#proud ted dad ALWAYS

[vole-mon-amour]

I will accept VA's (or actors in a tv show/movie) headcanons about their characters if I like those headcanons.

I will not if I don't like them.

However, it's nice to remember that their words are not canon, especially if it's a shitty take. The actor that plays your fav doesn't have to ship your ship, but you also don't have to accept their ship and/or their take on your ship.

On that note: fandom is for fun. So have fun and don't be creeps and bother actors with something they have no control over. Or, just in general, don't be creeps.

[holdmytesseract]

moodboard by the wonderful @chennqingg <3

Wonders [EoH]

Daryl Dixon x fem!Reader feat. Teddy Dixon

Summary: Sometimes is all you need a wonder in a broken world...

Warnings: usual TWD stuff? lots of fluff, talks of pregnancy, slight angst, dad!Daryl

The Whisperer Era!

Word Count: 2,1k

a/n: I had to write this. 🥹 Hope y'all like this! 🤗

EoH Masterlist °☆• Daryl Masterlist °☆• Masterlist

"Ted?" You called out for your son; voice echoing through the little cottage. "Outside, momma!" Your son answered loud enough for you to hear; feet carrying you straight towards him.

The nine-year-old sat on a small log just outside the cottage. He was highly concentrated on making his first own arrow. His tongue poked out of his mouth and touching his upper lip; eyes fixated on the task ahead. Dog laid beside him on the grass. The faithful canine rarely left the boy's side. Not since Daryl told Dog to always protect Teddy. He understood the assignment. Smart animal, without a doubt...

Daryl was not far. Only a few yards away; chopping wood, so that he could always have an eye on his son.

It had gotten noticeably colder. That was the reason why your husband spent more time with hunting and especially chopping wood. Fall was making itself known and preparing you for the winter, which was probably already lurking just around the corner.

"Oh, you almost finished it?" You spoke in a bright voice; crouching down beside your kid to admire his good work. Teddy nodded proudly, "Mhm. Look!" and showed you the arrow. Of course, it was far from perfect and couldn't be used as a weapon. The tip was blunt - on purpose. Daryl didn't want Teddy to hurt himself. After all, Teddy was still young and his skills not entirely developed yet. But for that, the arrow was good. His father taught him well, you thought with a smile, like you did so often.

"Wow, that's amazing, baby. I'm proud of you," you smiled warmly at the boy and ruffled his long chestnut brown locks. Your son smiled up at you as well. "Thanks, momma."

You could feel Daryl's eyes on you; watching the scene in front of his eyes - which reminded you why you actually called your son...

"Teddy, could you go and check on the rabbit traps? I have to talk to daddy." He nodded, "Okay." and hopped from the log, before he carefully placed the arrow on it. "Take Dog with you and be careful, yes?" "Sure, momma. Dog, c'mon." Dog lifted his head and immediately jumped to his feet and fallowed his best friend.

You could still feel your husband's eyes on you, but this time you could tell that he was a bit confused.

Taking a deep breath, you straightened up again and made your way over to Daryl, who continued his work, now that you were on your way to him anyway. It had gotten colder, yes - even for Daryl, who had switched to wearing sweatshirts and long-sleeved shirts instead of t-shirts and shirts turned to tops with the sleeves ripped off. With a small grunt, he lunged out and precisely split the wood in two with his axe. You would've lied, if you said that this wasn't sexy in some kind of way. But now was not the time to ogle your man... You had something important to discuss...

"Daryl? Can we talk?"

Your husband looked at you with a mix of concern and confusion, but nodded. "Sure." He snuffled and placed the axe aside. "Do I have ta be worried?" You swallowed and looked down; fingers fumbling nervously with your shirt-sleeve. "Honestly? I-I don't know." A deep frown formed on the archer's forehead. Now he was really concerned - and you could see it clearly on his face. After over ten years being a couple, you could read this man like a book.

"Ya don know? Sunshine, wha's that s'pposed ta mean?"

Your eyes darted to Teddy for a short moment; watching him in distance check on the rabbit traps together with Dog. He had grown up so fast... Sure, in a world like this he had to, but you'd have loved to give him a better childhood and youth. Not cruel and full of death and blood. Was this truly something you wanted to bestow on another- "Hey, Y/N..."

Daryl's voice ripped you out of your thoughts; his hands on yours caused you to turn your head to face him again. "Wha's wrong? Talk ta me. Please." You swallowed once again; taking a deep breath. "Daryl, I... I missed two cycles. One happened before, but two..." You could see the gears turning in his head. He blinked; his palms twitching around your hands. "Darlin'... Are you... Are you tryin' to tell me wha' I think yer tryin' to tell me?" You nodded. "Uh.Huh..."

Daryl let go of your hands again and started to pace up and down; fingers scratching his goatee covered chin. You watched him for a few moments; giving him some time to process this - until you couldn't take the silence anymore. "D-Daryl? Say somethin', please..."

Your husband stopped dead in his movements for a moment, before he almost hastily started to search his things together. Crossbow, vest, map.

You frowned; now utterly confused. "Daryl?" He strapped on his crossbow, "'M goin' out; find a pharmacy and get a test." and smiled at you. Truly smiled. The first smile in months - hell, even years after Rick's disappearance, which reached his eyes.

You were slightly surprised and taken aback, but you certainly didn't complain. "A-Alright, sure, but now? Sweetie, it's gettin' dark soon..." Daryl was already making his way over to his bike. "Don care. I gotta know, sunshine. Hell, I wanna know." "Uh, okay," you were still rather flabbergasted, as you followed him. "But be careful, yeah? Be safe." The archer leaned slightly to the right, in order to press a quick, but loving kiss against your lips. "'Course, sunshine."

And off he went.

Your eyes fallowed him as long as you could; crossing your arms over your chest as the chilly breeze hit your body.

"Where's daddy goin'?" Teddy appeared beside you; Dog in tow and three rabbits in his hands. You looked down at your little boy; "Just on a small run. He'll be back soon." adjusting the red bandana around his neck. "Let's go inside, huh? It's getting cold."

Your son nodded and followed you inside the cottage.

It had gotten late. By now it was pitch black outside - and raining. Daryl wasn't back yet and so slowly started your worries to creep in. Therefore, you occupied yourself. Made sure everything was walker safe, took care of the rabbits, fed Dog, had dinner and spent some time with Teddy, before you wanted to send him off to bed. But, of course, like always, the nine-year-old refused to sleep. Not until his father was back. You had no other choice but to let him.

Another hour later, you finally heard the familiar sound of a motorcycle. A relieved sigh left your lips, while your son was already storming out of his tiny room and straight towards the door. He had heard it, too.

A few moments later, Daryl stepped inside; bringing a good portion rain, leaves and wind with him. He quickly shut the door, put down his crossbow and shed himself of his wet poncho.

"Daddy!" Teddy sprinted straight into his dad's arms, who lifted him up and hugged him tight. "Hey, bud. Yer not asleep yet?" Daryl looked at you and you silently told him why; Teddy still clinging to him. Daryl understood, of course and walked with his son without further ado to the boy's room, which was right behind your bedroom. For safety reasons, of course. "Good night, baby." Teddy turned to smile tiredly at you; hand tucked neatly into Daryl's. "Nighty night, momma."

While your husband tucked Teddy in, you hung up the wet poncho to dry. Now that Daryl was back from his little run and the worries about his well-being ceased, there was space again for the previous thoughts and fears to come back again. The missed cycles and the possibility of being pregnant. It wasn't like you didn't want to be, no. Actually, it would be a wonderful surprise, but... So much had changed around you since Teddy. The world had changed around you. Being pregnant wasn't that 'easy' anymore...

You didn't even notice that you were totally lost in thoughts, but when a strong arm wrapped itself around your waist, you snapped out of the bubble.

"Teddy asleep?" Daryl nodded. "Mhm." You felt the urge to be close to your husband; hoping that this would take your doubts and fears away. So, you leaned into his half embrace and slung your arms around his torso. Daryl immediately got the hint and wrapped you up in a big, protective bear hug.

"You okay?" You heard him ask then; concern swinging within his voice. "Yeah, 's just... You know..." You felt the archer nod against your head. "Let's find out?" "Let's find out."

Daryl handed you three different brands of pregnancy tests with a shrug. "Didn't know which one's good. Ain't ma specialty. Jus' thought 'm bringing them all." You took them. "It's okay, sweetie. Just gonna take all of 'em to be sure."

Said and done. With shaky hands you did what you had to do, before you returned to your husband, who was pacing again up and down the room like a wounded animal.

You placed all three tests upside-down on the little, wooden dining table; taking a deep breath. "How long do we have ta wait?" "Normally 'bout a few minutes," you answered and turned to face him. He nodded. Once more you stepped up close to your man; needing to ask the question which was occupying you since the first thought of pregnancy crossed your mind - even though he already gave you a nonverbal and kinda verbal answer. "Daryl..." You whispered his name; laying your palms on his chest. "Would you... Would you want this? A-Another baby? Would you be... happy 'bout it?"

You felt how one of his arms encircling your waist; the other hand cupping your cheek. "Darlin', I'd be the happiest man on earth. After all the things which happened..." He paused for a moment; swallowing hard - and you knew exactly what he meant. "Yeah. I'd be happy." You smiled softly; rubbing his pecks gently. "Truly?" Daryl nodded, but could definitely see in your eyes how troubled you were. "Yes. 'M not gonna... do the things I did ten years back. I promise." You shook your head. "'S not what I'm worried about, Daryl... I... The world has changed around us. Being pregnant is not that 'easy' anymore..."

The archer chew on his bottom lip; listening to your every word, before he nodded again. "I know whatcha mean, sunshine. 'S nothing easy in this world anymore, but we got each other. We'll make this work, 'cause we both want tis, right?"

A single tear rolled down your cheek as you smiled. "Yes."

Your husband reciprocated your smile and hugged you tightly; reassuring.

"Let's take a look, eh?" He whispered then; slowly letting go of you. You nodded, "Let's take a look." and took Daryl's hand in yours; gently pulling him over to the small dining table. You stared at the three plastic sticks; nervosity still coursing through your veins. "D-Daryl, can you...?" He squeezed your hand and stepped closer to the table. His eyes met yours as he nodded.

