#red-cilled

[birthdaysentiment]

He finds a small folded square of paper. It’s stationery from their hotel that night, the night everything inside Alex rearranged. Henry’s cursive… He fumbles his phone out so fast he almost drops it on the floor and smashes it. The search tells him Pyramus and Thisbe were lovers in a Greek myth, children of rival families, forbidden to be together. Their only way to speak to each other was through a thin crack in the wall built between them. And that is, officially, too fucking much. [insp.]

RED, WHITE & ROYAL BLUE (2023) — dir. Matthew Lopez

[whiskeysmokeandcologne]

I wasn't expecting you...

[idksmtms]

Golden Globes (Cillian Murphy x reader)

Summary: Written from the perspective of press and viewers of the golden globes; how cute are Cillian Murphy and his girlfriend Y/n L/n?! From the red carpet to his acceptance speech, look at what a mesmerising couple these two make!

Word count: 2,250

Trigger Warnings: she/her pronouns, AFAB reader, very slight profanity, mostly just fluff (please let me know if I missed any) 

Disclaimer: This is written purely for fictional purposes and for the sake of writing. No disrespect is intended to the real people portrayed/concerned in this scenario. 

AN: Inspired by Yvonne and Cillian actually being the cutest couple ever at the Golden Globes. Also, if you catch the sneaky Succession reference: mwah! Edit: Just watched an interview clip where he says everyone calls him Cill as his nickname and I will be gratuitously using that from now on.

Always appreciate comments, likes, and reblogs :) 

Part 1: Red Carpet 

“And next to arrive onto the red carpet is Cillian Murphy! He’s a favourite to win the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Drama Motion Picture, and I mean, rightly so, he killed it in Oppenheimer!” 

“Right?! And I have to say, whoever styled him tonight knew what they were doing, because mmm chef’s kiss right there.” 

“For real, but knowing him he probably grabbed an old suit out of his closet and put it on, hahahah.” 

“I bet he wishes, but Y/n would never let him, and there she is! Oh look how stunning she looks! For all our viewers who are unaware, that’s Y/n L/n, Cillian Murphy’s girlfriend and the other half of our favourite couple!” 

“Is that a vintage Schiaparelli?! Um, someone did not come to play. Aw, look how cute they are, he refuses to let go of her hand. I want a man like that.” 

“The way he smiles at her?! You can really tell they love each other, and awwww she’s blushing!!! You guyssssss, I can’t handle this.” 

“Hahahah, she’s forcing him to go out and strut his stuff, how sweet. That’s the definition of a supportive partner right there, always wanting you to have your moment to shine.” 

“Honestly, and like, I know we’re supposed to be watching Cillian but guys look how SHE watches him. That’s true love right there, and no one can convince me otherwise.” 

“D’you remember that interview where he talked about the little gifts she gets him at the end of each of his movies?” 

“Oh my god yeah, that was adorable, she makes him something small to remember each of his movies, like she knits or crochets or crafts something for him right?” 

“Yeah, exactly, well apparently, since this was his sixth movie with Nolan, she made the little tokens for all the producers and like the lead team. I was in TEARS when I heard, because who is that sweet? Like who is THAT sweet to their partner’s whole team?” 

“I didn’t know that, oh my god, I love her even more. No wonder Cillian loves her, I get it, I fully support it.” 

“Ok, seems like Cillian’s done getting his pictures taken and- aw! He’s looking for her! Cillian, bestie, she’s right there, ok ok ok, they found each other. Look at that hug!” 

“A man who adjusts the train of your dress like that to help you walk easier??? That is a man worth having, and Cillian Murphy is clearly the best man. Gosh look at the way she leans into him when they walk, and he’s just rubbing her back all soft and sweet, aaaaa I think I’m gonna melt.” 

“Oo! Ok, they’re going for interviews and the next person to come up is…” 

Part 1.2: Interview 

“Hi Cillian! How are you feeling tonight?” 

“I’m doing well thank you, a little nervous I guess, how are you?” 

“I’m great! Having a lot of fun here at the Golden Globes! How did you enjoy the red carpet? Any chance to meet others yet?” 

“Yeah, it’s grand, very… opulent, heh, and no! Unfortunately I haven’t had a chance to properly greet anyone yet, but I’m sure when we get inside I’ll have plenty of time for that.” 

“Alright, let’s talk about your movie for a bit, how does it feel to see all the recognition it’s getting?” 

“It feels deserved, you know? Everyone worked so hard on that film and put in a hundred and ten percent and it feels like people have really noticed it and seen not only the talent but the effort the team put in.” 

“Were you expecting such resounding fame for the movie?” 

“I mean, I definitely knew at least some people would watch it because Chris made it, hahaha, and people have recognised how amazing he is, but I guess you never really know how popular a movie is going to be until it comes out. But it’s truly amazing to see how it resonated with audiences.” 

“You’ve spoken in past interviews about the importance of a strong and accepting support system for people in this line of work, how did such an intense movie fit into your life?” 

“I mean, I treated it like I treat all my roles - it is a job at the end of the day - but it’s always great to have my family willing to put up with odd schedules and having to be away from home for long periods of time. My girlfriend, heh, she’s actually really great with this stuff. She always makes sure to call me while I’m away, she comes to visit as often as she can, and she just has this way of making anywhere feel like home, you know? Regardless of where I am, or what I’m doing, I can count on her, and that’s probably the best part of my life. It’s a really bad habit of hers but she stays up late with me if I have an oddly timed call or interview or whatever, just to be there with me.” 

“Aw, that’s so sweet! It’s amazing the way you talk about her, she sounds like a great person!” 

“She really really is. I mean, there’s some people out there who are just blessed with the biggest hearts and even just their presence can make life better, you know? And that’s her. I don’t know where I would be without her in my life to be honest with you.” 

“Oh how cute! Well, we’ll let you go, tell your girlfriend how much we love her, and good luck with your award tonight!” 

“Thank you.” 

Part 2: The Main Event 

“And the Golden Globe goes to… Cillian Murphy!” You let out a rather unholy shriek that you were sure would be caught on camera and posted all over, but you were too excited to care. You jumped up, grabbing Cillian by his shoulders and pressing your lips to his mouth and face, over and over until there were lipstick smudges across his nose. 

“You did it Cill! You did it,” you whispered, rubbing at his face to try and wipe away the lipstick. He had the lightest red splotches across his nose and cheek but they mixed into the flush on his skin so you let him be after a moment. Your face hurt from smiling, your whole body buzzing because finally, finally, he had gotten the recognition he had long deserved. 

“Oh boy, my first question, do I have lipstick all over my nose? Ah, I’m just gonna leave it. Um, I-I knew the first time that I walked on Chris Nolan’s set that it was different. I could tell by the level of rigour, the level of focus, the level of dedication, the complete lack of any seating options for actors, heheh, that it was-that I was in the hands of a visionary director and master. I wanna thank Chris, and Emma, for having the faith in me for-for twenty years, and six feckin pictures! So, thanks so much. Um, one of the most beautiful and vulnerable things about being an actor is that you can’t do it on your own, really, and we had the most incredible ensemble cast in this movie, it was magic, and some of them are here today. Emily Blunt, Robert Downey Jr, Matt Damon, Gary Oldman, thank you for carrying me and holding me through this movie. Um, thank you to- thank you! Uh, thank you to Dara Langley, and everyone at Universal for believing in this movie from the very beginning. Uh, oh! To all my fellow nominees - if you’re Irish or not - you’re all legends, stunning work guys, I salute you. Um, to all my reps, all my team, uh thank you so much you’re the best. To my girlfriend, you are the light of my life, the love I couldn’t live without, thank you for always being there. To my family, I’m the luckiest man, I love you, thanks so much guys!” 

Part 3: Top Ten 

“Hello everyone and welcome back to the ATN News youtube channel! Today we are looking at our top ten favourite Cillian Murphy moments from the Golden Globes and spoiler alert: they all have something to do with his girlfriend because, let’s face it guys, they’re our favourite unproblematic power couple! Just a reminder that we did similar videos for some other celebrities so you can check them out on our channel but let’s get started! 

Number 1: When they were walking into the hall and he held her purse for her! This is a personal favourite because I love someone who notices the little things, and the fact that he just kinda slipped it from her hands?? Cuteness overload. 

Number 2: This one is my personal favourite. During the break, the camera was just kinda moseying around and it caught them whispering to each other and just laughing. Look at how lovey dovey they are, leaning against each other, just whispering in each other’s ears. I really wanna know what they’re saying because I’m sure they are the most hilarious people on earth, but it’s also so intimate that I don’t wanna disturb them, you know? And she’s holding his hand in her lap aaaa! I have to move on otherwise I’m just gonna sit here and watch this all day. 

Number 3: Ok, at number three we have the couple’s red carpet glam moment! After getting some solo pictures taken, Cillian had Y/n walk the carpet with him and they slayed. I mean they slayyyyyed. Their outfits were amazing, their chemistry was amazing, their poses were amazing just- amazing. The fact that she did the little heel kick in one of the pictures?? Iconic. Cillian, Y/n, if you guys are looking for recommendations I would frame the picture where Y/n’s kissing the air just before Cillian’s cheek, it’s funny and it’s cute. 

Number 4: This is a moment from an interview he gave where they asked him about life with Y/n, take a listen. 

“You know she’s just the best. We both have our own strengths at home and I think they fit together so well and it just works perfectly. Like, I’m terrible at D.I.Y. Just absolutely hopeless, and good or not, she’s tenacious. If she starts a project for the house, no matter how hard, she will learn what to do and she will finish it. It’s inspiring honestly. Just every little thing she does inspires me.” 

Number 5: Halfway through and this might also be my personal favourite (agh I can’t choose!). When Y/n fed Cillian something from her plate?? Guys, when I saw that, I kid you not I almost melted. She just gently taps his shoulder, lifts her fork to his mouth, and feeds him. Was he too nervous to eat?? Did she notice and make sure he ate something?? Or is that just something they do? Like if you walked into their house at a random dinner time she might just randomly feed him something?? Either way, it was cute and I bet they make everyone sick with their love and I’m here for it. 

Number 6: Another simple one, but when he sat back with his arm over her chair? He just kinda leaned to the side and put his arm on the back of her chair and she just kinda shifted closer into his side- and they didn’t even stop their conversations with other people! They just did it! Being that intune with someone is just nghdhm. I have no words. 

Number 7: Alright, so some fan pics came out after the event of the couple leaving the venue, and look at this, he’s carrying her shoes for her!!! The pictures are a little grainy, but you can clearly see him holding the heels that she was wearing during the event while they walk to the car. She’s even carrying his award for him, what a bunch of cutiepies!

Number 8:  Another one from the fan pics - and another personal favourite (leave me alone) - is those cuties dancing on the street! I think it’s near their house and the pictures capture him twirling her, and they’re both laughing so much and then they’re hugging and Cillian’s just swaying her (all while holding that Golden Globe mind you) and they just look so happy and in love. Brb, I need something to tackle this overdose of cute. 

Number 9: Our second last moment is when Y/n kissed Cillian right before he went up to accept his award! Just, the scream, the kiss, the lipstick on his face, all of it is so perfect. And the fact that he left it on his face while giving his speech? Our king, have no shame, proudly show her love! 

Number 10: And of course, the final favourite has to be Cillian’s speech. He was funny, he was gracious, and honestly? It was perfect. If my boyfriend called me the light of his life in a room full of famous people, on a live broadcast that like millions of people are watching, I would probably just start proposing to him at that moment. Like he really said “the love I couldn’t live without” can you imagine that kind of devotion?! I want that. 

Anyway! Thanks for watching our top ten Cillian Murphy moments. Don’t forget to like and subscribe!” 

AN: Yes, I did transcribe his whole acceptance speech. No further questions.

[beiasluv]

cillian murphy and his ‘daughter-figure’

a/n: i can never make myself write for people in real life with a romantic interest, sorry 😩 but i won’t deny to reading allat. no proof reads :)

enjoy!

cillian had taken you under his wings (awh) a long, long time ago

thankfully, christopher nolan approve of your acting and accepted you for a movie, allowing you to meet him for the first time

becoming the youngest constant actress to be featured in nolan’s multiverse

several years later, you are, once again, walking on the red carpet with your on screen ‘father figure’

oppenhiemer ofc

walking along the red carpet, camera flashed at you and your drop-dead gorgeous outfit for the event. making sure to look around to catch every news headlines, you see flo and emily waving at you. wasting no time, you rushed to your favorite girlies.

“hii,” flo and emily enveloped you into her embraces and kisses.

“my darling, y/n, how’ve you been?”

giggling about the latest girl talk, complimenting flo on her haircut and outfit, and a little bit sprinkle of girls touch up, a third hand wrapped around your shoulders and you turned around to see those set of blue eyes.

“cill!”

“hello, darling,” without a second thought, cillian smiled and wrapped his arms around your waist. not too tight but not too insecure, just the perfect spot.

liked by florencepugh, roberdowneyjr, and others

yourinsta thank you. xoxo

cillian is just a sweet soul in general

he could get protective if you were rubbed off in a wrong way

if the interviewer ask weird questions, he won’t hesitate to throw hands

he also loves going out with you just for bonding purposes

movies, restaurants, or just going out with his kids

his wife definitely adores you

his kids definitely see you as their sister

a 100 percent some photo booths sessions with him

“ok, pose now!” you looked at the camera while making a serious face, which cillian mirrored. a funny face and a silly face precedes.

“how do you click this ancient photobooth? cill!”

liked by ynnumberonefan, florencepugh, and others

yourinsta thanks for paying for mi lunch ;)

jessepas NO WAY y/n convinced cillian to do photo booths with her

kanHK trust me! cillian def convinced her 😭

gagahi imagine getting your lunch payed by emily, rdj, cillian, matt, and JOHN?

ynwifie Y/N pleaseeee i can pay for your lunchhh

view all 48,922 comments

you are feeding cillian fans with post and pictures. (come on, we are starving)

dancing to tiktoks with cillian in the background smiling <3

you can never do interviews with cillian and never laugh

it. is. impossible.

he’s just very funny in private and ‘the’ dead face humor

“three, two, one, rolling!”

“hello- cillian,” chuckling as you see cillian staring off into the distance again.

“oh- hello,” he smiled. “i am cillian murphy.”

“and i am y/n l/n, and we are here for…”

what is your favorite scene with cillian?

“are we talking about oppenheimer or just everything?” you chuckled and took a swift glance at cillian who was grinning at you.

