#quarantine rly got me fucked up

[tangarang]

So any word of Coupon Kids or are you unsure/trying to keep quiet about it for right now? I like quat's redesign. It's more visually distinct than the original.

tldr: I am trying to pick back up on Coupon Kids, reworking the story (yeah , the actual story) with a lot more intention! Idk how long it will take, but just know that I'm taking it seriously.

If you want the LONNGGG story of it, here it is!

Last time we left off in the comic, I was in quarantine with my niece and sister! I was helping to raise my niece so my sister could get out of a horribly abusive relationship. I was a full time nanny which was tough! Cause I had to still make rent from home on commissions, but no one was buying them because we all became RLY RLY poor all at once.... go figure.

I turned to Coupon Kids for support because umm I was kinda fucked tbh 6_6. I had run out of money and had no time to make more, but I SQUEEEZED out the last of the Halibut Jones arc! (which, even at the time of completion, I knew it was an underwhelming piece of work, but I finished it and I'm proud I did!) Thanks to everyone's support, I had enough financial padding that I could rely on Patreon's passive income and refocus on supporting my sister/niece as well as plan to make the move down south to continue my schooling once the quarantine let up. So thats where I had left the comic for the time being in terms of story, with a sprinkle of short strips here and there, but nothing plot related, because the plot was horribly fucked right from the get-go.

I had to take multiple severe hiatuses with Coupon Kids because I got my ass handed to me on several accounts through ought. Horrible breakup, friend break up, severe mental illness, best friend got cancer, best friend died, quarantine, unexpected parenthood, gallbladder disease, then school. All the while Coupon Kids was something I made in the deepest pits of my depression.

I absolutely hated my self, my work, and my art. That all looped back to being a strange source of peace for me to make stuff w/o fear of judgement. No one could hate Coupon Kids as much as I did. I was the #1 Coupon Kids hater and I ruined it by making it. (this is a retrospective pov obv... I dont think my work is worthless anymore thx wellbutrin lol)

Coupon Kids was very liberating to write in that I had no standards, but the lack of structure kinda eventually lead to its own downfall once I started to get better. I had a very loose idea of what I wanted the story to be, but I was so disoriented by chemical imbalance and weed (I smoked SOOO much weed) I didn't rly care about the ending because tbh I thought I was gonna be dead before I got anywhere near the ending. But then Kira died, So I officially abstained myself from death's sexy loins and committed myself to giving life another go.

Sorry for the autobio dump: its kinda hard to convey Coupon Kids development w/o getting into the nitty gritty of what I was going through at the time of making it. The point is this: I made Coupon Kids with the intention of it being a stain on my legacy- but then I ended up loving the stain and it's inhabitants. Its made coming back to it difficult, because I want to put genuine effort in it but that clashes with it's overall tone. Instead of creating in spite, I'd like to create it in celebration of my artistic short comings and to do that is to completely rework the entire moral of the story and all of the characters. If I'm gonna do it right, I'd like to take my time.

Not sure how many people made it to the end of this one! Sorry I'm so quiet about my process. tbh the last 4 years have been the best of my life despite holding a lot of dread. I'm doing a lot better now and am really excited to work on what I love and be grateful I have the power to do so ! So thank you for reading if you are still interested, it means a lot!

[grittyreadsfic]

hello I’d like to hear about what teams the 118 might follow if u have the time pls and thank u

okay HELLO thank u for asking i have been dying to talk about this (i got out my laptop and everything)

i think karen got really into hockey during quarantine and roped hen into watching but she vibes more with the phf than the nhl (she's an underdog!! she gets having the odds stacked against her!!) and i think she would have settled on the six. they were new, funny on social media, and also i just think she'd find saroya tinker and elaine chuli rly neat. alternatively she is perhaps into the rivs because they are the most visibly queer and lesbian solidarity

i think chim would be a ducks fan-and hear me out here. based on kenneth's age chim probably would have been a teen or early 20s when the ducks became a team. i just think he would have gotten a kick out of a local team forming bc of a movie and he would have committed to the bit (also bc i think chim would look good in their old jerseys it's a VIBE)

bobby, obviously, is a minnesota wild fan (at least at the start). idk how sad you wanna get with this but i personally think a lot about his kids playing hockey and being into hockey and him being begrudging about it because of his past with with figure skating. he didn't follow them for awhile because it hurt too much at first, but he's learning to enjoy the sport again and remember the good parts of his past (athena is not technically part of the 118 and i don't really know how into it she'd be but she'd pick the panthers because she's from florida and they're fierce) (not the bolts fuck the bolts)

one time there was a fic where eddie used the queers and steers line to come out and i think lucy brought of tyler seguin and so now the two are forever linked in my brain i cannot unlink them i know el paso isn't close to dallas but let eddie watch hockey bc seguin is hot. let his lil repressed ass do it. he only admits to liking the kings now that he's in la its less embarrassing than admitting he got into hockey bc he found a player hot

now buck really had me in a pickle, right, because we don't know where in pa his family is really from. given they ended up in hershey, and daniel was sick, i'm going with the phiily area because of the children's hospital. so i think his family is probably philly sports all the way but the thing is: hershey is where the caps AHL team is. I think him and maddie both are caps fans, because it's cheap to go to AHL teams. they weren't affiliated with the caps til buck was 13/14 but he probably kept going to games bc he missed maddie and it felt like a connection to her (also then the caps got ovechkin)

lucy and ravi i have no thoughts on really because we've got nothing to go on but based on them having incredible vibes (yes i AM in love with lucy thanks for asking) they are both new jersey devils fans

[domjaehyun]

i think i'm gonna save all the jaehyun talk for the end because there's a lot to unpack. FIRST OFF, haechan and jeno's additions to the story plssss i was obsessed. the scene where johnny and jaemin walk into the house greeted by dead silence because everyone's trying to figure who oc was getting absolutely plowed by HAD ME CRACKING UPPP. omg i loved how jaemin and oc's sex tape was brought up again and jaemin made jeno sit and watch followed by that little photoshoot moment. oc better than me, i would've jumped jeno so fast and made another tape. haechan stepping into the house and immediately calling oc a milf made me laugh as well like that part was very lee-haechan-coded. and hello??? the kitty thing with johnny and jungwoo really stirred something in me like WHAT IS PURRING... the mark and jaehyun THREESOME oh you were so bad for that, i loved every second of it. there's something very sexy about those two being competitive idk idk maybe it's just me. when haechan hinted at "celebrating" quarantine being lifted LMFAOOO our poor oc, she would not last during that.

