#pre order CAMILA today

[taenyfm]

PEOPLE STREAM NOW!!!! #preorderCAMILAtoday

[stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland]

Hi guys! As promised to that Anon, I wrote the timelines. I decided to write only the key points though because these are things we already know, and then, I’m sure there are more than a thousand proofs around and people who have already spoken about it. Enjoy.

Drum roll, please 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Let’s start with the first competitor: Tyrone William Griffin, aka Typical Dish Snacked Ty Dolla $ign 04/13/1982, the man who liked to tweet things like “I’m the curator of lesbians”.

PRen Tyren: As I already mentioned in the post “There is a light at the end of the tunnel”, it all started on the evening of November 15, 2016, when 5H went to the Epic party. Due to Laucy’s picture of the wedding and the ‘official’ coming out then occurred a few days later, on November 18, 2016, Lauren needed a boyfriend. That same night at the party, Typecast accepted the management’s proposal.

Typo tweeted “LMJ” on January 4, 2017, and then immediately deleted it. First move to create speculation since, presumably, Lauren ‘was’ still with Ludicrous. Shortly thereafter, a blind item about L who was having an affair with a married man came out. On January 10, 2017, Nicole Cartolano posted that picture of Laucy in the snow with a piñata. After wishing her a happy birthday, as we already know, luBYE. On February 13, 2017, there were the first PRren pictures at the Grammy after-party, so that people would start believing the blind item, BUT, making it clear that he wasn’t a married man, but a taken one, and yes, MAN, since Tyred is 14 years older than her, and therefore inculcating the idea that L was really cheating on Luggage. On March 9, 2017, Tymbal posted a picture of them together, coincidentally, the day after he advertised his upcoming album ‘Beach House 3’.

On March 22, 2017, we had ‘Bare With Me’ and Nicole Cartolano’s interview with MTV News. On the 23rd, we had, still very coincidentally and totally unplanned, “no I hate it because it’s invasive, scary, delusional, disrespectful to us both and was never real…Ever”, because, because, SHE DECIDES. NOT US. PERIOD. (sorry, I had to 😂. This is another of L’s tweets dating back to July 2, 2017: “I decide. Not you. Period.”) Joking apart, because she was single and she certainly couldn’t let the fans have hope for her and C, so she tried to kill the Camren ship for the umpteenth time. “Hey, hey, Lo, how’d it go? That bad, eh?” “Let me try again in 2020.” “Laur, babe, I’ll tell you what. I’m from the future, okay? It didn’t work, honey. And I don’t think it’s gonna work either in, I don’t know, in 2030.”

Back to the program.

The day before Nicole’s MTV article and eight days later, Twix posted a series of tweets (21: “Lo” - 30: “You look better on me 👀”, Cuban flag, and “I think she like me 😍”) [👈🏼 ‘Great grammar’ said in Lauren’s voice] which he then of course deleted to make everything more and more mysterious, and thus making people connect and figure out who was that ‘LMJ’ tweeted in January. On April 14, 2017, we had a picture of L with TyPod and his family dating back the night before when they celebrated Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’s birthday, followed by the blurred picture of the 15th of them together at Coachella. On April 18, 2017, Alycia Bella, Tinky Winky’s ex, tweeted “when you get cheated on w a 5th harmony member & all you can do is laugh.”, and then immediately deleted it, thus giving even more confirmation to people that both had cheated, despite Teletubbies denied and defended himself: “been moved on :) no cheating. Keep it Taylor’d. gang gang 🤘🏽🤘🏽”. The same Alycia who complained of being cheated on by Telly for ‘another girl’ during the reality show ‘The Platinum Life’ which aired on October 15, 2017 and that was recorded MONTHS BEFORE.

There were other tweets that Tyronic continued to tweet and then delete (April 1: “I think about you all the time” - April 3: “You my favorite” and “I don’t know what I did to deserve you” - April 7: “Really like what you’ve done to me”), Insta-stories and posts by both, and other public appearances together to increase the public’s curiosity. Such as: 1) Mani’s birthday. 2) August 16, 2017, when 5H did that famous and messy phone interview with The Sun for Dan Wooton’s podcast, one of Salmoned Cow’s well-known puppies friends, during which Dan asked Lauren about his relationship with Twinkly and she replied that they were just vibing. 3) Lauren’s birthday. 4) On September 11, 2017, Lauren posted pictures about the FentyxPuma party, and in one of those posts with pictures of her and Troglodyte, she put the caption with three hearts emojis, thus confirming to people that she and Tipsy were together.

February 2017 was the chosen month for Pukeren to ‘become’ official, confirmed by Typed in an interview at the Power 105.1 FM morning show The Breakfast Club on October 31, 2017, though, so a long time later and when the waters had already calmed down. By saying February, Tyring confirmed the cheatings exactly as it was planned. In another interview with BigBoyTV made on November 2, 2017, Typology showed the interviewees how even the background of his phone was a picture of Lauren. Picture that, by the way, Lauren herself posted 21 days before that by wearing Tijuana’s merchandise sweatshirt, so not even a personal picture that you’d normally expect to see from a real boyfriend.

Blah blah blah, Lauren never needed to defend a person so much in her life, blah blah blah, weed and booze and parties, blah blah blah, dogs (and fake allergies when convenient), blah blah blah, #Laurenthegroupie, blah blah blah, Tara and social media don’t get along very well, blah blah blah, #freepoorTweed ⛓️👮🏼 who was just having some fun with his friends, blah blah blah. We know the rest of the farce, and moving on to two years later, and therefore at the end of the PR, on April 15, 2019, Tic Tac tweeted a broken heart before zeroing his social media and Lauren a post on her social media, both implying the end of their oh so real ‘relationship’.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Let’s move on to competitor number two: Maturely Hushed Matthew Hussey, 06/19/1987. The scammer par excellence (since 2012). The salesman who pretends to be a life coach/dating advice expert by deluding poor women who fall into his bullshit. The charlatan who has an infinity of fraud charges and even a restraining order for stalking and harassment by a woman named Samantha C. of San Diego. [this woman continually talked about the situation on her Instagram account, cheating_matthewhussey. Even Chelsea Briggs liked a picture.]

Ewmila Mattmila: The skit was supposed to start a lot sooner in reality. They ‘met’ for the first time on September 29, 2017, on the set of NBC’s Today show (performance that C dedicated to the Dreamers), but nobody has heard much about it, right? There was only a single Billboard article that did that. Following that meeting, it was supposed to start in October 2017, when they also started to follow each other on IG, but everything was postponed because C’s album was postponed. The album was released on the 12th, and by pure coincidence, on January 11th, 2018, during the interview with Elvis Duran, and COMPLETELY OUT OF THE BLUE, C mentioned Matilda for the first time by saying she was a fan of his. The same Mattress (10 years older than her) who coincidentally was there that day, so a setup for the public to make believe that they’d met that day.

The next day, at the release of the album ‘Camila’, C performed at Good Morning America, and Macaque, again by pure coincidence, had a small slot in the same program. On January 15, 2018, during the interview with Zane Lowe, when he asked if she had someone special in her life at that time, she replied with “maybe”, which was a big yes when she read “I can’t say your name without smiling” just before from her phone notes. On January 22, 2018, on Zach Sang Show, C said that she’s a private person and that she doesn’t like the ‘public thing’ since the Austin fiasco. Another bullshit said to make the public believe that it was the truth and take advantage of the events that would happen shortly thereafter, since, literally 18 days later, on February 9, E! News exclusively posted the first Burpmila pictures on vacation on a beach in Cabo, Mexico.

Blah blah blah, we know, blah blah blah, they lived in airports to get papped, blah blah blah, they even paid fans to do it, blah blah blah, “He’s great”, blah blah blah, “She’s great”, blah blah blah, #They'reGREAT!, blah blah blah, let’s kiss in a children’s playground #Sinu #needyCamila #someonepleaseteachStMatteohowtoholdagirl #SofiwasdecidingwhethertoreturntotheSagradaFamiliaorgoontheswingratherthanwitnessthatugliness, blah blah blah, let’s get to the first oh so real oh so important obstacle in their story.

On August 12, 2019, a Dutch singer named Elieve did an interview in which she confessed that she and Camila were dating the same guy (Matchbox) at the same time. Elieve was in London from the beginning of January to the beginning of February 2018 and Matzo was in London from January 14 to 19, so they met on one of those days.

Blah blah blah, let’s pretend we’ve overcome this obstacle, blah blah blah, let’s pretend we’re a super happy couple, blah blah blah, Disneyworld, blah blah blah, let’s go skiing, blah blah blah, trip to Italy, blah blah blah, Shawn’s entry, blah bl- wait… Oh yeah, it’s the second PR’s turn. Goodbye Ew! ‘Thank you very much for nothing. Bye-bye!!’ said in Lauren’s voice. End of ‘story’ on May 11, 2019, that is, the last time they were photographed together, news confirmed on June 25, 2019, only 4 days after the release of Señorita.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Even if it wasn’t part of the request, this is a bonus of mine just because.

Señorita + Shitmila Showmila Shawmila: On January 27, 2018, Camila, Shaky, and Andrew, Shavable’s manager, were papped in a restaurant eating pizza before the Pre-Grammy Gala in New York City. That meeting took place to propose the idea of ​​the PR to C to help increase both Shallow’s music sales and his image. Camila was uncertain. 2017 had been a great year for her as a first time as a solo artist, and she knew that she would’ve to play her cards even better during 2018; plus, the PR with Matryoshka hadn’t even officially started and had already been postponed for a few months because the release of her album ‘Camila’ had been postponed.

Andrew explained to her that the PR with Chauffeur wasn’t going to be done right away at all, also because as C would have her PR relationship with EatchEW, Shanty would have that kind of PR relationship/not relationship with Hailey Baldwin (now Bieber) that only served to make people speculate and maintain the idea that Shazam wasn’t gay. Andrew also explained to her that their future PR relationship would benefit both of their careers because there would be a collaboration, a number 1 hit, which they would look for and use as a launchpad for the narrative. #friendswhothenfallinlove #RomeoandJulietbullshit

This perfect duet, went first to knock on Camila’s door, and then to Shuttle’s one in April 2018 in the form of Andrew Watt who already knew everything about the charade. Watt (he also worked on Havana and 7 songs for Romance including Señorita) co-wrote the song in April 2018, shortly before contacting Shitto, along with Jack Patterson, Ali Tamposi (she also worked on Havana, Consequences, and 6 songs for Romance including Señorita), and Charli XCX. [The same Charli who did an interview on October 21, 2019, in which she gave the true version of the story without even remotely mentioning Scab: “This Latin Pop flare just wasn’t right for who I am because I am not a part of that culture, I’m not from there. Whereas Camila has that in her blood, so when we wrote the song we thought about her and sent it to her.”]

Now that they had found the perfect song, and with the addition of Benny Blanco and Cashmere Cat in the production, all they had to do was convince Camila and her team. Charli XCX and C were the opening acts for Taylor Swift’s Reputation Tour from May 8 to October 6, 2018, during which Charli tried to persuade her to do the song by explaining how perfect it was for her. And who knows, maybe even since then they started working on it together since Camila, as she used to do, rewrote almost completely the lyrics to make it more her own. Ask that also to ‘Care About Me’ who turned into ‘The Boy’.

On August 4, still during the Reputation Tour, Shampoo went to the concert date in Toronto, and Taylor posted an Insta-story in which she put make-up and glitter on Shank’s eyelids. Sweaty regretted giving Taylor permission to post the video because people have always thought he was gay for years, and on November 26, 2018, the RollingStone interview was released in which he admitted that he felt the need to be photographed and seen with a girl to prove he isn’t gay. This was a great leverage they used with Camila since she could understand and help a friend in need. The work of persuasion lasted for about 9/10 months, from January 27, 2018, to the end of November/beginning of December 2018. Indeed, on December 5, 2018, both posted a picture taken on the 4th in the backstage of KISS 108’s Jingle Ball 2018 in Boston. Thanks to those pictures and C’s comment, word of their possible future collaboration began to spread. The plan was by then in place.

P.S. remember what happens to Romeo and Juliet, don’t you? Yeah. They die. And like Romeo and Juliet, they’re gonna (metaphorically speaking, of course) die too. Be patient, my babies, be patient.

🎉the🎊end🍾

I want comments now, guys. Which of these competitors you can’t stand the most and why, I’m curious. Put this 🐙 for Tissue, this 🐽 for Matte, and this 🐔 for Shrunken accompanied by the motivation. Let’s have some fun. 🥂

🖕🏼 this is mine for all of them, by the way.

As always, thanks, Mari. 🥰 Bye guys, I love you. Always with love, F. ❤️

[tswiftdaily]

In the 2010s, she went from country superstar to pop titan and broke records with chart-topping albums and blockbuster tours. Now Swift is using her industry clout to fight for artists’ rights and foster the musical community she wished she had coming up.

One evening in late-October, before she performed at a benefit concert at the Hollywood Bowl in Los Angeles, Taylor Swift’s dressing room became -- as it often does -- an impromptu summit of music’s biggest names. Swift was there to take part in the American Cancer Society’s annual We Can Survive concert alongside Billie Eilish, Lizzo, Camila Cabello and others, and a few of the artists on the lineup came by to visit.

Eilish, along with her mother and her brother/collaborator, Finneas O’Connell, popped in to say hello -- the first time she and Swift had met. Later, Swift joined the exclusive club of people who have seen Marshmello without his signature helmet when the EDM star and his manager stopped by.

“Two dudes walked in -- I didn’t know which one was him,” recalls Swift a few weeks later, sitting on a lounge chair in the backyard of a private Beverly Hills residence following a photo shoot. Her momentary confusion turned into a pang of envy. “It’s really smart! Because he’s got a life, and he can get a house that doesn’t have to have a paparazzi-proof entrance.” She stops to adjust her gray sweatshirt dress and lets out a clipped laugh.

Swift, who will celebrate her 30th birthday on Dec. 13, has been impossibly famous for nearly half of her lifetime. She was 16 when she released her self-titled debut album in 2006, and 20 when her second album, Fearless, won the Grammy Award for album of the year in 2010, making her the youngest artist to ever receive the honor. As the decade comes to a close, Swift is one of the most accomplished musical acts of all time: 37.3 million albums sold, according to Nielsen Music; 95 entries on the Billboard Hot 100 (including five No. 1s); 23 Billboard Music Awards; 12 Country Music Association Awards; 10 Grammys; and five world tours.

She also finishes the decade in a totally different realm of the music world from where she started. Swift’s crossover from country to pop -- hinted at on 2012’s Red and fully embraced on 2014’s 1989 -- reflected a mainstream era in which genres were blended with little abandon, where artists with roots in country, folk and trap music could join forces without anyone raising eyebrows. (See: Swift’s top 20 hit “End Game,” from 2017’s reputation, which featured Ed Sheeran and Future.)

Swift’s new album, Lover, released in August, is both a warm break from the darkness of reputation -- which was created during a wave of negative press generated by Swift’s public clash with Kanye West and Kim Kardashian-West -- as well as an amalgam of all her stylistic explorations through the years, from dreamy synth-pop to hushed country. “The skies were opening up in my life,” says Swift of the album, which garnered three Grammy nominations, including song of the year for the title track.

She recorded Lover after the Reputation Stadium Tour broke the record for the highest-grossing U.S. tour late last year. In 2020, Swift will embark on Lover Fest, a run of stadium dates that will feature a hand-picked lineup of artists (as yet unannounced) and allow Swift more time off from the road. “This is a year where I have to be there for my family -- there’s a lot of question marks throughout the next year, so I wanted to make sure that I could go home,” says Swift, likely referencing her mother’s cancer diagnosis, which inspired the Lover heart-wrencher “Soon You’ll Get Better.”

Now, however, Swift finds herself in a different highly publicized dispute. This time it’s with Scott Borchetta, the head of her former label, Big Machine Records, and Scooter Braun, the manager-mogul whose Ithaca Holdings acquired Big Machine Label Group and its master recordings, which include Swift’s six pre-Lover albums, in June. Upon news of the sale, Swift wrote in a Tumblr post that it was her “worst case scenario,” accusing Braun of “bullying” her throughout her career due to his connections with West. She maintains today that she was never given the opportunity to buy her masters outright. (On Tumblr, she wrote that she was offered the chance to “earn” back the masters to one of her albums for each new album she turned in if she re-signed with Big Machine; Borchetta disputed this characterization, saying she had the opportunity to acquire her masters in exchange for re-signing with the label for a “length of time” -- 10 more years, according to screenshots of legal documents posted on the Big Machine website.)

