?”

“Yes, my mates love it when I make them. Though our trainers don’t like it so much,” Felix giggles.

“Well, I should love to try them another day then, Yongbok-ah. Make sure to reach out when this is all over, ya?” asks the Chef.

“I would be… Yes, Of course. It would be a great honor!” Felix replies, bouncing on his toes with happiness.

“First, he should try out the cake, hyung,” Chanbin interrupts. We present you with a take on strawberry shortcake. It is made with classic shortcake soaked in a simple syrup made with strawberry juice and topped with fresh strawberries, mint leaves, and whipped cream.”

“I can see that you have a keen eye, Team Yellow. You are the only ones to get it right, Congratulations. Now please cut us a slice, “ praises the Chef.

After receiving the pieces, inspecting them, and tasting them, MC Hanbin speaks first, saying, “Wow! Your shortcake is so moist with strawberry flavor, and the whipped cream is the smoothest we have tasted. No wonder you are known for your bakes, Felix-hyung.”

“Hanbin-ah is right. You both did a great job with this bake. I can tell you must have sifted the flour and the sugar before incorporating them in, and the idea to make the simple syrup flavored adds a different dimension. Well done. It is clear that you are the winners of this challenge,” announces the Chef.

With bows of thanks and high-pitched squeals of joy, Team Yellow makes it back to their kitchen.

“I want us all to thank Chef Yeon Bok Lee for joining us today. It was a delight to hear your thoughts on our competitors' dishes—some good and some bad. Team Yellow, with this win, you are tied with Team Purple for first place. Both teams have a chance to win the show by winning the challenge tomorrow, or Team Red, you have a chance to make it a three-way tie,” recaps MC Hanbin.

Looking at Team Yellow, he continues, “As winners of today’s challenge, Team Yellow, you won the advantages for tomorrow’s game, which is– Dance Battle. Each of our Idols will have 24 hours to learn the choreography of their assigned K-pop hit. They then have the next 72 hours to teach their competition partner.”

“In the First game, Y/n is a ninja. In the second game, Felix is a baking master. Now, in the final game, we got this Noona because we are both Idols and are used to learning dances quickly,” remarks Gyuvin to his competition partner.

“I wouldn't be so sure, Gyuvin-ah. San is one of the main dancers for Ateez and is known for his determination and competitiveness. Not to forget, his dad is a Taekwondo instructor, so I am pretty sure that he has picked up some teaching skills from him,” Eunbi replies.

~Dance Battle Song Selection~

“Hello, Team Yellow, and congratulations again on your win in Kitchen Crimes!” exclaims MC Hanbin. Both Team members bow in thanks and show their excitement to the cameras.

“It is time for your advantage! As you know, the next challenge is a Dance Battle and your win today allows you to pick the K-pop songs for all three teams,” he announces.

“No way! That is awesome!” Chanbin says, “We can pick an easy song for us and harder ones for the others. I have two left feet so, yeah. Felix-hyung, you know more about these dance challenges than I do, you pick please?”

“I know the perfect songs, easy peasy lemon squeezy,” Felix says with a smirk.

“Oh, you already know what songs to pick, Felix-hyung?” asks MC Hanbin.

“Yeah, for Eunbi-shi and Gyuvin-ah… we don’t want to give them something easy because they are both idols. I have seen both of them dance, and they are good. So, we pick– Black Swan by BTS,” Felix declares.

“OH! Gyuvin is going to hate that,” laughs MC Hanbin. “It's a perfect choice for them. I can’t wait to see him try to lift Eubin-shi.”

“I think we can handle– My Angel by B.O.Y. It’s already choreographed for two males, and while it’s intricate, it’s not hard. What do you think?” Felix says, looking at Chanbin questioningly.

“Oh! I know that one. Yeah, I can manage that… I think,” agrees Chanbin.

“Chanbin-ssi, you may know your song now but you have to play fair and not start learning it until your dance practice with Felix-hyung, okay?” MC Hanbin warns the competitor, to which he nods in understanding.

“What song are you thinking about picking for San-hyung and Y/n-shi?” questions Chanbin. A smirk plays along Felix’s face while he rubs his hands together.