okay… WHEW jaehyun... i always knew it was gonna be him over mark. I HATE TO SAY IT I REALLY DO but my intuition is always right. i was so chronically attached to the scene in qc2 where minhee sent jaehyun a nude and oc stormed off, only for jaehyun to come in to make it up to her. AND THEN the whole laying in silence while interlocking pinkies and not being able to utter a word so they just stay there while all their feelings wash over them YEAH tell me that wasn't THE scene of the entire series. the very ending line of them holding pinkies while walking to lunch, idk if that was intentional on your part but i like what you did there. and can we pls talk about oc ignoring jaehyun which led to their first sex scene of qc3 to be the whole "i miss you" moments. you had me then and there. and fuck man domestic jaehyun watching edgar, i want him badlyyyyyyyy. cannot i would've thrown hands at jaehyun when he invited minhee over. POOR GIRL HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON. but ofc jaehyun had to pull the "i just wanted you to notice me" BABE WE ALL NOTICE YOU CMONNNNN my heart was so full reading jaehyun's confession like i just about burst into tears as well damn. and then oc's confession pls she is so cute, i'll miss her. and i'm glad they knew all the others in the house were strictly just fuck buddies and that mark fully acknowledged that sometimes a good friendship isn't worth ruining by getting into a relationship. oc's character development from refusing to share her yogurt with jaehyun to offering it to him all by herself i could cry.

anyways VERY NICE JOB QC SERIES WAS SO FUN icb it's been out since 2020, i've really been here for a while :o - 🍪

the serotonin this message gave me….unreal okay this might be a lil long i wanna address everything .

I HAD TO ADD THEM IM GLAD YOU UNDERSTAND :’) and that scene made me laugh so i’m glad you laughed too 😁 ALSO i love writing jeno as shy / awkward it was fun for me :D

HAECHAN HAD TO DO IT!! HES THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD!! and omg the kitten scene…yeah that was rly something…. yeah…. 🧌 (feels shy) THE THREESOME WAS ALSO RLY SOMETHING idk what comes over me sometimes . and YEAH PLUS MINHEE WAS THERE AND. would’ve been weird vibes yknow?

OMG YEAH THAT WAS A TURNING POINT :O i’m glad you realized it :D their linking pinkies again was entirely intentional yes i’m v glad you noticed :’) YEAH AVOIDING HIM DIDNT LAST LONG…. they couldn’t stay away from each other 💖 THAT EDGAR SCENE WAS SUPPOSED TO ECHO THE SCENE WHERE HE TALKED ABOUT ADOPTING A PET IN QC2 :D

fun fact mc and jaehyun were supposed to argue and that’s how his confession was gonna come out but when i got them in the same room they didn’t wanna fight 😭😭😭😭😭 like i just couldn’t make it happen so i was like okay what do YALL want and then that couch scene happened :) also minhee was never an enemy i tried to make that obvious she was more of a catalyst unintentionally :p

HER CONFESSION WAS SO SILLY BUT VERY LIKE HER I THINK and yeah i wanted to make that distinction :D i didn’t want her to lose mark yknow? and her sharing the yogurt. u know what that is? GROWTH!!

THANK YOU I’M HAPPY YOU LIKED IT!! yeah it’s rly been a while 😟😟 glad i finally got it out!!

[pangolen]

merlin liveblog tag quarantine post

edit: hit tag limit and got onto desktop to make it a readmore instead

tags were:

#merlin you are so FUCKING stupid

#the camera zooming everywhere is so good

#arthur and morgana have such incredible sibling energy even from the start #also i want the afanc to be some guy in a suit so bad #ALSO imagine if arthur had known about merlin's magic starting from this ep #i'm p sure that's not the case tho but i mean. i never actually finished watching the series

#i bet there's fanart somewhere of bird!merlin and bear!arthur. somewhere #i'm not gonna go look for it tho

#merlin truly causes as many problems as he solves

#gaius: you're being mature. too mature. suspicious.

#ugh gwen please don't be into merlin you can do so much better #also merlin do better @ falsifying documents #also uther is so frustrating. mr head it's a joy to see you but jesus christ

#gwen truly gets paired with Everyone and actually you know what good for her

#haha lancelot has a lance now

#merlin you're so fucking bad at hiding your magic it's insane you don't get caught by anyone who would hate you for it

#'the law is the law' uther you're literally the king

#how old are merlin and arthur supposed to be anyway

#AH! beetle episode #also probly once i'm done watching all this #i'll try rereading that longass fic i have in my bookmarks #one of the five million time travel fics in this fandom

#adhd KING #it's time for merlin to Touch Everything!

#god this is such a cheap plot it's painful

#oh ok so arthur is 25 or around that age #good to know #so was his actor! neat! #then can we also extrapolate merlin's age as 22ish or is that wishful thinking

---

anyway uther continues to be frustrating. they should just let the beetle kill him.

oh also as long as we're extrapolating ages, that would make gwen about 28 and morgana a mystery because mcgrath's dob isn't on wikipedia so it's impossible to know. i also can't remember if morgana is supposed to be older or younger than arthur. oh well!

i want to ruffle merlin's hair

oh these are the lake fairies or whatever right

i am bundling morgana up in a blanket and holding her close. she needs COMFORT she needs someone who BELIEVES her!!!!!!!

merlin is truly too good of a friend

it is kinda sweet actually that arthur trusts merlin so much that he can even struggle under an enchantment forcing him to believe someone else over him 🥺

(i'm such a sucker for soulmates you guys)

THE THING IS... i think this early on arthur would have been willing to keep merlin's magic a secret, if it came out in the right way. like yeah he'd feel betrayed and conflicted but once he cooled down like. it would become pretty obvious that merlin has been using it to help him. and probably save his life on multiple occasions, even only this far into the series. ughhhhhh

GROANS mordred episode......... makes morgana's villain arc so much more annoying later........ like hey! look at all this compassion she has!! haha yeah. so anyway morgana is evil now and only cares about how she's technically a rightful heir to the throne <3

ajsvdjsvdjd "what if magic isn't something you choose... what if it chooses you..." rly love that the first episode is like "people have to actively choose to learn magic otherwise they can't do it" and at this point it's "actually magic is innate"

idk man if a dragon told me i had some great destiny i would suspect it of trying to sell me something. no matter how big and cool the dragon was and even if it sounded super wise and spoke in riddles. strange women lying in ponds distributing swords etc.

