#ppl can always just block me if it is annoying idk i like saying stuff!!!

[feline-evil]

Sometimes struck down by the concern that i am deeply annoying because i talk a lot in tags, but then soothing myself by remembering Yes I Am but I'm on The Being Annoying Website so y'know. it's probably fine and harmless

[nicely-done]

kinda thinking about stuff based on a sort of weird ask an artist I follow got

The ask was basically a “how come I can’t make a fandom around this new story you did” bc the artist is selling a sort of abstraction of their own experiences as a comic using what they enjoy

don’t think I gotta explain how rude that actually is, and I’m not writing this as a “oh I’m so much better” type thought

But having been on tumblr I had interacted within fandoms, but I don’t really recall any of them, it was mainly ask blogs, and I even created a few short lived ones bc it just wasn’t interesting for me (and one case where the only other person who knew about the obscure anime went and drew cp of one of the main characters so? I was gone. Can’t enjoy that anymore, really wish I could. But I have that image burned in my mind and when I confronted them they refused by the “technically an adult” excuse even though this was a character shown at different ages, weird how they wouldn’t use the adult version but they didn’t like me saying that.)

The only real “fandom” I’ve ever actually been concretely into is Pokémon, but after I grew up more I didn’t make original characters who were Pokémon, and while I tried to rp I didn’t understand how it worked, so I mostly made up stories for myself that were just things I wanted, where Pokémon was the vehicle and medium

I enjoy creating aus for things I like if it works? But I wouldn’t say I’m a fandom person. The way tumblr(the culture of a portion of the site) looks at fandom has always been strange to me, even as I hyperfixate. I kind of thought something was wrong with me…? Like was I consuming media wrong? I don’t ship often, or think too far into headcanons, I mainly take it apart and see what info is in the media. I may draw conclusions but often this is done by myself

Often I’ll sort of enjoy something, maybe even love it, have a phase and then move on- if I talk about it w others it’s via analyzing it or just being excited about it, seeking out fanart… (blocking ppl who are Annoying or doing a They Would Not Fucking Say That or a weird version of the character that is bastardized)

If I put it in statistical terms it’s like I interpolate data (information) instead of extrapolate… like I go between points of info instead of going too far outside of the story, maybe because I’ve only ever seen one exploration of the concept that actually worked- one random disco elysium fic that essentially made its own new case for Kim and harry. Some things were a lil clumsy, but they actually were very careful w balancing characterization, themes, and ideas to create something new that wasn’t alienating. It was nice to finally understand how people talk about good fanfics. But uh, I avoided fanfic bc they usually alienated me due to inconsistencies or focused on shipping or a specific idea that didn’t really mesh

Idk, I have stories I hold dear to me, but fandom ocs usually either sorta die off or are adapted to a regular oc. I can make the number of ships I enjoy on one hand… I just like stories

[ashtonsunshine]

I mean i liked checking it out and pretty much was into it idk jobless 💀 (but im glad im changing i literally ignore these stuff now as much as can... still nosey but its getting better lol).

Unfortunately i just like to know shit but after a while it sounds weird and almost repetition of the same things that happened long time ago.

I don't get the ones that try to do or change something about things like those are strangers to you ykwim? Just reading the gossip is a thing but trying to intervene like... what are you going to do? 😭

And it got really weird like doxxing and shit so thats not right... specially with a baby on the way its just too much (like weirdos wishing harm on a baby?!!? absolutely insane!)

Realizing to focus on what you actually like is way better and more fun.

But i always notice how ashton does the most for this fandom yet he's always the most hated in these type of blogs, it just breaks my heart he's very passionate about what he does and he gets shitted on for it, being called pretentious for showing his love... does he get a lil silly goofy? Yes but it's sweet idk what ppl see and make up something negative from it and when he uses big words? Lol i like adding new words to my vocabulary that i'll probably never use.

Sorry this is very long and honestly you dont have to answer this but i just was so much in (surprised im not blocked 💀) and then one day i was like well.. this is stupid and annoying so i kinda stopped.

Saw you went to a 5sos show days ago i hope you had a great time 🤍 and again you dont have to answer this at all but your post got me thinking a little... one of the first ppl i followed on here and i think your hello/goodmorning posts are very sweet and the way you always post them is sweeter. i hope you are having a great day/night from wherever you are 👍🏻

I understand the human need to know and be nosy, but I've learnt that sometimes it's better to be ignorant in order to be happy and enjoy things in peace.

I see this dynamic at work every day. People gossip about others because they have this need of talking shit for no reason other than being low-key jealous of their colleagues' workplace situation. It's as if people are envious of other's happiness and become petty about it.

Drama and gossip are addicting. It's like an adrenaline rush. But, ultimately, like every addiction, it starts consuming you from within and disrupting your life.

I'll never understand how some people have so much energy to run these types of accounts that harbour so much negativity, when some days I don't even have energy to exist right.

I've read so much shit about this band over the last decade on the internet, and you're right, Ashton somehow always gets it worse simply because he refuses to play the game and chooses to be himself no matter what. Him and his big words, and his sarcasm, and his snarky comments. It's one of the reasons I love him. Fuck everyone! Be yourself and the right people will come to you and stay with you.

But you know what makes my skin crawl? When the blogs are like "free speech", as if free speech means you're allowed to say whatever you want without consequences. It angers me when people use free speech as an excuse to be unpleasant and mean, because that's not what free speech is. Free speech means you can't be jailed for voicing an opinion; not that you can't be a target of criticism for it.

Only people who haven't had the right of free speech taken away from them do that. There was a heavy dictatorship in my country until 1974 where people would be grabbed on the streets by undercover state police if they gathered in groups larger than three and questioned for conspiracy against the government. Some people were tortured. Some people disappeared. Others were killed. All that for voicing an opinion. My parents lived through this shit, so I don't take my right of free speech lightly, and neither should any of you.

I'm getting political now, so I'm gonna go.

Thank you for the sweet words. 🫶🏻 I'm glad you're out of that dark place.

[dodgebolts]

I think you're taking the polls too seriously tbh? Like yeah it's a popularity contest but like... That's the point? The polls don't say "vote who you think would win mcc" or "vote who you think would win dodgebolt" or "vote who's vibes you like more" it doesn't really specify so everyone can just kinda interpret it however they want.

And knowing who'd win an event is impossible anyway since that hugely depends on game order. You get for example gridrunners and builtmart as the last two games then yeah a hermit heavy team can absolutely beat a dream team. Whereas if you get, idk, battle box last then that'd be a whole other story.

It's a popularity contest and yeah dream isn't hugely popular on tumblr these days. But I doubt most ppl are seeing those posts and going "I hate dream I hate him so much, I do not know this other team at all but I will vote for them anyway". Most are probably just like "huh I liked the vibes of this team I'll vote them"

It's silly little polls about silly little block games, it's fine. Just vibe and have fun with it

I’ll be real my mind is not on those polls anymore, I’ve blocked the account bc I saw something that annoyed me and moved on 😭 but I’ll level with you and say there were people in the tags saying that they hated Dream and were voting against him without knowing the other team ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also while you’re here I’m going to heavily disagree with you on the game order stuff—at the time of MCCAS, the game lineup was:

sky battle

battle box

parkour tag

TGTTOS

grid runners

BSABM

ace race

HITW

SOT

only two of these games are ‘weaknesses’ for red (heavily dependent on the GR rooms) and in p much every other one, it’s widely agreed dteam are dominant players—the team was touted as broken and guaranteed to win by literally everyone (to the point of discourse!) so I’m not sure why you’re arguing that, not to mention they literally went 2-7 in battle box 😭😭 both history and stats disagree with your argument there.

Regardless, they’re polls, it’s not the end of the world. I love MCC a ton but there’s always been a vibe of the community disliking dteam, and I’ll be honest, it’s very difficult to have fun when everyone’s looking to discredit them in some way. Whether through polls, stats posts, tier arguments, etc. it’s draining. Hope you have fun in the polls though ^_^

[wontbyers]

btw i would never block a mutual. idk how you follow someone who’s liable to do anything block-worthy unless you aren’t careful about who you choose to follow in the first place, but maybe ive just never followed somebody who did something really egregious out of nowhere? i can’t imagine. the only things i can think of are suddenly showing a bigoted/hateful side u didnt know they had. but i generally follow ppl who are chill and gay so

if my mutuals ever start acting up (posting content from a fanbase i didnt follow them for) i just say “good for them” and keep scrolling, or at most unfollow and hope they dont mind if/when they realize (bc it’s not personal.) but i’ve never had someone turn so annoying or evil in a flash to warrant a block lmao?? even if i thought someone was too negative and killing the mood or somehow got into 1 really big drama i would just unfollow rather than blocking.

if i followed you i’m always gonna remember the good times. all the posts i’ve liked from you, even if it’s offset by stuff i don’t like enough to lead to an unfollow. but i wouldn’t be able to block somebody who’s not a stranger. we once had a symbiotic relationship; if we were cool once, we could be cool again.

(like im just saying it would have to be a direct personal fight or like u sent me something really uncomfortable out of nowhere, in which case u would know why you’re being blocked and wouldn’t need to scramble to find out why or be left wondering in the silence.)

[ratmonky]

Out of Body Experience

Word Count: 4.9K

Warnings: semi-public

AO3 Link

[You matched with Maru!]

[Send Maru a message!]

Maru: Hey.

(username): hiii!!

Maru: You look cute in your pictures on your profile.

(username): omg you think so?? i’m really happy!! i thought you had a rlly cool bio,,, i guess i did the right choice to like your bio

Maru: Thanks. I was surprised to get a notification that we matched. You’re way out of my league.

(username): don’t say that maruuu~ i bet you look handsome irl

Maru: I don’t.

(username): hmm, wanna prove it?? >.<

Maru: I don’t know.

(username): don’t be shy!! ur bio said you lived in kyoto, wanna meet up this saturday?

Maru: You’ll be disappointed.

(username): i promise i won’t!!! i like meeting new ppl!!! besides if we didn’t click we can still be friends?? i feel like you and i will be close no matter what!!

Maru: Are you sure? We just met.

(username): yep!!! come ooooonnnnn it’ll be fun to hang out!!

Maru: Fine.

(username): yay!!! let’s meet in front of the train station!! ahh i’m so excitedddd i can’t waittt TwT

Maru: Me too.

(username): <3

[Maru: <3………….. (send)]

Kokichi paused and deleted the message.

Maru: See you.

~~~

Kokichi’s first impression of you was that you were naive and careless. You wanted to meet up with him without any hesitation, what if he was someone who could harm you?

He stared at his screen and at your pictures.

You were gorgeous, he had never seen someone as pretty as you. On top of all that you wanted to meet him.

It made him feel special, wanted even.

~~~

When a notification sound filled his ears, Kokichi immediately checked if it was from you.

(username): maruuuuu!!!! i missed u  ))):

He stared at the message and read it three times but didn’t quite understand why you would miss him.

Maru: What?

