#functioning anon

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - April 18

give up anon (new), 🍋 anon, new relationship anon (new), pg anon, thumbs down anon (new), the anon, grounded anon, functioning anon (new)

give up anon

I don’t really know what to do anymore. My life just feels bad all the time and I’m almost never happy.

(The rest is redacted)

Hi <3

I know it feels absolutely awful to feel like this. I've been there, and it's like...indescribable. But please know that it does get better and the important thing is to be gentle with yourself. Do small things to take care of yourself, and remember that you are worthy of love. Remember that doing anything - taking a shower, going on a walk, finishing a small task - is better than nothing. And, if you're able to, finding a therapist might really help

Sending love!

__________

🍋 anon

Hi it’s 🍋 anon. I FINALLY made a new art account and I’ve started posting. It feels good but omg the pressure. I do want to DM you maybe once I get a little more comfortable I will. Also would to have ideas for what to draw . I’m so thankful to you. I’ve been trying really hard to like my art now after changing my style since I’m trying to be different than what I used to be before and it’s hard, but I’m getting there I think. I think I’m slowly getting there I think and hopefully I’ll soon be able to take commissions and be a great artist 😭😭😭😭

(I would love any encouragement, I do tend to be very self critical) Also if you happen to find me naturally I would love that. It’s a Wolfstar fanart that I’ve posted. But it’s ok if you don’t. Sorry for rambling.

Hi! I'm so glad you're posting art again! You should definitely DM me, I'd love to see it! Congrats on the new account!!

___

new relationship anon

Heyy. So, help?

So I am openly trans, and my partner is straight, and it's a new relationship, too recent.

And since I am openly trans, (I have been in pride, I am in lgbtqia club in uni, have been going to doctor regularly, etc.) I thought he knew when we first met. Because like, we met at a pride-like celebration ( in January, it was kinda new year for gays? It is almost the same as pride believe me). He said he came to support his sister (lesbian) and such. We talked there. I didn't had a noticeable flag on me, my nails painted in trans flag colors and my outfit in those colors too but not a flag directly.

Anyway we exchanged numbers, we talked, we talked more, hangout, after about 3 months we started dating at 1 April (bad date to start dating I guess?)

And now, after 15 days, I realized he doesn't know I am..trans? Like. Is he blind.

Blond technically

Anyway, but like, right now I am stressing out because I thought he knew? I have plenty of things around me that screams trans and he doesn't know I guess? What if he doesn't want to date me anymore this is new I don't want to ruin it- I wanted this to be something that lasts..

How do I say him? He is straight, what if he doesn't like me.

Fuck, cas, I am gonna cry

hi!

I mean so...I don't think hiding it is going to go well, in this situation. Like, he's going to find out eventually, you know? And really, why date him if he doesn't like you for who you are?

I think it's just thinking about HOW to tell him? Do you feel safe telling him in person or should it be over text? Should you have someone with you if you tell him irl? I know it's bad to think about, but I've heard stories of trans people getting bad reactions when coming out, and you want to make sure to stay safe.

I mean, I'd hope that he knows. Or at LEAST is supportive, given that you met a a pride event and he supports his sister. But yeah, I'd be like "hey, I wanted to make sure you know..." and go from there.

But remember that if he has a bad reaction, it's NOT a reflection on you or your worth. You deserve love <3

___

pg anon

for friends: I genuinely don't think you can do anything else. all you can do is be there for them as much as your mental health allows. from what you're saying, you've literally done anything I can think of, so the important thing is to just be there, listen, and give them love. But also remember it's okay to step away when you need it. You can't help anyone if you're not feeling well.

dizzy: it's....mildly concerning the doctors aren't doing more about this. Like...what's causing the low iron? It sounds super frustrating, but also I'd ask more questions. push them to actually do their jobs, you know?

friend w cancer: I can't say much to this other than that sounds so overwhelming and I'm sending hugs <3

coming out: I mean if you don't want to do a whole coming out thing, could you just say 'btw, I'm dating x' and leave it at that? And if they ask about sexuality/labels say you don't want to talk about it? That way they're aware, but it's more of a casual thing. Or do they know about your boyfriend?

Your positives made me smile!

<3

--

thumbs down anon

I've been a lesbian for the past five-ish years and since I figured it all out I've been really secure. But recently there's been this one guy and I've just been really confused. I've questioned my sexuality a few times but always in a passing conforming to the expectations of my extended family kind of way and just the thought of daring a man would make me feel off. But that's not really the case here and I'm just lost I guess. I'm not really too invested in labeling or figuring out this new thing anytime soon because quite frankly, I'm not sure I like him back. I feel like I do but I struggle sometimes to tell platonic and romantic feelings apart. And beyond that, I am terrified of commitment. Ans unfortunately I don't know him too well. I've known him technically for four years but not until the last week did we talk. I did tall to him about it but I really don't know how to process any of this. One one hand I feel like I'm betraying myself (for sure due to my fear of change) but at the same time I know I'm not. All in all, feelings are weird and I'm not a fan👎

Hi!

I, too, am not a fan of feelings lol

I mean if he's aware of your conflicting feelings and he's chill with it and you're also comfortable, maybe you could just...explore your feelings? Hang out with him and see what happens naturally? It's okay to explore feelings without knowing exactly what will happen, as long as everyone's comfortable and no boundaries are broken. It's also okay to not tell people until you're ready. It's also okay do decide you don't want to explore this! Honestly, whatever feels right to you (again, as long as everyone's comfortable and boundaries aren't broken).

__

the anon

heyyy, it’s the anon!! Been awhile since I popped in, nuh? (Like nearly 6 weeks, damn)

Anygays- I’ve got words to speak and such (obvi, why else would I be here?)

