what she says: i'm fine
what she means: the division clearly knew that the song now and then was important to rachel, and presumably they knew why and therefore just how much it meant to her, so instead of ignoring it they co-opted it into their mind control so that if it popped up in elly's life then she might know it meant something to her but she was supposed to just think 'oh, it's my song from my music box', however even vogler's best efforts - both as the head of psy ops and in her capacity as mother figure - couldn't completely erase the full depth of feeling that rachel has for aidan so no matter how much ruth encouraged elly to try dating, deep down she *knew* she wasn't single, and her song reminded her heart of that every time she heard it, even though her head had completely forgotten who aidan was
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still thinking about this movie
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elly conway headcanons
there are still parts of her former life that haven't come back to her yet, and her current life is a series of fun surprises for her as random memories pop back at random times
no longer afraid of flying, she finally agrees to the long-overdue overseas book tour that her agent has been begging for, and keeps discovering new languages she already speaks fluently
having been basically celibate for the last few years, elly finds herself bluescreening five or six times a day whenever details of rachel's vigorous and varied sex life pop into her head (aidan is waiting very patiently for the pegging conversation to naturally arise)
one day elly brings home a large stray dog who she's seen hanging around the lake for the last couple of weeks. it's hard to tell if she or aidan is more surprised that he's the one to have to point out that maybe this isn't fair to alfie
(alfie is fine with it, once he has made it clear to the dog who is boss)
every time she finishes a manuscript, she still sends a copy to ruth's email address; although she knows it was never real, it was still pretty nice in a way to have that experience of having normal supportive loving parents
occasionally she wakes up in a cold sweat having remembered yet another assassination she successfully carried out. as a form of atonement, she has taken to making large charitable donations (her fans have started to notice, and are organising among themselves to also support the causes that elly supports)
now that elly is no longer in a punishing yearly cycle of spending (i'm presuming) 8 months researching a book, 1 month tippy-tapping said book into being, and 3 solid months making a handful of train journeys, she has decided it might be nice to try her hand at mentoring aspiring writers. zoe the superfan is very grateful, but also finds the monthly coffee dates are *really* eating into her writing time
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