#probably hard to tell whether he is actually feeling these things rather than just putting on an act in front of people though i feel as if

[mad-hunts]

barton being awkward at first or even completely throughout a whole interaction whenever he's trying to comfort people is so in character for him TBH and let me tell y'all why because i think it's important to his character:

he can fake a lot of things. barton can fake being nice to people, he can fake being innocent, and he can even fake having a much stronger sense of morality around people if he wants to — but whenever it comes to empathizing with someone on an emotional level... barton finds himself often struggling with faking it because of the nature of it. and this is due to it being different than whenever he's trying to feign something easily comprehensible like innocence. but empathy is something that's usually viewed as innate in us as humans and has to do with love, which doesn't depend on logic. it's something that comes from within, so it doesn't have clear parameters as to how you should do it, so whenever barton tries to fake it in the event that he's trying to make someone feel better; he'll stumble. and so although barton can cognitively empathize with someone, his efforts to actually put himself in other people's shoes fall flat, as he just can't physically imagine himself being in someone else's position probably more than half the time.

so if your muse were to ever come to him seeming upset, barton would likely not know what to do / how to comfort them, at least for a bit before referencing back on how he's seen other people do it. because i hate to say it (i don't, in reality, but y'all know what i mean LOL) but barton does actively mimic behaviors that he sees people do whenever he feels the absence of a certain emotion. he especially does this whenever he's trying to appear charming to other people, but like i said, he'll also try to use what he's seen his peers do as a guide as for what he should do in regards to empathy. and sometimes he may even seem a bit flustered before he's able to do this because he knows that it is expected of him to be able to empathize with people and can identify it in other people BUT knowing how to approach faking it has always been sort of hard for him even as an adult.

but yeahhh, that's just my own two cents about how barton sometimes break character that he is quote unquote ' normal, ' though he does try to mask this around people who aren't really familiar with him as simply being social awkwardness. however, it is part of a larger thing with him as despite the fact that he can blend in with the population REALLY well and also is pretty good at manipulating others, i suppose you could say that barton is still not an expert at ' constructing empathy ' because whenever someone is visibly hurt in front of him... he is more liable to act like he isn't sure what to do, than to put on an act immediately since he is likely to feel nothing first before anything else. and i realize that that is a rather unsettling thought, but i think that he is a lot more suspectible to doing this with people he doesn't know well / who he isn't particularly close to, as he's got a lot more practice with being falsely empathetic towards friends and/or sometimes even family members.

[roosterr]

white flag ✹ proglogue

note: can't believe i'm actually writing for ghost, yes he was the reason i got into cod, but i havent thought about him since like january lol. has this trope already been done? yes. am i doing it anyway? also yes.

pairing: ghost x gn!reader

wc: 2.2k

no use of y/n readers callsign is 'stingray'

summary: if there's one constant in your life, it's that ghost doesn't like you, so when your house burns down and you have no choice but to move in with him, it feels like your life is on a steady downhill spiral.

warnings: slowburn, some angst, your house burns down, ghost is mean, sort of enemies to friends to lovers

ao3

【next】

it's been almost a year since you'd joined the taskforce. nearly twelve months of gruelling hard work, and not for a single second had lieutenant ghost treated you with a shred of familiarity. at first, you thought he'd get over it, that he'd get past his obvious trust issues and warm up to you eventually, but you quickly gave up on that idea.

clearly, you'd been too optimistic.

which was unfortunate, considering how much you'd come to care for the prickly bastard, no matter how dismissive he was of you. it started slow; when you were first recruited, you held a great deal of respect for him because of his reputation, and you'd naively even looked forward to working with him. when you discovered his less than friendly demeanour, to say you were disheartened would be an understatement. he was withdrawn and stoic, never sparing you so much as a passing glance and a barked order,  whether you were in the field or not.

the other sergeants had assured you that he wasn't as cold as he comes across; soap and gaz both told you how he'd acted the same towards them when they first met – he was a lone wolf, not used to having to look out for teammates.

the more time you spent on missions with him, the more you saw of the person beneath the hard exterior. you saw how he seemed to know everyone's strengths and weaknesses, things you never would've picked up on. he always made sure the team had eaten, disguised as a gruff order to stay on your game. when he got angry, it would be because someone put themselves in danger, not because they screwed up the mission. you saw someone who'd been through hell and come out the other side swinging.

before, you'd respected ghost as a soldier and your superior, but now, after spending so much time with him, your perspective of him has changed. he intrigued you; he's quiet, introverted but not shy, more observant than you could imagine, and so closely guarded you wondered if he'd ever be able to open up. you'd only heard whispers of the things he'd been through in the past, so despite his obvious animosity towards you, you treated him with the respect you thought he deserved – like a person, and you'd hoped that with time, he could see you as more than just a soldier too. though he still didn't like you, you liked to think that the two of you have come to some sort of understanding.

and that leads you to your problem; you wanted to know him. every tiny crack in his facade made you more and more curious about the man behind the mask – about simon, rather than ghost, but from what you could tell, he didn't hold the same sentiment about you. where he would banter back and forth with the others over comms, he'd fall silent whenever you join in. every minute little mistake was amplified to him, you've lost count of the amount of times he's berated you for things he's excused for others. it made your heart ache that you just couldn't win with him, and you feared you'd never understand why.

but now, as you sit shivering with a shock blanket wrapped around your shoulders, watching the smouldering remains of what was your home in the middle of the night, freezing and exhausted, you'd never felt more hated.

you could hear them, ghost and the captain, talking in hushed voices a little ways down the road from where you sit. they probably think they're being subtle, discussing what to do with you like you're not even there, like every single one of your worldly possessions hadn't just gone up in smoke, but you hear them as if they're standing right in front of you.

"i wouldn't do this if there were any other options, simon."

"there are plenty of other options, just stick 'em in a hotel for god's sake."

"there's no hotels close enough to base – it'll only be temporary, 'till we can find 'em somewhere else."

"fuckin' hell, why cant they go with one of the others?"

"soap and gaz are already flatmates, you live alone and you're the closest to base. this is the only option that makes sense."

"i'm not fuckin' happy about this, price."

their profiles are momentarily illuminated by the blue lights from the fire engine parked nearby, allowing you for a second to see the withering glare ghost is sending your way, and all of a sudden the last couple hours of emotional distress is crashing down on you; his obvious distaste for you combined with the toll of watching your house literally burning down was too much for you all at once. you could feel the tears start to spill over again, but you can’t find the strength to stop them and just bring the shock blanket closer to your face. you’d lost everything, and even now he couldn’t find it in himself to feel an ounce of compassion for you? why can’t he care for you like he does the others? like you do for him?

as your watery gaze drops to the soot and ash covering your pyjamas, a voice sounds from beside you, the opposite direction from price and ghost. you don’t even realise you’re hyperventilating until they lay a hand on your shoulder and rub soothing circles into your back.

“hey– hey, it’s okay,” it’s gaz, you notice in the back of your mind, sitting on the curb next to you. you squeeze your eyes shut in an attempt to block out the world around you, and gaz brings you closer into his embrace. “you’ll be alright, we’ll get everything sorted, yeah?”

"i– i don't– i can't–" you try to speak, but you can't seem to form a coherent sentence through your sobbing.

"it's alright, just breathe for me." gaz hugs you tighter again, your head coming to rest on his shoulder as he consoles you. for a few minutes you stay like that, your breathing eventuslly returning to normal and the tears slowing to a stop.

price and ghost are still arguing, but you can't hear what they're saying anymore; probably for the best, if you had to listen to ghost complain about you for one more second you might really have a breakdown.

soap's voice cuts through the fog in your mind, "managed to find this, thought ya' might want it." you look up to find him crouching in front of you and holding out a slightly singed photo, a weak smile on his face. "frame's broken, but the picture's still mostly fine."

you take it from him, fingers grasping the card gently as you turn it around to look at the picture. it's from a few years ago, you and your friends from your previous unit, smiling into the camera as if you had no worries at all. staring at the ghosts of your friends starts you crying again, clutching the photo to your chest and leaning back into gaz's shoulder. if anything could've survived the blaze, you're grateful it was this. gaz rubs your arm sofly, whispering comforting words to you again.

you hear another set of footsteps approach and look up again to see price now standing in front of you as well. it's not exactly surprising, but ghost is nowhere to be seen.

"ambulance is here," price says, offering you a hand and pulling you to your feet when you take it. "i'll follow behind to the hospital, one of you two take their car to simon's."

you nod and retrieve your car keys from your jacket pocket, thankful you'd had the mind to grab it on your way out in your frantic state.

"I've got a bag in the boot, it's got some clothes in it." you mutter, handing the keys to soap, who smiles and gives you a pat on the shoulder.

"no bother, i'll grab it for ya." he says, and jogs off to where your car was parked, thankfully untouched out of reach of the fire. he returns not a minute layer carrying your duffle of emergency supplies, something you never thought would actually come in handy.

before you know it you're waving gaz and soap goodbye, the paramedics are guiding you to the back of the ambulance, and you're leaving what remains of your old home in the rear-view mirror.

✹✹✹

you hated hospitals. it was a fact, and it had been that way since you were a child, everything about them just made your skin crawl. perhaps you inherited the feeling from your mother; she always managed to bring up her distaste for the place whenever the topic arose. or, maybe you only hated them because they scared you.

either way, the relief you felt as you stepped out of the front door into the car park with price trailing behind you was palpable. he falls into step next to you as the two of you make your way over to where he parked, his keys jingling as he fishes them from his pocket.

"we're puttin' you up with simon for the time being, 'till we can get you somewhere else." his words make you wince; you already knew he was going to say that, but it didn't stop the anxiety from bubbling up in your chest.

"i heard." a beat of silence passes before you continue. "how long will that take?" you ask, climbing into the passenger seat and dropping your bag at your feet as price settles into the driver's side.

"i wouldn't get your hopes up. might be quicker to wait for 'em to rebuild your old place." he flashes you a smile, but you can't find it in yourself to return the gesture.

"right."

neither of you say another word as he starts the engine and pulls out of the car park. you turn to look out the window, watching the world go by, the quiet rambling of the radio serving as white noise in the background. it's the early hours of the morning now, the sun would be up in a few hours and you'd have to go back to work already – price did say you could have the day off, but honestly the last thing you wanted was to sit around all day with nothing to do but overthink.

after nearly ten minutes of trying to ignore it, the worry playing at your mind becomes too much to keep to yourself.

"you know he hates me, right?" you utter, half expecting price to ignore your question all together.

he clicks his tongue. "he doesn't hate you," price replies, and his voice sounds reassuring but it doesn't bring you much comfort.

"okay, well, he doesn't like me either." you turn your head to look at him, raising your brows. rolling to a stop at a red light, he meets your eyes and huffs.

"alright, he can be difficult–"

"really?"

"–but i promise you, he doesn't hate you." he says. you give him a disbelieving look, and he sighs, looking back to the road as the light turns green. "give him a chance, alright?"

"is he gonna give me a chance?" 

"he will." price says firmly, sparing you a look as he drives down the quiet road. "and if he doesn't, you'll knock some sense into him, eh?"

"sure…" you mutter, looking back out the window and falling back into silence. its only a few minutes until he's pulling over to the side of the road, outside the house number you know to be ghost's.

"sting," price calls out, stopping you as you reach for the door handle, "he'll come around, alright?"

"it's been a year, cap. i don't think he will." you reply, and before he can say anything else you open the door and step out into the night air, grabbing your bag from your feet before closing the door again. you give price a half-hearted wave as he pulls away again, before turning around and gazing up at your – temporary – new home.

it was nice, all things considered; a standard terrace on the end of the row, but the size has you wondering if there was even room for you to stay here. though it's not as if you have a choice. all the lights were off, which had you hopeful that you wouldn't run into ghost just yet.

you drag yourself to the front door, your eyes stinging from the effort of keeping them open, and twist the handle as quietly as possible, closing it behind you and cringing at the clunk it makes. thankfully ghost didn't hate you enough to lock you out for the night, something you actually wouldn't put past him considering how he feels about you.

there's a small side table in the entryway that catches your attention. on top of it sits your car keys – you make a mental note to thank soap in the morning – a new key, and a note. you pick up the paper, using the torch from your phone to examine the scratchy handwriting.

living room's yours. lock the door. – s

it's more than you expected from him. you sigh to yourself and pick up the other key, locking the door and shuffling into the small living room. the pull-out bed is made up for you, albeit quite messily, and you waste no time in dropping your stuff and laying your head down on the lumpy pillow.

with any luck, this arrangement wouldn't last long, but in the meantime you got the feeling you were in for a bumpy ride.

[the-moon-files]

I’m not sure if I’ve said this one already or not, but I wanted to tell you anyways! It’s about the humans-are-not-hylians AU!

You know the uncanny valley evolution? That thing where when you look at something that resembles a living being too closely and some part of your mind is screaming that it’s not whatever it looks like and to get away from it? Imagine that with the reader! They can spot shapeshifters easily because of this, but it instills the same extreme primal fear we’d experience, so it might be hard for the reader to confront them at first and they’ll instead just tell the Chain for a while.

This might be a double edged sword, though, because when Twilight is in his wolf form, the reader still gets that same feeling when “Wolfie” is looking at them, whether or not they know it’s Twilight. In this case, the first time the reader spots Wolfie approaching the camp, they probably freak out and try to avoid him, even if the Links are okay with him or if he seems familiar to them.

The bottom line is that wolf isn’t a wolf, so what is he?

“It’s okay, he’s a really friendly wolf!”

“...That’s not a wolf...”

