#practically ancient smh

[parti-poppers]

First proper pride drawing this year ft the squad! And also, it’s my birthday! Yippee!!

[cheemscakecat]

Disney rewrote the blue milk lore, and it’s for the worst.

So the Blue milk was originally from Banthas, a local herd animal from Tatooine itself. One that’s been around for a very long time, seeing as the Sand people are so attached to them.

Disney decided to rewrite the milk lore for some reason, and make it originate from these elephant seal looking things. That live on an obscure coastal world that you need the force to find.

I’ve read a collection of short stories from Tatooine, a legends continuity book. All from different character’s perspectives.

Labria, the devil looking guy at the cantina, is from a cold planet. His people’s swear by the cold, and he’s confused by human swearing.

“The Emperor, may he Freeze.” “By the Cold, I’m a lousy spy.” The word for Cold meat is a swear that gets lost in translation.

So naturally, being from a very cold world, he had to invest in a cooling system for his little apartment in Mos Eisly. That cooling system is terribly overpriced and takes hours and hours to get to the right temperature for him to be comfortable.

Milk is perishable, you would have to pay to keep it cold if you shipped it from some other planet to Tatooine. It would be risky to drink because sellers could be running the bare minimum cooling systems to save money. Or they could get scammed into buying a faulty cooling system and unintentionally make someone sick. Jawas could take components from a shipping freight if it wasn’t guarded.

All of that means blue milk imported from off world would be ridiculously expensive and highly risky to consume. That. Is not taking off with the folks living on Tatooine. They could buy hard liquor for the same or better price, so why waste income on this milk?

But if the milk is from Banthas, it’s automatically going to be cheaper and safer to drink. Moisture farmers can raise these native herd animals for their milk and save the water to sell.

They can ship the milk or other dairy products made with it to town for a much lower price; it doesn’t have to shipped nearly as far, which also reduces the chances of it spoiling and giving someone botulism.

That being said, it’s stupid that Luke would waste hours of his day going to the hard to reach coast, just to get milk. The man is an excellent pilot but decided not to build or buy a skiff or land speeder. Tatooine is known for moisture boys becoming pilots because they have to drive so far! He and his Tatooine friends all love tinkering and piloting.

He could have had a paddock off the beaten path of the ancient huts on that planet, with Banthas or some other hoofed animal for meat/milk. Luke Skywalker is a farmer. Him farming near the village could help explain why the caretakers have let him live there for 14 years when he isn’t even a practicing Jedi, using the planet to grow in his faith.

Disney, you couldn’t even write about milk properly, and you brought it back up in the first place. smh.

[lcftyambiticons-archive]

（ ℒ𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬. 📜 ） ⸻  @relentlessgrief asked : »

How does Lorroakan feel about some casters and how they get their power? Sorcerers are like the nepo babies of the dnd world who are just born with it, warlocks get theirs by probably selling their soul, and clerics get theirs from their god. Meanwhile you have wizards who have to put in the hard work and study. Is that a point of contention for Lorri at all, you think?

HE RESENTS THEM. XD

Wizards like him work for their power, burning through sleepless nights and clawing every bit of knowledge from ancient texts and years of arcane practice. Growing up poor and in ATHKATLA, just getting his hands on a spellbook was a challenge.

For Lorroakan, magic is a reward, not something you should just have. It's as if Sorcerers have been handed a lifetime's work for free??? It's insulting (and he believes the gods have erred in not granting HIM — someone of his great intellect and ambition — both inherited powers and immortality!!! A true injustice!!!11!!)

Warlocks... ew. To him, they're nothing more than leeches, whoring themselves out to a fickle entity for a few quick powers and shortcutting their way around the years of effort HE had to put in. Pathetic and foolish. Smh.

Clerics are just as bad. Begging a god and serving blindly in exchange for magic is equally pitiful in his book.

Power should be an achievement, not a loan or a birthright (unless it comes to him, because OBVIOUSLY, he would have been worthy, and the GODS HAVE CLEARLY ERRED WHEN DENYING HIM ANY INHERITED POWERS !!!!!)

Yeah.... he doesn't think they're worthy of his respect. 😬

[yamatossideboob]

ONE PIECE 1026 Spoilers!

This week's chugs:

missing Soba girls… what sinister machinations are afoot…

smh Dorry and Brogy, aren't there more important matters to deal with? 😤

Nami is fucking GLUGGING that absinthe, I sure hope nothing strange or peculiar happens as a result!

I was genuinely taken back by the presence of absinthe tbh. It tracks that the giants would have a robust and varied liqueur cabinet, but absinthe just feels like a world apart from these mead-swilling colossi. That shit is decadent, maybe in Dressrosa I'd think nothing of it lol. It's HEADY too, not quite hallucinatory afaik, but you'd be proper munted on it for deffo. Which is odd imo for a culture so fond of fighting… maybe Dorry and Brogy imagined their beef 100 years ago lmao

Green fairy was my nickname in high school

LOL I love the Nika pose by Luffy holding the Flintstones meat bone.

Damn I wish Robin would eat me like that

YEAH GIANT SUPER POSE!!!! EVEN ZORO IS DELIGHTED

Bonney is so cute with her android father's corpse 🥺

Also I'm just fretting now but. istg if Oda undoes Kuma's death i am going to right fecked off

I wish i enjoyed this next segment more, but I can't help but see Barto as being underserved since the Grand Fleet formed. I doubt he's out for the count just yet, but I wish we'd seen more of him somehow. I hope at least we see him again for the final battle (and the rest of the GF PLEASE ODA)

In practical terms I appreciate that we're getting closure on this little sub-escapade. Plus Oda probably wanted to remind us that Shanks is in Serious Pirate Mode, can't be letting snots like Barto disrespect an Emperor.

tbqh I think more stan-brained weirdos should be made to drink poison.

The above said, I appreciate Bartolomeo getting this moment to shine. He could be a quality bro of Bon Clay nature when he leaves the parasocial nonsense behind.

Yasopp's actions here are interesting to me, it's like he's a Zoro to Shanks in making sure his captain keeps up the standard of Emperor. Neat little dynamic.

And with that, another vulgar star is snuffed out by Uncle Shanks. Barto & crew aren't dead obviously, I think he could use his fruit power to maybe encase the lot in a large sphere and hamster ball their way back to shore. I really do hope this isn't the last we see of him.

I LOVE THAT ISLAND MAN PIZARRO HAS LITTLE BANDAGES ON HIS ROCK SKULL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

just why is KOBY of all people important to getting the last ponegliff… Pudding is obvious given her ability to read them, but I'm blanking on why Koby is necessary… unless it was as collateral for some exchange of imprisoned pirates? Koby is a current golden boy but idk that he's that important rn… mysterious 🤔

Actually wait if that were true they'd be stoked by having Garp instead lmao nvm

But more importantly YAY MORIA ESCAPED AND CAN NOW MAYBE JOIN CROSS GUILD! I've always had a soft spot for Warlord Dracula, I'd love love love if he became a cog in the wider story again :3

also Sanjuan putting knocked-over buildings back is so funny and sweet. and tbh the next page scene of the BB crew hanging out is just nice, I love when crews just share company, it makes their comradery (or at least cooperation) that much more believable.

LMFAO HEY GRANDA HOWS IT FEEL TO BE LOCKED UP IN CHAINS BY A GREAT EVIL HUH????? fucking cop locked up in a pigsty, we love to see it

The Marejois siege continues, again love to see it!

Okay calling it now, Blackbeard is going to break the siege on for leverage in getting Fullaled nation status. This doesn't feel like much of a call, but BB is nothing if not an opportunist.

Pizarro picking up Devon and Augur's ship is cute 🥺

and now Blackbeard is one step closer to attaining an Ancient Weapon… interesting times are due friends…

Bonney staying to Jimbei is cute too 🥺 it'll be okay dw

"I wonder if it got chomped to bits by a big fish" Robin I love your fucked up sense of humour more than words can say

And now we have the highlight of the chapter: NEW NAMI OUTFIT!!!!!!!!!

This viking glam ensemble is beyond cute imo, I cannot wait to see what outfits the rest of the crew get on Elbaf!!!!

And we won't have long to wait, as there'll be another chapter next week!! Giant fun is ahead namaka!! 💪✖️

[brehaaorgana]

So I'm not actually arguing this bit:

So I'd say that's a major reason Pern AUs and crossovers to make use of the whole sex/gender/orientation stuff in the setting were relatively uncommon

This seems to imply that I'm surprised by a lack of pern specific Omegaverse stories/crossovers with other fandoms and Pern-verse. But that's not what I'm saying.

What I'm arguing is that Wikipedia mentions major SFF works that they identify as ancestors to the Omegaverse trope — namely:

Pon Farr in Star Trek (for having the mating compulsion trope)

Kemmer (a mating cycle) among the androgynous and quote, "hermaphroditic" alien people in The Left Hand of Darkness by Urusula K. Le Guin. So mating cycles + androgynous gender.

Then, Wikipedia names more recent media fandoms in which quote "bestiality" kink was popularized: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Harry Potter, Teen Wolf, and Twilight.

Which.

Extended Side note here but: SIGHHHHHH. I think saying these fandoms popularized bestiality kinks is reductive and not...entirely accurate!

Those fandoms all focus on demi-human/humanoid or human-metamorphosis kinks. THIS IS HUMANOID OR SHIFTER KINK!!!

Which. #1: TO BE VERY CLEAR: that is not bestiality!!! I can't believe I am having to say this, but bestiality is when humans engage in sexual acts with non-human animals. (Per wikipedia, even!!!)

Bestiality IS: Hokusai's The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife.

Bestiality IS NOT: fucking Remus Lupin as a werewolf. Because werewolves are, by definition, humans who have experienced a metamorphosis making them more animalistic. They're still human(oid). That's ENTIRELY different. It's a whole subgenre of romance called "shifter" romance.

And point #2:

The werewolf kink trope predates all of those fandoms and is incredibly fucking old. The earliest "man transformed into wolf" stories from the western world are from ancient Greece, followed by ancient Rome. This carries on to Christian Europe as well, and like many shifter folktales, these stories often involve husbands or wives. (See Marie de France's poem Bisclavret c. 1200, where the wife steals the clothes her husband needs to return to his human form after he changes into a wolf.)

TAXONOMICALLY these are not the same kink!! Even when it is "non-human trickster creature has a human FORM" that is still not bestiality. But werewolf is a human shifting into a wolf, which is a "shifter" trope, related to wolf-man and wild-man tropes that are found in the ancient and medieval world.

Wild men are, by the way, are sometimes depicted as sexual antagonists. Very simply here is an example on a 14th century Ivory Coffer.

This is a Knight riding on horseback. The knight is driving his lance through the mouth of the hairy wild man, whose hand is seen grasping/seizing the shoulders of a maiden. The maiden's hand is seemingly reaching for the Knight's shield.

Basically the (chivalric, civilized, and in this case, Christian) knight is saving the damsel in distress from the animalistic wild man. Recall that the word rape is etymologically derived from the Latin word raptio, or to seize/snatch, which is often used to describe the practice of bridal kidnapping, or the seizure of women for marriage. Some bridal kidnapping practices were done as...basically a play-acted kidnapping after marriage was already negotiated. The most famous use case of this bride kidnapping English speakers know is The Rape of Persephone (and calling it a "rape" is where allllll the discourse comes from because raptio wasn't always a forced violence, and the myth narratives don't all adhere to a singular version of events.)

So the knight is literally rescuing the maiden from the wild man's rape (that is, seizure and kidnapping with sexual/marital intent).

But sure, Harry Potter and Twilight fanfic is what popularized bestiality kink. Smh.

ANYWAYS back to my actual point—

Those sources (and then the Show Dark Angel with the cat people going into heat) ALL get mentioned.

But Pern is ABSOLUTELY in the category of immediate Omegaverse ancestors. All the other sources have maybe one or two specific trope influences on Omegaverse.

