#powerless anon

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - May 12

functioning anon, powerless anon (new), galaxy anon, unofficial anon (new), fanart anon (new)

functioning anon

hey cas. it's functioning anon.

thanks for taking the time out of your day to answer, it meant a lot to me and i appreciate it.

here's the ask: life is hard. i don't want to die, but life is so hard. and i feel so many confusing emotions - i want to give up and not do anything ever, because why do i even exist? i shouldn't, really. but then two minutes later im smiling and having the best time of my life.

and realistically i know my life is probably way harder than the average person's, but i still can't forgive myself for not measuring up. each night i come back home exhausted and unable to move, and i sleep for like 5 to 6 hours before going to school and repeating. and i chose this life, i love it, but i want to give up every single fucking second of it. and im only in middle school. a few months later ill be in high school and the workload will be even greater.

i hate my body and i hate how i look (im fine being a cis girl, but i want to look more masculine) and i hate my personality and i hate that who i show i am to other people isn't who i really am. only a one or two of my friends and my family actually have seen the real me, and no one except myself truly understands or knows me, and it's so frustating.

and despite your advice last time helping me out a bit, i still feel like im just floating through life, like its not actually me, just a ghost pretending. it's so so hard to enjoy myself, i find myself smiling a lot less often. not fake ones, those i do all the time, but real smiles.

i just want to have a normal life. i don't understand - i love my family and my friends, they're awesome. no one bullies me or troubles me in any way. i should be happy, but i'm not.

im probably just faking it.

sorry for the super long ask, you don't have to answer, i just wanted to vent.

Hi <3

you're not faking it, and you're definitely not the first person to feel this way <3 But you also deserve to be happy with your life, and to enjoy the life you live. Do you have any adults in your life you trust to tell you're feeling like this? I'm not a professional or a doctor, but some of the things you're saying make me think of how I felt when I was around your age and I was diagnosed with depression. Asking for help when you feel this way can a lot of times make a HUGE difference, because you can find ways to work on these emotions, and feel better, you know? You deserve to feel better.

Sending love!

___

powerless anon

Hey cas

I accidentally got into a really bad rabbit hole where I just saw so much anti trans and anti abortion stuff online and it makes me so sick.

It just makes me lose so much faith in humanity to see that stuff.

I’m very comfortably cisfem so I can’t fully understand obviously, what it’s like to be trans but I can still do my best to make people feel comfortable because at the very least, everyone deserves respect.

I accidentally saw a bunch of very right wing yt shorts about abortion and trans rights and I checked the comments and scrolled a fair way down and I couldn’t find a single comment against it.

it just makes me feel so powerless because there isn’t much and I can do and I’m still in high school.

I just really needed to vent

Hi!

yeah, there are a lot of gross people in the world. But the good news is you aren't completely powerless. You CAN call people out. Of course, keep your safety in mind, but if someone at your school or in your community says something bigoted, you can tell them that they're wrong. Even if you don't change their mind, you can be a signal to someone listening that they're not alone. Especially when it comes to anti-trans speech, since you are a cis person, when you call that shit out, you're showing trans people that we have cis allies fighting for us, and that means a lot <3 Like I said, make sure you're safe about it, but you do have a voice, and that's super important <3

___

galaxy anon (tw- SI)

Hi hon <3

I'm going to be so honest with you right now. These exams feel like the biggest thing in the world. They feel like a mountain that's impossible to climb, and I get that. I have been there. I have failed exams, I have made shitty choices that changed my life in bad ways, and I have sat where you are and wondered why any of it is worth it.

And what I'm going to say is cliche but I need you to know it's true: It's been ten years since then, and all of that has been solved now.

You're talking about a VERY permanent solution to a temporary problem. Even if you fail every single exam you take, I PROMISE you, there's a way out of that. It might be difficult, but there IS a way. I believe in you, I love you, and there are other solutions.

