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bigbrainkatrina · 10 months

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Say The Name

This is a sequel to my fic, Check the Name. But can be read as a standalone. Sans Ron, Kim is building a new Team Possible. She’s already recruited Drakken, now she has her eyes on Shego.

"You want me to WHAT?"

Kim sighs, wrapping her arms tightly around her chest to give her some warmth under the dark of the night, and eyes Shego with heaping amounts of intention. She speaks in a level tone.

"I want you to become a full time member of Team Possible. You won't get paid for any of your efforts, but none of us are and that's okay, because we're doing the right thing and the people's compensation can be better spent elsewhere. I want to you fight with us, operating off of programs and services that are solely engineered through donations and the good will of others. I want you to stand besides me day-in and day-out, sacrifice your free time by always being on-call so that you can respond to every disaster that need our assistance."

Kim gulps. Talking about mission stuff? That's easy. But personal stuff? She looks into Shego's emerald eyes and briefly considers the thing she actually wants to say to this snarky woman, this — person who despite all the murder attempts is actually quite charming. This funny lady who loves to tease Kim and never goes that hard on her. This quote-unquote enemy who's taught her an entire Bachelor's degree in survival skills. This person who is — ugh.

Family.

Kim said it to Drakken, and he told her that he always saw her as a daughter. He's part of Team Possible now, and that was surprisingly easy. So why is this so hard? Kim's mouth opens for the full load of pathos but it catches in her throat. Kim sees Shego's cold demeanor and blinks. Coughs to play off the weird lapse and returns to the herospeak. "In short: I want to save the world with you, Shego."

Shego blinks and rubs her eyes as if she just woke up from a colossal sleep.

"Ugh, Kimmie. Rhetorical. Yawn."

Kim bites her lip. She accounted for this. Obviously, Shego wouldn't take it seriously, and now she's marching over to the wall of Dementor's fortress. "Shego, please. You know we're legit. If you want to make a difference this is it. We're the most effective group there is out there."

Kim bites her lip for a second time. Actually draws a little smear of blood. Ever since Ron took off for his full-time gig with Global Justice, she's been tongue tied. Because her best friend and life partner is too busy to remember a Skype date. She doesn't hold it against him, it just means she talks to people a whole lot less than she used to.

Shego twists her head back and arches an eyebrow so high that Kim's surprised it doesn't shoot off her face and right to the tippity top of the wall Shego's about to scale up. But then again, Shego has always held expert control over her emotions. Just because Kim can't help but give every thought and feeling voice by letting them crawl onto her face doesn't mean everyone does.

Shego twirls her grapple hook in widening circles. "Since when did you start talking like an army recruiter? If I were you, I'd lay off established mercs like me and check out your high school campus."

Shego lobs the hook high, high into the air and it just makes target, crashing into a lip of the stone wall. Shego pulls on the rope and the hook doesn't move an inch. She cackles and returns to Kim. Rests a hand to her hip. "Or is that too soon for you?"

"Making fun of my age?" Kim deadpans. "Isn't that a little dry for you?"

"Yep," Shego shrugs, casually beginning her climb. "Don't really care. See, I have a big, spicy paycheck waiting for me and I don't want to be distracted from the hot vaca I'm scrounging from it."

Kim's a little relieved Shego's not looking; lets her release that anger into that eyebrow flicker. Shego would notice that after all. Since both women are intimately aware of each other's physicalities — no, not like that. They just know what to look for in the other, how to gauge their feelings. And if Shego looked back, she'd see that Kim's pretty hurt and even though Shego doesn't actually like being a big jerk (Kim and Ron's theory) and she'd say something humiliating.

Y'know, to add insult to injury. Kim's been feeling down for a while, so much so that she can't even call it a secret anymore.

So Kim makes the first dig. "I'm sure Big Daddy Brotherson gives you a lot of benefits. But more often than not, you're taking out dirty politicians and businessmen."

Shego freezes, knees wedged sideways into her gut, hair falling past her shoulders and aligning perpendicular to the ground she's now twenty feet above. Shego hesitates, but snorts off the decision and proceeds to scale the stone wall.

"Shego — " Kim groans, voice getting farther and farther away. "You don't need to be a super-villain with plasma strength to pick someone off from miles away. Please."

That one gets her.

Shego stops and runs her feet up the wall like she's going up a half-pipe, swiveling 180° so she can fully see the red head. She grabs her long raven locks and pushes them aside. "Sure, Princess. I miss the good old days. But this stuff pays, and besides — I've already saved the world once. I think I've done my time."

Shego hands there for a moment, body arched in a position that's surely uncomfortable. Kim has seconds to collect herself before this conversation is officially over.

"Shego, don't you dare try to convince me that what you're doing is good. You know what happens when you ice the CEO to a fast food chain? His son whose name probably ends in a Jr. inherits it."

Shego's eyes darken, but her mouth curls high. "Ice, Princess? You afraid to say the word kill? Or are you just upset that your stinkin' BF is doing that all the time?"

Kim's cheeks sting and she looks away.

"See," Shego drawls. "You can't even stomach that. Think about what working with me would be like. That's why I'm saying no."

"I don't think that's why you're saying no."

Shego blinks. Kim steps forward, awfully defiant. There's another weird lapse. This is the part where Kim is supposed to explain why Shego is saying no. It'll be emotional, maybe some tears, and finally these two estranged women will reconcile.

Kim mouths something indistinct then scratches the back of her head. In a low voice, she says, "Ron's not part of the team anymore. It's just me on the field and you know how everyone's been picking up the slack since Lowardia. I'm good but not that good. I might — erm — die out there and — that's not going to stop me but — a little muscle would be good."

Shego momentarily softens. She's never seen Kimmie put herself down like this. Not her best look, and certainly not the girl she used to go toe to toe with on the reg.

Also — Ron's the super-powered Big Kahuna now, huh? Super weird. She's still processing that one. Like, where's Jenna Wortham and Wesley Morris when you need them?

Shego dismisses Kim with a wave. "Nah sorry. Not convinced. Anyways, I gotta go and take care of these mutant petunias or whatever Dementor is using to take over the world this — "

"Which incidentally is my evil take over the word scheme!" a gruff voice barks through Kim's earpiece. Kim claps a hand to her face and cringes from the blown out speakers.

