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#posting a day early bc why the hell not
opalescentidiot · 8 months
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you see the loki one is actually so deep when you think about how he’s french and shit and ratatouille is a french movie (i think idk i somehow never seen it) which is so deep and just says so so much about society and the world around us.
follow me for more thought provoking blue lock memes
main writing blog: @isagikisser
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waterdeepthroat · 7 months
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i know i kinda have a reputation to uphold as an astarionposter but like. he's not even my fav character in bg3...
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hua-fei-hua · 1 year
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*passes out facedown in a puddle of mud with a note in my hand but the only thing the note says when you look at it is just "HAIKYUU" in all caps and underlined eight times*
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liesyousoldme · 1 year
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hey remember how i was like, depressed as fuck yesterday lol i started my period today
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dabideserveslove · 1 year
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I’m very sorry for your loss and hope that you and your family are doing okay. ❤️
Thank you - I really appreciate it <3 and we're doin' okay now <3 it was just a lot all at once bc my youngest had just turned 1, too, when that happened so I wasn't really able to start processing it right away.
#answers for anons#it was weird and ah tw for pregnancy and miscarriage talk in the tags#didnt wanna go into it on the main ask cus idk if you or anyone would even wanna hear about this stuff???#but anyway yeah#it started like late night/early morning before my little one's birthday party#and that was. an experience.#having to just be like 'ohyeah im fine its fine nothings wrong' to everyone#and then excusing myself to the bathroom a million times to handle things#most everyone there didnt know about the pregnancy and the few that did assumed it was morning sickness until i told them later on#couldn't really cancel the party tho cus it was already hell and a half to schedule and get everyone there that we wanted there#and it would be A Lot to try and explain why we had to cancel so last minute to everyone#(...despite my husband's best efforts to convince me otherwise but. like. idk. i just didnt wanna deal with all the questions y'know?)#so the processing stage didnt actually hit until later bc i shoved teh fact that it was even happening so far back in my brain#then it all hit at once like a week and a half later kinda out of nowhere#so that was also fun#luckily i have a great therapist that got me in like same-day#and also a great husband that came home from work early to take care of kiddos#and y'know ive been processing and working it out since then#i might have written some bad poetry and also some fanfiction to help come to terms with it#debating on if iw anna post the fanfic or not#idk if itd be well received or just seem like im looking for attention/sympathy#ehh whatever ill figure it out and i will stop rambling in thet ags now lmao#oops
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pinkys-plan · 2 years
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Getting drunk because sober me thinks he doesn’t need dinner but drunk me knows that nutrition is important and insecurities can suck my cock actually. Literally just feed urself when you need to, I promise it doesn’t make u bad or unworthy. Eat those chicken nuggets. Fuck it, I’m gonna have a salad too. Chicken nugget salad. Some vegetables, some chicken nuggets. A balanced diet. Probably. Who cares. Don’t let your insecurities stop you eating a meal PLEASE 💕💕
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mhahaikyuus · 11 months
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Shelves
tags:; bakugo x reader, established relationship, fluff, reader being type A and so is Bakugo, domestic fluff, minor injury, small arguments, pro hero bakugo x reader, cuddling
a/n: posting this bc i haven’t posted in forever hope you enjoy, reblogs appreciated
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You were sitting in your living room reading a book as your boyfriend came back from an early Saturday shift around mid day to your shared house.
While he was gone you had received a package at your doorstep. Heavy furniture packaged in a big cardboard box at your doorstep.
You had planned for your boyfriend to be home to help you move it two bookshelves for the living room.
However it started to rain and you didn’t want the package to get wet, and you were independent grown woman, you could move a box.
So you spent 30 minutes moving a box about the size of a fridge up a flight of stairs, through your doorway to the living room.
While you were moving it you definitely pulled something in your back. Now laying on your couch your lower back in pain.
Katsuki came home to you laying on the couch and a giant box in your living room. You knew he would cuss you out for hurting yourself when you could’ve called him to move it.
“I’m back y/n-“ He stopped looking at the box bigger than yourself standing in your living room, “The delivery guys put it in the living room.” He interrupted himself assuming wrong.
You hummed in response not wanting to say yes or no.
“Okay I’ll put it together tonight.” He said
Leaning down to kiss you. You met him halfway with a small wince and smiled in that kiss.
“I can do it later, I just want to lay down right now.” You said falling back on the couch.
“No I’m doing it.” He said. He hated how independent you are. Wanting you to rely on him but you never fully could always making excuses.
“Fine.” You sighed. Katsuki leaned down to give you a kiss again and reached around to drag your forward.
You gasped in pain as he held onto your lower back.
“What’s wrong.” He said pulling back quickly with a frown looking at your body. Thinking he had hurt you
“Nothing.” Trying to move his hand but Katsuki wasn’t budging. Vermillion eyes narrowing
“You’re lying.” He said and he pinched your back making you whimper.
“Ow. Ow. Ow. Okay.” You said
“What did you do.” Katsuki asked, his hands on your hips holding you.
“I moved the box… myself.” You admitted and his eyes narrowed.
“What the hell were you thinking? You could’ve called me. That box is bigger than you.” He yelled as you threw back your head at his scolding of you knowing it was because he loves you.
“You had patrol. And I can do it, I am fully capable of doing things by myself
“You could have called me. You know I would’ve come back to move the box.” He said with a frustrated look. “Why didn’t you call me, you never call me. I’m your boyfriend I’m supposed to do it. I’m supposed to open jars for you, move heavy objects, and fix things for you. Let me do it. Now you’re hurt.” He said
“It’s fine I’ll be okay just a couple of days and my back will be fine.” You lied to comfort him.
“Don’t lie to me, how bad does it hurt.” He said concerned
“An 8,”
“Jesus-“
“Calm down.”
“No next time you need something call me or I’m gonna lose it. I don’t care if you don’t feel like walking and you call me to carry you up the stairs. You call me.” Katsuki said. “What kind of boyfriend am I to have you throwing out your back to move something.”
“The kind that saves people for a living and loves me when I do stupid things like hurt my back.” You said with doe eyes you knew that made him melt. Bringing him in by the back of his neck for a kiss.
Pressing his forehead to yours and rubbing his face, his favorite action of yours. Never truly getting mad at you when you loved him.
“Did you call a doctor? You could’ve slipped a disc, or-“
You laughed at how anal he could be. “No I did not, I will be fine in a couple days.”
“How do you know that?” He asked
“I swear you are just as stressed as Izuku.” You said kissing him.
He grumbled rubbing your leg, “Don’t compare me to shitty Deku. I worry because I love you and you are a moron.”
“You’re best friends for a reason, and I am a moron that loves you and I’m going to ask for your help right now.”
Katuski ignored your first comment, “Is that so?”
“Yes because I need you to help me walk to the kitchen. I’m hungry and I’ve been stuck on this couch.”
Katsuki picked you up by your armpits and walked you to the kitchen with your legs wrapped around his waist.
“How was patrol?” You asked
“Great. I love fighting with a bank robber when my girlfriend is injuring herself because she won’t pick up the phone to call me.” He said with an attitude all you could do was roll your eyes.
“How long are you going to be mad at me.” You said tugging on his blonde hair. He grunted at your hands handling him.
Katsuki sat you gently on one of the chairs. Standing in between your legs, both arms caging you, and dropping his head.
“I’m not mad at you, im pissed that you won’t call me. Being a pro hero isn’t going to kill me you are.” He grumbled and you laughed.
“What do you want to eat?” He asked pulling away to cook for you.
“Whatever you want to cook.”
You sat in the kitchen as he cooked and you tried to help.
Trying to open a jar and your boyfriend gave you the dirtiest look.
“What did we just talk about.” He said wanting to snatch the jar out of your hand.
You held it out to him.
“Cut me some slack, please. I am used to being independent for as long as I’ve been alive.” You said
“We have been together for almost a year now. And I am here now for you. So relax please. I like taking care of you.” He said grabbing your hand and giving it a kiss. “We bought the house to be together and I can baby you.”
“You are such a sap.”
“The headline yesterday was “Dynamight’s Rage.” He replied his back turned to you cooking one of your favorite meals.
“Yes you’re so scary baby.” You sarcastically said
Both of you knowing that he had a temper and could terrify anyone. But as scary as Katsuki was he was far more scared of you when you got in your moods.
Katsuki finished cooking for you, placed you back on the couch, and made you sit there as he built the bookshelves.
He opened the box with a tool kit and instructions. You sat on the couch eating the food he made. The living room covered in styrofoam packaging and cardboard.
Even after a grueling shift, your boyfriend had cooked you a full dinner and was assembling shelves just for you.
You were type A and liked to be in control and do things yourself. Bakugo was also type A and trying to build it as you tried to control.
“No baby it’s screw A that’s screw H.” You said reading the instructions he threw.
He didn’t listen to anyone but you got half an ear.
“I know what I’m doing I don’t need the instructions.” Bakugo griped.
“I’m serious, please do it right. My books are my babies.” You complained.
“Woman you already injured yourself, can you let me do this.”
“If you did it right then I wouldn’t be complaining.” You shot back.
He let out a huff ignoring you continuing to build.
After the third time of him doing something you didn’t like you got frustrated.
Getting up off the couch, Katsuki heard you move not even turning.
“Get back on that couch before I strap you down.” He said not looking up. His red eyes focused on the wood planks.
You continued to move off the couch with a wince and Katuski turned around from the floor narrowing his eyes.
“Ass back on the couch. Now.”
“You’re not doing it right.” You whined halfway up.
He stood up his big body towering over you. Guiding back to the couch.
“You are a control freak. Sit down before I lock you in the bedroom or in the car to drive you to the hospital.” Katsuki threatened sitting you back down and throwing a heavy blanket on you to hold you down.
He was always so gentle with you even when he was ticked off.
After about an hour he saved the last bookshelf for tomorrow to cuddle you in bed.
“I told you I knew what I was doing.”
You hummed at his cockiness. He had given you some Advil and was gently massaging your back in your bed. You trapped in his big arms, your chests touching. His thick fingers gently pressing against your lower back.
“You like being my superman huh?” You said into his chest.
“Superman? Screw him I’m your Dynamight baby.”
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joelsgreys · 1 year
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a safe haven l six
Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x Female Reader
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series masterlist l previous chapter l next chapter
summary: Joel opens up to you about a very traumatic loss; he makes a confession about his feelings towards you; you make a confession of your own and it leads to something more.
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. fluff, infidelity, Joel and reader are having a full blown affair at this point, angst, talks of child loss (Sarah), lots of feelings come to the surface, two idiots realize they are in love. SMUT. oral sex (m receiving), size mention bc i will always be convinced our man is packing) unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up pls), reader discovers she likes praise, creampie.
word count: 8.4k
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August 2024
The next two and a half weeks that had passed by had done so without major incident, but things had taken a somewhat complicated turn.
You and Joel still manage to see one another a handful of times even with the exhausting amount of hours he’s been putting into his patrol duties, though it isn’t nearly as often as either of you wanted or would have preferred. But there was no other choice.
After numerous sightings of a group of potential raiders earlier on in the month, Tommy had no choice but to assign every last competent, able bodied patrol person, including himself, to work double shifts to ensure the safety and security of Jackson. He and Joel had come across the remnants of a campsite just about fifteen miles south of the settlement and they worried the group was hiding out, planning a violent, ambush attack on the community when it was least expected. Tommy had done his absolute best to keep the word from spreading throughout the commune to avoid causing a panic, but he found himself having to fess up when people went up to him and all but furiously demanded to know the truth—the real reason behind why their loved ones were now being asked to be on the other side of wall twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.
Joel, who you’d come to learn is one of the sharpest and strongest shooters out of everybody in Jackson besides his younger brother, reluctantly took on the role of lead patrolman. He had been assigned an absurd amount of double shifts to work, including the overnight routes, making it almost impossible for you to see each other. You’d understood he had no choice but to comply, but still—that didn’t make the situation any easier to deal with. Both of you tried to make the very best of what little time you managed to get together, but it hadn’t been nearly enough. As if not being able to see Joel wasn’t agonizing enough for you, the fact that he was out on the other side of the wall scared the hell out of you. The only way to keep yourself from losing your goddamn mind was to distract yourself.
You did everything that you could to keep your mind off Joel being out there. Burying yourself deeply into your work helped for the most part.
Besides that, Joel had asked you, as a favor to him, to keep a watchful eye on Ellie in light of his absence. You’d spend most of the day with her in the stables, you would have lunch with her in the mess hall along with Dina, and in the evening, you would go home and make dinner early enough to fix an extra plate of food for her so she had a nutritious homemade meal to enjoy instead of two decades old canned ravioli. You would take it over to her place and drop it off before Luke came home from the clinic. Ellie waited until it was late in the evening and he was asleep to return the plate back to you, and the two of you would take a lengthy, late night stroll through the town, keeping each other company for a while before heading off to bed. She hadn’t seemed to be all too concerned about Joel, but then again, Ellie had known better than you did that he could take care of himself out there just fine. If anything, you spending so much time with her had been more for your benefit than hers, and you started to suspect that just like Joel had asked you to keep an eye on Ellie, he had also asked her to keep an eye on you too. After all, you had made it abundantly clear to him that you were nervous about him being out on patrol while there was a possible threat looming in the shadows.
By the time the middle of August came around, no additional traces of the group had been found—they seemed to have vanished into thin air, causing a wave of relief to sweep through the town. Tommy and Maria finally decided to ease up and end the double shift assignments, allowing every single patrolman and woman to return to their normally scheduled work rotations. Joel went back to his usual early morning and afternoon patrol hours, which meant that the both of you could resume your clandestine meetings out behind the barn underneath the stars.
“I missed you,” you say, sighing out contentedly as you lean back against him.
You and Joel are sitting out on the large, vacant patch of field behind the barn, his soft, green flannel blanket acting as a barrier between your bodies and the itchiness of the grass the animals would graze on during the day. You’re nestled in between his long legs, your back against his warm chest as the two of you share the delicious, ripe peach he’d brought along with him as a surprise for you.
“Mm, probably not as much as I was missin’ you, sweet girl,” Joel replies with a hum before taking a bite of the fruit. Noticing there’s only a couple bites of it left, he reaches his arm around and holds it out for you, his bulging bicep straining against the sleeve of his faded black t-shirt. “Here, darlin’. Want you to go on and have the rest.”
“These will be out of season in a couple of months.” Giving a sad little pout to nobody in particular, you sigh again and sink your teeth into the peach. Through a small mouthful, you realize, “Who knows when we’ll ever get peaches around here again.”
Joel’s lips meet the spot on your neck right behind your ear and you feel him grin. “S’alright with me. I’ve got my sweet, perfect little peach right here. And I’ve got her all year round.”
You playfully elbow him in his chest. After polishing off the rest of the peach, you lick off the pit and toss it out into the distance.
“Didn’t think you’d be the type to litter,” he teases.
