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hongjoongtrasher · 3 years

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ATEEZ FINAL PART : when they said something to hurt you.

I'm glad you've liked the previous part (part 1 and 2 here if you haven't read it yet), so here is a final to all this angsty reactions (if it is a reaction). Sorry if there are a lot of grammar errors, English not being my mother tongue -

Gosh this is going to be LONG please, bear with me ugh.

Hongjoong:

After this stormy episode of him totally lashing his stress out on you, he spent some time alone to think and reflect upon his trashy behaviour. He was genuinely aware of the massive efforts you were doing for his ass. Literally be patient and taking everything on you so he didn't have to feel more stressed. But today was different. He obviously went too far, saying those words horribly. Furthermore, he knew how hurt you've been because of him and now he didn't really know how to be forgiven. He always have been busy, always considering his work first and thought you were in an equal part of this, but seems he considered you taken for granted. The leader sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes not seeing any solutions at the moment. It's at this moment that Seonghwa entered the place. "Erm...Joong ?" he didn't answer, only Seonghwa could see how much his leader was in distress. "I heard from Y/N, mh I mean she told San who told me but anyway-" began the oldest before Hongjoong asked simply: "Have you come to scold me ?" A silence then. "No, I came to check on you." Seonghwa was always worried about his leader, since he knew the best how hardworking and diligent Hongjoong was, but today he felt like he was wrong. "You've acted like a real idiot this time" Hongjoong let a sarcastic laugh be heard as he slowly turned to face his friend. "Yeah, I know. Do you think she will forgive me ?" "Probably not easily." he answered honestly before continuing. "She told San she was tired of this, always being a shadow to you, erm...and nowadays she's been really stressed at work" A shadow ? Is this how you were seeing yourself as ? And on top of that, he was completely unaware of your work, how life has been going for you. This made the leader felt more guilty as he bite his lips. "So...What should I do ? Kneeling and beg her for forgiveness ?" Seonghwa sighed and put a comforting hand on the leader shoulder. "Sometimes actions are better than words".

And he left the studio, putting Hongjoong in a more difficult situation than he was already. What did he mean ? He thought about it again and again, watching without really watching his screen before it tilted inside his head. "THE SONG !!" he yelled at himself, feeling now very dumb. He had almost forgotten this track, a very secret one he composed for a long time. This song was special for him, it was a song which were written for you, and was conveying all of his feelings. He had to make you listen to this. A glance at his phone indicated it was already 3am in the morning, but sleep could wait. He spent the rest of the night finishing this track, or actually checking it before he saved a copy and directly sent it to you, praying you'd see it in the morning.

You'd spent the most horrible night of your life. Crying and turning under your blanket as you felt useless, no one. San proposed to come with Yunho, but you insisted to be alone, so they let you be, though they were worried. You only found sleep around two in the morning, tired for having crying most of the night. You woke up at six, your eyes hurting, puffy and red as fuck. Anyone could tell you've cried your eyeballs out. First you went to the bathroom to clean your face with cold water, your stuffy nose not helping in the process. After a while you returned to your bedroom and took your phone, not expecting to see a message from your boyfriend, or was he still yours ? At first you hesitated to open it, but finally did. No text, just an audio file. What was this ? Taking your headphone, you put them into your ear before clicking on the file, closing your eyes. At first, you were confused. You've never heard any melody like this one, so...calm, bubbly and soft. Soon Hongjoong's voice appeared with lyrics he surely had written and...you broke in tears again. This time not from sadness, but ...it was like a dream. You could heard his feelings, how much he loved you. You were ready to forgive him, but...it wasn't easy. Reconciliations were always difficult for both of you. Brushing this instantly aside, you rushed out from your apartment for going directly to Hongjoong's studio, in home wear, messy hair and "after crying faced" only to find him asleep on the couch. Panting, you rushed to jump on your boyfriend, sobbing again . This caused Hongjoong to wake up in surprise, confused. "Y-Y/N ?" why ? Why were you crying again ? After a while of you crying heavily on his shirt, he realised you probably came after hearing his song. His arms softly hooked around your tiny waist as one hand rubbed your back. "Shh...don't cry" he said, heartbroken to see you like this. "You dummy !" you yelled between two sobs. "I know." "I - I love you" "Me too, I'm sorry for being a huge dummy" he said with a gentle smile, holding your face to wipe your tears.

Seonghwa:

How rude he's been with you. It's only after hearing your answer that he realised you didn't deserve this. He wanted to chase after you, saying he was sorry, but too late, you slammed the door. Hongjoong came to their shared room before leaning at the door's frame, arching a brow at the oldest. "Can you explain to me what did just happen ?" he asked calmly before Seonghwa bite his lower tier. "I've been a jerk with her" he mumbled, not proud of himself this time. "Yeah, we saw this. You know, she only wanted to cheer you up. We all know you're having bad times because of vocal things, but you didn't have to lash out on her." His leader wasn't wrong, only himself was. "Hwa, go after her. It's not too late" said Hongjoong. "Now ?" Hongjoong sighed. "Yes now, not tomorrow or later" Seonghwa blinked, overthinking before his own body stood up and carried him outside the dorm, chasing after you desperately. He shouldn't have had been this way, he should have been thankful to have you by his side, always being cheerful and bright although sometimes you were hiding your own demons. But being a couple meant for the good and the worst right ? After running for a while, he stopped, panting his lungs on fire. He started to think. Where could you be now ? He remembered when you were sad or stressed, you used to go to Starbucks and get a drink full of sugar and whipped cream, that's how he thought you'd at the nearest one. Not minding people watching him when he opened the door, he eyed the room quickly before seeing you at the table across the entrance. He stepped inside and directly went to your seat as you were still sniffing with tears, your drink between your hands. Not expecting to see your boyfriend, you gasped when you finally realised he was standing here without saying anything. "Y/N.." You tried to gain composure, not wanting to appear fragile in front of him. "What are you doing here ? I thought you didn't want to see me" you croaked, looking away coldly. You heard him sitting before you and took your cold hands. "Y/N I'm sorry. I've been a jerk, you didn't deserve this- I know my work isn't an excuse for acting this way, I understand if you don't want to talk to me or-" "Shut up..." you mumbled, suddenly feeling embarrassed as more people were staring at you two. "I will do everything for you to forgive me, really." he said seriously, not quitting your face from his gaze. Some people were whispering and gossiping, and the more they did, the more you felt ridiculous. You stood up quickly and went straight to the exit with your double cold latte with whipped cream, your boyfriend following you closely. "Are you crazy Park Seonghwa ??? Did you forget you're an idole ? Huh ?? What are you going to do if they recognise you ?" You began to yell but Seonghwa stopped you by taking your free hand and said clearly. "Then I will just say you're my girlfriend and that I don't care, cause you deserve way more than this. Beside being an idole I'm a man, and I love you, there's nothing wrong with this, and if they don't like it, screw them !" you were shocked by his fearless answer, and you felt your heart melt again. You were definitely madly in love with him.

Yeosang:

He was aware of his jerk attitude, and as much as he felt guilty, he didn't know how to ask for your forgiveness. The members already scolded him for what he had said earlier but he knew better than anyone that you weren't ready to talk with. You were the type to be angry for a while, not letting space for any peaceful conversation until you'd calm down. He overthought for a while, thinking you'd probably dump him now and he wouldn't see you ever again, or you'd be so mad at him you'd just beat his ass. Tormented, Yunho looked at his friend before saying, not really sure to mingle in his friend's love problems: "Yeosang, I'm not sure about her being mad, I think she's ...sad ?" he said cautiously, nervous about Yeosang's answer. Sad ? He was really dumb. Of course you'd not be mad, or at least not as much as sad. After all he saw you crying when you left, and his motto was all ruined at this moment. "You're right...I should go see her." he said flatly, feeling really bad. "Huh, yeah I don't even understand why you're still here to be honest" said Yunho with a smile. Thanks to him, Yeosang found the courage to go to your apartment, with your favorite pastry from the bakery you both liked to go, and...flowers. Yeosang wasn't the type to make such lovey dovey stuffs, but this time it was important. Inhaling deeply in front of your door, he knocked once, shyly, not sure if you'd hear it. Then he knocked more frankly before hearing footsteps from behind the door and before he knew it, you were standing in front of him as much surprised as he was. "...What are you doing here ?" you asked, rather coldly. He cleared his throat before handling you shyly the flowers. "I...I came to apologise. I've been a real jerk to you earlier...I even promised myself I'd never make you cry, but I failed miserably" he said in a go, probably too embarrassed to say it confidently. There is a silence, as you fix your eyes on your shy boyfriend. Suddenly you wanted to laugh. How laughable it was to see Yeosang acts like he never did before. You can't bear it anymore and just burst out of laugh, laughing so much that you have to hold your hurting belly. Visibly confused, Yeosang frowned a bit. Why were you laughing ? "Oh my god...You're really something else" you said, calming down slowly before taking the flowers. He suddenly lifted his head in hope. "Does it mean you're forgiving me ?" You faked you're still thinking about it, humming in an exaggerate way. "Well, only if you let me eat this" you nudged your chin to the box he was carrying and which you spotted immediately before he gave you the flower. He smiled and shook his head. "Alright, it's all for you then"

San:

He had definitely crossed a line he shouldn't had. After you slammed the door at his nose, he tried to make you open it for a while, but you never opened it again. So he left, defeated. It was supposed to be a romantic moment for both of you since a while, and yet he ruined everything with his mouth. Sometimes he wished he just could rewind and change every thing. Even if he didn't like the dress, he could have accepted it since you were happy, but his selfishness and jealousy got over it and now he was alone, in his car without you. He took his phone, sending you texts. "Babe, I'm sorry, please, you know I didn't really mean it right ?" or "Please answer me, I'm really sorry." etc, but you didn't even open them since they were still on sent. Instead of going back to his dorm, he tried to call you this time. On the fifth time, he let a voice mail, taking a long breath before the beep. "Y/N, I'm really sorry, I didn't want to ruin our date like this, or just ruin it at all. The truth is...you were so pretty in this dress, so sexy that I don't want other men to see you in this, I wanted to be the only one to see you with. You're not a whore, you're not any of this. I'm selfish I know, but please, it's been so long since we went on a date...If you still want to see me...I'll be waiting in front of your building." And he locked his phone, leaning his head on the top of the steering wheel. He didn't know how long he waiting again but he suddenly heard the door of the passenger side opening, making him look at the person who opened it. It was you. With the same dress. He felt his heart stopped as you sat next to him, putting your seatbelt without a word. "Y/N ?" You looked straightforward you, and said simply. "Let's go, I guess the restaurant is still open" you muffled. He couldn't help but smiled happily as he turned the engine on, taking your hand in his before driving and said. "Thank you Y/N, thank you" and kissed the back of your delicate hand.

Yunho:

Since the incident at the practice room, Yunho didn't hear from you for a while. Hongjoong particularly scolded him about how rude he's been on you while you just wanted to wish them good luck for their performance. He knew it right, but at the moment he couldn't have helped but get angry at you. He knew as well it wasn't so like him to get carried away for nothing, so that's why he didn't really know what to do to make amend for you. He made his mind he would apologise right after their stage for Kingdom even if they boys thought it would be better to do it before. He knew you'd definitely watch them, root for them so he put all of his mind and body in this performance, hoping it would bring him luck. And it did since they snitched 1st place although they started low in the classement. When the MC asked Yunho how he felt about their win, the giant boy just shyly smiled before saying with a trembling voice. "I...It meant a lot for us, and to be able to be first is huge honour. We always want to show our best to our fans, Atiny. But today I...wanted to surpass myself for a certain person." Others groups were chatting among themselves, surprised by Yunho's declaration. Changmin, though he was as surprised as the others still asked professionally. "Oh, who would it be ?" Yunho smiled brightly and said confidently. "Y/N, my girlfriend." Some screams and gasps from shock could be heard in the giant room after Yunho pursued: "She's always been by my side and supports me with the best way she can, but lately...I've not been a good boyfriend to her, that's why I wanted to win, for her, and saying that I love her."

Right after the diffusion of this week episode which you've been watching with your friends, you sobbed like a little girl. How proud you were for your boyfriend, and the only thing you wanted now was to take him in your arms, feeling his arms around you. With shaking hands you took your phone to try to call Yunho, but he wasn't answering your call. That's at this very moment you heard the bell of your door and went for it, not expecting to see your boyfriend at your door. "H-hi" he said shyly. You dropped your phone and jumped directly in his arms, crying again. "You're an idiot Jung Yunho...But I love you". He nuzzled the top of your head as he hugged you back tightly. "I love you too, little one."

Wooyoung:

wede Wooyoung always said honestly what he was thinking, and everyone's used to it, so he thought his remarks about your skill about cooking would pass easily, but he was wrong. At first he didn't understand your reaction, why you left like this as he was only joking, or he thought so. Seonghwa nagged at him after you left, saying how rude he's been and at least he could shut his mouth. He felt really guilty. He was the one who made you loose confidence about you, when he knew you're always trying your best. And this time, he really screwed things up. Worst than this, when he ate the cake you'd made, he realised it was really good, and his unfounded claims were really mean. Gathering his courage, he showed up at your workplace, waiting for you at the exit. At first, you didn't want to see him, you haven't digested yet what he'd said to you. But with an expressionless face, you finally appeared in front of him. "Y/N- listen, I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have said those horrible jokes. No, I mean, I didn't mean what I said, the cake was really good." he tried to say quickly, afraid you'd just brush him away. After listening to his words, you just sighed and said "You're really a jerk sometimes you know that ? Maybe I'm not good at some things, but it doesn't give you the right to bash me out like this in front of everyone. Do you understand Wooyoung ?" he looked down at his feet and nodded, muttering "I'm sorry". "Fine, if you're really sorry, you better cook something too" you smirked, a sign from you that you're half forgiving him. "What ? Wait-" he looked at you astonished. "I don't know what to cook" "Huh, well not my problem" you sticked your tongue out to him and caught his arm in yours.

Mingi:

Mingi's been aware that his words probably upset you. But he needed to find himself again, to get right on tracks by himself even if he was thankful towards you, taking care of him for so long and everything. But he felt like it was his duty to make his comeback to the team his, from A to Z. He hoped you would understand, but after you left him alone, he felt guilty to suddenly reject you. The first day of his comeback into the team, Mingi felt really nervous. He wished he could call you and talk to you as he used to, but since that day he didn't dare to contact you. Instead he sent you a long message, saying how much he missed you and felt really nervous. That he was sorry for what he's said and how much you counted for him. He knew deep inside his mind that you had understood his reasons to act this way, and he was right. After reading his text, you couldn't help but fall in love all over again for Mingi. He was so sweet and pure that you couldn't hold grudges against him. You texted back saying "Everything's gonna be alright. Fighting ! I love you" which reassured the rapper.

Jongho:

Although Jongho was the youngest from the team, he was really mature and hated childish behaviour when it comes for his relationship. The fact you got jealous and as a result, acted this way got him angry. For him, the fact he was dating you was a proof of his choice, and love. Things weren't bad with his ex, so he didn't see why he would cut the rope from her, and he expected you to understand his point of view. After calming down on his own, he also realised his reaction must not have been mature as well. He took more time to think about how he was going to reconcile with you, but things shouldn't stay this way. He expected you to be at your place, and directly knocked at the door, feeling nervous. "Y/N ?" he called out for you. It took a moment before you opened the door, clearly still furious about what happened earlier. "What ? Aren't you with Mina yet ?" you spatted out, maybe too agressive than you wished. Jongho took on himself not to react to this again, instead sighing softly. "Baby, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted this way." he began, trying to be the most sincere he was. "You're the only one for me, you know it right ? But you see, Mina is indeed my ex, but it doesn't mean I'm on bad terms with her, and it also means that nothing will happen with her anymore. Because I love you so much and no one else"

#ateez angst #ateez fluff #ateez smut #ateez reactions #ateez imagines #hongjoong #seonghwa #yunho #yeosang #mingi #Wooyoung #Jongho #san

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silversatoru · 3 years

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birthdays don’t have to suck

fushiguro megumi x f!reader (elli)

synopsis: you get really sick on your birthday, but megumi makes sure that you still have a good day :))

t/w: fluff, reader is sick, vomiting, medicine (tylenol lol), some details pertain specifically to elli

wc: 2.2k

a/n: a small birthday present for the love of my life @megumifushi who never sleeps enough and is always sick,, i love u and i hope ur days not too bad <3

you stared into your dimly lit laptop, red eyes squinting at the black text that sped across the screen as your fingers scrambled against the keys. you weren’t even sure that what you were writing was comprehensible at this point, but your essay that was due tomorrow morning wasn’t gonna write itself. at this point it just needed to get done, concerns of quality were thrown out the window hours ago.

aside from the burning and stinging in your eyes, your entire body ached, and you were ridden with chills and goosebumps. seemed like a fever was coming on, but you didn’t have the time or capacity to care about that right now. you’d pop a few tylenol and crawl into bed in a couple hours, and everything would be better tomorrow.

what time was it anyway? it couldn’t possibly be that late yet, right?

you glanced to the corner of the screen, eyes falling on a bright 3:56am that made your heart sink and your eyes widen. you had a terrible habit of losing track of time and staying up into ungodly hours of the night — a habit that your wonderful boyfriend was trying so terribly hard to break.

you glanced to your left and took in his sleeping form, his lips parted ever so slightly as he took small breaths of air. he’d be disappointed and upset with you if he knew how horrid your sleep schedule had been lately, and he’d probably blame your chills and headaches on your lack of sleep as well — which in all fairness was probably pretty accurate.

“i’ll just finish this up real quick and then i promise i’ll sleep, ‘kay gumi?” you spoke softly, running your fingers through his soft, spiky hair.

he was undisturbable, his mind off somewhere in a dreamland that was quite the distance from your small bedroom. and that was probably for the better, because him nagging at you to go to sleep would be too distracting for you to get your work done.

your hands moved rapidly against the keyboard for about another hour, words spilling onto the screen until you finally hit the page requirement for your paper. it was probably terrible, most likely had a few words spelled wrong, and honestly you were pretty certain you’d repeated yourself several times, but fuck it — submit. you were typically an excellent student, so one bad paper wouldn’t kill you, and you were too tired and achy to care right now.

you got up and placed your laptop onto your desk, plugging it in and letting a heavy sigh fall from your lips as you made your way back over to the bed. the soft blankets were therapeutically warm on your chilly skin as you crawled in against megumi’s back, effectively turning him into the little spoon and pressing your nose to the back of his neck. thankfully, sleep found you shortly after, your eyes fluttering shut as you drifted off into a much needed slumber.

babe

wake up

babe

you woke up to small finger pokes to your cheek from megumi, his face laced with concern as your vision finally focused on his features. he bent over and pressed his lips to your forehead, pausing there for a fraction of a second and then standing back up.

“i think you have a fever. i noticed when i woke up and you felt like a fucking space heater,” he frowned, confirming your initial suspicions from last night, “i’ll go get some medicine”.

you groggily nodded your head, shivers coursing through your body and dotting your extremities with goosebumps. your condition had definitely deteriorated overnight, your eyes stinging and a horrible nausea creeping up your throat.

by the time he returned with the medicine you had yourself propped up against the pillows, thick blankets pulled up to your chin in an attempt to minimize the icy feeling in your body. he handed two small tylenol tablets to you with a disappointed look on his face — a look that said: i’m gonna kick your ass for not getting enough sleep again.

“i’ll let everyone know you’re not feeling well enough to go out tonight,” he hummed as he handed you a glass of water, your brain filling with thick fog as you tried to decipher why he would need to let anyone know you were sick.

the look of pure confusion signaled to him that you had no idea what he was talking about, megumi shaking his head before he spoke up again, “it’s your birthday, dumbass, we were supposed to get food and stuff with yuuji, inumaki, and nobara and maki”.

birthday

forgetting about that was another habit you continued to succumb to every year.

“mm, shit,” you sighed after drinking back the pills, “i forgot”.

“figured you would,” megumi clicked his tongue, “but i didn’t, because i’m a good boyfriend. can you drag yourself out to the kitchen? you should eat”.

“don’t think so,” you mumbled, attempting to disappear back under the blankets before he could coerce you to follow him outside of the bedroom.

but megumi is impossibly even more stubborn than you are, wrapping his arms under your body and lifting you to his chest, “guess i’ll just have to carry you then”.

“fine,” you let out a long groan — was it a bit dramatic? maybe. but in your defense you felt like you’d been hit with a train.

he peppered your face with kisses as he carried you out of the bedroom, lovingly setting you down on one of the high bar stools around your kitchen table. he instructed you to stay in the chair, abruptly returning to the bedroom to bring out a couple blankets to wrap around your shoulders. you were grateful for the extra heat, you body still shaking and shivering as the medications worked to cure your fever.

megumi was a man of few words, preferring to display his love for you through acts of service than grand confessions, and this was very eminent when he wordlessly grabbed a couple pots and began cooking for you. you let your face fall onto your arms, resting your chin as you watched him silently shuffle between the stove and the pantry. the silence was comfortable, and you weren't going to complain about watching your muscular boyfriend walk around the kitchen in nothing but a pair of loose, plaid pajama pants.

a few minutes later he was placing a steaming bowl of soup and a couple slices of baked bread in front of you, a savory scent flooding your nostrils.

“red lentil,” he spoke as he handed you a spoon, “it’s your favorite, so you better eat it”.

“yes, sir,” you gave him a small smile, dipping the cool metal into the hot liquid and scooping a spoonful into your mouth.

“all of it”

“yes, megumi, i will try”

to no surprise, the soup went down pretty fucking horribly, your head hanging low over the toilet while megumi held your hair out of the way. your throat was practically raw by the time you were done heaving and vomiting up the meal, your eyes brimming with hot tears.

megumi tied your hair up in a neat bun so he could step away, filling up a glass with water and carefully helping you to take small sips and rinse out your mouth. he was tedious with the clean up, washing your face and helping you brush your teeth — ensuring that you felt the best you could given the situation. he then scooped you back into his arms, carrying you back to bed and profusely apologizing for making you eat the soup — but he was just trying to make you feel better, he really was doing his best.

you were ready to add today to your long list of terrible birthdays, chalking it up as another failed attempt, but megumi was not about to let that happen. he knew you had a rough history with birthdays, but now that he was here? you’d have a bad birthday over his dead body.

he scoured the back of your fridge for ginger ale, gatorade, jello, and whatever else he could find to make you the perfect sick-person platter. and he made sure he was logged into every streaming service that the two of you collectively owned, preparing netflix, hulu, and crunchy roll so that he could easily access every single one of your favorite shows and movies. and so you spent the majority of your day tucked safely against megumi’s chest, forcing down small sips of ginger ale and watching an assortment of tv.

your phone rang at some point — a facetime call from all of your friends who had gotten together so they could all wish you a collective happy birthday. megumi stuck a singular candle into a cup of blue-raspberry jello and ignited it with a small flame; and then they all sang the most terrible rendition of “happy birthday” that you’d ever heard, yuuji’s voice a little louder and little more out-of-tune than everyone else's.

you mustered enough energy to blow out the flame, everyone cheering while megumi shoveled a scoop of the blue jelly into your mouth. you swallowed it with a smile, praying it stayed down while everyone sent you off with an assortment of “feel better!”, “we love you!”, and “wish you were here!”

your night got pretty quiet after that, you and megumi climbing back under the covers to watch a few more episodes of your new favorite anime. it wasn’t until well into the night that he finally asked you if he could give you the presents he’d gotten for you. reluctantly, you said yes. you hated receiving gifts (it was just one of the many reasons you hated your birthday) but you knew that megumi wasn’t going to take no for answer.

he was obviously nervous, palms sweaty as he handed you a couple neatly wrapped packages in plain, solid colored paper. they were very megumi, perfect folds with not a single crease, the paper simple yet elegant and adorned with a singular bow on top.

you hesitantly peeled the paper off the smaller of the two, revealing a tiny box that contained a classic looking silver locket. you felt your heart pinch in your chest as you clicked the locket open and revealed two small pictures of each of the two of you. you weren’t particularly sentimental, but on top of your lack of sleep and not feeling very well, the simple gift caused few tears to well up in your eyes. but he was quick to wipe them away, insisting that you had to open the second gift first, and that birthdays weren’t meant for crying.

you followed his instructions, ripping open the second package and revealing a larger box that contained a series of envelopes. each one was decorated with tiny doodles of you and megumi, his demon dogs, hearts, etc. they were sickeningly cute, and you immediately reached for the first one before megumi reached out and stopped you.

“they’re not for now; they’re for when i’m gone, you know, on missions and stuff,” he could barely even maintain eye contact, his eyes dipping low as yours filled back up with tears.

despite your lack of energy and the fever that was starting to return, you showered him in hugs and kisses after that, thanking him over and over for the most perfect gifts, and for making your day as wonderful as it could have been.

all things aside, you were coming around to the idea that birthday’s don’t have to suck.

bonus: the first letter:

to y/n:

i know im not great at telling you what i have to say through words, actually, i’m kind of really bad at it. but i thought writing these might be a nice way to try and get better? i’m not sure. anyway, i guess i’ll start by saying that you mean a lot to me, and i probably miss you a lot right now (even though ill be too afraid to reach out and say it). not sure how long i’ll be gone for at the time but it’s probably a few days at least. gonna work hard so i can hurry back to see you.

i hope you’re sleeping enough, but i know you’re not. you never do, especially when i’m not there to yell at you. i hope you’re eating enough too. but you’re probably also not doing that. you’re like taking care of a stubborn child, you know that? but this is supposed to be a love letter so i’ll try to refrain from scolding you too much. but do try to take care of yourself. ill see you soon.

megumi

#jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #megumi fluff #megumi x reader #fushiguro x reader #fushiguro fluff #silvers mutuals <3 #megumifushi

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themadauthorshatter · 3 years

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MAJOR TIME AND EPISODE JUMP IN THE NINJAGO PG-13 TOUCH-UP UA!

We're jumping ahead to season 2 because I'm impatient and want to fix Misako; I WLL NOT HAVE THIS WOMAN BE CALLED A BAD MOTHER IN THIS UA!!!!

We're mixing episodes because we're starting with Lloyd watching school kids playing kick ball before he continues training with the ninja, which he is getting better at. When he's done, he leaves to go back to watching the kids play.

The ninja all get the jist that Lloyd's not himself. At all. He's more withdrawn after training and lessons, he's spacey, and he's just not all together.

Zane opts to talk to him, but Jay beats him to it, ruffling Lloyd's hair and telling him he's getting stronger by the day.

Lloyd thanks him and goes back to watching the students, particularly one that is getting picked up by his dad.

Now it's Kai's turn to ask what's going on. Lloyd repeats it's nothing, and leaves, though he gives one last glance at the father and son as they're approached by a woman, the man's wife and boy's mother; it is one of the worst reminders of who he is and what the dynamic of his family is.

The ninja debate on this, Zane seeing the family and understanding that want of Lloyd's, having personal experience with the whole "outliving his family" thing, but he's not going to go and talk to him about it because they've already bugged him enough.

Cue the serpentine and Garmadon being spotted at the museum and reviving the grundle, which I'm renaming the Valciraptor because this is PG-13 Ninjago now.

Garmadon wills it to life with the mega weapon, which is the 4 golden weapons mixed with the 4 silver fang blades, but only has it target Kai, Jay, Cole, and Zane, shreds and scraps of their clothes, gloves, and armor to lock the Valciraptor on them and not on Lloyd, which Skales is starting think is tedious.

The ninja still 'stop' the resurrection of the Valciraptor, ensuing in a small little fight against Garmadon before he flees, and the serpentine generals leaving with the golden sarcophagus.

The ninja all give chase, but Zane, for once, is the fastest, stopping them just as they try attempting to get underground through a manhole.

He sighs at not stopping them, but secretly pats himself on the back for catching them before they could damage the artifact.

"Zane? Zane! Wait up!"

Zane has a moment of, 'wait a second,' before turning to the rest of the ninja, who are half his size, stumbling in their oversized clothes, and talking in higher, more youthful voices.

While they freak out over being kids, Zane can only suffer from a sudden existential crisis because he was now the oldest and must look after them.

Zane spots a cop car speeding toward them and, with a fantastic idea, races back around the corner they all just came from as the car stops infront of Kai, Cole, and Jay, Jay shouting they're the ninja when the cops ask, "What are you kids doing out, stealing from the museum?"

Cue Zane sprinting back around the corner, purposely misnaming each of the younger ninja as he embraces them all, saying he's been worried sick and thanking the officers for finding them; the three rascals wandered off again.

"Wait, these are YOUR children?"

"Yes. Hayden-" Zane gestures to Jay. "-has quite the habit of wandering off. And Nyle and Juniper-" Gestures to Kai and Cole. "-are good enough to keep their eyes on him."

"Why didn't you stop them first?"

"With all due respect, have you ever tried leaving a conversation with a more well off parent about our children wearimg the same costume, Officers?"

The cops nod at each other begrudgingly before the officer that has been silent speaks up, "Well, we suspect they stole the golden sarcophagus from the history museum about a block away."

"My children are 9 and 7 years old. How could they even LIFT such a heavy piece of gold? If you still do not believe me, check the security cameras."

They do. And it is shown that the children are innocent; the camera they watch from shows black and white footage and hides the foot chase between the ninja and serpentine. What it does not hide is the Valciraptor bones growing ligaments, muscles, veins, and skin, shaking where it stands, and then stomps away.

The cops excuse the family, saying it's a new animatronic they're working on, to ease a frightened Jay and Kai.

The team leaves, Cole on Zane's back for a change, and Jay panics, asking what they need to do. Kai isn't as freaked out, saying they're safe as long as there's light.

Cole tells them to calm down and focus befor asking Zane if he has any more ideas.

Cut to Lloyd taking a break from training and reading a comic book and overhearing Wu and Nya as they worry about where the ninja are. Before they can elaborate more, the phone rings, which Nya answers.

"Hello? Nya? It's Zane."

"Zane? Where are Cole, Jay, and Kai?"

Zane, dressed in normal clothes from a bag he keeps in a hidden pocket of his gi, looks over at Jay, Kai, and Cole as they all watch him, Jay staring off as he sits, Cole leaning against the wall, and Kai pacing back and forth. "Well... We are in the city, but we have a small problem."

"What's happened? Tell us everything," Wu replies

Cut back to Nya, Wu, and Lloyd, where we hear Zane through the phone.

"Garmadon brough back a Valciraptor, a beast that supposedly feasts on humans. He has made sure it targets us the most, but we will need to stop it before it preys on anyone else in the city."

"Why can't you just stop it?" Lloyd asks; Nya put Zane on speaker.

Cut back to Zane, who winces and kneels down, holding his phone out for Kai to talk into, though he does say as a joke, "Remember, son, speak nicely to others."

"You'd better be glad I'm a kid right now, Zane!" Kai snaps as he takes Zane's phone. "Sensei? Nya? Lloyd!?"

Cut back to The Bounty, where Nya and Wu are flabbergasted and Lloyd fights back a smile and laugh.

"Is... Is that you, Kai?" Nya asks.

"Yeah, and- HEY!"

"NYA, SENSEI, GARMADON BROUGHT BACK A VAL-CAR-SOMETHING, WE ALMOST GOT ARREDTED, I DON'T WANT ZANE TO BE MY DAD, WE LOST THE THING GARMADON BROUGHT BACK, AND I NEED SOMETHING WITH CAFFEINE IN IT! I'M LOSING MY MIIIIIIIND!" Jay shouts at the top of his lungs before Zane takes his phone back and picks up a now emotionally melting down Jay.

"We've had a long night," Zane sums up as he stands. "What do you advise we do, Sensei?"

"Do you know anything about this Valciraptor?"

"Yes. It is nocturnal. And it seems to be vulnerable to light."

Wu is quiet for a second before replying, "Stay in the light, then, and find out as much as you can." He turns to Nya and Lloyd. "Nya, Lloyd, ensure you join them the minute you find them."

They agree, though Lloyd giggles out a quip about the ninja needing protection, which gets an, "I heard that," out of Kai, a desperate cry for an energy drink from Jay, and an agreement and "Be careful," from Zane, and the call ends.

The group of Wu, Nya, and Lloyd set out, Wu going to the tea lady for something he KNOWS will help and Nya and Lloyd looking for the ninja.

Cut to a gag of Zane hanging up, Cole sighing at how the call went, Kai groaning, and Jay whimpering that he just hopes they bring a soda.

Cut/Time jump to Lloyd and Nya walking around the city as they try to find the ninja. They're quietly observing, until Nya talks about the comic Lloyd was reading, noting how he used to read it a lot before, but recently he hasn't, which is strange because she thought he loved the series.

He tells her that he does, but lately all he can think about is Garmadon and facing him in battle. The training doesn't help and, thinking back on before he became the Green Ninja or even found the serpentine, all he'd ever wanted was to be a normal kid with a normal family. Granted he's more than happy to be with Wu, Nya, and the ninja, but he sees other kids with their parents and he can't help but feel jealous. He doesn't say this word for word, but Nya gets the point.

They find the ninja at a library, Zane and Cole being the only ones actually doing research on the Valciraptor while Kai comforts Jay, who just got done crying.

Thankfully, Nya saves the day with a sports energy drink and Lloyd winks as he shows the back pack he has contains weapons for the ninja, which had been dropped during their freak out.

Nya calls Wu and tells him she and Lloyd found the ninja, but Zane informs them that he can't exactly find anything on the Valciraptor, save for the most basic knowledge, so they're at a loss for information.

That is until Lloyd notices a teen reading the same comic book series he has been, and tells Wu to meet them at the comic book store Doomsday Comics when he finds the tea they need.

Cole tells him to focus and Lloyd replies that he is, and knows someone who can help them.

The call ends as Wu arrives at the tea shop went to th o get the Traveler's tea, the owner jabbing that she hopes he's not going anywhere anytime soon because she's out of stock. He tells her he needs Tomorrow Tea, which she does to look for. Wu looks out the window and silently prays for the ninjas' safety as dusk approaches.

With the ninja and Nya, they arrive at the comic store, where they meet the owner Professor Doomsday, which is what Lloyd calls him, as he was the only teacher at Darkley's that was actually nice to him.

The professor is impressed by how healthy Lloyd looks now, compared to his school days, but Lloyd talks business, asking about the Valciraptor, and if what he taught about it was true.

Turns out this beast was loosely related to dragins and used to be a thorough replacement for assassins and was used more for fighting rebellions by tyrant leaders. It didn't hunt only ninja, it feasted on anything it could get its claws on, especially after consuming its target.

Zane isn't exactly listening, because it's completely night out now and the street lights are dim as hell.

Cole notices Zane slip out of the shop, but is stopped by a girl, who tells him her friend thinks he's cute.

Outside, Zane spinjitsu changes into his gi just as the Valciraptor stomps around the corner and growls at him. He glanes at the other ninja, Lloyd, and Nya still inside the shop, and then unsheathes his shurikens. "Let's dance, you poor excuse of a dragon."

He races forward and leaps to the Valciraptor, which snarls at him at comes close to biting him in half. Zane kicks off it's muzzle and lands on a street light, tapping it to try to get the light back on.

It only makes the beast angrier.

In the store, Doomsday notes that it's strange how Lloyd's friends want to learn about such a dangerous and mature subject concerning the Valciraptor, and Jay asks, "What if we were to say that it was brought back?"