Swift has said that she intends to rerecord her first six albums next year -- starting next November, when she says she’s contractually able to -- in order to regain control of her recordings. But the back-and-forth appears to be nowhere near over: Last month, Swift alleged that Borchetta and Braun were blocking her from performing her past hits at the American Music Awards or using them in an upcoming Netflix documentary -- claims Big Machine characterized as “false information” in a response that did not get into specifics. (Swift ultimately performed the medley she had planned.) In the weeks following this interview, Braun said he was open to “all possibilities” in finding a “resolution,” and Billboard sources say that includes negotiating a sale. Swift remains interested in buying her masters, though the price could be a sticking point, given her rerecording plans, the control she has over the licensing of her music for film and TV, and the market growth since Braun’s acquisition.

However it plays out, the battle over her masters is the latest in a series of moves that has turned Swift into something of an advocate for artists’ rights -- and made her a cause that everyone from Halsey to Elizabeth Warren has rallied behind. From 2014 to 2017, Swift withheld her catalog from Spotify to protest the streaming company’s compensation rates, saying in a 2014 interview, “There should be an inherent value placed on art. I didn’t see that happening, perception-wise, when I put my music on Spotify.” In 2015, ahead of the launch of Apple Music, Swift wrote an open letter criticizing Apple for its plan to not pay royalties during the three-month free trial it was set to offer listeners; the company announced a new policy within 24 hours. Most recently, when she signed a new global deal with Universal Music Group in 2018, Swift (who is now on Republic Records) said one of the conditions of her contract was that UMG share proceeds from any sale of its Spotify equity with its roster of artists -- and make them nonrecoupable against those artists’ earnings.

During a wide-ranging conversation, Billboard’s Woman of the Decade expresses hope that she can help make the lives of creators a little easier in the years to come -- and a belief that her behind-the-scenes strides will be as integral to her legacy as her biggest singles. “New artists and producers and writers need work, and they need to be likable and get booked in sessions, and they can’t make noise -- but if I can, then I’m going to,” promises Swift. This is where being impossibly famous can be a very good thing. “I know that it seems like I’m very loud about this,” she says, “but it’s because someone has to be.”

While watching some of your performances this year -- like Saturday Night Live and NPR’s Tiny Desk Concert -- I was struck by how focused you seemed, like there were no distractions getting in the way of what you were trying to say.

That’s a really wonderful way of looking at this phase of my life and my music. I’ve spent a lot of time recalibrating my life to make it feel manageable. Because there were some years there where I felt like I didn’t quite know what exactly to give people and what to hold back, what to share and what to protect. I think a lot of people go through that, especially in the last decade. I broke through pre-social media, and then there was this phase where social media felt fun and casual and quirky and safe. And then it got to the point where everyone has to evaluate their relationship with social media. So I decided that the best thing I have to offer people is my music. I’m not really here to influence their fashion or their social lives. That has bled through into the live part of what I do.

Meanwhile, you’ve found a way to interact with your fans in this very pure way -- on your Tumblr page.

Tumblr is the last place on the internet where I feel like I can still make a joke because it feels small, like a neighborhood rather than an entire continent. We can kid around -- they literally drag me. It’s fun. That’s a real comfort zone for me. And just like anything else, I need breaks from it sometimes. But when I do participate in that space, it’s always in a very inside-joke, friend vibe. Sometimes, when I open Twitter, I get so overwhelmed that I just immediately close it. I haven’t had Twitter on my phone in a while because I don’t like to have too much news. Like, I follow politics, and that’s it. But I don’t like to follow who has broken up with who, or who wore an interesting pair of shoes. There’s only so much bandwidth my brain can really have.

You’ve spoken in recent interviews about the general expectations you’ve faced, using phrases like “They’ve wanted to see this” and “They hated me for this.” Who is “they”? Is it social media or disparaging think pieces or --

It’s sort of an amalgamation of all of it. People who aren’t active fans of your music, who like one song but love to hear who has been canceled on Twitter. I’ve had several upheavals of somehow not being what I should be. And this happens to women in music way more than men. That’s why I get so many phone calls from new artists out of the blue -- like, “Hey, I’m getting my first wave of bad press, I’m freaking out, can I talk to you?” And the answer is always yes! I’m talking about more than 20 people who have randomly reached out to me. I take it as a compliment because it means that they see what has happened over the course of my career, over and over again.

Did you have someone like that to reach out to?

Not really, because my career has existed in lots of different neighborhoods of music. I had so many mentors in country music. Faith Hill was wonderful. She would reach out to me and invite me over and take me on tour, and I knew that I could talk to her. Crossing over to pop is a completely different world. Country music is a real community, and in pop I didn’t see that community as much. Now there is a bit of one between the girls in pop -- we all have each other’s numbers and text each other -- but when I first started out in pop it was very much you versus you versus you. We didn’t have a network, which is weird because we can help each other through these moments when you just feel completely isolated.

Do you feel like those barriers are actively being broken down now?

God, I hope so. I also hope people can call it out, [like] if you see a Grammy prediction article, and it’s just two women’s faces next to each other and feels a bit gratuitous. No one’s going to start out being perfectly educated on the intricacies of gender politics. The key is that people are trying to learn, and that’s great. No one’s going to get it perfect, but, God, please try.

At this point, who is your sounding board, creatively and professionally?

From a creative standpoint, I’ve been writing alone a lot more. I’m good with being alone, with thinking alone. When I come up with a marketing idea for the Lover tour, the album launch, the merch, I’ll go right to my management company that I’ve put together. I think a team is the best way to be managed. Just from my experience, I don’t think that this overarching, one-person-handles-my-career thing was ever going to work for me. Because that person ends up kind of being me who comes up with most of the ideas, and then I have an amazing team that facilitates those ideas.

The behind-the-scenes work is different for every phase of my career that I’m in. Putting together the festival shows that we’re doing for Lover is completely different than putting together the Reputation Stadium Tour. Putting together the reputation launch was so different than putting together the 1989 launch. So we really do attack things case by case, where the creative first informs everything else.

You’ve spoken before about how meaningful the reputation tour’s success was. What did it represent?

That tour was something that I wanted to immortalize in the Netflix special that we did because the album was a story, but it almost was like a story that wasn’t fully realized until you saw it live. It was so cool to hear people leaving the show being like, “I understand it now. I fully get it now.” There are a lot of red herrings and bait-and-switches in the choices that I’ll make with albums, because I want people to go and explore the body of work. You can never express how you feel over the course of an album in a single, so why try?

That seems especially true of your last three albums or so.

“Shake It Off” is nothing like the rest of 1989. It’s almost like I feel so much pressure with a first single that I don’t want the first single to be something that makes you feel like you’ve figured out what I’ve made on the rest of the project. I still truly believe in albums, whatever form you consume them in -- if you want to stream them or buy them or listen to them on vinyl. And I don’t think that makes me a staunch purist. I think that that is a strong feeling throughout the music industry. We’re running really fast toward a singles industry, but you got to believe in something. I still believe that albums are important.

The music industry has become increasingly global during the past decade. Is reaching new markets something you think about?

Yeah, and I’m always trying to learn. I’m learning from everyone. I’m learning when I go see Bruce Springsteen or Madonna do a theater show. And I’m learning from new artists who are coming out right now, just seeing what they’re doing and thinking, “That’s really cool.” You need to keep your influences broad and wide-ranging, and my favorite people who make music have always done that. I got to work with Andrew Lloyd Webber on the Cats movie, and Andrew will walk through the door and be like, “I’ve just seen this amazing thing on TikTok!” And I’m like, “You are it! You are it!” Because you cannot look at what quote-unquote “the kids are doing” and roll your eyes. You have to learn.

Have you explored TikTok at all?

I only see them when they’re posted to Tumblr, but I love them! I think that they’re hilarious and amazing. Andrew says that they’ve made musicals cool again, because there’s a huge musical facet to TikTok. [He’s] like, “Any way we can do that is good.”

How do you see your involvement in the business side of your career progressing in the next decade? You seem like someone who could eventually start a label or be more hands-on with signing artists.

I do think about it every once in a while, but if I was going to do it, I would need to do it with all of my energy. I know how important that is, when you’ve got someone else’s career in your hands, and I know how it feels when someone isn’t generous.

You’ve served as an ambassador of sorts for artists, especially recently -- staring down streaming services over payouts, increasing public awareness about the terms of record deals.

We have a long way to go. I think that we’re working off of an antiquated contractual system. We’re galloping toward a new industry but not thinking about recalibrating financial structures and compensation rates, taking care of producers and writers.

We need to think about how we handle master recordings, because this isn’t it. When I stood up and talked about this, I saw a lot of fans saying, “Wait, the creators of this work do not own their work, ever?” I spent 10 years of my life trying rigorously to purchase my masters outright and was then denied that opportunity, and I just don’t want that to happen to another artist if I can help it. I want to at least raise my hand and say, “This is something that an artist should be able to earn back over the course of their deal -- not as a renegotiation ploy -- and something that artists should maybe have the first right of refusal to buy.” God, I would have paid so much for them! Anything to own my work that was an actual sale option, but it wasn’t given to me.

Thankfully, there’s power in writing your music. Every week, we get a dozen synch requests to use “Shake It Off” in some advertisement or “Blank Space” in some movie trailer, and we say no to every single one of them. And the reason I’m rerecording my music next year is because I do want my music to live on. I do want it to be in movies, I do want it to be in commercials. But I only want that if I own it.

Do you know how long that rerecording process will take?

I don’t know! But it’s going to be fun, because it’ll feel like regaining a freedom and taking back what’s mine. When I created [these songs], I didn’t know what they would grow up to be. Going back in and knowing that it meant something to people is actually a really beautiful way to celebrate what the fans have done for my music.

Ten years ago, on the brink of the 2010s, you were about to turn 20. What advice would you give yourself if you could go back in time?

Oh, God -- I wouldn’t give myself any advice. I would have done everything exactly the same way. Because even the really tough things I’ve gone through taught me things that I never would have learned any other way. I really appreciate my experience, the ups and downs. And maybe that seems ridiculously Zen, but … I’ve got my friends, who like me for the right reasons. I’ve got my family. I’ve got my boyfriend. I’ve got my fans. I’ve got my cats.

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Mon 27 Jan

All the Walls lyrics are up! Pre-ordered albums reached some people early and a fan posted pics of the lyric sheet and you guys... you guys! It is all so unbearably tender and open and lovely and the whole damn thing will be out so soon, so FINE, today's news today and Walls soon enough: Louis posted an IGTV from the London listening party, added two UK acoustic show and signings (Feb 10 & 12), Sirius announced a spot with him Thurs in NY, his first big album review is out, NME, it's not fawning but it's respectful and interested, and interview material is pouring in. Louis says Habit is about music and "the fans," (2028 1D reunion interviews: yeah actually Steal My Girl was written about the fans!) and "Too Young is about meeting ‘the one’ aged 18," (going on to confirm that he definitely means he was 18), LOL- he was nearly 20 when him and Eleanor got together but as it happens I do buy that he met the one at 18... Between this and the leaked lyrics, well there's a lot of stuff that's just not about E and it ain't just timelines but as Louis well knows, everyone's still gonna believe what they already do so why not sing his heart? Love that. (Meanwhile antis: Hannah is the one! LMAO you think I'm joking I could not make that up I am simply not galaxy brained enough for that kind of incredible creativity and I bow down. Their minds!)

Niall and Lewis made a delightful spectacle of themselves at the Grammys after-party, standing right up on a table with Shawn and Camila and making fun of their PDA by also kissing on the table, singing at the top of their lungs and being goofs while the whole party gathered round to take video of them showing off, whatta bunch of divas, then ending up back at Niall's eventually. It looks like the most fun and I love that for them; Niall's bro gang (today ft Shawn) look like they're dying in the pic on Niall's big sofa today though aww, but then Niall hooked up a big meal for the hungover masses, double awww. They deserve a little pain anyway, imagine going straight from the Grammys to then participate in a Best Song Ever sing-along that bad they should be ashamed (Niall- so I'm just gonna sit this one out... even drunk Niall is clever like that.) The SMG serenade from just Lewis, Shawn, and Camila was slightly- slightly!- better but given their jobs not so much as you'd think.

The Flames video is finally coming, this Thursday and it looks SO GOOD OMFG! It's gonna be COOL AF you guys, can't wait. This week has seen a few fan pics of Zayn from a little while back post, which somehow always happens right before he announces something. I seriously want to know how they coordinate that like is Zayn's PA staying in touch with these people like okay annnd....now! Pull the trigger! Anyway and then today we got the announcement and teaser clip and it's gonna be so cool! Yesss. That's gonna be a busy day....

Another Australian radio spot with Liam announced for this week- will he be down under in person or he is just lining up a lot of long distance call-ins?

Harry was announced for the lineup of the Radio One Big Weekend in late May. He was quoted saying something incredibly bland and fake about how excited he was and I was going to make a joke about how he obviously didn't say it (and how it was exactly the same format as the quote he obviously didn't say about the Miami show) but I was beaten to it by a Guardian journalist! Then everyone got mad at that guy and then Greg James defended him and Nick Grimshaw made fun of the fans and now everyone is mad at them so wow never mind! You're very right Harry definitely is a boring PR bot SO SORRY for thinking otherwise! What a thing to get mad about huh some people are wild.

[96harmony96]

Chapter 14

The next morning dawned with an odd surreality. I made it to work, and then through most of my pre launch day in a kind of chilly fog. I couldn’t get warm enough, despite wearing a cardigan over my blouse and a scarf that didn’t match either one. It took me a few minutes longer to process requests than it should have, and I couldn’t shake a feeling of dread.

Lauren made no contact with me whatsoever.

Nothing on my smartphone or e-mail after my text last night. Nothing in my email inbox. No interoffice note.

The silence was excruciating. Especially when the day’s Google alert hit my inbox and I saw the photos and phone videos of me and Lauren in Bryant Park. Seeing how we looked together—the passion and need, the painful longing on our faces, and the gratefulness of reconciliation—was bittersweet.

Pain twisted in my chest. Lauren.

If we couldn’t work this out, would I ever stop thinking about her and wishing we had?

I struggled to pull myself together. Mark was meeting with Lauren today. Maybe that’s why Lauren hadn’t felt pressed to contact me. Or maybe she was just really busy. I knew she had to be, considering her business calendar. And as far as I knew, we still had plans to go to the gym after work. I exhaled in a rush and told myself that things would straighten out somehow. They just had to.

It was quarter to noon when my desk phone rang. Seeing from the readout that the call was coming from reception, I sighed with disappointment and answered.

“Hey, Camila,” Megumi said cheerily. “You have a Magdalene Perez here to see you.”

“Do I?” I stared at my monitor, confused and irritated. Had the Bryant Park photos lured Magdalene out from under whatever troll bridge she called home?

Regardless of the reason, I had no interest in talking to her. “Keep her up there for me, will you? I have to take care of something first.”

“Sure. I’ll tell her to have a seat.”

I hung up, then pulled out my smartphone and scrolled through the contact list until I found the number to Lauren’s office. I dialed and was relieved when Scott answered.

“Hey, Scott. Camila Cabello.”

“Hi, Camila. Would you like to speak to miss. Jauregui? she’s in a meeting at the moment, but I can buzz her.”

“No. No, don’t bother her.”

“It’s a standing order. she won’t mind.”

It soothed me immensely to hear that. “I hate to throw this in your lap, but I have a request for you.”

“Anything you need. That’s also a standing order.” The amusement in his voice relaxed me further.

“Magdalene Perez is down here on the twentieth floor. Frankly, the only thing she and I have in common is Lauren, and that’s not a good thing. If she has something to say, it’s your boss she should be talking to. Could you please have someone escort her up?”

“Absolutely. I’ll take care of it now.”

“Thanks, Scott. I appreciate you.”

“It’s my pleasure, Camila.”

I hung up the phone and sagged back in my seat, feeling better already and proud of myself for not letting jealousy get the better of me. While I still really hated the idea of her having any of Lauren’s time, I hadn’t lied when I’d said I trusted her. I believed she had strong, deep feelings for me. I just didn’t know if they were enough to override her survival instinct.

Megumi called me again.

“Oh my God,” she said, laughing. “You should’ve seen her face when whoever that was came to get her.”

