#reading back this might be obvious but idk i think we focus a lot on his insecurity about being weaker than demons

[inusmasha]

So like...Inuyasha's decision to steal the Jewel and become a full demon rather than using it to become human and joining some village is interesting. I mean I get it,, he's had to literally fight to see another day. But this implies that Inuyasha is maybe ...afraid...of being human?? We know he believes humans are weaker. ....but maaaaybe it has to do with witnessing his mother's death as a kid. So being terrified has probably been his default mode for a very long time.. Which is why his rash agreement to turn human when Kikyo asks isn't just him taking a crazy ass risk. It shows that he's more afraid of being alone than being dead. lol. owie. haha.

[fuckyeahisawthat]

So I'm still super obsessed with your take that Paul's visions are an "inversion" of reality and there's one that my brain is vibrating about in particular. In part 1 there's that one shot of him and Chani (and a couple others I think but it's not clear who they are) on a ship about to land (on Caladan?), with Paul in front and Chani standing behind him.

Now maybe I'm reading too much into this or taking it too literally, but for the most part the visions that are the most obviously "inverted" were the ones concerning the two of them, so I'm wondering what your take on that particular vision might be? Could it be she's actually in front with him behind her? Which seems like an unimportant detail but there could be some deeper layer there perhaps?? idk my brain is buzzing about it and I wanna know if you have Thoughts

Heyyyy. To be fair I'm not the first person to notice the thing about Paul and Chani's positions switching in his visions; I think I first saw that on Twitter. But ooh yes let's talk about that vision.

I'm assuming you mean this series of shots, from the visions Paul has in the tent after the attack on Arrakeen:

I don't think them switching places is going to be a one-to-one thing that happens every time Paul sees them together in a vision. But there is a lot of interesting stuff to talk about here. Chani wearing black--the color of power and empire--dressed to match Paul, standing at his right hand with no Irulan in sight. Chani gazing haughtily down at Paul's followers in a way it is hard to imagine the real Chani doing. Chani seeming entirely okay with this situation.

This makes me think that this is either a possible future where she has come to accept what Paul is doing, or a future where she is pretending to accept what he is doing for reasons of her own. But, as with all Paul's visions, we don't know if this is the future. (For one, the flags are different than the ones we see at the end of Part Two; they're the traditional Atreides green, white and black instead of the red and tan Desert Power Edition.) We don't know what else Paul sees once he drinks the Water of Life, but this could certainly be a possibility for "She'll come to understand, I've seen it."

While I was watching back through this series of visions I noticed another interesting thing. In Part One, there are multiple shots where we are following Chani walking through the desert, wearing a long white dress with her hair blowing in the wind. But in Part Two, Jessica is the figure in white that Paul is following. (I also think there is at least one shot where the person in white is so backlit/out of focus that we can't tell who it is.) We also have these parallel scenes of Paul in a tent in distress over a vision: Paul seeing the vision of following Chani while Jessica is there trying to comfort him, and later in Part Two, Paul describing the nightmare/vision of following Jessica to Chani as she tries to comfort him.

The metaphor here I think is a bit more obvious--Chani and Jessica represent two opposite paths Paul could take, either embracing the prophecy or rejecting it. But it's interesting to see them connected or superimposed on each other through the visions this way. In the vision in Part One, Jessica even speaks through (or over) Chani; we see Chani say "Paul" in the same urgent way Jessica is saying it in real life.

What does all this mean? Once again, we don't know! Chani is a phantasm at this point in Part One; Paul has not actually met her in real life so it's not clear if the Chani in his visions represents an actual possible future for the real Chani, or if she operates as more of a symbol or a projection of things in his own head. I think the intent is to keep us guessing by having the visions function in different ways--some are the future, some are a version of the future but twisted, and some are metaphors or warnings, and we often don't know in advance which is which. But I'll be super curious to see if some version of this scene comes back in Dune Messiah.

[nezz-cringe-crib]

teru mikami analysis bc i love him

hi i'm just here to rant about how much i love teru mikami's character because he's genuinely such a well written character. this is probably gonna be unorganized and just rambly. i might rewrite it later but for now i just need another reason to procrastinate and focus on my silly emos.

(oh yeah also spoilers if that isn't obvious)

-------------------------------------------------------------

mikami is probably one of the best representations of religious trauma (at least imo and from what i've seen). i haven't read the manga yet and a lot of this might just be me projecting, but either way he's still the top in my books. there's SO many scenes and details about him that remind me so much of myself when i was still heavily involved with christianity (and to be clear, this is my own interpretation, not me tryna shit on any religions. that's a big wompwomp no-no. respect ppl hoes). so here's some random bits about mikami that make me go "OH SHIT ME-CORE ALERT!!!!":

the entire thing with his mom. i know that when he reflects back on his mom's death, he talks about how he's happy the whole thing happened because "she's evil and god killed the evil for me thanks god" but i completely believe the whole thing is just him brainwashing himself. like think about it for a second. his mom just died in the same car crash that involved his main tormentors, and this was also right after he was holding a slight grudge against his mom for defending said tormentors (she obviously didn't do that. she was just trying to help mikami view the world from a more realistic point of view to keep him out of trouble, but when you're that young and that passionate about justice, to him it'll seem like she's defending the same evil he's trying to fight). when you combine these things together, this is just gonna lead to a WHOLE lot of conflicted and lost feelings, and we see that in mikami. he had just been through a rough conversation with his mom, and she died before he could even get a chance to really think about said convo. all he is left with is a mixed feeling of loss, resentment, and fear. however, on the other hand, her death meant that the tormentors she was defending had also died. so to him, it has to mean something, doesn't it? the group of bastards that had been ruining his and others' lives and had finally been rid of. and if this had happened right after his mother had been defending them, it has to be a sign, right? there has to be a reason for all this hurt, right? when mikami is viewing the world through these lenses, it makes sense that'd he'd suddenly want a reason to justify his mom's death, even though it feels unbelievably cruel. so he finds a reason, and he finds that reasoning through god. this is honestly something that i used to do a lot when i was still heavily invested in my church, and i'm sure there are others who have been in the same situation. when the world is unjustifiably cruel, people will make up justification for it. it's a fear tactic that many people fall prey to in religious environments, and if not treated, it can fester into much more toxic environments for the people around them.

^^^ tldr: mikami copes with his mom's death by telling himself "it's okay that my mom died!! she was working for satan and god had to kill her!! thanks god!!" and if that's not the most religious-trauma-core shit out there then idk what is.

ALSO LITERALLY JUST EVERYTHING WITH LIGHT'S DEATH???? YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THAT SHIT HURT MAN. the realization that your god is not the god you thought you had been following used to be some of the scariest shit out there to me and mikami had it thrown right at his face when light died. not only was his god gone, but his god was never a god to begin with. he was just some guy. some pathetic guy who was now bleeding out and screaming on the ground. he had dedicated his life to this thing, and it was never real to begin with. and so he dies with it. because when the god revolving your life is gone, what other life do you really have? mikami was the perfect fucking example of that and i need it to be talked about more fucking please guys he's literally just like me fr i swear.

that's all i can think of right now tbh. if there's any typos in here no there isn't you're wrong nuhuh. anyways i fucking love mikami's character. he might be an antisocial autistic boyloser edgelord but he's MY antisocial autistic boyloser edgelord and i will defend him with my life. that hoe did EVERY wrong thing but your honor he is just a silly guy.

[moraloreldeservedbetter]

Little late to the party as always but I'm here for the father's day prompt.

Geez… The fathers of Moral Orel….

First of all, I agree that I want to see Karl's character expanded.  I mean, he's a really bad father, but mostly I want to know why he's a father.  Why did Karl and Kim decide to have Doughy?  Was it an accident and they carried to term, took care of him for a while, then abandoned him because it would lead to less judgment than not keeping the baby would have?  Or did they have Doughy on purpose because it's the logical next step after getting married, and all the cutest couple have a baby because babies are cute, and then they realized that a child was a lifelong commitment and a responsibility they didn't want, so as soon as he was out of that cute baby phase and didn't make them look like an adorable couple with something helpless to nurture, they pushed him to the side?  Karl certainly doesn't like him in the house, so maybe he liked the idea of a baby before he realized a baby demands a lot of attention from its mother and he got jealous and angry and kicked him out as soon as he could?  Idk, but it's a question I would love to see answered.

Another father in the show that I think is super underrated is Sal Figurelli.  He has two kids, his wife ran out on him once, and he's part of the only black family in Moralton.  And yeah, the Figurelli's are the focus of God's Image, but it's not actually about them.  It's a criticism of using religion as an excuse to be racist, which is a good message, but I think it raises more questions than it does answers.  We know Mr. Figurelli is a hard worker and business owner who doesn't let things get to him despite the odds the town throws at him, but we don't know what his relationship is with his children beyond 'they work with him sometimes' and 'Billy trusts him enough to run to him when Susie hits him', but their mom wasn't home when that happened so who knows who he chooses when the opportunity arises.

I also wish we had seen more of Tommy's family in general, especially his dad since his mom was shown much more in "God's Blunders."  They seem to really care about their son, they're just so mired in the dogma of Moralton to actually put that love into action.  And Tommy being so smart and curious makes me wonder if his dad used to bring him home books because he asked for them.  I can really see Tommy's parents getting him the science books he asks for to make him happy, even if they think his IQ is too low to actually understand what he's reading (even though that couldn't be further from the truth).  Idk, I know the Littlers aren't the best parents to Tommy, but given the other parents of Moralton, they actually seem like some of the good ones.  I mean, they could stand to listen to their son more often, because if they did they'd realize just how brilliant he is, but at least they're willing to spend time with him and they do things to protect him when they think he might be a danger to himself.  I demand to know more about Mr. Littler.

Then, there's my obvious curiosity about Art Posabule.  If he's the Bloberta to Christina, I wonder what his brand of neglect entails.  I like to imagine that Art is largely apathetic to his family and would rather lock himself in his study and drink.  The only reason I even think Art spanks Christina the way Clay spanks Orel is because Poppet tells him to and he doesn't care enough to argue about it (my big headcanon about the Posabule household is that Poppet feels that she needs absolute control of her family, from choosing what they wear, to dictating where they go, to even wanting a lock on every door so she can control who can come in/leave rooms, and Art is a huge enabler who never says no to her because he doesn't feel the need to).

Also, Bloberta's dad.  I would say that he seemed like a good parent that was only held back by what an abusive relationship (to what extend, I don't know, but definitely emotionally), but I do think he might actually be playing favorites also.  Maybe it's out of spite; a sort of "my abuser like these children, so I'm going to choose the one she doesn't like as much" but even so, I feel like the roles would be swapped if he were the one in control instead of his wife.  He was a good dad to Bloberta, which is great!  But I feel like if he had his way, then Lunchbox and Modella would have been the miserable ones.  Maybe I'm wrong, and he would have loved them all equally, but it's hard to see, since we only see him after he's already been broken into a nervous wreck who can't even accept love from his own daughter because he's so anxious and traumatized. Kinda wonder if his choose to marry his wife was just as pressured onto him and manipulative as Bloberta was to Clay. It would be interesting because then his beloved, favorite daughter would have turned into the same monster that hurt him so much, and seeing her neglect her kids the way her mother neglected her might actually break his heart, given how much he cared for her. I'll bet he feels really sad and guilty because he couldn't get his wife to treat her better, and then Bloberta wasn't able to break the cycle. I know Bloberta is a grown woman who made those choices on her own, and there's no one to blame for her neglect towards Orel, Shapey, and Block besides herself, but I get the feeling the abuse he went through would make him think it was his fault. I just feel for the guy so much, tbh. His wife is a horrible abuser to him and Bloberta, and given the way she snapped at Modella when she thought she sang off-key, possibly all her children, and he seems to blame himself for not stepping up even though nobody, not even the viewers, knows what she might do if he does step up.

Anyway, this is far too long and SO wordy but I'm very curious about the side families in Moral Orel.  They all seem to have their own problems, so it's interesting to see fathers like Mr. Figurelli and Tommy's dad, who aren't always fantastic but do seem to genuinely love their kids.  It's a shame we didn't get to see most of them as fathers.

(Also as an extremely side note, it would have been interesting if they expanded upon Marionetta's family, since we know she has a baby sister and a dad, but we never saw her mom.  So shout out to Marionetta's dad for being the only other single father in Moralton besides Putty?)

OH MY GOD

YES

FINALLY

god this needs to be explorered more in this fandom!!

[thesherrinfordfacility]

alright next up on the list of ideas to dredge up from the drafts and talk about in more detail is the focus on books in this season, because its driving me around the bend

but because i literally have no answers whatsoever to this, im just going to do a crowley-core #justgirlythings and just ask questions:

ep2 goob (rip) lines: "books are key!" which ok yeah obvious but:

"and see, the big ones can be used as fly swats - and i know what you're thinking, but it's okay, because the beauty part is, it never works!"... hmmmm

but also earlier on, goob asks aziraphale "what [letter] comes after 'K'?", which is 'L', but goob then immediately refers back to his book that he's alphabetising, which is A Tale of Two Cities, and that starts with 'it'...? so why highlight the letter 'L'? (this might be something of nothing but given Book of Life idk could literally have been ANY other letter)

but then we have the rest of the episodes that cascaded from the two things above; first, the book blueprint of the universe in ep1, which AWCW was referring to, but only from page 11 onwards (so what was on pages 1-11?):

ep2: crowley discovering that jane austen wrote books (like, other than it being a comedic point of their conflicting remembrance of her as a person, and gives the "you think you know someone!" foreshadowing, it felt very pointed that crowley learns that she was a writer as well)

ep2 also sees aziraphale looking at a huge tome which, given everything that's going on, seems weird that he'd be randomly consulting? idk what the book is so not doubling down on this... anyone know if ive just missed something obvious?

but also makes a point of consulting the bible after goob recites what god said to job in the bookshop. which, given that he and crowley readily recognise what god says (he even says to crowley, "I most certainly do [remember]"), seems weird that they'd need to consult a book to remind them who job was and his story... could be exposition and for the cool fall-through effect, but possibly felt a bit unneeded. plus, it got aziraphale so absorbed that he totally conked out and missed crowley leaving the shop:

aziraphale writing in his diary at his desk on his bed, lying in his tummy, feet kicking in the air, in ep3:

the magician's pamphlet that not only follows aziraphale's epiphany of realising he's in love with crowley but also literally sets up the opportunity for aziraphale to demonstrate how much he trusts him, and is ultimately used against them in being discovered as (at least) being traitors to their respective sides:

plus the Hoffman book, and the angel field-guide:

like, oversimplifying, but literally all of ep5 being based on jane austen works

emphasis on muriel wanting to read books in the background of the Showdown going on in ep6, being chucked The Crow Road by crowley, and metatron being weirdly interested in the fact that they're reading it... like, how would he not know what a book is? why is it "excellent", and a "perfectly splendid thing to do"? odd choice of words even if you want them to take over the bookshop:

now this one i can believe is literally just about goob in the shop and that's fine, but again the emphasis on books anyway (and also michael's weirdly strong but conflicting memory? might write a different post about that bc i think michael got got by metatron somewhere along the line):

back to ep2 but fitting to bookend on:

so okay yeah sure, im certain the book of life comes into all of this somewhere (ive posted about it here but im fairly certain it's not what heaven/hell seems to claim it is, and i think only the metatron truly knows that). there's been a lot of emphasis on memory too in this season, but taking that out of the equation a minute, the main things giving me heebie-jeebies is goob's line about using big books as fly swats, and obviously metty-babes' weird reaction to the crow road...