Cue Zane being thrown through the window and the Valciraptor chasing after him; the comic book shop is pretty big, about the size of a Barnes and Noble shop.

Cole asks if he's okay, but Zane goes right back to fighting off the beast, which doesn't work because it bites his leg and slams him down twice before throwing him against the wall.

The other ninja change, not as well as they'd like to, Lloyd included, and Nya leads everyone out of the shop and into the street.

The fight gets serious as the ninja can barely ude their spinjitsu and Zane is knocked unconscious and almost becomes a popsicle before Cole pulls on its leg and it kicks him away. Jay and Lloyd are up to the plate as Jay tries something he hopes works, disassembling the lights in a didplay to make a replica light sword toy a become to scare the Valciraptor as Lloyd makes and energy ball and Kai attacks it with scissors.

It knocks away all three of them, making Jay lose the super bright light sword. The Valciraptor sniffs at Lloyd before turning to the ninja.

Good thing Wu arrives with the Tomorrow Tea and Nya, in a panic, throws it to the ninja, which Lloyd catches, until it falls out of his hands and into Zane's. Just as he opens it, Kai stops him, realizing that it will also age Lloyd up along with the ninja and Valciraptor. Lloyd shouts to use it anyway, but every ninja objects, Kai, Jay, and Cole wanting him to still have his childhood and not miss out on it and Zane begging him to not throw his life away, and that such acts are too unfair, even for a boy of Lloyd's upbringing.

The Valciraptor, pissed beyond all reason, tears the sword out of Kai's hands and goes gor a snap. Lloyd, acting in the heat if the moment, snatches the tea and shouts, "Nothing in my life was ever fair! What's the difference NOW!?" as he throws it right into the Valciraptor's jaw as it shuts, shattering the tea instantly and making it wither, age, and dissolve right then and there.

It also restores Kai, Jay, and Cole, Cole checking on Zane, who's okay, even though he's a little concussed.

In the sudden silence and ash, Wu asks almost silently, "What about Lloyd?"

They dig through the ash, and Jay gasps at finding him.

Lying unconscious is Lloyd, who has aged up to either 16 or 17. He has grown taller and thinner, lean like Zane, his hair is very long, and is now at a point to where his gi now fits.

The "episode" ends with Cole carrying Lloyd as the team goes back to the Bounty, Doomsday asking Wu to promise he'll take care of Lloyd, as he couldn't back at Darkley's. Wu promises and the episode closes as they leave.

The next episode starts from Lloyd's perspective as he wakes up, greeted by the ninja, Nya, and Wu. He's still sore from the instant growth and winces as he sits up and examines his hands, especially noticing that his feet touch the ground. He asks what happened, but stops and puts a hand on his throat, surprises by the new pitch he now has.

Despite everyine telling him to take it easy, Lloyd gets up and walks very stiffly to the bathroom mirror, where he sees himself and the result of throwing the tomorrow tea at the Valciraptor.

He's literally speechless, examining his face, hair, and body as he realizes what he's done in order to save his friends.

That doesn't stop Kai from saying as gently as he can that they tried to warn him. Lloyd asks very sharply if they would rather have him sit back and watch them die, and Kai barks that he, actually, shouldn't have been in the shop when the Valciraptor yeeted Zane through the window, that he should have followed Nya.

There's more arguing and Lloyd tries to do a stand off, but his legs give out from under him and send him to the ground.

Pins and needles race through his limbs as Zane and Cole help him stand up, Wu elaborating that Lloyd needs time to adjust to his new body, and maybe his mind too because he aged from 7 to 16 in the span of a couple minutes and now has to get used to the teenage hormones that are no doubt going crazy.

"But what about the serpentine and my dad?" Lloyd asks as Zane keeps one of his arms over his shoulder. Cole affirms that he's not fighting or leaving the Bounty until he gets better. Kai mutters that he also needs a haircut, tugging his hair for more emphasis.

Wu assigns Zane as the caretaker for Lloyd and assigns Nya to join the ninja, as they've spotted a small group of serpentine in the outskirts of the city. Kai and Jay object, but Wu tells them that Nya needs the training and Zane is more experienced in taking care of someone medically, which will help Wu exponentially.

Nya gets an old, plain black ninja gi and her own weapons before heading out with the team, leaving a very sulky Lloyd with Zane and Wu, the former helping him to the shower.

He holds onto Lloyd's hands and walks backwards, practically leading an wobbly legged teenage Lloyd to the shower. The last few steps, though, he lets go, which leads Lloyd to catch himself on the door frame before he falls.

"What was that for!?"

"I didn't mean to be cruel, nor do I intend to be. If you wish to find your father in a hurry, then this is the fastest way I can think to help you adjust."

Lloyd nods and takes his shower, struggling to stand every now and then, but getting stable on his feet. Zane's waiting for him, when he's done, with a pair of scissors. With a look at how long his hair is, Lloyd shrugs in slight defeat, "Make me bald."

Zane snickers and gets to work, having SOME experience from helping Nya and the other ninja.

With the ninja and Nya, they're successful in catching two of the five snakes, these two being a Fangpire and Hypnobri, and demand to know why they're in the city.

The Fangpire pulls an uno reverse card and demands to know what happened to the Valciraptor and Lloyd.

Nya asks why it matters, since Garmadon has the megaweapon, and the Hypnobri accidentally spills the tea that the megaweapon is "acting out" in a sense, not obeying its master's wishes and even starting to crack, which we see in a cut to Garmadon as the snake talks/narrates.

Garmadon commands the weapon to speak to him, but it only shows his reflection and grows cracks into it.

Cut back to the ninja and Cole asking what Lloyd has to do with it. Neither of the snakes know, but they need to find and retrieve Lloyd or Garmadon's going to get two new wallets.

Cut back to the Bounty after the ninja and Nya finish interrogating the snakes, where they see Zane walk out with Lloyd, who's getting a little better at walking and now has an awesome new hairdo. They all have to admit he looks pretty good, but get back on track with explaining what they learned about the megaweapon and Garmadon trying to find Lloyd.

Wu deduces Garmadon has practically abused the weapon's power and it's at its limit and tells a growingly stressed Lloyd he must stay on the Bounty, no matter what. Lloyd, however, isn't listening as he comes to his own conclusion: the snakes must have seen him use the Tomorrow Tea against the Valciraptor, but didn't see the monster die or him grow. They reported to his father, and now the final battle must begin NOW.

"This is all my fault."

Cole tells him it isn't, as the final battle was alway going to happen and Lloyd should really calm down because his hands are glowing with energy that his little body couldn't exactly make use of before.

With a shout, the energy blasts outward, knocking back the ninja, Nya, and Wu, just a little bit because he energies himself a shield. No one's thrown off the deck of the Bounty, Llyod just shoves them back a little too hard without directly touching them.

Zane determines the increase in power he now has and asks Wu if power is somehow connected to one's emotions, which he says can be the case.

Lloyd apologizes for almost throwing them overboard, which they accept as long as he doesn't do it again(he never will), and Wu tells him that his emotions and his powers are like different streams that go the same way; they're going to to seperate and hard to see together, but when they meet and converge into a river, they'll be united and strong. If it doesn't make sense, I'm so sorry, I'm not good at being a wise mentor. Lloyd is about to protest, but nods and agrees.

With the power of Process of Elimination, the team comes to the conclusion that Garmadon and the serpentine are probably at Ouroboros, all things considered.

They head there, their dragon following, which has totally been here the whole time, it just hunts and whatnot and comes back, though the ninja instruct it to stay with Lloyd once they reach the city.

During the flight, which takes a couple days, Cole finds Lloyd reading a book Zane lent to him, a fictional one talking about mature subjects like the societal underworld, politicians involved in and protecting people from it, and the society itself blind to what's going on. Forgetting Lloyd's sudden physical growth, Cole tells Lloyd that he's a little young to be reading a book like that. Lloyd, however, says he's tried reading it before, about a week ago, but barley understood it. Now he's starting to, proof that his mind is slowly catching up with his body. Cole takes a seat next to Lloyd as the younger admits that since his sudden growth, he's been seeing more of the world, kind of like before when he was younger, but there's more to see now, like he's a fish in a tank that's left the decorative house it stayed in only to find it is now noticing the tank is really the ocean for the first time, and is about to swim and explore it all.

Cole puts an arm around him, pulls him close, and assures him that he doesn't have to explore this ocean alone, that he has Wu, Nya, Zane, Kai, Jay, and himself(Cole) with him, as they are his school, if they're still using the fish analogy.

Lloyd thanks him, resting his head against Cole's shoulder, and admitting tearfully, and wuite self deprecatingly, that even with how much bigger he's gotten, he still has a lot of growing to do. Cole assures him he'll grow pretty quickly, knowing Lloyd.

They arrive and head out, the Bounty a good distance away as to not attract attention. Lloyd tells them to be careful, which they do, as long as he promises to stay put, Kai offering to buy him candy if he does, which Lloyd does not find funny at all.

Cole, being smart, offers that if they aren't back in thirty minutes, he can join in the fight, which Wu reluctantly agrees with, to calm his nephew.

They leave, Zane looking back and gesturing for Lloyd to remain out of sight as he stands on the deck.

Lloyd instead crouches and then sits down, examining his hand again before one of the dragon's heads rubs against it, so he can give ot pets. He chuckles as he does. "Guess I'm finally taller than Brad," he says to himself.

Back with the team, they arrive and enter in secrecy, watching from a close enough distance as Garmadon tries to make the weapon work as the serpentine return from searching for Lloyd and the Valciraptor, which they report is dead while Lloyd is purely missing. Garmadon groans and calls them all useless before pacing and turning to his last ditch effort: using the weapon to summon Lloyd to him.

Wu has none of that and spinjitsus his way into the center of the arena Garmadon and the serpentine have gathered, knocking out and away a few snakes and a general or two.

The rest join in and the battle begins, Garmadon and Wu duking it out, with Garmadon demanding, "Where is he hiding!?" as Wu snarks back, "This battle is between us!" while the ninja and Nya fight against the snakes, which are coming at them in very overwhelming numbers.

Cole and Zane are fighting back to back and doing fairly well as Zane hopes Cole was serious about that "thirty minutes" thing, because goodness help them if he doesn't show up.

Funny Zane say that as we cut to a sort of TV, Viewer prespective of a montage/jump cut extravaganza that cuts between Lloyd and the ninja fighting, quiet, slightly humorous, kinda bored soinding music playing for Lloyd as he rests his head in his arms on the table and looks at the clock to see only five minutes have past. He leans back with a sigh and blows some hair off his forehead as he taps a finger. Cut loud, kind of desperate, fighting, action music playing with Wu kicking Garmadon away and doing some wicked staff attacks that knock away Skales and the Fangpire general. Garmadon gets back up and the two have one of those weapon colliding glare offs as Garmadon seethes, "You stole my family once, I will not let you do it again!" He pushes Wu back and slashes at him, Wu dodging and asking, "You really think he will be safe back among the serpentine!? Not even you can protect him from them, and you LEAD them!" Garmadon shouts, "ENOUGH!" and lunges at Wu. Cut back to Lloyd, who's leaning against the railing on the bow of the Bounty and having a staring contest with Shard, who blinks, making Lloyd smirk at the victory. He checks the time on his phone and finds that seven minutes has past since the team left. CUT to Jay as he's thrown into frame by Skalidor before Zane dropkicks him for old time's sake. He helps up Jay, who thanks him, and they tag team Skalidor, who hisses at tail whips Zane and right hooks Jay. CUT back to Lloyd, who's balancing on the railing with the dragon watching, each head knowing what stupidity this 7 year old in a 16 year old's body is going to cause. He quickly switches feet ans his foot slips, making him lose his balance and fall to the dirt. The camera would linger on where he was standing as he hisses in pain and groans, "Ow." CUT to Cole as he wrestles the Hypnobri general to the ground and smashes his fist into his face, knocking the snake out standing back up in time for a Constricti to land on his shoulders and choke hold him. As he fights it off, Kai and Nya take turns fighting off Skales and an assortment of snakes, Nya even getting a few good hits in with her chakrams as she dryly remarks that she should've left ninja-ing to the boys. Cole throws off the Constricti and shouts, "Wherever Lloyd is, he better get here now!" CUT to Lloyd chewing on his nail as he's crouching on the ground, occasionally looking at the dragons through the corner of his eyes, like his eyes move but his head doesn't, and looking at the arena at the center of the city. He does this a few times before checking his phone again. Fifteen minutes has past and he can't take the suspense anymore as he climbs back onto the Bounty, quickly changes, and runs to join the fight, though the dragon trots after him in time to see him stumble a little. He saddles up and flies there instead, as he'll need all the energy he can get. (Thank goodness that's over.)

The ninja, Nya, and Wu are surrounded and back into the center of the arena, all of them bloodied, bruised, and worn from fighting, the snakes and Garmadon swarm in, ready to deliver the final blow, Garmadon having figured out he can create a killer lightning storm that doesn't TECHNICALLY go against what the weapon does.

Too bad Lloyd drops in super hero landing style and uses earth powers to knock the snakes back, and accidentally make the team fall. Garmadon remains standing and points the weapon at him, demanding to know who this tall, teenage, powerful ninja in green is; for anyone who says he should know his son is the green ninja, Garmadon doesn't know Lloyd threw away 9 years of his life to save the ninja, and it's kind of dark out, so he can't really see his eyes.

Lloyd stands up, stumbling a little, but still stands, gesturing for the team to stay back as he rises. He and Garmadon have a stare off before Lloyd gets into a defensive stance.

Garmadon laughs, remarking that this warrior is here in Lloyd's place, probably because they hid him somewhere. Lloyd's shoulders drop, because he's right there, but Garmadon interprets it as the ninja's plan being foiled, remarking that it was clever of them, but it was still stupid. He also can't help but thank Wu for keeping Lloyd away from the battle.

Before he can say more, Skales charges, clocking Lloyd with an upward swing from his staff into Lloyd's jaw, knocking him down. He shouts if THIS is Ninjago's hero, an amateur who's all bark and no bite? Lloyd kicks him back for that and stands as he picks up a sword one of the snakes dropped, holding it up as much as he can despite the weight. The snakes laugh, and Lloyd gives a 'bitch, really' face and throws the sword at Skales, which bangs into his staff and scares him.

"I'm not here to play games!" Lloyd shouts before pointing to the megaweapon. "The weapon's on its last legs. Use anymore of its power, and theres no telling what could happen!" Garmadon scoffs, retorting, "You expect me to just hand it over that easily?"

The serpentine back away, some even pulling the team back with them as carefully as possible. Lloyd notices and realizes what's about to happen.

Soon it's just Lloyd and Garmadon. Tv perspective, the camera would be above the now open ring as the two circle each other from far away, spinning counter to them. It cuts to a perspective behind Garmadon's boots as he walks, steady footed with Lloyd in the background of the frame trying to be tough, but still kind of stumbling. Cut to the same perspective, but behind Lloyd's less sure feet with Garmadon stalking in the background.

From where the team stands, Jay asks to no one in particular if the two aren't really going to fight, considering what the team knows. Upon hearing that, Wu has an 'oh, SHIT' moment, and tries calling out to Garmadon to not fight.

Too late, because he takes a swing at Lloyd, who barely dodges in time and gets a punch into the cheek that sends him back into the ground.

Garmadon shouts for him to get back up, that if he wanted a fight, then he'd get what he wanted, as he was the so-called green ninja. Those words, minus the green ninja bit, trigger a very unpleasant memory for Lloyd, one where an older boy yelled at him and beat him up for being the son of Lord Garmadon. He's snapped out of it with a kick to the face from a serpentine; he was unconsciously crawling away.

Garmadon shouts for his opponent to man up and stop being a coward and Lloyd shakes his head before standing up.

This time, Lloyd apologizes to his father and races towards him, using a trick he picked up from training with the ninja: he sends some lightning in Garmadon's direction, which he blocks, before sliding and kicking his feet out from beneath him, making Garmadon fall as Lloyd kips up, one that he's been practicing and celebrates pulling off prematurely. (Again, 7 year old in a 16 year old's body)

Garmadon gets up with a cool sweepy motion and kicks the back of Lloyd's knee before kicking him HARD in the face, enough to make his nose bleed.

He laughs that NOW this is a good fight, and asks very tauntingly where it's been in the first place, as Lloyd struggles to his feet as he holds his nose. He throws apologies and martial arts to the wind as he shouts and left hooks Garmadon close to the eye. Garmadon has none of it and uses two of his four hands to grab Lloyd's hands before returning the punch to its sender, kneeing, and kicking Lloyd away once more, but not without a surprise blast of ice to the megaweapon, freezing it to uselessness.

On his back, Lloyd fights tears as Garmadon shouts at him for getting in the way, being no better than the ninja and always trying to ruin his plans. Lloyd, barely able to keep it together, bites that what he's been told is true, that Garmadon really is evil.

Garmadon kicks him numerous times for that, in the face, ribs, and arms, shouting he doesn't know anything about what he's had to do for his son.

Lloyd crawls back and throws his hood off, revealing himself for everyone to see, those who don't know, at least.

All that rage and battle adrenaline Garmadon had immediately gets washed away by horror as he sees and recognizes the green ninja's face, even though he's bleeding, starting to bruise, and has tears streaming down his face.

Silence washes over the entire arena; not even Skales has something dry to say.

Garmadon and Lloyd stare at each other, the father struck with guilt and horror as his son glares at him as he doesn't bother trying to stop his tears, even backing away when Garmadon reaches out for him.

"L-Lloyd? How?"

Lloyd rolls onto his front and pushes himself up, grunting out, "The Valciraptor. I used tea to make it age into nothing but bones. Kai and Jay and Cole, the weapon made them turn into kids." He stands very slumped over and holding his side and turns around to Garmadon, who puts the pieces together, and glares at Wu.

"You... You fools! Look at what you've done to MY SON!"

"All Sensei did was bring the tea to our location," Lloyd replies as he takes a breath and straightens, wiping his eyes and meeting his father's gaze head on. "I wasn't going to let you take my family away from me."

Those words put a SPEAR through Garmadon's chest and opens the teams eyes, especially when Lloyd turns to them and smiles to say what he said was true.

Garmadon trembles as emotions flood him. He's beaten and attacked his son, turned his ENTIRE family against him, and has ultimately proven that the evil from the great devourer's venom has truly shaped who he is.

But he still has the megaweapon. With a shout, he smashes the bottom part into the ground, commanding the weapon to turn back the clock and to give him back his son, to give him back his boy and give him the power to destroy those who've taken everything from him.

The weapon cracks even more and begins to start working, but a panic reaction from Lloyd takes care of that:

The teen's eyes go from their usual red to green, and then gold as he shoots a blast of energy at the weapon just as it too blasts at him and the team. Despite a little back and forth, the gold and green blast overwhelms the megaweapon and it is destroyed in Garmadon's hand, leaving nothing but the fang blades and the now permanently dormant golden weapons.

The gold and green energy blast morphs into enery tentacles as Lloyd slightly hovers off the ground. Before they can do anything, he drops to the ground, the energy fading and everyone still alive. Garmadon's eyes lock onto the unconscious Lloyd and he drops to his knees, only watching him as his own tears fall from his eyes

The team silently collect the fang blades and the weapons, though Zane chooses instead to carry the unconscious Lloyd on his back.

As they leave, the serpentine all back off, giving them room to leave. Skales does try telling them to attack, but Garmadon weakly grabs his arm. "No. That's enough. Let them go."

The episode ends as the team reaches the Bounty and Lloyd cries as quietly as he can, which Zane notices. Kai asks if Lloyd's okay, but Zane says that Lloyd's just having a bad dream, as he did get triggered earlier, and will be okay when he's in bed. Kai shrugs it off, and Lloyd thanks Zane, who smiles sympathetically as the episode closes.

NEXT EPISODE: We start with a another jumpcut montage, but it's not crazy like before. Somber-ish music playing as we switch from Garmadon, who's leaning against a table while dealing with a major shame-over from fighting with Lloyd. The serpentine watch him closely, but are too scared to ask what their plan of action is now. Cut to Lloyd as he lies curled up in bed with the blankets over him. He's still physically and mentally beaten up by what happened in Ouroboros and would rather stay in bed than talk about it. Tv perspective, the camera would be on a tired and drained Lloyd as he hears and feels his bed creak slightly behind him as someone sits down. It cuts to show it's Wu, who has some bandages on his face from the battle and is silent for his nephew's sake. He goes to put a hand on Lloyd's shoulder, but Lloyd sits up and removes the blanket. They stare at each other before Lloyd hugs him, Wu returning the hug and rubbing the back of Lloyd's head. Cut to Garmadon staring at the sky, with Skales and some lower ranked serpentine watching him. One brave soul gulps and approaches him, offering some water, because he's been standing and staring for hours on end. G-Dog politely turns down the free drink and returns to standing and staring. Zoom in on Skales glaring him down as the serpentine quietly agree that since the fight, Garmadon's been about as useful as a water in a spray bottle used against a house fire. Cut to the ninja as they train on the deck, Nya included, all of them stopping when Lloyd walks out and awkwardly shrugs as he forces a smile.

As he warms up, Jay checks in on him, maybe we can have a visual gag of Zane doing something cardiovascular by running between where the deck meets the front and back of the ship behind them as they talk.

Jay asks if Lloyd's feeling any better, all things considered, including that he hasn't left the bunk rooms in a week, and Lloyd says he's fine, not as good as he'd like to be, but fine as he is. Jay then asks about what happened with the megaweapon, more specifically when Lloyd did the cool hovering thing, to which Lloyd responds that he still can't remember what he did or the events slightly prior, even though he's tried remembering and repeating what he did, though he does ask if they've had luck with the weapons and fang blades.

Kai pauses from his spar with Cole to say they've still had no dice. The elemental weapons are dead and there's no bringing them back. Behind them, Zane sprints around them, on a mission to get in as many laps as he can.

Lloyd deflates at the fact that Wu was right about the weapon being at its limit, but continues warming up.

Nya, from her place on some sort of mini obstacle course, relays that she and Wu did some digging and noted that the weapons had certain reactions when placed beside certain weapons; the scythe looked less like dead stone next to the 'earth' fangblade, the one used in the trophy for the talent show, there was a defined red edge to the sword next the the 'fire' fang blade, etcetera. Lloyd, who switched to doing push-ups, wonders what it could mean.

Kai jokes that maybe it has to do with Garmadon getting the fangbaldes and making THEM into another megaweapon, but Cole quite literally kicks his ass for this, which sends Kai to the deck with a surprised yelp. Cole ignores the glare from Kai as he says whatever the change is, it's most likely important. He also apologizes for how messed up his blood family is, concerning what Lloyd said about them being his family. When Lloyd flinches away, Jay tries to lessen the words by saying, "Hey, at least you still have Sensei. A-and your mother." Lloyd shakes his head at this and admits, "I wouldn't know. I've... never met her. I mean, I remember her, but... something happened. And I never saw her again."

The ninja ans Wu are dead silent, but Kai gets up to continue his spar with Cole, and try to steal the rank of leader, only for Zane, who's been running this entire time, to surprise leap onto his back and send him back into the deck, Kai shouting, "No! Not again!"

The ninja laugh, and Lloyd lets himself chuckle, Zane saying to him as he holds a wrestling Kai, "Regardless, Lloyd, I believe we should be able to make up for what you've lost, if you'll allow us." He nods and says he does, thanking Zane as Kai breaks free.

Too bad the moment's broken by an alarm going off, Wu informimg them that venom from the great devourer has been found at anither museum in Ninjago City, one that's bigger and more expensive to go to than the one where the Valciraptor was revived. They all head out, even Lloyd, who figures he could use the change of scenery.

Quick cut to Garmadon sulking, but a Hypnobri saying they found the ninja at sea, and that they overheard Lloyd admitting he was apologetic about what happened with the weaopn. Garmadon, too desperately, commands that they get there immediately, missing and smirking Skales, who nods a 'well done' to the Hypnobri.

Back with the team, they make it to the city, the dragon and Bounty hidden a top a building as they arrive, carrying the fang blades with them along with the dead elemental weapons for safe keeping, and because they missed using the weapons.

Turns out the venom, like before, has given life to some of the museum's exhibits, but instead of bobbleheads, it's extinct creatures that used to hunt in Ninjago before humans were a thing, creatures like sabertooth tigers with cobras for a tails, bears that stand tall as giraffes and are long as hell rather than squat and fat, maybe a mini Valciraptor and Treehorn, and all sorts of nasties that makes the hair on even Zane's arms stand on end.

As the museum's director explains the situation, Lloyd stops and notices a painting of a crowd, maybe a battle in a village, and the camera would zoom in on his face, more specifically eyes because his face is hidden, as he stares. TV perspective, the director's voice fades into a crowd screaming in terror, particularly a woman screaming for her child to stay with her before the child himself screams for his mother.

A tap on the shoulder from Zane snaps him out of it, the white ninja asking if he's okay, which he semi-lies about. They rejoin the group and find the beasties, each person taking on one: Cole gets the monster long giraffe bear, Kai gets a large, wolf sized doberman with a long long and snake head and a bat head, Jay gets the sabertooth, Zane has to deal with treehorns agian(he looks at them with a glare, pulls off his hood, and lets a very scary, psychotic smile grow on his face because these things are the size of pitbulls.), and Lloyd is left to a cheetah-horse hybrid that spits acid at him, acid similar to what we have in our stomachs to digest food.

Each creature is oddly colored and had grown a stoney patch with veins of the devourer's venom pulsing all theough their bodies.

Where are Wu and Nya during all this? Well, Nya saw a woman almost get nommed on by one of these creatures, but the woman threw NYA out of the way and dealt with it herself with a blade hidden in her research scroll. Another beast comes running, but just as she goes for her blade again, Wu saves the woman as Cole takes care of it, apologizing for being a bad driver. Wu asks if she's alright, the camera on him, and he gasps at who he just rescued, even though she would've been just fine.

Cut to the ninja each fighting off their respective monster and winning, though when they hear shouting from Zane, they find him panting in a room full of dust and stone bits with a smile on his face. They're all terrified, but Jay's the only one brave enough to say Zane's lost it, which Zane responds to by throwing a recreated treehorn bit at him.

Lloyd isn't as successful as the cheetah-horse keeps knocking him back with it's front hooves and going for a bite, though he does well enough to get a few kicks in and block it woth his sword. It snags his collar instead and shakes him into a wall, which makes him see stars, before it goes for a bite and Lloyd gets in a killing blow with a sword. It falls, and he lies on his back, worn from the fight and not noticing the mini, great dane sized Valciraptor bites his hood and drags him back, making Lloyd choke. He's dragged awsy from his sword and his powers aren't exactly working right now, so he's left flailing and kicking to try and break free.

Thank goodness a blade pierces the Valciraptor and a boot stomps in it, destroying the creature. I hope you remembered that woman Wu saved, because she helps Lloyd to his feet as he coughs and thanks her.

The two meet eyes and the woman gasps, the team rounding the corner with Wu at the lead. Lloyd has major déja vu as the woman holds his face, tearing up as she examines him, asking if it's really him.

Wu speaks up to Lloyd that he probably wouldn't remember, as he was a CHILD when it happened(there's being a child, like a little kid, and then there's being a CHILD, like a 2 or 3 yesr old) and a crowd that heavy would have been too overwhelming for a three year old to handle. The ninja are flabbergasted and Lloyd backs away, a look of 'it can't be' on his face before he runs, overwhelmed by what's going on and not turning back when the woman calls for him and starts to give chase before Nya stops her, saying he just needs a lottle bit of time. Jay apologizes for breaking the moment and asks who this woman is, considering how skilled she is for being Wu's age.

Wu states that this is Lloyd's mother, the woman taking the wheel and introducing herself as Misako.

Cut to Garmadon and the serpentine generals as they fly a fang-copter over the water, Garmadon looking and asking for where Lloyd is. Skales replies, "Right HERE!" and shoves hin into the water below, where he falls and resurfaces to see them fly away. He calls them bastards and traitors and swims in a random direction, hoping it's right because damn him, if it isn't. Skales and the other generals bid good riddance to bad rubbish and the other leaders decide Skakes would maje a great leader. He ddoesn't disagree.

Back at the museum, the team has split up in search for Lloyd, the groups being Wu and Cole, Zane and Misako, and Jay, Nya and Kai, who's joining so Jay doesn't do anything suspicious. Zane catches Misako up on the series and tells her what's happened. She's not too happy about the fact her son fought his father one on one and got his ass kicked or the fact that he thought it was a good idea at 6 years old to befriend a bunch of snakes, but knowing what happemed and what he's been through, she can't exactly throw in her two cents. Zane admits that she's back in Lloyd's life now, and the two of them can catch up personally.

They find Lloyd sitting with his knees to his chest near a bottomless pit, which is restricted from entering to the public, and Misako quietly sits beside him. Zane stays back, but sneakily grabs some rope in case they fall.

After a few minutes, in which the rest of the team arrives, Misako carefully puts a hand on Lloyd's head, apologizing to him as he meets her eyes. Turns out he's been crying and he sees that her eyes are tearing up very much so. Out of misunderstanding, and a broken heart, he asks why she left him. Misako quickly hugs him, crying that she held on as much as she could, that she should've carried him rather than led him by hand as he was only three years old at the time. He thinks back to that painting and remembers more clearly as Misako weeps it was an attack and they should have left as soon as it began rather than sit and wait for Garmadon. Lloyd remembers vaguely how his father was back then as well, and says almost bitterly that his father hasn't changed a bit.

Misako pulls away and gets a closer look at him, asking how he got so bug if only four years have past. Zane's the one to spill the tea, the Tomorrow Tea that is, and Kai tries joking about it, stealing my spilling the tea joke, which earns him 'drop dead' eyes from Lloyd and Misako.

Whatever doubts they had about Misako vanish instantly.

Lloyd has one more question, though: Where was she while he was in Darkley's, even when he was thrown out?

Misako gives Wu 'How could you!?' eyes and then hugs Lloyd again.

She looked everywhere for him. The bus he was put on headed toward Ninjago city while her bus headed toward Jumonakai village, the two locations essentially being like Maine and California. She looked in every orphanage, boarding school, refugee camp, and anywhere else she could think, going from village to village to try and find him. She never really found him, but she found out about the serpentine and the dark island.

We get the explanation from before about the Overlord, his indestructible army, and that HE'S the one Lloyd needs to take down, not Garmadon, though they all move rooms so no one falls in the bottomless pit.

The ninja collectively shudder at this, and then Misako notices the fang blades, asking about them and the dead weapons. Lloyd drops the megaweapon and fang blade bomb and Misako realizes that the great devourer is gone with a capital G, which is bad because it could've been a last resort. She also remembers something she learned, when Lloyd talks about the weapons reacting to the fang blades. She holds the nunchucks with the fangpire blade and everyone is surprised to see the weapons merge into a cook buton sai mix that can be nunchuck-y with the push of a button. Lloyd asks how it's possible, since the weapons lost their power, and Misako explains that things don't really die, they just become something else, something more powerful. This is a voice over as we see a giant stone warrior come to life with help from the great devourer's venom.

Cut to Jay taking back what he said earlier, because Lloyd's mom is a badass. He's not exactly paying attention, instead asking Wu and Misako why they didn't find him earlier or why Misako hadn't joined the team earlier when Lloyd was first brought on the Bounty. Wu explains that he had called Misako to fill her in, and Misako was on her way, choosing to travel by foot between bus rides because she was tired of getting cat-called by other men and having a sore rear from sitting for nearly four hours straight. She at first started the research to cope with what happened, but it became a hobby and "safety net" for when she couldn't find Lloyd. If that doesn't paint a clear picture that Lloyd is, was, and always has been her first priority, I don't know what does

The stone warrior interrupts the moment, shocking EVERYONE. It takes a swing and they all dodge it, Misako throwing Lloyd out of the way as she flips back and readies her blade again. Lloyd isn't about to lose his awesome mom, so he leaps off the wall and kicks out the warrior's knee, making it fall.

They run to a 'party' room, one that's proper for fighting, and the duel begins, the ninja unsheathing their weapons and each one merging his with a corresponding fang blade after seeing their weapons fail where Jay's succeeds. Cole's scythe mixes with the Hypnobri blade, making it a staff sword on one end and a wicked double bladed scythe on the other, Zane merges his shurikens with the Constricti blade, giving him a staff that his shurikens can be removed from that turns into a bow with ice and venom arrows, and Kai merges his sword with the Hypnobri blade, at girst complaining that his weapon is the same before seeing it is every pyromaniac swordsman's dream when the sword becomes something of a whip that spews fire when it slashes and cracks.

They do more damage to the warrior, Lloyd getting in aome good hits with his powers, which he keeps in check as Misako fights with him and commends him for doing well in battle.

Good times end when the ninja are thrown off and Lloyd remembers the bottomless pit.

He shouts for everyone to give him at least five minutes and ahouts for Nya to follow him, which she does, as the rest keep fighting.

Even though they do well enough, the stone warrior follows where Lloyd and Nya ran, the remaining team trying to stop it.

Cut to it finding and charging at a meditating Lloyd, Misako crying for him to move because he's right infront of the bottomless pit. As the warrior swings, Lloyd falls back, and the warrior falls with him, having lost its balance from swinging at him.

Misako and the ninja are all quiet, Misako fighting tears as Nya says that all Lloyd told her to do was move the rope around the pit and keep her distance, and that she didn't know he'd do this.

Misako sees a glow from the pit and gasps as Lloyd hovers back out of the pit, looking very much like how he did before when he destroyed the megaweapon to protect his uncle and friends. He touches the ground drops to his hands and knees with a sigh, looking back at the pit and laugh-cry about his plan working as Misako hugs him and slyly pulls him away from the pit.

The others are equally glad, though Cole threatens him that if he does something like that again, he's keeping Lloyd in a harness on his chest to keep an eye on him.

They try to laugh it off, even though Misako gives him murder eyes, and all leave the museum, Lloyd sheepishly asking Misako if she's coming with them.

Upon seeing the 'please say yes' in his eyes, she hugs him and agrees that she'd be more than honored.

The episode ends with the team welcoming Misako on the Bounty, and a cut to an unconscious Garmadon floating on his back and washing on the shore of the dark island, exhausted from swimming and plotting on how he can get back at the serpentine. From a first person POV shot, a figure watches him rest, hissing out in a distorted voice, "Ah. He's perfect."

#ninjago #ninjao jay #ninjao cole #ninjago zane #ninjago kai #ninjago lloyd #ninjago rewrite #slight violence #angst #emotional damage tw #daddy issues #reanimated animals tw

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annakie · 3 years

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Patchy

A little under two years ago I made this post, a chronicle of Patchy, the outside feral, turned inside kitty who took ten years to learn to love being petted.

Today we got some bad news.

TW for pet illness under the cut.

Patchy’s always been a bit of a puker, usually oh, say, once a month or so she’d have a good puke for no reason. I’ve had other cats that are pukers so it’s not that surprising.

In the late winter/early spring I started to notice more frequent pukes.

I’d decided around that time that I needed to find healthier food for my cats, with Leela, the oldest turning 16, Fry turning 11, Pemily turning 7 and Patchy turning, I don’t know, 12 or 13. No way to really know. They already got decent food, but I did my research and had started looking at Blue Buffalo, American Journey and Dave’s canned food.

