#probably in the top 10 most greedy companies

[brandinotbroke]

i did it, today i get to yeet my iphone out the window

[the-firebird69]

So we didn't piggy back their website this is a pain whoever own pictures memorabilia our own memorabilia and it works very well. We have our brand new website and the bikes are presented well we'll do a good job I see how it's presented in the past it was very nice some of the pictures were crappy but it's already been it's greedy it's down to earth that's where the rubber meets the road is real and a lot of these bike companies don't do it and these are so cheap you have to do that some of it you have to damn well do it that's what he said he said if you make it look too much money and say they're going to raise prices I won't be able to Ford parts and we'll lose customers so I made it pretty almost as good as the original it's just weird weird things in the pictures you have to have some weird things in the pictures. So send me a vision of Mack in the post office truck actually out of it in the background but far back there I said we don't need that stuff that he knows I know what he needs there's some guys turning and there's a heads turning and stuff and some weird car drive by that's it you just use the pic that's what they do they're looking right at the bike just like the race does and they're not looking at the other stuff and I said this this is a great sales effect it works on a lot of people it's realistic it's realism and it's not scary it's just how it is it made a lot of people smile because it's not in love with the bike they're in love with the atmosphere they haven't serious different these days but we had a banner day today we woke up and they were like 300 trillion orders between the two companies we think it's because of her company starting up and it is and BG is promoting it and he promoted it all over the place and he has a license and stuff no and he's getting money for it and he's getting money from ladies and they're paying him to do it and it's not big money he is getting around money and he's doing it because he has to you can't seem to get around and he sees what he's doing. Cuz I'm riding in the back of a sperm whale and VG to go out and struggle with it and he saw what he was saying and he showed up with the pagsta and he's going to anyways for a while. It'd be perfect for him he says when you change it on him she is smiling saying I know

Seriously sales it through the roof it is an unbelievable thing it's unbelievable okay that this many sales could be possible it's ridiculous. And on the website they don't show a shop or store no they do it's really small as this teeny office. So he says he wants to replicate it and we can do that and just make a little different so it's not obnoxious were are based in Canada. Things are going on smoothly and these bikes are going out the door at this rate and and I'd say that half of them sold in the states and the city at capacity is about 10 trillion Banks and that's all the way out to the outskirts and some of the suburbs and they have tons of bunkers but they use them inside the bunker what's the difference you can't see him but really topside is about a trillion . You see what we're saying there's a problem with the numbers so each area has like 8 trillion roughly and that's like New York State but that's really busy but an average of five to six trillion and it's 5,000 areas so 25,000 trillion top. So we had sales but they're like 20 billion and 40 billion and her company was first and I tell you that's a lot that is a lot and we're talking about billions of people and really that is a lot and the orders are going up and we'll probably have $300 billion by the end of the day and it's for all over the world but most of us States has thousands of trillions and probably three or four but still that's a good percentage and Yamaha sold that many in one year of one model. This is one day. So which island broke the old ones out and said they're all crap and none of them worked and he scrapped them and he was mad and he's going after the idiots.

You have enough going on but this is really good news I was trying to see why the pack still really lit it up that's paxter anyways the spelling it really lit it up and we're talking about a lot of people saw it and really got excited and said those bikes are like that and those bikes are like the Honda now rebel in the real cheap we can afford a lot of them and they have to buy them for the people you had a lot of people. We have a lot of them made we had like 10 billion paxter and we had about 20 billion hard knock but the Hard knock kicker 5150s were sitting around and she helped out and she knew it would work it's like get out of the house and get something to do fine I got my bike and I'm going so there's a ton of orders being placed and they're making fun of each other all around town and the guy on the trike and the girl on the hot rod chopper oh she bought a pagster and he bought a Hard knock kicker 5150 and he said they're easier to ride they bought a ton of them for their people and they bring them to the island now I know about it and we know if they're up to and they say they're leaving and they want to make nuclear bombs out of the motors they use them for centrifuge to purify uranium and we use it to get us there and it works very well and that's what we're up to

Thor Freya

Zues Hera

Olympus

[ziracona]

Any/all! Fic, books and media are all welcome, I'm greedy.

Hmmm. Let me think! I’m sure I’ll miss a lot of good ones, but some of the first to come to mind: 💪

Film: obviously LoTR. I think that was one of the category namers. Gladiator (historical fiction). V for Vendetta (speculative fiction). Mad Max Fury Road (apocalyptic sci-fi). Terminator, but mostly the original and Terminator Salvation, not every film in the series (sci-fi). Meet John Doe (contemporary fiction at the time, but to us, historical fiction). The Prince of Egypt (Abrahamic story). The Wind Rises (historical, tragic drama). Spider-Man 2 (superhero). The Sound of Music if you push it. Like the hopepunk is contained in almost exclusively Act 3 but shit is it a hell of an act (historical, musical).

Tv: 1: Unlimited Blade Works (modern fantasy/sci-if)—one of my favorite TV shows of all time, painful and beautiful, very hopepunk. Do not watch the movie watch the 2014 anime, and watch the OG Japanese audio with subs. The dub was hell. 2: Angel Beats! (Supernatural dram/tragedy/comedy) This is a very hard show—like lots of painfully sad moments, but very sweet and worth it. End is bittersweet, but good. I’ve only seen the English dub, but the dub is very quality. 3: Infinity Train [seasons 2 and 3] (sci-fi, cosmic horror). 4: Tomorrow (supernatural, K Drama) — really good, watching it right now, Doctor Who (all of Doctor 9 and 10 at least much of his run),

Books: Any Terry Pratchett, but Night Watch probably top ranking, or maybe Small Gods (fantasy). LoTR again. The Shining Company (historical fiction) (a lot of her books are). Good Omens (supernatural fiction). Revolution (historical fantasy). 

Games: Days Gone (zombie apocalypse, work of art), Persona 5 Royal (speculative fiction, also a work of art), Kingdom Hearts (at least some of them, fantasy), arguably S4 of TWDG (zombie apocalypse), Determinately either Wolf Among Us (fantasy) or DBH (sci-fi) by dent of being decision based branching games.

Podcast: Nightavle through Stexcorp arc at least. TAZ Balance (fantasy, d&d podcast). Hello from the Hallowoods (ongoing, supernatural horror).

Comic: Bronze Age X-Men especially, I’m a huge fan of. If you’re interested in some of the really good ideas and meta that came with X-Men but don’t do comics, the best adaptation I’ve seen yet is X-Men Evolution, and I think that’s available to stream (superhero, sci-fi, social justice). Bone (fantasy).

Music: The Trans Siberian Orchestra album Beethoven's Last Night (album, rock opera, historical fiction), Les Miserables (musical, historical fiction). 

It also depends on how broadly you define the genre. I think of anything fitting into “Antithesis of GrimDark. Stories where the world is cruel and unfair and brutal any maybe on a grand scale, unchangeable, but combatting that and living and loving is deeply precious and meaningful despite, or in some cases even more so, because of that.” Some people might categorize The Wind Rises, for example, as Historical, Drama, Tragedy, but not as Hope Punk. I would call it that though. I hope that the list is still a good one for you. If you want only the most true-blue Hope Punk, I could give you a shorter list too.

Sorry this took so long. I wanted a good list, and it was harder than I thought. I’m sure I still missed many I deeply love.

[putschki1969]

Hi Puts, I have a question, but maybe it's too personal. As a fan, how much money do you spend? I think the three FC alone cost about $130 a year. Each shipment to Mexico costs between $20 and $50, including fees. Buying CDs, DVDs, streaming tickets, shop items, magazines (Idk if Hikaru and Keiko send something like Botanical Tsushin) I think is quite a bit of money. I graduated this year and recently started working, so I'm wondering how much money I need to pay for everything I want.

Hello there!

Don't worry, I have no filter so there is literally nothing too personal you could ever ask me. Also, I think it's important to be transparent about stuff like that.

Before I get to the juicy details I want to preface this post by saying that I am in a very privileged position so using my fangirl expenses as a general reference is probably not the best idea. There is free education and public health care in my country so I do not have any debts from either of those. On top of that I do have a job with a decent salary and my monthly fixed costs are comparatively low since I share the rent and stuff with my mum (yup, I am 30+ and choose to live with my mum, sue me). My company pays for public transportation, internet and a big portion of my meals. Last but not least, I have no car, no partner, no kids, no pets, no other social commitments or anything else that would burden me financially aside from my obsession with Kalafina so I am free to spend a considerable amount of my income on my "hobby" without having to worry too much about running into debt or not having enough savings.

Having said that, I will openly admit that I spend a SHIT-TON of money for my girls, much more than I am honestly comfortable with. Yes, I can more or less afford it but it still brings me a lot of pain and tears every single day.

Now let's get into the details 〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→ [Like you I will be using USD for easy understanding]

I honestly cannot tell you a definitive number since my expenses always change depending on how many events and releases are scheduled for a particular time period. I guess I can provide a rough overview of what I am currently spending on Kalafina since there are quite a few things happening right now (nothing compared to last December though).

The four FCs I am part of with their combined costs of roughly $150 are what I consider to be “negligible costs” and they are really my least concern in the grand scheme of things.

The streaming tickets are very cheap in my opinion and I would gladly pay even more for them if it meant I wouldn't have to spend a fortune on regular trips to Japan. But yeah, it's another $150 to $200 a year for various streaming events.

Releases and merch are pricey in and of themselves (incl. around $5-$10 of domestic shipping) but it's made even worse when you are crazy like me and buy multiple copies of something just to get special benefits. Recently I have ordered Hikaru's merch (~$100), Keiko's merch (~$50), Wakana's merch (~$120) and three *coughs* copies of Wakana's Blu-ray (~$220). I also made sure to purchase Hikaru's albums on iTunes (~$20) even though I already own the CDs.

International shipping/import fees is where the costs pile up and I usually end up paying anywhere from $20 up to $150 for packages. Austria has literally the WORST import regulations T_T

I also indulge in the occasional Kalafina fashion item so that gets pretty expensive too. But that’s just me so there is really no need to take these costs into consideration.

So yeah, you can expect to spend a LOT of money depending on how greedy you are. :P Being an overseas Kalafina-fan sucks! However, I have two tips for you:

Prioritising is key! Find out what’s most important to you and then make peace with the fact that you will never be able to buy everything because that’s just not reasonable (unless you are filthy rich :P). I obviously focus on digital and physical music releases because that’s how you support their solo careers. I know it’s tempting to pirate this stuff but I urge all fans to make those purchases. The same applies to live stream tickets. If you have the means and the event is foreigner-friendly, please go for it! Aside from that, you will just have to choose your orders wisely. Ask yourself the questions: What kind of benefits do I prefer? What merch am I most likely to use? Any merch I am particularly fond of? Make sure you don’t end up overspending. While I keep encouraging fans to spend their money, you should always do it within reason. 

Cluster your orders! If you are using a proxy service like Tenso or Buyee, it’s best to have items arrive around the same time so you can consolidate your packages (within the 30-day period). After all, there is nothing more frustrating than paying $20 on shipping for a tiny fan club magazine that’s basically for free. So before you make a purchase, check the scheduled shipping time and try to make your orders align with each other. And also try to pay attention to the shipping dates of FC-related items, that’s not always easy since the schedules aren’t exactly regular but you can at least get a feel for them. If a FC item happens to arrive at the warehouse, you could always use that opportunity to order some in-stock goods or releases you have had your eye on. They should arrive quickly so you can ship them together with the FC-item. Please note that this will of course increase shipping costs/import fees since your packages will get bigger/heavier but I think at the end of the day, you are still saving money.

I know it’s often frustrating and intimidating to navigate through the world of Kalafina but I hope my posts can at least somehow help to alleviate the the stress that comes with being an overseas fan.

[tartagliaxx]

i was wondering why everyone in my yt timeline was angry abt the anniversary rewards, so i decided to check it out. not a good choice. words cannot express how disappointed i am :))

this truly is the most gacha gacha game to have ever existed. even their anniversary rewards are gacha! (and it's not even 50/50, it's 10/90).

we have like 8 days left before it officially becomes 1 year, i rlly hope that they do smth to amend this bc i can tell that quite a bit of ppl who have spent money are either gonna turn f2p or are just gonna drop the game altogether.

it legitimately sucks bc genshin is truly an amazing game, but the company is just... not it. i dunno, for the amount of money i've thrown into this game (~$200), it just sucks that we get basically nothing back. i could've used that money to buy some genuinely better games on steam or smth.

i know that it's technically called a 'community event' but like, even for a community event it is pretty bad. if this truly is the anniversary event, i'll probably just never spend a single dime on genshin again. the fanbase is already pretty upset with their recent actions, but instead of placating them with decent rewards, they did the opposite.

i just can't fathom their actions, bc this just shows how greedy of a company they are (surprise, surprise) but that they just don't care abt their fanbase, especially the ogs that have been there since the very start.

— r. anon

ngl i am totally underinformed abt this topic. like for me, i’m dealing w so much alr i just chose to stay away from anymore yt and twt drama. tbh, i’d be lying if i said i expected anything from mhy. like sure maybe i was optimistic that they’d give more than the ten fates you get in the daily log-in but i realistically knew that other rewards would probably be contest locked and i didnt have any plans of joining any so in my head, there would be no more additional things to be given away.

i dont think i know enough abt gacha games to comment on this matter but i can understand the disappointment of the people. the top rewards that they plan to give based on the 4 minute video i watched to answer this ask properly is not even enough for one pull and im??? there’s smth obv wrong here? ngl the first place prize sound more like the consolation prizes.

alas, games are ultimately a business and ig they feel like they’re losing money if they give any more back (which might not be true in the first place? like personally, more rewards = more incentive to acc play and spend more bc it feels like the return is good value). i dont really spend any for games and i refuse to buy any more bc im saving up for actual irl things but i do admit at spending 9 dollars in the game. its not a lot and idk if its worth it but hey, at least i got childe. that’s enough for me ig😭😭😭

on a more serious note, i agree that this would’ve been the perfect time to make it up to the fanbase after the series of controversies they got involved in but they fucked up even more. i acc dk anymore im just standing here watching everything burn. i wouldnt say its entertaining but it does take my mind off the migraine im experiencing for the past few weeks so 🧍‍♀️

anw, genshin in a great game overall. i just hope that mhy wont waste that opportunity and do better w management and player retention.