Sorry i took forever to respond!! im slow as always, life is too busy for even my hobbies lately sobs 😭

bro this is especially true bc someone looked back at TP games and how he looks in his “wolf” form, and apparently he is actually a dog lol - like at most a wolf-hybrid, i added this in to support this Hyrule-is-hella-Uncanny AU lol

Moon: Guide! - Gender Neutral/Masc!Reader (”you”/he/him)

Orbit: Short headcanons

Stars: mentions of most of our Links <3

Comets & Meteors: CWs: typical LU/Loz violence, mild swearing, etc & TWs: mild possible derealization trigger, talk of Link’s Awakening and Koholint.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

The Yiga clan members have never fooled you, not Once in person, unlike back when hyrule was still a video game

it was the constant smell of bananas, the way their eyes were always a little unfocused or they moved their head to move around their eyes, rather than their actual pupils moving, the facial muscles all stiff, usually stuck in an uncomfortable smile-

it makes more sense once u realize that they technically have a mask under that glamour hylian face, but its never not hilarious to see Wild look over his shoulder at you before approaching a lone traveler on the roads and watch him get increasingly frantic to get ur attention to see if theyre yiga lmao

u bet ur ass every link was relying on you on their adventures to know shapeshifters/illusions/glamours/etc. on sight and tell them to better prep them/warn them

tbh they all got at least a little better at being able to tell the difference the longer they heard you point out stuff/talk abt exactly why it was off-putting

(that said some of ur heroes are better at it than others, both in general, and certain aspects of it: like Twilight isn’t able to pick up illusions/glamours for the life of him, literally, sometimes, but he is more likely to figure out shapeshifters by scent after you Guided him)

(no, your heart didnt crack a little after learning that the boys had a harder time with deceit after you stopped playing the game = “were forced to leave after their adventure” bc while they were better at detecting it, they werent on ur human level yet..)

(…the only deception you ever really fell for was Koholint. It was so painful too, because Legend quietly disclosed to you one late night that you would constantly get strange feelings/uncanny disturbances, but were never able to put a name to it for him, which both made you jumpy/paranoid on the island, but made him regret ever letting his guard down all the more or feel guilty for what felt like dismissing ur instincts the more he relaxed… Legend never doubted your sense for the uncanny ever again. He takes it seriously every time now.

When you feel as if you should apologize, he tells u not to, that these days he takes comfort in it actually, it makes him feel safer. Legend looks to your face for confirmation that something isn’t a dream, and if you look at ease, so is he.)

its the way you casually laugh at Twi being called “Wolfie” when he’s obviously a wolf-dog hybrid or just a big dog

and when everyones confused u just explain smth smth, wolf heads are larger in comparison to their body, their legs are narrow, their paws are big, dogs are like the oppposite, or way more proportional like “Wolfie” is, dogs bob around when they run like “wolfie”, and have shorter legs,

smth smth wolves cant have eye colors like blue, only dogs/wolf-dog hybrids can silly-

and Wolfie is just like, 😐 😑 😐

turning around and walking away, bc hylias knotted fucking braid- he really cant escape the dog accusations now, you literally used ur freaky truth-seeing instinct and read his shapeshifter ass from head to literal toe/paw-

Wild/Hyrule look fascinated, Wind and Legend cant breath theyre laughing so hard, Time is coughing suspiciously into his fist and pops back up smirking, Four is laughing but also encouraging you to keep going, Sky is desperately trying to keep it together while also trying to get Twi to come back lmao, Wars is literally pointing and laughing ashkljdl-

ok but Twi gets his revenge later by tricking you into yapping abt how Hyrule/Four/Time all kind of look “off” sometimes too

like how u swear Rulie is glowing subtly when the moon is full, or how the world distorts behind his back sometimes,

or how Four’s eyes change colors all the time, his fighting style looks like its rotating between 4 diff ppl’s techniques,

or how Time’s face wrinkles like smile lines/crows feet at the corner of his eyes will randomly appear and disappear, how he’ll have some stubble one day then 3 days later despite having not shaven (u literally saw him wake up and do his morning routine) it’ll disappear like it was never there in the first place-

and when Twi has stopped asking you abt the others as they all reel over the knowledge of what all u can tell abt them,

(ur quietly relieved no one asked abt Wild.

You resolve urself to just lie if anyone asks, even to Wild himself.)

☆

hey im alive!! im slow yknow how it is,

ive been doing too much, and i cant wait to be done with this class so i can have free time guilt free again 🥲

god thats one good thing abt getting out of academia i dont miss and would only wish on my worst enemy,

the anxiety of doing smth, even necessary stuff like eating/sleeping/showering, and feeling liek you should be doing homework instead, god its so awful

cant wait to feel like an adult with my own life again lmao

that certification better work and get me a white collar job goddamit 🤞

anyway, hope ur all having a good weekend,

and just to let u know, im so happy acc that im alive to see the first zelda game that actually follows what i originally thought the plot of zelda games was when i was a kid lmao

(zelda as the protag, saving link!!)

Peace out,

🌙

[dawndelion-winery]

Don't Wake Me

You're a dream and that's enough

Ft. Alhaitham, Childe, Dottore, Kaveh

Alhaitham:

Not the type to fantasise much

Still can't help but think of you sometimes though

It's just considering a hypothetical situation!! It doesn't mean anything!!

He's just ever so slightly curious about the taste of your lips, and the feeling of your skin against his

He finds himself wondering if you ever thought of him, if he was by any chance your type

Has no intention of telling you he's interested though

Not yet at least

Until he finds himself unable to be satisfied with just his fantasies, he's content having you in his dreams

Childe:

It's not enough for him to have a delusion, he also has to be the most delusional mf to grace Teyvat

Can and will overthink every interaction

Why shouldn't you be into him? He loves you so much!!

You drank a lot of water that day, you must like staying hydrated, and that takes hydro! And would you look at that! His vision is hydro!!

It's too perfect to be coincidence fr!!

Straight up acts like he's your boyfriend

Actually boasts about you to people and shows them your picture??

As far as he's concerned, his delusions will manifest into reality if he manifests it hard enough

It's ok if you don't like him yet, he'll keep waiting and manifesting

Don't even try to be sarcastic with him

"Keep dreaming"? He absolutely will

Dottore:

He'd never admit to imagining himself with you

He wonders if things might have been different if he'd met you as Zandik rather than Il Dottore

Also knows he probably wouldn't have been intrigued by you then

He was far too focused on speedrunning his studies to graduate and leave the Akademiya to do his own research freely

He's not opposed to complicated processes though, and winning your affections is no different

He'll get there by trial and error if he must

Honestly he's not very delusional so much as scheming

His dreams are more of potential plans to get you to fall for him

At this point it's only a matter of picking the most efficient one and putting it into action

Kaveh:

Has more delusions than the Fatui can produce

Somehow both almost as delusional as Childe, and yet the most pessimistic

Absolutely will not let you know how he feels despite fantasising about you almost all the time

All of his pining is done behind your back

You're a dream and that's enough

Or so he says because it absolutely isn't and Alhaitham's sick of hearing Kaveh talk to himself about whether it's possible for you to reciprocate

He's honestly just too scared to do anything because at least he can delude himself into believing he has a chance this way

Can't reject him if he never asks you fr

It definitely slips out when he gets drunk though, and then he'll deny it to hell and back once he's sober

Unless you nudge him and hint that you want him too in which case all bets are off

Taglist: @myluvkeiji @aqui-soba @favonius-captain @tiredsleep @raincxtter @gensimping-for-all @irethepotato @almond-adeptus @mx-kamisato @chaosinanutshell @heizours @haliyamori @callmemeelah @sadlonelybagel @plinkuro @thevictoriousmoon @mastering-procrastinating @cxlrose @astrequa @eowinthetraveler @ajaxstar @boundedbyfate @the-lost-anime-dad @moonbyunniee @greyrain23 @heavenlyfloof

[bluedalahorse]

on flaws as opportunities and organizing the beef

I’m in the place now where I have enough distance from Young Royals season 3 to think about what felt flawed about it for me, and it led me to some interesting revelations about how I understand the characters and the story.

And to be clear: this does not mean I didn’t love season 3 with every fiber of my being, or that I think it sucks forever. Even a great production has flaws. The wonderful thing about being in fandom is that we love our shows deeply but also like to pick them apart, and in picking them apart we come up with ideas for future fics and fix its and character studies. Writing flaws are always an opportunity.

Anyway…

Thesis statement: Wilhelm and Simon don’t actually have the same beef with August, and the show should recognize that.

Or, to put it more formally, August causes them different problems that need to be addressed differently. I think that by acknowledging that more directly, and leaning into the discomfort that creates between Wille and Simon as a couple, the writers could have cleaned up some of the Wilmon-related messiness I saw in season 3 and have been mulling over for a while.

Caveat: I still need to do a full, formal rewatch of the third season. But I’ve rewatched here and there these are my preliminary thoughts.

To start, let’s recap Wille and Simon’s conflicts with August in season 1. For Simon, August is a bully and a gatekeeper when it comes to the world of Hillerska. He makes fun of Simon for being “socialist” and puts Simon in a position where he’s bringing in alcohol and then drugs for richer students’ recreation. August doesn’t pay Simon back for the alcohol the first time, which also shows a profound lack of awareness of Simon’s financial situation. Despite bullying Simon, there are times in August’s mind that he probably thinks he’s done Simon a favor. I do think, as flawed as he is about it and as much as he’s making weird speeches and doing aggressive forehead kisses, August assumes he’s really helped Simon out by getting him on the rowing team. But from Simon’s point of view this is all just more gatekeeping. Simon sees Hillerska as his ticket out of Bjärstad, and he wants to succeed in his merits as a student and a musician. But the way August treats him reminds him that his talent matters less than how many favors he can do rich boys. It also reminds him that he’s expendable to Hillerska students—August is absolutely ready to let Simon take the fall for the drugs when he feels it threatens his position.

Wille, meanwhile, is not excluded or gatekept by August but rather included more than he wants to be. Prior to the release of the video, Wille mostly finds August’s “come here and let me play your surrogate big brother” antics annoying. The debate over whether to let Simon or Alexander take the fall for the drugs is something that increases Wille’s ire toward August and makes it more serious, enough that we see Wille out August for his money troubles. But Wille also entrenches himself further in the system as a result of their argument—he still uses Alexander as a scapegoat, and he offers to pay August’s boarding fees afterward as an attempt to restore the peace between them. Their relationship isn’t seriously fractured until August releases the video. This harms Wille in the sense that it sets Wille up to deny his authentic self and makes it hard for him to engage in intimacy without trauma getting in the way. In essence, it puts Wille in a similar position of trauma that August was put in when the Erik and the third years initiated him. (Much much much more publicly, yes, but let’s note that transfer of trauma, because YR is about cycles.) 

The video also throws Wilhelm into a space where he starts to doubt his connection with Erik, because Erik told Wilhelm he could trust August. At the end of 3.4, Wille tells August that Erik would hate what he did, but I suspect he’s been wrestling with the uncertainty over whether Erik would really accept him and Simon for a long time. I don’t know if Wille really trusts Erik even though he says he does. In my opinion, it’s August’s release of the video that first brings this sense of doubt about Erik into Wille’s mind, and for three seasons we’re watching him slow burn toward actually voicing that doubt and grappling with it.

I think it’s tempting to believe that the trauma of the video release unites Wilhelm and Simon against August, and makes them feel the same sense of pain and loss, but ultimately I don’t know if that’s true. I’m not sure I see Wille and Simon as two boys in love against the world, at least not in a way that isn’t complicated. For Wille, the video affects his ability to express himself authentically and makes him doubt his relationships with his family. For Simon, the scandal of the video will now forever follow him when he wants to break free of Bjärstad and become recognized for his own merits. These are different harms from the same event that need to be dealt with differently.

One of Wille’s flaws is that he doesn’t fully realize that. I think he tends to center himself without realizing it, and sees the harm that happens to Simon as an extension of harm to himself. I actually think this is pretty interesting, and pretty in line with how Wille would have been raised as a prince. We see Kristina telling him that everything he does reflects on her and the family, so it’s natural that Wille might see a threat against Simon as a threat to himself without really thinking through how they’re going to be impacted differently. And the “prince” as a literary archetype has always been somewhat rooted in the “rescue” of others.

I explained this to @heliza24 and she said something really smart, which is, “the thing that necessarily gets lost when you muddy that is how much Wilhelm’s violations of Simon resemble August’s violations of Wilhelm.” And she’s right. I’d been trying to find a way to say that some of Wille’s actions in s3 remind me of August’s more toxic traits, and that part of Wille’s hamartia in s3 is he can’t see the ways he’s behaving similarly to August even as he shuts August out. When August releases the video, it puts Wille in a position where the royal court and Kristina are forcing him to conform more-more-more, and to hide his authentic voice from the world. Wille in turn inflicts that on Simon, acting as the royal court’s mouthpiece when they want Simon’s songs or May Day pictures deleted. We see Simon worn down to the point where he’s almost fading away. It’s actually pretty upsetting.

To that end: I also can’t help draw parallels between Wilhelm’s insistence on public gestures of affection with Simon and the way August and Felice walk arm in arm after they get together, the way he clearly wants to be seen with her. I also look at the way Wille craves Simon’s constant emotional support—especially on the night of his birthday—and see August reaching out to Sara as his emotional support lifeline.

