#posts for the first time in two years and it's a different fandom

[olderthannetfic]

So, for the first time in like twelve years on Ao3, I'm considering posting something anonymously. (I almost certainly would never orphan a work, as I'm far too much of a control freak.) Ordinarily I'd like to think I'm reasonably shameless, but I do think I may have actually found my limit for, not what I'm willing to write, but willing to sign my name to.

And the thing is, it's an itch that needs scratching. Most of the time, when I write fic, it's because no one's written the fic I want to read, and if I want to see it, I need to write it myself. If someone else has already put the work in, and it fits what I'm looking for and the writing is satisfying, I stop having any urge to write it myself. It's different with original work, but also I have considerably less of that. But point being, if the thing I want already exists and satisfies me, I probably won't write a fic of my own.

And for this fandom, on Ao3 at least, there are 51 works in the tag that I'm looking in, and a bunch of them are real short drabbles, and a bunch are by a writer with great fic premises whose writing is just. Not good. Unfortunately. And there's one writer whose work absolutely scratches the itch, but who hasn't written the specific thing I'm looking for. On top of that, it's a fairly old fandom so I know there are plenty of other fics out there that predate Ao3 significantly and never got archived, and I've already found one old personal fansite (by the same writer whose work I like) and perused that too, so I know damn well there are more out there, if only I put in the work to find them.

But so far, nothing's scratched the exact, specific itch, which is kind of funny because I really think the specific fic premise I'm looking for would be a logical thing to write (basically just expansion/elaboration of a preexisting scene, writing out what was stated to have happened but not directly shown). And I've written ~problematique~ fics before, and read tons and tons of delightfully distasteful works over the years, so it's definitely not a moral hangup, but the specifics of this particular thing I imagine might be perhaps a bit. much. for some followers, especially a mutual of mine who's actually seen the show, and who is looking forward to other (less OTT) things I've mentioned wanting to write for this fandom. Hence, my first ever anon work, assuming I get my nut up and actually write it. All of which is to say, sometimes you really just have to slam two slugs of bourbon and be the change you wish to see, baby!

Hopefully I have something to show for myself by the time this makes it out of the queue.

--

[khaoala]

Someone talked about the judo bts scene of the Eclipse which immediately takes me to the THK bts scene of Kant technically proposing Bison.

Idgaf anymore of who agrees with me or not but First most definitely thought about proposing Khaotung there. I dare someone to look me in the eye and tell me I am wrong. The way he blushed and smiled and looked down and had to be reminded of a simple ass line and he couldn't even look at Khaotung and had to look away.

IDC. He was literally either imagining or seeing himself proposing Khaotung at that moment. Yes he was.

He sees a future with Khaotung and he knows Khaotung is his future because as we all know and in First's own language : For him it has always been Khaotung.

Call me delusional idgaf but fact of the matter is in his own mind First Kanaphan is married to Khaotung Thanawat and he is NEVER letting him go. If he could physically stick himself to Khaotung by glue, he absolutely would. If he could getting Khaotung's name tattooed on his forehead permanently he would.

First has known this since 2018, I mean since he met K, that it would always be Tung for him. Only difference is now he has grown older, settled in his skin, become more confident (Khaotung helped him to so that) and therefore he is boldly saying it now.

Fight me on this idc. Idgaf. They are married. Good for the gays. 🧑‍🤝‍🧑🧑‍🤝‍🧑👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

alright, since we're going there, i'll start this by posting this picture that first shared on his instagram today:

pretty good picture, as always, they keep the credits of who took it, but notice the red string connecting the two? the red string that we read in stories about connecting soulmates? not in the original pictures.

now, he could have very well taken this edit from someone else that isn't op, but i am choosing to believe that mr. kanaphan puitrakul simply took the pictures and drew on them himself, even if i'm proved wrong in the future, thank you very much.

but on a more serious note, i keep seeing this since the concert. how are soms going to be in relationships if some of us have firstkhao's level of respect, trust and companionship as standard? and it's what the the pictures above mean, isn't it? we keep saying they are soulmates to be cheeky and oh hey, fandom things, but for them to have met like they did, and clicked the way they did and stay together eight years and counting. it's truly special.

romantic or platonic, these two are in love with each other. they understand each other, and very much do share the same braincell with the way they communicate sometimes. and i know i mention this all the time, but first saying that he had many special moments in 2024, but especially the ones he was with khaotung, and that these moments have given him the courage to explore and discover more about himself, is so aijdhashiasdhfaosdhf to me. khaotung talked to first about yuzumumu as if they were actually expecting their first child, and commenting how they'd look. what is it that some people say? someone call earthmix and make them sit fk down and explain how they are actually married asap.

but also, someone brought back this interview, and i'm sorry, but i can't track down to which magazine it was, but I think it's nice enough so we can wrap this up.

[ghibli-love-ss]

Lean on me (and darling don't worry)

Fandom: EPIC: The Musical

Pairing: Telemachus x autistic!reader

Summary: Prior to his father's return, Telemachus could count the moments of indescribable joy on one hand. Six months after Odysseus returns, it seems Telemachus just keeps running out of fingers to keep track. Unsurprisingly, most of them include you.

Or you meet Odysseus for the first time and Telemachus helps you through a shut down.

Tags: fluff, autistic and verbal shut down, autistic Odysseus mention, Penelope and Athena are mentioned briefly

Ao3 Link: Lean on me (and darling don't worry)

Notes: Hey hey everyone! I am. Back in the fucking building again with autistic reader inserts. Telemachus is up next this time! Please keep in mind, this fic is based purely on my own experiences and will look different for every autistic person. Basically, don't like, don't read!

Enjoy Lovelies!

Divider by cafekitsune, tagged in my pinned post!

The first had been when he turned five. His mother and the palace staff had given him a party, small in an adult’s standards, but to a five year old Prince, it was grand. After the staff had cleaned the throne room, and Penelope had carried a half asleep Telemachus to bed, there was still one more gift to be given.

With the young boy perched on the edge of his bed and a cloth wrapped package in his hands, he had been curious. Cautious at first, curious as to why the present hadn't been received with the others. But as the cloth fell away, it made sense. There, resting in his hands, was a small doll that looked like his father. Sewn with care, embroidered flowers decorating its hair and a mischievous smile stitched on its face.

Every night for years, Telemachus held the doll close to his chest, telling it about his day, and hoping for the time when he could tell his own father in person.

The second time had been at the age of 11, a little over a year after news of the Trojan war ending had been spread. Telemachus still had hope that his father was coming home, he had to afterall. His mother had been holding out for 11 years and had never lost hope that he would return alive, no matter the outcome of the war.

However, his hope would fade and fail to present itself, like that day. He had fled from the palace and his tutors, needing air and space from anything and everything. He needed to stop being a prince for just a couple hours and just be Telemachus. And so, he had wandered.

He wasn’t sure how long he had walked, nor how far, when he came across a small patch of apple trees. The trees themselves provided a nice patch of shade as he sat at the base of one, closing his eyes and enjoying the breeze. The next events had been a blur, between a sheep running into him, a chicken following and nearly landing on his head, and multiple apologies said between laughter.

All Telemachus knows, was that the moment he opened his eyes and saw you laughing, he had been gone. Your eyes crinkled with a smile and a hand helping him up. The cherry on top had been the fact you hadn't even recognized him as Crown Prince of Ithaca. To you, he was just…Telemachus.

Of course the truth had been revealed in the most ridiculous way in the town square a few months later. But the blush on your face and the way you had playfully punched his arm in retaliation had been worth it.

The third time he had been happy beyond words, had been the last time for a few years. It was his 15th birthday, and a month prior suitors had started taking space in the palace. Drinking and eating constantly, picking fights with each other.

He had opted to spend his time at your farm during the day instead. Sitting among the various sheep, chickens roaming nearby, and petting the cows, he had felt safe and peaceful. You had been sitting with him, excused from your chores for the day to spend time with him. The two of you didn't talk for most of the time, Telemachus enjoying the sun’s warmth, and you by his side idly weaving blades of grass together before tearing it apart and starting over again.

He watched you most of the time. The way you would braid and unbraid small pieces of your hair when thinking about something. The way you would tap your feet to some unknown beat in your head when standing and waiting for something. The way you would scrunch your nose randomly when listening to him talk, never mocking, and not quite reacting. It was simply your way of showing him you were listening even if you didn't respond.

He watched you tap your knuckles against hard surfaces harshly if the town square was particularly crowded and loud. He was never sure why you did it, even if it seemed to bring pain later, until Penelope explained that you couldn't really help it when your mind needed soothing. Those were the times he stole a flower from the ground and shoved it in your hands to pluck at, which always earned him a smile and hum of acknowledgement and thanks.

Today however, Telemachus watched, curious, as you paused in your grass weaving. When he had asked what was wrong, he wasn't expecting you to blurt out a confession. In return he had stumbled over his words in an effort to tell you he felt the same. It was all a jumble that had you both snorting with laughter, as you gently headbutted his shoulder. This, he later came to find out with a bright blush, was an odd show of affection when you didn't have the words to say something.

Despite what everyone had believed and wanted though, you two hadn't kissed, nor started courting. And it was due to the fact that suitors were still lurking around with no plans of leaving soon. Both of you, regrettably, had agreed it would be safer if you had stayed strictly friends until the looming threat of the suitors had been cleared. Meetings at the apple trees still happened, though less and less until Telemachus could only make it away once every month at most.

The next time he had been that happy, was when Athena had started mentoring him after he had turned 20. Moreso, when he was able to introduce you to Athena. It was an awkward mess for the two of you mortals, as he struggled to explain to the Goddess of Wisdom just how much you meant to him. You struggled to be polite enough to not anger her.

Eye contact had been a struggle, as it always had been with everyone except Telemachus and Penelope when you had a chance to see the Queen herself. You had tried to stay still during the conversation with the goddess, to stay present and contribute to what was being said. Telemachus had taken note of your behavior, like he always had since learning your body language, but what had caught you off guard the most, was when Athena herself had spoken up first.

