#really if you actually read all 92 of these answers and you want to do it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lingthusiasm · 1 month

Text

Transcript Episode 92: Brunch, gonna, and fozzle - The smooshing episode

This is a transcript for Lingthusiasm episode ‘Brunch, gonna, and fozzle - The smooshing episode. It’s been lightly edited for readability. Listen to the episode here or wherever you get your podcasts. Links to studies mentioned and further reading can be found on the episode show notes page.

[Music]

Gretchen: Welcome to Lingthusiasm, a podcast that’s enthusiastic about linguistics! I’m Gretchen McCulloch.

Lauren: I’m Lauren Gawne. Today, we’re getting enthusiastic about smooshing words together. But first, our most recent bonus episode was about secret codes, ciphers, Hildegard von Bingen, cryptography, cryptic crosswords, and Morse code romance. You can listen to it at patreon.com/lingthusiasm.

Gretchen: Also on Patreon, we have 80-plus other bonus episodes on things like swearing and linguistics in fiction and other behind-the-scenes things from Lingthusiasm.

Lauren: Bonus episodes are around the same length as main episodes, but we sometimes do slightly different things like a deep dive into a single academic paper or AMAs and updates on our other projects. Sometimes, we get a little bit silly.

Gretchen: We run on the direct support of our listeners, which means we don’t have to run ads. If you’d like to help us keep existing and making these free episodes for everyone, we’d really appreciate it if you’d consider becoming a patron. Or if you were a patron for a while, and you had to leave for a bit, we’d also love to see you back. There are more bonus episodes for you to enjoy now!

[Music]

Lauren: Gretchen, I have some words that are made up of two other words. I’m going to make you guess what the other two words are that they’re made up from.

Gretchen: Okay, sounds fun.

Lauren: Our first word is “motel.”

Gretchen: Ah, this one I know. This is a “motor hotel.”

Lauren: It is, indeed, because you can drive your car all the way up to the door of your room.

Gretchen: Absolutely. I assume this was invented around when the car became popular, I guess.

Lauren: I had thought that it was maybe a mid-century, being in the ’50s or ’60s when cars really took off, but apparently the earliest citation is from 1925.

Gretchen: That is earlier than I thought it was. Okay, next word.

Lauren: “Smog.”

Gretchen: “Smog.” Yes. This one I know – from “smoke” and “fog,” right?

Lauren: It is indeed that disgusting, thick combination of smoke and fog. That’s from 1905 – a particularly disgusting winter in London.

Gretchen: Also earlier than I expected.

Lauren: Mm-hmm. “Brunch.”

Gretchen: “Brunch.” Now, that is definitely a modern word from “breakfast” and “lunch.” I do it all the time.

Lauren: An absolutely indispensable part of my vocabulary, but it is from 1896.

Gretchen: 1896? They were having brunch in 1896. I love it!

Lauren: Yeah, because it is a very useful concept.

Gretchen: It is, indeed. Okay, I’m feeling really good about these portmanteaus so far. Hit me with another one.

Lauren: “Mizzle.”

Gretchen: Ooo, “mizzle.” I wanna say that one’s from “mist” and “drizzle”?

Lauren: It is, actually. Nice work.

Gretchen: It’s really giving me Ms. Frizzle vibes.

Lauren: If Ms. Fizzle wanted to be more efficient, she’d become “mizzle.”

Gretchen: Yeah. I have no idea how old that one is. Because all of these have been much older than I was expecting, so maybe it dates to around “smog,” I dunno.

Lauren: No, this one is much more recent. It’s one of those late-20th Century / early-21st Century as part of this explosion of these kind of words. The next one is “fozzle.”

Gretchen: “Fozzle.” That’s definitely a Muppet.

Lauren: It does sound like a Muppet name, doesn’t it? Something fuzzy.

Gretchen: Yeah, okay, no, that’s Fozzie Bear, okay. It’s a fake nozzle. It’s a fuzzy nozzle. Fuzzy nozzle is my final answer.

Lauren: Think of it in the context of “mizzle.”

Gretchen: Oh, um, wait, okay, could it be “fog” and “drizzle”?

Lauren: It is, indeed. Lots of subtle gradations on weather, apparently, require a more nuanced creation of new blend words.

Gretchen: I have never heard anyone call it “fozzle.”

Lauren: Great, good. Our final one is “brinkles.”

Gretchen: “Brinkles.” I wanna say, you know, inspired by “brunch,” that’s “breakfast sprinkles”?

Lauren: That does actually sound delicious.

Gretchen: You guys have fairy bread in Australia. That’s sprinkles on bread. That could be breakfast sprinkles, yeah? No?

Lauren: The list that I took it from has it as “bed wrinkles.”

Gretchen: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. That’s much less fun. I don’t care about bed wrinkles at all. I want some breakfast sprinkles.

Lauren: I deliberately chose some very effective classics and some maybe not-so-effective failures, but we are living in this era of portmanteau word explosions. I guess an explosion goes outward, and it’s more like an implosion of two words coming together to create some new word.

Gretchen: There’s a lot of different ways that words can get smooshed together – to use the very technical term of “smooshing.” I wanna say that in some ways “smooshing” is not a technical term, but I have actually been to a linguistics workshop where people were talking about words like “smooshing” into each other and “glomming” onto each other.

Lauren: Oh, “glom.”

Gretchen: Mm, “glom.” It’s not that this is never used, actually, despite seeming a bit silly. It’s tempting, when we’re looking at a dictionary-style sense of words, to think of them as these atomic units that have these clear, white spaces between them. But in practicality, words are often getting smooshed together, squished together, these very visceral [squish noises] words.

Lauren: It sounds unpleasantly messy to my mind, but I guess we’ll stick with it.

Gretchen: Would you say it “squicks” you out, for another one?

Lauren: It “squicks” me out a little bit, for sure.

Gretchen: Okay. I find them very delightful. I think it’s really vivid and, you know, like “slime” that all the kids are into these days.

Lauren: And, as we’ll discover in this episode, incredibly useful words are constantly coming together, crashing into each other, smooshing together as part of the process of how language grows and changes.

Gretchen: It’s a really fun concept. Portmanteaus are one relatively vivid example of smooshing because we’re often still aware of “breakfast” and “lunch” or “motor” and “hotel.” You can see the connection for how they came to smoosh together very vividly.

Lauren: In this episode, we’re gonna look at two very different kinds of linguistic smooshing and how bringing together sounds and meanings in different ways can affect the way that language is used and how it changes.

Gretchen: We did, ages ago, an episode about several different kinds of linguistic nothings, about different ways that aspects of nothing or silence or absence of a thing can mean something. Those came from a whole bunch of different areas. When we were talking about different kinds of linguistic smooshing, that also seemed like a chance to talk about different types of linguistic phenomena that all have this thing in common where the words glom onto each other.

Lauren: We couldn’t help but start with the portmanteau.

Gretchen: Absolutely. The thing that fascinates me about portmanteaus is that some of them really work, like “frenemy,” that’s great. What a good and useful combination which, surprisingly, dates back to 1891.

Lauren: I feel like it’s one of those such satisfying combinations that I’d be unsurprised to discover people have coined it and coined it again.

Gretchen: Yeah, because it’s got this great sense of dissonance between frenemies, but yeah, the OED has it from 1891, even though it feels very modern – to modern-day “Kenergy” or “Kenough” from Ken in the Barbie movie. Portmanteaus are still going. We’re still coining them.

Lauren: English in particular seems particularly prone to them.

Gretchen: I have encountered some examples of portmanteaus in Spanish. If you’re combining English and Spanish in the same sentence, some people might refer to that as “Spanglish” in English. But I’m told that you can also call “Espanglish” in Spanish.

Lauren: Oh, that’s very satisfying. The portmanteau works in both languages so similarly.

Gretchen: I have also come across “amigovio,” which is from “amigo” and “novio,” so that’s “friend” and “boyfriend” or “girlfriend,” to refer to, you know, some relationship that’s got a few aspects of both – maybe friend-with-benefits type thing.

Lauren: Ah, yeah. I do like how portmanteaus pop up when there’s this really satisfying meaning that’s carved out of the two words that come together. They often do fill these cultural niches for some period of time.

Gretchen: Exactly. There’s a really fun Wikipedia article for “blend words,” which is the more technical linguistic term for what’s popularly known as “portmanteau” that has lots of fun examples in various languages. We’re not just gonna read a Wikipedia article to you, but if you want to go click on that, you can.

Lauren: I think “blend” really highlights how you’re blending together the sounds at the end of one word and the beginning of another word, but you’re also blending together the semantics of both of those words.

Gretchen: Do you wanna hear my favourite example of an absolutely multi-step, amazing blend in English?

Lauren: Sure.

Gretchen: Okay. Do you know the word “brot3”?

Lauren: Uh, I absolutely do not. Is that a robot?

Gretchen: This is not R2D2’s cousin.

Lauren: My favourite Star Wars character when people ask now, I’m gonna say, “It’s brot3.”

Gretchen: This is a very Tumblr-in-the-2010s word, I will say, which dates me.

Lauren: I think it’s also good to point out that cultures can be the entirety of English when it comes to “motel” or Tumblr in the 2010s when it comes to “brot3.”

Gretchen: It starts with an acronym, which is “OTP,” which stands for “one true pairing.”

Lauren: Okay, acronym, another classic 20th Century obsession of English.

Gretchen: Absolutely. People who would say, “Oh, these two characters on this show” – or in this book or movie – “I think they should get together. They’re my one true pairing.” Things like that. But then this takes on a hyperbolic meaning, so it doesn’t have to be an actual one pairing that I think is the best, it can just be like, “I think these two characters should get together” or it would be interesting if they got together. Then people start saying, “Well, what if three characters got together?” So, instead of an “OTP,” you had an “OT3”?

Lauren: Mm-hmm, I’m following.

Gretchen: Yeah. But then, if you want three characters to interact in more of a platonic way, maybe like they’re bros, you could then have a “Bro-T3,” which is where the portmanteau part comes in.

Lauren: Amazing. So many processes happening to create this one lexical item.

Gretchen: It’s beautiful, and I love it.

Lauren: And, again, really carving out this particular cultural need. That’s part of what makes a successful portmanteau successful. There’s some really great work from Constantine Lignos and Hilary Prichard where they quantified what makes a good blend word, which I thought was really great. Some of those words I chose for you at the start, Gretchen, came from their less-successful list.

Gretchen: I thought those were very unsuccessful words like “fozzle” and “brinkles.”

Lauren: They also had on that list “wonut.”

Gretchen: “Wonut.” Uh. Oh, wait.

Lauren: It’s not a sad donut.

Gretchen: It’s a donut full of woe. It’s a sad donut. Okay, no, wait, it’s probably like a “waffle donut”?

Lauren: Yeah. In the vein of the “cronut,” the croissant donut, there was this – or it still is an ongoing combination of carb-based bakery foods that tend to get portmanteaued.

Gretchen: Yeah, okay, I dunno. The cronut is fine, but I don’t think wonuts are gonna happening any time soon.

Lauren: And “wegotism.”

Gretchen: No.

Lauren: I love that you refuse to even try and define it for me. You’re just like, “Whatever that is – no.”

Gretchen: I mean, I guess it’s from “we” and “egotism,” but I don’t like it.

Lauren: Yeah, it’s egotism but for more than one person. There’s nothing like seeing a portmanteau that falls flat to make you appreciate how satisfying a really good one is.

Gretchen: Tell me some other good ones. Please wash my brain out of this.

Lauren: Some of the good ones include “mathlete,” “guestimate,” and “mockumentary.”

Gretchen: All really satisfying in a way that “wegotism” just doesn’t do it for me.

Lauren: That’s because you can understand them, and you can figure them out from their constituent parts without needing me to prompt you that we’re talking about baked goods or weather.

Gretchen: One of the other ones that they pointed out as a – I’ll let you guess whether this was a good or a bad example, but I think it’ll be pretty obvious – was “groutfit.”

Lauren: A “groutfit.” Is that when you have an outfit with lots of tiling grout holding it together?

Gretchen: Well, this is the point they make in the paper is “Is it a green outfit, a grey outfit, a great outfit?”

Lauren: No, it’s a “grout-outfit.”

Gretchen: That’s the only version that’s satisfying.

Lauren: If you had an outfit that was made of grout, that would be a very satisfying blend word.

Gretchen: You can dress like that for Halloween.

Lauren: I feel like that’s low on what they call “applicability.” It’s not very applicable to many contexts except maybe if you’re at a fancy dress party for tilers.

Gretchen: If anyone has any pictures of internet groutfits, we do want to see them. One of their factors is understandability, which “groutfit” fails on if it stands for “green” or “grey” or “great.” And another factor is applicability, which “groutfit” fails on if it stands for “grout” and “outfit.”

Lauren: A word has to fit your mouth in a really satisfying way that “guestimate” and “mockumentary” do. The overlap there is so nice, and it feels like a real word.

Gretchen: It has this sense of it feels English-y already. It feels like it’s typical of the language. It helps – and think this is a really interesting factor when it comes to portmanteaus – if the combined words share a syllable or at least a sound, especially a vowel sound. So, “glitterati,” “gaydar, “hacktivism” – all really great.

Lauren: There’s a nice, big, clear hinge at the two points of the word.

Gretchen: You have that “litter” – “glitterati,” which goes from “glitter” to “litterati.” You’ve got a whole “litter” for them to overlap at, which is great, whereas something like, what do you think of “legacyquel”?

Lauren: “Lega- legacy” – “legacy” is a word, and “sequel” is a word, but there’s too much overlap there for my mouth and brain to cope with.

Gretchen: Also, they’re spelled very differently, the C in “legacy” is with C-Y, versus S-E for “sequel,” which makes it look really weird on the page.

Lauren: I’ve just looked at where you’ve written that down on the page, and like, I didn’t even look at that as an English word.

Gretchen: Yeah, it’s really bad. How do you feel about “privelobliviousness”?

Lauren: It sounds like a very fancy word, and it looks like an absolute car crash written down.

Gretchen: It just doesn’t look like the other words that we have in English. Or “gymtimidation.”

Lauren: Again, I think with English it’s such a writing-based language that for any portmanteau to have legs, it has to be satisfying written down as well as spoken.

Gretchen: They also had “condesplaining” in their list, which I will grant, written down, doesn’t look too bad, but yeah, I dunno.

Lauren: I think that’s because a lot of the time another thing that blends have going for them is that they’re fun.

Gretchen: Yeah.

Lauren: It’s a fun and playful thing, and “condesplaining” is not necessarily a thing you’ll use in a fun way.