“It’s biodegradable,” you retort with a tiny laugh as you leaned your head back against his shoulder and gaze up, admiring the stars that sprinkle the velvet night skies. “Or at least, I think it is. Come to think of it, I never paid much attention in life science when I was in FEDRA school. It was my least favorite subject.”
You gather your hair in your hand, bringing it over your shoulder to keep it out of Joel’s face. 
“Mm,” he whispers, licking his lips as his eyes fall to the delicate flesh of your exposed neck. He ghosts his mouth over your pulse point and his warm breath fans against your cool skin, prompting your eyes to flutter closed. “Just temptin’ me on purpose now, ain’t you, baby?”
“I would never do such a thing,” you object in an innocent tone, and he immediately clocks the smirk behind it. A comfortable silence falls over the both of you and while you’d normally welcome the peaceful, tranquil moment with him, tonight it feels impossible. You had gone so long without Joel over the last couple of weeks—at least, it had certainly felt long—and you realize one of things you’d missed most about him was the sound of his voice. “Ask me a question, Joel.”
“What kinda question can I ask, darlin’?”
Feeling brave, you offer, “You can ask me anything you want. No limits.”
Humming curiously to himself, he tries to think of something he hasn’t asked you before. “What’s your favorite color?”
“Really, Joel?” You snort, trying to mask your laughter as he rests his chin on your shoulder, the scruff of his beard tickling your skin as he presses his cheek against yours. “I just told you that you can ask me anything you want and that’s your question? What’s my favorite color?”
“Yeah,” he answers, simply. “I wanna know what it is.”
He turns his head, lifting it off your shoulder to brush a gentle kiss to your temple. Joel could not, for the life of him, even remember the last time he’d shared this kind of physical tenderness with anybody. Forehead kisses, holding your hand, all sorts of little tokens of affection he didn’t think he could still be capable of giving to someone came to him so naturally with you. You had brought out an entirely different side of him, one that had been buried beneath his rough exterior for well over two decades, and the part that Joel still can’t quite wrap his own head around is that you’d done it with such ease. He’d go as far as to say that you had done it without even trying.
“So?” Joel prompts you. “What is it?”
“It’s brown,” you answer. 
“Brown? Why brown?”
“Because. It’s earthy, it’s warm—and your eyes are brown,” you state, grinning to yourself as you feel his loud laugh rumble through his chest and against your back. “What about you? I mean that’s if Joel Miller even has a favorite color,” you giggle teasingly, placing a hand on one of his denim clad legs. You then add, “Actually, I’m kind of curious now. Do you have a favorite color, Joel?”
Joel hesitates, momentarily holding onto his answer.
“I do. It’s purple,” he finally responds after a brief bout of silence. “Purple’s my favorite color.”
“Purple,” you repeat after him, unable to mask the surprise in your tone. “Really?”
Joel chuckles. “What? That weird or somethin’?”
“Uh, sort of. For one, you just don’t strike me as the kind of guy who would have a favorite color in the first place—and even if you’d told me you did, I would have never in a million years guessed that it was purple,” you admit, sheepishly. You trace a small circle around his knee with your finger and curiously ask him, “Why is purple your favorite color?”
“‘Cause. That’s my daughter’s favorite color.”
You scoff playfully. “Come on, Joel. Ellie’s favorite color sure as hell isn’t purple. Her favorite color is green. But red’s a close second.”
When he speaks again, his voice is so quiet you almost don’t hear him despite being in such close proximity. 
“I ain’t talkin’ about Ellie.”
At first, it doesn’t quite register, but after a moment of processing, the pieces click together in your mind. Joel has another daughter.
Your smile vanishes and you slowly turn around between his legs to face him. Looking at him with wide, shocked eyes, you utter, “What?”
“Her name was Sarah,” he confesses, softly. 
Was. 
Your throat dries at his use of past tense.
Because you know exactly what that means. 
Opening your mouth to speak, words fail you and you close it. You suddenly remember the way he would tap dance around certain details of his first life in Texas. Whenever he would speak about his life before the outbreak, he would be cautious, careful to watch himself and his words. You’d known Joel had been keeping something from you, something he wasn’t ready to disclose to you for one reason or another—but never would you have guessed that him having a daughter would be the secret he had been hiding.
By now, you’ve turned your body around and you kneel in front of him, sitting back onto your heels. Not wanting to push him too hard or too fast, you clasp your hands together in your lap and wait silently—patiently—for him to continue when he’s ready.
“Sarah’s favorite color was purple. She’d wear it all the time. Her backpack, her school supplies, they all had to be purple or she wouldn’t use them. When she was nine years old, she begged me to paint the walls of her bedroom purple. One day, I took her to Home Depot after school to look at all the different shades.” He laughs, musing, “Didn’t know there could be so goddamn many of them. Anyhow, I told her I’d think ‘bout it. I went back to the store the next day while she was at school, bought a couple cans of the lavender shade I knew she’d like the best and by the time she got home, I had it all painted for her,” he explains, a sadness glazing over the fondness of the memory. “She loved purple. It was the color of the t-shirt she was wearin’ the last time we were together on the night of the outbreak.”
Your heart sinks. “Joel, you don’t have to tell me—”
“S’alright, peach. I wanna tell you ‘bout her,” Joel assures you, reaching out for your hand and taking it in his own. “I trust you, baby. Trust you more than enough to tell you ‘bout Sarah.”
Nodding, you lace his fingers together with your own. 
“I was never married,” he starts to say, knowing whether or not he’d also had a wife before the world ended would be a question on your mind—that’s if it wasn’t already. “I was never with Sarah’s mom. I met her in high school and we’d been friends up through senior year of college. We started to date then, but after a year, we realized we weren’t a good fit together. We broke up and a couple months later, we found out she was pregnant with Sarah. Her mom and me, well we both made an agreement to co-parent her as best as we could. Just a few months shy of our daughter’s first birthday, she realized she couldn’t handle raisin’ a child at our age. I tried real hard to convince her to stick around and keep tryin’ but I couldn’t get her to stay. She bailed out on me, but the worst part of it was that she bailed out on Sarah.”
He stops for a moment and you give his hand a gentle, but firm, encouraging squeeze.
“As if bein’ a father to a baby girl didn’t scare the shit of me, being a single father made it all feel so much scarier, y’know? I was young, in my early twenties. I was always workin’ so damn much, tryin’ to build my construction business with Tommy. Now I had this tiny little person to take care of, and I honestly didn’t know how the fuck I was gonna do it.” Joel pauses, his sixth sense detecting that your knees have started hurting from the position you’re in. He closes his legs together and pulls you to sit on his lap. “It wasn’t easy, and I probably made a lot more mistakes than I’d like to admit. But somehow, I made it work and it turned out alright. Sarah was my best friend in the whole entire world. Hell, I loved her more than fuckin’ life itself. She could be a handful, but she was perfect in every single way. She was my sweet little butterfly, my ray of sunshine on even the darkest of days.”
Swallowing harshly, you ask, “What happened to her, Joel?”
Joel sighs, resting a hand on your bare thigh. His fingers skim the scalloped hem of your floral shorts. “It was the first night of the outbreak. We were tryin’ to get out of Austin. Me, Sarah, and Tommy. We didn’t know where the hell we were gonna go or what we were gonna do, but we just needed to get far away from the city. We got separated at one point when our pickup truck got into an awful wreck. I had Sarah in my arms ‘cause she couldn’t walk. She’d broken her ankle in the crash. Tommy told me to get her to the river where she’d be safer, said he’d find his way over there to meet us.”
Your heart begins to pound. Part of you almost doesn’t want to hear how his story is going to end—because in a way, you already know how it’s going to end. But if Joel is telling you about Sarah, it’s for a reason. He’s opening up to you, the way you’ve opened up to him. He’s sharing his heartbreaking loss because he trusts you—and Joel Miller doesn’t trust anyone that’s not his family.
Draping an arm around his shoulders, your fingers toy with the curls at the nape of his neck as you anxiously wait for him to recount the event that follows next, the event that will surely shatter your heart into pieces.
“The streets were crawlin’ with infected. One caught us in its sights and chased after us. Tried to dodge it through a buildin’ but it followed us, runnin’ us out into a field just a mile from the river. I didn’t think we were gonna make it—then, a soldier came outta nowhere and shot it dead. It felt like some kinda fuckin’ miracle. I thought we were lucky. I thought we were gonna get some help.” His voice grows hoarse, thickening with emotions he’s not too sure he can hold back this time. “I couldn’t have been more wrong. He was given the order by his command to kill us both, even though we weren’t sick. I tried tellin’ him over and over we weren’t infected, but it didn’t matter. He shot at us. He grazed me in my side, but Sarah—he got her. Got her multiple times. I was foolish enough to think it hadn’t been fatal. I tried gettin’ her up, begged Tommy to help me—but it was useless. Sarah died in my arms. Took her very last breath in some field outside of Austin.”
“God,” you whisper shakily, a sharp, painful ache shooting through your chest at the thought of him cradling his daughter’s lifeless body in his arms, her purple shirt soaked in crimson. “Joel, I don’t—I don’t even know what to say. I’m so sorry.” Willing yourself to keep it together for his sake, you hold the back of his neck in your hand, fingers coaxing him to look up and meet your gaze.
“After that, I just didn’t see any point in carryin’ on anymore. I’d lost the most important thing in the fuckin’ world to me. I couldn’t see in the darkness now that my little ray of sunshine was gone. So, a couple nights later, I picked up my gun and tried to end my own life,” he confesses. Even though it’s been over twenty years, traces of shame still linger behind. “Put the barrel of a pistol to my temple. Told myself it was what I wanted to do and I pulled the trigger.”
Without thinking, you reach towards the scar on his right temple with your opposite hand, the one you’d noticed for the first time before he had kissed you in Ranger’s stall. You lightly brush your fingertips over the jagged, raised patch of skin. You’d wanted to ask him about it on several different occasions, but never had the courage to actually do it. Now that you know he’d gotten it from his own hand, it just makes the entire thing all that much more heart wrenching.
“M’sure you’ve guessed it by now, but I missed. I flinched and I missed. For twenty fuckin’ years, all I could do was wish I hadn’t missed. Spent a long time hatin’ myself for missin’ what should’ve been the easiest goddamn shot of my entire life. Then, Ellie came along.” Joel moves his hand, gingerly taking your chin between his thumb and index finger. “And not long after her, I met you, sweet girl. The two of you came at me outta nowhere.” He can’t help but chuckle, remembering his first encounter with Ellie, the way she had flown at him with her switchblade clutched in hand only to end up thrown against the wall. “You both came outta left fuckin’ field and brought out sides of me I thought had been dead and buried for years now. You and her, you mean more to me than I can fuckin’ explain. You’re the most important things in the world to me now.”
Your breath catches in the back of your throat at his declaration. It’s not like you didn’t know Joel cared about you. Of course you know that. But the extent to which he did had been something of a mystery, at least up until this very moment.
“I didn’t know I could feel this way ‘bout anyone again,” Joel admits. He slides his arm around you, pulling you closer to him. “Openin’ up my heart to Ellie, that was one thing. But openin’ it up to you? That’s been somethin’ else, peach. I don’t think you even realize the hold you’ve got over me and my heart. What really fuckin’ gets me is that you don’t even gotta try. All you gotta do is look at me with those eyes and give me that pretty smile of yours, and I’m fuckin’ done for. You’ve got me wrapped all the way around your little finger and then back again, baby. Y’need to know that I’d do just ‘bout fuckin’ anythin’ for you. You understand that?”
You stare at him like a deer caught in headlights.
“Joel,” you stammer his name, your nerve endings feeling like they’ve been lit on fire. “You really need to stop talking like that.”
“Why’s that?”
You don’t even think—you just blurt the words out before you can stop them.
“Because I think I’m falling in love with you.”
The tables turn and it’s now Joel who is at a complete loss for words.
Embarrassed by your own admission, you begin to ramble nervously. “Look, I know it’s ridiculous. We haven’t known each other long, but I can’t help it. And maybe it’s for the best if you know where I stand and how I feel. You still have time to back out of this—”
Still holding your chin, Joel carefully brings your face toward his, silencing you by slotting his lips to yours. He moves to cup the side of your face in his palm, forgetting about any kind of softness as he greedily licks into your mouth. He’s kissed you plenty of times before and you thought you knew all of his kisses well enough by now, but you’d been wrong. This one is different from all the rest. His lips move against yours in a possessive manner, but not the kind of possessive you’re used with Luke. No, with Joel, it isn’t a possessive stemming from control and abuse, rather, it’s out of pure need, want, and desire. Even as his mouth devours yours, there’s still a sweet, loving tenderness to it.
“Joel,” you whimper against him. “I—”
You falter, unable to say those three words. There’s something holding you back—maybe it’s fear. Maybe it’s knowing that once you say them, you can’t take them back. Not that you would. But it’s a big step, and you’re not quite ready to say it, even if it is how you feel.
And he feels the same.
He deepens the embrace.
I love you.
Joel might not be ready to say it either, but he hopes the way he’s holding you and swelling your lips with his puts your mind at ease and reassures you that you’re not the only one who’s falling.
You shift yourself in his lap, moving to straddle him, your legs on either side of his thighs as your mouths remain fused to one another. He reaches and grabs for every single part of you that he can, running his hands all over you from your shoulders down to your hips, dragging lower until they’re unabashedly cupping the delicious curves of your ass. You whimper in his mouth again and the moment your lips part, his tongue takes advantage, darting inside to start the heated, unhinged dance with your own.
You clutch at his shoulders, your fingers curling around tight around fistfuls of his t-shirt in an attempt, and a very desperate one at that, to keep yourself planted on the ground. You hold on trying to keep yourself tethered to planet earth, but with the way his searing hot mouth moves with yours in perfect unison, it’s impossible. You’re free falling without a safety net, and you don’t even care. 
Seating yourself completely on his lap, you feel the bulge of his cock straining against the zipper of his jeans and the wetness pools between your thighs.
Letting go of his shirt, you reach around him and bury your fingers in his curls, lightly tipping his head back as your tongue explores his mouth like it’s the first time all over again. Joel tastes like the sweet fruit you’d shared, a strange mix when combined with the mint from his toothpaste. But there’s something else he tastes like and you’ve tasted it several times before, however even after all this time, you still can’t figure out what it could be. It tastes like Joel. That’s the only way you can think of to describe it. It just tastes like Joel and it’s addicting and you want it on your lips for the rest of your life.
After a minute, you and Joel finally force yourselves apart, your lungs and his begging for oxygen. 
“Joel,” you choke his name between heavy pants for air.
“Baby.” He’s about as breathless as you are, possibly even more. “Baby, please. I’ve gotta have you,” he pleads, hands now splayed on the small of your back. “Please. I fuckin’ need you. Or else m’gonna lose my goddamn fuckin’ mind.”
“Barn,” you rasp out, releasing your grip on his hair. 
Confused, Joel’s eyebrows knit together. “Barn?”
“Barn,” you repeat as you climb off of him.