[horrorslashergirl]

Chromeskull falling for the reader whose a Burlesque Dancer who wears a revealing Bride of Frankenstein costume that shows off childhood scars that have tattoos to look like stitches over them.

Chromeskull x Reader- Freakish Proposition

Authors Note: Writing again for my 6′7 tall husband....and also trying to get back into the writing game more.

Warning: None

Words: 2.1k

Jesse Cromeans was an extrovert by any means and the nature of his business got him into all type of places, especially exclusive clubs varying from classy snobby ones to stripper nightclubs to the more unusual ones, so no wonder that Halloween was to be spent into a night of fine alcohol and possibly some piggy hunting into these nightclubs.

Halloween meant that he could be more of Chromeskull and less Jesse Cromeans, wearing the chromed skull mask was giving him a boost of power and confidence, not like he really needed it, but for Jesse there was never enough, call him a greedy bastard, but that's how you get successful and respected into the world of the rich and nasty.

Humans were like animals in Jesse's opinion, even him, but here depends on what animal you are according to the food chain, and Jesse was definitely an apex predator and what does a predator do? Stalk piggies and tear them apart, limb by limb.

Nightclubs were the perfect environment for piggies, especially the exclusive ones because all piggies had to do to get a free ticket inside was flash some skin, push their chest out, and bat their eyelashes, looking for a fat walking wallet full of money to support their needs. They didn't care who it was as long as they were buying the piggy the last Gucci purse and gifted them a Porsche for their birthday.

It was the cruel reality of what relationships were like nowadays; there was no such thing as love, it was all business under the facade of sweet-talking and arms holding. Jesse didn't mind cruelty, it was one of his top characteristics, one that gained him his status in society; no wonder men wanted to be in his Oxford shoes and women to choke on his cock in an attempt to get a fancy dinner and a bottle of Moet.

He loved the dim-lit nightclubs, he was accustomed to the eerie vibe it gave, after all, the most interesting part of his life happened at night, and the fact that everyone's attention was pulled on the highlighted stage gave him the opportunity to observe more; more piggies to kill and from the audience sitting at the tables, close to the old geezers, he had plenty to choose from.

The show was about to start in 15 minutes, so he took his time, a waitress coming to deliver a bottle of Lagavulin, a whiskey glass, and a small bucket of ice. She poured Jesse the expensive liquor into the crystal glass, adding two cubs of ice, and he was more than amused when she tried to flash him a view of her cleavage; desperate piggy.

He could see from behind the mask how the other piggies observed; they were predators too in a way, but cheaper ones, their eyes always scanning what the men ordered because that showed how much money they had. 

You don't just simply go to a man who orders one glass of cheap vodka over one who had a whole bottle of a 16-year-old fine whiskey.

Tattooed hands pulled the chromed mask off, and from the corner of his eyes, he could read the disgust on the piggies across the room as they took in his scarred face. He got used to such reactions, but flash a stack of money in their faces and the botoxed bimbos will be on their knees, worshipping his cock.

Jesse wondered how their lips would look cut off and showed up their loose cunts, while their eyes would be filled with tears, blood pouring out of each cut on their caked up skin, each cut deeper than the last.

He was pulled out of his sadistic daydream by a voice announcing that the show will start in 10 seconds and a chorus of applause followed as the red curtain drapes moved to each side, the slow jazz music started as did the girls on the stage started their dancing.

One girl, in particular, pulled on Jesse's attention, unlike the other females, her attire and make-up were different, declaring that she was the lead one, and his assumptions were approved as she started to sing, or better said, you started to sing, the slow beat of the music picking up speed as did the sensual moves.

Unlike the other dancers who wore white, your attire was as black as night, with lace details, a tight corset that made the bald man feel jealous. Most would say that your outfit was skimpy, but that's how the burlesque dancers were supposed to be dressed; sexy, sensual, and very appealing to the eye, and God how much you caught Mr. Cromeans brown eye.

Not only were you a vixen in black lace, but also very adorable, your smile and sparkling eyes showing that you were genuine having the time of your life. Jesse is a very observant man and couldn't ignore the tattoo sleeves down your arms; red and black roses are adorned by delicate barbed wire representing stitches.

If Jesse knew something very well, it was the ink on the skin and could identify scars under the intricate designs, and sure as hell, you were hiding quite a lot for such a delicate, little thing; well, everything was little compared to his intimidating height. It was very unusual to see scars nowadays on women; maybe you had a toxic and abusive relationship, maybe a destructive childhood? 

He was getting curious and not even the depraved looks from the piggies around him got his attention, and that said something because he wasn't on to pass up the opportunity to slaughter some beef. He was more interested in the little ghoul on the stage; you finished your performance and bowed with a grin, waving around, the audience clapping and some wolf-whistling, the scarlet curtain falling down and hiding the stage.

Taking one sip of his whiskey, he saw you march up to the bar in a happy skip like you didn't have a care in the whole world. He snapped his fingers and motioned for the waitress to come to him which she happily did.

"What can I do for you, Sir?" she asked, batting her eyelashes, not at all impressing Jesse.

'Her. Tell her to come over here.' he typed on the phone then showed the waitress, who dropped her sugar-sweet attitude and rolled her eyes.

Note: Hang the waitress by her guts later.

You were ready to get a drink for yourself too after the performance, but someone tapped you on the shoulder. Turning around you saw it was Tina, who had a scowl on her face.

"That bald guy over there wants to talk with you." she told you, then just like that left. You furrowed your eyebrows and finally, your gaze landed on the said man, who motioned for you with a curled finger to come to him.

Curiosity took over you and you moved over to him.

"Yes? May I help you?" you asked and you noticed that he was typing on the phone, then an electronic voice startled you.

'Sit down. I could use some company.'

Well, that certainly took you by surprise; one that he wanted your company when he could get any waitress or glamorous trophy girl from this nightclub, and two...He was mute....That or either he was some weirdo who hated to talk.

You did as he wanted, taking a seat across from him, looking down at your hands, not knowing exactly what to discuss with him, not to mention he didn't even tell you his name, so you decided to start with that, introducing yourself.

'Jesse Cromeans, a pleasure to meet you, little ghoul.' you really needed to get used to that spooky electronic voice from his phone.

"Actually, I was supposed to be Frankensteins Bride, but it turned out to be more of a ghoul." you said with a nervous chuckle, which he returned with a smirk, one that seemed to suit him, despite the scars he had, he was...unique; not necessarily handsome or drop-dead beautiful, but he had that specific charisma that drew people in like an aphrodisiac.

'And where is your Frankenstein?' You had to stifle a laugh at his humorous question, so might as feel continue to entertain him.

"Probably in a coffin." you answered, making Jesse's smirk devilish so like you said something very appealing and familiar.

"Seriously, no. No undead husband or boyfriend." you said, licking your dry lips. You really needed a drink and like Jesse could read body language he called upon the waitress again, and you ordered your favorite.

'White Russian? I pictured you more of a Bloody Mary.'

Again, you smiled and laughed.

"Not a fan of tomato juice. If I had to choose a red drink, maybe cherry or strawberry." you responded.

Although your answers seemed all casual and not even flirty, to Jesse they triggered the killer side, because when you're a very sleek serial killer like Chromeskull, you got a dark sense of humor.

'Performing again next weekend?'

"No. This was just a one-time thing, I'm not exactly a showgirl and if I'm gonna be honest the only reason I was so relaxed was because of the make-up that made me look like a monster girl." you answered, taking a sip of your drink.

'If not a showgirl, then what?'

Jesse was simply curious; if she wasn't a performer here then with what was she filling her time, what did she worked as?

"I am studying medicine, but it's not exactly the path I've wanted." you said with a sigh, your cheerful mood dropping.

'Interesting. The medicine you say? And why did you choose it if you don't like it?'

"No, no! I like...well, liked it, but let's say it's not cheap to stay for so many years in college and I don't wanna burden my parents with the taxes that are way out of their limit."

A good-hearted piggy? That was something new.

'How did you managed to get so far if you say the taxes are way over your budget?'

He was pretty much dissecting her, he wanted to know more; and it wouldn't really surprise him if she said that she did unorthodox things for money, most girls in college do.

"Well, when I finished high-school I went to military school and went for two years in Afganistan, but you know...not the perfect environment for a small girl like me so I came back to try something else. I chose medicine, I was really curious about it, and with the money from the military years, I managed to pay my taxes until now.

Military? That would explain the scars, you don't need to be a detective to put the pieces together.

'Now?'

"Now? I work three jobs; at a library, as a waitress for a kids' restaurant, and recently here, but I think I'm gonna pass....Skimpy clothes aren't my cup of tea." you said, pulling out a pack of cigarettes, putting one between red-painted lips, only to be snatched away by Jesse.

You looked at him with a dumbfounded look.

'Talk. Smoking later.'

You sighed, not in the mood to make a scene over a cigarette, plus he seemed like the type who will have his way no matter what.

"What else do you want to know?"

'Amuse me.'

You snorted at that.

"What do you want me to juggle with knives?" you asked in a sassy tone.

Oh, piggy....That would definitely be entertaining.

'I have a proposition for you. If it's really your dream to be a surgeon and dissect people, I can help you get through with taxes.'

"I'm not a prostitute, jerk." you quickly said, probably it was a bit rude, and in other circumstances, Jesse would have bend over the said person and decapitate said piggy, but he was more amused and gave you a silent laugh.

'As much as tempting that sounds, no. I can help you pay the taxes; I can offer you a decent job that won't involve parading for old geezers...but if you want to spice things up I won't deny it.'

Was he really hitting on you?

"I didn't picture you for a philantroph." you responded, earning an arrogant smirk from Jesse, who lightened up the cigarette that he snatched from you, blowing a cloud of smoke in your direction.

'I can be many things, sugar....What do you say?'

Debating a little and looking down at your remaining drink in hand, you chose.

"I'm listening."

'Sweet. I knew you would see things my way.'

[hjazysol]

Z: I have to ask is there a reason Okuyasu's your favourite character? And why The Hand is your favourite Stand?

In short entertaining dumbass character with depressing backstory is my weakness. Which is also why Narancia is my 2nd favourite character in Jojo.

Now long version.

This will have Part 4 Spoilers. Read at your own will

I just like the detail behind his character & the development. I believe the Niji & Mura in his last name translate to Rainbow Village which is an actual art exhibit, which was originally a place where I think a soldier escaping a civil war from China in 1948 to Taiwan went. It was a village. The homes there they were temporary homes for soldiers like him. That then became permanent til they became older buildings and more busted & broken. And when the land was being bought back by Government, they refused to leave and eventually began painting on the other houses there which was seen and then preserved after University Students happened upon it. Which is alot like how Okuyasu, his Dad & Brother Keicho were living in that old abandoned building which also prevented it from being destroyed.

Then there's Yasu which translates to Tai makining it in relation with Taiwan. And the theme for the Nijimura family is money as their father names them Kei(Cho) & (Oku)Yasu which translates to Trillion & 100 Million, due to his greedy nature. This continues with Okuyasu's counterpart in Part 8 Kyo Nijimura. Meaning 10 Quadrillion. And the Father's exclusive name for the movie. Being (Man)Saku meaning I think 10,000.

___

And The Hand. I like the simple design that conveys so much with so little, about Okuyasu's character. I think I said this once but the blinders at the side of his face show the straight forward way of thinking Okuyasu has. And it's musical Reference which refers to "The Band" which supports for why he is a supporting character to both Josuke & Koichi, as Pink Floyd said that The Band affected them "Deeply, deeply deeply" & since Josuke & Koichi have Pink Floyd named Stands the user with a Stand named after The Band is their to help them out.

_

Now Keicho, his older brother had to substitute his childhood at the Age of 8 to a role of caretaker as his father was now deformed and incapable of normal human responsibilities because of Jotaro. So he assumed this very army general-esque (With a Flat Top which usually represents military themed characters. Like Guile) personality to do what's best for his family even if it means killing someone which is how Bad Company represents him. He sees himself above everyone. From which is evident from his very first appearance where he literally is above everyone & his earrings which show 'He is at the top'

And the song Bad Company from the Album Bad Company by Bad Company talks about a guy who was born into a crappy lifestyle and becoming an outlaw. And constantly carries sins everywhere they go. Which relates to Keicho & all the things he's probably done just to keep his family sustained & to finally put his father to rest. And as the song says 'Bad Company. Til the day I die' which is what ends up happening.

Okuyasu himself would follow his orders without question almost as though he were Keicho's own soldier. But then he eventually begins to start breaking away from his orders and making decisions for himself, which again ties back to that Army Soldier regusing the follow the orders of the government in Taiwan. Which is something Keicho actually did want him to do. All the times he insulted him is just as an Army General would as a way to motivate their men.

And Okuyasu never really wanted to follow his orders as when Josuke explains his Crazy Diamond can't heal his own injuries he grows increasingly concerned. Most likely worried about the fact he very well could've killed him. You can see the fear & guilt in his eyes.

He knows the things that he is doing are bad but did for his fathers sake despite him being a huge dick. So then he accepted that his brothers fate was deserved even if he still wanted to kill Akira for killing him. As I said even though there was clear indifference between their characters they still loved each other. But due to their harsh upbringing conveying those messages would be difficult. Keicho even prioritises Okuyasu's safety before The Bow & Arrow even after saying he would kill him if he got in the way & that he can't be his brother.