Gretchen: I mean, like “mansplaining” has definitely caught on, but it doesn’t have that extra syllable of “condesplaining,” which really makes the word seem more insufferable. But their examples of fun words like “Sharknado” and “sheeple,” I’m like, “Yeah!”

Lauren: Yeah, I think portmanteaus are definitely a kind of word play, and the more novel-but-satisfying a portmanteau you can come up with, the better a success that is.

Gretchen: I first got introduced to the linguistic analysis of portmanteaus through a paper by a linguist that I knew in grad school named Cara DiGirolamo. She was analysing specifically fandom pairing names. This is things like if you have Sherlock Holmes and John Watson, and you call them “Johnlock” or something like that. She was analysing, in particular, names from the TV show “Glee,” which was popular at the time, and how the fans talked about various combinations of wanting those characters to get together by combining their names into portmanteaus.

Lauren: Right. A very useful activity for people deep in this particular fandom.

Gretchen: And a very useful activity for linguists because sometimes it’s hard to come up with, okay, we need these two words to combine with each other, and then we also need it to have a plausible meaning, and so on and so forth, whereas with the characters, you can just pick any two characters and be like, “What if they were a couple?” You can end up with these phonologically implausible combinations because, obviously, the creators of the show weren’t thinking, “Oh, I’ve got to name my characters stuff that will be combined well.”

Lauren: Of course, this is why big linguistics bankrolls major TV and pop culture so that we can create the conditions in which we can study the ways that people blend character names to create fandom pairings.

Gretchen: Absolutely I wish that was the case.

Lauren: I assume this is how she collected her data.

Gretchen: I think she may have been hanging out with the fandom, to be fair, at the time.

Lauren: Right, okay, was more of an anthropological observation thing than billionaire-media-mogul-creates-natural-experiment thing.

Gretchen: Please, if there are any billionaire media moguls listening who want to fund this research –

Lauren: Have we got some natural experiments for you to run.

Gretchen: We can connect you with some grad students. She has this really fun case study of the two characters Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray, who various members of the fandom wanted to get together. At first, they made their pairing name “Quichel,” which is from “Quinn” and “Rachel.”

Lauren: Okay, I guess it is – “Quinn” and “Rachel.” “Quichel”? “Quichel.”

Gretchen: Yeah, well, so it’s sort of fine if you say it out loud, but if you write it down, a lot of people see it, and they think “quiche,” like the food.

Lauren: Oh, “quiche” – “Quiche-el.” Yum?

Gretchen: Yeah, but not exactly like the connotation that they were trying to convey. The fandom actually decided that “Quichel,” “Quiche-el,” was too difficult of a pairing name combination to have. They held a vote for what should be the replacement name for referring to the combination of these two characters.

Lauren: Very democratic.

Gretchen: They ended up with “Faberry.”

Lauren: “Faberry”?

Gretchen: Which does have this nice B overlap. Because remember if two words have a sound in common, you can overlap them at that common sound from “Fabray” and “Berry” to “Faberry.” She used this poll to argue for, okay, “What are the criteria that people are using to figure out whether a combination feels satisfying or not?” One of those is pronunciation, but another one of those is “Does the spelling seem to correspond to that?” using English’s notoriously irregular spelling system.

Lauren: So, that stuck, and they stopped being called “quiche.”

Gretchen: Apparently, yeah.

Lauren: So good.

Gretchen: No more “quiche.”

Lauren: The playfulness of blends fits into their origin in a lot of ways. People have been playing around with this way of doing things in English off and on for a long time. As we said, definitely, the 20th Century was the rise of the portmanteau, but Lewis Carroll is generally credited with making them something quite popular with his 1872 poem “The Jabberwocky.”

Gretchen: So, “Jabberwocky” starts, “Twas brillig, and the slithy toves / Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: / All mimsy were the borogroves, / And the mome raths outgrabe.” This is a poem of mostly nonsense words in between normal English function words like “the” and “and.” You can tell what they’re supposed to do, but you don’t actually know what a “borogrove” or a “rath” or a “slithy tove” looks like.

Lauren: Some of these words were the combination of two other words.

Gretchen: Right. So, “slithy” is from “sly” and “filthy.”

Lauren: That’s interesting because I pronounce it as /slaɪði/.

Gretchen: Oh, I mean, apparently Lewis Carroll wants people to say /slaɪði/. I just looked at it and said /slɪθi/ because that’s what it looked like to me, which is, again, an example of how English orthography is not necessarily a guide to how to actually pronounce something. This shows up in portmanteaus a lot. He also really wanted it to be /gæɹ̩ ænd gɪmbl̩ ɪn ðə wɛɪb/ but like, I instinctively pronounce that /d͡ʒæɹ̩ ænd d͡ʒɪmbl̩/, so you know, this is one of the things that happens with coining a word is that you don’t necessarily retain control of it.

Lauren: What’s really interesting is that some of his portmanteaus from the poem have stuck. So, “chortle,” which is generally considered a blend of “chuckle” and “snort,” has become a word that has its own life outside of “Jabberwocky” the poem now.

Gretchen: Carroll called these words “portmanteau words” because a “portmanteau” was, at the time, a relatively commonly used word in English to refer to a briefcase or a travelling case or a bag for clothes or other necessities and, originally, from French meaning a coat carrier, to carry a coat. The idea was, for him, that it was two meanings packed up into one word as if you put them in a little suitcase together.

Lauren: It’s so funny that we’ve kept the meaning of the word for words and not for transporting clothing.

Gretchen: It kind of is. I find – like, the technical linguistic term is “blend,” which is a very bland choice of like, “Okay, we’ve blended these two words together.” “Portmanteau” is interesting but also a bit obscure because we don’t use that word for suitcases anymore. We can call them “suitcase words,” I guess, but that also seems a little bit weird.

Lauren: I was devastated to discover that “portmanteau” is not actually a portmanteau. It’s long enough, and it has the feeling that it could be a blend of words, but it’s just actually a compound in French of like, “port,” “carry,” and “manteau,” “coat.” Disappointingly not a portmanteau.

Gretchen: I love it when words like this for, especially, silly linguistic phenomena are themselves examples of the type of thing they’re trying to describe. What if you could make a name for blends or portmanteaus that is itself a combination of two words? I dunno. “Blerd” for “blend word.”

Lauren: Aw, it’s hard when your portmanteau creates a word that is a word already. We have “blurred,” so that’s probably not –

Gretchen: That’s true.

Lauren: Or it just sounds terrible saying “wordbination.”

Gretchen: “Worbination,” “werbinate” – hmm.

Lauren: “Word” and “combine” don’t actually have anything in common. Trying to smoosh them together is an exercise in failure. It doesn’t help that “word” and “blend” are both words that are very short.

Gretchen: What are some other words that are related to words that are longer?

Lauren: I guess if you had a lot of blends – because they create a lot of utility in the way that we speak – you could say that a group of blends is a “flexicon.”

Gretchen: Ooo, like a “flexible lexicon.” It’s got this nice little “lex” combination there.

Lauren: I think I’m definitely stretching what could be relative to referencing a portmanteau word.

Gretchen: Yeah. And a “flexicon,” it’s a satisfying word as itself, but it doesn’t transparently connect to the meaning of a blended word or a smooshed together word or a combined word. I guess we have to keep calling them “portmanteaus” and “blends” because there isn’t a better self-defining option, but I wish there was.

Lauren: Do you know another word that’s a portmanteau word?

Gretchen: Many, but it sounds like you have one in mind.

Lauren: “Lingthusiasm.”

Gretchen: [Laughs] Oh, hey, of course it is! So, our podcast, in case you hadn’t noticed this from the byline is a combination of “linguistics” plus “enthusiasm.”

Lauren: It’s a podcast that’s enthusiastic about linguistics.

Gretchen: We sure are. I think we did an okay job at coming up with this blend, but I will say it is a little bit hard to pronounce.

Lauren: It definitely writes better than it speaks.

Gretchen: Yeah, it writes better, but when I’ve tried to be on other podcasts or tell people about podcasts, I’m like “ＬＩＮＧ – ＴＨＵＳＩＡＳＭ.” I have to say it very carefully because having the /ŋ/ before the /θ/ is just sort of a lot.

Lauren: Yeah, that /ŋ/ is right on the back of your mouth, and /θ/ is just tucked in at the teeth there, so you’re moving really far through the mouth.

Gretchen: It’s ironic that, as a linguistics podcast, we have a name that is linguistically objectively difficult to say.

Lauren: What I enjoy about it, Gretchen, is it lets us see the different ways that people deal with this. Some people hyper-articulate and hit both the /ŋ/ and the /θ/. Some people just don’t even bother sending their tongue all the way back for that /ŋ/ sound, and instead just pronounce it something like /lɪnθʊziæsm/ or /lɪmfʊziæsm/ – I quite like that.

Gretchen: Or sometimes people introduce a bit of a K sound or a G sound in between to provide a transition the way that sometimes you hear people say /hæmpstɹ̩/ as “HAMP-STER” with a P even though there isn’t originally, etymologically a P there, but you can produce a P in /hæmpstɹ̩/ to help you say it. You can have like /lɪŋkθʊziæsm/, like give it a bit of a K there. All right, I’ll take it. It’s an interesting, fun linguistics experiment that we’re doing on everybody.

Lauren: The great thing is that this way that people either create that K by taking the /θ/ back a little bit or create a /n/ instead of a /ŋ/ and bring the tongue forward, this is a very common type of sound change process that creates another kind of smooshing.

Gretchen: This is our second kind of linguistic smooshing which is often happening within a word but sometimes happening between words when they’re said very close together and making the sounds more similar to each other.

Lauren: This is a process known as “assimilation,” which is a very useful, does-what-it-says word when it comes to linguistic sound processes.

Gretchen: “Assimilation,” as in the sounds become more similar to each other.

Lauren: Yeah. Not a great word in other contexts.

Gretchen: No, it has rather unfortunate social implications, doesn’t it.

Lauren: Yeah. People assimilation – not great. Sound assimilation – super common.

Gretchen: Very common. Really in, I think, basically all of the languages, at least languages that are actually being used by humans who have bodies in this day and age.

Lauren: We are efficient.

Gretchen: If you are learning to cook or something, and you’re a new cook, you’re gonna take your knife and chop the carrots in a very slow and awkward and clumsy process, whereas if you see a video of someone who’s very professional and they’re just like [chopping sounds] and doing this very efficient, smooth, no-wasted-movements process for chopping their onions or whatever, that’s what you’re doing with your tongue when you’re making the sounds just a little bit more similar to each other in order to make them a little bit easier to produce.

Lauren: You get these really interesting consistencies in the way that sounds get smooshed together.

Gretchen: Because we’re working with bodies that have very similar constraints. One of my favourite examples of linguistic assimilation is what happens with sounds like M and N in some contexts. Let me give you some words and tell me what they have in common.

Lauren: Okay.

Gretchen: I have “inactive.” “inedible,” “imperfect,” “imbalance,” “independent,” “instable,” and “incurious.”

Lauren: They all start with I. I want to say they all have a prefix that means the same thing like “not.” You’re not edible; you’re not stable; you’re not cautious. They’re basically the same prefix. Some are N, and some are M.

Gretchen: Sometimes, we write this prefix like “im-” – “imperfect,” “imbalance,” “immaterial,” “immovable.” There’s loads of them. Sometimes, we write this prefix like “in-” like in “inactive,” “inedible,” and “incautious,” “infrequent.” But we pronounce it slightly differently, especially with that “IMperfect,” where it gets an M, versus “INdependent,” where it goes an N. This is because of the next sound.

Lauren: So, “imperfect,” we have a P. “Independent,” we have a D. P, like an M, is made with the lips, and D, like an N, is made just behind the teeth.

Gretchen: Exactly. In writing, we make this distinction between /m/ – M and N – but there’s actually a few more subtle differences in terms of how the sounds are made between “infrequent,” which you could say as /infɹikwɛnt/. But often, people actually move that N a little bit closer and pronounce it with the teeth on the lips as well as the F – /in̪fɹikwɛnt/.

Lauren: /in̪fɹikwɛnt/.

Gretchen: Or /in̪vəlɪd/.

Lauren: Congrats to everyone joining us on public transport or while out for a walk just going “Fuh-ree-kwent,” “Innnn-frekwent.”

Gretchen: Yeah, please make some sounds and make people next to you look at you a little bit funny. It’s fine. Welcome to the club. Or, you know, make it with your mouth and don’t articulate if you have to. There’s this /in̪fɹikwɛnt/ – and the same with something like /iŋkɑʃʌs/ or /iŋkəɹiʌs/, /iŋkəɹɛɪʃʌs/ where you tend to move the nasal sound – the N – to be more of an /ŋ/ like in “sing,” move it back to the same place that you’re constricting your tongue as with the /k/ sound – /iŋkɑʃʌs/. It’s like “ink-cautious” – “ing-cautious, “ing-conceivable.”

Lauren: It’s so interesting some of these turn up in the writing system, and some of them don’t and completely escape our notice.

Gretchen: The M is right there in writing, and so you have to remember, “Oh, you have to write it different,” but the pronunciation is right there and straightforward. Then the N in “incautious” or “incurious” is not there in the writing, but you know to pronounce it that way because it’s just easier to do even if no one’s actually told you. You’re just like, “Oh, well, that’s easier.” There’s a few that are just totally in the writing system. You also have words like “illegible” or “irreplaceable.”

Lauren: Because we’re just decided instead of saying, “IN-legible” or “IN-replaceable,” it’s just easier to make that one sound.

Gretchen: That’s just way too hard. These words – the “in-” prefix in English – goes back to Latin, so you find words like this in a whole bunch of languages that have gotten these words from Latin because already in Latin they were like, “Yeah, you just have to make it more similar. That’s what you do.”

Lauren: It’s not just in these prefixes that this assimilation happens because we saw with “LING-thusiasm,” it’s that same kind of thing with the nasal moving to accommodate for the next sound. Or my favourite, which is if you listen to pretty much anyone say the word “handbag” in rapid speech, a lot of the time it’ll become “HAM-bag,” as in –

Gretchen: The bag that you keep ham.

Lauren: The place where you store your ham. Mmm.

Gretchen: Mmm.

Lauren: But it’s pretty unlikely that you’ll be talking about ham storage situations at the same time as you’re talking about the purse that you grab every day, and so we don’t actually pay attention to the distinction because we normally don’t need to.

Gretchen: My favourite example of this is in the word “input,” which is not from the kind of “in-” that means “not,” because it’s not the opposite of “put” – you can either PUT something or you can IN-put it – it’s from the thing that you “put in,” where this other “in” means “inside of” and is not the same thing. But because it’s so hard to say “IN-put,” most of the time in rapid speech, people are actually saying /ɪmpʌt/.

