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mobagehelllocal · 3 years

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“lucky ending” extra notes i & iii

Hi, I said I would do it but then I released ver i so long ago that I felt I shouldn't do this unless I had another version out at least so yay! finally! ... I'll add ver ii here when I get around to writing it... *shifty eyes* So as usual, this is just my thought process and ideas while writing lol.

*please do not read if you haven’t read “lucky ending” ver i (dorm leaders) & ver iii (rook & lilia).

It was inspired by an anon ask and the button tradition from Japanese schools.

The anon ask went like this: First at all, I like do much your writing and I hope you are doing well. Second, I was wondering what would happen if the MC (Fem!s/o I guess) decided to not go back to her world, like she decide stay with her villain? Can you do make headcanons of this for the dorm leaders? Thank you very much. – from Anonymous

The button tradition, as narrated by the first years, is done when one person confesses and the other responds by giving them the button closest to their heart. In most Japanese uniforms it’s the second uniform, but in Twisted Wonderland--I looked at the ceremonial robes and the closest button should be the fifth. Maybe. I could be wrong.

The songs I listened to while writing this!

The original dorm leaders (and Rook) was written while listening to “Lucky Ending”, the ending theme of Fruits Basket. The English lyrics (translated by otenkiame!) are:

“Change is important. I want to do it well,/ but I wanna cry. It's still bad. I wanna cry”

“The word "goodbye" has disappeared completely from this world/ All that remains is me fooling around next to you/A day you don't laugh won't come anymore”

“I've understood it since being here/ These feelings of wanting to protect you aren't a misunderstanding/ If we can call what connects us bonds,/ everything changes/ everybody changes/ Even if in a different world, it'll never be different/ everything changes/ everybody changes/ Don't change, ever/ Stay here, stay here”

I think it’s obvious why I chose to use this as the title of the series. It’s a story about change but it’s also a story about the things you don’t want to change... And I think it’s not wrong to want to hold onto things.

I also listened to the same playlist that I listened to while writing “wendy?” “hello peter pan”:

“Can’t help falling in love” cover by Annapantsu, “If you’re not the one” by David Beddingfield, “Who Knew” by P!nk and “All Too Well” by Taylor Swift.

For Lilia in particular, I was listening to three Beauty and the Beast songs on loop. “Evermore” by Josh Groban, “Days in the Sun” by the live action cast and, of course--”How does a moment last forever” by Celine Dion.

“How does a moment last forever?/ How can a story never die?/ It is love we must hold onto/ Never easy, but we try/ Sometimes our happiness is captured/ Somehow, our time and place stand still/ Love lives on inside our hearts and always will”

Also for Lilia, Tolerate It by Taylor Swift.

“You're so much older and wiser and I/ I wait by the door like I'm just a kid”

“I made you my temple, my mural, my sky/Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life”

Malleus was definitely the first piece finished. Closely followed by Vil’s. I believe there was a gap inbetween them before I did the others? I wrote bits and pieces of Leona, Idia, Kalim and Azul’s. I think I finished Leona, Idia, Kalim then Riddle because I distinctly remember saving Azul for last.

One of the most important things for me, is that each story stands distinct of each other. So I gave myself a really hard time trying to figure out how each one uniquely belonged to each of the characters.

For the Prologue... I think because it’s set at the graduation of certain characters, I used that to my advantage and implied the stronger bonds between the Yuu!Reader and the entirety of the cast. Because a lot of time has passed and I feel like--regardless of what other people believe, bonds will be made and relationships will have strengthened enough for it to happen.

Riddle is honestly another really difficult character for me to write. I generally do love him and I enjoy his story, but something about him is difficult and I’m not sure why.

I think a part of me is also really miffed because from Heartslabyul-Savanaclaw, you could feel that Riddle really cared for Yuu on some level but then he just straight up disappears come Octavinelle chapter. I feel like there was potential to develop their relationship even more.

He WENT UP AND TIED YOUR RIBBON I REMEMBER I WENT DOKI DOKI OVER THAT.

I feel like because I’ve established that it’s a Yuu!Reader, it’s impossible for this story to not include both Ace and Deuce. So of course they featured in really big roles for this one, being responsible for telling Riddle the story.

I have to thank my friend, Mes, for bouncing ideas with me. They were the one who suggested what I could do with Riddle’s story by having ADeuce play such a big part!

I also tried my hardest to include Trey and Cater, and I’m pretty happy with their cameo. In a way, they definitely helped Riddle figure out his own feelings for you.

My favourite lines are: “I think you earned that much. I don’t believe anyone’s ever been in your situation before so—there’s no right or wrong about what you’re doing. It’s all about what you want to do.”

I wish someone would tell this to Yuu in general though. They’re the only one who has ever been in their situation (to our knowledge at least) and like... they’re definitely allowed to be even more selfish.

Leona is someone who I used to dislike a lot. I never hid that. It’s primarily because of how disappointed I am in the story of Savanaclaw probably. But like, I was always concerned about writing him properly because I thought that it was only right that I did right by him, because there would be people reading these stories who loved him. And I felt like I had to do right by that love.

I think... it’s wrong to believe that characters... villains... cannot fall in love or “won’t fall in love.” I think it’s wrong also to think that “people don’t change for love.”

In fact, people do change. You definitely shouldn’t change yourself to be loved, but... people change all the time to be their “better” selves. So whose to say that a good person, who you love, will not make you want to improve yourself? Isn’t that what we want when we meet people? To fall in love with someone who will ultimately make you better and never worse.

Or so that’s how I try to write the Twisted characters when they fall in love... With an understanding that “morally” the person they are falling for is “kind” and “good” and how a part of them might just want to be better just for that person. (Especially Leona and Azul). They don’t necessarily have to be nice to everyone, but if they can be better for one person... We stan healthy character growth.

But yeah, Leona is driven by understanding that he’s a very selfish person. But that he’s also very unfortunate and he doesn’t want tie you with someone who, he thinks, is actually worthless. He probably, deeply, thinks you deserve more.

Though his selfishness eventually wins out and well... Won’t you forgive him for it? :) For tying you down to this worthless second prince?

I think his own self-awareness does make him try harder. Not for everyone or everything... but for you. Just for you. I think that would be Leona’s love language--spending time with you, trying for you.

He’d appreciate if you didn’t call him out on it though, that would be very embarrassing.

Looking back, I’m surprised that it was the only version where none of the other boys from his dorm showed up lol. Which means Ruggie is the sole character who has yet to appear in the “lucky ending” series, huh.

My favourite lines from his story that still leaves me breathless and patting my past self in the back: ““I’m home—” you said—even if a part of you felt that home should have been two green eyes, a cocky smirk, and a warm patch of sunlight on the grassy ground.”

Like honestly, what was I on? Who was she?

Azul is, like Leona, someone who is so keenly aware of the things he’s lacking. In fact, he’s someone who thinks he’s lacking when he’s probably perfect in some aspects. He might act proud but a part of him--I think--thinks its not enough. It’s never enough. He can certainly do better still.

In that light, it’s why he thinks he’s undeserving of a partner. Especially one who is “kind” and “understanding.” While ultimately, Azul deserves people in his life who are that and “accepting” of him--I think he still thinks he doesn’t.

And thats why he lets go of the Yuu!Reader. It’s why he doesn’t “chase” after her like Leona did.

It’s because he’s selfish, because he wants her--that he forces himself to let go.

Azul needs someone who’ll tell him that he is worth something and that he’s definitely worth the effort. So please praise him a lot until he’s crying in happiness. I’m sure it’s the one thing he’s always wanted to hear from people around him.

Also my Poly!Octavinelle Agenda has never died and I am pleased Past!Ai got away with so much Poly!Octa hints in this story lol. But honestly, regardless of wht Octavinelle says... god, you can tell they genuinely care about each other.

I recently rewatched Octavinelle’s chapter and... by god, the amount of things I missed out on first watch. Jade’s concern when he realized Azul wanted to get rid of that photo... The fact Floyd was so willing to drop the fight to return to Azul too... Anyways, Poly!Octa Agenda for life.

Favourite lines: “Azul’s pathetic whimpers turned into guttural sobs. His fingers spread to cover his eyes—and his glasses slid off his face, down to his lap and then to the ground—at his actions. His whole body shook as he cried his heart out.”

It’s not as poetic as a lot of my other favourites, but for some reason these lines always get me when I reread them. There’s something so visceral about it.

Azul’s piece is probably the least visually stimulating out of all these stories? His was so emotionally driven compared to the others and I worried a lot about that.

I think I remember I was crying so badly as I was writing this.

Kalim is really hard for me because I feel like I struggle a lot with finding conflict in his character? He’s such a genuinely nice person, I find it hard to believe that the Yuu!Reader would feel alienated from him or something. So I brought in “environment” to get in the way.

My use of celestial imagery for Kalim is because of the Scarabia trailer! I really loved how it put Kalim as the sun and Jamil as the moon. I definitely will take advantage of that when I get around to writing for Jamil.

So because I wanted to use the sun, I chose to use the idea of comets for Kalim? I think I remember something about how meteors are drawn to the gravitation pull of the sun and can “escape” it or “be destroyed” by it. Haha, hot.

Jamil is someone who ultimately cares about Kalim too and I had fun writing his banter with the Yuu!Reader. I think I wanted to decribe the shadows licking his face reminscent to the marks from his Overblot but... I felt like doing that would give Jamil too much focus so I ultimately decided against it.

It would’ve been hot though.

Oh yes, one thing I wanted to talk about is Kalim’s rushed proposal. I remember people talking about it in the tags, comments... even in asks at that time. The reason he does it is because he’s someone who didn’t realize his feelings until you spelled out your own. It was a sort of: “Oh. Right. That is the word I’d use to describe my feelings.”

My favourite lines from his story is: “How does one bid goodbye to the sun?” and “No one ever willingly bids goodbye to the sun.They spend the rest of their lives trying to find the right way back to it.”

My god, who was this genius.

Vil is probably the most visually stunning out of all these stories. I feel like my stories go from super vivid imagery and setting to just complete emotional disasters lol. (Vil being the former and Azul’s being the latter... not that it’s bad, it actually suits the characters).

Oh man, I remember thinking that Vil is such a hard character to write because we don’t know what his motivation for perfection is. All we knows is that he wants to be the best but, why?

It’s like, for example, Idia. His motivations could be otaku-related. He doesn’t want to go to class because he’d rather go play or something. That sounds in character--but Vil was so hard because he wanted perfection.

But we already see him as such a perfect character, so what else did he need to be even more perfect? In that light, Chapter 5 did a really good job on presenting Vil’s motivations.

But honestly, I think I can comfortably say that the Vil I’ve written so far is pretty accurate? To his character. I’m really grateful I read his chat lines because his comment about intelligence really got me thinking about his possible motivations. It made it really easy to understand that Vil wasn’t like majority of the real world’s influencers.

One other thing that I was really happy about with his story is the use of the flower language. It’s something I hope I can use more because it’s so beautiful.

Oh! And the roses the Yuu!Reader talks about are double delight roses. They are specifically bred to have two colors--yellow in the center and pink on the outside. I thought it fitting that the Yuu!Reader breed special roses for Vil.

They can be called... err... Vil Roses?

My favourite lines from his story is: ““My happiness will not be dictated by others—no, Vil Schoenheit is a person who will grasp happiness with his own hands.” [...] “I’m giving you this button because I’ve already found happiness by your side.””

This line was actually inspired by Zelda C.W.’s MYth series. Specifically Hera’s story, Will.

Idia ...for him, I somehow had a very hard time imagining him trying to tell the reader to stay. Like that didn’t compute for me? I felt like his version was better approached in a more comedic light somehow.

