#reign writes metas

[navree]

hello! i'd like to read some of your conqueror's meta. can you post a link, please? 💖💖💖

Absolutely! Glad you enjoy the ramblings so much!

The relationships between Visenya, Aegon, and Rhaenys: x. x. x. x. x. x. x. x. x.

Rhaenys specific meta: x. x. x. x. x.

Aegon specific meta: x. x. x. x.

Visenya specific meta: x. x.

Stuff with Orys: x. x. x. x. x.

And then this little thing that's just me writing down my best estimation for what their personalities were like based on the info we have.

Had to dig through some backlogs for this because I'm dogshit at tagging things consistently, but everything linked here is Conquest based. Honestly, if you go down my #answered tag long enough and ignore the Ancient Rome stuff and the comic book stuff, you'll find all my Conquerors meta, since 99% of the time I rant about something comes from people asking me about it and not realizing they're gonna get paragraphs in response. But happy reading!

[absolutebl]

TOP 10 BL Trends of 2023

This is just me with my analysis hat on. 

1. 2023 = the year EVERYONE went outside their lanes

Everything went topsy-turvy this year in BL. 

For example, Korea gave us agonized yearning and outright queerness (The 8th Sense, The New Employee) while Japan served up soft office workers and tender family (Our Dining Table). 

The BL world went askew for a while, especially in the spring of 2023. 

Not that we still didn’t still get Korea’s soft angsty bubbles or Japan’s “what are you doing and why does it hurt?” kink-fests. But there were quite a few BLs that made us chronic watchers sit up in confusion and wonder if Korea was dabbling in Taiwan’s territory or Japan in Thailand’s. Then they fudged the kisses and we were like... okay, back in familiar territory. 

In contrast, Thailand stayed course-correcting for the damage they’ve done in the past with tropes (2022) and self referential meta criticism (2021), but also almost aggressively returned to their BL roots after last year’s series of shockers. Certainly, they are reexamining those roots, transplanting some, aerating others. But they really went back to classic Thai university and high school BL and pulps in a big way in 2023. 

Taiwan is always difficult to gage because they produce so few but they seem to have stuck with what they do best with no deviation while producing more this year than they have in ages. I’m happy for that, why change a good thing? But there is a tiny part of me that really wants them to hit it out of the part with a quality piece soon. For me, We Best Love still reigns supreme, but I would really like the HIStory franchise to give us that level but longer - like a happy version of Your Name Engraved Herein. I think Taiwan has the chops to give us something as good as The 8th Sense or Old Fashion Cupcake but in their style, and I would like to see them exercise their talent for good rather than just profit. 

I know, what a very odd thing for me to say. But if any BL is going to break into the mainstream American market, I genuinely think it’s most likely come from Taiwan. 

Vietnam and the Philippines are falling behind, in general. They just didn’t bring out very many shows in 2023, and what the brought out tended to fub the endings. This is forgivable in Japan (because of their style and quality) but not what watchers want in the lower production value propositions. In other words, if you do a pulp, you can’t mess up the ending (by romance standards). that doesn’t look to be changing anytime soon. 

2. The Office Romance Dominated

After years of Thailand serving us an endless (and slightly bland) buffet of university (and a few high school) BLs, this year Korea was basically like...

Ofiice. We like the Office. It’s cheap to film we can use grown up actors, acting (mostly) their actual age. 

And yeah... it totally worked. 

To be fair, Japan has always given us office live action yaoi from the beginning (they had the source material) but this year everyone else, including Thailand, seriously started playing in this setting. 

3. Boys Danced with Boys

The darling @heretherebedork​ was a big fan of this one, and I rather like it myself. Prior to this boys dancing together was very very rare in BL, but this year we got way more than our fair share. It was lovely. 

Never Let me Go

My School President 

Bed Friend 

The Day I Loved You 

Step by Step

Be Mine Superstar

Tie the Not 

Dangerous Romance

I think there were a few more. These are the ones I remembered to write down. 

4. Getting (even more) Meta With Tropes 

BL has been getting more and more meta over the past few years but this year they really focused in on tropes specifically. Calling out their own biggest and most favorite tropes in a massive way, especially Thailand and especially GMMTV. 

Like they tunneled in on damaging tropes with Bad Buddy and the like over the past 2 years, and now they are just having fun with us. 

I mean they just started the dancing trope and already they are calling it out? That’s like rapid-fire regurgitated meta there, GMMTV. 

5. Cameos are the norm now 

Taiwan has always loved cameos but in the past the other countries have been show and steady with only one or two a year. (Unless Japan does a parody.) 

This year Korea got in on the game.

Korea rarely starts trends but they do adopt smaller and lesser known existing ones and make them super popular. 

This year they did that with cameo couple appearances, even borrowing a few of Thailand’s pairs (TutorYim and MaxNat traveled north). They did it so much I stopped tracking. Love Class 2, Why R U?, and Jun & Jun were the heaviest hitters. 

Taiwan, of course, came back swinging. Kiseki was the gum-ball machine of pair cameos. (In Taiwan mafia = gay.) 

6. We are entering the cross pollination age

The number of remakes picked up or started this year was startling, not just countries revisiting their own content (Thailand, Japan) but countries revisiting OTHER countries stuff.

Lemme explain...

Korea has started remaking Thai content (Why R U?) alongside cameo'ing Thai pairs.

Thailand is doing Korean IP (My Dear Gagster Oppa) and has 2 Chinese ones slated for next year. 

GMMTV acquired a lot of Japanese IP (Cherry Magic, Ossen, and My Love Mix Up) - and then had problems distributing it. 

This is probably the most surprising trend for me. Especially the Japanese stuff. I would have thought these properties well outside of Thailand's price range (even GMMTV's) not to mention Japan’s legendary IP issues (I swear I typed this pout before the pulled TayNew’s excellent Cherry Magic). 

Also why not option some of the older popular manga instead? Bet that's much cheeper. (I did see a NEW Thai translation of Finder into Thai, which is 90s yaoi, so I have my fingers crossed on that front.)

I shouldn't be too surprised. 

Thailand is running out of y-novel content. Their publication industry is just not robust enough (I was just talking to a friend about this at length recently). But I didn't think they had the funds to option, especially from Japan. 

Perhaps the option deals are for peanuts?

7. Korea got cheeky

I’m not sure quite how else to put this. 

After finally figuring out boys can kiss, Korea started to do not just higher heat but playful higher heat, with more aggressive word play and linguistic innuendo, like they are entering their racy rom-com teenage years (Why R U? Love Class 2 and Jun & Jun in particular.) 

I guess: Welcome to your BL teens, Korea? 

It’s cute of them. I am very much enjoying it. 

And now that comedy is warming them up, we get to see them play with actual queer burgeoning physicality in shows like The 8th Sense. 

It’s nice. I like seeing Korea stretch its wings. They still stick to their bubble, but that bubble seems to be expanding. 

8. The Amnesia Trope is back

And I, for one, would prefer to forget about it. 

9. BL got trendy 

I’m not quite sure how to articulate this category but basically we started seeing a lot of “modern” romance trends out of the west (like a/b/o) show up in our BL. Not a ton and sometimes quite small, but there has a been a steady rise of things like: no seme/uke, femme gay, out gay, condom use, messy gay. 

We also got an increasing range of sub genre frameworks (like mafia, office setting) that’s moved BL pretty firmly (even in Thailand) out of school and into the workplace, whether actual working is involved or not. 

It’s not to the point where it feels like we get more non-school BL than school BL (if I include all countries in this assessment).

Japan, in classic Japanese fashion, quietly started moving in the opposite direction. It’s what they do. 

10. The Vampires are coming 

This is an announcement trend, which I don’t usually report on but it’s so CLEAR. 

So last year we had a spate of announcements of possible Omegaverse (2 from China, 1 from Japan, 1 from Thailand - the only one that’s happened). 

This year we got 5 Vampire (or vampire-esk) Thai BLs announced including one from GMMTV. 

Whether all 5 will actually get made is unlikely, but having had (basically) none prior to this (Kissable Lips), I’m pretty confident that we will get at least 2 of them. And I wouldn’t be surprised if at least one other country made one as well. (Side eyes Taiwan with interest.) 

Final thoughts

It feels like we are also seeing a decline in BL (both by quantity and quality) from Vietnam and the Philippines. As you all know, I don’t track or really watch either of these two very closely. But it feels like, now, no one else is either. 

I think we have likely seen the BL heyday already in both places and their industries are now on the decline. 

We might be witnessing a thinning in the players in the BL field. 

FYI we had approximately 

136 BLs in 2023

Previous Years

2022: 117

2021: 95

2020: 62

2019: 40

2018: 30 

2017: 44 (China’s last gasp)

2016: 27

2015: 17 (50% micro)

2014: 17 (50% micro)

And that’s it! Let me know in the comments if you’ve spotted any additional trends you want to call out.

Last year, 2022′s trend report

2021′s Trend report

Last Year’s Stats & Predictions

(source) 

[arceus-insanity]

With the Series Ending

I decided to do this solely based on canon, except for F which are so bad that they transcend the rule. I also put this in the lens of do I enjoy watching them, or do they infuriate me. Most of the ones in G are there because I can't tell who they are from the picture, or are so minor I don't get why they were on the list to begin with

Hawks was the hardest to place because as I've mentioned before I love villain fanon Hawks, and hate Canon for all the missed potential and the guy being shit.

Before the last arc, Deku would have been in C, and I felt most criticisms of him were undeserved. I still feel a lot of them are dumb, however, he's canonically a hypocritical, suck-up to labels, abuse apologist, idiot, etc. As much as it feels like character assassination it's canon, same with Shoji. I also just don't care to read fanfiction of him, and feel he takes a lot of roles where other characters would make more sense. If I'm not already following someone I'm not going to read fanfiction with him in it

Most of E I hate as much if not more than F but the fandom either doesn't write about, or treat them like the pieces of crap they are, looking at Mineta of course.

Fun fact Edgeshot is in E for bringing Bakugo back, and causing me both meta and dramatic issues for me. What the fuck was the point of killing Bakugo to immediately bring him back. How the fuck did Edgeshot know he could do this? How the fuck did he know how to do this? Why the fuck is he doing this for some random teenager he has never interacted with before, in the middle of a war? And now why the fuck does this fucker get to live, no one gave a single fuck about Edgeshot but he gets to live!

Centipeder would have been in E if not for the fact I know what my ringtone for him would be, Red Flags by Tom Cardy

Uraraka owes her rank in B for her arc with Toga, otherwise, she would have been in D. For the plot forgoing her original motivations so they could turn her into a generic love interest. Toga tried talking crushes with her 'twice' everything else regarding that shit, which started before they ever met, is on her

I actually love Endeavor fanfics as most of them either a treat his abuse for what it is, or b I view them as an own on canon Endeavor and his incredible laziness and selfishness. But Twitter exists and they flock to him and his bullshit so to F with him.

Speaking of Fs, Bakugo is a whiney spoiled rotten brat with a silver spoon shoved into his mouth since birth. I hope he never breeds. Damn near every shit thing that has happened to him, was either brought on by himself, literally applied to everyone, he literally doesn't care, and even with the two exceptions I'd give this, the Sludge guy, and being chained up at the sports fest (he should have been disqualified), do not justify his shit

Congrats to Dark Shadow and Tokoyami for being the only hero (student) to make it past B

Needless to say I love villains, Dabi is by far my favourite, followed by Himiko, they are way more engaging and convincing than the heroes. And by convincing I mean it actually feels like they are going to put in effort to make their goals happen, not just wish really hard. I truly wish we could have seen how Shigaraki's goals shifted during his reign over the PLF. We had already seen how he wanted the League to be happy and an exception to his goal of destruction

[mswyrr]

Season 1 has its writing issues, but it accomplished some major character work with Rhaenyra. It took her across a moral threshold and changed some core components of how she relates to others. She begins the season paralleled with Helaena. But she ends the season paralleled with Aemond and Daemon. IMO, the Red Sowing was a major moral Rubicon crossed - and she's changed in permanent, fundamental ways. That was the goal of this season. Partly the reaction to the season is due to how this kind of internal character work isn't usually the focus of Fantasy; it's more common in "realistic" dramas.