“Sannie and I have known each other for a while, and I remember he used to struggle with learning dances. For the competition, though, I want to challenge his ability to teach someone else not only to dance but to dance with intense emotion and strength. I want them to dance to– Red Lights by my hyungs, Bang Chan and Hyunjin.

~Dance Battle Idol Practice Day: Eubin~

“How do you practice Black Swang alone?” asked Eubin as she watched the modeled dance practice video. “See that! It’s a lift, and that is a spin. Do you have someone for me to practice with today?”

Eunbin says, looking at the camera, “Apparently, all of the Idols have to learn what they can alone today and then figure out the rest with our partners tomorrow. I just hope my partner is a lot stronger than he looks.

~Dance Battle Idol Practice Day: Felix~

“Well, now I kind of feel bad. I didn’t know that we would be alone for the first part of this dance practice. I thought we were going to be taught by someone. Not teach ourselves.” Felix laments.

“Lucky for me and Sannie, our dances don’t have a lot of paired movement but more of mirrored or synchronized movements. Sorry, Noona Eubin! If it helps, I know that Gyuvin picked up Work by Ateez really quick according to the members. Soooorrrry!”

~Dance Battle Idol Practice Day: San~

“He did what?” San stands frozen when the producer tells him what song Felix picked for his team. “He does realize what this song is about, who dances it, and the… ahh… maturity level of this dance, right?”

Shaking his head, he watched the video again, “There are minimal lifts, but there are accessories, and touching, and like… Can Y/n-shi dance? Does anyone know if she will be alright with this?”

He spends most of the first few hours just pacing and watching different videos of the song his “friend” picked for him to dance to with his current crush. While he doesn’t mind learning it or dancing it, especially with you, he wants to make sure you are comfortable with the sensuality and emotions of the dance.

San’s head just spins, trying to figure out how to remain stage-appropriate while having to run his hands on your body, wrap you in chains, and press against you. His heart is aching as it comes up with a million reasons why you would be able to feel like that with him.

~YouPlusMe: Challenge 3 Dance Battle~

“Welcome back to YouPlusMe,” smiles MC Hanbin. “While you saw our Idols' reactions to learning what song Team Yellow chose, you also saw that we gave them a dance room, a boombox, and a practice video.”

“We want to surprise you with the reactions and the dance practices with their competition partners. To watch the team practices and additional behind the scenes videos, please check out our YouTube channel. Don’t forget to like and subscribe!”

“What kind of competition can we have without a judge? Lucky for us, we have someone who started as a backup dancer Jason Wang. Now, he is known for his choreography skills and has worked with Enyphen, TXT, BTS, and Super M. Let me introduce none other than Mr. Nick Joseph!” introduces MC Hanbin.

“Hello, everyone,” Nick walks about with killer pop and lock moves. “It is a pleasure to be here. I have always been the one competing in these and never judging. I cannot wait to see what the Idols have been able to teach the newbies.”

“Now it’s the time we have all been waiting for. It’s time for… Dance Battles! Team Red is up first with their dance cover of BTS’ Black Swan,” introduces MC Hanbin.

They were dressed in solid black body suits covered with sheer drapes. Their faces were donning black and silver feathered masks. Eubin and Gyuvin lost themselves in the song. They moved around the stage, decorated to resemble a dead forest with fog machines and hanging twinkling lights. They gracefully engaged each other and made the lifts look effortless. It was like they controlled everyone who witnessed it with every beat they hit.

“That was breathtaking,” comments Nick.

“Gyuvin-ah! I never knew you had that kind of strength and elegance! I cannot wait for the rest to see this episode; you killed it. Eubin, how do you think your newcomer did?” asks MC Hanbin.

“He did really well. It took him a bit to trust himself with the lifts, but in the end, he gave 110% and never once made me concerned that he was going to drop me,” smiles Eubin and her partner, just blushing at the praise.

“Thank you, noona, for being patient with me and trusting me to have the skills not to embarrass you. And Felix-hyung, thank you for the challenge, your song choice showed me that I am capable of more than I realize,” bows Gyuvin.

