#pretty much everybody in the damn homestead

[thou-babbling-brook]

Cold Feet

AO3

Rating: G

Word Count: 2216

Tags: Davenport Homestead, Assassin's Creed III, American Revolution, Canon Compliant, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, "The Wedding" Mission

Summary: Connor convinces Myriam to start her new life with Norris. Set during "The Wedding" Homestead mission between the chase sequence and the wedding scene. Hope you guys enjoy!

Connor would be the first to admit that he knew little to nothing about colonial wedding customs. Aside from a few comprehensive history and culture lessons from his teen years when he first traveled to Achilles, Connor knew nothing about the complexities of colonial weddings. Father Timothy had been kind enough to explain a few key details, such as “giving” Myriam away at the altar (which Connor was more than happy to do for his old friend), but details slipped Connor’s mind from time to time over the next several days of intense planning and preparation.

But there was one thing that Connor was sure they did not include: chasing the bride in question through the snow-covered trees minutes before her wedding.

The day began with as much chaos as one would expect. Before the roosters began to crow, nearly every member of the Homestead bustled about preparing for the joyous celebration. Oliver and Corrine worked hard preparing their finest wines for the occasion while preparing the livestock meat and crops gathered by Warren and Prudence – and of course, little baby Hunter, who cooed excitedly against his mother’s back. Once finished organizing the food, Prudence and Corrine joined the ladies in adorning Myriam in fine, comfortable fabrics suitable for the huntress. Ellen poked needles into the sides to ensure the stitching was up to par, while Diana and Catherine squawked at Connor and Norris for accidentally stepping near the bride’s suite (which Connor did not dare remind the ladies was his home). 

In the meantime, Big Dave and Lance worked tirelessly to adorn both the inn and the church with banners and decor fit for the Homestead’s very first wedding. Big Dave lifted the chubby woodworker up to pin the wooden posts on the side of the inn, waving to Terry and Godfrey as the lumberers warned Norris of the horrors of marriage to come.

“You’ll ne’er be right ‘bout anythin’ again, ya hear me, boy?” Godfrey teased as he slapped his palm against Norris’s back.

“Aye, and forget about havin’ the covers to yerself! You’ll be shiverin’ like a leaf!” Terry explained. Norris merely laughed and shook his head.

In the church, Dr. White and Achilles aided Father Timothy in preparing his short sermon, arranging the pews, and finishing the final touches hours before the wedding. Even the Assassin recruits were more than happy to help with the preparations. Stephane set to work in the kitchen alongside Oliver to cater the large meal ahead. Duncan, ever the Catholic, assisted Father Timothy in rehearsing his sermon. Jacob offered his wisdom for marriage while he straightened Norris’s hair, while Dobby stood guard outside Myriam’s dressing room in case of wandering eyes from stray men. Clipper and Jamie helped Mr. Faulkner and the crew of the Aquila find their drunken ways to the church, all while Connor wandered about and assisted where he could.

So, given the day’s chaotic events, it was not surprising to Connor as he announced happily to the pacing Norris that all was in order that Myriam was “missing.” After all, the ladies had only just left her room. How much trouble could the huntress find herself in?

Apparently, thought Connor as he raced through the trees and leapt through the branches, quite a lot. 

“Leave me be!” Myriam shouted as she jumped to the next branch, a stray branch slowing her down as it caught on her white dress. It was not enough to stop her, but it was enough for Connor to come within speaking distance.

“Why do you run?!” Connor replied, his voice echoing through the forest with concern lacing his tone. He swung to the next branch, careful not to slip and even more careful to ensure Myriam did not.

“Leave me be!” Myriam exclaimed. She crossed over to the next tree in an attempt to throw Connor off her trail. “I’m no housewife!”

Connor’s brow furrowed. While he could not necessarily speak for the entire Homestead, “housewife” would be one of the last descriptors attributed to Myriam. She was a huntress, and a respectable one at that. Through his confusion, Connor quickly ducked through another tree and sprinted across the large, sturdy branch. “No one thinks you are one!”

Myriam slid down a fallen tree, stumbling into the snow before whirling around to face Connor. “That’s what all of this means!”

A silence passed between the two as flurries of snow cascaded around them. Myriam sighed, grabbing her crown of flowers and tossing it to the ground. She sunk to the snowy ground and hid her face in her knees.

Quietly, Connor knelt beside Myriam. Lifting the flower crown into his hands, he joined her in the blanket of snow. He said nothing, only silently thumbing the daffodils adorning her crown. The two sat for a moment while gazing over the rushing river, watching as it cascaded over weathered rocks. Myriam reached forward and threw one into the water. When it sank to the bottom of the river, she huffed angrily through her nose.

“I don’t want to be some housewife that sits around waiting for her husband to come home,” she explained, tossing her hands into the air in frustration. “That’s not who I am. I’m not… I’m not some lady wanting to be kept pregnant and barefoot!”

“No one thinks you are one,” Connor repeated gently. Myriam shot a glare at the hulking man, Connor shrinking in on himself in response despite his size. 

“That’s what this means! This whole wedding! Shoving me into this stuffy dress, preparing me to take vows, giving me away!” She stood, pacing by the riverside. She gave Connor an apologetic look. “No offense. If I want anyone to give me away, it would be you.”

Connor rose and nodded his head. “None taken. But what is it that causes you to believe that you will become a housewife?”

Rubbing the bridge of her nose, Myriam groaned before settling her hands on her hips and staring out into the river. “I… I don’t know!” She tossed her hands in the air again, rustling her hair and pacing back and forth. “I don’t belong inside a house cooking and cleaning and caring for a husband and an entire brood of children. I belong in the open air, in my hunting blinds, with my rifle in my hands!” Her hands formed the gesture of her weapon in question. Then, they fell to her sides. “If I marry Norris… I’ll be leaving behind all of my freedom that I worked so hard to gain.”

Stepping closer, Connor laid a hand on Myriam’s back. “That is not true,” he murmured quietly. “You know that better than I. Norris wants only for you to be happy.”

“Do I?” Myriam asked. Her voice faltered and she turned her nose to the rushing river. “What if, when we get married, all he wants is for me to sit at home and… I don’t know, wash his feet?”

Connor unintentionally wrinkled his nose. At the very least, the gesture provided a quick laugh for the two hunters. The uncomfortable silence returned soon after, broken only by the sounds of quiet chirping and rustling bushes.

“Norris did not fall in love with a housewife,” Connor finally spoke up. He met Myriam’s gaze with his own, gentle eyes. “Why would he expect such?”

“All men do,” Myriam sighed. 

“I do not.”

“You are not all men.”

Connor glanced down at the flower crown in his hands, thumbing over the white petals. “Perhaps I am not.”

Myriam pinched her nose again. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to offend–”

“No, it is alright,” Connor assured her. His brows furrowed in thought while Myriam squinted into the horizon. Then, a candle sparked in his mind. “How much do you know of my people, Myriam?”

“I don’t see the point of your question,” Myriam remarked tersely. When Connor gave a serious expression, she sighed. “But to answer it, not much.”

He moved in front of Myriam. “I think you would like it very much. For my people, it is the women who lead. We may have chiefs and war councils, but these men are voted upon by our women. Clan Mothers lead the village. We trace our ancestry through our mothers. For women, marriage is not just a union of the husband and wife, but of the village to the couple.”

Myriam raised a brow. “Your point?”

Placing the flower crown upon her head, Connor continued. “You are not a housewife, but even if you were, it would not change who you are. You are a skillful leader and hunter. Norris knows this. He marries you because of it, not in spite of it. He admires you for who you are. You need be nothing else. And by marrying Norris, you unite our friends as a whole, too.”

Silently, Myriam adjusted the crown and tucked stray strands of hair behind her ears. “Do you really think so?”

“I know so.” He cracked a rare smile. “Besides, you are a better shot than Norris. If anyone will be the housewife, it will be him.”

Myriam snorted. “The bad part is that I think he would enjoy being a housewife.” Her shoulders shook as she began to laugh. “Could you imagine? Me, coming home with a pipe of tobacco sticking out of my mouth, my rifle on my back, and hares in my hands while Norris cooks and cleans?”

Connor chuckled, then gently led Myriam towards the path leading to the church. “But you cannot imagine such a fate until you are wed.”

“No,” Myriam smiled, “I suppose I can’t.” As they reached the church, Myriam turned to Connor with a mixture of fear and excitement.

“I’m scared.”

Connor nodded. “I know.”

“What do I do?”

“What do you do when you face a cougar?”

“I shoot it. Are you suggesting I shoot Norris?”

“No, but I am suggesting that you face him like you would any animal.” He laid his hands on her shoulders, squeezing gently. “You are a strong, cunning woman, Myriam. He loves you deeply. He would not be marrying you if he had no intention of respecting you.”

Myriam inhaled sharply. “How do I get over it?”

“The fear?”

“No, the weather – what else would there be?”

“You won’t,” chimed a gentle, soft voice. Prudence and Ellen emerged from behind the church. Ellen offered Myriam her bouquet of flowers while Prudence wrapped a white shawl around her shivering shoulders. Prudence patted her cheek. “When I married Warren years ago, I was terrified of our future. But you learn, in marriage, that you are both equally frightened.” She giggled along with Ellen and Myriam.

Ellen took Myriam’s hands in her own. “My marriage was an unhappy one,” she confessed. Connor looked on solemnly, catching Ellen’s somber gaze for a mere second before Ellen mustered a smile. “But I can offer this wisdom: a good husband will cherish his wife for her talents, her wit, her love, her devotion, and her faith. Norris practically worships the ground you walk on. He will make a fine husband.”

Myriam sniffled. “Fuck,” she cursed. “I can’t believe I’m crying like some… some old hag!” Prudence and Ellen laughed, rubbing Myriam’s shoulders before holding her tightly.

“Besides,” Prudence cooed, staring over Myriam’s shoulder into Connor’s watchful gaze, “once we have you and Norris married, we can finally focus our attention on finding Connor a wife.”

Cheeks flushing, Connor brought his fist to his mouth and cleared his throat. “That will not be necessary.”

“Oh, hush, Prudence,” Ellen giggled. “We mustn't scare him from the prospect yet.” She turned back to Myriam, kissing her cheek. “We have to go back inside, but we will support you no matter what.” Prudence nodded in agreement before waving goodbye, giggling alongside Ellen as they hurried into the church.

Myriam rubbed her arms and faced Connor, walking with him up the steps. “You will be there every step of the way?”

“Every step,” Connor assured.

“Okay.”

“How do you feel?”

“Terrified. Like I want to run away again,” Myriam chuckled breathlessly. Connor hummed and looped his arm with hers.

“I will be there regardless. I am sure Norris will be as well.”

Myriam smiled. “Thank you, Connor.”

“You do not need to thank me. You are my friend.”

She stood on her tiptoes, pressing her frigid lips to Connor’s freckled cheek. “No, but I will. Thank you.”

Blushing, Connor cleared his throat and led Myriam to the entrance of the church, where the guests began to rise as they spotted the bridge.

“Prudence and Ellen are right, though. We must find you a bride,” she whispered, doing her best to ignore the endless amount of eyes upon her and Connor. 

Connor chuckled, patting her hand. “I can only hope she is not as fast nor agile as you.”

“Ha, ha. Who knew you had such a sense of humor?”

Years later, when Connor would find himself fidgeting in front of his betrothed’s longhouse, Myriam would loop her arm with his, kiss his flustered cheek, and walk him into the longhouse with the same kindness he had shown her before.

Luckily for Connor, his wife did not run into the trees. How fortunate he was indeed. 

[fandom-hoarder]

Watched the new Walker first thing today. Basically I was mentally yelling at everybody except Mawline this ep.

* I'm really glad to see mawline angry with bonham for telling cordell to move out, cuz wtf. She TOLD him to live there. What about family? I hate when families leave the homestead for no goddamn reason. I hated it on og Charmed and I'll hate it here if they push it through. Bonham needs smacked upside the head.

* why the fuck is cordell so goddamn trusting? This drives me crazy so often but especially rn wtf. She's a REPORTER, Cordi. Can you keep some shit close to the chest? Why is *she* trustworthy???

