#really we just think it would be better if you uh. left the polycule. no offense of course we still love you just. don't want you here

[flashhwing]

now i don't really ascribe to the whole "every character needs to be paired off in the end" but i DO feel kinda bad in warden!hawke verse giving garrett and bethany loving partners but not carver. unfortunately the only person that i like carver with who isn't already in a relationship is alistair who is king in this world and also in a political marriage

now i'm not saying carver CAN'T be king alistair's mistress but it does take some wrangling to make it work

[five-rivers]

Duty of Care

@cerucleandaimond Hello! I am your backup truce gifter. This should get you prompts 1, 3, and 4, de-aging, raised by ghosts, and sibling bonding. Enjoy!

.

“Well,” drawled the ghost in the white jacket, “he’s definitely traumatized.”

“I am not traumatized,” snapped Danny, straining against the bonds that held him to the table.

“Uh huh,” said the ghost, skeptically.

Danny abandoned that line of argument. “If I were traumatized,” he said, instead, “it would be by them.” He violently swung his head, the only part of his body he was able to move, to indicate his enemies who had brought him here against his will.

They had the temerity to look innocent.

“Right,” said the ghost masquerading as a doctor. “So, if you sign this and consent to guardianship of the minor, we can do the procedure today and release him into your custody.”

“What about me? I don’t consent to any procedures!” shouted Danny, ineffectually.

“We can discuss it outside, if you’d like,” said the supposed doctor. “But, in my professional opinion, he shouldn’t be left alone.”

“The whelp would find a way to wriggle out while we had our backs turned,” growled Skulker.

“I’ll also have to recommend that you don’t call your child ‘whelp.’ It’s potentially psychologically damaging.”

“I am not affiliated with these people!”

“You are, though,” said the ‘doctor.’ “They brought you here. They signed the paperwork. That’s affiliation.”

“We aren’t related, and they aren’t my guardians!”

“They sort of are, though.” The ghost turned away. “Are you all going to sign that or not?”

“We’re going to sign it!” whined Technus. “Just give me a minute to read the fine print.

“Weren’t you bragging about being able to go through a whole EULA in a minute?” asked Skulker, yanking the paper away from him.

“Why are you even doing this! You hate me! You want to skin me. And you want to take over the world!”

If Danny didn’t know better, he’d say Skulker and Technus looked guilty. But he did know better, and his parents’ theories on ghost emotions aside, he didn’t think the two of them were capable of feeling guilt. Or shame.

“Er,” said Skulker. “That was, er…”

“A read error!” exclaimed Technus. “A glitch!”

“That doesn’t make any sense!” screamed Danny, because shrieking was the only way he could cause damage at the moment.

“It does too!”

“It does not! How do you go from wanting to kill me to wanting to adopt me?”

Technus made a noise like an overworked modem. “We never wanted to kill you, ghost child!”

“You have both definitely tried to murder me! More than once!”

“Have not!”

“Have so!”

“Just sign the paperwork already!” demanded Skulker, shoving the clipboard into Technus’s face.

Technus grumbled, but accepted it. He pulled a pen with far too many blinking lights on it to be anything close to functional from his lab coat, attempted to sign the paperwork, failed, and then begged a ballpoint pen off of Skulker.

“Why are you looking at me like that, whelp?” demanded Skulker. He did a lot of demanding, which was really unfair of him in Danny’s opinion.

“I thought you were dating Ember,” said Danny. If he couldn’t get out, maybe he could annoy Skulker and Technus into abandoning… whatever this was.

“I am!”

“He is!”

“And this is, what, exactly?” drawled Danny, attempting to channel Vlad at his most infuriating.

“A strictly platonic partnership!”

“A polycule!”

Skulker and Technus stopped and stared at each other. Then shrugged. “It can be both!”

“Yes,” cackled Technus. “Both! Like a two-in-one tablet!”

It was Danny’s turn to stare. “Your analogies are bad enough to be outlawed by the Geneva Convention.”

“Oh ho? You think so, ghost child? Perhaps I will use them to conquer-!”

Skulker cut Technus off by shoving one of his metal hands into his face and stealing back the clipboard. He all but threw it at the doctor.

“Excellent!” said the doctor ghost. “This looks like it’s all in order. I’ll just get the procedure started, and then you can get out of here.” He approached Danny. “The sooner the better,” he whispered under his breath. “Don’t envy you parents like that, kid.”

“They are not my parents,” Danny hissed. “I have parents, okay, real parents who gave birth to me.”

“Parents who caused your death and tried to exorcize you,” said the doctor ghost, flatly. He put one gloved hand on Danny’s forehead. “Now, try to relax. It’ll go much more smoothly that way.”

Needless to say, Danny did not relax. He did, in fact, struggle harder.

Sadly, he did not struggle hard enough to keep the doctor ghost from sticking the nozzle of a spray bottle up his nose and squeezing.

.

It was, Skulker had to admit, somewhat… disturbing to watch the whelp - Phantom - fall unconscious and begin to shrink.

“Hm,” said the doctor. “That’s unusual.”

“I was under the impression that the subject was supposed to revert to an earlier version.”

“Yes,” said the doctor, “but usually they melt first. Ah. Looks like he’s done.”

The doctor deposited the much smaller Phantom into Skulker’s arms.

“Now,” said the doctor, “the purpose of this procedure is to give abused and neglected children a second chance. It’s important for parents like yourself to remember that it does not erase the trauma, it simply lets the child forget it, so that it can heal. With the love of new, attentive, caretakers.”

There was definitely a threat there.

“I was a parent before, you know,” said Technus, nasally, “and none of my children are traumatized. I think we’ll manage.”

The doctor looked skeptical. “You’re sure about that, huh.”

.

“Oh my god,” said Ember. “Babypop is literally a baby now. Why didn’t you tell me you were doing this?”

“Uh,” said Skulker, who didn’t really have a good reason for it. “Didn’t think you’d want to bother?”

Ember frowned at Skulker. Baby Phantom made grabby hands at her hair.

“This is the funniest thing that’s happened around here in ages. Why would you think- Ow! What the hell, he shouldn’t even be able to grab my hair.”

“I mean-”

“It’s made of fire. How are you doing that, pipsqueak?”

Phantom babbled at her.

“Okay, this might have been a little funnier if he was just a bit older.”

Phantom made some more babbling noises.

“Do you think you could-?”

“It doesn’t work that way,” said Skulker.

“You didn’t even-”

“I am not going to age him up just so you can taunt him.”

“It isn’t taunting. It’s teasing. And I was going to ask how he was grabbing fire firs- Ow! How are you doing that?”

.

“Now this,” said Technus, “is a transistor. Can you say transistor?”

“Awawaw.”

“Very good!”

.

Technus threw the switch and lightning sprang into being along the walls of the room. “MWAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH! I AM MASTER OF ALL THINGS ELECTRICAL!”

“AWAWAWAWA!”

“NOW YOU’RE GETTING IT, CHILD!”

.

“This,” said Technus, offering the object to Phantom, “is a punch card. It was used to program computers during the early days of the technology.” He turned away. “Of course, programming has progressed since then.”

When he turned back around, Phantom had the punch card in his mouth.

“EXCELLENT! YOU ARE NOW ABSORBING TECHNOLOGY! YOU ARE TAKING AFTER ME, NOT SKULKER! I AM VICTORIOUS! I AM THE PREFERRED PARENT!”

“Skulker is made of technology,” said Ember, walking by with a piece of toast in her mouth.

“I AM VICTORIOUS, WOMAN!”

“DON’T CALL MY WOMAN A WOMAN!” screamed Skulker from the other room.

Phantom continued to chew on the punch card.

.

“Why are you staring at the infant?” asked Skulker.

“Just, something struck me as weird today,” said Ember. She poked Phantom’s cheek, and he babbled cheerily at her. “Man, he’s a happy baby. I kind of thought he’d be a cranky crybaby.”

“That’s what you thought was weird?”

“No. Like. He’s half human, right? He’s got that whole light show thing going on. He’s sort of alive.”

“Yes, that is why I hunted him for so long.” Skulker puffed out his chest, remembering his ultimate victory over Phantom. “And also why we have acquired so much human baby food.”

“Uh huh,” said Ember. “So. Why’s he been a ghost the whole time?”

“Hm,” said Skulker who had… not noticed that, actually.

“Like, the doctor shrinking him didn’t accidentally kill him, right?”

“We would have noticed that!”

“Would you have?”

“I’m the Ghost Zone’s greatest hunter! I know when my prey is dead!”

“You hunt ghosts. All of your prey is dead, and usually has been for a while. Except Phantom, I guess.”

“He isn’t dead,” protested Skulker.

Phantom began to float.

“I mean,” said Skulker. “He isn’t any more dead than he was when I first started hunting him.”

“Are you sure about that?” asked Ember.

.

“What do you mean, you can’t tell if he’s still half alive or not?”

The doctor ghost shrugged. “I’m just a pediatrician, I don’t know what you want from me.”

“What kind of doctor are you, if you can’t tell whether or not a patient is alive?”

“One that’s been dead for a while,” said the doctor with an unconcerned shrug. “You should find a half ghost expert, if you’re so worried.”

.

“We aren’t going to tell Plasmius about this, are we?” asked Technus.

Skulker scoffed. “Of course not! Don’t be ridiculous. He’d try to kidnap our whelp.”

.

“For the record, this idea is worse,” hissed Technus.

“No, it isn’t,” said Skulker. “Now hurry up and finish hacking this infernal machine.”

“They designed it to be hard for me to hack,” complained Technus.

The whine of an ectoblast pointed at the back of his head prevented any response Skulker could give.

“Skulker,” said Jasmine Fenton, very sweetly. “Where is my little brother?”

.

“I can’t believe you did this,” said Jazz, bouncing her (very) little brother on her lap. “Why did you even do this?”

Sam shook the thermos, hard. “Answer her.”

“Ow!”

“Hey!”

“That’s another purpleback gorilla worm for you,” muttered Tucker as he fiddled with Skulker’s armor.

“We found out how he died!” shouted Technus.

“Shut up!” shouted Skulker.

“You decided to de-age Danny because you found out how he became half ghost?” That was… entirely illogical. Ghosts could be out there, but there didn’t seem to be any real connection between the cause and the action. “Why?”

