#preparing mentally to get exactly zero answers to any of my burning questions

[egophiliac]

GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY, THE NEXT BOOK 7 UPDATE FOR THE JP SERVER IS SET FOR MARCH 1ST.

HOW WE FEELIN LADS!?!?!

AHHHHHHHH NOOO I'M NOT READY, I thought we'd be getting the fourth anniversary first and then Sebek's birthday and then maybe some more episode 7, I didn't -- I didn't think it'd be Friday --

oh god and they're rerunning the story cards, they didn't say this was the final part but it feels like...maybe the penultimate chapter? could the end of episode 7 finally be looming in the distance?! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO

[thebladeblaster]

Digimon Tamer ZERO (ver.2) Chapter 1 The Digimon Phenomenon (part 3)

Misaki lowered her book for a second as she heard their conversation.

“Considering its attitude The Blaster probably spoiled it. Wait...Knight...Blaster...affection...”, Izaki suddenly gasped as he realized something.

Miwa nodded and then put his pointer finger over his mouth.

“What’s with you two?”, Morikawa questioned obliviously.

“It’s nothing.”, Miwa replied with a coy smile.

At Aichi’s house...

Aichi had just put on his white jacket from before and prepared to leave.

“Hopefully, I can find something this time...”, Aichi thought.

His V pet suddenly beeped as a strange circular symbol appeared on his V pet screen.

“The digital world needs your help please answer our call!”, A feminine voice came from the V pet.

“What’s this some sort of event?”, Aichi questioned.

“After the defeat of Lucemon many years ago the other demon lords returned and took over the digital world. There is not many tamers strong enough to face them. So, we urgently ask for you to receive our call.”, the voice continued as yes and no options showed up on his V pet.

“I have time. Okay, I’ll see what this is about real quick.”, Aichi said before clicking yes.

“Take the 5:45 Shibuya bound train from Jiyuugaoka Station.”, was displayed on his v-pet in text.

“Jiyuugaoka Station? Why does it want me to go there?”, Aichi questioned.

Aichi looked briefly at the block. He had about 20 minutes to get there. He looked down at the v-pet still confused. He could just ignore it but...he didn’t know what but had this strange feeling...like he really should go. Aichi sighed not knowing exactly why he headed there despite having much more pressing matters like a planet destroying alien demon thing within him.

“Bye Mom.”, Aichi waved goodbye to his mother before he left through the front door.

“Don’t stay out too long, sweetie.”, his mom replied waving goodbye.

Aichi continued to the destination first walking. He didn’t understand why but he felt his heart beating against his chest increasingly rapidly as he started walking faster. Aichi sweated nervously as he continued to speed up.

“What’s with this feeling?! It’s just like the feeling I had not long before everything with Link Joker started.”, Aichi thought, hardly noticing he was now sprinting.

Aichi noticed this sweat dropping as he passed a car in speed. Aichi promptly slowed down hoping no one noticed that.

“Wow, that was really bad man. If your trying to hide what’s wrong with you you’re failing miserably.”, Imaginary Plane Dragon said in a mocking tone.

“Darn it! Darn it! Darn it! I keep forgetting about Link Joker’s extends beyond cardfights!”, Aichi thought, panicking and mentally hitting himself.

He did not know the extent to this thing’s power. He mentally sighed having a brief flashback. He was in the Cardfight club room with Misaki, Naoki, and Shingo. A cardfight had briefly finished and he had a panicked expression. The others looked at him in confusion. He shook his head waving away the memory.

He came to a stop as he heard...a explosion?! Aichi was beyond confused looking over to the station. He gawked as from out the smoke emerged a large blue t-rex-like dinosaur. It had some sort of organic armor over its head with horns. It had black stripes along its body and yellow eyes. Countless people ran for their lives fleeing from the debris.

Aichi rubbed his making sure this was not some sort of illusion.

“Holy crap!!! There’s a real life kaiju attacking Japan!!!”, Aichi thought.

“What the heck!!! How did these guys show up on Earth so easily?!?! We needed a real convoluted plan pull that off! And this stupid dumb dino did it easily!! Mind asking him his secret?”, Imaginary Plane Dragon said as Aichi sweat dropped shaking his head no.

“Now that I think about it that dinosaur looks like Greymon but blue. But Digimon can’t be real right?”, Aichi thought.

“You thought the same thing about Cray too.”, Imaginary Plane Dragon replied sarcastically.

“Well...I...”, Aichi trailed off knowing he had a point.

Aichi flinched as the BlackGreymon turned to him.

“Nova Blast!”, BlackGreymon called out as it shot a large blue flame ball from its mouth in his direction.

“Run stupid! We can’t destroy the universe if you die!”, Imaginary Plane Dragon said.

“I’m not doing that!!!”, Aichi thought as he ran from the fiery blast.

He suddenly heard BlackGreymon let out a pained cry before he turned around. He gasped in shock seeing the fiery blast had been cut in two and BlackGreymon had crashed against the station as if it was hit by something. It grunted as it started to get up looking for whatever struck it. That’s when Aichi looked down to see another Digimon which was much smaller than BlackGreymon. It was light purple reptilian Digimon wearing kendo gear and holding a wooden sword. The gear covered most of its body besides it’s legs. You couldn’t even see it’s face, only glowing gold orbs which were likely it’s eyes.

“It’s a Kotemon. Just like...there’s no way.”, Aichi thought.

“Rahhh! How did a weak little Digimon like you knock me down?”, BlackGreymon questioned getting back up on its feet.

“Heh, your not strong. All you have is unnecessary size that slows you down. It’s no wonder when your species becomes mega if drops most of its size.”, the Kotemon replied snarkily.

Aichi tilted his head seeming to recognize Kotemon’s noticeable attitude. BlackGreymon growled at Kotemon in fury.

“We’ll see about that before I turn you into a greasy smear!!!”, BlackGreymon growled as it charged at Kotemon.

Aichi gasped as BlackGreymon approached and Kotemon entered a kendo stance. Aichi from behind Kotemon noticed near BlackGreymon’s stomach it had been damaged by the rubble.

“To bring it down Kotemon needs to strike there.”, Aichi thought, not noticing his v-pet glowing.

Kotemon focused on that spot and started running towards BlackGreymon. It raised its wooden sword and struck BlackGreymon in the weak point Aichi saw. Aichi gasped in surprise wondering if Kotemon saw that weak spot too. BlackGreymon gasped clutching its stomach growling. It opened its mouth and prepared another blast.

“Kotemon move!”, Aichi shouted out.

“He’s about to shoot another Nova Blast!”, Aichi thought worriedly as v-pet glowed again.

Kotemon just barely dodged the Mega Flame which burned off some of Kotemon’s kendo gear. Kotemon had jumped back over closer to where he was. The top parts of its kendo gear had been destroyed revealing half of its face, the top of its arm, and its upper right body. He saw it was indeed reptilian like he expected. It had two horns on it’s head and golden eyes. It’s underbelly and the its jaw was black. It seemed to have some strange golden markings on its face, arm, and torso.

“Your not getting any closer BlackGreymon.”, Kotemon said.

“I won’t let some rookie stop me from fulfilling my mission!”, BlackGreymon roared.

“Mission?”, Aichi questioned.

“You won’t live long enough to find out human!”, BlackGreymon said as it fired out another fiery blast.

Kotemon swiped the blast in half when it approached him.

“Grr! Why are you even protecting this little human?!”, BlackGreymon questioned.

Aichi looked at Kotemon curiously who faced BlackGreymon.

“He’s my tamer obviously.”, Kotemon replied.

“Tamer? Me? Wait that means...”, Aichi trailed off looking at his v-pet seeing a sprite of Kotemon fighting BlackGreymon.

Aichi gasped in surprise seeing the fight before him was playing out on his v-pet.

“Then did you really hear what I was thinking?”, Aichi questioned.

“Right. I heard your commands loud and clear through the v-pet.”, Kotemon replied as Aichi sweat dropped.

“He didn’t hear Link Joker did he? I hope not.”, Aichi thought nervously.

“I don’t know what your planning, but I won’t let you go around terrorizing my world!”, Aichi said facing BlackGreymon.

Aichi looked at his v-pet noticing the strange symbol had reappeared. Aichi’s eyes briefly glowed with a rainbow spiral and a light blue aura appeared around him. They all looked surprised as Aichi’s v-pet let out a bright light. The light enveloped Kotemon.

“Kotemon digivolve to DrakeGladimon!!!”

Out from the light appeared a slightly taller figure clad in knight armor. Unlike normal Gladimon it’s body shape was more similar to Knightmon but not as tall. It had a brown vest with brown straps. It’s legs were dragon-like and clad in armor like the rest of its body. It’s boots and gauntlets had claws. It’s helmet was stylized like a wyvern with horns and it’s eyes were red. It’s helmet had the orange fur at the end like normal Gladimon. It now had two real metal broadswords with a golden handle. A light purple tail stuck out from its armor having bits of armor on it as well.

Aichi’s v-pet had changed as well now being a small light blue device with blue buttons and a grey antenna. It had strange markings on it.

“What?! How did he suddenly digivolve like that? Digivolution should take years?!”, BlackGreymon questioned.

“Let’s go! DrakeGladimon!”, Aichi said and DrakeGladimon nodded.

“Yes master! Whirlwind Wheel Rush!”, DrakeGladimon replied.

DrakeGladimon spun itself like a tornado striking BlackGreymon. BlackGreymon gasped in pain as in was struck by DrakeGladimon’s dual blades. Aichi v-pet had a voice come from it again.

“You must now purify it.”, the voice ordered.

“How do I do that?”, Aichi asked.

“Aim your former v-pet towards the fallen Digimon.”, she ordered.

Aichi did just that and a light shot out of the once v-pet enveloping BlackGreymon. When it cleared some dark energy came out of it which disappeared. It then instantly began to shrink into a much smaller orange dinosaur and green eyes. It had became Agumon.

“Woah, what happened? What’s this place?”, Agumon questioned, looking around confused.

“Uhh...this is Earth.”, Aichi said as he approached Agumon before DrakeGladimon quickly grabbed Aichi out of the way of a massive figure which suddenly appeared behind Agumon.

“Agumon!”, Aichi called out, paling as a massive foot squashed the rookie Digimon.

Agumon dispersed into pixels which was absorbed by the massive figure. The figure was very buff and green. It had skull-like armor and a massive bone sword. It had red markings and white hair.

“Stupid weakling. He couldn’t even do his job right. You’ve been relieved from your position in the Ebony Squadron, BlackGreymon.” , the big Digimon said.

The massive Digimon held a grey train with yellow horns. It had a single green eyes and was very roughed up. That train wasn’t just a train it was a Trailmon! It threw the injured Trailmon directly at them. It laughed after the Trailmon impacted causing dust to fly everywhere and the ground to tremble.

It stopped laughing as it flinched. It felt a extremely dark malevolent presence. It looked around for where the presence was coming from.

“Is one of the demon lords here!?!?”, the skull armored Digimon questioned.

“You!”, the skull armored Digimon looked over to the source of the voice.

As the smoke cleared the skull armored Digimon could see glowing red eyes. It gawked as it saw that the Trailmon never hit the ground. It was being held by a Digimon. The Digimon was knight clad in dragon-like armor which resembled Knightmon. It’s helmet had horns and it had red eyes. It had a visible tail with pieces of armor and metal spikes down it. It had purple wings and legs like DrakeGladimon. It had spikes on its shoulder armor and bits of gold on its armor. It had a massive shield and great sword strapped to its back.

“WyvernKnightmon, it’s a extremely rare species of Knightmon. This should be fun.”, the skull Digimon said.

Next to WyvernKnightmon was Aichi a faint red and black aura appeared around him briefly.

“I can’t believe you killed your own comrade!”, Aichi said as he glared at the skull armored Digimon.

“Comrade or not that is the law of monsters. The weak must die.”, the skull armored Digimon said.

Aichi clutched his chest trying to contain Link Joker within him.

“I have to calm down this anger isn’t like me but...”, Aichi thought, remembering Agumon being squashed.

It didn’t even know what it was doing it must have been controlled by something. The idea of a innocent little creature being controlled like that and killed. It was beyond horrible. It was the kind of thing that definitely sadden him, but he didn’t get angry often at all. However, he could feel Link Joker’s presence getting more powerful twisting the sadness he felt into rage.

“Take him down, WyvernKnightmon. Aim for unarmored his chest.”, Aichi thought pointing the former v-pet to WyvernKnightmon.

“Berserk Tempest Sword!”, WyvernKnightmon called out as it flew at the skull armored Digimon.

It raised its own massive blade to block WyvernKnightmon much to its shock its own blade shattered upon impact with WyvernKnightmon’s.

“That’s impossible!!!”, the skull armored Digimon said as it was sent flying back into the abandoned station.

Aichi got onto WyvernKnightmon’s back and flew into the abandoned station. In the station more Digimon were inside most of them were champion and ultimate. They blasted WyvernKnightmon with there attacks but WyvernKnightmon created a barrier of wind blowing their attacks back. He charged at the skull armored Digimon and delivered another fierce slash with its sword at it chest.

“Damn. It’s just a ultimate Digimon. How is it this strong?”, the skull armored Digimon questioned.

A green goblin Digimon ran over to it. It had white hair and blue eyes. It held a club and wore black loincloth.

“Commander Titamon!”, the club wielding Digimon called out.

Titamon struggled up looking over to the approaching Digimon. As soon as it came near it grabbed its head and crushed it. It dispersed into particles that were absorbed by Titamon. Titamon now seemed to be a bit healed from fighting WyvernKnightmon. The other Digimon flinched as Titamon looked over to them.

“Give me your commander your power you pathetic weaklings! Soul Core Attack!”, Titamon commanded slashing its own troops with its blade and absorbing their data.

“Stop it! Now!”, Aichi said as he rode towards Titamon on WyvernKnightmon.

WyvernKnightmon slashed at Titamon who blocked with its newly restored blade. It was pushed back into the railway tunnel. However this time it’s blade wasn’t broken. Aichi looked rather confused as they went down the railway tunnel and the area around them completely changed. He could see a unfamiliar forest nearby a station with a strange track. White almost ghost shaped Digimon flew by. As they passed through WyvernKnightmon glowed again changing its appearance once again.

“WyvernKnightmon digivolve to Dynasmon!”

It’s blade disappeared and Titamon laughed cockily as it slashed at Dynasmon. Dynasmon threw a punch that completely shattered it’s sword and as it hit its face completely shattered its skull helmet. Titamon crashed into the forest below and the flying Digimon dispersed to avoid getting hit.

Aichi blinked completely stunned after regaining control.

“Oh crap, where am I?”, Aichi questioned.

“You are in the digital world, my lord the Blaster.”, Dynasmon replied and Aichi let out a sheepish chuckle.

“My real name is Sendou Aichi and you don’t have to call me lord. You can just call me Aichi.”, Aichi replied.

“Great, because you cried over a baby dinosaur we have been isekaied.”, Imaginary Plane Dragon said.

Aichi pinched himself to make sure this hadn’t all been some sort of bizarre dream.

Chapter 1 end

[hystericalweenie]

Just Another Day at the Office Series - New On the Job

George MacKay x Reader Series

Part Four: The Misunderstanding

Masterlist

Summary: Y/f/n Y/l/n was job searching, looking for a new place to work as an escape to her, then, current job; she’d been denied every pitch she had, yet she worked her ass off with zero recognition. Writing was her passion and her dream job laid in the hands of a magazine company in the city. Will the combination of her sexual frustration and her competitive nature cause her to risk her biggest dream for a blue eyed coworker?

a/n: I have absolutely no personal experience in magazine/journalism career, so the information in this fic will be provided with the knowledge I have conducted from research. With that being said, please don’t be mad if this is not accurate!!! Sorry this is so late, I spent so much time on this part and I wanted it to be as perfect as possible.

Warnings: This is a slow burn fic, their relationship won’t happen in one night, so if you’re not into that, check out some of the beautifully written imagines that you can most likely find under the george mackayxreader tag. I might eventually write some of my own too :P At least one person’s saying “fuck” and there’s some sexual! tension! up! in! here! There’s some SMUT up in here y’all and mention of fem!masturbation.

I woke up hyperventilating and sweating; my hair was soaked, sticking to the nape of my neck and my pajamas were clinging to my skin. Bree knocked on my door, before slowly opening it. Her eyebrows furrowed at the state I was in, as she leant against the door frame and crossed her arms.

“Did you just masturbate?” 

My eyes widened at the blunt question, though due to how sweaty and distraught I looked, I wasn’t surprised...her assumption wasn’t completely wrong though.

“I think I just,” I began, still breathing heavily. “I think I just orgasmed in my sleep.”

She looked at me with her intelligent hazel eyes and I knew exactly what she was going to say.

“Did you have a wet dream about George?”

I did. I had the most visual, raunchy wet dream one could have. It was full of noises, noises from him, and it felt so real. I looked at her with guilty eyes, silently answering her question. 

“God, Y/n, you need to fuck this man already!” she exclaimed, throwing her hands up. “Even your subconscious is fantasizing about his dick!”

My cheeks flushed in embarrassment, as I rubbed my eyes in distress.

“We’ve only known each other for a week, Bree,” I complained, pinching the bridge of my nose.

“Well, two nights ago I fucked a guy that I only knew for two hours,” she chided, a playful smirk on her lips.

I rolled my eyes at her, as she began to twirl a piece of her blond hair between her fingers.

“I don’t do one night stands, you know that,” I insisted. 

She groaned, exiting my bedroom.

“Don’t knock it ‘till you try it!” she called. “And take a damn shower!”

I took her advice and hopped into the shower, noticing that it was still fairly early and I had many hours before I’d have to be at George’s. 

George.

My mind wandered to my dream, and I couldn’t stop myself from rubbing my thighs together at the sudden discomfort between my legs. As I started the shower, the squeak of the nozzle reminded me of my moans in the dream. I shook my head, trying to focus on the water as I undressed myself and hopped in. I squeezed some shampoo into my hand and lathered it onto my head, using my fingers to massage my scalp.

He tangled his fingers into my hair and pulled it back, forming a makeshift ponytail as he drilled into me from behind. 

I lathered the soap onto my washcloth and rubbed it onto my body. 

His hands travelled down my back before resting on my hips, his nails digging into my skin, guiding me, as I rode him.

I leant against the shower wall as I bent down to shave my legs.