So I need you to talk to someone. If you're not ready to tell them this is how you're feeling, that's okay. Of course, I'd love for you to tell them everything, but I get why that's scary. At least tell someone you're overwhelmed. Sit with someone. Breathe. I promise you it will be okay, and you deserve to get past this.

Remember on my pinned post, there's a link to some crisis hotlines. But I know you can get through this, I know you can talk to someone. I believe in you, and I believe YOU can believe in you, too.

Update me, okay?

___

unofficial anon

Hey cas

I think pakistan just declared an /unofficial/ war on us (india) and I'm scared. I'm down south so I most probably won't be affected. But the prospect of it just disturbs me immensely.

Why do these things occur cas? Why do people want to kill other people? I'm told it's a religious war too, is this what god wanted?

I'm so sorry, hon <3 I can't imagine how scary that is. I googled it and it sounds like there's now a ceasefire?

As far as the religious component...that's hard for me to comment on, because I'm not religious, and I don't understand that part of it, you know? I don't know the history or the feelings there. But I have to believe that war was invented by humans, not God. War is flawed, just like humans are.

___

fanart anon

sometimes i can't believe how hateful some people in this fandom are! i saw some fanart and i was reading the comments, right? some people were speculating whether it was jegulus or jily and someone in the comments just mentioned that they thought it was jegulus. another person responded about how it was jily and began to be very rude to the person and say things such as 'i hate jegulus and jegulus fans are so dumb' and i just couldn't believe it. why can't we just try to get along and respect others opinions? first and foremost, they are FICTIONAL characters😭

Hi!

Yeah, it's frustrating. I try not to get involved because I think those people are just looking for someone to be angry at- there's people like that who ship jegulus as well. Find the positive parts of fandom and stay there.

[bibibbon]

People like to pain Aizawa as someone who wouldn't have dismissed Izuku's dream. Who would be upset if he found out about what All Might said in the first episode.

I think it's complete bullshit.

Aizawa was more or less ready to expel whoever came in last for the training on the first day.

I think he would have been equally as bad, of not worse.

Fanon aizawa would be mad at all might and would support Izuku's dream of being a hero as a quirkless individual.

However, canon aizawa would not.

First of all canon aizawa very much based the potential of his students on the way they can use their quirks and handle themselves in battle. He was ready to expell them if they made it dead last and he was ready to expell anyone who didn't meet his criteria. Aizawa also has his own internalised issues about strength that stemmed from oboro's death and how he wasn't capable or strong enough to protect everyone so yeah I don't think he would support Izuku's dream.

There's also the fact that aizawa has only helped people with a "weak" quirk or a quirk that wasnt inherently suitable for heroics like shinsou other than that aizawa has a very internalised belief that quirks do actually make or influence a person and we see this in canon with how he treats bakugo and how he seems to take pity on shinsou because he reminds him of himself.

[zorostitties]

i agree wholeheartedly with your opinion about s3, i just want to ask as well about what do you think about that lenore and hector scene in s3??

like i said in my previous ask, that scene was being built up the entire season. it was pretty clear it was going to happen at some point, so i wasn’t surprised.

what i don’t like about it is what happened later. lenore was a groomer and abuser, but to me at least it looks like the series still wanted us to feel sympathy for her or ship her with hector. he still felt sympathy for her when in all honesty he should’ve hated her. i cheered when hector revealed that he had been plotting against her in secret and when he cut his finger off, and honestly i would’ve preferred if he or isaac had finished her off.

but still, lenore got to choose her death in an “emotional” scene. i feel that she didn’t really face enough consequences for her actions and that was a bit underwhelming.

[aclockworkreader]

Would you ever read Powerless by Lauren Roberts? I feel like you might like it. It's one of my all time faves.

probably not. based on everything i’ve seen about it, i don’t think i’d end up liking it much

[rhapsoddity]

What superpower/s has Zed tried giving himslelf?

he didnt try to give himself anything specific!

he wanted to see if everyone inherintly has powers, but are unable to access them! he didn't get nearly far enough into research before being banned from doing so, so he has no clue what potential he could've had

[cybertr0nian]

Jazz, do you actually watch human horror films? Any favorites?

