#probably just my brain coping with it all but

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

When you point out how neurodiversity affects whole areas of the brain, not just what we see as the presentation symptoms, it seems so obvious. I've known that many neurodivergent conditions have high rate of co-morbidities, but haven't thought about what that would mean. I really liked your explanation of what else dyslexia affects, it made me recategorise some of my sister's mom behaviours. I see time blindness, some executive dysfunction, organisation difficulties and go, yup, I've got that too, it's normal, and forget that most people don't struggle with that (I've suspected I have undiagnosed ADHD for years, but never got checked for it, since I suggested it my dad freaked out, insisting there was nothing wrong with me. I really should though)

May I ask how your synaesthesia manifests for you? I'm always curious about how neurodiversity manifests in people and how it affects them, because there are so many minor and major things not talked about. I apologise if that question makes you uncomfortable, you don't have yo answer it.

Anyway, thank you for your explanation! It made a lot of things click all at once for me.

If you want lots of examples of how my synaesthesia works, I have a tag you could trawl here. But, I have a few different types; the common numbers-have-colours one, but I also get textures and sensations and feelings, and about... literally everything. Numbers, words, people's voices, names, personalities, the plots of media, images, everything.

Soooo, yeah. Sensory overload is the big impact; trial and error over the years has shown me it's primarily auditory, so if I can wear earplugs I can cope for longer in 'busy' environments. The other thing is that it really does a number on my mathematical ability, though, because, I shit you not, the colours get in the way. When I was a small child I was shown that 3 + 5 = 8, and my brain went "Yes, orange + pink = brown, got it" and ever since then if I see a 3 and a 5 together in a sum it DOES NOT MATTER what the operator is, I immediately assume the answer is 8. 3 plus 5? 8. 3 minus 5? Also 8. 3 times 5? Buddy you'll never guess. But it's 8.

It takes conscious effort not to do this T_T

The other thing is that I really, REALLY suffer from this thing where someone goes "Hey, we should watch Program X" but the problem is, you see, the problem is, I cannot stand the sensation I get from the name Program X, and therefore I will not watch it out of disgust that is totally unrelated to the actual show. This applies to all media, places, human beings, etc. (It is obviously a thing I have to be careful of when it's human beings.)

I think everything else I have is ADHD-related though, so that's probably everything I can put down to the synaesthesia.

[scoobydoodean]

Honestly I think that a lot of the reason why people view dean as abusive towards jack is because they genuinely think of him as a baby/toddler and not someone with the cognitive abilities of an older teenager/young adult who just happens to not really know much about the world. Obviously there's more to it because people ignore that cas wanted to put jack in the cage and sam wanted to use his power, but I stumbled across a post the other day about how they (the writers and the characters) should've given jack a capri-sun instead of a beer because he's a "literal toddler"... which is just completely incorrect and considering he has the body and brain development of someone who's older, there's no reason to not give him a beer. (also is anyone really a dad unless they give their 3 yr old a beer /j)

Context

It's funny because the whole point of the beer scene is to establish that Jack is not a child and that treating him like one would be ridiculous.

[DEAN grabs and opens a bottle of beer. JACK imitates him.] DEAN Wait, wait, wait, wait. How old do you think you are? JACK 3 days, 17 hours, and 42 minutes.

(From 13.02)

When Jack proves that he has such an advanced understanding of communication and time and such an unusual awareness of exactly how much time has passed, Dean immediately realizes that treating him as if he's a baby makes absolutely no sense because he clearly isn't one. Treating him like a child would be infantilizing, and we see Jack rebel against the notion that he's a baby a few times.

There's some push I think to separate Jack's intellectual abilities from his emotional coping abilities, but even these I think are more or less on track with other young adolescents around the age he presents himself to be when controlling for traumatic experiences. Jack's initial emotional regulation abilities don't read like those of a toddler, but of a young adult who's confused and upset and has been through a lot. Without powers in the mix that he doesn't know how to control, his emotional regulation abilities seem fairly standard for boys his age (at least to me). I don't think for example, that the anger he experiences and the reasons he experiences that anger can be equated with toddler-like tantrums, and any other person whose been around a toddler and sees what kind of things make them furious knows what I mean.

Granted, there are things Jack is naive about that are probably connected to him being "born yesterday". We see this early on when Asmodeus tries to manipulate Jack into opening a hell gate. At the same time, this interaction also highlights Jack's innate sense of right and wrong as a counterbalance. I personally find it frustrating when people try to take away Jack's understanding of right and wrong (rooted in his love for others) and cast him as a baby to the extent that he isn't even capable of understanding the golden rule, when Jack shows over and over how seriously he takes the personhood of other people and the weight of their lives. This is what allows him to see through Asmodeus's trickery in a very confusing situation, simply realizing, "you're hurting my friends". Jack using his care for others as a foundation to navigate Asmoedus's trickery also serves as excellent contrast to soulless Jack in 14.19. Soulless Jack was not able to grasp that Dumah was manipulating him because he was missing this crucial piece of himself—his love for other people including strangers. Because he was lacking that part of himself at that time, he was unable to grasp that filling someone's body with worms for not wanting to be turned into an angel is horrible and cruel and couldn't be a good thing. His naivety played a role in what happened, but it was the crucial missing soul that actually allowed this situation to transpire. I think a lot of people just straight up think normal Jack also would have been manipulated into killing people for Dumah in this circumstance and I really just don't think that's true at all.