He pinned me against his bedroom wall, pounding into me while he held me up, my legs weak and quivering as his dick brushed the pleasure spot inside of me.

I brought the razor to my heat, careful as I strategically shaved.

I screamed in pleasure as his tongue lapped at my clit, two fingers pumping into me, my fingers tangling in his hair. 

I couldn’t stop myself from masturbating at this point, hoping that the shower running would be enough noise to cover up my actions. As I hopelessly pumped my fingers inside of me, imagining that George had been performing this on me instead, my jaw went slack and my breathing hitched as I hit my climax quickly. I rode out my high, collapsing on the tub floor before turning the water off. I forced myself up and dried myself off, making sure to towel myself off down there after the mess I’d just made. I wrapped both my hair and my body into towels and exited the bathroom, my legs weak and sore as I walked. 

I slipped a pair of leggings and a big hoodie onto myself, towel drying my hair and entering the kitchen. I gathered my sheets and tossed them in the washer machine, not wanting to sleep on the sheets I’d sweat through. Bree sat on one of the kitchen chairs, her knees pulled up to her chest, as her eyes ran down the page of Essence, which I’d subscribed to as a way of showing my own personal appreciation for the brand. I sighed at the smell of coffee, happily walking over to the freshly brewed pot in the kitchen. I got my favorite mug from one of the cabinets and poured myself some of the morning bliss, before adding cream and sugar. I took a seat next to her, holding the mug to my mouth as I blew on the steaming liquid in hopes of it cooling down.

“Have you gotten to write any articles yet?” she queried, bringing her own mug to her lips.

I shook my head. “No, but I get to start pitching ideas this week.”

She looked away from the magazine and faced me.

“Have you thought of anything yet?”

“No,” I groaned, bringing my palms to my face in distress.

With everything that had been happening with George, I’d completely forgotten about the pitch.

“Hmm..” Bree hummed, eyes looking up in thought.

My phone vibrated on the small wooden table next to my mug. I picked it up, my lips curling as soon as I saw that the notification was from George.

George: *insert red wine emoticon*

Me: You can’t just send the emoji?

George: Don’t have ‘em, love.

George: I’m an old man.

Me: You must be very wise then.

Me: What was the prohibition like?

George: It was tough, but it was a good lesson for the Americans. It would’ve come in handy two nights ago, huh?

Me: STILL never going to let that down?

George: Never.

“What are you giggling about?”

She snatched my phone before I could respond, scrolling through the messages, her mouth forming an “o”.

“Give it back,” I nagged, reaching out for the device while she pushed my arm away.

“He’s so flirting with you,” she observed, finally returning the phone back to my hands.

“How can you be so sure?” I asked, reading through his messages again, as if I had missed something.

“He calls you ‘love’!” she brought her mug to her lips before setting it back down. “And, he always starts the conversation, which obviously means he wants to talk to you!”

I rolled my eyes, not wanting to consider her thoughts just yet. I didn't want to catch feeling for George this early, especially when I barely knew him, hell, I knew his best friend’s personality better than his. Besides, I didn’t want to get my hopes up in case he’d end up being an asshole; I wasn’t prepared to get heartbroken again like my last serious relationship. 

“Let’s change the subject,” I suggested, taking a big gulp of my coffee and pushing my phone further away from us on the table.

“Fine,” she agreed. “I got sick this morning from taking Plan B, and my boobs feel like tender melons right now.” She looked down at her chest, cupping her breasts over her t-shirt and groaning in pain. 

“Wear a condom, next time,” I reminded her.

She rolled her eyes.

“We were drunk, neither of us remembered whether we used a condom or not,” she admitted, closing the magazine and tossing it across the table.

I finished off my coffee, before my stomach began growling, reminding me that I hadn’t had any breakfast yet.

“Want to go get some bagels at the cafe across the street?” I offered, staring back at her frown.

“No, thanks, I still feel nauseous as fuck.” She brought her hands to her stomach, pouting her lips. 

The rest of the morning and afternoon, I’d ended up getting her soup and we spent hours cuddling on the sofa whilst watching all of the movies that’d sat on our Netflix list, unwatched. When three o'clock rolled around, I began getting ready. 

Similar to the outfit I wore to the bar, I dressed in a pair of jeans and a top that revealed just enough cleavage. I didn’t do anything to my hair, but I didn’t stop myself from applying some makeup. After perfecting my appearance and asking my roommate about a hundred times, “are you sure I look okay?” I was ready to head out.

3:46 pm, Me: What’s your address?

I sat on the sofa impatiently as I waited for his response. As a few minutes passed by, I started tapping my foot. 

“Relax,” Bree reminded me.

Her eyes looked concerned, as she observed my impatience. I nodded, taking a few deep breaths, and focusing on the television. As four o'clock rolled around, I began to get nervous. What if he’d forgotten about our plans? I brushed that thought off, remembering his texts from earlier that day, so that couldn’t have been true. I wondered if he was getting ready, or maybe he just didn't have his phone on him. Curse my tendency to overthink.

As more time passed, I could feel Bree’s worried eyes on me. I tried to distract myself with the television, but I could practically hear a mental clock ticking and I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Should I text him again?” I blurted out.

She looked at me, chewing on her lip.

“Make sure your text delivered, first,” she suggested.

“It did,” I barked, a little too aggressively. 

Her bushy eyebrows furrowed as she observed my frustrated, impatient state. I looked at her apologetically.

“I’m sorry,” I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose.

She scooted closer to me, rubbing my back sympathetically.

“George doesn't seem like the kind of guy to stand a woman up,” she reassured me. “He doesn’t even have emojis! I’m sure he just hasn't checked his phone.”

“You’re right,” I agreed, the tension in my body relaxing slightly at her words.

My phone vibrated, causing me to jump and immediately check the notification.

4:32 pm, George: Something came up. I can’t do tonight anymore. Sorry.

My heart sank to my stomach at the words, my lips parting in shock. In confusion to my reaction, Bree leant over to read the message over my shoulder. Her hand immediately returned to my back; even she wasn't sure what to say. I felt hollow for a moment, before shutting the device off and tossing it onto the small coffee table in front of the sofa. 

“I don’t know why I’m so upset right now,” I admitted, blinking back the tears that threatened to escape. “I don’t know how I expected this to go.”

Bree sighed, her arm wrapping around me and pulling me into her. 

“Honey,” she cooed. “You liked him, it’s okay to admit it.”

Did I like him? Even if I did, what was the point of coming to terms with it now? 

“I don't like him,” I lied. “I’m just upset that he stood me up.”

Bree knew I was lying, so she didn’t say anything. I pulled myself off of her and changed out of my clothes, back into my leggings and hoodie. I wiped the makeup off, realizing there was no point in looking presentable. I made my way into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of red wine and opened up my laptop; I decided that if the universe gave me this extra time, I’d better make the best of it. I signed into my documents and began scrolling through some articles, though this time, trying to find inspiration for pitches.

As I sipped on my red wine and typed away, I was coming up with some ideas left and right. Why you and your roommate might not be getting along (Hint: you guys don’t have compatible signs) - I could use my own experience with my roommate, and astrology being a well-liked subject in Essence articles, this gave me a good chance at wooing Connie over. Are vinyls worth buying? Aesthetic vs Reality - I could use a popular trend to my advantage whilst giving the readers my own advice. Trying CBD oil for my anxiety - I could conduct a classic journalist experiment, while touching on anxiety and trying a trend. 

With so many pros, I decided to stick with the CBD oil experiment as my pitch, but I had my two backups if Connie were to dislike it. Proud of my use of time, I closed my laptop and applied a calming face mask in preparation for the next day. I brought my glass of red wine to my bedroom, as I laid in bed on my phone with the face mask on my face. I scrolled through my socials, noticing that Dean had requested me on Facebook. Well, if George won’t work out... I accepted his request, before scrolling through his own page.

Inevitably, there were photos of him and George, posing with some other guy, whom was unfamiliar, on his page. There were pictures of them at bars, going hiking, and cooking. I closed the app, pretending that I didn't feel butterflies when I saw George’s smile in the photos. 

I distracted myself with some reruns of Friends that night, before making my bed with my newly clean sheets, which would guarantee a good night’s sleep. With a definitely-not-regular dose of melatonin, I was finally forced asleep.

Buzz buzz.

I tossed and turned.

Buzz buzz. 

Probably a Twitter notification.

Buzz buzz.

I groaned, rubbing my eyes and picking up my phone. 

2 missed calls from George.

12:43 am, George: Are you awake?

1:02 am, George: I need to see you right now.

1:13 am, George: If you’re seeing this, I’m at your apartment building. Can you please come let me in?

What the fuck?! I quickly sprung up from my bed with my phone in my hand. Bree, if I get kidnapped tonight, you better come fucking save me. I slipped my feet into the first pair of shoes I could find, thankfully being my slippers, before grabbing my keys and sprinting out the door. 

I ran down the stairs so quickly without any fear that I’d fall and break something, because all I wanted to know was if George was okay; my feet were barely touching the steps as I raced down them at such a quick pace. Once I finally reached the entrance to the building, I pushed the doors open with everything in me, the cold air immediately causing goosebumps to rise on my skin. I looked around helplessly, trying to find this damn man.

There he was.

He sat on the sidewalk, head faced down, but I knew that hair anywhere. I slowly walked toward him, as his figure became much clearer. I could begin to make out his outfit, which consisted of a black short-sleeved shirt and jeans. I could tell by the fact that he wasn’t wearing a jacket meant that he hadn’t planned on being outside, due to the cold temperature. His hair looked disheveled, not falling into its usual perfect waves. His face was buried in the palms of his hands, the veins from the backs of his hands traveling up to his arms; I remembered noticing that feature when he’d driven me home. 

I took a seat beside him, subconsciously putting my hand onto his back and rubbing wide circles. I watched him, waiting for him to release his face from his hands. After a few minutes of silence, just sitting in New York noise, he brought his face from his hands and turned to me, revealing a bruised eye, a bloody nose, and a split lip. I brought my hand to my mouth in shock, as my eyes examined the wounds on his face. He stared at me with eyes that looked scared–this terrified me. 

I grabbed his hand, suddenly noticing that his knuckles were bruised. I looked at him with worried eyes, before standing up and leading him into the building. We walked up the stairs in silence, the only noises being my own thoughts that were somehow louder than the echoes of our footsteps. Once we’d finally made it to my door, I opened it quietly, careful not to awaken my roommate. I turned the lights on, as I then led him to the small bathroom. I patted the toilet seat cover, gesturing for him to sit down. He silently sat down, as I opened the medicine cabinet above the sink and scavenged for disinfectants and bandages. Once I’d gotten all the necessary materials out, I aligned them on the sink and started with some hydrogen peroxide. I applied the liquid to a cotton swab, carefully dabbing at the cut on his lip.

After cleaning that up, I grabbed a washcloth from the closet and ran it under the faucet, soaking it in warm water. I rung it out, before carefully wiping the dry blood underneath and around his nose. As I strategically tended to his wounds, I could feel his stare on me, watching as I took care of him. 

“Thank you,” he professed, his voice raspy and dry.

“Just returning the favor,” I looked down at him, referring to the night he’d taken care of me.

There was silence after I’d spoken. Maybe he believed me, that I was only taking care of him because I had owed him a favor.

“I got into a fight,” he admitted, his accent even more accentuated with the combination of the raspiness. 

I chewed on my lip, trying to focus on cleaning his face.

“I can tell,” I stated, keeping my eyes on his wounds.

“I don’t usually get into fights,” he elaborated.

I dropped the washcloth onto the sink, returning my attention to the conversation.

“Then, what sparked this?”

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair, reminding me of his bruised knuckles. I carefully picked up his hand after drenching more cotton swabs with the hydrogen peroxide, and meticulously cleaned the small cuts.

“My friend, Andrew. He’s Dean’s roommate, he uhm,” he began, stuttering. “He had an overdose today, at approximately three. Dean called me and I drove to the hospital as quickly as I could.”

I wondered if Andrew was the unfamiliar face I’d seen in the Facebook photos on Dean’s profile earlier. 

“He was out, cold for a little while. They weren’t sure he was going to make it,” he confessed, eyes starting to tear up. “Dean and I were in the waiting room for hours, just waiting for anything. The doctor still wouldn’t let us see him, and that’s when I went mad. I punched the poor bloke, Dean had to fucking tackle me out of the hospital to calm down. Bloody bastard got a few hits on me, trying to get me off of the poor man,” he chuckled softly, pointing to his black eye.

I smiled a little, tossing the cotton swabs and looking down at him as he continued, giving him my full attention.

“Once they finally let us see him, we finally understood what they didn’t want us to see,” his voice cracked, and I could see the sadness in his eyes as he recalled the memory. “He wasn’t in his right mind, he hasn’t been in his right mind for a while, but it was different this time. It was really scary, Y/n.”

A tear rolled down his cheek, as his bottom lip trembled. 

“I didn’t know what to do, we were both mortified,” he croaked.

I knelt down, bringing my hands to his cheeks, gently. My thumbs wiped at the tears that were spilling from his eyes. I hated seeing him like this, so vulnerable and broken.

“I’m here,” I assured him, staring into his blue eyes that looked deeper than a thundering, stormy ocean now. 

He pulled me into him, wrapping his arms around me as he sobbed into the crook of my neck. I could feel my heart breaking in this moment. How could I have been so mad at him earlier? How could I have been so misunderstanding of the situation? My fingers tangled themselves in his hair as I attempted to soothe him. 

“I’m sorry,” he muttered into my shoulder, his voice muffled.

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” I reassured him softly, running my fingers down.

He pulled away, revealing his eyes puffy and red, his nose and lips swollen as well. I frowned, grabbing a new washcloth and wetting it with cold water this time, dabbing at his face, in attempt to calm the puffiness whilst wiping his face of tears. 

“Do you want to sleep here tonight?” I asked, removing the washcloth from his face and setting it next to the other one I’d used. 

He nodded silently, watching me as I cleaned up the mess I’d made. I put all the materials back into the cabinet, leaving the washcloths in the sink to deal with the next day. He stood up from the toilet seat cover, and followed me to my bedroom. I turned the lamp on beside my bed, as he entered the room slowly behind me.

“Do you have my uhm,” he began, his voice cracking.

“Yes!”

I knew exactly what he was going to say before it left his mouth; I quickly grabbed his sweater and joggers from my closet. I handed them to him, turning around to give him some privacy. As I heard the motion of him undressing, the reality set in that George was in my bedroom and I thanked the heavens above that I’d washed my sheets earlier that day. 

“You can turn around.”

I did as he said, and I couldn’t stop myself from staring at him. It was nice, seeing him in the clothes that I, myself, had been wearing not too long ago; the fabric clung to his figure perfectly, contrasting to the oversized fit on my body. 

“Do you need anything else?” I questioned sincerely.

He shook his head.

“Okay, I’ll be in the living room if you need anything,” I concluded, making my way out of the bedroom.

“Wait,” he objected.

I stopped in my tracks, turning to face him in confusion.

“C-can you uhm,” he stuttered, scratching the back of his neck. “Can you sleep with me?”

My eyes widened and I swore my jaw had almost dropped. 

“If you don't want to, that’s fine–” he babbled, before I interrupted him.

“I don’t mind, George.”

I closed the bedroom door before climbing onto my mattress as he did the same. Given my smaller mattress, it gave us less individual room to lay comfortably. I ended up on my side, as close to the edge as possible in order to give him as much room on the mattress as possible.

“Do you have enough room?” I queried.

“Y/n, I have more than enough room. A-are you sure you’re comfortable with this? You’re about to fall off,” he observed, concerned.

“Y-yeah,” I began nervously. “I just wanted to make sure you had enough space.”

“I have plenty of space. You can come closer, if you want,” he offered.

I obliged, moving myself closer to him. We were both laying on our sides now, staring at one another.

“Are you okay?” I asked him, wanting to confirm one last time before I turned the lights off.

He nodded his head, cracking a small smile.

I leant over, turning the lamp off and returning to my position. I couldn't see anything, as my pupils adjusted to the sudden darkness in the room, but I could feel him right there. 

“Goodnight, George,” I whispered to his unseen figure.