There was no answer beyond cursing and a few hollow thumps.

“Are they fighting each other inside the thermos?” asked Tucker, uncertainly.

“I didn’t know they could do that,” said Sam.

.

Keeping a baby ghost in Fentonworks really wasn’t tenable, so camping in the Ghost Zone it was. Their parents thought she was at a friend’s. It could be worse. At least Danny seemed to remember her- or have positive feelings about her. It was hard to tell, because his vocabulary was… limited.

But he hung on to her, and smiled at her, and did a handful of other little things that Jazz vaguely remembered from when she was two and three. He sucked on his knuckles instead of his thumb, seemed fascinated with everything that glowed or flew - which included himself - and babbled almost constantly. It felt familiar, even though Jazz didn’t really remember it.

“What are we going to do, Danny?” she asked. She didn’t really direct the question at him, although he was tucked into the sleeping bag with her, but instead the roof of the Fenton Ghost Away Tent (patent pending). “What if we can’t get you back to normal? We can’t leave you with Skulker and Technus, they did this to you, but Mom and Dad…” She trailed off with a sigh. “Frostbite? Dora? Gosh… I thought you being half dead was the weirdest thing you’d ever done. Well, I guess you didn’t do it. All of this stuff just sort of… Happens to you.”

Not that Danny didn’t get himself into trouble often enough, but this was… This was a lot. And she couldn’t blame it on Danny.

She resolved to give the thermos another good shaking when she woke up in the morning.

.

“What were you looking at our files for, anyway?” asked Jazz, after the promised shaking. It was rather late to ask, but she had been much more concerned about the tiny, vulnerable version of her brother at the time.

There was grumbling from the thermos, but Technus, surprisingly, answered. “We were worried about Phantom,” he said.

“Worried about what?” They can’t have been too worried about his wellbeing if they’d turned him into a baby.

“He hasn’t turned human, while he’s been with us,” said Technus. “We were… worried.”

Jazz felt cold, and it had nothing to do with the natural chill of the Ghost Zone. “Did you kill my brother?” she hissed, feeling absolutely murderous.

Danny started to cry.

She turned her attention to comforting him.

“No,” said Skulker, sounding offended. “I don’t kill anything I don’t mean to kill!”

“You’ve threatened to skin him, so forgive me if I don’t believe you didn’t mean to kill him,” snapped Jazz, bouncing Danny, who slowly calmed.

“That was why we were looking at your files!” said Technus. “We were trying to find something that could, ahem, test that safely.”

“Did you find anything?”

“Aha, well…”

.

“As a teenager without superpowers, breaking into the evil lair of a supervillain without backup sounds like a bad idea.”

“Your favorite superhero is Batman.”

“Batman is fictional.”

“Yes, yes,” said Jazz, interrupting Sam and Tucker, “but do you think we can do it? For Danny.”

Sam and Tucker exchanged looks. “Yeah,” said Tucker. “We can do it.”

.

“I hate this place,” said Tucker.

“Shut up,” said Sam. They didn’t know if Vlad had left any clones here to watch his house.

They crept up the banister into Vlad’s study.

“Gosh, Danny wasn’t kidding about the stupid golden football. Why do people with money spend it on such stupid stuff?”

“You have money.”

“My parents have money,” corrected Sam. She sighed. “Let’s… just do this.”

.

Jazz held the Plasmius Maximus in one hand, and her tiny baby brother in the other. Nausea twisted her stomach.

“I can’t do it,” she said, finally.

“You know what we went through to get that,” said Sam, holding a bag of ice to her temple, “and now you say you can’t do it?”

“Look at his little face! Could you taze this cute little face? These chubby cheeks?”

“Have you no shame as an older sibling?” asked Tucker, gravely.

“You’re both only children! You don’t know how it is!”

“I could do it,” said Technus from inside the thermos.

“No you couldn’t,” said Skulker.

“Give it to me,” said Sam. “I’ll do it.”

Jazz handed over the Plasmius Maximus. Sam gripped it tightly, staring down at her shrunken friend. For one minute. Two. Three.

She slumped. “I can’t do it either,” she admitted.

Exasperated, Jazz reached for the Plasmius Maximus. Sam reflexively jerked back, falling into Tucker, who overcompensated and tipped them both into Jazz. The Plasmius Maximus came down and discharged into all four of them.

“Ow,” said Danny.

“You’re back!” shouted Jazz. Danny was promptly dogpiled.

“Ow,” he repeated. Then, more contemplatively, “That was really weird.”

[sparklecryptid]

*laughs forever*

Oh man, the picture of the Feanorians going, "Are we SURE this is Adar" and watching Ace BRISTLE at that like an insulted cat and going, "Yeah no that's him!" is PRICELESS.

Also him freezing Eonwe's feet to the stone floor is an amazing picture too. "Yeah no that's MY evil relative thanks. He serves NO ONE. Emphatically."

YES, Ace polycule rights! He's probably really nervous about Nyx and Nerdanel meeting, but probably not for the right reasons. He's probably worried about tensions regarding the past marriage to Nerdanel and the current marriage to Nyx, and his memories about how Finwe's marriages went-

When really, I'm thinking they meet and it's more like;

Nyx: *awkward pause* Hi?

Nerdanel: *curious* Hello?

Nerdanel, after another awkward pause: So, does he still tap his feet when he cooks in the morning? And tear sweet rolls open to eat the filling first? (or you know, fill in random cute stuff here that better fits him, lols)

Nyx, suddenly grinning: YES. Did he used to-

aaaand then they're off and giggling, heads together an hour later while Ace watches simultaneously suspicious (not BAD suspicious tho) and relieved.

AH, and just think of when they all ask about Ace's current life and they learn he runs a BAR. Like, they were told he's a Prince. That did not surprise them. They learn he's the Kings oldest son. Yeah, that checks out. But then, he's a bastard, his little brother is the actual heir and he's got a dive bar on the far side of the city.

This they HAVE to see.

And then Ace's former siblings also show up (Arafinwe jammed the crown on the first kid he could grab and came too! He's NOT missing this!)

Dalksjdaslkjdas YES I LOVE THE NREDANEL AND NYX BIT

Don’t mind me just-

-

Nyx loves his husband. He does. But he can say that half the shit Ace has brought into their life has been baffling and weird. This current instance of their lives being baffling and weird takes the cake.

Ace has introduced Nyx to his - former? The question mark is there because Nyx does not know how elf marriage works - wife and then had been promptly called back to his bar for some reason or another.

Ace had only left after being reassured by both Nyx and Nerdanel that it was fine. Really.

It’s not like anything is going to happen.

“Would you mind if I asked you a question about - Ace? That’s his name now yes?” Nerdanel’s voice is pleasant and despite the awkward tension between them Nyx finds himself more curious about her than anything.

“As long as it’s nothing he should answer himself,” Nyx says.

“Oh, nothing like that.” Nerdanel pauses. “Does he still sing when he cooks?”

Nyx laughs.

“Yes, he does. Did he used used to tug at his hair when upset?”

Nerdanel grins. “He did! Does he still favour spices that burn?”

“Yes! Did he-“

They continue like that until Ace comes back.

Meanwhile

Ace stares at all three of his brothers standing in his bar. He blinks once, he blinks twice.

He stares at Noctis and suddenly debates encouraging Gladio and Cor to spend more time training Noctis.

Noctis grins at him, sheepishly and shy.

“Uh,” Noctis says while rubbing the back of his neck, “They wanted to see where you live?”

Ace turns his gaze to Finarfin and Fingolfin. They look the same as they always did. Finarfin is grinning as he looks down at Ace and Ace feels indignant at the fact his younger siblings are taller than him.

(Noctis better not become taller than him. Ace will riot.)

“You work here?”” Finarfin sounds delighted and Ace feels like there are shenanigans coming.

“Yes.”

“Why?” Fingolfin asks, “We were told you are a Prince.”

“Doesn’t mean I want to be one,” Ace says dryly and takes great pleasure in how Finarfin and Fingolfin pause, “I’m not even the heir to the throne.” A pointed look at Noctis has Finarfin and Fingolfin looking down at the teenager in front of them.

Noctis flushes under their gaze. He’s embarrassed.

Serves him right.

“But if you work here, where do you live?” Finarfin asks.

“Upstairs,” Ace says.

Fingolfin looks aghast.

[shuttymcshutfuck]

So deeply hurt

Fandom: The Magnus Archives

Relationships: Jonathan Sims/Martin Blackwood/Tim Stoker/Sasha James (polycule)

Type: Hurt/comfort

Word count: 2,039

TW: crying, hiding pain, fever, internalised ableism

A03 link

Now that he was closer Jon could tell it was a bad day. He could see the tension in Tim’s jaw, the way he swayed ever so slightly when he stood before righting himself, the fake smile he’s plastered on.

or: Tim's having flare up so they have a movie night.

Set vaguely in S1 or S2 but Sasha doesn't get not!them-ed.

As much as Tim joked around and slacked off, he was very rarely late. Especially not almost two hours late. Jon tried to relax as much as possible but with the concerned glances from Martin and Sasha every few minutes through the window in his door and the constant ticking of the clock in his office it was getting harder by the minute. But he had to stay professional, Elias couldn’t know about their relationship. Jon wasn’t ashamed in the slightest, he just didn’t want to get them all fired. Although, that didnt mean he hadn't sent off quite a few messages to him. All of which were unanswered. He was typing another when he heard a voice curse at the top of the stairs. Trying to look as casual as possible but presumably failing miserably, Jon grabbed his cane and rushed to the bottom of the stairs.

“Tim?” Through the fluorescent lights he could barely make out Tim sitting at the top of the stairs, crutches lying next to him. “Do you need a hand?” He tried to keep the worry out of his voice. They’d all agreed that none of them would make a big deal if Jon or Tim were using their aids. He wanted to respect that as best he could since he knew how bad it felt when people would keep pointing it out.

“Ah, no need. I got this!” Jon watched as Tim slowly slid himself and his crutches down each step before using them to stand. Now that he was closer Jon could tell it was a bad day. He could see the tension in Tim’s jaw, the way he swayed ever so slightly when he stood before righting himself, the fake smile he’s plastered on.

“Well, that was one way to do that. I’m sure Martin or Sasha would’ve been able to help.”

