#quiz isn’t mine

[psychedelicised]

YEAH BITCH !!!

[zeltqz]

imagine armin taking the rice purity test lol

“Hey Armin...” 

He looks up from his book at you, sitting pretty next to him.

The way you said his name has him on his guard, on the edge of his seat. Your voice is so crisp and steady, yet the playful look in your eye tells him you’re up to no good.

“Yeah?”

“You like taking tests, right?”

“...yeah?”

You hand your phone out to him, nodding your head towards it as he looks at you skeptically. 

You sigh. “It’s not a bomb, Armin. Take my phone and do the test.”

“What test?”

“Do it and you’ll see.” You slip off the couch, stretching your arms out in the air and yawn, body feeling light as you let out all the tension from your muscles. “Call me when you’re done.”

You don’t offer much more of an explanation when you trod off to the kitchen, humming a tune under your breath. Armin looks down at the phone screen. It’s a simple looking quiz, the words Rice Purity Test in red letters at the top has him a little confused. 

Why does he need to take a test on rice? And what is so pure about rice?

Most importantly, why did you look so cheeky when handing the phone to him when it’s a test about…rice?

He tosses his book to the side, careful to keep the bookmark from slipping out. Slowly he begins to tick off the boxes. Held hands romantically? He’s never been in a relationship, nor had he ever had the courage to talk to his crush before so no.

Been on a date? Nope. Danced without leaving room for Jesus? What? 

It takes him a little moment before he gets it, the lightbulb inside his brain flickers on, flashing as bright and yellow as his hair.

 A small gasp leaving his throat has you snickering from the kitchen, already having a feeling he’s finally understood the true intentions behind this test. 

He slaps a hand over his mouth, eyes wide, fingers hesitating to scroll down further. He doesn’t consider himself a dirty person, nor someone that has sexual thoughts very often, but hanging out with Connie and Jean has its perks (he hates sitting next to Connie in class because he makes it his personal job to draw little balls on the corners of Armin’s notebook), He’s able to deduce their dirty jokes in record time before they laugh at him for being as innocent as the pure driven snow. 

He may not be dirty minded, but he isn’t clueless. 

“Armin, is everything ok?” you call out, hiding a laugh when he doesn’t verbally respond, only nodding his head, his fluffy sandy hair moving with the movement. “Tell me when you’re done.”

He’s tuned you out at this point, now forgetting scrolling through the test in chronological order, skipping half the questions to read the rest. It only gets worse. The questions are more obscene, explicit, X-rated, questions ranging from sexual activity, to drugs, to—oh my god, is that beasitality..?— law breaking criminal activity, and just the mere thought of him completing these has his cheeks flushing hot from embarrassment.

You’re able to sneak up behind him, crossed arms resting on the back of the couch. “I scored 70.”

He visibly jumps when your silky voice is so close beside his ear, and he can smell the strawberry flavoured milkshake you’d been drinking on your breath. “70?” he asks, and you nod your head, taking another sip. “Is that good?”

“It means I’m not a whore, a junkie, or a weirdo if that’s what you’re asking—”

“I wasn’t asking that—”

“—but if you think mine is bad, you should see Eren and Jean. Holy fuck, we did it after class and Jean scored 66, Eren scored 64. Connie definitely lied because he said he’d scored 40 but we all know that’s straight up bullshit. Mikasa refused to take it and Sasha scored 90.”

Armin blinks at you, stunned for a moment. He didn’t realise this test was sucha  big deal and that everyone  took it. Now he’s a little embarrassed because he knows he will score lower than his male counterparts. It’s not that he’s a virgin…ok, he’s a virgin, but by choice. 

He gets attention at school, girls show their attraction to him, but he always declines politely, mainly because they’re probably using him to boost their own ego, wanting to go after the more quiet one for whatever reasons they have in their mind. 

“Go on, continue. Don’t let me stop you.” You take another sip of the milkshake, and maybe there’s something in the air, maybe the test had gotten to his head because he focuses on the way your lips wrap around the bottle, the few drops of the milkshake dribbling down your chin has him taking a shaky breath, his mind already replacing that image with something else. 

“Uh…ok, okay yeah,” he stutters out, ripping his gaze from your face back down to your phone. 

His nerves are racing ten times faster with the feel of your eyes watching every movement of his fingers, each box he ticks off. It’s a good thing he can’t see your face, he doesn’t wanna know what kind of face you’re making when you watch him skip past almost every single box, fingers hesitating before ticking off the Masturbated to a picture or video? box. 

“You what?” You shriek out by accident, making him visibly jump once more from the sudden raise of your voice. “I would never have guessed that, holy shit.”

“It’s—”

“Relax, Armin,” you giggle helplessly, “you look like you’re 'bout to faint. It’s not a bad thing to masturbate. I just never expected that from you. So…” you tilt your head to the side, corner of your lips curling up in a wry smirk, “ who did you jerk off to?”

“I—I, well, I didn’t—”

“Was it porn?”

“No—”

“Someone we know?”

“I—”

“Was it Annie?”

“No—” His face is beet-red at this point and you swear he’s sweating profusely. 

“Are you going to tell me even if I get it right?”

“No…”

You sigh , long, exasperated, shifting to sit next to him on the couch, knee knocking against his from how close you sat. “Alright that’s fair, I guess.”

He blinks at you with those intoxicatingly innocent eyes of his. “I don’t think I’m going to score that high on this.”

“I know that. This is probably the first test you’ll ever fail.” At that he frowns, and you reach out to pinch his cheeks, “don’t be sad, failing this test ain’t a bad thing. It’s kinda good. Means that you’re still…uh, how do I say this politely? Uh—innocent? I dunno, just know it ain’t anything bad, so don’t get upset.”

“Yeah?”

You nod your head. “If anything, the lower score you get on this, the more I don’t trust you. ‘Cause whaddya mean you snorted coke and ran from the police?”

He lets out a genuine breathless laugh, feeling a surge of confidence course its way through his veins. “Ok, I’ll finish the test.”

A couple moments later, he hands you back the phone, a bright red 96 as the final score. Your eyebrows lift when you see it, taking a quick peek over at him. He’s red as a tomato at this point, purposefully trying to avoid your gaze, eyes darting everywhere but your face. 

“You’ve never even kissed someone before?” His cheeks tint impossibly redder as he avoids your question, and you bite at your lip. “Want me to teach you?”

He finally looks at you, eyes wide in shock. “Huh?”

“I asked if you want me to teach you.”

“Teach me how to k—kiss?”

You shrug your shoulders, like what you’re proposing isn’t a big deal at all. It’s really not. To someone like you, kissing isn’t even that deep. It’s just a kiss. But to Armin? He feels like he can’t even get a proper sentence out. 

“If you don’t wanna it’s okay, I won’t be offended.”

“It’s not that—I just…won’t it be weird?”

“Hm?” You shift a little closer to him on the couch, till his back is against the armrest and you’re hovering over him, arms by the side of his face. “It’ll be weird if you make it weird.”

You feel a rush of adrenaline flush down your body when he looks up at you, his mouth agape, breathless as his eyes drop down to your lips. You lean closer for the benefit of it, ensuring your mere presence is enough to make his heart stutter in his chest. 

“Is that a yes, Armin?” 

His throat bobs when he swallows, eyes fluttering as he takes in the sight of you, gazing down at him suggestivly. The deep, prolonged, eye contact has his cheeks burning red. He gathers the saliva in his mouth to moisten it up, worried his voice would come out hoarse otherwise. “Yes.”

“Okay—” You’re leaning in closer. His world goes in slow motion. “I’m gonna kiss you now.”

“O—okay.” 

His eyes remain open for the first few seconds your lips press against his. It’s slow, slow enough for him to learn the proper movements, tilting his head to the side to properly angle his mouth into yours. The kiss isn’t a full on make out yet, and he freezes up when he feels the tip of your tongue slide against his bottom lip. You suck his lip into your mouth, pulling away to look him in the eye, soak in the sight of him falling apart under you before letting go. 

“How was that?”

“It was good…yeah, yeah good.” 

“Alright, now—” you sink backwards to grab your phone, unlock it, then hand it back to him. “—now you can tick that off the list.”

[drewsbuzzcut]

Visceral In Doses

mat barzal x model!fem!reader

series warnings: mentions of sex, curse words, bits of angst, small age gap (5 years), mentions of nudity, mentions of alcohol, mentions of anxiety and other mental health related talk

series masterlist: continued masterlist

blurbs will be found in the “visceral in doses blurbs” tag

☀️: the summer series 🎞️: the vogue series🎄: holiday series

first weeks:

Nothing Like The Rain

Hook, Line, And Sinker

Dangerous

Losing Our Balance

months 1-3

Let The Chaos Begin

The Waiting Game

Something For The Pain And Something So I Sleep

Drama Isn’t Picky

months 4-6

13

Drunk Off You & ig edit

Haze

21

I Love The Sound, I Love The Taste ☀️

Summertime And The Living’s Easy ☀️

Pleasing ☀️

Cherries And Cream ☀️

Paradise ☀️

1 year

A Peek Behind The Curtain

No Home Without Me

Date Nights

I Wanna Stay Here Forever

Day In The Life

Angel

The Very First Christmas 🎄

Christmas Trees & Ice Skating 🎄

2 Years

Decisions

Daddy

Breaking The Internet

I Can Feel Your Heart Beatin’ With Mine

Bliss

Falling Fast, Breathing Slow

Stars All Aligned

Words We Don’t Mean

Words We Don’t Mean pt. 2

The Countdown Begins

Nolan Rhodes Barzal

The Beginning

Undying Love

Beach Bums

You’re My Remedy

Mother

3 Years

Kiss It Better

Boy’s Day… Plus Mom

Vineyard Adventures ☀️

Flicks From Italy ☀️

Surprise!

Countdown To The Wedding

Pre-wedding Requisites

Mother’s Day Special

4 Years

KUWTB

Only Light Up…

My Dear Devoted Delicate

I Love My Name Inside Your Voice

Introducing: The Barzals

Mrs. Barzal

You Can Hear It In The Silence

Won’t You Comfort Me

The Best Is Yet To Come

5 Years

Baby Angel

Grateful

Barzy’s Birthday Bash

Perfect In Denim

How It Started

Searching For Answers

We’ve Got A Problem

I Tore You Right Apart

X Marks The Spot

Forever Doesn’t Measure

Life Filled With Joy

Pregnant And Thriving

6 Years

Back Like We Never Left

Round 3

Midnights Like This

Babygirl Barzal

73 Questions 🎞️

Insight 🎞️

Beauty Secrets 🎞️

The It Girl 🎞️

24 Hours 🎞️

Preparations 🎞️

The Big Night

About Last Night

Pulling You Apart

Forever And Ever

GQ’s Couple’s Quiz

Mine

Body Electric

Barzal Film Reel

The Family Man

Don’t You Ever Grow up

You Can’t Slow Time

My Body Is Your Alarm Clock

I Feel You No Matter What

All Treats For The Barzals

Frustration

Thanksgiving Shenanigans 🎄

Under The Mistletoe 🎄

The First Christmas Party 🎄

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

hi! i have a question i’m directing at you bc i’ve seen the idea going around tumblr but most recently on your post — if a student is caught using ai to cheat do you think that’s worth expulsion? should that be the best case scenario punishment? while i understand the importance of making it known to students the severity of using chatgp, at the same time i feel like that’s a very harsh punishment for being caught cheating. but then also at the same time! i’m not a teacher and i don’t know if it’s possible to teach a student to value their education and the opportunity they have for high learning if they don’t already personally believe that the opportunity is a gift. idk! this isn’t really a structured question but i guess i’m curious about how you (or in general, how professors) feel about expulsion for chatgp (i know you’re just one person and don’t speak on behalf of all educators lol but it’s just something i’ve been curious about)

Expulsion as in, ejected wholesale from the entire university, Do Not Darken Our Door Again? No, I don't.