idk where im going with this and ill probably look at this again but all of this was floating around my noggin and i couldn't take it anymore

[lynxxjay]

Jeffy's 20th birthday prediction/idea

so I just realized that in recent videos, Jeffy has shown to be drawing a lot, like in Jeffy the Sketch Artist or just a lot in intros for videos

even if it's just shown as a gag of him drawing quetionable stuff-

Jeffy's real father (Jacques Pierre Francois) is coincidentally also an artist, a very competitive one too

maybe in Jeffy's 20th birthday or any future sml vid he might meet Jacques in an art competition like Junior did and maybe we can get a story on why he left Nancy and his children (although its obvious) and maybe a dynamic between the pair

although it might not be wholesome cuz Jacques is shown to be greedy and have no remorse for leaving them

this is how I imagine the episode would be like if it does focus more on Jeffy's dad

So they were normally celebrating his birthday (Marvin wanting to kick him out cuz he's already 20 but Rose was like no)

Jeffy does something wreckless and stupid again that results in him breaking something to precious and probably worth alot of money (maybe his car idk) and Marvin was so pissed he was about to kick Jeffy out but Rose stopped him and they saw an ad on the tv about an art competition with a grand prize, Rose suggests Jeffy enters the competition so he can pay Marvin for the damages and not get kicked out- so Jeffy enters the competition, goes against Jacques, and wins which definitely made Jacques angry- and for some event that made him knew that Jeffy was his son (idk how he'll realize that) he invites Jeffy to his home, treats him well and spoils him to stay with him so he can use Jeffy as a

way to sell more art or just use him in general, so Jeffy decides to stay with his real dad because he thinks Marvin is horrible and not pay him back the money

but then we see Jacques maybe overworking or abusing Jeffy which made Jeffy realize he wants to live nack with his old parents and ect ect

we can get the same vibes as "Jeffy's Parents" where it shows Marvin and Jeffy missing each other and Jeffy maybe appreciating Marvin a bit more

this way we can see Jeffy's relationship with his real dad and maybe an explanation to why he left and shows a sad and wholesome video like they used to do with old sml sometimes

I am not re-reading this so if my grammar suck then srry 🥲

[doubledyke]

hey, i’ve read some of your writing and i really like it. do you have any tips?

aw dude that's really sweet. i'm really self conscious about everything i write so i appreciate hearing that. i'm still learning myself, so my advice is probably gonna be kind of obvious yet nebulous (much like my writing). oh and im not great at following my own advice, but we can ignore that.

first and foremost i'd say try to have fun. get weird with it. don't stress too much about it. it's supposed to be an enjoyable pastime, so write what YOU like, how you like. the "rules" of grammar and composition are helpful, but you're allowed to be a lot more lax with creative writing. i know i am 👀

in my humble opinion, you can never have too many details, even- or especially- oddly specific ones. personal experiences are a great way to inject some minutiae, and i enjoy the insight they provide into the author's perspective, background, thought process, etc.. there are infinite other tools at your disposal too. like the number of times i've found myself browsing ancient, niche forums just to confirm one insignificant bit of information is ridiculous.

don't be afraid to take your story as seriously or unseriously as you want. sometimes i'll be snapped out of focus with the thought of "am i really writing this rn" 😂 but i just try to remind myself that i'm (usually) having fun, i'm not hurting anyone and someone might even enjoy the final product.

for eene, try to listen to the voice acting as much as you watch the animation. and don't be afraid to step outside your comfort zone when writing a character. i'm neither comfortable, nor very good at writing for ed, but i nutted up and gave it a shot recently and yeah it's nuclear level cringe but i suppose it can't get any worse, right? RIGHT???.... i love learning new words, so when i'm writing for edd (and in general) you know i keep that thesaurus tab open. with eddy, there's always room for more irreverence. i'm also one of those people that cannot help but drop almost every g when i write eddy. and it's just as important to get their idiolects down, which can be tricky. BUT that's mostly if your goal is to stay close to the source material, which is definitely not necessary. i'm just not a very creative person 😂

if you're in a rut, skip to another section, or hell even another chapter. the fic i'm working on rn was hatched from a simple premise several months ago, so i started at the end and have been building on that. an unconventional starting point can be really helpful when you're struggling to start at all. because i'm me, it's turned into a nightmare beast that i can't seem to contain, but i still have a general idea of where we're going and we'll get there eventually lmfao. to that point, outlines, bullet points, notes, etc. are all very useful.

take breaks, let her sit for a while. i'll write a whole bunch, leave, come back to review and be like girl what the hell is this. fresh eyes make a big difference! however, don't be like me and get too caught up in the weeds. i make compulsive little tweaks of my shit up to the point and even after i hit post. more often than not, it's more stress than it's worth. i just can't help it 🥴

and then of course, read other people's stuff. i'm not much of a fiction reader but i make exceptions for the sake of my hyper-fixation. it truly does help to see different perspectives and styles of writing. everyone has a unique voice that really comes through in creative writing, which i love. i've gleaned a lot from reading other people's work as well. i frequently come across new and creative ideas for changing up sentence structure, dialogue tags and narration by reading stuff from fellow fans.

aaaaaand yeah idk what else really. like i said, i'm not the best at writing but i think as long as you're getting your ideas across in the way that you want to, you're golden. anyone who makes shitty remarks about someone else's writing can sit and spin honestly.

[xjoonchildx]

hello miss ana!

so idk if you remember me, but i was the anon who sent you that ask about her roommate. the one that told you about her roommate picking her up at the airport?

well… we’re getting married and i’m pregnant with our first baby ☺️🥰

a lot has happened since that night he picked me up! but to keep the story short: the next morning he knocked on my bedroom door and there was a lot of tears (on my part 😂) involved but we essentially just laid everything out on the table. turns out he’d been in love with me for a year and a half but i had just had a nasty breakup at the time he’d started falling for me so he just didn’t do anything about it, and plus he didn’t want to be a rebound. but it all worked out in the end because i started falling in love with him too. also, isn’t it funny that the mutual friend who introduced us to each other 3 and a half years ago told him offhandedly that he was going to ‘love me’ and look where we are now 😂

so… yeah. then you know what happens after that ☺️

i saw the Hug™ anon hashtag too and i just wanted to say thank you to everyone who was rooting for us! but i decided not to respond because things were still new between me and him a few months back so i apologize for that… but now that i’m engaged to him and i just found out i’m pregnant with our first baby (that we both might or might not have let happen), i decided to share this with you all ☺️ he proposed a week before we found out i was pregnant, so please don’t worry about him proposing to me out of obligation! we have been making plans for our future, and we’ve started looking at houses around the school district area because we plan to move out of our shared apartment when our baby is a bit older. we had a brief moment where we wondered if we were moving too fast (and it caused our first big couple fight and more tears on my part 😂), but our families and friends were like, “you guys are stupid” because apparently we were so obvious to everyone but ourselves before we even got together. it was a bit embarrassing tbh… but yeah. this feels right for us. we’ve been living together for more than 3 years now, i know what he’s like inside and out and vice versa.

i wish i could invite you all to our wedding (which will not be for another 3-4 years at least). maybe we will get married when bts come back as a group again after their enlistment, but for now my fiancé and i have agreed to not put me through unnecessary stress because the next few years will be tough on us with the baby and moving out. when we’re truly settled in our new house and our baby is a bit older, we can focus on planning a wedding!

again, thank you so much everyone for the support. i’m just a faceless stranger after all 🥹 you were all so kind 😭

am i ... am i crying? yes. yes, i am.

my GOD the Hug™ anon i cannot put into words how incredibly fucking satisfying this was to read. top to bottom, 5/5 stars, no notes. just the giddiest, happiest ride i've been on in a long time.

let's talk about all the romance tropes you've hit on the pinball board of life, shall we?

roommates to lovers

mutual pining

teary confession

hurt/comfort

happily ever after

and the BABY? swear to god the noise i just made at this starbucks made people look at me. i think it was a scream that mutated into a squeal?

live your absolute best life, the Hug™ anon. you are with the man of your dreams, moving towards your future, ready to be a mom, thinking about a new place, just -- so? many? exciting things?

and even though i can't come to your wedding, please allow me to do what i do and suggest two wedding day scents. one is exorbitant and the other more affordable.

for the regular budget: philosophy fresh cream warm cashmere

for the HOT DAMN budget: dama bianca by xerjoff

 💕  💕  💕  💕  💕  💕  💕  💕  💕  💕  💕  💕  💕  💕  💕  💕  💕  💕  💕 

[lenteur]

random thoughts about castaway diva, episode (sau)six

(read more because i always get carried away lol and this post might contain spoilers)

now that i think about it, one thing is bothering me. Why is mr jung so obsessed with finding ki ho only? Didn't he mention there were four members in the family? So why is he so adamant on finding his son ki ho and not the other one? I'm confused. It's true that we didn't see the older in the first episodes so I'm wondering if the brother was already with the mother when ki ho was still in chunsam. It might have been mentioned the brother was already with the mother. I'm not sure.

The whole family wants to keep mr jung a secret and pretend nothing happened. Makes you wonder how far he (mr jung) went. No, I don't want to think about it. I just noticed how the mother is always limping. Mr Jung is a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad person.

I'm glad we finally got answers but I would be happier if mr jung was behind bars and the whole family can live in peace.

On another note, I am so happy to see president hwang keeping his promise and re-realeasing old ran joo albums. Let's cross fingers she'll reach the 20 million mark before the end of her contract.

I'm grateful that the show doesn't only focus on the ki ho story, they're also giving time for ran joo's story to develop. I just want this whole mess to be over and ran joo must win or else, i'll riot!!!

I've already talked about it but the little details are everything. You can see how rnj company treats ran joo and mok ha like they're less than them. They don't let them know about eun mo rae appearing on heyday again. The Heyday cast treating eun mo rae's manager with way more respect than mok ha. Everyone wants them to fail. It's unfair because there's an obvious power imbalance between ran joo and mok ha vs the rest of the company. Rnj (company) have a lot of connections. The CEO is literally a millionaire, even a billionaire (idk). And then you have ran joo who has been forgotten for her behavior and vocal nodule. The only person on her side is mok ha, a woman that has lived on a deserted island for fifteen years and has a hard time adjusting to the world. No wonder they have a difficult time reaching that goal.

Eun mo rae's manager is as evil and manipulative as lee seo jun. He's blackmailing mok ha into shutting up and agreeing with everything he asked for appearing in heyday again.

I feel for both ran joo and mo rae because lee seo jun is only going to be profiting from them until they're no longer 'young and fresh'. He only describes them as 'cash cows'. He doesn't hold the same value he used to when he was a nobody and ran joo chose him as her new ceo. Money changes people and lee seo jun is a great example of that.

I was worried eun mo rae would just be a filler character but no, the show is giving us the whole backstory behind her career. I am sorry that she knows she was the second choice. If Mok ha was at seoul station to meet with ran joo, then eun mo rae wouldn't be where she is now. She must have a lot of pent up frustration and anger. She idolized ran joo when she was younger but now that she knows ran joo doesn't like her (for many reasons), the image she had of her idol is now broken (like her heart).

There are so any character relations and that's what makes the show good imo. Eun mo rae and ran joo's rivalry is interesting to see.

At this point, I just want bo geol to tell mok ha he is in fact ki ho because this whole back and forth between being caring and all of a sudden distant is tiring me out.

I know he's protecting both himself and mok ha from his father because, once the truth is out, there's no guarantee the boar (mr jung) will leave them alone. Ki ho has tried time and time again to escape from his father but he would be back with him because he is his father. No matter how ab*sive mr jung was, police would bring ki ho back to him because they're related. That's why he changed his entire identity. The psychological damage mr jung has put on the whole family is unfathomable.

Talking about mr jung, here's my theory on why he's obsessed with finding ki ho. So, as we know they were a family of four until the father hit woo hak (forgot his old name) on the head with a chair. The mother didn't leave woo hak for even a second (which is understandable of course). So that left ki ho and mr jung. Ki ho was the only one in the family brave enough to stand up to mr jung. Ki ho's brother and the mom were trying to appease the tension by lying to the father or agreeing with what he was saying in fear of being hit. I think ki ho being the youngest, his patience wasn't as strong as his momand brother's. He was the one admitting to wanting to run away from him. He was the one who said he'd be happier without his dad here. Ki ho got tired and he exploded purely and simply. Mr Jung was so used to everyone being obedient that ki ho's outburst was the final straw. Mr Jung took ki ho with him to chunsam island and that's where the real nightmare started (he was already living it before but in chunsam it was like the ultimate level). Ki ho had no one with him, no one to help him forget for even a second what was going on at home. He was alone. Even when he and mok ha got closer, he didn't confide in her. He kept everything in himself, because he knew the moment he talked his father would find out and make him pay for it. Ki ho is so strong for surviving all of this. He helped mok ha escape from her father, but he couldn't escape from his. Mr Jung won't stop until he finds ki ho, because he's the key to finding the mom and the brother.

The thing that's telling me ki ho and his father living on chunsam island happened after the chair incident is because when the father saw ki ho saved money to try and escape he said something along the lines of "Did you find her (the mom)? Is that why you saved all that money?" He wouldn't have said it if chunsam happened before seoul. Or maybe my brain is too tired and confusing a thing for another.

If the two previous points didn't make any sense to you, it's normal. When I'm trying to explain something that's deep and complex, I have a hard time finding the right words and writing coherent sentences. Sorry for that ehe.

Mok ha confronting eun mo rae was a sweet sweet moment. Both rivals finally meeting and mok ha not backing out. I'm proud of her. When nobody is on her side, mok ha proves she can take care of things on her own.

Bo geol being subtle about his way of helping mok ha is doing things to my heart 💓

this was a good episode, i'll give it a 8.75/10

[muppetmagic]

Hehehe. Hi. Saw your tags on my post and would love to hear your own headcanons for T1 Marty. It's an interesting one to ponder for sure!

*chuckles evilly* oh boy, of course!!! i truly end up headcanoning any character i like with t1 diabetes for the soul reasoning of 'well, SOMEONE has to!'

SO!! marty mcfly with type 1 diabetes! where do i even begin! well, i will say that as i am a bttf musical enthusiast, im mainly gonna focus on that instead of movies 2 +3, just because im not AS familiar with them as i am the first movie and a musical!

so, join me under the cut for a LOT of thoughts and headcanons...i have a lot to say lol like a LOT a lot...i apolgise lol

so, i think marty was diagnosed with t1 when he was around 9-10, and was doing ye olde pee-on-a-stick method of blood sugar testing, which was a super inaccurate way of doing it BUT it was either that of nothing in the mid-to-late 70's. he would have always been taking one injection of insulin and just praying it all worked out around that dkjdfjk ah, the joys of early diabetes treatment!

i like it think marty is like me in the sense that i naturally have blood sugars that tend to be on the higher side, and because it wasn't a thing to treat a high blood sugar with more insulin back then, it's why he took up skateboarding!! exercise gets that blood sugar down and his brother, dave, let marty use a skateboard that he had been gifted and never used. thus, marty started skating and just really fucking liked it!

as he got older and all that, and blood glucose monitors became a thing, AND marty became friends with doc, things did a pretty quick turn around in regards to how he treated stuff. doc would've gotten one look at the medieval torture device looking stuff marty was carrying around in his backpack and gone 'nope, i can make this a lot easier!' and basically invented a more modern version of a bgm - u prick ur finger with the lancet, put ur blood onto a calibrated strip into the machine and get a reading! although, i believe it would be less accurate for obvious reason. more likely that you'd either get a 'HIGH' 'LOW' OR 'REGULAR'.

in regards to insulin, as i mentioned earlier, marty would've been on one daily injection for most of his childhood. which is a real annoyance, bc it means ur meals have to happen at certain times with certain amount of carbs. by the time we meet marty in the movies/musical in 1985, he most likely would've just become aware of insulin pens - they legit came out that year lol BUT because i think doc is out here being a disability activist, marty might have received one a lil earlier and without the big ol' price tag attached to it lol so he would've been taking multiple injections a day by the time we meet him!