Okuyasu then would end up taking the mantle as the "General" of their household. And as such. Okuyasu became more independent and honestly became the most matured character. He started prioritizing his Dad more than himself & behaved smarter (Lifestyle wise) than honestly alot of the cast in Part 4. Having to learn how to cook for himself & his Dad & like when he got his share of the lottery. He decided he would put it in a savings account instead of wasting it like Josuke would've. He even became more strategic as time went on and stopped being as straightforward as he was, he became the one warning other people about that.

And then eventually became capable of making his own decisions but in his own way.

One of his choices being to finally sever from his 'Generals' path through life and began truly making his own life decisions. And the very first true choice he made. Was saying No to Death and finally began using The Hand in a smart way.

A true chad.

That's why I like him. He's a well developed character who can be very down to earth about things. Okuyasu represents the struggle for when you have to grow up and become more independent extremely well in my opinion.

If it's longer than you expected. I'm very serious when it comes to Okuyasu.

[curious-minx]

Denis Leary is making an animated vignette series based on Dogs Playing Poker and 10 Other Pieces of Kitsch Art That Should Be Turned Into TV

KITSCH auction house tremors and stampedes.

Dennis Leary basically discovered sex, drugs and rock n’ roll with his 2015 two season FX series Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll. Leary’s always been one of those guys that can’t be beaten down  in spite of how dopey and cynical his edgy working class personal brand is. He’s got an entire deal set up with Fox, the flailing broadcasting company has placed all of their chips on a Denis with only one lousy  “N” in his name. I can’t even with this fake Irish Bostonian droid. Relish in the delicate thought process of Leary and leftover former Daily Show producer, Jim Margolis,  bringing up a Pinterest screen grab of the Dogs Playing Poker by Grand Master of Kitsch Cassius Marcellus Coolidge and money signs popping out of both of their heads. Here is a dramatic retelling of this thought process:

“Yo, get this Big D,” salivates the recently fired from Netflix Jim Margolis to Leary over a Zoom, “Fox got this Bento Box Animation Studio sitting around doing nothing but churning out animated interstitials for the Masked Singer, Paradise PD, The Prince, The Blues Brothers animated series, animated Harold And Kumar, Housebroken, The Great North, and ugh..um..Hoops..”

“I fuckin love Hoops, Jimmy! Why aren’t we pitching this on Netflix again?”

“Because Dogs Playing Poker is going to work so much better as pregame filler for live Sporting Events...on Fox.”

“Oh yeah. All of those rotten good for nothing grease monkey and lunch pail people will probably be giving each other Budweiser flavored Covid at the local saloon with these damn dog pictures hanging up. It’s like when old drunks would stay out late and watch the Flinstones at the bar, did you know that actual human male adults would sit in a town like Boston and waste away in a bar watching Flintsones. Can you believe that Johny?”

“My name is Jimmy, err Jim, but yeah Denis we’ll send you the scripts over. Any idea who we should cast?”

“Get me the hot blonde from Inspector Gadget 2, God dammit I miss Louie..are we sure we can’t get Louie back on air?”

“Afraid after Patton Oswalt dognapped his role from him in Secret Life of Pets, Louie CK has been banned from ever appearing as a talking dog again.”

“So bogus. Bobby Kelly will have to do.” Denis gets a text. “Dammit, Adam is getting all thirsty for this juicy  delicious bone. Gotta throw a  big bone to my dog Ferrera. Who else?”

“Ok. I’ll get one of those sad Daily Show losers. Um picking one at random, Roy Wood Jr. They’ll pretty much jump into anything, because John Oliver was in Love Guru they start thinking they can fail their way up.”

“I said no politics at the table! Paws off the table! This is going to be so fucking lit!”

////

Kitsch Art deserves so much more. George Lucas, retired American filmmaker, robber baron of childhoods and all around  mensch has been heavily invested in the kitsch art of Norman Rockwell. There are a bounty of stories to tell. Too many of them are far too white and basic, but there are rich narratives to be found in his out of date even for his own time romanticism of The Old Masters. Hopelessly out of date could have been a failing of Rockwell, but his politics grew progressive as his career went on and fought against the system. Cassius Marcellus Coolidge is the man that operated the first bank in Antwerp, New York  had the astronaut-like grace to wonder, “what if dogs played poker like people played poker?” A painting that dates back to 1894 used as means to sell cigars. What strikes me most about this painting is that they aren’t wearing clothes, but I bet when you try to imagine the painting you imagine these dogs fully decked out in some sort of work coat. There is a further anthropromized version of the ad called “His Station and Four Aces” that depicts a glimpse at a look at an entire canine furry society. His ideas of putting an animal in clothes remains to this day one of the most novel and surefire commercially friendly means of artistic expression. The original cynical man laughing all the way to the bank, his own bank that he founded to boot.

Seen above: An example of a Comic Foreground that also demonstrates the failings of having too few people in your party to properly partake in the comic foreground experience. 

“Cash” Cassius wasn’t the first man to imagine a domestic pet in people clothes, but he’s probably one of the few to do so with such commercial finesse. The man also at one point filed the patent on the “Comic Foregrounds,” which is the technical name of one of those carnival boards with holes to stick your head in. In post Covid times how many more heads will be salivating and rushing towards those holes to pop their heads in to create a lasting memory, if only for a second. So when I start learning more about this remarkable weirdo Cassius Coolidge, a man according to his official website dogsplayingpoker.com’s Biography: “Trying to chase mischievous boys from an abandoned house, he fell from a window and hurt his knee, leaving him injured for the rest of his life.”

Flash forward back to 2021 and Denis Leary and his career a man with a wikipedia with fun entries about all the accusations of plagiarism and hate speech against autism I start to worry about the legacy of more Kitsch art falling into the hands of other greedy and desperate TV executives. That being said if you are a greedy TV executive who happens to be a maniac that likes reading rando’s tumblr pages do I have a list for you!

TOP TEN PIECES OF KITSCH ART THAT SHOULD BE TURNED INTO SOME KIND OF SOMETHING

“We Are Having a Heavenly Time” Columbian Bike Monkey and Parakeet by, once again, Cassius Coolidge

Coolidge’s anthropomorphic foresight strikes again! This time he effortlessly establishes a captivating duo that could be easily voiced by an endless combination of celebrity voice actors. PAUL RUDD as “Monkey” and ISSA RAE as “Parakeet” present “We Are Having a Heavenly Time” present a travel show. You could basically use whatever leftover footage you have lying around from the many Conan O’Brien segments and plug Monkey and Parakeet and their trusty bicycle anywhere for an irreverent glimpse into the foreign World around us.

2. “Clown and The Girl” by Haddon Sundblom  

Now I know what you’re thinking, that title is miserable! I agree, but with a little  reverse engineering you get The Girl and Clown, which could be a whole new addition to the Girl on a Train, Girl with a Dragon Tattoo, Girl with a Dangly Earpiece, the Girl-Verse! The girl appears to be quite fearless of this clown, which is good because we need someone to be brave for when the clown takes off his mask.

Sundblom is also the original artist for the Coke a cola Santa Claus and how is it that we have gone this many rotations around the sun without a single Coke a cola Santa Claus special is the real reason why Christmas will always be the saddest time of year.

3. “Clean Your Fornasetti” based around the artistic Plate collection of Pierro Fornasetti 

Muk bangs, videos of people eating are a huge cyber traffic boom. People love watching people eat. Why not add the element of surprise by what kind of playful Fornasetti chanteuse is hiding underneath this plate full of gruel? Fornasetti is an artist with over 11,000 items created in his name and over 500 of them are based around a variety of expressions of a single woman. Clean Your Fornasetti is a deep and poetic rumination of the romance between the act of someone cleaning their plate and the reveal that the plate contained a visual feast all its own.

4. “Mickey’s Kinkade Playhouse” by the one and only Thomas Kinkade

The Kinkade Studios features over 63 “narrative panoramas” featuring Disney characters, but largely Mickey and Minnie, simply vibing. It’s time we stop pretending that small children like Mickey Mouse and market him for wistful older audiences that want to radiate in a nice long warm bath of color and sound. I am not sure I am even pitching an actual series but more of a Narrative Panoply. One thing that is missing from Disney Plus, and streaming services in general, is a severe lack of programming frills and flourishing. The iconic Adult Swim bumps are something completely lost to the dustbins of programming history left to remain in youtube compilations. Thomas Kinkade is a lot like Enya. Art critics treated him like a comedic punching bag for so long, but I doubt there’s an artist that grasps the kind of sterile enchantment people want after a long day of opioid benders. We’re all trapped inside doing puzzles why not do the bare minimum of slightly animating a pleasant scene of Mickey and Minnie roasting marshmallows or enjoying a breath of fresh Alpine air?

5. “Dust Lickers” by Odd Nerdrum

Quick! Get me Trash Humpers’ Harmony Korine on the Line Show him Shit Rock! The world of Odd Nerdrum is a harsh and primeval one that would make for an astonishing animated landscape. Odd Nerdrum himself feels like a worthy subject of some kind of documentary based around his imagery and insistence on making his art in the most arcane and old fashioned methods possible. Once again, maybe the visual world of Odd Nerdrum may not make for a full on narrative series, but once again would make for one hell of an animated segment.

6. “Homemade Pasta” by John Currin 

A cozy Queer slice of life cooking drama based around the two charming fellows of John Currin’s Homemade Pasta scene. A series of vignettes based around the completely unfabulous and domestic version of bliss that was denied many people as a result of the AIDS crisis. You can’t tell me you don’t see those two nice guys getting cozy and making pasta together and you aren’t dying to see how they go about rolling out their own focaccia bread.

7. “The Velvet Elvis” by the Collective Conscious 

David Lynch at one point in time was trying to crack into making his own Elvis biopic. I think it’s pretty safe to say that the age of a public wanting a David Lynch directed Elvis biopic has probably passed, but that does not stop Velvet art enthusiasts. TheVelvetStore.com is featuring a remarkable promo that could really bump up what a David Lynch Elvis movie could be like and the horror of having one’s soul trapped inside of a Velvet Elvis rendition painting seems like a pretty fertile place to begin a proper story about Elvis in America. 

8. “Big Eye Bunch” by Margaret Keane 

Yes, it was only a matter of time before Ms. Big Eyes herself, Queen of Kitsch, Margaret Keane would come up on a list like this. Tim Burton tried and sort of kind of captured what it so endearing about Keane’s work, but I think a fully animated dive into an orphanage full of sad Big Eye kids that time travel and meet other Big Eyed children version of historical figures is a Big Idea that could make a whole new generation keen on Keane.

9. “Banality” by Jeff Koons

An animated series based around the artistic sensibilities of Jeff Koons would be a tricky affair, but just the kind of gaudy whimsy that someone like Michel Gondrey could use to proper effect. A series based around someone trying to steal the fifteen million dollar Michael Jackson statue would also be appropriate.

10. “Groovenians reboot” by Kenny Scharf

Scharf is the only artist on this list that actually was a kitsch artist that caught the attention of early aughts adult swim. A tv show that only features the artistic sensibilities of Scharf but also a voice acting cast that consisted of Paul Reubens, Rupaul, Vincent Gallo, and Dennis Hopper. There’s also a theme song performed by the B-52s and musical direction by Devo’s Mark Mothersbaugh. One of the only known published reviews of the pilot describe the show as needing mind altering substances to enjoy and that it is essentially like “watching a cartoon reflected off of a funhouse mirror. This is basically a description of the modern tik tok addled twitchy type content that makes a killing on the Internet for millenial and zoomer types. Basically the whole aesthetic of a warped and broken looking cartoon is the exact sort of thing weirdos deep diving at youtube at four in the morning are looking for and seeing that this gets a failed pilot and Denis Leary’s Dog Poker vignettes get greenlit is exactly what’s wrong with the world.

[nymia-wynter]

Gedin Tia - Character Sheet

Age: Adult (Around 27)

Hair Colour: Dark

Eye Colour: Orange

Occupation: Professional Tinkerer and ‘Engineer’

Family: From the Q tribe in the Black Shroud, due to  his communal upbringing, he cannot be sure who his mother is and instead, when  thinking of his tribe, thinks of ‘mothers’ as all his siblings were raised as  a collective.

3 Traits: Polite, Sharp, Always caught up in his own thoughts

1.       What's your character's favourite book genre?

Adventure! Anything a bit fantasy with lots of adventure and he’s there.

2.       Your character finds a wounded person in the forest. What do they do?

Offer them aid, and most likely try to come up with some way to help, depends how bad the injury is.

3.       Your character goes to a tavern and orders a pie, what sort of pie is it?

Generic meat, steak and ale, steak and kidney, maybe a chicken and mushroom, nothing too fancy.

4.       Your character wakes up after a long night. Where do they wake up?

On top of an enormous pile of engineering drawings or with his head on his workbench beside something he fell asleep tinkering.

5.       When not out adventuring, what do they like to do for fun?

This would imply that he’s out of the workshop often enough to be ‘adventuring’, which he rarely is, he usually just persuades Nymia, Ash or Luen to go and fetch parts for him with promises of making it up to them later, knowing full well he’ll be too busy to make good on these.

6.       It’s freezing cold, your character puts on a warm clothes and hat before venturing outside. What do these garments look like?

Probably a thick leather jacket, heavy weave jeans and boots, possibly a scarf and leather gloves if it’s really cold.

7.       Does your character have a most treasured possession? If not, name 3 of your character's most materialistic desires

Not so much one, but he treasures all his tools, keeping them in immaculate condition and priding himself on having a tool for all occasions, whether that’s a niche-dimension spanner for fixing a strange Allagan part on the airship, a good sharp leather punch for making holes in a belt for one of Tara’s designs or his forge for letting Reiya do some work in the Moonrose (If she’s really nice).

8.       What are their most desired traits in a friend and/or romantic partner?

Cliché, but loyalty is always up there, and the ability to take a joke without being offended.

9.       What is your characters preferred mode of transport?

I want to say motorbike but he doesn’t have one in game sooooo…. Chocobo? Or on a grander scale, airship.