* there had better be something undercover going on with this trey situation or I'm gonna start BITING after all that "this is where you're supposed to be" (also the whole "had to fight hard for this so don't blow it" and the fact a new black ranger is the one to lose his job on his first fucking dps hearing ever). But im not sure, this could be for real real. Trey did get warned twice about following the orders he was actually given and following CHAIN OF COMMAND

* Liam, you are a lawyer, why do you seem so fucking stupid about legally binding decisions lately?? You're gonna ruin stella's life making her sign on as partner at 18 when you didn't even figure this shit out before getting the fucking charity label!!

* Stella, you need to talk to some DIFFERENT ADULTS ASAP

* i am sus af of julia and kevin

* julia is either in on something or just plain reckless and gonna get cordi in big trouble

* actual "romance" storylines (people becoming couples or shippy and the dynamic changing, rather than building up unspoken tension) really squick me out, and i wasn't fully aware HOW MUCH lately because spn (and merlin, to some degree) catered directly to me. Or maybe the quickness and lack of buildup is the real issue for me. I have no feelings there. It feels like when kids would couple up on recess in elementary school. kevin/cassie was fine cuz I'm sus of him, but im really glad she put her foot down this ep. Stella/colton was cute until it happened. I saw comments about cordell/julia somewhere and gagged cuz it's a possibility with this show! She's pretty, but i don't care!! That's not what i require to care. Meh. At least she's not Geri. I will never get my cordri feelings back because they opened the oven too soon and the souffle of tension deflated so much it sunk in and made a hole

* I'm sus of the whole damn squad and im even sus cordell's mentor isn't dead

* i would really appreciate it if cassie would stop talking rangers into problematic decisions. she doesn't have to stop trying, but it's getting frustrating that NO ONE has conviction to follow orders they've been given for a reason

* idr what else i was gonna say. I need the next ep right now.

[dimitrescus-bitch]

Better Than Purgatory (Wynonna Earp x Reader)

Since high school, you’d become a bit of a recluse. Nobody had really noticed though because Purgatory hadn’t ever kept a close eye on Y/n Y/l/n. To most of the town, you were the girl who wasted her potential trying to be friends with Wynonna Earp, only to be abandoned. Everybody assumed that when Wynonna ran off, you went to America for college. You had your bags packed, but you just moved into your family home and tried to make it feel less like a great tragedy had taken place there. 

So, when you went to Shorty’s on Sunday night, you hadn’t expected anybody to recognize you. They would have had to pay attention to you before. Besides, it wasn’t like anybody would have wanted anything to do with you anyways. You weren’t interesting, maybe a little crazy from the things you’d sworn you’d seen, but not interesting. 

“Y/n?” You looked up from your drink and smiled at Wynonna Earp. It’d been years, but it was definitely her. “I thought you’d be far away from this place.” 

“Never even left,” you said as you tipped your glass back. The alcohol burned as it ran down your throat. Wynonna frowned at you and it sort of confused you. “What?” 

“I swear it’s always the smart ones that never realize it,” Wynonna said with a heavy sigh. “You should have went off to college and become a lawyer or something.” 

“I’ve got my law degree actually,” you said and Wynonna gave you a look. “No shit, I actually represented myself in court and got out of a pretty nasty situation.” 

“Of course you did because you’re just that good. You are too good for Purgatory Y/n. You were supposed to leave and we’d never see each other again because I’m not good enough to get away,” Wynonna said, and now it was your turn to frown at her. 

“I think that I’m no better than you.” You waved the bartender over. He poured two more drinks for the two of you and then walked away. “I may have been smart, but you were courageous and unapologetic. Those are two things that I have not quite figured out for myself yet. You could learn all the things I know, but I couldn’t learn how to live like you.” 

“You get yourself out of Purgatory and see the world,” Wynonna told you. “Because you are better than me and pretty much everybody else in this town.” 

“If I’m leaving town, I’ll need a damn good going away party.” You held your hand out towards her and she took it. You didn’t know where you were going, but you knew that you just had to be alone with her. The pull was there and even as you drove away from the Homestead in the morning, a part of you knew that you’d come back for her again.

[mtvswatches]

Wynonna Earp 3x03 Colder Weather

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) They’re doing a Dolls retrospective in the previously-on and oh God, it’s going to be one of those episodes, am I going to cry my heart out?

2) Wynonna is sad, drunk, and angry – a dangerous combination. Yep.

3) God, they even changed the music for this episode… They’re really going for emotional devastation, aren’t they?

4) So, the vampire lady that had Doc all tied up in the season opener is back. He called her Countessa, but then she begged him to say her name, and I wonder if this has some other meaning? Like, maybe she needs him to say her name for some spell or something? I don’t know. Anyway, apart from being a vampire, she moonlights as a seer. And she tells Doc that she’d seen a warrior would die – Dolls – and that he should give up trying to get with Wynonna because she loved Dolls, too, and he’d be forever competing with Dolls’ ghost. Ouch.

5) Really, dude?

6) Waverly and Nicole are having a very important conversation that everyone should have with their loved ones – what happens with my remains when I die? I’ve had this conversation several times with different people and they’re all very much aware of what I want to be done with my body, but I guess I’ll be dead and they can do whatever they want and  I’ll never find out. Anyway, Nicole’s wish is to have a sky funeral, which sounds whimsical and cute but it’s actually pretty gross.

7) Uh-oh. Waverly has just found out that her father – well, not her father-father, you know what I mean – had only made arrangements for her mother’s and Wynonna’s burials, not hers… and that’s so unnecessarily cruel? Did they adopt her or were they charged with her? I really need to find out what’s the whole story about Waverly and the Earps!

8) Wynonna is in denial. She continues binge-drinking and shooting Peacemaker, but she’s not finding any peace. It’s Doc who can finally comfort her and convince her to pay their respects to Dolls. They actually comfort each other…

9) Who dis?

10) Waverly is kind of freaking out, saying she’s hungry and how that reminds her that Dolls will never eat again and then she starts laughing (her little breakdown reminded me a bit of Anya’s in The Body…) and Doc then smashes a glass against the wall (kind of like what Xander did in The Body…) They’re preparing a wake for Dolls at Shorty’s, which I guess we’ll end up being more like a sad party with everyone getting drunk and shots being fired because nothing can go right in Purgatory, not even a wake.

11) So, I took an instant liking to Star Hand guy for some reason, and thankfully, he seems to be Dolls’ friend. Doc is demanding evidence, as he should. Question is, how did he find out Dolls was dead? Is he a Black Badge agent, too? Did he come here to say his goodbyes or is he going to be a mainstay? And with this I’m reminded of…

12) Hmm. I have some questions…

NICOLE: My parents were travelling again and they told me I could go to this music festival with my aunt and uncle. Here. WAVERLY: In the Ghost River Triangle? NICOLE: There was an attack. A man in leather. So much screaming and blood. WAVERLY: The demon Dolls killed at the cliff? Bondage Bob? NICOLE: For years, my parents just told me that everybody died in a forest fire and that I had... I had somehow escaped, but... you know, it just didn't explain the nightmares. WAVERLY: Yeah, I've... I've heard them. NICOLE: Last spring, when... Widow Mercedes said his name... Bulshar... it was like this shotgun went off in my head. And Dolls helped me. He got me files, he... he told me that... Black Badge had been covering up these massacres for years. The Cult of Bulshar.

I’m not sure I’m on board with this backstory they gave Nicole literally out of nowhere? And the same demon that committed this massacre is the guy Dolls killed on the hill? The one Waverly names “Bondage Bob”? I just… I don’t totally buy it. I know it could be completely possible for her to have suppressed these memories because of trauma, but… it all feels a bit thrown together at the last minute? Why couldn’t she just be a human, a kickass human but a human nonetheless? Why does she also need a supernatural and traumatizing backstory? I don’t know, I’m still a bit iffy about the whole thing.

13) Will this turn into a supernatural version of “P.S. I Love You”?

14) Obviously, Dolls knew he was going to die, hence the ominous letter. Wynonna takes it out on Jeremy because he knew and he was trying to help Dolls but he didn’t say anything to anyone else, trying to respect Dolls’ wishes. Wynonna feels betrayed, but I don’t really get why? First of all, all of them know they can die at any time, that’s part of the gig, right? So yeah, Dolls being aware of his own mortality shouldn’t be that surprising considering his line of work. Second of all, they all witnessed that this dragon-power was taking a toll on him, didn’t they? Am I crazy? So yeah, Wynonna might have pretended it wasn’t an issue, but she knew, they all knew… I guess it’s easy when you’re mourning someone’s death to have someone to blame, but Jeremy hardly deserves it.

15) So, Quinn, Xavier’s friend, is all chummy with Doc and I’m here for it. Wynonna asks Doc if he knew Dolls was dying, and Quinn is like “duh! Of course, he was!”, which was exactly my reaction. Wynonna is not an idiot, so she had to be in complete denial not to see that he was dying. Anyway, apparently, he was also Black Badge.

16) Oh, great. The fucking revenants stole all the serum Doc had concocted for Dolls and are streamlining it. This should end well.

17) So, Jeremy placed a coded message for Dolls’ friends to come to his funeral. See? How can you be angry at Jeremy?

18) Wynonna wonders why Dolls didn’t attempt to do anything to get better, and the answer is blatantly obvious for both Quinn and Doc – because of her. I’m guessing she’ll take this information to further flagellate herself over Dolls’ death.

19) The vampire lady, Katalin, stole Waverly’s purse, for some reason, maybe she’s a klepto or something, but she didn’t use any of her vampire powers to do it? Like, she just grabbed and took off, awkwardly running in her heels? Kind of disappointing, but also super hilarious.

20) Ay…

21) Waverly enlists Doc to help her get Dolls’ letter back, and they sneak out all secretive, but… it’s a wake with literally 5 freaking guests… I think the three people left will eventually notice they’re gone?

22) “Why torture yourself? I don’t.” HA! Yeah, right!

23) Quinn suggests that Black Badge is not really gone – well, duh – and that they might come to retrieve what’s left of Dolls…

24) Yep. A bunch of jacked-up revenants have just crashed the party. Coolio.

That’s alright, Wynonna’s got it.

25) I do appreciate a good early 00s callback…

26) WTF

27) OMG, Waverly trying to lose it and turn the table but realizing it’s too heavy and then just throwing the cards on the floor and giving a little shout? *chef’s kiss*

28) Oh, shit, Katalin now knows what Waverly is?! What is she???

29) Aw, Nicole just set Wynonna straight, told her that everyone is grieving Dolls just as much as she is and that she should go apologize to Jeremy. I do really love their quiet yet strong bond.

30) Quinn is fucking torturing Jeremy with a goddamn stapler and why does everyone keep treating Jeremy like crap? Quinn wants to get Jeremy’s drugs to become a dragon and storm BB headquarters. Wynonna gets through to him by admitting that she is also haunted by the ghosts of the people she lost, but their best revenge is to go on living. Be brave. Live. For me.

31) Ouch, I didn’t know that something as small as Wynonna giving Quinn Dolls’ badge would hurt like a bitch, but it did.

32) Damn, damn, damn.

That whole scene simply destroyed me. Wynonna finally decided to cremate Dolls’ body to prevent BB from coming after it to continue experimenting on him. And then they bury him, each of them placing a personal item that symbolizes their relationship to Dolls. It fucking devastated me.

33) Waverly asks Wynonna what her plans are for when she passes, casually mentioning that she doesn’t have a spot on the Earp’s burial site. Wynonna doesn’t make a big deal of it, and instead, tells Waverly that they will live for about another 80 years and then, they’ll be buried together at the homestead. That’s all the reassurance Waverly needs. She might not be an Earp, but she’s Wynonna’s sister, and that’s all that matters.

34) Damn, Dolls.

35) Does Katalin spend the whole day playing with her Tarot cards? #quarantinemood

So… she admits that she only stole Waverly’s purse to get Doc’s attention. They have a short conversation about the days of yore and then…

Damn Doc, he can’t just keep it in his pants, can he?

