#rainwrites

[rainachaeri]

Swapfell Papyrus x Reader

After a not-so-pretty breakup, you haven't seen Papyrus in five years. What were you supposed to do when one day he comes strolling into your shop like he did not just do what he did all those years ago?

----

It was a slow day when the walking cancer stick came in, and if you had to choose, you'd really rather stick two needles to your eyeballs than welcome him to his shop.

Unfortunately, you needed those eyeballs, and you needed it bad. How else would you live anyway? If the only thing keeping you alive is your business, which heavily required vision, and you happened to have damaged said balls able to provide said vision, you may as well take the leap and wave the world goodbye.

So, yes, you had no choice but to let him in, to tell him, “Good day, sir, how can I serve you today?” and to watch as that knowing smirk graced his teeth once again. It never grew old, that smirk.

And nor did he.

Anyway, he just gazed down at you, sockets unblinking, and you knew, you knew he was eyeing you up and down. Of course he was.

“any chance you're on the menu?” he asked, pulling out a cigarette. All these years and he still couldn't quit them, huh?

“Sir, this is a tailoring shop. If you want food, feel free to leave this store and walk across the street. I'm sure Miss Muffet would be glad to serve you again,” you droned out, trying and failing to keep your face neutral, but when he pulled out a lighter, your eye twitched.

“You can't smoke here either, sir. If you wish to relieve yourself, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.”

He chuckled, putting both the cigarette and lighter away. “as icy as always. I missed you, y'know?”

“Hm, right, and I missed three minutes ago when I didn't know you were still alive.”

“ouch. anything i can do to make up for it?”

“Either you buy something, put an order in, or leave.”

He hummed. “that's three options, darlin’. shouldn't have used either there.”

Your eye twitched again. “And I don't care. My name is yn, use it.”

“i need a new jacket,” he said. He lifted his right arm and pinched the sleeves of his jacket. There was a tiny tear. “see this? your hardwork's got a little damage already. i'd like a new one. same color and design, just sturdier, maybe.”

You scoffed, bending down to fetch your notepad and pen; you scribbled down his measurements. “only you would insult my creations then ask for more. talk about being ungrateful.”

There was a pause, a large one. You looked up from your notepad to see him staring at you, sockets wide.

“i… you know i didn't mean it like that, yn. i was just—”

You scoffed again. “Whatever. Come back next week. Your hoodie will be ready by then.”

His sockets widened further. “but–but you haven't even taken my measurements yet. you—”

“It's all taken care of,” you interrupted as you put the notepad away and turned to the computer and added his order to your log. “Thank you for choosing (shop name), have a good day. Please leave this establishment before I call in security.”

From the corner of your eye, Papyrus stood there, unmoving for a full minute, waiting, but you stood your ground. Eyes on the screen and hands on the keyboard, you pretended he wasn't there.

Eventually, he spoke again.

“right. thanks, yn.”

And then he was gone.

In a flash, you ran to the back and into the closet, where you slid down to the floor with your hands on your face.

Hopefully your sobs were quiet enough that no one would hear.

---

This is not beta read, basically just a draft, so I thought I'd just post it here. I might continue it though if it's of any interest to anyone :)

[simonbrain]

simon riley who becomes even more smitten with his wife whenever she's angry at him. he doesn't know why, but seeing her scold him for something as simple as forgetting to put the toilet seat down or forgetting to grab a tub of ice cream just makes him grin. it makes him want to gently remind her who's in charge (at least in the bedroom; he knows how much power she has over him. he's weak to her).

all he has to do is cup her face and coo, "i'm sorry lovie, i'll do better." and suddenly she's not very mad anymore. if that doesn't work, he just pushes her against the nearest surface and eats her out until she's a babbling mess (he tried doing that in public one time; she waited until they got in the car to complain about that too).

her attitude rarely gets to him though. if anything, it just turns him on. although if she gets too mouthy, he'll just let her yap without saying anything, just staring down at her. that's when she knows she's in actual trouble.

after she mellows out and simon finishes having his fill of her, she'll get very shy and grumble at him for that dirty trick she falls for every time. "did i not do enough of a good job love? need another round?" she shuts up after that, turning her heated face away from simon's smug grin, the bastard.

