#respectfully why the FUCK has this not gotten more notes?!?!

[kaedehararchives]

AITA FOR BEING COLD TO A STRANGER FOR BEING WEIRD BUT THEY ENDED UP BEING THE GIRL I LIKED FROM MY CHILDHOOD ??? FT. SCARAMOUCHE ! cw: informal writing, ooc, modern au, plotless ?, crackpost, use of kys/kms jokes, ip address leak (NOT REAL!!! i dont condone this in real life. i think it's kind of in character for scaramouche) note: i think scaramouche using reddit for advice is funny. i might use this for a diff character. i didn't really have a plan for this one

scaramouche isn't the type of person to ask for advice. so why is he on the infamous site, reddit? well, he doesn't want to ask people knowing that he has weaknesses so obviously, he's here.

r/thehatguy aita for treating someone for being weird? i know how that title sounds but bear with me. i (M17) come from a predominantly rich family that is known internationally. when this person (GN17) came up to me, being all weird, acting like i know them. i was thinking that they were going to use me for connections / money / fame / etc. i didn't want that to slide obviously so i told them (dis)respectfully to fuck off. despite, my warning messages, they kept persistently to be friendly with me. in my personal opinion, i hate clingy people especially when we first met.

i tried my best to be civil with them and ignore / avoid them and their super weird-clingy-cringe advances. but she KEEPS thinking we know each other from somewhere. it's getting annoying... and frankly, i did get a tad angry with her and

after typing up a post, he already had gotten a few responses.

replies: detectivelover69 nta they prob deserved it thehatguy [OP] thats what im saying

thank god someone agrees with me. until he kept scrolling.

hydronarwhal idk why would u be weird to someone js because they want to be friends with you thehatguy [OP] why wouldn't u be mean to someone who keeps trying to be friends with u hydronarwhal dude i think you have some issues thehatguy [OP] did u read it right? read it again for me hydronarwhal just because ur rich doesnt mean they want ur money bro thehatguy [OP] 192.1xx.x.xx

after this conversation with this guy "hydronarwhal", he had enough of this. clearly, that guy is sick in the head. blocking the account from seeing his post, he went to sleep. well, he will check the comment section after he had a well-rested night.

one more won't hurt.

bobaya nah thats weird. i get you on that using people for connections thehatguy [OP] finally, thank you beetlefighter101 wait ur weird asf for leaking someone's ip address thehatguy [OP] that's just the celluar data tower they're using beetlefighter101 what do they use thehatguy [OP] t-mobile hydrowhales0612 can u not?

---

is he an idiot for leaving his notifications on for every app? yes. he is because why did his post that he was sure no one would really see due to the flood of aita posts, get l

[notification: reddit +1] adornthenight are u sure ur giving the full story?

adornthenight are u sure ur giving the full story? thehatguy [OP] duh... why wouldnt i?

r/thehatguy aita for treating someone for being weird (two updates)

[fruitsoxs]

me: *manifests in anyone's inbox as soon as wolfwood is mentioned*

hey socks! (love your name too btw) I haven't interacted yet but I really enjoyed reading your stuff, so here I am - Wolfwood prompts, you ask? how about him overhearing the reader get off, and maybe even them moaning his name? I know that's a classic prompt but haven't spotted anyone who wrote it for our man here

i like your mind anon--

pairings: wolfwood x (gender neutral) reader

warnings: !nsfw minors dni! , masturbating , descriptions of moaning, a bit of religious imagery but not a lot , idk wolfwood may be being a bit of a creep but you love him so it's okay

notes: just as a general rule i try to keep the reader gender neutral when answering requests unless the gender is specified- so if you want the reader to have a specific gender just ask :) also it's a bit short but i hope it's okay!! also i kind headcannon that they take turns deciding who gets a room the themselves-- and it just so happened to be your turn--

A better man would have ignored the sweet noises coming from your room the moment he heard them through the thin walls. However, Wolfwood is not a better man. In fact, he considers himself to be the worst of the worst. Someone’s whose sins are unforgivable in the eyes of God. So maybe that’s why, instead of respectfully ignoring the situation, his ear is pressed up against the cool wall as he drinks in every last noise you make.

At first he was a bit worried. 

Vash had passed out the moment his head hit the pillow, but Wolfwood’s head was full of all kinds of thoughts. Things he couldn’t fall asleep to without a fuck load of alcohol probably. So he’s left tossing and turning in the uncomfortable bed by himself for a while- until he hears a small whimper from the room next to him. The room you’re staying in.

He’s up immediately, a cold fear washing through his body. Are you hurt? Did somebody break into your room? He’s close to grabbing the punisher and knocking down the wall in between the rooms just to make sure you are safe- and then the next noise happens.

A moan.

Oh.

His face instantly erupts into a fiery shade of red, his heart slamming against his ribs. That wasn’t a very heavenly noise. He looks over to make sure Vash is still asleep (he should know by now that even the end of the world couldn’t wake that man up), and lets out a sigh of relief when he sees that his traveling companion is still passed out. 

Another soft moan erupts from your room, and the noise shoots down right to his dick. He’s already getting hard. It doesn’t help that he’s imagining what you look like right now. Sprawled out on your bed, lips parted and face flushed. He imagines your legs parted, your hand in between, touching yourself just the way you like.

Another moan - and he can practically see it leaving your pretty lips.

He doesn’t even realize how close to the wall he’s gotten, chasing the sounds that emanate from your room. You get louder the closer he gets, and he’s able to pick up on more sounds. It’s a beautiful symphony to his ears.

At some point his hand sneaks down to his groin, as he starts palming himself through his pants. This is wrong. He shouldn’t be listening to this- but another moan from you and all his guilt melts into a need. A lust that no man who carries a cross should have. He grunts as he dips his hand into the waistline of his pants, wrapping his hand around his dick. You whimper out something - a name or a curse. He can’t tell, you stutter it out so softly. He can’t even feel jealousy for whoever’s name falls from your heavenly lips. He doesn’t have time, because you begin to whimper in just a way that has him pulling down his pants.