36) That was an emotional rollercoaster of an episode. Dolls wasn’t one of the characters I loved the most, but I understand how important he was to the narrative and to each of the characters, so I’m glad to see he got a proper send-off. I really hate it when shows gloss over the aftermath of a main character’s death and skip forward all the grieving and uncomfortableness of mourning. That being said, this being a supernatural show and all, I’m skeptical that this was the last we’ll see of Dolls. Anything can happen, right?

37) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi. Thanks!

[salmonthestoryteller]

All About Isobel

I’ll admit Isobel is my fav character.  I honestly didn’t expect that to happen.  She definitely wasn’t among my fav in the OG series, nor at the start of the book series. (Though, like RNM the book series version seems to be winning me over.)  Somewhere along the line, though, I was like - yah, nope, everybody else move a slot down, Isobel is claiming my top character spot.

If there’s one thing I love about Isobel it is how important Max and Michael are to her.  It seems to be why some people hate her.  To me, though, it’s one of the reasons I adore her character.  These are her brothers and if you hurt them she will end you.  The world can freakin’ burn, she is going to protect these two with all she has in her.

It isn’t surprising either, and I want to back up and look at her backstory first, especially with everything we learned in the last two episodes of the season.  So, yes, considering her plot involving both the Drifter and Noah, fair warning that some of the content may be triggering.

So there is at least two instances where Isobel is able to call out to Michael, one shared with Max, while completely unconscious.  We know Max and Isobel have their twin connection which Max describes as a “warm presence” with him all the time.  But the fact that she called to Michael twice shows that at some level she has to be telepathically connected to him as well.

They emerge from the pods at age seven, and are found by the highway.  From there they end up in a group home. Now, to my understanding a group home is not a foster family.  It is the modern day equivalent to an orphanage, with several adults looking after a group of children.  From there they are adopted by the Evans almost right away.  They still aren’t even speaking yet when they go with them. Max and their mother discuss the fact that it took them months to talk. And that when they did, they did so immediately with no trouble.  As if they’d been waiting to learn the whole language before speaking.

Michael, as we know, is left behind and doesn’t return to their lives until they are eleven.  However, Isobel probably could sense that he was missing the whole time.  She couldn’t say who was missing, because they hadn’t had words or names when they were separated.  She couldn’t say “Michael is missing” - she just knew someone was.  This is probably where Isobel’s fear of losing those she cares about first stems from.  An experience she couldn’t even fully explain at the time.

I have no doubt that when they found each other again at eleven, it was one of the best days of their lives to Isobel.  Because, to her, Michael is her brother. There’s no ifs in that to Isobel.  Michael says they aren’t family, Max tells Michael he isn’t his family in a moment of anger, but to Isobel the fact that Michael is her brother is indisputable. It’s plain fact.  It’s there in the way she treats him, in how she is willing to rely on him and trust him, and even how she speaks.  Not even the big statements like, “We’re a family.”  In small ways like how she refers to Max in 1x03 as “Our brother.”

Fast forward a few years.  (In 1x06 I thought it was their thirteenth birthday as it was 2004 and they are said to be 17 in 2008, but in 1x12 Max says Isobel was fourteen so I guess if their “birthday” was summer it's three years later?)  It seems like - compared to Max - Michael protected Isobel much more from the abuse he was suffering.  It doesn’t seem as if she has an understanding of just how bad things were.  The look on her face when he tells her the story of always going to Foster Homestead Ranch and his reasons why are further proof.  Isobel knew he wasn’t as lucky as them, but she was at a loss at how bad he truly had it.  How alone he truly felt.  Which I think was on purpose on Michael’s part.  It’s also why she’s probably closer to their mother than Max was.  She doesn’t seem to harbor the same resentment to their parents that Max felt for them not taking Michael in.  I think she’s closer to Ann because when she thinks she’s dying she tells Max, “We should call Mom.”  Not their parents. “Mom.”

However, Ann still says they both kept her at arms length to Max.  That they, not him but they, didn’t let her be a mom.  I don’t think this was true as much when they were younger.  I’m guessing the separation for Isobel and Ann occured when Isobel hit puberty.  Because - think about this for a moment - Isobel is an alien.  She knows this.  She knows she has powers others don’t.  That her biology isn’t quite the same. (Acetone, hello.)  And she had to go through puberty with not only no grown woman to talk to it about, but not even another girl her own age.  She couldn’t ask her mom if certain things happening were normal or not - because there was no way of knowing what was alien “normal.”  And if it turned out it wasn't human normal, and she brought it up she risked exposing them. Puberty is a pretty sucky thing already, and Isobel probably felt twice as isolated during it because she just damn didn’t know what was or wasn’t normal for their species.  In that Max and Michael at least had each other.  I doubt Isobel felt comfortable talking to her brothers about periods, cramps, etc.

And in the middle of this whole very isolating confusing time for her comes the Drifter.  It’s pretty clear what his intentions were when he grabbed her, though it is not made clear how far he got.  Isobel is still clothed, so I don’t think he raped her, but I have no doubt he touched her before Max and Michael got here.  And remember something else - Isobel is a telepath.  A telepath who they already knew could make others do things.  If she at all tried to touch the Drifter’s mind there’s no saying what was said in Mindspace to her.

Worse, this is when her telepathic scream brings her to Noah’s attention. Between the Drifter’s attack and witnessing Max kill him, Isobel shuts down.  The trauma is too much for her to handle, and she retreats inside her mind.  Noah takes the opportunity to connect to her that night, and he never lets go of that connection until his death.  Max said that she continued to have black outs after the attack, and Noah mentions how that allowed him to see through her eyes.  How soon he was able to start to use her body to move around is unclear.  And we are also unclear on what all influences Noah had on her otherwise.

Noah speaks of their connection several times.  We know he can control her actions when she is unconscious or withdrawn into her mind, but how deep did that connection run?  Max is concerned about Liz’s ability to consent when his mark is on her.  Noah has had his mind connected to Isobel’s since she was fourteen.  We cannot say how much that affected her - if she ever had complete autonomy after that night or if a part of her was always affected by Noah’s feelings and desires.

However, one thing is very much true - and that’s that after that night Isobel didn’t trust anyone who wasn’t Max or Michael for years.  There was never a time when the people around her weren’t listed as “potentially dangerous”.  We see that in how she reacts to everything, both in her teen years and even as an adult.  She kept everyone else at arms length.  Through barbs; through a mask of perfection.  The reason Isobel didn’t care about using her powers as a teen?

Because as long as other people were doing what she wanted she was safe.

This is someone who never feels safe.  Hasn’t been able to regain that feeling since that night in the desert.  The only place she felt remotely at ease was around Max and MIchael.  Isobel is clearly supposed to be the Queen Bee in high school, yet she goes to prom with her brothers.  Why?  Because Isobel didn't trust anyone else.  It’s why she kept withdrawing into herself and having blackouts as graduation approached.  If Max and Michael left - how was she ever going to feel safe? She had devoted her life to her brothers, because she knew she could trust them.  They would protect her, no matter what.  They’d already proven it.  Everybody else was suspect.

Only now her brother were becoming suspect.  If they were going to leave her to fend for herself, what did she have left? It’s clear from her lash out, “What am I supposed to do?” that Isobel had no plans right then for her future.  She doesn’t know what she’s going to do once Michael and Max leave - she never once mentions college herself.  And, actually, it seems her brothers have no idea either.  During the argument all Max says is “Live your life.”  There’s nothing there about anything Isobel might want or suggested she would do after graduation.  If Max and Michael had this argument, that line would have involved, “What are you talking about? You’re leaving for Albuquerque/You’re running off to Europe.”  For Isobel the best Max has to offer is “Live your life"?

This is actually where the fact that Roswell is supposed to be a small town probably plays a big part.  Because Isobel is the only girl among the three aliens.  It’s not surprising that in a small town Isobel’s lack of plans to go to college or pursue a career is never brought up.  The notion of girls staying home with the parents, working local jobs or simply getting married is still quite common.  From what we’ve seen, it’s actually what happens to Isobel after graduation, though that hasn’t completely been made clear yet.

One big thing did happen first, though. The murders.  Things change that night for Isobel in a very big way.  Until now Isobel has relied on her brother’s for protection.  After the cover up Isobel finds herself in a new role - One of protector.

To her, Michael may have killed Rosa, Jasmin, and Kate - but he is very much not to blame for it.  Think of the story Michael tells her.  He got into a fight and his hand was smashed.  He says he got drunk, but it's not like Michael could have gone to a hospital.  What is the only painkiller they have? Acetone.  To her, Michael was medicating himself because he had no way to receive the care he needed.  Then, drunk on the acetone, he ran into the other car and lost control of his powers.  He was drunk and in pain and alone and he lashed out to protect himself.  She may believe Michael killed them, but she doesn’t blame him.  If anything, she probably blames herself for blacking out and not being there when he needed her.

Then, a few days later, Max starts talking about telling Liz the truth.  Think about what this looks like from Isobel’s perspective.  Max is choosing some crush over Michael.  Michael, who buried the Drifter for him and kept his secret all these years.  He’s literally going to get Michael arrested, maybe even get them all killed if they find out what he is, because he cares about some girl more than their brother.  Is it any wonder she decides to go into Liz’s mind and tell her to stay away from Max?

However, I feel it's hinted at that Max kinda broke down after Liz left.  Isobel mentions something that sounds like a reference in a conversation with Michael in 1x02:

“Max is shutting me out. I thought maybe you could talk to him.  Something is wrong with him, Michael. And when that happened the last time, you were the only one he would open up to.”

I think seeing how using her powers on Liz affected Max really drove home what her powers were capable of to Isobel.  She’d never used her powers against her brothers in such a way.  I don’t think she ever used her powers to negatively affect those she cared about.  Others were free game, but anything that could hurt those she loved was off limits. And this is Max, her person as she calls him to Noah, and her using her powers has hurt him.  She tells Michael, “I don’t do that anymore.”   While it’s unclear when she stopped, my guess is that it was after she used them on Liz.

Then, while we can’t be certain how soon it happened, she met Noah.  She probably felt an instant trust in him because - hello - Noah was in her literal head.  She didn’t know why she felt safe with him, but he was the first person aside from Max and Michael who made her feel that way.  So she dated him, fell in love, got married.

All of this is disturbing enough, because essentially Noah has been grooming Isobel since she was fourteen and then he seeks her out physically and marries her once he gets out of the pod.  But what also bothers me is we don’t see any hint that Isobel is romantically with anyone else in the past.  She teases Max about Tess, Michael mentions dates limiting options, but Isobel is not shown with anyone.  The only feelings of desire Isobel experiences that we are shown is Noah’s for Rosa through her flashbacks, and her and Noah’s relationship.  There is literally nobody else that is even mentioned.  Every other character we get some mention of an ex or potential love interest, even Rosa.  But Isobel has only Noah.

Over the same time period, she witnessed Max and Michael’s friendship fall apart with no idea why.  She didn’t understand what was happening between them.  This was her family and now they were barely speaking.  She had her new position, though, and she wasn’t going to let them down.  She was going to be the one who was strong; the one who protected them and looked after them.  She devoted herself to that, and despite some bumps along the way, I don’t think she felt she failed at it.  She never knew Max was unhappy - he didn’t seem to show that to her after he got his act together.  She says as much to Noah in 1x03.  She thought Michael let his life fall apart because he’d killed three girls and couldn’t forget.  She tried to be there for him - she never cut him out of her life.  She had no idea how to make things better, but she made sure she was there if he needed her. We know this because Noah doesn’t just list Max when Isobel says she had something to take care of - he lists Michael too.

Then Liz comes back into town, and everything changes.  It’s little wonder she views Liz as a threat. Remember, Isobel never feels safe - everyone is a threat.  Liz most of all - Max almost turned on Michael and her for Liz once before.  Max was devastated after losing her the first time and now it's going to happen again. And while people like to say Isobel is overprotective and out of line for constantly lecturing Max about her - is she wrong?  Liz is using Max’s feelings because she’s searching for the truth, Liz does want revenge for Rosa. Liz's history doesn't look like someone she would trust with her brother's happiness. 

