#remove render-blocking

[bigbrainbiology]

Making an AU out of a drawing sheet of Penny <3

Basically the concept is Penelope runs away at 14, learns magic, then becomes an assassin. As for story? No idea I'm not too great at writing stuff 😅

[queensparklekitten]

anyways after that minecraft movie trailer i'm tempted to change my skin back to that one based on crimson/warped duality out of spite

they called the nether "a place with no joy or creativity at all" like just tell me you're too scared to go there and thus haven't experienced

-joining in on a group of piglins hunting a hoglin, letting them keep the loot, trading with them afterwards, i find that this temporarily cures the loneliness of singleplayer

-the dance they do afterwards sometimes literally just the piglin dance, hitting shift repeatedly with them

-literally just the nether music at all

-that CRESCENDO in rubedo

-that brief minor key reprise of sweden in dead voxel hhhhhhhhhhhh

-occasional crimson roots in a soul sand valley like oh there's still some life here

-wither skull hunting and recruiting piglins to help you by luring them to the fortress with gold (+ giving them gold helmets so they don't put on the skulls) i love the ways this game lets me fight alongside piglins if i want to

-the subtle animated texture of crimson and warped stems like they feel so ALIVE with that one small detail

-seeing a nether tree growing through another one

-and an extremely tall nether tree amidst the normal height ones

-and weeping vines hanging from the ceiling

-passing by a piglin that's wearing enchanted iron boots and immediately knowing you've met and traded with this one before

-parkour challenge basalt delta

-also the particles in that biome look like snow if you turn down your render distance

-STRIDERS. Literally just striders. They're like bonded creatures to me, honorary tameable mobs, you put a saddle on the one mob in the nether that would never hurt you and then go on a journey together across the deadly lava ocean avoiding ghasts together and you can't remove the saddle now unless you kill it which you can't do because it's your ride back to the portal, once that strider is saddled it is Your strider and even if you release it into the wild you will immediately recognize it by the saddle if you see it again and in such a dangerous world you have found a companion you can always trust and idk bout you but i always bond so hard with them

-and also they're kind of cute, esp with the little waddle walk

-seeing a baby strider on top of an adult one

-literally just the fact that nether biomes have all this constant looping ambience and particles in the air that makes them feel so immersive and so alive, each biome has its own unique soundscape and ambience, can you imagine soul sand valleys without the wind and the whispers and wails

-aside note the particle effects are like the animated stems in that they're such a subtle detail but they add so much, i never really noticed them until i was netherite mining and started using them to tell which biome i'm under

-the nether was doing ambience and immersion 5 years before the Spring Drop allowed the overworld to finally catch up to it

-the adorableness of baby piglins

-esp when they ride on top of baby hoglins

-PIGSTEP. FUCKING PIGSTEP. the piglins have music and it's SUCH A BANGER i've thrown ingame parties with this music disc

-seeing warped fungus in a crimson forest or crimson fungus in a warped forest

-biome borders between the two that have all this warped foliage in the crimson forest and vice versa as they blend into each other

-nyooming across a soul sand valley with soul speed 3 boots, laughing at the skeletons and ghasts who can't land a hit on you, bonus if you add a speed potion to the mix

-doing this and realizing the subtitle says "soul escapes" and you're surrounded by blue particles and realizing you're freeing them from their imprisonment (and presumably the piglins who made this enchantment are doing the same when they use it)

-the rib and snout armor trims

-gilded blackstone it's so pretty and nice and a great building block (and you can't craft it only the piglins know how to do that)

-bastions have chiseled blackstone

-and their own exclusive banner pattern

-some of them have that gold-and-quartz decorative thing that looks like some kinda statue

-apparently part of the Bridge type of bastion is designed to resemble a piglin head with the mouth as the entrance

-someone in the notes mentioned glowstone and YES how did i forget it when originally making this post, glowstone my childhood favourite block that's in my current mc username, pretty and shiny and also the way piglins used it to invent spectral arrows

-getting lost in the lore implications, noticing the huge fossils and the implications of the name "warped forest" as well as the names of some of its ambience sounds and the fact that basalt comes from rapidly cooling lava irl and next thing you know you've got a whole red string theory going that edges closer and closer to cosmic horror

-ik the fossils look like ribs but one time i wondered if they might be the fingers of something unfathomably huge

-the time i encountered a baby piglin running from a zombified one so i pushed the zombified piglin off the fortress and then gave the baby piglin a gold nugget

but hey what do i know i'm just a nether enthusiast on the "romanticizing and finding beauty in the horrifying and the forsaken" website huh

[getvalentined]

Cons to Dreamwidth: You cannot block people from following your blog or getting alerts when you post publicly, and you cannot remove followers or subscribers. This means that if you want to keep someone from getting a notification every time you post something, you have to permanently set your entire blog's security to friends-only visibility. When a friend and I asked about this, because I have a stalker that is currently still subscribed to my old DW account whose affiliation I cannot remove, we were both told in no uncertain terms that there is no intention to ever change this, and if someone in my position wants to feel remotely safe on their platform they should just lock down their account and hide forever.

The rest is good, I'm not gonna lie, but I can't use it because the owner literally said that people in my position should just hide forever if they don't want someone who literally tried to kill them to get a notification every single time they post something.

If that's not a concern of yours, then by all means use DreamWidth. It's a good platform with good features made and maintained by good people. I know I'm a (fairly) unique circumstance, and I wouldn't tell anyone not in my position to avoid the platform.

Near as I can tell, Dreamwidth's biggest selling points right now are:

Porn is allowed

NFTs/crypto can fuck off (more info from one of the site owners)

Posts viewed in (reverse) chronological order

Actual privacy options

I can't say it's everything your average Tumblrite wants, but it's still a helluva lot better than far too many other options.

[otterloreart]

Steps of creating a 3D model replica from scratch

trace photos of character from available and cleanest angles. attempt to get a 90 degree*, front and back, side profile and straight on of the face. save additional reference photos such as bottom of body, back, and various extra angles without tracing which may help reference later on.

*more on angles later, but trying to get a 90 degree from each side is the most realistic and practical option if you dont actually have the character you're copying

2. block out the body and head

and by block i mean, yeah, its made out of elaborate rectangles

4 aha, you thought I would hand sculpt those? no. no. I used the curve tool to add these swirls. And yes i exactly traced them over the drawings to match the original as best as possible. The end of the curve tool is flat by default so I added a few spheres to make the ends nice and round. (there is absolutely a way to make the ends of curves rounded but I did not feel like looking it up or messing with the settings)

this wasn't mirrored to the other side- I traced both sides of the body and the front from photos and sculpted the swirls for each side. I couldn't get a single photo of the swirls at the butt area so I just winged it.

6 I am struggling to not make Cha Cha look angry.

I feel like the eyes are basically traced off the original and yet she looks so much grumpier. maybe it just needs to be smoothed out?

I added a little definition to the area around the eyes and I do think it looks a little better. The more definition I add in this stage the better, because I prefer this to sculpting. However, if you're more adept at sculpting you would probably not make this as detailed.

7 Here she is after smoothing everything out in sculpt after remeshing, in both Eevee (left) and Cycles (middle/right). still trying to figure out how best to render things. For some reason her nose ended up lighter in cycles but i cant be bothered to fix that rn

On the previous step I made the elements of her face + ears mirrored but once I start sculpting I'm not using the mirror tool. In fact nothing ends up mirrored, even the back right foot is slightly shifted in position.

this is probably not even the final version, I think i might redo the smooth/sculpt part and fiddle with the underlying shapes (basically go back a step)

Cha Cha's face. is one of the most difficult things to sculpt. It is extremely difficult to understand the shape of the underlying sculpt because there aren't any photos of her with the eye paint removed. There are so few of her out there I don't think anyone would willingly remove the paint to make a custom or anything unless it was in truly awful condition, and I dont think that has ever happened.

I have saved dozens of references from a number of different sites- these pics here are from etsy, the above was from the wiki. Her eyes are different from every single other pony and pony and friends- they're so bulging, so round, the eyelashes are longer. It's wild.

I can only see all the things that are wrong with it.