"Drew — " Kim swears under her breath but it's no use, Drakken's in full swing now.

"How dare he use my strategy and my smartest most refined geniusest brilliance to — "

Shego blinks. Leans as far down as she can without dropping off the wall. "...Drakken?!"

"Oh," Drakken mutters from the end of his line. "H-hello Shego."

"Yup," Shego shakes her head and finally throws her body back into proper posture for climbing. "Forget it, Princess."

Kim hoped that by the end of this conversation, she could stop clenching but now — the clenching persists. She watches Shego throw herself over the fortress wall and vanish, taking the grapple line with her. Not that Kim doesn't have one on her, but ya know — message received.

She turns on her heel and looks out at the rolling waves way down below. Even as high up as she is, little drips of seawater pelt at her face.

"Now what?" Drakken stutters.

"Plan B. I'm busting in. Not using Shego's route obviously because that'd be lame," Kim paces around the stone wall and looks for a different — better — opening.. "Hey Drew?"

"Yes, Kimberly Ann?"

"Remind me to not let you ever throw anyone a surprise birthday party."

=KP=

Despite the doom and gloom gray of Dementor's fortress, all Kim can see once she hits the arena is bright, vibrant turquoise. Turns out Dementor's mutant army of petunias are actually quite deadly, moving so fast that the green vines, no matter how thin, blur Kim's entire scope of vision. Paired with Shego's plasma bolts, it's a wonder Kim can make out anything. She doesn't want to admit it, but she's a little unnerved by it all.

Every big leagues villain retired shortly after the Lowardian Invasion. It wasn't a secret that folks, ally and enemy alike, had been scared stiff by the newly polished form of their archfoe's sidekick. No one, not even Kim, expected that from him. She still feels kind of bad about that. About doubting him. But then she reminds herself, for her own confidence, that Ron didn't earn the Mystical Monkey Power; he stumbled into it.

Kim worked herself down to the bone to get to where she is, but people are telling her she's not good enough. It's not Ron's fault. It's just — nauseating.

Meanwhile, while Kim and Ron warred through the bric-a-brac, they polished their blades and prepared for the real deal. But soon Ron moved into the Top Security Clearance world of Global Justice and it became apparent to all the mooks and rapscallions like Dementor and Monkey Fist (yes, Monty's back from the dead, it's a whole thing) that Agent Stoppable's not actually gunning for them, leaving Kim to deal with their vastly improved ilk.

Heck, not even Kim knows where Ron is today. Half the time, if not more, he's not allowed to tell her. The past few weeks, the former Dynamic Duo has been testing out the long distance gambit, but just as they found their groove in regards to frequency of texts and Skypes, Ron got bumped up another promotion and threw the whole thing off. Now it's radio silence. Either she's too overwhelmed by the escalating difficulty of her missions to consider texting Ron or he's too busy to remember they had a Skype date.

Beep-beep-de-beep!

Speak of the Devil….

"Don't you ever silence that thing?" Drakken rasps through Kim's radio.

"Uh, well the whole point of call me, beep me is the beeping part," Kim snarks, pulling her phone from the satchel tied tight around her waist. "Unlike you Drak, the texts I get are actually important."

Drakken curses under his breath; asking Kimberly Ann to organize his inbox the other day had been a mistake. After hours of sorting and deleting, all she did was sigh extraneously and say, "Drew, you should really consider unsubscribing from some of these newsletters. Like NaNoWriMo was almost a year ago, you obviously have no intentions on reading these Writers' Tips."

But that's not fair! Sure, he only got six thousand words in last NaNoWriMo, but that doesn't mean he'll never finish It Was a Tuesday! Why just the other day he wrote an experimental chapter about the time he used flashcards to remember his evil plots! And Kimberly knew that! Because she proofread it!

Heck, she even likes his writing! She's — ahem — the only one who does…. aaaaanyways, oh how she gets under his skin! Sometimes she's even worse than Shego! Words hurt you know.

But back to that incessant beep beep-de-beep. Kim crooks her elbow under her chest so that she can look at her phone in the tight air duct.

Ron [6:54PM] Awwwww, seriously? he's back from the dead. that's bananas!

Ron [6:55PM] that's a joke, feel free to use that on him

Ron [6:55PM] ya know for a guy who mutated himself into a monkey you'd think he'd be chiller about monkey jokes

Kim rolls her eyes and stuffs the phone away. Kim would happily use a Ron joke on Monkey Fist, but the two of them never quite had the rapport for linguistic ballet.

Yet despite everything, Ron could probably march in and tick Monkey Fist off like any internet troll worth their salt. Kim wonders what kind of gags Ron would go for. There's the obvious monkey jokes, but also now the zombie gags. Seeing how the old coot's risen from the dead and everything. It was Amy's doing, but Monty ditched her fast and partnered up with Dementor. Their plan has some kind of synergy between evil plants and ancient Monkey Tomes or whatever. Kim never really knows. She just sees it and punches it.

With the crazy media coverage lately, it makes sense that Monkey Fist's resurrection flew under the table, but it really is too bad that Ron can't waltz over and check it out. Maybe Kim should do some verbal sparring with the Brit for Ron's sake.

Ugh. Kim's not even here for Monkey Fist. Shego's got him on lock after all. Kim has to remember that and keep her eyes on the prize. She thinks it over. Using Ron's little joke might actually work for a strategy on how to win Shego over. Shoot. She should text Ron back before she forgets — no, she'll text after she gets Monty's reaction. That way Ron will text her back a few hours later with an emoji. Or a stinkin' el-oh-el if she's lucky.

Kim sighs in a way that would even make Eeyore concerned, and kicks open the vent. She rolls out of the steel and almost immediately regrets diving in.

It's like entering a warzone. Exhausting to track from above, on ground level her heart threatens to thump its way out of her chest. Because it's not turquoise — it's green and blue. Separate. She can't quite see Monkey Fist from here but he's surely putting up a fight, throwing out blasts that rival Shego's. The beams shimmer like flames, dancing erratically. Neither light lets up, blasting into the next beam, etching a matrix of death all around the room.

Just as Kim's about to stick her landing, a beam of blue comes out from under her. She holds back a scream and twists up, firing a grapple line back into her hidey-hole air duct, line going taut fast. She swings up, narrowly avoiding the blue but instead finds her back running against a column of green fire from Shego. She screams, but manages to hold on tight, and releases another grapple line, and swings through a safety gap in the blaze.