So, I’ve been doing better at setting up boundaries with my partner. It’s been a slow struggle, but I have begun doing so.

There is one caveat to all this

Let me preface this by saying I’m in a special program for school (Idk if I’ve menti9ned it before, but yeah. Special program)

My partner has been missing so much school that they’re transferring to online instead of in person. Sad part? I feel way more comfortable at that thought. I kinda feel like a horrible partner because of how I feel about it. And it’s not even cuz I know it’ll help them, it’s because I know that I don’t have to put on as much of a mask during school.

I don’t get it, I don’t really know what to think.

Ignoring the negative/advice seeking part of my ask, I do have good news!! I made a friend à few months back, but just started talking to him more frequently. And guess what?? I managed to get him into Marauders. He literally stayed up all night to learn all about it.

So far his fav marauder is Remus, kin is regulus, and overall his fav ship is wolfstar

(I also got a very ‘angry’ text from him saying “WHY DIDNT YOU TELL MY BARTY’S NAME WAS BARTHOLOMEW” obvi, Barty’s name isn’t bartholomew its Bartemus or however the hell you spell it. But it was funny)

Hi!

I don't think you should feel guilty for your feelings. Sometimes spaces is what people need to sort their feelings out, you know? I'm glad you're working on boundaries, it a difficult thing! Remember that your partner's reaction to your boundaries is also a key sign.

Omg Barty's name being Bartolomeu would be awful.

___

grounded anon

hi! I answered your ask right here :) God, what your mom said is so messed up and disgusting though, that's infuriating. I hope you know how wrong she is.

___

functioning anon

hi cas. do you have any advice on how to start actually living, like being a functioning human being, instead of letting your mind float through brainrot and just generally hating existance?

idk if you'll get it but i'm just feeling very dead rn.

I totally get this. For me, making to do lists of little things I need to do to take care of myself (brush teeth, take a shower, eat) and then crossing them off is super motivating and helps me get out of bed on those days. Maybe that could help?

[idontmindifuforgetme]

Imagining if I was this age during the Iraqi war and I had to watch losers on tumblr call the genocide that is actively happening at the hand of the us “foreign affairs that they can’t do anything about” and then I had to convince people to spare pocket change so my people could escape mass slaughter and then some chronically online tumblr user sent me an ask that was like “guilt tripping people into caring won’t get you far” as if caring for people who’re dying isn’t literally part of being alive and you shouldn’t be persuaded into it in the first place

[torchickentacos]

WE HAVE ACCURATE AG FANSUBS!!!!!! NOT A DRILL!!!!!!!!! Much like the few subs we do have, you'll need VLC media player and to download the files and run them through vlc but they're here. Bless.

[allastoredeer]

Hiii,

I was just wondering what you think the power hierarchy for overlords is, I’ve seen some people say Zestiel’s the strongest overlord and others say it’s Alastor. Tbh a pet peeve of mine is when people write Alastor as way stronger than Vox/ The Vees, personally I see Vox and Alastor as being on the same level, maybe with Alastor being slightly stronger. That’s why they haven’t fought it out, there’s to much for both of them to loose, like when in Stayed Gone Valentino said Alastor ‘Almost’ beat him.

Just wondering what you think xx

I think all the Overlord's are on a similar level to each other, if not in terms of raw power, than in politics. I believe Viv confirmed that Rosie isn't as powerful as the other Overlords, or at least she's the least powerful of them, but I think it's through politics that keeps anyone from messing with her. She's literally running an entire district full of cannibals. If you mess with her, you're going to find out what it's like to have the population in your district gobbled up.

Sure, none of them will permanently die, but if they were in your employ, it's gonna cause a fuckton or problems (and financial losses) when none of your employees make it to work.

With the Vee's, I can see them sharing all the souls they own, or keeping it split evenly between them. Even so, having to keep things fair can put a damper on their individual power since they can't just gather souls en masse without consulting the other two.

If they're sharing souls, however, (and each Overlord in the Council has roughly the same amount of souls - if there's a certain number of souls you have to own to be considered an Overlord) the Vee's being able to tap into power that is 3x stronger than a single Overlord has it's advantages XD I'm sure there are still drawbacks to it, everything has their pros and cons.

I think Zestial is definitely one of the most powerful out of them, considering he's the oldest and thus has had that much longer to collect souls. But we also know that he's currently retired, so I don't think he's really in the game of upping his collection. I think he's content where he is and won't get involved unless absolutely necessary.

Carmilla on the other hand, I can see getting up there with Zestial, not in the amount of souls she owns, but because of her trade. She literally makes weapons using angelic steel (a material that can not only kill sinners - like the other Overlords - but demon royalty like the goetia). As far as we know, Carmilla has a monopoly on the creation and distribution of angelic weapons, which makes a serious threat to a majority of the hierarchy in Hell. I imagine that she is constantly being watched by the other Overlords cuz there's always the possibility she'll turn her weapons on them. Which is also why I think she's so careful about not inviting violence into her home.

Creating weapons with angelic steel gives her a big advantage over everyone else, but it also puts a massive target on her back. I can see the other Overlords creating an alliance to take her out if she ever gave the impression of turning her weapons on them, because in that case, she'd be a threat to all of them. If she were to align herself with certain Overlords, I can also see the rest of the council seeing that as a threat. Which is why I think she stays so neutral. She's friends with Zestial, but Zestial's also retired, so I don't think they consider that much of a threat.

I don't know what Zeezi or fire-guys deal is. We don't know much about them.