“Good.” I grinned. “I figured she was up to no good. Is she gone, then?”

“Yep.”

“Thanks.” I crossed the narrow strip of hallway to Mark’s door and poked my head in to see if he wanted me to pick him up some lunch.

He frowned, thinking about it. “No, thanks. I’ll be too nervous to eat until after the presentation with Jauregui. By then whatever you pick up will be hours old.”

“How about a protein smoothie, then? It’ll give you some easy fuel until you can eat.”

“That’d be great.” His smile lit up his dark eyes. “Something that goes good with vodka, just to get me in the mood.”

“Anything you don’t like? Any allergies?”

“Nada.”

“Okay. See you in an hour.” I knew just the place to go. The deli I had in mind was a couple blocks up and offered smoothies, salads, and a variety of made-to-order paninis with quick service.

I headed downstairs and tried not to think about Lauren’s radio silence. I’d kind of expected to hear something after the Magdalene incident. Getting no reaction had me worrying all over again. I pushed out to the street through the revolving door and scarcely paid any attention to the man who climbed out of the back of a town car at the curb until he called my name.

Turning, I found myself facing Christopher Vidal.

“Oh…Hi,” I greeted him. “How are you?”

“Better, now that I’ve seen you. You look fantastic.”

“Thanks. I can say the same to you.”

As different as he was from Lauren, he was gorgeous in his own way with his mahogany waves, grayish-green eyes, and charming smile. He was dressed in loose-fitting jeans and a cream V-neck sweater, a very sexy look for him.

“Are you here to see your sister?” I asked.

“Yes, and you.”

“Me?”

“Heading to lunch? I’ll join you and explain.”

I was briefly reminded of Lauren’s warning to stay away from Christopher, but by now I figured she trusted me. Especially with her brother.

“I’m going to a deli up the street,” I said. “If you’re game.”

“Absolutely.”

We started walking.

“What did you want to see me about?” I asked, too curious to wait.

He reached into one of two large cargo pockets of his jeans and pulled out a formal invitation in a vellum envelope. “I came to invite you to a garden party we’re having at my parents’ estate on Sunday. A mix of business and pleasure. Many of the artists signed to Vidal Records will be there. I was thinking it’d be great networking for your roommate—he’s got the right look for music video.”

I brightened. “That would be wonderful!”

Christopher grinned and passed the invite over. “And you’ll both have fun. No one throws a party like my mother.”

I glanced briefly at the envelope in my hand. Why hadn’t Lauren said anything about the event?

“If you’re wondering why Lauren didn’t tell you about it,” he said, seemingly reading my mind, “it’s because she won’t come. she never does. Even though she’s the majority shareholder in the company, I think she finds the music industry and musicians too unpredictable for his tastes. By now, you know how she is.”

Dark and intense. Powerfully magnetic and hotly sexual. Yes, I knew how she was. And she preferred to know what she was getting into at all costs.

I gestured at the deli when we reached it, and we stepped inside and got in line.

“This place smells awesome,” Christopher said, his gaze on his phone as he typed out a quick text.

“The aroma delivers on its promise, trust me.”

He smiled a delightful boyish smile that I was sure knocked most women on their asses. “My parents are really looking forward to meeting you, Camila.”

“Oh?”

“Seeing the photos of you and Lauren over the last week has been a real surprise. A good surprise,” he qualified quickly when I winced. “It’s the first time we’ve seen her really into someone she’s dating.”

I sighed, thinking she wasn’t so into me right now. Had I made a terrible mistake by leaving her alone last night?

When we reached the counter, I ordered a grilled vegetable and cheese panini with two pomegranate smoothies, asking them to hold the one with a protein shot for thirty minutes so I could eat in. Christopher ordered the same, and we managed to find a table in the crowded deli.

We talked about work, laughing over both a recent baby food commercial faux-blooper that had gone viral and some backstage anecdotes about acts Christopher had worked with. The time passed swiftly, and when we parted ways at the entrance of the Crossfire, I said good-bye with genuine affection.

I headed up to the twentieth floor, and found Mark still at his desk. He offered me a quick smile despite his air of concentration.

“If you don’t really need me,” I said, “I think it’d be good for me to sit this presentation out.”

Although he tried to hide it, I saw the lightning quick flash of relief. It didn’t offend me. Stress was stress, and my volatile relationship with Lauren was something Mark didn’t need to think about while he was working on an important account.

“You’re golden, Camila. You know that?”

I smiled and set the drink carrier down in front of him. “Drink your smoothie. It’s really good, and the protein will keep you from feeling too hungry for a little bit longer. I’ll be at my desk if you need me.”

Before I put my purse in the drawer, I texted Cary to ask if he had plans on Sunday or if he’d like to go to a Vidal Records party. Then I got back to work. I’d started organizing Mark’s files on the server, tagging them and placing them in directories to make it easier for us to assemble portfolios on the fly.

When Mark left for the meeting with Lauren, my heartbeat quickened and a clutch of anticipation tightened my stomach. I couldn’t believe my excitement just from knowing what Lauren was doing at that particular moment, and that she’d have to think of me when she saw Mark. I hoped I’d hear from her after that. My mood picked up at the thought.

For the next hour, I was restless waiting to hear how things had gone. When Mark reappeared with a big grin and a spring in his step, I stood up in my cubicle and applauded him.

He took a gallant, exaggerated bow. “Thank you, Miss Camila.”

“I’m so stoked for you!”

“Jauregui asked me to give you this.” He handed me a sealed manila envelope. “Come to my office and I’ll give you all the deets.”

The envelope had weight and rattled. I knew from touch what I’d find inside before I opened it, but still the sight of my keys sliding out and into my palm hit me hard. Gasping with a pain more intense than any I could remember, I read the accompanying note card.

Thank you, Camila. For everything.

Yours, G

A Dear Jane brush-off. It had to be. Otherwise, she would’ve given me the keys after work on the way to the gym.

There was a dull roaring in my ears. I felt dizzy. Disoriented. I was frightened and agonized. Furious.

I was also at work.

Closing my eyes and clenching my fists, I pulled myself together and fought off the driving urge to go upstairs and call Lauren a coward. she probably saw me as a threat, someone who’d come in, unwanted and uninvited, and shook up her orderly world. Someone who’d demanded more from her than just his hot body and hefty bank account.

I shut my emotions behind a glass wall where I was aware of them waiting in the background, but I was able to get through the rest of my workday. By the time I clocked out and headed downstairs, I still hadn’t heard from Lauren. I was such an emotional disaster at that point I felt only a single, sharp twinge of despair as I exited the Crossfire.

I made it to the gym. I shut my brain off and ran full-bore on the treadmill, fleeing the anguish that would hit me soon enough. I ran until sweat coursed in rivulets down my face and body, and rubber legs forced me to stop.

Feeling battered and exhausted, I hit the showers. Then I called my mother and asked her to send Clancy to the gym to pick me up for our appointment with Dr. Petersen. As I put my work clothes back on, I mustered the energy to get through that last task before I could go home and collapse on my bed.

I waited for the town car at the curb, feeling separate and apart from the city teeming around me. When Clancy pulled up and hopped out to open the back door for me, I was startled to see my mom already inside. It was early yet. I’d expected to be driven solo to the apartment she shared with Stanton and wait on her twenty minutes or so. That was our usual routine.

“Hey, Mom,” I said wearily, settling on the seat beside her.

“How could you, Camila?” She was crying into a monogrammed handkerchief, her face beautiful even while reddened and wet with tears. “Why?”

Jolted out of my torment by her misery, I frowned and asked, “What did I do now?”

The new cell phone, if she’d somehow found about it, wouldn’t trigger this much drama. And it was too soon after the fact for her to know about my breakup with Lauren.

“You told Lauren Jauregui about…what happened to you.” Her lower lip trembled with distress.

My head jerked back in shock. How could she know that? My God…Had she bugged my new place? My purse…? “What?”

“Don’t act clueless!”

“How do you know I told her?” My voice was a pained whisper. “We just talked last night.”

“she went to see Richard about it today.”

I tried to picture Stanton’s face during that conversation. I couldn’t imagine my stepfather taking it well. “Why would she do that?”

“she wanted to know what’s been done to prevent information leaks. And she wanted to know where Nathan is—” She sobbed. “she wanted to know everything.”

My breath hissed out between my teeth. I wasn’t sure what Lauren’s motivation was, but the possibility that she’d dumped me over Nathan and was now making sure that she was safe from scandal hurt worse than anything. I twisted in pain, my spine arching away from the seatback. I’d thought it was her past that drove a wedge between us, but it made more sense that it was mine.

For once I was grateful for my mother’s self-absorption, which kept her from seeing how devastated I was.

“she had a right to know,” I managed in a voice so raw it sounded nothing like my own. “And she has a right to try and protect himself from any blowback.”

“You’ve never told any of your other boyfriends.”

“I’ve never dated anyone who makes national headlines by sneezing, either.” I stared out the car window at the traffic that boxed us in. “Lauren Jauregui and Cross Industries are global news, Mother. she’s light-years away from the guys I dated in college.”

She spoke more, but I didn’t hear her. I shut down for self-protection, cutting off the reality that was suddenly too painful to be endured.

Dr. Petersen’s office was exactly as I remembered. Decorated in soothing neutrals, it was both professional and comfortable. Dr. Petersen was the same—a handsome man with gray hair and gentle, intelligent blue eyes.

He welcomed us into his office with a wide smile, commenting on how lovely my mother looked and how like her I was. He said he was happy to see me again and that I looked well, but I could tell he spoke for my mother’s benefit. He was too trained an observer to miss the raging emotions I suppressed.

“So,” he began, settling into his chair across from the sofa my mother and I sat on. “What brings you both in today?”

I told him about the way my mom had been tracking my movements via my cell phone signal and how violated I felt. Mom told him about my interest in Krav Maga and how she took it as a sign that I wasn’t feeling safe. I told him about how they’d pretty much taken over Parker’s studio, which made me feel suffocated and claustrophobic. She told him I’d betrayed her trust by divulging deeply personal matters to strangers, which made her feel naked and painfully exposed.

Through it all, Dr. Petersen listened attentively, took notes and spoke rarely, until we’d purged everything.

Once we’d quieted, he asked, “Sinuhe, why didn’t you tell me about tracking Camila’s cell phone?”

The angle of her chin altered, a familiar defensive posture. “I didn’t see anything wrong with it. Many parents track their children through their cell phones.”

“Underage children,” I shot back. “I’m an adult. My personal time is exactly that.”

“If you were to envision yourself in her place, Sinuhe,” Dr. Petersen interjected, “would it be possible that you might feel as she does? What if you discovered someone was monitoring your movements without your knowledge or permission?”

“Not if the someone was my mother and I knew it gave her peace of mind,” she argued.

“And have you considered how your actions affect Camila’s peace of mind?” he queried gently. “Your need to protect her is understandable, but you should discuss the steps you wish to take openly with her. It’s important to gain her input—and expect cooperation only when she chooses to give it. You have to honor her prerogative to set limits that may not be as broad as you’d like them to be.”

My mother sputtered indignantly.

“Camila needs her boundaries, Sinuhe,” he continued, “and a sense of control over her own life. Those things were taken from her for a long time and we have to respect her right to establish them now in the manner that best suits her.”

“Oh.” My mother twisted her handkerchief around her fingers. “I hadn’t thought of it that way.”

I reached out for my mother’s hand when her lower lip trembled violently. “Nothing could’ve stopped me from talking to Lauren about my past. But I could have forewarned you. I’m sorry I didn’t think of it.”

“You’re much stronger than I ever was,” my mother said, “but I can’t help worrying.”

“My suggestion,” Dr. Petersen said, “would be for you to take some time, Sinuhe, and really think about what sorts of events and situations cause you anxiety. Then write them down.”

My mother nodded.

“When you have what will surely not be an exhaustive list but a strong start,” he went on, “you can sit down with Camila and discuss strategies for addressing those concerns—strategies you can both live with comfortably. For example, if not hearing from Camila for a few days troubles you, perhaps a text message or an e-mail will alleviate that.”

“Okay.”

“If you like, we can go over the list together.”

The back-and-forth between the two made me want to scream. It was insult to injury. I hadn’t expected Dr. Petersen to smack some sense into my mom, but I’d hoped he would at least take a harder line—God knew someone needed to, someone whose authority she respected.

When the hour ended and we were on our way out, I asked my mom to wait a moment so I could ask Dr. Petersen one last personal and private question.

“Yes, Camila?” He stood in front of me, looking infinitely patient and wise.

“I just wondered…” I paused, needing to swallow past a lump in my throat. “Is it possible for two abuse survivors to have a functional romantic relationship?”

“Absolutely.” His immediate, unequivocal answer forced the trapped air from my lungs.

I shook his hand. “Thank you.”

When I got home, I unlocked my door with the keys Lauren had returned to me and I went straight to my room, offering a lame wave to Cary, who was practicing yoga in the living room to a DVD.

I stripped off my clothes as I crossed the distance from my closed bedroom door to the bed, finally crawling between the cool sheets in just my underwear. I hugged a pillow and closed my eyes, so tired and drained I had nothing left.

The door opened at my back and a moment later Cary sat beside me.

He brushed my hair back from my tear-streaked face. “What’s the matter, baby girl?”

“I got kicked to the curb today. Courtesy of a fucking note card.”

He sighed. “You know the drill, Camila. she’s going to keep pushing you away, because she’s expecting you to fail her like everyone else has.”

“And I keep proving her right.” I recognized myself in the description Cary had just given. I ran when the going got tough, because I was so sure it was all going to end badly. The only control I had was to be the one who left, instead of the one who was left behind.

“Because you’re fighting to protect your own recovery.” He lay down and spooned against my back, wrapping one leanly muscular arm around me and tucking me tight against him.

I snuggled into the physical affection I hadn’t realized I needed. “she might’ve dumped me because of my past, not her.”

“If that’s true, it’s good it’s over. But I think you two will find each other eventually. At least I’m hoping you will.” His sigh was soft on my neck. “I want there to be happily-ever-afters for the fucked-up crowd. Show me the way, Camila honey. Make me believe.”

[path-of-my-childhood]

Billboard Woman of the Decade Taylor Swift: 'I Do Want My Music to Live On'

By: Jason Lipshutz for Billboard Magazine Date: December 14th issue

In the 2010s, she went from country superstar to pop titan and broke records with chart-topping albums and blockbuster tours. Now Swift is using her industry clout to fight for artists’ rights and foster the musical community she wished she had coming up.

One evening in late October, before she performed at a benefit concert at the Hollywood Bowl in Los Angeles, Taylor Swift’s dressing room became - as it often does - an impromptu summit of music’s biggest names. Swift was there to take part in the American Cancer Society’s annual We Can Survive concert alongside Billie Eilish, Lizzo, Camila Cabello and others, and a few of the artists on the lineup came by to visit.

Eilish, along with her mother and her brother/collaborator, Finneas O’Connell, popped in to say hello - the first time she and Swift had met. Later, Swift joined the exclusive club of people who have seen Marshmello without his signature helmet when the EDM star and his manager stopped by.

“Two dudes walked in - I didn’t know which one was him,” recalls Swift a few weeks later, sitting on a lounge chair in the backyard of a private Beverly Hills residence following a photo shoot. Her momentary confusion turned into a pang of envy. “It’s really smart! Because he’s got a life, and he can get a house that doesn’t have to have a paparazzi-proof entrance.” She stops to adjust her gray sweatshirt dress and lets out a clipped laugh.

Swift, who will celebrate her 30th birthday on Dec. 13, has been impossibly famous for nearly half of her lifetime. She was 16 when she released her self-titled debut album in 2006, and 20 when her second album, Fearless, won the Grammy Award for album of the year in 2010, making her the youngest artist to ever receive the honor. As the decade comes to a close, Swift is one of the most accomplished musical acts of all time: 37.3 million albums sold, according to Nielsen Music; 95 entries on the Billboard Hot 100 (including five No. 1s); 23 Billboard Music Awards; 12 Country Music Association Awards; 10 Grammys; and five world tours.

She also finishes the decade in a totally different realm of the music world from where she started. Swift’s crossover from country to pop - hinted at on 2012’s Red and fully embraced on 2014’s 1989 - reflected a mainstream era in which genres were blended with little abandon, where artists with roots in country, folk and trap music could join forces without anyone raising eyebrows. (See: Swift’s top 20 hit “End Game,” from 2017’s reputation, which featured Ed Sheeran and Future.)