(username): i thought you’d text me but u didn’t,,, i couldn’t sleep cuz i was thinking about u

Maru: I didn’t think you wanted me to text you.

(username): )):

Maru: ?

(username): )))):

Maru: (:

(username): (((((:

Maru: You’re childish aren’t you?

(username): what about it q;

Maru: Nothing. How old are you anyway?

(username): old enough to drinkkkk!!!

Maru: Me too. Which Jujutsu college are you going to?

(username): ohh, hehe… i dropped out cuz it wasn’t my thing

Maru: That’s irresponsible. Did you drop because you couldn’t keep up with your curse classes or was it for some other reason?

(username): maruuuu stop talking about jujutsu with meee!!!

Maru: Then what should we talk about?

(username): about our date >.<

Maru: Date?

(username): did u forget already )):

Maru: Forget what?

(username): our date on saturday )):

Maru: That’s a date?

(username): TwT ur making me sad maru

Maru: I don’t understand it, we just said we’d meet up.

(username): this is a dating website for ppl like us ///:

Maru: You want to date me?

(username): idk anymore,,, seems like ur a heartbreaker and i feel like u don’t feel a connection between us as i do

Maru: Wait! Don’t jump to conclusions all by yourself! You don’t even know what I look like, how can you be so sure that you want to date me?

(username): i mean,,, we matched for a reason,,, i liked ur bio and wanted to get to know u better is that bad??

Maru: No. No, it isn’t. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I'm new to this sort of stuff.

(username): apology accepted!!!! ahhhh ur so cute,,, i can’t wait to meet u

Maru: Same here.

~~~

His classmates knew something was up. Robotic demeanor was gone and instead, it was actually a part of himself as Kokichi that was showing through.

“Mechamaru looks happy nowadays,” Kamo noted.

“It’s relieving that he shows us a softer side of himself,” Miwa added. “Makes me feel happy for him.”

“I wonder what caused him to become this way.” Kamo was talking to himself but Todo took it upon himself to answer.

“He has finally found himself a Takada-chan.” Todo grinned. “Reminds me, I never asked him what his type of woman is.”

There was a moment of silence before Todo walked out into the campus garden to make his way towards Mechamaru.

Mechamaru didn’t notice his presence as he was watering the flowers.

“Yo.”

“Todo. Did you need something?”

“What’s your type of woman?”

Caught off guard, Mechamaru dropped the watering can. “I… I think someone who’s kind and cheerful.” Someone who’s submissive.

“Like I guessed.” Todo held his chin between the knuckle of his forefinger and thumb as he hummed thoughtfully. “You’re as lifeless as your puppet.”

~~~

What did that suppose to mean?

Kokichi was just telling the truth.

Right?

~~~

Days passed until Friday came.

Kokichi talked to you almost every day and whenever he could. He seemed to enjoy your company more than he thought he would when the two of you first matched.

He woke up to your messages and went to sleep only after he texted you goodnight.

Today, he felt like his heart was going to jump out of his ribcage, he could hear his own pulse when it got too quiet and it was dead silent in his hideout… as always.

All he could think about was your date tomorrow. He had made sure to dress up Mechamaru nicely for the occasion and checked the weather report thrice so the date wouldn’t be ruined because of anything out of his control.

There was still something that made him extremely anxious. What if you didn’t like him? What if everything went terribly and you blocked his number?

He needed something to distract him from these negative thoughts.

Maru: Hey.

(username): maruuuu!!!! what r u doin??

Maru: Going to sleep soon, I think.

(username): without me (;

Maru: Never.

(username): i’m blushing

Maru: How are you?

(username): fine, i'm doing skincare tonight to get ready for our date!!

Maru: About that...

(username): ....

(username): are you going to cancel our date?

Maru: No! I’m just anxious about it.

(username): good cuz i’d block u

Maru: I don’t think you would.

(username): you don’t know me

Maru: Because you never told me about yourself.

(username): ^-^; haha yeah,,, so,,, what would you like to know?

Maru: Everything.

Without even noticing the passing time, Kokichi chatted with you until he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore.

He learned everything about you. From the earliest memory, you could recall about your first interaction with a cursed spirit to your latest obsession with an online game about cute animals.

His eyelids were getting heavier, he texted you goodnight and how he was excited to meet you tomorrow.

When he closed his eyes, this time he managed to fall asleep.

~~~

You pressed your phone to your chest and kicked at your sheets. The excitement was eating you up, the butterflies in your stomach wouldn’t calm down either. All because of someone you met online a couple of days ago.

It wasn’t something new to you to meet up with people you met online but this felt a lot different.

Previous times, you had used different dating apps or social media websites to make friends but this was the first time you had used a dating website specifically for people who knew the existence of curses.

Jujutsu sorcerers often found it hard to find someone they could click with because of their field of work but this website had risen up to popularity from day one. Your old classmates from your jujutsu college wouldn’t shut up about it so you gave it a go after their insisting.

Maru was one of the first people you matched with on the website. In his profile, he had written about how he wanted to find someone he could be himself with and date them.