You’re unsteady—incredibly unsteady. Knees wobbling, legs trembling and feeling like they’re seconds away from giving out underneath you. But you hold a hand out to Joel, exhaling a tiny, labored grunt as you help him up off the ground. Grabbing his blanket, you give it a shake before taking his hand in yours and leading him around to the front of the barn. Dropping his hand, you use both of yours to slide one of the double doors open an inch or two and take a peek inside to make sure the coast is clear. You then slide the door open a bit further, just wide enough for you and Joel to slip inside. 
“Wait a minute,” he chuckles as he watches you slide the door closed. “How’d y’know it would be unlocked?”
“I didn’t know it would be unlocked. I was just hoping we’d get lucky,” you admit, beckoning him for him to follow you. “Come on.”
Through various cracks and gaps and open windows, enough moonlight filters into the barn, shining a decent amount of light into the structure—enough so that it’s not pitch black and you two are left stumbling around in complete darkness.
Joel glances around. The last time he’d been inside the barn was back in June for the summer party. He remembered it having been cleaned and cleared out for the event and now, two months later, it’s packed to the rafters with countless bales of hay. In retrospect, he shouldn’t have been surprised. But as he walks, piles of loose dried grass and herbs crunch underneath his boots and he remarks, “There’s fuckin’ hay everywhere, darlin’.”
“Um, yeah. What else do you keep in a barn?” you jeer lightly, earning yourself a small scoff from him. “Hey, at least they don’t keep sheep and other livestock in here, Joel. Besides, beggars can’t be choosers, right?”
Joel snorts, masking his laughter at the thought of walking into a barn full of animals instead of an absurd amount of hay. “Yeah, guess that’s fair enough,” he concedes. “Might kill the mood if that were the case.”
You lead him over towards one of the far corners of the barn, your eyes falling to a large, almost bed sized pile of loose hay. Draping the blanket over it, you stand upright and then freeze, your body flooding with nerves once you realize what’s inevitably about to happen between you and Joel.
You hadn’t done anything with him since the night he’d pleasured you out on his front porch. Of course you wanted more, so much more, but that doesn’t make you any less nervous. You’re so much younger, hardly have any experience—you’ve only ever been with one man, and even then, it hardly counts. It’s been such a long time since you’d found sex something you wanted, something you enjoyed. Whenever Luke touches you, it makes your skin crawl, but when Joel Miller touches you?
It sets you ablaze, leaves you needing more of it. Of him.
Part of you wonders if your touch makes him feel the same. What if it doesn’t?
His arms wrap around your waist from behind and you exhale the breath you’d been holding shakily.
“What’s the matter, darlin’?” Joel murmurs softly into your hair, sensing your pensiveness. 
“I’m just really nervous,” you blurt out.
“S’okay,” he says, quietly. “M’kinda nervous too.”
You’re slightly taken aback. “Really? What are you nervous about?”
Joel rests his chin on your shoulder. “We’ve both crossed a lot of lines already, peach. But this one? S’gonna be the one we can’t come back from,” he tells you. “Might be what seals the deal between us, y’know?”
Slowly, you turn around to face him. “Yeah, I know,” you respond, peeking up at him through your eyelashes. “And I know I should care, but I don’t. It’s wrong, isn’t it?”
“S’wrong,” he agrees with a tight nod. “But I don’t care either, sweet girl.”
Before you can utter another word about it, Joel crashes his mouth onto yours. He snakes one of his arms around you and lifts the other, cupping the back of your neck as he ravages you with his lips and tongue, kissing you with such urgency, such desperation that it melts you into a whimpering mess in his arms. Your mind is hopelessly lost in a thick, cloudy haze—all you can focus on is breathing him into your lungs like he’s the air you need to stay alive. His hands fall down to the hem of your white camisole and his mouth abandons yours to pull it over your head. He discards it, tossing it over his shoulder somewhere behind him. He then pushes your shorts and underwear down your legs and you kick them off along with your shoes. You’re now standing before him completely naked.
Desperate to feel his skin against yours, you take the hem of his t-shirt and clumsily tug it over his head, eliciting a laugh from him. You throw it somewhere over his shoulder to join yours and your hands eagerly meet his warm, bare chest for the first time. Biting down on your bottom lip, your trembling fingertips brush over several bumps and rough, raised patches of skin that you know have to be his scars. He has so many, and all you want to do is kiss each and every single one of them, but Joel has other ideas. He pulls you into his arms, flush against his chest, and he holds you tightly.
More often than not, Joel feels as if you’re not real—worries that you’re just a perfect, flawless figment of his own imagination. He doesn’t know whether or not you’ve caught onto what he’s been doing, but he steals moments like these whenever he can, moments where he stands there and takes you into his arms and holds you without saying a word.
It’s his own way of reminding himself that not only are you real, but you’re real and you’re his. Joel doesn’t care about the fucking ring on your finger. He doesn’t care that you’re promised to another man. He doesn’t care that he can only hold you in secret, that he can’t walk next you down the streets of Jackson in broad daylight and hold your hand while doing so. He doesn’t get to share a roof or a bed with you and he doesn’t get to join you for dinner at the table every night—maybe this isn’t how he preferred things to be, but he just doesn’t care. 
It doesn’t matter to him.
Nothing matters to him except for one thing.
Your heart belongs to him. It bleeds with his name.
You’re his. You’re all fucking his, and only his, in all the ways that truly matter.
And he is yours. 
Joel chokes out a strained groan as you press your plush lips softly against his neck, your tongue swiping across his pulse point. You firmly suckle his flesh, hard enough to break the tiny blood vessels underneath his skin and once you’ve left your mark, you trail your lips down his neck, eliciting another strangled noise from him. You sweep them over his collarbone, then down the length of his chest, showing each scar you come across with the affection it deserves. Your teeth nip and scrape at the softness of his belly and you quickly discover that it’s one of your favorite parts of him. Lowering yourself to your knees, your nose skims over the trail of dark, coarse hair below his navel and your fingers suggestively skim the waistband of his jeans.
His eyes widen. “You ain’t gotta do that—”
“I already told you, Joel. I want to,” you assure him, your voice low, sexy, filled with a lust for him and only for him. You make yourself comfortable, a challenging feat since you’d overshot the blanket and are now kneeling directly on the itchy, dried grass. It doesn’t matter, though—you’re more than willing to deal with discomfort for him. You place a hand on his hip and peer up at him. Your eyes meet his in the milky white moonlight. “You made me feel good. Please, just let me do the same for you?”
The nod he gives you is so subtle, so quick, that you almost don’t catch it.
He’d grown tense beneath your touch. 
You can’t help but laugh softly—not at him, but at the fact that he doesn’t realize that pleasuring him isn’t a want for you, it’s a need.
Gently, you pat his hip. “Relax, honey,” you encourage him, surprised at how the pet name rolls off your tongue with such natural ease.
Your hands reach for the button of his jeans and you swiftly undo it, then tug at his zipper. You start pulling the denim down his legs. Joel helps you, kicking off his worn, black leather boots before stepping out of his jeans, kicking the article of clothing off to the side. Heart racing in anticipation, you slide his dark boxer briefs down his legs, but stop short, breath hitching the second you feast your eyes on his cock. You’ve felt him through his clothes before, knew he was well endowed, but you’re still shocked to see just how big he really is. The mere thought of his hard, thick length filling you up and stretching your cunt makes your entire body ache with need. You can’t be certain how he’ll fit, but truth be told, he could tear you in half and you would thank him for it. 
Joel draws in a quick, sharp breath when he feels your small hand wrap around his base. Just as fast as he’d breathed it in, it’s knocked back out of his lungs when your other hand joins in and you run your fingertips along the thick, prominent vein on the underside of his cock. He twitches in your hands—you’ve hardly touched him, haven’t even put your mouth on him, and he’s already teetering on the edge.
“Christ, baby. You’re gonna be the fuckin’ death of me, I hope y’know that,” Joel croaks, tilting his head back to look up at the rafters as he silently wills himself not to explode too soon. His hips involuntarily jerk forward as you lick his tip, collecting his leaking precome on your tongue before wrapping your soft lips around it. Another loud, ragged groan tears from the back of his throat as you take him in slowly, inch by inch, further into your warm, wet mouth. Your own moaning around him causes a vibrating sensation, making it harder for Joel to keep himself from spilling into your mouth.
“Fuck, peach,” he curses, feeling the head of his cock nudge the back of your throat. He’s more than a mouthful for you, but you accept the challenge with eagerness and take him in further, gagging around him as drool dribbles down the sides of your chin. You, the same woman who just moments ago had said she was nervous about being intimate with him—whoever that woman had been, she was long fucking gone.
Joel’s eyes flit down and he sinks his teeth hard into his lower lip. He can see your silhouette as you work him with that pretty little mouth of yours. One glance is all he can handle before he’s squeezing his eyes shut, the pressure building in his lower abdomen and already dangerously close to reaching its peak. If Joel so much as looks at you again, he’ll come down your throat, and that’s not where he’s planning on finishing tonight.
You bob your head back and forth on his cock, your eyes watering each time he slips past the back of your throat—your cheeks hollow as you suck him greedily, and you alternate between that and stroking his long, thick shaft, your tongue swirling around his head.
Without opening his eyes, Joel reaches down with his hand and cradles the back of your head in his palm. The sounds that fill the barn are nothing short of obscene. His grunts and groans mixed together with the sounds of the moans you’d release in between your wet and sloppy slurping. He forces his eyes open and bravely takes another look at you, his heart slamming painfully against his sternum as you move your head faster, chasing his release as if you’re chasing your own.
“Fuck, baby—wait, stop. Need you to stop.” Joel’s hand leaves the back of your head and he cups your jaw, gently, but firmly, forcing you to release his cock from your mouth with an audible pop. “Ain’t gonna last much longer, not if you keep on like that.”
“Isn’t that the whole point?” you ask, smirking up at him as you wipe the mixture of his precome and your saliva away from your chin with the back of your hand.
Joel leans over and takes your arms, effortlessly yanking you up to your feet. His hand dives between your thighs to get a feel—to find whether you’re ready to take him or not. He slips two fingers between your soaked folds without so much as a warning, causing you to gasp out and grip his biceps, your fingernails digging into the firm muscle. Joel withdraws his hand from your cunt, admiring the way his digits come back coated with your slick. He looks at you, his eyes locking with yours as he lifts his hand to his mouth and slowly licks his fingers clean.
That alone nearly makes you come undone, almost makes you melt into a pathetic, whimpering mess at his feet. 
“Joel,” you say his name pleadingly. “Please.”
Sliding his fingers out of his mouth, he steps forwards and curls them around your wrist. “What is it, my sweet little peach? Hm? What do you want?”
“You. I want you,” you answer. You’re quick to correct yourself. “No, I need you. I fucking need you—I need you more than anything I’ve ever needed in my life, Joel.”
Leaning down, Joel skims the tip of his nose against your cheek before bringing it down along your jawline. “Where, darlin’?” he whispers huskily, sending a shiver up your spine. “Where do you need me, baby?”
Your mouth falls open slightly unable to say it. You don’t know why you’re suddenly shy, flustered as if you just hadn’t been down on your knees gagging around his cock.
“Tell me, peach,” he coaxes you gently with another low whisper. “Tell me where you need me. Tell me where you need my cock, sweetheart. Need to hear you say it.”
“Inside me.” Blazing heat floods your face. “I need you inside of me—I need you to fuck me. Please, Joel.”
“So polite ‘bout it, too,” he remarks. “What a good girl.”
Though he says it in a teasing manner, his praise nearly makes you collapse.
“You like that,” he realizes, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. “Yeah, baby? Y’like it when I call you a good girl?”
“Fuck, I—yes, I do,” you confess.
“C’mere.” Joel wraps an arm around your waist, hand splayed over your back as he lowers you down onto the blanket. He follows suit. You both let out breathy laughs at the way your naked bodies sink down into the pile of hay. Propping himself up with his arm, Joel looks down at you, his smile fading as a serious expression crosses his features. He tucks a lock of hair behind your ear, finger grazing the silkiness of your cheek. “Y’sure ‘bout this, peach? Ain’t too late to stop.”
Smiling softly, you lift a hand to the side of his face, your fingers stroking his graying beard. “I’ve never been so sure about anything, Joel,” you promise him. “If you could take a peek into my mind, you would see how bad I want this, how bad I need this—how bad I need you. I don’t want to stop.” And you don’t just mean the sex. You don’t any of this to stop—the secret, late night meetings, the stolen kisses, the illicit affair. “I’m sure about this. I’m sure about you, Joel.”
That’s all he needs to hear.
Joel reaches down between your bodies, gripping his base, pumping his throbbing cock in his fist before lining himself up at your sopping entrance. Adrenaline courses through your veins—every nerve ending in your body is going up in flames. You spread your legs wider for him, hoping he’ll understand the nonverbal cue. He does. He begins to ease himself into your cunt and you hook a leg around his waist, encouraging him to go deeper. The barn fills with the sound of his grunt and your loud cry at the initial stretch. He sinks his cock further into you until he bottoms out and you cry out again, feeling a delicious burning sensation as he cradles his hips between your thighs.
“M’gonna need you to relax a little sweetheart,” he whispers gently, ceasing his movements to give your body a chance to adjust to him. Joel takes advantage of having you pinned underneath him with your head thrown back and his lips latch onto your neck, hungrily. He fervently kisses his way down the column of your throat, nips his way to your collarbone—but unlike you, he’s careful to do so without leaving any kind of mark behind. He would give anything to have the freedom to leave traces of his loving all over you. Maybe it’s the heat of the moment and the way he’s buried inside you to the hilt that brings out the primal in him, but Joel wouldn’t mind seeing you walk around Jackson covered in his love bites. He wants everyone to know he’s the one who’d left them behind, needs them to understand that you’re his. But that isn’t possible. Joel lifts his head from the hollow of your neck and nibbles lightly at your chin. “You alright, baby?”
Forcing your eyes open, you lift your head and bring yourself to look at him. At first, you feel discomfort, but after a minute, your body finally relaxes around him and it subsides. It’s replaced with the burning desire to feel more of him. The pretty glow coming in from outside the barn illuminates his face and you smile. “I’m better than alright. I’m perfect,” you assure him. You place a hand delicately on his chest, feeling his heart thrum hard against your fingertips. “This is perfect.”
Joel kisses the tip of your nose. He slides out of you slowly, then right back into you in an experimental thrust that brings your body off the blanket, your back arching in sheer pleasure. It’s such a deliciously tight fit, and he almost can’t believe how fucking good it feels to be sheathed in your taut heat. He drops his head, taking your breast into his mouth, tongue swirling around your hardened nipple as he bucks his hips once more. He’s being careful. Too careful.
“Joel—I need you to move,” you gasp. You drag a hand down his chest and over his soft stomach, letting your fingernails rake lightly over his flushed skin. It’s warm to the touch, covered in a thin sheen of sweat. “Joel, please. Fuck me.”
Thankfully, you don’t have to tell him twice.
