#posting on its own bc op deleted the post

[rainbowtvz]

*grits teeth*

i do not want to discourse here or anywhere anymore but it does kind of affect me as a transmasc bi person when i see shit that indirectly misgenders me and implies that bisexuality is an icky no good word and identity and you have to be bi and gay and bi and lesbian and bi and straight at the same time or support them or you're an evil stinky stinky terf like... hello where am, i

[coridallasmultipass]

Going through my old blog posts again, and fUCK!!!!

Another fucking BroCal post that Tumblr bans have taken from me, it's just a broken link now. If anyone knows where to find the original post somewhere else, or has the images saved, please, PLEASE, LMK. God, I regret not saving everything before 2019. Tumblr has taken so much. Ugh. I just wanna live in the nostalgia!! Why did they have to remove all these old posts...

[storm-of-feathers]

I'll make the post then it's literally fine to disagree with people you respect and/or your friends. It's very normal to not agree with everyone on everything.

[cecils-dragons]

So you prolly don't remember this bc it was back in 2019 but you liked a post by xxdemonic-heartxx with this content:

"An opinion

I get body positivity. But if you weigh close to 350-400lbs from fatty tissue you should get some help. Human bodies cant function as well as they should with that type of stress on the skeleton and joints and its gonna compromise your organs. Body positivity is okay but fat acceptance isnt. I’m not fatphobic. I’m concerned for the longevity you’re losing and the health conditions you’re pulling in. And the dangerous mindset that humans should be and can be fat. Yeah. Some fat is okay. But if you body fat percentage is 32% for women and 26% for men (or higher). Thats obese and very crippling to your health. Take care of yourself. It isnt a crime."

That plus the fact you never drew fat ppl (not like just little pudgy but actually fat) got me to the conclusion you must be fatphobic, so I have had you blocked but you still crossroads my dash sometimes bc tumblr is functional website. So after all these years is once again saw you on my dash so I thought I'd send an ask, it's been years and I was wondering maybe you have changed and you don't hold these views any more.

I know I am a spiteful bitch for remembering this. The op has deleted their blog and all I have is a screenshot I thought just sharing the post content would work since I am not here to make a callout post or want ppl to harass you I just want to make you think about your past and maybe present biases.

Thanks for more information on the ask as it was a bit scary to see after being woken up in the middle of the night by my dog barking.

Okay, you may be getting me mixed up with someone else because I don't follow xxdemonic-heartxx, I recognize them in our community but I don't follow many people because I like a curated dashboard and like even less stuff, so even if I liked it back then, first, I was 19, and second, likely a misclick because I don't like to interact with stuff like that for the sake of my own mental health as I deal with body dysmorphic disorder. I of course can't 100% say what I was thinking or clicking on around that time as I was 19(now 24) and due to trauma I don't really remember much around that time.

For the second part yeah, I was 19 and still getting use to drawing bodyily diverse people and when learning to draw you get taught to draw slim people as a default. I'm getting much better at it now but it was never because of prejudges, just ignorance and staying in my comfort zone. I don't really mind or care being blocked because of that because it's your opinion about me and I can't control that.

At the base, I would not be considering myself to have ever been fatphobic and I am sorry if it has come across that way as it's of course never my intention to make any group of people uncomfortable. I'm of course open to talking more about this if I am missing anything.

[yonemurishiroku]

speaking of which. the PJO fandom, like any other west-based fandom, is too spoiled for its own good. in my manga/anime fandoms, if you so much as mention another ship in a post that is not intended for said ship, you'd be bombarded until you have to delete your comments and leave with your tail between your legs. It's almost taboo to cue other ships into the OP's shipping post, unless specifically allowed. Doesn't matter if that mentioned ship is canon, or widely supported, or confirmed by the author or whatever.

Why? Because you'd never know whether it's something they like or tolerate, at all. DO NOT ASSUME JUST BC IT'S CANON EVERYONE HAS TO LIKE IT. And it's called respect to have each other's interests at heart in what's supposed to be a community space.

With how it is going in this fandom, however, some of you wouldn't survive a day and idk, if worse comes to worst, get your ship more haters just by being an obnoxious fan.