But Alastor? I think Alastor is a very special case. He was taking out Overlord's very early after his death, which i imagine is incredibly hard to do. I mean, they're Overlords for a reason, and they were heavy-hitters (according to Mimzy).

Even then, it's not like he killed them and then immediately broadcasted their screams. Mimzy said Overlords started going missing, and then later Alastor broadcasted their screams. So, he didn't only take them out, but he was keeping them somewhere. It could have something to do with the deal he made, but no one else knows about that. To all of them, Alastor was working on his own.

All they know about him is that he took out a LOT of the previous Overlord Council, and then broadcasted their screams. Considering the Overlords were never heard from again afterward, one could assume that he'd killed them.

Did he use angelic weapons to do this? Hell if they know.

How did he manage to grab so many and come out without a scratch? It's a mystery.

Where and how did he broadcast their screams? The question remains unanswered to this day.

Alastor literally came into Hell like an Overlord's worst nightmare. Can you imagine the Council's reactions as, one by one, their members started going missing? They didn't know how, they didn't know who was doing it, and they didn't know if they would be next. Alastor came in like the apex predator to Overlords and did something no one thought was possible almost overnight.

Do you think he showed up to the Overlord Council meetings on his own? Or was he invited? Can you imagine how the other Overlord's must've felt sitting next to Alastor, the person who had killed (as far as they're concerned) other Overlords like them?

In the show, it doesn't look like Alastor has any territory like the others, nor does he really have a trade like everyone else, Carmilla's weapons, Rosie's emporium, the Vee's products and entertainment, (except his radio show, but we don't actually know if he makes money off of that). He's not necessarily active in the city's economy (except providing quality entertainment!), so in all respects, he's kind of just...vibing. He's just there to have a good time.

I also think the reason none of the other Overlord's mess with him is because they don't want him to go back to killing Overlord's. He's unpredictable at best, so there's no telling if he'd decide to up and do it again one day, but he seems content where he is and they'd rather he stayed that way. They're not all buddy-buddy with him (except Rosie, and maybe Zestial), but they won't antagonize him either (except for you, Vox).

Considering in the present they don't treat Alastor like they're afraid of him or nervous about his presence, I think enough time has passed that they've stopped worrying he'd going into another Overlord murder-spree, but the thought lingers from time to time, especially if you were there during his murder-spree. I can't imagine Valentino or Velvette (Velvette especially) giving a lot of credit to Alastor's skill or backstory since they weren't there to experience his broadcasts first hand. Wonder if they're tune would change if they WERE there for it.

I also wonder how many new Overlords popped up after Alastor took out a majority of the others. Who in the Overlord council do we know were there. Zestial, for sure. But Rosie? Zeezie? Fire-guy? Carmilla?

Until we know when they died, we can't be sure, but I do love thinking about it. The aftermath of Alastor's murder-spree had to be something.

[anghraine]

Hi! Can you explain what really the power of foresight was with Faramir? I read the books earlier this year and I don't really quite understand it. He could predict the future? Like he would see it in his dreams? But how did he found out from Gollum that he was taking frodo and sam to cirith ungol and that he had committed murder before?

No problem, it's one of my favorite topics!

The concise explanation: I think Faramir's foresight/aftersight in terms of visions is a largely separate "power" from his ability to bring his strength of mind and will to bear on other people and animals, and to resist outside influence. The visions seem more a matter of broad sensitivity, something Faramir doesn't appear to have much if any control over. The second power is (in our terms) essentially a form of direct telepathy, limited in some ways but still very powerful, and I think this second ability is what Faramir is using with Gollum.

The really long version:

In my opinion, Faramir (or Denethor, Aragorn, etc) doesn't necessarily read thoughts like a book, particularly not with a mind as resistant as Gollum's. Faramir describes Gollum's mind in particular as dark and closed, it seems unusually so—

"There are locked doors and closed windows in your mind, and dark rooms behind them," said Faramir.

Still, Gollum is unable to entirely block Faramir's abilities. In LOTR, it does not seem that Gollum can fully block powerful mental abilities such as Faramir's, though his toughness and hostility does limit what Faramir can see. (Unfinished Tales, incidentally, suggests iirc that Denethor's combination of "great mental powers" and his right to use the Anor-stone allowed him to telepathically get the better of Saruman through their palantíri, a similar but greater feat.) I imagine that this is roughly similar to, but scaled down from, Galadriel's telepathic inquiries of even someone as reluctant to have her in his mind as Boromir, given that Faramir is able to still see some things in Gollum's mind, if with more difficulty than usual.

(WRT Boromir ... ngl, if I was the human buffer between Denethor and Faramir, I would also not be thrilled about sudden telepathic intrusions from basically anyone, much less someone I had little reason to trust.)

Disclaimer: a few years after LOTR's publication, Tolkien tried to systematize how this vague mystical telepathy stuff really works. One idea he had among many, iirc, was that no unwilling person's mind could be "read" the ways that Gollum's is throughout LOTR. IMO that can't really be reconciled w/ numerous significant interactions in LOTR where resistance to mental intrusion or domination is clearly variable between individuals and affected by personal qualities like strength of will, basic resilience, the effort put into opposition, supernatural powers, etc. And these attempts at resistance are unsuccessful or only partially successful on many occasions in LOTR (the Mouth of Sauron, for one example, is a Númenórean sorcerer in the book who can't really contend with Aragorn on a telepathic level). So I, personally, tend to avoid using the terminology and rationales from that later systematized explanation when discussing LOTR. And in general, I think Tolkien's later attempts to convert the mystical, mysterious wonder of Middle-earth into something more "hard magic" or even scientific was a failed idea on a par with Teleporno. Others differ!