Swift’s new album, Lover, released in August, is both a warm break from the darkness of reputation - which was created during a wave of negative press generated by Swift’s public clash with Kanye West and Kim Kardashian-West - as well as an amalgam of all her stylistic explorations through the years, from dreamy synth-pop to hushed country. “The skies were opening up in my life,” says Swift of the album, which garnered three Grammy nominations, including song of the year for the title track.

She recorded Lover after the Reputation Stadium Tour broke the record for the highest-grossing U.S. tour late last year. In 2020, Swift will embark on Lover Fest, a run of stadium dates that will feature a hand-picked lineup of artists (as yet unannounced) and allow Swift more time off from the road. “This is a year where I have to be there for my family - there’s a lot of question marks throughout the next year, so I wanted to make sure that I could go home,” says Swift, likely referencing her mother’s cancer diagnosis, which inspired the Lover heart-wrencher “Soon You’ll Get Better.”

Now, however, Swift finds herself in a different highly publicized dispute. This time it’s with Scott Borchetta, the head of her former label, Big Machine Records, and Scooter Braun, the manager-mogul whose Ithaca Holdings acquired Big Machine Label Group and its master recordings, which include Swift’s six pre-Lover albums, in June. Upon news of the sale, Swift wrote in a Tumblr post that it was her “worst case scenario,” accusing Braun of “bullying” her throughout her career due to his connections with West. She maintains today that she was never given the opportunity to buy her masters outright. (On Tumblr, she wrote that she was offered the chance to “earn” back the masters to one of her albums for each new album she turned in if she re-signed with Big Machine; Borchetta disputed this characterization, saying she had the opportunity to acquire her masters in exchange for re-signing with the label for a “length of time” - 10 more years, according to screenshots of legal documents posted on the Big Machine website.)

Swift has said that she intends to rerecord her first six albums next year, starting next November, when she says she’s contractually able to - in order to regain control of her recordings. But the back-and-forth appears to be nowhere near over: Last month, Swift alleged that Borchetta and Braun were blocking her from performing her past hits at the American Music Awards or using them in an upcoming Netflix documentary - claims Big Machine characterized as “false information” in a response that did not get into specifics. (Swift ultimately performed the medley she had planned.) In the weeks following this interview, Braun said he was open to “all possibilities” in finding a “resolution,” and Billboard sources say that includes negotiating a sale. Swift remains interested in buying her masters, though the price could be a sticking point, given her rerecording plans, the control she has over the licensing of her music for film and TV, and the market growth since Braun’s acquisition.

However it plays out, the battle over her masters is the latest in a series of moves that has turned Swift into something of an advocate for artists’ rights, and made her a cause that everyone from Halsey to Elizabeth Warren has rallied behind. From 2014 to 2017, Swift withheld her catalog from Spotify to protest the streaming company’s compensation rates, saying in a 2014 interview, “There should be an inherent value placed on art. I didn’t see that happening, perception-wise, when I put my music on Spotify.” In 2015, ahead of the launch of Apple Music, Swift wrote an open letter criticizing Apple for its plan to not pay royalties during the three-month free trial it was set to offer listeners; the company announced a new policy within 24 hours. Most recently, when she signed a new global deal with Universal Music Group in 2018, Swift (who is now on Republic Records) said one of the conditions of her contract was that UMG share proceeds from any sale of its Spotify equity with its roster of artists - and make them non-recoupable against those artists’ earnings.

During a wide-ranging conversation, Billboard’s Woman of the Decade expresses hope that she can help make the lives of creators a little easier in the years to come - and a belief that her behind-the-scenes strides will be as integral to her legacy as her biggest singles. “New artists and producers and writers need work, and they need to be likable and get booked in sessions, and they can’t make noise - but if I can, then I’m going to,” promises Swift. This is where being impossibly famous can be a very good thing. “I know that it seems like I’m very loud about this,” she says, “but it’s because someone has to be.”

While watching some of your performances this year - like SNL and NPR’s Tiny Desk Concert - I was struck by how focused you seemed, like there were no distractions getting in the way of what you were trying to say. That’s a really wonderful way of looking at this phase of my life and my music. I’ve spent a lot of time re-calibrating my life to make it feel manageable. Because there were some years there where I felt like I didn’t quite know what exactly to give people and what to hold back, what to share and what to protect. I think a lot of people go through that, especially in the last decade. I broke through pre-social media, and then there was this phase where social media felt fun and casual and quirky and safe. And then it got to the point where everyone has to evaluate their relationship with social media. So I decided that the best thing I have to offer people is my music. I’m not really here to influence their fashion or their social lives. That has bled through into the live part of what I do.

Meanwhile, you’ve found a way to interact with your fans in this very pure way - on your Tumblr page. Tumblr is the last place on the internet where I feel like I can still make a joke because it feels small, like a neighborhood rather than an entire continent. We can kid around - they literally drag me. It’s fun. That’s a real comfort zone for me. And just like anything else, I need breaks from it sometimes. But when I do participate in that space, it’s always in a very inside-joke, friend vibe. Sometimes, when I open Twitter, I get so overwhelmed that I just immediately close it. I haven’t had Twitter on my phone in a while because I don’t like to have too much news. Like, I follow politics, and that’s it. But I don’t like to follow who has broken up with who, or who wore an interesting pair of shoes. There’s only so much bandwidth my brain can really have.

You’ve spoken in recent interviews about the general expectations you’ve faced, using phrases like “They’ve wanted to see this” and “They hated me for this.” Who is “they”? Is it social media or disparaging think pieces or... It’s sort of an amalgamation of all of it. People who aren’t active fans of your music, who like one song but love to hear who has been canceled on Twitter. I’ve had several upheavals of somehow not being what I should be. And this happens to women in music way more than men. That’s why I get so many phone calls from new artists out of the blue - like, “Hey, I’m getting my first wave of bad press, I’m freaking out, can I talk to you?” And the answer is always yes! I’m talking about more than 20 people who have randomly reached out to me. I take it as a compliment because it means that they see what has happened over the course of my career, over and over again.

Did you have someone like that to reach out to? Not really, because my career has existed in lots of different neighborhoods of music. I had so many mentors in country music. Faith Hill was wonderful. She would reach out to me and invite me over and take me on tour, and I knew that I could talk to her. Crossing over to pop is a completely different world. Country music is a real community, and in pop I didn’t see that community as much. Now there is a bit of one between the girls in pop - we all have each other’s numbers and text each other - but when I first started out in pop it was very much you versus you versus you. We didn’t have a network, which is weird because we can help each other through these moments when you just feel completely isolated.

Do you feel like those barriers are actively being broken down now? God, I hope so. I also hope people can call it out, [like] if you see a Grammy prediction article, and it’s just two women’s faces next to each other and feels a bit gratuitous. No one’s going to start out being perfectly educated on the intricacies of gender politics. The key is that people are trying to learn, and that’s great. No one’s going to get it perfect, but, God, please try.

At this point, who is your sounding board, creatively and professionally From a creative standpoint, I’ve been writing alone a lot more. I’m good with being alone, with thinking alone. When I come up with a marketing idea for the Lover tour, the album launch, the merch, I’ll go right to my management company that I’ve put together. I think a team is the best way to be managed. Just from my experience, I don’t think that this overarching, one-person-handles-my-career thing was ever going to work for me. Because that person ends up kind of being me who comes up with most of the ideas, and then I have an amazing team that facilitates those ideas. The behind-the-scenes work is different for every phase of my career that I’m in. Putting together the festival shows that we’re doing for Lover is completely different than putting together the Reputation Stadium Tour. Putting together the reputation launch was so different than putting together the 1989 launch. So we really do attack things case by case, where the creative first informs everything else.

You’ve spoken before about how meaningful the reputation tour’s success was. What did it represent? That tour was something that I wanted to immortalize in the Netflix special that we did because the album was a story, but it almost was like a story that wasn’t fully realized until you saw it live. It was so cool to hear people leaving the show being like, “I understand it now. I fully get it now.” There are a lot of red herrings and bait-and-switches in the choices that I’ll make with albums, because I want people to go and explore the body of work. You can never express how you feel over the course of an album in a single, so why try?

That seems especially true of your last three albums or so. “Shake It Off” is nothing like the rest of 1989. It’s almost like I feel so much pressure with a first single that I don’t want the first single to be something that makes you feel like you’ve figured out what I’ve made on the rest of the project. I still truly believe in albums, whatever form you consume them in - if you want to stream them or buy them or listen to them on vinyl. And I don’t think that makes me a staunch purist. I think that that is a strong feeling throughout the music industry. We’re running really fast toward a singles industry, but you got to believe in something. I still believe that albums are important.

The music industry has become increasingly global during the past decade. Is reaching new markets something you think about? Yeah, and I’m always trying to learn. I’m learning from everyone. I’m learning when I go see Bruce Springsteen or Madonna do a theater show. And I’m learning from new artists who are coming out right now, just seeing what they’re doing and thinking, “That’s really cool.” You need to keep your influences broad and wide-ranging, and my favorite people who make music have always done that. I got to work with Andrew Lloyd Webber on the Cats movie, and Andrew will walk through the door and be like, “I’ve just seen this amazing thing on TikTok!” And I’m like, “You are it! You are it!” Because you cannot look at what quote-unquote “the kids are doing” and roll your eyes. You have to learn.

Have you explored TikTok at all? I only see them when they’re posted to Tumblr, but I love them! I think that they’re hilarious and amazing. Andrew says that they’ve made musicals cool again, because there’s a huge musical facet to TikTok. [He’s] like, “Any way we can do that is good.”

How do you see your involvement in the business side of your career progressing in the next decade? You seem like someone who could eventually start a label or be more hands-on with signing artists. I do think about it every once in a while, but if I was going to do it, I would need to do it with all of my energy. I know how important that is, when you’ve got someone else’s career in your hands, and I know how it feels when someone isn’t generous.

You’ve served as an ambassador of sorts for artists, especially recently - staring down streaming services over payouts, increasing public awareness about the terms of record deals. We have a long way to go. I think that we’re working off of an antiquated contractual system. We’re galloping toward a new industry but not thinking about re-calibrating financial structures and compensation rates, taking care of producers and writers. We need to think about how we handle master recordings, because this isn’t it. When I stood up and talked about this, I saw a lot of fans saying, “Wait, the creators of this work do not own their work, ever?” I spent 10 years of my life trying rigorously to purchase my masters outright and was then denied that opportunity, and I just don’t want that to happen to another artist if I can help it. I want to at least raise my hand and say, “This is something that an artist should be able to earn back over the course of their deal - not as a renegotiation ploy - and something that artists should maybe have the first right of refusal to buy.” God, I would have paid so much for them! Anything to own my work that was an actual sale option, but it wasn’t given to me. Thankfully, there’s power in writing your music. Every week, we get a dozen synch requests to use “Shake It Off” in some advertisement or “Blank Space” in some movie trailer, and we say no to every single one of them. And the reason I’m rerecording my music next year is because I do want my music to live on. I do want it to be in movies, I do want it to be in commercials. But I only want that if I own it.

Do you know how long that rerecording process will take? I don’t know! But it’s going to be fun, because it’ll feel like regaining a freedom and taking back what’s mine. When I created [these songs], I didn’t know what they would grow up to be. Going back in and knowing that it meant something to people is actually a really beautiful way to celebrate what the fans have done for my music.

Ten years ago, on the brink of the 2010s, you were about to turn 20. What advice would you give yourself if you could go back in time? Oh, God - I wouldn’t give myself any advice. I would have done everything exactly the same way. Because even the really tough things I’ve gone through taught me things that I never would have learned any other way. I really appreciate my experience, the ups and downs. And maybe that seems ridiculously Zen, but... I’ve got my friends, who like me for the right reasons. I’ve got my family. I’ve got my boyfriend. I’ve got my fans. I’ve got my cats.

Taylor Swift Discusses 'The Man' & 'It's Nice To Have a Friend' In Cover Story Outtakes

Billboard // by Jason Lipshutz // December 12th 2019

During her cover story interview for Billboard’s Women In Music issue, Taylor Swift discussed several aspects of her mega-selling seventh studio album Lover, including its creation after a personal “recalibrating” period, her stripped-down performances of its songs and her plans to showcase the full-length live with her Lover Fest shows next year. In two moments from the extended conversation that did not make the print story, Billboard’s Woman of the Decade also touched upon two of the album’s highlights, which double as a pair of the more interesting songs in her discography: “The Man” and “It’s Nice To Have A Friend.” 

“The Man” imagines how Swift’s experience as a person, artist and figure within the music industry would have been different had she been a man, highlighting how much harder women have to work in order to succeed (“I’m so sick of running as fast as I can / Wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man,” she sings in the chorus). The song has become a fan favorite since the release of Lover, and Swift recently opened a career-spanning medley with the song at the 2019 American Music Awards.

When asked about “The Man,” Swift pointed out specific double standards that exist in everyday life and explained why she wanted to turn that frustration into a pop single. Read Swift’s full thoughts on “The Man” below:

“It was a song that I wrote from my personal experience, but also from a general experience that I’ve heard from women in all parts of our industry. And I think that, the more we can talk about it in a song like that, the better off we’ll be in a place to call it out when it’s happening. So many of these things are ingrained in even women, these perceptions, and it’s really about re-training your own brain to be less critical of women when we are not criticizing men for the same things. So many things that men do, you know, can be phoned-in that cannot be phoned-in for us. We have to really — God, we have to curate and cater everything, but we have to make it look like an accident. Because if we make a mistake, that’s our fault, but if we strategize so that we won’t make a mistake, we’re calculating.

“There is a bit of a damned-if-we-do, damned-if-we-don’t thing happening in music, and that’s why when I can, like, sit and talk and be like ‘Yeah, this sucks for me too,’ that feels good. When I go online and hear the stories of my fans talking about their experience in the working world, or even at school — the more we talk about it, the better off we’ll be. And I wanted to make it catchy for a reason — so that it would get stuck in people’s heads, [so] they would end up with a song about gender inequality stuck in their heads. And for me, that’s a good day.”

Meanwhile, the penultimate song on Lover, “It’s Nice To Have A Friend,” sounds unlike anything in Swift’s catalog thanks to its elliptical structure, lullaby-like tone and incorporation of steel drums and brass. When asked about the song, Swift talked about experimenting with her songwriting, as well as capturing a different angle of the emotional themes at the heart of Lover. Read Swift’s full thoughts on “It’s Nice To Have A Friend” below:

“It was fun to write a song that was just verses, because my whole body and soul wants to make a chorus — every time I sit down to write a song, I’m like, ‘Okay, chorus time, let’s get the chorus done.’ But with that song, it was more of like a poem, and a story and a vibe and a feeling of... I love metaphors that kind of have more than one meaning, and I think I loved the idea that, on an album called Lover, we all want love, we all want to find somebody to see our sights with and hear things with and experience things with.

“But at the end of the day we’ve been searching for that since we were kids! When you had a friend when you were nine years old, and that friend was all you talked about, and you wanted to have sleepovers and you wanted to walk down the street together and sit there drawing pictures together or be silent together, or be talking all night. We’re just looking for that, but endless sparks, as adults.”

Read the full Taylor Swift cover story here, and click here for more info on Billboard’s 2019 Women In Music event, during which Swift will be presented with the first-ever Woman of the Decade award.

[link to this tweet]

Was there ever a part of you that was like, “Oh shit, I like this darker vibe, let’s go even further down that path?” I really Loved Reputation because it felt like a rock opera, or a musical, doing it live. Doing that stadium show was so fun because it was so theatrical and so exciting to perform that, because it’s really cathartic! But I have to follow whatever direction my life is going in emotionally... The skies were opening up in my life. That’s what happened. But in a way that felt like a pink sky, a pink and purple sky, after a storm, and now it looks even more beautiful because it looked so stormy before. And that’s just like, I couldn't stop writing. I’ve never had an album with 18 songs on it before, and a lot of what I do is based on intuition. So, you know, I try not to overthink it. Who knows, there may be another dark album. I plan on doing lots of experimentation over the course of my career. Who knows? But it was a blast, I really loved it.

I mean, look, a Taylor Swift screamo album? I’ll be first in line. I’m so happy to hear that, because I think you might be the only one. Ha! I have a terrible scream. It’s obnoxious.