“just in anything, anything that comes to your mind”

“wow…” poking your tongue a little bit out while you were thinking. “i…don’t know…not- not because i don’t have one but it is a journey back, you know?” smiling at the interviewer.

“we take a long way back,” cillian added while he looked over to you. “i remember meeting her when she was just a little kid in the batman trilogy.”

“i- i was young, yes,” letting out a soft laugh, you thought again.

“um…I honestly don’t know which one to pick,” you chuckled. “i’ll say my favorite one is in inception, it just amazes me how cillian delivers his emotional, tear-jerking scenes, and we got to do a lot of amazing, humorous stunts.”

“cillian doesn’t take compliments very well, does he?”

the comment made you look over to your fellow actor and saw him smiling at you and shaking his head. you laughed and adjusted your position in the chair, “irish people doesn’t take it very well, he will just turn invisible if you keep complimenting him.”

are you going to go watch barbie?

cillian smiled and glanced slowly at you, “ask her.”

“a 100% will do. as a matter of fact, i already went to watch it,” you said proudly and giggled.

“oh really? how was it?”

“it was really, really good. i wasn’t expecting to cry but…you can ask him,” you pointed at cillian who couldn’t hold his chuckle in any longer.

“so you two went to watch it together? wow-”

“yes,” cillian smiled sheepishly. “a lovely movie, made y/n cried, very touching,” cillian chuckled.

“no spoilers but- the ending scene was super tear jerking but the end credits made me confused whether I should laugh or cry,” you laughed at your memories of going to watch barbie with cillian.

what do you have each other on the phone as?

“this is going to be so embarrassing,” you fake groaned and chuckled, while digging for your phone in your dress.

“also girls, this dress has pockets. amazing,” cillian and the interviewer gained a few chuckles. you fished out your phone and unlocking it with a few swipes, and opened the contact app, scrolling to the ‘c’ sections.

“i…have him as ‘cilly shelby’,” cillian went wide eyes and look at the screen of your phone.

cillian grinned and leaned back on his chair, “i saved her as y/n and a smiley face emoji.”

“aw what? that is so nice, i feel so bad now”

one thing about the person next to you?

“cillian, cillian, cillian. i would say he is very caring and an astonishing actor, performer,” you says while putting your hands to your heart.

“no- you are”

“irish modesty, people,” you faked rolled your eyes at him, while mockingly patting him.

“he’s great, just a very supportive…i wouldn’t say brother but i don’t wanna say father figure as well, even though we played a lot of father-daughter roles together,” you laughed at your own response, fixing your hair.

biting your lips, you pondered, “ah, i would say an…‘uncle figure’.”

“what?” cillian chuckled

“it’s someone you can have fun with and someone who you can look after to, for me,” you smiled while cillian cooed his response and gave you a side hug.

“that was very sweet,” he smiled. “i would say y/n is very sweet and brave soul, just someone who you meet and brightens your day.”

cillian cleared his throat and switched his crossing leg, “well, i have two boys but bonding with her will always be special to me, like the daughter i never had.”

“thank you christopher nolan for giving me a daughter,” he chuckled and gave you another side hug.

“aw, i’m going to cry”

last but definitely not the least. a random question from the audience, what is the hottest thing a man can wear?

laughters filled the room, rolling back in your chair, “wow, that was random.”

“i know right?” the interviewer chuckles and wiped a fake tears.

“i think we should ask the man,” you pointed your fingers at cillian and he shifted in his chair.

“wow…that really caught me off-guard,” cillian cleared his throat. “i would say a nice suit or a silk shirt.”

“definitely a black silk,” you added, gaining chuckles from cillian and the crews.

“for me…wow, it’s going to be really weird. I like men who wear watches, like the leather straps one,” you chuckled and hid your face in your palms.

“i definitely rubbed it on her, sorry,” cillian smiled and hid his watch as he crossed his arms.

“hey- yeah- maybe he did…ooo, ah, another thing is properly a teacher glasses, i don’t know man, it’s hot.”

“noted, guys, you’re welcome,” the interviewer says to the camera, cutting off the interview session.

if you like my work, feel free to like or reblog; if not, critiques are appreciated. today’s a great day to take care of yourself 🤍 lots of love.

[cillianmesoftlyyy]

could you write one shot of the reader crying bc she’s insecure dating cill?:)

Nerves | young!Cillian x fem!Reader

Summary: Its the night of the Drama Desk Award Show (2012) and the up and coming star Cillian Murphy has a new girlfriend. She loves him but she still struggles to overcome her insecurity when it comes to being with Cillian. Hours before the show, she finally confides in him and he does everything he can think of to make her feel better before the big night.

Warnings: Self-deprecation and insecurity, anxiety, crying, smut, unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), after-care. Heavily inspired by the Golden Globes show last night where Cillian had lipstick on his nose lol. This is a fictional story that does not reflect Cillian Murphy in reality- it is purely delusional lol. Cillian is not married in this- no hate towards Yvonne, please.

work count: 2815k

Warning sign- Coldplay 🎶

note: I hope I did your request justice :)

Minors do not interact. Not proof read- sorry folks!

She was going completely insane. There was no way in hell that Cillian Murphy actually loved her. He was the most attractive man she had ever met and the kind of guy who talked very little which meant that she talked more than she would have liked just to fill the silence when they first started dating. She beat herself up about it on a regular basis, mortified how she seemed to say the most ridiculous things to Cillian and watched as he chuckled politely. She tried to tell herself that she was beautiful, that other people found her beautiful, and that she was degrading herself for no reason. But that didn’t stop the constant weight of insecurity settling on her shoulders whenever she was with him. She felt unattractive, like the kind of girl that never got the guy, and it was affecting her mental health. 

She told herself over and over again as she got ready for the award show that Cillian had chosen her, that he wouldn’t be with her if he didn’t love her. Once she had prided herself on her confidence and even-tempered personality but she felt the exact opposite whenever she was alone with him. Being in public was a little easier, she could hide behind the absurdity of the paparazzi, she could take Cillian’s hand because he was leading her away, etc. But once they were alone, she felt insecure and a little delusional because none of it felt real… and maybe none of it was. Maybe this was all a fantasy but that couldn’t be because Cillian was real and the assistants swarming her with hair tools and makeup swatches were certainly real too. 

They had started officially dating a few months before, right after his play Misterman was officially done touring. They’d gone on a few dates here and there but everything suddenly got serious after closing night, she honestly couldn't even remember how it happened. Now, don’t get her wrong, he loved being with Cillian but like so many girls (and others), she struggled to feel adequate in her relationship with Cillian. He was such an amazing performer and just so downright beautiful that it intimidated her. She was working as an author and happened to go to a party that Cillian was also at in New York City. They were introduced and she was surprised how shy he was, even as an already famous actor. And though she talked incessantly because she was afraid of awkward silence, he’d still asked her out on a date. 

The rest had obviously led up to this moment in a small hotel room where they were both getting ready for The Drama Desk Award show in NYC. One of her assistants helped her choose a dress from a local upscale department store and they decided on a red velvet dress with a very simple silhouette. It was laced tightly around her waist and the hem ended mid-thigh. Cillian, ever the practically dressed man, wore a simple tux and styled his hair with a sticky product. Once they were dressed, their assistants left, telling them that a car would arrive to take them to the show. Cillian stepped out of the bathroom where he was checking his hair and snapped off the bright yellow light, his eyes fell on her.  

“Wow, look at you,” Cillian smiled as she turned around in the mirror, checking that the back looked ok. 

“Do you like it?” She laughed self-consciously and put her hands on her hips. 

“Mhm, it's beautiful.” He licked his lips and she blushed deeply, feeling the rush of blood through her body like a little girl with a crush. 

“Hey, hey, come here! You’re blushing,” Cillian caught her wrist and pulled her around to face him. She looked to the side, smiling. “That’s so cute.” 

“Stop it, Cill,” she swatted him away but he caught her waist between his palms and held her still, his piercing blue eyes holding her like a magnet. 

“What’s wrong?” His smile softened and he ran his thumbs across her velvet bodice. She took a deep breath and tried to smile normally. 

“I’m just nervous,” she shrugged. 

“About being in front of so many people?”

“No, not really. I don’t mind that so much.”

“Then why are you nervous?” He furrowed his brow and shifted his weight on his feet, stepping closer. 

“I’m,” she started but his closeness distracted her. He was so close that his breath dragged across her forehead and displaced some of her hair. They’d only had sex twice because it was still so early in their relationship. She had an apartment in New York but Cillian had gotten a room in a hotel nearby as well, not wanting to force himself into her private life. When he was doing Misterman he stayed with a friend and had visited her only a few times when their schedules aligned. In their absence from one another, a sense of sexual depravity heightened between them. Even just thinking about Cillian in bed with her made her catch her breath, nearly choking on her own oxygen. 

“I’m just,” she started again, her eyes caught on Cillian’s lips. Cillian’s eyes were on her’s and she shivered under his gaze. “I’m just nervous being around you.” She finished finally and looked up at him for his reaction. He snapped away from his trance and raised an eyebrow. 

“Why’s that?” 

She shook her head, not breaking eye contact. Her hands clasped around his forearms, his hands still tight around her waist. 

“It's just hard to be vulnerable, you know? It’s hard being with someone else when you’re more comfortable being by yourself. And… well, sometimes I don’t feel good enough to be with you.” She started to cry and wiped the tears quickly from her face, embarrassed. His concern changed to a wide smile. 

“Ah,” Cillian threw back his head and laughed lightly, his dark hair shifting from his forehead, “really? You don’t think you’re good enough to be with me? Sweetheart, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on. You’re a best-selling author and smart as hell, I’m fucking intimidated by you.” He moved his hands to cup her face, his thumbs pressing into the soft flesh on her cheeks. 

“But you’re Cillian Murphy.” She emphasized and moved her hands to his belt loops. 

“Then remember, sweetheart, that you’re Cillian Murphy’s girl.” She smiled, adding a self-deprecating emphasis on his own name. She blushed again and he laughed, “you’re blushing again!” 

“Jesus christ,” she hid her face in her hands and turned away. Cillian laughed and kissed her bare shoulder. When she pulled her hands away from her face, he wrapped his arms around her chest from behind. They stared at each other in the mirror. 

“I think you’re going to win, Cill.” She whispered with a closed smile. He scoffed jokingly. 

“I’m flattered but I really doubt it.” 

“I think you will.” She shrugged. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” She nodded and leaned back against him. He licked his lips and smiled slyly. 

“Well, then if I win, as you say I will, I want to spend the night with you.” 

“Oh? Is that the deal?” She laughed and resisted his strong hold around her, “what happens if you lose?” She frowned jokingly. 

“Hmm,” he thought, “maybe you’ll still fuck me because you feel so bad for me.” “Do you really want me, Cillian?” She asked seriously and he paused, watching her closely. 

“Do you not believe me?” He asked seriously back, his eyebrow raised. 

“No, not really,” she whispered and he looked at her sadly for a moment, trying to understand where this insecurity came from and what he could do to relieve its pressure on her psyche. He looked down at his watch and stepped away from her, leaving her in the center of the mirror’s reflection. 

“Take off your dress.” He whispered, meeting her eyes in the mirror. She shook her head.

“What?” 

“Take it off, darling.” 

She looked down at her dress and then back at him. He stood patiently behind her, waiting. 

“We have time so do as I ask, please.” He nodded to her dress, “take it all off.” 

She very slowly undid the ties at her back, loosening the dress around her waist. She kicked off her flats and took a deep breath before letting her dress slip from her chest down to the carpeted floor. She was left in her bra and underwear, both red to hide beneath the red dress. He sighed deeply, his pupils expanding childishly. He sat back on the edge of the bed and rested his head in his palm. 

“Go on.” He encouraged and she reached behind her back, undoing the bra and casting it to the side. Then she removed her underwear, standing completely nude in the mirror. Her heart pounded against her chest. 

“This, this is why I want you.” He nodded to her body. He stood and stopped behind her, his hand reaching around to her navel. “I’ve been thinking about you for so long, it was driving me crazy.” He whispered against her ear. His hand trailed up her stomach to her top rib and stayed there, not yet touching her breast. 

“Every part of you is perfect,” he continued, his hand sliding down to her thighs and then up to her breasts where he finally cupped them. Every ridge and roll of fat fell below his hand as he explored her body. She shuttered. 

She suddenly felt a small surge of confidence. “Do you masturbate about me?” 

He looked at her and smiled shyly, “yeah… yeah.” He shook his head, “like I’m a fucking teenage boy. I feel like I need you all the time.” He gasped quietly against her bare skin. 

She turned and pressed herself against his chest, wrapping her arms around his neck. She kissed him giddily and he smiled against her lips. His hand cupped her cunt as he kissed her back. She gasped at his touch and unbuttoned his pants. He kicked off his loafers and picked her up. She wrapped her legs around his hips as he laid her down on the hotel’s bed. She could feel his erection against her cunt as she fell onto the soft mattress. She sat up and pushed his dress jacket from his shoulder and tossed it carefully to the side. He was still in his dress shirt and bowtie as he pulled his erection from his underwear. She pulled him down to her mouth and continued to kiss him as he rubbed her clit, warming her up. 

“Fuck, Cillian.” 

“Yeah?” He whispered against her lips. 

“God, I love you.” She gasped as he pushed his cock against her cunt and he smiled, his eyes closed. 

“I love you too.” He exhaled and pushed inside her with a gentle thrust. She whimpered from the sudden intrusion and he gasped. He held her hips and fucked her deeper, still going slow and allowing her body to get used to him. 

“This is so good, Jesus Christ. Are you ready?” He looked down at her and she nodded quickly. He licked his lips and started to fuck her faster, their bodies hitting eachother more aggressively as he sped up. She whimpered in pleasure and he exhaled in short bursts, already panting. He pulled out and crawled onto the bed below her. With one hand he pulled her farther up on the bed and the other he positioned her hips again. He thrusted inside again and grabbed the headboard, digging his fingers into the padded surface. 

“Shit, Cillian I’m going to cum!” She whimpered, her thighs flexed against his pale hips. He shuttered and looked down at her. 

“No, not yet. I’m not done with you yet, sweetheart.” He cooed and slowed down. He slipped his arms beneath her and laid his palms flat on the mattress. He held her hip up with one hand and moved in and out slowly, pushing as deep as she would allow him to go. 