Isobel isn’t just using her powers for kicks.  She goes after Liz to protect her family.  She practices at Maria’s bar because she thinks she needs to strengthen her abilities.  If she fails - how will she ever keep Michael safe now that Liz knows an alien killed Rosa?  She isn’t thinking there’s some big secret to why Maria hates her - she probably thinks the reason is small and petty. She doesn’t know Maria.  Then everything becomes strange - because why did Rosa hate her?  Rosa was two years older than them - she was long gone from high school by the time Isobel would have been the head of Roswell High’s Mean Girls.  It makes no sense - she almost never  interacted with her.  Why would someone hate her she didn’t even know?

It’s no wonder the “truth” about the murders affects Isobel so deeply.  She’s spent ten years viewing the deaths as a terrible accident. Now they are murders - actual murders - that she herself committed.  And she doesn’t know why. She does know that for some reason Rosa hated her. But Rosa, Kate, and Jasmin weren't even a blip on her radar before the murders. Why would she suddenly kill them? She's spent her whole life afraid of others and now she can't even trust herself.

Then the flashbacks start after the cure. She has no reason to doubt them - they're her own memories. What's more is that they probably make sense to her.  There were probably days she was sick of the front she put on to keep others at a distance.  And here are these flashbacks saying she let down that guard with someone - with Rosa. And it seems like it was a wonderful thing - Rosa didn't let her down.  She was safe.  Maybe she even loved her? It's everything teen Isobel always wanted. She and Michael discuss it:

"I used to look in the sky when we were kids, and hope something up there would save me."

"I used to look around at the people of this town and hope for the same thing."

She feels invested in this now.  She had a close friend, the only truly close female friend she ever had as far as we see, maybe she even had a secret romance.  Then she finds out the horrifying truth that it was never her at all. She never had that friendship, and what's worse? Noah used her to attack an innocent girl. Just like she was attacked when she was fourteen. Only Rosa didn't have Max and Michael to save her.

Isobel's face off with Noah is painful because it truly is the worst betrayal imaginable.  Isobel doesn't let people close. Isobel doesn't trust. She did with Noah, when the truth is she never should have.  He was the one she should have been protecting herself from.

I am glad they gave us her final Mindscape conversation with Noah.  It may be a lie that she never loved him, but what truly mattered wasn't whether she loved him or not.  What mattered was facing him and letting him know he no longer had control of her.  She was done with him.

The season ends with Isobel exploding the picture frame with her mind. And while I'm excited to see her expand her powers, I am concerned for her in s2. The truth about Noah has already taken away one of her shelters. Losing Max? That is literally one of her greatest fears come to life.

In pursuit of feeling safe again - in protecting what she has left? There's really no saying what path Isobel might take.

[myupostsheadcanons]

I know you @highwayham asked about DBD headcanons on another blog... I’ll get to that soon.... I was working on this one for you the past week....  So I am quite ahead of the game.

My personal headcanons for all the DBD killers.

(gets a bit fanfic-ish in places, but damn my fan fic writers soul. (i haven’t done the final proofing, but go me) )....

  The Doctor

The Anti-Freddy.

Herman’s madness and electro-shocks automatically wake people up/take people out of Freddy’s dream realm.

It is nearly physically impossible for him to go to sleep.

Water is his weakness. Submerging him in enough water would burn out his own powers. It will put him in a coma if he is fully charged when submerged.

Herman didn’t think Freddy was real for the longest time. He thought Freddy was some made up joke the others were pulling on him. Or some Invisible Man that the others were putting too much stock in.

When he isn’t driving through crazy town, he’s generally snobby, rude, haughty, and uptight. He has this air of acting “better than you” that drives most of the other killers bonkers.

OCD... the only killer that manages to keep his whites mostly clean on a trial.

Herman and Myers especially don’t get along. His madness powers would make The Shape’s voice in Myers head louder and angrier. And The Doctor being a Psychiatrist rather than a Medical doctor didn’t help either.

Herman and Evan often fight over who’s in charge. Evan is loud and violent, and easy to ignore. The Doctor is more demanding and a perfectionist, on top of being sadistic, so more people still side with Evan.

The Nurse

Sally doesn’t like that her “role” among the group is being the nanny.

The Trapper will call her “The Nanny” instead of “The Nurse” (she makes sure to give him extra scares by casually hiding behind corners on him)

In fact, The Trapper is perhaps her most frequent patient.... for stepping in his own bear traps.

The Nurse and The Doctor kind of get along. She was so use to having to deal with asshole men doctors while she was alive... what’s one more now that she’s dead?

Her, The Doctor, The Hag, and The Clown handle most of the medical needs among the group. (The Hag knows Apothecary, The Clown has some understanding in that field as well and helps the two women make any meds. The Doctor has enough knowledge through his experiments on humans and medical school to help, but isn’t as skilled/knowledgeable as The Nurse)

The Spirit

Rin didn’t understand English when she first arrived. Julie (The Legion) knew some Japanese because of being a massive weeb, and tried to help translate pieces of what was being said to the others. (often just fucked up on the translation completely.. basically think Lopez from RVB. or Peggy Hill levels of bad)

Rin is polarizing. One moment she is calm, collective, and interested in being around people... the next she’s screaming at everybody, even those that did nothing, and would even attack other killers.

The Spirit often hangs around The Nurse, neither talking to one another. If she’s not creeping on other people in the group.

Work is too much.... work.... When it comes to doing chores or requests, she would suddenly vanish or be last in line.

Rin tends to creep on Myers the most. She likes that Myers doesn’t talk, or give a shit... and she saw him without his mask a few times.... so...  long siiigh.... (he’s just confused by her)

She fucking hates Freddy... He grabbed her inappropriately only once and she kicked his ass... he’s been leaving her alone now.

She doesn’t like The Doctor either. Outside of being pushy and treats her like a pest: his powers make her even more unstable and volatile.

The Wraith

Unless the killer is a colossal Asshat, he’ll get along with them. (Basically, The Doctor, Freddy, The Legion, and The Spirit are among his “doesn’t get along with” list)

He’s been around The Trapper the longest out of the killers so he’s use to Evan’s brand of Asshattery.

Him and Amanda tend to casually hang around with each other the most. He knows where the best stuff in the scrap yard is and they have similar interests in tinkering. (mlm and wlw solidarity)

Bubba, Max, and Evan come to Phil and Amanda whenever their equipment needs to be fixed.

Phil also likes to spend time with The Hag. He talks to her about the magic he learned from his homeland and helps her gather herbs.

He really just wants to be useful.

The Hag

Lisa knows the most about herbs and plants. Which ones are safe to eat, or what effects they cause when ingested. The Clown likes to get her advice when making new potions.

The Hag, The Huntress, Bubba and The Hillbilly are in charge of the Homestead end of things. (Farming and Cultivating... growing food, animal husbandry and butchering... Actual cooking the meals is on rotate among all the killers (at least those that at minimum know how to boil water)).

Lisa knows Rune Crafting, and recognizes that Myers has a spell/curse placed on him. She doesn’t tell any of the other killers she knows this.

Her Teleport spell can pull Freddy out of the dreamworld... if she has hold of him when she activates it. She almost did it twice, but he managed to break her grip and is staying away from her now.

The Nurse, being a super natural creature, is more accepting of The Hag’s witchcraft, apothecary, and homeopathy than The Doctor is.

The Hag and The Doctor get in frequent arguments based on their different world views.

The Trapper

The “Bad Boss” of the group.

Is an ass to anybody that doesn’t do what he wants.  (One part, Biff Tannon, One Part Al Bundy)

The other killers often forget that he is book-smart (came from a rich family, actually went to collage) because of how big of a douche bag he acts.

Evan relies too much on the few people that know what they are doing to do everything (The Nurse, especially)

Evan’s orders are easier to shirk/get around, because they are often bad orders that make no sense. It also doesn’t take much to “suck up” to him and get him to forget about something they’ve did wrong. Which is mainly why people side with him over The Doctor. 

His “cronies” are The Hillbilly and The Clown, and (with some arm twisting) The Wraith and Bubba.

He’s mainly buddy-buddy with The Clown because Kenny makes the best fucking bathtub gen in the realm.

He becomes a CHAD-DORK around Amanda (She knows this, is not interested in him, but gets him to do whatever she wants).

He is very particular when it comes to self-grooming. When he is not “working” / killing he likes to keep himself clean. He showers twice a day, and spends a lot of time shaving... to the point he’s practically bald all over his body.

He uses a straight razor to shave, a very sharp one.

He gets annoyed when the other killers don’t groom themselves on a regular basis. He understands it is dirty work, but there is a time and place to be dirty. (zombies and undead not withstanding, being dead/rotting can’t be helped).

The Huntress

She’s the most “efficient” of the non-magical killers.... all aside from:

Her near-constant singing and talking would annoy some of the Killers (who believe silence was the key), until they saw her sling a hatchet and down a survivor. 

She has no personal-space bubble. Will kiss people on the cheek/mouth in greeting (if they don’t flinch/push away from her)... it surprises most of the others that first time because it isn’t a common practice in America, where most of the killers are from, nor in modern society outside of one’s actual family.

Doesn’t shave.  She thought it was an odd grooming custom when she was watching Amanda shaving her legs and armpits in the bath. Men only shave/trim their beards cleanliness. She sees no reason for a woman to shave.

Anna goes out of the way to talk to the “outliers” of the Killer Group. (The Spirit, Myers, The Legion, and Bubba). Even if it is just to say “Hello.” and get no response in return.

Anna has child-like interests. Likes to talk about fairy tales and folk legends. Collects odd knickknacks (buttons, paper clips, caps off pens, pieces of ribbon, beads, rocks...). Play dress up with other Killer’s clothes (try on their masks and play with their weapons). She jumps in mud puddles and catches bugs/small animals with her bare hands to show others.

She first caught Bubba and Myers attention by showing them a frog she caught and pulled its legs off in front of them (Bubba then ate the frog). Myers was just...enthralled...  he was going to kill the frog if she handed it to him and she just did it.

From then on Bubba liked to join her on any weird quests she would have (like as if he was her little big-brother). The Wraith would follow to make sure they aren’t getting into trouble.

The Huntress got pretty good at guessing what Bubba is saying. It helped that when she first came here she didn’t know English and had to often pantomime what she wanted to the others as well.

She wants to be a helper, but her brand of help tends to lean towards “s-mothering”....

The Hag, The Clown, The Wraith, The Nurse, The Pig, and The Doctor are the ones she actually treats like her elders....

The Trapper and The Hillbilly are on “peer” level with her. Myers was... until she realized he was a walking disaster, and actually knew the least out of the whole group.

So... The Legion, Myers, Bubba.... she latched onto them as her special “projects”

(The Spirit and Freddy are in the “no” zone)

The Hillbilly

Is a slow talker and mumbler, but not dumb (actually he’s rather average, just uneducated. he believes he is stupid because he was told he was his whole life)

He can’t hear out of one ear because of his deformities and the loud chainsaw. People often have to repeat things because of that.

Max could be found either at The Trapper’s side, or at the homestead in the barn with the goats and pigs (he feels safe in there)

He makes Amanda new pig masks when ever they get old or damaged.

The Hag watches his back, making sure the others don’t treat him poorly. 

Max and Bubba do get along, even though it is difficult for Max to understand what Bubba wants.

The Legion tend to antagonize him and Bubba at the same time with their trivial prattling about Max being a “rip off”.

The Clown

Is the actual “boss” of the group, but doesn’t claim to be. Even though he knows damn well he is.

Kenny would hear what the Trapper wants done, and often tweak the orders to be more feasible when relaying them to the others.

Kenny’s big loud personality stood out. He was better at working a crowd than Herman and Evan.  

He can get the more “outlying” killers to listen to him.

He got where he was because he showed up rather late in the game. Nothing was getting done, there was little to no cohesion among the factions. Half the team barely listened to The Trapper, the other Half tended to do whatever the hell they wanted.

He managed to get The Legion to act less like little shits to the rest of the killers all the fucking time.

Myers would trail behind Kenny, or low-key stalk him. The Clown could never manage to pin him down to confront him about it. The others told him not to bother. After The Legion came, Susie eventually told him it was because Myers really liked clowns as a kid. Kenny began to think of Myers as a  “stray cat.”