Now, for what it’s worth, I still don’t see Wille as this awful, irredeemable person. (I don’t see August as this irredeemable person either, for that matter, and this is part of why I see Wille and August’s healing as intertwined and interdependent.) But I do think one place that season 3 fell flat for me was in the way Wille never got to recognize that his own issues with August and Simon’s issues with August weren’t exactly alike. And for Wille to recognize that some of the things he’s trying to do to heal aren’t equally healing for Simon. (Seriously, I almost tore my hair out when Wille joined the choir. It wasn’t a romantic gesture to me—I found it creepy! Let Simon have one space to himself!) 

It probably would have helped to have one scene where Simon articulates that to Wille, and really point it out. I get it if we don’t have time for Simon and August to resolve their shit in one season, and since Wille is the protagonist, he and August resolving their shit is going to take precedence. But when Wille and August are still at odds in the first part of the season, I do feel this vibe where like, Wille assumes he’s the avenger for wrong done to both him and Simon. And I kind of wanted to see that reckless avenger vibe get addressed.

@heliza24 probably describes this better than I do, but season three does have a habit of obscuring Simon’s agency from the audience, mostly so the writers can manipulate the audience’s reactions to Wilhelm and Simon, and especially so they can keep us in the dark about the fate of the Wilmon relationship during the breakup cliffhanger between episodes 5 and 6. I don’t know if this was the greatest choice, to dangle the cliffhanger over our heads, because it ends up moving a lot of Wille’s development into the last 10-15 minutes of the season and creates an issue in pacing and character arc. I wonder if they could have spaced his character arc out a little more and infused the tension into other moments and ideas. I think that could have been more satisfying.

Incidentally, this is a season 3 writing problem that’s foreshadowed in season 2 with the way Felice and Wille’s friendship is written. Felice essentially becomes Wille’s confidant as Wille attempts revenge on August. This makes sense, as Felice has her own beef with August based on how awfully he treated her in their relationship, and she’s friends with Wille, so it’s a natural alliance. But once again, it’s different beef, impacted by Felice moving through the world as a Black girl with a rich white mom, and not a white boy prince, and Felice never gets a chance to say so. Maybe it shouldn’t matter, but it does matter because season 2 episode 3 ends with… Wille kissing Felice just to feel something!!! And at the beginning of episode 4 everyone’s talking about what happened and what might be a new relationship between Wille and Felice!!! Gosh does that remind anyone of Felice’s predicament in the middle of season 1? It sure does remind the random girl in the choir, who says Felice only dates bluebloods!

The thing is, I wish Felice had been able to make that comparison more explicitly in her conversations with Wilhelm. Things obviously don’t get as bad with Wilhelm as they do with August, and Wille and Felice talk things out. But Felice doesn’t get to express herself about that as much as I wanted her to, and we don’t get much of a sense as to whether or not this changes Felice’s views of Wille’s revenge plot. She forgives him pretty quickly, and I don’t know if she should have. Just a little more careful planning on the writers’ parts could have given Felice the agency she needed in season 2.

Anyway! Let’s talk about stakes. The stakes for Wilhelm in season 3 are that he’ll become August—or more accurately, that he’ll construct an armored facade like August has constructed to get through life, and that he’ll hurt other people in the process. (This is true for Wille even with him being queer, I think. Wille may be queer, but his whiteness and wealth and power and literal hired staff of PR-minded humans are going to frame how the rest of the world responds to that queerness.) Whereas for Simon, Sara, and Felice the danger is that, in order to maintain their place in the upper class system, they’ll become dependent on someone like future August or future Wilhelm, who has a lot of power and spends most of their life in armored facade mode. 

Wilhelm and August reconciling is still important, because when they recognize one another’s humanity, they can actually be vulnerable with one another the way they need to be, and take that armor off. And I think by forging that relationship with one another, they have a space to really question the values they are raised with and act better to loved ones in the future. But we’re really just witnessing the first step. And there’s a lot more steps they need to take with one another, and with the other people in their lives.

What can I learn from this as a fan and writer?

Thinking about this actually helped me understand a point of view in fandom that I’ve always disagreed with. I still disagree with it, but I think I understand it better now. Periodically I’ll encounter points of view where August is seen as the worst kind of evil, the sort of person where you unite with each other to take him down once and for all. You know… Avengers Assemble! Or something. In some fan’s minds, he’s the kind of guy everyone at Hillerska should turn against at once and ultimately reject for the sake of narrative catharsis. A symbol of the corrupt system and nothing more.

And I never really saw August that way. He can be awful and annoying at times, and extremely harmful at other times. He often makes things much worse for our other main characters a lot of the time. Often times he is the most direct representative of the system that’s causing them problems. On the other hand, he’s also capable of really, truly caring about people and community, as much as he gets in his own way about it. We also know a greater extent of his trauma now and how it affects him. All in all he seems as human and as in need of liberation as all the other characters of Young Royals. It makes sense that he’s the one of five who hasn’t left behind the system yet, but I feel like one day he can maybe get there. I feel like those are the writers’ intentions, and the show’s intentions overall. Certainly this is also the version of August that Malte’s acting reflects.

I think I also understand now why I don’t always see eye to eye with others about Wille. I adore Wille, but I think sometimes the assertion others make that “Wille has one brain cell and it’s being in love with Simon” feels threatening to me rather than adorable. Wille is really really fascinating to me in that falling in love nudges him to question things about his position, but it doesn’t erase his relationship to his privilege entirely, and he can be pretty flawed in how he understands his power and how it plays out in a relationship. I think for others, they might see Wille as protective and caring toward Simon. Whereas I see him (and prefer to see him portrayed) as intending to be protective but definitely at times overstepping and putting Simon in a more negative place than before. I think part of this is caused by a writing problem in seasons 2 and 3. We see the negative impact the relationship can have on Simon—look it absolutely breaks my heart when Ayub mentions how Simon deleting his social media will make him sad—but I don’t know if Simon gets as much of a chance to articulate that to Wille or even to the audience as I want him to. And I also see Simon and Wille’s very different conflicts with August as part of that.

Moving forward… these flaws in seasons 2 and 3 don’t ruin my love of the show. They aren’t me saying the show is bad. They’re disappointing, because Young Royals is so good in so many ways that it sucks when it does let us down. But basically everything I like has a flaw one way or another, because literally no work is perfect. And right now I’d rather look at the flaws in YR and say, this is something I can learn from and play with in fanfic.

(And sometimes there are times when tumblr wants to explain all the flaws of a show away and idealize it and I wonder… can we not do that? Because sometimes claiming a show is perfect and flawless limits discussion and creativity. I get just as frustrated with people idealizing the Wilmon pairing and putting it on a moral pedestal, which has ultimately led to me blocking the tag from my dash. I like them a lot more when I think about them as complex teenage humans who fuck up a lot and not a godlike ideal of romance. I love them, your honor! But I think I need to love them independent of the tag.)

As for where this goes in fanfic, I think this once again leaves things open for fans to explore. Once again, I think there’s a whole interesting story to be explored in terms of how August and Simon work through their shit, and how that really has to happen in a space that’s in part independent of Wille. A shared relationship with Wilhelm might be the catalyst for why they’re working through their shit, but some of what’s going to happen has to happen without him there. (For what it’s worth, I think we see flashes of Simon and August beginning to understand one another throughout the series—Simon is running some really interesting mental calculus when he realizes August has an eating disorder, shout out to Omar’s acting there—but those threads always get dropped or interrupted. It’s infinitely frustrating to me as someone who likes both characters and wanted to see them talk honestly for once but didn’t quite get that.)

I also think this gives me interesting questions about where Wille and Simon’s relationship could go next in fanfic. Independent of the monarchy, I think Wille is still going to have to work through his instinct to be an angry avenger or reckless rescuer at times, and the part where he assumes he and Simon are harmed in the same way by the same things. Even in a world where Wille doesn’t have a title, he’ll still have wealth and white privilege that Simon doesn’t. And I don’t think that has to get in the way of their future happiness, but watching them navigate through that is something that draws me into a story idea.

So, you know. This has been an update on my fannish desires. At least, my fannish desires that do not involve the rest of the YR characters, various ships on Heartbreak High, and Interview with the Vampire season 2 finally airing today. There’s a lot going on in this brain and none of it is the work I need to get done.

[a-local-idiots-shitpost]

just.. fluff... MC singing the brothers a lullaby because they can't sleep (and solomon and barb if you so kindly please!)

sure I can add Solomon and Barbatos, they´ll need some well deserved rest, hope you´ll enjoy and it turned out how you wanted

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucifer:

he will insist that he isn´t tired and that he won´t be resting until he´s done

yeah and tell that to his eyebags, if you didn´t know better you could have mistaken him for a raccoon

and for someone insisting he isn´t tired he looked ready to fall asleep as soon as he sat on his bed

hell you were surprised he didn´t immediately fell asleep when you tucked him in and began singing

he was also acting like a clingy baby

did you think you could leave? nah he will not let you go no matter how hard you try

the morning will be even worse because he will obviously be smug

and very soft with you of course, this will probably be one of the few times he will be vulnerable with someone

Mammon:

singing a lullaby to every bodies favorite Tsundere? this guy will struggle and fight so much just because he doesn´t want to admit that he´s looking forward to this

he also cuddles you as soon as you get near him, or rather holds you in a death grip

and he immediately falls asleep when you start

you could barely get the first syllable out before he was out cold, if you didn´t know better you would think he was in a coma or he changed sins with Belphie

he is very cute when he doesn´t refuse affection

and even cuddlier than awake

Leviathan:

immediately tried to find something similar to compare to one of his Animes

but you had to drag him into your room because there is no way you can sleep in the bathtub

which he complained about because he did not want to fall asleep, he still has to finish a bunch of his events and can´t afford even one second of distraction

you don´t know if it was because he never sleeps or because your that calming for him

but as soon as he layed down he was out cold, he didn´t even move an inch

you were even scared that you somehow killed him

he also looks very cute when he´s asleep

Satan:

Satan actually asked you to read him his favorite book to fall asleep to

but it did not work on this day

and that´s why he got a lullaby despite his embarrassment, which doesn´t make sense considering you had to read him a bedtime story before this

but ignoring this point he actually refused to fall asleep because in his words, it would be a shame to fall asleep hearing the most beautiful he can imagine

whether he´s just saying this so you´ll stay with him and don´t leave, or completely truthful is up to you

but one thing is for certain it worked

Asmodeus:

he will be so happy if you decided to sing him a lullaby

even better if you decided to turn it into a duet, how would you turn a lullaby into a duet? no idea but he´ll find a way

instead of putting Asmo to sleep you will just sing the entire night and refuse to be the first one to fall asleep

but it was a very fun night and both of you just fell asleep together

which Asmo will regret considering he didn´t do his entire evening routine and fell asleep in his clothes

you will get a rude awakening

Beelzebub:

he was very happy when you offered to sing him a lullaby

despite not needing one, I mean he can sleep just fine but he can´t say no to such a sweet offer

but he also insisted that you stay with him for the night, which you had no problems with

Beel is perfect for cuddling, despite his bed being a mess

he even slept through the entire night for once, usually he just wakes up for a midnight snack but thanks to you he didn´t even feel hungry when he woke up

Belphegor:

I mean he could sleep whenever, wherever but he can´t say no to a lullaby from his favorite Human

but if you do decide to sing one for him he will not let you go

and I´m not exaggerating he literally clung onto you for an entire day once because he refused to believe that not everybody sleeps as much as him

he might have also secretly set up a recorder so he can listen to your lullabies when you aren´t there with him

hope you´ll enjoy dragging Belphie anywhere because there is no way you can make him let go of you

for someone that only sleeps he´s very strong

Solomon:

the only reason he fell asleep is because you dragged him to bed the most important part being you

if it was somebody else he would have just sneaked out after the person left

he also really enjoyed the lullaby, he didn´t need it because having you in his arms was enough to let him sleep comfortably but it was very nice for him

was he also holding you when he woke up, toke a picture and sent it to the Brothers to make them jealous? Of course he did, he can´t let such a good opportunity go to waste :)

Barbatos:

you would think getting Barbatos to stop working would be the worst part but no even getting in bed was worse than anything you ever did

he just tried to throw you out of the way to continue with his work

he really doesn´t play around when there is someone stopping him from his duties

after you somehow managed to get him into bed you tried singing him a lullaby

it did not work, I mean he enjoyed it and he did stop trying to run away while you were singing but he still refused to fall asleep

anyway your last attempted was just you throwing yourself onto him and not getting up

this… did kinda work, I mean he still refused to sleep but at least he had somewhat of a rest

[oldworldghost]

Okay so here’s an idea, and under the cut because it is horny.

So basically you, the reader, are married to Venigni and have been for a few years or so. It’s a serious and committed relationship on both ends, but when Pinocchio arrives at the hotel he gradually starts developing a sort of crush on you both. It starts out very innocently at first, a growing affection that’s very hard to tell is actually there because of how reserved and quiet Pinocchio is already. At most you might here the sped up whir of gears and springs. You and Venigni have little chance to pick up on it, but if you do it’s likely you both treat it as what it is, an innocent crush that’s likely to go away sooner rather than later. It’s cute and, at this point, harmless, a response to his growing humanity and personhood.

But that changes one night. It’s on one of Pinocchios’ many nightly wanders around the hotel that he passes Venigni and yours room to overhear the the two of you having sex, and out of nothing but pure curiosity he opens the door a tiny bit and peeks in, eyes widening as he actually sees what’s happening. What was curiosity turns into a desire that results in Pinocchio watching the entire time, a dull ache in his crotch that isn’t fully formed yet. He leaves as soon as you and Venigni are done, but his feelings have changed from an innocent crush something more sexual, something that only grows the more and more this happens. Because if absolutely will happen again, Pinocchio ends up going out of his way to pass your room and/or find Venigni and yourself in an intimate position. And he does feel bad admittedly, there’s a feeling of guilt for the bad habit - especially because you’re both, you know, married - but Pinocchio also feels like the habit, while creepy, is harmless because he’s not actually hurting either of you (copium).