I also felt that it would be cuter if the Yuu!Reader had already chosen to stay and Idia would need to hastily retrack his confession... Unfortunately, Yuu!Reader won’t let him.

Honestly looking back on it, I wonder how much of Chapter 6 is going to make me scream and want to rewrite Idia’s part?

My favourite lines from his story is: “He was never particularly good at lying—nor was he good at keeping secrets from you. You were a person he considered a dear friend—and he was always the type of person who ended up spilling everything to you. He liked being able to talk about the things he enjoyed—he liked that he had found someone who wanted to hear him out.”

A lot of my interpretation for Idia is closely linked to personal experience as an anime, manga and gaming fan. It was just a couple of years ago where people would actually be bullied for liking these things--but nowadays its become a norm. It’s... stunning actually but it makes me happy to know that maybe nobody will be judged for loving anime.

That being said, Idia’s longing to find someone he can talk to is something I really relate too--back then, it was so difficult to find someone to talk to about my interests... So I interpreted Idia as much the same. That what he enjoys about the Yuu!Reader is their ability to simply sit and listen to him talk.

Malleus... man, recently I’ve been starting to fall in love with him all over again. He was my first oshi ever... Anyways, moving on. You think I’ve talked enough about immortal x mortal but nope, we are not done. I love this theme in general, romantic or platonic.

I will never shut up about it you can’t make me.

Sebek having a good enough friendship with Yuu!Reader is such a delicious concept. Like mutual respect and Sebek understanding that Yuu!Reader gives Malleus a different type of companionship that Sebek, Silver or Lilia couldn’t...

And also, ultimately, Sebek and Yuu!Reader do love Malleus. In different ways, but I like the thought of Sebek respecting that and respecting the Yuu!Reader.

Me realizing just now that Silver joins Ruggie in the: “has never appeared in a lucky ending fic club.”... Sorry Silver, I swear soon. Once we get more content on you.

Celestial themes for Malleus are primarily, again, because he only ever seemed to meet you at night. And I thought it would be wonderful, if you were a bright spark to him.

Favourite lines are definitely: “Oh, bright light… I would prefer to live the rest of your life by your side… rather than spend centuries contemplating what it could have felt… to hold you in my arms.”

I am, always, going to be such a big sucker for the idea of immortals constantly remembering and loving mortals. Always holding them close in their memories, because in that way--their lovers have become immortal with them.

I also like to imagine that he eventually figures out a way to connect your worlds together so you can still talk to your friends and family from that world. He is one of the most powerful magicians around, I’m sure its possible.

Rook was honestly the most difficult piece for me to write because he’s so hard(?) for me to understand. He’s a mess of contradictions honestly and I... guess I’m excited to see what he’ll do come Chapter 6.

I actually rewrote his story so much. I got about 500 words with a different idea/plot in mind before deleting that completely and restarting from scratch.

I feel like Rook is someone who talks big and talks about love without actually knowing what it truly might feel like. He’s someone who doesn’t understand it and ends up mistaking it for his fascination.

Aside from me enjoying inserting other characters from the same dorm as much as possible, I felt that Vil was the perfect person to snap some sense into Rook.

Epel’s appearance there is basically to reflect how much I really hope the first year kids get really close to one another.

Rook is also someone who I think, doesn’t try to explain himself too much. He’s someone who I think talks a lot, but if people don’t understand him then he doesn’t need to be understood? That’s my impression. Lol, when “lucky ending” became a character study.

I also really loved the idea that Rook was fine with people running from him--to him that makes it all the more thrilling. But then you start running away from him and that just ends up making dread pool in his stomach.

My favourite lines from his story: “‘When something ends, it must be sad. So, tell me then, how an ending could be so beautiful?’ [...] .‘But there was one ending that was beautiful, non?’ [...] ‘That’s right. ‘They lived happily ever after’—are those not the words that define a beautiful ending?’”

I used the dusk metaphor for Rook. My idea is that he starts seeing dusk as an ending and how he can’t fathom how any “ending” is beautiful. When a story ends, it’s not beautiful to him, humu. But when that ending is the happily ever after then... That makes all the difference.

Lilia was actually easier than Rook’s but also fairly difficult. I had written the middle of Lilia’s piece while stumped on Rook’s actually. Lilia’s was probably easier because I love the idea of immortals and mortals.

I don’t really like the idea of mortals becoming immortals. Like, yes, it’s certainly sweet and spending eternity with a one true love is definitely the best possible ending but... I think there’s so much weight in an immortal choosing to love a mortal while knowing that they will ultimately lose them.

The biggest theme for Lilia is definitely time.

Thinking about it now... There’s been a lot of things in real life that’s just... Made me think about how we have less time than we actually think we have. And I think I ended up channeling that through Lilia... Though I feel like it is ultimately things Lilia would think about though.

The most important imagery would probably be the stars.

I honestly wanted to avoid it because I used celestial imagery for both Kalim and Malleus but the words just flowed out in a way that I felt that I couldn’t replace. So I went with it.

Lilia is no stranger to loneliness. One of the reasons he feels less alone is because he has family now and he doesn’t want to rob you of that. Family is so important to him because they are people who are meant to be with you--they are people who will make you less lonely--or so thats how I think? he thinks.

My favourite lines from his story: “He would relish in the way—You made the world pause. You made a moment extend into an eternity. You made an immortal crave just a little more time.”

I’m so immensely proud of this one? I don’t really have much else to say. There’s something so raw about it that I love. Also the part where it continues on to say that “Because there is never enough time.”

Me realizing my extra notes is just half me simping over these characters, half sharing headcanons, have actually giving good advice? perspective?, half song lyrics, half character study/analysis?

“lucky ending” is about change. Whether we want them to happen or not it’s... the human condition to change. For better or worse, we change--day by day. I think we all operate under a small panic about how everyday things are changing...

But “lucky ending” is also about the things that don’t change. Won’t change. Will never change. The things worth holding onto, the thing worth fighting for... or so I’d like to think.

#aimuses #ainotes #ai lucky series #twst #twisted wonderland #its 6 AM HEEHOOO

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collecting-stories · 5 years

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Temporary Love - Jess Mariano

A/N: Because I love Jess and I’ve been reading some Beats lately. Based on the song ‘Temporary Love’ by Ben Platt.

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“Dear god, this is abhorrent.” You tossed the book across the desk to where Jess was sitting, revising the last few chapters of his latest novel.

“What did you get a dictionary for Christmas?” He joked, grabbing the book to see what you were reading. It was his Grove Press first edition of The Subterraneans. You’d gifted it to him for Christmas but now it was February and he had yet to get the opportunity to read it.

“You’re hilarious Jess.” You mocked, “it’s like pulling teeth. Has he never heard of a punctuation mark?”

“You say that like you didn’t read the edited and original scroll versions of On the Road back to back.” He remarked, tossing the book back to you before he could get sucked into reading. There was a lot of editing to be done on his own novel before he could think of picking up someone else’s.

“I was reading the Beats, what was I supposed to do, ignore On the Road?”

“Have you read Matt’s latest, he’s trying to stylise himself that way.” Jess mentioned.

“Not surprising. I think he’s hoping a counter-culture revolution will happen right here in Philly.” You replied, pulling papers out of your backpack. You had essays to grade and had only come by to bother your fiancé about the impending trip home to Connecticut. Which you had yet to do.

“Don’t be so cynical. It could happen.”

“Says the king of cynicism.”

“Ouch,” he laughed, grabbing at his chest, “you’ve really wounded me.”

“So,” you began to prepare to change the subject, almost laughing out loud when Jess put down his pen and leaned back in his chair, appraising you. It was a wonder that he could always tell you were about to say something he wasn’t particularly on board with hearing, “about the trip.”

“What about it?” He had asked you to go up with him for a visit to his uncle’s. He had mentioned to Luke that he was engaged and he wanted his uncle and you to meet. Though there was the matter of returning to Stars Hallow and Rory and Lorelai and everything else that small town Connecticut life had been.

“Well, you’ve been pretty evasive since you mentioned it.”

“What’s evasive about, ‘come home with me’?” Jess asked, refocusing on the manuscript in front of him.

“For starters, you’ve told me nothing about the town. Just that we leave on Friday and we’ll be back on Thursday.” You replied.

“That’s all you need to know.”

“Jess.” You reached across the desk and grabbed the pen from his hand. “Should I expect like a firing squad when I get in there or something?” You had no idea what to expect but you had read his first book and knew plenty about the girl and the life behind the inspiration. He had been still in love with Rory when he met you and that had been fine because you weren’t looking for a relationship. Now you were engaged though and despite the title and the ring on your finger there was still that feeling the bubbled up in your chest whenever you thought of the infamous Rory Gilmore. A stupid fleeting feeling that you wanted nothing to do with but one that existed nonetheless.

“You certainly are feeling dramatic tonight aren’t you?” He joked.

“I’m not being dramatic I’m just wondering...like? I haven’t met anyone from there before.” You replied.

“No one there matters aside from Luke.”

“Okay.”

You took the manuscript pages that Jess had already worked through, grabbing Matt’s green pen from his coffee mug and beginning to read. Your annotations were less grammatical corrections and more comments about things you liked or didn’t. You questioned subplots that felt messy and complimented his writing when you especially loved a part. Jess looked over the desk at you fondly.

There was a lot you already knew about his family but there were gaps in his stories, moments that he didn’t talk about. Sure, you had read his first book and you knew about Rory but not enough to really know her. It was like looking at a silhouette sometimes, you had the shape and the idea but nothing concrete. It didn’t implore the anxiety in you that you thought it would, that you sometimes felt it should. When you had first read the infamous book you weren’t dating and it didn’t matter to you that he seemed still so in love with this small town girl. When you reread it, later into the relationship, you expected that it would feel different but it didn’t. It felt just as beautiful as the first time, more so because you knew Jess so intimately now.

“Are you really worried about going to Stars Hallow?” Jess asked, breaking you from the rough draft of his book.

“No,” you shook your head, “I just feel like I should be.”

“Yeah, cause that makes sense.”

“I know I should be totally weirded out about going up there but I'm honestly okay with it. Kind of excited, honestly.” You mentioned. Truthfully you were excited. A peek into your boyfriend’s life before he was your boyfriend. “I’m not worried, I just wanna know something about it.”

“It’s small.” He replied.

“Wow, thank you. That really helps me.”

“Google it.”

“Jess,” you slumped back into your seat and groaned. He was going to be annoying about this trip, you knew that, and still you were surprised by it.

“There’s nothing special about it.”

“Except that it was your home for a significant few years.”

Jess nodded slowly. “What do you want me to tell you? Certainly wasn’t the worst time I ever had but it was no paradise either.”

“Well no, that’s living with me.” You gloated, smiling when the stoic editing face broke and he laughed.

“Oh yeah? I think that depends on your annotations.”

You shuffled the papers you were reading through into a stack and sat them on your lap, away from Jess. “You’ll see them when I’m finished.”

He watched you lean back in the chair again, papers on your lap as you read through the last pages of his most recent work. You chewed at the end of the red pen you had swiped of Matt’s desk and pulled the sleeves of your Venice Beach tourist sweatshirt down on your hands further. You had gotten it over Christmas, when the two of you had taken a roadtrip out to see his dad, Sasha, and Lily. You’d spent a glorious week getting to know every stray dog that hung around their bungalow and going to the beach. He had proposed on the last day there, rather spontaneously.

“I like this edit to chapter 10,” you mentioned, thumbing through the pages you had already put down so that you reread chapter 10 again now that you had decided you liked it.

“Thank god.” Jess replied, rolling his eyes. It sounded sarcastic but you knew better, a quick glance up found a soft, barely there smile on his face.