In any case, when Gollum "unwillingly" looks at Faramir while being questioned, the creepy light drains from his eyes and he shrinks back while Faramir concludes he's being honest on that specific occasion. Gollum experiences physical pain when he does try to lie to Faramir—

"It is called Cirith Ungol." Gollum hissed sharply and began muttering to himself. "Is not that its name?" said Faramir turning to him. "No!" said Gollum, and then he squealed, as if something had stabbed him.

I don't think this is a deliberate punishment from Faramir—that wouldn't be like him at all—and I don't think it's the Ring, but simply a natural consequence of what Faramir is. Later, Gandalf says of Faramir's father:

"He can perceive, if he bends his will thither, much of what is passing in the minds of men ... It is difficult to deceive him, and dangerous to try."

So, IMO, Faramir's quick realization that Gollum is a murderer doesn't come from any vision of the future or past involving Gollum—that is, it's not a deduction from some event he's seen. Faramir does not literally foresee Gollum's trick at Cirith Ungol. His warning would be more specific in that case, I think. What he sees seems to be less detailed but more direct and, well, mystical. Faramir likely doesn't know who exactly Gollum murdered or why or what any of the circumstances were. Rather, Gollum's murderousness and malice are visible conditions of his soul to Faramir's sight. Faramir doesn't foresee the particulars of Gollum's betrayal—but he can see in Gollum's mind that he is keeping something back. Faramir says of Gollum:

"I do not think you are holden to go to Cirith Ungol, of which he has told you less than he knows. That much I perceived clearly in his mind."

Meanwhile, in a letter written shortly before the publication of LOTR, Tolkien said of Faramir's ancestors:

They became thus in appearance, and even in powers of mind, hardly distinguishable from the Elves

So these abilities aren't that strange in that context. Faramir by chance (or "chance") is, like his father, almost purely an ancient Númenórean type despite living millennia after the destruction of Númenor (that destruction is the main reason "Númenóreanness" is fading throughout the age Faramir lives in). Even less ultra-Númenórean members of Denethor's family are still consistently inheriting characteristics from their distant ancestor Elros, Elrond's brother, while Faramir and Denethor independently strike Sam and Pippin as peculiarly akin to Gandalf, a literal Maia like their ancestress Melian:

“Ah well, sir,” said Sam, “you [Faramir] said my master had an elvish air; and that was good and true. But I can say this: you have an air too, sir, that reminds me of, of—well, Gandalf, of wizards.”

He [Denethor] turned his dark eyes on Gandalf, and now Pippin saw a likeness between the two, and he felt the strain between them, almost as if he saw a line of smouldering fire drawn from eye to eye, that might suddenly burst into flame.

Meanwhile, Faramir's mother's family is believed to be part Elvish, a belief immediately confirmed when Legolas meets Faramir's maternal uncle:

At length they came to the Prince Imrahil, and Legolas looked at him and bowed low; for he saw that here indeed was one who had elven-blood in his veins. "Hail, lord!" he [Legolas] said. "It is long since the people of Nimrodel left the woodlands of Lórien, and yet still one may see that not all sailed from Amroth’s haven west over water."

In addition to that, Faramir's men believe he's under some specific personal blessing or charm as well as the Númenórean/Elvish/Maia throwback qualities. It's also mentioned by different groups of soldiers that Faramir can exercise some power of command over animals as well as people. Beregond describes Faramir getting his horse to run towards five Nazgûl in real time:

"They will make the Gate. No! the horses are running mad. Look! the men are thrown; they are running on foot. No, one is still up, but he rides back to the others. That will be the Captain [Faramir]: he can master both beasts and men."

Then, during the later retreat of Faramir's men across the Pelennor:

At last, less than a mile from the City, a more ordered mass of men came into view, marching not running, still holding together. The watchers held their breath. "Faramir must be there," they said. "He can govern man and beast."

Tolkien said of the ancient Númenóreans:

But nearly all women could ride horses, treating them honourably, and housing them more nobly than any other of their domestic animals. The stables of a great man were often as large and as fair to look upon as his own house. Both men and women rode horses for pleasure … and in ceremony of state both men and women of rank, even queens, would ride, on horseback amid their escorts or retinues … The Númenóreans trained their horses to hear and understand calls (by voice or whistling) from great distances; and also, where there was great love between men or women and their favorite steeds, they could (or so it is said in ancient tales) summon them at need by their thought alone. So it was also with their dogs.

Likely the same Númenórean abilities were used for evil by Queen Berúthiel against her cats. In an interview with Daphne Castell, Tolkien said:

She [Berúthiel] was one of these people who loathe cats, but cats will jump on them and follow them about—you know how sometimes they pursue people who hate them? I have a friend like that. I’m afraid she took to torturing them for amusement, but she kept some and used them—trained them to go on evil errands by night, to spy on her enemies or terrify them.

The more formal version of the Berúthiel lore recurs in Unfinished Tales:

She had nine black cats and one white, her slaves, with whom she conversed, or read their memories, setting them to discover all the dark secrets of Gondor, so that she knew those things "that men wish most to keep hidden," setting the white cat to spy upon the black, and tormenting them.

Faramir, by contrast, has a strong aversion to harming/killing animals for any reason other than genuine need, but apparently quite similar basic abilities. He typically uses these abilities to try to compassionately understand other people or gather necessary information, rather than for domination or provoking fear. Even so, Faramir does seem to use his mental powers pretty much all the time with no attempt to conceal what he's doing—he says some pretty outlandish things to Frodo and Sam as if they're very ordinary, but it doesn't seem that most people he knows can do all these things. This stuff is ordinary to him because it flows out of his fundamental being, not because it's common.