“Na, it’s alright. This building’s just inaccessible as shit. I doubt we would’ve been able to all fit together on those weird ass stairs anyway.”

“Well since you’re here now, there’s a statement on your desk I’d like you to look into after you’ve finished compiling the research from yesterday.” Putting his professionalism on as much as he could, Jon went back to his office leaving Tim to get settled at his desk. He shot Martin a quick text to keep an eye on him and tried his best to continue with his work.

Recording a few statements helped distract him for a bit even if he knew that they were all fake. Floating lights, a ‘disappearing’ man and walkie talkie feedback that sounded like words. It wasn’t long until a knock at his door brought him back to the present. “Come in.”

“Hey,” Martin, of course. “I’m going to the breakroom to make myself a cuppa, do you want one?” Jon never understood why Martin always lowered himself when he entered a room. It was like he was trying to take up the least amount of space possible.

“Yes, thank you. I’ll come along, I need to stretch my legs anyway.” Perfect, a completely professional reason to talk to him in relative privacy. “How has he been?” Jon set his cane beside him as he sat at the breakroom table, watching Martin go through the practiced motions of making tea.

“I’m not sure, he looks a bit peaky but he seems alright.” It was days like these that Jon struggled with boundaries the four of them had set. He knows that if Tim needs help, he’ll ask for it. But he also knows how stubborn you can become when you’re in pain, how frustrating it can be, how hard it is to ask for help. “In other news, I was thinking of having a movie night at mine tonight? Tim and Sasha are down, fancy it?” Jon brought himself back, this is something he could do. Something that would help.

“That sounds lovely but why don’t we have it at mine?” Jon took the cup Martin handed him and sipped, perfect as always.

“Uh, sure.” Martin looked a bit hesitant, probably because Jon usually doesn’t offer up his flat if Martin’s already offered. They all know Jon prefers their flats to his because then he can kidnap a jumper or cardigan to feel safer once he has to leave.

“It’s just, my flat’s closer and I think it’s best for Tim and I since there’s a lift.” He wasn’t lying persay, the lift would be better for the two of them but that wasn’t the only reason. He had supplies for bad days at his house. Heat pads, painkillers, ice packs, you name it. And he knew Tim was going to need it. He’d crash soon enough, most likely when they were all finally settled at Jon’s, so he needed to be able to help once Tim let them.

“Oh right, of course. Sounds great, I’ll let them know.”

-----

It wasn’t long until Tim popped into Jon’s office, struggling with the door slightly. “I’ve got that research for you, Boss.” Jon gestured to one of the seats in front of his desk which Tim took quickly. He pulled the file from his bag once he sat down and had his hands free again.

“Tim, I- um. Is there anything i can do?” Jon tried to be as gentle as possible, not wanting to sound patronising.

“I’m not sure what you mean.” So he was still in the stubborn stage, great. “I’m all set for the last hour work wise if that’s what you’re asking.” He stood and Jon could see him hide a wince.

“Okay, I’ll let you get on then. Thank you again for the research.” All Jon got in return was a nod before Tim was out the door as fast as he could be.

-----

The journey to Jon’s flat was nice for once, mostly due to Sasha driving them all instead of having to take the tube. But even just sitting mostly in silence it was comfortable. As soon as they were in his flat he wandered off to get changed into comfier clothes, urging them all to do the same. Once they were all back in the living room he spotted Tim in a familiar jumper, specifically the one Jon was looking for as it was nice and cosy but he left it with Tim. He looked like he needed it more than he did.

Stocked up with snacks and tea, bundled up in Jon’s duvet that he’d asked Martin to bring through, movie night began. After finishing La La Land per Sasha’s request and Howl’s Moving Castle per Martin’s request they decided to order some takeout.

“Tim, do you just want your usual?” Sasha was over at the table, notepad in hand with everyone's orders but his. The only answer she got however was a groan. Jon gently moved him off of his shoulder where he had been resting his head and it was only then he felt the heat coming off Tim’s skin.

“Hey, sleepyhead. Can you wake up for a minute for me please?” Jon watched him blink slowly and he swore he had fallen in love with him all over again.

“Is he alright?” Martin moved the duvet off of their laps and knelt at the feet of Jon and Tim. “Love, you’ve got a bit, uh-” Martin's gaze fell to Jon’s shoulder and when he followed he saw what Martin was clearly holding back a laugh at. Tim had drooled over his shirt.

“Martin, can you go into the cabinet in the kitchen, grab some painkillers, water and the thermometer for me please?” Martin’s face dropped so Jon rushed to calm him. “He’s okay, I think it's just a flare up. Take a breath, Love.” Jon watched him do as asked and head over to the kitchen. “Sasha, just order him his usual as long as it’s not too spicy.”

“Gotcha, I’ll be back in a minute.” She placed a kiss on Jon’s cheek then Tim’s, frowning slightly at the heat before heading to the bedroom to order.

“So, how are you really feeling? All of it, okay?” Jon kept his voice low and soft, channeling all the times Martin had calmed him down from a nightmare, all the times Sasha had comforted when the knock on his office door sounded too familiar, all the times Tim had helped him home once everyone had left because the pain was so bad.

"I'm alright, just being a drama queen as usual." Jon watched as Tim’s eyes filled with tears.

" Tim ." It seemed that Jon had finally chipped at his stubborn exterior just enough to let Tim breathe.

“I…Awful, it just hurts and I’m so tired, I don’t-” Jon pulled him into a hug as he finally let the tears fall, running a hand up and down Tim’s back while the other cradled his head.

“It’s okay, it's okay.” They sat there, Jon whispered sweet nothings until Tim’s sobs had calmed enough that he could speak “What hurts, Love?”

“Everything but my hips hurt the worst. It’s like they’re shooting pain down the rest of my legs.”  Tim pulled back slightly and Jon let him, wiping away Tim’s tears with his thumb.

“Got them Jon, but if it’s a flare up then why do we need the thermometer?” Martin’s eyes flickered over Tim’s face and Jon could tell he was holding back his mother-hen instincts. He trusted Jon and it made his chest warm to think that he trusted Jon enough to let him lead.

“I’m just hot stuff, what can I say?” The joke made them both smile, breaking some of the tension.

“Sometimes during flare ups you can get low grade fevers, I just want to make sure it’s not too high.” Jon explained as Martin kneeled back at their feet.

“Alright, okay.”

“Martin, it’s okay.” Jon reached out and took his hand, the worry practically radiating off of him.

“I know, I’ve just never been around either of you when you’ve had a flare up before and-” Jon’s eyes fell to his lap, guilt slowly seeping into his bones. He could tell Tim felt the same, squeezing his hand slightly before interrupting Martin. “You have actually, as much as I don’t want to admit it, we are relatively good at hiding them. Which isn’t necessarily a good thing.”

Martin looked to Jon and he nodded. “Right. Well, we can talk about that later.”

“Okay.” He turned to Tim. “Is it alright if i take your temperature, love?” Jon was pretty sure that he would say yes but it was still good to ask, to make sure Tim was comfortable.

“Yeah, alright.” Martin handed him the thermometer and Jon put it in his ear, waiting for the beep before taking it out again and doing it to the other ear.

“Hmm, 38.1 and 38.3. Not bad but still could be better. Let’s get some painkillers and water into you. Sasha’s ordering food just now so you’ll have that soon too.” Tim took them without issues but seemed uncomfortable when Jon mentioned dinner.

“I’m really not hungry just now.”

“Nausea or just no appetite?” Jon didn’t want to force him to eat if he felt nauseous but he needed some form of food in him if he was going to take more painkillers.

“Appetite.” Good, that’s something at least. Something he can work with.

“Why don’t you try some food and if you don’t want what we’ve ordered I’ll make you some toast?” As much as he hated that Tim was in so much pain it felt nice knowing what to do for once. Pain was something he was familiar with, something he knew so much about that it was instinct to him now.

“Alright.” Jon stood up and motioned for him to move along the couch slightly and he complied. He got them situated so Tim was lying down with his head on Jon’s chest and legs over Martin’s lap. He felt Tim curl into him and sigh contentedly. “Jon?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.” Jon ran his fingers through Tim’s hair, watching as his eyes started to shut again.

“Of course, love. You know I’m always here.”

[ask-rwby-multishipper]

“Cinder needs some love. I dare random A and B to cuddle Cinder and make her smile, no matter what it takes” - anon

Name Randomizer: Weiss (A) and Ruby (B)

Late night at the RWBY dorm…

Cinder: Since when do you have a massive mattress in your dorm instead of bunks?

Weiss: Since Vale Furniture Outlet started carrying a Vacuan King and offered delivery to Beacon.

Ruby, already in her nighttime attire: And it’s polycule friendly! *leaps into bed, bouncing on the mattress* For the biggest of cuddle piles!

Cinder: Well, at least that means we’ll have room.

Weiss: Especially with Blake and Yang sleeping over with JNPR tonight, we’ll have an endless expanse of bed.

Ruby: We’re still going to cuddle, though, right?

Weiss: Yes, Ruby, like always.

Ruby: Yaaay.

Cinder, sighing as she detaches her robo-arm: Are we actually going to get any sleep, or is Ruby going to keep us up with her constant tossing and turning?

Ruby: If you came here to sleep, you ain’t here for the right reasons!

Weiss: Would you be getting any sleep otherwise, Cinder?

Cinder: Good point.

Ruby: Quit jabbering and get in here with me!

Cinder: I still need to change clothes.

Weiss: And I need a shower.

Ruby: I could take one with you.

Weiss: What, why?

Ruby: You take too long washing your hair! With my help you wouldn’t take as long, and you’d use less water. It’s the economical choice.

Cinder: Can’t argue with economics, huh, Weiss?

Weiss, sighing: Okay, good point. But don’t make it weird.

Ruby: If anyone would make it weird, it’s you, Weiss.

Cinder: Oof, true tho.

Weiss: *scoffs*

Ruby: Cinder can join, too!

Cinder: Huh? But I don’t need to shower!

Ruby: Uh, yeah you do.

Weiss, mockingly: Oof, true tho.

Ruby: Our shower is big enough, c’mon!

Cinder: I’m not getting out of this, am I?

Weiss: Not unless you plan on smuggling yourself out of the kingdom and hiding for the rest of your life.