First, the comparisons with Helaena. They mourn their sons in visually similar ways, clutching an item of clothing/blanket of the child's.

Then Rhaenyra repudiates the idea that she wanted Jaehaerys' head, specifically by mentioning this similarity and empathy with her little sister:

It's after this scene that she confronts Daemon and rejects his "a son for a son" logic. Then we get the final visual parallel. Both sisters look up and see (in flower petals and dust) the ash that will rain down on the kingdom due to the destruction of a dragon fire war. They're both disturbed by it. Early in the season, Rhaenyra tried to do all she could to prevent that future. By the end of the season, though, she has wholly embraced it.

By the time we get to the Red Sowing (2x07), Rhaenyra has changed her mind - she embraced the fire. Burning people alive for power. She might have introduced the "seeds" to Silverwing, who wouldn't have slaughtered them. But she chose Vermithor. She chose their deaths. And the power felt good. It pushed back the fear and trauma of the early season. As Emma put it:

What is going through Rhaenyra’s mind as she watches the Targaryen bastards be devoured and torched alive? "I think she feels like a god. I think she feels super proud." [interview source] [and major credit to darksvster's meta, which gives full details of where Rhaenyra is at in this episode]

Not only does that happen - but in the next episode, her brother Aemond does the same thing. Massacring people and looking down at it, feeling like a god. Feeling powerful again, after having been made to feel powerless by running up against Rhaenyra's new dragonriders at the end of 2x07.

The visual parallel is as stark as the ones earlier in the season were with Helaena:

They're not being subtle. She is being positioned opposite a brother - a mirror to her enemy - it's just not Aegon, as some people want. But it makes sense that it's the brother driven enough to *take* the crown against the rules of this society - the position of first born noble daughters and second sons has been compared since season 1. They're so close to being the one with the rights to power and yet there's a barrier.

Both of these siblings have crossed that barrier. They will take what this society will not give them. They will take it with fire and blood.

As we see in the next parallel with Aemond. They literally are twinned in two scenes where an as yet untainted female family member challenges them on their policy of burning cities of innocent people:

My final note is that now Rhaenyra is on the same page as Daemon as well. She repudiated his behavior earlier in the season, but now she embraces his return and embraces his core logic. She uses his words, his phrase in a scene where imo we are meant to notice that--while love is still there-- she's being much more cruel to Alicent than she would have ever been in the past:

Daemon has changed in the fact that he will recognize her as the reigning queen, but his morality has not changed. Rhaenyra's has - she is now of a similar mindset as Daemon and Aemond. She uses religion--and her conversations with Mysaria about caring for the smallfolk--to justify it to herself and she believes herself righteous. But the actions and their consequences (people burned alive) are the same. And for the same goal of power.

They are doing all of this so artfully--keeping us so tightly in Rhaenyra's pov where she feels justified as she crosses this moral Rubicon--that it can be difficult to see without pulling back and looking at the clues, the shifting parallels, and the ways her behavior by the end of the season is truly, in pivotal ways, not what it would have once been.

[uwabbittuwabbit]

Eterna's Iceberg of Race Replays

I keep seeing people asking about how to watch MotoGP race replays in a financially responsible way, so here's my guide on where to find them!

TIER 1: MotoGP YouTube Channel Playlist MotoGP is probably one of the better racing series in that there are race replays readily accessible on their YouTube channel. They also do have some replays on their Facebook if you have the time to do an archaeological excavation, which I forgot to put on the iceberg (for example the 2014 Qatar GP). Since it's on their official accounts, it's at the top.

TIER 2: Motomundo Many a motoheads' trusted source for replays! Motomundo also has various documentaries, as well as practice, qualifying and testing replays. Motomundo also has a VKVideo account that which you can use if you are so inclined. Unfortunately, it has been reported of late that many of the videos have stopped working, with most of the older races not accessible at all. On the second tier since it is widely recommended and an open secret.

TIER 3: BiliBili (1) (2) This one is kind of unusual! Some endeavoring fans have done a great work of philanthropy by uploading entire seasons of MotoGP replays onto BiliBili, which is basically the Chinese equivalent of YouTube...but more. It can be overwhelming (they have a function where users can write comments which then are displayed on the screen while the video plays, for example) and maybe when I have more time, I could write a guide. Another circumstance of these replays being Chinese reuploads is that the commentary is also in Chinese, and there are some really very ugly watermarks from the broadcast itself that cannot be readily edited out. However, the archive is VERY extensive, although it only comprises of races. On the third tier since BiliBili is very popular in China, but more obscure in the West, and I only found this because I am Chinese and already had knowledge of the platform. The first link leads to a collection in which all the races from 1979-2019 have been uploaded. The second is from the same user, however it is just footage of 2020 testing. Unfortunately it seems that their uploads have paused there, at least for now.

TIER 4: This suspicious ass looking website If you've ventured this far down into the iceberg, I'm assuming that suspicious looking websites that have the potential to give you a virus don't phase you. But nevertheless, as a disclaimer, this website is a little hard to navigate. However, not only does it provide MotoGP coverage (in English), it also covers the feeder series as well and includes them in their race weekend compilations. There are options to view the race in varying resolutions, as well as links to various other uploads on Meta (not THAT Meta) and the like. Unfortunately around 2018 are where the uploads become a bit spotty, with many of the videos being unplayable and the links also leading nowhere. A very warranted tier four rating.

TIER 5: ArchivoGP (1) (2) (3) The reason I placed this one so low is not necessarily because it's better than the rest of the sources (in fact, at time of writing this post a good portion of their videos have been taken offline) but because the story in finding it was actually pretty funny. For context, I was on the hunt for a clip of Marc Marquez giving reigning world champion Pecco Bagnaia the thumbs up at the end of Mugello Q2 (thank you tumblr user suzuki-ecstar for replying to me about this...) and none of the sources I was using (so, any of the above already listed) had that clip. I was gnashing and gnawing my teeth in pain. So where else does one go to find something that is presumably lost? Internet Archive! I really thought this was the end of the road and I would have to clip that moment from a shitty vertical YouTube Short or something. Pain. But then I happen upon a full MotoGP replay. It wasn't of the session I wanted, but when I looked into the user a little further, I saw that they had uploaded various other full race replays. In their bio it was stated that they had a Telegram channel under the same name (ArchivoGP), so I did a Google search and found that they indeed did. Happily, their uploads (which are DAZN broadcasts consisting of pre-GP, practice, qualifying, sprint, feature race, post-GP and also cover the feeder classes) DID have that moment and that is the story of how I finished a fancam with the help of Internet Archive, which once again has saved my life. The three different links above lead to their old site, their new(?) one, and their video archive in question which is hosted on TokyVideo. Unfortunately their archive only dates back to 2020, and as I have stated previously some of them have been taken down.

MISCELLANEOUS: (1) (2) These are some assorted Internet Archive sources which I found while trying to backtrack how I found the previous source. I haven't had the time to actually sort through and vet the videos except for one, the original ArchivoGP user uploads (which is the first link, though I'm not entirely sure because they have since changed the name of the channel).

I hope with this masterpost I have saved you guys a lot of time that you (and me, to be honest) do not have. If you want to know where to watch races LIVE, user kingofthering has a very handy dandy masterpost here which you can go check out.

Psst: in general, if you want to very legally watch something, this is a good resource that I recommend. Cheers! ;)

[thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai]

Why does JJ freak out in the Grand Prix Final?

(I never thought I'd write a JJ meta, but here we are)

JJ has competed in the Grand Prix Final before. One season ago, he finished in third place, right behind Viktor and Chris. The pressure of competing against only five other skaters in the final round of what has the vibe of a deathmatch, is not new to him.

There's a huge difference to last time, though.

For many seasons, Viktor has dominated the men's field. In Sochi, he won his fifth GPF gold medal. No skater could get past him and this was a well-known fact among male top skaters. It's a bit akin to what the current situation with Ilia Malinin will likely develop into, although comparing him to Viktor is a capital crime. Skaters are starting to accept that this one skater scores so high that they can't surpass him wihout breaking their bodies. In YOI, Viktor has cemented his reign with a sublime combination of technical skill and artistry and every top male skater had to face this reality.

And now he's gone off to coaching.

Suddenly, the field is wide open. Everyone's motivation suddenly spikes up. Everyone wants to be the one who claims Viktor's title. Most of all Yurio, Chris, Yuuri. And JJ.

JJ sees himself as king and the rightful heir to Viktor's throne (watch his monologue in episode 9 and roll your eyes). Of all the skaters, he's the one with the least respect for Viktor, not that he respects the other skaters, and his ego is bigger than all the egos of his rivals combined. And this defines his mindset.

In addition to that, JJ is the only skater who won both qualifying events and thus goes into the final as the top contender for the title. Suddenly, dethroning Viktor has turned from a wet dream into a real and likely possibility. Add his own expectations to the expectations of fans and press and you get crushing pressure. Not even JJ is immune to pressure (I suspect that he covers up his own insecurity with arrogance).

There's another aspect that could affect JJ, but it's based on speculation:

Considering JJ's age, he can't have competed at the GPF too often. Depending on at which age he had his senior debut (not every skater pushed into seniors at the tender age of 15 before the ISU raised the age limit) and his development (growth spurts, skating skills etc.), he competed at the GPF between one and four times before Barcelona.

My personal guess is that Sochi was JJ's first GPF, but my only clue that supports this theory is Viktor struggling with his memory when he introduces the finalists in episode 10. Maybe JJ just isn't that memorable to him. But if my guess is right, JJ likely approached his first GPF with innocent fearlessness. JJ totally is the type who would do that. It's JJ style. However, when he qualified again, he already knows how tough the GPF is and that makes him vulnerable and prone to lose his nerve, especially since he is going into the event as the favourite and he wants Viktor's throne for himself. Ironincally, that's JJ style, too.

The Grand Prix Final is a tough competition. It's tougher than Worlds or the Olympics. The fact that only six skaters per discipline can qualify for the final raises the stakes. Unlike at the end of a big event with six groups or more, the judges have a very keen eye on every skater. That's often reflected in stricter scores and mistakes being punished harder, especially when the skaters are equal in skill. It's nerve-wrecking to watch and I imagine it to be more nerve-wrecking than any other competition for the skaters as well.

[jomamaofficial]

An Empty Vessel pt.2 (Dabi x Fem!Reader Dark Angst)

A/N: Happy holidays my lovely toes. I am so sorry for this delay, my laptop broke down 😃😃. I urge you all to read the TWs and CWs because I have delved into dark topics. As always, my Ask Box is open for any requests or just a conversation. I absolutely adore all of you, and I want to take this time to thank you guys for your support. Seeing your comments and messages motivates me to write :) <3. Please remember to take care of yourselves, and enjoy. As always, I would love to see your thoughts in the comments :). TW: Vague sexual harassment, substance abuse (weed, alcohol, smoking), death and bleeding. CW: SPOILER: Season 6, Dabi’s backstory, PFL, AFO and Shigiraki plot, swearing, vague mentions of intimate acts. Taglist: @marlenemckinnonsleftfoot @sukunasleftkneecap @istoleyourmanho3 @witherfag Masterlist Edit: Part 3 😼😼 Word Count: 2919. Summary: In the stories Rei used to read him, heroes always won. Reality wasn’t a story though. The villains won the Meta Liberation War after 6 years of fighting. With the death of Pro Hero Endeavour, and the reign of All For One, Dabi could finally leave his past as Touya Todoroki. He no longer had family. But what about the past that haunted him to this day. A family that belonged to Dabi, not Touya? One that escaped unborn?