Why Taylor Swift's Lover Fest Will Be Her Next Big Step

Billboard // by Jason Lipshutz // December 11th 2019 - [Excerpt]

On why she chose to put together Lover fest: “I haven’t really done festivals in years - not since I was a teenager. That’s something that [the fans] don’t expect from me, so that’s why I wanted to do it. I want to challenge myself with new things and at the same time keep giving my fans something to connect to.”

[thatsastretch]

I agree about the regular interval of music dumps. I dont feel it's done in a way to truly enjoy the music and celebrate it. For instance, Camila did a huge promo gig in the UK today...but for Liar and it was a great rendition of it. It feels like people are just releasing to compete and it just takes away from it. I like th fun Niall and the fans are having with NTMY. It feels more focused on the music and enjoying it. Maybe I'm old school

Yeah. Me too. I was talking to some of my coworkers today and we decided it’s been pretty brilliant. For the cost of some pictures he has gotten maximum effect for his investment. Like, honestly, brilliant. He’s dropped his single cover art, dropped the link to pre-order, some instrumental tidbits, a few gifs, some humming, his single cover art on a transparency and posted his picture and invited fans to do the same, same with a gif, the music challenge, interacted with fans, showed some pics/video from rehearsal, since he can’t post the song he posted a cover to hold everyone over. It’s simple but effective. 

[5hfanfiction]

Why Did I Get Married? (Camren)

Chapter 16: The Kiss

“Paint a picture for you and me, Of the days when we were young, Singing at the top of both our lungs, On the day we fell in love. On the day we fell in love.”

Camila strummed her guitar mindlessly as sang the words softly to herself, unaware as to wife looking on. She had pushed her album release back by a couple of months; it was scheduled to drop sometime over the summer, and she most likely would’ve been touring for the rest of the year. But the tour wasn’t set in stone as yet.

Her album was completed, with eighteen songs because dropping an album with only ten songs and a radio edit was ridiculous. Definitely not something Camila would do.

“Hey,” Lauren said as she entered the room, startling her wife. “That’s a nice song. Is it on the album?”

Camila nodded. “Y-yeah,” she stammered completely caught off guard. “It’s called ‘2002’.”

She took a seat on their bed next to her wife, who turned her body in her direction. “So when can I get to hear your songs?”

The singer smirked. “You’ll just have to wait like everyone, Laur. Pre-Save my album on Spotify and Pre-Order 'The Hurting, The Healing, The Loving’ on iTunes.”

Lauren rolled her eyes. “That’s not fair! Being married to you meant hat I’ll get early access to your music. Come on give me the links.”

“So you can leak it?” Camila slipped her guitar back into its case and got off the bed. “No can do, babe. You just got to wait just like the rest of the world.”

“Am I not invited to your album release party?” Lauren pouted. “I’ll even bring snacks.”

Camila shook her head and laughed. “Fine. You’re invited. Give me your phone,” her wife stared at her, silently asking why she wanted it in the first place. “I’m going to put the songs on it, jeez. I’m not going to look at your nudes that you haven’t sent me yet.”

Lauren choked on air. “W-what?” She stuttered. “I don’t…I don’t… I mean I don’t have nudes on my phone. I just wanted to know why you wanted it. That’s all.”

The younger woman just smirked and took the phone from her wife, connecting it to her MacBook and transferred the songs.

“There you go. You can listen to it on your flight to Milan,” Camila handed the phone back to her wife. “Are you nervous?”

Lauren scrolled through her phone looking for Camila’s music, ignoring her wife. That was until the woman waved her hand in front of her wife’s face snapping Lauren out of it. “Huh?”

“I asked, are you nervous about meeting the Dos Santos, dude?”

The photographer shook her head 'no’. “Not really, no. I’m more nervous about leaving Izzy. I’ve never been away from her for so long. It’s going to hurt.” She sighed.

“Hurt you? Or hurt Izzy?” Camila took a seat next to her wife, taking her hand in hers. Lauren didn’t respond, she simply sighed. “Lauren, you do know following your dreams doesn’t make you a bad mother right? The same can’t be said about me.” Camila shrugged. “But it’s different with you. You’ve been giving 100% throughout Izzy’s life, you should at least give that into your career and making yourself happy as well.”

“I just don’t want to hurt Izzy, you know? I don’t want her to think the both of us are abandoning her,” Lauren sighed. “We already did it when we took that break from one another. Even though it was just for a few days.”

Camila took her wife’s face in her hands, forcing the woman to look at her, to look into her eyes. "You’re not abandoning her. Izzy knows that. She loves you.”

***

“Lauren,” Marissa greeted the woman. “You’re alone?” She asked as she typed something on the computer, looking at Doctor Briggs appointments today. “Oh right. Your one on one session with Doctor Briggs is today and Camila’s is next week.”

The photographer nodded in confirmation. “Yeah, is Doctor Briggs in as yet?”

“No. She’s running a bit late, why don’t you take a seat?” The secretary gestured to the empty waiting room, besides for a couple who were too engrossed in bickering quietly, to notice someone else had taken a seat.

Lauren awkwardly cleared her throat and pulled out her phone. There were a bunch of notifications; mostly from Maggie tagging her in shit on Instagram. She scrolled through twitter for a bit and saw a tweet her sister had just tweeted.

@  thecoolerjauregui Sometimes I feel like bread is the only thing I’ll ever love

Lauren snorted loudly. Her sister had a tendency for tweeting dumb shit and always had a lot of retweets. She questioned the sanity of her fans.

Lauren closed the app and then decided to respond to Natasha.

Natasha: Are we still on for tonight?

Lauren: Why wouldn’t we be?

Natasha: Just checking. I know you didn’t want to leave your precious lil familia.

Lauren rolled her eyes and tucked her phone away. She knew her friend didn’t mean it in a bad way. Natasha of all people would understand why she was willing to give up her dreams for her family.

It took a few minutes for Doctor Briggs to come in and a couple more until Lauren’s appointment began.

“Good morning, Lauren. How are you today?” The therapist asked as she grabbed her clipboard and iPad.

Lauren shrugged. “I’m doing alright. Just a bit excited slash nervous about a job I have later. I’ll be heading to Milan.”

Chelsea nodded. “And Camila? What does she think about you having to go?”

“She actually wanted me to. She was really supportive about the whole thing,” Lauren smiled. Between the two, Camila seemed like the one who was actually living out her dreams. Sure, Lauren was happy being a photographer but she had turned down so many opportunities for her family. She was finally happy that she didn’t have to turn down this one.

Doctor Briggs wrote in her clipboard and flipped the page stopping on their assignment. “What about your assignment? How did that play out?”

The photographer awkwardly ran her fingers through her hair. “I actually didn’t make the list. I didn’t feel like it was necessary to make something like that. I love everything about her.”

Being in love with someone meant that you took the good with the bad. The ugly as well; just look at Beyoncé for example. But sometimes, there’s the littlest of things that irk you about your partner.

Doctor Briggs smiled. “Oh really? There’s nothing about Camila that you don’t like?”

“I mean…she isn’t the best listener. Not that she won’t listen to me. She hogs the bed. I kind of forgot about that because we hadn’t slept with each other for so long, but she’s also an amazing cuddle buddy,” Lauren rambled. It seemed as though even though the things about Camila that annoyed her, she always found the bright side of it.

“I don’t like how she put her career over us, over her family, but I love how she’s trying.”

“What do you mean, "trying”?“ The therapist asked.

Lauren mindlessly played with the zipper of her jacket. "I didn’t realise it until it was constantly brought to my attention. How she was home a lot longer now. How she pushed her album release date back. How she wasn’t sure if there was going to be a tour,” Doctor Briggs nodded. “But I don’t want her to give up her career for us. I want her to balance it. The way I do. And I guess, she’s having trouble doing that.”

“Do you have any ideas on how to help her balance her career and her family life?”

The woman shrugged. “I don’t know. I think that’s something we have to sit and discuss together. But I can see that she’s trying. I think even Izzy can see it.” Lauren admitted. Which was true, even though Izzy was still torn up about Camila always having to leave her, she seemed to have accepted the fact that her mother would return to her. Even though she would rather her being home with her all the time.

“Is there anything else you’ll want to add to your list? Any quirks or bad habits?” Doctor Briggs asked. It was not to say that there was anything wrong with Camila, but sometimes even your partner who you claim to love, there’s always something you don’t like about them.

Lauren combed her fingers through her hair and shrugged. “There’s really nothing that’s unbearable about her.”

The therapist decided against pushing the subject seeing that Lauren clearly seemed to have no issues with her wife besides what was stated. “Okay, I’m going to ask you some questions now.” The client nodded. “You and Camila met when you were very young, yes?”

Lauren nodded again. “Yes. We were 15 and 16. We attended the same high school.”

“How was your high school life like?”

She shrugged. “It wasn’t the best but at the same time it wasn’t horrible. I wasn’t popular like Camila was. I had a close knit group of friends who I’m still close with but they all live overseas.” Lauren sighed at the memory of her high-school days. “I was picked on by a couple of girls in my year. They used to call me names; said I was a freak. They picked on me for other things,” Lauren folded her hands into a fist at her sides. The thought of having to relieve those days, of not standing up for herself made her angry. How could someone just target someone else and for no apparent reason? “But I rather not relieve it. They weren’t good memories.”

Chelsea had been scribbling in her pad and paused for a moment to look at her patient’s emotions. It was clear that she still harbored some sort of animosity towards what happened to her.

“How was your relationship with Camila during high school? Were anyone opposed to the idea of you two dating?”

Lauren looked straight ahead and stared at the wall behind her therapist. She sighed. “I think the only people who didn’t give a shit about our relationship were the teachers and our friends. Everyone said Camila was too good for me.” She shrugged. Which they were right. Camila was the captain of the cheer squad, the teacher’s pet, she was acing all her classes but yet, she still had such an active social life. She was the school’s golden child. And Lauren? She had always felt inferior to her wife, even to this day. She always felt like she didn’t deserve Camila and that she could’ve done so much better.

Sure, she knew Camila had loved her. They had gotten married after all, but there’s always that voice in the back of your head where you think the person you’re dating or who your married to could’ve done so much better than you.

“What did Camila have to say about that?”

Lauren laughed and shook her head. “Camila couldn’t give a shit what people had to say. That’s what I love the most about her. She doesn’t care about what irrelevant people think about her or the people she cares about,” she sighed and looked at the therapist. “But I’m not Camila. What they said…what her fans say sometimes about me? It hurts.” She stressed. They always say when you’re famous not to read the comments, but how would know you the good things people are saying if you don’t read them?

You can receive thousands of 'I love yous’, 'You’re beautiful,’ but the one bad comment? That’s the one that sticks with you. That’s the one that you constantly think about even if you don’t want to, and you can’t help but wonder what you can do to improve yourself. To make them like you.

What do people get out of hurting someone?

What do they get out of sitting behind their computer screens, or typing behind their iPhones and saying shit no one asked them to say?

And the thing is, if the roles were reversed, they wouldn’t like it. So why do they do it?

It fucks with you because it’s truly not your fault. You can’t make someone like you

“So Camila was happy in the relationship?”

Lauren nodded. “Yes. She was. We got married for a reason,” she subtly rolled her eyes. Unless Camila married her for money, then that was a story for another day. “I am too. Well, not like I used to be, because we aren’t what we were, but we’re getting there. I can’t imagine a world without her.”

Doctor Briggs placed her iPad on the table next to her chair and took off her glasses. “Lauren, you realise that your insecurities are something that’s affecting your relationship right? It’s stopping you from reaching your full potential in your marriage.” The photographer sighed heavily and looked down. She knew it was a major blockage but she couldn’t help it. “You both are married and from what you’ve told me and what I observed, Camila does not want to be here at therapy because she’s afraid that word gets out, but she’s still coming to therapy to work this out.”

“I…I know,” Lauren stammered. “She’s home a lot more now, she’s trying. She’s trying to be there for us…for Izzy. We talk a lot more now. We went to Paris for her birthday….and the things she told me, I know she wants us to work. I want us to work too.” She remembered the way Camila held her in her arms, they way they looked at one another. It finally felt like them again.

“Then what’s holding you back from letting go of all these self doubts?”

Lauren placed her face in her hand and sighed heavily, pausing for quite sometime. “Because…because everyone leaves. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Everyone lies, everyone forgets me, hurts me and they give up on me,” she laughed bitterly. But when she raised her head, Chelsea could see that there were tears in her eyes. “Am I that bad? Really? Am I that bad that the first girl I liked to have shown interest in me, fucked me over because of some dumb bet? She broke my heart and shattered my self esteem…” she wiped at her eyes harshly. “And my dad…the man who I looked up to as a kid. Who I wanted to be just like. He fucked us over, he fucked my family over because of some fucking maid!” Doctor Briggs sat upright in her seat and grabbed her notepad again. “I loved him! I loved my parents’ marriage so much. I idolized them and then…then I get to find out that he cheated on my mother for years. My mom was just a house wife. A nobody. She didn’t go to college. She didn’t have the money my dad had, they were from two different worlds but yet they somehow seemed to make it work…all for it to fall apart.”

Maybe that was Lauren’s fear…that one day Camila would realise that she was too good for her. That she would break her heart the same way that mystery girl did. The same way her dad did.

Everyone eventually realises their worth, right?

“I see how broken my mom is after my dad. She still loves him. There’s still love there, but love can’t mend a shattered heart,” she ran her hands through her hair. “I don’t want to break Camila’s heart to save mine, but I don’t want what I see happening around me…to happen to me.” Lauren looked at Doctor Briggs. “Have you ever gotten your heart broken?”

The therapist kinked an eyebrow. She was accustomed to people directing her questions back at her, but this one was different. “Yes, Lauren. I did. A long time ago. It took quite some time to get over it, but I did eventually.”

“Are you married?”

Chelsea nodded. “Yes. To my husband Daryl. We’ve been together for five years now and we have a two year old son.”

Lauren nodded and sat back in her seat. She ran her hands through her hair and fixed her jacket. No one spoke. “I don’t want to break my daughter’s heart the same way my dad broke mine. The same way my parents are breaking my sister’s. No one wants to tell her because we know she can’t handle the truth…but I can see that it’s hurting her. Not having our mom and dad together. I would do anything for Izzy.”

“Lauren…” Chelsea began. “You are not your father, you’re not your parents, you know that right?” The woman nodded. “Just by saying that you would do anything for your daughter, you realise that, that is a step in the right direction?” She nodded slowly. “What happened to you was unfortunate, but some times things like that cannot be changed. Your father did what he did for reasons, but your circumstances are different. You accept that you’re at fault and that you’re willing to make your marriage work.”

“But will that…will that be enough in the long run?”

“I cannot answer that for you. If you and your partner realise that it’s not making any sense and that you both should move on…then that’s your decision to make.” Which was in fact true. Doctor Briggs could not play Cupid and decide if they should stay together or not. She was simply a mediator and was trying to lead them on the right path and for them to realise their issues and help them to try to solve it. “I’m going to ask you some questions based on your compatibility test. Okay?”

Lauren sighed heavily. This session was taking a lot of her and she couldn’t wait for it to be finally over.

“When asked the question 'What is my biggest fear?’ how do you think Camila answered based on what she thought was your fear?” The therapist asked. She placed her hand under her chin and studied her client.

Lauren thought about it for a moment. They were 91% compatible which meant that there answers were somewhat similar. “Losing our family. Losing her. That’s my biggest fear and I think after everything we’ve been true, I think Camila knew what the answer was.”

Doctor Briggs nodded. “Yes, she did. That’s what she said.” The Latina kinked an eyebrow, but she didn’t say anything. “What about when asked 'What is my favourite thing we’ve bought together?’ What do you think she said?”

She wracked her brain for an answer. She never admitted such a thing to Camila so she wasn’t sure if her wife knew what it was. “I guess, well to me, the favourite thing we bought together was our home. It’s not as lavish as other celebrity homes, and my wife isn’t one for material things, but she did want a nice home with a beautiful backyard for our daughter to play in and for us to make many memories in. So when we saw that house…"Lauren paused and stared into space, as though she was reliving the memory. She smiled to herself. "We just knew that we could’ve made a home out of it. It was perfect for us.”

Doctor Briggs nodded again. This had caught Lauren off guard. Her wife knew her a lot more than she thought. Sometimes, you don’t have to say something to someone for them to know, if they’re paying attention, they’ll realise. They’ll realise when something upsets you just by the change of your mood or the tone of your voice. They’ll see the way your eyes light up and they’ll know you like something, or the way you constantly talk about something and they’ll know how much you want it.

They’ll know if they pay attention.