Patchy had been on a mostly canned food diet since she went to the vet back in early 2020 and had a bunch of teeth pulled. Also, as a note, Patchy’s brief flirtation with hanging out in the rest of the house ended after like a month. She and Fry fought too much, and eventually he claimed the rest of the house is his. He also still thinks the master bedroom should be his, but, Patchy defends that territory well if anyone else encroaches. (The door just stays closed most of the time.) I really wish they could have all gotten along, I loved having Patchy out, but both Fry and Patchy agreed it wasn’t going to work.

The food she’d been on was pretty junk-food-ish though, which she did love and eat. But I wanted everyone on more or less the same diet and the highest quality food I could readily get them. So I bought a lot of cans of different kinds of food, and kept a list of which ones seemed to be hits and misses. (I still have a dozen cans of the kind nobody liked -- Blue Buffalo Wilderness Salmon -- I’ve been meaning to take to the city shelter).

Around halfway into this experiment I noticed Patchy puking more, so I decided to try to stick with her favorite kinds, which, I thought was helping.

But once I was fully vaccinated this year, it was time to get all the pets to the vet. I noticed Patchy had still lost some weight, I thought it was due to switching around her food too much earlier, and tried to stick with the things I felt she really liked.

Then, of course, Leela got sick, spent two and a half days in the pet ER and almost died back in April, and then it was like... yeah we’re done being afraid of COVID, we’re done waiting. It’s time to get them all their checkups.

My regular vet was doing COVID restrictions so no pet owners inside the clinic back then, so they took Patchy (and the others) in without me. I thought Patchy had lost some weight, but Dr. B. sounded alarmed when he called me with how much lost she’d lost in the last year, about five pounds. He wanted to do some bloodwork for Patchy, and I said of course go for it.

He called back, sounding much calmer and was like “her bloodwork couldn’t be more perfect. Let’s try switching up her food, get her on some sensitive stomach food and let’s see how she’s doing in a couple weeks.”

So two weeks later it did seem like she was doing better, I called Dr. B back and he said to bring her back in a month.

It was my plan to take her back next week when I had some PTO coming. I admit, later than planned... my last couple of months have been mucn more focused on Leela... who, thankfully, continues to thrive. But feeling like my time with her is running out, she’s been my main area of concern.

The last few days though, Patchy has really not been eating well. Sometimes she does OK, sometimes nothing at all. And then puking every day. I swapped her back even to a few cans of the Junk Food (Whiskas) I still had laying around. She’d eat it... and then puke it up. And also she... stopped sleeping with me. I thought... well, it’s summer. It’s probably too hot to cuddle. But she stopped laying on the bed. She stopped coming up for pets when I come to bed and hang out for awhile specifically to spend time with her and pet her. She runs under the bed again when I come into the room. It’s like we regressed to three or four years ago... just two weeks after our two year anniversary of getting to pet her.

So this afternoon we went to the vet. Getting her into the carrier sucked. I tried nice methods, then I had to scare her into the closet by running the vacuum, and then pretty roughly grab her. I have scratches and a pretty deep bite on my thumb which either maybe hit a nerve or is infected, may have to go to the doctor for it tomorrow. (Yes, washed it thoroughly with soap as soon as I could.) I also hated betraying her trust that badly, but it’s for her own good. But it was rough.

Dr B. wasn’t working so I saw one of the other vets. I liked him. Also COVID restrictions are gone so I got to go inside. But after talking to him for a few minutes, going over her history and what changes I’ve made, he spent a long time rubbing her intestines (Patchy was perfectly behaved, at least.) Then he looked concerned. Then he said let’s do an ultrasound.

A few minutes he came back in and showed me her scans.

Lymphoma.

I was a bit stunned for a second so I missed a bit of the technical speak he said next, but it came down to the best thing we could do is give her some medicine that may buy her more time. It doesn’t sound like Chemo or Operating is even really an option. I’m going to call back tomorrow and see if Dr. B or the vet I talked to can talk me through it a little better now that I’ve had a chance to digest.

If I can get Patchy to take the medicine, and if she responds well to it... she may have 3 - 6 months left.

If she won’t take it, or if she doesn’t respond, it’s at this point, a matter of her comfort and quality of life. So... weeks. And I’m worried about getting her to take the medicine, especially since she won’t even come let me pet her and we just had a huge trust betrayal today. I don’t know if I could take her spending her last few weeks hating me, especially if the medicine doesn’t work.

The vet also told me that... I didn’t do anything wrong. And we did the right thing six or so weeks ago by changing her food and seeing if a few other things worked. Especially with how good her blookwork looked. He barely felt the cancer today, he said six weeks ago Dr. B wouldn’t have been able to feel it at all. And for this particular type of lymphoma... there’s not a lot to be done, anyway. That made me feel better, at least.

(As a really dumb side note, after I got her home, I sat down to eat dinner and watch an episode of Star Trek to take my mind off of all of this since I’d been crying since I found out, paid my bill, and drove home, stopping at a drive through so I didn’t have the mental load of cooking. And I’m in the middle of my rewatch of Enterprise. I bet any trekkies reading this can guess what episode was next in my rewatch because yep I’m in season two and A NIGHT IN SICKBAY started playing, of course, so obviously I NOPED THE FUCK OUT OF THAT EPISODE. For the non-Trekkies.... the Captain has a dog on board, an adorable beagle, Porthos. The dog gets sick and almost dies and spends his night in Sickbay. He does pull through. But the ONE episode centered around a beloved pet getting sick and almost dying... and that’s the episode that fate decreed I was supposed to watch tonight. I did not. I don’t know if I can watch it anytime soon.)

So now for the next few weeks I will spend my time being grateful that Leela is alive and thriving and pray she keeps doing so -- I will continue to give her extra love and care and attention, and also I will need to do the same for Patchy. I can’t even do it at the same time because Patchy will not come out here, and will not allow Leela in her room.

I am low-key freaking out that there’s the possibility of the nightmare scenario happening to me again. In winter 2016, after months of being sick, I woke up on Christmas morning and my 16-year-old cat Jim had died overnight. It was terrible, and traumatic, and I had to deal with everything all alone because anyone who could support me was... well, it was Christmas morning and my family was all out of town, too. Posting about it on Tumblr... actually really helped me, since it’s the only place I felt like I could talk about it.

That Christmas was on a Sunday.

Wednesday morning I woke up to hearing my dog, Cebu, moaning in pain. I rushed him to the vet, but whatever happened overnight, it was too late, maybe there wasn’t anything we ever could have done even if I’d been awake when the puking started. The vet said the kindest thing we could do was put him to sleep. And we did.

Also I just, JUST now realized that the vet who helped put Cebu to sleep was the same vet who I saw today about Patchy.

But I lost two of my pets within 3 days of each other. I was very lucky that my job let us have the week between Christmas and New Years off that year. I had a few days to pull myself together, and I needed it. It took months to recover totally, though. Every once in awhile I think about that week and I still cry, though. I miss them both so much and they both had deaths that were less than ideal.

I remember thinking then “I have like, five years of reprive. Leela will be sixteen in five years, and that’s when I have to start to worry again, when I have to be ready to say goodbye again.”

I thought then that even after that I’d have two or three years until Patchy would leave me, and two or three years past that until Fry. And then five more years with Pemily.

Right now I’m realizing that I will likely lose Patchy, very best case in six months, but possibly before July is over.

I need Leela to keep thriving. I don’t know how I would handle losing another two so close together again.

Patchy is... she’s the one who chose me. I chose my other cats. Fry and Pemily I plucked from the backyard when they were tiny kittens and brought them inside. They didn’t have a choice. Leela I adopted from a rescue, she didn’t have a choice. Patchy chose to stay. She chose to stick around when she realized I’d feed her. It took years but she learned to trust, she chose to come inside when it was cold, when it was hot, when it was storming, and when she was pregnant. She chose me to help raise the last litter of kittens she’d ever had. (My entire Rescue Kitties tag is full of adventures in finding, raising and usually adopting out strays. Lots and lots of posts about Patchy and her final litter. Been awhile since I’ve done it, though.)

I used to joke that Patchy was my roommate, not a pet. She ate, drank, did her business, and kept to herself for a long time. Don’t get me wrong, she was a very good, quiet, considerate roommate and I loved her. But it wasn’t until that wonderful day she let me pet her that I felt like she was my pet.

I loved having her just hanging out living in the house since 2014, but the last two years especially have brought me such joy. I’ve tried to never take Patchy’s trust in me for granted. It was EARNED. Every small step forward was a milestone to be celebrated. I worked for every bit of trust and love Patchy has given me, and have been rewarded. And it was worth it. Every minute. Every long, patient year.

Even now I’m telling myself... without me, she would have died years ago. Probably violently, or starved, maybe frozen to death. Getting to die of cancer brought on by older age is not something that most feral cats ever get to do. Getting to become an inside kitty where she’s loved, and comfortable for the second half of her life was something remarkable, brought on by her wiles and will to survive for so many years, bolstered by the food I left out for her. She’s had this much time, this much life, this much comfort and love that she would have never had otherwise, and that’s something to be happy about.

I’ve watched dozens of ferals come and go through my neighborhood throughout the years. I feed them, I work on seeing if I can get them to trust me enough to let me TNR them, but even those that I have, I don’t keep seeing for much longer. There’s one right now, I jokingly call him Patchy’s Boyfriend. He still won’t trust me and never has fallen for the trap when I’ve tried. But he’s there most nights when I feed him around 11. He’s getting terribly thin despite the quality food I leave out. I’ll miss him.

But none of them were Patchy. None of them became what she is to me. None of them survived long enough to adapt and decide to live another life.

Also? I wouldn’t have Pemily without her. Pemily is literally Patchy’s Granddaughter and that is one more thing I love Patchy for.

I feel guilty sometimes, both because I don’t spend nearly enough waking hours with her I feel, but I have three others who need me, as well. One who’s time is growing short, as well. And they don’t get to sleep with me, she does. What a joy it was all winter when I would wake up and she’d be sleeping on my chest. I’d get a bit annoyed when she’d sleep with her backside to my face and her tail would tickle my face and wake me up. I’m a side-sleeper half the night and she hated that it was harder to get comfortable on me that way. She still doesn’t want to have my hand just stay on her, she wants pets and skirtches, no long-form touching. That’s ok. I sleep better with her weight on me.

I don’t know what the next few weeks or months will hold, but at least pet-wise, it’s going to be rough. I’m going to wrap this up and give these three out here a good pet, then go hope Patchy comes and asks for love, too. Tomorrow is one more day with all four of them, and for that, I’ll be grateful, for every remaining day.

#personal post tag thingy #my pets #pet illness tw #pet death tw

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staircasttext · 3 years

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Ep 04 Transcript: Purr-fidy

Episode 4

[intro music]

PAZ: Hello everyone, welcome back to Stairway to Starclan, a Warriors Cat reread pawdcast. I'm Paz.

JULIAN: I'm Julian.

LIZ: I'm Liz.

PAZ: And we're back today to tackle some very action-filled chapters. And because the reading this week, we finally get to go to Moonstone and tangentially get some of that StarClan action, I thought we could all go to the official site where they let you ask the Moonpool a question. "Seek the wisdom of StarClan. Enter a question with a yes or no answer and let them guide your path." And I think we should give StarClan some questions.

JULIAN: Hell yeah.

PAZ: I wonder if they'll let you curse in this. Will warriorcats.com let you say fuck?

LIZ: Wait, wait.

JULIAN: There's a nice little shimmer when you click the Start.

LIZ: "This page is currently not supported on your platform."

JULIAN: Oh no.

LIZ: And I'm getting a little crying cat emoji.

JULIAN: What browser?

PAZ: I'm on Firefox too. It's working fine for me.

LIZ: You'll have to ask Moonpool questions for me.

PAZ: I'll ask you a question for you. Okay. I think the first pressing question is, are these cats gay? [typing] "StarClan lights your path with a yes."

LIZ: [gasps] Get a screencap. Oh my god.

JULIAN: Word of God.

PAZ: Word of God. You heard it here from StarClan. These cats are gay.

LIZ: You know it.

JULIAN: I have a question.

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: Will these cats be held accountable for their many crimes? "We have heard your call and answer in turn. StarClan sees a yes in your destiny."

PAZ: Oh.

JULIAN: All right, StarClan, get the tribunal together.

PAZ: Okay. These cats are going on trial for their war crimes. They're gay and they're going on trial. Liz, what's your question?

LIZ: Will warrior cats and kittypets ever reach an accord and maybe be friends?

PAZ: Okay, I'm asking. "The stars shine brightly in favor of yes."

JULIAN: Does this thing ever give you a no?

PAZ: I feel like StarClan might be a bit of a yes man.

JULIAN: I want to ask another question and see if we can get a no. Will it snow tomorrow? "The strength of Starclan is with you." It didn't tell me yes or no.

LIZ: Maybe it's like prophecy. You have to interpret it.

JULIAN: Oh, I see.

LIZ: Like do you need the strength because it'll snow.

JULIAN: Yeah, I think this may just never tell me no.

PAZ: Well, you know what? That means everything we say is right.

JULIAN: There you go.

LIZ: Can you ask it like, does my cat know that I love it? Yes. No. Not me personally because I don't have one.

PAZ: Okay, does my cat know that I love them? If it tells me yes-- "StarClan guides your question with a yes." I was about to say, if it tells me no, that'd be real sad. Well, I'm happy that everything I said now has the support of StarClan. So that was a fruitful visit to the Moonpool. And I think we can go into the summaries now.

LIZ: All right.

PAZ: Okay. So this week we read chapter 15 through 18. Chapter 15 follows Bluestar, Tigerclaw, and Firepaw into the cave as they travel to the Moonstone. It was pitch black and they all have to follow Bluestar by scent who knows the way. Firepaw notices that Tigerclaw seems very scared as they travel inside. When they actually reach the Moonstone, Tigerclaw gets so scared he runs out of the cave. Bluestar then sleeps by the Moonstone while Firepaw watches. When Bluestar wakes up she seems very worried and insists that they return to the ThunderClan camp immediately.

In chapter 16, the cats begin the journey back to camp. The three apprentices have a brief conversation and Graypaw notes that Ravenpaw seems very on edge whenever Tigerclaw is around. On the way back, the group meets a loner named Barley, who lives near a Twoleg farm. Barley warns them to go back a different way because the dogs from earlier are now loose in the field.

And Bluestar takes his advice and the different way leads them to be attacked by a bunch of rats. Everyone gets really battered, but Barley comes in to help them. Tigerclaw says Barley sent them into a trap, and Barley was like, No I did not. Then everyone realizes Bluestar is gravely injured, possibly dead, but she soon revives. Bluestar says she lost a life. When they finally began to move again, Tigerclaw very nonchalantly asks how many lives Bluestar has lost and she says this is her fifth.

In chapter 17, which is a hefty chapter, the cats finally arrive back to the ThunderClan camp, only to see it under attack by ShadowClan warriors as Bluestar saw in her vision. There is a huge cat battle happening in the camp, and everyone joins in. There are some action scenes, and then Firepaw is the shadow plan deputy kill an elder who is guarding the kits. Firepaw is unable to get there to rescue them because he's fighting another cat. And by the time he rushes to the nursery, the ShadowClan deputy is gone.

Yellowfang, who is inside, reveals that she fought him off to protect the kits. The battle soon dies down, and one of the queens publicly declares that Yellowfang saved the kits. Then Bluestar delivers the news that Lionheart, the ThunderClan deputy is dead. Graypaw is devastated. Firepaw realizes that the whole situation is exactly like a dream he had before. There are some scenes of various cuts morning and being looked at after the battle.

Bluestar then announces she has to declare a new deputy before moonhigh, and uh-oh, it's Tigerclaw. Next to Firepaw, Ravenpaw reacts in dismay and lets it slip that Tigerclaw took care of Redtail because he wanted to be deputy.

JULIAN: Duh-duh-duh.

PAZ: Chapter 18 opens with Tigerclaw overhearing the conversation and menacing Ravenpaw. Firepaw quickly salvages the situation by saying Ravenpaw was wishing Tigerclaw was there to take care of Lionheart as well. Ravenpaw refuses to speak to anyone after this interaction. Firepaw then goes to sleep and is woken up when Bluestar calls another meeting.

Tigerclaw speaks at the meeting, declaring that he has decided Bluestar must be guarded at all times by his lackeys, Darkstripe and Longtail. He says that no cat is allowed to approach Bluestar otherwise. Bluestar then asks Yellowfang to officially join ThunderClan, which Yellowfang accepts. Tigerclaw then insinuates that there is a traitor in the camp who must have fed ShadowClan information, and looks at Ravenpaw. Both Firepaw and Graypaw are worried for their friend.

Firepaw goes check on Yellowfang first, and they have a brief conversation about how Yellowfang misses the old ShadowClan, before Brokenstar became leader. She then tells him to roll around in garlic to help heal his rat bites. Firepaw tries to leave camp to get to the garlic patch, but Darkstripe refuses to let him out. So he sneaks out instead.

And on the way to the garlic, he overhears a conversation between Tigerclaw, Darkstripe, and Longtail. Tigerclaw lies to the two cats and says Ravenpaw left the group and must have gone to ShadowClan during the journey. He implies they need to kill Ravenpaw. The chapter ends with Firepaw racing back to camp in the hopes of convincing Bluestar of Tigerclaw's danger and Ravenpaw's innocence. And that ends that set of chapters.

JULIAN: Lot of intrigue.

PAZ: Yeah. We're getting to that murder plot mystery. Who could have seen this coming?

LIZ: Yeah, you know that Tigerclaw is so subtle. I never would have expected it.

PAZ: I'm shocked. I put down the book. I was so shocked. I also put down the book because that was the end of our reading.

JULIAN: I was trying to remember like, what my reaction was to this when I first read it as, you know, a fourth grader or whatever, but I could not remember. I think that I saw it coming. But I was still like upset.

PAZ: Yeah, because I read A New Prophecy first, I knew that Tigerclaw was evil like, because I mean, it's all in the past at that point. So I certainly was not surprised when I read the first book and the first book only.

LIZ: Well, I have never read these before. And you can definitely see it coming. And I think that's like good. Because it's like, yeah, this is your first big series as a kid. Author is laying down clues to lead to like a conclusion that makes sense, which is that Fire-- sorry, not Firepaw. Tigerclaw is a shady little bitch.

PAZ: Yeah, and I mean, I think there's nothing wrong with a mystery being obvious or predictable, especially not in kids media. Like, that whole shit with like Game of Thrones, where they changed the ending or whatever because someone predicted what would happen, and they were like... and it's like, that's just good storytelling if people can predict what's happening based on clues you've put in the text.

JULIAN: Congratulations, you've successfully deployed foreshadowing.

PAZ: Yeah, exactly.

JULIAN: I was into like Tigerclaw being like afraid of StarClan in the Moonstone. I thought that was neat. Some sort of like, yeah, he's shady. Also. The ancestors fucking hate him.

PAZ: Yeah. That was very funny and very like, evil cats go to hell. Good cats go to heaven. You can't enter our good vibes cave, you little piece of shit.

LIZ: Yeah, um, I would like to draw some comparisons between two great pieces of literature: the first Warrior Cats book and Hamlet.

PAZ: They're on the same level, I think.

LIZ: I mean, listen, there's the dude who commits a terrible secret murder and is shown to be super shady, and then he shows fear at the first mention of any sort of, like, mystic or religious kind of influence. Like, oh, I've sinned against StarClan. The parallels between Tigerclaw going into the cave and what's his name's, Hamlet's dad.

PAZ: Hamlet's dad?

JULIAN: Claudius?

LIZ: Hamlet's stepdad.

JULIAN: His uncle?

LIZ: Hamlet's uncle. I read Hamlet many times.

PAZ: C-something.

LIZ: Yeah. Claudius being like, praying because he did a bad murder and knows he's going to hell. It's the same thing. It's the same.

PAZ: It's the same.

LIZ: Can't believe Shakespeare totally just like cribbed the style from Warrior Cats.

PAZ: And Graypaw is Horatio. It's all there.

LIZ: He is Horatio, right down to the people shipping him with Firepaw.

PAZ: Yeah, exactly. Um, I mean, I guess I can kind of go in chronological order now that we've gone back to Moonstone cave.

JULIAN: I have an important question about Barley. But if we're still-- if we have more on the Moonstone.

PAZ: I guess the one other thing was like Alix's question from last week about Bluestar like planning this was on my mind, when she like, decides to take Firepaw into the cave. I wonder if she was like, hey, Starclan is this who you mean? If she was hoping to get some answers there?

JULIAN: Yeah, he did have like a prophetic dream. So that was cool.

PAZ: Yeah. But yeah, that's the only other thing I had to say about the cave chapter.

JULIAN: My Barley question was just um, does he got balls? What's his soul doing?

PAZ: That's a great question. I wonder if my Cats of the Clan book will give me insight. I don't have it on hand. Um.

JULIAN: Let me pull up the trusty wiki.

PAZ: I feel like barn cats in real life aren't often like neutered or spayed.

LIZ: I guess only if like people do a lot of catch and release, right? Like they do that.

PAZ: Yeah, which obviously they're not doing in the Warriors universe, or all these cats would be fucking snip snip.

JULIAN: [muffled shriek]

LIZ: That would be so terrifying as a warrior cat.

PAZ: I think warrior cats--

JULIAN: I found some very tasty information about Barley on the the wiki.

PAZ: I like Barley.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: So I couldn't find a way to see if maybe he had had any kits to see if that would tell us his ball status. No kits, um, is gay.

PAZ: What?

LIZ: Wait, what?

JULIAN: He's gay.

PAZ: Wow. Barley, gay king.

JULIAN: His partner is kind of a spoiler, I guess.

PAZ: Oh, I think I remember. I think I remember that.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: Wow, good for him.

PAZ: I didn't know they were officially partners.

JULIAN: Yeah, no, officially listed as a partner.

PAZ: Oh, fuck yes.

JULIAN: Barley's a gay.

PAZ: StarClan was right.

JULIAN: Gay ally and a gay.

LIZ: And Tigerclaw is homophobic. Of course.

JULIAN: You know what?

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: This whole story is about homophobia.

PAZ: Tigerclaw's like, that little fruit told us to come this way. He's betrayed us.

LIZ: Barley is a type of wheat, or grain.

JULIAN: And that's why Tigerclaw hates--

PAZ: Ravenpaw.

JULIAN: Right.

PAZ: My god, it's all coming together.

LIZ: I knew it.

PAZ: I do remember liking Barley because I think he shows back up in A New Prophecy because they, you know, go places. And he's like, chilling. And I was like, that's a cool cat. And now I know it's because I sensed a fellow in him.

LIZ: I just like his name a lot. That's a good name to have for a cat.

PAZ: It's a great barn cat name.

JULIAN: Oh, great news. Vicki believes that Barley will not go to StarClan when he dies as he lacks the necessary faith. No word about his balls, though. So he might still have them.

LIZ: He's an atheist.

PAZ: Does he go to that--

JULIAN: Kate however, believe that he'll live just on the outskirts of StarClan.

LIZ: Oh, there's some contention.

PAZ: What was that-- I was on the wiki looking at where like cats who don't go to StarClan and don't go to the Place of No Stars go. It was called like the something residence. Let me see if I pasted it.

LIZ: Just another neighborhood? Because that's what it sounds like. Yeah, it's like StarClan is like Los Angeles and the whatever residence is just the outer LA County.

PAZ: It's the ghost residence.

LIZ: Yeah, that's where I live.

JULIAN: Incredible.

PAZ: "The unnamed residence serves as a place for ghost cats, acting as a purgatory of sorts."

LIZ: That's still where I live.

PAZ: The ghost-- no, okay there's another residence. Unnamed residence. "This is a list of cats that currently reside or have resided in an unnamed residence. Cats in this category our cats that have died and been seen as spirits but do not reside in StarClan, The Place of No Stars, the Tribe of Endless Hunting, or as ghost cats."

JULIAN: I love that there are ghost cats.

PAZ: Me too. What?

LIZ: What?

PAZ: There's another gay cat in this place.

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: The gay cat that Liz doesn't know about yet. Unnamed residence is the gay commune of Warriors.

LIZ: You know what, good for them.

JULIAN: Stray cats go to heaven. Gay cats go to unnamed ghost residence.

PAZ: The homophobic cats do go to hell.

LIZ: Confirmed.

JULIAN: Yes.

PAZ: Yeah. Um, well, yeah, I love Barley. Um, it does lead to an extremely funny scene of rats attacking these cats and like, absolutely wrecking them. Like, they killed Bluestar. I was like, what the hell are these rats?

JULIAN: Maybe the rat situation is like, you know, these are like concerted rats. These are like, a lot of rats working in concert for a shared goal, which is to beat the fuck out of the cats.

PAZ: Oh my god, okay.

JULIAN: Like rats will like kill a baby.

PAZ: Will they? What?

LIZ: Probably.

JULIAN: I'm actually basing this off of the plot of the dog movie? Lady and the Tramp, which may not be accurate, now that I think about it.

PAZ: I think maybe that might be inaccurate. Um.

LIZ: Well, I've got a very reliable source and it is Dishonored. And rats will totally eat a cat and a baby. Like all the way to the bones right in front of you. Definitely.

PAZ: "Cats or rats? Rats win in New York hands down." I'm clicking. I want to learn.

JULIAN: This is an educational podcast.

PAZ: This is like Goku vs. Darth Vader. Who will win?

LIZ: Why do we have to pit two queens against each other?

JULIAN: Yeah, this study says that cats are not good predators of rats. The rats actively avoid the cats and the cats only recorded two rat kills in 79 days. That's not a good record.

PAZ: Damn. These cats really need to step it up. Well I guess-- this doesn't say anything about the rats killing the cats. But it does say that cats suck at fighting rats, I guess.

JULIAN: Yeah, I guess that's why we have like terriers for rats.

PAZ: Yeah. This article says that people see fewer rats and assume it's behavior-- it's because the cats have killed them, whereas it's actually due to the rats changing their behavior so the rats will just like leave.

JULIAN: I mean, that's not-- that's like, fine.

PAZ: Yeah, it achieves the same result.

JULIAN: I don't mind if the rats live in the sewers. They're allowed. I don't go down there.

LIZ: This is their city.

PAZ: It is their city. Well, I still think it's very funny that all these rats fuck them up.

JULIAN: It is. it's very good. Bluestar loses a life.

PAZ: She loses a life to these rats.

LIZ: Yeah, just like in Dishonored.

PAZ: Should have just gone on with dogs.

JULIAN: God. I also like, if I were Bluestar, I would not have told Tigerclaw my life count.

PAZ: No. Once again, she's--

JULIAN: I realize that she's very trusting but like, you can't tell him you only have four left. He's counting.

PAZ: That was so suspicious.

LIZ: He's just gonna bring some more rats.

PAZ: Like who is like, hey, like, how like-- what are your weaknesses? Can you tell me them? Can you make a list of them? Not for suspicious reasons. Thanks.

JULIAN: Yeah, deeply sus.

PAZ: Yes. I do also gotta shout out Barley for saving them and being the only one who knows how to kill rats apparently. He jumps in and fucking owns these rats.

LIZ: Yeah, he has--

JULIAN: He does a great job.

LIZ: --the rat eating term?

PAZ: In Dishonored? Yeah.

LIZ: He gets HP from it. Crunch.

PAZ: Oh, I looked down at my notes. I did indeed write "died to rats, dot dot dot... just like Dishonored."

LIZ: It's like in the same brain here. Okay, hold on, speaking of Barley, I googled him and there's on his Facebook page or something, there's just a picture of a regular black and white cat.

PAZ: Oh my gosh. That's his face cast.

LIZ: I love it.

JULIAN: That's him.

LIZ: Perfect part nose.

JULIAN: Are Barley and Chloe related?

PAZ: We have no choice but to stan Barley.

JULIAN: And they have this like horrible, brutal rat fight. And then they go straight to like, fucking horrible, brutal ShadowClan fight.

PAZ: I know.

JULIAN: It's just, it's out of the frying pan that's full of rats into the fire full of cats.

PAZ: That's what they always say.

JULIAN: That's how the saying goes.

PAZ: Yeah, shout out to the action sequences. They are fun. But--

JULIAN: They are fun. They're good to read.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Yeah, so the next next bit is the fight at ThunderClan cat camp. And it's kind of a bloodbath, huh.

JULIAN: Is it time to talk about war crimes?

PAZ: War crimes and murder. Uh-huh.

JULIAN: Yeah. Like, they go after the kits.

PAZ: Yeah. Julian, I did think about you saying, like, are they stealing the kits, which I still don't remember, cause it was described as Blackfoot, the ShadowClan deputy was like picking them up. I was like, oh, is he gonna whisk them away? But I don't know. We never find out.

We never find out.

LIZ: Also, that's an unfortunate name for a cat to have.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Yeah, that is-- that already belongs to something. And you should not be using it.

JULIAN: Yeah...

PAZ: British authors not doing their research, I guess. Or...

LIZ: Yeah. Hey, there's eight of you. I know you're all very old, but come on.

JULIAN: Also, I feel like you know, Harper Collins is... I'm sure they have a UK imprint. But like there are also editors in the US. Surely someone should have, uh.

LIZ: Someone out there must know what Google is.

PAZ: Yeah. Hopefully that character dies soon. We don't have to see the name anymore.

LIZ: They use that name so much in this chapter.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: But yeah, back to the kittens, right?

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: Yep.

PAZ: A cat does just die also. He kills one of the old cats, cold blood.

JULIAN: Yeah, I'm looking at the Wikipedia page for war crimes.

LIZ: Like in general?

PAZ: Yeah? Do you have a list? Do you have a list of what constitutes a war crime?

JULIAN: Well, so there's a lot of them. But intentionally killing civilians or prisoners is definitely one of them. So I think killing an elder kind of counts.

PAZ: Check that off.

JULIAN: Yep. Destroying civilian property. They did destroy the camp. So that's one. They did not take any hostages. So that doesn't count. I don't know what performing a perfidy is.

PAZ: Me neither.

JULIAN: Oh, it's when you like, lie about... Basically, you're like, oh, I'll make a peace treaty and then you don't.

LIZ: So is that spelled--

PAZ: Mm, I don't think they did that.

JULIAN: P-e-r-f-i-d-y. Perfidy.

LIZ: Not p-u-r-r-f-i-d-y?

JULIAN: [cackles] Damn. We don't see any child soldiers onscreen. At least I don't think so.

PAZ: Are the apprentices child soldiers, though?

JULIAN: Are the apprentices here?

PAZ: They're not...

JULIAN: How old are they?

PAZ: The book says apprentices are more than six moons old.

JULIAN: I mean, you're basically an adult cat.

PAZ: So most of them are probably under a year. Yeah, I guess they're like adolescent, I don't know. Yeah.

LIZ: Teen?

JULIAN: Like, it's not great, but.

PAZ: Yeah, they get away. They get away with that. Not a war crime.

JULIAN: Pillaging? Oh, looting. Um, I mean, they don't take anything. So I don't think they pillage.

LIZ: No. There's not really anything to take this except like food and maybe medicine. There's not a lot of like, property.

PAZ: Yeah, unless they take those kits.

LIZ: Well, that's a person.

JULIAN: Well, that would be-- that would be taking a hostage.

PAZ: Okay, yeah.

JULIAN: Declaring that no quarter will be given, which they did at the gathering. So that was sort of a pre-war war crime.

PAZ: Really talented.

JULIAN: And then it just says "seriously violating the principles of distinction, proportionality, and military necessity." And I don't know what the fuck that means, but I think we can check it off.

PAZ: Yeah, I think they do that.

LIZ: It's quite a count already.

JULIAN: Yeah, they're not doing great.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Yeah, this book also absolutely does not shy away from like death.

LIZ: Nuh-uh.

PAZ: Like on screen death too.

JULIAN: Onscreen death. Like very brutal onscreen death of like the elderly.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Right off the jump.

PAZ: Yeah, it's like, very soon after the chapter starts.

LIZ: Yeah, and the part where that one cat is trying to get at the the kits. That's very distressing. Like there is--

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: Like, whether it's for a hostage or just, you know, straight up child murder. There is definitely like the threat implied in a very effective way.

PAZ: Yeah, I mean, like, good job to the book for making like, a distressing battle scene. Like, because it did. It did. It was like, intense.

JULIAN: Yeah, yeah, I was watching a lot of Warrior Cats AMVs this afternoon. And a lot of the many great animators in the Warriors AMV community have really picked up on the style of the books, which is very bloody.

PAZ: Great, because that's important, essential aspect of the book. It's in the name.

JULIAN: Yep.

LIZ: Yeah, these are not peacetime cats.

JULIAN: No. These are... I am really glad that Yellowfang got to save the kits and redeem herself.

LIZ: Yay.

JULIAN: Good for her.

PAZ: She's so cool.

LIZ: She's the best.

JULIAN: She's so cool.

PAZ: Old, like badass lady. And then Bluestar is like, you're so cool, Yellowfang, haha, will you join my clan?

LIZ: What if we were both old lady cats and I asked you to join my clan? Haha, just kidding, unless.

PAZ: You should make an edit for that. Post to Twitter. I'm sad we don't get to see her fight on screen.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah, I would have liked that.

LIZ: It's a good moment to have it. We're almost at the end of-- we're like at the last quarter of the book?

PAZ: We're very-- more than a quarter.

LIZ: I don't know, I switch between like--

PAZ: I think we're about like 70% done, 75% done.

JULIAN: Let me see. We're 69.3% done.

PAZ: Oh nice, nice.

LIZ: Nice, nice.

PAZ: I did write down, "all these cats are dying. Just go live inside, idiots." Which, I'm like reading these horrible battle scenes. And I'm like, if you were just kittypets, you wouldn't have to deal with any of this shit. No rats. No cat murder.

JULIAN: It's true. No one is gonna tear your throat out if you just live here.

LIZ: Just Temptations and cushions.

JULIAN: If you live in my house on the heated bed I bought.

PAZ: I was absolutely right about the Lionheart death flag.

LIZ: Uh-huh.

PAZ: Fucking typed it. I was like, wow, I called it.

LIZ: What was it that Graypaw said before they left, like I will always remember what you taught me.

PAZ: Yeah, it's like, exactly. I was like, this is a little...

JULIAN: Like, oh, good job, Graypaw. You doomed him.

LIZ: Just start--

PAZ: I wonder-- Oh, go ahead.

LIZ: No, just start saying shit like that every time you say bye to anyone. Like I will always [dissolving into laughter] remember you.

PAZ: Oh no.

JULIAN: You just never thank your mentor. That way he'll never die.

PAZ: Yeah, I do wonder if Tigerclaw-- I assume Tigerclaw murdered him as well. Or rather than it being a happy accident, but I don't know.

JULIAN: I also assume that. I don't think there's any way that, given Tigerclaw's significant looks at Ravenpaw, that Lionhart died of ShadowClan-related causes.

PAZ: Well, I assume that significant looks are just still like Redtail-related like, don't give out my secret, but it would really suck for Tavenpaw if he had to watch this, like, shitty guy kill another person.

JULIAN: He has so many traumas.

PAZ: Poor Ravenpaw.