——————————————————————————————————

Musutafu, Japan– it made international headlines. 

The Paranormal Liberation Force finally did it. 

The nation observed a minute of silence for the fall of Pro Hero Endeavour. 

Musutafu was now all for one. And the entire nation would soon suffer the same fate. 

Dabi stretched his neck to the left, stretching his right shoulder as he fought the growing tingles in his body. Chills ran up and down his spine as his eyes followed the tears of rain flooding the dimly-lit road.

He loved how empty this street was: no cars, no news reporters. There were no signs of nagging parents and their brat children, and there were no heroes patrolling the streets, strutting up and down like they owned the place.  

It was just him and the soft sound of the rain which seeped into his socks, staining them with the remains of what was now All For One’s headquarter city. 

Dabi wished to hear the familiar croak of Tomura’s voice: the back and forth banter, the late-night clicks of the video game console. Back when it was just them, the League of Villains. Tomura, Kurogiri, Toga, Twice, and him. Back when he didn’t ruin everything. 

Dabi never told anyone, but there was a tiny part of his soul that withered away when he was near All For One. 

Dabi felt small. He was 5’9; he never felt small. 

But that thing would always tower over him. His slimy touch was forcefully ingrained into Dabi’s skin— that thing touched him like he owned Dabi. 

And Dabi hated the way his mind memorised the way All For One used his crooked fingers to tilt Dabi’s head up to inspect him. 

“Oh he’s a little doll isn’t he, Tomura? Where do you find these pretty boys?”

He hated the way All For One laughed after; it was a broken wheeze that rang murder in Dabi’s mind. 

He watched as All For One forced Tomura to laugh with him, and Tomura’s apologetic eyes wavered when he looked back at Dabi. 

He hated Tomura for laughing that day. 

But he hated that laugh much more; the laugh that tainted the fresh air they stood in. 

Now, Musutafu’s entire air was tainted by that laugh. 

Now… Musutafu belonged to All For One. And Dabi could only hear that broken wheeze. 

It would follow him everywhere. 

So despite the rain’s destructive nature, Dabi allowed the weeping drops of the sky to fill the emptiness inside of him. The cool drops were better than the air. 

Dabi was just an empty vessel. Nowhere to go, no one to go back to. 

-

The Meta Liberation War quenched everyone’s thirst for blood. The dirt was saturated with the blood of heroes and villains alike. 

He found it amusing, he really did as he bore his vacant eyes into the rusting ground. Dabi watched as everyone’s blood mixed together under his foot. 

He raised his eyebrows, and chuckled.

‘All it took was death for them to stick together’. 

Dabi travelled further away from the battle ground, quite deliberate about the steps he took. He counted underneath a shallow breath.

“Fifty-five, fifty-six, fifty-seven,” until he reached the sixty-second step. 

His heel pressed against the seeping soil surging scarlet. 

And the world was still. 

So still and silent that the gentle wind snuck up on the thin man, and he let out a broken gasp as his knees gave out. 

The ringing in his ear struck a bitter note. His chest heaved up and down, up and down, and his eyes were blankly fixed on the ground beneath him. Thick, warm blood oozed through the thin cloth that covered his knees. 

Enji Todoroki finally died. And Touya Todoroki was responsible for it. 

Touya Todoroki, after 7 years of persistent efforts, was officially fatherless. 

Finally, it dawned upon him: after 30 long years, Touya Todoroki couldn’t chase him anymore. He could finally find solace in Dabi. 

And Dabi was alone. He had no family. 

-

As the joint finally caught up to him, after four or five rookie puffs, the raven man started asking himself what he was doing here. 

Surrounded by a group of homeless men who he caught rummaging in the dumpster, they were huddled away into the darkness of a dimly lit alleyway. It smelled like shit, offending his heightened state of smell. Flies picked on the waste scattered below them, their constant buzz creating a monotonous flow. 

Dabi peeled his lips open as he felt each individual cell respire on his skin. His heart felt like it was growing inside of him, puncturing his dry lungs, getting louder and faster with each beat.

As a young boy, he saw Enji drink every evening for two years. Dabi used to sneak a sip when he was alone. Dabi was often alone. 

He caught Enji with a lit cigarette in his fingers. Dabi stole one and showed it to his friends. Dabi coughed a lot that day. 

Enji never touched drugs. He was against it. 

Dabi never took drugs; the thought of it never passed him. 

“How does it feel kid?” 

Dabi’s consciousness was dragged back to reality, the bleak colours of his surroundings painting a vibrant picture. 

“I can feel my skin breathing,” he responded, his lower jaw hanging open as he struggled to keep his neck straight. 

Howls of laughter echoed in the distance, but the scarred man took no notice. 

The joint was held to his lips, and Dabi took another puff. 

Dabi wanted to individually itch the surface of his eyes with his nails. It was miserable. 

But the ripple of the individual muscles in his cheeks felt so warm and happy when he smiled. That was less miserable. 

So he kept on smiling, jaw still gaping. His staples pulled against his grafts, but the molecular traces of marijuana in his bloodstream shielded him from the pain. 

Dabi was taken aback– gravity was working exponentially harder against him. A man touched the corner of his lips, the thick and coarse pad of his thumb sending him back, seven years ago.

Oh he’s a little doll isn’t he, Tomura?

“Boy”, the man slurred, “you’re bleeding.”

He shoved his bloodied thumb in Dabi’s face. 

Dabi struggled to focus his gaze on the thumb in front of him, switching between double and triple vision. 

“Can’t feel it,” he mumbled, his reactions delayed as he scooted away from the stranger. 

“Everything’s breathing except these.”

Dabi was mesmerised by the feeling of his grafts against the pads of his fingers. It restored the faint twinkle in his hollow eyes.  

“Why are you all fucked up everywhere, boy?”

It took a few moments to register, but Dabi did respond. 

“Useless mom, dick dad.” 

A unison of delayed ahhhs followed, and Dabi began to feel a knocking pressure trapped in the inner corners of his wide eyes.

“I was never his first choice,” Dabi chuckled. He wasn’t sure if they could hear him. They sure as hell couldn’t understand him, but he was fine with that. 

“I was his first born son. No fuckin’ use. Dropped me like I was a waste of time and money.” 

The offensive smell of the blunt dug him further away from reality. Dabi was content with his own company. 

It would always be just him, forever and always. Because after everyone leaves, you’re left with yourself– your only support. 

The more he delved into his loneliness, the louder he heard his skin breathe, it was deafening. And so the silence on his graft became even louder. 

For a man who was considered dead all his life, Dabi wasn’t used to his living body. Senses upon senses, he was bombarded with the constant reminder that he was still alive. Even his dead, unresponsive skin felt alive. Because it was the absence of feeling that felt different. 

-

Many people would describe euphoria as extreme feelings of bliss and joy. It was this boxed definition that led Dabi to believe that he could never feel euphoria. But in this moment, whilst Dabi sunk deeper into his conscience– his doubts finally quiet, time finally stopped. 

And his body finally let go. 

The familiar bud of the joint met his mouth again, and he inhaled the noxious fumes until he smoked his fears away into the midst of the neverending clouds in the night sky. The full moon gleamed down on his pale skin, bathing his grafts in a lunar embrace. 

Unlike the sun, which beat its scorching rays on his sensitive skin, the moon shyly kissed it, leaving trails of beautiful markings that soothed his aches. 

Dabi’s heart was working overtime. Blood rushed to his scalp, and his body completely shut down. There was one name that his heart called for. 

A name that belonged to the past. The moon shyly casted a glow on that face too, but it averted its lunar eyes when Dabi defiled his past, leaving trails of burns that caused her aches. 

He was wrong. 

Touya Todoroki, after 7 years of persistent efforts, had no family.  

But Dabi? 

Dabi had a family. 

-

Dabi woke up to blue skies and a gentle sun peeking behind the stained curtains. His body was sprawled on the tiny bed, his limbs spilling out the sides, here and there. He blindly groped for his phone in the midst of thin sheets, switching it on to check the time. 

09:23 AM. 

He groaned and threw a dark shirt on top of his eyes, blocking the obnoxious sun as he squirmed to find his sleep. 

Moments passed and all he could focus on was the neverending tick of the clock in the corridor. 

“Fuck it.”

Dabi slipped on some shirt, and put on some shoes, and slammed the door when he left. 

09:36 AM. 

No wonder he could hear the tick, the corridor was ghost-quiet. 

Routinely, Dabi heaved himself over to the bar, scanning the counter for a quick shot.

09:41 AM. 

Toga walked inside the lair, her hands hidden inside the cuffs of her cardigan. Dabi nodded at her as he let out a yawn. 

“Everyone die or summin’?”

Toga stared at him, her eyes glazed. 

Dabi immediately straightened up. 

“Wait, did they actua-”

“She’s gone.”

09:49 AM.

Dabi’s jaw tensed up, gripping the shot glass tighter. 

“Who’s gon-”

His body was jolted back into the counter, the loud glass shrieking as it fell from his hands. 

“Don’t you dare Dabi. Don’t you fucking dare.”

Her eyes were red. Her fist was clenched around the loose cloth that hung on him. 

Dabi averted his eyes from Toga, releasing a shallow breath. 

Toga’s chest hiccuped underneath her cardigan, and she hid her face into his chest, staining it with stale tears. 

“She’s gone,” she repeated, a broken record.  

Dabi clasped his arms around her, his hands patting her head. 

09:59 AM. 

“She left.” 

-

Dabi reached for the flask hidden in his inner pockets. Bony fingers struggled to open it, fine tremors running through his bones. 

‘Twenty-one, twenty, nineteen, eighteen…’ 

Door number eighteen. A few strides away. But the growing feeling of heaviness in Dabi’s feet warned him: it was going to be a marathon. 

Countless strangers pointed at the lone man in a tattered, thick jacket. Dabi grasped at the wire fence that separated the long stretches of the park and pavement, muttering something underneath his breath.

The sight of free cars strolling past him caught him off guard every single time. He had no sense of time, no sense of direction. 

He was far, far away from Musutafu. 

Here, the air felt fresher. 

It wouldn’t be long before it was infested either. 

But he had to owe All For One some credit. 

His reign of terror gave the PLF members a huge leverage when it came to accessing government files. 

Dabi flipped through piles of kojin bangō, particularly scanning through documents of 27 year-old mothers, registered births and quirk-hybrids, and a certain family name. 

He found everyone’s name, everyone’s identity; no one was safe. 

Yet the name his eyes yearned for was nowhere in sight. 

Countless days and nights were spent silently begging for a lead. On day 18, Dabi finally left the building, clutching onto a piece of paper close to his heart. 

Saira Uchiyama. 

Names didn’t match, but it was the only name that he could trace her back to. 

Dabi took the final steps up the road, feeling lighter than he had in days. 

It was on his right. There was but a sliver of road that separated Dabi and door number eighteen. 

His fingers started picking at the ripping cuticles on his nail bed, and the grown man started to track his breaths. 

He took a step. 

A car honked at him. 

“Watch where you’re going!”

Dabi didn’t draw back. 

He took another step, and another, and another. One more, maybe two. 

He could feel the gravel underneath his boots. Dabi lifted his broken face and a perfect house stared down at him. Pristine brick walls stood proud; the bright toned paint complimented the thriving flora in the yard. It fit in so well with the lines of houses, strong and shielded. 

This was someone’s home. Bonsai trees armed the right side of the yard, some trimmed, others growing wild. 

There were two floors and a garage; more than enough for a perfect family. 

Dabi was stopped by the fence gates that guarded the perimeters. He struggled to get past. 

Encrusted in metal, his eyes laid upon the name beside the door. 

Engraved in gold letters, it read Uchiyama.

He was a step away from Saira Uchiyama’s front door. 

Dabi’s hand reached towards the door handle, but he stopped when he felt the unwelcoming chill of it. 

He eyed the doorbell instead. He fisted his hand that was itching to press it. 