That’s why tomorrow, you had to be on your best behavior so he could be himself around you.

~~~

You were twenty minutes early.

It wasn’t your intention to arrive this early but whether it be the excitement to meet up with Maru or not wanting to make him wait if your train was late-

Wait, those were all connected.

Letting out a sigh, you checked your phone. Yep, still twenty minutes. Once you put it back in your purse, your eyes scouted around the station. There weren’t any empty spaces for you to sit so you were standing by a meeting point next to the maps, hoping Maru would see you.

Although you didn’t know what he looked like, you had put effort into how you looked today so you could impress him. Deep inside, you hoped he would take notice of your appearance and compliment you but some men were just too dense.

From the way he had started texting you, he gave you the impression that he was one of those stoic and dense men but as you started to get to know him better, he turned out to be quite a friendly person. Very talkative and caring.

You pressed a hand on your cheek, you were burning up. Geez, were you really blushing this much because of him?

When you told your friends about this date, they had told you not to have too many expectations about Maru. They believed you were being catfished but it wasn’t possible, you didn’t want to meet him because of his appearance after all.

“Um, excuse me-”

Startled, you lifted your head to stare at a… robot?

You stepped away from its way, thinking that you were standing in front of its charging station or something. How long had it been since you had gone out? Had robots already taken over? Or was this one of those public pranks?

The robot was staring at you even after you moved away.

“(username)?”

You lifted your gaze and looked at the robot with wide eyes. “M-M-Maru?”

It nodded, “Mechamaru.”

No, it wasn’t a robot. You could sense cursed energy oozing from it. More like a cursed doll. Nevertheless, you were speechless.

There was a long pause before you spoke. “Ah, I...” You looked around as if you were searching for an exit and anxiously clutching on your purse.

Great, you were going to make up an excuse and go away. Just like he thought you would.

“I thought I was going to meet you, not a puppet.”

“I’m here,” he said, static sizzling noise coming from him was like nails on a chalkboard. “I just can’t be physically here because of my condition.”

“You could’ve told me about it first… ahh, sorry.” You sounded more annoyed than you would have liked but quickly covered it up by bowing your head to greet him. “Nevermind, I’m (name).”

“Are we going to use real names?”

“Well, I’m not gonna call you Megaman.” There was a smile.

“Mechamaru,” he corrected. After a short silence, he added, “Kokichi.”

“Nice to meet you Kokichi, I hope we can get along well.” You bowed yet again.

“Why are you being so formal?”

“It’s cuz…” You pointed at him.

“What?”

“Well…” You used both hands to gesture his whole body.

“If you say it’s because I’m a robot or anything similar to that, I’ll go home.” He sounded serious, or maybe it was because of the static.

You pouted and leaned forward on your tiptoes, “If I can’t even joke around then I’ll go home.”

“I thought you were looking forward to our date.” When you blushed at his words he spoke again. “You look cuter than your pictures.”

“Ahh, you really think so?” You started walking and he followed after you.

“I do.” He was keeping a large space between the two of you, whenever you tried to walk closer to him, he would move away but now when you were caught in the station with the crowd who were going home after work hours, you had to stay close to him.

You were being pushed against Kokichi thanks to the crowd trying to walk out of the station and he didn’t complain about it. Kokichi didn’t look at you, he thought about the things he read on the internet instead.

‘If you want your date to consider you as manly, you have to invest yourself to talk to her.’

“Your dress looks cute.” Kokichi came up with ‘the compliment her outfit’ route, he had seen men flirt before, he could do it too.

He stared down for a moment to see your reaction.

Bingo!

You smiled brighter than the sun, you played with your hair to give him a playful answer. “Thank you, I wore this just for our date.” Your eyes shined with small sparkles in them. “I really like your collar.” You pointed at his face, not too close, hesitant to invade his personal space. I’m here with his puppet not him, you reminded yourself.

“Thanks.”

When the two of you finally exited the station, you walked alongside him.

“Where to?” He nonchalantly asked while you were looking around the streets.

“What about karaoke?” You gave him an inviting smile, “It’d be fun.”

“Whatever you say.” He wasn’t sure which way you were taking. There was the main street and Kyoto's red-light district, of course, he knew you wouldn’t be going there. “Which street are we going for?”

You pointed to your right, “The main street, there is a karaoke place I know.” Your smile altered when you noticed how this time when you walked together to cross the street, it was close, your shoulder touched his fake biceps.

“I’m not good at singing for obvious reasons.” Back in his bathtub, Kokichi said it in a joking manner but thanks to the cursed puppet, it sounded a lot as if he was annoyed about the idea of going into karaoke. He bit his tongue and cringed, waiting for your reaction.

“You can still try, can’t you?” You gave him the best puppy eyes you could. “For me?”

Kokichi blushed but you weren’t able to see it through Mechamaru. “Y-yeah.”

“Oh, I didn’t know robots could stutter.”

“I didn’t stutter and I’m not a robot. This is a cursed puppet and sometimes the commands I give are interrupted, that’s why I-”

“You’re so easy to tease just as I guessed!”

Kokichi covered his mouth with his hand, watching you giggle at him through his screen.

“Here it is.” Pointing at a sign, you grabbed his arm and dragged him with you.

While you were showing him the prices, he was busy staring down at your shirt. He could… he could see your cleavage.

“The menu says they serve alcohol at this hour! Ahh, the prices are cheaper than the last time too! We can share the tab-” You stopped yourself from talking. Silence brought him out of his trance. “Oops, sorry. You can’t eat or drink through Megaman, right?”

“Mechamaru,” he corrected. “No, I can’t… But it’s on me anyway.”

“You’ll pay?” Your eyes sparkled brighter than the stars. Your pouting lips and hand on his chest didn’t help.

Kokichi looked away, blushing. “Y-yeah.”

“Y-you’re the best!” Mocking his stuttering, you offered him a cute smile. Then you went on to drag him inside while telling him about how this place was the best karaoke place in Kyoto because they served desserts and your favorite cocktail. All the while renting a room for the two of you.

“Would you like to share with others?” The employee asked.

“No.” Your answer was instantaneous.

Behind the register, the employee stared at Kokichi and down at you. It was easy to tell he thought the two of you were a mismatch. “Your room is to the left, you can order through the smart tablet. Have fun.”

“Thanks,” you said before walking past the register. When Kokichi caught up with you, you turned around. “Did you see the way he stared? So lame!”

“Well, anyone would have stared if they saw a pretty girl next to a robot.”

“So, you’re accepting you’re a robot?” You grinned, opening the door to the private room.

“That’s not what I meant!” He didn’t know what he was expecting. From the way you texted, he should have known you were this childish and unable to have a serious conversation.

“Hmm?”

“Nothing.” He closed the door behind him as you were ordering as many drinks as you could. Once he noticed you were about to order the entire menu, he barely managed to stop you by taking the smart tablet away from your hands. “Hey, I’m not rich!”

“It’s cheap, trust me!” You pouted your lips again, reaching for the smart tablet he was holding above your head.

His stare found the menu and froze. It was cheaper than he had thought like you said. He had never been somewhere like this, nobody could blame him for it.

“Sorry, I didn’t notice,” he said as he handed the device back to you.

“I was showing you the menu earlier, you weren’t listening, were you?” Your smile widened, eyes squinting knowingly.

“I was listening! You’re talking way too much, I can’t keep up!”

You crossed your legs, continuing to add stuff to your order.

It got quiet.

Realizing what he had said was rude, he apologized.

“It doesn’t sound genuine.”

“It’s because I’m talking through a puppet.”

“Exactly.”

You weren’t looking at him. Putting the tablet aside, you leaned back on the soft cushions. The mood had changed. When you weren’t talking, it was too quiet.

Decidedly, he walked over to the karaoke machine and grabbed two microphones. He sat next to you, placing one of the microphones next to you as he reached for the tablet.

There were way too many songs in the system and he knew none of them.

Scrolling further, he found Takada-chan’s songs.

“You like Takada-chan?” you asked, noticing how he had stopped scrolling.

“No,” he replied. “My friend-” Was he really his friend? “My friend likes her, he won’t stop talking about her and all.”

“I like her,” you said. “I’ve been to her meet and greets many times but they’re always ruined by some buff dude who has the most tickets. He’s always at the events, kinda creepy but seems like he supports her. He once beat up some guy who insulted her.”

Kokichi didn’t say anything. He didn’t want that guy to be the icebreaker on his date.

“Creepy,” he uttered before putting the tablet on your lap. “You should sing, I don’t know any of these songs.”

“None of them?” You raised a brow.

“None.”

“You’re so boring,” you murmured, clicking on the first song you saw.

The loud music filled the room and his hideout. You tapped on the microphone, “Check, one, two. Kokichi is sooooo boring!”

Your laughter was the next thing that filled his hideout. He chuckled but it came out as a static noise through Mechamaru.

While you were singing, the same employee came with two trays full of drinks and snacks, he left them on the table before leaving immediately. None of you paid any mind as you were changing the lyrics to tease Kokichi.

“Are those really the lyrics?” he asked.

“Yep!”

Another giggle.

Too cute.

Very cute.

He watched you stop singing for a brief moment to chug down your third drink. Your cheeks were flushed red from the booze and your neck was sweaty, you kept fanning your hand towards your face.

His gaze focused on a particular sweat droplet on your neck and idly watched as it drizzled down to your cleavage before disappearing under the fabric of your dress.

Kokichi tried focusing on something else but he found himself unable to tear his eyes away from you. Every single thing you did was seductive. When you bit onto a small rice cake or the way your lips closed around the straw of your drink and how your cheeks hollowed when you tried sucking the last bits of your cocktail in your mouth.

The last drop had to be when you grabbed an ice cube from your drink and held it over the skin of your chest.

His hand pressed on his lower half. He was thankful he wasn’t physically there or he would have been labeled as a pervert. Under the soothing medical liquid, he had a problem you didn’t need to see.

You weren’t singing anymore but the music was playing nonetheless to suppress the silence as Kokichi was practically undressing you with his eyes.

“Heyyy, Kokichi~” you slurred, sitting closer to him. “You’re being too quiet!”

Taken aback, he spoke. “I’m not sure what to say?”

“Just talk…” you whined, putting a hand on his knee.

Oh, how he wished he could feel the warmth of your hand.

“Or better… Sing!” You held a microphone up to his face.

“I can’t sing,” he reminded.

“You said, you’d sing for meee~”

He blushed, taking the microphone from your hand. “I don’t know the lyrics.”

“It’s on the screen.”

Yes, the lyrics were on the screen.

He felt embarrassed, this was stupid. He wasn’t even actually in the room with you but he felt so nervous. His actual hands were shaking as he gulped.

When he started singing, you started laughing.

The static made it sound like he was an actual robot. Yet, Kokichi didn’t stop despite how tone-deaf his voice was coming through Mechamaru. He wanted to make sure you were having fun but the music stopped.

Both of you stared at the notification on the tablet, asking if you wanted to add another hour to your stay.

Had it already been an hour? Time was going fast when you two were having fun.

You looked at Kokichi.

He pressed to accept.

The music continued playing.

This time, Kokichi didn’t sing. The two of you started chatting about everything and anything until there was a lull in the conversation.

“Lemme see your hand,” you said, reaching your own towards him. He slowly placed his hand on your open one and you compared the size. “Wow, your hand is hugee, is your real hand this big?”

Funny, if not absurd. You were on a date with a puppet but you were getting turned on.

“It's the same size as my own hand.” His gaze dropped to his actual body. “At least one of them.”

“Can you feel that?” You intertwined your fingers with his.

“No.” He wasn’t looking and he didn’t need to look. The depressing realization that he was always going to watch people behind a screen and in this damn bathtub was starting to sink in once again.

“Can you feel this?” You were giggling.

“I told you, I can’t feel-” His breathing stopped at the sight of you pressing his hand on your breast.

“I wanna meet you, Kokichi~” Smiling enticingly, you sat closer to him. “It’s no fun when I can’t see if you’re blushing right now.” Your hand over his hand moved on your breast, the supple flesh jiggled under the front of your dress. “Are you blushing right now?”

“I am.” His answer was instant.

“You know,” you started, putting your free hand on his thigh and lifting your leg up on the cushion to face him. “I got all dressed up ‘cause I wanted you to lose your composure. You sounded so uptight and stoic. I wanted to see you lose it.” Tilting your head, you puckered your lips. “But you didn’t even come to our date.”

