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so-sures-blog · 5 months

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Kimbaps & Kind Talks

Summary: a girl found a boy being cornered by some bullies. homeless, alone, and starving, the boy asked the girl if she could please buy him some food.

the girl said yes.

***

(Their first meeting isn't really a meeting, but more of a moment where their lives briefly touched then went their separate ways.

But everything starts from somewhere.)

***

She meets him again when she is walking home from school, the light of the sunset dying the sky hues of orange and gold.

They both stop, equally surprised when they see each other again.

“Oh, you’re the…” Dayeon trails off, not sure how to finish that sentence. Homeless boy? Runaway that was starving and asked me for food? Kid who’s all alone? None of those sound particularly appealing, and she doesn’t want to be rude.

While she’s lost in thought, the boy rummages through his pockets before finally pulling out what he wanted— the money she had given him the day before. She notices that half of it has been used.

“H—Here,” the boy holds out the crinkled money. “Thanks for before, you really saved me. This is all I have, but I'll pay back the rest soon.”

Dayeon hesitantly takes it. “Oh, you don't have to do this… will you have anything left for yourself?”

“I'll be alright.” He reassures her.

“Well, if you say so.” Dayeon goes to bow before she suddenly hears a stomach growl loudly. She looks up to see the boy turning bright red.

“Oh?”

“…”

Dayeon can't help but let out a soft laugh when she sees the boy's embarrassed face.

“You know, I'm actually feeling a little bit hungry myself. There's a convenience store right around the corner, care to join me?”

“ … yes, please.”

Dayeon begins walking, and after a moment, the boy follows her. Dayeon glances at him. She can already tell he's a bit on guard and on the quiet side, so she tries to loosen him up.

“You know, now that I think about it, I never got your name last night,” says Dayeon. The boy tenses for some reason, so Dayeon tries to put him at ease by introducing herself first. “I’m Dayeon.”

The boy hesitates, jaw working, like he was struggling with himself. Dayeon turns to look at him, and he meets her eyes. She waits, smiling patiently, and slowly, some of the tension dissolves in his shoulders.

“My name is… Isak.”

“Isak,” Dayeon repeats the foreign name slowly, and the boy gives a strange sort of shudder, like he's never heard his own name come out of another's mouth before. She eyes the reaction curiously and gives him a smile. “That's a nice name.”

The boy doesn't look like he knows what to say to that. “Um, thank you,” he says. His face is still stained with blush.

They walk in silence for a few minutes, and Dayeon steals another glance at him. He’s relaxed a bit more, so he isn't hiding his face under his cap like before, and now she can see the giant bruise swelling on his cheek.

“Hey,” she says, snapping his attention back to her. “Are you alright? You have…” Dayeon trails off and gestures helplessly to his face.

He blinks in surprise, almost as if he's startled she noticed the fresh bruise painting his face. “Oh. Um, yeah, I got into a fight earlier today.”

Dayeon gasps. “Was it those guys again?” She cries, dismayed.

Isak flinches. “Well, I did run into them again…”

Call it a habit she’s inherited from living with Ijin, but Dayeon is able to spot a half-truth a mile away. Her eyes flicker down to his hands.

(His knuckles were split and had fresh bruises. He didn’t carry himself as someone who had been injured. He hadn't been defending himself. He'd been fighting.)

A niggling feeling worms its way into her stomach.

“I see,” she says when she realizes she left him hanging. “You should be careful around here. Seoul is pretty safe, but there are a lot of gangs around these parts. Lots of rich kids try to pick fights with each other and get away with it because they have money.”

“Alright,” says Isak. He suddenly flinches like a thought has come to him and turns to her. “Will you be alright?”

Dayeon blinks, surprised. At first, she has no idea what he is talking about, but then she realizes what he means. She’s a teenage girl walking home all by herself in an area where she said there is a lot of criminal activity. And she knows firsthand how much men like to harass teenage girls.

His red-colored eyes stare into her, and it feels like he’s probing her soul for answers.

“I’ll be fine. I’m a fast runner,” Dayeon reassures him. “Lots of experience.” That probably wasn’t the most reassuring thing to say, but it was true. All the times of outrunning her bullies, drunk old men harassing her, and teenage boys who wouldn’t take no for an answer has practically turned her into a professional track star.

Gaining a brother had decreased those problems significantly, but old habits die hard.

Isak nods silently, and Dayeon somehow feels like he's more aware of what those experiences are than most boys are at their age.

They walk into the convenience store together, and Dayeon immediately sets out to ask Isak what he wants. He gives her a noncommittal shrug, so Dayeon is left nervously deciding what to pick out for him and second-guessing each item. Isak is hovering over her shoulder and trailing after her like a lost puppy, but every time Dayeon asks him what he would like he keeps on shrugging and saying variations of “I don't care” which inadvertently makes her more awkward. Finally, she suggests that they'll have better luck picking out items if they split up and choose.

Dayeon fingers the mouth of the cold soda, eyeing Isak across the store. He's studying the packages of kimbaps, looking a bit overwhelmed and flinching every time he meets the employee's gaze.

(Sometimes. Sometimes Ijin would flinch whenever someone called his name. Like he wasn’t used to it. Like he didn’t recognize it. Like he didn’t know it.

Like he was never called it.)

“ISAK!” Dayeon calls across the store, and he jerks so hard he knocks down the rows of food-filled plastic containers on the floor.

Dayeon is shocked. She didn’t know what she was expecting, but she didn't expect that reaction. Spotting the cashier scowling, she hurried over to Isak, who was hurriedly picking up the food.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” he mutters. His whole face is red with embarrassment.

“It's okay,” soothes Dayeon, helping him pick up the mess. “It's my fault for calling you so loudly in public. I didn't mean to startle you.”

Dayeon neatly stacks the meals on the shelves while Isak picks them up from the floor. She glances at him when he isn't looking. She doesn't even know why she is wary of him, but it's just something about this boy that is sending some sort of signal to her.

He's different. Not in the way of a foreigner, but of something else. He walks like he's half-expecting to be stabbed than be offered a handshake. His words are mindful, but not in the way of not knowing the language but of carefully wording out information.

And his eyes.

Watchful and wary, darting around like he is looking for something— or hiding from it.

He reminds her of Ijin, and she wants to know why.

And then she does.

It happens in an instant. So unnoticeable that Dayeon would have missed it if she was paying less attention. Isak hands her the final plastic container, and as he does so, the sleeve of his red hoodie slips up.

And she sees it.

There, on the inside of his left wrist, written in small fine-print black ink, is:

032.

Suddenly, the air just leaves her lungs. Her ears can hear nothing but a high-pitched ringing. Dayeon suddenly feels dizzy and faint.

(Her brother had a tattoo on his wrist. It was small and he tried to hide it, but they lived together so it was impossible to, really. Sometimes, when they washed dishes together, he would pull up his sleeves and Dayeon would catch a glimpse.

Inside of his right wrist was the number 001 .)

Dayeon tries to force herself to think it's a coincidence. This boy was likely a runaway, and that's why he wasn't used to his name. He was so jumpy and careful because he had likely lived on the streets, not because he was looking out for something. He had the tattoo because — because — just because!

(Something tells her it isn't.)

“Hey, are you okay?” Somebody asks. Dayeon snaps out of her daze to see the boy — Isak — staring at her with concerned red-colored eyes. His brow is furrowed, and it causes a crease in his face.

“Yes, I'm fine,” Dayeon's heart is pounding, and she doesn't know why. She forces a smile. “Sorry, I just blanked for a second.”

Shame and guilt sweep under her skin. Who is she to throw her half-baked suspicions onto him? She's probably on edge from Yeona’s kidnapping and seeing that blond foreigner that had thrown Ijin off for days. Right now, she’s just jumping to conclusions about who or what this boy is with only a gut feeling and circumstantial evidence.

From now on, Dayeon would just treat him as a— a normal boy.

In recompense, she offers him the ice-cold soda and he takes it confusedly. “We still have to pay?”

“It's for your bruise,” she says, gently tapping the side of her own jaw.

He blinks, startled. “Oh. Thank you.”

“No problem. Did you want to buy this or are you ready to pay?”

“Pay, please.”

Isak trails after her, soda to his cheek as he watches her pay. They make their way onto the porch, and as soon as she dumps all the food on the table, Isak gobbles it up like it's his last meal.

"You should leave some for spending next time. I wasn't expecting you to pay me back,” says Dayeon as Isak chomps down on the kimbaps.

"Of course I should pay you back. You're not supposed to wait until you have extra to pay someone back for their help." Isak scoffs.

"True," Dayeon counters with a smile. "But haven't you ever heard the saying, 'kindness is free'?"

The boy lets out a sharp, barking laugh like she’s said something hilarious. “Not from where I’m from.”

“Well, then clearly you didn’t grow up in the right place,” says Dayeon.

Isak stares at her, a curious, surprised, studying look appearing as he takes her in consideration. After a moment, his mouth twitches into something of a smile. “Maybe,” he agrees softly.

There's a beat of awkward silence as the two teenagers stare at each other until Dayeon clears her throat and gestures to the food. Isak flushes and digs in.

Dayeon can't help but stare at him while he's busy eating.

She didn't really notice the last time they met, but this was her first time seeing the boy in a real light instead of being cast in shadows or the dim glow of the convenience store.

His face is fair and slender, wisps of blond hair escaping his black cap. His lashes were blond, but they were long and thick and in the dying sun, cast shadows under the startling red-colored eyes that Dayeon first noticed.

He was actually… really pretty.

Dayeon knows that pretty isn’t really something that should describe a boy, but she didn’t know how else to describe him. He just… was.

Were all Western boys this pretty?

His eyes flick up questioningly, and Dayeon practically jumps when she meets his gaze.

“So, how old are you?” Dayeon blurts out the first question that comes to mind.

“Me? I'm seventeen…”

Dayeon gasps, a pleasantly surprised smile blooming. “You're my age.”

“R-Really? We're the same exact age?” Isak looks up, shocked, like he’s never spoken to another person the same age before.

“Yup, I’m seventeen years old too!” Dayeon beams. “Let’s speak comfortably now!”

“O-Okay. Do what you want…”

Dayeon looks at the kimbap he’s eating longingly. She’s feeling kind of hungry right now, but it would be rude to eat the food she had bought for Isak when he was likely much more hungry than she was. Isak notices her staring and nudges a kimbap towards her with a slight smile.

“You’re from overseas, right?” Dayeon asks, gratefully taking the kimbap from him.

“Yeah, I’m traveling right now.”

“With your friends?”

“By myself.”

“By yourself?” Dayeon exclaims, far too loud.

Isak flinches. “Y-Yeah.”

Dayeon had to physically bite back the concerned questions rising up from her tongue. Why on earth was a kid her age traveling all alone? Where was his family?

(Who even was he?)

“Oh wow. You’re traveling all alone? How many countries have you been to?” Dayeon asks once she’s sure the concern won’t leak into her voice. At least her question is genuine in its awe and curiosity.

“I dunno, I never counted, but probably over twenty countries…” Isak trails off and shrugs, obviously relieved she isn’t pressing his traveling alone-ness.

“Whoa… you must really like to travel,” comments Dayeon.

“Not really, I just sort of ended up with this job where I usually have to travel to different countries to complete different assignments.” Isak fiddles with the cap of his soda, and Dayeon clocks in on the nervous gesture instantly.

(Not telling the full truth, then. Hiding something.)

“What about you?” Isak asks, and Dayeon snaps out of it.

“Huh?”

“You seem really interested in going abroad. Your eyes lit up,” says Isak, then seems to immediately regret admitting to paying that much attention to her. His face turns bright red, and he stutters, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“It’s alright. You’re right anyway,” Dayeon laughs good-naturedly. “What person wouldn’t like to travel to other countries? I’ve stayed in Korea my whole life. I’ve never even left Seoul.”

“Why not?” Isak asks curiously.