You swallowed hard and took a step back; watching how his calloused fingers danced over the tests. Daryl lifted all of them up and slowly turned them in his hands; eyes focused. "A-And?" He didn't answer you; just kept on staring. "Daryl!"

At the call of his name, he finally looked up; one of the biggest smiles you had ever seen him smile stretched over his whole face. "Well... Looks like we're gonna have 'nother baby, sunshine."

You blinked; needing a moment to process his words. "They... They're positive?" Your husband nodded; still smiling broadly. "All three of 'em?" Another nod. "Yeah," Daryl stated and turned them for you to see. And indeed... They were clearly positive.

"Oh my gosh..." You clapped your hand over your mouth; tears immediately blurring your vision. Yet you saw Daryl placing the tests aside again and stepping up to you; his hands finding their way around your waist. He pressed his forehead against yours. "'M happy about this, sunshine. I truly am. This is wonderful," he said in a low voice; holding on to you. "We got this, yeah?" You nodded; happy tears rolling down your cheeks as your hands clasped gently onto the lapels of Daryl's vest. "Yeah."

Both, you and Daryl enjoyed this little moment you had together; relishing in the joy of the news.

You started to giggle; taking Daryl a bit by surprise. "Teddy's gonna be over the moon 'bout this." Your husband agreed. "Hell yeah. He 'n Dog are gonna be the best big brothers." You giggled once again; the cutest scenarios already forming in your mind. "Oh, I'm convinced by that."

Tags: @celtic-crossbow @belitoxx @lou12346789 @fictive-sl0th @marvelcasey05 @loz-3 @mischief-dream @whore4romance @stitchintimefan @bigbaldheadname @making-the-most-0f-it @erebus-et-eigengrau @km-ffluv @0-aubrie0 @sweetz1919 @mikaela-granger @secretsicanthideanymore @dilfdixon @txtttttttttttttt @dixons-sunshine @wolfsmom1

[booksandpaperss]

dear byler’s who talk abt and analyze the wheeler family,

headcanons n fanon n stuff with the wheelers are fine obviously but if we’re talking about analyzing CANON:

no Karen is not going to be homophobic part of her arc is being afraid to break out of social norms and being proud of her kids for doing it even tho she’s not the best mom

yes Ted IS casually homophobic dude literally had a Reagan sign and he’s a conservative man in a 80s be fr

no Ted is not viciously homophobic he is too apathetic to care (tho he’s probably made comments abt it occasionally, that’s up to interpretation rn tho 🤷🏻‍♀️) and the fanon Lonnie Byers-ification of Ted is insensitive for several reasons

no Ted is not gay just bc Mike has been paralleled to him and he smiled at hopper one time like it’s probably just bc he’s pro police again be fr

no I will never unironically be a Ted apologist and sympathizer

no the Wheeler parents are not abusive yes the Wheeler parents are emotionally neglectful there are many ways parents can traumatize their kids

no Karen is not a bad person

yes Karen IS a bad mom

no Ted is not a good person he could not give less of a shit about Nancy and Mike and so far the show has not given me a single piece of evidence to believe otherwise

no Ted is not the worst possible dad but he’s a pretty shitty one

yes Karen loves her kids even tho she’s a pretty bad at showing it sometimes

yes it is ALWAYS the fault of parents for not properly caring for and raising their kids regardless of life circumstances tho there is room for complexity it is still always the parents responsibility to nurture their kids and support and reach out okay are we all clear on this now?

Okay great 🙏

[silamander]

In honor of Lautski week, time for Lautski headcanons

They always have some sort of physical contact going on, whether it’s arms around each other, legs tangled up, or intertwined hands.

They do the Lumity hug lift thing anytime they hug. Steph just lifts and spins Pete cause he’s a twig.

Steph’s favorite place to kiss Pete is his nose.

Pete has a running joke of Steph being a moth because she stares at lights so much (ADHD Steph is a whole other discussion for another day-)

Steph will tell Pete a ton of the popular kid drama before they start dating and all of it after, even if she was sworn to secrecy for some of it (most of her friendships are likely formed for superficial reasons so she might not care much about breaking their trust) and Pete pretends not to be super invested even though they both know he is.

Pete is the most attentive and perceptive partner ever. He picks up on every little detail. Steph had a bad day? Pete instantly knows how to cheer her up. Steph is excited about something and needs to talk about it? Hey babe what’s up tell me all about it. Pete’s the type to start keeping snacks on hand because he knows Steph’s internal clock and that she always forgets to eat and then gets hangry after a few hours.

They frequently have sleepovers and they try to be all cute and cuddle with each other but Steph moves around way too much for that to be a good viable option. Pete has woken up on the floor at least twice because Steph rolled over too many times.

They vent to each other about their problems/stress in private. It always ends in them making fun of someone/something that’s caused them these feelings.

Pete loves horror movies because he’s a special effects geek and Steph lies and says she likes horror movies so she still looks cool but is actually not a fan and the scares almost always get her.

Pete is also a Jurassic World Evolution junkie and he shows Steph all the parks he makes (no I am not self projecting).

If Ruth, in any timeline, lives to see Peter and Stephanie have a child, she’d be a MENACE of an aunt and teach that kid ALL THE SWEARS. Richie would put on his favorite animes for them, and get them hooked. The two of them would never admit it, but they love how much Steph and Pete care about each other, and are so insanely proud of Pete.

Ted would be so stoked that Pete pulled the most popular girl at his school and she’s so clearly head over heels for him AND she’s helping Pete feel more confident?? Fuck yeah that’s Ted’s sister now. Steph and Ted probably mess with each other in a really brother/sister way anyways. (Not that Ted would ever admit to Steph that he sees her as a sister. He has a reputation, y'know?)

Pete's parents love her too. Mrs. Spankoffski loves her boys but she needs someone to have a little girl time with (and Steph of course would love to have a maternal figure in her life). Pete's dad and Steph definitely talk a fuckton about classic rock. No thoughts just daddy issues, motherless, only child Steph getting the family she deserves by being with Pete :]

They're so cringe, i love them <3

[illiterateaffairs]

DISTRACTIONS II | ALONE AT MIDNIGHT

pairing: jamie tartt x f!reader (ted lasso)

rating: T

word count: 2,880

summary: jamie refuses to let you go home alone again

A/N: what could THAT mean?

distractions masterlist | previous chapter

After almost three months with the club, you and the team are now celebrating a seven game win streak. 

Rebecca has somehow managed to convince a star football player called Zava to join AFC Richmond (you still weren’t sure if that was his first name or last name) and they haven’t lost a match since. While very gifted at football, you wouldn’t exactly call Zava your favorite player to work with. He was self-centered but not at all self aware. For some reason the team worshiped him but you could hardly understand why. With what you heard about how much they couldn’t stand Jamie when he used to be more selfish and stuck-up, you didn’t get why they’re putting up with Zava. Maybe it was just the thrill of back-to-back wins. They were all the happiest you’d ever seen them so you kept your thoughts to yourself. 

Well almost all of them were happy. Anytime the team went out for drinks to celebrate their recent victories (even days after on a random Wednesday - any excuse for a pint, as Isaac would say) Sam convinced you to tag along. That’s how you started spending time getting to know more guys like Isaac and Colin and Dani. But even as you bonded with them, you couldn’t help but notice Jamie. You’d always find him sulking in a corner with a beer in his hand, or half heartedly making conversation with one of his teammates. You’d spoken to him a few times over the last several weeks, and while you’d talk about your weekend or share jokes about other players or even the coaches (apologies, Uncle Ted), your conversations were never lengthy or of substance. So you ignored the urge to check up on him during these nights. 

You’re out again tonight - except this time it's the entire club. Coaches, staff, and all are gathered at Sam’s restaurant Ola’s for an unofficial opening celebration in honor of the team’s seventh straight win. You’re sipping champagne by the bar with Rebecca and Keeley, when they have to introduce you to Rebecca’s old friend Sassy. You’ll love her! And of course you do. Everyone you encounter here is the best person you’ve ever met. Although your ears bleed when Sassy alludes to going home with Ted later. Rebecca secretly gives you a simultaneously apologetic and amused look, to which you can only laugh through your embarrassment. 

As you sip your champagne, you can’t help but look on as your work family mixes and mingles and laughs together. You try not to beam at Sam, who you’ve told you’re proud of a million times that night, as he talks to his chef friend. You look on curiously as Colin introduces a friend of his to some other members of the team. You even feel comforted when you see Roy sit down next to Jamie, hoping someone can get that boy out of whatever funk he’s in. Even Zava makes a surprise appearance but you keep from rolling your eyes.

You’ve really become comfortable here the last few months. You try to remember the last time you’ve felt this happy and content and you come up blank. You’re surrounded by people you actually like and a job that sustains you both financially and spiritually. Now if only you could write a word of fiction you were proud of, but baby steps will have to do.

You’re not a superstitious or paranoid person, but as soon as you start dwelling on how great your life is going, you know that you’ll jinx it.

And you do.

As Rebecca begins telling you and Keeley about the psychic reading she had recently, your phone buzzes in your back pocket. You figure it's a text from your dads and don’t want to miss an opportunity to connect with them even briefly, since you’ve been so busy. Instead of finding a text from your family group chat, you see an Instagram notification.

Mason_Andrews has posted for the first time in a while.

Stupid Instagram and their stupid irrelevant notifications.

You know you shouldn’t look. You’re having a great time, and you haven’t really thought about him in weeks. But you’re so curious. Besides, you really need to make the move to unfollow him and this could be the perfect opportunity to do so. 

So you click the notification banner and Instagram opens to a picture of Mason- with his arms wrapped around an eerily familiar red-head.

He’d told you he barely knew the girl, as the two of you fought that night; that she didn’t mean anything to him.

Apparently she did now. They looked extra cozy, all dressed up in cocktail attire at what must have been one of Mason’s work events. My girl, the caption reads simply. Your fingers move faster than your brain as you tap the image to see the girl has been tagged. Her handle tells you her name is Chloe. You know if you start digging any further you’re going to drive yourself crazy. But if you don’t look and go on the rest of the night trying to forget about it, you’ll feel even crazier. So you decide you need to get out of there as soon as possible. 