[raiinisblue]

Seasons

For the first time, seasons feel like they deserve their name.

Summer smells vibrant, clean yet pungent. there is a heaviness in the air, sweat drying tacky on skin and nights spent tossing and turning until the fabrics fly off the mattress, only to be picked up the morning after. the bed rarely gets made these days and the folds, twists and wrinkles of the dark cotton sheets leave little to the imagination as to what must've happened there mere hours earlier. marks on skin hard conceal with no choice but to go bare on days the sun is most unforgiving.

Fall brings with it the relaxing patter of rain hitting roofs, cats scurrying under cars when night falls while the white plastic valve of the radiator gets turned to on for the first time in what feels like half a life time. steam collects as condensation, rolling down the cool glass windows as the soup bubbles away on the stove top. rust coloured leaves become the slippery enemy of all beings hurrying down the side walks, were it not for a supporting hand hovering and steady footfalls setting a reassuring pace.

Winter makes a home in the bones, slowing the pace of day and lingering in the corners of the room. fuzzy socks adorn icicile feet, warm mugs filled with steaming liquid always in reach. the humming of the heater is constant, reminiscent of the buzzing of bees. longing for warmer times becomes a given and comforting words wrap around like a scarf woven from silk. touches easily given, returned ten fold. solace found in the familiar.

Spring makes it look so easy. speaking without ever saying anything. a resurrection of feelings laid temporarily dormant, blooming into energy running free under skin. laughter comes quicker, stays longer. where love slept peacefully, now a fresh and nearly overwhelming wave of infatuation takes hold of every waking hour. intimacy on display for all the waking spirits to see. there it is again, that feeling in the air. shorter shadows promising longer days. can you smell it yet?

[pb-and-jammothy]

Dr Crowley, my dear Dr Fell, welcome... to Jurassic Park

*bwa bwa bwaaaa bwa bwa*

Hello, I'll be tonights pre-show entertainment, and I am thrilled to announce:

Couples Therapy: Jurassic Park Edition

With a home release to an AO3 tab near you Fall 2024

This is a team project, with yours truly as the poster artist, @megaarn as the scene artist, and @rainwritings (AO3) as our author. Created for @do-it-with-style-events 's Silver Screen Bang

Hope to see y'all there, folks

[qwilanikan]

I was so excited about the fairytale bang because I had been wanting to do some watercolor illustrations in the style of old school fairytale Illustrators like Dulac and Rackham and Folkard!

It has been a pleasure to work with @rainwritings for the @fairytalegobang!

Check out their fic! My illustration is in chapter 5!

[doctorriverweek]

header fanart by ren-nolasco ; divider by @cafekitsune

Welcome to the official page for DoctorRiver Appreciation Week 2025! It's still very much bare bones as I am figuring things out as I go, but I hope to have things set up as soon as possible! This is my first time running an event. Suggestions are very much welcomed.

First things first:

Once that is decided, I can finalize the banner and post the prompts, rules & FAQs, etc.

Interest tags: @acetheta @spoilerssweetie13 @4pondsinabox @wibblyrlin @savycon63 @badasseryandriversong @chaoswithrory @mrsquiggle-themanfromthemoon @miajaison @kisses-quitefrenchthat @lotus-ignis @natalkanatalkanatalka @frillytimetraveler @sajizasu @asociallyawkwardduckling @riversongs-favouriterat @sunnynoble @theashrider @whogirl42 @b4si1wh0 @spiritshadow16 @corporateslave13 @cheech-11 @rainwritings @punkcottagecoreprincess @itsdawnforyou @sankta-wraith @daka-d3monb0y @nyxlyx @spacecurlsandbowties @athenxt @mysticaltora8276 @thelibraryismytardis

[tamsinsfanfictionrecs]

Fanfiction Recommendation 212: what a wicked game we play (Good Omens)

what a wicked game we play - rainbowumbrella - Good Omens (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

A really, really good story looking at explores what would happen if Aziraphale had fallen after the Edinburgh incident.