“Fuck…” she gasped and dug her nails into his back helplessly. She felt a pleasurable shock shoot from between her legs and she covered her mouth to muffle her loud moans. 

“Oh you poor thing, you had to cum, didn’t you? You couldn't wait for me. So you’ll just have to cum twice, ok?” He panted and she nodded, tears filling her eyes and he snapped his hips back against her. He fucked her faster, panting from the pleasure. He grabbed the bottom of the headboard and pulled himself deeper inside her and she threw her head back in pleasure.

“Fucking hell, look at you,” He stroked her hair and continued fucking her fast, drawing out loud and pitiful moans from his throat. “You’re so good for me. God, I love you. You’re my girl.” He muttered deliriously, her walls closing around him and her thigh pulling him closer. The bed rocked beneath them. 

“Harder, Cillian. Please!” She begged, a small spot of drool collecting at the corner of her mouth. He smiled and went deeper, hitting the base of her uterus with fast and rough thrusts. He got sloppier and she gasped against her hand. He kissed her and when she opened her mouth in a moan, he sucked her tongue. She licked his upper lip when he threw his head back in pleasure. 

“I’m going to cum, fuck!” He panted and gave a final thrust into her. As he finished, she squirted and shuttered from the violent pleasure. He pulled out with a proud laugh and kissed her. He climbed off the bed and pulled her down to the edge of the bed by her ankle. 

“What are you doing now?” She giggled. 

“Cleaning up, darling.” He lowered himself to his knees and spread her legs with his sweaty palms. He looked at her for a second before licking her cunt, twirling his tongue against her clit. She was already so sensitive that she arched her back and bit down on her finger to stop herself from literally screaming. He used a flat tongue to clean the cum from her body and sucked softly on her clit. She tugged at his hair, gasping in exhausted pleasure. He held her hips in place as he dug her heels into the mattress, her feet flexed completely. He continued to lick when she orgasmed, cleaning her completely. Then with a proud smile, he put on his underwear and went to the bathroom. He came back with a damp washcloth and lifted one of her legs, wiping the soft inside of her thigh. He did the same to the other as she panted. She sat up and kissed him. 

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“I love you.” He responded and kissed her on her forehead before handing her dress back to her. She quickly put her dress back on and fixed her makeup. She applied a red lip gloss and brushed her hair away from her face. Cillian put his pants and shoes back on before pulling on his jacket and straightening the front. A knock sounded at the door and Cillian nodded at her as if nothing had happened. 

“Ready?” 

“Yeah.” She smiled and grabbed her purse. He took her hand and they walked down to the parking lot where the car was waiting to take them to the award ceremony. His hand stayed in her’s, their fingers linked. She rested against his chest and he kissed the top of her head. The venue was lit up and crowded with paparazzi and cars. This was the first time that she would be seen with Cillian at any of his events. He helped her out of the car and put a protective hand behind her back, leading her through the crowd to the entrance. Once inside, they were shown to their table and she shifted her foot closer to his, wanting to be as close as possible. People snapped their picture and introduced themselves to her, Cillian introduced her as his girlfriend and she blushed each time, prompting a playful pinch from Cillian.

She squeezed his thigh when the nominees were announced for his category. 

“And the award for outstanding solo performance is…” The announcer looked down at the envelope and smiled at the audience, “Cillian Murphy, Misterman!” Everyone applauded and Cillian turned to her, kissing her in his moment of excitement and happiness. She kissed him back and laughed when he pulled away. Her lip gloss was smeared across his lips. 

“You have lip gloss on your face now!” She whispered as he stood. 

“Perfect.” He whispered in her ear and walked shyly to the stage, taking the award with shy nods, his eyes finding her’s in the audience, smudges of red across his mouth. She was his. 

[lucyswinter]

request!!! the nightmare trope with cilly. reader wakes up scared in the middle of the night and he comforts her 💖

pairing: cillian murphy x fem!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: none! <3

(a/n): thank you so much for the request ml!!!! alsooo new divider!! creds to @/saradika-graphics 💗💗 this was not proofread, but ava got a sneak peak and liked it so lmk if there’s any grammatical errors lol

You let out a sharp breath as you jolt up into a sitting position, dry sobs echoing the walls of your bedroom as you cross your arms and grip the opposite forearm for support. You don’t even notice that you’ve woken Cillian until he made himself known.

“Lovey? What is it?” he asked you worriedly, eyes wide, slowly sitting up and leaning on his arm so that he could see you properly.

“I-I…” you manage to pant out, eyes watering.

“Love, you need to use your words. What’s wrong?” He puts a hand to your cheek and softly strokes your face with his thumb in a comforting rhythm. He always knew exactly what to do to calm you down, even when you didn’t.

“I had um.” You pause to take a nervous gulp, eyes now overflowing enough for a few tears to race down your cheeks, some pooling up around Cillian’s thumb. “I had a nightmare…” a sob punctuates your sentence, prompting Cillian to furrow his brow with worry.

“Ohhh my poor sweet girl” he laughs, his hand moving down to rub your shoulder and pull your head against his chest. “I’m so sorry”

You try to lift your head from his chest. “Cill i’m going to get your shirt all wet with tears” you sniffle, another sob of guilt coming on.

“Shh it’s alright love. I can change later. This is about you right now. I’ll be fine.” He pulls you back on his chest and continues rubbing your shoulders. “Now, would you like to talk about what happened, or no? I won’t pressure you, but I’m here if you need me baby.”

You let out a few more soft sobs before wiping your cheeks and lifting your head to look at him. A sense of relief washes over you as soon as you meet his bright blue gaze.

“I just…I was being chased by this monster and he chased me into this house, and when I got into one of the rooms I-“ you’re cut off by a slightly more violent sob, the tears returning your cheeks, your eyes squeezed shut in an attempt to make them stop.

“Shhh take your time, sweet girl. Poor baby.” His lips connect with yours, and linger for a few seconds before he pulls back to give you his attention.

You take a deep breath out and continue to explain to him what happened. “And when I got into this room you were there but…but you were dead” you wail, the tears streaming down your cheeks like a waterfall.

“Oh my sweet caring girl. I’m so sorry you had to think about that. Ohhh poor girl.” He wiped tears from your now puffy eyes to reveal red cheeks. “But I’m here. And I’m not dead, lovey. You don’t need to worry about that.” He places a kiss on your cheek, and begins to rub your shoulders again. “I must say, angel, that sounds an awful lot like the movie we watched tonight…I don’t mean to jump to conclusions, but is there a possibility you got a bit frightened by the movie and that’s why you had this nightmare?”

You nod, ashamed to admit that a silly movie scared you.

He let out a soft chuckle, more pitiful than condescending. “Well why don’t we go back to sleep, baby.”

You lie down on your side and snuggle up closer to him so that his chin is above your head. He puts his arms around you and gentle rubs his thumb against your back, causing a tingly sensation to spread through your body in waves, lulling you closer to sleep. Your eyes flutter, and eventually close. You let out a soft sigh, and he leans his lips close to your ear, tickling the sensetive skin with his warm breath.

“No more scary movies for you, sweet angel. I hate seein’ you all scared.” He whispered. “Sleep now, love. Dream sweet things”. He planted a soft kiss on your forehead as you slowly drifted into a peaceful slumber.

(a/n): ty for reading!! next up is a neil lewis oneshot and a hotch oneshot!! <33

[darlingsfandom]

no thoughts just cillian taking you from behind

happy sinday!!

Happy sinday ✨

not sure why my brain first thought about public-ish sex but that's where it went !

The studio was a bit chilly as you sat behind the camera next to the snack table. You put on your little jacket over the spaghetti straps of your dress and flipped your hair out of the way once you were done. You were a bit exhausted since this was Cillians fourth interview of the day, but it's how you got to spend time with him when he wasn't off filming.

As the interview went on you suddenly felt your ears burning.

"Now Cillian, we have to know about these rumors that have been surfacing over the last few weeks.... do you have a girlfriend who's half your age?" The interviewer smirked to himself as Cillian rubbed his mouth and looked over at you. It wasn't like you two were trying to be a secret , it was just easy to be one since you didn't go out much. You both liked being in each down company and privacy. Cillian looked back at the interviewer as he looked at you and all you could do was give a small wave . "Is that her?? She's a beaut!" Cillians eyes quickly turned dark as your cheeks turned red.

"Yes that's her, she's MY lovely girlfriend." Cillian sat up straight as you felt the familiar heat pool between your legs. You carefully got out of the chair and excused yourself to the bathroom. Cillian excused himself after you to check on you to make sure you're okay after all you weren't use to all of these interviews in one day or so he said so no one would get suspect anything.

It took Cillian a few minutes to find you standing outside the bathroom. He grabbed your hand, pulled you inside and into the stall. His lips latched onto yours hungrily. "Cill... are you sure you want to do this here?" You mumbled between the sloppy kisses. You read his face and nodded before you turned around and lifted up your dress.

"Good girl!" He gave you a harsh spanking as he grabbed your hips and straightened you while your cheek was pressed against the cold stall door. His hands fumbled with his pants until you heard the clink of his belt of the ground. "Look at that baby, you're already wet and I haven't done one thing to you besides look at you." The stretch when he slid his cock into was the familiar burn you were use too. Cillian waited a minute before slowly thrusting into you. He was gentle at first making sure you felt every inch of him deep inside of your wet cunt. You looked over your shoulder at him with those precious doe eyes of yours before he yanked the ends of your hair and pulled you so your back was flat against his chest while his thrusts got faster. His free hand stayed covered over your mouth to make sure your moans were kept for his ears only.

Cillian breathed hard into your ear while pumping into you harder and harder as he let go of your hair and used that hand to reach into your dress and squeeze your breasts. You yelled into his hand as he toyed with your nipples while the sounds of his balls slapping from behind you echoed into the bathroom. Your eyes rolled back into your head as your orgasm took you by surprise because it wasn't your normal one, you had squirted. It wasn't your first squirt but it still took you by surprise to see the evidence all over your legs , the stall and the bathroom floor.

"Good girl!" Cillian kissed the back of your neck as he held you up a little to finish fucking you from behind until his own orgasm filled you up. You could feel the stickiness ooze down your thighs as he pulled out slowly. Cillian grabbed some tissue to clean you up and himself before he turned you around and kissed you lovingly. Once you to were cleaned up, you left the bathroom one at a time before he returned to his interview while you were back in that seat that you started in.

"Good to have you back Cillian, seems like you had a good time." The interviewer pointed to his own neck as Cillian put his hand on his neck and cleared his throat when he realized that you left a nice surprise called a big fat hickey on the side of his beautiful neck .

[queenshelby]

Yes! Mr Murphy (Rewritten)

PART 15: HANDCUFFS

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Angst, Age Gap, Teacher x Student, Fluff, Smut

PLEASE COMMENT AND ENGAGE

After about half an hour following the end of your class, all of the students and their parents had left and it was finally time for you to knock off as well and head to Cillian’s house for dinner.

Apparently, he was cooking for you and you weren’t quite sure whether you should be concerned or excited. No man had ever cooked dinner for you which is why, in the end, you went with option two. You were excited and looked forward to something other than instant noodles for a change.

***

When you finally arrived at Cillian’s apartment and he answered the door however, you were left speechless and, evidently, so was he was.

“This smells amazing. I can’t believe that you are actually cooking for me” you said after he gave you a quick kiss and before returning to stove.

“And I can’t believe how incredible you look in your dance clothes” Cillian responded when he saw you wearing not much else but a pair of tight leggings, leg warms and flats, combined with an oversized cardigan which covered the leotard you had on.  

“Is that sarcasm, because none of this looks appealing right now?” you asked somewhat confused while placing your bag to the side of the door and unzipping your cardigan.

“No. I am dead serious. You look hot in this” Cillian said before quickly turning down the heat on the stove and approaching you for a more serious kiss.

“You are so strange and I like it” you giggled against his lips while he caught you in a tight embrace before telling you that he had to finish cooking.

“What are you making?” you wondered and when he responded with the word “risotto” you were even more excited than before.

***

“So, Nina called me earlier and so did Dermont” Cillian then said after pouring you a glass of red wine, which is also when you joined him in the kitchen, watching him cook.

“Is everything alright?” you asked, panicking a little before telling Cillian that Connie asked you about which acting school you were going to.

“Yeah, she knows” Cillian informed you, but you weren’t quite sure what he meant by that.

“About?” you thus asked and Cillian explained.

“About us, which is fine” he said. He was almost unbothered by the fact that more and more people were now privy to your little secret.

“She won’t tell?” you asked, still worried.

“No, she won’t. Dermont and I have been friends for many years and I have entrusted them both with many secrets over time. Don’t worry about it, alright?” Cillian reassured you while taking your hands into his for a moment and pulling you in for a kiss.

“And Nina? How was she? Because she seemed rather upset at class today. I tried to help her but…” you began to say after your lips drifted apart and just as you spoke about his daughter with concern, Cillian felt a flutter in his stomach.

“I know. I’ve heard. Connie mentioned it to Dermont” he said almost shyly while looking into your eyes and seeing how truly beautiful you were. He was in awe with you and you could see this on his face.

“I am sorry Cill. I hope it was okay for me to get involved like this, as her teacher. It’s a tricky situation” you stammered nonetheless.

“I think it’s more than okay Y/N. You didn’t have to do that but I appreciate that you did. You are absolutely amazing and I think Nina really likes you. She didn’t stop talking about you and how cool you are” Cillian said to reassured you and a warm smile formed across his lips.

“I am pretty cool” you acknowledged with a quiet chuckle just as Cillian caressed your cheeks.

“Yes you are and I am very fucking lucky to have met you” he then went on to say before he kissed you again, this time more desperately than before.

“Cill, I am all sweaty…” you said, seeing that this kiss was lingering and turning into something else.

“I don’t care” he murmured in response before pulling away from you. “Although dinner is almost ready and risotto usually tastes best fresh, so we should probably eat first” he then said and you agreed.

......

You sat at the table and could smell his cologne as he set your plate down in front of you. God, this man was doing something to you no one else had managed before. His sent alone sent shivers down your spine.

“I hope you like it” Cillian then said and you smiled at him as he took his seat as well.

“It looks and smells amazing. Thank you” you said, which is also when you realised how that you liked how he made you feel, how he wanted you and how he wanted you to feel comfortable and welcome in his presence. He made an effort for you and he was so kind, gentle and empathetic that it made your heart melt. He was getting under your skin without him realising it, in best possible way. Sometimes you hated how he made you want him. It was never meant to be like this, but he had something that no one else had and it were moments like this, non-sexual ones, that you realised that you wanted him to be more than just a secret. You wanted him to be yours because you loved him, even after such a short amount of time.

