#project: for the birds

[d3mon-ology]

𝑭𝑶𝑹 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑩𝑰𝑹𝑫𝑺 — an introduction

We do not judge this Birdie because she does not know any better, as we all have experienced.  We do not judge this Birdie because she is remembering.  We do not judge this Birdie because the world is ending.  We do not judge this Birdie because she is changing.

GENRE — coming-of-age, campy queer horror and 20th century historical fiction.

THEMES — queer identity, consumption as it pertains to love, late-stage capitalism, and desire, queer longing, and cannibalism as metaphor

WARNINGS — graphic imagery, death, drug use, and depictions of mental illness (including suicidal ideation). This project also heavily deals with homophobia and transphobia and the depictions included may be triggering for some readers.

POV — a shifting perspective ranging from scenes told in the first person to ones with an omniscient third person

INSPIRATIONS — susan sontag's notes on camp, 1980s/90s LGBTQ+ history, punk subbaculture, spike lee's do the right thing, reality bites, car button cloth by the lemonheads, luc guadanino's bones and all.

STATUS — first part has been written, though in need of a rework; focusing on developing the characters and themes.

𝚂 𝚈 𝙽 𝙾 𝙿 𝚂 𝙸 𝚂 —

Birdie Gish-Sato wakes up in 2023 with the fuzzy logic that she ate someone and a bullet in her mouth. In 1993, she runs into trouble with the law on the night of her band Toilet Bowl's third night on tour. Feeling as though the world is ending quietly, 2023 Birdie goes about her day as normal as she pieces together who she ate. An omniscient and mysterious set of voices known as The Birds navigates us between the thirty years that separate these twin tales. They will show us who Birdie ate, why, and ultimately explores what gnaws at everyone's bile and stomach acid and causes them to want to eat.

𝙲 𝙰 𝚂 𝚃 —

BIRDIE GISH-SATO — portrayed by miki berenyi of lush. A fire-engine haired phoenix of the 1990s. A drummer in a shitty band called Toilet Bowl, the best McDonald's Employee of the Month, proud member of the NYC queer scene, and overall asshole.

SANTO GALLITO — portrayed by benicio del toro. Forty-six miles from the last rest stop, SANTO cries in the bathroom. He has a wooden key in hand as he sniffles on the toilet seat. He's left home to be a man, to make something of himself, and to finally find some peace of mind. Set in 1993 or 2023, Santo is a trans Puerto Riccan living in Detroit, working at Kroger in the metro area as a cashier.

RONNIE VOLKOV — portrayed by angelina jolie. A hell-raiser who makes goosebumps as she walks past, VERONIKA VOLKOV has been a prima ballerina, a murderer, an addict, and a (aspiring) rockstar. She chose RONNIE as a name when she turned twenty-one and manifested her destiny much the way her mother did when they first came to America.

JUPITER TUCKIR — portrayed by al pacino. JUPITER TUCKER is a scoundrel garbage man, former muse, former artist, failed gifted child, and failed lawyer. He has just robbed a grocery store, is coming off a manic episode, and drove his mother's truck off the side of a cliff.

JOSIE ABERNATHY — portrayed by drew barrymore. A sweet young thing and shift lead at the McDonald's Birdie works at. In 2023, she's an it-girl influencer who reads fanfiction at the drive-thru window, and in 1993, she's in over her head, a smidge addicted to cocaine, and trying to 'get her shit together.' In either plot line, Birdie loves her.

𝙰 𝙴 𝚂 𝚃 𝙷 𝙴 𝚃 𝙸 𝙲 𝚂 —

A WIP by @d3mon-ology. Leave a comment or an ask if you'd like to be added to the tagging list.

[winter-mornings]

Project Blue Bird

[aveloka-draws]

According to Tzinn, things happen that can give the lamb some sort of high or overwhelm them. What causes either of these to happen?

[onichophora]

Oh god. My Tūī has learned some new sounds.

This Tūī that occupies the territory that includes my garden, I'm guessing he? I'm guessing young?, this is based on the over-the-top, huffy, aggro, drama he projects. He'll whip through the area like an angry, loud, and musical, little whirlwind, as ostentatiously as he can.

The "If nobody has my presence in the vicinity firmly in the front of their mind, if they aren't absolutely thinking about me, am I really holding my territory?" kinda attitude.

If I am in my garden doing my stuff, which sometimes includes putting a little bit of fruit out (for everybody actually), or refreshing the bath (again this is common property, everyone gets to have this), or pulling weeds, or any of the other dumb human things, and this guy comes along, he'll sit up in the peach tree, or on the dead pittosporum, or on the guttering, someplace high anyway ('cos he is scared of me), and he'll huff and puff, and clap his wings, or musically spit at me so that I will leave and he can have my his garden. But I often don't, at least fast enough for him and he'll roll his eyes and then fly off as loudly and dramatically as possible and make himself somebody-else's' problem.