It's written by the lovely @rainwritings, so let them know if you liked it.

[speckledsnowbeast]

Hallo everyone!! I've got another bang piece for you from the @fairytalegobang !! This time, it was my art that inspired a story...and what a story it is from the lovely @rainwritings ! It's so sweet...you should go read it~

And the piece that inspired it.... 🐉

Dragon cuddlesssssssssss ❤️ 🔥

[ineffableclassics]

“No,” Crawley finally said, after what felt like an eternity. It was long enough for the water to rise about half an inch. “I got you into this, angel, we’ll see it through together. Besides, who knows how long this is going to go for? Might need to take care of this unicorn for a few days.”

“Ah, you see… the rain is supposed to last forty days and forty nights. And I believe the flood itself should go on for quite a bit longer.”

Perfect. Plenty of time for Hell to notice they were missing a demon on Earth, what could possibly go wrong? “Well, then. You might need a hand babysitting the unicorn.”

***

Crowley and Aziraphale babysit a unicorn until the waters of the flood recede enough to return it home.

Words: 10,665

Status: Complete

Rating: Teen and Up

By @rainwritings

Art Credit: A Virgin with a Unicorn by Palazzo Farnese

[possibility-left]

Good Omens fic recs #72

Bird in Space by mayhawk/@may--hawk - A/C & Muriel gen, 4k words.  Aziraphale returns to Heaven after the end of S2 but ends up captured and hurt.  Some whump which is followed by soft, gentle healing and some really important conversations.  And flying!  Lovely.

You Go Too Fast For Me by @chlorineanddaisies - A/C & Muriel gen, 600 words.  A little S2 coda in which Muriel goes looking for Crowley in order to give him a speeding ticket.  The Muriel POV works really well; this is very cute!

The Dark Horse of a Party by Luinlothana - Crowley, Warlock, & the Bentley gen, 500 words.  When Warlock requests pony rides at his birthday party, Crowley knows there's only one beast he can trust.  So funny and inventive in only 500 words!

(catch you) every time you fall by rainbowumbrella/@rainwritings - A/C, 9k words.  This is a lovely hurt/comfort coda to 1941 Part 2.  When Gabriel shows up unexpectedly at the bookshop and smites Crowley, Crowley remembers a time before the Beginning.  The two stories are so well-juxtaposed and soft.  It's lovely to see protective Aziraphale here, and how much they care for each other without ever saying the words.

A Bit of Time (Apart) by Jennistar - A/C, 3k words.  After their first anniversary together, Crowley and Aziraphale decide to spend a little bit of time apart -- not apart-apart, just in different places.  This person has a great Aziraphale voice, as the story is told from his POV, and I loved Nina and Maggie and Muriel in it too.  There's a lot of emotion here, but also a lot of joyful catharsis, and I love the ending.

[mediawizard]

A few caricatures. Shoutout to The Rainwriters.

[rainachaeri]

Underswap Papyrus X Reader

You were on your way somewhere when this skeleton man approached you from the other side of the street. What could he possibly want?

--

He was a weird fellow, as far as weird fellows go, and a skeleton one at that. A first impression overwritten in seconds the moment you noticed the group of snickering monsters (a tall fish lady, a small lizard lady, and another skeleton) that stood on the other side of the street.

Alleged weirdness aside, it must've been a dare of some sorts. His friends dared him to approach you. Yeah. That was it. Maybe. Could be. Possibly. Because why else would a tall skeleton dressed in business casual cross the street and approach you? It definitely wasn't one of those cute-little-girl-scouts-selling-some-yummy-cookies moments, or those random people outside of stores handing you brochures and pamphlets. No. This was definitely different. Unfortunately, that conclusion did not help you at all. So when he finally stood before you, eye sockets meeting yours, you could only stand and stare. Had you not known any better, you would’ve thought time stopped right there and then, but the illusion was broken by his sockets darting left and right from one of your eyes to the other.