It's not clear how much fine control he has, interestingly. This is more headcanon perhaps, but I don't feel like it's completely under his control, even while it's much more controlled than things like Faramir's vision of Boromir's funeral boat, his frequent, repeated dreams of Númenor's destruction, the Ring riddle dream he received multiple times, or even his suspiciously specific "guess" of what passed between Galadriel and Boromir in Lothlórien. Yet his more everyday mental powers do seem to involve some measure of deliberate effort in a lot of the instances we see, given the differing degrees of difficulty and strain we see with the powers he and Denethor exhibit more frequently and consistently.

This is is also interesting wrt Éowyn, because Tolkien describes Faramir's perception of her as "clear sight" (which I suspect is just Tolkien's preferred parlance for "clairvoyance"). Faramir perceives a lot more of what's going on with Éowyn than I think he had materially observable evidence for—but does not see everything that's going on with her by any means. He seems to understand basically everything about her feelings for Aragorn, more than Éowyn herself does, but does not know if she loves him [Faramir].

I'm guessing that it's more difficult to "see" this way when it's directly personal (one of the tragedies of his and Denethor's relationship is that their shared mental powers do not enable either to realize how much they love each other). But it also doesn't seem like he's trying to overcome Éowyn's mental resistance the way he was with Gollum, and possibly Frodo and Sam—he does handle it a bit differently when it's not a matter of critical military urgency. With Éowyn, he sees what his abilities make clear to him, is interested enough to seek out Merry (and also perceive more than Merry says, because Faramir has never been a normal person one day in his life) but doesn't seem to really push either of them.

So I tend to imagine that with someone like Faramir, Denethor, Aragorn etc, we're usually seeing a relatively passive, natural form of low-grade telepathy that simply derives from their fundamental nature and personalities (as we see in Faramir with Éowyn, possibly Faramir with Aragorn). That can be kicked up to more powerful, forceful telepathy via active exertion of the will (as described by Gandalf wrt Denethor's ability to "bend[] his will thither" to see what passes in others' minds, and seen with Faramir vs Gollum, Aragorn vs the Mouth of Sauron, more subtly Faramir vs Denethor). At a high point of strain this can be done very aggressively or defensively (Denethor vs Gandalf, Denethor vs Saruman, Denethor vs Sauron seriously is there a Maia that man won't fight, Faramir vs the Black Breath given his completely unique symptoms that Aragorn attributes to his "staunch will", possibly Aragorn vs the Black Breath in a healing capacity...).

Anyway, I hope these massive walls of text are helpful or interesting! Thanks for the ask :)

[robobarbie]

I need......xyx.......crumbs .. . PLEASE

here's smth I wrote for the bp server a couple years back (jesus) when I played a game of Saw with them (they were great sports about it)

When Xyx drove you out for a 'romantic weekend getaway', you knew there would be some sort of twist�� there always was– but as you peer at the massive cliff looming overhead, you start to wonder if you'd live to see the romance part of the trip.

"Having second thoughts?" Xyx pops up from the pile of equipment in the back of the car behind you, flashing you a razor grin. "Too late to back out now. I've got the car keys."

"Ha ha…Me, chicken? Never."

You had hoped that engaging in his banter would keep him satisfied, but your anxiety is too transparent to make the lie stick. Xyx frowns and sets down the equipment. "Hey, love. If you're unsure, we can always do something else. I won't be offended."

"No, no! I'm just– having some jitters."

His eyes search yours for a moment, and the silence hangs heavily between you, until Xyx finally sighs and leans forward to kiss your forehead.

"Alright, if you insist. Let's get you suited up, then." He gives one of the harnesses an appraising look before handing it to you. "Step into the loops and pull them up. We'll tighten everything once you've got it on."

You stare at the pile of straps and loops, turning it over in your hands to puzzle out where your legs go; in turn, Xyx sees your predicament and bursts into laughter.

"Aw, doll, I didn't mean to stump you. Might have to start, though," he smirks. "You're adorable when you make that face."

You huff as he takes the harness from your hands, obediently stepping in with his guidance despite your scowl. "Adorable?!" 

"Well…" You watch his hands shift the loops around your thighs, and gasp when they linger and squeeze. "Actually, for this particular moment, I don't think I would use that word."

"Y-you sure you still want to go rock climbing?"

"Mm. Yes. But I think we may have to change our plans afterward." He gives the harness–and your thighs– one more squeeze. "Be a doll and stay still for just one more minute, would you? I have to tie you in." 

Xyx turns back to the equipment, retrieving a length of climbing rope that he gathers loosely in his hands. His face moves tauntingly close to yours as he reaches for your waist, loops the rope, and sets to tying a complex knot with ease; you can count the freckles on his face at this distance, and start doing so in order to keep your focus from slipping. Instead, it's reminding you of how easily you could kiss him right now, how if you tipped forward just enough–

He gives the knot a final, decisive tug, savoring your reaction as you're jolted back to reality (and pulled closer by the hips). "Now, just one more thing."

"Huh?" 

Closing the distance you had just been mourning, Xyx leads you in by the jaw and meets your lips in a slow, deep, kiss. You instinctively tilt your head; he replies with a pleased hum that rumbles through your head and down your spine. His hand caresses your cheek when it finally, reluctantly withdraws along with his face.

"For luck," he breathes.

You can scarcely breathe yourself, but with Xyx so close to you, looking at you so playfully and yet so helplessly in love, you imagine that the luck he's given you could take you anywhere.

“Now,” he says, taking your hand in his, “let’s go exploring.”

[pianokantzart]

Anyone here want to see more of Brooklyn and its inhabitants in future Mario movies?