The drowning noises of children’s laughter bled through his skull from the park that was behind him. The drones of parents buying ice cream, and husbands holding their wives’ hands. This was the type of neighbourhood he was in. 

And someone told him. Since when did Dabi develop the need to preserve this? 

He was a lone man, half dead. He was disgusting. He couldn’t find her name. Now he was outside some poor woman’s house. Saira Uchiyama. How would she feel seeing a decaying man waiting outside her front door? How would her husband feel if some uninvited scarred freak asked to meet his wife, hands empty? 

He felt a thick substance roll past his cheek and drip onto the clean welcome mat. 

Dabi pushed his raven locks out of his eyes, biting onto his knuckles as he struggled to maintain a steady breath

His nails moved to pick at the staples underneath his eyes. 

He couldn’t do this. 

‘I can’t fucking do this.’

Through his bloodied waterline, he looked at the doorbell one more time before turning around. 

He couldn’t fucking do this. Dabi didn’t belong here. 

He tried to move forwards but his legs were shackled to the pebbly footpath. His rhythmic heart couldn’t let go. His twisted mind forced him to go. 

His desperate eyes latched onto the bed of perfect flowers on his right. 

Like an open flame, the flowers stole all his attention. Dabi stilled. 

Their indigo petals mirrored the deep colour of his dead skin. He was entranced by the bold opening, the beautiful colour bleeding out and reflecting the glimmering hope that built up in his cerulean eyes. 

-

“What’s your favourite flower Dabi?” Toga asked as she played with her blunt knife, running her thumb across the blade. 

“Typ’a fucking qustion’s that?” 

“God Dabi, don’t you know how to have a civilised conversation with someone. I’m just trying to get to know you better!”

“And asking my favourite flower’s gonna do that?”

“It’s called small talk, Dabi.”

He scoffed, pushing past the young girl to rummage through the cabinets. 

From the corner of his eyes, he picked up on her amber eyes intently pressing him for an answer. 

“For fucks sake. Fine. I’ll do your little small talk”, he gave in, evoking a small squeal from the blonde. 

Dabi considered her question for a minute, pressing his tongue against his cheeks. 

“I saw these flowers once,” he gulped. “They were blue, kinda like flames. My flames. I saw ‘em in one’a those gated areas. I guess they were pretty nice.” 

Toga pursed her lips and tilted her head to the side as she tried to paint a picture in her head. 

“Do you know what they’re called?”

“The fuck would I know? Probably one of those fancy rich flowers grown by fancy rich people,”, he shrugged. 

“I’ll ask the newbie, she’ll know what they are.”

“Have fun talkin’ to lil’ miss know-it-all,” he scoffed, happy as Toga skipped away, leaving him alone. Finally. 

A week later, Dabi found out what they were called as he was sharing a cigarette on the roof. 

“By the way, they’re called Rindou flowers.” 

Dabi quirked up an eyebrow, his lips curled in a sneer. 

“Those flowers you like, they’re called Rindou.”

Dabi’s ears perked up at the small giggle that followed. 

“I guess I could say being ‘miss know-it-all’ isn’t the worst thing, huh?” 

-

Dabi’s chest heaved as he turned around, his pace fast as his hands inched closer to the doorbell. 

Ring. 

The wind stilled. 

He could hear footsteps run down the stairs. 

Click. 

The handle moved. 

The door creaked open. 

It was 09:59 AM. 

——————————————————————————————————

Keep a look out for Part 3, my angst-loving toes. If you would like me to add you to the taglist, please comment or message me :).

Edit: Part 3

[made-this-cause-why-not]

How I would re-write Supergirl Season 2/3

(as some one who stopped watching after season three, and also has not rewatched the series since 2020) (reign arc and heroes of the week will remain unchanged)

So, starting off strong, at Alex and Maggie would not have gotten engaged. Season 2 finale would have been Maggie realizing she was rushing into things, Alex being all "no I love you, I know I do" and Maggie being like "there is a whole gay world for you to explore... go do it." This would lead to sadness, a bit of tears (Chyler and Floriana would be AMAZING- daytime emmy nominee worthy performance).

Rhea would reveal Kara's identity to Lena in the finale. It would be casual too, she would be like "you are much better for my son Lena, that kryptonian isn't worth her weight in dirt here. I can't believe he would settle for a lowly slave." And then Lena would be all "reporter" and Rhea would be like "Yes Kara Danver's, former slave to a, Cat Grant I believe her name is" and then Rhea would continue on her spiel and there would be a cut scene as the camera focuses on Lena taking in the information

They save the day- Monel leaves for what ever reason he had to leave- don't remember, don't care. Also, Kara and Mon-el would have never dated, he would have just pined for her and James and Winn would be all "join the club"

Season 3

Alex mourned over her first lesbian relationship over the 6 month gap between seasons, Lena hasn't told Kara she knows.

First DEO scene of Season 3 is Alex talking to Kara (and invertedly Winn and James) about her most recent date on an app. It went bad, Winn chimes in like "what was it this time" and Alex is like "she was weirdly into ___" then J'onn walks in, like "Alex I am sorry to interrupt but there are pressing matter to attend to- there is a meta human down town" (que hero of the week intro)

Lena and Kara hang out, audience find out that Lena hasn't told Kara cause Kara has to leave to deal with a alien and does the usual "uh, I hear my named being called, ugh bye" and Lena just smiles and nodds, and sighs wistfully, staring after her (supercorp shippers go crazy)

Ep 2 or three we first see Sam and Ruby in line for Noonan's or something (why did they establish that as a brand, just to immediately ditch it after season 1???) and it's just a cute simple little "Hi, I'm Alex, let me help you out" but Sam is endeared and Ruby just smiles because (I love Ruby but honestly) she didn't have that much of a personality early on in the season

That same ep we see Lena reuniting with Sam. After that, when ever Sam and Lena meet each other (I don't remember when or how) Kara and Lena are like "you two know each other" and Alex is all blushy like "yeah, Kinda, I mean, not really" and Sam is like "yeah, Lena she is the girl from the place". Sam and Lena share a look (agent reign shippers go crazy)

Sprinkles of supercorp here and there- Just Kara and Lena doing their normal friend shit but Kara being like "woah, I am feeling things maybe"

At ep 8 or so Kara is at the bar with Alex and ask her how she knew with Maggie, that she liked Maggie. And Alex is all "well, I guess I always knew I liked girls but it was always objective. Like, I would think, she is so kind and smart and beautiful and amazing, any guy would be lucky to have her. But something about Maggie just forced me to realize that I was the one feeling these things, not some guy. I don't know, something about her just made alot of things clearer. Like, I realized I was the one driving the car, not a passenger. She made me stop being so passive in my own life" and Kara is quiet the whole time. Alex then ask "why" and Kara is all "no reason". Cut to Lena at L-Corp working on something relevant to the plot (supercorp shippers go crazy) (that conversation inspires Alex to ask Sam out- they then start to date)

Next ep, Kara goes to Lena's office, and is all, "there is something I need to tell you" and Lena is all "I already know" and Kara is shocked an all "how do you know" and Lena is like "in hindsight it was obvious. *list of things that hold double meanings cause miscommunication trope*" "Lee- I would have told you earlier but I-" "It's fine, I get it. You were doing it to protect me" "protect you???" "yeah- you're supergirl". Que Kara sighing and then freaking out, Lena saying Rhea told her, Kara being pulled away by some kind of supe situation, and Lena being all "go get them supergirl"

Kara admits her feelings at the end of the episode. Lena is shocked, but agrees. They agree to go on a date, a real romantic date and not a friend one, but oops- it's ep 9 which means Kara fights reign, goes comatose and then we get angsty, driven lena being like "we gotta fix Kara"

From then on, the show goes like usual, but Alex and Sam are dating and Kara and Lena are as well. The show ends with Season 3, Alex leads Deo, Winn stays but James leaves to help in the future but it really doesn't matter because the show it over. Supercorp is canon, Alex and Sam have a daughter and everyone lives happily ever after.

Edit: forgot to say this orginally but more Cat cameos. I love that woman so much- she has to come back at least twice in season 3 and be like "I leave the city for five minutes and you let her do WHAT? Agent Scully, why on EARTH would you let your sister fight a world killer??? Have you no brains under that thick skull" or something. I just want for her to be there, see Kara and Lena together and pull out of peice of paper from her purse that says "gay" and be like "I knew when you first walked into my office. No straight women would willingly be yelled at that often" or something. Idk, she was just very deeply missed

[im-this-kind-of-girl]

My complete and unhinged Metatron analysis

Hello, I have seen that many people are theorizing about Metatron, so I'm here presenting an analysis of who Metatron is, rather his biblical role and how he may be more connected to the Aziraphale and Crowley than we might believe.

-Also, English is not my first language, so please be patient with me-

ANALYSIS OF METATRON AS A FIGURE WITHIN CHRISTIANITY:

Metatron, has always been a controversial figure in Christianity, full of dualisms.

Let's start with its etymologically. The term Metatron has two completely different translations: one comes from the Greek metradromos meaning "he who pursues with vengeance"; or it is also possible that its origin is from the term meta ton thronon which means "closer to the throne". There are many doubts about his true origin, since it is mentioned in non-canonical versions of the Bible, during Genesis*. However, in the most current and official versions of the Bible, it never appears.

While there is nothing official, the most accepted version is that he is actually the prophet Enoch, Noah's grandfather. Enoch -who used to have his own book of the Bible in earlier versions- was a prophet who had the God-given gift of visiting Heaven through different visions. In his 1st vision, Enoch has the mission to intercede with God on behalf of the fallen angels. In another vision, he sees the Cherubim in Heaven, whom he describes as beings of fire. Later, he is taken by the archangel Michael to the highest heaven. Enoch also travels in his visions or dreams to the tree of knowledge. He is supposed to have lived 365 years and, at the end of his visions, Enoch is chosen by God to become the archangel Metatron, a powerful archangel who is also called the little Yahweh.

There is another explanation for his origin: he is the first being of creation, seated at the left hand of the father, which in tradition is associated with Satan.

The Zohar also describes Metatron as "the king of angels" who reigns over the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

When Enoch was on Earth, he devoted himself to writing a book containing the secrets of wisdom until he was taken to Heaven to become an angel. God allowed Enoch to continue this same ministry in Heaven** .

FUN FACTS:

Metatron was the one who led the Israelites to the Promised Land (Moses).

Metatron is the patron angel of children.

Metatron transmits God's daily orders to the angels Gabriel and Raphael.

Not being an angel from his origin, Metatron is associated with the angels in charge of Death, he supervises them when they help the souls to make their transition from the physical to the spiritual plane.

He is canonically the most powerful archangel in the entire celestial realm, second only to God. His role is similar to Lucifer's original rol, the right hand of God.

The archangel Metatron is in charge of directing the ascension and activation of the human being's light body. Having been human, he knows the path of enlightenment. He represents the potential for transformation and purification of the soul when it sets out to transcend matter to unite with the pure spirit of the Divine. Metatron is in charge of guiding the souls towards the light, towards purity (insert the fact that he asks for coffee with almonds, which in Christianity is related to purification).

METATRON IN THE LORE OF GOOD OMENS

It is worth mentioning that in the original Good Omens book, Metatron is the only angel that appears besides Aziraphale. While other angels are mentioned, Metatron is the only one who appears, firstly when Zira wants to talk to God, and secondly when Beelzebub and Metatron make presence at the Tadfield airbase to try to convince Adam to restart the end of the world (it is not Gabriel who appears in the book).

And, considering that the 3rd season is based on the sequel to the book that never came out, it makes sense that Metatron would have had a bigger role because he was always a present character.

HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH CROWLEY AND ZIRA:

So, from all this information, I would like to point out that Metatron not only used to be human and knows the "true path of purification," but he is also in charge of caring the tree of knowledge.

You know, that tree?