Kim throttles between the blasts, spiraling in the air, peeking through every gap to find something — anything — she can grapple onto, but just as she finds a straight fall to the floor there's a terrible screech that gnaws at her eardrums. One of Dementors petunias snaps up at her, bulb bigger than Kim's entire body.

Right Evil mutant plants. She totally forgot.

White teeth as long as Kim's arm, tightly knit into ugly rows along the maw, snap at her, splattering acid into the air. Kim's not fast enough and one particularly jagged tooth snags her foot and whips her through the air.

Gravity wants to throttle Kim down into the monster's gullet, but she preserves all the strength she's got and keeps herself held tall and poised no matter where the monsters whips her. At the peak of its swing, she pops one foot up and back down, crashing a boot into a tooth, knocking it free. Acid sprays from the gap in the mouth and Kim falls, slipping into the mouth. She grabs two teeth and kicks both feet into teeth opposite her, limbs searing from the momentous effort. But her weight makes short work of the creature, and it tumbles on down to the floor.

Just before it hits stone, she rolls out of the bloom and narrowly avoids a stream of green fire that the monster falls into, promptly burning down to ash. Kim finds her bearings fast, wiping sweat from her forehead. Her head hurts more than it should and she decides she's probably poisoned. She quickly radios to Drakken, asking him to scan her vitals while she works. Another petunia lashes at her, but Kim's ahead of this one and grabs the roof and floor of its mouth, cracking her arms far apart to keep the mouth splayed open. She pushes hard, already short sleeves rolling into her shoulders. She raises her feet and dropkicks the horrid beastie in the mouth and it bends under her.

Kim hits the floor at a roll and finally catches sight of Shego and playfully waves to her. Shego's eyes widen because seriously? Kim what the heck. Or fuck. What the fuck is more Shego's speed.

Ever since the Lowardians, big guns got drawn and people, including Shego apparently, like to think that means Kim isn't up to par anymore.

Well, not quite. Check the name.

Kim snaps back into action, somersaulting back, just as another rogue petunia dives at her. But she's got the leverage to launch herself above him, and she grabs its wiry stem like she's at the gym, twirling a full 360° before coming back down with a stomp that's the equivalent of crushing someone's windpipe. It whimpers before falling fully slack.

Two more come. She leaps and throws her legs into a full split, cracking one of the creature's maws wide enough to keep her safe. Meanwhile, her arms grab onto one of the other creature's teeth, yanking down on it like Quasimodo does every morning in Paris.

The tooth snaps free and the creatures roars, tumbling to the ground. Kim slips the jagged thing under her arm and twists her body like a pretzel, grabbing the petunia holding her by its tooth and — CRACK!

The first petunia thumps off the floor, and Kim lands between the slain beasties, stabbing both through the heads, grinning at Shego like a mischievous kid might.

"Princess, hey, you need to — "

"Hold that thought!"

Kim leaps into the air again, twirling like a helicopter, the twin teeth whirling around her and catching yet another petunia in both sides of its gaping mouth. But Kim doesn't stop there. She keeps spinning and the teeth cleave right through the jaw, decapitating the monster. Kim hits the ground, coated in plant mucus, but she's not quite through yet.

"Five o'clock!" Kim shouts and Shego ducks, one of the teeth launching over her head like a javelin and nailing the final petunia in the face. It bursts into acid and splatters across the floor.

Kim brushes the hair from her eyes and shoots another winning grin at Shego. But that grin quickly becomes a grimace as Kim is suddenly thankful for all the fencing classes she took. Bolts of blue fly at her. Kim swings the tooth up and down, deflecting the bolts as they just graze her. But the blue is too fast for any human, even her, and after ten volleys one bops the tooth from her hands, knocking it into the air and yards behind her.

A fist as big as her head materializes in the air and goes for broke, angled just right to pop her skull open. But Kim's got something else in mind.

"Wow, it's really bananas that you're back from the dead, Monty."

The flaming fist stops right before her face. Quickly, the blue light coagulates into a tangible form before her. Monkey Fist sweeps a scoop-shaped thumb across his long nose and sneers at her. He's evolved a bit since she last saw him. Hair is a bit more wild, muscles a bit more trained, and his eyes empty blue fire from his sockets. He's flanked by a blue aura, but it's nowhere near as crisp and clean as Ron's.

"What — did — you — say?" Monkey Fist hisses.

Kim bites her lip and tries not to giggle out of anxiety. "I — said — it's — bananas — that — "

"OOOOOOOOOOOH!" Monkey Fist whistles like a train, big honkin' feet stamping against the ground like a child's. The fire fades and Kim can see the long sloped lines of his distorted face. "That makes me so mad!"

But before the gentleman can throw a rather uncordial tantrum, one of Shego's plasma bolts knocks him upside the head and blasts him across the width of the entire room and into a wall, where stone bricks avalanche onto him in heaps.

When the dust fades, Kim sees Shego staring at her with the coldest expression the mercenary's ever flashed, fists rolled so tight that they shake, wedged into her hips.

"Bananas?! That's the best you had? You just risked your life to say Wow Monkey Fist, it's really bananas that you're back from the dead?!"

Kim frowns and scoops her phone out, quickly showing the screen to the green woman. "Ron told me to say it. Speaking of…." She dives back into the text thread to fire off a —

Kim [6:58PM] Good one. That really got him going.

— before emerald fire surrounds Kim from all over, crafting a tunnel leading out to the exit, archways burning all the way out. Before Kim can jump to Shego's side, a wall blisters the floor between them and separates the two.

"Out! Now!" Shego screams, flames so dense Kim can't even see her.

"Huh? No way!" Kim pouts. "This is my turf as much as it is yours!"

"No it's not! This is my gig, like I get a bounty for stopping them! You don't so stay out of it!"

Kim shuts her eyes and forces it from throat even though she really does not want to air this.

"Shego, stop yelling at me, please. Why can't we just be friends?"

That hangs in the air for a little longer than either is comfortable with. Kim's cheeks burn red and she continues, "Shego, I'm serious — I like you. Like really, really like you. You're funny and tough and smart and I always had fun sparring with you and I think it'd be good for the two of us if we started working together."