His mind is blank at this point, too focused on the string of curses and moans that leave your lips. His hand moves, pumping his shaft with an intensity he hasn’t felt in a long time. He’s not sure if he’ll ever recover from this. He moves his hand a bit faster, a bit tighter-

“W….Wolfwood~”

He freezes. 

His eyes widen and his body tenses completely. What was that? There’s no way…he definitely just heard you wrong. His hand drops to his side and he presses his ear against the wall. He’s sure he heard his name just now. But then, like a prayer, his name leaves your lips again. 

He stands there for a moment, unsure of what to do. Before he hikes up his pants and sprints out his door. He slams his fist against your door and calls your name.

You emerge a little while later. Your hair is a mess, your eyes wide, and your cheeks a beautiful pink. It’s a perfectly normal sight for anyone who doesn’t know what you were just doing. Wolfwood knows though. He can’t help but stare at you for a second, and he wonders if you can tell that he was doing the same thing.

After a moment, you begin to ask what he’s doing but he cuts you off. “The walls are thin.” Is the only explanation he gives before he crashes his lips against yours.

[steffigraf]

warning for a clearly anxiety-ridden oversharing freakout below the cut. sorry. i’m too sensitive and i’m unfortunately acutely aware of it.

tldr; im being a drama queen. gonna take a tumblr break for a week or two. to my mutuals, feel free to dm for my insta. i’ll be active until i wake up tomorrow morning and then i’m gonna zip

gonna preface this by saying this is in no way directed to the people whom i actually talk to constantly on here like you lot were lovely and im just dealing with a lot of demons in my head :(

anyway. sometimes i feel more like a product manufacturer than a person on here. and idk. i know most of you guys are really just following me for gifs and content and whatever but. yeah. idk. i guess the things i say don’t matter to anyone unless it’s funny. or if people want to call me out. not that im mad abt that exactly btw i do appreciate when people respectfully call me out for my own mistakes but. sometimes. i feel like im in a fishbowl and you’re all just waiting for me to say something wrong and cancel me. or then again, maybe most of you already think im a shit person and you just stay for the gifs. or maybe you guys think i’m a loser who has nothing to do but spend all day on this goddamn website.

and i know, somewhere inside me, that that’s not true and that it’s clearly the anxiety talking. maybe it’s just me maybe i’m making this up in my head i dunno. but i’m just kinda tired right now. too tired to battle the anxiety like usual at least. and i don’t really feel wanted outside of the content i produce, beyond the notes of my gifs or my fun posts. which ik shouldn’t matter but. i’m a pathological people pleaser etc etc.

(god, seeing this all typed out, i can’t even fucking blame you guys if you actly don’t like me cause. i kinda wanna shake myself by the shoulders and tell myself get a grip girl the world doesn’t revolve around you shut up shut up shut your damn mouth—)

i’ve been trying to manage by unfollowing and blocking a few people (which btw, if i did that to you and we used to be mutuals, it’s probably nothing personal i mostly just kept people i’m a bit closer to). but i’m still not really settled. and considering how i’m posting like every other day about feeling like shit, you guys probably figured that out lmao.

and well. on a separate note. seeing that rat’s name alone is too much for me sometimes. i couldn’t watch his game with carlos. i spent hours in his match with daniil turned away from the television, wearing noise canceling headphones while trying (and failing) to talk myself down from a full blown anxiety attack. i’ve said this before but the way people talk about him, both the fucked up silence and the justified outrage, it reminds me way too much about a family problem i have right now. hits uncomfortably close to home. prior to this i kinda thought i’d made my peace with the whole family situation but no apparently not. had he won the semis, i wasn’t even sure if i would be able to stomach cheering for jannik if it meant having to watch that man play.

so. idk. between the way actual tennis has been making me feel and the way tennisblr in general has seemed for me lately, i figure i need some space.

long story short ive been spending way too much time on tumblr this ao. and its gotten really bad for my mental health i guess. so i think i need to take maybe a week or two, to clear my head. watch tennis without opening this app every other point. spend time with people i love. get back to therapy. try to be a functioning adult.

(this is so fucking dramatic for a goddamn week of no tumblr i know that and i want to smack myself upside the head because why am i like this why do i make things snowball why why why—)

anyway. yeah. that’s it. if you actually read through all of that then. thanks. if not it’s okay too.

to my mutuals, the ones whom i’ve had at least some form of friendly interaction with in replies or dms, you can ask for my insta account btw. not that i’m crazy active on there but like. if you guys wanna be friends beyond the anonymity of this yknow. no pressure though.

[phoenix-rising-starbird-one]

I posted 989 times in 2022

That's 232 more posts than 2021!

86 posts created (9%)

903 posts reblogged (91%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@buckymilf

@musette22

@justarandomgirly

@chromium-siren

@dusted-souls

I tagged 386 of my posts in 2022

#writing - 62 posts

#x reader - 36 posts

#reader insert - 24 posts

#mine - 15 posts

#sigh - 13 posts

#shameless self promo - 11 posts

#lmao - 9 posts

#lol - 8 posts

#sebastian stan - 7 posts

#😏 - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#this man’s adonis belt is fucking ridiculous and i’m like looking respectfully cause that shit takes dedication to look like that as in

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass it on to at least give other writers. Let's already the self love 💖

Thank you for this ask, Laralie. 💖💖💖

So I’ve done this before but it doesn’t hurt to give my other works some love.

1. Tesselate - A Stucky x fem!Reader one shot. This one started with the simple idea of what if reader can’t sleep after a botched mission and just went from there. Wrote this one at lightning speed and am really proud of how it came together, keeping Steve’s and Bucky’s traits and pasts in mind.