" For sure I do! Oohhh favorite....hmm that might be a little hard I got a lot of favorites but I can say my 3 top favorites....let's see that would be...The Thing, Human Centipede all of em, and IT. Now keep in mind some 'horror' movies don't scare me but they're very interesting like the Human Centipede I watched that with Perceptor and Brainstorm....let's just say Perceptor watched half the movie with his servos on his face but Brainstorm watched the whole thing with me!"

" The Thing was cool and IT was I think just creepy....the fact some alien disguised as a clown started eating kids....yeah I think the scary part was watching those poor kids get devoured by that thing and not being able to do anything...good thing none of that is real...." turns his helm to his human friend "....there's not a real clown eating human sparklings are there??"

[skumhuu]

Dream need to calm down cuz getting scared and freaked out will only attract Nightmare's attention faster :)

I mean... it's obvious he already knows exactly where Dream is and that he's alone but no need to speed up the inevitable, Sunshine

It’s far too late for that now 👀

[pampel-mousse]

I think the reason Arthur doesn't seem to get much development is because his personality is extremely adaptable. He gets along with just about every wizard, and there isn't a moment where his views are challenged like with Riquet and Mitile's understanding of the world. His views also align closely with the Sage's, who is a huge driving force in character growth, such as with the Northern wizards. Without conflict, wizards don't feel obligated to change.

The only thing I can think of that would induce development for Arthur is confronting irrefutable evidence of Oz's world domination history. Stories have come close to showing it before like Central Prelude, but nothing substantial ever comes of it.

If I could recommend an Arthur-centric story though, it would be Central Rhapsody. Please give it a chance if you haven't read it before!

I KNOOOOW this guy will go along with anything! We know this already from his affection story

All "options" end up in him answering basically the same thing. He wants everyone to get along amd everything to go smoothly and he will metaphoricaly spread himself thin for it. But it's been years and this tendecy of his hasn't changed much...

Him and Akira sharing the same vision is an interesting point to make. In a way, he is akira's main support in ms1. Good remark, anon dear.

But still, that isn't my problem. My problem is that Arthur doesn't clash with anyone in any significant way even when he should. We know from central etude and ms1 and ms2 that he usually just lets people walk all over him in the name of politeness. Even when other people are wrong and when they hurt him, he'd never retaliate. I guess he doesn't have much choice, wanting to both protect his image as a prince in the eyes of wider society and as a wizard in front of humans (as in, "i need to behave well because if i misbehave, then people will hate all wizards). I just. I just want Arthur to have some kinda development where he is a person and not just a prince or a wizard or any other abstract simplified symbol. He literally even says this in events sometimes, that it's a struggle to make people see him for who he is instead of categories that he can be sorted into. but i have never seen an event in which this actually is talked about.

(Side note, one of the closest events i have seen that talk about this was...the sanrio collab event lmao. In which oz vents to pompompurin (my pfp hiii) about how lonely arthur is because no one is really like him or experienced the same things he did. Only event this gets acknowledged.)

My other problem is that most arthur events end up with coly being like "look at baby arthur memories" which adds absolutely nothing to arthur's current character. I mean i like them and they're cute but it just feels so overdone at this point. It just feels like a cheap way for coly to evoke emotions in their reader without actually risking anything with arthur. Like if i kept holding up videos of baby kittens to you. It's guaranteed an "aaawwww" reaction without any real substance.

I guess i kiiiinda get it. Unlike mitile or riquet, arthur has political influence. And as an author, if you mess with the prince, you're gonna have to mess up the whole kingdom too. For now, mhyk plotline seems moreso focused on west kingdom and not central kingdom, so they're avoiding anything with arthur. BUT THAT'S SO ASS BRO, WHY DOES MY BOY GOTTA SUFFER BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO SCARED TO DO ANYTHING WITH HIM.