damn dude that's your DAUGHTER where's ur fucking heart. #1 worst dad award

yeah merlin just throw it in a lake. it's a good thing no mortal man knows how to SWIM.

merlin really should've come clean in this episode (moment of truth). destiny or not this is probably the safest time to do so. like merlin you KNOW worst case scenario, arthur leaves you behind in the village. best case scenario, he accepts you fully and swears to keep your secret and respects you more, AND you get to use your innate talents to help your home village. ugh

like he DOES get to use magic but someone else covers for him. it's stupid. and the ending is supposed to be like "see it's better he doesn't tell arthur" but like. is it. is it worth it for another 5 seasons of hiding and pretending he can't do incredible things. that doesn't have to be the crux of the series

hedge maze episode i guess

if i ever see someone portray morgana as keeper of the brain cell i will fling myself into the fires of hell. she's JUST as impulsive as merlin and causes just as many problems.

tho admittedly gwen is probably more likely to be assigned Brain Cell Keeper. but she's so likely to go along with what the others come up with i don't think that's a fair assessment of her either

merlin just let uther die already jeez

also you should visit the dragon sometimes just to talk. why is it always "i need your help" "i need your advice"? it's never "hey do you want company". also lmao @ merlin asking for help to protect uther

"arthur's not ready" damn that sucks. can it be any worse than uther tho? (ok probably)

also GOD uther is SO READY to trust in morgana's intentions even tho she's consistently proven herself to be manipulative and more than willing to go against him when she disagrees with him on something. like yeah i meant what i said earlier about her being compassionate but she is also manipulative & selfish and it's incredibly stupid for uther to trust her

"that would make me as bad as him" ok gwen i guess but like. imo you could kill multiple people before you were anywhere near as bad as uther

"your father was the greatest man i've ever known" and so you fucked his wife lmao okay

"i know i'm not an easy man" LMAO

oh he regrets it that means it's fine then alls forgiven

oh rip merlin. it was a nice run

man. merlin's little brother energy is truly off the charts

ok season finale let's go

MAN. i love this monster it's so fucking cool

SIGHS. UTHER.

hey why DID he take merlin to go fight the questing beast. as far as he knows merlin is a clumsy servant with limited fighting ability

i mean it's GOOD that he brought him but still.

i thought arthur was scratched, not bitten?

yeah that was definitely a scratch. maybe it's another case of the cgi not matching the script

i don't remember who dies in arthur's place. hunith? it wasn't gaius, right? (was it???) w/e i'm stopping after this i think regardless

shcsjdvdjdvd is he going to carry that rainwater all the way h--oh nvm it's Water Which Has Been In The Cup not, drinking directly from the cup. anyway i think gaius is going to die. i feel like i should remember this

could you imagine if merlin actually died from this lmao. welp that's the show! roll credits!

is this show implying that merlin was kept safe because he had the rabbits foot

oh i guess it was hunith then ok. rip. narratively gaius would've been more impactful.

ah. THIS is why i couldn't remember who died alright

thinking about that art where two people keep working their way around the other to protect them from a bullet or whatever

merlin is going into the avatar state now

also i think killing nimueh should count here and let gaius live—ah

oh okay. so no one we care about died then. okay.

this show is so fucking stupid

lmao dragons pissed

yeah okay that's enough of that. liveblog done!!!!!!!!

[gorey]

hello. please explain in as much detail as is comfortable how your music taste has grown and changed over the course of your life. thank you. ?<- question mark for redundancy since you said to ask it but i accidentally didnt phrase it that way

Hi!!! Thank you for this question

So one thing you gotta understand is we're the son of two professional orchestra violinists so a lot of our early introductions to music were classical with the exception of fiona apple when our mom introduced us to the album extraordinary machine when we were like 7. we also listened to a lot of stephane grappelli and django reinhardt, ella fitzgerald singing harold arlen, duke ellington - jazz is one of our favorite genres to this day and fiona is an all time favorite artist so clearly that era stuck with us. lots of the Beatles also and we have a soft spot for some of their songs despite despising them as an entity

we'd listen to radio pop on our computer and record shit thru the speaker onto our shitty voice recorder so we could play in the backyard and listen to it this was a no phone no ipod era

the first artist I can remember us really getting into on our own was owl city before we found out he's rather Christian which we don't really vibe with. our best friend at the time introduced us to some classic rock especially queen. somewhere along the way we discovered patd by watching some random speedpaint and then got rly into them age like 10-11. some mcr too but we never had a fall out boy phase Hashem bless.

I remember buying a Florence + the machine cd at Barnes and noble at like 11? 12? Lungs which is a great album I've always loved their music but I didn't list any of their albums on my big list of favorites just now bc I take issue with some shit she's done. Also got into Muse around that time I think

2012 is when shit really started the idler wheel by fiona apple came out and we were a hot mess so it rly resonated with us. This is also when we got into andrew bird. Discovered a bunch of shit - soley, daughter, marina, lana. really mentally ill period

After summer camp 2013 I got into arctic monkeys and vampire weekend which was at the time really transformative to our approach to music. Then we started dating someone with rly fucking good music taste and everything really fell into place. Got rly into alt-J on my own but my now-ex showed me james blake, rory ferreira, sufjan stevens, the antlers, death grips, bunch of shit. I started getting more into hip hop, got into chance the rapper for a bit before realizing he's kinda mid though acid rap does rly hold up, also discovered glass animals in like 2015, really there was a lot of stuff I don't have very good memory of this time period

2016 was like. Vince staples car seat headrest deerhoof Hiatus kaiyote whatever the kids at Berklee summer were listening to...got rly into a sun kil moon album but later found out he did some creep shit so we don't listen to that anymore which sucks. Our then best friend got us into gorillaz and Kate bush

2017-19 we discovered king krule and mount eerie among other things which was epic and cool. Phil elverum sees straight into our mind it was a revelation. Rory ferreira only keeps getting better and better. Too many things to name. Hyperpop, sophie and PC music, lots of blood orange, we were chronically high as shit

2020 we holed up in the upstairs of our house with a dude who no longer speaks to us to record an album of original music. I finally decided to listen to talking heads and my world was blown open. Also the era of listening to let's eat grandma and grimes (I know) while flagrantly psychotic in quarantine. Shabazz palaces black up shoutout and all the random goofy shit my (ex) bandmate showed me also fugazi