I think what outsiders tend to miss is that students who do this, 99% of the time, are desperate. Something has gone terribly wrong, they're desperate to meet those deadlines and get that work done, and in my experience it's almost always wrapped up in neurodivergence (usually undiagnosed) and frequently a home situation that's made their lives a shit show and pushed academia to a back burner.

But, it's a more serious issue than high school cheating on a multiple choice quiz. Degrees are crafted to have quality assurance built in, and with good reason. The whole point of a degree is that it's proof of higher learning, and specialist knowledge - you get a higher salary (in theory lol) because your employer is paying for the very expensive training you've undergone. This is particularly important in something like medicine or construction, because if you haven't actually completed all parts of that degree you could kill someone; but even in my own field, if you fundamentally don't understand the physical processes of a sand dune as well as its ecology, and someone hires you to manage that sand dune... well, it's going to be an over-stabilised mess in about five years' time and you've killed the rare sand lizards and mining bees that were living there. And if your degree is a course in an institution who is famous for producing top quality environmental workers who know this stuff... well, you've just made your uni course look very, very bad in industry.

So unis are protective of their quality assurance, and that means they do not like cheaters. And I do agree with that, that's fair enough.

For me, though, I think the answer is not full expulsion. I would run it like this:

Confirm beyond a shadow of a doubt that the student has indeed cheated. This must be confirmed.

IF NOT CONFIRMED: Mark the work strictly. Pair this with a viva - the student must be able to answer questions about the work from two lecturers with subject expertise, plus someone from the Academic Office (although that latter person can just observe only). This will determine how deep their knowledge is vs what they submitted, and should be factored into the overall mark.

IF CONFIRMED: Module fail, all marks for those credits set to zero, and the information included on transcripts (not why they failed, just that they attempted the module and got zero.) HOWEVER, the student is allowed one resit attempt; this might mean having to redo the year as a part-time student just to get that module, depending on how it's taught and how important it is.

All of the above with the understanding that their work is going to now be checked very closely going forward for repeat issues. In confirmed cases, a viva is now a required part of future work.

To be fair, mind, proving cheating is genuinely very hard, so depending on how strict the uni is, that's roughly the system that gets used anyway. Your work is very strictly marked, you get viva'd, and you usually fail on quality anyway (especially if your flavour of cheating was ChatGPT, because what it produces is shit.) After you've failed, gone through a resit period, and been capped at a pass mark for the fail, you realise pretty quickly that it would have been less stress and effort for a higher mark to just do the work yourself. And that's a learning curve everyone should be allowed, I think.

[sadesluvr]

Mickey Altieri x Sorority! Reader HC's

A/N: Heyy! This is my first time writing for SCREAM so please be nice :) Mickey is literally babygirl and I wanted more content of him! There's not much smut in this, but I might make these a full fic idk >:3

Right out the bat Mickey isn’t the biggest fan of sorority girls - We all saw what he did to Cece, but…

You meet the group through Sid and Hallie at a costume party, dressed as a cat

Mickey’s first instinct is to judge you for being basic, but takes an interest once you recognise Randy’s obscure horror movie costume

They both quiz you on movies and even though you can’t answer everything, they definitely like you

He sees Randy taking too much of an interest in you and sends him off to get drinks

He uses the opportunity to get you alone. The liquor is flowing through both of you and you end up having a drunken kiss

Normal stuff for a college party ----

After this he secretly becomes obsessed

Enemies to lovers from here on!!

'Oh Mickey!' is your song

You’re different w/o alcohol, a little more ‘stuck up’, but still nothing like the 'other' girls ™️ (Mickey's thoughts, not mine!)

MICKEY TEASES YOU ABOUT EVERYTHING! - “Come on YN, you’re an adult, why do you still call your dad ‘Daddy’?” / “Maybe we can use YN’s $500 bracelet to help us see in the dark,”

You return the energy right back - “It’s Tiffany’s, and it was only $350,”💅

He rolls his eyes or smirks but loves arguing with you

He dangles the drunk kiss over your head CONSTANTLY 

“You didn’t hate me that night when we —“

You constantly deny it but you’re playing hard to get, really

EVERYBODY can see what’s going on, even if they’re a little bit confused bc you’re from different worlds

He drops in on a your clubs/rallies/parties etc, just to agitate you

He brings you gifts as a ‘joke’, like flowers or coffee to make fun of how high maintenance you are but it’s an act of love

LOVES watching you get ready. He’s proud as fuck to have a hot, rich girlfriend and he’s going to show/tell everyone about it - “Pink is definitely your colour…”

He's a little diva

Lots of giggles and teasing

He may be a psycho but he’s actually rather romantic

When you finally hang out with him in his setting - Either at the movies or his dorm etc, he’s totally different 

He still makes fun of you, but genuinely wants to know you more

Gets you to talk about yourself, (maybe for the wrong reasons) and you only learn basic things about him

He’s kind of a mystery but you like it

He isn't surprised to find out your Dad has a high powered job, but gets REALLY turned on when he finds out you’re the daughter of a lawyer

For obvious reasons, you become more alluring to him then

A cute, peppy sorority girl from a family of lawyers sleeping with a ruthless killer? It’s dangerous, and Mickey LIVES for danger 

He’d even be willing to get caught just to have your Dad defend him

It’s the ultimate power play

Calls you up as Ghostface that night to give you a bit of a spook - “I can tell you’re a Daddy’s girl. I’ve seen you around campus, with your fancy watches and pretty necklaces…Tell me, what does he do? Oh, a lawyer? I don’t like those…”

He cums so hard to the thought of ruining you; tearing off your short skirts and preppy blazers to run his knife over your body whilst your Dad watches, totally defenceless 

Shortly after this he asks you out on an actual date

He’s confident but is somewhat surprised when you say yes 

“You know ‘Daddy’ wouldn’t approve of me, right?” / “He doesn’t have to know…”

The sexual tension is off the roof now

You do it in your bedroom even though boys aren’t allowed in the sorority house, and the danger gets him riled up

That and your expensive lingerie

You don’t GAF when Cece and the other girls vote you out of the sorority 

She doesn’t last long after this anyway

As you date he keeps you in the dark as much as possible about his Ghostface antics, but he’s not hiding himself either. He’s more than prepared for drama should the ‘sick fuck’ be caught.

[taytak3syou]

”my love, i have a question” the man said as he walked into the room, a towel around his waist. you looked over at him from your desk, not letting his abs, which were dripping with water, go unseen. “hit me” you replied as he walked over to his dresser and started looking for something to wear. “is there a reason you have a pair of boxers on the bathroom floor?” he asked and your eyebrows furrowed and you looked over. “huh?” you said, in pure confusion. “there’s a pair of boxers on the bathroom floor, they aren’t mines. who’s are they?” he asked as he dropped his towel and started to put on his clothes. “babe, trust me, there yours” you tried to assure him. “no, they aren’t. i only wear calvin klein” he said as he was pulling up his sweatpants. “well i don’t know who’s they’d be” you said and you brought your attention back to your book you had to read for your next quiz coming up. “y/n, be honest. are they kenma’s?” the man said and you looked over at him, eyes slightly wide. “kuroo.” you said sternly and he chuckled, a smirk spreading across his face. “it isn’t funny, i told you not to speak of him in my house anymore. he’s a liar and a cheater and i don’t wanna hear his name” you said, as serious as you’ve ever been. if only you hadn’t had a boyfriend that made almost everything a joke. “i remember when you’d post a bunch of pictures of you two on instagram…” he said, now slowly walking towards you. “always saying how much you loved him, right?” he looked at you, right in your eyes. your eyes were filled with nothing but anger. “kuroo.” you said, your voice in a warning tone. he smirked as he stood right in front of you, looking down at you. “yes, ms kozume?” he said, the name just rolling off his tongue. you raised your hand to hit him but he knew exactly what he was doing, so he knew what you were doing. he grabbed your hand and placed it to your side. out of instinct, your other hand raised, only to be stopped and put in the same place. “there mines, l/n” he admitted and you rolled your eyes and took your hands from his grip and pushed him away, spinning back to your desk to continue reading. “go read a book tetsu.”

[fayes-fics]

Bahaha imagine reader in Moments watching high Benedict for the first time🤣

Moments: A High Moment

Moments Masterpost

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader

Summary: Benedict says some interesting things while high.

Warnings: none… just fluff

Word Count: 0.5k

Authors Note: Hi Nonny! Well after saying I wouldn’t be writing any celebration drabbles… look what you made me do!! This thought was too cute/fluffy/fun not to write down. I was planning some Moments-verse one-shots, but this wasn’t one of them haha. This outtake would be set somewhere between chapters 8 & 9 of Moments, when the Darbys are sojourning at Aubrey Hall. (ie they all know James is Benedict’s son, but it’s before reader and Benedict get together). Unbetaed. Enjoy! <3

“Jamesssss, can you see? So many colours lookkkkk,” Benedict slurs with a happy grin, his eye pressed against an empty crystal glass as you all await dinner service.

James picks up his glass and smushes it against his face. “I see! I seeeee!” he enthuses.

The fact he has his little 5-year-old eye closed makes it more adorable somehow, not quite cottoning on, but loving the attention from his favourite person.

You turn pointedly to Colin. “He was fine before you went to see him; what happened?” You quiz quietly.

“This,” Colin gestures at Benedict, who is now staring at the ceiling with a frown, “is NOT my fault. I merely offered a small elixir. I did not suggest he drain my supply. If anything, I should be the indignant one, I have nothing left!” he argues. You just raise an eyebrow.

“Benedict, I can see mummy in my glass!” James exclaims, giggling, turning towards you, looking through the bottom of the glass at you. You smile indulgently at him and pull a funny face that makes him laugh more.

“Alas, James, I cannot in mine!” Benedict pouts in response, “you must have a very special glass. Can I borrow it?”

James happily stands up on his chair and passes it over.

“Oh yes!! I see her now,” Benedict says happily, fixing the glass in your direction, “she is so very pretty, isn’t she, James?”

The table goes quiet, and you blush.

“Mummy is very pretty,” James concurs, oblivious to the audience the pair now have. “She says I’m handsome too.”

“Of course you are!” Benedict cries in agreement.

“Yes, she told me my daddy was the most beautiful man she ever saw, and she couldn’t help but create me with him.” James babbles on, playing with his fork idly. You wish the floor would swallow you up as you feel everyone’s eyes on you.

“Well, I think you are the most beautiful creature ever created,” Benedict declares, dropping his fist to the table as if to emphasise his point. “So your mummy is very wise. She is wise and pretty and lovely. So very lovely.”