Joel releases the pebbled flesh from his mouth with a loud, lewd pop. He pulls his cock out of your dribbling pussy, then slams back into you with such force that he places a hand on the crown of your head, keeping you in place underneath him on the blanket. You wrap your own leg around him, locking your ankles together, your heels digging into the firm curve of his ass. You lift your hips just as he rolls his own right into them. The new angle gives Joel the opportunity to fuck you even deeper and he hits the sensitive, spongy spot inside you, making you see stars. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you hold onto him, moans you’ve never heard come out of your own mouth before ringing in your ears and in his. He starts picking up his pace.
“Baby.” He’s breathless and speaks between every snap of his hips. “Fuck, y’feel s’good—s’tight around me—”
“Don’t stop, Joel. God, please don’t fucking stop,” you plead him, your finger burying themselves in his hair. “Keep going, just like that—fuck, you feel so fucking good inside me—”
You bite down on your bottom lip, adoring how Joel squeezes his dark eyes shut each and every single time the head of his cock brushes that one particularly deep spot inside of you. Knowing that you and your body has this kind of an effect on him, it gives you a boost of confidence. You’ve spent the last couple of years allowing a pathetic excuse of a man—if one could even call him that—pick on you, say things about your body, and make you feel like your inability to conceive a child made you defective. Worthless, even. And here’s a real man, one who makes you feel beautiful with the way he talks to you, the way he kisses you, touches you, and fucks you. You’re not perfect by any means, but Joel Miller makes you feel what your own husband doesn’t.
He makes you feel like you’re enough. More than enough.
The barn fills with a combination of moaning, panting, and the sound of damp skin slapping against damp skin.
Glancing down at you, Joel shakes his head and warns, “Ain’t gonna last much longer, baby. M’so goddamn close.”
An unexpected wave of courage washes over you. Planting your hands firmly on his chest, you take him by complete surprise and slide out from underneath him. A small grunt escapes him as you push him onto his back. Amused, you can’t help but giggle at the shocked expression on his face as you guide him to lie down on the flannel blanket. Eager to see his reaction, you keep your eyes trained on his face as you straddle his lap. You grip the base of his cock in your hand and then slowly sink down onto him, your cunt greedily squeezing him as you slide down until you’re fully seated.
Joel’s jaw falls slack. It’s the most stunning sight he’s ever seen.
You, completely naked on top of him, your pouty lips plump and swollen from his kisses. Your smooth, supple skin glows in the moonlight shining through the open window behind you. All while every inch of Joel’s cock was buried deep inside of you, head nudging at your cervix. Eyes glimmering devilishly, the sexiest little smirk tugs at the corners of your mouth. “Like what you see?”
He tries to speak, but he can’t.
You’ve rendered him speechless. 
Grabbing his hands in yours, you guide them to your hips. His blood roars in his ears and his fingers dig into the pillowy soft flesh, holding on as you begin to rock them back and forth. You throw your head back, your hair spilling over your shoulder. The friction of your clit against his pelvis heightens your pleasure. Joel had thought he would be the one to topple over the edge first, but he’d been wrong.
Eyes pinching shut, you start bouncing yourself on his cock, your desperation mounting. You feel the tension between your hips coiling back tightly, ready to snap forward.
“Fuck, Joel—I’m gonna—I’m so fucking close.”
“Yeah, that’s it. Fuckin’ come for me, baby,” Joel encourages you, his fingers digging even harder into your hips. One of his hands abandons your side and he reaches up and gently takes your slackened jaw in the palm of his hand. He coaxes you to look down at him. “Need you to be a good girl and look at me, peach,” he instructs you, slipping his thumb between your parted lips. “Need to see that pretty face of yours when you come all over my cock, sweetheart.”
“Oh fuck—fuckfuckfuck!”
Crying out, you unravel and fall apart all over him, the ecstasy blurring the edges of your vision. 
It doesn’t take Joel much longer to follow. He lets out a low, guttural growl, choking out a string of profanities as he slams you down onto his lap and holds you in place, spurts of warm come coating your velvet walls. Your pussy squeezes him, draining him of every last drop.
You collapse forward onto him in a sweaty, whimpering mess and he wraps his arms around you. With him still inside you, you both lay there and try to catch your breaths as the high slowly but surely begins to wear off.
After a few minutes, Joel pulls out of you and he shifts your bodies, moving you so you’re now laying beside him. Tucking you against his side, he slides his arm around your shoulders and pulls you even closer. His other hand finds one of yours and he takes it, bringing them both to rest on his chest.
“You alright?” he asks you, lacing his fingers together with yours.
“I’m great,” you answer him tiredly, prompting him to chuckle. “What about you?”
Joel strokes at your hair. “Never been better, sweet girl.”
You groan. “Joel, don’t do that,” you mumble into his shoulder. “You’re going to put me right to sleep.”
He laughs again. “We’ve still got a bit more time, y’know. If you’re tired, you can take a quick nap. I can wake you up in ‘bout an hour when it’s time to head home.”
“No, that’s okay,” you decline the offer, worried he would accidentally fall asleep too. “I really wish we could sleep together—I mean, actually sleep together. In an actual bed. Not having to worry about anything. Just like normal couples do.”
“Well, we ain’t exactly a normal couple, darlin’.”
“No, we’re definitely not,” you murmur. You don’t even realize how sad you’d sounded until you feel Joel give your shoulders a comforting squeeze. 
Neither of you say anything else about it as you spend the next hour laying there, tangled up in each other’s embrace, waiting until it was time to go your separate ways.
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1K notes · View notes
dollfaceksj · 5 months
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I'm gonna cry if he's mean to her 😭 she would definitely deserve it, I just wouldn't like it though
:)
a/n: early cal update bc i won’t be able to post this weekend. 🫶🏽
can’t afford love | myg (m) #22
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⋆ TAGLIST ⋆
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⇠ PREV. ⋆ MASTERLIST ⋆ NEXT ⇢
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WHAT DO YOU DO?
“I don’t want to be alone.” — 91,4%
GO HOME ALONE — 8,6%
382 votes
you chose:
“I don’t want to be alone.”
“i don’t want to be alone.”
you say it without even glancing at him
scared of
rejection? disbelief? annoyance?
and in your peripherals you see yoongi typing away on his phone
doesn’t even glance your way
immersed in his phone
you awkwardly scratch at the back of your head
wondering why he’s straight up ignoring you
well
girl…
clearly you’ve forgotten about what the hell he confronted you with before leaving for the hospital
he has every right to just not be in the mood to even deal with you
so what if you don’t want to be alone?
he definitely didn’t want to be slapped in the face with that revelation from earlier but you still did it
“yoongi?” you say, quietly, hoping to grab his attention
but he simply keeps typing
doesn’t glance your way
you swallow your pride and reach for the door handle, opening up the car door
the sound of his belt unbuckling and snapping back in place takes you by surprise
you turn to look at him and he’s preparing to get out of the car as well
you decide not to comment on it as you get out and close the car door quietly
make your way home
with yoongi in your wake.
with your shoes kicked off by the door and your clothes messily thrown over your dresser, you slide into your pajamas
yoongi’s still on his phone, sitting on your bed
you know you deserve a cold shoulder but damn
you glance at him before getting into your bed, turning your back to him
you’re not sure he even wants to look at you
but then again, why did he decide to stay the night?
is it pity?
you suppose it is
cause if you’ve ever seen yoongi pissed off it was earlier today
“yoongi,” you say, trying to catch his attention yet again
this time he simply hums in response
you ask, “what are you doing?”
no response whatsoever
you frown at the wall
(since your back is turned to him)
“yoon–”
“give me a second, will you?”
oh
okay
he sounds a bit irritated
but that’s the least he should be
he has every right to scream your head off
and yet, all thats coming out of his mouth are words laced with annoyance
he’s been on his phone since you got out of the car
who is he talking to?
is he ignoring you or is he really just preoccupied?
but who could he be texting this late at night?
you can’t help but be curious
“who are you even talking to?”
and why are you ignoring me?
no, not why
you know why
and he has every right to be mad at you
“my boss, y/n. jesus.”
his boss?
why is he talking to his boss?
at this time of–
oh
oh.
is he
asking
for a day off tomorrow?
he took out his phone the moment you told him you didn’t want to be alone
has he been trying to get a day off? is that why his nose has been buried in his phone?
he finally locks his phone with a click and rises to his feet. “goodnight.”
you suppose he’s going to take the couch
“wait,” you call out, back still turned to him.
you hear him halt in his tracks, waiting for you to say whatever it is you need to tell him
“sleep here,” you pause. “with me.”
you almost choke as you try to get the words out
it makes you so nervous
will he think it’s a bad idea?
will he comply?
will he tell you that–
a few more moments until the bed besides you dips a bit deeper
okay
he’s in bed with you
back to yours
so close
yet soooo far
it feels like there’s a brick wall with a girth worth of 5 meters
he sighs quietly and rubs his eyes.
takes a deep breath before he says, “let’s talk.”
you’re quiet for a moment
simply staring at the wall
trying to steady your breathing
you begin, “what do you want to talk abo–”
“don’t piss me off.”
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alright
you guess you deserved that one
you sigh quietly and turn onto your back to stare at the ceiling. “i’m sorry.”
he doesn’t respond
“i was selfish. what i did was selfish.”
again, no response
it’s quiet between you two
real quiet
until he finally speaks. “can i be shallow for a second?”
huh?
“oh,” you mumble. “go ahead.”
“you know,” he starts, “i married you not only because i liked you so much but because i thought you were the most beautiful woman i’ve ever laid my eyes on.”
he continues, “well, in all honesty, i still do.” he doesn’t move, just continues to give you his cold back. “aside from having imagined to spend the rest of my life with you because i really believed it was going to happen, you, as a person, are everything i wanted and more.”
you continue to stare at the ceiling, feeling a tingle in your body that starts at your feet and slowly grows throughout the rest of your body.
“and not to be fucking gross but you turn me on so fucking much. was watching you eat my food last week and got so fucking hard just looking at you. you’re so elegant and sexy with everything you do. i look at you and feel so fucking lucky to have been part of your life.”
you clench your jaw in an attempt to block yourself from breaking out into a sob
“i can’t put it into words, y/n but, no matter what stage we’re at, i’m always gonna be so fucking attracted to you. stretchmarks and loose skin—i literally can’t bring myself to give a fuck. i don’t care what size you are or if if you’re bigger than you were at 18. isn’t that normal? you carried a baby for nearly a year. so what if you weigh more now? whatever. more to love.”
….
oh
oh.
okay.
and that’s
how you
start tearing up
your heart feels like its been shattered into a million pieces
and it’s yoongi who is holding the level 100 5 star sledgehammer weapon
but it’s also yoongi who has unlocked the ultra healing magic buff
“it must have been so hard for you.” he slowly turns onto his back too, allowing you to look at the side of his face. “i’m sorry for not taking all of it into consideration. in my defense, i’ve always thought you were perfect.”
you sniff quietly and bring your hand up to wipe your cheeks. you shake your head. “don’t apologize. please.”
it’s quiet again and he continues to stare at the ceiling in silence
“i just wish you would have been comfortable enough to tell me.”
and you wish that too
but it’s embarrassing
and humiliating to even think about, let alone trust someone else with it
he finally turns onto his side to face you. “i really do mean it when i say you’re the most beautiful woman,” he pauses, “until we have a daughter. then she’s gonna be the most beautiful cause she’ll look like me.”
a soft giggle escapes you as he jokes, welcoming it with open arms
you look up at him, eyes glued to the small smile on his lips
“i’m so sorry, yoongi.”
“i know you are. i am too.”
“are you mad?”
he thinks about his answer for a moment. “i was at first. thought i was gonna smash my car with my bare fists.” he nods. “but i don’t think it’d be right for me to be mad at you for struggling so much with something i failed to see. i guess i’m just..” he sighs. “upset about the whole thing. it could’ve been avoided.”
you sniff quietly. “how? how was i supposed to tell you i just wanted to enjoy more time with you when it was me that forced the divorce down your throat? it wouldn’t be fair, not to you.”
how are you supposed to tell the man you forcibly kicked out that you weren’t ready to let go of him?
he rubs his forehead. “why did we ever let it get that far?”
you stay quiet
sniff again
wipe your nose and wet cheeks
“because i was selfish and childish. i wanted you to chase me and convince me that i only belonged to you.” it feels good to finally speak honestly. “i suppose you were done playing those games.”
“why were you still playing those? i thought we could be adults so many years into our marriage.”
“because,” you start, “i was bored. i didn’t do anything. i was home constantly, i didn’t go out. i didn’t have shit to do. you were barely home,” you say shakily, trying to swallow down the sob that’s threatening to spill
“just wanted to feel something whenever you showed up but i was just…” you sniff again. “…so mad at you for leaving me lonely that instead of trying to fix things, i wanted to piss you off. make you mad. make you feel the way i felt.”
it’s quiet
you try to stop yourself from sobbing quietly but to no avail
“so long story short, you started shoving divorce papers down my throat in hopes i’d chase you and just say fuck you to my responsibility as your husband and jun’s father to make sure we had food on the table.”
well
you don’t even really respond to that
because isn’t that basically what happened?
yes, sure, you were bored
but yoongi’s feelings shouldn’t have been messed with
he doesn’t say much else
just turns his back to you again and says,
“let’s sleep.”
and you try.
even though it’s nearly impossible with that agitating knife that’s nestled in your heart.
to be continued
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ardourie · 28 days
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ok cool ig im name dropping then, u are literally making up headcanons about me based on fucking nothing, i didn’t exclusively focus on the flaws of white trans people over cis white people if u actually read anything i posted instead of believing anons randomly accusing me of things you’d see my only issue is white people like YOU because you are white
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watering down the impact of racism and pretending that it isn’t as harmful when coming from queer people as if being queer is an inherently purifying or redeemable action, this website is overwhelmingly trans, our circles are majority trans, getting into disagreements with trans people on here is going to happen bc of how many queer people there are on this platform, if the only people you claim i harassed are users like ratliker i don’t want to fucking hear it, i’ve been having people call me a terf for years bc of standing up to her racism and black genocide denial, every single fucking time someone on here does something racist and a brown person points it out ppl around you run to call them transphobic, like ur doing right now! the second sentence of her post literally says i deserve to be called a terf for just talking about the racism happening on the poll, she said that HERSELF
i said hussie has done racist acts and has racism in their comic, that doesn’t make hussie evil or fans of it evil it just means we should actually acknowledge its there and not have viral post going around claiming that none of what hussie did was that bad bc they’re trans and if ur bothered by it ur automatically transphobic, as if that isn’t an incredibly fucked up thing to say, bc u said that urself on ur blog multiple times, here’s my original and ONLY post that made someone go and tell plaidos i sent death threats when that wasn’t remotely what i was saying
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plaidos posted this ask that immediately had ppl in my inbox calling me a terf and bigot for harassing a trans girl (hussie) and saying im a horrible person for sending death threats when i NEVER did that, had no reason to, and hussie isn’t even ON tumblr to do that
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she also stated that she meant i “started” the death threats instead of sending them which is still a fucking lie bc the poll that i was referencing was posted FOUR days ago and has ppl fighting and talking about death threats about hussie before i even knew it fucking existed, and she would know bc she was arguing under the post four days ago HERSELF
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how did i start death threats on a post i didnt find out about until 4 days after people were fighting under it? how the fuck does that work?