10.   How would your character deal with fame?

Probably with a fair amount of shyness, would most likely retreat into his workshop.

11.   Does your character have any family, and if so, what are they like?

He has his entire M-tribe branch, and while he rarely sees them, its always a happy reunion, he’s quite close with his tribe when he’s not with the Moonrose gang. He often feels slightly guilty for this due to knowing about the Keeper’s traditions with family and suspecting tales from the Ryhn’s past.

12.   What is your characters worst fear?

Not being good enough and something and disappointing people.

13.   What's your character's dream holiday? (Time of year/setting/activities/company)

Lounging out in the sun in Costa del Sol soaking up the sun in the heat of summer.

14.   What disciplines (fighting/magic/etc.) do they practice, and who was/were their mentor(s), if any

Gunbreaker and the odd dabble in Mechanist, anything using tools or guns, depends if he’s in the mood for getting hit or not…

15.   If your character was to suddenly transform into an animal what would they be?

Ironically for cat, most likely some form of large dog.

16.   How creative is your character, and how does that translate to their arts/creations?

He’s very creative, but much better at sculpting than drawing or painting, he likes to make aesthetic designs.

17.   Your character finds a mystical looking scroll on the ground. What do they do?

Carefully put it in a bag and take it to the Moonrose for the witches to deal with.

18.   How much does your character eat?

As much as he can get away with before Rhoen raps his fingers for being greedy.

19.   Name an IRL TV show your character would enjoy

Abandoned Engineering, seeing nature taking over old world inventions, that seems to resonate with his dreams of running through forests with Tara searching for bits of old tech in a strange world.

20.   How does your character respond to extreme emotions such as grief or anger?

With cold calculation and overthinking, most likely trying to sink himself into his work.

21.   What would be their favourite IRL movie?

Atlantis or Treasure Planet. Something with strange machines.

22.   How would your character respond to unwanted attention? (General and Romantic)

With politeness and a fake smile.

23.   If your character had a theme song, what would it be?

I honestly couldn’t say, some kind of alternative rock.

24.   Does your character have a pet? What is it? If not, why?

A little clockwork squirrel called Humphrey. Original.

25.   How organised is your character?

Depends on the state of his mind, when he’s happy, he’s very tidy, keeping everything meticulously organised, however, when he’s a bit vacant, he leaves far more things laying around and piles of glasses and plates may start to stack up on his desk.

26.   Your character is stranded on a deserted island with nothing but the clothes on their back (this means no weapons, tools, or means of communication). What do they do?

Kick back in his element, solving one problem after another.

27.   If your character was to appear IRL and give you some advice what do you think it would be?

Focus. Stop procrastinating and focus.

28.   Your character wakes up and all their clothes have been stolen! What's their course of action?

Find something to cover the important bits and creep down to find Roane and ask her if she has any old stock in the shop he can borrow.

29.   What is their greatest accomplishment, and respectively, their greatest regret?

Helping Ash to fix the airship at the Moonrose.

30.   Where does your character see themselves when they’re as old as sin and retired?

Still just tinkering away in his workshop, just with more money and more offcuts laying around and even more tools.

[myncisworld-2point0]

[NOTE: This article is from 2014.]

According to some people, Mark Harmon is best known to his fans as Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs on CBS’s hit drama series NCIS. Those people are wrong, of course, because he’s always going to be Freddy Shoop, a summer school teacher in over his head in 1987’s appropriately-titled Summer School. Harmon turns the ripe, young age of 63 today, and it’s clearer than ever that this man is in possession of a map that leads to the Fountain of Youth, because Harmon ages with grace, am I right, ladies? In fact, while it’s no wonder why this actor was named People’s Sexiest Man Alive in 1986, it is rather shocking that he never received that accolade again, specifically in 1987, when the most important work of his career was released.

The coke-fueled era of the 1980s in Hollywood was filled with more high school movies about slackers and smartasses than anyone actually needed, especially when it came to featuring students who looked like they were older than the teachers. Summer School was always perhaps the most underrated of the decade’s tributes to slackademics (trademark pending) because what it lacked in the typical star power of, say, a John Hughes film, it more than made up for in creating arguably the most creative collection of “teenage” dipshits than any film of the genre. At the same time, it showed that Harmon, who was probably best known at the time for his role as the HIV-positive Dr. Robert Caldwell on St. Elsewhere, had a strong sense of comedy, while also confirming (along with her debut on Cheers that same year) that Kirstie Alley was much, much more than just a really attractive Vulcan.

Summer School isn’t just some cult classic that people love to mention whenever someone randomly asks, “Hey, whatever happened to Dean Cameron?” It was actually well-received at the box office, earning $36 million in theaters on what I assume was a budget of a few rolls of nickels and someone’s baseball card collection. Critics, however, were a little more mixed on this mindless comedy, as Roger Ebert gave it one-half star out of four, which sounds a lot better than one star out of eight, so you know what? I’ll take it.

Maybe in the movie business we could coin the term vaporfilm, for movies that zip right through our brains without hitting any memory molecules.

“Summer School” is a movie like that, a comedy so listless, leisurely and unspirited that it was an act of the will for me to care about it, even while I was watching it. This movie has no particular reason for being, other than to supply employment for people whose job possibilities will not be enhanced by it. (Via RogerEbert.com)

Here’s a tip for all of you aspiring film critics out there, courtesy of King Ebert – if you’re watching a movie with a title as lazy as Summer School, and the opening of the film features a school’s teachers trying to haul ass after the bell on the last day of the semester so they don’t get suckered into teaching the titular course, get up and walk out. Leave the movie for those of us who love to watch stupid movies and go to the next theater to watch and analyze La Bamba. Perhaps that’s why the fan reviews of Summer School on Netflix seem to be so glowing, as I only found three that were two stars or less. In fact, here’s the worst of them all:

Nothing but trash. Nothing worth seeing. Degenerate teens in bad need of harsh discipline. It’s depressing to think that so many young people actually enjoy this trash. This movie is immediately available from NF while so many more interesting ones languish in the ‘saved’ section, or in ‘short wait’, ‘long wait’, or ‘very long wait’ status. Just one more nail in the coffin of American culture, or lack thereof.

Thank God Armond White weighed in. The majority of people, myself included, fondly remember Summer School for what it is – a fun, stupid movie that was meant to make us laugh, while perhaps also rubbing our noses in the awesomeness of 80s California if we didn’t live there. But I’ll take this analysis one step further by laying out these 10 very important lessons that I took away from Summer School after watching it this morning, in paying tribute to Harmon, a man who was Kevin Costner before Kevin Costner was Kevin Costner.

Always put sunglasses on your dog.

Fact: 100% of movie posters that have dogs wearing sunglasses on them are movies that I’m willing to at least watch. The movie could be called This Dog Dies from Space AIDS, and I’d still be curious to see why that dog is wearing sunglasses.

Always have an escape plan.

When everybody else is hauling ass from the faculty parking lot at the last second, there’s no reason that you shouldn’t already be packed for your trip to Hawaii. I don’t like to point fingers, but Mr. Shoop’s girlfriend is clearly at fault here. All she had to do was pack the car for him, and he could have jumped in and taken off for the airport. Instead, Kim kicked her man while he was down and not only snatched her ticket to Hawaii from the pocket of his rad flowered shirt, but she also told him to drive her to the airport. I don’t mean to offend anyone who is overprotective of fictional characters, but I hope that Kim was eventually fed to the volcano gods.

Also, let’s consider this a lesson within a lesson – would you walk away from your teaching job right now if someone handed you a winning lottery ticket for $50,000? I say no. Just pass all of the morons while you spend the class time reading up on investment opportunities.

Never be afraid to encourage the creativity of your students.

https://youtu.be/-5Pku48YPFo

The true sign of a teacher’s efforts in a classroom is how far the students are willing to go to show others their appreciation of his work. In Shoop’s case, once he resigned because his students were greedy little pricks, those same students objected to a new teacher taking over the class by staging a gruesome and horrifying murder scene, complete with two of the students wielding chainsaws, declaring themselves psychopaths and thus taking credit for the violence. Of course, I can’t stress this enough, no high school students should ever think about trying to recreate this scene today.

On a side note, and I hate to nitpick true artistic masterpieces, if you’re going to have a severed hand pull a dude’s tongue out of his mouth and slap him with it, it’s really important that he not blink. Damn it, people, we need accuracy.

Being a male teacher in California in 1987 was probably terrifying.

https://youtu.be/farC0cWkpvc

Between Summer School and Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise, 1987 was a huge year for Courtney Thorne-Smith. Hell, both movies came out in the same week in July, when she was just 19 years old and poised to become the next big things in terms of girls that all teen boys wanted to marry. Unfortunately, her movie career never really panned out, as the last live action role she had on the big screen was as Natalie in the Carrot Top hot fart Chairman of the Board. Her TV career was obviously a lot better, but that’s neither here nor there. Having her play a lovelorn surf goddess crushing on Shoop probably lured a lot of guys to the teaching profession, only to have them learn the hard way that prison sucks.

Additionally, there was the foreign exchange student Anna-Maria Mazarelli, who would grow up to win our hearts as Alotta Fagina. Was it standard procedure for foreign exchange students to be shoved into remedial English classes upon arrival? Sure.

It’s important to support fine arts programs.

https://youtu.be/u0kF24ceZMI

When I write about how hilarious it was how Hollywood tried to make us buy that some actors were teenagers when they were clearly at least a decade older, Ken Olandt is really Exhibit A. The guy who played Larry, the sleeping student by day and male stripper by night, was actually 29 when he was portraying a 17-year old, which is pretty hard to pass when very few teenage boys A) look like that and B) are hired to shake their dongs in strip clubs. Still, glaring age gaps and statutory and employment laws aside, it was nice to see that Shoop was so cool about Larry’s awesome after-school job. That is until he was busted by his mom and presumably spent the next decade in therapy.

It’s not lying if the company ripped you off in the first place.

The first time that I ever saw Summer School, I was convinced that the part about writing letters to companies to get free stuff would work every time. I spent a lot of time trying to write letters to the companies that made my favorite toys, so I could convince them that the action figures and especially the vehicles that I couldn’t afford had been broken. But then I realized that I might be called on my BS, and guys in suits might show up to my home demanding to see the broken toys, and then I’d be screwed and sent off to prison for lying. Ultimately, owning Krang’s fortress wasn’t worth a life spent in prison making license plates, which is how TV and movies taught me that license plates were made.

Jail in California looks very scary.

I still don’t know what the guy with the mustache is doing with his hand, but it’s really scary and I don’t want to ever have someone do that to me, so I’ve chosen to lead a life on the straight and narrow. Thank you, Summer School, for teaching us that jail is filled with scary perverts who want to do bad things to shirtless men on roller skates.

No matter the risk, steal your boss’s girlfriend.

https://youtu.be/B7ZTNm5o780

Vice Principal Gills was a pretty big bite in the ass, so we had to cheer for Shoop in pursuit of Robin Bishop, because Shoop was the coolest and his girlfriend had only recently taken off for Hawaii without him. Sure, Robin was kind of stuck up because she questioned the legitimacy of taking students to something as awesome as a petting zoo, which produced adorable moments like this:

And she also wore a denim shirt tucked into a different shade of denim skirt, because it was the 80s, but she had a good heart and she just wanted what was best for all students, even if it meant agreeing to a date with Shoop to get there. Also, Gills looked like a total goober-douche, and there’s no reason he should have been with Robin.

Education can be a compromise.

https://youtu.be/LzdoMQL_jR8

Is Alan Eakien one of the most underrated teen nerds of cinema? I say yes. That kid may have been dumber than rocks compared to his genius brothers, but he negotiated circles around Shoop. In exchange for a slightly-above-half-assed effort from less than half of the original class roster*, Shoop’s couch was set on fire, his goldfish murdered and car wrecked, bookending that whole going to jail for the two D-bags thing. Things could have been considerably worse, too, because Robin could have tried to get him banned from teaching for the rest of his life for allowing a female student to live with him.

But ultimately Shoop sacrificed so much for the sake of helping a few of his students learn some lessons about life, since they didn’t all pass their exams. Is he a good teacher for that or was he just an idiot being taken advantage of by other idiots? Especially idiots who looked like this:

Being an idiot isn’t all that bad, so long as you’re not a total idiot.

https://youtu.be/8fvhchY0UmY

Hey, in the end, some of those kids passed their exams, and the most important of them all was Pam, because that meant she could move on and not try to make it so Shoop returned to jail. This guy went from being just a run-of-the-mill bro’s bro gym teacher to making an impact in the lives of some kids who looked like they were grown adults. Sure, he couldn’t even talk a 17-year old out of stripping, and he allowed some of his students to treat the foreign exchange student like a sex model, but Freddy Shoop probably learned more than anyone.

Also, he totally stole the douchebag Vice Principal’s girlfriend, and Wonder Mutt found Bobby again in the end, so this really was a movie with a beautiful and happy ending.

[amnachil]

The College Society Chapter 3 Part 9

Another part ! Quite funny to write tbh :)

Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey Friday February 22 – Saturday February 23

The night was going perfectly until the baboon call. The Dean's grandson managed to hit on a girl band, and they were all in his bed right now. He had such a good time when they had sung his name. Because they were from the chorale of the university, it was joyous, in every sense of the word. They had been taking great care of his body and especially his dick, but then, Liam had called. And that was why he, Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey the best hunter, ended up over the balcony, dressed only in briefs despite the cold. And we saw eachother like two hours ago... Fuck these conditions and my weak will to respect them.

"What do you want baboon ?" he asked, trying to sounds annoyed. "It's late and I'm busy you know ?"

"Wanted to hear your voice." whispered his boyfriend. "Today, Colton and I managed to get Nick into water, and wow it was so hard... Imma go sleep, but I missed you."