Under the guise of exhaustion, you bid your farewells to Keeley and Rebecca. You catch Ted’s eye over Sassy’s shoulder and wave. He mouths back a “get home safe”. You don’t even try to get Beard’s attention with his girlfriend Jane in his lap. Roy gives you a nod and you briefly make eye contact with Jamie as Keeley’s friend and coworker Shandy talks off his ear, giving him a small smile as you head to the front. You let Sam know you’re calling it a night, and he begs you to stay for a little while longer, but you just hug him tighter and promise to be his first customer when Ola’s officially opens. He flashes his contagious, thousand-watt smile and you almost feel better, accepting the green matchbook as a keepsake that you know you’ll never part with. 

Leaning against the brick of the restaurant, you mean to call an Uber, but end up giving in and immediately start cyber-stalking Chloe. You’re nearly a full year down her Instagram grid when the door jingles beside you, causing you to jump. 

“Jesus Christ,” you mutter, palming your chest to calm your rising heart rate. 

“Didn’t know you were so religious,” Jamie snickers from beside you, seemingly a bit more upbeat than he was earlier in the evening. 

You snort, relaxing a bit, “Says the guy with the cross earring.” 

He smirks, “It's a fashion statement, ever heard of it?”

“My sincerest apologies,” You hold your hands up playfully in surrender, “I’m surprised you're alone.” 

He raises his eyebrow. “Why?”

“Well it seems if Shandy had her way, you’d be leaving with her.”

Jamie takes a deep breath, “Shandy is…a lot. I think she wanted to take a bite out of me.” 

You laugh at the pained expression on his face, “What, you’re not into that sort of thing?” 

He gets a mischievous glint in his eye and you know you’re going to regret having said that, “Well, I’m usually the one doing the biting.” 

“My God,” you groan, closing your eyes.

“There you go with the religious expletives,” he tsks, “You know you shouldn’t use the lord’s name in vain.” 

“I will try to do better.”

Your breathy laughs die out together.

“So, what about you?” Jamie asks.

“What about me?”

“Don’t tell me you’re walking home alone again from here.”

You’re reminded of what you were supposed to be doing. “Oh, no, I was actually about to order an Uber.”

“Fuck that. My car is down the block, let me drive you.”

“Jamie, you don’t have to do that.” 

“I’m not letting you waste your money when I have a perfectly good car and empty passenger seat. Let’s go.”

He doesn’t give you another second to consider when he’s already rounding the corner of the restaurant. 

Moments later you’re putting your address into Jamie’s phone from his passenger seat, and you appreciate that he only made fun of you a little for almost getting in the driver's side. (“Hey, if you want to take a shot at driving on the correct side of the road, be my guest.” “Listen, It doesn’t make sense that everything is on the other side!”) You’ve been driving for a few minutes with only the soft sound of the radio playing when you finally let yourself ask.

“So, why the long face all night?” you inquire, “I don’t know much about non-American football, or American football for that matter, but I thought winning several games in a row was supposed to be a good thing.” 

Jamie shakes his head, “It is.”

“Thank you for clarifying,” you smile slightly, “But?”

“But,” he sighs, “I don’t love how we did it.” 

“What do you mean?”

“It's this whole Zava thing,” he admits, not taking his eyes off the road as you watch him, “Everyone is acting like he’s some God, and sure, he’s a great player, but we…stopped playing as a team. I liked it better that way. Now it's the Zava show.” 

You nod, “I get what you mean. I don’t get the hype about Zava either.”

He glances at you for a brief second before focusing on the road again. “You don’t?”

“Yeah, he’s all words and no substance. He says things but it doesn’t mean anything. It's irritating. Honestly, when he walked into Sam’s I had to force myself not to leave immediately.”

He laughs with you, “I feel like you’re the only other person who see’s through his shit.” 

“Yeah, well, I don’t really have patience for self-centered jerks. Even if they’re good at kicking a ball around or whatever.” 

Jamie’s smile falters a bit. “You know I used to be a lot like him.”

You bite back a laugh, “No way.”

Your sarcasm takes him by surprise. “I thought you weren’t into football?”

“Football? No,” you admit slowly, “One of my old coworkers, though, had an affinity for British dating shows…”

You swear you see a bit of color drain from his face under the glow of the street lights, “Ah shit.” 

You can’t help but giggle, “Yeahhh, I’m sorry.” 

“You’re sorry? You’re the one who suffered through watching that crap.”

You can’t help but join when a laugh breaks through his words. 

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“That bad? I was a total prick.”

“Oh yeah you were a douchebag, but it made great TV.” 

He can’t help but laugh with you despite himself. “Yeah, I guess.” 

“But you don’t seem like that guy anymore,” you reassure, “I don’t think the guy who broke Amy’s heart would offer to drive a girl you barely know home.” 

“I’m trying not to be,” he muses softly. “But you’re right about one thing. I barely know you and you’ve probably seen more of me than either of us would like to admit.”

You chuckle, feeling your face get hot. “'You saying you want to play 20 questions or something?”

“How about one? That being, why the hell did you come to Richmond?” he glances at you again as you suddenly find your hands more interesting than the boy beside you, “Sam says you had some fancy job back in America and now you’re basically a football club owner’s secretary.”

“We prefer the term personal assistant.” 

He rolls his eyes, “So what? Were you that desperate to learn about ‘non-American football’ or what?”

You take a long, deep breath. “You want the honest answer?” 

Jamie shrugs like it's obvious.

“I told my family I needed a change of scenery, but it was because of a guy. Pathetic right? Making a life changing decision because some guy broke my heart. But the truth is I’d been making a lot of my decisions because of him while we were together. Where to live. What friends to hang out with. I had my old job because he thought it would be a good fit for me even though it wasn’t what I really wanted to do. So, after we…broke up, I realized I didn’t really know who I was because my whole life was built around him and us. So, I knew I had to get the hell out of Chicago, panicked, quit my job, and…here I am; just trying to get a change of scenery and figure out who the hell I am.” 

You never admitted that to anyone. No one around you ever saw how controlling he was over your life. You knew your family would have called you out about it, but they never got the chance to spend much time with him. He insisted you spend holidays with his family and you went along with it. And when you visited yours, you went alone. You didn’t realize it at the time, but subconsciously you weren’t very proud of your relationship with him. You were blinded by the attention he gave you, all the while molding you into his definition of a perfect girlfriend. Until apparently you weren’t. 

You eventually glanced back over at Jamie, and despite paying attention to the road in front of him, you could tell he was listening attentively. 

“Damn, so once you finally saw how bad he was, you dumped him and left?”

You laugh humorously, “No, I dumped him after I caught him cheating on me.” That was also the first time you told someone willingly. 

“Jesus Christ.”

“Now who’s using the lord’s name in vain?”

“He sounds fucking awful. Glad you’re rid of him.”

“If only I’d come to my senses sooner.”

He shakes his head, “Don’t blame yourself when he’s the prick.”

You digest the sentiment as his car slows to a stop and you realize you’ve made it to your apartment. 

He angles his body towards you, “Seriously, I’m sorry that happened to you. No one…no one deserves that.”

Meeting his eyes, you get the sense that there’s more meaning behind his words that you don’t understand. Still you smile slightly. “Thank you, Jamie.”

He presses his lips together in a thin smile as well. 

You unbuckle your seatbelt as you continue, “Well, here’s hoping that quitting my job and moving halfway across the world actually does the trick and lets me move on, or else I might be a little crazy.” 

Jamie chuckles and you feel the energy shift back to lighthearted, “Well, you know what they say, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”

“Jesus Chr-” you stop as he raises his eyebrows playfully, and you start to smile. Not only do you let yourself laugh at his cheeky joke, you let yourself consider his words. Casual dating let alone sex wasn’t really your thing, but maybe it could help. At the very least it would be a well deserved distraction. You briefly consider trying out the Bantr app but you loathed online dating. And here you were with a perfectly eligible bachelor mere inches away from you. 

No. No. You couldn’t hook up with Jamie Tartt. 

He was a notorious playboy. And while you could now attest he wasn’t as bad as his on-screen persona made him look, you knew he still wasn’t a relationship guy. 

But that’s not what this would be. 

Maybe he would be the perfect guy to distract you for one night. He instantly made you forget about Mason earlier until he became the topic of conversation. And he was very pretty. 

Before you can second guess anymore, you push yourself towards him and press your lips against his. If Jamie’s surprised by your actions, it doesn’t last long. He quickly unbuckles his own seatbelt, so he can bring the two of you closer together, his hands squeezing your waist, as yours cup around his face. You kiss frantically for a few more moments, sneaking in breaths where you can, before you’re pulling away slightly. Your noses are brushing against one another as you blink up at him, “Do you want to come inside?” 

He doesn’t bother answering, letting out shaky breaths as he nods, bumping his forehead against yours lightly. You smile into another kiss and Jamie doesn’t break away as he starts reaching to unlock the car doors, eager to get into your apartment but a little less eager to part from you. Reluctantly you separate again so you both can fumble out of the car and up the stairs of your building. You feel his breath on your neck as you hurriedly unlock your front door. He gently leads you inside, only to shut the door and push you against it, picking up where he left off. His hands make their way down your body to your thighs, and without having to be asked, you're jumping up to wrap your legs around his waist. You mumble directions to your bedroom against his lips and before you know it, he’s lying you down across your bed. As his lips leave a trail down your neck and to your chest, you don’t even remember Mason’s name. Your mind is just clouded by Jamie, Jamie, Jamie. 