It's basically impossible to get something like this 100% perfect unless you have like, a set of turnaround photos all from the same angle that you can match up to the camera. You can basically overlap references with the camera view but you will never know the exact angle so if you make edits from multiple angles like this you'll inevitably not match each angle and then have to go back and adjust the angles and then you're fiddling with it infinitely. That's why I usually go for the "trace 4 angles and make the rest up as you go along" method.

I don't want to spend _too_ long on every model I make- the Takara pony which took 6 months really shows how far down the rabbit hole I will go with something like this, and it's just not practical. But I think with a slight amount of fiddling I can match the reference a little better.

[agustdiv1ne]

Hard thought - being so desperate for each other that you and Minho dry hump each other til you both cum in your pants

holy shit, anon (MDNI or you will be blocked, nsfw under the cut!)

one of minho's hands lays heavy against your hip as he holds himself above you, a forearm pressed into the couch cushion next to your head. lips meld against each other, want and need and lust mixing and creating a concoction that renders you both dizzy and craving more, more, more.

pressed flush against your clothed center, his boxer-clad cock grows harder and harder as hands tug at shirts and squeeze at bare skin. his fingers find your hips, sliding around to the globes of your ass and squeezing while he grinds you against him. you emit a breathy moan against his lips, a sigh of his name. the friction is addicting, the thin fabric of your panties rubbing against your clit. the fabric clings to your folds as you grow even wetter.

both of your movements grow increasingly desperate as the seconds tick by. he mouths and nips at your neck, his tongue not far behind to sooth the marred skin, groaning as you curl your fingers into his hair, tugging at the dark strands. his head removes itself from your neck so he is able to lock your gaze to his — and fuck, you're a sight to behold. furrowed brows, eyes snapped shut, swollen lips coated in spit, bitten oh so hard to muffle your cries. your oversized shirt is slipping from your shoulder, revealing the strap of your bra and the bare skin of your shoudler.

one hand remains on your ass, continuing to guide you against him, while the other reaches up to hold your chin. your eyes flutter open, only to avoid his gaze. with a deep, shuddering breath, he squeezes your chin.

"eyes on me," he orders, his voice deep and dark. visibly shivering above him, you obey. his umber eyes bear into yours, hypnotizing — and while you want to bury your head back into his chest and hide, you simply can't. he smirks at your slack-jawed expression. "such a good girl. shit, feels good?"

"y-yeah," you squeak out, panting now. you've drifted somewhere far away, lost in the pleasure he's so generously giving you. your vision goes fuzzy around the edges as his hand slides down to wrap around your throat, moaning at the sensation.

"yeah?" he asks, the lilt in his voice condescending. "you like my cock grinding into your pretty pussy, my hand around your throat? bet you're so wet already, hm? are you?"

with a rapid nod of your head and a whine, your eyes shut again, hips grinding down even faster. when they blink back open, you find his cocky demeanor has lessened, his head thrown back as he groans and curses under his breath.

"god. fuck, baby," he breathes, starting to thrust up into you to meet you halfway. you squeal at the sensation. "y'feel so good. gonna make me cum soon."

you scramble forward to kiss him, muffling your moans and his groans. your fingertips press into his shoulders as you feel your peak approaching. the rustle of clothes mix with the obscene sounds.

and then you're shoved straight over the edge.

you cry his name as your thighs quake, trying to close but being halted by his own. your lips leave his so your head can dive into his shirt, riding out the pleasure. minho ruts into you once, twice before his torso shudders beneath you. he hisses out a quiet "fuck" as his release stains his boxers.

slowly, the two of you come down, your face still buried into his chest. he can feel the heat radiating off of your cheeks when he cups them to bring you in for a gentle, slow kiss. the desperation that previously filled the air has all but dissipated, replaced by soft adoration — and slight embarrassment.

"that...was so fucking hot," he mumbles once he pulls away, a small smile curling at the corners of his mouth. "can't believe you made me cum in my pants."

you giggle despite your newfound fatigue. "i guess i just have that effect."

he pinches your waist. "brat."

that only make you laugh harder. shifting off of him, you stand on trembling legs. "shower?"

he laces his fingers with yours with a sly grin.

"i thought you'd never ask."

[toaarcan]

In theory, the ramifications of the choices the party are making on Exandrian politics should be, uh, interesting.

Like, these guys come out of nowhere, they present themselves as the ones that are going to stop Ludinus, and the Exandrian Accord are pretty sceptical about them, especially given their professed lack of skin the game and frequently-expressed contempt for the gods.

But Keyleth, leader of the Ashari and one of the members of Vox Machina, personally vouches for them, gives them all fancy new titles, and promises that they really are going to be the ones to pull it off.

And then they (probably) kill Ludinus, and in the space of a few minutes, doomer themselves into deciding that "Well Predathos is getting released eventually anyway so we might as well do it", go into its cage, let it out, and then create a plan that doesn't kill the gods, but does render them mortal and strip of them of their power, which they feel is a solution because it satisfies the anti-god streak among them but doesn't account for the myriad problems with removing the gods from the table, like:

The massive amount of demons waiting to do an incursion

The potential for certain gods to hide and maintain their divinity until Predathos is gone, then becoming the sole god.

Non-Tengarian gods like Vecna potentially not being on the menu

Fucking Tharizdun

Every Cleric or Paladin that wielded divine power from a god losing their powers and having to learn to channel divine magic for themselves, wiping out magical healthcare because every priest on the planet got level-reset.

The Unseelie Fey being obvious heirs apparent to the gods' thrones.

The fucktons of rogue Celestials and Fiends this would create.

It also adds a new one: The gods incarnated as mortals before, and became gods again. If that possibility isn't blocked off (which it very well might not be), the gods could regain their divinity, which could not only potentially bring Predathos back to Exandria, but also basically guarantees Calamity 2 instead of averting it, by turning the Betrayers into mortal time-bombs.

"Welp, Torog just remembered who he is, we're all fucked."

It really is incredible that these guys were stood up in front of the world, got vouched for by a hero that they'd been looking to for support all campaign, convinced the world to trust them to save the gods, and then decided to not save the gods, or at least, not do it in any way the people asking for the gods to be saved can appreciate.

[ghost-mantis]

Takua was the very first Matoran built by the Great Beings. He was not only a test build to see if their nanotech workers would perform as expected, but a way to test early builds of GSR programming.

Headcanon that Takua's programming was granted administrator privileges to the GSR. The Great Beings wanted to make sure the automated systems would interact safely with an administrator before they tested things themselves. If their test subject was attacked or destroyed, well they could always build another.

Additional Headcanon that when the Great Beings were finished and dumped Takua in with the rest of the Av-Matoran they cleared his memory but forgot to remove the administrator privileges. This played an accidental role in the rest of the storyline.

This explains why only Takua could summon the Toa Mata or enter the Bohrok Nest unhindered. He still retained the privileges as Takanuva but couldn't bypass Karzahni's barrier because he too had overwright privileges on part of the GSR and could exclude anyone he wanted.

Had he gotten past the barrier with the rest of his friends, he would have been able to walk them down the 777 stairs without tripping any of the protection systems. Had he wanted to, he could have also walked straight into the Codrex without the key.

With his access to the GSR systems, he would have been able to walk into Mata Nui's brain if he knew the way. Likewise, if he had known how to code he could have rewritten the traits and personalities of others, not unlike a Makuta virus.

Had the Great Beings gone back to visit the GSR, Takua would have been able to see them despite the programming block placed on non-administrators to render them invisible.

*Great Beings in Metru Nui pre-Teridax Attack, Standing around Ta-Metru looking at various Matoran while 'unseen' by the locals.*

Great Being 1: "Hmmm, the project is progressing well enough, but how did they all gain sapience? We didn't program them for that!"

Great Being 2: "Someone must have interfered..."

Takua: *From Behind Them* "Oh hey, you guys must be tourists! I've never seen anyone like you before. What island are you from?"

