#poor daeron no one knows he exists

[maarigolds]

Viserys: I love all my children equally! Rhaenyra… *looks at smudged writing on hand* Agony, Helmet, and uh… Amoeba

Alicent: what about Daeron?

Viserys: who?

[nightswatchdisbandmentera]

Thinking of the most prominent succession struggles in asoiaf and realizing that a good majority of them are not even because of some evil bastard usurping their trueborn relative. Alys Karstark’s dilemma is caused by her uncle wanting to forcibly marry her and steal her birthright. Renly is Stannis’ trueborn brother and yet he declares himself king despite Stannis being older. Euron is Balon’s trueborn brother and Asha’s uncle and yet look at what he did. Littlefinger wants to use a trueborn Harry Harding to take over Sweetrobin’s rights (though not so openly). And the Dance of the Dragons was between a trueborn pair of brother and sister. And if we are to see a repeat of it, it will be between a trueborn daughter of the last Targaryen king (Dany) and a trueborn son (Aegon) of the previous crown prince.

That’s what makes the whole “Jon was a threat to Catelyn’s children” argument so frustrating because people act as if Jon was a ticking time bomb that was going to blow at any minute, purely on account of him being a bastard. When historically, we’re given much more precedent for trueborn relatives to usurp each other.

This frustrating argument arises out of two problems:

ASOIAF stans are not engaging as critically with the text as they should be. Catelyn’s historical evidence lies in the series of Blackfyre Rebellions which happened after a legitimized bastard rose up against his brother. But context is key here. Not only were there several factors that led to this fallout (e.g., Daemon being given the conqueror’s sword Blackfyre, anti-Dornish sentiment not working in Daeron’s favor, Daeron himself being a suspected bastard, Daemon’s overall popularity, etc), but people ignore Bloodraven (a BASTARD!) who supported his trueborn brother’s claim during this series of conflicts. Daemon did not rebel because all bastards are inclined to treachery and all bastards bring evil to those around them. If any bastards raised near trueborns are a threat to the trueborn’s inheritance, then why not Bittersteel? Why not Shiera? Why didn’t other Stark bastards rebel against their trueborn siblings? Several factors led to the conflict specifically between Daemon and Daeron. Instead of taking Catelyn’s filtered history at face value, we should instead recognize that Daemon was given legal basis to push for his claim (after a series of events that symbolically recognized him as the worthy and true heir) as he was now a legitimized son, and succession struggles are, more oft than not, likely to happen between recognized legitimate competing claims. And here’s the thing, Ned Stark at no point indicated that he was going to give Jon legitimacy in the North. And he never indicated that he would give it to Jon over Robb. On the contrary, everyone knew that Robb was the heir. Robb was the one being given lessons, Robb was the one helping Ned attend to visiting lords, Robb was the one who would inherit Ice, etc. By Alys’ account in ADWD, preparations were being made for Robb’s future (NOT for Jon, who was largely ignored). There was no opportunity for Jon to pose any threat to Robb or his children because Ned did not give him legitimacy and he did not allow him to gain backing with the Northern lords. Aegon IV created Daemon and his subsequent rebellion(s), but Ned Stark did not do the same with Jon. Despite Catelyn treating Jon as a walking crisis center, there’s little evidence to the effect. In fact, we might as well say that Bran or Rickon or any of Sansa’s or Arya’s sons would pose an even bigger threat to Robb’s legacy than Jon would, you know given historical precedent and all that.

Treating Jon’s mere existence as one that inherently comes with dire consequences for “le poor trueborns” plays into bastardphobia, which is actually in world bigotry (and grrm considers Jon to be a marginalized individual on account of his bastardy). Saying that Jon is a threat to the Stark kids is saying that all bastards are threats to trueborns but like….so are the trueborns. History, actual hiatory, shows us that trueborns are a bigger threat to each other. But no one is saying “Bran is a threat to Robb’s kids” even though there is precedent. Bran is also getting a lordling’s education just as Robb is, and Bran is allowed to engage with the upper class on important occasions and gain visibility just as Robb is, and Bran is even expected to command his own castle and men (which would even give him ability to stake his claim). So why isn’t he a threat? Instead, Jon is the one who is singled out - because he’s a bastard. He’s being singled out because Catelyn said he should be singled out, despite there being little actual evidence to his supposed incoming usurpation. Which is ironic because the literal purpose of his story is to critique these bigoted views. Jon is just as honorable and good and kind as any other trueborn son, if not more so. And we have seen him sacrificing his own happiness for his siblings (e.g., the direwolf pups and refusing Winterfell because he will not usurp Sansa’s rights). It’s one thing for Catelyn to show ignorance, but we as readers should know better because we have a full picture and not only do we have an understanding of the history being cited by Catelyn (and what is being purposefully ignored), we also know Jon. So we should be saying, “wait no, there’s no indication that Jon is any more a threat than any one of Ned’s sons”.

It is understandable (but not justifiable tbh) that Catelyn is biased against Jon; he is the ever present product of her husband’s affair. But that’s just it, she’s biased. So she has a biased application of history. And she has a biased (and bigoted) view of Jon’s place in it. We as readers have a full picture though. So shouldn’t we be having more nuanced dialogue regarding this instead of taking her biased word for it?

[jaegonsmoon]

Daeron coming back from the Reach and him and Jace surprisingly getting along, as Viserys always wanted. Just for Aegon to become all jealous and possessive

I always forget poor Daeron exists.

I love me some jealous Aegon, it has such a good flavour.

Jacaerys is a pretty boy, he’s handsome and cocky in a way that doesn’t make wanna you punch him, but fuck him—because he knows what he does, and he knows he’s good looking and he embraces and takes advantage of that. And Aegon’s jaw aches with all the clenching he does on a daily basis. For all that Aegon is a brazen individual, always going for what he wants, Jacaerys makes him pause, hesitate; he makes him, lord have mercy, nervous. Every time he approaches him in a flirty manner, Jacaerys either matches his energy too well or rolls his eyes at him. The boy is infuriating, and confusing at times.

So when little Daeron, who hasn’t even been here most of their lives, comes to visit and clicks right away with the nephew he’s been trying to make a move on for months, Aegon is losing.it.

Aemond is sick and tired of Aegon bursting into his rooms rambling about his nephew, he threatens to tie them both up by their feet on Vhagar’s tail if he doesn’t shut up. Aegon swears revenge for later when Aemond finds someone he likes (coughs). The day will come, that’s for sure. So, sweet Helaena is now stuck with listening to him, she’s better help, though. Sometimes she says cryptic shit, but others she just sighs and tells him, “Maybe if you’d let him know…” to which Aegon laughs hysterically and shakes his head and leaves.

One day, Daeron and Jace are sparring in the training yard and they get a little too close for Aegon’s liking, Jace is grinning at Daeron who lends him a hand to help him up and then—Jace gives him one of those cheeky grins he sometimes gives Aegon and says “Well done, uncle” and that does it, his blood boils because how dare his other brothers exist and be Jace’s uncles as well, that’s his job, that’s his line. He stands up from where he’s sitting with Aemond and Luke, the two looking at him with raised eyebrows before sharing a look between them (that’s new).

“My turn, little brother.” He says. He ends up beating poor Daeron’s ass a little too harshly. But he doesn’t miss the look Jace gives him before he lets go of his younger brother and licks at his newly split lip. There’s something he recognises there, something… hot. However, he’s still too angry and his pile of bottled up feelings is starting to overflow.

He ends up glaring at the boy and everyone who there’s spare him a look, even when they’re only praising him, and takes off. He’s tired of this game. A game that for all he knows it might be one-sided. He needs a drink and perhaps—for the first time in many moons, ever since his big sister and his nephews returned to King’s Landing—some company. Anything that takes his mind off over the fact that he wishes it was his eldest nephew’s beautiful, toned legs he was burying himself between…

[coppoladelrey]

About Alicent

"Lady Alicent of House Hightower, the clever and lovely eighteen-year-old daughter of the King’s Hand, the girl who had read to King Jaehaerys as he lay dying." - Fire & Blood, Heirs of the Dragon, a Question of Succession.

From the beginning, you can see how evil Alicent was, so so evil.

"Princess Rhaenyra poured for her stepmother at the feast, and Queen Alicent kissed her and named her “daughter.” - Fire & Blood, Heirs of the Dragon, a Question of Succession.

God, she hated Rhaenyra from the beginning. Rhaenyra never stood a chance, poor child.

"Though many lords and knights sought her favour, the princess had eyes only for Ser Criston Cole, the young champion of the Kingsguard and her constant companion. “Ser Criston protects the princess from her enemies, but who protects the princess from Ser Criston?” - Fire & Blood, Heirs of the Dragon, a Question of Succession.

This is absolutely disgusting, Alicent mistrusts someone that she didn't know and would be spending a long time next to her stepdaughter, who she could clearly see that said stepdaughter had a crush on.

"Queen Alicent went pale when she heard what he had done, crying, “Mother have mercy on us all.” - Fire & Blood, The Dying of the Dragons, A Son for a Son.

She cried tears of joy when she heard that Lucerys was dead, so evil.

"Queen Alicent echoed him. “Nor will they spare my children,” she declared. “Aegon and his brothers are the king’s trueborn sons, with a better claim to the throne than her brood of bastards. Daemon will find some pretext to put them all to death. Even Helaena and her little ones. One of these Strongs put out Aemond’s eye, never forget. He was a boy, aye, but the boy is the father to the man, and bastards are monstrous by nature.” - Fire & Blood, The Dying of the Dragons, The Blacks and the Greens.

Alicent was so power-hungry, it's insane! She didn't want to relinquish power, you can clearly see it here. Alicent wanted to be Queen more than anything in the world, and she didn't want to give up.

"Queen Alicent, beloved of the smallfolk, placed her own crown upon the head of her daughter, Helaena, Aegon’s wife and sister. After kissing her cheeks, the mother knelt before the daughter, bowed her head, and said, “My Queen.” - Fire & Blood, The Dying of the Dragons, The Blacks and the Greens.

Everyone knows that Alicent hated her children, the smallfolk hated her, and that's why everyone called her that. Sometimes I can't believe that people can like her, she's one of the worst characters in ASOIAF.

"they knew it was the custom of Queen Helaena to bring her children to see their grandmother every evening before bed." - Fire & Blood, the Dying of the Dragons, A Son for a Son.

Poor Helaena, couldn't wait to get away from her awful mother. Helaena probably wished every single day that her half-sister and uncle would rescue her from her awful mother.

"Words of these plans soon reached the ears of the Dowager Queen, filling her with terror. Fearing for her sons, Queen Alicent went to the Iron Throne upon her knees, to plead for peace. This time the Queen in Chains put forth the notion that the realm might be divided; Rhaenyra would keep King’s Landing and the crownlands, the North, the Vale of Arryn, all the lands watered by the Trident, and the isles. To Aegon II would go the stormlands, the westerlands, and the Reach, to be ruled from Oldtown" - Fire & Blood, Dying of the Dragons, Rhaenyra Triumphant.

The audacity of Alicent! Wanting to end the war, and try to save her sons from Daemon and the dragon seeds. The throne belongs to Rhaenyra, Aegon had no right to even exist, much less rule anything. Come to think of it, Alicent only wanted power, that is all she ever wanted.

"One death may have been a mercy. The Dowager Queen Alicent of House Hightower, second wife of King Viserys I and mother to his sons, Aegon, Aemond, and Daeron, and his daughter Helaena, died on the same night as Lord Westerling, after confessing her sins to her septa. She had outlived all of her children and spent the last year of her life confined to her apartments, with no company but her septa, the serving girls who brought her food, and the guards outside her door. Books were given her, and needles and thread, but her guards said Alicent spent more time weeping than reading or sewing. One day she ripped all her clothing into pieces. By the end of the year she had taken to talking to herself, and had come to have a deep aversion to the colour green. In her last days the Queen Dowager seemed to become more lucid. “I want to see my sons again,” she told her septa, “and Helaena, my sweet girl, oh…and King Jaehaerys. I will read to him, as I did when I was little. He used to say I had a lovely voice.” - Fire & Blood, Under the Regents, the Hooded Hand.