“I did.”

“Megaman did.”

“Mechamaru.”

“I wanted Kokichi to come.” You pulled his hand away from your breast and led it down to your stomach and even lower. “I wish you were here so you could feel how wet I am.”

“(name),” he said. “I can’t feel my fingers through Mechamaru.”

“Mm?” You placed his hand under the skirt of your dress. “But I can feel them.”

Kokichi’s actual hand started shaking in excitement as Mechamaru’s fingers brushed against your panties.

“Can’t I meet you?” Your voice was faint compared to the music but he heard it. “I wanna meet you.”

“You’ll be disappointed, I don’t look… normal.”

“You don’t look normal right now either.” Biting your lip, you moved against his hand. A soft gasp left your lips. “Yet, I’m so turned on right now.”

There were a thousand different thoughts invading his mind but Kokichi felt like he was hypnotized by your hips.

“Kokichiii, move your fingers,” you whined softly, your eyes hazy with lust.

“I need to see them,” he said. Back in his room, his own hand was pressing down on his growing erection. “Or I may move them wrong.”

“Pervert~” you teased, lifting the skirt of your dress up.

He didn’t say anything, instead focused his attention on your soaked panties. How long had you been this wet? From the moment you two rented the room or-

“Kokichi.” Your needy voice brought him out of his dirty thoughts. “You don’t have a cock under your pants, do you?” Your hand pressed against Mechamaru’s groin.

For the first time in his life, Kokichi felt his entire body jolt. Your vulgar way of asking was enough to get him rock hard. “No-”

“What a waste.” Sulking, you retrieved your hand. “But are you hard right now?”

“I… I am.”

A dangerous glint sparkled through your eyes. “If only you were here… I’d make you feel sooo good.”

Mechamaru’s fingers pressed against your clothed folds before moving along them. A soft moan left your lips and you balanced yourself on your hands.

“I look like a freak-”

“You keep saying that.” Your hips moved against his hand. “As if that matters to me.”

Mechamaru slid your panties to the side and spread your folds with two of his fingers, he carefully watched as wet strands connecting them together broke apart. Kokichi’s own hand was pumping his cock.

“What are you doing right now, Kokichi?”

“I’m putting a finger inside.” He inserted one of his fingers inside you.

“No, what are you really doing?” You bit your lip.

“I’m… I’m jerking off.”

Satisfied with his answer, you crossed a leg over his to settle on his lap with your back against his chest. Spreading your legs wider, you allowed him a better view of your wet pussy. Mechamaru’s digits slid inside as Kokichi moved his hand along the length of his cock.

Mechamaru’s other hand went to cup your breast over your shirt, making a moan escape your lips.

His fingers were reaching deeper than your own fingers ever could. The digits moved in a scissoring motion and curled against your gummy walls, pressing against the spot that made your vision blurry.

“Kokichi,” gasping, you squirmed on his lap, your back arched when his thumb grazed over your clit. “I wanna kiss you so bad.”

Kokichi’s hand tightened around the tip of his cock, he pulled the sensitive skin down to expose the pink tip and massaged it using his thumb. When his hand started moving along his cock again, the device helping him talk through Mechamaru picked up the clicking sound rather than the medical fluid splashing.

You moaned at the realization of what you were hearing.

The feeling of the metallic firm fingers stroking your clit made your hips buck against his hand. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, panting, you pressed your thighs together.

Mechamaru’s hand on your chest moved down on your thigh to hold you in place as his fingers inside your pussy started to vibrate. The sudden pleasure made you scream but the loud music concealed it.

Kokichi couldn’t breathe normally, his pulse had gone haywire as his hand was moving hastily around his cock while Mechamaru’s digits were messing you up.

“S-s-s-stop!” Your voice broke into a moan.

“Do you really want me to stop?” He barely managed to ask, his hand wouldn’t stop.

You shook your head rapidly, biting your lip.

Your walls clenched around the digits, sucking them in deeper. Kokichi’s own hand was moving faster than his heartbeat. His tongue lolled out of his mouth and his shoulders tensed.

He was close.

From the way you were shaking, he could say the same thing for you.

So, when Mechamaru pushed his digits further inside, the vibration got stronger and stronger until your legs shook. The pleasure that was building in your gut suddenly got released, shaking you to your core.

Kokichi followed suit, his cock spurted thick clumps of cum and they landed on his stomach, his bandages absorbed his seed.

By the time he caught his breath, he realized you were still on his lap.

Mechamaru had gone limp as he had gotten distracted because of his orgasm. He revived the cursed doll while you were trying to fix your dress.

You wanted to say something but you couldn’t find something to say.

To your rescue, the music stopped.

The tablet had the same notification from before. Informing you that the second hour had ended and if you wanted to rent the room for one more hour.

Kokichi leaned forward and pressed on the tablet to end the session.

“We’re leaving already?” you pouted your lips.

“You said you wanted to meet me.”

Kokichi watched as the brightest smile he had ever seen formed on your face.

After he paid the tab the two of you exited the building as he held you up with one hand because your legs weren’t functioning properly.

“The employee behind the register noticed your wobbly legs,” Kokichi said.

“You think so?” you whispered, cheeks and ears colored in bright red.

“He was looking, so, yes.”

“You kinda went overboard by using Megaman’s vibrator hands.” Your giggle filled his ears and he smiled to himself.

“It’s Mechamaru.”

[saetoru]

hey tee, can i ask something? so ik how frustrating it can be when anons send hate, but what’s it like when other blogs do it?? how do you handle it?? & i dont mean when they’re like directly talking to you, but subtweeting in a way…am i explaining this well????? idk but something that i hate is when people will just ask & ask & ask you to write as if you’re a machine & not a human being.

there’s a particular account that never writes (which is completely fine), and they always ask everyone to be patient & etc. but they constantly talk abt how “no one writes like they used to” or just complain abt other people’s writing in general & it’s just so sad to see bc as a creator on this app, they should immediately understand tht people are not fucking machines & struggle with writer’s block & stuff like that. she just gives off big hypocritical vibes. idk if you’re mutuals w/ them or not (hopefully not).

her writing is fine, but as a person… idk. im not gonna say who it is, but they’re pretty known on tumblr. it really bugs me when she says stuff like that and then her followers just back her up like nothing’s wrong. generally speaking, i believe u can say whatever tf u want on your own blog, but some of the stuff she says just really upsets me, especially since im starting to write on tumblr. i have blocked her, but after seeing some the things she’s said, plus the amount of people that agree with her is making me real self conscious abt my work.

so yea, how do u feel when stuff like that happens to you?? im so sry for the long ask, but hopefully you can take the time to respond. it would mean a lot! ❤️

hi bestie !! i will answer under the cut:

i just block lmao. like deadass half of a lot writers on here ??? chances are i’ve blocked them and tbh that might sound bad but if i see a discourse or a “hot take” that i fully disagree with, or rubs me wrong, i block. and that’s bc i think all of us as writers, even if it’s the smallest part of our brains, compare ourselves to other writers. so i block writers that give me bad vibes bc i don’t wanna subconsciously start comparing myself to them in a manner that makes me question myself like you said. if a writer thinks majority of fanfic mostly sucks now, well i guess they’re not reading my sucky content bc they are b l o c k e d !!!

i actually have like two or three very strongly voiced ppl blocked that always say “fanfic isn’t what it used to be” or “all fanfic is the same now” and i think personally it’s a really entitled and annoying thing to say. if someone came into a writer’s inbox and said those exact things on anon, everyone would jump to attack that anon and say “it’s free content be grateful.” i don’t think someone being a writer gives them the right to dictate such strong opinions openly about other peoples fanfic writing styles/methods/choices. even if you provide content, you’re still consuming free content just as everyone else. it’s one thing to politely offer advice as one writer to another with good intentions, but that’s very clearly seen in your tone and how you word the message. if you think fanfic isnt what it used to be, then write what you want to see ??? it’s simple.

so yeah either way i would block that individual—maybe i already have them blocked too who knows LMAO i hope i do. but i wouldn’t let it get to you because tbh in my experience ppl who have the most to say about other writers have the emptiest masterlists 💀 the rest of us are too busy focusing on our writing to care about what other people are posting and whatnot. block them, block their friends that agree, block anyone else that agrees with them. LMAO i’m not saying this to act like “ur always right and everyone else is always wrong” but tbh if u just block all the ppl ur disagree with, then at one point ur dash will just be peaceful

take it from me !! the girlie that is blocked by like 75% of this app !! just remove people you don’t wanna see. filter their urls, unfollow ppl they heavily interact with, curate ur own experience without being a bitch. rant to ur friends, get it off ur chest privately but like don’t subpost them in a rly obvious manner and start more drama bc it’s just always gonna be a mess that way.

and tbh there’s a lot of things that ppl in a fandom community can and should come and discuss in a civil manner without peoples feelings getting hurt like meta and popularly flawed characterization patterns, but i think bitching about the “quality” of fanfic is a rly nasty thing to openly complain about bc it’s just unwarranted and discouraging. a lot of people are on here for fun, not to write new york times best selling novels, so just let them have their fun :/

[scaryorganmusic]

sorry this is really petty but like. this drama is so funny bc ultimately ppl are being accused of liking w*ncest just for like. being mildly dean critical. babes you know you can just block people for disagreeing with you. it doesn’t have to be that deep. in fact it’s literally the only way to survive fandom with more than a quarter of your brain cells left. anyway I’m a dean stan bc I imprinted on him as a child but when I see posts about how he sucks I either agree, disagree and ignore it (and sometimes just unfollow bc I’m curating the most fun online experience for myself as I should), or just say “that makes a lot of sense but it makes me sad so I’m just writing it out of my personal secret good spn”. It’s not that hard.

also like. fellas is not wanting to talk about incest on the blog you run for fun the same as supporting incest /s

also also. the cycle of destiel shippers being annoying and condescending to non destiel shippers -> non destiel shippers understandably deciding they dislike destiel shippers -> destiel shippers being offended for being called annoying is SO funny. tony you CHOSE to do that- like I ship destiel and even I think you’re annoying lmao

Okay I don't plan on talking about this too much anymore but I'll take this as an opportunity to address some things

It is wild how lightly people are treating very awful accusations here. I understand being suspiscious before following someone, because I have accidentally followed people who put that content on my dash (untagged too! because i do have it blacklisted) and it felt so gross. But people are just taking anything they don't like as "sus behavior"

Here are things I've seen people honestly mention that makes you suspicious: obviously being mainly a Sam blog, being "dean critical", being too intense about liking seasons 1-3, shipping sastiel (????), posting mainly about the brothers and not about Cas, criticizing an actor, being reblogged by one of them (even though we also hate when that happens! but it's not something we can control because i don't know every single one of them in order to block) and of course being associated with someone else that's sus.

And here's where I completely agree with what you said: people could just block others for all those things without throwing accusations around! You can just say "most of Sam blogs, or all Sam blogs who don't post destiel, are annoying as hell and i'll block them all" and that's fine! Or, better yet, don't say anything, you don't need to publically announce when you block someone.

Also yeah, a lot of people don't add banners on every post or post nonstop about how gross the wincest shit is because we prefer to avoid it and not be constantly thinking about it. I have the tag blacklisted but I don't do a deep investigation of OP of every post that makes into my dash, and that's kind of a wild expectation.

Quick note on the "dean critical" thing, I've never seen a fandom so weird about people critizing a character. The whole reason people started using the tag was exactly so we could still hang out with people like you, who love him and maybe don't wish to see negative analysis on him, so you could have a tag to blacklist instead of unfollowing! And although it's the bare minimum, I respect the honest attitude of "I know this happened in the show, but personally it's not an aspect I want to read/write meta about" instead of straight up denying stuff.