Pinocchios’ feelings end up being that of built-up and repressed lust and it absolutely affects how he actually acts around you both. He stares, blushes whenever you two touch each other or him, stands closer, and he starts asking for more help with things. Mechanical or not, just any excuse to get either of you to touch him or talk to him. And it this point you and Venigni definitely figure out that there’s something going on (and honestly you’ve probably put together that he’s a peeping Tom too let’s be real) and somehow the situation gets to the boiling point where - whether though Pinocchio asking himself or you/Venigni offering - Pinocchio ends up in bed with you both. And of course he has no idea what he’s doing, so you both offer to teach him right? But that teaching is really just - and hear me out - Venigni instructing Pinocchio on how to fuck you before he himself joins in. And you’re both teasing the fuck out of him for how eager and desperate he is and-

[https-dollnini]

ᴢʙ1 ᴀꜱ ꜱᴀɴʀɪᴏ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ

Summary: My thoughts on what sanrio characters zb1 would be based off of their personality

Author Note: Was feeling a little silly and thought this was a good idea (I'm also a fat sanrio fan so this is very self indulgent)

ᴋɪᴍ ᴊɪᴡᴏᴏɴɢ ᴀꜱ ᴋᴜʀᴏᴍɪ

both of them look tough on the outside but are secretly sweet on the inside

defo people that pretend they listen to hard rock and then cry themselves to sleep with a ballad instead

the most misunderstood :(

but that means their also the ones to always include people and would rather die than make someone feel left out

i feel like the reason why i felt like jiwoong and kuromi matched the most in my head is because of how enigmatic and mysterious their personalities are made out to be

but trust that my man is a true softie at heart

ᴢʜᴀɴɢ ʜᴀᴏ ᴀꜱ ᴍʏ ᴍᴇʟᴏᴅʏ

do you see how coquette this man is

this paring is literally why i made this whole post

defo see my melody as a kind and gentle person

with hao as mother, everything in my head just clicked

the most calm and collected out of all of zb1, but that's probably just because he's an introvert in a room full of extroverts

also think that they both have such a strong liking for cute and pink things

mans literally said his favorite colour is pink

this pairing can not be any more perfect than it already is

ꜱᴜɴɢ ʜᴀɴʙɪɴ ᴀꜱ ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋɪᴛᴛʏ

you can not convince me that hanbin isn't main character coded

this is his world and we're just living in it

both of them have so many friends its insane, and are defo more on the talkative side

also feel like both of them are very dramatic

like have you seen this man every single time something mildly suprising happens

hes shocked to the core, on the floor, disgusted, making the weirdest facial expressions known to man

ALSO LOOK AT HOW CUTE BOTH OF THEM ARE

i rest my case

ꜱᴇᴏᴋ ᴍᴀᴛᴛʜᴇᴡ ᴀꜱ ᴘᴏᴍᴘᴏᴍᴘᴜʀɪɴ

the embodiment of a puppy

both of them are very playful and energetic in the cutest way possible

like have you seen this mans natural aegyo

they also spread positivity absolutely everywhere they go

like its oozing out of them

i refuse to believe that matthew has ever cried because when you have a smile like that why would you ever do anything other than show it off????

can you tell i like his smile...

ᴋɪᴍ ᴛᴀᴇʀᴀᴇ ᴀꜱ ᴘᴇᴋᴋʟᴇ

i was seriously debating between whether putting him or yujin as cinnamoroll bcs in my head yujin kinda fit pochacco too

BUT then i remembered that pekkle. is. a. duck!?!?!?

that literally solved all my internal conflict

LOOK AT THEMMMMMMMM

both soft hearted to the core

also a little sassy but i think we expected that

i did a little research and apparently pekkle is really good at singing and dancing

literally so many similarities

matching them together is a canon moment in my life

ꜱʜᴇɴ Qᴜᴀɴʀᴜɪ ᴀꜱ ᴄʜᴏᴄᴏᴄᴀᴛ

honestly this is less about personality and more about appearance

chococat being a black cat is so perfect that i had absolutely no choice but to give it to ricky

AND YOU SEE THAT STRAWBERRY PHONE CASE IN THE PICTURE?!?!?

as a strawberry enthusiast i think that ricky would approve

moving on, i think he's a playful and funny character

defo looks cold at first but once you warm up to him you see how he pays attention to the little details

lovelicky fr

ᴋɪᴍ ɢʏᴜᴠɪɴ ᴀꜱ ᴋᴇʀᴏᴘᴘɪ

look at this man and tell me he's not keroppi coded

sososososo cheerful and bright

he's literally one of he main mood makers of the group

also very mischievous too

i mean look at him teasing ricky every 3 seconds or annoying yujin with his love

and maybe this is the inner delulu speaking but i also think he actually looks like keroppi?!?!?

someone pls agree with me or ill cry no i really will

ᴘᴀʀᴋ ɢᴜɴᴡᴏᴏᴋ ᴀꜱ ᴛᴜxᴇᴅᴏ ꜱᴀᴍ

ik this is kind of a weird one

but you need to understand the vision

i feel like theyre both HUGE nerds (in the best way possible)

like you know how gunwook always sprouts random facts, or goes into a rant about information that no normal person would know???

yeah. thats what i mean.

i also feel like they're both really laid back people that love to enjoy the moment they're in to the fullest

i will continue pushing this agenda until everyone is brainwashed to agree with me

ʜᴀɴ ʏᴜᴊɪɴ ᴀꜱ ᴄɪɴɴᴀᴍᴏʀᴏʟʟ

we all saw this coming

so baby

thats all i have to say

literally just shy little cuties trying to make their way through life the best they can

once they warm up to you though...

they genuinely can't shut up

will say the weirdest things at the weirdest times for absolutely no reason

but they get a free pass because LOOK AT THEM OML IM GONNA DIE

the way i can see yujin using the excuse "i'm just a boy"

he is, just a shy, cute, menace of a kid

[gellavonhamster]

u ship smoker and tashigi! 😭i luv them sm!! what is the most thing u like in them? And why u love them!?

Ok let's see, I can rarely put into words coherently why I ship one pairing or another, so I'm gonna freestyle here

I do remember telling @patron-saints when asked the same question that I like ships where both characters look in the same direction as much as they look at each other. I think this might be the thing I like about them the most - that both of them are people with a strong moral compass who try to do the right thing even if it goes against the rules, dedicated to pursuing actual justice not whatever passes for it for most other Marines. (I do wonder where they're gonna end up by the end of One Piece because I don't think that at this point the whole institution of the Marines can really be fixed). It's not an easy path, but they walk it together and they push each other to be better while at it. I love the moment in Punk Hazard where she literally yells at him that they should survive by any means whatsoever, even if it takes swallowing their pride, because they can't just throw away their lives - they have a duty to others:

And she's right! And he listens! And she's basically talking to him the way he talked to her in Alabasta when he urged her to become stronger, there's nothing nice about it but it works because that's how he operates and she knows it well by now. It also shows how more confident she's become and how they've grown used to working with each other - I don't think she would've dared to talk to him like that in Alabasta. And he, in turn, trusts her to carry on with their duty on her own and replace him as the leader if he doesn't come back...

...because she has become stronger and he knows that. (He's also protecting her here, and I think he also knows that appealing to her sense of duty would be more likely to make her not follow him into danger than insinuating she's not strong enough to face that danger with him. Because by now he also knows well how she operates). Not to make the same post again, but there's a similar moment in One Piece: Stampede, and it's, like. If I had a nickel for every time Tashigi wanted to follow Smoker into what might be a suicide mission and he had to force her to stay behind, I'd have two nickels, etc. So, battle couple but less in the sense of physically fighting back to back and more in the sense of fighting the same battle, working in tandem, guiding each other, and having each other's back. Or something.

Speaking of Punk Hazard, I don't think the bodyswap plot was done well with them. I think it was mostly an excuse to show Tashigi with her boobs out. But it did make my brain go brrrr because I started thinking about how he ought to apologize to her for being so careless with her body because poor girl must have caught a cold and probably developed a nicotine addiction, and imagining how that apology would go led me to ao3, and the rest is history (which included me writing my own take on the apology). Though I do think some seeds were sown in my mind way before that arc...

...for example, I feel like this panel in particular did something to my psyche.

Which brings us to the more headcanon-based and less serious part. I imagine their potential romance would grow to be a steady, solid thing based on partnership and trust (which is the kind of relationship I tend to ship because I'm boring like that <3), but it would start out extremely awkward. Because she's a sweet clumsy girl who tries hard to make people take her seriously and he's a gruff, rather rude guy who has a kind heart underneath that. Also, they're probably very much are not supposed to get into such kind of relationship considering that she's his subordinate. Potential for cute AND funny AND slightly angsty scenarios, for dancing around each other without knowing how to make the next step, whether to make the next step. Also for copious amounts of unresolved sexual tension... and what it would result in when it is finally resolved. And I like that for my ships.

(Also, lemme be shallow real quick: I think they're both hot, and even hotter together)

TL;DR I just think they're neat

[peach-fiz]

I actually didn't even bother watching the second season of Loki because of the cheap marketing and inconsistent storytelling.

It just felt like the plot was lifted off somewhere it would have made sense, and a character with a similar ego was replaced with Loki and goes through an arc that might have made sense for a blank slate character, but not someone who already has a backstory.

Loki doesn't even feel like Loki after three episodes in S1. The whole point of having a show like that just seems to be about the TVA and Sylvie.

Also the whole genderfluid thing. They 'confirmed' it in the promo and had a line in the script that went completely against anything they just said.

I knew at once that the writers, directors and other parts of production were really just pulling it in different directions and it would probably sound like a jazz trumpeter and a metal guitarist trying to improvise after knowing each other for 15 minutes.

I've been meaning to watch it just so I can have educated opinions on all of it but it's just,, so hard to get into. I definitely agree the marketing was cheap, they did with the 80s McDonald's like they did DB Cooper!Loki and made it centric to the advertising because McDonalds was also getting something out of it which is kinda ass seeing as realistically Loki Laufeyson would burn 6 of them down before he ate in one 😭

I personally don't like either of the major ships in the show but the forced Sylki shit in season 1 really got to me. Like not only did she completely replace him as the main character in HIS show, she's also a variant of him who he wants to make out with and overall it just reads as lazy writing and it's extremely disappointing that Mike Waldron has been put in charge of Multiverse of Madness and The Kang Dynasty since, due to the popularity of the Loki TV show. I was talking to my boyfriend about this last night but it kinda reminds me of the complaints people had ab the last Indiana Jones movie but opposite? Like everyone complained his best friend's daughter was gonna replace him bc she's a Mary Sue and she rlly isnt, she's more reminiscent of Marion in Raiders of the Lost Ark she just doesn't wanna fuck him. But the difference is Indy is a character who's majorly blank for little boys to project themselves onto. Which is great!! It works for those kind of movies, but they're not character development centric like the individual mcu movies tend to be. Loki is characterized in a way that he's drowning in identity issues and family problems and he experiences growth in every installment whether it be positive or negative. It doesn't make sense to take the formula of an Indidna Jones movie where he meets up with a woman who's typically a love interest and has her own issues that are only slightly touched on because that's not the focus, and they go do the plot.

Sylvie is not an Indy Girl, they straight up are trying to replace Loki with Sylvie. And you can tell the character wasn't supposed to have as much importance as she does in the show bc the character was worked on more after the actress they chose was buddies with a producer ( and this is no hate to the actress I'm sure she's delightful everything I've seen her in in terms of interviews has been lovely ).

I also absolutely agree they should've just made a tva mini series to introduce the tva rather than bringing back a dead character who soon will not make much sense anyway because Tom Hiddleston is getting older (and also he deserves to branch out in his career).

The genderfluid thing was a cash grab and it sucks ass, they just want money for acknowledging things already canon in the comics, same with confirming him as bisexual.

My boyfriend is actually writing a fic on ao3 called Find Me that's rlly good if you want Loki content that isn't related to the show.

(YES this is shameless promotion sshhhhshshsh) but fr the loki TV show makes me more confident in my screenwriting bc t h a t got put on disney plus. I'm also working on a Loki show rewrite in my spare time!!