Oh! Me me! 👋

Specifically, I need more slice of life Mario and Luigi just doing their day job; hanging out in pizza parlors, greeting locals, running around the streets and navigating traffic... normal guy stuff.

We've already got a ton of game content of those two doing whimsical things in faraway places, so it's a treat seeing them deal with normal problems like bad ex-bosses, crowded streets, malfunctioning vehicles and irresponsible clients.

[craske]

You know i always thought: if a bad cookie - for example cookies of darkness - ever had a redemption arc, obviously other people - for example a townsfolk or multiple anon cookies meant to fill in the "am an NPC" type of role - would take their anger out on shadow milk cookie!

For example whispering about him, not trusting him, maybe not sell anything to him and all an' all trying to isolating him because of what he had done can't be forgiven.

redemption is a very interesting thing to happen to a character. and heres the thing, everyone is capable of redemption if they 1. want that and 2. if they make active effort. redemption doesnt also mean forgiveness, those wronged dont have the obligation to forgive, but a well-done redemption means that despite that, the character actively works to get better.

and as for shadow milk, he would definitely be met with hostility, or distrust, or fear and such. not to mention he doesnt even help his own case early in the au story with his behavior. even though his millenium-long mania ended, he still has similar mentality as well and itd take some work and time for him to start changing his mind and behavior. but i think at some point he would start changing and to the point other cookies' approach to him would as well in return.

he would go from unwelcome and avoided through tolerated to actually accepted in space around others, he would find his own place. but for that to happen there would be much effort and time needed first

[ysaefinn]

I'm not sure if this crosses ur boundaries so if it does I'm so sorry!!!! but like what about suguru who tries to get reader to sleep on his lap, or in his arms, or even sleep beside him because she's insecure that she drools too much? and he just frowns and quite literally doesn't understand what the problem is

Heh...anon, i live for this shit

IT DOENST HAVE TO BE MOMMY!SUGU BTW!!!!! Suguru in general would fall even more if you drooled all over him (boyfriend who wants to be your bed too)

The only thing he thinks will cure your shame is lowkey exposure therapy, IM SORRY ANON HE DOESN'T PLAY ABOUT THIS, HE NEEDS YOU TO DEPEND ON HIM AND LET LOOSE ITS A HILL HE'LL DIE ON.

You will find yourself being lulled to sleep on his lap randomly, or if you try to escape from him when ur eyes start to droop and you get tired he'll offer to take you to bed like the sweet doting boyfriend he is!!!!!!! Nothing to worry about darling!!!!!! Once he's got you there's no escape, you will eventually wake up and start freaking out bcuz of the wet patch on his chest and he's just smiling SO SUAVE SO NONECHALLANT but you can see the fondness in his eyes, he's so giddy and thinks it's adorable, your being embarrassed is also cute to him (free you gang 💔) but ultimately he just wants you to be comfortable with him so he just acts like everything's fine 😭, look he's excited about this but will still choose your dignity over his aching maternal instincts, so he won't tease you about it <33 smooths down ur hair and kisses the crown of your head before asking how ur nap was, or if you'd like to sleep a little longer (trap) if you need water, if he could help you stretch (yeah, this is a thing), just distracts you, but you can tell that he's satisfied with this.

[ennn]

Hello :) I really enjoy reading your analysis on AAA!

What conversations do you think Agatha and Rio had between “because the truth is too awful “ and “what Billy wants is a violation”?

The shift between topics was so abrupt. What would they talk about to make Agatha want to make a deal to never see Rio again?

Hello Anon! Thank you for reading 💚 Okay so I think there's 2 parts to your question here, which is (a) why the change in topics between the conversation and (b) how it leads up to Agatha's deal.

Let's take a step back a bit. If we look at the first conversation, it already starts out about the Problem of Billy right?

And the whole Billy issue only exists in the context of what happened with Nicky. If Nicky had never been a thing, Agatha and Rio and their dynamic would be entirely different. Nicky was the breaking point of their relationship – a relationship with love and lust but also wrapped up in their opposing natures.

The conversation quickly escalates, shifting from Billy to their history and relationship. Rio, direct as ever, airs what must be a long-long-simmering grievance:

Rio: No one in history has had special treatment like you. Agatha: You call what you did "special treatment"? You gave me nothing. You took. Rio: And that's usually your move right.

Now the anger and frustration is starting to boil and Agatha tries to push past and get away from Rio – but Rio stops her and tries to deescalate this argument.

In other words – and to address your ask – the topic shifts because Rio is trying to have a conversation and not fight. Rio knows that Nicky is Agatha's deepest scar, and Agatha is a runner when she doesn't have control.

You can see Rio taking a second, watching Agatha, her tone softening as she asks the question:

Why do you let them believe those things about you, hm? About Nicky?

I think Rio tries to deescalate because she does need Agatha's help with the Billy situation: she can't kill him or reap his soul on her own. It's not a thing Rio is happy about or wants but she's got a job to do.

BUT in this show things are usually complicated: more than one thing can be true at the same time: I think Rio also cares about Agatha and wants to understand why.

After all it was Rio who told the group in episode 5 that Agatha killed her original coven because they tried killing her first. Agatha doesn't bother defending herself, if anything she plays up being this villain.

I mean, Rio loves this serial killer right. It's not the murder part of Agatha's reputation Rio cares about. Rio also has the unique insight of knowing exactly what happened to Nicky. This rumour that Agatha doesn't do anything to discourage seems to not only be an insult to Agatha but the memory of Nicky.

And then in a rare moment of vulnerability, Agatha decides to reveal her truth to Rio.