You stare at him as he lowers the glass from his face, lips parted, heart pounding at his words.

“She is also very naughty cos she stole my heart many years ago and never gave it back,” Benedict says in a stage whisper to James, behind his hand, “but shhhhh, that part is a secret!”

Your stomach flips and butterflies roar to life in your rib cage—something breathtaking and bittersweet all at once.

“I won’t tell her,” James whispers back loudly with a conspiratorial wink.

They both turn to you and grin innocently, humming a nonchalant tune. Everyone at the table seems to chuckle, and quiet conversation resumes, no doubt about what they just witnessed.

After a few moments of thought, you turn to Colin and say quietly. “Are you sure there is none left?”

He smiles enigmatically and asks why.

“No reason,” you say quickly, your cheeks blushing yet again.

At that point, Benedict tips off his chair, James gets the hiccups from laughing so hard, and the moment is gone.

Benedict taglst: @makaylan @foreverlonginguniverse @iboopedyournose @wysteria-clad @colettebronte @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @margofiore @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat Moments only taglist: @queenofshinigamis @khaleesjj @starslibrary @magical-spit @honeylovemoon @justwant2read8421

[anangelwhodidntfall]

Intimacy Challenge: Day (10)

30 Day Intimacy Challenge

word count: 1.5k

Day 10: Take this quiz to discover your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to better connect with your loved ones.

Neteyam:

You both sat quietly finishing up your love language tests, curious to see what each of your love languages was. You finished up first and waited for Neteyam, who finished a few seconds later, after swapping tests, you two calculated the results for each other. 

"So what's mine?" Neteyam asked you. 

"It's words of affirmation, which makes sense to me." You said to him. 

"Really? How's that?" He asked you. 

"It's just that I notice when I compliment you on something you've done and I notice how happy it makes you. Does hearing me compliment you or tell you what a good job you are doing, make you happy?" You asked him. 

"It does. Hearing you say how good am at something, or how I look good, makes my day. Helps me know that I make you happy if that makes sense." He said squeezing your hand. 

"It does. I'll try to do better about handing them out because you really do make me happy even if I forget to tell you sometimes." You said smiling at him.

 "I know you do but doesn't hurt to hear it." He said placing a kiss on your forehead. 

"Alright, so what is mine?" You asked him. 

"Your is quality time together which surprised me." He said.

 "It's not me. I love having your undivided attention and/or working on tasks together." You said to him.

 "Really? How can I be about this? Because I know I'm not the best at doing this." He asked you. 

"Giving me your undivided attention or one on one time where we just work on our own things. Because even if we aren't talking to each other, I can still feel your love for me while being in the same room." You said to him.

 "Is that why when we work on stuff together in the same room, you always seem happy?" He asked. 

"Yeah, it is." You said.

Jake:

You both sat quietly finishing up your love language tests, curious to see what each of your love languages was. You both finished at the same time and swapped tests, and began calculating the results for each other.

"Alright sweetness, you love language is Acts of Service." He said which made sense to you.

"You don't seem surprised." He said making you laugh.

"Because I'm not. I love when you offer to help me out with any tasks I've gotta do or just take initiative and make breakfast or food for me or just do something to help lessen my day." You said to him.

"That's why I love offering to do your work for you or anything to help you out, to make your day easier for you, so it looks like I really know you." He said with a smirk.

"Remind me why I am with you again. Because surely it isn't because of this cockiness." You said.

"Oh stop it, sweetheart, you love me and you know it. Now tell me what mine is." He said placing a kiss on your lips.

"Not shocking to anyone here but your is physical touch. You said to him.

"I mean I do love when you show me physical affection." He said.

"And you showing me that is why I am so comfortable showing it to you, to letting you know that I love you and feel safe with you." You said placing a kiss on his lips.

Z-dog:

You both sat quietly finishing up your love language tests, curious to see what each of your love languages was. You had finished first, and you could tell that your girlfriend was anxious as she took, so you reached over and squeezed her thigh giving her a smile.

"Don't be anxious, this will only help me be a better partner to you." You said as she nodded her head.

After she finished up her test, you two swapped them and calculated each other's results. You knew she was nervous about her results so you decided to tell her, her results first.

"Alright baby, your love language is Quality Time which means you love uninterrupted time talking with someone else or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with others through sharing time." You said.

"That actually makes sense. I love it when I can just have one on one time with you, or just your undivided attention for five minutes. I also love when we can work on our tasks in the same room, and I can look up and see you." She said.

"How do you think I do about this? Is there anything I can improve about it?" You asked her.

"Actually no there isn't. You are pretty good about giving me your undivided attention and making sure we have one on one time." She said making you smile as she lightly pecked your lips.

"That must mean I know you pretty well." You said to her with a smile.

"You do sweetheart. Now for your results, your love language is receiving gifts which aren't all that surprising to me." She said.

"Yeah not to me either, I love when you bring me things back makes me feel loved and to know that you are actually thinking about me throughout your day." You said.

"You think I do a good job about that or that I need some improvement?" She asked pulling you into her lap.

"No, you do a really really good job about it actually. As you noticed I'm starting to run out of room from all your gifts, but that just shows me how much you love and think about me." You said.

"I'm always thinking about you sweetheart." She said pressing a kiss to your lips.

Tsu'tey:

Personally, Tsu'tey didn't feel the need to take the test at first, he felt like you two knew each other very well but after some pouting and convincing from you, he decided to take it. He had finished a few minutes before you did and once you finished you guys decided to calculate each other's results.

"Should I go first?" You asked as he nodded.

"So your love language is words of affirmation which means you love being complimented and told when you do something right. Does that seem right?" You asked him.

"It does actually. I love it when you compliment me on something or tell me what a good or very rarely do something bad." He said as you nodded your head.

"I've noticed that too, how happy you'll get or how if you're having a bad day or something and I tell you what you are good at, you'll perk up and your tail will start swishing happily. I'll try to do more of it." You said.

"Yawne, you already do an excellent job of it. But if you wanna compliment me all day, then I won't complain." He said with a smile.

"We'll see about that baby, now what is mine?" You asked curiously.

"Yours is Physical Touch. I have noticed that over the course of our relationship that you do love physical touch." He said as you nodded your head.

"It's true I do, I love when you hold my hand, give me a kiss or multiple, hug me, or any type of physical touch really. It lets me know that you love me and are comfortable with me." You said giving him a smile as he reached for your hand.

"I do. I love you so much yawne and want everyone to know that as well." He said placing a kiss on your lips.

"Good because I love you too." You said.

Tarsem:

You both sat quietly finishing up your love language tests, curious to see what each of your love languages was. You both finished at the same time and swapped tests, and began calculating the results for each other.

"My love, your love language is gift giving." You said to him.

"That makes sense. I love giving gifts, especially to you, I love when I am able to find something that reminds me of you, and then get to bring it to you and see that big smile of yours because of how much you love it." He said with a smile.

"I love when you bring me back something that reminded you of me. Your gifts always make me smile and hold so much meaning to me." You said kissing him.

"Good that makes me so happy to hear." He said.

"Alright, so what is mine?" You asked him.

"Your is was words of affirmation. Do you actually like it when I compliment you or tell you what a good job, you are doing?" He asked you.

"Yes, you know my childhood wasn't the best, so hearing what a good job I'm doing in work or in our relationship, means a lot to me." You said to him.

"I promise to compliment you more, but I can tell you now that you do such a great job in your everyday tasks, and especially in our relationship and I'm sorry if I don't tell you more." He said squeezing your hand.

"It's alright my love, you didn't know. That's why we took this so we can improve our relationship." You said.

[autumnrose11]

Liveblogging on Chapter 7 of Northanger Abbey.

JOHN THORPE SEEMS LIKE A TWAT. I DO NOT CARE FOR HIM.

He talks too much and for too long. He got the gig for fifty guineas and goes on and on about it. How absolutely riveting.

Seems inconsiderate towards his horse. News flash, JT: 23 miles isn’t a short distance.  “Rest! he has only come three-and-twenty miles today; all nonsense; nothing ruins horses so much as rest; nothing knocks them up so soon. No no; I shall exercise mine at the average of four hours every day while I am here.” I feel very sorry for the horse.

He bashes Camilla simply because the authoress married a French emigrant. What an astute book critic. Gave me very bad vibes there.

He pissed me off when he commented on women’s looks.  “Her companion's discourse now sunk from its hitherto animated pitch, to nothing more than a short decisive sentence of praise or condemnation on the face of every woman they met.” He strikes me as the type to objectify/sexualise young women and thinks he is entitled to make derogatory remarks on their physical appearances. Nobody asked for your opinion, dude.

He pissed me off even further when he was of the opinion that  “Novels are all so full of nonsense and stuff” and implied he had better things to do. Boooooo!

Absolutely zero respect for his mother and his sisters (and I think women in general).  “"Ah, mother! how do you do?" said he, giving her a hearty shake of the hand: '"where did you get that quiz of a hat, it makes you look like an old witch.” And also....  “On his two younger sisters he then bestowed an equal portion of his fraternal tenderness, for he asked each of them how they did, and observed that they both looked very ugly.” WHAT. THE. HELL. What is it with him dissing their looks the second he sees them?!? If that’s how he speaks to his mother and sisters, God help the poor girl who has the misfortune of becoming his wife.

Catherine, please DO NOT GO for any carriage rides with this guy. Nope. Stay away.

So those are my thoughts on Chapter 7 :) Still loving NA and Catherine!!!

[sapphyreopal5]

More synchronocities... it seems the common symbol showing up from their direction is now wolves. On April 19, 2024 I randomly took a spirit animal test. Weirdly enough, I answered almost every question with the water or tropical answers yet got wolf, even when I took the quiz a second time changing some answers that same day, and took it again today to see if it would change and nope. I insist my spirit animal is either the orca or the dolphin, I have plenty of decor and a couple blankets in my house showing I'm big on both ha ha. Anyways... I ended up getting the wolf and thought this is just strange.

The Taylor Swift song I've talked about both here 4 days ago April 24, 2024 in the morning and here later on that day (both of which separately pertain to Jensen and Jared respectively) is "The Prophecy" which happens to have been released on April 19, 2024. Her Instagram post about it states: "It’s a 2am surprise: The Tortured Poets Department is a secret DOUBLE album. ✌️ I’d written so much tortured poetry in the past 2 years and wanted to share it all with you, so here’s the second installment of TTPD: The Anthology. 15 extra songs. And now the story isn’t mine anymore… it’s all yours. 🤍" Apparently this is Taylor's 11th studio album. And yes, 3 times the charm with this wonderful song!

