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#realistically I believe everyone deserves to be happy
pascaloverx · 5 months
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Rewrite The Stars
Chapter One
Summary: One photo changes your whole life, when you accidentally bump into a celebrity and the world starts to believe that you are a couple.
preview chapter two
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The night ends up being good, taking away the pain in your head that doesn't seem to go away. Serving at Pedro Pascal's table is much calmer than you thought it would be. You just need to control yourself so you don't ask for an autograph or over-treat him. Oscar Isaac is also here, having dinner with him. You believe they are just friends having dinner together but you don't want to assume anything.
"I don't know what you did, but the manager is calling you. And I'm telling you, he's in a horrible mood." Your coworker speaks close to your ear and you feel butterflies in your stomach. It can only be about the incident with Pascal. You prepare to hear some nonsense.
"If I don't get out of there in five minutes, rescue me. I feel like even my third generation will be insulted today." You say looking at your colleague as if you know you got screwed. She nods her head positively with a look of empathy. You head towards your manager who is standing near the back door, right where the whole incident happened. You're officially screwed.
"Can you explain to me how you cause an accident with a celebrity on the same day that I made it clear that nothing could go wrong?" Your manager says, while you are confused.
"Sir, as much as it seems like it wasn't me who caused the accident. It was a coincidence, nothing more than that." You speak softly, trying to stay calm.
"There are no coincidences in the world of customer service. This is a renowned restaurant, not a corner diner. My team must be impeccable. Your mediocrity offends me to the point that I won't even ask for your advance notice. Remove your things from my establishment and go to HR as soon as possible." Your former manager speaks, with a tone of contempt.
"You are being unfair, I did my best to carry out my tasks with mastery." You speak almost out of despair. This job is all you have.
"What I am or am not is none of your business. Oh, and don't use this work as a reference, I will make it my personal goal to ruin any job opportunity you have." It was at that moment that his emotional shock turned to anger. Resigning is bad, but getting in the way of having another job is too much.
"So if I have nothing left to lose, I'm going to take this opportunity to be very realistic." You speak losing the last bit of control you have over yourself.
"And what are you going to do about it?” He asks, almost mocking your face. You then take the jug of orange juice and throw it at his head.
"If you'll excuse me, I'll leave with the rest of my dignity." You say, turning around and noticing that people in the restaurant have noticed your disagreement with the manager. Everyone's eyes were on the situation you had just been in and you felt embarrassed. You even wondered where Mr. Pascal was, since you hadn't seen him.
"Are you looking for me?" Mr. Pascal speaks behind you, and you jump discretely scared.
"Do you have a habit of surprising others unexpectedly?" You say, composing yourself and walking towards the employee area. Surprisingly Mr. Pascal accompanies you.
"It's not a habit of mine but I think it's happening a lot when it comes to our dates with each other. I apologize if I'm being intrusive." Mr. Pascal speaks sincerely in your tone of voice.
"You don't need to apologize, I may have been rude. This night suddenly turned into chaos." You say it, trying to be as subtle as possible, but the truth is that you're screwed and you can't even hide it.
"I witnessed the scene with your old boss. I must say that despite the waste of a beautiful orange juice, he deserved every drop of that juice." Mr. Pascal speaks, almost containing his laughter, and you feel happy to amuse someone that night.
"Do you need anything, I still work here until I take off my uniform." You say, imagining that he followed you because he needed something.
"Actually, I came to give you something. I know it doesn't make up for your dismissal but I think you You deserve it for your effort." He hands you a piece of paper, more specifically a check.
"Sir. No need to give me a check for the inconvenience, seriously. At the end of the day, this job wasn't the best." You say, trying to return the check but Mr. Pascal doesn't accept it.
"Take it as a tip for causing all this and for you getting fired because of me." Mr. Pascal says, forcing the check into my hands. You smile thinking that you are incredibly lucky of being in the presence of a celebrity that you like but that your boss made you feel as if you were insignificant.
"Thank you, sir. It was an honor to meet you." You say, taking the check and putting it on your uniform, not seeing the amount or anything. Mr. Pascal takes your hand lightly and you feel as if the world stops for that split second in which he held your hand.
"It was my pleasure, I hope that if we meet again, your life will be in a better situation." Mr. Pascal speaks with an unusual kindness, his smile could light up a village but you could only focus on the fact that he was lightly holding your hand. Your hand in his and his hand in yours.
"Good evening, Mr. Pascal." You say it as soon as you can come to your senses. He nods as if accepting my goodnight and then he returns to his table. And you return to your reality.
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tumbleweed-run · 7 months
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Could Gale ever be Poly?
Situationally. Yes
Am I the person who wrote an entire post about Gale being a jealous (rightfully so) man? Yes.
But hear me out, in the aftermath of BG3, as long as we took everyone's "good" route. I could see him eventually agreeing to a 3rd. Not just any but very specifically Astarion. And while this is partially bloodweave brainrot I assure you I have considered it.
It wouldn't be easy for either of them, and realistically Tav. But Gale would start out as the main, Astarion and Tav are just BFFs. Astarion learning that love can be without strings.
They invite him to Waterdeep, away from the city and it's memories but also towards a potential Vampirism Cure/Day walking spell that doesn't involve becoming Cazador. Because Gale would be the most qualified to find that cure. And I bet his tower is easily traversed in the daylight hours without risk to Astarion.
It could just stop there, the three of them happy.
But we're discussing a triad.
I think the first crossroads towards romance would actually be Gale/Astarion. Astarion would still be himself and while his innuendo and flirting is generally accepted as just Who He Is and no one pays it mind. Maybe Gale off handedly agrees to whatever entendre that is proposed, as a challenge or just truly "yes I would agree to doing this dirty thing you've joked about." Astarion would be
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at first. Mostly from shock but then he'd dwell on it. Tav and Gale aren't shy with touch, with each other or him. He's regularly hugged and cuddled, sometime's he's even the initiator. It's not uncommon for Gale to emerge from his study after hours to find them curled up on the same couch each immersed in their own thing.
Gale's probably the first one to be surprised by his own lack of jealousy when he happens upon the scene for the first time. But it just becomes the norm. And when Tav is off working on their own thing it eventually becomes common to find Gale and Astarion knee to knee in the study, each with excessively large tomes, leaning over one another because they're both working from BOTH books.
So that first time Gale is blatantly like "yeah lets do that" Astarion is struck by the fact that... he actually might want to. But he's reluctant because Tav's (and admittedly Gale's) friendship is unexpectedly more important that anything as fleeting as 'romance' or 'lust'.
But Tav is 200% on board when the conversation get brought up by Astarion (in the 'ahaha you wouldn't believe...' way). They love both these idiots, albeit in different ways, and wouldn't mind. Even if it was just Gale&Astarion.
But it would never be JUST those two because of how deeply both men care for Tav. Whatever they build to becomes normal. Maybe all three sleep in the same bed, Astarion position on the outside so he can sneak off when he's done resting. Maybe they just constantly find each other making overlapping decisions about future adventures or where to look for a rumored cure.
Part of the reason why this works is Gale and Astarion are not dissimilar. They face their trauma with different takes but it's deeply embedded in who they are and how they'll approach life forever more. While Gale is 100% willing to try and give Astarion more autonomy than he's ever dreamed of, believing that 'if you love something set it free' line. Astarion would spend a lot of time trying to get Gale to see and accept that while he made mistakes he was far from the villain in his story. Tav would spend most of that time trying to run around thwarting miscommunication and reigning in Astarion's god-killer urge despite also wanting very much to punch Mystra.
So while I think both men deserve to be 100% the center of someone's affections, I also believe they could eventually find a healthy trio dynamic.
(and also do whatever the faerun equivalent of an eiffel tower is to tav regularly)
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vegasandhishedgehog · 6 months
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Seeing a lot of upset posts about how the show ended with Boston and feeling like something really went over a few heads. Do I also believe Boston deserved better? Yes. But let's be realistic in the way Jojo and Ninew approached this.
Boston and his promiscuity have been the target of harsh judgements from episode one. And the writers have stated that he has a moral code, it's just very different from others. I was never expecting him to state it outright, that it would just be a thing worth paragraphs of speculative meta, but he does!
Boston stated his definition of boyfriend. If he wants to be exclusive, that's for all the emotional bonding that he desires with someone special, but does not deny him the ability to fulfill his physical desires with whomever he wishes. That's not just polyamory, it's a very specific kind!!! And it's entirely different from the traditional sort of relationship society has accepted. The thing is, he wouldn't have discovered that possibility without knowing Nick.
Boston did genuinely fall for Nick. But how could he have handled that properly when he has no experience being loved and has never learned how to love someone back? Moreover, how could he come to the conclusion that he likes being exclusive in one way but not another without absolutely fumbling the bag with someone who's on a different page? It's not exactly Nick's fault that he prefers physical affection to be exclusive as well, that's just how he is. There couldn't have been any discussion about this, it was a discovery in the making.