How it did that? You might never know.

And, before you knew it, he broke the silence with a question you never thought you’d ever get.

“so, how’s it feel like? seeing the milky way every day?” he breathed out, if that was even possible for a skeleton with no lungs.

And like the graceful, quick-witted lady that you were, you replied with another question.

“Sorry?”

The moment the apology left your lips, you wished for the ground beneath you to open up and swallow you whole, never to be seen again. 

Fortunately, the man did not seem to share your sentiments, nor did he sense the embarrassment oozing out of you. Or maybe he did and simply said nothing about it. Either way, you knew life had to go on. You blinked the embarrassment away and redirected your attention back to the man; you waited for him to elaborate.

“yeah, that,” he said, then gestured vaguely to your face with his bony hand. Heat crept from your neck and you tried to fight off the warmth before it could reach your cheeks.

“Oh,” was all that you could muster to say, half flattered and half still confused at what he’s attempting to imply. You looked down and played with the strap of your satchel.

He laughed, and you couldn’t be more redder then. “you’re really cute too. can i have your name?”

At the question, your head returned to earth. “May,” you said to him with a frown.

“may, huh?” he said, and a soft chuckle left his teeth. “nice to meet you, may, the name's—”

Your giggle interrupted him. His sockets widened when you shook your head up at him with a small smile.

“That’s not what I meant, I was trying to say that—”

“IF YOU TWO KISSED, REST ASSURED, DINNER WILL BE ON ME,” another skeleton hollered behind him. You remembered then the assumption you had on why this man approached you, and you were right; he really was dared!

This time, it was the man’s turn to be embarrassed, evident from the tinge of orange that painted his cheekbones. He turned back towards the group before he faced you again with his arm raised and his fingers scratching the back of his skull.

“ah… just–just ignore them. they’re… uh.”

You couldn’t help but grin at the situation. The man from earlier that had approached you with pure confidence had then crumbled into an embarrassed mess.

“Come on now, you silly punks!” another one from the group urged, relentless, and it was the yellow lizard lady that time. The skeleton man looked away when the rest of the group began to chant, and his bony fists clenched the hem of his dress shirt like it was the only thing keeping him grounded.

To save him from further embarrassment, you steeled yourself before you stood on the tips of your toes and leaned in, pressing your lips to his still orange cheeks. The man stiffened, while a resounding cheer erupted from the group.

You did not linger long. With a tight grip on the strap of your satchel, you leaned back and trained your eyes down on the pavement.

“Wouldn’t wanna pass up free dinner, y’know?” you murmured, but you did not dare look up at the man you had just kissed on the cheek, nor did you dare think. You knew the moment you let a single thought run in your mind, the train of panic would come rolling in, and it was never fun when the train of panic would come, especially with what you had just done. You've never done what you just did before, and quite frankly, this was the first time you ever did something remotely romantic.

To distract your mind from it, you willed your eyes to go back up, back to the face of the man in front of you, only to see he himself was looking away.

“right… uh… yeah.”

You bit your lip, unsure what to do next. To your delight, someone else had decided it for you, in the form of a… a goat shaped gentleman, and a child, presumably the man’s friends, who pulled you two from the pool of awkwardness you both swam and drowned in.

“Well, come on, then. We heard what happened. It's time for dinner,” the man said as he turned to you. “Unless you two prefer to have each other for dinner?”

The frown returned to your lips. “That’s…. Wouldn't that be illegal?”

From beside you, the skeleton man let out a series of soft nyeh heh heh's. It's a sound that echoed in your head over and over, even when you were finally sat at a table in a restaurant surrounded by six people (two skeletons, a lizard and a fish lady, and a goat man and a child) you don't know, and they were at total ease scooping and shoving food in their mouths while you were still trying to fight off your anxieties of not looking like a fool while sipping the soup.

It was just soup, what was so hard about it?

Well, okay, maybe sitting right across the skeleton whose cheek you just kissed earlier would make eating soup a little difficult, and glancing at him, he wasn't faring well either, just twisting his spoon around this way and that.

