#relating to how a desire to be understood when one is fundamentally hard to understand...

[smile-files]

the idea... i'll 100% the uk localization of miracle mask. i'll screenshot everything related to henry, be that things he says, things other people say about him, or environmental details. i'll organize it into a folder on my computer. i'll formulate a comprehensive view of his character citing those screenshots for evidence, including his personality, his past, his relationships, his linguistic quirks, his values, and his role in the story. i will have the most thorough understanding of henry out of anyone on earth. i will know exactly how he works and will thus be able to deconstruct him effectively

[thebreakfastgenie]

There was a period of my life where I was fundamentally disinterested in heterosexual romance but that was because I still believed I would eventually figure out how to be interested in it in real life. Gay male romance wasn't exactly an improvement because it had none of the heterosexuality, but double the men. It was men, as much as or more than heterosexuality, that I was disinterested in. I could relate to certain themes in stories about gay men. But those never gave me what I really needed: a story about falling in love with a woman.

Most heterosexual romance, at least the kind aimed at teenage girls, is understandably written from the woman's point of view. But heterosexual fanfiction is often written by women who love the male characters and their angst. So I was reading fanfiction about falling in love with women, from the perspective of men but written by women. That gave me something stories about gay men never could. I did read lesbian romance, too, when I could find it, and admitting the romance appealed to me and I wasn't just making a point was hard.

Once I figured out I was a lesbian and really felt secure in my sexuality, I was finally able to explore heterosexual romance as something I understood I did not want. That made it interesting. Getting into the minds of people who are not like me has always been one of my favorite parts of reading. I've always struggled with men, and didn't read books with boy protagonists for a while as a kid. I think that's why sometimes heterosexual stories draw me in; they can still offer me something gay male stories can't: female leads. I still avoid romance genre and I think it's because the inserting yourself into desire part doesn't appeal to me. If I were to read a romance novel, I would want it to be a lesbian bodice-ripper.

[meatheadosis-sf]

This post on Fetlife (by MindsGarden) gave a great explanation of the mechanics of how your brain works, and how that applies to both hypnosis and conditioning: https://fetlife.com/users/5263397/posts/8328573

For those of you who aren't on there, I'm going to post a couple excerpts here - because in the jock hypno community, there's a common misunderstanding that those two are the same process. That a trance by itself, or a handful of them over several months, can brainwash you into becoming a gym rat/bodybuilder/jock/bro/bull permanently. I highly recommend reading his whole post. All of his posts, for that matter.

"The purpose of our brain is, at its most fundamental, to enable us to make better decisions about how to interact with our environment. It does this in several steps. First, through taking in sensory data and turning that raw data into our personal reality. Then, comparing that reality to our values, desires, wants, and needs in order to help us understand our experiences in relation to those tent-poles of our sense of self. Then, storing those experiences as memories so that we can use them as points of comparison when we face similar situations in the future. It does all of this with one, very simple tool - the act of connecting one thing to another. It chooses what to connect to what, and which connections to then reinforce and which to destroy once they've served their purpose. By connecting - for instance - the sight of a red-hot heating element to the memory of the pain of touching one like that in the past, our brains can keep us from making the same mistakes over and over again.

The final thing that our brain does is create and reinforce "heuristics" for us, simple rules of behavior that allow us to make decisions more quickly. These are things like "stop at the red light" or "hold the door for passerby" or "check your pockets for your keys, wallet and cell phone before leaving the house" - stuff you do without a second thought, because you've trained yourself that that's just what you do. The more often and longer we spend reinforcing these heuristics, the harder they are to break. Think of them like super-charged connections in the brain, an Express Lane from Point A to Point B, that gets you there without any of the bumps or stops or layovers (what we otherwise call "thought") that other connections require."

"When you apply hypnosis to heuristics and to the training of new pathways in the brain, to thoughtlessly follow rules, we call that "brainwashing" or "conditioning." It generally does not resemble "traditional" hypnosis because it involves lots of repetition and very few inductions. [emphasis mine] So, it will be something like, "repeat 'my body belongs to Master' as I masturbate every night before bed" and will go on for months at a time, until that act becomes habit and the habit makes that statement ring true in a person's mind. You have to be careful with this, though, because it can be hard to undo. The brain requires time and effort to break connections that themselves took time and effort to form. Make sure you know what you're doing before exploring this element of hypnokink.

A final note of caution: even traditional hypnosis with no intended element of conditioning can become a form of de facto conditioning, if you repeat the same thing often enough for long enough. If you spend every night edging and waiting to be given permission to cum, then even if you aren't specifically looking to lose your ability to cum without permission, that may well happen. Play safe, and be mindful of the ways that all this kinky fun affects you so that you don't wind up in any place that's uncomfortable or injurious for you."

I think I understood this on some level before I read it here, but I like finding new files and I used to tend to listen a few times and then move to the latest shiny file. From what I read and hear, a lot of us do. I think there are two main reasons people get fed up with hypnosis:

1) unrealistic expectations of what actual trances can feel like, leading to the belief you weren't hypnotized and, often, the belief that the hypnotist was no good.

2) listening to a file maybe half a dozen times, or trancing with a particular hypnotist even fewer, before moving on (often ghosting them, which is a dick move and contributes to there being fewer tists out there).

I've known for a long time now that I "need" to find a muscle oriented hypnotist who's willing and able to commit to frequent, regular sessions. Ideally one who can supplement the conditioning with files I enjoy, to reinforce the conditioning, but frequent regular trances is the only crucial factor. There's a hundred reasons I haven't, and don't really expect to (now that I've stopped enjoying D/s play, at least - GreyMuscleBear was great when I was into D/s). I'm going to try to find one very most favorite file, meanwhile, and focus on repetition with that. I pretty much already do that with my favorite four or five... Actually, now that I think about it, no one file can cover everything I want from them, so maybe I'll just focus on those and stop branching out any further.

[bestworstcase]

it’s feeling gutted about how wasted zhan tiri’s character was hours. like tts really pulled together a few esoteric bits of lore, an evil tree, and some quirky villain of the week disciples and then hired a phenomenal voice actress all so they could… use this character like a cattle prod to make cass do the evil thing. and then killed her off in the most anticlimactic way possible at the end and never elaborated on any of her lore. like. holy missed opportunity batman.

and it’s hard to dissect without discussing cassandra’s arc too, because zhan tiri and cassandra are so intertwined in season three, but even in this regard there feels like so much potential wasted because both of them are so vacuous in season three that they can’t even properly be discussed as foils; they’re just there, making the plot happen more or less by authorial fiat.

and… tts has always had an issue with needing to position rapunzel at the epicenter of everything, to the detriment of other character arcs and also the plot. but it is breathtaking to me that zhan tiri was given such a vital role in the plot without a single drop of character development to go with it, for the sake of her not pulling oxygen from the cass/raps friendship?

fuck THAT.

i’m coming at this from the perspective of someone who was inordinately keen on zhan tiri as a concept from the minute i watched QFAD, and someone who spun a whole character out of her appearances in s1-2 before s3 even started airing and will always prefer my version over canon’s. i’m deeply biased here. but it seems to me that the logical, the obvious thing to do with this character whose sole narrative purpose is to facilitate cassandra taking the moonstone, is to MAKE HER A FOIL TO CASSANDRA.

and it baffles me that tts did not do that. i think perhaps the intention was for them to be understood as foils, but that only works in OAH and even then, only in the most shallow way because it’s all built on the question of whether cass is a villain or not… which is a moral question, only tangentially related to characterization.

but this isn’t really a post about how tts failed zhan tiri as a character so much as it is mulling over bitter snow and like…why zhan tiri is the way she is, because frankly i did not give a lot of thought to who zhan tiri was as a person (“person”) before i started writing og bitter snow—she was very much an intuitive “this feels correct” creature of my imagination—and now that i’m in the thick of the revamp and writing an actual serious story in which she is a significant player i’m trying to… clarify the why of these writing choices for myself.

and it’s about cassandra. at the end of the day that’s really all it is; zhan tiri as i impulsively characterized her is cassandra’s narrative foil. lmao

cass is a character who desperately wants things but cannot articulate her true goal, because she doesn’t know what it is. she is so full of ambition and anger and despair because she has this tremendous unnamed desire that she cannot give voice to and cannot fulfill, and all she knows for sure is she doesn’t have it yet, and the longer she waits for it and the harder she tries to reach it the more she seems to lose. she wants to be a guard. she wants her dad to trust her. she wants to keep rapunzel safe. she wants rapunzel to trust her. she wants…what?

and then she meets zhan tiri in the house of yesterdays tomorrow, and she learns something terrible, and she cuts herself off from rapunzel and takes the moonstone for herself. and then…what?

cassandra’s journey as a character is (or should have been) about unraveling this great internal mystery, about FIGURING OUT what this lack is and how to fill it.

and that is why bitter snow zhan tiri is, fundamentally, hunger. she IS want. she IS desire. she is an insatiable craving that can never be met. she knows precisely what she wants—satisfaction—but that is impossible for her to achieve and she knows that too… but she can’t escape her nature. she can’t stop wanting. she can’t stop taking. but she is so, so old and she has lived and grown and changed herself so much and she’s tired.

so she meets cassandra and feels this kinship. they both are driven by this terrible, implacable urge for something that they can’t reach, and they have both been vicious, selfish, irrational, short-sighted, and self-destructive in pursuit of what they want. zhan tiri can empathize, perhaps more than any other character in the cast, with how excruciatingly painful it is for cass to have this empty feeling she can’t describe and can’t fill, because in a sense that pain IS zhan tiri. or zhan tiri IS that pain.

but cass is also human and she has the potential for relief in a way that zhan tiri does not. and… i think there is at once a compassion and a resentment that grows from this, for cass and for any mortal zhan tiri has gotten attached to over the years. she doesn’t want cass to suffer but she also covets her relief.

and cassandra in turn gets caught up in compassion for this ancient being who is at once so alien and so familiar, and like. i think one of the key reasons s3 was ultimately so unsatisfying is that cassandra never had any…bond with zhan tiri. because in my head there was already this whole vast complicated relationship built on cass and zhan tiri identifying so intensely with each other and cass wanting to understand and coming to see her as not just an advisor or confidante but as a *friend* and someone she wanted to *help* and yet them also being so different in such a small but vital way and the tension that created—and s3 gave me NONE of that. i loved it in OAH when zhan tiri did the “we’re not so different, you and i��� but i loved it because it spoke to the character *i* made, the relationship *i* developed, not the one that actually played out on screen where cass didn’t even know zhan tiri’s name.

(and this is not even GETTING INTO how if you want to lean into the s3 zhan tiri backstory tidbits even more you could go absolutely nuts with the ziti+demanitus / cassandra+rapunzel parallels because W H O O F)

[dontforgetthedragon]

i wanna talk about hanazawa teruki

(preface: written before the eric trump thing)

yes this is a weird time to be talking about mp100 i know but i was rewatching the anime recently and its only starting to occur to me just how bad i feel for this boy

like, i feel that the first time i watched mp100 my impression of teru was just feral wildchild who speedruns his redemption arc and also has the worst fashion sense but, like, there’s a lot more complexity to our boy teru than that

and its not really until s1 ep11 that it really clicked that the root of a lot of teru’s actions is that he is a child who has been fundamentally failed by the adults in his life

we dont know an awful lot about teru’s parents, other than the fact that he doesnt live with them and, from the manga, we learn they are almost always away on business trips. ekubo theorises that the reason for this is that he has had to hide from claw over and over, so it’s possible he distanced himself from them for their safety. but regardless of the exact details, the fact is they were clearly unable to protect him from the threats in his life. those were things he had to deal with on his own

when we the viewers first encounter hanazawa teruki, shadow leader of black vinegar middle school, it is when he is sent for as a last resort and as the school’s secret unbeatable weapon. he is the one everyone else is relying on, while he relies on no-one but himself. no wonder he developed such an inflated sense of his own importance and power!!! no wonder he thinks hes untouchable!!! when has anyone in his life ever been able to do a better job at anything than him??? he can use his powers to solve all the obstacles in his life - cheat at tests, do well in sports, get popular, win fights - when other people have problems, they come to him

when he has problems, he cant really go to anyone - not even his flakey parents. because if he cant deal with them, whats the likelihood anyone else can? he has to solve it all himself - but at the point we first meet him, he’s always been able to. so whats the big deal, right?

but thats a precarious place to stand

teru doesnt get to learn and fail and make mistakes like a child should. he doesnt have that safety net. his entire approach to life thus far relies on him always succeeding, so he needs to already be the best. success has to be a given because it is this belief that makes up the very foundations of his world, that makes him feel safe and stable. so his reaction to discovering shigeo’s existance is about more than just threatened pride, its about threatened stability as well. because if shigeo is stronger than him, then that means people can be stronger than him, that any mundane-looking person could be. that his ability to thrive by himself is not guaranteed

what happens to him then? he doesnt have anyone to fall back on

(its important to stress that feeling safe and secure is more important to him than being safe and secure. the extremity of his reaction speaks more to a maladaptive psycological response than something actually helpful)

and then he is beaten. soundly. and he has to accept that

it puzzled me in my first watch-though how quickly teru goes from extreme aggression towards and nearly strangling mob to genuine friendliness and even affection. but with this understanding it makes perfect sense

we see from teru’s attempts to speak to claw members that on the surface he has absorbed and understood shigeo’s words. no-one is more important than anyone else. seeing yourself as the main character of the world or as inherently more deserving because of psychic powers is a huge mistake. but your subconcious feelings and beliefs are harder to change and by the end of ep 11 it becomes clear that, for teru, these have simply shifted from i am the most important and powerful character in the world and i cannot be beaten to kageyama-kun is the most important and powerful character in the world and he cannot be beaten. which isnt much better

once he accepts his defeat and relative irrelevance, letting go of his pride, it must have been a relief for teru to know an esper more powerful than him. especially one like shigeo, who showed such a stubborn desire for friendliness and civil relations toward him, even in the face of teru’s open aggression. finally, teru has someone he can turn to for help. someone he can rely on when things get too tough to handle himself. someone else to hand that responsibility to

he goes after claw because he feels that with mob on his side he stands a fighting chance. when ritsu and teru both admit their powers arent enough, its shigeo they turn to. when the group are being attacked by multiple scars at once, teru is the voice opposing reigen, screaming out in desperation - while fending off attacks with increasing futility - that mob needs to do something, that he’s the only one with the power to defeat them

the issue is, thats not fair on shigeo

teruki’s unstable and neglectful upbringing has left him with a warped sense of the kind of responsibility a middle schooler should hold. the idea of turning to an adult for help, or even giving an adult’s words any weight, is completely foreign to him at this point because, in his experience, age has little bearing on power or even effective authority. he’s had to make his own way through life without adults to rely on, so he genuinely doesnt understand the issue with putting this burden on shigeo’s shoulders. they need to defeat the scars attacking them, and kageyama-kun is the one with the power to do it. ergo, kageyama needs to use his power to defeat the scars. whats so wrong about that?

teru isnt really a sad character; he’s very practical about his situation and we never see him wallow in bitterness at these injustices. but im also not sure he actually realises how much childhood growth and development space he’s been robbed of, and that makes it hard for him to face his own failings

[mfkinanaa]

SUN IN PISCES.

Pisces: Mutable Water       

Ruler: Jupiter

Keywords: Service, Sacrifice, Compassion, Mysticism

Functional Expression: Empathy, intuition, sensitivity, service, imaginative, extremely creative, devotional

Dysfunctional Expression: Ungrounded, victim, suffering through sacrifice, addictive, critical, afraid, lost.

Transcending Limits.

With the Sun in Pisces, a sense of self come from being “in the world”, and yet not “of the world”. Pisceans tend to be motivated by the desire to connect to realities greater than the ‘here and now”. They need to live the truth that there is more to life than meets the eye.

Whilst this may seem an abstract statement, Pisceans inhabit dimensions of reality that transcends the every day. Pisces, as the final and perhaps least understood sign of the Zodiac, represents many mysteries. It governs those facets of experience that go beyond the purely physical.

Those with the Sun in Pisces are often highly imaginative, sensitive and impressionable people. They sometimes struggle with the fundamental duality in their nature. It could be said that one half of them is attempting to chart a realistic course through life whilst the other half is seeking ways to escape it.

Pisces is a Mutable Water sign. This brings together themes of flux, sensitivity and imagination. As mentioned, this is a sign of duality. The challenge with the Sun in Pisces is developing a clear sense of purpose when there is a fundamental urge to transcend the limitations of material form.

This struggle is symbolically depicted by the two complementary yet opposing fish that represents this sign. One Fish could be described as having a firm focus on the world around. On this level, Pisceans come across as street smart or “world-wary”, with a sense that nothing anyone does would surprise them.

As the final sign of the Zodiac, Pisces has integrated every facet of self-expression, and so carries within its symbolism the sum total of human experience. Whilst they may not agree with a particular behaviour usually at some level they can understand.

Their empathy and compassion means they sense where others are coming from, and so can relate on a certain level. This awareness gives Pisceans the ability to deal with any situation, and they do well in any area which involves understanding others. They may not like what they see, but their ability to respond to what is in front of them means they can appear to be both experienced and open.

Yet on the other hand, the second Fish seeks to transcend the mundane. This part of them is not connected to everyday experience. As much as they may appear to be present and connected, they can also feel as if they are swimming away – typically to more pleasant seas.

Sometimes may drift off into dimensions they are not even aware themselves. The need to transcend the everyday is just as important as the need to engage with the here and now. And so, within this complex dilemma, those with the Sun in Pisces develop a sense of self-experiencing a constant state of flux between emotional, psychological and spiritual expressions of self.

Their challenge is to allow both aspects of self to exist side by side, and so find optimal ways of channeling these qualities into everyday life.

A Multi-dimensional Experience.

To achieve this synthesis, there are usually three key dimensions of experience that feature for them.

For many with the Sun in Pisces, the theme of transcendence will express through a sense of compassion. By connecting with the emotional fields of others they ‘escape’ their own limited space. Merging energies allows them to feel expanded and useful.

For others, they will experience transcendence through their creative or imaginal lives. There is often a strong affinity with abstract forms of creativity. Taking time out to explore the imagination is time well spent.

Thirdly, the domain of spirituality and devotion may feature, and for some Pisceans transcending the everyday means exploring metaphysical realms.

As is the nature of this sign, Pisces can operate on all three levels from time to time, and sometimes all at once! It is normal for those with the Sun in Pisces to be in multiple dimensions at any given moment of the day. In whatever way it suits, they need to find a way to channel their sensitivities and move beyond a limited identification with only the here and now.

Intuitive Insight.

Pisceans are typically gifted with incredible insight. Their intuition will reveal much about people and circumstances, when they are willing to see things clearly.

Pisceans can be almost prophetic at times. Yet to achieve this level of clarity they must exercise constant self-awareness and discipline. They have the ability to be one step ahead at every turn, always pre-empting what others need and how they will respond. Thus they can succeed at almost anything.

Yet just as easily, they can become confused by the bombardment of impressions influencing them. They may have trouble discerning between what is outside themselves, versus what is rising up within. Sometimes the “feelings” they have about others will be birthed in their own imagination, or in through their desire to escape from what they deep down know.

Sun in Pisces can have a tendency to ‘put on rose-coloured glasses’ – so seeing the world or others in an idealised form. They can see merits that do not exist in an effort to make a situation special, unique or romantic somehow.

The desire to transcend the ordinary (not face reality) sometimes means they give others the benefit of the doubt when they should not. Their inability to discern between intuition and desire means they can become easily confused. When this happens, they can find themselves enmeshed in situations where their good nature is taken advantage of.

Then they must learn to reestablish boundaries, becoming clear about when – and to whom – they should say no.

Suffering and Sacrifice.

Pisces is connected with states of victim consciousness. The Sun in Pisces individual needs to constantly monitor when they might be allowing themselves to fall victim to some external influence as a way of opting out.

Being the victim is a way of giving in to a sense of not being able to cope with life. They may carry an inner need to be taken care of – which is in fact a way of escaping from discipline or hard work.

Pisces is known as the sign of least resistance and sometimes Pisces will seek the easy way out. They become victim to some kind of habit or circumstance that ends up ‘validating’ their belief that they need to be rescued.

Should they believe is that life is hard, cruel or dangerous, then the only apparent route open to them is escape, either into some kind of addictive habit (drugs, alcohol, romance), or into victimhood.

A special mention must be made here of addiction, for this is one of Pisces preferred means of escape. Under the apparent haze of a habit they ‘cant control’ Pisces can avoid taking responsibility for themselves. The temptation to lose oneself in the haze of addiction can have a glamorous appeal with disastrous consequences.

Another habit that can take over their lives is the need to be in control. Sometimes sensitivity and paranoia combine to create obsessive behavioural patterns that are just as difficult to break.

In an urge to stem the tide of constant change that flows through their lives some with the Sun in Pisces develop OCD qualities. The need to clean their house obsessively is one such manifestation of the urge to maintain control.

When they become depleted by exposure to others or simply to negative influences they can become become overwhelmed by emotions which blocks the ability to maintain a clear sense of self.

Paranoia and phobias can start to take hold. They find themselves reacting to an impending sense of chaos by trying to adopt rigourous forms of control. To stem the tide of flux they develop personal rituals that are meant to somehow “protect them” from change. Then their sensitivities confuse them and they can retreat into a world of obsessive ritual.

Being so sensitive has its challenges. Learning to “be in the world, but not of the world” takes both time and self-awareness.

Creativity and Imagination.

At the creative and imaginal level, Pisces tends to have an easier time. Here, they are in their element, swimming through vivid waters of fantasy and imagination.

Many Pisceans have strong creative leanings, and need to find an outlet for their inspirations. In many ways, this is about finding a means to express all the impressions they constantly feel. Anything with a strong visual and emotional component is a natural vehicle for the Piscean imagination. Certain abstract art forms have an especially Piscean tone, including film, photography, dance, drama, music and fluid forms of painting.

It is highly therapeutic for Pisceans to spend time in creative pursuits, either through their own creative projects or simply immersing themselves in some one else creative work. Through imagination they find ways to leave the everyday and stay self-contained.

Time alone is vital for their well-being, and experiencing creativity is an excellent means of having time out. Daydreaming or connecting with the imagination is like an internal reboot. When they imagine they find food for the soul. It is important for Pisces to withdraw into themselves in order to connect. Time spent alone, in nature, or by the water is a powerful tool for self-development.

Acts of Service.

Another level of expression can come about through finding ways to be of service. Pisceans are often gifted with compassion and have a strong urge to be of service to others somehow. Here they bring special gifts.

Because they so easily empathise, they know instinctively what others need to hear. Because they can at some level comprehend all facets of human experience, they do not tend to judge. Instead they can offer unconditional service based on pure acceptance.

Many with the Sun in Pisces feel a calling to be of service that should not be ignored. They can do this in their everyday lives through helping those less fortunate, in their professional lives by pursuing careers that allow they to help, serve or heal, or through volunteering extra time and service to community groups.

As ever though, they need to be on guard against tendencies to give the self away. Many Pisceans seem to have an inner conviction that in order to be of service, they must also suffer in some way. This is part of a potent cultural belief structure which suggests it is in fact noble to suffer in the act of service – a hangover from 2000 years of misinterpreted Christian theology.

The willingness to sacrifice is a highly commendable virtue, but the idea that they need to be suffering if they are to be of true service is slightly displaced. Pisceans can be more effective, and inspiring to others, if they simultaneously demonstrate self-care.

Their task is to embody the example of radiant well-being they wish to manifest in others lives. Their compassionate nature means that there is no question where their allegiance lies. They give for the sake of giving and usually do not seek anything in return. But it is important Sun in Pisces do not give themselves away in the process, and should watch out for the temptation to seek escape by becoming overwhelmed.

Spiritual Development.

Finally, Pisces is a highly mystical and psychic sign, and these abilities can also spill over into powerful healing or clairvoyant abilities. A deep sense of devotion and heightened spirituality is often present, so that service is offered not only to the individual or group but also to the Divine.

Many Pisceans experience a very personal relationship to the spiritual dimension of life. They may not be conventionally religious, but will have their own personal set of rituals or beliefs that express a broad relationship to the Divine.

There may be private things they do on their own time which express a deep spiritual connection. Some Pisceans can also become a vehicle for spiritual illumination, and access transpersonal dimensions of experience to acquire specific information.

History is replete with mysterious situations where ‘knowledge’ brought through from non-material planes has lead to outstanding developments. Medical insights birthed in the ancient world, architectural triumphs which remain unexplained or experiences of past-lives and other dimensions are all examples of knowledge systems which transcend the everyday.

Pisceans tend to specialize in this kind of insight, having access to intuitive wisdom that is commonly termed ‘psychic’. They may have precognition of the future or meaningful dreams which explain the situations in unknown ways. Recognizing and developing these latent sensitivities is an important part of the Piscean experience. Time spent in meditation or developing the “sixth sense” is important.

In the end, grounding these psychic abilities may prove to be the most significant way to transcend the everyday.

Sun in Pisces: Your Solar Journey.

Born with the Sun in Pisces, your journey involves learning how to be in the world but not of it. You have powerful and mysterious gifts of sensitivity, insight, imagination and creativity. Used wisely, these talents will allow you to be of service, both to yourself in achieving what you want in life and also to others. Your challenge is to find ways of bringing your multi-dimensional, sensitive self into harmony with the material world by becoming clear on what you feel and maintaining appropriate boundaries. When you hold your space and see things clearly, you can become a self-contained source of love, inspiration, and practical wisdom for all the world to share. As you learn to take care of your own sensitivity, you nurture your imaginative and spiritual gifts. You can excel in any field that requires human understanding, whilst your deep sense of compassion will let you find outlets which allow you to serve, help and heal.