The truth is Boston would still have a hard time finding happiness in Thailand due to the political climate, especially with his father being a politician. He's gay and that alone makes achieving his dreams more difficult, but being as promiscuous as he is means even a majority of the queer community will shut him out. He's better off moving to the states where at least he has rights and better acceptance for who he is. And that's what happened.
Because having a sexual or romantic appetite outside of monogamy is still looked down on. I still see it in the BL fandom. I see it just in general. 3 Will Be Free is so often cited as a must-watch, but how many people stick to their comfort branded pairings?* How many people have made or heard jokes about the "Seattle polycule"? How many romantic aces and allosexual aros get othered and excluded and judged for their identity?
Jojo said there was no intended message, but that doesn't mean there isn't one to be found. Boston's arc is a prime example of how slutty queers get treated even by their own peers, even by people who care about them most. It's a cry from the cold and lonely dark that if we think these people deserve better, we need to change existing paradigms and find how we can give them that!
Nick wasn't prepared to do that because he is still hurting, and that's also okay. Not everyone has to change themselves to make the puzzle pieces fit. Boston and Nick's story centers around that so much. Nick being jealous and trying to copy Top, Boston trying to be what he thinks a boyfriend is - they only hurt each other because the parts that don't fit are digging in.
I hope we get a second season, but if not friends, remember Boston. He represents such a particular demographic that gets hated on and ignored constantly, and they deserve a chance. They're not easy, but that doesn't mean they're not worth it. Remember Nick too. We all have a Nick in some manner - someone that made us want to try, but no matter how much we cared for each other it just wasn't going to work. Family, friends, partners, whoever.
Instead of being outraged with the show, be outraged with society. Do something about it. Be kinder. Community is important, now more than ever. I cannot possibly overstate how much we need community, especially among minorities.
*this isn't meant to be judgmental toward fans who prefer branded pairings or aren't interested in that particular show. I know watching anything requires time and energy and scratching a certain itch at the right moment. It is, however, a concern that so many fans complained about numerous aspects of OF to the point where the creators went to the effort of explaining themselves on a weekly basis and editing certain parts to avoid backlash. I mentioned 3 Will Be Free because it's another example of Jojo's work. Many BL fans have heard of it, but only a small portion seem to have watched, and that can be an indicator of certain biases. This is not to imply anyone who hasn't seen it has said biases and is only intended to encourage reflection if needed.
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nexility-sims · 4 months
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𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐫 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲.
i, frankly, haven't had the energy or positive mindset to sit down and write anything extensive out for this gratitude day, which is is a shame. however, i wanted to post something, with promises to outpour more love next year !
at this moment, i believe it's fair to say i'm most grateful for the folks in my simblr writing group. i've told you all multiple times how happy being in a group together makes me but, damn it, everyone else needs to know, too !!!! it's only been two months, but it feels like so much longer because everyone has been so enthusiastic and earnest—in general, but also with embracing each other's stories, getting to know one another, providing support and assistance. that was all i wanted. this little community's establishment has coincided with a terrible loss and truly awful time in my life, and i just can't adequately express how appreciative i am for everyone. i want to shoutout @300yearschallenge, @bridgeportbritt, @crownsofesha, @daniigh0ul, @greensleeves101066, @lynzishell, @madebysimblr, @rebouks, @simming-in-the-rain, @simstrashkingdom, @sirianasims, @saerelia, and @hannahssimblr in particular for so many insightful, instructive, funny conversations. it's so wild to me that i just met most of you and yet am excited every day to see what you've got to say. that's to say nothing of the storytelling itself !!!!! i'm grateful as well for @digital-deluxe @earthmoonz @funkyllama @housekonig @igglemouse @moonfromearth @simabloom @simeaz @simmysunset @stillgotme @the-lancasters @theroyalthornoliachronicles @trentonsimblr @warwickroyals @saerelia @xldkx i still have lots of catching up to do, but i'm happy to say i've started and am enjoying several, finally. i'm taking notes, whether it's on family dynamics or compelling prose or friendship or the importance of backgrounds and settings or whatever else. lastly, perhaps predictably: i haven’t kept up with too many stories this year for various reasons, but i have been @armoricaroyalty's biggest fan for the last two years. i’m grateful that gabe and i had such a truly epic, ridiculously fun collaborative project this year (almost entirely gabe’s doing, which makes me even more determined to repay the favor). i’m also so proud and happy that gabe’s story has really hit its stride and garnered a lot of well-deserved praise this year.
the big reason why i love gabe’s story is because there are so many interesting characters, all doing something, all woven together in ways that feel realistic and suspenseful and dramatic and hilarious and romantic … it takes a little bit of talent, a lot of skill, and a boatload of discipline to pull that off. gabe has all of it, and i’m so grateful to have been allowed to join in—whether as an enthusiastic sounding board, a partner in plotting, or just someone to agree heartily that, yes, that freddy poll had one (1) correct answer. i'm so excited to see the story continue now that this phenomenal chapter is ending, i have and will continue to learn a lot about the craft from gabe, and my own storytelling has improved immensely just by association (you know, plus the fact that my current project wouldn’t exist without him). oh, and: simblr is also about making friends, and our friendship is hands-down the best thing i've gotten out of this whole endeavor.
all of this makes me believe, in conclusion, that 2024 is going to be full of more delightful conversation, more delightful stories to read, and more friendship ♥️
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yeah, catra isn't the same as shadow weaver. she's worse.
“catra sacrificed herself with no fanfare, no ulterior motives”
i find that hard to believe. minutes before rescuing glimmer, she says this:
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now, if this was coming from a relatively good person who has just made some mistakes, i would feel sorry for her. but “no one cares about me 🥺” coming from a literal war criminal and an abuser? it reads to me as a plea for sympathy, an ulterior motive. and it's clear by the way she quickly goes back to screaming and degrading adora as soon as she was saved from horde prime.
“she apologized. something she never did to anyone in the entire series prior to this.”
are we praising the bare minimum now? yeah, she should be apologizing. and her apology should have been a lot more sincere than just a hollow “i'm sorry for everything”. granted she didn't have enough time to go into depth at the time, you would expect her to apologize properly once she's rescued, right? she doesn't.
shadow weaver didn't apologize and her intentions for sacrificing herself were not great. however, shadow weaver didn't participate in the war (not directly and not to the extent that catra did, at least). she never attempted murder. she never tried to end the world and kill everyone in it. she never caused the death of a person.
shadow weaver was an abuser but she wasn't a war criminal. she never went to the extent that catra did.
and as much as i don't condone abuse, i consider shadow weaver to be a morally grey character. she's horrible because she abuses and manipulates children but she was also willing to help out the heroes when they needed it, regardless of what her motivations were.
it is kind of the truth that monsters create even worse monsters. the cycle of abuse often times tend to worsen throughout generations, although not always. this should have been acknowledged in spop, but it wasn't.
“abused children who lash out in their hurt do deserve to be forgiven if they change.”
two things. one, “lash out” is putting it lightly. you're acting like the worst catra did was yell at someone. save this term for characters like glimmer. secondly, i agree. keyword here being “if they change”. which catra doesn't. she doesn't change.
i completely empathize with people who relate to catra and i'm not stopping you from feeling happy about her redemption. abuse victims do deserve love and sympathy, they deserve a chance to change and grow.
but you have to realize that catra's redemption arc isn't healthy. realistically speaking, this is not good for her. her victims just forgiving her and letting everything slide will only provoke more toxicity from her.
in order to fix a mistake, you need to be held accountable. you need to remind yourself to do better everyday. and in catra's case, she doesn't hold herself accountable (as proven obvious by the way she still blames adora for leaving, and also never brings up certain things that she did like *cough* killing angella *cough*) and no one else holds her accountable either. this is a recipe for disaster. this is not how redemption arcs should work, in fiction or in real life.
not to mention, adora was also a victim of abuse. does she not deserve a happy ending? why is it that catra's trauma is the only one taken seriously? why is catra the only abuse victim who deserves to live a happy life, at the cost of her victim's happiness and well-being?
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chryblossomjjk · 1 year
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bts fic recommendations | 03.07.23
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→ hi friends! this is a little segment i do every tuesday (reviewsday get it, aren’t i funny, pls tell me how funny i am) where i read and review two-three fics. as a content creator, i know how big of a role other creators play in your growth, therefore, i want to do my part in making sure everyone gets the recognition they deserve! so with that being said, please check out the amazing fics listed below. make sure to like, reblog, and leave feedback! ♡ #reviewsday #kikirecs
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stardust - @euphoricfilter (jjk x reader | fluff, smut, f2l)
summary:  if jungkook would have known an unintentional orgasm would have led to this, then he would have begged you to work out with him sooner.
naur bby when i tell you i loved this from the first paragraph...
"If every living being’s foundation is made of stardust, scattered when born, then Jungkook thinks the two of you were made from the same star."