You can see here from her moments that she only thought about herself, she was only a power-hungry woman that only cares about herself, the original Cersei.

art credit: Magali Villeneuve

All jokes aside, Alicent isn't the "evil stepmother" that some people want her to be. Book!Alicent is a good person, just because you can't read her inner monologue, doesn't mean that we can't see in her actions. She was always a mother first, that's the tragedy of her story.

[drakaripykiros130ac]

now TG stans are loving the fact that dragons are going to die because they shouldn't exist and targs deserve everything bad

they saying this when their favs also have dragons and are also targaryens 🤡🤡

they are so dumb!!

"where is the targ dynasty after the dance" dude, have you read the book? they rose and continued to reign for years and if George knows what's best for him it will give a good ending for the house

"targaryens are nothing without their dragons" cut to the targaryens after the dance continuing to be respected and feared because that's what they are with or without dragons as if daenerys didn't have 3 dragons in the books lol

Too many double standards make them look like clowns indeed.

They get angry when we point out that Alicent’s spawns are not true Targaryens (because although they have Targaryen blood, they are obviously more Hightower in spirit and they fight for Hightower interests), unlike Rhaenyra, Daemon and their children.

Then, they proudly claim how much they despise Targaryens and how they are the worst, but at the same time, they stan Aegon the Usurper and one-eyed Aemond the Kinslayer (who posses the worst Targaryen traits possible).

They hate Targaryens for using their dragons, but are big fans of Aemond, who used his dragon to commit murder for no reason and then burn the Riverlands for no…oh pardon me, there is a reason. Listen to this: because he was mad. Awwww. Poor baby.

They don’t need to worry. The Targaryen dynasty did just fine without dragons and ruled for many years after the Dance.

They are nothing without dragons, huh?

May I present Rhaenyra and Daemon’s glorious bloodline:

Aegon III Targaryen

Viserys II Targaryen

Daeron I Targaryen

Daeron II Targaryen

Daemon Blackfyre

Brynden Rivers (Bloodraven)

Shiera Seastar

Daenerys I Targaryen

Jon Snow (show-wise)

[unohanabbygirl]

FMN SPOILERS!!!!!!!

BE WARNED!!!!!!!

SPOILERS Ch. 31

If this is a possible vendetta against the family but mostly towards Luke, then it’s possible that some of the villains from the past who caused trouble might be back too and it’s probable that they fault Luke in causing the Dance of the Dragons. This is sounding like a cult or conspiracy against poor Lucerys. But who the main players are, are still to be unknown, so far, my theories who would have the most grudge against the family and who have possible connections could be Otto , Larys, Criston Cole, etc… trying to think of other co conspirators but I doubt Daeron since it’s been established that he doesn’t exist in this universe.

By any chance does Owen take after Owen hunt like Grey Anatomy? I’m trying to get an idea of this person.

A vendetta is possible, especially seeing as there’s a chance Luke has interacted with certain figures from the past without even realizing it. Seeing as many people both from the past and in present day do fault him for the dance, taking their chance to enact a cruel form of revenge isn’t a far fetched idea. A two thousand year grudge wouldn’t be surprising in the least.

On top of that, if the antagonists we know of have come back there’s a possibility they’ve also been born into power, therefore have the ability to make certain people’s lives a living hell without ever being caught. It makes you wonder. Though the chances that every villain wasn’t born into the good life are high as well who’s to say some aren’t being manipulated into playing the game once again for the monetary gain if such offers were made?

As for Owen, he’s a man born in horrible circumstances who turned to making such circumstances work in his favor in terms of business. Gambling, drugs, illegal weapons and human trafficking just to name a few. He’s older than Luke by a few decades but younger than most of the adults figures in Luke’s life. Charming yet extremely controlling. I’d even say he has a narcissistic personality type.

When it comes to the activities he forced Luke into I wouldn’t say he enjoyed the sex acts within themselves but instead took joy in the fact that he had such a hold over Luke that he could convince him to participate into very degrading acts just by asking. He took joy in the fact that Luke was very willing to do anything for him and all he had to give in return was praise and the feeling of being cared for.

He often surrounds himself with the vulnerable (young, little to no family, addicts) because they’re the only people who buy the front he tries to push. It’s how he and Luke even met in the first place.

Also, one last thing. If people like Aemond and Aegon can turn a new leaf and become better people, who’s to say others haven’t done the same? Just a lil food for thought.

[thesilverlady]

I think the reason of this whole (Aemond is sweet kid) is because Ryan tried to merge Daeron's character with Aemond. In the book Aemond has never been described as "gentle" "polite" he has been always described as fierce since birth (it has nothing to do with the eye incident) while Daeron on the other hand has been described as the gentlest and most popular one of Alicent's son. I just hate this boner that Ryan has for Aemond. The fact that he nerfed Aegon (the literal claimant of the other side) and not only that but managed to vilify Jace,luke,baela and rhaena just to give a sob story to that psycho???? Like wtf he was thinking? Baela and Rhaena weren't there during the fight but also Aemond literally assaulted 3yr Joffrey does that screams bullied kid to you Ryan??! I wonder how Aemond's fanboy ryan is going to portray the absolute hell Aemond will bring in the riverlands. Or how he will enslaves a woman and take her as his "war prize"

Watch him rewrite aemond's entire arc and lines during the war 💀 I mean look at Criston Cole, there was no doubt that man was evil and a misogynistic incel in the book and now due to the show people think of him as a poor working class man ✊ (completely ignoring the fact that he was a son of some minor house not some poor peasant)

I'll admit, I never thought of Daeron being merged into Aemond but now that you mentioned it I kinda see it. Originally i thought they were trying to take Jace's characteristics (being good with the sword, having leadership skills, being studious etc) to put them into Aemond but given how the triggering of the war was no different from the book (basically Aemond gets pissed and makes dumb decisions) that's definitely not the case.

It's so weird because I'm pretty certain they've confirmed Daeron will appear in s2 and given how there wasn't a single mention of his existence in s1 I'm curious how they'll make it work (I suspect they'll just pretend to have never ignored him).

Ryan definitely has some beef with all the team black characters because there's no explanation why every single character of the show is so terrible written. Jace and Luke being made into bullies was already ooc but why on earth were Jace & Luke given the personality of a burnt toast? I know the latter doesn't have lots going on in f&b but Jace was an active character in the story. We know him

I won't even touch Baela & Laena being there. They had no business but given how they had 0 screentime before Ryan had to figure out a way to insert them and remind people they exist and will be important to the story. Of course this leads to another terrible chain of events 'cause both the twins were hurt and Daemon stared like an old gossipy lady instead of idk, checking his daughters? Furthering hurting his character too.

Listen, all the episodes were a mess but I can write an essay about how monstrous ep4 and ep7 are and how they do the most damage to every single character that shows up on screen.

[polutrope]

for the character asks, Melian!

You and @undercat-overdog both sent me this one! And it's a good one. A complicated character I've thought a lot about and still don't feel much closer to understanding.

Sexuality Headcanon: idk, pansexual I guess? she does not understand this question.

Gender Headcanon: Ainu (Generally fem-presenting. Sometimes tree-presenting, bird-presenting, etc.)

A ship: Not to be boring, but Thingol. It's a fascinating relationship to explore - just, WHY? I interpret their relationship as ultimately very tragic. I believe she had good intentions and did really love him, in her eldritch way, and it just goes so badly.

A BROTP A Gen relationship: Daeron. [put this explanation under a cut because it got a bit long - how shocking]

A NOTP A rarepairing: Eöl. I have this one cracky theory that she met Eöl before she met Thingol and it didn't work out. An unrequited situation would be interesting here also.

A random headcanon: I think she feels a lot of guilt for her unique 'intervention' in the affairs of the Children largely failing. Also I think the starry ceiling of Menelrond changes based on what's going on in her mind.

General Opinion: I find her the most sympathetic of the Ainur, whom I tend to side-eye quite intensely. [Also putting the rest of this below the cut].

A BROTP A Gen relationship: Daeron. Because:

... there were none more beautiful than Melian, nor more wise, nor more skilled in songs of enchantment. It is told that the Valar would leave their works, and the birds of Valinor their mirth, that the bells of Valmar were silent and the fountains ceased to flow, when at the mingling of the lights Melian sang in Lorien. (Of Thingol and Melian)

and although [the Sindar] were Moriquendi, under the lordship of Thingol and the teaching of Melian they became the fairest and the most wise and skilful of all the Elves of Middle-earth. (Of the Sindar)

[Daeron] it was that made music for the dance and song of Luthien, before Beren came to Doriath; and he had loved her, and set all his thought of her in his music. He became the greatest of all the minstrels of the Elves east of the Sea, named even before Maglor son of Feanor. (Of Beren and Luthien)

I know the implication of the last is that Daeron became great because of his love for Lúthien (I want to talk about this so bad right now but focus!) but I think it's no coincidence that the greatest elf minstrel ever had the goddess of song for a queen.

I have written their relationship as a complicated mentor-student type of thing with a maternal figure flavouring. My hc is that he's a bit of a prodigy from birth but Melian picks him out when she first shows up with Thingol. She takes him under her wing and turns him into a supercharged Song-wielder. More supercharged, perhaps, than a poor Child of Eru can handle. Oops?

General Opinion: I love how she interacts with the Children in a totally unique and intimate way; I love that she messes up; I love that she is the only Ainu to procreate (excluding Ungoliant maybe) and the tragedy of a being older than Arda, who will exist beyond Arda, losing her child; I love that she holds it down in Beleriand, defying Morgoth's power, through the whole First Age while all the other Ainur are, at best, sending dreams on streams and, at worst, binge-watching the Doom of the Noldor from on high.

Oh! And I love the stuff in NoMe about her being the leader of the guardians sent to Cuiviénen - the others being the Maiar who would later be the Istari (!!). I think it says a lot about how Tolkien saw her character that he gives her that role. Melian and Olórin would be another amazing relationship to explore.

[lullaebies]

About Aemond he is dangerously becoming a Gary stu need someone to remind Ryan that there are other green characters who exist beside Aemond

Rather than becoming a Gary Stu there is just a layer of favoritisim with him. Aemond is not perfect by any means, he just clearly the character Ryan wants to explore more and the character that Ryan is more sincerely willing to bestow the morally ambigious title on (I am speaking only of what the show has presented so far - later on war crimes will be war criming and most characters will lean morally black). It's just a shame he is the only one of his siblings that really gets that extra input on him while the rest of them are eating dust in good faith exploration of their characters (....or they just simply don't exist yet. poor Daeron.) There were efforts in the writing for Aemond and Alicent (or at the very least attempts), it just sucks that we don't really see those extentded to Aegon, Helaena, Daeron, Larys, maybe Tyland.. you know, those who would also will be big parts of the story in the longrun.

[undercat-overdog]

Elwing and Celebrimbor for the for the character asks?

Did Elwing already, so Celebrimbor! @feanorianethicsdepartment asked for him too! 

How I feel about this character

Um, my favorite. No, I really love him. Like Elwing, it was the cinematics that originally made him stick out (the banner and St Sebastian imagery - interesting that he may be the only true martyr figure in Tolkien? I can't think of another one.)

He's fairly unusual as a Tolkien character in that he explicitly wants to make the world a better place; most of the heroes (and antiheroes) are people who fight against the darkness to try to keep the world from becoming worse. Some of that is likely just a function of the time period when he was an active character, but that curiosity and skill and ambition melded with a vision that is genuinely good is appealing. (Which is not to say that his vision is without its weaknesses and faults, but the love of the world, the desire to heal it, is absolutely there.)

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Celebrimbor/Sauron is my OTP. Shadows of Mordor opened me to the potential that is silvergifting, and I immediately opened up ao3 and here I am, writing porn about the Lord of the Rings and the guy he tortured to death.

(Quick review of that game: it is lorelol - no, like it would be difficult to make the lore worse - and the four fridgings are overmuch. But the game play is fun and it is astonishingly shippy - Sauron's one and only motivation is to get Celebrimbor to come back to him. Seriously.)

Fond of him with Celeborn/Galadriel too (unsolicited fic rec).