YES, i use doc as a scapegoat to give marty nicer treatment options!!! he deserves it!! if u have a friend who is a mad scientist, then of COURSE ur gonna abuse that to try and get new and improved and FREE medical equipment! so, i think marty has this stuff in his pockets alongside his walkman lol

i also think the reason marty is known to be as such of a slacker as he is is because besides all the sick days he would have taken, he's also known for sneaking out of class and/or showing up late to take his blood sugars or take his insulin.

the idea of marty having an insulin pump is also something i really like! again, i think doc was able to get his hands on one and rejigged it to fit into the shell of a walkman, which would be great for stealth lol. for me, this applies a lot more to my headcanons relating musical!marty. basically, i think movie!marty has insulin pens, and i think musical!marty has a pump. idk why, i just do djkdfkj i just think musical!doc would

SOOOO, marty in the 50's!! of course, we get marty on the hunt for ANYTHING to drink without sugar - and that's very relatable lol, again as someone with naturally higher blood sugars, i also tend to just find it 100 times easier to have low sugar options than use up SOOO much insulin! but in terms of how tf he's gonna make it thru a week when it comes to insulin, i think because he was meeting doc at the mall so early in the morning, he threw an extra vial or two in his pockets just in case. marty can never be too sure what's going to happen when he meets up w/ doc lol i also think musical!young lorraine would've been DEEPLY confused about what tf all this stuff attached to this boy she has straight up undressed is, and honestly she probably just ripped his infusion site straight out on accident so marty probably returned to injections anyways - but with is 80's sensibilities on how diabetes WORKS and how it's treated, he would've been pretty on top of everything. he would've just had to use those fugly giant syringes. flop!!

once returning to '85 in the new timeline, nothing would have changed w/ marty diabetes bc, well, he would've been diabetic anyways! his parents would be a lot more supportive, a lot bigger disabilitiy activists - i think george mcfly definitely has a diabetic character in his novels! and lorraine is on the pta board FIGHTING for the rights of disabled students BIG TIME, while in the og timeline i imagine they were very much in the mind set of not talking about marty's diabetes bc they saw it as shameful or somehow their fault. catch the mcfly family car having a bumper sticker that says 'someone i love has type 1 diabetes!'

so YEAH, i think that's everything that came to mind for me! musical!marty is defs more the muse of my diabetic headcanon, i think just bc im currently obsessed w/ it so im projecting onto him harder but, BASICALLY;

tl;dr: marty has t1, in the movie he uses insulin pens that he gets from doc, in the musical he uses an insulin pump that doc decked out to make a lot cooler and both verses use a blood glucose monitor that the doc made a lot more compact. ALSO, just for the hell of it - fuck it! jennifer is diabetic too! they knew each other from school but really met at the hospital while they were waiting for diabetes clinic appointments and they bonded lol!

[stinkyhyena9000]

Screw it, I'm forcing you all to listen to my video ideas. And by forcing you to listen, I mean allowing you to read at your own leisure. Please note that everything audio-wise and more will be spoiled.

So, the Mike music video was actually an idea from a very long time back, and only just thought of again due to a friend of mine *ahemhem* and yeah. Mike is a super funny guy, and I got the idea from this one edit for a game I can't seem to remember. It looks Sega-y idk. Anyways, the song used will be this the B52's cover of Bad Guy - Billie Eilish [ x ]. A silly song for a silly man.

So you're a tough guy Like it really rough guy Just can't get enough guy Chest always so puffed guy I'm that bad type Make your mama sad type Make your girlfriend mad tight Might seduce your dad type I'm the bad guy, duh -------------------------------

The Ash music video is based around my transfem headcanon of her, which is based off this one scene in Sing 1, where after auditions, Buster asks "which one is the girl" when trying to recruit Ash. I interpreted it as her struggling to pass. Yes, Lance does know shes trans and supports her. He's just a total douchebag. He's a dickbag, not a transphobe asdusahdsau. Anyways, the song being used will be Transgender Dysphoria Blues - Against Me! [ x ]. A song whose still I think fits her very finely.

Your tells are so obvious Shoulders too broad for a girl Keeps you reminded Helps you to remember where you come from

You want them to notice The ragged ends of your summer dress You want them to see you Like they see every other girl They just see a faggot They hold their breath not to catch the sick

Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone -------------------------------

The Marcus music video was an idea I got indirectly from a friend of mine, and will focus on the troubled relationship between Johnny and Marcus in Sing 1. The song would be Little Soldiers - The Crane Wives [ x ] In this context, the song details how he has always loved his son, even if there is a lot of trouble between the two of them.

On the broken backs of all the words we spared Like little soldiers in the trenches It was a march we made towards ruin and despair But we held hands all the while

I swear that I loved you I swear that I loved you I swear that I loved you I swear, I swear

Personally I think the next following set of lyrics fit more closely to the story here, but I wouldn't be able to make it outside of an AMV in my head.

(Btw the AMV in my head is Marcus returning to jail, and getting letters from Johnny while in prison)

-------------------------------

Buster dance comp is kinda self explanatory. Someone did request me to do it alongside the hop comp, but I opted not too due to the large ratio between dances and hops

-------------------------------

Okay so like, the Noodlemoon meme vid is basically me trying to take a crack at this one TikTok animation meme but without animating? I don't know how well it would go, but it's too cute not to give it a try! Here's an example of one of the meme! [ x ]. In here, Knuckles would be Buster, and Sonic would be Eddie.

Buster: I'm going to confess to you at the reopening! Eddie: Eh?! Buster: Will you be free after lunch? Eddie: Hm! (Yes) Buster: So be prepared! Eddie: Okay Buster: Why is your face all red? Eddie: Because you basically confessed Buster: Forget what I said

[notebookmusical]

Hi! Ya I was curious about the extra bonus track..but some people said it might just be a remix so I wasn't too sure about it. I like the color though and how it also matches one of her 1989 outfits on tour like people were saying. But I kinda wonder why she is doing so much for 1989..similar to Midnights with the extra bonus track and different covers..but I think she just wants it to be really successful over the original version. I may buy one for the car eventually but it also won't have the bonus song so idk. I loved her VMAS look and after-party look..and how she wore a dress similar to Sabrina's and hung out with Selena! I love that they're still close.

Ooh that concert should be fun and I'm happy you got tickets! Hopefully she works on stage presence too. The whole album has grown on me more..especially Get him back, but i have the same favorites. Ooh yes I am hoping to listen to Laufey, Mitski and Madison Beer soon. They all kinda have a slow style and almost old fashioned sound which I like. I would say it was true for Billie's other album as well if you listen to it. But Olivia's was actually more rockish lol...so I really just like it all.

I never saw Ride the Cyclone but have heard good things about it. I guess I'm not as familiar with some off Broadway stuff for the most part but that's cool. I hope we can both like Broadway again soon. But I see you watched the Little Mermaid movie and so did I! It's nice thinking we both did the same thing near each other like with the Eras tour..and hopefully with seeing the tour movie too. Anyway I thought it was mostly fine..but also good. But I mostly enjoy all the remakes..cuz I already know what I'm getting so I can't be too disappointed. But anyway..ya new songs sometimes always feel unnecessary anyway. I knew it was Lin beforehand but also you can always kinda hear Lin's style too so it's interesting you didn't know. But it was more obvious in Encanto than here. I'm still a fan of his though! But I will watch any musical movie and at least somewhat enjoy it lol. I am also using it as an opportunity to watch the Cinderella with Brandy and Bernadette Peters finally..and hoping to watch the new Theater Camp movie that's now on Hulu. I'm also looking forward to seeing her in the Color Purple movie when it comes out, since I thought she was a pretty good Ariel. What were your thoughts? I get the idea that ya it doesn't really need to be remade cuz we have stage versions too so sometimes it's just kinda okay..I think they're all pretty equal to me.

I'm glad you're feeling better! I wasn't feeling as well either which is why I didn't reply right away. But I've also more offline and trying to read more too. I will hopefully be done with Some Mistakes Were Made by the end of this week..maybe. since I am now trying to read more books in the readathon and focus on that. I will probably put The Night Circus in cozy fantasy then, and finishing up picking for the other categories. I don't really listen to audiobooks cuz I get too distracted or can't focus on it. It would have to be a good one too..a lot of the ones I'm familiar with is just like reading out loud so I don't usually listen to them..but i could see how it might make you enjoy the book more if the audio was good. I'm glad you are reading more books you enjoy and getting more done for the readathon. I will definitely look into any book you love or recommend! Have a good week!

hi hello!! i'm definitely curious to see what she ends up doing in terms of remixes for 1989 tv! and i've seen some theories about her alternating between not a lot of promo and then a lot of promo, which is cool — and would make sense with rep being an album with not a lot of promo which means (in my delusional brain) that debut would have a lotttt of promo !! i do not think that's true, but i would love it if debut finally got paid its dues. unfortunately, the different covers is just the norm now; i think sour & guts both had ~ 15/16 variants, most artists have at least 3 but a lot of them usually have more, it's just a marketing/sales thing, unfortunately. and yes!! i think it's so cute how close they are <3

i listened to the new laufey last week but haven't had time to relisten and so i do not have favorites for you yet! i've actually never listened to madison beer, but tiktok keeps pushing her on me so i might give her album a go soon! and the new mitski — i am just very behind on music lately (been listening to audiobooks instead) but i am very excited to give the new mitski a go! one of my best friends got to go to an early listening party in a planetarium for the new mitski, and that experience sounded SO cool. guts has definitely grown on me a lot more; i think i like it more than sour, but that might be recency bias.

i saw ride the cyclone twice in seattle, and it is just such a weird little musical that i love with my entire heart! i love odd little shows that just make me think, and ride the cyclone definitely is one of those shows. i'm seeing the national tour of hadestown in a few weeks which i'm super excited for; i've seen it on broadway twice, but missed the tour last year when they were in seattle (got into seattle and then found out they cancelled my performance twenty minutes before doors opened). and i just got tickets to go see a regional performance of the band's visit when i'm in boston this fall, so i'm super stoked! i hope you're also able to love broadway again soon 🤍

and yes!! i love that! 🥺 i think i was a little disappointed by the remake? i don't usually like remakes though (aside from live action cinderella). i really loved halle bailey as ariel, but was a bit let down by jonah h-k as eric (and sent my friend caitlyn several voice memos about how his eric reminds me of how he plays laurie in PBS little women) vocally but also just wasn't the biggest fan of his characterization/interpretation! i think the remake also just didn't do a whole lot for me, which is fine! the pacing felt very drawn out, i wish the costumes were a bit brighter in color, and i think some of the casting was interesting, but i really loved daveed diggs as sebastian! i haven't actually wanted encanto but i keep meaning to!

i'm SO excited for theatre camp! i think i'm watching it on friday with a friend; i love molly gordon, and will watch anything for her haha. the color purple remake looks so good, i saw a trailer of it when i watched barbie and it looks amazing!! in general though, i really have mixed feelings because i don't think everything needs to be a remake — i think some things work better as proshots vs. remakes, and sometimes i just get sad because there are perfectly good actors who can sing well that we can cast in musicals and a lot of remakes/movie musicals don't do that (this isn't about any cast/movie in particular, just an overarching generalization).

i hope you're feeling better!! i feel like everyone is getting sick/ill lately :( take care of yourself, friend! i haven't really been doing the readathon as much as i want to either — jamie and i were briefly talking about doing an october / nov / dec one instead (i have some prompt ideas, might just post them to encourage the besties to read more if people are interested)! do you have anything fun planned for this weekend? what are you currently reading/watching/listening? 🤍

[faithfromanewperspective]

so I was thinking about the ending to the last hours like many of us and I guess reading between the lines a little at how traumatic the london possession would've been, at how much james and cordelia need therapy and the way gracelet fiasco played into both their insecurities especially in their relationship, at how charlotte must've realised how much she didn't know and wasn't there for about both her sons, how when the shock of battle wore off for all of them there's going to be a lot of grief that will be very difficult and also new for all of them, how matthew is actually feeling things for the first time and in some ways so is james, and the way that in the 6 months between the coda and epilogue so much recovery must've gone on to get them to the place they can kind of go on with their lives, and also in some ways the 4 months between cog and coi, magnus being around also, would've helped prep them for this. some things stood out to me:

I've said it before but I don't think Christopher's unfinished business with Grace is realistically neatly wrapped up with him saying to believe in herself that one day in the lab--yes it allowed fire messages to succeed but one friend who was only in your life for a short amount of time doesn't undo the psychological impacts of a lifetime of abuse. I find the canon world of ghosts/afterlife so interesting as well and I can totally imagine Kit just being really curious to understand Tatiana with the way his mind works, then coming back 'a little bit' again and again to see Grace. He'd be having a great time learning things without the constraints of a human body and idk I want to write this so badly. We know his passion in life is helping others and I think he'd be thoughtful enough to give his friends some closure as well as meddling a bit to integrate Grace, check on Matthew and his siblings, etc. and I don't think this is outside the universe bounds as though Lucie couldn't reach him at first, ghosts take some time to rise whether they stay around or not (jessamine being a great example).

And another thing that really intrigues/concerns me is the possibility of Matthew living with rapid-cycling bipolar in an age and situation where the mental health services we have now are nonexistent and inaccessible. And we have in gotsm the way Jem and Tessa talk about him and remember the pain he went though when they talk with Mother Hawthorn in Buenos Aries--I think that just cements to me the obvious that his struggles don't just completely go away with being sober. But we know that he's brave and resourceful and has incredible people around him. I want to see how he does it, and what might be realistic there. We also have Tessa saying 'Fairchilds were always practical' after the bridge and yet Matthew is constantly described being 'ridiculous' and 'frivolous' with Tessa in The Midnight Heir saying James keeps him out of trouble. I think he's going to grow up and embrace his wild side (as we see him doing when he heads off on his travel year) but do so in a really practical way, because he needs wonder to regulate him: both to give inspiration and purpose to his energy and to ground him a little when he feels worthless. It's a lot for an 18-year-old to figure out but I think for many of us, he's a character that gives us hope and we see ourselves in him. We want and need and hope for him to succeed. Again, I would be honoured to write this, feed it off my experience and vice versa.

all I'm saying is do I feel a fic coming on? Maybe. I hope so. I think it could be a really healing thing to write as these characters I relate so much to have so much untapped potential that was possibly too heavy for a YA context but it sure was hinted at. so stay tuned, and feel free to nag me if you want to know if my head's still here in the future. time-pressed for my thesis rn but I've never been able to focus on what I'm supposed to, so anything is possible!