But PERN has THREE of the core defining parts of what becomes Omegaverse:

Mating cycles or heats that make people strongly desire sex

Human differences which have influenced sex by making it more animalistic (in this case the human-dragon connection, because dragons and riders are telepathically linked and can feel each other's instincts/urges, so this isn't a transformation/shifter trope per se, but the primal sexuality is still a key feature)

AND new and society specific gender-sexuality roles which are either inherently defined or strongly influenced by points #1 and #2, and may create a caste or hierarchy system. A gold rider and a bronze rider are socially different gender roles and often sexualities than say, Green riders are. (And like, canonically Green riders over time were mostly gay men, with female dragons who went into mating flights. Greens were believed to be sterilized because they chewed Firestone, and their mating flights were beneficial to satisfy the urges of other dragons not mating with a queen/gold rider.) and sub point 3.1 is that these specifically include breeding submissive and dominant roles, and "neutral" roles which may or may not be part of the breeding/heat cycles.

That's THREE whole preceding tropes that Omegaverse shares in, as opposed to only one or two, but Pern isn't noted as a major influence on Omegaverse despite having MORE key shared points with Omegaverse than any other named fictional work listed as a predecessor or inspiration!!

Also to your point, yes, the McCaffreys were very litigious but they actually relaxed that in 2004, and subsequently Pern fic started appearing on fanfiction.net.

When was the first Omegaverse fic published? Oh that's RIGHT. MID-2010.

COINCIDES RATHER NEATLY, METHINKS.

i’m making you know this knowledge in your brain now so that i’m not the only one

i’m making you know this knowledge in your brain now so that i’m not the only one

i was dealt psychic damage when my brain decided to realize this, but i would say that dragon riders of pern are easily definable as a (the?) proto-a/b/o [omegaverse] verse trope and now i can’t be the only one knowing this in my brain

a/b/o is literally just pern dragon mating with simplified “secondary genders” and mating bonds that aren’t guaranteed to be lifelong. 

and wikipedia hasn’t even pointed this out, so this is my groundbreaking contribution to literature/pop culture history because they only mention pon farr mating cycles 

actually POINT IN FACT they city the 1967 episode Amok Time ran in September of 1967, but the first dragonriders of pern book was actually comprised of 

Two components of Dragonflight were award-winning novellas published by Analog science fiction magazine. The first segment, “Weyr Search”, illustrated by John Schoenherr, had been the cover story for the October 1967 issue.[3] The second segment, “Dragonrider”, appeared in two parts, beginning in December 1967, and was also a cover story illustrated by Schoenherr.[4]

so obviously these works were more or less written simultaneously – anne macaffrey couldn’t have possibly been influenced by  seeing Amok Time, since we can assume she had submitted her first draft before the october issue of Analog was published, meaning it was almost certainly already written, planned,  and edited for publication by the time the ST episode aired in september. and ursula k leguin didn’t publish the left hand of darkness until 1969. 

 i think i found a copy of the original 67 weyr search novella, as opposed to just my copy of the bundled publication dragonflight. 

this whole mates/unique people stuff is established here: 

“News travels fast,” F’nor chuckled, nodding at a hurrying craftsman, in the smock of a baker, who gave them a mumbled good day. “Not a female in sight.”

His observation was accurate. Women should be abroad at this hour, bringing in supplies from the storehouses, washing in the river on such a bright warm day, or going out to the farmholds to help with planting. Not a gowned figure in sight.

‘We used to be preferred mates,“ F’nor remarked caustically.

and

But she would have to be extraordinarily wary. Dragonriders were men apart. Anger did not cloud their intelligence. Greed did not sully their judgment. Fear did not dull their reactions. Let the dense-witted believe human sacrifice, unnatural lusts, insane revel. She was not so gullible. And those stories went against her grain. Dragonmen were still human and there was Weyr blood in her veins. It was the same color as that of anyone else; enough of hers had been spilled to prove that.

so we know that ‘dragonmen’ are different than other people, rumored to have ‘unnatural lusts’, talk about the status of being ‘mates’, and have an internal hierarchy [queen/gold, bronze, green, brown…]. 

my point here is like, yes pon farr is similar also, butI

dragonriders have:

secondary social “genders” and/or sexualities based on color of dragon 

secondarily the whole concept of green dragons being sterile females with usually gay male riders 

one specific dragon color that is like, the “one who can mate” and then lay eggs [the gold] is also more rare and highly coveted

the bronze riders are usually the big/powerful/strong personalities or w/e 

mating ritual chases [the mating flight lasting longer is supposed to be a good thing] and mating bonds

have the concept of the female rising [for the flight] which is just a dragon heat

have telepathy that may influence sex

the whole animal instinct thing/animal nature of people

dubious consent or rape is built into the structure of the whole…premise as a possibility aka “the dragon decides, the rider complies…” 

omegaverse is literally just simplified dragonriders of pern with less categories of “presentation” but with similar ritualization of status within society and sex/heats and instead of dragons, people use like, werewolves or wolves or whatever for the sake of knotting trope. the mating bite mark thing is unique from pern but the rest is pretty much the same

why does no on cite anne mccafrey’s weird dragon sex as an influence here like it’s so obvious and pern fans have a shitton of fanfic and text rp where they explore this whole…. *gestures* thing 

do you know i read those books in elementary school and i think they were even available in my school library??? weird dragon sex and all??? 

they were definitely on the list of possible book quizzes i could take for reading points or whatever the hell 

i don’t even read this genre but i do have pern books and now i can’t unthink this connection so there you go. 

[aphrodite-made-me-write-it]

Fic Masterlist (Updated 03/26)

That there music note leads you to a gay playlist. Listen wisely.

ao3 twitter

Yelena Belova

Habits ♫ (Series)

read it on ao3

Rating: E (Explicit! 18+ only!)

Word Count (main series): 41.8k (including one-shots): 44.4k (so far)

Warnings: Fuckboy!Yelena; P0rn Without Plot p0rn with a lil plot; Childhood Bestfriend!Natasha; Reader basically gets railed idk; Reader’s parents also suck but they don’t matter much; Selfish Fic for Me Myself and I

Synopsis: It’s been a few years since you last saw your childhood best friend, Natasha, and her little sister, Yelena. Transferring colleges leads to you needing a roommate, and that roommate just so happens to be Natasha. Not much has changed between you, you’re still thick as thieves. Her sister, however, is a completely different story.

| Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four |

One-Shots:

| Needy (ao3) |

Just Call My Name / I’m Yours To Tame (series smh)

read it on ao3

Rating: E (Explicit, minors DNI)

Word Count: 1.8k (so far)

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort; sad sex; this is literally sad as fuck, yall on twitter said you wanted this but u did not realize this was entirely just SADNESS lmfao; soft smut lowkey; i’d like to think this is a tasteful reincarnation/soulmate au but it’s extremely cheesy

Synopsis: Yelena hasn’t allowed herself to be selfish in centuries. When a face reappears after centuries of loneliness, she doesn’t quite know what to do with herself.

| Part One | Part Two | Part Three |

Kate Bishop

Down Bad

read it on ao3

Rating: E (Explicit!! 18+ only!)

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: R is a magic painter whaaat; R is also thirsty af for Kate; Gay Panic; Muscle Fixation (if that’s even a thing lmao); Natasha is THE wingwoman of the century; Kidnapping (but like, it’s chill); Basically p0rn without plot; Oral (r receiving); Fingering (r receiving) and yuh yuh!

Synopsis: You’ve got a tiny (big) crush on your father’s new prodigée. Lucky for you, Auntie Natasha is here to help. (aka: the one where you’re down bad for Kate Bishop so you get railed by her)

Dawnbringer (series)

read it on ao3

Rating: E (Explicit eventually, 18+)

Word Count (so far): 5.3k

Warnings: Slowburn; Dark Themes; Supernatural Creatures; Werewolf Tropes; Vague Prophecies; Legions of the Undead; Vampiric Overlords; Sapphic Pining; Gay Panic; Apocalyptic Scenarios; Angst/Hurt/Comfort/Happy Ending

Synopsis: After an uneventful party, your night becomes a whole lot more eventful when an encounter with an enormous blue-eyed wolf places you in the middle of an ancient prophecy and a world you never knew existed. Can you fight against fate itself, or will you let legend control your destiny?

| Part One | Part Two |

Carol Danvers

Falling In Love (and Other Clichés)

Rating: M (Mature)

Word Count: 9.7k

Warnings: Light Smut; Hints of Homophobia; Fluff & Pining

Synopsis: You need a date to your ex’s wedding (to your cousin); Carol volunteers, and a whole lot of feelings bubble to the surface.

Perks of the Job 

read it on ao3

Rating: E (Explicit) 18+

Word Count: 5.6k (so far)

Warnings: porn without plot basically; smut; slight daddy kink; ceo carol danvers au; also tony stark shits on dongal trumpet (not literally i just realized how bad that seems after everything else. i meant verbally); oral (reader receiving); Carol being a cocky little shit; ooc wanda probably

Synopsis: You’re expected to take the mantle as CEO of Stark Industries, being not only the daughter of Tony himself, but also one of the top employees. You work your ass off all day for the company, and how does your father repay you? By cutting off your bank accounts, to ‘teach you a lesson’, and practically giving you away to the CEO of a rival company until a proper deal is made between the two. Out of your annoyance blooms a scandalous affair.

Part One

Kara Danvers

Sweet Tooth

Rating: M

Word Count: 4.9k

Warnings: Dark!Fic. Descriptive grotesque monsters and violence; my potty mouth again; my thirst in general; TW: Food Service Industry (Coffeeshop AU but i romanticize NOTHING about being a barista)

Synopsis: You’ve got a crush on a regular. Unfortunately, in a world full of superhumans and aliens, normalcy is simply not an option - not even for a lowly barista such as yourself.

Darcy Lewis

Bar Fries (and Other Drunk Blessings)

Rating: M

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: Hella Gay Tropes! Darcy is my wife goodbye. Literally nothing is bad abt this it’s basically fluff with very light pining. this is the comfort fic i fuckin need lmao

Synopsis: You get a drunk phone call at 4am from a very pissed off astrophysicist who loves to rant about lost bar fries and stolen iPods. Your brother tries to set you up with a girl who tased him.

Wanda Maximoff

Cast A Spell (On You)

Rating: M

Part I | Part 2 coming soon?

Word Count: 3.2k (so far)

Warnings: Reincarnation AU, general gay topes, just SAD

Synopsis: Curses are all fun and games ‘til you pull the short end of the stick. AKA: The Soulmate AU absolutely nobody asked for, combined with the 5+1 fic nobody asked for

Diana Prince

Revelation: XIV ♫ (Series)

Rating: M (Mature)

Word Count: 19.5k

Warnings: Past Trauma; Child Experimentation; Memory Loss; Graphic Flashbacks of Torture; Themes of Death and Dying; Slowburn AF; Angst AF; Happy Ending but Wow It’s Somber

Synopsis: If anyone were to ask Diana Prince if she believed in angels, she’d laugh in their faces. If anyone were to tell her she’d be protecting one, she’d never believe them. Yet, here you are, a dead girl come back to life with no memories of your violent past and divine powers that Diana has never witnessed before. Can you unlock the secrets of your memories and your destiny before you’re captured again, or will you be lost forever?

| One | Two | Three | Four | coming soon |

Natasha Romanoff

Everything Stays  ♫ (Series)

Rating: Mostly M, Some E (Mature, but there will be smut in later parts)

Word Count: 14.8k (so far)

Warnings: Hella Dark, Vampire AU, Lowkey Horror; I basically did to Van Helsing what Wynonna Earp did to Wyatt Earp (Historical Fanfic? Even if Helsing wasn’t real,,,); Existential Dread, always babes; There will be pron. i’ll tell u when but pls read the dang descriptions

Synopsis: You awaken after a century long slumber as the monster your family was destined to destroy. This, unfortunately, can only mean one thing: your greatest enemy is awake, too, and growing stronger. Can you save the world again, despite being the very creature you despise?

| One | Two | Three | Four | coming soon |

5 Times You Fell For Natasha & The One Time Natasha Falls

read it on ao3

Rating: M (Mature)

Word Count: 5.8k

Warnings: Mentions of Past Trauma / Child Experimentation; Fluff; Pining

Synopsis: As the newest Avenger, you find yourself becoming best friends with the Black Widow. Your bond is unlike most, and it isn’t long before you begin questioning your feelings for her. AKA the 5+1 fic we’ve all read before but I’m doing it anyway

Take My Breath Away

read it on ao3

Rating: T (Teen & Up for Cursing uwu)

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: I’m-Sick-But-Refuse-To-Admit-It Trope; Fluff; Soft af

Synopsis: Natasha has the flu and to avoid her wrath, the Avengers decide to go on a top secret mission. Unfortunately, either because you’re the newest member of the group or because Natasha always seems to fixate on you, you’re tasked with staying behind and taking care of her. You may have bitten off more than you can chew.