[justmeinatree]

06 - Made Of Something New : Sweden

Summary : you meet niall in your hotel bar. and there’s an intense connection.

previous part /// jump to pt. 1

TW : smut, choking, pussy spanking, slight dom/sub dynamics, sub reader & sub niall, cheating (not on you, but none the less)

Word Count : 6.5k

Series Masterlist

A/N : i’m so sorry this is a few days later than promised !! this chapter is almost purely smut, i hope it makes up for it ✌️

GIF : @horansqueen

February 13 - Stockholm, Sweden

*ding

*ding *ding 

*ding

“fuck,” you mutter to yourself, reaching for your phone. 4 messages from niall. that was strange, you thought to yourself. he’d never been the one to message you first.

hey petal

this is probably weird, but i saw that you were in sweden

how long are you going to be there ?

actually, when do you finish work ? and do you have time to meet up before your flight ?

you read over his messages, smiling to yourself. you had no idea he was in sweden, last he had posted, he was in the uk. he had been there since christmas break actually.

hi niall, are you in the country ? i have a flight out on the 14th. i finish work in the afternoon, the day before. will you still be here by then ? - x

-

i’ll be there xx

that’s all you got. that, and later he had sent you a hotel name, telling you he’d confirm the room number once he got there.

and that’s where you find yourself now, walking down the long hallway to room 213. 

you didn’t know what it was exactly. whether it was niall reaching out first. whether it was the vagueness of his messages. whether it was just a weird vibe you were able to pick up from him. but something felt different this time.

it’s been just under 3 months since italy. honestly you had missed niall terribly. he had spent the last few months at home, the holidays and all that. and now that his tour is done, he’s back to writing. so all in all, your arrangement seems to work quite nicely when you’re both traveling. 

but when you’re the only one catching flights, and none of them are landing in the uk, the arrangement kind of sucks. it’s hard to meet up. you wonder if niall can feel that too. if he can feel the longing that’s been clawing at your chest. in the last 6 months, you’d only seen each other twice.

in theory, that should help with the pit in your stomach. the longer you go without each other, the more you get used to being apart. but that was the furthest thing from your reality at the moment. the longer you spend away from each other, the more sluggish you seem. 

you spent your time wondering if he was okay. you remember a sort of heaviness in niall last time. you hope the break over the holidays has put the pep back into him. in your opinion, he’s severely over worked. you could never imagine being on the road, working, for basically the entire year. you’d rather do your head in.

you find yourself knocking at the door, hearing a shuffling coming from the other side, as niall gets closer. then there’s a click, and the door is swinging open.

and well no, the break doesn’t seem to have done him any good. his eyes are somehow heavier, a slight gloom that didn’t seem to be there when you first met him.

“niall,” you murmur, smiling at him, as his arms quickly wind around your waist, pulling you into a hug, the door shutting behind you.

his face is quickly buried in your neck, breathing you in, arms squeezed tightly around you, “missed you so much, petal.”

you can hear the exhaustion in his voice. but in the last 30 seconds, you’ve also, thankfully, watched his shoulders relax, his body un-tensing. 

niall’s teeth grip lightly into the oh so familiar chain around your neck, pulling away from you slowly, letting the necklace fall against your chest. his fingers dart out, running over the tiny intricate flower, “wearing this for me ?”

“for you ?” you question, your eyebrows furrowing as you look at him. “i haven’t taken it off since you put it on me.”

niall’s breath catches in his throat, because really ? you can’t be serious. he hasn’t seen anyone, never take off a piece of jewelry. even his mam used to take her wedding ring off to shower. 

he squeezes his eyes shut, not able to let himself think too much on anything. he’ll just depress himself more, and this is supposed to be a happy weekend. he pulls you to him, his lips crashing against yours in a needy kiss. 

you wrap your arms around niall’s neck, getting on your tiptoes to reach better, kissing him back like your life depended on it. you were both relieved and saddened, seeing him. relieved because fuck, here he is. it’s been so fuckin long and here he is. but sad because you know he’s sad. you know something’s wrong. you want to help.

but that entire thought process seems to have disappeared in an instant as you felt his mouth on yours. he had a way of doing that for you. everything disappeared when you were with niall. you love it. and you can’t imagine how much more amazing that must feel for him. 

“want you, niall,” you whisper against his lips, one hand gripping into his hair. “please, v’missed you so much.”

niall groans, fingers digging hard into the swell of your ass, “haven’t even seen the room yet,” he hums, mouth still attached to yours.

“later,” you whine softly, hips rolling against his. “formalities later, want you.”

“needy today,” niall bites into your lip, his hands roaming down to your thighs, picking you up and heading towards the bed.

“mhmm,” you hum, pulling away from his mouth to look at him. “wanna feel you again. s’been way too long.”

niall nods, biting his lip, “i did good then ?” he asks, laying you down on the bed, crawling over you.

“what do you mean ?” you ask softly, hands reaching up to rub over his chest, feeling his muscles twitch under your touch.

“i um-“ niall closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. “i was in the uk this morning. i was so fuckin sick of waiting for us to be in the same city.”

he wasn’t planning on telling you that. this is not part of the agreement, he knows that. this is him being way more selfish than he has been. than he ever planned on being. but he needed you. he needed you so fucking badly, what else was he supposed to do ?

“wait, what ?” you look up at him, eyes locking on his to take this in, because is he really implying what you think he’s implying ? 

“i’m only in sweden for you,” he whispers. “please don’t be mad. i know this isn’t what we said we’d do. i just fuckin needed you, petal,” he adds quietly, his lips connecting with yours before you even have time to process what he said, let alone reply to it.

your head is swimming. how could you ever be mad ? someone flew out of their country to come see you for just one day ? fuck the agreement from vancouver, what is going on, that made him need to see you so badly ?

you manage to pull away from his attack on your mouth, cupping his cheek, “i could never be mad at you niall. i’m here for you, when you need me. within reason, obviously,” you giggle lightly. “do you wanna talk about what’s wrong ?”

he shakes his head, no, niall’s nose softly gliding against yours, “wanna feel you. remember what we said in italy, petal ?”

and fuck how could you forget. after niall had finished fucking you into oblivion on the counter, he sat with you, asking if the random turn of dominance, and roughness was okay. granted that’s usually a conversation for before, but he trusts that you’d tell him to stop. also trusts that you know he would stop, in a heartbeat, if anything wasn’t good for you.

but when you said that you loved it, actually had a bit of a pain kink, and bondage was your absolute favourite thing, niall’s mind started reeling. 

he admitted how good it felt, taking out his agressions, his sadness, his exhaustion. and well, you were more than happy to oblige.

you find yourself nodding, smiling at him, “would that feel good today ?”

“think so,” he groans, leaning back down to kiss your neck. one hand runs down your arm, gripping your hand and placing it above your head. “i’ve got that red sash again, can i use it ?” niall asks, slightly out of breath just thinking about you tied up for him again.

you whimper, hips bucking up into his, “please, loved it so much.”

“fuckin whimpering already,” niall groans, loving how deep into it you always seem to be, basking in the effect he has on you. “should have bought you dog tags instead of a rose.”

you bite your lip, blushing, unable to hold back the giggle, as niall jumps off the bed, going through his bag, coming back to you with the piece of satin fabric. he’s quick at getting your shirt off, your bra following along, both pieces of clothing piling up on the floor.

he gently takes both your hands, tying your first wrist tightly, but not enough to full on hurt, linking the satin through the headboard, tying up your other wrist just the same. “s’this okay ?” niall asks softly, leaving a series of soft kisses along your arm.

you give a tentative tug, a shot of warmth making your centre throb, as you feel the resistance of the fabric. “good,” you nod breathily, a look of pure bliss taking over your features.

“really weren’t kidding when you said you love being tied up, hmm ?” he asks, fingertips dancing over your skin, trailing over your chest, swiping over the swell of your breasts.

a shudder works its way through your body, feelings on overdrive from the moment you lost use of your hands. 

niall quickly shimmies you out of your pants and underwear, his eyes making contact with your bare cunt.

a groan works its way from deep in his throat, as his hands grip into your inner thighs, prying them open, to see you absolutely drenched.

his brain barely has time to catch up, before he’s laying flat on his stomach, mouth snogging your sopping pussy.

you moan loudly, hands tugging hard on the sash, legs automatically trying to close on his head, niall’s hands dug into your thighs incredibly hard to keep you open for him, “f-fuck ni- shit.”

“fuckin love your cunt so much,” he groans, mouth pressed against your folds, licking all over with no rhythm, so lost in you. “taste so fuckin good pup, best cunt ever,” he mumbles.

niall’s tongue quickly delves deep inside you, lapping at your inner walls, nose pressed up tight against your clit, devouring you as if he was never going to see you again. 

you were moaning loudly, your body on fire, hands tugging harder and harder against your restraints. your hips start bucking against his face, goosebumps erupting over your skin, head rolling back against the bed.

his tongue laps up at your clit, sucking it into his mouth, groaning around it. the vibration against your bundle of nerves, shot through your spine, an all encompassing warmth making its way down to your toes and out to your fingertips.

you could feel yourself dripping down to your bum, onto the mattress, surely mixed with a good amount of niall’s saliva. your brain felt foggy, the attack on your heat happening so quickly, you barely had time to catch up.

niall knew your orgasm was coming, could feel you throbbing over his tongue, so he switches over to quick flicks from your entrance to your clit, looking up as your body seizes up, your high ripping through you.

“fuck, fuck, niall,” you groan out, gasping for air, your legs trembling, as he doesn’t stop. “ni,” you whimper, your clit feeling incredibly sensitive.

he shakes his head, mouth still attached to your pussy, not giving you a break, “give me another one pup, c’mon,” he groans, his tongue delving right back into you. “taste so fuckin good, can’t stop. you’re so fuckin good,” he murmurs the last part, mouth sucking over your folds.

you were seeing stars, skin prickling, your wrists raw from all the tugging you’ve been doing. you were gasping for air, back arching off the bed, toes curling, as your face rolled to tuck itself into your arm. everything was on overdrive and your body wasn’t sure how to react.

but niall didn’t let up, kept sucking, licking, nipping, until he could feel another orgasm on the way. until he could feel you clenching around his tongue. “s’it, fuck, you can do it, puppy.”

you whine loudly, your second orgasm of the night washing over you, hips rising off the bed, niall’s mouth quick to follow you.

as you come down from your high, niall slows down with you, pecking softly against your outer lips and inner thighs. his hands take the opportunity to roam over your hips and thighs, hearing him murmur, “so good. such a fuckin good girl for me. so lucky to have you.”

he watches you catch your breath, getting up on his elbows to kiss over your tummy, “feeling good ?”

“mhmm,” you hum breathily. you were in a blissful post orgasm haze, your cunt throbbing, thoroughly enjoying all the soft pecks from niall’s lips, leaving a trail of sticky wetness he’s collected from your centre.

niall lifts himself a bit more, catching a glimpse of your sopping, abused pussy, biting his lip, as he now stares, absolutely mesmerized.

“let me just- let me clean you up,” he groans, his tongue taking one long stripe against your slit, collecting any bit of arousal.

the touch made your hips jump, shying away from him, already so overstimulated.

“mmh- dont,” niall moans, mouth following you as he laps up a few more long strokes. he can feel himself getting lost in you again, his fingers digging into your hips to keep you in place.

“niall,” you whimper, your body shaking, arms tugging impossibly harder to try and free your hands. your breath gets caught in your throat, eyes rolling back as you feel him dip a finger inside you.

“one more pup, please. can’t fuckin get enough,” he groans against you, a second finger joining the first. he’s quick to find the spongey spot inside you, fingertips rubbing hard, as your clit gets sucked harshly into his mouth, tongue flicking quickly.

you moan out loudly, your third orgasm creeping up on you faster than you could even see it coming. you’re sure you blacked out momentarily, the high so incredibly overwhelming.

niall pulls his fingers away, tongue taking one last languid stroke, pulling away from your abused cunt, reaching up to untie the sash, lips crashing onto yours.

your hands are quick to find their familiar spot in his hair, your body rolling into his, as you kiss him back just as needily.

“are you okay ?” he whispers quietly against your mouth, nose rubbing against yours.

“don’t think i could feel better right now,” you giggle breathily, one hand cupping his jaw, noticing the bruises in your wrists.

niall notices as well, taking your arms in his hands, trailing soft kisses over your bruised skin, “sure you’re okay ? fuck, that looks painful. m’sorry pet, was so lost in it, wasn’t thinking.”

“niall,” you coo, to get his attention. “m’fine. really. it doesn’t hurt that bad. i honestly feel fuckin amazing right now.”

he involuntarily rolls his hips into yours, groaning, as he suddenly realizes that he’s painfully hard, and still wearing all of his clothes.

his lips slot with yours again, tongue quick to enter your mouth, groaning again, needing some relief for himself. niall rolls over you, his knee pressing itself between your legs.

his mouth sucks some kisses down from your chin, following your jaw to your neck, “too spent for a good dicking ?”

you giggle breathily, humming, “never.”

“that’s my girl,” niall murmurs, pulling away from your neck to finally pull his shirt off.

your hands immediately place themselves on his skin, roaming over his chest and stomach, watching his muscles twitching under your touch. 

you’d missed him so much. it worried you. with every passing opportunity that you get to see him, you feel more complete. there was something about niall that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. 

since you met him, 9 months ago now, your friends had introduced you to some men that they assured were perfect for you. but the more you talked to them, the more you longed for an irish accent. the more you missed those deep blue eyes. the more you yearned for soft hands with calloused fingers to grip into your skin. the more you wished they were niall.

he had ruined you for anyone else, and a part of you was okay with that, but 3 months without him was absolute torture. it all seemed to really hit you when your hands properly collided with his skin. you’re not sure you want anyone else. ever.

your hands glide over him, fingers flicking over his nipples from time to time, watching him shuffle out of his pants and boxers. niall’s hands find yours, pulling you into a sitting position, lips pecking yours quickly. he keeps pulling you forward until your face is pressed down into the mattress towards the end of the bed, bum high in the air.

niall crawls on his knees until he’s behind you, hands gripping into your ass, eyes watching your cunt, “you’re still fuckin soaked.”

you bite your lip to hold down a moan, a bit embarrassed by the effect he has on you. how saying any little thing gets you completely riled up.

without being able to see, you feel the tip of niall’s cock, as he rubs himself through your slit, collecting your arousal.

you moan softly, relaxing into the mattress, his member slowly breaching your entrance. he rocks his hips slowly, small thrusts working himself in and out of you, until he’s fully settled.

you wiggle your hips slightly, his cock sitting deep inside you, your eyes fluttering shut at the fullness. his hands hold onto your hips tightly, pulling almost all the way out, thrusting back into you roughly.

the whimper gets caught in your throat, hands digging into the mattress below you, niall doing it again, and again.

the driving force of niall’s hips have him buzzing. his head tipped back on his shoulders, grunts and breathy moans leaving his red bitten lips, “cunt takes me so well. fuckin made for me weren’t you ? little pup made to take my cock. gotta see how good you look taking it.”

as the words leave his mouth, niall’s fingers wind themselves into your hair, tugging hard until your back is pressed to his chest, prick still buried deep inside you.

his arms quickly wind themselves around your body to hold you up, nose rubbing up against your shoulder to your neck, “open your eyes.”

you blink your eyes open, pupils falling on the mirror hanging above the dresser on the opposite wall from the bed. as soon as your eyes lock with your reflection, you bite into your lip, head lulling back onto niall’s shoulder.