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and the way you continued the analogy throughout was pure literature gold (or should i say diamond teehee). its stuff like this that i read and im like damn, the moots are really out here posting fics that could easily be published best sellers for fucking free!! how lucky are we!!!
OOF AND THE PILLOW PRINCESS COMMENT HAD ME LOOKING AROUND THE ROOM BLUSHING BC HOW DOES HE KNOW ME LIKE THAT I FELT CALLED OUT LMAO
and the whole workout scene hits even better after his workout live like i legit was able to visual everything... and sex in the mirror will never not be top tier :')
i love this jungkook dearly. this is how i imagine irl jk yk? just that hopeless romantic vibe, feeling that he has someone on this earth that is meant for him and he's meant for them. thats encapsulated so beautifully in this fic. such beautiful writing, thank you for blessing us with this fucking masterpiece!!
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knee high socks - @minniesvenus (jjk x reader | smut, college au)
summary: after being obsessed with you and your knee high socks for forever, jungkook can't believe that you finally notice him.
okay so do you ever just hear a song or smell a smell that feels so incredibly nostalgic and fills your head with dreamy thoughts and stars and stuff... that's exactly how i felt while reading this! like i just kept thinking of the arctic monkeys song and the way you characterized jungkook's crush is just so authentic. its just that pure school crush feeling where you anticpate seeing this person and the more time you see them you pick up on little things and it makes you fall even deeper oof. there's just something so fimilair about the way you wrote this and it's probably one of the most realistic depictions i've seen of the natural progression of a crush like uGH THE FUCKING TALENT !!!
and it makes you root for him so much like i was internally cheering for him when she asked him to sit next to him. it was so fucking wholesome and sweet i screamed
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and then shit got unwholesome real quick whew
her giving him praise actually made me so happy though! like you definitely inspired me to write more of that bc its so refreshing and cute!! and the smut was saur naughty but so sweet bc she was just guiding him through the motions and once again it just felt so natural which is no easy feet!! like you really hit the nail on the head with this one and it will be added to my comfort fic list asap!! so so so lovely!!
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in the seom: love for dummies - @thvhoe (jjk x reader | smut, fluff, angst, fwb, college au, camping au)
summary: always the friend, never the girlfriend. jeon jungkook doesn't date. at least that's what he thought until he met you, a chemistry student who seemed to have it all—except for love. meeting at a mutual friends frat party, you hit it off right away. however, due to both of your stubbornness, it has never progressed beyond being friends with benefits. the annual camping trip with your friend group was supposed to be the turning point in your relationship with jungkook. but what happens when your best friend of 18 years unexpectedly comes back from busan and confesses to you, further complicating matters?
OoF WHAT A FUCKING OPENING SCENE LMAO!! i was horny from fucking JUMP!!! and kook juggling between pet names and not knowing what to call her made me giggle but always made me extremely soft like aw :') <3
and y/n really whipped that fuckboy into shape we love to see it!! he better buy gifts n work for the coochie!!! >:(
"Pookie🩶: Can't sleep. Send me a pic of your boobies?"
this had me cackling bc this behavior is saur... annoyingly endearing like he legit is a big baby and i love him lmao even though unholy he is extremely cute.
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^y/n and i both having immaculate taste and listening to ditto
and i am so thankful things turned out well for this pairing. i felt so sad for him like ugh the protectiveness and worry over her. he was generally just so wholesome throughout this entire fic. def a fav protrayal of jungkook. thank you so much for sharing this beautiful peice with us my love!
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grandekofi · 6 months
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i’ve seen too many claims already that what transpired wasn’t bad writing it was narrative choice, but no i’m sorry the writing in the series did get progressively worse.
we were promised a gritty sex and drug romp that accurately portrayed queer life and what we got was church camp by the end. as someone who was knee deep in the queer scene as a young 20 something i can assure you a. sandray and topmew would not still be together as demonstrated by the fact that they had to give them complete personality transplants by the end to justify it - i.e bad writing. it wasn’t character growth it was retconning and we all know it. hell, that friend group just wouldn’t be talking anymore. they would have imploded by the end bc of how shittily they were treating each other and there’s your realistic ending.
sand and top had zero personality outside of extremely shallow things we knew about their interests and trauma but were more so there to make mew and ray more interesting - which didn’t work. ray’s storyline got closer but it still presented addiction recovery farrrr too cleanly imo.
what did the boeing storyline actually accomplish? because i love mond but boeing was just further “we hate sluts” narrative fodder. we got no insight into why sand loved him so much and was so fucked up over him. and this thing that clearly left him fucked up over relationships was just ended by mew and ray being kinda mean to boeing and then sand making out with top. no acknowledgement or recompense for the crazy sex tape debacle or the fact that he clearly still hasn’t dealt with his issues or his issues with ray.
and i mean this next part with love but too many of you are too quick to believe that they were trying for some deeper commentary on how society treats polyamory/sexually liberated people with boston’s storyline. let me be very clear - it wasn’t. boston being as shameless and upfront as he was the entire rest of the season he would never have lied to boeing or nick about communicating his expectations. and they never wrote nick as this monogamous damsel until the very end. to quote their writing “i don’t have to be his number one, he doesn’t even have to love me, he just can’t hate me” and “why do you still love me? i did so many nasty things to you” “i’m nasty too. i bugged the car when you and top were having sex. don’t we deserve each other?”. they up until that point communicated the best out of all the couples in the show, so to end it like that cold turkey made no narrative sense. they didn’t need to break up to continue learning healthy boundaries and how to love themselves. but if you still disagree with all that, it’s pretty clear they weren’t trying to side with boston, because where were the shots of him happy in New York *despite* how people treated him back home. otherwise all they’ve communicated is that people like boston and boeing are irredeemable and will only end up miserable. i just don’t think some of you want to accept that tbh.
either commit to everyone being terrible and amoral or don’t but being selective just was never gonna be a good look
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fizzingwizard · 8 months
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Something else I love about Moomins...
When I was a kid, like nine or ten years old, I had a book called What Kay Did. In the book, Katy is a selfish and mean young girl, who falls off a swing and I think breaks her back or something. As a result, she can't walk, and is cooped up inside and miserable. Little by little, she learns how her nasty behavior made her siblings afraid of her and not want to be with her, and now that she can't go out and amuse herself, she's really dependent on them for fun. So she learns to be nice. She becomes almost saintly, really.
Then, near the end of the book, the family finds out that there's a possibility that Katy will be able to walk again. And instead of being happy for her, the siblings say, "But she's become so nice since she got hurt. If she heals, will she be mean again?" Fortunately, Katy both relearns how to walk, and stays nice, so everyone's happy.
I hated this book. And it's not like, as a kid, I wasn't familiar with moralizing children's books where the main character learned a lesson and grew into a better person. I knew exactly what the book was doing. I just hated it. And I also knew that the siblings weren't meant to be interpreted as cold and indifferent for their lack of enthusiasm on hearing Katy might walk again. It's probably realistic even, if you've been bullied by someone before, to worry that a return to the circumstances where they bullied you would trigger it again. Still I hated them. I hated the book for telling me Katy had to behave a certain way for her to deserve to walk. Even though the way she used to be was truly awful. And I hated the book for requiring me to sympathize with the siblings, who had been treated badly by Katy, when what I really thought was that their resistance her recovery, however brief, was worse than anything she'd done to them in the past.
I hated being told what to think. I hated being preached at about right and wrong. And more than anything, I hated that Katy went through a character arc so dramatic that, in the end, she was completely unrecognizable as the girl in chapter one. That was meant to be good thing, because chapter one Katy was an asshole. But even as a kid, I didn't believe people change that much. Katy ended up more or less a saint. Always kind, always giving, always patient. Because of that, her relearning to walk came across like a reward for being a good person.
I haven't picked up this book again since I was a kid. So I may be forgetting important points. It's always possible I'd feel differently as an adult. That's my disclaimer, but i don't really think so. Because it's not like this kind of book was unusual. Another one comes to mind, the title of which I've forgotten, which was about a plate. In the world of plates, if you let just anyone eat off you, you wound up a dirty paper plate no one wanted. But if you waited and remained pure and clean, one day the King himself would change you into a beautiful porcelain plate and you'd be part of his household. It was a metaphor for Christianity and for virginity. It was more preachy BS.
Part of the reason I hated it was because I really took it to heart. I felt that I was horrible like Katy, and that unless I could achieve her saintliness, I would be always coming up short. Every time I committed a sin, even just in my head, I felt like I was back at square one. And I was doomed to fail, because of course it's impossible to be as good as Katy. We can change some. We can strive for self-improvement. But we'll be fighting our demons forever. (And in the book's defense, I believe I remember a scene where Katy admits she still struggles with her temperament later on, but she does her best not to let it affect her siblings.) With the plates, same thing: you can't live a totally pure and clean life. No one can. In Christianity, that's supposed to be a prerequisite for being human: we are all sinners, all of us. The goal is to try your best to live a righteous life and to be humble. But there's so much judgment and so many attacks on people who falter, and so much smug superiority among those who are convinced they are living righteously.