[morsking]

i was told to come here for fate zero kotomine kirei questions? i was thinking about kirei in f/z and realized i don't think i actually completely understood his arc and specifically how it relates to his spirituality/belief in God? can you explain to me what happened to this strange knife-throwing man

i’d be VERY happy to, i love talking about kirei even if i don’t do it very often.

this is something that becomes a little more clear later on in heaven’s feel but the gist of it is that kirei has an inexplicably sadistic nature he does not understand where it comes from or why he has it. for the majority of fate/zero’s first part, he doesn’t even know it exists until gilgamesh slowly draws it out of him by making him deconstruct his own thought process and personal beliefs.

kirei was raised catholic and had a priest for a father, so kirei had catholic teachings of altruism and asceticism hammered into his young brain on top of risei’s, his father’s, expectations and desires for kirei to be “pure and beautiful”, just like kirei’s name suggests. 

kirei, however, secretly felt repressed by those teachings and expectations since forsaking personal happiness and helping others never brought him any joy, and because he never felt any joy in helping others, he reasoned that joy and pleasure were sinful indulgences that a believer, much less a priest, should never partake in. he therefore internalized displeasure and complete emotional detachment as a natural and righteous state of life. this, coupled with the catholic belief that selflessness in life would mean salvation in death, resulted in kirei becoming far too guilty to ever chase after pleasure because doing so would mean betraying not just the faith in his Lord, but also all the hard work and love his father had put into raising him as a pure and beautiful person. kirei respected his father’s ideal and tried his best to live up to it, but fundamentally could not understand it, and he could not love the man it belonged to. in response to these emotions, kirei resorted to grievous and deadly methods of self-harm to keep himself walking the righteous path.

nevertheless, kirei could not contain his curiosity (and unbeknownst to him, his yearning) for pleasure and travelled the world attempting to find meaning and enjoyment in different activities. he graduated top of his class, skipped grades as an exceptional student, worked diligently as an executor, and even ate some of the most exquisite delicacies known to man... and found them all tasteless and unfulfilling. kirei was a truly hopeless individual with no direction or sense of self and personhood. he had failed to find meaning in basic, and even some luxurious, delights every human being desires to experience.

in a desperate, final gambit to connect with the inner humanity he lacked his entire life, kirei attempted to fall in love with a woman called claudia ortensia. claudia was terminally ill, and was not expected to live for much longer. while she did love him, he could not bring himself to reciprocate despite his best efforts. they were together for two years and had a child, caren, out of wedlock. throughout his time with claudia kirei could only find salvation in claudia’s suffering. but claudia, an incorregible saint, was willing to suffer if it meant bringing him joy and salvation. claudia slowly died, and soon enough her time was at hand. kirei believed that as her husband it was his duty to at least say his farewells on her deathbed. as claudia lay dying, kirei relayed the simple fact to claudia that after all their time together, he did not love her. to prove him wrong and save him, she disconnected her life support machine. kirei cried at the sight of wife selflessly dying to save him, and claudia, with her fading strength, told him that those tears were proof that he did love her, and that love is proof of his humanity. 

unbeknownst to either of them, the true reason kirei cried was because he didn’t get to kill her himself.

kirei handed over his child to the church. if marriage did not save him, parenthood wouldn’t either. kirei contemplated suicide, but instead opted to return to his teachings and live as an executor, craving even the most artificial of purpose to justify his existence. 

we then reach fate/zero. kirei is at his lowest emotional point, and sensing the pit in his soul yearning for purpose, the grail bestows him with command spells. kotomine risei contacts his ally tohsaka tokiomi, and takes kirei under his wing as an apprentice in magecraft. 

kirei is a natural prodigy at magecraft, and is able to almost master every single discipline before abandoning it in frustration at his failure to find fulfillment and joy in it. (interestingly enough, he has a particularly high affinity for spiritual healing and surgery.) while kirei intends to follow tokiomi and risei’s orders to crown tokiomi as the victor of the grail war, he secretly begrudges being a bored pawn with no freedom and bears no actual loyalty to either of them.

in the world’s most bizarre boy-meets-girl scenario in the history of anime, kotomine kirei learns of emiya kiritsugu. kiritsugu is a mercenary employed by the einzberns to participate in the holy grail war. he has fought in countless battlefields, only joining the fight when combat is at its fiercest. he has killed scores upon scores of mages who deviate from the clocktower’s rules, and has been reported to have taken extreme measures in his assassinations such as bringing down an entire commercial airline just because his target was in it. kirei is mystified by kiritsugu’s lack of moral restraint, personhood, and regard for his own life. kirei immediately projects his own lack of self into kiritsugu and is desperate to understand him. he vows to meet kiritsugu in battle to finally grasp the answer to the question that is his existence.

as he attempts to meet kiritsugu throughout the story, kirei is approached by gilgamesh, the world’s most ancient hedonist. gilgamesh senses that kirei is repressing a fundamental part of himself, and that’s the true source of kirei’s unhappiness. gilgamesh attempts to make kirei realize that kirei has never lacked anything, he’s just tried to avert his gaze from the truth of his own nature. gilgamesh tells kirei that pleasure and joy aren’t things that are inherently sinful. human beings instinctively seek pleasure as and end in and of itself, and kirei is no different. because pleasure is a natural human drive, it can never be something unforgivable. to drive his point further, gilgamesh asks kirei that if he can’t see himself winning, then he should try to imagine a scenario where the war’s weakest combatant, matou kariya, does. 

kirei does try, but before he can tell kirei what he envisions, gilgamesh stops him. gilgamesh reveals that there was no point to engaging in speculation when kirei asks if there was one, but the fact kirei did anyway shows he found a meaningless notion entertaining, and therefore, fulfilling. this comes to a head when kirei decides to heal kariya’s burn wounds after his confrontation with tokiomi. kirei experiences a rush he’s never felt before. he hasn’t just helped kariya stay in the race for the grail out of his own volition, he has done it against his master’s orders and best interests. 

when risei is killed by kayneth, kirei finds his grief to be oddly forced and empty. surely, he must be devastated at the death of his father, the man who loved him, raised him, taught him, and made him who he is today. but strangely, his grief seems to be directed at something else. that’s when gilgamesh appears to him and tells him the reason why he’s sad isn’t that his father died, but that kirei didn’t get to kill him himself. this shocks kirei to his core, but he’s also forced to entertain that notion. once he realizes that gilgamesh IS right about what kirei really wanted out of his father, he’s ordered by tokiomi to leave japan and exit the war as demanded by irisviel if an alliance between the tohsakas and the einzberns against the matous is to take place. kirei secretly meets with gilgamesh, who is bored and frustrated with tokiomi, and they agree to partner up and kill tokiomi. kirei realizes that there was a satisfaction in killing tokiomi and having the last thing he ever saw be kirei betraying him and asserting his personal desire over his obligation to his teacher. 

kirei, now fully committed to discovering what he yearns for the most, tells kariya he will allow him to duel tokiomi once more in exchange for bringing him the container of the holy grail and the person closest to kiritsugu: irisviel. unbeknownst to kariya, tokiomi’s wife aoi has been summoned to the church by kirei. kariya finds tokiomi already dead, and aoi walks into kariya holding tokiomi’s corpse. aoi believes kariya has killed tokiomi, and angrily accuses kariya of never having loved anyone. kariya reaches the breaking point of his rage and suffering after being rejected by aoi, the person he was enduring torture and humiliation for, and asphyxiates her in madness. realizing what he’s done, kariya runs away from the church wailing in grief and guilt. kirei and gilgamesh had watched the whole affair, and kirei realizes that what he finds meaning and pleasure in is inflicting suffering upon others and watch them collapse under the crosses struggles they carry. while he does not understand why he is this way, he nevertheless wants to find out to feel complete and intends to use the grail for that purpose.

kirei meets with irisviel, and demands answers for his questions about emiya kiritsugu. irisviel reveals kiritsugu is not the heartless killing machine kirei believed him to be, but fundamentally an altruist who wishes to shower the world in peace and blessings and seeks the grail for that purpose. she condescends kirei by telling him kiritsugu is not like him, he is far better and that’s why kiritsugu will not lose. finally understanding the man whose nature has eluded him and finding where kirei’s karma stands in relation to him, kirei kills irisviel and vows to destroy kiritsugu’s dream with his own hands. 

when kiritsugu and kirei fight and the grail interferes by crowning kiritsugu the winner rather than reach a stalemate, kirei watches kiritsugu speaking with angra mainyu. he observes kiritsugu realizing that what he wanted all along was to live peacefully with his family even if it meant forsaking the world to a violent extinction. he is baffled at kiritsugu rejecting the cursed genocidal grail, and demands kiritsugu to hand it over if he doesn’t want it, because kirei has the need to find the defining principle of his own existence. after kiritsugu kills kirei and has saber destroy the grail, the curses that spill out of it engulf kirei’s corpse and resuscitate him. angra mainyu has declared kirei as the winner for the sake of using him as an anchor and a midwife for his eventual birth. 

upon seeing angra mainyu’s catastrophe, kirei concludes that the calamity he is standing over is what his heart has yearned for all this time. he laughs in shock, irony, and glee that despite kotomine risei’s righteous nature and teachings, kirei is simply a monstrous and heretical cur who thrives in the agony of mankind. when gilgamesh asks if the sight of angra mainyu’s birth has satisfied him, kirei replies that it doesn’t, because kirei has been shown the end result of his desire rather than the actual philosophical principle and logical process that guides to the outcome. so for the next 10 years, kirei wrestles with the fact that he still cannot abandon his teachings and his obligation to be somewhat helpful as a priest for the desire to reject and challenge god and allow angra mainyu to fully manifest in this world and engulf it completely to finally give his existence meaning and validity because he knows his impulses to be wrong and yet needs to know why he has them and whether he is still worthy of living while having them. he is willing to manipulate and kill and betray and curse and deprive and destroy the world just for that chance at redeeming his existence because not understanding himself and having denied himself joy for so long has utterly broken him as a person and this is all he has left after a lifetime of denying himself happiness, empathy, and understanding to work through his feelings. to bless angra mainyu’s birth as a man of the cloth would reconcile his religious principles and belief in a merciful all-loving god with his yearning to accept and comprehend himself, because if angra mainyu can be allowed to live and prosper in this world while being the unforgivable culmination of all sin, then maybe he can too. (this is also a powerful and intimate parallel to both shirou and sakura that deserves its own post that i may or may not write later.)

that’s pretty much his development throughout zero and his defining character struggle in fate/stay night. this is something that spring song will delve into further and it’s actually quite interesting how such a bastard of a man suddenly becomes so sympathetic towards the end of the entire game. 

grace if you ever have time for it i heavily encourage you to read through the heaven’s feel route whether through letsplayarchive or by playing realta nua yourself whilst we wait for a spring song release in the west because your perception of everyone will change drastically as you understand them at a much deeper level the movies could not show because of runtime constraints. i hope this explanation wasn’t too long or convoluted or raised more questions than delivered answers. three good friends of mine, thessaliah, kurozu501, and avicebro here on tumblr can probably elaborate further and offer more insight if you’re interested. 

[amisssunbeam]

A Little Response to Rhavewellyarnbag's latest Review of The Terror's "Horrible from Supper" (the italics are me)

Being another look at The Terror, episode 01x07, “Horrible From Supper”. But first, the characters in The Terror to whom I own an apology for the things I said last night when I was drunk, in ascending order of how vile it was: Francis. Yes, what I said was true, but I should not have said it. Goodsir, on general principle, because he is a nice man, and doesn��t deserve to have the likes of me talking about him that way. Author’s note: Only daily do I apologize to Harry Goodsir (fictional) for the things I say about him, and to Harry Goodsir (nonfictional) for the things I say about a fictionalized version of him. I like to think that the former would forgive me, but I think that the latter might not. I painted him from the few photos made of him; he has a delightfully reproachful look. Resting bitch face, even.

In the 1845 photos, his eyebrows come together in a way which could be interpreted as judgmental.  But, when we think of the trials of sitting for a daguerreotype at that time (not nearly as jolly and pain-free as depicted in “The Ladder” –forgetting about the subsequent Tuunbaq attack) Goodsir’s reproachful look might merely result from the tedium of having his picture taken (or that fatal tooth was beginning to hurt). Tozer. Though, again, I meant it, and, like, look, I defy you tell me that he doesn’t look absolutely stunning when he’s afraid for his life in “Terror Camp Clear”. 

“The Terror” certainly broadens the parameters of handsome-ness.  Tozer, while listening to Morfin singing “The Silver Swan”, is more attractive than, than, than the Moon!  Or the Pyramids!  He’s supernatural.

The ship before it weighs anchor, before it, in some fundamental way, becomes a ship. Not yet having fulfilled its function, it is more like a theatrical set. The notion of limbo is a fitting one: the men descending the ladder, coming from the bright, noisy world above, could be entering the afterlife.

Who’s the cat who does the words about utter existentialism?  Rod Serling, was that his name?  Did everyone see his episode of “The Twilight Zone” about the toys in the Salvation Army barrel?  Yikes.

Nothing is working as it should, logic is suspended, and the topsy-turvy world of the carnival will become real.

The movie “Topsy-Turvy” is a great favorite of la famille Sunbeam.  Even so, there are useful parallels between that film and “The Terror”: class clashes, pretense and pageantry, and mainly ripping away the fine lace mask of the Victorian era.  The attitude of the servants in both shows is strikingly craven.

“Any tips, sir, for a first-timer?”

In the super-heated world of fandom, “any tips for a first-timer” sounds like the sort of pick-up line EC would use on the true Cornelius.

Poor Morfin.

Morfin is “The Terror’s” equivalent of the Victorian Little Nell.  Headaches, bad teeth, song-forgetter, probably a once-in-a-lifetime sodomite but nevertheless flogged for it.  When he and Tozer go out on that exploratory mission, he falls flat down and Tozer says something like “Don’t volunteer if you don’t have the bottom for it.”  (More heat for the fandom).  And he gets to be the first to see the severed heads. (Who thought Tozer and Morfin would make a good team for this task? Did they draw names?)  “Gently with that one, please.” It’s a little bit insensitive of Goodsir to express concern for his luggage before he does, Morfin, after Morfin’s just collapsed from pain, only looking like the living dead. That trunk, though, is Jacko’s tomb.

Harvey, your theory about Goodsir’s, ah, class-related selfishness is confirmed here.

“Are these our choices, Cornelius, or are they being made for us?” Gibson seems to falter, which is interesting. His idea to separate from the larger group doesn’t seem to be his own, which suggests that Hickey understood that it couldn’t be seen to have come from him. Gibson looks like death warmed over, but Hickey is just as perky as ever.

Gibson seems to get on-and-off injections of great intelligence, but his death-warmed-over look is consistent through the series.

 Hickey is also under-dressed, not even wearing a hat.

This is perhaps a very English-major thing to say, but there is a suggestion of a climate change (or a massive change in consciousness) occurring after Carnivale, as if the trauma of the fire left living dead who can no longer feel the cold, or, having felt so much fire, the survivors have had the idea of cold burnt out of them.

He does sometimes dress more appropriately, as in “A Mercy” when he was helping Hartnell transport supplies for the carnival. Suggesting that, in this scene, Hickey means to maximize his attractions. The obvious beneficiary is Gibson, but I think Hickey sees some value in displaying himself for Tozer, the one Hickey is really after, and has been since at least “Punished As A Boy”.

A sexy thought; how much nudity the men would crave.  When Hickey is flogged, he is completely exposed to the men present, and I think the sexuality of his having his pants pulled down really hits the sailors hard.  Francis alone looks like he’s going to climb out of his skin with the ferocity of his feelings (I won’t say desire, but that’s what I mean). Was it you, Harvey, or someone else who discussed how strong the thirst for touch must be among the Franklin Expedition?  I imagine the thirst to see bodies is just as powerful.

Then, I was immediately resurrected by the peek at Collins’ suspenders. He is... built like a cement outdoor commode. There is a lot of Collins to love.

The suspenders become iconic.  Collins is one very alluring sailor, even in his bulky sea-diving outfit with that great furry head sticking out.  Yet his sexuality seems neutered, compared to the other significant sailors  (Still, if Hollywood decided to make a chubby “Wuthering Heights”, Collins would make the perfect pudgy Heathcliff.) Author’s note: I don’t think Francis thinks very much of Goodsir, and the feeling is mutual. Goodsir has to obey Francis, but it’s duty without devotion, without deference, Goodsir having seen very little that would indicate to him that Francis has reformed himself. Francis may have stopped drinking, but he’s up to his old tricks, dismissive unless he wants something, ingratiating when he does. This is the way that Francis behaved toward Hickey, which gives an interesting contrast between Goodsir and Hickey: once Goodsir understands Francis’ motives, he’s no longer taken in; Hickey must understand that Francis was only drunk and trying to get into Hickey’s pants, but Hickey continues to try to make Francis like him.

Francis might resent Goodsir’s place in society, so settled and unique, while Francis himself has to maneuver around Sir John and James and all the rest.  But Hickey he can control.  (In a way, it’s a shame that Irving, the stupid old king of coitus interruptus, has to bust in again.  It would be in vain, and yet interesting, to consider what might have happened if that seduction had been consummated.  Think of the bickering harem Crozier could assemble: Hickey and Jopson and Gibson and then Irving, etc etc. (But this speculation, that a captain would handpick a seraglio of sailors,  is ruined by the knowledge that, despite all the porn stories and movies, there is no one a teacher would want less to seduce than her students.)

James has to move his little pick ax from one hand to the other to reach out to Francis, suggesting that, emotion aside, he made a conscious decision (his bones not yet reduced to broken glass) to grab Francis’ jacket, right over his heart, no less, and jostle Francis in a friendly manner.

This moment is comparable, to those who might be interested, to Star Trek: The Original Series’s “Amok Time” when Spock grabs Kirk by the arms. Quite the pensee could be written comparing Kirk-Crozier (the fair-haired captains) and Spock-Fitzjames, the haughty eyebrow-waggling second.  The latter’s reserve is melted, melted utterly by his realization of how much he loves his Captain. 

Author’s note: I am into Edward, but conditionally: I like him in that coat that makes him look substantial. Matthew McNulty is lovely, but he’s far thinner than I thought he was, which came as a bit of a shock.

His shortness is also quite astonishing. I can’t imagine Levesconte being involved.

Levesconte is too busy lying on his little officer’s cot, reminiscing about the time he said “benjo” and everybody cheered.

“There was a fourth man.”

I know you are referring to the raid on Silna in “Punished as a Boy”, but these words put one in mind of T.S. Eliot’s notes to the “Fire Sermon” in his “Wasteland”: “it was related that the party of [Anarctic] explorers, at the extremity of their strength, had the constant delusion that there was one more member than could actually be counted”.  Ah, the hypnotic potency of the top of the world.

Did Edward just grab Irving’s knee? Judging by Irving’s expression, yes, I think he did. I think he leaves his hand there for the rest of the meeting. Actually, no, he does not, but he appears to again bring it down to the general vicinity of Irving’s lower body.

I have run this scene over again and again and again (like the Zapruder film), and I think Edward does make an aggressively intimate gesture: “left and to the back, left and to the back.”  Irving does not seem displeased.

Hickey begins to assume what he imagines as Tuunbaq’s character. Having already, it’s implied, eaten part of Heather’s brain . . .

It is more probable that Hickey was just tapping at Heather’s brain, mainly because a brain IS not like a pudding; a pudding can be nibbled on without anyone noticing.  But if someone nicks a part of a cathedral, which is a self-contained entity, it would be noticed by, at least, Nurse Tozer.  Still Hickey might have tasted the cerebrospinal fluid, just for the Hickey of it.

When first aboard Terror, Hickey appears to be sizing up his new environment, but he also looks relieved, hopeful. It’s implied that he had a lucky escape from England, which had gotten too hot for him, but I think that he really believed that he was making a fresh start. Taking another man’s name was practical, perhaps a necessary evil, but I think that E.C. just didn’t want to be E.C. anymore.

I admire the symmetry of Hickey throwing a Neptune-sized bag down by Hodgson, thus startling him far more than one think a tough lieutenant would be startled.

Author’s note: . . Silna doesn’t fall into Goodsir’s arms, because there’s no reason why she would; she might like him, but he’s merely the least untrustworthy of a group of untrustworthy men who, by the end of the series, have not just made her home almost uninhabitable, but killed her father and her friends. Her discovery of Goodsir's body, the state it’s left in, confirms it: if this is what the British do to each other, she was lucky to get away when she did.

Hear hear!

By the way, if one is in the mood, another pensee could also be written about the real daguerreotypes of the Franklin expedition.  I am particularly amused by Gore and Fairholme.  Gore hates Lady Jane and this stupid thing she’s making him do. just so Sir John can be further exalted.  Fairholme picks up the vibe and poses just like Gore, only he has to borrow the affable Fitzjames’ jacket.

I think we’ve all been there.

[seddm]

Cleaved Starco breakdown

I made one of these posts for the past few episodes, it’s only right I make one for the series finale as well!

This is going to be scene by scene, and not as much as an overarching analysis of the themes of the ship, since I already made hundreds of posts about it, but I wanted to get one thing out of the way first: the episode is very light on romance, with essentially no moment being necessarily characterized as non platonic except for a little detail at the beginning, but this is no detriment to Starco at all. With Here to Help (and Mama Star and The Tavern at the End of the Multiverse) Star and Marco’s relationship fully got the last piece of the puzzle, embracing without doubts or insecurities the romantic aspect of what they feel for each other. Passion, physical attraction. With this being true, and something that both of them are absolutely sure about,

Cleaved goes one step beyond, portraying Star and Marco’s relationship in a more “all encompassing” way, beyond the specifics of platonic or romantic love: two individuals who’d do anything to be together, and who are sure about how fundamental they are in their respective lives. To quote this excellent post by @altorav , “this is what true love actually is, it’s not about smooching your boy/gal, it’s the desire to stay and be together with your loved one above anything else” . 

Also, for those who are wondering “but then was Romantic Starco needed if the finale didn’t really end up portraying it in an explicit way?”, see this post (spoiler alert, the answer is “yes it was absolutely needed or they would have never been completely fulfilled and happy”).

This is a very minor detail, but I thank the boarder who decided to open the episode with Star and Marco still holding hands, right from the ending of the previous segment.

As I said the episode decide to focus on Star and Marco’s relationship as a whole, with almost no specific focus on romance itself, except for this scene at the very beginning. Which is super cute and shows that Marco and Star are ready to do just about anything when they’re together, but it’s also important because it’s clearly characterized as something romantic (change of musical cue when Marco holds Star’s hand, Eclipsa cooing and proving once and for all that she was a Starco shipper all along): obviously just in the previous segment we got Star calling Marco her boyfriend, so it’s not like the romantic part of their relationship would have stopped existing if ignored for one episode, but given the extreme compartmentalized nature of the series even just having this small scene means a lot. The episode itself, its climax and themes, don’t want to focus specifically on the "Eros” side of love, but they still wanted to remind us that it’s an important part of their relationship, even if just at the beginning. It brings a previously missing and special kind of comfort, akin to Star being so eager to spend some time alone with Marco to sort their feelings out before the “final fight” in Here to Help. This time the one who needs it to be able to tackle the ordeal in front of them is Marco, who needs to hold Star’s hand to be “ready.”

Already mentioned in Here to Help with Star giggling at Marco’s antics, but we get reminded once more that Star finds just about all of Marco’s weird quirks endearing - obviously this is a “Aaah, I’m going to miss even this stuff when you're gone!” situation, but we know that it’s something that’d be true regardless.

 And it’s true for Marco as well - he said this in Curse of the Blood Moon, sure, but we now know that even the characters admitted that was never a thing to being with, so that’s genuinely the way Marco feels.

These are completely normal things to say in this situation, but it’s not something that usually happens in this show, so it might be a sign of increased care (not that Star didn’t care for Marco before they smooched, obviously). Anyway, while the first line might not mean much, the second one is definitely important: Star knows that if her plans work she’s going to lose Marco forever, and she wants to spend the last moments together and tell him goodbye one last time.

Ouch.

#appreciateyourgirlfriend

“Star didn’t tell Marco that destroying magic would have closed off dimensions she didn’t ask him if he was ok with it and still dragged him along to enact her plan!” I don’t think I’ve seen anyone complain about this, THANK GOD, because everyone who watched the show probably realizes that as much as Star absolutely adores Marco, and vice versa, neither of them would have ever put their own happiness before the safety of all of Mewni. The situation is not “Star deceived Marco” but “Star didn’t want to have such a painful conversation with Marco that’d have just crushed both their spirits”.

Star was clearly trying to play it off, again not to deceive Marco but because embracing the reality of facts would have been too painful for both of them, but she obviously breaks down and Marco understands and he breaks down too but they both know that it was the right thing to do.

This hug is very reminiscent of the one in Toffee, but it’s a sad separation instead of a happy reunion.

Long, wide “together even when everything is coming apart” shot, even though this idea is going to be even more thematically important in a couple of scenes.

This might look like a ””weak”” (as in lacking an epic enough boarding and soundtrack) goodbye, but that’s mostly because the real climax comes with the following scene. In universe it’s a tragic moment between two teens in love who can’t find the right words to express just how painful this separation is, with the clock ticking down, and all they can do is hug, cry, and tell each other “bye.” Interestingly Marco has cried over Star four times only in the series (two in Cleaved, one in Mewberty, on in Toffee. I’m not counting the tears in Curse of the Blood Moon since they weren't characterized as something as serious, while still obviously being sign of very serious feelings), and every time it was over thinking he had lost Star forever.

The realization of what just happened fully hits Star: she’s never going to see Marco again. She quickly weighs her options, with a shot that includes essentially all the most important people on Mewni to her (missing Ponyhead and River), and concludes that she’d rather abandon her home dimension and family than not be with him.

@ngame989 made an excellent post about this, but I’m going to shortly go over the related points and potential questions / objections to the scene (actually they go for Marco as well, since as we are told in the following scene he was ready to do the same):

Would have this been a selfish decision? No. Star (and Marco) was ready to give up on her relationship to save Mewni, she did what she had to do.

Would they have left obligations behind them? No. Star exhausted her duties on Mewni, and had no more obligations left (as in, she wasn’t supposed to rule, to be Queen, she was done helping Eclipsa); Marco would have left behind Mariposa, absolutely, but she doesn’t depend on him to survive, he’s not her dad.

Would this have hurt their friends and families? Terribly so, but they’d have understood that they were chasing their own happiness (ok technically this goes for the Mewni side, no one but maybe Janna would have known anything on the Earth side). Moon understands, both here and later, how important Marco is to Star. Tom and Janna specifically point Star and Marco in the directions of the portals. Thinking that the protagonist of this series exists just to make their loved ones happy and aren’t entitled to some happiness on their own is wrong, and it’s clearly false in universe. Star and Marco’s loved ones would want them to be happy, even at the cost of some of their own happiness.

Would Star and Marco have been hurt by this decision? In part, obviously: it’d have been painful to abandon their homes and families, it’d have been a bittersweet ending, but it’d also have been the right decision. Star and Marco have finally identified that they’re the core of each other’s happiness and fulfillment, and that isn’t the case for their relationships with others (and everyone else recognizes that too). It’s not a matter of “Star and Marco feeling happy is more important than other characters feeling happy”, it’s that Star and Marco desire to be together so strongly that they could not achieve true, lasting happiness without it, but the same can’t be said for anything they share with anyone else.

It’s not entirely clear whether Marco was drawn here holding his stomach to remind us of the stab wound, or if it was just a vulnerable pose of someone who didn’t know what to do anymore and was just waiting for something to happen, but it’s adorable nevertheless.

Yes, everything is going to hell, yes they’re scared, but both Star and Marco can’t help but smile at the idea of the other being ready to abandon everything else to be with them.

As I anticipated earlier, this is absolute peak Starco. Two teens who don’t know what’s going on, in the middle of a storm that’s destroying a whole dimension, and they don’t care about it - Star even smiles: are they going to die? Are they going to be stuck there forever? In this moment all they care about is being together, and feeling each other’s body and presence.

Tons can be speculated about this scene as far as its connection to lore and how magic works in the show’s world, but as far as Starco goes it’s extremely straight forward: dipping down is connected to emotions and, more specifically, to “summoning everything you have” (as told by Moon in the S2 premiere, My New Wand). And in this moment, Star and Marco are everything the other has and needs. So they dip down hard, harder than anything else in the Universe before, probably.

As I said earlier, Star and Marco’s loved ones understand how important Marco is to her and would absolutely want her to be happy, even if it meant suffering on their own. I mean that’s Wholesome 101 I don’t have to tell anyone this, it’s the basis of any heartwarming moment in fiction which obviously stems from real life selfless love, simplified.  

Here too, Tom certainly understands the implications of showing Star a portal which might be a one way to Earth, and Janna might as well, and this seconds after having showed Marco some emotions admitting (in her own way) that she cares about him, and yet they’re both ready to let them go for their own sake and happiness. Turns out that the show’s cast as well wants the main characters to be happy, what a crazy concept!