My second guess that this guy is young is because, while he's got the general musically liquid burbling and whiffling of tūī down, he still adding stuff to his own song, you know, unique little touches that will impress the chicks and strike fear into his enemies.

So far this year he has really developed his scream.

The tūī has an alarm call, it's a kinda short shriek that they do a couple of times. It sounds a bit like a territorial call of a kingfisher. And there is a couple of resident kingfishers, so when I was always hearing screaming I thought it was them, but it was kinda off too, like too musical, and it was all the time. Like all the time. Ok, more like several times a day. I figured out it was this tūī as I saw him casually doing it, but it was driving me nuts cos I'd hear him and them it would sit in the back of my head, is that a tūī or a kingfisher? and because I'm a nerd like that it would annoy me.

But the screaming also annoyed me, it's an annoying sound. Its a sound made to get attention and it works on people too. Tūī also use it on raptors and stuff too, to harass them or express their displeasure of the raptor's or whatever's existence, and I guess also the communicate to other tūī that there is bad news around. Thing is he never straight out screams at me, or other people, he just screams in general.

Typing this out has made me think about how small my world is at the moment as I have beef with a bird. It just feels a bit targeted sometimes, as he knows I sometimes put the fruit and the water out, he's being a bit of a dick about it. The other birds don't give me this kinda shit. But sometimes I am that guy who posts to the local facebook community page complaining about the speakerboys every night.

Anyway, he's been working hard on a new project recently.

He has added argumentative seagulls to his repertoire.

And he has nailed it, pretty convincing.

Some sounds to help re-create my aural landscape...

Tūī scream

Normal Tūī stuff

Seagull sounds

[transformers-synergize]

weird robot alien

[darkmuffinstudios]

Some magma doodles :3

[rocketbirdie]

we got a lot in common...

[likethevalley]

New home for the Hermit Thrush

[yaoicarus]

apocalypse bird trio....

[smashwolfen]

TOGES!!!!!!

SO MANY TOGES!!!!!

ITS A TOGE DUMP!!!!!!

Behold, the togepi line more like birbs than ever before! I had a lot of fun just messing with their looks and floof, and then colouring I just threw out the window and went with whatever works worked mentality. Did not strive for perfection but just what felt right and I like how it all turned out in the end XD

I had the vibe of Togepi looking more like a baby chick than usual, Togetic being a mix of a chicken and a dove, and Togekiss being a mix of a snowy owl, dove and a hint of parrot for the crest of feathers on its head.

Please enjoy baby birb, awkward teen birb and beeg mama birb!

[mento--mori]

little ProjMoon sketchdump featuring my favs because I finally caved and fell headfirst into Limbus 😭

[d3mon-ology]

𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙼𝚄𝚃𝙴𝚂 𝚃𝙾 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙼𝙲𝙳𝙸𝙲𝙺'𝚂 𝙾𝙽 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝙰𝙽𝚃 & 𝟾 𝙼𝙸𝙻𝙴 𖤐 ࿐ྀུ

[ PT. 1 ] A scene from the project FOR THE BIRDS. 2023 Birdie and Santo are on their commute to Birdie's place of employment, McDonald's.

PROJECT: For The Birds— A poetry-prose story told from multiple perspectives of how a time-traveling, femme-leaning bisexual ends the world in 2023. [ portions of this were also written into a prologue one-shot for the 1x1 STRAY CATS ]

THE BIRDIES — 2023

Birdie’s temple was pressed into her fist, recalling the cross-eyed look on her mother’s face from the evening before. This was why she woke up late.

To the right of the idling FJ60 “Land Cruiser” sat slumped a car wash’s marquee sign. It read “Small Wins Add Up,” and Birdie gave it a once-over.

It was a stupid, useless sign. Still, she found herself smiling, imagining some man with a hump on his back who’s spent the past forty years at this fuckin’ car wash. He worked his way up to owning the joint, and in the midst of all the world’s sewage, the general B.S., and his crappy life, he’d thought it was worth it to remind everyone, especially himself, that it wasn’t all bullshit. That his crappy life equated to something quite lovely.

Instead, Birdie was insulted. 

❝Look at that,❞ Santo said to break the silence of their morning commute. 

❝Yeah. Guess they were feelin’ positive.❞ 

❝Maybe.❞ He shrugged minutely and pulled a vapor rip from his Breeze. The smell of synthetic fruity pebbles filled the car. He had this habit of holding it like a cigarette. It was one of his goofier and more charming traits, the kind that tended to catch Birdie off guard.