Because the truth is too awful

I read this moment as Rio trying to reach out and Agatha deciding to give an honest answer. Which again, is a precious rare thing coming from her.

I don’t think any transitional dialogue from this to the other conversation is really important, not as much as the emotional place this first conversation ends with, which allows for the second one about a potential collaboration to happen.

Also like, what do you say to something like that? Because wow there is a lot to unpack there.

Agatha’s implying that what Rio gave her and Nicky is worse than her sacrificing Nicky for power. That she isn’t trying to be cruel, she truly can’t see the gift of time Rio gave them. That she sees herself somehow responsible for what happened to Nicky. That she doesn’t just blame Rio, she blames herself.

If I had to plot out some kind of transition between these two conversations, I would do something like:

Let the silence after the admission drag on a bit. Rio looks concerned but doesn't say anything in the moment.

Agatha takes the opportunity to walk away. Rio doesn't stop her but follows. Agatha lets her.

After a moment of quiet walking, Agatha asks about when Rio knew about the Road hex and they compare notes for a bit (Rio probably throwing shade at the weird nature here). This time lets Agatha build up her walls again.

They sit down and talk about the point of the hex, which then nicely leads into their second conversation, starting with what Billy wants.

In their second conversation, what's interesting here how very reluctant Rio is about asking for Agatha's help. She knows Agatha and hates being in this position so much she doesn't even want to say it, letting Agatha piece together what she needs.

It must truly be a rare instance that Agatha has this kind of leverage over Rio, over Death.

Because Agatha reacts like a shark scenting blood in the water. She barely hides it.

This goes back to your question: Why does Agatha make such an deal that hurts Rio so badly?

My read is that Agatha basically reacts to this rush of power over Rio the same way she badly – almost instinctively – reacted to Alice presenting her with her magic:

She takes and takes and takes.

Because Rio's always been unstoppable but now Agatha can stop her. This is what's she's been hungering for.

That sense of helplessness she felt moments ago when she thought she had to let Billy go – like she let Nicky go – now turns to something with teeth.

You can see Agatha literally take a second to calculate the most cruel thing she can say to Rio to hurt her, to deny and reject her love.

Now that's the emotional side of things. On a more logical level, Agatha goes into scheming mode. This is like muscle memory for her at this point, she won't deny an opportunity to get ahead.

So she doesn't deny Rio's ask. She makes the price of her handing over Billy so awful to Rio it has maybe a chance of stopping her from her mission, or buying more time at least. For so much of her life Agatha has justified murder and lies and the worst behaviour with the need to survive and protect what's hers.

Once again: Calculated move, bad at math.

Because Rio accepts the deal. She's so wounded she doesn't even push back even a little. She reacts so badly to Agatha's rejection, to her taking advantage of this opportunity, that she gives into being the villain Agatha sees her as.

[markscherz]

Quick, while the frog purists aren't looking, what's your favorite salamander?

No question, salamanders of the genus Thorius, the smallest salamanders in the world.

[Thorius pennatulus — src]

[Thorius sp. — src]

Truly astonishing creatures.

[the-copycat-hero]

watched last week's episode again and the Monoma & Aizawa dynamic has got me in a chokehold, so have some headcanons

Eraserhead used to be one of Monoma's favorite heroes, but some of the hero worship wore off when he saw how Aizawa approached teaching for the first time. part of it was petulant dismay over Aizawa teaching Class A, but some of it was also legitimate criticism of Aizawa's methods.

regardless, a lot of that admiration comes rushing back after the war when Monoma realizes how hard Aizawa's role has been, both physically and emotionally. (watching Bakugo die haunts them both, but it was particularly humbling to realize that Aizawa had to have seen similar things happen in the past).

Aizawa's perception of Monoma underwent it's own evolution as well. at first, he saw Monoma as clever and talented, but overall aggravating and unreliable. then, when Aizawa saw Monoma interact with Eri for the first time, he moved him into the "dependable but annoying" category. it wasn't until after the war that his perception of Monoma became predominantly positive.

Aizawa was one of the first people to check on Monoma in the hospital after the war. Monoma was so out of it that he can't even remember the visit, but Vlad King made sure to let him know that Aizawa had swung by when he was finally cognizant enough to hold a coherent conversation.

both Aizawa and Monoma carry unspoken guilt. Monoma feels guilty that he got taken out of commission and potentially left millions to die, and Aizawa feels guilty that he dragged a child into the conflict to take on his role in the first place. neither of them have properly spoken about it, but it's only a matter of time.

when school starts back up, Monoma begins making a multitude of guest appearances at the Class A lecture room. he spends a lot of his time subtly checking on Bakugo and flirting chatting with Shinsou, but he usually ends up bothering Aizawa for a while as well.

Aizawa bears it with a patience that most students do not expect of him, but it really isn't all that surprising. (Aizawa realized that he had effectively fed a stray the minute that he and Monoma witnessed The Horrors together. it's only natural that Monoma would seek him out.)

even after the final battle, Aizawa occasionally enlists Monoma's help using Erasure. he's able to handle most smaller situations by himself, but there are a number of (typically PTSD-driven) moments where a student's quirk gets out of hand and he needs reinforcement.

[enden-k]

sleep schedule rumbling repost(or is it reblog?? jeez idk😭) made me think about that sketch where Kaveh squeezed between Alhaitham and wall eheh. this sketch is so funny, i think i even have it saved lol -🍉

reblog on tumblr. repost (i prefer old term retweet bc repost usually means smth else and isnt rlly cool) on twt

eughhhh im so glad twt is more organized and easier for me to find stuff on my acc bc theres no way id find that sketch again here on my blog w tumblrs broken search AHHA

"normal sleeping behavior in the kavetham househould" and then its this yes

[gayaest]

what does (msn) mean for autism?