When he had met you he was still under the impression that no one would ever mean as much to him as Rory had. He was convinced that she was his one great love and no amount of other girlfriends or dates could change his mind about it. And then somewhere along the way you had weaseled yourself into his life so subtly and wonderfully Rory was just a memory. A great love, a first love, by not you. Not a best friend and a lover. She wasn’t the person he imagined making a life with anymore. You had filled that space, had taken up the room that Rory had left.

“I’m excited to meet Luke,” you said, eyes on the papers as you added comments and underlined favorite bits.

“It’s not a big deal.” Even though he said it both of you knew it wasn’t true. Luke had made a huge impact in his life and he cared about his uncle’s opinion. Even if he thought he hadn’t when he was younger he wasn’t that seventeen year old boy anymore trying to pretend he was cool. He knew who he was and who Luke was to him and he respected Luke. He wanted you and Luke to get along. To like each other.

“It is.” You replied, “will Liz be there?”

“I can’t stop her.”

“Hey, I love your mom, she’s so sweet.”

He hummed and nodded his head.

“Jess.”

“Yeah?” He asked, looking up at you. You were sitting there with your hands clasped over the papers, smiling at him.

“I love you.”

He ducked his head and smiled before looking back up at you, “love you too.”

Has anyone ever not been Team Jess? I’m rewatching now and sorry, he’s my favorite emotionally unavailable problematic boyfriend.

#jess mariano x reader #jess mariano imagine #jess mariano fanfic #jess mariano fanfiction #Gilmore girls imagine #Gilmore girls fanfic #Gilmore girls fanfiction #collecting stories imagine #cs discography series

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bossladytae · 4 years

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Gintama Ask Game

Thank you to @claymorecut for tagging me! Most kind of you.

Last time you watched/read Gintama? Red Spider arc in the spring. Courtesan of a Nation arc prior to that. The odd episode or two here and there. Since the final chapter debuted, I haven’t done much rereading or rewatching, or even keeping up with new anime/manga releases as regularly as I used to (other than Rengoku ni Warau – I recommend picking that manga series up and enjoying gorgeous artwork by Karakara Kemuri, one of my most favourite manga artists).

Favorite male character? Takasugi, Hijikata, and Katsura.

Favorite female character? Tae and Tsukuyo.

Favorite female character design? • Tsukuyo’s design is unique, especially when you factor in parallels. • Catherine’s because she’s such an unconventional, subversive, and hilarious “cat girl.”

Favorite male character design? • Takasugi is unforgettable, enough said. He makes everything look good. • Sakamoto because I like the combination of his hairstyle, sunglasses, and long red coat. • Saitou because the hair, the uniform, the twin swords? He’s a cool and awkward introvert. • Bansai because of the shamisen doubling as a weapon, and his penchant for music.

Best squad? Diamond Perfume.

Most underrated character? • Sadaharu, the unsung hero. Where would the Yorozuya – no, the world – be without him? • Zenzou. Look past the hemorrhoids. • Mutsu. Her Yato heritage should’ve been revealed sooner. A missed opportunity for more bonding with Kagura. • Saitou also should’ve been introduced sooner with more character development. • Shinpachi and Tae, but more so Tae because many of the arcs she’s shared with Shinpachi and others tended to shift focus away from her, rarely making us privy to her inner thoughts and solo spotlight.

Favorite episode or arc? Shogun Assassination and Courtesan of a Nation arcs were absolutely stellar, peak Gintama arcs. I love episodes that deal with Gintaladies, especially Host Club arc and the famous Vegeta discussion. Rakuyou’s Joui4 badass hall-of-fame battle is something to revisit. Hijikata and Itou’s final battle.

Really, I’ve enjoyed so much of the series over the years. There is an episode/arc for every mood.

OTP(s)? HijiTae (Hijikata x Tae). Check out my side blog @hijitae for reasons. Beyond that, I don’t discuss other favourite ships except in private discussion. Most of the time, I like thinking outside the box when it comes to ships. Gintama is one of those fandoms where I don’t subscribe to many popular pairings among the majority other than a couple of them (pun intended) where the chemistry Sorachi has highlighted over the years is far too convincing to believe otherwise.

BROTP(s)? I’ll mention some lesser known, less discussed duos:

Tae and Tsukuyo – not enough of it in canon. They both work primarily at night, they both head their own districts and operative teams (as of Silver Soul time skip with a little fanon embellishment), and they have shown to care for one another’s well-being in times of war. Two badass women whose bond I explore in my fic here.

Hijikata and Tetsunosuke – all because of Baragaki arc and the potential for them to form a solid team relationship. Tetsu grows as a result of Hijikata’s influence, and in turn, Hijikata learns a bit more patience when it comes to Tetsu. Plus, they share similar backgrounds when it comes to brothers. I emphasized their growing bond in another fic here.

Saitou and Okita – I like the idea of these two being close because Okita talked about how he heard Saitou’s voice at the convenience store (and it was fun to see him toss two practice swords at Saitou, calling him “Shimaru-niisan”). And since Saitou finds making friends difficult due to his lack of socializing, and since Okita implies that he has few friends (given his general personality), I can imagine these two forming a close, unconventional bond as a result. I’ve written a bit of this idea into another fic here.

Katsura and Sacchan – extremely random, yes (funnily enough, there is fan art of them in Pixiv), but since teaming them up by chance in the fic I linked above (and another one coming soon), I’ve started to enjoy the potential of their interactions. They are both eccentric people who tend to irritate those around them with their quirks and signature gags. They would make an interesting comedic duo. Sorachi not giving nearly enough time to different combinations of interactions while having such a large cast of characters to work with is so regretful.

Kamui and Abuto – they’ve stuck by each other’s side in one way or another for so many years. You already need a lot of patience to deal with somebody like Kamui. Then, factoring in Kamui’s general disdain for most people he considers weaker than himself, he’s not exactly telling Abuto to hit the road by the final chapter. By now, they have a solid, unspoken bond.

An unpopular opinion? I’ve plenty of unpopular opinions, but I won’t be sharing them today.

Favorite running joke? “It’s the Shogun!” “It’s not Zura, it’s Katsura.” Vertically challenged Takasugi.

Favorite OST? OP song: “Tougenkyou Alien” by Serial TV Drama ED song: “Shura” by DOES

This post is long enough, so I won’t list all of the standout favourites from each of the soundtracks. Suffice to say, I enjoy everything.

Feelings about the upcoming movie? I’ve said all that I’ve needed to say in my Critique and Farewell posts. My feelings remain unchanged. I’ll be watching the movie to close the book on a 14-year journey with Gintama. I just hope that there is enough budget for all the major scenes (although a movie and then special episode(s) afterward…might as well have just made one final season altogether). More of a new soundtrack or maybe new character theme remixes would be nice, too!

As for tagging...I guess anyone who wants to do this? It’s been a long time, and I’d feel awkward tagging people who aren’t here anymore or not into Gintama as much as they used to be. Sorry!

#long post #tae #tsukuyo #hijikata #okita #saitou #tetsunosuke #kamui #abuto #bansai #takasugi #sakamoto #shinpachi #katsura #sarutobi #mutsu #zenzou #hijitae #sadaharu #catherine #gintama

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shatterthefragments · 3 years

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Questions Tag Game

Thank you for tagging me @catholicnicky!

Hmm I'm supposed to tag 20 but I'll tag:

@kiaya, @caffeinatedbraincell, @randofando-spoonie, @cowgaykermit, @boutiquetraveltravelboutique @rhubarbdreams

If you want to play :)

1. Name/Nickname: Shatters <3

2. Gender: *shrugs noncommitedly*/nonbinary fits best

3. Star sign: okay so I took a thing and I'm going to assume that "Sun in Pisces" is this? bc i have no clue any time i look at that :eek:

4. Height: it is to my delight that I can definitely say 5'3" and not actually 5'2"! Bc I'm only a couple inches shorter than a friend and that would mean I'm taller than 5'2"!

5. Time: at the time of this Q: 12:20... ah I should get ready for bed soon... (longer by the time I post this at a little past 1 am)

6. Birthday: Feb. 26

7. Favourite Band: Currently? Maybe Polyphia? Most played currently at least. I've been vibing with Nothing But Thieves, Daughtry (again), 3OH!3 (i know), Florence + The Machine (though I have yet to do a discography playthrough yet), (ok so I'm scrolling through my saved artists for this one), The Neighbourhood, some local bands, and The Pretty Reckless lately.

8. Favourite solo artist: oh dear god. Um. Loving and/or getting back into: Rina Sawayama, Toby Fox, Ichika Nito, Tim Henson, Lil Nas X, King Princess, Hayley Kiyoko? idk it could be a lot more. But for Reasons it currently has to be Lil Nas X <3

9. song stuck in my head: because I caved and got TikTok (derogatory) because of the Chocolate Potato Cake (from 1912!) [and if you didn't just hear that in Dylan's voice you should find it on Youtube it's great] it's Maneskin's Beggin. When that's not recently heard, it varies between many other songs. If I whistle, it's usually a simple march we played in band. Maybe Soda. Maybe the hook from The Worst. Who knows~ not me!

10. last movie: either Waves or Wolf it's been so long since I've watched something. But soon hopefully Hartenstraat!

11. last show: Leverage! When I rewatched it last year or something!

12. when I created this blog: perhaps 2012 or 2013? I deleted most of my blog and started over though at around 15k posts so it may have been before that? But I don't think it was much before 2012 if so.

13. what I post: please tell me fuck if i know aaaaah whatever I see when I pop on when I have the capacity to actually reblog or queue it i guess? mostly related to whatver i'm fixated on <3 (speaking of - draining my queue for the tumblr post+ strike so that'll suck to get filled again afterwards :P)

14. last thing I googled: "Sugar and spice makes everything nice quote"

15. other blogs: theoldguardinshatters is my tog sideblog! I have some other... rather inactive blogs... not really sure I want to share them. Some are straight up empty.

16. do i get asks? not often

17. why I chose my URL: I'm a poet! jk jk (or am I?) but I wrote a poem back in middle school... actually a few versions based off the same premise/line (i was going to see if I could find it but looking back That Far in my blog is like "yeah, there's no way I'm faking my mental illness even when I fear I might be" so I'm just. not. going there. like holy shit maybe i should purge my old posts again...) But if I remember maybe I'll put what I can remember under a cut?

18. following: after swearing I'd never follow more than 100: 304. But many aren't active anymore :( (also literally me 5 yrs ago: 'oh god I follow more than 30 people I'm freaking out, it's too many!')

19. followers: 234, but who knows how many are porn bots I never really kept up back in the day

20. average hours of sleep: ...that is a good question... idk. maybe 5ish when I work and maybe 9ish when I am just me on my own?

21. lucky number: culturally: 8, personally, also: 3,7,13,17,19,23

22. instruments: formerly flute and tenor sax. I haven't exactly kept up oops >.< (so i guess rn I just whistle or hum or sometimes sing)

23. what am I wearing: shorts and a t-shirt

24. dream job: bookbinder, or some other creative pursuit that allows me to work with my hands - cake decorator? other arts? idk. maybe secretary? maybe fancy ass barista/pastry decorator? editor? illustrator? i have no clue please send suggestions <3

25. dream trip: with friends. Not having to drive the entire time. Longer than what I'm currently able to do... maybe a couple months... maybe in europe or asia? maybe just road tripping across canada. idk. It sure would be nice to see them again <3 hopefully camping with one (maybe two?) mid august-ish though! :D

26. favourite food: dim sum (bc I really miss going out with family!), sushi, desserts, pies, quiche, eggs benny, Popcorn, I'm not sure. those are also safe foods texturally usually too though.

27. nationality: canadian, half chinese.