2. You with me? - A Poe Dameron x Reader story taking place in the Star Wars universe. Right now, it’s on hiatus and only written up to before the sequel trilogy. But it will be written within the sequel trilogy timeline. Fingers crossed inspiration hits me soon to finish this one.

3. You’ve got this! And we’ve got you! - A Stucky x friend!reader (platonic) one shot which I wrote days before I had started chemotherapy. I’d poured all my fears into this one. It’s not for everyone as it’s heavy on medical.

4. I Think We’re Alone Now - A modern AU, Firefighter/EMT!Bucky x plus-size!fem!Reader story. Currently only 2 chapters are posted but I hope to have the next one up soon. I went full steam into writing this and then I kind of crashed.

5. Bread, Salt, Wine and Tender Loving Care - A Bucky x friend!Reader medical drama one shot, written from my own experiences. It’s very heavy on angst. So be warned.

Honorable mention: The follow up to #5, which is Of Comfort Foods and Lightning Bugs and Midnight Dances. This one is Bucky x friend!Reader, Sam x Reader. It takes place two years after BSW&TLC.

Please head the warnings for these stories. Most are 18+. They, like my other ones, are all on AO3 and I’ve marked and tagged stories accordingly. Media consumption is the reader’s responsibility and if you’re unsure about the tags or warnings, skip my works.

12 notes - Posted March 28, 2022

#4

Why is it so wrong when I say that I’m not an ambitious person? Like? I’m not lazy. I just don’t care for the never ending contest of always having to be the best. I don’t care about leaving a legacy or some mark in history. And I feel like that should be okay?

13 notes - Posted June 12, 2022

#3

Just thoughts…

Sometimes, I sit here and wonder if my writings have inspired/influenced other writers.

I know that since I started back in 2015ish, there’ve been quite a few writers on here who have influenced my writing and who’ve inspired me to keep going. @oh-nostalgiaa @rinskiroo @whimsicalworldofme @chromium-siren @revisionaryhistory @plussizeappreciationfics @mycapt-ohcapt @drabblewithfrannybarnes @comfortcap @who-talks-first just to name a few.

When I say influenced, I mean that I’ve read some, if not all of their works, and in turn my story telling has expanded/ gotten better, from syntax to vocabulary to world building. Like never underestimate how much your writings have helped and still help me grow as a writer.

17 notes - Posted October 29, 2022

#2

This took an embarrassingly long time to assemble.

40 notes - Posted June 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

This gif of Seb is one of my faves ever.

He does the interview, gets distracted as he spots his love either in the crowd or just standing to the side. He’s maybe a little stressed but as soon as he sees them, all that stress just lifts away and he’s visibly lighter and more relaxed.

137 notes - Posted June 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

Neato…

[clovermunson]

author’s note: y’all thought i’d do these and not do one for my favorite speedster? ha, wrong again! it would just be wrong if i didn’t do one of these for Pietro. without further ado, i present a headcanon list of what it would be like to date everyone’s favorite silver-haired sokovian, who for personal reasons is alive and well okay? i may or may not have gotten a little carried away with this one too. as always, likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated, i just respectfully ask that you please do not repost my work and claim as your own! — xo, morgan💜

warnings: pure fluff. mentions of eating. mentions of dangerous missions. Pietro being a cheeky lil shit. talk of marriage and proposals. that’s about it really.

**for the romanian terms, a key has been included at the bottom of this list for their meanings!

dating pietro maximoff would include

everyone knows that Pietro Maximoff lives life in the fast lane

no really, the guy has no idea how to just slow the fuck down sometimes

okay so like he can be arrogant at times

but that’s just Pietro being Pietro because he does it so well

but surprisingly, he wanted to take a serious relationship with you slow and steady

he wanted to go through the entire courting process and goddamn it he wanted to do it right and absolutely perfect

PDA is at like max level though

this man craves affection from you

he’s easily jealous but in the end he revels in the fact that he’s the one who got you

he’s still using corny pickup lines like he used before you even started dating because he wants to treat you like he’s still trying to win you over

weekly friday night movie marathons, and Pietro gets excited when it’s his turn to choose the movie

he has so many sokovian and romanian nicknames for you

draga being his favorite one to use because it makes you blush so much

baking together. it’s a hobby that Pietro wanted to take up, and it almost always results in flour fights and icing being smeared on each of your faces

oh Wanda would know when you start dating Pietro

she knows just by the overly chipper demeanor that you both have

and because Pietro is literally always kissing you in front of literally everyone

he’s a very proud boyfriend, to say the least

at least three of his shirts have become yours, he doesn’t even regret letting you take them either

given his speedy and quite flighty nature at times, others wonder if he’ll leave you but he’s super quick to shut them down and reassure you

“draga, i promise you i am not going to leave you.”

and he always says it in the softest/sweetest tone

honestly it’s the most heart-melting thing

if given the chance, Pietro will swoop in and hug you from behind, resting his chin on either your head or shoulder

okay but he definitely rambles on to Wanda about how madly in love he is with you

and that’s the thing about Pietro, he feels his emotions so passionately that he gets a little ahead of himself sometimes, but he’s never been more sure of anything

you really are an anchor for him, the one person who can keep him grounded and stable— and he loves you all the more for that

OKAY BUT THE AMOUNT OF FOOD THIS MAN EATS IN A DAY— WHEW

that increased metabolism really kicks into overdrive and that’s why it’s so costly to feed him

not that you mind it though

Pietro asks Wanda to show you how to make his favorite sokovian recipes because he really can’t cook that well

when he’s on missions, to say you’re worried is a complete understatement

especially after learning about the events of Ultron and his very brave and selfless, albeit a bit impulsive and borderline foolish, almost self-sacrifice

you worry about him more than you should, but it’s only because he’s so impulsive and sometimes doesn’t think things through

the improved thermal homeostasis helps keep him warm at all times, so you’re often cuddled up to him trying to stay warm (especially in the winter)

you’re so scared to introduce him to your family, because even though he poses no real threat to hurting you, your family could be…well, very protective

but this man is so charming that he instantly wins everyone over within minutes

you’d always tend to his injuries though, even the most minor little cuts, scrapes, and bruises

“has anyone ever told you that you’d make a rather hot nurse?” Pietro slightly cocked his head, winking at you as you bandaged the gash on his arm

“shut up, Piet.” you tried to stifle a giggle, but you couldn’t hide the smile that had crept on to your lips, “sometimes you’re a handful.”