Lauren: I feel like I often type “imput.”

Gretchen: Yeah, me, too! And then they underline it in the red squiggles, and I’m like, “No! C’mon, you know what I meant. This is the better way to spell it anyway.” There’s a bunch of Latin prefixes that do it like the Latin prefix “com-” as in “with.” You have “companion.”

Lauren: With an M.

Gretchen: Someone you break bread with – “com-pan.” There’s the M before the P. But “collect” – that “coll-” – the double L – is still a nasal that’s just been [whooshing noise] made to be like the L.

Lauren: Really? I’m so mad right now.

Gretchen: And “consume” – there it is as an N.

Lauren: Uh-huh, it’s not “com-sume” because that’s too hard to say.

Gretchen: Even “coordinate,” before a vowel, you just drop the following nasal entirely in that case.

Lauren: I’m also angry.

Gretchen: They’re all the same prefix. It just means “with.”

Lauren: Right.

Gretchen: Same with the Greek prefix, which comes to us via Latin, “syn-” meaning “together.” So, “symphony,” where that M becomes like the P-H sound, the /f/, /sɪmfəni/. And “syntax.”

Lauren: As in –

Gretchen: All the same “syn-”.

Lauren: “Syn-” and “sym-” in “symphony” and “syntax” are the same.

Gretchen: They’re all the same “syn-”.

Lauren: Ugh, this thing with nasals turns up all over the place – and not just in English and Latin and Greek. We have links to papers in the shownotes to Jakarta Indonesian, Arsi-Bale Afan Oromo, and also Akan, which is a language of Guana. There are so many languages where this is a super common process.

Gretchen: This is basically if I found a language that had a nasal and then another consonant, and they didn’t assimilate, I’d be sort of surprised at this point.

Lauren: Mm-hmm. It’s so common that the phrase “homorganic nasal assimilation” is just one of those phrases that you pick up, and it sticks with you because it turns up again and again.

Gretchen: I like “homorganic nasal assimilation” because it seems really complicated, but you can break it down etymologically in a way that’s really satisfying. You have “hom-organic,” so that’s the “homo-” prefix meaning “same” and then the “same organ.” So, it’s the same part of the mouth – whether it’s the lips or just behind the teeth or towards the back of the roof of the mouth or various other places. You want to have the nasal sound be at the same spot in the mouth as the sound that’s coming after it.

Lauren: “Homorganic nasal assimilation.”

Gretchen: It’s really nice.

Lauren: Very satisfying. Of course, not the only process of assimilation. There are a lot of these processes that happen. They happen with vowels getting more similar to each other.

Gretchen: We did a whole episode about the kind of assimilation that happens with C and G before different vowels, like why C and G seem to come in hard and soft versions, unlike most of the other consonants, because they tend to be affected and made more similar to the next vowel that’s coming after them.

Lauren: And rest assured that signers as well as speakers are good at being efficient when it comes to articulation. You get assimilation in signed languages as well.

Gretchen: There’s a really interesting video from 1913 – which has got to be some of the older videos of signed languages – about this signer named George Veditz in his film called, “The Preservation of American Sign Language.” It shows him signing the old ASL word “remember.” In this video from over a hundred years ago, he’s signing it starting with an open hand at the forehand, and then the hand would come down and close into a fist, and the thumb would touch the top of the other thumb from the non-dominant hand. Now, it’s just the thumb at the forehead to the thumb touching the other hand, both in fists the whole time. You can see videos of this. We’ll link to it in the description.

Lauren: It’s such a charming old video. He just has this olde-y time-y – the footage is old, but he also does this little head nod while he’s doing it. It’s incredibly charming. But as you said, you go from having the open hand to a fist with the thumb, and now, over a century of assimilating the handshape, people just go from the thumb at the forehead to the thumb down at the other thumb.

Gretchen: It’s an example of making it more efficient by not changing the movement midway through the sign.

Lauren: You see a lot of these changes in signed articulation where people will just keep the same handshape, or they won’t change location for a sign where the position of the body might have moved in an older version of it to keep things efficient.

Gretchen: I think it’s neat to look at the sign examples because, when we write words down, it’s not always clear that M and P have this particular relationship of both being produced with the lips. You have to go back and think about that as a speaker. A lot of sounds happen inside the mouth so that can’t really see them very well. You can see the signs becoming more similar to each other in a way that’s obscured for us by writing systems sometimes.

Lauren: Writing systems are really holding us back when it comes to thinking about assimilation because they’re so conservative. We really lose a lot as written language users when it comes to keeping track with changes that are happening in speech but don’t necessarily reflect well in the writing system.

Gretchen: Sometimes, we do start writing words in ways that correspond more closely to how they’re being spoken. I’m thinking of words like “gonna” and “hafta,” which have been respelled from “going to” and “have to.” I don’t think very many people at all say, “I HAVE to go to the store.” You might say, “I have TWO donuts,” but “I HAF to go to the store.”

Lauren: But you definitely can’t write “gonna” or “hafta” in a school essay.

Gretchen: No, they’re not part of this formal register, but they’re very much part of the texting or social media or informal written register, and there are relatively consistent ways of writing them even though they’re not formalised. Like, “gonna” tends to be written with two Ns, “gotta” with two Ts, “wanna” also with two Ns. They have these consistent ways of spelling them even though they’re part of this informal writing register.

Lauren: It’s interesting to watch this little “to” here, this function word, which, if you say it by itself, you get the full word.

Gretchen: “Going to.”

Lauren: But when it is in these quicker phrases, you can see that it’s getting squished into the previous word. That sound is being assimilated, and that vowel “to,” which is very much at the back of the mouth with the tongue, but it gets more and more towards the middle, and the lips get less and less rounded as it becomes less articulated.

Gretchen: Yeah, it gets more and more of a neutral, default /ə/ vowel – the schwa vowel – which is the least extreme of anything your mouth can be doing. It’s the most efficient vowel that you just say if you’re making an “uh” – like making a grunt sound or an “uh,” a neutral sound. It gets made to be the easiest thing to do because these words are super high frequency, we’re saying them all the time, and you don’t really need that added information of what else could it be in that context. So, “going to” becomes “gon tuh” becomes “gon na.”

Lauren: This reduction that constantly goes on is part of how language gets used. It’s like a path that we continue to wear down, and things become more assimilated through that phonetic process, and they start to lose particularly clear meaning, and then you create this ability for the language to generate things that eventually just become part of the grammar or part of a single word through this smooshing.

Gretchen: It’s a trajectory from very concrete words to very abstract, grammaticalised words, so from something that means like, “go,” as in physically move to a place, versus something that just means a generalised, abstract concept of “future.” So, “I’m going to the store” is physically moving to place, whereas “I’m gonna bake a cake” is a notion of future that doesn’t mean that I’m going to walk to the cake in the same way.

Lauren: I love it when you eventually get to it’s totally fine to say, “I am going to come,” and it’s just like, if you think about them in their semantic sense, it’s a contradiction, but this happens across languages. The future is often created in this way. If a language didn’t have a future tense, it will create one through this process.

Gretchen: Or sometimes create a second, bonus, extra future.

Lauren: You can never have too much future. You get this reduction in the sound. You get this reduction in how much meaning is in a word, and it becomes less concrete and more abstract.

Gretchen: Or sort of, yeah, a reduction in terms of how much concrete meaning but an enhancement in terms of the ability to express more abstract concepts.

Lauren: Well, yeah, it becomes a very useful part of something that becomes more grammatical.

Gretchen: My favourite example of this process and how cyclic it is is the French word “aujourd'hui.” “Aujourd'hui” in French means “today.”

Lauren: Great.

Gretchen: That’s just what it means. If you look at it, and you have a little bit of French, you might say, okay, “aujourd'hui,” we could break that down. The “au” means “at the” or “on the” – itself smooshing from “à le,” but we’re gonna ignore that. The “jour” part means “day.” Great. Itself also a smooshing from something in Latin, but we’re also gonna ignore that.

Lauren: Yeah, it’s smooshing all the way down.

Gretchen: It’s smooshing all the way down. There’s really so much smooshing smooshed into this one word. The “d’” – the D + apostrophe – is from “de,” which is itself, again, smooshing – it means “of.”

Lauren: Oh, I’m shocked.

Gretchen: So, these are fairly well known French words if you break them down. And then you have this last part which is spelled H-U-I. It’s pronounced /wi/ – “Aujourd'hui.”

Lauren: I’m gonna guess, Gretchen, that that’s been smooshed down from something.

Gretchen: Oh, Lauren, you’re so right. “Hui” /wi/ – which sounds like the French word for “yes” (oui) but is not – is an obsolete word that also means “today,” which is what the whole thing means.

Lauren: Amazing. So, the word “today” in French, if you break it down etymologically, means “on the day of today.”

Gretchen: But we don’t even need to stop there.

Lauren: Right.

Gretchen: Because “hui” comes from Latin “hodie.”

Lauren: Right.

Gretchen: Which is a contraction of “hac die” meaning “on this day.”

Lauren: “On this day.”

Gretchen: So, “aujourd'hui” – “au jour de hodie” – is literally “on the day of on this day.”

Lauren: Amazing.

Gretchen: It’s got two days in it. It’s not today – well, it is two-day – but it’s “two,” T-W-O.

Lauren: It is extremely today.

Gretchen: It is extremely today. It is extra much today because it’s like you had a path that started eroding, and so you put some extra paving stones in to sure it up and added an extra “day” so you wouldn’t get confused about the word “oui” that means “yes.”

Lauren: It’s stories like this and it’s the realisation that language is constantly doing this that makes me feel really comforted by the kind of processes of use. Because it’s not a wearing out of language; it’s a lovingly using and laying down – and, you know, our portmanteaus today will become concrete words, and then they might get eroded down or re-blended or used again to create new, what could be grammatical forms. It all just continues on across history. It’s easy to see when you look across time how language continues to just get loved and used and worn.

Gretchen: It’s like how we can forget that “chortle” started off as a joke word from Lewis Carroll in this poem, and we’re like, “Well, that’s just a word that means a thing.” It’s not particularly a portmanteau. It’s just a word that I have. And we could then re-portmanteau it into another word and keep doing this process over and over again and building things up and smooshing them together and then building up more stuff and smooshing it back together. It’s a really exciting process of making stuff. I like how smooshing reminds us of the physicality of language and how, when you say a word that’s been smooshed, your body – your tongue, your hands – are tracing a path that so many other people’s bodies have also traced. It’s like when you’re walking down a set of stone stairs that have this dent in the middle from this very soft groove of everyone steps in it over centuries. You can feel that you’re going where some else was going. When you’re using a smooshed word, you’re participating in this language pathway that has been part of so many people’s bodies for so many generations.

[Music]

Gretchen: For more Lingthusiasm and links to all the things mentioned in this episode, go to lingthusiasm.com. You can listen to us on all of the podcast platforms or lingthusiasm.com. You can get transcripts of every episode at lingthusiasm.com/transcripts. You can follow @lingthusiasm on all the social media sites. You can get scarves with lots of linguistics patterns on them including the IPA, branching tree diagrams, bouba and kiki, and our favourite esoteric Unicode symbols, plus other Lingthusiasm merch – like our “Etymology isn’t Destiny” t-shirts and aesthetic IPA posters – at lingthusiasm.com/merch. Links to my social media can be found at gretchenmcculloch.com. My blog is AllThingsLinguistic.com. My book about internet language is called Because Internet.

Lauren: My social media and blog is Superlinguo. Lingthusiasm is able to keep existing thanks to the support of our patrons. If you wanna get an extra Lingthusiasm episode to listen to every month, our entire archive of bonus episodes to listen to right now, or if you wanna help keep making the show running ad-free, go to patreon.com/lingthusiasm or follow the links from our website. Patrons can also get access to our Discord chatroom to talk with other linguistics fans and be the first to find out about new merch and other announcements. Recent bonus topics include secret codes, inner voices, and how we made vowel plots with Dr. Bethany Gardner. Can’t afford to pledge? That’s okay, too. We also really appreciate it if you can recommend Lingthusiasm to anyone in your life who’s curious about language.

Gretchen: Lingthusiasm is created and produced by Gretchen McCulloch and Lauren Gawne. Our Senior Producer is Claire Gawne, our Editorial Producer is Sarah Dopierala, our Production Assistant is Martha Tsutsui-Billins, and our Editorial Assistant is Jon Kruk. Our music is “Ancient City” by The Triangles.

Lauren: Stay lingthusiastic!

[Music]

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

#linguistics #language #lingthusiasm #podcast #episodes #transcripts #episode 92 #smooshing #blend words #assimilation #morphology

10 notes · View notes

starrynightarchive · 1 month

Note

19, 6, 42, 22, 38, 33, 47, 50, 92, 90, 72, 75, 70

answer them all

demanding. hello to you too anon

19. what's been keeping you up at night lately?

your mom.

ok just kidding. uhhh not much. maybe the mistakes I need to fix and this distinct feeling of wrongness that lingers.

6. what role do you play in your group of friends?

let's ask them shall we

42. how did you meet your best friend(s)?

aha i actually wanted someone to ask this one! I'll give you three stories

sri: when i was in kindergarten i remember very clearly seeing this fucker in the restroom. she pulled out her handkerchief and made a banana out of it? i was not impressed. but she then proceeded to eat it/put it in her mouth. which I was impressed with. and then she saw me when I got stuck on the very top of this giraffe thing which you can climb. a teacher had to come up and get me down. bitch was just staring at me the whole time. didn't move a muscle. i love her so very much.

vhas: ok so. i had (have. love her very very much she's a menace and we met in a whole other way) a best friend and I got them into wattpad when I was 13. or 12. idk. then that friend in turn went to a classmate and made them join wattpad. so now all three of us started writing very bad very cringe stories. i was writing a straight romance paranormal story and vhas was writing some tragic yaoi godbles. i read it and fell in love with his writing. so one day, without warning, I just went up to him and said "hey! i love your writing!" and fucked right off. no intro no how are you no nothing. we ended up talking in hangouts (rip) and I made covers for his stories and shit. and then the rest is history.

sree: this is the menace friend. she lives really close to my house. first way we met was through our school bus (we took the same one and I sat next to her one day). she was reading harry potter and we figured that we both loved books. i introduced her to a few. and the very same week I went to my classical music class and they were there. i was like ??? but we became quick friends. proximity, similar interests, orange slices and stupidity. yeah. they're pretty neat.

22. how old were you when you joined the internet?

around 12, i think

38. what is your love language? i'm very expressive about my love for people, but the main ones are: physical touch, words of affirmation and gift giving.