It is a wild cycle, with so many people (including myself) rejoining the fandom recently it's like you could see us going from "this is fun! i'm gonna follow a bunch of spn blogs" to "this is mildly annoying" to "i hate all of you, blocking spree". Not to be a hypocrite, I was onboard with destiel for most of my time in the fandom, I think I fell out of love with the ship partially because of my rewatch (and it shouldn't be that weird that rewatching something as an adult your perception on it changes!) and partially because of the fandom being so very Like That about it. And the whole fandom experience once you leave that ship is just very different. The bitterfication of the sam girl or whatever.

I do still have destiel mutuals who I appreciate very much, I don't even blacklist the tag because y'all have some amazing artists and I'm always up for fanart, even of things I don't ship (of course with the exception of gross ships).

Anyways yeah it is so infortunate that all of this happened but we move on, idk if anyone took the time to read all of this because it turned more into me venting than anything else but I also appreciate the support i’ve been getting from some of y’all

[sunshine304]

On to eps 25 + 26, my friends! It’s heating up!

Yang Jin was concerned because he saw Yu Wenzhi’s troups – but he definitely, absolutely was NOT concerned for Li Yan, no no! XD They keep on going together, but only... for 5 min or so? Until Li Yan tells him to go help A-Fei in town, since she can make the rest of the way herself (that worked so well before...). It’s cute how Yang Jin doesn’t want to go, but she makes puppy eyes at him and so he leaves.

I guess in the long run that isn’t such a bad decision to send him to A-Fei’s aid. 

Poor Li Yan of course meets an outpost that’s already infiltrated by Disha. At least the man helps her instead of selling her out. And then it turns out that Li Sheng didn’t even include a message, just sending her away from where the attack will happen. Oh Li Sheng... He could have thought about how the outpost might be in Disha’s pockets, though, since it wouldn’t be the first time. Anyway, Li Yan steals a horse and goes to find help.

So much stuff is happening at the same time! Yang Jin asks after the Intinerary Gang who surely will help him (good idea), while Chuchu listens in on the Elders talking about how Li Sheng is very likely dead. She is devastated. T_T

Yu Wenzhi starts distrusting Kou Dan, because she now mentions a rumoured hidden path to the 48 Strongholds. She’s all like, “What, it’s just a rumour.“ and even I side-eye her for that. He wants to set a trap for A-Fei and leaves.

Meanwhile, Xie Yun has already strongly hinted to A-Fei that it would be an advantage if they could get YWZ to distrust at least Kou Dan. A-Fei uses YWZ’s ruse for just that, basically telling Gu Tianxian that this was an assassination attempt lead by Mingfeng Sect. 

OMG the kiss by proxy!! I flailed!! Give me moooore! ♥

XY is off to distract GTX while A-Fei looks for YWZ's new hiding spot. But before that she stares into space, thrown by XY's proxy kiss. I swoon along with her. XD

Li Yan meets Li Jinrong, who was on her way back anyway since she missed her husband yet again. The army seems to have some problems, though General Wen is… perhaps downplaying? Anyway, LJR now knows that 48 Strongholds is under attack and hurries home.

Shen Tianshu has waited out the fire, it seems, and is now in front of the main gate to the 48 Strongholds. Also, YWZ’s private army has arrived. All in all, this huge combined army consists of about 30 people; 6 of them leave to find the secret path. I can’t get over the fact that the mean villains only have so few people! You really didn’t have a budget, huh? XD I mean srsly, there are definitely more people hiding at the 48 SH! XD

Look at his smug face! He always squints smugly at everyone, he’s so weird! XD

Love how XY is leading Disha around. Also happy that Wang Yibo could do lots of wirework in that scene, since he likes to do that stuff. XD Meanwhile, YWZ feels super threatened. Rightly so, asshole.

Aww the Elders Zhao and Zhang at the 48 SH want to go fighting! I actually enjoy that this show has many older characters as well.

Aaaand A-Fei has found YWZ! And she fights! And then there’s Yang Jin and the IG to the rescue! I love how they’re all fighting, while YWZ just stands there and watches with Kou Dan protecting him. Kinda. I cheered for the IG just fighting with big sticks and whatever else was at hand against that trained (? I assume) private army with swords – and they win by brute force. XD

A-Fei is all confused and Yang Jin explains, “I met Li Yan on the road and she started crying. She’s so annoying, I can’t say no to her!” He is so whipped. XD

YWZ really is a totally useless fighter. A-Fei reaches him and overpowers him easily. What kind of position does that guy have in the government? Doesn’t seem to be an army position… Since they won they want to get Disha to stop the attack on the 48 SH.

Meanwhile I fucking knew it that Ma Jili would betray them! Did he actually kill that one Elder? Or did they really encounter Disha and the Elder got killed there? Hm.

Anyway, look at Chuchu grabbing a sword! That was cool, you go queen! Though she didn’t get to use it, I’m sure there will be another chance for her to fuck some shit up!

A-Fei is so devastated that Uncle Ma betrayed her. I feel you, A-Fei. And then Uncle Ma feels guilty (or… was also misled by Kou Dan?) and fights KD, which doesn’t end good for him. 

That fight between A-Fei and KD was really cool. Loved how they used the end credits song! I’m a sucker for that song! A-Fei gets her revenge and doesn’t even watch KD die.

Seriously, those poor kids will all be so traumatised. Yeah in CQL they all went to war at 19 or so, but they at least all had fighting experience in a real life situation against monsters, fierce corpses and whatnot. The kids from 48 SH grew up sheltered with this kind of fighting just a theoretical exercise. 

OH nooo Xie Yun uses the super power needle! O_O He sees that 48 SH will likely lose (how, against only 20 Disha ppl, IDK…) and decides on that, because he can’t lose A-Fei.

Look at his conflicted face!!!

He also throws some exposition in there, that Chuchu’s necklace is the main key for the HTYS which he is looking for. Okay. Whatever, now pls fuck Shen Tianshu up, my man.

He does. He also tells A-Fei that he wants to enjoy himself here. (Meaning he doesn’t have long afterwards anyway and wants to go out with a bang I guess. T_T) STS is shocked because it seems that Xie Yun has some SERIOUS FIGHTING SKILLZ.

This is getting really long... XD

Xie Yun fights and it's pretty cool! A-Fei also keeps fighting, but she gets weaker, and also seems overwhlemed by the situation. I can’t blame her.

And then Li Jinrong signals her arrival and Shen Tianshu kinda panics while A-Fei decides that this is a good moment to faint. She does a lot of fainting in this show.

Have this gif for the drama of it all. XD

Yay, Chuchu has found Li Sheng! She had to wade through some corpses for that at the river bank, but she is a badass and doesn’t care. MVP Chuchu! ♥

Excuuuse me!? STS punches (!!) Li Jinrong's horse. Seriously, asshole?! WTF?! LJR fucks him up anyway, destroys his metal hand (he later has a new one so I guess he just... has a lot of these things lying around?). Disha + YWZ’s troups finally retreat, and Chuchu immediately tells them where Li Sheng is. He is now safe, yay!

Okay this shot of LJR is really cool.

There LJR goes again with her tough mother routine. XD A-Fei is awake and happy to see her; she also aks after Xie Yun, and her mother is like, “Do you know who he is?” and A-Fei conveniently does not mention that she knows he's royalty and just tells her the important stuff like, “He does poetry and songs to make a living.” LJR just dismisses her with, “We'll talk about him later.” Oh oh.

Cute scene with A-Fei and Li Sheng, who tease each other good-naturedly. Li Sheng now can admit that A-Fei is better than him at martial arts, but he doesn't want to give up – perhaps he'll manage to be better than her one day anyway? ;D I like his growth so far.

Xie Yun comes over to flirt and invite himself into A-Fei's bedroom. XD But this time A-Fei flirts back! It's the, “I know I'm good looking, but you have to pay money to stare at me,” and A-Fei answers, “You can stare at me too and we'll call it even,” scene. XY is surprised and delighted. XD

That whole conversation between these two. ♥ T_T A-Fei knows XY so well by know that she sees through his act of putting on a happy face whenever he's worried. She wants to ask so many questions but doesn't because she thinks he won't answer them honestly anyway. T_T And she sincerely asks him if he's alright. T_T He's obviously thrown by all of this, and he talks around some things and yep, he isn't really honest. And then she asks too many questions anyway and he uses her accupoints to knock her out. My God, just talk to her!!

And there's the other ship that's shyly circling each other! Chuchu and Li Sheng have an awkward conversation, because now that it's not live or death they don't know how to act. XD He wants to look for Chuchu's brother and they perhaps could live at the 48 SH? *puppyeyes* I mean seriously, where is that kid?!

Shen Tianshu is pissed, Yu Wenzhi is too. He's going on about how Xie Yun (=Xiao Chuan) should be dead, damnit, since he was poisoned 10 years ago with that super rare and deadly Bone Piercing Blue poison (we remember, the one that 9th Madam Duan also suffered from until Li Zheng helped her). We get STS exposition that a master must've helped XY so that he survived (and the master should've died of it), but now that XY used the power needle his meridians are no longer blocked and the poison is free to circulate again = He only has a few months to live. OH NO! T_T They don't know if he's also looking for the HYTS but want to keep looking anyway; Disha masters are sent out after the two men yet again bitch at each other. XD

Sometimes it's nice to actually get some exposition here...

There's a funeral scene at 48 SH with cool music and all of them swearing their oath again to do their best with a clear conscience before Heaven, Earth, and themselves. That “clear conscience” idiom is really popular I think?

A talk between Xie Yun and Li Jinrong. She thanks him and seems sincere enough, but she also seems wary/distrustful of him (well, he fetched her ill husband to go to war again, sooo...). He yet again circumvents actually answering her questions about his former master (although I assume she at least has a hunch who he is), and he tells her she should perhaps be nicer to her daughter and compliment her from time to time. Well, I guess he's dying anyway and hasn't anything to lose. XD

She comments on his pale complexion, is he perhaps ill? Wow the passive-aggressiveness in this scene from LJR. XD Then she hands him a sigil to pass the guards and basically throws him out. Charming. Good start into that in-laws situation. XD

OMG Li Sheng sends pastries to Chuchu! ♥ And Li Yan is all excited, like, “Yes please fetch your little brother, I always wanted a little brother, that would be awesome!” XD

Xie Yun and A-Fei have a romantic stroll under the not-moonlight. ♥ They are holding hands, be still my heart! ♥  While they are hand holding we also get a MV of their best moments so far.

She tells him she's working on a gift for him, and she wants to help him look for the HYTS since it seems to be a shitty thing and she doesn't want it to fall into Disha's hands. Xie Yun would like to stay at 48 SH and of course doesn't tell A-Fei about his talk wit LRJ nor that he's, you know, dying. It's obvious that he will leave without her because he doesn't want to drag her into this (the trope of “I know what's best for you without giving you a real chance to make a decision yourself” ugh) and also because he's fucking dying. OMG. T_T

We end with A-Fei knocking on his door the next morning (where he very obviously isn't anymore) to give him her gift. Before she can actually see that he isn't there Chuchu intercepts her, so A-Fei tries to give her back the necklace. Chuchu is all like, “Nooo you keep it, it's far saver with you!” so there's that. This will surely be important later. The two girls leave for town to fetch medicine, while Xie Yun sits near the river and sadly plays his flute. T_T

[unproduciblesmackdown]

A Prompt

April 14th: What do you like about being autistic?

can be Hard To Say only because it's like, literally everything about me being an autistic person's Characteristics lol, and that like, that initial sense of Difference between myself and other people was like, noticing some sort of mismatch / misalignment, but also that i was the one feeling shut out / out of place about it, so it's defined in that negative way like, well i guess i'm doing things wrong somehow, and it all keeps being framed like, whenever it seems to stand out that there's something Different about myself, it's about trying to figure out what's wrong here, why some interaction isn't working or whatever, and when actually getting positive responses or whatever, it's doesn't quite feel so individual, like, oh i guess i'm just seeming normal to people here, right lol. but that, also, of course, things you Could consider positive / like about yourself sure might not be received / responded to in that way by other people, can't always even just feel neutral about anything / not notice it, even if it can't possibly actually Matter / isn't causing any kind of problem for anyone else it's like well why are you doing this unnecessarily & Weirdly.....and you know, pathological model vs social model, naturally, where i don't think "hey if this part of being autistic led to Negative Experiences, it's b/c being autistic is worse than being allistic and i wish i was allistic, b/c that's the only way to Not be, for example, objectively and rightfully excluded and punished by people around me" lmao