she then went on to slip up and reveal that she subconsciously thinks the queer community is only white bc when ppl complain about white queers they r complaining about latent racism, bc brown people exist in ur community and acting like poc criticizing white people (who will always be white no matter the other identities they have) means u hate queers is racist as hell
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shit like THIS is what hussie was doing on a constant basis
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these are just two examples you could google “homestuck racism” and find much more my only point that i ever made is that it’s insensitive and fucked up to act like anyone who doesn’t like or even hates homestuck for its racism is a transphobe or evil instead possibly someone deeply affected by hussies racism, and plaidos was under the original poll post i referenced arguing with black people calling them liars for saying hussie is racist and has antiblackness in his work:
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if you recognize hussie is racist and has racism in their work why the fuck are you arguing with black people about that fact? why are you pretending people are lying and making up rumors when hussies racism has been a known fact for a literal decade at this point, hussie was quite literally responsible for a boom in antiblack racism online in the early internet you cannot be so dense as to not acknowledge this, and i want to clarify im literally a homestuck fan, homestuck meant so much to me as a kid, and bc of that i know that online spaces for homestuck treated black people like absolute shit for complaining about the racism, i was bullied and harassed so much for even being upset at characters in the comic using the n word or mocking black people, im criticizing it bc i care about it being such a large phenomenon responsible for the normalization of my oppression.
not going over the homestuck racism workshop thing bc u ppl r being purposefully obtuse and i already talked about it here
if you don’t believe me, please go ask the people accusing me of these things for screenshots of me sending death threats, ask them to show that i have no transfem friends, ask them to show it bc every fucking time theirs never any proof, stop believing ask u read about me with no proof stop believing rumors, put urself in the shoes of others, would you want hundreds of ppl sharing post saying you did something you didn’t fucking do with no proof? ask yourself why you don’t see many black people speak out on racism on here and ask urself if maybe it might correlate to how we get demonized for it, if you think callout culture is bad why participate in it in a way where you don’t even have photo evidence backing for what your sharing
lastly, u people keep going on and on about the company i keep but are the same ones cropping out the trans girls im friends with and constantly talking to on my blog, you did it with the last situation regarding aaron bushnell you did it with the previous pregnancy callout, yall literally accuse every trans girl around me of being self hating or theyfabs, random trans women who simply shared my opinion have been harassed and accused of being sock puppets, i have a whole post about that in my pinned, but u don’t care, it’s easier to make me a scape goat and deflect criticisms of racism despite you being white and unaffected than it is to simply go “yeah some people are gonna hate media that has racism in it and that isn’t indicative of anything other than hating racism” your fucking white, can we be serious right now, you published ask saying i was sending death threats to hussie when that never happened and accused me of starting the anger on a poll i never reblogged that a bunch of my trans girl mutuals were complaining about 16 hours ago, so which is it? transfem opinions matter to you or they don’t? bc it seems like u just pick a fucking choose which girls to listen to and like randomly going after black people for not liking antiblack racism
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stars-and-the-min · 26 days
Text
☆ the wrong way to hard launch (3) | OP81
summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au
pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc
a/n some band dynamics and a mini reunion in toyko
masterlist | last part | part 3 | next part
INSTAGRAM
emptybottlesbar
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liked by cameliazzz and 99,284 others
emptybottlesbar Hey! Our awesome lead guitarist turned 23 today AND it's on the first night in Jakarta 🫨 Be sure to give our boy some love! P.S. we couldn't find old birthday photos without Lina (1: Kas' 23rd birthday, 2: Kas' 17th birthday, 3: Kas' 14th birthday) tagged: emptybottles_official, lukaszhang and selinabui
selinabui i'm sorry i was like his only friend growing up?
28kaslina24 kaslina 🩷❤️🩷❤️
emptybottles_official Beach City International Stadium
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liked by lukaszhang and 299,726 others
emptybottles_official Snaps from Jakarta, you guys were an amazing crowd, we hope you had as much fun as we did 📸 📸 next stop: Tokyo, Japan
cameliazzz kas and aid both need haircuts why did i not notice this ↳ selinabui @ cameliazzz maybe bc ur behind them all the time
TWITTER
lila💚 @kasdanrights · 2h in honour of the next stop of the 'twelve more days' tour being tokyo, here's the best thing to come out of the 'overtime' tour (before it got cancelled):
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↳ lila💚 @kasdanrights · 2h look at kas serving in that polka-dotted scarf
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↳ lila💚 @kasdanrights · 2h the greatest discovery was that kas and aid shared rooms the whole tour
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↳ 🕯️manifesting EB3 🕯️@ linabelles · 2h did we ever find out about the sushi train thing? ↳ lina bui x2 grammy winner @urdaisea · 2h lina and cami went to an all-you-can-eat sushi train and almost missed night 2 because they were throwing up backstage ↳ li(n)a @meliabelrose · 1h why is this giving "pam and i feed off each others energy..." "she said that?" energy 😭😭 ↳ abby <3 @devilvows · 1h can't believe this was 4 years ago???
INSTAGRAM
oscarpiastri
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liked by landonorris and 109,182 others
oscarpiastri Still not over this weekend
selinabui see you soon stranger 💖 ↳ pastry81 HUH LINA WDYM SEE YOU SOON???
zhouguanyu24 the last picture 👀
landonorris great to be home, eh?
emptybottlos papaya stuff, papaya stuff, papaya- lina??? ↳ piastri_lina @emptybottlos gagged us all WHERE'S THAT COMMENT THAT SAID OSC DIDN'T CARE FOR HER
logansargeant "I did great at my home race" "the fans were amazing" "also I got to watch my girlfriend's sold-out tour's opening show" ↳ oliviafufu @ logansargeant OPENING SHOW??? HE WENT ON THURSDAY AS WELL?
selinabui Tokyo, Japan
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liked by eb_jonno and 118,972 others
selinabui in the daytime (and early evening)
oscarpiastri Well, that's a completely flattering angle of me, thanks :D ↳ selinabui @ oscarpiastri omg i think so too 🥰
jemma.wren lina as linabell oh she's so cute <3333
2cami4lina serious question here, does he wear anything other than orange? ↳ cameliazzz @2cami4lina from when i've seen him? no
aidan_ebass Who won billiards? ↳ selinabui @aidan_ebass ur kidding right? don't you know how amazing i am? (kas did) ↳ 28kaslina24 @ selinabui kas was there? oooh osc*lina never beating the pr relationship allegations 🤭
oscarpiastri just posted to their story
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TWITTER
pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 17h OSCAR PIASTRI WHAT THE HELL??? ↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 17h i need to know what he said pls what did he say for her to react like that ↳ june @linafesting · 17h "mr piastri why are you wilding rn" HAD HER USING PROPER 'YOU'S??? ↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 17h "Wdym 😇" he's sick for that now we all want to know what he meant
kayla @luna_apocolypse · 2d if my math is right... we could get lina supporting oscar in suzuka ↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 2d last tokyo show: friday, april 5th suzuka gp: friday, april 5th to sunday, april 7th first sk show: friday, april 12th BONUS: osc's birthday is april 6th 🥸
conNUH @chickenbirch · 39m idk what world im living in anymore ↳ conNUH @chickenbirch · 38m lina pls... he's just another pasty white guy i--
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↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 18m oh shit im realising my 'im totes interested' face is lacking ↳ president linami @ linaminami · 16m AHHH??? ↳ lila💚 @kasdanrights · 1h HELP i didn't realise she was totally blanking out as kas was yapping ↳ june @linafesting · 1h she truly looks like she'd rather be anywhere else ↳ camilina gfs fr @ drummergf · 2h kaslina stans realising the new kaslina content is this 🤡 ↳ lila💚 @kasdanrights · 1h first pic is the exact same way i look at my brother (sheer 'stfu' energy)
BONUS : the unedited insta dm
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✧・゚: ✧・゚:✧・゚: ✧・゚:✧・゚: ✧・゚:
taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit @fionaschicken @namgification
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screeching-bunny · 7 months
Note
Helloooo my fave yandere!character writer! I hope your having a wonderful day! Can i request yandere!jock with male!reader and he finds the reader crying bc someone was bullying them or said smth mean or smth like that? Ik he would be pissed but i was thinking something along the lines of this:
*Reader explains what happens*
*Yandere!Jock absolutely pissed and turns to go beat the shit out of them*
Then the reader would grab is arm to stop him and say smthing like: “wait!…please…..please just….stay with me….please?” Like EEEEEEE I LOVE YANDERE!JOCK SMMMM AND IMA PASS OUT IF YOU DO THIS! OKAY THANKS BYE
(Also plz ignore if your requests are closed rn)
Yandere! Jock x Male Reader
Asks 2
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Warnings: Obsessive Behavior, Yandere Thoughts, Bad Writing, Stalking, Reader is specifically going to be Male in this post!!!
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Asks 1
Yandere! Jock liked looking at you whether it be intention or not his eyes were almost always on you. He loved looking at every expression you made throughout your day to day life and practically memorized every fine detail on your face. So it was no surprise that he was instantly alerted when he saw a hint of sadness appear on your face when you came in for your afternoon class. Like a little leach he started attaching himself towards you with a concerned look on his face to find out what had happened to his little darling but alas his attempts reamied futile as you refused to give him an answer that he accepted.
“I’m just tired and just didn’t get that much sleep last night.”
Tired his ass. Yandere! Jock knew for a fact that you fell asleep early last night while watching an animal documentary. How does he know this? Well, he was stalking I mean watching over you last night. Anyways the sentence “The giant horse cock weighs over eight pounds” was still fresh in his mind but that's not the point! The point is something or someone made you upset! This is honestly so absolutely unacceptable!! When class finishes he ends up cornering you to try and figure out what has happened to you. Soon you start to give in and tell him the exact reason as to why with tears bawling out of your eyes.
When he finds out the reason he is beyond pissed. A bunch of npc bullies had the audacity to go and bully you! There is nothing he wants to do then skin those losers alive for making you cry like this. How fucking dare they. Yandere! Jock immediately decides that at that moment, he would go on a manhunt. He genuinely believes that it’d be a good riddance, no way in hell is someone going to miss them. As he tries to get up, he is immediately stopped by you as you grab ahold of his arm.
“Please stay, I don’t want to be alone right now.”
Holy shit! That sentence damn near put him in a coma. He just can’t believe how adorable you are. With that, he decides right away to bring you to his home in order to comfort you. The rest of the day is spent with just the two of you guys together while watching Netflix and ordering out to eat. All of his plans that he had before were canceled in favor of being by your side. He does his best to make you happy and laugh as much as possible. That smiling face of yours suits you better than a teary eyed expression. Although he can’t do it now, he vows to absolutely destroy the lives of your bullies. The mental and physical wellbeing of yourself matter more than anything in the world to him. Anything that causes harm to you he quickly deals with even if it means people. All that he wants is that you’ll be safe in his arms and by his side whenever he wakes up.
He makes it a point to prove the words of you tormentors were false and does his best to undo their claims. He’d be so appalled by the whole situation and just can’t wrap around his head at how someone could be mean to you. Like just look at you! You’re literally perfect what the hell were they smoking when they decided to verbally assault you. Yandere! Jock would be so overbearing and clingy towards you. Wherever you went he was close behind you. You’re going grocery shopping? Cool he’s right by your side. You gotta go to class? He’s right by you. Even if he doesn’t have the class he’s still coming. Showering? Move over and make room, he wants to shower as well. Is totally the type to throw a fit when you say no which causes you to relent and let him follow you.
In a few weeks after this incident there were missing people reports all over town of local college students. The same ones who coincidentally were vicious towards you. Everytime Yandere! Jock walks past these posters, he has a hidden smug look on his face. Justifies it by saying that he’s doing it in the name of love and that those people were the spawns of Satan. Besides, they're not even dead yet. They’re just trapped in a cabin in some random woods that only he has access to. Content with himself he spends his days by your side and pledging to himself that he’d never let anyone bother you ever again.
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hannie-dul-set · 4 months
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STAR STUDDED BAGGAGE [1].
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SYNOPSIS. the saying “never meet your idols” exists for a reason. you just didn’t expect the reason to be because said idols would end up declaring that you’re their alleged lover from a past life (past lives, rather). now you have three big celebrities vying for your attention, and it’s not as dreamlike as you imagined it to be.
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PAIRINGS. choi yeonjun, choi soobin, choi beomgyu x female! reader. GENRES. reincarnation! au, celebrity! au (soloist! yeonjun, actor! soobin, rock band member! beomgyu), slight college! au, slight historical! au, rom-com, angst if you squint, reverse harem woohoo. WARNINGS. swearing, secondhand stress HHAHAHAH. WORD COUNT. 2.9k.
TAGLIST. @seokgyuu @spjhyn @bat-shark-repellant @writingmeraki @lotties-readings @jenodreamer @gyuspeach @lexawoah13 @dvalitaes @agustdiv1ne @enhacatalog @soobs-things @tocupid @wonsays @kgneptun @sarang-ae @peaceout97 @outrologist @prettypei @luv4cheol @captivq @kueey @matcha-binz @loveherrschxr @haechology @bitehee @laylasbunbunny
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NOTE. and so it begins!! grabbed seventeen’s “second life” and gave it to beomgyu’s band, by the way. future chapters will be a lot longer bcs this one is sort of just an introduction. please lmk what u think so far!!
MASTERLIST | NEXT >
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CHAPTER 1 — the consequences of working with a choi.
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One.
“I told you I won’t do any romance dramas!”
Choi Soobin isn’t usually one to throw tantrums. He’s gentleness itself, says the media. The loveliest, most humble and soft-spoken angel to have ever graced South Korea’s entertainment industry. Interviewees praise him for being so kind and warm. Award-winning actor Lee Minyuk decided to adopt him the day they first met while working on a drama just a year ago.
He’s so nice, so sweet, so lovely— a stark contrast to the roles he usually plays, but that doesn’t take away from the songs of praise that articles and Twitter posts usually string along with Choi Soobin’s name.
All of this is true of course. As long as you’re not contractually obligated to babysit his whiny, picky, six foot tall ass every single day.
“Soobin, why don’t you give it another—”
“This is ridiculous,” he huffs, crossed armed on the sofa with a tattered script sitting on the low coffee table before him. Manager Lee feels a headache kicking in. Why is this bastard acting up when the interns are in the office? Those two simply wanted to deliver the scripts for Soobin to pick from, but they are looking at his actor’s surprising behavior with wide eyes. Now, it’s going to be his job to make sure that they don’t run their mouths about the nation’s alleged first love actually being a spoiled brat.