A/N: let me know what you think y’all!!! also taking this opportunity to let everyone know i’m not comfortable writing smut or things like that, but will obviously allude to this like this. hope everyone understands! ❤️

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

okay so I can't stop thinking about a nerdy prudes star trek au

Pete: Android, Chief of Science

second “son” and creation of infamous non-federation cyberneticist t'noy karaxis (because come on that just sounds like a Star Trek name) 

t’noy’s first creation (ted) was considered unstable/aggressive by the federation standards and was incredibly dangerous, but when they went to handle the situation both ted and t’noy karaxis had ~mysteriously disappeared~

pete doesn’t know where they went either and he’s always very worried about them showing up again (but also, secretly, really wants at least ted to)

pete was never completely finished because of the disappearance, so he’s faulty, prone to power fluctuations (woah,,,, almost like low blood sugar,,, crazy,,,,)

he’s got an emotion chip, but it’s also faulty, in that it spikes hard into overdrive, and he has a hard time controlling it some of the time

If he’s feeling really upset/worried about something important/embarrassed he’s prone to remove it (especially when he’s younger/before he’s got his established friend-group-crew; they really try to stop him from doing that)

VERY IN LOVE WITH STEPH BUT HE DOES NOT REALLY UNDERSTAND IT AND IT’S STRESSING HIM OUT

started just as a normal science officer but like six people died and now he’s got the position– he’s also really stressed out about that precedent

he loves outer space so bad, they regularly have to reign him in on ground missions or during very dangerous space-issues because he’s just so excited about learning cool new space facts

his room is just books and experiments and a huge window so when everyone else goes to sleep he kind of just Stares out at the stars

he has little cyber-glasses that ‘help him analyze things’ but mostly he wears them because he thinks they look cool

not great with people both for android reasons and for ‘spent the vast majority of his early existence entirely alone and isolated, finishing building himself’ reasons 

Steph: Half-betazoid, Security Officer (She’s….. the brawn……. he’s the brains)

okay first things first I know betazoid's irises that are all black but I've always thought it would be cool if it was their whole eye and this is my au, gene roddenberry, so leave me alone

back to actual au: her dad (human) is a high ranking starfleet officer who nepo-babies her through the academy and onto a starship but he’s incredibly open, both vocally and projecting-his-emotions wise, that he’s doing it to get rid of her

her mom (betazoid) died when she was really little and she was raised across multiple starships/bases by her dad, so she’s entirely cut off from that part of her culture

she’s flying completely blind with her emotion/mind reading abilities and from a very young age has learned how to take advantage of it for her own benefit

it’s basically masking times four hundred because she’s navigating all of her relationships and interactions based on the thoughts of those around her/what they’d like or want from her

she’s constantly subjected to the really gross thoughts of her crewmates and it’s GROSS AND BAD and has really heightened her defenses

especially in her academy days (at the behest of her friends) or when she’s feeling threatened she can and will use her mind reading abilities to be really, really mean but,,,, she doesn’t do it much anymore and does feel very bad about it

she really hates pete at first because he’s the first person she’s never been able to read the mind of and she doesn’t know how to navigate it/it’s way, way too vulnerable for her but it actually ends up making them way closer because it’s the first relationship she’s ever had based fully on trust

never actually gave a shit about star fleet or it’s missions before, she was honestly really annoyed by the academy and her dad all but forcing her to take this position, but it’s… sort of growing on her (don’t tell anyone)

Grace: Human, Medical Officer

human and incredibly proud of that

she’s like…. maybe a little prejudiced about it,,, she certainly doesn’t mean to be,,,, but she’s always the one to deliver that classic star trek ‘I thought this race didn’t have BLANK advancement, humans do this better, etc...’ lines that kicks off an episode to tell you about the new alien race of the episode

both her parents worked with star fleet but never actually made it off of earth (because they didn’t want to) so she’s her family’s equivalent of ‘kind of a rebel’ for wanting to be on a starship

she’s just a really high achiever and is treating it sort of like a mission trip to help other planets

(she also just… really wanted to and thinks it’s cool but she thinks that's kind of selfish so she keeps that a secret) 

doesn’t trust pete and is at least somewhat miffed about him not needing help from medical 

met steph in academy and was really, really, really excited when they got assigned on the same ship (steph was NOT)

huge stickler for rules and regulations and it’s either incredibly helpful or causes all their problems there's no in between

morally against the holodeck and no one is necessarily clear on why

because her parents worked for star fleet on earth she still lived with them during academy so being on the ship is her first time ever being apart from them and it’s causing some sort of crisis (though who know which way said crisis is going to hard pivot) (you hope it’s in a gay way but it’s also grace so it could be in a space murder way,.,., only time will tell)

Ruth: Human, Engineer

human and livid about it

desperately wants to be captain one day, and has dreams of being on the bridge, but it became clear very quickly in the academy that she was too anxious to ‘boldly go’ as far as she’d need to to achieve that :(

she’s very good at engineering but she thinks it’s boring, and she thinks just being a human amongst all these cool aliens is lame, and she kind of is under the impression everyone is judging her for it (they’re not)

don’t let this bitch around an visiting vulcans she will ask them about pon farr

she asks steph about “the phase” IMMEDIATELY (context: the phase is where mature betazoids suddenly become horny forever basically) and was like ‘is that going to happen even though ur only half??’ and steph, who had never heard about it, was HORRIFIED

met richie and pete in academy and thought they were so cool she needed them to be her friends or she’d die

they were both very okay with it 

they’re all buddies :)

she helps pete with any repairs when he gets damaged or something happens- she’s the only one he trusts to do anything other than himself 

(... she also wants to test if he’s actually ‘fully functional’... pete’s said no so far though :/)

spends hours on the holodeck

Richie: Andorian, Communications Officer

he’s not much of a fighter, despite being andorian, and initially wanted to go more into the artistic side of his culture but his fascination with other planets/cultures/people as well as the concept of ‘boldly going’ pushed him into joining starfleet

still draws/creates art in his free time tho

managed to be fluent in like forty different alien languages and the universal translator pisses him off in CONCEPT (even though it’s still incredibly helpful that he doesn’t Need it and is part of why he has his job)

he keeps his room freezing and pete’s the only one willing to hang out with him in it because he can’t get cold :) 

he’s mad he has to wear the red uniform because of his job >:( he’s blue why can’t he wear blue >:(

constantly gets in trouble for wearing increasingly non regulation layers over his uniform

single handedly caused the tribble outbreak on their starship

he’s banned from ground duty anytime they’re on a random planet because he gets over excited and keeps almost dying from getting straight up phaser-set-to-stunned (because he’s not only andorian but he’s a particularly fragile andorian like it doesn’t even need to be a phaser pistol just a normal phaser fucks him up)

also spends hours on the holodeck, often with ruth, and they like to drag pete with them even if he doesn’t really get it

[teddynivvy]

hiya!! i just wondered if you could tell the class your thoughts on ted throughout reader’s pregnancy? !! like telling him ur pregnant, how he’d be, at the scan etc!!! thank you so much💓

ahhh yes!!

i feel like ted would be sooo excited when you told him - like literally jumping up and down and picking you up and won’t stop hugging you

and he’s just gushing to everyone about how excited he is that you’re pregnant

would immediately go into dad mode even tho you’re only a few weeks along - like getting baby books and doing research and getting rid of all the food you can’t eat

would go sober with you in solidarity lmao

hands on your tummy all the time, even if it’s not even close to the time the baby can be felt kicking

picking out names together in a shared notes file on your phones

would immediately get a ton of pillows and blankets and comfy stuff for bed to make sure you’re always extra cozy :(

during the scans he’d keep being like “wow. that’s just so cool. wow. there’s a baby.”

would def get you all the pregnancy cravings, and tell you random pregnancy wive’s tales like “well if you’re craving sugar it’s probably a boy. oh you want pickles? maybe it’s a girl then”

also totally sweet when you accidentally snap at him or cry a lot, always comforting you even if your meltdown is just about your shoe not fitting or something lmao

always telling you how proud he is of you and how happy he is that you’re gonna be a mama :)

[generalkenobee]

Ted Theodore Logan Headcannons

This story contains NSFW headcannons and SFW headcannons

• The first time he sees you literal heart eyes-

•I mean you guys don't even have to be dating for him to not talk to other girls

•he thinks that it's disrespectful to even look at other girls now that you've officially introduced yourself to him

•talks about you all the time, to Bill, his dad, even Deacon

• literally looks at you like you're a fallen angel

• attached at. The. Hip. He never leaves you alone

•he'll walk you to every single one of your classes

•shares everything with you! He brought some gum to school? he brought 3 pieces (you, him, and Bill)

•he let's you pick his outfits when you ask

•compliments!!!

•you guys share clothes. Not in the way where he gives you his coats. I mean he'll take your socks 😭

•genuinely loves listening to you talk, he'll sit there for hours just staring while you talk about how practice is going or rehearsal, or just your day? He's all for it and ready to hear about it

•matching outfits...

•so many photos of you in his room...all over his bookshelf, his desk, even in his drawers

•he truly thinks you're the most beautiful woman he's ever seen

•I think he's low-key self conscious about not being very smart or good at sports, he thinks you can do better

•kisses no matter what, you haven't brushed your teeth yet? No problem, chapped lips? Ted literally could not care less, you could spit in his mouth and he'd be happy

•takes any kind of affection he can get

•I just know he gives the best hugs ever

•Tells Bill ALL about you

•doesn't pay attention in any classes except for health because he wants to learn about menstruation because you're always complaining about your 'period' so he wanted to know what it was (he got a c+ in heath and you were insanely proud of him)

•your parents don't like him because he's 'stupid' and you could 'do better', so he sneaks into your room almost every night

•has cried to you about his dad and how pressured he feels before

-NSFW-

•ok so I know not a lot of people will argue but like, hasn't even thought about actually having sex till you guys get together

•so so so thankful when you give him any sort of pleasure

•honestly submissive

•will finger you for hours on end

•doesn't like public sex, he doesn't want to do anything that could result in you being uncomfortable or exposed because he wants to be the only person to see you like that

•loves when you pull his hair

•giving you pleasure gives him pleasure

•came in his pants one time while eating you out

•the first sexual experience you had together was in his bed with you jerking him off and he finished in under a minute

•eye contact!!!!

•the first time you ever came around his cock he went absolutely fucking farel

If you have any ideas about Ted please share because I have lots more to say!!💕

[fitzells]

Evan Buckley and children. That’s it. That’s my TED Talk.