“Next up, we have Team Yellow. Nick-ssi, this team won the advantage in assigning the songs for the battle today. They chose My Angel by B of You. Let’s watch,” prompts MC Hanbin.

The multicolored spotlights have cleared the stage of everything, allowing the shiny black floor and dark-colored walls to showcase the two dancers taking the stage. Felix and Chanbin are dressed in black-on-black pinstripe suits, soft yellow shirts, and no tie.

Once the dancing started, it was clear how well the suits fit but allowed for ease of movement. The crisp movements and synchronization between the two were clean and well-timed.

The newcomer's solo piece only had a minor timing mishap, which was quickly corrected when the idol joined back in.

“I loved the simplicity and the teamwork between the two of you,” compliments MC Hanbin.

“Mr. Ko, are you a dancer?” the guest judge asks. Chanbin simply shakes his head and then looks at Felix with a frown. Felix simply pats him on the back to comfort him in the moment. “Mr. Ko, I am impressed. I am assuming that the solo went a little off track because it didn’t move with the beat. Am I correct?

Both Team Yellow members nod as a staff member hands Felix a microphone: “Ah, yes. There was a sequence that got thrown off beat in the solo, but Chanbin-ah claims to have two left feet, which is why I chose this song for us.”

“Wow. Great choice of song, Mr. Lee. Mr. Ko, if this is your first time really dancing like this, and you are this good after only a couple of days. Bravo! You have great skills as a student, never lose that in life,” advises Nick.

“So far, Felix-hyung has picked songs that fit the teams well. During the selection process, he was trying to challenge his competitors and give his team the edge,” MC Hanbin tells the guest judge.

“Ah, I think he missed his mark because Team Red killed it. His team struggled slightly, but we still have one more team left. What was Mr. Lee’s goal for the last team?” inquires Nick.

“He was hoping to challenge San-hyung with a song that would require him to teach not only dance but also the emotional side of dancing. Team Purple has Y/n-shi, a fashion designer.” MC Hanbin answers Nick.

“Oooo, yes, emotional understanding and ability to convey that is key for most duet performances,” comments the long-time choreographer.

“It’s time! The stage has been set, and our team is in place. Here is Team Purple and their performance of Red Lights by Bang Chan and Hyunjin of Stray Kids,” announces MC Hanbin.

The only light on the stage comes from the back wall, which pulses red. The viewers can see an outline of you kneeling on a four-post bed. Your elegant but staccato movements sync with the deep breathing in the room as the song starts.

A chain in your hands goes across the stage, bringing the focus to San lying on the ground. As the words start, you pull him across the floor as you climb off the bed.

Meeting in the middle, you pull him to his knees before you, and just as another breath is heard, the stage floods with lights, revealing your costumes.

San is wearing skin-tight black leather pants. His black shirt resembles a leather leotard with strategic cut-outs, long sleeves, and fingerless gloves. The tightness of his outfit shows off his muscular figure and leaves nothing to the imagination. Everything is lined with red ribbons and smaller red chains.

Your outfit is a short-sleeved curve-hugging leather body con dress and booty shorts that match San’s. It is also littered with cut-outs lined in red ribbons. Your forearms are decorated with the red chains you used to drag San across the floor.

Both of your makeup designers went gothic, using thick black eyeliner, red eye shadow, and deep red lips. San’s skin was flawless and tan, while they used skin lightener on you, trying to bring a bit of a vampire vibe into the mix.

The two of you honor the mirrored dance of the Red Lights music video. Your fluidity and the power of the interactions between the pair of you has everyone shifting in their seats.

As the song progresses, you both dance back to the bed. You shove San to lay on as you take the focus towards the end. Moving around the bed, you seduce the viewers. Using the chains wrapped around Sans pants as bindings, you connect them to the bottom posts.

The chains from your arms unwind and connect to the cuffs of Sans's shirt. Using the chains, you guide San in his movements as the bed slides to the center of the stage and starts tilting toward the judges.

The song is close to the end when you latch the chains over to the bed's headboard and raise San’s arms over his head. Using the bed's angle, you slide off the bed. Soon, the bed is standing on end.

Chains rattle as San struggles against the restraints, hindering his movements. His face is filled with desires and yearning for your touch.