“So, dear, what was your name again?” the goat man from earlier asked, who you just realized was the king of the monsters himself, Asgore, and he was feeding a child, the very child who happened to have freed the monsters underground.

“oh, her name’s may—”

“It’s YN,” you corrected, smiling at King Asgore, before turning to the tall skeleton man. “I’m YN.”

“Papyrus,” he replied as you faced each other. “Nice to meet you, YN.”

“You too, Papyrus.”

Your eye (or socket?) contact was broken by someone clearing their throat. It was the other skeleton man sitting right next to Papyrus, who wore a blue bandana. “SO, HOW DID YOU TWO MEET?” he said with a grin as he perched his elbow on the table with his mandible on his palm.

“bro, stop,” Papyrus said, and the other skeleton, who was his brother apparently, laughed in response. His laugh was funny, a series of HEH HEH HEH's so similar yet so different from Papyrus.

You could only stare at the exchange, until the fish lady to your left called for your attention. Her voice was soft and meek.

“It–It was Sans w–who… who told Papyrus to… to c–come up to you earlier. I'm… I'm Undyne, b–by the way… And, uhm, this is Alphys.”

You nodded. “Nice to meet you, Undyne, Alphys.”

Alphys grinned. “Nice to meet you too!”

“I DO RECALL SAYING DINNER IS ON ME IF YOU TWO KISSED,” Sans started, gaining everyone’s attention. “BUT YOU GUYS DIDN'T EVEN KISS!”

“yeah, we did,” Papyrus argued.

“THAT WAS ON THE CHEEK! I NEED AN ACTUAL KISS! YOU KNOW, NOSE BONE TO NOSE BONE, TEETH TO TEETH, AND MAYBE EVEN A—”

Papyrus clapped a bony hand on Sans mouth (?). “yeah, no, that’s enough.”

The whole table laughed at that, even you couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your lips, the sound catching Papyrus’ attention, and your gazes met once more.

“We can save the actual kissing some other time,” you said, trying and failing to stifle your smiles. Papyrus' jaw dropped, while Sans and Alphys hollered and laughed. Blue even repeatedly smacked him in the back.

“Man, good catch, Rus!” said Alphys.

“YOU HAVE A KEEN EYE, BROTHER!” Sans added.

“shut up,” Papyrus spat and smacked Sans' hand away, and the whole table erupted in laughter.

Just then, the King stood up. All eyes were on him now, and you had to crane your neck so you could look at him.

“This has been wonderful,” he began with a smile, “I enjoyed meeting you, Yn, and so did dear Chara over here, but unfortunately, I have to get them home before sundown. You know how it is. I do would love to see you again, dear.”

“Me too! Please take care!” You smiled at him, then waved back at Chara who was waving at you.

“OH, OF COURSE!” Sans added. “GOODBYE, KING FLUFFYBUNS!”

The rest also bid their farewells as the two left, and just as they exited the establishment, Alphys stood up as well.

“So that was fun! I'm gonna have to go now, though. I've got some errands to run. Yeah! Errands.”

“errands,” Papyrus repeated blandly.

“Yep. Very important. Bye, nerds!”

“YOU KNOW WHAT,” Sans started, and he directed his grin specifically at his brother. “A LIEUTENANT GOES WHEREVER HIS CAPTAIN GOES, SO UNFORTUNATELY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I HAVE TO BID FAREWELL AS WELL! I DO HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAIN SOON, YN!”

Although puzzled, you nodded back. “You too, Sans! Take care.”

You really couldn’t do anything but blink as the number of people at the table dwindled, leaving only you, Papyrus, and Undyne left.

“I–I think,” Undyne spoke, her eyes darting back and forth from you and Papyrus, “that… that this is m–my cue to leave, uhm, have–have fun. I hope?”

As the last of Papyrus’ friends left the establishment, leaving just the two of them at the table, Papyrus took this opportunity to turn to Rune and apologize.