Aziraphale and Crowley represent the two things that oppose his very existence: an angel that is becoming more and more human with each passing day and the Serpent of Temptation that keeps doubting and questioning the edges and the difference between good and evil. These two not only were they not punished, but together they are two extremely powerful entities, perhaps as powerful as he is.

They are a threat… but only together.

Metatron can see in Aziraphale the very opposite of what he represents, someone who needs to return to the path of divinity:

Aziraphale, the supposed guardian of Eden, who started out as an angel, who gradually transformed into someone with more and more human habits, falling into almost all the deadly sins, in love with the Serpent who tempted humans to eat from the forbidden fruit of the tree of knowledge. Someone who loves forbidden books and bibles, with a hedonistic and condescending personality who managed to deceive his brother angels for millennia to protect humanity and his earthly life***.

It would also explain his disdain towards Crowley, why he looked at him with that face: Metatron is the protector of the tree that Crowley managed to corrupt.

To all this we can add that Metatron/Enoch renounced his humanity to become something superior, while Crowley and Aziraphale consider humanity to be something superior worth defending and loving. They see in humans what Enoch could not see behind his judgment of false celestial purity. They are two supernatural entities who managed to love humanity more than he, a human, ever could.

These parallels are not only born out of my obsession, no. The fact that Metatron has separated them has a much more possible and deep significance.

Narratively, this can only mean one thing: Metatron is the villain, the perfect antagonist to Aziracrow.

CLARIFICATIONS *Genesis is where the Adam and Eve story is found, the Garden of Eden, the moment that changes Zira and Crowley forever…. **That "book that contained the secrets of wisdom"… is it the book of life? Is Metatron the only one who has access to it? ***I would like to clarify, that for me the real main character of Good Omens is Aziraphale, that's why I find more comparisons with him, followed by Crowley as co-protagonist, but I will continue this theory another day.

[afozine]

AFO ZINE INTEREST CHECK RESPONSES

Thank you to everyone who responded! We appreciate the feedback and are currently planning how to organize the zine based on the answers we received. Now lets look at the results from the survey.

A total of 47 people responded to the survey as a whole

Our first question was: Are you interested in an AFO zine?

33 of you said you wanted to participate as a contributor. While approximately 13 of you said you would be interested in this seeing this zine be made, but you would not want to participate as a contributor. Meanwhile one person said they want to participate, but aren't sure if they have enough time.

Which we do understand if you're unsure if you'll be able to participate due to time constraints. We're not going to be super strict on the schedule and we'll be willing to work with you if you need extensions. We want to give as many of you as possible the chance to participate. So keep that in mind if you're still on the fence about this.

-

Our second question was: If you are interested in participating, what would you like to participate as?

17 of you said you would like to be artists

21 of said you would like to be a writer

4 of you said you would like to be a mod

12 of you said you would like to be a Beta reader

4 of you said you would like to be a Text Editor

1 of you said you would like anything that would make you useful

We are happy with these results as with this amount of artists and writers we will be able to make a decent sized zine. So once again thank you all for your eagerness to participate. Mod applications will be going up very soon so those who are interested in being a mod please keep an eye out for that.

-

Our third question was: What would you like to see from this zine?

Many different responses for this question. Some of you didn't care as long as it had as much of AFO in it as possible, but others were more specific in what they wanted to see. So I will sum up the most common responses here.

Meta essays

Art, Fics and Comics

Dark/Horror theme

Angst and fluff content

Headcanon section

Manga shots

Theories

Dad for One

Shipping content

Before canon content

Merch

A broad picture of his life (childhood to potato years)

Relationship with Yoichi

As you can see there is a wide range of answers. Now to address some of these.

Meta Essays: We would be interested in having some meta essays to be in the zine. We want this to be a celebration of AFO's character as a whole so it would be nice to see some of you include your own analysis on him in the zine. It also gives a wider arrangement of content so that's also a bonus.

Dark/Horror theme: We've been thinking about going with this type of theme before we even posted the interested check so we're happy to see some of you like that idea. It would fit him well and would be fun to base the zine on. We'll release more info about this soon.

Angst/Fluff: We will welcome both of these things in the zine. We don't want it to be solely angst or fluff. A good mixture of both is our goal.

Headcanons: We will have a section where people can include their own headcanons about AFO.

Theories: Theories will be allowed in the meta section, so if you want to write about a theory you have about AFO then you can select the meta section when completing the contributor application form.

Manga Shots: Unfortunately we have decided not to include this. With the amount of potential contributors we have we do not feel it is necessary to include this though it isn't a bad idea. Thank you for the suggestion!

Arrangement of Zine: What we would like most in this zine is for there to be a wide coverage of AFO's life. From his childhood to his reign of terror to potato years etc. So there will be different sections for each which you can sign up for. We will have a list available of all the important events that happened to AFO that you can refer to if you're struggling to come up with an idea of what to do.

Dad for One: Preferably we will want as little DFO as possible, after all there was a zine already created dedicated to DFO. However, considering how big of an impact DFO has had on a lot of AFO fans we will allow some to discuss it in the headcanon section and only allow 1-2 pieces about it in the AU section. Keeping in mind that we do not want either of those sections to only be about DFO and want a variety of content there.

Merch: We are thinking about doing only digital merch. For example, sticker sheets and posters that you can print out if you want. We'll include a section where artists can sign up to create some if they want.

Ships: We have decided to keep our stance on not allowing ships to be included. Sorry to anyone this may disappoint!

-

Our fourth question was: Which would you be most interested in seeing in this zine?

15 of you said art

13 of you said fics

6 of you said comics

1 person said fics and comics

11 of you said all of the above

We will strive to have a good mix of all three! We had a pretty decent response to the interest check survey so we should have enough of each to make everyone happy.

-

About the suggestion box...

Thank you to those who left something in the suggestion box! We will take into account everything that was put in there. Some of your suggestions were addressed in the previous section above so we hope that satisfies some of your concerns Other things that were put in there we are still discussing among ourselves for now.

-

More info is to be released soon. We will be posting our mod applications very soon so keep an eye out for that if that is something you are interested in. We are really excited to make this happen for you all and hope you will remain patient as we sort things out.

We would like to mention we now have a X/twitter page running: @/theafozine. So if you have an account there feel free to follow us.

As always if you have any questions or concerns please leave a ask in our ask box or dm us directly if you want. Have a lovely day!

[iridescentscarecrow]

hi i'm the op of that post (stackslip) PLEASE elaborate on chainsaw man's metanarrative

hi! um. you've given me free reign, i hope you know what you're doing. anyway: fair warning in advance that this is based entirely on how i like to interpret and think of the csm story and doesn't necessarily hold true, partly because of the level of abstraction that i'm operating at here. i'm normal and i like metanarratives a normal amount. this might be a little long. but.

um. thinking about how protagonism in CSM is inflicted on denji by the author insert that is makima. i've brought up the Icon of chainsaw man before in my part 2 analyses but basically:

the Chainsaw Man is the role that denji occupies in the story, right? it's the title of the manga. it's what the public Sees him as. it's what makima quite literally produces. the relationship between denji and the chainsaw man in both aspiration and idealisation forms a major stem of both part 1 and part 2's narrative.

this production occurs on two levels: (1) what Chainsaw Man is, and should be, and (2) how denji is developed as a protagonist by makima.

"you don't get him at all." chainsaw man is her blorbie (i think i'm funny). the point is that the Presentation of chainsaw man, the one that the audience is initially set up to expect, is almost entirely synonymous with makima's version of the CSM that we get later. i think a lot about how part one borrows from, amplifies, and later subverts shounen tropes. the CSM as an idea persists in how it's discordant from denji's normality in part 2 but part 1's direction in how denji voluntarily inhabits the chainsaw is what i'm pointing at here. (there's a lot to be said about how denji's idealisation as tied to the icon of the CSM is intertwined with his wants but that's not relevant in this meta except in the minutiae of his adherence / resistance to this role.)

the thing is that makima is instrumental in pushing this role onto denji. she sees chainsaw man, he is chainsaw man. it's (and i sound insane here but please hold on, i beg) like writing.

i think her addressing him in the last battle scene, the "i'll kill you personally" is indicative of her finally divorcing denji from the chainsaw; forming The Chainsaw Man in full, while still obviously curating the denji that would support this formation throughout the story.

a small side here but: "but she never even saw me once, even from the start." // fujimoto's writing actively utilises characters towards the end goal of shaping the protagonist. this struggle here is one between a character and an author.

now continuing; the way that makima provides for and then systematically removes these initial connections simulates traditional story structures with its setup, its confrontation and resolution. her excellence as an antagonist rests upon her identity as a narrative device which develops the protagonist and pushes him through this structure. the conflicts and the loss that a protagonist usually naturally (at least in-world) goes through in a story are instead all artificially created by makima.

"how could i make you so hurt that you'd no longer be capable of living a normal life?" // her molding of denji isn't just passive emotional manipulation, it's active writing. she herself is aware of the tropes and the character relationships that are being built up, that are being subverted. she herself embodies, espouses and resolves the themes of multiple arcs (thinking of the end of the bomb devil and the darkness devil arc here / thinking of how she draws the shutters on ignorance and on wanting).

there's a lot i try to extrapolate from her commentary on movies during her date with denji especially in context with the story simulation that she herself is doing throughout the manga. i find it interesting how the ending to the movie date or the "good" movie founds itself on shared feeling: denji sees makima cry at the same movie as he does.

"the drinks yesterday were delicious." // you talked about her goals already in your post but makima's search for real intimacy (and equality in a relationship) coincides with denji's one. to me, it comes off as a writer trying to find a mirror of understanding in their own creation. the way she visualises the CSM (as "chaos" to her order) reveals a relationship quite like the flawed connection that one has with characters one makes: and this relationship is what denji (the 'stage' of this process) responds to so emphatically: "she wasn't looking at me this whoole time."

so, yeah; CSM to me operates at two levels: the one with the deeply human character relationships that construct the story and another layer where fiction and ideation mesh. it's important to note that this is something fjmt quite likes doing in his other work: using characters to specifically engage with the telling of his stories or exploring his characters' nuanced reactions to fiction and its weight.

thinking of makima as the 'Author' is misleading, though, and it ignores the fact that makima is both a device deployed by the actual author and in-world by the structure that are the higher ups. she is the control devil; she controls the scaffoldings of the story but she in herself is an agent of the author, of the narrative, of the aforementioned higher ups.

i don't know. is an artist ever truly original in their art? do they not operate within a greater structure, borrowing from and being regulated by it and its interpretation of their work? are makima's plans not ultimately upset by her creation?

denji materialises as a character from multiple active sources instead of the unitary source that makima believes herself to be. he's a passive character and yet he refuses to be a stable creation (psst. it's that universal tussle between the living art and the artist -- something fjmt's already tackled in his oneshots).

i don't know (2). this interpretation's been simmering in my head for a while, but i wasn't very Sure about it. but hm. this writeup primarily bases itself off part one (since it's well. complete) but image and image production specifically coming into fruition as a theme in part two makes me feel increasingly confident in this interpretation. it's strange how it somehow all ties back into storytelling.

[yudrein-aile]

Meta: Emperors and Usurpers (1/?) - The Reign of Emperor Katchian la Orr

It is only fitting that in a story about an Empire whose imperial lineage has withstood a millennia, it comes to a disastrous end once a new Emperor not from that lineage takes the throne. In my opinion, the reason Turning is such an appealing novel, is in part the author’s narrative style. Kuyu is a master in mentioning small matters and bringing them to immense plot relevance much later, but never in a way that the reader feels overwhelmed or could not imagine this turn. It makes re reading this novel a genuine joy because you start to pick up narrative parallels and foreshadowing.

This writing style extends to the politics present in the novel as well, which leads me to my main point and topic of this meta post: Keilusa la Orr, even in the first time line, was preparing to leave Kishiar with all the tools necessary to seize the throne himself in case Katchian turned out to be a tyrant.