With a deep roll to your hips, you walk up to San and run your nails along his body from his legs up to his abs.

When the song ends, you lean in, ghosting a kiss over his lips, and then walk away into the night.

San’s deep panting was the only sound heard.

The lights in the studio come back on. The other competitors and the judges are stunned at what they just witnessed. San has been released from his chains and joins you at the front of the stage.

The attention without reactions has you nervously nibbling on your lower lip as you look up at San, who smirks down at you with his eyes still dark and dreamy looking. These last three days have been hell for you.

The first time you heard the song, you were so excited because you loved it. I mean, how could you not be thrilled? Bang Chan was your bias. You already know the dance from the trillions of times you have watched music videos and YouTube dance practices.

After showing off your moves to San, you blushed as he and the camera crew were floored. San couldn’t wait to make it fit the two of you. He quickly decided that you would be one of the two of you in charge.

After some discussion with the production staff, the whole thing came together. The hardest part was making the bed work into the dance more than a stationary prop.

San knew he didn’t want to end it with you and him suggestively on the bed because he wasn’t sure he could stop. When you came up with the idea of taking a more Dominatrix video for the dance and wanting just to leave San locked at your mercy, everyone laughed, but San thought it would be perfect.

Not only did he want to see that side of you, but he also knew it would keep him in check. Then, he also asked if you could help figure out what the two of you would be wearing. Your creative juices were flowing.

You were excited to design something for both you and San. You had never made men’s clothing, but it was a challenge you were willing to take on. Everything came together quickly with the help of the show’s wardrobe, production, and props team.

All these thoughts ran through your head as your focus remained on San alone. It wasn’t until the room exploded in applause that you finally relaxed into San and allowed all the jitters to disappear. Everyone is yelling out variations of acclimations.

“Ok ok okay… Felix-ssi,” MC Hanbin looks at the idol. “I don’t think they struggled with anything with this song.” Felix is just standing there trying to collect his jaw off the floor. His eyes stare into San’s skull with shock and many questions he cannot ask on air.

“Miss Y/n, you killed it,” comments Nick. “Do you have any dance experience?”

While still trying to catch your breath, you answer, “Actually, I do.” pant pant pant “In high school, I was in a show choir, did some musicals, and I was part of a hip/hop and stomp club.”

“Period! That is why you know how to work the stage like it’s yours,” Nick exclaimed.

“You should see you dance the original choreography to this song,” San beamed next to you. “I didn’t have to teach her a thing with that. Our time was spent making the dance more of a duet than a mirrored dance.”

“San-hyung,” MC Hanbin asked, “how did you feel having Y/n-shi do the killing part in the dance?”

“Easy.” San looks down at you while wrapping his arms around your shoulders in a back hug. “The moment she walked into the practice room and showed me what she could do, I knew I had to show off what an amazing and sexy partner I had.”

This caused the room to ooh and ahh, to which you tried your best not to blush. You just hoped the heat on your face was attributed to the dancing, not the comments or the feel of San behind you.

“Well, there you have it. Now, Nick-ssi, as our teams all gather on the stage, you have the wonderful job of selecting the winners of today’s Dance Battle challenge. Who is it going to be?” MC Hanbin looks at the guest judge.

“You know, as a dancer and choreographer, I can see so much talent between everyone on the stage. Each team found ways to work the songs chosen by Mr. Lee to their best abilities.”

Nick’s eyes dance over the teams, “Red Team, you swept us up with your grace. Yellow Team, you showed us what rhythm and teamwork mean. Purple team, you took us on a ride that was powerful.”

“So which team is it?” prompts MC Hanbin.

“I am going to have to go with… Team Purple!”

This caused you and San to jump up and down, hugging and congratulating each other. The other teams came over to pat you on the back and personally remark on how great the dance was.

“Nick-ssi, what was the reason why you finally chose the Purple team?” asked MC Hanbin.

“If I hadn’t known that Miss Y/n wasn’t a trained dancer, I would have thought that this was M Countdown's special appearance. The quality of dance, the passion between the two, and the costume design are top-notch,” explains Nick.