To Mend (Request)

read it on ao3

Rating: T (Teen & Up for my POTTY MOUTH)

Word Count: 5.1k

Warnings: Post-Breakup, Will-They-Wont-They, Angst, Fluffy Ending?, Mentions of Nat’s Trauma

Synopsis: You and Natasha broke up years ago when you decided to sign up for a Super Soldier program. Now, you’re asked to join the Avengers - which, inevitably, means confronting your ex and the heartache that you’ve totally, 100% dealt with.

The Problem (With Crushes)

read it on ao3

Rating: Explicit (18+ only!!)

Word Count: 4.5k

Warnings: Natasha Romanoff Is A Brat And We All Know It; And She Has A Praise Kink (Change My Mind You Can’t); Smut; P0rn With (Minimal) Plot; Nothing kinky this time sorry guys uwu just pron; OH ALSO there’s slight gore but not really that bad or detailed

Synopsis: You finally take your place at your brother’s side by joining the Avengers, and thankfully, you get along with almost everyone. Almost.

For Funsies / Multi Ship

12 Days of Holiday Fics

Rating: VARIES. 1-5 is rated G for General Audiences, everything else ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK IS NOT! minors dni with those!

Word Count (So Far): 31k

Synopsis: It’s the holidays. I wrote some short fics. Some are fluff, some aren’t. I’d say it’s about 50/50 LSKDFJF because i genuinely cannot help myself

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |

[princess-of-inarizaki]

Hello, dear!~ I send you my first request about Inarizaki manager. I maybe change something after you'll answer my asks. So, my first drabble request: Inarizaki boys have turn who's going to sit next to her on the bus when they go to the tournament or training camp. They live for this moment because they dream about manager and they can sleep on each other's shoulders. - Tilli

-

Inarizaki manager-chan day 1 !!

Just imagine their tiny manager being very prone to sleeping everywhere she goes, and it's so cute when the boys find her at practice, just napping under the bleachers somewhere.

Atsumu: hey where's y/n??

Osamu:

Suna:

Y/n: 💤💤😴

And their eyes literally just turn into hearts. She obviously wanted to come early, to surprise them, but they're always finding her napping somewhere.

And so they all can't wait for practice matches and the coaches are SO confused, because the Miya twins are just constantly begging their coaches for extra practice matches, and Kita is just (subtly) indicating to the coach that they need to go to the other team's school, and not have them come here, because of the highly sought over "bus ride"

So the boys rough it out by the ancient technique of rock, paper, scissors (HAHA) and by pure dumb luck, Atsumu wins.

He was happier than they've ever seen him, shouting smugly and laughing, whilst the rest of them are like “why him?, anyone but him.”

So the practice match against Karasuno is the next day, and Atsumu slides next to y/n in the bus, a huge smile on his face. She has an equally huge one on her face, and his heart just melts!! when he sees that!!

Kita, Aran, Ginjima, Omimi, Osamu, Suna: >:(

They're all madly jealous, while Atsumu winks at them and puts his arm around manager-chan, pulling her closer to him.

And as expected, she falls asleep, ten minutes into the ride, and since Atsumu's arm was around her, the only place to lean her head on was his chest.

Atsumu was literally hyperventilating and combusting?? While manager was just sweetly napping, gently holding his hand, and breathing deeply.

The other boys cannot even begin to describe their jealousy anymore smh -_-

Each one of them practice rock, paper, scissors by themselves, to make sure they don't lose the next time.

Bonus:

Osamu: why did we even choose rock paper scissors, tho?

Atsumu: *smirks*

Taglist: @k-sakusa-old @dai-tsukki-desu @raychii

[possumkingluca]

hey look more: "No wonder he cries a lot, you're his best friend" "Is there like a speaker button on this thing" (rock) "you're acting like my mom didn't describe aero as the purple people eater" "i take that as a compliment" "i just want to trick Quentillius into thinking we found the head of vecna then convince him to... try it on" "Why would!!!! He do that!!!!!!!!!" "alok made a fish zombie" "OUR BIOWEAPON :((((" "WOMEN IN S.T.E.M!!!" (referring to a fucking founder dragon) "Quentillius and Azazel have been infected with I'm Gonna Fucking Kill Somebody disease" "if not themselves" "Fish want women, fear fear me" "Bruno Neptune" (my favorite music artist) "To kill a parrotfish" (psychological thriller) "You made us a three course meal of lore and we wanted chicken strips" "You're gon end up as a serial killer and I'm going to be your first victim"

"THERE ARE NO SMILEY FRIES" "I got to flush you guys down the toilet" "Idea: put formaldehyde in quentillius’s drink." *27 on a DC 30 check* (UUUAAAAAGHHHHHHHH) "gonna crucify alok :3" "smad :( " (flumph <3) "how did you pass? Quentillius failing i can believe but you passing? impossible" "the longer this campaign goes on the dumber we get. you're eating our brain cells." "I tried preventing everyone from trying to kill quentillius and then the circus music started and I lost all sympathy" "so... help me find a well?" "he lived in the slop" "booing at quentillius is not enough he needs to d i e" "sorry i got in trouble with my parents last time i lent out embalming fluid so that's a no anyway" "scorpions /negative" "it's not murder if he kills himself" "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT" "hedgehog" "NO" "Please don't cyanize the cake" "too late" "azazel should go through a 'be eaten by aero for dinner' arc. just sayin." "no." "I never thought I'd have to live in fear of the possibility of my players abruptly performing waterboarding on steroids on an npc." "Aero looks like they'd take a bite out of drywall, so you're doing something right" "stank druid" "not me adding aero eye lore" "i did not write all those notes just to let the campaign fizzle out before russell gets to exploit them" (please fighter come home from war (work) so the DM can torment me :((( plese) "aero exhibits orange cat behavior" "why does that guy look like Quentillius if he was more of a loser" (azazel) "why are all the fashion designers named after U.S presidents" "quentillius with depression" "that's just azazel" "Child labor laws are just suggestions" "aero's husband??? is cadoras not good enough to have a name anymore???" "Sorry not sorry for lying about the notes" (i am going to commit a criminal offense) "if you're going to call him azzy at least use the proper spelling smh" "Aero wanted to marry Azazel off so that Azazel wouldnt go senile" "do you think alok has evil autism. do you think he hyperfixates on being evil" "Little miss Lemme-eat-ur-appendix" "is that alok" "no" "he looks just as depressed as alok" "death by chandelier is very natural" "NO???" "do you think middle aged is old aged" "practically ancient" "i mean probably because racism" "Don't forget it is fun bullying him. Even if he joins cult because of it." "larine jumpscare" "sopping wet cat of a bard" "the lion has a bad case of middle schooler syndrome" "I don't want him to die a horrible painful death... …I'm still torturing him"

dumb quotes from the strixhaven and now homebrewed after graduation campaign i'm in that i think about a lot with context only when it's necessary (and some from the campaign groupchat and conversations i have had with other members or the DM): "If you don't make a move I'll date him" (the person saying this had a boyfriend.) "Taste the rainbow bitch"

"I BECAME A ROTISSERIE CHICKEN" "FUCK YOU MELENTOR" "I hope the latex gets caught in your throat" "I wish my biological parents ate me" "A necromancer never dies" (right before dying) "I HAVE A PIPE BOMB" "We're going to drag Grayson out of his office by his ankles" (right before finding him tied up in a closet and finding out he has been being tortured for SIX FUCKING MONTHS) "I want to crack Grayson's spine like a glowstick" (Unrelated to previous quote and also completely unprompted) "That is NOT a kobold, that is john from lit 101" "Just pocket change to you guys" (1,000 PLATINUM???) "Go play with your boytoy of a lizard" (awful, GOD AWFUL.) "Stop running away and give me a fair fight" (person saying this literally was incapable of taking damage. I am not exaggerating. Straight up invincible) "YOU LEFT ME IN THE SAND"

"Should've put it in a wig" (zombie) "He's gonna call me a whole swear word :(" "Mr. Alex I don't feel too good" (while becoming a rock) "You'll never amount to anything" (uncalled for)

"Not if i'm fast enough" (frequent) "Stop bullying the blind guy" (FREQUENT) "The seahorse fortnite dances" "WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE A DISEASED MR BEAN" "We need to take away this guy's balls" "You forgot Alex's half shaven beard" "Get out of my house" (frequent) "Slaad jerky" "Teeth chandelier" "Aero works on something with Nora, Alex has a heartwarming moment, Alok.. cuts his hand open, AND RAMPART'S GOING TO WAR." "Friendship ended with KACKLES Now MINA'S CREATURE FROM THE ABYSS is my best friend" "Fuck you" "I'd rather not see that" "azazel kinda hot, hopefully quentillius's type" "🤨" "YOU ARE NOT TAXIDERMYING AN ENTIRE ADULT DRAGON AND PUTTING IT ON MY HOUSE" "Funeral Outfit" "You look drop dead gorgeous" (actual compliment) "Don't patronize me." "We're just discussing how Azazel doesn't have any friends" "OH GODS HE WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE FROGS" "FOR GRANDMAAAAAAAAAA" "STOP MAKING DRAZHOMIR CRY" (FREQUENT) "...do you think quentillius would care if I trashed his dorm and left a puddle of blood on the carpet?" "YEAH?" "Quenzazel" "you are not supposed to encourage this" "You want to kiss him ON THE LIPS" "Aurora's the only one who won't psychoanalyze me" "I WANT MY FRIENDS BACK" "Is this Rampart's friend?" "NO" "He's fine-" "Oh thank god" "But-" "NO." "Don't eat it" (frequent) "I have interacted with Larine like 4 times and we are best friends" "I almost died saving a man I knew for 5 minutes" "Me and Urzmaktok are out of a job! :D Strixhaven shut down! :D" i will add more. that is a threat.

[shirtlesssammy]

6x12: Like a Virgin

Then:

Soulless Sam is something else

Now:

A couple is enjoying a nice little chartered flight through an extreme thunderstorm. The woman starts to have a panic attack when she thinks she sees something large fly by the plane. She closes her eyes to relax when the man is snatched from the plane. This does nothing for her panic attack. 

At Bobby’s, Cas comes out of the safe room, having just confirmed that Sam’s soul is in place. Dean asks if Sam will ever wake up.

 Cas has zero patience with the situation. He doesn’t think putting Sam’s soul back was a good idea. Cas felt Sam’s soul --and believes if Dean wanted to kill his brother, he should have just done it outright. He says this all standing two inches away from Dean and then flaps away in the dramatic fashion of the time. 

For Why the Fuck Not Science:

Bobby pours Dean a glass of whiskey and shows him a potential job. It seems that while the man in the plane was found 17 miles away from the crash site, the woman was never recovered. 

Sam’s awake!

He doesn’t remember anything past Stull Cemetery. Dean tells Sam that he’s been back a year and half. And that it’s totally fine he doesn’t remember anything. He tells him nothing more. 

Bobby’s working on a car later and Dean joins him with a couple of beers. Bobby has some reservations about Sam considering he tried to kill Bobby ten days prior. He doesn’t think they should tell him everything either. Dean insists they leave it be. They don’t want the wall to crumble. 

Bobby and Dean are just about to head out on the place case when Sam pops up, ready to join. Bobby bails, leaving Dean and Sam to head out alone. 

Sam does research on the way and they discover that two other young women disappeared in the past week. 

Sam then asks Dean why he didn’t try to live a life “after.” Awkward. Dean admits to living with Lisa and Ben for a year, but, “it didn’t work out.” Cue cranking the music. 