“Soobin,” Manager Lee exhales for the nth time. This script is from Writer Kang. The Writer Kang! She wrote this script with you in mind as the lead. Can you at least maybe reconsider—”
“I’m not doing it.” Soobin won’t budge. He’s got a visibly troubled and offended look on his face and his manager wants to smack him upside in the head. How could he not understand that this is an opportunity of a lifetime? “Hyung, you know the reason why I even signed to this company in the first place. I’m not doing it. Absolutely not.”
He picks up the script like it’s a dirty rag— disgusted expression to match— only to reveal a page that suddenly prompts him to throw the entire thing across the room. The two interns flinch. Manager Lee feels his hair turning gray by the second.
“There’s a kissing sce— agh! Gosh! What will my soulmate think if she sees me kissing another woman?!”
“Soul...soulmate?” unfortunate intern number one voices out hesitantly.
“Is...Choi Soobin seeing someone right now?” asks number two, and Manager Lee wants to retire early. His actor is still ranting on and on about how there’s no way in hell he’s taking on this role. He doesn’t really wanna deal with that right now.
“No. He’s not seeing anybody. He’s never been in a relationship before.”
Manager Lee knows this because he’s been Soobin’s manager since the young star was still seventeen, when he was still as nice and well-behaved as the tabloids made him out to be. That same kid is now a grown adult and shuddering over a possible kissing scene in a screenplay. “Ahh. I can’t do this, I seriously can’t do this, hyung!” Fame does change people. Manager Lee wants seventeen year-old Soobin back.
“Then...then who is his soulmate…?”
It’s hard to imagine that an A-List star like Choi Soobin is suffering from unrequited love. “A woman from his past life,” answers Manager Lee. “Or so he says.” The interns look at him. Come—come again? their expressions seem to say. Manager Lee lets out an exasperated sigh. This one’s even harder to comprehend.
“Hyung,” Soobin finally calls out for him. Lee returns his attention to his artist, who’s now flipping through the other scripts on the table with an even more disgruntled expression. “Hyung, are these all the offers I have? They’re all romance! Don’t we have other options?!”
“The CEO wants you to expand your roles, Soobin,” Manager Lee flatly replies. “Your fans too. You can’t keep doing action-mystery-thrillers forever. It’s a waste of your visuals. They want to see you in lighter things too.” He walks over to pick up the first rejected script from the floor, dropping it in front of Soobin, who is currently a deflated balloon.
He’s changed. But sometimes it feels as though his artist hasn’t grown up ever since they first met.
“If you take Writer Kang’s drama, you’ll get even bigger, Soobin.”
“I’m not interested in fame,” Soobin mumbles, shoulders slacked and dejected. “I just want—”
“If you gain ever more fame, expand your reach, won’t that mean your soulmate can find you sooner as well?” Soobin takes the bait. He flinches upon hearing the word he’s been chasing after ever since, a glimpse of consideration flashing through his expression as he nips down his bottom lip. Manager Kim lands a hand on his shoulder. “Think about it, kid. You shouldn’t waste opportunities like this.”
Soobin lets out a breath. “I’ll...I’ll give it some thought.”
Dear god, finally. Manager Lee ushers out a sulky and troubled Soobin out into the hall with the script hugged against his chest and tells him to relax for the day. “Don’t overthink it. Just do what you want to do,” he says, after gaslighting him into positively considering the role. Still, Soobin needs this. He’s been stagnating since his last project, Study Group. He needs to switch up genres if he wants to improve.
“Wow,” intern number two exhales the moment Soobin leaves the premises. “You really are a veteran, sir. But does Choi Soobin’s soulmate really exist? Who is he looking for?”
Manager Lee shrugs and drops onto the sofa with a grunt. “Beats me. He doesn’t even know her name.”
*
Two.
“Yeonjun! Choi Yeonjun, look over here!”
“Choi Yeonjun, you look good today as well!”
“Please give a heart to the camera!”
“Fuck! Choi Yeonjun, you’re so fucking hot!”
That last one made Yeonjun’s mouth twitch into a smirk, and the screaming instantly became louder. Unintentional, but he relishes in the attention, anyway. He flips down his sunglasses to block the flashing lights from the cameras (causing another unintentional pandemonium), and his manager (Kim Noona, he likes to affectionately call when she’s about to yank out his hair roots for misbehaving) quickly ushers him into van before his rabid fans break through the bodyguards’ defenses and jump him.
“Good work today,” says Manager Kim as they start to drive away from the fansign venue. Yeonjun has his window rolled down and is blowing air kisses to the crowd. Ignorance is bliss, Manager Kim decides. “However, you don’t have time to run a catwalk on the way to the van tomorrow since you have another schedule immediately after the fansign. Try to strut for two minutes max tomorrow, please.”
“‘Kayyy,” Yeonjun hums, rolling the tinted windows back up and leaning back into the car seat with a satisfied groan. They’re on the way back to his apartment now. Time for him to start his routine. “Noona, do you have all the letters I got today?”
“Look to your left.” 
And there it is indeed— a stack of notes and envelopes and perfume-drenched messages of love and adoring affection. He flits through each one, skimming over every note and every letter like he’s looking for something. “Sleep early tonight,” Manager Kim tells him as he knits his brows, nearing the end of the stack. “You have a shoot in the morning, in case you forgot.” 
Yeonjun is back at the first letter he started with. Nothing, he lets out a sigh. Not one that he’s looking for.”
“Noona,” he calls out. “I’m going live right now.”
There’s a bump on the road.
“No, wait—”
[🔴 yawnzzn is live].
“Hehe. Yeonjunnie is here—!”
Manager Kim abruptly stops the car. Thank fucking god the road isn’t too crowded. She watches Yeonjun from the rearview mirror as he smiles at the outstretched camera and makes casual greetings and hello’s to the viewers, heart racing in fear. “Right now? I’m on the way back home. Can’t wait to get a nice shower once I get back.” Okay, she lets in a deep breath, starting the car once more. Yeonjun isn’t doing anything weird yet. Better to drop him off as soon as possible.
“Nooo, I haven’t had dinner yet, I’ll order once I get home. What do you guys recommend?”
He’s being normal. He’s acting fine. This is good.
“Ramen? That sounds good. Kimchi jjigae is also yummy.”
Maybe he just wanted to interact more with his fans, yes. He’s always been like that. Maybe he won’t say anything rash this time.
“Oh! The video with Mark Lee from NCT? Did you see us hugging? Hehe, Mark and I look good together?” They’re almost at his apartment building. They’re almost here. Once they arrive, Yeonjun will turn off the livestream and Manager Kim can finally fucking retire for the day. “That’s cute. But it’s too bad. I’m already interested in someone else.”
Screeeech!
The car stops. “Yeonjun.” But Yeonjun’s live stream is still ongoing. “Turn off the live.”
Yeonjun is smiling at his phone in painful ignorance. Manager Kim doesn’t miss the one second glance he spares at her. One second. One mere second before he starts inciting chaos even more. “Who? That’s a secretttt. I don’t want to tell you.”
Manager Kim’s phone starts buzzing. “Yeonjun, turn it off.” The buzzing won’t stop. Her personal phone starts going off as well
“Ah. Should I give you a hint?”
There’s an incoming call now.
“Choi Yeonjun, turn off the god damned—”
“Okay!” Yeonjun suddenly exclaims. He flashes a knowing smile to the camera, but his dearly stressed and overworked manager knows that it’s directed to her rather than the thousands of people witnessing the artist she’s in charge of stirring his third rumor of the week. Her phone won’t stop buzzing, it can be used as a fucking vibrator at this point. Choi Yeonjun is lucky he rakes in most of the agency’s profits— otherwise his contract would be terminated by now. “I have to go. My manager looks like she’s about to fire me, hehe. See you all tomorrow! Mwah!”
Just like that, the live stream ends, but Manager Kim’s phone is still incessantly ringing and beeping and giving the signal that Choi Yeonjun will once again go trending on Twitter— not in the way the company wants. Again. “Kim Noona?” Yeonjun calls out. “The light is green. The cars behind are honking at us.”
Manager Kim’s grip on the steering wheel tightens. “Yeonjun.” And they start moving again. “What are you gonna do once you get home?”
“Post a damage control photo. Got it.”
He knows. He knows yet he keeps pulling the same shit every week.
“Good...good— just,” his manager lets out a sigh, and they arrive at the front of his building. “No matter what I tell you, you won’t stop pulling these stunts, aren’t you?”
“Nope.” Yeonjun flashes her a grin, unbuckling his seatbelt, ready to slide the door open. “Thanks, noona! See you tomorrow!”
With that, Yeonjun leaves with a bounce in his step right after the mess he just made.
The problem is, Manager Kim can’t tell him to stop either after knowing exactly why he’s doing all of these scandal-bait, potentially career damaging things. It’s not something she can believe in, and it’s definitely not within the realm of reality. But after seeing the look on her artist’s eyes when he said— how many more headlines must he make until you can finally find your way back to him?
Well. All Manager Kim can do is work PR to their deaths for damage control.
*
Three.
“Why don’t we kick it off by listening to your latest single?”
Studio lights burn the set. Five seats are settled in place, four against one for an interview with one of the hottest K-Rock groups of the generation. Yeong-Il released a new single just earlier in the week, and it’s topped the charts ever since release. 
If I am given a second life I may live and breathe differently compared to now
Lee Heeseung looks happy to be here. So do Yang Jeongin and Lim Jimin. Choi Beomgyu, on the other hand, looks like he’d rather be anywhere else but here right now, complete with the faraway look on his face as he’s clearly not paying attention to the comments the host is making, instead drowning in melody and lyrics hummed by the speakers.
Among the streets we’ll walk past each other without knowing
“It’s quite different from our usual music, no?” Heeseung laughs.
I hope we remember each other
“Right!” Jeongin chimes in. “But I think we should hear from the man who produced and wrote this.”
Even in our next life Even at that time, I’ll go to you
“Choi Beomgyu!”
Even in our next life Even at that time, I’ll go to you
“Beomgyu, are you awake?”
Even if a second life That’s different from now comes to me The one thing I can say is That I’m going to be by your side
“Beomgyu!”
“Ah.” Beomgyu finally wakes up. He catches the concerned and nervous glances of his friends-slash-bandmates. Beomgyu takes the microphone from Jimin, tapping it once, before saying, “What do I do? It’s a little embarrassing to talk about this by myself.” Jeongin fails to hold back a snort at his lack of sincerity. Jimin sends him a nudge with his elbow. 
“Hey, this isn’t the first time you’ve written a song. Quit acting coy,” Heeseung manages to salvage the conversation, invisible sweat dripping down the side of his face. Beomgyu finally decides to stop stalling and answers the question.
“Well, anyhow, I think you can tell from the lyrics. Second Life is about a love that extends beyond lifetimes— promising that even after we’ve lived, died, and reborn as different people, there is still no one I’d love but you.” There’s some coughs from his bandmates. Beomgyu presses his lips into a smile. “That’s it.” And passes the microphone back to whoever reaches out for it first.
This kind of behavior from Yeong-il’s guitarist and vocalist isn’t new. 
The problem is, even though his team and fans are used to it, not everyone is, so the show’s host is taken aback by Beomgyu’s complete lack of care, unaffected and impenetrable. He stifles out a cough, flits through his cue cards. “O—oh, how romantic!” he exclaims. “I’ve noticed that a lot of your other songs that Choi Beomgyu-ssi has written seem to have a similar theme. Isn’t that right?”
“Yeah, it’s not really a secret, and it’s honestly pretty obvious,” Beomgyu answers, earning another nudge from Jimin. 
“He doesn’t seem like it, but Beomgyu is the biggest romanticist out of all of us,” Heeseung saves the day once more. Choi Beomgyu has been once dubbed as the biggest hurdle in every interviewer’s career. Nobody knows if he’s doing it on purpose, or if he really is just like that.
“We—well, can we ask what your inspiration is for writing this kind of music?”
It’s not a new question. It’s a question asked interview after interview to Choi Beomgyu whenever they release one of his songs riddled with his signatures of reincarnation, second lives, and first loves. But he’s always avoided answering them, sometimes going as far as outright telling the host that he doesn’t want to answer.
Though his bandmates are indeed both dreading and looking forward to the day Beomgyu would finally make a public answer to that million dollar question—
“Myself.”
—they certainly did not expect him to answer with the truth.
“What?”
“The tracks were inspired by myself,” he says, face flat, free from any sign of humor or jest. “I’m still waiting for my first love from my first life. There must be a reason why I still remember her and the life we shared. Doesn’t that mean we’re both destined to meet again?”
Silence washes over. Everyone on set is looking at Beomgyu, waiting for him to laugh or smile or crack a joke or some shit just to give an indication that he wasn’t at all serious with that statement. Their managers are frozen. They’re all looking at Heeseung to finally and neatly wrap things up before the mood gets worse.
Heeseung gets the signal. He quickly snatches the microphone from his friend and starts making bullshit up and praying to god that this part gets edited out. “Aha—ahaha, Beomgyu really likes to remain in character! That’s how much he takes his music seriously! Anyway—”
The rest of the interview turns up normally. No unexpected backstory reveals or trauma-dumps. No mentions of possible supernatural phenomena whatsoever and that’s mostly because Beomgyu decided to keep quiet for the rest of it.
He’s seriously a ticking time bomb, all but him share the same thought upon exiting the studio, until Heeseung finally confronts him about it when they reach the van.
“Dude, what the hell was that?”
“I know, I know. You don’t have to nag me,” Beomgyu groans. “We can ask them not to air that part, anyway. I’m just getting impatient.”
Impatience.
That’s a mutual feeling shared by all three of them. 
Twenty years. That’s how long they’ve been waiting. Centuries, if you count the period in between their previous lives and now. But when the person they’ve been waiting for finally shows up— patience will be a virtue that they’ll need to learn to strengthen. Patience. They’ll need to be a hell of a lot more patient if they want to take back what they lost.
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STAR STUDDED BAGGAGE. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.
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wh0relibrarian · 4 months
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sunshine
a/n: a continuation of this post, although altered to be a summer break instead of winter. completely got lost in that 😭 please excuse any informalities, i’m still getting used to writing in second person (or smut for that matter), and tumblrs post format! so don’t be mean ;(
context (if you don't want to read the previous post): Reader is visiting her hometown for the summer. A rising grad student who just so happens to bump into Sukuna at the airport. After quick introductions, he gives her his number in case she gets too lonely...
content ahead: southern sukuna au, black coded!reader, afab!reader, d referred to as dick bc i don’t like using “cock”, v referred to as cunt or pussy, age gap (reader in her early 20s, sukuna is in his early 30s), cowgirl, daddy kink, rough!sukuna (but he’s still a softie), needy!reader, clit stimulation, nicknames such as sweetheart, princess, baby/babydoll, creampie, ass/face slaps, lots of praise, a decent amount of plot
word count: 3.9k
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
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You’ve been texting Sukuna for a week now. Off and on, trying not to seem too interested, but interested enough to keep his attention. It sucked that he was a man very obviously out of touch with technology, because you can’t find pictures of him anywhere. Not even a Facebook page. You’ve just been grasping at straws, trying to remember each detail of his face. Each tattoo. You didn’t even get enough time to admire the one’s on his face, way too engulfed in his general appearance.