Dayeon shrugs. “Money expenses, mostly. Going abroad is pretty expensive, and I don’t have that kind of money.” She thinks of the first time she and Yeona had met up after she’d returned from America and how she had devoured the stories Yeona had from overseas. She had brushed off the question of wanting to study abroad, but secretly, in the darkest corner of her heart, she wanted to go.

But then if she did, her grandpa would be all alone… and Ijin too…

“Not to mention, my family’s here. I would get homesick.” Her lips curl in a slightly wry smile. Maybe she just wasn’t meant for traveling.

“Oh,” says Isak quietly. He looks like he wants to say something else, but ultimately stays silent.

Dayeon studies him for a bit. He looks lost in thought, forlorn, and runs his slender finger around the soda can again and again. Strangely enough, she finds that she doesn’t like that expression on him.

“What about you?”

“Huh?”

“You must speak a lot of different languages if you're traveling all over the place,” says Dayeon. “You’re Korean is very good. How long have you been studying?”

The boy flushes but can’t hide the proud smile on his face. “A few months.”

“A few months?” Dayeon splutters, and the boy laughs.

(He has a nice laugh.)

“Yeah. I also speak English, Mandarin, and Arabic. I know a bit of Spanish, too. And—” he cuts off when he sees the slack-jawed look on her face and laughs again.

“You know that many languages?” Dayeon stutters, disbelief written all over her face. "And you learned Korean in just a couple of months? How is that even possible?”

“To be fair, I knew a bit of Korean before I started to learn it. There were a couple of Korean missionaries in the place I grew up, and I had a… friend, who spoke it when we first met, so I sort of understood the basics. To be honest, the one who knew the most Korean was my broth—”

Isak stops, his smile freezing as his fingers tighten around the soda until indents appear in the metal. He suddenly looks lost, red-colored eyes flickering, and biting down on his lip so hard she’s surprised it’s not bleeding.

Dayeon swallows; a sudden knot in her stomach.

Oh. She’s hit a sore spot, hasn’t she?

“I’m sorry,” she offers, quietly. She recognizes that grief-look on his face.

The boy snaps his eyes up, looking like he is about to snarl, ‘What does sorry even do?’ when he sees her eyes and realizes how genuine she is; how honest. She knew, better than anyone, that sorrys couldn’t take back the time spent in pain from loss. But as she grew older, she realized that people said them because they were offering condolences, showing their sympathy, offering support to ease the burden of grief. It wasn’t to make them magically feel better, it wasn't meant to do anything, it was—

It was just meant to tell them, subtly, that they cared.

He nods, and the grip on his can slowly relax. Silence grows between them, and she feels awkward and guilty for being the cause of it.

“So how long will you be in Korea?” Dayeon asks.

Isak pauses, a strange expression crossing his face. “... Until I'm done with things here,” he says, like something final.

Dayeon can sense the undercurrent of something but decides not to press it. “I see. You must be staying nearby since I ran into you again.”

“No, I just had something to take care of here… but I guess you live around here?” He suddenly straightens, eyes wide as a hand covers his mouth. “Ah, that's a rude question, isn't it?”

Dayeon laughs. “No it's not. My school is nearby—”

The next following moments happen in the span of three seconds.

Dayeon screams as out of nowhere Ijin tackles Isak, sending the food tumbling to the ground and the table flying as they grapple.

In the blink of an eye, Ijin snatches a single chopstick and tries stabbing it into Isak's eye. Isak grabs his wrist, barely blocking it, and Ijin snatches another chopstick with his other hand and slashes at him. Isak twists his neck to dodge, releasing his grip. The air shrivels up in her lungs when Isak kicks Ijin right in his broken ribs. Ijin falters with pain, and Isak is able to push him off and spring to his feet, her brother doing the same.

Dayeon’s feet are frozen to the ground. The whole fight happened so fast, and it was lethal. If Isak hadn’t dodged the slash to the neck, it would’ve hit an artery.

Ijin would’ve killed him.

Over her brother's shoulder, Dayeon meets Isak's eyes wildly. His eyes flicker to her before turning back to Ijin.

And then he begins speaking in a foreign language.

Dayeon feels her heart stop.

The language is guttural, tongue-twisting, and undeniably unlike any language Dayeon has ever heard. But she recognizes it. She recognizes it because she’s heard it before.

(Yeona’s kidnappers spoke it. That blond foreigner man spoke it.

Ijin spoke it.)

Dayeon finally finds her voice.

“Ijin?”

They both stop.

“Ijin, what are you doing here? What's going on?” Dayeon says desperately.

Ijin doesn't turn to look at her. “You should get out of here, now.”

“Huh? What do you mean…” Dayeon's voice drifts off as she notices the dangerous look in his eyes. He's looking past her, right at Isak, like he’s a threat, like he’s dangerous. She recognizes that look… it was the same one he had worn when he rescued her from Yeona’s kidnappers.

Cold and ruthless, just like how he fought.

Dayeon's eyes drop down to his shirt, and to her horror she sees it bloodied, his side slashed. Was he stabbed?

“Ijin, you're bleeding…” she whispers.

“You two… know each other?” A voice breaks through her panic, and she turns to see Isak staring at them.

“Huh? He’s my brother.”

“As in…”

“My older brother.” Dayeon says.

Isak struggles to keep his face from showing anything and fails spectacularly.

“I'm sorry, he's not usually like this. There must be some sort of misunderstanding…” Dayeon falters off when she sees the look on the boy's face. It's harsh and disbelieving. The boy looks nothing like the one she'd been happily chatting with a minute ago, and it makes Dayeon come to a chilling realization.

Right. How well can she know a boy she only met a day ago?

Ijin moves in front of her, protecting her. “Can you give us a moment, Dayeon?” He speaks up.

Dayeon jolts. “Huh?”

Ijin stares at the boy, hard and intense as he glares right back. She can feel a fight rearing up, the tension crackling in the air.

Dayeon wants to say no. She wants to argue. But as she gazes between the two of them, she knew she had no place here.

“… Okay.”

Dayeon walks off the porch, her heart racing and legs numb as she leaves the two of them standing there. Even though they’re busy glaring at each other, she can still somehow feel their eyes burning into her back until she rounds the corner of a building and leaves their sight.

As soon as she does she doubles over, gasping. Her heart is pounding out of her chest and her legs are weak and shaking.

The fighting skills. The mannerisms. The foreign language. The tattoo.

This boy was a part of Ijin’s past.

And she had left him alone with him.

Dayeon pokes her head out from the pillar she is hiding behind. Right now, her brother and the boy aren't currently fighting, but if they did, Dayeon had one hand on her cell phone, ready to call the police. While she doubted they could do anything, at least it would break up the fight and send the boy running.

Ready to duck if they looked her way, Dayeon watches as the tension slowly works its way out of the atmosphere. Suddenly, Ijin bends down… and starts picking up the trash? Dayeon blinks, hardly able to believe her eyes as the boy he had previously tried to murder, the one who had been glaring daggers at her brother like he was his most hated enemy, bent down to help him.

Dayeon gapes, rubs her eyes, and wonders if she’s dreaming.

The two finish cleaning, and the boy begins walking away before he suddenly looks up— and meets her eyes. Dayeon startles, and even he looks surprised. Ijin joins the boy, and they exchange a few words before Ijin makes his way towards her while the boy hangs back.

Dayeon hurries over to Ijin. “Are you okay?” She asks urgently.

Ijin looks down at her, at the worry pouring off her in waves, and softens. “I'm fine,” he says.

“Is… he okay?” Dayeon glances at the boy, who is anxiously hovering a few feet away. He jumps when he meets her eyes.

“ … Yes. You don't need to worry, Dayeon,” says Ijin.

“Good. Then I want to talk to him.” She looks up at Ijin boldly. “Alone.”

Her brother looks like he's about to argue before he stops. He takes in the stubborn set of her shoulders and the way her lips draw into a firm line and knows there's no dissuading her.

Dayeon takes a deep breath, looks over at the boy, and refuses to show her nerves. He was fine. She was fine. Ijin wouldn't allow him near her if he was going to attack her, nor would he be acting all buddy-buddy if they weren't friends.

Dayeon slowly approaches the boy, giving him plenty of time to panic.

“So.” Dayeon says. Just because he and Ijin were on good terms now doesn't mean she's about to go easy on him.

“So.” The boy echoes. He looks mildly afraid of what she's about to say next.

“Would it be wrong of me to assume that you were the one who stabbed my brother?” Dayeon goes right for the throat.

The boy pales. “Um—”

“And would it be a shot in the dark to assume that your business in Korea has suddenly ended and you have to leave?” Dayeon arches her brow.

The boy looks like he quite possibly wants to die on the spot. Dayeon wonders if it's possible for the blood to both rush to your face and leave it at the same time.

“I—I'm sorry,” the boy blurts out almost desperately. His hands wring nervously. “It was a misunderstanding.”

Dayeon says nothing but shows that she's listening. The boy continues rambling. “I thought— I thought your brother had something to do with my brother, and I was angry and impulsive, so I came here without thinking. But it turns out I was wrong and my brother is alive. But, um— I'm sorry for attacking your brother. And dragging you in it. It was— I didn’t mean for it to happen.” The boy’s eyes are wide and sincere as he fumbles through his apology.

Dayeon studies him for a long time. “... I believe you,” she says, and means it. From the look on the boy's face, she can tell he's surprised she does too.

“I just have one question,” she says, and he tenses. “Your name.”

“Huh?”

“The name you gave me. Isak. Was it your real name, or a fake one?”

The boy stares at her.

Dayeon had just blurted out the question and now immediately felt embarrassed under the boy’s gaze. Heat rises to her cheeks.

Well, too late to take it back now.

To be honest, Dayeon wasn't really sure why she asked that. She has lots of questions, and he likely had lots of answers. She doubted he would have told her the full truth, but the point is that she could have asked him anything.

But for some reason, the only thing she can focus on is his name.

(She knew, vaguely, that names were important where they came from. It was the only thing that couldn't be taken away from them.)

The boy stares at her, studying, suspicious, like he is trying to see if she has any ulterior motives. Dayeon keeps her eyes genuine and posture open, letting him see she isn’t hiding anything. Her heart is beating rapidly, and she’s strangely nervous, but she hopes he can see her.

Finally, he relaxes, and a small smile crosses his face. “Yeah, it is.”

“Really? That's your real name?” Happiness bursts from her chest.

“Yeah,” Isak smiles.

(He has a nice smile, too.)

“Right.” Dayeon sighs and leans back on her heels. “Well, that's all I wanted to ask. Thank you for answering my question… Isak.”

“No problem… Dayeon.” Isak turns scarlet when he says her name.

“Good luck in whatever you have to do,” says Dayeon. “And take care.”

“Thank you,” replies Isak. He hesitates, then almost sheepishly, adds “... you too.”

Dayeon beams.

Ijin approaches, and Isak jumps in what looks like fear and before backing up from her. Dayeon raises a hand to wave goodbye, and with a small smile hidden under his cap, Isak does the same.

Now for Ijin.

“So you two knew each other?” Dayeon asks once Isak leaves.

Ijin jumps. “Yeah.”

“Then why were you so harsh earlier?” Dayeon watches him closely. She knew she had said not to ask anything about his past, but she wasn’t really breaking her promise. He had attacked a kid out in the open and then made up with him in the next ten minutes. Surely he was expecting her to ask some questions about that?

But she had literally seen him try to stab someone’s eye out with a chopstick, so she was curious about what kind of excuse he would come up with—

“I thought some weird guy was hitting on you because you are pretty,” Ijin whips out, cool as can be.

Dayeon’s jaw drops. “What?”

She stares at Ijin.

Ijin stares back.

They both just stood there, staring at each other blankly for what feels like forever.

“Let’s just… let’s just go back home,” Dayeon manages faintly.