The next day they take a look around the plane -lady’s room. Her friend explains that she was terrified of the plane but was just getting serious with the dude and didn’t want to appear uninterested. Back at the motel, Sam notes that the other missing women were “good girls”, and Dean whips out Penny’s diary with a theory. 

Sam can’t believe that Dean would steal the diary, and Dean is happy that Sam has a moral compass again. Dean reads from the diary: He thinks these women were all virgins. 

Outside a Catholic school, a student walks home alone in the dark. She hears a crackle of leaves and then the wind picks up, and before you know it, she’s on the ground screaming into the camera. 

Sam and Dean are later interviewing Melissa in the hospital. She tells them that something that looked like a giant bat attacked her. She’s got two giant gashes on her back and she’s missing her purity ring. Dean puts it together and wonders if she should have been wearing that ring at all. But let’s look on the bright side, she’s saved because she lied. 

This all leads to the question: “What likes virgins and gold?”

Sam’s research leads him to World of Warcraft websites --and dragons. Dean doesn’t want to dismiss the idea and calls Bobby to get a second opinion. Bobby’s opinion is this: “They’re not like the Loch Ness Monster, Dean. Dragons aren’t real.” He’ll look into it though. 

The brothers continue their research. Bobby calls with a lead: Dr. Visyak, Medieval Studies, SFU. Dean’s heading out, but not before dropping a thousand more nerdy pop culture dragon references --and then calls Sam a nerd before leaving. Gotta love that posturing boy.

Somewhere dank and steamy and cagey, all the missing people struggle to escape. As we watch, a new woman is added to the prison by a gruff, angry man. He melts the cage shut with his hand. 

Dean pulls up outside Dr. Visyak’s home. 

For Excellent Shot Science:

“Bobby Singer sent me” turn out to be the magic words. A beautiful woman opens the door and lets him in. She and Bobby share a History, capital H. Dean asks her about dragons (in the context of 12 sided dice DEAN YOU NERD ILU). Visyak tells him that there aren’t dragons anymore - not for 700 years. To kill a dragon, he needs a blade. 

He needs a blade forged with dragon’s blood and they are SUPER RARE. Fortunately, she happens to have a dragon-forged sword in the basement. She walks him down to meet Brunswick. Her favorite sword is currently embedded in a stone. 

Dean tries to pull the sword from the stone as glorious, crescendoing music fills the scene. He strains, and he makes faces and pratfalls and generally reminds us that Jensen Ackles should be in more comedy. Ultimately, he fails. 

At the motel, Sam methodically works on his CSI wall collage, pinning victim photos to a map. He takes a break from découpage to talk to Bobby. While dragons lair in caves, there are no natural caves nearby. Instead, they locate old subway lines and sewers. Sam deviates from the case to ask Bobby why he’s being so weird. Bobby insists that nOTHinG is wRoNG. 

Sam prays to Cas. “I’m back, so if you got a minute…” Cas flaps in and goes in for a hug. A HUG. a hug.

Sam DENIES the hug. Instead, Sam tells Cas that Bobby filled him in on everything that happened. Cas, bless that sweet clueless angel, takes that at face value and spills everything. He asks Sam how it feels to have his soul back. Sam takes this all VERY WELL, and continues to interrogate Cas for all the details.

Dean heads down to Dr. Visyak’s basement to blow up the rock with some strategically placed explosives. There’s a huge explosion and when they re-enter the basement vault, the rock is cracked perfectly! Dean goes to pull out the sword but…

DEAN. BEAN. 

Sam and Dean head out to the sewer system to find the dragon, broken sword in tow. They’re about to give up when they find a pile of gold. Dean grabs a handful of it like a good PRACTICAL LAD and shoves it into his pocket. They follow the sound of shouting until they locate the imprisoned ladies. The dragon confronts them, Dean claims he got the sword from Comic Con, and fighting ensues. The sword clatters into a grate and Dean’s arm isn’t quiiiite long enough to reach it. Sam can, though! As Dean confronts dragon number two, Sam takes out the dragon threatening Dean. The first dragon escapes in a rush of wind. 

Back at Bobby’s, Dean ecstatically picks through his rescued dragon’s hoard. 

Sam sits down and offers a heartfelt apology for all the shit that went down while he was soulless. WHERPS. They debate whether soulless Sam was actually Sam or...what.

Sam wraps himself up in his guilt blanket and presses Dean for details so he can make amends. They’re interrupted by Bobby who’s dropping a new chunk of lore. The dragons didn’t just leave a pile of gold behind. They also left ancient books with instructions for how to open a doorway to Purgatory. Intercut with this are scenes of the original dragon. He meets up with another shady character and together they force one young woman to a cliff in a cave. They read an incantation and the cave glows. They toss their sacrificial victim into the cave. KABOOM CRASH something emerges from Purgatory. It’s…...pause for dramatic effect…..the mother of all monsters. 

Natasha: It is INSANE to me that there exists not one but two episodes centering on missing “virgins” in this show. INSANE. Also, why does a mother require a “virginal” vessel? SMH derivative storytelling, friends. That said, I enjoy this episode anyway for its comedic moments.

The Quote in the Stone:

Being easy is pretty much all up side

Binding sword to stone used to be all the rage

You rocks think you’re so smart

Who doesn’t love sewers?

 Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

[unrealfigmentofyourimagination]

You're super duper ooooold. Practically ancient. Nicolas Flammel old.

:p

No. Let me live in denial youngling. Kids these days. smh

[therealsaintscully]

Mary and butterflies - the inevitability of death, murderous calling cards and collectors

Some ramblings with links to other people’s excellent meta, in which I suggest that butterflies (and/or moths) symbolize Mary as Moriarty’s reincarnation and or calling card, while also hint at her inevitable death.

Disclaimers: credits are below the cut. I’m not an expert in any of these topics. Thank you, @thewatsonbeekeepers​​ for the beta. In this post I’ll be using moths and butterflies interchangeably, apologies to any entomologists.

Mary’s appearance in the show brings with it new imagery we haven’t seen prior to The Empty Hearse - butterflies. Once Mary’s in the picture, there are butterflies in some very strategic locations, all are either visually or subtextually leading to her. The show has done that previous to season 3; Moriarty is connected to some well established symbols like magpies, apples and IOUs. 

When I first started reading meta I used to think these themes were a bit of a stretch, but I’ve since accepted  that this is a show that puts barely noticeable phoenixes in a restaurant scene that shows us Sherlock rising from his death.

Here are some of the butterflies I spotted so far:

Butterflies (and in the case of this piece of meta, moth) symbolize most commonly resurrection, change and renewal. Behind the symbolism stands the transformation of a small, ungainly creature into something full-grown and unbound. In that case, in the simplest way, one could argue that butterflies were chosen to symbolize her because the ‘Mary Morstan’ persona was a stillborn’s identity that was stolen and used ‘reborn’ to create a new person.

But more than this simplistic idea; butterflies carry multiple symbolisms. When it comes to Sherlock, I and many others tend to look at Victorian symbolism, considering the detective’s Victorian roots. 

I find the appearance of butterflies interesting in Mary’s context, much like I find the skull interesting in Sherlock’s. The skulls, in Sherlock’s case, serve plenty of purposes, but one of them is the idea of memento mori.

Memento mori (Latin for 'remember that you [have to] die') is an artistic or symbolic reminder of the inevitability of death. These are representations that can appear in any form of art such as paintings, literature, poetry etc. It’s a concept that existed in many ancient cultures but is also deeply rooted in early Christianity. It serves to remind people of the inevitable; that even if we choose to ignore it, not think about it, it’s always there lurking, and the purpose is not to scare us but to encourage us to make good use of our time when we’re alive. Memento mori was the philosophy of reflecting on your own death as a form of spiritual improvement, and rejecting earthly vanities.

Victorians were obsessed with the concept (weren’t Victorians obsessed with everything?). They would take photographs of the dead and keep locks of hair of those who died in mourning brooches. It is said that they found these practices comforting. 

Another expression of the ‘remember that you must die’ concept was vanitas art;  vanitas is a symbolic work of art showing the transience of life, the futility of pleasure, and the certainty of death. The Latin noun vanitas (from the Latin adjective vanus 'empty') means 'emptiness', 'futility', or 'worthlessness', the traditional Christian view being that earthly goods and pursuits are transient and worthless. It alludes to Ecclesiastes 1:2; 12:8, where vanitas translates the Hebrew word hevel (הבל), which also includes the concept of transitoriness. 

This concept reminds me, most especially, of the skull used in The Abominable Bride, which is actually Charles Allen Gilbert's 'All is Vanity' Illusion art.

Back to butterflies - butterflies are a staple component of vanitas art - paintings executed in the vanitas style were meant to remind viewers of the transience of life, the futility of pleasure, and the certainty of death. They also provided a moral justification for painting attractive objects - in a way, it’s a justification for the vanity, or the human need of enjoyment of beautiful things.  Below is a vanitas by Jan Sanders van Hemessen:

But butterflies are also considered an omen of death: 

“Butterflies and moths were associated with death, sometimes merely as omens, sometimes as the soul or ghost.” These butterfly omens came in many ways.  For example, in the nineteenth century United States, some people thought that a trio of butterflies was an omen of death.” [x]

Oh.

But I also think there’s more to the butterfly symbolism than Mary’s imminent death; I suggest that, in keeping with @loudest-subtext-in-tv​ M-Theory (suggesting that Mary was planted in John’s life by Moriarty), they symbolize Mary as Moriarty reincarnated following his death in TRF. That Moriarty had indeed not disappointed Sherlock - there was a posthumous game after all! That Sherlock was supposed to understand that while one form of Moriarty died on that roof, another had emerged, continuing the mission of burning Sherlock’s heart. Mary is Moriarty’s calling card, left behind in the crime scene. They’re different, but not separate, which is why Sherlock is so obsessed with Moriarty between HLV-T6T; he’s both wrong and correct at the same time.

So far, what I’ve suggested is that in Sherlock, skulls are Sherlock’s symbolic memento mori - the skulls are associated with Sherlock in some very significant ways. 

However, Mary’s character was doomed from the start - she dies during Sherlock’s hiatus in ACD canon. I believe many fans assumed Sherlock’s Mary expected the same fate when she was introduced to the show. Although the story of Samarra is told by Sherlock, who expects his own death in T6T, Mary is the one who ends up dying. 

Butterflies in ACD canon

Searching for the significance of butterflies in the ACD and BBC canon led me to a number of interesting directions in meta written by others. 

The first and probably the best place to start is this meta post by @tendergingergirl​​, which I strongly suggest you read in full: Butterflies, Sexual Deviancy & The Bloodline Theory in The Hound of The Baskervilles. 

Stapleton also has a hobby. He collects bugs…Butterflies, to be exact. This can often be seen as purely academic, but depending on the actions of the hobbyist, they can indicate more disturbing things. That of holding something vulnerable captive, treating it as your hostage, pinning it down. The torture of animals has come to be a good indicator of someone who would do this to a human. He had already shown callousness by laughing as he recounts to Holmes of ponies wandering onto the Moor, becoming trapped, and dying. In 1974, there was a release of a new edition of Sherlock Holmes stories, with the forward of The Hound of The Baskervilles written by British author, John Fowles. He is responsible for several well-known works, including The French Lieutenant’s Wife. Another, was a novel that Mason finds himself wondering why Fowles doesn’t mention in his introduction, since the villain is such a close parallel to Stapleton.(but as we have learned through the study of ACD, most writers will not come right out and say where they got their inspiration. They like for you to guess!)

A lonely young man, works as a clerk, and collects butterflies, becomes obsessed with a pretty young girl, Miranda, an art student. He chloroforms, and kidnaps her, taking her to his cellar basement, to add Miranda to his collection. That book was called The Collector. But what else does it sound like?

“So yes, I googled. From an article on the release of the movie’s Documentary. "The docu proves a poor reference point for anyone who wants to understand the literary and movie links for “Lambs.” There’s no mention, for example, of how Harris partly based the butterfly-loving Bill on John Fowles’ kidnapper in “The Collector” …And here I thought Mofftiss added allusions to Silence of The Lambs into Sherlock just for fun. SMH.”