“i, uh, listen, i’m really sorry about… all this, it’s just that–”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind,” you assured him.

Papyrus heaved a sigh of relief. “good, i just… wait.”

At his sudden silence, Your eyebrows furrowed. You almost lifted your hand to reach out for his. Almost. That's weird. Then, Papyrus’ sockets widened like dinner plates.

“shoot, you weren’t about to go somewhere earlier, were you? did i just pull you from something important?”

“Huh,” you breathed, looking down. You wouldn’t exactly say it was important, nor was it something you could just ignore. It was a minor inconvenience at most.

“yn?” Papyrus called. You blinked, before you shook your head, along with the thoughts clouding it.

“I’m glad I got to join you guys for dinner, even though I didn't know any of you at all,” you answered, finally.

It was silent for a moment, then it was broken by Papyrus' soft laughter.

“i’m, uh… i’m glad you had dinner with us. a bunch of randos that you just saw on the street. not every day would you see someone accept a stranger’s request to have dinner with them,” he said, before his sockets widened and he shook his head at the implication of his words.

“i don’t actually… i, uh… i hope this isn’t a habit of yours?”

You giggled as he sputtered and winced. And when you kept giggling, he began to laugh along with you. It took a while before your laughter came to a halt and you had to catch your breath. Did he even have to do the same? Was there a breath he needed to catch?

“It’s not,” you said when your breathing finally evened out. “I still don’t know what you meant by what you said earlier though. Or, I think I do? But I kinda don’t either. I’m not really sure.”

“oh, that? i was just, uh, surprised… is all,” he said, looking away. He was scratching the back of his neck again.

“What do you mean by that?” you asked. Papyrus turned his head back and your gazes met once more. But instead of answering, he looked away and cleared his throat.

“oh, whoops. looks like it's, uh, getting late,” he said as he stood up, and he checked his wrist watch. You frowned at the change of subject, but said nothing. Instead, you craned your neck upwards once more.

“you, uh, okay going home? do you need me to come with? would that be okay? or would that be too weird?” he rambled on as he played with the hem of his shirt. You stood up as well, watching as he pulled and pinched the cloth. Could you stop his fidgeting by holding his hand in yours? Would they still once your skin met his bones? Would it—okay, no, stop. You distracted yourself by focusing all your energy on gripping the strap of your satchel as hard as you could.

“It’s fine, I can get a taxi from here,” you said as you looked down at your feet.

“good. that’s good.”

After that, it was pure silence. Aside from the sounds of utensils scraping on plates and the constant incoherent chatter from the people inside this tiny diner they were in. You wanted to slap yourself at your inability to continue conversations. Not wanting to look crazy by physically slapping yourself, you mentally did it instead.

Much to your delight, you were saved from having to physically slap yourself later when you got home by Papyrus who cleared his throat once more.

“so, uh, i’ll be going now, i guess,” Papyrus said, but made no move to “be going now.”

You nodded. “Right.”

“and you’ll be going too.”

You nodded again. “Yeah.”

“and I hope i’ll, uh… see you around? i guess?”

You were smiling now. “Me too.”

Papyrus played with the hem of his shirt again, before turning around and making a start for the door, but not before you called back for him. He turned back around, your gazes met again.

“You’re not gonna ask for my…” you trailed off as you lifted your phone, giving it a little shake.

His sockets widened. “is… you don’t mind?”

Your grin widened in return. “I mean, I am asking for it, aren’t I?”

After an exchange of numbers, Papyrus insisted to see you off as you called for a taxi. You exchanged tiny waves before you entered and then you were off.

It was only when you made it back to your home with your shoes and socks finally off and now discarded and forgotten on the ground did you notice the new text Papyrus sent you.

“It was your eyes,” you read out loud. You repeated it once, twice, then thrice. Until you couldn’t as you planted yourself face first into the sofa, your squeals were muffled by the pillow.