Not unkindly had she pointed out the short length of your nails that you had picked through the meeting. It had only surprised you further, when she encouraged you to act naturally, stating that putting up a polite persona in your mind was only doing you harm. The interaction after that had gone much better.

Later, Athena had told Telemachus that her old friend had a few of the same mannerisms and behaviors that you had. The advice she had given him was to make sure your stims didn't get out of hand and stray into the harmful ones. He had always kept a much closer eye out than before for newer stims like the picking.

A month later, had marked the point that Telemachus would quickly run out of fingers to count his happiness.

With his father home, the suitors taken care of, and the palace once again safe enough for you to visit again, happiness was frequent. So frequent in fact, he had a hard time telling when one moment ended and another began. The island of Ithaca had their king back, and finally had proper closure for the loved ones lost while gone from their kingdom.

Odysseus was given ample time to settle in the palace again, Penelope and Telemachus adjusting to having a third person in their family once again. Which was the very reason Odysseus didn't properly meet you until six months after his return. When you finally had the chance to meet the king himself, you and Telemachus had officially started courting three prior. Penelope had told her husband the two of you were much like the royal couple themselves.

When you met the king finally, it was at a party. Half of the town near the palace had been there, and naturally, you had embarrassed yourself.

~

You were one of the first to arrive unsurprisingly. You wander the empty room, no one else yet to arrive as you study the tapestries lining the walls. Curiosity eventually got the better of you as you reached out to trace the designs, immediately recoiling at the horrid texture. Flapping your hands with a disgusted frown was how you met Odysseus. A small huff of laughter behind you making you whip around, face already flushed in embarrassment.

“Your Majesty! I'm so sorry! It's a beautiful tapestry I promise I just-” You cut yourself off as you struggle with words, trying to seem polite and not like you had been absolutely appalled by the terrible texture.

“You didn't like the texture. I understand more than you probably know, don't worry.” Odysseus winces in sympathy, shaking his head with a small smile.

“I had hoped Penelope would have replaced these tapestries while I was gone but I am disappointed to say they do still hang up.”

His words pull a snort of laughter out of you as you glance at him. He was shorter than you had heard him described in stories, though maybe in hindsight, it had been more about the presence he gave, rather than his actual height. His eyes held exhaustion, though not as much as Telemachus had told you about around the time of his homecoming. That, at least made you smile a bit as you scrunched your nose.

“Maybe, if one of us distracts Penelope, the other might be able to tear it down. Though I do doubt I'll be able to fool her still. She's…quite fed up with the antics Tele and I pulled when we were younger.” You laugh a little, shifting your weight as your eyes fix on your feet.

Your comment makes Odysseus laugh loudly, hand coming up to rest on his forehead. “Oh by the Gods, Penelope was right when she said we’d have to watch out for you running around these halls again. Between Telemachus and now you, you kids might make me more grey than I already am.”

You grin in response, ducking your head as you clench your hands into fists. “I am completely innocent. I swear you'll find no one who can place me at any scene of mischief.”

“That is such a lie and you know it!” A hand intertwines with yours as Telemachus stares at you with playful offense. “At least half of the trouble I got into was your fault!”

You smile softly, butting your head against his shoulder, catching sight of Odysseus in the corner of your eye walking away to give you two a moment. You squeeze Telemachus’ hand a few times, earning you a soft grin in return and a cheek kiss.

“I do not know what you're accusing me of, Prince of Ithaca, but I am entirely free of any accusations,” You respond back, teasing him with a poke to his arm.

“Uh huh, sure. And you didn't just try to convince dad to help you tear down the tapestry you both refuse to touch while mom curses you all the way to Tartarus. Are we telling lies now? Is that our new thing?” He tilts his head at you, eyes wide and innocent, which makes you snort. Rolling your eyes you drag him away to explore what food sits on the table.

A couple hours later, Telemachus stands with his father, both quietly observing the villagers mingle and talk.

“You know, son, you did a good job picking them.”

Telemachus turns to Odysseus, face pink as he stares at him. He opens and closes his mouth before his eyes land on you across the room beside the wall, idly rocking back and forth on your feet as you braid a strand of your hair. Telemachus smiles softly, rubbing the back of his neck, glancing back at his father.

“Thank you, dad. I'm glad you approve. They're…honestly one of the best things that's happened to me. Ever, honestly.” His voice is fond, filled with obvious affection.

Odysseus smiles, looking up at his son. He reaches up, ruffling his hair. “How could I not? They're good for you, I can tell. And it seems like you know their signs well too. You’re just like your mother you know. I swear that woman keeps a journal of what I do for anything I'm feeling.” The king let's out a huff of laughter, shaking his head as he smiles.

“Well when I've known them for nearly half my life it's not hard! It's…like reading a well loved book.” Telemachus pauses before groaning and burying his face in his hands. “Ugh that was corny. I'm starting to sound like you and mom.”

Odysseus laughs, patting his son’s shoulder. “You'll get used to it eventually. At one point you won't even think anything of it. That's when you know you're truly in for life.”

Telemachus blushes in response, dropping his head to rest on his father's shoulder. “I think you've made up for the teasing now, dad. We can stop it now.”

“Oh no, son. I'm just getting started don't you worry.”

The prince groans in response again. Lifting his head to glare playfully at Odysseus. His gazes slides back over to you as he sighs, locking in on the way you're leaning against the wall. More importantly, the way you seem to be staring blankly at a random point in the room, and your knuckles knocking against the stone behind you in a way he knows is painful.

“Shit, dad I've gotta-” Telemachus looks back at Odysseus, words failing as he gestures toward you. Immediately the king’s eyes land on you as well.

“Go. Get them out of here Telemachus. Quick before they hurt themself more or shut down further. Your room!” Odysseus calls after him as the prince rushes to your side.

You register the arm Telemachus wraps around your shoulders, not saying anything as you twist your hand into the cloth covering his chest. Trusting him to guide you safely you shut your eyes as he holds you close, focusing on his quiet voice counting in fours. You don't really keep track of the twist and turns the two of you take through the palace halls.

Only when Telemachus pushes through a door, the lock clicking shut and the room blissfully quiet, do you open your eyes. You blink up at Telemachus, eyes trying to focus as he cups your face in his hands, a small smile on his face.

“Hey sweetheart! We’re gonna go sit on my bed and get you calmed down, does that sound good?”

You let out a small hum, giving him a nod as you drop your head to rest on his shoulder. His hands drop to your waist as he sighs, the tension in his shoulders loosening under you. Slowly he walks you backward, only letting go of you long enough to get comfortable against his headboard before pulling you into his lap.

Immediately you bury your face in his neck, arms trapped comfortably between his body and yours. Bit by bit you start to relax, practically melting in his lap as he wraps one arm around your waist, his other hand combing through your hair gently.

Both of you stay quiet for a while, before you give him a small whine, nudging your head against the underside of his jaw. His motions in your hair pause as he glances down at you, though after the second nudge he laughs a little in understanding, hand coming around to cup your face and tilt your head up.

Telemachus smiles, pressing kisses to your cheeks, temple, forehead, and really anywhere he can reach on your face. His actions bring a pink tinge to your face as you smile, resting your forehead against his.

“There's the smile I love. Starting to feel better?” His thumb runs back and forth on your cheek.

Nodding you shift, wrapping your arms around his neck, fingers messing with the fine curls at the nape of his neck.

Telemachus smiles, closing his eyes. He hums a soft melody, one Penelope sung to you both before you were teenagers.

You're both content, wrapped up in each others’ arms, hearts beating together and chests full of love. There's nowhere else either of you would rather be.

[nadas-dirthalen]

morning 3 update — and today, i wanna talk about motivation.

There are no new words so far today! But I didn't mention in my process post that perhaps most vital to my process is motivation. Joy. Sweet, sweet dopamine.

I have severe combination-type ADHD. I also have OCD as a comorbidity of that, and an intense sense of perfectionism that frequently sets off the ol' autism.

Most vital to my process is that it feels safe. Safe, and fun, and supported.

Before I started this marathon, I talked to my support network: namely, my partner, and my best friend in this here fandom space @infernaldaydreams. I asked them both to what extent they felt able to cheer me on this long weekend, and to what degree they had time/bandwidth to celebrate my little victories with me. It is thanks, in large part, to them that I feel confident to even start something like this. Immediately, that helps a lot in guarding against any potential crisis of confidence or crash out in the middle of an effort like this one.

Next, I made sure to gamify the shit out of this endeavour.

I don't know why the trees work as a fun colour-in progress bar for me. They just do. But see all those little rewards, too?

The pink tree is the stuff I'm doing for me: a new notebook that I need, a pizza night, some fresh polaroids for a wall grid in my room, an ice cream night to celebrate hitting the goal for my novel — the real reason I started all of this. The teal tree has a promise of four doodles, kindly donated by friends who I'm exchanging fic with over this process. I'm not allowed to see them until I hit my goals. (And I can promise you, there was no coercion here! They volunteered! And I am weeping in gratitude eternally.)

It is truly amazing what I will do for the promise of a new notebook. Day 1 was wild. And tonight? Tonight is pizza night.

The other thing I've been using a lot this week has been a focus timer app. I use one called Forest, just because it's the one I was first shown, years ago. I just shut out the entire world for 15 minutes at a time, and this is often the only way I will start a writing session, especially if I am feeling emotionally taxed (like this week. Month. Year.)

I know my ADHD, and these are the two things it needs most: community to cheer me on when I do the things I set out to do, and the focus to get me started.

Why am I saying all of this? Because I want to be crystal fucking clear that this kind of word sprint does not happen in a bubble. It does not happen alone. Writers, in large part, are not solitary creatures, even though our craft is solitary (for the most part).

Without community, I would be half so resilient. And I don't want anyone believing otherwise. I am not a god, I am not any different than anyone else — I am just wonderfully, wonderfully lucky to have people in my corner.

original fiction words: 5442/10000 fic words: 2565/10000 (and rising!) total words: 8007/20000 ghost (outline/planning) words: 1600 extra words not included above, plus the ever-growing pile of paper.