LIZ: Ravenpaw's just Hamlet but like without any... He's not angry. He's just sad.

JULIAN: Well, he's like, he's Hamlet. But he also like he doesn't have any of the doubt.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: He just saw it happen.

PAZ: You know that video of the guy yelling at the cat in the store, like I'm gonna get you out of there? That's me with Ravenpaw.

LIZ: Ravenpaw, come into my house. [everyone laughing]

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: Get a Temptations every other day. I think that's-- I don't know what's healthy to give cats. Like what's the rate of Temptations?

PAZ: Probably not too many.

JULIAN: I feel like you can get them like a treat a day.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: One treat.

LIZ: You'll get a Temptations every day.

JULIAN: I don't know, though, cause last time we went to the vet, the vet said we had to feed Chickpea less, so my calibration may be off.

PAZ: Tigerclaw's really setting Ravenpaw up to take the fall.

LIZ: Mm-hmm.

PAZ: And I don't know why anyone would believe him because that's like a young adult. That's like a-- that's like if you were pointing at like a high school senior and being like, they committed these war crimes, not me.

LIZ: They killed the vice president and the other vice president.

PAZ: And now that I'm vice president, that means nothing. It was this teenager.

JULIAN: Well, it's also a teen that he's responsible for. Like if your apprentice grows up and becomes like a conniving little shit, isn't that partly your fault? Like, if you're so mean to your apprentice that he runs into the welcoming arms of ShadowClan, which he didn't, but like if he had.

PAZ: Yeah, I wouldn't blame him.

JULIAN: You know, I think I think it's a little bit on you.

PAZ: Yeah. Where is the accountability in like this mentorship program?

LIZ: He's not even--

JULIAN: The unpaid internship.

LIZ: Ravenpaw's not even that conn-- he's just like, terrified so he doesn't talk to anybody.

JULIAN: Yeah. But like, Tigerclaw is making him out to be this like, big sneaky, you know,basically being like, all these things that I did, this person that I am, that's Ravenpaw.

PAZ: The fact that he already has like lackeys, is like so much. Tigerclaw does. But it seems like he's like lying to them versus them knowing he's trying to do a weird takeover.

JULIAN: Yeah, I mean, I think Longtail at least, it was like, easily persuaded to to believe in like, this secret outside conspiracy because he was the one who attacked Firepaw at the beginning.

PAZ: Yeah. Didn't we read the other day that Longtail is Ravenpaw's like, sibling?

JULIAN: Oh, you're right.

LIZ: That sucks.

JULIAN: I think he's his half-sibling. That sucks.

LIZ: Aww, Ravenpaw.

PAZ: Man.

LIZ: He's getting like a really raw deal.

PAZ: He really is. If the book was from his perspective, it would be so sad.

LIZ: My sibling hates me enough to conspire against me. Or at least believe that I'm a terrible murderer.

JULIAN: Poor little guy.

LIZ: My mentor hates my guts and also is trying to frame me for murder.

PAZ: Yeah, and it takes Firepaw so long to figure out what's happening.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: It has to be explicitly spelled out for him.

PAZ: Yeah, literally.

JULIAN: Like, he doesn't figure shit out.

PAZ: Yeah, Ravenpaw just says something and then he overhears it.

LIZ: Firepaw is so very dumb.

PAZ: It's so funny too, because Yellowfang has like a section where she's praising him for being clever. And I'm like, Yellowfang, he's so stupid. There's nothing going on upstairs.

LIZ: It's air. It's just fluff.

JULIAN: Is Firepaw a himbo? The greatest thread.

LIZ: Since we're talking about Ravenpaw too, the part where later on Bluestar asks him to go train with her alone, where no one's gonna bother them. And he's like, I should tell her about Ravenpaw and Tigerclaw. And he's like I should tell her. I should tell her, and he just forgets.

JULIAN: He was too overwhelmed by her girl boss, uh. Her girlboss nature.

LIZ: It's very overwhelming, true.

JULIAN: I do think like Tigerclaw appointing bodyguards to-- "bodyguards," quote unquote, to like, prevent anyone from ratting on him, was a very savvy move, even though it's like patently evil. It was smart.

PAZ: He's a decent conniving villain for a kids' book in which the protagonist is very stupid and doesn't realize what's going on.

LIZ: And just forgets key points.

PAZ: He has a little cat brain. How's he supposed to remember all that?

LIZ: His friend's gonna die! Okay, but yeah, the guard thing is like very smart. Feels really ominous too because like there's an extra layer of removal of Bluestar from like everyone else.

PAZ: Yeah, he's like already like, taking over like public power by, like putting her behind a wall, essentially.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Security theater baby.

PAZ: Yeah, there's also like another like thread of-- I mean, like the continuing thread of intrigue with like what happened with Yellowfang and ShadowClan because she kind of drops more like, oh, everything was fine till Brokenstar was leader. So that's also a mystery we have going on.

LIZ: Um, yeah, there's a cute section when she's talking about like what ShadowClan used to be like. And I think she and Firepaw are like joking about like, who replaced her as the medicine cat, and she's like, oh, not Runningnose.

PAZ: Yeah, like, he can't even cure his own cold. It's cute.

LIZ: Hey, maybe it's allergies. Don't be mean. Cats get allergies.

PAZ: Cats also get chronic infections.

LIZ: That's what Oliver has, right?

JULIAN: Especially if they live in the outdoors and won't visit the vet.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Like, wow, a whole bunch of nonvaccinated, fighting cats on the brink of starvation all the time feel sick. No shit.

JULIAN: It's okay though. They have berries.

PAZ: Why are they doing that? Go inside.

JULIAN: I do have a-- when Darkstripe tells Firepaw that he can't go roll in the garlic, which is just really funny as a premise. But also, Firepaw like mutters under his breath, "Dirtstripe," which is such a teen thing to do.

PAZ: Got them.

LIZ: Owned, wow.

JULIAN: It's such like a shitty little teen move. It's really fun.

PAZ: It's very funny.

LIZ: You're not my real dad, Darkstripe. I will roll in the garlic if I want to. God.

PAZ: Do we think rolling in garlic has any medical backing, or?

LIZ: Smelly.

PAZ: Cause it's very funny.

LIZ: Smelly cat.

JULIAN: So garlic is-- like I don't know about the greens of it, but like garlic bulbs are antibacterial, like slightly.

PAZ: Oh, okay.

JULIAN: Which is why, like if you have a throat infection, sometimes like doing like a garlic rinse can be sort of helpful.

PAZ: Good to know.

JULIAN: Not a doctor, not a doctor. But yeah, I think that's where they're getting that.

LIZ: Just like the picture of like this. Like Firepaw at this point is like, not an adult but like the kind of teen cat that's all like gangly, I bet.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: And just picturing that like having a fun time in some garlic is so good to me.

PAZ: I do love it. [inaudible] a good picture of these little cats doing stuff.

LIZ: He's a garlic boy.

JULIAN: And then he overhears a conspiracy.

PAZ: Yeah, very very classic of the villains to just openly talk about their evil moves.

JULIAN: Well, they said no one could leave so I'm sure it'll be fine.

PAZ: Yeah. I mean, I don't-- I think, I mean that covers everything.

JULIAN: I have just, uh, "that'll go well" about him going to talk to Bluestar.

PAZ: Yeah, Firepaw, I think you might also get blamed.

LIZ: God.

JULIAN: Yeah, all is not well in the kingdom of ThunderClan.

PAZ: No.

LIZ: I'm still just a little like, aghast that he does, he just forgets. I know she's the most amazing girl boss you've ever seen. But oh my god.

PAZ: It's fine. He's--

JULIAN: He's just a stupid little boy.

LIZ: I know. He's orange too. He's a little orange cat, you know.

PAZ: Yeah, he's gonna go work on it now. It'll be fine.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Bless him.

PAZ: Should we move on?

LIZ: Yes.

PAZ: Maybe get some levity after the war crimes chapter.

LIZ: So we've returned to wikiHow, a wonderful font of knowledge and activity. And this article is called "How to host a Warrior Cats themed birthday party." Who's birthday is coming up in June so, a little...

PAZ: Mine's in August.

JULIAN: Mine's in July. Lotta summer babies here.

LIZ: Well, we got time to prep then.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: Yeah. I want to note that this was last updated June 20, 2020. There are 26 co-authors.

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: And 42,000 views. So you know this is a good, good peer-reviewed article.

LIZ: Yeah, let me give you the blurb that will entice everyone in. "Do you sleep, dream, smell, and eat Warriors? Do you want to have a party sleepover for your birthday based on the books? Well, this guide to a snappy party is a great idea." It's also available to download as a PDF just so you know, in case you need it.

JULIAN: Oh good, so you can print it out.

PAZ: Yeah, and check it off.

LIZ: And you know, in the wikiHow to set up their beautiful, beautiful illustrations that-- I don't know, is it legal for us to post wikiHow images?

PAZ: I don't know.

JULIAN: Yeah, they're public domain.

PAZ: I mean, they're all traced, so really, how can they get on our case?

JULIAN: I'm really pretty sure they're Creative Commons. I think we're good.

LIZ: Yeah. Okay, so let's plan. "One, make sure your parents agree." So, let's go check.

[laughter]

PAZ: Uh....

JULIAN: Wait, I need to call my dad. Why does-- I just want to describe to our listeners, um, the parent in this image has the largest nose I have ever seen.

PAZ: You could land the plane on that.

JULIAN: It's like, you know the phrase, a ski jump nose. This is a ski jump.

LIZ: Because we're seeing the back of his head so it's the perspective, that's all. This is a front nose on--

JULIAN: It looks like a Hershey's Kiss is stuck on his face.

LIZ: This young man asking his parent for permission looks very smug, too, so I think he got a yes on that. "Step two, start planning early."

JULIAN: Oh, we're doing step two.

PAZ: Well, we are, because we're all summer birthdays.

LIZ: There's a picture of a person looking very determined, with a little three mouth. And that's because this is about cats. "Invite a couple of people to the party. See if they like the idea of having a Warrior Cats theme." Okay, well, I don't know whose birthday we're actually celebrating, so we're all invited in a circle.

JULIAN: There we go.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: You guys okay with the theme?

PAZ: I love it.

JULIAN: Yes.

LIZ: Wonderful, wonderful. Okay, we're getting to the meaty part of things. "Part two: decorations." Now to just give you a word picture of what's going on, there's a sort of cushion bench chair thing, covered in sticks and leaves. The floor is also covered in leaves. The wallpaper has grass on it. There are paw prints on the wallpaper and the floor. There is a separate panel of just a spider web, with a spider in it. And there's another panel of some-- seaweed?

PAZ: It's vines.

LIZ: Vines.

JULIAN: The green silk or fabric.

LIZ: Does anyone else want to have a have a stab at reading this? It's very good.

JULIAN: Sure. "First, decorate. Before your guests arrive, decorate your houses with posters, paw prints, and anything else that will complement the theme. If you have any party games, make sure you have anything you need for those games. Instead of decorating the whole room, make a fort and say it's the den, and fill the blanket draped chairs with the items suggested. To make it even more forest like, you could use camouflage blankets and cover them with sticks and leaves, if strong enough."

I'm not sure if that's the sticks, or the blanket. "Take out spider webs from Halloween and decorate a few corners with the spider webs. Cover doorways with green silk or fabric, and cut some of the fabric into slivers, making a vine-themed door entranceway."

LIZ: Finally a use for my green silk.

JULIAN: I'm just, if I were an adult and my kid is like, I want to have a Warriors-themed birthday party, I'd be like, Oh, sweet. That sounds fun. And then they brought a bunch of sticks and leaves into my house, I would not be thrilled.

PAZ: Yeah, it doesn't specify like fake sticks and leaves. I think it just means you're, like, go out into your garden.

LIZ: That's authentic to the books. You have to.

JULIAN: It is.

LIZ: This also sounds like something a kid would absolutely do.

PAZ: Absolutely.

JULIAN: Oh, step two. "Make each room a den." They have suggestions for each of the rooms. How many rooms do they think your house has, cause this is a lot. They have a kit's room with pillows and stuffed animals, and spiderwebs scrunched into soft play balls, which apparently is a thing that kits play with.

LIZ: Aw.

JULIAN: A warriors den, a leaders den for the largest, least occupied room. An apprentice den, "which can be made just like the warriors den, but larger, and less comfortable." [laughter]

"Make the medicine cat's den. Outside, in the kitchen, or by a window would be the best place, because there are plants you can use to heal. For the comfort of the person who volunteers to be the medicine cat, place down multiple blankets on top of one another, to get that carpet effect, just like inside. Use a brown or blue tarp to make a ceiling, and add cozy green spiderweb beds, and the best pillows you got. Offer spoons, forks, sticks, and ground-like bowls to be able to make the treatments. To ensure your medicine cat is comfy and not lonely, ask a friend to be the apprentice of the medicine cat." Yeah, it would suck to be the medicine cat.

PAZ: So is everyone separating into their room and not interacting? Is this how the birthday party goes?

JULIAN: They have instructions for making the High Rock, and a fresh kill pile. Um.

LIZ: We should--

JULIAN: And then we get to games.

LIZ: We should describe the fresh kill pile.

PAZ: It's very good.

JULIAN: Oh yeah, you're right, I'm sorry.

LIZ: It is a cardboard tree stump drawn pretty well and also shaded, and some green pillows surrounding it, and a bunch of stuffed animals. There is a panda, a teddy bear, a lion, some sort of pink horse thing, and a monkey. You know, regular parts of a cat diet.

PAZ: And the final step in the decoration part is, "decorate the forest, or, quote, 'forest'. Your outside or quote, 'forest' can be a room decorated with cardboard cutouts of trees, spiderwebs, and badger holes. Under furniture you can place a skunk, or borrowed stuffed animal, green moss, or a fake river." I think you should just use the actual forest.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: What if we don't have a forest? What if you live in, say, just shot in the dark here, LA County, where--

PAZ: Don't.

LIZ: Okay.

PAZ: Problem solved.

LIZ: Everyone's telling me that lately.

JULIAN: Just move.

LIZ: [claps] All right, part three.

JULIAN: Part three is games, which is really important.

LIZ: One for the gamers here.

PAZ: Okay, "step one, welcome each guest, maybe with a dip of your head or a whisper of 'Welcome to the home of the clans.'"

JULIAN: The next picture. [dissolving into shriek-laughter]

PAZ: The art for this is extremely good as well. So we have-- it's featuring that beautiful green silk vine curtain from before. And in front of it is a girl, in like-- doing that like butler pose, where it's like, come in, sir. Except she's wearing a black t-shirt, and nothing else except a black bow tie and a cat ears headband with cat face paint.

LIZ: She also has these um, these side bangs that are very like 2010-specific. Maybe earlier.

JULIAN: I was specifically losing my shit over the next picture, for "start with some roleplay."

LIZ: This is our new header image.

JULIAN: Which features some incredibly drawn visitors who have attended this party, all wearing all black, all wearing those same drawn on whiskers. There's some really interesting things happening with their faces. And the girl in the back is on all fours.

LIZ: She's doing it right.

JULIAN: She is, she's--

PAZ: Dedicated to her role.

JULIAN: "Once everyone has arrived, why not pretend to be warrior cats?"

Why not?

"Everyone could be one RP character-- roleplay-- and one real warrior. If you have the time, you could make name badges." So you have the time to spray paint spider webs green to make moss, but you couldn't make name badges? So everyone can remember who Pinestar is?

PAZ: You hit the deadline.

LIZ: Is that a soap? It sounds like soap.

PAZ: It really does. Moving on to step three of games, "have a hunting party. People can hide stuffed animals while others try to find a stuffed animal with a number they were assigned to written on a card around their neck."

JULIAN: I like the next one a lot.

PAZ: Yeah, we can just move on to four.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Sorry, the art for number three for having a hunting party is very good. It's a child with a cat hat, just really smirking.

LIZ: At a little giraffe stuffed animal.

JULIAN: But game number four, "have a twisted version of egg toss."

PAZ: Welcome to my twisted mind.

JULIAN: "Have everyone pair up and give each pair a spoon. Fill water balloons up with dyed water." Nothing to do with cats.

PAZ: That's so twisted.

LIZ: What's the catness?

PAZ: Uh, you know. Self-explanatory.

JULIAN: You know, cats.

PAZ: Number five, "come up with a collect a resource game. In this game, each den will be removed of its items and hidden among the forest. Teams assigned to each den must collect the items and amount wanted. Give them a checklist to cross off items safely brought back to the den. The first to bring back and arrange the interior like before everything was pooled will get prized with an extra piece of fresh kill and a new piece of bedding from leftover pieces not collected."

LIZ: The image for this is--

JULIAN: My favorite part of a birthday party, resource management.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Can we--

JULIAN: Sorry Liz, please describe the image.

LIZ: Yeah, it is a picture of four people. There is a just a camping tent and two of the black jumpsuited cat headband ear wearing people are sneaking into it, while two other people in just shorts and shirts, holding a giant caterpillar and different colored hats of of cat like description are walking away totally unaware. I think this is a war crime. This is looting, I think.

JULIAN: Oh, you're right, this is looting. This is pillaging.

LIZ: War crime. Number five, commit some war crimes.

PAZ: Yeah. Gotta be accurate. Number six, "play pin the tail on the warrior. Select a cat from one of the books and make a large cardboard cutout of this cat, and make its tail separately. Put a pin or tack on it to make it stick to the back of the cat." Now which cat do we want to do this to?

LIZ: Longtail. Obviously.

PAZ: Haha, No-tail. [laughter] Got 'em.

JULIAN: How long until Firestar-- sorry, Firepaw does that?

LIZ: In the heat of battle, haha, No-tail.

PAZ: Number seven, "do some more evening activities. Once you've eaten, maybe you could play some Warrior Cat games with your friends on the Internet. In the evening, have a mini battle– doesn't have to last long– and then a gathering, if your party is on a full moon. Lucky you. Otherwise, make an exception just for the party." Well, there are many Warrior Cats games to play with your friends on the internet. So great suggestion.

LIZ: Start a podcast. That's a game, basically.

JULIAN: There you go. That's a game. That's a game that keeps on giving.

PAZ: Number eight, "sleep over, if that's part of the plan. Not all birthday parties need to be sleepovers, but they can be lots of fun. In the morning, depending on the time you wake up, you could play some party games or read books and have breakfast." This does picture people sleeping outside in a tent. Should we move on to part four?

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yes.

PAZ: Food.

LIZ: Okay, so step one of food is "make dinner Warrior Cats themed too. When it's time for dinner, call it fresh kill instead, and ask everyone what they would like. Obviously don't really serve mice at the table. Think of something everyone would enjoy, maybe something fresh, like a pizza you can have delivered to your house." So, this is the--

PAZ: Same thing.

LIZ: The image is the previous fresh kill image from before, with all the stuffed animals, but, um, the children are sitting and having a great time with pizza, just chomping down. Makes me, you know, makes me think we should do this.

PAZ: They have more suggestions for food in step two.

LIZ: Okay, "provide lots of meaty foods. Food is fresh kill warriors, so you must get something close to meats, Think, think, think. Have meat skewers, steak, meatballs, pepperoni, salami, and hamburgers. Anything with tasty meat will do. If you have a vegetarian, then offer veggie patties, cheese, and anything that sticks to the theme."

PAZ: Wait, why does cheese stick to the theme?

JULIAN: How does cheese...

LIZ: Wait.

JULIAN: You know. Fresh killed cheese.

PAZ: I mean my cat right now is extremely into eating cheese, so I guess...

LIZ: Yeah, see, it's accurate. The image for this is just some food. There are kebabs. You know, like cats enjoy. Just like a whole steak, you know, like children should have. A very smooth sliced hot dog, and just a burger. Just a burger with the cheese on entirely different levels of the burger, which is new to me. Like there's multiple cheese. Okay.

JULIAN: My favorite image is--

LIZ: In three.

JULIAN: Step 3, the birthday cake.

LIZ: Yes. "Get a birthday cake. The best birthday cake can have something printed on it, such as the cover of your favorite book from the Warriors series, or a map of the territory. Some local businesses in your city may offer custom cakes. Even better as some may even be able to design a 3D landscape." That is not what's on this cake that they've shown us and--

PAZ: It's a beautiful cake. It's so good.

LIZ: It's so much better. Yeah, it's a round yellow cake with just a little-- like just a huge cat face on top of it, and a candle. It's very happy looking. And then there's like little black and white cat silhouettes like around it.

PAZ: I want this to be my cake.

LIZ: It could be.

PAZ: It's so good.

JULIAN: It's so good.

PAZ: The face on top is so good.

LIZ: Beautiful. What flavor do you think it is?

PAZ: Um, red velvet because it's red inside like fresh kill.

LIZ: Got it.

JULIAN: Oh, we don't have to go through the whole Q&A but the first one is I think very important. Um, "what do I have for food if I have a vegan friend?" And the answer is, "provide berries and greens for them to eat. Warrior cats use them for medicinal purposes, but you can pretend they are an elder or a sick cat."

PAZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: If you're vegan, you're old or sick. "You can also just ask your vegan friend what they like to eat and provide that." Yeah, I would go with that one, animebread.

LIZ: That's exactly the answer you'd--

JULIAN: wikiHow user anime bread.

PAZ: Here's another question, "how do I not be embarrassed about my Warrior Cat party?"

LIZ: Aw.

JULIAN: Aw.

PAZ: "It's a decision you make just not to care what others think. Of course, if you're selective about who you invite, you'll be less embarrassed. Invite friends who will enjoy this kind of party." If your friends have a problem with your Warrior Cat party, then they're fake. They're fake friends.

LIZ: Okay, these questions are really good. I have one more. "What if my friends make up unreal Warrior Cat names such as Fluffyhead?" This is a community answer. "Just tell them that it makes no sense, or provide everyone with a name badge at the start of the party using names you've chosen. Of course it's important that everyone have a good time, so it's fine to loosen the rules a little bit for your friends."

JULIAN: God.

PAZ: Isn't there a canonical cat Fuzzy-- like Fuzzypelt?

LIZ: Yeah, that's--

JULIAN: There is, yeah.

PAZ: I would say Fluffyhead is accurate.

LIZ: Yeah, he's like Ravenpaw's dad. That's like an immediate connection.

PAZ: I think Fluffyhead is a perfect name, and if you come to my Warrior Cat party, you can have that name.

LIZ: Oh, there's some tips and warnings.

JULIAN: Oh good.

LIZ: The best one from tips to me is "ask older siblings to be rouges." Not rogues, rouges, "who hate the Clans. Maybe they could get their friends to help making a rouge group."

JULIAN: You know what I love about a birthday party, built in bullying.

LIZ: For your older siblings specifically.

JULIAN: The warning about, "make sure everyone is comfortable with the battles, or anything else you may be doing," and then "make sure nobody gets hurt."

LIZ: Very important.

PAZ: That's good advice all around.

LIZ: Yeah, So we've got three months till any birthdays happen. Better get planning. I wanna see those cardboard cutouts.

JULIAN: We got time to plan.

LIZ: Just ready.

PAZ: I'm going to give this five stars.

JULIAN: Do we each have to provide our own?

LIZ: Communal effort, you know. They have the fresh kill pile, we have the freshly made and painted cardboard scenery pile. This made me want pizza. That one person in the corner on the right, eating that pizza at the Warrior Cats party is just having the best time I think.

PAZ: Yeah, I could go for some pizza too.

JULIAN: Well, is that it for us?

PAZ: Yeah, I mean, we covered the war crimes and we covered the party, and I think that's all. So, thanks everyone for joining us again this week. May StarClan light your path. [outro music begins] Bye.

LIZ: Bye.

JULIAN: Bye.

[outro music ends]

PAZ: I'm gonna post some little Barley art. Very handsome.

LIZ: Love to see some Barley. Oh, he's a little cow.

PAZ: Black and white cat.

JULIAN: Aw, he's just a little guy.

PAZ: He is a little cow.

LIZ: I love that. Is this official?

PAZ: Uh, no, this is Warrior-- he has official art but it's the weird manga art style that I--

LIZ: He deserves better than that.

PAZ: His pants.

LIZ: Oh my god, pants.

PAZ: Anyway, back to the rats.

JULIAN: Um, yeah, the rats, I guess it's like a sort of...

LIZ: Wait, I'm listening and I can't. It's gone. Sorry, Julian, Julian.

#into the wild ep #transcript #ep 04 #purr-fidy

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etherealwaifgoddess · 4 years

Text

Run To You - Chpt.5

Summary: Bucky & Steve’s date has some unintended consequences forcing Bucky to make some hard decisions. Master list is HERE :)

Content Warnings: Attempted child abduction. Emphasis on ATTEMPTED. Becca will be fine ya’ll.

Word Count: 5.5k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! Remember last chapter where I was like “oh hey enjoy this unusually large chapter”? Well, I went to write a normally sized chapter and my hand slipped. Whoops! Enjoy another giant beast chapter lovelies! And don’t hate me for the angst!! I promise this fic has a happy ending, it’s just a long road to get there. XOXO - Ash

Chapter Five

Bucky wakes to bright light streaming in his bedroom window and Becca sitting on top of him. “Wake up sleepy head!” she chirps, shoving his shoulder as hard as she can.

“Whoa, calm it down little miss.” Bucky grumbles.

“I’m gonna be late!”

Bucky looks over at the alarm clock and realizes she’s right. “Shit.”

“Bad word!!”

“Becca!” Bucky snaps and instantly regrets it. “Quieter, bug. Please. Come on, let’s get moving.”

Bucky hurries Becca through her morning routine, grabbing her tiny backpack and breakfast on their way out the door. Bucky knows he’s a mess, hair sloppily thrown up in a bun, sweatpants and a hoodie because he just can’t take the time to find real clothes. He doesn’t even bother to throw on his prosthetic. Becca nibbles at her string cheese and mini muffins as they hustle down the busy city sidewalks to her school, just finishing as they round the last corner. He gives her a quick hug and kiss before she runs into the building screeching hello to the teacher at the door. The teacher gives Bucky an odd look that he chalks up to him looking like a hot mess and he gives her a small wave and terse smile in return.

It’s early yet and Bucky doesn’t have to worry about work for a few more hours so he decides to splurge and stop for coffee and a breakfast sandwich on his walk home. One treat won’t hurt and he’s still holding on to the warm feeling in his chest from last night’s date with Steve. Waiting in line a few other people give Bucky strange looks and he wonders how rough of shape he’s in. He prays there isn’t a giant rip on his clothes or something but after a discrete check he doesn’t think that’s the case. Just a weird morning then.

The hoodie actually comes in handy once Bucky realizes he can’t carry both a sandwich and his coffee when he’s down an arm. Tucking the sandwich in his hoodie pouch, he sips the pumpkin spice latte slowly enjoying the sweet fall flavors on his way home. His phone starts chirping at him but with no free hand Bucky is forced to ignore it until he gets back to the apartment. It was going off earlier too and he figures who ever needs him so damn bad can just wait five more minutes.

Bucky stretches out on the sofa to enjoy his breakfast, throwing on a random movie from his queue, when he finally looks at his phone. He wonders if the world is ending and he missed it somehow. Eight missed calls from Steve, two voicemails, and four texts. Two calls from Natasha, one voicemail, and two texts. Three texts from Clint.

Natasha wants to know if he’s seen the news, if he’s okay, and what she can do to help.

Clint also asks if he’s okay and tells him he’s an ass for not sharing the deets.

Steve asks him repeatedly to call him, frantically apologizing in between.

Still confused and becoming increasingly worried, Bucky brings up the news on his phone and finds his own face on the front page. The picture is from the night before, he and Steve walking back to his place with Becca on Steve’s shoulders. They look so happy that it tugs at Bucky’s heartstrings before the realization of what this means sinks in. He shoots a quick text to Natasha assuring her that he’s fine and he’ll catch up with her tonight. Clint gets two emojis in response: a thumbs up and the middle finger. Steve, he actually calls back. The blonde had sounded so worried in his voicemails.

“Bucky, thank god.” Steve blurts out in lieu of hello.

“Well good morning to you too.” Bucky jokes.

“Are you okay? Is Becca okay?”

“Yeah, Steve, we’re good. I just dropped Becca off a preschool. I don’t know what you’re worried about, it was a normal morning outside of a few funny looks. But honestly that was probably me going out looking like a hobo because I overslept.”

“Buck…” Steve falters, “It won’t be long ‘til they figure out who you are. We can keep the press at bay here in the tower but you’re going to have some serious issues as soon as a reporter gets your name. You and Becca could come stay here for a bit or I can have a security team allocated to you both until the news dies down.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down a minute. We don’t need security and I’m not dragging Becca to Manhattan just because some dudes with cameras may or may not come pester us. We’ll be okay.”

“I’m just worried about you guys. You didn’t sign on for the shit storm that’s blowing up right now. I’m so sorry, Buck.”

“Actually, I did.” Bucky points out, “I’m not stupid, Steve. I knew what I was signing on for the minute we started talking. It’s gonna be okay, nothing lasts forever and Becca is a resilient kid.”

Steve is quiet for a long moment, trying to compose himself to say what he knows he needs to say. “If you need to take some time apart until this all dies down…” he chokes up and lets the sentence lie.

“No.” Bucky’s voice is firm. “I’m not running on you again. We’re gonna deal with this together.”

“Okay,” Steve sighs heavily in relief, “I’m going to be tied up today doing interviews. Apparently there’s no hiding the fact that I’m bisexual now. It’s funny that I’ve never tried to hide it but the news is claiming I’ve been ‘publicly outed’ by the tabloids. I’m not going to say a whole lot about you, about us. I don’t want to speak for you or anything. But if you’re okay with it, I would like to confirm that I’m in a relationship and that I care about you very much.”

“Aww, you big sap. Yeah, of course that’s fine.”

“Can I call you later when I have time?”

“I’m working tonight but I’ll have a chance for a quick break around 10pm.”

“I’ll talk to you then. If you need anything, I mean it Buck, anything, just call me. I’ll pick up on national TV if I have to.”

Bucky rolls his eyes and hopes Steve can feel his exasperation through the phone lines. “Get going, ya punk. You have a country full of conservatives to horrify with your secret homosexual agenda.”

Steve laughs, the first bit of happiness he’s had since waking up to the news. “Will do.” he says quickly and hangs up before his overly dramatic heart can blurt out something terribly stupid like I love you. He pushes down the tender, fledgling emotion, knowing it’s too fast but feeling the gentle flutters nonetheless.

Natasha arrives at Bucky’s apartment a full hour early that night so he can get her caught up while making dinner for her and Becca, while Becca watches an episode of Wonder Pets in the living room. Natasha apparently watched a few interview clips of Steve’s and teases Bucky over how completely smitten they both are. It’s nice and normal, the teasing and banter over a new relationship with his best friend. It makes him think Steve really was just being overly concerned with his fears.

It’s a blessedly slow night at the ER and no one seems to recognize Bucky as he hops from one patient to the next, getting people stabilized and ready to be seen by one of the doctors on shift. When Steve calls at ten he sounds better than he had that morning. He’s exhausted from the media circus but pleased that he was able to get the story out in his own words. He asked for privacy for all their sakes but knows it won’t last long. Bucky continues to assure him that they’ll handle things as they come and to not worry. Steve can’t help but feel like it’s the calm before the storm.

The calm only lasts until 2am. Dr. Strange pulls Bucky out of a patient room, pushing Darcy in to take his place and dragging him down the hall to the staff break room. “What the hell?” Bucky demands once the door is shut.

Strange’s face is grim, “There are currently fifteen reporters in the lobby all asking if you’re working and if anyone has a statement they’d like to make.”

Bucky’s stomach drops, “Fuck.”

“Yes, fuck indeed. I’ve already made some calls and the police are on their way to clear house. We don’t expect that to last however. HR is willing to give you the rest of this week off, paid, while we sort out protocol for this sort of thing. Amanda will call you tomorrow to talk details once the board meets and decides what we can do to protect both you and our patients. We obviously can’t have reporters milling around every time you work.”

Bucky doesn’t even know what to say.

“If you want to go gather your things, Paul in security will escort you out the back away from the reporters.”

“Okay,” Bucky agrees, because really what else can he do?

Darcy catches up with him as he’s packing up his locker, “They’re sending you home?” she cries, pulling him into a hug.

Bucky nods numbly, “Rest of the week, yeah. They have to, there’s too much going on right now. It’s paid at least.”

“Well that’s something.” Darcy concedes. “How are you getting home? It’s a madhouse out there.”

“Paul’s gonna have me go out the back. I’ll be okay.”

“Call me if you need me.” she insists, giving him another tight hug.

Bucky promises he will and then follows the kindly old security guard through the maze of hospital halls and outside.

The air is bitter cold and Bucky’s thankful for his heavy jacket as he hurries down the mostly empty streets home. Natasha is tapping away on her laptop when he arrives. She does cyber security work and swears she gets most of her work done after midnight anyway. It works out well when he needs help on his overnight shift rotations.

“What happened?” she demands and slams the lid of her laptop down.

Bucky shucks off his jacket and joins Natasha on the sofa. “Reporters showed up at the hospital, like a lot of them. Strange was on tonight, thank god, he’s a tough son of a bitch and he wasn’t putting up with crap from anyone. They snuck me out the back while the cops got rid of the reporters.”

“But what about tomorrow? Is this gonna affect your job?”

Bucky shrugs, trying to ignore the low level fear humming in his veins over that exact concern. “I honestly don’t know. HR is gonna call me tomorrow once they figure out ‘protocol’ for this. Somehow Strange got them to give me the rest of the week off with pay. I don’t even know what I’m going to do with myself for the next six days.”

Natasha raises an eyebrow, surprised and happy for him. “I vote catching up on your Netflix queue and being a lazy ass. You never take a break, Bucky. And you of all people deserve one. Maybe go spend some more time with that gorgeous boyfriend of yours. Some kid-free time, if you know what I mean.” She wiggles her eyebrows until Bucky throws a pillow at her. She ducks easily, laughing. “I’m just saying! It’s been a long time since he-who-shall-not-be-named.”

Bucky bristles at the mention of his ex. He should have seen Brock for the piece of shit he was, but he’d missed it at first, too wrapped up in the bliss of a new relationship. In the end, Brock’s true colors had come out and Bucky had ended things before it could become even more toxic than they already become. He sighs, pushing the ugly memories away. “It hasn’t been that long. And you’re forgetting Micah from the hospital cafe.”

“It’s been four years since him. And Micah doesn’t count. That was a year ago and it didn’t go past a lunch date where he, and I quote, kissed you like a St. Bernard.”

Bucky shudders at the memory. “Okay, so it’s been a while. Maybe I will go see Steve one day while Becca’s at school.”

“That’s more like it!” Natasha cheers quietly, cautious to not disturb Becca. “So, do you want company or should I scoot and let you get some rest?”

“I love you for offering but I just wanna crash. If I can get a few hours now I’ll be able to get back on daytime hours easier.”

“Love you too.” Natasha leans over to hug him before packing up her stuff and heading out.

It was a crazy day but as Bucky climbs into bed, he’s still resolved that it’s going to be okay again soon.