“Wow Star and Marco didn’t even look that sad about having lost each other and yet five seconds later they’re rushing to get to the portal this is so inconsistent!” look it’s a cartoon for kids, they can’t have the main characters be utterly broken husks for half the episode, and they needed to have some heartwarming moments with Ponyhead and Janna to conclude some more character arcs. It obvious that Star and Marco wouldn’t just accept having lost each other that fast but there are also narrative needs intrinsic to every fictional story.

Same street as the first episode (ok they’re entirely different but they put the same stores, composition of the shot > geographical consistency), no more safe kid crossing at the light. The portal explodes in front of the Stop & Slurp where their friendship began. The whole “portal chasing” scene is a love letter to how far Starco went 

I don’t want to speculate about the details of the merging in this post, or what it means about magic, I just wanted to point the obvious out: magic clearly cares about where people belong. Star and Marco belonged together strongly enough to have The Magic find a solution to the lack of dimensional travelling, by “belonging” together the two dimensions.

As I said before, it’s not that “Marco and/or Star aren’t sad for a couple of scene = they have accepted their separation”, just narrative needs. Here Marco is absolutely broken by having missed what he thought was his last chance by a second.

The good ol’ staring in disbelief while catching your breath and ignoring the new incredible world around you because too focused on processing that your loved one is actually there, in front of you, forever, without anything there to separate the two of you again.

After a goodbye, the happiest “welcome back”.

There’s no kiss or hug, they just calmly walk and greet each other. A new chapter of their lives begins here (an important theme in the season), together. They know that they want to be together and that they’re the core to each other’s happiness, and they have all the tools to succeed in life and find what they want to do in the future. Their arcs concluded and established them as characters vastly more mature than they were at the beginning of the show: not individuals who have everything figured out, nor individuals who feel like they need to have everything figured out already (it’s one of the core themes in The Knight Shift and Beach Day), but individuals who know what’s important and are emotionally ready to take on the future.

And this is why I feel like they decided to have just a simple greet in this last scene of the show. They know that they can now be together forever, there’s no urgency or any rush anymore, they can take it as easy as they want, savor the moment, and walk together into a new chapter of their lives - a new chapter of everyone’s lives, between the changes in Mewni and the dimensions being merged.

Also: parallelisms, and this time they finally understand everything they feel and want (shots in S2, S3 and S4 finale).

[fursasaida]

Care to share your thoughts on what reality is and what makes life life?

I’m thinking a lot about consequences and loss after the events of the last few days, so it seems like the right time to come back to this. The first time I tried to answer it was overly explanatory: I was trying to walk you through every idea I’ve read and internalized that brought me to the perspective I have. I think that’s probably more trouble than it’s worth (for you the reader, not just for me), so I’ll just provide the names of some texts at the end for anyone who’s interested.

The short version is this. What does it mean for something to happen? Why do things exist the way they are and not other ways? How are these existing things related to each other? My understanding is that things come to exist through happenings, and that these happenings can only be defined by having some sort of consequence. That is, a mark must be made, or something must be divided from something else, or transformed, etc. An apple becomes part of my body because I eat it, and we can know that I ate it because my stomach is fuller and the apple is smaller. In turn, the event that produced these tangible marks defines my relationship with the apple; this includes not only the eating but my ideas about apples as food and the processes by which the apple becomes available to me (that is, how the apple is produced). I think a lot about Cole about 2/3 of the way through 12 Monkeys, when he starts to accept the premise that maybe he’s insane (rather than that he’s a time traveler) because moving between different points in time has destroyed his sense of sequence, causality, and consequence. It’s not just that time as we currently imagine it is linear and orderly (time is actually much more complex than this). It’s that if events have no consequences–if they make no marks, if they can’t be understood to affect anything–then they are not parseable as events.

This does not translate into clockwork determinism, though, where everything is inevitable because it’s all just endless chains of cause and effect. The past is fundamentally inaccessible (in exactly the same way that the future is). All we have is memory and material traces of the past, which exist in the present. We constantly reproduce and remake the past on the basis of these traces and memories, now, in the present. Therefore the past can be changed. But it cannot be erased or undone, because the very things we have to work with–our means of changing the past–are the marks and traces and memories that show that there ever was a past at all.

If I put this on a metaphorical level I think it’s pretty easy to understand. We change our minds about what traces of the past mean all the time. Take a monument, like say an obelisk. When it was built it meant something very specific to the religious-political elites who made it in Ancient Egypt, and to its audience; obelisks were, among other things, tools of communication. Over time, obelisks became ruins and mysterious monuments bearing unreadable marks. Later, as Europe became fascinated by Ancient Egypt, obelisks became symbols of wealth and power, used to imply continuity between French and British Empires and the Ancient Egyptian empire. When an obelisk was placed at the center of the Place de la Concorde in Paris, it was because it was seen as an apolitical symbol in the context of French political strife (though this of course ignored that the French colonization of Egypt was…..political). Meanwhile the study of heiroglyphics proceeds such that obelisks become, instead of tools of contemporary communication, part of that category called archaeological evidence. And meanwhile Egyptian politics and nationhood develop to the point that obelisks become part of the category of objects called “heritage.” The object remains the same, though it weathers and it travels; the actions that produced it as itself endure, literally as marks in stone. Its meaning changes over time and with context as different narratives and ideologies reshape it for their own purposes. The history of these reshapings can be traced as what we call “historiography,” or the writing of history; that is, history has a history of its own.

The point I want to make very clear is that the “remaking of the past” is not only symbolic or ideological. It’s not just about interpreting things differently; it is more than historiography. No one can make it so that the obelisk was never carved. But what the obelisk is, not only what it means, does change. Normally I would get into quantum physics here (the quantum eraser experiment and quantum discord), but I’m trying to keep it simple, so just consider it noted that this phenomenon appears even at the molecular level. You can decide in the present whether the light you measured (i.e., used to make marks) in the past was composed of particles or was a wave. But when you make that decision, the marks from your last decision do not go away. The past has a past. The traces of that meta-past cannot be undone even when you change what the past is.

If the past could be erased or undone, this would mean that, say, toppling a monument means it was never put up–that that event didn’t happen. It is tempting and easy here to retreat to the metaphorical/historiographic level and say, well, in a way that’s what toppling it is doing; it’s announcing the end of somebody’s power, trying to erase that power in the landscape. But making people ignorant of the past is not the same as undoing it, because whatever happened in the past–by virtue of the fact that it happened at all–had material consequences that are not reversible. The toppled monument may become covered in soil and overgrown, but it was still carved out of rock and nothing undoes that. The stone does not magically reappear as part of the rock it came from. That people forget does not make it something that never happened. Instead it becomes the mark of a past version of the past. Whether we remember that past version doesn’t change the fact that it happened; it just means we have remade the past in the present. If you’re familiar with Walter Benjamin’s notion of debris and the Angel of History, my version of it would be that we are surrounded by all the traces of all past pasts; indeed, part of what makes it possible to remake the past is the fact that these traces endure to coexist with us in the present, and not all of them fit together.

This matters to my feelings about what reality is and what makes life life because, as I said early on, if you could undo the marks of the past–and of the past’s past–then there would be no events. There would quite possibly be no things at all. To move this to an ethical register, to live a life in which you always have a do-over button is, for me, impossible to imagine. It requires that the other people around you be essentially simulations (assuming they, too, have do-over buttons, and therefore are proceeding through their own playground universes), or else be puppets to your whims. It means you will never be responsible for anything or to anyone; it means always being able to declare “I didn’t mean it” and have that make everything okay because no one else will ever know what you did–because you didn’t do it. The minds, feelings, and pain of others need not ever be real to you, only your desire to avoid being made to feel bad by their reactions, which you need not even understand; you can just redo stuff by trial and error until you get “changes” you want to “save,” and move on. It is a life of being sorry only to get caught, so to speak. You need never make any mark on the world you don’t intend or like, which is–I mean like, materially–just literally not what existing is. I exist because of the other things and beings that constitute me and that I help constitute in turn. If I can pick and choose, if I can curate what all of those marks and relationships look like–well, for one thing, I’d never have time to do anything else (perhaps I don’t wish to disturb these carpet fibers in this particular way), but also I am simply not operating in the domain of what existence is? I think Russian Doll illustrates this pretty well. Nadia and Alan do live this kind of do-over existence, but the universe doesn’t just accept it. Even after reboots, their actions have consequences, entropy proceeds, things start to decohere.

That life is hard because there are no do-overs is true. It’s not that I have no sympathy for this fact; trust me, I feel it acutely all the time. Nothing I’m saying here is intended to come across like “grow up and join the real world, snowflake!” But without this fact there is also no life, because nothing happens; there are no meaningful relationships or responsibilities. It might be pleasant to be able to return back to your last save and redo things better, but it would also mean living in a world where nothing is real. Responsibility is many things. Two of them are a) the ability to respond to others, and b) the ability to allow others to respond. Even a puppetmaster must contend with the fact that their puppets sometimes break; they have to look after them. But this shouldn’t be seen as only restrictive, a burden to be borne. The forms of responsibility enabled by the indelible past are also what allow us to remake it–to respond differently. We are only here because we inherit the past, and in that sense we owe it a debt; but we have also received from it the gift of being here at all.

References!

At Multiverse Impasse, a New Theory of Scale

Walter Benjamin, “On the Concept of History”

Laurent Olivier, The Dark Abyss of Time (review/summary here)

Gastón Gordillo, Rubble: The Afterlife of Destruction (which you can hear something about on this podcast)

On 12 Monkeys:

“12 Monkeys Is the Apocalypse Film We Need Right Now”

The film Looper, if you haven’t seen it, is itself a comment on 12 Monkeys and extends its ideas in the direction of responsibility.

Karen Barad, “Temporality, Materiality, Justice To-Come” and Meeting the Universe Halfway (you can find a pdf if you google)

(It was hard to find anything both readable and open-access on this, but if you’re really interested, get into quantum discord and quantum illumination)

Michel-Rolph Trouillot, Silencing the Past

Paul Ricoeur, Memory, History, Forgetting

Jacques Derrida, Spectres of Marx: The State of the Debt, the Work of Mourning, and the New International

Derek McCormack, “Remotely Sensing Affective Afterlives”

[terfstillmeanslesbian]

Shame and Narcissistic Rage in Autogynephilic Transsexualism

by Anne A. Lawrence (a trans woman), published online: 23 April 2008

One of the most important contributions made by Dreger’s article is her description of the extraordinary lengths to which some of Bailey’s male-to-female (MtF) transsexual opponents went in their attempts to discredit him, his book, and his ideas. By Dreger’s account, their campaign against Bailey continued for at least two years after the publication of The Man Who Would Be Queen (TMWWBQ; Bailey, 2003). Examination of the Internet sites maintained by some of Bailey’s principal transsexual opponents suggests that the campaign against him remains ongoing. The attacks, as described by Dreger, went far beyond writing scathing reviews of TMWWBQ. They included orchestration of charges of professional misconduct against Bailey, filed with Northwestern University and the Illinois Department of Professional Regulation; attempts to turn Bailey’s colleagues against him; attacks directed against Bailey’s children; and efforts to discredit or silence nearly anyone who openly supported him. Dreger’s article suggests that many of Bailey’s opponents intended not only to discredit Bailey’s book, but also to destroy its author. The duration, intensity, and sheer savagery of the campaign waged by many of Bailey’s MtF transsexual opponents is astonishing, especially given that Bailey’s book sold only about 4200 copies and probably would have received little attention, in either its print or Internet versions, were it not for the publicity that his opponents themselves created.

One could imagine that Kohut (1972) was describing the campaign conducted by some of Bailey’s MtF transsexual opponents when he wrote the following:

[There is a] need for revenge, for righting a wrong, for undoing a hurt by whatever means, and a deeply anchored, unrelenting compulsion in pursuit of all these aims…. There is utter disregard for reasonable limitations and a boundless wish to redress an injury and to obtain revenge…. The fanaticism of the need for revenge and the unending compulsion of having to square the account after an offense are…not the attributes of an aggressivity which is integrated with the mature purposes of the ego…. Aggressions employed in the pursuit of maturely experienced causes are not limitless…. The narcissistically injured [person], on the other hand, cannot rest until he has blotted out [the]…offender who dared to oppose him, [or] to disagree with him. (pp. 380, 382, 385)

These excerpts are taken from Kohut’s description of narcissistic rage, a concept that I believe is central to understanding many of the attacks against Bailey and their implications.

In this essay, I argue that much of the MtF transsexual campaign against Bailey can be understood as a manifestation of narcissistic rage. It is no coincidence, I believe, that most of Bailey’s principal opponents fit the demographic pattern associated with nonhomosexual MtF transsexualism (see Lawrence, 2007). I propose that nonhomosexual (i.e., presumably autogynephilic) MtF transsexuals are probably at increased risk for the development of narcissistic disorders— significant disorders in the sense of self—as a consequence of the inevitable difficulties they face in having their cross-gender feelings and identities affirmed by others, both before and after gender transition. As a result, many autogynephilic transsexuals are likely to be particularly vulnerable to feelings of shame and may be predisposed to exhibit narcissistic rage in response to perceived insult or injury. It is not hard to understand why Bailey’s book was experienced by at least some nonhomosexual MtF transsexuals as inflicting narcissistic injury and why this led some of them to express apparent narcissistic rage. I propose that narcissistic disorders in autogynephilic transsexuals are important and probably common phenomena, which deserve more extensive study than they have thus far received. I also suggest that clinicians and scholars should be aware of the susceptibility of autogynephilic transsexuals to narcissistic injury and should try to avoid inflicting such injury.

It is widely accepted that transsexualism represents a fundamental disorder in a person’s sense of self (Beitel, 1985; Hartmann, Becker, & Rueffer-Hesse, 1997), and this may be particularly true of nonhomosexual MtF transsexualism. Indeed, it is hard to imagine a more dramatic example of a disturbed sense of self than for a person who has lived an outwardly successful life as a man to believe that he genuinely is, ought to be, or would be happier living as a woman. It is not surprising, then, that the field of self-psychology, which is concerned with the diagnosis and treatment of disorders of the sense of self, offers a theoretical and clinical perspective that is relevant to understanding the dynamics of nonhomosexual MtF transsexualism.

Kohut (1971, 1972), one of the most influential theorists in the field of self-psychology, wrote extensively about how individuals develop a stable, cohesive, and positive sense of self. He also discussed the genesis of narcissistic disorders, which can arise when something interferes with the development of a healthy sense of self. Kohut observed that two fundamental processes, mirroring and idealizing, supported the development of a healthy sense of self during childhood and contributed to maintaining a healthy sense of self in adulthood. Mirroring occurs when children or adults experience themselves as being witnessed empathetically (i.e., both accurately and approvingly) by other people. Idealizing occurs when children or adults are able to experience a sense of unity or identity with a person (often a parent) or an entity (e.g., a cause or an ideal) that they perceive as powerful and admirable.

Anecdotal evidence suggests that many nonhomosexual MtF transsexuals do not receive satisfactory mirroring and idealizing experiences, either before or after gender transition, although I am aware of only one article (Lothstein, 1988), limited to three case reports involving preschool boys, that has formally addressed mirroring and idealizing experiences in gender-dysphoric males. Unlike their homosexual counterparts, nonhomosexual MtF transsexuals do not display pervasive femininity during childhood and adolescence, but many exhibit at least some feminine interests and behaviors (for a review, see Lawrence, 2004). The nonhomosexual MtF transsexuals I have interviewed usually report, however, that any feminine characteristics they displayed during childhood and adolescence were not witnessed approvingly. On the contrary, they report that they were criticized, ridiculed, or shamed for displaying feminine interests and behaviors and quickly learned to conceal them (see also Seil, 2004). Concealed characteristics cannot, of course, be empathetically mirrored and can become an ongoing source of shame. Erotic cross-dressing, which is probably nearly universal in nonhomosexual MtF transsexuals (Lawrence, 2007), is especially unlikely to be empathetically mirrored and is likely to feel especially shameful. Usually it is conducted in secret, which precludes any mirroring. If erotic cross-dressing is witnessed, as in the case of accidental discovery, it is usually met with severe disapproval. The need to conceal elements of the self in order to experience approval from significant others is both a cause and an effect of feelings of shame, and these feelings may be especially intense if the concealed elements are related to one’s sexuality (Tangney & Dearing, 2002), as is true in autogynephilic transsexualism.

Nonhomosexual MtF transsexuals may also find it difficult to idealize and identify with parents or caregivers of either sex during childhood and adolescence. The nonhomosexual MtF transsexuals I have interviewed commonly report that they felt distant or estranged from their fathers and male caregivers during childhood. Typically, they say that they felt closer to their mothers, other female relatives, and female caregivers, whom they often idealized. They often report or imply, however, that they were unable to identify fully with these female figures, perhaps due to the many masculine traits and interests they also observed within themselves. Because of an inability to fully identify with women, these autogynephilic transsexuals may be prone to experience their feminine characteristics, including their desire to cross-dress, as egodystonic and shameful (Seil, 2004).

After gender transition, the situation often becomes no better and may become worse. Nonhomosexual MtF transsexuals who transition to live as women want to be regarded as women and treated as women. The male-typical aspects of their appearance and behavior, however, often make it difficult for them to be seen as other than transsexual women. Sometimes they may be seen simply as men pretending to be women. This makes it likely that they will experience frequent unempathetic reactions, including overt disrespect or derision, harassment, denial of basic civil rights, or violence, as Dreger observed. Because their feelings of being or wanting to be women are so central to their sense of self, they may experience the negative reactions of others as implying that they are inadequate in a deep and fundamental way, leading to further feelings of shame (Tangney & Dearing, 2002). Autogynephilic transsexuals may also find it harder to fully identify with women after transition than before, because the differences they inevitably observe between themselves and natal women become harder to rationalize after transition. Before transition, these differences can be attributed to the necessity of temporarily maintaining a socially acceptable masculine persona; after transition, when this excuse evaporates, autogynephilic transsexuals may be forced to confront reality. Nonhomosexual MtF transsexuals often seem to expect that, with enough effort, they will be able to pass undetected as natal women after transition; but because their appearance and behavior are rarely naturally feminine, this expectation usually proves to be unrealistic. Tangney and Dearing (2002) observed that persons prone to narcissistic disorders ‘‘typically develop many unrealistic expectations for themselves…that, in effect, set the stage for shame. With each failure to achieve ambitions—ambitions that are often grandiose— the narcissistic individual is apt to feel shame’’ (p. 72).

If the preceding analysis is accurate, one might expect that narcissistic disorders would be common among nonhomosexual MtF transsexuals. Surprisingly, there is little solid empirical evidence on this point. The few studies that have examined personality disorders among transsexuals usually have found that these disorders in general—and disorders in Cluster B, which includes Narcissistic Personality Disorder (American Psychiatric Association [APA], 2000), in particular—are more common in transsexuals than in nontranssexuals. Most studies, however, either have not reported data on Narcissistic Personality Disorder specifically or have not reported results for MtF and female-to-male transsexuals separately; almost none have reported results for homosexual and nonhomosexual MtF transsexuals separately. The notable exception is a study by Hartmann et al. (1997), conducted with 20 MtF transsexuals, half of whom were androphilic (homosexual) and half of whom were gynephilic (nonhomosexual). Hartmann et al. found ‘‘significant psychopathological aspects and narcissistic dysregulation in most of our [MtF] gender dysphoric patients.’’ Both homosexual and nonhomosexual MtF transsexuals displayed levels of narcissistic pathology that were similar to, or slightly higher than, a clinical sample of patients with nonpsychotic psychiatric problems, including some patients with narcissistic disorders. Hartmann et al. used cluster analysis to assign their transsexual participants to one of four categories, representing different patterns of narcissistic pathology. Their category of greatest interest is ‘‘the classic narcissistic self,’’ which encompasses most of the traits associated with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Hartmann et al. observed that ‘‘gynephilic patients are higher (but not statistically significant) in… the ‘classic narcissistic self,’ which is largely due to high scores in the scale ‘narcissistic rage’.’’ This finding confirms that high levels of narcissistic rage are present in at least some nonhomosexual MtF transsexuals.

It is certainly not difficult to find evidence of narcissistic personality traits, including a sense of entitlement, grandiosity, and lack of empathy (APA, 2000), in some of Bailey’s principal MtF transsexual opponents. Perhaps the most obvious of these is a sense of entitlement, the belief that one is deserving of special treatment. This is evident, for example, in their outrage that Bailey described them in a way they felt was inconsistent with their identities and in their belief that Bailey had an obligation to address what they believed to be evidence for a ‘‘third type’’ of MtF transsexual. A sense of entitlement is also evident in the demand some of them made that the Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association conduct an investigation of Bailey. The grandiosity of some of Bailey’s opponents comes across most clearly in the Internet sites that some of them maintain, which contain, for example, claims of their supposed ability to pass undetected (in ‘‘deep stealth’’) as natal woman, despite the presence of many unmistakably masculine features, and reports of their discovery of supposed facts about transsexualism that have escaped the notice of other researchers for decades. Their lack of empathy is most apparent in their utter disregard for the feelings of the persons they attacked, with the attack on Bailey’s children providing perhaps the most egregious example.

The grandiose, unrealistic sense of self that is characteristic of many persons with narcissistic disorders can be understood as a defense against what would otherwise be overwhelming feelings of inadequacy or shame (Kohut, 1971). In the case of nonhomosexual MtF transsexuals, this unrealistic sense of self might include the belief that one passes undetectably as a woman, despite having unmistakably masculine physical characteristics; that one has a ‘‘female brain’’ in one’s male body, despite having male-typical interests and attitudes; that eroticism had nothing to do with one’s gender transition, despite an extensive history of cross-gender fetishism; and that one is exclusively sexually attracted to men, despite a past history of attraction to, and sexual activity with, women. Although there may be a temptation to disparage this unrealistic sense of self, it is arguably preferable to some alternatives, which might include a life of ‘‘empty’’ depression, overwhelming feelings of shame leading to suicide, or returning to an unsatisfying and unfulfilling life as a man. 

An action that threatens to disrupt the grandiose, unrealistic sense of self that many narcissistic persons maintain is experienced as a narcissistic injury. Kohut (1972) noted that narcissistic rage—the disproportionate, compulsive pursuit of revenge that seeks to obliterate both the offense and the offender— is one of two possible responses to narcissistic injury: ‘‘It is easily observed that the narcissistically vulnerable individual responds to actual (or anticipated) narcissistic injury either with shamefaced withdrawal (flight) or with narcissistic rage (fight)’’ (p. 379). Tangney and Dearing (2002) pointed out, however, that rage is by far the more effective response for reconstituting a damaged sense of self:

Feelings of self-righteous anger can help the shamed person regain some sense of agency and control. Anger is an emotion of potency and authority. In contrast, shame is an emotion of the worthless, the paralyzed, the ineffective. Thus,...by turning their anger outward, shamed individuals become angry instead, reactivating and bolstering the self (p. 93). 

So, narcissistic rage, although very unpleasant to experience, is nevertheless an understandable response to perceived narcissistic injury.

Why did so many of Bailey’s MtF transsexual opponents appear to experience TMWWBQ as inflicting narcissistic injury? Bailey’s presentation of Blanchard’s concept of autogynephilia, and the transsexual typology and theory of transsexual motivation associated with it, seems to have been the real focus of most of the anger directed against the book. In oversimplified form, Blanchard’s theory might seem to imply that nonhomosexual MtF transsexualism is little more than sexual fetishism. Because most of Bailey’s principal opponents fit the demographic pattern associated with nonhomosexual MtF transsexualism, Blanchard’s ideas probably seemed utterly inconsistent with their sense of self. But Blanchard’s ideas were hardly new they had first been presented some 15 years earlier. So, why was the reaction against TMWWBQ so intense? I believe there were several reasons.

First, Bailey’s summary of Blanchard’s ideas was, as far as I am aware, the first to appear in a book intended for general readers and was, therefore, harder to ignore; previous presentation of Blanchard’s ideas had been limited to scientific journals, textbooks, and a few Internet essays. Moreover, Bailey presented Blanchard’s ideas in uncompromising terms: not just as a theory with strong empirical support and powerful explanatory value, but as the defining truth about MtF transsexualism. Anyone who rejected Blanchard’s theory, Bailey seemed to imply, was either ignorant or a fool. Finally, Bailey made little effort to describe MtF transsexuals in an empathetic, affirming way. Admittedly, he had some complimentary things to say about his two main informants, Terese and Cher, and he was a strong advocate for the availability of sex reassignment surgery to both types of MtF transsexuals. But his characterization of autogynephilic transsexuals as unwomanly (‘‘there is no sense in which they have women’s souls’’; Bailey, 2003, p. xii), as not ‘‘primarily’’ (p. 167) having a disorder of gender identity, and as untruthful (pp. 172–175) undoubted struck many of his MtF transsexual opponents as insensitive at best and gratuitously insulting at worst. His statements implying that many or most homosexual MtF transsexuals are prostitutes (p. 184) or shoplifters (p. 185) certainly made the situation no better, if only by suggesting a pattern of disrespect. In short, it is not hard to see why many of Bailey’s MtF transsexual opponents experienced his book as inflicting narcissistic injury and why they reacted with narcissistic rage.

What conclusions can be drawn from the foregoing analysis? First, I propose that there are good theoretical and clinical reasons for believing that narcissistic disorders are prevalent among nonhomosexual MtF transsexuals. At present, however, there is little solid empirical evidence to support this belief. I suggest that this would be a promising area for additional research, especially because the results could have important clinical implications. Meanwhile, clinicians and scholars should perhaps be more aware that angry reactions they elicit from nonhomosexual MtF transsexuals might represent narcissistic rage, rather than mature, instrumental anger. This awareness might aid in interpretation and also facilitate empathy.

Second, I suggest that clinicians and scholars should be aware of the susceptibility of autogynephilic transsexuals to narcissistic injury and should try to avoid inflicting such injury through insensitivity or carelessness. Virtually all transsexuals are likely to have been shamed and criticized for their gender variance before transition, and virtually all transsexuals—but perhaps especially autogynephilic transsexuals— are likely to encounter subtle or blatant disrespect, harassment, discrimination, or violence after transition. Autogynephilic transsexuals undertake painful and expensive treatments and often suffer severe losses in their efforts to live in a way that feels authentic and vital. They deserve sensitive, respectful treatment that reflects an awareness of the narcissistically wounding experiences they are likely to have suffered in the past. In particular, we should use care, and perhaps even forbearance, in our choice of descriptive language. I have suggested, for example, that it might be helpful to begin to describe autogynephilic transsexuals as persons who want to ‘‘become what they love’’ (Lawrence, 2007), as an alternative to more stigmatizing descriptions.

Finally, attention to sensitivity and respect in descriptive language might eventually make it easier to conduct the research that will lead to a better understanding of autogynephilic transsexualism. Largely due to the polarized climate created by the controversy over TMWWBQ, such research would be difficult, if not impossible, to conduct at present. But, if clinicians and scholars make a concerted effort to think about, speak about, and write about autogynephilic transsexualism with sensitivity and empathy, the climate for such research might eventually improve.