Ruby: And even then, I would find you. *hops out of bed and heads to the bathroom* Let’s go! *starts awkwardly yanking her tank top off, bumps in to the door frame, then steps inside*

Weiss, sighing, squeezing the bridge of her nose: I do love her, I promise I do.

Cinder, chuckling and tossing her arm onto the bed: This place would be boring as hell without her, to be fair. *takes off her jacket and pulls her top off* Come on, time to be economical. *throws her shirt at Weiss*

Weiss, blushing as Cinder’s shirt lands on her face: Yeah, right. *suddenly flinches and tosses the shirt away in a panic* What the fuck, that reeks!

Ruby, from in the bathroom: Told you she doesn’t shower.

Cinder: It’s called executive dysfunction.

Ruby: Yes, I know that!

One shower later…

Weiss: I despise how you both towel dry your hair.

Ruby, standing with a towel around her, hair a wild mess: Don’t worry, it falls into place.

Cinder, currently towel drying her hair: It’s just my style.

Weiss, rolling her eyes, a towel wrapped around herself while carefully blowdrying her hair: Especially before bed. You’re going to wake up and it’ll still be a mess.

Ruby: And? I’ll look cute.

Cinder, revealing her messy hair: She’s got you there.

Weiss, sighing: Okay, fine. *glances over* Cinder, why are you wrapping your towel around your waist?

Cinder, hand on her hip, looking in the mirror: It’s gender affirming.

Ruby, snickering: You look like the kind of stereotypical boy who goes around whipping others with a towel in a locker room.

Cinder, shrugging: I can do that. *takes her towel off*

Ruby: Oh, oh no.

Cinder, spinning the towel around: Oh yes.

Ruby, running out of the bathroom: Nooo!

Cinder: Come back here! *runs out after her*

Weiss, sighing: Ozpin is so good at picking team leaders. (/s)

*SNAP*

Ruby, from the other room: Agh, my butt!

Cinder, laughing: Oh shit, my bad!

Weiss, emerging from the bathroom to check on them: What the heck happened?

Ruby, face down on the bed, kicking her legs behind herself while rubbing her butt: Ow ow ow ow!

Cinder, shrugging with coiled up towel in hand: I think I won.

Weiss, facepalming: You two are ridiculous.

Cinder, readying her towel: What, you want some, too?

Weiss, flinching and holding up her own towel to keep it from falling: Not in the slightest!

Cinder, chuckling: Thought so. *looks back at Ruby* You good?

Ruby, fake sniffling: Yeah, just *sniff* in so much pain.

Cinder: I’m sorry, you were just no match for me.

Ruby, poking her left butt cheek, giggling: Kiss it better.

Cinder, leaning over and kissing her: There.

Ruby, laughing: I didn’t think you’d actually do it!

Cinder, shrugging: You asked.

Weiss, laughing: Oh my gods, you really have come a long way, Cinder.

Ruby, still laughing as she rolled over and sat up: Yeah, I mean…no offense, but you were a jerk when we first met.

Cinder, sighing and nodding: Yeah, I know. I was still a moody kid who thought the whole world was against me. But… *gestures at Ruby and Weiss* I’m glad I have friends like you two and the others. It made me realize a lot of new things about myself, and…yeah, I’m way happier now. *chuckles* I mean, I just took a shower with two other people and I didn’t worry about either of you seeing my scars for even a second. *rubs her shoulder* It’s pretty amazing, honestly. Never thought I’d be this happy and comfortable around others.

Ruby: Aww. *hops off the bed and hugs her* All you needed was friendship, huh?

Cinder, blushing: Well when you say it like that, it sounds corny. *wraps her arm around her* But yeah, having friends is pretty cool. Or…girlfriends. I still haven’t figured all of it out.

Weiss: None of us have. *walks over and gingerly hugs Cinder* But we’re glad you’re a part of it, even if you’re kind of a gremlin.

Cinder, nodding confidently: I can accept that. *kisses them both on the forehead* I’m glad to be a part of it, too.

[deniigi]

anyways the discord has fucked me up 6 ways to hell.

Have some Sam/Ned/Peter/Johnny/MJ

Because we couldn’t pick a ship and we discovered Sam/Ned, and now we’re all devastated by it.

Title: Anenome’s an Enemy

Summary: The polycule welcomes Sam into its ranks.

Notes: So the polycule consists of Ned, Peter and MJ who are all romantically involved and established. Peter is also in an on/off relationship with Johnny, but Johnny is just friends with Ned and MJ. Oh. And these are Inimitable Verse characters.

--

It started with Ned and MJ reading the texts from the groupchat in order to psychoanalyze Peter’s teammates.

This was not new.

Peter let them read the bullshit fairly regularly. It was only fair that they got to see what he was giggling about.

What was new was Ned asking who BT was.

Peter had thought that they’d met at Matt and Foggy’s wedding, but Ned couldn’t remember Sam being there, and, to be fair, Peter had noticed that Sam had an extraordinary ability to blend himself into the background when there were multiple people having a conversation.

MJ barely remembered Sam, too, for that reason precisely, so Peter asked Sam if he could send a selfie ‘for the home team to admire.’

Sam said that he wasn’t comfortable with that.

It was super surprising.

Peter apologized for asking and Sam waved it off, saying that he just didn’t know how to take selfies for anyone besides his sister and friends and he just didn’t want to screw it up. Which was code for ‘I am actually really fucking uncomfortable with this whole thing; please don’t ask me why I’m saying no.’

Peter dropped it.

MJ didn’t forget about it, though, and so he had to explain that Blindspot was a little camera shy.

Ha.

Get it?

Because Blindspot?

Ned told him that it was kind of weird that Sam didn’t want to take a picture for him when he was cool taking them for his other friends; MJ said that it was probably because he didn’t want her and Ned to see his face and Ned relented a little bit.

“We’ve already met him, though?” he pointed out. “Surely that was worse in this scenario?”

Well. In Sam’s world, it was probably better, actually, Peter thought. In real life, he could smile and duck out of sight and stay out of range. A picture was forever.

“He’s probably got a reason,” MJ continued. “Or his folks were probably those ‘put it on the internet and it never goes away’ types.”

Uh.

Probably?

“I think,” Peter said quietly, because he didn’t actually know—because Sam never actually said the words out loud—“That he might be undocumented?”

He got two sets of eyes his way immediately.

“Oh,” Ned said. “That’s completely understandable then.”

“Yikes,” MJ said. “Does he need help? I’ve got some stuff saved if he needs legal stuff.”

No. No, Peter thought that Sam probably knew more about his situation than any of them did. He knew what kind of help he needed and he might take offense at links or brochures passed his way, so he shrugged and told the others that Sam probably had the situation under control.

The other two dropped the subject after saying that the next time Sam was in the area, they should all get dinner or something.

Peter extended this invite to Sam and got back a simple ‘thanks 🙂’.

Sam didn’t talk to him for the rest of the week.

 --

 At about week two of radio silence in the chat and in personal texts, Peter asked Matt if he’d overstepped.

Matt didn’t answer the question. What he said was that, as far as he could tell, Sam was okay at work and in their training. He noted that Sam went through cycles of being very open and chatty and then withdrawing into himself for days and weeks at a time. He left it at that.

He didn’t say ‘he has been violently reminded about all the shit he can’t do and is protecting himself from you and your ilk.’

He didn’t say that.

But Peter still felt it.

 --

 SM: hey BT, hope you’re okay. Didn’t mean to overstep the other day. Sorry about that. Let me know if you need anything.

BT: I’m okay

BT: I’ll let you know.

BT: ❤

 --

 MJ told Peter that he was blowing things out of proportion.

“If Matt says he goes through cycles, then he goes through cycles, Peter,” She scolded. “Matt can’t lie for shit. Not about people he cares about.”

…Right.

But what if—

What if—

“I just feel like shit because I don’t know how to make him feel better,” Peter admitted. “I feel like I broke his trust or something.”

“He’s not not talking to you,” MJ said. “He’s just not info-dumping. And you don’t know his life, it might not have been you making him feel bad. The world doesn’t revolve around you and your mistakes, you know.”

Right, right.

Yeah, he knew.

 --

 PP: hey matt did I fuck up?

MM: ?

PP: I think I fucked up. can you tell Sam I’m really really sorry?

MM: Sammy’s fine?

MM: He’s discovered jalapeño Cheetos and he and foggy are making my life hell.

MM: they’re both very cheerful right now.

MM: did something happen?

PP: I think so? I asked him for a picture a while ago for Ned and MJ and he hasn’t spoken to me in 2 weeks. I mean like really spoken. I said sorry but I’m not getting back more than 5 word responses

MM: ah

MM: he’s okay Peter

PP: is he really tho??

MM: lol

MM: yeah buddy he’s okay

PP: what is ‘lol???’

MM: lol

PP: Matt.

MM: I’m a confidante I cannot say. But it is very cute.

PP: ????

PP: Matt I’m spiraling

PP: can you just like tell me I haven’t single handedly ruined our friendship?

MM: HA

PP: MATT

MM: no can do. You’ll have to ask him, friend.

PP: god when did you turn into such a dad?

MM: when I got all these fuckin kids I didn’t ask for. Fuck off squirt

PP: I hate you too

MM: ❤

 --

 Johnny held Peter’s face between two palms and told him he was being a dramatic piece of shit and it was Johnny’s turn this month.

Johnny was offended.

Peter made sad sounds at him until he relented and agreed to come sit at the table with MJ to psychoanalyze all Peter’s Bad Friend behaviors.

Johnny did not like to sit at the table with MJ, mostly because MJ kept stabbing him with her eyes, but he came along and gave Ned a big hug in the doorway.

MJ stabbed him with her eyes for that, too.

Johnny paged through the texts Peter had screenshotted and printed out and tossed on the table with a collection of pens and after a while, blinked once and jerked his head up suddenly to stare into MJ’s eyes.

MJ glared at him languidly.

Peter sat on his hands, all highlighters and pen privileges having been revoked after the second guilt spiral two minutes ago, and looked between them, back and forth.

They said nothing to him.

They spoke only in narrowing eyes and squirming eyebrows.

Peter hated when they did shit like this.

“Peter,” MJ finally said after a good three minutes of awkward silence. “When you went back west to stay with Matt and Fogs, where did you stay?”

Where?

Well, their house?