“want you to look,” niall groans, his hand wrapping around your neck, giving a tentative squeeze, making your eyes snap open. “want you to see how fuckin beautiful you are when you take me.”

you whimper, a tremble running through your body as you struggle to keep your eyes open. niall’s cock was rutting against your sweet spot, your pussy already so overstimulated from your 3 previous orgasms.

your eyes start to close again, niall landing a hard smack right on your clit, “what did i fuckin say ?”

you moan loudly, eyes blinking open again, doing your best to watch. your staring at niall’s cock delving in and out of you, watching your arousal run down his cock to his balls, watching your legs start to tremble.

one of your hands winds its way back into niall’s hair, your face turning into his neck to kiss his skin, chest heaving for breath, looking to anchor yourself to him in some way.

but niall’s hand is quick to collide with your clit again, his other hand grasping your nipple, twisting it. a gasp leaves your chest, as your head lurches forward to look at your reflection again.

your entire body was trembling now, the heat in your stomach building incredibly fast, “niall,” you whimper, locking eyes with his through the mirror, “need to cum niall, please.”

“gonna fuckin watch ?” he asks, gently tapping against your clit, his thrusts getting harder and sloppier, his orgasm right around the corner as well.

“promise. fuck, promise. please can i cum ?” you whine, your cunt already starting to clench on him, struggling to hold back.

“cum for me,” niall grunts into your ear, as his hand winds its way around your throat again, squeezing tightly, your pussy gripping onto his prick like a vice.

your eyes are locked in the mirror, a wave of extra heat coursing through you, watching as your centre gushes onto the bed below. niall moans loudly, face tucked into your neck, his high hitting hard, “fuckin look at you. soaking my cock, christ, you’re such a good girl.”

you can feel how full you’re becoming as niall spurts ribbon after ribbon of hot cum. your entire body is a shaking mess, leaned heavily on him for support as you work at catching your breath. 

niall slowly pulls out of you, a whimper leaving your lips, as your cunt clenches on nothing, small dribble of cum leaking down your thighs. he helps you lay down comfortably on the bed, joining you in a cuddle.

“think i’ve said it before,” niall mutters, lips pressing over any bit of your skin he can reach. “but, that was seriously the best.”

you giggle, cuddling up into him more, “didn’t know getting my pussy spanked would become one of my favourite things.”

niall groans at that, his lips reaching yours in a seething kiss, “didn’t know i’d love doing it so much. fuck petal, you look so good taking it.”

“did it work ?” you ask quietly, mouth ghosting his, as your hands roam soothingly over his skin, the look of confusion on his features making you go on, “like, did it help ? to use me like that. do you feel better ?”

honestly, niall had completely forgotten everything that was tearing at his insides. he feels light, airy, bubbly even. no lingering trace of heaviness in his head, on his heart.

the only weight he feels at the moment is in his chest. and it’s not a bad one this time. it’s like the moment you realize you have something so good. so precious. and it feels like you’re the luckiest person on the planet to have found it. you’ll do everything in your power to protect it. to keep it safe. 

“you have no idea the kind of power you have over me,” he whispers, his hand cupping your jaw as he speaks. “you’re fuckin intoxicating to me. like the most powerful drug i’ve ever encountered. you somehow take every bad thing away from me, i feel like i owe you so much.”

you shake your head, hands massaging his shoulders, “listen to me,” you hum with conviction. “you dont ever owe me anything. i dont think you realize it, but you do it for me too. and knowing that i can make someone feel so good, is absolutely enough for me.”

“i’m honestly the luckiest lad on the planet. people should be fuckin throwing themselves at you,” he chuckles, shaking his head, as he takes a deep breath. “on that note,” he adds, “should probably clean you up yeah ? must be leaking so much. then maybe we can eat ? i’m starving.”

you laugh, nodding your head, as niall, your niall, the one you’ve known so well, steps away from you to rush over to the bathroom for a washcloth, cleaning you up, biting his lip as he sees the state of your abused cunt. he takes in the puffiness of your folds, swollen clit peaking out, as he shakes his head, “sure you’re okay ? feel like i must’ve hurt you so much.”

“stop,” you giggle, “i swear, m’fine. i like this remember.”

“i know, i know, you keep saying that. but this is really the first time i’ve ever done anything like this to anyone,” he coos. “never seen someone bruised up and so fuckin swollen after sex.”

“forget about it honey, i love the pain. lets take your mind off it, yeah ? have some dinner,” you suggest, sitting up and reaching for niall’s discarded shirt, slipping it on and nothing else. “since i haven’t seen this room yet, can you lead the way ?”

niall nods, hopping off the bed, pulling some pants on, hand resting on the small of your back, as he leads you through the suite. he shows you the bathroom, the small kitchen esque space, and the living room with a large couch, big fireplace next to the window that overlooks the city below you, completely lit up now that the sun has gone down.

you both share some amazing room service, niall lighting a fire, getting cozy with you on the couch as you both chat away.

he doesn’t tell you much about what’s been bothering him, but you can tell that he’s feeling so much better. it’s like you have the ability to liquify yourself and shoot through his veins like the best heroin this earth has to offer. it’s the first time you can really see how much you seem to be able to do for him.

so you dont pry, you dont want him to have to relive all of the things that were bothering him, especially now that he’s visibly, infinitely better. how could you let him fall back into the depths of despair. you dont think your cunt could handle another round of “make niall feel better” tonight.

eventually, the fire starts to run low, the late hours starting to make themselves known, as you both show signs of fatigue. your work day, niall’s day of travels to get here, really showing on your faces.

you both make your way back into the bedroom, cuddling up in bed, niall’s lips pecking over your head that’s tucked into him. “i’m so thankful for you. and everything you do for me. everything. seriously, petal, thank you.”

and that’s the last thing your brain registers before falling asleep.

niall woke up the next morning, your alarm blaring from the nightstand, a heavy weight in his chest. he feels you slip through his arms to shut your alarm off, flopping back down with a groan. he’s quick to wrap his arms around you again, head buried in your neck, his grip tight.

he couldn’t let you go. couldn’t fathom having you walk away so soon. his body literally ached. he was nauseous, holding back tears, taking deep breaths in an effort to calm himself, kissing along your neck as a form of distraction.

“can you delay your flight ?” you hear him murmur into your skin. the amount of pure desperation, sadness, gut wrenching pain you could hear seeping from his voice, made your chest tighten. you’d never heard him sound so broken.

your arms wrap themselves around him, head burying itself in his hair, cooing quietly, “are you okay honey ?”

you feel niall take a deep breath against your skin before speaking, “please, can you just- can you please stay one more day ?”

his arms have wound themselves tighter around you, unable to let you go. it’s always been hard to say goodbye, but for some reason, this time, is literally impossible. he doesn’t remember feeling this much pain in his chest, in a long time.

“i’ll call the airline,” you whisper, not able to leave him like this. you’ve known something’s been off about him. been able to feel it. it’s like a sixth sense you have with niall. 

and although he seemed to be feeling a lot better last night, after having the opportunity to let it all out, using your body. which you absolutely loved, he’s welcomed to anytime. but this morning, all the hard work you’d put in to make him feel better, was washed away by the sound of your alarm.

relief floods him immediately, his chest not feeling as tight, his lungs able to take the first proper breath since he was woken by the loud beep beep beep. the kisses along your neck become more intense, more fevered, in a way to thank you. his throat is still too constricted, now holding back happy, relief filled tears, he doesn’t think he could manage words just yet.

“but i need to leave tomorrow,” you explain quietly, not wanting to disappoint him too too badly, but still needing to be honest and realistic with him. “i have to be at work the next day.”

niall nods, pulling away from your neck to look at you, “just one more day. really need one more day.”

you nod in understanding, wiggling your way out of his arms to make your phone call to the airline.

as you crawl back to join him in bed, you get an idea, “hey ni, you know how being more rough and dominant with me, makes you feel better ?”

he hums, as he nods, looking at you questioningly, “cant possibly tell me you want more of that ? i fuckin wrecked your cunt last night, still feel a bit bad to be honest.”

“stop,” you chuckle, smacking his chest playfully, as you climb onto him to straddle his waist. “have you ever wondered if you like the pain too ? there’s nothing quite like it, in my opinion, to help release all that pent up shit.”

“you-“ niall stops himself, heart rate picking up, his cock semi interested at the mention. “you want to dominate me ?” he asks. “i’ve really never done anything like that.”

“wanna try ?” you smirk, leaning down to kiss over the shell of his ear, kitten licking to get him more worked up. 

your teeth grip into niall’s ear ring, giving a tug, making a deep groan work its way out of his chest. his back arches, eyes fluttering shut, as he grips into your left knee, dragging it up the bed, your dripping cunt properly exposed to him as his hips buck up. 

the angle makes his clothed cock slide through your folds, catching on your clit with every glide.

“you like it too,” you whisper against niall’s ear, a smirk present on your lips, shimmying him our of his pants.

“maybe i do” niall mumbles breathily, as your grip in his hair tightens incredibly, tugging hard at the roots.

he tries to stifle the tiny whimper in the back of his throat, but you catch it, the smirk on your lips growing wider. “you definitely do,” you answer him.

you notice his eyes rolling back, the air leaving his body, as the thought takes over his brain. he’s battling with himself. does he really want this ? there’s no one he’d rather try with.

“can you- fuck, um-“ niall trails off.

you watch him attentively, curious about what could have him so worked up. so shy to talk to you. that’s never really happened. he’s always made it very clear that you’re his safety, someone he totally trusts. 

“i’ve never done this petal, ever,” he murmurs again to try and explain his jumbled thoughts as his cock grows harder. “but-“ he sighs, “think it would feel good today. the pain.”

“fuck, niall, yeah ?” you ask, lifting yourself up, hips seated on his, his cock laying flat against your folds, neither of you moving as you talk through this.

“please,” he whispers, so much vulnerability visible in his eyes. 

“can i ask you something ?” you hum, eyes locked on his, needing to properly gauge his reaction.

“anything,” he nods, hands rubbing soothingly over your thighs and hips. 

“can i- can i leave marks ? if i’m supposed to hurt you,” you trail off. “nowhere obvious, but like,” you trail off again, not sure how to word what you want to ask. you are quite literally sitting on his cock, asking the full question feels wrong.

but niall knows what you’re asking and his eyes fill with incredible disappointment, anger, sadness, frustration. a single tear rolls its way down his cheek, before he blinks hard, willing the others away.

“can’t leave any marks,” he whispers, dread seeping through him. “fuck, tomorrow i’ll be-“ and now it’s his turn to cut himself off.

you know what he’s implying. tomorrow he’ll be in the presence of someone that’s seeing his body. right down to the intimate places.

niall’s hands leave your thighs for a moment to dig his palms into his eyes. he didn’t think he could be more on edge. especially not with you right there. you always take the edge away. 

but he’s angry. angry as fuck right now. because for the first time, he can’t take full advantage of being with you. the thing he needs from you today, for comfort, he can’t have. his safe space has been tainted for the first time since meeting you. and he’s not sure how to process that.

you notice the quick change in his demeanour, and every ounce of your being seems to crumble for him. this isn’t right, you think to yourself. you’re his safe space, you feel this incredible need to help him. there’s no way you’re letting him walk away from this without feeling infinitely better. 

it’s not something you’d ever tell him, but it feels so rewarding to see how good you can make him feel. like you’ve truly helped someone. you can’t leave him stranded now.

so you think quick on your feet, indexes and thumbs reaching out for his nipples, giving them a sharp twist.

to say niall was not expecting that would be an understatement. his hips instantly buck up hard, cock sliding deliciously over your clit. he moans out loud, hands flying to grip onto you, any part of you he can reach.

“fuuuuck,” he groans, taking in a deep breath, eyes blinking up at you, a silent question etched on his eyes.

“i was just asking you a question. i can give you pain without leaving any marks,” you smile at him, flicking one of his nipples.

there you are. his safe space. always making things better, without even trying. niall didn’t think it was possible to adore you anymore, but here you are. there is no one like you. he feels so blessed to have been able to meet you. he hopes fate had something to do with it. it’s way too much to be a random coincidence.

“you’re in charge, pup, m’all yours,” he hums breathily, hips rolling up into yours, his body visibly relaxing into the bed.