2021 i broke up with good music taste ex and started dating someone else also with very good music taste but in a different direction, got into the Mars Volta and a bunch of shit here you go

And the 2022 one is even longer. By a lot. it speaks for itself really fucking good year for music

And this year I've been getting more into punk shit like cherubs, special interest, a frames; finally got into sonic youth the other day, lots more deerhoof too.

extremely long response thank u so very much for letting us ramble about this!! 💓

[dangerouslygay]

a letter to future me (after this coronavirus panic has subsided)

ok i've just found this in my drafts from 2020, it is now 2023 💀

please make the most of:

- shelves at work being stocked

you no longer work somewhere where shelves require stocking

- being able to go out with your friends and dance

you no longer rly enjoy nights out but you do enjoy a good dance :)

- the normalcy and mundanity of everyday life

you do love some mundanity :)

- be there for the old and the vulnerable in your life at all times, not just when there’s a pandemic

you do - your job is now 90% being there for the old and the vulnerable!

and also here’s some questions me in the middle of the panic wants to know:

- how far did the government have to go before things started to calm down?

there was a very long lockdown, there were TIERS, you were miserable for a while but you made it through!

- what were the lockdowns at work like? did they actually happen?

...yes. they were gross

- do we have toilet roll back on the shelves now?

you no longer work there but yes

- did the uk go into lockdown?

... yes. very much yes

- did phoebe get into sixth form? what happened with her gcse grades? (and the a level students’ uni applications)

yes, they did amazing and they're at uni now and living their best life!!

- when did things finally start to calm down?

like. the end of 2021? the start of 2022?? i've blocked it out atp

- which of your gigs did you actually end up going to?

i think when i wrote this i had tickets for my chemical romance, the killers and harry styles - i made it to my chem and the killers eventually but got massively fucked over by harry styles and didn't end up going :,)

- what was your first night out after self iso/quarantine like? 

it was ok! it was a beer garden with three of your mates and it was fun, you tried **** and ******** for the first time so that was fun

- how did your friends cope?

about as well as you did - so not great!

- got your adhd appointment yet? 

got adhd and maybe autism babes!!

- anything else drastic happen?

where to START 💀 grandad died, lost an aunty, lost an uncle, developed a borderline addiction, went to uni, dropped out of uni, left that job you were at for 4 years, moved in with your bestie from said job, got diagnosed with ADHD, worked at a shit office job for 2 months then got your dream job!! and probably more but my memory is shit :)

- do you think it’s impacted you for the rest of your life/altered your outlook? 

without question

- you at uni yet? 

yes and then no - you went for a year and dropped out 😭

[time-is-an-allusion]

.

okay so I am really entertaining thoughts abt transplanting Ford from his world to mine...I’m imagining it basically being my life as it is now but if (an obviously AU version of him) were in it. 

in the AU i have, he spent a lot of time going to punk(-adjacent) shows both when he was younger and after a certain point in his recovery. so did I during the latter half of my drug addict years. i’m imagining we met at one of those. he liked my “colorless green ideas sleep furiously” patch because he likes linguistics. we become friends after that.

we’re Addict Friends for a while bc he’s still an alcoholic and i was still a pill addict, but our relationship is never toxic except in the way that any relationship is toxic if there’s any aspect of enabling in it (i mean we never hurt each other). in fact, we end up using less around each other because we find we both enjoy each other’s presence on a clearer head.

i’m toying with ideas about what happened to him during the pandemic. maybe he gets clean over quarantine (as is a thing I’ve read a number of recovering addicts on Reddit saying they did). maybe he got worse. realistically he would have gotten worse. 

either way, he re-enters my life during the part where I’m having my brief little problem with alcohol, reaching out to me to basically say “hey dont do that i know from experience that u rly dont want to do that” (i imagine him shortening words and omitting punctuation except where he absolutely can’t). and unlike i did with literally anyone else, i actually listen to him bc he’s the only one who says anything who’s speaking from experience.

if he’s clean by this point, we start talking about Not Doing Harmful Substances Anymore. we’ve both figured out doing weed instead of pills/alcohol and in this AU, he (instead of a Person I’m Not Friends With Anymore) is the one who gives me a place away from the guy I was living with who was Driving Me To Drink. 

if he’s not clean yet, he tells me how he’s been doing wrt his addiction. he tells me he’s impressed with me and that me quitting d.ph is inspiring to him. he asks me about how i cope and i tell him. i assure him that, if he ever decides to get clean, i’ll be there for him and he can talk about everything with me.  

he’s the first to point out to me that it’s an achievement that i was able to quit at the drop of a hat (as i did) and gets me to recognize my recovery much sooner than I did in real life. 

i would answer the question of what he and i were doing after that part of my life, but it would require me to bring in real people from my life and imagine how they’d interact with Ford and...it just feels weird to involve real people in my imaginary scenarios without their knowledge and i feel weird asking. i mean imagining it at length. i can imagine general things though like him asking my brother what helps me when I’m having that Really Bad Anxiety that I started having around that time. at the very least, he wouldn’t be like my ex and tell my family that it was “hard to relate to [me]” with what i was experiencing. like of course he wouldn’t relate but he wouldn’t have to fucking say anything about it. i  can’t relate to him a lot of the time, but i don’t feel the need to point that out.

and obviously This would be the part of the story where we fall in love (maybe we were kinda low-key in love with each other while i was with my ex but obviously didn’t say anything at the time). i feel like, if this were real life and i had known someone that well for that long and they approached me romantically at this time, i would be in a position to say yes. now, i haven’t known anybody that well for that long who would romantically approach me, but if they did. well, if i turned them down, my reasoning would be something other than “this is the wrong time”. i think enough time has passed between the breakup and now that it could be healthy in reality, so i choose to imagine it in fantasy.

honestly? i kind of love all this.

[comradekatara]

me finally leaving the house for the first time in 17 months: walter white is an icon & all but she will NEVER upstage aang as THEE bald tv protagonist of all time and that’s the tea

random stranger standing 6 feet away from me minding her business admiring a painting (we are at a museum): im sorry..... are you... are you talking to me????

[demonishdraws]

My recommended are just korean cats and cooking/cafe channels, I mean I'm happy with the videos of it, I just don't know how it got recommended to me but hey, I'm not complaining about it at all!