“Where in their house?” MJ asked like she already knew the answer. She tangled a hand into her hair in exasperation. Johnny brought both hands up to his face to hide a huge smile.

Wh—

Where?

In the house?

Well, Angel and Louis had taken the couch and Ellie and Wade had been in the guest bedroom, so he’d stayed in Sam’s room with him.

Ned sighed loudly from the couch. His typing slowed down as he slouched lower and lower into the cushions.

Peter didn’t get it.

Why was everyone staring at him?

“Buddy,” Johnny said kindly. “You’re so fucking stupid, you make me look smart.”

“You are smart,” Peter said. “Why am I stupid?”

MJ held out her hand for his phone. He gave it to her without question.

 --

 PP: hey matt its MJ.

PP: does Sam have a crush on Peter?

MM: I don’t know MJ, does he?

 --

 MJ held the phone up to Peter’s face while Johnny shriek-giggled into his palms.

Peter felt a little like jelly.

All wobbly and shit.

“He likes me?” he blurted out.

MJ blinked slowly. Johnny pounded a fist against the table, wheezing.

“He thinks you want a picture for your friends,” he said. “He thinks you’ve friendzoned him. Oh my god. Peter.”

WHAT WHAT WHAT

“Give me that,” Peter said, snatching his phone.

 --

 PP: matt this is peter this is not a drill

PP: he likes me??? Like likes-likes? Or just likes?

MM: why do you children keep asking me stupid questions?

MM: ask each other stupid questions

 --

 No.

“What do I do?” Peter asked the other two.

Johnny hummed and poked at his chin. MJ leaned over towards the couch with an outstretched hand. Ned took it in a show of moral support.

Once she’d powered back up, MJ turned back to Peter with infinite patience.

“Do you like him too?” she asked.

Did he—did he like Sam?

Well, obviously he liked Sam. Sam was funny and brilliant and always down to get in a bit of trouble. He was sensitive to others and he picked himself back up every time shit hit him.

He was warm.

His energy was warm. And welcoming. And he seemed to constantly be fighting that.

But he was Matt’s. Not in that way.

Like, he was Matt’s apprentice. Functionally, he was Matt’s apprentice, but actually, even back when Peter had just met him, he’d known that Sam was more than that to Matt.

Sam denied it. Matt denied it. But they were very, very close. Closer than Peter had been allowed to be with Matt.

Matt would fight to the death for Peter, Peter knew this; there had been a few close calls over the years. But Matt gave off this weird vibe with Sam.

It was a buzz. Peter felt it low in his neck. Humming.

The Spidey Sense didn’t like Matt being behind him when Peter was with Sam. It thought he was a threat.

And that? That was not normal. Matt had stood behind Peter for more than a decade and never, not once, had the Spidey Sense reacted that way to him.

Peter had told Wade about it and Wade’s eyes had softened. He’d clasped Peter’s shoulder and said that he was ‘touched as hell,’ which Peter didn’t understand at first.

He kind of got it more now.

Sam was Matt’s. What he was exactly wasn’t super clear. But Matt was willing and ready not just to die, but potentially to torture, for Sam and he didn’t fucking like anyone being too close to him—especially not another vigilante.

Sam was off limits.

Touch him and suffer the consequences.

That message was loud and clear.

So even if Peter thought that Sam was warm and brilliant and so easy to sink into, it didn’t matter.

Johnny and MJ and Ned considered this by drumming fingers on noses and chins and making humming sounds.

“Red seems okay with BT having a crush on you, though?” Johnny said. “He’s joking about it, after all. Maybe he just doesn’t want you to make the first move? You do kind of have a track record, Peter.”

That made a lot of sense actually.

“So what, I have to wait for Sam to say something or to get over me?” Peter asked.

“Pretty much,” MJ said. “Unless anyone else has a better idea?”

No one did.

Man, bummer.

 --

 Sam came back into contact a few days later like nothing had happened. He was concerned about definitions of seals. He needed people to help him work through them. Evidently, Matt, Foggy, and Kirsten hadn’t done the job.

Matt said nothing about no one, which was infuriating as always.

And so it went.

 --

 BT: heyyyyyyyyyyyyy peter

SM: lol hey you what’s up?

BT: m drunk

SM: oh word?

BT: Leilani told me no to taext no one butttttt I hate meself so here we are

SM: Leilani?

BT: fremd

SM: dude red said you finish all your girlfriends drinks?

BT: is my scared duty

BT: scared

BT: sacred

SM: sam you’re like 140 pounds

BT: 😘

SM: okay sure I’m proud of you. how many did you chug

BT: hey teach says that you’re a people eater is that true?

SM: people eater? No. I am spider

BT: hello spider I am dog

SM: ASDF:SAfasFDf

BT: no like he says that you go through people a lot

SM: I have a lot of exes

BT: oh neat

BT: I have none exes

SM: what?? Really??

BT: rly

SM: have you ever dated someone?

BT: I don’t date

BT: fuck em and leave em

SM: oh

SM: does that work for you?

BT: easy

SM: wow okay

BT: I don’t want to be your ex. Can we just fuck and say notging about it?

BT: nothing

BT: like it doesn’t have to matter

BT: donst have to go anwhere

SM: yeah. I’m down with that, I guess?

BT: !!!!

SM: I mean if you are. Next time we’re in the same area we can do smth

BT: nice

BT: I think Imma puke

SM: uh?? Don’t puke in bed

SM: BT?

SM: Sam?

BT: did not we’re good hey thanks

BT: that’s cool of you.

BT: I promise Ima a good lay ❤

SM: you could be more than that too, you know?

BT: Good night!!!

 --

 MJ held her face as Peter straddled her hips with his phone two inches from her nose.  

Ned snickered.

“Help me,” MJ begged of him.

He shook his head. Peter shook his phone.

“Friend,” he said.

“Fuckbuddy,” MJ told him. “Don’t fall in love with him, Peter.”

Too fuckin’ late, babe.

Ned started shaking with laughter.

 --

 Once.

It happened once.

Kirsten was in New York for reasons. She brought backup in the form of Sam and some of his coworkers. They were on a 3 day mission, then Sam was catching a train to go help Clint out with a case down in Florida on Matt’s request.

Three days was plenty of time to get up to some shenanigans.

And Sam’s sides were tight. Strong.

Weirdly flexible?

“You’re great,” Sam told him immediately after their ‘shenanigans.’ “I’m leaving.”

Woah, woah, woah, there cowboy.

What’s the rush?

Sam, already back in his black hoodie, blinked owlishly and then squinted.

“Is this not how this works?” he asked.

Uuuuuuuh.

No?

“Stay,” Peter told him, pulling at his sweater. “Have dinner with me and my partners. They want to meet you.”

Sam smiled at him.

It was a bitter one.

“I’ve gotta jet, Pete,” he said. “For real. Thanks, though. Tell them I said hi.”

When he left Peter felt a little like slamming his hand against the bedside table. But that would shatter the bedside table, so he laid back and let the self-loathing begin.

 --

 Johnny thought that Sam was maybe a little insecure and so Peter should chill the fuck out.

“He’s probably never been with a polyamorous person,” he told Peter. “He might be trying to respect MJ and Ned.”

That made sense.

Too much sense.

“And anyways, your agreement was ‘fuck and leave,’” Johnny said. “If you want more than that you’re gonna have to—”

Don’t say it.

“You’re gonna have to—”

Stop singing.

“You’re gonna have to communicate, boo-bear.”

Fuck off.

No words. Only unrequited feelings and misery.

Johnny laughed.

“You’re a mess,” he said.

Whatever.

 --

 Okay, but once is happenstance, twice is a coincidence, and three times is a pattern, no?

Matt sent a text to Peter that said simply ‘I will end you.’

That was basically proof, right?

That was Matt’s shovel talk, right??

MJ and Ned stared at him in horror.

“I think, Peter,” MJ said, “This is a warning.”

Yeah, a shovel talk. Peter had been through infinite shovel talks.

“Maybe you should talk to BT,” MJ said.

“Rephrasing that,” Ned said. “You should definitely talk to BT.”

Okay, fine.

 --

 SM: hey sam

SM: what are we doing, man?

SM: Matt’s threatening to end me

BT: ignore him he’s got zero right

SM: are you sure?

BT: I thought we weren’t talking about this

SM: I kinda want to talk about it?

BT: 🙂 I don’t

SM: oh

SM: sorry

SM: I thought that maybe there was just something more there?

BT: there isn’t. Sorry Peter.

SM: …are you sure?

BT: yes

SM: you’re kind of not giving me confidence that you’re sure, sam. Not enough emojis.

BT: I don’t want to talk

BT: thanks for trying tho!

BT: it means a lot ❤

SM: is it okay if I talk then?

BT: I will not stop you

SM: okay great because I’m kinda? Falling? For you?

SM: like you’re really cute? And funny? And insanely smart and really nice and super good at everything you do? And you have your ideals and you don’t waver?

SM: and idk if you know anything about me or my people that that’s uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh

SM: how to say

SM: my type

BT: I’m not a type 🙂

SM: no, obviously you’re a person. And I just.

SM: I’ve got love disease

BT: don’t say that word

SM: okay?

SM: are you uncomfortable?

BT: yes

BT: profoundly

SM: okay sorry I’ll stop

BT: peter I like you but I can’t be anything more to you

SM: ?? Why not??

BT: why not????

BT: because DD is my teacher, okay?? And you’re his mentee/brother/teammate whatever.

BT: and I’m not ruining what I have with him because I can’t control my fucking emotions.

BT: this is my shot.

BT: I only have one.

BT: and you’re great. You’re amazing. But I can’t throw it away.

SM: oh

SM: no yeah. That’s fair.

SM: sorry I didn’t mean to push

BT: its fine

SM: is that why you don’t date?

BT: I don’t date because no one cares.

SM: sam that’s not true

BT: can we just? Not?

SM: no? On this thing? No? People care about you? And they would be lucky to have you if you wanted them?

BT: I don’t want them

SM: are you aro?

BT: idk what that means

SM: Aromantic? You don’t feel romantic attraction?

BT: I still don’t know what that means

SM: okay well if you are, then that’s totally cool just so you know.

BT: I’m sorry

SM: don’t be sorry, you’re fine. I was the one pushing.