Bucky is groggy when his alarm goes off at 7am but it’s better than he would have been if he hadn’t gotten any sleep. Becca is thrilled that he’s home and even more so when he tells her that he’ll be home the rest of the week. They make plans over breakfast for things they can do after she gets out of school since they have all the time in the world now. Bucky compromises with one quick park trip, which he cringes thinking about but he’ll just have to pack her inhaler and make sure she takes breaks, two trips to the library, and one night they’ll grab dinner at the neighborhood diner for their kids eat free night.

The week flies by and Bucky gets the all clear on Thursday to return the following Sunday once the hospital is able to put additional security in place. He’s thankful they’re not just letting him go to avoid all the hassle but several nurses and doctors apparently made their opinions loud and clear that he was worth the additional security measures. Bucky is eternally grateful for his coworkers and makes plans to take in a tray of thank you brownies on his first shift back.

A second round of good news comes in a few hours later; Steve is back early from his latest mission. They make plans for the following day, unwilling to wait any longer to see one another again. Steve will be, in theory, just hanging around the tower wrapping up some post-mission paperwork from earlier in the week so he’ll be able to take most of the day to show Bucky around the tower and spend time with him. He also offered to take them all to The Met after Becca gets out of school and Bucky said he’ll consider it. It’s a little extravagant, but something about picking her up together and going on an outing tugs at his heartstrings. It’s so perfectly domestic, like a real family would do. Bucky tries to ignore the longing he feels for something he’s never let himself consider before.

There’s a lone reporter lingering outside his apartment when Bucky heads out to pick up Becca from school. There were a lot the first two days but their numbers dropped off drastically when they realized he really wasn’t all that interesting. “Hey man.” Bucky gives the reporter a little wave. He has to give the guy credit for determination. “Still not going to do anything interesting, sorry.”

The reporter huffs a laugh, “Ya never know!”

Bucky laughs in return and heads off, trying to ignore the fact that the man is following him a few steps back. He gives the guy a few more days before he gives up too. Bucky is a single parent with a full time job, he doesn’t have the time to do anything interesting.

Rounding the corner to Becca’s school he spies the little girl talking to a man in a long beige wool coat. The man is tall and thin with greying hair and wire framed glasses. His appearance screams of wealth in a way that would make him fit right in as a parent of someone at the school, but something is off and Bucky steps up his pace. Becca hasn’t spotted him yet but he hears the man ask “Your daddy is friends with Captain America isn’t he?”

Becca, all proud smiles, informs him, “He’s my brother, not my daddy. And Captain America is his boyfriend.”

“Isn’t that nice. Hey, I have something you can give your brother for me, okay? Can you be a big helper? It’s right over here.” Becca looks unsure so the man smiles brightly and takes her hand, leading her down the sidewalk away from the school. A black van pulls up at the end of the block, a door swinging open and the man hurries her along.

Bucky screams Becca’s name and breaks out into a full run. Icy fear consumes him, driving him to move faster than he ever has before. Please God no, please, don’t let them take my baby girl.

The reporter realizes what’s going on and sprints right along with Bucky. They collide with the man and Becca at the same time. The reporter tackles the man, pinning him to the ground, leaving Bucky to grab Becca and roll to the ground shielding her in his arms. A teacher runs over with her phone out yelling “The police are on their way!” to them.

The man writhes underneath the reporter, trying to free himself while looking panickedly at the van. The van door slides shut and then the vehicle flies off with screeching tires. Once it’s out of sight the man lays his head back on the pavement in defeat.

“Just stay put buddy.” the reporter grumbles.

Now that Becca is safe Bucky is filled with a depth of rage he didn’t even realize he was capable of. Somebody tried to snatch his baby girl right in broad daylight. Bucky checks her over one more time before passing her off to the teacher who’s still holding on the line for 911.

Bucky stalks over to where the reporter still has the man pinned. His movements are predatory, his voice low, practically a grow, when he demands, “Who the fuck do you think you are?”

The reporter just stares at the man, also waiting for an answer.

“I am one of many.”

Bucky shakes his head. God, he just wants to punch this guy in his smug face. “Fine. Who do you work for?”

“Cut off one head and two more take its place.”

“I’m getting real sick of riddles and I still got at least two minutes before the cops show. Last time, asshole. Who the fuck do you work for and why do you want my kid?”

“The child, or you, it matters not. Either will get us the captain. We are everywhere. We will come again, and we will succeed. Hail Hydra.” The man crunches down on something and within seconds he’s foaming at the mouth, his eyes rolling lifeless back in his head.

Bucky looks to Becca, thankful the teacher is shielding her away from what took place. Ice cold fear runs in his veins. He knew there could potentially be a risk dating Steve, but it was an abstract sort of knowledge. Up until minutes ago he’d thought the only real concern was pesky reporters. Most of which, he has to admit, are actually good people just trying to make a living. A real threat, a fucking terrorist threat, is something he’d never really put much thought into. That name too: Hydra. Everyone knows of the Nazi group who Captain America has been trying to destroy since the 40s. A threat from them is very, very real.

The cops arrive and start dispersing the crowd that’s formed. It seems like forever until they’ve taken statements from everyone and the body is removed. Becca holds up as well as a four year old can trying to answer the police man’s questions, and Bucky fills in gaps as he can. They take his statement too and let him know they can provide a security detail if he wants. The officer looks sheepish but also recommends he call Steve because Shield and the Avengers can likely provide better security than the NYPD can. Bucky thanks the officer and agrees to call Steve as soon as possible.

Becca is shaking so hard by the time they head home that Bucky scoops the little girl up to carry her the whole way. Two uniformed officers follow them back and do a full sweep of the apartment just to err on the side of caution. Buck appreciates the security but as he stands in his too quiet apartment he realizes he can’t do this every day. He adopted Becca to give her a better life and now he’s put her in more danger than she ever would have been in being raised by their parents. All because some small part of him still held on to the hope that there was someone out there that he could love and would love him back wholeheartedly and forever. That despite his upbringing, he could have a perfect family of his own one day. Bucky feels painfully childish that his pathetic longing for a partner had almost cost him his sister.

Ever the responsible parent, Bucky stifles the emotions whirling in his chest and puts on a good front for Becca’s sake. She falls asleep halfway through Frozen II and Bucky doesn’t even bother trying to wake her. He knows there’s no fighting the adrenaline crash she’s feeling. His own crash will be equally brutal when it comes, but for now it’s still nowhere in sight. Bucky is too keyed up, restless and desperately trying to find a solution that keeps all of them safe and happy. He drags a cup of coffee and a blanket out onto the fire escape where he sits to watch the sun drop lower and lower among the roof tops. He’s almost finished his drink when a knock sounds on the door.

The security detail is supposed to be vetting anyone going near his apartment so the odds are good it’s someone he knows, but it doesn’t stop him from slipping a kitchen knife into his hand on the way to the door. Peering through the peephole Bucky sees red hair, black leather, and a very pissed off Natasha. “Let me in.” she says, it sounds like a warning.

Bucky opens the door and stands out of the way. It’s not worth arguing with Natasha when she gets like this.

“You turned off your phone.” She comments without emotion.

Bucky nods. “I don’t want to deal with it right now.”

Natasha follows him as he heads to the kitchen to return the knife, seemingly pleased by his caution. “By it, you mean Steve.”

“Amongst other things.”

“You know I’m here for you. Whatever you need, just name it.”

“That’s just it, I don’t know. I keep coming to the same answer and I hate it, Nat. I just… I can’t do this to Becs.” Bucky’s voice cracks on the little girl’s name and Natasha wraps her best friend into a tight hug.

“You’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.”

“I don’t even know how to do what I want to do. I’m sure it’s not nearly as easy as movies make it out to be.”

“Let me help. You and Becca mean the world to me. Whatever it is we’ll figure it out together.”

Bucky sighs heavily, still leaning on Natasha. “We need to disappear.”

Natasha goes still, “Are you sure?”

“No. Yes. I don’t know. I can’t think of any other way to keep her safe. Even if I break up with Steve, Hydra can still use us as leverage. Feelings don’t just disappear... But people can.”

“Okay. Give me four hours.” Natasha pulls back and starts texting rapidly on a small cell phone Bucky has never seen before.

“What the fuck, Nat.”

“Working in cyber security has some perks.” She shrugs.

“I don’t think it’s normally supposed to have those kinds of perks.”

“Well, it depends on who you’re keeping secure.” Nastaha’s smile is cheshire.

“Damn. Okay, then. What do you need me to do?”

“Stay put. I’d say try to get some sleep but I know you won’t. Pack a duffel bag for each of you. No more than that, I mean it. Think in terms of what you absolutely can’t leave behind, this is not packing for vacation. You can buy basic stupid shit when you get where you’re going. Two outfits and whatever else you can’t leave that fits in two duffels. Got it?”

“Okay, got it.”

“Oh, and your phone. You won’t be needing that anymore.”

Bucky holds the phone out but doesn’t let go. “I have all of Becs’ baby pictures on there.”

Natasha gives him an understanding smile. “I’ll move them all to an online cloud storage site. You won’t lose a single one.”

Bucky releases the phone. “Thanks, Nat.”

Natasha hugs him tightly again. “Four hours. Be ready.”

And with that Bucky is left alone in his living room in shock. He supposes he shouldn’t be all that surprised. Natasha has always been a badass. He used to joke she was really a Russian spy and their friendship was just a cover for her real identity. Bucky now wonders now how close to the truth he might have been.

Four hours later, down to the minute, Natasha is striding through his door once again, a large envelope tucked under her arm. There’s no warm welcome or pleasantries, Natasha has her game face on and Bucky is still too rattled to try for levity. Spreading the papers out on the coffee table Natasha organizes everything quickly. “Birth certificates, immigration paperwork, social security cards, school records, medical records, a resume with work history and references, and a quick life history fact sheet for both of you.” She places a wallet from her pocket onto the table as well, flipping it open quickly to show him it’s fully filled with cards, cash, and an ID card.

Bucky scans over the documents, unable to believe she had pulled this off so quickly and how real everything looked. “Sebastian Stan?” he asks, nose wrinkling.

Natasha nods, “Yep, you’re Romanian. You moved here with your daughter Elena when she was two months old. Your wife died in childbirth and so you brought her here to start over.”

He spies the address on the drivers license. “Rochester? Is that where we’re actually going?”

“No, of course not. You and your daughter have recently moved to Cape Elizabeth, Maine. That’s where you’re headed. You’ll be happy to know their local urgent care center is looking for a new triage nurse. The pay is pretty good and it’ll be enough to cover rent for the cute little apartment that you just put a down payment on.” Natasha pulls something from her pocket, it’s flesh colored and rolled up tightly. She hands it over with a simple, “Here, you’ll need this too. Don’t want that guy drawing too much attention to you.”

Bucky stares at the silicone sleeve, realizing it’s a perfect fit for his prosthetic. The details are down to an art, from light arm hairs and tiny freckles. It’s soft enough too that as long as you don’t grasp it very hard, it’ll feel shockingly similar to his right arm. “Damn. You don’t miss a thing, do you?”

“Of course not. Who do you think you’re dealing with?” Natasha glares at him affectionately.

Bucky chuckles, of course she’s the best at this. She’s been the best at everything since the day they met. “What happens to Bucky and Becca Barnes then?” he’s afraid to ask but he needs to know.

“They got on a flight to Moscow two hours ago. There’s a few nice security officers and cab drivers who will all verify they were sighted leaving the airport about eight hours from now.”

“That works for the rest of the world, but what happens if Steve goes looking? He has an awful lot of friends in high places.”

“Steve isn’t going to go looking right now. And even if he did, the alibi will hold up. Trust me.”

A tiny piece of Bucky’s heart shatters that Steve would just let him go so easily.

Natasha recognizes the look on his face and quickly adds, “He called you non stop after the news broke. Sent you dozens of texts too. You very nearly had the full force of SHIELD and the Avengers on your doorstep if it wasn’t for Tony Stark.”

“What happened?”

“Tony convinced Steve that if you weren’t calling or responding that he was as good as dumped. The rumor mill always hinted their relationship was strained but Tony really is good at kicking Steve when he’s down and Tony played his cards right on this one. Steve has been holed up in his apartment all night, he’s not doing too great.”

It kills Bucky to know he’s putting Steve through this pain, but he’s firm in his decision. He’d be more disappointed in himself but he’s too tired. Things got tough and he’s doing exactly what he’s been doing since he was a kid to protect himself: he’s running. “How do you even know all this?” Bucky asks, realizing Natasha shouldn’t have this level of detail on the goings on at the tower.

“I hacked into the security feed at Avengers Tower. Jarivs was a handful but not more than I could handle. Tony Stark is brilliant but he’s also arrogant, and that’s his downfall.”

“You are, without a doubt, the scariest person I’ve ever met. I’m gonna miss you.” Bucky can’t hold back the tears at the thought of leaving Natasha behind.

“What do you mean, miss me? You went to college with Natalie Rushman, you’re even Instagram friends. You haven’t seen me in a few years but we still keep in touch regularly.” Natasha brings out yet another little black phone he’s never seen and shows him Natalie’s Instagram account.

“How many of those little phones do you have tucked up your sleeve?” he teases.

“The world will never know.” she quips in return. “I do need to go though.” she adds in a more serious tone.

Bucky nods, he knew this was coming. He can’t get words past the lump in his throat.

“You have a train to catch in about forty minutes. That one will take you as far as Boston and there’s more tickets from there. Try and get some rest, you’ll be getting into town in Maine around eight in the morning.”

“I’ve gone longer without sleep pulling doubles at the hospital, this won’t be nearly as bad.”

Natasha gives him a half hearted smile, “You’re all set then.”

Bucky pulls her in for one last hug. “I’ll message Natalie when we arrive.”

“Mmm, yes. Sebastian would definitely snap a pic of his new hometown when he arrives. I’ve heard it’s very Insta-worthy.” Tears shine in Natasha’s eyes but they don’t fall. She swallows thickly. “Be safe.”

“You too.” Bucky manages to croak out through the overwhelming tide of emotions. He holds her for one last heartbeat before she slips out the door like a ghost.

Bucky goes through all the documents Natasha left behind and finds a thin red iPhone in the stack. There’s a post-it note stuck on top warning “do not activate until after you are on the second train”. So much for keeping himself occupied while he waits. In the end he spends most of the time pacing around the apartment and double checking his bags. He checks the time again, making sure he’s down to the final few minutes when he finally goes to get a sleeping Becca from her bed. She barely stirs as he carefully slides her into her warm purple jacket and slips socks and shoes on her feet. He slings her over his shoulder and collects the two duffels with his free hand. It’s a little jarring to see tan skin where he’s used to seeing shiny steel but he appreciates that Natasha thought of everything.

He worries momentarily about the security detail outside his apartment but quickly realizes they’re distracted helping an elderly woman catch her escaped pomeranian who’s barking up a storm. It’s a good diversion, one clearly planned out. Bucky holds on tightly to Becca and all but runs down the hall to the stairwell. He doesn’t slow down until he’s two blocks away and he realizes he really did escape without being sighted. Slowing his pace to a normal New York hustle, he heads towards the train station and to their new lives.

#stucky #stucky fanfic #steve rogers x bucky barnes #non winter soldier bucky barnes #captain america steve rogers #shrunkyclunks #parent!bucky #nurse!bucky #becca barnes #kid!becca barnes

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turning-dreams-into-chaos · 5 years

Text

Banished (Part 26)

*Not My Gif*

Summary: When the 100 was sent to the ground, Y/N Y/L/N was one of them. Having been locked up for almost 8 years, how will she react to surviving on Earth? Especially when she gets banished…

Post Date: 11-29-19

Paring: Bellamy Blake x Reader

Word Count: 3K

~Master~

~Banished Master~

*Based off episode 2x13 of the 100, Resurrection*

Previously...

“…/N?!... /N!... Y/N!” Kane shouted as best as he could from the building crushing him. You couldn’t respond so you did the only thing you could do. You reached up above your head, grabbing onto a metal rod and pulling it down. A thwap sound coming from you as you pulled down again and again, just praying someone would come down to save you.

You could hear Kane push aside some of the building, grunting and groaning with every movement before you felt his hands on your face. “Y/N? Can you hear me?” You tried to answer but the only thing that came out was a small groan as you nodded your head. Kane was relived only slightly as he stopped you from moving the metal rod again, seeing the tear on your leg. Your other leg was buried under a beam and as soon as Kane moved it you let out a strained cry, your throat feeling like it was torn from your sudden use. “Shh, shh, shh. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.” Kane brushed some of the hair out of your face as you nodded, a playful smirk on your lips.

“Do you know how many times I’ve defied death Kane?” You whispered through the collapsed room as you locked eyes with Kane. Even though your face showed a hint of calmness, Kane saw the dread in your eyes as he watched you struggle. You tried to push yourself up, only to fall back down with a huff. You looked around the dark room, dust and rubble everywhere as you tried to breath, only to fall into a fit of coughs. Kane wanted to help you, but he didn’t know how. He started to call out for anyone to help him but no heard.

“Kane.” You whispered in between coughs. He looked down at you, his yells ceasing, and you knew exactly what you were experiencing. Kane took your hand, giving it a squeeze as you tried your best to look at your pin leg. “Kane, I’m scared.”

“Uncle Marcus, I’m scared!” you whined as you clung to Kane’s neck, wrapping your small arms as tight as you could. Kane gave you a quick hug before pulling your 8-year-old body away from him. “Why can’t I just stay with you?” You looked up at the man as placed a smile on his face, not at all a real one but you couldn’t tell the difference.

“I’m sorry Y/N, I wish it didn’t have to be like this.” He looked around the room as a guard entered the room, nodding his head to Kane before making his way over.

You tugged on Kane’s jacket as he looked down, seeing the slight wetness in your eyes. “I want mommy.” Kane didn’t know what to say as he slacked his jaw, giving your head a quick pat. Since your parent’s death, Kane has been weird around you. He hasn’t been happy smiling at you and anytime you try to get close to him, he pulls back, settling for as little contact as possible. But what made you the most upset was that he didn’t want you. He promised he would always be there for you no matter what happened and yet here you were about to meet the guard who was going to take you in.

Kane reached over to your things, grabbing the stuffed animal you kept on top. He barely even had to show it to you before you were jumping in glee, squeezing the thing like there was no tomorrow. You hadn’t even realized when the man approached you, talking with Kane before you were tapped on your shoulder. You looked up, the man towering over you as you gripped your animal tighter. He introduced himself but you listen, too intimidated by his stature that you found yourself stuttering your name. He gave you a smile, his smile you knew was forced by the way he kept glancing to Kane to see if he was watching.

“Sir? There’s something you need to see.” One of the ark’s workers said to Kane as he left you alone. You watched him leave before turning back to the man, your hold on your toy now a death grip.

“What was your name?” you tried asking, just to ease the tensions. He man’s smile flew away almost immediately, and a shiver ran up your spine. His yellow teeth peaked through his lips as he leaned down to your level.

“You’ll call me Sir. Got it?” you nodded right away, wanting to be anywhere besides where you were. His lips turned into a menacing smirk, looking around for any spectators. “Good.” His eyes caught sight of the toy in your hand, seeing the way you held it up to block yourself from him as he grabbed, ripping it from your hands. You let out a little cry as you tried to give it back, only to receive a glare from Sir. “Toy’s are for babies. You aren’t a baby anymore, right?” you didn’t say anything, just watching as he squeezed the neck tighter.

“You’re hurting him!” you yelled, gaining a few people’s attention. Sir just laughed, blaming it on your imagination as they understood. You were starting to realize what was going on as Sir grabbed your arm, practically dragging you to the corner of the room to separate you from everyone.

“You’re not a baby, are you?” His grip on your arm was getting tighter by the second as you winced, finally deciding to nod and just agree with him. He seemed please with that answer as he shoved your stuffed animal into the trash, making you cry only momentarily as he squeezed your arm once really tight.

Kane wasn’t watching the whole debacle; in fact he only saw he both of you leave the room. He did think it was weird you were no longer holding the stuffed animal you always have with you, thinking the man was holding it for you or something. You turned around before you go to the door, pleading for Kane with your eyes but it did no good, not even with you mouthing the words “I’m scared.” made him understand how bad this was.

“It’ll be okay Y/N.” he promised as you used the little strength you held to shake your head. You couldn’t bring yourself to look to him as you fell into silence. Kane reached up, letting his fingers pull on the rod you had been, hoping someone would hear your call for help. You tried to get your mind to wander from the beam on your leg, pain coursing through your entire body.

Was Octavia okay? You knew she was in Tondc before the missile but was she still alive? And Clarke. You couldn’t find her and Lexa before, did they make it?

Something just felt off about Clarke’s whole ordeal, showing up just before the strike, and then disappearing. That doesn’t just happen.

Did something happen? Did something happen to Bellamy? Everything around you went blank as you just thought about the possibility of Bellamy getting caught, or worse dying. You were being crushed by a building and here you were worrying about Bellamy. Kane saw your creased in brow, knowing something was wrong.

“Hey, you’ll be okay. I promise.” You didn’t bother telling him that you were the least of your worries. Everyone else, Bellamy, was.

Debris started to fall around you as you covered your face, taking deep breaths only to inhale smoke. A bright light flashed across your face as Kane turned around, seeing Abby Griffin push her way through the fallen building.

“Marcus.” She breathed out heavily as she made the rest of the way to you, eyes wide as she saw you under the beam. “Y/N? It’s okay! I’m here!”

“It’s her leg.” Marcus pointed out as they begun to move more building.

“Can you feel your toes?” You nodded as Abby gave you one of her doctor ‘everything’s okay’ smile. It pained you to see but not as much as the beam. “That’s good! I think nothings broken.” Kane put a hand on your shoulder and you wanted to push it off but you didn’t, deciding not to use your strength on that.

“Can you get it off me?” You asked as Abby and Kane began to pull on the beam, only to hear a whimper not that far from you.

Kane was the first to look over there, a sense of worry before turning to Abby. “That could be Clarke.” He told her as she only gave him a simple nod, barely looking at her as you let out a little huff as realization. Kane and Abby continued to try to move the beam off your leg, ignoring the sounds of death above you.

“Don’t move!” Abby yelled as you groaned, biting your fist to contain the scream. Your blood squirted onto the beam, making Abby apologize profusely as you sit there in pain. “Your femoral artery is lacerated. We need the beam it's the only thing keeping you alive.”

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, “Hell of bandage.” You joked, trying to ease the tension in the collapsed building as Kane reassured you before telling Abby to go find Clarke. The woman fell silent again as her jaw locked. You took pity on her, Clarke wasn’t the same girl she knew, no one was.

“Abby, Go find her.” You grabbed Kane’s arm gaining his attention before shaking your head.

“She’s not here.” Kane didn’t believe you, making you scoff as he turned towards Abby again.

“Abby.”

“You still don’t see it, do you?” You mumbled as Kane just stared at you. You laughed, a few drops of blood coming up as you sighed. “Clarke comes speeding into Tondc hours after sending you, trying to get Bellamy on the radio, the secretive meeting with the commander, then they both go missing?” Kane still looked confused as you pulled on the metal rod once more, closing your eyes. “Clarke knew they were going to drop a bomb on us.”

“How did you know that?” Abby asks between huffs as she pushed the rubble away, locking eyes with you as you just shrugged.

“I know Lexa. And I know Clarke. She claims to do everything for her people and yet she leaves them all to die, leaves you to die. Leaves me to die.” It wouldn’t have been the first time Clarke Griffin left you to die on earth. “She’s thinking like a leader. Probably Lexa’s idea, probably said something like conceding the battle will inspire people to fight.”

The moment the words left your mouth the ceiling fell in, knocking Abby and Kane both away from you and burying you even more.

You couldn’t really feel anything, a slab of the building resting atop your stomach as you tried to breathe, your eyes closed to keep the room from spinning. You could hear Abby calling for you, Kane’s voice mixing in a little as well as her flashlight passed over your eyes, pulling you from your stupor.

Neither Abby or Kane could move, both across the room from you as they yelled for you.

“I’m okay.” You whispered, warning sighs of relief from both but Kane’s was more prominent. He was terrified, he couldn’t lose you, not all but most certainly not this way. “I’m so cold.” You mumbled, shivering a little but having no strength to warm yourself up, all your muscles begging for release from your crushing weight on your stomach.

“I know. I know, I’m right here.” Kane said as you pried your eyes opened, seeing his distraught state before closing them again. Abby began apologizing, saying it was her fault for Clarke’s actions because she was her daughter. She tried justifying Clarke’s actions by saying they were the ones who taught her on the Ark, their past providing the instructions for Clarke’s betrayal. You didn’t see it as a betrayal, no matter how many ways you looked at this, it made sense.

“After everything we’ve done, do we even deserve to survive?” Abby asked as you started to listen again, the pounding in your head intensified.

“You sent us down here to die.” You coughed out, the rock on you bobbing with every breath until you settled. “You sent us down here for stealing, treason, being born, and self-defensive murder and told us to survive after calling us expendable, after saying the only way we could be useful now is dying or not. “The earth isn’t forgiving, so why should we be?” If the earth was forgiving then maybe you wouldn’t have lost your parents, you wouldn’t have been tortured, you wouldn’t have killed so many people. “Everyone does bad things for their survival, and some things cause you or others great pain. That pain doesn’t go away. You learn to live with it and create more. It’s what being human is.”

As your vision fell into darkness you couldn’t help but think of Bellamy, just hoping that amount Weather hadn’t discovered Bellamy, that your friends were safe in the mountain. You needed to know Bellamy was alright.

He had to be alright.

“Y/N!?” Kane yelled at you. His voice sounded like he was a million miles away, running straight at you at the speed of light. “Y/N! Wake up!” You groaned, shifting your head as it felt like you were being split open. Abby pushed the rocks away from herself, screaming in pain as she got free and came to you. “Just hold on Y/N, you’ll be okay.” She promised as she tied a tourniquet around your leg. You could hear the voices above you but couldn’t make out any words, unlike Abby and Kane. They kept telling you people were coming but all you could do was sit there as the cold crept over your skin, the pain from your laceration seemed to be getting worse.

Octavia worked together with the Skypeople and the Grounders to pull the rocks away, sunlight entering the hole you’ve dug yourself into but you couldn’t open your eyes, only hearing her voice.

“We have three survivors!” She yelled to everyone outside before she got closer, “Abby! Kane! Y/N!” Octavia rushed over to you, looking you over as she saw your chest rising and falling. “Thank god.” She sighed in relief at the sight of her best friend, bruised and barely breathing, but still alive. “We’ll get you out of here.”

It took a while but soon you were pulled out with a stretcher, the tourniquet on your leg helping you from bleeding out as you still hadn’t opened your eyes, the daylight now replaced with the night sky. Octavia wrapped a blanket over you as you nodded, barely moving your hand as you grabbed hers. She took it, being gentle with it as she wiped some of the blood from your face. You couldn’t say anything but you didn’t need to as Octavia’s eyes started to water at the sight of you. You opened your eyes slightly, using the last of your strength to smile at her.

Octavia looked up, seeing her boyfriend enter the camp as you let go of her hand, letting her running to him and kiss him. You moved your eyes toward the entrance, seeing Clarke and Lexa enter side by side scathed free. You would’ve scoffed if you had the energy but it was coming back slowly but not fast enough.

“Y/N needs blood! Now!” Abby yelled as Clarke started looking around, landing on your body as she turned to Lexa. Lexa was just staring at you, a frown etched on her face before the grounders around her started chanting.

“Heda! Heda! Heda!” They said as Alexa tore her eyes off you, looking over her fallen men.

“What happened here will not stand!” She began as Kane squatted next to you, holding his hand over his face to hold back his tears. He wanted to stay with you but knew that he needed to help as Abby told everyone to get back to work. With great resistance he left you, fixing your blanket before turning his back.

“With our two people working together we will win this war Clarke.” Lexa said as Clarke didn’t say anything, only looking at you as Lexa joined her. “She’ll be alright.” She assured Clarke but deep down she didn’t know if she believed it. “She’s strong.”

The girls separated as Clarke made her way to Octavia, Lexa walked towards you, her guards following behind her. “She comes with us.” Lexa’s orders as the grounders nod, beginning to pickup your stretcher before Abby stopped them.

“She needs blood.” She told Lexa who remained unfazed, moving her eyes from you to Abby. “She’s not strong enough.” You opened your eyes, the slight pain in your eyelids causing you to groan.

“She’s strong.” Lexa repeated to the other Griffin as she paused, telling her guards to release you. “Give her blood. Then she fights.” She started to walk away before Abby jumped in her path.

“She won’t be ready! She can barely move!” She argued as you did your best to look at them.

“I want to fight.” Abby turned to look at you, shock on her face at your determination. Your raspy voice even making Lexa turn around.

“And you will.” She walked off, Abby leaving soon after her, finding Clarke. You let your eyes close again, focusing on your shallowed breathing before you felt yourself being lifted into the air. Kane, Sinclair, and Jackson all took a hand in picking you up, carrying you into a caravan back to Camp Jaha.

What did you think?! 😊

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#bellamy blake x reader #bellamy blake imagine #bellamy blake the 100 #bellamy x reader #bellamy imagine #the 100 x reader #the 100 fic #the 100 series #the 100 #the 100 imagine #clarke griffin #abby griffin #marcus kane #commander lexa #indra #octavia blake #lincoln #banished

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ghost-ghost-baby · 5 years

Text

Red // Yandere!Bakudeku x reader soulmate au //

a/n: im sorry this is like,,,,, 1000k+ words of uh,,,, mid depressive episode nonsense,,,,

warnings: blood, self harm, swearing,,,, i think that’s it,,,,

requests: open

“I’m sorry Izuku, I just don’t feel like hanging out today, you’ll let Kacchan know, right? Tell him I’m sorry?”

“Yeah, of course Y/n, are you sure you’re feeling okay?” You could hear how worried Izuku was over the phone, and it made your stomach turn.

“Of course ‘Zuku, I’ll see you tomorrow, stay safe!”

You hung up before he could reply. You just… couldn’t deal with him and Katsuki today, not with how down you were. You refused to burden them like that. You’d been friends for years, sure, but you’d never told them about all your… issues. It’d ruin everything, they’d think you were weird and they’d leave like everyone else. What they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them, right? It didn’t help that it was your birthday, your twentieth birthday, after which you’d be able to know when you met your soulmate. It wasn’t much, you’d feel something unmistakable when you touched or looked into their eyes, it was unique to each bond, and apparently you’d feel a faint echo of each other's pain and general emotions. You didn’t know if you bought into the whole thing, whoever turned out to be your soulmate would be sorely disappointed, you knew that at least. God, they’d really get more than they bargained for, huh?

You were always more relaxed by yourself, you didn’t have to hide anything, all your scars and pills and history could be out in the open, with nobody to judge. It was the only place you wore shorts, or anything other than huge oversized shirts. A knock made you freeze in place, you were merely inches away from the door, and if you looked closely you could make out two shadows. Fuck. Maybe if you didn’t move they’d go away?

“Y/n, are you home? I made you soup!” Izuku’s voice rang in your ears, your hand pressed to your chest as you prayed they’d just leave.

“I told you that wouldn’t work, Deku. They might not even be home.” That was Katsuki, but maybe he’d be able to convince Izuku to leave?

A key was turning in the lock before you had time to think, seconds stretching into hours as you stood frozen to the spot.

“Kacchan! You can’t just let yourself in! That’s so rude! Y/n gave us that key for emergencies!”

“This is an emergency, they’re acting weird. Hey, aren’t they turning twent-”

“Y/n!” Izuku finally noticed you as the door open, container of soup clutched in his hands. Looking up was a mistake, as soon as your eyes locked with his your mind went blank, everything fading away except him and the only thing you could register was green.

“Oi! Y/n! Stop staring at shitty Deku and tell me why you’ve been acting so weird!” Katsuki’s voice flung you back to the present, eyes widening as his hand reached for your arm. Fingers wrapped around your forearm and you couldn’t help the yelp that left you. If it was from pain or the shocks that went through you, you weren’t sure. Katsuki pulled his hand away as if you’d burned him, really you weren’t surprised. It was so quiet you could’ve heard a pin drop, and you kept your eyes fixed on the floor, mind racing as you tried to figure out what to do. You’d never heard Izuku this quiet before, and that couldn’t be good news.

“I’ll be uh, right back.” You managed to get out, turning tail and bolting to your room before anyone could stop you.

“Okay, this is fine, it’s gonna be fine. You’ve dealt with worse than this.” You whispered to yourself, letting your head fall back to thud against the bathroom cabinets. Stressful situations weren’t your strong suit, you tended to go running back to the nearest destructive habit you’d been trying to kick. Bandages, you needed bandages, or something to stop the bleeding at least. It’d gone a little… further… than you’d intended, but nothing you couldn’t deal with. Blood was all over the floor, splattered and smeared and… that all really came from you? You’d never seen this much red before, it was… pretty, in a way. You didn’t want to move, so you sunk back against the cabinets, you couldn’t even remember why you were worried in the first place.

“Y/n? Are you- are you okay in there?” Izuku’s voice brought you back to your panicked state, swearing as you sat back up.

“Y-Yeah, just a minute!” You hoped he didn’t notice how your voice shook.

“That’s bullshit, we’re coming in!” You’d never heard Katsuki sound like that, desperate and angry and scared. They couldn’t see this! You had to do something now, you had to-

“Wh-what- what the fuck!” Katsuki was the one frozen now, standing in the doorway with his eyes darting all over the place.

“Kacchan? Whats wron- oh!” Izuku had slipped under him, green eyes wide and already tearing up.

“I-It’s not as bad as it looks?” You tried to reassure them, hands flying to find gauze to press to the wounds.

“It looks like a murder in here, Y/n!” Izuku was on the floor besides you, hands replacing yours, dabbing the gauze to asses the damage.

“You’re lucky you don’t need stitches, let’s get you cleaned up. Then we can talk.”

The room was tense, you were sat on the bed, Izuku next to you and Katsuki in a chair across the room. He still wouldn’t look at you. Your fingers toyed with the bandages, too afraid to break the silence that encased the room. It was suffocating.

“How long?” Izuku was the first to speak, voice quivering.

“Years, it’s really not a big deal. I don’t- I don’t want to die-”

“But you could have! It’s incredibly dangerous! I- We don’t know what we’d do without you!” Izuku had grabbed your hands now, tears falling down his cheeks.

“Don’t be silly, Zuzu, you and Katsuki have each other!” You did your best to reassure him, frowning when you saw you were doing the opposite, Izuku only crying and sniffling more.

“I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to-” You were cut off by Izuku throwing himself at you, almost knocking you over.

“You’re even stupider than Deku. We’re soulmates, can’t you get that through your thick skull?” Katsuki’s eyes were burning, but at least he was talking to you?

“More than that, we were supposed to be friends. How-How could you hide this? We could have helped.” You’d never heard him sound so heartbroken.

“It’s not your problem, I’ve been dealing with this for years by myself, okay? I-I know how to handle it.” You shook your head, the only movement you could get with Izuku wrapped around you.

“Y/n, you better fucking listen to me, and you better listen good. We’re soulmates, if anything bothers you, it bothers us. We can’t be there for you if you don’t tell us what’s happening.” The blonde was in front of you now, crimson eyes boring into your own and hands cupping your face.

“A-Are you sure Kacchan? This- I’m a lot to handle-”

“So is Deku, and I’ve been dealing with his sorry ass for years.”