[bakatenshii]

You’re one of the nicest people on this platform. Your presence is very much appreciated

I appreciate this ask so so much, I think you guys are genuinely so sweet to me and so supportive so I try to return that energy back! I sound like a broken record saying this but I’m genuinely pretty terrible at answering asks so when I do I try to make it as informative/helpful and nice as possible (*´∀｀*)ゞ

[farmcores]

some guys really walk around thinking theyre not just some guy

[gabby-writes]

👀

[rinakat]

back at work, my coworker saw me and was like “what’s wrong katrina” and I told her I was just tired but rly? she doesn’t know

[eideticmemory]

EVER SINCE NEW YORK VI | MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER

Description: I was messaged saying: “If you don’t write a young Matthew enemies to lovers fic featuring an obsession with sucking on boobs then what’s the point 😔.” So, here it is, folks! The ultimate College!Matthew fic.

PART 6! Read Part 5 here!

SOUNDTRACK:

Miss you - The Rolling Stones.

Like Real People Do - Hozier.

Sweet Creature - Harry Styles.

Word Count: 4,619.

Rating: M.

Warning/Includes: Sexual intercourse, drinking, recreational drug use, a bit of angst.

Summer, Before Senior Year.

Quarantine.

“You awake?”

“Yeah.”

“You were asleep, I’m sorry.”

“Matthew, it’s okay, really.”

“What time is it there?”

You pulled your phone away from your ear to glance at the screen, “Three in the morning.”

“Damn, [y/n], I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay,” you whispered. “What’s up?”

“Can we facetime?”

“I look a mess.”

“I’m sure you don’t,” he replied. “Please?”

You sighed, “Okay. Okay, call me.”

He did, and when you answered, you had the camera focused on your face, your lamp light on. 

“Oh, God, Matthew!” You shouted. “I thought you were going to show your face, you pervert!”

“My face isn’t hard right now.” 

“Nasty!” 

“I thought you liked it?”

“You’re a disgusting little boy.”

“[y/n], please. I’m so horny right now, and I’ve been jerking off forever, but I can’t get off. Help? Please?” 

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head at him. “Dirty boy. Filthy boy.” 

“If this is your method of dirty talk, it isn’t working for me.”

You let out a dry laugh. His cock was front and center on your phone screen, his hand wrapped around it, jerking it slowly. “Tell me how to help, Matthew.”

“Show me those tits, pretty lady.”

You cackled, “Nasty!”

But you still pulled your shirt up, revealing your breasts, which were sitting pretty without the restraint of a bra. Matthew flipped the camera to his face at lightning speed, holding his screen close to his face. “When the fuck did you get your nipples pierced?” His voice was strained, high pitched, laced with shock and surprise. 

“Oh,” you said. “The week I got home. Before the tattoo shops closed.”

“Do you like them?” You asked.

“Matthew?” You called. 

But he was silent. Actually, he wasn’t silent, he was grunting. He was grunting, and jerking himself off, his wrist going numb from the speed and intensity that he was using. You froze the moment you realized what was happening, your camera perfectly angled at your chest. You watched Matthew’s face scrunch up, the way it always does when he’s nearing his orgasm, and your breath caught in your throat. He was so hot, geez. He stared at his phone, trembling, weak, panting quietly. He sucked in a sharp breath, and as he exhaled, the breath came out shaky and loud — louder than he intended — and he released himself all over his hand. 

“You good?” You whispered. 

“Ah, fuck,” he mumbled. His breathing was hard, raspy. He had to clear his throat before he spoke. “Why didn’t you tell me about the nipple piercings?” 

You giggled, “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he chuckled, wiping himself off before he fixed his pants. “Did they hurt?”

“Not really,” you shrugged. “It was quick, the piercer was nice.”

“Good, good,” he nodded. “Can I see them again?” 

You sighed with a bit of laughter mixed in, and you did as you were asked. The two of you stayed up for another five hours, talking, laughing, helping each other come. By the time eight in the morning rolled around, you were completely shirtless, and Matthew was close to falling asleep. But he didn’t want to. He kept on bringing up different topics, pulling you into all sorts of conversations, just so you would stay on the phone. 

“Matthew,” you whispered. “Go to bed.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“If you go to sleep right now, you will wake up to titty pictures.”

He paused, “Throw in some ass pics, too?”

“You got it,” you nodded.

“Okay, goodnight, [y/n].”

“Goodnight, Matthew.”

And so began a very long, very horny, dirty, nasty quarantine. 

When you first arrived home, it was a constant waiting game to see who would call who first. When Matthew woke up without you that day, he held his phone in his chest for a long time, waiting for it to ring, to buzz, anything. But it never did. Because you were doing the same thing — watching, waiting, hoping. Matthew eventually got too swept up in his own move to reach out, so you sat at home for days without so much as a word. Until sunday night, when he finally called — horny and desperate.

You had to continue your online classes that Monday, after the long night of facetime sex, and he was all you could think about. All you could think about. There was radio silence for the first few hours of the day. You blindly rolled through your classes, glancing at your phone every few minutes. You finally gave in by the time you were in your last class, picked up your cell phone, and pulled up Matthew’s text messages. You didn’t know what to say, what to type, your fingers hovering over the keyboard. And just as you went to press a letter, a message came through. 

M: i had a dream about you

You bit your lip to contain a smile. 

Y: rly? what happened in this dream?

M: call me and i’ll tell you

You glanced at your laptop, your professor still rambling on and on. It was definitely unlike you to choose a boy over class. But, class was just about over. And Matthew wasn’t just a boy.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” you said into your phone, smiling at Matthew’s voice.

“What are you doing?”

“Just finished class. What are you doing?” 

“I’m in class right now, actually,” he told you. “Animation.”

“Hot,” you giggled at the noise of his lecture in the background.

“Thanks. My dream was hotter, though.” 

“Oh? Was it?” You grinned, laying back in bed. 

“Yeah. You were a sexy nurse.”

“Matthew!” You exclaimed, erupting in a fit of laughter. 

“Okay, you weren’t a nurse. But you were there, and I was there—“

“We were both there.”

“Yes. And we were in my room, on my bed, and you were sitting on my face.”

You squeezed your thighs together, “Oh.”

“Yeah, it took some convincing, but you did it. And you were so scared to suffocate me, it was cute.”

“Cute, huh?”

“Sexy. I can visualize your body so well,” he whispered. “It’s perfect. You’re perfect.”

“Matthew,” a voice called. 

Your eyes went wide, you went silent. “Oh, shit!” Matthew exclaimed, noticing that his microphone had been on the whole time. He quickly left the online class, and sighed heavily. 