As they passed a strip mall, Santo asked, ❝Hear about the Burger Kings closing?❞

She shook her head.

❝400 employees.❞

❝Shit.❞

She frowned in a temporary way that showed she wasn’t able to think about shit like that right now.

❝Another Norfolk-Southern crash too.❞ 

❝Oh yeah? Where?❞

❝Just a coupla miles from here.❞

❝Oh.❞

❝Yeah.❞

Birdie yawned but said nothing else. Seconds became longer and intolerable, stretching and condensing.

Finally, “Did you hear about what happened in Florida?❞

❝What’s that?” 

❝Like with Ron DeSantis? The photos of him in drag?❞

❝Yeah?❞ 

❝Yeah.❞ 

❝Cool, I guess.❞

❝Really?❞ 

Silence settled as Birdie looked cautiously before making her left turn. Santo coughed and asked, ❝You goin’ to the baby shower on Saturday?❞ 

She looked at him bleakly before flipping back at the road. The baby shower was for the daughter of a friend of her mom and his dad. It was celebrations like these that had brought Santo and Birdie back from the brink before.

❝Maybe.❞ 

He nodded and fiddled with the bottom of his lip. A horn honked and she didn’t flinch. Still, he watched her and waited for her to say something other than the tepid response she’d given to a very simple question. 

Birdie sighed and filled the silence. ❝I know you've gone cold-turkey on your fam 'cause of what your dad said, but I'm giving Torro a hug and a kiss anyways.❞ There was a non-verbal cue she sent with this statement. She wanted to know how he felt about his sister being there.

❝Tell her I said hi.❞ His voice was smooth and pitched low.

He was being unfair to her.

She was being unfair to him.

He didn't see what was right in front of him.

She didn't see what was right in front of her.

Her nails itched at her temple, and he noted the achy look to her strict jaw. A crumpling sound filled the silence as Santo scratched his scalp.

He asked, ❝So are you gonna talk about what’s botherin’ you?❞

❝Am I really that obvious?❞ There was an illusion of a joke based on her quick scoff, but he knew better. 

He smiled all the same, as he tended to do when he ticked her off. ❝I woke up to you kicking your boots around and yelling at me to get up.❞

❝Don’t bum it on my couch then, if it’s such an issue.❞ 

At this next red light, she sat up straighter, gripped the wheel tighter, and set her brows in a wobbly line. She tried not looking at him but at the road instead.

❝Don’t be like that.❞ It came out as a melodramatic whimper, but it caught her attention enough for her brown eyes to meet his. 

He leaned over, so casual, and pressed his pointer finger down onto the bunched up middle where her brows met. It moved with a gentleness that was ill fitting on him to anyone else who knew him.

Ronnie’s seen him do this once or twice, especially as of late. She and Birdie had moved in together, Santo sticking to the dorms because that’s what his scholarship paid for. They’d taken to these “Hermit Crab Parties” where the three of them would get high together and spend a lazy night-in. Since these evenings first came to be, there was a small fear that began within Santo — that perhaps he was on the way out. The pair (Santo and Birdie) knew of this fear, had been dancing around the Ronnie-shaped weight developing above them. They’d been avoiding certain strains, like this type of touch, as a result. 

The first time Ronnie was a witness to this affectionate act, her unending gaze narrowed, and her pupils became the seeds of concern, doubt, and a little something like envy. Ronnie always looks at people intensely, but when she saw Santo commit himself fully to this act of affection, and so easily too, she watched him with careful curiosity. It was the first time she acted concerned for Birdie, for Santo a bit too, and she preferred not to leave them alone whenever she could. For Birdie, there was a constant reminder that the situation, the friendship, would boil down to whether or not she could say anything to Ronnie, to Josie, and to Santo about what any of these sweetnesses meant. Birdie couldn’t, though. She was just trying to get up in the morning and to get to work in one piece.

The truth that Birdie is keenly aware of is that Ronnie isn’t a girl outside of Santo’s reach. Birdie knew this yesterday, as he so casually pushed back against what was bothering her. Birdie knew it this morning. Birdie has known it ever since Ronnie saw him touch her face and learned that Santo was a worthy boy. Birdie will not do anything about this though. 

We do not judge this Birdie for being selfish.

She wants to keep his little idiosyncrasies, his secrets, and his darkly intimate thoughts to herself. Santo, the unknowable. Santo, Birdie’s closest friend. These facts are seemingly contradictory. The three of them have never been that kind to each other in the years since Ronnie came to Michigan, at least not overtly. None of them could stomach it. Whatever they did to care about each other, they did it discreetly. 