.....

In the end, dinner was wonderful. Cillian was an amazing cook and, throughout, you chatted about life, Cillian’s children and the fact that you did not want any of your own. It was comfortable.

He made you relax around him which you loved and, after you had cleaned up, you decided that it was time for a shower.

“Go ahead. You know where everything is” Cillian said and, indeed, by now, you knew his apartment well enough to find your way around it.

Thus, you took your bag and got into the shower which is where you spent the next ten minutes until you were done.

Once done, you put on a thin cotton robe which you had brought with you and called out to Cillian.

“Do you have any moisturiser?” you asked and when he responded to your question and advised you that there is some in the top draw of his bedside table, you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Of course there is” you chuckled, seeing what else he could possibly be using it for and, when you went to look for it, you were rather surprised to find something else as well, namely a set of handcuffs.

**

“Handcuffs? Seriously?” you teased just as you walked back into the living room with them, holding them up and causing Cillian to blush.

“This is not what it looks like” he reassured you almost nervously and you began to chuckle.

“Oh no?” you asked. “I am all ears then, so please explain!” you demanded and Cillian was quick to admit to you that the handcuffs were a present he received at a bucks-party a few weeks ago.

“Did you ever use them?“ you asked, causing Cillian to shake his head.

“No” he told you and this, to you, was the perfect invitation to try them out.

“I suppose there is always a first time for everything, right?” you thus teased before gesturing him to follow you into his bedroom.

“So, am I tying you up?” Cillian wondered just as his excitement grew and he followed you eagerly.

“No, I am tying you up and you will not be allowed to cum until I give you permission” you winked convincingly and, for all you knew, Cillian let out a quiet and inadvertent groan at the sheer thought of it.

“So, do you have any objections to my proposal then?” you winked as you pulled Cillian into the bedroom and he quickly shook his head.

“None whatsoever! Do whatever you want to me. I am all yours” he said almost desperately, causing you to laugh.

“Very well then. Take your clothes off and lay down for me” you ordered and, again, Cillian nodded eagerly.

“Yes ma’am” he then said jokingly while you watched him follow your orders until, eventually, he climbed onto his large bed.

“Good. Now put your arms up so that I can secure you to the bed” you winked while, suddenly, dropping your robe to the floor, causing Cillian’s chin to drop.

“Fuck” Cillian groaned at the sight of you just before you joined him and secured his wrists in cuffs to the bedhead.

“Unbelievable! I didn’t even touch you yet and you are so hard already” you teased as you kneeled back in order to study his body, including every vein on his hard shaft.

“Can you blame me?” Cillian chuckled and you shook your head.

"Just remember, you will not be permitted to cum until I say that you can" you then whispered. "Do you understand?" you ought to clarify and Cillian starred back at you and nodded again.

"Yes, ma’am” he stammered and, by this point, there was a slightly sardonic smile on his lips.

"Very good” you smiled broadly in return before you reached up, taking his face between your hands, and kissing him softly on the lips. The kiss was sensuous, your mouth lingering on his, and you felt a stirring in your core.

When you pulled away and glanced down, you also noticed that he was not only rock hard now but was also already leaking precum which you quickly collected with the tip of your index finger.

You then brought your index finger to your mouth and licked it clean, eliciting yet another groan from Cillian as he watched you teasing him like this.  

You then ran your fingers along his arms, down his neck and shoulders, and traced his nipples with your fingertips before moving your hands over his chest and stomach, sending shivers down his spine. Cillian groaned again in response and you felt him shiver.

You flashed a sly grin as you stopped just below his belly button and watched his cock twitch with need. You weren’t going to give in just yet and looked at him again, making him wait.

“Please” Cillian begged almost desperately, wanting you to touch him and, after a long moment, you reached down and lightly touched his cock.

“Fuck, Y/N! Please!” he groaned again as you flicked your fingers over the tip, fluttering and teasing.

“Be patient” you ordered as you just toyed with him for a few minutes before, finally, you used both hands and stroked his cock on both sides, feeling it swell under your fingers as Cillian made small noises of pleasure.

You continued to stroke with both hands, then wrapped one hand firmly around his shaft and stroked with more pressure until his body started to move.

“God why are you so fucking good at this?” Cillian groaned as, never before, he could have cum from a hand job alone but, for some reason, your hands were magic and he was so close already.

“Don’t cum” you ordered again, feeling the small pulsations of his cock against your hand.

“I am not sure if I can control myself Y/N” he told you through quiet little moan and you immediately pulled away and watched Cillian’s face. His lips were slightly parted, but his breathing was still normal.

“You have to Cillian! You will not cum until I tell you to cum” you reminded him before you reached out again and stroked his cock, gently but firmly, from base to tip.

“Fuck” Cillian spat again as, suddenly, you began to fondle his balls before, again, focusing your touch on his engorged shaft.

You used both hands again, keeping up the rhythm and the pressure and, when you noticed him starting to thrust upwards, you moved your hand away, causing him to groan softly.

Then, you made him wait some more before you squeezed the base of his shaft with one hand and began to lightly play the fingers of your other hand around the tip of his cock. You smeared the precum around the head as you felt your own juices drip out of your pussy. You continued to play with your fingers until Cillian groaned loudly again and then you pulled away once more.

“Fuck please” Cillian groaned as he thrusted his hips into the open air, his mouth open, his breathing rapid but you waited until his breathing slowed down and he stopped moving again.

“Please what?” you teased as you repositioned yourself.

“Please let me cum” Cillian begged as, by this point, you kept teasing him for thirty minutes already.

“No” you simply responded before you ran your hands up and down his lean, sculpted legs, savoring the smoothness of his skin.

You then continued to stroke his legs before tying back your hair.

“I am going to use my mouth now” you announced before lightly licking the underside of the tip of his cock.

“For fuck sake Y/N. You are killing me” Cillian groaned and you smiled as you felt a slight shiver in his body.

“I am sure you will survive” you teased as you licked his cock for a while longer before taking the head of his engorged member between your lips.

“Yes. God. Fuck” Cillian groaned incoherently as you sucked and licked just the head while reaching beneath him and digging your fingernails into his taut ass. When he pushed against you though, you backed away, watching his cock quiver inches from your face.

His tip was now leaking precum pretty much uncontrollably and every time Cillian’s body calmed down, you took all of him in your mouth, slowly sucking his full length, until you felt him quiver again.

For an entire hour, you teased him like this. You stopped and pulled away, watching the veins bulge on either side of his eager member.

“I am begging you Y/N” Cillian said desperately as all he could think about was his swollen cock. The teasing was starting to mess with his mind, and he swallowed hard. "Let me cum. Please” he thus begged again but you kept on going.

"Not yet" you said while his body was trembling until you both heard the doorbell ring.

“Ignore it and keep going” Cillian begged you but, after the third time, you both figured that it might be important so you quickly uncuffed Cillian who then went and answered the intercom.

After having wrapped a towel around him, he spoke to the fill in clerk at the bottom of the building who informed him that a woman by the name of Kit McCallum was there to see him.

“Fuck, alright. Send her up” Cillian said while looking at you with concern.

“Uhm, who is it?” you asked, seeing whether you should go and hide.

“Kit” Cillian said before having a thought about what to do.

“At eight o’clock on a Friday night? Why?” you asked surprised, seeing that this was a little odd and, when Cillian shrug his shoulders, you decided not to worry about it.

“I don’t know. I was not expecting her, but you may need to open the door for her” Cillian then begged you while looking at his raging erection which was still poking against the white fluffy towel that he had wrapped around him.

“And tell her what?” you asked, laughing.

“Tell her that I am in the shower, which is exactly where I am going now in order bring this hard-on down with some cold water” he explained before planting a kiss on to your lips and quickly wandering off.

To be continued…

Please comment and engage. I love getting comments and predictions pretty please!

Tag List

@fastfan

@elenavampire21

@dolllol2405

@allie131313

@cilliansangel

@coldbastille

@kpopgirlbtssvt

@cdej6

@kathrinemelissa

@landlockedmermaid77

@crazymar15

@damedomino  

@lauren-raines-x

@miss-bunny19

@skinny-bitch-juice

@odorinana

@cloudofdisney

@weepingstudentfishhorse

@allexiiisss

@geminiwolves

@letsstarsfalling

@ysmmsy

@chlorrox

@tommyshelbypb

@chocolatehalo

@music-lover911

@desperate-and-broken

@mysticaldeanvoidhorse

@peaky-cillian

@lelestrangerandunusualdeetz

@december16-1991

@captivatedbycillianmurphy

@romanogersendgame

@randomfangirl2718

@missymurphy1985

@peakyscillian

@lilymurphy03

@deefigs

@theflamecrystal

@livinginfantaxy

@rosey1981

@hanster1998

@fairypitou

@zozeebo

@kasaikawa

@littleweirdoalien

@sad-huffle-nerd

@theflamecrystal

@0ghostwriter0

@stylescanbeatmyback

@1-800-peakyblinders

@datewithgianni

@momoneymolife

@mcntsee

@janelongxox

@basiclassy

@being-worthy

@chaotic-bean-of-smolness

@margoo0

@vhscillian

@crazymar15

@im-constantly-fangirling

@namelesslosers

@littlewhiterose

@ttzamara

@cilleveryone

@peaky-cillian

@severewobblerlightdragon

@dolllol2405

@pkab

@babaohhhriley

@littleweirdoalien

@alreadybroken-ts

@masteroperator

@stevie75

@shabzy96

@rainbow12346

@obsessedwithfandomsx

@geeksareunique

@laysalespoir

@paigem00

@lkarls

@vamp-army

@luckystarme

@myjumper

@gxorg

@eline-1806

@goldenharrysworld

@cristinagronk16

@stylesofloki

@faatxma

@slut-for-matt-murdock

@tpwkstiles

@myjumper

@cloudofdisney

@look-at-the-soul

@smellyzcat

@kittycatcait219

@theliterarybeldam

@being-worthy

@layazul

@lyn07

@kagilmore

@50svibes

@mainstreetlilly

@ourthatgirlabby

@bitchwhytho

@takethee

@registerednursejackie

@sofi128

@mrkdvidal1989

@minxsblog

@heidimoreton

@laylasbunbunny

@laylasbunbunny

@queenshelby

@camilleholland89

@forgottenpeakywriter

@vintagecherryt

@indierockgirrl

@mrkdvidal1989

@bluesongbird

@dudde-44

@gasolinesavages

@kissforvoid

@bluebird592

@1eugenia1isabella1

@esposadomdp

@lulunalua23

@lovelace42

@bookklover23

@iwantmyredvelvetcupcake

@moonmaiden1996

@marlenamallowan

@cyphah (cannot tag)

@majesticcmey

@cleverzonkwombatsludge

@throughgoeshamilton

@alessioayla

@elenavampire21

@justforfiction

@cilliansangel

@alannielaraye

@satellitelh

@pandoramyst

@duckybird101

@snixx2088

@kylianswag

@alessioayla

@pono-pura-vida

@iraisbored69

@howling-wolf97

@aesthetic0cherryblossom

@weirdo-rules

@lovemissyhoneybee

@dazaiscum

@esposadomd

@etherealkistar

@ur--mommy

@throughgoeshamilton

@celverzonkwombatsludge

@cyphah

@atomicsouldcollecto

[birthdaysentiment]

alex and henry + pet names for each other

RED, WHITE & ROYAL BLUE (2023) — dir. Matthew Lopez

[red-write-hand]

12 days of Cill-mas Masterlist

Here is gonna be the working list of all my 12 days of Cill-mas. Everyday will be split between naughty and nice. It goes Fluff, Smut, Fluff…etc. Green means Fluff and Red means Smut.

Day One: I’ll be home for Christmas: Thomas Shelby

Day Two: Santa Baby: Jackson Rippner

Day Three: White Christmas: Neil Lewis

Day Four: Winter Wonderland: Kitty Braden

Day Five: It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Robert Fischer

Day Six: Dick in a Box (technically a christmas song-): “Pig” Darren

Day Seven: The Christmas Song: Oppenheimer

Day Eight: Let it Snow! Let it Snow!: Jonathan Crane

*The very fun parts. These will be a mix of fluffy smut with more than one character (doesn’t have to be a Cillian character)*

Day Nine: God Rest Ye All Gentlemen: Jonathan Crane + Jackson Rippner

Day Ten: It’s Beginning to look a lot like Christmas: Thomas Shelby (he takes a whole ‘nother chapter to himself)

Day Eleven: Wonderful Christmastime: Robert Fischer + most of the Dream Crew TM

Day Twelve: Happy Holidays: Thomas Shelby (we all knew he would finish it out)

And the bigggggg announcement…all y’all are gonna fight it out for 13-25. Everyday. A different poll. Either smut or fluff. If you have a specific idea, send it into my inbox! I do have six extra days after Christmas just for that!

LET THE CHRISTMAS GAMES BEGIN

tag list: @birminghamshelbyboys @blueeyesandaflatcap @forgottenpeakywriter @henrywintersdearestgirl @pinguwrites @aphroditeslover11 @thatwitchybitch420 @no-fooking-fighting @cilldistilled @cillianmurphyadmirer @cillianmurphyswifesblog @mrkdvidal1989 @ninja-potato-shelby-solomons @atsv-enthusiast

[look-at-the-soul]

The Photoshoot - Part 50

Cillian Murphy series 2014, 2015

I’m sorry for not posting this sooner! Sometimes time flies and when I realize it’s boom 🤯 a month went by… but my love for these two will always make me enjoy the most for each part. And I can’t believe this story reached part 50!!?!! Like how ?

Ps. Happy birthday Cill 💙✨

Word count: 3,628

Cillian waved at the crew team as they left him in front of his hotel. As it got chiller, he shivered and walked into the small convinience store to get a bottle of water, strolling through the aisles, he found a stuffed duck and immediately thought of Scout, he loved ducks. As he walked past some people, he was aware of the glances and deep down he knew the reason.

The infamous Thomas Shelby haircut.

“Hello you.” He greeted his wife after answering his phone.

“Hey baby, how have you been?” Yael’s voice spread softly to his heart.

“Missing you like crazy.” He admitted realizing he probably sounded corny.

“Well I miss you more.”

Cillian placed the phone between his shoulder and cheek to grab something.