“Lastly, 'What is the colour of my eyes?’ What do you think she said?” The therapist jotted down some notes on Lauren’s reaction as to the answers of her wife. Clearly, not expecting any of this.

Lauren shrugged. “I would’ve just said green, to be honest. Even though I hate when people say that because it’s not actually green. But the easier answer would be green.” She paused. “But Camila doesn’t do easy. I think she probably said at first glance it was green, but when the light hits them, they turn grey.”

Chelsea had a small smile on her face. “You forgot the part where she said 'if you were to look really close around the iris, it’s like an explosion of colours. And when you look into the sun, then she could get lost in your eyes for an eternity.” The woman smiled; there was also a light shade of pink that tinted her cheeks as well. Camila definitely knew her.

“Wow,” was all Lauren muttered under her breath.

“I guess it’s safe to say you and your wife know each other quite well,” Doctor Briggs said as she wrote in her pad. She scribbled a bit more until she looked at the clock to realise that time was winding down. “I have an assignment for you. Your relationship has been progressing and seemingly moving a lot faster than the average one; that has been in distress, might I add. It only seems fitting now, that you two were to rebuild your physical relationship.”

Lauren’s eyes were opened widely at the mention of a 'physical relationship’. Sure, she wanted to get her wife back into bed, but she wasn’t ready for that step as yet.

“I don’t mean sex,” Doctor Briggs saw that her client had visibly relaxed instantly. “I meant, a kiss. Do something romantic that will lead up to having a kiss. Not a peck but an actual kiss filled with passion.”

“And tongue?” Lauren laughed.

The therapist shrugged. “If that is passionate to you, then I say go for it. Don’t rush into it. Don’t try to make it happen because I said you have to kiss. Find the perfect moment and seize it. Gauge her reaction to it as well and see if she wants it, if you want it.”

“What if she pushes me off before I get the chance to do it?”

“Judging from what you told me, from what I witnessed firsthand, I don’t think she will push you off,” Doctor Briggs took a sip of her coffee that she had seemed to have forgotten about. It was cold, but anything was better than piping hot coffee. Am I right or am I right? “You said that she’s trying to make things work right? And your trip to Paris was also a success?”

Lauren nodded, the memory of their almost kiss came rushing back into her mind. She wanted to kiss her, right then and there, but she didn’t think they were ready. She didn’t think that was the right time.

“Then…I’m expecting to hear about your assignment when we meet next. Can you please inform Camila that next session will just be her alone?”

***

“Izzy?” Camila called out to their daughter who was engrossed in the show she was watching. “EMILIA ISABELLA!” She yelled.

Lauren was startled when she reentered their home and so was their child. “Woah, Camz. What’s wrong?”

Camila stomped frustratedly into the living room. “I’ve been calling her for the last few minutes and she wasn’t answering.”

The child’s other mother turned to look at her as she shrugged off her jacket. “Izzy, how many times do I have to tell you to answer when one of us is calling you?”

Izzy hung her head. “I’m sorry, mama. Sorry, mummy. I just like the tv show. I didn’t watch it yesterday so I wanted to catch up.”

Camila sighed, and stooped to her daughter’s level. “It’s okay, baby. But next time, you’re to answer me okay?” Izzy nodded. “Can you go wash up for dinner?” The child headed to the washroom while Camila turned to her wife. “How was your session?”

Lauren walked into the kitchen with her wife trailing behind her. “It was fine. I got a revelation and all that jazz, so it was really good.” She washed her hands, then took a seat at the dining table. Izzy entered the room and Camila helped her up.

“Mama?”

“Yes, mija?”

Izzy moved some food around in her plate and she looked at her mother. “You’re leaving tonight right?” Lauren nodded slowly. “When are you coming back?”

The photographer was somewhat relieved as the child asked her 'when’ she was coming back, which meant that Izzy knew she wasn’t going to abandon her. “In two weeks, baby. But I’ll try to come back sooner. Okay?”

Izzy nodded. “Can we FaceTime everyday?”

Her mother nodded. “Your mummy would be here with you and you’ll have aunty Maggie.”

Camila shook her head 'no’. “Actually, Maggie has a modelling gig in Madrid. So it’ll just me and you. You and me. Both of us….togetherrrrr.” She tickled her daughter causing her to giggle.

“Mike Wazowski,” Izzy said through her giggles.

Lauren shook her head smiling. “I’m living with children.”

Her wife stuck her tongue out at her. “You love us. Don’t deny it.”

The little family engaged in their typical banter. It had been quite some time since this had happened; especially since you know. But over the weeks, home finally started to feel like home again.

Lauren stopped talking and just looked at her family smiling to herself. This was what she wanted. A wife who she was in love with, and a symbol of their love; Izzy, to nurture and shower with their undying love and affection.

Here’s the thing; you can’t choose someone who doesn’t choose you. You just can’t. Because your person is going to be your person until your dying breath. Not only when you just met, and you’re in the honeymoon phase of your relationship, but when things get messy and tough and you don’t know if you want this anymore. You have to make sure that you have someone by your side who actually wants to be there.

Someone who puts in just as much effort as you do. Someone who makes you laugh, and who you want to wake up every morning to the sound of their breathing; to having their limbs intertwined with yours.

There’s difficult times in your life, really bad, hurtful, messy shit happens that makes life heavy and unbearable at times.

But love?

Love should be there with its arms wrapped around you, whispering into your ear that everything is going to be okay.

Love should be there chartering your ship out of those stormy seas.

Love should be your safe place.

Please, please don’t give the best parts of yourself to someone who doesn’t see the value in what they have. Don’t give yourself to someone who isn’t patient, who doesn’t understand you, who doesn’t see the cracks in you and tries to hold it together.

Don’t settle for anyone who doesn’t look at you and sees a home in you.

***

Camila reentered their room, drying her hair with a towel. Her wife threw on her jacket, and jumped when she saw her. “Hey, I didn’t hear you come in.”

The singer shrugged. “I’m a ninja.”

Lauren rolled her eyes. “I just put Izzy to bed. Natasha should be here soon.” Camila nodded and approached her wife, adjusting her jacket. She visibly gulped at the closeness. How easy would it be to just kiss her, to finally taste her lips again.

Camila stepped away from her wife. “Are you nervous?” She asked.

Lauren sighed. “To be honest? I think the nerves are starting to kick in. I mean, I’ve always wanted to work with this guy, Camz!” She exclaimed. “And it’s finally going to happen. What if I mess this up?”

Camila didn’t respond. Instead, she headed into their shared closet and pulled out a box overhead. Setting it on their bed, she gestured for her wife to sit beside her. “Does any of this look familiar?”

Lauren took some of the photographs out of the box and smiled. They were polaroids she took over the years of them being together. Most of them were from the dates they went to, candids of Camila, nature and so much more. “Wow,” Lauren whispered under her breath. “I can’t believe you kept these.”

Camila smiled. “Why wouldn’t I? I’m your biggest fan.”

“I just- wow. These are a lot different to what I do now.”

Camila handed Lauren a picture of the both of them. She couldn’t remember who had taken it, but they looked so happy, so in love. It was when Lauren had just started NYU, and had begun her degree in photography. “Why did you choose to do photography?”

Lauren looked up from the picture in her hand, to her wife. “There’s just something about capturing a moment, that really gets to me. Things change, people change, but pictures are forever.”

“This was when you were doing photography for fun, Laur. Without worrying about having to impress some big shot designer or whatever he is,” Camila shrugged. She couldn’t care about the guy. “This was when you did photography for you. Don’t let the desire of pleasing someone get to you. Do this for you. This is your life, your career. Make yourself happy first.”

Lauren looked at her wife in disbelief. Camila had always supported her over the years, but eventually she had stopped saying these things.

She had always loved her job and what she did, but as time went by, Lauren only tried to please her clients. She had done things in her career she never would’ve done. The love for her art had slowly started to disappear. But hearing what her wife just said, finally made her realise what had been happening.

So she smiled at Camila. “Thank you.”

The brunette shook her head. “No need to thank me, amor. You have to make yourself happy before anyone else.” Camila repacked the photographs into her box and placed it where it used to be. When she turned around, Lauren was standing not too far off from her.

Lauren inched closer until they were practically in each other’s personal space. Either not knowing just how fast the other’s heart was racing. Lauren traced her wife’s jaw with her index finger, and stared into her eyes looking for any sort of hesitancy.

Their lips were on each other’s. It was both familiar and a strange territory to the two. Camila sighed into Lauren’s mouth as her wife traced her lips with her tongue seeking entrance.

As their tongue touched, Lauren felt the instant connection she always felt with her wife. Her chest was bursting with emotions. Their tongues met eagerly in a dance that they both knew all too well. Similar to the push and pull of the tides, they gave and took with ease. Lauren caressed her wife’s body with such care; Camila thought it felt as though if she had touched her the wrong way, she would’ve ended the kiss.

Lauren however, was intent on savouring every moment of this kiss. It had been so long since she shared a moment like this with her wife. She was intent on worshipping the woman she was in love with.

She slowly made her way down Camila’s neck, creating a fire within her that she had felt every single time they kissed so passionately.

Afraid that they were going too far, Camila gently placed her hand on her wife’s chest pushing her off. They didn’t speak; looking at her wife, her eye’s were dilated and her chest was heaving up and down.

“I’m- I’m sorry,” Lauren stuttered our. “I-I…”

Camila pulled her back in for a quick kiss to assure her that everything was okay. “Don’t you dare apologise for kissing me like that. Ever.” She smiled and traced her wife’s lips with her finger. “That was perfect.”

*** Y'all finally got your kiss! Yayy 🙄

Hope y'all enjoyed the chapter 🦋 Until next timeeee. Wattpad:Commander_Camren

[alexngn]

International Fans Problems

I’m from Vietnam btw

You basically can not walk into your idol (even if they were in the same area cuz body guards duh)

Listening to new music on... Youtube (we don’t have fking Spotify here & not everyone wants/is able to afford an Apple product)

Today is the day. But not really!!? (For example: Release date were Jan 12 *cough*CAMILA*cough*. It’s 1am, Jan 6 now where I live. So 6 days to go, right? WRONG. 7 days cuz we basically live on opposite sides of the globe therefore I’m 12h ahead of my idol *cough*Camila Cabello*cough*)

P.s: Guys, here’s a suggestion: PRE-ORDER CAMILA AND REMEMBER TO STREAM ON  ITUNES & SPOTIFY ON JAN 12. Please!

[taenyfm]

Pre-ordered the album. OMG I'M SO HAPPY RN!!😭🌹 #preorderCAMILAtoday

[tabloidtoc]

Star, December 21

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: President Bill Clinton

Page 1: Chrishell Stause has found her knight in shining armor Keo Motsepe -- she was smitten with the Dancing With the Stars pro from the beginning of rehearsals and people noticed the flirty exchanges going on -- fans are just happy Chrishell has found happiness after she was blindsided by ex Justin Hartley in 2019 

Page 2: Contents, Ryan Seacrest 

Page 4: Kelly Clarkson has been awarded primary custody of her kids River Rose and Remington in her divorce from Brandon Blackstock and though she emerged victorious in that battle she may not be so lucky when it comes to her finances because Brandon is requesting a whopping $436K a month in spousal and child support and he maintains he needs the settlement to be a fair reflection of what he’s entitled to

Page 5: Prince William and Duchess Kate Middleton have recently implemented a stern policy limiting the time their children Prince George and Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis spend watching TV and playing video games and using their iPads -- the changes come on the heels of lockdown fatigue and like so many parents Will and Kate relaxed their families’ typical day-to-day routines in order to keep their kids entertained as they spent an unprecedented amount of time at home and as a result the kids enjoyed lazy time and free reign with gadgets -- but now Kate’s since created an at-home rewards program where the trio must earn time on devices by completing productive tasks and even then there’s a three-hour cap on electronics and laying down an iron fist seems to have worked because the kids have become Kensington Palace’s most eager little helpers 

* Despite his tarnished reputation Matt Lauer is still hoping to be the new face of Jeopardy! -- the disgraced TV anchor has asked his former colleagues to put in a good word for him as producers mull over host options following Alex Trebek’s death -- Matt was previously considered a top contender to replace Alex in 2013 when the host was considering retirement at the time but that was before Matt was fired from the Today show after being accused of sexual harassment by multiple women in 2017 and three years hasn’t been long enough to rehab his image

Page 6: He’s one of Hollywood’s most celebrated actors but there’s still one role George Clooney is getting used to: being a dad -- the 59-year-old opened up about the challenges of becoming a father later in life to twins Ella and Alexander with wife Amal Clooney but all jokes aside George couldn’t be more thrilled about being a family man and his age has only made him appreciate the little moments even more

* Heather Gay is paving her own path on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City -- as a self-proclaimed good Mormon gone bad, she balances motherhood and friendships and her career all while dealing with the pressures of being a member of a strict church -- the mother of three is also looking for love and she knows exactly what she wants in future flames even if it conflicts with her religious group’s beliefs: she dates inappropriate and wild and really young men but there’s one caveat: Mormons are off the menu 

* Star Spots the Stars -- Kim Kardashian West, Malin Akerman, Isla Fisher, Ashley Benson, Vanessa Hudgens, Josephine Skriver and Jasmine Tookes, Teresa Giudice 

Page 8: Star Shots -- Sofia Carson en route to pre-tape her performance for the 2020 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in NYC, Brooke Burke and boyfriend Scott Rigsby in Malibu, Vanessa Lachey in L.A. 

Page 10: Pregnant Karlie Kloss doing yoga in pieces from her new Adidas activewear collaboration, Kelly Rutherford couldn’t resist some canine cuddles with her pooches in Santa Monica, Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes stepped out for a stroll in Miami 

Page 12: Gossip Girl’s Emily Alyn Lind hugging Jordan Alexander as their costar Thomas Doherty gave off his best smoldering look on the set of the reboot in NYC, Robin Wright and Clement Giraudet holds hands while on a bike ride in L.A., Aaron Paul was none too pleased to be waiting for a tow truck after his classic car went on the fritz in Beverly Hills 

Page 13: Jay-Z enjoyed a solo walk during a getaway in Hawaii, Paris Jackson during a day at the studio in West Hollywood, Hayley Atwell and Tom Cruise took a break from filming risky car scenes for Mission: Impossible 7 to greet fans in Rome 

Page 14: Mom Life -- celebrities dote on their favorite little humans -- Leighton Meester kept her 3-month-old son safely nested in her arms during a family beach day in Malibu, Missi Pyle with her daughter Zooey Rose and a pal at a playground in L.A., Sara Gilbert enlisted son Rhodes to help pick out a Christmas tree in L.A. 

Page 16: 2020 BET Soul Train Awards in L.A. -- Monica, Smokey Robinson and Charlie Wilson, CeeLo Green, Brandy 

Page 18: Normal or Not? Rose McGowan didn’t let a broken wrist stop her from hitting the water in Mexico -- not, Donnie Wahlberg filmed a tense scene in Blue Bloods -- normal 

Page 20: Fashion -- stars make a statement in red -- Danai Gurira, Joey King, Kelsea Ballerini 

Page 21: Ciara, Jennifer Lopez 

Page 24: It should have been a time for celebrating when Tristan Thompson signed a two-year $19 million contract with the Boston Celtics but Khloe Kardashian wasn’t congratulating him because she is heartbroken her boyfriend has to leave her and their daughter behind to move across the country and with good reason: the two gave their relationship another shot earlier this year after splitting in 2018 amid Tristan’s cheating scandal -- although Khloe had previously relocated to Ohio for Tristan’s career this time she plans to stay put in L.A. near her family and she’s insisting they’ll make their long-distance love affair work but everyone thinks it’s a bad idea given Tristan’s indiscretions 

Page 25: Matthew Perry is engaged to Molly Hurwitz -- the two who began dating in 2018 briefly split up in May but they rekindled the romance months later and decided to make it official because they couldn’t stand to be apart -- they’re planning an intimate beach wedding in Malibu which will likely be a booze-free bash as a nod toward’s Matthew’s sobriety -- though the date is still up in the air amid lockdown restrictions the couple have already finalized a guest list which of course includes Matthew’s Friends costars 

* Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas fell in love on set of Deep Water in 2019 but now the film is driving a wedge between them -- the erotic thriller has been deemed too violent for audiences so as a result the couple are back on location in New Orleans reshooting scenes and the extra one-on-one time has proven to be too much for Ana who’s eager to move on to other projects and Ana enjoys her own space a lot more than being by Ben’s side 24/7 -- meanwhile Ben is hell-bent on making sure Deep Water is a success so it doesn’t turn into another Gigli which is the 2003 flop he starred in with then-girlfriend Jennifer Lopez -- the film isn’t the only thing in limbo as Ben and Ana are beginning to crack amid rising tensions and a demanding film schedule and this has been the biggest test of their relationship for sure 

Page 30: Mary-Kate Olsen’s divorce gets nasty -- tensions flare between Mary-Kate and Olivier Sarkozy as they face off in an epic battle over shared property -- the former couple is duking it out in court over an 8000-square-foot NYC townhouse which they renovated to the tune of $3 million 

Page 32: Hugh Grant: Fame Almost Killed Me -- after becoming a superstar in the ‘90s Hugh went on a hard-partying self-destructive spiral that lasted decades 

Page 34: Over-the-Top Celebrity Proposals -- some celebrities spare nothing when it comes to popping the question -- Pink and Carey Hart, Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom, Eva Longoria and Jose Baston 

Page 35: John Stamos and Caitlin McHugh, Kanye West and Kim Kardashian 

Page 40: Entertainment 

Page 48: Parting Shot -- Katie Holmes 

[twilatin]

Hey guys, you can see that this is not an post with packs because today I want to use this account for more than twitter’s stuff.