3 days remain. Today I'm spending this one hugging my friends a lot, and writing a lot of fanfic. 💛

buckle up nerds i'm writing 20k in 5.5 days

[parientou]

big brother duties are never over

[pardonmydelays]

all jokes aside, our show is in sixteen days and i've never been more anxious about anything in my entire life

[spiritcc]

at this point I don't even know if tag fragmentation in the general russian holmes space is worth addressing. a few years ago I successfully kept the ancient customs intact because I wrote a post so deranged and pretentious it displeased people into doing what I wanted but nowadays what's the point in making a grand return of being terminally online if yall kinda right

[heyclickadee]

Because I’ve decided to be somewhat annoyingly optimistic about Tech coming back eventually, I kind of wanted to explain the hypothetical framework through which I’ve been looking at the all of this wiiiiiiiiiith…

…a crappy diagram. (I’m sorry about my handwriting. I usually write in cursive, so it’s usually smaller and even worse).

Now, this is simplified, there are plenty more arcs, plots, and subplots than this, but I sort of picked out the main three that we seem to be dealing with from the beginning of The Clone Wars season seven onwards.

First we’ve got Rex’s arc, where after an endless string of losses and disappointments from previous seasons, he begins putting his foot down and trying to take something back and help his fellow clones, first within the GAR when he insists on rescuing Echo, and then later on in The Bad Batch as we see him gradually form a small band of clones and other allies (people like the Martez sisters and Riyo Chuchi) with the end goal of freeing as many clones as he can. This seems to be an ongoing plot, given that Rex’s work as well as the setup with the senate continues into season three of TBB but receives neither climax nor resolution as we narrow the focus towards Omega.

And, of course, alongside the Rex arc is what I’m calling the clone agency arc, introduced (or perhaps re-introduced) via Echo and his captivity by the Techno Union in the beginning of season seven of TCW, continuing through the end of TCW and into TBB with Order 66, Crosshair’s time under the chip and with the empire (his story far has given us a great look into the life of clones subject to order 66 and imperial service), the clone retirement bill, and the CXs. It, too, reaches neither climax nor conclusion and seems to be ongoing. Furthermore, Rex’s arc seems to be dependent on the clone agency arc (though you could argue it the other way), and many of the loose threads from the end of TBB tie into it as well.

Next, at the beginning of “Aftermath,” we’ve got the clone force 99 family arc as well as the individual bad batcher arcs, none of which reach a resolution. (The bad batch characters are all introduced in the bad batch arc of season seven, but I’d argue that with a few possible exceptions, they don’t really begin their arcs until the start of TBB. They’re not the focus in season seven and are there largely to facilitate Rex’s arc, so what we get for them is a lot of set up and establishing baselines).

I’ve argued before that each of the batcher’s character development goes only so far as it needs to go in order to facilitate Omega’s arc ending by the final episode; after that, they don’t conclude, they slow down, get put on the backburner, and come with period reminders of what those arcs were doing. Hunter gets very close to resolution in his development, since he’s the most tied at the hip to Omega’s arc and most of his character arc has to do with her, but the others are all completely open-ended. The family arc likewise remains open-ended—not necessarily because Tech’s not there and they remain separated, but because the separation and brokenness of the family is never dealt with and left wanting a conclusion despite the fact there was ample opportunity to reach it if necessary.

And last, we’ve got Omega’s childhood arc and the Hunter/Omega relationship arc. These, closely tied together, are the only major arcs that conclude by the end of TBB. And here’s the interesting thing; they’re not actually the first arcs introduced in the show.

Omega is the POV character, but she’s not actually introduced until the second act, I would argue she doesn’t become the POV character until the hyperspace scene at the end of “Aftermath,” and her arc proper doesn’t really begin until “Cut and Run” when we introduce the idea of Omega choosing where she wants to be and the, “You all have a purpose—so what’s hers?” “It doesn’t matter, she’s just a kid,” exchange. Other arcs including her start earlier—I would argue that Crosshair’s arc with her starts in the brig scene, for example—but her arc doesn’t quite kick off until a little later.

Basically, the way I’m looking at this is as a series of nested arcs. A storytelling nesting doll, basically, where the major arc that was introduced the latest and has the smallest scale is also the only one to reach a resolution by the end of TBB show while the others imply a larger, ongoing story.

It’s not that the two larger major arcs stop when the Omega arc is introduced, either. They keep being told alongside, largely through Omega’s point of view with occasional zoom-outs to a wider frame, and limited to what we need to see at present either for future set up or before zooming back in and, in the case of much of the third season of TBB (last four episodes in particular) focusing in on Omega’s arc and that resolution before, hypothetically, broadening to a larger focus again. It’s also not that Omega can’t show up now that her arc is concluded, either. She can! In fact, she should, for multiple reasons. She just wouldn’t be the focus anymore and would probably show up in a more limited capacity.

And it’s not that these nested arcs are even separate. They might start and conclude at different points, but they are told alongside each other because they’re tied together. They weave in and out of each other and push each other along. They’re relevant to one another and, I think, pieces of a larger clone story that’s not quite over.

Because here’s the thing: There’s a lot of stuff in both TCW season seven and TBB that we don’t really need unless it was there for setup. The only part of season seven that was entirely necessary for closing out the clone war and that part of Ahsoka’s story was the Siege of Mandalore arc with maybe, *maybe* one additional episode to explain what she’s been doing. I love the bad batch arc, but we didn’t need it…unless the purpose was to set up arcs for the batch and also tie the batch’s and Echo’s stories to Rex’s and the clone agency arc. We don’t need the Martez sisters episodes…unless we need to introduce the Martez sisters, who also meet the batch and are also working with Rex once we get to TBB (and are presumably still working with him from time to time, since we haven’t heard otherwise). Likewise, the list of things in TBB that aren’t strictly necessary from a storytelling perspective if all we were doing the whole time was telling Omega’s story is extensive…unless the larger story with those larger nested arcs isn’t done.

[redjayson]

I could work more on chapter 11 of second-hand alibis or I could start rewriting Baby's First SVSSS Fic, which I originally got 9k into before abandoning

[ckret2]

So a while ago some friends were talking about fans who claim the Same Coin theory is canon. And I made the mistake of saying:

Do you know who also has tons in common with Bill? Mabel. Yet nobody claims Bill reincarnated as Mabel. …wait now I want a "same coin but it's Mabel" AU. Funniest Bill reincarnation option. The all-seeing arsonist is making macaroni glitter art. The omnipotent tyrant is crying because a unicorn called her a bad person.

And then I overthought it for two months.

So—AU where after death, Bill's soul shoots 13 years into the past and reincarnates as Mabel. I'll call it ✨ Sparkly Coin AU ✨

Don't leave yet. Lemme show you why it works. Behold the eerie amount of parallels in their personalities, dialogue, behavior, mannerisms, tastes...

I could have kept going but my attention span ran out. All right, we all on board now? Convinced we could segue from one personality into the other? Great. Now here's why you should be interested: the juicy post-Weirdmageddon angst potential.

As long as a small fringe of the fandom still thinks Weirdmageddon is Mabel's fault, why not amp that up x100 and have some fun with it?

Is everyone sold now? Great. Let's get into the details. I've got 8 more pieces of art under the read more.

So the AU starts the instant Bill dies. Thanks to invoking his deal with the Axolotl—one way to absolve his crime, a different form, a different time—the Axolotl gives him a new shape and shoots him thirteen years into the past. Apparently, the Axolotl thought it would be very funny to stick Bill in the family that defeated him.

Which probably made for a jarring transition.

(It's fine, she's like 10 minutes old, she probably can't even tell who she's looking at. Not being able to tell who she was looking at is what got her into this situation ayyyy)

When Dipper & Mabel come back from Gravity Falls complaining about this triangular jerk Bill, their parents mention that Dipper's name was nearly Bill. See, after they knew they were going to have a boy, one night their mom dreamed about a visitor—some kind of magic pink salamander??—calling her child "BILL." Then at the next sonogram they found out they were having twins, the girl must've been hidden at a weird angle the first time, and they wanted matching names, so they thought, Bill and Bell. But they didn't really like Bell; but eventually they stumbled on Mabel, so to keep the names matching they switched from Bill to Mason. Isn't that the darnedest thing?

(Of course, Mabel and Dipper assume Bill harassed their parents to try to trick them into naming a kid after him. To be a jerk.)

When Bill meets Mabel, he's unaware that she's his future self—Bill's notably bad at doing things like, say, double-checking to see whether he's going to die anytime soon—but like... he can tell something's up.

Naturally, before visiting Gravity Falls, there were echoes of who Mabel used to be—but nothing anyone would be able to identify without context. All her Bill-ish quirks either smoothed out with time (see: how between second grade and fourth grade Mabel went from being the "freak" to the popular girl in class), or else they were accepted by her family as Mabel-ish quirks.

After they meet (and kill) Bill, they have the context to understand some of Mabel's behaviors... and unfortunately, some of Mabel's latent Bill-ness starts surfacing after she's been directly exposed to her prior incarnation.

The part of the Pines family familiar with Bill thinks the worst case scenario is that maybe Bill's survived and is slowly possessing Mabel; but far more likely, they think this is just some weird way of trying to subconsciously process last summer. Mabel doesn't think she's being weird, you guys are being weird, stop giving her weird looks. They get attacked by one triangle and now she can't wear yellow or pick up macrame as a hobby??

(It's not all red flags and uncomfortable triangle imagery, though. When Stan asks her what she'd like as a gift for some important event, she shyly admits that she thinks she's starting to outgrow her plastic gem jewelry and maybe she's old enough to get her first piece of real gold jewelry, if that's not too expensive? And Stan's never been so proud of her. Thirteen years old and already thinking about buying gold!)

But of course, the real fun starts when Mabel finds out.

That's the face of a girl who's just discovered that she tortured her great uncle. Now imagine running into the brother she possessed.

But I've already spent a million words and thirteen images on this post. If enough folks are interested in the AU maybe I'll expand on it later. Let me know what y'all think.