---

Sooo like the other papyrus fic i posted, this is also just a draft for now, and I'm basically posting this to incentivise myself to continue and finish this in the future :D

The only difference here is that this fic was originally a short story I wrote last year that I never finished because I got stuck lol, so I figured, maybe if I reworked it into a fanfic instead I might actually finish it?

Since this is a work from a year ago, the writing is kinda different, and I'm gonna have to revise this a bunch I think :D

I also wrote a poem for this last year! I just, uh, dunno where it is now but I'll try and find it! It's called milky way like the title of this fic is gonna be

Rambled a bit there oops

So yes, keep in mind that this is just a draft, which means it's a little rough, but once I actually post this and the other one on AO3, it'll be more polished :D

[simonbrain]

i know it's been done many times before, but i just love gross weird creepy awkward simon and his cute harmless bird.

like she's so intrigued by him, so infatuated with this odd man. she giggles at his dark humour and crude jokes, a genuine smile on her face as her shoulders shake from laughing so hard while he's huffing out a sound of amusement of his own. meanwhile, everyone else has an uncomfortable look on their faces, giving them both judgemental stares.

he's the type to tug her close to him and kiss her nasty, uncaring if they're in a public setting. he sucks on her tongue and spits in her mouth, a big hand reaching down to squeeze her ass before disappearing up her skirt. he doesn't really care if others watch or not, and he grips her tight when she tries to escape, swallowing all her squeaky little noises with a satisfied hum.

there's no shame when it comes to him. he lets her know when he's going for a piss and asks if she wants to come, not bothering to close the door (he demands that she leaves it open when she goes too; it's only fair). he uses her hand to jerk himself off when she's busy or not in the mood, heavy groans rumbling from his chest because it feels so much better than rutting into his rough hand—not as lovely as her soft, pretty cunt though. he lets his tongue dip low to lap at her asshole and ignores her whiny protests, promising he'll make her feel good in a second, groaning to himself as she grinds against his face.

ughhh he's just so unusual. sometimes he stares at her too long for it to be considered cute, dark eyes burning into her very soul for so long that she has to remind him to blink. he corners her just to get a whiff of her perfume, heavy breathing down her neck like he's getting worked up just from smelling her.

when he comes home from deployment and tells her about the things that happened while he was away (lost one of my good knives in tha' prick), she's sitting pretty on his lap and chirping out her responses, urging him to tell her more. she says it's good for him to get it off his chest, but really she likes hearing his gruesome stories. it makes her heart flutter that he's so skilled and competent.

others have come up to her asking if she's okay and if she's aware of the weirdo following her, and she's like "yeah that's my man :)" she tries her best to drive them away before he starts sulking over yet another person interrupting their parallel play.

she just really loves how strange and off-putting he is.

[cottagecore-raccoon]

Here are some of my favorite ineffable wives fics!

I Want a Butch Girlfriend by OfEden (@etherealarms)

Crowley meets the most handsome butch woman and immediately has a crush. They become fast friends, as they hang out more Crowley doesn't know how to tell her she has a crush, not wanting to ruin their friendship. Aziraphale couldn't possibly like her back right?

I'm Your Landsailor by IneffableDoll (@ineffable-doll)

In a small seaside town called Tadfield, one of the last places on Earth where humans and magic coexist, an exiled selkie and a human who ran away from her life accidentally get themselves married in the oldest, most binding sense. The two are forced to stay together until they can find a way to undo it and free the other from their accidental marriage. It sure would be complicated if they started to fall for each other in the process…

Bewitched by CemeteryAngel725

New York City. December 1942. Crowley is grateful for the work, really, she is. She loves playing the piano at Luke Rossetti's club, loves watching Angel taking command of the room, loves sneaking around together in the dressing room when no one is looking. But Luke is a dangerous man, and he has his eye on Angel. And Crowley would never, ever let anything happen to her.

the fated thought of you by rainbowumbrella (@rainwritings)