[sortasirius]

What the Fuck Happened to the SPN Finale?

Okay so here it is, my Charlie Kelly style manifesto.

Before I get into it, I recognize that I will look like this to many of you, and that’s okay, I understand:

Secondly, your personal Takes about the writers don’t interest me, I don’t need to hear them. This, as I’ll explain, is going to remain a writer positive blog, and that’s the end of it.

Third, and most importantly: some of what I’m going to talk about is fact, and some is highly educated speculation. I will notate what is speculation, just so there’s no confusion or hot takes in my inbox that I’m a conspiracy theorist or stirring shit up for no reason.

A list of what I’ll be discussing

The episode in regards to the rest of the season

The episode issues: length, editing

Scene placement and speculation of scenes cut

The scrubbing of Jack, Cas, Eileen

Network involvement and general timeline of when things were cut

Misha: theories on where he was, official company line, why we can’t expect to hear anything directly

The silence of the cast post episode (in Misha’s case, mid episode) and what this might mean

Jensen speaking with Kripke about the ending: why it doesn’t mean what you might think (also why kripke remained positive on the ending)

Walker, and why this episode had a major shift

Why the network would do this or get involved

Why the writers of the show simply aren’t the bad guys here, and what I “want” out of this post, since I know it’ll get asked

This is very long and under a cut, but I hope you’ll give it a read.

The Episode In Regards to the Rest of the Season

So, I’ve discussed this already here, but it’s the most obvious thing to me, and that’s the way this episode simply doesn’t fit with the rest of the season.

These people in this room have, truly, been nothing but consistent when it comes to their arcs, especially this season, and the marked dropoff in quality for the finale episode is just too sus to discount to me.  Dabb’s whole focus has been character-based.  In his seasons, we’ve moved far away from MOTW and bro-codependency, the found family taking it’s place.  Does it really sit right to anyone that that was all thrown away in literally the last episode of the entire show?

This is speculation on my part, but as a writer myself, there is no way I would be happy or willing to stamp my name on something that I didn’t think would, at the very least, wrap up the season+ character arcs that I and my team had been crafting.

And before anyone comes in here saying, “well GOT did that!”  Bruh.  The writing was on the wall for GOT long before the final episode.  You could tell that the showrunners just wanted to be done (not only from the plot, but from the fact that they lobbied for a shorter season).  Miss me with that, it doesn’t apply here.  Andrew has, besides Singer and J2, been with the show longer than anyone.  He cares, he is meticulous and detailed, and this ending feels worse than anything Bucklemming has ever written, let alone Dabb.

Additionally, I’ve seen a lot of people say that Dabb was never behind Destiel, that it was all Bobo and Meredith and no one else.  That is reductive to the point of insult of the work Dabb has done to get this greenlit.  This man did not write the s13 Dean grief arc to be slandered like this.  That being said, YES, Bobo and Meredith were the leads on the DeanCas arc this season, but ANDREW IS THE SHOWRUNNER, TO GET EVEN THE CONFESSION APPROVED BY THE NETWORK HE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE THEIR BACKS.  AND HE DID.

Finale Issues

So, now that we’ve gotten the fact that this episode doesn’t hit on any of the major themes the show was barrelling towards all season, let’s discuss the fact that the episode is just...weird.

Not only is it shorter than any other episode (I think with the intro and the credits/crew thing at the end, it was around 38 mins), but it was also...idk, 90% filler?

One of the lovely humans in the POLOL server did the legwork here, and broke it down:

This is weird, y’all.  Most series finales are LONGER than normal (Lost, SOA, Longmire are the ones I can think of off the top of my head), and for the final episode to be this?  I saw more than one person point out that we only really needed 19 episodes, what was the point of 20?  AND THAT’S EXACTLY IT?  WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS FINAL EPISODE IF THIS WAS ALL WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET?

It simply doesn’t make any sense, the first half of the episode was rushed, a final monster hunt gone wrong, but in the second half?  Nothing really happened?  Sam lived his entire life and Dean just drove around.  It doesn’t make sense to have all the emotional arcs left unaddressed in an episode that definitely needed some kind of spark.

Here’s the speculation I have: the episode seemingly went through a lot of changes between the initial inception of the final season and when we actually got it, but I think it would have been passable (as in, we wouldn’t be sitting here asking each other why each arc feels incomplete) until the editing room got ahold of it.  The only think that makes this episode make sense is network fuckery.  Truly, that is the only thing.  It explains the weird, cuts, the rushed pacing of the first half followed by nothing in the second half, the double montages of “Wayward Son” back to back, and Dean just...driving around for the last half of the episode.

Scene Placement and Speculation of Scenes Cut

Before I get into this section, the info of the shots in the episode I have come from a source that @occamshipper​ got a week or so before the finale.  She’s talked about this here.

So here’s what Min was given:

1-5: 1 INT MEN OF LETTERS – DEAN’S ROOM Dean is greeted by Miracle

6-10: 6 INT MEN OF LETTERS – HALLWAY/SAM’S ROOM Sam has his routine

D1 1 11-15: 15 EXT FARM HOUSE Establishing

N1 1/8 16-20: 19 Dad’s journal, marker, drawing of masked man in journal.

21-25: 23 INT IMPALA – PMP Driver picks the music

N2 1 3/8 1,2 26-30: 28pt2 INT BARN: A face from the past

28pt3 Sam and Dean say goodbye

28pt4 Shot early for technical reasons, presumably the overhead shot

N2 31-45: 41 INT MEN OF LETTERS – SAM’S ROOM Sam’s alarm goes off D4 1/8 1 46-60: 56 INT N7glasses for Sam, laptop.

So...it all fits right?  It all tracks with the actual episode, where it lands, etc.  The issue is between shots 29-40 which were apparently “too big to spoil.”  Uh.  Where are they?  And where’s 28 pt4?

After Dean dies, the next scene is Sam burning him, then shot 31, the shot of his alarm going off.

So.  Where are those 11ish shots?

PLUS we have the boards, which are scenes we KNOW were actually shot:

As well as scenes for 20 that were shot in 19.

It’s just...weird, it’s weird and again hits on the fact that the episode is so short and like 80% montage.

The Scrubbing of Jack, Cas, and Eileen

So now we have to reckon with the fact that Eileen was last mentioned by Sam after she got snapped by Chuck, Jack’s last mention is that he’s off being God somewhere, and Cas’ last mention is a ~knowing look~ between Dean and Bobby.

I’m sorry, make it make sense:

????????  That’s the end if it?  They don’t need to be discussed after this???  It’s just simply not something a writer would do, they would not introduce these characters, these arcs, without thinking there’s going to be some kind of follow through here.

So not only were three major characters (including two leads and both of the original characters’ love interests) completely wiped from the finale episode, it was as though Sam and Dean never even needed them, which just...ain’t it.

So why Eileen and Jack too?  Why not just take Cas out of it if they were afraid of the gay?  Because, ultimately, the episode went back to Kripke’s original story: just the bros, they only need each other and no one else.  They don’t want anyone else, they don’t need anyone else.  Easier to go back to something they knew was successful than trust the writers and their audience and take a big leap.

Alex even said he shot for 20 with “some of the guys” here.  What happened to that footage?

The complete 180 of it all still shocks me, I still cannot believe that we were essentially at the finish line, and the network just stopped short, and decided to go run another race, at the expense of the arc of this fifteen year legacy show.

Network Involvement and When Things Were Cut

Okay, now into the juicy stuff.

So I’ve pretty well established that network fuckery is clear, but how much did they get involved, what was the original intent?

Well again, we may never actually know what Andrew’s original script was, but I think, at the least, it would involve Dean speaking his truth to Cas and Sam living a life with Eileen.

Now, it seems today, that Misha said that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale in one iteration of the script, and while initially my brain was like “that truly makes no sense and he’s either straight up lying or telling a half truth,” I think what may be happening is Misha talking about as much as he can right now.

So Jimmy right.  Weird as fuck.  Why would he been in the Roadhouse and not Cas?  My current thought (this is about as reachy as I’ll get) is that Jimmy had no lines, could he have been in the Roadhouse as a red herring, like it said “Jimmy” in the script but it was just Cas in human clothes, a way to get around the network saying Cas couldn’t be in the final scene.  Also, you’ll notice that Misha didn’t say that Cas wasn’t supposed to be in the ep at all, just Jimmy in the last scene.

All this to say, there have clearly been multiple versions of the script, getting lighter and lighter with Cas and Eileen as the network pulled further and further back.  Remember, Dabb has to get things approved before they get shot, and if the network kept asking and asking and asking to cut Cas and Eileen, he had to find a way to work around it.  Granted, I still think that if we had been able to get a Dabb script that wasn’t torn to shreds in editing, it wouldn’t be so bad.  It may not be what a lot of us wanted (Dean speaking his truth to Cas and a reciprocation), but doing everything he could to give it to us in subtext or visual clues.

Plus, in all honesty, my man can’t keep his story straight anyway.  He said twice in his panel that the Empty and offscreen Heaven ending weren’t his original ending either.

In addition, remember that Jensen did ADR post episode 18, AND said in a meet and greet last weekend that Dean’s reaction to Cas’ confession was “cut down.” (Source here).  Many of us clowns got excited when we first heard about ADR, because we thought it would be upping the ante on Dean’s reaction, but I remember being a little sus when it was just crying.  My speculation on that is that they cut out Dean actually SAYING something, @winchestersingerautorepair​ spoke about that here.

The biggest sins were, in my opinion, committed during editing, where the network got too gun shy and sliced the episode until it was nothing but a heartless bro-fest of a finale, not mentioning anything about the other major characters that we all love, and letting the boys just suffer in separation until Sam died and finally joined Dean in Heaven.  The editing came by cutting all the major emotional beats between anyone other than Dean and Sam, leaving the skeleton of the story intact, just shorter and less...poignant than it was ever supposed to be.

Misha

We know Misha was in Vancouver, we know he quarantined, but we also know he wasn’t in the final scene, when he spoke about being in the last moment of the show months ago.  We were not crazy, he was there, he quarantined, and, in all likelihood (speculation but fitting with the timeline), he actually may have shot something (not much, but something).

I have sources here, here, here, and here showing where Misha was at that time.

Remember, the man was completely open about coming back until they finished shooting (look at this thread).  The switch happened, just like everything else, halfway through them shooting.

Please also remember Jake Abel posting his “Where’s Misha” video here.  Jake isn’t malicious, he isn’t being nasty here.  Misha was there, and everyone that’s trying to convince people he’s wasn’t just...isn’t telling the truth about it.

This is one of the things that makes me really mad, because they’re literally attempting to gaslight people into thinking, “oh we were totally wrong he was never supposed to be there” WHEN HE WAS THERE, WE KNOW HE WAS THERE.

So we’ve already heard from several people (Meghan Fitzmartin, Jay, a PA on the set of 19 (WHO WAS NOT WORKING FOR 20), Misha himself) that this was all down to Covid restrictions.  Ultimately, as this post says, we’ve heard FIVE versions of where Misha was.  None of it makes sense, but the Covid protocol seems to be the company line that others are repeating.

You may ask: why?  Why lie to all of us when we have questions?  Why, in Jay’s case, say that we’re all spreading false lies to stir up trouble, when we just have questions and things that do not make sense.  Simply?  Warner Brothers is absolutely massive.  These people have their careers to protect and are likely all under NDAs.  They want to work for WB again and don’t want to burn bridges, including Misha.  It sucks, but that’s why it’s unlikely that we’ll hear someone come out and say, “yeah we’re lying to you.”

Silence of the Cast Post Episode

So this is...probably the worst part of all this, at least in my opinion.

The guys had all been pretty excited about the end of the show (especially Jared, but Jensen’s panel last week was Jensen as happy and jokey and positive as I’ve ever seen him.  He was so excited about episode 18, about what it meant for Dean and for Cas, and I just cannot buy that he would have been that excited unless he thought there was something more in the episode.

Misha live-tweeted the episode, and was watching it with his kids.  It’s well known that Misha and the kids don’t watch the show because it’s too scary, and let’s ask ourselves, why would he have them watch an episode that he’s barely even mentioned in?

He also stopped live-tweeting at a very specific point in the episode (Dean’s death) and has not mentioned Supernatural since then. 

None of them, not Jared, Jensen, Misha, or even Alex, said anything about the episode for nearly 36 hours, when Jensen posted a salty photo on instagram.  It’s just...not what you’d expect for the end of a 15 year show, when the cast and crew are so close to the fans, so close to each other. 

My theory?  They didn’t know.  They thought Misha was, at least, going to be in the episode in some way, and when he wasn’t, they decided not to say anything.

You really think that Jensen “Heller” Ackles would have been so excited about the end of the show last week if he thought Cas wasn’t going to be in it at all?  Nah son, doesn’t make any sense.

Even today, in Jared and Misha’s panels, they seemed sad and...more than a little careful, both saying that there were things they couldn’t say, both talking around things that we all have questions on.

Jensen Speaking with Kripke

So this is where a lot of people are getting fodder to take shots at the writers, saying that Jensen hated it from the beginning, but I don’t think so.  I actually think I know what Jensen went to him about, and it wasn’t the lack of Cas or the weird pacing or the montages (which I don’t think were there when Jensen got the script); I think it was the manner of Dean’s death.

I know a lot of people were upset about that, upset with how...normal it was, coming off an episode where they literally beat God.  I actually didn’t mind it, I thought it was an interesting thematic take to be like: you can be a hero all your life, but sometimes shit happens, and you just die.

But imagine how hard that was for Jensen to read.  He would run to Kripke for that, because for him, Dean dying by being impaled by a piece of rebar had to be tough to swallow.

So, why didn’t Kripke say that?  Why didn’t he say, “oh well he had a problem with Dean’s death, none of that other stuff was in the script.”

Guys.  Why would he get involved?  He’s not going to burn bridges any more than anyone else is.  He said the ending was good because it’s the easy thing to do, it’s simple, will cause him no problems in his career, and he can just ignore the people trying to engage with him on it.

Walker

Something else to talk about is the major shift this episode had from the rest of the season: the shift from Dean to Sam.  I am NOT saying that Sam isn’t important, he definitely, absolutely is, but it was DEAN who really needed to wrap up his arc, Sam just needed to move on, get married to Eileen, become the leader he was always meant to.  So what changed?  What was with the shirtless scene, the Austin number and random case there, most of the episode being heavily Sam focused, going through his entire life in a montage?

Anyone else notice the 375 Walker promos, or Jared’s little spiel about Walker and how he hoped SPN fans would “come along for the ride.”

It’s...kinda obvious?  CW wanted to appeal to who they think the key demographic of SPN and Walker is: rural areas in the South.  It would explain a lot, why so much editing, why so Sam focused, the Austin number, the number of Walker promos, all of it.

I’m not saying this is fact, I don’t know that it is, but it is a little suspicious that even in Jared’s panel today, he talked A LOT about Walker and how he hopes SPN fans will watch it.

Why Would the Network Get Involved?

Simply put: $$$

If they think Walker can be the new SPN, and that those crazy SPN fans liked it originally, it’s a lot safer to go with the “original intent” of the show than do something risky (like making one of your two original leads queer).