I'm lucky bc there's not much that can trigger me in terms of fanworks and fanshipping. It also allows me to see through some people's ego to assume that their ship is more superior than most just bc it's canon, which is fucking stupid, if i may say.

[lesbiancolumbo]

Question from the genuinely ignorant what is The Post?

because this is a good faith question and this was so long ago, i’m gonna answer it and then respectfully and kindly ask people to stop asking, and i think once you read my answer you’ll hopefully understand why lol

in 2017 as an extremely suicidal and isolated 23 year old, i watched lady bird after a really long and difficult weekend of being with my emotionally and verbally abusive mother. the movie was good but extremely triggering for me - i saw a lot of my self and my mother in the film. instead of killing myself that night (and i’m not being flippant, i walked home from the theatre to my tiny little apartment contemplating stepping onto the highway) i decided i would just get it all out somewhere. at the time, letterboxd was a small website and i was a no-one. i wrote a review and vomited all of my feelings.

it’s not a good review. i wasn’t even really able to fully articulate what my own relationship with my mother was at the time. i was still too young and vulnerable to her abuse. but it made me calm enough to go to sleep and start a new week, so i did. it got no attention, except from some friends who liked it and knew my situation.

cut to literally new year’s day 2021. an eighteen year old on tumblr finds my review, screencaps it in its entirety, and posts it on here. it makes it way onto my dash. at first im shocked - that’s me! and i think i reblogged it to say that hey, that’s me! omg! wow! after i did that i almost immediately regretted doing that, because the attention and harassment i’ve received in the THREE YEARS since this post has gone up has honestly been so detrimental to my mental health. my fucking FACE and NAME are in the post bc the op didn’t bother to crop them out. every day i wake up and thank a higher power that my mother hasn’t found this post. people made fun of me, downplayed my (admittedly not very well articulated) experiences, armchair diagnosed me and my mother, posted my letterboxd icon which was MY REAL FACE on this website to MAKE FUN OF MY APPEARANCE and insinuate i deserved everything that happened to me. white supremacist blogs were SPREADING MY FACE AND NAME AROUND.

i got a lot of followers and attention and wanted none of it, and because tumblr is a website and the internet is written in ink, a post never truly gets deleted, and now every 6-12 months my privacy and something i impulse wrote in a moment of pure and true pain gets spread around this website and i can’t do a god damn thing about it.

and like……… i get it. it clearly resonated with people. and i don’t like drawing a hard line. but the violation and the harassment that proceeded from it for MONTHS has made me intolerant. the op of that post is the same age now as i was when i wrote that review, and i hope to god they learned from that experience, because i still have to deal with the ramifications of their fucking choice.

and it sucks. because i love lady bird. but my health is already precarious and i do not want to go through this all again.

[saetoru]

About that entitled ass post about x reader, op was definitely wrong but a small point was made.

I agree with your response but I'd like to add that, unless you've stated that certain characteristics or features will be present in reader, certain kinds of ambiguity is necessary, especially in appearance.

To make a character completely void of any backstory or personality is just bad writing period but to add an appearance is a little ...

As a black reader, reading about certain things that are supposed to reflect the reader is genuinely disheartening. I'm talking about things like referencing imagery of lighter skin (such as refering to readers skin as pink, pale, creamy, etc) or something like a character running their fingers through the reader's hair or having a hair washing routine that can be done in the time it takes to have a regular shower. I know with people with big bodies, having descriptions of small, light bodies is also disheartening.

Bc, once again, unless it's been stated that those are a part of reader's appearance, it's a little unnecessary bc it shows that although it's x reader it's definitely not for us.

I don't expect writers to write about specific events or characteristics about different cultures and such bc that can also go south REAL quick if you aren't properly educated or aware but a little diversity never hurt anyone

I know that some people do this out of genuine dislike of darker skinned/bigger people but I know most people do it out of genuine ignorance.

Unfortunately, you cannot bring up including people who don't fit typical beauty standards (pale/light skinned, long straight hair, thin/slim bodies) without people telling you that not everyone has to cater to you.

But the thing is, we're not asking you to cater to us; we're just asking you to include us in your vision of reader. You don't need to add specifics of everything regarding different races or cultures but you don't need to add specifics that exclude them.

And then when we go to create our own stories that do envision us, we're met with so much hatred and backlash about it like that one deleted comment on op's post.