An imprint of Shego's body sinks into the wall, just enough for the grimace to set itself nice and strong. Though the neon light does make Kim's eyes water, so she tries not to look for too long.

"We were not sparring," Shego grunts. "Maybe you were — you've never been that responsible. You're lucky Doc's so dense or maybe we would have taken over the world."

The outline of the mouth moves but it's hard to say in which direction; but it's okay. You don't need nonverbal cues from Shego to get where she's at.

The flames flare towards the tunnel and Kim has to firmly plant her boots down to not be swayed. But she's bleeding from the toes because of the planets and that poison is doing god knows what to her body. She can't hold on much longer.

"I wouldn't resist if I were you," Shego taunts. "Could easily break a bone trying for the immovable object gambit."

"You wouldn't," Kim sneers. "They were spars. You've never tried to hurt me. But other people do. Every day. And if you don't want to be my friend, fine. But still join up. Some back-up would be great, or else Monty might whip me into a Kimmie Frappé."

Kim slips. One heel flies up and the other follows. She flails her arms but it's no good. She gets one last look at Shego before being throttled.

"Puh-lease, Princess. You don't need little ol' me, do you? I thought you could do anything!"

She's airborne and not even sure if Shego can hear her, and it's hard to talk with the wind blasting down her throat, choking her. But she says something because it's important. It comes out as a croak and Shego does hear it, two flares arch up just slightly at the words:

"You know that's not true anymore."

A bellow of air jams its way down her throat and another swing nails her in the nut. She flies back and somehow miraculously lands on her feet, just outside the fortress. Not from any effort of her own. She cracks her head up and watches the flames give way to ash and frowns. Shego is — powerful. It's a little unnerving.

Why is everyone just now deciding that they can outclass her?

Kim blinks back something that might be tears and grinds her knuckle against the dirt. "Dammit."

"Sorry to eavesdrop, but you know I can't resist the hot goss," Drakken says stoically through the earpiece. "You need a different approach, pathos won't work on Shego. Or at least — erm — words. Good at using them, not so much listening."

Kim finds the embarrassing tears and crushes them with the back of her glove, forearm rising to wipe off the sweat and goop. "I can do this right?"

"What? Recruit Shego or defeat the evil plant army that's MY idea and so poorly implemented by Demenz and —"

"Drew. Focus."

"Mm."

"I'm talking about Shego. Is it worth trying? I think I got poisoned earlier and I don't know if it's a good idea for me to…."

"You are poisoned. I didn't want to tell you because you were working, but…."

Kim's posture droops. "Great."

"Kimberly Ann, I hate to be a Negative Nancy but this is poor strategy. You're not going to impress Shego by beating people up. Nor will you words. Maybe, if you can get back in there before she — erm — after whatever it is that she does to her 'targets' — perhaps I can Dr. Phil for you two."

Kim raises an eyebrow. "Dr. Phil?"

"Don't tell me you don't know Dr. Phil!"

"Uh — tell me you don't still watch cable television."

"What? People don't watch — what do they watch then?"

"It's streaming platforms all the way, Doctor D."

=KP=

The next scene is just as much of a warzone as the left, but this time Kim's poisoned.

No blue lights this time at least, just plants. But more plants than ever. Vines and stems everywhere, wriggling and writhing with the occasional flash of plasma bleeding through. Kim can hear Dementor yucking up a storm about — something. She's not sure what could possibly be funny given that Shego is schooling his army of plants. Like yes, she's outnumbered but — oooooooh.

It's because resistance is futile. They're not just plants, they're infinite. Like a hydra. Whatever Dementor's doomsday machine is probably has the ability to respawn them lickity split. But Shego's more crash crash boom than nuance. She probably doesn't connect Dementor's laughter to anything other than a personality defect of his. That being he is very annoying, which is true.

Kim narrows her eyes and sees a massive, whirring machine in the back of the throne room. The stones have been stripped from the floor, giving the gadget ample amount of dirt and soil to work with, and if Kim squints, she can see small hints of green tailing under the metal panels. So that's her target.

No matter how depressed the idea makes her, she has to suck it up. Because she is Kim Possible and she actually can do anything. Long as she doesn't overthink things. So she strains her cheeks and forces that grin. It sort of helps. Just a tad.

Ron would want her to smile. She would too.

There's a creak from below and Kim peers down to see the furry head of Monkey Fist passively entering the room. He stands before the whirring mass of green and takes in a deep breath. Big fists start to glow blue and from where Shego's standing, there's no way she can see him. Too much overlap of color.

Meaning like it or not, it's showtime. Kim has to save Shego.

Kim drops down from above, ramming her hands into the back of Monkey Fist's neck, cracking his chin deep into his chest. While he hunches over, she rolls off his back and lands in a sprawled out Look at me! kind of position.

It's a move that yadda yadda won the cheerleaders oy old jokes, yeah?

"KIM POSSIBLE!" Monkey Fist shrieks with such volume that his jowls are set a-quiverin'. He pounds his chest and launches at her. His fists cut through the air, leaving behind burning trails of blue that linger for a few extra seconds before dissipating. Kim backsteps fast, just managing to avoid each swing. She's not stressed because she's smiling, and that jubiliance makes it all look easy.

"Quit monkeying around, Monty," Kim snarks. "I don't have all day."

Monkey Fist's forehead throbs with rage and it's a wonder he was ever even capable of tolerating Ron's loudmouth, considering how bad Kim's jokes are. Get a real punny buy in the room and Monkey Fist would probably have a heart attack. But it's 'kay, Kim'll settle for the undying rage. His fists pick up the pace and while the blue trails don't linger in the air as long now, the swaths of power glow darker.

Kim somersaults back to avoid one particular devastating swing, legs almost snapping out from under her upon landing. She opens her mouth for some other joke, she's actually not quite sure what she'll say yet and it ultimately doesn't matter because Monkey Fist's knuckle cleaves into her jaw. Her whole body shoots up like the bell in a strongman game, another fist coming from above, fist splintering into her eye.

She falls back, now brandishing an impressive shiner. "Nice trick," she spits a gob of blood to the floor. "But I don't think any of the audience members at the circus would laugh at it."

"Eh, that one's a stretch, methinks," Monkey Fist chortles, grabbing her by the scruff of the tunic and lifting her into the air. Things slow down, mostly from Shego's now divided attention; yes, she noticed. She stands as still as a statue, glowing hands only occasionally flying out to smack a rogue plant away.