33. have you ever thought about changing your name?

nope! i love my name very very much :D

47. how well-decorated is your bedroom?

not much. at first i had a sticky notes wall filled with quotes poetry etc etc but then had to take it down because it was getting dusty. then there's this huge ass micky mouse sticker stuck on my wardrobe (my dad bought it when I was a kid). skk chibi figurines and iwaoi standee both from my lovely friend vhas. then books. a few magnets stuck to my wardrobe. that's all

50. what do you consider most important in a romantic/platonic partner? being ready to put in work in the relationship. must be an open communicator/must be willing to try. oh, and a good sense of humour (this is very specific btw. i have a type. i will not elaborate).

92. who's in your dream blunt rotation? great question. idk if I'll ever smoke weed but. if I do tay will be my go-to person (@spiderbends)

90. weirdest habit?

i bite people. is that weird? idk

72. which is more important when it comes to clothing, comfort or style?

comfort all the wayyyy

75. how would you describe your favorite person?

icarus. burning wings. the kindest smile. the bravest man. lover, healer, believer. object of all my sweet dreams and sweetest nightmares.

70. when it comes to affection/intimacy, do you prefer to stick to one person or are you more open about it?

intimacy/affection to me isn't strictly connected to romance. and I'm a very affectionate person by nature. i love fiercely. all my loved ones will be bombarded with my love. get loved, loser.

#vi talks #ask game

9 notes · View notes

marierg · 5 months

Text

Of Light and Darkness: The Rising Darkness pt.4

Pairing: Obi Wan Kenobi X Reader

WARNINGS!: (IF YOU ARE NOT IN A GOOD PLACE MENTALLY DO NOT READ THIS PART!!!!!!!!) ANGST!!! Depictions of induced (reference Sith induced horror and mind shards) PTSD flashbacks, death, injury, near death, threatened death, battle scenes, blood, pain, regret, longing, anger, self loathing, foul language, SNAKES!.... Yeah if I missed anything let me know. Needless to say not light reading.... (Why'd it have to be snakes!)

note: if Italic indicates mental telepathy etc.

A/N: I take no credit for the movie dialogue that is all the work of the wonderful Mr. Lucas!!!! THIS IS A LOVING WORK OF FANFICTION!!! With that said I did take more than a few liberties but I tried to pull from the film and meld it into a cohesive piece. Much love to all the prequels and the folks there in!

Ok folks I will fully admit this one has been taking quite a while to cook because well... It took a hell of a lot out of me to do this one. I wanted it done just so and I didn't want to let it out to the tumblr verse otherwise. AGAIN please heed the warnings!!!!

Yes our reader is a badass (Her master is Mace frickin' Windu!) but even she ain't enough to take on a Sith. I also will reiterate that I believe that there are limitations to all force abilities.

If you have never seen Sir Christopher Lee fence in other films (actual swordsman really!) go watch some of his other works, they are amazing! I referenced the 1970's four musketeers specifically for the fight here, lot of fencing terms are used.

Picture/ GIF Credit: @92-guy, @supererick911, Lucasfilm & Pinterest

Words: 8456... (Holy moly!)

Masterlist Next

Dooku had always favored games of strategy as a child. Dejarik, Nexu and Hounds, Weiduk were all child's play compared to his game board now. It had been a long strategy, years of moving all of his pieces into play and now... now was the time to finally begin his endgame. Every forfeit and feign leading to this point.

“Senator Amidala won't you have a seat.”

Dooku observed as the Geonosian guards brought the young Senator and her companion roughly to the table. He restrained his annoyance at their... crude method of capture. Fortunately Fett had stepped in and salvaged the situation. Viceroy Gunray may want the woman dead, but she still held value. Killing was often the simplest answer to a problem, but it may not yet be the correct one. Patience often yielding the better option in any given situation. Given the difficulty of her capture he could see why she was a useful thorn in his Master's side.

Padme stared dispassionately at the Count, “I am here to discuss the Jedi Knights in your custody. If they are released immediately I am willing to overlook the assault of myself and Jedi Skywalker.”

“I'm not.” Anakin muttered under his breath.

“I'm afraid that I cannot allow that. You see Masters Kenobi and L/n have been convicted of espionage and sentenced to execution.” Dooku watched the young woman's face turn pale, her young protector closing rank behind her. The boy held his temper, but Dooku could feel it simmer just below the surface.

How very interesting...

“They're representatives of the Republic on an investigatory mission. You of all people should recognize that.” Padme gripped into the arms of the chair to ground her emotions. The Count pursed his lips and tilted his head sympathetically, but there was no honesty to the gesture.

“We do not recognize the Republic here, but if Naboo were to join our alliance,” Dooku's lips turned up in a kind façade, “I would gladly hear your petition for clemency.”

“And sacrifice my peoples rights to your charlatan council, I think not.” Padme's voice dripped venom, well remembering the causalities of the Trade Federation Blockade. “This anarchy must end Count, release the Jedi and I will see to it that you have appropriate representation when you are brought to trial.”

“A very kind offer Senator Amidala, but not one I think that you will be able to deliver on,” Dooku laughed in his chest. The girl still thought she could win, how quaint. Ah to have that youth and the ideals that once came with it. Dooku knew the true power and way of the galaxy that only came with age, it was a shame that this young woman would not live long enough to see for herself. “I'm afraid that given your own activities here, you and your Jedi compatriot have been found guilty of the same charges. I'm so very sorry my dear.”

Jango watched as the prisoners were led away, a dark feeling settling over him. The Jedi welp wouldn't have come on his own and that meant that there would be more on the way. Starting a war was a messy business, fighting one was not in the contract. Keeping a casual air he moved to speak with Tyranus. “I've been contacted about a bounty near Concord Dawn. I should leave within the hour, if I'm finished here that is.”

Dooku glanced at the hunter, feeling the unease in him though he hid it quite well. Fett would never be foolish enough to defy him, but he was just smart enough to see the likely trouble coming. Smiling at the man he rose, walking towards the hallway. It would be easy enough to let the hunter go about his business, but if Fett was uneasy then it was all the more reason to keep him close. “Of course my friend, I would never want to interfere in your dealings. I had hoped that you would join us for the execution, after all Boba seemed very excited when the entertainment was being brought in earlier. But if you must go...”

“It would be rude not to accept,” Jango kept his tone light, uncaring. He could see the man was testing him. He was a cagey one Tyranus, but not the first that Jango had delt with. Raising an amused brow at the older man he gave a half smirk, “Wouldn't want to disappoint the boy.”

Dooku smiled back, “Of course not.”

Of all the ways that you thought that you would die a gladiator arena hadn't even made the top ten. Your personal hope had been a clean death, nice and quick. Or maybe in your sleep. But as the chariot carrying you and Obi Wan approached the columns, seeing the deep tooth and claw gashes, cold dread washed over you. Dying wasn't frightening to you, but the thought of seeing Obi Wan suffer because of your failure... it was your very worst nightmare. Grasping at straws you fell back to dark humor, “Well at least the sun's shining.”

“A better show for our hosts I imagine,” Obi Wan gazed at you, sarcastic smile quirking up.

You snorted, “Glad to see you're optimistic at least.”

Obi Wan knew that tone, the resigned look. He had long prayed to not see it again, yet he too knew the grim reality of their situation. If by some miracle Anakin had sent the message on, a rescue may not reach the two of you in time. If escape were to happen it would be on their own skill to do so. “Just remember the plan and stay close, together or not at all wee one.”

“First round at Maffa's is on me.” Shaking your head and taking a deep breath you tried to smile.

“This day is not our end Y/n, I promise.”

As the guards finished securing your hands to the post you couldn't help the bitter tone of your reply, “Don't make promises you can't keep.”

------

The ship had dropped the rescue team as close as possible without being detected. It had taken considerable patience and negotiation to keep the civilian crew from joining the Jedi, one in particular had tested Mace's will. He had finally pulled Yalvaberg to the side, explaining that if the situation turned truly south that he was relying on her and the others to get them out quickly.

The girl had argued, yelled, begged to go. In the end Mace had asked her what you would do. It was a testament really, the loyalty and care of the gathered rag tag group. Glitch had handed him a comm and then squeezed his hand around it tightly, bidding her gods to guide them. Her last words to him and the others echoed in his ears even in the catacomb halls.

“Victory or Valhalla.”

Anakin's emotions swirled about him like a raging torrent. Despair, anger, hopelessness, and disappointment kept barely contained. He had failed his mother, he had failed his Masters, and now he was about to fail the woman he loved. It wouldn't even matter that she could not love him back, but that they would die together because he couldn't follow a simple order.

He felt so kriffing useless.

Anakin tried to find the calm within as you had taught him, to make peace with himself on the walk to the staging area. As Master Obi Wan often reminded him, in failure there is opportunity and from opportunity victory can yet be achieved.

“I'm sorry Anakin, I should have listened to you.” Padme swallowed as the guilt rose. Her hubris had led to this, thinking that these demagogues could be reasoned with.

“You have nothing to be sorry for Padme.”

“Yes I do,” She pursed her lips desperately trying to find the words.

Anakin glanced at her drawn face, finding the focus that he so needed. He would get Padme to safety even if it killed him. Putting on a confident face he tried to give her a reassuring look. “Don't be afraid.”

“Oh Anakin... I'm not afraid to die.” Padme shook her head with a somber grimace. “I've been dying a little every day since you came back into my life.”

Anakin winced, “What are you saying?”

She couldn't lie any longer, not to him and not to herself. If one could not be truthful in the face of death then how could they hope to see the other side of creation. Padme looked into those blue eyes, begging forgiveness for the deceit. “I love you.”

“You love me?” It was as if the whole of the Force had calmed his turmoil at her words. Anakin wanted to whoop and crush her to himself, but the shackles not withstanding he was still hesitant. He could feel the roll of her emotions within and as badly as he wished to believe Padme, Anakin remembered the bitter sting of her words from a few nights before. “I thought we decided not to fall in love. That we would be forced to live a lie... That it would destroy us.”

“Our lives are about to be destroyed anyway.” Turning as best the restrains would allow, Padme let go of her control. Tears pricking at the corners of her eyes as her voice trembled, “I know how I feel for you. As much as my mind begs me to stop, my heart won't obey. The moment that I saw you again I felt whole, not knowing that I was incomplete.”

“Padme I...” Anakin tried to reach for her, to reassure and comfort. He cursed and struggled against the chains.

“Ani please,” pressing her shoulder to his, Padme huffed a breath out, “I cannot control this love for you and I don't wish to anymore. I truly, deeply love you Anakin Skywalker.”

Anakin moved, desperately stretching to finally kiss her. Unable to do more than give the lightest pressure, he tried to put every bit of what he felt into the gentle melding. For once he dropped his own walls, wanting to feel more than just this sweet affection. The dazzling way her signature flickered as they kissed, the heat that rose in her cheeks. If Anakin could freeze time he would have this moment last forever.

It was a bittersweet kiss of love and regret, of time squandered. Maker he wished that she had simply told him the truth before now. He wanted to be upset with her, but the salt of her tears easily swept that away. Anakin would move the orbits of the stars to never see Padme cry again. Feeling the stutter in her breathing he tried to find the words to say. “My heart has always been yours my angel. When we get out of this...”

“Anakin.”

“WHEN we get out of this I will show you just how much I love you.” He kissed her again before she could speak. He wished he could stop the wheels of the chariot, to beg the galaxy a few moments more. Their lips parting as the vehicle exited the portal, Anakin's resolve was firm. The two of them would survive this. Padme loved him and he would not lose her now.

Not today nor any other.

Obi Wan shouldn't have been surprised to see his wayward Padawan, he shouldn't be surprised to see the Senator with him. None of that kept his temper from flaring the minute the two were transferred from the chariot and chained to the posts with the two of you. “I was beginning to wonder if you gotten our message.”

“We re transmitted it just like you asked,” Anakin replied with a forced an easy tone, “Then we came to rescue you two.”

Obi Wan glanced at the shackles on all four posts then back to Anakin, “Good job.”

“Padme, what happened?” Glancing to the younger woman you saw her face fall and felt a coldness within Anakin. “She's gone isn't she.”

“Now's not the time wee one, focus.” He narrowed his eyes at the far portal. “I do believe that the executioners have arrived.”

“I have a very bad feeling about this,” Anakin's stomach dropped.

The karks had chosen well. You watched as the Acklay, Nexu and Reek started stalking towards the posts. There was also movement below the sand, something causing a wavy movement in the grains. Whatever it was headed towards your post, hidden below the surface. “Yeah no kidding.”

“Just relax, concentrate.” Obi Wan bit out, surveying the area, “Try to get yourself free.”

Closing your eyes to focus on the shackle lock the danger crept ever near. The cuffs loosened finally, just enough that you could squeeze one hand out. Glancing at Padme you saw her already climbing the post. Copying the strategy you began your ascent when the pillar shook, almost knocking you to the ground.

Glancing down you saw as the triangular head of the creature emerged from the sands. Green and orange scales shimmering as the fans and spines on its back sprang out, serpentine figure rising to a staggering height. Using the Force you pulled yourself up the pole glancing down at the beast. “What in the ever loving kark?!”

“Stay away from it!” Padme screamed as she hit the pouncing Nexu with the chain again. “A Rawl, very dangerous.”

“No kidding,” you snarked back. Free of the last cuff you searched through your robes. The dagger wasn't very large but it was better than nothing. If you made it out of this you would owe the Hunter a great favor. Taking a swing you cut at the serpents nose as it came close to strike. Laughable attempt really, the creature could have used it as a toothpick after consuming you.

Gunray and the others were distracted by the spectacle as was Boba, who practically leaned over the parapet of the box for a better view. Jango had told the boy to be on the alert, his sense of unease was building. Dooku was chatting with his council as though this were a speeder race and not four beings fighting for their lives. The prisoners were doing well actually, Jango had to give credit to them. Sparing a glance in your direction he saw the concentrated look and then a faint smile.

Obi Wan was still trying to deal with the Acklay, his attempt at spearing the creature only resulted in angering it further. Anakin was having better luck with the Reek and the Nexu was now neutralized. Two down but where were you? Then he heard it, the joyous cheering in the crowd and Anakin's pain ripping through the Force. Glancing up he saw just as your boot disappeared down the serpent's maw. “No!”

Anakin charged with the reek crushing the Acklay and retrieving Obi Wan. Then the Rawl slithered towards all of them. Padme held onto him tightly as the creature reared up readying to strike again. Anakin squeezed her arm, “Don't look angel.”