You could hardly breathe, you were laughing so hard. You cackled, you hooted, you howled. And Matthew couldn’t help but join you. “Fuck!” He chuckled. “I’m a dumbass.”

“Well, I’ve always known that.” You replied. 

“Facetime me, princess,” he requested. 

You did, and he continued to tell you about his dream. How he laid under you, could taste you on his tongue, feel your skin on his hands. It made you incredibly horny, and when you thought he wasn’t listening, you started to touch yourself. Your breath got shaky, and you attempted to keep it quiet — with no success.

“You touching yourself, princess?” Matthew asked.

“No,” you whispered, but it came out rushed.

“Oh, you are. I know that voice.” 

“And I...like your voice.”

“You do? Hm...you like to hear me tell you how hot you are? How much I want to be sucking on those perfect tits right now? Bury my cock inside you and fuck you until you can’t walk?”

“Fuck, Matthew,” you huffed. You’d never heard him talk quite like this before. It was steamy and overwhelming and so, so nice. 

“Tell me what you’re doing right now.”

“Just, uh, um, touching my clit.”

“Good, princess. Now, slide your fingers in for me.”

You sucked in a sharp breath, and did as you were told, your fingers gliding into you. “O-okay,” you murmured.

“Does it feel good? Does it feel better than me?” Matthew purred.

“Nothing feels better than you,” you said, before you could catch yourself. 

He grinned to himself, “Show me. Let me watch.” 

You flipped the camera around to present yourself to him, your legs spread open, your fingers pumping in and out of your core. “Fuck...” he said under his breath, his hand slipping into his underwear. “I’ve never been this jealous of someone’s fingers.”

You chuckled, followed by a weak moan. “Don’t be shy. Show me something, too.”

He let you watch him stroke his hard cock in his palm. Your hands were somehow moving in unison with each other’s. Matthew could tell you were getting close, from the noises you were making and the way your body trembled. His own orgasm pent up in his stomach, but he continued to edge himself until you came. But when you did finished, panting his name and letting out soft moans, he allowed himself to let go. His come shot all over his stomach, and you admired the way it coated his skin.

“Look what you did,” he murmured. 

You laid there, tired and blissed out beyond belief. “Don’t you dare think that we’re doing this all of quarantine, Matthew Gubler.” 

“We’ll see.”

The idea of spending five months away from Matthew was grueling to say the least. You’d gotten so used to him being right down the hall that you constantly had to remind yourself that he was all the way across the country. But, when you guys really got into the groove of things, the distance didn’t seem so bad. 

He always texted you goodmorning and goodnight. The two of you managed to obtain a 30 day streak on snapchat. He helped you with homework and you helped him with his. You texted each other tiktoks and funny tweets that reminded you of one another. You stayed up until all hours of the night, chatting and laughing and talking dirty to one another. You were on facetime with each other so often that your family began to ask who he was. “A friend,” you said. It wasn’t that believable, though. 

Things were great, despite you missing him like crazy. And then he sent you a text. It had a few attachments, and a message saying: forgot to send you these 😘. 

Intrigued, you opened the message to find a row of videos. Of you. Of Matthew. You two together. The first one you clicked was of him eating you out, and you swear, you flooded your bed. It was easy to forget, to lock away memories of him to keep yourself sane. But these videos — of you two fucking, him sucking on your boobs, you sucking on his fingers, sucking his dick — they were too much to bare. 

You hand slid into your underwear, your eyes trained on your phone as you watched Matthew fuck you. Headphones in, you listened to the sound of skin on skin, him whispering dirty things to you through his moans. You bit down on your lip, touching yourself, teasing yourself, too turned on to think properly. And so eager to get off that you forgot to lock the door.

“[y/n]?” A family member called, bursting into your room.

“Shit!” You exclaimed. You quickly hid yourself under the cover and paused the video. Your heart was beating out of your chest, and you promised not to make that mistake again. 

Matthew, however, didn’t get the memo.

“Nipple piercings, ma’am?” He pouted, looking at you over facetime one day. “Whip ‘em out.”

“Whip ‘em out? Is that how you ask?” You giggled.

He sighed, “Can I see your tits? Please? I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?”

“Anything,” he nodded.

“Moo like a cow,” you said.

He was silent for a second. “You considering it?” You asked.

“I am, yeah,” he nodded. 

You cackled, and pulled your shirt up, revealing your bare chest. Just as both of your breasts graced the screen, Matthew’s mom stepped into his room to ask him a question. 

“Oh, dear!” She remarked, catching a quick flash of your chest. 

“Oh, no!” You shouted. You ducked out of the camera’s vision, and Matthew dropped his phone. 

“Hi, [y/n],” Mrs. Gubler said.

“Hi, Mrs. Gubler!” You pipped, your face beet red. 

When she left the room, Matthew and you erupted in nervous laughter. “I’m so, so sorry,” he told you. 

“It’s okay! Is she mad?” 

“No. She’s never gonna let me live this down, though. Anyways, show me those tits again.”

“Are you serious?” You pipped.

He gave you the eyes. His trademark ‘i’m horny and i would die for you, queen, please show me some titty’ eyes. 

You sighed, “Nasty boy.”

By the time you two were halfway through quarantine, Matthew and you had each other’s routines memorized. Well enough, that he knew what time you showered every night. He called you just as you stepped out of the shower, and when you answered, he was happy to see you naked and wrapped in a towel. 

“Well, well, well,” he smirked. “This is my lucky day.” 

“Shut up,” you laughed, setting your phone down on the counter, upright so he could see you. You dropped your towel to reveal your naked body, and he nearly drooled at the sight. “Don’t be a perv.”

“I am a perv.”

You rolled your eyes at him and grabbed your clothes, sliding your hoodie over your body. 

“Wait,” he said. “Wait, wait, wait. Is that my hoodie?” 

You froze, standing there in an NYU hoodie that came down to your knees. “[y/n]? Princess? Did you steal my hoodie?” He asked.

“Borrowed!” You exclaimed, your voice squeaking. “I borrowed it.”

“I’ve been looking for that hoodie. When did you take it?”

“Borrow!”

“Okay, when did you borrow it?” 

“That night...” You trailed off. “Before I left. I saw it laying there and it was a little chilly so I—“

“Stole it.”

“Borrowed!”

He giggled, “It looks good on you. Really good.” 

“Yeah?” You grinned, twirling around in the hoodie, your legs exposed. 