Or short, Keilusa wanted his brother to do a regicide.

To put this into context, we first have to look at why Keilusa might be preparing in such a way and for that, we have to go to a time much beyond Keilusa and Kishiar: Yuder’s execution.

At the time of Yuder’s execution, the Orr Empire was already deeply destabilized.

“You are a criminal who forgot your duties and responsibilities as the commander of the cavalry, and dared to conspire with an absurd claim that you acted for the sake of the world. You trespassed into the forbidden sanctuary, attempting to steal the World Sphere. Do you acknowledge your involvement in the assassination of Duke of Peletta nine years ago, the destruction of the Pearl Tower seven years ago, the Red Field Rebellion five years ago, and countless other incidents that cannot be enumerated? When the truth was revealed, you shamelessly attempted to flee by joining forces with other countries.” (Chapter 1)

The accusations leveled against Yuder are quite heavy, especially considering he really only did two of them. He did kill Kishiar, even if that was on Katchian’s orders as he feared Kishiar organizing a rebellion (Chapter 166), and Yuder  attempted to steal the World Sphere, which we know is practically useless.

The point, however, are the other things Yuder is accused of, such as the destruction of Pearl Tower, the Red Field Rebellion, and collaboration with other countries. We’ll take those one by one.

Yuder had nothing to do with the destruction of Pearl Tower, even if he did think it was a “good riddance” (Chapter 34). Pearl Tower, however, was still the leading institution on magic on the continent (Chapter 26). Its destruction had to be a tremendous loss for the Orr Empire.

Similarly, the Red Field Rebellion appears to have been one of the biggest players attempting to kill Katchian during his reign (Chapter 630). At this point, the people were rallying against “the Emperor’s tyranny” (Chapter 630). Never mind that at the same time, the duchies were pressured by Katchian, so that they also didn’t particularly like him either. It has to be noted here that Yuder, once again, was the one stopping Marin’s first assassination attempt and it took knights sent by Katchian, the imperial army, and the Cavalry to take her down (630).

But why were the people rebelling against Katchian? To answer this question, we have to examine how Katchian (didn’t) care for the Empire and its people.

Yuder himself notes that Katchian was “the type who insisted on personally verifying everything. If put positively, he was cautious; negatively, overly suspicious. As he grew older, he began to doubt everything more and more, and in the end, he didn't even dare to deal closely with his overly powerful subordinates.” (107)

Katchian, ironically much like Yuder, decides to deal with everything himself. He doesn’t delegate, not because he necessarily considers himself to be the best at everything, which is Yuder’s issue, but because he doesn’t trust his subordinates. As the ruler of an Empire, Katchian’s unwillingness to rely on others, however, means that he makes decisions incredibly slowly and solutions are found similarly slowly. Acting on your own might result in quick solutions, yet the Emperor might assume you seek to betray him as you didn’t ask for permission.

Additionally, the Emperor is not shy in getting rid of anyone opposing him. After the poisoning event, Yuder recalls that speaking ill in front of the Emperor during the first disaster resulted in those people “secretly [being] killed by drinking the second poison that induced a burning throat.” (151) Katchian wanted such things to be handled in his absence, and the one to handle all kinds of assassination, more often than not, was Yuder. This went as far as Yuder calling himself “a tool of punishment when the Emperor suspected someone of treason.” (166)

It becomes evident that Katchian’s style of ruling appears focused on holding a few powerful people on a tight leash. He sends Yuder to kill Kishiar, forcing him to “Show me your worth, the reason I should keep the Cavalry around” (1031). Katchian relies on blackmail, on endlessly having people prove their loyalty to him, while at the same time using their actions to put “the final nail in the coffin” (815) if he desired to get rid of them.

Katchian’s entourage was filled with “many individuals who veiled their crooked ambitions as loyalty, intending to shake their own lords, and even the whole country. […] These types of individuals were loyal when their superiors followed the paths they desired. However, the moment things took a different turn, they would change their direction, claiming it was all for your sake, ready to tear your throat out.” (243) Thus it was no surprise that Katchian kept Yuder, as his most useful attack dog, on a short leash, and that Katchian, who “despised any potential threats, […] showed mercy to those who kept a low profile and collaborated.” (340)

Yuder continued to prove over and over again that he was loyal to the Emperor, yet Katchian did very little personally to repay Yuder for that. We know that Katchian did nothing to help elevate Yuder’s status in a meaningful way. Yuder was known as a “lowly commoner and an omega, treated as neither a proper man nor a woman” (999) and he was surrounded of rumors making him out to be a monster who would “cruelly use his power to kill people whenever he got angry”. (999)

At the same time, Katchian bequeathed Yuder with “with countless lands and treasures” (173), for which Yuder did not care. To outsiders, Katchian was honoring Yuder’s service in a way Yuder could not even complain about, while actually giving him very little of use. A perfect example of this is the black thornwood staff Yuder receives from Katchian.

“In fact, the item was of no use to an Awakener. Unlike mages, the Awakeners did not utilize magic power. Though it might have some use if already processed into a magic tool, in its pure magic stone form, it was merely a useless ornament. The black thornwood that held it was also not the commonly used white birch or the noble applewood favored by the Founding Emperor, but rather a wood that was prone to decay and weakness, and thus not often used in fine craftsmanship. Emperor Katchian must have known that the magic stone staff would not be of much use to Yuder. But if the Emperor had bestowed it as a symbol of the Commander of the Cavalry, such a point could not be dwelt upon.” (389)

Katchian also continuously “praised Yuder's abilities as the Empire's most valuable jewel in the presence of foreign envoys” (473), which rings hollow as Katchian praising himself for having such a useful servant.

When Yuder speaks up about the correlation between the disasters and the cracks, he is not believed by Katchian either, despite, essentially, providing at least a hint for the disasters striking the West and South, providing a starting point for researching counter measures.

It has to be noted that the other people also did not believe Yuder (Chapter 1), but the main point here, however, is that Katchian, despite Yuder’s loyalty, did not trust him.

To return to the topic of Katchian’s rule, it was to be noted that he enjoyed the lavish lifestyle of an Emperor.

“Seeing the simple yet elegant dishes made with seasonal ingredients, Yuder was reminded of the imperial cuisine he had experienced under Emperor Katchian. The food he had seen then had been uniformly large, flashy, and seasoned lavishly with expensive spices. Despite the increasing scarcity of ingredients due to ongoing climatic anomalies and disasters, Emperor Katchian had never cut corners. His extravagant imperial cuisine had quickly become symbolic of both him and the then Orr Empire.” (Chapter 471)

The people of the Orr Empire are suffering from “earthquakes, droughts, and all kinds of disasters […] and countless people dying” (301), but the Emperor throws lavish banquets and enjoys all the delicacies. It is easy to see why there were so many attempts to kill him. Yuder notes that even during banquets, where he might have been invited to as a guest, Yuder was most familiar with “the corner of the shade below the platform, where he could perfectly protect Emperor Katchian from any assassins that might suddenly barge in.” (999)

Even at the start of Katchian’s reign, years before the disasters happen, the situation is troubled. “All kinds of crimes, including human trafficking, raged out of control as illegal fighting arenas became popular among the dissolute nobles” (269). The one to deal with these issues is Yuder, though it is noted that Katchian gained “considerable fame” (269), although the novel does not elaborate whether that is because Katchian seized the assets of the nobles or because this actually helped the people. Considering what we see of his rule long-term, I would bet on the former.

Now the final question is, why did Katchian turn out this way?

If we look at Katchian’s origins, we’re faced with a child, who grew up, maybe not even in his biological father’s care, as a bastard forced to hide his identity, living not with his family’s riches, but in poverty (Chapter 630-632).

This only changes when the Diarca suddenly need a crown prince candidate. They want to establish themselves as the next imperial lineage. After succeeding to do so in the first timeline, they showed a “subtle sense of superiority […] [which] stirred considerable resentment” (148), but that doesn’t mean they actually wanted a competent emperor. For the longest time, people assumed that “Duke Diarca was the real Emperor” (166).

They want someone easily controlled and thus, most likely, also do not see the point in educating him properly. During the harvest festival, Yuder notes that “the person causing trouble around the Cavalry was Duke Diarca, even if it seemed outwardly to be the Crown Prince.” (121) While Katchian is Crown Prince, the Diarca hide many of their schemes behind his power, waiting for their chance to act. Duke Diarca at one point notes that he has more soldiers, that all the judges are paid off, he has firmly established their family as the most powerful in the Empire (Chapter 1019).

Naturally, Katchian is not content with simply being Diarca’s puppet emperor. Yuder recalls that in the “in his previous life, [Katchian] had never contradicted Diarca or acted alone until he became Emperor” (152), which implies that he was bidding his time.

While Katchian is Emperor, he is characterized as someone who cared about maintaining his position and is described as “sensitive to external recognition” (166). Yuder also notes that Katchian did pay “considerable attention to state affairs, and skillfully pacified and collaborated with the nobles. However, he was relentless if he ever suspected someone of coveting his position.” (166)

Considering all this, it paints the picture of an Emperor deeply concerned with the matters of the imperial court, while leaving little time and awareness for the Empire at large, thus resulting in the continued suffering of its citizens.

It is, however, no surprise that Katchian is so concerned with himself. Even as a prince, he was “compared to a splendid flower since his childhood for his exceptional beauty.” (121) His facial features are the only reason he ever became crown prince in the first place. They are, in a way, his only legitimacy as the crown prince selection was rigged and Keilusa’s original choice for an heir died (Chapter 169).

Duke Diarca also seeks to reaffirm this believe in Katchian as we see in this scene:

“Do you know who gave me this mirror?” “It was... I heard it was His Highness, Duke Diarca.” “Yes.” Katchian’s lips curled into a derisive smile, reflecting in the mirror. “He sent me this, telling me to reflect on my status every day.” (204)

It is thus also not surprising that Katchian “erased all traces of the entire imperial family” (347) so that not even a portrait of them could be found. It is not just that he perceived Kishiar as a threat, it gives Katchian more room to establish his own legitimacy.

Katchian early on develops a sever inferiority complex over his looks. We see this most severely in the aftermath of the assassination attempt.

“Though Katchian, the crown prince, had fully recovered from the physical wounds of the assassin's attack, his mental state had not improved at all. Every day, he lashed out and broke objects, as if his previously wicked laughter had been but an illusion. The primary cause of his madness was the unbearable scar on his face.” (303)

Katchian threatens his servants of several occasions, escalating even as far as injuring and killing them. To deal with his own mental state, he further takes drugs capable of functioning as pain killers for their “mood-enhancing effects” (205).

Of course we cannot talk about Katchian’s mental state without mentioning the Sage. The Sage’s doctrine that “the superior should punish and make [the weak] repent” (493) must have deeply appealed to Katchian. Yuder notes that “Katchian’s trust in the man had been deep at the time” (493) and that if Yuder had not connected him to the Star of Nagran, Katchian would’ve executed him. So in part, Katchian’s deteriorating mental state cannot be blamed just on himself, but also on the Sage, who manipulated him. The aftereffects of this severely impacted his relationship to Yuder as well, as he grew mistrustful of Yuder too (Chapter 136).

And now, the final nail in the coffin of Katchian’s rule: his foreign policy. While Katchian did not react appropriately to the disasters, he did try to help the West recover and initiate changes in the Empire. He poured “effort into commercial policies” (345) and began “trading with other countries much more actively for a while” (345). It is noted that this stands in direct opposition to Keilusa’s rule. It should also be pointed out here that Katchian participated in illegal trade, gaining the magic stone of the Cavalry Commander’s staff through such means (389).

Katchian’s foreign policy was protested against, but failed to achieve genuine results against his will. ‘Positively’, we have to say that Katchian at the very least did not let xenophobia stop him from trying to exploit foreign countries. Still, he feared that “envoys from other countries, including the South, might extract information about the Cavalry or the Awakener management system” (391) and thus remained wary of them and did not allow them to interact with Yuder. Had he allowed for a closer collaboration, he might have realized which Southern traders might be out to scam citizens of the empire.