This is bullshit. The blond lad thought that quickly but in truth ? In truth he was more than delighted with this crappy romantic stuff.

"What's so special abou' my voice ?"

Liam chuckled.

"It's cute." he explained. "It make me smile, and I want to wrap you in my arms."

Holy cow. Stop it baboon. Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey started to blush and to have a boner in the same time. He could picture himself hugged in his boyfriend's arms, warm and comfy. He almost felt his head against his strong chest, his lower back pushing into his soft middle...

"And you called only for that ?" he mumbled, in a vain attempt to get back his self-control.

"Yeah. Is it a problem ?"

"No. I mean, I'm not sure to understand why my voice's cute, but whatever... As long as it please you..."

He was falling in this stupid romance, day after day. And the more he tried to convince himself it was fake, only a way to caught the prey, the more he doubted to be able to go back. To be his former self afterwards.

"Thank you Dami, for this and for everything." whispered suddenly his boyfriend. "I have something to give you tomorow, after the game."

"Yeah ? What is it ?"

"A surprise."

Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey felt way too happy. He even thought he was sick so much he was eager to see Liam again. Damnit. He definitely corrupted me after all.

The next morning came quite fast. He didn't sleep much. Someone had to take care of this boner and the girls were there. But today, he had something important to do. The football game was tonight. And he promised to help Nate. Thus, he headed towards the stadium around 10 am, and went straight into the lockeroom. The football team was there, most of them getting ready for a last training. Since it was their round of sixteen for the national, it was a pretty important game. I banged most of them... He glimpsed a lot of guys lookin' at him with lust, but he ignored them. He just went in the coach office. Well, to be honest, it wasn't the coach office anymore, but Archie's one. The sophomore had made a long way since his arrival. He was a nobody. Now, he's my precious heir. After all, the quaterback was the most famous alpha hunter in the campus. And his pack ? Well, the whole football team and most of the cheerleader. All what we call omega hunter under his will. According to the list Deborah gave him last week, Archie had caught at least seven more member since january. Himself was totally gay and slept only with his teammates from time to time, but several omega charmed girls for him. Anyway, when Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey entered in the room, the quarterback was on the phone, surrounded by Oliver and another teammate who was rubbing soflty his belly.

"What do you mean you don't have enough ?" was asking Archie. "You're a fuckin' delivery company, and you don't have enough beer to provide for a student party ? Awesome."

He hung up on his intelocutor, pissed.

"We'll find something." assured the captain Oliver with his sweet voice. "Don't be mad about this."

"I'm not mad !" mumbled his quaterback. "I've a stomachache and it hurt. I did too much carboloading yersterday..."

Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey hawked, a bit tilted to be ignored. Just, he liked Archie, for several reasons, and he respected him way more than the other hunters. For proof, they never had sex together. But it wasn't a reason to ignore him.

"Oh man, sorry I didn't see you." exclaimed the sophomore. "You, stop rubbing my painful tummy and go out. My mentor's here."

The footballer left them. It's better that way. I don't want everybody to know I'm asking help.

"Oliver should leave too." he said. "It's a private matter."

The blond lad had already slept with the captain several times. He was a kind guy, despite his impressive physique. And I like how he moaned my name. Once alone with Archie, he smiled.

"Dude, how are you since you won the bet ?"

"I used the money to buy thongs." his heir revealed. "I like these. And it's you who won, I just gambled right. But you're not here for an idle conversation Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey, are you ?"

His belly made a discontent gurgle, and he discreetly put an hand on it. Archie wasn't the kind of man to put clothes, especially when he was alone or with his pack. Right now, he had sweatpants but no top, and the Dean's grandson could see how bloated he was. And he ate yesterday ? I can only imagine how full he was. Greedy as my boyfriend.

"Let me guess." suggested the quaterback. "You want me to look after your prey Liam while he plays the mascot for Amber ? She wants him, I can tell."

This fuckin' bitch. When the baboon had texted him the news, Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey had been pissed. Really pissed. This whore was hunting his boyfriend. How dared she ? Nonetheless, it wasn't the reason of his coming.

"I need you to talk with a guy, Archie." he explained. "I'm not worried for my... prey. Amber can't catch him, she's just too bad. But there's a young lad named Nate who could use a little chitchat with you. About... what you know."

The quarterback opened his eyes wide.

"You want me to speak about..."

"Yeah. Will you help ? Look, I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important. I know you don't like to even think about this stuff, but you have succeeded to go trought this better than anyone."

The footballer shuddered. He wasn't happy, a blind mole could say that. C'mon.

"D.R is still looking after me." he recalled. "And you helped me. It's thank to you that I'm a better man now. So yeah, I'll do it. I owe you."

"Nice. Thank you Archie. After the game tonight ?"

"Okay. Bring him to me, and I'll see what I can do."

At least goods news. Liam'll be reassured. Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey was sure it would be nice for Nate.

Liam Saturday February 23

"It's Nate, but not really Nate." whispered Nick. "Honestly ? This Nate scares me a bit."

Liam pouted. The unicorns did their best. They were about to leave for the football game, and for the first time since his arrival, Nate had showered, shaved, got dressed and was ready to go outside. But it wasn't like before. He was thinner, almost skinny, and darker. He had dark rings under his eyes, messy hair and a bad expression. For clothes, he chose to wear a dark shirt, with dark jeans, dark shoes and even dark sockets. He looks like a dwarf vampire. (It was a real living creature, mostly in canada).

"Why are you staring at me like that ?" he asked with a hoarse voice.

Or a little demon...

"It's nothing." Liam lied, but Nate didn't believe him at all. "Ready to go ?"

"Not really, but you didn't give me the choice." he grumbled.

Last monday, his bestfriend had promised to make an effort. But it was apparently harder than Liam had expected. Nate had nighmares almost everynight, and most of the day, he was just pondering bad memories. Whatever he did that fateful night, it had affected him deeply.

"C'mon, you love football." Liam recalled. "And you promised me and the unicorns, remember ?"

"Yeah, yeah... Let's go already, I want it to be over asap."

When they arrived at the stadium, there were already people everywhere. For a game of this importance, both team had a lot of supporters. Even Judy came, and she had given Liam a free evening. They joined Dami near to the V.I.P entrance. Liam smiled to him, but restrained himself to kiss him. He had understood his boyfriend wanted to keep their relationship secret. The unicorns had explained him it was better that way, because a succubus-clairvoyant-cook was probably a target for the forces of evil. (When the unicorns said something, you just obeyed).

"Glad you're here on time." stated Dami. "Let's go, I chose good sits for us."

They headed towards the bleachers when Liam glanced Amber coming nearer. I'm gonna be a red panda ! He looked forwards to this (For real, he even had trouble to sleep so much he was excited).

"I'm coming after my show with the cheerleaders." he announced.

His bestfriend shrugged, obviously not happy to be there. Nick, being Nick, was playing his gameboy. He didn't like football anyway, he just came for Nate. As for his boyfriend, he took his hand and whispered :

"Be prudent baboon, she's mean. And come back right after, clear ?"

"Yes sir. Watch Nate."

Amber led the chestnut lad among her team. She nicely introduced him to the girls, and then showed him the costume. I love it. Damn, I love it so much.

"I'll let you put it." the captain said. "Then, you come with us for the show."

"About that, you didn't train me at all." he recalled. "What am I supposed to do ?"

(Liam the 8yo was just eager to be a red panda, but Liam the prudish stressed a bit). (After all, he was about to perform in front of thousands of people, including his bestfriend and his boyfriend). (It was too much pressure).

"Just dance, whatever, it'll be perfect. You're perfect." Amber smiled.

She left him to regroup her team. Since it was a fullbody outfit, he quickly undressed, and then put it on. However, he had some difficulties. It appeared the previous owner was smaller, in every way. He had some difficulties to breath.

"That's beautiful." complimented the captain when he joined her. (And all the girls giggled). "It show your muscles, and your belly. I love you like this, big guy."

"Uh.. Thanks I guess ?"

What does she mean, my belly ? He honestly had only a slight curve, absolutely nothing noticeable. Well, except with this too tight outfit apparently. But he was a red panda, and red panda didn't care about that stuff.

"Let's go for the show !" yelled Amber. "Let's remind to the crowd that our university is the best !"

Dancing as a red panda happened to be way more exhausting than Liam had thought. But at least, the audience was thrilled. Once the show over, the girls and him were going back to the locker room when a footballer came to him.

"It was awesome." he yelled (the chestnut lad guessed it was the quaterback). "I loved it ! By the way, Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey's waiting for you. My girls will distract Amber to let you go."

Liam nodded, not really sure to understand what it meant. Anyway, he changed and joined his friends in the tier. Nick was still playing. Apparently, he was facing Rayquaza and couldn't stop now. (Fyi, Liam knew pokemon. In fact, he even thought they were real and livin' in a secret parallel world). Nate wasn't affected by the good atmosphere in the stadium. It was electric, but the short lad was just sitting, obviously on edge. I hope it'll be better after his talk with Dami's friend. Speaking of his boyfriend, this one slapped him. (Gently). (He slapped him often, but Liam never took offense, he considered it like a sign of love).

"What the heck was this dance down here ?" he asked. "It was way too cu... ridiculous. You embarrassed yourself."

He was as red as a tomato. Liam blushed a bit.

"It was instinctive." he explained. "You didn't like it ?"

Dami mumbled something, but the audience shouted because their team just opened the score. Then, his boyfriend just took discreetly his hand, and focused back on the game.

Barbara The party Saturday February 23

What the hell is going on ? I don't understand. The football team had won its round of sixteen. Consequently, they were attempting a huge party in a community center near to the stadium. Thanks to her new built network, she had managed to get invited. Needless to say, the players were the center of attention. She could see them, surrounded by fans and supporters. She glimpsed Archie at the beginning, but he and his closest friends were spending the night in another room, with less people and noises. Anyway, Barbara and her hunter accomplices had been expecting something big tonight. Sam was supposed to ditch Summer with a public humiliation the whole university would remember. But nothing happened yet. That's abnormal. Until now, the short girl had stayed in a corner, in order to be the more discreet as possible. She had read a whole book, but nothing. Just a party, with music, alcohol and food everywhere. People were dancing, talking, playing beerbong... What on earth was doing Sam ? Curious and a bit anxious, she ventured into the crowd when suddenly, Leila hailed her.

"The blonde bitch. I should've know you would be there." she said as a greeting.

"It's normal to socialize when you're about to rule the student union." Barbara replied. "But the mystery is, what are you doing here ? This's a private party for the football team and their entourage."

"I got an authorization thank to my association." she explained. "We're insuring the safety of the women. And anyway, Colton had been invited. He could've bring me."

What ? How did he managed to do that ? His ex boyfriend was an unknown dude, and absolutely not interested in football.

"I get it." teased Leila. "You had to lick some balls in order to come here. You're prostituting yourself to get power. That's so degrading. Colton didn't had to make any effort to be there."

"How ?"

"Like if I'm gonna tell ya. Go die bitch. See ya."

And with a laugh, this asshole left among the mob.

At this point, Barbara started to feel a bit uncomfortable. How Colton succeeded to come ? Maybe I ditched him too fast after all... Did he possess ressource she didn't hear about ? But she knew him by heart... He was wealthy, but had zero ambition nor will. A weak minded like him, here ? And this Sam who hadn't followed the plan yet. Something is going on. I need to find what. She looked for her partners, and eventually found Linda. The professor was in the middle of an argument with a guy. What is it now ? The dude yelled at her for at least ten minutes, and Barbara didn't dare interrupt. Then, he stormed out, and Ms. Weber started to cry.

"What happened ?" asked the blonde girl. "What did he said ?"

"This was my third boyfriend..." whined Linda. "They all discovered I was cheating on them, and they all left me... I don't know what happened. That's terrible. My reputation is completely wrecked."

"What do..."

"Girls ! Girls you need to help me !" cut off Steve, who hurtled like a fury. "Bettany ditched me ! She said I wasn't fitting her tastes anymore. Do you know what the hell that means ?"

Barbara tried to say something, but Linda and Steve were totally paniced. And they call themselves hunters ?! She didn't know why these things were happening now, but it wasn't relevant. They should pull themselves together.

"It's a true nightmare." complained Steve. "If my own girlfriend leaves me, people will stop selling me things, and I will not be able to make exchange for videos."

"And now, all the men in the university will know I slept with students." whined Linda. "What the others professors will think about me ?"

"Guys, stop whining and..." Barbara started.

"There you are !" interupted Amber. "I need your help future head of the student ! It appeared the other cheerleaders voted for my deposition as captain. I didn't even know they had this right ! They havn't, have they ?!"

The short freshman started to lose patience. Why are they acting like kids ? I just don't care about their problems ! They were supposed to be powerful hunters ! And why everything was happening now ? She had more important stuff to take care of. She glimpsed Sam, and just decided to ignore these three dimwit to speak with him. But she suddenly noticed this hideous dude was crying. He was literally bawling.

"My girlfriends all ditched me." he revealed. "And since I'm not studying since three months, I'll be expelled from the university."

At this point, Barbara thought the evening couldn't be worst. She was wrong. Completely wrong. Because she saw her. She saw this damn queen walking through the crow to her. The blonde girl noticed her smile, her pride. She noted in her eyes a glint of morbid satisfaction. She did this. All of this.

"Hey there." greeted Summer. "Looks like you've all some troubles ? Maybe the head of the students can help ?"

All the pathetic hunters nodded in unison. They cried like babies for help, forgetting Barbara like if she had never existed. How ? How the hell this happened ?

"I'll tell you a secret people." smiled her opponent with irony. "Do not gamble against Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey. Ever. But since I punished you, I'm sure he'll be more than happy. Now, just left this party losers, and go pray somewhere for your future."

Steve, Amber, Sam and Linda obeyed. So much for their presumed hate for her. Summer turned towards her and outlined an arrogant smile.