but for a start i saw some quote from an autistic person the other day mentioning just this sort of like, what they love about themself re: being autistic, and i remember one of them being You Mean What You Say lol, with the example "if i ask 'how are you' it's because i want to know how you are" lmao like yeah a really exhausting Greeting Ritual in particular when it's like, literally every time you hear that you have that awareness like "okay remember this person doesn't Actually want to hear about how you are," tbt to times like "when it's was really discouraging being texted regularly like 'what're you up to / how long will you be away' because for a sec i'd interpret it as 'this person is actually just asking what's up or wondering when you'll be around to hang out with, might be asking with the intention of making plans With you,' but then i have to remember it's about hoping i'm Away so my presence isn't interfering with what they want to do and of course it's not about genuine interest in my life/day otherwise or wanting to hang out" like, this shit is exhausting lmao. and you know, of course i know Different Communication Styles and how people will read different implications and intentions into the same kinds of interactions or behaviors or whatever, it's just Funny(tm) when like. some nt ppl think their social/communication styles are what's Objective, Universal, Correct, Intuitive, Effective, etc. like they'll be like "it's Great to say what you mean instead of Playing Games" and think autistic people are blunt / rude & it's b/c they're communicating Wrong, like actually you guys are saying you love ppl who are Real & Honest while being that post like "i love drama i love games if you fuck with my friends i will help you do it" lmaooo

also yknow to an Extent i think that like. sometimes just being very independently Enthusiastic about something can seem fun to nt people lol like, yes i can monologue about something aloud for 5 or 10 or 80 minutes maybe, or just you know, talk about it to myself via Posting lmfao, and sometimes that appeals to people or they at least regard it Neutrally because it's like. supposing that sometimes even when it's not something someone else is also interested in, idk, people are down for a like, individual experiences of unfettered expression of that passion lmao, but like, ftr i would hate instances of this as like a "because being enthusiastic like that is," deep inhale, "cute" or whatever, like, if i'm gonna talk about something it's a Lecture okay lmao. and plus i do plenty of it via Text lmfao, so, not many times i get to in person talk about whatever, or it'll be like, look at this video of a cool bird. i do not need someone's like, Personal Affection to find it Cute or Wholesome that i'm passionate about birds, or, god knows, fine anything else Cute, an assessment i never need or want, engage w/the information being shared please lmao. and then also, you know, i Draw Things based on it being v Of Interest lol so that's like, thank you to myself for having these Thoughts i want to express about Things Of Interest, i get to have fun like, just focusing in on what Creative Project i wanna do about it lol even if it's also like, boy, what if i could just have the idea and it'd Manifest, and you know, drawing is a way i am Talking About Something, certainly also if i'm dropping a tags essay about it lmao.........love to just delve tf into things and have all these thoughts & things to say about it, and really like, Exceptional when anyone wants to engage with this like, repeatedly / regularly lol. shoutout, Thanks, Epic

and well you know. i don't have any incredible specifics coming to mind here but in whatever ways i might think of things Differently it's like, hell yeah then, epic of me, i will be out here Figuring Shit Out even if i have to marinate on things, i'm sure motivated to engage with stuff that's Of Interest to me, when i have these solid ways to communicate with other people it's fun and flexible lmao, and i think there's that fun of being like, Performative in a way, theatricality, which i think like, maybe a source of that can be when you Have to be aware of the "rules" of interactions / social performance, but also how yknow, you can Act any way, there's nothing universal, there's maybe plenty of bullshit involved, hence how you can Have to be at least somewhat aware of things because you have to try to figure out the Secret rules and patterns and you know, simply Being Yourself and Behaving Naturally at all times isn't an option.....def have the Theatre type Theatrical thing lmao, the "theatre gay ft religious parents, enjoying harmonizing in the church choir lol i'm a Tenor babey" experience lmao, being in 4th grade auditioning for this set of play scenes like oh i get to be the main Antagonist guy? also i'm playing a guy? also i'm in this play and have lines and stuff? Hell yes lmao. and the Stage Performance via eventual roles via dance classes, i remembered the other week the studio i used to be at Used to have this like, idk, thing where the older dancers in a certain group maybe used to have a trip to nyc, think that fell away not long before i was one of those more Skilled Dancers like damnit, never really went to nyc except driving in and out to pick people up from the airport, like hey that distant smudge out the car window is probably the statue of liberty or something.....but the rehearsing and playing a Part and being in shows was. a ton of fun. i Said No to Stage Fright lmfao and really enjoyed being backstage and rehearsals and etc. but also i think i just Can be theatrical you know, in my own social approach lmfao, i'm big on talking with my hands lmao and i can get like, some Social Momentum going that way, i can have some confidence and can sort of hit that groove and it's like, not exactly masking trying to act """"normal"""" but i'm still Being Myself in this more "acceptable" way that nt people might better Understand or whatever. i also just like, personally, i love to be kind of theatrically Funny for sure lmfao and like, if people are just like overwhelmed by the least amount of goofiness / can't or won't play along at all i'm like, Please, work with me here lol, also like damn you live like this??? cmon lol

and well, nonconclusion, but it's pretty difficult to think of things like, what do i Dislike about being autistic which isn't about the way allistic ppl treat you sucks, like, e.g., it'll be like damn augh oof Misophonia, aural texture hell, hardly fun but that's not always a disaster, and as long as i can like, do something to block it out, and if i have to be like "hm this is distressing me b/c this noise is really really pissing me off lmao" as long as you know, i'm not amongst people who are just going to be annoyed at me for making up some problem and/or daring to speak about this experience inconveniently. be normal maybe. idk i'm just like right on, Myself

[xmoonlitxdreamx]

Zero Escape rambling/opinions under the cut

I'm not really super involved in the ZE fandom these days, but is sigma/luna generally seen as controversial...? It's hard fpr me to gauge ppl's opinions in the fandom idk... I never played ZTD so i really kinda percieved them to be a potential romance (w the "i love klim" password, luna ending where she holds Sigma & it's revealed he gave her the necklace, also sigma's weird "flirting" w her which i personally wasn't always a fan of but that's another topic).... idk it never read as familial to me so even tho i know canonically ztd sigma says "luna's like a daughter to me" i just.... dont really buy that or put that into account at all when I draw them, I kinda just ignore that....

like i guess it can be imagined as me drawing from a timeline where sigma doesn't develop a familial relationship with luna? I mostly draw them w luna having romantic feelings for him, and sigma having a mix of lingering sentimental feelings for diana/romance in general + soft affection for luna... idk i know i just said i ship them but even then i kinda draw them w sigma trying to keep things platonic between them given the situation, but he does also maybe have some sort of underlying romantic feelings for her. Idk that's just my take on them, kinda not very articulate or clear rn sorry;;

Even with never playing ZTD I personally didn't like how they handled Sigma's plot and stuff so a lot of the game just doesn't feel canon to me & I don't apply to my drawings of the characters;; Honestly some of the decisions made between vlr and ztd just baffle me like if Sigma and Phi are father & daughter, why would they make 22-year-old Sigma make weird passes/comments about her in vlr.... like i think before ztd was released uchikoshi had been like "i dont view sigma and phi romantically for reasons that will be explained later, don't view them like that" in an interview & im like.... you could have avoided ppl seeing them like that if you didn't write sigma making weird comments about phi in vlr...... idk i never viewed phi and sigma romantically while playing & mostly saw them as friends who insulted each other a lot, but i also wondered like maybe they're supposed to be a pairing or something?? So it was just weird for me to learn that in ztd "oh sigma's actually phi's dad" and "oh sigma actually sees luna as his daugter" when it seemed like vlr was implying otherwise...

(again i dont ship sigma/phi and personally never saw them romantically in vlr... I do think it's weird that they made sigma flirt (?) w phi in vlr & think they should've been more careful abt how they handled their dialogue given that they are revealed to be father and daughter.)

Anyway idk, a lot of sigma's character and relationships w other characters is just so weirdly written.... like i know most ppl dont like him for making gross comments abt the girls in vlr and i agree... i think there are ways to write horny characters (or even just characters that find a lot of ppl attractive) without having to make them make a lot of gross comments at people... it's like annoying to me that there's all this weird stuff surrounding him when I really liked a lot of his other characterization (like being kinda a goofy idiot but smart at the same time, his instinct to just trust ppl immediately, his kinda surprising earnestness despite seeming like a self-centered douchebag sndnnxj).

I guess the point is... i like and draw sigma/luna (mostly college au bc post-vlr is kinda complicated) bc i basically ignore a lot of what goes on in ztd and am able to detach myself enough from the game given that ive never played it, but also if it makes ppl uncomfortable truly I do understand that bc he does canonically say he thinks of her as a daughter.... I really really dont see them like that tho so anytime i draw them please know it's not as a father-daughter relationship;;

I don't draw them much anymore but like if it does make most ppl uncomfortable i don't mind not posting what I draw, or like making a tag for them for ppl to block... idk. This is basically a non-issue bc i really haven't drawn sigluna in a while... but i do also want to eventually finish that comic i was working on last year, which kind of has sigluna themes (tho the conclusion is why things can't work between them tbh sjnxndnn idk in post-vlr timeline i kinda hc no endgame romance for sigma... hence why i ship him w so many ppl in my weird college au LMAO;;)

Anyway yeah. Idk what else to say here, there's not really a point to this post just kinda blabbing... might delete later bc i hate having opinions on things jsncndnjc

SIGH in conclusion i think uchikoshi did sigma dirty lmao.....

[hklnvgl]

Hi your name pops up on a lot of different fandoms I'm in - hp, trc, tua, atla. I love your blog, and need some advise. I'm having real trouble. I spend hours on Tumblr because I don't want to unfollow ppl as I want to be mutuals with the content creators in my many fandoms. I like some posts of some people but theyalso post a lot of non fandom things and don't tag for it. Like about drugs mental health or political angry stuff. How do you manage so many communities and following so many ppl

hello there! i don't know if it's a lot of not but i follow around 300 blogs and, true, not all of those are exclusively fandom. i think you actually have different concerns here so i'll try to address these as best as i can—i'm in no way an expert in social relations and definitely not one in online ones so this is just my opinion and my personal experience. (this got long and it's 4 in the morning and i can't find the read more on mobile so just bear with me and scroll down)

while i follow people and read fic and occasionally write and interact with a ton of fandoms, i'm not the same kind of active in all of those. i invest lots of energy in being part of the trc fandom bc i'm really passionate about those characters and their stories, but i for example wouldn't say i'm an active part of the hp fandom. I'm not saying you have to choose just one fandom to make your experience worthwhile, but that you really don't need to force yourself to follow stuff you're not interested in or interact with them. i follow ballet blogs and blogs that only post 19th century painters' works. i like having their posts pop up in my dash. i wouldn't say the people running those are my friends, though, bc we've never really interacted apart from me reblogging their stuff occasionally.

what i'd advise you to do is curate your experience carefully. if you follow some blog but they post a lot of stuff that you don't care about and they don't tag that, you can block the keywords in that stuff (not just the tag but you can now filter words appearing in posts. i have filters set for lots of things i don't want to see like spoilers or artists i don't follow or things that really annoy me and i just don't have to see that content. true, sometimes a post escapes that filter, but i still don't see it 9 out of 10 times so it's worth it).

a person still posts too many things that you don't really want to see, and it's too random that you can't really see a pattern on what to filter, you can either send an ask to that person asking them to tag (and they may do so or not) or you can just unfollow them. it might seem ungrateful? or just rude to unfollow someone that you had followed bc they're a great artist or you like their fics but at the end of the day it's you who count and you who have to look out for yourself. follow more sideblogs or just tags of the things you're interested in and the stuff will just appear on your dash.