Some day I will manifest Annatar/Celebrimbor/Galadriel into existence.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Celebrían! I headcanon that it was her, not Celeborn, that stayed in Eregion when Galadriel left (and, uh, given her and Celebrimbor's diplomatic talents, they were damn lucky that Annatar was there...) and that they reconnected in Valinor.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Hmmm. I'm not sure I have any truly unpopular opinions? Though I am very definitely on the "Celebrimbor wasn't an idiot" side and I think that welcoming Sauron and making the Rings genuinely was the best timeline - it was Sauron's poor life choices that made everything go terribly wrong, not Celebrimbor's (well, ok, best timeline is Sauron not failing his repentance, but that's on him). (Also, fucking Sauron is not actually the worst life choice a Finwean has made and isn't that saying a lot.)

Otherwise, I don't go for the born in Valinor version and I most definitely do not go for one big happy Feanorian family. My personal backstory is that he didn't know his non-Celegorm and Huan uncles well - I'm not sure he even met Amras and Amrod - and that he and Maedhros did not get along and that there's no love lost on Celebrimbor's side. General backstory is that he renounced his Noldorin heritage, not just the Feanorian one, after Nargothrond (or Doriath) and went around calling himself a Sinda and Penadar. Reconciled with it over the first few centuries of the 2nd Age.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

As usual, I'm happy with the canon story. This is partly because I am very good at imagining post-canon happy endings and am writing one right now. I view it as very decidedly post-canon and not at all an AU.

I would like to know how and when he attached himself to Galadriel and Celeborn. He's associated strongly with them in all the different backstories and, at least before Annatar shows up, said to be a friend of theirs, though it seems to go south. I go with very early 2nd Age, and I think the politics of Gil-Galad/Círdan/Elrond on one pole and Galadriel/Celeborn/Celebrimbor on another are interesting.

I'd also be interested in explorations of Tolkien's different backgrounds. Like, how the heck does "descendent of Daeron" work. (Presumably even more of a dwarven connection, and I like the non-craft scholarship it brings to him.)

[moonlitgleek]

In regards to Rhaegar and Jaehaerys II, your argument is essentially that the ends do not justify the means, which is why you bring up Ned fighting for Daenaerys' life. How do you then explain GRRM's hard-on for Bloodraven? His entire history is the "ends justify the means," which is why he murdered his nephew in cold blood and instead of truly being punished, he gains superpowers and then gets to become king via Bran (as it has been confirmed that Bran becoming king was GRRM's idea).

We clearly have very different opinions on Bloodraven’s story because I certainly don’t view it as any kind of validation or personal victory. Brynden Rivers went from Hand of the King and the de factor ruler during the reign of Aerys I to being sentenced to the Wall for a crime, losing his position, power, freedom and the woman he loved in one go. He was punished for what he has done, whether that’s being sent to the Wall for murdering Aenys Blackfyre or being hated for abandoning vassals to fend for themselves because he was too focused on Bittersteel and the Blackfyres.

Moreover, painting Brynden’s magical powers as some sort of a prize he gained for his actions is a misconstruction. First of all, magical powers aren’t inherently rewarding as poor Daeron the Drunken would tell you. They can be a burden and a curse. I know that some in fandom treat magic as an award to be given to the most worthy and a mark of distinction to denote a character’s specialness, but magic is not tied to morality or integrity in ASOIAF. Indeed this is a story where Euron Greyjoy is one of the flashiest magic users in the story and he is an absolute horror. Magic is generally not treated as a reward within the story but more of a struggle. Look at Bran Stark. Look at the Ghost of Hight Heart. Look at Daeron the Drunken and Daemon the Dreamer. How much did any of them enjoy their magical powers? How much is Brynden enjoying his? The guy has turned into a tree.

The sight of him still frightened Bran—the weirwood roots snaking in and out of his withered flesh, the mushrooms sprouting from his cheeks, the white wooden worm that grew from the socket where one eye had been. He liked it better when the torches were put out. In the dark he could pretend that it was the three-eyed crow who whispered to him and not some grisly talking corpse.       

One day I will be like him. The thought filled Bran with dread. Bad enough that he was broken, with his useless legs. Was he doomed to lose the rest too, to spend all of his years with a weirwood growing in him and through him? Lord Brynden drew his life from the tree, Leaf told them. He did not eat, he did not drink. He slept, he dreamed, he watched.

This is the Brynden we meet in ADWD, the one with the superpowers.This is not a triumph, it’s a horrifying fate. Brynden is no longer a person but a magical vessel. His memory, his personality, everything that makes him Brynden Rivers has faded, substituted by his function as a greenseer and a mentor waiting so long for the last greenseer, withering and fading and growing weaker as the years flew by - a mentor that will die, that has to die for Bran to come fully into his own. Bloodraven isn’t becoming a king via Bran because very little of the real Bloodraven’s consciousness still exists and even that part will eventually go into the weirwood network to join the rest of the singers as Bran takes his mantle.

So yes, Brynden did operate on the notion that the ends justify the means but where did it get him? As Hand, he was so focused on the Bittersteel and Blackfyres that he had the crown abandon its feudal obligations towards its vassals which not only played a role in stoking the dissatisfaction with the Targaryen dynasty but weakened the legitimacy of the same monarchy he was trying to defend. As a greenseer, he may have empowered a madman like Euron in hopes that he’d be able to help in the fight against the Others, except Euron is working against humanity and will probably be the one to unleash the Others on the realm. So the story isn’t validating Brynden’s philosophy, it’s showing a pattern where his ends are constantly jeopardized by his unworthy means.

[mytsitsini]

“In Defence of Rhaegar Targaryen”

AKA some really annoying claims concerning a certain Targaryen I want to address.

“What Rhaegar did at Harrenhal was dickish, but it’s very important that we don’t know Elia’s reaction, because GRRM will reveal that she was actually OK with it”

Ned Stark himself says that:

Ned remembered the moment when all the smiles died, when Prince Rhaegar Targaryen urged his horse past his own wife, the Dornish princess Elia Martell, to lay the queen of beauty's laurel in Lyanna's lap.

‘All smiles died’. All. If Elia Martell, Rhaegar’s own wife, is not included in ‘alll’, Ned would have made sure to mention it - it would be beyond odd for the wife of the prince not to feel insulted. People would speculate. People would question it. Ned himself mentions Elia in this very passage, so why would he not mark her reaction, had it been different to that of everyone else? Because her smile died, like everyone else’s.

And if that’s too vague, then there is this piece from The World of Ice and Fire, depicting Harrenhal:

Created by artist Paolo Puggioni. From his official website:

We’ve always imagined that the perfect image of the tourney at Harrenhal would kind of let you pick out all these figures in the stands, each with their different reactions when ‘the smiles died’. Jon Arryn and Robert and Lord Hunter joking a moment before what was happening dawned on them, Ned watching as Rhaegar was about to stop in front of his sister (who must have been seated quite close), mad Aerys glowering in the distance, Elia stiff-backed and trying to act as if nothing was wrong, Jon Connington probably looking vaguely sad (read: jealous), and so on.  

‘Stiff-backed and trying to act as if nothing was wrong’ hardly reads as ‘Elia was OK with Rhaegar crowning Lyanna’.

Not to mention that no woman would ever be OK with her husband publicly humiliating her in favour of another woman, so why does this argument even exist? Elia’s reaction should not be questioned at all.

“It was an arranged marriage, why shouldn’t Rhaegar be allowed to follow his heart?”

It was arranged for Elia as well. She didn’t want this any more than Rhaegar did. She was never but a faithful wife, so it’s only natural to expect that Rhaegar would be the same. Rhaegar isn’t entitled to anything. Rhaegar’s feelind do not matter more than politics. Rhaegar’s needs are not more important than Elia’s, and seeing how Rhaegar’s trouser’s needs sparked a war that costed Elia, Aegon and Rhaenys their lives, Rhaegar’s feelings definitely do not matter more than his family’s lives. Elia died. Aegon died. Rhaenys died. Rhaella died. Viserys had to leave the only home he had even known. Daenerys never had a home.

As a husband, as a father, it was Rhaegar’s responsibility to care for his wife and children, to stay with them, not to abandon them the moment his eyes caught a fourteen-year-old girl.

In her marriage, Elia had to:

marry a man she didn’t love.

abandon her home in Dorne and move to foreign King’s Landing.

live in a place openly hostile to her (”She smells Dornish”).

be sure her body was available to her husband whenever he wished, since the concept of marital rape does not exist.

bear as many heirs as needed, despite her fragile health.

simply accept it if Rhaegar were to take a mistress.

In his marriage, Rhaegar had to:

marry a woman he didn’t love.

So, who exactly got the short end of the stick? Elia. Who does the fandom act like he was the true victim? Rhaegar.

“Elia could not have any more children, so it’s very natural that Rhaegar would leave her for someone who could give him the third head”

Of all stuff I’ve heard, this angers me the most, because it boils down to ‘women’s sole fuction is baby-making, and if they break down, men have the right to replace them as if they’re machines’. Which is misogyny, plain and simple. Treating women as nothing else but means to further men’s causes and ambitions is misogyny. A woman’s worth is not measured by her ability to have children and make her husband happy! A woman is not meant to be exploited like a lifeless object and then put aside when a newer, better oner comes along.

Elia was not a baby-making machine. Elia was a human with feelings and emotions of her own, not a body to be used by Rhaegar and then to be thrown out when no longer useful. Westeros is a misogynistic society, but we, as readers, are meant to question the sexism, not endorse it, as people who use the ‘Elia is barren’ argument do.

Other things that Westerosi men are perfectly fine with include:

Girls having children as early as 13.

Women being legally raped by their husbands.

Low-born people being treated like shit by the highborn.

Women obeying either their husbands or fathers unconditionally.

Bastards being perceived as treacherous and untrustworthy.

Are we meant to agree with Westeros? No, we are not. We are meant to challenge those views. And this includes Elia being nothing more than a body to produce heirs for Rhaegar. Funny how those who bring up Elia’s inability to have children neglect to mention that women are also supposed to obey their fathers, but they rarely give Lyanna grief for disobeying Rickard in regards to marrying Robert Baratheon, and that bastards are vermin, yet adore Jon Snow. 

Also, the argument feels really hollow when one remembers that Lyanna was a virgin before she met Rhaegar, which means that if Rhaegar was out there to find a fertile wife, choosing a girl who could as likely be an Alysanne as a second Elia was a poor choice. Lyanna did not have children prior, so how could have Rhaegar been so sure she’d give him the child Elia coudln’t? Considering how Lyanna died in childbirth (while Elia survived two childbirths), Lyanna is not, at the end of the day, in anyway superior to Elia.

This argument is sexist. This argument is ableist. Women, people, are not less worthy because of a body disability. Elia’s fragile health does not make her any less deserving of respect from her own husband.

Also, no, it’s not natural to go after another woman if your wife’s barren? It just does not happen.

Aemma Arryn managed to give King Viserys I Targaryen just one daughter, Rhaenyra, in more than a decade of marriage. Viserys never abandons her for another woman, and only marries Alicent Hightower after she’s dead.

Naerys Targaryen never managed to give King Aegon IV Targaryen another son after Daeron II was born. He never had another wife, not even after she died.

Rhaella Targaryen gave King Aerys II Targaryen just one son, Rhaegar, and it would take seventeen years before she’d give birth to Viserys. Still, Aerys II never tried to marry another woman.

Aerys II and Aegon IV were two infamously bad men and kings who abused their wives and kingdoms. Still, despite their need for an heir, they never persued other women. Both men disliked their sons, unlike Rhaegar, so they had an even greater reason to want another possible heir than he ever did. Bad as they were, they realised that polygamy was not a good solution to anything.

A man who did practise polygamy because of need ot an heir was Maegor I Targaryen. The Cruel. Who killed his wives. And who brought six years of tyranny to Westeros. Maegor is not a character to make parallels with, and yet his example is the closest to Rhaegar’s.

Elia had given Rhaegar an heir and a spare (yes, Rhaenys was the spare. No, Great Council 101′s decision not withstanding, since Aerys I was able to make his niece Aelora his heir ahead of men like Maekar, Daeron and Aerion. Yes, women could inherit the Iron Throne). They also had Viserys, just in case. Rhaegar leaving Elia because of lack of heirs is not a valid reason, and the third head of the dragon is even less of a reason, considering how Rhaegar had already misinterpreted the prophecy already. Abandoning his wife because his new interpretation could be kinda right, maybe, is likewise not a good enough reason. 