"You won't harm another hair on her head, Monty," Shego growls.

"Ha, as the youth say: As if," Monkey Fist laughs and though one of his hands is still free, it's an invisible one that throttles by at the throat, knocking her whole body into the air. Her body weighs against the neck, stretching the tendons farther than they should ever go, bone preparing itself to crack. "You'll do nothing to me you welp."

Kim feels the blood rush to her head, but another crack! and the invisible hand whips her to the ground. She hits the ground. Hard. Rolls several feet, shoulder smashing against her collarbone.

Monkey Fist's big square teeth grind against each other. "Nobody makes a fool out of me."

Kim doesn't need to look to know that she's standing between Monty and the doomsday machine. All she needs is to let the show go on. She cranes her neck up even though doing so causes blistering pain. "Don't you mean make a monkey out of me?"

Kim doesn't even get to appreciate the villain's resulting beet red face because an all-consuming blast of blue masks everything. But she does feel a burning in each and every one of her joints, body shooting high into the air and arching into a spiral. She flies far and just as the white floor rushes up to crash into her nose — she feels something tight squeeze into her, body accordioning into itself from whiplash.

Shego slides a hand to the small of Kim's back and leans her up from the teeter totter angle and their noses briefly brush against each other before Kim gently falls onto the floor. A dome of green fire materializes around them, the burning embers overtaking what sounds like an argument rumbling between the two partnered villains —

"Monty, you almost scorched mein evil plant army! Careful!"

"But — but — she called me a monkey!"

— but no more after that, too much going on, like she's in a different room. "These powers are kinda new," Kim drawls.

Shego rolls her eyes. "It's not, I just didn't need to tap into this kind of power back in the old days. Now everyone's going nuts and — "

"You mean going ape," Kim sits back up. "I — "

"No, you're benched, Possible," Shego growls, eyes lingering on Kim's bruised eye longer than usual. "I cannot fight delusional powerhouses like these fools when I have to keep one eye on you to make sure you don't get clobbered. You're out of your league. Go back to babysitting, I don't know what else to tell you."

Kim tries to protest, but the words sputter out and don't mean anything. Not even worth transcribing.

"You are dying, Kim," Shego says without glancing over her shoulder. "We're never going to be friends. So give up. Move on. You're a great kid but — show's over. I'm not burying you."

Kim is too stunned for words, and squints away more tears when Shego dashes off right quick, passing through the flames like it's nothing. Kim's outstretched hand gently closes in on itself the arm retracts back to her torso. A dramatic gesture maybe intended to make her sudden loneliness feel a bit more valid, but instead she just feels feeble. But Kim is not feeble. She's anything but feeble, and she needs to get back in the ring ASAP.

Even if it kills her. But it won't.

With no time to waste, Kim crosses her fingers that Shego isn't actually trying that much harder, and rolls forward. The flames lick her from all over and — oh, so that's what a ten on the pain scale looks like. This is worse than Monty's magic, but is torture, literal torture. She can't think straight, can't process anything else. Her ears ring and when the cold air of the castle room crosses through her, she vaguely sees a yellow blob. It's — keening? Scared — eyes dilated to the extreme, uvula flying like a pendulum.

The green flames pass in front of her and the white hot numbness returns — she kicks Dementor upside the head and conks him out, throwing her body to the ground and rolling against the floor. It takes longer than she'd like but it does the work and kills the fire.

She checks on Shego, cringing and screaming from the pain bubbling all over, and finds Shego going toe-to-toe with Monkey Fist, while also dealing with — no — fending off — the plant monstrosities. Against either party, she'd fare fine, but these are two titans to reckon with. Kim checks the machine puppet mastering the whole plant army and it's definitely too big and too complicated to take out — unless….unless she turns back to Monkey Fist and cups her hands to her mouth and shouts —

"Hey Monty!"

Monkey Fist blinks and he lazily sucker punches Shego to the ground, briefly smiling at the blue light crackling between each of his hairy digits. When he looks up though, he is immediately flabbergasted. "KIM POSSIBLE?!"

"Geez Monty, are you new to this?" Shego rubs the golf-ball sized bump on her head. "Coming back from the dead is kind of her whole bag."

There's a bit of a sneer in that and Kim shrinks a little bit at Shego's glowering, but the green woman is quickly overcome by a renewed army of plants that tear out from the floor beneath her, shoving away the brick and mortar, to drag her deep into the soil. Monkey Fist laughs through his nose and stomps across the hall to Kim.

Kim could easily tick him off all the way from over here, but she's already kind of learned her lesson that maybe getting him to chipshot this isn't such a grand idea. Close-range all the way if we're talking Mystical Monkey Mayhem.

So Kim motions for him to come closer and throws on the appearance of a shout, but really it's a wide-mouthed whisper.

"Do you have any nieces?"

Monkey Fist blinks. "What? Erm. I — " he draws closer. "I didn't quite get that."

"Do you have any nieces?"

He blinks again and lifts a paw to his freakishly large ear, letting it guide him across the floor. "Kim Possible, please speak up. We are in the middle of battle, after all."

She repeats it. But quieter. "Do you have any nieces?"

He shakes his head. "Is this some sort of bit?" He growls and jumps onto all fours, prancing right on up to her, lifting himself back to his full height with fists wedged against his hips. "I am not in the mood for a bit."

"Not a bit," she shrugs, stepping backwards. He doesn't consciously think to follow her, but he does it anyways. "I was asking if you have any nieces."

"Hrm," Monkey Fist scratches his square chin. "Not by blood — though I suppose Bates had a kid a few years back, I suppose I could count their kin as my nephew."

Kim nods, and while she doesn't think her joke is actually that funny, she smiles so wide it hurts. Especially considering the pain. But this is what Kim Possible does. This is how she saves the world. She chuckles between words like a lovable stand-up. "Is your kin by chance — a monkey?"

"What?" Monkey Fist drapes a hand over his head to better itch his forehead. "I don't — understand — monkey?"

"Why you'd be a monkey's uncle then!"

If only there were a little monkey sidekick there to smash some cymbals together, that'd be great. But the joke lands anyways and Monkey Fist goes so red this time his aura actually twists into a sickly violet.