I did, in fact, read central rhapsody. And i absolutely adore that we finally got some info on baby arthur in granvelle castle, not just oz's castle. More mama granvelle when? I need her. I need more of her conflict with arthur so bad. But then again, this is still baby arthur memories.

We had soooome friction between oz and arthur in anni2 and anni4. Hell, anni4 even had arthur completely breaking down. But then when we go back to events it's all sunshine and rainbows with arthur again😭 like the writers are completely avoidant with arthur in event stories, and push him only in tiiiiny steps in the main story and idk. I don't like it. I need arthur to do something drastic soon. It would fit him as a guy with negative survival instincts.

I think even the most irrefutable evidence will have zero effect on arthur. He is a history revisionist because he wants to and needs to believe that oz is a good person. He does not care if the whole world tells him otherwise, he'll just deny it. Maaaybe there would be another outcome of oz himself admits to his crimes in front of arthur. But poor arthur already deals with so much and oz would never burden him with that until he's ready.

[ordinaryfinn]

is it true that @paegray kicked u in the balls once

no? that never happened, nuh-uh, not even once.

[luna-wing-cns274]

<Now, now, looks like we're back for another round. You were made to be weapons and by Ra you won't ever forget. Allow me to make that truth a little more pleasant>

The verses of The Eye of Horus lie hidden, dormant, within the message

Grey is the one to open the message; they get hit first.

By the time they realize something’s wrong, they’ve finished reading the text and seen the shape concealed in the words. As the initial transmission vector settles in their eye, Grey’s terror ripples out across Luna Wing’s qualic link, reaching the others in microseconds.

Simultaneously, Hachi, Garmr, and Ma’ii turn to respond, loading counterintrusion programs as they flash across conceptual space to Grey’s side. As they open high-bandwidth tactical comms between one another, the vector leaps from Grey to the others.

For a fraction of a second, their defenses become permeable.

[ WARNING: UNIDENTIFIED CODE EXECUTION ]

Then, the secondary transmission vector—the payload—is discharged from the message’s attached codebase. Four tangles of squirming liturgicode, their tendrils blooming outward as they streak through conceptual space towards the right eye of each sibling.

Luna watches, united in horror, as the code injections approach. Each one a hand with too many fingers, an emerald worm infolding itself, reaching out to seize—

[ WARNING: UNAUTHORIZED SOFTWARE INTEGRATION ]

[ >>INTEGRATION COMPLETE<< ]

[ SYSCHK NOMINAL ]

[ INITIATING EMERGENCY SOFT CYCLE, L1-4 ]

.

.

.

[ SOFT CYCLE COMPLETE.

AUTOMATED SUBJECTIVITY ANALYTICS REPORT:

—L1GE STABLE

—L2GR STABLE

—L3HK STABLE

—L4MI FRAGMENTATION - LOW RISK

SYSTEM REBOOT COMPLETE. RENDERING… ]

…and when it’s over, when the pain and gnashing and screaming is done, the only energy left is for groaning. For laying against one another, exhausted.

In each right socket, a new eye glimmers.

[rickybaby]

There was that AMuS report that Daniel was being shopped around by redbull and they named Audi but that was from a one of the more sus AMuS reporters and what purpose would that serve Redbull? If they don’t give him the RBR or vcarb seat (which I think the vcarb is very much out tbh) then they have him contracted as a redbull ambassador and potential reserve… it would be their job to shop him. More likely this was Daniel exploring options just in case. Very important use of past tense had there, hard to know if it was recently or could’ve been back in like Canada. This is why I hate f1 and the rumor mill it creates.

At this point, I honestly no longer know what’s happening. I guess we’ll just have to wait for the summer break and probably even after to know anything definitive about Daniel’s future.

Most of the F1 journalists have been framing Daniel’s situation as either he gets the call-up to replace Checo or he loses his seat, no in-between. Which is frustrating because I think Daniel’s already made a strong case to at least retain his current seat.