STOP IT 😭😭😭😭

he wants to be a dad so badly it hurts!!! and seeing how gentle he is with christopher and jee-yun (legitimately the world’s best found parent and uncle to them both) you just melt into yourself because you love him so much and want to give him all the babies!!!!!!!

and if you’re pregnant he’s always talking to and kissing your belly🥹🥹🥹🥹 and reading articles and sending you links to things that supposedly ease pregnancy pains and soothe both mum and baby🥹

I AM A GIRLDAD!BUCK TRUTHER OKAY!!!!! because he just emits that energy to me i can’t deny it any longer… with a newborn he’s cuddling non stop, changing her, feeding her, staying up all night just to help you out because you deserve all the rest in the world!!! buck is 100% in awe of how you grew a human inside of you and will not allow you to lift a finger where ever possible

also he’s such an involved dad who would never ever dream of making his child grow up in an environment that made them feel anything close to how he felt growing up. he’s putting 100% of his effort into being the best partner and dad so his family can have such a cosy happy little life (MY HEART IS BREAKING AND HEALING SIMULTANEOUSLY)

ballet recitals/soccer games/school plays/music concerts … you name it he’s there!!!!! no matter what his child grows up to be he is just so happy!!! and proud!!!!! of his baby!!!!! 

okay night give buck all the babies pls (send me more buck thoughts before i burst i love him)

[jamiesfootball]

A not-as-long addition to the Ted Lasso: Coach Shaped or Dad Shaped Thesis

When it comes to Ted wildly fluctuating between being Coach Shaped and Dad Shaped with the people around him, Jamie isn’t the only one who had trouble distinguishing what side of the stick was swinging for him. Nate struggled with it too.

Nate’s is a comedic introduction but one that explains him perfectly- he’s high strung, anal retentive, lacks self confidence, is afraid to speak out, and he (rightfully) assumes he’s such a non-person that no one knows his name (which is an underdog trope in media, but a self-fulfilling prophecy in real life, but I digress.

“What was that? Sorry I have a hard time listening to people who don’t believe in themselves. Now is this plan going to work?”

So here comes Ted with his people skills and human decency and he clocks Nate pretty quickly. It’s not long before he’s giving Nate the same Ted-isms he gives the boys on the team. It’s very Coach of him. But to Nate it’s not that simple. It’s Personal Attention, and it’s falling like rain after forty years of drought. It’s clearly the first time in a long time that anyone’s put any effort into Nate - including Nate.

And don’t get me started on Nate’s age, because the actor is past 40 and the thought of Nate working as a kitman for what was likely fucking…..years, so close to his dream job but so irrelevant to the people around him. Going home to his parents and whichever sibling-with-kids. Taking all the little jabs from his dad on the chin. His mother being sweet but placating in regards to his dad’s dismissals. Having nothing to celebrate with them that isn’t a holiday or birthday, because he’s not done anything with himself worth being proud of.

He borrowed his dad’s suit to the gala, and Ted took one look at it and went ‘that’s not good enough for you. Let’s sort this out’

His own dad was fine with Nate not trying- in that he withholds all hid expectations and then judges Nate when he fails to meet them. But then there’s Ted, and his expectations of Nate are sky high, clearly spoken, and he wants to help Nate get there.

So yeah, to Nathan Shelley Ted Lasso was very very Dad Shaped.

Nate finally got his big Want - becoming one of the coach’s - but it’s afterwards that things spiraled, and it’s entirely because from Nathan’s pov he saw Ted’s affection drying up. There was this guy who spent a whole year talking and building him up, and then all the sudden he peeks behind him and no one’s holding the bicycle seat. Ted’s still down the street and he’s looking the other way- at Roy, at Jamie, at Sam. So Nate doubles-down on what he thinks made him Great in the first place- his sharp mind and cutting analytics. His ability to not be too impressed by the professional athletes around him. But he keeps doing it Wrong somehow, because Ted isn’t looking at him with approval. He’s just watching Nate, and occasionally shaking his head like he’s disappointed.

It’s so Nate’s Dad Shaped he could scream.

Ted gave him a whistle - a loud signifier of power on the field - and then when Nate wasn’t looking, he replaced it with an indoor whistle. Because Nate kept using the loud whistle too loudly. Because Nate doesn’t understand when and where to use it, just like he doesn’t know yet how and when he should use his own powers as a leader.

Roy doesn’t even need a whistle. Roy comes back and just shouts ‘whistle!’ and it’s the same if not more effective than Nate’s whistle ever was. No one had to give Roy power.

So yeah. Ted Lasso built him up the way his dad never did, and then turned away like his dad always did the second Nate did something wrong. Of course he was Dad Shaped to Nate. How could he not be?

This, if anything, is almost tangible proof that Nate never played team sports as a kid, and it’s heartbreaking because it means Nate missed all the signs in season one that Ted never set out to be a substitute father to Nate.

Ted was Coaching him, deliberately, to join him as a Coach.

He looks at Nate and he sees someone whip-smart and brimming with potential and he doesn’t think twice about testing him out. Springing questions like pop quizzes, making moments for Nate to step up and shine. He arguably doesn’t even see how much Nate is struggling past a surface level (he never sees how Nate interacts with his family). Ted has one true victory at the end of season one, and it’s that he got Nate up to Assistant Coach. And don’t forget that for Ted being a Coach is his life’s work, he loves it.

He very likely did not imagine that that wouldn’t be enough for some people.

And so throughout season two we have this dissolution between Ted and Nate. Nate keeps waiting for Ted to step back up to the plate and guide him; and Ted keeps waiting for Nate to figure out what Coach Nate looks like. Of course Ted won’t step in, just the same as he wouldn’t step on Beard’s toes. The same that he’ll remark to Roy that he’s supposed to be coaching Jamie too, but ultimately won’t step in the middle of them working out their (many many) issues. He respects them all as Coach too much to interfere.

The tragedy of it all is that they both missed the forest for the trees. They were so focused on the roles they could play in each other’s lives, that it wasn’t until the dust settled that the actual role they played in each other’s lives became apparent.

They were friends.

Not the same way that Beard and Ted are friends, which is all friendship wrapped in a blanket of “Coach” “Coach”. Not friendship the way that Ted is still having to pull Roy to the side and Coach him on Coaching, while Roy keeps Ted abay by being miles ahead at being a well-adjusted person who understands themself. But all friendship isn’t meant to be the same, and what Ted and Nate had was built on its own foundation of respect and genuinely liking the other person.

Theirs is a friendship break up, and it hurts to watch.

[marvelling-at-marvel-blog]

The thing about S1 Jamie that I think is interesting is I think on rewatch there is some insight as to why Jamie went so hard on the bullying of Sam. (Not gonna be defending Jamie's treatment of Sam just looking into maybe why). Because out of all of the things Jamie did is season one. The one that seems hardest to understand or really forgive is his treatment of Sam. The first time around, you couldn't understand it. Sam is legitimately the kindest man in existence. (I know as a stroyteller it was the easiest way to really get us to dislike Jamie and really make us more understanding of Roy's treatment of Jamie which to be frank is not great and understand Ted's fruatrations with him) and Sam just keeps trying with Jamie.

But know I think it far to say thay S1 Jamie was jealous of Sam and his easy going, happy, postive nature. I dont think he was aware of it though.

Season 1 Jamie is so interesting because on paper, he had everything he thought he wanted. But I dint think he was overally happy. But yeah it seemed to be all his way

1. He played for the team he grew up supporting and dreamed of playing for. I imagine his first time stepping on that fiels in that uniform would have been monumental. Sure, maybe he wasn't a starter, but he got some minutes and the unspken agreement that in a few years, he would be a star.

2. I imagine he was initially disappointed to be loaned out, but then he learns he is being loaned to Richmond. Yeah they suck, but he gets to play a full 90 minutes, is basically going to be the best player, kick most of thier goals and he gets to be team mates with Roy Kent (he dreamed of playing against him one day, with him is a dream come true, I really think pre show Jamie would have been so excited to play with Roy Kent and was so disappointed in how it turned out). Plus, it has the added advantage of getting him away from his dad. And once his done his loan, he can come back to Manchester. This is his chance to get away from it for a while and be the star

3. He meets and gets to date Keely Jones who his always had a crush on. Dhe is literally a dream girl for him

So he should be happy right. His got everything he wanted, but it's not going the way he expected because.....

1. Roy Kent hates him (in my mind Roy was standoffish from the start, heres come this whizkid who was everything he used to be and slowly losing. I think Jamie came in at 100% and immediatley put Roy on the back foot). Jamie tries with Roy but the more it doesnt work the more Jamie goes OK, if I cant make him like me I will show him I am better than him. Hence the beginning of that relationship.

2. Yeah his away from his dad and his killing it at Richmond, scoring their goals, winning them matches but it only seems to be winning over half the team (he can't see yet his attitude is what is stopping the other guys from liking him). And the team still isn't doing great even with him. Plus he may be away from his Dad but his relationship with his mum feels like it in a werid place which sucks cause she is his favourite person ever.

3. And Keeley seems to be where its going right but sometimes it feels like his a bit of a project for her. And I think he has heard people (like Roy) question why she is with him.

And let's face it, he is still likely hearing from his dad when he doesn't perform up to his standards.

And then heres Sam. Who (at this point in time) isn't playing well, isn't scoring goals, not massively contributing to thier wins and yet he seems so genuinely happy all the time and everyone loves him, Roy Kent seems to like him and is friendly with him, complimenting him (which he has never done to Jamie). Sam is so open and kind he has probably talked about his dad in the locker room, and his relationship with his family seems perfect and that must gnaw at Jamie because all he ever wanted is to make his dad proud and his pretty sure he will never achieve it because the man is a d***k who is impossoble to please, yet Jamie never stops trying and things are werid with his mum which he hates. But all he hears when its brought up from Sam is how great his family is.

Then along comes the new gaffer who Jamie can't even understand why he is coaching, but he also seems to love Sam and wants him to be the decoy so Sam can kick the goal. Even though Jamie knows if he kicks it, it will go in.

Now we all know the reason Sam is liked is because he is an amazing, kind hearted, dedicated person, but I think S1 Jamie is so jealous and does not even know it.

Because S1 Jamie is still living with the notion that being the best in the most important thing ( thank you James Tartt Sr) so to Jamie he is out here busting his ass at training to be the best, scoring all the goals yet Sam seems to be the one who is living what he thought his dream time at Richmond was going to be. And I know I mention it but I think it is a big thing for Jamie, the harder he tries the more Roy seems to despise him, and take enjoyment in his embarrassment.

And S1 Jamie in all maturity handles his jealously by trying to make Sam feel as bad as he is feeling. Which Jamie, baby. That's kindergarten mentality. And poor Sam actually thinks Jamie is a great player and would love to learn from him in the beginning and isnt having a great time either.