"OOOOOOOOOH!" he screams and lunges at her, waves of power emanating from his fists; this is strength he doesn't even know. Otherwise he wouldn't be getting so up close and personal about this. But his fists lash out like an excited kid playing whack-a-mole and it sets Kim at a fast enough pace that's she actually a little worried about running backwards so quickly.

One particularly devastating kick flies up like Charlie Brown screwing up and eating dirt instead of football, and Kim has to somersault back to avoid it. She lands on top of the doomsday machine with all four limbs splayed out, taking on the sort of stance that's more Ron's scene. Monkey Fist's kick lodges itself directly into the metal and sparks fly.

Kim laughs and quickly kicks off her boots, letting her bare feet hook toes around loose nuts and bolts to better hold her balance. She then looks straight down at Monkey Fist and giggles, "Well look at that! Monkey see, monkey do, huh?"

Monkey Fist screams and flips upwards, somersaulting up the metal after her. She flips back, landing on top of the machine just as Monkey Fist shoots over her, momentarily gripping the bricks in the wall so that he can better direct a dropkick onto her person. But no magical aura this time, just pure monkey.

Kim blanks.

She wants to make a cheerleading joke because those are honestly some stellar flips — and she's been thinking of replacing some people on Harvard's cheer team (yes, two months in and she's already captain). But she knows she should stick to monkey gags and then Monkey Fist's two bare feet slam her in the chest, big and wide enough to dig into her whole form and she falls clean off the machine and hits the ground.

Before she can even get up, Monkey Fist is before her. He lifts her by the front of her tunic and smashes her body up against the machine and flashes a smirk so gnarled that it fully exposes one of his deadly canines. "You thought you could fool me, Kim Possible?! Ha! You act as if I am a rank amateur! Perhaps if you were my hated arch-foe, Ron Stoppable, you'd be more clever with your jokes but I, I am an educated man who comes with wealth, prestige, and a Master's in Primatology from Oxford! You will never be smarter than me, nor will you ever be stronger."

Monkey Fist gives her the once over. Bleeding foot, black eyes, scratched up all over, crazy burns….but not quite enough for his tastes so he punches her in the face, almost hard enough to knock her loose, but his grip is too tight for that.

"Looks like I win!" he chortles.

Kim tries as hard as she can to resist the burn in her neck and looks up, though it appears like her head's balancing on a slinky. "What's your damage with Ron, Monty? It's like he's a chimp on your shoulder."

Monkey Fist blinks and grinds Kim deeper into the metal. "The boy is not a chip on my shoulder — for I am the all-powerful…."

"Ah," Kim crawls, sliding her hands up against her face. "Monkey see no pun, monkey hear no pun…."

"Wh-what?" Monkey Fist sputters. "Pun — what?"

Kim's face falls. "Hello? Chimp on your shoulder?"

Monkey Fist blinks. Ties together a few stray thoughts and screams at the top of his lungs, darting in for the kill but Kim's legs roll up into his stomach and swing up and over, smashing him against the machine. She hits the ground first and he stumbles after her, sparks beginning to spiral around him.

"You think you'll get me to destroy my own machine, Possible? Don't be ridiculous."

Monkey Fist draws closer. Kim checks for Shego to make sure she's hanging in there — and she's not. There's just too many monsters for her take on at once. Maybe she's still thrashing, but it's a dogpile to overcome.

Kim crouches down, mostly from her draining energy, and glares ahead. "Monty, do you know where Ron Stoppable is?"

Monkey Fist snorts, so Kim fills in the blanks. "He's taking down terrorists of whom you don't even know, of whom I don't even know, because my security clearance isn't that high. See, Ron only takes on the A-Level."

"Tsch," he flashes his canines again. "I am a solid A. They'll all see that soon."

Kim steadily backs away, bare heel sliding against the rim of stone. She stays there and Monkey Fist's big feet steadily sink into the soil, the sparks still alive. His whole frame quavers with raw power and she grins.

"No, they won't. Because you're B-Level. These guys Ron takes out? They're serious. They're organized. They don't throw temper tantrums at bad jokes."

Something in Monkey Fist stifles and she's knows it's getting to him. If even just a little. But this isn't enough so she keeps pushing.

"Well," he leans in as if balancing on a cane. "I have superpowers. Surely, that bumps me up. I'm just — insecure — is all."

"Mm," she bites her lip and widens her tance. Any second he might blast her. But he's not mature enough for that. "Yeah, it's the only thing keeping you from the D-List. You have powers. I do too. It's why I'm a B-Lister."

"You," he snorts. "You have powers?"

"Yes, it's called never giving up."

"I don't think that constitutes for much," the sparks redirect around him, slowly angling themselves to rip from his muscles where they have a better vantage point to obliterate the teenager. "I hit you one more time and you're out for good, Kim Possible. So choose your next words wisely."

"Okay — a promise then. I'm not gonna lay a finger on you and still take you out. You'll go to jail but don't worry Monty: I'm B-Squad, I don't stand a chance against you. So we won't fight, but you will lose, and when they haul you off, you're going to look me in the eye and despite all the power you've smacked me with, I'm going to smile."

"Oh," he mock shudders. "I'll make sure you don't smile."

"Tsch." Kim tries not to ler her eyes linger on the sparks licking the soil. She tries to brace herself for something incredibly painful. "You know I heard that monkeys can get time shaved off their sentences if they volunteer to be shot into space."

Monkey Fist roars (predictable) and the sparks flare up, slicing into the soil and with that — every single root protruding from the machine, all burned off in one fell swoop. Kim hears the terrible, inhuman death calls disturb and splinter her ears, each bulb crashing to the ground like a fallen tree. But the sparks swirl together and rush at Kim in a haze and even in her most peak physical condition — no mortal can withstand that.

But she can yadda yadda do anything whatever. You get it.

The blue light cascades at her and Monkey Fist cackles with laughter — that is until his sparks not only kill the plants, but travel up the stems like dynamite fuses, all the way back to the machine they spawned from and — well — ka-boom. An earth shattering ka-boom.

The machine blasts apart and the resulting explosion nails Monkey Fist in the back.

So it's the two of them that go soaring, one after the other. Kim, scorched to a crisp, hits the floor first. Monkey Fist lands besides her and despite all the Mystical Monkey Power resting in him, Kim is the one that's still conscious.