“We don’t care if you’re a lot to handle, Y/n. W-We wanna handle you.” Izuku’s voice came out muffled, his face was smushed into your neck, after all, but he pulled away with a red face.

“T-That sounded ba-bad! I didn’t mean like- i-in a sexual way! Unless you want to, of course!”

You laughed at that, sniffling slightly as you realised you’d been crying.

“Well then, Izuku, Katsuki, I’m in.”

#izuku x reader #katsuki x reader #bakugo x reader #yandere izuku x reader #yandere bakugo x reader #yandere x reader #soulmate au #depressed reader #bnha x reader #bnha reader insert #yandere #x reader #x reader fluff #angst #mha x reader #deku x reader #kacchan x reader

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phantoms-lair · 5 years

Text

Uncommon Ancestry Snippet 8

Lewis considered it a small mercy washing machines hadn't changed much in the last century or so (no matter how much Arthur complained about stagnating technology). He liked to be helpful, and doing chores around the house one way he could. Besides, Izuku usually did his own laundry and he barely had time to himself with his new training regime.

Lewis pulled one of the school blazers to check the washing instructions, and noticed what looked like a burn on the shoulder, almost in the mark of a handprint.

Where do you think you're going, Kingsmen?

He shook his head, trying to erase the memory. Sometimes he didn't understand how Arthur could have forgiven him, much less married him. He pulled out another blazer, only to find another burn on the upper arm. He emptied out the load and saw more burns on the sleeves of the jackets and shirts, and marks of patching on others.

Calm down. This doesn't mean anything. He works in a place with fire, you got him that job yourself Still he'd need to check, that many burns would be a safety issue, which meant finding a different place for Izuku to work. And if it wasn't- it has to be. No. Jumping to conclusions helped no one. He'd just ask his grandson himself, and he'd see there was nothing to worry about.

Lewis knocked gently on the door just above the All Might plaque. "Izu-kun, do you have a moment?"

Izuku popped his head up from the text he was studying. "Sure, Grandfather, what's up?” Lewis opened the door, what Izuku had recognized as his signature housekeeping apron tied around his torso. "I was doing the laundry and noticed your shirts had a lot of burn marks, especially on the shoulder. Are there safety concerns in that kitchen?"

"Oh, no the jobs going great. Those are from Kaachan." Izuku's voice dipped lower as he spoke.

"What's a Kaachan when it's at home?" It better be something like a dog with fiery paws, because if it's a person- No, don’t even think it. Don’t let the past color the future.

"He's one of my classmates. We were friends when we were kids, but that kinda of changed when his quirk came in and mine didn't. He likes to call me Deku and burn my stuff. He was really mad when I was applying for UA because he thought he was the only person in the school worthy to go and-" Izuku cut off as Grandfather Lewis's calm demeanor was betrayed by his hair burst into flames. "Grandfather?"

"I'll be right back." Lewis turned around and began to float down the hall.

"Grandfather?" Izuku ran after him, thankful Grampa Arthur and Grandma Vivi had come up to see what was happening.

"Lewlew, calm down, I haven't seen you this worked up in centuries." Vivi joked, thought there was concern in her voice.

"I am calm." Lewis said in a tone that was anything but.

"The bonfire on your head says otherwise, Big Guy. What's wrong?"

"What's wrong is some pissant bully has been using his power to burn our Izu-kun because he thinks having a quirk gives him the right to." Lewis's hair was burning brighter and his appearance started to fade into his wraith form.

"Lewis, no." Vivi said in a flat voice.

"No, what do you mean no?" Lewis growled

"She means you can't go full spirit of vengeance on a fourteen year old kid. Because that what we're dealing with. A dumb kid." Lewis glared at him, petulantly. Arthur threw up his hands, "I'm not saying we do nothing. That's assault, Lew. There are legal channels to handle this shit."

"They won't work." All three, plus Inko who'd come to see what the commotion was about, turned to look at Izuku. "Kaachan is going to be a great hero, so the school won't do anything to hurt his chances, since it makes them look good."

Vivi let out a harsh laugh, "Are you kidding? That's the stupidest thing I ever heard." Izuku looked at her confused. "Seriously? They think someone who uses their quirk to assault classmates because he views them as lesser-"

"Very illegal, by the way," Arthur chimed in.

"-is going to be a hero? Sounds like a villain if ever there was one."

It felt like something shattered in Izuku. It had been a constant since they had been three, something every adult said. Katsuki Bakugou was going to be a great hero someday "That can't be true, everyone says he's going to be a great hero. His quirk -"

"Means nothing to us," Arthur waved it aside. "Has this guy ever done anything heroic?"

Of course Izuku wanted to say, but the words caught in his throat. He wracked his brain, trying to find something. He scoured every memory he had of Kaachan. There were plenty of people praising him for his 'heroic' quirk but...almost as soon as he'd gotten it he'd used it to attack and bully other. Izuku had once been his closest friend, but Kaachan had turned him in an instant the moment he wasn't 'worthy' enough. He considered everyone around him, even the teachers, just stepping stones to his success. He destroyed peoples things and reacted in violence when something didn't go his way. Those weren't the actions of a hero.

"I think we all need some rest." Vivi cut in. "We'll talk to the school tomorrow. If they don't do anything, we lawyer up, because as my wonderful husband pointed out, this is very illegal behavior." She floated up and kissed Lewis's cheek. "I know you're protective of our family, Love, but going out in a rage would do more harm than good."

"I know, I know. I just-" Lewis's flames died down. "There were burn marks on the shoulder of his clothes, a lot of them."

And then Vivi understood. Back during the bad times Arthur had sported some shirts with the same mark. That reminder must have shook Lewis up enough that he lost his reason. "Come back to the attic with me."

"You gonna be okay, Zu?" Arhutr asked, as Inko steadied her son.

"Yeah, it's just a bit of a shock."

"Let me see your shoulder," Arthur insisted. "I'm pretty good at treating burn wounds." Not that he’d ever admit how he got that way.

"It's nothing, Kaachan's got enough control it usually doesn't penetrate the clothes anymore. If anything, It's more likely bruised from fighting off the slime guy."

Arthur pursed his lips, unhappy that it sounded like he'd gained that control through trial and error on Izuku. He saw the burgeoning anger in Inko's eyes. She was reigning it in better, but she was just as pissed as the rest of them.

Izuku chuckled nervously, obviously still shaken. "Good thing I didn't mention he told me the best way to become a hero was to through myself off the school and pray for better luck in the next life. Grandfather Lewis would have really freaked out."

Arthur shot his eyes up to Inko, and saw a rage as bright as Lewis that then froze. A shiver went down his non-existent spine. He'd seen that freeze before, in Vivi. It never boded well.

"Grandmother is right, we should all get some rest." Her voice held a cheeriness her eyes betrayed as a lie. Thankfully Izuku wasn't looking anyone in the eye, so he believed her fake calm as she led him back to his room.

Arthur stayed with her as she walked Izuku back to his room, and left with her as well, promising Izuku he'd be back in a moment. "Do I need to remind you not to kill the fourteen year old too."

"Oh, I'm not going to physically harm him." Inko had never looked so much like Vivi. "I'm just going to make sure where things stand are perfectly clear."

"Been a while, Inko, what brings you here?" Mitsuki asked, brightly.

"I just need to talk to you and Katsuki, if that's alright."

"Sure, Hey brat, get down here."

"What do you want?" Katsuki snarled, coming down the stairs.

"Just something I wanted to make clear." Inko smiled and opened the bag she brought. She pulled out several shirts and jackets, burns most prominent on the wrists and shoulders. Pencil boxes, textbooks, notebooks, all shown signs of destruction at the literal hands of Katsuki's quirk. "Keep your son away from mine. I've brought this up with the school, but as I can't trust those biased bastards to be responsible for a rabbit, I've come here to warn you. Should my Izuku come home with one more hand shaped burn on his person or property, I will personally destroy you." Her pleasant tone never wavered.

Katsuki snorted as Mitsuki paled. "You and what army?"