The only killer that Freddy actually kind of likes and would take “requests” from. They both have a dark sense of humor and are practical jokers. The Clown’s potions also make people easier to put asleep. (Kenny just knows not to be a total dick to your “coworkers” or you’ll be spinning your wheels in the mud the whole time)

The Legion

For the longest time the four of them stuck together, not interacting with the other killers outside of being trolls or antagonists to them.

Frank and Julie were the “spokes persons” whenever they had to make “demands” to the other killers.

They did not to approach any of the killers alone.

The Spirit was the first of the killers to hang around with them as a “friend”. They were close to her age (of death) and as condescending as she was. They also helped her with her English.... kind of.

Myers and Freddy had tried to “pick them off”....

With Myers, they over stepped their boundaries when it came to his comfort zone and he wanted to get rid of them. He knocked Frank unconscious, broke Joey’s arm, and was about to moire Julia before Anna and Bubba were able to pull him away (Susie ran to get help).

Freddy did so for his own sadistic pleasure. After several days of sleep deprivation, and Susie needing to be waken from a coma:  The Doctor and The Nurse eventually stepped in to get Freddy to leave them alone.

The Huntress and The Clown took responsibility of The Legion after the attacks (Along with Myers, Bubba, and The Spirit... all those in need of “special attention” or those that are in the habit of isolating themselves (it is also why Kenny became “frenemies” with Freddy, to keep him from completely turning on the group))

The Legion’s love of Slasher Movies made them experts on Lore regarding Bubba, Myers, OG Freddy.... only up until the mid-90′s.... they never got to see the Halloween reboots: H20/Res, or even the RZ remakes, nor FvJ, Jason X or the Remakes of F13 and Elm Street. They think Amanda was another one of the “in house” killers like The Trapper, The Wraith, and The Nurse.

They never been in a Hot Topic. Because there wasn’t one where they lived.  Most of their gear was stolen from concerts, bikers, and sports supplies stores.

The Internet was barely functional in the 90′s... to hear Amanda talk about modern technology and smart phones in the 2010′s, it is moon speak to them. (it is moon speak to most of the killers)

The Plague

“Avoid like The Plague” became serious business.

She only speaks Ancient Mesopotamian. Refuses to lower herself to speak the tongue language of these barbarians.

Freddy’s the only one that can communicate with her due to conversations in the “mind/dream” realm being more mental-emotion based than literal-verbal language based.

She still treats him like he is a worm and a viper. Does not trust anything he tells her.

Prolong exposure to her presence will cause sickness and wounds to become infected more easily.

She was banned from being around their social/common spaces, and food and water sources by the other killers due to her infectious presence.

Spends most of her time at the killer camp encased in a tomb in isolation.

Bubba

Best cook (don’t question the mystery meat...)

Anna is like the cool sister he always wanted. She’s nice to him, looks after him, and can skin a whole dear in under 20min.

Bubba doesn’t like The Legion. They would tease him more than the others. It doesn’t take much for him to go into a tantrum, or run off and cry, so they saw an easy target. (They knew when the fucked up when Anna has to get involved.... we’re sorry team mom.)

The Nurse and The Spirit scare him. He gets the heebie-geebies every time they look at him. Freddy is the worst.

Amanda

Amanda has a crush on Anna, but Anna is so obvious.

She tried to be nice to The Legion when they first arrived, but they were too immature and antagonistic.

The Wraith’s cloaking is about the extent of “supernatural” she could handle. It took her a long time not to freak out over The Nurse and The Spirit still creeps her out. Freddy... lives up to his name as The Nightmare.

At least most of the killers are just big men... she could handle dealing with men.

She is aware that there is a rivalry over her between some of the men. Phil, she’s pretty sure he’s gay, even if he won’t say it... But Evan, Max, and Herman are always trying to do favors for her...  (she suspects it is because she’s the most ‘normal’ adult woman among the sausage party)

She stays clear of Myers out of principle. She watched the Halloween movies, knows what he is capable of and that reason rarely worked with him. If she had him in a proper trap-house, he’d be at her mercy, but roaming free like this? no.

Her and The Clown only sort of get along. He’s too loud and handzy, like an old drunk at a bar. She put his arm in a trap that he couldn’t break free of. He had it on for three days before he apologized to her.

Freddy

The best scout... rarely does it though.

Freddy was better at avoiding any chores around the compound than Rin and Myers... until The Legion let slip that Freddy was a gardener/grounds keeper in his past life...

He used his powers on all the killers, at least once, just to test their reactions or to see what was inside their minds. Those with traumatic pasts were easy to get to.

Those that couldn’t fight back he stayed on them longer.

Until they started grouping up against him.

The Nurse, The Spirit, and The Doctor became the “vanguard” against his meddling. They could either physically attack him in the dream world or cancel out his powers all together. (The Doctor could even pull people out of a coma)

He isn’t friends with any of the killers. The Clown is the closest, and that’ll be an associate/coworker at best.

Freddy knows what The Clown is doing, and his dislike of The Doctor and the incompetence of The Trapper made him more willing to follow along with Kenny setting himself up as a back-door boss.

Michael

Was the last of the killers to “crack” and come into the group (stalking and observing didn’t count)

Nobody knew what his name was until Amanda showed up. He was just “The Shape” to them. “Holy shit! That’s Michael Myers!” 

Nobody knew his Middle-Name until The Legion wouldn’t stop calling him “Audrey”

He ignores Evan and Herman, more so when they get into cockfights over leadership. They both tried to “appeal” to him at some point to join their side.

Within the first two nights of coming to the realm, he got into a fist-fight with Evan, they both ended up rather bloody and beaten out of it. They even managed to pull their masks off in the fight. At the end of it, Evan was all “You’re just some punk kid. You ain’t worth my time.” and left Myers to his isolation after that.

Herman showed up in the realm after Myers. He introduced himself, got nowhere with the questions, and began to preach at him about “dissociative disorders”.... things Myers heard far too much about from the doctors at Smiths Grove. But this doctor was dangerous, and he only had to be hit once by the doctors madness effect to realize not not to start a fight with him and to keep his distance if possible.

There was something about The Hag’s magic that sends him on edge. It makes the hairs prickle the back of his neck whenever she activates a teleport (he didn’t even have to hear or see it go off... he’d just know) . There was a lot of things about The Hag that The Shape part of his brain responds to, like they knew one another somehow....

When all the killers go on team missions, The Clown would be assigned to keep an eye on Michael (not necessarily to work as a team, but for buddy-system safety reasons). Kenny would often address him as “My Boy” instead of his name or “The Shape” ... Michael doesn’t mind it too much.

They first tried teaming The Spirit up with Myers, but he would refuse to work with her and she took every opportunity to shirk responsibilities (she basically reminded him too much of Judith)... so nothing got done.

Freddy once attempted to put Myers to sleep, it only put the “Michael” part to sleep, but The Shape fully took over and went into berserker mode. (The Trapper, The Hillbilly, The Doctor, The Nurse, and The Huntress were needed just to pin him down and they had to lock him up until he passed out)

Myers almost drowned once (the survivors had a water trap made for The Doctor, when they set it off it dropped half the killers into a lake along with it. The Doctor managed to get a hold of The Hag and Teleport out of the way). Anna had to drag him out of the water and give him mouth-to-mouth. She was then determined to teach him how to swim. (after he got over the pneumonia from having his lungs full of dirty pond water). He found the whole thing embarrassing... especially the lessons, having to be half necked in the water with Anna, who only had a pair of shorts on and had her arms around him....ffffff.... not to mention The Spirit was watching....fml.

Because of that, Anna was the first person he said something to in 15 years (even if it is 90% “yes” and “no”... everybody (besides The Legion) thought he was mute, but when Anna asked “can you breathe?” and he gagged out a “yes” it surprised them all.)

She convinced him to eat meals around the others more often after that. He stuck close to Anna, Bubba, and Kenny the most. He didn’t mind The Wraith that much either... Still don’t like The Spirit. And he only goes around The Nurse if he has to  (after a week being sick and in Sally’s care... he’s just done with ghosts.... Rin, Sally, Freddy.... gtf away)

He would be one of the better killers, if he didn’t play around so much with his kills. Anna showed him how to kill people/animals faster... it actually made him play with them even more because he then knew what to do to prolong the process.

Myers and Anna are both Bi-Ace.... love and friendship isn’t in Myers vocabulary... they got stuck in an endless “repay a favor” loop after her rescuing him and giving him lessons.

They have to work around each other when on a hunt. He personally thinks she is too noisy and annoying on a hunt, and she thinks he takes too long fooling around. (he often has to change his killing style to go around hers, which he does not like to do).

When they are paired together on a mission, they would eventually start fighting with each other... it startled the survivors when they heard Myers tell her to “Shut. the. FUCK. UP!” about the singing and telling him to hurry up.  She then got so mad she was cursing him out in Russian... The Survivors still joke about them being an old married couple.... to their faces even. Laurie especially).

[awol-newt]

our family of choice AU masterlist

sunbeams will soon smile through (good morning)come on and play (what do ya say?)This is the masterlist for my “our family of choice AU” series.

In chronological order, titles only:

we will rise above all the ash

the darkest country road

take me home (mommy, i’m coming home)

two of us (riding nowhere)

they say that time's supposed to heal ya

love and security and family and maltesers 

friends and allies

this isn’t oliver twist

chase the monsters away (don’t be afraid)

i’ll play my fight song

come on and play (what do ya say?)

it’s a brand new day (i know i’ll be okay)

there’s dirt on our uniforms

blue eyes, blue eyes

fox in the snow (where do you go?)

driving away from the wreck of the day    (and it’s finally quiet in my head)

after the bombs

we fight those demons (day in and day out)

kodachrome

beaches, music, family, and love

all will be well

it's rock and roll (kind of love)

something is fishy in this here town

calamity jane isn’t bulshar

sunbeams will soon smile through (good morning)

it’s not about your scars (it’s all about your heart)

with a little help from my friends

can i be the kid for your soul to keep?

soon the fog will clear

Chronological order with summaries after the cut.

In chronological order:

we will rise above all the ash

Summary: everybody thinks about family a little differently. the scooby gang is no different. here are six brief character studies on thoughts on family.

part of 'our family of choice au' but can also stand alone - the darkest country road

Summary: One revenant left.There’s only one revenant left to make his peace before they finally, finally, end this godforsaken curse. Before they can breathe a little easier. Before they can begin to heal after so many years of fighting, fighting, fighting.

Before Alice can come home.

They just have to find him first, and that's easier said than done. - take me home (mommy, i’m coming home)

Summary: It takes them four years to break the curse.

Four years to succeed where previous generations of Earps had failed. Four years of fighting tooth and nail for a future without fear, without the weight of the curse bearing down on them, all the while wondering if they’ll come out of this alive.But they do it.

OR

Alice is finally coming home and family means everything. - two of us (riding nowhere)

Summary: Nicole and Waverly are nervous about possibly taking on the responsibility of a child. Both of them share fears and anxieties. If only the two of them actually talked to each other about them.

OR

Neither Nicole nor Waverly wants to worry the other, so they play a broken record for a couple of their friends. - they say that time's supposed to heal ya

Summary: Wynonna isn’t good at apologizing. Honestly, she’s pretty awful at it if her encounter with flipping August Hamilton is any indication. It also made at least one other thing perfectly clear — Wynonna has hurt a lot of people and she won’t ever win a popularity contest in Purgatory.

She isn’t good at apologies. But she needs to get this one right. She needs for this one to be real and good and honest and genuine. Because she needs Alice to know.

She’s sorry. - love and security and family and maltesers

Summary: Nedley always said that there will be one case that really gets to you, that crawls beneath your skin and makes a home there, nagging and ever-present from that moment forward. It’s the case that will change your life in some way or another. The case that could make or break you as a person.

For Nicole, it's a case that leads her to a little girl named Belle and a heart that doesn't know how to do anything but love fiercely. - friends and allies

Summary: It’s been three days since the fight. Since she heard more screaming and hollering from her ma and papa than she ever heard before — and that was a lot. Sometimes they’d shout so much that she’d hide somewhere other than her room just so they couldn’t find her easily and start in on her, too. Three days since everything changed.