“Alright. Are you going to tell Grandpa about this?”

“Only if you don’t let me stitch up that wound, I will.”

***

It isn’t until much later when it hits her.

After Dayeon had done an appropriate amount of fussing over Ijin’s wound and had cleaned and bandaged it before he had kindly but firmly kicked her out of his room so he could brood, she was sitting in her room contemplating the day.

Meeting Isak had revealed a lot about Ijin and his past today. She closes her eyes, her thoughts flying around like a whirlwind in her brain: comrades and numbers and fighting; quick-to-kill hands, secret names, and tattoos. Even though there was animosity, it’s clear there’s some sort of innate trust in each other. Bonds are hard to break, after all.

That blond man that came before Isak— he’s another one of Ijin’s old comrades. Yet when they saw each other, they were eyeing each other like predators ready to kill one another instead of friends. Old comrades — friends — but ready to kill each other on a moment's notice.

(Who’s notice?)

Dayeon sighs and opens her eyes. It seems the more conclusions she comes to leave more questions to be answered. It feels like there is a string being drawn in her chest, slowly becoming tighter and tighter the more Ijin’s secrecy piles up. She fears one day it might snap, and whatever emotions she has carefully stored away will come breaking out.

Dayeon absently scrawls 032 in her notebook. She wonders if he’s somehow managed to leave the country yet, or if he’s still in the city. It would be hard to leave Korea without any money—

Her brain screeches to a halt. Wait. He didn't have any money. He was broke. Which means he likely wouldn't be able to eat for who-knows-how-long again.

Dayeon jumps to her feet and begins knocking on Ijin’s door frantically. “Ijin! Ijin, open up!” She whispers.

After a moment, he pokes his head out, dressed in new clothes. “Dayeon? What is it?”

“We need to go to the convenience store. Now.” She says urgently. “Do you have your wallet?”

To his credit, Ijin doesn't question her even though he looks extremely confused. He nods, and soon he and Dayeon are on their way to the convenience store by their apartment.

“Why are we going to the store in the middle of the night?” Ijin asks.

“Your friend,” Dayeon begins, and ignores the way he subtly tenses. “He's broke. I forgot to mention it to you, but that's the reason you found us eating together. He was starving so I offered to pay for his food.”

Whatever Ijin is expecting her to say, it certainly isn't that.

“Oh,” he says. “You gave him food?” For a split-second she can see fondness for his old comrade — no matter what history there was — play on the shadows of his face.

“Yeah. And we’re going to buy him food now. Do you have any idea where he’s staying?”

“A couple but…” Ijin hesitates. “You can’t come.” It might be dangerous, is what’s left unsaid, and she doesn’t argue.

“So I won't be able to see him again?” Dayeon asks. “That's too bad. I thought he was pretty cute.”

Ijin trips on the curb as they enter the convenience store.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No!”

“Yes!”

Dayeon laughs at the scandalized expression her brother wears as he buries his face in his hands. He looks like he regrets this entire conversation. Dayeon flits around the store, grabbing food and drinks from the shelves like a storm. Ijin watches her and pulls out his wallet when she joins him by the cashier.

The lady begins scanning and bagging the items and Dayeon’s hand lingers on one of the packages. It's one of the meals she had spotted Isak wanting, but didn’t buy because she was paying.

Dayeon stares at the packaged meal, and in a split-second decision, digs into her bag and pulls out a sticky note. Ignores Ijin, who has given up all pretenses of busying himself with paying and is blatantly staring, and writes down a note.

Dayeon caps the pen, forces down her embarrassed hesitation, and smooths the sticky note down on the plastic. She fixes Ijin with a stern look. “No. Peeking.”

“What’s so important about that note that I can’t even see it?” Ijin scowls— no, sulks.

“It’s nothing,” Dayeon says quickly. “Really. Just… an inside joke.”

Ijin raises an eyebrow about that, likely wondering how Dayeon and Isak had gotten around to sharing inside jokes, but thankfully doesn’t press the issue.

The woman who was checking out their items — and Ijin, by default — looks jealous of her boldness.

Dayeon avoids each of their gazes.

***

Isak finally threads the last stitch through his flesh and gasps in pain. It’s been around half an hour since 001 had come and saved his life, and he had finally managed to patch up all the injuries Aiden had left him.

He eyes his blood-soaked hoodie crumpled in a corner and scowls. Aiden, that bastard; that was his favorite hoodie. Blood took forever to get out. That coward had almost managed to bring him down with an ambush— if he had fought him head on, there was no chance the mercenary would’ve been able to land as many hits as he did.

He pants, giving himself a moment to calm his heart and settle his thoughts. He had to get back to The Camp quick, before whatever assholes they sent next decided to fuck him up even more. He is in no condition to fight, and the thought of moving caused him physical pain right now, but he has to get out of here before whatever shady cleanup crew 001 got his hands on in this country came over.

Isak eyes the plastic bag on his right. 001 had said his sister had told him he was broke and had bought him food.

… Maybe he can stay for a quick meal. Now that the immediate danger is gone and his pain has subsided into a dull ache, he’s actually feeling kind of hungry. 001 had already dragged Aiden’s ass out of his hideout, and it would take some time before someone came to clean up the evidence. He has time.

With a groan, Isak reaches over and hooks his fingers into the plastic to drag it forward. The bag is bulging with the amount of food stuffed into it. Isak roots through the packages and recognizes some of them as the food he had been eyeing at the convenience store when he was with 001’s sister.

His fingers brush against something odd. Frowning, Isak pulls out a plastic package of food— with a sticky note attached. He peels off the note.

Don’t forget kindness is free, but if you really want to pay me back, then remember to come back and say hello!

— Dayeon

He can’t help but laugh. He laughs until his ribs hurt; until he’s breathless and his cheeks ache from grinning ear to ear.

Holy shit. That girl is something else.

From the very beginning she’s made an impact on him; he doubts he can ever forget her if he tried. She paid for his food when he was starving— and went even more by leaving every piece of money in her wallet for him because she knew he needed it more than she did.

When they met again, she was still kind, still caring: offering him companionship, sympathy, care— even though they were practically strangers. He thinks of her kindness that is so rare from where he’s from, her knowing eyes, her secret smiles.

It was so weird; in the short time they met, he’d been so aware of her. She had gotten him to let his guard down in such a short period of time; she’d gotten him to talk about his childhood, about his brother—

Even when he had almost fucked up and killed her brother, she gave a chance to explain himself and apologize— and she accepted. She forgave him, and now, was leaving him with a final gift.

Haven’t you ever heard the saying kindness is free?

He rubs his thumb over the ink on the sticky note. He still didn��t believe that, still believed that kindness can still be used as a way to stab someone in the back, but—

He guesses with Dayeon, it might be true.

***

#teenage mercenary #mercenary enrollment #yu dayeon #yu ijin #032 #032 & Dayeon #just wanted to expand upon their meeting a little more #dayeon knows because she is sweet not oblivious #dayeon is sassy #dayeon is basically a detective #if you can't tell i love dayeon yu #i imagine 032 has one of those faces that turn into a tomato when embarrassed… which is a lot. his face is so readable

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ngatwa · 5 months

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I want people to realize that Doctor Who literally raised me. For me it's not just a show, it's something special and magical that literally saved me from dying of depression.

I started watching Doctor Who when I was 14. My teens were a really rough time. I was raised by a narcissistic mom who beat me regularly. I had undiagnosed autism, ADHD, and anxiety. I didn't know what was happening to me, I just knew I was struggling. I had no real friends and was bullied at school really badly. My environment was extremely homophobic and at 15 I started to realize I don't like boys. All of that resulted in serious depression.

Doctor Who was one of the few things that brought joy to my life back then. I was that kid who rewatched their favourite episodes literally hundreds of times (I'm really autistic, yeah), read books, listened to audio plays by Big Finish, wanted to marry River Song... I still do all that stuff today.

But the show did more than that! There was no one in my life who could have raised me properly, so I unconsciously started to raise myself. And all my knowledge about the world, about what's good and bad, was based on Doctor Who. Over time, other role models appeared but most of my worldview is still shaped by Doctor Who. I grew up the opposite of my mom and all my relatives.

Now, more than ten years later, I'm still watching new episodes and have those same feelings I did as a teen - that I can overcome all my problems as long as I have Doctor Who in my life, the joy of going on adventures with the Doctor and companions, that I can be a better person, that I can beat all my own monsters... My life is changing but Doctor Who is still a constant that never went away and never will.

I have other fandoms I've been part of for about 10 years but none is as special to me as Doctor Who.

#doctor who #tw depression #tw child abuse #tw bullying #tw homophobia #river song #the doctor #my silly little thoughts

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lilithsaga · 3 months

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15 Questions for 15 Friends

Tagged by @emery-matsushita-vt (Thank youuuuu~!)

Are you named after anyone?

Yes, I am named after the first and most well-known succubus, Lilith. It is a common name among succubi, as I also have a great grandmother with the same name.

When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday. I've always been a crybaby. But at least it was a good cry yesterday... from someone unexpected complimenting my writing ability. 🥹

Do you have kids?

Hell no! I can't even take care of myself, let alone a kid. I'm not putting children through that.

What sports do/have you played?

Fencing... at least in University. Who doesn't want to stab people with swords? And the fencing community itself is actually really supportive and friendly. I actually met my current partner through fencing. (If you love someone, stab them with an epee) 🤺

Do you use sarcasm?

On occasion, but I don't think I use it often enough. When I was younger, I had a hard time understanding sarcasm and still struggle with it today every once in a while. It's just hard to tell sometimes whether a person is joking or being genuine/passive aggressive. When I use sarcasm, I try to go over the top with inflection to try and make it obvious I'm joking. Just want to make it easier for others.

What is the first thing you notice about people?

How they make me feel. I get this is supposed to be a physical description thing, but I usually won't pay attention to someone unless they have something that gets a reaction out of me. If they wear a shirt I like, I notice. If they successfully throw a ball of paper in the trash while yelling "Michael Jordan," I notice. If they like one of my comments online, I notice. All of those things make me feel joy and help me notice the person who did the thing. 😊

What's your eye color?

Purple 🟣

Scary movies, or happy endings?

Happy endings. Yeah, it's cliche, but I feel bad for people who don't reach a satisfying conclusion. And scary movies can be fun, but I watch them more for the story than the jump scares and grotesque aesthetics. It's great if a movie makes me uncomfortable with it's writing, but being uncomfy isn't something I like feeling.

Any talents?

None that I feel confident enough in to be deemed "Ultimate" or "Super High School Level" but I am able to write words on a page... so that's a thing, right?

Where were you born?

The American Underworld. To compare it to somewhere in the Overworld, I guess you could say I live in the Midwestern United States.

What are your hobbies?

Writing, video editing, gaming, listening to video essays, watching vtubers, reading fanfiction, daydreaming about random nonsensical things.

Do you have any pets?

Nope, never grew up with any and never felt comfortable taking care of one for the longest time. But my partner has a cat that I would protecc with my last dying breath.

How tall are you?

I am 5' 6" which is about average female height I think?

Favorite subject in school?

Creative writing. No surprise huh? English was okay, but other students made it disruptive and teachers focused more on sentence diagrams than actual storytelling.

Dream job?

I would love to do vtubing full-time, but don't think it will ever be realistic. I wish I had more time to write and create fictional worlds. But if I can't find the words, I also wouldn't mind video editing and slicing segments in a timeline to create a story that way.

...

Uhhh... oh shit! Now I have to tag 15 friends? Hmmmm... well Emery already tagged Tor and Axo... among others I know... *realizes I don't have a big friend group at all* uhhhhhh okay okay. I call upon the power of friends and mutuals!!