BT: no this is how it always goes. I’m sorry. I’m just gonna step back if that’s okay

SM: ? you don’t have to. Lol. If you think a rejection is the kind of thing to put a dent in my relationships with people, you got another thing coming pal.

BT: I didn’t mean it like that

SM: it’s okay if you did

SM: but sam you also know that it’s okay to be known a little bit, right?

BT: its not.

 --

 Hhhhhhhhhhng.

“Peter,” Ned said. “Bud, look at me.”

Peter did--with maximum misery.

“I love you,” Ned said. “You are cornering this guy.”

FFFFFFFFfffffffffffffffffuck.

“I’m never texting again,” Peter said.

“Bro, chill,” Ned said. “He likes you, okay? He literally said that. And he also said that he doesn’t want to fuck things up with his teacher. We know that Matt’s polyamorous. We know that he gets it. But does BT know that? Have they actually talked about this kind of thing? Hell no. Matt won’t talk to Foggy about romantic shit, why would he talk to BT about it?”

Fffffffffffffffffffffair point.

“Dramatic,” Ned scolded. “Here, let me try.”

Beg your pardon, sir?

“I just want to calm him down,” Ned said. “You know, apologize for my idiot’s pressure.”

Ah.

Right.

Phone’s all yours then.

 --

 PP: hi BT, this is Ned. I’m peter’s bf.

PP: listen man I just want to say that you’re completely fine. Don’t worry about this stuff too much. Me and MJ don’t mind you two hanging out and doing stuff. We’ve already talked through a lot of this for another guy.

PP: but also like, if you like Peter, that’s okay? He’s infuriatingly likeable. I know, I’ve been here since 3rd grade. If that feels weird to you, though, it might help if you talked to Matt about Kirsten and how they came to be.

PP: it’s okay

PP: whatever you decide, I promise: it’s okay. And you seem super nice and you make my partner really happy (fuckin dopey tbh) so if you ever just want to come and chill, that’s totally good. We’d like to meet you at some point, but no pressure if that makes you uncomfortable.

PP: I’ll be honest, BT, I don’t know much about you.

PP: MJ’s started following you on twitter tho and she says youre funny af. So if you want to join the nerdcrowd over here (unless you’re startrek trash) you’ll always be welcome to our place.

PP: anyways sorry that Peter’s Like That™

PP: he never learned how to quit

PP: hope you get a moment to chill and process dude. –Ned

Read 12:24

BT: are you sure?

PP: oh hey. About what?

BT: all of it?

PP: yeah man I’m sure. MJ is too, she’s just on Peter-beating duty rn so she can’t come to the phone

BT: ok

PP: hey are you shy?

BT: what? No. why do you ask?

PP: no reason. you just seem a little shy.

BT: ☹

PP: lol

PP: you okay?

BT: yes

PP: you want to process?

BT: no

PP: have you already processed?

BT: how do you know that?

PP: because you’re shy and I used to be more shy so you probably either talked it out to yourself or you called your mom or bff or something

BT: I don’t have

BT: sry yeah I talked it out with foggy

PP: you don’t have a mom?

BT: …or a bff. But there is foggy. He’s been helpful.

PP: dude how do you not have a bff? You need a bff

BT: I have plenty of friends ☹

PP: but no bff

BT: AND a sister

PP: but no bff

BT: I COULD have a bff. I just choose not to. For style.

PP: lolololol

PP: peter’s right you’re cute. Okay I’ve gotta give him back his phone before he implodes. Nice talking to you.

BT: okay byeee

 --

Peter straddled Ned and held the phone two inches from his face.

This was witchcraft.

Dark magic.

The least he could do was share.

“I literally just took the pressure off, dude, I don’t know what’s hard about this,” Ned said while MJ watched them over the back of the couch like a cat.

“Teach me your ways, sorcerer,” Peter said.

Ned grabbed his elbow.

“You will never attain my power,” he said.

Peter dropped his full weight on top of him.

 --

 Sam came around eventually.

Peter’s heart fucking stopped. Johnny clapped for him when the text came in that said, ‘DD says he doesn’t mind and he’s already doled out threats. So? Do you maybe want to start over?’

Peter screamed.

Johnny took his phone from him and let him scream better.

“I want to seeeee,” Johnny hummed. “Give us a picture, Blindspot. Are you a little hottie?”

“Shortie,” Peter whimpered.

The phone went down and Johnny’s head came up.

“That’s deadly,” he said.

“I know,” Peter told him.

 --

 Sam was…how to say.

Light touch.

Skittish.

Not good with even the slightest bit of pressure.

Peter hadn’t realized how much of a front he put up in front of other people until he tried to get him talking about shit that mattered and only then did he fully realize the extent to which Sam was exactly like Matt.

Trying to steer him towards emotions and negotiation and heartfelt discussion was like telling a fish that it could only swim one direction.

Sam’s reaction in every case was ‘okay that’s fine, let’s never mention this again--also I’m not going to do that; you just do what you want to me and I’ll figure everything else out on my own.’

Mind boggling.

Zero skills in that department.

Ned thought it was absolutely adorable.

MJ thought it was funny as fuck.

“Matt is useless,” Peter told them. “Absolutely useless. He’s done this shit for twenty fucking years and he’s just letting Sam work it out on his own?”

“Maybe that’s his teaching method?” Ned pointed out.

No, it absolutely was his teaching method. But that was the problem.

Fuck.

“Sam,” Peter said on the phone a while later, “Listen, buddy. I recognize that you are allergic to feelings, but this is what we have to do to get what we want.”

Sam hung up.

Dude.

“Threatened,” Ned said. “Come on. Gimme.”

 --

 Ned accused Peter of not telling him that Sam was Chinese. Peter told him that Sam’s twitter was literally half-written in Chinese.

Ned accused MJ of not telling him that Sam was Chinese and MJ said simply ‘my bad’ and got away with that shit, like she always did.

Unbelievable.

Johnny asked if Sam was interested in a superhero-sandwich and Peter got to take his aggression out on his pressure points.

Still, though, Peter was kind of glad that Ned was leading the charge on this. Firstly, because Ned so rarely stepped into these things with authority and it was really warming and lovely to see him so interested in bringing another person into their polycule. And secondly because Ned had the lightest touch of them all.

Peter, MJ, and Johnny were all helmet heads wielding hammers. The only thing keeping them from self-destruction were all the YIELD signs they’d set around their circle.

Ned typically just waded in between them all to tug Peter and MJ out of the battlezone and into a semblance of humanity.

So it was nice—no, it was cute that Ned was developing a little crush on Sam.

MJ thought so, too.

“I do love fresh meat to tenderize,” she said.

Peter stared.

“That is not the vibe we’re going for,” he reminded her.

MJ waved him off.  

 --

 “Peter.”

What’d he do now?

Ned held the phone seriously out to him.

“Tell Sam I want a picture of him to put on the wall next to my mirror,” he said.

Peter blinked.

“That’s creepy, dude,” he said.

“It will make him laugh and he’s still not comfortable sharing yet,” Ned said. “But he trusts you more than me.”

Ah.

Right.

Okay sure.

Peter texted.

Sam sent back only eye emojis.

Ah.

“So,” Peter said while Ned tapped a foot impatiently on the kitchen linoleum. “There’s something you should know.”

Ned cocked his head at him.

 --

 “Dude,” MJ said. “That’s wild.”

Sam’s eyes were, uh, how to say.

Inhuman.

Johnny shrieked, took the phone and climbed into Peter’s lap.

“He’s so cute, Peter, bring him home, I’ll be so nice,” he pleaded.

Johnny was not the one who was going to need reminders to be nice.

“How does he see?” Ned asked.

Uhhhhhhh.

Oh, you know…

Not well.

Johnny lowered the phone.

“He’s blind?” he asked.

“Not blind,” Peter said. “But low vision.”

The room seemed to go quiet for a minute.

“Is Matt his—”

“No,” Peter sighed.

“Are you sure?” MJ asked. “These coincidences are stacking.”

“No,” Peter repeated. “His dad’s Chinese. He was born in Fuzhou, I think.”

“Oh,” MJ said.

“So he can’t see very well,” Ned repeated.

“He does okay in daytime,” Peter said. “And he does best with high contrast. But like, pictures can be hard sometimes if they’re too light or too dark. He doesn’t really ask for much help, but he and Matt kinda puzzle over stuff if you’re not careful. And if you’re extra not careful, they’ll make their own memes and they’ll be full of blind jokes.”

The room held still for another moment.

“Okay, so what do we need to do?” Ned asked.

 --

 The first time the others met Sam, Peter had to chase him down the hall and even then, it was only via Matt’s aid that he was placed back in Peter’s apartment.

Matt pointed a finger at Sam’s eye and told him that he was to stay ‘right fuckin here’ until he was done at the courthouse.

“Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars,” Matt said as Sam tried and failed to bite that finger. “I want an intact paralegal by the end of this trip, and I will not have an intact paralegal if you go around gettin’ noticed by the fuckin’ Irish, yes?”

“I can take ‘em,” Sam said.

Matt sneered.

“I don’t know why I bother,” he said. “Stay. Those are orders.”

“Fuck your orders,” Sam shot back at him, to the horror of everyone else in the room.

“Yeah, yeah, ‘fuck your orders,’ whatever,” Matt said. “Stay put.”

Sam bared his teeth after him.

Only when the door closed, did he finally give notice that other people were in the room. Johnny lit up.

“You’re short and angry,” he said.

Sam rounded on him.

 --

 MJ loved Sam now.

MJ told everyone else to get out, Sam was the only person who mattered.

Johnny thought that Matt needed to come back and take his rabid dog with him. Sam told him to stay out of his face and they wouldn’t have any more problems, but, seeing as Johnny was incapable of not adding fuel to fire, Peter kept him behind himself for the time being.

Ned was probably the person in the most shock of Sam, however.

Peter forgot how Sam came off to other people.

Very unassuming. Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. His prosthetics hid his black sclera, and even if he did tend to lift his face towards the light more often than other people, he did it so subtly, you’d think he was nodding along to a tune in his head.

Sam looked like your friend.

Your neighbor. Your classmate. The one with the baby face, you know.

His hair was getting longer, Peter noticed. He pointed it out and Sam softened enough to tell him that he was going for something a little more hipster.