28. favourite song: *shrugs* right now perhaps Soda or The Worst

29. last book I read: ...i don't know... maybe a reread I did of What They Always Tell Us or Martin Wilson's other book We Now Return To Regular Life last year?

30. top 3 fictional universes I would like to live in: ...fuck. I don't know. Most of the fantasy universes I read are fanfic... Maybe.... Waves Cinematic Universe - now that Gabriele has a boat, we could boat! Some universe with wings! A universe with UBI *sideeyes gvmt* Stardew Valley universe! :D

from what I can remember maybe (again - Several Versions of this were written... back in middle school...)

Shatter the fragments to see what's left Release the weight That's on your chest

There's nothing left For you to see Nothing left But apathy

#tag game #tag games #this was fun but hard!#poem snippet under the cut #long post #kinda yeah

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ikol-cosplay · 4 years

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What are your favorite shows/characters outside of the Marvel franchises?

Avatar The Last Airbender!!!! My love for Zuko is almost as strong as the one for Loki but he doesn't have nearly enough merch and cosplaying him is hard because I WILL sweat the scar off (this happened twice) 😂😂😂 I love every single Atla character, they are my precious babies. Before I became Loki obsessed I was just as Zuko obsessed. I still am I'm just less vocal about it but I grew up on this series and I love it so so SO MUCH. One day I'll cosplay Azula, Toph, Suki and the cabbage merchant 😌👌

Merlin! Gosh I was such a fan I once did a school project on this. I would watch this with my family when it came out and every episode we would be CONVINCED this was the moment where Merlin revealed his magic (spoiler: it wasnt) 😂 Again, there's not nearly enough merch but dang does this show hold a special place in my heart. When I got really depressed all I did was rewatch Merlin and Avatar. My faves are Merlin and Morgana 👌

Shows I like a lot but don't feel as strongly about as the ones mentioned above:

She-ra and the princesses of power. It was so nice to have such an inclusive show and also they're all gorgeous! I got my redemption arc as well 👌👌👌 And double trouble is a MOOD. I still need to finish my Catra cosplay, but I already have She-ra and she makes me feel gorgeous like her. I love every character here as well but special mentions to Catra, Adora, Scorpia, Entrapta, Sea Hawk and Double Trouble

Phineas and Ferb. I just love how they put it all together with the jokes and the songs 👌

The Mandalorian. This series is just A++++ just a dad and his tiny green son doing cool shit throughout the galaxy with a bunch of badass friends.

The Good Place. I'm so sad this one ended. I LOVED every second of it.

Lucifer, Good Omens, Tangled the series, The Dragon Prince, Voltron (they did my boi Lotor dirty tho), currently watching My Hero Academia (I vibe with Bakugo, I too want to go feral), The Umbrella Academy (10/10 I love this series, Klaus Five and Allison are faves), The Legend of Korra, The Witcher (Jaskier is my fave)

I used to be absolutely obsessed with Winx and Yu-Gi-Oh as well (and they had merch so child me was a happy little gremlin, my faves were all the Winx and Riven and Yami Marik 😂 I already had a type back then)

I know you said shows but I'm gonna mention movies as well.

Pirates of the Carribean. I watched the first 3 movies so many times my mom sent me upstairs to watch it because she couldn't take it anymore 😂 Elizabeth and Jack are my faves

Star Wars. I know the movies aren't great but they have cool costumes, fancy weapons and redemptions arcs so I'm sold ok? Faves are Kylo Ren, Obi Wan, Leia and Anakin.

Harry Potter. I like the magic and the concept of it all (not all the problematic shit obv). My fave is, as you may have guessed by now, Draco Malfoy (I don't have a type you have a type)

Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit movies. Gosh could rewatch these a thousand times and still not get bored. I love the story and the costumes so much. My fave is Thranduil but not in the same way the others are faves, here I just love all the characters and Thrandy happens to be extra shiny 😂

The Hunger Games. But mostly the books, even though I enjoyed the movies too. I should reread those books some time.

Disney movies, especially Princess and the Frog, Moana, Mulan and Tangled

Kung Fu Panda. What? Those movies are great!

Megamind. I don't need to explain this one.

And I'm a fan of the mobile game The Arcana, my fave being Julian. I'm also a fan of musicals like Beetlejuice, Mean Girls, Six, Hamilton (faves being Hamilton, Lafayette and Jefferson), Heathers and Wicked.

I probably still forgot some but eh 😂

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inktrailing · 3 years

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I stole this from @the-kaedageist because it looked fun.

(Also me: “I’ll do this meme quickly...” ... *loses track of time*)

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

78 to my greatest surprise. I guess the only favor 2020 did for me was in writing.

2) What’s you total AO3 word count?

355,868. Holy...

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

10. Critical Role, CWDC, Men in Black (movies), Supernatural, Doctor Who, PotC. Spattering of some other stuff.

4) What are your top five fics by Kudos?

Unconventional, Men in Black, Jay/Kay, 1211 kudos... somehow

Fish Tales, Men in Black, Jay/Kay, 336 kudos

meet us where the night ends, Critical Role, Essek/Caleb, 298 kudos

I see death cresting over the hill, Critical Role, Essek/Caleb, 276 kudos

message, Critical Role, Essek/Caleb, 273 kudos

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I AM REALLY BAD ABOUT THIS. It’s literally on my AO3 profile that I’m bad about it. I try every now and then but I so often just get flustered and then don’t end up responding. Oftentimes I’m at work and just flailing during the rest of my shift and yeah /)_(\ Words Are Hard, says the writer.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

OH THERE’S A COUPLE. I would say Caught in the Wires (MIB, Jay/Kay); and you know my soul (CRc2, Essek/Caleb) probably are the two worst for bad end future fics. follow me into the golden wild (DW, Rose & the Moment) is my favorite of my bad end fics though lol. I fucking love that fic hahaha, and it’s one of my least read stories XD

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I don’t really. Not fic wise. A lot of my thought processing goes through basically using an RP format with myself (because I like icons, okay) so sometimes I’ll take wild concepts and play out scenarios with a bunch of characters and sometimes I’ll get shit out of it that I can actually use but other times I’ll have fun things that will not translate well to fic.

My fav of those was a Pokemon AU that y’know basically dragged a bunch of characters in and eventually they had to deal with a Problem like ya do while still ending up stranded. I enjoyed throwing Dean/Lucifer at that because Dean just ended up “ghost hunting” aka freeing/helping/catching ghosts and ending up with 70+ and Lucifer really only traveling around with a Zoroark and still hating humanity but helping mistreated and scapegoated pokemon.

I just really like Dean and his ghost army lmfao.

An actual crossover fic I have (and maybe one day could finish) was Arrow/The Dresden Files only because Paul Blackthorne except it uses book canon instead of TV canon because of Winter Court Bullshit so like whatever, I do what I want some days I guess \o_O/

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don’t... think so? I sometimes get minor disagreements on characterization but I typically write for myself and am pretty set in my ways so it’s like okay I accept your opinion but it’s not going to change anything.

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I cannot write smut to save my life.

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

If I have I definitely haven’t noticed.

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

stood too close to the flames (LoT, Mick/Len) was translated.

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.

13) What’s you all-time favorite ship?

I ship so many things at the drop of a hat and so frequently go back to old ships to find new things to read even if it’s been a looooong time. I would say Jay/Kay since I’ve shipped and written them for the greatest length of time without it fading.

I do genuinely enjoy writing Dean/Lucifer though so go rarepairs I guess.

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I fucking love I’ll Stop the Whole World (DW, Doctor/Master, 47k words) as I’ve pulled it up again after idk months to skim through but I suppose I learned a lot from writing lost in the lapse again and going backwards to any of my longer WIPs just hurts a bit? I want to figure it out because there’s so much I adore in it but there’s a lot of work to be done and having two monitors helps now but... I don’t have the energy to tear it apart and sew it back together.

15) What are your writing strength?

god idk

I’d like to say I’ve gotten better at I guess... balance? Juggling dialogue and action and scenery. I forced myself to work on scenery descriptions awhile back and I think it paid off?

I learned to take good notes, especially if it’s something with multiple plot threads that I need to keep track of. That’s what has made some of my older WIPs such a bitch because I didn’t do that and I’m like ????? Hey? Past Me? WHAT?!?! And retroactively trying to build a timeline is REALLY DIFFICULT ACTUALLY.

I do also think I keep my narrative parallels pretty tight. I’m sure a lot get missed because people aren’t staring at the same story that I am for months combing things over, but it delights me okay ;)

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

Finishing shit?! Well, I’ve gotten better at that over the course of the last year. Critical Role reaction fics helped A TON with that. Just spitting things out immediately after an episode.

I am a fucking perfectionist though. Like I’ll canon divergence all I want but mentally I need the basis of canon to weave into my writing even if it’s just for a single line. I like willfully breaking canon not ignorantly.

This means I either never get things done because I need to rewatch or I too meticulously obsess over something.

While I think I’m good with writing scenery I’m SUPER BAD at character descriptions?? I’m trying to?? Work on it?? But that’s one thing I’ve finally just been like okay I know I’m bad at this I just need to accept it and go on because if I get hung up on it then again, nothing’s gonna get posted.

I’ve learned that I vehemently hate the words “still” and “probably” because I white noise them even when doing intensive editing and I use them so damn much and now that I realize going back to read old things hurts my soul.

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Look I grew up primarily on writing Yu-Gi-Oh! fic. I had my Time with poor use of Japanese in fic. While I don’t have any fandoms now that I write for that it would be relevant... I can’t do it anymore. However, reading it doesn’t bother me, and it generally doesn’t jar me out of anything. Like it feels normal reading it in MDZS fics for one thing.

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I want to say some super wonky ~new cards~ Cardcaptor Sakura fic. But I think the first fandom I published for on FFN was likely YGO. Anything early than that I would have blacked out of my memory ahahaha.

19) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

lost in the lapse again took up my life for MONTHS and was really my pride and joy. It was the longest thing I’ve ever written and edited to my liking. I’m so so happy with how it came out and I’m shocked honestly that it has 118 kudos now because I really expected it to get maybe half that, tops. But it was definitely one of those I’m writing this for me, this encompasses what I want, and if others enjoy it that would be really nice!

Otherwise I think I’d say I see death cresting over the hill because it has so many elements I just enjoy rereading. I think it’s my favorite of my Critical Role fics too.

#writing #meme

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kinetic-elaboration · 4 years

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March 15: Thoughts on Fandom

Not feeling too well this evening but hopefully a good night's sleep will make me feel better and tomorrow will be low key and chill. And my hot water will be fixed successfully.

I was thinking today about how I've felt for a long time that I'm 'between fandoms' even though technically, literally, I'm not. I continue to write and read for The 100 but I don't entirely feel like I'm in the fandom. Sometimes I think I should just leave officially, but then I think--but to go where? And "Star Trek" seems both an obvious and an incorrect answer. It's like I'm not truly invested anywhere, but in a sort of limbo-like space.

Anyway, so I broke it down like this.

I want 3 three things from "fandom," broadly speaking:

1. To engage with media that I really love.

Examples: waiting for new installments (for ongoing media); rewatching or rereading; obsessing over how great the characters or stories are, dissecting plot lines and themes.

2. To engage with a fan community that also loves the media I love.

Examples: reading fanfiction; reading meta; engaging in online discussions; reading other people's excited posts; following blogs relating to the media in question; reblogging gifsets/graphics/fan art

3. To engage creatively with the source material through transformative works.

Example: writing fanfiction.

Ideally, I'd have one piece of media that fulfills all of these purposes. That was T100 for me for a while. But then I stopped watching the show in late S4, and got farther and farther away from the 'current' fandom. And then the show ended, and on such a sour note, so that the fandom itself, the fan community, started changing. And at the same time, I started getting seriously back into Star Trek again.