Great Beings: *Incoherent Shrieking*

[shuenkio]

𝙁𝙇𝘼𝙈𝙀 𝘿𝙍𝙄𝙉𝙆 /🍷 [REQUEST]

Paring: Down!bad!jay x male!reader

Cw: needy sex, cum filled, drunk sex, rough, friends to lover sex, obsession etc.

Genre: SMUT 18+

Summary: He has been waiting for this moment with you on this heat bed.

Read at your own risk.

Nonchalant y/n ಠ⁠∀⁠ಠ

Jay was a musician whose passion lay in guitars. He loved collecting various types of guitars that caught his eye, disregarding the cost entirely. When he purchased a new guitar, he didn't bother looking at the price tag.

As a dedicated cashier at the bustling instrument store, you frequently encounter Jay during his daily visits. His ardent love for guitars keeps him returning to your establishment time and again. However, it's not merely his passion for music that brings him back - there's an underlying bond between both of you that compels him to visit regularly.

Your initial meeting took place when Jay struggled to choose a guitar. You assisted him, making eye contact and smiling encouragingly. That moment sparked something between them - an immediate attraction neither of us anticipated. Your friendship grew stronger, leading to the exchange of phone numbers and weekend plans. They enjoyed each other's company both inside and outside the store, fostering a deeper bond.

As his love for you swelled, it became increasingly difficult to contain. His attachment to you grew stronger with each passing day, especially whenever you interacted with other men. Seeing them close to you sent waves of jealousy coursing through him. Afraid of losing you he decided to hold back his feelings, hoping for the perfect chance to reveal his true feeling.

Weekend approaching, you and Jay went to hang out at the Bar today, which is different from before.

While Jay stepped away to use the restroom, you found myself seated at the counter, feeling slightly vulnerable. Suddenly, a seemingly inebriated man sidled up next to you, attempting small talk. His advances were clear, and despite your attempts to maintain distance, he leaned in closely. His hands blocked your path as he tried to pull you towards him for a kiss. Panicking, I struggled to push him away, but his unsteady state rendered him almost jelly-like, threatening to collapse onto me.

Right when I was struggling against the aggressive man, Jay emerged from the restroom. Without hesitate, he throw a punch the man, who fell to the ground groaning before finally fainting. Relieved but still shaken, Jay checked on you touching your shoulders gently. When you assured him you're fine, Jay chose to end our night early. After settling the bill, he walked you to his car. Before entering, you hurriedly drank what remained of your beverage and let Jay guide you inside.

During our drive back, you suddenly feels a surge wave of heat. Even though the car's AC was running, it didn't seem to affect you. You thought maybe the drink was upsetting your stomach. But as he pulled up to your place, the heat kept rising, making you sweat uncontrollable all over. Seeing your struggle, Jay's brows furrowed with concern as he guided you inside your apartment. His worry added to your own confusion about this sudden and intense bout of heat.

Once inside your bedroom, Jay carefully removed your shoes and socks. His face mirrored yours - puzzled by this sudden, inexplicable heat coursing through your veins. He sat beside you on the bed, contemplating the situation. Suddenly, it dawned on him – maybe someone had slipped something into your drink.

"I'm s—oo i feel Too hot, Jay!" You gasped, clutching at the sheets beneath you.

"I feel so... H-hot i just want to-"

Your consciousness bye bye from my physical self, taking complete control as you struggled against the boil heat. Ignoring modesty, you frantically stripped off your clothes until only your boxers remained. As you went to discard them too, Jay's hand cut in, stopping you in mid-action. His touch was both comforting and alarming in this surreal scenario.

"You sure you wanna do this- M/n?" He asked, patiently waiting for your response.

"I want to .... Feel nghh You" Jay's ear twitching, hearing your magic words feel like he just won a lottery. Without misunderstood He want to make sure he get your consent of doing this so he asked you one more time.

"Say it again m/n, do you want me to help you?"

"I want you to feel me JAY, I need you to take this hotness away~ mm" Your hand roaming twirling around your own body, the medicine started to act up again, but now it's even worse.

His eyes turned dark, filled with a hunger that was both thrilling and disturbing. he licking on his dry lip slightly, eager with a desire craving.

"I've been waiting for this m/n, you'll never get it" his belt was flying across the room. Unbutton his top, while he's stripped down his fabric in a fleet motion. Exposed his stretch-long balls, with his length bouncing, hit on his abdomen, twitching non stop.

He waste no time, before pull your boxer down reveal your hard dick, affected by the medicine in your drink back in the bar.

"Y~oUr so Big JaY put It in mE!i waNt to feel it" Your chest heaving, begging for his meat inside you, you're so bold which turn him on even more.

No further do, Jay push his cock inside your tight hole without any warning. Both feeling mix with pain and pleasure as Jay buried his length inside you. Once he's fully all in, Jay began to roll his hip against you, as his thighs pressed against you in every slam thrusting, making wet noises echo loudly in your bedroom. His grinding let your gasp escape your mouth, with Your vocalisation spurred him on, driving him to fuck harder.

Jay's thrust grow harder in every powerful slam, he lowered himself down to capture your mouth, sucking on your bottom lip, swirling his tongue all over your inside. You return back his gesture, lost in the world of desire, message each other tongue together, taste the sticky saliva.

"Mmm oh-Ah argg your fucking shit is just perfectly fit my cock, M/N "

Jay roll his eyes to the back of his brain, melt under your tight entrance clenching his cock so well, each hip rolling one pushing both of you closer to the edge.

Dipping your nails on the skin of his back, leaving a fade red scratches on him, as the sensation continue drive you fucking good.

The bed creaked under their writhing bodies as, in unison. He tugging on your earlobes with his teeth before lift you up, Take both of your legs, hooking around his waist, carry on with the pace in a max speed. Your vision fading to black, is this how it feel like when they said you'll be see the stars in this heat bed?

Fire pooling low in Jay's abdomen, matching the orgasms that built inside your epididymis, where your cums store.

"S—SHIT it's coming I'm gonna filling you with my child M/N"

With a roar both of you reach the climax, shooting your semen on your own skin, before Jay blew his load inside your oral, filling you full with his hot seed. Your body shivered and trembled, collapsing on his chest, exhausted from the lustful encounter, not to mention that you're a virgin but not anymore.

Jay take a moment to catch his breath. As he settle you down back on the bed gently and laying down beside you, then he's grabbing you by your waist moving you closer to him skin-to-skin, still exposed, Hugging you tight in his warm embrace.

"This is the best day of my life M/N, there's will be a change between us tomorrow, i love you" He then pressed a kiss on your forehead. Closing his eyes, dozing off to the wonderland with you.

The flame inside your body's faded after an unforgettable night with him.

🗣️ please mind my English! ><

🗣️Reblog and like is much appreciated ♥

🗣️ lack of perfect words, my apologies ~

🗣️ crd to all over pics&dividers .

[femsolid]

OP blocked me (I don't know them) but I think this is a perfect example of post-modern nonsense:

Comparing class struggle to a "disagreement in relationships", what could possibly go wrong with this way of thinking?

You need to ask yourself this simple question: when the oppressive class is rendered invisible, who benefits? The answer is obvious.

The assumption here is that misogyny and poverty just fell from the sky someday, of course.

The reality is that it's women vs. men because men throw acid in women's faces. It's the poor vs. the rich because the rich are stealing and hoarding life-saving resources. In essence, there's a class struggle not because women or the poor enjoy conflict and having "enemies", but because men are waging a war against women, and the rich are waging a war against the poor.

But, in this perfect illustration of post-modern and neo-liberal thinking, there are no enemies to be found, only neutral problems that we're all meant to solve together:

Class struggle is negated and, with it, class consciousness

The oppressing class is reframed as our "ally", or an unlucky part of the "problem"

The crimes committed against the oppressed class have no authors

Conflict is removed from the equation, because citing names is in bad taste, it's mean, it's not inclusive, and because deep down we believe in convincing our oppressors that they need to stop, so we mustn’t alienate them, it's not their fault they're part of a "bad system," it's bad luck, it's random, it's because we haven't formulated the perfect argument yet

Fighting those who hurt you demands time, energy, dedication and bravery, and it's much easier to argue about words on the internet

Everything becomes conceptual, abstract and vague, a "bad system" that just came to be

We discuss words more than actions

The slave and his master are on the same boat, they're "allies" even, facing a "problem" together: a "bad system." The post-modern will also typically add that the bad system "hurts the slave master as much as the slave!"