“mmh,” you groan, biting your lip, a shot of arousal bubbling out of your cunt. “have no idea how much i loved hearing that.”

you roll your hips, feeling niall’s cock glide between your folds, unable to hold out any longer. you grip at the base of his member, sitting yourself on his prick.

niall moans out loudly, back arching off the bed, as his cock settles deep inside you, fingers digging into the meat of your thighs. 

once seated, you completely stop moving your hips, fingertips lightly gliding over his stomach and chest. you can feel niall’s thighs trembling, his muscles jumping under your touch.

he tries to buck his hips, whining loudly, feeling absolutely tortured by your unmoving, fluttering cunt around him. 

niall gasps out loudly, as your nails rake hard down his torso, calculated enough to be rough without leaving a trace, “fuck, fuck, please pet, need ya to move.”

“thought i was in charge,” you hum, tutting at him, twisting his nipples between your fingers again.

he whimpers loudly, his body trembling, mind buzzing at the feel of your cunt, his cock begging for any form of movement. begging for anything.

“look who’s whimpering now,” you groan, hand wrapping around niall’s neck, hold tightening, as you cut the airflow to his brain.

niall’s hips immediately leave the bed, lifting you along with him, your knees now hovering in mid air. “please, fuck, please,” he gasps breathily, air leaving his lungs.

“f-fuck,” you moan, your head tipping back, slowly losing your composure. this was absolutely torturing you as well. as full as you felt, and as good as that feeling was, your body was starting to give in.

“swear to fuckin god, the minute you move, m’gonna cum,” niall groans, trying to breathe deeply, trying to hold himself together. he never imagined that letting go of the control would make him lose his mind quite this much.

“guess i gotta get there too then,” you smirk, your hand gliding down your body, fingers reaching your clit, working over your sensitive button.

you moan out instantly, your pussy fluttering more and more over niall’s member, the more you flick and rub. 

niall’s watching you attentively, taking shuddering breaths, as he’s working hard to hold himself together. he’s never ever been so close to the edge, without quite being able to get there.

“fuck, fuck ni, cum with me,” you groan, starting to bounce on him, both of you moaning out loudly.

niall sees stars, mind going blank, cumming harder than he ever remembers cumming. shooting hot spurts into you, filling you right up to the brim.

the look on his face, the loud pornographic moan, the extreme fullness his cum has provided, you lose yourself right along with him.

you watch over him as he catches his breath, hands gliding soothingly over your thighs, shaking his head, “never felt anything like that. fuck, petal, you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. thank you for spending valentines day with me.”

realization crashes over you. yesterday was the 13th. that makes today the 14th. the weight of that hits you hard. did he plan some of this ? you know he could not have faked the look on his face, or the sound of his voice, this morning. 

but still, he’d rather be here, with you, on a random trip to literally just be with you. what does his lady think ? where does she think he is this weekend ? he’d really rather spend it with you ?

you dont ask any of the questions on your mind. too caught up in a post orgasm haze, not wanting to make him think too much on it, as you really dont want to depress him again. 

this is fine, you blatantly lie to yourself. it’s fine. it’s gotta be fine.

Part 7

……

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

tags : @acesofspadess

[doodle17]

Could you maybe tell us what future Raz and Lilis relationship is like now?

*vibrating with excitement*

Putting this under a read more because it might be really long hemngh

So I'd decided to study their characters and how they interact a little more (mostly from the second game, but a little bit of the first too) and think about how their relationship would develop as they got older.

I came to the conclusion that I want to portray them as two people who have some level of affection for the other, but don't have time to focus on being sappy "boyfriend and girlfriend" because of work. The "fun" part their relationship ended waaaay back when they were 18-ish and went from Junior Agents to Official Psychonauts. It ain't exactly easy to go on dates and save the world at the same time y'know, and both of them have a lot of personal stuff going on.

Raz is almost always busy. Constantly filling out paperwork, running around in Sasha's lab, doing agent stuff, Circus stuff, the WHOLE shebang. Lili, is still trying to get over her dad's retirement, as the while thing still feels very surreal to her. Not to mention Hollis and her dad trying to push her to become the next Grand Head, much to her dismay. It's not very easy to have a social life with that much going on to be 100% honest.

Theres also taking their very different personalities into account. Lili's "Fuck around and find out" and Raz's sticking to a solid plan type of methods tend to clash quite often, and many newcomers have a hard time telling whether or not they're dating or competing with eachother.

Lili is probably the most complicated woman Raz has ever worked with, and while he finds it endearing he also finds it incredibly exhausting. Sometimes, It feels like she'll do the exact opposite of what he tells her just to get a reaction out of him, out of spite. But it's not like she can help it. She absolutely hates being told what to do, and one of her least favorite things about Raz is when he decides to become "Mr. Boss man" and order everyone around during missions. Despite all of- that- however, they do end up having very successful missions!... Most of the time.

There's also the pressure to keep up professional appearances for their fellow agents and new interns. One thing the both of them can agree on, is that they'll avoid showing any PDA in front of their coworkers. They still cringe thinking about how a little too comfortable they were as kids, and how almost EVERYONE in the Motherlobe knew about it. Luckily, most of those people are retired, quit or fired, and gives the two a better chance to be a little more professional with their relationship in front of the newcomers, because if they have to hear, "You guys are like the next Sasha and Milla!" One more time...

This isn't to say that things are always rough and gloomy for them. They still have a very special connection, and after knowing eachother for half of their lives, it's not like they're going to get rid of the other anytime soon. So might as well make the most of it, eh? She'll never admit it out loud, but there's really no other person Lili would rather be tied up and dangling over a pool of pyrokenetic sharks with than Raz (which has actually happened before btw) There's no way you won't catch them holding hands or sneaking a quick kiss at least once.

Anyways, to sum all of this shishkabable up best I can: They're WAY too close to be considered "just coworkers", but they also have way too much going on to focus on a serious relationship at this time.

Good on you if you managed to read my nonsensical ramblings all the way through! Take a prize from the prize bin you deserve it 👏 👏👏

[wraith-caller]

*rubs my little flea hands together* for that otp questions thing, 6, 16, 20, 22, 36, and 40 for d/rogier?

*puts u in my flea circus*

6. Who holds a grudge the longest?

Probably Darian. While it's hard to tell the truth of how Rogier feels about their falling-out since he is a known liar/hides from his emotions, Darian is clearly stewing over things still. However that being said, I think that while Rogier may appear to brush things off and is conflict averse, he doesn't necessarily forget. :)

16. Which one’s the first to help a stranger in need?

Hm...this is a tough one. While Rogier is friendly and polite, he's also more suspicious and cautious than Darian when we first meet each of them. Darian tries to warn us away from danger, while Rogier views us AS a potential source of danger until he's figured us out. So I lean towards Darian but I think, while together, they'd probably both pitch in since Rogier may be more at ease knowing someone has his back should things turn out badly.

20. Who’s more likely to get into a bar fight?

lol I feel obligated to say Rogier since I've written fic of him actually getting into a bar fight. I think he is the more volatile of the two, and given he has a sharp tongue when pressed, he might get a little loose-lipped and lose hold of his polite demeanor when inebriated. Darian is more steady, but I could see his blunt and honest nature getting him into trouble whether he means it or not.

22. Who gets more easily embarrassed?

Rogier!! He cares way more about how he's perceived/pleasing others. He's frequently apologetic over things no sane person would apologize for, and loaded with regret. Darian on the other hand just sorta is what he is, and doesn't hide much. That and while I'm sure it's caused him baggage to grow up reviled and shunned by the world, it also probably taught him to bury a lot of things related to being perceived the wrong way.

36. Who’s better at dealing with emotional trauma?

LOL this is a race in which there are no winners. It's clear Rogier is shit at it, given his detachment issues and how he immediately redirects all conversations about himself into something abstract or just makes light. Darian at least can talk about what's bothering him, even if he seems more like he stews in it rather than being able to move on. So he's probably a little better with emotional trauma in that he can actually articulate it and speak to someone about it.

40. Who’ll be the first to snap if someone makes a bad comment about the other person?

It's mostly pure headcanon but Darian. I just like the idea of him being protective of the people he cares about. He's used to people hating him so he doesn't react much and probably internalizes a lot of it, but I don't think he'd abide someone abusing others much. Again, Rogier's people pleasing nature would probably make him hesitant to stir up any conflict, but he'd snap eventually. I think his first instinct though would be to mollify the person making mean comments or diffuse the situation with something light hearted, whereas Darian doesn't really play these kinds of word games. He'd just tell them to shut up lol

[lnkedmyheart]

thoughts on the akutagawa and chuuya stage play scene? i've seen people say while it was harsh of chuuya to say, it was a reality/wake up call for akutagawa.

This is such a complicated thing to answer, because of everything that happens in da. It'll be a bit long.

If you ask me, I think its just how Chuuya is. He isn't this gentle calming presence people present him as, he's confrontational and rude and sucks at communication. As I keep saying about Dazai, Chuuya is a mentally unstable guy who has no concept of being open and vulnerable with people. He doesnt sit them down and talk to them. He is the aloof older brother who cares about you and tries but sort of sucks at pep talk so he just shoves you in the right direction but he'll be there to catch you if you fall. The softness people want from him? That's just not him.

In the da stageplay Chuuya tries to get Akutagawa to realise that Dazai is once again not the be all end all of his existence. That he doesnt need to fixate on getting his approval. The problem with Aku is that he has this idea of Dazai in his head and looks upto Dazai because he gave him and Gin a shot at life. Chuuya then tells Aku to go and kill Dazai because Dazai is directly involved with Shibusawa, note that Chuuya is well aware that Aku cannot actually kill him considering Aku's ability has seperated from him and Dazai is immune to the fog. Aku insists that that isnt true because Dazai wants to save the city not destroy it so clearly he cannot be working with the enemy. And then Chuuya laughs at him because Aku genuinely believes he knows Dazai better than Chuuya. I feel like the mission to kill Dazai is symbolic in that Aku needs to kill the desire to please Dazai, or atleast kill the idea of Dazai that he has in his head. Aku is putting Dazai on a pedestal, stripping him of all his faults. Except Chuuya (and the audience) knows that Dazai is infact involved with Shibusawa and was partly responsible for the events of da even if his end goal was good. Chuuya then tells Aku that he doesn't understand Dazai because there is a darkness inside Dazai that he refuses to see and is instead idealizing the guy as having flipped a switch and become a good person. (This darkness btw pops out whenever Dazai interacts with Aku even post defection since he is still cruel to him and instead of seeing this as a flaw in Dazai he sees it as his own personal failure). Finally Chuuya tells him that the reason Dazai probably doesn't acknowledge him is because he is just constantly running after Dazai to gain his approval and that he himself has never looked up to Dazai.

Again note that Aku knows that Dazai, despite their banter, acknowledges Chuuya as powerful and capable. Regardless of whether or not he is aware of the sheer intensity of their actual dynamic its kinda hard to act like people wouldn't have noticed how capable Dazai considers Chuuya. And Aku does look up to Chuuya as well.

And Chuuya then taunts him because Aku tries to attack Chuuya for mocking his obsession with Dazai. Aku then says he will fulfill the mission and promises to come after Chuuya next. He's finally been motivated to focus on himself instead of Dazai now. The thing here is that Chuuya is harsh. He is deliberately being harsh because Aku is so deep in his own head that he needs to be shaken up and needs reality to smack him in the face (think the dhc punch Dazai needed to snap out of his spiral). Dazai is not this perfect dude just because he left the mafia, Dazai's own demons (the darkness/monster within him) will always exist to a degree and that doesn't mean Dazai's mistreatment of Aku is due to a personal failure on Aku's end but rather a Dazai problem.

I think there is a general disconnect between Aku and Chuuya when it comes to Dazai. Chuuya usually doesnt make excuses for Dazai. He says it like it is. He knows Dazai is fully capable of doing good but he also acknowledges that Dazai has a darkness within him that sometimes guides him to do shit that is very much not okay. He doesn't see Dazai as a monster but he knows there is something messed up within him. Aku refuses to see that. Much like how Dazai refused to see the darkness within Oda and put him up on a pedestal.

I also think its important to consider that Chuuya doesn't actually want Aku to kill Dazai, its more just a symbolic speech and an attempt to get him to see sense, start acting like his own person rather than someone desperately seeking Dazai's attention. Especially cause Chuuya literally risks everything to save Dazai's life later.

And its just hilarious how people ignore the final part of their da stage play interaction. When Aku shows up where Chuuya is post fight he is still a bit pissy and its Chuuya who smiles and reaches out to him. And this time he is pretty gentle with him. Dazai has been saved, Yokohama is safe, Aku has proven his strength by focussing on himself, not Dazai, and getting back his ability.

Chuuya then jokes about how Aku still seems mad about Chuuya calling him weak and Aku pretends to brush it off. Chuuya then tells him that Aku was always a part of Dazai's plan against Shibusawa, aka Dazai relies on him and therefore does think him capable. When that doesnt do much he tells him that as Dazai's partner he knows Dazai approves of him despite not showing it. And even if Dazai didnt, Chuuya will always see him as capable.

Dazai and Chuuya are not opposites. They understand each other because they are that similar. Just because Dazai was a shitty and extremely harsh mentor doesn't mean Chuuya would be the ideal mom figure. Chuuya is also harsh and sucks at communicating and just as much of a mystery.

[imakemywings]

After the juicy "Celebrimbor not talking to any of his family" take, you've hit us with another equally juicy (but probably controversial lol) take of Russingon which is something I've been riding for a while now, @spiritofwhitefire spoke nothing but facts. Still, on a serious note (no offense, I really love that ship so much) the constant characterization of Fingon as blindy forgiving, and always siding with Maedhros (or like being desperate to be with him) was probably what made me sour a bit on Russingon. Fingon has other personalities and motivations besides being Maedhros' love interest or being his hype man but seriously, he's Fingolfin's son, and seeing how close and loyal Fingon was to Fingolfin, I am sure, he would be genuinely pissed at Maedhros. I can't imagine him instantly forgiving Mae or something, and even if he did, does his forgiveness mean something to Mae because, at the end of the day, Maedhros is still doggedly loyal to Feanor. Anyway, this is just me being fixated on your tags, "not wanting maedhros to die a miserable death at morgoth's hands doesn't necessarily equate to total instant and complete forgiveness, "honestly a huge fan of their friendship never fully recovering..." please tell me more. I love your headcanons.