But yeah. I dont think Jamie ever disliked Sam. I think he was insanly jealous of him all the time and didn't know how to handle that or even admit it himself.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Apologies for my rambles.

[valdomarx]

going off script

a roy/jamie finale fixit, for @welcomemysentence

Jamie hasn’t been able to stop fidgeting all day, nervous excitement running through him like electricity.

It’s just a beer, he tells himself.

A beer that Roy invited him for, the two of them out together like mates. They’ve never done that before.

Jamie’s leg bounces against the wood of the barstool, his energy spilling out in the jiggling movement, and he tries to distract himself with his drink.

He's wearing his favourite hoodie, well worn and soft inside. A girl once told him he looked loveable in it. He's been called hot or sexy or fit more times than he can remember, but that was the only time he's ever been called that.

He pulls the cuffs down over his hands and stuffs his hopes deep into his sleeves.

They sit close, even though there's plenty of space around them. Their knees are pressed together under the bar, and Roy doesn't shy away. He likes being close enough to touch, and it's things like that which make Jamie wonder if...

It doesn't matter. It's stupid. Jamie lifts his beer and drains it in almost one go.

“Whatever happens on Saturday,” Roy says, and crinkles appear at the corner of his eyes, “I want you to know I'm proud of you.”

Jamie glows at that, more so because he knows Roy means it. It soothes something inside him to hear it said aloud, but it’s a plaster over the voracious, gaping hole in his chest that’s always wanting more. He pushes that greedy part of himself away and reminds himself he should be grateful for what he gets.

So he rags on Roy for being old, and that makes Roy rolls his eyes, and that feels good. Feels natural.

“Real talk, man. Thank you.” They knock their beers together.

He can do this. They can be friendly. It’ll be fun.

“So how’s things with you?”

Roy looks at his beer. “I'm trying to get back with Keeley.”

That hurts, a dull ache like an old sprain that never healed right, but it’s a familiar sort of pain. It occurs to Jamie to ask, “Why, though?”

Roy blinks, and he looks taken aback. “Because… because it’s Keeley, innit? She’s amazing.”

“Of course she is. She’s fucking incredible, we both know that. I’ll always love her, and I guess you will too. But what I’m asking is: why do you want to be with her?”

There’s a pause which stretches a beat too long, before Roy says, “We were good together.”

“You were, yeah.” Jamie puts a slight emphasis on the second word.

Roy catches it and furrows his brow.

“It just seems right, doesn’t it? That her and I should end up together.”

He sounds uncertain. Jamie makes a noncommittal hum.

“It's like - that's what everybody wants from me. They've decided how my life is going to go. I'm Roy Kent, so I gotta try and win back Keeley. Right?”

“Since when do you do what other people want?”

Roy huffs something that could be a laugh.

“Isn't there anything you feel like you have to do?” Roy asks. “Like there's a path laid out for you and you have no choice but to follow it?”

Jamie sucks in a breath. “Well. There's my dad.”

Roy mumbles something under his breath that sounds like cockend.

“Because everyone knows what a dick he is, but I still have to forgive him or some shit. I gotta pretend like everything’s fine now, because he’s making some tiny bit of effort to sort his life out and I have to pat him on the back for it. Pretend like he didn’t make my life hell, because that's the story people want to hear, innit? The one they're comfortable with. Forgiveness and happy families and all that shit. It's what people expect.”

“Well fuck that and fuck them,” Roy says without a trace of hesitation.

Jamie drags a finger through the condensation on the bar. “Ted told me I ought to forgive him. Said it would be for my own good, not his.”

Roy tips his head, thoughtful. “If anger at him isn’t serving you, you should let it go. But that doesn't mean you have to be nice to the horrendous prick.”

Jamie fingers are still fidgeting, and he picks at the label of his beer. “He asked me to visit him in rehab.”

Roy looks sideways at him. “Do you want to see him?”

A pit of ice cold horror opens in Jamie's chest at the thought. “Fuck no.”

“Then don't. You don't owe him shit. Not your time or your effort or your support.” Roy taps on the bar to underline his point. “He isn’t your family just because he’s related to you. Your family is the people who care about you and look out for you. It’s your mum and your stepdad, and me and Keeley and the team, and Ted and Beard and Rebecca. Even Nate, I guess. And we got you.”

Something in Jamie's body unclenches at that, like he can finally breathe. It feels like a 10-stone weight has been lifted off his shoulders. “So I don't have to follow the script?”

“Nope.”

He looks over at Roy.

“But you do?”

Roy fidgets. “It's not the same.”

“I know it’s not. But still. You’re allowed to make your own choices. You don’t have to live the life that other people think you ought to.”

Roy frowns. “Truth is, if I don’t do that - if I’m not Roy fucking Kent, football legend, and if I’m not grouchily supportive boyfriend to Keeley fucking Jones - I have no idea who the fuck I am.”

Jamie takes everything he wants to say, about how Roy is so much more than his fame or his past, about how he’s caring and smart and an incredible coach, about the beautiful person who shines out from beneath the layers of bullshit, and carefully sets it aside. It’s not the right time for that.

He thinks instead about what it means to be supportive, and how you express that, and what would help Roy now. He thinks about that, and he channels Ted. “Maybe it isn’t about already knowing who you are. Maybe it’s about trying things, and failing at some of them, and succeeding at others, and learning who you are along the way.”

Roy frowns. “I wouldn’t know how to start.”

Jamie very much wants to reach over and take his hand. He doesn’t.

“Let’s start at the beginning then. What do you want?”

Roy shoulders tense up at that.

“No, mate, I’m not trying to trick you or get in your head or make you spill your guts or anything. I’m just asking what makes you happy. Coaching? Looking after Phoebe? Travel? Kebabs?”

That makes Roy chuckle. “Yeah, all of those. I love all those things.”

He takes a swing of beer. Jamie watches his throat work as he swallows.

“And.” Roy turns to face him, an unfamiliar hesitancy in his voice. “And you.”

Jamie's mind goes completely blank.

“You make me happy.”

This should be the point where Jamie says something meaningful or profound or some shit. But he can hardly think for the wanting, the great shapeless thing inside him which he keeps shoving down but which only comes back bigger and hungrier, and which is now ballooning until it’s stuck in his throat.

“I love coaching you. I love that you’re up for anything, even when it’s ridiculous, and that you actually listen to me, and that you work hard because it matters to you. I love watching you play, I really fucking do. But it ain’t even about that. It’s because you’re fun, and funny, and you give me shit but you also give a shit about the people around you. Because you can admit when you’re wrong, which is more than I’ve ever been able to do, and you work to be better. You’re a kind, decent person, Jamie Tartt, and you’re very easy to love.”

Jamie feels like he might shatter, like if Roy says one more thing or lays a single finger on him then he’ll fall into a million pieces.

“Because I think I do know what I want. But it’s something I can’t have.” Roy sits back on his stool, armed crossed defensively, and doesn’t look Jamie in the eye.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” The words burst from Jamie’s mouth without any intervention from his brain. Roy looks up sharply, his expression hurt. “I’ve wanted you since I was ten years old. At first I thought I wanted to be you. Then I got older and realised I wanted to impress you. Then I met you, and yeah, I’ll be honest, I hated you for a while there, cause you were a right prick.”

Roy actually smiles at that.

“But then I got to know you, and fuck, Roy. All that time you were with Keeley, it really bothered me. I knew me and Keeley weren’t getting back together and it still made me ache, and I couldn’t figure out why. But I know now, and I don’t know how I could make it any clearer.” He inhales a quick breath. “You can have me any way you like.”

Jamie’s brain catches up with what his mouth has let slip, just as Roy stands up so suddenly that his stool crashes to the floor. He opens his mouth to say sorry or to take it back, but then Roy’s hands are in his hair and he’s crushing their lips together, and Jamie finally lets himself take what he wants. Roy kisses him like he’s on fire with it, and the shapeless thing lodged in Jamie’s chest comes surging out through his hands and his eyes and his mouth, everywhere they’re touching alight with sensation.

Kissing Roy is even better than he’d imagined. The prickle of his beard again his face, the way his fingers flex in Jamie’s hair like he wants to pull him even closer. Even when they break for air, Roy stays right in his space like he wants to live there.

Wanting and being wanted. Choosing and being chosen. A path ahead that they build themselves, brick by brick.

A bubble of joy comes gushing out of Jamie as a giggle. “This isn’t how the script goes.”

He feels Roy's smile against his lips and the rumble of his laughter against his chest.

“Fuck the script.”

[dizzyduck44]

I remember years ago the Sky Sports team used to talk about how Lando as an F1 reserve would come down to the bar of the hotel to sit and talk with them. He was too young to go out out, his Dad was’t there, he hadn’t made friends in F1 yet so he either tagged onto them or McLaren’s PR team as it was better than being alone.

They got to know him so well over that time. You can see how he really gelled with Ted, Karun and Natalie, when they talk to him on air it’s so relaxed and comfortable and Simon knew he was always up for a laugh. They became super protective of him.

Yesterday showed all that. The Lie Detector test. Simon and Russ were having a great time. Then post race, did they talk about anyone else? The post from Natalie was adorable.

Despite the fact the seem to have spent all of 2023 and 2024 so far shitting on him, almost delighting in Oscar out qualifying him, but when it came down to it, that had a dozen montages ready to go, the kind you would expect when someone won their first Championship. They were all clearly excited and delighted for him.

He might not be sitting in the bar with them anymore but they still feel he is one of them. They feel like proud parents (I mean come on they live zoom called his Dad for eff same!)

And it’s almost like it fell in storybook form. Nico telling him last race that it’s coming, then the lie detector, can you win a race this year, Yes!. A few hours later he had done it. Script writers would be accused of being unrealistic 😂

Bonus points to Lando for being a Ted’s Notebook fan and exposing George and Alex as great drivers and shit at every other sport on the planet 😂

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

"Good Girl"

Smutober Week 3

Prompt: In the car

Character: Roy Kent (Ted Lasso)

2.5k words

Warnings: Age gap (reader is university age, Roy is in his 40s), Dad's Friend trope, blowjob, praise kink maybe?