“Elia let or even encouraged Rhaegar to go after Lyanna”

Most women, in Westeros as well as modern society, would not be OK with their husbands cheating on them, so how is Elia any different?

“She’s Dornish!”

No, not this argument again.

The Dornish practise feudalism like everyone else, and they are not polyamorous.

Why does this stereotype exist again? Ah yes, Oberyn. People take Oberyn’s example and apply it to the whole of Dorne. Even thought as for now, there’s not a single known Dornish character who had a wife and a mistress at the same time. But even if there were, so what? Rhaegar is not Dornish. Rhaegar does not get to use Elia’s culture against her.

Meanwhile, Oberyn was a second son, with an older brother with heirs of his own. Oberyn did not need to get married. Oberyn did not need to father legitimate children. Doran Martell’s been estranged from his wife for years, still does not take a mistress. Quentyn Martell died a virgin. Why aren’t their examples applied to the whole of Dorne?

“Well, Ellaria’s in an open relationship with Oberyn!”

Ellaria’s example cannot be applied to Elia, no more than Oberyn’s can. Ellaria is a bastard, Elia was a noble woman. Ellaria is a second son’s paramour, Elia was the future king’s wife. Ellaria’s children were bastards, and the younger ones too, standing to inherit nothing. Elia’s children were second and third in line of succession.

We definitely know that Oberyn got Ellaria’s consent. Rhaegar did not get Elia’s.

Even if we remove Dornish culture from the argument, why would Elia ever be OK with Rhaegar taking a second wife? OK with Rhaegar fathering legitimate heirs on another woman? Elia is married to House Targaryen. When it comes to the Targaryen, younger half siblings have always caused trouble for their older half siblings.

Aenys I and Maegor I: Maegor gives Aenys a lot of grief by taking a second wife (which angers the Faith), and after Aenys dies, kills two of Aenys’s sons and seizes the throne.

Rhaenyra and Aegon II: Although Viserys I made it crystal clear that Rhaenyra was to succeed him, Aegon II took the crown anyway and fought a war against his sister.

Daeron II and Daemon Blackfyre: Daeron II was seventeen years older than Daemon. He was trueborn, Daemon a bastard. Still, this resulted in a war.

Every single case of half siblings has seen the younger one usurping/trying to usurp the older one. Every single one. Why would Elia think this would be different? Why would Elia trust Lyanna not to push her own son’s rights? What if the case of Daeron II and Daemon is repeated? If Aegon grows up to be bookish and non-martial, and Lyanna’s son is the Warrior reborn, people will undoubtedly whisper that the younger son is much more fit to inherit a crown than Elia’s Aegon. What then? Lyanna will have the North to support her son’s rights, as well as everyone who prefers a martial king (read: around half of Westerosi people). And the Riverlands, since her brother will be married to a Tully of Riverrun. And the Vale of Arryn, since her other brother has been fostered by the Arryns. And maybe the Stormlands, since that same brother’s best friend is the Lord of Storm’s End. And maybe even the Reach, since the Tyrells are traditionally anti-Dornish. The Westerlands and the Iron Islands cannot be counted upon to help Elia’s cause, either. That only leaves Dorne, the least populated region.

Why would Elia ever risk her son’s rights like that? For a reason that isn’t basically “Rhaegar and Lyanna need to be happy and not be bothered over  feelings of guilt”? We see Catelyn treating Jon as a threat, because technically he is, to her children’s inheritance rights. We see Cersei igniting a war in order to keep her own bloodline on the Throne. Why would Elia be any different?

So, no. Rhaegar was not morally allowed to leave Elia because he didn’t love her or because she couldn’t have any more children, nor was Elia fine with him taking a fourteen-year-old girl to wife. This argument needs to die. Rhaegar fucked up when it came to Elia, and this is not character hate, or even narrative-twisting to fit my own biases. This is Rhaegar’s character.

“Polygamy is a Targaryen thing, and accepted besides”

There are only three cases of Targaryen polygamy known to us; only one occured after they became kings; Maegor I.

The other one is Aegon I, and no, is not meant to be a parallel. “Aegon I married Visenya out of duty, Rhaenys out of desire” is not the same as “Rhaegar married Elia out of duty, Lyanna out of desire”. Aegon would have to marry Visenya first, then abandon her after three years to elope with Rhaenys, for this to be a proper parallel, which isn’t what happened. Not to mention that the younger son ended up usurping the throne from the older son’s line, which Elia would see as a red flag, not comfort.

The second one is Maegor; couldn’t sire heirs at all, had six wives, killed two or three of them, was a tyrrant, was hated by pretty much everyone. If one’s best example is Maegor, then their cause might not be worthy after all.

From Fire & Blood:

Saera: Why should I have just one husband? The Conqueror had two wives, and Maegor had six or eight.

Jaehaerys I: You would compare yourself to Maegor? Is that who you aspire to be?

Yeah, Maegor’s not a good example.

Also, both Aegon and Maegor had dragons.

Maegor the Cruel has multiple wives, from lines outside his own, so there was and is precedent. However, the extent to which the Targaryen kings could defy convention, the Faith, and the opinions of the other lords decreased markedly after they no longer had dragons. If you have a dragon, you can have as many wives as you want, and people are less likely to object. - So Spake Martin

Rhaegar had none.

[iknownothingihearnothing]

Game of Thrones 8.4 “The Last of the Starks”

I. Am. MAD.

This...this week’s offering right here is an example of an episode I loved and loathed in equal measure. There were lovely moments of--

And then...then there were even more ones of--

Y’all know what I’m talking about. From Brienne’s heartbroken face to that motherfucking Northern stubbornness, to Missandei’s capture and death, to Jon still not knowing enough (he’s so naive), to Euron shooting poor Rhaegal out of the sky, to JON BEING A HORRIBLE WOLF-DADDY!

He just ABANDONED Ghost! Without even a pat goodbye! Even if he had to leave him, he could’ve at least spared a frigging goodbye. Yeah yeah budget blah blah. You couldn’t get an actual big, white, fluffy dog for the few seconds needed for Jon Snow to bid his wolfy buddy who RISKED HIS LIFE for him a proper farewell?! 

I pet my dog and call him a good boy when he gets the ball and goes poop outside. You couldn’t spare more than a “laters, brah” nod to your poor puppy?!

LOOK HOW SAD HE IS!

I want to hug him and kiss him and snuggle him and tell him he’s the goodest boi in the North. Pawning him off to Tormund to live Beyond the Not Wall where he knows no one, what’s the matter with you, Jogon of House Snowaryen?! 

Dany may be leaning a biiiiiit too far into her House Targaryen roots but at least she is a dedicated pet owner. We know she loves her...scale...babies? They have spines, right? Spine babies? Fire babies. 

Ugh, let’s get into this week’s slice of sadness. 

The episode opens with a massive funeral for those that died in the Battle of Winterfell. Including Jorah, Lyanna, Theon, Mr. Edd, and Beric, who is now definitely out of lives.

Dany, crying, leans over Jorah’s prone body, kisses his forehead, and whispers something we’ll never know into his ear.

At least, we’ll never know unless either Emilia or Iain decide to spill the deets. Iain Glen said in a post-ep interview with Entertainment Weekly that it was “something definitely profound”. But who knows, he could be bullshitting us and she actually said “I like muffins” or something and he had to lay there pretending to be dead.

On second thought, she’s English. So perhaps she prefers crumpets. 

Sansa is sniffling over Theon’s body and places a House Stark pin in his shirt. Jon is looking out at this sea of corpses like--

There is no more Ol’ Nighty to bring them back.

Or so we’re led to believe. 

The camera pans across the mourners and we catch a glimpse of our favorite furry friend.

He’s such a good, loyal doggo. Wolfo? Direwolfo. 

Oh Jon I am so MAD AT YOU!

Saving my rage for a bit further down. Barely.

Jon gives a farewell speech about all their dead--they defended the realms of men, no one will ever see their like again, etc. etc.--and then some of the mourners who knew the dead best are given flaming branches in order to set the bodies alight. In the North, they burn their dead. I guess cus the ground is forever frozen and one day someone from House Whyrevr said fuck it and lit his dead grandma on fire. 

Afterwards, they have a joint funeral/”glad we’re alive” party because of course they do. Kinda reminiscent of our shiva except people are sitting on chairs. At the head table, Jon is looking awkwardly at Dany--apparently, that whole “we’re technically related and oh you have a better claim to the throne than me” stuff has lingered beyond fighting for their lives. Damn. Not even surviving Team Undead’s invasion could get them out of that business. 

Elsewhere, Gendry asks the Hound if he’s seen Arya. Does Robert’s bastard have a wee more on his mind than all the death? Like, say, his wee-wee?

Some things never change, no matter what century it is.

Gendry tries to stutter that it’s not about that but the Hound knows it is. Gendry’s alive and the dead are not. Might as well take ASS-vantage of it.

Eh? Eh?

Srsly, this is like the worst party in the history of Westeros. Uh, aside from the Red Wedding (but not the Purple one, #ByeJoflecia). They just buried burnt a heap of their dead, two of their hosts are keeping a huge secret from everyone (and being super weird around each other because of it), and Dany’s endlessly fighting against that frigging Northern hardheadedness. It’s not GREAT, Bob.

Speaking of that famous Northern jackassery, Dany sees an opportunity to crack that stubborn ice as Gendry crosses the party hall. Calling him over, she at first inquires about his parentage, asks him if he knows that Robert Baratheon kinda had her whole family killed and wanted to slaughter her as an infant. Gendry’s like “Whoa, did not know that he was my daddy until after he was dead” and Dany’s all “Yep he dead and so are Renly and Stannis so who’s Lord of Storm’s End?” and no one knows.

This is Dany’s chance to make good.

Not only did Gendry survive the battle, he got laid and made a lord!

You go, Glenn Coco, Gendry Baratheon, Lord of Storm’s End!

Ser Davos, the onion knight (lol) leads the room in a toast to Gendry, the newest Lord on the block.

Don’t be fooled cus he’s now a Lord, he’s still he’s still Gendry from the Forge.

Tyrion remarks that now Gendry will forever be loyal to her and Dany says that he is not the only one that is clever.

Sansa, hearing this, looks at her like bats just sprouted from her head and flew out her ears while her eyes turned red as she chuckled evilly. 

Oh, come on! This is what people in powerful positions on the show do. That’s how they secure allies without, you know, marrying their allies. You want someone’s loyalty, do something for them. Dany’s not the first one to try that. And it’s not like she had Drogon Dracarys the hell out of one of Gendry’s enemies to secure that loyalty. She made him a damn Lord. 

The Starks are annoying me this season. Except when Arya laid the smacketh down on Ol’ Nighty. 

In another corner, Jaime and Brienne are celebrating by gettin’ crunk. She offers a halfassed excuse but Jaime’s all “Dude, we defeated a horde of zombies. Drink up!” and she does, giving him this look:

Bow chicka wowowwwwwwwwwwwwww chicka chicka boom.

Not that I can blame her. Aside from all that incestin’, Jaime’s a fine slice of Kingslayer pie.

Ser Davos of House Onion and Tyrion are talking about Melisandre, who last episode took off her necklace and aged into evaporation. Davos tells Tyrion that he swore to Melisandre he would kill her next time he saw her but he never got the chance, as she did it to herself. Or the Lord of Light took her. Or whatever. They don’t like him much. They fight his war and then he fucks off. 

Tyrion crosses the room to BranBot, who is reading in his wheelchair, which Tyrion calls a clever invention. I keep forgetting that wheelchairs aren’t really a thing in Westeros. 

BranBot, as animated as he’s programmed to be, delights in telling Tyrion that it is reminiscent of the one Daeron Targaryen made for his nephew over a hundred years ago. Just your regular episodic reminder that BranBot is...BranBot. 

Tyrion says BranBot’s BranVision will come in handy as the Lord of Winterfell, which he technically is as Ned Stark’s last surviving “trueborn” son. But BranBot doesn’t want it. BranBot doesn’t really want anything or anyone. He totally just doesn’t care, man.

Tyrion envies BranBot’s ability to not give a shit and and BranBot tells him not to because--

Yes, yes. You’re an “old soul”, BranBot. BranBot calls himself a grandpa in a teenager’s body. He forgets what generation he is and refers to people his own age as “you youngins”. He constantly crows that he is a “proud introvert” who’d rather be reading. We KNOW, BranBot!