“but i’m your handful. and you love me.”

speaking of the three words

Pietro first said them after a particularly nasty mission, one where he was convinced at the beginning that not everyone would come back perfectly unharmed, but he was glad that mostly everyone came out okay despite a handful of near-death experiences

as soon as he came home, he bolted straight to you and hugged you as tight as he could

you were just happy to see him, you hadn’t even noticed all the cuts and bruises at first

“i love you, draga mea. more than anything.” Pietro’s head rested on your shoulder as he kissed the side of your neck

“i love you too, ingerul meu.” your lips met his, the two of you smiling against each other’s lips, “i’m so glad you’re home. now let’s get you cleaned up and taken care of.”

within about a year and a half of being together, you’d moved in with each other

and Pietro is surprisingly easy to live with. once the ground rules were established for the both of you, everything went smoothly

most date nights are nights at home together, just enjoying each other’s company

but when it’s a fancy date and you get all dressed up, Pietro’s jaw is on the floor

he can’t help it, you just look so radiant, like a literal angel

“take a picture Piet, it’ll last longer.” you smirk, grabbing your phone and keys from the table, tossing them to Pietro

“a simple picture wouldn’t do you justice, my love.” Pietro shakes his head, “you look ethereal.”

Pietro never forgets an anniversary

and he always plans his gifts for you months in advance

even if you tell him it doesn’t have to be extravagant, he always goes above and beyond because you’re worth it to him

honestly by the two year mark, this man was already very much sure of wanting to marry you and have children with you; he knew way before then

he gets jittery when he’s thinking of proposing

which is saying something because he never gets nervous about anything else

he just wants it to be perfect and he wants it to be memorable for the both of you so you can tell the story to your children in the future

ultimately his life goal is to just make you happy

because your happiness makes him happy

he’s very cuddly

okay but this man is such a sucker for having his hair played with

he will lay his head on your lap and just let you run your fingers through his hair for hours on end

he’s willingly vulnerable with you, which is a huge milestone for him because being experimented on by Strucker really made him a shell of himself for a while

this man gets all the kisses, hugs, and cuddles that he wants and it’s really not up for debate

but you happily give him all the love and affection he needs

before you can even finish the sentence “Piet, i’m cold.” he has already taken off his jacket and it’s around you

he promises to keep you safe from any harm, because your safety and well-being is his priority

this man is really such a dream

a literal angel

if you ever have a playful argument, he’ll just pick you up and carry you to the nearest couch or chair for cuddles because he just wants the argument to end

he’ll help out with chores around your shared apartment because he can get them done in the blink of an eye

Pietro loves to poke fun at you because he finds it adorable when you get angry and flustered at the same time

you’re both firm believers in goodbye kisses

no seriously, Pietro will not leave you without a goodbye kiss

once you jokingly forgot it and he got all cute and pouty over it

“draga, aren’t you forgetting something?” Pietro stared at you, his best pout on display

“i don’t think so…” you looked around, “you’ve got your gear on, you’re well-rested, i made you a nice home-cooked meal. i’d say you’re ready for this mission, darling.”

“ahem,” he cleared his throat, still pouting like a child who’d been told no, “what about my goodbye kiss?”

“how could i ever forget that?” you smirked, holding your arms out to Pietro as he engulfed you in a hug, pressing his lips to yours

“please never forget it again, my love.” Pietro mumbled against your lips, “your kisses are the best part of leaving for missions.”

honestly he’s just the sweetest, smoothest son of a bitch on the planet

all the plans he had to propose? yeah, out the window because he just asked on impulse one night, completely out of the blue

it was more of a general wondering at first

“is there a chance you’d still want to marry me?” he turned to you, his blue eyes sparkling in the light of the kitchen

“Piet, i’d marry you right here, right now if we could.”

and this man felt his nerves just spike instantly

because god he’d marry you on the spot too

so while you’re preparing dinner, he sneaks off to the bedroom to grab the ring from his bedside table

granted you wouldn’t have even known he was gone, the quick little bastard

he helped finish making dinner, and the whole time the two of you were eating he could feel how nervous he was— the high adrenaline, sweaty palms, everything

you kinda noticed he was more nervous than usual, but you didn’t say anything, figuring it was just him being worried about an upcoming mission

after dinner, Pietro suggested a movie night; complete with snacks, building a blanket fort in the living room, and letting you choose your favorite movie

him being so nervous because he thought he lost the ring, but when he felt it still in the pocket of his sweatpants, he was beyond relieved

“draga, can i ask you something?” Pietro finally gathered up his courage

“of course, anything.” you turned to him, your eyes holding a worried look, fearing the worst

“no no, it’s not anything bad.” Pietro chuckled, noticing your concern, “i was just wanting to ask if you want the same thing that i do?”

“i always have, my angel.” you smiled, “everything from marriage to starting a family.”