“Oh, yeah,” he nodded. “Does it smell like me?” 

You nodded, “Yeah, it does.” That’s part of the reason you loved it so much. 

“Stay—stay just like that for me,” he pleaded. “Just like that.”

You held yourself still, posing your entire body in front of the camera for him to take you in. His hand had snaked down into his pants and grasped his cock, now delivering slow strokes along his shaft. 

“Like what you see?” You purred. 

Love what I see, he thought. But he only said, “Yeah.”

His wrist sped up, along with his breathing. “Fuck,” he panted. His eyes lowered into this sensual look, his teeth were gritted together. You gave him a sly smile, and turned around, lifting up the hoodie to show him your ass. 

“Oh, fuck!” He shouted. Suddenly, he hung up. While you stood there, confused, he laid in his bed and withdrew his hands from his pants. He closed his eyes tight, attempting to calm himself. Soothe the feeling in his chest. But it wouldn’t go away. He missed you. He missed you so much, it was heart stopping, soul shattering, and it even got rid of his boner. He could conceal it for a long, long time. But that hoodie...

That damn hoodie. 

Embarrassed from your last phone conversation, he almost didn’t answer when you called him that night. But he couldn't stop himself. When he answered the facetime request, he saw you — stressed, your face red and sad. “What’s wrong?” He cooed.

“It’s almost midnight and I have an assignment due and I have no idea how to do it and it’s worth a lot of points and I’m gonna have a heart attack.” You rambled. 

“Okay, okay,” he sat up. “[y/n], babe, calm down. What class is it for?”

“Advanced film. It’s a quiz, I just—“

“Send it to me.”

“Matthew—“

“Send it. I’ll do it.”

“You don’t have to,” you sighed. 

“But I want to. I don’t want you stressed. Just send it, I’ll get it done before midnight. I promise.”

You smiled at him, blinking away the stress-induced tears in your eyes. “Thank you, Matthew. Thank you so much. If you ever need help with anything, let me know, I’ll help. If you decide to take ballet next semester, I can really help.”

He laughed, and the two of you held each other’s gaze for a long time. It was full of softness, joy, bonding. A little love. 

“Anyways, uh,” Matthew said, clearing his throat. “Can I see your ass again?” 

You shook your head at him, laughing under your breath. 

Quarantine couldn’t be over soon enough. 

[PART 7.]

[carbootsoul]

fic recs? ive been combing out my locs for 3 hours and im So Bored,,.,.,

hell YEAH i have so many since i uh have been reading soo much fanfiction over quarantine lol and have also been reading ace attorney fic since like 5th grade or something equally stupid. like i am running out. (also thank u for the excuse to reread my favorite fics sjdklfjs i have to make sure they’re as good as i remember before recommending them to u 🥺). sorry this is a little late i finally convinced my little brother to watch sk8 with me lol

anyway leo’s fanfiction recs!! these aren’t in any particular order (technically they’re in chronological order of when i read them i guess) and most of them r going to be ace attorney but i think i’ve got two or three mp100 fics too!! i just didn’t have as many mob psycho fics bookmarked which is bothering me since i know i’ve read a lot of really good serirei fics i just didn’t save them everywhere.. if i send u an ask later with just links to a few that’s why.

gravity- (ace attorney, klapollo, rated e) if u haven’t read gravity yet.. i mean valid but i reread this one last night and it is just as good as i remember.. this is a weird thing to say about a klapollo fanfiction (and the klapollo is VERY GOOD) but i am obsessed with how miles and phoenix r characterized in this it’s such a fun perspective on their characters oh my god. there are a few points in this fic where i had to like. stop and look away because i was so excited about how it was written lol. there’s a second part to this fic that’s a mini wrightworth scene and it makes me go actually insane

the same thing, self aware- (ace attorney, wrightworth, rated m) cw past alcoholism. one of my top 3 ace attorney fanfics honestly 🥺 the premise is that phoenix and miles broke up when phoenix adopted trucy and they decide to spend a weekend together when miles gets back to san francisco (latter half of the 7 year gap) and GOD. it’s p angsty but has a happy ending and is also like. such an interesting look at their characters. also this:

“Well, fuck, Miles, why did you even ask me here?” Miles says into the kitchen sink, “Because you used to be my best friend.”

forty years in the wilderness- (ace attorney, wrightworth, rated t) classic post aj fic about edgeworth’s return to the states. i think most ppl have read this one but like. for good reason. sometimes i talk to my friend leo while i read fics and send them my favorite parts and i swear i sent them like 3/4ths of this fic. it’s just SO sweet and in character and i love it

to go another day- (ace attorney, wrightworth, rated t) god this fic is STUPID fluffy and rly short but it lives in my head rent free. horrifyingly in character and im obsessed with it

what we make- (mp100, reigen & tome, rated t) it’s been a while since i read this but im weak for any content about tome and reigen since like.. i’m obsessed with how similar they are.. the same kind of obnoxious gay. also the background serirei is rly sweet 🥺🥺

all there is- (ace attorney, wrightworth & past krisnix, rated e) cw for dubcon, dissociation during sex, and alcoholism. this is probably the angstiest fic on this list and deals with a lot of heavy topics but it’s really well written. the summary says ‘phoenix and kristoph during the seven year gap, phoenix and miles after it’ and yeah basically. 

catch me i’m falling- (mob psycho, terumob, rated g) college aus.. pining teru.... other ppl having crushes on mob (as they should).. fluff... shou being mean to teru... thank u

wilst du mich heiraten?- (ace attorney, wrightworth, rated t) HI THIS IS QUITE POSSIBLY MY FAVORITE FANFICTION EVER oh my GOD its so tender and good and the found family of it all. miles calling phoenix darling/sweetheart is my favorite hc. it’s told in two parts- one from phoenix’s pov before his disbarrment and one from apollo’s after everything with kristoph- and i just. seriously read this one it makes me so very happy. everything by the author is also good- my other personal favorites are love most definitely requited (the only hanahaki fic i’ve ever enjoyed) and reading between the lines (the original trilogy from miles’s pov). 

surrender on no sides- (mob psycho, character driven/ritshou, rated m for drug use, violence, and psychological abuse) tw for a lot of things- i’d advise looking at the tags. ok when i said all there is is the angstiest fic i was lying because i forgot about this one. uhh frankly don’t read it if you’re at all worried about any of the tags because this is VERY intense. the premise is that ritsu is the one who goes into mogami’s fucked up head land instead of mob (& mogami’s world is worse than canonically) and things just go downhill from there. i think about this fic on a weekly basis tho

this got LONG i didn’t realize how many favorite fics i had until i was listing them. thank u for asking tho!! i get really excited about things i’m into so it’s fun to get to ramble about them lol. i hope u enjoy these (and that you haven’t read all of them already lol)