“Goodnight, Y/n.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #275

i’m anxious and my head is hectic so i can’t think of a single song lyric to put here lmao

Have you ever dated anybody online? Yes, but we met up in person for a week+ at a time multiple times. Ever been stalked? No. Ever stalked someone? No. I never got to that point with him because shit’s creepy. Have you ever been called a slut, hoe, skank, whore? Only playfully by close friends because that’s how we show affection sometimes lmao. Have you ever snuck out before? No. Do you eat meat? I wish I didn’t, but I do. If so, do you like meat? Yes. If not, do you have anything against people who eat meat? N/A Have you ever gotten a manicure or pedicure? I went with my old friend and sisters on rare occasions just to hang out. Have you ever been close to getting kidnapped? Jc no, thank fuck. HAVE you ever been kidnapped? No. I’d be so goddamn terrified. Do you listen to Lykke Li? Never heard of ‘em. Have you ever self-harmed? Yes. Do you have any eating disorders? No. Have you ever met a celebrity? No. Do you like Monster Energy or do you prefer other energy drinks? Astonishingly with how much I love soda, I am nooot an energy drink fan. They taste like straight-up poison. Describe the best day of your life? I don’t really know what that would be. About how many times a week do you skip class or just school in general? When I was in school, I’d fake sick as a kid rarely, then in high school I had quite a few mental health days. College, too. Have you ever been suspended from school? No. Have you ever been expelled? No. Do you role-play? Only on designated forums and in serious stories. I need substance behind it. Irl, sexual, and pretty much any other RP doesn’t interest me. Do you watch Degrassi? I never did, no. What is one of the saddest novels you’ve ever read in your lifetime? Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo. Jesus fucking Christ. Orbit or 5 Gum? Honestly can’t even remember their tastes… but I THINK I preferred the latter. Have you ever been in a love triangle? No. How bad are your hangovers? I’ve never had one. Do you think Taco Bell is nasty? No. Do you have a jacuzzi? Definitely not. Have you ever broken a bone? If so, what was the cause of it? No. Do you think vegans/vegetarians look down on people who choose to eat animal products? That’s a very generalizing statement… You can’t say that of them all. Some absolutely do, others don’t. Do your friendships tend to last a long time or are they short-lived? Definitely the former. Name the best and worst things about your current or most recent relationship. The best thing was absolutely that I felt accepted for entirely who I was, like I needed to hide not a single thing. The worst thing was easily distance. Fuck distance. How are you? Aggravated at a lot of things. What part of your body are you most insecure about? Absolutely my stomach. What’s one food you would be surprised to hear that someone doesn’t like? Chocolate. I mean I know at least one person who doesn’t, but boy does it catch you off-guard. Do you think your voice is higher or lower than average? It’s definitely lower than the average woman’s. Do you and your parents like any of the same bands/singers? Oh, loads! I couldn’t even begin to list them all. Is there any food in your bedroom? No. Do you know anyone who has road rage? MY YOUNGER SISTER. GOOD LORD. Riding with her is always a trip. How far away do your grandparents live from you? My only (barely) living one is in New York with family, probably until she dies. It’s like ten hours away. What kinds of cereal are in the cupboard? We have chocolate Special K, Honey Nut Cheerios, a Food Lion rip-off of Rice Krispies, and… maybe one more? Is your mom a big health freak or your dad? Or neither? Neither, really. Given her cancer, high blood sugar, and diabetes though, Mom is much more conscious of what she eats. Do you know anyone who wants to be the president one day? Not that I’m aware of. What kinds of chips are in the cupboards? We don’t have any. Mom and I try to keep snack foods out of the house because we know ourselves well enough to know we WILL eat them too fast. Do you have your mom’s or dad’s hair? Absolutely my mom’s. It’s thick as hell like hers was. What’s the first thing you see when you walk into your bedroom? Probably my massive Nightmare Before Christmas poster above my bed. Do you have any friends who have naturally red hair? Yes. Have you ever cried when a teacher retired? Yep. I’m never going to forget my first band teacher; he was a real comedian with a massive heart. We all adored him and got so excited when he would come back to substitute if our instructor had to miss and he was able to come. Oddly enough, I don’t remember his name… When’s the last time you wore heels? Oh Christ. Maybe Ashley’s wedding? Did I even wear heels? Do you have your mom’s or dad’s eyes? Neither. What’s the best date movie? I am such an average white bitch in how my answer to this will always and vehemently be The Notebook. How long has your current best friend been your best friend? Around three years. Have your parents ever been out of the country? No. Do you swear and yell while playing video games? No. I might curse under my breath. Is there any alcohol in the fridge? Oh I WISH. Do your pets chase after bugs? YUP. Roman loves hunting flies. When’s the last time you were so excited you couldn’t sleep? Why? Excited? Probably not since I was going to see Sara. I don’t know. What is your mom’s favorite movie? Oh shit, good question. How much older is your dad then you? Don’t make me math, please. 30-something years. Do you have any relatives who really spoil you? No. Do you know anyone who has security cameras in their house? Probably. What was the last movie to make you cry? No clue. Has anyone you know ever pulled the fire alarm in school, joking around? I think so? Who was the main character in the last book you read? Starflight. Is the last person you said goodbye to single? No, he’s married to my sister. Who are the last people you saw kiss? Like romantically/on the lips? Ummm probably a couple on Facebook or something. Have you ever posted a fan fiction on a website? No. Do you ever fantasize about your future wedding? Who’s the bride/groom? Not anymore. Do you have any relatives who are expecting a baby really soon? No. My high school friend did just announce she’s pregnant with her second child though. When you get married, who will be the maid of honor/best man? My mom. Does your best friend get along with their parents? Yes, they’re fantastic. Have you ever been in a wedding? What were you? Yes; I was the hideous bridesmaid that just cried all through my sister’s wedding. That was a fucking nightmare. Does it matter to you what kind of shampoo you use? I don’t really care, no. Do you have a sensitive gag reflex? Like STUPID fuckin sensitive. Where are you the most ticklish? Don’t touch my fuckin feet. What was the last situation to upset you? It was a petty envy thing that shouldn’t have upset me, let’s move along. Have you ever had an online argument? I’ve been socially on the Internet since I was 11 and am now 24, take a guess lmao. The general subject of your last text conversation? Asking Sara for permission for something RP-related. What is just down the hall from where you’re located? There’s not really a hall at all; my room opens up into the living room. Do any of your friends know you fill out surveys? Well besides the online friends I have here, no. Do you like the controversial/political surveys? ”It depends on if I have enough opinions (and energy) to give good answers or not.” <<<< Exactly this. Who/What did you last spend time worrying about? Myself and my future and my newfound fear of ending up homeless and hopeless after my parents pass away because I’m a very sorry Adult™. What was the last thing you prepared in the oven? Whoa, who knows. The oven scares me, so I don’t use it myself. When were you last offered something illegal? I don’t think I ever have been, actually. Did you accept or decline that offer? N/A When was the last time that you saw fire? On the way home like a week back or something. Someone was burning stuff in their backyard. Have you ever seen somebody get shot? No. What are you listening to? “Little One” by Highly Suspect. Gorgeous song. Do you chew on your hair? Um no???? Can you talk on the phone while having the tv/radio on? No. What size are all the televisions in your house? I don’t know the measurements, but it’s a large Vizio. One of the few really nice things we got when my parents were together. Do you have health insurance? Yes. How many times have you been pulled over by the cops while driving? Zero. What is one of your favorite movie lines? I don’t know, they’re not really something I memorize. What is one thing you look forward to every day? My morning Mountain Dew lmao it’s my coffee, essentially. What is one thing you dread every day? The inevitable part where I’m bored shitless by early evening. Ever lived through a natural disaster? Lots of hurricanes. What’s the longest you’ve lived without electricity? I wanna say around two days? Maybe even three? I don’t remember. Name all the drugs you have tried: None. Name all of the alcoholic beverages you have tried? Margaritas and sangrias with different types of alcohol that I don’t know. Oh, hard lemonade. Oh yeah, wine too, which was fucking repulsive. Name all the types/brands of cigarettes you have tried: None. What is one thing you stand strongly for? Fucking TRY ME on gay rights. What does your doormat say? We don’t have one. Who was the last person you were on hold with (on the phone)? I don’t remember. Who do you know that’s had a baby recently? Ummm I don’t think any *very* recently. Do you know anyone who got married recently? Again, not very. Do you know anyone who has died recently? No. Do you change songs in the car often? I use my iPod to play over it, where I select the songs to play, so I let them play through. However, if I was actually the driver, I definitely wouldn’t; it wouldn’t really matter because I’m so terrified of driving that I need almost no radio at all. What street sign do you find totally pointless? I’m not familiar enough with them all. What drinking games have you played? None. What made you pick up the last book you started reading? Sara got me into the series. Have you received any bad or troubling news lately? Welcome to 20fuckin20, y’all. When was the last time you were relieved about something? *shrug* What about your life concerns you the most? That I’ll waste it. Is there a common thing most people seem to do without trouble, but it scares you (talking on the phone, driving, interviews, etc)? When was the last time you had to do one of these kinds of things? When I went to the doctor a couple weeks ago, I signed myself in. Yes, that sets my anxiety off because I don’t know how to Talk. When was the last time you went somewhere for the first time? Uhhhhhhhh good question. I don’t go anywhere. What is a situation that makes you feel especially confident? Talking about meerkat behavior ha ha. If you’ve moved out from home, what was the scariest thing about it? What was/is your favorite thing about it? N/A Are there any fictional characters you like even though they’re “bad” or “evil?” What qualities draw you to a character? BITCH yes. I just like charisma. For villains, I really like when there’s a *reason* they’re bad, too, and not so just for the sake of it. And I am a SUCKER for sarcastic lil shit villains. What are your thoughts on “forgiving” murderers, rapists, attackers, etc? Do you think it’s even possible to forgive these people? This is a tough question, after I looked past my initial “hell no.” Like, people change. I suppose it varies case-to-case. What was the last series you finished watching? Do you have any plans to begin another? Actually finished, Ginga Densetsu Weed. I’m sure Sara and I will keep watching Avatar: The Last Airbender next time we see each other. What is one way in which you are different from a year ago? What is one way in which you are still the same? I definitely hate myself more than I did. And that’s the problem: I haven’t developed at all in a year’s time. Is there anything you’ve promised yourself you’ll never do again? Multiple things. Do you prefer fake tanning or real tanning? I prefer not tanning at all. Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs? No. I’m not getting into that shit. If the person was recovered, yes, but I wouldn’t hesitate leaving if they relapsed and didn’t seek help. Sounds brutal, but I’m serious about the damage drugs do, and not just to the user. Do you still talk to the person you had your first kiss with? No. It’s probably best we never do again. Can you make yourself cry? I’ve never really tried, but I don’t think so. Are you ready for kids? I’ll never be. Have you ever woken up crying from a bad dream? Plenty of times. Thanks, nightmares every fucking time I sleep. Do you eat breakfast? Yes. Cannot relate to people who don’t like wtf that’s the best part of the morning. Have you ever trusted someone too much? BOY OH BOY OH BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How did you get your last bruise? I don’t recall. Last time you got a text message and smiled? Idk. What was the last kid’s movie you saw? Ummmmm good question. Have you ever shared a shower or bath with someone as an adult? Noooo, not into it. Sounds dangerous but also just… weird to me. Like let me clean myself in peace??? Are you bitter about anything? Oh, am I. Do you use emojis? Occasionally. I’m too biased to emoticons, growing up using those every sentence, lol… but I’m starting to move towards them depending on the platform, and the ones I use are very limited. Do you have any hidden piercings? (this includes bellybuttons) No. I took my snake eyes out. Has anyone called you perfect before? *lips against mic* that was a motherfuckin lie Have you ever liked someone that was in a relationship? Yes. Have you ever gone through a period of mass weight-gain/weight-loss? What was that time like for you? Both, actually. First, mass weight-gain happened due to a medication I was on that murders metabolism + I was a bad emotional eater after the breakup, and those two don’t mix. Then, through recovery, I lost over 50 pounds in around a year from being off of that fucking medicine and my eating habits returning to normal. What’s one incident that has majorly affected your self-esteem? Was it for better, or for worse? THE BREAKUP. It made me feel like an absolute waste of space and time. Do you have a close bond with your sibling(s)? Was it always this way, or has it been better/worse? Not really, but I wish I did. Ashley and Nicole are very close, then I’m like… awkwardly on the sidelines trying to find times where I can insert myself and be a proper sister. Ash and I ARE closer than we were as kids, while it’s a harsh opposite with Nicole. We shared a room and were very close, but now I feel like she doesn’t even like me. Have you used Limewire before? Ha, yuuup… Who do you envy the most, if anyone at all? I’m uncertain about the most.

[phobiadeficient]

Hi!!! Would you be interested in doing something with either spy and engineer, or really whatever pairing you felt like writing, and the prompt of “appreciating old scars”? You put such an emotionally lovely twist on the things you write, I just bet it’s a concept that would look great in your writing.

me, zeroing on the word “emotion” and immediately fishing through the Bag of Hurt/Comfort for some truly sappy shit: oh you have fucked up my friend

(minor warning for discussion of past amputation, past surgery, and past severe injury, as well as some insecurity over prosthetics)

-

He felt a burning sort of tingle on his back, and he looked up, turned, and caught Spy’s gaze on him. Surprising that he’d catch Spy staring—more surprising was that he didn’t stop, despite clearly being caught.

The Engineer tried to figure out where he was looking, but the answer was fairly obvious. He was looking at the Engineer’s arm. Rather, he was looking at the place where his arm ceased to be.

The Engineer flushed and quickly set about putting on the Gunslinger and glove.

That was the issue with most of the outpost bases—at the main base in New Mexico, he had his full workshop, a storage space within repurposed as his own room, an area there that he tended to use for a shower so he wouldn’t need to deal with any of the hustle and bustle of the locker rooms beyond hosing off his shoes so he didn’t track into the base. Plenty of privacy and space.

But up in Snowplow? Not so much.

The singular set of showers was the worst part, in his opinion. Three shower stalls total, and two toilets, and three sinks to shave at. He tended to shower in the evenings, so he only usually needed to deal with Heavy, Spy, and occasionally Pyro, as opposed to the chaos that happened in the mornings with everyone else, and generally Sniper had to shave twice daily if he wanted to maintain a clean face, but it was still a bit close for comfort at times.

Not much privacy.

The team all knew about the Gunslinger by then, had all seen it. Everyone—even Scout—was just polite enough not to ask about it, other than a surprised reaction each of their first times seeing it. The Medic asked a few questions during his mandatory physical, but they were all entirely professional—“Is the artificial limb removable,” “What is the standard regiment of care for the site of amputation,” “Are there prepared replacements in the event of prosthetic malfunction,” “Can the replacement limb be exposed to water and other such environmental factors,”—things of that nature, entirely reasonable questions for his primary care physician to be asking. And then exactly one non-professional question, his asking if the limb was capable of strength more than that of the average human, and the Engineer nodded, and he seemed pleased, even if he didn’t press the matter any further.

Largely, he kept it private. But then suddenly he had to shower with everyone else, and he couldn’t let the Gunslinger get too wet, so he had to take it off and leave it outside of the stall. And then as he was drying off enough to put it back on his arm, Spy was looking at his lack of arm, very openly and obviously.

Thinking back on it later, hunched over the meager desk he had available in their minuscule base, he decided Spy didn’t exactly look disgusted or horrified by the lack of a limb. And he didn’t look, even worse, pitying over it. He just… looked. Observed. Took note, maybe. And when he’d looked back up at the Engineer and met eyes with him, he didn’t seem guilty or smug, it was just… recognition. It was just the sort of look to say, “Yes, I was looking at you. Yes, I know you saw me. And there’s really nothing wrong with either of those things. Do you disagree?”

He did, a little.

It was maybe coincidental that over the course of what eventually turned into a camaraderie, and then a true friendship, and then a romantic relationship, the first time they fell into bed together was when they’d once again rotated back around to being stationed at Snowplow. They kept their voices low, aware of the thin walls, rooms pressed close together, the threat of being heard very present. And the Spy slowly stripped off several items of his own clothes, one by one, exchanging long, slow kisses in between, and had only freed the Engineer of his goggles and hat before his fingers fell to dwell at the edge of his rubber glove questioningly.

The Engineer allowed himself a sigh before he pulled the glove off, revealing his robotic arm to the meager light, sunset drifting through the boarded windows of the room and striking light across exposed skin like stationary flashes of lightning, harsh and surprising even in longevity.

The Spy moved to line up his own gloves fingertips with that of the hand’s, finding the task a little difficult due to the slightly odd offset of them. The Engineer waited impatiently for words, for something, and ended up breaking first when none came. “Aren’t you going to ask me how it happened? Where my arm went? How I built this?” he prompted, tone gentle, words defeated.

The Spy tilted his head back up to regard him, and a beam of light crested just across his bottommost eyelashes. “Would you like me to, Dell?” he asked gently.

No, was the answer to that question, but that was irrelevant. “Don’t you want to know?” he asked instead of answering.

The Spy tilted his head very slightly, and the light moved to only catch against his cheekbone. “Ah. But there is a very distinct difference between what I want to know and what I must know, mon cher,” he said easily. “I want to know everything, everything that there is to know, everything in the world. But I do not need to. Non, I think the only thing I need to know…”

Hesitation, gently threading his fingers into the prosthetic’s.

“Will this ever hurt me?” he asked, and looked back up at the Engineer.

“Only if I want it to,” the Engineer said, and squeezed very gently to demonstrate. “So never.”

Spy smiled a little at that, and the motion in his face adjusted his cheek just so, until at once the light could touch his eyelashes and cheek both at once, and Lord, but it was gorgeous. “Never is a very considerable promise, mon beau,” he warned.

“I know,” the Engineer said, and it was enough, at least for then. And he never did get around to taking off his socks, and the Spy only stripped as far as his bottoms, pulling them some of the way down his legs, leaving on socks and garters and gloves and mask and undershirt alike as fervor overtook them both.

It was later, days later, that more discussion happened.

“It doesn’t make you nervous?” the Engineer asked, watching Spy once again idly trying to line up his hand with the false one as they laid together, Spy having coaxed him into resting for some part of the middle of their day off.

Spy hummed in question, looking up at him for but a moment.

“This thing,” he said, demonstrating with a roll of his fingers. “It doesn’t… put you off?”

“Not particularly,” Spy shrugged. “At most, I am occasionally startled by the texture of the glove when I forget which side it is on, or the sudden coolness of it. But I suppose you tolerate my own cold feet, so… assez juste.”

“Not just the feeling of it, the… the being of it.”

Spy tilted his head a little. “You are worried I do not… like it?” he asked, seeming a little confused.

“More that it… makes you nervous.”

A little laugh. “Dell, just because I cannot immediately see it, that does not mean it disappears entirely from my memory. We have been stationed together for years, now. Surely if it was something that bothered me—which is never has—I might have said something?”

He flushed. “Well… why wouldn’t it make you nervous? I’ve got my goddamn arm lobbed off, Spy, that’s… turned folks away before.”

Spy raised an eyebrow. “You think that amputation—or perhaps prosthesis—makes one undesirable?” he asked.

“A little bit,” he admitted.

“Well, count me surprised to learn you find me so hideous.”

Engie frowned. “What?”

Spy sighed, moving to tug off his gloves in two smooth motions, then promptly holding his hands out, palms-up, to see.

The pinkie finger of both hands, the last knuckle onward of his left ring finger, and the entirety of his right middle finger all shone an entirely different color and texture than the rest of his hands, visibly not made of flesh, but instead artificial.

“As they often do, the last finger of each hand simply follows the fourth,” he said, demonstrating by curling and uncurling the fingers in question. “To curl my center finger, I push down some of the way with the pointer and finish curling with my thumb. See? A few years of practice, and I hardly ever even needed to think about it. These are replacements and work roughly as well as organic—I got them during a short trip to Australia shortly after I signed on with Mann Co. as a mercenary—but still, I do things this way by habit. And luckily, since then I also have once again trained myself in piano.”

Engie was at a loss for words. “How many years have they been gone?”

Some quick mental math. “By now… hmm. I spent six without prosthetics, then perhaps twelve with standard, then ten until now with upgrades.”

Almost thirty years. The Engineer was shocked.

“And that’s not to speak of that which has been replaced in reconstructive surgery,” he said, tone still calm and casual, starting to point at his own face. “I lost the majority of my nose, and much of my right ear. The entire shell of my ear and all parts below the bridge of my nose were reconstructed.”

“Why? When?”