[rosesradio]

i think around this time in 2017 (more mid July than late) i started posting fic on Wattpad, so yeah…i’ve been writing & posting fic for 6 years :-)

[azulpitlane]

vicious I ln4

pairing: lando norris x reader, a little of charles leclerc x reader🫣 summary: lando's fans always attack you yet he does nothing to defend you, inspired by vicious by sabrina carpenter notes: if youre the anon that requested this sorry it took so long lol! but you were so sweet ty masterlist, part two

yourusername

liked by maxfewtrell, charles_leclerc and 1,829,392 others

yourusername lil getaway

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user wait is she dating lando??

user there's been rumors of them dating for months but neither of them have confirmed user hopefully not lol

user i had no idea she went on this trip

user yeah cause lando never posts her or even likes her posts lmfaoaofda

user am i the only one that finds her annoying...

user nooo everyone else does lol shes always leeching off lando

yourbff ur perfect babe liked by yourusername

user pls dont let this be a hard launch🧎‍♀️lando get UP

user of course she has to post lando🤣she needs him for the likes

maxfewtrell spent more time on the ground than actually skiing

yourusername SHHHH it was my first time

user why are all these comments about lando?? im only looking at her😍

f1gossip

302,837 likes

f1gossip Y/n Y/l/n spotted in Bali celebrating New Years at Martin Garrix's show, possibly with Lando Norris. The two have sparked dating rumors for a few months now but no confirmation has been made from either of them.

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user we might have to start accepting that theyre dating☹️

user I REFUSE

user wait im new to the fandom, whys everyone hating on y/n i love her music...

user shes always posting lando for attention and he clearly has no interest in her, he doesnt even like her posts user plus his ex >>>>>>> y/n

user she doesnt deserve him, he needs someone lowkey and y/n is such an attention whore

user not surprised shes there, always leeching on him

user right like girl give him space, he aint yours

user im a y/n defender idgaf. everyone in these comments are just jealous liked by yourbff

user yikes... user defending someone who needs a man to stay relevant lol ok

user i miss luisinha😭

user im convinced theyre still dating and shes using lando for pr

y/n hey lan, i safely made it back to the hotel

lando 👍

y/n i still dont understand why you wanted me to leave early though, its not even midnight :(

lando y/n, we talked about this. there was lots of paparazzi there and if they saw us together on midnight they would think we're dating

y/n we ARE dating... why are you acting like we arent?

lando yk what i meant im just trying to protect you from the craziness that comes from dating me baby

y/n im already getting hate, hows hiding me any different?

lando lets just not do this tn. yk how much worse its gonna get it if we confirm anything listen i love you, isnt that enough?

y/n yeah, ily too

lando ill see you later tn❤️

lando baby where are you? come on it was a drunk mistake, yk i only love you it was just martins friend, you know her

y/n oh the girl you told me not to worry about?

lando it didnt mean anything why are you acting like this?

y/n because you fucking cheated. im leaving and im moving out of the apartment

lando please dont, im sorry baby i love you

y/n you say you love me but you can never prove it you hid me away for a whole year, was it so you could hook up with other girls?

lando of course not wth but since there's clearly no trust in this relationship maybe we should end it i wish you the best y/n read

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, pietrapilao and 3,295,203 others

yourusername new year same me, wasnt ever the problem

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yourbff YES WIFEY liked by yourusername

user she unfollowed lando omg.

user WAR IS OVERRRR

pietrapilao out of sight out of mind🧘‍♀️ liked by yourusername

user is this about lando omg...

luisinhaoliveira99 😍😍 liked by yourusername

user ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??? user WHEN DID THEY MEET??? user I NEED THE TEA RNNNNNN

charles_leclerc 🖤

user OH?

user what is going on in these comments omg??

user shes finally realized lando will never date a girl like her

user hahaha fr she finally deleted all her posts with him user probably gonna go for piastri now🤣

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 3,294,234 others

yourusername took some time off music but dont worry, im back and ready to prove i dont need anybody to stay successful

vicious is out now💌

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user OH NOWWW LANDO LIKES HER POST

yourbff sooo back baby

user this has to be about lando...

user the lyrics are heartbreaking omg

user you all owe her a big apology for the way you treated her

charles_leclerc you look good in red this comment has been deleted

charles_leclerc love it! this comment has been deleted

charles_leclerc congrats on the new song!!

taylorswift 💌❤️

user yall better not start switching up!! if you were hating on her, stay away

user are we just going to ignore charles' deleted comments??

user bro was NERVOUS

user we dont know if this is about lando!! they were just friends

user you toxic lando fans need to stay away🙄 she was never seen with anyone else this past year so its clearly about him. hes not some saint you paint him out to be user exactly!! you guys are acting like you know him

user her shirt saying loyal🫣thats gotta be a diss

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, martingarrix and 630,402 others

landonorris pretty vicious life im living rn

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user the caption??? the hard launch??? oh thats not-

maxfewtrell bro. no.

user his own best friend doesnt approve of his behavior😬

user this winter break drama is something else

user lando i cant keep defending you. why would you caption it this.

user IS THAT NEW YEARS KISS GIRL ON THE THIRD SLIDE???

user yess i found her @ shes martin garrix's friend and she was at that party

user anyone else notice luisa unfollowed him??

user she chose her side HAAHAH user pretty ironic cause so many fans were comparing y/n to her and now theyre friends🤣

user whys everyone mad?? its his private life why do you guys care

user oh so now you guys are giving him privacy?? but when he was rumored to be with y/n you were hating...the hypocrisy

yourbff alexa play obsessed by mariah carey🥱

user OOP user the girls are fightingggg

user not even a y/n fan but this was a bit unnecessary...

user "you dont feel remorse, you dont feel the effects" 🫠

f1gossip

240,520 likes

f1gossip Despite hard launching their relationship just one week ago, Lando's new girlfriend has been spotted getting cozy with a different guy! The leaked pictures have already caused for her to go private on all social medias😬

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user karma is A GOD

user i know y/n is having a good day today

user omfg poor lando :(

user womp womp

user i bet he is regretting his decisions rn😭

user y/n nation won today, ln4 nation taking L after L

user we cant catch a break😩

user WHAT IS GOING ON WITH LANDO RN

user craziest winter break yet jeez

Instagram Messages

charles_leclerc hey y/n! i know we havent spoken much but ive seen how lando treated you the few times you were at races and i apologize for never speaking on it i just wanted to tell you you're a great person and your music is so amazing if you ever need anything please just shoot me a text!

landonorris y/n you blocked my number? im sorry about everything baby can we please just talk?

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxfewtrell and 4,204,214 others

yourusername im soooo sorry for your loss😊

my new single feather is out now!! special thanks to @charles_leclerc for helping me out in the music video, had so much making it <3

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user this mv was so hot omg

user I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS BUT I LOVE

user i know a certain someone is FUMING

luisinhaoliveira99 on repeat already!!

yourusername 💋💋 user im convinced luisa reached out after she saw all the comparisons with her and y/n and they became besties user wait that makes so much sense

user f1 twitter is going insane rn

user Y/N NATION KEEPS WINNING

pietra.pilao AHH youre so talented bby liked by yourusername

charles_leclerc had the best time on set with you❤️

yourusername ❤️ user i ship it........

user i want them both

user ofc now shes going for another driver🙄

user oh you guys are OBSESSED with her, get a job user y/n still has them mad LOL

user l**** would never agree to anything like this

user im literally never getting over this, ive watched it 5 times in a row already

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, maxfewtrell and 940,240 others

landonorris a toast to my real friends

view all comments

user if this is a charles sneak diss i will cry

user we got carlando content....but at what price

user oh he definitely got blocked by y/n😭

user dw we're on your side lando

user who is we?

user just take the L and move on bro

user the way 2 songs got everyone to switch up on lando HAHA

user not just that but his shady posts too

charles_leclerc posted a story

Replies

user the girls are OFFICIALLY fighting oh gosh

user next season is going to be interesting...

user my roman empire

user IS THIS A HARD LAUNCH???

user what is happening.

user PARENTS

[newmoonlover009]

Distracted - Charlie Swan

“Just kiss me.”

Charlie Swan x Fem!Reader

Summary - Bella tasks you to keep Charlie distracted as she battles her new "sickness." You do as she says. In more ways than one.

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: 18+, sexual content, age gap (reader is 23), lying, subtle angst, quickie, fast-paced, kissing, slight grinding/dry humping, neck kissing, unprotected piv sex, a bit of cock warming, cream pie, the use of the words "cunt" and "cock," and the pet name "baby."

(Let me know if I missed any.)

Disclaimer: Apologies for any potential spelling errors or grammar mistakes. Twilight au—details won’t be accurate to the films or books—they are rewritten to fit the story.

a/n - yippee, my first post on my multi-fandom account. In all honesty, I did not proofread this one shot as thoroughly as I usually do. So, apologies in advance if it seems rushed. Enjoy <3

Truth be told, you know of Bella’s… “condition.” 

Why she entrusts you with her secret—you don’t know. You’ve only known Bella briefly, having moved to Forks just a year before her return. When word spread that she’d be coming home, Charlie asked you personally to become her friend—a mentor of sorts, even. With long hours at the station, Charlie didn’t have the time to hover, even when he really wanted to. 

Bella liked to think Charlie didn’t hover, but he did. Even now. 

“Good morning, Chief Swan!” You yelled from your porch, greeting the Chief like you did every chance you got. The two of you had been neighbors for quite some time now since you moved in right across the street into the smallest house in the neighborhood with your mom.

“Mornin’.” Charlie’s gruff voice carried across the street. Usually, he’d disappear into his lonesome house, and only leave when he was called to the station. This time, however, he paused at his door in thought. You watched curiously as he turned around, immediately locking eyes with you, and cautiously approaching your quaint porch. 

“I hear your daughter is coming to town, Chief. That’s big news.” You offered conversation, still curious as to why he was purposely approaching you. Charlie was a kind man, and sometimes even friendly to outsiders, but he was still closed off. Perhaps it was your age that prompted him to maintain his distance—two decades is a large difference. Younger people probably freaked him out, you figured. 