[supertransural]

supernatural made me realize a bunch of shit about myself, specifically identity and it’s part of the reasons why i think it’s an inherently queer story.

allow me to clarify. once upon a time, 6 years ago, i found supernatural. back then i was mostly in the closet, even to myself. i’d gotten to that point of “hah wouldn’t it be nice to be like guys on tv and kiss the pretty girls” but not much further than that, because in most of the movies i had watched with my parents, the personality of the guy wasn’t really explored in the way supernatural (mostly unintentionally ngl) does with its characters.

so picture a teen, finding my first tv show to watch alone, being able to think my very own comments about it and not fear any repercussions from those thoughts because hey, i’m alone in my room i can think what i like about what i’m seeing. and feeling.

and here enters dean. complicated, comes from a rough childhood, parental expectations weighing so heavy on him it’s bleeding through his smiles, has a brother he feels is his duty to protect, is stuck in a loop of denial repression depression sublimation denial repression depression sublimation den-

you get the gist. i related to that guy. and then here he goes getting bi-coded (didn’t know what that was at the time but looking back, i could sure as hell feel it) and then kissing girls on screen, despite his wavering self-confidence. little ol’ gay me was like “yoooo i relate to this character on most of his character points, do i also relate to like..... wanting to do what he does??? do i wanna kiss other girls????”. fast forward one season and i’ve already figured out i was maybe bi. literally thanks to season 1 dean.

so, having figured out this “minor” aspect of myself, i went on youtube to find some other people like me and try to see if i was right to be homophobic towards myself or not. figured out, hey uh, definitely not. so you can also add “it ended up making me try to put a stop to my internalized homophobia” on the list of things that shitpost of a show helped me with.

i went back to the show for another season, relating even more to dean, and “blah blah blah queer coded character blah blah blah gay me could feel it before i knew what it was blah blah blah happy gay stuff”. several seasons passed by before anything new came up on my “hm this show rly out here bringing out all the queer aspects of myself huh” journey, but anyways i was still slowly but surely thinking holy shit i wanna be this goddamn man i want to be dean.

then comes season 4, walzing into my questioning little heart. oof ok, this season hit ALL the right spots for me. because i could feel what was going on between cas and dean and even though everything was still blurry as fuck, the parallel between sam/ruby and dean/cas was clear as day. and i was like “oh so you’re saying there’s a love here and it’s like that tarnished love between sam and ruby and it’s forbidden so that’s why we’re not seeing it and it’s like... gay”. so it made me realize “holy shit, i wanna see more gay content, and it’s ok to want that.”

then cas became another extremely relatable character, because i just kept thinking “he doesn’t really have a gender the same way other humans do” and i shit you not, he started me questioning my own gender. because again, a relatable character that you somewhat identify with that makes you ask questions about their identity INEVITABLY makes you ask questions about yourself. queue me going on youtube yet again to understand this shit a little better. i went through a few months of thinking “maybe i’m nb”, joined a few more gay communities on the internet, started learning about lgbtq+ things, watched a few more gay shows, and basically just grew a little more into my queerness.

fasforward several seasons, a couple gap years where i stopped watching it, and you’ll get to me a year ago. i thought i was a gay woman, fairly happy in that mental space and identity. but then. the whole “i wanna be dean” thing came up a lot again. because he just kept on being more and more visibly queer coded as i kept on learning more about this shit.

lo and behold, i jumped straight into the idea i was trans. and wouldya look at dat, i was right. quarantine happened, so i had to get even more of my interactions through online platforms, and quite obviously hovered around the gayer ones, or at least the lgbtq+ sides of them. and as i kept watching the show on and off, binging the first seasons for the 4th time, i kept learning more and more about myself. and those acts of gay frenzy were always started by seeing something relatable or strange in that show and looking it up. like, legitimately every time.

i found this community on tumblr a few weeks ago because i was tired of having my own little hypotheticals in my head and not knowing if anyone agreed, and the more i’ve been here the more i’ve learned about myself. the more i’ve let go of a lot of internalized hatred. the more i’ve been really ok with myself, as a trans guy. BUT ITS NOT FINISHED YET.

because, as we all know, it is common understanding here that dean is bi. WELL, i’ve been re-binging the show with that mindset finally clear in my head, and the “haha dean relatable lol” thing came up again, except it was really a “haha dean (who is bi) super relatable lol” thing now. so i paused, yet again, to think about that a little more. AND FIGURED OUT I WASNT STRAIGHT, IM BI AS FUCK.

that happened 1 month ago. i thought i’d grown fully into my queer self, that i’d gone through enough realizations and coming outs (to friends only, god forbid i come out to my parents (unfortunately quite literally god forbid lmao) before i’m out of here) for a lifetime. but apparently not. AND IT WAS STILL BECAUSE OF SUPERNATURAL. destiel and trans!dean fics helped with my internalized transphobia and homophobia, they helped with acceptance of those parts of myself. something that helped was also seeing the fact that shipping two guys in a tv show wasn’t just “being greedy with my grubby little gay hands” and wanting to think of a character as trans wasn’t just “being delusional and ridiculous”. and reading fics wasn’t cringy, it was nice and comforting.

so to try and sum up this unhinged gay rant, what i meant by my initial statement is this.

looking back on this entire self-discovery journey that i went on, it really felt like i was in the impala with the boys, except i was on a different kind of route (just picture this giant road painted in rainbow colors with baby driving at 80mph on it, that’s what it felt like). i grew with those characters, but most importantly i grew THANKS to those characters. their story was queer enough to make me, a fairly homophobic, traditional, conservative kid into a lib trans bi dude. and not in a “i got converted by the fandoms” way. i found the fandom waaaaayyyyyyyy later. i stumbled upon the fandoms looking for answers about this gayass goddamn show that i could FEEL was like me but couldn’t verbalize yet.

their story felt like a queer self discovery story and i could already see that before i went on it myself. no other shows have ever done that for me, and i’ve watched shows that had lgbtq+ characters in them, scripted gay scenes, not just subtext but text. and they still didn’t do that for me.

so this is why this show is so meaningful to be, and incidentally so very gay. like genuinely.