Pietro literally felt his heart start racing when you said that, this man is so in love with you

“well, i think we can definitely manage at least one of those things rather soon.” he smirked, taking your hand in his

“Piet, what are you talking ab—” before you even knew it, you were staring at the most beautiful ring you’d ever seen

“i’ve been trying to find the perfect way to ask you this, but i’ve been overthinking it.” Pietro chuckled at himself, “Y/N, my darling, will you do me the honor of making me the happiest man on the planet and marry me?”

awestricken, you looked up at him with tear-filled eyes, “a million times, yes. i was beginning to think you’d never ask, Speedy.” you giggled as he slipped the ring on your finger

“i kept holding out for the right moment, but i never realized that any time would’ve been the right moment.” Pietro smiled, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek, then one on your lips

and honestly, how could you say no to that?

the nickname Speedy hadn’t been used by you since you’d first met him, but god it still made his heart flutter, even more now

okay i should probably stop listing headcanons now

i got really carried away here oops

literally you and Pietro are the otp to end all otps, truly couple goals

ugh, y’all i miss Pietro if you can’t tell😩 brb gonna go write a Pietro fluff fic asap

key

draga = darling, honey, sweetheart

draga mea = my darling

ingerul meu = my angel

[ptergwen]

from one kid to another

w/c: 6.0k

warnings: mentions of drinking, lots of swearing, implied smut, and angst at times

summary: it was a mistake, a beautiful one that you didn’t make on your own

a/n: this genuinely is my favorite thing i’ve ever written :,) i say that a lot but this time i mean it, it’s really special i think and i so so so hope y’all do too <3 enjoy my loves

-

there’s only one thing in life that testing positive for is actually positive.

depending on the situation, obviously. yours isn’t ideal, or planned or a blessing or whatever people say. it’s a gigantic mistake that you didn’t realize you made until a minute ago.

you’d noticed something was wrong when your time of the month came and all you experienced was the symptoms. cramps, cravings, everything except your actual period. as everyone is pretty much taught to do, you ran to the closest drug store for a pregnancy test. what the hell else could it be? you messed around a few weeks ago, so there’s a possibility.

your heart felt like it was going to explode out of your chest the whole time you waited for the results. you’d thought of calling tom over for support, but there are a couple of reasons why you couldn’t do that. you realized you made the right decision when your timer for the test went off.

two red lines. you’re pregnant. you’re pregnant, and your best fucking friend is the father.

where do you go from here?

the test falls from your hand and hits the floor with a mocking clank. you slide down until your back is against the bathtub. well, you’re fucked. what an ironic word choice.

the fact that you aren’t ready in the slightest to be a parent when you’re still growing up yourself is one thing. it’s another that this could ruin the most important relationship you’ve ever had.

no, tom won’t be mad. he’s never once fought with or even raised his voice at you. in your times of need, he’s been the one to uplift you and kiss your puffy cheeks dry. no matter how he takes this, you know it won’t be out on you. he is half responsible.

but, with how you left things the last time you spoke, you’re not sure you’ll be able to get past it.

tom is alarmingly good at hiding how he truly feels. you always tease him that it’s because he’s a gemini. he’ll come back with shut up, i’m an actor and stick his nose in the air to give you the full image. in all seriousness, it does take a toll on how well he can communicate.

you’ve seen it in small ways, like when he brings you along for press days and uses unenthusiastic smiles to cover up his yawns. how he’ll be polite in a conversation with people he’d rather not speak to, then mumble about it once you’re home. he tries to put forward the “appealing” parts of himself even though he’s more than them.

tom’s biggest communication issue is that he’s been in love with you since year nine and hasn’t said a word about it. you’ve yet to figure that one out.

you two became friends while tom was starring in billy elliot. his schedule was so scattered between shows and school, so he struggled to balance both. he often had to stay late for extra help on the lessons. you’d also been there a few times. you worked better in the classroom, and he was grateful he didn’t have to be alone with the teacher.

most kids made fun of tom for his interest in theater, to his face and behind his back. not you. you thought it was just incredible that someone in your own classes worked at the west end. you’d told him on your way home one night.

he’d heard you before he saw you. “you’re tom, right?” you asked from behind him, the two of you making your way through the hall. the question sounded friendly, and it wasn’t every day kids were nice to him. tom stopped walking so you could catch up. “yes, and you are?” you gave him a small smile, books clutched to your chest. he instantly returned it.

“y/n. i heard you’re in billy elliot?” you laughed at your understatement, then corrected yourself. “that you are billy elliot, i mean. that’s so cool.” “oh, i am. thank you,” he chuckled back, a full grin taking over his face. you were both walking again, you by tom’s side. “i was hoping to come see you soon.” your voice got quieter as you told him, like you were nervous.

tom never had much luck with girls, not at this point in his life. this was an opportunity to change that. at the very least, to make a new friend. he offered something you said yes to without a beat of hesitation. “what if i got you the tickets?”

from then on, you began talking during class and not only when it ended. tom really knew how to keep the conversation going, telling story after story that left you laughing so much your teacher would shush you. you’d eventually moved to hangouts at either of your houses. harrison came into the mix at some point, the three of you forming your own group.

the difference between tom and harrison was that while harrison linked with other girls, tom was only interested in you. he’d gotten a crush on you pretty fast, if he was being honest. it might have been your shared sense of humor or the way you said his name.

thomas, when he was being cheeky. tommy, which took the place of a pet name. even regular tom. that might have been his favorite. he loved how it rolled off your tongue. he loved, and still loves, you.

you’d gone to all of tom’s performances you possibly could, the ones for school theater included. you also gave him the push to take his talents to hollywood. tom was afraid he wasn’t cut out for the big screen, that he needed more practice and experience first. you told him that if this was what he wanted to do, he had to start somewhere. why wait?

tom then landed his first movie role in the impossible at the age of fifteen. he’d received tons of praise and almost gotten nominated for an academy award, all because you convinced him to audition. you played a huge part in keeping him grounded when he was between films, and caught him up on whatever schoolwork he’d missed.

you practically zoomed to tom’s house when he was announced as the next spider-man. you’d been constantly refreshing every social media platform marvel was on since tom became a finalist for the part. that process was probably the most difficult experience he’s ever gone through. you’d know, having heard all about it from tom.

the two of you celebrated along with the rest of tom’s family that night. you kept giving him little proud of you squeezes on his shoulder or knee. tom is eternally indebted to you for being the most supportive of everything he does.