@tendergingergirl​ also added this photo to their post:

So what we have here is a chain of metatextualities/inspiration, starting with ACD’s THOB, where Jack Stapelton inspires a book about a disturbed butterfly collector (The Collector by John Fowles), which inspires a the author of Silence of the Lambs in creation of his character Buffalo Bill, a serial murderer who inserts a death's head moth into the victim's throat because he is fascinated by the insect's metamorphosis. Silence of the Lambs served as inspiration for Sherlock  as analyzed by @garkgatiss​ in Bond, Hannibal, and Holmes (I suggest you read the whole Hannibal section) . 

Let’s look again at some imagery from His Last Vow. Mary shoots Sherlock’s heart, essentially burning his heart out, and who does Sherlock meet in his Mind Palace in a very cocoon-like straightjacket? Yes, the dead dude who encourages him to die already (“one more push, and off you pop”).

What’s the next thing we as an audience see once Sherlock opens his eyes? Mary coming to the hospital to hear that Sherlock had, in fact, survived. And what is she wearing? Her butterfly scarf, one which will another appearance later in the episode, during the tarmac scene.

I also find it interesting that in the context of Sherlock and Silence of the Lamb, there’s an element of gender-switching between Moriarty and Mary. Buffalo Bill, the murderer from Silence of the Lambs, skins bodies of women to create himself a woman’s 'suit’; in Sherlock, Moriarty is a man-villain who transforms into a female-villain in the form of a bride and/or Mary. 

By the way, who else is obsessed with his suits?

Also, let’s not forget the worms, maggots and other such crawlers in the grave scene:

Now, let’s go over some of the photos I included in the beginning of this post a bit further.

Mrs. Hudson’s butterfly tea set is first shown in TEH - she uses it to serve John tea when he comes visiting her and tellis her about Mary. We also see it near John’s chair on the day of the wedding. This isn’t Sherlock’s set - his set is different, featuring the British Isles. Moriarty drinks from it in TRF. The next tea set we see, now that Moriarty is dead, is the butterflies one. In TLD, Mrs. Hudson uses Sherlock’s tea set - the butterflies are gone.

Mary’s bedroom wallpaper is very feminine, with flowers and butterflies, both complementing symbols while also very common in vanitas art. Much like Mrs. Hudson’s wallpaper in Baker Street, Mary’s wallpaper is supposed to show the contrast between Mary’s flat/Mary and Sherlock’s flat/Sherlock.

There’s an interesting moth reference in The Empty Hearse, which in my opinion, is Mary & Moriarty related. In short, in a previous piece of meta I wrote, I suggested that the Jack the Ripper case in TEH is subtext alluding to Mary’s skeletons, which Sherlock ignores because he’s upset by his reception by John. And what’s one of the first things Sherlock notices about the skeleton? New mothballs smell, hinting at an attempt to get rid of moth/butterflies - maybe a hint to  the fact that Sherlock has a chance to discover the truth about Mary but misses it. Also, in the context of Mary and the Jack the Ripper case, notice this transition:

Transitions are important on Sherlock - they’re nearly always there to draw our attention.

This, I think, is perhaps the most telling about a possible connection between Mary and Moriarty: we have both magpies (a Moriarty hint) and butterflies together here. This isn’t the only hint of Mary’s past we get in the wedding; there is, after all, the telegram from CAM.

Mary’s scarf is colorful, and it appears by the time Sherlock’s subconscious suspects Mary. Mary’s black butterfly dress - an ominous dress, I’d say - is the one she wears during the labour scene in the car. The third photo is a behind the scenes photo uploaded by Amanda Abbington, although I’m unsure whether this necklace is AA’s or Mary’s (but I couldn’t pass on including this).

Interestingly, the butterflies do not appear in Rosie’s context - either because it’s a telling sign that Mary won’t be with us much longer, or because Rosie is spared being considered a part of the ‘burning Sherlock’s heart’ plan. Sherlock, on the surface, seems to love Rosie and accepts her.

Also, another BTS photograph I came across during my research which I’ve never seen before and ties nicely to the vanity topic is this one (found here):

The Death's-head hawkmoth and ‘Death with Interruptions’

You’ll recall that I referenced The Collector and Silence of the Lambs, both featuring butterflies on their cover art. 

The Silence of the Lambs cover features Acherontia atropos, otherwise known as the death's-head hawkmoth. It gets its name from the sinister-looking skull shape on its back. In many cultures it is thought to be an omen of death. In a bit of another coincidental but stunning piece of symbolism, all three species of the Death's-head hawkmoth are commonly observed raiding beehives of different species of honey bee; A. atropos only invades colonies of the well-known western honey bee, Apis mellifera, and feeds on both nectar and honey. They can move about in hives without being disturbed because they mimic the scent of the bees and are not recognised as intruders.

Anyway, the use of Acherontia atropos reminded me of the book ‘Death with Interruptions’ by Jose Saramago. Interestingly, this is another book about a deathly collector with a butterfly on the cover:

In Death with Interruptions death is a woman, and she falls in love with one of her future victims. She decides to spare his life: Every time death sends him his letter [notifying him of his imminent death], it gets returned. death discovers that, without reason, this man has mistakenly not been killed. Although originally intending merely to analyse this man and discover why he is unique, death eventually becomes infatuated with him, so much so that she takes on human form to meet him. Upon visiting the cellist, she plans to personally give him the letter; instead, she falls in love with him, and, by doing so, she becomes even more human-like.

It’s pretty common to read theories about Mary who maybe was one of the assassins due to kill John both at the pool and in front of Barts. So we have a death harbinger trying to kill someone twice and failing. She then falls in love with him.

But how does the butterfly fit in?

Well, at some point in the story, death (that’s her name, sans a capital d), contemplates that using the death head butterfly, instead of a violet piece of paper, would have sent a much stronger message to those whose death is coming for.

And here’s another last bit of coincidental reference to Sherlock: I’d argue shades of purple, among them shades of violet, are associated with Mary and her secrets. There’s the purple dress she wears in TEH, her bridesmaids’ dresses include various shades of purple (including what I would argue was a violet sash) and let’s not forget:

Oh and, by the way, remember the song Donde Estas, Yolanda from TEH, about a woman called Yolanda? Always thought it was a bit of an odd choice for a song?

Yolanda is a female given name, of Greek origin, meaning Violet.

:)

Thoughts?

Credits: thank you @lukessense​ for directing me to @tendergingergirl​ meta about butterflies. Episode screenshots are from kissthemgoodbye.net.

@sarahthecoat​  @tjlcisthenewsexy​ @devoursjohnlock​ @inevitably-johnlocked​ @shylockgnomes​ @possiblyimbiassed​ @raggedyblue​ @ebaeschnbliah​ @gosherlocked​ @waitedforgarridebs​ @helloliriels​ 

[senaar-ika]

All Sorts of Skills (Kylo Ren)

This fic was requested by @originalposter-96. Due to the sort of AU that I write (Empress!Reader/Kylo) I had to change it up slightly, but I hope you still enjoy it, darling! This is also not super smutty, just a bit of fun really with a hint of teasing at the end!

CW/Tags: ~sexual tension~ and smooching, inappropriate use of galactic titles (you’ll see), canon divergent bc I can, a teensy bit of soft/tired Kylo this man is just worn out from chasing the resistance smh 

Kylo had just returned from a grueling few days tracking a wiley band of Resistance spies across several systems. He was exhausted and frustrated that most of the group had gotten away. As soon as he disembarked from his shuttle you had pulled him into you for a long, deep kiss and then told him to go get cleaned up. Even without a sensitivity to the Force like Kylo, you could sense his chaotic mix of emotions was close to boiling over. 

He had hesitated at first, but you’d given him that firm commanding look that said “Listen to your Empress.” He couldn’t resist your eyes. The power in them. The beauty in them. But perhaps your thinking very hard about how good making love to him tonight would feel helped him along as well. 

Kylo had strode off to your personal quarters to freshen up while you discussed the results of the mission with one of the officers on his ship. Another transport had landed in the middle of your informal debriefing, and you saw a team of troopers lead a Wookie prisoner away. You had thanked the officer sweetly, reminding her not to mention the conversation to your husband. He always worried so much about you knowing the details of his excursions. 

When you returned to your quarters, Kylo was still in the refresher getting cleaned up. You smiled to yourself when you noticed his discarded clothes in a pile of dirty black fabric on the floor next to the bed. It was small childlike things like this that amused you. You stopped smiling when you noticed that his saber was laying amongst all of his clothes. Something must have really shaken him up to be so careless as to leave that just lying on the ground, even if it was in your private quarters.

Gingerly you picked up the saber and set it on the table next to Kylo’s side of the bed. Although the chambers of one of the most feared men in the galaxy were far and away the safest place onboard, he had an old habit of preferring to sleep within arm’s reach of his saber. You couldn’t blame him. 

While waiting for Kylo to finish up in the shower, you ambled into the white walled room in which your husband kept special artifacts. Your shared quarters extended beyond just the bedroom and refresher, and both were incredibly secure. This room, however, was particularly well guarded. Only those closest to the Supreme Leader were permitted entry to deposit items for him to study. 

You frequented the room without question. Kylo knew that your well-traveled eye could be helpful in understanding some of the things he brought back, and as his Empress you were free to go just about anywhere on the ship without consequences. Today it seemed you’d just missed a drop off of the Resistance prisoner’s weapons. 

You didn’t dare touch any of the items laid out on display for fear of altering anything about them. Kylo could read Force imprints held by them and you wouldn’t want to interfere with his process. 

There was a crossbow, a bandolier of ammunition, and a dagger which you were particularly drawn to. The blade was in impeccable condition and inscribed with ancient characters. You leaned down to get a closer look without picking it up, attempting to decipher the archaic text. 

“‘The Emperor’s . . . Wayfinder? Is in the - the imperial vault?’” You didn’t even realize you were whispering the words under your breath as you read them slowly, “‘At delta 3-6, transient 9-3-6 … darling where did you get this?” The coordinates meant nothing to you really, just numbers, so you called out to your husband. The shower had stopped a few moments ago. 

When you heard no response you straightened up and turned around to see Kylo standing just inside the door staring at you with some combination of dumbfoundment and curiosity. His brow was knitted and his mouth slightly agape. His freshly washed hair clung to his head and he seemed to be clutching at the towel around his waist for dear life. 

“You can read the blade?” He closed the distance between you in two fast steps, his voice barely audible. The scent of his soap, of him, so close to you brought butterflies to your stomach. 

You nodded, turning your attention back to the dagger. “Yes, it’s absolutely ancient, but I think I can make it out I just don’t understa -” 

“That’s the language of the Sith.” Kylo cut you off, something he rarely did since the two of you were joined together. His eyes darted between you and the blade, unable to settle on either. 

“Yes, I know.” You sighed, trying to resist rolling your eyes, “I never thought to tell -”

“Who have you been spending time with that speaks Sith?” Kylo’s tone almost sounded hurt, and he kept searching your face with that expression of simultaneous concern and bewilderment. You bit back a laugh, but you couldn’t help but smile at him. His big brown eyes were so focused on you, so serious. 

“I had a life before you, darling, and it was a strange one. You know that.” You gently placed a hand on his cheek as if to steady him. “I’ve picked up all sorts of skills over the years.” 

He didn’t relax much, but brought one of his enormous hands up to rest over the one with which you were cradling his head. “I studied all kinds of paths over the years.” You said quietly, thinking back to your odd upbringing in the Outer Rim. “The Jedi, the Sith, it’s all part of the larger history of the galaxy that I was raised on.” 

Kylo nodded slowly, turned his face into your hand, and pressed a light kiss to your palm. You smiled, leaning up so that you were right in his ear. 

“And language skills aren’t the only tricks I’ve picked up in my time, you know?” You felt your husband’s back straighten and your grin widened. Then you thought very hard about a particular acrobatic move you’d learned during a bizarre stint you spent on Dathomir. The move involved an incredibly suggestive contortion of your hips and legs, and your memory included the lucky warrior who’d taught it to you. 

Kylo’s mood snapped from soft to lustful in an instant. His hands dropped to your hips and pulled you flush with his body. You gave him a wry grin, knowing that your eyes must be glinting with that mischief he secretly adored. His head dropped down to your shoulder. 