Tormund leads a toast (with his awesome tusk cup) to the Dragon Queen and everyone cheers so maybe Dany’s making headway. She herself turns her own toast to Arya, the hero of the Battle of Winterfell. 

Jaime, Brienne, Tyrion, and Pod are playing a Westerosi version of Never Have I Ever with wine and Tormund, a bit drunk off his red ass, is going on and on about how awesome Jon is. Meanwhile, Dany is listening and though she toasts him she knows that she will always be an outsider to these people and they fucking love Jon.

Also, this happened:

“May I have your name?”

“Daenerys Stormborn, the Unburnt, Queen of Meereen, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Mother of Dragons.”

“Okay, that’s Daniellris Shoehorn, the Sunburnt, Keen of Mean Girls, Bean of the Sandals and the Thirsty Hen, Call Sweetie of the Eight Assed Bee, Brother of Wagons. Is that correct?”

“Ugh. Just write Dany.”

“Okay, Fannie.”

The PTB at HBO have since digitally removed The Cup from the episode but wah bro I think they should have kept it in. That’s hilarious. I want to live in a world where Starbucks exists on Game of Thrones. And it survived the battle. Of course House Styrbycks is right around the corner from Winterfell, conveniently situated at the heart of the town square. 

And you better believe there’s a ride-thru for the horseman on the go.

I enjoy how HBO came out with a statement that Dany ordered herbal tea. I can see Dany ordering herbal tea.

In warmer climes, though, she’s definitely a dragon fruit smoothie girl.

Aside: Liam Cunningham recently went on Conan and gifted him The Cup:

He swore it was the actual cup. How is that even possible?! Wouldn’t someone have tossed it after all this time? And the fact that it was still around had to signal to someone on set that a) trolol a person in Consistency fucked up and at least one dude on GoT knew it before the ep aired and b) that Emilia’s discarded latte appearing in a scene would be gold. 

I want to believe it’s legit. I want to believe so hard that it’s the real Cup and that all these circumstances came together to land the Cup in Liam’s hand all this time later. I want to, and so I shall.

(Yes, I know it is not the real Cup but shh I want to BELIEVE!)

So, Dany is watching everyone have fun and be close with each other, especially how everyone seems to love Jon here, and she’s feeling even more like an outsider (and not a bit insecure about her claim to the throne) and she gets up and leaves. Varys starts to follow her with his watchful Varys eyes.

Jaime, Brienne, Podrick, and Tyrion are still playing their game and getting increasingly drunker doing so. Drunker and more giggly. Everything’s all well and good until Tyrion suddenly sits up, looks Brienne in the eye, and accuses her of being a--dun dun dun--virgin. Pod nonchalantly sips his wine.

Brienne clambers out of her seat and mutters that she has to piss. Tormund, also drunk as a skunk, stumbles to their table, celebrating, and asks--

Well? Who did shit in Tormund’s pants?!

It’s kinda awks because Tormund is into Brienne but Brienne has feelings for Jaime and when did GoT become a teen soap opera? It’s like The North 00000 up in here.

Tyrion pours more wine into Tormund’s tusk as Jaime follows Brienne out.

Dramz. Will they? Won’t they? Stay tuned next week!

No, they totally will right now. 

But first, Tormund is going to bitch.

I was cheering for Tormund to win his Big Woman, I really was. But then Jaime showed up and their chemistry just...reignited. 

Tormund expresses sadness until a Northern lady volunteers to take up his time. The Hound continues to drown his sorrows--tho idk what he’s sad about, he’s alive--ignoring even the prospect of sexytimes until Sansa, finally able to make eye contact with the Hound, shares his table. It was a long time ago when she couldn’t even look at him, back when she was just a little bird. But now she’s a dark phoenix (see what I did there? Because Sophie Turner is starring in Dark Phoenix!) risen from the ashes, having had her revenge against her latest torturer/husband, Ramsay Bolton via his own hounds.

None of if would’ve happened if Sansa had left K.L. with the Hound way back when. But Sansa gently squeezes his hand and says that without Ramsay, Littlefinger, and all those assholes, she’d still be that same naive little bird.

Anyone else get the vibe that David and D.B. are kinda...trying to justify what Ramsay did to Sansa here? Just an itty bit? All that’s missing is Sansa belting out Christina Aguilera’s “Fighter”. 

Outside, Arya is practicing her archery skillz when Gendry, the new Lord of Storm’s End, is imbued with way too much enthusiasm after being dubbed by Dany and legit blurts out a proposal to his one night stand right then and there.

Ugh. I can’t wait until my shitty copy of Phhotoshop arrives. Until then I have to use paint shop. Look at those corners! They are making me itch.

Anyway, Arya obvs rejects Gendry’s proposal and it’s d’awww. Gendry is like that guy you hook up with once because he’s hot and afterwards, he won’t stop calling you and texting you and trying to add you as a Facebook friend and messaging you on Twitter suggesting that you fly to Michigan to meet his parents for Thanksgiving. This is something I know nothing about.

Ah, now we’ve circled back to the Jaime and Brienne Show!

That’s if he’s not still obsessed with his siiiiiiiiissssterrrr (she’s a psycho!)

Brienne’s throwing more wood onto yet another hearth (there are a lot of hearths in Winterfell) when Jaime knocks on her door and unceremoniously proclaims that she did not drink when Tyrion accused her of being a V to the gin. He pours her some Dornish red and mutters about it being hot in here; Brienne has learned in the North to always keep a fire going. Jaime has learned in the North that he hates the fucking North. Brienne counters that it grew on her.

Jaime wonders if Tormund Giantsbane also grew on her. He seemed quite sad when she left.

He wants the V-card and the V.

Jaime chuckles awkwardly and begins to pull at the collar of his shirt because “it’s bloody hot in here”. Brienne watches him warily for a second until she gets annoyed and unties the garment herself.

You see where this is going.

First time for Jaime, too. He’s never slept with a knight before.

Has he ever slept with anyone who isn’t his sister before?

Shows how much he cares about Brienne. Letting someone in who isn’t Cersei. That’s a good, non-incestuous step forward, Jaime.

It’s a big moment for Brienne, too, aside from the obvious. She’s had a thing for Jaime for years. This is like that guy you’ve been secretly pining for suddenly realizing he’s totally into it.

In the next scene, Dany confronts a “slightly drunk” Jon, who did not know Ser Jorah very well, but he is pretty sure that if he would’ve chosen a way to die, it would have been protecting Dany. Dany knows Jorah loved her, but she couldn’t love him back--not the way he deserved, not the way she loves Jon.

They kiss and it’s like before Jon ever found out he’s also Aegon until--

“Does Westeros have any support groups for this? Maybe I should ask Ser Jaime.”

Jon wishes that Dany had never told them that they were related and I’m sitting here like--

He would’ve figured it out sooner or later, right? I mean, if he knew he was half Targaryen and all and Rhaegar was his daddy. I understand math is hard but...

Dany tries to forget and sometimes almost succeeds until tonight when she saw all those people gathered around him, looking at him like I’m The Hero! People have looked at her like that before, lots of people, but not here, not on this side of the Narrow Sea. She begs him not to tell anyone of his Targaryen lineage, to swear Samwell and BranBot to secrecy, so that things could go back to how they were before between them. 

But Jon must tell Sansa and Arya because family and nobility and Starkism and all that. And we all know Sansa no likey Dany, despite the fact that HER ARMIES SAVED YOUR NORTHERN ASS.

She begs him some more and he promises that she is his Queen and they can all live together. And they can, if Jon keeps his trap shut.

In Brienne’s quarters, if the animal pelts are a rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’!

Warm enough in there now, Brienne? 

In the War Room--damn, don’t we all aspire to have a War Room?--our favorites are gathered around the Great Table or whatever with a map of Westeros in the center and some old timey Checkers pieces standing in for the two sides’ respective armies. Obvs, the Battle of Winterfell has depleted Dany and Jon’s forces greatly, but they still have enough to wage hell on Cersei. Yara has taken back the Iron Islands in her name, and the Prince of Dorne pledges his support. Still, Cersei has the Golden Company led by Guyliner Greyjoy and the Lannister Army fresh and ready to fight. 

Dany is not appeased. No matter how many noble people declare their fealty to her, while Cersei still sits on the Iron Throne, she can still call herself Queen of the Seven Kingdoms.

Jon, Tyrion, and Varys reassure her with talk of dragons and the people of K.L. having rebelled against their King before. Sansa adds that she wants to give the armies time to recuperate, which is also--

--since they just fought Team Undead and all. But Dany wants to hit up K.L. NOW NOW NOW because the longer they wait, the stronger her enemies become. Or something.

Someone’s starting to lean a wee too far into her Targ roots. It’s just common sense, Dany. Take a chill pill.

But Jon sticks up for his GF. Very sternly, he swears the North will honor its commitments and allegiance to the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms and blah blah blah. 

Dany appears smug.

Silently, Arya and Sansa trade glances like--

Tyrion narrates that Jon will lead the remaining forces up the Kingsroad while a smaller group of them will take a fleet to Dragonstone while the Queen will follow on...dragonback.

Jaime will remain at Winterfell as a guest. 

The camera ticks to Brienne’s expression at the mention of her former crush and new lovah’s name:

She’s trying to outwardly remain passive, but inside--

She’s getting laid and she’s not dead. Those are good times in Westeros.

Dany completes the conference and Arya demands a word with Jon. Outside, Jon is like “We’d all be DEAD if not for her” which is again DUH and Sansa snides “Arya’s the one that killed the Night King”. Arya wouldn’t have had the chance to kill the Night King without Dany’s armies because they’d all be DEAD. Seven Hells, you people are ridiculous. “We don’t trust her, ShE’s nOt OnE oF Us.” That is an absurd reason not to trust someone. I’m from New Jersey. It’d be like me about to be murdered and refusing help from someone because they’re from Florida. Don’t trust her because of her personality not because of where she is from.

And then, like a naive idiot, Jon actually thinks because he swore them to secrecy, Sansa and Arya will for sure totally keep his true lineage behind zipped lips.

This here was one of the scenes that made me roll my eyes so hard, they almost got stuck.

From that, thankfully, GoT moves on to one of my favorite scenes of the episode. Jaime and Tyrion sitting there over drinks gossiping like yentas. Jaime’s giving his younger brother all the deets vis-a-vis his liaison with Brienne. When Tyrion doesn’t say anything snide, Jaime is visibly uncomfortable, and Tyrion claims he’s happy Jaime is happy. 

And--

Tyrion has been waiting for ages to make tall person jokes.

He also wants to know what she’s like “down there”. Jaime calls him a dog.

But then Bronn shows up, finally after Creepy Qyburn hired him to kill Cersei’s “traitorous brothers”, a bit drunk off his ass, brandishing that crossbow. After he smacks Tyrion in the nose, he tells them that Cersei offered him Riverrun, but he knows the Queen is fucked after seeing Dany’s dragons, even with their depleted forces. And Cersei can’t pay up if she’s dead, so...

So Tyrion counters the offer. Highgarden for Riverrun. Bronn would be made Lord of the Reach. It’s certainly open now that House Tyrell has been decimated (RIP Olenna, you ultimate badass). Jaime blanches. How could Tyrion just give him Highgarden? Well hell, it’s better than being dead. 

Jaime doesn’t think Bronn will seriously kill them. Jaime is wrong.

Jaime scoffs Highgarden will never belong to a cuttrhoat but Bronn laughs pish-posh. Isn’t that how all the great Houses started? Kill a few hundred, they make you a Lord. Kill a few thousand, they make you a King?

Tyrion gives Bronn-y his word he’l give him Highgarden as long as they take King’s Landing. Bronn opts out of leading the fight, but wishes the brothers luck with a casual “Don’t die”.

The Hound yells “FFS!” when he meets up with Arya on the Kingsroad. Yep, they’re both goin’ Kings Landing way. Nope, Arya doesn’t really care to hang around, even if she is the hero after knifing that horned fucker. Yes, she probably will abandon the Hound again if he gets hurt.

They both have “unfinished business”. Arya to scratch Cersei off her infamous Kill List. The Hound, presumably, to finally fulfill our fantasy of Clegane Bowl!