he of course sends the support right back. although he went down the movie star path, acting wasn’t for you. you’d gone off to university and studied hard as hell and aced all your shit. tom quizzed you on material whenever you needed. he wanted to help you somehow, and this was all you’d let him do.

he’d offered to pay off your loans and any other expenses necessary because he had the money to do that now. you refused every single time, not trying to become dependent on him. he admired your drive, yet hated it at the same time. everything you’d done for him, it was his turn to be the caretaker. it should’ve been.

whenever tom wrapped filming for the holidays and came back home, you were always preparing for final exams. he kept you company, content with simply being in your presence. you typed away on your keyboard and read over notes until your eyes burned. tom occasionally brought you snacks, tea, asked how you were and what he could do.

sometimes, he would have to cut your study time short. he’d say it wasn’t healthy or you were overdoing it and to come relax with him for a bit. other times, tom let you be. he didn’t want to get in the way of your already stressful assignments. those were the nights you’d fall asleep in front of your laptop. drool on your chin, hunched over at your desk.

tom made sure to tuck you in, press a light kiss to whatever part of your face wasn’t covered in spit, then let himself out. he knew where your spare key was, so he used that. you’d wake up to a “Fell asleep studying again. Rest today x” text the next morning.

when it came time for you to graduate, tom was on the first flight there. it was during another round of reshoots for chaos walking. he respectfully told doug that he’d have to work around his schedule or replace him, which couldn’t be done so late into filming. tom didn’t care that it made him seem like a prick. he was getting to you no matter what he had to do.

he’d earned plenty of stares and whispers from people as he took his seat in the crowd. he was a proper celebrity now, so he expected it. his solution was to ignore everything and chat with your family about how proud they were of you, tom the most. he saw you go from a kid attempting algebra equations to an adult at her uni graduation. you’ve really grown up together.

it was why he teared up hearing them call your name, seeing you beam as you walked across the stage. your mom grabbed his hand and nodded at him, like she could tell exactly what was going through his head.

you ran right up to tom after the ceremony was over, leaping into his arms. he let out a couple of chuckles as he spun you around. “i didn’t think you’d make it,” you’d admitted, happy yet sad tears in your eyes. tom put you down so he could pull you in for a real hug. “i’ll always be wherever you are, y/n,” he said into your ear, rocking you while you gripped at his suit collar.

flash forward to a year later, your career is finally taking off, tom’s is flourishing like it has been for years, and you’re pregnant with his child. you’re trying to recall the series of events that led you to this moment.

you were both drunk, blackout drunk because the only reason you remember sleeping together is that you woke up naked in the same bed. harrison’s bed.

he threw a housewarming party for himself, having recently moved out of tom’s and the other boys’ place. the three of them, sam, and you were all in attendance, along with a lot of others you hadn’t met.

neither you nor tom could figure out where he knew all those people from. he’d clinged to you two for the most part, more so you now with tom usually away. they could have been from work. harrison is breaking into the business himself, small roles here and there. tom actually met him in your school’s theater program, then he introduced him to you, ten years ago already.

sam entertained himself by making concoctions with the snacks harrison set out. harry got together a playlist for the party. harrison and tuwaine struck up a conversation with some of harrison’s actor friends. that left you and tom alone, out of stuff to do, and with one way to fix it.

“drink?” tom had asked you, a smirk playing on his lips. “love one,” you hummed back and set off for the kitchen. the two of you raided harrison’s liquor cabinet, grabbing his biggest bottle of wine. he’d dumbly pointed it out during the house tour he gave you before the other guests arrived.

you were about to search for glasses, but tom’s fingers threaded through yours. he gently tugged you away and nodded behind him. “let’s bring this upstairs. seems much more fun there,” he’d murmured over the music, a grin breaking across your face.

tom is big on clubbing and socializing, however, you aren’t. he comes up with ways to get you out of these events, just in case.

“we can break in harrison’s bed for him,” you said as a completely harmless joke, no intentions of that becoming your reality later on. spoiler alert: it did. “and how are we gonna do that?” tom quirked a suggestive eyebrow and breathed out a laugh as you dragged him towards the stairs. despite yourself, you’d giggled at his words.

not one drink in either of you yet, and you were stumbling and cracking up as you ran upstairs. you’d pulled tom by your still attached hands into what you remembered as harrison’s room. tom shut the door, locked it, saying under his breath that would be a “convenient investment” for him to make as well.

he took out a bottle opener that he must have put in his pocket at some point and got to work on your wine, you getting comfortable on the new mattress. the two of you passed it to the other after every sip, tom licking the taste of your lip gloss off his own lips every so often.

the equivalent of three drinks in, you were making out. both of you were just tipsy at this point, tom holding you by your hips as you lied down, your legs around his waist. god, he could’ve done this sober. he’d dreamed about kissing you, really kissing you since he was fourteen. you’d always felt like you two had something more. ah, there it was.

halfway through the bottle got you past the next two bases, and you were ready for the fourth and ultimate one by the time you shook the last few drops onto the tip of your tongue. tom groaned at the sight of that, drawing your half naked body in closer to his.

you two had forgotten to use protection in each of your drunken states. without a doubt, you both would’ve agreed to a condom had your minds not been everywhere but where they should have.

you’d woken up first the morning after, panic immediately coursing through your veins thicker than blood. a fully nude and sleeping tom had you in his embrace, arms secured around your middle, facing you. you gasped when you made the connection, loudly enough to wake tom up. his long eyelashes tickled your face, a confused pout on his lips. uh... um...