The conclusion is in the tags of the blog I found the post on: "solving the problem vs. fighting the problem"

The goal is to discourage people from fighting.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Dave Granlund

* * * *

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

May 20, 2025

Heather Cox Richardson

May 21, 2025

Today was a rough day for administration officials on Capitol Hill as Senate committees held hearings on the 2026 budget requests for the Department of Homeland Security, the Department of Health and Human Services, and the Department of State. The Senate Finance Committee also held a hearing for Trump’s nominee to be Commissioner of Internal Revenue, former Missouri representative William “Billy” Long. Democrats came prepared and demanded answers that the department secretaries and nominee were either unable or unwilling to give.

Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem was testifying before the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee about the Department of Homeland Security's budget for fiscal year 2026. When Senator Maggie Hassan (D-NH) asked her to define “habeas corpus,” Noem’s response indicated she has no understanding of the nation’s fundamental law.

“Habeas corpus is a constitutional right that the president has to be able to remove people from this country,” Noem said. Hassan corrected her: “Habeas corpus is the legal principle that requires that the government provide a public reason for detaining and imprisoning people. If not for that protection, the government could simply arrest people, including American citizens, and hold them indefinitely for no reason. Habeas corpus is the foundational right that separates free societies like America from police states like North Korea.”

Noem’s habit in these hearings is simply to ignore questions and to attack, and she tried that with Hassan, suggesting that the president has the right to suspend habeas corpus if circumstances require it. Her position echoes that of White House deputy chief of staff Stephen Miller, with whom she appears to be working to render immigrants to prisons in third countries, but it is dead wrong. The Constitution permits Congress to suspend habeas corpus; not the president.

While Republicans were generally supportive of the Republican officials in the hearings, Senator Josh Hawley (R-MO) used his time to beg Noem for help for Missouri. The state has suffered a number of natural disasters, including a deadly tornado last Friday, but the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) has not shown up.

“The state has pending three requests for major disaster declarations from earlier storms,” Hawley told Noem. “[W]e’ve lost almost 20 people now in major storms just in the last two months in Missouri.” The Department of Homeland Security oversees FEMA, and Hawley asked Noem to expedite the requests and get them in front of Trump. “We are desperate for… assistance in Missouri,” he said.

When Senator Richard Blumenthal (D-CT) asked Noem how she planned to meet the needs of American people when the administration is cutting 20% of FEMA employees and the agency has lost most of its leadership, Noem talked over him and said the problem was that the Biden administration had failed the American people.

Over in the Appropriations Subcommittee on Departments of Labor, Health and Human Services, and Education, and Related Agencies, things didn’t go much better.

Health and Human Services secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. exploded when Senator Patti Murray (D-WA) asked him whose decision it was to withhold childcare and development block grant funding. Kennedy immediately pivoted to former president Biden’s 2021 budget. When she tried to get him back on track, he continued to talk over her, accusing her of “presiding over the destruction of the health of the American people” and of not doing her job. Murray repeatedly tried to recall him to appropriate behavior, finally appealing to the Republican chair of the committee, who asked Kennedy to stop.

When Murray repeated her question, he simply said the decision was made “by my department.” While he refused to take responsibility for the cuts himself, Murray did get him to admit that the department has blocked billions of dollars in federal child care funding.

Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL) spelled out for Kennedy his concern about cuts to research funding for the neurodegenerative disease amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), sometimes called Lou Gehrig’s disease. “On April 1, ten laboratory heads at National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Strokes received their layoff notices,” he said. “They were all PhDs and senior investigators. They're not administrators, whatever that might be. They were running intramural labs at NIH. If you have your way, they'll all be gone on June 2nd. Science magazine reported 25 of 320 physician researchers at NIH's Internal Clinical Center are leaving, and the number of patients treated in the hospital has been reduced by 30%. Three grants involving ALS and dementia work at Northwestern University [in] Illinois have been paused…. Just last week, an ALS researcher at Harvard had his grant cut.” Durbin asked: “How can we possibly…give hope to people across the country who are suffering from so many diseases when our government is cutting back on that research?”

Kennedy replied: “I do not know about any cuts to ALS research.” When Durbin responded, “I just read them to you,” Kennedy reiterated that he didn’t “know about them until you told…me about them at this moment.”

Brenda Goodman of CNN noted that when Senator Jack Reed (D-RI) asked Kennedy about ending the childhood lead poisoning prevention program of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Kennedy assured Reed that “[w]e are continuing to fund the program.” Goodman notes that CNN reported in April that officials in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, had asked the CDC for help addressing lead hazards in Milwaukee Public Schools after the agency’s lead experts were fired. The CDC refused, possibly because Kennedy has said lead poisoning prevention would be moving from the CDC to his new “Administration for a Healthy America.”

Kennedy told Reed the federal government has “a team in Milwaukee, and we’re giving laboratory support to that, to the analytics in Milwaukee, and we’re working with the health department in Milwaukee.”

Officials in Milwaukee said that was untrue. “The City of Milwaukee Health Department is not receiving any federal epidemiological or analytical support related to the MPS lead hazard crisis. Our formal Epi Aid request was denied by the CDC,” spokesperson for the City of Milwaukee Health Department Caroline Reinwald told CNN. Earlier this month, Milwaukee’s health commissioner expressed dismay that the CDC’s entire team working on childhood lead exposure had been laid off. “These are the best and brightest minds in these areas around lead poisoning, and now they’re gone,” he said.

At the end of today’s hearing, Senator Tammy Baldwin (D-WI) corrected the record, saying to Kennedy: “There are no staff on the ground deployed to Milwaukee to address the lead exposure of children in schools, and there are no staff left in that office at CDC, because they have all been fired.”

Democrats on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee took Secretary of State Marco Rubio to task for abandoning the principles they believed he held when they voted to confirm him.

The administration rendered Maryland senator Chris Van Hollen’s constituent Kilmar Abrego Garcia to the notorious CECOT terrorist prison in El Salvador through what the administration said was “administrative error,” and yet officials are refusing to bring him back despite court orders to do so. Van Hollen reminded Rubio that they had served together in Congress for 15 years and that while they didn’t always agree, “I believe we shared some common values: a belief in defending democracy and human rights abroad and honoring the Constitution at home. That’s why I voted to confirm you. I believed you would stand up for those principles. You haven’t. You’ve done the opposite.”

Senator Jacky Rosen (D-NV) spoke to him “as a mother, a senator, and a fellow human being,” saying, “I'm not even mad anymore about your complicity in this administration's destruction of U.S. global leadership. I'm simply disappointed. And I wonder if you're proud of yourself in this moment when you go home to your family?" She noted how he appeared to have abandoned all his past principles, and said she no longer recognized him.

When Van Hollen told Rubio he regretted voting to confirm him as secretary of state, Rubio retorted: “Your regret for voting for me confirms I’m doing a good job.”

Billy Long had his own problems. In an opening statement, Senator Ron Wyden (D-OR) pointed out that Long was neither “an independent tax professional or somebody with extensive management experience.” He was simply a fierce Trump loyalist who would help Trump “use the IRS as a cudgel to beat his adversaries into submission.” Wyden also noted serious accusations against Long’s involvement with fraudulent tax schemes.

In his questioning, Wyden asked, “Did you promise any tax promoter you would help them if you got confirmed?” Long said no. Wyden followed up, asking if he had met with anyone when he was in Washington, D.C., for the inauguration and promised to help them. Long again said no, that he had been in his room for “about 50 hours” with food poisoning.

Wyden noted that staff investigators had tapes of a tax promoter saying he had met with Long at the inauguration and that Long had promised him favorable treatment. They also have another tape of a chief financial officer who had donated to Long after he was nominated for the IRS post, also saying he expected favorable treatment. Senators Wyden, Sheldon Whitehouse of Rhode Island, and Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts are currently investigating these tapes.