Elsewhere, Dany is getting ready to leave the fucking frozen North, petting her dragons. And on this show, that is not a euphemism. One of them, presumably Rhaegal, takes flight.

While Drogon remains with her, that mama’s boy.

On the bridge, Sansa is watching Drogon and Rhaegal lift off, trying to shoot them down with her eyes.

Before he leaves, Tyrion tries to convince her one more time that Daenerys is it, or at least a way better option than Cersei, and he believes in her, her people love her, Jon loves her, etc, and he’d totes appreciate it if they were at least allies, and he turns to leave as the camera pans close on Sansa’s face; she calls him back to spilleth the beans..eth.

Did I win?

As Jon is loading up his Horshon Wagon, Tormund jokes that he’s not riding the dragon down south. Jon laughs that Rhaegal needs a break; he doesn’t need Jon weighing him down.

Tormund says that he has had enough of “the south” and plans to take the Free Folk back Beyond the Not Wall through Castle Black. It’s not home, not where they belong. Or, suddenly, where Ghost belongs either after EIGHT YEARS.

Yeah, this is where I RAGE.

Jon insists the North is no place for a direwolf and asks Tormund to take Ghost with him back Beyond the Not Wall, where he knows no one, will be lonely, and have to contend with even colder weather than what he’s used to. Tormund tells Jon that he has the “real” North running through his veins and “maybe” they’ll meet again before he departs and Jon goes to HUG EVERYONE. 

ALMOST.

RAGE! RAGE AGAINST THE JONCHINE!

I know, I know working with the CGI wolves is ExPeNsIvE, blah blah. I DON’T CARE. There are dragons that spit actual fire on this show. Y’all couldn’t substitute a real big, white, fluffy doggie so Jon could bid his furry friend a real goodbye?! This was the saddest scene in GoT history. Forget Ned’s beheading or even the Red Wedding. This right here is inhuman.

The episode’s director, David Nutter, tried to defend himself, weakly, by insisting he thought this way was more powerful. He obviously does not own dogs. Or any pets of any kind. He did not anticipate how much we all love our furry friends. As soon as the episode aired, Twitter lit up with #GhostDeservedBetter. Poor Ghostie. He lost an ear for you! You’re leaving forever. I snuggle my dogs when I just leave to go to the bathroom. I shall honor Ghost here, First of His Name, Protector of the Realms of Men, the One Eared and the White Furred, Warden of the North. Or at least Warden of the Woof. 

I had to watch this portion a few times to get the right screenshots so now I must go snuggle my own doggies. And tell them they are my own little direwoofies and I will never ever leave them. Especially for King’s Landing.

Jon “I’m the worst Wolf Daddy in Westeros” Snow rides off and Sam, Gilly, Tormund, and Ghost watch him go, even after his owner slighted him, because he is the goodest boi on the continent.

On the way to Dragonstone, Tyrion has immediately spilled to Varys because let’s be honest: Jon’s true parentage was always going to stay a secret for about, meh, an hour? And now eight people know--Jon, Dany, Sansa, Arya, Tyrion, Varys, Sam, and BranBot. Which makes it less a secret and more info. If the internetz had existed back then, the whole of Twitter would’ve known within fifteen minutes. #JongonSnowgaryen would trend worldwide. Westeroswide? 

I need to start following The_Mastr. 

People like Jon. They follow Jon (even tho he’s a terrible pet owner). If this were to get out, Dany would lose the North--Winterfell and the Vale. Sansa would see to that. 

Tyrion suggests marrying them and they could rule together. They love each other, but Varys ain’t so sure Jon could ever see beyond that whole “she’s his aunt” thing. And Dany doesn’t like to have her authority questioned. Then Tyrion cheerfully suggests that Cersei could end up killing them all anyway and that would solve their problems.

And then Guyliner Greyjoy comes out of nowhere and motherfucking shoots down Rhaegal!

I literally gasped “NOOOOOOOOO!” out loud when this happened. My animal-loving heart can only take so much, Game of Thrones. There’s a fan theory that technically we didn’t see Rhaegal die and two somethings appeared in the sky in the trailer for the next episode so he could come back with a vengeance. Please come back with a vengeance, Rhaegal. 

Dany is furious that Captain Maybelline shot her baby and orders Drogon to make a beeline for him. But afraid for her other baby’s life, she turns at the last minute. Euron, annoyed that he only took down one dragon, instead aims for the boat carrying Team Daenerys, which explodes under the force of multiple scorpion arrows. 

All of them swim to shore--all of them, except one. Just before the arrows flew, Grey Worm ordered Missandei to seek refuge on the skiff, and, when we shift to the castle gates, we see Cersei presiding over thousands of innocents who will be caught in the crossfire of war between her and Dany, her child (which she tells Captain Maybellne is his), and a captured Missandei.

In the War Room at Dragonstone--every Great House has a War Room, it seems--our merry band is presiding over a map of King’s Landing where Varys looks Dany in the eye and begs her not to attack the castle. They have Missandei, they killed Rhaegal, yes, but thousands of innocents are held inside the Red Keep, which is Cersei’s modus operandi. Varys pleads with her not to destroy the city she came to save but Dany believes she has a destiny to rid the world of tyrants, and she will fulfill it, no matter the cost.

That sounds vaguely culty, Dany. It wasn’t that long ago you were doing all you could to avoid a battle inside King’s Landing, cus you didn’t wanna destroy the city and the people you were gonna rule over. What happened? Don’t go all Aerys on us.

Tyrion suggests offering Cersei her life in exchange for the throne to avoid carnage. Dany knows Cersei will never go for it, but it’s good for PR, anyway. The people will know that Daenerys Stormborn tried to avoid bloodshed, and Cersei Lannister refused.

Take it back a few, Dany. Just a few, mkay?

At the hearth--there is always a hearth chat going on, and Dragonstone is no exception--Tyrion and Varys are having A Talk. Varys has served many tyrants, and they all talk about destiny and stuff. But, Tyrion negates, Dany has walked through fire and made dragons and lived, maybe she really is destined to rule the Seven Kingdoms. 

Varys considers How To Solve A Problem Like Jon Snow. Who may not be a problem so much as a solution. Who would make a better ruler, Jon or Dany? Varys knows Jon doesn’t wanna rule, which is partly why he bent the knee, but maybe a good ruler would be someone who doesn’t want to rule at all.

And Jon’s a dude, which, in ye olden times, was important. Also why he’s got a tighter claim to the throne than Dany does. They’re talking treason right now. Tyrion accuses Varys of abandoning all of the kings he served under. Varys reaffirms that he will always serve what’s best for the realm and the people, thousands of whom will die if the wrong person sits on the throne. 

Tyrion asks what happens to Dany and Varys gives him a look like “What do you think?” 

At Winterfell, the Northerners are rebuilding while Sansa and Brienne are being all secret-like, talking in whispers and glancing at Jaime. He follows them, having the creeping sensation that they’re talking about something that pertains to him. When he asks what’s up, Brienne tells him that they just got word of Guyliner Greyjoy’s ambush on Dany’s ships, Rhaegal’s death, and Missandei’s capture. 

And another for Jaime Reacting to Bad News screenshots:

BUT what exactly is he reacting to? That Cersei is going to die or that he isn’t going to do it himself?

That night, Jaime is watching Brienne sleep, then creeps outside to pack up his mighty steed to head back to the capital. Too bad Brienne wakes up and catches him. The city is going to be destroyed, they all know this. And Jaime doesn’t have to die alongside Cersei.

Jaime doesn’t think he’s a good man. He pushed a boy out of a window and crippled him for life (which led to him becoming BranBot) for Cersei. He strangled his cousin to get back to Cersei. He would’ve killed every man, woman, and child in Riverrun to get back to Cersei. She’s a monster. And so is Jaime.

And then he leaves and Brienne is heartsick and her POOR FACE. 

THIS EPISODE IS KILLING ME.

But--and I know a lot of other people think this, too--after I wrung my hands a bit, I thought about this moment. I think Jaime’s going back to K.L. to off Cersei himself, leaving Brienne to believe he left because he thinks he doesn’t deserve her. It still SUCKS but it’s less sucky than thinking he’d rather have his twin sister’s V. 

In said capital, the remaining Unsullied and Dothraki forces, along with Dany and her merry men, are lined up outside the gates. Cersei, Pirate von D, and Cersei’s ever lurking zombie Mountain are on the battlements with a chained Missandei. The camera sweeps to show both sides and when did King’s Landing get so FLAT?

Isn’t King’s Landing supposed to be all lush and hilly? What has Cersei done to the place?! This is Dubrovnik, ffs!

Creepy Qyburn comes out of the gates and Tyrion goes to meet him, Hand to Hand. Queen Daenerys demands Cersei’s unconditional surrender and the return of Missandei, unharmed. Queen Cersei demands Daenerys’ unconditional surrender. It’s a stalemate and they’re not getting anywhere so Tyrion tries to appeal to Creepy Qyburn’s logic. They have a chance to prevent bloodshed. To not cause the screams of thousands of children as hellfire is rained down upon them. It’s not a pleasant sound, Qyburn agrees. Alas, he still goes on about Cersei being the one true Queen so Tyrion pushes past him to speak to his sister himself.

Meanwhile, the rest of us are all--

Dany also thinks this is not a good idea.

Some of the Lannister army up on the battlements with Cersei and Co get their bows and arrows ready but as Tyrion approaches, Cersei waves them off with a smug smile. Calling up to her, Tyrion says he knows Cersei doesn’t care about the people of the Seven Kingdoms; they hate her and the feeling’s mutual. 

He mentions her children, her unborn child. How she loved them more than life itself. And just because her reign is over doesn’t mean her life has to end, her her child has to die. 

Just for a moment, one moment, it appears as if his words are getting to her. Cersei takes a deep breath, lets it out shakily. Lena’s acting in this instance is superb. And then, she crosses to Missandei as Dany and Grey Worm race toward the gate in alarm, and murmurs “If you have any last words, now is the time”.

Missandei’s last word?

With her last word, Missandei is telling Dany to fuck it all and burn King’s Landing to the ground.

Cersei gives zombie Mountain the nod to take off Missandei’s head, and poor Grey Worm can’t watch as the undead monster kills his girlfriend.

Dany shakes, turns, and walks away as Cersei smiles triumphantly.

The Mother of Dragons is so done fucking around, y’all.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh this episode was a ride. I wanted to wring SO many necks. Jon Snow, how does it feel to be the villain of the internet? Jaime, you best be headin’ back to K.L. to kill Cersei. Don’t you be breaking Brienne’s heart for nothing. Burn it all down, Dany! #Cleganebowl!

I am EXCITE for the penultimate ep. So EXCITE!

[silentstep]

WIP Tag Meme

List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on: writing, art, gifsets, whatever.

Tagged by @elsajeni (thank you)!  She split hers into “active” and “abandoned,” which I’m... only sort of going to do, because everything aside from The Fic (y’all know the one by now) gets ruthlessly forced to the eternal backburner to languish the second it starts looking like it’d be enough work that it’d interfere with The Fic.  Work/family life/social life/my goddamn brainweasels all interfere hard enough with the fic as it is.

Active WIPs, or: The Fic, The Magnum Opus, The Giant Sprawling Hobbit Fix-It (that @rakshasi-sue says I am not allowed to call a fix-it despite its happy ending due to all the horrible whumpy nonsense I gleefully pile onto the characters in the meantime)

Chapter Seven is happening!  I have no idea yet what chapter seven will actually be about!  Dunlendings with salt mines!  Stonefoots with massive self-contained chemosynthesis-based cave ecoystems!  My ill-advised tendency to let the fact that I personally think dicks are hilarious influence my actual writing!  (I definitely called my local library and asked the poor librarian how the fuck I was supposed to research methods of salt mining in medieval Europe though!  “Is this for school” she asked!  And I had to stutter my way through “nnooo this is for a... uh... a fantasy novel...”!)

chapter 7 is ~5,600 words so far, bringing the fic’s total up to ~263,500 words.  (FINALLY BEATING ORDER OF THE PHOENIX, HAH.)