So now I'm in this place, where I'm still at least kind of engaged in all three aspects of the fandom experience, but not in a unified way.

Star Trek is fulfilling the first purpose of fandom for me, right now. I'm loving rewatching TOS, and the AOS movies too, and I just have a lot of Emotions about the characters and universe. It's that good kinda excitement that a show (or book or movie or whatever) that you really love always gives. Like--ahh!!! I cannot feel anything else but just happiness because I love this so much!

BUT I'm not engaging with ST in either the second or third sense of fandom. I follow a couple ST blogs but there aren't many truly active TOS/AOS centric blogs out there right now. I don't read any ST fanfic because, well, first of all I never really did, and second, I'm far enough behind on my T100 fic! And I have rl people like my mom and B to talk about it with, but not really anyone on tumblr or wherever who's into it like I am.

And though I've vaguely plotted and poked at some fic ideas, I haven't done any real ST writing in a long time--again because I have ideas for T100 that I need/want to get to first, and I'm not writing so much anyway now in general.

On the other hand, T100 is definitely NOT fulfilling function (1) for me and hasn't in a long time. When I stopped watching the show, I still engaged with the canon a little. I watched other people get excited or debate or discuss. I noticed the patterns of fandom as the show went into and out of hiatus. Plus, I still enjoyed the early seasons and liked early-canon and canon-divergent fics (reading and planning/writing). But even that is largely fading for me. I've been trying to rewatch the show but it's not really doing anything for me... I have a hard time getting into it. The canon-divergent fics I'm writing for the collab are not interesting me in the least, either.

I realized today that most of my fic ideas, or at least most of the fic ideas I really care about in any way, are so far removed from the canon they might as well be original fiction with some familiar names thrown in. The one exception is the Ark AU, but everything else is some form of extreme AU, modern or otherwise. I don't even know that the characters make me feel much of anything anymore. I've been toying with how to explain this for a while but... I feel like both for me personally and the fandom as I perceive it, the characters are more like a shared vocabulary, rather than actual characters from a source material we all love. I think this is partially because the fandom is old enough now to have some very long standing shared headcanons, and either small enough or bifurcated enough for fanwork creators to influence each other more than the canon influences them, and partly because the show ending on a sour note for most viewers has left the people who remain in the fandom with a sense that these characters are OURS and that the value of them is in how we collectively decide to use them now, rather than in how they are tied to the universally derided source material.

I'm not saying any of this is BAD, I'm just saying, that's how it is now, from my perspective.

I'm sort of engaging with the fan community (2) through T100, but... it's a little weird. I have people I legitimately like and enjoy talking to on tumblr who I know through T100 and of course there are events like Troped that I really love. I have a ton of cool fic bookmarked too and I'm getting back into reading it. But my dash has a lot less T100 content than it used to and sometimes I'll find myself j-ing very fast through it because I'm just not in the mood. I know a lot of people are either semi-disengaging, like I am, or wholesale moving on to other things. So it's like... the community straggles on, but it's uncertain at best.

And as far as engaging creatively (3)--to the extent that I write or plan fic it's almost all T100. But I haven't... I haven't been finding it easy to write. In general. This is a little hard to explain but.. when I think "I need to leave T100 fandom and really force myself to go somewhere else" it's usually because I feel like I'm not really getting what I need creatively out of the fandom. I like a lot of my wips and unstarted ideas, in theory at least, but the closer I look at some of them the more... herculean the task of actually writing them starts to seem. And tbh I rarely just... tell myself little stories about these characters or within these potential-fic scenarios. Like in all my idle, free thought time--when I'm washing dishes or taking a walk or a shower or going to sleep, when I want to think about something nice and fictional and not let the worries in... when I'm really engaged with a fandom, I'll imagine little scenes and tell myself little stories during these times. Sometimes they're scenes I want to eventually make into or include in a fic. Other times they're not. But they're still an extension of my creative life.

And I haven't really done that for T100 in a while. Sometimes I imagine Star Trek scenarios. Sometimes I retreat into highly silly comfort scenarios with original characters. But I only think about T100 when I specifically need to brainstorm for a fic. And that makes the fic feel more like work. And that makes me want to do it less.

So... I'm not sure what that will mean for me getting back into my projects when I finally (FINALLY) finish the last of my obligations. Maybe when I feel like I can actually make progress on old wips or ideas I care about, I'll get more invested in them. I was pretty damn invested in Mountain Lion Mean and that wasn't that long ago, so it is still possible. But overall, T100 definitely doesn't have, and probably never will have again, a total monopoly on my brain the way it did c.2016.

Which is fine. Like... it's more than fine. I've been here a while. What I'm trying to articulate to myself with all this is that the dissatisfaction I feel with my fandom life is probably stemming from the lack of one, coherent obsession. I have stuff to read, stuff to write, stuff to think about, stuff to talk about, and even a small fandom community of people I like--so what's the problem, right?? It's because it's not all coming from the same piece of media and that's not as clear and coherent and nice for me.

Plus, it makes writing more difficult when I do want to write these particular ideas, but I'm only motivated by own desire to see the ideas realized, not my genuine love for the characters and the material from which they derive. There's a certain energy that fannish activity has... but T100 fic barely feels like a fannish activity to me rn. Just another type of work. It's a work I'm invested in...but I just so often don't have it in me to WORK at all, is the thing.

So that's the biggest annoyance about it. I haven't really experienced this before so even though this situation has been forming for a while, I still don't really know what to do with it.

#the year 2021 #2021: fandom thoughts #honestly i'm really proud of myself for articulating all of this #fandom

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theseerasures · 4 years

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Conspicuous Media Consumption, 2020

it’s that time of year again! *saddest toot from the party horn*

for those of you just joining us: it’s a “consume a different content every week for 48 weeks of the year” challenge. for a longer explanation, check out last year’s write-up here, and as always, feel free to pop in and ask questions about any and all of this content.

(same disclaimer as last year too: content for this project ONLY here, and not certain...*looks at my billion Sad Cop Lady posts*...hyperfixations.)

(man remember when i was big into X-Men comics earlier this year? better times than these, if only because no one's discoursing about Emma Frost’s woobie/war criminal ratio anymore--her w/w, if you will)

(...i swear at one point i didn’t exclusively like platinum blondes but alas)

Bitter Root (comic, 1 issue finished 1/1/2020): still very cool on a basic concept level, but runs into the Image Comics problem of just not having enough content to keep my interest beyond that. part of that is on me, for picking it up again BEFORE the second arc rolled out, but the first five issues didn’t really follow (or resolve) any cohesive story either, so...meh.

Immortal Hulk (comic, 3 trades finished 1/17/2020): still not gonna be something i care deeply about (maybe one of Bruce’s Hulksonas dyed his hair???), but i do want to give kudos to Al Ewing for sheer consistency in terms of sustaining this level of quality storytelling month by month for more than two years now. working with the dense archive of the Hulk mythos and managing to make it interesting and thoughtful is impressive even if i personally would not expend the same effort.

Disco Elysium (game, finished 1/18/2020): honestly i should have twigged onto what this year was gonna be like when the third thing i drew from the barrel was pure uncut Eastern European flavored depression. i faintly recall people ragging on it for being pretentiously cynical, but i actually thought its core slid more towards idealism than people give it credit for. also gratified that i haven’t heard anything about Robert Kurvitz using slave labor to finish it, which is a thing we have to say about our video games now!!! fun.

Watchmen (TV, 7 episodes finished 1/27/2020): i am a fool who wants to believe in Damon Lindelof and I WAS RIGHT!!! honestly still cannot believe that he pulled off this highwire act with such deft aplomb. might be my favorite TV this year, which is a pretty high bar given how much TV i ended up watching.

On a Sunbeam (comic, finished 2/1/2020): Tillie Walden rightly deserves all the praise for inventive queer storytelling, but i will say that on reread--since i first read this as a webcomic--there ARE some issues with pacing here that clearly come from the foibles of its original intended medium. still just excellent, even if after some plot significant haircuts i was having trouble telling a few folks apart.

Lazarus (comic, 1 trade finished 2/8/2020): it’s so good and i want moooooorrrreee--though obviously Rucka and Lark have the right to take all the time they need. the newer longer issues work really well with the epic prestige drama vibes of the story! i’m into it.

The Good Place (TV, 4 seasons finished 2/18/2020): i’m gonna be super honest: i actually wasn’t a big fan of the finale, nor the last season as a whole. it felt like all of Eleanor’s flaws vanished for a majority of the season, and the Chidi-centric episode where they tried to give a legible justification for why he’s Like This was...i didn’t care for it. still, it’s so good and unique on the WHOLE that we’ll literally never get anything like this ever again, and that counts for a lot.

The Old Republic (game, finished 2/21/2020): it’s an MMO so it will never actually Be Finished so long as the servers aren’t shut down, but i caught up on the content i’d missed in the intervening months. Onslaught thus far has mostly been...kinda bland tbh; going back to Imps vs. Rebs after all the shakeups in the previous expansions feels like a waste.

High Road (album, finished 2/22/2020): someone should tell Kesha not to say that word!! otherwise i was very happy with this album, and happy FOR her even though we don’t know each other. being able to find joy again in the same genre of music you made while you were being horrifically exploited is very cool.

Young Justice (TV, 13 episodes finished 2/28/2020): given how much the middle stuff dragged--STOP KILLING YOUR HIJABI CHARACTER IN HORRIFIC WAYS--i was...actually kinda mad by how the end managed to stick the landing anyway. the day being saved by Vic’s self-acceptance and Violet’s sublime compassion was A+, and even the Brion/Tara switchup was a pleasant surprise, though it relied on me caring about Brion MUCH MORE than i actually did.

Manic (album, finished 2/29/2020): do people still care for/about Halsey? i feel like even That One Song that was on every tumblr gifset ever has kinda faded into obscurity at this point. this album was...okay. i feel like people give Halsey a pass for extremely obvious lyrical turns that they wouldn’t for other folks because of her subject material--which is fine. not really my cup of tea, but i also listened to lots of Relient K this year, so that’s probably a good thing.

Jade Empire (game, 3/10/2020): the only 3D-era Bioware game that didn’t franchise out, and for good fucking reason!!! the Orientalism and appropriation really haven’t aged well, and even beyond that the story was...standard Bioware faire. even my usual “my wife’s a bitch i love her” Bioware type didn’t do it for me, and i just ended up romancing no one. it did make me think a lot about what level of cultural borrowing is accepted nowadays, and why: people still look fondly at Avatar and talk about how ~accurate and respectful it was, for example, despite it being staffed almost entirely by white folks, and the Orientalism ALL OVER the monk class in DND is still fine for some reason.

Alif the Unseen (book, finished 3/31/2020): interesting to have read this AFTER reading The Bird King last year, because it highlights how the intervening years have shifted G. Willow Wilson’s thematic interest and improved her craft. i’m actually quite fond of how her characterization work is rougher here--Alif is extremely flawed to the point of being insufferable, but it makes his development by the end more satisfying. Dina is also just good and i love her

Baldur’s Gate (2 games, finished 5/31/2020): well, having finally finished the series i’m happy to say that it...still doesn’t really do it for me, sorry. any awesome story moments were overshadowed by the EXCRUCIATING inventory management system and the combat (i still don’t know what a THAC0 is and at this point i’m afraid to find out). these games crucially lack the Home Base that later Bioware games were so good about, and that (coupled with the huge cast of characters you can drop off and never see again) really hurts the intimacy for me. by the time we finally did get one it was the Hell Dimension in Throne of Bhaal, and i was just...trying to get through it. (yes, i did just say that about one of the most beloved expansions ever to one of the most beloved games ever.) THIS particular iteration of “my wife’s a bitch i love her” was very good, but the game wouldn’t let me romance her :(

The Underground Railroad (book, finished 6/19/2020): honestly what is there even left to say at this point! it was exactly as good as every critic on the planet said it was, even with my usual aversion to hype. draining and horrifying in turns but still insistent upon a future for Black folks.