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

OMG would you like some SAD TIME?💙

I really can't stop thinking about a 'what if one of the Haitani brothers died' so I'mma share a slice of my brain in the hotpot. Ok, so, the ending was rushed but if it wasn't rushed, I imagine Ran is more likely to die in the fight. Right? That'd be so juicy. Like just imagine the after of it, just Rindou going through the life of gang and violence all by himself without the guidance of his brother. I imagined that he'd be reckless and would probably get into more trouble without Ran clearing the front for him.

Ran's death would overwhelm him with grief that he might question his own worth and abilities. He might even start feeling that he’s now even more in the shadow of his brother who was seen as the more popular one when he was alive but is dead now. You know, Ran lived his life being more known than him, he was the popular brother. And now, Rindou will be known as the little brother of the deceased Ran Haitani. It'll just remind him that he's gone everytime.

On the other hand, he'd feel guilty and lost. He feels guilty for getting separated in the fight and to be woken up by Ran dragging him to safety and losing him at the same time. He feels lost because the Haitani brothers wouldn't be called that if there was just one, they're always a pair. He's alone and there's no one by his side. No matter how much he rolls his eyes at his presence, he's still his big brother, there's no one else in the world that he's closer to than Ran.

Rindou's scared, really scared. He's scared of Ran leaving him.

Btw, I love your updates and posts! It really makes the TR fandom very lively!( ≧ᗜ≦)❤

Ohh this reminds me of all the Ran death theories/ predictions because of this image!

Rindou would definitely take it very badly though, he's always had Ran, always been part of a duo. So if Ran was gone I think Rindou would struggle a lot with what to do, losing Ran would hurt him so badly. He'd probably start using alcohol to try and cope too, since he already is known to drink a lot. Actually do think the remaining S62 members would try to be there for him though, Shion especially seems to think highly of him so could see him try to kinda be a big brother to him (it probably goes pretty badly but in a way Shion being a bit silly would likely provide at least a bit of a distraction to Rindou).

[vicioustoker]

stumbling onto the penumbra randomly four years ago and falling in love so ridiculously fast with juno as a character when i was struggling so much and couldn't see any way out & seeing juno go through the exact same vs getting to now, at a point where i'm significantly better and trying my best & seeing juno better than he could ever be, ending his story on such a good hopeful note and knowing that we'll be just fine

[sidesteppostinghours]

its insane to me how baked in the concept of time is to the core of fhr. so much of it is about how the characters deal with it. step and ortega are at the heart of it, obviously, theyre both always comparing the past and the present, but even with other characters it bleeds through. just the inevitability of it all. i think time loop aus hit different in fhr because in a way, fhr already is a timeloop. no matter who you play, no matter how kind or cruel or safe or reckless you are, itll end the same way. youll always die. youll always fall.

its the same way when you go back to the rangers. as always, ortega finds you. theyll never let you go. will you come crawling back? bridge the gap, depend on others to keep you safe? or do you push them away, bite and scratch until theyre safely at arms length? it doesnt matter, of course. youve done both before. neither saved you. neither will save you, because youre a villain now; you cant escape it.

even with multiple endings and the many, Many different ways sidestep could end up (god theres so many ways sidestep could end up, there are so many steps in this fandom i have no idea how they all manage to stay unique and interesting but godspeed to yall), theres somehow always that underlying feeling of "it will always end this way". its a feeling thats incredibly close to fate. and that is fascinating for a choose-your-own-adventure game thats main draw is, for all intents and purposes, the amount of choice you do get. i like to think its a taste of what step feels like– the feeling that you cant run from whats coming for you, yk?

[bueris]

okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead

[actual-changeling]

whenever me and my therapist talk about how other people perceive me she always says there's nothing negative, only that i come across as "distanced and slightly cold" (hard to translate the german term but it's not negative) which okay anna sure, if i am so nice then why did 99% of the people who interacted with me ended up contributing to my trauma???

like of course i'm fucking distanced and cold now, i don't want anyone to do that shit to me again. everyone wanted me to be like this so i would stop bothering them, so they could try to forget about my horrible existence that was so unbearable it made them try to erase it.

[munamania]

whatever guys….

[dirtytransmasc]

I haven't posted about Avatar in a *hot* minute, but, I have been infected with the hyperfixation again and the incessant urge to just hit Spider with the projection/trauma stick is driving me feral.

I just want to give him a shit ton of issues man. I want to make my sweet baby boy baby miserable. I love him so I have to make his life as hard as possible.

like making him absolutely unwell and giving him a list of chronic illness/disabilities (on top of the ones he already has from being human on Pandora) wouldn't fix me, but it'd do something that'd make my brain feel a little less implode-y 🤷🏻

Edit: small disclaimer for anyone who doesn't know me, I am disabled, hence why I said projection, I just feel like I should mention that, or the tone of this post feels a little uncomfy

[alienjaes]

Messy wires hanging loosely along my brain like we're laying cable for a new landmass but nobody knows where it is yet so we're just searching with live current arcing across synapses and why am I crying is this

joy?

[mousmoula]

.

[all-consuming-rot]

feeling like a corpse but not in the sexy way. really hope this episode stops soon so i can continue on with my life !!

[piplupod]

whyyyyy do people think disordered eating is healthyyyyyyy i am going to explode myself soon i cannot live around these people any more my god

[thethingything]

local man discovers he's gotten into the habit of using DBT techniques without actually being taught them because at some point he realised that the things we get the urge to do when we have strong emotions often aren't healthy and that he doesn't like how he feels afterwards so he started noticing when that was happening and going "fuck that shit" and doing the opposite instead

[rebelrainfall]

.

[stedebonnit]