“did we fucking...” you trailed off, no words to describe whatever unfolded. “fuck?” tom finished for you. a very blunt explanation, but true nevertheless. “looks like it,” he rasped, pout changing into a smile. your face fell at the vague memories of how you spent your night.

you definitely wanted to do it. just, he’s your best friend, who’s seen you at your least sexy moments over the years. when you were sick, had breakdowns from stress, you name literally anything, tom was there. it took one bottle of cheap wine for him to forget that?

the real answer was no. tom is entirely in love with you, for a decade at that. you were beginning to discover you feel the same, only you had no idea he already loves you. you’d assumed this was meant to be merely a hookup. from the frown your face held, he’d thought you were regretting it. oh, were you both so wrong.

“um... we don’t have to talk about it,” tom told you halfheartedly, under the impression that’s what you preferred. you physically felt yourself get weaker in tom’s strong arms. he’s not interested. “yeah, that’s probably for the best. i...” you were lying. his heart shrunk, shriveled up inside his chest. she doesn’t love me like that.

“you have to go. aren’t you behind on some emails?” tom hoped you didn’t hear his voice strain from the tears pushing at his eyes. “right. almost forgot, thanks.” you’d plastered on a smile, slipping out of his grasp. a tear rolled down his cheek, so he wiped it away before you noticed. you’d already gotten out of the bed and begun picking your clothes up off the floor.

“i’ll drive you home, then.” he rolled on to his other side, you thought so he could give you privacy to change. it was that, and also because he was crying. he couldn’t hold it in. tom is naturally an emotional person. imagine finding out the love you’ve had almost half your life is unreciprocated. it’s soul crushing.

you two found harrison snoring and on top of tuwaine as you left the house. no silly remarks or shared glances for the first time in ten years. tom couldn’t muster anything up, and you felt numb.

the drive was painful. you’d said your goodbyes after tom pulled up to the curb, which held an odd weight to them. once you were out of the car, a sob wracked through him, banging on the steering wheel and not giving a shit about the loud horn going off. you collapsed face first onto your bed. hours passed by while you stared at nothing and contemplated everything.

since it happened, you haven’t spoken much. small talk over text every few days or so, both of you pretending things are normal for the other’s sake. about a month later, today, is when you found out you’re pregnant.

there’s no use wallowing in any of this. you need to figure out your next move, one that should probably involve tom. first, you want to talk to someone else. you want other opinions and a voice in your head that isn’t your own. harrison gets a text from you saying to come over now, the now in all caps. he does.

you let him in after the second knock, his eyebrows furrowing in concern. however torn you are, you must look it. shirt balled in your fists, lip quivering. he keeps his eyes on yours as he steps inside, pushing the door shut behind him. this is all becoming too real. “y/n, are you okay?”

you’re about to cry in three, two...

“haz, i fucked up,” you choke out, tears unable to stay at bay. he takes you into his arms for a hug. half your face is hidden in his shoulder, hands clutching at his back. he lets you cry it out, holding you until your heavy breathing steadies. “what’s happened?” harrison asks quietly, both of you leaving the hug.

“if- if i tell you, you can’t freak out. you can’t tell anyone else, either,” you instruct, searching his eyes for certainty that he won’t under any circumstances. “i won’t, y/n/n,” he assures you and puts an encouraging hand on your arm. your heart pounding abnormally fast, you spit it out. your first time saying it aloud. “i’m pregnant.”

harrison flinches and doesn’t even try to conceal it. he takes his hand off of you, worry swimming across his features. he blinks at you, unsure of what to say. you’d react the same way, maybe worse, so you don’t blame him. a discussion you, him, and tom had a couple years back replays in his mind.

the three of you were talking about your futures, seeing as you were close to living them. when tom asked you two where you stood on having your own families, you didn’t hesitate to answer. “nope, the factory is closed for a long ass time.” until you were in your thirties, you aimed to focus on yourself. harrison distinctly remembered because of how you phrased it.

“you’re... you... wow,” is all he replies with. you head over to the couch, more tears welling up in your eyes. do the pregnancy hormones act up this early? harrison follows you over and sits down next to you with an awkward clearing of his throat. “do you want to be pregnant?” he has to ask because he’s not sure if he should congratulate you or what.

“i don’t know,” you answer honestly, voice airy. your eyes are fixed on the wall in front of you. you haven’t given yourself time to think about it. there are so many reasons you don’t, and a single one you do. “do you, um, know who the dad is?” harrison glances over at you. “yeah.” your voice cracks. you’re both afraid for him to ask what he does next.

he shifts so he’s sitting up. “can i know?” a sniffle passing through you, you finally look at him. “it’s tom,” you say it before you lose the nerve to. harrison’s face doesn’t change this time. he isn’t surprised you and tom went there. he’d seen your friendship growing into more the older you all got. what he can’t believe is where it took you.

his best friend pregnant, and his other best friend responsible for it.

“when did you...” “at your party,” you explain, bringing your legs up so they’re criss cross on the couch. “i thought you were gone a little too long.” he says that to try cheering you up. you appreciate the effort, but it doesn’t work. you’re not in a joking mood. he’ll stick to the main issue. “so, have you told him?”

“clearly not,” you scoff, not at him but at what you two have gotten yourselves into. “y/n... i think you should tell him,” harrison sighs out, then adds, “whether you keep it or not.” “why? that would ruin everything, it already has.” you’re getting angry now, which plunges you into angry crying, voice unsteady as you go on.

“the last time i saw tom was that night, and i guess it meant more to me than it did to him because we haven’t talked about it at all. he didn’t want to.” you swipe the back of your hand across your eyes, gaze stern compared to harrison’s soft one.

he drapes an arm around your shoulders, you curling into him with another sniffle. he doesn’t say anything for a minute, then he tries again. “i know you, y/n, and i know tom. you’ll kill yourselves not talking about this.” he’s right, no shit he is. avoiding telling tom how you feel, and your pregnancy on top of that, it’s eating you up inside. it’s swallowing you whole.

“what if he doesn’t want to be a dad? or- or i’m a shit mum?” you croak out, your doubts getting the best of you. “i can barely take care of myself. what am i supposed to do with a baby?” you’re leaning forward with your hands pressing into your temples. harrison’s hand moves to your upper back. “i- i don’t think i should have them. i... we can’t,” you conclude.