“Almost immediately following the accidents causing them.” The Spy tugged lightly on his mask, readjusting it absentmindedly. “It is very easy to identify and pick from a police lineup the man without an ear or a nose. Unless they took me for an undead Van Gogh, I would be entirely out of luck.”

“You’ve got red hair under there?” Engie asked, trying for a joke.

“I’ve had many different hair colors,” he said, turning his nose up a bit, and the Engineer laughed a little. “Regardless, these things happen. It is nothing to be ashamed of.”

A hesitation. “What if… what if the changes are more… intentional? And not caused by an accident?” he asked gently.

Spy arched an eyebrow. “A sort of… extreme form of body modification?” he asked. “That would not be terribly shocking either.”

“What do you mean?”

A little laugh. “Dell, you have seen me naked. Surely you have noticed my tattoos.”

His head was spinning. “What?”

Spy hummed, sitting up, moving now to unbutton his dress shirt and pull himself free of the undershirt beneath. “I suppose I was facing you the whole time, and my legs were largely unexposed,” he said, even as he struggled a bit with the fabric. Then he was turning to face away from the Engineer, squaring his shoulders, and he leaned in, surprised.

Some were symbols and markings, no doubt earned from stints infiltrating prison gangs, or perhaps as proofs for insurgents. But others were clearly decorative—roses, phrases, patterns. He didn’t quite get a proper look at them all before Spy was standing, pulling himself free of his pants, and moving fabric aside to show the further decoration on one hip, and up the other thigh. Large, intricate tattoos, weaving and twisting. And across several of those tattoos, scars, and along several of the scars tattoos, the scars not so much ruining several of them as becoming further decoration, further artistry.

“I also have a black spot etched into the bottom of my foot,” he said, lying back down with the Engineer gracefully. “But I choose not to count that one, as it was put there against my will. Forgive me for not stopping to show you that one, I’m sure the sight of my bare ankles would be absolutely scandalous.”

“Might just faint,” Engineer agreed sagely.

“Of course,” Spy agreed, laughing a little. He reached a hand up to stroke across the Engineer’s cheek, and he wondered how he’d never noticed before, the shift in firmness between his flesh fingers and the other ones—mostly wooden, by the feeling of them. Maybe the leather gloves were padded. He wasn’t sure. “Dell, what I am saying is that you do not frighten me. Not your body, at least—I would have to be an idiot to be left unintimidated by your intelligence.”

“You’re intimidated by my intelligence?” he asked, earnestly a little surprised.

“Hm. Some amount intimidated,” he agreed, and then he was up, straddling the Engineer, hands pressing into either shoulder. “The rest, aroused, but I have not entirely made up my mind on it yet.”

“Could be more,” he decided, hands finding Spy’s hips, eyes drifting over where Spy hadn’t yet risen to full hardness in his undershorts.

“So I could,” Spy agreed. “But instead, I think you have deserved a night of attention, mon beau.”

“How’d I earn that?” he asked, stroking his flesh palm up across Spy’s chest.

“I’m sure I could make any number of excuses, but to be entirely truthful, I just very much want it to happen.” He squeezed the Engineer’s shoulders. “Indulge me?”

“Go ahead,” he agreed.

He expected kissing, and perhaps a lengthy session of stroking, being teased to the edge at a languid pace and held there for some time until Spy finally pushed him over it again.

He didn’t expect downright oral worship.

Spy stripped him bare, taking the time to lay kisses in the wake of his hands, moving so slowly that it might have been unbearable if the Engineer was a little younger, a little more wound up. As it was, it was soothing, like some kind of ticklish massage.

Spy paused at one point, glancing up at him when he shivered and shifted slightly. He took note of the goosebumps rising on his arms, and gave a parting kiss to his navel before standing and looking around briefly.

He returned to bed with a large, thick blanket, and draped it around his own shoulders as he laid down, then took the care to lay it out over the both of them, tugging and tucking as needed. The shift of his bare thighs against the Engineer’s as he kept adjusting surely wasn’t intended to be so sensual, but he found it sending a ticklish feeling up through his body, something like butterflies, but they didn’t linger in his stomach. Instead they prompted him to reach up and stroke a hand over the Spy’s chest again. But then Spy was taking that hand and pushing it to lie up next to his head, leaned over him with a little grin.

“I believe I already said this night is about you, mon chou-chou, he purred. “Surely you don’t want to inturrupt it?”

“Just feel a bit strange, just… lyin’ here and all,” he admitted, shifting a little.

Spy hummed, considered that. Then he was bracing elbows on either side of the Engineer’s head, moving to nuzzle along the pit of his neck and press teasing kisses at either pulse point. “Dell, if your concern is with reciprocation, I can assure you that I am very much going to enjoy this,” he purred, breath warm and soothing against his skin, and his goosebumps were no longer from the chill of the room.

It took him a little while to understand the game Spy was playing. He pressed further kisses and feather-light scrapes of teeth and kitten-licks in gentle lines and patterns starting at the wrist of his flesh-and-blood hand, taking the time to move up and pay special attention to each fingertip and knuckle. Then he was moving down along his arm, pausing for long moments in seemingly random places.

He paused for a long moment at the Engineer’s elbow, and it was an odd enough choice that he finally pieced it together, pulse jumping.

What had to be in common between his hands, those random spots along his arms, his elbow? Scars.

The majority of scars on his hands were from mistakes when building, an unavoidable part of often working with power tools and machinery. His fingertips were scarred enough in some places that he largely didn’t have feeling in them anymore. Then along his arms, one place where he’d been bit by a dog years ago, and from mishaps that had happened when cooking with oil and grease, stray splatters that left little blotchy patches, especially visible given the distinct lack of hair that coated much of the rest of his arm.

He knew he was a fuzzy man. He was aware. It was just made all the more obvious, he thought, by the way hair tended not to grow over old scar tissue and marks, leaving them patchy, further drawing the eye.

Usually he would probably feel self-conscious, noticing such a thing, but Spy had moved along up his arm, still kissing at him as tenderly as if he was worried about reopening decades-old wounds, and he couldn’t find it in him to want to squirm away.

Reaching his shoulder, Spy laid a simple kiss to the apex, and looked over at him, and as of reading his mind, he murmured a simple “Handsome.”

“Aw, hell,” he mumbled, covering his own face with his hand, flushing, very much wishing he had his goggles on just then to help hide his expression a little.

Spy just laughed, not a mocking thing, not at him, more just… a wordless vocalization of how much he was enjoying himself, making the Engineer flush and fluster.

Then he dipped down and started lying kisses over the Engineer’s abdomen below his ribs.

It had been years since he got his appendix out, but the scars were still there—a few little ones, maybe an inch or so wide. And Spy paid gentle attentions to them, drawing his tongue flat against them then kissing so very gently, more a brush and press of lips than anything else. Then a pause, and he was dragging teeth gingerly over a larger web of scars marring the space there at the bottom of his ribcage to one side, the site of an accident that had required extensive surgery.

Then he moved up, paying some minute attention to either nipple—not for terribly long, the Engineer’s wasn’t particularly sensitive in that way—and then a gentle kiss just to his sternum before moving up further and concentrating for a few moments at his right shoulder.

He was concentrating on the two faded bullet wounds he had there, fingertips drifting around to brush against the exit wounds lightly enough that at first he thought it was his imagination.

“One of these days, you should tell me the stories you have behind these,” Spy suggested, glancing up at him briefly.

“Maybe if you tell me about yours,” the Engineer’s replied, smiling.

Spy snorted. “I’ll need to look into the status of several non-disclosure agreements and set aside a few days, but that’s fine by me,” he agreed, and kissed each scar again.

Then he was moving down along his right arm, and his breath caught.

Spy looked up at him briefly, gauging his expression, clearly trying to get a read on whether the Engineer was going to allow him to do this next part. Then, still maintaining eye contact, he slowly lowered his head to plant a brief kiss at the line between where flesh first connected with metal.

The Engineer swallowed hard. Spy looked at him. His expression had shifted away from playfulness at some point, and was a little more hollow, a little more serious.

he lowered his head again and pressed kisses all around the base of the Gunslinger, not quite rapid-fire, but certainly a departure from how slowly they’d been moving for the rest of the time. Then he looked up at the Engineer, hand squeezing around the wrist of his mechanical arm firmly.

“There is nothing wrong with you,” he said, tone entirely certain. “You are a handsome, intelligent, and very strong man who made a choice for himself, and there is nothing—nothing at all—wrong with that. Do you understand me?”

The Engineer’s throat was growing tight. He couldn’t seem to find words.

Spy noticed, and moved to straddle him again, sitting up to look him straight in the eye. The blanket slid, falling to drape at his waist, and his expression was stern. “I don’t know what gave you the impression that this would upset me—if that is my own doing, I apologize, I’ll apologize as many times as I need to if it means putting you at ease. But I love you, and that means loving all of you, natural-born or otherwise.”

The Engineer sat up on one elbow, eyes gone wide. His mouth hung uselessly for a few moments before he forced his voice out, dry and uneven. “You love me?” he asked, the shame he felt at his voice cracking taking a backseat to the absolute wonder flooding into his chest.

“Of course. Surely it is not that much of a surprise,” Spy said, voice falling to teasing for a moment, hand tracing up through the hair on the Engineer’s chest idly.

His mouth worked soundlessly as he tried to figure out a response.

Another snort of amusement, this time at his plight. “I understand if you aren’t ready to say it back,” he assured evenly. “I would not expect you to. I just wanted to make it clear that this goes beyond simply physical desire, or simply filling some void of loneliness. Besides your being very handsome,” he purred, and the Engineer laughed a little, “you are also very important to me. Irreplaceable. And I wanted you to know that, and hopefully it will put some part of your mind at ease.”

His face felt hot as he stared up at Spy.

Actually, everything felt hot. He hadn’t noticed—how hadn’t he noticed?—but somewhere along the line of Spy kissing and licking and nipping across his skin, and petting at his chest, he’d gotten hard.

Maybe there were words in the middle, but it felt like a near-immediate transition then, from Spy looking down at him to the Engineer seizing him by the hips and starting to roll up against him demandingly, made aware of the small desperation that had bubbled to the surface of his mind.

Spy managed to wriggle free of his undershorts at least, and spat into his hand to get the both of them slick, and then he was doing the majority of the motion, given that each time the Engineer tried to rock up into his grip he mostly just threatened to unbalance him. And once he had the reins, the rolls and bucks of his hips, sliding them together in languid motions, it was borderline artful, a mastery that had the Engineer’s head falling back within moments, simply gripping down near Spy’s knees and holding on for dear life.

He leaned up on his elbow and helped support Spy’s weight when he suddenly bent forward and kissed him, solidly, with heat and hunger that almost caught the Engineer by surprise. Kissing him, trying his best to keep up with the way Spy was sending his head spinning, it was easy to hear the transition from panting to gasping to allowing a small near-whimper on each exhale between them. Spy’s eyes were hazy when they pulled back for air, and he mouthed a kiss to the Engineer’s cheek as if unable to help himself, panting hot and damp against his skin.

He was fairly sure that a Spy finished first, choking down moans and simply gasping out his name over and over again, scorching at his cheek and deep in his gut—“Oh, Dell, Dell, s’il v-vous, pl… s’il vous plait,”, something he was fairly certain would be making an appearance in every wet dream he ever had for the rest of his life—but he followed quickly after, groaning his defeat, as quiet as he could keep himself, horribly mindful of the thin walls. Although, admittedly, the thought of being heard sent some minor thrill through him. Something to be explored later, maybe.

The blanket had fallen free of the two of them at some point, down near Spy’s toes, heavy on the Engineer’s shins. Spy was panting hard against his collarbone, pausing only when he swallowed hard, and once his breath was sufficiently back, he was pressing all sorts of gentle little kisses up the vein of his neck, murmuring endearments that were either exclusively in French or perhaps too mumbled for him to understand.

“Really oughtn’t surprise me that you get cuddly, after,” the Engineer teased.

“It has been quite some time since I’ve had the opportunity to lie in bed with a strong, handsome man. Indulge me,” Spy said petulantly, and then he was shifting, his chest nearly at the Engineer’s eye level as he reached to try and fish out a cigarette. The Engineer leaned up to press a kiss to his sternum, and Spy didn’t startle so much as allow some of the looseness of his limbs to fall away, becoming slightly more alert. He huffed a laugh, and then he was cuddled in at the Engineer’s side, nosing into his shoulder.

He put his arm around the Spy on instinct, and belatedly realized it was his metal arm. “Don’t you wanna move over to the other—“ he started to hesitantly ask.

“Non,” Spy cut in, and leaned up to press a cheeky kiss right on the tip of his nose. “Not at all.”

[enaasteria]

Lost and Found // Baekhyun

// Prompt Request—“Have you seen my hoodie?” // Requested by—@baekyung​  // Artist AU, Soulmate AU, attempt at fluff but probably more aligned to angst

A/N: It was supposed to be a drabble but it turned into this monster. I’m very sorry.

“You’re staring at him again,” my seat mate, Mari, teases. She pokes me with an unused paintbrush before packing up the rest of her supplies at the end of class. It breaks me out of my reverie and I massage the slight throbbing in my arm, playing off her scrutiny of where my eyes may have wandered.

“We’re supposed to look at him.”

“Yeah, while we’re painting his figure. I’m not sure if that includes when he dresses and undresses.”

“I—I—wa—I wasn’t staring at him undress—was I?” I ask, almost mortified at the thought of being so pathetically obvious in how besotted I am over this semester’s male model, Byun Baekhyun. 

“If laser eyes existed in this world, you would’ve burned two holes into his chest.”

“I wasn’t staring at his chest.”

“Oh? Was it his—

I lunge forward, almost dropping my art supply bin, to stop her from verbally embarrassing me more so than she already has as one by one the students exit the classroom. “I wasn’t.”

“Fine, fine. You weren’t, but who would blame you if you did,” she says with a wave of her hand while she waits for me to finish packing up. “He is, after all, rather aesthetically pleasing.”

“More than aesthetically pleasing.”

“Oh?”

I look at her, realizing I divulged more than what I usually do in terms of my infatuation for Baekhyun. It was harmless intrigue in the beginning. I saw him through the eyes of a painter because he was unbelievably beautiful. His soft cheeks, the strawberry toned hair ruffling over his eyes, the benevolent grin seemingly etched into his face. It was as if there was a light exuding from him—a type of warmth I tried to capture with my paintbrushes every day. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I think you and I both know exactly what you meant.”

The comment makes me grimace because there’s no denying I like him. Down to the very essence, I like him in a way I can’t explain within words, in drawings, or even fathom how I’ve never felt my heartstrings tug for another in a way it does for Baekhyun. 

As much as I wish for a little more from the very man I paint from on a daily basis, I realize how futile these inner desires truly are. Because it’s all I can do. I can only look at him. I can only draw him and the single thought continually spreads a debilitating ache throughout every part of my soul. 

Mari watches as my expression reaches the fine line of acceptance and hurt and places a supportive hand on my shoulder. “He could be, you know. He could be your—”

I stop her before she voices it—the dreaded ‘soulmate’ terminology of which we all live and abide by. In our world, there’s a person we’re meant to be with. They’re our match in every possible way and while I do harbor feelings for Baekhyun in the acutest kind, I realize the chance of him being that person made out to be my other half is zero to none. “He’s not.”

“He could be.”

“The universe has never and would never be so kind.”

“You never know.” She changes her pitch, turning it into a rather singsongy tune as we exit the drawing room.

We make our way down the hallway with our art portfolio cases hanging on our shoulders and from the corner of my eye, I see her bite her bottom lip. She’s toying with whether to voice out the obvious because whenever she tries to mention the word soulmate to me, immediately following will be a discussion about my birthday—my 20th birthday to be exact and one which will happen at the stroke of midnight.

“Are you ready?” she asks.

“Is anyone ever ready to find out who their soulmate is on their 20th birthday?”

There’s a slight shock to her face as she hears me say the word I usually avoid. And it’s because I have a hard time admitting how the word scares me. I’m horrifically afraid what I’ll feel for my soulmate will never amount to the way I feel for Baekhyun. 

I let out a sigh and push away the apprehension, figuring I’ll deal with it when it comes. But as a good friend should, she empathizes with my worries and connects her free arm within mine. “I definitely wasn’t ready.”

“Yet, you won’t tell me how it happens so I can prepare myself.”

She scoffs as her eyes crinkle at the edges, perhaps remembering how she found out who her fated person was all those months ago. “It’s because I don’t know how to explain it. You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you. What about your parents? Did they say anything?”

“Yeah—but it only made me more confused.”

“What did they say?”

“They called it—lost and found.”

For a while, I tried interpreting their meaning. I wondered if it meant physically losing something with my soulmate finding and returning it or if it was just a metaphor beyond my comprehension. In the end, all I was left with was a whole new set of unanswered questions. Though, I don’t get a chance to hear Mari’s take on it as a familiar voice calls out my name. 

The sound instantly stills my heart as I’ve memorized his pitch and tone as much as I’ve memorized the details of his body from head to toe. I’m frozen in footing as my grip on Mari tightens. She doesn’t let go as we both see Baekhyun jog up to where we’re standing. 

“Hey—” he starts off and per his norm, his smile is already tugging at the far corners of his mouth. 

I’m not sure where the courage is coming from but my mouth responds on its own (albeit it’s just a single greeting and to my defense, it is one word more than what I’ve said to him all year). “Hi.”

Mari untangles herself from my grasp. It doesn’t take a genius to know she’s about to abandon me within the matter of seconds so I’ll suffer through this sudden interaction alone. “I have to catch the bus, but I’ll see you next class. Happy birthday and let me know how it goes tonight—okay?”

I mentally plead her to stay but all she gives back are sly winks and unexplainable eyebrow raises. What’s a little more alarming other than her leaving me to fend for myself is the fact she mentioned my birthday for Baekhyun to hear. 

My free hand reaches up to my forehead, scratching an imaginary itch and hope he doesn’t read too heavily into any of it. “Is something wrong?”

“No, no. It’s nothing serious but Professor Moon mentioned you might be able to help me.” He looks hopeful and I do my best not to get lost in his blinding presence. 

It’s hard enough being in the same room with him while painting his male form but it’s a whole other issue trying to concentrate on holding a proper conversation with him. With the former, at least I had a legitimate reason to only look at him. This is worlds different and is by far, a suffering I never thought I’d have to endure. “Yeah, of course. What is it?”