[scoobiesminyard]

understanding richie and eddie’s characters and issues with their sexuality by examining their fears as one of entities from the magnus archives (basically a primal fear) using both the book and movie:

((just want to say im not the first person to say all this, this character analysis was particularly inspired by @dear-wormwoods meta posts, i just wanted to use this concept to analyse them!))

richie- the beholding (the fear of being watched or followed, having the truth exposed or your secrets revealed)

- even in the book, richie is afraid to be seen- pennywise manifests as a giant eyeball

- this is expanded upon in the 2019 movie, as richie is terrified of being outed as gay. its the secret he carries with him for 27 years because he wasn’t able to face the potential judgment- richie’s crippling fear of sexuality entirely revolves around thinking people will negatively react to it, especially after he showed a glimmer of affection to a boy in the arcade and was brutally treated. not only is richie aware of homophobia on a worldwide level,but he has personal experience that his truth will have consquences. pennywise continually uses this to taunt him, and this fear is so intense that he is the only loser to try to leave derry. even though richie is living in a liberal city in a country which is quite progressive, even though he is 40 years old, he is still completely trapped in the closer and hiding his secret

- we see further subtle hints of this fear of being watched like in Neibolt Street, as the clowns eyes follow him around the room and also with the missing poster, the fear of people literally looking for him after something awful has happened

- i think this is really interesting considering how loud and attention seeking richie is, he makes *constant* jokes- most people wouldn’t assume someone who puts themselvesout there like that is insecure or afraid of people’s judgment. but it seems to me that richie definitely plays up the role of the comedian, works hard to appear confident and heterosexual (nonstop jokes about sex with women)- he prefers to live a lie than be himself even to his best friends because he is so deeply afraid of being rejected.

- 40 years is a really long time to allow fear to prevent you from being yourself or exposing your true, flawed self to others. we can only hope richie came out after chapter 2, and gave himself a chance to receive acceptance and true happiness.

eddie: the corruption (the fear and disgust of corruption, disease and filth)

- when eddie was young, he became very ill shortly after his father frank passing away from cancer. her mother sonya was terrified, she learnt that sickness or risk = sure death. eddie’s mother induced hypochondria and a phobia of germs in him, until he just as scared as she was of him becoming ill or hurt.

- consequently, this conditioning led to eddie seeing himself as weak- he is not allowed to do PE, takes placebo medications and uses a dummy inhaler all to protect him from germs, disease, danger and life itself.

- by 12, eddie has developed a deep fear of these things so it is no surprise that IT manifests to eddie as the leper. in the book eddie sees a man who is sick with syphilis and is revolted by him. pennywise takes the appearance of the leper in both films, the exact man eddie is afraid of becoming. pennywise breaks eddie’s arm in the first movie and vomits all over eddie as a kid and adult, playing into what affects eddie the most- injury and disease.

- however, it goes slightly deeper- eddie has an odd fascination with the leper and his “illness”. he goes back to the house where he saw the infected, rotting hobo because he can’t forget about him, he identifies with him even though he doesn’t know why. when pennywise appears as the leper, he also makes sexual comments towrd eddie.... not only is the leper sick but also gay (at least in eddie’s mind. its important to remember the leper is not a real man but how eddie understood the original hobo to be, and pennywise created the leper based off eddie’s fear of him)

- a quote that really sums this up is when eddie play acts as the hobo, thinking to himself “I can feel myself turning bad like an apple that’s going soft, I can feel it happening, eating from the inside to the out, eating, eating, eating me.” this is really indicative of a secret eddie is struggling with - he feels revolted with himself, feels infected with SOMETHING. this is not something physical, that is just the only way eddie knows how to conceptualize his burgeoning sexuality. eddie is beginning puberty and “going bad” as he starts having feelings for boys. no wonder he finds himsef relating to the man who is not only completely sick but sick from sex, sick from sex with men, his sick actions leading to his body physically rotting

- eddie’s struggles with his sexuality are completely linked with his hypochondria. he believes homosexuality is a sickness and sickness is absolutely not okay, he needs to be safe and healthy and normal because that is the way he was raised. on the other hand, his sexuality is who he is and he cannot cleanse himself of it. although he feels a deep shame about it that keeps him repressed and in denial his whole life, eddie is gay and inherently “corrupted”- i think eddie is terrified of being gay but he is also drawn to men and the idea of being truly himself, although he never gets further than dancing around the idea. eddie marries a woman who continues the controlling role that his mother played, and he uses his inhaler and a lot of medication as a shield against his overwhelming fear of disease and i think also against his unhealthy desires

- eddie is terrified not just developing physical illness but what he believes is a mental sickness (being gay), while being unable to totally reject his sexuality completely because being gay is fundamentally who he is and what he wants

IN CONCLUSION THEY DESERVED BETTER

[mbti-notes]

ENFJ w/ ENFP brother. Thank you for answering my question. I think you misread or read into things, like assuming I was meddling, when my Aunt reached out to me w/ her concerns. It wasn't prompted by me. Also, I've always been my brother's cheerleader, sending him random encouraging texts throughout his college experience and after. Cheerleading alone didn't get him the outcome he desired, and it's hard to see him or anyone else suffer and not do anything-especially when I've been prompted.

I debated whether to respond because your message was defensive and really missed the point. I will respond once more out of sympathy, but this will be the last time unless there is an obvious effort to overcome the defensiveness. Your focus is misdirected. You ask me for “immediate solutions” to your brother’s problem and resent what is said about your part; however, you are unable to articulate what the source of his problem is, and how can you solve a problem when you don’t know the cause? My contention is that you don’t understand his problem because you are unable to understand his perspective, otherwise, you would be able to help (and I stated that I believe your intention is to help though you chose the wrong methods).

Is it or is it not true that he has no confidence in you and thus won’t listen to you? The point you’ve missed is that it doesn’t matter how great your or my ideas are, they are completely useless if the poor state of the relationship does not allow you to communicate ideas with him. Therefore, the first problem that needs solving is not the job search but your relationship to him, specifically, why it is so broken that communication has ceased. Relationships are a two-way street. You point the finger at him as having the problem rather than looking at why the two of you have a problem. If you are unwilling to reflect on how you contribute to the dysfunctional relationship and want to pin all the blame on him for “misinterpreting” you, then stop reading now, because then we fundamentally disagree about the facts of the problem. I was outlining common Fe vs Fi issues so that you could reflect upon possible dysfunctional patterns in your relationship with your brother, nothing more, nothing less. You mistook it as “blame” and became defensive. My response hasn’t substantially changed:

Your aunt reached out to you with her concerns about him. Are you suggesting that this gives you license to involve yourself in their relationship despite the fact that it is none of your business and he won’t listen to you (i.e. you are unable to offer a useful solution)? Are you aware that you always have a choice to stay out of a situation when you don’t know what to do? Are you aware that you could cause unintentional harm when you try to help without having all the facts (and thus appear to be siding against him or ganging up on him)? 

You state that you don’t think of anyone as being “broken” and have been nothing but a “cheerleader” to your brother. Are you rewriting history to conceal your missteps (something Se loop+Ti grip often does)? Why then does he react so negatively to your “help”? Why then does he explicitly have to tell you to stop it with your “unsolicited advice”? Why then does he feel compelled to “prove you wrong” about him? Are you suggesting that the problem lies entirely with him and his inability to understand you? Are you suggesting that he’s making you into an enemy without any provocation whatsoever, i.e., that he is entirely at fault for the breakdown in this relationship? 

You say that you understand some people don’t like to ask for help but that you are always receptive to help when offered. Are you suggesting that, if this is true for you, then it should also be true for him, or everyone for that matter? Are you suggesting that because your brother is not receptive to YOUR brand of help, then he is not receptive to ANY help? 

You said you gave him suggestions that “play to his strengths” and you don’t understand how it could be misinterpreted as negative. Did he ask you for suggestions? Did he express to you that he wanted your “random encouragement”? If not, why are you giving unsolicited advice/comments, especially when he has explicitly stated that he does not want it?

You said that your advice to get a temporary job was “meant to imply that you have faith in him”, even though I explained to you in detail why this kind of “fixing” advice is destructive to FPs and directly undermines your stated goal (of letting him know that he can move at his own pace). Are you suggesting that there is no need to reflect on how your communication is received because your “intent” is the only thing that matters and people should “just know” exactly what you are “implying”? 

You asked me to let you know if your “Ti is off”. You should use Fe, not Ti, to feel people’s feelings and understand them. From exercising healthy Fe empathy, you will be far better situated to know what he really needs (as opposed to guessing, making blind assumptions, or projecting from your own expectations). Ti, especially the lower Ti style of “dissecting and defending”, does not help because it usually serves to worsen ENFJ personality problems, such as: trouble empathizing, egocentric perspective, hypercritical me vs them attitude, self-victimizing rumination, oversensitivity to criticism, miscalculation of cause and effect, misdirection of blame. Misusing Ti such that it shuts down proper Fe use is the wrong direction to go in.

You’re essentially wanting me to look at him without looking at you, which I believe is useless when your dysfunctional relationship is the biggest obstacle at present. I will speak in the abstract if it is less threatening:

If an ENFJ often suffers from: Fe insecurity that takes everything too personally and doesn’t know how to draw appropriate relationship boundaries, Ni presumptuousness/arrogance that is resistant to deep self-reflection, Se loop twisting of facts and overreaction to negativity, and/or unnecessary Ti grip defensiveness and blame, then the ENFJ is NOT in a good position to provide an ENFP the kind of unconditionally supportive emotional environment that they require to practice self-care and nurture Fi development.

One cannot be helpful without getting a good idea of where the other person is coming from, and one cannot know another’s perspective when their own issues are constantly getting in the way. Whether you suffer from these common ENFJ problems is your job to reflect on; whether these common ENFJ problems create obstacles in your relationships is your job to reflect on - I have absolutely no interest in making these judgments for you or about you. You don’t seem to know that Se loop is negative, you mention “Ti loop” instead of Ti grip - misusing terminology makes your knowledge of function theory appear quite lacking. Fear of brokenness is an unconscious low Ti related fear that makes ENFJs want to defend and deflect blame when criticized rather than reflect constructively on how they can improve (i.e. resistance to Ni and Ti development). Suffering from Se loop and Ti grip directly interfere with the empathic Fe objectivity that ENFJs require to resolve relationship problems effectively.

He needs to develop Fi in order to grow, but you’ve shown that you don’t understand Fi, and worse, your tone-deaf Fe-Ti often offends his Fi-Te, so how can you help him with his Fi development? I reiterate these problems: You don’t display enough empathy for his feelings nor deep understanding of his perspective; you suggest “fixes” before you’ve even understood what his problem really is; you shoot ideas/comments at him without knowing how they make him feel; you give him the form of help that YOU believe he should need or that YOU should want if you were in his position (but he’s not you). Are you aware that these behaviors, even when well-intentioned, are counter-productive to building a good relationship between FJs and FPs? Be brutally honest, do you learn mbti to increase your respect for how others think quite differently than you, or do you only learn it as a means to “manage people” into doing what you believe they should do? Are you prepared to reflect on yourself and change any problematic behaviors in an effort to repair the relationship with him so that he might be more open to receiving your help? If you believe that you have no reason to change anything and you should both just be responsible to yourselves and leave it at that, then ignore this entire message.

I don’t hand out short-term bandaids. The long-term solution is to mend your relationship, which means that you must listen to him with genuine openness and empathy - no judgment, no opinions, no blame, no advice, no suggestions, no fixes, no management, no overstepping boundaries - the way forward will naturally present itself when he trusts you enough to open up about his problem and talk about it authentically and explore ideas in a safe space. You can’t force trust, you have to earn it, so what have you done to earn his trust? Maybe the relationship is so broken that he won’t trust you no matter what you do, but there is no way for me to judge that matter, only he can tell you. Perhaps he has too many problems of his own to bother with you. The point is that you’re not able to pinpoint exactly what the problem is between you because you don’t have his perspective.

If you genuinely wanted to get at the truth of your relationship problem, it wouldn’t be very difficult to ask for his side of the story and, without rushing to judge or defend, LISTEN to how he has been impacted by your behavior toward him, then you would know exactly what needs to be changed in order for him to start taking you seriously, then you’d at least know where to begin and have a chance to consider all your options. Are you able to approach him with genuine humility and openness, such as: “I feel sad about our distant relationship. Have I done something to push you away? Have I done something wrong? Is there something I can do to repair the relationship? Is there something you believe I should change in order for us to get along better? How can I support you better?” Are you able to listen to his truth and respond maturely to it? If not, how can he trust you and how can you help him?

[brentsaunders79-blog]

Far out

"Allergan CEO fires back on Hillary Clinton tweet."

That is the course by which CNBC titled a social affair between Brent Saunders, Allergan's authentic, president, and CEO, and Mad Money have Jim Cramer back on September 21, 2015. The tweet being proposed, referencing Turing Pharmaceuticals' fundamental cost augmentation of a 62-year-old course of action, read:

Moved closer by Cramer for a reaction to the tweet, Saunders answered, "The model she tweeted about today was only a solitary stunning condition. I think we need to pull back the stunning sort of conditions with what genuinely occurs. Moreover, outline that, we should have astonishing concerning make improvement."

All of a sudden Saunders got himself unequivocally in the particular pathway of presidential real issues and its laser-like spotlight on influencing biopharma for its "inordinate" drugs.

Scarcely shy of one year later, Saunders was in a limited timeframe portion expand period seeing a creation calm investigating fight as heads Chuck Grassley (R) Iowa and Amy Klobuchar (D) Minnesota centered the game-plan concerning base on Mylan at its cost enlargements of the EpiPen. "Mylan and Turing were qualities, and it truly vexed me that an industry so accommodated helping individuals live better lives was being seen so stupidly by people as a last resort," stands up concerning Saunders. It was August 2016, and

Saunders was on the "head attested excursion" he had taken in around 17 years. "On the flight I began considering as time goes industry's help discovering balance between the need to put resources into progress and investigating remedies so they are open and moderate," he outlines. In like way, investigating that Saunders had starting late utilized the verbalization "certain intelligence" to propose this idea of progress, it was while in the midst of a break that he had the decision to crystalize his reasoning. What checks for after is the story behind Allergan's titanic choice to formalize its clear simultaneousness with patients.

Flight Sparks The Idea Of A Social Contract

Much like different heads, Saunders says he envisions that its hard to kill the business bit of his mind during the individual time of an encounter. In like way, the beginning of the particular cognizance creeped into his cerebrum during that first voyage of his family escape. In the wake of ruminating on the thought for the going with scarcely any days, he as time goes on chose to come back to a region of his embellishments at Allergan to hear their assessments.

The epic three on his skilled blueprint were Alex Kelly, EVP Corporate Affairs and authority correspondences official; Bill Meury, EVP and authority business authority; and Bob Bailey, EVP and supervisor announced official and corporate secretary. He picked these three since he figured they could give the most help like stirring up the focal draft of the irrefutable comprehension.

"Regardless, I ricocheted the thought off my loved one, to the degree what she looked like into that it may be gotten," Saunders gives up. Articulating it with her and unequivocal relatives on the idea with like way persuaded him he was on to something. "It was an incredibly huge party, my in-laws, my family, my family and sister and their families. The apparent approval was not the subject of this outing, at any rate there was the spot different relatives shared their positive and negative perspectives on the biopharmaceutical business and what ought to be possible to improve it." As a wide piece of his fervently cleared family work in government need as suppliers, they hear the voice of the patient and most remarkable truly guided it may be to propose a fix that security doesn't cover or requires a titanic level of work zone work and earlier sponsorships.

The key responses of the two his family and work relates what's proficiently set his general idea that the business expected to accomplish more to show all the striking it does. In a short range he on an astoundingly fundamental level expected to refine the idea and put it unequivocally.

Refining And Gaining Support

Right when the focal small gathering from the most positive beginning stage began dealing with the particular thankfulness, the objective was not to make any sort of open explanation. "We began overseeing it less knowing where we would at last take it," Saunders yields. The focal idea was to check whether there was something that could maybe be made as an industry code or possibly depict a kind of standard only for Allergan.

"There was a gigantic level of forward and in switch as we tried to record checks we felt were crucial to Allergan correspondingly as could help depict where we remained on incredibly sporadic and inadequate issues in people as a last resort press," he shares. For instance, one of the district where there was an epic level of pushback and exchange was around the particular understanding's clarification of raising the cost of approaches close to the satisfaction of a patent-limit period. "Express in our industry will everything considered take more cost growthes near the zenith of an answer's life as a structures for dealing with the awkward budgetary effect accomplished by loss of character," Saunders clarifies. While such cost progressions can influence patients, there was some exchange concerning whether these sorts of improvements were fabulously a load on an extremely essential level borne by statement affiliations. "We pulled back that for two or three days at long last concurred the right development, and where we felt ordinarily boggling, was working in a level out responsibility around considering as opposed to continuing on through a piecemeal structure," he clarifies.

Saunders came back from trip close to the finishing of August, suitably, with everything considered the get-together had an unfathomably superior to key draft of the specific accreditation. "It was then that I began to share it incomprehensibly continuously everything considered with the remainder of the Allergan official get-together to get always head evaluation," he clarifies. Saunders undeniably won't have any desire to have a social unlawful relationship meeting yet, as he foreseen that everybody should feel unprecedented talking through what it proposed. "I didn't envision that anybody should feel there was pack pressure, as I was hoping to get especially fulfilling and veritable to life input," he proceeds. "So I began calling every official position embellishment as it were." Due to get-aways, work timetables, and work travel, it took him a few days to meet one-on-one with the aggregate of the heads. Everything considered, their reactions were certain concerning the undeniable seeing with everything considered and how it was made, at any rate there was some talk over when it ought to be coursed. "They responded so perseveringly that I thought perhaps we should simply yield it to the entire association," he says. In any case, before it could be obliged 18,000 supervisors, making the got a handle on finding in a general sense an open report, Saunders expected to from the most concise starting stage award it to Allergan's top managerial staff. "I sent it out to our store up and an obliged time task period later started calling to get their data, which once more, was overwhelmingly positive. As the official organization and controlling body understood the got authentication, Saunders felt the partnership had something that totally depicted the way Allergan (everything considered) felt about the drugpricing issue. "Our following stage was to offer it to our workers and people with everything considered, at any rate we ought to be tense to remain behind it," he clarifies.

An Informal Exercise, Not A Structured Plan

There are a tremendous degree of relationship with corporate worth clarifications; J&J's Credo is one industry-express model. Notwithstanding, Allergan didn't utilize any of those different reports as a model for making its particular information. Truly, Saunders says that when they began building up the certain thankfulness, "We were not proceeding through this to be as being center, and we didn't have a picked yield. We were on an especially sincere level attempting to consider how to memorialize the undeniable attestation, what it proposed to Allergan, and how we could envision that ourselves should overview that." He says that, since it started as a not horrendous advancement, no "fundamental research" (that he considers) was done to show it in the wake of an elective that is other than what's run of the mill.

"I get got a few information about the comprehended observing perseveringly," Saunders giggles. "Heads and CEOs from other biopharmaceutical affiliations expect Allergan had a board — an endeavor plan — and that we occupied with some mindful structure to put this thing out." That couldn't in any capacity at all be satisfactory topsy turvy, regardless. Or of course maybe, he says it was regularly obviously an unconstrained structure put moving by an astoundingly little amassing that by then spread it to the most raised degrees of the affiliation. Right when Saunders offers this to different CEOs and reveals that the entire bunch the whole approach took less a month, they are astounded. "Some have gave that on the off chance that they attempted to do what we did at Allergan, it would have taken months, if not years brent saunders."

[gg-astrology]

Park Jimin: Inner Planet Natal Reading

💕Hello today we’ll be trying to clarify/explain what it is his natal placement implies (and why people call him a demon-- which I disapprove of). As a full Scorpio/Gemini sympathizer I can’t let this go on anymore. We need to appreciate them, and not just for their sex appeal/attractioneither! Today, we love Jimin fully and completely as much as we can! 💕

Other Posts 💕 

Taehyung Inner Planet Natal Reading | Taehyung - Members: Relationship Dynamics

Jungkook Inner Planet Natal Reading

Namjoon Inner Planet Natal Reading

BTS Rapline Mini Analysis | BTS Summary: Mars - Destressing

Virgo Boys (Namjoon - Jungkook) Masterlist

Masterlist (other groups, gg, soloist, co-eds)

*answered asks about BTS members romantic stuff is at the bottom of the masterlist

Park Jimin 

October 13 1995 (Busan, South Korea)

💕Disclaimer: I’m not claiming to be an expert astrologer nor do I know these people personally. These are my interpretations and how they’re working based on my experiences/studies on them. Everyone has different opinions/studies in astrology, please be mindful of others and all interpretation/experiences is valid to an extent. However, feel free to make your own post or skip if you strongly disagree. There might be inaccuracy and difference in opinions. But the point of this post is to entertain and relate. I’m hoping to help people with similar experiences and get people excited about astrology. Also, since we don’t know most of their birth times, I’m using the standard 12.00pm💕

IMPORTANT NOTICE:

As I was going editing this, I realized that a lot of things tends to build up together to show how complex he really is as a person. A lot of the description below is ‘he can be this -at his primal level- but because of this -other thing- it depends on context of what the situation is/how he feels’ 

I’ve tried to clarify it as much as possible, but I just wanted to let you know that the depth of his character can’t be simplified to just these alone-- so please read with your own discretion! I’ve tried my best, and I think I’m happy with the result (for now). We’re going to be chewing a lot, so I hope you have an empty stomach.

  Libra Sun | 19′ Degrees | 2nd Decan Aquarius/Uranus

Let’s start off this Libra season fully loving, and appreciating our local Libras today!

There’s a lot of hype around having Libra placements in ones chart, mostly because it makes one more ‘attractive’

But Local Libra Sun Natives needs some of that love too!

Over-simplification that ALL Libras are attractive because they’re ruled by Venus just makes Libra Natives feels abit nervous trying to figure out ‘what’ part of themselves is this attractive qualities-- this is because all their other qualities are under-looked, especially their hard-working nature, subtle tact and forward working traits (cardinal/air sign)

Least we forget Libra is a ‘masculine’ sign (polarity) and when it’s ruled by Venus --  Libra boys are especially under-looked and hyper-feminized because of association to Venus (let’s not do that anymore!)

In fact, the fact that Venus has this duality to it’s planet is pretty pointing that you can’t gender planets in the context of signs

Libra possesses this duality to them. Rather than shifting or switching between ‘feminine’ or ‘masculine’ they encompass both at the same time

Thus why, they are associated with ‘balance’ and part of the cardinal signs

Instead of limiting/restricting themselves to being at the center of the scale (taking up as less space as possible) they become all parts of the scale (the mechanics as well)

Libra natives might find themselves pulling the all-or-nothing kind of thinking, but instead of gobbling everything all at once-- they swallow things in increments (pace themselves, stead-fast approach)

They’re air signs, and this part of natural inclination, tactical thinking is just part of how they go about achieving their goals

Measurements of success comes from progress (seeable/observable) the shift that it makes to other people’s reaction/lives (noticing the subtle change in other people’s behaviour around them) and planning their next step (setting up/preparations)

There’s ambition inside of them, not for anything particularly materialistic, but rather to fully unfold their own potential and make something out of themselves from the inside out

Like-- there’s this innate appreciation for a certain qualities inside of themselves, and seeing how it affects people when brought out-- as well as how they could potentially take it to the next level drives them on

It’s not like a staggering overwhelming desire for ambition, but rather just a manifestation of themselves outward

That they can control and see to a level of satisfaction

Libra Natives-- rather than letting something fall into their lap, enjoys working within their own capabilities/potential in order to bring that out

They’re methodical like that, in just their initial approach to certain things about themselves-- there’s a sense of self-awareness and understanding to a certain scale here (haha)

Pretty much self-acceptance to a certain extent (standard/level), just enough to motivate themselves to work harder on those things and see it reach it’s full potential

See its not compromising, it’s acceptance. In imperfections (to a certain extent) they’re quick to pick up on these things, be alright with them but see/knows the full potential of what it could become if they work on it.

That’s what they apply to themselves, but also to others at the same time

Everything is one big ‘potential’ --people, traits, behaviors-- there’s always room for improvement and Libras are tuned into that

They can say harsh things, sometimes-- just trying to figure someone/something out, it’s not meant to be like-- malicious or anything, they’re just investigating something out loud and seeing how it shifts/change people around them through the reaction it gathers

It’s like-- prodding something, to see how much give/stiffness it has-- and if it’s resilient to all kinds of change, they just kind of leave it alone

If there’s no ‘give’ at all (again, pushing things into it’s fullest potential-- if it’s already ‘full’ then there’s nothing they can do about it/not interested in it)

There’s nothing malicious about it, but if your Libra friend happens to hurt your feelings (unsusceptible when they’re in this zone) -- be patient with them, let them know and then clarify/explain things to them. They’re learning too, and they’ll appreciate it a lot.

You might want to think of the Libra self-acceptance as this: without the ability to accept themselves they’re never going to be satisfied with what they’ve got, and the ability to really tune in with certain traits of themselves-- that they want to accentuate/emphasize outwardly-- helps them cope with the inherent need to please others and the lack of security/satisfaction within themselves as well

Let’s remember that if you’re using traditional astrology-- Libra is Fall in the Sun. 

It’s not like they’re exempted from the deep need to constantly improve themselves, not feeling like they’re at the top of their ability/skill set yet, or the constant comparison to social communities or those around them either.

In fact, the Libra is so self-critical they tend to feel like they can’t move forward without a certain dissatisfaction with themselves. 

This alertness and grind pushes them to help serve others, or other people who sees the value and motivation in the Libra-- which is what makes them attractive. (awareness, is part of what makes them attractive)

They’re aware of things that matters, intuitively and overlooked in society. At least when it comes to what other people tend to overlook/under-appreciate within themselves. Looking at a Libra makes other people realize the things they’ve been missing all these time.

Whether they’re conscious of it or not-- that acute proactiveness that they have in accentuating parts of their personality/features/skillset is what motivates others. And that’s where attraction comes from. It’s from reflecting things others are missing, in themselves (The Libra).  

Libra is like a self-reflection, but rather than being aware of themselves and things that will personally help them (the natives-- again, Libra is Fall in the Sun) they help other people around them realize/interact with their own skillset/self.

But like a mirror-- there’s no way for them to see that in their own self too (thus, why they still suffer from forms of insecurities/ indecisiveness sometimes)

There’s a difference between mirrors and glass, and Libras are specifically mirrors because they reflect others but doesn’t reflect themselves. 

They’re not like-- double sided mirrors. The things they project, shows and interact with others doesn’t directly correlate to helping themselves sometimes (hence the wishy-washy, indecisive traits)

The lack of transparency (like with glass) means there’s a processing of information that has to go through the Libra (mirror). Because there’s a reflectivity (quality) to them that needs to be translated-- in order to help themselves.

That’s why a pool of people to reflect these things off of (people using the mirror), and gather information from is important.

The more ‘materials’ they have to work with (their interactions they get from others after projection) --- the more concentrated/focused the solution is going to be (for themselves)

It’s like having sea water and the Libra is actively going through the process of purifying/distilling the particles--- separation in order to understand things fundamentally (away from each other) is important, before the overall picture/combination could be understood. 

(Again, part of their hesitant/indecisiveness-- needs to pull things apart and put it back together--- understanding things in term of relativity: Libra Mercury see below)

Observations are made, analysis are linked together several times through edits in order to find a conclusive solution.

The larger the pool is, the more time it takes (and with that comes indecisiveness). But with more materials, comes one singular process of long-term editing.