However, the project failed as Katchian’s policy “didn’t bring about effective results without sufficient disaster recovery” (345). Naturally, the result was Yuder being sent out for assassinations once again.

It is, however, understandable while Katchian might try to trade with other countries, especially considering the growing influence of Nelarn. Katchian “was wary of Nelarn swallowing him up” (173), even if that never happened until Yuder died. To understand why Katchian was so scared of Nelarn, we have to take a brief look at King Ejian. Yuder describes that Ejain, upon meeting him for the first time “seemed less like a human named Ejain and more like 'the King of Nelarn' itself” (247). Few rulers managed to lead their nation well “amidst the tumultuous times.” (173)

Ejain, opposed to Katchian, fought his battle to even get the throne, his legitimacy was not an issue. He was well-admired as a king, “never committed any tyranny” (247), and even stabilized the Western countries (Chapter 277). As an Awakener too, Ejain personally was incredibly powerful. Under his rule, Nelarn grew into a power comparable to the Empire, willing to risk war with the Orr Empire (301).

Ejain going as far as sneaking somebody into the prison to break out a man convicted of high treason is nothing short than risking hostile retaliation, which means that Ejain was not only confident that Nelarn could withstand it, but also that Yuder would be worth it.

Thus Katchian’s Empire was falling apart while the neighboring country was thriving.

So where does that leave us? With a picture of a rather incompetent Emperor, who leads the Orr Empire down the path of ruin. While Katchian could have done nothing to foresee the disasters, he could have reacted more appropriately. His habit of executing everyone speaking out against him also did not help. Considering that he showed the tendencies that would later characterize his rule already early, it is no surprise that Keilusa, upon realizing his brother is healthy, started planning to give Kishiar the capability to keep Katchian in check or, if more drastic measures were required, get rid of him altogether.

[unabashedly-so]

💙💜🩷 SDV Bachelor HC 🩷💜💙

How much has each bachelor explored their bisexuality?

Content warning: compulsive heteronormativity, loss of family, grief, risky sexual behavior mention, drinking mention. SFW.

✨The Bachelors✨

Elliott

look me in the eye and just try to tell me this man doesn't already know. i dare you i fuckin' dare you i WANT YOU TO

that line on the 10 heart boat scene about not knowing he could feel that way about another man is bullshit and that is a piece of canon I toss into the sea.

now please understand the majority of this is colored by my very vivid hc of Elliott's upbringing and young adult life, but you're literally reading a hc post that is labeled hc so you bought the ticket now board the train. choo choo mfs.

the low hanging fruit is that this is a man that canonically spends hours on hair care, dresses like that, talks like that, etc. etc.. Yes, you can be cishet etc. and do that, sure.

and don't get me wrong, it's valid that Elliott could just Be Like That. (I love and respect the hell out of that incorrect opinion)

but this man is penny-romance novel cover coded. just. think about that. think about this active CHOICE he is making.

ffs he lives on a BEACH and dresses in a THREE-PIECE SUIT with his PERFECTLY COIFFED hair that he has to spend HOURS on because that's what happens when you LIVE. ON. A. BEACH.

i am going to have an aneurysm about this man's life choices rn

he's arguably pretty self-secure*, which tracks because you don't get to be his age and not have some better understanding of yourself. As others have pointed out, there's no real ""growth"" in Elliott's arc because boy came whole because HE BEEN KNEW HE BEEN THROUGH THIS ALREADY. He's secure in his identity because he's worked it out already! He's moved on! focusing on his career and legacy now that he knows who is he and who he's not!!

*dont make me drag out the receipts his part is already long enough just trust me ok

now meet Elliott in his early 20's and wow, buddy, you are trying way too hard I promise you things are gonna be okay sweetheart

speaking of his early 20's, it's hc to me that he did, uhhhh, so much exploring. of everything. and everyone in the English and Theater department during university.

King Slut, long may he reign. 🙏

just. someone who's not as self-secure and self-aware would not be able to own the aesthetic PLUS the temperament we see with Elliott, who really only gets flustered with the intimate interpersonal stuff because he's a romantic and it's meaningful. He's confident in who he is and the kind of person he wants to be, and you don't get to that point in life without having done a lot of experimenting and soul-searching.

I could write a whole fucking meta on this boy, but for today: 9/10 he knows it, owns it, enjoys it, but he's got more interesting things going on in his opinion than to make one of his core personality traits just Gay/Queer/Bi/Pan, etc. He has an AESTHETIC and BI BY YOBA he's sticking to it.

also he can walk in heels better than you.

Harvey

Hmm, he's actually hard to get a read on for me. There's a few others in the fandom who might have a better take than me, but here's what I can offer.

first let's grant him that he's older. With age comes wisdom, experience, etc. the older bachelor/ettes are just going to be at an advantage vs the younger ones.

also... like 8 years in college. I cannot be swayed away from this as a crucial part of his journey.

twinkle TWINK-le little snack.

it just feels like one of those things he felt happening in high school and might have gotten bullied for it because everyone Knew but he couldn't/wouldn't just own it.

but then in college he finally realized that owning it would give him the power, so he did. kind of. very quietly.

he probably had a boyfriend or two in undergrad. They were definitely the kind to hold hands from the coffee shop to the library. you know the ones, we've all seen 'em. <3

and isn't he just so lucky that he can get butterflies from girls too?

a blessing and a burden for this man with anxiety because, oh no, now everyone's cute.

by the time he gets to Pelican town, his last relationship kind of ended on a sour note, so he's a little discouraged from pursuing romantic relationships, hence why he's a bit guarded and shy and nervous.

he gets a 8/10, he's just quiet about it because who's business is it but his own? also, like, he's literally the doctor for everyone. He's gotta keep some confidentiality in this small town.

Sebastian

while he doesn't show it, I'd say Sebastian is actually quite comfortable with being bi.

I mean like as comfortable as he can be around people in general.

He doesn't bring it up, and doesn't really let anyone know either, but again that's just kind of his MO, regardless of gender.

now when he's Together with someone, well that's a different story. we stan possessive Sebastian in this house 🫡

he probably wouldn't bring it up with the gang unless someone else brought it up first. 🤷‍♀️

would probably give some semi-defensive response of "yeah, what of it??" to his friends, but a low hearts farmer might get a coldly aggro "why are you asking? That's none of your business."

he and Maru Know about each other but keep those conversations private. hashtag just sibling things ig

has definitely kissed guys at concerts before. Lots of people can also provide a feeling of anonymity, letting him get lost in the crowd and not have to worry so much. 10/10

Shane

closeted sportsballer. As a former Closeted Sportsballer, I can see this going two ways.

First option: you DO NOT explore that unless you want things to get real weird REAL FAST.

Like, I'm not even talking locker room nonsense, let's be mature here. Even if you do not like your teammates, you WILL still share a Sports Bond with them built on a shared passion, a common goal, and lots of comiseration.

So if you're already on iffy social standing, which I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say Shane might have had... you're gonna have a bad time.

Then after his gridball career ended, it may have already been baked in that that was Dangerous. OR he could have just been so far down the path of self-loathing that he stopped looking at people romantically.

OR OR--part of his self-loathing actually opened him up to exploring his sexuality......

......which is a very nice way of saying he took part in a lot of risky sexual encounters. 😮‍💨 (with all genders! One night stands do not discriminate!)

so if there were any feelings involved, it was... not good or conducive to self-understanding. Probably made things worse.

cue the drinking! the depression! all the risky behaviors!

ALTERNATIVELY... Option two: he does explore Feelings For Dudes and it could have played into his sportsball exit. 🤔

Hi. Let me just reiterate personal experience here: LEAVING A TEAM CAN REALLY FUCK YOU UP depending on your life outside the sport. Sports teams are a social support group, like, I really hate the phrase "like family"... but literally structurally so similar. If you already don't have a strong family life outside of the sport (like Shane has admitted to, let's fuckin goooooo), AND being on a team is an overall positive thing in your life??

Leaving your team (willingly or unwillingly) takes away that social support. And not just the social/emotional support, but the structure to your life, the routine, the feeling of belonging, the PURPOSE!!!

gee, wonder what kind of feelings those can bring about in a person. like a sad chicken man.

are we seeing a trend here???????

Ok this definitely got more into a sportsball psychological study, but what I'm saying is my money's on gridball heavily influencing his trajectory but since he DIDN'T have the family or social supports outside of it, he crashed and burned afterwards. Contrast with Alex below who DID have social supports and--

focus, bisexuality.

Personally, I like the idea that Shane's been with dudes, but it's never been anything emotionally healthy (except maybe one pre-gridball-exodus which could have prompted the leave......🤔👀) or fulfilling.

5/10, would be 6 but he got -1 because it was driven by self-loathing. >:(

somebody come show him some mlm love!!!

Sam

baby boy. sweet baby boy.

the younger bachelor/ettes are at a bit of a disadvantage because they're in the time of their life where they would be exploring their sexualities in a conducive environment. Not to say the valley isn't but there's, uh, only 11 other singletons there and they all know each other sooooo...

that said, due to Kent's military career, it's likely Sam has had time living outside of Pelican Town, so may be a bit farther ahead than, say, Sebastian who's lived there his whole life.

speaking of Kent, it's canon that Daddy has been in and out of his life and tbf I don't remember exactly how Sam feels about that but

I'm JUST SAYIN'. baby boy gets a whiff of attention from some buff dude who wants to make him his baby girl?? melting.

you know the trope of how girls with absent fathers sometimes overcorrect for that and seek out male attention like crazy? well, who says boys are any different??

what I'm getting at is this: you're trying to tell me Sam has NEVER had a raging crush on Alex?????

I mean fr it was probably like. Alex told him "good choice" on his ice cream flavor once and it was all downhill from there.

plus I'm hoping he's got a solid enough friendship with Sebastian (and Abigail) that they could talk about these things without it getting weird.

also, singer/lead guitarist in a band?? come on, too easy.

anyway 5/10, once again a bit oblivious until he gets smacked in the face. Definitely a flavor of "haha no homo bro! :):) ...... unless...?? 👀"

Alex

closeted sportsballer, round 2 EXCEPT

he canonically admits he crushes real easy. so just statistically speaking, there's an equal likelihood that he's crushed on the male singletons of the valley, too. Which totally doesn't even take into consideration his gridballer time, which I'll get to in a second.

he also admits his crushes don't usually last very long. part of that probably has to do with a lot with attachment issues (seriously he should be more messed up than he is), but if gridball is just SDV American Football, there's probably a good deal of internalized homophobia Alex has had to either work through or not work through. hence why his not het crushes might not last long.

but confusing and conflicting as they may be, THEY'RE STILL THERE. just. probably presenting more like a "wow I'm really noticing this person a lot lately huh. I mean I guess they look pretty good and seem kind of cool..." he's completely and utterly oblivious to so much, his own feelings included.

so what I'm saying is there was a brief window of time where Alex unknowingly had a crush on Sam and, listen, under the right circumstances Sam/Alex (Smalex?) could have been canonized--don'T BOO ME, I'm RIGHT

as for gridball, compulsive heteronormativity is absolutely rampant so there's no way he could have felt comfortable exploring his interest in other gender(s). ESPECIALLY in his case where he's still kind of on the outside, trying to model himself to fit a certain kind of mold. Just, no chance, absolutely none.

and really, Idk, between him and Haley I'm starting to get real compulsive heteronormativity vibes now... not that they're mad about it, but they were kinda forced into those roles and, well, the shoes KIND OF fit I GUESS...

you might say it was ... they're kind of sh... shoeho--shoehorn--*shot*

Anyway, boy's represso. 2/10, if you called him bi he'd say wait why are you leaving , what did you want to tell me???