Our girl released two songs today and gave us the pre-order link for ‘CAMILA’ that’s coming at January, 12.

So, here we go...

Pre-order: 

iTunes 

Google Play

You can find ‘Never Be The Same’ and ‘Real Friends’ on iTunes and Spotify.

‘NBTS’

 iTunes

 Spotify

‘REAL FRIENDS’

iTunes

Spotify

Playlists for stream (with US ip, please):

‘NBTS’ and ‘REAL FRIENDS’: 

Spotify

YouTube

ONLY ‘NBTS’

Spotify

YouTube

ONLY ‘REAL FRIENDS’

Spotify

YouTube

If you have any questions about anything you can send here or on my twitter: @karlapoems.

Love only, Karol.

[lustfulmarvel]

My best friend brother ??

Request: Hi! Could you do a Jason Blossom imagine pre runaway, where the reader is Cheryl's best friend and there's a sorta "best friends brother" thing? Idk just kinda fluffy? Sorry if that makes no sense 😅 thank you!x

A/N: you guys probably hate me I’ve been gone for so long I’m sorry I just had no inspiration to write but I’m back and I really hate Tumblr I had to write this imagine twice because for some stupid reason my computer decided to refresh in the middle of my writing.

You and Cheryl had always been best friends which of course meant you also had to be close with Jason since they were twins, but you and Jason were a different type of close you always flirted and played pranks on each other although it never went further than a friendship no matter the number of times you wished it had.You liked Jason, you’ve always had ever since you guys were little running around playing hide and seek through the thorn hill mansion.Cheryl always faked getting mad when you and Jason were together she said if you guys got together it would be too cliche the “My best friend Brother “ type of thing, but at the end of the day, you knew if you and Jason got together Cheryl would accept because she loved you both.It was Friday night and the football team had a game, being Cheryl’s best friend included the privilege of being a River Vixen, if there was something Cheryl loved almost as much as she loved Jason it was cheering.It was almost half time so the vixens were getting ready for you performance when the half time whistle was blown, the team ran up to the bleachers and the vixens ran up to the field.You took you position and started the song you guys picked was Camila Cabello’s new song “OMG” as her voice flowed through the speakers your body moved in sync with the music.

🎶“Baby, what'cha say?

I ain't here to, I ain't here to conversate

Baby, I don't play

From Miami, causin' trouble in LA

Rowdy, Tennessee

If I don't send for you, best not come for me

Jordan, 23

Guarantee you're gonna wanna leave with me” 🎶

It was me and Cheryl’s solo, we stepped up showing our moves adrenaline rushed through my body as we both moved with the music.I flip my hair and  continue with the dance when I turn around to face the bleachers, I see Jason he gives me a quick smile and winks at me

🎶“I got that la la la like

Pull up, pull up, pull up straight from Tokyo

You cannot believe it when we come through

Woo, my God, you look good today

Woo, my God, you look good today

Back up, back it up, back up, do it slow-mo

When she drop, it bounce back like a yo-yo

Woo, my God, you look good today

You look good today, yeah

Oh my God”🎶

As our solo part ends we go back to the rest of the vixens and continue dancing, once the song is over everyone gets up and cheer with excitement. I walk back up to the bleacher and spot Jason I wave slightly and go back to talking to the girls.

Time Skip

The game Just finished and our team everyone is cheering like crazy, I go up to Jason and jump on him, he catches me hugging me.

“Congratulations you guys won !!” I said with excitement on my face.

“Thank you, babes,” he says kissing my cheek

“Oh god why don’t you guys become a couple yet is getting old” Reggie says as he comes from behind me

“Why don’t you mind your own business Reg,” Jason says chuckling

“Ouch, anyways after party at my house you coming ?” Reggie asks

“”Yeah we’ll be there I just have to talk to Y/N real quick” Jason responded.

Reggie left leaving you and Jason were standing awkwardly

“Com’on I want to take you somewhere,” Jason says taking your hand and dragging you with him.Everyone was busy with their own conversation to notice you and Jason leaving you shrugged reminding yourself to text Cheryl later, Jason took you to his car and you both got in putting your seatbelt on. He turns on the car and the engine roars. He leaves the school parking lot and you get curious

“Where are we going ?” you ask

“Nowhere really, We’re just going to drive around I just wanted  you all to myself,” he says smiling

“Okay,” you said smiling too

“You know how lucky I am to be here with you? To be next to the prettiest girl in this shitty town? I’m tired of the pointless flirting and the hints, I’m taking my chance, I have been trying to hint at you for the longest that I like you and that I have feelings for you but it seems like they go and I’m just frustrated and confused. You flirt back but that's it we don’t talk about it or dare to take it further and I’m just asking why because I can feel myself slowly falling for you and I don’t know what to do, so I’m here driving around town with the prettiest girl in Riverdale asking if she’d give me a chance”  Jason says looking over to me.

I don’t know how to respond I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long, it’s like the air has been knocked out of my chest.

“I- I always thought that was all you wanted, I always thought you didn’t want a relationship, of course, I noticed the flirting I just never thought much of it, I like you Jason and I’ve always had but you’ve always been so popular and outgoing and out there not afraid of the world and I’m just Cheryl’s best friend , I’m nothing important if not just plain ordinary, I’m not special either and I’ve always dreamt about us being together but I’ve also dreamt about you having someone better” I say out of breath

“That’s the thing to me you’re perfect there’s no one better and there will never be someone better what I feel for you isn’t temporary, is not recent neither I’ve been trying to push it away and hide it because I’ve always thought you weren’t interested so would you like to go out with me ?” Jason  pulls to the curb and asks with hope in his eyes

“Yes yes yes yes, of course, I would,” I say and pulling him in for a kiss.

“How about we ditch that party and have our first date right now? How do Netflix and junk food sound ?” He asks smiling

“After this day amazing,” you say giving him a quick kiss

After that you guys went straight to the thorn hill mansion you ordered pizza while Jason showered and when he finished and the food arrived you guys spent the rest of the night cuddling and watching your favorite show.The rest of the weekend Jason took you on amazing date and the both of you couldn’t be happier

[96harmony96]

Chapter 4 part 2

I threw myself into clubbing like it was going out of style. Cary and I bounced all over downtown clubs from Tribeca to the East Village, wasting stupid money on cover charges and having a fabulous time. I danced until my feet felt like they were going to fall off, but I toughed it out until Cary complained about his heeled boots first.

We’d just stumbled out of a techno-pop club with a plan to buy me flip-flops at a nearby Walgreens when we ran across a hawker promoting a lounge a few blocks away.

“Great place to get off your feet for a while,” he said, without the usual flashy smile or exaggerated hype most of the hawkers employed. His clothes—black jeans and turtleneck—were more upscale, which intrigued me. And he didn’t have fliers or postcards. What he handed me was a business card made from papyrus paper and printed with a gilded font that caught the light of the electric signage around us. I made a mental note to hang on to it as a great piece of print advertising.

A stream of quickly moving pedestrians flowed around us. Cary squinted down at the lettering, having a few more drinks in him than I had. “Looks swank.”

“Show them that card,” the hawker urged. “You’ll skip the cover.”

“Sweet.” Cary linked arms with me and dragged me along. “Let’s go. You might find a quality guy in a swanky joint.”

My feet were seriously killing me by the time we found the place, but I quit bitching when I saw the charming entrance. The line to get in was long, extending down the street and around the corner. Amy Winehouse’s soulful voice drifted out of the open door, as did well-dressed customers who exited with big smiles.

True to the hawker’s word, the business card was a magic key that granted us immediate and free entrance. A gorgeous hostess led us upstairs to a quieter VIP bar that overlooked the stage and dance floor below. We were shown to a small seating area by the balcony and settled at a table hugged by two half-moon velvet sofas. shepropped a beverage menu in the center and said, “Your drinks are on the house. Enjoy your evening.”

“Wow.” Cary whistled. “We scored.”

“I think that hawker recognized you from an ad.”

“Wouldn’t that rock?” He grinned. “God, it’s a great night. Hanging out with my best girl and crushing on a new hunk in my life.”

“Oh?”

“I think I’ve decided to see where things go with Trey.”

That made me happy. It felt like I’d been waiting forever for him to find someone who’d treat him right. “Has he asked you out yet?”

“No, but I don’t think it’s because he doesn’t want to.” He shrugged and smoothed his artfully ripped T-shirt. Paired with black leather pants and spiked wristlets, he looked sexy and wild. “I just think he’s trying to figure out the situation with you first. He wigged when I told him I lived with a woman and that I’d moved across the country to be with you. He’s worried I might be bi-curious and secretly hung up on you. That’s why I wanted you two to meet today, so he could see how you and I are together.”

“I’m sorry, Cary. I’ll try to put him at ease about it.”

“It’s not your fault. Don’t worry about it. It’ll work out if it’s supposed to.”

His assurances didn’t make me feel better. I tried to think if there was a way I could help.

Two guys stopped by our table. “Okay if we join you?” the taller one asked.

I glanced at Cary, and then back at the guys. They looked like brothers and they were very attractive. Both were smiling and confident, their stances loose and easy.

I was about to say, Sure, when a warm hand settled on my bare shoulder and squeezed firmly. “This one’s taken.”

Across from me, Cary gaped as Lauren Jauregui rounded the sofa and extended her hand to him. “Taylor. Lauren Jauregui.”

“Cary Taylor.” He shook Lauren’s hand with a wide smile. “But you knew that. Nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

I could’ve killed him. I seriously thought about it.

“Good to know.” Lauren settled on the seat beside me, her arm draped behind me so that her fingertips could brush casually and possessively up and down my arm. “Maybe there’s hope for me yet.”

Twisting at the waist, I faced her and whispered fiercely, “What are you doing?”

she shot me a hard glance. “Whatever it takes.”

“I’m going to dance.” Cary stood with a mischievous grin. “Be back in a bit.”

Ignoring my pleading glance, my best friend blew me a kiss and the guys followed him. I watched them all go, my heart racing. After another minute, ignoring Lauren became ridiculous, as well as impossible.

My gaze slid over her. shewore dress slacks in graphite gray and a black V-neck sweater, the overall effect being one of careless sophistication. I loved the look on her and was attracted to the softness it gave her, even though I knew it was only an illusion. she was a hard woman in a lot of ways.

I took a deep breath, feeling like I needed to make an effort to socialize with her. After all, wasn’t that my big complaint? That she wanted to skip past the getting-to-know-you stage and jump straight into bed?

“You look…” I paused. Fantastic. Wonderful. Amazing. So damn sexy…In the end, I went with the lame, “I like the way you look.”

Her brow arched. “Ah, something you like about me. Is that a general like of the overall package? Or just the clothes? Only the sweater? Or maybe it’s the pants?”

The edge to her tone rubbed me the wrong way. “And if I say it’s just the sweater?”

“I’ll buy a dozen and wear them every damn day.”

“That would be a shame.”

“You don’t like the sweater?” she was pissy, her words coming clipped and fast.

My hands flexed restlessly in my lap. “I love the sweater, but I also like the suits.”

she stared at me a minute, and then nodded. “How was your date with B.O.B.?”

Oh hell. I looked away. It was a lot easier talking about masturbation over the phone. Doing it while squirming under that piercing green stare was mortifying. “I don’t kiss and tell.”

she brushed the backs of her fingers over my cheek and murmured, “You’re blushing.”

I heard the amusement in her voice and swiftly changed topics. “Do you come here often?”

Shit. Where did that clichéd line come from?

Her hand dropped to my lap and caught one of mine, her fingers curling into my palm. “When necessary.”

A quick stab of jealousy made me stiffen. I glared at her, even though I was mad at myself for caring either way. “What does that mean? When you’re on the prowl?”

Lauren’s mouth curved into a genuine smile that hit me hard. “When expensive decisions need to be made. I own this club, Camila.”

Of course shedid. Jeez.

A pretty waitress set two pinkish-colored iced drinks in square tumblers on the table. she looked at Lauren and gave her a flirtatious smile. “Here you go, Miss. Jauregui. Two Stoli Elites and cranberry. Can I get you anything else?”

“That’ll be all for now. Thanks.”

I could totally see that she wanted to get on the pre approved list and I bristled at that; then I was distracted by what we’d been served. It was my beverage of choice when clubbing and what I’d been drinking all night. My nerves tingled. I watched her take a drink, swirl it around in her mouth like a fine wine, and then swallow it. The working of her throat made me hot, but that was nothing compared to what the intensity of her stare did to me.

“Not bad,” she murmured. “Tell me if we made it right.”

she kissed me. she moved on fast, but I saw it coming and didn’t turn away. Her mouth was cold and flavored with alcohol-laced cranberry. Delicious. All the chaotic emotion and energy that had been writhing around inside me abruptly became too much to contain. I shoved a hand in her glorious hair and clenched it tight, holding her still as I sucked on her tongue. Her groan was the most erotic sound I’d ever heard, making the flesh between my legs tighten viciously.

Shocked by the fury of my reaction, I wrenched away, gasping.

Lauren followed, nuzzling the side of my face, her lips brushing over my ear. she was breathing hard, too, and the sound of the ice in her tumbler clinking against the glass skittered across my inflamed senses.

“I need to be inside you, Camila,” she whispered roughly. “I’m aching for you.”

My gaze fell to my drink on the table, my thoughts swirling around in my head, a clusterfuck of impressions and recollections and confusion. “How did you know?”

Her tongue traced the shell of my ear and I shivered. It felt like every cell in my body was straining toward her. Resisting her took an impossible amount of energy, draining me and making me feel tired.

“Know what?” she asked.

“What I like to drink? What Cary’s name is?”

she inhaled deeply, and then pulled away. Setting her drink down, she shifted on the sofa and drew a knee up onto the cushion between us so that she faced me directly. Her arm once again draped over the sofa back, her fingertips drawing circles on the curve of my shoulder. “You visited another of my clubs earlier. Your credit card popped and your drinks were recorded. And Cary Taylor is listed on the rental agreement for your apartment.”

The room spun. No way…My cell phone. My credit card. My fucking apartment. I couldn’t breathe. Between my mother and Lauren, I felt claustrophobic.

“Camila. Jesus. You’re white as a ghost.” sheshoved a glass into my hand. “Drink.”

It was the Stoli and cranberry. I pounded it, draining the tumbler. My stomach churned for a moment, then settled. “You own the building I live in?” I gasped.

“Oddly enough, yes.” she moved to sit on the table, facing me, her legs on either side of mine. she took my glass and set it aside; then warmed my chilled hands with her.

“Are you crazy, Lauren?”

Her mouth thinned. “Is that a serious question?”

“Yes. Yes, it is. My mom stalks me, too, and she sees a shrink. Do you have a shrink?”

“Not presently, but you’re driving me crazy enough to make that a possibility.”

“So this behavior isn’t normal for you?” My heart was pounding. I could hear the blood rushing past my eardrums. “Or is it?”

she shoved a hand through her hair, restoring order to the strands I’d mussed when we’d kissed. “I accessed information you voluntarily made available to me.”

“Not to you! Not for what you used it for! That has to violate some kind of privacy law.” I stared at her, more confused than ever. “Why would you do that?”

shehad the grace to look disgruntled at least. “So I can figure you out, damn it.”