And oh, Sukuna. That poor man. He knew from the moment he saw you that you’d keep him up at night. From the curvature of your lips— only being the opening act to the beautiful smile you had hidden beneath. He tries to remember what color your shirt was, but can only remember how plump your tits looked. Practically spilling out of a… tank top? Or maybe it was a crop top. You had a jacket on, which he knows was gray because you kept trying to wrap it around your waist like you were embarrassed by your body. He couldn’t figure out why, though. You’re beautiful from head to toe, every part of you.
But today, today was the day you’d ask him to take you out. Or just ask to go out in general. Hell, you’d take anything at this point.
You: Hiii Sukuna. How’s your wrist feeling? I know a couple days ago you said it was progressively getting worse, any updates?
Sukuna: Hey babydoll. I think it’s all good now. Nothin a lil icyhot can’t fix. How are you?
You: I’m happy to hear that :) and I’m okay, just bored, per usual.
Sukuna: Ya know I’m always around.
You: It’s funny you mention that… I was wondering if you were busy later today? Or tonight. Either or, whatever works best for you. If you would even want to do anything of course.
Sukuna: City girl finally ready to get some sunshine?
You: Don’t make fun of me 😑
Sukuna: Oh I’d never do such a thing. Are you free right now? My lunch break’s comin up, could use the company.
You: Yes I am! I can be ready in 15, I’ll send my address.
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You weren’t as nervous as you thought you’d be. You know you looked good, you felt good. You put on a casual outfit, just a pair of bell bottoms and some old t-shirt your mom left around. This wasn’t a date, and you didn’t want to scare him, so you treated it like a normal hang out with a friend.
He picked you up in an old pickup truck, run down from the years spent riding on dirt roads and an occasional swamp. (Things can get messy the further south you go.) It was normal where you’re from to have at least one beat up truck per household, so his car was not a problem. You were all smiles, nearly skipping your way to the passenger side. Sukuna rolled down the window and he too had a bright toothy smile plastered on his face. It almost looked malicious, but you overlooked it once you got in. Something about his presence had you in a trance, you couldn’t focus on anything else but him.
When you opened the door, he stretched his arm out to help you into the chair. You made it a point to act as if you were struggling to get in and shut the door, nerves suddenly keeping you from wanting to look him straight in the eye. “Damn sweetheart… just look at you,” he said while leaning his body back, taking a moment to take in your appearance. “Hiii Sukuna, you aren’t too bad yourself,” you said giggling.
“We’re just goin’ up to Milo’s, hope that’s luxury enough for ya.”
“You think I came dressed like this for somethin’ luxury?”
“Well if that ain’t luxury, I’d be curious to see what is.”
Smirking, Sukuna went back to putting his full focus on the road. The butterflies in your stomach had died down, finding his presence incredibly inviting and safe. You were looking out the window for a while, until his hand found yours which was resting on your thigh. You turn around to him surprised, only to see his eyes still trained on the road in front of him. His hand clasped yours and gripped it tight, and you found the silence warm, like a gentle hug you wanted to last forever.
The lunch date was sweet. You both ordered cheeseburgers, fries, and a large sweet tea; reveling in its taste since it had been some time since you had genuine sweet tea. He started asking you about your schooling, learning that you’re majoring in business and will soon start working on your master’s degree. This charmed him— you were both alike even if it was in different ways. You’ve always provided for your mother, and so has he. You won’t stop reaching new opportunities, and neither will he. As the date went on his attraction only grew deeper. Your physical appearance did not mean much to him, you were to die for, but right now he wanted to know every single thing about you and didn’t care about anything else.
But… this wasn’t to say he’s not a curious man.
When ordering the food, you took a step back to look at the entire menu. This caused your skin tight shirt to rise up ever so slightly, showing off your cute tummy and belly button piercing. You noticed him staring, and he was never one to lie.
“Sukuna, order some damn food and stop looking at me like that,” you slapped his large bicep jokingly, making that same smirk from earlier slowly grow on his face.
“Mmm, you hidin’ that accent from me girl. Soundin’ so pretty bossin’ me around.”
You could tell the cashier felt a bit awkward at this point, so you pushed Sukuna in front of you to get him to focus.
Even though he would have moments like those, you didn’t feel like he was objectifying you. It never became the focal point of your conversations. It seemed like he was genuinely interested in getting to know you and it made you feel so… different. Sure you were young, but you’d never experienced such a natural yet interesting conversation with a man. You were shocked by it, to say the least, and it only made you want him more.
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After that day, you two were basically inseparable. He made it a point to try and see you after work, and if there was a day where he couldn’t do it, he’d make it up to you x2 the next day. He immediately started spoiling you, whether it was food or sending you money for new makeup, it’s like he couldn't do enough for you. You were always beyond grateful, and would even tell him to tone it down a bit, but he’d always say, “Princesses deserve princess things.”
It’d been around four weeks of this, the dates would get more romantic, and his time with you only more cherished. Although the flirting continued to grow, he never made a move on you. You definitely didn’t want to be the one to initiate anything. Maybe there was a reason for him not wanting to get physical, but not even a kiss? It was killing you at this point, every night you spent just dreaming of what his pretty lips felt like on yours. Not being able to help your hands traveling down to your aching pussy. You were so horny it hurt, and nothing you did could satiate the feeling; knowing good and well that his fingers— let alone his dick could reach spots you didn’t even know were there. Your own fingers would suffice for now, but you would be leaving in just a few weeks, you needed to know what Ryomen Sukuna was like in bed.
So, the next time he picks you up, you make sure to look drop dead gorgeous (not like he didn’t think that about you regardless.)
A few days ago, he paid for your hair and nail appointments. Large knotless braids with curly pieces coming out of them, and the prettiest french tip set you’d ever got done. You told him you wanted everything to be a surprise, and that you were planning to get a new outfit as well AND that he didn’t have to send you money for that. But you know he did anyway. The plan for this night was a drive-in movie closer to the heart of the city rather than where you both resided. There was a wing place you loved, different shops, and the movie would be the last activity.
After picking up a new sundress, a black one with thin straps and a slit at the bottom, you felt confident enough that tonight would go well. You took a shower when you got home, lathered your skin with shea butter from head to toe, and put on all the gold jewelry you owned.
There’s no way he wouldn’t want to fuck you dumb.
As always, dinner with Sukuna was to die for. He was such a gentleman, making sure to pull your chair out for you, telling you to get whatever you wanted from the menu. “Don’t be scared sweetheart, want you nice ‘n full.”
You shopped for a little while after, well, it was really window shopping. You felt so bad that Sukuna was paying for everything, even though he always insisted. You decided to just point out all of the things you liked, kind of like a test— if he really liked you then he’d remember all these things for a future event.
The drive-in was dead. Which I guess isn’t too surprising, you can’t remember the last time someone talked about seeing a movie here. Nonetheless, this was your dream scenario. With basically no one to catch you guys, it was the perfect breeding ground (literally.) The movie was some rom-com looking thing in black and white which you begged to watch, only because you knew neither of you would want to pay attention. Once he grabbed some popcorn and soda from the concession stand, he pulled up in front of the big projection, claiming he needed to be as close as possible because of his eyesight. After a few minutes of pretending to be interested, you turned to him and finally broke the ice.
“‘Kuna, do you like me?” Sukuna couldn’t believe the question.
“Of course I like you baby, why else would I be here?”
“Well,” you started, “I don’t know…”
“Oh, you know.”
“I know you like me, it’s just like— we aren’t like… you know.”
“Gonna have to use your words sweetheart.”
You looked forward as you tried to find the best way to say this, you decided to just rip the bandaid off.
“We haven’t kissed! Or anything! You just hug me or wrap your arm around my waist, but we haven’t done nothin’ ‘kuna. And I’m not sayin’ that’s any indicator of how much you like me, I’m just sayin’ it’d be ni—”
You anticipated this kiss, not only because you did everything in your power to set it up, but you could feel Sukuna’s eyes latching onto the way your lips moved while talking. His lips were just as soft as you imagined, tasting like cherry carmex and popcorn. His hand found its way to the side of your face, cupping it gently until he moved it to tilt your chin up towards him. Your mouth opened a little from the change in angle, giving Sukuna’s tongue access to the warmth yours had to offer. He melted deeper into the kiss, and so did you, as it continued to get more sloppy and wet. You could tell he was eager, swirling and dancing on the tip of your tongue, sucking it harshly like he was trying to gather as much saliva as possible. Just to pull back and have it leak out of his mouth, dripping down both his and your chin. It was downright nasty the way your fluids were colliding, but it turned you on an unbelievable amount. Whining and groaning into him, rubbing your thighs together, lacking the correct amount of friction from wearing a dress instead of pants.
Your hand started traveling to his chest and lower, and he could tell you were really riled up at this point simply from the way you were tugging on his shirt. He pulled his lips off yours, making you reach out for him still since your eyes were closed. When you opened them, you were able to see the true mess you two caused. Sukuna was drooling, his heavy lidded eyes not daring to move from your frame. His hair was everywhere, and you couldn’t be happier with your hairstyle of choice.
“Fuck baby,” he said while rubbing on the sides of your stomach, “I really need you. I’ve been needin’ you. Yer just so damn sexy, of course I’ve been wantin’ to do stuff. Just didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable.” He leaned in to kiss your cheek and up to the shell of your ear, “Never want you uncomfortable.”
And that sent you over, you cupped his face with both of your hands, kissing him hard. He growled from your sudden dominance, and with a few swift movements, pulled his seat back and slid you over the middle console and into his lap. Your dress hiked up to your thighs once you straddled him, allowing Sukuna to feel just how wet you were. With one hand on your face, and the other on your waist, he slowly made his way down to your cunt.
“So fuckin’ wet for me,” he whispered against your lips, making slow circles on your puffy clit. “This f’me? Say it’s for me babydoll.”
“It’s for you ‘kuna, it’s all for you. Please–” His fingers slid your panties to the side, revealing just how sticky you were for him. Your pussy was basically crying to be touched, and Sukuna was a gentleman, of course.
His mouth never left yours, left hand now resting behind your neck, while his other is furiously rubbing your bare clit. Your moans were being swallowed by Sukuna’s mouth, and when the pleasure finally got to be too much, you suddenly threw your head back with a yelp. Catching yourself immediately, you press your forehead into his.
“‘M sorry, fuck, ‘m sorry— it’s t-too much.”
“Don’t apologize princess, I love seein’ you act like this. So slutty.”
Your tits have barely been able to stay concealed in your already showy dress. They spilled out on their own from your sporadic movements, and once Sukuna could see one, he dropped everything to unveil the other and fondle them both. You kept grinding on his very hard dick, keeping up the rhythm he set up for you while he went to town on your boobs. Massaging them, pinching and flicking the nipples, mumbling things like “fuckin’ shit they’re so soft,” and “need to fuck you.” It wasn’t long before he popped one into his mouth, sucking on it, making it soo much more sensitive. You were squealing at this point, Sukuna looked up at you to see the tears forming at the corner of your eyes. With a ‘pop’ he brought his attention back to your beautiful face. Somehow fucked out just from dry humping. How cute, he thought to himself.
“Look at me, princess.” You struggled, but your eyes met his, still striving for your release. “‘M gonna fuck you, okay? Is that what you want?” You started nodding your head yes like a damn puppy.
“Need to hear you say it princess. Tell me you want it.”
“Wan’ it s-so bad baby, fuck me, I need you to fuck me.”
The thing about pick-up trucks is that there’s not really a backseat, which means you’d have to ride him right where you were. This wouldn’t have been a problem, until Sukuna quickly pulled down his pants and boxers, revealing probably the biggest dick you’ve ever seen. It was the fucking length that scared you. It wasn’t too thick, but girthy enough that it, plus his length, would have your legs shaking for days. He gave his dick slow strokes while you took off your dress, suddenly feeling embarrassed from being the only one naked. He could see you get self conscious by the way you try and hide yourself like the day he met you.
“Whatcha lookin’ at me like that for,” his eyes were still focused on yours while he prepared himself, licking his lips like he was genuinely going to eat you later.
“I can’t look at ya? You just look so damn good sweetheart. Can’t believe yer all mine.”
“You don’t have to gas me up now,” you said looking away.
“Nuh-uh,” he grabbed your cheeks and turned your face back to his, “I’ma always tell you how good you look. Don’t act so shy now baby.”
Your pussy clenched around nothing at his statement, still leaking from the previous foreplay. He pulled your forehead to his lips, kissing it tenderly, and when he let go of your face he asked you one last time if you were ready. You whisper out a shy yes and grab his dick cautiously, lining it up with your entrance as you slowly lower yourself onto it. You let out a sharp grasp as Sukuna rests his hands on the sides of your hips, trying to assist in any way he can. Once you’re close to bottoming out, he starts whispering praises.
“Doin’ so good babydoll.”
“Look at you takin’ me so well.
Every time he spoke your pussy would clench around him, making him hiss and choke back a whine. Once he was all the way inside you, you let out a breathe you didn’t realize you were holding. You raised your head to look at him instead of the way he was stretching you out. There’s that smirk again. One of his hands finds it’s way back to your clit, rubbing slow circles like before to help you relax. You were so tense but you tried to keep a level-headed face, even though it literally felt like you were being split in two.
You felt your walls get used to his size and shape, feeling them contort and mold into Sukuna’s cocksleeve. With that, you start riding him slowly, using his shoulders to stay balanced. You got the hang of it quickly and began picking up pace. He was still stimulating your clit, using his other hand to keep guiding your body up and down. It was clear that you were struggling to take him all in though, pausing every few seconds to catch your breathe or readjust yourself. And this would just not do for Sukuna.
He gripped and slapped your ass hard.
“Gotta do better than that baby.”
Smack
“C’mon sweetheart, put your fucking. back. into. it.”
Each emphasis on a word was coupled with a hard thrust and loud whines coming from the depths of your throat. The sounds you were both making at this point bounced around the truck. There wasn’t a moment of silence and you felt blissful. Lulling your tongue out just for Sukuna to catch between his teeth; moving his hand back to bully your clit, and using his free hand to grab your face and continue fucking his hips up into yours. He was growling obscenities into your ear, “Yeah baby, just like that keep fucking me like that.”
“Sukuna, please! Fuckfuckfuck I can’t,” you were bouncing on his dick beautifully, tits bouncing in unison and he truly believed you were unreal.
“Yes you can baby,” he gave your face light slaps, “keep those eyes open, keep lookin’ at me baby. Doin’ so good, I promise.” You were leaking like a faucet down his dick and balls, and with a certain thrust, you were sure he was hitting your cervix. The string of cries that came out of your mouth made him go faster, harder, knowing that he finally found the spot that makes you weak.
“Am I makin’ you feel good baby?”
“Mhmm, y-yesss, so so good.”
“Yes who?” Your eyes were crossing trying to look at him, confused at what he meant at first, but as his thrusts got rougher you knew exactly what he was getting at.