"Seriously Barbara, what did you expect ?" she asked. "I'm here for almost two years, you seriously thought I wouldn't know how to deal with your pathetic plan ?"

"How ? How did you figured out everything ?"

The freshman could guess at least one person betrayed her. Probably Javier. Damnit. I knew he was weak.

"Let me be perfectly clear." stated Summer. "First of all, I only let you get the pathetic hunters who gambled for Theo. The swimteam captain crossed the line, and he got his punishment, but them ? They needed a lesson, as you. That's why Javier and Irina regrouped them and you. Yes, the old queen and me are closer than you thought. Aferwards, it was easy as the head of the student to make you all pay in one go. I have one of the widest circles of acquaintances in the university."

And I fell for it like an idiot. Steve, Amber and the others were just bad hunters Damian and Summer wanted to get rid of. They gave them to me for the fun...

"Don't try to beat me ever again." threatened her opponent. "I'm older, better and smarter. Whatever you are ploting, I'll know it."

"You won a battle." whispered dangerously Barbara. "Not the war."

She already knew what to do next. She hadn't the time to plan a revenge, or to punish these useless hunters she hab been allied with. She needed to catch the biggest prey in the campus, which would bring her the support from all the hunters at once. The idea make me nauseous, but I have no better plan. Liam, I'll catch you, ready or not.

To be continued

Damian doesn’t know what the hell is he doing half the time. But when he knows, he’s very good at it. Smooth talk isn’t part of it.

Archie’s back, is role is now revealed. 

Liam is doing what Liam do best : total nonsense. 

As for Barbara, a lot of ploting for that ? Girl, work better next time please...

[ill-skillsgard]

Patterns in the Ivy, Part 6 - Bill Skarsgård

Title: Patterns in the Ivy

Description: A continuation of Smoke & Money. Ghosts from the not-so-distant past come back to threaten her. She must choose between a lavish life of servitude or have everything she ever loved stripped away.

Warning: 18+ smut/swearing/mentions of drugs/kink & fetish themes

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

Nobody took the news of us moving as hard as Kiki did. When I told her, she cried. Then I began crying and the realization that the only important thing I would be leaving behind was her friendship. She had helped me through a lot of dark days and I felt like I was abandoning her with barely a warning. When I told her these things she shook her head through the tears and said, "No, J, this is what you want. Imagine all of the things that Ivy will be able to do. All of the things that you will be able to do because of him." I stared at my feet, ashamed for my past self yet high on the thought of moving back to the glamorous West Coast, into Bill's estate and sitting second to him, a King, dressed in the latest fashions and drunk on the affluence of his private desires. Although I didn't bear upon my excitement in the slightest, these fantasies were materializing quickly. I cried for the friendship that had gotten me through the harsh realities of living as a runaway but I did not allude to how I was now yearning for my taste of wealth. Not even to Bill. On the outside, I appeared calm and asserted but I knew that my thoughts were caught in a roundabout. I was excited for us, for Ivany and for the new way of life that Bill had already begun to wrap us up with but I was dreading the questions that were sure to follow after I told Kiki and Ivany's teachers at school that we would be pulling her out a month early so we could move. Kiki understood me. She always had. That's what made her such a good friend. She knew the struggles I had gone through at the hands of greedy men and how hard it was to fit into the mold of what most would deem a normal life. I promised her that we would come to visit or that she could come to visit us when she insisted if anyone was going to be hospitable, it would be us with all of Bill's money and his huge home and his fancy cars. As long as I gave her a glimpse into the new, exotic and luxurious life I was being swept off to live, she would forgive me for leaving. Bill paid off my lease so that we could move without a hitch. He had been persistent on us to take as little as possible since we would be flying across the country as soon as Ivany's last day of school was done. I didn't want to yank her out of school so quickly but Bill insisted we go as soon as comfortably possible since he had been putting work off for as much time as it had taken him to find me and coax me into returning home with him. It all seemed to happen so fast that when I turned around, I was staring at the front door of the little townhouse Ivany and I had spent almost her entire life in, bags packed with enough clothes to get us through a couple of days, ready to load into another one of Bill's rentals to speed off to a small airport where his private jet was stored. "J, are you ready? Ivany's in the car." Bill's voice sounded from behind me. "Oh, uh, yes. I'm ready." I felt his fingertips at the base of my spine and they trailed downward comfortingly. He bent forward and stopped when his lips were next to the shell of my ear. "You won't miss this. I promise you," he said with his mouth pressed to my hair. I turned to him and saw that he had on a reserved smile with one hand plunged into his trouser pocket and the other one reaching out for mine. I stared down at his wide palm, long fingers clenched together in an offering. I slid my fingers over his and remarked to myself how comically large his hand seemed to mine. He was right. Once we drove off I hardly felt the nag to look back. Of course, I still felt a swelling of sadness in my chest but when I saw Ivany holding Bill's hand the way I just had, nothing else mattered. We spent most of the ride to the hangar talking to Ivany about flying on an airplane. She seemed so happy that I forgot about everything that had been weighing me down. I stopped constantly remembering my past, the worries I had about paying bills and my shitty car and our tiny townhouse. I displaced the fear of being alone after Ivany went to bed. Now that I was with Bill, nothing was going to be the same. My years-old worries had dissipated further and further into fragments, specks then molecules before they were completely gone before my eyes like a fine vapor carrying off to invisibility. The private plane was a whole different experience that I never envisioned myself having. The whole concept of us flying on an airplane with just a pilot and one attendant baffled me. I tried not to show how impressed I was but when we drove up to the plane and walked up the steps and I saw the interior of it I couldn't help but scoff at over-the-top it felt. Ivany was naturally amused beyond belief and could hardly contain her excitement when she saw what was in store for her. Bill boarded right behind us and showed Ivany that there was a TV she could watch or places she could sit to read or draw and I had never seen her eyes go so big and round. The plane could have boarded twenty people but it was just us, the puffy white leather seats, tables and throw pillows and a blond flight attendant that had a game-show style smile plastered to her face. "Welcome aboard Mr. Skarsgård," she said, even going so far as to adopt the Swedish accent when she pronounced his last name. Bill nodded in her direction as he unbuttoned his blazer, revealing more of his navy blue button-up shirt underneath. I was overcome with a fear that I may not look as qualified as he did to be on a private jet. His outfit was intimidating, his shoes shot out from the ends of his long legs, the colour of caramel with a pointed toe and twice as shiny. His hair was all combed back and held there with a touch of wax and he smelled like the best cologne money could buy. Then the panic started to settle in and I grew quiet. I took a seat and just relaxed there for a moment to catch a breath and calm my pounding pulse. Luckily Ivany was nowhere near as nervous as I was and provided an incredible distraction between Bill and I. It wasn't flying I was afraid of. I had flown all over the States and was no stranger to it. My problem was the way Bill was dressed and the cylindrical ottomans and the plastic Barbie of a flight attendant and the fact that you could comfortably fit an entire sports team on the plane and then some and how I wasn't dressed for the occasion. The voice shouting you don't belong here kept repeating itself over and over and then morphed into something more like you don't deserve this. "Daddy, can I sit beside you?" I heard Ivany ask. Daddy. Yes, I thought, Daddy indeed. Sugar Daddy 2.0 and I was playing pet and wife and I had no clue what he did for a living. Was I sitting in a Mafia procured aircraft? Was I taking my daughter back to my homeland to live with a criminal? It was far too much to think about all at once. I knew Bill had friends and money but an old CEO of a beer coaster company who had erectile dysfunction had once told me that rich men didn't have a lot of friends and if they did then you knew they were dirty. He told me about partying with the richest of the rich and how mountains of cocaine really did exist and these Wallstreet tycoons would all take turns railing fat lines off of hookers and strippers every night. He was an old client of mine and probably one of the richest I'd ever had besides Bill. Sometimes all they wanted to do was talk and sometimes I remembered what they told me. I peered over at Bill and our daughter and he didn't look up once from the yearbook that Ivany had been toting around with her. Could he be the leader of a drug ring? I wondered this instead of thinking about how obviously underdressed I was to be sitting in such a luxurious chair inside of a million dollar plane. I tried to picture Bill up late at night in the middle of an unused warehouse that hadn't completely lost its purpose, sitting with a bunch of hard looking guys, talking business. In my vision, he was smoking a cigarette and maybe letting the conversation take its own way among his boys as he sat back absorbing information in the calm stoic way he had about him. Or maybe he was the type to really enthuse about his product. Cocaine, maybe heroin or meth. No, definitely not meth. Something expensive though. "Miss? A drink?" The attendant's voice shook me from my reverie. I looked back again and Bill and Ivany were both staring at me. "Um, no thanks. Oh, a glass of water." I said. "Darling," Bill called over to me. "Have some wine, you look tense." Ivany looked between the three adults on the plane over and over until her eyes settled back on the book in front of her. Normally I felt unsure of drinking in front of my daughter but when Bill nodded his head I felt like I was obligated to. "Sure," was all I managed. Once we were up in the air I started to calm down and with a glass of wine, it took the edge off of the anxiety that was shiving me in the spleen. Bill's fucking plane, of course, had WiFi and a Smart TV so Ivany could watch literally anything she wanted. I was grateful for the distractions until Bill stood up and came to me. "You can relax now." He said. "I know." "You get nervous flying?" "Not normally, no. It's just... This is weird." Bill fawned over me, running his hand through my hair. "You'll get used to it." What I really wanted was to get some time alone with Bill that didn't necessarily involve getting fingered in a restaurant or eaten out in the back of a moving vehicle or spanked in a hotel room. I needed some genuine conversation with this man that I hardly knew but had a child with. I wanted to know how he got where he was, about his family and his childhood and his hopes and dreams. What was I moving our tiny little lives into? Who was Mr. Bill Skarsgård exactly? Entrepreneurial hotel owner or drug lord? He excused himself to go speak to the pilot and left towards the cockpit. Once he disappeared behind the heavy velour curtain I turned my body around to see what Ivany was doing. "Hi, honey. Having fun?" I asked her. "Yeah, look out the window Mommy!" "I know sweetheart, we're up in the sky!" "I can't believe it." "It's amazing, isn't it?" Ivany nodded. "Daddy went to go talk to the pilot." "That's right." I had another conservative little sip of my wine. As much as I wanted to drain a bottle of Merlot to myself, I didn't want to start catching a buzz on a plane with my kid right there and my anxiety level fluctuating. I also didn't get too comfortable in my seat, especially once I heard a bout of giggling coming from the front of the plane. Bill threw back the curtain and I saw the remnants of a smile on his face and the flight attendant seemingly blushing. "Alright, see you later." He dismissed himself. I watched him stroll back over with a sway that had been absent on his way there. It made me really uncomfortable real fast the way I saw that flight attendant beaming at him in the kind of a way I would look at him after he called me something like darling or sweetheart or little girl. The wine suddenly started to taste really good and as soon as the attendant was in my sight again I raised my empty glass. "Excuse me, ma'am? Can you bring me another one of these?" "Certainly," She replied promptly, coming to take my empty glass from me. "Mommy, you should come over here and play with me and Daddy." Ivany's little voice called to me. "I'll be right over." After the attendant brought me a new glass of wine I graciously accepted it but not without peering at her for a couple of extra moments just to make sure she knew I wasn't going anywhere. I stared at the back of her head, blond hair all tightly wrapped in a bun sitting low on her neck, the tight little pencil skirt that exaggerated the curve of her ass. I looked back at my soon-to-be-King and tried to picture him fucking her. He could, I knew, but whether he had or not remained a mystery. I just didn't like the way she smiled whenever he spoke. My annoyed inflection was apparent for the entire flight and even after we landed. Though the sun was warm and I really was excited to be back on the West Coast, my suspicions had only grown worse when, before arriving, the flight attendant spoke to Bill and gently laid her hand on top of his shoulder for a second too long. The jealousy I was feeling was completely uncharacteristic of me and that alone was the cause for my irritability. Envy was a new colour on me that I didn't quite like and Bill could tell that there was something storming inside my head too. All I could picture was how many times he had wrapped those long fingers of his around that flight attendant's throat and pushed her up against a wall. Did he treat her the way he treated me? Did he whisper mine in her ear as he used those same fingers to fuck her with her forest green pencil skirt still on? The trip from the airport to Bill's estate was a long and quiet one. Luckily I was able to occupy my thoughts with the sentimentality of driving down familiar highways. It had been years since I had gone back home and I honestly never thought I would again but as we passed familiar landmarks my soul filled with the warm cure for the homesickness I didn't know I had. Looking at Bill's face, being in the back of an expensive rental car with our daughter bobbing in and out of a nap felt familiar in the way one might experience a cripplingly uncanny case of deja-vu. When we took an unexpected exit off the highway I looked at Bill, questions making themselves evident in my expression. "I forgot to mention that we moved." He told me. "You're not in the city anymore?" A tasty little smirk spread across his lips. "Just on the outskirts now. More privacy." He hadn't been kidding about the privacy part, when we finally got off the highway we drove down a pencil mark of a back road until we reached an area of rolling hills that had been excavated exclusively for the filthy-rich. Multi-million dollar homes sat atop of hills with winding driveways, cascading windows, carports fraught with fast cars, brand-new gates that were so recent you could practically smell the fresh cement. Some of them even had horse stables that drew Ivany's attention more than anything. "Horsies!" She exclaimed. "Do you like horses?" Bill asked her. "Yes, I love them!" "What colour horse would you want?" "I like white horses, like Maximus!" Bill looked to me, smile unwavering. I cracked a smile of my own and said, "she's talking about Tangled." It was cute to watch Bill pretend to know what Ivany was talking about. I couldn't envision a young Bill being interested in movies at all. It was another thing that made me realize I had no idea what his childhood was like. There was so much mystery surrounding him I couldn't even concoct a scenario in my mind of what he would have been like as a kid. Ivany explained the entire plot of the movie to her father and hadn't finished by the time we pulled up to a massive wrought-iron gate flanked with gnarled blue oak trees and pines so that what lay beyond it was completely unobservable from the road. Through the tinted windows, I watched the driver reach out from the car and wave a small fob over the sensor of a keypad just below an intercom speaker. The ten-foot tall gate creaked to life and began slowly shifting away, grinding heavy but smoothly on its tracks to allow the car through. I held my breath as we drove through, winding around a collection of trees that could only be described as a small forest. When it cleared I could see the house and it was a departure from what I had pictured in my mind. When I thought of moving back home I expected Bill's Victorian-style manor in the city where we had met for the first time with the roundabout driveway and the pillars and the easy access into town. The property grew bigger as we approached or rather, we grew smaller in its shadow. The structure was reminiscent of the Renaissance, with stone archways, red crosses marking the front windows, stone parapets and turrets thrusting into the sky like swords. The front entrance was atop a set of carved stone steps that took a gentle turn left beneath an overhang. The building was nothing short of a small chateau and Ivany agreed. "We're going to live in a castle!?" She shouted, her hand planted on the glass of the window. "Of course," Bill said to her. "Isn't that where most princesses live?" The pure unadulterated joy that she displayed was elating not only to me but to Bill as well. She rushed us to let her out of the car so that she could stand before the manor and stare up in awe as our bags were taken in. We stood in a cluster, a tripod of a family in front of the stairs leading up to the entrance. Bill stooped down to kiss Ivany on the cheek and whispered, "welcome home, Princess Ivy." She followed the driver to the front door, swinging and lifting her little legs up each stone step behind him. I had never seen her so eager before. I followed behind her to make sure she didn't go reeling backward with excitement and Bill trailed me closely, hand grazing my hip, little laughs escaping him as he observed all of the animation taking place. As I suspected, the interior of the manor exceeded even Bill's standards of luxury. Although there was a modern-day style of minimalism, whereas there wasn't much in the way of furniture, everything else was decked and dressed in Persian rug, velvety damask, crystal, polished wood, shining marble and well cared for antique brass. I had no idea why Bill required a bigger house than the one he had in the city but I held my tongue and asked no questions. That was right up until he showed us the bedrooms. Ivany's room was going to be redecorated to suit her four-year-old tastes which meant everything in purple, new drapes, a new bed and a redesigned walk in closet for her soon-to-be new wardrobe and toys. There was one window in the room that was covered in heavy linen drapes that Bill opened so the sun could pour into the room. He beckoned Ivany to his side and lifted her so she could see out of the window. "Do you know what that is?" He pointed. "Yes. That's a stable." "Do you know what goes on a stable?" "Horses!" "That's right. We'll have to find you a white horse to live in the stable." "MAXIMUS!" Ivany shouted. I walked around in a daze, my eyes never finding the same place to settle on twice. The extravagance of the manor was nothing like what I was expecting and there wasn't a thing that could have prepared me for it. "This house is... Gigantic. I'm going to get lost in it." I said more to myself than to Bill. "There will be plenty of time for wandering but for now, I want to show you your room." "My room?" I asked. Ivany had already busied herself unpacking her bag so she could set up her toys and put away her clothes as she liked to. She wanted her velveteen rabbit on the massive bed but there was no chance of her being able to hoist herself onto it. "Are you fine staying in here for a while, Princess?" Bill asked her. "Yup! I'm going to put my dolls together on the bed." He went to her and lifted her onto the bed along with her suitcase and made her promise to stay there for a moment. I knew that she would have no problem staying put but I didn't say anything until we left the room and continued down a hall big enough for a train to pass through. "What do you think of this place?" Bill asked as he led me down the corridor. "It's... A lot." "Do you like it?" "Well, of course, I do. Who wouldn't?" Bill stopped in front of a set of twin doors and turned towards me. The light coming in from one of the cathedral style windows was just enough to cast shadows over the painting frames, the antiquated accent tables, and his face. When he opened the door for me I stepped into a room that was not from our time. There was a canopy bed fat with scarlet and silver pillows, the headboard crested with hand-carved filigree the colour of bleached bone and four posters carved from mahogany. A bedside chest of drawers was home to a brass lamp in the shape of a willow tree, its branches tear-shaped crystals that twinkled as I walked in. All in all, I was absolutely speechless for so many reasons that it made me want to sit down. It was happening so fast and I was coming up with more questions on top of the questions I already had. Bill noticed that I was becoming distraught because I simply couldn't hold it back any longer. "What's the matter?" He asked me. If I had an iota less of self-control I would have felt my lip quiver but I took in a deep breath and searched for the right words to say to him as he stood there in front of me with his eyebrows raised. "My room? You mean we're not... We're not-" "Sharing a room?" He finished my sentence. I knew if I tried to say anything else I might start to waver. Bill relaxed his shoulders and took his hands out of his pockets, expression softening as he approached me. I turned my face away so that he wouldn't stare directly into my watering eyes but he was persuasive in the way that he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me into him. "I'm not going to pretend like this isn't a huge fucking deal for you. I know what it means for you to be here. I know that I plucked you and Ivany out of your cozy little life and threw you across the country, trust me. It's going to take time for us to grow accustomed to it all and I just figured it would be appropriate to give you your own space for now." He softened even further when he saw my eyebrows furrowed together. "I don't have all of the answers." He added. "I get no answers from you, ever. Why do you even want me here? What am I to you that's so important you needed to drag me back?" Bill's grip tightened on my elbows. "Listen to me, all you need to know if that I want you here. You are mine and you are the mother of my only child so I think that elevates your status from call-girl, don't you think? I want what's best for us and for her. Don't take offense because I offered you a room of your own. I thought you would be a little more gracious." "I am, Bill. I'm grateful, I'm in awe of you, I cannot believe what is happening but it's freaking me out a little bit." "Why?" "Because I have no idea who you are! I don't know what you do or why you have a fucking palace and I don't know what my role is in your life!" Bill ran his tongue over his teeth in preparation for his retort. "So you want a label? Is that what you want? Will some out-dated, superficial term give you comfort? Or can you just accept what is going on around you? Can't you just be happy with what I'm offering you? We can work out the details as we go along but for right now you need to trust me and just live in the time I am giving to you." Our eyes smoldered at each other. His brows were clenched and that alone intensified his entire expression. The look he had on was absolutely menacing and for some reason, I wanted to tread further just to see where it would take me. "You want an obedient little house pet." "Just one little facet of the overall person I know you to be." "You don't know me at all." Bill grabbed my cheeks with one hand, pinching my face as he snarled, "I want you to be a good little girl and live with me in my fucking castle with our perfect daughter who is about to turn five and I want to own that cunt while you help me run the fucking world. I want you to stop complaining and spend my fucking money on shit that will make you two happy and at the end of the day, I want you to worship at my feet and make me come because you know..." His voice dulled to a low whisper. "You know that Daddy's going to make you come ten times harder, isn't that right?" I felt my flesh crawl and my knees weaken when Bill let go of my face. "You're already here, J. You made it. You're the Queen of this castle... But everybody knows that she still answers to the King." He told me. "Okay... Fine." "Does all that sound good to you?" "Yes." "Yes, what?" He growled. "Yes... Daddy." As soon as the word left my mouth I watched his teeth graze his bottom lip and he pulled me in close to him, tipping my face up and licking his lips before kissing me long and hard. When he pulled away he whispered, "that's my good girl. Now, we're going to have a really nice dinner together as a family, then we're going to put our child to sleep, then we're going to the master bedroom and Daddy's going to make you remember why that pussy belongs to me." "Yes, Daddy." "You want to play with me?" "Yes," I squeaked. "You promise?" "Tell me. Tell me you want to." "I want to play with you, Daddy." "You're going to have to prove it to me tonight, kitten."