But the creature stopped. Pausing mid slither, beginning to writhe.

Hacking and sputtering unable to draw breath the beast let out a series of angry hisses. Shaking its head and straightening up before a large wound began bursting from just below it's neck. It fell dead to the ground as the wound got larger, blood and viscera spilling on the sand. Then a hand poked out.

“Uh, Obi Boy if you aren't too busy out there... A LITTLE HELP!”

“Wee One!” Jumping down, Obi Wan reached through the mess to pull you up. Hugging you to his chest in relief he wanted to yell at you for scaring five years off his life. “Have I told you how beautiful you look today, because you are absolutely resplendent.”

Glancing at the approaching destroyer droids you gave him a quick hug back. “Later sweet man, escape first.”

Dooku felt the stirring in the Force before he heard the lightsaber ignite. Turning he was not at all surprised to see the glaring Head of the Jedi Counci. “Master Windu, how pleasant of you to join us.”

Jango glowered at the Jetii. He knew he should have left when he had the chance. Waiving at his son, Jango didn't want him getting mix in this. “Udesii Boba, Pare!”

Mace narrowed his eyes at the former Jedi. An enemy who had tried to kill his Padawan and grand Padawan. The righteous need to see the man brought to justice nearly clouding his better judgment. Still the disdain rolled through him and took hold in his voice, “This party's over.”

Multiple Jedi began to emerge around the arena, moving quickly to the four prisoners aid. Dooku grinned, how very noble... and predictable. Subtle amusement showed in his tone, “Brave, but futile my old Jedi friend. You're impossibly outnumbered.”

Mace heard the clanking of the droids coming. Glaring at his former college, pure venom in his words, “We'll see about that.”

Jango set loose his flamethrower just as the droids had the Knight distracted. He fell over the parapet but landed on his feet. Another appeared trying to cut down Tyranus, a few shots took care of that one well enough. His boss nodded thanks as Jango reholstered his blaster. Turning to his son he pulled the boy into the vom, “Boba get down to the ship and get ready for take off. Stay hidden and stay away from the fight.”

“But Dad!”

“No buts son, now go.” The boy ran down the corridor, pausing to look back at him. “Go on Boba, I'll be there shortly.”

The arena blurred as the Jedi charged to meet the droid army. You lose sight of Obi Wan and Anakin. The Geonosians bring in sonic cannons blasting indiscriminately, bodies and debris flying everywhere. All around there was pain and death rippling in the Force. No time to think, only to act. Your temper rose unbridled at the suffering surrounding you. Anger boiling over for the Knights and Padawans dying and injured.

Anger at Dooku for his betrayal.

Most of all anger at yourself.

For being too weak, for getting caught...

Reaching out to lift the crumbled column pieces and you began to fling them at the droids. No where to run, no where to hide for either side. Over and over, block after block you crush your opponents. “Come on you pieces of mechanical crap!”

You loosing the rocks across the floor of the arena, bringing others up to help deflect bolts meant for you and your comrades. Shots whiz past your head and you know at some point you will be hit. But there's just no time to be afraid and you are well acquainted with pain already. A steady presence in the Force draws near, like a warm blanket in the cold of a storm, calm and anchoring.

“Young Y/n.” The familiar modulated voice of Master Plo Koon floats through the air. The old Kel Doran stood beside you, surveying at the battle and he starts to direct your shots. “Aim for those cannons.”

Giving a nod you close your eyes in concentration, willing the Force to raise the largest of the pieces to the air. You channel everything you have into rocketing the marble chunk into the weapon. It explodes in fantastic fashion and you raise another to careen into one of the portal entries, blocking it so more droids cannot enter there.

“Well done,” Plo continues to deflect bolts as you work at the stone. The older Jedi knows though that their small group is being herded to a kill zone. He has fought many wars, knows that their position is untenable. “We need to evacuate.”

“Wounded to the middle, form up!” You cried out above the din. Looking around you feel your heart clench. So many dead Jedi, so many wounded, and for what? You had all fallen into Dooku's trap.

You looked to the senior Jedi around you, “What do we do?”

The booming voice of the Count echoed through the arena, “You have fought valiantly Masters, worthy of recognition in the Historical Archives...”

This was all your fault... this was all your fault... if you hadn't been caught!

The guilt races through you like a raging river to swallow you whole. But a hand gently grips your shoulder, one that has never really left you. Glancing up to Master Windu you can see that even in the face of disaster he will never yield. No, even if it were only him left, Master Windu would never cede the field of battle to the enemy. He squeezed and a calm settled over you once more and that very first lesson ran through your mind, “Not Today.”

“...But now it is finished. Surrender and your lives will be spared.” Dooku looked down imperiously upon the rabble below. They were foolish and idealistic as he had once been, never seeing the true power at work. Still they would serve their purpose in the grander plan, for the future his Master so desired. An offered sacrifice for the grander glory of the galaxy.

Order from chaos.

“We will not be hostages for you to barter Dooku!” Mace kept his temper and emotions barely in check. Glancing to the sky he prayed that the signal had worked. Just a few minutes more.

“Then I'm sorry old friend.” Dooku raised his hand ready to give the order to fire.

“I love you Obi Wan.” Closing your eyes you reached your signature to his, holding tight. You glanced at your apprentice, “Anakin it has been my honor to be your Master.”

Obi Wan glanced to you, readying for the fight. “I love you Y/n.”

Just as you were sure that the droids would start to fire there was a rumble through the air.

Padme glanced up, “LOOK!”

“Listen you armored pain in the ass, I don't give a Kark! Just get us down there and stay outta my way!” Glitch's temper reigned. She would not lose you or the other two space wizards that had become as close as family. She'd fight and die if it was called for. “And give me that thing, you'll hurt yourself.”

Deek saw the girl take hold of the Z-6 as if it weren't twice her size and could knock her square to the ground. “Damn it Glitch our objective is the wounded! Stick to the Maker damned plan!”

“Fine!” Glitch held fast to the cannon, “Oiy bucket brigade, make sure we got all the wounded on board before we lift.”

“Maker Kriffing Damn it to Hell Glitch!” If Deek wasn't flying the bird he'd kick her ass.

The troopers were also less than pleased by the woman's antics, “Ma'am it would be better...”

“Kark better!” The ship made a sharp descent and the mad woman gave a sheik. “The gods smile and fly with us today. Now get those wounded aboard and let a Valkar fight.”

The gunships began to circle around the Jedi as the droids began their assault again. You could hear a faint familiar tune and saw the nose art on the little bird as it came around. Looking over at Master Windu your face was incredulous, “You didn't?!”

He shrugged, “They insisted.”

Shaking your head you could hear the high pitched cackle above the din, “Glitch?!”

Mace shook his head as the two of you worked in tandem to block more shots from the droids. “She was quite insistent.”

On another transport Master Yoda directed the inbound craft. He had seen many battles but this, this was murder most cruel. His own apprentice, a boy he had taught and mentored, had caused such destruction. And now it fell to this weary Master to set things to right. First by recovering his knights. “Around the survivors a perimeter create.”

The old Jedi would give these clones credit, they were fine soldiers. The gunners coordinating their fire to take out whole swathes of battle droids. Upon landing the troopers instantly took up positions so that the Jedi could quickly evacuate. Yoda's heart broke at the sight of so few left.

The troopers started to grab the wounded from the arena floor, able bodied Jedi also moving to cover them. A cry familiar and haunting rose through the air sending a chill down your spine. Glitch had let loose such cry on one other occasion, on Norte. She gave it now as you watched her blast into the droids with her rifle. A bone chilling and ancient sound, the cry to war for her people. You shook yourself and organized the wounded onto the craft. “Deek get the wounded out of here!”

“Not without you and Glitch!” The old pilot's face was anguished at the thought of not taking you back. He had made that mistake once and dank ferrik he would not do it again! His heart couldn't bear the thought.

You felt the fear within him. You'd had this conversation many many times. At the end of the day, the needs of the many outweighed anything else. Looking at him softly, knowing that you needed to be strong for your friend, you gave the slightest push with the Force. “We'll get another one. I'll meet you on the flight deck old man.”

“Good Hunting.” There were tears in the old pilot's eyes as he lifted off. He knew you were right, that the troopers and the wounded Jedi on this craft needed him to fly. Deek prayed to whoever was listening, “Please not again, please bring them back.”

There was little time left and none for hesitation. Running across the sand you grabbed Glitch by the scruff of the neck, “MOVE IT YALVABEG! ASSHOLES AND ELBOWS, WE ARE LEAVING!”

Glitch turned to you with a smirk even as she surveyed the area one last time. “Boss you never let me have any fun!”

“Kid I swear I'm gonna refer you to psych again!” Both of you dove into the last transport with Masters' Yoda and Windu. The LA-AT was no little bird, rising so quickly you could feel the fillings in your teeth being pulled by the G forces.

Glitch did a double take looking a the small green being next to her. “Oh, hello again little boss!”

You chuckled to the unamused, bewildered looks from Masters Mundi and Plo. “Glitch focus, need you on the door gun.”

"Yeah yeah yeah. So bossy!" The young woman stuck her tongue out at you even as she took up the position, “You know you're getting boring in your old age.”

“Smartass!” You gave her a playful kick as the ship made another sharp turn and began taking fire. “Shit, hold on!”

“If Dooku escapes, rally more systems to his cause he will.” Master Yoda accidentally clacked his staff on Glitch's foot startling her. “Apologies young one.”

“Not at all Sir.” Glitch couldn't help to like this little fellow, he was calm and confident in command. Wise and not arrogant, reminded her of someone very dear. “You have a mighty heart little Master, Gods be at your side.”

“My ally is the Force, but all assistance will we accept.”

“Where will Dooku go?” Glancing to your own master, “How do we hunt him to ground?”

“I have a feeling that our adversary will make his presence known in time.” Mace gazed upon the battle in progress around them, control of the ground needed to be reestablished if there was to be any hope of victory. “Pilot land at that forward assembly area. Y/n, stay with Master Yoda and track down Dooku.”

Ships were being blasted out of the sky around you and though you could feel Obi Wan and Anakin you weren't sure where they had gone. Looking at your Master, you gave a quick nod. “Yes Sir.”

“Holy Shit! The boss lady listens to somebody?” Glitch winked at Master Yoda, who gave a restrained laugh of his own.

“Pot and Kettle,” Rolling your eyes the LA-AT as it took off for the forward observation post. Upon arrival there was a static transmission from one of the other ships, Dooku had been spotted and they were in pursuit. Commandeering a speeder, you prayed the Force you were fast enough. “Glitch, stay with Master Yoda.”

“No, I'm going with you! We just saved your ass no way are you...”

“Damn it Glitch,” Glaring at the girl you clutched her shoulders in frustration, “I cannot lose any more of them or you.”

Glitch had tears in her eyes silently begging you to take her too.

“Protect them for me, please.” Pleading with the young woman, you needed her safe.

“Y/n, don't.” Glitch so rarely called you by name, always Boss. Some part of her wanted to keep you all at a distance, didn't want that pain again if she lost another friend. But that would be a disrespect to all you had done and how close you'd grown. “I can help, please!”

“You are Tyra,” tucking a stray hair behind her ear, you climbed on the speeder bike. “Listen to Master Yoda as you would me. It'll be alright.”

Yoda watched as you departed, coming to take Glitches hand, “Come my young friend, your wisdom and strength do I require.”

“I doubt there's anything that I have to offer you sir.” Glitch laughed bitterly.

Yoda hummed, “A different foe have I for you, one of greater importance. Come.”

“I don't care, land the ship!” Anakin's mind screamed at the sight of Padme laying motionless on the sand.

“Anakin I need you, come to your senses!” Obi Wan pleaded with the boy. Stars knew he understood better than anyone, seeing the woman he loved injured and thought killed. He knew the gut churning pain, but he also knew his duty. That as badly as it hurt there was a job to do. “What would Padme do were she in your place? What would Y/n do if it were us?”

Anakin searched the Force for his angel, she was alive. Maker he wanted nothing more than to go to her but as Obi Wan's questions sank in he also knew that answer. As hard as the truth was, as harsh as the situation was he would not make the same mistake twice in a day. Scrunching his face in frustration and anguish he looked to Master Obi Wan.

“They would do their duty,” Taking a deep breath Anakin tried to focus, “I'm sorry Master...”

“It's alright, calm yourself.” Obi Wan reached over to squeeze the boy's shoulder. “When this is over I owe you a long talk and a strong cup of tea.”

The craft dropped them on the landing platform, exploding almost immediately as it pulled away. Anakin's eyes went wide as yet three more lives flickered and faded into the greater Force. Why must death be so cruel, why? But there was no time to contemplate such things as he and Master Obi Wan ran into the cavern.

Malevolence enveloped them almost immediately, the air growing thicker the closer they drew. Dooku stood at the controller with his back turned, uncaring that he was trapped with the two Jedi. Anger and grief rolled through Anakin once more, his tone graveled and angry, “You're going to pay for all the Jedi you killed to day.”

Dooku turned slowly to regard the welp, scrawny and overconfident. All the arrogance to befit the grand Padawan of Windu and Dalincort. He gave the two a sickening smile, “And I presume that you have claimed the honor of bringing me to justice... youngling.”

“We'll take him together,” Obi Wan could see that Dooku was attempting to draw Anakin into the fight alone, “You go around...”

Anakin saw the sneer on the old man's face, remembered how he watched as the Jedi were slaughtered in the arena. Then the bastard started to laugh, LAUGH!

Anakin was done being patient. “I'll take him NOW!”

You could hear fighting the minute the speeder landed on the pad. The very air hung heavy; darkness, pain, anger... Hate. Running as though the hounds of perdition were upon you, stomach dropping to your boots. Obi Wan was sprawled on the floor in pain, Dooku had wounded him. Anakin was battling the old saber master, but it was obvious that the Count was toying with the young man. Blocking and parrying several over powered strikes Dooku made his move, turning and efficiently amputated Anakin's arm.

“NO!!!” you screamed.

Dooku grinned, extending his hand to fling the foolish boy across the room. The boy landed at Kenobi's feet with a pained whimper. He would have relished in the sight of his victory more if it weren't for several rocks that came flying at him. Deflecting them away with a brush of his hand, Dooku finally acknowledged your presence. “I see that Windu send his little pet after me.”

“Get. Away. From. My. FAMILY!” Biting out the words you couldn't care to cover the fury in your voice. Extending your arm you pulled the injured men closer to the entrance. The air practically crackled around you, pebbles floated and clattered from your rage.

He had injured Obi Wan....

he had cut off Anakin's arm...

he had killed so many good Jedi today...