I'm sorry for ranting about this but it so frustrating sometimes when people don't understand this. I brought up something similar to this topic once before and got death threats in my mentions for weeks (that's why this is anonymous)

ALSO, I'm not accusing you of any of the things I've mentioned in this ask. Based on what I've read from your work so far, the reader is actually someone you can enjoy reading about without feeling excluded when appearances are mentioned

Btw I adore your rich boy gojo series and would love to continue reading your work ❤️

im afraid you missed my main point and also, u are talking to someone who is literally a POC so i am definitely not in need of a rundown of how important it is to write reader in a manner that does not perpetuate western beauty standards. writing a reader that is inclusive for people in a manner that doesn't solidify western norms is important, but writing a reader that is an all encompassing fit all type of thing in terms of personality and decision making is not

its not that their point ab mistagged gn! readers and white/western physical features weren't valid—it was, but it was sprinkled in their main point that writing reader with personality is an oc and is not belonging in the tags and writers should focus on writing generic hcs instead. they used the issue of race and gender and other minoroties to support their idea that readers have to be ambiguous from all fronts, and that is a very twisted way to use actual real issues to justify your tantrums ab not liking dialogue or what the reader chose to do. my point that i was trying to make is that writers are entitled to write however they please as long as they tag what features of reader are set there. if they mistag that, then yes, that is something you should bring to their attention (politely) because then it misleads ppl to think this fic includes them. but that also is not done through a rant in the tags because that does not belong in the tags

quite frankly, to pair racial and gender representation issues as comparable to not aligning with the choices a reader takes to develop as a character and to put those two on the same boat takes away from the issue of inclusivity. inclusivity of a reader does NOT equal to how they think, process, feel, and progress in the storyline. not fitting in with the actual character of reader is incomparable to racial representation issues and misgendering tags and etc. the latter are REAL issues. the first is simply complaining bc u did not see urself in a plot

the actual problem with their rant was that they were using REAL issues to justify entitled complaining and that is why i did not validate them in that. yes writing reader as white and not tagging it is an issue. yes giving little to no thought to poc readers in writing is an issue. yes mistagging something as gn! while using gendered terms is an issue. but they should not be the backbone to an entirely different argument that essentially censors people

[sh1-n0bu]

saying that something 'is fictional' does not equal condoning it in real life. People say that their dark content stories are fictional because .. they are. These are not real scenarios or wishful thinking, they're exploring a dark subject in a fictional environment with characters that are not real, and it's really messed up how folks (including you) will dogpile on and attack just because someone saw a post they didn't like the tags and content warnings of, then decided to take it public.

This is evidenced by the fact that the original op hasn't even *read* the fic in question. It was tagged properly, they could've avoided it if they filtered out content they didn't like, yet they CHOSE to engage with it and take it public.

Imagine if your posts were taken out of context in that way. What if people started calling you a zo/ophile because of your dragon posts, despite the fact that dragons aren't real? I doubt that'd feel great for you, especially if you suddenly had a bunch of outraged people in your inbox accusing you of animal abuse because you ... Wrote a story.

And honestly, if you feel the need to participate in these sorts of discussions by jumping in headfirst on the first callout post you see disparaging people then it might be time to take a step back from Tumblr for a while. In most cases, social media like this is not a productive conduit for conversations and it just winds up being a slapfight about who can send the most petty, mean messages to one another or coerce more people into harassing the other until they delete or deactivate.

i havent seen the writers blog but a mutual of mine did and they said that the writer seemed to be in a not so okay mental state as they had said smt smt abt being in love with their own brother who is a real person and was trying to defend their fic. as ive said, in my current opinion, dark content writing and consuming is fine if its done in a healthy manner. but defending it just seems wrong yknow?

and yeah, like youve said, i am done with tumblr. i dont understand why you decided to come here anon when i stated in my latest anon answer that i was finished with talking about this thing. tumblr is becoming a not so safe place it seems. i am sorry if the things ive said/write were harmful or negative, i was simply trying to say that condoning dark content bc it was simply fiction and romanticizing it was weird. that was all i wanted to say

[effervescentdragon]

hi there! just wanted to let you know, i was told the op of the tigers vid is a terf ☹️ (you can answer this privately if you want)

i went to check and its literally in their username :facepalm:. that's the thing with me - i legit don't pay attention to any names or usernames or whatever, and so these things happen. i have a queueue that goes out twice a day, 2pm and 10pm, and i have no idea what's in there too. so what IM gonna do is delete the reblog and post tigers on my own bcs they deserve to be posted by not a terf. thanks for letting me know tho, much appreciated. <3

oh and if it's not clear, terfs are not welcome here at all.