The lyrics are as follows (which includes a line of howling at the moon like a wolf and looking unstable):

Hand on the throttle Thought I caught lightning in a bottle Oh, but it's gone again And it was written I got cursed like Eve got bitten Oh, was it punishment? Pad around when I get home I guess a lesser woman would've lost hope A greater woman wouldn't beg But I looked to the sky and said Please I've been on my knees Change the prophecy Don't want money Just someone who wants my company Let it once be me Who do I have to speak to About if they can redo The prophecy? Cards on the table Mine play out like fools in a fable, oh It was sinking in Slow is the quicksand Poison blood from the wound of the pricked hand Oh, still I dream of him Please I've been on my knees Change the prophecy Don't want money Just someone who wants my company Let it once be me Who do I have to speak to About if they can redo The prophecy? And I sound like an infant Feeling like the very last drops of an ink pen A greater woman stays cool But I howl like a wolf at the moon And I look unstable Gathered with a coven round a sorceress' table A greater woman has faith But even statues crumble if they're made to wait I'm so afraid I sealed my fate No sign of soulmates I'm just a paperweight In shades of greige Spending my last coin so someone will tell me It'll be ok Please I've been on my knees Change the prophecy Don't want money Just someone who wants my company Let it once be me Who do I have to speak to About if they can redo The prophecy? Who do I have to speak to To change the prophecy? Hand on the throttle Thought I caught lightning in a bottle, oh But it's gone again Pad around when I get home I guess a lesser woman would've lost hope A greater woman wouldn't beg But I looked to the sky and said Please

On April 23, 2024 some time around 9PMish EST, Charlie had this in his story with the caption "enjoy the moon". Of course, we can't forget that the solar Eclipse that passed through a lot of the USA took place on April 8, 2024. I was not aware of this when I had made a couple posts that included the lyrics for Taylor Swift's new song "The Prophecy" from her latest album The Tortured Poets Department, which she released around 2AM or so also on April 19, 2024 (same day I took this spirit animal test).

Someone sent me a couple interesting posts also pertaining to wolves, separately with Gen and Danneel in each of them funnily enough on April 26, 2024. This one with Danneel and Jensen being compared to a couple of wolves in this post was made that same day.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Crazy Little Thing (@inst_marinkaja)

This Instagram post regarding Gen and reporter Stacy Keibler releasing a report for People Magazine titled "Stacy Keibler and Genevieve Padalecki Share What They Hope to Teach Their Daughters When They’re Older" (full People Magazine article was posted online here). Interestingly enough, I'm looking at the inspect page info using Chrome and see it was published initially April 25, 2024 at 14:49:06.931 and modified last at 15:48:23.811 per the Inspect Page data obtained from my Chrome browser as of today 7:50:11PM EST when I checked my desktop clock (what is going on here with me and 11s and time today?!)

Part of the report that's quoted in this Instagram post says:

“I hope to teach my daughter to embrace who you are and where you are. Don’t apologize for being you,” Padalecki shares. “Be kind, but be strong. Listen, but also be heard. And run with the wolves. Own your wild.” “I love this quote from Women Who Run With Wolves, ‘The way to maintain one’s connection to the wild is to ask yourself what it is that you want. This is the sorting of the seed from the dirt,’ “ - says the mom of three. “’One of the most important discriminations we can make in this matter is the difference between things that beckon to us and things that call from our souls.’ Do not be afraid to listen to yourself.” - Genevieve Padalecki. Genevieve and husband Jared Padalecki are parents to daughter Odette, 7, and sons Thomas Colton, 12, and Austin "Shep" Shepard, 10.

Strangely enough, both her and this Stacy have husbands named Jared.

"I hope to teach my daughters first and foremost to practice self-love. I am already trying to teach them the importance of compassion, kindness and generosity towards others," Keibler shares. "I hope to encourage self-confidence and to believe in themselves, their abilities and their worth. I also want to teach my daughters how to bounce back from setbacks, failures, and disappointments. I want to them to view challenges as opportunities for growth and learning," she continues. "I hope I can help them grow into confident, compassionate, and resilient individuals who are empowered to thrive in all aspects of their lives!" Keibler shares daughters Isabella Faith, 4, and Ava Grace, 9, as well as son Bodhi Brooks, 5½, with husband Jared Pobre.

Today April 29, 2024 Charlie also included the wolf icon in his latest Instagram post and compared himself to a wolf. The caption states: "Still learning to be part of pack. Letting go of being a solitary creature. Grateful for the men in my life who let me be and see who I can be. 🐺" A little crazy story, I finished filling up my car and also my gas container for my lawn mower a bit ago around 18:18:40 according to my receipt (6:18:40pm EST), about 21 min before Charlie made this post around 6:39:11pm EST according to the site I went to (cropped, copied and pasted only some tidbits from the website for relevancy sakes here). The number of gallons I paid for? 15.911.

I posted here a couple days ago April 27, 2024 around 5:43pm EST regarding Jensen Ackles and how in the past I speculated 11 is a bad luck number for him and included talking about his post regarding both SPN and The Boys wrapping up filming on 9/10 exactly a year apart but suggested 12 may be a good luck number for him. I noted how the day after 9/10 is 9/11. I also could not help but notice looking back on my posts how the link for this post about Jensen being in LA posted on March 19, 2024 and therefore was notably not with Danneel for her birthday on March 18 contains the number 911. I also talked here, here about how the number 11 shows up in a lot of places regarding Gen and Jared and others on my blog as well.

On a very interesting note, on Feb 19, 2024 it was announced on the Entertainment Events Facebook page that Jared and Gen are no longer attending Infinity Con which happens to take place on... May 11 and May 12, which is Mother's Day. Funnily enough, it's also the same day the Tracker episode Jensen will be guest starring on airs per the announcement made on April 26, 2024, which was 3 days ago. Also as an added bonus with the numbers 3 and 4 showing up here a lot, I noticed on April 3, 2024 Jared posted 3 Walker promo videos prior to Walker Season 4 airing that same day per his official Instagram page [X] [X] [X]. Oh and can't forget, this video post of his has the title "Walker Season 4 in 3 Words" on the thumbnail. The song lyrics for "Evergreen" by Richy Mitch & The Coal Miners in this video are:

Locked in a stalemate With a man who bars no holds Rock and a hard place He's battering control What am I waiting for? Feet planted beneath My compass, my transport

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Jared Padalecki (@jaredpadalecki)

https://www.spiritanimaltest.org/

[why-raven]

quiz: ancient greek deity — yiuno.

Athena — Goddess of Wisdom.

In one word—sharp! You take pride in your skills, wit, and ability to work well with others. (And if you don’t, you should!) Things don't tend to get past you—you’re happy to forgive, but never to forget. You’re responsible and worthy of trust, and those who earn yours are lucky indeed. Remember: not every situation can be evaluated and through through with your head alone. Sometimes, the only way to know what’s right is to follow your heart.

(take the quiz here)

Yiuno’s patron deity is Halone, the Fury.

In Eorzean mythology, Halone is the mover of glaciers and the goddess of war, who commands the element of ice and is associated with the First Astral Moon. According to legends, Halone has a bitter relationship with Nophica, the Matron, due to her ambitions turning into bloodlust as she traveled across the realm with Oschon, the Wanderer. In the Myths of the Realm quest story, Halone’s depicted form is very much influenced by the fervent prayers exhibited by Ishgardians, resulting in her imposing stature and stoic personality.

In Greek mythology, although Ares is commonly known as the god of war, Athena’s military prowess and strong moral compass are associated with the intellectual and civilized side of war; as for Ares, he represents the brutality and lust for blood in wars (Homer’s Iliad). In many verses, Athena has lent her aid to numerous epic heroes, such as Hercules, Perseus, and later Odysseus. However, she can be fairly cruel to those who have incurred her wrath: in Odyssey, Athena punished Odysseus’s rival, Ajax the Great, by driving him insane and compelling him to massacre the Achaeans’ cattle while he thought that he was killing the Achaeans themselves. Even after Odysseus had expressed pity for Ajax, Athena had no remorse for what she did, eventually pushing Ajax to commit suicide out of humiliation.

Halone shares many similarities with Athena: of their appearance, they are both often represented with a spear and shield. (Interestingly, in the Euphrosyne alliance raid, the raid-wide damage during the interlude in Halone’s battle is called “Aegis of Halone” in Japanese, which is a reference to the name of Athena’s magic shield, Aegis.) Halone and Athena are both stern and dignified warriors whom many believes to be a symbol of victory in war. They both have an entire city (Athens for Athena, and Ishgard for Halone) devoted to worship them.

However, they also have numerous differences: Athena does not share a bloodlust for war like Halone, and she has little to no emotional connections with any of the Olympian gods. While Halone’s bloodthirsty nature is perhaps a myth created by Eorzean mortals to explain the relationships between the Twelves, Halone has shown care and concern towards Menphina, the Lover, who is regarded as a little sister to most of the Twelve gods.

Yiuno, too, shares many common traits with Halone and Athena. His actions and decisions are often driven by cold logic, very much like Athena’s cruel rationality. (He might have borderline bloodlust at one point, but that’s venturing into Yiuno’s dark and secretive past.) He can be brutally sarcastic (Athena), though he isn’t completely remorseless and still retains some capability to feel emotions (Halone). Like Athena, it will take quite a while to have Yiuno’s trust, but when you do gain his favor, he will become one of the strongest and most dependable allies you can ever hope for.

Oh, you might even earn a reliable big brother (or sister?) you never thought you’d need… just like Halone to Menphina.

Seeing that @miqojak is bringing back these old quiz games on my dash, I thought I should re-post mine here as I re-organize my blogs after returning from a long hiatus.

Tagging @archaiclumina, @uldahstreetrat, @starforger, @wingedflame since these names have been appearing quite often in my notifs. (A big thank you to all for the kind support on my content!) Of course, anyone is free to join in the fun, and do tag me if you want me to see the results for your blorbos!

[otrtbs]

My brain actually cannot process that you’re writing A Jegulus Secret History art fic. It’s like every interest of mine came together to spawn new holy scripture. I cried genuine tears of joy, while reading it (which past me would say is cringe but happiness isn’t cringe in 2024!). I love WIPs, I love your writing, I love your characters, I love how prominent your passion for art is and how you introduce me to so many new fascinating works (I actually won a pub quiz based on something I learnt from you and that’s v funny to me), and so I don’t care how “self-indulgent” you claim it is in your author’s note, it’s also very me-indulgent and I’m very grateful! I’m so excited to see where you take it and all the cheeky little references so far have had me kicking my feet and giggling!

I hope you have the most incredible day and if it’s not, I wish for an even better one for you tomorrow! x

hi! hello!!

happiness isn't cringe in 2024!!!!! you're so right!!!!

also RAHHHH i am so thrilled i helped you win a pub quiz tangentially. i am so competitive. i watch jeopardy every night. trivia is my Thing so rahhhh!! i'm glad i could help!

okay!! this fic is now 'US-indulgent' my friend <333 im so glad you like it, and thank you for taking time out of your day to pass along this kind message <3

i hope you have a good day/night/life <33333 sending you all the best <33

[trashmouth-richie]

TWIN FLAMES: 10❤️‍🔥

PART 9

8

Summary: eddie makes good on his word

<w.c> 6.2k

Warnings: NO MINORS smut, p in v! Unprotected!sex, gunfire, mentions of drug use etc

A/N: this took me longer than planned but it’s worth it I promise 🫣

Eddie is driving like a maniac through town back to his trailer. Speeding like a bullet shot from a gun through every yellow light, pausing and mentally counting a quick, “1,2,3” as he slows for stop signs. His dark unruly curls whipping around as he swivels his head checking for any other vehicles as he slams again on the gas. He is trying like hell not to look at you, avoiding you like the plague, knowing that if he were to give in to his desires he would pull the van over and indulge, right here in front of the identical houses lining the dim-lit road. Letting all of Hawkins know how good only he can make you feel. Him: Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson. Not the popular,, Steve Harrington, not the ladies man Billy Hargrove— but him. You were his and tonight— all of Forest Hills Trailer Park would know it. He’d make sure of that.