A/N: This one got away from me a bit because I looooove this premise for Roy. Enjoy! 😝

You kept your smile plastered on as your dad bragged about you for the millionth time that night. Here you were, surrounded by absolute football legends, and he felt like telling his former teammates all about what you were studying in uni was the most important thing in the world.

It sounded like a fun weekend when he invited you. One of his former teammates was inviting a bunch of people for a big party, a reunion of sorts, and your dad, an icon in his own right, invited you to join him. Wanted to show off his kid to his friends, he’d said. So, your Saturday night was spent shaking hands with famous footballers and pretending that it wasn’t embarrassing to hear your dad repeat your accomplishments over and over.

Just as you were debating asking him for the keys to drive back to the hotel most of the retired players were staying at, the sounds of shouting came from the side gate that led to the backyard party.

“He’s here! He’s there! He’s every-fucking-where!”

Heat flooded your body. Roy Kent. You spent your entire life hearing about the gruff footballer, all about how your father was one of the few people he actually liked, and how your father was incredibly proud of Roy’s career; he saw the man like a younger brother of sorts, although the two rarely got to see each other anymore. Although you never met, you’d harbored a crush on him for years, blushing every time your father mentioned him and putting up his poster in your bedroom.

And hell if he didn’t look good tonight. Black slacks that hugged his lower half beautifully, black button-down shirt that revealed that thick chest hair, and a smirk that had your mouth watering. As he shook someone’s hand, his eyes found yours. For a moment, his gaze flittered down your figure, eyebrows raising as he went.

Roy Kent was looking at you like he wanted to devour you.

Your breath became shallow as you quickly turned around, pretending to busy yourself with grabbing a drink. Although you’d initially been thrilled at the idea of finally meeting Roy Kent, actually seeing him- and seeing the scandalous way he looked at you- had you dreading the moment your dad would say-

“Roy! There you are!”

When you lifted your gaze, your father was giving Roy a one-armed hug, laughing as Roy embraced him back. He turned to you, pride shining on his face as he presented you like a prize. “Here she is, my pride and joy,” your dad announced.

Even with your dad right there, Roy couldn’t help the way his eyes flickered from your face to your body. Obviously, he knew who you were; your dad was incredibly proud of you and always managed to bring you up on the rare occasion they talked. And like all dads, he bragged about you being the most beautiful young woman in the world. But nothing could prepare Roy for the desire he felt as he stood in front of you, nor for the guilt that came with checking you out.

Instead of one of the dozen dirty little thoughts that sprinted through his mind, Roy simply shook your hand, wearing that wicked smile of his. “Nice to finally meet you. I have-” He cleared his throat. “-heard a lot about you.”

You couldn’t resist giving his hand a squeeze before letting go. “Heard a lot about you too,” you murmured. “Mostly from tabloids though,” you teased.

His dark chuckle had you pressing your thighs together. “Can’t believe everything you read,” he countered, something sparkling in those brown eyes.

Your dad’s friendly hand on your shoulder reminded you where you were. “But you can believe whatever you read about Roy Kent.” His voice was jovial, full of laughter, as if his old teammate wasn’t mentally undressing his daughter. “This man was quite the troublemaker way back when. I spent more time kicking his butt back in line than kicking the football.” He nodded to Roy. “Let’s get you a drink and sit, we’ve got some serious catching up to do, Roy-o.”

That’s how you ended up sitting at a table in the far corner of the yard next to Roy Kent, sipping your drink while you listened to him joke and reminisce with your dad across from you. Every time Roy laughed, his knee bumped yours, sending a jolt of electricity through your body each time. And you swore each time, he left his leg pressed to yours for longer periods before moving back into his space, slyly quirking his eyebrow at you each time.

Finally, your dad stood, announcing that he was grabbing another round. The moment he was gone, Roy turned to look at you, the corner of his mouth turning upwards.

“Shame we never met before,” he hummed, his eyes boldly exploring your body. “Your dad been hiding you from me or something?”

“Does he have reason to?” you countered, leaning towards him. “Is everything I read about you true, Mister Kent?”

His eyes flickered to your mouth before holding your gaze firmly. “Depends what you’ve read.” He glanced across the yard, making sure your dad was occupied with talking to someone else by the drinks. Satisfied, Roy leaned forward and brought his mouth close to your ear. “The curve? Down there?” he whispered, his breath tickling your skin. “Just something I do with my hips.”

You let out a quiet groan as he leaned back, smirk on his lips. “Do you give demonstrations?” you murmured, wondering where the hell your audacity came from. Probably from between your legs, if you were being honest.

Roy’s eyes lit up sinfully. But before he could give you an answer, your dad returned with drinks for everyone, none the wiser to the heat radiating between you and the Chelsea legend twenty years your senior. As if he hadn’t just told you about his famous dick, Roy returned to chatting with your father, all charm and innocence. This time, however, his fingers ghosted over your thigh under the table, tracing a hot trail on your bare skin.

After a couple more rounds and clandestine looks from Roy, your dad suggested that the two of you start heading back to the hotel. Your heart sank; you weren’t ready to leave the man sitting next to you.

Apparently, he wasn’t ready for you to leave either.

“Let the kid stay,” Roy suggested. “She’s young, she’s having a good time. Don’t make her be on your old man sleep schedule.” He winked at you playfully, an innocent gesture in your dad’s eyes. “I can take her back to the hotel with me when I leave.”

Your dad’s gaze shifted to your hopeful face. “Wanna stay?” When you nodded eagerly, he laughed and turned back to Roy. “Well, guess she’s staying. Take good care of her, alright, Kent?” He raised his eyebrows at his former teammate jokingly. “And behave. None of your usual nonsense.”

Roy pretended to look offended. “Don’t you trust me?” The innocence on his face contrasted deliciously with the way he flattened his palm on your thigh, fingers inching towards the hem of your dress.

“Absolutely not,” your dad laughed, blissfully unaware of the way Roy tugged your dress up ever so slightly. “You be a good boy, Kent, you hear?”

It was a fucking challenge, keeping a straight face as Roy’s fingertip found the edge of your panties. “Abso-fucking-lutely,” he lied. “Drive safe, alright mate?”

With an oblivious wave, your father was gone, clueless to the obscene thoughts Roy Kent was having about his precious daughter. Roy turned to look at you, face darkened with lust as he toyed with the quickly dampening material of your underwear.

“I notice he didn’t tell you to behave,” he purred. “Are you always a good girl, then?”

Desperate to look cool in front of the most tempting man you’d ever met, you simply leaned your elbow on the table, helping him hide the way he played under your dress. “Oh, of course,” you said in a syruopy voice. “I always respect my elders, Roy.”

“What happened to Mister Kent?” He chuckled. “Your daddy leaves, and you suddenly forget your manners, young lady?”

“Guess I did,” you sighed dramatically, as if you weren’t imaging what you’d look like beneath him. “You going to remind me of my manners, Mister Kent?”

He let out a soft growl and glanced around. “Don’t think I can do that here,” he murmured. He cleared his throat and leaned back, taking his hand back, leaving you with a pout on your lips. “Finish your drink. We can… go for a drive.”

As you sipped your drink, trying not to appear too eager, you watched Roy out of the corner of your eye. He was gazing at you hungrily. If you saw that wolfish look on another man’s face, you’d be walking away as quickly as possible. But because it was Roy fucking Kent looking at you like he wanted to bend you over the plastic table you sat at, you batted your eyelashes and showed him your now-empty cup.

With a curt nod, Roy stood. “Let’s go.”

He tossed you the keys, mumbling something about saying goodbye to the hosts. You made your way out of the yard, mumbling goodbyes to your father’s friends, men you’d known forever, either personally or through stories and photos. Finally, you left the party behind, walking briskly towards the street. You pressed the button on Roy’s key, revealing the location of his car, a giant, black vehicle that you climbed inside.

You nearly jumped out of your skin when Roy abruptly opened the driver’s side door and climbed in; the amused grin on his face told you he noticed. “Did I fucking scare you?” he teased as he started the car.

“Only a little.” Partly thanks to the alcohol, partly thanks to the darkness of the car, you felt emboldened to place your hand on his thigh, holding back a moan when you felt the flexed muscle through his trousers.

He fucking squirmed.

“How’s school?” he asked, eyes on the road as he gripped the steering wheel. “Your dad said you were, uh, studying…” His eyes flickered to your hand as it travelled further up his thigh. “Studying…”

You knew your grin was absolutely smug as you inched towards the growing bulge in his pants. “Alright there, Mister Kent?”

“Fucking hell,” he breathed. He was rapidly losing the upper hand and didn’t care one bit. “Thought you were a good girl?”

“I think I’m being a very good girl,” you teased, wrapping your hand around his clothed length. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

A growl escaped his throat. “I think,” he started slowly, his voice thick with desire, “that you are going to cause a fucking car accident, you menace.”

You giggled and began stroking him through his pants. “Guess you better hurry up and get us to the hotel, hmm?” Watching him press his body harshly against his seat had you wriggling in your own seat. And feeling how hard- how thick- Roy Kent was definitely had you making a mess in the panties he’d been playing with earlier.

“Oh fuck this.”

With a jerk of the steering wheel, Roy made a sharp turn, one that had your seatbelt digging into your skin. He swiftly found a secluded parking spot at the end of a dark, empty street and turned off the car. He turned on you, seizing your wrist, freezing your hand mid-stroke.

“Are you done playing around?” he growled. “Done teasing me?” He raised his eyebrows. “Are you just making a fool out of an old man, or are you going to fucking do something?”

Your entire body trembled with anticipation. “What did you have in mind?”

With a devilish smirk, Roy released your wrist; the delicious sound of a zipper hit your ears. After a moment of wriggling down his pants and boxers, Roy grabbed you gently by your hair and eased your face to his hard cock. Feeling dirty and greedy, you parted your lips, groaning as you welcomed him into your eager mouth.

The car was filled with the sounds of Roy’s growling moans, your muffled whines, and the sloppy wet sound of you swirling his cock with your tongue. Roy kept his grip on your hair, pulling it back so he could watch you in the moonlight.

“Guess you are a good girl,” he grunted. “A very fucking good girl.”