“Give me a sec.” He managed to make it to the register balancing the items in his arms and politely asked the cashier if she could cut the tag from the stuffed animal.

“What was that?” Yael chuckled softly.

“I’m buying some stuff.” He put his wallet in his back pocket and made it out of the store. “How’s it going? How are you ladies doing?”

“I took Mum to a yoga class and then we had breakfast at this cute little café and more ladies stuff.” She explained and he could easily imagine her playing with one of her curls with a beautiful smile on her lips.

“Oh tell me more about that girls stuff.” He stopped at the red light, checking the signal to cross the street.

“We’re getting manis and pedis later.” He loved hearing her laugh. “And oh! Yesterday when we were walking, we found an antiques shop…”

“Oh shit.” He interrupted in a playful tone.”

“Stop it.” She giggled.

“And what gorgeous rare-to-find item did you discover this time?” Cillian asked not being able to stop the smile from growing in his lips. He knew Yael too damn well.

“A painting.” Yael replied shyly. “And I immediately fell in love with it.” She rushed to explain to cover for her excitement.

Cillian laughed, seeing already the scene in his mind. His wife had a weakness for antiques, but he had to admit she had a good taste.

“It’s beautiful and the frame it’s the original, took me a while to properly clean it.” She continued.

“I bet you didn’t stop until getting it hanged.”

“Actually I didn’t, still trying to decide what’s the right place.” He heard Scout barking in the background. “How’s the scouting going?”

“Grand, grand… later we’re going somewhere else, we need some scenes by the river and the caravans look fucking phenomenal.” He explained.

The project was around the corner and he tensed his shoulders involuntarily at the thought of embarking once more into the character’s chaos.

“I can’t wait to see everything up.”

“Alright baby, I’ll let you go to your pedi time, call you later.” Cillian told her that he love her and walked into the store trying to keep a low profile.

He needed to pick up the gift he ordered for Yael.

***

“Mrs. Lieberman, Mrs. Murphy welcome.” The social worker asked them to take their seats. “Let’s see,” she seemed to focus on a sheet before her, the desk had a pile of folders and papers organized with colorful post it. “I understand you traveled for this appointment.”

“Yes, my home is in London.” Isla crossed her leg. “But right now I’m staying with my daughter.”

“I see.”

It was hard to tell anything from Mrs. O’Brien’s expression. Her lips were in a tight line and Yael always felt uneasy, not knowing if she was sharing too much or if she shouldn’t have said that.

“Would you like to tell me about your family and the dynamic you share?”

As Isla went on to talk about her children, talked about how they traveled frequently to be together as much as they could and then she shared a small snippet of a birthday party she held for one of her grandchildren.

“So how would an adoption blend into this? How do you feel about that?”

Although the question was meant to set anyone back and make you question yourself, Isla managed to pull a great comeback.

“Do you mean if I’d love that children less because it’s not biologically my grandchild?” She asked openly and when she saw the social worker nod, she went on. “My husband picked me up from the ground when I was at my lowest point emotionally and economically, for months I saw my daughter struggling with physical therapy to recover from the accident and surgery after surgery and not only that, he took my children as his own and loved us unconditionally, the same goes for our grandchildren. He never made one single comment about not being linked by blood or sharing DNA with any of them, I wouldn’t know how to love Yael and Cillian’s child any other way.”

Yael had to fight back the tears that formed in her eyes. There it was, the woman who always inspired her, opening her heart to say just what she thought.

“To me,” Isla continued. “It’s not about sharing the same genetics… it’s something deeper than that, it’s about choosing to love, care and protect for another human being without waiting anything in return and I know this takes a lot of time and steps but I can assure you my daughter and her husband will be the most loving parents if you give them the chance.”

Quietly, Yael excused herself and walked out of the office, she wasn’t needed there anyways. Emotions were suffocating her and it was impossible to prevent it. Perhaps it was the fact that Cillian was away, or her Mother’s words that touched her heart. But either way, she needed a break, to keep her guard down and trust the process and its own time. But who was she trying to fool? It was damn hard and sometimes it felt like it would never happen.

“This has been extremely hard for my daughter, the process is wearing her out, but I understand this is not like going to the grocery shop and picking a kid. I know it takes time and you’ve to follow protocols and forms, but trust me, she’s the most loving person I know and motherhood has always been her biggest dream.”

“We cannot base the approval on that Mrs. Lieberman, we need to check background, records, psychology tests… we’re talking about a vulnerable child’s life.”

Isla nodded, not wanting to upset the social worker.

“May I ask how long does it takes to finalize?”

The social worker shuddered. “It can be months… even years.”

Isla’s heart shattered by the statement. She wanted to keep a positive spirit, but the time frame wasn’t very helpful.

“That long? And there’s nothing you can do?”

The social worker shook her head. “We’ve to complete each step.”

“But there are so many kids in orphanages.” She had seen it first hand, since the following day she arrived, they went to give away the books Yael bought for the children, spent hours there reading to them. It was bittersweet, but she was grateful for sharing a moment like that with her daughter.

Yael wasn’t doing it just to look good for the adoption process, she was doing it because she learned it filled her heart and soul, because she wanted to make those kids happy.

“I just wish you get everything you need to approve their adoption, they’re eager to welcome their child into their happy little family.”

“We want nothing but the very same.”

Ending the meeting, Isla went to search for her daughter. Her heart beating faster, she just wanted the best for Yael and Cillian.

“There you’re sweetie, shall we go somewhere?”

“Yes, I need some fresh air.” Yael helped her put in her coat and the pair went to the parking lot.

“I probably shouldn’t have stormed off like that.” Yael regretted her reaction.

“Don’t worry about that, the interview was meant to be just for me, and this is draining.”

“But they seem to be monitoring everything, every little thing you do and say.” Yael waited for her green light to take a turn.

“I know you and you’re probably tired of hearing this, but try to take this one step at the time, be patient. I’m sure the reward is around the corner.”

Yael knew her mother’s words were filled with the best intentions, but it was just like telling someone grieving to not feel sad about losing someone they love.

“Let’s focus on something else sweetheart, let’s go to clear our heads for a bit.” Isla proposed, worried about her daughter, she wanted to do something to cheer her up.

“Yeah, we’ve the appointment at the salon already.”

“Yes, that’s a wonderful idea.”

Yael took a deep breath. “I don’t want to tell Cill about this just yet. He needs to focus on his next project and this isn’t exactly a major step or something that tells me we’re getting good news soon.”

Yael took a U turn at the next available exit, following the instructions in the GPS.

As she was driving, her phone started ringing and Cillian’s face appeared on the screen.

“Hey handsome, I was thinking of you.”

“I got a notification marked as urgent that you left somewhere, are you alright?”

“Yeah, we just finished the interview with the social worker and I’m taking Mum for a walk. It’s the app I downloaded for you, it keeps you updated of where am I and stuff like that.”

“Oh so I can spy on you?” He joked and made Isla chuckled. “How did it go?”

Yael took a deep breath before answering her husband. “I hope well.”

“I’m sure of it.” He offered through the phone. “Why don’t you go to the movies to shake it off?” Cillian proposed.

Yael gasped at the suggestion. “That’s a great idea!”

“Yeah.” He added thinking how it had been a while since they went out. Lately he had been focusing on the script and nothing else, he felt bad because as he was getting more and more engrossed on the role, he started to grow apart from his wife. And although she never pointed it out, now that her mother was around, he was noticing the difference.

She was so supportive of each of his projects and with the adoption process, he wanted to make sure they were still connected.

“Listen, I’ve been thinking… why don’t start planning a holiday during Christmas? Or by the time I finish filming? Let’s go wherever you want, hmm?”

“Oh that’s really nice!” Isla agreed, noticing the smile on her daughter’s lips.

“I’d love that.” A few days away just the two of them? Yael was already looking forward to it.

“Alright, it’s settled then, I’m heading to the set now, let me know when you get home.”

“Will do.” Telling Cillian, she loved him, Yael hang up.

“He’s amazing.” Isla expressed, getting out of the car, as they arrived at the salon.

“I can’t wait for that holiday already, I feel like he’s been rehearsing since forever.”

She wanted nothing but have a good rest and not worry about anything else.

“Hello, welcome.” A woman greeted them and asked if they had an appointment.

Yael left her purse by a chair and started checking the nail colors options.

“You look so much alike!” The woman pointed at Isla and Yael in shock. “It’s like you did copy-paste.”

Yael blushed, she was so used to get those kind of reactions, specially now that her mother was sporting her natural curls freely.

Another woman at the salon pointed out the same in awe.

“Thanks. We hear that a lot.” Yael chuckled.

“So who’s Isla?” A kind smile appeared on her face just as a woman that was getting a haircut turned from her chair.

“That’d be me.” Yael’s mother replied waving her hand.

“Isla?” The woman turned around to face. “Isla is that you?”

“Barbara?” Her mother asked cautiously.

Yael looked the exchange with confusion.

“Oh my God I can’t believe it’s you!” Isla covered her mouth with her hands.

As the two women moved to closer to hug, Yael stared at the scene trying to understand the story behind their familiarity.

“It’s been what? A lifetime.” Isla continued.

“I can’t remember the last time I saw you, but after all this time, you still look the same.”

Then, Isla looked around, noticing her daughter’s stare. “Goodness! Let me introduce you to my daughter, Yael, she’s my youngest.”

“Nice to meet you.” Yael greeted the woman.

“She’s Barbara, I used to babysit her and her sister. I was in my early 20’s.” Isla explained her daughter. “And one day, I never saw you again.”

“She looks just like you.” Barbara admitted. “You knew they took us to a government facility?”

Isla gasped in shock. “So it was true.”

“After a few months, someone adopted my sister and I never saw her again, she was only five years old back then, I waited but when I turned eighteen they kicked me out.” Barbara explained.

“You never saw her again?” Isla asked, her heart breaking in the process.

“No, I’ve been searching for her for so many years with no luck.”

“Uhm excuse me? We’ve a full agenda, could we continue while you catch up?” The hairstylist pointed at Bárbara’s wet hair.

“Sorry! Yes.” She stretched her arm towards Isla. “Mind if we go somewhere after we’re done here?”

Isla nodded, feeling like a knot installed in her stomach.

***

Cillian stood in the middle of Arley Hall mesmerized. The place was magnetic, beautiful and oozed this old vibe mansion in every corner.

“What do you think?” Steven asked, standing next to him.

“It’s amazing.” He turned around and moved away just as some crew walked past them with some furniture.

“They’re closing it to the public while we’re filming.” Steven stood there watching everything with his hands on his hips and a smile on his face.

“Are we filming everywhere?” Cillian crossed his arms imagining the scenes in this place, it was a luxury property and according to the script this was Tommy’s ultimate dream house, where he officially kick off and gets what he always wanted.

His ambitions finally materializing, his dreams becoming a reality.

Oh, but the price Tommy would have to pay…

Cillian wandered around. He learned it had been once the home of a wealthy family, it was spacious, the view to the garden was fantastic, part of the house included a cellar, and the second floor was as incredible as the first one, but for the upstairs part, they had constructed a replica on one of the sets.

As he kept walking, he arrived at the kitchen area one floor below, he had never seen something like that, it was rustic and had a huge pantry and an area where they kept the meat stored.

It was a dream, he was practically drooling over it. It was so easy to get lost and imagine how everything would look as soon as the crew got it ready for filming. Walking around, he ended in the dining room, a couple of important scenes would be filmed there.

“I think this needs something else, but I don’t know what.” Steven joined him.

It oozed luxury, it was elegant. The chandeliers sparkled, curtains with fabric that looked so expensive. Cillian imagined the kind of life the previous owners carried before it was purchased as wedding venue and a place open to the public to visit.

“A painting.” Cillian suggested casually. “A huge arse portrait.”

Steven turned around to stare at Cillian, eyes wide open as the realization hit him hard and fast.

“Yes, right there in the back of the main seat.”

Cillian nodded, hands hiding inside his pockets. It was involuntary, but it was part of the essence of his character. He couldn’t help it.

“Can your wife be in charge?”

He nodded quietly.

“Give her a call.”

But he didn’t need to do so. Because his phone started ringing in that very moment and it was Yael.

“Hello beautiful, I was just about to call you.”

“You’ve to sit down, you’re not going to believe this.” Yael started off. She sounded like there was something important she wanted to tell him.

“What’s the matter? Is everything fine?” Quietly he decided to take a walk outside, away from someone listening.

”Mum and I were at the salon, right? So when they call her name, this woman immediately recognized Mum and went to greet her, they chat for a bit. Long story short my Mum used to babysit Barbara -the woman-, when they were younger but one day she and her sister were taken away and she never saw them again.”

Cillian listened carefully, waiting for his wife to tell him the full story.

“Barbara is the Director of the child services office.” She explained him, his heart started beating faster. “She took us to her office, took a look at our records, studies, everything,” Cillian heard her taking a deep breath, “babe, it turns out we were in some kind of blacklist.”

Silence filled the call, Cillian inhaled deeply. “Why?”

“This is horrible but… have you noticed how celebrities go to places like Nigeria or Africa to adopt?”

Cillian kicked a rock he found on his way, processing that piece of information. “Yeah?”

“I don’t know about the adoption process over there, but apparently it’s easier, no questions asked and overnight, they’ve a child, we’ll thanks to that, the kind of surroundings to these celebrities lifestyle they practically catalogued us in that list so we’d never ever get the adoption finalized.” Yael’s words came out rushed.

Cillian felt a vein in his temple pulsing. “Are you telling me because I’m an actor, they practically rejected our application without telling us?”

The realization of his own words made his heart sink to the ground. Not getting the chance to move forward with the adoption process and his wife’s sadness was his fault?

Misery took over him.

“Hold on, I know what you’re thinking.” Yael interrupted his thoughts. “Not everything is as bad as it seems, this woman, Barbara she told us, basically… she’s going to help us! I asked her what do we’ve to do in order to be out of the blacklist and she gave me hope Cill, she explained us a lot of things no one told us about and I understand the reasons why they just can’t give kids to whoever starts a process, but she said literally I know your Mother, and she was always kind to me and my sister, she gave us food when we had nothing, she shared her clothes with us too, I can imagine the kind of daughter she raised.”

Emotion took over her voice, it was impossible not to feel everything right in the surface.

“How are we so sure that they won’t make it harder because of what I do for a living?” He was still processing the impact his career had, never thought it would be a negative reason in the adoption.

“She assured us she’d take our case personally.”