“Young y/n, perhaps it's time for another lesson?” Dooku taunted you, tutting under his breath with a sly grin. “Then again you always were a poor student.”

There was a moment where Anakin looked up and he didn't recognize the woman striding across the room. Logically he could see that it was you, but it was as though your body had been possessed by a foreign spirit. A cold dead look of fury... it was terrifying. “Master?”

“Y/n,” Obi Wan tried to reach out to you but your walls were firmly in place. A shot of dread ran through him, bile rising. He had not been present when you had killed the Neimoidian, but he well remembered the fight against the cartel on Talenza. That same detached look, clinical almost if not for the anger in your eyes. Merciful light protect you, “Wee one...”

“I will not let you kill another Jedi today Dooku.” Without turning, moving only to raise your hand catching the saber hilt as it rocketed into your grip from the floor, you glared down the former Master. These feelings within were beyond anger or disgust or sorrow. When you looked at the man you felt nothing, seeing only the shadow of evil that was trying to destroy all around you. A cancer that needed to be excised. Raising your blade you coolly addressed the debauched soul, “Surrender old man.”

“We both know that I won't come willingly.” Dooku threw your own words at you. He couldn't help to admire the tenacity, foolish as it was, “You're outmatched girl.”

Your feet shifted to a starting position, “I have all that I require.”

“So very naïve,” Dooku gazed haughtily at you. “It appears then that this lesson is over due.”

You didn't reply, twirling the blade raising it to ready. There was no urgency in your step, nor stiffness to your body. Slowly entering the enemy's domain, closing space and circling. The air crackled around the room as Dooku extended his blade, red as the blood that stained his hands.

He feigned, beating the edge of his blade against yours trying to provoke you to action.

Tilting your head you slid the edge of the beam along causing sparks, giving a beat in return.

Force for force, blade on blade.

Dooku made the first move sweeping up then countering low. You didn't try for anything fancy simply deflecting and redirecting the move. Again, he thrust the edge of his saber, only for you to twist and block the move. He kept baiting and prodding, yet you would not do more than defend and take more ground. “Come now girl, certainly you can do better. Surely you wish to destroy me for what I've done. You'd like that wouldn't you?”

Another hard blow coming down from above as you felt him probing your mental barriers. Your walls were beginning to fray, and you could feel the cold clutches trying to wreak havoc on your mind. Blocking his saber again you gave a great push with the Force to throw the man across the floor.

“Would you not like to see me humbled before the Council for the harm done to your Padawan?” Dooku landed on his feet, less than gracefully but still in form. He watched to see if his words would add to the storm. He continued to project the most awful of things to your mind trying to break your will. Mental images of your Master dying, of Kenobi dying, of your apprentice crying for help as he too died. All of that which you feared most. A little further he thought, only a little more and the girl will crumble. Dooku shot lightning at you, laughing as he reveled in your cries of pain. “Or have you finally found that you are not what you believe yourself to be?”

“Aaaaahhhh!!!” You screamed in pain and frustration and the barrage continued.

Smirking he set the bolts loose again. Oh yes this did brighten his day to see you suffer. “You are no Knight, you are nothing but a weak little foundling! A cur allowed among the ranks of better beings because of one Council head's attachment.”

“Don't listen to him Y/n!” Obi Wan screamed from across the room, the lightning was so bright that he could barely discern your outline.

“Obi Boy...”

He took in a sharp breath feeling your signature wrap tightly to his. “Wee One?”

“Hey Slemo!”

Dooku paused the electric charge hearing your words. There you stood looking at him defiantly through the pain. How was this possible? Then he realized you hadn't fully taken the shock, channeling it to the ground through your body. Anger rose within him, not the least of which was directed at his own hubris. “So you HAVE learned something...”

“And you have forgotten,” Raising your saber again at the old man, charging forward with a swift low swing at his knees. One two three times blocked to come up for a high cross body strike. You glared over the light of the blades, “You've forgotten who you were! Whom you were supposed to defend! You were a Jedi, you were Qui Gon's Master.”

“You are not worthy to utter his name!” The old man matched your venom at the mere mention of his former apprentice.

So the old man still grieved. Good you thought, two could play at this! “Would he recognize you now? To see what you have become?”

Dooku charged and swung harder this time aiming for your shoulder and neck to silence you. “Qui Gon should still be alive, but instead you two unworthy children...”

“Qui Gon died defending the galaxy from the evil that you embraced!” You parried and kept backing him towards the edge of the cavern space. The old Sith continued to bash at your mental shields continuing his two front assault. You could feel him clawing in, feel yourself weakening with each minute and blow. The dark thoughts that you kept at bey so long rising at his bidding. You would not yield this battle though, giving a scream. “If Qui Gon had lived he would stand against you now! Since he cannot then we will!”

“You and Kenobi are nothing! That boy is nothing!” Dooku had to pivot quickly to avoid the quick footwork and precision of your thrusts and swings. Damn you using his momentary lapse to begin taking ground. Dooku wasn't out of the fight yet, using the Force to hurtle crates at rapid speed while blocking and advancing back at you. “The power of the dark side shall rise to bring order to the Galaxy.”

“Not so long as there is one Jedi left to defend her still!”

Slicing through the crates you continued to fight your way to the corner. Just a bit closer to the power conduit on the wall. Keeping your eyes on the Sith as you got within range. Tipping over a chemical container near the wall, then yanking out the high voltage cables.

“Anakin look away!” Obi Wan tried to cover his eyes as the pool of chemicals sparked off.

There was a flash and a wave of heat as the fumes ignited around the Count, driving you back. Please let this work, sweet merciful Force...

But then the world crumbled around you, nothing but swirling darkness.

You felt as though transported, floating through the coldest void of space until suddenly your body dropped to the ground.

No... this couldn't be?

You were back on Talenza... back to that day. Swirling ash and fire surrounding you, the stench of burnt flesh and death. The bodies of all the Jedi you had ever know strewn about your feet, blood raining from the sky.

Sightless eyes staring at you, mouths moving in tandem....

Why didn't you save us? Why didn't you save us?

Closest to you was Obi Wan and Anakin, again the same words.

Why didn't you save us?

“NOOOOOOO!!!!!” This wasn't real, this couldn't be real, DEAR SWEET MAKER STOP THIS PLEASE!

Pain erupted in your back and head momentarily breaking the hold Dooku had on your mind. The briefest of pauses from the horror. Thrown into the cavern wall to fall to the floor, flung into the rocky surface again and again like a ragdoll.

“Foolish child,” the Sith tutted as he strode closer, untouched by the flame. Raising his hand to continue the scourge. “Did you really think that would work? That you could defeat me so easily...”

The images kept flashing over and over in your mind, until all at once they stopped. As though the light had reached through and pulled you from the depths of the dark. Warmth slowly creeping back into you along with the pain. A familiar voice rang in the cavern as surely as a meditation bell in the Temple, steady and calm.

“Release her.” The paced clacking of a walking staff came to a pause, voice raising again. “Release my Knight!”

Dooku sneered, “Master Yoda...”

Your body crumpled to the floor, blood pounding in your head. The wise old Master looked to you, raising a hand that would stay you from acting further. Not that there was much convincing needed. You reached your signature out to Anakin and Obi Wan, injured but alive. “Obi Boy...”

“I'm here Wee One.”

“I'm sorry... I'm so sorry...” You succumbed to the pain, vision blanking into unconsciousness.

Yoda looked upon the man before him, twisted in mind and spirit.

No longer the boy he had taught...

No longer the Knight and defender...

“Count Dooku.”

“You have interfered with our affairs for the last time,” The Sith pried and flung multiple conduits from the wall to crush his foe. When that did not prove enough he brought the ceiling of the cave upon the small Jedi's head.

With an nonplussed waive of his hand Yoda deflected the debris. “Our affairs is it? Then truly fallen you have.”

“The dark side has shown me the truth of the galaxy. And my Master has taught me so much more than you ever could.” Dooku glowered at the small being that he had once held in such esteem. One who had held him back and treated him like a child, well no more. He would end his former Master once and for all, “I have become more powerful than any mere Jedi... Even you!”

Lightning arced through the air at the small Jedi but to no effect. Dooku tried again, but with each attempt Yoda deflected or absorbed the volts, appearing unimpressed by the attempt. Similar to when an initiate threw a tantrum in the creche, the old Master kept his countenance calm. Dooku knew better though, that the still waters ran deeper than the ocean worlds.

“Powerful you have become Dooku,” Yoda straightened his posture to more squarely look the man down. "but not wiser."

“How is this possible?” Dooku glared at the small being. Sidious had trained him well, Dooku should be able to defeat the old man easily. He was more powerful, smarter! Anger and fear flashed within him as Dooku continued to reassess his strategy.

“Your ambitions and plans, like leaves in the wind they are,” Yoda's ears turned up as he glared down at his opponent, “Much to learn you still have. Clouded is your mind, to your senses return.”

“It is obvious that this contest will not be decided by our knowledge of the Force, but by our skills with a saber.” He raised his blade, cool anger flashing in his eyes, “Unless you feel unequal to the challenge.”

Parting his robes Yoda drew his saber, “Do you?”

Across the floor Obi Wan was unable do much while injured, Anakin was semi conscious on his leg. They needed to get out of the cavern, there was no hope of lending assistance to Master Yoda in their condition. Concentrating on you signature Obi Wan tried to wake you, “Wee one?”

You face twitched in pain, but still not rousing to consciousness.

“Wee One I need you,” He focused harder, “Please wake up love, please.”

“Obi...” One eye blinked painfully open as you took in a deeper breath. You could hear the clash of sabers beating, glancing over you witnessed something not seen in a very long time. Master Yoda had drawn his lightsaber and was fighting the Count. The normally peaceful and patient Grand Master was beating the fallen Jedi, giving no quarter. Glancing at where Anakin and Obi Boy were you also saw the bleak look in his eyes. “Are you alright?”

“We need to get the boy out of here, can you help pull us over.” Reaching out with the Force Obi Wan moved to where you lay. You were shaking and unfocused, you were scared. Raising a hand to your battered face, Obi Wan's voice shook, "I'm sorry love, I'm sorry for all of it."

"Me too," Leaning into the touch you wrapped your signature to his, at least you were together.

The tears in your eyes begged to set loose, but you refused. For all their sakes you had to hold back, as much as you wanted otherwise. Fortunately the saber had cauterized the wound, but you doubted there was any way of reattaching the arm successfully. The boy was in shock and you did your best to try to ease his pain. What little strength you had would not allow you to do much. Placing your hand to his head you tried to give him peace, projecting that day at the beach on Dantooine, a good memory instead of the fear of now. “It'll be alright Ani-man, just hold on... just hold on.”

Yoda clashed his saber with Dooku's again and again, each blow and move made to disarm his foe. Dooku was strong, but his emotions clouded his judgment. It had been one of the many reasons that he had been denied a seat on the Council. His arrogance and air of superiority over his fellow knights had also been a thorn in many of the Jedi's side. Warning signs seen too late or ignored due to rank? Blocking yet another crippling blow Yoda struggled to hold his guard, “fought well you have my old Padawan.”

“Kind of you to notice, but I think that this contest is soon to end.” Forcing the smaller Jedi away the Count raised his hand to rip the largest of the ducts on the wall away. With all of his might Dooku tried to bring it down on the injured Jedi.

“Y/n!” Obi Wan grabbed your head trying to shield both you and Anakin with his body.

Bounding back from Dooku, Yoda raised his arms in concentration. Even as the Sith laughed and ran to his ship Yoda held the large metal beam fast and with great effort flung it away. Turning just as the portal to the ship closed the old Master glowered. “Finished, this is not!”

“No,” Dooku's voice boomed, “it is just the beginning!”

Translations:

Udesii, Pare- Easy, Wait

Taglist: @meshlasolus @the-rain-on-kamino @a-rose-of-amber @aquaamethyst96 @stanny-uwu @just-dreaming-marvel @nurseytypechick @in-a-mellow-tone @acatalystrising @pickleprickle @iambored24601 @songoficecreamandfireworks @misscamptl @purplepandora666 @obiknights @moostresskenobi @the-going-merry @ginger-swag-rapunzel @iabrokengirl @lovelyxlily @annasun13 @foxperifoto @supernaturallover2002

#Holy crud this took a while!#Oh but it's here #the next one's really gonna hurt...#go read fluff after this #you'll need it #star wars #obi wan kenobi #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan x reader #obi wan fanfiction #obi wan x y/n #ol&d #obi wan x you #jango fett #count dooku #master yoda #mace windu #plo koon #attack of the clones

14 notes · View notes

wanderinginksplot · 10 months

Text

Clone Trooper Rambles

Think imaginary friends, but they're clone troopers.

Warnings: references to medication, mentions of COVID-19.

---

Sore

“Do you normally take so many pain meds in a day?” Jesse asked.

The question drew immediate attention and I made a face at Jesse. He at least had the grace to look apologetic, but the heavy silence warned that I would need to answer. "No, I try not to. I'm just really sore and I want to move without groaning."

"You haven't done anything to be sore," Trapper reminded me.

"I know, but I am," I said with a shrug. "I'm thinking it's because I helped unload that stock order. It wasn't much and the stuff wasn't very heavy, but it was different enough that it might have caused it."

"Makes sense," Jesse pitched in, encouragement in his tone. "Want me to get Kix?"

"No thanks. I'm going to take some pain medicine and see if it works for me."

The medicine worked, but only for a little while. Before long, I was just as sore as I had been and it was starting to get worrisome.

"So what's your next step?" Rex asked, easing down onto the couch beside me. I sent him a sidelong look and he gestured at the way I was rubbing my temples. "Obviously, the meds didn't work."

“Sleep, I think,” I mused slowly. My brain hurt, and it felt as if even my thoughts were dragging. “I’m really tired. I have been all day.”

I was exhausted, but not exhausted enough to miss the way the troopers looked at each other. For once, I decided not to push them about it. If nothing else, that told me how tired I really was.

Despite how exhausted I felt, sleep was slow to come and fitful once it arrived. It felt like I had only just dropped off when I surfaced again, needing to cough or scratch my face or turn over.

When I woke up with a desert in my mouth, I blearily made my way through the living room and into the kitchen to gulp some water. When I turned, Kix was there. He looked sympathetic, which was never a good sign. “How are you feeling?”

“Bad,” I told him, coughing a little as if my body had decided to prove the point. “Why are you awake?”

He shrugged. “My sleep schedule is a little weird. Medic shifts, you know?”

“Not personally,” I hedged. “But I can imagine.”

Kix nodded slowly, then inclined his head toward the countertop beside him. “This is for you.”