[jyndor]

Good. You should do your own research and not just believe me. Also, by saying "this might not be something you care about", I just meant that a lot of people do not care who the op of a specific post is if they agree with the specific post and honestly that's fine, too. But then there are people who will immediately block and delete posts if the hear op is a terf or a tankie.

fair enough but I will say it is actually a bit odd to me to compare tankies with terfs. tankies can be moronic and fall into enemy of my enemy shit with russia but terfs are fascists like ??? also edit but I feel like a lot of people call all communists tankies which... lmao naur. It's a term that I feel like sometimes people use for all sorts of communists, not just mls.

I block fascists, racists and terfs on sight. I give so-called tankies a bit of leeway until I see them being genocide deniers, and undoubtedly that does happen a fair bit. that user idk they seem more interested in the war ending than being like a shill for fascist putin but there were some posts that made me go ehhh definitely unfortunate "I'm annoyed about this bc libs care about Ukraine and I hate libs" vibes. as much as libs are unbearable, I don't discount all liberals as allies. like actually many of us were liberals before we were leftists lmao so I don't love that energy I'm seeing.

I will say that there is a lot more sympathy for Russian soldiers than there is for IOF soldiers. let alone American soldiers. tbh you're never gonna catch me feeling bad about any of these soldiers dying in expansionist, imperialist wars of aggression. like I understand drafts, I understand that it's easy for me to say I'd rather go to prison than ever serve in the military, butttt I would. so no sympathy for soldiers who do harm because ~they had no choice. there's always a choice.

it isn't Russian propaganda to discuss the azov battalion in theory but in practice most people who talk about it overestimate the n*zis in Ukraine and underestimate the n*zis in everywhere else lmao. yes actually there are fascists and n*zis in Ukraine. no that does not mean Russia is actually sincere in its "denazification" lmao. why is this hard for people to understand idek

I haven't looked to see if there's uyghur genocide denial yet.

one thing I will say is that everyone who talks about the news needs to start screenshotting the entire source - like including the header and title of the news source - and providing urls because this is something I am seeing on their blog but like that's not unique to tankies lmao everyone does it.

anyway idk I'm not gonna cosign that blog because there may be a bit of misinformation but I also think sometimes people just are wrong on some things. and very right on others.

[izloveshorses]

21, 25, 27, 29

21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?

answered!

25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing?

oh absolutely. i've had to step away from my laptop before while editing aslhdkjf. and sometimes i'll read them back after a while and i have to be like op are you okay??? and the answer was,,, no ashdkjlf

i think i was particularly upset by the paris au at some parts, since that one kind of got away from me and evolved into something of its own, and then i think the tail end of the ghost au was so deliciously devastating 😌 and rn this angsty road trip au is making me a little emo to work on (which is why i need to alternate between that and a silly romcom au)

27. Is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? Why?

i think i am always most nervous to share anything containing smut (so someone to stay, all i ask, the lakes) bc that will never not be mortifying lol. now all of ao3 knows you're here etc etc

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

i can't remember if i've shared this before or not asklhjdf sorry if y'all have seen this before:

Out of habit he lit a cigarette after finding his pack on the nightstand. But just as he inhaled Anya looked at him from where she was resting. “Do you need to smoke now? I don’t want to sleep with ashes all over the bed.” His lips tugged into a smile. “I didn’t think my habit bothered you.” “Smoking? No. Making a mess in the sheets when we’re about to sleep? Yes.” That made him laugh. “Perhaps you’re right.”

[pinkerfem]

[perinkling]

im gonna lose my god damn, mother fucking mind if tumblr doesnt stop giving me this “post has been deleted” bullshit WHEN I GO TO THE SOURCE AND THE POST IS CLEARLY FUCKING THERE

[ghosty1111]

i wonder if people ever like my fanart enough to save it(my metal*calypse folder currently has like. over 200 pics. but some of those are gifs ig.)

