#redacted shitpost

[dahliasunset26]

just saw this in my youtube feed and as spanish native speaker just want to make yall know that "ETS" are "Enfermedades de Transmisión Sexual" and that means a freaking STD

[mintygreencake]

Sam after leaving his house and joining the Shaw pack security team.

[ajstaria]

Angel: I like david. Thoughts?

Their friends: And prayers, girl what

[puffin-smoke]

Plot twist: It wasn't actually William who told Porter to kill the Bennets, it was a Bright Eyes and Fred in a trench coat doing a french accent. Neither of them are sure how they got away with it, and both are scared of what will happen when William comes back.

[evsstolenhearts]

AH SHIT

Your a teenager in the Shaw Pact and got caught skipping schooool!!! What do you do?

David: you both make contact while walking down he street, he's walking on the other side. Best option is so acknowledge him, bc he's your alpha, then, SCATTER. RUN AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. LOSE HIM. DONT LET HIM GET YOU. STAY STRONG. If he catches you, he will call your parents, and get you punished. If angel is with him, they will convince him to wait till later and bring you shopping. IF YOU LOSE HIM, be scared. Fear the next meet. He's mad. And your his target.

Asher: your both at the 7-11 down the street from your school, going to grab the same item. Will infact joke about telling your parents. Will buy your items. Will let you go but will embarrass the shit out of you.

Milo: slowly a car slowly down next ro you, you are ready to beat a bitch, the window rolls down and it's MILO!!!! HIS SPOUSE IS THE MAGIC POLICE. They ain't telling no one. Will take a photo as blackmail.

Tank: helped you sneak out of school, will cover for you, will tell Sam.

Marie: you make eye contact for 20 seconds then she look away like she ain't she SHIT

[no-see-um-incorrect]

“I wouldn’t marry me either”

Damien, Darlin, David, Honey, Coworker, Gavin.

“i’d marry you with paper rings”

Huxley, Sam, Angel, guy, Lasko, freelancer 

[crysoon]

[konnorhasapen]

Baabe: how did you guys meet your boys??

Angel: OOH! OOH! ME FIRST! He was stalking me!

David from the kitchen: I was not stalking you, you were stalking me!

Angel: he was stalking me. Can you believe it?? Imagine this absolute giant, sexy, hunk of a man following you around!

David: istg

Angel: I feared for my life!

David: >:[

Sweetheart: stalking? I'll do you one better, I broke into his place!

Lovely: oooh, see, Vincent broke into my place.

Baabe: hUH?

Lovely: relax! It was after he was following me.

Darlin': I win.

Sweetheart: how can you manage to one-up me? I broke into his apartment— twice!

Baabe: you broke into- TWICE!??

Darlin': yeah, I still think I win.

Angel: omg how??

Darlin': i broke in and trespassed on solaire territory

Sweetheart: *sigh of defeat* shit.

David: YOU DID WHAT??

Lovely: oh no way, me too!

Sam: twice.

Lovely: oh yeah! I did it twice!

David: TWICE?

Sweetheart: jesus christ, I think I'm realizing I may be surrounded by maniacs.

Darlin': *impressed hum as they raise their can to them*

Lovely: the second time around I was stalked and then tranced and then after I went home he was already in my house and then I was kidnapped! :D

Darlin': hol- *chokes and dies on red bull*

Sweetheart: who's the winner now, assmunch

Angel: still not you..?

Sweetheart: false. Every time someone other than Tank wins, I win.

Angel: damn it is cutthroat out here.

Baabe: I don't know if I want to play this game with you guys anymore...

[ryokoaoi]

lol what if porter and vincent were just bitter exes

[capitalisticveins]

carlum

[itsyourstarboy]

Babe definitely calls Asher puppy and y'know Milo lost his shit the first time he heard it

[dahliasunset26]

I'm relistening to the fool!david audio and WHY IS HE SO CUTE????? I WANNA HUG HIM FOREVER

FUCCCKKKKK

[mintygreencake]

This is so Milo coded

[ajstaria]

Anytime i hear anybody talking about geordi i fall to my knees and cry out in anguish like a medieval woman who just lost her husband to the plague

[themeridian]

POV:Angel bought this for David and he will probably *probably* will never wear it

[evsstolenhearts]

Save a horse ride Samuel Collins