[horrorslashergirl]

Midnight Screams

A Richard Firewood Fic.

Richard Firewood created by me

Authors Note: The first story with Richard Firewood my slasher OC. I tried to pin-point his personality, how manipulative, greedy, selfish, narcissistic he is. He is a killer after all, not a dream guy, but he does can play it.... For his own purpouse of course.

Warning: Gore, Blood, Death and some Sexual Scene

The intimidating building that could be easily mistaken for a castel, made Fionna wonder if the scenario before her was even real.

If you asked her, the perfect holiday would have been maybe somewhere where she could go to malls, museums, but of course when you were stuck with grandparents you couldn’t possible say no.

Her grandparents sighed with happiness, walking on the white marble steps of the principal entry of the luxurious hotel and all Fionna could do was sigh and follow after them, their lugages already taken by the bellhop men.

As she entered the hotel, her eyes widened by the decor and the great staircase, covered by an impecable blood red carpet. The chandelier that was anything but modest, was probably made out of gold and with crystals.

Everything screamed luxury that would make the greediest human drool. Everything was either marble, gold or something that probably costed millions of dollars.

What really made her uneasy was the lack of people. Looking around she noticed just a few people that were probably guests: a very out together women, probably in her late 30s, a couple that enjoyed some coffee and a little boy that played with his toys on the floor.

Fionna walked to the reception desk where her grandparents were and her eyes imediately were caught by a pair of emerald eyes.

"Good day, Sir and Ma'm. Welcome to the Grand Firewood Hotel! Its so good to see more people come." the man behind the mahogony desk spoke in a rich voice, deep and clear.

Inspecting him, one thing Fionna noticed was that he was tall, a man maybe in his late 30s. He had jet black hair, dark as the night into a long high ponytail, his forehead covered by bangs. His attire was pristine, white button up with a victorian purple vest and a satin scarp tucked inside the vest. She also noticed that he was wearing white as snow gloves.

"The ride was actually horrible, but we are more than happy to be here. We heard of this hotel and we wanted to spend two weeks here. Get away from The big City." Fionnas grandfather spoke, giving the man a smile.

"Why are only a few people here if the hotel is as grand as it claims to be?" Fionna asked, without realizing, only to recieve a raised eyebrow from the man.

"Well, considering you weren't asleep, my dear... During your ride here... The hotel is far up into The Mountains and most wouldn’t do all the traveling here, but I asure you, we delivere five star services." the man spoke with such calmness, it made Fionna gulp down.

"I-I am sorry... I" Fionna wanted to excuse herself, but the man waved it off.

"So? Just a suite or would you want two?" The man asked, looking from The grandparents to Fionna.

"Two would do. Thank you Mr-" Fionnas grandfather said, the man smiling.

"Richard Firewood, but you can call me Richard. No need for all the Mr. It makes me feel old." Richard said, taking two set of keys and walking towards the Grand staircase, motioning for them to follow them.

"Its absolutly beautiful! Its like a castel from a fairtale." your grandmother said, looking over all the paintings and statues. Fionna was pulled from her thoughts by Richard chuckling, the sound like music to her ears.

She had to admit he was handsome and oh so charming.

'Pull yourself together, Fionna! He is so much older than you. You are just a 19 year old girl.' Fionna told herself.

They finally reached their rooms, which were next to eachother. Richard unlocked the rooms and when Fionna entered she always dropped her mouth open. It was amazing, it looked like the room of a princess; kind sized bed with silk sheets, white fluffy carpet, the gigantic window with the purple curtains.

"I hope you will enjoy your stay, darling." Richards voice broke her daydreaming, making her blush and nod. Her grandparents where already in their suite.

Richard walked towards her and Fionna instinctively took a step back, only to stop when Richards hand reached towards her to hand the keys.

"T-Thank you." she said in a shaky voice, then just like that he walked away.

The rest of the days at the hotel went normally, breakfast was mouthwatering like Lunch and dinner. The hotel had everything; a cinema, a spa, a ballroom... Anything you could ever want for a great vacantion.

Today was just different, when Fionna waited to meet with her grandparents at breakfast, but they didn't came and it didn't eased her nerves that she was the only person in the restaurant.

A hand on her shoulder made her jump a little, she turned her head and noticed it was Richard.

"Apologize for startling you." he excused himself.

"Ummm... Have you seen my grandparents? We usually meet for breakfast." Fionna asked.

"Ahhh yes, they had breakfast earlier and decided to take a walk into the garden of the hotel." Richard answered her, making her nod, but still she was uneasy.

"Want some company?" Richard asked, taking a seat with her. She thought about it over and shrugged. Why not? She felt pretty lonely.

They eat breakfast and talked, until they laughed. She had to admit Richard was absolutly breathtaking; not only was he so handsome, but deeply smart. Who would have thought that the manager of the luxurious hotel was a former medical student.

"I do play the piano sometimes when none is at the hotel. It gets pretty lonely here." Richard said finishing his Coffee.

"Really? I always wanted to learn how to! But you know.... Never for the chance to own one." Fionna said, looking down at her empty plate.

"Want me to teach you?" That question made Fionna look up with deep interest and she followed the man to the ballroom where the Grand piano laid.

It was so beautiful and she was dying to touch the musical instrument. They both sat down in front of it.

"How about I play you one of my favorites?" he asked and she nodded, then he began and she found herself dreamingly looking at the black haired male. The music was like a purr of a cat, so calm and relaxing.

After 10 minutes she found herself leaning into him, until their faces were inches away from one another. That was the signal as she pressed her lips to his plush ones, emerald eyes looking wide open, but closed as Richard kissed her back.

The kiss was slow with a tint of sensual moves from the much more experimented man. Then like someone threw a bucket of ice on Richard he pulled away.

"I am sorry... I shouldn't-" but he was cut off by the younger female smashing her lips back against his.

The hell with it...

The next actions were like a blurr, he picked her up and laid her on the Grand piano, lips against one another, hands gropping, moans leaving her lips.

Fionna would be damned if she refused him. The taste of tabaco and wine on her lips from his kisses.

She felt his hands under her skirt and her panties been pulled aside. The next hour was filled by skin slapping against skin, kisses and bites, hair tugging and dirty talk that she wouldn't have expected from 'the gentleman' on top of her.

"You like this?"

"So tight and wet... Are you close?"

"I am gonna ravish you."