Despite Yael’s words, Cillian still felt doubtful now. Feeling guilty that he was the reason of not being able to adopt a child.

“So what are we supposed to do now? We’ve been begging them for the interviews.”

Yael had been calling almost daily to get the appointments, and now he was able to understand why the process had been so hard, they were trying to push them back.

“Barbara told me she’d give me a call, but I guess we’ve to wait to hear the next steps.”

When her mother told her what the social worked mentioned during her interview, Yael felt deflated. Hearing the process could take years to finalize shattered her heart. But now there was a new chance to move things forward with Barbara behind their case.

Cillian stared into the huge garden, not paying attention to anything in particular.

“Are you still there?” His wife’s voice made him snap back into reality.

“Yeah… just thinking.”

He really wanted to feel her new enthusiasm and positivism, but he also couldn’t help but feel worried, what if they have to face new challenges in the process, all this bureaucracy because of his job? He wasn’t sure to be able to deal with the guilt of knowing that because of him the process could be harder or take longer than usual because he needs to prove that he isn’t like most of Hollywood stars.

This whole thing was a roller coaster, sometimes it was Yael the one feeling down, now it was his turn while she had her hopes up. He hated to admit it but it was draining.

“If you hear anything back, call me yeah? Or text me.” He added after a few seconds, not wanting to drag her down because of his attitude.

“Absolutely.”

“Listen, Steven wants to do some photos, so I think I’m going to change my flight… your Mum is already flying back, why don’t you come with her?”

Yael took her time, to consider her options. “How many days?”

“Just a couple, to get a few photos done.”

“Okay, let me organize my planner and see how can I reorganize the things I’ve scheduled and also I need someone to look after Scout.”

“I’ll call my brother, don’t worry.” He went on walking again, sitting on the edge of the fountain. “I really want to see you.”

She wanted the same, needed to feel him close.

Tag list: @lyarr24 @garrison-girl-08 @lespendy @onlydeadcells @fastfan

@winchestergirl22 @stevie75 @prettylittlehoneyeyesxoxo @esposadomd @strayrockette

@forbidden-forest-witch @elenavampire21 @forgottenpeakywriter @blondie-22 @thenattitude

@moral-terpitude @babaohhhriley @queenshelby @ange-thoughts @shaddixlife

@sloanexx @cilliansangel (cant tag) @rangerelik @already-broken144 @alessioayla

@paprikabadger @dolllol2405 @conversationpits @itsilvermorny @lafell

@imichelle-l-rigby @yrli8 @cutecurly-hair @cillspropertea @hyperfixationsonshuffle

@sydneyyyya (can’t tag) @abbymcguire @shelundeadxxxx @elk96 @pono-pura-vida

@lovemissyhoneybee @slimeantha (can’t tag) @kmc1989 @ironpen

[ellisthomaslavigne]

Cillian' s subtle tooth gaps on each side of his smile... Drives me absolutely crazy because of how adorable it is... Just saw his smile in an Interview for Red Lights Madrid premiere... And i thought i absolutely needed to sketch that!!!

Here's the excerpt i pulled the scene from... posted by Cill-i-am on Twitter!

[xsweetcatastrophe]

You Broke Me First

Part 15

Zoe woke up a couple hours later, feeling slightly better and very relaxed.

Her eyes scanned the room - she was still wrapped up in the same spot, on the comfiest bed she's ever been in. She rolled onto her back and stretched her legs and arms as well, reaching them up over her head. Cillian stirred besides her.

"What time is it?" Zoe rasped out.

Cillian reached over and checked his phone. The TV was still on, casting some light in the dark room. The storm was still raging outside.

"It's 4:30" He replied, setting his phone down.

"Did you get a chance to sleep?" Zoe asked.

Cillian smiled. "Yea, until your snoring woke me up"

Zoe looked mortified. "I do NOT snore!"

Cillian laughed. "I should have recorded you"

"You better not!!" Zoe said, lightly pushing his shoulder. Cillian laughed. He looked over at her. "Relax. I wouldn't do that. And yes I slept a bit. I got up to make a cup of tea. I would of asked you, but you were out like a light"

Zoe smiled. "It's easy when this bed is so comfy. I can't believe you get to sleep in this every night. This is heaven"

Cillian broke his smile, and looked back at the TV. Zoe noticed, Did I say something wrong? she wondered.

"You hungry?" Cillian said, sitting up. "We can order some food. Want some Chinese? There's a place I order from that has the best egg rolls"

Zoe sat up, and ran her fingers through her hair. "Cill, I feel like a freeloader staying here all day. It's not fair to you. I already stayed way too long and you've been very kind when you didn't need to-"

"But I want you to stay" Cillian said, turning around.

Zoe looked shocked. "You do?"

"Yea.... and plus, we have an episode of succession to catch up on, remember?" Cillian said, hopefully.

Zoe smiled. "okay fine. You grab the takeout menu, i'll get HBO up and running."

Forty five minutes later, they had a bed picnic of chicken and broccoli, lo mein, crab rangoon and egg rolls. Succession was playing while they were quietly eating, passing back and forth the takeout containers between them.

They both didn't want to address the elephant in the room.

the elephant being the fact this arrangement was coming to an end in a month and a half, and they were starting to enjoy each other's company. They were acting like a couple when they were in fact NOT a couple. They had to act like a couple when they were out in public; not in the confines of their own homes. Sure, they had to get to know each other, but calling Cillian wasted and him picking Zoe up and taking care of her all night and morning was a move reserved for people more than just "acquaintances."

That's what Zoe was scared of; He would move on after this arrangement was done and he'd go to live his life, date the models, walk the red carpets, and she'll just be a blip in his past. She'll always come up as a girl he dated; that is what she'll be known for. Cillian Murphy's ex girlfriend. Where does she go from here? Sure, she has a job; but what about her reputation? Did she ruin it? Would any job she gets be because of her talent, and not because of who she dated? Would anyone want to date her after this or would she be labeled as "too much baggage"? Would she still be followed by people wanting to take her picture?

Zoe put down her fork and took a sip of the glass of water on the bedside table. She noticed her phone next to the glass; still on the charger but still off. She knew had to turn it on eventually, but she kind of liked being disconnected from everyone. She felt like she was in a bubble with Cillian, and no one could get to them.

She grabbed her phone and turned on the power button.

I'm just going to text Dana and let he know I'm alive, Zoe thought. Then I'm turning it right back off.

Sure enough, there were some texts and missed calls from Dana, some texts not making sense (they were from last night) and many from this morning, stating the usual hungover texts.

I'm never drinking again I feel like I got hit by a truck Text me when you get this, so i know you're good

Zoe sent her a quick text, letting her know she was okay and that she, too, felt like shit. She powered her phone back down, but not without noticing some texts from her mom.

Not strong enough for that right now, Zoe thought.

Cillian began to collect the takeout containers and bring them downstairs to the trash. Zoe got out of the bed and smoothed out the blanket, brushing off any crumbs that might be left over.

She didn't want to admit it, but she was thoroughly enjoying herself. When she would sit and think about her future, she always pictured days like this with her husband; rainy, cozy days in bed, under the covers, sleeping, kissing, watching TV.

She didn't think she'd be doing this with Cillian Murphy.

Cillian came back as soon as Zoe was finishing cleaning the blanket. She half thought since they were done eating, he would offer to have Joseph drive her home. Instead, he got back in bed and resumed his position that he had all afternoon.

Zoe crawled back in bed, resting her head against the soft pillows. She turned to face him.

"so....." Zoe said. She didn't know what she was saying. The silence was killing her. She felt there was tension in the room. She didn't know what from, she just knew something felt off.

"So...." Cillian repeated, also not sure what to say.

After about 10 seconds of awkward silence, they both looked at each other and laughed. Cillian scooted down and lay on his side, facing her. They were inches away, staring at each other.

"So are you always this accommodating to the drunk ladies you score on the weekends?" Zoe said, instantly regretting it. that's the best I can come up with? I sound like such a loser.

"The ladies I score on the weekends? You think I'm that good huh?" Cillian chuckled. "Drunk ladies aren't my thing. And I much rather be home. I'm not one for going out every night. I'm past that phase in my life."

"Then why'd you come get me then? You could of easily just hung up or not answered when I called."

Cillian smiled softly. "Because I care. Contrary to what you believe. And whenever you call... i'll always answer."

Zoe smiled again. "You have a funny way of showing you care... sometimes"

"... Because everyone I ever cared about like this, left."

Zoe's heart broke. He cared. She cared. They both care. And they both shouldn't.

"What's going to happen when this is done?" Zoe whispered.

Cillian sighed. "I guess we... go our separate ways"

Zoe felt a lump in her throat. Through all the bullshit that happened, she develop feelings for Cillian. She didn't want to admit it, but she did. And the fact that there's a timeline on their relationship made her feel anxious. She wanted to soak up every second with him while she could. She just needed to be sure, 100000% sure, beyond a reasonable doubt, that they were on the same page.

"Cillian" Zoe said, bravely. Just do it. Say it.

"Hm?"

"I..." Zoe started, voice now faltering.

Cillian smiled, and rested his hand on her cheek.

"i know."

He knows? knows what?

"No, let me just say it." Zoe said. She was so sick of letting things go unsaid.

"As much as you drive me crazy, and the shit you pulled last night at my apartment... I can't stop thinking about you. You're like the breath of fresh air I needed. I find myself looking forward to Sundays when you come over, and every time I hear my phone go off, i hope it's you. I just... I don't know. I know we shouldn't of, and this was all just supposed to be an agreement, but I can't help it."

Cillian smiled, hand still on her cheek. "I know."

I know? I know?? What does that mean? He feels the same way? or he can tell how I feel? Why are men so vague??

"Last night, when I left your apartment after I ... you know" Cillian said, rolling his eyes. Zoe couldn't help but giggle. It was so stupid what he did.

"I came home, and I came up here, and put on HBO and had every intention of finishing the episode we started. But I couldn't"

"Why?" Zoe asked.

Cillian's demeanor softened, if it could get any softer. "I didn't want to watch it without you. It's a little bit of you I look forward to every week. It didn't feel right. I wanted to watch it with you."

Zoe smiled. "Well, It's been on and we've been missing it this entire time" She whispered.

"Cillian smiled. "This is better" His thumb softly rubbing against her cheek. He sighed. "You make me very nervous" He continued.

"You terrify me" Zoe replied. That caught Cillian off guard.

"Wow. Haven't been called that before" he chuckled.

"Sorry," Zoe said, mentally kicking herself for saying another dumb thing. "It's just... I haven't been treated very kindly by guys... ever."

"And I've been left." Cillian whispered back. "Discarded to the side like it's nothing."

"It's their loss. It's her loss" Zoe said. Cillian froze for a second, picking up on Zoe saying "her"; she meant his ex wife. When will it not be a sore subject? When will he forgive himself?

Zoe reached out and put her hand on his cheek as well, mirroring his hand on her. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. Zoe scooted even closer to him, his hand falling from her cheek to under the covers, resting on her hip. Their chests slightly bumping every time they breathed, noses slightly brushed up against each other. Zoe could stay here forever.

"Zoe" Cillian whispered.

"hm?"

"Can I kiss you?"

Zoe melted. "Yes"

Cillian lifted his head and his lips met hers.

There was no electrifying feeling from the kiss. There was no butterflies. No one got weak in the knees, and no one had their breath taken away.

They felt calm. They relaxed into each other. The heaviness that weighed on their chest was suddenly gone. They felt weightless, like they could float away.

Zoe kissed him back, slowly parting her lips and letting his tongue meet hers. He deepened the kiss and squeezed her hip. He pulled away but still close enough to have their lips touch.

"Stay the night with me" He whispered.

Zoe smiled back at him.

"I don't mean it like that," Cillian immediately said, realizing the position they were in. "I just... I just don't want this to end. I want you close to me"

Zoe smiled and gave him another kiss.

How could she ever leave?

tags: @lau219 @wolfieellsworld @shopgirl6us

[sugawhaaa]

Felix X reader

{Part. 2}

"Just friends."

Pairing::bodyguard!Felix x famous!fem!reader

Warnings::little tiny bit suggestive at the end

A/N:: sorry this took so damn long to finish I just kept writing it in little pieces 🧍

Taglist:: @binnies-minsung-fanclub @btsarmy-7s-world

You woke up the next morning and it took you a long while to remember what was going on. A man in your bed? In someone else's bed? Oh yeah…

You essentially regained conscious but laid in bed trying to fully awaken. Then you felt the warm presences behind you vanish and the sound of Felix groaning as the sheets fumbled around. You listen to the sound of his heavy footsteps heading for the bathroom. When you heard the door shut you looked at your phone, 11am and 20 million messages from your mother.

You sat up in your bed, blankets still covering you as you read your mother's messages. To sum it up she said you have free rain today. As long as Felix is by your side and you don't get lost etc. She trusts you finally, at the age of 18. You turned your phone off and set it on the nightstand and looked over at Felix's side of the bed. His pillow ruffled, phone unplugged, and the few things on his nightstand either gone or moved.

You assumed he had been awake for a while. You sighed and looked up at the ceiling. What are we going to do today? You thought to yourself when you heard the door open. Felix stepped out with his hair a mess, fluffy and chaotic. In his hand he had some cream it looked like, he probably used it on his face considering how shiny it looked.

"Oh she's awake," he smiled as he walked over to you.

"Sort of..." you groaned as you slid back down into the blankets. Felix chuckled and started trying to work out the coffee machine. Eventually he got it figured out and asked you if you'd like some. You nodded and thanked him before getting up and stretching. "I don't know if my mom told you but we can pretty much do whatever today,"

After that you and Felix had a pleasant coffee party at the window cill. You then checked a bag that your mother dropped off for you. It had a lot of food but nothing really breakfast worthy. You informed Felix of this and he told you that there's a very nice breakfast joint nearby but you'd have to take the city bus there. You agreed to eat out there and started getting dressed and dolled up.

"I've never been on a city bus without my parents before," you said as you curled your hair.

"Really?" Yongbok said as he brushed his own hair. You finished a curl of your hair and nodded.

"I hardly know how to even use it," you laughed awkwardly. As you and Felix walked to the subway station he explained the basics about it and you caught on quickly. When on the train it was a little awkward but you managed to survive and arrive at your destination. A big city with lots of people and shops. You took it all in with one big deep breath before looking up at Felix. "So where do we go from here?" You smiled as you tilted your head.