Not Abandoned, Hopefully Will Not Take Me Much Longer

@setnet asked “POV” for the fic meme so I’m planning to scribble out the dwarven perspective on the Daeron thing (though @setnet, please feel free to request a POV of something else specifically if you’d prefer)

Probably Abandoned, At Least Until The Hobbit Fic Is Done (In Approximately 50 Years At This Rate, Ugh)

a.) Yoda dies fighting Sidious, Obi-Wan takes Luke & Leia and runs away with Dexter Jettster post-Order 66 to raise them as Jedi as best he can on a merchant freighter (meanwhile, Katooni joins the Ohnaka Gang)  (meanwhile, an injured-but-definitely-alive Mace Windu finds his tiny grandpadawan Caleb Dume and they start searching the galaxy for other surviving Jedi while helping the fledgeling Rebellion)

b.) an even-by-my-standards-stunningly self-indulgent fic where Ned Stark receives a whole slew of prophetic dreams (and a dæmon direwolf) the night Aerys murders his father and brother, successfully convinces Jon and Robert that the rebellion should not be about seating someone new on the Iron Throne but rather breaking the kingdoms back into seven, and then rescues Elia and her children ostensibly as bargaining chips to get Lyanna back from her captors (but also because Ned is Ned and Ned thinks killing children is bad to do because hes not a horrible monster)

c.) ah yes, the Damerons

d.) Obi-Wan Leaves The Jedi Over A Misunderstanding; Jedi Apprentice!verse,  could also be titled Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan Talk Past Each Other: The Fic (don’t worry Qui-Gon manages to straighten things out and bring him back but only after a contrivedly long series of adventures that feature truly ridiculous amounts of Missed Him by That Much)

e.) Obi-Wan/Satine year-on-Mandalore (can I even call myself an Obitine shipper if I don’t have at least one of these I mean honestly)

f.) Obi-Wan/Commander Cody, Fake/Pretend Relationship For Purposes of Undercover Work (doylistically it’s also for the excuse to have Obi-Wan wear pretty skirts & show lots of skin)

g.) When Sidious commands Dooku to kill Ventress to prove his loyalty, Dooku agrees to his face then immediately comms Ventress, orders her home RIGHT NOW YOUNG LADY, reveals the whole plot to the Senate, helps the Jedi overthrow Sidious & de-chip the clones, then looks really smug when the Republic agrees to recognise the Confederacy as an independent body and there’s peace in the galaxy and the Jedi aren’t allowed to hunt him down as a Sith because he’s out of their judisdiction now, and in fact they have to stand there next to Republic dignitaries at diplomatic functions between the two political entities and furiously grind their teeth at his existence (meanwhile he hasn’t noticed how much lighter his and Ventress’ auras are slowly getting oops)  (meanwhile Ventress and Obi-Wan keep meeting at these same diplomatic functions and dancing incredible Force-assisted tangoes together (meanwhile in a 20 mile radius of this event bodices ripping men turning bisexual it was amazing the end))

h.) listen unfortunately I’m probably going to write a “while living in the Blue Mnts the Ereboreans encounter a dark-haired Noldo with a very sad, very beautiful voice who’s just wandering up and down the shoreline spilling haunting laments all over the landscape & they eventually get fed up & just kidnap him underground and use sacred hospitality as an excuse to be very stern about one’s need to eat” because please someone take care of my poor precious kinslaying baby

i.) I’m not realistically planning to write this one but.  Stratford Festival did a production of The Changeling by Thomas Middleton and it was very good and the ending was a good ending, it was perfect and cathartic and I am so glad of it but Have You Considered A Version Where The Bad Guys Win, Sincerely, SilentStep

(it’s so easy, listen, when Alcemero locks Joanna in the room and confronts De Flores with his knowledge of the murders right outside, within earshot, De Flores hears enough and then, breathing heavily, shouts Joanna!  Permission!  and there’s a two-and-a-half-second extremely charged silence before she cries Granted! in a voice that nearly breaks-- and De Flores leaps forward and kills Alcemero.  And then the others come in but the two of them don’t even need to discuss their story to get it straight: O, Lord de Piracquo, here is the body of the man who murdered your brother, we are so sorry you could not kill him yourself but when Joanna found Lord Alonzo’s ring in her husband’s medicine-chest and confronted him he threatened her but she had already told De Flores as insurance so he locked her up and tried to kill De Flores intending to kill her afterward but De Flores killed him in self-defense-- oh, right, sure, he had an alibi for the time of the murder, but that was because he’d paid Antonio to actually do the deed & then disappear.

The innocent Tony is put to death.  Jasperino flees in the night.  Tomazo departs with some closure.  And for his services, Joanna manages to suggest in such a way that her father thinks it was his own idea, De Flores gets her hand in marriage.

She turns up pregnant quick enough that rumors start that her son is actually Alcemero’s-- he does resemble De Flores, but it’s hard for people who won’t look past his father’s birthmark to tell.  eventually the kid goes to his mother and asks her, shaky-voiced, if she’s sure he’s his father’s son, what if he’s not, what if he’s really the son of a murderer--

and Joanna goes to her knees and takes his shoulders in her hands and looks him steadily in the eyes and says, low-voiced and sure, An thou wert the son of two murderers, it could not make thee other than thou art, nor would we love thee less.)

I mean uh..................... I have morals

unfortunately I’m... actually unsure who of you guys are writing stuff!  @ravensrising, @setnet, @edgewitch, @rubyredboots, @sandovers, @notbecauseofvictories, come on anyone who writes stuff pls do this meme & pretend I tagged you I want to know what you’re working on

[sansa-hand-of-the-king]

I think one of the biggest misassumptions about GoT is that 'Sansa never loved Jon'. Sansa wasn't as close to Jon as Arya and Robb were, we know that but that doesn't mean she didn't love him. Although she called him half brother, he's still a brother to her and she loved him, just not as openly as the others. I hate it when people say she never loved him

Anon Hi!  First thank you for this ask ( I love getting Got/Asoiaf messages.. please keep them coming!). 

Second, yes I agree. Sansa didnt hate Jon, but she was not close to him. Their relatioship was at best,i would say, “dutiful”. They cared for one another because they had to,not because they were close (like jon and ar*a.)

(that make the marriage for duty a possibility too. They  had to co-exist as half-siblings, they can  learn to love each other as husband and wife. Its the reason why i think ar*a and jon could never work as a couple,  if its a marriage of duty, and we know how Grrm loves those: see Ned and Cat). 

Plus as much as I love Sansa, Grrm stated (and its clear in the text) that she was created to build conflict in the stark family. Of course it doesnt mean she hates the starks, it just mean she wanted out. Sansa wanted the south, with the turneys, the knights and kings landing after dark. She prayed to the Seven and not the old gods, because she find them more pretty and less dull. She lost her wolf. These are important events that shaped who Sansa is. 

These reasons are what makes Sansa SO RELATABLE (to me at least..). She is the impersonification of the saying “you dont understand how important a thing is until you lost it”. She wanted to go away from home, she didnt love the north, Winterfell.

 And NOW, well now she dreams of return to her roots, to re-create that home she lost. To name her future children like the brothers (and sister) that she has lost. Thats what makes Sansa such a good, interesting character. She doesnt start with a  mature personality (like Dany, or Tyrion, Bran or Arya who are great characters of course) she was a naive and spoiled child who regrets her choices and tries to survive with her self and her mistakes.

Sansa is a character who changes the MOST in the books. Not only from the first book when Ned dies, but even from  “A storm of swords” to “ A feast for crows” when we  see how she changes her mind about being a bastard, how she starts to understand how a bastard lives: 

“Lysa will not come alone. Before she arrives, we must be clear on who you are.”   

“Who I… I don’t understand.”   

“Varys has informers everywhere. If Sansa Stark should be seen in the Vale, the eunuch will know within a moon’s turn, and that would create unfortunate… complications. It is not safe to be a Stark just now. So we shall tell Lysa’s people that you are my natural daughter.”   

“Natural?” Sansa was aghast. “You mean, a bastard?”  - Sansa (A storm of swords” 

Here Sansa is upset about the possibility of being a bastard, she considers it  a disgrace (we are talking about a girl who was a lady at three, who since she was born has accepted the rules of Westeros culture). But then in a “Feast for crows” 

“Sansa Stark went up the mountain, but Alayne Stone is coming down … Alayne was an older woman, and bastard brave.”-  Sansa ( A feast for crows) 

Sansa (only a few charapters later) thinks that a bastard is brave.

I love the dinamic of Jon/Sansa ( even as not romantic) because  for me Jon starts the book, with the same mentality as Sansa even though they are at the total opposite Social status. He wanted to prove himself, he wanted to go to the wall and be honorable, like his father Ned, just like Sansa wanted to be a perfect lady, do her duty like her mother Catelyn. But Sansa and Jon are at the opposite social position in Winterfell (the high lady, who is expected to become a queen, and a poor bastard who doesnt have a future).Still they have the same naive dreams of glory and greatness. Both think their life is like the song they loved as children ( look at these quotes…): 

Jon: Daeron Targaryen was only fourteen when he conquered Dorne

.Benjen: A conquest that lasted a summer. Your Boy King lost ten thousand men taking the place, and another fifty trying to hold it. Someone should have told him that war isn’t a game- Jon snow I  “A game of thrones” 

Jon idolized tragic heroes like Daeron, just like Sansaromanticizes life:  

When the Knight of Flowers had spoken up, she’d been sure she was about to see one of Old Nan’s stories come to life…..

Lord Baelish stroked his little pointed beard and said, “Nothing? Tell me, child, why would you have sent Ser Loras?”Sansa had no choice but to explain about heroes and monsters. The king’s councillor smiled.

 "Well, those are not the reasons I’d have given, but … “ He had touched her cheek, his thumb lightly tracing the line of a cheekbone. ”Life is not a song, sweetling. You may learn that one day to your sorrow.“- Sansa III “A game of thrones”. 

Both learn that lesson is a hard way. And Grrm is putting them in their respective shoes. Jon is learning the responsibility of being in high position as Lord commander, while Sansa is a bastard. Jon is offered Winterfell by stannis, while Sansa is accused by her aunt of being a beggar. Robb makes Jon is heir, putting him ahead of Sansa. This in not concidences, this is Grrm making Sansa understand what Jon endured all his life, and doing the same thing for Jon. They even have similar chapters in the books ( Sansa A feast for crows chapter when she is coming down the mountain, has parallels with jon chapter in a storm of swords when he climbs the wall. In fact in that case not only Jon is mentioned but she hears a ghost wolf, big as mountains….).

So in conclusion Jon and Sansa are not close but they respected one another presence and dont have a troubling relationship at all. Still how they journeys parallel one another is fascinating (even not for a romantic end.game, which is my guess if both survive …) and i cant wait for the reunion (that i can bet will be the first Stark reunion in the books..like its 1000000% sure).

[theculturalvacuum]

A Storm of Fan-Fic Asks Round-Up!

This is the last of the bunch that I’ve been hoarding. What we learned is that this story doesn’t have enough characters and that their relationships aren’t complex enough.

The next chapter is going to be a long one so, like, don’t hold your breath. (I promise it’ll be worth it?)

The Story: A Wedding in Sunspear

Anonymous said:

Lovin the tales you are spinnin My Lady, one little ask, why does Ormond never mention his mother when he asks about his sister and Clarion? Did she die? Run away to spouse island? Went home? Gone native and living with a paramour? Been fridged?

I mean, having one parent be mysteriously non-existent is kind of a Martin-esque tradition when it comes to Dorne… I don’t think she’s dead. Her name isn’t grey on the family tree. She may be like Senna on Project Voicebend, except she never asserts that she is also there?

I doubt Edgar pays her much attention, and the kids take their cues from him.

Anonymous said:

Wow, Daeron is a dick, but very realistic. Especially with all his privilege and probably no one ever telling him the truth. Even Jeremy probably still sugar coats things to him, given their situation and the massive difference in rank. Also for Daeron all the love matches around him he probably makes him think he deserves a bite of that pie too. Everyone else in his family broke engagements why shouldn't he. Maybe he didn't want to be left out of that club.

Daeron is, indeed, a dick.

Like, Jeremy deserves so much fucking better. Any decent thing Daeron has ever done was only because Jerry was there having a positive influence. What does he see in the spoiled dickhead?

Sorry, sometimes I forget that I made up this relationship dynamic and it makes me angry.