@yuzu-adagio @drakamut @azure-shades-of-blue @marvellovelacevt @draconick @slash-gallagher @vchuuberyl @overlord-jarvis @aurumatom @itsdracool @maidgamerclaire @saliferousanimations @moonfeatherblue @sisallacertavt @hatenayuri

Sorry if you've already been tagged or are not interested in doing these kinds of things! Totally allowed to ignore this! But I just think y'all are cool and deserve to let others know more about you if you wanna.

Thank you for reading!!

#vtuber #pngtuber #indie vtuber #tag game #15 questions #mutuals #moots #ily all

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that-one-rat-in-the-cupboard · 10 months

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Warning! Good Omens S2 Spoilers ahead!

I was listening to sad-ish love songs today at work and started piecing together a poem, which I quickly realized could be used for post-S2 Crowley, and then this was born. I really like it and I hope you all do, too! Az is literally just me. I dress like that, Az is my name, the only difference is hair but I'm getting mine done on my birthday the same way story-me has theirs done. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

P.S. I'll be posting the poem on its own right after I post this if you wanna ty and analyze it or something (:

----------------------------------------------------

Talk, Don't Speak.

----------------------------------------------------

The pub was surprisingly packed for a Wednesday night. Nearly every seat was taken and the only reason Crowley had been able to secure a table to himself is largely because of the harsh glares he shot to anyone who dared try to sit with him. It was 7 p.m. when he finally found out why the pub had been so packed; there was a poem reading event tonight. His first thought was that this was something Aziraphale would probably really enjoy attending, maybe even being one of the readers. The thought alone nearly made him leave, but his curiosity won him over. He hadn’t seen anyone recite poetry since around the time Shakespeare was around. So he stayed, and he half-listened to the poets reading their works. None of them caught his attention very well, so he didn’t really bother listening much.

Then someone named Az walked onto the stage. They were dressed simply, but the outfit was still eye-catching. They wore a skin-tight black button-down, a loose white tie, a flowy black skirt that reached around their mid-thigh, white tights, and green high tops with various black sketchy designs drawn on the sides. They had a few piercings on their face and various bracelets lining their forearms. Some were leather, some studded, some were made of thread, and some even had beads woven in. They had a few silver rings along their fingers. Their hair was choppy and reached just past their shoulders, the very front pieces bleached white and the rest dyed black.

What had initially caught Crowley’s attention was the announcer calling the person’s name, as it sounded like he was about to say Aziraphale, but, much to Crowley’s relief, and dismay, it wasn’t Aziraphale, just someone with an odd name. He rested his head back on his arms, fully intent on zoning out and continuing to drown his stomach with wine, but once they started talking, he couldn’t help but listen.

“Hello, everyone!” Az smiled kindly and waved to the crowd, one hand on the mic, “As you heard, my name is Az. I’ve been writing stories since I was a kid and I’ve been writing poetry since high school. Tonight I am going to be reading a recent piece of mine titled ‘Talk, Don’t Speak.”

They took a moment to take a deep breath, likely to calm any nerves they had, and then began to speak.

“I like you. Not in the way two friends like each other, though. No, I like you in the way whales like to sing. I like you in the way the stars like to shine. I like you in the way sea foam likes to border the shore. I like you in the way yeast likes to grow. I like you in the way I like like you…but it feels like you don’t like me the same.

“It feels like you like me like a parasite. Feeding off me and keeping me here so you can grow and become stronger. You drain me of my blood, sweat, and tears, yet you keep me nearby. But that’s the problem, you don’t feel like a parasite. You being around fills me with light and warmth, two things I swore I abandoned years ago. Yet here they are, seeping into my lungs and my heart only when you are near. You break down the walls that I’ve built and warmed the cold blade of my heart. Then you left.

“It feels like a tincture but you’ve left me bleeding out on the cold wood of your living room floor. It hurts so much that I am compelled to say “Et tu Brute?” But if you were the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden, then I would be Eve, and I wouldn’t take just one bite. I’d devour you whole, unhinge my serpent jaw and swallow your smile, your laugh, your heart…saying it makes me wonder if ‘like’ is even the right word.

“…No. It’s not. It never has been, has it? I guess I just never noticed, but we both know I’m just a coward. I speak but I never talk. Can I talk to you one more time?

“I’ve avoided saying it for far too long, so I will say it now as my Holy Water tears burn canals into my cheeks and chin…

“I love you.”

The pub was quiet for a moment before people began snapping in applause. Crowley was frozen. Had this person been stalking him for 6 thousand years or something? Were they some demon or angel in disguise? They didn’t seem like they were…were they psychic? How on earth was their poetry so close to what Crowley had been dealing with lately? After Az took a bow, they exited the stage and the announcer took their place, announcing the next poet. Crowley’s eyes didn’t leave Az, though. He watched as they walked to a booth next to the stage with a few other poets. Az gathered up their coat and their leather bag before bidding farewell and hugging the walls of the pub before leaving. Crowley quickly followed.

They ended up stopping at a bus stop, sitting on the bench and patiently waiting for the next bus. Crowley sauntered over and sat beside her, “That was quite the poem.”

Az smiled softly and looked at him, “Thank you. I’m glad you liked it. Did it resonate with you?”

Crowley scrunched his face up a bit and shrugged, “Eugh, you could say that. Who was the inspiration for it?”

“Hm? Oh, no one.” Az smiled and turned their head back to the road.

Crowley’s eyes widened and he quickly snapped his head to look at them, “What?”

“Yup,” they enunciated the ‘p’ with a pop, “None of my love-based poems are inspired by someone. Well, unless it’s a heartbreak one. Those are usually inspired by someone.”

Crowley sat up a bit more and waved his hand around, the one not holding a half-empty wine bottle, as he spoke, “So, that whole thing, not inspired by anyone? Anyone at all?”

“Nope.” she enunciated the ‘p’ once again.

“Then how did you write it? Got the story from a friend and turned it into a poem?”

“Nope. I listened to sad love songs that aren't super popular. Love songs from people who aren’t famous or well-known or even have a lot of followers. I listen to songs from people who maybe have a few hundred or thousand followers.”

“Why?” Crowley didn’t understand, but he desperately wanted to now.

“Because they’re the people I see every day. They’re the people that aren't rich. They’re struggling with things most other people do. They don’t have a trust fund and sometimes that music is the only thing they have to support them. They’re real. More real than nearly every famous person. I want to write for people who struggle and cry and laugh, and try to thrive when they’re merely surviving. People like me. I take what they say, as well as some of my own experiences, and before long the words are spilling from my fingertips and onto the page.”

Crowley stared at Az for a moment before leaning his head back to rest on the back of the bench, thinking. After a few moments, Az spoke once more, “You said you resonated with my poem, right?”

“Nn..yeh.” Crowly half-shrugged.

“Did you talk to them? Tell them how you felt?”

Crowley sat up, getting ready to leave as he felt deja’vu from his conversation with Nina and Maggie, “Course I did. Told ‘m everything and he left.”

“Did you talk to him, or did you speak.”

Crowley froze for the second time that night, his eyes gazing past his dark glasses and into bright hazel ones. He had spoken. It was unsaid, but they both knew. After a moment, Az turned to her leather bag and began to undo the clasps on the front of it, “I want you to have something.”

Crowley didn’t say anything as they pulled out a black, hard-cover book. Crowley’s immediate reaction was to say he didn’t read, but something ineffable convinced him to keep quiet, so he did. Az then held the book out to him, “You don’t have to read it, you don’t even have to open it. Hell, you can chuck it in the trash for all I care, but at least take it.”

Crowley saw from over Az’s shoulder that the bus was just rounding the corner. He hesitated, but they kept the book held out to him. He looked back into them and with how intently they were looking at him he could have sworn they were looking right through his glasses. Just as the bus parked in front of the stop and opened its doors, he snatched the book. Az smiled despite it and boarded the bus without another word.

— — — — — —

Rain pelted against the hood of the Bently, it being the only sound to accompany the intoxicated demon. His head was resting on the handle of the steering wheel, staring at the black book in his passenger seat. The back was facing up, and it only had a short sentence printed in white ink that read;

“Sincerely,

Az R. A.

<>”

Crowley hadn’t touched the book since Az gave it to him over a week ago. It had sat in his passenger seat since then, collecting dust. He had debated throwing it out several times, but something in him refused to let him toss it. Finally, he decided tonight was the night he would at least read the title and open it. So he grabbed it, wiped off the little dust on it, and read the cover that was printed in the same white ink;

Az’s

Total and Complete Collection of

Love, Heartbreak, and Everything in Between:

A Guide.

Crowley huffed out a breath and flipped it open to the first page. On it was a short, hand-written note;

“To whomever I have given his book to, I hope it helps you. I wish you the best, and I hope the contents of this book provide you the words you need to Talk.

-Az R. A.

<>”

There was a date in the top right corner of the page. The note was from 2020. Crowley wanted to think about it for a moment, but that nagging feeling in him convinced him to keep going. To keep reading. So he did. There were poems about love heartbreak, and everything in between, just as Az had promised in their title. The book wasn’t long, but it was packed full of metaphors, clever lines, euphemisms, and most importantly��emotion. The last poem ended in the middle of the page with three dots, the right page completely blank, but the poem didn’t seem to be over. Hesitantly, though he didn’t know why he was, he turned the page to read the final line;

“In the end, this isn’t a guide. It is a mere suggestion.”

#good omens #aziraphale #good omens crowley #crowley #crowley x aziraphale #good omens aziraphale #good omens s2 #aziracrow #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 #Poem #Writing #Self-insert #sort of?

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janisbuggybones · 7 months

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---->An explanation of the story I want to tell<----

---->Nothing goes right and the everlasting need the characters feel to just be happy is never fulfilled, or maybe it is?

---->The only person to see this is my best friend because it started out as a role play thing but further into it I realized this was the story I wanted to tell.

--->Not one where Janis is a gangster volleyball player that has it all and so much more to the point its sickening.

---->Not one where Janis dies via suicide and reincarnates fresh as new the next day.

---->Not one where Janis is so disgustingly gross to the point I wonder what the hell was wrong with me.

---->The story I'm meant to write is one similar to Owari no Seraph, in its complicated and has tragic history but also to Noragami, in that it has a hierarchy of humanoid gods and the main characters dont want everything, just happiness. But it's neither really, because the story I want to tell is named "Apples and Bugs" (working title idrk) and under the cut is an analysis and further explanation towards everything that want to happen.

First, as spoken by the former archangel Luca, now a fallen angel.

"Yep. She was Adam and eikko was Eve and they were the beginning of humans. I'm sure if it wouldn't kill eikko, I could make her remember that far into her past." He said "but anyway, earth started out as it's said in textbooks, evolution and all that stuff led to dinosaurs. But then the gods popped into existance to earth and wiped out most life to make it more advanced with the introduction of humans. The God of God's, amaryllis, made Janis from her own rib and then eikko from Janis' rib to make who Christians know as Adam and eve. Though this happened hundreds of times as they kept dying and dying, until they accidentally created vampires and magic, which allowed Adam and eve to survive finally." He said

___________________________________________________

To start, Janis is Adam, a man born near Korea when the earth was in its beta stages, meaning the little islands that make up Japan are on the continent of Asia currently. Eikko is born what would be called Japanese today and so Is Janis, though in most of her renditions, she's Korean.

The reason planets and everything are there is because of just suddenly the universe imploded sometime and made everything (following the big bang theory I guess). That included the God of God's, Amaryllis, who was born from an incredible supernova bringing a being of pure energy to sentience.

She found earth and decided to have some fun because at this point, she had been alone for aeons upon aeons. She sees the beginning stages of earth, bacteria and mostly water, and sees it as her canvas. Under her watch, the world evolves like in most textbooks, up until the dinosaurs, at which she wipes her slate mostly clean to make way for none other than all the Adam's and Eve's. Then she expirements to keep her creations alive longer, and incidentally creates magic and vampires. Adam is able to drink blood to keep himself alive and Eve can turn her energy into magic that can make sustenance, making a small food chain. It took a few incarnations before Adam realized he needed Eve to survive, instead of drinking all her blood right away. This built their relationship as Adam dependant on Eve, leading to all future vampires treating women like goddesses because Eve helped vampires thrive in their early days.