She can't hear a damned thing, but there's a white shadow with triangular dimensions hovering above her face, chastising her over….something obvious probably. Their voice is harsh but it's the touch that betrays them, the way her finger so gently scoops Kim's face upwards. Twin green lights plume in the air and Kim realizes that it's Shego.

"Hi," Kim rasps.

"Kimmie…" Shego stutters. She must have just said a lot and Kim almost feels sorry she missed it, but that intense Kimmie kinda collectivizes it all together pretty well.

"I know," Kim coughs. "But now you know you don't have to worry about me on the field."

Kim's limp wrist doesn't support that claim, nor her watering eyes. "But you don't really care about that right? You trust me enough. You're just scared of being my friend, right?"

It catches in Kim's throat when Shego lifts Kim up and slings her chin over her shoulder, face burying deep into Kim's shoulder.

"I'm not scared," Shego mutters, her voice like crystals. "I don't know how I feel."

Kim looks at her very seriously. "Shego — I'm sorry I was mean about you being a hit-man now. But you don't have to do that work. I don't know what damage you carry and you don't have to tell me but I want you to take this seriously. Please. Please please please. Work with me, Drakken, and Wade. We're not just going to save the world, we're going to have fun."

Shego's jaw lowers because she's obviously not used to someone asking her that. It dangles long before she finds something typical of her personality to use as a retort, but it's just not there, so she wipes her eyes. "I can't believe you committed that hard to the monkey bit. Honestly though, you peaked really early in. Like seriously Princess, it's called a tight-five for a second."

Kim laughs way harder than she should and it's embarrassing, but it's okay because it's been one of those missions.

A man in a blue coat click-clacks into the battlefield, notebook in hand. Green fire erupts in Shego's eyes and she shoves Kimie off. "What do you want, Doc?!"

"Oh, I," Drakken bites his lip and checks the room. "Good — good job here. Erm. I'm going to Dr. Phil for you two so you can get through this conundrum."

"Ew, Doc. Dr. Phil?" Shego raises an eyebrow.

Kim whispers in Shego's ear. "Drakken doesn't know about streaming platforms."

Shego's eyebrow goes even higher. "Not even Netflix?"

Drakken's dry lips find themselves suddenly incapable. He just stands there.

"Also read the room, Drew," Kim coughed. "Me and Shego made up. She's part of the team, and tonight we're gonna introduce you to online serialized television!"

"But I — "

"Do you have an account?" Shego asks Kim seriously, who shakes her head in response. "Well, since we're doing you a solid, Doctor D, you'll be paying the subscription fees."

"Sub-subscription?"

Kim grins. "Monthly."

He looks between the two of them. "Is it too late for me to change my vote to No, let's not invite Shego?"

Kim and Shego say it together. "Objection sustained."

#kim possbile fanfic #kim & drakken #kim & shego #monkey fist #professor dementor #kim shego and drakken friendfic #i used to have a reader who kept comparing my version of kim to his ex wife #and he really hated this fic I guess so it's probably really good

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sharperthewriter · 2 years

Text

Chapter 5 of the 16th Annual Kim Possible Fannies Awards

Chapter 5 – The Retirement Part, Part III

Gasps filled the room, and several guests rose to their feet in excitement for the moment. Cell phones all over were hurriedly grabbed to film, including Kim’s.

“Electronique, my snickerdoodle, my schatz…” Dementor reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring box. “Will you—”

“Noooo!” a bellowing cry rang out, startling the table of heroes. Many cameras turned to where a sobbing Hego now stood, his arm outstretched toward the couple at the stage. “Electronique, I love you!”

An even louder chorus of gasps was followed by silence, broken only by Ron and Wade leaning toward one another and whispering in drawn-out unison, “Awkweird...”

And then, all chaos broke loose.

“You stole my act!” the villain in red cried, leaping to his feet.

“Are you kidding me!? I’ve been trying to get into VILE since two-thousand one! Stop ruining my chance!” yelled the furious man in yellow.

“You’re dried out and crusty, old-timer!” retorted the other.

“Uhm, excuse me?” said Ron, waving to get their attention. “Who are you?”

The two answered in unison, trying to shout each other down.

“The Mustard Meister!”

“The Tomato Tyrant!”

Kim and Wade looked at each other blank-faced as the two condiment-themed villains began a fierce argument, while Sheila had stood up and was backing away from her brothers’ table in horror. Mego had taken a similar approach and was simply striding toward the exit, while the clearly intoxicated man in a blue suit and domino mask was stumblingly climbing atop the table. The Wegos were cackling and holding up their champagne glasses to him, egging it on.

“How dare you!” Dementor said shrilly, standing and raising his fists in anger. “Zis is my party! My moment!”

Hego had begun singing a horribly out of tune rendition of “Longer” by Dan Fogelberg atop the table, while Electronique backed against the stage in shock.

Laughter rang out as numerous cell phones switched between filming between Hego, Electronique, and Dementor, but a moment later attention was drawn back to the feud between the condiment villains as the Mustard Meister shrilly shouted, “You pipsqueak!”

Before anyone could react, he had shoved the Tomato Tyrant’s face into his plate of moussaka. The younger villain’s response was to flail wildly until his hand found the skewer of a gyro, which he then began swiping at his opponent like a sword.

“All right! Food fight, seriously!” shouted Motor Ed from somewhere on the villains’ side.

“Eddie? When did he get here?” asked Drew, but his only answer was to be fiercely grabbed by Sheila and pulled away from the action as Motor Ed threw a bowl of orzo at no one in particular. Kim, Ron, and Wade ducked under their table to hide—just in time, as the Tomato Tyrant retaliated on his rival by firing a ketchup gun, the contents of which hit many of the guests and made it even as far as the Global Justice table.

Ron recoiled when the ketchup hit the tablecloth that protected them, and then looked to Kim.

“Well…I’m not sure what else we should have expected, at a villain party,” said Kim after a moment.

“Should we make a break for it when the condiments stop flying?” Wade asked.

“No,” Kim said, shaking her head. “I want to make sure Dementor is really retiring. But…”

A plate shattered on the floor next to their table, and food-covered shards slid into their hiding place.

“…Wait until things calm down a bit?” Wade asked.

“Knowing this crowd, that might take a while…” Ron mused.

Rufus inspected the bits of food on the plate, stealing a piece of olive as the other three sighed and sat back to wait out the chaos.