“Yeah, I’m real excited.” Though, his unenthusiastic tone said otherwise. “That’s actually what I wanted to talk about.”

“Oh, okay.” You remained an open mind, waiting for an elaboration of sorts. “What about?”

“In all honesty, I need you to do me a favor.” His tone was serious, not asking, but rather telling. You would’ve agreed either way. 

“Of course, what’s up?” It seemed as though he struggled to find the words to ask, his brows furrowed as he thought intently. 

“Bella hasn’t lived here since, well, a long time. She visits, sure, but other than that, she doesn’t know anyone here.” That didn’t surprise you, especially since you hadn’t seen her once since living there. What he said next, however, did surprise you. “I need you to keep an eye on her for me. I know it’s a lot to ask, but you’re close in age, right? Maybe you can provide some… input in her life that I can’t.” Well, not quite close in age. She was 17. You were 21. 

“Oh, Chief Swan, I—”

“Charlie.” He corrected you.

“Charlie.” You repeated. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Bella doesn’t know me, and quite frankly, I don’t know her. You do, though.” 

“Please?” He looked defeated—embarrassed that he had to enlist the help of his neighbor to welcome his teenage daughter. After seeing the silently begging look on his face, you couldn’t say no.

So, when she called you once the plane landed, returning from her short-lived honeymoon with Edward, your vision blurred and hearing rang as she whimpered the words “vampire” and “pregnant.” She informed you that tensions were high between the Cullens; debating whether she should keep it or… “get rid of it.” Alice, Edward, and Jacob strongly advocated for the latter. You, however, only knew that Bella needed a friend.

It kills you to keep a secret of this magnitude from Charlie—who’s been pacing back and forth since you arrived. Bella asked you to keep an eye on him—a trend in the Swan family, it seems—and to keep him distracted so he wouldn’t drive to the Cullen house himself and demand answers. 

“Charlie, please—”

“What do you mean I can’t see her? Is she okay?” His tone is frantic; worried. 

“She’s fine. She just contracted a virus and didn’t want to worry you. Clearly, it’s not working.”

“So why can’t she call me? Why are you the one telling me?” Because he’ll know something is wrong by the sound of her voice. 

“Because she wanted the information given in person. She thought you deserved more than a phone call.” You deserve the truth, you think to yourself, but you’ve made a promise to Bella.

“Where’s this medical facility? I’ll go there myself–” There is no medical facility. She’s shacked up at the Cullen house just miles away. 

“No, Charlie, you can’t. She didn’t even tell me, so there’s no way of you knowing.” You hate how the lies roll off your tongue with ease. He huffs in frustration at your answer, finally taking a seat on the couch while you stand just feet away in front of the television. Sorrow settles like a brick in your gut, so you sit in the empty spot just beside him, your hand landing on his shoulder to offer support. “I’m really sorry, Charlie, but you know she’s in the best hands. Edward–or Carlisle–won’t let anything bad happen to her.” 

“I know…” His voice trails off, uncertainty clear in his tone. He knows you’re right, but you also know that the protective dad in him can’t sit idly by. Your heart aches to see the way his eyes glaze over, his brows in a perpetual frown since Bella left for her honeymoon. The poor man hasn’t been the same since the wedding. 

His house is empty again and his routine has fallen back into what it was before she came home; working every chance he gets and ordering takeout every night. His incessant sullen gaze has returned; his eyes are no longer softer like they were when Bella was here. You feel her absence as well. The house is eerily quiet–colder than usual–and the smaller things that accumulated in their shared spaces have been packed away and moved. Alice took the liberty of packing Bella’s things. 

Your relationship–or rather acquaintance–with Charlie has nearly withered since her departure. There’s no need to speak to him unless it’s to relay a message, like the unfortunate one you’re delivering now. Still, you greet him with a good morning, afternoon, and evening when you see him; which is rare. You quite enjoyed being a part of Charlie’s life, even if it was through Bella, and you felt as though you had finally cracked the man who would hardly speak to you since you moved in. 

“She’ll be okay. I promise.” It’s a stupid promise to make when you’re unsure of the outcome yourself. 

“I guess you’re right.” He lets out a heavy sigh, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, his face falling into his hands. 

You gently nod to yourself, taking that as your sign to leave. You’ve done all that you can at the moment; told him of Bella’s “sickness,” given him peace of mind, and ensured that he wouldn’t attempt to see her in person. All things Bella instructed you to do. You feel terrible knowing Charlie’s original plan was for you to watch over Bella, and now it’s been completely flipped in the opposite direction. 

“I should get going.” You announce, patting his shoulder and grabbing his attention once more. “I’ll let you know if I hear anything else from her.”

Charlie nods, his warm eyes finding yours. He lifts himself from the couch with a gentle huff and stands to walk you to the door, as he always does. As you mirror his movements, the two of you face each other, subtle awkwardness creeping into the space between you. He’s decently taller than you, forcing your head to tilt back as you match his gaze. His eyes are masking a million different emotions, just screaming to be let out, so you provide the only form of comfort you can think of. Lifting your arms from your sides to reach toward him, his watchful eyes observe your actions as you lazily wrap them around his waist. 

His body freezes, stunned by your affection, as you rest your head against his broad chest. Your cheek lays against his cotton T-shirt, saturated in his warm scent—woodsy, cinnamon, and smoky–as if he had just built a fire to combat the slowly approaching frost. A beat passes before you feel his arms wrap around your shoulders, his head craning down to rest his scruffed cheek on the top of your head. His heart is pounding in his chest, the muffled sound knocking against your ear. As if to absorb his hurt, you hug him more firmly, your hands interlocking behind him as you adjust your grip. 

“Thank you for coming over.” His defeated voice finally speaks above you, and a hand soothingly rubs your shoulder. “It was nice seeing you again.” 

The feeling's mutual. The last real conversation you had with him was the wedding night. It hurt your feelings a bit; further confirming that Charlie was only interested in talking to you about Bella, nothing more. Sure, that was the deal, but you had hoped for more. Whatever “more” was, you still aren’t sure.

“Of course.” You breathe out, leaning back to look up at him, your arms still wrapped around him. “I hope to see you again soon. Under better circumstances.” 

“Me too.” He lets out a defeated chuckle, the humor absent. “Let me walk you out.”

Although, neither of you moves. His hands stay spread on the expanse of your back as his conflicted gaze bores into yours. An unspoken magnetic pull lures you to him, his eyes locking yours in a curious trance. Your stomach flips when he swiftly leans in, capturing your lips in a chaste kiss. Mere milliseconds pass before his lips are ripped away; just as quickly as they had come. 

Your eyes widen and the grip you have on him releases as you take a precautionary step back. Jaw falling slack, your lips part in utter shock, and your eyes blink rapidly as if you’re in a haze. Your face has surely turned crimson, the heat creeping up your neck and settling in the peaks of your cheeks. The look on his face, however, is just as shocked as you are–like he couldn’t believe he did that. He looks… ashamed. It’s almost visible on his face–the way his thoughts race–his voice catching in his throat as if to offer an explanation. 

“Charlie…” 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have–” 

“Kiss me again.” You rush out, “Please.”

“Are you sure–”

“Just kiss me.” You nearly groan. Unable to wait a moment longer, you step forward to close the short distance between you two, your arms finding their way around his neck and feet standing on their tippy-toes. Your lips crash onto his, your eyes fluttering close as his hands snake around your waist, desperately gripping at your clothed skin. A low hum purrs from his throat while he deepens the kiss, dipping his head lower to accommodate you and satisfy his fast-growing hunger. His mustache and the stubble on his chin rub against you, adding to the pleasurable sensation pooling in your gut. 

This was not what you intended when you were tasked with keeping him distracted, but you can’t find a part of you willing to stop. Not when he pulls you in closer by the waist, his fingers digging deeper into your heated flesh, grasping at you so you can’t pull away–like you ever would.

Taking the initiative, your tongue darts from your parted lips, swiping along his bottom lip and eliciting a groan from Charlie. The sound is like music to your ears, only fueling you further when your hands find his loose waves, gripping gently and tugging at the roots. Following your lead, his tongue combats yours, invading your senses with his taste, his smell, him. 

Without breaking the persisting kiss, Charlie moves you both and pulls you with him as he lands on the couch in a seated position. Instinctually, your legs straddle him–your skirt lifting and bunching at your hips–and you finally lean away from him to catch your breath, your chest heaving in response. Through parted lips, Charlie lets out quick huffs, his back slowly leaning against the couch to allow his eyes to rake over your appearance; flushed cheeks, kiss-swollen lips, and hooded eyes that silently beg for more. 

The sight of him is ungodly; sitting man-spread, hands now lazily resting against your hips, and eyes that flood with lust–the chocolatey irises being swallowed by dilated pupils. You need more of him.

Slouching slightly, you lean into him as your lips connect with his neck, leaving sloppy open-mouth kisses along the sensitive skin. His head tilts to the side to grant better access as a strained noise collects on the tip of his tongue. Your hips absently move against him and a surprised sound comes from you when the bulge of his jeans lines up with your aching core. The dull sensation urges you to seek more friction, making Charlie’s hands grip your hips to assist in your efforts. 

Soft, satisfied sighs brush past your lips as you continue your work on his exposed neck, pulling small grunts from him and subtle jerks of his hips. 

“Are you sure you want this?” His drawn voice calls to you, letting you know you can stop while you’re ahead. The thing is, you don’t want to. 

“So sure.” You mumble against his skin. “Are you?” Asking sincerely, you stop what you’re doing to catch his gaze.

He only nods, his eyes darting to your lips and hands absently squeezing, encouraging you to continue. Slowly, you roll your hips against him, building the previous friction back up. The feeling is deliciously teasing, only reaching a certain level of fulfillment before it becomes unbearable. You hold his line of sight, watching as his face gently contorts into a frustrated frown, needing more as much as you do. His brows furrow, creasing the skin between them, and a low grumble gathers in his chest as his legs shift restlessly beneath you.

Releasing your grip from his hair, your hands lay flat as they palm at his shoulders, spread across his chest, and travel down his abdomen, pausing just above the waistband of his jeans. You halt your hip movements, letting your fingers tease at the zipper before asking, “Can I?”

