#probably needs a tw so yeah

[hplonesomeart]

Heyyy….so I’m back to posting arts momentarily I guess (not like I went anywhere though. Still spending my life staring at a iPad screen for nine hours straight….hate this routine I loosely call “living” so much hahahahaha chronically online potato sack. Not doing so hot I can’t even anymore!)

Anyways uh-so I have a lot of scraped things because I’m loosing energy to do creative works I can’t keep pushing myself. Kinda accepted that I’ve weighed myself down exhausted myself with all this pressure and I need to let go. But it’s hard and honestly the last thing I want is fatigue again. But guess it’s a cycle for a reason huh. Can’t fight it off, just stuck powerless and letting it happen begrudgingly

So I made this unfinished gif (you can tell because the hand is missing and the background looks unidentifiable. Plus cigarette smoke just gave up on existing wow so relatable). Honestly I kinda set myself up to get stuck on the process of this anyways since I don’t like animating on Procreate. The layering frames system is a pain to navigate. Only reason I wanted to animate Mr. Puzzles using Procreate is for some level of gained “experience” and added brush diversity for the glitch effect. But guess it wasn’t enough to keep my attention. Started it on August 5th, probably abandoned it two days later or so. I don’t know it feels like a long long time ago by now but that’s just because I’ve been overwhelmed mentally and can’t keep track of days passing bye

And this is the simplified version (aka what I started with originally as a drawn base messy sketchy illustration)

[sporkberries]

I’ve been thinking about the portrayal of SA and misogyny within fallout new vegas, from the Fiends and Caesar’s Legion specifically I think new vegas does a pretty good job at portraying oppression and abuse without seeming... for lack of a better term masturbatory. It’s by no means perfect obviously but i think its a solid attempt. The(living) victims of rape that we see within New Vegas( Pretty Sarah, Corporal Besty, and Siri) all have stories that i found pretty moving, relatable and truly heart wrenching. I think Betsy and Siri are the two that really stick out to me the most( sarah i struggled with getting involved in that quest line as it was too triggering ). Betsy is the definition of a “messy” victim. What Cook-Cook did to her left lasting scars, ones she refuses to acknowledge. And she’s angry she’s angry and she’s hypersexual and she’s lashing out at everyone in her life about it. She doesn’t want to be seen as weak and she doesn’t want to be a burden( i think her being a lesbian and very proud of that further bothers her as well, the fact a man was able to assault her weighs on her). Though her actions(especially her more pervy behaviour) aren’t excused by the narrative it’s very clearly a side affect of the severe trauma she experienced. I think it would have been really easy to have turned the Cook-Cook bounty/quest into a rape revenge story and I’m glad they didn’t. Sure she gives you some cash if you kill the bastard but the main way to help Betsy isnt (rightfully) killing her rapist but to help her get the help she needs, convincing her that her fellow soldiers care about her. It’s not common for more “messy” victims to be portrayed in media and personally Besty means a lot to me for that. Now contrast her with Siri, who is the complete opposite and equally strong because of it. Siri is a slave for Caesar’s Legion and given that she’s also a woman its not hard to guess what that entails. There’s been moments in video games where I’ve cried or felt disgusted and scared but when Siri warns a female legion courier about what legion men do and what they’ve been saying about her it makes me so... I dont even know how to put it into words(as my feelings on this topic are much harder to pin down and articulate compared to betsy). Even if you’re aiding the very men who are doing the awful things to her and the other women she doesn’t want you to experience what she’s gone through. She’ll warn the courier of what the legioners say about her of what they want to do and it’s just... god. I realize this isnt very well put together but its hard to know what to say about Siri other than she fucks me up. I realize there isn’t much of a thesis to this post but if there was it would be that I feel very seen by these women, and their stories and experiences manage to affect and move me greatly, while not being profoundly irritating and disgusting like so many other rape stories(especially written by male authors) are.

[gooberino]

Instances of Father being abused in the show: Flinching when grandpa swings his arm at him, showing he's likely been physically abused.

He still craves Grandfathers validation even after being competely dismissed by him multiple times. He wants to stand up to him but he doesn't have the strength to do so, so he slips into his old ways.

He becomes extremely depressed and self destructive when he's at first dismissed by Grandfather.

A more minor one but he clearly has trauma being forced to eat things he didn't like as a kid. It causes him to just regress completely back to the moment it happened! Kinda like PTSD.







[shepards-folly]

Like an angel crushed underneath god’s boot [+ wip images under the cut]

[goldkirk]

question: have any of you personally seen a dietician (not looking for experiences with nutritionists, only dieticians), and did you find it helpful or useful, and if you did see a dietician and you ALSO have seen a GI doctor, how did the experience compare for you in terms of helpfulness + how much you felt listened to and helped?

[piplupod]

just had possibly the worst nightmare of my life. yippee ^-^ <- is so horrified they are numb

[cringelordofchaos]

OK, so I haven't seen anyone talk about this, so I will.

So, we know in the new spin off Sean has his locs now!!! Seeing as the spin off takes place before the events of TMF, we can safely assume he had them the whole time, just due to gacha life barely having any nonstraight hairstyles he couldn't have them before

And while everyone's happy, I haven't seen anyone talk about Lia.

Lia. Lia's still got straight hair.