And?  They don’t care.  They don’t care that the episode didn’t make sense, they don’t care that all the emotional arcs were left hanging, they don’t care by (potentially) smashing together two of Dean’s monologues (one to Sam, one to Cas) that it came of as...gross. ( @curioussubjects​ wrote a beautiful post showing how part of that death speech was likely meant for Dean here).  They don’t care, they never have, they just want to make their money and move on from the too-loud fandom that fought for representation too hard for too long.

It can’t help but feel insidious, which, honestly, it might be, but it really all comes down to the next cash cow, which, they think, is Walker, even at the cost of the fifteen year legacy show.

The Writers and What I Want

So here it is, all this weird, sus shit laid out on the line.  And you know what?  To me, there is no way to blame the writers, because they didn’t want this.

I don’t think Dabb and Bobo would have gone ahead with the confession in 18 without thinking that there would be some closure to that arc, they wouldn’t have done that not only to the fans, but for the sake of their own story as well: no writer wants to start something that they can’t finish. (And this applies to both Cas and Eileen).

Here’s a basic rundown of what I think happened: they had a clear arc from 18-20, ending in reciprocation at some level from Dean, Sam marrying Eileen, Hunter Sam as the new Bobby, Dean in heaven with Cas and big roadhouse reunion at the end. Covid prevented a good amount of that. Network had to stare at big gay 18 for six months, got cold feet. Thought about Walker, target audience and alienation of the rural areas if it went full gay. Misha quarantined and likely shot something (not much), he was then cut by execs and went home. They likely added in lines referencing Eileen and Cas to make it clear but more subtextual. They wrap, editing gets it and hacks it to pieces, so we get a shorter episode that’s mostly montages and jarringly bro-centric with nothing else. Arcs are left hanging. Dabb gets episode but it’s too late, there’s nothing he can do. Actors aren’t told so they can continue to do positive PR for the ending, they all found out at the same time we did: hence almost complete silence about the finale.

And you know what?  They warned us.  I talked about it here, but they’ve been telling us all season that Chuck wasn’t the writer, he’s the network.  I don’t think, still, that they thought it would be cut up like this, into something so unsalvageable that it’s been panned by almost everyone, even people who didn’t care much about Dean and Cas.

Finally, a masterpiece can be ruined by editing, and while I’m not sure even the script they ended up shooting on was a masterpiece (due to the network meddling already), but to me it’s blatantly obvious that it’s no one but the network that caused this, that took away closure for Dean, Cas, and even Sam.

So what do I want?  Nothing really, there’s nothing we can do, but I wrote this mostly to show people that the writers are not your enemy.   In fact, to the people trashing them?  You’re doing exactly what the CW wants you to: blame the obvious targets, blame Misha, blame Jensen and Jared, blame Dabb.  Scream and yell at them on Twitter and about how the show is ruined because of them.  The network keeps their engagement levels high, they don’t get as targeted for their behavior, and just keep moving along.

Just, please, think about who did this,  Mourn the show, be angry, but not at the people who fought tooth and nail for this for literal years, not the people who wanted it more than we did, not the people who cannot say anything because of their careers and the NDAs they’re bound by.

Someone is going to spill eventually, but until then, we just have to wait, and continue to be loud.

[lwt28brave]

LT2 masterpost

If it was up to me, we would get an autumn or winter EP. Since it’s not up to me at all, here, enjoy this post with everything we know so far of LT2, which is to say, not much at all. Everything here is hypothetical. I’ll be updating every time I see something relevant. A little disclaimer that while this is a masterpost (kinda), it could be read as discourse (duh, it’s also a theory), AND it’s also by me, and you shouldn’t expect me to be serious at this point.

Due to me restraining myself, there’s no reference to any of the times he’s mentioned his guitar skills and him improving but I hope you know I cried every single time.

I’m also linking my old pinned here. It was written before AFHF and around the free merch thing that didn’t lead to much, but I still think I made some good points.

Possible tracks:

Copy of a Copy of a Copy

Change

Faith in the future??

369??

Possible names:

369

Faith in the future

When is the album coming out?

Your guess is as good as mine

Friday 28th of January 2022. Almost two years after Walls. It’s a Friday. It’s a 28th. What else can I say?

Here you can find @want-to-be-loved timelines for every month.

Here you can find @berlinini’s timeline of what Louis has been up to this year (2021).

The rest is under the cut. And here you can find a PDF version where Tumblr can't tell me how many pictures I can add.

2020

He said back on May 2th 2020 he wasn’t writing anything new yet.

(x)(x)(x)

Interestingly enough, he’s said many times after that that the album’s not ready cause he has no new experiences to drawn from. I won’t call him out because he does it himself.

May 4th. He liked a tweet from DMA’s Johnny Took saying they had to go write together again. Louis has been credited as an influence for them and (kind of) participated in their previous record, so I’m assuming he meant for their music and not his, but you never know.

Nothing(literally nothing??? how did we survive) until 11th of July. We all know what happened that day. We all celebrated it. Nonetheless, that’s not what I’m talking about here.

(x) So, by the beginning of July 2020 he was working on concepts and ideas for the new album. That was fifteen months ago. I know perfection takes time but…

Brief summary of important things that happened from then until the next mention of new music:

Louis left Syco!!!! 10 days later he rescheduled the tour for the first time. He followed Matt Vines on Twitter, probably so we could publicly shame him into doing something. Also, the 10thanniversary. He followed more people I wish he hadn’t.

Then more nothing until September. Not even a single tweet. The first merch drop was on the 28th of August but he just RT’ed the tweet. He first mentioned Free my Meal on the 25th of September. Then on October 1st Walls hit #1 on a lot of countries and Louis was incredibly happy and excited about it ^^

And then, that same day, October 1st, 2020, he dropped this bomb:

(x)

He also said it was too soon to be sharing new lyrics with us (x)

And, obviously, this tweet which is actually what made me start this whole post. I would hope you know mate.

(x)

He also told us he was cooking "banger after banger" and that he was incorporating more social themes into his music (x)(x) (I believe any social issue is a political issue but that’s not the point rn).

COPY OF A COPY OF A COPY?!?!

These next paragraphs are brought to you by my mind not remembering things and me not having any links. I’m assuming COACOAC came from those writing sessions that supposedly happened in October. Or in LA but I have no idea if he actually was in LA at any point other than a Daily Mail article putting him there on December which would have been too late, but I do remember that someone said he was in the studio in LA last autumn???? A rumor. Maybe. IDK. Did I mention already all of this is very hypothetical?? Well, this is it. I can’t even remember if this was October or November or what. So, take this with a grain of salt.

I’m also… taking the liberty to assume, if you must, that Copy wasn’t meant to be a Walls reject because it sounds more mature and darker and it has a vastly different tone that Walls songs. I know he’s said that song probably isn’t getting into the album, but I want to have faith (in the future) that I’m getting a studio version. (But also, Louis, if you’re reading this, first of all GET OUT OF MY BLOG second of all, please don’t ever feel pressured again to add a song to the album because we have already heard it before. It’s your art and it should always be under your own terms).

So yeah, I believe that Copy is either one of those four songs (then imagine the other three??!!) or was written around the 1st of October date.

---End of the Intermission---

Then not much important (other than sharing more about Marcus Rashford fight against food poverty and the 2nd merch drop) until he announced the livestream on the 24th of November. (x)

It wasn’t until a few days before the livestream date we even thought again about new music (jk, I know we’re always thinking about new Louis’ music). So, December 9th/10th, 2020. Nine months ago. We got our first taste of new music!

He made sure we knew Copy of a Copy of a Copy isn't a cover! (x) (x)

(x)

Ok, so that’s it for 2020. (I feel like I’m missing something from September 17th because tweet was deleted but maybe he was still talking about cucumbers. We might never know. Unless I understand how Tumblr tags work). Expected, cause Walls was released in 2020. We needed to let it sit for a while.

2021

Another Summary: Louis third tweet of the year was telling the UK government off. So was the fifth. What a good beginning. On the 26th of January, he said he prefers pancakes over waffles. I hope he meant pancakes other than his own. More importantly, he tweeted the infamous “you lot read into things too much”. Don’t get me started, Tomlinson. Don’t. Then the 31st came around and Walls was one. He tweeted this. How wise. And Project Defenceless happened!!

15th of February!! Who cares about Valentine Day when the next day we got this? ♥

(x)

(x)

So…AN EP?? AN EP?? PLEASE RELEASE AN EP.

“I’m sure I will have something out this year but unlikely that will be the album”. Unlikely but not impossible. Also. A single would be good. This is the second time he mentions releasing something in 2021 and he sounds surer about it than the first time around.

He also said that he isn’t sure we will get a studio version of Copy. And that the best bridges from Walls to LT2 are Walls, OTB, KMM and Copy. Can’t wait!

Then we jump to March 6th when he announced he was going to create his own management company. “Sometimes action is needed first to encourage the motivation and belief”. As we can tell he was already manifesting some stuff which will lead us to the numerology stuff/Tesla… kidding. Or not. We might never know.

On the 22nd of March he answered some questions:

He told us music was still his main focus ♥ mwha. (x) I included this tweet to guilt-trip him into giving us music in case he’s reading this even after I told him to leave. ILY.

(x) I’d love to get a visual EP this autumn. Just saying. It sounds like a lovely concept.

(x)

…next (I will get into it, I promise. I’m just mad).

On the 25th he left for Mexico until April 10th. You could assume it was just for the documentary where we got ten seconds of footage or admit the obvious: LT2 its a Mexican baby!!

On the 26th (so, not so far apart from that first 369) we got the first Faith in the Future mention: (x)

Back then we were innocent people who had no idea what was coming upon us. We still have no idea because what the fuck does he mean with these. Please explain. I have one braincell and I don’t use it enough for this. I’m linking some theories.

On the 30th of March he confirmed he was already working on the documentary. So AFHF was already on the works. Will it take this long for us to get the Veeps numbers? We also got this tweet: "Got a decent chorus idea down" (x).

Same person that got the “something out this year” exclusive. If you know something share with the class. Also. Is this Change? I feel like this could be Change but I also assume he wrote Change after hanging out with his friends or being in Doncaster. But who knows.

(x) And the second mention to 369.

(x) 15th of April. The second "Faith in the future".

On the 19th of April he announced that he had something BIG for us later on the year which turned out to be the Away From Home Festival ♥♥ (x) I love him so much.

Then on the 28th he announced the 369 merch drop (which it’s probably the Walls drop? Except that the TOU and KMM ones were “drop 1 and drop 2” and this was drop 369 which, again, makes no sense) but we still don’t know what 369 means.

Into May’ 21 we go.

He rescheduled tour again. And dropped another bomb (x).

He announced he has signed with BMG as an independent artist by RTing this tweet on May 10th. The article also says that he’s already working on writing and recording LT2. The timing… we don’t know. What this deal involves… we don’t know either. Bear with me here because I have a lot to say about this.

I think the deal is only a distribution one, but that BMG are interested in Louis and what he (us) could bring to the table. They were either present at the festival or watching it, but officially they had no involvement at all with it (everything is credited either to Louis own company, 78 Productions, or Charlie Lightening’s company). That’s the case for both giveaways too; the vinyl one and the tickets for the festival.

I think it would be an unbelievably bad move not to test the waters with BMG now or soon-ish. At least a single, to see how it performs. Due to the circumstances, it’s obvious there’re certain limitations on place but I want to see how they push it, whether the radio play exist this time around and if the song is playlisted and promoted and all that… I would also love to know, since it says he signed with BMG UK, but it also states it’s a global deal, how things are going to go on the US and other countries.

Yes, yes. I know those are all questions and no answers. But I know the same as you, sadly. If any of you know more than you’re letting on… again, share with the class.

Where was I? Yes, on the 25th of May Louis had a great day writing (x). Since the first time he had mentioned he was officially writing to this date there’s almost eight months. And I believe he was writing before October’ 20.

He followed Robert Harvey that day and, on the 28th of May (why is it always the 28th???) he was spotted at the studio for the first time.

June was an interesting month for the fandom ♥. Lots of LHL content which I will love and cherish for the rest of times. On June 4th, June 9th, and June 10th he was spotted at the studio, but I believe he was there more days.

(x)

This was posted on June 6th and captioned Studio. Charlie also shared it with “Mega tunes being put down, can’t wait for this @louist91 #louistomlinson #LT2” as the caption. This gives me 2019 (Elton-Joint) vibes. I like it. Feels like we’re getting closer to something.

He added the Milano date on the 9th too which I’m mentioning because I’m going alone. Anyone wanna go with me please? I’m nice and I never eat anything before a concert so you can have my food. On other news. It didn’t come home.

During July he was at the studio at least three days too. Probably more. Feels like more with all the fan pictures we got. Or was that June? Anyway, July 1st and 9th we got some videos from Robert Harvey and wearesuperhi, which is who Louis has been working with the most, that we know of. I don’t know for sure they’re from that day. And on July 5th we got an article and lots of pictures of Louis looking really good outside the studio.

On the 12th of July the first fans started getting the free, 369 bucket hat and print. We still don’t know what the purpose was other than to thanks fans. Maybe that was it. I want answers and I still think it relates to a future project (see theories above), but it could also just be a bridge with the Walls breaking.

He didn’t tweet about anything interesting for a while, mostly because he lost his phone (he either throwed it in the air or smashed it who knows). Then on the 29th of July he announced the festival!

I’m glossing over it because there’s already been a lot of talk about it (rightfully) and while it was a wonderful thing, it doesn’t have much to do with LT2.

Let’s talk Change!

On August 3rd he tweeted this about the setlist.

(x)

And this (x) on the 28th! I can’t stand him.

We didn’t get it, obviously. Because who was going to get that. But we read too much into things. Alright.

On the 16thof August Dave Gibson shared this post tagged #LT2 with the eyes emojis 👀👀👀. I believe this has to do both with Change but also with whatever else came out of that Mexico trip.

(x) Last relevant tweet related to LT2 is this one.

So, on the 30th of August we got Change and we cried, and we know that Change is going in the new album. He said it. With those exact words. He also said he was “getting a feeling for it”. This has to meant he already has a general idea of the vibe of the new album and what’s going in it!!!!!! (Right? RIGHT?).

Anyway, let’s go back a few weeks because some other things happened on August. He was at the studio a few more times. Or it was suggested that he was there. On the 17th and the 18th. (Why was it so time-pressing to be at the studio instead of rehearsing for the festival? There was no studio at all on the documentary. Which makes sense, but again, then why?).

On the day of the festival we got another mention of Faith in The Future that made me feel part of a cult ngl. The words were flashing on the screen for less than a second. Okay.

And then he tweeted those words again after watching the livestream/documentary on the 4th of September (x). This is what makes me suspect it's either the name of the album or of the single.

On the same day, we got some interesting quotes about LT2 on the documentary.

“Soon I’ll have to think about me second album, which in my head I’ll get the tour out of the way and then I’ll address that. So, I hadn’t really given it much thought, to be honest”.

“When every day is the same is hard to feel creative and it’s hard to have any kind of proper inspiration”.

“As season started to come back, I started writing again and it was great and some of these songs turned out alright”.

And I think this is it. I might be overlooking some important details but that’s what we know and what we don’t know.

So. Conclusions. That’s what you missed on Glee. I do believe the album is, if not mostly done, partially there. And yes, this post is pointless and never-ending but it’s all in here if you need to tell Louis “Hey, you said this, mate”.