Warren took up Trump’s misuse of the IRS to hurt his opponents. Trump has threatened to revoke Harvard University’s tax-exempt status, although federal law expressly prohibits any official from using the IRS to punish any individual taxpayers. Warren tried to get Long to say it would be illegal for the president to direct the IRS to revoke a taxpayer’s nonprofit status, but he refused to. Warren concluded: “[T]he fact that you want to sit there and dance around about this tells me that you shouldn't be within 1,000 miles of the directorship of the IRS.”

The House was also a troubled place today, as Representative Nancy Mace (R-SC) used a hearing of the House Cybersecurity, Information Technology, and Government Innovation Subcommittee, which she chairs, to accuse her ex-fiancé and other men of sexual abuse. She showed what she claimed were naked photos of herself and other women, taken without their consent. These accusations echo those she made in a speech in the House on February 10th. The men deny the allegations, and one is suing her for defamation. She is taking the position that her attacks on them in Congress are legally protected by the Constitution’s speech and debate clause.

If Republican lawmakers didn’t seem up to their jobs today, neither did the president. He announced a “Golden Dome” missile shield defense system—a U.S. version of Israel’s “Iron Dome”—that he claims will be operational in 3 years and cost $175 billion. Experts say it is not yet possible to construct such a defense system for intercontinental ballistic missiles and that such a project could cost as much as $542 billion.

When a reporter asked Trump about the cost, Trump claimed “we can afford to do it…we took in $5.1 trillion in the last four days in the Middle East,” a wildly made-up number. Such a system would likely benefit at least one person: it would depend on thousands of satellites, a requirement that seems likely to benefit billionaire Elon Musk’s SpaceX.

Administration officials today seemed to illustrate their utter disregard for the work their jobs require and their refusal to govern for Americans. Instead, they seem to see their offices as ways to get access to large amounts of money and power they can use to impose their will on the country.

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[shiorihoshino]

Where Ruin Remembers

When Reality Fractures [Part 2]

When Reality Fractures | 1 | 2 [here currently] | 3 | 4 | 5 | Echoes in the Snow | 1 |

A rush of red and green blocked out your vision, swirling together in a mess of colors as the world spun on its axis. Or, so you think before your rolling came to a stop, laughter spilling out of your lips. The chest your head rested on jostling you as it rose and fell, matching your sounds of joy.

You gave a few light slap to the plane, giggling. Your attempt to lessen the jostling fruitless. On the contrary, more chuckles rushed out. The action bouncing your body more.

Seeing that failed, your hands covered the other's mouth and nose, hoping the lack of air would force them still. Instead, you received a light nip to your finger, a smirk adoring the culprit's lips. Yelping, you jolted back, though, not much as the other's arms kept you caged against them.

You huffed out a name, pretending to be annoyed. It would have worked if not for the sparkle in your eyes and smile on your lips. Then again, even if you had none of those, the other would not have been deceived. Their smirk ever on their lips, eyes shining with mirth and smugness.

A large clawed hand helped you sit up proper, gentle but firm all the same. You busied yourself sweeping off the scattered flower petals from your dress, brushing them to the floor. Head bowed and unaware of soft fond eyes.

You blinked, glancing up from beneath your lashes as you felt careful hands plucking petals from your hair. You did not protest, sitting still and letting the hand do as it pleased without complaint. Well.. Until it sneak under your chin, nudging your eyes up to meet carmine. You always loved them... If rubies could be eyes, this would be what they look like. Deep, a bottomless warm priceless sea that glimmer and shine like stars in the sky, never to be put out.

Clawed hand rubbing your own pulled you from your thoughts. You blink, glancing between beautiful eyes and deadly but careful fingers. Curious, you watched as your hand was guided to the hemi-octahedron ruby embedded in the strong muscular chest. Just shy of touching if you stretch out your finger, lifting ever so slight...

Blood... So much blood...

Your frenzied eyes darted from his chest to the sides, hoping, praying for anything to help lessen the flow. Your feeble muscles straining, pitiful and weak, as you struggled and failed to remove the great sword jabbed deep into where his gem should be. The shattered remains of the stone laid by both your feet.

He's bleeding.. He's bleeding so much.. He's going to.. to...

Your throat squeezed and scratched, the familiar ache bringing your awareness to the fact you were screaming. Or, at least, you thought you were. Your ears had a deafening ring, rendering you unable to perceive any and all sound. Yet even without your hearing, you could feel the sobs wrecking through your body, the clog in your throat and the stinging of your eyes.

Your mouth moved once more, though, you did not register any of the shape it made. Your sight blurred with your tears, no matter how much you tried to blink them away, they clung stubborn to your lashes. In your desperation, your eyes locked with carmine and you broke, shattered until nothing remained.

A gasp ripped out of your mouth, eyes flying open. Your hand scrambled for purchase, clawing at your chest as you forced your body up. Your head ached from the sudden motion, the dizziness and nausea following straight after.

Your free hand clutched at the armrest of the couch you were on, chest heaving for air. To settle the dizziness and nausea or to force back the dam of rushing water building, you didn't know. You didn't have the mental capability to think and find out either, mind a mess of hazy memories, thoughts and emotions.

A deep soothing voice battered into your chaotic mind, stilling you. The sound of double doors swinging open reached you, the person stepping into the room. "You're finally awake. I didn't pay you to arrive just barely on time and then fall asleep—"

The voice drifted to a halt, eyes scanning your messy form from head to toe in rapid succession. Hurried footsteps thump against the carpeted floor, fabric rustling before a gentle hand grab your chin. Your glistening eyes forced up to meet the stern orbs of your boss. The hold unyielding, leaving no room for arguments, all in one motion despite the lack of words exchanged between you two.

"I..." You managed to choke out before a sniffle interrupted you. The storm of emotions you could not place a name on spilling the moment you locked eyes.

Your boss caress your cheek with a thumb, the motion cautious but assured. Lips parted, whispered words shushing you. Your sniffles followed the command, dying down along with your tears. Glistening eyes blinked, lashes heavy with lingering dampness, meeting with the watchful eyes of your employer.

Swallowing a lump, you averted your gaze, dislodging the hand stuck under your chin. You cleared your throat, preoccupied with dampening the heat in your cheeks, unable to notice how those fingers hesitated from moving away. Unable to see how liquid rubies refroze, your boss's posture straightening and the distance between you both returned.

A scoff entered your ear amiss your scramble to wipe your waterworks. "It's late, I'll handle the rest myself." Your head lifted, gawking at your boss, who raised their chin up. "Go, it's already past closing time. I'm not paying for overtime."

Eyes narrowed, you returned the expression, feelings stomped down. "I didn't expect you to." You searched around the couch, snatching your shoulder bag the moment you spotted it. "You're a real cheapskate despite being a billionaire."

You pushed yourself up, hair whipping as you spun to storm out the door. Although, you didn't manage to step from the couch as a hand clasp around your wrist. A firm yank had you collide with hard planes of your boss's chest. The motion disorientated you, eyes blinking rapidly to rid the blur.

"You have a mouth on you, even when the one you're sassing is your superior."

Bristling, you tugged to free your wrist, teeth gritted. "Let go!"

Your boss huff out a chuckle, eyes crinkling at your pitiful attempt to free yourself. Deciding to not agitate you further after whatever nightmare had you so frazzled, your wrist was released soon after. The unexpected action had you stumbling backwards, near tripping over your inky heels.

The moment you caught yourself, you threw a glare up at your employer. Who, unfazed, threw a coat over you head, blinding you. You yelled out, hands flailing out to pull down the thick black blazer. The scene further amusing your employer who took mercy and stepped closer to help.

"The night's cold." A flick of their hands and the blazer that once covered your head now rest on your shoulders, wrapped around your form. The article of clothing dwarfing your figure, not surprising since it belonged to your unfairly tall boss. "If you're found sick after exiting my building, I'll be forced to compensate you."

You huffed, holding the blazer front closed. "Of course that's what you're worried about..." You grumbled under your breath, lips pulled down at the corners.

"Come on, I'm taking you home."