Ill-fitting as it might seem, though, the knight’s armor certainly isn’t the rough kind you might expect from someone who might’ve inherited a set rather than have one custom-made — it’s polished and intricately designed, with small snake patterns adorning the edges, carved in minute detail that Aziraphale can’t help but think must have taken so long, so much care to finish. It’s an armor of royalty, on a lanky knight who’s shown up alone at her gates with his steed. “Hello,” she greets them, smiling a smile that’s likely a little too wide. She must remember her manners, she tells herself, and keep things perfectly polite. There’s some shuffling then the knight straightens. “I… Well, I heard there’s a princess here, and a curse, and I’m here to break it?” Princess Aziraphale has been living alone in a castle for a long time, with only her guardian dragon Crowley for company. When a mysterious knight shows up at her gates to finally break her curse, she thinks her fortunes might at last be changing.

Hooped Earrings by OfEden (@etherealarms)

After 29 years Azira comes out. While her family and ex boyfriend don't support her, her life long best friend is there by her side every step of the way.

The Art of Human Nature by IneffableDoll (@ineffable-doll)

Crowley is a painter who has only ever had an eye for nature. That is, until a client named Aziraphale commissions her for a painting to boost her self-confidence, and Crowley discovers that her client is as beautiful as the Earth itself. Then she goes and catches feelings, because she’s a disaster.

One month until Ineffable Wives Weekend!

Reblog this post with some of your favorite preexisting ineffable wives works (self recs welcome)!

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[sketches--of--the--scenery]

Eggs to Fry

the sequel

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Am I, too, an egg to fry? Is no one safe from this decline? Should we mere mortals feign resist the coming grasp of frying discs submit ourselves, in the pan to sizzle as we fry alone?

[writerrain]

Since I can't stop thinking about Hartley after this week's episode, I would like to know what you would write for a Hartmon fic titled "Pride"

Sorry for being late and thank you for the prompt!

Pride

Royalty au in which Cisco is a prince, and Hartley is the most Renaissance man ever (well second only to Leonardo but yeah). Cisco’s father becomes Hartley’s patron and invites him to the palace to create inventions and whatnot.

Cisco is not the heir to the throne, since Dante is, and would want to invent things himself, but whenever he tries his father reprimends him for not acting like a royal should. So Cisco is excited to have a famous inventor in his palace, an emotion that dies as soon as he meets Hartley. No one should be that rude, not only to royalty but in general.

The thing is that Hartley takes great pride in everything he makes and is extremely critic of his research, his inventions, his poems, his paintings. He takes his own judgement just fine, but any critique that comes from others? Unacceptable. Which is why he can’t really stand the stupid prince and his unprompted comments on Hartley’s work. 

No matter that sometimes the prince’s ideas are not that stupid.

After some months and despite all the bitckering, Cisco feels like they have become friends. Not that Hartley would ever admit it, so Cisco says nothing. He says nothing even when visiting nobles clearly flirt with Hartley right in front of him making Cisco feel weird. If he didn’t know better, he would say he was jealous. Which is crazy, because why would he?

On the other hand, Hartley starts to realize that Cisco’s presence in his workshop makes him angry less and less, even if he has to keep up appearances. Because the prince should not get the wrong idea. They are not friends. Hartley doesn’t have time for friends. He barely has time to roll in the hay with the occasional visiting noble, he can’t do friends. 

Even if it does bother him when Cisco is not around because some lord’s daughter is at the castle and both princes are forced to spend time with any eventual young and unmarried lady that comes to them.

And it shouldn’t bother Hartley at all. Because Cisco’s absence should make him work faster, not distract him like, however, happens more and more frequently. And when Hartley can’t focus on an invention or on a book he has taken from the amazing library he now has access to, he writes poetry. Which is not new, but he has never written so much in his life before, because poetry was a way to spend time, not the job he loved. And his mind always goes to the pince. And it should’t. It really, really shouldn’t, because... well. Because he’s a prince. And Hartley is not exactly princess material.

Everything changes, however, when Dante’s engagement is announced, and the king tells Cisco that it would be good if he got married as soon after his brother as possible.

While Cisco panics in the search for a bride, will Hartley be able to set his pride aside and tell Cisco that he is in love with his stupidly brilliant mind?