The Moomins books say something completely different. They were about self-acceptance. "All nice things are good for you," Moominmamma says. That would never fly in my Christian children's literature. And it's not like the Moomin book were anti-religious. (on a tangent: I wondered if what Moomintroll left under the fir tree, the thing that he didn't even tell Snufkin about, was meant to be him giving his soul to God on Christmas. It's impossible for me to tell whether I read that story right or if my deeply religious upbringing is screwing with me again.)
The Moomins don't say it's fine to be a bully or it's fine to do things that hurt you or others. But they don't go around breaking your back for being a bully or rejecting you eternally for not doing what you're told. Things happen in Moomins - characters make choices in step with their nature, and although they rub each other the wrong way sometimes, it always turns out that there was this or that reasoning and no one's really right or wrong. They're all just people. Moomins doesn't expect you to ever try to be perfect. And hiding your demons doesn't protect your family from them, rather it creates more distance between you and makes it harder to support each other and feel supported.
Characters in Moomins aren't so dynamic. But they also aren't completely stagnant. No character would undergoes the vast change that Katy did, or the complete transformation of the porcelain plate. Instead, characters are confronted with themselves again and again. And, again and again, they learn to accept themselves warts and all. A hemulen is a hemulen, a fillyonk is a fillyjonk and it's no use for them to try to be anything else, because that's what they are. Sometimes they're fed up with it and yearn to be anyone else. It's only natural, because no one is perfect, so we can always find bits of ourselves to hate. But inevitably they'll miss themselves. It's when characters listen to voices that tell them they're not enough, whether those voices are internal or external, that they become nasty and mean and mistreat each other.
There are no real bad guys in Moomins. We can only wonder what would happen if someone really mean were ever introduced. But the stories aren't missing such a character - they especially aren't missing the chance to chastise their young readers for their imperfections and urge them to be righteous because otherwise, hell awaits. I much prefer the take that everyone has their own personality and temperament and history, which informs their actions, and that most of the difficulties people have with each other come from not respecting that. You can't have a community by forcing everyone to be the same. A community is different people making the same choice to support each other's differences.
Actually, there is one bad guy in Moomins. It's the aunt in "The Invisible Child." Notably, she doesn't feature in the story. The story is about helping Ninny. About Ninny learning that she is important. That she doesn't deserve to be mistreated and degraded, her every misstep nitpicked. That her wants, her needs, her voice matters. Her cruel aunt doesn't matter at all. So she's not part of the story.
And, when Ninny rediscovers who she is, she's praised in this way: "She's even worse than Little My." I wonder how different Katy's story would have been, if she had Little My to knock some sense into her, without also sapping her of her individuality. I bet that plate never would have become porcelain either, but would have enjoyed life in the Moominhouse cupboard just as much.
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ashratfox · 14 days
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Gonna preface this with: keep scrolling if you don’t want to read a kinda pessimistic rant about Henry Creel and serial killers and if you don’t want to interact with fandom drama (because that’s understandable have a nice day).
So this might be a very bad idea, but I’ve decided to give my own opinion on the whole Henry Creel debate. The easy answer is that both sides are right, and I know that sounds like a cop out, but it’s true; stuff like this isn’t black and white, and just because you want there to be one correct answer, doesn’t mean there is. But generally I tend to agree more with people who are less forgiving of Henry rather than more. That’s not because I think he was born evil, I don’t think anyone is born evil. But that’s not the question, the question is, has Henry Creel passed the point of no return, and is there even a “point of no return” at all?
Honestly, I think there is. In a perfect world, everyone would live happily ever after together singing and holding hands and bad people would be taught the error of their ways and would listen and become better people, and then they would be released back into the world to sing and hold hands just like everyone else. But this isn’t a perfect world. Lots of people who do bad things, if set free, will do them again; it’s a big trend with serial killers that have been let off easy by the law before, to go out and do more and even worse crimes. It’s not because they’re incapable of being good, nobody is. But it would be extremely difficult to convince them otherwise. They believe that they are right, and while some people can change, I think most people would agree that a guy who has killed many, many people, including children, is not going to change now. And even if he could, it’s not worth the risk that more people could die. One person’s potential for doing good isn’t worth denying the guarantee that his potential victims will live. 
I would not be happy if Stranger Things ended with Henry Creel becoming a good guy. It’s not logical. After all he’s been through and all he’s done, I don’t think he’s going to change his entire world view now. He was not born evil, but he has done many, many evil and unforgivable things. He does not deserve a second chance when all the people he killed will never get a second chance. If you don’t think that’s fair, well. I don’t think all those people dying is fair either. 
Some of this applies to Billy too, but I do think it’s a bit different in that Billy never killed anyone; still, he was racist towards Lucas and abusive towards Max, so I don’t think him sacrificing himself forgives everything. But I do think it was very easy for him to be influenced by his father and end up hurting Max in a similar way. I’ve never watched the play, so maybe if I had I would be more sympathetic for Henry like I am for Billy, but if so, that’s kinda stupid; if you really want fans to sympathize with a character, it should be in the show, not a separate production. Either way, both of them are bad people, and saying that doesn’t mean you don’t understand nuance, it’s just the unfortunate truth.
Maybe I’m going to get hated on for this, but I don’t know, just before you say anything about someone else’s opinion, realize first that issues like this aren’t black and white and just treat it with a little respect, because there are real life victims of real life serial killers, and while Stranger Things isn’t exactly super realistic, this is still a topic that brings to mind actual real events, and I have a feeling some Henry apologists would not be so quick to forgive actual real serial killers. 
(I feel like I've rambled on for too long and usually I don't like speaking on drama because I think it just fuels more stupid infighting when we should be able to just respect one another's opinions and move along,, but this whole thing was pissing me off so take this or leave it I guess)
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piracytheorist · 1 year
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Damian Desmond, the bully and the victim
I'm prefacing this by saying I was bullied as a kid at school. It was not the worst bullying story you'll ever hear, but that makes no difference in bully victims, cause no amount of "It could be worse!" can heal the life-long scars bullying leaves in you. I'm not saying this to evoke pity or sympathy, but to give context for my point of view in this analysis.
My two most prominent (and persisting) bullies through my school years were two boys, unrelated to each other and in different times (one was in elementary school and one in high school), who both had divorced parents and lived with their mothers. I don't know the full details of what their relationships with their fathers were, but I can easily guess that there were unfulfilled wishes in their lives, and once they found me they were like "That's who I'll burst out my frustrations on". As if I didn't have my own issues at home, but why would my problems matter from their point of view?
The thing with bullies (and abusers in general) is that, for the most part, they don't understand the pain they're causing - and if they do, they think their victim needs (tough love situation) or deserves it. Everyone is a hero in their own story - I regrettably made fun of a classmate a few times, out of my own need to feel superior for once after having been on the receiving end for so long. And I can tell you that my justification for doing so was something like "I am smart and this kid should listen to me, if he does he will become smart too!". It was only much, much later that I realized that didn't hold and the kid was actually hurt by my uncalled-for behaviour. Usually, bullies don't have the empathy, or if they do they simply don't put it to use, to see things from their victim's perspective.
And in all the praise I have to give Endo for writing Anya very realistically as a child, I also have to give it to him for how realistic the bullying is. It starts immediately, uncritically. It persists and the stupid excuse of "Just ignore them" doesn't work at all. Anya gets angry and upset at it, to the point of violent outbursts and tears (though thankfully presented in such a way that the audience doesn't blame her). Combined with his conflicting emotions about her, Damian has found the perfect victim for his bullying; Anya is an outcast (aside from having Becky, thank god), has physical attributes he can make fun of, and because of her wanting to help with Operation Strix she just constantly presents herself to him, when normally she would try her damnedest to avoid him (like Becky always advises her to).
Everything Damian does is an outburst of his own feelings of neglect. I know manga readers know more about the family dynamic, but as an anime only I've also been given enough to understand it's very, very problematic. But that's not an excuse. Having trauma on your own does not excuse thrusting trauma upon others. I mean, you think Anya, the orphan from the lab who didn't have anyone to give a damn about her happiness until she had to manipulate both her ways into getting a father and then a mother, has less trauma than Damian does???
It's not an excuse, but it's a dynamic for Damian to become better. Damian's behaviour problem doesn't only stem from him being neglected; it's also from the fact that he hasn't been taught sympathy. Which, like, makes sense. His father is an ambitious politician who genuinely believes that it's impossible for humans, even relatives, to understand each other, and had no qualms saying this right in front of his kid.