That was hours ago, as she laid now in her hotel room on the bed, thinking about this mornings events. She was pulled from her daydreaming when she heard a thug coming from The hallway. Getting her robe on she slowly walked and opened the door, and what she saw made her as pale as a ghost.

It was the middle aged woman that she saw when she first came to the hotel, blood all over her, her make up destroyed.

"H-Help... P-Please.... He.. He took my kidney! Oh God..." she sobbed, crawling down the hallway that had foot steps follow.

Fionnas eyes widened when she saw Who was at the end of the hallway. Richard, his scarlf long gone and clothes painted in red, and what looked like a big switch blade in his hand.

Fionna quickly shut her room, locking it and getting away from it. Outside, Richard stalked towards the woman, crouching down over her body.

"It would be a waste to kill you now. I only got your kidney..... But... The hell with it." he said, then trusted the blade into her shoulder, not a fatal wound yet.

"Hurts, huh? You should have thought of that when you run away, you little whore." Richard snarled, the womans eyes blood shot, as snot came out of her nose. The man scrunched up his face at the image.

"Disgusting." he said then stabbed her right between her legs, making her gasp, as he twisted the blade inside her.

"Too big?" Richard said with mockness, then pulled out, blood pouring out of her wounds. He got up and looked towards the door of Fionnas room, knocking.

"Come out, darling. Don't make me break the door." Richard said with such calmness that made Fionna start to sob, yelling about leaving her alone. The black haired man sighed.

"So be it." he said, then using all his strength he began to kick the door, one time, two time, then finally he kicked the door off its hinges.

A scream thore the room that was basked into The darkness and then silence, as Fionna was back handed by the male, the sting on her cheek making her fall down on her knees.

She couldn't believe that this was happening, the man who was the perfect empitom of a gentleman. He used his suave voice and charming ways to manipulate her.

"You tricked me! You used me..." Fionna sobbed, looking up at Richard. The man raised an eyebrow and began to play with the butterfly knife in his hand, like an expert, only making the woman more anxious.

"I used you? I am sorry to disagree you, doll.... But.... You practicaly begged me to take you." Richard said with a dark malicious smirk.

Fionna looked at him in shock, ready to get up and run, only to have her head tugged back by her hair.

"Easy, easy, little rabbit...." Richard whispered in her ear, his blade running across her neck.

"Got to say.... Your grandparents are quite healthy.... Not good enough for a kidney or liver transplant, but cannibals do pay handsomely." The man whispered making Fionna freeze in shock, more tears running down her face.

"Y-You monster...." she said through grinted teeth, only to recieve a deep chuckle.

"You know.... I was gonna keep you for a little while, but money and blood is more tempting than pussy." he said then pierced her right between her collarbone, dragging the blade down to her core, guts and insides spilling out, her eyes now lifeless pools.

The corpse dropped down on the once white carpet now crimson red. Richard sighed and sat down on the bed, pulling out a cigarette and lightened it up, taking a deep drag of smoke.

Just another day at the Grand Firewood Hotel...

If only his grandfather could see him... He would be so proud.

[weijunxmi]

hi and thank you for all the welcomes i’ve received so far!!

let me introduce my boy xiao weijun, hydrus pimp and owner of the grotto nightclub! i’ll try to put watered down version of his profile and history below the cut, along with some plots and relationship ideas, but please take the triggers on his bio seriously! due to the nature of this rp and his current and former occupations, it got pretty dark ; ^ ;

also! i’m available for plotting on both discord and twitter, so please send me a message if you’d like that contact information! i’m usually more accessible on those platforms than on tumblr!

ABOUT WEIJUN

26, from beijing, china, came to myeongcho via trafficking about 10 years ago

he previously was a prostitute, but has since graduated to being a pimp instead now! we don’t need to talk about the details!

about 2 years ago he opened his own club, the grotto. it serves as both a nightclub and a brothel, though obviously the latter is kept on the dl. he’s hydrus affiliated, but he’ll take business from whoever. his limit comes in his staff/the girls/boys he pimps out; he won’t hire someone from another gang. that just breeds ill will and invites treachery into his home.

the grotto is hiring by the way pls join us

it’s infrequent, but he still takes clients of his own every now and then despite being the pimp now. usually it’s people who knew him as a prostitute and don’t want anyone else, important clients that he doesn’t trust to anyone else, or just ‘cause he wanted someone tbh

anyways as far as his personality goes: he’s a bit of a control freak, a little bit distant/rude to most people, and definitely has a smart mouth. he’s also sorta a flirt, but given his past it’s probably no surprise. 

his attitude changes depending on how he perceives the power dynamic between him and the other person; if he thinks he’s lower, he gets smarter and ruder. if he thinks they’re equal, he’s more likely to flirt but stay distant. he’s almost kind to people he thinks he’s above though; he’s not truly heartless

there’s plenty of other trivia on his about page linked above and on his blog, but this is just what other info i can think of off the top of my head!

PLOTS&RELATIONSHIPS

some basic stuff first: 

friends or allies. most likely people he knew when he was powerless/a prostitute and stayed in contact with since then. he’s more likely to feel relaxed around company that was at a similar level/station in life that he was at the time or someone who otherwise treated him as an equal. allies are easier to achieve than friends with him though; if you scratch his back, he’ll scratch yours.

enemies. could be petty or could have an actually good reason for this. he’s a bit vindictive, so if you’ve only crossed him once then you’re on this list for life unless you can make it up to him somehow. even then, he might not truly forgive. could be an old grudge or something recent too.

ex-lovers. this does not exactly include past clients, though it is possible that they met that way. weijun doesn’t have a preference when it comes to men or women. it was probably only physical; while it’s not entirely off the table that there may have been feelings involved, it’s just very unlikely from weijun. maybe your muse was hurt by this, or maybe they knew the terms of their arrangement all along. the reasons they broke up may be due to conflicting alliances or lifestyles, someone caught a feeling and needed to end it, or other reasons.

employees. your muse doesn’t have to be a prostitute to work at the grotto! there’s a ton of different positions available that delve into both legal and illegal work. the only people this plot would be closed to is those involved in gangs who aren’t hydrus.

ex-clients.. sorta. weijun still makes time for you for one reason or another; maybe he owes you, or he actually enjoys time spent in bed with you. he still makes you pay, but there’s an understanding that this is entirely on his terms now.

blacklisted. for one reason or another, you’re no longer welcome at the grotto. yet for some reason, you keep showing up. how many times is weijun going to have to kick you out before you get the message?

neighbors. who doesn’t want a good slice of life plot to break up the life of crime and sex? weijun doesn’t live excessively, but he lives comfortably. maybe the both of you have no idea about each others’ crime affiliations, if you even have any.

in his pocket. any crooked cop out there willing to take a payout/favors for keeping the illegal going ons of the grotto quiet? weijun will make the deal if you do, but it’s best not to get too greedy.

i’ll add more as i think of them, but hopefully this gets some ideas going!!

[berniesrevolution]

Ten years ago, on Saturday, September 13th, 2008, the world was about to end.

The New York Federal Reserve was a zoo. Imagine NASA headquarters on the day a giant asteroid careens into the atmosphere. That was the New York Fed: all hands on deck, peak human panic.

The crowd included future Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, then-Treasury Secretary (and former Goldman Sachs CEO) Hank Paulson, the representatives of multiple regulatory offices, and the CEOs of virtually every major bank in New York, each toting armies of bean counters and bankers.

The asteroid metaphor fit. In the twin collapses of top-five investment bank Lehman Brothers and insurance giant AIG, Wall Street saw a civilization-imperiling ball of debt hurtling its way.

The legend of that meeting, as immortalized in hagiographic reconstructions like Andrew Ross Sorkin’s Too Big to Fail, is that the tough-minded bank honchos found a way to scrape up just enough cash to steer the debt-comet off course.

In Too Big To Fail, the “superstar” chief of Goldman, Lloyd Blankfein, along with “smart” Jamie Dimon of Chase, “fighter” John Mack of Morgan Stanley, and other titans brokered the deal of deals, just in time to stave off a Mad Max scenario for us all.

The plan included a federal bailout of incompetent AIG, along with key mergers – Bank of America buying Merrill, Barclays swallowing the sinking hull of Lehman, etc.

With respect to the fine actors in the film, the legend is bull.

There are more accurate chronicles of the crisis period, including the just-released Financial Exposure by Elise Bean of the Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations, probably the most aggressive crew of financial detectives who sifted through the rubble over the past 10 years. Bean’s account of what went on at banks like Goldman, HSBC, UBS and Washington Mutual is terrifying to read even now.

But history is written by the victors, and the banks that blew up the economy are somehow still winning the narrative. Persistent propaganda about what happened 10 years ago not only continues to warp news coverage, but contributed to a wide array of political consequences, including the election of Donald Trump.

The most persistent myths about 2008:

Myth#1: The crash was an accident

In the early days of the crash, reporters were told the crisis particulars were probably too complex for news audiences. But metaphors would do. And the operating metaphor for 2008 was a “thousand-year flood,” a rare and inexplicable accident – something that just sort of happened.

It was even implied that the meltdown was due in part to irrational panic, “hysteria,” a fear of fear itself. When Lehman Brothers failed, the theory held, investors overreacted by freezing all lending, causing more disruptions and more losses. The economy was basically healthy, but fear had caused it to founder on a lack of confidence.

In Too Big to Fail, William Hurt plays Treasury Secretary Paulson as a saddened, wearied Atlas. He quips, early in the mess: “This is a confidence game,” and if Lehman Brothers failed, “all the other banks are gonna drop like dominoes.”

Poor Cynthia Nixon, who plays Treasury spokesperson Michele Davis, is heard responding, “Congress won’t move until we’ve already hit the iceberg.”

The film flashes to Lehman’s Dick “The Gorilla“ Fuld (played by James Woods in kinetic perma-jerk mode), who contrasts their fears with his overconfident weather report:

“Real estate always comes back,” he snorts, smugly fixing his tux. “I’ve seen this before. CEOs panic and they sell out cheap… The street’s running around with its hair on fire, but the storm always passes.”

This colorful language – dominoes, a confidence game, an “iceberg,” a “storm” – artfully disguised reality. This wasn’t weather coming at them, but the consequences of years of untrammeled criminal fraud.

Banks like Lehman had lent billions to fly-by-night mortgage mills like Countrywide and New Century. Those firms in turn sent hordes of loan hustlers into lower-income neighborhoods offering magical deals to anyone who could “fog a mirror,” as former Countrywide executive Michael Winston once put it to me. The targets were frequently minorities and the elderly.

Tales of mortgage swindlers guzzling Red Bulls and handing out easy loans in all directions began showing up in news reports as early as 2005. “It was like a boiler room,” one agent told the Los Angeles Times. “You produce, you make a lot of money… There’s no real compassion or understanding of the position they’re putting their customers in.”

These mortgage mills dispensed with due diligence, rarely bothering to verify incomes, identification, even citizenship. The loans were designed to have short, fragile lives, like fruit flies. They had to stay viable just long enough to be sent back to Wall Street and resold to secondary buyers, who took the losses.

It was a classic Ponzi scheme. So long as new loans were created and sold faster than the old ones failed, the subprime market made everyone rich. But the minute the market started to swing back the other way, everyone knew they would all crash to earth, Wile E. Coyote-style.

Paulson knew as well as anyone. Treasury and the other regulators received ample warning. Take the Office of Thrift Supervision (OTS), a regulatory arm of Treasury that happened to oversee two of the worst basket-cases, Washington Mutual and AIG. According to Bean, the OTS observed and ignored more than 500 deficiencies in mortgage practices just at WaMu in the years before the crash.

Even the FBI – not exactly an on-the-ball financial regulator, certainly not to the degree that Treasury or the Fed is expected to be – had warned as far back as 2004 that so-called “liar’s loans” were “epidemic” and would cause a “financial crisis” if not addressed.

CNN told the public of the FBI warning of a “next S&L crisis,” going so far as to identify the top 10 “hot spots’ for mortgage fraud” in: Georgia, South Carolina, Florida, Michigan, Illinois, Missouri, California, Nevada, Utah and Colorado.

All places that would later be rocked by mass foreclosures.

It took longer to get a car wash than a home loan in those days. I had one mortgage broker in Florida tell me he used to look for customers on the way home from work at night, at the beer cooler at his neighborhood 7-Eleven. His pitch was, “Hey, buddy, you like where you’re living?”

The end of this party was no confidence game. This was gravity: what went way up, coming way down.

The captain of the Titanic ignored one day’s worth of iceberg warnings and went down in history as an all-time schmuck for it. History commends him only for the honorable act of going down with his ship.

The titans of Wall Street ignored at least four years of warnings, escaped richer than ever, and in the end were lauded as heroes by the likes of Sorkin.

Myth #2: The crash was caused by greedy homeowners

Too Big To Fail shows Fuld on a rant:

“People act like we’re crack dealers,” Fuld (James Woods) gripes. “Nobody put a gun to anybody’s head and said, ‘Hey, nimrod, buy a house you can’t afford. And you know what? While you’re at it, put a line of credit on that baby and buy yourself a boat.”

This argument is the Wall Street equivalent of Reagan’s famous Cadillac-driving “welfare queen” spiel, which today is universally recognized as asinine race rhetoric.

Were there masses of people pre-2008 buying houses they couldn’t afford? Hell yes. Were some of them speculators or “flippers” who were trying to game the bubble for profit? Sure.

Most weren’t like that – most were ordinary working people, or, worse, elderly folks encouraged to refinance and use their houses as ATMs – but there were some flippers in there, sure.

People pointing the finger at homeowners are asking the wrong questions. The right question is, why didn’t the Fulds of the world care if those “nimrods” couldn’t afford their loans?

The answer is, the game had nothing to do with whether or not the homeowner could pay. The homeowner was not the real mark. The real suckers were institutional customers like pensions, hedge funds and insurance companies, who invested in these mortgages.

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