[writingmeraki]

eyes don't lie masterlist

a roronoa zoro series !

summary : In a twisted series of events that rendered you useless and completely hopeless, you would laugh at yourself if you knew that a cheery ball of sunshine and his crew of crooked pirates would end up saving your life and apparently also changing the whole trajectory of what you'd always thought was your future.

( or in which you learn what it's like to live as you embark on a journey with the supposed king of pirates and his crew where one particular mold green headed dumbass always irked you in ways you couldn't really describe. )

genre : fluff, angst, romance, humor ( as always, attempts of it ) pairing : live-action!roronoa zoro x gn!reader, s2e2l, strangers!2enemies!2lovers!,reader is a martial artist and a knifeman. warnings : death, cussing, kissing, suggestive content in the future, violence, mentions of weapons, warnings will be added for each chapter.

also ft : the rest of the cast of the live-action one piece series.

start date : 18/02/2024

TAGLIST : open ! ( just send an ask or reply on here )

CHAPTERS !

i. bravery or stupidity ?

ii. welcome aboard !

iii. to be annouced.

author's note : ahh here we gooo, this man has inspired me soo good to write something and actually has removed me from this rough writer's block! so here we have my first official written series on here 💀 I honestly don't know how long it'll be but it might be long/medium length! hope you guys enjoy this as much as I do and together we shall simp for this beautiful human being <3 also changing up my style and adding the author's note at the end cause I realised if I add it in the beginning, it looks so long sjshsksk but also guys I promise I haven't forgotten any of the requests even the very old ones, I'll literally trt to finish those too during this time, just yk when inspo hits, it hits. have a good day <3 !

!!! also based only of knowledge from live action ( yes ik some might get offended if I don't include stuff from the manga/anime so imma be honest and say idk anything other than the live-action!)

all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri.do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest. I don't own any of the characters from the movie, rightfully belonging to One Piece creators and the Netflix franchise and also this is a fictional work, not relating to any of the cast in real life.

writingmeraki Ⓒ 2023-24

[jabutipiranga]

What if Perseus were a boss in Hades?

Something I really liked in the first game was how the first bosses, the Furies, take turns. I was a bit let down when that wasn't the same for the bosses in Asphodel and Elysium, so I thought it would be fun to speculate how the moveset of other characters from Greek mythology would be like in Supergiant's gameplay philosophy.

In this idea of mine, Perseus (title: "Hero of Mycenae") would take turns with Theseus and Asterius as the final boss of Elysium. Like Theseus, Perseus starts his fight with 4 main attacks:

Harpe Swipe: Perseus slashes with his harpe — the mythical adamantine, sickle-like sword he used to behead Medusa — whenever Zagreus is nearby, dealing damage. In his second phase, he performs a rapid three-hit combo with the harpe.

Discus Throw: Perseus takes aim and hurls a discus in Zagreus’ direction. If it misses the player, it will ricochet off the arena's walls once before potentially striking Zagreus again. This move is inspired by the myth in which Perseus accidentally kills his grandfather, Acrisius, with a discus throw gone awry during the athletic games of a king — fulfilling the prophecy of his birth. In his second phase, the discus will ricochet three times before breaking.

Aerial Strike: Perseus uses Hermes' winged boots to fly up off-screen and marks a spot on the arena, on which he will land with his harpe down and unleash a damaging shockwave on impact. In his second phase, he takes to the air again and performs the move three times in rapid succession.

Darkness: Much like Hades, Perseus uses the Helm of Invisibility to remove all status effects and temporarily render himself invisible, which makes him invulnerable to the player. His footsteps will be visible through the still water that covers parts of the arena, which the player will use as a visual cue to evade his attack. This fight would be a lighter introduction to the invisibility mechanic in the Hades boss fight later on.

Perseus carries the bronze shield he used to look at Medusa's reflection in life, which he will use to block every attack from the front. Due to its reflective surface, Perseus' shield will also deflect every projectile back at Zagreus, dealing damage. The exception is projectiles related to Artemis, which bypass the shield.

Once his health is reduced to 50%, he will enter his second phase and begin to use the Olympian Aid ability. Like Theseus, Perseus will request the assistance of a random Olympian, who will attack Zagreus.

In terms of story, Perseus and Zagreus would bond over time out of their mutual concern for their mothers. Once Perseus learns Zagreus is only trying to see Persephone, he will relate to his cousin's determination to help his mother and respect him as a worthy opponent, lamenting that he will still have to fight him out of Hades' orders.

Extreme Measures: Finally, in the Extreme Measures mode, Perseus will ally himself with none other than Dusa, who will amicably act as his co-boss and fight Zagreus.

What did you guys think?

@sarafangirlart

[notyourmamasdeerbat]

Silly Saturday Sunday

I was tagged in this delightful little prompt by @draco-illius-noctis - hello, dear! Hope you're well! 👋 Have some sleep deprived tinkerer sillies.

“I set up the alignment lense, but the etheric flow is off by at least three. Am I missing something?”

Rook frowned, squinting at the layered bronze apparatus and its various blue runes where it cast out a thick, buzzing line of magic through a glass lens and into its partner mechanism on the workshop bench. It was late. Very late. They'd been at this for hours, trying to puzzle through the scraps of this thing they'd picked up in Arlathan within a crumbling ruin that the blighted deepstalkers had turned into their den. It seemed to have an adverse effect on the Veil, generating barriers that pushed and pulled and had at one point blocked off the tunnel to the Deep Roads entirely– before it had malfunctioned, apparently. 

Rook leaned forward on their stool, wrists draped over their knees. “I don't think so.” 

Bellara huffed, flipping down a few lenses of her own, multicolored glass catching the Fade light on the huge goggles that made her eyes seem comically massive. Fingers flickering with mana, she ran her hands gently over the air around the buzzing artifact, assessing. “But if the flow isn't strong enough, there's nothing included here to magnify the mirror effect. Without it–”

Rook clicked their tongue, an epiphany struggling sleepily to the surface. “Mmm. You could switch out the-” 

“Oh! I am missing something!” Bellara chirped, startling herself as she started to beam at them, pausing to glance into their face with a wide, sparkling grin. “A brain.”

Rook laughed as the Dalish tinkerer set to work at the Veil Jumper’s unspoken suggestion, expertly twisting one of the support disks of the artifact so that its lights flickered and dimmed, removing it and replacing it on a lower rung, doing the same to put another in its place.

Aligned in the correct order, the beam flickered back to life with new intensity, striking the parallel glass and instantly rendering the air around them for maybe ten feet alive with buzzing magic, making their hair stand on end as if by lightning strike. Bellara made a surprised, shrill little “oopf!” sound as she was practically thrust out of her seat with a trilling buzz and a brief flash of light, her massive bun unravelling its edges to poof in all directions like the tail of a startled black cat. 

Rook felt the hair on their arms raise as their bangs lifted off their face, suspended in mid air in gently drifting wisps as sparks of static electricity raced over their skin. The Veil Jumpers looked at each other, assessing the damage, before dissolving into giggles as ripples of the Fade shimmered like oil on water all around them from the central machinery. 

Veil Jumper shenanigans are so precious to me. Tagging anyone who'd like to join in! Hello, beloveds, drink some water! @andthekitchensinkao3 @fenrelmercar @sunny374940 @spinfins @emmieloumay @nevarrantorte @jenn2d2 @hedwigoprah and YOU! 🫵💕

[fearfulfertility]

CONFIDENTIAL INCIDENT REPORT

DRC, Facility Operations Command, Compound Oversight Unit

Date: [REDACTED]

To: Director [REDACTED], DRC

From: Field Commander [REDACTED], FEMA Zone 7, Lincoln Unit

Subject: Incident Report: Uprising in Paternity Compound 112

Executive Summary

This report outlines the successful suppression of a surrogate rebellion within Paternity Compound 112 (formerly Nebraska [REDACTED] University). The uprising was swiftly contained despite heightened tensions. The surrogates, primarily late-term and carrying an above-average number of multiples, were incapacitated mainly by their own physical conditions, leading to minimal resistance and ensuring rapid restoration of order.