Imagine if a Libra has a smaller pool-- the materials (people) around them are smaller and the solution is more concentrated, right? 

That’s a good short-term plan, because they proceed forward with that solution and utilizes it until they need to further it (again, fulfilling the fullest potential) -- less indecisiveness, but with that comes stronger opinions/less tolerance for other people’s ideas/ability to emphasize with others fully as well.

Libras at the fullest potential are diplomatic people, but they need the experience/full exposure to large pool of materials in order to do that.

Short-concentrated pool only helps them at the beginning, it helps their ability to minimize the indecisive factor-- makes up their mind faster, proceed with action faster. 

Utilize all the skillsets they have (tact, sociability, engagement, observation, diplomacy) in order to take in new information and proceed with the editing process to their last ‘solution’ (it’s like an upgrade)

Consequences of short-concentrated pool means the Libra tries to manage and control what the outcome/solution to the problem is. To what they already know. 

Libras become increasingly critical of themselves and others, and thus can lead to a long arduous journey of second-guessing themselves, being hypocritical and a few self-sabotages because they’re not expanding their pool of possibilities/solution.

Large pool of materials comes with consequences as well, if they expose themselves too much to materials they have a hard time digesting everything all at once. 

It leads to limitless insecurities, staggering self-doubt and constantly feeling like they’re washed out/drowned out by others around them.

Thus why Libra is the sign of balance, being able to conquer/use both of these skillsets will help them adapt/overcome challenges/difficulties better.

(Not trying to compromise between the two, they need both of these skillsets to work together-- so it’s conquering both of them at once)

They feel a lot, and most of the time it’s not --- like, positive energy. From within themselves-- particularly in the Sun--they’re analytical by nature and are constantly trying to sink in information/synthesize them in order to adapt/utilize them better. For other people, and for themselves.

Libras sometimes find themselves being cornered or stuck in a rut, mostly because they’re one of the most-- deliberate and systematic signs out there. The things they do are concentrated and diagnosed into a system, whether they realize this or not.

Thus why when it comes to -- bigger solutions, bigger picture. They don’t tend to try to overachieve themselves that much into the future (project themselves into the far future-- think years, there’s nothing concrete or rational to stand on/climb to)

The balls they pitch are hard and fast, aimed to hit a certain spot and it’s strategic (for them-- artistically placed). 

So when it comes to loosening up their arms and trying for an outer-field pitch, they have a hard time understanding how to do an arc/curve to push it further into the future (like see everything manifest so far into their future goals/life).

Because they’re so thorough with everything right now (currently/present day->relatively close future) a lot of the intimidation that the years brings (far future) can also pull out insecurities in themselves as well.

Stability is something inherently wanted in most signs, and in Libra it’s there in their subconscious

It’s instinctive, to want stability in their life. Which is supported by how rational they seem to be with their methods/process of getting things that they want in the world.

Everything they climb and find potential to do-- is all for the sake of stabilizing themselves in the future. (Counteracting that fear)

Libra as the natural ruler of Venus find themselves using diplomacy and sociability as a way to garner respectability and up-hold their footing in the future.

Work hard now so that you can take in the scene in the future

(They’re never going to stop working, but being able to afford a little luxury is part of the goal here).      

Venus as the ruler of Libra adds a distinctive trait to the sign (much like how other signs can be contextualized/accentuated by their natural ruler for better understanding of their traits as well)

It shows how social relationships are served for other’s benefit more so than the Libra themselves sometimes (in terms of personal benefit-- they have a desire for it, and a need to serve it’s cause-- but for what?)

Sure, there’s the profit they gain from responses and being around others as well (collecting pool/material) but it’s almost 80-20 on how people-serving everything is (whether they realize this or not-- they inspire people more than they inspire themselves sometimes)

The energy is split if you look at it from an outsider’s perspective, the Libra Natives goals are focused, pin-point accuracy and concentrated. Yet their impact and effect on others are diverse, varies and on multiple different levels.

It’s not just skin-deep, it’s also on a level that has to do with personal motivation, goals, integrity and social conduct/habits as well. Libra’s focus has a range/impact on others more so than they tend to realize.

They’re an astoundingly motivated sign, although they have their faults and falters-- they always try their hardest/best to learn more and discover themselves as best as they can.

I hope you can see these traits reflected in Jimin. As a Libra Sun, he inspires others more so than just the attractive charm that he has. He’s motivational, inspirational and socially-serving.

He has his personal struggle, seeks empathy within others and within himself, but ultimately tries to drive himself forward anyways.

He faces consequences and fears of the unknown (future/small-large pools) his own internal struggle and motivation to build his own ego (Sun) and esteem up. 

He wants stability in his life in the future through future social relationships and upstanding skill-sets he accentuates within himself.

He drives forth and pushes his own focused, concentrated traits/skill-sets in order to collect material pools from people-- and use that, ultimately to conquer himself instead of choosing between one or the other (of what he wants to do)

Again, like all Sun Signs-- these struggles will come time and time again for us to manifest, see and face ourselves. 

Jimin has to learn, over and over again, how to fully feel comfortable with all the mechanics, and technical aspects of his Libra Sun in order to fully realize and feel comfortable within himself as he ages (and changes comes and goes)        

Aspects

Sun (Libra) - Trine - Moon (Gemini) | 3′ Degrees

Aaaah what a good dude

Wanted to emphasize, after all the heavy foundation stuff earlier-- on the better traits in Libra as well.

Jimin’s more soft-spoken nature (his shyness i guess??) is a part of his charm, it’s a combination of his Sun and Moon (Libra and Gemini) working together to fully think an idea through before he expresses it to others (like in bv3 ep. 3 --where he’s hesitant to share about his composition on camera until it’s fully hatched out)

Deliberate tactfulness and uplifting charm is a part of this aspect as well, which is why he’s so refreshing to be around (and considered to be part of the mediator/glue to the group-- this air-combination within him allows communication to rapidly pass between others in his social circle-- but not necessarily within himself/asserting himself.

He only clarifies and mediate, but doesn’t assert himself into the scenario necessarily)

When his ego/need (Sun) is combined with his emotionality/desire (Moon) -- he finds himself wanting to express himself more because it fuels his need/desires (both at the same time-- Sun-trine-Moon).

This makes communication a big part of his ego/goals (Libra/Gemini- air), and thus he works harder to be better at it (emphasis on learning languages to connect with others, difficulties comes from challenging aspects/Mercury rx-- but let’s quit the ‘jimin hates us’ jokes, he just wants to express himself well but he has a hard time doing so because it’s so personal to his desire/need)

This also means he wants to verbalize/express his better traits as well, when you have a lot of air in your luminaries (particularly with Libra-Gemini who are more sociable of the bunch) there’s a distinctive need to have some sort of stimuli/affirmation from others in order to fuel themselves (as a stimuli, something to bounce off from, externalizing themselves outwards--_

(Libra- sociability, in the sun it’s a need to be perceived-well by people they respect/admire, respectability is a pretty prominent deal, Gemini- mercury, wants to hear others say it verbally in order to re-affirm their affections/sentiments, self-connectivity as well as emotional gratification)

With air combo (especially in a trine) the natural affinity to serve others (communication/sociability) through their own skillsets/capabilities (like acting as a wire between channels) may become more prominent/enhanced because of this aspect (because it’s their luminary)

Since it’s in a trine, the natural asset/self-assertion becomes something the person themselves may lack awareness of (mirror reflection: see Libra Sun above)

Thus-- the responses they get from others helps them see this part of themselves, (re-affirmation but also guidance/mirroring back)

And that’s why it’s so important for them to get this reaction from others because it makes them happy to get certain things right

Having this air-air combo also helps him with externalizing/emphasizing with others because it’s in his luminaries (Libra desire, Gemini emotionality) he’s quick to point out other people’s experiences  (not necessarily good traits, just their genuinity through what he’s observed) and making a point to communicate other people’s experiences to an audience (public or a smaller groups of people: more as a prompter-- so the other person could retell the story themselves/mention it briefly-- instead of a story-teller)  

It’s a part of his charm, he’s more lovable because he’s able to communication/self-express his needs/desire to others as well (not for others, but to others--like his whining, unintentional aegyo and general playfulness that Jimin has)

Air signs have that charisma to them that makes them responsive to others, but also moodiness when they’re not open to receiving new information (*context is important: in situations where information in this case, doesn’t serve them well-- especially in the Moon (hurts his feelings), or if his Sun is agitated by someone (pre-formed opinions)

Because his Sun-Moon are aspected, he can find himself expressing emotions that comes through faster (such as anger, self-righteousness, intolerant of ‘selfishness’) and tends to expresses things in one big burst of verbal explosion rather than let it drag on for too long (from a social group he’s not that invested in/familiar with)

When things gets to him (short-term explosion/irritation) he can tend to sort it out through sharpness (wit) and being blunt/straight forward (*again, depends on context-- usually he’s nice and compassionate)

This is with the intention to reflect on another person’s emotionally/consciousness/integrity (Scorpio Venus/Mars) as well as just a reminder that this action (or inaction) shouldn’t be taken (again, self-righteousness- Libra Sun)

BV2 when he told Tae off for letting JK clean up alone, that’s a good example of how Jimin tells people off.

When he himself is nagged at-- Jimin can tend to find it harder to emphasize with what’s being told-off about emotionally (gemini-moon), thus playing up the ‘ok ok i won’t do it again’ but not fully understanding where the frustration is coming from (say compared to more receptive water signs like Hoseok or Yoongi)

He understands it logically, but in order to truly change (like how he directs his anger/intention on other people) he needs to have that emotionality (not built, but found within himself/locate inside) that comes from feeling truly ashamed of himself for it (if it’s not self-imposed by his own self-worth/understanding)

Thus why it can be a bit harder to get to him (*in certain context, he’s usually an empathetic and emotional person already-- Scorpio Mars: see below) it serves as a natural barrier as well.

He’s able to redirect and communicate what he potentially wants to achieve/fulfill/‘feel’ at necessary moments-- often with tact and through discretion -- showing that he’s graceful with maneuvering and expressing himself with sincerity to others (forthcoming) .

With an air-sign combo he has a need/want to think things through, fully, in order to express them out well. This is because he wants to do well.  There’s honestly nothing complicated than that (again, direct and forthcoming)

The end result matters to seeing his progress (Gemini Moon) and ability to affluent/reach out to others. (Libra Sun) It fuels him inside (personally) that much.

Thus why he’s a good communicator between the maknaes and the older members in the team, and part of why he seems responsible. With this innate need sated, he knows his positions and what he could use his potential to do for the team. It gives his sociability a purpose (Libra Sun) but also fuels him emotionally as well (to an extent-- a certain emotional gratification for his Gemini Moon)  

He’s easily more co-operative when offered the opportunity. Even if he doesn’t necessarily ‘feel’ up for it-- he’s going to try his best to use his rational/logical thinking (Libra Sun) to make sense of things anyways (’it’ll come in handy later’)

Anyways let’s talk more about the good stuff

Having his Sun and Moon trine doesn’t just means he exerts himself/his desire/needs easier than most (compared to like, opposition or squares who can have a hard time even identifying what they feel/need at all) --Jimin makes clear what his distinctions are, what he approves of and what he disapproves of-- it serves him to be respectable and seen as somewhat ‘level-headed’ in his larger circle (outside of his group/members) as well.

He can quickly read people, assess their motives and integrity (Gemini/Libra)  and also assimilate himself easily to them (communicative and playfulness) when he approves of them

This adaptability/changeability to his character (Gemini Moon), as well as assertiveness (Libra Sun) makes him high key such a nurturing person to be around-- but in a way that’s less serious/heavy and more willing to co-operate than others (say like a water sign in the luminaries)

Like after his initial ‘threat’ assessment, and when he adopts/adapt to someone he quickly picks up on things they lack and provide support for them in forms of co-operation, motivation and verbal affirmation (things he uses for himself/his own fulfillment as well)

Thus why he learns/adapts himself naturally to others-- with Yoongi, with Jungkook and with Hoseok.

He learns what they lack/need and what they project/desire (outwardly) supports them in a way that’s co-operative to them (for their own benefit).

With Yoongi and Jungkook-- their Virgo traits/strong placement, it’s catered to helping them with things they lack, or want to get better at or acknowledged for. With Hoseok who’s more about needing tactile support (Taurus Moon) and Taehyung who’s more about familiarity/stability (Capricorn) -- Jimin learns how to adapt to these people he’s ‘accepted’ and quickly utilize his skill-sets/capabilities to co-operate and provide for them (in order to gain stimuli for himself as well.)

(highkey-- sometimes, especially with double air signs luminaries-- there can be an over-exertion of themselves for others that they tend to lose sight of themselves too.

This nagging feeling of moving/changing too much and not feeling connected to their core/initial values stresses them out--it demotivates them, allows the deeper part of their psyche to come forth and be more vulnerable during times. Thus why Gemini Moon can tend to shift away from things in order to find that ‘inner connective-ness’ again.)

Having this particular Sun-trine-Moon combination (Libra Sun/Gemini Moon) may also come with a shift of moodiness and over-compromising themselves (again, over-exertion of co-operation) -- especially since Jimin is the one who’s usually laid back or at peace with himself in these instances (esp. in social context/interactions) he can tend to be too accepting/giving too much to others around him with less discretion (deceived, once he ‘accepted’ them-- or taken advantage of sometimes)

Sun (Libra) - Square - Uranus (Capricorn) 

Stubbornness, present in both Libra and Capricorn. But more so than that is critical.

Being particularly critical of others around him, especially when it comes to being doubtful -- he can tend to low-key side eye people sometimes even if he keeps his mouth shut about it

Because Libra and Capricorn are present here, he is somewhat tactful of what he says/put out-- but with both Cardinal Sign there’s also an assertiveness/directness to how he expresses his desire/expression (won’t stand down-- makes for a sassy person unintentionally)

The kind of person who smiles tightly and nods but you can tell they’re clearly displeased with something because they just exudes it (Sun-aspect)

If he doesn’t want to do something, he can be pretty adamant about it. His expression/discontentment is absolutely readable to others especially if it’s something that has to do with his personal values (Libra Sun) integrity or social standard/change (Capricorn Uranus)

On one hand, with that Capricorn Uranus he has an understanding/sympathy for establishing things externally (socially/ so social structure) but on the other hand-- he absolutely won’t tolerate any threat/imposing on integrity/personal freedom-rights of others (Libra Sun)

Basically just imagine a bitchier, more aggravated Libra Sun side eyeing you with their arms folded, about to chew you out.

It’s refreshing because it’s direct, you know exactly when they’re displeased with something and you can kind of link it to what their personal integrity are (social balance is being ‘threatened’ by your choice of action, usually)

He sees flaws in others (Libra Sun/Mercury-Gemini Moon), and wants others to challenge their own way--- yet at the same time he remains stubborn in his own -- it can seem kind of hypocritical/self-righteous sometimes.

Despite not wanting to appear attached (‘too sentimental’) to things that ‘dont matter’ (things he’s not personally/emotionally invested in) he can sometimes be insensitive to other people’s feelings as well (best example: see Jimin-Taehyung and what they fight about/difference in interests --- but still managing to come together in the end, confronting their own faults/pasts)

This --- semi-hypocrisy (not wanting to commit fully to rebellion but wanting others to do it at the same time) can lead to a lot of passive-aggressive tendency, defensiveness or aggravated need to dominant others to be seen as ‘right’ sometimes.

It’s about wanting others to change but also wanting to be in control of themselves (of others) and of the situation at the same time.

Like as much as it’s about ‘not rocking the boat’ or whatever -- it’s also about keeping control of their life and things they can do (which sometimes over-extend or spill onto others/trying to control others as well)

Keeping a schedule, being on top of things, not having any ammunition another person can use against them (personal flaw) and remedying those flaws (see: when he works out so extremely in order to be ‘attractive’ around debut) helps expel their nervous energy/anxiety/stress but also lowers their defensiveness (not spill onto others) as well.

It’s also posing some difficulties to him in terms of -- learning languages or connecting to others at a cultural level? - because he understands things intellectually-- but occasionally not emotionally -- sometimes learning/connecting to others (Uranus) can be hard to establish for him.

There’s desire for sure, for his job, to be capable of talking to another and communicating himself/coming off well-- but at the same time he’s faced with challenges inside of himself on multiple fronts (this one, and also Moon-opposition-Jupiter below) -- so it might take time to turn this around.

Truly if he tackles this and tries to input some creativity, personal touch, inventiveness into his approach (to learning language/others-- like, what drives him on personally-- in order to learn this language, outside of the necessity for it in his job?) it’ll serve him well to be more adaptable/spread out evenly as well.

Sun (Libra) - Square - Neptune (Capricorn) 

To get weirdly specific: Capricorn representing the father figure in the house of Neptune shows some idealism/expectation that may not reflect on reality for Jimin of himself (as a father, we all know we talks about being a father/family man sometimes)

We all know Jimin respects and admires his father greatly. He mentions him all the time, on variety show (Knowing Brothers) on his birthday (when he got the bouquet,etc.) he has a clearly positive image of his father and it’s reflective on how it affects his own expectation/inner self (Sun) as well

His father plays a role in who he is today, but because his Sun is in a square to his Neptune-- a part of it can be hyped up or be a little bit exaggerated (a little self-delusion) that he might have to truly confront this when he wants to reach a reality with himself (like, expecting himself as a father-- he’ll be a great father I’m sure, just that certain problems might be totally unprepared even though he thinks he’s thorough/prepared-- Libra Sun/ego-self confidence) as well.

Anyways, Sun-square-Neptune also talks about having certain expectations for himself that’s beyond reality of what he is/has. Something that is inspired by comic books, novels, web-toons, etc.

In terms of his drive/ambition-- it certainly helps him reach beyond what is ordinarily expected or someone. Possibly, reaching out to become an idol/dancer in the group is part of this Sun driving his Neptune to fulfillment.

Which is why sometimes it feels totally unreal or out of his own personal limit-- Neptune talks about subconscious, and seeing it actually becomes reality causes a bit of dissonance inside of himself that he has to confront sometimes.

Emotionally, and just-- the connective-ness of reality to his dream-scape is differently perceived. Thus why sometimes, to not overwhelm himself (through confrontation) he might find himself repressing certain things in order to truly let it sink in/cherish it later.

Remember when Jimin asked Namjoon to re-affirm that ‘billboard is something not anyone can just go to right’ (prestige/beyond the dream) -- he’s the type to suppress things a little in order to process them (Capricorn Neptune -- has to somewhat be functional in reality even if it’s their biggest dream)-- but later, with a glass of alcohol in hand, he probably has to Go Through It alone or with someone close to him in order to truly understand how it’s really reality for him as well.

His Sun (Libra) and the need to please others when aspected with Neptune also points to a possibly tendency to rely on bad habits in order to help himself. Whether it’s his initial extreme diet, or him being particularly hard on himself (Burn The Stage, just last year)

Even small things like just drinking on the regular or staying up late in the early mornings -- these are considered part of the ‘bad’ habits that comes with the activeness Libra (as an air sign) has over his need/desire.

Because Neptune brings escapist and semi-self destructive behaviors even if it’s used in moderation or for celebration (drinking for example) there’s always the susceptible harm of it escalating into over-compassing his life if he’s not careful.

This is because it’s aspected to the Sun, as part of his ego/sense of self when there are blows made to those reality/dreams he can become incredibly sensitive and thus defensive/aggravated at the same time (think: Jimin-Tae fights, Taehyung tends to be brasher than Jimin even though Jimin is much more directly aggressive/aggravated -- thus, with Jimin’s Sun in Fall -- his ego can tend to take a more emotional hit than Taehyung does sometimes )

Gemini Moon | 15′ Degrees | 2nd Decan Libra/Venus 

A lot of people give Gemini-Libra placement a lot of crap but for what??

Expressiveness and supportiveness is one of the Gemini Moon’s best traits!

Honestly there’s no one else more supportive of you than Gemini Moons-- this is because there’s an innate need to learn/understand others, but NOT in a way that’s detrimental to themselves so it’s healthily supportive

Having a Gemini Moon makes a person much more accepting of co-operation between people, rather than like-- a mess of egos clashing, they’re one of the few True MVPS who will not bat an eye when it comes to actively helping others out if they care/approve of them

Let’s just be clear, that a part of what makes them healthy is because they exert their autonomy/independency across everyone’s face FIRST-- really upfront about it, like a ‘take it or leave it’ kind of way--- and if people can accept that and respect them for it (especially if they have their own independence too)-- they’re all in with sympathizing and supporting others as well.

They can be coy and shy about it, like a touch-and-go kind of vibing others out if they have certain placements leading up to that (like Jimin, which contributes to their ‘flightiness’ I guess)

It’s not antipathy on their part-- it’s just, they gotta make sure you can accept multi-faceted-ness/you’re not shallow as well.  

Gemini Moon with a Libra Sun are the type of people who sits with you when you’re down and rub your back for you

They’re also the type of people who will make faces with you (supportive faces, expressive) and motivate you/support you when you need them to

Because Gemini Moons (ruler Mercury) are rather fast-paced (whether they realize this or not) they’re quick to motivate you to get up off your ass and do something if they feel like you’re wasting time with a pity party that’s unnecessary

Blunt-- and straightforward are their best traits, at least when it comes to their own opinions, thoughts and feelings.

But combined with Libra Sun | Mercury, there are times when he is more soothing/supportive in a way that’s not as --- abrasive

See, Gemini Moon is the way he’s quick to point out how other people makes him feel (when it’s positive)

It’s also when he soothes them, typically through skinship or falling on top of them (like what he does to Namjoon-- stick his face close to him, or pull his cheeks)

It’s how they show affection, because believe it or not they’re quite affectionate people

Proud affectionate, it’s not exactly the sentimental kind but rather the extroverted/outwardly proud expressions of affection for another person?

With Gemini Moon it’s not soft touches or slow soothing words full of sentimental affection (Capricorn/Taurus) -- it’s comfort with someone else, being confident in themselves and maneuvering others to fit them the way things are supposed to be fitted.

That’s what proud affection means, like they’re proud to be seen with you and they’re proud to show off your relationship. Whether it’s subconscious (touchy) or not

There’s just-- a certain confident that they exude to relationship that gives it strengths. They’re the type to do things so nonchalantly (again, true MVPS) but touches others in a way that they’re oblivious to

Small things like holding someone’s hands, might mean so much more to introverted person. Or just being able to accept different opinions, when others tell them how grateful/appreciative they are of them-- the Gemini Moon is genuinely confused because ‘that’s literally basic stuff??’

They can sometimes be oblivious to their own strengths, or the aspiration they give to others (slow moving people, earth signs) -- mostly because they’re at a pace that is different and doesn’t tend to notice these sorts of thing.

It’s a good thing, but that also means some of their problems are harder to understand (different wavelengths) to others as well (like to earth signs, some water signs, a few fire signs)

What people don’t tend to realize/understand is that Gemini Moon also has lows. And they tend to be harder on themselves -- just as much as Capricorns, Virgos, Leos and Scorpios.

Because what they exude, how they act/say is categorized (stereotyped) by some people as ‘shallow’, the deeper parts of the Gemini (+ the different wavelengths at the beginning) tends to lengthen the rift even more.

Causes a lot of misunderstanding, especially since they’re partially confused/hard on themselves as well.

The deeper part of the Gemini (as its symbolized by a set of twins) is mercurial, cunning and sometimes a lot more paranoid

Because it is harder to control, and Geminis are supposed to go through constant change (versatility) coping with these traits-- amongst others potentially powerful ones (hence harder to control) can overwhelm the Gemini easily

Thus why sometimes Gemini Moon may seem so confused and contradictory inside of themselves-- it causes this deeper part to be repressed (when you don’t know what to do with all that) and thus-- sometimes the ‘lows’ tends to last longer than the ‘highs’

Repressing their deeper part (out of fear, out of not knowing how to start understanding them/fear that they’re going to use it for evil) means snubbing that part of them out in order to keep the happy, upbeat front.

That’s not the case, the repression causes their change cycle to stop. It causes a lot of harm to the normally versatile and changeable Gemini to go back into themselves and can suffer from longer lasting ‘low’s and self-destructive cycles even more

Everything has to come out, especially with the Gemini. Including learning how to wield and balance between the two parts of themselves.

Because the ultimate goal is to change (go through cycles) by balancing both at once (at the same time) only the deeper part can bounce the highs, and only the highs can make the deeper part more tolerable (to the Gemini themselves)

Much like how they treat people/world around them, the Gemini is forced to treat their own subconscious the same way. This can be parrying for the Gemini (because it tends to be a bit blunt/brutal emotionally) but it leads to certain self-awareness that can be used to improve, if they’re not fraught or fearful of who they are (during the backlash).

Gemini Moon-- when unable to cope with the depth of their own ‘low’s starts to question themselves. A lot of nervous energy (mutable/air) leads to paranoia, but also lowered self-confidence and vulnerability in the Moon.

They start noticing these things about themselves, their disorganization, their inconsistency, their superficial means (again, self awareness that comes from being forced to confront their subconscious) but they’re aggravated/frustrated with themselves about it-- and tends to verbally put themselves down

It’s like-- they put themselves down because if they do that first-- it gives them some sort of control. Other people can’t put them down because they already know all their flaws, but that’s not a thing they should be focusing on.

It comes from a place of deep-rooted fear, somewhat paranoia. Gemini Moon has to watch themselves not to make a habit of manipulating others, themselves or the situation-- because they’re only going to be self-critical (harder on themselves) even more when they realize what they’re doing. (A cycle that’s not necessary and only self-destructive)

It’s not self-deprecation at this point, it’s self-destructive because they rely on this cycle to keep them going/moving. And when the cycle is tainted by their feelings/bad thoughts -- they constantly engage in a systematic flaw that would recycle all their self-awareness/self-critical, paranoid nature right back at them again.

Cleaning out the system helps, learning how to tackle things-- stop the clog and totally do a deep cleanse of their entire cycle would help a lot.

With the Gemini, it’s not just a matter of ‘oh ok then i’ll just run away from it/drop it’ it’s a matter of actually sitting down and thinking/pushing ‘what can i do to make this better-- long term goals’ and self-motivation

Think of it as like, borrowing some Sagittarius trait in order to help their own flaw. Opposite signs tends to help with balancing each other out, so borrowing some of the things Sagittarius has/deals with would help the Gemini understand what it is they might need to implement/change to get back on track as well.

Gemini Moon also seems to have varying interests; sometimes one at a time and other times-- all at once.

With Jimin in particular (Libra Sun|Gemini Moon) it’s about social consciousness combined with pure curiosity/inquisitiveness.

Because Gemini Moon can tend to bounce from things to things, the emotional aspect of wanting to put 100% into something versus their lack of motivation serves as a problem.

It causes delineation of the mind that tries to compartmentalize emotionality away from logic-- in this case, it provides tact-- but also serves to make understanding himself (empathizing/loving himself) a lot harder as well.

When your emotions (demotivation) is separated away from the logic, you find yourself pursuing things on the principle of curiosity and ambition ( both air signs when combined accentuate these traits-- curiosity/Gemini, Ambition/Libra)

He might find himself having multiple enthusiastic interests in topics/subjects that helps him uncover answers he’s interested in. Discovery is a big part of this curiosity, it satiates his needs/desire to an extent.