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When it comes to Damian's behaviour, it does not matter that those words hurt him terribly. He doesn't have the emotional maturity and empathy yet to understand that he's only perpetuating the same toxic behaviour with his classmates. The fact that Donovan felt so comfortable saying those words in front of both his own son and a total stranger shows that it's something he's used to; and such traits can very easily be passed on from parents to kids without even consciously trying.
Meanwhile, while Anya had a much worse time while being used as a science subject, she was taught the idea of peace; in the first episode flashback, the scientists talk about how they can use her powers for world peace, to justify cutting her play time short in favor of whatever they were doing with her. When Twilight thinks that understanding her will lead to world peace, she immediately starts complying with that. And when she hears his thoughts about how he wants to create a better world, she decides to stay with him as his daughter to help him in the mission, despite understanding the risk and knowing that whether the mission fails or succeeds, Twilight will walk away in the end. She understands the idea of kindness and good. Maybe the way she was introduced to it wasn't the most noble - after all, the scientists were using it as an excuse to practically abuse her - but she still knows and understands enough about what it means for someone else to be happy.
Damian… doesn't. For the grand majority of his presentation he doesn't do things for someone else, in fact, he's so used to others doing things for him that we always see Ewen carry his backpack for him.
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I do not doubt that Ewen himself, being the bootlicker he is, offered to carry it, but the fact that Damian never once went like "Nah it's okay man I can carry my weight today" is very telling about how not used he is to doing things for others.
However, his dynamic becomes interesting and receives redeeming qualities because of the times he does show altruism. First when he stops the ball from hitting Anya in the face during the dodgeball game, (though he instantly and openly regrets doing that). And it wasn't from conscious thought - it was an action purely out of protective instinct. Then, when he's the instigator of consoling George Glooman when the latter thinks he'll be moved out of the school. That one he also regrets doing, but it's much more understandable and it doesn't take away the sympathy he showed him.
There is something he constantly does, however, with someone else in mind; he studies hard and tries to excel at school to receive Stellas, in order to get his father's attention. His way of getting that attention has been so messed up by his upbringing that he thinks the only way of getting any positive interaction with his father is by working hard to not be a "failure". And even that hides some personal motives behind it, because the poor kid longs for some affection from his family. Donovan's character and the distance Damian has from him, his mother (when he calls home, he talks with their butler, not her), and his brother all combined do not allow the kid to understand the concept of doing something to make someone else happy, even (or especially) if there's nothing in it for him.
That's not selflessness; that's a neglected kid pushing himself to prove to his abusers that he's deserving of their affection, something he naturally craves and obviously misses from his life. Tough "love" is so prominent in the Desmond family that Damian had no hopes of growing any differently.
He has the potential to become better and has only been held back because of his family's toxic environment. But he needs to develop a conscious understanding of altruism first if his character is to grow into a morally better area.
You can't just give a character a painful backstory and expect audiences to automatically root for their happiness. You need to show your character also has grown empathy because of said painful experiences. We see it with all three mains. Anya was treated as a lab experiment; you start rooting for her when you see that she wants to help bring peace. Twilight went through a war as a kid; you root for him when he says he wants to create a world where kids won't go through the same thing. Yor lost her parents when she was very young; you root for her when you learn that she took care of her brother and gave him opportunities for education and a better future that she rejected for herself in his favour.
So yeah, I do feel sorry for Damian. But right now I only root for him to understand the meaning of making someone else happy — the meaning behind his own protective action over Anya in the dodgeball game and the sympathy he showed George. When he does that, and he realizes he has more in common with Anya than he dares to accept, it's only then that he'll grow from a layered but still toxic bully into a character audiences can root for.
It's also not the responsibility of Anya of all people to take up all the abuse from him and be the one to help him build up some character. It has to be him making the realization, and Anya can choose to be a friend to him as he does that, but in no way can his development depend on her.
(Again, anime only fan here, don't spoil me for the manga)
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reallypleasanttree · 17 days
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Hey there I’m a huge fan of your works and stories ☺️💯. And I was wondering, what inspired you to write such a beautiful,tragic, and heartwarming story about Kanroji and Obanai?
First off, thank you so much! ☺️ I adore tragic romances, so when I finished reading Demon Slayer I was torn to shreds by Obanai and Mitsuri’s story. Their type of love is my ideal where they simply accept each other as they are. It’s simple and sweet.
They were stripped of their happy ending. If they just had the courage to express their feelings before the end, they could have been happy together. It hurt so much. Especially with the way Obanai viewed Mitsuri and believing he needed to be reborn just to be with her? Heartbreaking. Mitsuri would have loved him no matter what his upbringing was. They both viewed each other in a positive light, but the way they viewed themselves was negative. Obanai thought he was a corrupt, vile creature while Mitsuri was insecure and wanted acceptance. If they had been able to see themselves the way the other viewed them, they could have confessed before the final battle. It devastates me every time and I have to remedy it.
Anyway, I read a ton of fanfics for Obamitsu. “Nights” by Rottorex, Peppermint Tea” by prettyshimmie, and “to die nobly, to cleanse his filthy blood” by Clemsmelody helped inspire it. I started daydreaming and plotting out my own fic.
After a few days of thinking through plot points, I decided to go for it. “Wedding Plans” was supposed to be three chapters. 🙃 however, I kept writing more and more about Obanai’s backstory and deep dived into his psychology. I couldn’t just make him suddenly be better in two months and not explain how he got better. I wanted to show a realistic recovery for someone with depression, anxiety, and childhood abuse. It doesn't happen over night and it takes a lot of effort.
As someone with depression and anxiety, I drew from my own experiences. The part where Obanai didn’t know how to tie his shoes? My parents never taught me, so I taught myself. When you realize your parents didn’t teach you the bare minimum to dress yourself, it hits you like a brick. You explain away their actions and accept it as the norm because that’s what was expected of you.
With Mitsuri, I admire her personality. I love people who are exceptionally kind, always wear a smile, and genuinely care about you as person, not just for show. She’s a normal girl with insecurities and wishes to be accepted. Everyone can relate, I’m sure. Also, I love writing her awkward moments. I wanted to show a relationship gradually develop from a place of admiration and respect. Also, it was fun coming up with different scenarios and how to apply their past lives to the modern era.
To be honest, the parts I write in the Demon Slayer canon universe are primarily inspired by fan art. I wanted to highlight little actions and moments that lead to Mitsuri and Obanai falling for each other. I’m so excited to share the next flashback scene, but I don’t want to spoil it.
When it comes to writing, I love angst, but I have to even it out with lighthearted moments. Like Mitsuri making Obanai food for the first time and then he has a panic attack. My partner calls it "dark cotton candy fluff", which cracks me up. Plus with the cast of characters in Demon Slayer, it makes it easy to keep it heart warming. Kyojuro and Gyomei especially. 🥰
To sum it up, I was inspired to write Obanai and Mitsuri’s story in the modern era because I wanted to explore the beginnings of a relationship, Obanai’s past and family, and ultimately give them the happy ending they deserved.
As for my other Obamitsu fics, I write them on a whim and let my steam of conscious take over ("To my love", "Positive, Positive, Positive", "I want to live this life with you", and "Mrs. Iguro") Or they are discarded scenes from "Wedding Plans" (See "Bitter Torment").
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caribbean-ace · 11 months
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Alright so it’s been a hot minute since i’ve been here, life truly gets in the way and i feel that i’m going through the motions but finally after the buzz has settled i wanted to reflect a bit on Station 19 season 6.
I think we’re standing at a different place than we were by the end of season 5 and i believe that’s great. We went from that insanity -not in a good way- of season to something much much better. Few changes were made and it showed from the very beginning of season 6. To put it simply it was raw, by far the rawest season in terms of storyline, obviously because of what Maya went through, the repercutions it had on Carina and so on… Mental health was the overall arc for season 6 and honestly? I loved how it played out… Fair to say a LOT of people saw themselves in Carina and Maya which sparked the conversation -the very much needed conversation-
It was a rollercoaster but i’m glad we went through those moments because it lead to a healthier outcome instead of a quick fix it showed a more realistic side of a journey that can’t be taken lightly. On the other hand i wished they would’ve handled the Beckett story a bit better, by the end of it the writers made a good job by Vic checking up on him and just sparkling that conversation. I enjoyed the brief love triangle between Andy/Eli/Travis, it would have been funnier that they explored that angle deeper but i guess it turned out alright.
The expectations were so high when a female chief was announced but it turns out that it was just another love interest for a man, love to see it (please notice the sarcasm). While i don’t mind that Ross had history with Sullivan i kinda hated how her character just became the woman simping for the guy. They tried to redeem her a bit but it wasn’t enough. I would have LOVED that she actually made some changes within SFD to support women and actually make things better. Remember the storyline about fighting sexism? Yeah, me too. Anyways it was terrible that she was shamed for having a consensual relationship with another adult but it makes me grit my teeth the double standards: the whole you’re heroic for basically organizing a mutiny but when someone breaks protocol for saving a life that’s wrong or having a relationship with someone who outranks you but we’re totally ignoring that too, i get it, it’s for the sake of drama but certain things needs to make sense.