“You enjoy the intimate company of Darkside masters, my Empress?” He growled, nipping at your earlobe. You chuckled, low and sultry, running your hands up his back and tangling them in his damp hair. 

“Perhaps,” You breathed, gasping a bit when Kylo began kissing along your jaw and down your neck. “Though nowadays, I mostly prefer the intimate company of you, Supreme Leader.” Using your honorific titles always got the two of you more impassioned, and Kylo practically keened when you hissed out his superlative. 

His lips left your neck and crushed into your own as he swept you up into a bridal carry. The doors to the artifact room whooshed shut once you passed through them and the lock sealed with a clank. Kylo tossed you onto the bed and you landed softly on your back. For a moment he just stood above you, looking down at you all sprawled out for him.

“Now, your excellency,” you made sure to accentuate the title, “what would you like me to do?” 

A devilish smile bloomed across Kylo’s face as he let the towel fall from around his waist. “Well, my sweet, I would love to see some of these skills you’ve been bragging about acquiring.” 

[noshitshakespeare]

Bro to that Shakespeare is an idiot anon, like i dont think Shakespeare was aiming for historical accuracy when he wrote his historical plays... they're just like a entertaining story that is rooted in references that people might know. Like isn't Richard III aimed to be like insulting the plantagents (however u spell it) for tudor rulers? How was Shakespeare even meant to get info on ancient people like Cleo? Most writing we have on her from the time is biased, and not entirely accurate. Smh

(Anon is referencing this post)

Historical accuracy is an interesting question. The concept of history as an unbiased account of what happened in the past didn’t exist in Shakespeare’s time (at least not in the same way it does now, if it does now), so in some ways, it’s not really relevant even to think about it in those terms. There were histories, and people did trust them as relating in some way to truth, but it was common practice for such histories to full-on invent a general’s military speech supposedly given before a battle as so on. In other words, you find fictional speeches like the St Crispin’s Day speech in supposedly historical accounts from the time. 

Sir Philip Sidney’s Defense of Poesy is great for early modern ideas about this because he’s so aware of the limitations of historical accounts in his time. As he says, ‘even historiographers, although their lips sound of things done, and verity be written in their foreheads, have been glad to borrow both fashion and perchance weight of the poets’. People like him were aware that histories were already literary in some ways. He also knows that however much they try, the historian can never really truly recreate the past in complete accuracy: 

Now for the poet, he nothing affirms, and therefore never lies. For, as I take it, to lie is to affirm that to be true which is false; so as the other artists, and especially the historian, affirming many things, can, in the cloudy knowledge of mankind,

Sidney is defending poetry and drama by saying that they never claimed to be accurate history, and therefore can’t be blamed for inaccuracy or accused of lying. In contrast, the historian, in claiming certain things as true while not actually knowing, could sometimes end up claiming something false. So insightful people from Shakespeare’s time like Sidney knew perfectly well that historical accounts they had were not necessarily accurate. In fact he goes as far as to say, at one point, that historians are ‘loaded with old mouse-eaten records, authorizing himself for the most part upon other histories, whose greatest authorities are built upon the notable foundation of hearsay’. Histories are written based on other histories, which are based on rumours. 

Sidney is great on the question of entertainment too, asking of the fiction-haters,

do they not know that a tragedy is tied to the laws of poesy, and not of history; not bound to follow the story, but having liberty either to feign a quite new matter, or to frame the history to the most tragical convenience?

Poets (this includes playwrights, by the way, since that word didn’t exist until Ben Jonson coined it), unsurprisingly, have poetic license and the right to change things as fits what they’re writing. The fact that Sidney is defending this does point to the fact that the opponents of theatre and poetry did raise inaccuracy as a reason to disparage the arts, but I think his defence is spot-on. There’s simply no need for writers to aim for historical accuracy.

Of course, Shakespeare did have some sources for his histories (see this post for example) and Roman plays (mostly North’s translation of Plutarch's The Lives of the Noble Grecians and Romans). And they were about as accurate as anything anyone could get their hands on at the time. I would go as far as to say that in many instances, Shakespeare stays very true to his sources, so his so-called ‘errors’ are not even always attributable to him. 

On the question of Richard III, though... Even if there is a propagandist element to it, I tend to feel that reading the play simply on those terms is very reductive. It’s hard to know how much the anti-Plantagenet ideology is something Shakespeare picked up from his sources (Shakespeare’s sources were pretty propagandist). Also, if he wanted to present Richard as a straightforward villain, Shakespeare didn’t need to make him so engaging, charismatic and brave (he does choose to show the last king of England ever to have died in battle doing exactly that). Looking at Shakespeare’s sources doesn’t just reveal what he keeps, but what he chooses to emphasise or change, and that gives us more of a sense of what interests him thematically, taking us beyond questions of accuracy and political conformity.

[elizabeatrice]

Mystery Spot (Chapter 68)

Let’s Talk About JSHK Manga #4

If you get the title reference, I applaud you.

Warning: 1) !!! MANGA SPOILERS UP TO CHAPTER 68 !!! Duh.

2) I dropped a couple of f bombs and several curses here ... I really ranted lmao.

3) This reaction/review is closer to me spewing wild theories rather than an actual review. But these wild theories are my reactions. So. Ehhh these theories are probably wrong anyway. Lemme have my dark, twisted fun, mkay? Not sure if they’re entirely coherent though.

Had trouble copying some kanji this time around ‘cause they’re so freaking blurry! So I got too lazy to write this yesterday haha. Thank you Ropes of Fate for the translation! Truly commendable heroes of the fandom *sobs*. I also used three panels from Chapter 61, translated by Caim.

Let’s jump into it (ba dum tss).

This chapter is a bit shorter than usual and boy do you feel it. Well. At least I do. But I really hope sensei are taking some time to relax. Last chapter was 45 pages, after all. Y’all deserve it you wonderful creators.

First of all I would like to dedicate the biggest f bomb for the villagers because what the fuck. Why the fuck would you sacrifice poor, innocent young girls just to keep yourself safe? And it’s not even a sacrifice to kami-sama! Y’all just droppin’ these girls to be eaten by supernaturals! And y’all practically manipulated them smh.

Are y’all insane?! Y’all could’ve just moved the fuck out. What kind of insane people just decide to stay near a literal pit of hell? Don’t give me the ‘we’ve lived here for generations’ bs okay ‘cause y’all neighbors be getting eaten by supernaturals but y’all rather trade innocent young girls for your own safety. If Berkians and Asgardians can suck it up and be the bigger nation with all that ‘Berk/Asgard is not a place it’s the people’ shit, y’all can too.

I’ve disliked characters in JSHK before. But I’ve never hated JSHK characters before. Until now. Y’all fucking did it, dumbass villagers.

Ahem. Pardon me.

Because my brain is a literal self-debate machine let me just say that I did consider several possibilities in these ‘people’’s defense. There’s the obvious ‘some people back then didn’t know any better and believe a human sacrifice will solve everything’ mindset. Then there’s the possibility of them being trapped in their village for some reason, hence not having any other choice but to sacrifice those girls.

But y’know what else could be the case? ‘Cause my mind really went dark there for a bit.

The Minamoto clan let it happen.

In the last chapter it was mentioned that the Minamoto clan was involved. And this is a bit shocking now that I think about it more ‘cause Teru has always been adamant that all supernaturals are evil and must be exorcised, humans must be protected.

But what if they just let the villagers sacrifice these girls so that the monsters can be contained in this village, in that pit, instead of running amok to other places and cause more trouble?

Which makes me wonder.

Uh. Where did Teru go to? Does he know about this? Did he go to that pit (or that village, if Kamome Academy wasn’t built on its land)?

If he does know, isn’t he interested in saving a fellow human student and underclassman? If he does know about the Akane clan, isn’t he interested in telling his VP, who’s obsessed with an Akane? Unless ... you know ... he meant for this to happen, which I kinda doubt.

He must know something about this. He went out of his way to make Akane promise to protect Kou if something were to happen. What’s more dangerous than the Grim Reaper showing up looking for a sacrifice who turned out to be Kou’s beloved senpai’s best friend? What if Akane had to choose between Aoi and Kou at some point?

Okie next I wanna talk about Hanako. This is gonna sound just as far fetched as the previous bit lmao but here goes.

Boiiii y’all saw it. The pause before his answer. His face drawn out of view, in an evasive body language.

(Hanako my boy pls do us all a favor and stop lying to your girlfriend, we all know how well that turned out in Picture Perfect lmao)

Theory. He knew what’s been going on all along. Or at least the gist of it.

Remember this?

Imma take a detour a lil bit.

The Far Shore/torii gate refused Nene in chapter 67, right? In my Chapter 67 reaction I said it was the bracelet that saved her but now I think the bracelet probably disguised her as Sumire in the villagers’ eyes. So the Far Shore/torii gate refused her, and we all thought it was because she wasn’t an Akane.

But then we found out that Hanako was right about the village. It was just a ‘made up world’ inside Shinigami’s boundary. It’s just a reenactment of the day Sumire died, probably based on Shinigami’s memories, as the first page of Chapter 64 said.

So of course Nene was refused. Because in his memories, Sumire was the one who fell into the pit that day.

Sumire also said in this chapter’s narration that the villagers sacrificed young girls. Not Akane girls. Also, before the sacrifices began, the monsters already ate villagers anyway, right? They didn’t only eat young girls. It wasn’t said as such. The villagers probably just chose young girls because that’s sorta like the equivalent of offering the best meat or smth. Practically a please accept our humble offering of tenderloin wagyu, O Horrible Monsters.

The coveted bloodline thing was probably a plus, not obligatory. Often in stories, people with high ‘spiritual energy’ are supposed to taste more delicious and grant whoever eats their meat special powers or smth (e.g. Tang Sanzang from Journey to the West). Also ancient cultures sacrifice young girls often, that was the trend.

And they proceeded to try to sacrifice Nene anyway, despite her not being an Akane. They said it themselves. “It doesn’t matter if it’s that girl.”

So according to the (rather vague) information we have, it’s possible that the sacrifice doesn’t have to be an Akane or a girl.

Some of y’all have been theorizing that the Yugi twins got involved with supernaturals, and that sorta lead to their death.

What if this is it?

I myself am not sure how it went down if this is really the case. But I keep imagining our boy’s infamous ‘I’m not going anywhere’ being said by Sumire because bruh she’s the epitome of not going anywhere. She was chosen to be sacrificed since she was a child, not given a choice. Even after she died and became a yorishiro, she was imprisoned in this time prison world or whatever, reliving her death every single day with no escape.

And I couldn’t help but think ‘hoooo shit what if???’

I mean. I don’t know who was the chosen sacrifice. Could be Tsukasa, could be Amane. Maybe he killed his brother so that he wouldn’t get sacrificed, and decided that he’ll die along with his brother. I’m not going anywhere. Maybe it also means I’m not letting you send my brother to be eaten by monsters, and since we can’t escape either, we’re staying here no matter what.

And if the Minamotos were really in on it, it makes sense for Grandma Minamoto to accuse Amane of being an evil murderer. He practically got in the way ‘of other people’s safety’ by killing the chosen sacrifice.

banjjakz also said something about the possibility of Tsukasa being a previous sacrifice. Read about it here and here. It’s pretty interesting!

Besides, a wonder whose precious person got sacrificed and later became their yorishiro? That’d be some parallel, haha.

Sure, Sumire said ‘if the kannagi was switched’. But the early narration didn’t mention a sacrifice of kannagi. Just ‘young girls’.

Look just lemme have this, alright?

Oh. Also I wanted to point out the possible tension/trust issues between Hanako and Nene but many other blogs have pointed it out quite well so I’m just gonna stick with my wild theories.

But I will address what Nene said about the pit.

Where is said pit anyway? In Kamome? Why is it open? Is it Tsukasa changing rumors and allowing more supernaturals to cross back to the Near shore? More likely. I mean, he does grant wishes for supernaturals after all.

Oh. Speaking of Nene. Let’s give her a round of applause for her character development. She’s become of better judgement regarding men’s terrible behavior. Wow. That’s my girl. I mean, we still don’t know much about Shinigami, but from what I’ve seen so far, Sumire guuuurrrrllllll you deserve better.