[slightlymore]

fragment

part of the ‘almost’ collaboration hosted by @hyucksie

final part of the 'soulmates collection' 

doyoung x fem reader | 10k

genre: greek mythology retelling (selene and endymion), abstract historical setting, astrology, astronomy, magic/fantasy, romance, !angst!, smut, fluffy notes 

warnings: swearing, alcohol, explicit sexual content +18 (no hardcore raunchy stuff because it didn’t fit the vibe but highly erotic scenes), bad ending, major character sad situation (not death but similar, idk how to explain without spoiling lol), overall mature themes 

other characters: ten as doyoung’s brother, kun only mentioned 

playlist:  - Moon | Jonghyun - Sun&Moon | NCT 127  - Mystery lover | Taemin  - End to start | NCT 127 

__________ A sigh. 

It was a little and delicate sound, almost inaudible. But Doyoung could hear it so well. 

It was the only thing his mind could focus on besides the soft feeling under his fingers. 

He exhaled too but he couldn’t make sense of his own voice and he didn’t want to when there was this other one he so dearly wanted to hear instead. 

He wanted it to become louder and louder. He wanted to bathe in the smoothness of that voice forever. 

“I just think you need to get laid, that’s all,” Ten smirked before his tongue could make an appearance through his plush lips. It licked one of the grapes he was holding to his mouth and chuckled at Doyoung’s disgusted expression. 

“You’re always on that bullshit. I don’t even know why I keep telling you stuff.” The man commented. 

Ten, previously lying down on the single wooden bench inside the observatory, sat up with a roll of the eyes. His fluffy hair bounced around his forehead at his movements and his smile was wicked.

“If you keep having wet dreams, it means that you’re in need for some, so you should go and get it, brother.” 

Doyoung sighed and placed his papers down, unable to understand what he was trying to do with moving them around in the first place. 

“The thing is-,”

“Yeah I know,” Ten interrupted him, “you only have sexy dreams in the observatory like a freak. Kun said it’s because you’re exhausted and your mind is more prone to let your deepest desires-”

“Wait. You told Kun about my dreams?” 

If Ten got jumpy because of Doyoung's sudden loud voice, he concealed it well. 

“We talk about unconsciousness all the time,” the boy explained relaxedly. “I think you should come too sometimes. You can let out some of your, uhm, frustration,” he wiggled his eyebrows as he took a few steps separating himself from Doyoung’s desk. 

Doyoung shrugged to make Ten take off the hand from his shoulder. “I am a scientist, not a philosopher or whatever you guys like to call yourselves.” 

“Well I am sorry that scientists don’t fuck and we do.” 

Ten ran out of the observatory with a giggle before he could be hit in the head by Doyoung’s telescope. 

______

Doyoung has always imagined meeting his soulmate in a very romantic environment. 

He was not an extremely romantic person, but since it was still a soulmate talk, he imagined at least a few shy smiles and a kiss on the hand, not a scream and his cock in his fist instead.

He was the first to scream as he turned around at the sound of rustling leaves.

You screamed too but only because he screamed so loudly in the silence of the night that the dormant birds flew away from the trees. 

Then you yelped again when your eyes fell to the man’s crotch.

“Oh my God, I am so sorry!” you hid your face with your palms and it felt boiling under your fingertips. 

The young man felt paralyzed and his first thought was that he wouldn’t have been able to touch himself anymore because of the shame. 

He breathed out once after finally putting away everything that had no business to be seen and cleared his throat. 

You had turned around in the process and Doyoung looked at your back for a moment before finally speaking. 

“Hey. Why are you wandering at night like this?” 

“Uh-” you put away your hands but didn’t dare to face him. “I couldn’t sleep and decided to come out for a bath,” you explained. “My lord,” you quickly added. 

“How did you get here? This property is owned by my astrology professor.” 

“That would be my father, sir. I live-” you lifted one arm and indicated the tower behind the garden, “-there.” 

Doyoung followed your finger with his eyes then took in your figure yet again. 

“You can turn around. I have no intention of hurting you.” 

You did as he told you and you were pleasantly surprised to see him as flustered as you were. “I’m sorry I startled you, sir.” 

The young man shook his head. “I have to apologize. It was highly inappropriate of me to do that in public.” 

“Well, no one was here to see, sir.” 

“You were here. And don’t call me sir, just call me Doyoung.” 

You smiled timidly and took a few steps towards the lake, nodding. “Then it’s nice to finally meet you Doyoung.” 

The man opened his lips for a second but you spoke on top of him. 

“Oh, my father speaks so highly of you every day,” you dipped one foot inside the calm water and Doyoung noticed for the first time what you had no shoes on. “He laughs at you for wanting to call yourself an astronomer instead of an astrologer but he also praises you a lot. My dad is an open-minded man. Sometimes I feel like he loves you more than he loves me.” 

Doyoung stared at your ankles then calves as you gently moved your toes inside the water. 

Your tone was light and nonchalant but he could sense the light layer of bitterness on it. 

“I’m sure that’s not the case.” 

You tilted your head to the side at his words and smiled again, the white and thin nightgown you were wearing almost touching the water too. Then you gathered the material around your waist and taking it off, you threw it on the shore near Doyoung’s feet. 

He gasped. 

“What are you doing?” he asked with a trembling voice, shocked to see your suddenly naked back getting swallowed by the shining darkness of the lake. 

“I told you, I came here for a bath,” you chirped back as if it was an appropriate answer. 

Turning around towards him you noticed that he caught a glimpse of your chest before he looked away in the distance. 

His adam apple travelled up and down distressed and even in the darkness you could see his neck and face redden up. 

You smiled again and crouched down, letting the water get to your chin and hide your curves from his eyes. 

“What would my father say if he knew I’m here naked in front of you now?” 

“Hm, he would probably kill me,” he replied sincerely. 

You let out a bright laugh. “Don’t worry. He won’t do it. If he doesn’t know.” 

He closed his mouth and you noticed the little smile trying to bloom on his lips as you exchanged a longer look than intended. 

Then he looked away and cleared his throat. 

“Then I’ll leave for now and I’ll come back when you’re done bathing,” he suddenly got up and patted his ass trying to clean his slacks of any dirt. 

“Aren’t you here to stare at the moon?” your voice stopped him from walking away. 

You were looking at him, gently swimming backwards. “Stay. I won’t bother you.” 

Doyoung sighed and after a moment of uncertainty, he moved back slowly and sat down again. 

You closed your eyes, letting the water lull you slowly. 

For the first time in weeks, the young man didn’t look at the moon once. 

__________

“What are the results for tonight?” you leaned in to read Doyoung’s notes, your gown collecting the drops of water falling on your body and making it difficult for the man to look away. 

You started to come out every night, the sound of your footsteps arriving to Doyoung’s senses first then your scent.

The results for that night were that Doyoung absolutely loved breasts and that he absolutely needed to touch himself or he might go insane. 

“The moon got smaller as predicted and it had the same course on the sky as usual.” 

You chuckled. 

“Well, of course. What would Selene do otherwise? Wander around?” 

Doyoung bit his lower lip as he would do when listening to your father teach him about astrology and deities. It was obvious that you would have his beliefs about the moon too.

“Well, she could, couldn’t she? Since she’s a goddess,” he played along. 

You sat near him and patted your neck with one end of your gown fabric. “She can technically walk away. But only to places where her presence is needed. And she goes away once every cycle to sleep.” 

Doyoung put away his papers and leaned back on his elbows, suddenly very amused. 

“Selene needs to sleep?” 

You noticed the almost mocking tone in his voice and smiled. “Of course she does. She obviously sleeps during the day just like Helios sleeps during the night but she also needs a full recharge once every cycle.” 

“You know a lot about her. Do you also know why she shrinks every night? Is that to show that she’s getting tired?” 

You chuckled at his theory but nodded. “Exactly. And after sleeping she grows bigger and bigger.” 

Doyoung hummed pensively and his eyes fell on your spine. “Wouldn’t it make sense if she came back full after recharging? Instead, she comes back small. The process makes no sense.” 

He raised his eyes to meet your gaze and you noticed the way his fingers twitched as if he forced himself to still his hand and not touch your skin. 

“There are so many things that make no sense,” you whispered.  

The man tilted his head to the side at your words and you let yourself down on your back, your eyes drinking in the stars above you. 

“Like what?” 

“Love?” 

Doyoung imitated your position and you had to prevent yourself from jolting when his shoulder touched yours. 

“Do you believe in love, astronomer?” you turned your head to see his face. 

“I don’t know. I have to see and touch things to believe in them.” 

“So you need to see and touch Selene to believe in her?” 

“Yeah.” 

“And would you believe it if she suddenly appeared and told you that it was her?” 

Doyoung turned his head to look at you as well and his gaze made your guts twist on themselves. He was so close that you both kept on whispering. 

“She should prove it somehow.” 

“What would you want her to do?” 

“Something goddess-like?” 

“What would that be?” you turned on your stomach interested and lifted your bust on your elbows. Doyoung’s eyes wandered on your chest for a little moment and it made you burn. 

“I don’t know. She’s the goddess. She should know. What can Selene do?” 

“Make people fall in love with her until they descend into madness."

Doyoung hummed with a smile. 

“Human girls can do that too. How is that special?” 

“So you do believe in love," you smiled teasingly, one finger to poke his bicep. 

“Well, it never happened to me, but if so many people talk about it, I guess it could be true.”

“A lot of people talk about Selene and yet, you don’t believe in her.”  

His eyes were barely visible in the night but the little lights in them were dancing just like the stars around the Moon. 

You opened your lips and breathed out.

Then he got up and collected his stuff before you could slip and ask him to just touch you right there under the black sky until he believed in you. 

__________

The first time you saw him you didn't think much of it. 

Another night, another person longing for something while looking up at the moon. 

You let yourself down to watch him better and you smiled surprised upon seeing his features. Apollo would wither away with shame in comparison so you chuckled excitedly. 

Finally. What a nice match. 

What a nice subject to driving into insanity for you. 

So you kept staring at his dark eyes, illuminated by your light, then at the curve of his forehead, his jaw, his neck. You imagined it strained as he begged for your love and you chuckled again. 

"Sleep," you whispered to him, eager to enter his dreams just like you did with so many people before him. 

But he didn't move and his eyes remained wide and awake. 

You tilted your head to the side, studying him well. 

"I said, Sleep," your voice travelled inside his head again but it got blocked by such a thick wall to make you almost fall backwards. 

You scoffed, one foot stomping on the ground and your arms crossed on the chest. 

He was not thinking about you?

He was staring at the moon, yes, but he wasn't staring at you?

_________

It was not until he fell asleep in his observatory that you managed to get closer. 

Night after night you were staring at each other without him realizing and night after night his head was completely closed off. Drifting away in the morning, angry and tired, your only thoughts were made of plans around how to enter that man's dreams.

You were feeling weak, so little time until Helios would push you to the side with his light. But your pride was hurt and you were desperate to get into his head. 

It was so easy this one time. Completely at your mercy. So easy that you basically tripped forward not expecting it. 

His mind was like soft butter and you giggled triumphant, stepping around his dreams. 

Finally. 

It was completely silent inside of him and you inhaled deeply. 

What a nice head, you thought. So calm and peaceful. No chaos and no darkness. 

You opened your eyes and focused around his imagination. 

It was a deep refreshing forest with a faraway waterfall. The sound of it accompanying the sound of your nude feet on the grass. 

Then you saw him. 

The man was lying down on a patch of soft moss, eyes closed and relaxed features. Like some sort of spirit. Like a god. 

You walked to him silently and touched his knee. His eyes slowly opened at the sensation and his lips got brushed by a sigh. You leaned down on top of him, catching it with your lips, sighing into him as well. 

Finally, you smiled, as his hands pressed into your soft flesh. 

But before he could touch your bare skin, you were already drifting away to sleep yourself and the dusk vaporized you from his arms. 

So you tried again. 

And again. 

Always near the time, you'd touch gowns with Helios as you passed the baton. Always touching the mortal man just for a second in his mind and his dreams.

Until you became obsessed.

His hands on your stomach and sliding lightly on your bust. You holding onto his wrist with both your hands and delicately kissing his thumb before gently starting to suck on it. His muscles contracting at the sight and you feeling him harden underneath you. His lips slightly parted as if breathing for him was suddenly harder and his gaze was dark and lustful. Jerking up with no warming and, pressing you hard against himself, kissing you hungrily. Wet, messy, and rough. His fingers digging into your thighs and yours into his shoulders. His skin rubbing against your and you desperately wanting more.

Until you got too impatient. 

__________

“It’s called a telescope. It’s a machine that makes things appear closer. I want to see every detail of the moon and I’ll soon be able to.” 

Doyoung was scribbling away into his papers and you shifted your head from resting on your knees to resting it on your hand instead. 

“Can I see it?” 

He didn’t reply for a few moments, eyebrows furrowed and clenched jaw, so you thought he didn’t hear you. 

“It’s not done yet,” he then mumbled right when you opened the mouth to speak again. 

“Well-” you started but he suddenly got up and extended his hand to you. 

You looked at his delicate palm and fought the urge to kiss his fingertips. 

You lifted your hand to touch it. It was soft and warm as you held it. And you hoped he wouldn’t let yours go after helping you up. 

Unfortunately, he did and started to walk up the little hill towards the tower by himself. 

You smiled a little and followed him after gathering your gown in your fists, eyes on his back instead of paying attention where you should put your feet instead.

“So tell me. Why do you like the moon so much?” 

Humans were so used to walking around that it was nothing for him to arrive at the top of the hill in a few steps. You haven’t been walking as much as you did while with Doyoung in aeons so you had to rest, palms on your knees and panting hard as he spoke. 

“It’s fascinating, don’t you think?” 

“Well,” you shrugged, “she’s a goddess.” You replied, the sweat on your forehead and messy hair very ungoddess-like. 

Doyoung looked at his side, staring at your lips as they moved then looked away at the tower in front of him. His visible cheek trembled a little under the moonlight and you smiled. 

“So you still don’t believe the moon is a goddess. My job here is useless.” 

He sighed at your affirmation. “I just- I’m sure there’s more to that. The moon is made of soil just like the earth. I think it’s a piece of earth that didn’t manage to merge with us.” 

He started to walk away as you caught up with his pace. 

“Merge with us? Like when the earth was made someone just left a piece of it out for no reason?” 

The boy looked at you after arriving at the wooden door and resting one hand on it. “You think I’m insane, right? No one believes me.” 

You imitated his expression and lightly hit his shoulder with yours. “I don’t think you’re insane. Your mind is just fascinating like the moon herself.” 

“You think there’s a possibility that the goddess is mad at me for not believing in her existence? Maybe this is why I’m not making any progress with my studies,” Doyoung mumbled to himself amused as unlocked the tower. 

You stared at his profile for a while. The silence made it possible for the soft breeze on the lake water to be heard as well as the young man’s yearning sigh. 

“I think she’s flattered. You’re like a challenge.” 

Doyoung turned his head around to face you again and his dark eyes under the strands of black hair were hypnotizing as he made a few steps backwards into the round room. 

“Flattered by me? There are so many people staring at her.” 

You tightened the hold on your gown as you followed him into the darkness of the observatory. 

“Not like you. I watched you from my own tower and you’ve been here every night for so many cycles.” 