"O-Oh we just went over this way a bit. It's been a while since I've been here haha~" he chuckled as you made your way over to one side of the street, there you made your way over to the breakfast joynt. You walked in and it was the cutest restaurant ever! It was red and gold themed and all the seats were styled to look very cute. You picked a table near the window and sat in front of Felix, the eye contact with him making you blush. Then a waitress came over and gave you glasses of water and the menu. Felix thanked her before she left to go attend to someone else. You picked up the menu from the table in front of you and tried to gather all the English you knew. You got some basics out of it but still struggled to understand most of the food. Felix on the other hand had already decided what he wanted.

"Can you read everything alright?" He said leaning over the table closer to you. You blushed a little.

"Um not really," you chuckled and Felix described all the dishes to you in Korean. You tried your best to listen but his visuals were just too distracting. You thought to yourself about having a crush on him. He was very kind, hot, and overall a great man but the potential of this feeling being mutual was low. 

"So do you know what you want?" He smiled up at you and you panicked. 

"I think I'll get the basic um," you pointed to the English words that described what you wanted.

"Egg breakfast?" Felix read the words you were pointing at and you nodded. "Alright, now we wait for a waiter to come here." He laughed, his freckled cheeks swallowing his eyes. You awkwardly waited before the same waitress to come back and asked for your orders. Felix did all the talking for you and you thanked him. "No, no I'm happy to help and it's just my job,"

He always says "it's just my job," but he seems rather outgoing for it to be "just his job"

As you waited Felix took a selfie with you and you had some idle chit chat. Once food arrived you dug in. The food was great and you left a tip for the waitress. After leaving the dinner Felix suggested you hold his arm.

"Huh? Why?" You asked innocently not meaning any offense.

"This street is really busy and if I lose you it'll be hard to find you again," he explained before locking his arm around yours. "I hope it doesn't make you uncomfortable," he chuckles and you shake your head. As your walking through the line of shops you spot an adorable set of jeans that are big and have hearts bleached into them. Your eyes light up and you drag Felix inside with you. Felix doesn't take much liking to your fashion taste but he does appreciate the beauty of it.

You then found the size of jeans that matched you and started browsing through the store. A few cute shirts and a summer dress and you were in the dressing room. Every outfit you tried on you showed Felix and he'd always leave nice and some honesty. But after he did mention something he'd say "I don't think that color looks great but get it if you'd like of course~♡" You greatly appreciated his kindness until.

You were in the dressing room and you bent over to get the next shirt you were going to try on when you felt your bra give out. You thought the band had just come undone but when you slid your hand up your shirt you notice it was broken. You panicked for a moment when Felix knocked on the door.

"Everything okay?"

You stumbled over some words and ideas before replying "I'm gonna let you in but promise not to freak out," you said before quickly opening the door and slipping him inside.

"So what's the problem?" He asked innocently.

"Well you see...my bra broke. I think..." you blushed as he thought for a moment. "And they don't sell any here so don't think about that either..." you bit your lip in stress.

"Here take it off and you can use my jacket to cover yourself until we get back to the hotel," he said calmly. He was very relaxed and had everything under control. He turned around and let you change and take off your bra. He handed you his jacket and you slipped it on with embarrassment.

The jacket smelt like him. It was warm and smelt of coconut? Maybe some oatmilk in there. You discreetly smelt his jacket before he left to pay for your items. You followed him out to the counter and you gave him your card. One swipe later and you had all these cute clothes! You thanked him for taking you out for a treat and he said it was really no problem and he enjoyed the time out too.

On the way home he held your bags and you got tired of standing on your feet so you called one of your parents personal drivers and got him to pick you and Yongbok up. The two of you sat on a bench as you wrapped Felix's jacket around you. It was quite awkward. You just sat there slowly swaying your feet as Felix's blonde hair blew in the wind. The view was beautiful. You were admiring it when a car pulled up to the two of you.

The two of you got in and drove back to the hotel. Once you got inside you changed your clothes and laid down on the bed. Face into the pillows. You then felt some weight on the bed next to you. "Tired?" Felix said softly.

"Yeah," you groaned back. "I just wanna relax for a bit," you mumble. Felix understood and laid down next to you while looking through his phone. His presence relaxed you, but you also felt butterflies around him. Like stage fright but different but you don't want him to go away! You felt your cheeks getting hot as you day dreamed about him.

"Everything alright dear?" He asked as he leaned forward.

"Y-yeah just trailing out into thought haha~" you sat up and grabbed a book from your suitcase. You sat next to Felix on the bed and started reading.

"Watcha reading?" He asked leaning over to look at your book.

"Merupuri," you smiled.

"I've never heard of that series. What's it about?" He seemed interested and he set his phone down.

"It's about a prince who runs into this girl but he's in a whole new world. Before getting banished into earth he had a curse laid upon him. He is very young but when in darkness he grows older. About 10 years older." You explain and Felix keeps listening to you. "It's the girls job to watch over him because she picked up this magic mirror thingy haha~ the way to break the curse is to kiss the boy but she's love sick and saving her first kiss for the boy she truly loves,"

"I see she's playing hard to get," Felix chuckles.

"Pretty much. In the end the girl falls in love with the boy and breaking the curse. It's kind of like a forbidden love." You smile at him.

"Sounds like a cute story," Felix smiles before going back to his phone. He was scrolling through Pintrest and saving the occasional photo.

"This is kinda weird but do you want to play a boardgame?" You said as you set down your book.

"Sure, anything you want dear," he turned off his phone and set it aside. The two of started playing dominon on the floor of the hotel and the first round didn't last long but the second round went on for at least 2 hours. The two of you had plenty snacks while playing but it got to a point where you needed something like a dinner. Felix ordered some door dash for you and it wasn't long before the two of you dug into the food.

This whole trip Felix had been treating you like a princess and it had your heart fluttering. As Felix was cleaning up the garbage from dinner in his skinny jeans and baggy tank top. There was a knock on the door. You got up and unlocked the door to see your parents. Your mom gave you a big hug.

"Did Felix treat you good today?" She said with a smile.

"Yup, he spoiled me," you chuckled.

"Oh good, good," she said before kissing your cheeks. She then looked at Felix and gestured for him to come over. She gave him a little hug and gave him his paycheck. "There's a little tip in there too," she smiled in her boogie fur jacket. Felix bowed and thanked her before your parents went back to their own room.

"I'm getting quite tired despite how early it is," you sighed as you laid on the bed.

"Then go rest," Yongbok smiled.

"But I will wake up at like 5am," you chuckled as you felt Felix's presences behind you.

"I'm going to get changed don't turn around," he said out of no where.

"Oh-okay," you chuckled.

"Why do you sound so distraught?" Felix said softly.

"You just surprised me. I didn't expect you to say that," you giggled as your feet swayed in the air.

"I trust you, I mean there's not much to look at anyways," he said before clearing his throat. "But um, do you mind if I keep my shirt off? I don't know what it is but I'm so hot" he said awkwardly.

"Sure, why don't we turn the AC up," you began to stand up before Felix spoke.

"I still don't have pants on!" He said with panic.

"Sorry I forgot," you said before stuffing your head in the pillow to cover up the blush on your face. You heard him put on some shorts and he walked over to the AC.

"You can look now," he said as he pressed some of the buttons on the air conditioner. You rolled over and looked at his back. His bare skin turned you on way more than you'd like to admit. "Is that too cold for you?" He turned around to find you staring at him.

"N-No that's just right," you smiled with pink cheeks. "I'm gonna change too, so turn around," you blushed and Felix spun around to look out the window. You changed into some pajama shorts and decided to keep your shirt off, only your bra on. "Okay I'm done," you said and started preparing for sleep. You noticed Felix blush as you bent over to pull down the sheets, your cleavage exposed.

"I uhm I need to go the bathroom," he said as he started heading for the bathroom, "I'll be right back," he shut the door behind him and you laid down in the sheets.

When Felix returned he went on the opposite side of the bed and turned off the lamp. "Goonight love," he said and you felt your cheeks get hot.

"G'night felix," you said before rolling over and looking at his back again. The way it raised with every breath he took. "You have nice skin," you whispered as your hands went to touch his back.

"You think so?"

Your hands haulted at his words. He turned to look at you with big doe eyes and a smirk. He picked up your hands and caressed them softly with a gentle smile. You noticed his eyes traveling down your body before looking back at you in the eyes.

"You know I'm not just hot..."

To be continued

[aanoia]

your taylor swift song imagines give me life so I HAD to request one. Can you do something to Timeless from Speak Now TV with either james, sirius, or remus? whichever one you see fit!

I'm so happy I give you life ;) I chose James bc deep down I'm a James girl and it just fit best with him imo. I hope you like it!

Timeless

James Potter x reader words; 2230 song; Timeless by T Swizzle (TV, duh) alright y'all, this one might get a little confusing. Let me break it down for you. italics is lyrics (and two other super small things, you'll know it when you see it), italics and bold is memories, there's two memories split into three parts total, when the story starts saying would that means thats what would happen if it did, yk. You and James do die, I just wanna make that clear. if you love a song, the marauders, and my writing, request a song fic and your wish shall be my command. now, i have two things. one, you can give me requests anyone in the marauders era btw, not js the actual marauders (i'll even accept Peter because i like to think he never became evil and was always just shy little Peter). Second, GIVE ME PREFERANCES PLS they'll be good fillers for in between longer fics so please pls pls i rly want sushi rn anywho HAVE FUN

Down the block there's an antique shop

And something in my head said "stop", so I walked in

Y/n quietly walked into the small antique shop and the woman at the counter smiled kindly at her. She smiled back and gave her a small nod before looking around the shop. It was much bigger than it looked on the outside, so she assumed an enlargement spell was used on the inside. There were loads of trinkets across the many shelves, big and small.

On the counter was a cardboard box

And the sign said photos 25 cents each

Y/n’s eyes caught a bright white sign with bold red letters, “Photos 5 knuts per” she walked over to the table, curious. She thumbed through the pictures, all of them were old, as they were dusty and black and white.

Black and white saw a 30s bride and

Two lovers laughing on the porch of their first house

I smiled as I pulled out a picture of a man and woman. The man was in a nice suit, a bright happy smile on his face as he held the hand of a woman with a beautiful wedding dress on, her smile matching his. They seemed to be laughing in the picture, radiating pure joy. I turned the picture around and read the pen, “Just married! 7/24/36”

The kind of love that you only find once in a lifetime

The kind you don't put down

As Y/n flipped through more pictures, her mind wandered to James. She saw them in these pictures, together no matter the circumstance, with bright smiles on their faces and laughs leaving their lips. They’d be hopelessly in love in any universe, and she knew it.

And that's when I called you, and it's so hard to explain

But in those photos, I saw us instead

“Oh, did you stop by the antique shop?” Y/n’s mom asked as she walked in through the door, a small bag in my hand. 

Y/n nodded with a smile, “I did, it’s pretty cool in there. I’d love to talk more but I need to write James a letter.”

Her mom laughed, “All right, you go, don’t take too long though. Supper will be done soon.”

And somehow I know that you and I would've found each other

In another life you still would've turned my head

James looked up from his desk as a loud pecking noise was made on his window. He smiled as he saw his girlfriend's owl, banging his beak against the glass of his window with a letter tied to his leg and his claws clutching onto a brown package. James opened his window and let the owl in, petting him gently and placing a few pellets on the window cill for him to munch on. 

James opened the letter quickly, pausing as two black and white photos fell out. He furrowed his brows at the photos and his eyes flitted to the package. He grabbed it and untied the string, opening it quickly to find an old book, a few specks of dust on the front. He laughed to himself at the randomness and began actually reading the letter.

Even if we'd met on a crowded street in 1944

And you were headed off to fight in the war

“Off to war?” Y/n would’ve said, a laughing tone in her voice.

James would’ve nodded with a smile, “Yes. But we could write to each other, we could court and then once the war is over we’ll get married!” He‘d say excitedly.

Y/n  would have laughed, “Of course we will.”\

You still would've been mine

We would've been timeless

James would’ve been hanging halfway out of the train, the only thing keeping him in being his friends as he waved to the love of his life.

“I love you!” She’d shout and he’d blush.

“I’ll see you later, love! Don’t miss me too much!” He’d yell back, blowing her a kiss before he was forced back on the train.

I would've read your love letters every single night

And prayed to God you'd be coming home all right

“Oh, Y/n, don’t be ridiculous. James will be fine, I’m sure.” Lily would tease, smoothing down her skirt as she sat on the bed next to her best friend. 

“That’s easy for you to say, Lils, he’s not the love of your life. I don’t know what I’d do without him.” She’d say, setting his latest letter into a box that held all the other ones.

“Y/n, have faith in the man. He’s strong, he’ll make it.” Lily would persist and Y/n would nod with a sigh.

And you would've been fine, we would've been timeless

She’d run to James at the train station and he’d drop his bag and hold his arms out, catching her in an embrace and spinning her around. She’d laugh joyfully, thankful the love of her life was finally home. 

“Oh, I’m so thankful you’re okay.” She’d whisper and he’d kiss her cheek. 

“I’m thankful to be back with you, beautiful.”

'Cause I believe that we were supposed to find this

So even in a different life

You still would've been mine

We would've been timeless

James smiled at her idea, quite liking it himself. He loved listening, or in this case reading, about all her ideas. He knew how much her mind ran wild, thinking of every possibility for every little thing, and he loved it. He loved being a part of it. 

I had to smile when it caught my eye

There was one of a teenage couple in a driveway

Holding hands on the way to a dance

And the date on the back said 1958

James picked up one of the pictures and smiled at the couple, still in their wedding attire, holding hands tightly on a porch. He set the photo down, it not being the one he was looking for, and picked up the other one. He gazed at the two teenagers, almost imagining them as himself and Y/n. He could see it, and he remembered what it was like taking her to the Yule Ball. How beautiful she looked in her dress.

Which brought me back to the first time I saw you

Time stood still like something in this old shop

I thought about it as I started looking 'round

At these precious things that time forgot

Y/n and Lily walked into the train station together, hand in hand, happy to have made a friend before they even arrived at Hogwarts for their first year. Y/n giggled as Lily told her a story about one of her friends, Severus, and promised to introduce the two to each other. Y/n suddenly paused and Lily looked over, concerned.

“What is it?” Lily asked and Y/n pointed to a boy who was messing around with two other boys.

“He’s-” She paused, trying to find the right word. “Beautiful.” Lily laughed loudly and Y/n snapped her head to the side, “What?”