I don't mean to be in opposition to so many popular fandom takes 😅I'm usually not this bad about that...

Sure, maybe Fingon is a saint who harbors no resentment...but I'm not particularly interested in that take. #1, Fingon is presumably made a kinslayer in Alqualonde for the sake of the Feanorians, whom he believed were under unjust assault, but who were, in fact, the aggressors. #2, Although Maedhros does not partake in the burning of the ships at Losgar (something it's implied Fingon learns eventually), neither did he make any effort to stop it, and that decision of the Feanorians' helped condemn the rest of the Noldor host to the Helcaraxe, where, among other things, Fingon's sister-in-law dies. I would say he certainly has grounds to be angry with Maedhros and furthermore, to distrust him going forward.

Not to say these specific things are entirely or even primarily Maedhros' fault...but I think it would be very hard not to be angry with a cousin/close friend who had helped to put you in these positions, particularly depending on how Maedhros handles the situation after their reunion (i.e. whether he apologizes or doubles down or tries to pretend nothing is wrong).

This definitely relates to my general feelings on Maedhros becoming the center of everything in this fandom but yes, the way Fingon orbits around him in so much fanon gets quite old. I'll be honest and say I don't ship Russingon even a tiny bit so it's doubly grating to see Fingon reduced to either Maedhros' hype man (if alive) or his angst-generator (if dead) and have that romance be cast as so core to everything Fingon (or Maedhros!) does. And I do think there can be plenty of crunchy drama even without the romance aspect (Anyone who's had a friendship go sour can probably attest to this).

But in terms of actual character motivation and reactions--I think it's just a lot more interesting if there are actual consequences to Maedhros' actions in terms of a relationship that was really important to him, rather than Fingon just completely forgiving Maedhros everything always so that there's no friction in the relationship.

For one, as I talked about here, their relationship already had problems before the rebellion of the Noldor. How bad things got between them in Tirion is really up to our interpretation, but it is very apparent things were not kosher between them even before Losgar happened, and before Alqualonde. I can't imagine that doesn't color later events between them.

For another, Fingon's motivations in seeking Maedhros out in Thangorodorim were political. They were also personal, but the first motivation mentioned in his decision to seek Maedhros as Melkor's prisoner is to reunite the Noldor. And as I mentioned in those tags, just because he didn't want Maedhros to die a miserable death or experience indefinite torment at Melkor's hands doesn't necessarily mean he forgave him, or even still considered him a friend. MOST of us would not want to see someone we know suffer Maedhros' fate, regardless of what they had done to us.

"Then Fingon the valiant, son of Fingolfin, resolved to heal the feud that divided the Noldor, before their Enemy should be ready for war...Fingon had been close in friendship with Maedhros...Therefore he dared a deed which is justly renowned among the feats of the princes of the Noldor." ("Of the Return of the Noldor")

If nothing else, I imagine their relationship was always complicated after this. To your point above, Maedhros is deeply committed to fulfilling the oath of his father, and as the Nolofinweans and Arafinweans were there when the Feanorians swore to deal death on anyone handling a Silmaril, they have to be aware of at least the possibility that that may cause trouble someday (I'm sure they did not anticipate the scale or severity).

So Fingolfin, Fingon's father, is king (thanks to Maedhros)...but Maedhros is loyal to his oath above all else. And Maedhros still holds considerable sway over the Feanorians (I would venture to say it's a common theory if not outright knowledge that, should push come to shove, the Feanorians will obey Maedhros, not Fingolfin). How does Fingon feel about that?

To me, these things, in addition to Maedhros' earlier behavior (being part of the initial kinslaying at Alqualonde, not trying to stop the burning of the swan ships) mean that Fingon can never fully trust Maedhros again. There will always be at least a sliver of doubt and mistrust there, wondering at Maedhros' ulterior motives, at his end-game plans. And I don't think Maedhros is very good at making this not the case because he is always trying to play 5-D chess, and he's not always sneaky about it.

That bit above about how the Feanorians are loyal to Maedhros over Fingolfin? I imagine that goes doubly when Fingon becomes high king. Whatever respect the sons of Feanor might have had for Fingolfin as their elder they almost certainly do not have for their young cousin. And I do love takes where Maedhros (successfully or unsuccessfully) sees Fingon as far more malleable than Fingolfin and is trying to manipulate him from behind the scenes. (Particularly if this interacts with any insecurities Fingon may have about his abilities as king--to think that even Maedhros sees him as a weak ruler/weaker than his father!)

I don't mean to suggest they were never close again after the rebellion (although you could perhaps make the case), but that there was never the same level of trust, ease, and companionship in that friendship that there had been before. Forever after, there was always political calculus involved, because of the kingship, because of the oath, because of Maedhros' refusal to disavow the actions of his family (Admittedly--we don't know what position he took on Alqualonde or Losgar afterwards; it's never stated or even implied, iirc. However, based on his response to Celegorm and Curufin's attempted coup against Finrod [nothing] and the attempted assault of Luthien [nothing] and attempted murder of Beren [nothing], I will extrapolate the headcanon that he was not keen to admit to either of the earlier instances as being a mistake.)

Anyway to me it's sooo tasty if they stayed (sort of) friends and yet there was this unspoken mistrust that was always there after that, perhaps alongside a kind of golden nostalgia for the "old days" of their friendship.

(Also juicy drama to me if Fingon becomes a lot closer with Finrod than he had been in Aman due to Helcaraxe trauma/responsibility bonding and Maedhros has to grind his teeth and live with the fact that Fingon trusts Finrod more than he trusts Maedhros now. And lots of love for fans who also explore Fingon's canonical friendship with Aegnor and Angrod! )

There's also the fact that Fingon bites the dust before the worst of Maedhros' actions. I simply cannot see Fingon justifying the assault on Doriath, or Sirion, or the kidnapping of Elrond and Elros, or the assault on Eonwe's Elven guard. Absolutely, there is grief in seeing someone you loved and valued become someone you cannot support, but I can never buy into post-Mandos takes where Fingon just handwaves everything Maedhros did after Fingon's death.

So yes, there it is. Maedhros and Fingon's political drama charged friendship fallout.

[feuqueerfire]

DFF Characters That Compel Me

Hard for me to say I like these characters but there are a few who I'm fascinated by and think about them often and apparently wanted to write a long post about it.

I'd love to hear if you have any characters that gave you brain rot and want to write about, especially because idk if most people have a favourite character in here? Or if they love the character? I'm curious to know how people interact with the characters in this show.

I'll talk about 3: New-Tan, Tee, and Fluke.

New-Tan

Of my top 3, the most obvious and popular one is New-Tan. I will always love a sibling bond in stories and what's better than sibling revenge? Especially delicious because New was a shit Phi to Non while they were living in the same house, didn't care about anything Non said or showed him, and probably did nothing to comfort Non when their parents looked at New more favourably. And yet, he gives up his entire self for Non: He gives up his scholarship and his education, he lies to his parents, and he constantly smokes drugs to get to see Non. He gives up his entire identity when he assumes the new role of Tan and becomes someone whose existence and purpose is to avenge Non. I liked the twist that it was actually New who was the driver behind the revenge, it felt so much more desperate. The revenge and killing also take so much patience and intelligence, whether it be the drugs or the traps or making Top the faux killer for a bit. In the end, he follows his brother's script and makes sure that they all die and nobody leaves that house.

I think a lot of love and support for New came from people's love and pity for Non because they wanted New to avenge Non. Non wasn't really a character that I felt much for, to be honest; like obviously his situation was sad but I never really thought about him when he wasn't on-screen, so I think my view of New is more about what doing all this means to New himself rather than what it means for Non.

I loved the ending for him too. As I said, he gave everything up and had nothing waiting for him out there, so it feels narratively fitting that he dies in that house with them. Before, New used to see Non tell him to take revenge and accuse him of abondoning him but here, he sees Non thank him for avenging him in his hallucinations. Then, he immediately thinks about using Uncle Dang and White as collateral, the innocents that he had to use and discard (the same way Non was), to gain that gratitude. Doesn't have much time to duel on it though because he's helpless again when he sees Non hang himself. I'm glad that the last thing New sees is Non emerging from the light to thank him before returning to the light.

Love him <3 Also look at his cute, mass-murdering face here (when Fluke shoots Top I think)

Seems like I have a lot to say, so I'll put Tee and Fluke under Read More.

Tee

In the earlier episodes, Tee was irritating as he and Top kept trying to destroy the footage, fucking ran off with the motorcycle, and were just being overall selfish and hiding things. In the past, I was softening up to Tee when we discovered that he, as a teenager, works doing shady shit for his uncle to buy meds for his father but he was still a POS.

I can't believe he covered for Top and made Non not only take the blame for it but also dragged him into the stupid gang mafia horse account shit with him. He brought Non into this world that had no way of escape, like if Non couldn't get the money, interest would continue accruing and he'd be trapped in the cycle while after he did get the money, Non was beaten and kidnapped. Non literally died in the stupid room.

Yet Tee claimed he didn't think that his uncle would truly kill Non or whatever, how stupid, how can you think that after you've worked under him? His naiveté confused me and I still wonder if it wasn't purposeful ignorance. If Tee convinces himself that he truly never guessed what could happen to Non, maybe he'll feel less guilt about what ended up happening. Selfish, selfish.

Tee felt so alone, even if he was in the group it's not like he could tell them about his side hustle (except fuckass Top). When he was consumed by guilt after Non's death, he still couldn't tell anybody what truly happened. He didn't have family to rely on, either. His scene with his father was so sad as he cried that his father was supposed to be the one taking care of him but his dad was laughing about how Tee has gray hairs now. Ah, sad.

Then, of course, he meets the only good thing in his life, White. He's such a bastard to White too, like getting his high school bf who is 2-years younger into pot lol (White was probably 15 there?), fucking leaving White to get on that bike with Top, and also his apparently uncontrollable jealousy. It seemed like such an over-the-top reaction when he reacts badly to White and Jin's acting scene in ep 1 and the fact that White's hallucination fear at the end involved Tee breaking up with him with accusations of being unfaithful? Bro, Tee, while White was brining light into your life, what the hell were you doing for White? And then of course the end, where he stabbed White... I don't even have words.

I like Tee but I'm influenced by Tee/White, sue me. I've been watching edits and been in a state of disarray because I'm so sad about this. Fucking fuck fuck. I watch series and sometimes I love a pairing and that manifests into me thinking up scenarios of them post-canon or in a missing scene in the show. Can't do that here, can I? Fuck, I was prepared for Tee to die. I needed Tee to die, I wanted him dead dead dead. I was not prepared for what the fuck they gave me, I can't believe Tee stabbed White.

Love him <3 selfish, lonely fucker who was trapped but dragged Non and White into his hell with him.

Also have this TeeWhite edit to White Ferrari by Frank Ocean. "You say we're taller in another dimension" is truly ending me fuck

Fluke

Personally, I haven't heard much discussion about Fluke but he was the first character who I got really into because we started to get to know his personality in the earlier eps while he was alone in the house with White and taking care of Por.

I got into watching shows/series through Squid Game lol and the character that most compelled me there was Sangwoo, truly another dickhead and although they're not the same at all, I still found some similarities, such as their career-related status (Sangwoo being an SNU-graduate with a great job unlike most others there and Fluke's obsession with having a clean record to become a doctor), throwing their weight around (tricking Ali and being mean/scary to White), and just their selfish tendencies in general.

Fluke was overly concerned with his reputation and didn't want the new kids to know what happened 3 years ago with Non, which is what I first picked up on about his character before we got to the flashbacks. It was so selfish; people were worried about a life-and-death situation, but Fluke could only think about his future ambitions. I remember being extremely baffled at the end of episode 4 (I believe) when he points the gun at Tee, tells the walkie-talkie to not come, and then DESTROYS it, severing their connection to the outside world and leaving them trapped with a murderer/ghost/whatever. Just so that they don't become murder suspects for Por's death? girl, I don't understand your plan but you were clearly blinded by your greed for the future.

I love seeing selfish, cowardly characters, and Fluke certainly is one. He witnessed such crucial wrongs and misdoings against Non (Top breaking the camera which started the whole damn thing and Non recording the video which broke the camel's back) but never once spoke up. He said he didn't want to become "like [Non]" meaning he was protecting his own hide by making sure there was someone more bullyable present so that they didn't turn on him. A coward and a dick. In the end, I found it fitting that he had to gouge his eyes out.

Fluke didn't ever stand up to his friends or oppose them, but his cowardly ass was ordering White around while they were alone. Also, the bravado with which he wielded the gun in the later episodes, even taking White hostage and shooting Top, but once somebody else like Tee or Phee had the gun, he was cowering, rolled into a ball with his knees to his chest. Ah, the different ways he behaves when he thinks he has the upper hand vs when he's at somebody else's mercy!

Love him, what a useless character <3 Also, if you ever need to tell your secret but don't want it to get out, just tell Fluke to get it off your chest, that man is never saying a damn thing (even if it would save someone's life).

Anyway, that's that I guess. So many words here and none of it new but I needed to write all these words out, they were haunting me.