Eddie is gnawing on his bottom lip so hard the previous healed crack has reopened, the taste of blood seeping out onto his tongue. He wipes his mouth with the back of his sweaty calloused hand. Trying everything to just make it back to the trailer, Eddie shoves a tape into the cassette player, trying to numb his brain for a few more minutes, he trains his mind to think of something, anything that isn’t you and your luscious, pouty little smile.

Rewinding his mind like a vcr player Eddie plays the vhs of the concert tonight, keeping his eyes towards the back of the poorly lit bar, focusing on the old, grotesque, bastards coughing around their Marlboro reds. He sneaks a glance downwards, and there you are. Smiling widely, sipping seductively on a plastic straw. The carbonated bubbles of the Shirley temple swirling around your mouth, grenadine kissing the inside of your cheeks, dancing sexily with your tongue. He never thought he would be envious of a straw but, alas. Your dark eyes glimmering with the shitty stage lighting, you uncross and re-cross your legs several times during the set. He wonders if your wet panties were making you uncomfortable. Rubbed raw from the soaked material.. goddamnit. Eddie falters, his mouth drooling, moving faster than his brain can comprehend.

“It took everything in me tonight to not jump off stage and fuck you right at that table.” Eddie says, eyes dark, voice low, “and then you tease me, rubbing that sweet ass along my cock as you whisper absolute filth into my ear, right in front of the guys nonchalantly like you’re telling me answers to a history quiz,” he doesn’t wait for your reply, praying you won’t say anything cause the sound of your voice will drive him insane right now, “…’mmm yeah fuck sweetheart you’re in for it tonight everyone within a mile radius will know that you’re mine.” Eddie’s knuckles are white against the steering wheel, eyes forward as he stares ahead avoiding your gaze.

The sight of Eddie holding back feral behavior has your panties dripping, there is more than likely a little wet spot where you’re sitting on the cracking leather of the van seat. His words are making you nervous but so deliciously turned on it was like a drug. You watch as he slams the gas flying over the bumpy driveway that leads to the trailer park entrance. Your tits begin to bounce around like rubber balls thrown into a mesh bag at the end of Physical Education class. Eddie makes the mistake of looking over to smile at you proudly. Proud of himself and silently patting himself on the back for being halfway enough of a gentleman to get you home before his devious mind takes over. Eddie eyes your chest, the faint glimmer of relief in his coal eyes leaves as quickly as it arrived. “Fuck!” He shouts, throwing a ringed fist into his mouth biting on the closed fingers rather than his bloody chewed up lip.

He throws the van in park not even allowing the van to be fully stopped, gears grinding and the van giving a groan as he yanks the keys out of the ignition. He runs around to open your door, hand skimming the hood of the van to keep his balance, gravel beneath his boots sliding around at his quick and faulty steps. Throwing the door open, his eyes are demonic. He hauls you over his shoulder, his leather jacket smooth on your mid drift as your shirt rides up slightly, his hands burning the back of your thighs as he keeps a tight hold on you. He swats your ass quick and fast letting a small yelp escape from your lips. Eddie’s strides are long and quick as he’s bringing you inside, kicking the door of the van and the trailer shut as he goes.

Getting into his room, Eddie tosses you onto his bed being careful to make sure nothing was still on it from earlier today. He rips his shirt off of his head, the bandana he was wearing coming off with it, Eddie retrieves it from the floor and shoves it in his back pocket, revealing the sweaty mess of curls adorning his head. Your eyes go wide at his appearance. His breathing is labored, his lips are swollen and red from the drive home.

“Shirt. off. Now.” he says vigourously, rubbing his cock through his jeans. His breath hitches in his throat as your chest heaves out of its confinements. Your hair falls carelessly down your chest and back cradling your soft skin.

The dark, eagerness growing endlessly in Eddie’s eyes, he moans at the sight of you. “You are so beautiful,” he breathes out. Feet heavy, he saunters forward toward the bed. You’re sitting up slightly on your elbows, licking your lips watching Eddie’s slutty little waist move closer to you. “I wasn’t kidding when I said you’re in for it tonight sweetheart, now lay down.”

You do as you’re told and whimper out as his burning hands tickle the top of your pants as he unzips your jeans. Eddie slides the denim down your thighs, grazing his fingers lightly over your begging skin, aching for more of his touch. Without wasting another second, Eddie’s nose tickles the nape of your neck as he lowers himself to you. Kitten licking your neck, Eddie grabs both of your hands and lifts them above your head, holding them together with one of his large hands, he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his bandana, fastening it around your wrists, snugly. “Since you teased me all night, rubbing up against me, saying such slutty things with that pretty mouth, I’m going to do the same to you, only you won’t be able to touch me.” He whispers, “got it sweetheart?”

Before you can answer Eddie is on you, kissing your lips and thrashing his tongue wildly against them, your tongues connect as lightning strikes against your lips. He moves down your neck, sucking harshly and making his way down. When he descends on your peaked nipples you arch your back into him, sending his mouth full force onto your hardened bud. He squeezes your left breast violently as his tongue moves circles around your other, nipping and sucking, marking you up like a failed test. “Eddie,” you moan, trying to move your hands into his sweaty hair, needing to touch him.

“Ah, ah” he tuts, “good girls listen,” Eddie breathes against your skin as he pushes your hands away from him. You can hear the zippered cloth of his jeans creaking against his hardened length. He traces his tongue down your body marking you gently as he goes, groaning loudly against your soft goose bumped skin as he lowers himself further down your shivering body. You spread your legs wide for him watching as he sits up on his knees and eyes your weeping pussy.

“Touch me, Eddie please, please!” You beg. He ignores you as he gingerly grabs your panties in one hand twirly the lace hem by your hip around his fingers, running the lace through his fingers focusing on the feel of the fabric rather than what is caged behind it. He does the same with his other hand, moving it around in his fingers. He suddenly grasps them tightly close together and shreds your panties in two. The sound of ripping cloth makes your nipples harden as you whimper beneath him.

Eddie’s eyes are darker than midnight, he removes the tattered fabric of what is left of your panties and holds them to his face, sniffing loudly. He discards them on the mirrored dresser, amongst the years of Eddie’s small accomplishments and things he finds worthy, your panties being #1 on the list of things. He’s high off of your scent alone. Running a thick ringed finger through your slick folds he lets out a moan as your aching pussy swallows his finger whole. A loud moan leaves your mouth, echoing around the thin walls of the trailer. “Oh my god, Eddie please!”

“Fuck you’re so wet, how long have you been like this baby?” Eddie asks jutting his fingers into you, curling them slightly.

You’re panting at his motions, your eyes are clamped shut, aching for more of him, all of him.

“All night, s-since I saw you on st-stage.” You stutter out, your hips creeping down farther to meet Eddie. Eddie removes his fingers with a ‘pop’ as they leave your sopping wet cunt. He immediately licks his fingers and closes his eyes, rubbing his cock as he does.

“Fuck, you taste good,” he says lowering his mouth to your open slit, “sweeter than honey,” he says blowing cool air on your throbbing clit, “better than anything I’ve ever tasted,” he says leaning up slightly to lock his brown devilish eyes on yours peaking through the mountain of your tits, “and all mine.”

Eddie wastes no time hiking your legs over his shoulders as he deep dives, tongue first, into your pussy. The sudden urgency of his actions has you crying out his name. He’s wiggling his tongue around your clit, fingers plunged deep into your stinging hole. His rings burning your skin as he thrusts deeper and deeper into your plush walls. Your hands still tied above your head feel worthless as Eddie licks his way through the alphabet against your core. You are grasping onto the bed sheets, tearing the corners away from being tucked under the mattress, making a mess of the once made bed.

Your moans are angelic to Eddie, grinning like a killer clown in a scary movie against your over stimulated clit. He is loving every moment of this, pleasuring you, teasing you, the feeling of you being helpless as he assaults your pussy again and again with his tongue. He is drunk on your pussy and high on your moans.

The begging from your mouth starts again as you beg for release. “I’m gonna cum, Eddie… Eddie!” He stops immediately, leaning back on his knees he crawls up your body and unties the bandana from your wrists.

Eddie lays down next to you, rolls over towards the wall and whispers, “Goodnight”.

GOODNIGHT?! what the fuck? You’re seconds away from an earth shattering orgasm and this little shit stops!?

Eddie can feel your stare as it burns into the back of his head. He is trying hard not to shake the bed from his giggling. He told you you were in for it tonight and he wasn’t joking. He listens to you huff and puff as you sling your legs out of bed and make your way to the bathroom down the hall. Eddie slinks out of bed, throws his pants and boxers off and tiptoes down the hall, quieter than a church mouse and stark naked, he barges into the bathroom.

You already have the shower running and are fuming as Eddie's naked cock is twitching up and down, almost waving to you. “What the fuck Edd—” he grabs you in his arms and sets you down hard against the counter, his mouth on yours, kissing you deeply in a silent apology for teasing you so badly. He spits on your pussy and rubs his rock hard cock through your slick before he slams all of himself into your tight waiting hole.

You gasp out his name loudly as he bucks into you. One foot over his shoulder the other draped tightly around his waist, you have the perfect view of Eddie. His body tight with every thrust, the tattoos on his chest dancing along with his rhythm, the guitar pick necklace swaying forward and backward as Eddie slams his cock into your cunt.

Your hands run wildly down his arms, his tattoos becoming blurry as your vision is crossing, you’re drooling at the path of his protruding veins. “Jesus Christ! Always so tight for me, yeah? You like feeling me stretch your little pussy out baby?”

“Mmmmhmm” the only thing your mind can come up with as Eddie pumps mercilessly into you. Your orgasm is coming quick as you clamp down hard against his cock, “fuck oh fuck! EDDIE!” You scream. The tension in your lower stomach releases itself in waves against Eddie’s pounding cock.

“That’s it baby, cum for me.” Eddie cheers you on like a slut in a school uniform.You ride out your high as Eddie keeps his rhythm inside you, he grabs you up in his arms and slides the stained shower curtain open and steps into the green acrylic shower, dick still inside you. The hot water sputters out in odd directions around the build up of hard water against Eddie’s back as he moves his hips into you. Your hands are wrapped in his wet hair, lips sucking a bruise on his neck. “fuck baby..” Eddie purrs into your neck as his endless reign of terror on your pussy doesn’t stop.

You climb off of him and bend down in front of him, using your arms to steady yourself against the shower walls. He lifts your leg slightly entering you quickly, this position brings a new wave of electric shock between the two of you as you both moan loudly. Eddie slaps your ass again and again, harder and harder reveling in the sight of it bouncing around his thick cock as he pounds into you faster. You snake a hand down to your clit as Eddie curses loudly. You’re rubbing your clit harder than a pioneer wife scrubbing stains out of a shirt. “Eddie oh my god!” You scream. Convulsing against Eddie you cum again.

“I can’t fucking get over how tight you are, shit, I’m gonna cum, y/n! Oh fuck!” Ropes of Eddie’s cum hit your clit as your orgasm shoves him out of your pussy. You’re both moaning messes. Gripping each other tighter as Eddie lifts you up to him. He’s pressing tender kisses along your hairline murmuring how much he loves you.