This excitable and passionate drive, that is in combination with personal ambition (to potentially become more socially conscious)-- makes him seem like a confident dependable person, reliable and independent even if it doesn’t feel that way all the time.

Having your emotions separated from your logic can have certain benefits-- but for long term goals, as well as what really matters-- it might not serve to give him the satisfaction he needs (emotionally) nor will it help him empathize/pursue his true desire/need (social consciousness) on a level that he wants to be at (is supposed to be at)

See, when things are separated-- it keeps the person from a distance to their goals. That distance, emotionally and desire/need-- will make adjustment hard to pursue once they reach the end.

It builds up an ego that finds themselves confident and proud, yet the core of the problem is still unsolved. These tiny misalignment frustrates the Gemini-- so close to being who/where they needed to be-- and tries to force themselves to align without going back to fix the core of the problem.

Again-- it’s just, cleaning out the clogs. Geminis aren’t the type of people who are going to ‘sweat the small stuff’ but these ‘small stuff’ are things that they need to deliberate on, and truly conquer/swallow up in order to get to where they want in the end.

That’s why they’re self-destructive instead of self-deprecating, self-deprecating signs deliberate too much on the small stuff that they don’t tend to move enough. Gemini doesn’t deliberate enough on the ‘small stuff’ that they breeze through life and then go through a cycle of frustration with themselves (self-destructive) when the ‘small stuff’ comes to bit them in the ass.  

Personal freedom in the context of who he is/what he provides socially is important to him

With Gemini Moon-- their creativity/emotionality input can come in spurts so having control over that-- autonomy/freedom is important to them

Because it’s not consistent as like, a Capricorn or some other signs-- they have to create that control/freedom/space for themselves to work the way they do best (their own style of working) in order to feel conductive and not like-- they’re working any lesser than anyone around them (which is important to their self esteem as well - Sun-moon aspect)

Because they understand that things can come and go (without their control sometimes) they can react pretty temperamentally to themselves.

Again, Gemini Moons don’t get talked about for their lows and highs, which is actually a crucial part in understanding what Geminis go through specifically (we place the blame on Scorpio, or over-simplify it as ‘flightiness’ when its not just that)

He’s fully capable of staying committed, that’s not the issue here. Geminis (when they are committed to something) have an abundance of power/surge in order to fulfill/understand it completely.

It wasn’t about-- figuring something out and then leaving it, that’s not Gemini (that’s lowkey Aries). It’s about being able to create a ‘space’ for themselves within their commitment where they can let the ebb and flow of their emotionality run independently-- without feeling like it’s imposing on other aspects of their lives.

Like say a relationship, Gemini Moons can commit. When they hit their lows, they might need time/space to work/operate independently/work different than when they do in their highs. Doesn’t mean they switch from people to people -- it just means they need that-- space, for autonomy. They can be trusted, and they should be trusted.

Understanding and acknowledging that people do have drastic high-lows are important, and those who can accept this side of them (see; Taehyung who has his own struggle with Capricorn Sun | Aries Moon dynamic) helps the Gemini Moon immensely in staying committed in a relationship without feeling like they’re stifled or being pressured into something they’re not ready to give (which is-- honestly, kind of abusive cause?? you can’t force someone to give up something they adamantly don’t want to give up/autonomy-space in this case-- what the fuck??)

Gemini Moons are capable of pouring everything they have into something they place value in, and it’s not-- it’s not all or nothing it’s just-- an investment in their part.

Think of it as like, building layers. You pour one layer of your feelings and wait for it to dry, come back again and pour another layer so everything is set and stable and ready. Instead of like, everything sinking and being uneven-- by waiting for things to dry (going away for a hot second) everything becomes more even and stable.

That’s how they approach people/relationship and interests as well. Because ultimately the things that bothers them the most is their inability to fully concentrate on something for long-period of time even if they want to/know they have potential for (Scorpio Venus/Mars)

With Jimin it’s almost like--- he identifies himself with this Gemini Moon but he also finds it hard to cope with all the faults/difficulties that the placement has.

It’s like he’s not-- aware of all the hurdles he just crashes into it? If this was a hurdling race, he’s the one who realizes there are hurdles but doesn’t get through all of them without crashing a few down (or all of them-- sometimes, when he’s feeling extra vulnerable/self-frustrated)

It’s mostly just-- difficult aspects to his Moon itself (see below) besides that one fantastic Sun-Moon trine earlier that’s bringing a bit of self-awareness, it’s like tempering him or teasing him by not allowing him to fully handle/tackle these foreseen problems

(theoretically, he gets it. execution/applicability wise, he’s frustrated with his inability to deal with it.)

Let’s talk about some of the good stuff sdkjfns

Jimin actually makes a lot of silly faces in photos and this is part of the Gemini Moon being able to express themselves. (concert photo, chuseok 2018 photo)

Gemini Moon helps sharpen his keen wit, but also easily pick up on other’s mood and tends to tease others alot (see this gif of the recent iheartradio show and the gcf in newark when he teases Jin)

His analytical ability sky-rockets as well, with aspects from his Sun-Moon-- he can tend to read people easily and verbalize his own emotions/expressions outwards as well.

Feeling what he feels is a different thing all together, sometimes its like he soundboards/steam things out to figure out how he feels along the way (in contrast to water signs-- who feels things first and verbalize it outwards. This is like, talking things out to figure out how he feels.)

Because there’s a natural nervous/worry that they tend to carry with them, they tend to get restless when they’re doing nothing.

We know Jimin stays up later than normal, and he likes to read when he has the time (or play games). This is attributes of the normal Gemini Moon restlessness-- it makes the individual read, talk and think a lot more when it’s in their Moon.

This restlessness isn’t like a Virgo however, with Gemini their domestic scene can be a bit more scattered than what the typical Virgo would have placed their restlessness into doing. While Virgo is focused on doing something with their hands (mindlessly) for their environment because it helps them relax.

A Gemini is focused on the self (they share the same ruler-- Mercury) and while their living situation can be a bit looser than Virgo (a good sign since a Virgo cleaning means they might be stressed out about something else) they tend to put some effort in keeping things messily organized -- at least for their own benefit.  

Jimin as the glue of the group-- can provide for the team in what he knows (intellectually) as a need rather than feeling like they all need it.

Get-togethers and heart to hearts, without the influence of Scorpio Venus involved (*depends on context) can tend to be geared towards productivity and helping people rather than what they want to hear/need emotional support for.

There’s a natural buoyancy (again, combining their highs and lows) and quirky optimistic attitude that comes with Gemini Moons

Even if he’s feeling all sorts of lows, this natural attribute will still come through -- it serves as a fuel for misunderstanding, because other people tend to think ‘oh its a one time thing’ or ‘oh its not that bad’ (it is, you shouldn’t take someone at face value all the time as well, not everyone is the same-- and this is just how the Gemini Moon copes, please try to be consistently conscious of their feelings even if they don’t show it!!)

When they’re in their ‘lows’ sometimes they’re irritable, this means they snap at people with vicious words (mercurial sign)

But just as easily they’re often too afraid to even confront others when they’re in their highs. (due to their own insecurities ‘oh if they’re not saying anything about me then maybe I shouldn’t say something about them?’ again-- selective self-aware of their own flaws)  

Because of this double air placement, there’s a natural tendency to cope with humour (verbalizing their needs/feelings) even if it’s dark or stark sometimes (at themselves and with unfortunate circumstances-- to lighten up the mood)

Libra’s diplomacy is accentuated by the Gemini, and Gemini’s emotionality may tend to make him quick to reach out to solve things for others, or help smoothen things out because ‘rocking the boat’ (strain/conflicts in the norm-- disruption) amplifies the uneasiness his Gemini feels (nervousness/energy-- Sun-Moon aspect-- dictated by Libra’s need that is amplified through this aspect)

Because of this heightened need to please-- there’s also some disillusionment/idealism (Sun-Neptune aspect) along with the ability to ‘play roles’ for others or become completely detached (again-- emotionality separated from logic)

It doesn’t help with the frantic trying to figure out their own self-awareness, or identifying their individuality (especially with the Sun in Fall-- ‘weak’ sense of self) -- figuring out who he is when he’s not pleasing people and what part of him is his ego/individuality can be hard. Specifically finding balance, and conquering both the sides of his Gemini makes it harder.

There’s nothing wrong with learning from others, or taking information from others in order to build yourself (Libra sun- social relationships) and figure out who you are. Working with what’s already given is fine-- there’s nothing terminally wrong with the conduct of neither Libra nor Gemini.

It’s just a matter of cleaning out the clogs, making sure the equipments and system is squeaky clean. It can be hard, but by doing so consistently and constantly, he can gleam what he needs to reap in the end.

Don’t be frustrated with yourself if you have similar problems, or share the same placement/problems. Don’t hate yourself for your own traits, and don’t think that you can’t possibly push yourself to be the best version of yourself because of all your ‘flaws’ (like indecisiveness, inconsistency, etc.)

Change the things that needs changing-- that is, the oil you use, the system you’re using. Do a deep cleanse once in a while.

Think of it like this-- a clock is working perfectly fine with all the mechanics it has. It just needs tweaking sometimes, an extra help with a screwdriver on a loose nut, shaping of the system, minor part replacements. You only need to change one tiny thing in order to make everything work-- nobody goes around dismantling random parts.

(Change the things you can change, not the traits that you have basically-- learn to maximize it instead of just living with it/pulling yourself down because of it-- be a little more ambitious with yourself/your own self-confidence internally, instead of just for external things-- if that makes sense.)

Aspects

Moon (Gemini) - Opposition - Jupiter (Sagittarius) | 3′ Degrees 

One of his tightest aspect (without the birth time therefore, no angles we know of), which is also not helping his Gemini Moon and Libra Sun.

Because the Moon is part of our securities (how we feel secure/insecurities in our lives) having opposition aspect to Jupiter (Sagittarius) tends to dwindle and weaken the self-esteem/confidence (luminary-personal self/inner sense of self).

It’s like waiting for the ball to drop, for something to go wrong and people to barge in arms up in flames with whatever it is you’ve done.

It’s a feeling of constantly watching your back nervously (Gemini) and having your feelings/sense of self questioned and doubted by the public--- even if the majority of this feelings are imaginary scenarios sometimes.

One bad circumstance can have a long lasting effect on a person. The psyche (Moon)  can sustain this trauma for a long time, especially since they’re trying to be more self-conscious/aware of what they put out/what they do-- in order to not evoke the circumstances again.

When the personal Moon is in opposition to Jupiter, there’s a restriction placed on their hopes/dreams, that results in in-productivity of their tangible work/outcome (what they put out in the world/not exploiting their own full potential because they’re afraid they won’t be enough)

It strengthen indecisiveness, but indecisiveness is littered with self-doubt, and insecurities that comes from not thinking they’re good enough or not doing enough compared to others.

Things they hold personal/dear to them, things that fuels their self-confidence (in this case, his creative output/expression) tend to be worked on tediously (bv3 when he mentioned song writing to Namjoon) yet has a hard time coming out because the self-esteem/sense of self (Moon) suffers from thinking about their own potential/reach/public reception (Jupiter)

Jimin doesn’t release a lot of solo projects himself, but the effort he puts onto them are enormous. His emotional value to them are also deeply personal, the reception of others around him (again-- remember, air signs) are so important that he feels muddled.

Is it actually good? What will other people think? Is ‘good’ really good enough? All these decisions and muddled feelings leads him to possibly believe he might be unable to think clearly about himself, or evaluate his own work without emotions reasoning his logic (in this case, being too prone to separating the two serves as a factor in furthering this rift)

Being personally involved and emotionally invested in something scares him, for the first time it’s almost like he’s putting his own self (Moon) out there for the public to receive (Jupiter) -- and the fear of them hurting, the fear of not being ‘good’ enough or just ‘enough’ --is enough to make him second guess himself.

It’s not like he can just-- ok yes, a part of it is just him placing himself on a platter for the audience to take what they will from it. But with the Gemini Moon (and Libra Sun) he gains something/feels something from it as well.  Both of these prospect -- of laying himself out without expectations (good will) and the emotional responses he knows he’ll receive from it (internally/personally) scares him so much.

Overthinking, anytime during the process drains his energy. It demotivates him, Gemini Moon already works in a cycle and staying tedious/aligned with their cycle only serves to make the ‘want’ to work but ‘low’ part of their cycle even harder to bear. (self-frustrations, waiting “pointlessly” for their block to be removed again-- again, leads to separating emotions from logic to ‘motivate’ self)

Having Moon-opposition-Jupiter causes his vulnerabilities to feel even more exposed to him, like other people can see where he flaws at and increases sensitivity to his own emotions.

However it also causes him to be particularly protective over his vulnerabilities, in order to control this deeply personal emotionality he tends to give a lot to others (benefit of the doubt) -- even if it results in deception or being taken advantage of, at least it’s hurting on a part that’s NOT something he already feels insecure about (diversion of pain/vulnerabilities).

It’s a tactic that recycles hurt in case it happens, expecting things to hurt shouldn’t be the go-to method.

It’s not going to help him tackle how to be more forthcoming, or cope with his vulnerabilities better. Learning how to deal with this, and do his own thing with all of his vulnerabilities (not cutting it out) can help him conquer this aspect.    

Also, having this aspect in opposition and considering the Gemini-Sagittarius sister signs, he can tend to be ‘too much’ of something

In this case it’s probably too giving to others, or being too generous sometimes to the benefit of others more than himself.

Giving too much away is accentuated when Gemini-Sagittarius are aspected to each other, especially with Sagittarius Jupiter.

Moon (Gemini) - Square - Saturn (Pisces) rx | 3′ Degrees 

Another challenging aspect, even though it’s squared, the prospect of this adds onto the earlier section (Moon-Jupiter)

When their inner self/emotionality feels vulnerable, it becomes protective/defensive of itself (Saturn)

This can lead to emotional distance from others in order to protect themselves, which if used chronically can lead to a general mistrust of those around them

Social relationship is important to Jimin, it fuels his Sun (Libra) -- but if he feels that he can only trust others with certain things about himself (burnt too many times) that fulfillment will have a difficult time truly manifesting

Thus, it’s a blow to his self-confidence/esteem as well. His Sun is already in Fall, when it comes to accepting compliments/genuine words of encouragement-- he tends to disregard them in lure of his own personal feelings (burn the stage; when he thinks he messed up)

It’s kind of like, when he becomes personally attached or feels vulnerable about something (in this case, his artistry)--- he’s overwhelmed with emotions for them he can tend to disregard others (selective hearing)

He’s quick to pick up on the wrongs or constructive criticism, but when it comes to compliment it’s hard to come by when he’s in this state (*again, context matters-- he isn’t like this all the time)

It makes the value of compliments/encouragement when he’s NOT vulnerable all the more valuable to him, but ‘fueling’ up on compliments isn’t going to help him resolve the issue of not listening to other people during his low-- it’ll help with balancing him out, but it doesn’t solve the issue.

Moon-Saturn manifesting in a person also shows some stiffness in reciprocating or totally showing vulnerabilities/affections with others sometimes. Most commonly it’s just-- not knowing what to do with it or how to reciprocate, abrupt movement and sometimes side-eyes.

As much as he tries his hardest to remedy this when he’s in a healthier state of mind, it might just come down to how he resolve the problem at it’s core as well.

Again, accepting both his duality will help. Instead of looking for short-term method, it’s about really reaching into themselves and fixing this by deep-cleaning their system (internally-- but not changing their core, just their system).

Sometimes Gemini Moon has a hard time just going back to do what they should do, and tend to try to resolve things moving forward only. Introspection and active work on their internal self would help a lot -- not everything has to be externalized or worked out externally all the time (*again, context. In this case, we’re talking about balance-- learning how to not be afraid of the inner depth/stop running forward into their outer ones-- balancing those two out)

Most of the problem with-- receiving genuine affections in these state of vulnerabilities comes from high ideals and standards (conditions) on what’s acceptable of others and themselves-- in order to feel like they ‘deserve’ to be complimented for something they put their heart onto.

Sometimes, unconditional love for themselves is harder to understand and demonstrated within themselves. Thus why, they can be harder on themselves and doesn’t know how to make it better without thinking ‘next time, I’ll do better’ (it becomes a cycle of ‘next times’ and that’s not-- that’s the self-destructive cycle again.)

With Jimin-- the emotionality and logic separation also serves to emphasize his rational thinking/mind as well. Although he prides himself in this (which is good! he has an affinity for it with the air-combo) he has to realize that it could only become a toxic defense-mechanism when he separates the two from each other.

Rigidity and inability to emphasize with others (out of fear that they themselves will get burned/not understand themselves) causes him/others to feel even more frustrated with the situation.

It can’t be good to resolve anything long term, by resolving both the Jupiter and Saturn aspect -- he can fully learn how to take the reign/control how he works and how he deals with things better as well (not the outcome, that wasn’t the problem in the first place. It’s how he handles things that’s the problem-- fear of expectations, fear of misunderstanding or being ‘too much’/’not enough’)

By really applying himself to reach out and truly expect more, work more (courageously) in putting himself out there and combining the highs+lows together (learning how to keep buoyancy) -- his natural positivity in Gemini Moon can truly relish, flourish and overcome anything (challenges) sent on his way.  

This aspects also adds to his insecurities with feeling neglected (Libra Sun/Gemini Moon) and needing reassurance (praises/self-encouragements)

Unlike Namjoon who shares the same aspects but with different placements-- Jimin’s air combo makes him verbalize it more, and his core inner need for social relationships (Libra Sun/Gemini Moon) when in harsh aspects to social planets (Jupiter/Saturn - Sagittarius/Pisces), creates an emotional/personal fear (Moon) that is terrified of the world around him-- reflected in himself (Sagittarius/Pisces also talks about duality-- the lows and highs, reflected in Gemini as well-- so this is about self-acceptance).  

It was never really about-- needing others reaffirmation, although those does help. It was always about being self-encouraged and self-secured.

Enough to pursue his social relationships comfortably. That’s why he can be a little bit shy, a little bit more reserved and nervous around strangers. There’s always that-- fear, and stubbornness in him that might have to be talked about.

Libra Mercury (rx) | 5′ Degrees | 1st Decan

OK let’s take a break from all the heavy stuff skjdfnkjn

Jimin’s Libra placement is so interesting to talk about!

Libra has the potential, to fully embody an ability to mold themselves ‘emotionally’ to those around them,

Mimicry -- but more than that, because they are able to fuse emotionality and intellectually with others (both at the same time).

They’re intellectual signs who knows the way to understand people is to sympathize with them.  

Compromise and being flexible in attaining emotional sensitivity at least to a certain extent.

They’re like all the logic-based signs, but with the emotional intelligence to imitate water-signs.

With Libras (Namjoon as well) they tend to think in terms of relativity-- so certain things being comparable to something else in order to make sense of the world.

That’s why they can be poetic, or somehow has the ability to be tactful while imposing their thoughts/ideas on others at the same time.

Their directness comes from discretion within themselves, with Jimin-- it’s because he has a harder time not showing how he feels (even if sometimes he’s misinterpreted) his speech is somewhat more calculated to be ‘safe’ more so than Namjoon is-- because this is his natural defense as well.

Because everything is relative, there’s always the need to have a certain foundation to base their ideas around or bounce off of from. Thus why, Libra Mercury may find themselves seeking knowledge and intellectual conversations in order to expand themselves outwardly as well.

The abundance of things they have to learn is no problem for the Libra since they’re motivated (cardinal) to gobble them up, however the plethora of choices and ‘potentials’  can sometimes overwhelm them psychologically/emotionally and tire them out when they take in the scale of everything (thus, stagnancy/avoidance/procrastination).

Particularly with Jimin, who already has Libra Sun | Gemini Moon, his indecisiveness combined with this Mercury in rx makes his ‘stagnancy’ even more prominent sometimes (hesitancy, somewhat passive-aggressiveness, wanting to dominate others to control variables/outcome-- also just general clumsiness when his brain is farting sometimes).

If he’s NOT on top of the situation/outcome (thus working on it immediately or being proactive in participation) he can be prone to just laying around and letting the dread/anxiety eats up at him (thus-- motivation through fear of stagnancy, into Doing Something in order to control his fate/situation instead-> domination of others sometimes)

If he’s not being functional then he’s being dysfunctional, again that’s the all or nothing kind of deal with Jimin.

(thus why we should appreciate him more when he makes progress into reserving his thoughts/thinking and becoming more adaptable to progress instead of this initial intuition he can tend to fall into)  

Libras have pretty high-expectation of themselves, of people and of society around them. Because they carry their idealism with pride, they want to implement these ideas into reality through themselves as well.

Jimin wanting to be a police man and then a pirate and being inspired by the things he reads/takes in (Gemini Moon-- intellectually, emotional gratification) is indicative of this idealism he has about him.

But with high-expectation (because they always want to reach that ‘potential’ to the fullest with their skillsets) can come an urge to feel overwhelmed by a lot of things in the overall scope as well (time wise, and expectation wise).

Not only that, his Mercury here is in retrograde. Manifestation/difficulties in seeing progression in his vocal abilities and the way he verbalize stuff can be frustrating to him sometimes

In this case, it’s having too much tension and thoughts. Because his Moon (Gemini) governs Mercury (natural ruler) but it’s un-aspected

On one hand, he’s exempted from the emotional hardship his Moon brings (to an extent) but on the other hand-- he can tend to be pretty hard on himself when he’s thinking so much (Gemini Moon) and not feeling like he’s good at verbalizing/verbalizing enough.

It’s kind of contradictory because on one hand, he wants to see his potential to the fullest (Libra Mercury) and on the other hand, he doesn’t know how to achieve that (self-doubt as well, Gemini Moon)

Even when things are un-aspected, when reading someone’s chart they can tend to inform each other in a linear way? Rather than crossing each other and making that connection, it’s more like each placement has it’s own problem that activate another.

In this case, when he finds frustration with his Libra Mercury (thinking/mind/verbalization) his Moon comes into play (Gemini Moon) and certain aspects from the Moon makes the problem worse (Moon-Jupiter, Moon-Saturn)

Libra Mercury - Scorpio Venus | Verbal Affirmation of Affection/Caring 

Wanted to say that, even if his Gemini Moon is being a Brat (aspect-wise) the Sun-Moon trine definitely contributes a lot to his overall lovability.

Like I mentioned earlier, Gemini Moons are uplifting supportive people. Their general positivity and upbeat-ness helps those around them, combined with Libra Sun’s strong desire to reach out and connect with those around them (self-exert) -- these two alone already makes him such a kind and caring person at his core.

With Jimin’s Libra placement, he has a strong Scorpio (actual water sign) in his chart, he can fuse and inherently understand/emphasize with stronger, forceful emotions.

Passion, drive, love, will and things he cares deeply about (or should) he have deep and often true feelings for.

Trust, friendship, loyalty and sincerity is something he’s learnt through experience and bond (from social relations with friends, family up bringing, etc.) to cherish and understand deeply.

At the same time, softer, more light-hearted or inexperienced emotions that he hasn’t thought about before is harder for him to comprehend.

He takes time warming up to these emotions and may resort to using his Libra Mercury in order to retain some kind of relativity (again, understanding things in terms of relativity) in his approach when dealing with someone he has this topic of conversation with.

He often appears at least intellectually adept and quick to accommodate them (Libra Sun) but ill-equipped to fully realize or understand what exactly the person is coming from (minor Cancer/no apparent Pisces) -- leaving his Gemini persona (Moon-emotionality) to mold itself into satisfying/imitating the ‘idea’ of the feeling for now.

This might be why he feels like he’s living a lie sometimes (given, the song shouldn’t be taken too seriously/personally), but it’s not-- it’s mostly just a Gemini Moon badly aspected thing, not every Gemini Moon goes through this though!

The fluctuation of his Libra, between the intensely compassionate Scorpio and the mercurial but versatile Gemini makes for a deep character who has an ability/potential to truly connect to someone on an emotional level (deeply empathetic) --yet has a hard time talking about themselves (their own emotions)

There’s no such thing as a  ‘middle ground’ but Libra accommodates this (not rocking the boat too much)

There are positive things that comes from Libra Mercury in rx, don’t worry too much about it!

(It’s mostly the self-doubt, from Moon-Saturn that’s truly fucking him up)

Aaah also-- giving gifts to others? such a Libra Mercury thing (especially with Scorpio or earth placements)

See, part of it is indirectness. Like in terms of expecting something from someone else and when they don’t get that-- they get really huffy about it

They expect dedication and loyalty from people, especially effort put into social relationships as much as they do

Verbal affirmation, nonverbal affirmation-- anything that shows them that other people care about them (Libra) and is paying attention to the little things as much as they are (effort put into social relationship) makes them preen a little.

But because they realize themselves that sometimes they don’t follow through with saying what they mean (when they expect something from someone else) they try to show that they care through material means.

It’s like-- a counterattack on their indirect-ness. Is to give gifts to others which can be an ‘effort for social relationship’ as it is as well

Especially with Scorpio placements, who wants stability and intensity (genuine affection) -- sometimes giving others gift is a form of therapy for them. It’s both a declaration and an inquiry-- can the other person understand the value of gifts other than it’s material quality? Can they match them in showing affection/feel fulfilled?

Aspects

Mercury (Libra) rx - Square - Lilith (Cancer) | 3′ Degrees 

Jiminie tends to hold himself back a lot, even if we don’t necessarily see it on broadcast.

He says things that needs to be said, becomes conscious/tactful of what the impact of his words are doing to others, and tends to pull himself back from verbally expressing everything he thinks sometimes

Particularly his natural frustration, anger, or other self-expression that isn’t “broadcast friendly” but is, you know, a natural charm he has that resulted in it being cut back on as well

It’s mostly just-- some parts of his insecurities and social expectations from himself. He treads on the cautious side of things (Cancer Lilith) because formalities and familiarities matters.

If he has certain control, even if it’s at the expense of his own ego being cut back or his own self-expression not being fully realized in the public-- he’ll do it.

This doesn’t really help with his insecurities or comparing himself to someone else, it might play a small part in learning languages as well.

Because he errs on the side of caution, practicing and using language even if he pronounces things wrong makes his insecurities even more profound.

He’d rather just play it safe, rather than throw himself into the risk of making mistakes/embarrassing himself because of his own incapabilities (personal ability and capabilities is a big thing with him)

It doesn’t help with his Mercury in retrograde because it might make him compare himself to others around him, particularly Namjoon who also has this Libra in Mercury

It’s not-- it’s not jealousy, it’s admiration but also self-awareness and hesitance (Libra) to explore new things, or new parts of himself.

Lilith makes one want to have more ‘guidance’ in one’s life, so relying on someone else as an example of what’s supposed to be happening, or is “healthy” is part of what this aspect might do

On the other hand, Mercury aspecting Lilith also points to someone who is charming with their words. They know how to attract people, and in this case-- show that they care/charm them (Cancer Lilith)

It makes him more nurturing, at least verbally and expression-wise. He shows/demonstrates that he cares for others, even if inside he might be a mess sometimes.

Scorpio Venus | 4′ Degrees | 1st Decan

Although Scorpio is detrimental in Venus-- you can’t deny that Scorpio Venus tends to have a charismatic appeal to them

Most prominently in their stage presence, their self-expression and art-form/beauty shines when they’re focusing on something they love.

To all the Scorpio Venus out there, having this placement doesn’t simplify you to just ‘magnetic appeal’ and all the other stuff-- you’re so much more than that.