Regardless of my ships, these supernatural boys should take notes from my precious Kou and how he loves so selflessly. Lmao. Remember that one post-chapter panels in Picture Perfect where he said he’ll find Nene a prince in the real world, even though he likes her? Broooo I want ten of this precious boy.

Lastly, Akane and Aoi.

Where are they? They look like they’re stranded in some wild boundary somewhere, the one with half sunken houses and lost things that usually appear in color spreads. I am so hyped, ‘cause I love the aesthetics, and I wanna see more of this place.

Oh. And Akane’s alive. Phew. I gotta be honest though, I kinda looked forward to his death. Not because I hate the kiddo. He’s technically still human, right. I’m just wondering whether his death or Aoi’s would cause Teru to outright declare war against the Seven Wonders because aren’t these folks supposed to protect students like they claim to be? (This, of course, ignores my previous theories about the Minamoto clan)

Basically I just wanna see some shit go down with Teru mkay ‘cause this powerful dude has been useless for quite too long now.

Aoi’s still pretty confusing, too. She went from this weird expression:

to this:

She kinda looked like she was still under the influence of the drug thingy. But she was also concerned about Akane, even though it’s not like how she worried about Nene in the past. And she knew Akane longer than her, they practically grew up together. Real Aoi would be in tears seeing his condition, y’all. So I guess the drug thingy’s effect is slowly wearing out.

Closing! JSHK is dark but usually not in ways my brain expects it to be. (And a lot of times I still get surprised with the amount of comedy it has lmao.) Sooo sensei are probably gonna prove me wrong about most of these, anyway. Haha.

As always feel free to discuss.

[eemapso]

Hey everybody~! I figured that while im at it, id upload and properly introduce some my babies on here ^^ (eventually i’ll get around to a c t u a l l y uploading the full pages too smh)

So yeah! Here’s a partial character roster from our story “Rampid”~!

Yukiko Tanimoto

A girl who’s emotions were sealed away from her at a very young age. Now, many years later, she regains her ability to use them. Not only that, she’s now able to speak the very personification of the human emotions! With their help, she aims to one day be a friend and a hero to anyone who may need one. Along the way, she has to relearn the “proper” social context in which certain emotions can shine through.

She can be a bit spastic and erratic behavior wise as she’s trying to relearn when and where to use her emotions.

Angela

An angel who has been around since the beginning of time. She loves humans and wishes for them to be at peace and happy as they live on the mortal plane. But of course, with influence from the underworld humans are in danger 24/7. As a result, she has the personified human emotions to help defeat the attackers from the underworld. 

She is very quiet and calm and most of her words are passed through her halo, Calum. One of her favorite pass times is kicking back and playing a song on her little lyre harp.

Chaviva

The personification of the human emotion Love. A passionate fellow who likes long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, and practicing his archery skills. He loves everyone around him and has a tendency to jump through hoops for his friends. In his spare time he tries to rekindle his relationship with his estranged lover.

Adrina

The personification of the human emotion happiness. A hyperactive little ball of pure giddy energy. Adrina wants to spread happiness to everyone so that they can all give the most beautiful smiles. She likes to train her Giant Mallet abilities with her own makeshift “whack a mole” course.

Venin

The personification of the human emotion anger. A flaming slab of angry angry beef. When he’s not exercising his lungs he’s literally destroying his exercise equipment. He’s here to pump you up or kill you trying. Those shackles on his arms are for your protection.  Trust me.

Namida

The personification of the human emotion sadness. The saddest little water drop you’ll ever see. She tends to stick loom around like a rain cloud. Any attempt to get her to cheer up will more than likely lead to more tears. But attempts are always welcome. One of her favorite pass times is drinking straight out of multiple bottles of liquor (of which she has a v e r y high tolerance.)

Rita

The personification of the human emotion bravery. She’s tall, She’s strong, and boy does she love to tell you stories. She enjoys recounting tales of how heros of the past with her emotions went on to do the most heroic things. Earning their place as legends among the stars. When she’s not doing this she’s leading the charges for the other emotions against the enemies from the underworld. Sword in hand she aims to take the offensive rather than the defensive.

Folvos

The personification of the human emotion fear. You’re more likely to find this little guy huddled in a corner hidden behind his magic spell book. Dont approach him too quickly or you may find yourself being picked up by invisible ancient hands and tossed across the room. He wont mean it of course, its only reflex.

Thats just a general overview of the really main main characters. I’ve still got plenty to show off in the future, but for now, if you have any questions please dont hesitate to ask~ I love telling people about my kids ^^

[cat-brodsky]

The Secret History: Abridged (part 1)

Fair use disclaimer: The following text is intended as a parody and literary commentary of the published book “The Secret History” by Donna Tartt. Some direct quotations from the book, constituting a very low percentage of the original, have been integrated in the parodic text where appropriate. The author of this text neither profits nor intends to profit from it.

Dramatis personae

Richard Papen, the narrator, a perpetually starry-eyed youth with all the agency of the proverbial sexy lamp

Julian Morrow (played by King Julian of Madagaskar), a Greek professor who doesn’t actually teach

         The Toffs, as viewed through Richard’s rose-tinted glasses:

Henry Winter, a young genius, deeply devoted to Julian

Bunny Corcoran, an uncouth older student with a heart of gold deep inside

Francis Abernathy, a refined yet sensitive youth

Charles Macaulay, a young man who sometimes has a bit too much to drink

Camilla Macaulay, an exquisite beauty, the only girl in the clique

Judy Poovey, the only character in the book with both brains and heart

Georges “I told you so” Laforgue

the greek chorus (played by a person in a floral bedsheet toga with two sockpuppets)

The Fans, seated in the front row of the audience

The farmer, brutally murdered by four rich kids on a drug trip

     Chapter 1, in which Richard joins a cult (and the greek chorus monologues)

Richard: My name is Richard Pipen and I like pretty things. Maybe that’s cause my childhood was real poor and real awful.

Richard: I even picked Hampden College cause it looked pretty in the recruitment brochure. I have no friends, I failed pre-med, and the only thing I’m okay at is Greek language. …Guess I’ll take Greek.

Georges (the French teacher): Monsieur, I’m afraid zat will be a problem. You see, ze Greek teacher is incredibly… selective about his students. And by selective, I mean on a personal level.

Richard: oh, so he’s gay.

Georges: Non! He isolates his students, he grooms them to have ze same views as himself, and ze only reason ze school puts up with him is because he refuses his salary!

Richard: I dunno, my dad beat me before and after dinner, so this sounds perfectly healthy to me. Guess I’ll go knock on his door.

    Richard: knocks on Julian’s door …Please let me study Greek.

Julian: Why, that’s rather quaint of you, young man, but I’m afraid my class is filled to the brim. Only got space for five people, you see. Very rigorous, that. Anyway, excuse me, I have a princess to tutor. Istrami royalty, though I don’t assume you would know. pauper

Richard: But-

door slam

    Henry and the Four Toffs: stroll the campus, looking pretty

Richard: drools

But I watched them with interest whenever I happened to see them: Francis, stooping to talk to a cat on a doorstep; Henry dashing past at the wheel of a little white car, with Julian in the passenger’s seat; Bunny leaning out of an upstairs window to yell something at the twins on the lawn below. Slowly, more information came my way. Francis Abernathy was from Boston and, from most accounts, quite wealthy. Henry, too, was said to be wealthy; what’s more, he was a linguistic genius. He spoke a number of languages, ancient and modern, and had published a translation of Anacreon, with commentary, when he was only eighteen. The twins had an apartment off campus, and were from somewhere down south. And Bunny Corcoran had a habit of playing John Philip Sousa march tunes in his room, at full volume, late at night.

Not to imply that I was overly preoccupied with any of this.

the greek chorus: yeah riiight

Richard: totally not eavesdropping on The Four Toffs studying Greek

Bunny: Ablative!

Charles: That’s Latin, you dumb-

Richard: Excuse me? I’m sorry, but would the locative case do?

Bunny: Thanks, man, you helped a lot. Wish you were in our class.

awkward silence

Henry, appearing out of nowhere: Ah, yes, the archaic locative. Are you a Homeric scholar?

Richard: …I like Homer.

Henry: Oh, you “like” Homer? Name all the 1,186 ships in the Catalogue.

Henry: fake fans smh

    Richard: All my life, I’ve dealt with poor jerks, so dealing with rich jerks sounded way more appealing. I figured I’d do what worked with my old man - lie my ass off. Excuse me, Dr. Roland, I need uh two hundred dollars from my financial aid? It’s for my uh car, it’s the uh transmission.

the greek chorus: that’s 548 dollars in 2020 money. also, is everyone in this book named after a historical figure?

Richard: knocks on Julian’s door again, having bought one hundred [274] dollars’ worth of expensive clothes

Julian: Oh my, and to think I mistook you for a peasant the first time. Come in, young man - any relation to French kings? Are you from California? What do you do in California?

Richard: Oh, you know… money, orange groves, money, ennui and more money - wow, he’s actually buying it.

Julian: Even Plato knew that class and conditioning and so forth have an inalterable effect on the individual. cough that’s why I only tutor rich and classy students. cough I’m afraid my students are never very interesting to me because I always know exactly what they’re going to do.

the greek chorus: fly, you fool

Richard: listens with stars in his eyes

Julian: Young man, I will take you on as a student, but you must take me on as your academic counselor, drop all your classes and pick up the ones I tell you to. Most of them are going to be with me - you know, a great diversity of teachers is harmful for the young mind.

Richard: Oh wow, that sounds elite and exclusive and totally not like a weird cult.

    Georges “The Voice of Reason” Laforgue: Mon Dieu, are you serious? Do you understand how isolated you’ll be from ze rest of ze college? What if you have a disagreement? What if he is unfair to you? And this man is so elitist - why, that’s ze first time he’s accepted a student on financial aid! …Does he know you’re on financial aid?

Richard: I’m not gonna tell him.

the greek chorus: annnd he switches majors

    Francis: Cubitum eamus?

Richard: what? who?

the greek chorus: did he just say “Wanna fu-”

The Fans: oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohh!

Bunny: Get a load of this guy. Henry actually bought himself a Montblanc pen just cause Julian loves them. And he used to say they were ugly. What was it, three hundred [822] bucks?

Henry: You “studied” Greek? Recite every single Greek poem.

Henry: fake fans smh. Now I’ll speak Latin and flex on you some more.

Bunny: Don’t be a prick, Henry.

Julian, coming in fashionably late:

He was a marvelous talker, a magical talker, and I wish I were able to give a better idea what he said, but it is impossible for a mediocre intellect to render the speech of a superior one – especially after so many years – without losing a good deal in the translation.

the greek chorus: do you know what it means when someone talks big and beautiful and yet you can’t remember the talking points? means they’re talking nonsense

Julian: Though after all your Xenophon and Thucydides I dare say there are not many young people better versed in military tactics. Because, as you know, ancient Greek battle tactics are still valid in our modern age! Do you feel sufficiently special and superior, my lab m- lovely students?

Henry: The six of us could conquer Hampden town!

the greek chorus: this is new england, you’d get shot like deer

Richard, stars in his eyes: Awwwww he said six of us!

Camilla: recites from Aganemnnon

How quiet he sinks now - his soul starts from his mouth:

with one jerked gulp he brings up his own blood,

spatters me dark with the scarlet dew in his breath.

And that dew falls on me as the gods’ spring rains

fall and bless harvest back to the long-parched earth.

Julian: Now, why is this so beautiful?

the greek chorus: cause there’s no mention of the dying king voiding his bowels

Francis: It’s the meter - iambic pentameter.

The Greek Chorus: In a way, the discussion that follows is some pretty hefty foreshadowing. The subject is horrible - a dying man gurgling, choking on blood, spits it out all over his killer - but the way it’s described is poetic and makes the reader enamored with the act of murder.

This is exactly what Tartt does later on.

Five rich, entitled young people have a drug-fueled orgy, trespass, and beat an innocent farmer to death. But call an orgy a bacchanal, and it’s suddenly classy and beautiful.

Henry: Death is the mother of beauty.

The Fans: oooooooooooohhh!