"Lawyers." Inko answered brightly. "A police record would ruin your chances of getting into any good school, much less UA. And I have more than enough evidence to have you charged with assault and illegal quirk use. The only reason you're getting another chance is the people who should have taught you better have utterly failed to do so. But this is your only chance. Throw it away at your own leisure."

~~~~

I was worried I was being to hard on him, but I rewatched Season 1 and seriously, FUCK Bakugou. Dude acts like a sociopath and the fact that no one ever blinks at his violent acts towards Izuku means it happens so often they’re desensitized to it.

And while yes, the adults in his life are enabling rather than correcting, the fact of the matter is Bakugou is old enough to know right from wrong. He knew exactly what he was doing when he suicide baited Izuku in episode one, and act that could have ended in his own death, as if Izuku had followed through, no one would have saved him from the slime villain (an act Bakugou is distinctly ungrateful for as well, putting his injured pride above the fact that his victim was the only one willing to help him. And that’s their real relationship. It’s not rivals like you see in so many Shounen Animes. It’s an abuser and his victim)

And to those who still say I’m not being fair, I ask you the same question Arthur asked Izuku. Name one Heroic or even halfway decent thing Bakugou did in his entire life up through Season 1.

#Uncommon Ancestry #BNHA #MSA #Sorry for the little rant at the end #Bakugou just pisses me off no end

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my-brothers-corrupted · 5 years

Text

My Brothers, Corrupted

Chapter 2 : Section 3 : The Chains that Bind Us

Dapper, overwhelmed by months of abuse, finally struck back - literally. Anti needs to put him and the rest of his family back in line and hide the magical signal Blue won’t stop radiating, as well as trying to care for Trick through a depressive episode, and in his stress he’s violent and distressed and out-of-control. Dok is trying to survive the punishment for Anti’s failure and Red works to hide Blue’s magic constantly, determined to keep his family safe, even from the threats within it.

Trigger warnings for torture (character hanging by throat, non-fatal), major abuse, mind control, dehumanization, and ableism, including infantilization of a disabled character and taking away ability to communicate. Remember that sexualizing the abuse in this fic is the surest way to get yourself blocked.

Find Chapter One here.

Find Chapter Two here.

Section Two of Chapter Two: The Chains that Bind Us

Anonymous asked: yo is it just me that has No Clue what just happened to anti or do any of you guys know what's going on

Red and Blue peer out from beneath their hiding spots. Blue’s neck is a vivid purple.

“Is he gone?” he mumbles, glancing around.

Red gets to his feet and dares to open the door, peering around the hallway, gone quiet now, with medicine rolling around the clinic floor.

“He’s never really gone,” he says, maybe for his twin, maybe for himself, maybe for you. “But sometimes he goes off on his own. It’s not my place to question him.”

He scratches at his beard, worried. “Wish he’d brought me with him, though. I could protect him - I could hold him and he might even let me. Might even lay his head down on my chest, and tell me he feels safer when I’m with him.”

Red’s eyes shine.

spicydanhowell asked: is he gone? wow. i think he just... had emotions. i think he remembered trick's OD and.... was upset. i love that for him.

“Oh, don’t tease him,” chides Red, sighing and retreating into his room.

“That attempt really upset him,” mumbles Blue. “We have to get this figured out. It’s not good for anyone to be living like this.”

He keeps glancing out the window. Red comes to sit beside him and throws an arm over his shoulder, and the two of them relax back against the wall as best they can.

Anonymous asked: hey red, blue, are you guys ok?

Red and Blue sigh in sync and Red glances over at the little brother beneath his arm.

“Wish he hadn’t done that to Dok,” Blue mumbles.

“Don’t think about that,” answers Red, putting his head down on his shoulder. “We’ll go get him tomorrow morning. He’ll be okay. We’re fine, right? We got each other, huh, buddy?”

Blue chuckles, and then coughs, rubbing at his throat.

“Yeah,” he rasps. “We do.”

spicydanhowell asked: hey if he's gone maybe... y'all could give dok a little relief? did he just leave trick and dap alone, like???

“Well, I’m sure he’s watching through the cameras. Or maybe he sedated them or something so they’re safe.” Blue pulls himself up to glance out his window, where he can see the corner of his shed. “I don’t know what he did to Dok, but the door is all locked up again.”

Anonymous asked: wow wow wow the great antisepticeye feeling Emotions?? imagine

Blue giggles, only to earn himself a pinch on the arm from Red. “Hey,” he protests, brightening a little and pouncing on his twin, tackling him to the ground and grabbing at his ear in revenge.

“Ow, ow,” Red pretends to whine, only to flip him over onto his back a second later, and then they’re wrestling, laughing softly as they try to forget what’s going on around them all the time. Red lets Blue have the attack, minding his twin’s injured throat, and soon he is pinned down to the ground, rolling his eyes as his twin laughs and laughs above him, warm and cheerful and safe, safe for now. There is little else that matters, because there is little else he can control.

spicydanhowell asked: dok won't last more than a few hours before he's strangled to death, guys. if theres anything you can do to help him... please do. he's kind of in horrible pain atm, even if he's not "dying" persay

Blue sighs and draws away from Red again. “I don’t know if there’s anything we can do without bringing punishment down on our heads too. Tomorrow, I’ll take care of Dok all day if he wants. But this is master’s decision and it would be bad to interfere.”

He stares out the window again, his mouth slightly open, like there is more he could say, but he does not speak.

Anonymous asked: Hey Dok! Kann ein Känguru höher als ein Haus springen? Ja! Weil ein Haus nicht springen kann! (Eng: Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Yes! Because a house can't jump!)

Dok’s eyes blink at you for a moment, confused. Then he lets out one short, rasping bark of a laugh.

“That sounds like something Trick would say, back when he was happier.”

cest-mellow asked: dok, is there anything we can do for you? tell something to trick, maybe send his message back?

“No, no, please don’t tell him I’m in trouble like this, I don’t want him to worry. Anyway, let him rest, it’s getting late. Is he resting? Will you tell me if he’s alright for tonight? Does he look very pale? Very thin? I hope he is eating and maybe taking his medicine and maybe not so sad so much? I hope Dap is with him, I hope - I…”

Doktor groans and struggles on his chain, sighing.

Anonymous asked: How are you holding up, Dok?

“Oh, I’m okay, I’m okay. Honestly he could have done much worse. He didn’t even get the dog out or make me eat the mice or anything.”

He glances down at the squirming pests near to his feet and flinches, closing his eyes.

“I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay,” he murmurs to himself. His face is still calm. There is little he cannot tolerate.

Anonymous asked: Maybe we could keep you company, Dok. I know talking might be kind of hard right now, but do you have a favorite song? Maybe you could hum it. I hum when I'm tired or sad.

He pants slightly, trying to think.

“I… I’m not sure. Long time since I heard any music. We used to have a little music player, Trick and I. Anti gave it to us when he first gave us to each other. He told us we could only listen to it together, so we would lie next to each other as the sun went down with one earbud each. And Anti had picked out the music for us, but some of it was still good. Or Trick liked it, anyway, ha… he likes… he likes that album where all the songs are named after planets. I always thought it was kind of sad, but they gave him some comfort, I think… I miss that music player…”

florenceisfalling reblogged: sLEEPING AT LAST-

“That’s the one,” chuckles Doktor, finding a higher spot of earth and managing to set his feet more firmly on it. Relieved, he closes his eyes, and for a long few minutes, he is quiet.

“I’d give anything to hear you say it one more time,” he whispers, his lips faintly blue. “That the universe was made…”

He trails off, licking at his lips.

“Maybe I will never hear him say anything again. Let alone to see that light in his eyes, when he was happy, at my side, staring up at the universe… but still I have that song.”

reverseblackholeofwords asked: You'll see him again, Dok. It might take time, but you will. Family has a way of sticking together no matter what. You know that better than anyone.

“I really do hope so,” says Doktor softly, weary on his chain. It’s getting hard to speak. It will be a long night. He prays that Red comes to get him first thing in the morning. “Yes, we’ve all stuck with each other, haven’t we? Not going to lose my Trick just yet…”

Anonymous asked: Dok I literally don’t know how else to say this, you are amazing and you’re so so resilient. And you’re right, no matter what Anti says you are not a failure or anything close to that. You are exactly what your brothers need and you shouldn’t need or have to prove that to anyone when you already have by being yourself. We love you so much and we’ll do whatever we can to help you.

Deutsch hums lowly, his eyes flickering shut. He’s found a high enough spot he might even be able to get some rest, as much as this can be called rest.

“I am resilient,” he mumbles. “Everything my master gives me, I survive, and continue to do what I can. I am… nothing to prove…”

He gives a deep, shuddering sigh, growing faint as the light fades around him, dipping under the tall peak of the mountain that has become his home.

“Thank you.”

Anonymous asked: maybe someone should go check on trick, now that he's alone. he might do something to himself if there's no one there for him

“Yeah, we should see how he is.” Red sits up, glancing at the door. Blue steps over to open it and -

“Goddamn!” he hisses, rubbing at his throat and backing away. “He locked us in again! What did we even do?”

Red sighs, staring at the door, where an electronic lock blinks irritably back at him.

“He has his reasons.”

Red is calm, but Blue looks betrayed, slinking back to his mattress.

“Let’s go to bed,” he mumbles, rubbing at his eyes, coughing a little.

There is no bedtime routine. Their toothbrushes are outside the locked door and they’re out of toothpaste anyway. There’s no such thing as pajamas in this house. It is hot even at night here, so Anti has given them no blankets, and no pillows, and no light when the sun goes down.

Their mattress are disarrayed from hiding and tussling. Red gives his twin a few minutes to sulk in the corner before picking up his own mattress and pushing it over to sit right beside Blue’s. Eventually, in the night, Blue will turn towards him, and when they wake up their legs and arms will be tangled and their heads close together.

“Good night, Azul,” whispers Red, adjusting on his mattress. “I love you.”

And for all his irritation, Blue always answers with warmth, like he can’t even help it, cause maybe nothing is stronger than that promise they make each other every night.

“Night, Roser. Love you too.”

Anonymous asked: yo trick you doing ok buddy?

Trick, to his irritation, wakes up with the sun. Groaning, he flops over on to his side and curls up closer to the body sleeping next to his own. You can see him from a lop-sided angle on the drawer by the door, where Anti apparently left you to make sure he could keep an eye on his boys during the night.

Eventually, Trick stirs again, and begins gripping needily at the shirt of his companion, looking for some early-morning attention from Anti, only to pause at the feeling of a scratchy dress shirt underneath his fingers.

A moment later he jerks back so hard he halfway tumbles off his bed, clutching at his chest and laughing nervously.

“Holy shit,” you hear him laugh, getting up to peer over his brother. He turns to you and hurries over to show you too, giggling.

“I thought that was Anti, hahaha. It’s Dap! Why’s he sleeping next to me?”

Trick sits down next to him again, playing with a strand of Dapper’s slightly curly hair. Most of his concept of personal boundaries has washed away in the last couple weeks and he doesn’t seem worried about waking up his little brother. Dapper’s face is chalk-white, with dark circles beneath his eyes, his mouth slightly open as his raspy breaths break the morning silence.

“Maybe he can stay with me a while,” wonders Trick, sounding excited. “Then someone can be here with me all day and it won’t be so lonely and boring, haha.”

He rubs his thumb up and down Dapper’s cheek, invigorated by a visitor.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Hey Dap...? You making out okay, buddy?

Dap stirs with Trick’s petting and Trick decides to let him come awake slowly, lying back down at his side, setting you on his stomach, and relaxing again. He pulls his crinkle paper out from beneath his pillow and runs it steadily through his fingers while Dapper blinks blearily awake.

Dapper breathes thickly, staring between Trick and the camera, his eyes a little glassy. Trick murmurs something that sounds like a mix between a greeting and a checking-in, an old sound from the days when they had no one but each other, and knew better how to look after each other as they changed into people they eventually stopped recognizing.

Dapper gives him no answer, so weak he can barely pull his head off his pillow. Alarmed by his frailty, Trick sits back up and leans over him again, setting a hand on his shoulder to steady him.

“Did you take something?” murmurs Trick, pulling gently at his eyelid to look into his pupil and checking his heart-rate. “A tranq or something to keep you down? Why did Anti need to sedate you, bro?”

Dapper licks his dry lips and stares up at him wearily. For a second, he reaches up his hands to try and give him an answer -

Oh, oh. His hands are bound up in thick, cord-like strings. His fingers, white with struggling blood, can barely move.

Shocked, he stares down at his poor bound wrists, and Trick does his best to soothe him, trying to massage some feeling back into his fingers while his eyes follow the strings back to their origin. Tied to the headpiece of the bed, they will keep Dapper from moving more than a few feet from the corner of the room.

White-faced, Dapper puts his head back down on his pillow, and wishes he could wake up anywhere else.

Anonymous asked: Dapper, Trick, are you two alright?

“I’m not sure,” mumbles Trick, helping prop Dapper gently up against the board of the bed. Dapper purses his lips in his best attempt at an appreciative smile, one of his stiff hands coming to rest on Trick’s thigh, perhaps to steady himself, perhaps asking for comfort. Trick’s replies as best he can, sitting himself up beside his little brother and letting Carver sink down against his shoulder, panting softly in the early morning light.

“He must still be hurting from that time Anti had to stab him.” Trick carefully lifts up the hem of Dapper’s shirt, checking to make sure his bandages are clean. For a moment, he smiles at the sight of his brother’s careful, steady, loving wrapping. He rubs gently at Dapper’s shoulder and tries to keep him sitting up and breathing clear.

“So Anti decided he needed to keep an eye on you, huh?” grins Trick. Dapper manages a rueful grin in return, his eyes hurting. “Or - maybe he just wanted some company for me? Yeah? We’ll be okay back here while you heal, okay? I can look after you if you need anything. I can do anything you need.”

He smiles bright. Anti’s poured a great deal of affection out on him, but in more than three weeks Trick has not had a single chance to give any affection back.

Anonymous asked: dap, can you not sign at all? do you have any other way of communicating?

Dap licks his mouth and lets out a small sigh. You watch as he does his best to curl his aching fingers, but even when he gets them to respond, you can tell he won’t be able to bring his hands fully together while he’s bound up like this. Perhaps when the sedative wears off a little better, he’ll be able to give you some sign. He offers you a small click of his tongue and falls quiet again, slumping on Trick’s shoulder.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Hey Trick. You good, buddy? Hanging in, at least? Your twin is in trouble..

“I’m good! Or I’ll be good as long as Dapper’s good.”

He’s strangely buoyed by a visitor, in fact, his fist drumming against his thigh so fast he’s probably bruising himself, his eyes a little bright, talking fast.

“It’s been a long time since I had anything to do but sit here trying to make myself feel better, and I’m pretty shit at that, to be entirely honest, but I’m working on - wait, what?”

Trick straightens up, staring at you.

“Dok’s in trouble?”

His voice shakes hard, his eyes burning. He turns to you and Dap and back again, reaching over to give his little brother a small shake. “Wait, wait, no, no, no - Dap, explain to me, what’s going on, where’s Deutsch? Is he okay? What do you mean he’s in trouble? Is that all you have for me? He’s in trouble? He’s in trouble?”

He pulls away from Dapper and gets to his feet, rushing to the door and falling to his hands and knees to stare through the crack beneath the door.

“Doktor!” he cries. “Deutsch, Allemagne! Anti, where are you? Hey, someone come talk to me, Red, Blue? Where’s my twin, where’s my brother! I want my brother, let me out! I want Dok! Hey!”

His joy is all vanished, his face distraught and turning red as he begins to cry. Dapper clicks his tongue and whistles from the bed, trying to get to his feet, without success, worried for Trick. He’s not used to his big brother showing so much of what he feels like this.

Anonymous asked: "Trick.. I really hate to be the bearer of bad news but Anti kind of beat the shit out of Dapper before he brought him to you. That's why he's sedated and tied up. I don't think you should be this excited, unfortunately." PF!A

“Oh,” whispers Trick, his voice shattering. He gets up from the door and stares back at his little brother, who looks back with aching blue eyes. After a moment, Trick returns to his side and puts an arm back around him, his reddened eyes fixed on the floor.

Dapper sinks back down against his shoulder.

“Sorry that hap - sorry that - sorry that happened,” manages Trick. “I don’t know what you did, but I’ll help make sure it doesn’t happen again, okay?”

Dapper sighs. Trick puts his head down on top of his little brother’s.

“It’s gonna be okay. I got you.”

Anonymous asked: "I-I can take a message and pass them between you two, if it'll help, Trick-? Please calm down.." -PF!H

“I n-need to know that he’s okay! What’s going on? Does he need help? Can you send someone?”

Anonymous asked: hey trick, do you know where anti is? he got really upset about something and left

Trick looks up, surprised. “What, he’s not anywhere in the house? Well, he must have had something to do in the city or the neighborhood if he’s not in his room. That’s where he usually goes to sulk - ah, ah, I mean, uh, think, to think. Sometimes he comes home with blood on his hands or supplies. Maybe he’s fetching something? I would think he would have come home by now, though. It’s weird for him not to even lie down with me for a couple hours.”

Anonymous asked: "He's in the shed for defending Dapper after what happened. ..Anti decided to punish him because he thought he 'wasn't good enough' to look after his brothers.. He's been tied to the roof but he can breathe. Then.. Red and Blue are locked in a room. I can give all I can to help you at least feel a little better or know what's going on, but this is a really isolating problem. I'd help if I could.." -PF!H

Trick chews on his lip, his eyes lighting up with something you haven’t seen for some time as he thinks. He glances between the window and the door.

“Red and Blue are locked in their rooms most nights, but the locks are electronic, and usually set to let them out around seven.”

He glances out at the sun.

“That should be soon enough. You can usually hear roosters crying around the same time. If it’s an emergency, there is a window in their room. It’s locked, but I know they can sneak out of it.” He grins conspiratorially. “Because one time I saw Red leap out to get Blue cough medicine in the middle of the night. I didn’t tell Anti but I could. Anyway, if their doors don’t unlock and Anti isn’t back by the time the roosters are calling, they can go help him. They’ll get in trouble for it, but that’s their job cause they’re bigger than me, so it doesn’t really matter.”

Trick sighs, leaning slightly back. “I wish anybody outside of the room was allowed to talk to me. Even poor Dap can’t talk to me like this.”

He picks uselessly at his brother’s strings.

“I hope Dok’s doing okay.”

Anonymous asked: dap, do you know morse? you could try tapping using that to communicate!

“I’ve never seen him use that,” frowns Trick. “I don’t know it. It’s kind of a hassle, but if he knows that maybe he could use it in an emergency. Do you?”

Dap kind of nods, kind of shrugs. Been a long time since he used that.

Anonymous asked: doktor's being punished by anti, unfortunately. but he should be fine, trick. anti wants to keep you away from him. he thinks he's a bad twin, even though we know that's not true

Trick’s expression slackens. He stares at the floor, playing with his crinkle paper.

“Miss him,” he mumbles.

spicydanhowell asked: anti where the fuck are you. you locked everyone up with no water or food or toilet and several of them are injured or tied up are you Stupid???

“Hey, don’t snap at master,” snarls Trick, something venomous filling up his face. “First of all, we all have bathrooms here. This place was designed to be a medical facility - I know because I saw the medicine cabinet and the sinks and everything in every room, and the doors are really wide so wheelchairs can fit through. See? So, look, each room has a little space for sleeping and a little bathroom. It’s meant to be used for people who are injured to come stay here as long as they need to while somebody takes care of them. But that never happened, because this side of the mountain is so poor. They built the building and left again.

“Secondly, Anti’s always watching.”

Trick glances right at the camera and straightens up proudly, simpering for his master’s attention. Dapper has closed his eyes, turned slightly away.

“He’ll be back when he needs to get back. He wouldn’t - ”

There is a loud click as the electronic locks change for the day.

Trick turns to you with a self-satisfied little smirk on his face, playing innocently with his hair.

“See? Master wouldn’t let anyone get hurt. That’s my big brother. I’m his little pet. He looks after me at least. If he’s gone, it’s because he has to be.”

Trick rubs at his eyes, trying to keep up his enthusiasm. He has to prove that Anti is good, after all, and not only to you.

“Maybe he’s getting stuff for Christmas. He said we could celebrate.”

He sits up for a while longer, staring at the door, waiting for his brother to appear.

But Anti doesn’t.

Tired, Trick eventually leans back, the light in his eyes fading, Dapper pressed against his heart.

Anonymous asked: Red, are you scared?

Red jolts awake to the unlocking of his door, sneezing.

“Hngh, what? Scared? Of what?”

He glances around the room and finds his twin standing at the window, staring out at the shed.

“No, no, we’re fine,” mumbles Red, as Blue rushes past him to open the door and head out towards Dok. “What’s there to be afraid of? Not that weird for Anti to be gone, you know, sometimes he leaves us for days.”

He yawns, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes. “It’s okay to leave me in charge, you know.”

Anonymous asked: do you have anything to do in here, trick? like any entertainment at all?

Trick’s mood has soured. He stares blandly at the ceiling and shrugs, proffering his crinkle paper just a little. Dapper glances up at him and then at you, more concerned the more he wakes up.

Anonymous asked: so trick, are you feeling better? after, you know, everything that happened?

Trick groans a little, closing his eyes.

“I… yeah. Of course. I mean, I should be, right? I have everything I need and all of Anti’s attention and I’m okay and I’m… I survived it and…”

He stares out the window, tears welling in his eyes.

“Shouldn’t still want to die,” he rasps, fatigue flooding down his face.

And Dapper, with aching, stiff white fingers, reaches gently out to squeeze his hand.

There’s something bigger than gratitude in Trick’s eyes when he turns to meet his gaze. They set their foreheads together, warm in their little bed, and they hold each other close.

Anonymous asked: "...Your Master isn't a good person, Trick. He really isn't. But.. Sure, I guess. ...Maybe you should lay down?" -PF!H

“Nothing else to do,” mumbles Trick, staring at the ceiling. He reaches out to help Dapper lie back down, but he shakes his head, pulling away, still trying to get to his feet. Trick watches him struggle for a moment before lying back down, drawing the blankets around his shoulders and burying his face in his pillow.

spicydanhowell asked: trick, you know you have depression, right? and you know that's a chronic illness that even anti can't cure. you need actual therapy and several months of daily medication and sunlight and exercise to get better. what anti is doing for you is not a solution.

“Not Anti’s fault,” answers Trick through the pillow. “Stupid fucking shitty-ass brain. Nobody else is fucked up like this. Everybody else can take it.”

nikkilbook asked: “Shouldn’t” is a tricky word. Of course you’re not the kind of person who *wants* to leave your brothers and never come back, to stop existing forever. But it’s a trick your brain is playing on you, a heavy filter that’s been slid over everything while it tries to cope with chemicals that are out of whack and overwhelming situations. The chemicals and the situation haven’t been successfully addressed, so of course your brain is still confused. This isn’t your fault, Chase.

“Actually I think I like that ‘stop existing forever’ option just fine.”

He sighs deeply, running his fingers through his greasy hair.

“But Anti and Doktor would be so upset, so I guess my ghost would be even more of a problem than I am now.”

Anonymous asked: Dok? Are you okay? Blue is coming to let you out.

The beeping of the camera draws blank eyes back into focus. Dok’s aching arms let his weight onto his calves again as he stares at you, his mouth open, thin breaths passing in and out. He manages something that might be a nod.

spicydanhowell asked: trick, your brain is not healthy, but that's not a personal failure. hell, dap and red have "different" brains too, and they struggle, and it's not their fault either. it's nobody's fault that you have depression, but you say you have everything you need when you really don't. you need treatment and time to heal

Trick watches Dapper make his way to his feet and stand panting beside the bed.

“Maybe,” he grumbles, closing his eyes like he’s in pain. “But I hate hospitals and even if I would go, I can’t. Someone would be able to track us through the hospital system, or even a therapist, Anti says. Besides, doubt we can afford it. Anti has to feed the others before anything, you know? And sometimes we even struggle there, so…”

He rubs at his face, watching Dapper move despite his hurt. Maybe he should get up too.

“I don’t think Anti knows what to do with me,” he admits frailly. “I don’t think anyone would.”

Anonymous asked: Has Dok been in the shed before?

Blue races out the door to his own room, and then the backdoor of the house, setting his bare feet on the craggy earth, barely avoiding splinters of glass and sharp stone in his haste to help his little brother.

He finds the shed door chained.

“Goddamn!” he hisses, slamming his hand against the door, hard. Gritting his teeth, you watch him pace round the shed looking for a hole to enter through, but it’s a sturdy structure, and as the sun rises, it grows hot to the touch.

“He’s going to fucking boil in there!” snarls Blue, stalking back to the door and yanking on the chains. You hear the door creak as Red steps out of the house behind him, wearing his own shoes and carrying his brother’s.

“Blue, take it easy, I can go find Anti if we need to.”

“Yeah? How’re you going to do that? For all we know he’s in the middle of something dangerous.”

“He would have told me if he were going to do something dangerous. Or taken me with him.”

“Sure,” spits Blue, trying to twist the chains with his bare hands. “Sure, I’m sure he would, Red.”

cest-mellow asked: blue? have you gotten dok yet?

“We’re working on it,” Red answers calmly, watching Blue scurry around the shed a second time. He’s beginning to look at the roof in a way Red doubts will lead to good things. “Blue, we might have something under the sink that can get him out.”

“Go check! Please!”

“Okay, but put your goddamn shoes on before you cut yourself. Hey, Dok? We’re out here, bud, we’re coming. Hold on.”

spicydanhowell asked: blue, do you have any tools or do any neighbors have some? you might have to cut the chain

“Red, did you find anything?”

“Give me two seconds! We’ll get him down, okay?”

“He’s in pain, can’t you hurry?”

“Getting freaked out won’t help, Blue. Hell, I don’t know… there’s not really anything down here anymore. I thought we used to have a bolt-cutter. Hey, maybe it’s one of the keys Anti has us look after? I’ll go check.”

Blue hisses impatiently. For a second, the sun makes his eyes flash a very vivid blue.

immabethehero asked: Find a treestump and bash the door down!

“Fuck, I don’t know if Anti would like that much. Maybe I can find something. There aren’t many trees up here, though, I’ll tell you that much.”

Anonymous asked: Blue please hurry and get Dok out of there. He can barely breathe.

“He can barely breathe,” repeats Blue anxiously, as Red heads back towards the house. “He could choke, I don’t know how much strength he has, if Anti beat him or hurt him… And it’s so hot, it’s so hot! He’ll cook, he could get hurt, I bet the chain is so hot on his poor throat.”

Blue squeezes the chains tighter, close to the door, his eyes flickering. He staggers slightly, closing his eyes as the world spins around him. Fuck, maybe Red was right, maybe he does need to calm down a little. But Doktor is in there, his little brother, for all that he acts tough, suspended by his neck, wheezing and gasping as the sun rises hot over his head and he grows frailer and frailer, his muscles aching and his body shaking -

Something is dripping through his fingers.

Startled, Blue frowns at his hands.

And then he yells aloud, jerking backwards as molten metal singes the ground in front of the shed, the chain melted clean through between his fingers.

He stares at the twisted metal, shaking.

“Blue, we’ve got three different keys here, one for the medicine cabinet, and we can try the other two, but - ”

Red stops short behind him.

Trembling, Blue turns to his twin, his hands held out in supplication, in fear, in apology.

Red takes a long look at the situation, his eyes fixed on the faint whisps of blue trailing from his brother’s hands.

“Are you hurt?” he asks, in a voice all too calm.

Blue shakes his head, his pupils blown wide.

Red stares only a moment longer.

“Well,” he says, eventually. “Doktor is. Go get your brother. Go on, now, Blue.”

Blue nods shakily and bursts into the shed, leaving the chain behind.

Red stands there watching for a long time, his mouth calm.

His eyes afraid.

Anonymous asked: Oh, oh, Blue, be careful! Your magic! Anti will be angry again!

Red leans slowly down.

Picks up the chain where it’s cool.

Brushes away the broken or melted pieces from the ends.

And places what remains inside his hoodie pocket, heading back towards the house, where, in his room, you watch him carefully place the chain inside of his backpack.

Anonymous asked: could blue use his magic? i know he's technically not allowed, but anti's not here, and your brother could be hurt really bad if you don't help him! and you needed to find an outlet for your magic anyway, right?

Red pushes his backpack behind his door, trying to plan when next he’ll be allowed out of the house. Maybe today. He’ll have to see.

“Let’s have no more talk of magic,” he says, getting back to his feet. “Let’s have no more talk of this.”

Anonymous asked: blue! is dok ok!! can you get him down!!!

Blue knocks a blood-stained crate towards Doktor and stands up on it, hooking one arm underneath Doktor’s legs and another around his waist. It is the work of a moment to lift him up enough to remove the chain from the hook on the ceiling.

Dok is so stiff it hurts to be held.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” chants Blue, sliding down to the earth with his brother in his arms. “It’s going to be alright, that’s all for now.”

Doktor might scream. He is clutching to Blue’s shirt so tightly he has torn it.

whydoilovesomanyvillians asked: Blue hows doc doing

Blue brushes his brother’s overgrown hair from his eyes, clutching him to his chest. “He’s hurting,” he admits, reaching out to massage one of Doktor’s trembling arms. “It would be awful just to have to stand for that long, let alone to hold throat up to breathe. He’ll be stiff for a long time, I’m sure it hurts terribly.”

It feels like his muscles are doing their best to escape from his bones. Everything inside of him is fucking peeling, splitting, twain. He can’t feel his calves anymore.

Anonymous asked: is dok hurt?

“Did Anti hurt you?”

Doktor’s mouth parts dryly.

“What?” he coughs. “Other than this?”

His throat is fervently black.

“No… No, I’m fine. Let’s go inside, p-please.”

He seems, for a moment, to strain himself to stand, but then his muscles scream out again, and he collapses back into Blue’s arms.

Anonymous asked: Get him some water or something, Blue, please

“Here we are, Dok-Dok, it’s okay.”

Blue heaves him into his arms and carries him back towards the house, where Red is uncapping a bottle of water. He’ll need to go get more from the well soon, but for now they have enough.

“Why don’t you lie him down in his room?” suggests Red. “Nice and quiet in there.”

“Is Dapper still asleep?”

Red heads past him into Doktor’s room, sitting down beside the mattress with the water and grabbing his first aid kit from the corner.

“Dapper’s not in here anymore, Blue.”

“What?”

“Let’s worry about Doktor for now, okay? There we go, bud. Is it easier to lie down or do you need to sit up?”

In response, Doktor slumps down on the mattress.

“Permission to scream, sir?” he rasps up at Red, his eyes squeezed tightly shut.

“Permission granted, medic,” answers Red, grinning a little despite himself.

Doktor opens his mouth -

“Nein, I don’t have the strength.”

Red leans down and presses their foreheads together for a long time, one hand set solidly on Doktor’s shoulder, a warm, steady pressure.

“You kept Dap safe,” he whispers. “You did good.”

Doktor’s eyes water. Slowly, he nods, biting down hard on his lip.

“I did good,” he whispers. “I did good.”

Blue is massaging his arm again, determined to give him some relief. “We’ll get some water in you and you can have a nice cool shower and some clean clothes and food and anything you need, okay? Poor Dok, hanging up like that all night. We’re going to take it nice and easy.”

“Yeah,” agrees Red. “You can have whatever you want.”

“Does that include the sweet release of death?”

“Doktor,” snap the twins in perfect tandem, and Doktor can’t help but laugh, staring up at his brothers with a mouth that hurts to smile.

“Don’t joke!”

“Yeah, too soon, man.”

“Little pansy, one night in the shed and he gets all sardonic on us.”

“Oh, ‘sardonic,’ aren’t you fancy?”

“Shut up and give Dok his water, can’t you see the man is thirsty!”

And Doktor closes his eyes and lets his brothers look after him.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Are you guys going to watch Dok all day? Can you check on the others?

“Fuck, give us a minute,” grumbles Blue, blinking back into appearance before you. He’s up and about now, standing over the sink and using water from a bottle to clean their three plastic plates. “We take two seconds to look after our brother who’s been tort - disciplined and you’re impatient?”

He sighs and tries to relax. At his side, Red is chopping up potatoes, his eyes faraway.

“Anyway, what do you want us to do? No, we can’t check on the others. We’re not allowed to talk to Trick in his room, let alone go in there. You know the rules by now. You were here when we had an attic. Besides - ”

He’s cut off by a sudden flicker of the camera that catches his eyes. Blue brightens immediately - though his cheeks also flush slightly - and he turns to see Anti step out of nothingness in the corner.

“Anti,” he cheers, while a relieved smile, only trembling a little, appears on Red’s face. Blue saunters cheerfully over to Anti and -

“Oh,” he breathes, his face falling. “You’re hurt.”

Anti scoffs and takes off the backpack on his shoulders, letting it drop to the ground with a heavy thud. Not only is his neck bandaged as usual, but there is a damp dark stain on his shirt, spreading as Blue watches.

“Anti, let me look at it, please.”

“No, Blue, it’s fine. I’m not hurt.”

“Where were you?”

“Selling drugs,” says Anti.

Red and Blue exchange glances.

“Ha ha?” Red ventures. “You’re, uh. Kidding.”

Anti glances up, frowning. “What? No. We don’t need that much pain medication in the house. Speaking of which, Blue, you keep the key to medicine cabinet for me, okay? So if Dok needs anything out of there, he can explain to you why and you can open it up for him if he’s got a good reason. No sleeping medicine, though, and no pain stuff unless it’s for visitors or you’ve run it by me. You understand me?”

“Oh, yes, Anti, I can do that.”

“Good boy. Here.”

Anti hands over a tiny silver key.

“Anti, are you sure you’re okay?”

“Shut the fuck up, Blue. Listen, make yourselves scarce today, alright? I’ve got work to do and it’s better if you’re not around for it.”

Blue opens his mouth like he might protest, but Red steps up beside him and silences him with a hand on his shoulder. “Yes, Anti,” he says, meeting his master’s eyes calmly. “We’ll fill up all the water after lunch.”

“Mh, good boys.” Anti wipes at his face, slightly sweaty. “Oh, here. If you go into the city, you can do me a favor and pick up some candles for me. I got everything but that.”

“Some candles?”

“Yeah. Like a shit ton of them, actually, I didn’t realize how many. Like fifty, okay? By tomorrow. I’ll pick them up myself if I have to but - ”

“No, no, no,” Red insists, accepting a small wad of cash from his brother. “No, I’ll fetch it for you, Anti, of course. Whatever you need.”

“Good. Good. That’s my Red.” Anti tugs on a lock of his hair. “The next couple days will be happy if everyone is good, okay?”

“Yes, Anti.”

spicydanhowell asked: anti? red is worried about you

Anti pauses on his way back to his room, and low flush creeps over Red’s cheeks at the message.

“Worried about what?” he demands snippily, adjusting his backpack on his shoulders. “You getting paranoid on me too, Red?”

Blue moves to stand slightly in front of Red, but his brother pushes him away and puts the butter knife he was using to cut the potatoes in his hand, shoving him towards the counter. Irritated, Blue nevertheless obeys his older brother’s silent command and begins cutting potatoes.

“Um, Anti.”

Red slinks down the hall towards him. Anti straightens up, crossing his arms over his chest and tapping his foot. “What?” he snaps. “What is it now that I have to deal with? Huh?”

Red stares at him for a moment, his mouth slightly open, his eyebrows drawn back.

And then he reaches out and wraps his arms around his little brother’s shoulders.

Anti stiffens like a mannequin beneath his grip, breathing a little faster than he did a moment ago. After a long three seconds has passed, his hands come up to rest, just barely, on Red’s back.

“What is this?” murmurs Anti. “What’s wrong?”

Red shakes his head against his shoulder.

“You’re having a meltdown or something. Go lie down.”

“No, Anti, it’s not that, it’s just - ”

Red draws away and Anti shifts uncomfortably at the look in his eyes. Worried, worried Red. Loving Red. Ah, fuck.

“You don’t have to do this alone, okay?”

Anti sighs through his nose, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

“You’re so stressed all the time lately, I worry you’re getting sick, but you never take a break or come out of the room anymore, and - I just - Anti, I’ll do anything to keep you safe. You know that, right? I’d do anything for you.”

Anti softens, humming warmly, the discomfort slipping away. “Really?”

“Yes, of course.” Red’s eyes shine. He presses in for another hug, clutching at Anti’s shoulders. “I’ll protect you from anything that ever comes after us. I’m never going to let you get hurt. I - I - I love - Anti, I love you so much, I - ”

“Aw, Hoodie, don’t cry, darling, don’t cry.”

Anti is smiling now, stroking at Red’s hair and kissing at the side of his face.

“What a good boy you are. What a good boy.”

“I don’t want you to feel alone!”

“I know, Red. I know. Sh, calm down, love. Everything’s okay. Master’s okay. Little brother’s okay. Listen, I have work to do - ”

“Right, right. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stop you, I just… I just love you. Okay? And if you need anything…”

“I know, Red. I know.”

“Okay.” He wipes at his face, embarrassed. “Okay.”

Anti’s eyes are brighter now. He strokes his thumb fondly across Red’s beard, smiling a little too widely up at him. The stain of blood on his shirt is gone.

“Go back to your twin,” he orders in a purr, pushing Red away. “Go on. There’s a good boy.”

Red retreats obediently. Anti turns to open the door to his office, and as soon as he is alone, he looks directly at you.

“’I just love you, Anti,’” he mocks, barely suppressing a giggle. “‘I don’t want you to feel alone!’ What a fucking child he still is!”

He bursts into raucous laughter, clapping his hands together and shaking for joy.

Anonymous asked: How's Doc doing now then? Can't have been a fun night :/ Wish I could hug that poor guy.

“Let’s check on him.” Blue picks up the camera and steps down the hall, popping you and his head into Doktor’s room.

His little brother is deep asleep on Dapper’s mattress, clutching a spare shirt to his chest for comfort. Blue lets out a soft little sigh, looking down at him, and Doktor lets out a quiet hum in his sleep, his peaceful face twisting into something more afraid for just a moment.

“I think he’ll be okay,” murmurs Blue, drawing the door almost closed behind him again. “I’ll leave him with some lunch and water and stuff. Maybe later I’ll make good on that hug offer, too. My tough little brother.”

“Blue,” calls Red, stepping down the hallway past him. “Get your backpack and help me gather up the water jugs. We’ll fill up everything before we go into town.”

Blue heaves out a sigh. They have a lot of water jugs. It’s good - but it’s also heavy when they’re full.

Anonymous asked: That's not very nice, Anti...

“‘That’s not very nice, Anti,’” he repeats, pacing around his office and giggling wildly. He’s making a mess, opening up spare backpacks and shoving through his closet, searching for something. Red’s devotion has re-invigorated him. “Let’s not forget, little ones, between the haze of the world I’ve created - I fucking hate Red. And there is nothing in the world that I like better than seeing him brought so low he doesn’t even have to be asked to try to comfort me.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: If you hate him that much, Anti, then why keep him so happy? If you hated him, it would have been preeeetty safe to assume that you'd want him to suffer, no?

“Oh, he has,” says Anti. “For my sake. More than you can fucking dream.”

He pauses for a second, staring at you.

Then he brightens again.

“But you have to make puppets happy sometimes, otherwise they’ll catch on to the falsity of it all! And then who runs my errands for me and guards the door at night? He can have a little time of joy, running around with his twin. I don’t mind. It only makes him more devoted. And Red - aha!”

Anti has found what he’s looking for. Delighted, he reaches into a box at the very back of his closest and pulls out a pair of collars, one yellow and one black, and the black muzzle he showed you once before.

Anonymous asked: Hm, you say that like Red wouldn’t do that for anyone. You forget the type of lifestyle he left, he protected and saved people. Sorry to say Anti, but I don’t think you’re very special.

“Red only ever killed men on my command. And kill them he did, with my name, adoring, on his lips. And when he wept, later, to realize what he had done, it was me that he came to, and my chest where he laid his head down.”

Anti stares at you. His eyes are brown.

“Is that special enough for you?”

Anonymous asked: so what do red and blue do during the day when anti's not here?

“Well, most mornings we go for a run on the other side of the mountain.” Blue looks up at the height of the mountain, not far off from their little home. “See, the rain washes down that side instead of this one, so while this side is dry as a desert and barren entirely of plant life, that side blooms green all year round. Want to know the funny part? This side is populated by thousands of people all working their asses off just to put food in their stomachs. The other side is owned entirely by one man, who lives far away and makes no use of it. He’s waiting for the property value to increase to sell it. So of course we slip through a gap we cut in the electric fence and we run around his property for miles. Safer back there, and nicer to look at, and easier on our feet. Right, Red?”

Red heaves his backpack up on his shoulder and turns to smile at the little camera mounted on his twin’s shoulder. He wears his hood up with a pair of cheap sunglasses he stole from the pharmacy truck yesterday. “Right,” he agrees, as they head out of the house and begin making their way down the dusty, rocky trail, dirt sliding dangerously beneath their careful feet. “And then most days we get drinking water.”

“There’s only one place to get it for miles. A truck comes and fills it up everyday. Luckily, there’s plenty for all - it’s just a pain to carry around. What else do we do, Red?”

“Whatever Anti tells us to. Stealing and errands and shit. It’s been nice lately, though, cause he’s letting us have so much freedom now that we can look out for each other. We can go into the city just about whenever we want and we’ve got a card full of bus money. We’ve practically been tourists.”

“Yeah, we even went to the library the other day. Anti said we couldn’t bring anything home, but we hung out and read for the longest time.”

“We do a lot of cooking now that we have a real stove and Blue made a sort of fridge for us.”

“We go to the markets for fresh food because that’s just how people buy things around here. Things are cheaper here so we’ve been eating more.”

“Yeah. So we do that. And we, you know. Talk.”

“Yeah. We talk.”

Red smiles back at his brother.

Anonymous asked: blue, is anti gonna be mad at you for taking dok down?

“Oh, no.”

“Blue has special privileges,” Red calls, his smile teasing now. “He’s a special boy.”

“Lol,” says Blue out loud, looking unamused.

“Haha.”

“I kind of do, though. My job is to look after the others. Obviously I don’t interfere when Anti’s running drills or disciplining or anything, but I know that at some point Anti we’ll let me step in and help. If he had been here this morning, I’m sure he would have taken the chains off for me by the time I went to get Doktor. He would tell me if he wanted me to let someone be disciplined longer than the usual one night or one day. So no, everything this morning was pretty normal. Except for the, uh.”

Blue trails off, staring anxiously up at Red. Red does not even look back at him.

Anonymous asked: oh fucking hell anti whatever you're planning, please don't

“Now you’re just tempting me. This is reverse psychology. You really want me to, don’t you? Some of you are so funny.”

He’s gotten out other things too now - thick cord, and a tie, and… clothes you think you recognize from somewhere, another starchy white dress shirt and a dark vest. Anti runs his hands fondly over it, humming something bouncy to himself.

the-weirdest-fan asked: Anti, do you ever slip up and call them by their old names? Why did you give them those names? I get Red and Doktor and the others, but the name Blue doesn't make much sense to me. Could you explain if it's not too much trouble? Thanks!

“Ah, an interesting question, I do like this intrepid, polite one… Actually, you’re right, I do sometimes come close to slipping up. Especially when I’m angry - they just look so much like those same stupid fucking people they used to be… And Doktor is just a quieter Henrik, and Trickshot a more confused Chase, and Dapper…”

Anti sighs and shakes his head, turning his gaze to look out the window.

“The line between Dapper and Jameson has always been a thin one.

“But as for Blue, well, first of all, by the time I got my hands on that little bitch I meant for him to be Red’s twin, and I like the pairing of the names. But blue’s always been the color that reminded me of him. It’s the color of his power when he casts. He cast it against me so many times - I guess I like the inversion of it. Now Blue belongs to me. Not even to himself. It’s a name I chose for him. Nothing about him is his own anymore. And so he is Blue, because even that which he once used against me is now mine for the keeping.”

Anonymous asked: anti what the hell are you planning just TELL us you overdramatic bitch hdfgjfhdgdfgddh

“Can you give me a damn second to get ready! You ask me all these questions and then don’t want to wait for answers, damn! Anyway, when did I say I was doing anything? It’s just work. You’re the ones hyping it up. Geez.”

And he pulls a line of fairy lights and a box full of finger puppets out of his closet. You can see him trying not to laugh, fixing you with a cold grin.

whydoilovesomanyvillians asked: Finger puppets and fairy lights wherent those in dappers toy box thing

“Very good. My littlest puppies are acting up. There are ways to make them… revert.”

immabethehero asked: Woah, woah, woah, Anti, calm down! No need for collars!!!

“Shut the hell uppppp,” sings Anti, bouncing on his heels as he gets to his feet. “I’ll decide what they need and what they need is - ah, shit, I should get his new medicine figured out too. Something stronger. Just a second. Hey, Dok-Dok!”

A moment later, he is yanking open the first door on the hallway right, and Doktor jerks awake with a cry, both from the pain of his aching muscles and from the alarm.

“Did you decide on Dapper’s new medicine?” demands Anti, crouching down beside him, a little too close.

“His new - his new medicine?”

Anti’s voice sharpens dangerously. “Yes. Like I said yesterday. I want new medicine for him. Something stronger, less generic. Obviously the old shit’s worn off him.”

Doktor’s mouth has gone dry. “W-well, Anti, I was thinking about it and maybe he should actually stay on the Haldol?”

“No.”

“It’s just sometimes people have bad episodes even if they’re on good medication, and he’s very used to his medicine now and handles all the side effects well, it really just fits him well, he likes it, he - ”

There is a hand pressing down hard on Doktor’s bruised throat. The pain makes his vision spark.

“You really want another night in that shed, don’t you, love?”

“N-no, Anti, no, please.”

Anti lets him go.

“So! What new medicine is Dap getting? Or would you like me to keep sedating him til his freaky little brain cells put themselves right again?”

Doktor’s mouth opens dryly. He pushes anxiously at his glasses, trying to think.

“Fanapt might be okay,” he manages finally, licking at his lips. “Kind of a newer medication. But I’d like him to be tapered off the Haldol and then - ”

“Yeah, okay, I’ll handle it.”

“Oh, but, please, don’t start him with too much, it - ”

“Doktor, you know I have the whole fucking internet under my fingertips, right? I’ll read the goddamn research report or whatever. There, that wasn’t so hard, was it? You can go back to your fucking nap now.”

Shaking a little, Doktor lies back down, his eyes pricking, though he couldn’t tell you exactly why if he wanted to.

Just feels like a betrayal.

“Oh, yeah!” Anti pauses to look at him one more time from the doorway. “I’m about to do some work with Dap and Trick and you might feel the… how do I put it… ripple effects. So if you start feeling weird, that’s why. Don’t come bother me about it. You’ll be fine.”

He slips off into the hall.

Anonymous asked: trick, dok's ok now! he's out of the shed, he's with red and blue and he's safe!!

Trick and Dapper are playing cards.

Dapper can’t hold them with his fingers tied up like this, but Trick found a solution.

Trick puts a six down.

Trick puts a three down.

Trick puts a six down.

Dapper and Trick slam their hands down on the card at nearly the same time, with Dapper’s hand just barely beating Trick’s, and Trick ending up slapping the top of his little brother’s hand. Chuckling, he makes an exaggerated noise of disappointment and shoves the cards towards Dapper, who pulls them into his pile.

Trick looks worn, but his melancholy face gives Dapper sudden warm smiles every couple minutes. Dapper is doing his best to smile back, grateful for a reason to keep the blood flowing in his hands. There’s a slight twitch in his right eye.

Trick glances up at your message and suddenly the warm smile is for you.

“Oh, he’s okay!” Trick rubs at his chest over his heart, his eyes glazing slightly. “Th-thank God, I was worried. Maybe Anti will let him come see me soon if he let Dapper in!”

The door creaks open.

Dapper and Trick turn towards it as one, the cards fluttering out of Trick’s hands.

“Hi, Anti,” he says softly, trying to smile for him.

“Hi,” Anti answers, reaching down to pet Trick’s hair. “Sorry I was gone last night. Let me make it up to you. Are you two playing games? I have a game we could play too.”

Trick chews on his lip, a little unnerved, plucking at Anti’s sleeve. His eyes flicker to Anti’s backpack. A length of string dangles out of it. Dapper has gone very white, staring down at the floor, silenced in every sense of the word.

Anonymous asked: Who’s the dog muzzle for, Anti? If you put that on Trick we’re going to have a problem.

“Oh, come now, my dear.”

Anti sets his backpack down and pulls out the great dark muzzle.

Trick’s pupils bloom into moons, his gaze fixed on the old muzzle.

“This was one of my best controls, when I was breaking him in,” Anti purrs, running his hands along the small, stiff spikes on the inside of the mask. Trick’s fingers drift mindlessly up to his chin, where the old scars are hidden beneath his beard. “You remember, Trick, I can see it in your eyes. You were never better behaved than that first month after I broke you in, and let you be Dapper’s little bodyguard… his twin, his friend…”

Anti steps forward. Trick does not move. Dapper shrinks back.

“You would be so excited to see me. You trusted me completely - with your face, with your hunger, with your dignity. What little of it you had left, anyway. Maybe you always wanted me to strip it away, so you could justify the person that I’d made you into. There was no thought of suicide, then, because you knew something that you have since forgotten - ”

For a second, Anti’s eyes are black instead of blue.

“Your life belongs to me.”

Blue again.

“Of course, we ran into our little problem later, and I had to take the two of you apart. And Doktor was always so ashamed when he would hear about how his twin had let me put this on him, do you remember?”

Scarlet explodes through Trickshot’s cheeks and he turns his head away, panting.

Anti reaches forward to touch his neck.

“Tell you what,” he says lowly. “I’ll settle for the collar for now. Provided, of course, that you play nice and set a good example for your little brother, so that he can get back to where he needs to be, like when the two of you were twins, and he was my puppy too. How does that sound?”

Dapper has recoiled all the way to the corner, his eyes flickering desperately around the room. Trick, for his part, is frozen stiff, staring at the muzzle.

He can almost see Doktor’s face - the horror in it at seeing his twin letting Anti put that thing on his face. He imagines disgust too. He always imagined disgust, though Doktor never gave him anything but comfort.