“Level 1 - Level 2 - Level 3” in the DSM.

(LSN) Low-Support needs, (MSN) Middle-Support needs, (HSN) High-support needs.

I was in special ed my entire life, as well as discovering (others) I was autistic was very early on (Kindergarten). I’ve always needed extra support specific to my autism, more than LSN autistics need (which is not to say they do not need support — all autistics need some type of support, this is just to help others know how much).

MSN, means that I need substantial help in my day-to-day life to be able to stay alive and functioning. I need a daily caregiver, someone to help me bathe, clothe, food, clean, etc. I wasn’t able to work, go to school myself without some type of accommodations and help from an “aid” or caregiver. I would never have been able to live alone even if I wasn’t physically disabled, because I was always mentally disabled (Autistic).

I just happen to have become physically disabled as well. My old therapist said that Autistic individuals have a higher chance of developing auto-immune disorders and disabilities due to the way the brain and body are connected and work. Especially if that coincides with severe and ongoing trauma, which causes the nervous system to “break down” and immune system to become, well… less immune.

I hope this makes sense, I spent like, 45 minutes writing this to make sure it sounded right.

[trashclangen]

What do their cat sprites look like? Curious to compare them with the refs!!!

I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED!! Now I have an excuse to talk about My Design Process!! (Also take their game-given names as an added bonus bc idk when else this would come up lol)

In general, my design philosophy for Trashclan is "find the closest morph I can and then take liberty with the markings". Thankfully this is pretty easy because as long-time domestic animals... pigeons come in lots of colours!!

Orangesky:

I thought her sprite looked super striking so I tried very very hard to match it to a pigeon as close as I could!! Translating the hearts was easy (keeping them consistently shaped is another story, but I'm willing to suffer for her <3), 90% of the work was in me digging around searching for the closest brown pigeon morph I could manage... and some weird recessive dilute situation came through for me!! I'm honestly surprised I managed to find something with both the browns and the grey lmao

Her name I was also pretty attached to by the time I put the run of the game down, but orioles uh... do not exist in this country c': I briefly considered changing it to "Blackbird" or "Thrush" because those are birds in the same family, but pretty much immediately settled on "Orange" because it just kinda looked similar enough for me to be really happy with it! I always knew I was gonna ditch the whole "star" suffix thing for worldbuilding reasons, shoutout to Pav who suggested "sky" bc it 100% keeps the energy of her game-given name and is in general just a rlly good name fhbefr

Ermineleaf:

Ermineleaf was a no-brainer, I took one look at their sprite and went "oh, that's a standard blue bar pigeon" lmao I think I briefly debated changing their prefix to "stoat" because while we have those there (invasive), idk if they moult into their white winter coat and officially earn ermine status... but it was another name I was pretty attached to so I decided to let it slide lol

Bitternfleck:

Straight up, he's just based on my real life pigeon but old and droopifed lmao. My pigeon has pearl eyes, aka she looks haunted by the knowledge of the wilds at all times and I thought that was a perfect translation for the bright cyan

Buttercupfledge:

This design was also a pretty easy 1:1 translation! The majority of the decisions here were just simplifying the pied spotting, aka something I would have done even if she was a cat lol. I also made the call to give her no wing-barring even tho her sprite is striped, also for simplifying reasons.

Settling on "fledge" as the suffix for apprentices was also a no-brainer bc it's... simply the age at which they're fledging! Easy!

Bonus Fringeclaw bc yes he was a real character in the game that I real killed in the first moon:

Fringeclaw is a perfect example of a totally standard cat name that I changed to be bird-applicable! Pigeons don't have teeth but they do have claws, easy swap!

His design is the furthest I departed from the sprite, I genuinely don't think I looked at it when I coloured him in the moon he's in, I just knew he was brown and I wanted him to share colours with Orangesky lmao

[cozylittleartblog]

hi I just wanted to say thank you for your post about sheezy.art! I didn't know that existed, saw your post, checked the site out, signed up, and I am having so much fun so far! ...And being reminded how much stuff I missed from older internet days (I have started putting stamps on my profile. I forgot how much I loved stamps) - which is fun! Just... Thank you for sharing that existed! I never would have known otherwise and I'm so glad I know about this now??? :D

o7 I'M DOING MY PART TO SPREAD THE GOOD WORD OF SHEEZYART. I hope they seriously up their marketing efforts once the site comes out of beta next January, this site seriously needs more people and I am not kidding when I say I want it to become the next deviantart. It really is just Deviantart But When It Was Good, the deviantart of my late 2000s and early 2010s childhood.

I do not like modern internet design at all, but sheezyart gets it all right. Even my very few nitpicks can be excused by the fact the website is in beta, and they're still working on getting everything up to their standards. I need to get more stamps on my profile, it is The Way Of The Art Websites. and the biggest perk is again they are very anti-AI so all the artists are Real !!!!!!!!!

tired of the rapid eshittification of the internet? join sheezyart. tired of websites selling you out to train AI datasets? join sheezyart. miss Old School Deviantart? join sheezyart. need a new art website that actually respects you as an artist? join sheezyart. love super advanced profile customization? join sheezyart. even if you're not an artist, join sheezyart, cuz every art website needs a non-artist demographic to enjoy our works!!

if we want alternatives to the corrupt self-serving social media platforms, we have to support their competitors and help them get off the ground, so that one day they may have enough support to stand face-to-face with them.

everyone join sheezyart and then tell your friends to join it too

my username is Cozy if any of y'all want to follow me if you do!!!