Julian: And what is beauty?

Henry: Terror.

The Fans: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!

the greek chorus: this toxic belief is so not gonna backfire

“Are we, in this room, really very different from the Greeks or the Romans? Obsessed with duty, piety, loyalty, sacrifice? All those things which are to modern tastes so chilling?”

I looked around the table at the six faces. To modern tastes they were somewhat chilling. I imagine any other teacher would’ve been on the phone to Psychological Counseling in about five minutes had he heard what Henry said about arming the Greek class and marching into Hampden town.

the greek chorus: richard, you idiot sandwich

Julian: The Romans’ genius and fatal flaw was their obsession with order! The Greeks knew not to deny the irrational! This is why Romans, usually so tolerant of foreign religions, persecuted the Christians mercilessly – how absurd to think a common criminal had risen from the dead, how appalling that his followers celebrated him by drinking his blood. The illogic of it frightened them-

The Greek Chorus: The Romans valued loyalty to the state, which meant practicing the state religion. Local beliefs were okay as long as they didn’t contradict that.

Christians placed their god, monotheistic God, above the emperor. The First Commandment forbids the worship of other gods, and this includes refusing to take part in feasts, to offer incense to the emperor - this was disloyalty to the Empire. Judaism, it seems, got a pass on the same because of the ancient origin of the religion.

Furthermore, the persecution of Christianity was sporadic until Decius’ decree mandating participation in public sacrifices, and even then this edict was not universally obeyed - the Empire was far too large and too diverse. Not to mention, a lot of the accounts of persecution and martyrdom were invented by Christian historians.

Julian is full of it, and a five minute Google search can tell you as much.

Richard: wow, #deep

Julian: …And that’s why Bacchanals are good fun for the whole family!

    Chapter 2, in which Bunny invites Richard to dinner (and then nothing happens)

Judy: So you’re hanging out with those posh guys now?

Richard: What if I am

Judy: I don’t know, they’re bad news. Like, I was at a party, everyone was slam dancing, and this girl was walking across the dance floor for some reason and got mad when I slammed into her. And like I threw a beer at her, it was that kind of night, and this Henry guy and her brother Charles came to yell at me? And my friend Spike saw that and came to defend me, and then Henry and Charles beat Spike to a pulp. Those people are crazy.

Richard, stars in his eyes: Gee whiz, Henry is badass.

Judy: Aren’t you hot in this tweed jacket? Like, here, you can have another one for free if you like it.

    Bunny: Nice jacket, dude

Richard: Thanks, it’s a family relic

Bunny: Anyway, why are there so many [slur omitted] working in restaurants? Oh man, I remember when we pulled a dine and dash here, all in good fun, and then Dad took us here for drinks and it’s a good thing he was so soused he didn’t notice the waiter putting it all on his bill.

the greek chorus: boy, it sure is a good thing the cops don’t get called on rich people

Bunny: And Henry’s so damn smart, you know? He was in a bad car accident, had to stay in bed reading all those old books, and now he’s really into it and he speaks seven to eight languages, even reads them hieroglyphics.

Richard: well, Bunny’s kind of an ass but he’s not an ass to me, sounds good

Bunny: Whoops, forgot my wallet.

Richard: …never mind

the greek chorus: the bill is, quote, two hundred and eighty-seven dollars and fifty-nine cents [786 dollars]. without the tip. twenty percent more is about tree fiddy [950 dollars]

Bunny: …I’ll call Henry. He’ll be chuffed to bail us out.

Henry: is not chuffed Bunny freeloads off people all the time.

Richard: wow that’s… imagine doing that haha

    Richard: totally not eavesdropping again

Henry: Should I do what is necessary?

Julian: You should only, ever, do what is necessary.

the greek chorus: this will definitely not be taken at face value

    if richard had a tweeter

“Reading The Great Gatsby. #relatable #billionaire-life”

“Attended a party, mingled with the hoi polloi. Plebs. How I long to be elsewhere.”

    Camilla: Come to the country house with us

Richard: totally not freeloading

    if the secret history was a movie

Happy times montage. Classical music plays over the country house; it is revealed that Charles, quite drunk but still composed, is playing the piano. Henry and Camilla are in a rowboat together, with Henry monologuing, unheard to the viewers, as she listens with rapt wonder. Bunny is pouring champaigne from a teapot. Occasional moments of foreshadowing in between the happy times - a pot of laurel leaves boiling on the stove, Richard wandering the house in the middle of the night and finding that everyone is gone - and back to happy times, playing cricket, fancy dinners with Julian. Everything looks pretty, classy, and expensive.

    Chapter 3, in which Richard is more an idiot than usual

The Five Toffs: leave for the winter holidays

Richard: I need a place to stay. Henry’s place is empty, I could ask my other friends to sublet to me, or split the bills with somebody… Nah, there’s this hippie who lets you live for free in his warehouse. I’m in.

The warehouse: literally has a hole in the roof

The Hippie: It’s all a metaphor, man. The situation is obviously dysfunctional, but Richie boy just assumes that it’s normal and he’s gonna be fine. Deep, man.

Richard: I’m sure I’ll be fine. gets pneumonia

Henry: Good thing I came back early, or you’d be dead.

Richard: Y-you saved my life, man. …Can you please bring me a mag to read?

Henry: …You must be raving. Here, I brought you a Pharmacology Update from the lounge.

    Bunny: comes back

Henry: is avoiding him

the greek chorus: that’s all, really

    Chapter 4, in which something finally happens

Bunny: Richard, man, Henry is not who he pretends to be. Be careful.

Richard: You mean, he’s gay? That can’t be right. My gaydar says it’s Francis; Henry’s straight. And I’m not gay, but if I was, Bunny wouldn’t be attractive. I mean, he’s handsome, but he’s rough trade, you know what I mean. Not my type.

    Richard: Oh no, I left my book in Henry’s apartment. I’ll have to find it there. …Weird, why does he have a flight to Argentina reserved? And why were the four of them, minus Bunny, absent from classes?

cheesecake in the fridge: please don’t steal me, I’m on financial aid

Bunny: Mm, too lemony but tastes better flavored with tears.

Richard: Haha, screw the poor

Bunny: Man, Henry’s a bit of a Jew. I like him tho.

    Bunny: keeps making weird crime-and-punishment jokes before class

Richard: Good old Bunny, such a jester.

The Toffs: tell a weirdly rehearsed story about their absence

Julian: notices absolutely nothing

    Henry: Don’t you want to know about our trip to Argentina? By which I mean, I know you snooped.

Richard: Man, why the secrecy? It’s not like you murdered someone.

Henry: Yeah, about that...

flashback time

Henry: The four of us must flee to Argentina. But there’s no way I can get my hands on more than thirty thousand [80,418 dollars]. Francis, you have a trust, right?

Francis: Yeah, I can withdraw one hundred and fifty thousand [402,090] a year. ...Bad news, my mum cleared it out.

The Toffs, in unison: What? Do you mean we’d have to live like the poor? Or worse, resort to menial labor? That is inconceivable.

the greek chorus: and they didn’t go to argentina.

Henry: We had but a meager five thousand [13,403 dollars] between us. Anyway, why did you cover up for us?

Richard:

Henry: So yeah we decided to take drugs, party, and fornicate, like everybody else in this college does. Except we’re rich and smart and we’re calling it a bacchanal, because it’s classier that way.

Henry: Julian knew and approved, by the way, but you’re not gonna learn this until chapter five.

Henry: And Bunny just wasn’t taking our posh rave seriously. I caught him eating when he was supposed to be fasting. Barbarian.

Henry: Anyway, when we all came down from our trip, we were drenched in blood and there was a corpse of a middle-aged middle-class man with his neck broken and his brains splattered and a huge gash in his stomach. And worse, he was wearing an ugly plaid shirt.

Henry: I haven’t been so upset since I hit a deer with my car. Oh, hi, Francis.

    Chapter 5, in which we forget about the farmer

Francis: oh no did you just tell him

Henry: Oh yes I did.

Richard, still starry-eyed: Why didn’t you call the police?

Henry: Yeah, right. We’re too rich to be judged by poor people.

Francis: It was just an accident, a little harmless fun.

Henry: Imagine being tried for my life by a Vermont circuit-court judge and a jury box full of telephone operators.

Francis: They’d just say that we are a bunch of rich entitled kids who got high and trespassed on private land and tore an innocent man to pieces.

the greek chorus: THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID

Henry: If Bunny snitches, we’re dragging him in too. He has no alibi. Can’t prove he wasn’t with us. He saw us dressed in bedsheets and covered in gore and got upset for no reason at all. Dropped a pint of ice-cream on my antique rug. Honestly, that was the last straw.

Henry: I paid for our trip together in Italy to shut him up, but then he found my diary - in which I happened to write a poem about our Bacchanal in iambic pentameter. I didn’t think the rube could even read. I slapped him rather hard, and he took offense to that. And now we have no choice but keep letting him mooch off us!

Francis: It's a terrible thing, what we did. I mean, this man was not Voltaire we killed. But still. It's a shame. I feel bad about it.

Henry: But not bad enough to want to go to jail for it.

Francis: snorts No, not that bad.

Henry: So... wanna play cards?

    the greek chorus: here comes a turning point in the story. will richard do the moral thing, will he turn his friends in?

the greek chorus: yeah, right

    The Toffs: Time for a road trip!

Richard: It’s odd how little power the dead farmer exercised over an imagination as morbid and hysterical as my own. Oh well, nobody cares about poor people.

Julian: In America, the rich man tries to pretend that the poor man is his equal in every respect but money, which is simply not true. A poor man who wishes to rise above his station is only making himself needlessly miserable. And the wise poor have always known this, the same as do the wise rich.

Bunny: You don't care about a goddamn thing, do you? Not a thing but your own self, you and all the rest of them!

the greek chorus: edmund corcoran, the bigot, the idiot of the group - the only one who cares about the murder

  Richard: And now Bunny’s acting like a huge ass to me and to my friends. Gee, that’s no fun at all.

Richard: He’s nagging Charles about him being a drunk, Francis about him being gay, and me about being poor! And Camilla about being a girl, but women are inherently inferior in Greek language, nothing personal. And he’s implying the twins sleep together!

the greek chorus: all of these are true

    Henry: I know! I shall poison my traitorous friend with death cap mushrooms mixed in with fun trip mushrooms. The ancient Arabic treatises on poisons must still be relevant.

the greek chorus: textbook high Intelligence low Wisdom

Henry: Richard, my friend, weren’t you in pre-med?

Richard: Uhh I guess, let me just... add the number of mushrooms, carry the one - jeez, that’s some advanced calculus...You know, the concentrations in chemistry are measured in moles, so we have catch a mole first...

Henry: I tested it on two dogs. Sadly, one lived.

Richard: Oh, Henry, you’re such a rascal. First a farmer, now a dog? Anyway,   those mushrooms are just too funny-shaped. It’s just too hard.

Henry: Why don’t you weigh - you know what, nevermind, I can see I’m dealing with a genius.

    Julian: I’m so concerned for young Edmund! He’s such a lovely and smart boy...

Richard: yeah, right - I mean, bright. Very bright.

Julian: I fear he may be about to convert to Christianity! Not even Catholicism, but something plebian. He keeps asking me about sin and forgiveness - how very... not Greek of him.

    Bunny, piss drunk in the middle of the night: Richard, man, I can’t take it, I just have to confess - they killed a man! Tore him to pieces!

Richard: Guys, this is bad, Bunny just told me.

Henry: Welp, got no choice but to kill him. He’s acting so irrational.

Richard: Yeah, and he’s been real racist and bigoted lately -

Charles: I know, right? Why can’t he be more like us and hate on poor, classless people instead?

Henry: re-rolls wisdom We’ll push him into the ravine in the forest he conveniently loves hiking in. Piece of cake.

     Judy: Rich, there’s gonna be a big party, come have fun!

Henry: Who’d have known there would be a party? Aside from, I mean, everyone who doesn’t live in their own Greek bubble. Oh well, guess I’ll dig for ferns instead.

Bunny: Hey, guys, whatcha doing?

Henry: Oh, you know... killing time. Now, who wants to see a flying rabbit?