As soon as he pointed it out, I could see a pale box sitting there. When I went to look at it, I found a COVID test with a sticky note attached to it with my name written in neat script. I glanced at Kix, frowning. “How did you manage to find a COVID test?”

His eyebrows shot upward. “It’s not from me. Cole left it. I think he heard you coughing and got worried.”

“Ah.” That made a lot more sense, actually. I picked it up from the counter, waggling it at Kix. "Thanks for pointing it out, then. I'll take it in the morning."

---

Previous | Next | Masterlist

Author's Note - Looking back on the time I had COVID again, but didn't recognize it. This was a while ago, but there's a new strain that is proving to be highly contagious and the symptoms aren't fun. Take care of yourselves, friends!

Feeling the odd urge to apologize for a few non-exciting Rambles back-to-back, but this is how it goes. It was a boring few weeks. The next few are more interesting, but please remember that these are basically journaling exercises. Sometimes, life just gets a little dull for a while. Thanks for reading anyway!

You can sign up for my taglist here!

Taglist: : @rexs-wife @sugarpuffsstuff @just-some-girl-92 @kimageddon @ladysongmaster @carodealmeida @nomercyforthewarrior @bitchylittleredhead @lackofhonor @buddee @salaminus @hikime @808tsuika @ladykatakuri @bikerlorian @torchbearerkyle @frietiemeloen @justanothersadperson93 @leotatombs @rain-on-kamino @itsagrimm @dancingwiththeplanets @theclonesdeservebetter @murder-of-crows-1 @rosmariner @staycalmandhugaclone @marennial @eyecandyeoz @fordo-kixed-rex @lucyysthings @quietplaceinthestars @dinsverdika @xxxcertifiednerdxxx @coruscanticoffee @archangelsunited @kashasenpai @beverlybeav @wolffegirlsunite @pb-jellybeans @jennamelinda12 @thrawnspetgoose

#clone trooper rambles #rambles #wanderinginksplot's fics #ink's fics #ink's life #star wars fanfiction #not crazy just creative

17 notes · View notes

deepdeanvsweston · 15 days

Note

Do you have any thoughts on the Martita/Theresa/Frances found family dynamic?

I used the word 'also' and 'which' way too much in this answer please excuse that

Reread that scene where Theresa becomes ill and Bridget takes her home as it's really prominent on my mind regarding this ask! (Page 92-95 in DITS if anyone is curious!)

My first thought is that I'm a fool who can't pick up on cues and did not realise they were lesbians upon my first read 😭 (listen I was like. 12 and knew lesbians existed but existing in fiction was apparently a reach to me).

My second thought is that I'm really curious as to their actual dynamic - does Martita see them as mother figures? Do they see themselves as mother figures? Martita says "Frances has been better to me than my own mother" so of course she's going to look towards anyone who could be a mother figure but it does beg the question how good was Martita's mother? What's the standard here? If better than her own mother simply means food on the table and a roof over her head, then of course Frances seems better! I believe Frances takes advantage of Martita:

There's this one bit about Miss Crompton saying to Martita "(...) because noone wants to see an actress called plain old Marta Pao. That's show business (...)" and it sounds to me that Frances views Martita as more as a project than anything, and as something good for the theatre. This really comes through in her resentment at Rose for the special treatment she's receiving, and also emphasises that Frances views Martita as a project as she seems more than happy to move onto the next one (Rose) and then back again.

Although on the other hand, Martita's resentment of Rose could be because she's scared of being replaced (on top of the jealousy) because Frances and Theresa have been so good to her and taken her in like family. This is a very small line in the book and possibly a stretch, but Hazel mentions that Martita's room at the flat is very untidy, which could be a sign that Martita feels comfortable around Theresa and Frances.

I don't know how much I see them as found family, especially as on page 90, Martita says "Even the families you make yourself - they betray you. Sometimes you have to protect yourself." Martita did obviously trust them at some point, and truly like them, though I'm unsure if she's formed a close attachment to them simply because Theresa and Frances took her in as Frances saw her as a project and wanted to 'work' on her, and Martita saw this as a form of love rather than a beneficiary move for the theatre. I think it's interesting to note that Martita says "families you make yourself" - in her mind, she views this dynamic as something she has created, where in actual fact I think it was a purely selfish move on 2 theatre workers parts. Additionally, Frances seems perfectly happy to let Rose insult Martita and someone Martita was very close to, Simon - Frances seems to truly not care about Martita, or Simon's, feelings and only focuses on her darling star of the show. That of course does not reflect well on Miss Crompton and no wonder Martita wanted to gtfo of there?

Also interesting to consider how Rose would have reacted if she knew that Theresa and Frances were together? I'd take a bet that she'd be at the absolute best, uncomfortable and the worst, disgusted (which I suppose is a reflection on Rose and how fickle she can be). Martita must have known about them, and been loyal, but Rose would NOT have been. Surely Frances and Theresa would have known this, but continued to revere Rose instead of Martita, proving their loyalties lie in the theatre and not with Martita.

Theresa is also guilty in all of this as she is a Bystander, and in fact sometimes seems to let Frances take charge and blindside Rose.

TLDR: I don't think they're found family and Martita is viewed as a project they took on for the theatre's benefit, rather than the goodness of their hearts.

Thankyou for the ask!!!

#murder most unladylike #mmu #death in the spotlight #dits #martita torrera #theresa johnson #frances crompton

6 notes · View notes

ladytauria · 7 months

Note

i think i reblogged it from you but never sent you questions, so for the book rec asks: 1, 13, 23, 44, 50, 54, 79, 92, 116, 130, 131 please!! thats A Lot, so feel free to pick and choose haha

ahhh thank u bean! i love talking books uwu

coming back up after answering to edit... um. bean, i'm so sorry for my answer on the last one xD i should have picked a different book. (i ranted. a little.)

1. a book that is close to your heart

there are a few books i could name, but i'm going to do the one i thought of first.

a girl of the limberlost. i only remember reading it once, but my mother is the one who gave it to me, and told me that it was a book she loved at my age at the time. (same with the secret garden.) so i can't think of that book without thinking of her, which makes it a little bit more special to me <3

13. your favorite romance novel

immediate impulse is to say legends and lattes by travis baldree bc. it's so good. however, while there is a romance i don't know if i would count it as a romance novel.

so.

the lady's guide to celestial mechanics. historical, sapphic, featuring both women in STEM (or, yknow, historical equiv) but also an appreciation for domestic arts / crafts normally looked down on. also there's an acknowledgement that homophobia existed, but there's none on page.

the prose is also gorgeous.

i don't actually read a ton of romance novels, but i've been trying to pick up more!

23. a book that is currently on your TBR

mmm, too many

but Our Wives Under the Sea - Julia Armfield went on sale on kindle the other day so! it's mine now <3 and one i've been eying for a while. the kindle cover isn't the one i wanted, but that's okay.

44. your favourite fantasy novel

a very large chunk of what i read is fantasy. this is HARD 😂

uhhh.

the locked tomb is technically sci-fi, isn't it?

fuck.

i'm gonna go with The Last Unicorn - Peter S. Beagle bc it is the only book i purposefully own more than one copy of! would love to get my hands on the graphic novel <3

honorary mention to the Inheritence Cycle bc reading Eragon was what got me to start writing my first novel.

which absolutely wasn't just. Eragon but with griffin riders instead.

(okay, legitimately, there were differences, but there was also definitely heavy inspiration.)

50. a book that made you cry a LOT

i don't actually cry at much? the last time i remember actually crying was when i was reading an abridged version of little women and beth died xD

i'm trying to think of another book which really grabbed me emotionally recently that also isn't. already on this list. and i'm coming up empty?

54. a book with the best opening line

i don't have a good memory for opening lines ^^; however for some reason i want to say The Lightning Thief, so. that's what i'm going with.

79. a book that reminds you of your favorite song

my favorite song changes by the moment, so i don't have answer for this one ^^;

92. a book about a redeemable villain

kay, so i almost answered this question with the book i gave for the next question, but i realized i don't? read a lot of multi pov books?? or at least not that i remember being such. i did remember one but it was the second in a duology, so.

so.

anyway!

the closest i can think of atm would be Empress of Forever by Max Gladstone. (highly rec this one, though i was a little disappointed when the pairing i wanted didn't happen xD)

116. a book with multiple povs

The Stars Are Legion by Kameron Hurley.

this book.

woof.

okay, so. if you are. remotely squeamish, like. at all? you might wanna give this one a pass. (def check storygraph / other places for trigger warnings. im also happy to elaborate myself, lol.) i am. very squeamish, and made it through only because the story grabbed me tight and wouldn't let go. the worldbuilding is extremely interesting. the characters are all very different and both likeable and unlikeable in a million different ways. but.

oh boy, it was a tough one.

if you're NOT squeamish, though--

it was a 4 or 5 star read for me, iirc, so, y'know. recommended. not sure i'll ever pick it up again, but like. do not regret reading.

130. a book featuring flashbacks and/or intersecting storylines

i know i've read others like this, but the book that comes to mind is--and i had to google this bc it's been so long since i read it---Thirst by Christopher Pike. It was also published under "The Last Vampire." i don't actually recommend them; i read them during my middle school vampire phase and even i remembered being a little mindboggled. mainly bc i think there was an alien abduction in... the second or third book? idk, i had an omnibus.

131. recommend any book you like!

there's only one answer i can give to this, tbh. the locked tomb series brainrot is real and deep and i am. both highly anticipating and dreading the release of alecto so.

i gotta recommend Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir.

that SAID, i am well aware that this book has a reputation on tumblr esp for being poorly summarized, as the most oft-used pitch is "lesbian necromancers in space."

this is not an inaccurate summary.

BUT.

it is also not complete.

so first, some expectations: it's sci-fi, definitely, but also there are a lot of fantasy vibes? probably because of the swords and the necromancy and the sworn knights-esque plot. uh. basically, it's sci-fi like star wars is sci-fi, but also it's. it's not star wars.

second thing: this series is unreliable narrator central. tamsyn picks the least qualified person in the group for you to follow the story with, and it works. so well. like, firstly bc ofc things get explained (some; it does drop you in and expect you to pick up a lot through context clues) but ALSO because you WILL pick up things you didn't on re-reads. i did a reread before Nona and spent half of it screaming. i'm not much of an annotator beyond highlighting some lines on kindle but i was commenting all over the place.

uh.

i still haven't talked about the plot, my bad.

Gideon the Ninth follows the titular Gideon, after her childhood nemesis and heir to the Ninth House, is invited to the First House by the God Emperor of the Nine Houses to seek quasi-immortality and join him in fighting a war as old as the Houses themselves. When they get there, though, they soon find their fellow heir-and-cavalier pairs being picked off one by one.

this book also features a lot of gay... not pining, not really, but like. Gideon likes women and her pov spends a lot of time appreciating the other women with them xD (this is also part of what makes her unreliable as a narrator. plot? what plot? gideon is here for thirsting, and a little bit of pining.)

also mild enemies to lovers vibes.

ALSO there are memes. there's a none pizza left beef joke in book 2, i'm still not over it.

does get a little squicky at times with loving descriptions of bones and viscera, though.

if i keep talking about this book i won't ever stop <3

[ book recs ask game ]

#bean... yet again you have my sincerest apologies xD #thank you for asking!!#asks and answers #ask gaming #livvyreads #this-was-a-terrible-idea

4 notes · View notes

naminethewriter · 8 months

Text

I was tagged by @prince-rowan-of-the-forest! Thank you very much! 🥰 You can find their post here!

1: How many works do you have on Ao3?

92 as of yesterday 😎

2: What's your total Ao3 word count?

223,014 words

3: What fandoms do you write for?

Right now just Sanders Sides, though I have unfinished stories for both Kingdom Hearts and South Park and I am thinking of participating in a Professor Layton Big Bang.

4: What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Clyde can't handle that his best friend keeps secrets from him (South Park) - 496 kudos

After months of silence (South Park) - 254 kudos

Lookout (South Park) - 242 kudos

Always (Sanders Sides) - 184 kudos

Logan Tries Something New (Sanders Sides) - 179 kudos

I'm actually surprised that there are two Tss fics here, I was sure that they hadn't caught up to my South Park stories 😅 Apparently they have a lot more hits but aren't that far ahead in terms of kudos 🤔

5: Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I actually feel kind of weird when I don't do it... And I always like getting answers to my own comments 🥰

6: What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oof, that's a hard question... I mean, it depends from which perspective, right? One of my South Park fics, I'll Give Up Everything For You, ended with Hell invading earth but the main characters are the instigators and happy together, while they doomed their town.

Then I have a few Hurt No Comfort stories like Who's the Liar Now? or Rare Lies Hurt The Most, though they're both quite short.

I guess the one with the most ambiguous and hurtful endings are appropriately closely named: Cursed (Dukeceit Werewolf story) and Cursed Woods (Roceit with forceful separation at the end).

7: What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, that's hard because that's most of them 😅 But without thinking about it too much, You're Not Alone an Intruloceit story with lots of hugs and comfort and a christmas party at the end 💙💛💚

8: Do you get hate on fics?

One time I got a comment telling me to kill myself under a South Park fic but apparently they went around commenting on a bunch of fics with that particular ship, so it wasn't really targeted at me. That was the only thing that I've got over the years.

9: Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I don't, but maybe someday 🤷‍♀️

10: Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I don't and I don't really like reading them either with very few exceptions.

11: Have you ever had a fic stolen?

If so, I'm not aware of it.

Question 12 has been lost to the ether...

13: Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't, but I'd like to try someday ^^

14: What's your all-time favorite ship?

Considering that I just wrapped up the 4th ship week in a row for these dorks, Intrulogical all the way 💙💚

15: What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

How to manipulate a rebellion, a South Park story that I still very much like but I'm not active in the fandom anymore and have so many other stories I want to work on, so I doubt I'll ever get back to it... 😞

16: What are your writing strengths?

Heartfelt moments and dialogue, I think. Sincerity and simplicity as well, maybe.

17: What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm not good with poetic writing styles. I also often struggle with descriptions since I'm not much of a visual thinker.

18: Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think it can be a fun addition, depending on how much you include. Since I myself am not a native English speaker, I am often tempted to bring in some German. But it needs to be inserted in a way that even non-speakers of the language can understand.

19: First fandom you wrote for?

Kingdom Hearts! They were my first online obsession 🤭 If I had discovered fandoms earlier, I might have written for Wizards of Waverly Place.

20: Favorite fic you've written?

How could I ever choose? I actually really like most of my fics still and do reread them sometimes but I guess in terms of begin proud of how much work I put into it, Hurt No One Knew About might be my favorite of them so far.