And today — today Waverly and Nicole ask her if she would like to meet some of their family this weekend. Because Sunday dinners once a month are a thing because family is important and so is the reminder that you aren't alone in the world. Except Belle just isn't sure what all this means for her when she doesn't have a family anymore.

OR

It's time for Belle to meet some adorable psychos. - this isn’t oliver twist

Summary: Nicole doesn’t notice it at first. The way that food seems to go missing like the sleeve of crackers from the brand new box that she bought over the weekend. Or the last bagel from the cupboard. She figures it’s Waverly taking snacks into the office for Alice and Belle on the days that Gus can’t look after them.She doesn’t notice that food keeps disappearing until Lonnie barges into her office holding the brown sack lunch that she knows his wife puts together for him every morning. - chase the monsters away (don’t be afraid)

Summary: There's a monster under Belle's bed. It comes for her in her nightmares, and she wakes up crying, "Nicole! Nicole!"

OR

Nicole just wants to be a good foster parent and protect and love the little girl in her care. Because she made a promise of love, security, family, and maltesers. - i’ll play my fight song

Summary: Nicole's radio crackles and the dispatcher's voice sounds through the static. "Sheriff?"

"Go for Haught."

"Purgatory elementary called, ma'am."

OR

It's Belle's first day of kindergarten and already Nicole is hearing from the principal before the day is over. - come on and play (what do ya say?)

Summary: “I thought it’s supposed to be a sexy cop outfit.”Wynonna leans against the doorway to the kitchen, already gnawing on a Tootsie Pop that has turned her lips cherry red. The hood of her rainbow onesie is pulled up around her head and she has her creepy horse mask in the hand not holding onto her third lollipop of the night.

OR

It's Belle's first Halloween with all the crazy that is her foster family and its adorable psychos. - it’s a brand new day (i know i’ll be okay)

Summary: “You know that you need to stop being dumb and go help your girlfriend, right?”

Nicole shakes her head and explains, “She got mad when I didn’t cut the crust off the sandwiches the ‘right way’. I’ve been instructed to ‘keep the peace’ until everything is ready and the girls are here.”

Wynonna snorts. “Yeah. She’s in full panic mom mode.”

“This is important to her, Wynonna,” Nicole chides, feeling protective even though she knows it was said in jest.

OR

It's a found family picnic/party because an occasion such as this is worthy of celebration. -

there’s dirt on our uniforms

Summary:  Violence is never the answer, except when sometimes it is. Like when it comes to punching Champ Hardy's evil spawn in the schnoz. Nothing like punching Champ Hardy's evil spawn in the schnoz while sporting some sick Buzz Lightyear light-up sneakers. - blue eyes, blue eyes

Summary: “So. Wanna tell me why your cousin broke Chump Jr.’s nose?”

Wynonna wants to know why Belle sucker punched Bradley James in the schnoz, and she asks Alice for the answer.

A follow-up ficlet to there's dirt on our uniforms. - fox in the snow (where do you go?)

Summary: Belle pulls at the knit toque on her head, trying to tug it over her ears, which are starting to sting in the cold. She waits, kicking at a pine cone on top of the snow. It sails down the hill, broken apart by the force of her kick and already brittle from the wintry weather.

She isn’t particularly sure that they should be doing this. Her mama told them to stay out of trouble because she had to run into town to drop something off at the station. She said she trusted them not to do something that Wynonna would do because they’re smarter and more responsible than that.

Does building a toboggan obstacle course on the steepest hill on the homestead count as smart and responsible?

(Probably not.) - driving away from the wreck of the day (and it’s finally quiet in my head)

Summary: The scene is familiar. The two of them, sitting on the floor and passing a bottle of whiskey back and forth. Both of them more than a little drunk. This time, however, they’re in Nicole’s office with the blinds closed and the door shut and locked, leaning with their backs against the couch.

Silence settles on them like a blanket. It’s suffocating, oppressive, and too damn heavy. They sit like that for a while, pensive and languishing under too much weight on their shoulders and on their souls.

“Today was hard,” Nicole whispers, peeling back the quiet just enough to breathe a little easier. - after the bombs

Summary: Nobody would say that Wynonna Earp doesn’t know how to cope.

They just wouldn’t say that she knows how to cope well.

Especially when she drives out to the outskirts of town with a bottle of whiskey, a box of ammo, and a long-standing quarrel with the Welcome to Purgatory sign. - we fight those demons (day in and day out)

Summary: It’s been three weeks since Wynonna turned up at the house with her arms wrapped protectively around Nicole, both of them smelling like cheap whiskey and looking like a rough night personified. Three weeks since Nicole ran into a hostage situation like a brave idiot, only to watch an entire family cut down in less than a minute. Three weeks of being distant and stubborn and stupid. They need to talk.

OR

Nicole is pretty awful about admitting that she needs help. - kodachrome

Summary: Focus, click, wind.It's Belle's birthday and time to play hooky with a trip to the big city. All she wants is a camera, a trip to the park, a nice dinner, and maybe some ice cream for dessert. 

Nicole thinks that she can make most of those things happen. - beaches, music, family, and love

Summary: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We've been cleared to land at Jose Martí International Airport where the local time is 2:40pm. It's currently a balmy twenty-seven degrees celsius with sunny skies and no rain in the forecast. We know you have lots of options when it comes to flying these days, so we thank you for choosing to fly with Air Canada and we hope to see you again soon.”

OR

A Wayhaught family honeymoon. - all will be well

Summary: Wynonna is turning forty. This year, that means a party at Moose Lake.

For Nicole, it means everything.

OR

Nicole loves her found family and everything is beautiful and nothing hurts. - it's rock and roll (kind of love)

Summary: Belle waits patiently, watching the grin spread across the older girl’s face. More than a minute passes and Belle’s patience wanes. “What is it?” she finally asks.

Alice grins even bigger and belly flops onto Belle’s bed. “We’re going to start a band.” She says it like it’s the best idea that she’s ever had. Her blue eyes hold a glimmer of excitement, waiting for her cousin — her best friend — to say something.

OR

a tribute to the 80’s mixtape AU by gilligankane and thegaysmurf - something is fishy in this here town

Summary: “Harriet the Spy,” she reads the title aloud.

“Like that really old movie?” Vanessa asks and she’s leaning forward over her tray of meatloaf and mixed vegetables — because school lunches never change — to get a better look at the cover.

Belle opens it to a random page and reads the first thing that catches her eye. She looks up. “I think it might be,” she tells them. She thumbs through it to another page, green eyes quickly skimming over the text with practiced ease. “Yeah. I think it is.”

OR

Belle and Alice are inspired to become spies. - calamity jane isn’t bulshar

Summary: “No,” Nicole says firmly. “Absolutely not.”

“But, mom, where else will she go? Look at her face!”

Belle pouts and lifts the cat as high as she can to try to shove its face into Nicole’s.

OR

Belle finds a cat on her way home from school and of course it turns into more trouble than any of them expect. - sunbeams will soon smile through (good morning)

Summary: “Hey! You gonna help me or not?”

“That depends. Do you have a fire extinguisher this time?”

“That was one time and you were supposed to be in charge of the waffle maker.”

“It had faulty wiring.”

“You almost burned down my moms’ house.”

“Shoulda has a fire extinguisher handy.”

OR

Belle wants to make breakfast for her moms and enlists Alice's help. She's not sure if she would have been better off with or without it. - it’s not about your scars (it’s all about your heart)

Summary: "Why did we think a bar fight outside of Shorty's was a good idea?"

OR

Alice and Belle end up in the drunk tank at the sheriff's station. No regrets, though. They'd totally do it again. - with a little help from my friends

Summary: Officer Paten rests her hands on her duty belt as she saunters toward them. Her eyes look pointedly at the cling wrap box still in Wynonna’s hands to the mickey of Jameson that Nicole is holding. Behind them is a truck wrapped almost completely in plastic wrap.

“Sheriff,” the deputy drawls.

“Officer Paten,” Nicole greets as if they haven’t just vandalized somebody’s property. - can i be the kid for your soul to keep?

Summary: Sometimes sadness creeps up on you like a looming shadow that you don’t notice until it towers over you, blocking out the warmth and the light. Sometimes you can see it coming from a mile away, slow and steady like an impending storm that is set on a collision course for your heart and mind, ready to devastate you whether you're ready or not.

Belle isn't ready for it. She doesn't expect it. It knocks her on her ass and leaves her there to cope. Her family reminds her that she doesn't have to do it alone. - soon the fog will clear

Even though she knows that this, too, will pass, her dark days linger. Sadness still wraps its way around Belle's heart and mind and soul, and even if her family can't make things magically good again, they can make things better. Little by little.

A follow-up to can i be the kid for your soul to keep?.

[prettieparker86]

All For You Part 2

Part 1, Part 3,  Part 4 & Part 5

Pairing: William “Cap” Hatfield X Reader

Warning: Mentions of death and murder

Gifs: Are by the following talented bloggers @artemisms @cluehunts Full credit to them. They are incredibly talented.

A/N: As someone who works in the mental health field, I really tried to apply what I know about grief and depression to the flashback in this chapter. And how both grief and depression is really life changing and make us do and become people we never thought we would. This story picks up where the last one left off, with the conversation at the Hatfield homestead, after Will, you and, Johnse went outside. Flashbacks at the bottom. 

And if you want to read it as a character, not “reader”, it can be found here 

HERE

I hope this storyline makes sense. I prefer to imply things rather than throw them in your face, but if there’s any confusion, please let me know. 

As soon as Johnse was outta ear shot, you turn to Will. 

“Why ‘re you doin this?” You asked plainly, keeping your voice purposefully low as you search his face for answers in the dimming light.

Will looks down at you suddenly, finally meeting your eyes, and all you see is stubborn and steel staring back at you.

“S’ones gotta.” He answers curtly, before moving swiftly across the porch, his boots heavy against the old boards.

You let out a heavy sigh. Damn him. He’s too good to you. Too good of a man. Too loyal for his own good. 

He’s been there for you through every tribulation in your life and you can see now he’s determined to see you through this one too.

 Following him over to the side of the porch, you lean your back against the railing Will’s arms rest on, facing him. 

Sweeping your gaze all around to make sure no one’s nearby to hear you, you turn back, your hand reaching out for him. 

Your fingers gently take hold of his firm jawline, the tiny hairs pricking at your fingertips as you draw his face to yours. 

“Will.” You call before he meets your gaze willingly.

 “It’s not yer mess” You tell him softly, your eyes reaching out to him.

Without a word, Will reaches for your hand, drawing it to his mouth where his lips sweep gently across your knuckles. 

A slow smile tugs on his face as he gazes upon you, the one that always makes you weak in the knees. 

Releasing you hand, he tenderly sweep his thumb across your cheek.

“It’s my kin though, ain’t it?”

 You bite your bottom lip to fight back the tears that wanna form under the weight of his stare, under the weight of his tenderness toward you, as you steadily nod your head in response. 

You love this man. You’ve loved him since before you knew what love was. And that’s why you can’t bear to let him sacrifice himself and his future for you. 

It was always supposed to be you and Will ending up together. You knew it since the first time you imagined yourself a wife, but this changed everything. 

Letting him take you and this baby on. Letting him raise it as his own. You loved Will too much to put that on him.

 “You don’ know what yer doin. Don’ know what yer signin’ yerself up for.” Your breath quivers as you try to set him free while he’s insisting on throwing himself in the line of fire for you.

“You ‘member that time when we was just kids ‘n I took my Pa’s gun ‘n went down by the river without askin?” Will asked, changing the subject so quick it took you a minute to follow and then recollect what he was talking about.  

As the memory came back to you, you slowly nodded unsure where this was leading.

“Pa was madder than a hornet’s nest when he figur’d that one out.” Will recalls with a low whistle. 

“but you lied, tellin’ ‘em it was your idea. Said you begged me to do it. I still got a whoopin’ but it wasn’ nearly as bad as it woulda been.” Will wraps up his story and you finally understand the point he’s trying to make.