“Please don’t laugh,” he begins and my heart plummets as I see his eyes shine in the most innocent way. “I usually wear a certain hoodie to your painting class.”

“Right—the sapphire blue one with the white logo design running across the chest,” I say it all without thinking until the cold terror washes down my body. I only memorized that hoodie because it’s the outfit he wore the first time I met him and he’s worn it every day since. But voicing that little fact makes me out to be a strange person and the feeling of wanting to run into a ditch and live there for all of time comes in full force. “I—I me—I mean—artist’s eyes, you know. I notice a lot of details.”

He cranes his neck while his gaze roams about my face. It’s a small little action but one I make note of due to this being the closest I’ve ever stood next to him. I pray he doesn’t sense anything off and to my relief, he doesn’t question or dive deeper into my odd remark. 

Instead, his stare goes on for a second too long before something clicks within him and he speaks again. “Yeah, that’s the one. I must’ve left it behind or misplaced it. I asked Professor Moon if she’s seen it around the classroom but she didn’t. She suggested I ask you since you work in the Art Department office and there’s a lost and found box. I was wondering if you’ve seen my hoodie there by any chance?”

“No, I’m sorry. I haven’t,” I say with a shake of my head. 

Baekhyun’s lips press together into a pout and it’s the saddest look I’ve ever witnessed on him. The melancholy expression doesn’t suit him and I go through every possible method to think and come up with a way to help him.

“But we can go check—the office, I mean. We can check the office. I only work three days out of the week so someone might’ve turned it in.”

“I wouldn’t want to bother you if you had plans—

“It’s ok. I don’t mind,” I say because if there was a choice between going home to an empty apartment or having a few more minutes with Baekhyun, I would choose him time and time again. “I didn’t make any plans so—” My voice fades into a whisper at the end as I urge him to follow me to the art office one building over. 

I try to make it a quick walk but it seems Baekhyun has other ideas as his pace is much slower than mine. He digs his lithe fingers into his jean pockets as he takes one foot after another down the outdoor steps. 

When he reaches the sidewalk, he brings up the very words I love to avoid. “So, your birthday is tonight.” He watches as I writhe about in imaginary pain. It causes a low chuckle to escape from his chest while he waits for my answer.

“Unfortunately, it is.”

“Not a fan of birthdays?”

“Not a fan of this birthday,” I correct.

“Ah—that one.”

I take quick glances at him and find it more of a surprise seeing him return my gaze. But since his attractive face is difficult for me to handle in large doses, I turn my main focus towards the pavement below. “Did you have yours already?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Oh. So you know then—” I swallow and find the sudden lump situated at the base of my throat making it hard for me to breathe. “You know who your soulmate is.”

“Mhmm. I know who she is.” 

“Does she know—that you’re her soulmate?” The bitter words feel like salt on my wounds but I’m not even sure why I’m asking. The only plausible result waiting for me at the finish line is more angst and agony. Maybe a part of me wants to know in hopes it’ll make tonight a little bit more bearable—solidifying into stone how I was right in thinking Baekhyun wasn’t my soulmate after all. 

Baekhyun shakes his head, his locks tousling over his almond eyes. “No, not yet. I’m trying my best to keep myself from getting too close to her until she does find out.”

“Why?”

“Not sure. I have this irrational fear she won’t like me so for now, I’m staying away and just hoping for the best.”

“Hope.” I breathe out the one word and find so much familiarity in it because it’s exactly how I feel when I look at Baekhyun. 

I hope even when I realize it’s hopeless to do so. 

Tucking a few strands of loose hair behind my ear, I give him a sad smile before we reach the building. I change the topic since this might be the only time I’ll ever have a conversation with him in our lives and I’d rather it not be so dreary and bleak. 

“I’m sure she’ll like you—especially in that hoodie,” I placate and sincerely wish she loves him for the remarkable person he is inside and out. 

When we finally arrive to the art office, I set my art portfolio case down by the door and ask Baekhyun to wait. I feel the weight of his gaze watching my every movement and it becomes a little nerve-wracking to just walk in front of him. I dig around in the storage closest before finding the tattered cardboard box but when I bring it out, I’m unable to hide my disappointment. It doesn’t go unnoticed as his expression mirrors my own.

“It’s not in there, is it?” he asks.

“No, it isn’t. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m thankful for you trying.” He shrugs his shoulders and the frown once on his face dissipates as quickly as it came. “You know, I actually considered it my good luck charm.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Not to be super cheesy or anything but my life changed the day I was wearing it so it became something I was attached to. I even went to the lengths of writing my name and phone number inside on the label tag just in case I somehow lost it—which, clearly, I ended up doing anyway.”

“I know the feeling. It happened with my sketchbook.”

Baekhyun shifts his weight and bites down on the inner flesh of his mouth as if keeping himself from smiling too hard. I blink to try and understand it but no viable answer comes to mind. He clears his throat and brushes his index over his nose a few times before asking, “Sketchbook?”

“It wasn’t really a good luck charm as it was more of something bringing me joy. I would draw in it every time I felt down.”

“What did you draw in it?”

My hand naturally draws up to my chest, trying to alleviate some of the tension because what I drew in that notebook was endless portraits of him. Every page was lined to the details of only him. His face. His hands. Even the tiny little mole housed on his ear. “Pictures—of someone.” I avoid saying him in fear of coming off more peculiar than I already am and laugh it off. “But it’s gone missing just like your hoodie. I’m sure it’ll turn up though.”

“I do too.” He stands up straight, shuffling a bit in his stance and I fear the times come to part ways.

I realize I’ll still see Baekhyun in class. I’ll still get to draw him but I know once midnight comes around, what I feel inside might change and I’m unsure if it’ll be for better or worse.

“Thanks again for trying—I really mean it,” he says.

“Wish I could’ve helped more. If I see it, I’ll let you know.”

“Promise?” 

“Absolutely.”

He ends our conversation with his signature smile but before he's out of view, Baekhyun turns around and quickly walks back to me. He angles down slightly to my height. It’s close enough to the point where I can see every speck and glint designed into his umber eyes and count every lash perfectly placed on his lids. He displays the same kindness and light which drew me in from the very beginning while he speaks. “The tag.”

“The tag?”

He nods slowly and just as carefully as the words leaving his lips. “Just in case, when you do see it, the tag inside the hoodie will read—Byun Baekhyun.” He spells out every beautiful letter to his name and it feels as if he’s engraving them into my heart and mind. He does the same thing he did earlier when we were in front of the classroom. His eyes wash over me, from my brows to my nose, even to the sides of my face. He takes it all in. “And I hope,” he whispers, “I hope—you won’t be disappointed tonight.”

His sentiment stays with me. 

It remains etched in the lining of my skin after he leaves and even when I reach my home. It replays over and over in my head and like my parents, he’s given me more questions than answers. But I can’t dwell on it as the hours and minutes dwindle down to midnight. The dread of what’s to come makes its unsettling way into my stomach as the twist and turns provide no comfort.

I watch as the clock counts down into the seconds and my place of refuge has always been the image of Baekhyun. Leaning back against the headboard of my bed, I close my eyes and think of him. His joy, his light. His very existence. I picture it all and if I was asked how I wanted to spend my 20th birthday, this would be it. It would be picturing him and thinking of him. 

With no expectation or hope, I feel the next day unfold and sense the slightest change in the air. It’s minuscule. It’s so small that it’s barely discernible as the faintest breeze washes over me. I slowly open my eyes and feel my heart thrum against the bones of my chest. 

Because what’s placed before me at the foot of my bed is a familiar sapphire blue hoodie. The garment is folded and tucked securely inside a knotted red bow and for a while, I let it sit there. I’m scared to touch it, frightened to even know what it could mean. I never dreamed of this outcome. I tried my hardest never to hope for it or wholly wish for it since the chances of it being true was near impossible. 

I will my hands to unwrap the ribbon and search for the one affirmation to make me believe it’s real—as real as the words he spoke. I search for the tag as my fingers brush over the small piece of fabric. 

And written on it in his handwriting is word for word, letter for letter—

Byun Baekhyun.

[words-writ-in-starlight]

'For reasons wretched and divine', Sarah and Jareth?

Between you and me I wrote three whole pages of a Wild Huntscene, read two romance novels of questionable quality but with a GREATconcept, scrapped the lot, and wrote this AU instead.

For this ask meme!

Some things about archangels just don’t come through overthe TV.

Everyone says as much, but it’s not until Sarah’s standingsix feet from one that she really gets it.  Sarah prides herself onher unflappability—flappable vampire hunters don’t live too long, and Sarah is immaculateas vampire hunters go—but just seeing the Archangel of New York touch downon the roof knocks the air from her lungs. He’s slim, dressed in a loose white shirt that looks like it belongs ona stage, a black vest so tight it’s almost a corset, and his trademark painted-on pants, with wild blond hair,and for a split second Sarah helplessly remembers how many people she knows whowould kill to be this close to him. 

Then he starts walking toward her, eggshell-white and palegold wings mantled behind him and his trademark slim smirk on his lips, andSarah feels her lizard brain sit up straight and inform her that if he wantedto kill her, there wouldn’t be a damn thing she could do about it.  It’snot fear, not really.  Sarah is intimately familiar with fear.  It’sjust inevitability, and for an alarming moment Sarah feels herself lockup like a rabbit in headlights.

“You must be Miss Williams,” he says as he drawsclose to her.  He sounds amused—he always sounds amused, it’s part of whyhe can hold his territory so effortlessly.  It’s hard to contest someonewho won’t even give you the dignity of sounding displeased while he turns thefull brunt of his power on you.  Jareth never sounds more than mildlyinconvenienced, and as a result he’s held North America more or lessuncontested for a long, long time.  

Three years ago, some vampire under Jareth’s command triedto rebel, betrayed him to Maeve, the archangel who holds most of Europe. Unfortunately for the vampire, Maeve told Jareth.  The vampire lived—butjust barely.  Jareth had laughed outright at the one and only reporterwith the brass balls to ask him about it.  Sarah does not want tobe the next cautionary tale about crossing an archangel, and if she’d had anysay in the matter at all, she wouldn’t be here right now.  Angels arepretty to watch and necessary to control vampires, and Sarah is perfectlycomfortable seeing them at a distance, thank you kindly.

But Jareth and the rest of the Cadre want a vampire hunter,and saying no when invited to the Tower isn’t a good way to keep adistance either.  Even the most easygoing archangel is used to beingobeyed, quickly and without a fight, and while there are crueler archangels outthere, Jareth isn’t exactly known for being easygoing.

Sarah realizes abruptly, after solidly ten seconds ofwatching Jareth like a snake about to strike at her, that he’s expecting aresponse, the angle of his smirk going sharper and more amused with each momentof silence.

“Yes,” she says.  “I’m SarahWilliams.”

“Sarah,” he says, consideringly.  He hasn’tever adjusted to the American accent, much less New York, and retains somethingthat sounds most fundamentally British, with a trace of the same exotic,nameless drawl that every angel seems to learn at birth.  It makes hername sound like something rare and strange, rather than one of the most commonnames in history.  Sah-rah.  God, Sarah wants to be out ofhere.  “I’veheard of you.”

That gets her attention.  Normally, vampire huntersoperate in relative obscurity—only someone paying close attention to reports ofescaped vampires or to the Guild’s rare public announcements would have pickedup on her name.  Even though everyone agrees that Sarah is thebest–that’s why she’s here—her childhood dreams of being famous diedwhen she realized she had the gift for tracking vampires.

“I’m flattered,” Sarah says carefully. There’s something about his expression that says you should be withoutthe slightest flicker of change.

“Sit,” he says, gesturing to the tidy table setwith something between a tea service and an elaborate breakfast.  Thechina looks like it might cost as much as Sarah’s apartment, and the neat towerof scones bears the sort of perfect uniformity that only skilled professionalscan manage.  She’s been scrupulously ignoring the table since she reachedthe roof, for fear of more or less this exact situation.  “Eatsomething.  My chefs are the finest in the world, you’ll taste nothinglike their food elsewhere.  Even on a Guild hunter’s paycheck.”

Sarah hesitates, and his gaze sharpens, just slightly.

“Sit,” he repeats.

Sarah sits.  But she doesn’t take any food, nor touchthe numerous pots of tea and coffee.  Something about the way he givesorders, like the world will rush to bend itself to his word, makes herbristle–he’ll get civility from her, but he needs her.  Sarah doesn’tknow for what, not yet, but until such a time as she’s served that purpose,she’s reasonably sure that he won’t cut out her heart and leave it in her handsjust yet.

“Not hungry?” Jareth asks, almost silken, as hesettles across from her, wings flared neatly behind him and one eyebrow cockedas he arranges himself in a casual slouch that is doubtless completelyintentional, right down to the careless drape of his hand on the table.

“Ate before I came,” Sarah lies.

Jareth smiles at her.  It's not news thatarchangels are beautiful, every one of them.  Having every inch ofJareth’s beauty directed at her feels like a revelation, like Sarah’s neverseen beauty before, and it makes her frantic cocktail of nerves and awe andfear settle into a much more comfortable status quo ofslow-burning anger.  

“No,” he says, still smiling.  “Youdidn’t.”

It’s been—a long time, since someone called her out thateffortlessly.  Vampire hunters live and die on their poker faces, andSarah—well, Sarah’s the best.

“Why am I here?” she asks, throwing caution to thewind.  If he wanted her dead, nothing and no one could stop Jareth fromtossing her off the edge of the roof, to drop a hundred and forty-fourstories.  She’s seen how fast archangels can move when they want to, andhonestly, if he wanted to, she probably wouldn’t even have time to reach forher hidden knife before her head parted company with her shoulders.  

That’s very gruesome, Jareth’svoice says in her mind, still threaded with laughter, as if her mental image ofhis long elegant hands neatly ripping her head off is high comedy.  I’mdisappointed.  I’d have expected something more creative from you, Sarah.

“Get out of my head,” Sarah says, forcing hervoice to remain level, “and tell me why I’m here.  The down paymentfor this job was–"  Ludicrous, she wants to say.  Insane. Enough zeroes to fill a textbook.  Instead she opts for somethingapproaching diplomacy and finishes, "Impressive.  Why did you want meso bad?”

Does it matter?  I am prepared to pay you anunfathomable sum of money.

His gaze is fixed on her face, a riveted attention thatdoesn’t match the pose of laconic good humor he’s affected.  His eyes aremismatched, and Sarah used to believe that one was dark.  Now she can see,at such hazardous close range, that they’re both the same shade of impossiblemetallic blue, but that one is all but consumed by pupil, endless black staringback at her with only the thinnest rim of blue around it.  It makes theskin of Sarah’s throat prickle, her heart racing in her chest and her breathingpicking up the pace just enough to make her a little dizzy.  Shedecides immediately that she doesn’t care for the feeling.

Sarah can smell snow—no, frost, she can smell frost andstone, too strongly to be imagining it, but it’s a warm June day and there’snothing near her but concrete.  None of the vampires she met in the Towersmelled of frost and stone, and it’s not a vampire sort of scent anyway. They smell tempting, enticing, like wine or chocolate or even paper, but she’snever met one yet with a scent as unfriendly as frost.  Maybe she’sfinally losing her mind.

Sarah takes a breath, does her best to set the scent aside,and says, "I don’t work for people who won’t tell me what I’m doing,I don’t care what you’re paying me.“

Are you sure?  I could pay you in more thanmoney.  His humor takes on a harder edge inher mind, and a memory surfaces unbidden, of herself as a child dressed up incostume jewelry and dancing around her room, in a young teenager’s bestimpression of a waltz.  The memory is shadowed with her younger self’simaginings, an ornate ballroom and beautiful music, dancers all around not quiteas beautiful as she, and an indistinct prince, looking nowhere but atSarah.  

In the memory, the prince blinks mismatched eyes and says,"I could pay you with your dreams, if you would prefer.”

The air leaves Sarah’s lungs in a rush, and for a moment,she’s herself as a teenager, dressed in a white and silver ballgown out of somebygone era, staring up at Jareth, too much in shock to even answer.

Then she shoves his dream-self away from her, hard,and closes her hand around the blade of the knife hidden at the waistband ofher jeans.

“Stay the fuck out of my memories, Jareth,”Sarah hisses as blood seeps through her fingers.  The pain helps, itclears her head just a little, and the vision of them dancing evaporates likemist under sunlight.  “And tell me what the job is, or I’m goinghome.”

Something in Jareth’s expression cools.  “You lackrespect,” he observes.  Sarah can still feel him, pushing at theouter edge of her mind.  Not trying to break in, just nudging the wholething slightly off kilter, like taping a penny to a gyroscope.  She’spretty sure the penny is labelled obedience, and she sets her jaw.

“Get.  Out."  The words come out groundfine through her teeth, against the sudden pressing urge to agree, agree,agree.  "Fuck off.  Either you hire me as is, or you tossme off this roof.”

“You seem very ready to entertain the latterpossibility."  Jareth’s wings flare around him, idly, and Sarahthinks semi-hysterically that they’re patterned like a barn owl.  Thisisn’t the first time she’s noticed it, but no one ever says it aloud—eventhough his wings look crafted out of barely off-white bone china and palestgold, it’s just too common a bird to safely associate with the Archangelof New York, who holds all their lives in his easily-bored hands. "Do tell, why should I hire someone who clearly has such a death wish asto tell an archangel to fuck off?”

Well, to hell with it, Sarah decides.  Might as well behanged for a sheep as for a lamb.

“Here’s what I’ve figured out,” Sarah says. “You and the Cadre need a hunter—not just any hunter, the best hunter,because Didymus is my friend and he admitted outright to me that you personallycontacted him looking for someone on those terms.  You’re anarchangel–”

“Well spotted,” Jareth says in his mostcoldly entertained tone.  Sarah ignores him and silently hopes thatDidymus will remember to send her bank account details to her brother, alongwith the announcement that, unfortunately, Sarah got mouthy and got herselfkilled by an archangel. 