as for being more active on fandom and making friends—that's just another can of worms. there are plenty of great advice out there (you can have a look at @ao3commentoftheday great advice on the matter) but it's still hard and depends on lots of factors. there are really populated fandoms in which you get lots of interaction from a fic or just a tagged post, bc there's just so many people, but it's harder to make friends there just bc of that. if the thing you're interested in is a rare pair of an old fandom it's going to be harder having people interested in talking about it. my advice would be to just interact with the stuff you like.

reblog the art you enjoy and leave comments in the tags, send asks to your favourite artists telling them what you enjoyed about what they do. leave comments on ao3 (idk if you're a writer yourself but we do notice you and we learn your usernames and we're always excited to see you there). a longer comment gets more noticed than a short one and a short one more than a kudo. we can not see who subscribed our fics but all of that is still appreciated. even if we creators seem popular or unattainable (we are not and at least i don't consider myself a big name or anything like that) you can always drop by and send an ask or just message us to talk about fandom and stuff. I've heard great things about discord but I have yet to try that myself.

i do personally spend a lot of time on tumblr just bc all those political angry stuff and mental health are things that don't get mentioned in my other feeds in other social media and therefore i don't get too stressed about it. i kinda hate going into twitter bc the political talk is about the people ruling my country so it affects me more directly. here i just enjoy the memes about horses leaving hospitals and vibe with it all. i am also a very curious person that gets bored super easily so i really like that here you can find random videos about chicken and then gorgeous pynch art. i like the variety.

that may not be your case though so I'd just say don't be afraid to unfollow people you don't like following and don't be afraid to interact with people you admire. also, don't expect people to just follow you back and don't be disappointed if they don't. you may be in fandoms they don't like or they may like having a super minimalist dash. you can only control what you do so do your best at that!

[neonwizardheehee]

personal rant & brain dump bc I’m listening to bigbang and feel emo:

so i have a few topics that are circling my mind thus this will get messy (as usual hahaha)

- music as I said I’m listening to bb and the way I wanna cry??? mainly bc i miss my sis talking about them and being all happy and proud.. and just her in general v.v I feel like i overdid her with kpop and that doesn’t feel good. i was supposed to be the baby but i got too invested and now i am so damn invested i scare her :((( it makes me so sad :( but idk how to stop.(current mood & playing: let’s not fall in love) 

 - romance the new girls i met here are so different from the friends i have bc they are extroverts. i never had extroverts as friends before so i feel blessed now. we only met recently but they already were so open to me about things no one ever told me. like 3/4 girls i met talked to me about their first time and BOI i was so glad that we casually talked about it bc my other friends wouldn’t do that in a million years bc they are too shy. it really felt good. also no one judged me which was very reassuring. albeit me feeling a bit dumb bc i couldn’t really add to the convo but apparently I get better at listening ig? also that made me think that sex and dating shouldn’t be such an “important” topic as it is with my friends before. one friend sees it as an achievement to have a s/o but doesn’t talk about it or either brags (kskssk giiirl that’s so funny yet annoying XD yes u can be proud of your boi and brag bc i’m here for that bc i’m just so happy for you but ... not at random moments XDD). this made me realize how ppl refer to their s/o when talking to others. bc my friends who are very chill with their relationship always say their name while said friend (and ofc some others where having a relationship is important) always say “my bf/gf” or “ex” when that specific info is not relevant to the story they are telling XD

anyways it also made me realize how BAD i am with talking about my own feelings and wishes. since talking about my worries feels like complaining and i am good at that - but it feels random and uninteresting for anyone to hear i think to myself (it prob isnt). i feel so smol when asked about that topic and all i wanna answer is “???”. even if there is no pressure. idk why I’m like this and it makes me feel sorry for the people around me :( I’m so confused and idk what the question is. i can do better with writing but idk why but i wanna find out one day hahah. maybe i should just ask my new friends for advice since they are not judging me and i trust them and want to learn to be better with that. altho there’s this thought that I’m uncapable of love which frightens me a lot. I know i’m okay without it and i don’t mind but i feel so sorry for the people who like me? it also might be natural and I’m just stressing myself over nothing so idk what to ask and do -since you can’t force love right? i mean i don’t really believe in love at first sight i guess but rather spending time with that person and liking them a lot. so id why I’m pressuring myself so much with this :( maybe i am just too scared? or maybe i am anticipating too much? it all could be possible bc for everyone love is different and every relationship is different. so it’s mostly me feeling sorry for not giving back as much as i should and could :( - that’s also the reason why I’m so pro polyamorus relationships bc I know I’m not enough and idk how and if i want to fix that bc idk the rules bc there are none hahhaha - but also that makes me feel good bc i know i’m not responsible for someone’s happiness. i am too egoistical and these thoughts work as a self-protecting mechanism I KNOW that’s why i do this. so i’m not stressing myself even more. i just feel so unfairly precious when someone genuinely praises me when we’re just two ppl and no one else :( might be bc i don’t understand that feeling yet. i def want to know that but also i’m scared that it’d take me down a road where i loose myself (for some foolish reason idk why). so in the end ig I keep trying and get used to that (i already made loads of progress this year so ig i shouldn’t feel like I’m being too slow)

- studying okay so next topic is also just me feeling like i do too few. this week went quite okay and i managed to study on out study server everyday (ofc i had my bad days but i still at least smth). well yesterday i hastily did some vocab and then teh whole day i spend with friends & kpop... like LITERALLY until the night. a friend of mine was proud of me for taking a break (me too yesterday) but today i don’t feel good about that :( i missed so much. i’m scared it’ll kick me out of my study routine (since it was so hard to get my ass down to study itself!). i really want to be the person who’s studying every day and feel good about that. so since i have another thing planned today i don’t think i’ll get much done today as well :(((( i just wanna be a wise guy who knows a lot T.T i already made progress i know but... i want more.. i really wanna do well here and not be stuck behind like i was for the past 6 years :( i wanna have ambition again and not just pass... i kind of hope i can manage to study at nights on days like this but also i need my sleep so i stil have to find a solution for that. bc even tho i regret not studying as much i don’t regret hanging out with people. that’s smth i missed out in my first semester and so important in times like this were I’m stuck on my own. 

- religion so i have one christian friend here and yesterday we talked about church services and stuff like that and it was cool learning how it’s with her bc she goes to a very modern church (instead of me going to a traditional one 4 times a year). Suddenly i got sad tho and felt like crying :( even tho she was just stating her opinion i felt attacked and wanted to cry. after some thinking i think it’s just the way we are used to talking about religion bc we both grew up in an area where religion is looked down onto. for me .. i turned to myself and made up my own thoughts and beliefs bc i am too scared to talk and ask someone about it bc of all the accusations around me. religion was not smth to be discussed and only smth for yourself and maybe your family for me. the girl had to fight her way through all the “churches are old and fucked up and scary” things and since she goes to a modern one has good reasoning against them - that’s perfectly understandable and I’m so proud of her for speaking up like that. but like... it hit me on thw wrong side bc i am used to these old traditions and kind of like them even :( so it felt like she was insulting me. even tho she wasn’t.  i just dont know how to talk about religion and how to practice reading the bible or praying and hearing her talk about how she does all these things.. makes me feel invalid :( it’s like the only thing that i have is that i was raised a christian. but y’know for me it was okay since i learned in school not to practice or show my religion.. so idk how to do it... and i feel baby and sad if i have to ask her for some reason. i tried to look up this on the internet but ofc everyone is even more crazily involved there and it scares me SO much. so i unfollowed everyone hahah. i also have this one podcast but i still feel bad bc i’m not able to really read the bible on my own ig :( these days I’m just blaming it on the translation that i have but deep down i know it’s me who’s not able to ask questions at the text. maybe i should try to talk to someone... my sis who’s also in the same situation as me... or said girl to take me along and feel like a complete newbie and a little bit like an outcast bc religion for me is so different than to her.

- christmas i really enjoy the christmas spirit but i also already wanna cry if i think about gifts. i hate that i have so many people i love and will prob get smth from them so i have to make smth in return. i am overwhelmed and scared already. i didn’t even make a list yet T.T feels like i should block time to figure out gifts in my schedule bc I’m just putting it off more and more :( and also i already feel sorry for everyone bc they will get shitty gifts bc I’m so bad at this :(

[irl-dogboy]

ok gonna. vent and stuff under the cut. im very sorry ive been doing these vent posts so often recently i have just not been having a good time u_u lmk if u read through and need anything tagged. i might make a whole new tag for ppl to block bc ngl i dont think anybody wants to read these lol

iiiiiiiiiiiiiii grew up too fast and i wish that the adults in my life were responsible!!!! yup thats what today’s problem is!!!!!!

i hate that i have to play parent to my parents and aunts and uncles when they get drunk. and ill admit that they dont get drunk often!!! but. when they do its so annoying. and i feel like a dick for saying that (which is a whole other problem) but i can hear uncle harassing my fucking dog right now, shes trying to sleep bcause today has been really stressful for her. but shes being woken up by his annoying aggressive dog and his yelling and annoying shit. and i want to go get my dog and bring her in and make sure shes ok but i cant because im literally terrified of him.

but like i know that my parents have been irresponsible fucks since the very fucking beginning!!!!! i was watching family guy at age 4!!!!!! i was allowed to do whatever the fuck i wanted online when i was like 8!!!!!!!! EIGHT YEARS OLD!!!!!! I MADE A DEVIANTART ACCOUNT IN 2012!!!!! I WAS FUCKING EIGHT OR NINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THEY DIDNT CARE!!!!!!!!! i dont do it anymore but i used to do nsfw roleplays when i was 11 fucking years old!!!!! i found pony porn when i was 10!!!!!! they did not fucking care!!! not once did they check, or ask me about what i was doing!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they dont know to this day!!!!! and i dont know if i can call that any kind of traumatic but its certainly given me a shit ton of problems!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ive been being the bigger person, the responsible one, since i was 11 years old. im so fucking sick of it. its not like hurried child syndrome, but. i just. hello????? and ive been brainwashed or something to feel bad for thinking that theyre assholes!!! its never their fault, its always “you know we’re shit parents” LIKE SELF AWARENESS FIXES ANYTHING!!!!! good job buddy you acknowledged something ive known for 5 or 6 years. gonna do anything to change? no? rad!!! and its like??? i cant even complain to them because theyve done good things too!!! i have a nintendo switch. i have a 3ds. i have a laptop, and a tablet, and a little portable speaker, so theyve made me think that im spoiled for wanting an ounce of responsibility!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

and the thing that gets me the most, more than anything that theyve ever done to me, is my parents have been putting off taking my dog to the vet. which is fucking insane. because she has a giant fucking tumor and its getting worse and shes acting different and shes old and i want her to live as long and as happily as possible but she cant even curl up into a lil donut to sleep because of the tumor she has. and it just makes me so fucking MAD because ive been begging them to take her to the vet for months in case its something bad and we dont wanna be too late to save her they just keep!!!! putting it off!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its like? am i the only one that fucking cares about her???? im the only one that feeds her and fills up her water and checks on her when shes stressed and i want her to be okay because shes basically the only thing im fucking living for and i want her to be ok. so. fucking. badly