Lily shrugged, shaking off her laughter. “Nothing, nothing.”

That's when I came upon a book covered in cobwebs

Story of a romance torn apart by fate

Hundreds of years ago, they fell in love like we did

And I'd die for you in the same way

If I first saw your face

James looked at the book he had unwrapped and silently read the title. He hummed thoughtfully and opened the cover, leaning back slightly at the dust that filled the air. He smiled at the dedication the author gave. 

“To the love of my life. We, my dear, are timeless.” He read out loud softly. 

In the 1500s up in a foreign land

And I was forced to marry another man

You still would've been mine

We would've been timeless

“James.” Y/n would’ve said, running to him and hugging him after they were finally alone. “I don’t know what to do.” She’d cry softly as he rubbed her back gently.

“It’s okay, we’ll figure it out.” He’d say quietly, being equally as lost as her.

I would've read your love letters every single night

And run away and left it all behind

You still would've been mine

We would've been timeless

“Do you have everything?” He’d whisper outside the castle and Y/n would nod, handing James one of the bags.

“I do. Let’s go.” She’d say and throw the bag over the back of her horse, making sure it was secure as James would do the same. They’d share one last kiss before mounting their steeds and riding away as quickly as possible. By the time the castle woke up and realized the princess was gone, it’d be too late.

'Cause I believe that we were supposed to find this

So even in a different life

You still would've been mine

We would've been timeless

James laughed at her story, setting down the letter and glancing at her owl who hooted softly, waiting for something to return back to his owner. James pet the owl again before pulling out a piece of parchment, his quill, and an ink well, and immediately started writing back.

Time breaks down your mind and body

Don't you let it touch your soul

It was like an age old classic

Y/n smiled as the familiar pecking of her owl reached her ears. She rushed to her window and opened it, petting her owl gratefully and pulling the letter off his leg. Y/n sat down on her bed and practically ripped open the letter.

The first time that you saw me

The story started when you said hello

In a crowded room a few short years ago

It was third year, in the Great Hall. Y/n had spent the last two years of her life pining after the one and only James Potter, who barely even glanced at her. At least, that’s what she thought. But that couldn’t have been farther from the truth. 

“Just go talk to her already, Prongs.” Remus said quietly, patting his friend on the shoulder. 

James shook his head, “No way. I couldn't.”

“Why not?” Peter asked.

“Because Peter, she’s perfect. She’s beautiful, has perfect grades, I mean, she’s probably the smartest witch I’ve ever known, minus my mom. She’d never like someone like me.” He explained and Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Dude, you’re hot. That’s all you need, now go.”

And sometimes there's no proof, you just know

You're always gonna be mine

We're gonna be

“Hi, Y/n.” James said, standing awkwardly as the girl turned around awkwardly.

“Oh, hi, James!” She said, a small blush painting her cheeks.

“Okay, bye, Y/n.” He said, walking off and cursing to himself for messing it all up like that.

“Uh, bye, James?”

I'm gonna love you when our hair is turning gray

We'll have a cardboard box of photos of the life we made

And you'll say "Oh my"

“Aha, look what I found.” James would have said to his wife, pulling out the pictures she had sent him many, many years ago.

“Where did you find those? Did you find the book too?” She would’ve asked, a smile on her face as she would look at them. 

James would’ve shook his head, “Nope, no book. I’m not sure where that went. I found the letter though.” He’d say and pull it out as well. Y/n would smile as she reread her words.

“Oh wow, I’m such a sweetheart.” She’d say with a laugh.

“Not much anymore.” James would tease and Y/n would’ve hit his arm. “See what I mean.”

We really were timeless

We're gonna be timeless, timeless

You still would've been mine, we would've been

“Come on, Harry. I saw this shop when I was going on errands with mum.” Ginny said, pulling her boyfriend into a cute little antique shop. Harry looked around in awe at the shop.

“Why, hello there, young ones.” The lady at the front said, a warm smile on her face.

“Hello, ma’am.” Harry greeted and Ginny smiled at the old woman. 

Even if we met

On a crowded street in 1944

Still would've been mine

You would've been

“Look, pictures.” Ginny said, pulling Harry over to look through them. They sifted through them silently before Ginny pulled one out. “Harry, these look a lot like your parents.”

Harry grabbed the photo and inspected it closely, “They… they are my parents.” His eyes widened as he looked at the cost of the photo. The sign had bright red ink on it, “photo’s 5 knuts per”.

The lady at the front smiled when Harry placed the picture on the counter. She gazed at the photo and shook her head with a laugh.

“I remember when she first walked in here. Ah, it was such a long time ago. She bought a few of these and an old book, and two weeks later she brought him in. They were such a sweet couple. I wonder how they’re doing now.” The woman reminisced as she took the knuts from Harry.

Harry smiled at the woman, holding back tears, “Yeah, I wonder too.”

Down the block there's an antique shop

And something in my head said "stop", so I walked in

my masterlist

taglist (if u wanna be added js comment :));

@loving-and-dreaming @1lellykins @poetrypirate

[queenshelby]

Yes! Mr Murphy (Rewritten)

PART 25: THE VISIT

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Lots of Angst, Age Gap, Teacher x Student, Pregnancy Loss, Infertility

Cillian’s PoV (starting with a little backflash)

As soon as Dermont hung up on Cillian, Cillian jumped out of bed and got dressed. He told Kit that he had to get to the airport right away and, of course, that night, she wanted to know what was wrong.

“Did something happen with Nina?” she asked concerned but Cillian shook his head while throwing his clothes into his small carry-on suitcase.

“No. I mean yes…” he stammered while ensuring that he did not forget anything in the room, which included his tablet, wallet and travel documents.

“No? Yes?” Kit asked. “That’s not an answer Cillian!” she then said before telling him that she was going to go to the airport with him, regardless of what happened.

“Y/N is in hospital. She had surgery and I need to see her” Cillian reluctantly explained after Kit would not relent and that, of course, made her sigh with frustration.

“Jesus” Kit spat, annoyed. “What’s wrong with her?” she then asked, pretending to care but Cillian did not know as, by this point, Dermont had no idea why you collapsed.

***

The following morning and after having been denied visitation the night before, Cillian arrived at the hospital as early as possible, being 8 o’clock, the start of visitation hours.

At this time, Nina was still in bed, catching up on some well needed sleep while her aunt, Orla, looked after her.

Connie had dropped Nina back off at Cillian’s apartment last night, after he had arrived back home just around 2 o’clock and, unsurprisingly, Nina was still awake and consumed with worry about you.

Nina was traumatised by what happened the day before, making her already increasing anxiety even worse.

Despite the fact that Connie had told Nina that you were doing fine now, she wanted to visit you and Cillian’s response to this was “let’s give her some space” without admitting to his daughter that he wanted to see you on his own first.

This was because, Cillian knew that, after what Connie had told him last night, he could not take Nina to hospital with him just yet. At least not until he spoke to you and ascertained how you were feeling. Connie had indicated to him that you may have had a miscarriage or experienced a pregnancy complication of some sort and this was something that surprised Cillian.

“There was a lot of blood Nina said and she was then transferred from the ER to the maternity ward” Connie told Cillian last night which caused his chin to drop.

“She was pregnant?” he asked with some shock and confusion as this was the first he had heard of it.

“I would say so, but I don’t know” Connie explained before running her hands over Cillian’s hands in a comforting way. “I am sorry Cill. I really am” she then told him, to which Cillian sighed.

“Fuck. I need to see her” he told her before attempting to do exactly that, without success. He was turned away by the hospital’s security staff and was told to come back the following day which, of course, he did.  

At hospital…

Thus, just ten minutes past eight and after making his way to the maternity ward, Cillian was shown to your room but, as soon as Emma saw him, she raced towards the door and prevented him from entering.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” she asked angrily after, just an hour ago, having read the article about him and Kit in the Irish Times. Clearly, he had moved on so there was no way she would allow him anywhere near you, she thought.

“I am entitled to see her, Emma!” Cillian thus told her sternly while trying to get to you, which is when Emma started to curse at him and allowed her hand to slip, leaving a red mark across his cheek.

“You’ve got some fucking nerve, don’t you?” she spat before tearing up inside. She felt as emotional as you did after almost having lost her best friend and the lack of sleep certainly did not ease her reaction towards Cillian’s attitude.

“I’ve got some nerve?” Cillian asked as he, too, was upset and confused as, by this point, he was not sure whether you were still pregnant or not.

“She almost died, alright! Because of you!” Emma cursed, being unreasonable herself as her very own emotions began to overwhelm her.

“Because of me?” Cillian asked full of rage and anger before starting to curse as well, making a scene in front of the nurses. “You just fucking…” he began, pointing the finger at Emma, before aborting his sentence. “You know what, I don’t need this shit. I am here out of curtesy, nothing more” he then told her and Emma’s chin dropped.

“Curtesy?” she asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

“Yes, curtesy. She is still my daughter’s dance teacher and I still care for her even though I didn’t even know that she was pregnant, alright?” Cillian told Emma while tears slowly started to build up in the corner of his eyes. “But, I assume that this was yet another thing she just did not tell me, just like her real age” he then went on to say, causing Emma’s hand to almost slip again but, luckily for you and Cillian, she restrained herself.

“Oh my god Cillian, get the fuck out of here. She doesn’t want to see you” Emma then began to tell him which is when, finally, you interrupted them both.

“Emma, it’s fine. Let him come in” you said and, with that, just after Emma had told Cillian to get lost, in no uncertain terms, he decided to confront you and if it was not for the strong painkillers you were on, you would probably have slapped him as well for how he handled the situation.

"Why did you not tell me? I did not fucking know..." Cillian said as soon as he walked into the room. He was upset and confused and somewhat hungover.

"That makes two of us Cillian! I didn't know either. Now are you done accusing me of things?" you asked after having overheard his conversation with Emma which felt like a kick in the guts for you as he made it out to be as though you probably kept the pregnancy from him on purpose.

“You did not know? I mean, how did this even happen?” Cillian then asked, panicking, as, by now, he was well and truly plagued by disruptive thoughts as well.

“We had sex” you chuckled but, unfortunately for you, as soon as you did as little as smile, your abdomen began to ache from all the incisions and stitches.

“Seriously Y/N” Cillian said, not seeing the humour in this at all while you had already made peace with your situation.

“Apparently my implant was ineffective” you then began to say, causing Cillian to interrupt you.

“You said that you were on the pill” he exclaimed before asking you what an implant was, to which, of course, you provided him with an explanation. You also told him that, during your one-night stand, you simply told him that you were on the pill to avoid any more unnecessary questions.

“I just figured that all these hormonal contraceptives are pretty much the same but, unfortunately, with mine, there was a recall in the US which I was unaware of and, as result, it became ineffective” you told Cillian before throwing around terms like ectopic pregnancy, fallopian tubes and endometriosis.

“So, you lost the baby?” he then asked cautiously, trying to make sense of all that you told him. 

“No, I lost the pregnancy Cillian. There was no baby to start with and, even if there was, you would not have had to worry about it. I grew up in foster care as you know and I most certainly would not have kept a child that I cannot, myself, support. I do not want children of my own and this was not something I lied about to you. So, no matter how much you accuse me of being untruthful to you, the only time I ever lied to you was when I lied about my age and I only kept this lie alive for so long because I knew that I would lose you if I had told you the truth” you told Cillian as your emotions finally got the better of you and you started to cry which, too, made your abdomen hurt quite a bit.

Your admissions left Cillian speechless for a minute or two and it was not until started to moan in discomfort from the pain that Cillian took your hand into his.

“How are you feeling? Should I call a nurse?” Cillian asked with concern while you clinched down hard on his hand and shifted to a more comfortable position.

“No, I will be okay” you then told him while, finally, loosing the grip you had on his hand.

“Of course you will be. You are a fighter and one of the most amazing people I know” he told you, trying to comfort you but what he said made you somewhat angry instead.

“And yet you avoided me like the plague for the past two weeks. You even resigned from the Gaity school, because of me” you spat while pulling your hand away from his.

“I couldn’t see you Y/N. I just fucking couldn’t” Cillian told you while trying to comfort you again by placing his hand on top of your forearm which also was not what you wanted him to do.

“Fair enough, but at least, you could have responded to my message about James. It was fucking urgent, you know” you cried while pushing his hand away and, just as you did, Emma approached you both to check whether you were alright.

“What message?” Cillian asked and confusion was written all over his face.

“Don’t play me Cillian” you told him nonetheless, knowing that he was a good actor.

“I don’t know what you are talking about” Cillian insisted while pulling out his phone and looking through his messages.

“I sent you a message almost two weeks ago” you told him, but he could not find any and showed you that he had never received a message from you since the night of your birthday.

“Well, James is back and he is playing hardball” you thus told Cillian before explaining to him what happened. You told him what James had said to you and talked about the threats he made, wanting to expose you both after having followed you around, all the way to Cillian’s apartment.

“James clearly the court order and now he is threatening you?” Cillian chuckled after you took about ten minutes to explain to him what happened.

“He is threatening us, not just me” you told him angrily as, seemingly, he thought that this was funny.

“Listen Y/N, James has never been the smartest. He broke his order by stalking you and if that backfires on him, he will get much more than just a bad school record. There will be criminal charges” Cillian explained which, of course, made sense.

“Okay, so what now?” you thus asked while Cillian put his phone back into back of his pocket, thereby ignoring the three missed calls he had from Kit.

“You don’t need to worry about it. I will get my solicitor to handle it. You just concentrate on getting better, alright? Because god knows those kids will not make at finals without you. At least this is what Nina tells me” Cillian joked and this, too, made you laugh uncomfortably again for which Cillian apologised.

“How is Nina?” you then asked after the pains subsided again.

“She will be okay” Cillian told you before telling you that she really wanted to see you.

“You can bring her in if you like. I can pretend not to know you much even though I am pretty high on pain meds”  you joked, really wanting to thank Nina for getting an ambulance for you and performing first aid after you passed out.

“She would love that” Cillian told you before, somewhat surprisingly, he said something else you did not expect.

“And you know that, if you do need anything, you can text me, alright?”  he told you before giving you a somewhat awkward hug, for which you had to work around all the monitors and tubes.

“Okay visiting time is over” Emma then said, watching the situation unfold and, with the view to protect you, she told Cillian that you needed your rest.

This time around, Cillian nodded and responded politely to her request for him to leave and, whilst you did not know why she was so incredibly upset with him, you were soon to find out as you picked up the paper that Emma had disposed off on the floor.