Naturally, it is addicting to keep Ronnie and all their other friends wondering what, about homely ‘ole Birdie, merited such uncharacteristic sweetness. It is addicting to have it be so discreet that Birdie and Santo long ago ate each other’s souls and learned all there is to know. It is addicting to have this fact bleed out over time and to watch it to melt away what seemed so contradictory. It is addicting to the point where Birdie has to hide it because it is too close to the giddiness that Jacqueline gave, the kindness her mother shows, the prize that Josie promises, the loyalty Ronnie offers, or the safety her father gave. It is addicting to wake up and know, almost certainly, that there is someone there when she gets up in the morning.

We do not judge this Birdie for being selfish. 

We want her to eat every soul. 

We want her to end the world.

Most all, we want change.

BIRDIE — 2023

I looked at Santo softly as he smoothed the knitted, knotted place my brows met. “You’ve had this scowl on your face since I woke up this morning,” he murmured.

The light changed. My head snapped forward. His hand, with dried cracks filled with oil from his hours spent working on his bike, remained in the air. His eyes lingered, like his hand. I shrugged and smiled a thin line.

❝I got a shit critique on my midterm for my Oils class.❞ 

❝Hm.❞ He dug out some gunk from his nails. ❝That sucks.❞

I nodded, throat velvet and heavy, and gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles. He stopped watching me drive and looked out the window instead. 

(This was why Ronnie didn’t leave them alone.)

❝The one who keeps giving you all that trouble?❞

I nodded. ❝I don’t think he likes me❞ I scrunch my nose. ❝Or whatever.❞

He laughed. ❝And why’s that?❞

❝I sent him an email once, explaining my artistic thesis.❞

A chuckle. ❝And what’s that?❞

❝To make something that is out of the ordinary, thus eliciting something out of the ordinary.❞

He was still laughing. ❝You’re kidding, right?❞

❝Shut up. I know it’s dumb❞

❝No, no. I think it’s cool, but you also sound like you were higher than a kite. I know I’m not smart, but to me its like word soup.❞

❝Exactly. He thinks I’m fake with no technical skill.❞

❝What I mean is he isn’t thinking that deeply about you.❞

I reached over, pawing for his hand, but he handed me his vape, either not understanding or unwilling to give me what I wanted. I chucked it back at him, dropping it in his lap. 

Instead, rolling down the window and plucking an American Spirit from my pack, I lit up and took a drag. 

Finally, throat raw, I asked, ❝But isn’t that worse?❞

A breeze trickled in, undulating with spring. The weather was so uncharacteristically lovely, I’d forgotten it was February. The air was chilled but tempered by the sun, which bore down and gave the world that fresh smell that laundry soap could only imitate. I had taken a deep breath because that type of air tends to energize my soul and set my dopamine receptors on fire. Instead of making me feel alive, my brain thought about ending things before it got worse. This morning, I woke up to snow, reinforcing the feeling from yesterday that something was wrong. I knew this though, so I let the feeling pass like a ship in the night, the way my therapist taught me to.

Santo brought up a different, needlesome boat. ❝What? You want him to be out for you?❞

❝Maybe.❞

We pulled into the McDonald's parking lot.

This was why Ronnie didn’t leave us alone.

graphic is by me. center image from Sir! Magazine (1957), background image from Tumblr.

[winter-mornings]

Oh so Helpful

[peachyubey]

baby birds (government drones)

[revelingrexan]

pre-fallen tiny little itty bitty body Lucifer? YES PLEASE

this was SO FUN to make

modeled by me for an assignment, design originally by @diabloku in their "ALASTOR'S VICIOUS MOCKERY" video

(some more angles and a bonus cursed alternate version under the cut)

_______

some more angles to answer a question some people might have, like "HOW DID YOU EVEN GET THOSE WINGS TO FIT ON HIS BODY" (a few people asked me that lol. or at least one person did. i think a second person--ANYWAY)

answer: curve the wings out A LOT away from the body and give them tiny bases

BONUS: I HAD TOO MUCH FUN AND FORGOT THE ASSIGNMENT WAS ACTUALLY TO CREATE A BUST (HEAD AND SHOULDERS), NOT A WHOLE BODY, AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW PEDANTIC MY PROFESSOR WOULD BE, SO I MADE THIS VERSION TOO

i wish i remembered to include his collarbone and some neck muscles. it would have been even more cursed

(more bonus info: i'm new-ish to the program we're using [ZBrush], so i didn't realize there's a torus -- a ring -- object i could have used for the halo. so i squashed a sphere and tried to cut a circle out from the center, but the program didn't cooperate. so i instead gave him a semi-halo thing lol)

[snailkites]

What gave me away?