All that leads me to Andy being captain, we all saw it coming, there’s no way Maya was going to be captain again -at least not while being on 19- and while it should have been handled a bit better (the woman does have ambitions and putting a pause to pursue her dreams to heal does not mean she needs to abandon it) i think Andy deserved something a bit better, not just: alright you’re captain now. At least her first “shift” as captain was packed with action but still…
And that also brings me to Theo: at first he was like alright, laid back dude, gets the job done but the second he got promoted it’s like it flipped a switch on him especially being such an ass to Vic for absolutely no reason like ??? But at least she left him, i really liked how she pointed out that being happy for her friend does not mean she’s not supporting him (i wonder if that friendship also extends to Maya, after yk, call her a nasty person and do absolutely nothing to stand for her. Yes i will always be bitter about how everyone turned their backs on Maya).
Jack can’t seem to catch a break and God knows what’s gonna happen to him but at least he’s healthier and trying to stay out of other people’s relationships which i’m glad. I loved how Ben and Miranda where kinda there for Maya and Carina (i say kinda because it’s not like Maya had the greatest support out there but Ben did listen so that’s something. Also shout out to Diane, she’s incredible and i love whenever she appears)
Finally -because this is way too long lol- we know where we are standing in terms of Maya and Carina growing their family, for a solid minute i thought well, they are being ambiguous because it’s probably leading to that but no, it wasn’t. I wasn’t mad that they didn’t make Carina pregnant by the end of the season, if anything the scenes where they are discussing how many kids and stuff makes it so much more meaningful because Maya is obviously in such a better head space. Oh and just as a quick comment: Carina should have gone to therapy too, she needed to heal from that rocky period of time and it would have been cool to see her perspective, even if we saw sneak peaks with Vic, Miranda and Diane i believe sitting down and leading to a backstory would have been so much better.
If you got to this point i love you, i wanted to ramble a bit and finally found the moment to sit down and put this together (it’s a bit all over the place, just like my brain but bare with me). Catch you on season 7🤍
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smolbluebirb · 7 months
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thinking thoughts about Billy and Max's relationship - specifically that Max needs as much of a sibling character growth arc as Billy does.
I've seen lots of fics examine the siblings' relationship and have Max's view on Billy suddenly shift once she finds out about Neil's abuse. Max develop a sudden well of empathy and understanding for Billy once she learns that his dad beats him. and honestly I enjoy that characterization and it's very much my cup of tea - but it's not what I expect from their canon portayals. I don't think Max would see the abuse in the same light as we do.
I've heard that Runaway Max makes it canon that Max knows - has literally watched - Neil beat Billy. and gone on the next day still hating him, and maybe even believing that Billy deserves it. that, horrifying as it is, seems a lot more realistic to me.
bear with me here: a story about me and my younger sibling to give perspective into my point about Billy and Max.
I've got a little brother. our family has lots of problems, but our relationship was never great as kids just cuz I didn't want anything to do with him. both of our parents are youngest siblings and I've been getting sat down for talks since I was a toddler about how he deserved a nice older sibling, and I ought to share all my toys with him and play with him whenever he wanted and be his best friend because that's all they ever wanted from their older siblings. and I resented that. I hated the unfairness of me being expected to cater to him because I was arbitrarily older.
so I wasn't particularly cruel, but I was certainly rude, and I did everything I could to make it clear that I didn't want anything to do with him. and he would go straight to our mom and say I was being mean - and I would get beaten, or lose meal privileges for a few days, or have everything taken out of my room and locked in there for a day or two.
I was in some kind of trouble all the way into middle school, and it made me really, really angry because I had never asked for a sibling. I wasn't mean, I didn't mess with his stuff, I didn't have problems with anyone else outside of the house. but because I was the older sibling, he got to hold all the cards and I could be nursing bruised ribs for weeks because he felt like telling our parents I refused to play lightsabers with him.
but as I headed into highschool he got a gang of friends and was happy to spend his time off with them, so he left me alone for the most part. I still wanted nothing to do with him but it was finally mutual, and I mostly got a break.
here is where it ties into Billy and Max.
when he was twelve, we started going to this little hick cowboy church. I had always been a people person and super popular with adults and peers alike, but I was also super into literature at that stage of life and developing some nasty mobility disabilities, and I started being bullied very badly by the people there for wanting to hang inside and read instead of playing football, volleyball, etc. outside with them. they were VERY hick, man. demonize higher education, a man is out in the field, a woman is in the kitchen, hick.
and that became a very, very regular occurrence.
and one day at home, he waltzed into my room and started telling me at length how I was worthless and no one liked me or wanted me around and I should do everyone a favor and just disappear.
people love my brother, man. they did then, they do now. he works full time with kids, mentoring them and shit. he's good at it. he's not necessarily nice, he's always had a caustic brand of humor, but it's the kind people find hilarious. hell I find it hilarious. it's a lot like Max's in the show.
and you know what? when our mom dragged us to a dinner together years later, as adults, and whined about why we weren't close, I brought up the period in our lives where I was extremely suicidal (I attempted multiple times around then and they are well aware) and all the remarks he'd make. I pointed out that he'd never given me any form of apology, nor had he ever made an effort to build a relationship with me, so I saw no reason to reach out to him.
and he looked me dead in the eye and said he wasn't sorry, and it was my fault if I'd been that bothered by what he said.
that kid was raised from infancy being told that he had every right to demand my time and attention and walk past my boundaries. that kid heard from his friends that it sucked he was stuck with a loser for an older sibling. that kid saw every beating I took and every suicide attempt I made and all the health complications I have from childhood malnutrition and mistreatment as my own fault for not being a better older sibling - because that's what everyone fucking told him his whole life.
so. Max Mayfield.
I wanted to share all this with ye peeps of Tumblr because it seems like a lot of people have genuinely never come across a situation like I grew up in. that it isn't a perspective that's easy for other people to slide into.
most of what we know about Billy comes from Max's perspective of Billy. and where does Max's perspective of Billy come from?
consider every time she hears Neil tell him to be responsible. that he's wasting his life going to parties. that his music is trash. to be a real man. to show some respect.
we know that there's nothing wrong with metal music and teenagers party and that Neil's version of respect and responsibility is toxic as hell - but Max doesn't necessarily. Max knows that her new older brother is rude and always getting in trouble. Max knows that her parents say he should be nice to her and spend time with her and give her things and he doesn't.
we learned about Billy's abuse and saw him in a new light because we know there is nothing that warrants a minor being beaten. and we know the psychological impact being raised like that can have. and we can imagine how Billy could be if he was given a safe, healthy environment instead of the horror of a homelife he has in the show.
but as a kid in that household in the 1980s, Max doesn't. Max hears from her dad that Billy deserves it and sees from her mom that it's fine and hears from her friends that Billy is the worst.
and I just don't see Max realizing that it's horrible that Neil beats Billy. I see her doing things that'll get him in trouble anyway and thinking that he's an asshole so he probably deserves it.
and after the nailbat to the nuts, I think Billy backing off and their relationship stabilizing has less to do with him being scared of Max and more to do with her finally being willing to keep up her end of the status quo of completely ignoring each other, now that she has friends to fill her time with.
and most importantly - I don't think this makes Max an awful person. I think she's a product of her environment and I think she's a kid so she has very little control over that environment.
I think we, the fandom, like to go with the easy answer that of course Max's view of Billy will change once she learns of Neil's abuse because we don't want to think of Max as being the little sibling who will tell you to kill yourself and stand by it years later. she can say "sometimes I wished he was dead" and that's okay because she regrets it now, but I'm suggesting that if Billy hadn't died, Max wouldn't have regretted it.
and I think Max both needs and deserves a character arc of recognizing that her parents were wrong and their treatment of Billy wasn't okay and that she was wrong and her treatment of Billy wasn't okay, either.
I'm not blaming Max. I don't blame my little brother. when you're a kid and you have fucked up parents, you end up where you end up. but then, you have the chance and the responsibility to learn better and do better. and we explore that with Billy all the time, but to get Max from Point A to Point B, she has to go through all that too.
Billy hurt Max, but Max hurt Billy too. they were both kids. they both have to learn better.