Steven Universe (6 seasons and a mooooooviiieeee, finished 7/11/2020): yes, i DID finish the show and almost immediately begin a rewatch. this series is now one of my top five most formative things, and the amount of love and respect i have for it is incalculable. that said: i once again did not love how the central conflict of Future was resolved (just the resolution--i loved the finale just fine). for all of Steven’s breakdown was built up, resolving it with “EVERYONE HUG HIM UNTIL HE CRIES” felt...cheap, especially since up until this point the show had been so good about treating trauma and mental illness with the respect and nuance it deserves. it made me wish some of the earlier, less substantial episodes had been cut so we could spend more time at the end.

What It Is (comic, finished 8/19/2020): y’all i love Lynda Barry SO MUCH. for the longest time i was worried that One Hundred Demons was more a lightning in a bottle situation but every book of hers i pick up makes me feel obscure emotions i didn’t even realize existed. the compassionate way she’s able to describe her child self and how weird and fucked up she was (and still is) is honestly aspirational.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (TV, 5 seasons finished 9/26/2020): so here’s a reversal of what i’ve been complaining about with other shows: i was mostly lukewarm-to-warm about She-Ra, but the later seasons and the finale made me much more into it as a whole. more shows should improve in stakes and overall quality as they age tbh!! i still don’t actively love Catradora (my sole quibble with season 5 actually has to do with the way Adora kept backsliding as a character to make certain Plot/Relationship things happen), but i’m very happy for them nonetheless. i can certainly appreciate a show that will go for High Feeling over tight plot. dark horse standout moments: trees growing everywhere proving that Perfuma Was Right, and Hordak and Adora seeing each other--that weirdly intimate moment of recognition.

Fetch the Bolt Cutters (album, finished 10/7/2020): again i find myself not having much to say that no one else has said. it’s good! once again love it when an artist reclaims something they’d attached with negative affect (anxiety, depression, disordered eating) for better and brighter things.

Solutions and Other Problems (comic, finished 10/25/2020): i was very into Allie Brosh’s ambition with this book, which feels weird to say but i stand by it. it’s cool to see an artist try to make a new medium work for them instead of just sticking to what already works. not all the experimentation was 100% effective, but it was still delightful and occasionally devastating to read, so.

Legend of Zelda (3 games: Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask, Link Between Worlds, finished 11/1/2020): this was the third time i’d played Ocarina of Time, which made it the nice, comforting groove i settled into before Majora’s Mask blatted me in the face. i’m not usually a completionist Zelda person because...the gameplay in Zelda is bad, do not at me it just is, but i really felt like i HAD to be one for Majora’s Mask since the whole point is to get attached to the banalities of the town. i’m sure nobody’s surprised that i loved it, even if it gave me an existential crisis about how life goes on in the game for NPCs when you’re not there to save them from it, and there’s not enough time to save them all all the time (also not a surprise to anyone: Romani and Cremia gave Personal Feelings). Link Between Worlds...bad. not like in a “this is a bad story by every measurable gauge” way, but i was already struggling with the 2D playstyle shift enough that for the whole story to end with some “yes it’s v sad that Lorule is Like This but trying to steal Hyrule’s privilege is Even Worse Actually” noblesse oblige bullshit left a VERY poor taste in my mouth, this year of all years. i did audibly gasp when Ravio took off his mask, though. i’m currently playing Breath of the Wild in cautious increments; it’s the first time i’ve enjoyed early Zelda gameplay, but if they wanted fully voiced cutscenes i wish they got voice actors who...knew what words sound like.

folklore (album, finished 11/6/2020): my belief that Taylor Swift is Just Fine continues, i’m afraid. i LIKED this album, don’t get me wrong, and respect her constant drive to innovate, but i didn’t love it substantially more or less than any other Taylor Swift album. mostly i’m just tickled by how she thinks leaning into the indie aesthetic means borrowing Vita Sackville-West’s entire wardrobe, though i will admit to feeling Something when she swore in a song. i think it was like. savage vindication?? you go ahead and swear, Taylor Swift. you deserve it.

Shore (album, finished 11/19/2020): do people still care about the Fleet Foxes? i think there was some Drama with Josh Tillman a while back but i don’t remember where the discourse landed with who was being more problematic. it was nostalgic for me to listen to their new album--made me remember being an undergrad who exclusively listened to men who mumbled and played acoustic guitar all over again.

Star Wars (3 movies: original trilogy, finished 11/27/2020): there is So Much bad Star Wars these days that every time i rewatch the original trilogy i’m afraid that they will suddenly be bad, but guess what! they’re not. i love these children and their hot mess stories, i love that Lando doesn’t know how to say his best friend’s name. what stood out to me this time was the way Obi-Wan described the Force in A New Hope, which strongly implied that ANYONE can be Force Sensitive; that obviously faded with each subsequent movie, but part of me does wish they’d kept it.

X of Swords (comics, 22 issues finished 12/5/2020): i am enjoying Hickman’s X-lines!!! not so much here for the Grand Conspiracy or whatever, but the character work and highkey weirdness is fabulous--they FEEL like X-Men, despite all the shakeups in-universe. this crossover is a nice microcosm of all that: grandiloquently all over the place, but still full of cool standout moments and genuine hilarity. ILLYANA DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO SPELL MAGIC.

Fire Emblem (4 games: Sacred Stones, Path of Radiance, Radiant Dawn, Awakening, finished 12/14/2020): this was the thing that i was closest to giving up early on, but i ended up hyperfixating on it instead. that’s a credit to what the gameplay does to my lizard brain more than anything else, because the story and character writing is...insipid. it was very bizarre to witness this franchise blunder around with its animal-people racism allegory around the same time i was getting back into RWBY, and ITS animal-people racism allegory blunders. Awakening was the first time i felt anything for the franchise beyond “teehee red units disappear make exp bar go up and brain go ding,” so i’m excited for more mature storytelling in subsequent games (they MUST get better. they MUST). the child husbandry thing is...very bad tho, and Apotheosis being “challenging” entirely through the game changing all the rules is also bad.

once again no vidya games that came out this year--i’ll probably pick up Spiritfarer or Hades after the New Year, though (or maybe TLOU II! but probably not. sry Laura and Ashley). more TV and franchises this year, which made me feel In Touch with the Children but was also kinda exhausting. nothing was so egregiously terrible i dropped it without finishing! in a year like this that feels almost like an accomplishment

#conspicuous media consumption

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oohlook-thevoid · 4 years

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So, because my mum decided to watch the MCU movies recently (and because I'm the person in the house with the most clue of what's up with them), I've ended up rewatching a significant portion of the MCU again recently.

And, we skipped a few my mum had already seen, so we finally got to Infinity War and Endgame this weekend. And, ngl, I did not enjoy watching them again - in all honesty I paid more attention to my phone in Infinity War and straight up just went to do something else during Endgame.

And, like, I loved these movies when they came out. Ok, pre-IW I cried in a Spanish lesson when I was meant to be revising for a speaking exam just thinking about what I expected to happen in the movie. My chemistry teacher watched IW at the same time as me and in the chemistry lesson after that, there was this buzz amongst everyone talking about the movie. I remember doodling notes about the film in the margins of my exercise book. I brought the DVD to watch with a friend at my house after college one day. When Endgame came out, my brother thought I looked ridiculous as I stared completely transfixed at the screen the whole way through. I was very, very invested in these movies.

But, now, I genuinely don't care all that much for them. And, it's not that I don't still love marvel - I do still love marvel, I loved WandaVision, I'm so hyped for TFATWS, I was watching avengers cartoons just yesterday and am still getting through a wishlist of comics I wanna read. But, I do not enjoy rewatching or care that much about IW or Endgame anymore.

And, to be brutally honest, I think it's because they're not the best storytelling. The excitement around these movies was due to a decade or build up, it was an epic crossover, it was the arrival of a villain and his plan we'd all spent years waiting for. No one knew anything when we walked into the cinema, people didn't spoil it for everyone. The largest bit of enjoyment from these movies was the sheer unexpectedness, the sense of walking in with no clue what you were about to see.

Now, I know exactly what I'm going to see. I know how character's stories end. I know how they lose and win.

And, some stories, you can reread or rewatch over and over again despite knowing the ending. I think the key difference is, those don't rely on the audience not knowing what to expect. Those rely on good storytelling, foreshadowed twists that grow more satisfying with every time you go back to the story. Character development and character dynamics that move everyone forward.

For me personally, and idk whether this is a particularly shared opinion or not, as awesome as IW and Endgame were to watch and as incredible as the hype was, they aren't good storytelling. They don't build up character development in particular detail (understandable considering how many characters they're juggling ofc) and its not like I see more hints to an unexpected yet satisfying twist with every rewatch. If anything, I just end up with more question s about why they didn't do things differently to make life easier and win in IW. It just isn't a satisfying story the more I rewatch it, really it just becomes increasingly frustrating.

#I appreciate what it was and still loved it when it came out tho and I appreciate the reset it gave the MCU to move forward #because I think the new content is some of the best we've had from them #avengers: infinity war #avengers: endgame

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ambitionsource · 4 years

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S2 Rewatch - Maggie’s Take [ 205 ]

ah, the holiday season... in september... part i

Favorite scene

Good old return to the segmented story format! This time around it’s a tie between two -- when the techies come surprise Lucas and throw the holiday tradition at his house (orchestrated by Dasher), and when Charlie actually goes to introduce himself to Zay’s family and puts in that effort to show that he really cares about Zay and he’s really trying. Like... the softness of that. The tenderness. And him wearing the sweatshirt too... like buddy. And then with the Dylucasher scene (which we get much more elaboration on in the holiday special)... when Dylan gives him a littol peck on the top of his head... no one else could get away with that but Dyl Pickle truly. No one. That being said, my favorite story of the group is Farkle’s, because it had the strongest concept and was the most fun to write -- a completely different tone and convention than we usually use on the show.

Favorite performance

Can’t go wrong with holiday songs, but I think the win ties between Farkle’s melancholy “River” and Zay’s impassioned “Blue Christmas.”

Favorite character (within context of the episode)

I actually think I have to throw it to Dylan Orlando (and not just because it’s his appreciation day). He just has a lot of winning small moments, like the bad Rudolph rendition, his awful holiday sweater, his line about wanting to form a cult with Asher... like he’s ridiculous. I love him so much. The only one who truly radiated holiday cheer in this episode for sure.

Favorite line(s)

“You look like adolescent Mr. Rogers. And you look like Buddy the Elf.” --Lucas James Friar, to Asher and Dylan

“I’m not worried, I’m offended. I thought we were going to start [ a cult ] first.” --Dylan Orlando

“Are you really going to spend your entire existence annoying the fuck out of me?” --Farkle Minkus

“What the hell am I supposed to do with this?” --Farkle Minkus, after receiving a thoughtful meaningful gift from his father

“You’re not doing all the labor in our relationship anymore. Emotional or otherwise. I felt terrible about… well, a lot of things, and… I just want you to know I’m in this. I know I’m all over the place but… I’m serious about what we have. I’m serious about you. I’m trying, Zay. I’m really trying.” --Charlie Gardner

An underrated moment

The moment that stands out most stark to me -- and I remember this was true when writing it as well -- is when Dream!Jack attempts to get Farkle to see all the warmth and love in his past and asks can’t you see that? And Farkle goes “I see it... but I don’t think I know it.” I can hear it so perfectly in my head, like the delivery of it, and it is such a resounding foreshadow for all of the stuff that’s going to happen to Farkle in the next few eps (or already has). Like, it’s the core of depression and mental health in a one-line synopsis, where you can know the way you’re supposed to feel, can know that you should be happier or things could be better, but you can’t recall it. You don’t know it anymore. And so that always has stuck with me when it comes to this episode.