“Zhis is my party you…you kotzbrockens!” Dementor wailed, his hands in fists above his head and his voice rasping in rage.

Hego had stumbled off the table, having slipped on a salad bowl, and red-faced and bleary eyed was still singing as he stumbled his way toward a furious Electronique.

“It was only a fling!” the Czech woman cried angrily, near tears from the embarrassment.

Dementor gasped. “Liebling, you were unfaithful to me!?”

Food continued to fly around the room, with some villains participating in fun and others in angry retaliation as they hadn’t been quick enough to escape as Kim, Ron, and Wade had. The trio couldn’t help themselves but to peer out at the sound of Electronique’s shrill scream as Hego reached the stage and it appeared he and Dementor may come to blows. The Mustard Meister was presently trying to choke the Tomato Tyrant with his cape, and Motor Ed was trailing after Duff Killigan who was mounting a table near his own.

“Seriously dude, that’s crossing a line. It’s just a party, seriously!”

“I dinna care!” Duff said angrily as he teed up and took aim with his nine iron. The eyes of the trio of heroes hiding beneath the table moved in slow unison, following Duff’s aim, to where DNAmy had dipped Monkey Fist low and the pair were engaged in a passionate locking of lips.

“Dude, we don’t want to get arrested!” Motor Ed pleaded again.

“Fore!” Duff shouted loudly, getting the attention of nearly all in the room.

Kim was already moving, her skirts lifted as she ran toward the intoxicated and unaware pair of villains. The exploding golf ball was struck and flew toward its target, but Kim grabbed a serving tray from a table as she ran and threw it just in time to intercept the golf ball’s path. The small object collided with the tray instead of its potential victims and exploded in mid-air, further gaining the attention of the partygoers.

“Lassie, stay out of this! These are matters of the heart!” said Duff angrily.

He swung at another ball, but his aim was off as Kim raced toward him. The ball sailed toward the stage, where Dementor and Electronique stepped out of the way as an oblivious Hego slowly turned, wondering what had so startled the other two. The golf ball whizzed just past his head and struck the back wall, raining another shower of sparks down.

Kim kicked Duff’s club out of his hands and glared at him, knowing she couldn’t engage in a full-on fight given the setting. To her surprise, the Scotsman simply grit his teeth and looked helplessly past her to where Amy was having her way with Fist. It was less than a minute of action, but it had been enough for the sparks from the explosion to light some of the tapestry décor and the tablecloths on fire.

“Ahhh me and Rufus can help!” Ron said frantically as he and Wade scrambled out from under the table. Ron poured a glass of champagne on one small cinder, which only caused it to flare. “Yahhhh!” he cried, jumping back, Rufus clinging to his shoulder.

Kim had turned and crossed the room to the Mustard Meister, where she detached his cape from his costume and pulled it out of his hands in a flourish, to the relief of the gasping Tomato Tyrant.

“You two need to spend some time on separate shelves of the fridge,” she said with a frown.

“Ahhh Kim! Fire!” Ron shouted, now batting at a rather substantial flame with his dinner napkin.

Several of the other guests had started to do the same, the food fight mostly forgotten with the new and greater concern. Kim spun around and saw the flames starting to catch in seemingly every direction. Killigan was on his knees in front of Fist, holding one of his hands and pleading as Amy tried and failed to drag her drunken conquest away. Hego had tripped and fallen on his rear trying to put out the fire on the stage. Dementor himself was screaming in an incoherent rage, ranting in both German and English and stomping around at the front of the stage.

Before Kim could even think what to do next, suddenly the emergency sprinklers came on overhead. All activity in the room ceased amid groans as everyone, hero and villain alike, were drenched, and the small fires were put out. Kim looked over to the far exit where Sheila stood with a smirk, her hand on the fire alarm, and Drew next to her who merely gaped.

As her gown was drenched and as many of the other women in attendance began complaining over the ruin of their attire, Kim walked confidently up to Sheila and Drew, who were of course the only ones safe from the deluge.

“Good thinking, you two!” Kim said as she brushed her wet hair from her eyes and stepped into the dry space along the wall.

“Look, I just wanted to shut Hego up,” Sheila said, looking uncomfortable.

Ron and Wade had approached the trio, their tuxedos dripping, and together the group surveyed the room.

The fires were out. Dementor and Electronique now seemed to be yelling at each other as Hego stood nearby sobbing and trying to interject. The Mustard Meister and Tomato Tyrant were still screaming at each other, though no one was paying them any mind due to the sprinklers still showering everyone with water. And after a quick glance around, they finally spotted Duff Killigan slipping through puddles and fallen food items on his way to the door, carrying a semi-conscious Monkey Fist over his shoulder with DNAmy attempting to follow, albeit slower. Nearly everyone else in the room were groaning over the state of their clothes, except for Motor Ed who was approaching their group.

“Dude, ‘Cous, way to take control, seriously,” Ed said, slapping Drew on the back.

The group cringed as Motor Ed shook out his mullet like a dog and then surveyed all of them before his eyes settled on Kim.

“Whoa, Red, that’s a good look for you,” he said with a grin, looking her up and down in her drenched and now rather revealing gown.

“Hey!” was the response Ron mustered as he stepped between them, blocking Ed’s view of Kim.

“I didn’t even want to come,” Drew grumbled, but as his eyes drifted to the stage he began to perk up.

It appeared as though Dementor, Electronique, and Hego would all come to blows soon if something wasn’t done. Drew’s sour expression began to brighten as he realized that his former-rival’s party had been ruined. He turned quickly to Sheila, but she was already grinning knowingly.

Kim eyed the pair suspiciously, wondering if they could have somehow planned any of it. But as a shout from Dementor heralded the beginning of the fight, she rushed away to try to stop it.

Motor Ed looked after Kim with a low whistle, but when he saw a blue shimmering begin across Ron’s skin he gave an innocent gesture and stepped closer to Drew.

Drew cleared his throat and gave a shout. “Hector!”

Elsewhere in the room, a slim man in a tux startled and looked around until he made eye contact with his boss.

“Clean this mess up!”

#kim possible #fanfiction #16KPFA #chapter 5 #drakken x shego #drakgo #drakken #shego #motor ed #electronique #professor dementor #hego #dnamy #monkey fist

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