Anonymous said:

Are you sure you didn't get the lineages wrong with Deneza and Joleta. The one without the Martell Mama is the one who seems much more Martell (or at least the devotion of job and duty) and the one with the Martell Mama seems to embrace the Martell special status she gets from it but not take on any of the duty aspects.

Ha. Maybe that’s Joleta’s Gargalen side? I have no clue. They’re certainly more chill than Martells.

Deneza’s job is kind of a big deal. And this wedding is the biggest thing she done. Joleta is kind of being a jerk.

Anonymous said:

What's the coat of arms of House Laq? I'm guessing it's got light green on it somewhere, considering Kylie's family tree

Yes, it’s a light green field with a grey stone watchtower. Their words are “Our Ground Remains Firm”. Because, like, they live in a river valley in the middle of a desert that floods seasonally, like the Nile, so the literal ground isn’t so firm, by they are. Because they’re so steadfast and junk.

Yeah.

Anonymous said:

Well now I have to know more specifics So what fruits is Deneza into? Dates? Berries? Apples? Figs? Pomegranates? Apricots? Or is she a junk food dornish style kind of gal who? Is she secretly into dornish eggs? The ones that don't exist like spaghetti Bolognese doesn't but weirdly she likes this northern appropriation of what they think is a dornish dish.

She likes persimmons, because they’re the best and she has good taste.

She thinks all those northern “Dornish” dishes that they think are spicey but totally are not are adorable.

Anonymous said:

I feel like the big thing that's coming is dany and maron fucking in the middle of a feast or something. Am I close?

Omg. No comment.

Anonymous said:

Is Simon Leygood the indebted Simon who tried for Rohanne's hand? Or is he another Simon? Lets hope Lady Blackmont keeps him away from money if he's the same guy.

No, that dude would be, like 100 years old by now. Those Leygoods have family names, I guess.

Anonymous said:

Will we hear a bit more about how Owain is coping in Dorne in the upcoming chapters? I wonder if in the future he'll go native. His life will be interesting and a bit freer. He's there with his cousin who is going to be the consort of the Princess of Dorne and he's staying there so he'll be a well connected match for a lady of Dorne who wants to be closer connected to the Princely house. He seems quite easy going, Dorne might agree with him. Plus he's under miles less pressure than Eliott

Well, he’s Eliott’s BFF, so he’ll be around for sure.

I’m sorry, but anything like the phrase “Dorne agrees with me” just reminds me of Madison and her stupid slutty dress. Maybe Owain will start wearing a bathrobe of sex appeal?

JK, he doesn’t wear a sword on dates either.

To be honest, I haven’t given much thought to Owain’s future, maybe he’ll hook up with Alyse Ladybright. She would see all the social climbing implications that you mentioned.

Anonymous said:

Daenella is the best. Kind of nice to see a sort of somewhat anti-martell who doesn't take her responsibilities so seriously. I'm sure those poor smallfolk where she is were delighted when she came thinking that they'd get answers to their questions and then action and now they're probably sitting around wondering if they could exchange their martell for another one

Aw, poor smallfolk.

I wouldn’t call her an anti-Martell, though. Her ability to flit around doing whatever is just the other side of the privilege coin as Loree and her tyrannical tendencies.  

Anonymous said:

Yay, was cool seeing a bit more the bigger non POV characters again like Joleta and Rhona. Rhona is a superstar, she not only gets all the shit done, knows everyones name, now she's lost her bed as well. I'm glad she seems to have job satisfaction though, lol, she has a fantastic position at court in the ear of the future ruling Princess a job she'll likely have for a long while is the grooming to take over goes well, I'm sure losing her bed for a little bit is no huge price to pay

Yeah, Rhona has a pretty plum gig. And she’s good at her job and everyone knows it. I think her brand of administrative competence is admired the same way that martial abilities in men are admired. It’s the same reason Deneza is thought to be such a badass, for example.

It’s kind of a bizarre world where you can parlay a job helping a lady put on her jewelry into one collecting taxes or whatever, isn’t it?

Anonymous said:

Poor Genna that must have all been very unpleasant. I don't thik she expected that to happen probably a dornish guy wouldn't have bragged in the same way or at least not in that particular setting, plus the dynamic would have been different with a dornish guy. don't think she was quite prepared for this mess at all, nice to see her with Gallwel though, although he's a younger brother so that's probably a different kind of dynamic than one where Maron sees her as a younger sister to protect.

Yeah, Genna might have the Martell lack of perfect judgement when it comes to sexual partners, but she wouldn’t have done it if she knew that would happen. And gender roles still exist, so most women would think they need a bro to punch dudes in the face.

Anonymous said:

What do you mean you hope Joleta and Deneza don't hit any rough patches, you naughty author!!!!!! You are the boss of them don't let them control you, you tell them to behave and play nice and be together and happy forever. Thank god there isn't any bullets in this world or else you know exactly who those damn things will be attracted to like magnets. Thankfully lesbians seem to have less issues with arrows.

You know, relationships are hard.

I’m not saying arrows will be involved, but there will be exactly one death in this story.

Anonymous said: How widely known is it that Arion is Genna Sand's father? Maron, Dany, and Genna herself all seem to know, as does Ariandra Fowler (who seems to think it's her duty to know everyone's business). Is it one of those things that almost everybody knows, but it's considered rude to talk about?

Dude, everyone knows. It’s officially just a rumour, but it was obvious from day One.

Anonymous said:

How do you imagine Ormond and Olyvar Sand's relationship? Ormond squired for Olyvar and was knighted by him, but he seems to have a closer relationship with Rhod than Olyvar. Speaking of Ormond, do you see him a foil for Loree? Loree is almost a perfect reflection of her father, while Ormond is quite different from his own father. Is that just a product of being raised at Sunspear/the Water Gardens or would Ormond and Edgar be different even if Ormond were raised at Yronwood?

Yeah, I should put some work in that relationship. Olyvar is kind of intense, so I think Ormond couldn’t really turn to him for that more nurturing father role that he needed, and Rhod is a total softy. But as I said, I’ll put thought into this.

As for Ormond being nothing like Edgar… I suggest rereading “Ormond I”?

Anonymous said:

I'm really enjoying your Rowan's. I was always going to like the Martells because well duh!!, but the Rowans have really got my attention, particularly the two cutie pies of Sarra and Aelora, as well as my main man Adwin. Eliott is fun but I foresee him having a rocky road ahead before he finds any kind of solid ground in Dorne. Corret is like the typical Reach dude who even has his own courtly love story that could be a song. It's good to see them holding their own in the character stakes.

Thank you. Women with patriarchy brain are the most fascinating characters ever, and Corret is a bit of a challenge. It’s really tempting to make him a total asshole, but I have Tybutt for that.

Anonymous said:

I'm strangely positive for virgingate. I feel like Eliott needs to have his bubble properly burst before she can actually get his head around the life and marriage he's going to have. Once he's done that then he can slowly start finding a place in his new world and creating an actual relationship with Loree and learning and embracing soft power and a role he never thought he'd have. But until the bubble truly burst he'll keep clinging to the image in his head of how he thought his life would be

Well, I guess the question is if he’ll be able to get over himself.

Anonymous said:

Okay so I'm sorry, but in a modern au what are the cliche college tropes for your characters? Lewyn is the likeable jock, for instance.

Okay, here we go:

Loreza - the legacy kid who still gets straight As.

Eliott - Soccer player who everyone likes. Very good at beer pong. Secretly came to university to actually learn.

Alyse - the naturally brilliant one who doesn’t need to study.

Horas - Asshole football player who everyone tolerates because football in American universities terrifies me.

Dany - the younger sister who came for a tour and ended up drunk.

Rhona - Obsessed with her resume

Morgan - the younger brother who has all the college sweatshirts and wears them to middle school

Maron - the legacy kid who wouldn’t have gotten in otherwise

Lewyn - the good hearted football player everyone likes

Joleta - the party girl/star of the tennis team

Ormond - Double major in english and history. He didn’t make the team. He’s invited to all the parties but ends up taking care of the drunk people. His dad is in jail for a while collar crime.

Elda - the one who’s in the pictures from all the parties, but is never tagged

Genna - the cool one who also has a tragic backstory

Jeremy - closeted water polo player

Daeron - the fine arts major with blue hair. His thing is graphic design. It’s his passion.

Rolyn - IR major who likes to play frisbee on the lawn of the frat house. Member of the debate team, but he makes it cool.

Eldon - Baseball player who’s fucking a professor. He’s a really good pitcher, but chose college over the farm system. General mensch.

Mariah Florent - the cheerleader that no one finds hot

Olenna - in the marching band.

Ami - the one who you don’t understand how the hell she got into a university in the first place. Oddly devoted to her boring, and much less hot, boyfriend.

Tyia - Scholarship student who studies accounting because she’s sensible. Plays the flute in the orchestra.

Alleza - High school kid who takes college courses for fun.

Alastor - Brilliant history grad student with a substance abuse problem. He’s the TA who shows up shit faced.

Deria - Cool professor, buys the underage students beer.

Artyr - Perfectly adequate polisci grad student overshadowed by his sister.

Deneza - Economics postgrad well into the tenure track. Somehow got herself involved with a student.

Anonymous said:

Maron only likes three people? I'm assuming that means Arion, Morgan and Dany. But he seemed to like Genna well enough. Does he not like his grandfather and mother and aunts, and uncle? Even though one of his aunts and his uncle are so much younger than him, he surely can't dislike those two that much, Devan in particular is only a kid. I can imagine though when he is at Wyl him and Ariandre have an interesting relationship to say the least.

I’m not sure how much Maron like Arion, to tell you the truth. He did kind of, like, abandon him for ten years. His formative years too. And a lot of Arion’s proud papa stuff with him is guilt. (He’s still a Martell, after all.) This is another thing I should actually explore, I think….

But yeah, I meant Dany and his two sibs as the three people. He thinks the rest of his family are okay, I guess, but those are the three people he would actually get off his ass for.

Anonymous said:

My main take away from this new sumptuous chapter was, Deneza works too hard, Joleta feels neglected, probably horny and Deneza feels like Joleta doesn't care about how much pressure she's under right now. Not sure much else happened in this chapter, think there was some guy called Daeron involved in some fuckery but mainly my attention was fully on my OTP of this canon having a domestic. When this is all over Deneza and Joleta need some alone nakey time and a looooooong chat, then more nakey.

You know, if sex could solve all relationship problems like that, I would never have any relationship problems ever. What a world that would be.

But yeah, Joleza are way more interesting that Daeron had his general dickishness.

Anonymous said:

I have no idea what you've got planned (or not planned) for little Ellaria Uller but I hope we get to see her interact with her dad when Corret I around. I just want to see the contrast between them, but also secretly I want Ellaria to be the very clever type who Dylan hopes might one day be a Keeper of a Tower, or another high ranking job. And Corret is just bewildered by it all, and how Dylan is so into the idea of having a clever daughter who will help run Dorne.

I like this idea. She wants to be just like her Aunt Deria when she grows up.

And poor Corret.

Anonymous said:

Besides Daenella, would you describe any of the Martells in your fic as hot Martells? Rhod and all his siblings seem to be pretty cold (even Arion only seems lukewarm) and Loree and Lewyn both seem pretty cold as well. Would Maron and Joleta count as hot Martells because they're half Martell or are the disqualified for not having the Martell name?

Well, the Hot and Cold Martell paradigm is a gross oversimplification of complex personalities. People like neat stories.

That being said, Rhod and Loree are both about as Cold as you can get. But even they both have… moments. Keep reading.

Arion is more than fifty, so he’s mellowed out. In his youth he was as Hot as Oberyn was, even if he never managed to kill any of his dad’s bannermen. Trystana is… not as Cold as she’d like to think. Lewyn is quite lukewarm. Maybe because he’s just a kid or maybe because I haven’t really characterized him all that well.

I don’t think people in Dorne would consider Maron or Joleta Martell enough to have a temperature.

Anonymous said:

Is the lack of Fossoways at the wedding intentional? I'd have thought they'd be all over this situation given their close blood connection to Eliott?

To tell you the truth, I never considered them. This story already has so many characters.

God, this ask round-up is all about my failings as an author isn’t it? If you like you can pretend they’re there in one of the giant retinues, but never do anything worth mentioning.