 “Will we was just kids and that was a silly lie. This is yer life we’re talkin about here.” You said, trying to make him see the two were not comparable.

Will lets out a heavy sigh, slowly shaking his head from side to side as if you don’t understand, he was in this with you. 

Lifting off the railing of the porch, he turns to you fully. His hands suddenly around your cheeks, gently cupping your face as he stares down into your eyes with such sincerity and intensity you can’t look away.

 “I saw the look in yer eyes that night. When you said you couldn’ marry ‘im. Said you couldn’ bear it… Now ya don’ have to Darlin’.” Will finished unflinchingly, his eyes reaching for you before he leans down to place a soft kiss upon your forehead.

Pulling back, Will moves to the front of the porch. Moves down the steps till he lowers himself onto one. 

His eyes scanning out over the field and into the dense woods as nightfall takes hold over the ridge.

Four And A Half Months Earlier…

 You hadn’t spoken much in days besides to Cotton. It was your job to watch over him now and you took it very seriously. 

You did your chores without complaint. Helped Levicy anyway you could around the house and with the kids since they took you and Cotton in. 

Kept your hands busy. Little time for your mind to idle. 

But your mouth… your mouth didn’t have much to say these days. This was something words couldn’t fix.

You don’t sleep much either. 

Can’t close your eyes without seeing that hot musky room, pungent with the stench of your Pa’s blood. 

The sound of your Pap’s labored wheeze every time he struggled to take a breath. 

Lying cold and clammy on that bed with stab wounds and a bullet hole littering his abdomen. 

His blood smeared all over his pale skin, staining everything it touched, staining you. 

The fear of God in your brother’s eyes as he sat steadfast beside you by his bedside until your Pa’s strong chest stopped trembling anymore.

 You keep your head down and your grief to yourself. There’s no room for weakness in this family. Though you know you ain’t the only one feeling the loss. 

You care for your brother with envy. He’s so much stronger than you, so much more resilient. He misses your Pa something desperate, he tells you often, but he’s coping. 

That big light of his too bright for anything to snuff out. Even losing Pa. You wish you were as strong as him.

 It’s Levicy who suggests Will take you, Cotton and the younger ones down to the river. The day was hot and the water would be cool. Chores were done and dinner didn’t need to be started yet, timing was right. 

Your aunt was a good woman, she could see the pain you were struggling with in your eyes, and you could see the concern in hers. 

Everybody knew if anyone could coax a smile out of you, it’d be Will.

 The sun was hot that day and the air thick as you rested on a rock along the river’s edge. 

Watching as Nancy and Mary tip toed along the water covered stones giggling as they went, while Robert E and Cotton tried to catch crawfish along the murky shore. Will had wandered off, you weren’t sure where.

 You weren’t much for laughing and carrying on these days. Sitting on the sidelines, watching as life carried on for others was enough for you. 

Lately everything felt too dull and gray to light a spark in you. You didn’t see the point in much anymore. You went through the motions, doing what was expected of you, but none of it mattered, very little brought you joy.

 A shadow suddenly towered over you, blocking the sun that was warming your skin just before you felt a hand slip into your own. 

Giving your hand a gentle tug, you turned to see Will smiling down at you. That big toothy grin of his that could make something inside you come back to life if only for a moment. 

His lips curled as he pulls you to your feet and tugs you toward him. You’re not sure what he’s doing, but you let him take the lead, because whatever it is, he seems pretty eager. 

You willingly follow until he starts pulling you away from the water and towards the tree line. Only then do you start to pull back.

 “I don’ wanna leave Cotton by the water.” You tell him. Your heart starting to hammer in your chest with the mere thought of it. 

Ever since losing your Pa a week and a half ago you’ve been plagued by terrible thoughts of losing Cotton too. 

Every time he’s near something that could go awry, you heart starts pounding, your breath picks up, your mind always stirring up just how badly things could turn. Whipping you up into a panic.

 You couldn’t bear it if something happened to him. You couldn’t bear to lose him. He was all you had left.

 The look in Will’s eye softens, seeming to see your worries. Reaching out, he gently strokes your cheek with his thumb. 

His callused skin rough enough to remind you your still alive. 

You swear Will sees more with his one good eye than most do with two. And ever since your Pa died, he’s been keeping close.

“Nance!” Will hollered, looking over your shoulder. You glance back to see Nancy’s face whip up and look your way before you hear Will again. 

“Keep an eye on ‘erybody. We’ll be right back.” He calls.

 “A’right” Nancy hollers back, but you can see the question in her narrowing gaze as Will start tugging you toward the trees.

“Gotta show you somethin’.” He explained as you turn back. Will leads you into the trees, old, thick, and as tall as the eyes could see. 

You clutch his hand tighter and feel him return your squeeze.

He leads you just a litter further, you can still clearly hear the river running nearby, the sound of your brother’s laughter breaking through the forest, setting your heart at ease, before Will stops and turns to you, something mischievous in his eye.

 You wait unsure what’s got him so excited, till he steps to the side and you realize it’s a raspberry bush behind him.

“Yer favorite.” He says, grin spreading on his face as he watches you, waiting on your reaction.

You nod feeling touched. “You ‘membered.” You say almost breathlessly as a smile fills your face. 

Surprised he would remember something so simple, but he’s been trying so hard lately. Trying to pull you out of the hole you’ve found yourself face first in.

“Course,” Will nods, as if it’s a given he’d know your favorite berry. 

His gaze fixes upon your every move. Watching you like you hung the moon as his smile turns to a deeper smirk.

The weight of his stares makes your belly tingle as you pluck a few berries off the branch.

“I missed that.” He says suddenly, a glint in his eye as his smirk holds steadfast.

 “What?” You question, glancing back up at him, unsure what he means.

The look in his eyes takes you captive, nearly steals your breath before he speaks again. “Yer smile.”

You feel your cheeks grow hot, your belly fluttering against the look in his eyes. He always has this unmistakable way of getting to you.

Dropping your gaze down to the bush, trying to contain the blush on your cheeks, you plop a berry in your mouth and savor the taste. 

Sweet and tart all at once, your favorite. Your Pap’s too. He always said you got that from him.

 A memory filled your mind with the thought. A memory from a long time ago, on a hot summer day in the Appalachians, when you and Cotton was just kids. 

Sitting out under the sun on a blanket while you and Cotton took turns trying to toss raspberries at your Pa and seeing if he could catch them in his mouth. 

You could still hear Cotton’s high pick laugh mixed with your Pa’s hearty chuckle as he bobbed around the blanket, missing more than he caught. 

Your Pa was always laughing, always smiling.

 Your throat instantly tightened, your heart physically ached within the confines of your chest… 

You were never going to see that smile again… 

You were never going to hear that laugh… 

Your Pa’s death felt like a hole cut out inside you. A hole nothing and nobody could fix. It felt like an unrelentingly void sucking up everything good. 

Losing your Pa changed something in you. Something a part of you you didn’t even know was there until it was gone and all you could do was feel it’s absence.

You can vaguely feel the warmth of tears streaming down your face, but you don’t really realize you’re crying until you feel Will pull you against him, wrapping his arms tightly around you.

 A shuttered breath rips past your lips and rattles your chest as you bury your face in Will’s flannel covered chest. 

You feel his arm wrap tightly around your back, his other hand slipping into your hair, cradling the back of your head. 

His cheek nuzzles your hair, he surrounds you, so close you feel his warm breath on your scalp.

“Shhhh… I got you.” He tries to sooth as you feel his lips on the crown on your head.

You cling to him, fisting the flannel shirt at his back. Burying your nose deep against Will, sucking in his scent of gunpower and pine, and something distinctly him.

“What happen’ that day justice was served?” You asked, never pulling back from the comfort of Will’s arms. 

Wanting to hate those McCoy brothers after what they stole from you, what they stole from Cotton, but hate is a tricky thing that does little to sooth your grief.

You feel Will’s muscles tense slightly around you before he shakes his head lightly against yours.

“Is’ done.” He answers, holding his secrets to himself.

 Will did what was expected of him, you’re pretty sure he’s never killed a man before that day and knowing Will the way you do, you know that’s got to weigh on him. 

He’s strong, silent, but you saw the subtle change after he came back from those woods. You don’t want to pry, but there’s things you feel you need to know.

“Did they have remorse? Did they say ‘nything?” You asked, pressing it a little more.

Will was silent for a long time. So long you almost thought he wasn’t gonna answer you.

“They didn’ say nothin’, but they was scared.” He finally admits on a low gravel breath. 

His fingers digging into your scalp as he nuzzles the crown of your head as if it comforts him in some way.

 His answer doesn’t bring you solace. The same way it didn’t when you first learned justice had been served. 

That’s the funny thing about justice. It settles the score, but it don’t give you back what you lost. 

Your heart feels heavier, knowing Will’s carrying the weight of what he did. Knowing in some part he did it for you. Took on that burden and carries it for you.

Pulling back just enough to find his face, you reach up to cup Will’s cheek, scruff scratching at your palm as your eyes find and hold one another.

“I know that wasn’ easy for you. Hope ya know yer still a good man William Hatfield.” You tell him, pressing your words, hoping they sink in. 

“Always be a good one in my eyes.”

 Will gazes upon you deeply for a long time, the look in his eyes doing that thing that always makes it hard for you to breathe naturally. 

His gaze has a way of being so intense sometimes it’s almost hard to take. His hand leaves your waist to cradle you face while the other stays tangled in your hair. 

He leans down slowly, your belly tightening, unsure what he’s going to do till he gently brushes his nose against your own. 

Your eyes fall closed with the intimacy of his touch as you clutch him tighter, brushing his nose in return. 

He rests his forehead against yours, you feel his breath picking up under the closeness.

 You feel him guiding you backwards a few small steps till your back rests against a tree trunk. Will completely surrounds you. 

You’re lost in the feel of his thumb tenderly stoking your cheek, his fingers weaving through your hair as his hands cradling your face. 

You can feel his heavy breath on your lips, his forehead resting against yours as he gently nuzzles your nose with his once again, his mustache tickling your skin. 

Then he’s just holding you, you holding him, all tangled together. A deep breath shared between the two of you as his lips hover so close you can feel the ghost of them.

 You’ve never felt so close to him. Never felt so close to anyone. It’s an intimacy you’ve never known before Will. An intimacy and connection you’ve been so desperate to feel since losing your Pa.

“Yer the only one…” You whisper, the thought unfinished, too hard to define. 

He was everything, the only one who could make this pain bearable, the only one… Your heart pounds for him as you hold him tightly, breathing him in.

 “I’m here,” Will whispers back, before moving up your face, smothering his lips against your forehead in a way he knows he shouldn’t with your mouth. 

Clutching you tight, stroking your cheek one last time before he pulls away. Stepping back from you completely.

There’s a darkness waiting for you in Will’s eyes again when you open yours, the one you saw in the woods the day of the election. 

It sends a shiver down your spine with the sight of it. Your starting to understand what that look means.

 After breaking your gaze, Will looks anywhere but directly at you, trying to refocus himself. Being the gentleman you know he’s trying to be. 

Your heart starts to sink with a new set of emotions… guilt and remorse. 

Finally having a moment alone with Will for the first time since your kiss sends all your secrets floating up. If he knew what you had done the week prior, you’re pretty sure he wouldn’t of been holding you like that. 

It’s never been spoken between you two, but you know what you and Will have means something. Will’s different with you than anyone else. Always has been, but even more so now.

 Losing your Pa, watching him slowly suffer and die had changed something in you. And the grip this grief has upon you has changed you too. 

You’re not who you were before and nothing proves that more than the unspeakable thing you did a week prior. Guilt surges through you with a vengeance when you think about your soiled hands. 

You should of never followed Johnse up to his cabin by the still. Should of never drank some of his whiskey when he offered it. Trying to drown your sorrows like two fools. You didn’t know how to hold your liquor.

 You should of never been alone with Jonce, not in your right mind. But your Pap had died three days prior. Been savagely murdered trying to keep the peace while you were off kissing Will. Maybe you being there wouldn’t have made a difference, but you’ll never know and that’s what haunted you. 