“—so obviously you don’t need a soldier. Anything youcan’t take out would turn me into a smear on the pavement in under a second.That means you need a bloodhound, and I’m hunter-born, the strongest tracker inNorth America.  So you have an old, powerful vampire who’s managed toelude you—maybe a couple of them.  The most I’ve tracked on a normal jobwas five, so it would need to be quite a few. The only thing I can’tfigure out,” she adds, musing almost to herself, “is why you paid somuch.  You don’t manage your own finances, I assume you have people forthat, so it’s not that you’re unaware of the usual fee per head.  Evenaccounting for hazard pay, it’s way too much.  So all I can think is thatyou wanted to be sure I’d be here, even though only an idiot would meet anarchangel on terms like these, and expected me to say no right away.  Youeven had a table set up, like this was going to be a nice chat rather than ajob interview.  You’ve been trying to make me want to agree, soobviously you think I’m going to say no.  Which would mean…”

For the first time, Sarah follows that thought all the wayto its conclusion and she does not like it.

For the first time, she’s seeing Jareth unamused, and shedoesn’t like that either.  His angular face is harsh without humor, themismatched blue of his eyes sharp enough to slice her to ribbons, and insteadof a smirk, his thin expressive lips are twisted into something alarminglyclose to a snarl.

She wonders if this is the last thing that traitor vampiresaw, before Jareth’s hands broke open his chest and lifted out his heart, stillbeating.

Do continue, precious, hisvoice says in her mind.  It’s not laughing now.  It’s as quick andfrigid as a snowmelt river, and infinitely more lethal, and it tastes likefrost and stone.  Tell me your conclusions.

“You’re desperate,” Sarah says, almost awhisper.  Her voice picks up strength as she goes on.  “Youthink that, whatever this is, it’s so bad that it’ll affect the whole Cadre ofTen.  Something that could hurt archangels.  You want to make sureI’ll work for you, and do it fast and quiet, before anyone can realize there’ssomething wrong.  You’re–” oh God Toby, she’s sorry she’s about todie like a moron “–you’re scared.”

“And tell me, Sarah,” Jareth says aloud, leaningforward.  He doesn’t look casual or careless anymore.  He looks likea falcon in mid-dive, every fiber of him focused on his target.  “Wasthat a difficult conclusion to reach?”

“It was a piece of cake,” Sarah says, numb to thebone with the knowledge that she’s absolutely not going to live throughthis.  Live through this meeting, maybe, if she’s right.  Livethrough the job, increasingly unlikely.  But afterward?  She’s rightthat they’re scared—that something, somehow, has frightened the Cadre, the mostpowerful beings that have ever lived—and that information is an undeniablethreat to them.  

“You’re clever, precious,” Jareth says.  Heleans back and rises to his feet, pacing slowly around the table until he’sstanding next to her, wings mantled around him as he bends down to speak intoher ear.  She can feel his breath on her skin, stirring her hair. The smell of frost rises so sharply that Sarah has to repress a shiver. “You were only wrong about one thing,” he says.

“What was it?"  Sarah does not turn herhead.  She keeps her eyes fixed directly ahead, not allowing them to evenflicker toward him—he’s trying to get a rise out of her, and goddamn him, it’sworking.  She unsettled him and now he’s unsettling her right back.

"I don’t need you to hunt a vampire,” he says, andreaches down to pull her bloodied knife out of the hidden sheath at herwaist.  She shivers properly this time, as he tosses the little knife ontothe table, where the blood still clinging to the ceramic blade stains the whitetablecloth.  Some security guy is going to have a very unpleasantconversation with an archangel, unless she’s mistaken, for letting her get thatpast the front door.

Jareth brushes her hair back behind her ear and murmurs, lowand sweet and lethal, “I need you to hunt an archangel.”

[tnystrk-exe]

Reckless and Impulsive

Tony Stark x Reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 End

Baby Steps

Home

Learning to Live

The rapid taps of his mother’s heels was all Tony could hear behind him. He sped up his pace, smirking when Maria’s heels did the same.

“You know I can watch over myself for a couple moments throughout the day? It’s actually a really simple skill,” Tony teased, spinning on his heel to face her.

“Tony, you set yourself on fire yesterday.”

“Details. Small details, really. Let’s just be glad I installed a fire extinguisher to my robot after the last time.”

“Exactly, Tony, the last time. I love you, so much,” Maria stroked, her son’s cheek lovingly, “Sometimes, I think you’re going to give me a heart attack with how reckless and impulsive you can be.”

“I don’t plan on doing that to you anytime soon,” he chuckled, “The plan is to make sure you get all grey and old. You’re only going to die because you’re so tired of seeing me around.”

“Never,” she sighed, smile on her lips, “I’ll distract your father today, just to make sure he doesn’t work you too hard during this vacation.”

“See? Getting tired of me already,” he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, “I’ll make myself scarce. You’ll get no trouble from me today.”

Tony turned away again and started walking in the direction with the most noise. His father wanted to show how family inclusive Stark Industries was by buying passage on a cruise for a number of his workers and their family’s and organizing a work conference. Obviously, that meant he’d be dragged along. What better way to prove you’re family oriented then by pretending to love your son?

He drove the thought from his mind and steeled his gaze. Stark men were made of iron. No reason in showing unnecessary emotion. It was one of the first things he learned as a child.

“I’m just saying, we should have had an option of whether we wanted to come or not. Howard Stark doesn’t get to chose where he wants me to be just because my mom works for him,” he looked over to get a good glimpse of the complaining girl. “It’s nice and all. Don’t get me wrong. I just wanted to get a couple of things done.”

“If it’s any help,” he said moving to sit on the empty chair beside her, “even if your mom didn’t work for him, he’d still tell you what to do. Though, that’s just my experience. I suspect me being his kid and all messes up that data in the long run. Tony.” He offered her his hand.

She shook his hand, “YN. Yeah, that probably makes your research null. If it’s any help, the rest of us being here helps prove your theory, genius boy.”

“I scared off your friends.”

“They were all introverted and we’re afraid of doing something to get their parents fired. Let’s face it, Tony Stark is the one to avoid if you got those two things checked off on your list.”

“Can’t argue with those facts. What about you?”

“I was brooding in a corner. They flocked around me. If your asking if I’m going to run away from you, I was here first genius boy.”

“Why do you keep calling me that?”

“It was the first headline I read on my own, ‘Genius Boy Tony Stark builds circuit board at the age of four.’ It’s just association.”

“You know Howard wasn’t impressed? He kept saying it could be better and improved.”

“I would have been such a disappointment in your family. I could have made you look good, Stark. Just starting to read at four versus building tech at four? The competition would have died right away.”

“Then there’s mom who has absolutely no faith in me.”

“I can feel that, you set your bed on fire once and sometimes forget to look at both sides of the street and suddenly you’re labeled reckless.”

Tony, laughed, “But have you set yourself on fire?”

“...Yes.”

He stared at you before finally losing it. “I miscalculated and hadn’t slept for like a week. Woke up to my jacket sleeve cooking. You?”

“It was this dude’s birthday and they asked me to make him the cake. So they got me all the stuff. I noticed at the end that instead of getting a five and a zero they got a bunch of those single candles. By the time it’s lit up it looks like someone started a bonfire in the house. Of course my dumbass walked in front of a fan with the damned thing. So this side of my hair has been burnt.”

“Ah,” He let his fingers slide through your hair, “It grew back nice.”

“Should hope so, mom wouldn’t let me cut it. I smelled like burned hair for a week.”

“Our parents think we’re hopeless cases.”

“They really do.”

“Let’s get married,” he joked, “show them how reckless we could really be.”

“I don’t know, Stark. I’m already committed in a long, healthy fake marriage.”

“Get a fake divorce.”

“What about my children?” You asked keeping up the charade.

“I’ll raise them like my own.”

“Oh, Tony!” You pulled him in for a hug and whispered in his ear, “Do a proposal so that it’s more believable to our parents.”

“YN...” he started as sank down to one knee, “We haven’t known each other for years, months, weeks, or even a day. It’s just so easy for me to see that you’re the one I’m meant to be with. You aren’t afraid of me for my status and you’re funny, smart, and maybe a bit of an arsonist. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?” He asked pulling off a ring he was wearing on his own hand, presenting it to you.

“Tony! Tony! Yes!”

The crowd already started going off into gossiping circles. Trying to figure out what exactly had happened.

“Come on, future Mrs. Stark. Time to find someone on this ship to marry us off.” Tony grabbed your hand and led you away from the noisy area.

“I’m sure the crew can help with that, the first mate can officiate marriages.” You took the led and took him to someone who looked like they could help.

“We need to get married,” Tony said, straight to the point, “Not for real, obviously, but we just want to prank our parents. Do you think that could happen?”

“Well, Mr. Stark, I don’t know how exactly the captain will feel about it, but we can go talk to him. I’m on board with it.” The woman led the two teenagers to where the captain could be found.

Tony took care of all the planning. He usually could get what he wanted by just being charming. Which was most of the time if the person he was trying to charm wasn’t Howard.

The whole crew seemed excited about being in on the prank. It was agreed that the whole ordeal would take place during dinner. No one would think twice about the dinner hall looking a little more lavish or people being dressed up more than usual. Anyway the parents of the reckless fiancés in question were sure to be there.

“Ready to be my wife in two hours?” He asked, tearing your attention away from the movie the two of you had been watching while you waited for dinner.

You took a moment to think, your hand played with the ring he had given you earlier. “As far as a fake husband goes you have great qualities.”

He rolled his eyes, “Money?”

You made a face at that, “If I really cared about your money, I’d be pushing to make you my real husband. Look, I like you. I want to be your friend, but if you think I’m gonna be someone that’s around just because you have money,” you shook your head, “I need you to change that mentality for me. Be careful around other people. I don’t need anything but friendship from you, genius boy.”

He nodded and turned his attention back to the tv. “There are worst people to be fake married to as far as I’m concerned I lucked out. You’re the first person who has ever said that, by the way,” the usually cocky boy mumbled so quietly you thought you had imagined it.

“Keep me around longer and I’ll tell you more nice things.”

He smiled, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

When the movie ended you both got up.

“Time to get ready.”

You nodded, “Can’t wait.”

Grabbing your clothes you went into the bathroom to prepare. Tony had made a stop to his place before the two of you had made it to your room. It was easier if he got dressed at your place, less of a chance to run into Howard and change the plans.

Stepping out of the bathroom you took a second to admire his outfit, “Aw honey, you’re matching with me already.”

“Dear, just making sure everyone knows who you belong to,” he winked, “Besides, doesn’t a wedding require some form of color coordination?”

“Maybe so, either way I don’t belong to you,” you led him out of the room by his tie, “Ready to disappoint our parents?”

“That’s an everyday occurrence.”

A crew member met with you at the entrance of the dinning hall. He told you to wait a second so that he could inform the captain of your arrival.

“Ladies and gentleman, tonight a very special request was made of the crew. Two people in love asked us to marry them this beautiful evening,” someone started playing the piano, “They requested to come in together, as they can’t bear a moment apart. I now present you with the soon go be husband and wife!” A small cheer erupted from the diners.

“That’s our cue, dear, you ready?”

“Let’s get this done, honey.”

The two of you stepped into the lavish dinning hall. Smiling as happily as could be, after all it was your wedding day. The two of you stopped in front of the first mate, holding each other’s hands, and looking as if your love couldn’t be contained. You spared a glance at the crowd searching for your mother who was stunned in her seat, Howard and Maria in very much the same position. A quick speech was said before he asked if their were any vows prepared.

“No, lets skip to the good part already. The missus and I can trade all the sweet nothings we want in a moment,” he answered coyly.

The crowed laughed as you blushed.

“Very well, do you YN LN take Anthony Edward Stark as your lawfully wedded husband until death do you part?”

“I do.”

“And do you Anthony Edward Stark take YN LN as your lawfully wedded wife until death do you part?”

“I do.”

“You may now kiss the bride.”

For some reason you hadn’t though this far. You felt Tony reach out and lean towards you, all you could do was mimic the motions before his lips fell on yours. As the two of you kissed the crowd cheered, breaking the two of you out of the kiss and waking your parents from the shock they just received.

“Tony!” Came dual yells.

“YN!” Your mother yelled at the same time.

Tony grabbed your hand, “Well, thank you all! Mrs. and Mr. Stark got some business to settle now. Glad to see everyone!” With that he ran leading you out into the halls. Both of you laughing so hard your sides hurt. “Here, we can hide out here for a second.” He pulled you into a closet.

“They’re pissed.”

“It great. I didn’t think we’d get far enough to become husband and wife.”

“I thought they would have broken it up any second.”

“The kiss was good too,” he chuckled, “Even I believed it for a moment. What are we doing for our honeymoon?”

“Let’s just look at the stars?” You asked simply, “I don’t think they’ll look for us. Especially if they thing were consummating the marriage. Let’s just look at the stars?”

“Whatever my wife wants she gets,” He stated, opening the closet.

The deck, luckily, was empty. The two of you sprawled out on the floor, watching the sky for a couple of hours. The peace was disturbed when Tony sat up and shed his suit jacket. He threw it on top of you as a make shift blanket before laying back down and making you lay your head on his chest.

“Night, dear,” he said as pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

“Night, honey.” You pressed a kiss to his chest before turning your attention back to the sky.

[lindafrancois]

Active Recovery Ultimate Guide: What Should I Do on Rest Days?

“Steve, what am I supposed to do on days when I’m not training?”

It’s a great question and one we receive quite frequently here at Nerd Fitness.

With our coaching clients, not only do we create workout schedules for them, we also help them utilize “off days” with active recovery. 

Have your Nerd Fitness Coach create a complete workout routine, including active recovery! Learn more here:

Today, we’ll share with you the exact same lessons (click to jump to that section): 

Is it good to work out every day? (Why you need rest days)

What should I do on gym rest days? (Active Recovery)

Rest Day Workout 1: Mobility

Rest Day Workout 2: Fun Activities

Rest Day Workout 3: Intervals, Sprints, and Walking

Rest Day Workout 4: Yoga

Rest Day Workout 5: Foam Roller

Making the most of your days off (3 Rest Day Best Practices) 

Is It Good to Work out Every Day? (Why You Need Rest Days)

We advise our coaching clients to train 3 days per week with full-body strength training routines.

This would include lots of compound movements like squats, push-ups, overhead presses, and deadlifts. 

These exercises work multiple muscle groups at once, resulting in an efficient, functional, strategy for strength building and weight loss.

Here’s the important science for today’s lesson: your muscles are actually broken down during your workout.

When challenged enough, they tear during the exercise and only start to grow back during the 24-48 hours after training.[1]

That’s why it doesn’t benefit us to train the same muscles every day; we don’t want to destroy them without giving them a chance to grow back stronger.

If you follow our advice and do full-body strength training workouts 2-3 times a week, the question “How many days a week should I rest?” can be answered with “around 4 or 5 days without heavy lifting.”

So, does this give you free rein to binge-watch your favorite show on “days off from the gym?”

While I’m not going to tell you to delete your Netflix account (the horror), I do want to talk about making the most of your time away from the gym.

What Should I Do on Gym Rest Days? (Active Recovery)

The biggest problem most people have with off days is that they become cheat days! 

Because they’re not training, they’re not thinking about being fit and it’s much easier to slack off, eat poorly, and lose momentum.

This is bad news bears.

Remember, exercise is only 10-20% of the weight loss equation: how we eat and rest is the other 80-90%!

Personally, I know I am far less likely to eat poorly when I’m doing some active recovery than when I’m not doing anything deliberately.

So plan your off days!

They’re not “off days,” they’re “recovery days,” and they serve a vital role in building an antifragile kickass body capable of fighting crime (or roughhousing with your kids in the backyard).

Whether it’s scheduling one of the Rest Day Workouts below at the same time you normally train every day, or deliberately adding a morning mobility/stretching routine to your day, doing SOMETHING every day is a great way to remind ourselves “I am changing my life and I exercise daily.”

Which leads us to the idea of “active recovery.”

Active recovery is any gentle movement designed to help your muscles heal after training. 

It’s a subject we discuss in our guide on DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness). 

When you exercise, you increase blood flow to your muscles. By moving your body, you’re actually speeding up your recovery.[2]

The trick is to be active enough to increase blood flow, but gentle enough that you allow the muscles to heal. 

Our Rest Day Workouts below will walk that fine line.

On days when I’m not training, I try to block off a similar amount of time to work on myself in some way to maintain momentum, and I encourage you to do the same if you lose momentum when taking a day off.

It could be flexibility training, mobility training, meal prep, and more. I’ll cover these below! Whatever it is, do SOMETHING every day, even if it’s for just five minutes, to remind yourself that you are making progress towards your new life.

Need help building a weekly workout schedule, including rest days? I have two options for you.

The first is to get your hands dirty and check out our guide “How To Build Your Own Workout Routine.” It’ll walk you through everything you need to design a day-to-day exercise plan.

Alternatively, we can do all of the heavy lifting for you (well, not ALL the heavy lifting) – we’ll create a specific routine so all you have to do is log into your NF Coaching App each morning and do the workout your coach prescribed!

Never wonder what to do next. Learn how our coaching app can tell you exactly what to do every day!

Rest Day Workout 1: Mobility

We’ve all felt that soreness the day after (or two days after) strength training or from an intense run – our muscles have been broken down and are incredibly tight from all of the heavy lifting.

For that reason, one of the best things you can do on an off day is to work on your flexibility and mobility. After all, what good is strength if we can’t move our body properly to utilize it! Dynamic stretching and mobility work helps prepare our body for the rigors of strength training and keeps us injury free!

Regardless of whether or not you have a training day scheduled, start each morning with a mobility warm-up: a series of dynamic movements that gets your body activated and wakes up your muscles, joints, and tendons. If you live in an apartment or are just getting started, feel free to leave out the jumping jacks:

This gives us a chance every morning to check in with our bodies and reminds us mentally “I am leveling up physically, might as well eat right today too.”

Here’s another favorite mobility routine from my friend (and coach) Anthony Mychal. It says it’s a warm-up for tricking, but it’s quite helpful for those of us mere mortals: 

If you spend all day at a desk, doing some basic mobility movements throughout the day can keep your hips loose and keep you thinking positively. Here’s an article on how to dominate posture at your desk job.

Rest Day Workout 2: Fun Activities

We are genetically designed to move, not sit on our asses for 60+ hours a week. Not only that, but we are genetically designed to have fun doing so too!

Which means we can spend time on our off days working on our happiness AND staying active at the same time.

This fun activity can mean something different for everybody:

Go for a bike ride with your kids

Go for a run around your neighborhood

Play kickball in a city league (I play on Thursdays!)

Play softball

Swim

Go for a walk with your significant other

Go rock climbing

Learn martial arts like Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or Capoeira or Kung Fu

Take a dance class

Try Live Action Role-Playing (LARP!)