[neotrances]

putting the callout explanation under a read more as it’s bit long , again i unfortunately got deleted for “hate speech” agaisnt cis people so i cant directly link all the post of the incident but this is a run down and i donot mind talking about this as many times as needed bc i am not and will never be a terf or align myself with fascist ideology

so a rehash of the callout

for reference this happened on my old blog halodite about a month or so prior to being deleted, this was a singular incident, not a repeated one, and the callout being passed around consistently is about this singular event that happened one time, not multiple times, once

it starts when xii was talking about his experiences with sex work, how it effected him and essentially venting about the porn industry preying on people, while talking about this he rbd this post below, the post was specifically about many transfems being forced into sex work as a means of survival and how the porn industry fetishizes transfems / does not do enough to protect trans women who enter these spaces as a necessity (he was not following this blog and this blog DID NOT belong to him, the op of the original callout sc multiple post of the blog to show proof that they were transphobic, this blog did not belong to him nor was he following it)

he continued talking about this, and i myself butted in talking about my own personal experiences as a past sex worker and a traffickigg victim and how the porn industry preys on women of color and young gay men, i specifically started talking about sites like pornhub that knowingly hosted trafficking videos, aided in cp rings and hurt black sex workers by stealing content / using racism to promote said stolen content etc etc, i proceeded to talk about how black women are often the largest victims of sex trafficking / sexual abuse at early ages etc etc just venting myself on my blog, following this xii was sent an ask saying the blog he reblogged the post from was a terf, and deleted it, he then went on google and got a article from a source that was trans inclusive, however by this point the callout post was already made and the op equated critizing the porn industry with hating transfems, now i completely agree he should’ve checked his sources better before rbing but i think this all could’ve been dealt with differently

he also answered an ask about only fans and said this

and for people unaware popular accounts on only fans can be given “”referral” codes that they can advertise to new only fans users, and while onlyfans is a messy site that very very obviously doesn’t care about its sex worker user base (as shown by their recent attempt to ban sexual content, even though they make a majority of their revenue taking from sexy workers) the refferal links were seen as incentive to make accounts (you would earn five percent of the referees earning and the referee would get even more), and this started a chain reaction of people waiting to turn 18 to make content and use these links and only fans denys publicly that it wasn’t their intention but when you make a system urging people to use ur sight to post sexual content asap for profit..like that’s obviously predatory and i still personally believe only fans is the best option for sex workers but that doesn’t change that the platform is uncaring at best and malicious at worst with how it functions*

following this op continued to say that bc we were taking about the impact it’s had on us and all women, and gay men as well (as xiii is a trans gay guy) that we couldnt be anything other than terfs but criticizing the way sex workers are treated within the industry is not inherently transphobic as trans people are in the sex work industry. swerfs (sex worker exclusionary radical feminist) donot respect sex workers and donot value them, they think sex workers are “evil” and as the acronym says they exclude them from their feminism bc they think they aren’t “feminist” for doing work, bc sex work is real work. me and xii both were sex workers, it is stupid to imply that either of us are agaisnt sex workers when we were such and were not talking about individual workers making a living but instead the industry itself knowingly preying on people, i rehashed this on my blog halodite below

xii again denied being a terf and explained that he was talking about himself and is personal thoughts about the porn industry

unfortunately i messaged ops old? or deactivated blog so i cant show scs of our personal convo but i messaged op directly and we talked about how this was a misunderstanding and explained my reasoning for critizing company’s like ph and why it wasn’t anti trans to do so, i have a sc of the message page showing op

*ive recently got a message with op of the original post and i’ll update with what they have to say later as they still stand by saying this shouldn’t have escalated the way it did bc of the singular reblog

afterwards op made an addition to the post saying while they still don’t agree with me or xii that they felt as though it wasn’t right of them to make the post when we were both venting about our experiences and they had no personal relation to sex work

bc of the post blowing up and rumors getting worse including autistic creators jumping into the bandwagon (link to their callout)

and accusing me of sending assault threats antisemtism etc when they were caught sending themselves ask to make these claims “true” are a serial stalker among many other things it spiraled

and lead to terf blogs talking about me and even a few coming up to me and trying to make me “detransition” basically flooding my inbox with misgendering and dumb bigoted cult logic for about a week unfortunately i dont remember the terfs username who was spearheading the harassment as again i was deleted and had the post in my old blog talking about them but the sc of their ask should be proof enough i guess

with the callout itself more rumors started coming out of now where some being that i was a secret nazi others being that i had a boyfriend that i abused when i’ve been single my entire life?