First impression vs your reread impression

This episode is actually great in contrast to 204 and the sluggers of 207 and 208 (and I believe 206 also is like 205, but only a reread will confirm), because it moves really quickly. Though the topics aren’t necessarily light, it moves easier and feels less weighted than those more jam-packed, cathartic episodes. I also really do enjoy writing the segmented story format, and I think Es and I manage to find the perfect episode each season where it thrives in that structure (I’m very excited about S3′s). It’s not the best episode by any means, but it’s fast and fun and has some good continuation of the storylines that are about to implode soon enough at the midseason. Also makes me happy and ready to reread the Dasher special.

#rr: 205 #s2 reread #s3 countdown #rr: by maggie

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thirteen-jades · 5 years

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Get to know the blogger:

1. FIRST NAME: I guess I’ve not really kept this very secret, so might as well put it out there officially again. Jade.

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: What isn’t strange about me, honestly? If I had to pick, I get occasional taste, smell, and auditory hallucinations. The first two especially tend to be pretty pleasant, often things like cookies or other sweets.

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON: Honestly I think the only people that I really register as being attractive are those I’m romantically interested in already? If I had to list some things, I think for women I’d say medium-sized breasts, red/brown/unusual hair colors, and… I’m not sure about a third thing, other than “not things I find unattractive”. As for men, mostly it’s non-physical things afaict, though height/strength may play into it some? Being princess carried is 10/10 super hot.

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: I tend not to get bored of the things I eat, I don’t think? I have a pretty limited rotation of foods that I step through and it doesn’t bother me much. Orange chicken is nice.

5. A FOOD YOU HATE: I don’t typically think of myself as hating foods or being a picky eater but in retrospect I don’t like: hot/spicy things (red pepper on pizza is about my limit, though I do often put it on mine), anything even remotely bitter, or things with a texture like raw seafood. That crab stuff in sushi seems to be fine but sashimi is super uncomfortable and I don’t like any non-fish seafood that I can think of.

6. GUILTY PLEASURE: It’s hard to remember the last time I really felt guilty about much of anything; mostly I don’t do things that make me feel bad. I like chocolate with caramel, I guess? Don’t feel guilty about it though.

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: Lately it’s been sweatpants. Used to sleep naked and might go back sometime.

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS: Serious relationships are great. I’ve had pretty limited experience with them and seem to struggle to do romantic love in general but would very much like to have a loyal (if perhaps polyamorous; that doesn’t seem to bother me so much) partner that I love dearly. I might not mind having more than one partner myself but I’m not really gonna worry about #2 until I find #1 at this point.

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: Changing the past is spooky and dangerous. Do Not Want.

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: I don’t think so. I can be affectionate towards certain friends, and would very much like to have a better chance to be more affectionate, but overall I tend to be fairly detached from others.

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: Rewatching/re-consuming things is painful and uninteresting for the most part. I used to reread books and stuff when I had limited access to things but nowadays I don’t see why I’d do it and hate watching movies I’ve seen before.

12. FAVORITE BOOK: I don’t really have the attention span to read books anymore unfortunately. Probably either a textbook of some kind or some TTRPG book. Or the thing I’m writing, if that can really be called a book. Which it probably can, actually?

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: Fantasy animals included? That’s hard and would need some aggressive research to find which creature is best suited to transform me into a monstergirl. IRL animals only? Fox, cat, or snake probably. Am not really well-suited to caring for a pet now, so it’ll have to happen later in my life. But I’m in no rush anyway.

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]: This one’s hard. I am not very interested in or focused on romance in general. I daydream about my own OCs a lot, but don’t really do shipping so much.

15. PIE OR CAKE: I love me some French silk pie.

16. FAVORITE SCENT: Wish I could smell well enough to have an answer for this one.

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH: I don’t care about or even know any celebrities to crush on, nor do I do crushes or romance in general afaict. So, none.

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO: I’d have to visit my friends, I think. If I weren’t confined to earth or this reality my options would increase a lot; I’d love to visit any of my settings or the Moon or something if I were properly equipped to survive in them.

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT: Wildly introverted. Spent most of the last summer talking to zero people face-to-face and was pretty much fine with that. It’s not uncommon for me to go whole days without face-to-face socializing and be unbothered by it. With my online friends, while I do interact more often I often need to pull away a little to recharge and can’t do constant contact with people. It’s also hard for me to initiate contact with anyone.

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY: I don’t think so.

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID: Android.

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: Yep. Not super often nowadays, and it’s taken me like 2 months to get most of the way through Code Vein, but I do enjoy them. I play a bit of Star Wars Battlefront 2, Classic (2005) as well, and am actually a moderator for a Discord server for that game. It’s a good time.

23. DREAM JOB: Well, some kind of engineer, I’d hope. Seeing as that’s what I’m getting my PhD in. If I were restricted to things practical in this world I’d probably pick what I’m going to end up doing, which is working with semiconductors and the like. Or an astronaut. If we open this up to sci-fi or fantasy, there’s too many things I’d love to list.

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: Save it, mostly? Pay off student loans and make sure my friends are set for a good long time and save/invest the rest. I’d make sure to spend a little bit upgrading my computer and visiting my friends, as well.

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: I sincerely can’t think of anyone or anything I hate, let alone a fictional character. Shinji Matou is an asshole I guess?

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: It’s kinda depressing how many things I loved until I got distracted and forgot all about them, but I often enjoy rediscovering and coming back to them. Homestuck would be the best example of one I used to really love and genuinely can’t get into nowadays though. I liked it, but I think the magic is largely gone for me. Moment’s passed and all.

#Jade writes things #personal

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dailyarturia · 6 years

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Instead of just rating servants, what about a rating of the different Fate storylines?

oh now THIS I can do

WHERE IT ALL BEGAN. often called the most boring route which, I guess yeah because it’s the first route of the first game so it ends up being exposition central. it has its moments and it’s not bad per se but it hasn’t aged that well and the rest of the series has caught up with it since it’s not the entry point for new fans anymore so like half the route’s content and plot twists end up being stuff that is already known from other installments. I still think it’d be nice if ufotable made an ova or something just to complete the set, and also because heaven’s feel actually mirrors fate route on a lot of points so I feel the hf movies aren’t going to be at their best if you haven’t gone over fate route beforehand. if you skip over the outdated exposition you can easily fit all of it in ~10 episodes cause it’s pretty short. 6.5/10 if looked at on its own, but its importance as the base on which later routes build can’t be underestimated

my personal favourite route even tho its heroine is the worst part of it. with fate route getting the exposition out of the way ubw can go at a faster pace and is more action oriented. the shirou-archer and related archer-lancer conflict is one of my favourites in all of fate and “here I come, king of heroes- do you have enough weapons in stock?” is ICONIC. rin got massively gimped as heroine cause nasu didn’t seem to dare actually letting her be flawed and shirou ended up too focused on his own conflict to form like a real bond with her but that’s a horse I beat to death long ago. the examination of what makes a hero is in general one of my fav themes in fate and ubw obviously delivers there but what I especially love in ubw is the theme of “don’t ‘welcome to the real world’ me asshole, the real world shouldn’t be like this”. 9/10 would be a 10 if rin had like, any character development

this one is... so stressful to read, which is GOOD cause that’s the point but that also means my reread is going at a pace of 3 scenes per 4 months. heaven’s feel throws every convention that fate and ubw set up out the goddamn window by immediately killing off like half the cast including powerhouses like gilgamesh and turning an ideological conflict into a really viscerally personal one. the final conflict isn’t a hero versus a world ending calamity, it’s a bunch of traumatised kids with bad blood between them and the rest of the world caught in the crossfire. “the embodiment of all the world’s evils was a victim” is a really powerful statement to make and where fate and ubw only really asked “what makes a hero” hf hammers in the corresponding question of “what makes a villain”. 8.5/10 it’s an incredibly strong thematic ending to the game as a whole but it’s just, not my favourite

jesus christ look what you did, you got me started. here’s a readmore to save your dashboard and rip mobile users cause I got some opinions on fate alright

this one fucking sucks if you look at it on its own it only works if you know fsn follows it otherwise its just DEATH DESPAIR PAIN SUFFERING yeah yeah we get it urobuchi. apparently he was going through a real bad depressive episode when he was asked to write zero and it was really cathartic to him to be able to write it as dark as he wants knowing that he can’t possibly ruin the happy ending of fsn so, I’ll give him that I guess. I thought it was the greatest shit when I first watched it cause uro’s really good at leveraging shock value but the flaws become more obvious with every rewatch. not really my favourite it’s mostly just asshole central and people who stan zero are usually insufferable but it’s got some good shit among the usual uro stuff. 7/10 PROVIDED you look at it in the context of fsn otherwise it’s like, a 5

BIG favourite and origin of my wife for life bazett fraga mcremitz. I read this one at the exact right time in my life to be absolutely destroyed by it. the whole game is based on the premise of ‘a second chance’ so it goes out if its way to go into the characters who got kinda shafted in fsn while also being the canon ‘everyone lives’ au. fsn has always underlined how valuable an ordinary life is that’s why we call it family dinner simulator 2004 but fha really hammers that one in. less outright action than fsn but a really strong and tense atmosphere. 9/10 would be a 10 if it weren’t for the fucking caren scene

basically revisits the themes from zero and stay night from a different angle but the cast is too large to really go into it so its clunky and a lot of characters end up sidelined. still it’s home to a lot of my favs and some of the coolest action in the whole series. I have a lot of apocrypha opinions but most of them boil down to who i want to hold hands with each other and how much I love sieg(fried) so I’ll spare you those. 7/10 thanks to shaky execution but if you take a shovel and make it that deep yourself it easily jumps up to 8 or even 9. don’t watch the anime I’m begging you.

the storyline actually suffers a lot from how linear and rigid the game structure is so its main selling point is hakuno and their bond with each of the 3 playable servants but by god does it deliver there. hakuno is one of my favourite protagonists of all time and it’s all in how they’re not going to take this shit lying down. it’s a game about forging bonds in a system designed to drive people apart and holding stubborn hope for the future. 9.5/10 the half point is as much acknowledgement of the game’s flaws as I am willing to give because we have decided to stan forever

lol what was that about linear structure? its like, super horny on main so it’s a hard sell but it basically turns everything I liked about extra up to 14. fate/extra CCC is a game about reaching out to others, how people are stronger together, how the future can be changed for the better as long as you are alive to see it, forming your own identity in the wake of trauma and learning who you are in relation to others as well as to your own past, healthy love and unhealthy love and recognising the difference between the two, and big fat anime titties. 10/10 i am not fucking kidding you if you can handle the horny CCC will be the best ride of your goddamn life.

look. i don’t want to get started on extella so just take the ratings. 8/10 concept 4/10 execution.

it’s incomprehensible garbage but it’s MY incomprehensible garbage 9/10 and 3/10 simultaneously

now we got some real mixed feelings on this bad boy here so I’ll try to keep it short. basically all the chapters up to and including london were mediocre at best with septem as the absolute peak of garbage. they actually said in interviews that they didn’t make a shift towards heavier story content until between london and america so that makes sense but it painfully shows. america camelot babylon salomon then exponentially increased in quality and were the fucking bomb. epic of remnant was a massively mixed bag thanks to all the guest writers with minimal supervision to buy nasu time to write lostbelt. lostbelt is fun again. the main story nowadays is really good quality because nasu is just doing what he does best and writing incomprehensible lore with a story around it but because of the game’s nature as mobile game that wants to make everyone appealing somehow it misses a lot of the visceral emotion that fsn had. events are often too silly even if they do end on a serious note and there’s not enough actual serious story content to balance it out so everyone kinda suffers from character erosion and I’m not sure if there’s an easy way to fix that, cause sure you can say ‘make nasu supervise it more’ but nasu’s always writing like 5 different things at once and he can’t really Do That. I think ultimately fgo has been good for fate as a whole in the story department and I also think a different direction/feel from earlier stuff isn’t bad in itself but the scale at which fgo works does seem like it’s beyond what nasu and co really expected to ever have to handle and so while the amount of successes has increased, the amount of failures has also become more glaring. 5/10 on the first few chapters, 8/10 on the later half of arc one and onwards, ???/10 overall, oh fate how I wish I could quit you (i don’t wish that i’m having a good time)

#bluelikeviolets #mod post

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quintessence-sentimentalist · 5 years

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quintessence-sentimentalist Takes on 30 Days of W.i.t.c.h.versary!: Week One

So I’ve been way too swamped as of late to keep up with this challenge day-by-day, even with only written answers (because guys, I write long answers, even when I cut myself short). As a solution (at least to start), I’m going to lump my answers for days falling within the same week together. Here’s Days 1 through 7!