“Please.” 

It’s the only word he can muster before you undo the zipper at a tantalizing pace, the soft noise only adding to the fluttering feeling gathering in your lower belly. You quickly unfasten the jeans button, folding the rough denim fabric over to expose his boxers beneath. His jaw clenches when you tug the waistband of his jeans down just enough to reach into the stretchy material and firmly grip him. His stomach visibly tightens through his shirt, a low grunt exiting with a shaky breath as you free his hardened cock. Impressive.

Your closed fist works up and down his length a few times, admiring the way precum leaks from the reddened tip, pouring over onto your hand. Charlie struggles to show restraint as his hips shift upward to match your rhythm. You’re eager as well, feeling wetness gather and soak into the cotton fabric of your underwear. 

Impatience gets the better of you when you release him, smirking at the sound of protest from him as your hands find the bottom hem of your skirt and tug the clothing item upward to gather around your waist. His mouth clamps shut when your soaked underwear comes into view, exposing the absolute arousal he elicits from you. Usually, you’d opt for more foreplay, but you need him–you need him now. 

Unwilling to waste time, you pull your underwear to the side, using your other hand to grasp Charlie once more. With a little maneuvering, you scoot closer to him, lifting yourself slightly to align him with your cunt. He sucks in a sharp breath when you run the tip through your velvety folds, gathering every ounce of arousal before stopping at your dripping entrance. 

Slowly, you lower yourself, allowing your hips to sink onto him and inch his way into you. Neither of you dares to breathe as your walls stretch around him, welcoming him and swallowing every inch until you’ve sunken completely. Both of you gasp–for air, and because of the way his cock twitches and your walls squeeze around him. He’s filled you entirely and you bite back the moan that begs to release. Without even moving, the feeling itself is euphoric. 

“I need a minute.” He admits, his voice gravelly and forcing self-control.

“Me too.” You breathe out, your hands resting against his waist for support. 

Staying put, you lean forward, capturing his lips in a leisurely kiss. The moments leading up to this one have gone by in a blur, having happened so fast. You savor him, enjoying the way he can’t control the soft groans you swallow as your lips work against his, your walls pulsing in response. 

Your hands travel from below you, your fingertips ghosting over his lower stomach, his ribs, and his chest before settling on the sides of his face. His stubble scratches the surface of your palms as you deepen the kiss, humming in satisfaction when he invades your mouth with his tongue. Growing impatient, you feel Charlie’s hands grip tighter, urging you to lift your hips. 

The kiss is unbreaking as you follow his lead, letting him raise your hips and pull you back down onto his length. You moan into his mouth as he repeats this action a few more times before you decide to take over. Heavy breaths blow through his nose as you speed up, creating a steady rhythm that satisfies the both of you. You’re unsure how long you’ll last given the coil that’s been wound up tight since grinding against him fully clothed, which technically, you still are.

With your breath picking up, you break the kiss to focus solely on lifting and lowering your hips. The pace is growing quicker, and you notice Charlie’s hips moving to match your efforts. Resting your forehead against his, you lock eyes as you allow an uncontrollable string of moans to push past your plump lips, your eyebrows scrunching in pure pleasure. 

“I’m so close.” You confess, feeling your walls flutter around him in that familiar rhythmic pattern. 

“Keep going, baby.” His encouragement and use of the pet name through clenched teeth signals that his climax is nearing as well. 

Preserving energy and seeking release, you grind your hips instead, and you nearly cry out when your swollen clit rubs against him. It’s enough to bring you to the edge, your climax teetering and waiting to be pushed over. With a few more passes of your grinding hips, it doesn’t take long, and your head flies back to let out a drawn-out moan. 

“Oh god, Charlie.” Your voice points to the ceiling as your eyes squeeze shut, your hips sputtering against him. Your cunt pulses frantically around him as you continue your movements, riding out your crashing orgasm and urging Charlie to do the same. 

From the force of your climax, Charlie isn’t far behind. His name leaves your lips in an exasperated whimper, being repeated like a mantra. When your head falls forward, and your spent stare captures his, it’s enough to send him over the edge. With a choked groan, you feel his cock twitch inside you, coating your walls with hot cum as he stares deeply into you. Determined to wring out his orgasm, your hips move languidly despite the overwhelming sensation it creates for you, watching as his stomach flexes sporadically. 

He lets out a choked noise when he’s finished, the grip on your hips loosening and prompting you to slow to a stop. The mixture of your releases drips out of you, pooling at the base of his cock. Both of you breathe heavily, your chests heaving in harmony as your eyes bore into each other. 

You expect a feeling of regret to wash over you, but it never comes. 

Instead, Charlie’s hands slide to your waist and pull you closer, his lips peppering gentle kisses along your jaw, hairline, and lips. He reaches over beside him, grabbing a flannel he left draped over the back of the couch. Carefully, he drapes the patterned material over your shoulders, and your hands drop from his face, letting you lean forward and rest your head against his chest. You aren’t necessarily cold, but having shared an intimate moment with him, Charlie feels the need to cover you–to make you feel less exposed and to provide care.

“We should get cleaned up.” You mumble against him, feeling him soften inside of you.

“Okay…” His voice trails off, as if deep in thought. A beat passes before he speaks again, his gruff voice rumbling against your cheek from deep within his chest. “Do you want to stay for dinner?”

You smile, genuinely in what feels like forever, “I’d love to.”

Tags:

[painless-innit-colourful]

now one of the contributing factors to the fact I can't wrap my head around the new, peaceful cclingy ending is that the fandom is so different now that it was then. there's so many fewer of us and naturally that just means that posts circulated for less time, less was made of it because there weren't as many voices repeating it over and over like there was with anything that happened back in the day.

but I think the main reason is that, somewhere deep down, I expected the nuke ending. I expected the desolation. I didn't expect the soft, good ending.

because, in the end, s1 was only ending in one place: november 16th. the pogtopia arc centred around this 'will he won't he' struggle that we were all waiting to see fulfilled, even if only to satiate that sense of curiosity, to see what had been teased to us for so long. it set a trend of shock and angst: the bigger the spectacle (explosion), the better, the more people will want to see the destruction. cool lines, dramatic sacrifices, big moments. those made the animatics. those made it trend on twitter week after week.

when the nuke fell, I accepted it almost instantly. because at least it made sense. this wasn't the blinding tonal confusion of utah, this had been established in the dsmp tone book. a big explosion, angst and self-sacrifice and a firery finale. the wins - first disc war, final disc war, etc - were exceptions to the rule, which was heaps upon heaps of suffering and angst. "the good guys die and the bad guys win," to quote my chemical romance.

but two years later, thanks to jack manifold losing a dare (of all hilariously appropriate things), a much quieter, much softer ending. no dramatic lines: typed remarks in chat replacing the feats of acting we'd seen prior. no spectacle, no explosions; just two people drawing some things to a close, completely unannounced on a sunday night. and I keep forgetting it happened because it doesn't feel like it was supposed to.

and that's not a criticism of it or its execution. one of the strengths of the dream smp was its wild format and how it pushed the boundaries of how to tell a story. sometimes it really worked, sometimes it failed, but I'm glad it always pushed the boat out. and in one of its final outings, it flipped the script one last time. no more showmanship. no more spectacle. here's two characters telling you an alternate story. where the heroes can finally rest. where the bad guys' names fade into obscurity. they're "getting better".

one day, I will get it through my head.

[livingsurreal]

More thoughts and theories about our favorite Necromancer

My darlings, I have too many thoughts and my obsession is running wild. (How I missed you, hyperfocus). If you have read my last meta post about our Emmrich, here it is: First Meta Post

That is not a required read however. I am still wondering why anyone is reading my word vomit U_U

Anyway, I love reading other peoples theories, so please, send me yours. <3 And a lot of thanks and love for all you darlings who make this fandom such a beautiful and nice place. Especially to @jaal-ama-daravv - who makes the most beautiful videos, and writes such wonderful character studies.

Warning, from here on there will be spoilers as well as mentions of sex. If you don't want to read about any of that, do not read the rest.

Also pictures and way too many words. This is a ten page word document, save yourself while you can. I tend to go off on a tangent once I start writing. I am also well aware that not everyone will agree. This is just my personal read on Emmrich.

Now, after my first essay I have some more thoughts on Emmrich and Rook and specifically their intimate relationship.

Emmrich is such an interesting and baffling contradiction. On the one hand he is confident, self-assured, all manners and poise. He is smart, and he knows it. He has special gifts, and he knows it.  He is confident without being proud. He likes to teach others without being arrogant. He still likes to learn about new things and is, as far as I’ve seen, never judgmental about different beliefs and ways of life. (Unless someone treats him with disdain or bully him)

He is a man who is confident speaking of his thoughts and feelings and fears. How he just casually drops his thanatophobia is just astonishing. He is honest and open-minded in the best ways.

And then there is the other side of him. The wet kitten side of him. As open and honest as he is about his emotions, when we get to the meat of it, to the scary bit, the real feely bit, he locks up completely. As long as it is surface level (or he can pretend its surface level), everything is up for discussion. But once we reach deeper and touch *love* he gets so scared and refuses to admit and commit to his feelings. And as much *death* scares him, love scares him more.

So how does that influence his intimate relationship with Rook?

According to the banter with Lace “everyone knows about it”. He was rather surprised by that.

That tells us two things:

They were trying to be sneaky or at least keep their private business private.

They failed, massively.

Add to that Laces comment about them moving rather fast (when, where? I would have loved to have seen that. Comments like that just give me the feeling that we should have had some more cutscenes after the dinner date, to show us those two besotted fools).

But back to them moving rather fast. I would guess that they both did a lot of gazing lovingly at each other, blushing, spacing out while watching their darling, stollen kisses in the hallway when they thought no one was watching, stuff like that. Just being to besotted fools.

But moving fast usually includes sex. Lots of needy, sweaty sex. The inability to keep their hands of each other.

That moves us to the question of the day – did they have sex before their coffin time?