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trances-and-tentacles · 3 months
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Hi, it's the rat girl. Wasn't letting me ask from that blog so I had to use Anon. Basically for ADHD I've found that working with the stray thoughts and lack of focus rather than working against it can prove really useful. For me if I have a 'tist/file/scene where I'm suggested to feel blank, empty, or where a lack of thoughts is focused on, it won't work as well for me. Instead, 'tists that encourage those thoughts and lack of focus can be really helpful. IDK if you're working more from files or with an actual 'tist, but when I drop people who have ADHD I tend to use phrases like "you don't need to concern yourself with any thoughts that might drift through that pretty head of yours. Your mind can drift from thought to thought, but here beneath that all I need you to do is listen to the sound of my voice." A lack of focus doesn't actually really cause problems when it comes to getting dropped I've found, since your ears and brain are still processing whatever the tist/file is saying. What does tend to cause problems, at least for me, is *thinking* that my stray thoughts are causing me to not drop enough. It usually goes something like "I'm enjoying this drop, this is nice!" > "Hmm, I'm kinda hungry, I wonder what I'll eat after this." > "Oh god I'm thinking too much and not listening" > "Fuck I'm fucking this up, aren't I? My brain won't shut off" Etc. and then that anxiety keeps me from being able to enjoy the calm droppy feelings that I was experiencing at the start. However if the tist preempts that and states that it's *okay* for my brain to wander and that my subconscious can still listen and obey, I end up having a great scene and session! Realistically because of how my brain works I'm never gonna hit that completely blank slate state that some people talk about, but I can get the same effects if I'm really deep and my brain is slowly going from one thought to the next, especially if the tist or file has already stated that this is normal and natural and shouldn't impact the quality of the drop. It is completely 100% possible for someone with even extreme levels of ADHD to drop and have really good hypnotic sessions, it just requires a little extra specific work on the part of the tist, or files that work well with ADHD. I don't want this to get too long, but I could genuinely talk about this for hours. Basically it comes down to: 1: Believing that you can drop regardless of your lack of focus or other ADHD related symptoms. Believing you *can* drop and being willing are half the battle. 2: Having a tist who will work with you and preempt anxieties you might face. 3: don't fight against your ADHD, work with it. Your brain is more active and hyperactive, so trying to shut down those thoughts is fighting against the tide. Instead try to focus more on working alongside those thoughts, or more effectively, beneath them. 4: Trying and re-trying to figure out how things work with your brain. It took me a while to learn how to drop properly, and what worked for me might not work for you. Hypnotism is deeply intimate and personal to each individual and that's what makes it so fun and special! 5: Have fun with it. Even if you don't get as deep or blank as you'd like, learning to appreciate and lean into the good feelings you *do* get will help you get to that deep state of acceptance, in a roundabout way. Idk if any of this was helpful or sensical, but I really hope you're able to get where you want to be and enjoy trance! It's such a special thing, and everyone deserves to feel safe and blank and happy. You got this!
thank you!!! The stray thought anxiety chain is EXACTLY what i experience and it's one of the main things that makes it hard for me to trance. I really crave the blankness/emptiness feeling but haven't gotten that close to it and i find that i pull myself out really easily.
I will definitely keep these in mind next time I try hypnosis with my partners, we all have ADHD and I've been under for them before once. I'll probably show this to them if that's ok :3
anyways, this is really reassuring and i can't wait to get back into hypno more, as I'm gonna have more free time soon
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wandasacher · 2 years
Text
On behalf of Samuel Seo and why he is not the piece of shit everyone think he is.
Childhood
Samuel grew up in the slums of Seoul with a clearly depressed, unable to work, abusive mother who threaten him to kill him if he talked about his father. She was also belittling him, by saying he was worthless and didn’t care about him. As he was fatherless, the other kids bullied him.
His only coping mechanism was to find his father and thought he was Gapryong’s son. No one can blame him to believe it since his mother wouldn’t tell him anything.
So he worked his ass to be worth of Gapryong’s respect and started a gang only bc Gapryong was a gangster.
So why so violent ? Children who live in this kind of environment, also known as emotional neglected children, tend to have more aggressive behaviour, unstable emotion, low self-esteem and no intimacy with other people.
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(Such a great environment to grow up)
Meeting his father
During the speech of Gapryong Kim, Samuel heard him saying that he made him remember his son and the woman he left behind. So everything was made for him to believe that he could be, indeed, Gapryong’s son and for the first time, he was looking happy.
However, when he came back home. He met his real father who were just a piece of trash. His father left for another woman before Samuel’s birth, never really cared about them until the day his lover dumped him, and so he came back like a flower saying how much he missed Samuel when he never took any news of them, when, apparently knew where they lived. So no wonder why he snapped when he had an unavailable mother who never protected him and a legitimate father who never cared about them. (Don’t try to strangle your father, you don’t deserve prison for that kind of human trash).
But why wasn’t him mad at Gapryong? Because he thought he was a bastard child and adultery is still forbidden in Korea (from my source)
After that, he was probably homeless for a time, until he started to live with his possible GF (the girl in the bed in jake Kim arc -2).
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(parenting lvl 9999)
Did he killed his father?
While it is heavily implied, I personally don’t think so.
In a realistic point of view, you have to strangle someone during 3-6+ minutes to kill him definitely.
We saw Samuel attacking his father aiming directly to the neck, but his mother was very quick to intervene by smashing his head with the AC toolbox.
The day after, he was wandering around the streets, naked, holding the tool box with only his feet being dirty, probably from walking. I think the blood comes from him: it is dripping at the same spot his mother smashed him.
His father was working, so if he died, someone would have notice his disappearance, called the police and Samuel would probably have been arrested. I mean it he wasn’t very discrete after the supposed murder, holding a potential weapon of crime, naked in the street with witnesses.
As we can think he just took care of the body, he clearly wasn’t in a state of mind where he could think rationally and scrupulously able to erase all of the evidences.
As it wasn’t confirmed or refuted, it is the choice of the reader to believe it or not.
Big Deal pre Gun and Goo
When he joined Big deal, he was pretty harsh with everybody, but there is an interesting moment : when he met Johan. People will say he is an asshole to not let him join big deal. But in a pragmatic way, BD wouldn’t be able to have another member due to financial issues. HOWEVER he gave Johan some advices to survive:
- To not cry in front of people otherwise they could just take advantage of him. Looking weak when you are homeless can lead you to more abuses ( see like what and So funny in hostel arc).
- told him to snatch shoes and selling them, which Johan did, and thanks to this advice that Johan followed, Gun heard of him, leading him to be the crew head of God Dog.
He also considered Jake as his friend, so Samuel asked him to go to Gangnam with him because he wanted to leave Big Deal. (Very important) Unfortunately it is also at this moment he learns that Jake is Gapryong’s son, reminding him his family past trauma and his overwhelming jealousy.
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(Johan taking care of his mother like Samuel is doing and it is after him meeting his father)
Big Deal after Gun & Goo
He saved Big Deal. He literally saved Big Deal from being annihilated. He was the one who outsmarted Gun & Goo and earn the fee. And he was planning to leave Big Deal to go to Gangnam. In this situation, he was the one who were supposed to leave.
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(Samuel wanted to leave so much he took time to save Big Deal even if considered BDeal wasn’t good enough for him and his men)
But remember what Jake did? He left Big Deal, he just showed up wanting to fight Gun and Goo. But didn’t try to help more or to find a realistic solution after that. Even Jerry, Brad and Jason stayed to help the girls.
When Samuel became the head of Big Deal, he had to take the responsibility to earn the money for Gun and Goo: otherwise Big deal = annihilated. He was harsh, I can’t say the contrary. Ones would say he tried to hit a woman. No : he would hit everyone who mentions the name « Jake ». (Remember that poor man a chapter before?). He didn’t make the best decisions but at least he did what he could to earn the fees. I don’t condone wanting him to starve the girls.
Jake vs Samuel
When we know the real story about Samuel past. And remember that Sinu manipulated Jake to get rid of Samuel.
They would never understand each other, of course.
He is the contrary of Samuel, who had to work hard for everything to happen to him.
Jake grew up in a rich environment, had everything he needed except for a present father. He had friends, people he could count on and respected him, family, food, nice clothes. Everything that Samuel didn’t have. Ironically, Jake ran away from his house, leaving his mother in the same way his father did. Samuel? According to the girls, he was still taking care of his mother, even after what happened with his father.
Moreover, he is always compared to Jake, what makes him feel even worse about himself.
(Rejection 2)
Gangseo union & gun
We know that Samuel need to be acknowledged so he can feel worthy. (Refer to Childhood part). Gun gave him a second chance to prove himself. Samuel being a social idiot and a perfectionist, decided it was a good idea to beat up his own people. (Which is dumb). Leading Gun to tell him he don’t acknowledge him without telling him why, which leave him in confusion. JUST TALK TO HIM. (Btw Gun, you are a huge hypocrite since you did exactly the same when you killed Kenta’s family, who were one of your affiliate.)
So he ended up being abandoned for the 3rd time when gangseo left, and being more and more depressed and feeling like shit.
When we look at what happened to Eli - who grew up in a similar abusive family- he had the chance to meet the hostel who could understand his situation as a familyless, abandoned children and that his violent behaviour was logical due to his lack of education. Still, they taught him basic human relationships, how to read, to not commit crimes anymore and deeply care about him despite when everything went wrong. With Yenna, he had to become a better person so he could take of her properly and giving her the best he could. He has something to care for. Even Warren stays by his side when apparently the 5th affiliate is going to do something horrible and Eli was WAY MORE VIOLENT than Samuel. Eli is what happens when abused children find comfort with a benevolent surroundings, Samuel is what happen when someone is left with their trauma and don’t find anyone to rely on.