“If I let it keep going, it’ll start swooping,” he told Peter. “The swoop is very in right now, Peter.”

Peter believed him.

He had no idea what that meant. But he believed him.

“You know what’s not in?” Johnny asked. “Friendly fire.”

Sad sneered at him.

“I ain’t know you from Adam,” he snapped.

Ned lifted a fist to his face in a sign that Peter recognized well and it took everything in him not to smirk and start teasing.

“Okay, let’s start over,” Peter said. “Sam, these are my friends, or, uh. Our polycule, if you will.”

He had Sam’s attention now.

“Polycule?” he asked.

Indeed.

“’Cause it’s shaped like a molecule,” MJ said. “And everyone here is also a nerd.”

Sam looked at her.

“You’re MJ,” he said.

“You’re Blindspot,” MJ said. “What makes you blind?”

“The trauma,” Sam said without missing a beat.

Peter waved Johnny off and set his hands on Sam’s shoulders.

“Sam’s made an invisibility suit,” he said.

He had everyone’s attention now.

“You did what?” Ned said.

Sam blinked and then shrugged a shoulder.

“What, like it’s hard?” he asked.

Oh yeah.

He was gonna fit in fine.

[cynthiaandsamus]

Custom Toonami Block Week 78 Rundown

Code Geass: Lelouch finally confronts Charles in the Human Instrumentality Elevator but before his laser Geass bullshit can kill him, he steals C.C.’s Code and becomes immortal. Now that Charles is at the highest Geass level, C.C. like “Oh yes Imperialist Daddy kill me cause Lelouch is too chicken to” because she wanted an out for her immortality all along. But she’s been saving Lelouch this whole time and didn’t force the Code on him like was done to her so she clearly has a soft spot for him. Also Viletta and Sayoko are having a ninja fight over Ohgi and Nia’s developing nukes or some shit. Ironically now that we finally know who C.C. is, she’s lost her own memories so her character is always incomplete. But Lelouch has busted up the Thought Elevator and Charles is stuck there so showdown postponed I guess.

Inuyasha: Naraku continues his plan to cover Sesshomaru in his goo and take him inside himself… not gonna bother rephrasing that. But he gets jumped by Inuyasha’s barrier breaking powers and absolutely wrecked by both of them once Inuyasha inadvertently saves Sesshomaru. Ironically Inuyasha’s able to stop himself being absorbed while Sesshomaru isn’t, implying he’s stronger at this point but who knows. Anyway Naraku just kinda rockets away on a poison cloud and Sesshomaru’s about to turn full doggo and chase him but the writers remember we’re never allowed to see full demon Sesshomaru again until he regains his arm and Naraku tells him “Hey yo Rin’s about to get murdered, better go take care of that instead of finishing the series now” and Sesshomaru’s out of bluffs pretending he doesn’t care. Everyone realizes if Sesshomaru catches Kohaku killing Rin or about to kill Rin he’ll straight up murder Kohaku which is exactly the level of head-fuckery Naraku wants. They stop Kohaku from killing Rin but he keeps attacking Sesshomaru and Sesshomaru’s like “Oh, you WANT to die, well tough shit buddy, I’m not in an accommodating mood today so you live mother fucker” because even he realizes Naraku wants him to murder Kohaku for some reason. It’s interesting to see him spare a human out of spite but also kind of take pity on Kohaku, his tolerance for humans is slowly but surely growing.

Yu Yu Hakusho: Well we’re on the boat to the Dark Tournament, aka the first episode of Hunter x Hunter, and the totally not Genkai Masked Man uses the move Genkai taught Yusuke to wipe out all the competition, wonder who they could be. Like even Kuwabara’s guessing it’s Genkai at this point, we have no excuse. Anyway the other demons get pissed at the loss and everyone has to murder them all to be let through, including one dude Yusuke kills while still sleeping off his training hangover. We meet two of the first team they’ll be facing and it’s standard “Grr rawr, we’ll crush you” shit from a little boy and an Buttrock Band singer. Also Keiko and Shizuru are on the way to the tournament courtesy of Botan and Yusuke’s mom is left at home for no reason despite being in the arc in the manga, we just couldn’t handle more Milf Urameshi action.

Fate Zero: This is basically a summary episode, we have Kirei/Gilgamesh and Kiritsugu summing up where we’re at right now with the war and who’s involved. Kirei doesn’t have any more ninjas so he’s out but the Grail’s like “Nuh-uh, get back in here loser” and gives him Command Seals back even though he doesn’t have a Servant to use them on. Gilgamesh is all “What if we teamed up? Haha, just kidding… unless?” And weirdly enough Kirei is kinda into the soap opera bullshit going on with Kariya trying to save Sakura and being turned into a mummy for it. He’s like “what kind of fucked up person would like seeing a man being eaten from the inside out to save a child in vain?” Gilgamesh is all “Joke’s on you, we’re into that shit”. Also Iris is dying or something so they move into Shirou’s home and Saber ironically makes the transmutation circle in the shed that Shirou will bleed on later and summon her in UBW, guess it makes more sense why Shirou lives in a bullshit dojo house now that we know it was a originally a mage base fortress to harbor his girlfriend and Stepmom’s forbidden lesbian affair.

Konosuba: We kick of Season 2 with everyone throwing Kazuma under the bus for him to go to jail and then Aqua showing her whole damn ass during her pathetic breakout attempts. Then we shift Ace Attorney/Chrono Trigger mode and get a recap of all the shit Kazuma’s done over the past season. It’s kinda funny people don’t really know how to feel about him because he is a scumbag but he’s a net positive for the community. He eventually uses his lie detector skills to clear himself but because this is a kangaroo court he get found guilty anyway. But SINCE it’s a kangaroo court Darkness is able to use her own even higher levels of royal bullshittery to void the verdict and delay the case until Kazuma can prove he’s a harmless scumbag instead of a traitor. And they lose Darkness and get all their shit taken. Like I get that’s the nature of the show and the main joke but I kinda wish we’d get more story stuff or have them thrown a bone every once in a while, not a huge fan of shows like Marrier with Children or Everybody Hates Chris where you know shit’s just gonna fall apart in the end somehow, it makes it hard to care. Like this isn’t THAT bad about it but I just wish we’d get a few more serious/wholesome moments thrown in because everything else is just a fakeout.

Sailor Moon Crystal: So we’re getting close to the end of the season here and Beryl’s here and Mamoru just kinda… watches as she fights the Sailor Guardians in an alternate dimension because apparently Ami can just do that, like aside from their signature attacks I feel like the limits on what the Sailor Guardians can and can’t do are very vague, seems to be a problem with a lot of shojo action at the time since powers are more focused on emotion and it just ends up being “I can do whatever I feel like”. Anyway they summon the Meteor Sword from Avatar and cut off Beryl’s power necklace and she just kind of… dies for some reason? Like she was a reincarnated human just like everyone else but she just kinda melts after her necklace is chopped off like she’s been alive a thousand years. But yeah, possessed Tuxedo mask has the crystal and the sword and apparently the sword is the key even though we only started hearing about it like three episodes ago. Usagi follows him to Antarctica or whatever and the Sailor Guardians just… fly there, see this is what I mean apparently they could fly the whole time and just never did? They fight the Four Kings and reawaken their memories but Metalia blasts them away in seconds which if she could do that to the people that were kicking the Sailor Guardians’ asses five seconds ago couldn’t she just do it to them too? Anyway the girls’ former boyfriends are dead and that’s sad I guess even though I don’t think we ever really established which one was dating who so idk if it matters unless they’re all one big polycule. Usagi tries her bullshit fixer beam power and it doesn’t work so her next solution is just stab everyone and sort it out later, not a bad plan honestly, she cuts down Mamoru and then herself and is like ah fuck it, the end.

Durarara!!: The Saika arc concludes and we get Anri fucking up Haruna while Shizuo pounds the whole town in the park with his new demon gloves. But basically because Anri is a little ball of dissociation and trauma more than a person she’s a perfect host for a sword that’s yandere for the whole human race, the void contains the explosion and all that shit. However now that there’s been a Saika riot but Mikado and Masaomi are scared and mobilizing the Dollars and Yellow Scarves (also oh yeah Masaomi is the leader of the Yellow Scarves but you should know that already) to fight Saika to protect Anri except Saika IS Anri and Izaya’s just having fun stirring the pot and Anri’s the only one who knows he’s behind it because turns out when you have a hundred peoples’ memories swimming in your head it kinda helps you piece shit together.

[secretsfromwholecloth]

Deadfire, day 10.

It’s a little odd to hear Edér in the DLCs occasionally address the Watcher as “Watcher”. I don’t remember him doing that much if at all before.

I don’t know why I didn’t get the quest to fetch the Titan’s Heart at the same time as all the others, but I guess I’m taking an extra trip back to Neketaka. Well, if there’s any way to get the thing without being caught stealing and having to murder everyone in Wakoyo’s office, this is the playthrough to discover it.

Answer: I thought there wasn’t and I would just have to get murdering, but then I stole the thing and didn’t get caught? Huh. I’ll take it!

Either rogues are ridiculously powerful or I’m getting less bad at the combat in this game, because so far the fights I was afraid of and kicked down the difficulty for have been hilariously, “maybe I ought to try them on Relaxed next time” easy. Mind, I’ll probably regret all my life choices if I actually do that.

So, stick around to level up people’s soulbound gear a bit more? Yeah, I think so. Nice of the game to make all the arena fights repeatable.

This is the first playthrough where I bothered using traps, so I only just now got the achievement for using five of them. Which is the last one I’m ever likely to get, looking at what’s left.

Either Edér is impervious to just about everything or I’m picking the wrong fights, because his shield needs him to get hit with afflictions to level up, and it’s not going very quickly.

All right, Anlaf and Konstanten are done with their pieces, and Edér will have plenty more opportunities. Time to pack it in and get started on The Forgotten Sanctum.

If you heard a faint squeeing noise just now, that was me.

Sadly for me, with a Watcher with no support abilities, I can’t bring both Rekke and Aloth along; one of them will have to cede their spot to a healer. So which will it be? Neither is the star of the DLC, but they both got a lot of love from it; Aloth got a lot of attention in the early and mid-game but hasn’t been in the party for a while now, whereas I just had Rekke along for much of BoW and all of SSS, but that was the first time I actually used him. You know what, I think I’ll keep Rekke, and our new and improved ranged-weapon-using Xoti can be the healer. I don’t think I’ve ever brought her along for TFS—even Oriol tore himself from her side to get Rekke, Fassina, and Aloth into the party.