Play on a playground

Roll down a hill and run back up it

Check out our guide “40 Fun Exercises! Exercise Without Realizing It” for even more ideas!

I honestly don’t care WHAT you do, as long as it’s something you truly enjoy doing – it should put a smile on your face and gets your heart pumping.

Exercise does not need to be exhausting or miserable. If you haven’t found an activity you enjoy yet, you haven’t tried enough new things.

The point is to get outside, remember it’s a damn good day to be alive, and that we are built to move.

Helping clients discover exercise they love is one of the key components of our Online Coaching Program. Whether it’s learning parkour, hiking in a nearby forest, or heading to the gym to grab a barbell, we help clients discover their passion so working out becomes enjoyable.

Our coaching program makes getting healthy fun. Seriously! Learn how we can help you on your journey.

Rest Day Workout 3: Intervals, Sprints, and Walking

“But Steve, I have this big party coming up and I really am trying to lose as much weight as possible.”

Okay okay, I hear you – if that’s the case, then 90% of the battle is going to be with your diet. You should focus your energy on healthy eating in order to lose weight. But there are SOME things you can do on your off days that can help you burn more calories:

1) Interval Training –  In interval training, you’ll be varying your running pace. This means you may switch between jogging and walking, or walking and sprinting (there are few different methods of interval training). This training style can help speed up your metabolism for the hours after you finish.

2) Sprinting – If you like the idea of burning extra calories and building explosive power and speed, check out our article on becoming the Flash. Find a hill, sprint up it, walk down, and repeat the process for 10-20 minutes. No need to overthink it!

3) Long walks – Walking is a low-impact activity that burns extra calories and doesn’t overly tax your body. What a “long walk” will be is different for everybody based on their level of fitness, but walking is one of the best things you can do for yourself!

If you want to take a more active recovery day, the most important thing is to listen to your body. Destroying ourselves for 6+ days a week can really wear us down, causing long term problems if we’re not careful.[3]

Rest Day Workout 4: Yoga

You might not realize it, but yoga is the perfect complement to strength training:

Strength training makes us stronger, but it can tighten up our muscles and make us sore.

Yoga, on the other hand, lengthens our muscles and tendons,[4] aids in their recovery,[5] and helps our body develop better mobility and flexibility.[6]

It’s the perfect way to create a strong AND mobile body, ready for anything and everything we throw at it.

It’s kind of like turning your body into a swiss-army knife: prepared to be strong, flexible enough to avoid injury, and truly antifragile.

Now, if you’ve never been to a yoga class before, it can certainly be intimidating, especially if you’re a ones-and-zeros programmer wary of the practice’s more spiritual aspects.

That was my concern years ago before I got started with it; I had to muster up 20 seconds of courage to attend my first yoga class, and I’m so glad I did.

Here’s how to get started with Yoga!

Nearly any commercial gym you join will have yoga classes.

Most yoga studios have classes throughout the day.

Follow a plethora of videos online if you want to get started at home.

In fact, here’s a beginner routine you can follow from Nerd Fitness right now:

If you like how we do things around here and that video piqued your interest, consider checking out our full-length course, Nerd Fitness Yoga:

6 full 30-min workout routines you can follow along to:

Download or stream the routines anytime, anywhere, on any device.

Mini-mobility sessions to help you deal with a sore back, tight shoulders, poor posture, etc.

We’re super proud of Nerd Fitness Yoga, and I’d love for you to check it out! It comes with a 60-day money back guarantee!

Need help with any of the poses? Check out 21 Yoga Poses for Beginners for guidance on all positions.

Rest Day Workout 5: Foam Roller

You’ll often hear using a foam roller as “self-myofascial release.”

You may be asking, “myofawhatnow?”

Don’t stress, because “fascia” is just the connective tissue covering muscle. 

Just know that “self-myofascial release” means giving yourself a tissue massage.

The important thing for today’s lesson: a rolling massage has been shown to help alleviate muscle soreness.[7] Which means it’s a perfect inclusion for active recovery.

Here’s some simple rolling exercises you can try today, courtesy of NF Coach Matt: 

Yes, that is in fact a T-Rex. Yes, it was 100% Matt’s idea.

If you want even more information, including recommendations on which type of roller to purchase, check out our guide “How to Use a Foam Roller.”

Making the Most of Your Days Off (3 Rest Day Best Practices)

No matter what you end up doing on your rest day, here are some best practices to keep in mind. 

Rest Day Best Practice #1: Meal Prep

As we know, a healthy body is made in the kitchen, not in the gym.

It’s important to stay diligent with healthy nutrition even on days when you’re not hitting the gym.

One of the best ways to do that is to use one of your non-training days to prepare your meals for the week! NF Coach Staci Ardison does all of her meal prep for the week on Sundays, and looks at it like an activity that is furthering her fitness journey.

Interested?

Staci walks you through everything you need to start cooking for the week in our Guide to Meal Planning and Prep. Plus, here’s my exact recipe for batch cooking chicken:

Rest Day Best Practice #2: Engage Your Brain

I like to use one of my off days to break a mental sweat too!

On Tuesdays, I take fiddle lessons, which is a mental workout so taxing that I can’t wait to get back to deadlifts!

Learn a language, build a table out of wood, or go play chess with a friend. 

Anything that forces your mind beyond its comfort zone engages your brain. A great way to spend your time away from the gym.

Rest Day Best Practice #3: Have Fun!

Whether it’s playing a video game, getting caught up on a movie or TV show, or reading a book, it’s important for us to do the nerdy or fun things that make us who we are.

As the Rules of the Rebellion state: fitness can become part of what we do, but not at the expense of who we are!

I’m currently playing through The Last of Us: Part II, and it makes me happy our current apocalypse isn’t as bad as that one.

If you live for playing Dungeons and Dragons with friends, make room for it on your calendar. 

Just like it’s important to schedule health and fitness, it’s important to schedule fun.

This guide has provided you with all the tools you need to begin an active recovery practice and to make the most of your rest days.

If you’re looking to go a bit further, I have three options for you…

1) If you want step-by-step guidance creating a workout schedule, getting stronger, and even eating better, check out our killer 1-on-1 coaching program:

Our coaching program changes lives. Learn more here!

2) Exercising at home and need a plan to follow? Have questions you need answered? Join Nerd Fitness Prime!

Nerd Fitness Prime is our premium membership program that contains at-home exercise routines, live-streamed workouts with NF Coaches, a supportive online community, group challenges, and much more! 

Learn more about Nerd Fitness Prime!

#3) Join The Rebellion! We have a free email newsletter that we send out twice per week, full of tips and tricks to help you get healthy, get strong, and have fun doing so. 

I’ll also send you tons of free guides that you can use to start leveling up your life too:

Get your Nerd Fitness Starter Kit

The 15 mistakes you don’t want to make.

Full guide to the most effective diet and why it works.

Complete and track your first workout today, no gym required.

Alright, your turn: How do you stay on target even on days when you’re not “training?”

I’d love to hear from you – do you take the day off completely? Do you challenge yourself in a different way?  Do you try to do something every day to keep the momentum up, or do you actually take days off?

Leave it in the comments!

-Steve 

PS: Another good rest day activity? Take a nap!

Your body does quite a lot of its healing during sleep. Get some proper shut-eye.

###

Photo sources: sleepyhead, A good Sunday to you, resting cat, Rain doesn’t stop a photographer, soccer player, Run, foam roller, back to vacation,

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

A meta analysis found that 1 to 2 rest days between workout sessions was optimal for muscle repair, although they included a caveat that the intensity of the exercise would impact this: “A meta-analysis to determine the dose response for strength development.”(PubMed)

Check out this study on active recovery and DOMS: “An Evidence-Based Approach for Choosing Post-exercise Recovery Techniques to Reduce Markers of Muscle Damage, Soreness, Fatigue, and Inflammation” (PubMed)

Check out this sudy on the importance of resting for 48 hours after intense cardio: “The effects of exercise-induced muscle damage on cycling time-trial performance” (PudMed)

Check out this study on yoga and flexibility in the eldery: Flexibility of the elderly after one-year practice of yoga and calisthenics. (PubMed)

This study showed yoga helping to reduce DOMS: “The effects of yoga training and a single bout of yoga on delayed onset muscle soreness in the lower extremity.” (PubMed)

This study showed college athletes obtaining better balance and flexibility in only 10 weeks of yoga: “Impact of 10-weeks of yoga practice on flexibility and balance of college athletes”(PubMed)

The study on foam rolling and muscle soreness: “Pain pressure threshold of a muscle tender spot increases following local and non-local rolling massage: PubMed”

Active Recovery Ultimate Guide: What Should I Do on Rest Days? published first on https://dietariouspage.tumblr.com/

[themoneybuff-blog]

Could Waking Up an Hour Earlier Change Your Life?

Getting enough exercise has always been an issue for me, mostly because I think working out is so incredibly boring. I love the initial rush I get when I hop on my elliptical or take a brisk walk through the neighborhood, but I always wind up counting down the seconds until Ive satisfied my goal for the day whatever it is. The humdrum of repetitive movement is bad enough, but I also struggle to find the time. Not only do I have two kids ages 7 and 9, but I work full-time and I have groceries to buy, meals to make, and a home to take care of. We also have piano lessons, gymnastics classes, and an array of school activities to plan for each week. I love my life, but its also exhausting. My husband and I have tried several strategies to get a workout in each day. For a while, we tried getting up at 6:30 a.m. before the kids get up at 7 a.m., but we would get out of our routine quickly if one of us overslept. We also tried doing our exercise videos in the late afternoon for a while, but we were always so distracted. After all, its hard to crank out a T-25 video when the kids are home and asking 300 questions the entire time. The obvious answer here is one Ive fought against for as long as I can remember getting up even earlier. If I could just get out of bed long before everyone else does, I would have plenty of time for exercise without my kids asking for things or any other distractions. Why I Started Getting Up Earlier Earlier this year, I decided that I had finally had it with constantly failing to achieve my goals. While I have never been one to get out of bed super early, I started setting the alarm for 5:55 a.m. Thats not so early that it makes me miserable, but it gives me plenty of time to drink some coffee and do 25 minutes on my Bowflex M3 Max Trainer. And, my oh my, what a difference this has made! Now that I have the hang of getting up early, I have no excuse not to work out. I never feel rushed or distracted, and I am in much better physical and mental shape. I also feel like Im in a much better mood and much more prepared to handle whatever life throws my way. Simply put, the change has been amazing! The thing is, this isnt really all that surprising. Ive read countless articles about the virtues of rising early for years, and many successful people swear by this practice. For example, Apple CEO Tim Cook reportedly gets up at 3:45 a.m., and Ellevest CEO Sallie Krawcheck gets up at 4 a.m. Plenty of other successful early risers have been profiled in publications like Business Insider and Forbes, and the story is usually the same. People who get a lot done believe that getting up earlier gives them more time and more mental energy to be successful. And, while a lot of people believe that staying up late can also help them gain more free time, getting up early is usually the more advantageous option. Either strategy can give you more hours in the day, but financial advisor and life coach Natalie Bacon says that waking up early is way more helpful for a few reasons including the fact that you generally dont have what she calls decision fatigue in the mornings. Your brain is ready to go and isnt tired, she says. Even if youre a night person, you still run the risk of being more exhausted at the end of the day because youvebeen making decisions all day long. How Getting Up One Hour Earlier Can Improve Your Life If youre someone who wishes you had more hours in the day and more time to get things done, you may be wondering if getting up early is the answer youve been looking for. Here are a few reasons you may want to set your alarm clock an hour earlier from now on. You can live more intentionally. Bacon says that getting up can give you the time and space to be the creator of your life instead of responding, reacting, and putting out fires. When you wake up as late as possible, youre constantly having to rush to solve problems and prepare for the day, whereas getting up earlier can help you plan your day more intentionally. While Bacon works full-time as a life coach now, she used to work on her side hustle on top of her full-time financial planning job. Instead of burning the midnight oil to get things done, Bacon said she would wake up at 4 a.m. to brainstorm for her new business. This way, I knew that I got it done no matter what. Nothing could interfere with it, she said. Getting up early helped her be more intentional in this case because she was prioritizing her goals instead of waiting to see if she had time for them later in the day. You can work toward big goals or your own peace of mind. Most of us have something we wish we could accomplish, whether thats exercising more, learning a new language, or pursuing higher education. While it can be difficult to find time to accomplish anything when youre working and raising a family, getting up early can buy you the time to work on these goals a little bit at a time. Bacon also said that morning time is excellent for self-care that you cant find time for during regular daytime hours. If youre not working on a business goal, you can wake up early to read, journal, meditate, or pray basically anything that improves your state of mind or makes you happier. A morning routine with specific habits, even if theyre small, can compound over time to have a huge positive impact on your life, she says. You could finally get in shape. I already mentioned how I get up early for the sole purpose of drinking coffee and working out. For me, early morning is really the only time I can exercise consistently and without interruption. And since I sit at a computer all day long, I have to work out. Todd Mitchem, who is a life coach, speaker, and the author of You Disrupted: Seizing the Life You Want by Shaking, Breaking, and Challenging Everything, says that its pretty common for fitness-minded people to use their mornings to take care of their health. And really, mornings may be the only time for people like me (who have to force themselves to work out) to make it happen. If you have a busy family, the early morning is often the only quiet time in the house for you to take care of you without distractions, he says. The rest of the day and evening is usually jam-packed with family time and errands, and it is way too easy to put exercise off. But most people dont face these challenges when they work out first thing. How to Wake Up Early When You Dont Want to While I never like the sound of an alarm clock and especially not at 5:55 a.m. Ive gotten used to hopping out of bed without hitting the snooze button once. Im a coffee junkie, so I just set my coffee maker to start brewing early and remind myself that a warm cup of my favorite beverage is waiting for me downstairs. That may not work for everyone, but it does work for me. Mitchem says that if youre struggling to wake up early, you can start small and set the alarm clock back slowly over time. For example, you could start by waking up just 15 minutes earlier for a few weeks. From there, you could set your alarm back another 15 minutes slowly until youre getting up at the exact hour you desire. Also remember that you dont have to wake up at 4 a.m., like some CEOs do, to have more free time. A schedule of waking up just 15 minutes earlier each day, for example, will gain you over an hour in just the first week without wrecking your life in the process, said Mitchem. Bacon also says that, if youre someone whos always struggling to get out of bed until the last minute, you may need to focus on reorganizing your life so you can go to bed earlier. Getting up early starts the night before, she says. You need to consciously choose to go to bed early enough that you feel good about getting up early. That might mean cutting yourThe Walking Deadbinge off earlier than normal or getting in bed and turning off the lights instead of scrolling Facebook on your phone. It may also mean going to bed even if other members of your household are awake, which isnt always easy. You may even need to let yourself be exhausted for a while to give your body time to reset to a new sleeping schedule. If you get up early several days in a row, for example, it should start getting easier to go to bed at a decent hour. The Bottom Line If you wish you had more time and cant seem to meet your goals, getting out of bed earlier might be exactly what you need. Whether you dial back the alarm 15 minutes or an hour, that extra time could help you have the time to accomplish simple tasks, take better care of your health, or simply relax and enjoy some peace and quiet for once. But, dont take my word for it. Try getting up an hour earlier for a week to see how it feels. Schlepping out of bed at the crack of dawn may not be easy, but you may find that its worth it. Holly Johnson is an award-winning personal finance writer and the author ofZero Down Your Debt. Johnson shares her obsession with frugality, budgeting, and travel atClubThrifty.com. Related Stories: https://www.thesimpledollar.com/could-waking-up-an-hour-earlier-change-your-life/

[lindafrancois]

Active Recovery Ultimate Guide: What Should I Do on Rest Days?

“Steve, what am I supposed to do on days when I’m not training?”

It’s a great question and one we receive quite frequently here at Nerd Fitness.

With our coaching clients, not only do we create workout schedules for them, we also help them utilize “off days” with active recovery. 

Have your Nerd Fitness Coach create a complete workout routine, including active recovery! Learn more here:

Today, we’ll share with you the exact same lessons (click to jump to that section): 

Is it good to work out every day? (Why you need rest days)

What should I do on gym rest days? (Active Recovery)

Rest Day Workout 1: Mobility

Rest Day Workout 2: Fun Activities

Rest Day Workout 3: Intervals, Sprints, and Walking

Rest Day Workout 4: Yoga

Rest Day Workout 5: Foam Roller

Making the most of your days off (3 Rest Day Best Practices) 

Is It Good to Work out Every Day? (Why You Need Rest Days)

We advise our coaching clients to train 3 days per week with full-body strength training routines.

This would include lots of compound movements like squats, push-ups, overhead presses, and deadlifts. 

These exercises work multiple muscle groups at once, resulting in an efficient, functional, strategy for strength building and weight loss.

Here’s the important science for today’s lesson: your muscles are actually broken down during your workout.

When challenged enough, they tear during the exercise and only start to grow back during the 24-48 hours after training.[1]

That’s why it doesn’t benefit us to train the same muscles every day; we don’t want to destroy them without giving them a chance to grow back stronger.

If you follow our advice and do full-body strength training workouts 2-3 times a week, the question “How many days a week should I rest?” can be answered with “around 4 or 5 days without heavy lifting.”

So, does this give you free rein to binge-watch your favorite show on “days off from the gym?”

While I’m not going to tell you to delete your Netflix account (the horror), I do want to talk about making the most of your time away from the gym.

What Should I Do on Gym Rest Days? (Active Recovery)

The biggest problem most people have with off days is that they become cheat days! 

Because they’re not training, they’re not thinking about being fit and it’s much easier to slack off, eat poorly, and lose momentum.

This is bad news bears.

Remember, exercise is only 10-20% of the weight loss equation: how we eat and rest is the other 80-90%!

Personally, I know I am far less likely to eat poorly when I’m doing some active recovery than when I’m not doing anything deliberately.

So plan your off days!

They’re not “off days,” they’re “recovery days,” and they serve a vital role in building an antifragile kickass body capable of fighting crime (or roughhousing with your kids in the backyard).

Whether it’s scheduling one of the Rest Day Workouts below at the same time you normally train every day, or deliberately adding a morning mobility/stretching routine to your day, doing SOMETHING every day is a great way to remind ourselves “I am changing my life and I exercise daily.”

Which leads us to the idea of “active recovery.”

Active recovery is any gentle movement designed to help your muscles heal after training. 