and like. obviously this is some real intense wishful thinking but i wish that like a teacher or a distant relative would appear and just. take me away. idk. i just wish my parents werent my parents and my family wasnt my family LOL

[sasukebarmitzvah]

watching every naruto opening and discussing my opinions because im bored liveblog

original

took me a little while to warm up to it idk why maybe because its not as up tempo and its a shonen and i want to get hype but i love it now. love the part where the camera pans around team 7 fighting randos they are babies… also its so funny when sasuke holds out his hand to naruto to help him out of the lake and he jsut fist bumps him. gay boy

Haruka fucking kanata baby!!!!!!!! a fav. like we all know this. i listen to the song just regularly a lot and every time it comes on shuffle im like Oh my god its haruka kanata. read the english translation of the lyrics… sns

this one got stuck in my head for a while lol. i like seeing everyone babie and i like naruto shaking his head at the end to dry off like a dog

DDMnanannaddnnaaaaa naaaaaaaaa nda aaWE ARE FIGHTING DEAMERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOLI OLI OLIOOOOoohh!!!!! very fun very good also a very good time in the show, hello tsunade

**edgy shonen opening where theres something important in front of a chain link fence**

lol skipping 6-9 bc thats the huge chunk of filler which i didnt actually watch most of

shippuden

heros come back is SO GOOD absolutely one of my favs. banger first of all. i love how its actually choreographed and naruto sakura kakashi are like moving to the beat and i love the part where the animation is like pencil sketchy and theyre running and their bodies warp bro its just cool. the part where everyone dramatically reaches for gaara is fun, also love deidaras moment. anyway i shake my ass to this song eveyrday

distance oh god oh fuck. YOU ARE MY FRIEND!!! the sasuke and naruto stuff where they are little baby at the beginning at the end we return to the same place theyre there and like about to stab each other i’m going to scream. i lvoe the song of course. hello sai! i love team 7s little spotlight moments where they get to pose to the music its so cute. why is sasuke snake jesus? DO you remember that long lost DREAM!!!!!!!!!!

BLUE BIRD YA BANGER ok the whole symbolism. when naruto falling next to sasuke rising is positioned like yin and yang lol. when naruto is falling from the sky but then sasuke comes to mind and he springs into action lol. ok random people from the fillers i dont care about. naruto fell in the lake he picks up the bird feather interspersed with a couple shots of sasuke horgh. additional reading: paper bag by fiona apple

closer is one of the ones where im like eh its ok its not my favorite and then it gets to the chorus and my dumb ass is jsut screaming YOU KNOW THE CLOSER YOU GET TO SMETHING THE TOUGHTER IT IS TO REACHIT. the funniest part where narutos moping and thinking of sasuke and then he just perks up and smiles at the camera like. gay boy. like getting to see the asuma fight scenes in this op, also it was so funny seeing him get all the screentime in this op knowing hes about to die like yeah very subtle

SHA LA LA!!!! LOVE IT i love it i love it soooo much first of all banger second of all naruto looking into the water and his reflection is sasuke. lollllll. metaphor m-e-t-a-p-h-o-r the little prechorus bit in the middle gives me chills. love sasuke walking into the purple pool like a smug motherfucker thats my boy. at the end zooming into sasukes pupil zoom out it’s narutos eye oh the poetry..

signs another one of the ones where im like eh whatever its fine but not my fav but by the chorus i am standing on the table freaking out. like fuck jiraiya but this one got me a lil. the lighting and choreography of the sasuke itachi fight bit is sooooo nice and pretty, love getting to see all the new players in the story. baby ame orphans fading to the shot of yahiko as pain.. :(

this one literally makes me cry. i get chills what the fuck. definitely one of my favs. am i a bitch? maybe. i like the song by itself but like the way the rise/general shape of the melody flows with the visuals its like oh god oh fuck. again fuck jiraiya but like the role his character serves as a link between these disparate groups of people and the way thats used in this opening… how it starts and ends with him writing and this is the arc where naruto reads tales of a gutsy ninja and he learns about how he got his name and jiraiya wrote the book and hes WRITING and im going CRAZY!! i’m starting to tear up watching it rn. the shot of konan and the pains in that moment just before they leap forward. Sayonaaaaaaara aa lksasldfkwpoeifjhnuerIELFeuiertekdjsnlfweiourbg kakashis moment is cool in this op. also love to see the girls getting fight scenes in this op cus they sure dont in the actual show LOL anyway yeah im at the part where the melodys just hitting sooo different oh my god naruto frog eyes

DIVERRRRRRR. FAV literally like naruto is drowning. hes drowning and everyone is pushing him up so he can breathe again everyone is fighting to save him and thnen he s ouf ot the water and then he sees sasuke drowning and he JUMPS BACK IN. FOR ONE PERSON EVEN THOUGH ALL THESE OTHER PEOLE were working to help him out he dives back in for SASUKE whos drowning in the eyehole of obitos mask which is cool. ok yeah this is another one where im like tearing up because THe cymbal is em….. the way The movement of the visuals is choreographed with the song is so much. nico TOUCHED the fucking walls.

this one kinda annoys me i dont know why it just wasnt my favorite. love the sasuke and naruto staring at each other intensely moment though, would this be a shippuden opening without that. also the part at the end where sakura holds up her kunai and it like slashes and covers sasuke and naruto… inch resting…

newsongs so weird i love it. like what the hell is going on. why is naruto running like hes from some weird gmod video from 2013. love the LITERAL choreography, everyone dancing to the song like this is a musical. theres just a lot of weird moments which is fun. love sai naruto and sakura making the seal together to shoot lightning. raikage leaping gracefully across the beach

i do not enjoy this one. i just dont. it just feels like we’re bootlicking which of course we are because this is the war arc and everything is a nightmare

i remember seeing the first episode with this opening and i was excited bc its like… great another naruto pining for sasuke one this is what im here for. a light banger. minato manlet monday. ohh right this was the one where gaara sees his dad again and his OH I SEE SASUKEE

Banger! nico did indeed touch the walls again. i like that this one is like visually thematically consistent thru the whole thing, i like the nighttime dimly lit atmosphere with the bursts of brighter colorful lighting, also whenever i see tsunade i freak out. narutos cute at the end

SUCH A BANGER!!! also very cool visual style, appreciate it for that like the last one, its got that pretty consistent aesthetic with the red sky and the high contrast black blocking its fun and cool to watch. did i mention the song is a bit of a banger. obito passing thru the rock is cool too bad hes an idiot

ok from this one there were two lines i remember always seeing in the english sub that made me freak out. and one of them was like “this red hot love burning my heart” and it was over kakashi and obito fighting like damn OK. also the “i put the candle out with my finger” thing sticks in my head idk why. hate that we have the narutos big meaty claws i mean manly hands moment though. omg its hashirama and madara and then it CUTS TO SASUKE AND NARUTO IN THE SAME POSE LOL OK…

SILHOUETTE IS a banger… not as much so as some of the others but its a lot of fun. very colorful op, we got some naruto pining for sasuke, classic. also love the thing where ppl are running and they age as they do and they sort of grow into their present selves, a fun visual bit. the end where narutos like obito be nice now look at all these people behind me who think youre a meanie please be nice :(((((((((

another one with a really good visual principle ugh i love how the style of the show is integrated w the styles of more traditional printmaking its very swexy and nice to look at

LINE uugrgh i love this one, maybe a fav… naruto chasing after the light and sasuke trying so hard to snuff it out as they both reflect on their memories of each other oh god oh fuck… also i love the bits where it just has all the characters in a row like it reminds me of that one post about how in the endgame trailer they had a shot of all the female characters together to be like Girl power!! and someone was like yeah thats them showing u exactly how many women theyre going to disrespect LMAO but yeah i do love this op. also the song itself being slower w/ the triplet tempo is a nice change of pace

blood circulator hee hee… the version of this with naruto and sasuke moments is A Lot but even just the generic first version is fun. the part where narutos like knocked on his face hes sinking into the tar and hes not even trying to save himself hes just staring at sasuke, but then he sees sasuke distressed and he goes bijuu mode immediately like What did u say about my mans? there is some homoeroticism

i really hate everything about this i hate it all. sasuke is cute. thats it. ok first of all why did choji cut his hair his long hair look was so gooooooood. hinata bimboification? i mean if anything it was fun to watch these fillers just cus it was fun to watch kakashi be the hokage but really goofy and also the Crumbs tossed to the kakairus… but yeah i hate everything temari got bimbofied too like ugh please let her be a dyke :( this isnt even me talking necessarily about the opening this is me just being like i hate the naruto ending. LOL SASUKE AND NARUTOS NO HOMO BRO HIGH FIVE AT THE END LOLLLLL

ok im done

[twilightprophet]

today was a long day my guys. i saw J & his girlfriend. tbh when i emailed him i only half expected him to take me up on my offer, i never expect much. but he agreed & brought his girl??? dude why are you meeting up with me, go do fun stuff with her. like,, theres better things to be doing??? Idk why he thought that would be fun, he honestly could've said no

i didnt expect them to stay so long either. we met at 2:30 and didnt leave til after 5. J is really good at talking a lot tho lol. they talked about their hometown back in Fin and why J chose to come to IU (he thinks the midwest is exotic. "None of my friends have ever been here!" his gf: "and they never will". she seemed unimpressed with bloomington, which is fair). apparently he made her leave the apt when he was doing his skype interview with Elisa & PK, which like. mood

she doesnt like turtles which baffles me. J asks me about my torts a lot so today i showed him a pic of žemy and he got so excited, he couldn't believe how small she is. when we parted he even told me to tell žemy he says hi. but she doesnt like torts, and J tried so hard to get her to like them. she said theyre slimy so he responded "no, they're warm and dry like a kitten", which was a funny comparison & he got called out for it. he kept trying to get her to like them but its fine, ppl have odd fears. i told them my ant fear in compensation

turns out J lives just a block away from me so i walked most of the way home w them. we saw some bunnies! and J found a tree filled with birds, many birds. theres a statue on the way home & she wanted a photo of it but he stopped for Way longer; he lives here but only just now started really looking at the statue, read the plaque. she got impatient so he said "it gives me book ideas" and she said "well none of them have panned out", poor J got burned so hard. he tried digging himself out of it, nah. J said he came here partially for the library and we passed it, so i asked if he had shown it to her; he has but only for a minute. he's so excited for the library and she made fun of him for it, rip

she seems nice tho. she had a lot of questions about american pancakes and stuff. they asked me some questions about myself which never goes well bc i hate talking about myself irl but i survived ! he always mentions how i said i wouldnt buy salmiakki in Fin but then i brought home a box anyway, he finds that funny. and he remembered our conv. about Poland

also i think J knows my pronouns??? idk how. it had to have been PK. bc i didnt come out to the finns before and emily didnt know til my bday so. idk, he must've caught on thanks to PK. but he referred to me to his gf at one point and said "he" ? unless i misunderstood. if J does know maybe thats why hes so overly nice to me. pity or whatever. cool

idk, i hope i didnt annoy them. i mean, J lingered before we parted but hes always like that. i hope i didnt take up their time too much, shes only here til the 3rd and then theyre apart again

anyway. i saw PK today! when we were leaving the restaurant i saw her, she was meeting w some old Est student. J was nervous about talking to her (he wanted to study Est this coming spring but decided he didnt have time & hes scared to tell her) but its PK! i went to say tere and her eyes lit up and she looked so happy. she said tere in the sweetest tone ive ever heard & hugged me!! PK never initiates hugs but she hugged me! my brain short circuited, i had to pause for a moment and register that. she must miss me and isaak. we talked for a bit and J got the courage to come say tere too. she invited us to sit but nah, we'd been there A While. i emailed her afterwards and she got back to me saying we can do a coffee hour next week. and she sent me a link to some polish & lithuanian embroidery she found!! i love PK

oh, i accidentally paid for J's stuff and he paid for mine (i paid like $5 more, w/e) and he said "wow you do a lot for me". bc i got some stuff for him in Fin and whatnot. i mean, thats purely out of anxiety & trying to please ppl but it was nice to get a smile

i, uh,,, that crush isnt gone but I guess im gonna just live Like This