You can’t believe how sweet Eddie is to you, before during and after sex. He is the sweetest man child on the planet, always caring for you, always making sure you’re okay. He is perfect in every aspect of life. Eddie washes your hair and his and soaps up your back as he hums to you. “You’re too good to me,” you say over your shoulder, catching a glance at Eddie. His hair is wet with soapy water as he leans back in the water to rinse.

“You’re my girl, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t do little things for you and tell you how much I love you every chance I get?” He says soaping himself up, grinning at you.

The sound of someone banging on the front door loudly pulls you out of your dream-like state of bliss.

Eddie’s eyes go wide as the water beats off of his skin, he places a finger to his lips as he steps out of the shower carefully. “Eddie? What’s going on?” You ask in a hushed whisper. He grabs a towel and throws it around his waist holding the towel with one hand and opening the door to the hallway with another. You turn the shower off and grab a towel hanging on the hook, following Eddie’s cautious footsteps amongst the squeaky floor of the trailer. Going into the bedroom he throws on a pair of boxers and grabs a crowbar from behind the bedroom door.

“Come on man, I know you’re in there!” The muffled voice says through the door as the pounding continues.

Eddie motions for you to sit on his bed. He kneels beside you brushing soft wet circles around your upper arms as he holds you steady, water dripping from your hair down your back , “wait here, I don’t know who this is, if I don’t come back, hide under the bed.”

This is insane, what the hell could possibly be going on? “Eddie!” The pounding on the door has you jump, shaking at the terror of who could be at the door.

Eddie kisses you quietly and stands up, the crowbar dangling next to his leg. Heading to the front door, Eddie turns back and says, “try to keep quiet and remember to hide if I don’t come back, I love you”.

You hear Eddie walk to the front door, his normally heavy and erratic steps now light and carefully planned across the linoleum flooring. You hear him unlocking the door as you sit quietly on Eddie’s bed. Just minutes before you were on this same bed experiencing the most passionate and erotic sex you have ever had. Now you sit here terrified wondering who is trying to beat down the door. Stunned with fear, you strain your ear.

“Eddie! Fuck man, is that a crowbar?!”

“Jesus Christ, Dustin! You had us scared half to death! Fucking call next time, what the hell is going on?!” Eddie shouts to the younger boy. You hear the door shut as the curly haired boy enters the trailer, “Hey babe, it’s okay it’s just Dustin, get dressed and meet us in the living room...maybe a pair of sweatpants for me and a shirt?”

Relief washes over you as you go to the messy dresser and rifle through the three drawers looking for clothes for Eddie and yourself. You settle on a pair of white long John pants for yourself and a faded, moth bitten Black Sabbath shirt. You grab a pair of black pajama pants for Eddie and a white tank top. While you’re getting dressed you wonder what has Dustin so upset that he is pounding on Eddie’s door this late on a Tuesday.

You emerge from Eddie’s room with clothes in hand and a towel wrapped around your head. “There she is, the lady of the hour.” Eddie says proudly as he waltzes towards you hand on his heart, “fuck you let good in my clothes baby, mmmhm—”

“Ahem!” Dustin clears his throat loudly, covering his eyes like a child watching a scary movie.

“Oh blow it out your ass Dustin, no need to be jealous!” Eddie chimes in with a laugh, dressing quickly and haphazardly, tangling his feet in the pajama pants and nearly falling over in the process. “How is Susie doing by the way? Adjusting to Hawkins okay?”

Dustin takes a deep breath, “I wouldn’t know I’ve been too busy dealing with some other shit to hang out with her, sorry— hi Y/N how are you doing, your face looks like it’s healing nicely.”

You raise your fingertips to your cut cheek and feel the now formed scab, “yeah thanks, I’m good Dustin, yourself?”

“Well I’m not over here to tutor Eddie in Algebr—”

“Hey! I’ll have you know I’m pretty good with math, the dealing helps.” Eddie says with a smirk on his face.

“Yeah, fine whatever anyway! I’m here because of Steve.” The muscles in your shoulders tense at the name, a cool shiver runs down your spine, Eddie pulls you down to sit beside him, keeping a cautious hand rubbing your back as Dustin continues, he takes off his hat and runs the bill across his neck “we thought his little bender was a one time thing but it’s gotten a bit…. out of hand.”

“How bad?” You ask, looking from Eddie to Dustin.

“Bad enough that Max is currently staying at Lucas’ because she’s afraid to go home. I guess Steve has been staying at Billy's. Their parents went on some sort of RV trip to California and will be gone the rest of the summer.”

You can’t feel anything other than guilt. Guilty for pushing Steve away and being so wrapped up in Eddie to even consider Steve’s pain. But the pain of that night when Steve beat you and Eddie bloody still hurt. You both had the wounds to prove it. It was a shit situation but you needed to move forward for everyone’s sake, not just Steve’s.

Eddie can feel your whole body tense at Dustin’s revelation. He wished he could take away all the pain of that night, wished this shit with Steve would end. Whatever help Steve needed, Eddie would do it for you. He knew deep down that you were bearing the brunt of Steve’s actions from that night, when it wasn’t your fault in the slightest. Eddie blamed himself for how fast things had moved in the short days of your relationship, he couldn’t help it, maybe under a different circumstance he would have taken it slow, gotten to know you, maybe even taken you on a few dates before your first kiss. But now he’s fucked it all up, letting his late bloomer teenage hormones get in the way. Get in the way of the only thing that matters to him. He looks to you to see your vacant expression, wishing like hell he could read your mind.

Eddie shakes his head and runs his hands down his face, “Gareth said that Billy and Steve almost ran them off the road, the other day.”

“Yeah it’s not great, Robin has been crying for days because she doesn’t know what to do to get him to stop… we’re all really worried about him,” Dustin says, lowering his head into his hands, “he needs an intervention but he won’t fucking talk to any of us.”

You know what Dustin is asking for. You know why he came here practically in the middle of the night. He’s desperate, desperate for his friend back. Desperate for things to go back to how they were. You watch as tears fall down his cheeks. You look at Eddie and as if he can sense what you’re going to say he nods. “I’ll talk to him Dustin, but not without Eddie around.”

Eddie looks from you to Dustin twisting his rings in a nervous fidget, “when do you want to do this?”

“Tonight? I can call Robin and have her meet us at Billy’s.”

As Dustin calls Robin from the yellowed phone on the kitchen wall, you and Eddie get dressed into something other than pajamas. Eddie is struggling to get his legs untangled from his pajama pants, finally freeing them and getting a pair of jeans when he catches your eye. Eyes staring blankly into the floor, burning a hole in the carpet with your gaze. “You okay sweetheart?”

It shouldn’t be like this. “Eddie, I'm so sorry. I hate that we have to go through this, you have work in the morning! We can just go to bed and I will talk to Steve tomorrow while you’re at work! I’m sorry you’re tangled up in this mess, I should have broken up with him in person, I should have done it sooner than I did. I should have—”

“Princess, enough.” Eddie says firmly, crossing the worn carpet over to where you are sitting on his bed, grabbing your shoulders as you look up at him, “never in a million goddamn years would I make you face this shit alone. Yeah, Steve is your ex and that fucking blows but he’s also your childhood friend, and he’s Dustin’s friend, I love you to death and I care about Dustin. That’s why I’m going. Now, let’s get dressed and help your friend.” Eddie rubs your shoulder as he sits next to you and pulls the denim pants up his legs.

You didn’t deserve Eddie’s kindness, how he was single up until he met you was insanity. You dress quickly, throwing on your jeans and keeping Eddie’s shirt on. The smell of him wrapping you up like a warm hug on Christmas morning. You run a brush through the snarls in your hair and watch as Eddie headbangs his hair into submission. he shrugs and gives you a wink, “what? I always do this.”

“Alright, Robin is picking up Mike and meeting us there, you guys ready to go or am I going to have to bang on the door again for another 20 minutes.”

Your face glows a pretty shade of koolaid red, twenty minutes?? “Dustin. Are you saying you were outside my trailer for twenty goddamn minutes?” Eddie says, eyes flickering with annoyance.

“Yeah twenty grueling minutes, ‘Eddie oh my god!’ ‘Oh fuck!’ Yeah you guys are loud as hell, the whole fucking trailer park was looking over here.” A proud grin is plastered on Eddie’s face as he turns to see your horrified expression.

“Babe I told y—”

“STOP!” you yell with eyes closed and hands flying over your face. You wish you could crawl into a hole and die, damn Eddie for his expert fingers and deliciously thick dick. Curse him for having a demon’s tongue! Eddie is laughing hysterically as he wraps his arms around you pulling you into a hug.

“I told you the whole trailer park would know you’re mine.” He says with a loud laugh as Dustin makes fake vomit noises and you contemplate running home.

It was half past midnight when you, Dustin, and Eddie screeched loudly to a stop outside of Billy Hargrove’s house. Your hands were burning red from wringing your fingers together harshly for the entirety of the ride here, Dustin and Eddie were talking about their plan of action. ‘The Plan’ had changed multiple times. The first idea was to go inside and talk to both Billy and Steve, try to kill two birds with one stone kind of a situation. But that quickly became squashed after realizing there was no way Billy’s psycho ass would sit still long enough to have a conversation with someone let alone about getting off drugs. The second idea was worse than the first, involving Steve’s parents. “They’re delusional, they don’t think anything is wrong.” You told an all too eager Dustin.

“But what if we—”

“No I’m sorry Dustin, they won’t do it.”

The third and final plan would be underway as soon as Robin and Mike showed up. It was definitely crazy, but everyone agreed it was worth the risk.

A blue sedan pulled up showcasing Robin, Mike and someone else in the back seat.

“Okay, there they are!” Dustin says tightening his shoes, “Operation Intervention: Steve Harrington is starting,”

Eddie rolls his eyes as he steps out of the van, walking around to get to your door and as Dustin jumps out, “you okay?” Eddie asks as you swing your legs out of the van to jump out. He places a hand on your thigh and runs the other through your hair, tucking it gently behind your ear.

“Yeah I’m just nervous,” you shrug your shoulders, “what if he doesn’t want to get help?” The thought of losing Steve forever crosses your mind. Flashes of him homeless on the streets addicted to way worse than what he currently is, haunting you.

“He will, once he sees who is here for him, he will.” Eddie reassures you, kissing you lightly on the head and grabbing your waist to help you down and out of the van.

“What the hell is she doing here?!” Dustin points to the backseat, yelling at Mike.

“She was going to threaten to tell my mom if we didn’t bring her, she said she could help.” Mike says, annoyed crossing his toothpick arms.

“I can help! You don’t know the shit I’ve seen the last few days!” Nancy Wheeler slams the door of the backseat and stands with her hands on her hips and her pointy chin held high. “Listen, I care about Steve and he wants help, he just… doesn’t know how to do it.”

Nancy cares about Steve? Last you had seen she was making out with Billy. What the hell was she trying to prove here? You shouldn’t be so quick to judge her but you also didn’t know much about her other than she was dating Will’s brother.

“Nance is right, she’s the only one that’s hung out with him since the entire thing started.” Robin chimes in. “We need her, and y/n, it’s the only way.”

Eddie snakes a protective arm around your waist and holds you tightly to him, his other arm almost shielding you from everyone. “Alright so everyone knows their positions?”