___________________________________________________

"The top 10 gods did similar expirements all over the world and it culminated in the birth of multiple civilizations all over the world. Janis lives on for longer than eikko as she eventually dies as a human. Janis then killed herself and they hit their first reincarnation. The gods were shocked at this, but watched in happiness as the sentience they made turned out to be just as complex as their own. I was born around that time, made out of janis' pure anguish as she realized eikko wasn't with her anymore. They called me an angel and told me Janis was my duty so I was to watch over her and observe for the gods." He said quietly "I was so young, and my body was so pure then....." he said softly

___________________________________________________

Amaryllis then made gods from supernovae she herself caused, with her infinite energy source and the 10 most powerful were made to start civilizations, allowing for diversity. This ended up in 1/5 males being vampires and when mated with human women, they had a 1/2 chance of having vampire babies. This grew the populations around the world of both humans and vampires.

During all this growth, Adam witnesses his Eve die before him from old age. As he had grown dependant on her, he felt so angry and sad that he couldn't handle it and killed himself.

Now our narrator, Luca, was born from this anguish as a innocent babe. The gods hadn't expected the pure anguish of a being other than them could have produced a winged creature such as luca, but went with it, making Luca the first angel (but not really considered an angel until he did a holy deed, further mentioned ahead). They assigned him to watch over Adam for research but not to intervene in what they carry out their human nature.

___________________________________________________

" Skip ahead a few hundred years, we had castles with elevated magic and a semi sophisticated society. That's when geo was born half spirit, with half of a seemingly random spirit in him to keep him alive. This spirit was me, or my human version, because appearantly I was human before angel. That human had a weak body and died in childbirth, growing up in the spirit world as a scared boy. Eventually, geos parents found the spirit and he wanted to be alive again so he agreed, giving up a chance at reincarnation to keep geo alive." He said quietly

___________________________________________________

Hundreds of years later, they end up in the time of castles and kings, the renesaince. This time, we shift to Geo Archviste, the prince of lady Shiromiya, Lady Sonneto, and His highness, Sir Pierre de Archviste. Selen is a spirit and she made love with Pierre, resulting in a baby with half the spirit needed to keep a baby alive.

They scoured the spirit world (a separate pocket space where all the spirits slip into and roam until their eventual reincarnation or damnation after being judged by Pierre) for a spirit willing to take on the noble task and Luca's human spirit was chosen to keep the boy alive. Now Luca would be permanently an angel, unless he were to fall and become a demon in hell to assist in punishing the bad spirits until rehabilitation for reincarnation.

___________________________________________________

Its oki sorry i kinda worried you///

"That deed was perceived as noble by a god and then I was made into an angel without a spirit. Then time went on and Adam and eve reincarnated. Eve was now eikko and Adam was now a young man named....it'd be disrespectful to say....he was born in what is now known as Korea as a vampire, and lived on feeling strange." He said

" He eventually found out the cause of this feeling was his body, feeling jealous of women and their beautiful bodies. But then as he thought more, he began to understand it wasn't just their bodies, he had more of the mind of a woman and understood then that he was born in the wrong body. Her life continued as she traveled and understood her condition further, taking her name from one of her slain vampire brethren, Janis foster. She moved more into Europe before being slain by the church that had established there. She was then reincarnated in the vampire world, a world made akin to the spirit world but for the protection of vampires. She became their princess before fleeing for the human world."

___________________________________________________

Adam and Eve are reintroduced again, now reincarnated as Eikko and **** ***. The latter is born into a male vampire body while Eikko is born a woman.

As **** *** goes on, she finds herself through her adventures and is included in many battles, taking the name of one of her honorable vampire friends Adam was **** *** and now she's Janis Foster.

Janis went through her travels, traveling more inland, until the church killed her. The church had a weak understanding of the real god(s) and reasoning behind everything and thought vampires to be hellspawn, so they embarked on crusades against vampire kind, leaving tension and vampires to go into hiding.

The vampires had fashioned a spirit world like pocket space on earth just for vampires out of a collective pool of hundreds of individual magics, and Janis ended up reincarnated into it and was made their princess. By this time, she had found a way to give herself a womanly chest via magic and it greatly helped her self and Public image but sadly nothing could be done for her lower parts because of the complexity of the organs. She was accepted as a princess, but vampires only have princesses(queens really) to well (mainly rule) have children as vampires are way less fertile than humans and it takes a lot to successfully have a child, let alone multiple.

She felt wrong getting someone pregnant just because she was told to and the amount of red flags was forehead high for her and she didn't like anything about the vampire kingdom so she fled.

___________________________________________________

"She then became a knight for the first kingdom willing to take her in and from there on, accomplished many feats such as ending entire wars with just her own hands and holy sword. She was then sold to the renku kingdom to pay off their debts and assigned to look after eikko, now reincarnated as a princess. After that, they eventually fell in love with eachother and met geo, who they then fell in love with as well. But their relationship wasn't perfect, as it slowly degraded from Janis and geos obsessive nature's." He said

___________________________________________________

Janis took on her persona of a knight and as he said, accomplished many feats, such as ending the great ogre war, ending territorial disputes with the great forest fae (a more talk it out kind of thing but it was serious. Wars were planned), and stopping the senate of her kingdom (the Regulus Orchid kingdom), from waging war against 4 powerhouses in the kingdom economy they had going on that would ruin the peace of the entire continent.

But her usefulness outlived her, as she was sold to the Renku kingdom to pay off their debts. She was worth about $5 million in usd now, but 6,000 gold coins back then. A coin for reference could get you dinner and lunch for 4 days.

She was assigned to protect Eikko Renku, the kingdom's princess on her travels to find a suitable husband across many kingdoms and eventually they fell in love.

--> some more juice to this part, a suitor came to her kingdom and acted like your typical man at that time, misogynistic and coddling. He ended up sneaking a team of assasins in somehow and tried to ambush Eikko in the courtyard, but Janis easily slain all of them. However, it's revealed later that Eikko had died and Janis traded the souls of the men she slain for Eikko to come back. She was lucky and toyed with the kingdom of hell and all souls to bring her crush back because she thought she was really cute. She's a person who doesn't think much of her actions, and would have done it for anyone but not cared of the result (most times a no), but for Eikko, she pleaded with her all to bring her back to life. It brings back into light the original Adam and Eve relationship, with Eikko as Eve and Janis as Adam. (She's a vampire still)

As stated before, vampires are naturally submissive to human women, and Janis had been extra obsessed with eikko. Geo had too, but his love wasn't in his genes, he genuinely fell into extreme love for both of them. This led to roughy patch upon roughy patch as Janis slain Eikkos entire previous kingdom by letting a Mimic into the castle grounds.

A mimic is a waterborne shape-shifting creature that favors humans. They are animalistic and kill and feed upon those that treat it with disgust. It can't talk understandably except to those who it blesses with its friendship, such as Eikko. She eventually came back to ker kingdom slain and finds the Mimic but befriends it before Pierre euthanized it humanely, as they are incredibly dangerous. Looking back, he felt bad, but he had a kingdom to protect, he couldn't take the risk of it escaping the castle.

___________________________________________________

"Eventually geo decided it would be best if they started over and poisoned all three of them, hoping for a new life together. But only eikko and Janis died, because geo was immortal but though the poison would work. He was left alone for hundreds of years before meeting Janis as an alchemist, who then helped him to bring eikko back, at a cost." He mumbled

"Janis ended up dying, but eikko was now in a fake body that was nearly completely human. Geo and eikko were together again but now they needed Janis. They found her a few hundred years later as a vampire oni. They were finally back together but happiness was short lived as about a hundred years later, janis and geo were kidnapped by a devil that wanted to try and use Janis' blood to manufacture a plague that would destroy the God's expirements."

___________________________________________________

Geo had found their relationship beyond repair and found a poison said to kill immortal beings such as himself and vampires. He then had all three of them take it to try and get them to reincarnate together, but it backfired as you could tell. It couldn't kill immortals, just vampires because of it vampire warding toxins, and humans because of their low immunity to the chemicals in the poison.

He went on, grief-stricken and obsessed with getting them back. He managed to get Eikko's soul contained and works with alchemists across the globe, looking for a way to bring Eikko back. He then comes across Janis, now an alchemist that was trying to find someone to fund her rebirth studies, and they worked together. They made the first synthetic human body and brought it to life, at the cost of Janis' life.

Eikko then lives on with Geo until they find Janis a few centuries later as a vampire oni now. She's rude and brash, but they end up making her fall for them and go back to her mostly complainant and nice personality that they fell in love with.

They were like that for a bit, before eventually, Geo and Janis were kidnapped for about 13 years by a devil trying to wipe out humanity.

___________________________________________________

"It didn't work and eikko moved on as she was left alone for over a decade. But Janis and geo eventually escaped and got back together with eikko only to find out she was with someone else under the pretense they were dead. This led Janis to try and become a god to protect them and keep them all safe, but it backfired and she received a holy punishment. She watched eikko and geo die before her eyes before staying chained up for over a millenia."

___________________________________________________

Janis and Geo are eventually able to escape, but by then, she had moved on on the pretense they were dead. They try hard to salvage the relationship but Janis (driven a bit mad by the torture) sees Eikko's new boyfriend as an enemy and evil so she gets rid of him and goes through with the ritual to turn into a god, made by her previous research as an alchemist, in an attempt to protect her loved ones.

It backfired too, and she ended up watching Eikko and Geo be slain in front of her before she was chained up for a millenia. During this time, Luca re-appeared and committed a grave sin: don't communicate with those on the living plain. And he was descended from heaven, his angelic body very slowly degrading without the support of the heavens.

___________________________________________________

"Then we're brought to your last reincarnation. You two found Janis and lived out a normal life with her for the most part. Until you two died of old age and she killed herself to with you two. Then I made her cult, to bring her power and help her thrive as a god. You and geo were born into the cult and you know the rest by now right?" He asked quietly

___________________________________________________

Then their latest reincarnation, they have near happiness, but leave Janis behind, more detailed in (blurb link here). Luca makes a cult after Janis to give her power that she can one day use to reinstate him to heaven. Now that's probably all lol. Idk I'm writing this on one huge hyperfixation rn lollll

#yandere #janis foster #original character #yandere oc #trans yandere #transgirl #trans character #love story #story #writing #i wanna make a manga of this one day #hopefully an anime too #sad plot #complex story #Geo Archviste #Eikko Renku #eikko #Geo

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creativebrainrot · 1 year

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I want to write up a little open journal entry about yesterday, and well. Life, lately.

Content Warning for the death of a pet. mentions of abuse. mentions of my abuser.

Today was the day of my childhood pet's vet appointment. BK had been off her thyroid medication since late January / early February this year. I didn't realize how long that was, my dad had been trying and failing to save up for her healthcare. Yesterday, she was panting, didn't want to be touched, on top of other health issues we noticed this/last week, and we knew she was dying. One day off of her appointment, after we finally had managed to save up. When we set the appointment it was a 17 day long wait, and I knew she wouldn't make it. She was put to rest yesterday, I asked my dad to take her to vet to be put to sleep. I've watched too many animals die slowly in this house because we couldn't take care of them. We had saved up just enough for her euthanasia.

The night of the 25th I thought she was already dying, so I pet her and laid my head on her body like one last goodbye but she woke up. I tried to sleep but I had to check on her one more time before I could and when I looked where she usually was, she was still staring at my bedroom door.

When I woke up she was already in a bad state.

I got one last goodbye and goodmorning from her.

she was a really cute cat, I had her since I was 4 or 5. She died at 17 or 16 years old and she was so so so happy and sweet and cute for every single one of those years.