Trying to nurse twenty-six stabs wounds and a gunshot as you watched the life drain out of your Pap broke something inside you. 

Misery loves company and Johnse was in no better shape. Always a soft heart, he was sinking under the weight of his guilt over what he and your kin had done to Roseanna’s brothers as retribution. Knowing she’d never forgive him for being a part of killing her brothers. He hadn’t even been allowed to see his own baby.

 A week ago you and Jonce hadn’t shown up home till well after dark. Will had already gone looking for you and your uncle Anse had been blinding mad. 

Johnse had lied that night, said you showed up at the cabin upset and fell asleep after a fit of tears. Said, you were so upset he didn’t want to wake you and that’s why y’all got home so late. 

Will showed no signs of disbelief, but Uncle Anse and aunt Levicy had doubt in their eyes when the story was told. Anse had more than a few words to say on the matter, but settled on making it clear to Jonce y’all weren’t to go off alone together again. 

You figured they were letting you off lite on account of everything you’d already been through that week. When all was said and done, you and Johnse shared a silent promise that night to never speak of the incident again. 

And you intended to do just that, steering clear of your oldest cousin ever since.

 As the days passed, you pushed that secret down deep inside you. So deep you hoped one day it would disappear entirely.

Be erased, undone like you wish it would, but as Will takes your hand and starts to head back toward the river, you’re starting to realize it ain’t that easy or simple. 

What you did, is like losing your Pa, it can’t be undid. And you’re struggling to live with it all.

Stopping suddenly, you force Will to as well. He looks back at you in anticipation before you speak. 

“Why ‘re you always pullin’ away first?” You boldly ask a question ladies aren’t supposed to, searching his eyes for truths. Not sure you have a right to call yourself a lady anymore anyway.

You know Will isn’t sinless. You know he frequents the tavern with Jim and Johnse, full of whiskey and whores. Whores you know he’s is no stranger to. 

And after the line you crossed last week, a part of you is mad, mad at yourself and maybe little him too. Knowing if you were gonna tarnish yourself, it should have been for him. And needing to know why he can cross that line with others, but never tries to cross it with you.

Will looks at you long and hard, something undefinable stirring in his eyes as he gazes down on you before he finally speaks.

 “Cuz I don’ trust myself ‘round you ‘n I couldn’ live with it if I did you wrong.” He answers honestly, the shift in his eyes as he speaks sending heat washing over you. 

That look and his words echo of things his lips won’t say, that what you share means something, you mean something. 

And knowing that weighs heavy on you. You know the truth would hurt him and the last thing you want in this world is to hurt him.

Turning back before this conversation can go any further, he starts toward the river, tugging you along, your heart heavy. 

Wishing you could take it all back, terrified of losing him completely.

[bloojayoolie]

Aesop, Arguing, and Bad: Fi 1 hr THE INFORMATION #1054 JULY 19, 2019 LINK https://ift.tt/1as9wVZ. IN THIS ISSUE: THE LAW: LEMONHEADS; DIFFICULT POETS: PANIC PRESIDENTIAL DOODLES; WSJ'S HISTORY OF THE LAST 130 YEARS WOLF PEACHES; TRAGIC GOOFY; GEORGE ORWELL; AUTHOR HALL OF SHAME; THE CLASH, IVY LEAGUE SCHOOLS AT A PARTY; WHICH WAY TO THE CITY ON A HILL? Dog Is Reincarnated Lover; Tough On Deceased Pretty Fr Glen Phillips, "That I would like to go west someday, among the badmen, and learn their ways." "I often think," said William Batchelder Tallent to "Well, first of all," said Glen Phillips, his aspirantly lawyerly mind already measuring out and weighing up all the angles, "You certainly don't have to go west to encounter badmen. Plenty of them in Florida, and all through the Southron, as I understand it. And second, you've been reading too damn many dime novels. And third the west ain't what it's cracked up to be nowadays. You may think it is populated with glamorous desperadoes who have a special code of honor. I'll admit that many of them have hair-trigger tempers, and are skilled in the use of firearms. But as for any of their other accomplishments, so far as I know, they have none. There are a lot of folks out there who want you to think they are bad. Transplanted city dubs on the run from the law who wear green derbies and parlez-vous in their own broken and twisted dialect incomprehensible except to those of their fellow brutes who grew up nursing a growler in some miserable slum. Those asses are soon make to look mighty small by genuine badmen. Most of whom are illiterate brutes who grew tired of pushing a plough back at the old homestead, and so they lit out for the west in search of whores and and drink and easy money. Most of them never find them. Instead, they end up getting a bad case of the yips, and fleeing like a scalded dog back to the old folks at home. Or, at best, a bad dose of the clap. Those who stay will often end their short careers as desperadoes by getting gut-shot by some skulking coward--not a pretty way to go-or by dancing a Tyburn jig, which, in case you don't know what that means, is what happens when your near neighbors and all the other not particularly good townfolk get tired of you and your brawling and lubberly antics and decide to lynch you by way of a hempen necktie. They are a murderous bunch, those westerners. In any event, hardly any one of these self-styled owlhoots ever makes it past thirty years of age, which puts them only slightly ahead of aborigines and cavemen and African savages in the longevity sweepstakes. Sure, a man may make his fortune out west, if only he can stand the acid, but it usually requires capital, sheer nerve, the morals of a python, and frozen balls of brass to go along with them As far as I know, Mawny, your folks are prosperous horse farmers. but do they even have two dollars in cold hard cash to rub together? I thought not. You'd almost be better off moving to Washington D.C and trying your luck there, as I plan to do someday, and the sooner the better. Washington DC may be a mere quagmire compared to the great world capitals such as Rome, London, Paris, Berlin, Prague, and Budapest-but for a bold scamp who is bound to make good, why, it's hard to beat for sheer opportunity. Furthermore, it's a known fact that all the best whiskey and all the prettiest whores are mostly to be found in the Babylon of the Potomac. "I can understand how you admire badmen, and maybe you would even like to be one yourself. But the real badmen-the ones who have any lasting effect on things as they are-the ones whose rule holds sway-are the fat and gasping pettifoggers who clog out courts and judiciary. Most of them are lawyers. The law, Mawny, me fine bucko! Look to THE LAW! Do you think the policeman in the big bad city is there to protect the ordinary citizen from the depredations of the ruthless and the powerful? Maybe, maybe not. What the policeman is usually concemed with is what's in it for him, and if he decides to interfere in a dispute between two ordinary citizens, he is a green copper indeed. But if he hears of a burglary on Nob Hill why, he's Johnny-on-the-Spot. Furthermore, do you think that a politician actually represents the poor weak culls who elect him? A far cry from it! He represents the men who hold the whip hand-the plutocrats and other robber barons of great shipping and cartage and industry. And the only thing our executive officers execute are the people who happen to get in their way. I know you'll say that I'm a cynic-but I have every reason to be. I keep my ears open and my mouth shut, and on occasion-I'm not saying very often-Il hear a lot of things that ordinary folks just aren't privy to. I say that any well- spoken chappie who dresses trig and doesn't eat his peas with a knife has at least a fighting chance of making his way to the top of the greasy pole in the Capital. All you got to remember is that you must always smile and never, ever argue with your betters. Do at least that much, and your battle is half won. If you fawn on them, and fill their ears with pleasant fables, so much the better. Everybody loves a happy ending, so be sure to have the grease to hand, and to lay it on thick. It's almost impossible to pour too much flattery on a high muckety-muck. They love it like a schoolboy loves his pie. Tell the truth and shame the devil? That's the motto of half-assed chumps. Aesop had it right. "Any excuse will serve a tyrant." "How did they ever get to where they are by being susceptible to such craven admiration, such blatant flattery? Well you may ask! It is a mystery for the ages! But my urgent need is to always deal with the world as it is, and not as I would like it to be. And any man who, deep down, doesn't feel the same is either a damn fool or a saint, and in my book there ain't hardly even a lick of difference between 'em. Like Reply (1h) I literally have no clue to WTF is going on in this one! Dog is reincarnated lover & ramble.

[long-way-down-rp-archive]

Dawn Hollow Lake

Davidson County

When those sticky southern summers come along, everybody knows there’s nothin’ quite like cooling off over at Dawn Hollow. Barely fifteen minutes out of town, this sizeable lake is in fact a reservoir, dammed by the local Corps of Engineers in 1967. Now, that’s more of a story than you might think. First off, they had to demolish Old Sampson - the near-ghost town sitting smack dab in the new lake’s basin. Then they had to buy off local farmers, folks who’d lose fields to the rise. That all went along more or less fine. By 1972, the dam was up, the lake was gleaming, and the city’d come up with a name: Dawn Hollow. That’d bring the developers in, alright. Sure enough, condos started rising, jogging paths got laid. That pretty lakefront looked to be everything Town Hall had hoped for.

Until things just started to go wrong. Bloody accidents around the construction sites. Rats. Weird, shit weather. Things took a real turn when the new rec centre’s foundations got flooded; as the water pumped out, the foremen found bones, washed in and strewn all over. Cow, pig, dog, cat, possum. Human. Might’ve been from graves around those Old Sampson homesteads, sure. But the NPD tracked the reservoir’s flow, and the investigation turned east, to a swooping inlet. There they literally stumbled into more remains, churned out of the flooded fields of a nearby farm - Eunice and Randall McCraw’s place. That crusty old couple, they’d refused to budge when the Corps came around to buy them out. So what, if the water took a few acres? They were getting too old for all the work, anyway. Seemed their attachment to the property was a real twisted sort of sentimental. Altogether, pieces of thirty-two adults, four children and a mess of animals were recovered. None of ‘em got any justice. And the McCraws? They’d vanished entirely. Long dead by now, of course. Must be. 

Anyways, most people don’t pay all that nasty history much mind these days. So wear your sunscreen, mind the lifeguards, and have a fine ol’ time down at Nashville’s waterfront playground. Just leave that one stretch of shore alone. There’s watermilfoil growing over there, anyhow. Or something. 

Dawn Hollow really is a damn lovely place, all things considered. That 14,200 acres of water pools off Stones River, clear, beautiful, and not too cold; a few areas are buoyed off and overseen by volunteer lifeguards. Confident swimmers are free to hit the open water. There’s dozens of charming coves, all with surprisingly sandy beaches and plenty of trees for shade; much of the righthand shore is forest. The left side of things, closer to town, is more built up. There’s apartments, ranging from arm to arm and a leg, and a couple snootied up mansions. Little shops, restaurants, and a water park are down on the southwest point, where the tourists get dropped off. From there, trails lead off in lakeside loops - most are leash free, so Fido’s welcome to frolic. If you’d like to stick around, there’s campsites northeast and south of the lake, and marinas with houseboats for rent. 

The largest of Dawn Hollow’s many islands were once a pair of hills at the edge of Old Sampson, popular for watching town hangings. So they say. Visitors still find the odd artifact now and then. Mostly, they leave some - those bottle trees might not be picturesque, but they’re a fixture nonetheless. Ezell Island is close to fourteen acres, while Deweese Island is more like eight. Plenty of room for bonfires, cozy, not altogether legal campouts, and any other sort of trouble you might get up to. While it’s possible to swim out there, most paddle their way around. There’s canoe, kayak, and inner tube rentals available at a few spots around shore.

The McCraw house is still there, alright - it’s been on sale for decades, but nobody’s bit. Reams of legends circle round the place. Story goes, the sound of clinking, ice-filled glasses creeps up on anybody who gets too close to that old porch swing, creaking around without a breath of wind. Some swear they’ve caught a waft of bourbon up there, rasping voices, too. For your tea, dear? Sweet as peaches, you are. Wander what’s left of the fields if you like; there’s only rusty gates and mossy stone walls to stop you. But word is there’s something else out wanderin’ too. Digging, somewheres, dragging who knows what through the soggy earth behind it. Maybe that little old couple ain’t so far gone, after all. As for their victims, they were interred at Kildress Cemetery. Still, locals give that inlet a wide berth. Bad enough that the currents run strange; drowned a couple folks, back in the ‘80s. But it’s damn easy to mistake a curl of weed for a slimy, cold hand, snatching at your ankle...