Everyone splits up to where they need to be, you and Nancy at the front door, Dustin in the back of the van, Robin and Eddie behind you and Nancy and Mike trailing behind holding a large bag.

The house is loud for a Tuesday night, “Don’t stop Believing” is blaring across a stereo, beer cans are thrown across the lawn and it looks as if a window was busted out from the inside out of the house. Like a chaotic twister of drugs and fighting terrorized the walls of the home. Eddie grabs your hand and gives it a little squeeze as you lock eyes with him. You can tell by the look he’s giving you that he is terrified but trying like hell not to show it.

You carefully turn the door knob and let your eyes and nose adjust to the dank smelling house. Beer cans are thrown everywhere across the carpet like a recycling bin was emptied out into the living room. A stark naked girl you had never seen before was laid across the couch on top of Billy both passed out. His hand laid holding a rolled dollar bill, white powder dusted across her ass cheek, a small dry trickle of blood hung just below both of their noses, a sight only seen on the big screen in Hollywood but they both seemed to be breathing. You look at Nancy and she shakes her head in disgust. “Follow me” she mouths to you. You nod your head signaling Eddie and Robin to stand guard by the door, eyes on Billy and Ms. July. You follow behind Nancy, tip-toeing through the garbage along the floor, cartons of cigarettes, ashes, small clear baggies and the endless amounts of beer cans the sight was truly nauseating.

Nancy pulls you through the living room to a short hallway, two doors on either side, the room on the left must have been Billy’s, considering the amount of used condoms thrown across the unmade bed. Nancy snuck along the hall to the other door peeking in slightly. You followed behind and poked your head in, this was Max’s room, a long board hung on the wall along with a Kate Bush poster, a jar of quarters sat heavily on a tall dresser. Small lines of white powder covered a hand mirror next to the lamp on the nightstand and laying halfway on the bed facing the door, head dangling off the mattress, laid Steve.

“Oh my God.”

He looked thinner somehow. His cheekbones looked gaunt, the purpling around his eyes a discernible giveaway from lack of sleep, the same powdery substance found on the mirror and all over this shithole of a home was apparent on his nose. His hair was greasy and looked abhorrent. The entire room smelled like he hadn’t showered in days, his clothes were absolutely filthy, looking as if he robbed a dumpster.

Tears bite your eyes at the sight of him. He has never looked like this. Not when he had the flu last year that lasted a week, not the year before when he had mono, not when you both had chickenpox as kids, never, not once. This was bad.

You decide right there and now that you need to get him the hell out of there. “Help me,” you whisper to a stunned faced Nancy, “I don’t think he will be able to walk out of here, we’re going to have to carry him. I’m gonna go get Robin and Eddie, hang tight.”

Tiptoeing back through the beer can clad floor, you make your way back to the living room catching Eddie’s eyes. His expression is perplexed as he looks at you, you try to keep your face content but your eyes are giving you away. Eddie notices immediately and rushes to you, holding your face as you try not to break. He’s consoling you, holding you tenderly as silent tears fall from your eyes. Seeing Steve look so sickly, the chaos around him, the guilt of why he is in this situation in the first place has your stomach in knots. Holding back the pressure of vomit rising in your throat, Eddie ushers you out to the van, calling for Dustin to help him.

You make it past the uneven sidewalk and puke again and again until you’re dry heaving in Eddie’s arms. He’s rubbing small circles into your back and shushing you as the sobs overcome you. Picking you up Eddie opens the passenger door of the van and sets you down tenderly. “Eddie, he— he” you choke out. “I can’t b-believe how bad he looks.”

Looking into his eyes you see them well with tears. He holds your face in his hands as he smooths over your cheek with his thumbs, chasing the tears as they come down harder. “I’m gonna go get him, everything will be okay, stay here. I’ll be right back baby”. He kissed you on the lips and rushed inside after Dustin.

You hug your knees up to your chest as your crying continues. Your eyes ache at the pain of past trauma and heavy crying. Your lungs feel like they’re going to explode with the lack of oxygen they are getting. You dig your nails into your arms trying to find some sort of relief to numb the pain of what has unfolded because of you. No matter how many times Eddie said it wasn’t, it was your fault. Steve had been a perfectly normal teenage boy 4 days ago, and now he was strung out on God knows what and looking like absolute shit because of you. You couldn’t get past it, couldn’t move forward.

You hear shouting, bringing you back from your inner demons, sitting up and looking out the window of the van you realize it’s neither Steve or Eddie’s voice. You open the van door and as soon as your feet hit the pavement, you’re running full speed to the front door. It’s open wide and you peek inside. Getting a full view of the living room.

Steve is barely standing using both Nancy and Dustin as human crutches, arms draped on either side of their shoulders. His head is hanging low and drool is flopping out from his bottom lip. Robin and Eddie are standing against a wall, eyes struck with fear as they stare ahead. Staring at a crazed Billy, wearing only jeans, wielding a gun. The girl previously on his lap now sitting on the couch nearly unconscious, eyes open barely a slit as her body breathes heavily.

“It doesn’t have to be this way man, we just want to take Steve and we will be leaving, I swear!” Mike says, arms held out to show he means no harm. No fucking way this prick was going to do this, not to your friends, not to you, not to Eddie or Steve.

“You don’t get it Wheeler! You broke into my house and me? I’m just defending myself.” Billy laughs maniacally

“Just let us go, I will give you whatever you want man, I got a whole duffel bag full of weed, no charge just take it!” Eddie said calmly, trying to diffuse the situation.

“Oh, Fuck off Munson,” Billy sneers, “You’re not worth the cost of the bullet but, fuck it.”

Your ears are ringing with temporary deafness as the gun is fired.

——————-

Taglist: @boomhauer @b-irock @big-ope-vibes @munsonficdump @idkidknemore @manda-panda-monium @sidthedollface2 @syrenna @inourtownofhawkins @usedtobecooler @lunatictardis @gathered-moss @steddiesandwich @eddiemunsonsmum

Divider by: @firefly-graphics 🔥

[doriansredroses]

I still miss Quotev. It was the only writing site I actually enjoyed. I had a phase on Wattpad when I was 12-14 but that was before I found out about Quotev. I loved it there. I didn’t know it existed until 2019. I may have taken quizzes prior to that year but 2019 was when an old friend in high school signed me up for it. I never used the account and deleted it.

But then I decided to go back to it. That’s where I met two of my best online friends. The first one, I met them through a Harry Potter quiz. We both wrote fanfics that were tied together in the same universe as our first crossover. Then I met @xxiamtiebrousxx. We're so close. We’re both in the animated Barbie movies fandom, so she’s the Erika to my Anneliese, the Liana to my Alexa. She and I started writing constant collaborations and are trying to figure out how to continue now that Quotev is dead.

This is what I miss most about the site, the community and the way we both wrote together. I miss posting some random thing on feed and tagging her or one of my other mutuals. I miss the groups where she and I posted things privately for each other. I loved how accessible the site was, how clean it looked compared to Wattpad, and that it was so private.

Despite all of the fond memories I’ve made, I am honestly relieved in some ways that I’ve left the site. I went through hell on Quotev. A lot of people bullied me, and it wasn’t just simple cyber bullying, it was blatant betrayal. I had one friend a few years ago, who I really liked until I found out they were talking about me behind my back. When I confronted them, it turned into an argument and blew up in my face. They apologized and we tried again. But then they started hating on me for liking a specific Disney character, saying that I shouldn’t be liking him. It hurt. I lashed out because I was struggling a lot with depression and suicidal urges, but once again, things blew up in my face. I was the one getting yelled at and canceled. I lost another friend because of it. Turns out, he was just a jerk and we were better off without each other. Another user started ghosting me because of political reasons and started another war against me because I simply asked why she hurt me. This isn’t even the worst part.

On here, I met this guy who I cherished. He was really sweet to me then and I helped him discover who he was. He was struggling with being trans and wanted help finding a name and stuff. I gave him one based off of a character from a favorite novel of mine, and one he ended up reading because of me. He even said I was his muse, just like the character he was named after said to the character I most identified with. Things got rough afterwards. He was awful with communicating with me when things went wrong. His solution, ghosting me. He then ended up saying he was leaving me, and I flipped out because it was the start of my suicidal depression. We split.

But he found me again on Quotev. He stalked me there. Right after he returned into my life, there was a story posted on an anon story account. The account was created for authors who didn’t want to post stories linked to them, but still wanted to write. The intention was great but the outcome was devastating. One day I decided to check the account to see what had been posted. I saw an interesting title. I started reading it. The story had used my real name, my high school friends, and was profiting off of my current mental health issues that stemmed from abuse and friendship drama. I had every reason to get upset. My personal information had been breached to the public and it was clearly malicious. It’s very likely it was him because every single sign pointed to him, yet he denied it when I confronted him. The story made me physically ill. Someone wanted to hurt me. Things only got worse.

That same guy kept pestering me, and being the kind soul I am, I allowed him to talk to me, but from a distance because I was scared. He did the same thing again with the ghosting and I finally snapped. I was livid. What did he do in response? He started posting rumors about me that weren’t true and ended up turning almost all of my Quotev friends against me. One of them who was always there for me when I felt like I wanted to end my life posted on her feed “I hope Willow burns in hell and never sees the gates of heaven”. I broke down sobbing afterwards. It was a slew of getting blocked by old mutuals for something I didn’t do. My time from 2023 to shortly before the shutdown was full of abuse. I had to change accounts a hundred times in hopes of escaping the pure hell I was going through. The drama ruined a collaboration with my friend. People stopped reading it.

And about that one guy, one of the rumors was that I suicide baited him. I was actually suicidal and he thought my depression was a manipulation tactic to keep him from leaving. It was the Quotev/Tumblr equivalent of baby trapping in his eyes. I had offline drama too with my family and also an ex best friend who pulled some crap when he ditched me too. Quotev was supposed to be my safe space, but it turned into my worst nightmare.

I still sort of miss it. Once I got things under control, I just chatted with a few friends and stuff. I don’t love Wattpad but honestly, I realized how toxic Quotev truly was. I was chronically online, I kept getting hurt by people I thought could be trusted, and without it, I can focus on healing. I’m still going to write, and I may leave up my Quotev account for drafting purposes, but that era is behind me.

I joke that the site shutting down was a fate deserved, but at the same time, I hate that it happened because so many people are grieving. I don’t know if I could’ve left the site without this and recognize that it contributed to a lot trauma that may take a while to recover from. Some of these backstabbing Quotev users are here too, but since we are now not in the same circle, I feel free.

After running away from the villains in my life, I finally settled on Willow as my online name. You know that it means? It means freedom (and willow tree). Willow means freedom. The universe might’ve been telling me that I would soon be released from some of what had been tormenting me for an entire year. I will always have some nostalgia for Quotev and I miss how easy it was to navigate, but I had some very unfortunate experiences there that I hope not to experience here. It feels good to get this off my chest and to finally feel ready to move on. I spent so much time bending to other people’s whims that I’d forgotten what made me happiest. It’s time for me to say goodbye to the dead site and live my life.

[magnetic-regent-magneto]

What ghost haunts you?