Thanks again for the tag! This was fun but a lot of work 🤭

No pressure tags: @lost-in-thought-20, @lily-janus, @candied-peach, @mimssides, @starshard17

#tag game #about me #wips

2 notes · View notes

darling-i-read-it · 2 years

Text

I posted 1,156 times in 2022

1,058 posts created (92%)

98 posts reblogged (8%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@darling-i-read-it

@russian-soft-bitch

@bluecray0nn

@mystic-writings

@yeponing

I tagged 805 of my posts in 2022

Only 30% of my posts had no tags

#darling i answered it - 171 posts

#mayas personals - 168 posts

#tagged - 20 posts

#matt murdock x reader - 20 posts

#russian soft bitch - 18 posts

#bruce wayne x reader - 18 posts

#stranger things imagines - 17 posts

#matt murdock imagines - 15 posts

#marvel imagines - 14 posts

#stranger things spoilers - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#i’ve been wanting to do the slasher blog for a long time i just decided to group in fnaf and creepypasta so i could have kinda a dark bit

My Top Posts in 2022:

The Rowboat

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: SPOILERES FOR STRANGER THINGS SEASON 4, major plot spoilers!, violence, some gore

Author’s Note: yall loved my shitty first fic for eddie so here is one i actually liked lol! Steve and Billy content coming soon!

Summary: You go to the boathouse to get eddie after hearing people are after him

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

“Wait Lucas slow down slow down. You’re saying the basketball jocks think that Eddie killed Chrissy? My Eddie? Eddie Munson?”

“Repeating his name back to me does not make it any less true! They’re trying to find him right now! I’ve gotta find Dustin, they think he knows where Eddie is.”

You were standing in the doorway of your house, staring down at Lucas Sinclair. He had just told you that his ‘friends’ were dead set on doing something to Eddie for what happened with Chrissy. You had been waiting at your house in case he decided to come around for some shelter or something but no such luck. You hadn’t really been let into the loop.

“I don’t know where he is though. Eddie or Dustin,” you explained.

“Well then we have to find them. I can radio Dustin and he can send you directly to Eddie to hide him somewhere safe.” You nodded quickly. You grabbed a coat and shut the door, not bothering to tell your parents where you were going because you really had no idea. Your keys were already in your pocket and you unlocked the door.

“Radio him then. We probably have to be fast. Those jocks have one mind between the four of them.”

You dropped Lucas off at the school and sped towards Reefer Ricks. You had only been there one time but you remembered the way. Eddie didn’t like to take you around there, he said it was bad news. You tried to tell him that he seemed to be there all the time but he was having none of it. You were not to get mixed in with anything dangerous, no matter how close to him it was.

If only he knew why you were going there now.

You made a sharp turn into the gravel road and quickly came to a stop. You looked into the house, noting that all the lights were off. You pursed your lips. If you were Eddie, where would you be hiding?

You locked your car and walked slowly up the steps only to catch the lights on in the garage/boat house. Your eyebrows flattened. Dumbass.

You half jogged half walked over and knocked on the door, just to let him know someone was there in case he wasn’t hiding already. You opened the door slowly, peeking around the mess.

“Eddie? It’s me!” you called into the seemingly empty room. You shut the door behind you and surveyed the mess on the table of food and the one light on in the middle of the room. Underneath the boat tarp rose your boyfriend, scaring the hell out of you.

“What are you doing here?!” You held your chest, shaking your head.

“Helping you! Why didn’t you call?!” He climbed out, stumbling and then almost falling onto the ground. You grabbed his arm to keep him steady.

“Because I didn’t want you mixed up in this,” he muttered, shaking his head. “I don’t even know what this is!”

“Dustin told me,” you said softly. He looked more scared then you had ever seen him before. Eddie was usually easy going in the worst of situations. You had no doubt that whatever he had actually seen had been traumatic and awful. “Lucas also says the fucking basketball jocks are coming to get you. We have to move you somewhere safe.” “This is safe,” he argued. “No one found me yet.”

“Except Dustin and Steve and Robin and me and-”

“Okay I get it I get it. You have any ideas sweets?” He let out a tired exasperated sigh.

“Anything is better than your poor excuse of a hiding spot under that tarp. Maybe we should just drive and keep fucking driving,” you suggested. He scoffed, scratching the back of his head.

“Not a bad idea.” You could hear gravel upturning outside. You both turned around and reached for each other. You had grabbed his left elbow and he was clutching your side for dear life. “Shit. Shit shit shit. You have to go. Run. I don’t care, go, get, scat.” He was shoving you out the door like they wouldn’t see you leaving.

“Eddie I’m not just gonna leave you.”

See the full post

1,632 notes - Posted May 29, 2022

Brothers Best Friend

Billy Hargrove x fem!reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: making out

Author’s Note: i’ll never get tired of writing for this asshole

Requested: by anon, i just rewatched stranger things and i’m back on my billy hargrove bs lol so i’d like to request billy x reader where reader is dustin’s sister and billy and her are in a somewhat secret relationship and since dustin doesn’t know he’s trying to set steve up with her and then they all find out she’s with billy somehow (walking in on them or something idk) something like that. i know it’s kinda vague sorry about that (also i feel like dustin's reaction to finding them out would be really funny lol ) thanks 😉

Song: feels like heaven by ariel pink

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

You looked across the pool at where Billy was perched on the lifeguard seat. There was a flock of moms sprawled out beside him, watching his every move. It made you giggle to yourself, knowing that when he came down from that seat he would be heading straight for you. Not in an egotistical way, just in a way that you knew was true.

“Hey!” Dustin called. I turned my head to the side, meeting the eyes of my little brother. I let out an annoyed sigh, taking off my sunglasses.

“What are you doing here Dustin?”

“It’s the public pool,” he said dumbly. “Mom said that you need to come home soon.”

“You came all the way to tell me that?”

“Well we were coming to the pool anyway.” He gestured to his friends that were gathered at the end of the pool. You recognized them all by name, you had gotten to know them each pretty well over the years. Even Eleven who had just fought half an apocalypse with you.

You let out an annoyed sigh and got up, grabbing a towel even though you haven't been in the pool.

“Did she say why?” “I don’t know,” Dustin said as he was walking away from you. You glanced back up at the lifeguard's seat and found Billy was no longer there. He had been replaced with Heather Holloway. You looked around, trying not to look too desperate when your eyes finally landed on Billy who was walking towards you through the crowd of desperate moms. You smiled and wrapped the towel around your waist.

“You aren’t leaving are you?” he inquired, putting his whistle between his lips.

“Without seeing my favorite lifeguard? Never.”

“Is your sister sleeping with Billy?” Mike asked, pointing at the interaction.

“Please,” Dustin muttered. “To think my sister would stoop so low as to sleep with that dirtbag.”

In Dustin's eyes, Steve didn’t have a girlfriend and he had a sister who didn’t have a boyfriend. It was perfect. The sheer stupidity that you two haven’t gotten together got to his head often, especially when Steve struck out with every other girl he spoke to. You at least liked him.

“Where are we going?” you questioned. “You dragged me all the way out to the mall and won’t even let me go to Gap,” you complained. “Which is not how this relationship is supposed to work by the way. You’re my little brother.” “I want ice cream!”

“You just want to see Steve,” you teased. The two of you slowed to a stop in front of Scoops Ahoy, the ice cream shop where Steve worked. The line was nonexistent and you were able to order right away, though it was Robin behind the counter.

“Where’s Steve?” Dustin asked.

“Look, you've brought someone who isn’t a small child,” Robin mused. “I didn’t know you could do that.” She turned around and hit the wall. “Harrington!”

“What? It’s my break!” Steve yelled through the wall and then came around the side door. “Oh hey! Dustin! And Dustin's sister!”

“We’re in the same grade as Harrington,” you said. “Shouldn’t it be Y/N’s brother?”

“Well we were never in the same class,” Steve observed.

See the full post

1,848 notes - Posted February 6, 2022

Pinky Promise

Robert Pattinson! Bruce Wayne x fem!reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: i guess the personality is a bit of a spoiler but there are no plot points at all from the movie

Author’s Note: coming out of the woodworks for my DC boy Bruce Wayne? More likely than you think

Summary: You manage to get an interview with Bruce Wayne but he seems…more awkward then you had intended.

Genre: fluff

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

Bruce Wayne was a hard man to get a hold of. Every time you tried to contact him it went through to the business who stated he was a very busy man, unable to speak to anyone at the moment. You understood that and you respected that. He was a rich man in the middle of Gotham where rich people were either corrupt or private. You were happy to know he was mostly just private, as far as anyone understood. He notoriously hated the press so you tried not to push to get an interview, like every other news channel. You had better things to cover than him most of the time.

Gotham never sleeps, after all.

You managed to scrounge together an appointment, but the front desk lady was currently giving you a grimace.

“He’s not in,” she said, slightly annoyed that you were even bothering to come to your appointment clearly. “I don’t know who made this time for you but they made a mistake. Mr. Wayne isn’t taking any interviews.” “Oh um I called about a month ago. It seemed like he was taking a limited number.”

“You probably won't catch him. He’s never home.” “It was my understanding he never left his house.”

“You understood wrong.” You pursed your lips, putting your palms down on the front counter.

“Is there any way I could wait?” She looked up at you, eyes narrow behind thick rimmed glasses.

“Sure,” she said. This must be what they did. Send people in, wait for them to get impatient and leave. You figured Bruce would never see you but still you walked past her into the hallway near the elevator and sat down. He lived on the top floor so if he was coming in through the front door he had to get to this elevator, surely.

You waited probably about six hours. You got some work done in the seat and pretended not to notice when the front desk lady peeked around the corner to see if you were still there.

Bruce arrived home around 6, half his face covered by hair and a dark black coat over his body. You stood up upon seeing him, clearing your throat.

“Mr. Wayne?” He looked at you nervously, skittish like.

“Yes?” “I’m Y/N Y/L/N. We had an appointment early this evening.”

“I don’t have any appointments,” he said, confused but not angry.

“I made it with a uh..” you looked down at your embarrassingly large stack of papers. You had been trying to get some work done. “Mr. Pennyworth?” His jaw set and he looked around nervously and then nodded once.

“You can come on up then.”

You tried to hide your smile and eagerly followed behind him to the elevator. He stood in front of you as the doors closed. You had never actually seen him in person. He was broad shouldered and kind of ruggishly handsome. You figured that being professional with him was never going to work so you tried to level yourself to him. You were both just people.

The doors opened and you followed him into his home.

You were stunned. Most of the rich guys you had interviewed had a modern looking penthouse, white walls, clean clear chairs. Bruce’s home looked ancient but gorgeous. There was some form of fancy architecture on every wall that you were consumed by. He noticed you staring and cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry you just have a beautiful house,” you said dumbly. “I could write a whole article on just these walls.” You put your hands against the wall gently, feeling the hard wood textures.

“So you’re a journalist?” he asked with his first hint of distaste.

“Yeah, sorry I should have been upfront.”

See the full post

1,994 notes - Posted March 6, 2022

First Couple Days

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: slight season 4 spoilers but not plot points just eddie and kind of what his role is, making out, being aggressively in love with each other

Author’s Note: this is kinda shitty but i wanted to do something aimless to get a grasp on eddies character/dialogue! The next one will be better, i promise. I have a couple ideas for him and steve (and billy lets me honest here) but wanted to throw this out into the void first

Summary: you and eddie just started to date and are keeping it a secret

Genre: fluff

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

“This is you being not focused. This is actually like, the opposite of you being focused. Very unlike you,” Dustin said, waving his hand in front of Eddie’s face. He was staring forward, lips slightly opened. He cleared his throat, neck turning aggressively towards the smaller boy.

“I’m very focused.”

“You don’t look focused man,” Mike muttered, trying to look lowkey. “We have the campaign tonight. We need you at 100%.”

“You don’t need to tell me that Mikey. I am aware of the brain power it requires to beat you small children and company through till the end.”

“Well it isn’t the end yet,” Lucas said, looking up from his food.

They were sitting in the lunch hall, packed to the brim with people. Eddie tried to stare at his friends and listen to them. They were talking about the campaign that was going on tonight, the one that he had planned. It was a good one, they were all sure to enjoy it.

Yet at the same time his mind was elsewhere. He could see you sitting across the room, nose stuck in a book as you sat beside Nancy Wheeler. She was talking to you but you weren’t really listening. You had always had that relationship. He knew you had been friends for years, even when your personalities started to slightly drift apart.

Eddie and you had started to date secretly two days ago.

And he just couldn't bring himself to think seriously about anything except for you.

“What are you thinking about so hard?” Dustin asked. “You look ridiculous. Like your eyes are gonna pop right out of your head.” He made gestures with his hands and his eyes.

“How on Earth, you are going to survive tonight,” Eddie said offhandedly, a sly stupid smile on his face. You weren’t even paying attention to him? He was far away, sure, but you hadn’t even looked his way. Maybe he should stand on the table again.

“Fantastically. You’re no match for Mike and his spell casting abilities,” Dustin said proudly.

“Or Dustin's deception. We’re starting at 6 right?” Mike questioned.

“6:30. I have some…deals to make at 6. Open your ears small children, I already told you we were a bit later today.” Eddie snapped back into reality. He turned to Dustin, his tongue sticking through his teeth, eyebrows raised. “Understood?”

“Absolutely.”

“Max’s mom just wanted me to double check that Max was alright while she works double shifts,” you told Nancy as she drove you up between Max and Eddie’s place.

“Do you want me to stick around? I can drive you back. I told Jake to interview people at the game tonight.” “Nancy Wheeler taking a day off?”

“More like Nancy Wheeler needs to call her boyfriend,” she said, lips pursed. You laughed through your lips and shook your head.

“Have fun with Jonathan. I’m staying with Max for dinner then I’ll have her mom drop me off at home,” you explained, opening up the door. “Thank you.” You slid out of the car and then turned around. “When I said have fun with Jonathan I meant not too much fun. The government listens to our phone calls, you know.” She rolled her eyes.

“Get out.” You shut the door behind you, still smiling gently. She started to back away almost immediately. Nancy always had something she felt like she was running late for. You could always rely on her being the same in that regard.

See the full post

2,633 notes - Posted May 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Eyes, Smiles and Touches

Billy Hargrove x fem!reader, Steve Harrington x fem!reader, Eddie Munson x fem!reader (some Robin Buckley x fem!reader)

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: some suggestive dialogue

Author’s Note: before you all ask im not writing a part 2 because then i would have to chose one of them and i REFUSE (billy)

Summary: You’re really close friends with three of the guys from Hawkins High. Also Billy didn’t die in starcourt cause reasons

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)