basically things just kept escalating when they shouldn’t have gotten this far in the first place, i do want to say i apologize again for ever making any of my transfem mutuals, followers or anyone else feel worried about this as i value my trans siblings above all else, and when talking about subjects like this we have to take extra care not to contribute (even unintentionally) to harm, again never will i ever align myself with gender essentialism as that is what terf ideology is therefore making it inherently fascist

as for xiii saying the n word, i’ve seen his dad i know he’s black, i’m black myself, i don’t care personally that he does it bc i know that he is black however other black people taking issue with this is fine, as it is a intracommunity topic and nobody has to interact or like someone bc his is tumblr however i will say i donot appreciate white people adding their two cents about this and using blood quantum as if they have any room in the conversation, frankly if you’re not black i donot think you are in any position to comment on mixed black people in this regard

if u have any other questions please lmk, this post is only about the specific sex work incident and i’m not debating aot or his race etc etc as that got tacked to the callout recently and we’ll we’ve already been over that countless times, like i said before my old blog was deleted otherwise i’d just link to the post talking about this incident but yeah

clarifying that i completely understand if the incident above makes anyone feel wary of me that is never an issue and i whole heartedly encourage people to block as they see fit if they feel uncomfortable, that includes current mutuals, this post is just an explanation of the original incident, this (xii reblogging a terf post unknowingly) was not a reoccurring event, nor did he follow any of the blogs, this happened a single time on my old blog @ halodite and has been brought back up multiple times, this is the only time anything like this has happened

[showcontrols]

hm. rambling about smth personal for a bit bc i need it to be down in words. long post under the readmore

so i know my reactions can come across a little. dramatic sometimes. particularly when reading (angst) fic. but during the reading - and often, writing comments bc i tend to do that while reading - i am experiencing the same amount of emotional response im trying to convey in words. the character having a panic attack makes my own breaths speed up to the point where i have to take a break for bit. grief feels hollow, like a stone on my chest and numbness in legs. joy - fluff - sappy gooey stories makes me flap my hands and pace back and forth for a while bc i need to get rid off the excess energy. one time i read a fic that was considered to be mediocre but nice i guess by the people who recced it to me but the general detachment and melancholy portrayed made me go through the rest of day with a fuzzy head.

is that normal? having a visceral reaction to even small bits of writing? i don’t know. i tend to mouth along with the dialogue of the pov character, gestures and all, and that feels like i put too much of myself into whatever pov im reading from. but i know this whole thing extends to outside of writing, that i can come across as too emotional and sensitive. got a response from someone recently about how i was so overly excitable and ‘could you tone it down, it’s not even that good lmao’ and i will admit that my immediate, instinctive response was to go fuck you?? partly out of anger at how the op was dismissing their own writing and partly bc. im not hurting anyone, i think. (did not actually reply to that btw, i just deleted my comment and then went and laid down on the floor for an hour.)

it put me off commenting and leaving long tags for a while bc i was worried about how it would look. am i being too hyper here and bothering people. is this too repetitive. i mostly interact in mcsrblr so its not really a problem there, i know these people. they know me and have seen the number of dumb stuff i do, over the past year. and yeah i felt and still feel pretty dumb about the tagging thing too bc its tumblr! its the site for being weird and ranting in tags.

idk. it’s not A Problem im just. aaaa. maybe im overreacting to this one too. left a bunch of comments one after the other on manda’s fics recently and she was  really nice and happy about it and that reminded me of why i initially started leaving semi-regular comments i guess.

and to clarify: im not saying people have to accommodate me, or anyone on this. if you dont want to deal with it then obviously you have the tools necessary for you to block people and such or not interact at all.

there’s no real solution to it i think. im not even sure if it’s a problem in the first place but it’s just been bothering me for a while. incredibly embarrassed to post this but i need to get it out before it starts poisoning the rest of me so here we go