“Want to know something? Y/n-shi not only designed her costume but San’s as well in less than 72 hours,” informs MC Hanbin. “She really is a force to be reckoned with.”

Looking at the camera, MC Hanbin says, “Well this has been an amazing week of challenges for our Idols and our newbies. After three challenges, the clear winner of YouPlusMe is San-hyung and Y/n-shi!”

Cannons go off at the announcement of your team’s win. The stage gets covered in purple confetti as Red Lights starts playing again.

Everyone just grabs random partners and starts dancing. Felix is the one you end up dancing with as he pulls you farther and farther away from San. He wanted to dance some of the music video moves with you to send to his bandmates.

You do not see San's look of longing and desire as he, too, gets swept away by the others.

After the song ends, you find yourself back in your personal dressing room. You would think you would be euphoric after winning the show, but your mind is focused on something else.

You came here to show your work. Use it to your advantage and get your line out there. Challenge the Korean beauty standards and start a fire with the Fashion Industry as a whole. Apparently, the universe had more for you in mind, but you weren’t sure what to do about it.

This last challenge is what broke down your walls. You weren’t expecting to feel something during all of this. You had thought it was just the rush of the competition, the thrill of showing the world who you were and working with someone who was just as excited to be here as you.

You weren’t blind.

You noticed San from day one; who couldn’t?

It was easy to dismiss because you wanted to focus on the show. After the first meeting and exchange of numbers, you soon learned that he had a charming personality.

You found yourself looking forward to filming with him and smiling when he sent a text, but now that it’s over, you feel tight in your chest at the thought of never seeing him again.

It wasn’t until the second day of dance practice that you realized it wasn’t the show that you were excited about but San. Though you weren’t a morning person, it was early for anyone.

Opening the door to the practice room, you froze at the sight. The Idol ran on a different schedule than you, and it was clear he had been there long enough to build up a sweat.

His face was half covered by a baseball cap pulled low. He wore baggy sweatpants that rode low on his hips, showing the band of his boxers, and no shirt. He was lost in his own world, dancing to It’s You by him and his bandmates Yeosang and Wooyoung.

His body was moving like water. The body rolls, the hip thrusts, and the floorwork caused such a primal reaction from you that you had to leave. Your mind had gone into San becoming your partner in unprofessional ways.

A knock on the door brings you out of your thoughts. Walking to the door, you finish putting on your jacket and pull open the door. As if conjured by your thoughts, there stands San.

“San,” you breathe, trying to keep your thoughts from seconds ago to yourself.

“Y/n,” smiles San. He seems fidgety tonight.

“Thank you for everything.”

“Oh, it was nothing. I had a blast. This was my first challenge with someone who was really good at pretty much everything. It made me feel like I was the newbie of the two of us.”

“Oh, never. You are way too talented to be considered a newbie.”

The two of you stand there in the doorway of your dressing room. San is still fidgeting, and you don’t want him to leave yet.

“Are you going to the after party? I think Felix said something about it being at a Noraebang nearby. I think everyone else is going and may have invited others too.”

“I was thinking about it. I am pretty sure he invited my bandmates and his. It would be a perfect chance for you to meet the rest of your favorite K-pop band. Maybe get Chan-hyung and Hyujinnie to sing Red Lights for you?”

You giggle at the thought but hesitate, looking down and saying, “I would only want them to sing it if you were there to dance with me.”

A shy smile blooms on San’s face. Taking a chance that you might see the hidden question, he asks, “Do you want to keep dancing with me?”

“I would love to keep dancing with you, Sannie.” You look up, smiling, hoping he means more than what he says.

“Then, will you be my date to the after-party, and then maybe we can go to dinner some other time, just the two of us?” he asks again, stepping forward.

Resting your hand on his chest, you lean into his warmth, “I would love to go out with you tonight or any night.”

With a smile on both your faces, San leans in and gives you a chaste kiss—just enough to settle your minds from the roller coaster of emotions you both experienced this week and light up your hearts with the excitement of a future together.

The last thought in your head is that agreeing to this show was more than you expected. You never expected to grow as much as you did, to win, or to find what may be love, but…

Was it Fate?

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