“I am flattered that you’ve been watching me,” Doyoung lowered his voice.  

You smiled again and felt a lump grow in your throat under his gaze, forcing you to swallow before talking again. 

“Also, you don’t just mindlessly admire her. You want to understand. And that’s fresh.” 

You looked up at the high ceiling and admired the weird wooden construction. It was a little dusty but cosy.

Doyoung let one corner of his lips rise. “So the moon is bored with all the suitors and finds me amusing. Will she kill me after playing with me like this or you think she will grant me forgiveness?” 

You looked down again and stared at each other until Doyoung’s eyes widened a little upon seeing your troubled expression. 

“Hey, it was a joke,” he touched your arm delicately. “The moon is not going to kill me.” 

You gulped and lowered your gaze upon feeling his touch. 

“No, she can’t. But what if she has to put you to sleep?” you asked with a feeble voice. 

His pupils shook quickly as if he was waiting for you to finally laugh out loud at the joke. 

But you didn’t. 

“Why would Selene do that?” 

You walked away from him, hands behind your back, neck strained as you looked up at the structure. 

“Have you ever heard of Selene being in love?” 

“I haven’t heard much of her at all, to be honest.” 

He leaned his hips on the desk and crossed his arms on the chest. 

“What have you been doing during my father’s lessons?” you suddenly turned your head towards him and he finally could see a hit of amusement on your features. 

“Hm,” he considered. “Thinking about the moon but not like that.” 

You rolled your eyes and touched the telescope in front of you with one finger. It was sturdy and cold. Then you started to walk around the room, the fingertip gently caressing everything you could touch. 

“Selene is cruel. She makes people fall in love with her. With no promises. Just for fun. And when they all learn that she can’t possibly love them back, they all leave.”  

“Why?” 

You stopped near a wall adorned with a simple mirror. The reflection was something you didn’t want to look at so you placed your gaze on Doyoung. He exchanged the look. 

“It’s her fate.” 

“Her fate to be cruel?” 

“Her fate to be alone.” You started to walk again. 

His clothes neatly hanging near his bed smelled like incense and they were soft under your finger. 

“That sounds like someone that wants to protect themselves,” he considered. 

You didn’t reply for a moment so Doyoung kept talking. 

“Selene sounds like a sad individual. She keeps making people fall in love with her but no one is trying to make her fall in love with them. And then they run away like cowards.”

You chuckled a little. “You think? But that’s Fate. If you fall in love with Selene, you either run away or lose your life.” 

“And how many people lost their life?” 

You hummed. “No one really.”

“If you love someone truly, no Fate is going to make you tremble in your slacks like a little boy.” 

You chuckled again. 

Your room tour was almost over as you walked over him, your finger gently touching the table until reaching his thigh. 

He looked down at your hand and followed it’s movements as you drew a line up on it until getting to his hip, then on his wrist and forearm. 

His skin shivered in goosebumps under your touch and you heard him swallow. 

“If you’re going to keep being so obsessed with the moon, you might lose your life too,” you whispered. “Run away now, before it’s too late.” 

His hand twitched as he loosened up his arms on his sides and grabbed your fingers before you could get to his chest. 

“Selene might choose to put me to sleep?” 

“She might have to. For pity. To not let you die on the hands of the Fates instead since it’s gruesome.” 

Doyoung wrapped your shoulders with his arm and pulled you towards his body.

 You heard the buzzing of his voice near his heart when he talked. “I will not let the moon do that. Don’t worry.”

His scent was inebriating and you closed your eyes, palms shyly placed on the linen of his tunic, his breath tickling your forehead before he placed a kiss on it. 

The touch felt so dizzying that you had to inhale twice. 

“Promise?” you lifted your head and asked quietly, the words travelling on the little sigh you emitted and placing themselves on his plump ones. 

“I promise-,” he tried to say but he was so close that you didn’t let him finish, the kiss he gave you after you leaned in was better than any words. 

Then he kissed your cheek and jaw, then you felt his tongue gently outlining your ear until you whimpered and tightened your fingers into his clothes. He chuckled lightly and kissed the spot under the ear, down down on the neck, biting gently into your flesh as you started to pant. His hands palmed the bare skin on your back before meeting the fabric of your nightgown again. 

It was your turn to get goosebumps all over your skin as you melted in his hold. 

Then you noticed the lights of the dusk gently illuminating the small windows of the observatory and you had to lightly push his chest back. 

“I have to go,” you whispered quickly. 

“Just a minute,” he replied on your lips, his arms not wanting to let you go yet. You kissed him back in short pecks until he chuckled. 

“Okay okay. Go,” he pressed his lips into yours for the last time and you turned around fast, yelping once as he lightly slapped your ass. 

__________

“There’s something I need to confess,” you announced. 

Doyoung’s eyes weren't on the moon that night either and you smiled at the small victory. Then you felt a sting inside your chest that prompted you to finally be honest with him. 

Getting out of the water slowly you hoped he'd let his obsidian eyes shamelessly caress your skin but sensing your approach he lifted his eyes on the sky instead with a secret gulp. 

“What is it?” His voice was low and a little pasty. 

"Are you drinking?" you chuckled once surprised as your feet walked the short sand shore before you could feel the cool grass under your toes instead. 

Doyoung smiled. "It's starting to get a little bit cold these nights. I have to keep myself warm."

You kneeled in front of him, sitting on your legs and extending your hand towards the bottle. "I'm also a little chilly," you explained. 

The young man handed you the wine and watched your lips as you tasted it. 

"Perhaps if you didn’t wander around naked you won't be feeling this cold." 

"Perhaps if you finally let me under your cloak, you won't be feeling this cold either." 

Doyoung's pupils trembled and his lips tightened. His lashes fanned his cheeks a few times and he looked away as you collected a single drop of wine from your lower lip with the tip of the tongue. 

He was so stubborn to fully give in that it made you euphoric. 

After the little exchange in the observatory, you expected him to jump on you as soon as he saw you. Instead, he slyly sat down on his usual spot in front of the lake, eyes high on the sky and hands busy taking his notes. 

So you undressed as usual and entered the water until you could physically feel his gaze burning your skin.

You were actually relieved he felt like that. 

Nights after nights you wondered if you should just stop bothering him. 

You felt selfish and cruel. Cruel with yourself, because you already knew how it would end. He’d run away from you and if perhaps he would not, if he prefered to actually die, then- 

You drank again and enjoyed his awkward silence for a bit. 

“I’ve been watching you that first night," you confessed. Doyoung's breath halted for a second and you smiled.

I’m Selene. I’m actually Selene. 

“I told you that I’ve been watching you for many nights, actually. From my tower.”

You locked eyes and you felt his hand wrap yours making you shiver. He retrieved the bottle and sipped talking.

"Why?" 

I’m Selene. 

"For the same reason, you've been staring at the moon. To understand. And because you're beautiful." 

Doyoung gulped the liquid and his eyes finally locked with yours. 

"What do you want to understand about me?" 

"Everything."

The crickets kept you company in the moment of silence and for the first time Doyoung didn't shy away from openly looking at your curves and you felt your skin get goosebumps. 

His fingers then unbuttoned his cloak and lifting himself on his knees, he wrapped your naked body with it. The warmth and his scent almost made you whine in pleasure. You desperately wanted him to pull you down on top of him.

"So you choose that exact moment to come and talk to me." 

The little smile that crept on Doyoung's lips made you smile as well. He sat down again and relaxed back on one elbow.

“I had no idea that looking at the moon would get you horny if that's what you're saying."

He looked at you with the corner of his eyes. The amusement in them made you bite your lower lip. 

"You got horny by looking at me though." 

In your whole long life, you've never experienced that type of teasing. 

He was there, hands not on you, doing everything with his eyes instead of his touch and it was driving you insane. 

It was not the first time you'd come down and talk to admirers that loved to stare at you, yet not a single one has made it so difficult for you to sleep with them. 

Were you losing your charm? Was it their belief in Selene that made you look fascinating to their eyes? Was this the reason Doyoung kept it all together all of these nights? You were just a normal girl in his eyes, weren't you? 

It made you so frustrated. 

And relieved at the same time.

“So why were you horny that night?” 

“I’ve been dreaming about this girl I have never met before,” he admitted." I don't know who she is or what she looks like-"

"But she managed to get you horny like that?" 

He had another sip from the bottle as if regretting telling you that. 

"Maybe it was Selene? She's known for meeting people in their dreams," you suggested. 

I am Selene. It was me. Keep me close but please run away too. 

"Selene doesn’t-” he tried to reply but stopped, aware of your deep beliefs. 

"And a girl from your dreams does?" 

"I've never-” 

"Is this why you're here? You hope to dream about her again?" 

"I am here because I am studying the moon." 

“What was the girl doing in your dreams? Can you show me?” you lowered your voice and you could have sworn that Doyoung was ready to finally push you under his weight. 

“Don’t do this to me,” he whispered instead. 

I am sorry. I am so sorry. 

“Why not?” you touched his knee. 

“I haven’t been myself since you’re around.” 

“Is that a bad thing?”

It is. It’s such a bad thing.  

“I just… I want to concentrate on the moon-” 

“She’s not going anywhere.” 

If there were men that refused a naked girl as she explicitly asked them to touch her skin, Doyoung realized with great difficulty that he was not one of them. 

Fuck, when you straddled his lap and leaned down, not even Zeus and all of his squad would have been able to stop Doyoung from sliding his hands up your thighs and grab your waist.

"Will you leave me alone after this?" he whispered on your lips. 

"Only if you leave me alone first." 

"You came to me first."

"I don't think that's correct."

Doyoung's eyebrows furrowed at your words but he had no time to think about it at your command. 

“Kiss me,” you managed to tell him before he pulled you down on his chest and promptly bit your lower lip. You whined once and cupped his face as his hands pressed you on himself.

It was weird. It was so weird. 

His tongue playing with yours and his fingers caressing your naked body, you felt powerless. You were so small. 

A weird sensation was engulfing your chest just like his scent and warmth tickled your senses. 

It tasted like danger and it made your nerves shake. 

The desire was so high that it made you dizzy but the terror was just as big as you felt his grip tighten on you. 

You felt like any other man you bewitched before. Insane. At his mercy. 

And you desperately didn’t want him to die. 

"Wait!" 

Doyoung stopped kissing your neck and looked up at your face. 

"Is everything alright? Sorry if I-," 

"No, no, it's fine," you gulped, gently moving back until standing. 

You tugged at his cloak, even more, covering yourself up to the chin. 

"I'll borrow this if it's not an issue for you," you tried to smile a little. "I just remembered I need to go home. I’ll let you concentrate on your studies for now.” 

"Wait- it’s not morning yet-," he blinked at you and stood up as well, but you were already running away on the little dirt path towards the tower. 

__________

"Your game is so weak that you make girls run away now?" 

"I didn't tell you this to get teased by you," Doyoung replied sternly but when Ten looked over he smiled seeing the other's amused expression. 

"Perhaps she just wanted to seduce you and when you finally got seduced she got bored."

"Valid. But we could have at least finished." Doyoung sighed. "I'm afraid I scared her somehow." 

The lake sounded calm in the colours of the dawn and Doyoung raised his gaze to look at the sky. 

"I mean, I'd be scared to sleep with you too." Ten joked but Doyoung wasn't listening. 

"There's something else,” the latter mumbled, almost to himself. 

Ten went quiet and looked at the other's glowing profile. 

"She felt so familiar as I held into her. Her scent and voice and her breathing. She was exactly like the girl I've been dreaming about."

Ten whistled. "You're projecting now?"

"Maybe she didn't want to be used as I thought about that dreamy girl," Doyoung murmured on his own. “I swear they felt the same though.” 

Ten waved his palm in front of his brother's face but the other didn't flinch, eyes lifeless as he was lost in thoughts. 

Then Ten shrugged. 

"Go and find her. Ask to talk to her."

Doyoung finally came to his senses. "You want her father to kill me?" 

“Go to sleep then.” 

“What?” 

Ten shrugged again. “Go to sleep and see if they’re the same person.” 

“Don’t make fun of me.” 

“I told you that you should come over our weird mystical meetings sometime.” He signed the words with air quotes. “You’d understand that dreams can be something more than mere night hallucinations.” 

__________

Doyoung didn't look at the moon that night. 

Instead, he went to sleep when it came out adorning the sky and he fell into the slumber with its image burned on his eyelids. 

He felt an idiot but he hoped to see you.

Doyoung didn't believe in fate or higher forces but if his mind could somehow predict your arrival he wanted to find out how it worked. Theory, observation and conclusion. 

It was a soft dream. 

He was walking a flowery hill. The spectrally white blossoms were high to his hips and he gently let his hands caress their petals at his passage. The moon made them bright as if they were faes and all of them were directing him somewhere.

He knew you were there waiting for him before he could see you. 

Timidly sat on the top of the hill, your white gown was looking even brighter than the moon itself. Your thighs were full-on display and for a moment Doyoung felt like he'd lived a moment like this in the past already.

He stopped and looked down around his feet where a small rabbit tilted its head to the side, staring at him with its big and glossy eyes. It was light brown and fluffy. 

Doyoung chuckled once and crouched down. The little rabbit hopped into his arms and he carried it up until reaching your smiling face. 

“I missed you,” he said as a greeting. 

A small breeze made the flowers lean gently on the side and your gown inflated as you stood.

You took a little step towards him and placed one finger on his lower lip. 

He let his gaze fall on it and kissed your fingertip. His skin was warm and soft.

Then he kissed the round sweet you made appear in your hand.

He chuckled feeling the honey already melting on his lips. He bit into it and you ate the half of it that was leftover.

“Why are you running away from me?” he whispered as the rabbit hopped off.

You were unsure if he spoke to it or you.

“I’m afraid.”

“What are you afraid of?”

“The unknown.”

Doyoung lifted one hand and cupped your face. You exhaled and closed your eyes.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” he asked.

“Falling in love with you.” 

_________

“I’m glad you took some time off to see me, son.” 

“Thank you for accepting the invitation, sir.” 

The two men were slowly walking through the Tower’s gardens, full of roses bushes and soft grass. 

“How are the studies going? Got some new information about the Moon?” 

Doyoung inhaled, hands clasped together behind his back and tilted head. 

“I do. And that’s why I’m here. I have some questions for you, sir.” 

The Professor halted his movements and smiled under the thick eyebrows. 

“What’s all that about?” 

Doyoung started to walk again and the man followed him. 

“I think I might be slightly insane but what if our theories both coexist? What if the moon is just a celestial object for some and a goddess for others, based on their beliefs?” 

The man laughed. “Have you been to the meetings of that philosopher brother of yours lately?” 

Doyoung smiled a bit at the teasing. 

“I think you can be right,” the Professor then added with a different tone. 

They both stopped again and Doyoung tried to read the expression in his eyes. 

“We’re incredible beings. We’re creators. The divine in us wants to create things so badly. Art, science, food, babies.” 

They both smiled again. 

“Reality shifts according to what you believe in and you can create things out of nowhere.” 

“But is that true if I created it? Isn’t it just fantasy?” 

“And what exactly is reality in the first place?” 

“Something you can see and touch. Something you can feel with all of your senses.” 

“Air is reality. Can you see and touch it? Can you feel it with your tongue? No. But it’s here. We all agree on it.”

The astronomer smiled again. “It’s because we need different eyes to see it.” 