Let’s look at what we know about Emmrich. Emmrich is no virgin. That man has experience. He had past lovers. But what he tells us at that sweet diner date – “nothing serious for years.” We know not much else besides his crush on a boy in his youth and his fling with the Orlesian Art Lady. He is not someone to kiss and tell and that is appreciated. That man has class, and we love him for it.

So - nothing SERIOUS for years. If he hadn’t had ANY relationships in the past years, he would have said so. But what he says is that he did, in fact, have UNSERIOUS relationships in the last few years.

I would read that to be somewhere along the “fwb, lovers, affairs, paramours, companions, a fling, a little romance” line. Something not purely, but mainly physically driven. Someone you like and respect, you can go out and have a good time with, have lots of amazing sex with (b/c he is a living being and has his needs). Spending time with people he liked, was sexually attracted too, but nothing as serious as love. A physical relationship. A little thrill, some fluttering, but never that deep.

Not to say that those situationships would not have been romantic. He is (buried under all that resignation) a deeply romantic man. I am pretty sure he went on nice romantic dates with his previous paramours too. That this is something he just enjoys too much. Treating a companion with some quality time, not just in, but also out of the bedroom.

But after he’d given up on his dreams, he did not have any notion of those flings being more than a “enjoy the moment”. There was never the expectation of deeper feelings, beyond friendship, attraction and/or respect. All those romantic gestures were nothing more than a little bit of “play pretend”. To give himself the illusion of true romance, just for a little time.

Take the fact that you can go a “everything you do is creepy but I still flirt with you and I want you to throw me over that tombstone” and his comment on “the attraction of the forbidden”? This is not a relationship born of mutual respect and deeper feelings but out of purely physical attraction. And he is OK with that.

I want to repeat – Emmrich is very much okay with a casual, sexual affair. He does not require love to have a relationship with someone.

And then think about that Johanna calls Rook specifically his “paramour”. Which is a lover, especially an illicit one. This word was very specifically chosen by Johanna. For various reasons, I would think.

For one, I do believe that it is a dig at his dreams of the eternal flame. It’s a dig at him, that Rook is not his love, but his paramour. A lover for a time. To be parted from soon enough. B/c that silly dream of his, as if it ever would become reality.

Second, I think it is a comment on the way his relationships often went, especially in the past years. Those unserious flings of his. Never to amount to anything substantial.

Did he try to have something serious in the past? Oh yes, for sure. But it never worked out. Then he gave up his dream and just let himself have a good time with people he found to be nice and attractive.

To pick up my point of self-sabotage from my last meta post – I’ve come to a point where I believe Emmrich is a kind of chaser. I know someone like that and it’s so fucking tragic.

Emmrich feels deeply and strongly. When he falls in love with someone it’s a lot of emotion. But at that point it’s all dream, want, wish. As soon as someone returns these feelings - those dreams, wants and wishes become reality. And reality is scary. In this wishful dream about the eternal flame, there is no fear. No fights. No loss. But that is not reality. As soon as it becomes reality, he gets scared. Before, his feelings were no threat, because you can’t lose what you don’t have. Once those feelings are returned, there is a clear possibility of losing, of being lost, of being left behind.

Emmrich is not a chaser because he enjoys the hunt. He is a chaser because being loved by someone is scary. So damn scary. So, he starts to pick fights and is looking for excuses. From being the chaser, he becomes the chased. He is hunted by his fears, and his fight or flight instincts go all flight.

After years of this cycle he gives up. Resigns himself to flings and little romances without even thinking of more. Or so he thinks. Dreams like that don’t die, they just get buried.

And I’d think that there was not many, even of those short term flings, lately. His life revolves around work and Manfred.

Now remember he comments on Rook “showing unexpected interest in a new companion”.

First of all – unexpected.

They are a daring adventurer. He thinks of himself clearly as the more boring one, compared to Rook. He never expected any of those flirts. But he is clearly flattered.

Second – companion.

That was such a weird way of saying “hey do you like me?”. This whole “companion” thing does not scream “I have FEELZ for you/you have FEELZ for me” but rather, “I think you might want to spend some quality time with me”.

The possible answers - dashing good looks, kindness, his way of words.

He feels he is fortunate if Rook thinks him good looking. Hallo, Mr. Professor, sir… Have you looked in the mirror lately? Consider that he is meticulously grooming himself, takes his exercises daily in the morning. That man does not like himself aging. I think it is a reminder of how his pending death is a step closer every day. But it shows, to him, that his efforts of taking care of himself are not in vain. Or maybe it shows him that his age does not matter. Rook finds him attractive despite (or because) of his physical age.

Rooks comment on his very charming way of putting things makes him hope his years behind the lectern have proved useful. Hey *years* behind the lectern. Again, this is a way of saying his age is NOT a problem but a benefit.

If Rook remarks his kindness, he answers “you humble me”. It’s the one answer that does not touch his age/experience/looks. It’s a remark on an innate character trait he possesses. Kindness. His whole demeanor in this option shows he is actually touched. And maybe a bit baffled. He did not expect this, at all. Its like he sees his kindness not as an attractive trait. Which he should. He is nice without TM and its sexy as hell.

The next part is his statement “If your attentions go beyond charming flattery… that would interest me, indeed”. This reads to me not necessarily as “do you have feelings for me” but as “do you just enjoy the flirting, or do you want to do more than flirting?”

And oh boy, does he want to do more than flirting. I want to repeat my earlier statement – this man has given up on love. But some little fling with an exiting young adventure who was constantly, awkwardly flirting with him? Hell, yeah.

(I want to remind you that we were able to have mutually enjoyed flirts with Dorian as fem!Inky. You can flirt with someone and still never want to fuck them. And you are also perfectly able to want more than flirting without having deeper feelings. Like sweet, dump Shepaloo said it so eloquently “Lets bang, okay?”)

Again, I want to pick up a point of my last post, that this is all surface level thoughts. I do believe that their emotional attraction and depth of feelings go deeper, from the start. But how often does it take quite a bit of time to realize one’s own feelings. Especially this wonderful, silly man whose modus operandi is running away.

Now, an interested Rook can answer in an open “lets see where this goes” way. Mirroring his rather open idea of a little romance, a fling, some quality time. Something that does not have to end in an eternal flame, but a simple enjoyment and exploration of the moment.

Rook can also reply with a “I think they do.” – What Rook actually says is “I think they already…”

And conveniently Rooks answer here is cut short by our sweet boy Manfred. They get cut short, no matter what answer you choose, but in this specific case, I am convinced this was very much on purpose. What would the whole sentence have been?

“I think they already go way beyond flattery.” (?!?) Something along those lines. But that goes into danger zone. WAY into danger zone.

If Rook had finished that sentence, at that point in their budding romance? It would have been over before is all started. Too much, too soon. Too much for him, period.

Now we have the hard lock – their sweet romantic moment in the Memorial Gardens. And he is smitten. He fell hook, line, and sinker for his own play pretend. Just a little romance, but that man is falling, fast. (Not that he would admit that to himself).

A beautiful date, all arranged by Emmrich, to spend time with Rook. Because a couple should have a quite moment to get to know each other. I mean there were menu cards with gilded edges, ffs. And, oh yes, they were “lets dig into the feelings”, he said couple. He is falling, falling, falling fast. But it still hasn’t hit him, how deep he has fallen for his darling Rook. Poor Emmrich.

Then a fight, where we really see the wet kitten side of him for the first time. A little wet, feral kitten, hissing at the hand that’s trying to feed it.

Emmrich is lashing out for no good reason (or no good reason for anyone but himself). There is no real confidence there but a desperate act of pretending. An iron (slipping) grip, trying to control himself and the narrative. Shoulders squared, back straight, an arrogant stance, raised chin, turned half-away from Rook, and a condescending way of talking to Rook.

Like I said in my last post – he is working his way up to breaking up with them. And he tells himself it’s like ripping off a bandaid. Be strong and confident and say what you have to say, and they will see the wisdom of that.

It’s only that, they don’t. Because there IS NO wisdom in what he is doing right now. They don’t take his bullshit but throw it back at him. They don’t accept his mock excuses.

Look at him here, how he looks down ON them. I can’t recall any other time he looks down on Rook, despite him being a tall king.

Especially the route where Rook throws it in his face that he DOES in fact love them. Speak what he can’t even think.

“I can’t… At my…”

“I can’t love you. At my age…” Why not? Does he not deserve love, just because he is a bit older? It’s just heartbreaking how he views himself.

And again, he lashes out.

“I am perfectly serious.” So is Rook.

“One of us has to pay attention to these things.” As if Rook is not paying attention. They got to the meat and bones of his problem in just a few seconds.

No matter what route you go here, the gist is the same. He is scared shitless, treats Rook like a child, and goes on how the is the only one thinking the important thoughts.

When Rook in reality way ahead of him. They thought about it and came to the conclusion that being with Emmrich is a really good idea.

Rook knew they were falling for someone older than them. (Even if that age difference is just a decade, with a mid-40s Rook.) They knew it, and still went with it. They are not a child who is too inexperienced and stupid to make decisions about their (love) life.

But now, here, at this moment? Emmrich treats them with disdain. Like a silly little person, who does not think things through. He holds himself above them. Physically and mentally. They are too young, he knows better.

And not once has he done that before. He always treated them as an equal. He follows them into the most dangerous situations ffs. He trusts them with his life in a fight against would-be gods.

All that fear and anger at himself that reaches a new high get redirected at Rook.

The next day they are off to Tearstone Island. That night must have been hell. For both of them. But its going to get much much worse.

In any case, Emmrich seems to have come to some conclusion or realization, because on that island? He apologizes.

They both did react very emotionally, but he came at Rook with superiority and, to a certain degree, dishonesty. All fueled by his fear. So that he is the one to take the first step and apologize to Rook instead of doubling down? An important step. As I said in my last post – he NEEDED to be called out. A sweet and nice counterargument would not have had the impact Rooks raw an honest emotion hat on him.

Emmrich “Rook? Darling? I wanted to say-“

Rook “Yeah, about that argument…”

Emmrich “(Sighs) It’s no time to apologize, is it?”