“Y-yes daddy, it feels so good.” You were slightly embarrassed by the things you were saying, the noises too. You felt so dirty, but in a good way. Searching for your release that was so close.
Sukuna was close too, but he didn’t want that to come before he made you gush all over his dick. When he found his way to your neck, kissing and biting and sucking on your precious skin, you were done.
“Fuck daddy right there!”
“Here sweetheart? You like this?”
“Yesyesyes don’t stop please don’t stop–” and with a cry you were creaming all over Sukuna’s dick. Your pussy clamped down on him so tight, he couldn’t help but look down at the beautiful mess you made all over his thighs. He kept fucking you through your orgasm, causing you to become incredibly overstimulated. Sukuna was getting close, you could tell by his relentless strokes, forgetting any type of consistent pace. His hands were on your hips now, pistoning up into you as your head rested gracefully on his shoulder.
“Mm babydoll gimme a kiss, c’mere.”
When your shaky lips met his, he was sent into overdrive.
“Fuck ‘m gonna cum. Fuck baby, where do you want it.”
Absolutely fucked out, you tried to come up with some sort of cohesive thought. “I-insi..de ‘kuna. In m-me.”
“You sure? Tell me you’re fuckin’ sure, yer milkin’ me baby.”
“I’m s-sure. Please please just cum inside me!”
“Oh, fuckkk…” Sukuna’s load filled your pussy to the brim, leaking out to coat the sides of his dick. He made you feel so full and warm. Finally stopping his thrusts, you hunch over his shoulder and he begins rubbing what feels like hearts on your back, humming into your ear how good you were for him, dick never leaving your pussy.
“Did such a good job princess. So fuckin’ good, are you an angel? Must be an angel, the way you dropped into my life like this.”
“Mmmm I’m your angel ‘kuna. I was made for you only.”
Although the moment was wholesome, your mind immediately flooded with the thought of you leaving in a few weeks.
How were you supposed to leave after this?
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
hope you enjoyed ;) and let me know if i missed anything as far as my content ahead section goes!
tags: @aiyaaayei
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lowkeyrobin · 1 month
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Hiiii! i love ur writing and was wondering if u could do Tommy, Quackity, Niki, Charlie, and Philza with an s/o (close friend for Phil) who is in a riot grrrl band???
stuff like this:
HAVE A NICE DAY/MORNING/NIGHT:]]]
oooo okay!! I can definitely try! I don't listen to many riot bands so excuse any weird stuff that doesn't totally make sense ; have a nice day/night to you too 🫶🫶🫶 ; made sure to make this as gn as possible for everyone so I apologize if it goes against the more feminine aspect of the genre/kinda ruins it 🙏
MCYT ; riot band
includes ; tommyinnit, quackity, nihachu, slimecicle, & philza
warnings ; language
y/b/n = your band name
y/f/n = your fandom name
masterlist
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TOMMYINNIT
he loves your music
you're the heaviest band he listens to 🙏🙏 he does try and get into the genre more because he does actually enjoy your music
you're the lead singer for your band, so every time he hears your vocals, he gets all smiley, even in public, which he tries to hide
will make sure to attend every single one of your gigs and record the whole thing LMAO
if he's like the perfect distance away from the stage, you'll sneakily look at him to help your nerves and make it feel like he's the only one in the room
he helps you write lyrics as well/get inspo for new songs
"and it goes in a rythym like ba-dada-bum-ba-dada-bum, yknow?"
extra points if your band sounds a lot like Hole or Veruca Salt, bc he'd definitely have some of their songs on a playlist
casually your biggest fan, always reposting gig dates and playing your music on stream
leaving comments under picture posts on the band insta like "come back to brighton for my birthday please, I beg" and "its to early to be served perfection, wait a few hours :("
he doesn't always make sense but he's loving and absolutely loves your music dw
NIKI NIHACHU
she is the number one fan
she got your bands top listener and has over 15k minutes of listening time by the end of the year
you're lead guitar, so she's always interested in watching you play and how you move your hands and fingers to create such a cool sound
extra bonus points if your band uses that kind of echoey down to your soul feel, kinda like suicideboys or lil peep (best examples I got bc I'm not into this genre very much lmao)
always bringing you up in conversation as well
if anyone's looking for bands to listen to, you're a million percent the first she suggests
you show her new chords you wanna use or expand on and she just watches and listens so intently
always playing your music on chill streams and recommending her viewers to listen to your band, and always points out that its you playing lead guitar
"personally, I think you should be winning a Grammy this year"
"ehhh... MTV awards are better"
"I'm gonna go get you nominated for the MTV awards then, I'll be back"
"I don't think that's how it works!-"
ALEX QUACKITY
he mostly listens to stuff like victoria monet, the weeknd, childish gambino, sza, etc
but being dragged into the rabbit hole of riot bands expanded his music taste a lotttt
you're the lead singer of course (main character hours)
yk the clip of him on the qsmp and metro boomin randomly starts playing? that happens but with your band!
"whoops- I-I have no idea why the hell that started playing, sorry! the last thing I was listening to wasn't even y/b/n, the fuck?"
he gets all his close friends hooked on your music as well
bonus points if you get a more grunge kinda feel in there like foo fighters or nirvana
always posting pics of you from gigs or reposting pics of you/your band
and always leaving comments like "vocal lessons when?" and "gig near you ✅️ gig near me ❌️"
always roasting your music as a joke as well
"the blueprint 3, one album, solos y/b/n. sorry y/n"
"must I bring up-"
"nope!"
CHARLIE SLIMECICLE
he looks like the type of guy to secretly have a 200 song long playlist of punk music idk
you're the bassist, and he loves making you play shit on stream for him lmao
also loves reposting anything relating to you and your band, fanart, random rants about your music, gig dates, new music release dates, photos, etc
don't get him started on the edits
he'll randomly blurt out random noises and rythyms and boom, writers block gone, new song? made.
serious bonus points if you sound the slightest bit like joey valance & brae
you show him how to play bass a bit as well
always recording every gig, he's so proud of you, plus the lights make you look so good
always talking about you as well
"my partner is a bassist in a band, I think they solo all of you losers"
"Charlie what?? when were we talking about significant others?"
"since I said so, bitch!"
cue video game car crash
he has a little thing in the bottom of the stream screen with the album cover w a spinning record next to it, and on top is the song & band name. 80% of the time it's just your band
^he uses that during his stream starting soon segments, bathroom/snack breaks, or chill streams on the qsmp
PHILZA
he and kristen both love your music
he sees you like his kid so he's going the extra mile to support you all the time
from streaming your music in the car to reposting and posting about gig dates, new music and merch drops, etc etc
you even have your own little section in his Discord titled 'y/b/n chat' (and another for announcements about your band/notifs OK social media titled 'y/b/n announcements')
when spotify wrapped comes around, your his third most listened to artist, and kristen's second LMAO
"aweee thank you father, I appreciate your loyalty to y/f/n and the band 🫶"
always bringing up your music as well, especially when streaming with friends
"Tommy, did you listen to y/b/n's new song yet? I think you'd like it"
"wait wait hold on lemme pull it up"
he goes to a few of your gigs with kristen and he's just chilling in the back like a proud parent
you always find him and smile because he's there cheering you on
he's more of a dad than your actual dad bro
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Text
on the subject of Frank, Frank & Julie, and Franklydear 
I used to think that Frank will probably be one of the more skeptical puppets, and prone to being one of the first to see that not all is as it seems. And I think the majority of us think/thought this! 
But thanks to Riv i have entirely changed my tune. I think Frank will actively be avoiding the truth & clinging to the illusion. Here’s why!
Frank is portrayed as the most “rigid” neighbor - hell, it’s even part of his design! He likes routine, rules, for things to be ‘just so’ in his eyes. He doesn’t seem to like it when things stray from how they’re supposed to be. Everything has a time and a place. 
(and this might be mildly insane but blame Riv not me bc they said it, but in Just So Frank says “i like it best when red goes in front of the rest”, and if red is Wally… dot dot dot…) 
Then there’s how Frank will very likely be trying extremely hard to be something he’s not. And this is part of his design, too - he’s the only one in the cast without a natural blush. Yes, we’ve seen art where he can blush, but that’s in specific situations. In the bio images Frank is the only one without that little extra bit of color to his cheeks - he has two huge red splotches on him instead. Fake blush. Big and bright and impossible to ignore. 
And I’m gonna be diving a bit into Franklydear & Frank’s relationship with Julie because it’s important to this. 
I have also changed my tune on Franklydear - slightly. Welcome Home seems to be an example of nonlinear storytelling, as we’ve been getting bits and pieces from all over the place. The Live Interview from the early days, WHRP & Wally’s secret vinyl audios from “now”, the bug audios from an indeterminate time… so while I do think Franklydear is “already happening” within the main meat of the “past”, we will likely also get a chance to see before and after. And I do think there will be an after.
But I’m getting ahead of myself! Why do I think we’re going to see an established Franklydear? I’m going to be honest. A kofi post that I accidentally saw when a friend was sharing their screen with me and didn’t notice until it was too late </3 I should have looked away! But I didn’t, and that’s on me! I won’t say what I saw (it would be a theory anyways, nothing explicit or concrete in the evidence!) but it immediately convinced me that Frank & Eddie are in a secret relationship. I want to say more very badly, but if i’m proven right in tonight’s stream then I will be sharing Why I’m right. 
More reasoning that is obvious with this context - the whole “Mr. Dear / Frank- i mean Mr. Frankly!” thing might be part of this fabricated distance. I would completely believe you if you told me that Frank had them both refer to each other professionally to keep up the facade that they’re nothing but neighbors, nothing going on here nosiree. They definitely don’t meet in the woods to be romantic! That added with how unusually playful Frank is with Eddie in 8-14 is interesting… though I can also believe that those audios are from “before” their relationship, given that Frank seems to be dropping a hint with the whole “ You don’t need to be that familiar with them in order to get to know them better!” line. I don’t know - there are a bunch of contradictions that could be them acting, could be differences in the timeline, who’s to say yet! 
Anyway, so Franklydear is likely in a secret relationship, but I think Frank is going to get scared, call it off, and try to force a relationship with Julie. As in lying to her and everyone that he has feelings for her, and fulfilling their “destiny” in becoming a couple. I think Frank is where a lot of the internalized homophobia is going to come in.
In most of the Franklydear art we’ve seen from Clown, Frank seems to be very nervous and flustered around Eddie while Eddie seems to be more calm and forward. Frank has already proven to have a bit of a nervous disposition - he’s certainly high strung. That combined with his rigidity, the airs he puts on, and just… everything about him really, I don’t think he’ll be able to handle the pressure. 
(side note: the way that Clown said that he wishes they hadn’t let everyone know about Franklydear, it’s ok because it’s “not a major spoiler” has been fucking me up a little. Wym it’s not a Major spoiler? It’s so funny… we’ve all been like “Franklydear will be Thee relationship and a big thing-” and then it’s Not. lmao) 
Then there’s the song Clown associates with Franklydear, “Esperar pra ver”. @/Theneighborhoodwatch gave a translation/interpretation of the lyrics - cannot for the life of me find the og ask/post to link, but (if I’m remembering correctly) it was essentially said that the song is about love that doesn’t last / lost love. My friend Akemi (@/akemima <3) provided an alternate interpretation - to quote:
“...to me, it speaks about how they’re both Unable to speak up about their love? and the “wait and see” part is most likely them waiting for the other to make a first step or like. something Hopeful yknow?”
As both a tragedy enjoyer and a happy-end enjoyer, I wouldn’t mind either interpretation being accurate, personally! So Akemi has given us a sprinkle of hope for Franklydear! I think that both interpretations have merit, and hey, they can coexist. We might have them together, then Frank getting scared and calling it off, and then a “third arc” of them wanting to be back together but unable to (yet). Who’s to say! 
ON TO THE JULIE PORTION.
For a while I thought that Julie might be the one to pursue a relationship with Frank - both because of the subconscious influence of her “Role” & that she’s bi while Frank is gay. On surface level she would be the most likely of the two to get the wrong/mixed signals and Go For It.
However. Nothing about this project is surface level. 
I’ve already mentioned that I think Frank is going to try very hard to be something he isn’t. And this is backed by how his relationship with Julie is portrayed (another thank you to Riv for pointing a lot of this out & smacking some sense into me <3) 
Frank is all about rules and matching. Julie is all about improv and independence. Riv pointed out that in “Just So” the audio distorts when Frank is changing bowties and Julie asks if it “really matters”. They also pointed out that, apparently in the Halloween outfit references, Frank’s notes indicate that he’s matching with Julie - but Julie doesn’t have any reciprocating notes. It implies that she was doing her own thing and Frank adjusted himself accordingly. Julie goes along with Frank sometimes, but it seems that it’s usually Frank scrambling to go along with Julie. She’s been described as independent and stubborn. Frank is a bit more of a conforming pushover (no offense Frankie, love ya to bits <3). 
Frank is the straightman to Julie’s… I can’t reference the bios anymore but you know! He might be her straightman in more ways than just “he takes things seriously.” 
And really. Frank likes routine, he likes things to be consistent. He’s been with Julie as her best friend / “partner” for so long that I’m not sure if he can easily break away from that - I think a change as big as getting romantically involved with Eddie would terrify him. It might be thrilling for a moment, but then the fear will set in. 
I thought Julie would be the one clinging to Frank, but it’s the other way around isn’t it? 
Frank gets scared & then leads Julie on because he’s trying to act “normal”, the way that’s expected of him. And it fits. One of WH’s themes is the fear of being shunned for / perceived as different by others. Once they know what you are, will they treat you the same? 
And I don’t think Julie would be entirely opposed, either. I wouldn’t blame her for developing a crush on Frank. I mean, it might turn out that she’s “just going along with it” because she feels the same pressure and fear, but hm… I’m not convinced of that given what we know about her character. But if Julie has a little crush on Frank, I wouldn’t be surprised if when he forces himself to like her & initiates a relationship, she either realizes that it really was just a crush, or she’ll pick up on how Frank doesn’t actually have feelings & act accordingly. This option has more merit in my eyes. I think it would also reflect on the “love” theme of her house - I’ve speculated since pretty much day one that she’ll have an arc around realizing that she doesn’t need a relationship or even really want one at present, going against what Playfellow likely wanted from her. 
(and then I start thinking about the whole livestream trivia thing of Julie maybe falling down a hole or into some abyss… and the concept art of her shoes where she’s standing at the edge of a dark abyss… does she fall, does she jump, or is she pushed? If she winds up being pushed, who does it? Barnaby (milk theory babey!) or perhaps she’ll get in a fight with Frank and in the heat of the moment he accidentally causes her to fall, either by pushing or making her lose awareness of her surroundings (backing off of the edge?). I’m aware that this paragraph is a stretch all around! Don’t take it too seriously! A pinch of salt, people!)
There’s not much else to be said so, in conclusion:
Welcome Home’s storytelling is likely on a nonlinear timeline, Franklydear is established but won’t last, and Frank/Julie is probably going to become a temporary thing
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