In this house, we appreciate Scorpio Venus’s hard work they put into their craft/whatever they do (feel passionate about)

Having Scorpio in Venus can be beneficial and good for the individual too even if it’s detrimental sometimes

Scorpio-- ruled by Mars and Pluto, works hard (physically) and wants to see transformation in whatever they put their work into.

They never want anything to come easily to them, because if it does-- then that’s highkey sus and they’ll try to find something wrong with it (investigative)

That’s why Scorpio is detrimental in Venus-- because Venus expects things to come naturally, with ease, harmoniously. But Scorpio’s here like ‘no that’s sus, whats the value?’ (this is a part of it, there’s more but just to keep this concise we’re going to just leave it at that)

In a way, it’s give or take. On one hand, they have to learn the value/lessons of Venus here-- which is to be content and comfort by what comes forth to them harmoniously

If they don’t, they’re going to find themselves never feeling like it’s enough, or never thinking like they’re enough for others (Libra/Venus- social relationships).

It’s going to cause them to stew inside of themselves (Scorpio- fixed) or move onto the next big ‘challenge’ in order to figure it out

Transformative, in this case, means constantly moving even they feel themselves reach some kind of ‘stagnancy’

With Jimin especially, because his Sun and Mercury is in Libra (ruler Venus) it causes the divide to be even more frustrating to himself (thus, enforcing this ‘rift’ in the Moon even more)

It’s just a lot of trying to figure out what to accept when it comes to himself, other people’s compliments and harmonious attitude-- and his own struggle with wanting/needing to do more to please/attain more from others as well (Scorpio Venus and Libra Sun-- Libra Sun is fueled by social gratitude and relations, while Scorpio Venus social relation tends to pursue/want to do more for others at the same time)

Sometimes when receiving compliments, especially with that Moon-Saturn-- he might just go ‘oh. It’s ok.’ because he might think he needs to do more  (Scorpio Venus) to achieve those compliments/reception everyone has for him (conditioned values given to compliments)

Which is why it can be hard to truly, sincerely compliment him when he himself feels like he need to do more to achieve that level of recognition/admiration from others (Scorpio Venus-- always wants to do more in order to ‘receive’ more)  

Ultimately what the Scorpio wants is to be self-satisfied/fulfilled. Feeling like they stretched the limit and came out victorious.

It’s that sense of-- grinding hard for what they want and not accepting anything less for themselves, having a certain standard and pushing it, reaching it and feeling awarded for it.

It’s self-contained in a way, but at the same time when it’s in Venus there’s also a need to share these accomplishment/victory with others (Venus).

The self comes first, before anyone else (self-acceptance/feeling accomplished inside of himself). If there was something else in his chart like Sagittarius or Pisces it might point to others becoming a bigger influence. But considering Jimin’s placements-- if he doesn’t feel self-satisfied with himself, none of the recognition would truly sink in.

Anyways, on the other hand. Scorpio Venus has certainly helped him achieve his dreams and artistic goals.

Without Scorpio’s motivation and drive-- a kind of passion that comes with tunnel-visioning themselves into what they love, putting tremendous love and effort into things to make it ‘personal’ -- his craftsmanship and artistry probably wouldn’t flourish as well as it does today.

It brings precision to his overall placement, a tediousness that comes with practice (Scorpio Mars as well)

Scorpio’s persistence in achieving their dream combined with Libra’s perfectionist streak (if not handled properly can be detrimental and self-destructive) makes a deadly combination and impact on Venus

It pushes the planet of self-expression, of craftsmanship and beauty and social relationships to reach the impossible.

Venus-- although whining to be content on what they already have-- ultimately benefit from this Scorpio’s drive and goals.

Seeing how far he’s come from just learning how to dance in middle school, to being supported/helped by his teachers and parents, to finally being part of BTS-- and doing this professionally-- Scorpio Venus certainly helps fuel his self-confidence to an extent.

At the same time, the duality of Scorpio should also be touched on. They’re a mix of self-deprecating and also self-destructive. And because they fuel his Sun to an extent (Libra ruler of Venus-- Libra Sun/Mercury)

He might find himself associating his ‘good’ days to his performances, social interactions with others and placing value on himself for his Scorpio traits more so than his other placements (or confusing part of his Libra to his Scorpio sometimes-- muddled together)

It’s not a bad thing, Libra Sun do drive/work best when social climate/relationships around them are going smoothly. The problem here is Libra’s perfectionist streak combined with Scorpio’s need to find value/break limits.

Because they’re so intensely passionate about something, they tend to put a lot of value on it. The downfall of this is that their lows are really low-- emotionally low.

Jimin’s already an over-thinker, trying to find a solution to a problem that sometimes wouldn’t be solved through intellectualizing something (or by doing something).

His intellectual low/demotivation/lack of interest sometimes (disassociation) from his Gemini Moon ---and feeling emotionally stagnant/low (Scorpio placements) -- adds depth to his character, but also makes it a steep ravine to climb up from (intellectually and emotionally-- which affects him in other areas of life, possibly psychologically/physically as well).

The problem here is the downfall, reaching the top of the peak by any means possible Scorpio can be prone to falling back on themselves/relapsing into stagnancy again-- and that part scares them

Because Scorpio -- as much as they transform, always have a purpose/goal they rush from point A -> B and may find themselves seeking inner stability by controlling the output/exterior environment.

De-stabilization or hitting that stagnant low is part of what makes them feel deeply within themselves (dwell in their mistakes-- again, Libra Sun/Mercury perfectionist streak vs. Scorpio Venus need to achieve)

That’s where Venus comes in, trying to teach it a lesson in balance and learning how to handle the stagnancy.

While Scorpio might prove to be helpful to his Venus, learning how to accept/conquer and utilize his Venus fully will help him balance them both out at the same time.

Like I mentioned earlier (in the Libra Sun section)-- it’s not about compromising, it’s about conquering both. That’s where balance begins to happen-- and he has full potential to fulfill it.

Also, Scorpio Venus are very committed people (fixed sign/water) whether they feel strongly for something, or if it’s just by principle-- they stick by it through to the end.

Loyalty and faithfulness -- to themselves and demonstrated in other people’s action (consistency/integrity) is important to them.

That’s why he reacts intensely to selfishness or inconsistent actions, he doesn’t understand why other people can’t commit as hard as he does (or well, at least he understands it on a Libra level-- but emotionally, sometimes he’s filled with rage yknow? Especially with Gemini Moon who’s fully supportive of everyone until they’re smite/wronged)

When it comes to social relationship-- and putting effort into others-- he gets really riled up by people being spited/wronged for terrible reasons (there’s also a reason with Scorpio, but this is felt emotionally rather than intellectually-- with Jimin, it’s probably both)

Sometimes-- it’s hard for any Scorpio placements (especially in Mercury or Venus) to truly express how deep their emotions/values run.

It’s hard to translate it outwards? As much as they suggest it, or put so much effort in demonstrating it to others-- not everything gets pulled out.

It’s a part of transformation, like from inwards to outwards. It’s a personal struggle, and something they have to learn how to do throughout their lifetime.

Also, Jimin’s precision and ‘knowing his angle’s/body-line when he dances? That’s Scorpio Venus tenacity.

If they can control the outcome (usually through practice) then that’s an external stability to them as well (reassures them, sees progression, hard work paying off in their crafts)

Aspects

Venus (Scorpio) - Square- Uranus (Capricorn)

Sometimes seeking stability can come as a challenge to him, particularly when it’s tested against ‘the rest of the world’

He might feel like his creativity, self-expression or innovativeness is challenged by other people’s ‘better’ idea-- which is all part of self-doubt.

Dissatisfaction with himself and his efforts,  particularly when it comes to his craft which leads to fear of showing the fruits of his efforts later.

As much as he wants to establish himself (which he can work through definitely) there’s also the challenge of doing too many things at the same time

Gemini Moons (particularly with air signs from sun to mercury) makes him want to excel at many areas he touches on, but Scorpio Venus here wants to put his 100% into all of them as well

And that’s just-- that’s just draining sometimes. When he tries to categorize and systematically (Libra Mercury) put 25% into different areas of his life-- in hope that it’ll reach 100% in the end--

That might’ve contributed to feeling demotivated faster, or struggling to work through a particularly difficult problem/challenge in his artistic ability/expression when he’s trying to save his efforts for something else

There’s no doubt that Jimin would probably want to be a perfectionist in all of his crafts-- from dancing, to performing, to singing, etc.

But the problem with working out a system in which he has the time-- or motivation to do things properly (in his eyes) is hard to come by

Remember that one vlive where he said he’s frustrated with himself, and wanted to take a year off just to practice singing

Yeah it’s a part of that

Venus (Scorpio) - Trine - Lilith (Cancer) 

A great aspect, that definitely alludes more to his undeniable charm

To be honest, Jimin embodies a lot of magnetism in him because he has a combination of Libra (Venus ruler) and Scorpio that are kind of contradicting each other

As in, his Libra is in the areas where it’s not strictly ruling (unexpected charm/kindness) and then his Scorpio is in the areas where Libra would’ve possibly worked better ruling (surprisingly forceful affections)

The combination of this might’ve contributed to his allure, which is then magnified and possibly amplified by aspects to Lilith

Venus-Lilith aspects usually demonstrates a lot of inner depth to their person, especially from the perspective of those around them

With it being in trine, and his Lilith in Cancer-- it helps people feel like he’s truly more empathetic and there for others-- more than what his air-placements makes them out to be

Venus in a trine aspect here attracts others to him, in a way that truly feels like all his intensity (Scorpio Venus) is being used to connect to the other person

He readily accepts the darker side of their persona (Lilith) but also has an understanding/awareness (to an extent) of his own darkness as well (Scorpio/Libra)

It should be worked on, still. Because even if it’s in trine the Lilith can be hard to manifest/foresee completely

This Venus-Lilith aspects also creates depth to his feelings, it’s complex because it’s for a lot of different types of relationships.

Because he’s so committed and magnetic, and generally just a good person who gives others the time of the day (as well as staying dedicated/focused on them) -- he makes other people feel special, and that’s part of what the complication starts (like, being ‘flirtatious’ or ‘leading people on’ etc. etc. )

As fans, we know how Jimin pays special attention/dedication to the details. He makes sure to take care of the members in ways that are personal, he doesn’t have to go the extra length but he does.

That’s why part of his jealousy, or his whining/sulking (with Taehyung: about his Hwarang casts) is a by-product of his dedication to someone-- he wants them to feel reciprocated back (Lilith)

Maybe not to the extent of what he does for them, and he probably doesn’t even want to be shown in the same way (again, acceptance of others and of himself-- including personal style/flaws-- Lilith)

Any kind of reciprocation is accepted, but there has to be genuine effort and sincerity put into it (which is why he’s so affectionate with the members)

Scorpio Mars | 24′ Degrees | 3rd Decan Cancer/Moon

Relentless practice, especially when it comes to things he puts his minds to/feels strongly about.

Whether it’s academics (air placements-- Libra Sun/Aquarius decan-- being creative fuels him) in the arts, in his physicality (attractiveness) or his singing/dancing abilities (expression/craftsmanship)

Nothing ever comes easily to Jimin, not even popularity and sociability (he’s shy remember)

Thus why, when he has things he feels like he could exert himself into (physically/by doing) and able to achieve great results because of it (fuels his Sun/Moon-- social consciousness)  -- there’s a sense of pride/joy and personal identity with this placement (a natural affinity/fondness for it)

Not only is Scorpio a natural ruler of Mars (co-ruler along with Aries, if you’re looking at trad. astrology) his Mars placement here has some of his strongest positive aspects that helps him counteract some of the hardship he’s faced (in earlier aspects)

It’s also part of the reason why he tends to be passionate and meticulous about the things he exerts himself into, because it has such a positive force in his life (and is working great) he can tend to use it/apply it to a lot of his other problems as well (challenges with Libra Mercury/mind thoughts and communications -- getting out of a creative funk, emotionality, figuring himself out)

An obvious example of this Scorpio Mars is how much effort and concentration he puts into practice-- we know Jimin works tirelessly at his craft-- and it shows

Physicality and embodying even the smallest details (pulling movement through to his fingertips, being conscious of his angles, being aware of himself physically) is a part of Scorpio Mar’s tenacity, but it’s also the emotionality (emotional attachment/values) he puts/placed into developing these traits that makes it special

To Jimin, his Scorpio placements are probably a part of his pride-- Mars especially, because it’s something he can actively work on and figure out-- it’s something he can improve on and be good at-- and this probably fuels his Sun’s usually teetering ego into something more solid.

It offers a place to meditate on his efforts, a cathartic placement where he can just push and do what he needs to do in order to improve everything in his life as well

That’s why when it’s his vocal ability that makes him question himself (Libra Mercury rx) he can’t exactly figure out how to transform or work with it emotionally as well as this Mars

Technicality takes realm in Libra Mercury, but with this Mars there’s an easier mix of emotionality in the concentration/work flow he uses-- a part of it is because it’s influenced by the Cancer/Moon here as well

Scorpio Mars, when in the decan of Cancer may exhibit a sensuality and allure to their movement that is mesmerizing to witness

They’re fluid, both Scorpio and Cancer are like water surface tension: it can ripple or it can break, it can smoothen out in waves. It depends on what’s being applied to them

Same with Jimin’s movement, there’s a more balanced nature to his Mars

Cancer gives Scorpio forcefulness in it’s movement-- but also subtlety. The hard exterior shell (defense) to Scorpio’s tumultuous storm (offense)-- and a shared compassion (Cancer) and depth (Scorpio) that he can use to emote his performances as well.

It’s not just performance, it’s also his long-term goal and ambition as well-- partially it’s his reactiveness (like, natural instinct?) to just tackling new situations (ones he hasn’t experienced before sometimes)

With Jimin, it’s always with a positive optimism (Gemini Moon/Libra Sun) but the Cancer here also soothes out the naturally suspicious Scorpio

He may still be critical of other’s performance (like, analytical and give constructive criticism) --but he’s much more aware of other people’s feelings/what they can take (read the atmosphere/act appropriately) -- he won’t be too harsh on someone, not unless he’s provoked to feel that way

Like one of those people who put 101% into their craft, but with others they know they can’t force them to do the same-- so they’re generally supportive but dependable to others

It’s also a part of why he tends to take on the care-taker/big brother role in relationships, to Taehyung and Jungkook especially (with the age hierarchy) but with his older members as well (Namjoon, Yoongi, Seokjin)

With Jimin there’s an ability to read certain clues off of people, particularly their body language (Mars) or their self-expression (Venus) sometimes even their facial features (Moon) or the things they aren’t saying (from experience -- Gemini Moon/Libra Mercury-- relativity from experience but also quick-witted-ness)

As kind and compassionate he may be, he’s still striving to fully embody a certain self-satisfaction/self-fulfillment inside of himself-- particularly in his skills and his work ethic

He has the latter on lock, but Scorpio Mars here tends to make individual quite critical of themselves as well. When things truly matter to them and they feel like they’ve messed up, Cancer decan in this Mars makes them emotional-- and much more prone to crying

Because he identifies (and has aspects) to this Mars, and it’s influenced by Cancer/Moon-- he may be quick to cry when he’s sympathetic, misunderstood, frustrated or faced to confront someone he cares about (Gemini Moon-- quick reactions, but backed by real emotionality because of this Mars even if it isn’t fully understood by the person himself)

Basically, he’s probably a stress-crier when he’s truly overwhelmed with something or someone. It helps him function better.

Since he strives to find perfection in himself (Libra Mercury/Moon-Saturn) he usually finds inspiration from others around him whom he views as ‘self-sufficient’ themselves

That’s usually Jungkook or Namjoon  -- depending on what context it’s about (singing/song-writing/composing)

They share a similar chip on their shoulders, which is mutual self-decrepitation and externalized vulnerabilities of their own pains/flaws/weaknesses

This softness to Jimin is singlehandedly part of Cancer decan and how his Scorpio Mars is working in his chart-- which is, pretty powerfully.

Whilst Jungkook tends to be more vulnerable from his Virgo/Leo Moon and Namjoon is more active from his Libra Mercury-- they aren’t afraid to express their vulnerabilities outwards (compared to the other members) in order to grow stronger/gain strength-- which is probably one of the benefit that comes out of decrepitation (*if done through the gears/view of getting better, not for the sake of itself)

See, it’s because they share positive/uplifting placements as well that’s why they’re able to bounce back and recover.

Decrepitation in this case is just expressing and showing emotions, and fully being engaged in it before they come back and tackle life again.

With Jimin it’s his Gemini Moon (upbeat, quick, witty) Jungkook’s Leo Moon (needs to stew a little, but comes back with strength/positivity) and Namjoon’s Sagittarius Moon (muses things, introspective, serene but also tries it’s best to externalize a happier attitude for others)

The difference between Jimin to Jungkook and Namjoon, is that he’s made up of air placements on his front (luminaries + mercury) and therefore tend to overthink/over-analyze the problem much longer than the other two usually do (coming to a conclusive result).

Mutable signs/placements actually tend to do that a lot, Yoongi does this too (abundance of Pisces-- mutable) and those with mutable in their charts (Jin and Namjoon -- Sagittarius) may find themselves working on past mistakes tirelessly in order to figure out an ‘end’ to everything (wrap things up, ties lose ends)

It’s part of being the ‘jumping point’ modality into the angular signs (next sign over from mutables->Aries, Libra, Capricorn, Cancer) again-- especially if they have angular signs in their charts along with mutables (Jimin, Jin, Namjoon, Jungkook) tying these ‘loose ends’ is a part of fueling their angular’s power-- so it may seem like a thing that needs to be resolve (from the mutable side).

Imagine those classic Mario pipe games-- you walk along the platform (fixed) until you reach the ledge (mutable), if you can’t jump from the ledge onto the next platform (angular) you fall into a pit and wait for death to ascend upon you (it’s not like that-- but visually, it makes sense for this scenario/context).

So jumping at this point becomes a necessary thing, and that’s how mutables probably sees it (thats why they have a ‘movement’ to them, to help utilize it in order to make a successful jump onto the next thing -- and that’s why you can also jump above the enemy in order to escape them --‘flightiness’ to not confront any dangers)

With Jimin-- it’s probably like being stuck between two angular ledges (Libra Sun | Libra Mercury) he has to make one jump (mutable/Gemini Moon)-- so concentration and deliberation here is important, that’s one way to look at the placements here

With Jungkook (just to contrast) is like making two jumps (Virgo Sun | Virgo Mercury - mutable sign) and that’s like, not helping his nervousness one bit. Jumping is hard, in this game-scenario/realm it’s like jumping off a cliff.

You don’t do that shit mindlessly, you usually want to be sure it’s a safe spot to jump off from and that you’re gonna land ok (in water or something-- please don’t try jumping off cliffs!)

Anyways going back to Jimin, because he’s constantly plagued with an expectation (from himself) to do well (Libra Sun - sees it as an chance to do something great but also cautious/nervous at the same time) -- he may take more time deliberating on certain stuff instead of acting on it

If he hasn’t practiced for it, that automatically reels it into the overthinking realm (Libra Mercury/Libra Sun -- his expectations and his mind calculating the probability/views others have of him) he wants to perform well, almost flawlessly (Scorpio Venus/Mars) so his other placements have to back that up as well.

It’s co-operation between his placements, lifting one another up in what they want to do and excel him.

Scorpio here is the idol/the main star, it wants to win and it wants to do well. While Libra/Gemini is like it’s manager/agents who keeps a look out for things it could do (sometimes-- a million and one thing)

The strength of Libra really shines through when it governs the head of house (Sun, Mercury) because it listens and wants to collaborate/co-operate with his other placements without pride in itself (weak ego-- sun in fall)

That’s part of why the Venus and Mars combination in Jimin (Libra, ruled by Venus in his Sun-Mercury, Scorpio ruled by Mars/Pluto in his Venus-Mars) balances itself out, there’s enough pressure/give on both sides that they can work well together-- and thus, part of his magnetic appeal

It’s like he has a natural potential/capabilities to conquer these placements already and truly be his fullest self-- it’s just the complications (Moon-Jupiter, Moon-Saturn, Mercury rx) sometimes that needs to be understood and resolved, just like anyone of us-- that makes the journey a little more worthwhile in the end (again, Scorpio-values)

Scorpio Mars here also makes him receptive to physical affection, but his Libra Sun/Mercury helps him instigate them (much more than Jungkook who’s still a bit nervous about owning his physicality sometimes-- or rather it’s like, a general nervousness about his appearance/self occasionally -- Scorpio Mars-Virgo Sun/Mercury).

(Jimin doesn’t suffer from this because his Scorpio Mars/Venus are owned better -- aspected better than his air-placements)

Mars in this case, learns (bodily, through routine) how to show tactile affection. From the influence of Libra and Gemini’s gifts.  

With a general Libra-ness to him, and his Scorpio Mars in Cancer decan-- he’s easily swooned by people who seems capable and has an easy affection to them (makes his admiration known)

However, like earlier section-- these needs to be reciprocated at some point. Because Scorpio Mars in Cancer decan can easily make their scorn known if they felt like they haven’t been treated properly in a long time.

Their affections are easier given than earned (self-assured/self-empowered - Scorpio-- own’s willingness/power to drive themselves forward-- thus, they decide if they want to give you affection and they are in control of that decision here)

When Scorpio Mars are in their elements (exerting themselves more than their other placements/comes to the forefront) they are self-confident individuals who seems to draw people to them magnetically (charismatic-- especially in group settings, they stand out amongst others because they seem so self-assured, dependable yet independent-- and thats part of why they have that magnetic charm that seems so sexy-- applies to Namjoon as well/Scorpio Venus)

It’s also part of why Jimin tends to show his anger under a cool/calm exterior. With Scorpio in Mars, their personal feelings/will-power is internalized-- that’s where their strength comes from (compared to Aries who’s impact is more successful externally)

They have strong gut-feelings for something, with his Libra, it’s probably a lot about selfishness, lack of social consciousness, lack of emotionality/empathy for other people that makes them boil.

The way he spat it out (his anger) is more Gemini Moon-- he spills it out in one avalanche of hard-hitting words (Gemini- Mercury, verbalize his expressions of anger) but fueled by Scorpio Mars it’s often a lot more passionate, maybe standing up to emphasize a point/becomes more impactful sometimes (intimidating-- at least body language wise. Tension prone-- so maybe some veins popping especially if they’re significantly aggravated-- with that Cancer decan)

He’s probably also a lot more prone to crying afterwards, after externalizing his feelings. Scorpios are still vulnerable, especially when it’s not in the 1st decan.  

This is only in certain context and situation, doesn’t apply to every fight he’s probably been in.

With Jimin, it’s more likely he deals with aggression in a calm manner, or try to reach out to people emotionally and intellectually than prolong the fight for a long time (again-- he will cry if the fight goes on for too long, he’s already overthinking a lot of things, if he has emotions on top of that -- chances are, he’ll try to find a way to remedy it somehow)

  Aspects

Mars (Scorpio) - Sextile - Uranus (Capricorn) | 1′ Degrees 

This is one of his tightest aspect and it’s a positive thing to have (after all the stuff with his Moon)

Depends on how much he works on it and brings it out to front

But honestly, since his Mars is already working so strongly in his chart and it’s in Scorpio (natural ruler, trad.) having it aspect something is just relieving (especially in a tight orb)

When it comes to motivating/inspiring others with his own self-will

His demonstrations and just generally taking action (presenting self-drive/inspiration to work harder)-- he’s self-assured and a comforting presence to gain strength around

Jimin is just-- there’s a leader-like quality to him that’s undeniable sometimes, but it doesn’t intrude into the group age hierarchy because he already has Libra ruling his head and ego (co-operativeness)

With his demonstrations (Scorpio Mars) collaborating with his social consciousness (Capricorn Uranus) -- Jimin is more than perfectly aware, and capable of being a good role model for others (its kind of hard to explain skfn)

It’s-- more than just having a good head on his shoulders, he’s well-balanced in connecting back to reality with this aspect.

It counters his earlier doubts with himself (Sun-Uranus)-- because here, if it’s for others (and if he slows down his over-thinking) he starts acting more, and that self-assured quality he has in himself/in others makes him a great leader/person to be around

It also makes Scorpio intensity here and Capricorn Uranus more demonstrative in it’s ability, because it’s a pretty tight orb-- and it’s already kind of influential in his chart (of what we know w/o birth time)

His commitment to someone and demonstrating his preservation, his loyalty and his sincerity is heightened as well

Think of it like-- if you put yourself as Jungkook or Taehyung for a second-- and Jimin approaches you. Once you see underneath his bubbly-self and his giggly-nature, you start to understand through time (Capricorn Uranus) how demonstrative he’s been with connecting with you and committing to you (Scorpio Mars/Venus)

You start to appreciate him more, but in an approachable/inspirational way. And that’s the kind of charm he has on others.

He has a certain steadfastness to him, full commitment and full sincerity/reliability (maybe except for when he’s suffering from his own stuff-- air placements) to others/those he puts his loyalty into.

It also shows a lot more independence to him, because Jimin can come across as someone who’s people dependent on first glance (shallow evaluation on initial observation) but once you hang out with him for a while-- you start to understand that he’s not a doormat/pushover for others at all (even if he tries to keep harmony in relationships)

This aspects shows someone who has a lot of inner depth (Scorpio/Capricorn) that they can demonstrate/externalize outward pretty well (Mars/Uranus) but it takes time to manifest (Scorpio/Capricorn-- takes time to trust/comes out more when they’re more ‘settled’)

Jimin’s not a doormat, nor is he a push-over or is overly dependent on someone else. At least healthily (if his Libra/Scorpio isn’t fucking up) and in most context-- he tends to know how to keep a personal distance and separate obsession from self-sacrifice (as in, sacrificing his own independence vs. commitment to others--- Gemini/Scorpio)

It’s part of his hesitance but this time-- within this context-- it’s more like purposeful avoidance, Scorpio’s investigative and observational. Capricorn can be calculative and analytical.

But they both need time to commit to someone/something completely because there’s a strong sense of self/ego (in this case, pride in themselves) that makes them kind of-- watch others until the time is right (observe, kind of like circling an opponent/potential person they might want to commit to)

Being rushed or forced into something is only going to aggravate them, again since it’s Mars-- there’s some talk about pride here (especially with Scorpio Mars/Capricorn Uranus) that rushed nature isn’t going to appeal to them, especially if the argument is half-hearted or ‘not good enough’ (backed strongly enough) to be healthy for them both (again, Libra Sun coming into play-- co-operation, not compromise without consent on his side)

It’s a part of why Jimin is dominant with others as well, this independence when you think about Aquarius (which is also in his Sun’s decan) means being understood/others are receptive of them at least on an intellectual level.

Their personal freedom, style of expression, views and opinions on certain things (that they feel strongly about) should be accepted and valued, not put down or steered away from. It’s why he observes and circles instead of diving head deep into things sometimes, not just a sense of self-preservation but it’s an innate need to reach a true understanding with each other that he isn’t a doormat and he’s not going to compromise everything for someone else either (don’t take advantage of his kindness)

You can say it’s one of his best defense mechanism, mostly because it’s healthier and counteracts his own Moon stuff as well. This Mars externalizes a lot of his stress, and keeps him balanced/feet on the ground.