Day 1: Favorite Guardian

Well, glancing up at my username and icon, I think it’d be remiss not to say Will Vandom, at least in some respect.

Will was my favorite from the beginning, back when I only had the chapter books with comic inserts. I can’t quite put my finger on why I gravitated to her, though I get the feeling that my love of energy/electricity-based powers had something to do with it. Plus, she got the cool transformation trinket! I’m sure there are many, many more reasons why she became my favorite, but this was also a good 15 years ago and even my obscure-detail-focused memory is having a hard time tracing back.

I’m not as passionate about comics Will as an adult, just in terms of how they loaded the poor girl up with so much drama that it’s just overwhelmingly exhausting, and she has some pretty immature reactions to her problems with her mom and Matt (pre-relationship). But animated Will is still my girl, with her awkwardness and quipping (of a different sort than Irma’s) and the way she grows as a leader, to the point where she’s basically set up a long con on even the viewers as a battle strategy in the latter quarter of season 2. This was the Will I grew to love as an adult rewatching the series after many years.

Since I’ve always been a Will Girl in some form, this has to be my official answer, but very honorable mentions to Irma and Hay Lin across both media.

Day 2: Favorite Villain

Alright, if we’re talking the animated series and you aren’t new around these parts, we all know it’s Shagon. Listen, this arc is 90% of the reason why I love the cartoon as much as I do, because they took a character from the comics with a nebulous backstory and a spooky, badass design who was relatively underused even with being Nerissa’s strongest/preferred minion, and decided to pull out all the stops. They gave a recurring character (who, okay, I already loved) with very strong ties to the girls - and who’d already evolved out of his role in the comics at the time - his own challenge/story arc about literally facing his inner demon; they gave the Guardians a deadly enemy to face off against (distract them) while Nerissa is off plucking up ex-Guardians one by one; they gave Will and Matt some brutal emotional turmoil that’s actually new and refreshing for the two of them (let’s send the repeated comics jealousy plotlines back to the kitchen, yeah?). And, uh, they made an already spooky, badass character design EVEN SPOOKIER AND MORE BADASS.

(The darker colors all around? The brilliant gold mask? The dark angel wings? I have been in love with this design since I was 12, alright?)

But! If we’re talking comics, then I’m going with Yua. I’ve talked about this at length before in a different ask game, but I think I gravitate to Yua because a) I’m largely not about full-on villains in any media and b) she’s a beautifully complex character in the context of the third arc’s narrative.

I’m not going to reiterate everything I said before and just redirect to that post, but I just find it fascinating that the banshee - whose species we’re repeatedly told are eeeeeevil by nature - shows more humanity than the actual human antagonists in this arc. She never wanted harm to come to Maqi, taking him away the second she’s freed as both revenge on her oppressor and a means of keeping this little boy safe from his father’s single-minded crusade. Yua even directly expresses this sentiment when Maqi falls, horror-struck and swearing that it was always about hurting Ari and never Maqi. And even when Maqi is... eurgh, “healed” (yeah, there are a lot of problems with the resolution to this arc), Yua has the opportunity to strike Ari at his happiest and complete her vengeance, but seeing Maqi so delighted makes her retreat, at least for now.

So yeah. More humanity than Ari and his blind rage in his quest to “cure” his son, and more humanity than Riddle & Co. in abducting an innocent teenage girl on the mere suspicion that she has powers with the intention of putting her through human experimentation. Yua takes Best Villain in my heart because she’s not a villain, not really.

Day 3: Favorite Love Interest

Again, unless you’re new here, it’s no shock that - if we’re talking animated series - it’s Matthew “I’m Arguing With a Housepet” Olsen.

As wildly different as it is from the comics, I do so adore his character design, with his dark hair (which, uh, may have been the first indication that I have a Type when it comes to my favorite male characters) and purple hoodie. His personality is so endearing too, because he’s not just the idolized older boy we initially see him as in the comics, but like... a legitimate dork. He’s sweet and plays guitar and generally exudes Cool, but you get to know him and it’s easy to see that he and Will are like souls. Not the best about expressing their feelings to the person they like, but always ready to step up and fight.

That’s another quality I love about cartoon Matt. Even before the Shagon arc, very shortly after even learning of the Guardian secret, Matt wants in on the action. It’s not in a “living out his action hero dreams” way, or even really a matter of impressing/protecting Will: it’s more about not being the guy who sits safe on the sidelines while everyone else is risking their lives, and trying to prove (largely to himself, in the end) that he’s worthy to be Will’s boyfriend when she’s a honest-to-Kandrakar warrior and he’s just “Funny Matt.”

I’m going to skip the Shagon arc for now because I assure you I could probably talk for ages about cartoon Matt, and we don’t have that kind of time now.

As for comics, I definitely have to go with Eric Lyndon and - technically a pseudo-love interest - Joel Wright. Oh, and Peter Cook!! Basically, all the sweet guys who don’t get quite as much attention with the comics and whose romantic relationships developed a bit later.

Day 4: Favorite Ship

Surprise, surprise: it’s animated Will/Matt. I’ve blubbered about them before, I will blubber about them again (please give me reasons to do so?), so I’m going to spare you all this time around. Just know that they’re my longest-held major OTP, and that it normally takes a hell of a lot to get me to full-on ship something.

(Real quick though: mutually pining dorks? Matt’s insecurity about being enough for his badass electricity-flinging girlfriend? Will’s drive to just blast shit down to find and save Matt? “If this all goes south, I’m gonna be beside you”??? Please ignore my choked sobbing.)

Anyhoo, there are a couple different comics ships I’d say qualify, though I might not be as passionate about them as I am cartoon WxM. Hay Lin and Eric are positively adorable, and I love how their relationship was slow but not agonizingly so. Hay was the only one not to get a love interest of sorts from the very start, taking us all the way to issue 18 before a guy makes her giggly. And I really appreciate that it wasn’t just a superficial crush, that while Eric was cute, it was his kindness and the time he spent with Hay that made her go, You know, I think I like this guy. It was a refreshing change of pace, they’re both adorable, and we ignore the fact that Eric was mysteriously written out and Hay has that one issue in the Dark Times late in the series where she falls head-over-heels for this rockstar-ish guy for no real reason and changes her style to try to impress him.

Honorable mentions go to Irma and Joel, who had excellent potential and should have still been kept as friends even if they decided to give Irma a different SO (we ignore the later issue where Joel just wistfully looks at Irma with his “We used to be friends” thought bubble and no actual explanation for why they aren’t anymore); and Cornelia and Peter, who I don’t give enough credit and definitely need to reread.

Day 5: Favorite Friendship

This is a tough one - can I say all of the W.i.t.c.h. girls together? Because outside of the first arc, there isn’t really a whole lot of focus on the smaller group friendships.

Cornelia and Elyon is a good one, though, literally spanning worlds because Cornelia is dead-set on saving her friend. I’ll toss Orube and Will into the mix as well, because Will was crucial to Orube’s initial character development and they seemed to have the closest relationship moving forward.

Day 6: Favorite Cover/Pinup/Promotional Art

Oof, giving me the hard questions, are we? I have a few favorites, but one of the first that came to mind was this one of Will. It’s the cover of the 21st chapter book, which I think is actually the pinup for issue 21. They must have changed it up for the US release in order to keep it more in-line with the actual plot.

Day 7: Favorite Episode/Issue

Hrm. Let’s change it up and start with the comics on this one. Off the top of my head, I have a soft spot for issue 32. It’s the zenith of the Sylla sub-arc, so the stakes are high, the girls get cute semi-formal clothes when they go to the opera to spring and hopefully evade Riddle’s trap, Sylla double-crosses Riddle and teams up with Medina and McTiennan (and I still think there’s a missed opportunity here with wiping that particular team’s memories of the girls), and we get the most iconic page in this entire comic with Orube beating up Riddle’s goon while brushing off a suitor and then coyly asking him to be her arm candy.

Issue 50 is another one I like, though largely because I enjoy the futures presented for each of the girls (I particularly love the concept of park ranger Cornelia and writer Will). And as a lingering vestige of my young, comic-Will/Matt-shipping heart, issue 40 is another nostalgic choice.

As for the animated series, I routinely consider my favorites on the chance that Greg Weisman still sells scripts at cons and I get the chance to buy that of a favorite episode. But true to form, basically all of my favorites are heavy Will/Matt episodes...

“D is for Dangerous” is fun because it’s the first time Will gains her quintessence lightning (yay!), the running gag with the Sisterhood of the Traveling Mr. Huggles is amusing, Elyon’s deadpan “Barehanded folding. My one talent” still kills me, and Matt and Caleb’s epic failures of training montages are great. “M is for Mercy” is brutal, with Shagon at his absolute deadliest and taunting Will with Matt’s disappearance, the utter hatred Will has for this demon who’s taken on the form of the boy she loves (and, unbeknownst to her, is legitimately a twisted reflection of Matt), and the sight of Shagon at his lowest while at Will’s mercy and her offer to teach him just that. “S is for Self” has not one but two musical numbers for Matt, and we finally get the resolution to the Shagon arc, so of course it’s a favorite.

But what the hell: I’m going with “T is for Trauma” as my favorite. I watched this episode three times the day it aired, and I still love it to this day. We get the introduction of rejuvenated C.h.y.k.n. (who wipe the floor with the W.i.t.c.h. girls at first), the Egyptian-themed costumes for no actual reason (“Could someone tell me how that man could look at me and think camel???”), Matt getting to fight as the badass normal for the first and last time since “L is for Loser,” etc. But most of all, this is Hay Lin’s episode, and it is absolutely soul-destroying but with a magnificent payoff at the end. It hurts to see the naturally lighthearted, high hopes member of the crew with her spirit absolutely shattered by her grandmother’s apparent betrayal, Eric’s brainwashing, and Nerissa’s general existence, and it’s just as painful that this was the way they gave her character development, but I have to commend this episode for one of the heaviest lines ever: “That’s how you survive the trauma - not by knowing it will be alright, but by having no other choice. ...I don’t have the luxury of breaking down right now.”

#30daysofwitchversary #30 days of witchversary #w.i.t.c.h.#quintessence-sentimentalist rambles

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