THE GHOST OF VENGEANCE

you ache for revenge and little else. red paints your vision, and it has grown so thick that it has grown so hard to see. somewhere within your ribs is a child longing for comfort again.

you will never let them see the light of day. for now, there is blood on your hands and your teeth.

before you were a human, you were an omen with a heart constructed of thorns.

when audre lorde wrote, “i feel it’s my anger that helped keep me alive.” when ashe vernon wrote, “isn’t this rage so ugly? and isn’t it mine, still? good god, isn’t it mine?” you will never find peace within your own anger, but you bathe in it anyway. the way you always have.

stolen from: @mastcrmarksman

tagging: @hexsreality , @feralweapon , @onlyarogue , @down-home-charm, @sleighted and anyone that wants to suffer this quiz

[marknee]

mists of celeste

a series by @hongism: by marknee

(contains spoilers! please be wary when reading)

let me start you here, with the understanding that this isn’t - in any way shape or form - an essay, nor is it an attempt at such. i rather just want to blurt everything into writing regarding my thoughts of this incredibly crafted series, so my head may feel that bit lighter. because holy shit. i have a lot to say. and i cannot ask anything of you, but to believe me when i say i’m not one to sugarcoat my words, leaving you with only the purest of faith that everything i write here, i undoubtedly mean. with that trust in mind, i present to you a very unorganised mind dump (?) of mine from over the span of a fortnight of reading.

i had to pick this series up twice during its entirety as i had an unfortunate epiphany halfway through, and i only just registered the hefty loss i knew i was going to grieve over the moment my eyes gazed upon the last word, causing me to postpone reading as much as i could — which, if you should know, didn’t last for a full twenty-four hours either time. i managed five, perhaps six, at most.

if i had a physical copy of this series, a highlighter, and a shit ton of index tabs, i fear what would become of me. the author has this series so incredibly well written that every single sentence deserved highlighting and placing into a buzzfeed quiz titled, “choose a quote and we’ll guess the state of your mental health,” ‘cause fuck me, i had a lot of self reflection to do after some of the chapters. at least one thing is clear, both the characters and i need intense therapy. and maybe a warm bubble bath with a cute rubber duck.

however, i will spare you the sob story and list some of the quotes from this series i either, 1) cried about, or 2) added to my list of topics to bring up with my therapist when i see her next.

“constantly looking at the negatives will get you nowhere in life. just thinking: what’s going to go wrong? that’s a recipe for disaster, as is only thinking about the past. what went wrong in the past doesn’t necessarily mean that it will go wrong in the future.” — seonghwa to y/n, chapter 17.

“you love her. what is love compared to duty?” — jisung to seonghwa, chapter 33.

“you would do well not to romanticise love in such a way otherwise you will be sorely disillusioned. love contains the freedom to choose what you want without the other person making any decision for you.” — seonghwa to jisung, chapter 33.

“what makes me more deserving than the man who died for me?” — y/n to seonghwa, chapter 33.

“oh, darling, if you could see yourself through my eyes, you would know that you are the most deserving person in the universe.” — seonghwa to y/n, chapter 33.

i want to give you beautiful and happy memories, my darling. i want to see you smile everyday for the rest of my life, even if it’s just for a moment. i want so much for you, and selfishly, i want to be the one to give it all to you.” — san to y/n, chapter 41.

“in answering the haunting question of “what do you want from me”, perhaps, simultaneously, you want everything and nothing at all.” — chapter 41.

“whoever came up with the saying ‘the truth will set you free’ clearly should have left paragraphs worth of fine print detailing how atrocious and painful it would be before that freedom.” — chapter 45.

“should this be a monster of his hatred’s creation, you will put your hands to the clay and mold its grotesque features further into obscurity.” — about yeosang, chapter 45.

“do you wish for me to bear it on my shoulders so you can sleep comfortably at the devils side?” — hongjoong, chapter 47.

“if love is meant to be part of life, then why is it draining seonghwa of his?” — chapter 48.

perhaps i cried! honestly, the two most impactful quotes on this list for me were, “what is love compared to duty?” and “what makes me more deserving than the man who died for me?” i think they both represent this story in the most heart-rending, glorious and tragic way possible as everyone is trying to confront the demons of their past, but of course, there is no reward without sacrifice.

in a way, every crew member on the horizon sacrificed something — perhaps, in their own personal way but still, all their wounds are equal in validity, so they’re basically on the same playing field of what it means of sacrifice. y/n lost her memories. most of them lost their freedom. half of them were subdued to others control and dehumanised and belittled. and every backstory broke my heart the more the pieces were revealed throughout.

i’m praying as the story unfolds further, every member finds their own redemption and closure, and allows themselves the peace they’ve deserved from the very beginning — in whatever form that may take. i just want them to be happy. so, author, please leave my boys alone. they’re tired. i’m tired. my poor y/n has been through more shit than i can comprehend. we’re relying on you, love.

also, i want to lay out all my cards on the table right now and admit there are the two members i genuinely want to physically fight (fists ‘n all): yeosang and hongjoong. the pair of them i want to throw off the airlock myself, never mind them threatening to do it to me. watch me do it. firstly, starting with the former: what the fuck is my guy’s problem? i cannot count the amount of times i got punched in the gut, slammed against a wall, choked (not in that way, people), almost DIED because of this motherfucker, and for what? it’s not my fucking fault wooyoung and i are halves of one soul. like i asked for this shit? dude needs to get his shit together ASAP, and i’m not saying that for his behalf (even though i’m sure therapy would be very good for him), i’m saying it for my behalf. because best believe he tries me again, i will swing, and i will absolutely clock his crown jewels, no pun intended. i’ve been sparring with jongho recently, and he tells me i’ve gotten better. so don’t even try me, mate.

his ONLY redeeming feature and the last remaining bit of patience i have for him relies in how good he was in bed in chapter 45. that’s it. i don’t fucking blame wooyoung. for anything. because i understand it all.

secondly, the absolute audacity personified himself: kim hongjoong. him and i are on a poorly constructed rollercoaster at the moment where the worker is dozing off behind the control system. one minute, the man has me seething, and the next, i’m wildly attracted to him. and then he says something shitty and the rollercoaster starts again. they’re not allowing me off at all, so i suppose i’ll be here forever. unless… they solve their problems within the sheets. and hear me out, okay? it (kinda) worked for yeosang, so sex with the captain? how scandalous. and it would help let off some of that pent up frustration between the two of us — my frustration with him, mostly. he genuinely gets on my tits. but i love him.

(don’t think i forgot that bath scene, miss author.)

on note of that, i actually made a list in my notes app at the beginning of reading this series where i ranked how good the sex would be with each crew mate (that’s if she were to do it with all of them). however, i did remove the members we’ve already done it with, so here’s my hypothesis (of the members we still have yet to):

rank 5: mingi. cons include, haven’t actually had a proper conversation with him ever, he scares me still a bit, i wonder if he even knows my name. pros include, has the power for it, no doubt he’s probably amazing, but please take me to dinner first.

rank 4: jongho. cons include, dude is like my little brother, would be very very awkward during and afterwards, endless teasing from the others and i’m too sensitive for that right now. pros include, he’s a berserker so no doubt he has the capabilities in him, he’s not a touchy person, sigh.

rank 3: yunho. cons include, is still figuring out his feeling towards seonghwa and hongjoong, would hate to become between that, he’s my doctor so also very awkward. pros include, my man is hot as fuck, would be an absolute boss about aftercare and take it seriously (as he should), very romantic and sweet.

rank 2: wooyoung. cons include, yeosang would fuck me up, like seriously. i’d probably die. he’s half of my soul, so… no comment there. pros include, an absolute tease, the fucker, so caring, though he would definitely want yeosang there (is that a pro or con i can’t decide?).

rank 1: hongjoong. cons include, literally none. pros include, that man hates my fucking guts so no doubt i won’t be able to walk for the next month (not complaining), immediate bragging rights that i’ve fucked the scourge of the black sea yeah get fucked everyone hahaha, would genuinely ruin me, i get to sleep in the captains bed like how exciting is that? i haven’t even been in his quarters never mind his bed! will be a very interesting and intense chapter.

now, moving on to later in the series with that choice with the serum for mingi. i simply cannot fathom the amount of voice messages i recorded over this. it was gobsmacking to me that everyone was against her for wanting mingi to have a choice, instead of lacking him of such a ghastly thing apparently. she didn’t want to deprive him of making his own decisions and deciding his own fate, and the fact the entire crew got mad at her for it, knowing they didn’t even ask for his consent in the first place?! nah, i have beef with all of them at this point. literally fight me, i don’t care that you’re pirates. i’m a raging woman, i’m worse. and don’t even get me started on the jisung and hyunwoo ordeal. actually, let me start a new paragraph for this one because it’s gonna be a long one.

the whole situation is genuinely indescribable of how upsetting it was (not to me, but to y/n. well, i guess to me also, then). hyunwoo is very much worse than jisung, but jisung still fucked up from his shitty choice of decisions. y/n’s backstory is very unsettling and she’d never really had a solid ground and people to rely on, until she had her team in the military. perhaps they weren’t exactly a family, but they cared for each other. and that was enough. but, what hurts the most is she genuinely believed they were good people (i quote: “hyunwoo was like a brother to me”), trusted them wholeheartedly, openly defended them, and even spent years of her life to pardon the guy she thought died for her (ouch). in return, they manipulated her, backstabbed her to the gods, and planned on injecting her a third time to keep the good image she had of them for their own benefit— fuck me, i’m seething just writing this. however, i too, am mourning their deaths for the sake of y/n. they were the closest thing to family to her, and knowing hyunwoo had a family of his own… but, i guess the lesson we learnt here is once you make your bed, you have to lie in it.

i realise this story isn’t over yet, but so far, it was been such a incredible ride. the world-building is out of this world— can we take a moment of appreciation for the google docs of each planet? what. i’m so excited for what’s to come, but i just wanted to share everything. i have cried too many times over this series that it felt like a reblog wasn’t enough appreciation for me. i wanted to do more. my love language is words of affirmation for a reason!

main points of this rant (of sorts):

if hongjoong and yeosang piss me off any further it’s on sight. there’s nothing scarier than a woman whose been messed with for too long, i’ll tell you that.

i fucking loathe hyunwoo, and i hate jisung slightly less, but i mourn for them also. and for the sake of my own pride, i will not enclose how hard i sobbed over that scene. i will not. ever.

hongjoong and y/n need to fuck already. there i said it. the tension is too much i’m sure mingi could sense it from another fucking planet.

san and wooyoung and jongho deserve the world. i love those sweethearts. they could never do me wrong. i will love them ‘til the end of time.

the yeosang sex chapter was everything and more. etched in my mind eternally. incredible.

i’m so mad i can’t add this to my shakespeare series as it’s not a bts fanfic, but i am seriously thinking about making a series for ateez just to add this in there. should it be charles dickens or jane austen? ahh, don’t tempt me, please.

that’s it! a literal dump of my entire thought process going through this 48 chapter-ed (for now) series! i wanna take a moment to thank @hongism for spending her time writing and creating a piece of art for us. i, and many others, owe it to you :) we appreciate you so much.

if you do want to read this (if you haven’t already spoiled it for yourselves), the link is under ‘a series’ right at the top of this post. or you can go on @hongism’s account and check it out there!

thank you for reading,

nini x