“That - that - that - that - ”

He swallows and tries to steady his stammer. Anti strokes at his beard.

“That sounds good.”

Anonymous asked: ANTI DON'T YOU DARE HURT HIM PLEASE HOLY SHIT

“Nobody has to get hurt if we all play nice,” hums Anti, stepping towards Dapper with his hands out-stretched, the black collar clutched in one fist. Trick holds the yellow one in shaking fingers. You watch him fix it around his neck, his face draining entirely of color, as if the collar had sucked it all out.

“I know you have to go gentle with Dapper,” says Anti, though his voice is cold as frost. “Otherwise he goes into his horrible little snaps, and near kills everybody around him. Treacherous little brain you have there, isn’t it? Even when you convinced yourself that I was the enemy, you could never direct your insanity just at me, could you? Do you remember, Dapper? Do you remember Red’s blood beneath your hands, and the dying tick-tock of a clock unwinding?”

Dapper pants fiercely, his nails scrabbling at the wall behind him, his hands bound, muted.

“Stupid little boy. You need a stronger hand to guide you. You’ve always needed a stronger guide than your brothers. Stupid, stupid little boy.”

Anonymous asked: Special doesn't mean valuable. You're a germ, Anti, and a temporary one at that. They won't follow you forever and you know it. And it's killing you. So have fun with that.

“A germ,” Anti hisses, stalking closer to Dapper, who fumbles at his side for a knife that no longer hangs there. Desperate, his stiff right hand manages to draw a circle at the wrist of his left -

“Blue! Blue! Blue!”

The only brother he can call for with his hands like this.

“Mama bluebird isn’t coming, songless lark. It’s just me and you and the other puppy. Isn’t that right, Tricky?”

Trick sits with his back to the bed, his hands suspended around his collar. He nods blankly, shaken.

“Are you a good boy, Trickshot?”

His face is beginning to look a little green. He nods again, weaker.

“Very good?”

“V-very - very - s-sorry, yes, very good.”

“Very good what?”

“Very good, m-master.”

“Trickshot’s going to get lunch,” smiles Anti. “Trickshot’s going to get water and sleep and a blanket to curl up in. You want that too, huh, my little Carver?”‘

Dapper’s eyes are filled with tears and hatred. Shoving himself back against the wall, he kicks out as hard as he can at Anti’s stomach.

The blow never lands. Anti grabs his ankle and then he attacks.

Dapper wheezes as his face, still bruised purple from last night’s beating, is shoved into the floor of Trick’s room and his arms yanked back so hard he fears dislocation. But you know what? He’s taken it before, and he’s taken it more willingly than this, and no matter what, he survived it. He survived it. He can fucking take it. No more shoving him around. If he’s going to die, he’ll do it with his dignity. Not like this fucking coward has the courage to end his life, anyway.

He slams his head back into Anti’s chin, snarling, proud to elicit a sharp, furious cry. And then Anti has grabbed him by the hair, and he disciplines, striking Dapper’s head against the cold linoleum again, and again, and again -

There is a second where Dapper exists outside of time entirely.

His hands could move it if he only had the strength.

But blood trickles swift from the side of his head and he cannot keep his focus. His eyes slip to silver only for a second, and then they are blue again, and he is trapped beneath Anti’s hands, wailing without making a goddamn noise.

Not that anyone would be able to save him if they could hear.

the-weirdest-fan asked: Ooh what's the plot of this puppet show?

“This puppet show,” pants Anti. “Is about a very naughty little child.”

Beneath his hands, a 30-year-old with intelligence more than enough to hate Anti passionately.

“The child was born stupid, and broken, and completely unwanted. Its master took it in one day because the brothers who claimed to love it were not watching over it, and it was helpless.”

Beneath his hands, the most powerful little magician ever to walk the face of the earth, doing his damnedest to flip Anti off with bloodless fingers.

“Everything the child became, it became because of its master. Everything that the child loved, it had because its master had given it.”

Dapper hand flails desperately in front of his chin, trying to get the pointer finger to stick out - “Liar!”

Anti presses down harder on his neck, pinning him to the floor with his knee between his shoulderblades. Somewhere behind him, Trick has staggered to the bathroom to vomit.

“Its master worked very hard for it, and gave it everything it needed. But as soon as the master started giving attention to another one of its puppets, the child began to think that it hated the master. Maybe it thought that because its mind was so broken and strange. Or maybe, just maybe, the stubborn, stupid little puppet had caught on to something that all of its brothers cannot see no matter what I show them, something that changed everything about the plot of the play, changed everything about the child’s life, and purpose, and loyalty…”

Anti leans in, bowed over Dapper’s body, and he places his lips at the very base of his ear, so Dapper could feel the movement of his mouth.

“I hate you so much I would die just to make sure you and your precious fucking brothers spend the rest of your miserable lives suffering hell on Earth.”

Dapper has gone still, his wide eyes staring at you, frozen.

Anti draws away again. Blood drips through the bandages on his neck.

“But whether Jameson had understood this truth or not did not matter to its master. All that mattered was that the child was broken again, and it was up to the master to put it back together.”

The tie is suddenly wrapped around Dapper’s throat and pulled so tight he gags, spasming desperately beneath Anti’s hands, his rapid heartbeat visible in a vein on his throat.

“And the master always knew, no matter what the puppet did,” hisses Anti. “Exactly how to shatter the puppet in exactly the right way to put its broken mind back together again the way that he liked it.”

And Anti summons all the power he has left inside him, and unleashes.

The power makes your camera short out.

End Section Three of Chapter Two.

Find the next section here.

#abuse tw #see all tws #chapter two #the chains that bind us

17 notes · View notes

bisexualfelicity · 5 years

Text

No Other Version of Me - Prologue (1/?)

Summary: Amalia Queen was once said to be so important that the universe made sure she happened. Yes, it was her mom who said that but it still counts. Now, she's an adult and struggles to be worthy of such sentence. She doesn't want to be a vigilante and make so many sacrifices like the rest of her family, but it doesn't mean she doesn't want to save the world.

Sequel to "Five Lives"

Note: I know many writers have already done their take on next gen and canon did make it kinda pointless, but I promised to one (1) person I'd write this like two years ago and I don't like lying. Also the crossover episodes made me sad and I wanted to go to my happy place.

It's a sequel to Five Lives, so the Next Gen here is NOT Mia and co, as she hadn't been introduced when I wrote it.This first chapter is a prologue, it doesn't feature any known character but it was relevant for plot resons that will be clear later! Please, bear with me!

Read under “read more” or here on AO3.

May 2027.

It was the day. Karima felt her palms sweating as soon as she woke up; she had to close her eyes and steady her breath before getting up. As always, Taliq had gotten up before her and had already left for work. She took that as confirmation that he didn’t suspect a thing. A few hours, that was how long she needed to hold still and fake her smile. After two years of planning, she could barely believe she was that close from freedom. Her heart didn’t seem to want to wait that long, almost bursting from her chest, trying to make an early escape. It’s almost done now, she told herself. We’re almost there.

Waking up the girls was easy. Just routine. She can almost feel herself relaxing into it, braiding Samyia’s hair as Naila draws in her book and tells the story behind what she’s drawing. Those moments with her girls are what fuels her spirit.

“You look so pretty,” Karima told Samyia, kissing her cheek, “So grown up.”

The smile that blossoms on her daughter’s face is enough to blind anyone. Samyia is always so serious, Karima received every smile as a precious gift.

“What about me? Do I look pretty too?” Naila asked, leaving her drawing behind to join the others.

“Of course you do, my love,” Karima said, kissing the top of her head and pulling both girls into a hug.

The door opened and the room became silent. Taliq stared at them with no emotion and didn’t say anything. There was a time where he would have smiled at the scene, where he would ask if he could join the hug. Karima wished she had forgotten about those days, it would make things easier for her. But every morning when he came by, she hoped it would be the day she’d see her husband again.

She should know better. Her husband was long gone and only the monster lived there now.

Karima squeezed Samyia’s hand but encouraged both girls to follow their father. Not that they needed encouragement, they knew it was time to go. Karima wished she could tell them to hold on for a few hours and everything would be okay, but she couldn’t risk telling them anything. She just let their girls go. She was always watching them go and staying behind.

“Do not forget about the party tonight,” Taliq told her, “I left some money for you to do your hair. We want to make a good impression.”

Karima just nodded. More money was good, time was even better. Just a few hours, she reminded herself as she started packing the girls’ clothes. They couldn’t bring much, but she didn’t want them to need anything if something went wrong. Looking around the girls’ room she wondered if she should take any of their toys. There definitely wasn’t enough space for that, but she ended up getting Samyia’s favorite blanket and a few of Naila’s recent drawings. If something happened… No, she couldn’t think like this.

Her room was the easiest, she got fewer change of clothes for herself than she had for the girls. She had sold most of her jewelry over the last two years, but there were still a few valuable things that she packed in case they needed them later. When she was done the bag was so full that it was hard to close, but she managed it.

She had to wait until she was sure none of the house employees were around to take the bag outside, to hide it in the middle of the garden’s bushes. She texted Inaya to say the plan was on time, praying her friend would not change her mind today.

Inaya was the only other person who knew about her plan. She was the one who had told Karima that she could do this, that she could get her girls away from Taliq.

A moment later, Inaya confirmed that everything was ready for them.

The worst part was the waiting. The minutes passed and nothing happened. Karima wouldn’t need help prtending to be sick, her stomach was turning inside her and she couldn’t stop sweating. But she couldn’t risk it, so she took the little vial of poison anyway. Not enough to cause permanent damage, Inaya had said, just enough to make sure you’d be sick.

This was it, this was either the last day of her life or the first day of her new one.

By the time Taliq came back she was kneeling in front of the toilet throwing her organs up. Despite her body hating her right now, she knew she had done the right thing. The dark under her eyes couldn’t be faked.

“What is going on?” Taliq asked when he arrived in the room, “You look disgusting! How are we going to be seen this way?”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m feeling terrible. I can’t go tonight.”

She saw the anger in his eyes, she prepared herself for one of his violent kicks, but it didn’t come.

“Maybe we’ll get a new baby soon, huh? A boy this time?” He was smiling. Karima’s heart broke for the man he used to be.

“It might be the flu,” she answered, her voice tired. She tried to smile back to him, but she couldn’t. She hoped he’d attribute it to her sickness.

“It’d be great if we could replicate the work we’ve been doing with Naila,” he continued, as she hadn’t said anything. “We’re almost there, habibi.”

This time the pet name didn’t do anything to make her feel bad about her plans. He was almost done which meant her time was over. This was her only chance.

“Are you going to be okay by yourself?” Taliq asked.

“Yes, I just need to rest. Tomorrow I’ll feel a lot better.”

Tomorrow a lot of things would be different.

Taliq nodded and turned away, getting ready for his own event. Karima tried to compose herself and lay down on her bed, as if to rest her eyes for a moment. When Taliq left, she only knew because she was paying attention to all the sounds in the house and heard the door closing.

She waited half an hour to be sure he wouldn’t come back and then got up. Now it was the crucial part of the night. All she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry until the nausea stopped, but there was no time for that. First, she had to tell the maid to go for the night. She had been ready to stay with the girls, since she and Taliq were to be at the event, and was already getting them ready for bed. Convincing her was not difficult, even sick, she had authority in the house.

“Are you going to tell us a story, mommy?” Naila asked when she entered their room.

“I thought you were going to the fancy party tonight,” Samyia commented, noticing her mom in comfortable home clothes.

“Not right now, babies, we’re going to do something different today,” she whispered to them, “I need you to be awake for a bit longer, okay? Why don’t you two go draw something while you wait for me to come back?”

Both girls nodded. Naila loved drawing and jumped out of bed the moment she could, running to her colored pencils. Samyia stared at her mom for a while, wondering what was happening, but she didn’t question it, just obeyed. They always obeyed.

Convincing the security guard to leave was the hardest part. There was only one guarding the house, the other one had gone to get something to eat, the way they always did when they were left to guard the house during the night and Taliq wasn’t there. Karima had observed enough to know that. The second guard wouldn’t be back for at least half an hour. Doing her best to show her pain, she begged the guard to go to the pharmacy and buy her the medicine she wanted. For months now, she had been telling everyone she didn’t trust ordering things online, liked seeing them. All this just for this moment.

The guard hesitated, he knew if Taliq arrived now he’d be in trouble. He should never leave the house unguarded but he couldn’t say no to Karima. Not when she was clearly in pain and he was the only one who could go, she could not leave the house alone at this time of the night. In the end, he ended up leaving, saying he’d be back in less than fifteen minutes.

Karima’s heart raced in her chest. There was not enough time, she ran upstairs as soon as she closed the door behind her. Her daughters looked at her alarmed when she entered.

“Come with me,” she told them, and grabbed each by the hand.

Naila complained a little about how fast they were going while Samyia only looked confused. They got out through the backdoor and Karima sighed in relief when Inaya was waiting in the dark, holding the bag she had hidden earlier.

“Everything on schedule?” Inaya asked instead of greeting her, Karima just nodded and handled both girls to Inaya.

“That’s mommy’s friend, Inaya. Do what she says until I come back, okay?” she told the children, and then turned to her friend. “If I’m not there in ten minutes, go.”

Inaya didn’t look happy about that but they had discussed it before. The priority was taking Samyia and Naila out of there. Without time to explain for her daughters what was happening, Karima hoped Inaya would comfort them enough, so she ran back inside.

She ran straight to Taliq’s lab. It was locked by fingerprint and a 6-number password. The DNA had been easier than she imagined it would be since they lived in the same house, but the password was harder. She wasn’t allowed in the lab, hadn’t been there since Naila was little, and the password changed every month. She had searched the entire house to see if Taliq had written it somewhere, but she had no luck. She could have asked for the girls to pay attention when their father was typing and tell her later, but she couldn’t risk them accidentally telling that to the wrong person.

It had been hard, it took her being extra nice and agreeable to Taliq for weeks, but over the last month she managed to have him open the door in front of her. And then it was completed.

With less care than she should, she added his fingerprint and the numbers and she was there. She went directly to the machine, Taliq’s golden mine. She knew the schematics must have been uploaded somewhere, but she couldn’t be bothered with that. She started taking things apart with her own hands. It’d be faster if she was stronger, but there wasn’t anyone else who could do this. When she had done the best she could, she started opening the cabinets, searching for anything flammable and dropping in to the floor. She looked for anything that had the girls’ DNA and dropped it as well.

When her watch started beeping, she knew her time was up. With the lighter she had gotten the week before, she started the fire. It wasn’t spreading as fast as she thought it would, so she tried dropping more flammable things near it. Starting to get desperate for the fire to become bigger, she opened the drawer full of chemicals and started pouring them on the floor. The fire started to spread quickly after that and almost burned her. The smoke started to spread through the windowless room, her entire body told her to get out of there soon or she wouldn’t be able to breathe for much longer, but Karima couldn’t help but admire what she had just done. Taliq’s life work was in flames and he had no idea. No matter what happened from now on, it was over.

She turned to go out just to remember the door was closed. Her vision was starting to get foggy with the smoke, tears forming in her eyes, but she managed to open it, immediately coughing when she got in contact with the clean air. She had to drag a metal chair to stop the door from closing again. Luckily the floor was made of wood and would help spread the fire faster.

Getting out of the lab, she went straight to the kitchen, making the oven start leaking gas, and dropped the lighter on the floor. Soon, everything would explode. She could see the flames starting to spread out of the lab and ran away through the backdoor.

She ran all way to the meeting point, a block from her house, where Inaya was waiting inside the car with both girls. When she pulled the door open, Inaya didn’t say anything, just started the car.

Samyia and Naila started asking questions as soon as Karima arrived, but she was too busy coughing to answer. She had breathed the smoke for too long and running to the car hadn’t help her lack of oxygen.

“There’s some water in the back,” Inaya said, and Karima searched for it.

The water burned when she drank it, but it helped relieve some of the pain.

The weight of what she had just done seemed to suddenly hit her. The tears started forming in her eyes and before she could stop herself she was sobbing. For years, she had kept her tears to herself, being strong for her daughters, faking a smile so Taliq wouldn’t find out about her plans. But now it was over, she was free! She cried so much she could barely breathe, but she couldn’t stop either. The feelings needed to get out of her right now.

“This is as far as I can take you,” Inaya said, touching her arm to get her attention. “Here are the new identities. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more.”

“You have done more than I can ever repay you,” Karima answered, smiling under her tears.

“What’s going on, Mommy? Where are we?”

“I’ll explain everything later, I need you both to be quiet now, please, just go with me. Tomorrow I’ll tell you everything.”

Where they were was the bus station, where they’d get a bus to another city, and then they’d meet a guy who was going to take them over the border. Once there, they’d get a train, and then they’d have to pay someone to take them closer to the mountains. And once they were close, they’d have to walk for miles until they could get there.

And that’s what they did. As they completed each step and got farther from home, farther from Taliq, Karima felt the relief taking over her body. She had done it, she had truly done it. She didn’t let herself wonder about what happened there. If Taliq was searching or mourning them. If he had found out about Inaya’s connection to her. This was all secondary to her freedom.

She only noticed that she hadn’t stopped coughing since the fire when Naila asked if she was still sick. But she didn’t mind it at first, it was just a cough. But it didn’t go away and, by the time they got to the mountains, it had started being a lot harder to breathe. She couldn’t go to a doctor, couldn’t risk anything official and she didn’t want to stop. Over a week had passed and Taliq would know by now they were all alive, would be searching for them. Her mission wasn’t over yet.

Samyia and Naila were scared and tired. They trusted their mom, but they had never left the city before, had never done anything without their father’s authorization. They missed their home, their bed, their food and their routine. For years, they had complied with everything done with them, but now they’d beg Mom to stop. Naila would cry in silence and Samyia would refuse to move.

But the worst part was when she could see the fear in their eyes. When they noticed that mom was coughing up blood, they insisted on stop, but Karima made them continue to walk. One foot in front of the other, even when her lung seemed to burn under her skin and her feet hurt so much it could fall down, Karima did not stop. Not even if she had to crawl, she would arrive.

And after days, she saw something. Her body fell on the ground and she had to do so much effort to walk, she wondered if she’d die now that she was so close.

When they arrived in the gates, women with swords received her. She could barely talk now, her throat was too damaged for that.

“Please,” she whispered, “You need to protect my daughters.”

This was all she ever needed.

Despite their frightening weapons and eyes, they helped Karima and the girls inside. They took her to an infirmary and gave her medicine.

But Karima knew it was too late for her. She knew there was something wrong with her lungs. She made a choice when she decided to run away, to save her children. She had never felt so much pain in her life, but she was smiling.

Her girls were safe now.

She had saved them and now the League would protect them.

#olicity fic #arrow fic #arrow #olicity #nyssara #nyssara fic #crossover made me sad so i decided to just post this already

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ts-2020-olympics · 5 years

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EPISODE 5 - “https://streamable.com/2bc03” - Beck

So, I have a very good idea as to what happened. Karen thought they were the one to go with their score, and successfully convinced everyone else to get rid of me. Either to get the gold or to get rid of me, I'm not sure. But I'm on to them. Make no mistake.

Well, to recap past round, Ben ended up winning the gold medal and returning to the game, which I really appreciate, so he'll be immune next tribal he attends, which am sure he is happy with. That led to Nik W being the next person eliminated. Then, as well at the arena, Stoner won the silver medal for his tribe, I won the Bronze medal for my tribe, then Pete won nothing. Today's immunity challenge was a maze, went into the maze thinking I should get a decent time, as I did mazes a bit as a kid, but then my dumb self didn't save the maze properly so had to redo it, then my internet decided to act up so had to refigure out lightshot which cost me more time. So I ended up with a really rough score, thankfully the 40% bonus will help a little, but I just feel bad and embarrassed by the time I got, and feel like if my tribe loses, it's going to be because of me. I can't even be too active tomorrow to discuss vote with people if my tribe loses as I am going back home tomorrow, which just makes matters even worse. So, at the moment, I don't feel too hot, but at the same time, I shouldn't let one bad round set me back either.

first loss as a new tribe, rip. I don’t know how this vote may go because i’ve chatted and bonded with everyone on this tribe, well except kevin and kinda nicole, and no one is really sticking out like an asshole. The new mari-whatever tribe has been just chill vibes which is nice but makes strategy much harder cus like what if they’re all secretly just agreed in getting me out? Who knows. I did talk with Landen and we agreed we wanna work together, he threw out the idea that he may be leaning towards voting out an old Shosha member and he hasn’t talked with Kevin or Nicole at all. I’m talking to Eve, Sammy, and Jacob C as well, maybe we could be a voting block...? We’ll see.

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Sarah felt she’s in danger because of Billy trying to get her out last tribal. I can’t have Sarah out because her and I trust each other so then I think of this idea. Nik just got voted out, Billy is targeting Sarah now... what if I spread a rumor that Billy has a plan to pick off all the yujo members and has a hit list and is playing way too hard now? So basically i tell all my allies that eve and I are really scared because someone told us that Billy wants to pick off the yujo people for an easy vote these next few rounds in the hopes that people won’t trust him if he’s playing too hard like that and hopefully the word gets back to the sonkei tribe members.

So we have a problem, Eve and I are sticking together as former yujo so we let each other know what the other person has found out. So anyways I talk with Landen for a little while, I trust him, and he proposes this plan to vote out a former Shosha tribe member which i’m not against. He says he’s talked a little with Sammy and Jacob C too. So I let Eve know and she says interestingly enough she’s been talking to Nicole and Nicole proposed that her, Eve, Kevin, and myself all vote together and Eve says maybe against Landen. Eve also let’s me know that Nicole and Jacob C are very very close. So now Eve and I are split, I want to vote with Landen and get a Shosha tribe member out, she doesn’t wanna go against Nicole and wants to vote Landen out. We’re kinda the swing vote here and I want us to make the right decision.

tribal is getting closer and closer and nobody wants to make a decision! They’re ALL asking ME what to do which i guess is nice but i don’t want them all thinking of me as the decision maker this early. Right now it’s between landen or kevin going so i’m doing what i can to make sure everyone’s fine with writing Kevin’s name down.

Let's make this quick because I am obviously stressed as fuck and I just had the most whack ass dream about this game. In it, half this cast got kicked out of the game for being minors and it was actually a Facebook game, then we appealed it and held a whole trial bc some chick compared us to South African famous wanted murderers and we were offended so we held a trial and won the appeal and all the minors got back in the game but then there was instant tribal council and it was a live tribal and we were all whispering to send home someone named Charlotte who isn't even in this cast I... Yeah. So you can tell THAT'S how paranoid I am about this tribal council, my brain is driving me insane. We going in a million different directions!!! Anyway here's what happened last night. As SOON as I sent in my video confessional saying things are going to be fine, Pete messaged me (hilariously enough, he literally just messaged me with news AGAIN, but we'll get to that later.. it wasn't big enough to change the whole confessional) and said that things had blown up. Essentially what he told me was that Nicole is very close with Eve, but she's also very close with Jacob. Because of this those three kind of took control, and essentially Nicole wants to work with Eve/Pete/Kevin/Jacob. That would leave me and Sammy on the bottom. I knew as soon as I heard that, that Nicole's plan was to vote me out tonight. Jacob loves Sammy, so if they're working together closely, I'm the target, that much is obvious. So basically this entire day would be a race to make sure that we can sway Eve and/or Jacob and make sure the votes are on KEVIN, not on me. Because he doesn't talk to anyone. I gave my best pitch to Eve, but I don't think it worked that much, she doesn't like being in the middle. Nicole/Sammy/Jacob were all like "I'm at work" "i'm driving somewhere" "i'm at a party" lol we love excuses. I'm not buying your fake shit, you just don't want to talk to me. Notice how I said would be though.... Teehee! Well, turns out, I told Juls about all this madness, and my hero, the light of my life, has decided to help me out by giving me a Sit-out-at-tribal advantage! Not 100% sure how it works yet, I REALLY hope I get to make some dramatic play with it at tribal and actually talk about using it... But if not, I'm just glad for the safety. While I'm not 100% sure if it would be me or Kevin going home and if we could sway the votes, I'm not willing to risk my safety at the arena. It's just not going to happen. And I want to see how interesting things get when I return! So when it comes to this tribal, that's honestly my main plan. Sit out with Juls' advantage. Laugh as the fireworks play... Hope to GOD that Kevin, who probably gets sent home, dies in the Arena too. Gotta have faith he can be beat. I'm not amazing at challenges, good, but not confident enough that I'm willing to risk my spot in the Arena now that it's gotten down to all active people who are giving it their 100%. Notice how I said I'd make this quick but I didn't? Yeah this is a mess. So... tonight is going to be VERY. Very fun. You could even say it'll be a disaster..? For them, at least.

So, Darcy could prove to be a useful asset to bring close to the end. He voted for me last round, and he said he figured that'd reduce trust between us. Honestly, he's absolutely right, I want very little to do with him now, but I'm just "playing nice" until it's time to cut him out.

Billy is going. Kinda hope he comes back so we can win. Even if we don't it's nice to have an easy vote. I think I need to position myself just a little bit better here. Even if i'm not near the bottom, I need to act like it. I need to have chris and jordan's loyalty over emma. And Emma's over theirs. I need to be in the power position, without being viewed that way. Me not going on skype might help that perception. I'm good at these challenges, this one not included, so I should be solid going forward.

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i’m playing a spreading info game.... is it gonna get me in trouble? maybe! it might! but it could also get me far so high risk high reward. please pray that the info i’m leaking doesn’t get tacked back to me

This first part of the game for me has been some of the worst gameplay that I've ever displayed. I've received votes every single tribal, I've made no strong connections, the only guy I trusted 100% got his ass voted out, and I'm sitting in the Arena for the second time. It makes you wonder how the fuck I do this shit without breaking down. Well, that's sort of what I did. I broke down after that tribal man, hard. I fkn hate getting emotional man but it felt like complete SHIT being alone and neglected. Truth is, every way I put it, even though I don't wanna admit it, I got no one but myself to blame. What I need in this game is a reset button. When I come back, and I WILL come back from that arena, I need to start a clean slate and get all that chaos the fuck outta there...for now. Fuck I need to win that arena. So bad. When I go back to Sonkei, Imma make sure that I'm the one on top.

So for starters, my tribe won immunity the other day, so we got the tribal break we deserved! Now, waiting on arena, where Juls from my tribe, Landen from Miraitowa, and Jordan from Sonkei are competing for Silver and Bronze, then Pete and Billy are competing for the gold. In which, my ideal scenario is Billy winning the gold and coming back, as I feel like he could be a potential ally I could have come another swap or merge if him and I make it there together. Then I'd want Juls to win the silver, since it'd be helpful for next challenge for yushu, then can potentially win another immunity! Preferably in this scenario, Landen wins the Bronze, just so that one of the other tribes don't end up coming back with two medals. Anyways, this game is fun, and I made final 19, now to see if I can find anything in Olympic Village this next round, as I have still yet to find something.

I'm going to go ahead and try to improve this situation slightly. I think I have the makings of a fantsatic position, it just needs to be perfect. Billy and Emma fighting at tribal while Chris was doing his own thing pretty much sums up everything I needed. I need either Chris or Jordan to be my new #1. Jordan appears to be a paranoid nut, Chris is the opposite. I tend to have greater successes with the paranoid nut, but who knows. They need to like me back, which is easier said than done. If Billy comes back we are likely winning the challenge. We won't of course, cause that's who we are, but who knows. My semester starts up tomorrow, which is going to harm my activity a tad, and I'm already not that active, but we'll see how that influences anything.

I DID IT I DID IT I FUCKING DID IT THEY ALL THOUGHT ID JUST BE A FORGETTABLE PREJURY BOOT ID SUCK AT ARENA AND BE DONE AND GUESS WHAT IVE NEVER DONE ANY SKYPE ORGS BEFORE AND I STILL FUCKING DID IT SCREW YOU JACOB C SCREW YOU SAMMY SCREW YOU NICOLE AND SCREW YOU KEVIN I AM HERE BECAUSE I FOUGHT FOR IT AND I FUCKING WANTED IT BAD AND I TOOK OUT BILLY TO BE HERE!!! HELL FUCKIN YEAH DUDE IM NOT PLAYING NICE WITH ANY OF THESE BITCHES ANYMORE

I’ll do a video later. Billy got voted out which was unfortunate as I really like billy and vibe with him but it doesn’t make sense to flip when I think I’m in a good position right now. I had a good convo with Sarah, really vibe with her. I have my alliance with Jordan, Jacob, and Em which I feel good about they’re just real quiet. Need to talk to them more 1 on 1. I have my duo with Pines that I feel real confident about. I hope that’s not my downfall this game but I think pines and I are gonna do great things.

https://streamable.com/2bc03 - pete wins the gold medal.mp4

Well baby dolls, basically eve tried to exclude me from an alliance but I beat that bitch to the punch! And my fearsome foursome played her like a fiddle while she thought I was going home unanimous in all actuality we had the upper hand and dropped the hammer on Pete 4-2, with Landen volunteering for the arena Eve was left to fend for herself for cute little 24 hours and chaos ensued when she realized what happened hopping between calls and chats to damage control for her lack of judgement in including me into things, therefore she feels on the outs and while I was a part of this scheme and to an extent playing a role of the victim who found solace in a group of three who wanted to vote for me, all of which is false, I’m still using these moments to rebuild a bridge I never knew got burned to ashes so she can potentially INCLUDE me in things going forward, after all we’re both out of the loop right? ;)

Tribal was quite spicy. Nobody reacted to Stoner rolling a blunt while em and billy were arguing and my soul left my body from trying not to laugh. Just found out Billy is not coming back, which honestly whew, because I feel like he'd come back with some vengeance. He's probably a good team player normally, but my only impression was..not great! Hopefully we can come together as a tribe now and aim to NOT go to tribal in the first place. Although I still feel like, entering into this new tribe, there are many, many layers. Salty, spicy layers. Like a delicious onion dip.

Nicole, watch your ass.

So let me backtrack to before tribal. You’re probably wondering how I got here! *record scratch* Anyway, so we constructed a tribe to have a 4-3 majority, and in doing that there was always going to come a day where when we lost we would have to choose who was going to go between Pete, Eve and Landen. I feel badly because, they’re newbies and obviously putting a reasonable effort into this game BUT, it’s the name of the game, if the returnees didn’t band together we were going to get picked off and have a hard time like Karen is on their tribe. Anyway, so the day comes and we have to go to tribal. NONE of the newbies talked to me about game before we lost. I need to point that out. As soon as we lost Eve said “what the hell are we gonna do now”....m’am! WE? WHO’S WE? anyway, I played along and was just about to tell her we were going to vote out Pete when she says she was on a tribe with Pete and could make a good number for us. She says I can pull in Jacob...Jacob can pull in Sammy...hold on a minute. Are we leaving out Kevin? WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE KEVIN? This might as well be a Home Alone sequel because they’re leaving Kevin out of EVERYTHING! or at least that’s what I’m being told (more on that later). So I don’t want any weird advantages to get pulled out of anyone’s pocket at tribal and so I obviously go along with it, I say everyone is fine, Jacob will vote with them, we hate Kevin. Basically whatever we need to do. Honestly, I don’t feel bad. You can’t not talk to people for a full two rounds and then decide when you lose you now have a majority. Anyway so, good thing we kept the Pete vote a secret! Because I feel like Eve would have been able to make whoever had the advantage (Juls, I think) use it on Pete and then we would have been REALLY screwed. Anyway, it worked out. We voted for Pete. He left. Eve yelled. The more than curious thing that happened after the vote that makes me second guess my whole alliance is the fact that Beck came out of nowhere and told me that Sammy knew about the advantage because Juls was talking about it on a call (WHICH IS AGAINST THE RULES BC SHES AT THE ARENA BUT I GUESS WE JUST FORGET THAT PART FOR NOW BECAUSE THERES A BIGGER POINT) Anyway, in short I need to focus on keeping more info for myself and not telling my alliance. I’m used to having a ride or die alliance that I can pour info into like I did with Kinky Booties in Seychelles. I knew that info was going to aid in me going forward. Here I’m not so sure. They could literally vote me out next if they want me and push Eve into my spot because she’s a newbie and in that way, less of a threat. But anyway I tell Beck, as I’m telling them, Beck keeps writing to me as if he is being instructed to tell me more info. I don’t know if it was Juls (again, against the f*ing rules, these newbies are..!!!) or if it was someone in the alliance, maybe Jacob or Kevin. I wouldn’t think Sammy but, I don’t know. Anyway I don’t feel safe, and I’ve beat my lowest placement that I’ve ever gotten BUT, that doesn’t mean I want to get out just yet. I don’t feel good about winning this game but I would like to make it onto a jury for once (I’m always at FTC if I get past premerge 🥳) That’s all I got so far, check back in for my MENTAL BREAAAAK after immunity results for next round bc if we lose, I’m gonna cry. I can’t deal with this again, especially since the whole Pete situation has been pawned off on me.

SO we ended up switching the vote within the last few hours to save Karen <3! Karen made a push to save herself by going after one of the OG Blue tribe (Ben) and I was fine with the vote since me and Beck had already been in the works to blindside him in the future and since I think Karen will be more reliable at the moment I was willing to stick my neck out if Juls and Caeleb were down for the plan. With that being said I left it in their hands to make the decision so that it feels like I'm with them and shows them as power players to Beck. As soon as they made the decision I ran to Beck with the news so that he would be in the minority and for him to tell Darcy. I ended up voting Karen because I knew she would be safe but I wanted to create doubt and paranoia in everyone's mind on who voted with Ben and I think I wouldn't be the first suspect you think of. Only a subtle move. For the arena I was rooting for Billy to win to cause chaos on the Sonkei tribe and so that Pete would go home because I think Pete might become a big threat and I rather he be out now than later. Also apparently Juls used the exile to make Landen safe from their tribal council it was obvious they were each other's #1 but now other people are starting to see it. I think that we need to put an end to it because she's telling people like Sammy about her power who she's not even on a tribe with, so it shows she's planning on jumping ship the moment she's not on this tribe. Juls NEEDS to go home. I'm gonna push for her to go home this round, next time I'm on call with Beck I'm gonna try to convince him his best move is to get rid of Juls so that way a big threat is outta the game, and it makes the game that much smoother sailing. It might upset Caeleb but honestly I find people like Darcy and Karen very easy to work with and willing to work closely with me in the long term in comparison to himself or Juls. So my plan is to try and get Beck to consider going after Juls stating how she is not going to be loyal to us come a swap unlike Karen or Darcy would be.

I, big dumb dumb, would like to retract and apologize about what I said about Beck and Juls bc when Beck told me I actually did message Juls saying I’m stressed and it didn’t occur to me that I ALSO BROKE THE RULES. I turned myself in but, yeah......it’s way harder to remember not to talk to people than I realized. Shame on me for JUDGING THEM for being newbies and not knowing how to follow the rules. This is the opposite of my proudest moment lmao

Whew what a round. BIlly is gone and honestly gonna miss the guy, I think he would have been a great shield for me at early merge, but im not too bothered by it, because Pete is somoene I think I can work with, so like good either way with this one. If we go to tribal again I am going to be in a very awkward position. Because I dont want to vote out sarah and I think the rest of the tribe does, meaning Im gonna need to make a decision if she is gonna be expendable to me or not. ideally we win until a swap but judging by our performances so far... I wouldnt count on it. I think if we did lose Id convince stoner to work with Sarah and to take out one of emma or jacob. I liek them both but at this point Im running out of options. Im sure theyd do the same in my shoes. I'd like a tribe swap, but in the same sense Im a lil scared of a tribe swap too haha.

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Reallllyyyyy tired of going to tribal. Kinda scared of billy now

#zestypowerfuluniqueflavorfulhealthy #confessionals

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drabblesandheadcanons · 5 years

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Thunder and Fairy Lights

All credit to @bessie-bass-on-the-bass for the Foster Au concept!

The thunder is loud.

The thunder is very, very loud.

Relentless- the noise of it breaks like a wave over the dark bedroom, crashing down so forcefully that by the next peal, it’s still reverberating, an auditory undertow, and Joan is sinking.

She can’t block it out, she can’t escape it, she can’t move- and when she hears footsteps and her bedroom door creak open, she has to force herself to lie still and quiet.

A shaft of light falling over her bed; her face half hidden in the pillow.

She can’t make herself breathe slowly so she just doesn’t breathe at all (she’s done this before) and she hopes against hope that she has Jane fooled.

‘Joan?’

Jane’s voice is very soft- she’s clearly caught between not really believing that Joan is asleep but also not willing to risk waking her if by any chance she is.

‘Are you alright, sweetheart?’

She’s definitely heard something, and Joan digs her nails into her palms as hard as she can. Stupid stupid stupid.

Jane waits a moment.

‘If you need anything, you know where I am.’

She shuts the door, just as Joan is forced to give in and start breathing.

Thank goodness.

She does like Jane. She does. She’s definitely been in worse homes.

Except that’s the problem- she knows she can deal with not-nice, she can survive worse (she has survived worse). And every home she’s ever been in began ok.

The inevitable deterioration has occurred with varying rapidity.

She’s not afraid (not much, not really, not anymore) that Jane will do anything really bad, it’s more the fear that Jane will weary of keeping up the patient, calm, gentle front for someone who is still so skittish, so quick to flinch, so unable to respond with the appropriate level of returned trust and affection.

She’s disappointed more than one person on that front before, and she knows that once they give up on her, it doesn’t take long for other things to start to slide.

So…. she’s waiting. On her guard. She knows she won’t be able to tell exactly when Jane is going to snap. She just knows it’s going to happen sooner or later.

Another roll of thunder rattles the sky- Joan feels it through her entire body- and her face, as she presses it deeper into the pillow, is wet with tears.

‘Kitty?’

In her room, Katherine is also pretending to be asleep- but less successfully than Joan.

Still, she attempts to breathe evenly and slowly….

Jane waits.

Eventually, her daughter opens an eye and rolls onto her back.

‘I was honestly only checking facebook for a moment….’

‘Which is why I can hear the Stranger Things music?’

Katherine at least has the grace to blush.

‘It’s Saturday, Mum. And it’s not like anyone could sleep through that thunder.’

‘I know, love. That’s not actually why I came in- I wanted to ask if you’d mind looking in on Joan for a moment.’

Katherine props herself up on an elbow.

‘Why? I mean, sure but why? Is she alright?’

‘I don’t think so- I’m not sure.’

Jane takes in the puzzlement on her daughters face.

‘I went in to check on her- I wanted to see if she was alright with the storm- and i think she was awake but she obviously didn’t want me to know. Would you mind just popping in and seeing if she’ll talk to you, love?’ Jane’s face creases in consternation. ‘I really don’t like to think of her being all alone if she’s frightened.’

‘Sure.’ Katherine slips out of bed and pulls her dressing gown on. ‘She might be fine though. Just- you know, reading or something.’

‘Maybe.’ Jane doesn’t look terribly convinced and to be honest, neither is Katherine herself. As she passes to the door, a kiss is pressed to her hairline and Jane’s arm wraps around her for a moment.

‘Thank you, love.’

Katherine’s heart breaks just a tiny bit as she pushes the bedroom door open. Joan is lying so still under the covers that she’s radiating with tension and oh god, Katherine can remember how that felt- stiff and still and counting the seconds until whoever it was went away, hoping and praying that they would give up.

‘Joan?’

She has a tiny pang of guilt- she knows Joan will be hoping exactly the same thing about her- and there’s a moment in which she wonders if that perhaps would be kinder, to just leave: Jane told her to check but she didn’t tell her to force Joan to talk to her, and besides, Jane does her best (and her best is wonderful, her best is more patient and kind and understanding than most peoples) but she’ll never quite understand what it’s like, for Katherine, for Joan, for all of them.

‘Are you awake?’

There’s no response- the poor girl clearly doesn’t want (or need) company, and she doesn’t need it foisted on her, so she’ll leave, she decides…. And then a wave of thunder crashes over the house as if it’s trying to tear the sky apart, and Katherine- not in the least afraid of thunder- starts and bangs her hip against the chest of drawers and wonders for a second if a building has collapsed nearby to cause such a noise…. And when she’s able to hear things that aren’t the noise outside, what she hears are Joan’s sobs, muffled with pillow and duvet, and she realises she can’t just leave.

‘Hey.’ She makes her way over to the bed slowly- slow and non-threatening- and perches on the edge of it. Joan is obviously trying to stifle herself and not really succeeding (Katherine remembers that too). ‘Are you ok?’ She pauses. ‘I mean…. Like, obviously not, stupid question, but… are you?’

There’s no response and she doesn’t blame the girl- Way to be confusing, Katherine. What she wants to ask is, why exactly are you crying? Is it the storm or is it because once upon a time, when you were little and the world was soft and open, Bad Things happened during a thunderstorm and now you can’t hear thunder without hearing Her voice or feeling His hands? Are you afraid of the noise and the darkness or are you afraid because you know what can happen behind the easy cover of noise, behind the easy curtain of darkness?

Of course, she can’t ask Joan that.

‘I hope you don’t mind. Mum and me coming in. We just wanted to see if you were ok.’

Silence, save a little hiccupy gasp.

‘Storms can be so scary, especially in a new place- we didn’t want you to be on your own.’

Still, nothing.

Think, Katherine- what does she need to hear? What did you need Jane to reassure you of, again and again and again, so many times, until you were sure she must be sick of it?

‘You’re not in trouble for being awake, I promise. Mum wasn’t like….coming in to tell you off. I promise.’

There’s a pause- long and longer- and then slowly, slowly, a corner of duvet pulls back. Joan’s voice is husky with tears, and tiny with fear.

‘I… woke you all up.’

It’s a question as well as a statement and Katherine sort of has to fight the urge to cry. It’s sad, it’s just…. So sad.

What have they done to you? And who are they?

She makes her voice soft as a kiss.

‘No, no, you really didn’t, honestly. Mum was awake already- don’t tell anyone but she really doesn’t like storms either, i think she thinks she’s going to get electrocuted because she says she knew someone who knew someone who went to school with someone who got struck by lightening…’ Katherine gives a fond chuckle and rolls her eyes. ‘I asked Cathy and she said it’s impossible…. Anyway, you definitely didn’t wake her is all I’m saying. And she would’ve come to check whether she heard you or not- she checks on me too.’

Joan is still looking at her intently and Katherine hears the unspoken question: And you?

‘You didn’t wake me either- I didn’t hear a thing actually, but then I was watching Netflix anyway. Have you watched Stranger Things?’

A tiny, almost imperceptible shake of the head.

‘It’s really good, you should. I’ll call up an episode for you tomorrow after school and you can see if you like it. Anyway-’

She’s cut off by another peal- it’s nowhere near as loud as the one before but Joan shrinks into her pillow and sobs again.

She looks so little and young that Katherine can’t bear it- she reaches out a hand to Joan’s shoulder and gently rubs up and down. It’s not the hug she’d like to give but it’ll do- it’s human contact anyhow.

Joan flinches at her touch but doesn’t roll away from it.

‘It’s alright, it’s ok’ It’s meaningless, Katherine knows that- she gropes for something more actually helpful. ‘Shall I put the light on? Sometimes things feel worse in the dark.’

(She knows that to be true.)

Joan looks hesitant, chewing her lip, and casts a longing look at the lightswitch by the door.

‘It’s fine. I’m ok now.’

Katherine could laugh at how un-convincing she sounds. If, of course, the whole thing wasn’t so desperately heartbreaking. Like, the girl still has tears in her eyes and she’s shivering.

‘Well, still-’

She gets up- she’d rather talk in the light anyhow- and Joan sits up so quickly her pillow falls on the floor.

‘No! Don’t!’

Katharine pauses, her hand at the switch.

‘Why?’

Joan’s hands twist on top of the covers; her head dips and she mumbles something.

‘What was that?’

It’s barely audible. ‘I don’t think- I don’t know if- Jane might not want me to- to waste the electricity.’

She looks so anxious and Katherine wonders how many times she’s been begrudged something just for the hell of it? How many petty displays of parental authority has this poor girl had to endure?

‘She won’t mind, Joan. Honestly.’

It’s quiet but steadfast. ‘She might.’

‘She won’t. Really. She’s never once cared if i turn my light on or not. Not once.’

‘That’s different.’

‘How?’

‘You’re… her real kid.’

Katherine wrinkles her nose.

‘You know I’m not Joan- we told you when you arrived, remember? Mum fostered me too and then she adopted me but I wasn’t with her until I was nine.’

‘Still.’ Joan is unwavering. ‘You’re still… real. She might not mind for you but-’

‘.....Oh.’

Katherine wishes she had words for this, wishes she had words to make all of this better. How to explain to someone who has been hurt and rejected and second-bested all their life that it’s going to be different the hundredth time round?

She can’t. It’s awful but she can’t- she doesn’t know how to argue this, she’s too tired, she’s not a grown up or a psychologist or a social worker or- or anything.

She can’t make Joan believe her, not in a night.

‘Come with me.’

But she can make things easier for the girl, for tonight at least.

Joan stands nervously on the threshold of Katherine’s room, arms tight around her stomache. Katherine fumbles behind her desk and holds up the end of her string of pink fairy lights for Joan to see.

‘See? They run on batteries. Nothing wasted, no electricity. They’re meant to stay on all night. Right?’

Joan gives a tiny nod. She isn’t quite sure where this is going, unless Katherine is just showing off that she gets to sleep in a light bedroom when Joan doesn’t.

‘So- you stay here tonight with my lights and it won’t be so scary and you don’t have to be afraid of getting into trouble. Right?’

Joan opens her mouth to object and then closes it. She wants to say it’s alright, she’s fine in her own room. She wants to say she doesn’t need to stay, that she isn’t scared at all.

But also… she doesn’t really want to. Not at all.

‘It’ll be fun- like a sleepover!’

Katherine looks happy, excited even. No one has ever looked really happy at the prospect of her company before.

After a second, Katherine’s smile falters- she looks unsure.

‘I can also just lend you the lights, too, of course. You don’t actually have to stay here, I won’t be offended- you’re very welcome to them-’

She leans over to unhook them from around the bedhead and Joan is suddenly scared- she’s ruined it, she’s going to have to go back to her own room by herself and while that was one thing before, now she’s actaully here in the pink coziness of Katherine’s room, it seems like a horrifying prospect.

‘Please-’

Katherine stops unhooking the lights and turns- Joan has taken another few steps inside and she looks absolutely terrified.

‘Please- can I…. stay?’

Katherine smiles.

‘Of course you can.’

(It turns out Joan does like Stranger Things, and with one of Katherine’s earbuds in, she can barely hear the thunder. The pink curtains over the window shut out the storm and she feels safely cocooned under the pink duvet, the fluffy blanket over the top. And Katherine is comfortingly warm and solid next to her, her arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer with every crash. It’s so warm and cozy that despite everything, she feels her eyes start to get heavy and then she can feel herself drifting.

She rouses slightly when the door opens- she’s too sleepy to be afraid of getting into trouble and Kitty’s arm is still over her, so she’s still safe- and she feels the bedcovers being tucked over them both more securely, the laptop being closed and placed on the floor.

The sound of a kiss as Jane leans over her- she’s obviously come in to say goodnight to Kitty, and thank goodness she isn’t cross at Joan’s intrusion and-

And then- a kiss. Against her own forehead this time.

A soft voice- perhaps she’s dreaming it: Sweet dreams, sweetheart.’

And she sinks back into sleep.

(The thunder doesn’t bother her again.)

#six #six the musical #six fanfiction #joan on the keys #jane seymour #katherine howard #found family #foster au #joan jane and kitty as a family unit #fluff

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