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(No one cares about Darius, but never mess with Eli at that time)
4th affiliate
Do you really think he is the one who came up with the idea of locking streamers? I don’t think so, he was very depressed and at his lowest after what happened with Gun and the Gangseo Union. He had absolutely no hope, didn’t talk, had nothing to live for at the point that he let Alexander BULLY HIM. ALEXANDER. Like Samuel isn’t able to kick his ass if he wants to.
(4th rejection, his only friend started to abuse him, and no, seeing Samuel getting more and more depressed and the shadows of himself is not an excuse, it is even worse ok. And so yeah, try to trust people after that, it is kind of hard).
Moreover, his plan was to take down the hideout of the 4th affiliate to begin with. When Lil Daniel asked for more informations in the contract, Samuel entered the secret room where he said loud enough to lil Daniel to heard that “he might have found our darkest secret” and then managed to go to the bathroom right after Daniel told him he was interested in it, and checking if Daniel is in the room when he came back. Someone who wants to protect a secret won’t leave. That’s why he asked Like What, So Funny, Lil Daniel if they wanted to have an appartement studio when he was already suspicious that lil Daniel when into his secret room.
He knew that lil Daniel was searching for the place where were hidden the streamers by ordering chicken. And, even with that, he let big Daniel go home after he hit him and told him he knew where the streamers were locked, when he could just have called the police and no more problems for the 4th affiliate. He purposely say to lil Daniel that Like what and so funny where going to be forced to do a showing stream, would make obviously lil Daniel angry and wanting him more to destroy One MCM (when the others streamers were forced to do mukbang or dance).
And when big Daniel appeared in the president room with the unfair contracts, Alexander clearly stated that he didn’t hide them in the secret room’s safe. That means that Samuel purposely hide them in the secret room that lil Daniel was curious about. Making it easier for Daniel to find them. And boy, Samuel looked way too satisfied when he found out that the 4th affiliate was dismissed. And didn’t even try to save it and fight back when Tom Lee appeared.
Alexander was the one who supervised the streamers and were checking on them disguised as Mister Gold. He is the one who send them back to their stream and punched lil Daniel so he won’t talk. Not Samuel. Alexander was the president, Samuel was just an executive.
Btw, it is clearly said that, thanks to Daniel, he could fast track his plan. Why do you think he thanked Daniel at the end? Because Daniel took down the 4th affiliate.
So basically : Samuel became president, get rid of Alexander and helped Daniel destroying the hideout.
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(Samuel looking soooooo sad /s)
3rd affiliate
Well, thanks to Samuel, Johan knows who sold the drugs to the pugsan cult. You know, the infos that Xiaolung was supposed to give him ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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(Oups now you know workers are shit 🤭)
And this move helped to save Jake and Samuel’s life from UI Daniel.
He was also called a traitor who betrayed his master, according to Xiaolung. As I didn’t think about it before, I realised he was talking about Alexander. Well, he did betrayed Alexander, but who wouldn’t leave after a so called friend starts to abuse you mentally, physically and emotionally? Leaving a toxic relationship doesn’t make you the bad guy.
With Sinu
But why didn’t he helped Sinu? Because he is smart and if Samuel helped him, it would have compromised his place in Workers, and being rejected for the 5th time. Eugene still don’t trust him even after 3 years working with him (to be fair, Eugene don’t trust anyone). But he was still kind of checking on him until Mitsuki took him for the 2nd affiliate.
And he gave some infos to Jake about Sinu. Not much but they made a deal. Remember that Sinu kicked Samuel out of Big Deal using Jake.
Summit meeting
Looks pretty satisfied to see Big Deal joining Workers, when he purposely know that Jake is looking for Sinu. And he asked Eli what Hostel wanted instead of threatening them like Eugene DID.
2nd affiliate
He looked pretty happy to see Big Deal reunited, remembering the old days and he knew it was what Jake wanted. He was still in contact with him when he left with Sinu and Daniel. He didn’t do much in this arc thought.
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(Samuel looking so saaaaad 2 /s)
1st gen king
Well, he beats the shit out of people equally. Can’t say much since it is the beginning.
Evolution
Well, he came from someone violent and very unstable to someone more composed. The best exemple is how he slapped a big deal members for forgetting his coat to someone who just say that “as a member of Big Deal, your coat should just be nice and clean”. He didn’t use violence to gain respect (see with his encounter with Jing Jang vs when he met Old face for the 1st time). Well except against Asan public, but he had to fight them anyway and no one likes Channing.
TL;DR: Samuel > Jake. Grey character. Looking bad but not really.
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bohnsky · 10 months
Text
Okay my dear people of the internet. I have thoughts. A lot of them, so prepare for a long ramble post.
First of all I feel like I didn't make it clear that I'm not including Sebastian Vettel in these because the others wouldn't stand a chance. I just love him too much. That being said, welcome to my favorite drivers after seven weeks of liking f1:
1. Alex Albon
My love. I am embarrassed to admit that Lewis almost pushed Alex from 1st . There were a few days in the last two weeks when I honestly thought about putting Lewis on 1 and then I watched the never have I ever and remembered why I love Alex so much.
The sprint race made me sad. I believe that if he hadn’t changed to slicks he might’ve stayed in the points. And for the race today (also very embarrassed to admit that) I almost forgot to be stressed about Alex’ position because I was so busy stressing over the Ferraris and Lando being in the Red Bull sandwich.
2. Charles Leclerc
I thought a lot about putting Lewis on 2nd as well but then I remembered how much I love Charles lol. You cannot imagine how happy I was to see both Ferraris starting top three and seeing Charles taking P2 today. Obviously, I wanted to see him win but Max is just unstoppable.
3. Lewis Hamilton
Now finally Lewis. I spent most of my free time the last two weeks reading Sewis fanfiction and that kind of influenced me a little bit. Lewis is such a sweety and my heart can’t handle him. Him having a bad weekend made me sad. And my brother saying that he wants the older drivers, like Lewis and Fernando, to retire so that younger drivers get a chance made me sad as well. I understand why he said that, but I don’t agree. F1 wouldn’t be the same without them.
Honorable mentions:
(I have so many thoughts on that never have I ever video, so this is going to be about that a lot lol)
Checo. I really don’t know what it is about him. I’ve been annoying everyone about how I want Checo to be able to prove himself again and now he did. I’ve been manifesting it and now I don’t know if I’m happy or not because him being good means that someone else is one place further back. Alex for example. If Checo didn’t drive as well as he did today then Alex might’ve gotten a point. But either way, Checo deserves it and I’m happy he found his form again.
Also the never have I ever. Checo was literally the cutest in that damned video. I melted when he admitted that he practiced a celebration before. And his accent drives me crazy. Now thinking about it, it feels weird that I have so much to say about Checo and for Lewis nothing but ‘I just love him’ lol.
Lando. I love Lando. He’s been on my mind a lot lately. He’s funny and so genuine. And I’ve been kind of obsessed with Carlando somehow. They’re just the most realistic ship in my opinion. And, I know I’m probably the only one but Lando interacting with Carlos Sr makes me really happy. But then again, I’ve been a fan of Carlos Sr way before getting into F1.
Carlos. Yes, Carlando. Especially Carlando on 2nd row for the race made me happy (not as much as Lestappen in front row but still 😀). And the race.. Ferrari fucked him over so bad and I was so mad. He deserved to be on the podium. And again, Checo being good makes me happy but I wanted to see Carlos on P3.
Mick. Reading so many Sewis fics did that to me.
Lance. I just think I like him now and I feel like I have to mention it because last time I wasn’t sure about that.
Nico. Again, I’m German and I like to see a German driver doing good but honestly what he achieves in that Haas is crazy. Damn I had no idea he is that good.
Max. I’ve been thinking a lot about Max lately and if I like him or not because there’s always that little voice in the back of my head saying that he can be really rude but he’s proved that voice wrong so many times. And most of the time when I see him the first thought that comes to my mind is that he is 1) gorgeous and 2) so freaking cute and 3) really nice. Also I’ve been obsessing over his hair. Somehow it drives me crazy.
Also (I hate myself for thinking that way but) I don’t like that no one has even the slightest chance against him but then again, he is just that good and he deserves it. There are so many awful and unfair thoughts in my brain and I have to force myself to see how sweet Max really is but I think I’m finally getting there.
Speed round:
Nyck somehow being very sympathetic, idk don’t ask.
Esteban's accent, I don’t know why his accent in particular but I love it.
Pierre, laughs in Pierre.
Everyone who confidently said that they cried during a movie.
That wasn’t as much as I thought it would be but I’m tired so I’m going to leave it here lol
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