Grinning all through Tayn’s introductory conversation, as usual. I like Tayn. He’s the same kind of fuckup I am, just slightly less of one.

Oh gods, the drug trip. Edér and Rekke’s lines are classic, but I do wish Fassina had something to say for herself there.

I’d say Tayn and Edér need to be friends, but no, they absolutely do not need to be friends. There’s no way that ends well for Eora.

Is...oh no. Xoti? Are you starting a screaming argument with Edér? Is that what this is?

Oh. No, this isn’t a screaming argument, this is something entirely different. Xoti, you said you were over him. Was that a lie to try and get Anlaf into your bunk, or did you get over him and then get un-over him? (There’s a pun in here somewhere about getting under him, but the whole point of this exchange is that she hasn’t and wants to.)

You know, 27-year-old Xoti calling 37-year-old Edér “a little old” is an absolutely valid opinion, but my experience and the norms of my ethnic community right on up to my mother’s generation leave me eyebrowing a bit. (Disclosure: I’m 36 myself, which may or may not be influencing my view of this.)

I’m just going to sit here and have feelings about the presence of the “Hands off. Edér’s mine.” option, though Anlaf certainly won’t be taking that one. (Clelia and Eiheune never got this conversation, but even if they had, that wouldn’t have been their reaction—Clelia would’ve whistled for the rest of the OT4 to witness the possible new addition to the polycule, and Eiheune would’ve shrugged and been like, that’s between you two, I’ll talk to him about it later.)

I’m very bad at portraying romance, yes. But I’m far worse at portraying monogamy.

The “Have you shown him your...charms?” option? No. No, don’t. She’ll actually go and do it. Possibly right here in front of two archmages, three imps, the rest of the party, and a bunch of mysterious tentacles.

Xoti’s story about trying to catch him half-asleep and then get him drunk into the bargain to lower his resistance = XOTI NO. Her getting a couple of approval bumps from Edér for telling it in a jokey way is just the icing on the fucked-up cake here.

And you know, I gave her enough time with Maia that they started throwing up romance banters, so I officially wash my hands of Xoti’s love life.

Anyway. I was heading to the Archives before I got sidetracked, right? Right.

...no, I apparently do not have a sufficiently ridiculous Mechanics score to pick the lock without dispelling the illusion first.

I’ve got some feelings about the note from Galven Regd about how everything we know about the War of Black Trees is a lie.

And some very different feelings about the manual for the flesh construct controller. If there’s one part of this series that’s ripe for kinkshaming, it’s this DLC. :D

I’m letting Rekke knock over all the book piles, because he seems to find it funniest out of everyone in the party. You’re welcome, kiddo.

I’m going to pronounce “Llengrath” with initial /ɬ/ and no one can stop me.

Oh, the mycelium in the Central Stacks. “The fungus shivers at your blow. Possibly in pleasure.” Yep, kinkshaming time.

The only inconvenient thing about giving Xoti a ranged weapon is that she hangs back too far from the front lines for her Circle of Protection to cover the melee squad. Protecting Fassina is better than nothing, but still.

Do you really think I’m not going to lick the runes when given the opportunity?

Sure, Rekke, go ahead and lick them too if you want.

So, Xoti, that Waidwen’s a cutie, isn’t he? The sort you might write erotic fiction about if you were that way inclined? You, uh, wouldn’t know anything about this book here, would you?

I can’t read “A True and Accurate Account of the Ten’s Final Stand” without having it in the back of my mind that Edér was 17 when the Godhammer went off. Seventeen! Imagining him as a skinny kid with only one-third of a clue what he’s doing, becoming Divine King of the Dyrwood or whatever the fuck and going to his death on that bridge...yeesh, it’s painful enough to think about Waidwen, who was at least a grown man when it all went down.

Oh, hello, fungus Llengrath. Ahem. It’s rude to stare, you know. Even if the eyeball falls off and rolls away afterwards.

Fyonlecg, I do enjoy listening to your VA, but you’re being very tedious right now. You and your creepy remote-controlled worm body.

The archmages’ opining on the Hand Occult falls squarely into Does This Remind You Of Anything territory, heh.

I love hearing Concelhaut complaining about everything. And you can’t do a godsdamned thing about any of it, you horrible old skull.

And I’m just going to sit here and have a metric fuckton of feelings about Bekarna, while I’m at it.

And there’ll be more fun stuff in the morning, it’s rather late.

[willdexpoindexter]

A Polycule Hanukkah ft Strip Dreidel

So @sexydexynurse won my 400 Follower Giveaway and requested the following: 

Strip Dreidel, but since there's 4 ways it can land, combine it with spin the bottle, so if it lands on one of the sides, they have to kiss the person it's pointing at. Also, Dex has been demanding the thermostat be kept down, so he's probably wearing a bajillion layers, at a minimum the bi three layer. Is he too smug because of this but is so bad at dreidel he ends up nekkid first? or does he have so many layers that even though he keeps landing poorly, he's still the one with the most clothes? somewhere in between? whatever, just some ideas there. pairing, uh, NurseyDex or PolyFrogs or Holsom. (maybe Dexabull?)

I’m bad at following instructions so they played both at the same time. Lots of makeouts happened. It’s mostly sfw but def rated T for all the makeouts. Nothing explicit though. Hope you like it! 

Read it on ao3

Nursey is incredibly proud of himself for his idea.

“Strip dreidel? Sounds offensive, Nurse.”

“Oy, it’s my culture, and if I wanna use a dreidel to get my partners naked, I will do so.”

Chowder and Farmer exchange a look and Nursey knows it’s about to get so much better.

“What if we added a little spin the bottle? Whoever the top points to you have to kiss,” Farmer adds.

“Before or after the strip?”

“Hmm,” Farmer muses. “After I think.”

“Deal!” Nursey shouts. He grabs Cait and C and drags them to the floor of Chowder’s room. Dex follows begrudgingly.

“Rules,” he states when everyone is seated around a blank space on the floor. He plucks his dreidel from his pocket and holds it up to Nun. “Nun, no strip, just the kiss. If it points at you, everyone else gets to decide who you kiss.”

“We all kiss each other all the time, what’s the point of this?” Dex grumbles.

Chowder smacks him playfully. “It’s fun, Dex, just play along!”

“Exactly. Okay,” Nursey turns the dreidel. “Gimmel, Everyone takes off an article of clothing.”

“Seems fair,” Farmer agrees.

“Hey, you get to pick who takes off something. And Shin, you have to take something off.”

“I’m gonna win this, none of you knows how to dress in layers properly,” Dex says.

“Yes, yes, all hail the three-layer bisexual,” Farmer chirps.

“Four,” Dex grin, pulling aside the top of his flannel to reveal an undershirt.

Nursey looks at Chowder and raises an eyebrow. Chowder nods. They’re gonna get him.

“Youngest goes first, so Dex, your spin,” Nursey holds out the dreidel across the circle.

Dex rolls his eyes but takes the top. He spins it in the center and it lands on nun pointing at Chowder.

“Yes! First Dex kiss!” Chowder cries and crawls practically into Dex’s lap beside him.

“Hey, C,” Dex smiles softly and kisses him softly. Chowder deepens it almost immediately and Farmer whoops.

Nursey lets them have a minute before clearing his throat.

“If we all make out like teenagers we’ll never get naked,” he says when they pull apart.

“But we are teenagers,” Dex says.

“Teenagers who like making out,” Chowder adds.  

Nursey scoffs but smiles. He just really loves his partners, okay?

Chowder takes the dreidel and spins it.

“Shin!” He says, already pulling his shirt off.

Farmer laughs. “Only you would be excited about getting shin!”

Then Chowder follows the line of the dreidel to Nursey and climbs in his lap, too.

Nursey chuckles softly and wraps his arms around him, running his hands up the warm skin of Chowder’s back as they kiss.

When Chowder finally sits back, a blush on his cheeks, Nursey smiles at him and picks up the dreidel.

“Gimmel,” he smiles. “Now we’re getting the party started!”

Cait takes off her sweater to reveal a cami underneath. Dex takes off his jean jacket, leaving him still in a zip-up hoodie, flannel, and shirt. Chowder and Nursey each pull off a sock.

“Lame, Derek,” Cait chirps. “At least Chris took his shirt off first.”

“It’s cold in here! Let me adjust!”

Dex smiles smugly.

Nursey looks down at the dreidel. It’s pointing at himself.

“I think you should kiss Cait. She’s the only one not to get a kiss yet,” Chowder decides.

Nursey smiles at Cait and leans in, wrapping one hand behind her head as he supports himself on the other.

It’s a sweet kiss, he and Cait’s always are. He’s not sure why, but she’s always more gentle with him than the other two. He likes it.

She pulls back and kisses him on the forehead. His cheeks heat.

“My turn!”

Farmer spins the dreidel and it lands on hey.

“Dex!” she decides after stroking her chin dramatically.

Dex rolls his eyes but slips off his hoodie.

Dex gets a Farmer kiss out of it though so he doesn’t seem too upset.

Play continues like that for a while, everyone making out with each other and targeting Dex for every hey until he’s left in only his boxer briefs. Chowder is also down to only his boxers, Cait is in her pants still but lost her bra (“it was annoying me anyway”), and Nursey is in an undershirt and boxers.

Then Chowder gets gimmel.

“Dex and Chris are out!” Farmer exclaims, shucking her jeans. “Show us the booty, boys!”

Nursey grins as he pulls off his undershirt, leaving himself in just his own boxers.

Chowder giggles as he takes off his boxers, blushing like they don’t all see each other naked all the time. Dex huffs a laugh and does the same.

Then they all look at where the dreidel is pointing. It’s right at Dex.

Chowder raises an eyebrow and climbs back into Dex’s lap for the fourth time that evening, both now completely naked.

It gets heated fast and as Nursey watches he feels his cheeks heat. He looks over at Farmer and finds her in a similar state.

“Time to call the game over, yeah?” she asks.

Derek nods. “I think we all won.”

She smiles back at him.

“Shall we join them?”

“With pleasure.”