Mars aspecting Uranus also points to individuals who would benefit a lot more when they live life “a little on the edge”, by doing this they tend to overthink less and that would help him tremendously with everything else he has going on

Because Uranus talks about excitement, progressiveness, freedom and innovations-- being able to showcase those kinds of creativity through his Mars (dancing/performing at concerts) helps bring this aspects into practice (put it to the test and thus, he can work on it and see it flourish/feels better about himself as well)  

It’s also part of doing things (Mars) for the social benefit (Uranus) and being able to perform (Mars) is directly talking about it

Mars (Scorpio) - Sextile - Neptune (Capricorn) | 2′ Degrees 

Another great aspect!

This balances the earlier Mars-Uranus, although great by itself with Uranus involved there are restrictions and impulsivity involved as well

With Mars-Neptune aspect, there’s a lot more sympathy and understanding for others even if he doesn’t get/feel where they’re coming from

It’s kind of like Pisces? the ability to empathize and be receptive/accepting of others despite personal difference

This aspects although might not necessarily means he’s calmer, it definitely gives him an unexpected serenity when it comes to certain situations/context

Specifically when dealing with things that are out of his elements, he reaches out and tries to understand where they’re coming from without being too intrusive or dominating

It’s more like-- he’s passionate with his response, if you were to spill your life story out to him and it happens to have some sad bits-- he’s the type to listen well and really lets it sink in

Sometimes a crier, Mars here still talks about tears too y know (since it’s a part of ambition/drive-- wanting to fulfill something therefore some disappointments, meaningful on a primal level)

There’s a lot of compassion here, because his drive/goal (Mars) is connected to his subconscious/truth (Neptune)

It also makes him very charismatic and has a certain allure on stage, think of Jimin’s charisma as layers upon layers of different types of things.

From just the forcefulness and fluidity of Scorpio Mars/Cancer Decan, to the playful inventiveness and charisma of Mars-Uranus/Gemini Moon, to the more harmonious yet graceful nature of Libra Sun/Capricorn Uranus-Neptune

And now to this, dream-like, serendipity-esque quality of Mars-Neptune (honestly it’s a combination of Mars-Uranus/Gemini Moon as well in serendipities)

It brings more sensuality to his passion, smoothen out the rough edges of Scorpio but like a veil-- semi-transparent and still letting his inner force through.

Think of it like fabric moving across skin, like one of those classical statues in art museums you can see the person’s features though it’s draped ‘fabric’ (made from stone)

It’s that kind of beauty, and magnetism that this placement brings.

And since it’s also one of his tightest orbs, he embodies this a lot.

Flexibility is one of the thing this might embody, as well as just a general gracefulness to someone’s movement,-- dancing (Mars) become story-telling or a narrative (Neptune)

But with Jimin’s Scorpio-Capricorn-- there’s still a sharpness to him.

Think of the slut drops he does, that’s the kind of fluidity versus sharpness this embody. That kind of grace and easiness within one’s body and soul.

Also--- since he’s much more guided through this aspect, and much more compassionate, he tends to cry easier through a good sob story as well

Mars (Scorpio) - Conjunct - Pluto (Scorpio) | 4′  Degrees 

Aaaaaah

We have BOTH ruler of Scorpio here in planets that are ruling them

Even if the degree isn’t tight, the aspect still plays a large part in his life

Particularly when it comes to ambition and pushing himself

Although it can be harmful if his Scorpio is out of control (underdeveloped-- earlier in his life) when it’s gained some sort of understanding within oneself it can be a powerful driving force

He won’t settle for just ‘good’ it has to be ‘more than perfect’

And that goes into his effort as well, 200% or more every single time he does a concert or performance

That’s why Taehyung mentioned Jimin being one of the best performer he knows, because that matters to Jimin.

It’s where his effort goes into, his self-perception, his strength and how he evaluates himself/his limits

See, with Scorpio it’s like-- they’re always trying to push the envelope when they bite onto something. Delve deeper but also upwards as well.

It doesn’t matter how well they’re doing right now, they’re always going to aim to ‘wow’ others (for themselves) even further because that’s their inner-drive, their primal force and self-expression to them.

It doesn’t matter if they’re freight with self-doubt or overwhelming insecurities/confusion sometimes-- when they bite, they’ll do more than what’s necessary to push the limit/challenge themselves (for their own satisfaction)

For those who has the same placement/aspects (in Scorpio) look towards transforming yourself through helping others instead of letting it spill out of control

Sometimes, when they internalize it turns self-destructive and when they externalize it might turn into manipulation

Since you can’t control certain feelings/traits of this aspect-- try to consciously use it in a way that is focused on being forthright, selfless and morally conscious of others.

With Scorpios especially, there’s always an all or nothing mentality in the Venus/Mars placement so a constant reminder to yourself that there’s always a third option, or more options-- should help you use that calm observational quality a bit more.

Try not to manipulate others, or let your feelings/internalized resentment or subversive actions gets the best of you. Always try to choose the less of two evil (losing your head short term versus truly holding a grudge long term) -- it can be hard but it’ll be helpful to you!

Other Placements

Cancer Lilith

Libra Chiron

Sagittarius Juno 

Conclusions

You can’t deny that part of Jimin’s charm is his masculinity, it’s inherent in his posture, habits, even in his ‘feminine’ traits

Libra brings this out, you can’t deny how seamlessly he folds them together. Not just in his dancing, but in his every day life as well.

There’s just something about Jimin that makes him adorable (Libra/Gemini Moon) yet dependable (Libra/Scorpio) at the same time.

Libra’s perfectionist tendencies and insecurities is a part of seeing potential for something + working to fulfill it.

And the self-exertion to others is a part of their insecurities as well, but complicated even more because of other aspects/placements in his chart (again, context)

Sun-Neptune and part of his disillusionment seems to be a big topic in his life, it helps keeps the optimism alive but it’s also fearful of certain change in reality (potential “waiting for the shoe to drop”)

His Gemini Moon is the biggest part of his problem, because it’s interlinked to a lot of things (Sun, Jupiter, Saturn) that has a pretty huge influence over his emotional self (the orbs are one of his tightest even if it’s 3′)

Especially when you consider that he’s a public figure/idol so social planets influence on his emotionality/personal life tends to be a mess especially (nothing he can’t handle though, he’s already coping much better than before)

It’s already a mess by itself, although Gemini Moon can be hard to handle for natives who have them-- it’s not unworkable or unresolvable!

Please love your local Gemini Moon and air-heavy placements they need care and attention on things that matters (it may not be ‘conventional’ care but it’s still part of caring for others)

I think part of why people call him a demon is because we’re thinking of ‘caring’ as like-- the things water signs and earth signs provide. That’s conventional caring, it’s a part of self-care but it’s not the entirety of it. Fire/air signs ‘caring’ is different, but we don’t know how to cope/learn how to handle that

Understanding what they might be struggling with, or certain problems they go through might help us be more sympathetic and learn how to care for them better.

Have you ever met a Libra who’s not a little dramatic? They act like they’re normal but once you get to know them you Know they have a lot of flair to them (like a peacock) -- they just hide it very well sometimes, but they enjoy it. They enjoy having fun.

Oh yeah, and with Jimin if you look at his insecurities with singing (Libra Mercury rx and square Lilith) compared to his dancing/performance (Scorpio Venus/Mars) you can tell he’s trying to approach these things in ways that might not work out for him

Because Scorpio placements sees so much ‘success’ (what he considers success to himself) he’s trying to force his Libra to work in the same way Scorpio does-- which is to push himself harder, do more, figure it out, practice more. It doesn’t work the same way.

Libra need to be treated differently to truly reach it’s full potential-- Jungkook gets this, he balances Jimin out with his Libra Venus/Scorpio Mars.

Although he has problems himself-- Jungkook can help show him/demonstrate how to approach things differently than how Jimin usually does (like in Burn the stage where Jungkook gave some advice to Jimin before their concert on how to un-tense himself)

Other members does it too, Jimin learns and notices a lot of things he can accept/learn from the others. But his biggest enthusiasm is in what he can give to others as well.

Scorpio Mars plays a pretty large part in his life, they’re more benefic than malefic at this point (in this context)

Jimin’s truly a complex and layered person, he’s really like a rose petal where it folds over and over again-- but adds something new each time

He has a lot of depth to him, it’s like walking up one of those coiling towers, the stairs are the angular (Libra) the hole in the middle is the mutable (whoosh movement if you jump off-- Gemini) and you can stop at a platform/floor (fixed- Scorpio)-- every once in a while you observe something new about him every day.

It’s part of Gemini Moon’s littering sure, but it’s stabilized with his Scorpio Venus/Mars there as well.

Honestly, there’s a lot to discover about Jimin. And because he’s changeable/versatile (Gemini) we can look at the trend/bare minimum and work up from there.

Depending on what he chooses to show and what he’s finished conquering-- we may or may not get to see everything about him!

Rest assured it’s not like, malicious or something. He’s a normal person like the rest of us, and just as complex as we are as well.

Things like Scorpio jealousy/dominations, Gemini’s varying interests etc. probably should be addressed when there’s things that can be said about how to understand, accept and improve it. Instead of like, just a dead-end criticism y know?  

Also I’m sure I’ve emphasized this enough but he’s such a cry baby

The Mercury section is kind of short, but that’s mostly because I wanted to delve deeper into it (and some other part as well) in his mini series and I’ve already touched on it a little bit more with Namjoon

I touched on it with Namjoon’s Intellectualism and Kim Namjoon: Inner Planet Natal Reading more critically-- with Jimin, he shares similar problems but he has bigger issues to deal with (Mercury rx)

That’s it for Jimin’s Natal Reading!! I’ll be talking more about him in Jimin Season posts!

  I hope you enjoy! 💕 I’m probably going to re-work some part of this (clarify it more) in his mini series-- but for now, I wanted to get this out. I hope this is understandable/gives some insight onto how they work-- and maybe help you emphasize with the signs a bit more. 

There’s some personal flaws-- as we all have-- since Jimin is so externalized (with some contradiction on transforming the internal outwards) part of his personal flaws tends to be social stuff/things that others can see/affect others more. Therefore, it’s not as self-contained as like Virgos who has to deal with self-criticism/nervousness or Capricorn/Taurus stubbornness. It’s more outwards. 

Still-- I hope we love him for who he is and truly appreciate him 💕I hope this helps a little with that, and also loving Gemini/Libra/Scorpio placements as well 💕

have a parting gift before I go! 💕

[bahrrss-blog]

DIGITAL PROTOTYPING  Malmö University -2019

DE/RE CONSTRUCT  - 1st of April

De/construct. Promoting our insight into the ongoing course, this task wants us to investigate and "deconstruct" an actual GUI, recognising configuration examples of the interface. Deconstruct phase is followed by reconstruction.

Beginning with the procedure of deconstruction, I started from researching the applications on my phone, seeking around to check whether there are applications with specific capacities that are confounding, hard to enrol naturally, or just inadequately planned. That being stated, telephone applications these days have experienced a lot of cycles and update that most apps are about flawless usefulness astute other than the occasional bugs. I unquestionably experienced serious difficulties finding an application that I had serious issues with. So I decided to avoid confusion this time and go for just any app, giving myself a hard task. That I chose to look at as a challenge rather than an unsolvable problem.

I settled with the application of Instagram. Instagram is a popular application. It is structured is founded on picture sharing. What makes this application emerge is the exceedingly adaptable showcase. You can change the look of your pictures and videos, comment, explore, share, and chat, privately and publicly. In a case of private chate, this feature, probably due to a secondary role for Instagram is very locate.

The fundamental issue I'm having as I utilise this application is that as the primary GUI is made for single communication/share and not to interact.

STUDYING THE STRUCTURE OF INSTAGRAM

I generally end up experiencing considerable difficulties finding and getting to the page where you can see private messages. The application makes it easy to glance through the communities and explore but could be troublesome when you might want to rapidly access chats your friends sent you. 

As an extrovert and someone who likes to communicate, this seems overly complicated for times when talking to people anywhere in the world is free of charge. I attempt to deconstruct in detail Instagram and understand why they have placed direct messages in a place where is hard to find.

These are some of the Instagrams GUI. Here you can five different pages and choose between 5 different functionalities of Instagram. Each display has its purpose. To navigate, to explore, to follow, to add new media, and your own profile.

The main issue with the page I have is, the messaging part. Insofar it is available only on the main page. So not even on your profile, nor any other page of the applications. And, to make even stuff more dislikable for me, there is no even messaging part when the application is accessed from the browser, computer or phone.

The app makes it easy to navigate through all features, such as, follow, like, add a new photo, the main page, or your own profile. However, once you find yourself in any place except on the main page, you can’t see messages being delivered. And, this, in my opinion, can be troublesome, due to a pure fact that messaging is a huge part of social networking.

It is that much complicated that Instagram even made official guidelines on their ‘’how to’’ page. You can see their guidelines on the picture under.

REI found messaging one of, if not the main reason why I use social networks, especially Instagram, it is convenient, retro, and modern way of exploring and sharing, so obstacles like one presented above, strike accords, and that's why I am talking about it. Especially as a Student living abroad, and having friends and families all over the world. I would benefit from facilitated messaging options. I will deconstruct Instagram into details furthermore down in this post. So, stay here around and keep reading.

BREAKING IT DOWN

As you can see on the image, in the right upper corner messages are placed, and on the exact opposite side, down left corner is the home page. (the little house looking alike icon)

Furthermore, I will talk about the Instagram story, in the media presented below, you can notice circles and some of them has a red outline, and some not. The red outline is to show that there is a new story published to buy the user. Once you watched the story (the circle becomes grey and moves away from the top of your notifications)The way to watch someone's story is to just simply press (and hold to pause) on the top of the story. Stories usually can’t be longer than a few seconds, and a maximum number of stories is 100 per day. Each story disappears after 24 hours, with the possibility of being stored on the profile afterwards. It will be available (hidden on the profile, meaning only visible to the owner of that profile for next 12 months, and then it is lost forever)

You can see the stories from the main page, or you can access them also when visiting the page of the person or desired agency.  Also, if you desire to share it outside of Instagram you choose from pressing and choosing the option for three dots in the right corner of the media.

In order to not be too subjective, I have asked some of my colleagues to look into this and give me their honest opinions. I also asked some of my friends who are not familiar with the school project, thinking this way I could avoid bias.

Below is a deconstruction of Instagram with annotations of patterns and functions.

RE/CONSTRUCT

If you look closely to provided re-constructed xd prototype. The icon for messages is located in the bottom grid. Inheritably the bottom grid is fixed on the GUI. Hence, to access the messages will be easy and quick. As explained in deconstruct part, the messages/share feature was placed in multiplied places. Giving the cluttered look and giving a feeling of confusion to users. This design patterns can be blamed on Instagram policies to keep their platform explorative and not based it on messaging. It can be argued that Facebook came to a similar problematics, which Facebook solved by creating separate app only for messaging, But this caused the decrease of usage of the main Facebook overall. However my improved design look is minimal, it would not cause major division between messaging and sharing content on Instagram. On the contrary, it would facilitate the usage of both features.

User testing

In user testing, the general feedback I got is can be summed in three words. ´´Oh, THANK GOD´´ what users meant to say was: someone else is also feeling the same way, Some of the users mentioned that they use Instagram as calling app, video calling app. Instagram has incorporated video and voice calling together with iOS and Android, so when someone is calling on Instagram, feels like you are getting regular phone calls. Furthermore, accessing to the deaths of this calls is a bit harder. Because of the issue mentioned previously. Thus having messaging (which is call and video call) feature display on the main GUI of Instagram on the bottom fixed grid, seemed as change worth changing.

Analysis

When starting this project, I wanted to focus only on a rather overall redesign than touching only some visual design patterns. Like messaging feature. However, the visual design does have a big impact on user experience. For the above solutions, I wanted to show how small changes can make a big impact.

The patterns, as far for the control that Instagram induces, is hard to notice. Mainly because announcements are very well integrated, it is hard to distinguish them from real person posts. It is, however, a typical iOS application pattern. It is very well adjusted with adds.

Instagram has an integrated variety of shapes in its design. Rounded, and squared icons.

The font used on Instagram is: Roboto is used along with Freight on Android. The Instagram website uses Proxima Nova for all text with Neue Helvetica and iOS Freight Sans.

On Instagram, when uploading a photo the design pattern of carousels can be noticed. You can scroll between pictures to select as many as it is allowed to upload.

This is the noticeable design patterns, I was also when user testing attempting to found more of them, but I couldn’t notice. I would need to do an in-depth analysis to find more, or maybe with any new updates of design, the new pattern will appear. Sometimes also, when we are to dwell into deconstructing.

BEYOND THE NORM - 15th of April

Questions: 

What is the speculative approach? What is the critical design? How to relate this to interaction design? Should we, as designers, ignore issues of the world? Should we, as citizens, be satisfied with the world we have?

How can a designer play a role in engaging with the world most critical issues?

Check out the video called Technological Dreams Series No. 1, Robots Dunne & Raby, 2007. It talks about interactive experiences. This video has no voice-over, explaining but clearly explain the power roles that we have over the objects. 

https://vimeo.com/2611597

Critical design is rather about asking a question than finding solutions or looking for the problems.

Answers:

Rather than finding a solution to current life problems, Critical design offers a step into the future and gives us feedback about where should we go further. Critical design tests wander and explore with ideas in a rather than unconventional way. Their exploration can be understood as something between reality and impossible. There is an attempt of drawing distinction between affirmative design (design that reinforces the status quo) and Critical Design - design that rejects how things are now as being the only possibility, it provides a critique of the prevailing situation through designs that embody alternative social, cultural and technical, or economic value (Dunne and Raby 2001)

Manifesto of the Critical Design: Design as a medium, asks, questions, social fiction, parallel worlds, functional fictions etc.

Is it even needed? Do we need art in design? Positive critique is that is pushing boundaries that might result in positive changes. Negative critique is that this type of design is just trying to make some noize and that we don’t really don’t need this design.

What to be thoughtful about is that critical design creates a space for critique.

Thoughtful design is taking into perspective, projecting scenarios and establishing the use of emerging things. Discursive design is distinguishing design field, commercial, experimental, and discursive design. What is essential in design fiction is that the object fits into its surroundings.

Relation of these designs to #IXD 

Prototypes are tenuous, material and experienceable. Prototyping is aligned in order for situations to be understood. 

Issues with Critical Design, it is very hard to know you are on the right path. We don’t know if we are doing a good or bad job. 

In a short conclusion: Critical Desing is here to provoke, to question, to change values, to challenge the status quo, do it with great care if you adopt the techniques of critical design.

Adobe XD tutorials

Learning XD in detail has its advantages. Basic functions sometimes are not enough, it is quite a time saving when you know where something is located. Most of the things we learned in the first Adobe tutorial, I have already been familiar with, but haven’t really used them so much. For example, doing animation with xd was valuable insights. We were wireframing the news app. We created load screens, and the screens were supposed to give feedback. And the feedback was load time. I find this very funny, in times when 5G networks are to be implemented.

We created only a few screens and made the animations. But, it is interesting how this animation would look like for enormous news apps, that contain thousands of information and it is updated literally every minute. I guess this information tells how important this trick was when designing an app.

If you look closely you can see that the small dots under the titles are not all the same for each screen. This, when using the app would give the impression of time passing.

Furthermore, learning about wireframing tools, was also valuable. The thing is not only learning is enough, but this skill also has to be practised and put to use. We used already made screens, in my opinion, it is a bit limiting the creativity of the designer, but on the other hand, the time-saving aspect has to be taken into consideration. It would take much longer to make these screens from scratch. Hereunder you can see some screen I made during the XD workshop.

ANALYTICS EXERCISE  -23d April 2019

After an in-depth exploration of Google merchandise store, there are few design suggestions that I could recommend for googles improvement in sales. Right under you can see chars that are visualising backing up my argumentations.

If we look closely to these numbers under. There is an enormous differentiation between mobile users and desktop users. It is certain there today in mobile purchases are common and becoming the main way of using the internet, also purchases.

This makes sense in many ways because mobile phones are always in our pockets, and we reach for mobile more often then we do with our laptops.  So, I am raising the question about this issue, since Google merchandise store, has more visits from their desktop site.

Overall desktop visits are around 51 000 visits, where on phone it is only around 16000 visits.

This data, made me go and look at the mobile site of the store, and here I have found several design changes that can be applied. This, in my opinion, would give the store market standard, and boost mobile visits. Let take a look at the mobile site (check the media under). There we can see a variety of information hidden, behind the same icon. There are cluttered and not even necessary because all of the information this icon contain can be placed within one icon, or simply displayed on its own. The number of items purchased can be placed on the basked. And the icon next to towards left can be eliminated, or unified with the same icon under.

In conclusion, the site is clean from announcements, which gives it a peaceful place to do your shopping. Adding these small changes would make a site mobile friendly and it would boost visits and purchases made through the phone.

Digital Prototyping -  How do speculative approaches reveal qualities of digital prototyping practice, and what are these important qualities?

To begin with, I can mention that speculative design process requires definitely more than one iteration. In my opinion, there is a need for researching the topic of choice from different angels. To understand the complexity of the design opportunity. It is practically a necessity to deconstruct the science behind the design opportunity.

In this course, the topic was drowned from the perspective of the UN sustainable goals. The pros of having to work with information like this is that is a very well researched topic. Easily accessible information online, multiple sources. All of this facilitates the process of speculation.

On the other hand, I will argue that this limits the creative process. Which many would agree, is necessary for any good speculative design process.

However, since this was the first project of speculative design, having predefined filed of work, can be taken as beneficial, then disadvantageous

Furthermore, if we would attempt to answer the following question: How speculative design is relevant to prototyping experiences in general? We can argue that relevance depends on the design aim. In this project, there was a necessity to use previously acquired prototyping skills, but the context was directed towards, information, visualising or grabbing attention overall. To achieve this our prototyping practice needed the help us come up with this design. I would argue that it help to understand speculation in design, but not to the point where the speculation was entirely clear.

For instance, the design process that my group was undertaking in this course, was clearly divided into two major ideas. Where the first idea, was a bad attempt to speculate, and a rather good attempt to solve the problems. Prototyping wasn't contributing much. On the contrary, on the second interaction, when the ideas were considered quite speculative, prototyping, especially using digital tools (such as xd) made the project harder. This is due to the fact that the initial ideas needed to be transferred to visual aspects. Thus, everything seems as constrained. With each small design implementation, the idea of speculation seemed losing its value.

Conclusively, it is worth considering, in future speculative design practices. that the prototyping practices can be arguably big constraint to the speculative design process.

To relate just argued pros and cons of the mentioned topic to the question of this essay (How do speculative approaches reveal qualities of digital prototyping practice, and what are these important qualities?) I can say the digital prototyping has visual aspects as support. Meaning, the tools digital prototyping uses are dependent by the large scale on the visual aspect. Whether we use video or just images. Having said this, and taking into consideration the complexity of the speculative design. Digital prototyping can serve to clarify this complex nature of this form of design.

To wrap up this thought, I can say, the visual aspect is (if well made) self-explanatory, and overall easy to understand (compared to other expensive mediums) therefore, this characteristic of digital prototyping can serve as an advantage when used in speculative design.

However, there are other qualities of digital prototyping that speculative design can reveal. For instance, these qualities can be reviled depending on which angle we are observing digital prototyping. If we looked at it from the perspective of humans needs, then we have to understand that people seek influence over their environments, and digital technology has traditionally extended possibilities to extend knowledge and control (Gaver & Martin, 2000).

There are examples where just simple machine intelligence was used to arranged and to shape birds' behaviour, by approximating a target tune for birds singing. This allowed could allow the different birds to be trained to take different harmonic roles in an overall composition. Hence, digital prototyping can give a man much more than even imaginable at first glance. We can argue that digital prototyping practice could allow people to extend control to the very wildlife and navigate the future of   (wilderness and of nature) simply uncontrollable. Another example can be given from this course speculative design project. The project Swipe Dream, developed with my classmates, held in itself speculative understanding of the UN sustainable goal number 17. Partnership for goals. Swipe dream places serious manners such as development and many flows from developed to developing world, by using modern dating environment such as tinder. There is no-the less controversy in this project. But, it proves the point that speculative design allows (with use of digital prototyping) us to see important questions in another light, thus illuminating problematics, that otherwise would pass unnoticed.

Furthermore, when the design is used to ends that are provocative,  we are bridging and constructing things. We are also telling stories through objects, which become effectively conversation pieces in  a  very  real  and  persuasive  sense.  Through the projection of design scenarios, design fictions, and narratives of use, the designer as storyteller shifts focuses beyond efficient use, to embrace uncertainty, interpretation and meaning (Malpass, 2016).

It can be argued that speculative design holds immense importance for society. It pushes the boundaries from what we know already. It teaches us new perspectives on the stuff that are already around us. It gives purpose to things that presumably are useless. I connect us with objects around us and allows us to create better futures. Speculatively, digital prototyping shines the most in my opinion when using storytelling through film and images. And when mediums for expression is mixed. Her plays important roles in the ambiguity,

Furthermore, when prototyping in relation to the digital world, if we position design as an effective medium with the intent to construct public and engage user audiences by questioning conditions in everyday life. We need a powerful perspective for the user to understand our points. We need to achieve this critical perspective of the user or observer.Here is when digital prototyping can show it’s powered. If done correctly and with huge dedication, we as a designer can affect the direction where our society is going.

Design can push furthermore from orthodox way of thinking. If we manage to encourage the user to interpret the object, we put the user in a role that opens up for exploration, reflection and engagement. And, is it even necessary to explain how important is for every individual to fully engage in explorations of their own lives.

Conclusively, we can argue that there are multiple design approaches when it comes to speculative design. Firstly the combinations of disciplines. Design can be related to art, architecture or even philosophy. But, due to a necessity for clarity and simplicity, to my knowledge, we can narrow down speculative approaches in at least three different ones. The first sees designers reflecting on and critically questioning design practice. In this course, it was a digital prototyping design practice. Also, the second approach is based on re-thinking the design discipline. For example, rethinking if the digital prototyping is the best approach to explain certain problematics, or would is politics the best place to express concern about climate change, and so on.  When we are talking about politics, to my knowledge and from what literature supporting this paper is indicating, one of the approaches of speculative design could actually be related to the overall importance of this speculation and design for society. Nonetheless, it is important to see the speculative design more as a discursive practice, based on critical thinking and dialogue, which questions the practice of design than to try to select and eliminate this practice in any other way (Malpass, 2016).

On the other hand, digital prototyping practice in too many ways can be a limitation in the ability to explore possible futures. We are all explorer, and the medium we use matters.  Different strategic approaches are both desirable and necessary to achieve the best results possible in the process of exploration.

Digital prototyping is a way of thinking and expressing. It is certainly no so different from physical prototyping. But none the less, the experience digital prototyping can create, might interfere with how we think of our future and how we as mankind will continue to go about our lives. Yes, I argue of the benefits of digital prototyping, but however good and beneficial this prototyping is, it will never bring better results than feedbacks that real users give us.

In conclusion, it can be stated that digital prototyping together with the speculative design is of big importance, it gives us a modern perspective of ourselves and of the context we found ourselves in.

Literature

Gaver, B., & Martin, H. (2000). Alternatives. Proceedings of the SIGCHI Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems - CHI ’00. https://doi.org/10.1145/332040.332433

Malpass, M. (2016). Critical Design Practice: Theoretical Perspectives and Methods of Engagement. The Design Journal. https://doi.org/10.1080/14606925.2016.1161943