He lifted his hips, thrusting into your mouth. When his tip hit the back of your throat, you couldn’t help but reach down between your legs to rub your clit through your soaked panties. How many times had you touched yourself like this as you imagined Roy Kent and his gorgeous cock? Here, in this monstrous black car, you were living your wildest sexual fantasies. And fuck, when you felt him throb against your tongue, you felt sure you’d wake up from this dream at any moment.

Roy let out a shuddering breath when you used your free hand to stroke the part of him that didn’t fit in your mouth. “This what they’re teaching you at uni?” he taunted. “How to suck cock?” A lewd moan slipped past his lips. “Because you’re way too fucking good at this for a good girl.”

You pulled off of him with a pop, catching your breath as you lapped at his tip, tasting his delicious precum. He dropped his head back against the headrest with a content sigh, stroking your hair softly. When you let your tongue glide down the vein on the side of his shaft, he twitched in your hand, leaking more precum that you quickly sucked up.

Still feeling greedy, you wrapped your lips around him again, moaning around him when he bucked up into your mouth. He tightened his grip on your hair, giving a harsh tug, as he continued to drive up into your drooling mouth, loving the sound of your muffled gags and moans.

“Does my good girl want a fucking treat?” he huffed with a particularly severe thrust. “Gonna come in your mouth, pretty thing.”

His hips stuttered as your mouth filled with his salty release, warm and satisfying all the way down your throat. You hollowed your cheeks, sucking and swallowing every last bit, savoring your reward, your treat.

Roy gave a rough tug, pulling you off of him. You gazed at him, eyes wide and wild, slobber running down your chin, lips shiny and swollen.

Fuck, he thought you looked beautiful.

“Did so well for me,” Roy cooed, wiping the drool off your lower lip. “Think you could let me drive back to the hotel in peace now, hmm?” With a tight grip on your face, he pressed a harsh kiss to your mouth, tangling his tongue with yours.

You pulled back breathlessly, nodding. “Only if you take me back to your room,” you whispered. “Fucking… fucking want more of you.”

“Oh don’t worry,” he chuckled. “When we get there, you can show me how bad a good girl can be.”

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

Worbs

Share, ankle, head, or wrist?

Thank you for the worbs by wonderful friend <3

Share from thought i wanted love ('til you showed me what it was):

Four days later, James still hadn’t left.  After that first sleepless night, Jamie came up with a plan—one that allowed him to forgive his father, one Ted would be proud of him for. Jamie offered his house, and as long as James continued to attend AA meetings, he could stay. A change of scenery had helped Jamie; why wouldn’t it help James? His father ensconced himself in Jamie’s spare room, and it was fine.  It would be fine.  He would take it day by day, just like his father said they did in AA.  Jamie spent his second sleepless night debating whether he should tell anyone about his Dad. He definitely couldn’t tell Mummy. Maybe he could tell some of the team, though? Sam wouldn’t judge him, but he wasn’t sure he could handle their pitying faces. But he didn’t have to decide now, did he? He could always tell them later. Maybe his Dad would leave after a few days, and there wouldn’t even be anything to share.

I got 112 words on the sprint <3

Ankle from the home invasion fic:

“We found a safe in the basement. You’re going to unlock it for us.” The two began to drag Jamie towards the wall, only for his ankle to give out on him the first time he transferred weight to it. He would’ve crashed to the floor if he wasn’t being held upright. Jamie could feel where the bruises from their grip on his arms would be.  “There’s nothing in it, please,” Jamie begged. “Please just let me stay here. I’ll give you the code you can see for yourself. It’s just like my birth certificate and shit. A copy of my contract. Nothing worth anything. It’s just fireproof.” “Forgive me if I don’t believe you, mate. Let’s go.” Jamie had one last chance to make a break for it. 

Added 163 words on a sprint!

Head from it makes me mad, it makes me sad, i break in half:

Roy followed closely but went immediately to the tub, turning the knob and testing the water before rummaging for bubbles under Jamie’s sink. Jamie watched with interest as he filled the tub with the bubbles and then added Epsom salts. Roy disappeared, and Jamie slowly peeled his t-shirt off. It hurt to lift it over his head, and Jamie wasn’t sure he’d be able to lift his arm on the side with the bruised ribs. He slipped from his shorts as Roy re-entered the bathroom, holding a cup, a couple of towels and a face cloth.  “What’re you doing, mate?” Jamie asked.  “Going to help you,” Roy said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

And added 193 words via sprint!

Wrist from if i glued myself shut, you would find your way in:

Jamie concentrates on watching Monroe the rest of the match while keeping to his position as best he could. The good news is Monroe isn’t as keen to stay in his position and keeps drifting to Jamie knocking into him at any point or attempting to tackle him. Monroe is angry, but Jamie’s angry and fast, so most of his attempts don’t succeed.  But as the match ticks on, each step jars Jamie’s wrist, and the pain is zapping his energy, Jamie can feel the adrenaline leaving his body as he struggles to keep up with his team and opponent. It’s injury time when Monroe finally catches Jamie flat-footed, and Jamie goes down hard, rolling a few stops. The refs award a free kick, and Jamie struggles to remember to breathe, feeling as if a knife has somehow embedded itself in his wrist and thumb. 

And I added 404 words in a sprint!

[rhondafromhr]

More ideas/headcanons for the ‘Nerds Corruption AU’

Link to the original post for those who aren’t familiar: https://www.tumblr.com/rhondafromhr/738012368733356032/dont-get-me-wrong-i-love-max-redemption-arcs-in

-The LIB adopt their human forms after the first time Max, Steph and the nerds summon them and RELENTLESSLY make fun of their true/eldritch forms. “our real forms would melt your minds” yeah sure whatever you need to tell yourself Pokey

-Tinky tries to use having Ted in the bastard box as leverage against Pete, but he just doesn’t care because that’s not his brother, it’s some other Pete’s brother from another timeline so it’s not his problem.

-Once everyone in the group starts acting like an agressive bully the way Max does, Grace finds herself attracted to all of them and has a crisis over it.

-At some point Max tries to apologize for before (“sorry for bullying you guys all these years, you never deserved that, everyone we’re currently bullying does but you didn’t.”) Now that they’re all literal monsters too they just dismiss him like “don’t apologize, we get it now, the power trip is fucking awesome!“

-Max’s signature move of using anti-bullying slogans to justify and get away with bullying is their favorite. They always tell Max how smart he is for coming up with it.

-They decide Kyle can date Brenda now but plot twist! Brenda leaves him for Ruth. Ruth taunts him for this every chance she gets and purposely makes out with Brenda in locations where he’ll have to walk by. Cue Kyle sobbing in the bathroom while Jason comforts him, leading to one of very few sweet, wholesome scenes we get in this universe.

-Ruth is confident enough to perform now, which obviously means they need to sabotage the lead in The Barbecue Monologues so she can take the role. They either just straight up intimidate them into quitting or frame them for vandalizing the school and get them expelled.

-One day Pete randomly remembers the time Brad Callahan pantsed him and he and the rest of the crew just drop what they’re doing to go beat him up. When they get called into principal Blim’s office they tell him they did it because Brad was picking on Hannah Foster earlier (“what do you want us to do? Stand by and do nothing? Being a bystander is just as bad as bullying, we learned that at the anti-bullying assembly!”) Brad has been known to do that so he believes them and lets them off with a warning. When word gets around people actually do mess with Hannah a lot less.

- (already mentioned this in a separate post but I’ll put it here too) after graduation Max, Steph + the nerds run an anime/comic book store together and Richie’s the only one who knows or cares about any of it. He’s rude and condescending to customers, everyone else is not knowledgeable and completely unhelpful, Grace tells every customer they need to go read a bible instead. They have like 1.5 stars on yelp but stay in business because the next closest similar store is in Clivesdale so nobody’s going to go there

-At some point Linda Monroe comes in and sees the gang being rude to Becky Barnes, so of course she takes an instant liking to them. She becomes an investor in the store and sort of a mother figure to all of them. She encourages their bad behavior, giving them tips for manipulating people in a more sophisticated way. Max and Steph get especially attached to her (the three bond over their dad issues) and they go to her house once a week to drink wine and and hear all the hot gossip about Linda’s rich frienemies.

-When Roman finds out about Linda’s new investment he comes to check out the store and he’s as icy towards her as usual. True to form, Max, Steph and the nerds say the rudest, most out of pocket stuff to him (Richie goes after his appearance HARD, not realizing the irony that he looks pretty similar) and eventually he storms off. Linda’s touched that they stood up for her. She cries and tells them how proud she is. Max and Steph cry a little too because this is the first time a parental figure’s ever told them that. After this they become obsessed with impressing Linda so they can hear it again.

-Grace babysits Linda’s kids sometimes and Linda pays her an outrageous amount due to being so out of touch with regular babysitting rates (“it’s one banana, what could it cost, ten dollars?” energy). Grace refuses to babysit for Tom anymore because he can’t match these rates. One night he can’t find any other sitters, so he tries to cancel on Becky but she suggests they spend a night in with Tim instead, leading to some nice family bonding (okay there can be one more cute wholesome moment, I’ll allow it.)

-They’re rivals with Frank Pricely. They hate him because Toyzone cuts into their merch sales. He hates them back for stealing Linda, who used to drop thousands per week at his store. They always scheme to screw each other over. Black Friday doesn’t happen in this timeline solely because they pay Lex to destroy the entire shipment of wiggly dolls. This is also what gets them on the LIB’s radar, Wiggly is absolutely furious.

- (This one relates to the popular “Paul is Richie’s uncle” headcanon) At some point, Paul is at his wit’s end with Richie and makes him move out in the hopes it’ll force him to reevaluate his life and stop being so awful. He doesn’t just throw Richie out, he gives him a timeline and helps him find a place. But he’s not sure if he did the right thing. He mentions this to Ted at work and Ted says his parents did the same to him and he’s totally well-adjusted. Paul just gives him a look and says “Ted…no.” This is the catalyst for him getting involved with the group and eventually getting his own corruption arc.

-After moving out, Richie becomes roommates with Max and Ruth. Steph and Pete have a luxury apartment together downtown (Solomon pays for it because he can’t deal with her anymore and wants her out of his house). Grace has a two bedroom apartment to herself - she had a roommate at one point, but they got fed up and left. Luckily she can afford it with her cushy babysitting gig.