It’s a subject we discuss in our guide on DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness). 

When you exercise, you increase blood flow to your muscles. By moving your body, you’re actually speeding up your recovery.[2]

The trick is to be active enough to increase blood flow, but gentle enough that you allow the muscles to heal. 

Our Rest Day Workouts below will walk that fine line.

On days when I’m not training, I try to block off a similar amount of time to work on myself in some way to maintain momentum, and I encourage you to do the same if you lose momentum when taking a day off.

It could be flexibility training, mobility training, meal prep, and more. I’ll cover these below! Whatever it is, do SOMETHING every day, even if it’s for just five minutes, to remind yourself that you are making progress towards your new life.

Need help building a weekly workout schedule, including rest days? I have two options for you.

The first is to get your hands dirty and check out our guide “How To Build Your Own Workout Routine.” It’ll walk you through everything you need to design a day-to-day exercise plan.

Alternatively, we can do all of the heavy lifting for you (well, not ALL the heavy lifting) – we’ll create a specific routine so all you have to do is log into your NF Coaching App each morning and do the workout your coach prescribed!

Never wonder what to do next. Learn how our coaching app can tell you exactly what to do every day!

Rest Day Workout 1: Mobility

We’ve all felt that soreness the day after (or two days after) strength training or from an intense run – our muscles have been broken down and are incredibly tight from all of the heavy lifting.

For that reason, one of the best things you can do on an off day is to work on your flexibility and mobility. After all, what good is strength if we can’t move our body properly to utilize it! Dynamic stretching and mobility work helps prepare our body for the rigors of strength training and keeps us injury free!

Regardless of whether or not you have a training day scheduled, start each morning with a mobility warm-up: a series of dynamic movements that gets your body activated and wakes up your muscles, joints, and tendons. If you live in an apartment or are just getting started, feel free to leave out the jumping jacks:

This gives us a chance every morning to check in with our bodies and reminds us mentally “I am leveling up physically, might as well eat right today too.”

Here’s another favorite mobility routine from my friend (and coach) Anthony Mychal. It says it’s a warm-up for tricking, but it’s quite helpful for those of us mere mortals: 

If you spend all day at a desk, doing some basic mobility movements throughout the day can keep your hips loose and keep you thinking positively. Here’s an article on how to dominate posture at your desk job.

Rest Day Workout 2: Fun Activities

We are genetically designed to move, not sit on our asses for 60+ hours a week. Not only that, but we are genetically designed to have fun doing so too!

Which means we can spend time on our off days working on our happiness AND staying active at the same time.

This fun activity can mean something different for everybody:

Go for a bike ride with your kids

Go for a run around your neighborhood

Play kickball in a city league (I play on Thursdays!)

Play softball

Swim

Go for a walk with your significant other

Go rock climbing

Learn martial arts like Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or Capoeira or Kung Fu

Take a dance class

Try Live Action Role-Playing (LARP!)

Play on a playground

Roll down a hill and run back up it

Check out our guide “40 Fun Exercises! Exercise Without Realizing It” for even more ideas!

I honestly don’t care WHAT you do, as long as it’s something you truly enjoy doing – it should put a smile on your face and gets your heart pumping.

Exercise does not need to be exhausting or miserable. If you haven’t found an activity you enjoy yet, you haven’t tried enough new things.

The point is to get outside, remember it’s a damn good day to be alive, and that we are built to move.

Helping clients discover exercise they love is one of the key components of our Online Coaching Program. Whether it’s learning parkour, hiking in a nearby forest, or heading to the gym to grab a barbell, we help clients discover their passion so working out becomes enjoyable.

Our coaching program makes getting healthy fun. Seriously! Learn how we can help you on your journey.

Rest Day Workout 3: Intervals, Sprints, and Walking

“But Steve, I have this big party coming up and I really am trying to lose as much weight as possible.”

Okay okay, I hear you – if that’s the case, then 90% of the battle is going to be with your diet. You should focus your energy on healthy eating in order to lose weight. But there are SOME things you can do on your off days that can help you burn more calories:

1) Interval Training –  In interval training, you’ll be varying your running pace. This means you may switch between jogging and walking, or walking and sprinting (there are few different methods of interval training). This training style can help speed up your metabolism for the hours after you finish.

2) Sprinting – If you like the idea of burning extra calories and building explosive power and speed, check out our article on becoming the Flash. Find a hill, sprint up it, walk down, and repeat the process for 10-20 minutes. No need to overthink it!

3) Long walks – Walking is a low-impact activity that burns extra calories and doesn’t overly tax your body. What a “long walk” will be is different for everybody based on their level of fitness, but walking is one of the best things you can do for yourself!

If you want to take a more active recovery day, the most important thing is to listen to your body. Destroying ourselves for 6+ days a week can really wear us down, causing long term problems if we’re not careful.[3]

Rest Day Workout 4: Yoga

You might not realize it, but yoga is the perfect complement to strength training:

Strength training makes us stronger, but it can tighten up our muscles and make us sore.

Yoga, on the other hand, lengthens our muscles and tendons,[4] aids in their recovery,[5] and helps our body develop better mobility and flexibility.[6]

It’s the perfect way to create a strong AND mobile body, ready for anything and everything we throw at it.

It’s kind of like turning your body into a swiss-army knife: prepared to be strong, flexible enough to avoid injury, and truly antifragile.

Now, if you’ve never been to a yoga class before, it can certainly be intimidating, especially if you’re a ones-and-zeros programmer wary of the practice’s more spiritual aspects.

That was my concern years ago before I got started with it; I had to muster up 20 seconds of courage to attend my first yoga class, and I’m so glad I did.

Here’s how to get started with Yoga!

Nearly any commercial gym you join will have yoga classes.

Most yoga studios have classes throughout the day.

Follow a plethora of videos online if you want to get started at home.

In fact, here’s a beginner routine you can follow from Nerd Fitness right now:

If you like how we do things around here and that video piqued your interest, consider checking out our full-length course, Nerd Fitness Yoga:

6 full 30-min workout routines you can follow along to:

Download or stream the routines anytime, anywhere, on any device.

Mini-mobility sessions to help you deal with a sore back, tight shoulders, poor posture, etc.

We’re super proud of Nerd Fitness Yoga, and I’d love for you to check it out! It comes with a 60-day money back guarantee!

Need help with any of the poses? Check out 21 Yoga Poses for Beginners for guidance on all positions.

Rest Day Workout 5: Foam Roller

You’ll often hear using a foam roller as “self-myofascial release.”

You may be asking, “myofawhatnow?”

Don’t stress, because “fascia” is just the connective tissue covering muscle. 

Just know that “self-myofascial release” means giving yourself a tissue massage.

The important thing for today’s lesson: a rolling massage has been shown to help alleviate muscle soreness.[7] Which means it’s a perfect inclusion for active recovery.

Here’s some simple rolling exercises you can try today, courtesy of NF Coach Matt: 

Yes, that is in fact a T-Rex. Yes, it was 100% Matt’s idea.

If you want even more information, including recommendations on which type of roller to purchase, check out our guide “How to Use a Foam Roller.”

Making the Most of Your Days Off (3 Rest Day Best Practices)

No matter what you end up doing on your rest day, here are some best practices to keep in mind. 

Rest Day Best Practice #1: Meal Prep

As we know, a healthy body is made in the kitchen, not in the gym.

It’s important to stay diligent with healthy nutrition even on days when you’re not hitting the gym.

One of the best ways to do that is to use one of your non-training days to prepare your meals for the week! NF Coach Staci Ardison does all of her meal prep for the week on Sundays, and looks at it like an activity that is furthering her fitness journey.

Interested?

Staci walks you through everything you need to start cooking for the week in our Guide to Meal Planning and Prep. Plus, here’s my exact recipe for batch cooking chicken:

Rest Day Best Practice #2: Engage Your Brain

I like to use one of my off days to break a mental sweat too!

On Tuesdays, I take fiddle lessons, which is a mental workout so taxing that I can’t wait to get back to deadlifts!

Learn a language, build a table out of wood, or go play chess with a friend. 

Anything that forces your mind beyond its comfort zone engages your brain. A great way to spend your time away from the gym.

Rest Day Best Practice #3: Have Fun!

Whether it’s playing a video game, getting caught up on a movie or TV show, or reading a book, it’s important for us to do the nerdy or fun things that make us who we are.

As the Rules of the Rebellion state: fitness can become part of what we do, but not at the expense of who we are!

I’m currently playing through The Last of Us: Part II, and it makes me happy our current apocalypse isn’t as bad as that one.

If you live for playing Dungeons and Dragons with friends, make room for it on your calendar. 

Just like it’s important to schedule health and fitness, it’s important to schedule fun.

This guide has provided you with all the tools you need to begin an active recovery practice and to make the most of your rest days.

If you’re looking to go a bit further, I have three options for you…

1) If you want step-by-step guidance creating a workout schedule, getting stronger, and even eating better, check out our killer 1-on-1 coaching program:

Our coaching program changes lives. Learn more here!

2) Exercising at home and need a plan to follow? Have questions you need answered? Join Nerd Fitness Prime!

Nerd Fitness Prime is our premium membership program that contains at-home exercise routines, live-streamed workouts with NF Coaches, a supportive online community, group challenges, and much more! 

Learn more about Nerd Fitness Prime!

#3) Join The Rebellion! We have a free email newsletter that we send out twice per week, full of tips and tricks to help you get healthy, get strong, and have fun doing so. 

I’ll also send you tons of free guides that you can use to start leveling up your life too:

Get your Nerd Fitness Starter Kit

The 15 mistakes you don’t want to make.

Full guide to the most effective diet and why it works.

Complete and track your first workout today, no gym required.

Alright, your turn: How do you stay on target even on days when you’re not “training?”

I’d love to hear from you – do you take the day off completely? Do you challenge yourself in a different way?  Do you try to do something every day to keep the momentum up, or do you actually take days off?

Leave it in the comments!

-Steve 

PS: Another good rest day activity? Take a nap!

Your body does quite a lot of its healing during sleep. Get some proper shut-eye.

###

Photo sources: sleepyhead, A good Sunday to you, resting cat, Rain doesn’t stop a photographer, soccer player, Run, foam roller, back to vacation,

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

A meta analysis found that 1 to 2 rest days between workout sessions was optimal for muscle repair, although they included a caveat that the intensity of the exercise would impact this: “A meta-analysis to determine the dose response for strength development.”(PubMed)

Check out this study on active recovery and DOMS: “An Evidence-Based Approach for Choosing Post-exercise Recovery Techniques to Reduce Markers of Muscle Damage, Soreness, Fatigue, and Inflammation” (PubMed)

Check out this sudy on the importance of resting for 48 hours after intense cardio: “The effects of exercise-induced muscle damage on cycling time-trial performance” (PudMed)

Check out this study on yoga and flexibility in the eldery: Flexibility of the elderly after one-year practice of yoga and calisthenics. (PubMed)

This study showed yoga helping to reduce DOMS: “The effects of yoga training and a single bout of yoga on delayed onset muscle soreness in the lower extremity.” (PubMed)

This study showed college athletes obtaining better balance and flexibility in only 10 weeks of yoga: “Impact of 10-weeks of yoga practice on flexibility and balance of college athletes”(PubMed)

The study on foam rolling and muscle soreness: “Pain pressure threshold of a muscle tender spot increases following local and non-local rolling massage: PubMed”

Active Recovery Ultimate Guide: What Should I Do on Rest Days? published first on https://dietariouspage.tumblr.com/

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Could Waking Up an Hour Earlier Change Your Life?

Getting enough exercise has always been an issue for me, mostly because I think working out is so incredibly boring. I love the initial rush I get when I hop on my elliptical or take a brisk walk through the neighborhood, but I always wind up counting down the seconds until Ive satisfied my goal for the day whatever it is. The humdrum of repetitive movement is bad enough, but I also struggle to find the time. Not only do I have two kids ages 7 and 9, but I work full-time and I have groceries to buy, meals to make, and a home to take care of. We also have piano lessons, gymnastics classes, and an array of school activities to plan for each week. I love my life, but its also exhausting. My husband and I have tried several strategies to get a workout in each day. For a while, we tried getting up at 6:30 a.m. before the kids get up at 7 a.m., but we would get out of our routine quickly if one of us overslept. We also tried doing our exercise videos in the late afternoon for a while, but we were always so distracted. After all, its hard to crank out a T-25 video when the kids are home and asking 300 questions the entire time. The obvious answer here is one Ive fought against for as long as I can remember getting up even earlier. If I could just get out of bed long before everyone else does, I would have plenty of time for exercise without my kids asking for things or any other distractions. Why I Started Getting Up Earlier Earlier this year, I decided that I had finally had it with constantly failing to achieve my goals. While I have never been one to get out of bed super early, I started setting the alarm for 5:55 a.m. Thats not so early that it makes me miserable, but it gives me plenty of time to drink some coffee and do 25 minutes on my Bowflex M3 Max Trainer. And, my oh my, what a difference this has made! Now that I have the hang of getting up early, I have no excuse not to work out. I never feel rushed or distracted, and I am in much better physical and mental shape. I also feel like Im in a much better mood and much more prepared to handle whatever life throws my way. Simply put, the change has been amazing! The thing is, this isnt really all that surprising. Ive read countless articles about the virtues of rising early for years, and many successful people swear by this practice. For example, Apple CEO Tim Cook reportedly gets up at 3:45 a.m., and Ellevest CEO Sallie Krawcheck gets up at 4 a.m. Plenty of other successful early risers have been profiled in publications like Business Insider and Forbes, and the story is usually the same. People who get a lot done believe that getting up earlier gives them more time and more mental energy to be successful. And, while a lot of people believe that staying up late can also help them gain more free time, getting up early is usually the more advantageous option. Either strategy can give you more hours in the day, but financial advisor and life coach Natalie Bacon says that waking up early is way more helpful for a few reasons including the fact that you generally dont have what she calls decision fatigue in the mornings. Your brain is ready to go and isnt tired, she says. Even if youre a night person, you still run the risk of being more exhausted at the end of the day because youvebeen making decisions all day long. How Getting Up One Hour Earlier Can Improve Your Life If youre someone who wishes you had more hours in the day and more time to get things done, you may be wondering if getting up early is the answer youve been looking for. Here are a few reasons you may want to set your alarm clock an hour earlier from now on. You can live more intentionally. Bacon says that getting up can give you the time and space to be the creator of your life instead of responding, reacting, and putting out fires. When you wake up as late as possible, youre constantly having to rush to solve problems and prepare for the day, whereas getting up earlier can help you plan your day more intentionally. While Bacon works full-time as a life coach now, she used to work on her side hustle on top of her full-time financial planning job. Instead of burning the midnight oil to get things done, Bacon said she would wake up at 4 a.m. to brainstorm for her new business. This way, I knew that I got it done no matter what. Nothing could interfere with it, she said. Getting up early helped her be more intentional in this case because she was prioritizing her goals instead of waiting to see if she had time for them later in the day. You can work toward big goals or your own peace of mind. Most of us have something we wish we could accomplish, whether thats exercising more, learning a new language, or pursuing higher education. While it can be difficult to find time to accomplish anything when youre working and raising a family, getting up early can buy you the time to work on these goals a little bit at a time. Bacon also said that morning time is excellent for self-care that you cant find time for during regular daytime hours. If youre not working on a business goal, you can wake up early to read, journal, meditate, or pray basically anything that improves your state of mind or makes you happier. A morning routine with specific habits, even if theyre small, can compound over time to have a huge positive impact on your life, she says. You could finally get in shape. I already mentioned how I get up early for the sole purpose of drinking coffee and working out. For me, early morning is really the only time I can exercise consistently and without interruption. And since I sit at a computer all day long, I have to work out. Todd Mitchem, who is a life coach, speaker, and the author of You Disrupted: Seizing the Life You Want by Shaking, Breaking, and Challenging Everything, says that its pretty common for fitness-minded people to use their mornings to take care of their health. And really, mornings may be the only time for people like me (who have to force themselves to work out) to make it happen. If you have a busy family, the early morning is often the only quiet time in the house for you to take care of you without distractions, he says. The rest of the day and evening is usually jam-packed with family time and errands, and it is way too easy to put exercise off. But most people dont face these challenges when they work out first thing. How to Wake Up Early When You Dont Want to While I never like the sound of an alarm clock and especially not at 5:55 a.m. Ive gotten used to hopping out of bed without hitting the snooze button once. Im a coffee junkie, so I just set my coffee maker to start brewing early and remind myself that a warm cup of my favorite beverage is waiting for me downstairs. That may not work for everyone, but it does work for me. Mitchem says that if youre struggling to wake up early, you can start small and set the alarm clock back slowly over time. For example, you could start by waking up just 15 minutes earlier for a few weeks. From there, you could set your alarm back another 15 minutes slowly until youre getting up at the exact hour you desire. Also remember that you dont have to wake up at 4 a.m., like some CEOs do, to have more free time. A schedule of waking up just 15 minutes earlier each day, for example, will gain you over an hour in just the first week without wrecking your life in the process, said Mitchem. Bacon also says that, if youre someone whos always struggling to get out of bed until the last minute, you may need to focus on reorganizing your life so you can go to bed earlier. Getting up early starts the night before, she says. You need to consciously choose to go to bed early enough that you feel good about getting up early. That might mean cutting yourThe Walking Deadbinge off earlier than normal or getting in bed and turning off the lights instead of scrolling Facebook on your phone. It may also mean going to bed even if other members of your household are awake, which isnt always easy. You may even need to let yourself be exhausted for a while to give your body time to reset to a new sleeping schedule. If you get up early several days in a row, for example, it should start getting easier to go to bed at a decent hour. The Bottom Line If you wish you had more time and cant seem to meet your goals, getting out of bed earlier might be exactly what you need. Whether you dial back the alarm 15 minutes or an hour, that extra time could help you have the time to accomplish simple tasks, take better care of your health, or simply relax and enjoy some peace and quiet for once. But, dont take my word for it. Try getting up an hour earlier for a week to see how it feels. Schlepping out of bed at the crack of dawn may not be easy, but you may find that its worth it. Holly Johnson is an award-winning personal finance writer and the author ofZero Down Your Debt. Johnson shares her obsession with frugality, budgeting, and travel atClubThrifty.com. Related Stories: https://www.thesimpledollar.com/could-waking-up-an-hour-earlier-change-your-life/