I. Incident Overview

Location: Paternity Compound 112, Nebraska, FEMA Zone 7

Timeframe: The uprising began at 6:30 AM and was fully contained within 4 hours.

Surrogates Involved: Approximately [REDACTED] surrogates were involved, with [REDACTED] individuals being the main instigators.

Primary Cause: Reports indicate the rebellion was sparked by grievances over the higher-than-usual embryo insemination quantity and perceived harm done to one "popular" surrogate.

II. Key Factors & Incident Resolution

Physical Limitations: While the initial outbreak of resistance was disorganized, the surrogates’ physical condition ultimately rendered them incapable of sustained movement. Most were too large, heavy, and immobile to participate effectively. This fact was critical in swiftly suppressing the uprising, as surrogates found coordinating or moving beyond their assigned areas challenging.

Containment Response: DRC enforcers deployed standard containment measures, utilizing non-lethal suppression tactics to control the situation. The surrogates were easily corralled back into their units. No fatalities or serious injuries (to surrogates or enforcers) were reported during the suppression phase. [REDACTED] surrogates did go into labor, gave birth, and expired since this report was compiled.

Immediate Discipline: The most vocal surrogates were sedated and isolated to prevent further agitation. The facility remains under increased security surveillance, with all surrogates under tighter control protocols.

III. Incident Timeline

05:45 AM: Overnight staff reported early signs of unrest. Several surrogates were observed agitated and exhibiting increased verbal defiance. Facility security was heightened as a precaution.

"They were on edge, becoming angry or shouting without much prodding. We figured it was just the usual complaints... nothing we couldn’t handle." - Officer [REDACTED], Night Watch

----------------

06:30 AM: Tensions spiked when a new batch of surrogates arrived and mixed with existing residents. When it becomes apparent to the residents that most of the new arrivals are carrying 12-16 babies each, anxiety and agitation spike. Facility staff notified the Field Commander [REDACTED] of the concerned behavior.

"The mood shifted fast. When the new group arrived, you could feel the tension. I could tell some regulars were livid." - Sgt. [REDACTED], Surveillance Team

----------------

07:15 AM: Tensions escalated when a popular surrogate went into active labor. Enforcers delayed removing him from the area (computer records failure), leading to visible distress and outcry from other surrogates. The situation was aggravated further when Enforcers made callous comments about the surrogate’s size, mocking how “large and fat” he had become. Approximately [REDACTED] surrogates began to converge, blocking the main entrance of Paternity Ward [REDACTED].

"It was supposed to be routine grab and go, but the poor guy was about to burst. Then, one of our own had to start cracking jokes. That’s when everything went south. The rest of them just snapped." - Enforcer [REDACTED], Central Wing Security

----------------

07:30 AM: First breach of control. Surrogates began throwing items, verbally abusing staff, dismantling barriers, and physically attacking medical staff. Security personnel responded, issuing warnings and moving to intercept.

"They were yelling, almost incoherently. It was just like raw emotion boiling over. Thankfully, most of them were so pregnant they could barely stand. We didn’t take them seriously until they started pushing past the barriers." - Sgt. [REDACTED], Response Unit

----------------

07:45 AM: Civil disorder spreads to Parternity Wards [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]. Reinforcements were dispatched to contain the situation and resort order. Due to the sheer physical size and immobility of most surrogates, their attempts to advance were limited, with several going into active labor as they struggled to move.

"It was almost pitiful. They were too big... too slow... almost all of them were winded before they could give us any real resistance. Most were so big they could only pass through doors one at a time, or they'd get themselves stuck. We just had to hold the line and watch them tire themselves out." - Officer [REDACTED], Reinforcement Squad

----------------

08:00 AM: More strenuous containment protocols activated. Enforcers deployed non-lethal suppression measures, including tranquilizers, crowd-control barriers, and exploiting prenatal nymphomania, to corral surrogates back into the paternity ward.

"We had the tools ready, but it was overkill. A few of them were so far along they could hardly walk, let alone fight. Still, we couldn’t risk letting them organize." - Lt. [REDACTED], Commanding Officer

----------------

08:20 AM: A significant group of surrogates attempted to barricade themselves inside the main mess hall, but due to the heavy physical burden of late-term pregnancies, they were unable to maintain an effective blockade. Security teams quickly cleared the obstruction.

"They tried to block us out, but you could see they were struggling just to stay upright. A few even dozed off from exhaustion, and two got distracted by hunger and started gorging on what was meant to be lunch. We cleared them out in less than ten minutes." - Enforcer [REDACTED], Central Wing Security

----------------

08:45 AM: Civil disorder declared under control. The majority of surrogates had been subdued and returned to their units. Several agitators were sedated and moved to isolated paternity wards for disciplinary action.

"Once we got the agitators out of the way, the rest just... gave up. They knew they didn’t have a chance. The best they could do was sit on us and hope their fat bellies smothered us." - Sgt. [REDACTED], Response Unit

----------------

09:15 AM: The facility lockdown was lifted. Enforcers conducted sweep inspections to ensure all surrogates were accounted for and secured. Reports confirmed no significant damage to the facility or escape attempts beyond the central access point.

"Routine sweeps confirmed it: they were back in their units, and everything was quiet... a lot of crying and whining for food. It was almost eerie like the whole thing had never happened." - Lt. [REDACTED], Facility Oversight

----------------

IV. Facility Status and Future Precautions

"The same issues that triggered the rebellion ironically were the same factor that ensured its swift failure, as the surrogates' own physical conditions rendered them ineffective rebels." - Field Commander [REDACTED]

Current Facility Status: Operations have fully resumed. The facility was not significantly damaged, and the surrogates have been returned to order.

Security Adjustments: Additional security personnel have been deployed, and increased monitoring of the surrogates’ psychological state has been mandated to identify signs of future unrest.

Policy Recommendations:

▪ Adjust Communication Channels: Control information flow among surrogates to limit rumors spread within the facility. Implement regular check-ins to provide controlled updates or propaganda to reduce panic and misinformation. ▪ Regular Evaluations: Increased oversight and potential isolation of late-term surrogates about to give birth. ▪ Evaluation of Insemination Practices: Review current insemination standards to prevent future overstrain. While higher embryo counts increase birth output, they may also elevate the risk of provoking resistance.

Conclusion

While the uprising in Lincoln was contained quickly, it underscores the potential dangers of pushing surrogates beyond their physical limits. The facility’s decision to increase embryo counts contributed to the unrest but inadvertently ensured the rebellion’s failure. The DRC must balance productivity with stability, ensuring that surrogates remain physically capable of compliance, even as we seek to maximize output. Additional surveillance and controlled information channels will be vital in maintaining order.

Report submitted by: Field Commander [REDACTED], Lincoln Unit, FEMA Zone 7

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Sending…

Sending...

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To: Assistant Director [REDACTED], Lincoln Unit, FEMA Zone 7

From: Director [REDACTED], DRC

Subject: Response to Surrogate Uprising Report

Field Commander [REDACTED],

I have reviewed your report on the recent uprising within the Lincoln facility, and I must express my displeasure at the situation. Such incidents reflect poorly on the DRC’s capacity to maintain order, and it is imperative that all units operate without disruption to ensure the eventual survival of our nation.

The delay in removing the surrogate in active labor and the subsequent provocation by your personnel were avoidable missteps. In light of this, I am dispatching a special assessment team to Lincoln to thoroughly review the facility’s operations, security protocols, and staff conduct.

They will be empowered to make recommendations for disciplinary action where necessary and provide guidance on how to prevent similar disruptions in the future.

That said, your report has also highlighted an intriguing outcome.

The extreme size and weight of the surrogates, carrying 12-16 babies each, clearly played a significant role in ensuring that the situation remained manageable. Their physical incapacity, due to the high-multiples pregnancies, was evidently a decisive factor in keeping this incident from escalating further.

The assessment team will also examine the potential benefits of intentionally increasing embryo counts to control more rebellious compounds or cities elsewhere in the country. If surrogates carrying higher multiples can be rendered less mobile and more compliant, we may have a strategic advantage in maintaining order without excessive force.

While high-multiples pregnancies have their logistical challenges, their ability to limit resistance could prove invaluable to our overall mission.