I couldn't go to the vet's with my dad. I had just woken up and I despise crying infront of other people. I don't like it. (I don't like it because I don't look how I should. no other reason. people see a "short little girl" and I hate it.)

We tried to work a bit yesterday, the day she left. But our car's engine light came on, and that was just too much to deal with.

I have no reason to stay in this house anymore. Neither does my dad. Today, 27th of April, 2023, we're going to seriously start moving. Selling things we don't want, packing up what we do want.

We spent this whole year so far trying to just save up enough to move smoothly but honestly? I think it will feel smooth even if we have to buy a car that's definitely a one-way ticket. Even if it's the worst used-lemon of a car we've ever driven before, we'll be somewhere that's finally our's.

This house was the very last bargaining chip our abuser used against us. I cannot emphasize enough that everything was rigged against us from the very start. The mortgage company won't talk to my dad. When our abuser was alive they didn't talk to my dad either- none of the companies did. My dad wasn't the sole owner so he never got to apply for any of the housing aid he wanted to. and then desantis. who doesn't exactly "like" poor people. like us. or anyone remotely like us at all, actually.

If we can just get to somewhere new- be it a mobile home, two apartments, a house in a state like this one, it will STILL be an upgrade. Because the system, including our own personal abuser, never let this be our house. This is just "where we're stuck living," and it's been that my entire life.

my dad wanted so badly to fix this house up and love it but everyday it gets a bit harder to stay here. Everyday a new issue crops up that makes us ask, "why are we still trying to live here?"

even if we did like the house, we're still in a state that get's too hot for us to live comfortably, we're still in a state that wants us dead. we're still cut off from care we need and in a state where everything is too expensive for us.

So it's time to say goodbye and move. I'm only 21 and I don't want to watch my dad die in this house- he's in good health. And we want it to stay that way. We're hoping Maine has clinics that we can afford care from easier. DoorDash usually gets us 20$ an hour, so if we can get a car that can keep driving or maybe fix our current one, we'll be right back on our feet. My dad was looking into DoorDash's e-bike program, he really loves working for DoorDash.

My personal dream is an apartment all to myself that's just the right size for my cat and I, that I can make money off of vocal work & art from. I want to work from home so that I'm never forced outside when I don't want to be or can't handle it. I want to work from home because all my friends right now are online. I want a nice apartment within walking distance of nice places.

I want true freedom for myself and my dad. and I think, we'll get that.

no matter what.

#death of a pet #animal death #and thank you to every single one of you who boosted the donation post or donated to us #you have no idea how much that means to me #i spent 20 years convinced id never be more than a footnote in other people's lives #convinced i was the single exception to human kindess #all because of the poison my abuser fed into my mind #but no #the child i kept alive in my heart was right this entire time #that little kid who feared nothing and no one #always knew he was fucking lying to us #so thank you. for caring. for proving my demons wrong. and for proving that prick wrong.#I knew other people were not as heartless as him.#The one thing I will never regret is keeping hope alive in my heart all these years through any means necessary.#rottingjournals #rotthoughts

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irenicence · 2 years

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like oblivion

pairing: denki kaminari x reader

synopsis: the little avoiding game finally comes to an end.

a/n: I hope you enjoy this piece of fluff!

part 1

The next few days were awkward to say the least. It was actually funny how you both changed directions as soon as you saw each other just to end up colliding on the other path too. The entire class had taken a notice of change in the behavior, however none of them could succeed in getting the truth out either of you.

Today was one of those days where you were just looking for peace. You loved your classmates, there was no lie in that but sometimes they were too loud. So in search of this said peace you reached the terrace. What you did not know was that you played right into devil's hand because there was someone.

And as lucky as you were the person was none other than Denki Kaminari. you had half a mind to turn back and run away but you knew it was too late, he had already seen you.

You slowly took steps towards him as he quickly turned his gaze away, mainly because because was already blushing without you even saying anything.

"Hey", you muttered to which Denki let out a shaky breath. He's been dying to hear your voice again, directed at him.

"Hey." he shortly replied still gazing elsewhere.

You didn't know what to. You wanted peace but you knew you won't get it in Denki's presence. You couldn't have turned away now either or Denki would feel guilty for making you uncomfortable with his presence. So you did the first thing that came to your mind, initiate a convo.

"So what are you doing here?" Denki whipped his head in your direction with his eyes blown wide. You greeting him was just a gesture out of courtesy but you actually initiating a convo, he didn't expect that.

After realizing he has been staring for too long he finally pulled himself together and replied, "Why do you care?"

Way to go Denki.

In Denki's defense he really didn't mean that, but being a Denki is hard okay? Sometimes your mouth works faster than your mind.

You were confused. Was he mad? He probably was otherwise he would never answer like that. but what was he mad for? Right, he obviously doesn't like me back.

"Are you mad?" You absent mindedly blurt you with your eyes fixated on your own shoes.

Now Denki was feeling bad. And a guilty Denki is never a pretty sight to see.

As soon as he realized what he has done he jumped in front you shaking his head and his hands muttering 'no, no, no'.

He took a deep breath and mumbled a 'shit' which made you raise your head and look at him while he held both of your shoulders firmly.

"Listen," he started, "I am not mad. I can never be, not with you." he was looking directly in your eyes and oh lord was is doing something to you.

The lights from other dorms illuminated the side of his face that made him seem no less than angel. But to his eyes the only angel here was you, because the way your eyes were shining with hope even in the dark made him want to just swoop you up and run away with you to somewhere no one could reach. And the way you looked up at him was making him dizzy.

"I...I just don't know. you and I, that day- I'm sorry I avoided you I was just confused I somehow made myself believe there could be a teeny tiny chance that you, you like me." Now it was him making you dizzy, the way he spoke, the way he held you, the way his lips were slightly curled up and the way he let out a bitter chuckle next moment.

"But I know I was just making things up in my head. How could someone as amazing as you like me?" His hands dropped to his side as he breathed in the cold air of the night.

And you couldn't help but think, 'wow he looks breathtaking'.

"Let's just forget whatever happened that day, yeah?" He gave a sad smile before turning back.

No, no, no this could not be ending like this. How can he think so lowly of himself?

"D-Denki..." You whispered.

"Yeah?" He turned back just to stumble backwards as you took him by surprise by hugging him. "i like you! I really really like you!"

He was just frozen there, breathing you in. He didn't hug you back, didn't do anything, just stood there saying, "Are you sure?"

This made you look at him of course you were sure! Can't he see?

"Yes! I really really really really like you! So much! Can't you see-"

"Can i kiss you?" And it made you shut up and stare wide at him with cheeks as red as tomato. what are you doing to me, Denki.

"Can I?" He repeated his question to which you shyly replied with a "Please."

He slowly brought his shaky hands up to your face as you clutched his shirt tighter. He slowly leaned in stopping just a string away from your lips, "Sure?" He asked again and you replied him by pulling him, closing the barely there gap.

You tasted like oblivion to him. something he has never tasted before, like something a lot more than just sweet.

Denki was ready to forget about the little sunday incident, but the way you were holding onto him right now, he doesn't thing he'll ever want to forget anything about you.

#bnha imagines #bnha scenarios #mha #denki x reader #denki fluff #denki imagine #denki kaminari #denki drabble #denki x you

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nathanielbuildsatesseract · 1 year

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This isn't really discourse I've been following or even encountering that often, but I realized explicitly today that the reason exhortations for "filial piety" fall flat with me is that, to a very large extent, I've been doing that already and mostly it's just made me miserable.

Like, doing what my parents asked or suggested has mostly meant my attempts to start my career and have my own life have been stymied for a decade now. Without going into the gory details, I've spent most of my 20s trying to be a good student while they made me do manual labor for them, and more recently have gotten to play 24-7 caregiver while also trying to work 40 hours a week. I've given up having friends, having hobbies, trying to find love, and now am getting to the point where I'm at risk of losing a very good job. It feels like I just can't win and it always seems to go back to my family.

It would be easier if they'd been toxic or abusive and thus destroyed our relationship, but that's not actually my situation. I still care about them, and now that I'm (at least, for now) financially independent our dynamic was showing signs of improving. I was really expecting to reap years of a healthier relationship before something like this happened. Goes to show what I deluded fucking optimist I really am.

This situation would also be a lot more manageable if I weren't the only child, so the "traditional family" folks might have a bit of a point. At the same time, I don't really think most of these guys are imagining themselves dropping their careers and social lives for months if not years (if not decades) to take care of old and/or disabled relatives. My guess is that most of them are expecting their (imagined?) wives will be handling everything. "You don't mind driving your crabby in-laws to the doctor or changing their adult diapers, right honey?" Even if you're not all that keen on atomized individualism, that's not a great pitch for an alternative.

It's especially not a great pitch with sub-replacement birth-rates. Every adult child is already expecting to support, on average, more than one old person, probably for years at a time. Do you want to do that in series or parallel? Either way, if it hits while you're still young enough to be having kids, that's going to be a big turn-off to having more, because most people simply do not have the additional capacity. Longevity technology is the solution for the fertility crisis, and not just in the ways people think.

I'm serious: none of this would be a problem if we were already living in the glorious transhumanist future. I wouldn't have been stuck cleaning out my grandmother's house, because she wouldn't have died. Mom and Dad wouldn't have needed so much manual labor from me when they moved, because they would have had more able-bodied adults on-hand. I wouldn't be stuck here now, both because no one would be sick and needing an able-bodied caretaker around, and because I might have some siblings with whom to share the load. And I wouldn't be so worried about repeatedly delaying the search for a romantic partner if the biological clock weren't ticking away in the background.

Death and dying delenda est.

#sorry needed to get that out after three months of misery and worry #i haven't had a full night's sleep in about a month #can we fix that too while we're at it?#transhumanism #effortpost

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evelynsfics · 2 years

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Life captured in a painting.

I saw more people today, they came by to see the room. The same room everyone comes to see. I watched them briskly walk past all the silent painting and watching candles, they paid no mind to the dust and spiders, they never do, after all. A single goal in mind, they came to see the rusted beds, i'm sure. They all do. Countless pulled towards us by a never ending curiousity. Yet none ever leave. A shame, really. All those bodies have so many uses besides to carry one's mind from awful place to calm, serene dreams.

The light flickers everynow and then, it always has since that day... Well, no point in reminding oneself of things long since purposely forgotten. I don't know why. I never did. They kept me in the dark to stumble and fall, only to join me once they outlived the only usefulness they once had.

Everything was so much simpler when we used candles to light up the halls, back then the painting frames weren't so faded and the paint still held it's vibrant colors. Ah, but alas time eats away even at the most humble of hands.

Once the man died and our house fell into chaos and apathy, once we lost all we had left, then and only then did we realize that we witnessed the end of a bloodline. Years passed with no light, no human contact, and quickly, life as we knew it changed. Mankind has come so far from the last time our family ate together during Christmas, oh but i guess it's to be expected.

Now, we sit wordlessly, watching men and women gape in awe at our beauty. We watch them walk down the ancient, moth eaten rug in the hall, desperate to look at as much as they can. It's always been like this, visitors always looked around awestruck, never quite grasping all we had to sacrifice to obtain all this gold tinted bronze.

They never saw beneath the lies. They never realized. They never knew that our family, entire generations of lives lost to illness and war, was built on fickle lies, ones that would shatter like glass at the softest of touches.

Ignorance is bliss, and in some cases, it is all that stands between a life of luxury and a death of misery and regret.

Is that how they all died? In agony and longing? Longing for a better life? A second chance? A way to undo all the hurt and envy they caused to people that didn't deserve it? Not that we weren't without fault, of course. We always where too quick to judge, too quick to kill in the name of false justice and broken pride. That's how we made our way to the top. That's how it's always been.

Even now, as i watch people dressed in monochromatic tones walk by, strange devices lightning up their hands, i know that i am so much more than them. I've seen so many wonders of nature that their feeble mortal minds wouldn't be able to even comprehend. I've become what i always knew I'd be. Yet, it's so strangely melancholic to watch them freely walk, talking amongst eachother so carelessly, mindlessly laughing at words i can't seem to understand. Oh how i miss being like them.