“Why don’t you just ask me, Lauren? Is that so fucking hard for people to do nowadays?”

“It is with you.” she grabbed her drink off the table and tossed back most of it. “I can’t get you alone for more than a few minutes at a time.”

“Because the only thing you want to talk about is what you have to do to get laid!”

“Christ, Camila,” she hissed, squeezing my hand. “Keep your voice down!”

I studied her, taking in every line and plane of her face. Unfortunately, cataloging the details didn’t lessen my awe even a tiny bit. I was beginning to suspect I’d never get over being dazzled by his looks.

And I wasn’t alone; I’d seen how other women reacted around her. And she was crazy rich, which made even old, bald, and paunchy guys attractive. It was no wonder she was used to snapping her fingers and scoring an orgasm.

Her gaze darted over my face. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I’m thinking.”

“About what?” Her jaw tightened. “And I’m warning you, if you say anything about orifices, preapprovals, or seminal emissions, I won’t be held accountable for my actions.”

That almost made me smile. “I want to understand a few things, because I think it’s possible I’m not giving you enough credit.”

“I’d like to understand a few things myself,” she muttered.

“I’m guessing the ‘I want to fuck you’ approach has a high success rate for you.”

Lauren’s face smoothed into unreadable impassivity. “I’m not touching that one, Camila.”

“Okay. You want to figure out what it’s going to take to get me into bed. Is that why you’re here in this club right now? Because of me? And don’t say what you think I want to hear.”

Her gaze was clear and steady. “I’m here for you, yes. I arranged it.”

Suddenly the threads the street hawker had been wearing made sense. We’d been hustled by someone on Cross Industries payroll. “Did you figure that getting me here would get you laid?”

Her mouth twitched with suppressed amusement. “There’s always the hope, but I expected it would take more work than a chance meeting over drinks.”

“You’re right. So why do it? Why not wait until Monday lunch?”

“Because you’re out trolling. I can’t do anything about B.O.B., but I can stop you from picking up some asshole in a bar. You want to score, Camila, I’m right here.”

“I’m not trolling. I’m burning off tension after a stressful day.”

“You’re not the only one.” she fingered one of my silver chandelier earrings. “So you drink and dance when you’re tense. I work on the problem that’s making me tense in the first place.”

Her voice had softened, and it stirred an alarming yearning. “Is that what I am? A problem?”

“Absolutely.” But there was a hint of a smile around her lips.

I knew that was a lot of the appeal for her. Lauren Jauregui wouldn’t be where she was, at such a young age, if she took “no” gracefully. “What’s your definition of dating?”

A frown marred the space between her brows. “Lengthy social time spent with a woman during which we’re not actively fucking.”

“Don’t you enjoy the company of women?”

The frown turned into a scowl. “Sure, as long as there aren’t any exaggerated expectations or excessive demands on my time. I’ve found the best way to steer clear of those is to have mutually exclusive sexual relationships and friendships.”

There were those pesky “exaggerated expectations” again. Clearly, those were a sticking point with her. “So, you do have female friends?”

“Of course.” Her legs tightened around mine, capturing me. “Where are you going with this?”

“You segregate sex from the rest of your life. You separate it from friendship, work…everything.”

“I’ve got good reasons for doing that.”

“I’m sure you do. Okay, here are my thoughts.” It was difficult concentrating when I was so close to Lauren. “I told you I don’t want to date and I don’t. My job is priority number one and my personal life—as a single woman—is a close second. I don’t want to sacrifice any of that time on a relationship and there’s really not enough left over to squeeze in anything steady.”

“I’m right there with you.”

“But I like sex.”

“Good. Have it with me.” Her smile was an erotic invitation.

I shoved her shoulder. “I need a personal connection with the men I sleep with. It doesn’t have to be intense or deep, but sex needs to be more than an emotionless transaction for me.”

“Why?”

I could tell she wasn't being flippant. As bizarre as this conversation must be for her, Lauren was taking it seriously. “Call it one of my quirks, and I’m not saying that lightly. It pisses me off to feel used for sex. I feel devalued.”

“Can’t you look at it as you using me for sex?”

“Not with you.” she was too forceful, too demanding.

A sizzling, predatory glimmer sparked in her eyes as I bared my weakness for her.

“Besides,” I went on quickly, “that’s semantics. I need an equal exchange in my sexual relationships. Or to have the upper hand.”

“Okay.”

“Okay? You said that really quickly considering I’m telling you I need to combine two things you work so hard to avoid putting together.”

“I’m not comfortable with it and I don’t claim to understand, but I’m hearing you—it’s an issue. Tell me how to get around it.”

My breath left me in a rush. I hadn’t expected that. shewas a woman who wanted no complications with her sex and I was a woman who found sex complicated, but shewasn’t giving up. Yet.

“We need to be friendly, Lauren. Not best buds or confidants, but two people who know more about each other than their anatomy. To me, that means we have to spend time together when we’re not actively fucking. And I’m afraid we’ll have to spend time not actively fucking in places where we’re forced to restrain ourselves.”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing now?”

“Yes. And see, that’s what I mean. I wasn’t giving you credit for that. You should’ve done it in a less creepy manner”—I covered her lips with my fingers when she tried to cut me off—“but I admit you did try to set up a time to talk and I wasn’t helpful.”

she snipped my fingers with her teeth, making me yelp and yank my hand away.

“Hey. What was that for?”

she lifted my abused hand to her mouth and kissed the hurt, her tongue darting out to soothe. And incite.

In self-defense, I tugged my hand back to my lap. I still wasn’t completely confident that we’d worked things out. “Just so you know there are no exaggerated expectations—when you and I spend time together not actively fucking, I won’t think it’s a date. All right?”

“That covers it.” Lauren smiled and my decision to be with her solidified for me. Her smile was like lightning in the darkness, blinding and beautiful and mysterious, and I wanted her so badly it was physically painful.

Her hands slid down to cup the backs of my thighs. Squeezing gently, she tugged me just a little bit closer. The hem of my short black halter dress slipped almost indecently high and her gaze was riveted to the flesh he’d exposed. Her tongue wet his lips in an action so carnal and suggestive I could almost feel the caress on my skin.

Duffy began begging for mercy, her voice drifting up from the dance floor below. An unwelcome ache developed in my chest and I rubbed at it.

I’d already had enough, but I heard myself saying, “I need another drink.

[lmjupdates]

Lauren for Huffington Post

First up? Fifth Harmony’s Lauren Jauregui.

Lauren came into 2017 like a sledgehammer. The 20-year-old singer recently took on the Trump administration, calling for action against Trump’s immigration ban in an open letter. Lauren and the ladies of Fifth Harmony are also “Miss Movin’ On” after Camila Cabello’s exit from the group. The girl group completely slayed their first performance without Cabello at the People’s Choice Awards, and are reportedly working on a new album due later this year.

We chatted with Lauren about politics, sexuality and her go-to midnight snack. Enjoy!

This interview has been lightly edited and condensed for clarity.

What made you decide to speak out about Donald Trump's immigration ban in your open letter?

First of all, I resonate really heavily with immigration, period, because I am the granddaughter and daughter of immigrants. The fact that these are seven countries that have zero terrorist attacks on U.S. soil. Zero. It doesn't really make any sense to have banned them. All it does is propel xenophobia. It propels ignorance.

What do you think Fifth Harmony is doing to spread self-love, body positivity and embracing diversity?

I think just our existence [helps]. The four of us are women of color. You've got a whole spectrum of cultures right there. We're all very different body types, very different personalities, very different energies that we bring to the world. That, in itself, is sort of magnetic about us. I feel like our fans identify with us because they're like, "I'm her" or "I don't look like any of them, but I'm different like them."

What kind of role do you think music plays in today's political climate?

I think pop culture has always influenced society. That's one of the reasons why I'm so passionate about using my voice for this. Whether we want to or not, we influence kids. We influence people. We affect people's lives whether we want to or not.

Do you have a message to other LGBTQ people at this moment in history?

What I would tell everyone is: Don't lose your sense of individuality. Don't lose your love for yourself, and how much you've grown, and how far you've come. Do not allow this bullshit to change that or to take that away from you. You're still loved. We love you, we support you, we're here and we're all together in this. Nobody's going to take our voice away.

Is that why you chose to come out as bisexual in such a public way?

[In the open letter,] I was pointing out all the different ways I personally felt attacked, and that is a very big part of it. That's definitely part of who I am. I feel like people make such a big deal out of sexuality. It's so weird to me, because at the end of the day it's just about soul connection. It's just about who you connect with.

Do you have any advice for teens who are struggling to come out?

When you feel comfortable enough or when you find that person that makes you feel comfortable enough, just go into it and embrace it. Don't be scared of it. Don't allow yourself to be hard on yourself or feel like you're crazy or wrong. Especially with the administration that's coming in, they're really going to try to make you feel like you're crazy or you're not normal or you're wrong. You're going to hear so many people around you that are fueled by that -- fueled by the validity of their hatred. That's not on you. That's on them and their hearts. You just keep being you and stay true to yourself because that's what going to make you feel free.

Do you think because of this political climate, some of Fifth Harmony’s music will become more pointed or political?

I feel like there's going to be touches of it in our music because it's the reality of what we're going through and art is supposed to be reflective of the times. That's what art is. There's also going to be elements of what we usually do: empowerment and pressing forward. This is the first time that we get to write. It's a whole new vibe. It's really cool because we get to say shit that we really want to say.

Do you have advice for young fans who want to be politically active, but aren't old enough to vote?

There's so much you can do. You can donate to places, you can call your senators. That is so important right now. Get as involved as you can. Seek opportunities, make noise, you know?

What do you see in the future for Fifth Harmony as a foursome?

We're all just really at a place where we're exploring ourselves. We're getting older and we're exploring our songwriting right now. I think it's really cool though because the energy's really supportive and solid and just really great.

What’s the last song that you listened to on your phone?

Kehlani's album, dude. Like every single song.

If you could have dinner with any three people, dead or alive, who would they be?

John Lennon, Martin Luther King, Jr. and...Trump. I would like for the three of us to talk to him.

What's your go-to midnight snack?

Cheerios.

Pre-show ritual?

We all hold hands and we bow our heads and we pray.

Which Fifth Harmony song is your all time favorite?

"No Way" off of our last album.

What's your favorite TV show?

"Game of Thrones."

Which artist would you want to collaborate with?

Either J.Cole or Flume.

What's some advice for younger people chasing a career in the music industry that you wish someone had told you?

Read your contracts. Up and down, left and right. Hire five different lawyers to read it for you if you have to, but read your f**king contracts.

If you weren't a performer, what would you be?

A writer.

First drink you're gonna order when you turn 21?

Hopefully, I have some delicious frozen margarita-type thing.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/newsletters/the-tea

[richmegavideo]

XXXTentacion’s groundbreaking ? album set for re-release as Deluxe Box set

Commemorating a legacy that burns brighter by the day, the estate of XXXTentacion (pronounced ‘Eks-Eks-Eks-Ten-Tah-See-Ohn’ – estate celebrates the first anniversary of his groundbreaking sophomore album, ?, with a very special Deluxe Anniversary Edition available in 3-LP and 2-CD configurations on July 26 (subject to change). The official pre-order just went live today.

The 3-LP Deluxe Edition boasts the original track listing in addition to all of the instrumentals, A Ghetto Christmas Carol EP, and a bonus LP consisting of new original material, never-before-heard remixes, and unreleased voice memos culled from the ? sessions. A pull-out poster, booklet of personal photos detailing every stage of his life, and a special liner notes essay by award-winning music journalist Gerrick Kennedy complete the package.

Meanwhile, the 2-CD Deluxe Edition encompasses the original track listing, the instrumentals, A Ghetto Christmas Carol EP, and the bonus CD. It’s six-panel softpak offers a booklet of photos and the essay. You can find the full track listing below.

Last Friday, a countdown clock appeared on XXX’s Instagram, ticking down to the announcement of today’s big news and a capsule collection in honor of ?‘s anniversary.

The ten-piece collection, created by BRAVADO, offers six apparel items, a hat, two limited-edition lithographs, and a pendant. Get yours now, because these will sell out. The collection can be found HERE.

On March 16, 2018, ? arrived as XXXTentacion’s definitive masterpiece. Possible to liken to his Nevermind, All Eyez On Me, or Ready To Die, the 18-track opus spoke without filter to an entire era of listeners and translated their feelings, emotions, and thoughts on tape.

As a result, it bowed at #1 on the Billboard Top 200 and earned a platinum certification. Over one billion combined streams, “SAD!” garnered a platinum certification from the RIAA. “Moonlight” and “changes” went double platinum, “the remedy for a broken heart (why am I so in love)” and “Hope” achieved platinum status, and “I don’t even speak spanish lol” and “Numb” would be minted gold. HotNewHipHop claimed, “? features some of X’s most nuanced and impressive material to date,” and XXL said, “? is X’s most stimulating offering to date.”

The Deluxe Anniversary Edition of ? follows the success of 2018’s Skins. The latter became his first-week seller, third consecutive Top 3 debut on the chart in 15 months, and second consecutive #1 debut in only nine months.

The project made history as the first posthumous No. 1 album since Prince’s The Very Best of Prince re-entered the chart dated May 6, 2016 at No. 1, following his death on April 21 of that year. Lead-off single “BAD!” also just crossed platinum status.

? will go down in history as a classic. The Deluxe Anniversary Edition cements its influence and that of XXXTentacion forever.

XXXTentacion Deluxe Edition for ? Track Listing

Original Album

Side A

01 – Introduction (instructions) 02 – ALONE, PART 3 03 – Moonlight 04 – SAD! 05 – the remedy for a broken heart (why am I so in love) 06 – Floor 555 07 – NUMB 08 – infinity (888) [featuring Joey Bada$$] 09 – going down!

Side B

10 – Pain = BESTFRIEND [featuring Travis Barker] 11 – $$$ [with Matt OX] 12 – love yourself (interlude) 13 – SMASH! [featuring PnB Rock] 14 – I don’t even speak spanish lol [featuring Rio Santana, Judah and Carlos Andrez] 15 – changes 16 – Hope 17 – schizophrenia 18 – before I close my eyes

Instrumentals

Side A

01 – ALONE, PART 3 02 – Moonlight 03 – SAD! 04 – the remedy for a broken heart (why am I so in love) 05 – Floor 555 06 – NUMB 07 – infinity (888) 08 – going down! 09 – Pain = BESTFRIEND

Side B

01 – $$$ 02 – love yourself (interlude) 03 – SMASH! 04 – I don’t even speak spanish lol 05 – changes 06 – Hope 07 – Schizophrenia 08 – before I close my eyes

Bonus Content

Side A

01 – Nocturne (a tribute to XXXTENTACION by Yoko Shimomura) 02 – Hope (freestyle) 03 – Jah on drums 04 – NUMB (acoustic) 05 – #PROUDCATOWNERREMIX (featuring Rico Nasty) 06 – A GHETTO CHRISTMAS CAROL 07 – hate will never win 08 – UP LIKE AN INSOMNIAC (freestyle) 09 – Red Light! 10 – Indecision

Side B

01 – voice memo 1 – ALONE, PART 3 02 – voice memo 2 – SAD! 03 – voice memo 3 – Moonlight 04 – voice memo 4 – the remedy for a broken heart 05 – voice memo 5 – going down! 06 – voice memo 6 – changes 07 – voice memo 7 – before I close my eyes 08 – voice memo 8 – SAD! video concept

About XXXTentacion

XXXTentacion remains the voice of his generation. In 2017, he unleashed his debut 17, which bowed at #2 on the Billboard Top 200 and went RIAA platinum. Less than six months later, his second album, ?, bowed at #1 on the Billboard Top 200, went platinum, yielded 5.2 billion global streams, and achieved sales of 3.2 million global equivalent albums. Among its stacked track listing, the record boasted “SAD!” (4x-platinum), “Moonlight” (2x-platinum), and “changes” (2x-platinum). In 2018, the BET Hip Hop Awards crowned him “Best New Hip Hop Artist” as 17 earned “Favorite Album – Soul/R&B” at the American Music Awards. He can count Kendrick Lamar, Kanye West, Nicki Minaj, Camila Cabello, and Academy® Award winner Jamie Foxx amongst his supporters and admirers as well. His influence and impact only continue to grow.

Be sure to visit the official site, XXXTentacion.com.

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