And here we have the most heartbreaking line, in hindsight. “We’ll talk back home, Emmrich. I promise.”

(Narrator: but they would, in fact, not talk about it back home. Because someone would not go home.)

One fight and weeks of horror later, they find themselves in a private crypt and finally they do more than share a kiss.

Now - to the point I originally wanted to explore with this post – is this in fact their first time? (I am sorry, but my brain is a circle and nothing makes sense)

Let’s look at what evidence we have from the cut-scene.

Rook did not know he is an early riser.

That leaves two possibilities:

They never had sex up until that point.

They did have sex, but never spent the night together.

Now what does that mean?

This depends a lot on your personal Rook and how they feel about sex in general. If Rook wants to wait, or is not ready, he will absolutely accept and respect that.

But for the sake of this analysis lets go with the idea that Rook is not opposed to sex at an earlier date.

They never slept with each other

Why? He clearly was not opposed to casual relationships in the past. What would hold him back now? Especially if you recall Laces comment about them moving fast. Why not jump into the bedroom?

Now my first crack theory is that they get interrupted, like every time. (Rook interrupted The Dread Wolf, and now he cursed them to always be interrupted when they want to have some private time)

But now, in all seriousness, maybe it’s just that part of him DOES realize that this goes beyond a very unserious relationship. That they both have deeper feelings, that spark of something greater, something beautiful.

So, he holds back. He does not give his all. He is charming, he is flirty, he takes Rook on dates. But it’s all very technical. Very performative. Yes, he is a very romantic man, yes he enjoys those moments. But there is always a feeling of control.

Those moments when you see him let go a bit (that kiss beneath the eternal lovers, “I think, sometimes you indulge me”), are so beautiful and you glimpse a bit of the man behind those walls.

He has a tell, you see. (I am telling you about it further down)

But generally, he feels very much in control of himself. And to lie with Rook? To go all the way? Too dangerous. Who knows what happens in that sweet moment after la petit mort? What secrets would his lips spill?

2. They slept together, but did not spent the night together.

They do have sex, but sleep alone in their own beds. Casual sex is fine, but to fall asleep in each other’s arms? Too much. Too real. Sex okay, but sleepy post coitus cuddly? Woah, slow down your horses.

So, they have sex, preferably in Rooks bed. First, does he even have a bed? Second, it’s way easier to leave Rooks bed after the act, than throwing them out afterwards.

Oh, and how many reasons he has. Rook needs their uninterrupted sleep; they are stressed and must have proper rest. He wants to get some reading done before he retires. He needs to look after Manfred.

Oh, he is a bad liar, for sure. He is lying more to himself than to Rook. I would think that (if this is the build up to their fight) Rook realizes that he is giving poor excuses.

And the sex itself? A technical 10/10. He knows his anatomy, after all. But his heart is not really in it. He can’t allow himself to. He holds back, keeps a tight lid on his emotions. They both are well spent afterwards, but like so much else, it’s performative. Technically very well executed, but rarely do you see HIM, the real him, behind all that performance. Whenever something slips through, he reels back and closes up.

And then we are in that crypt. Rook was gone for weeks. The last thing they said that night before were words of anger. Rook called him out on his feelings and from that point on there was no possible way of lying to himself anymore. Those feelings were there. They were real. Rooks feelings were real. And those weeks spent in desperation, trying to  get them back? Those walls came crashing down.

His true face, when all the walls are gone? You see that face when Rook leads him to the coffin. There is no pretense anymore. No performance. Just him, and all his love for Rook. The amount of emotion the animation team packed into those short moments in the cutscene? Mindblowing. Who ever crafted that expression on his face? They are the GOAT. I watch this part of that scene on repeat, and it never gets old.

So, I told you about how he has a tell, yes? Okay, two actually, but we all know surprised pikachu Emmrich. In that last scene it is resolved in the most beautiful way.

He looks down, when something touches him deeply, when he goes into his feels.

A few (way to many) examples:

And the worst wet kitten look? After the fight, when Rook leaves.

Its a look of shame. Of hurt. This man is hurting so badly.

Now here at the end we have that moment when Rook leads him to the coffin. His face turns down, like before. But here he looks up at Rook. He does not turn his eyes away but looks directly at them. Ahhh my heart.

Now, think about the fact that ROOK is leading in that moment?

In those moments where Rook leads or startles him (or is simply annoying enough so that the truth slips out), you see the most emotion from him.

Rooks flirting startles him, and he has a pikachu face reaction every time.

Their first kiss? Rook leans against the monument, and leans up, telling him without words that NOW is the time for a kiss. How can he not go for a second kiss?

That moment when Rook calls Manfred “our son”? He very conveniently ignores the word “OUR” and goes in defense mode over the word “son”. But called out on his feelings for Manfred? How can he deny them? He has tears in his voice when he says how he would not exchange this moment for anything? A real, deep emotion.

In their fight Emmrich is again all technical, all performance, so logical (or what he sells himself as logic). But Rook wrestles that moment from him and takes lead, calls him out on his bullshit.

In the crypt Rook pulls him up into a kiss and then leads him to the coffin, guiding him, taking him with them.

Most of the other times he takes the lead, very much in control. But the most emotions you get from him, are those times Rooks leads, when he lets go of this tight control over himself, or he is startled in to a reaction. For all the age difference that is played up in their relationship, in the important moments Rook is the one who guides. And he follows where they lead.

Those little moans he makes? If they did have sex before, I bet he did not make those sounds then. Where they did have some incredible sex, now they are making love. Open, vulnerable. He gives in.

And then they fall asleep together. Skin to skin, arms and legs intertwined. Their hands caressing, no sound but that of their heartbeats and soft breaths. Pure and utter contentment. In that moment nothing exists but them. Can you imagine that moment he woke up? The amount of emotions he must have felt then? This need to speak those little words? Those huge little words. He does not say them, not yet. But he is almost ready.  

Finally, they stand there, on the battlefield of Elgar’nans madness. And he tells Rook. The last wall falls. Gives the most precious thing he can give to anyone.

“I love you.”

[imaginariumwanderer]

Mkay last post before logging off. Featuring silly pixel art I made w/ my mouse.

This chart was actually made out of pure self-indulgent a while back with no intention of being posted, I ended up scribbling(?) all over the thing. Hopefully it's readable when zoomed in.

It's "my ship in 5 minutes" but I can make it 30 if you want. WARNING: Tons of sappy yapping+pixel art download under cut.

About "tropes": The trope is called Angel-Devil shipping, oh but I don't think PV is an angel. He's more like a God for SM (at least that's my preference)… Thinking at all the possible tropes that suits them make me really wonder why some people consider Shadowvanilla a crack/pro ship. Enemies to lovers or villain/hero ships have been pretty archetypal since the day of olds. Compared to all the ships I've encountered in the past… Shadowvanilla is more or less the "slightly out of the norm" on the "problematic ships scale" <- typing this out make me feel like an old fandom veteran haha

About "how it happens": I have no idea where to put PV on that chart. He's the one who approached first, but not out of romantic intents, him falling for SM is as unexpected as can be. SM fell first and slowly, and in 'slow' I meant decades upon decades. It's inevitable, painfully so, spending all those years watching over this cookie who's so perfect in his imperfections, how could one not feel something? Of course it's not so simple, that 'something' is a horrid mixture of disgust, envy, hatred, understanding, both the need to preserve and destroy… And maybeee the tiniest crumb of affection? SM realized something around the first couple hundredth years mark, he then spends the next thousands in denial of it. No matter. Whether it's PV or the Soul jam, his birth-given rights. SM knows what he wants and he WILL get what he wants. (He's wrong on both fronts. And somewhere in the back of his mind, SM knows that. But he'll never admit it. He'll never ever admit anything. Until it's too late. In a way, the same goes for PV)

About a certain someone who's not clingy, but would die for attention: I think PV gets lonely easily. As he's hyper-aware of himself and considerate of others, appearing clingy is the last thing PV wants. So PV would put extra efforts in taking care of those around him, be it cookies, animals or the greenery in his garden. A healer is always busy, always helpful. If he's always needed by others then he would never be afraid of being alone. Ironically enough, this ended up making PV come off as a little overbearing. As of late, the only ones able to see through the facade are Hollyberry cookie and you-know-who.

Other scattered thoughts: These two are completely different yet can't be more similar, on the various sliding scales they're either stuck to one another or are flung to both ends. On another note, honestly I can't see these two doing anything domestic together, the most I can see is cooking, which is basically the same as magic in the cookie world. Anyways, are they in "love"? Are they dating? Not really, no. It's more of a a parasitic-turned-symbiotic-soulbond, a will-they-won't-they-destroy-the-world situationship (iykyk) I do enjoy relationships that's hard to put into words. Their feelings are somehow romantic, somewhat deranged and something much, much deeper.

My desire to ship these two comes from the desire to see them grow beyound their archetypes. Being with PV does give SM the chance to be horrible as can be, yeah, but I'd like to think SM does have a personality outside of being a villainous tormentor. He spends so long observing others, and now for the first time he's being seen. Now SM have met someone who can see right through him, who can glimpse into those dammed vulnerabilities of his. Being with SM does let us see PV in his darkest moments, but it's at the same time the moments where PV can shine the most, to prove SM that his ideals isn't naïveté or simple platitudes. In canon, SM+PV works well as enemies, but it is the many contradictions born when romance is added into the mix that got me shipping. They simultaneously break down and bolster one another's greatest traits. Like binary stars, they orbit around the other, so close yet so far apart, lest they collide. They could've been so perfect for each other. But not in this life, or the next, or the next...

Pixel art time! I have way too much fun w/ Smilk's many faces, his and PV's combined came to around 22 expressions. These are quick to made due to their small size (25x25 px). Zip file includes both the og and 75x75 sizes. I don't mind if any Vanilla milkshakers might use these, just please remember to read the my art terms and conditions first! (which can be found in my About)

Some disclaimer: some images may have different names. This is the first time I'm using Getuploader so sorry if something broke.

Link