The scenery before me always changes, the sun sets in such a lovely way, everyday the same yet changing, charming in such a disgusting way. Lives come and go, looking up at us like we're an attraction at a crumbling museum left to rot in it's meaningless sorrows. I, however, am eternal. I will watch a thousand years before i succumb to rot and decay.

For the view behind the picture frame may rot, but as the last of what once was a bloodline of pure power and might, i will last on far longer than the portrait they painted of me in my dying moments.

Some part of me knows they knew what a horrible fate they doomed me to. Some part of me feeds on the hatred they felt for me. Some part of me still feels it, pulsing a soft rhythm inside the now silent paintings.

And i relish in it. It's what kept me alive for so long, is it not?

#hey how cool would it be if i wrote a story from the point of view of someones reflection #my writing #writers on tumblr #writing #another personal favourite #i vividly remember writing this one #the story behind it is really funny #okay so. i was on pintrest being mentally ill as i usually do #and i saw this one picture of a girl in a room w a bunch of mirrors and i thought #but that didnt work out as well as i thought #and because the idea was really nice i decided to try and do it w a painting

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moonyoon5839 · 2 years

Text

Missed You!

A little peek: The baby is back Warnings: none Setting: 2011/03/02

Another girl standing in front of a door.

She did have hope. Not just the nerves that was creeping up her spine to her neck.

Don't get lost in your head and come back to us if it gets too much. It's not a bad thing.

She learned from her Unnies. Her Unnies, the people she looked up to the most. They were all so brave and strong. Maybe it was because she was so small and they looked like giants to her. But it wasn't a lie that they were strong both physically and mentally.

Maybe it was just in her head.

Opening the door that seemed so heavy a few seconds ago, she looked around the room to try and find a familiar face that she had been wanting to see for months. She did meet her a few moments ago but still,

"She is Kim Yena, from now on she will be your classmate. Would you like to introduce yourself?"

"Yes, I'm Kim Yena. I'm 11 and I came from Daegu. I hope we can get along." Anybody could notice she wasn't from Seoul by her still heavy accent.

"Thank you, please take a seat next to Aeri. Aeri, raise your hand please."

Finally,

Yena was dying to see Aeri and it has been just an hour.

Aeri

Yena moved to Seoul with her family. A few months ago, because of her fathers job, the family decided to move and leave Daegu until his job is done. It was sad to leave the land were she grew up even if it was just for a bit, but Yena knew she would be happy in Seoul too.

She could meet her sisters again.

Jia was the first one to go to Seoul. She tried to visit them once in a while but she was busy too. Then, Nayeon and Sieyon. They auditioned for and got accepted to JYP. They were all surprised. It kind of made sense 'cause they were really pretty. Any company would want them. Nayeon and Sieyon lived in Nayeon's grandmother's house. But seeing as Jia was training and lived in the dorms, they auditioned again and changed to Bighit. They live together with a few more trainees now. Aeri lived in Seoul so she didn't really leave but it was only Yena that was in Daegu and it made her feel a bit very lonely.

But she's here in Seoul today, first day of school, and she's in the same class as Aeri. What more could she ask for?

The thing they did to be together. The things they'll do to be together.

Walking to her seat, Yena couldn't keep herself from smiling. Well she didn't have to, she has been excited for this day.

"The others doesn't go to the same school?"

"Yup, its the school next to ours."

"The dorm they live in is a bit far from here."

The 2 talked and caught up on things that the youngest has missed. She didn't miss a lot because they talked over text often but talking face to face was the best. Yena could see how she still has the habit of playing with her fingers when she talks. Yena could feel how Aeri wanted to meet the others with their youngest and be one complete group. She felt like that too.

After school, they went straight to the company. Nobody really cared of they were in their uniforms because training for today has finished.

The plan was to meet the 2 that finishes school later than the Jia, Nayeon, and Siyeon.

The plan was,

In reality, Nayeon couldn't wait to meet her best-friend, so she insisted on waiting for them in the little waiting space that was literally a single couch, ended up screaming but looking at the lady that worked at the front glare at them, 'shut up'.

We have no intention of disobeying you at all, we will listen to you and gladly shut up.

"Yenaaaa-yaaahhhh!" "I missed yooouuuuu!"

But it always doesn't work. At. All.

"Okay, that's enough, you guys don't realize how much noise you're making so let's go somewhere else."

Of course, they didn't shut up the way to the empty practice room. Even in the elevator it was complete chaos that Aeri actually though that this elevator might fall because Nayeon's energy.

They couldn't really blame her though.

It has been almost a year since they met all at once. It was a special moment.

See more➢ Master list

#bts #bts added member #jia #nayeon #aeri #yena #bts 8th member #scenario #siyeon

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flame-cat · 6 months

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tell me about your tav boy

alright, but it's your funeral

Gale: Now that we're all acquainted, I had something I was rather curious about, and do feel free to spurn me of any further inquiry if you feel I'm prying too much. >What is it? Gale: That medallion of yours interests me greatly. Remarkably powerful magic, from what I can tell, and believe you me it is very easy for me to tell. I don't suppose you might tell me what it is? >That's none of your business. Gale: Of course. Very well. Far be it from me to stick my nose where it isn't wanted. Though, I do have to ask, and again please feel free to stop me if you'd rather not answer, but... do you even know what it is? >(Deception) Of course I know what it is. It's mine, isn't it? (NAT 1) Gale: ... Right. Of course. Well, in case you don't know what it is- though I know you do, rather, in case maybe you'd like to investigate any further capabilites that it may have that you may not already be appraised of- I would be happy to volunteer my services in examining it for you. With your express permission of course- I would never deign to try something underhanded towards someone I owe my life to. It would be most uncouth. >Don't touch my stuff. Gale: Understood. In that case, just let me know if you change your mind. I am ever at your service.

-- LOOP 2 -- Gale: Now that we're all acquainted, I had something I was rather curious about, and do feel free to spurn me of any further inquiry if you feel I'm prying too much. >You want to know about my medallion. Gale: Well... yes, indeed I do. You wouldn't happen to want to share what it is? >No. I'm not even sure I could. You might not believe me. Gale: Oh, I can believe quite a lot, I assure you. Though if you'd rather keep it to yourself, I will respect your wish for privacy. >Maybe I'll tell you in time. Gale: Then I shall wait patiently for when the time comes. Now, shall we be off?

like shadowheart and her artifact, nix woke up with a medallion in their pocket. said medallion is a simple circle with an hourglass in it, the bottom half full. once, as they lay dying by their own hand, nix saw the hourglass flip, and then suddenly they were back on the nautiloid a tenday ago.

the artifact was a gift from the emperor, one even he does not know the full power of. he found it on a thief he ate, and never quite knew what it was for. he considered it a good luck charm, and so ensured it found its way into nix's pocket.

it is, in fact, a powerful Netherese artifact, a Talisman of Kronos. it is far more ancient than either of them know, leftover from a chronomancer's myriad experiments. it allows the user to rewind time if they die. this is the only reason nix remains alive today.

here are more excerpts from a conversation they have later with astarion:

Nix: You're not nearly as hard to read as you think you are. I always knew there was something going on with you. Now I know what, and if the need arises, I can react accordingly. >What exactly would the "need arising" entail? Nix: Well, for one, I understand your earlier reticence towards helping strangers. Nix: I've been there myself, I tell you me. When the world turns a blind eye to your suffering, why should you care what happens to them? Why be a bleeding hero when no one ever bothered for you? Nix: But personally, I was miserable like that. I realized that even if my bleeding heart would get me in trouble, even if I got hurt, I didn't really care. I just wanted other people to be happy. Nix: Or maybe that's not quite true. Maybe it's something less kind and selfless. Maybe I'm just afraid of what will happen if people don't like me. If I don't just roll over and beg forgiveness. Nix: Say, what do you think? >If I didn't know you better, I'd say the latter. But no. Fool that you are, it's the former too. It's both. Nix: Yeah, I think so too. Nix: We can always grow from where we came from, but it never quite leaves us.

Nix: I was a tiefling born to human parents, and with draconic blood to boot. I was... something of a prize, an oddity to show off. Nix: My mum had some... prior relations, so... that probably had something to do with it.

Nix: That's just the thing, I know I'm lucky. Not a day goes by where I take it for granted. But I also wasn't lucky for a very long time. Nix: I know how it feels to be abandoned, to see other people have fortune smile on them while you're stuck wondering if freezing to death in an alley would be a mercy or not, if anyone would notice your corpse stinking up the place or just nudge you to the side, not a care who you were.

#in the life #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 tav #bg3 oc #i'll reveal more if ppl keep asking :3

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wildweirdly · 10 months

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Irrepressible Thoughts of Death Barbie

(A ramble about my anxiety, death, and my mental issues! Probably TMI, heavy TW)

Today I realized I think about death more than a mentally sound person should, which is to say that I think about it on the reg.

A good example of what I mean: when people don't text me back for long periods of time my brain jumps to "OMG are they dead??" which is unhelpful for all parties involved (and especially not helpful for me!) I also am always worrying about what if the last thing I said to someone was truly the final thing I get to say, like if they died suddenly.

Dying abruptly is also a fear of mine, so I always try and let people know how I feel about them so I don't die with too many regrets. And honestly? The average healthy adult is not ruminating on "but what if I DIE?!" or thinking "my time is limited!!"

Like, I do fear/think at some point in a moment of weakness some part of me that can't take it anymore is just gonna take over and do me in and that's fucken /terrifying/! Imagine feeling like there's something in you that you can't control, and it's one goal is to die gruesomely and/or painfully. And when doctors and stuff ask me "do you feel suicidal" I have to say "sometimes" and try and explain I have some sort of thing in my brain that has a proclivity for getting us dead but it's not a part of myself and the doctors usually just look at me like ":/" meanwhile I'm thinking "listen, /you're/ the ones who're supposed to know about this stuff, not me!"

I recently tried explaining this to Emma because we got talking about gun ownership and I said "I can't own a gun because I'd kill myself." Of course hearing that was kinda shocking so I had to explain that I have this like, primal urge to die and a thing in my brain that's always saying "kill urself" 24/7 and if I had something as easy as a gun I would absolutely give in to the impulse. Her response was "That sounds awful, you need better meds!" (I agree)

And the thing is I don't want to die! I have a pretty damn good life, I love my partner and my cats, all my friends and my crushes, and I'm in a far better place than I've ever been! But there's like a poison in my head, a voice always muttering that I should hurt or kill myself, and people don't really have that, yanno? Office Bob who works a 9-5 doesn't have to sit there and listen to a little voice in his head, doesn't take any meds, has good labwork and actually does not think about death every day, you feel? Probably the people who end up reading this will also go "erm no I don't have that either" to themselves because yeah, it's not normal!

And it's been this way basically my whole life and so far none of the meds we've tried treat it so I get to just kinda live with the fear I'll slip up and die one day! Oh, this is a pretty good analogy actually: it's more or less exactly a Jekyll/Hyde situation and I have no control whatsoever of it. Hopefully that makes some sense!

#weirdly rambles #irrepressible thoughts of death barbie hours #death tw #tw death #spicy mental health talk #maybe psychosis related?#intrusive thoughts #anxiety rambles #personal #deep worrying #mental health tw

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frankcastleonlyfans · 2 years

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𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐄 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓, 𝐆.𝐃

pairing: garrett denali x cullen!reader x kate denali

summary: reader loves musicals, kate likes cartoons, and garrett is an awesome olaf

words: 978

author's note: I enjoyed so much writing this one, maybe it will be come a short series so I can write kate, garrett and the reader being silly again

reblogs, feedbacks and likes are appreciated. i hope you like it!

18+ warning

warnings: none!!