[caliburn-the-sword]

i think one of the biggest let downs for me in ouat was the daily mirror (honestly my own fault for thinking too hard). i'm sure that this has been said a hundred times but i feel so much about it.

not to be captain of the obvious, but within the very first few episodes of season 1 the major power structures in storybrooke are established: mayor's office, sheriff's station, mr gold's shop, and the daily mirror. prior to emma's arrival as the saviour, all of these uphold regina's reign.

then over the course of the first season (with exception), you see the figureheads of these establishments lose their position some way or the other. graham dies early in the series, sidney glass loses his job and then gets arrested, and this all cumulates in the finale of season 1 and the beginning of season 2, where everyone's got their memories back and regina, while not formally losing her position as mayor, but does face the backlash of the entire town. gold is a notable exception to this since the writers always intended for him to be a major player, but it only takes him til season 3 to no longer own his shop cause he died, and then again in season 4 when he's banished.

but beyond this, everyone regina had in her pocket was replaced by someone on emma's side. emma herself takes over the role of sheriff when graham dies and that's where we see the first crack in the foundation of regina's authority. belle becomes the owner of the shop both times gold is indisposed. i'd like to reiterate for regina that while she never formally loses the role, david acts as a stand in during early season 2 to fill in that leadership role over the general town, and then in season 3 we see snow become mayor in title for a time (whatever happened to that plot...?)

circling back to the start, the only one that is never replaced is sidney in the daily mirror, which arguably should be the most important role to fill post breaking the curse since meta wise, the magic mirror is the evil queen's most iconic henchman, more than the huntsman ever was. additionally, i'm a very big fan of free press. it's SO influential and could have played a much bigger role in storybrooke. sidney had clearly been replaced, given we still see newspapers throughout the seasons, but i just wish something more could have been done with it.

my number one nomination AND expectation was that this was gonna be a slowburn of sorts to build up henry as he grew up over the series. not only would it be perfect for the obvious reason of henry's subsequent author storyline, but there would be something delicious about regina's most loyal confidant eventually being replaced by her own son. something it being some kind of foil, where instead of the loyalty being built upon obsession and coercion and control, it's built on mutual respect and love and trust. which would then ALSO tie in very nicely to the ending of season 6 when regina becomes mayor again, and of course her and emma are allies.

i assumed that this was pretty much confirmed during the whole author storyline, and that the second he became working age in the usa (forgive me idk what it is) he would start an internship at the daily mirror and eventually work his way up to becoming the most high profile journalist in storybrooke. season 5 touched on the author plotline nicely tho i wish we could have gotten a little something more. season 6 came and went, and if it touched on anything, it was so minor that i don't remember it.

this is probably what makes it most painful to me that SEASON 7 of all seasons was the closest (and yet simultaneously also the furthest) from achieving this. yes, his journey through the realms is important, but arguably defining his writing ability in season 7 to a novel of what he thought was completely imagined, serves almost the same purpose as the storybook from seasons 1-6, but undermines him and does a disservice to him. the whole podcast subplot was close but because this was seattle and not storybrooke, and so it's not a one for one replacement of sidney with henry.

[sparkyblizz]

Crown Prince Kirby

okay I just like how that sounds but that came from an idea I had for a story. I was thinking of making it an original story and tweaking the premise but it was inspired by Kirby, King Dedede, and Meta Knight, so here we go.

basically, both King Dedede and Meta Knight, having been bested by Kirby, decide they both want to take him under their wing as a sort of adoptive father, but neither of them will let the other do it alone, and so they compromise by deciding to do it together. however, hijinks ensue because the Dream Land government (run by waddle dees? I guess? that's a really funny idea to me, also Dedede would still be the head of the government) has a whole host of rules and hoops to jump through that would make becoming Kirby's legal guardians hard, and one thing that would make it easier is if they were married. you know where this is going (more under the cut)

the idea is that they'd commit to the bit and get legally married just to make adoption easier but instead of being able to just the sign the paper, Kirby gets wind of their marriage plans and is like "You're not gonna have the big party? :(" and they're like "I guess we have to do it now"

also neither of them think it through enough until one of the dees has to tell King Dedede that marrying Meta Knight makes him the Prince Consort of Dream Land (or King Consort depending on how you look at it because, at least in British monarchy, the husband of the queen, the reigning monarch, is usually prince consort because king is perceived as the higher title and the reigning monarch gets the higher title, but decidedly some monarchies will call the role King Consort so. it depends on how Dedede feels about the matter I guess. maybe they can argue over Meta Knight's title)

and then later when they actually adopt Kirby once again King Dedede has to be informed that because he has no other children or relatives to speak of that would be in line for his throne, that would make his adopted son the Crown Prince of Dream Land (now once again with the British monarchy, an adopted child would not inherit the throne because it's about bloodlines but like. Dream Land is not Britain so)

also worth noting, when discussing this with a friend we came up with the hilarious idea of there being just a Bureaucrat Waddle Dee who is in charge of all the annoying paperwork (and he wears a tie or something)

anyway of course King Dedede and Meta Knight would fall in love because I love romance but. this is just an insane idea that I wanted to write out because it's so funny to me

[stvlti]

love is the knife in your hand | a Dune fanmix

I finally put all my songs for FeydPaul (derogatory) onto a playlist. This started out as a shitpost which may explain some of the wack song choices. All bangers though, promise

► TRACKS

01. Gimme What I Want - Miley Cyrus /// 02. SIMP - Full Tac, Lil Mariko & Rico Nasty /// 03. Dictator - REI AMI /// 04. I Can See You - Taylor Swift /// 05. Personal Jesus - Depeche Mode /// 06. Burn the Witch - PVRIS, Tommy Genesis & Alice Longyu Gao /// 07. House of Balloons / Glass Table Girls - The Weeknd /// 08. ecstacy - SUICIDAL-IDOL /// 09. Tennessee - Kevin Abstract & Lil Nas X /// 10. Matador - Luvcat /// 11. I Come With Knives (Acoustic) - IAMX /// 12. Bells in Santa Fe - Halsey /// 13. Blood in the Cut - K.Flay /// 14. Kiss With A Fist - Florence + The Machine /// 15. Ultraviolence - Lana Del Rey.

Tracklist last updated on 15 July.

► META

I wasn't going to add a write-up to this one – it was supposed to be an ironic playlist – but then I couldn't resist coming back to add better and better song choices to the tracklist. It deserves a short explanation now, at the very least.

The tl;dr of it is that I was inspired by this fic and this fic and this fic. The different interpretations and dynamics of Feyd/Paul's relationship shown in those fics form the cornerstones for the relationships portrayed in these songs.

Some of these dynamics may seem contradictory to each other. That is by design. Many of the songs in this playlist are meant to go both ways: depending on your interpretation of Feyd's character and your specific flavour of canon divergence (which lbr is where 90% of FeydPaul scenarios play out), you could justifiably swap the dominant / submissive voices in the song lyrics between Feyd and Paul. Take "Dictator" by REI AMI for example:

The front part of the song is dominated by, well, a dominant persona:

I am not your queen, I'm your dictator

Bend the fucking knee, yeah bitch that was an order

Whatcha say to me? Huh? Bitch speak louder

You know I reign supreme, nah, you can't imitate her

The song takes a 180° turn in the back half, switching up the beat, the tempo, the instrumentation, the cadence; going from rap verses to singing; and going from braggadocio to a vulnerable confession in its lyrics. This forms, for all intents and purposes, a second distinct "voice":

You're so mean I'm scared to say "I wanna leave"

Cause every time I try, I get a tighter leash

You never know

Everything I do when I'm feeling low

Always about you, that's the way it goes

The way it goes, just the way it goes

Cold, why you gotta treat me so cold?

You say you love me but I don't know, don't know

The original song intends for both voices to reflect 2 sides of the same speaker, which could also work in the case of Paul (the first voice being the strongman leader he presents himself as in front of his followers, but also the dom persona he takes on to exploit Feyd's vulnerabilities in the bedroom; the second voice being the insecurities he has in his feelings for Feyd, which he can admit only to himself). But these 2 voices also work well as a dialogue between Paul and Feyd: Paul as the dominant voice and Feyd as the submissive, plaintive one, in a Feyd Lives AU / any AU where Paul holds all the bargaining chips; or Feyd as the dominant voice and Paul as the submissive, confessional one, in a Feyd wins the duel / Paul is captured by the Harkonnens AU. Ymmv.

There are a few songs where it only fits a specific interpretation of the dynamic though. The more fics I read, the more I think about the political positioning either of the boys take up in canon, the more obvious it is that any way you slice it, Feyd is at a disadvantage. He doesn't have Paul's prescience or the Voice, among other Bene Gesserit training, to say nothing about his Mentat abilities. (This is excluding the AUs that assume Feyd, being another prospect for the Kwisatz Haderach bloodline, has some level of prescient abilities akin to Paul's.) This is true even before Paul consumed the Water of Life and gained full access to his ancestral memories, and once he unlocked the Other Memory, Feyd is simply no match for him. So tracks like "Matador" and "Bells in Santa Fe" work better if you think of them as speaking from Feyd's POV:

Your cape is crimson

And you're waving it, snarling

The air is full of danger

I only wanted to put on a little skirt, a little show for you

...

I came crawling in on all fours

Knocking at your door, knocking at your door

I don't wanna bleed anymore

I just wanted love, but you wanted gore

You're my matador

While Feyd is the gladiator with a number of wins in the Geidi Prime arena under his belt, Paul is named after his grandfather who fought bulls for fun. Feyd is a Harkonnen, which is etymologically related to the "härka", Finnish for the bull. When they meet each other blade for blade, Paul is the metaphorical matador to Feyd's bull, not the other way around.

I'm also a fan of simp!Feyd, which is how we ended up with Lil Mariko & Rico Nasty on the track list (lol). But on a more serious note, I like my Feyd softer and besotted with Paul, with or without the context of Paul as Emperor ordering Feyd around. In that light, it's obvious who would be the one to come crawling, begging for love from the other man.

Leaving through the door without a word

You won't even notice, little bird

Better off dead so I reckon I'm headed to hell instead

So don't wait for me, don't wait for me, wait

It's not a happy ending

...

But, Jesus, you've got better lips than Judas

I could keep your bed warm, otherwise I'm useless

I don't really mean it, 'cause who the fuck would choose this?

Self loathing hours with Feyd lmao. I don't believe Feyd is capable of shame, but he bested Rabban in currying favours with the Baron and securing the na-Baron title. He must have a mind for politicking, and in a Feyd Lives AU, he would know full well that he is only useful to Paul's empire insofar as he amuses him and keeps his bed warm. It also really only makes sense for Feyd to call Paul "little bird" and not the other way around, seeing as Paul is the one who brings the Atreides hawk symbol to their union.

Speaking of union, I went back and forth on the inclusion of the Lana Del Rey track until I remembered that she wears a wedding dress in the music video. I've never paired "Ultraviolence" with my ships, not even for my most fucked up faves, for mainly 2 reasons: (1) I don't like to romanticise the domestic abuse detailed in the original context of that lyric. I prefer a dynamic where both parties retain a degree of control and reciprocity in the fucked up shit they do to each other. But in the case of FeydPaul the pain kinks just write themselves, and they would be fully reciprocal. I can see Feyd being the masochist to Paul's more violent tendencies as much as I can see Feyd enacting his learned sadism onto Paul. They would both enjoy it. Also, as every shipper knows, in another life these two would've been betrothed to each other according to the Bene Gesserits' breeding programme.

Heaven is on earth

I will do anything for you, babe

Blessed is this union

Crying tears of gold, like lemonade

It's literally a wedding song!

(2) I never included "Ultraviolence" in my ship playlists before because the lyrics are kinda cringe. "tears of gold like lemonade"? really? But then again, FeydPaul is largely a Romeo & Juliet type of pairing - they're star-crossed, they're madly in love, and they're teenagers! They would be the type to make cringey promises to each other.