I expect full cooperation from you and your staff during the assessment, and I trust you understand the importance of this review.

The DRC must remain vigilant, adaptable, and ready to implement whatever measures are necessary to ensure compliance and stability.

Regards, Director [REDACTED], DRC

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Amazon Alexa is a graduate of the Darth Vader MBA

Next Tuesday (Oct 31) at 10hPT, the Internet Archive is livestreaming my presentation on my recent book, The Internet Con.

If you own an Alexa, you might enjoy its integration with IFTTT, an easy scripting environment that lets you create your own little voice-controlled apps, like "start my Roomba" or "close the garage door." If so, tough shit, Amazon just nuked IFTTT for Alexa:

https://www.theverge.com/2023/10/25/23931463/ifttt-amazon-alexa-applets-ending-support-integration-automation

Amazon can do this because the Alexa's operating system sits behind a cryptographic lock, and any tool that bypasses that lock is a felony under Section 1201 of the DMCA, punishable by a 5-year prison sentence and a $500,000 fine. That means that it's literally a crime to provide a rival OS that lets users retain functionality that Amazon no longer supports.

This is the proverbial gun on the mantelpiece, a moral hazard and invitation to mischief that tempts Amazon executives to run a bait-and-switch con where they sell you a gadget with five features and then remotely kill-switch two of them. This is prime directive of the Darth Vader MBA: "I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further."

So many companies got their business-plan at the Darth Vader MBA. The ability to revoke features after the fact means that companies can fuck around, but never find out. Apple sold millions of tracks via iTunes with the promise of letting you stream them to any other device you owned. After a couple years of this, the company caught some heat from the record labels, so they just pushed an update that killed the feature:

https://memex.craphound.com/2004/10/30/apple-to-ipod-owners-eat-shit-and-die-updated/

That gun on the mantelpiece went off all the way back in 2004 and it turns out it was a starter-pistol. Pretty soon, everyone was getting in on the act. If you find an alert on your printer screen demanding that you install a "security update" there's a damned good chance that the "update" is designed to block you from using third-party ink cartridges in a printer that you (sorta) own:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/11/ink-stained-wretches-battle-soul-digital-freedom-taking-place-inside-your-printer

Selling your Tesla? Have fun being poor. The upgrades you spent thousands of dollars on go up in a puff of smoke the minute you trade the car into the dealer, annihilating the resale value of your car at the speed of light:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/23/how-to-fix-cars-by-breaking-felony-contempt-of-business-model/

Telsa has to detect the ownership transfer first. But once a product is sufficiently cloud-based, they can destroy your property from a distance without any warning or intervention on your part. That's what Adobe did last year, when it literally stole the colors from your Photoshop files, in history's SaaSiest heist caper:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/28/fade-to-black/#trust-the-process

And yet, when we hear about remote killswitches in the news, it's most often as part of a PR blitz for their virtues. Russia's invasion of Ukraine kicked off a new genre of these PR pieces, celebrating the fact that a John Deere dealership was able to remotely brick looted tractors that had been removed to Chechnya:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/08/about-those-kill-switched-ukrainian-tractors/

Today, Deere's PR minions are pitching search-and-replace versions of this story about Israeli tractors that Hamas is said to have looted, which were also remotely bricked.

But the main use of this remote killswitch isn't confounding war-looters: it's preventing farmers from fixing their own tractors without paying rent to John Deere. An even bigger omission from this narrative is the fact that John Deere is objectively Very Bad At Security, which means that the world's fleet of critical agricultural equipment is one breach away from being rendered permanently inert:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/23/reputation-laundry/#deere-john

There are plenty of good and honorable people working at big companies, from Adobe to Apple to Deere to Tesla to Amazon. But those people have to convince their colleagues that they should do the right thing. Those debates weigh the expected gains from scammy, immoral behavior against the expected costs.

Without DMCA 1201, Amazon would have to worry that their decision to revoke IFTTT functionality would motivate customers to seek out alternative software for their Alexas. This is a big deal: once a customer learns how to de-Amazon their Alexa, Amazon might never recapture that customer. Such a switch wouldn't have to come from a scrappy startup or a hacker's DIY solution, either. Take away DMCA 1201 and Walmart could step up, offering an alternative Alexa software stack that let you switch your purchases away from Amazon.

Money talks, bullshit walks. In any boardroom argument about whether to shift value away from customers to the company, a credible argument about how the company will suffer a net loss as a result has a better chance of prevailing than an argument that's just about the ethics of such a course of action:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/microincentives-and-enshittification/

Inevitably, these killswitches are pitched as a paternalistic tool for protecting customers. An HP rep once told me that they push deceptive security updates to brick third-party ink cartridges so that printer owners aren't tricked into printing out cherished family photos with ink that fades over time. Apple insists that its ability to push iOS updates that revoke functionality is about keeping mobile users safe – not monopolizing repair:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/22/vin-locking/#thought-differently

John Deere's killswitches protect you from looters. Adobe's killswitches let them add valuable functionality to their products. Tesla? Well, Tesla at least is refreshingly honest: "We have a killswitch because fuck you, that's why."

These excuses ring hollow because they conspicuously omit the possibility that you could have the benefits without the harms. Like, your tractor could come with a killswitch that you could bypass, meaning you could brick it at a distance, and still fix it yourself. Same with your phone. Software updates that take away functionality you want can be mitigated with the ability to roll back those updates – and by giving users the ability to apply part of a patch, but not the whole patch.

Cloud computing and software as a service are a choice. "Local first" computing is possible, and desirable:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/03/there-is-no-cloud/#only-other-peoples-computers

The cheapest rhetorical trick of the tech sector is the "indivisibility gambit" – the idea that these prix-fixe menus could never be served a la carte. Wanna talk to your friends online? Sorry there's just no way to help you do that without spying on you:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/08/divisibility/#technognosticism

One important argument over smart-speakers was poisoned by this false dichotomy: the debate about accessibility and IoT gadgets. Every IoT privacy or revocation scandal would provoke blanket statements from technically savvy people like, "No one should ever use one of these." The replies would then swiftly follow: "That's an ableist statement: I rely on my automation because I have a disability and I would otherwise be reliant on a caregiver or have to go without."

But the excluded middle here is: "No one should use one of these because they are killswitched. This is especially bad when a smart speaker is an assistive technology, because those applications are too important to leave up to the whims of giant companies that might brick them or revoke their features due to their own commercial imperatives, callousness, or financial straits."

Like the problem with the "bionic eyes" that Second Sight bricked wasn't that they helped visually impaired people see – it was that they couldn't be operated without the company's ongoing support and consent:

https://spectrum.ieee.org/bionic-eye-obsolete

It's perfectly possible to imagine a bionic eye whose software can be maintained by third parties, whose parts and schematics are widely available. The challenge of making this assistive technology fail gracefully isn't technical – it's commercial.

We're meant to believe that no bionic eye company could survive unless they devise their assistive technology such that it fails catastrophically if the business goes under. But it turns out that a bionic eye company can't survive even if they are allowed to do this.

Even if you believe Milton Friedman's Big Lie that a company is legally obligated to "maximize shareholder value," not even Friedman says that you are legally obligated to maximize companies' shareholder value. The fact that a company can make more money by defrauding you by revoking or bricking the things you buy from them doesn't oblige you to stand up for their right to do this.

Indeed, all of this conduct is arguably illegal, under Section 5 of the FTC Act, which prohibits "unfair and deceptive business practices":

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/10/the-courage-to-govern/#whos-in-charge

"No one should ever use a smart speaker" lacks nuance. "Anyone who uses a smart speaker should be insulated from unilateral revocations by the manufacturer, both through legal restrictions that bind the manufacturer, and legal rights that empower others to modify our devices to help us," is a much better formulation.

It's only in the land of the Darth Vader MBA that the deal is "take it or leave it." In a good world, we should be able to take the parts that work, and throw away the parts that don't.

(Image: Stock Catalog/https://www.quotecatalog.com, Sam Howzit; CC BY 2.0; modified)

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/26/hit-with-a-brick/#graceful-failure