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"We should do this more often," Bella said as she moved Renesmee in her lap, to make the girl more comfortable in her mother's embrace.

"Don't put ideas into Y/N's head, Bella..." Garrett playfully said and I smacked him in the arm.

"I'm just glad we're all together again," I muttered, closing my eyes as my male mate caressed my hair with the tip of his fingers, and my feet rested on Kate's lap.

I've been dating Garrett for the longest I can remember. Only a few years ago, when we had to comeback home to witness for Renesmee's situation, that we met Kate. Having another mate came really naturally to us. In my family, this never happened before. Carlisle had Esme, Edward had Bella, Alice had Jasper, and Emmett had Rosalie. Garrett always made me feel complete, but Kate made us both feel full. She was such an extraordinary woman, always seemed to impress Garrett and I.

Joining her coven was a whole different story. Garrett felt fine about moving out to Alaska, but being away from Forks and my family was weird to me. Of course I never had second thoughts, it was hard for me to leave but, I needed to put my mates first. I was a Cullen in my heart, but I had to put that name behind me. That was the worst part of adapting.

Once in a while, our coven comes back to Forks, just so I can spend a nice time with my family. Kate likes the rainy days and catching up with Bella, and Garrett loves to be silly and joke around with Emmett. Seeing everyone together makes me realize how much I miss my family, and wish we could move to Forks.

I try not to feel sad about this, and don't say anything about it either. I could never ask Kate to leave her family, I know she would feel just the same way as I do now. Living in the same house as Irina can be a little annoying, but I know she would hate being away from Tanya, Eleazar and Carmen.

When I suggested coming to Forks for a couple of weeks, they were absolutely thrilled. It has been a week since we left Alaska, and we were having lots of fun. We play games, we hunt together, we get to enjoy the cloudy weather, and have movie nights.

"What are we watching today?" Tanya asked.

"I hope is not another Harry Potter film," Emmett said in a melodic way, making us chuckle.

"I like Harry Potter," Renesmee frowned confused.

"Of course you do, sweetheart. Can we watch Star Wars?" Garrett said suggestive.

"What about something more real? Why can't it be a romance movie?" Carlisle asked and everyone looked at him, "What?"

"Thanks Romeo, but no. And Renesmee is here, we need to watch something family friendly," I said like it was obvious.

"Why don't we watch a Marvel film? That supehero stuff?" Rosalie suggested and Jasper scoffed.

"Please don't make me go through that kind of torture again. Alice made me watch eight different Spider-Man movies!"

"What about Titanic?" Edward shrugged and I rolled my eyes.

"Again, Renesmee is here! Can we please just pick something without too much romance and people dying? I swear to God I'm gonna make us watch Harry Potter for the fourth time," I snapped.

"We could watch Frozen." Garrett said and I looked at him.

"What?" Alice frowned, just like the rest of the vampires present.

"I like Frozen. Actually, we like Frozen," He said pointing to me and Kate.

"You like Frozen?" Esme asked in disbelief.

"Yeah? Y/N is into musicals, Kate likes cartoons, and I like snow," Garrett smiled, his arms around me and Kate, caressing our backs.

That made me feel a little more guilty. It's snowy all around the country when it's winter, but winter in Alaska just hits different, and Garrett is all about the snow.

"Frozen it is then." Bella said, choosing the movie in the streaming app.

I love musicals. I remember the first time I made Garrett watch Hamilton and he almost had a epiphany. Watching musicals like Frozen with my mates were my favorite part of our relationship. Garrett knew the lyrics to every song, and Kate was crazy about "Do you want to build a snowman?".

Then, in the middle of the movie, Edward paused and looked at us:

"Can I just say, it's hilarious that Y/N, Kate and Garrett are singing all the songs in their minds?" He said, bursting into laughs.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," Kate whispered trying to keep a poker face.

Eleazar snorted, "Just admit you know the lyrics,"

"I wasn't gonna say anything, but they are unbearable when it comes to Frozen. If Y/N starts singing one song, the three of them keeps singing the rest of the songs from the movie!" Carmen blurted out and Garrett avoided everyone's gaze with a silly grin im his lips, feeling a little embarrassed having his secret exposed.

"Well, in their defense, at least they make a great trio. And Garrett is an awesome Olaf," Tanya tried to make it less embarrassing for us.

Emmett laughed out loud and pointed at Garrett, "Hi, I'm Garrett and I like warm hugs!" he mocked, trying to imitate my mate's low voice.

"Y'all should be greatful we're not watching Aladdin. This would turn into a karaoke night," Kate said and I nodded in agreement.

"Next time we should do a karaoke night then," Alice suggested.

"Yeah, I would love to see Garrett's talent with a mic. Maybe his gift is in the voice," Jasper frowned his nose.

"Oh, you guys are not gonna know where his gift lays," I smirked looking at Kate.

"Ew!" Everyone said in unison.

#garrett x reader #garrett denali #garrett denali x reader #garrett imagines #twilight imagines #kate denali x garrett #lee pace x reader

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light-is-typing · 2 years

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Special Afternoon

Dwayne Hoover x Gn!reader

Word count: 1.5K

Summary: You come over to watch a show with Dwayne

Tags/warnings: nothing but fluff :))

A/N: ahh first time posting a fic here

"Hey y/n, you wanna come over today? We could watch a few episodes"

Dwayne was of course talking about you guys' regular tv show you watched together. You've developed a habit of coming over to his house to watch it every so often, 'course you never actually understood what it was about, since the show was just an excuse.

An excuse to get closer to each other, to feel time freeze in place.

You were no strangers to each other's touch, having grown up together, but something about these lazy afternoons made every brush of your skin against his special.. Different. Something about the hazy orangy-yellow light coming from his window made everything seem like a daydream.

"I'd love to!" You smile at him, and his cheeks, which quickly turned pink, flushed a smile back.

You don't really remember exactly when you started having this kind of effect on him, but you don't complain, if you were as white as he is, he'd be able to tell that he made you just as flustered. Having a crush on your best friend seemed awfully cheesy, and undoubtedly he'd tease you to no end if he knew. Sometimes, it'd look like he liked you back, evident by the pink coloration now coloring his ears too, and, well, your special afternoons together. Oh, right. You're drawn out of you're thoughts as you snap back to reality, startled by the bus's noise as it starts to move out of the parking spot, you realize you're somehow sat next to Dwayne in the back of the bus. Wow, you really do get lost in your own thoughts.

Dwayne looks like he's lost in thoughts too though. You can't help but staring, as the sun lights his green eyes, making him look so dreamy and content. He's listening to an audio book, probably some smartass stuff- 'course you like him for having smartass interest, you find it amusing, honestly you could listen to him for hours on end, rambling about his favorite philosophers.

"Y/n"

"Hm?" You're once again brought back to reality, this time by Dwayne's voice.

"You were staring" oh, yeah.

"Oh, yeah." You're huffing out an embarrassed chuckle. "Sorry, I was just thinking"

"Thinking" he smiles playfully. "What about?"

"Oh, I just can't wait to get to your house already! I'm dying to give Olive the painting I drew for her". That wasn't a complete lie, you were excited to see her reaction to the painting you made especially for her birthday.

"She's gonna love it" Dwayne says honestly.

"Can't believe my best friends is the best artists out there."

"Shut up" you say, hitting his shoulder softly; that familiar pink color is slowly heating his face again.

Finally, the bus stops. You rush out of the hot steady air in the bus, and breathe in the familiar smell of Dwayne's neighborhood. Dwayne follows you shortly, and hands you your school bag you forgot in your hurry. None of you say anything, but his eyes are teasing you, and yours shut them up.

"Olive!" You call when you enter the house. Dwayne's little sister is sitting on the couch watching a cartoon. As soon as she hears your voice she's rushing to you, and you hold her up, giving her a big hug. "Happy birthday kiddo!". She's giggling when you put her down. You catch a glimpse of Dwayne, his eyes are brightened up, he looks as if he's proud of your relationship with Olive. You kneel down in front of her and take the painting out of your bag- it shows her in her favorite costume on a stage, holding an award; you'd drawn it when you heard she won her local beauty pageant, and although you weren't a big fan of them, you liked that she had a dream.

Olive looks at the painting and you hear her squeal before she even opens her mouth. "Oh thank you thank you thank you!" She is practically dancing as she holds the drawing In a hugging motion, careful as to not tear it though. You can hear Dwayne giggle as his mom is coming out of the kitchen to greet you.

"Hi, y/n" she smiles at you.

"Hi, it's very nice to see you" you greet her back. Dwayne is now tugging your sleeve, motioning at his room. "Sorry" you smile at her apologeticly, and you let Dwayne drag you into his room.

"Finally." He huffs as he closes the door and opens the drawer in which he keeps his laptop. He puts it on the bed and you glance at the stickers decorating it, showing images and little drawings of jets and the sky. You get comfortable on his bed, as you put your favorite pillow behind your head, knowing you won't need it for long, as you'll have something else to rest your head on. Dwayne grins at you as he climbs onto the bed, laying next to you and opening the episodes he has saved. You slowly rest your head on his shoulder and he sighs in relief, as if he's worried every time he's scared you off and you won't do that again.

The opening song starts to play, and you shove yourself closer to him, until your hands touch. You guys have held hands before, but you were never sure if it's the right time, or if he understands its meaning differently than you. Nevertheless, your index finger starts to trace his thumb softly, and you can hear a soft inhale as he tenses next to you. "Sorry" you murmur, you feel an uncomfortable sense of shame as you've misread the situation.

"No, no, don't be!" He blurts out almost too desperately. "Ah" he realizes how loud he was and gets red again "sorry, I mean, I liked it" he gestures to your hand. You feel a relieved smile washing over you as you lay your head on his shoulder again. You scoot closer to him and let your body relax again as you take his hand in yours. He makes a soft noise again, but you can feel his fingers wrap around you and it makes you feel loved, cared for. Dwayne had always made you feel this way, he just felt like home.

You then become aware of his hand slowly petting your hair; this had only happened a couple of times before- it seemed that as the days go by he gets more and more brave with his physical affection, and you had no complaints. You give his hand a light squeeze, reassuring him that you liked his touch, that you liked him. His finger traces your face now, brushing your jawline, your cheeks, the bridge of your nose - you hold your breath. You've never been this intimate with each other, and a million thoughts run through your head as you try to keep as quiet, as still as you can, to not ruin the moment. Does he actually.. Nah, of course not.. Or does he? you look up slowly, and you inhale softly as you catch him looking at you. He goes beet red now, like he's been caught doing something he's not supposed to do, but your eyes, lazy as if you were intoxicated by his touch , look at him and he can't think, he can't even be embarrassed, he just wants to lean in and..

Suddenly your face is very close to him, and he's startled at first because he didn't move at all- and now you're running your hands through his hair, and the hairs on the back of his neck rise. You move your hands lower to hold the sides of his face, and as you look deep into his eyes, you can see the sunlight shine through them again. And maybe that was it - that weird spell that made you act on your thoughts, maybe it was the sunlight that made you both feel like you're dreaming, as your thumb slowly brushes his parted lips, and he's gasping softly; maybe it was the magic of the moment that made you lean in and allowed you to feel the same lips with your own now, so soft and.. Eager for more? It couldn't be, but it was, he was kissing you back, and he's now cupping your face with his hands.

The kiss feels like it lasts forever, but eventually you guys are brought back to reality by Dwayne's mother, who yells at him to help her get the cake from the car. None of you say anything, but your eyes are locked in place as you take in this special moment.

Finally, red faced and short of breath, Dwayne speaks up.

"Will you-"

"Yes. Yes!" You breathe out, your thoughts still hazy and slow, but you know what he's asking, and he knows your answer.

"Then it's time I reintroduce you to my family"

#dwayne hoover #dwayne hoover x reader #dwayne hoover fanfic #paul dano #riddler #riddler fanfic

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