We know Lia, at one point, changed herself and pretended to be someone she wasn't for the sake of being popular, for the sake of people liking her. It was first revealed in the eighth episode - when Hailey told her:

"at least I didn't become a jerk just to please other people."

Which... Seemed to get to her.

We all know she used to be friends with Hailey. Not just from that piece of dialogue, but also during Hailey's song in the same episode, we have w quick shot which shows middle school her and Lia walking together in the hall, only Lia is wearing a simpler outfit, and her hair isn't straightened, furthermore suggesting that she did, in fact, change herself to be liked by Zoey, to be popular.

So, we know her personality, and possibly fashion as well, is primarily a facade she carried to be liked. And, now that we see her with her hair still straightened, despite rosyclozy having the ability to give her natural hair, we can assume she is straightening it to fit In, since the vast majority of rose meadow high consists of white people with straight hair

I'm not sure if the show is gonna really touch upon the subject of racism, or how well it would do in the first place, but this could very well be subtle commentary on how black people can be pressured into straightening their hair, due to natural black hair still being viewed as "unkempt" or "unprofessional" or "undesirable" by some...

And I'm not saying that every single black person that straightens their hair is doing it out of insecurity. But seeing as Lia's whole character is about someone who changed themselves in order to fit in, it does seem to fit her character...

Now, as of the finale, Lia kick-started her redemption arc that should carry on further into S2. She ditched Zoey and Maria, and by association the dromies as well, so we can see that she is on her way to becoming her own person again, and not having to care what people may think about her. And I can't wait!!! And, as she learns to love and accept herself more for who she is rather than what specific people think about her, she could also potentially stop straightening her hair (that is if she was doing it to fit in)

Idk how to end this lol

But yeah. Live laugh lia!!!!

[bam-monsterhospital]

fantasy & cannibalism

the decision to make wood elves in the elderscrolls (for the most part) cannibals who forgo consuming vegetation is an interesting one, but it begs the question:

how are the bosmer (wood elves) surviving?

the worst fact about cannibalism that everyone except biologists forget is that you will starve to death if you consume nothing but other people.

yes. STARVE.

why? because there's not enough nutritional value in human flesh. We're at the top of the food chain and the nutrients we need to fuel the engine of our bodies and keep it operating have to 1) pass through other creature's metabolisms and what they took from it in the chain of eating, and 2) if what little was left over has been already processed and used by the human body, there's not going to be much to gain from it. Forgive my extremely short and simplistic way of saying the higher up on the food chain a creature is, the less bang for your buck you'll get out of it in general: aka why mass meat production doesn't focus on farming apex predators, but instead creatures that consume low on the food chain, like grazing herbivores.

That's real life. You cannot live off of the flesh of other people, you will die of hunger(if the prions and diseases and other stuff don't get you first). Now, apply that to fantasy.

Moving on to elder scrolls

Bosmer are weird... they practice ritual cannibalism and the whole thing seems more spiritual (hence 'ritual') to tie them back to the essence of the plants that shelter them, rather than an essential part of their diet... maybe. It's a blurry mess. The 'green pact', the practice that forbids them from harming plant-matter means their diets are carnivorous. So...

Does this mean bosmer are obligate carnivores, ie: is their biology adapted so that they rely only on meat to give them sustenance (and thus can't derive it from plantlife or non-animals)?

if it doesn't mean their biology is 100% carnivorous and they are instead omnivores like humans, where are they getting their fibre, vitamin c, other stuff needed from plant-eating? Do they import it from outside valenwood where the green pact doesn't apply? That's extremely shaky ground to keep an entire civilization alive...

if the bosmer are obligate carnivores, and the practice of cannibalism came from pragmatism to not waste a resource they depend on to survive (meat), which seems to be what the lore implies, how are bosmer getting nutritional value from eating other people (aka, animals at the top of the food chain)? Not to mention if reliance on this meat is a common thing (again which the lore implies), how do their bodies deal with prion transmission? Do their bodies resist disease- OHMYGOD. THEY DO RESIST DISEASE, it's in morrowind, oblivion, and eso as one of their species stats.

'the green pact' isn't practiced by all bosmer but what does that mean when it comes to diet other than 'haha not all of us eat our enemies'. Are these bosmer also carnivorous?

i mean the boring answer is probably 'tee hee, they're omnivores, just like humans, duh', which opens up all the issues™ with the decision to make them so meat and cannibal oriented.

I don't know. there's so much to do here and everything's so vague and wishy washy.

Mostly I'm just frustrated with creators not knowing the one single most interesting and horrifying fact about cannibalism: it doesn't help anything.

[saint-bestial]

not feeling myself

[eggmeralda]

do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

told bro id removed means... did not tell him that anything had happened

[qilinkisser]

I feel bad blocking my friend on this blog. but she can't see this anymore.

[rawliverandgoronspice]

.

[stellacadente]

i realized how much it scares me that my mind will convince itself of even the ugliest things if i start thinking them often enough and it's... yeah. like i had a good session with my psychiatric rehabilitation therapist i think it was very useful but then at the end i got hit by this feeling of fear... like i'm so scared of myself and how low i can get

[nervocat]

I love my cat sm

[flowerakatsuka]

it's so funny that the sextuplets die and go to hell in s2 season finale hahaha... anyways, i've been thinking a lot of how mortality is a underlying theme with kuroba's character and how they're constantly forced to think about it with the work that they do and the losses they've experienced themself.