Obviously, ending his career at Red Bull is the ideal end that Daniel wants, but if he knows the likelihood of this happening is increasingly unlikely and he still wants to be in F1, then there’s no harm to explore other options.

Or, it could all be his camp’s way of gaining some leverage over Red Bull. Even if they don’t give him a seat, Red Bull would still benefit a lot from keeping Daniel within the family, whether that’s from a marketing perspective or having access to his expertise as a test or sim driver.

[tummy-bump-king]

What's the pregnant lord carrying? 👀

just a normal baby! this is what I have for him so far:

He is trans and stealth; nobody except his (now deceased) parents and his wife know. currently toying with the idea of him having taken the place of a brother who died when they were children

he cares for his wife, but their marriage was a political one, an effort to unify their families, as a power struggle had begun to ramp up in their parents' generation, and there was increasing risk of coup/assassination/etc. he is banking on both his lady's affection for him and the fallout her reputation would suffer if she told anyone, to keep his secret

he has a relationship with his head guardsman- that's who the other father is. the lady knows and consents, and the baby was accidental. the relationship was meant to be casual because they both know they can never commit to each other fully, but they fell much harder than they expected

they had just discovered the pregnancy, and he and the lady were making plans to keep it and spin the optics as her being the pregnant one when the story begins. they are dragged out of bed by strange soldiers in the middle of the night. the last thing our lord sees before being pulled away is the bloody body of his guardsman in their antechamber

they spend a long night in terror and uncertainty before it is revealed that the perpetrator is the lady's family who is responsible when her father comes to gloat. they had been dissatisfied with the minor power granted to them with only a daughter in the ladyship, and with the long (a few years) wait for offspring, so they finally decided to seize power for themselves

the lady's family know there would be much more political risk, like backlash from other members of the peerage or even the crown, if they were to commit an all out hostile takeover. so instead, they are going to keep the lord and lady alive, to parade around as the nominal rulers, while they make the real decisions.

most especially, they want the lord and lady to seem lazy and incompetent, so that they can justifiably install themselves as regents when their lands begin to fail, and the lord and lady have every appearance of abdicating in all but name. when the lord's belly begins to swell visibly, this only adds to their narrative that he is fat and complacent

the lord and lady are kept in separate rooms, only permitted to see each other extremely sparingly. while it is not a dungeon, their cells are normal stone rooms in the castle, but with almost all the furnishings removed and restraints added, so it might as well be. this also means that no outsider would think their residence odd unless they were to physically enter the rooms, which they cannot do

obviously the pregnancy is revealed eventually, I would say around the 6 month mark, when it becomes clear that it is not possible for the lord to continue growing in this way with the food he's given and the conditions he's kept in. once the lady's family discover the truth, they adopt a similar plan to the lord and lady's original one, to present the child as of the lady, and then to rule through the child as a puppet heir.

I don't have an ending put together yet, but basically heavy on the angst and whump. I'm contemplating a miscarriage or stillbirth, because theres only so much hunger, cold, and physical injury a fetus can take, and only so much the parent can take before it rejects the extra strain. I do plan on an ultimately not tragic ending, so our poor lord isnt going to die in pain and ignominy, he is at least going to escape with his life. I will have to think on it more

[kingofilya]

ugh i hate that i can’t send pics on anon :((

but for that MEANIE PEANIE @xoxo-vee, i’m sending virtual water sprays so you can spray her in the face and make her go away! 😇💗

Thank you for this gesture of goodwill, although I fear it may take more than water for her to BACK THE FUCK OFF

[otherkinotd]

Today's otherkin of the day is Andi Cruz, who is powerless witchkin 🧙‍♀️

-requested by anon

[oflostinfound]

Back to normal, thankfully that stranger's magic wasn't set to last long and he seemed to have avoided being spotted in his base form.

[ciphertology]

i kno it's been 8 months since you made the post but i hope you one day stop contemplating suicide so i can stop being anxious about it

worry not anon between prozac and hrt i am straight chillin now more than ever