“Just like you need different eyes to see Selene instead of a round disk in the sky,” the man replied. 

Doyoung turned around and walked again in silence. 

“Would Selene start to exist like flesh and bone in front of me if I started to believe in her?” he asked after a moment. 

“Yes. And the moon would look like a piece of dirt to me if I had your beliefs instead.” 

Doyoung sighed, shaking his head to the side as if trying to apologize. 

“I don’t know why I started to think about all of these things.” 

“You’re not the first man to get heartache for her, Doyoung.” 

“I am not-” Doyoung blinked a few times, unable to go on. 

“It’s actually,” he finally faced the old man, “it’s actually all about your daughter, sir,” his voice was feeble and his cheeks lightly dusted with the colour of roses. 

The Professor opened his mouth for a moment but he was quick to close it as a little smile adorned his mouth instead. 

His arm moved and Doyoung fought the urge to not run away. But the man had no ill intentions. Instead he fatherly cupped the other’s nape and laughed once. 

“I do not have a daughter, my boy.” 

__________

She’s cruel.

Doyoung could understand that. He was not stupid nor blind. 

Swaying your hips around him, visiting him all nights, eyes full of him and basically begging him to touch you: only a fool would not take a hint. 

Yet, you didn’t come to him anymore. You ran away instead of fully seducing him, breaking him, leaving him desperate. 

Or was it the whole plan? Making him long for more until no other thought could have space in his mind? 

Well, it was working. 

But Doyoung was also the sole creator of his reality and his heart was still not acquainted with the truth of the moon being a goddess. And if he didn’t believe in you, you were not real. Just a fragment of his imagination, of his dreams.

Although your touch and your breath on his skin was something he could actually feel. And the thing blooming inside his heart was also something he could feel. 

Slow feet to drag to his observatory he barely noticed the white gown abandoned on the lake’s shore. He had no intentions to look for you yet there you were again when he least tried hard to reach you. 

The night was dark and the moon was but a mere semicircle in the middle of infinite stars. 

And you were barely visible in the slow movement of the lake too, eyes closed and face up to bathe into the myriad of lights. 

“I’ve never asked your name.” 

His voice was low but it startled you. He was standing on the strand of sand, nude feet gently touched by the water at a slow rhythm. 

Hands in his slacks pockets and head ever so slightly tilted to the side, he looked so confident to make your blood boil. 

Your eyes ran over his thighs then up to his small waist. You imagined yourself wrapping it with your arms, pressing your face into the clean scent of his white flowy shirt, fingers drawing the most prominent veins on his forearms made bare by his hands that slowly unbuttoned the sleeves.

“You didn’t.” 

You swam backwards, water hitting the swell of your breasts at each fluid movement as you put on a brave face.  

He smiled and your breath vibrated but then you couldn’t see his face anymore, hidden by the fabric he took off. 

His shirt fell near your gown and you looked at its trajectory before realizing what you had in front of you. 

“What are you doing?” your voice was not brave anymore as you spoke and you gulped once. 

“Taking a bath. I had a very long day,” he explained, amused eyes under his messy hair, hands already unbuttoning his pants. 

You watched those too as they fell to his ankles before he could step out of them and when you raised your eyes again you inhaled sharply. 

Doyoung didn’t comment on your inability to look at him but you could almost feel his smile burn the side of your face as you turned around, laying down on your back again and trying to calm your buzzing nerves. 

The water did nothing to lull you as your guts physically felt each meter Doyoung swam towards you. 

“I dreamt you a few nights ago,” he talked and his voice was nearer than you expected. 

“Oh really. Was that nice?” 

“You were there too, Selene."

You floundered with a gasp at that name on his lips but he was quick to wrap your body with his arms and keep you afloat. Your chest was expanding quickly and it stopped when you realized that it was pressed on Doyoung’s naked body. 

"What are you talking about?" you tried to chuckle, palms on his chest as if trying to push him away but not actually wanting to do it. 

“Look at me,” his voice was a whisper. 

You breathed out and kept staring at his collarbones instead. 

“A goddess would certainly have enough guts to look at a mere man’s eyes, wouldn’t she?” 

His fingers delicately drew your jaw until lifting your chin up. 

The look you exchanged was electrifying and your hands got buried in his shoulders’ muscles on their own. 

“You certainly have a lot of guts for a mere man.” 

“Is this why you’re running away from me? You’re not used to it? For your little pets to have guts?"

You scoffed once. 

“I could- I could set you on fire if I wanted to.” 

“You already do without trying,” he smiled. 

“I could physically turn you on fire, you know?”

Doyoung hummed at your threats and tightened his hold on your hips even more until there was no more possible space between your bodies anymore. 

“You’re physically turning me on fire,” he whispered near your ear. “Do you not feel it?” 

"Doyoung," you whined, his skin rubbing on yours as you shifted. 

"Selene," he replied. 

"We should not do this."

"Do what?" 

You exhaled frustrated and finally looked at his eyes. 

"You should not try to sleep with the goddess of the moon if you want to be alive."

"And who's going to kill me?" 

"The Fates." His lips curved up. 

"I'm serious! It's going to kill you."

"But I can’t step back. I'm just a weak mortal bewitched by you."

"We both know that's not true. You don't care about me at all. Not--,” you gulped. “Not like I do."

He smiled a little. 

"And that drives you insane, doesn’t it?" his breath caressed your earlobe as he whispered near it. "You hate being weak."

You closed your eyes with fluttering eyes as you felt his fingers caress your spine, from the base of your neck, down to your waist until reaching the softness of your ass.

"Why are you resisting me, let me in."

"You're just everything I was afraid of."

"Maybe it's time to stop and face your fears."

"There's no going back after this. You should run away now.”

"I don’t want to go back." 

"You said it yourself. You’re but a mere man. A human!” you argued. 

"And yet here you are, Selene herself melting in my arms."

You sighed in frustration. "Don’t get so cocky."

"You said that the worst thing that could happen is you falling in love with me. Is that really that bad?" 

“The Fates will get to you, Doyoung? Do you not understand? You’ll be gone.” 

“You said that you can put me to sleep more gently. Do that.”

“You’ll be gone!”

"I’ll find a way back to you."

"You’re so reckless for a scientist."

"Your influence on me is really bad.”

“You’re not taking this seriously at all.” 

“Can’t be rational when all I can think about is how much I want to fuck you dizzy.” 

You opened your mouth to reply something witty but you couldn't because with quick hands he took your arms and wrapped them around his neck. It was so quick that you were still in the middle of processing what just happened when with gentle fingers he directed your head closer to his face and pressed a sweet kiss on your lips. 

You let yourself be cuddled by his homely scents as you slid your fingers through his soft hair. His hands were drawing light lines on your back and between his arms, you felt warm and safe. All your worries were suddenly gone and you couldn't feel any tiredness or anxiety in your muscles as Doyoung smoothed it all for you.

He eventually broke up the kiss and you were both slightly breathless as you looked at each other in the eyes. His gaze was intense and rough and you couldn't stop thinking about the way your body was pressing against his.

Your thoughts might have been written on your face because he smiled slightly and got his hands busy to slowly slide his fingers across your ass and thighs. 

"I can stop if you want me to," he said, almost whispering. 

"No, don’t stop,” you whispered back. 

__________

“So, what are you? Like, immortal?” 

His voice was a low buzz. Head resting on your stomach and arms wrapped around your body, you let your hand gently play with his hair. 

The night was cold on the lake’s shore. His cloak felt soft under your naked bodies though and his mere presence made it impossible for you to feel any breeze. 

You exhaled and shifted in his hold to be able to look at him. “Yes, but I can die too.” 

“Well, you do have hot blood inside of your veins,” he smirked, lifting his head too, palming your body up until reaching your warm cheeks. You closed your eyes for a moment, gently rubbing your side of the face on his hand before opening them up and taking in the view of him between your legs. 

“I told you how this is a curse, right?” 

He hummed, going back to his previous position, hands wrapped around your thighs and slowly drawing diagrams on your skin. 

“And it’s bullshit.” 

“How is that-”  

“Who the hell are the Fates and why do they have a say in your destiny?” He sounded angry. 

“Also why are you even cursed?” he lifted his head to look at you and his furrowed eyebrows made you giggle. 

“The Goddess of the Moon is not the same forever. We change every other aeon. I have been chosen this time and with it came the curse.” 

Doyoung rolled his eyes so incredulously that you giggled again. 

“My heart is flowing with jealousy. Of all I’ve ever wanted, my hands got only smoke,” you whispered and Doyoung blinked at your sudden change in tone. 

“Hey,” he slithered upwards until placing his arms around your head. 

You wrapped his body with yours and hid your face into the crook of his neck.

“It’s going to be so soon,” you whined. 

“What?” he rolled over and pulled you towards his chest. 

“The Judgement.” 

Like a spell that summons darkness, the night sky suddenly got hidden. 

You inhaled sharply and got up, away from his hold.

Doyoung’s eyes were wide, looking at your face then at the sky where no stars and moon were shining anymore. 

“You have to run away,” your voice trembled. 

“I will not do that,” he stood as well, hands trying to pull you closer again. 

You took a few steps back, shaking your head as if afraid of him to touch you. 

“Doyoung, are you perhaps a fool?” you almost screamed. 

“Yeah, maybe I am.” 

"You said that you wouldn't let me do this!" you cried out, face wet with tears, unable to get closer to him any further. “I thought you didn’t love me and you’d run away like the others!”

Doyoung was pale and with shaky hands trying hard to reach you. But you were the Moon, high up in the sky and so far away for him to touch. 

“How can I not love you?” he whispered. 

You brought a hand to your mouth, feet slowly leaving the shore, rising in your goddess glory. But there was nothing glorious at that moment as your body jolted with hiccups. 

"It's alright, " he whispered. "Everything is fine. We can deal with this.”

"It's my fault. I've been a fool." 

"No. No. Listen to me."

"I don't want to lose you…" your voice was tiny as he slowly descended on his knees, arms resting in his lap, eyes taking in the beauty of your light. 

"Do it quickly. It's okay," Doyoung added.  

You looked away. 

"It's okay," he repeated. "I'll find a way to get to you. I promise."

"Stop, please, just stop. Why don’t you just go away?” 

"If not in this life, in another one. This is but a mere fragment of our existence. My soul's eternal and it will always long for you. I'll come and find you. I can't let you go.” 

"Doyoung-," 

"My love. Put me to sleep. It's not death.” 

"It's worse than death!” 

"I'll find a way. Trust me. We’re ending this to start again. I do not intend to run away like some coward in front of these Fates.” 

"Doyoung," you whined again, the sight of the Fates darkening the hills beyond him making your eyes fill to the brim until you were unable to see. 

He didn't look back. His eyes were on you all of the time. 

His eyes have always been on you all of the time. 

Your feet touched ground again and he smiled, his own eyes being two little night skies filled with little shiny stars. 

His hair floated in the killing wind of the Fates approaching each step closer, yelling, screaming, shaking the ground. 

Your trembling hands didn't look like your own as you cupped his face and kissed his lips desperately, the whispers of your love filling up his mouth. Until he inhaled deeply.

Until the darkness of the Fates passed above you with a deafening yell of a thousand birds. You wrapped his head with your arms, protecting him and he wrapped your torso with his. 

"Go away!" you screamed towards the halo dancing around in the sky. It let out a frustrated cry and before you could realize it, it went away in a minute, leaving behind but buzzing silence. 

You gulped feeling your throat raw, a little sparkle of hope still lingering in your chest. 

But then you looked down at his face and a loud hiccup knocked all of your body. 

Your kiss worked. 

You held him in your arms and watched his peaceful expression dotted by your warm tears. 

He was beautiful and eternally asleep. 

__________

From “I will not vanish” with Haechan coming up in March

“How bizarre. Not dead yet not alive either.” 

The voice startled Doyoung in the silence of the prison. It was warm and pleasant. Almost childish. 

“Who talked?” 

Doyoung walked the dark corridor slowly, eyebrows furrowed and eyes scanning every cell. 

“I did.” 

The voice sounded clearer with each step he took until he was sure it came from the farthest away room. It was darker and bigger than the others.

“Don’t be afraid. Come closer.” The voice was amused. 

Doyoung stopped in front of it and blinked hard to see inside. 

The creature inside of it giggled once and leaned forwards into the feeble light of Doyoung’s torch. 

The latter flinched and took a step backwards. 

Two round eyes looked at Doyoung from underneath fluffy hair. His lips were plush just like his cheeks. Yet Doyoung could tell he was not a child. The eyebrow scratch and sharp jawline that flinched as he smirked communicated infinite amounts of years. 

“Donghyuck the demon?” 

The young man rolled his eyes and scoffed. 

“I’ve been terrorizing whole villages in their dreams, asking them to call me Haechan and no one is passing the message around? Donghyuck is such an old fashioned name now.” 

Doyoung blinked at him, unable to crack a single word. 

The demon snickered. “What did you expect to see, human? A wobbly indistinguishable mass with four voices talking all at once?” 

“Yes,” Doyoung replied honestly. 

“Those are the angels. Have you seen an angel? They have like seven arms and twelve eyes. Like, you’re an angel, right? With all those great powers. And what do you do? You appear to people with disgusting eyes around the belly button?” 

Haechan leaned to the side on one elbow and imitated puking sounds.

“I had an unpleasant encounter with an Archangel.” 

Haechan smiled at the other’s words and got up from the floor. Doyoung expected chains around his limbs but nothing was holding the demon back. 

He walked slowly towards the edge of the cell and Doyoung noticed his bare feet and ankles. They looked like the ones of a prince not having worked one single day in his life.

“Archangels are smarter. They don’t look as good as me but they at least don’t scare away young girls. Who did you discuss with to leave you so desperate to come here? Also what the hell happened to you? An eternal sleepwalker?"

Haechan was mere centimetres away from Doyoung but the latter didn’t step back. 

“Mark.” 

The other hummed. “Archangel Mark. He’s still on that bullshit? Fate and all?” 

“You’re a demon. You know everything.” 

Haechan laughed. “Yeah.” He walked along the edge with hands behind his back before turning his face towards Doyoung again. “So he’s the reason why you chose me?” 

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend."

"You think we're going to be friends?" 

"Business partners."

Haechan licked his lower lip amused. 

"What do you want?" 

"Love."

Haechan snorted. "Okay, loser. And what are you offering me?" He lifted one eyebrow. 

"Freedom." 

__________

Haechan stared at the contract Doyoung handed him. It was a big heavy book and Haechan touched its cover. 

And if she’s not my soulmate, I’d rather wander alone than touching someone else’s skin, I’d rather walk this earth with no hand to hold and lift me from the ground. And if I have to heal from it and accept the universe’s imposed call, I’d rather suffer from my eternally open wounds. I’ll fight the stars and let them burn me, I’ll let them laugh at my weakest state and I’d gladly make them erase my memory of ever existing in all of the infinite lives if I have to follow Fate.

Turning it over he read the words that appeared on the back after meeting you.

I’m walking through dark times But please come to me just once If I see you again, will I be able to hug you? With this body that’s frozen and about to break? Your eyes and your warm voice I long for it like crazy One day, give me your hand too, turn around and look at me Find me, just once I’ll wait so please come back*

Haechan let out a dry scoff and sighed, looking over the empty hills. 

“Losers.”

*”Who waits for love” by SHINee