“tom loves kids,” he gives you a gentle reminder. “why would his own be the exception?” another good point, yet you still have rebuttles. “right, he’s a godfather and he’s really good with them and all that, but i’m not the right person, and it’s a terrible time,” you tell him all at once, in a rush to get your words out before harrison’s sway you.

“he’s never around, i’m doing my own stuff. we’re not meant for this.” you lift your head out of your hands and sit back on the couch. harrison returns his hands to his lap. he’s frowning at you, which you see from the corner of your eye. “i’m not going to force you to have the baby. just saying you have options.”

yeah, really shitty ones.

“either way, talk to tom.” harrison says this more like a demand so you’ll take his advice into actual consideration. “at least about the hookup.” your teeth sink into your lower lip, eyes watering for the nth time already.

you have no choice because he’s right again. you’ll never move on from what happened unless you and tom address it.

the next morning, you do what harrison told you to and invite tom over. he replied saying he was on his way maybe a minute later. he’s nervous to see you because yeah, but more so looking forward since it’s been so long. you’re so nauseous you barely have room for nerves. it’s morning sickness with a hint anxiety.

it feels almost normal when he first gets here, no how’ve you been and what are you up to these days? being as close as you and tom are, you’re not capable of such a dry conversation. personally, you still feel uneasy while he recounts a golfing incident him and harry got into the other day. you know something he doesn’t.

“when i tell you we flew, we flew,” tom makes a pushing forward motion with both hands. “right into the tree. i think harry, like, dented part of his face.” he lets out a breathy laugh, you forcing out one of your own. you’d be more interested without the fact that you’re expecting a child, his child, at the back of your mind.

tom exhales, shifting to face you on your couch. it’s funny how different things were when you and harrison sat in these same spots yesterday. so much has and is about to change.

“they had to send another golf cart to come get us. it was wild.” “it sounds wild,” you hollowly agree. he can tell you’re not too invested in hearing about harry’s terrible driving skills, so he changes the subject. “anyway, harrison told me he came over last night?” your stomach drops, heat coming over your whole body.

“did... did he say why?” you murmur with a look of urgency in your eyes. tom shrugs a shoulder, and casually. there’s no way he knows. “no, was he supposed to?” his tone stays playful, which you can thankfully tell. that puts you more at ease. “no. no, never mind. i would’ve asked you to come, but...” you’re searching through your catalog of excuses.

thank god tom says something else because you can’t find a good one. “it’s alright. i actually, um, had a work call.” a small smile spreads across his face, a proud one. intrigued, you raise both eyebrows. “what’d you talk about?” tom twiddles with his fingers in his lap. “i’ve been offered an audition for this really amazing film. everything works out, it’ll be huge for me.”

you’re smiling back this time, putting a hand over one of his. “woah, that’s incredible. i’m so happy for you, tom.” you lock your fingers with his from the back of his hand. he looks down at them, humbly shaking his head. “when is it?” “a few weeks from today. it films in brazil...”

oh. you can’t tell him now. it’s not worth him missing out on a milestone in his career for a baby you’re not sure you should have. that would be so unfair of you to ask. what are you going to do, not support his dreams for the first time in a literal decade? and, you’d call yourself his best friend through it all?

you guess this also means the way you feel about tom is one sided. he’s okay with leaving you after the most intimate moment you two have ever shared. you’ll dance around it the rest of your lives. better yet, act like the night never even happened. that’s not so easy to do when you’ve got a permanent reminder of it.

the thought makes you sick to your stomach. so sick, you could...

while tom is talking more about what the audition entails, you suddenly bolt up from the couch. you run for the bathroom, a hand cupped over your mouth. his face twists up in confusion from your disappearance. tom calls, “y/n/n?” out to you, but you can’t respond because your head is in the toilet. he rushes in when he hears you retching.

he gets onto the floor with you. you’re bent over, puking your guts out, back in another place where your life changed forever less than twenty four hours ago. tom pulls your hair out of your face and into a makeshift ponytail with one hand, his other on your back. that’s all you have in you. you stay over the toilet just to be sure.

saliva drips from your mouth, making you cough roughly, the sound echoing. tom moves so he’s next to you, keeping his hand in your hair and not caring one bit about the smell because he loves you and he’s utterly concerned about what he witnessed.

“love, are you sick?” he coos, searching for your eyes. they water from the intensity of everything. “morning sickness,” you answer without thinking first. shit. shit, shit, shit. it came out of you like more vomit, word vomit. there’s no going back now.

tom lets go of your hair with his eyes still on yours. his hand on your back then leaves you, fingers trailing down your body as they go. “morning sickness,” he repeats, putting it together. “you’re pregnant?” guilt taking over your features, you sit across from tom. you’re once again leaning against the bathtub, him against the counter.

“this isn’t how i wanted you to find out,” you admit and bring your knees up to your chest. “i took a test yesterday. it was positive.” your arms wrap around your legs, you now tearing up because tom figured it out. a shaky breath passes his lips. “i haven’t gone to my doctor or anything yet, but i-“

“are you keeping the baby?” tom cuts in. not to judge you for your choice, to find out what the fuck is going on before he travels across the world. you tighten your arms around yourself, grabbing your wrist. “i haven’t decided.” he gives you an understanding nod and reaches out for you. you dodge him. he might not want to do that after what you say next.

“tom, i... there’s more,” you whimper out. “yeah. i’m... i’m listening,” tom croaks, unable to hold in his infinite amount of emotions for a multitude of reasons. he’s losing you a second time. more tears spill from your eyes as you break the news, the news that will destroy what he’s been working towards his entire life.

“the baby is yours.” his face relaxes, looking almost relieved when you confess it. “when we slept together, uh,” you’re sure it’s obvious enough that you don’t have to go over the details. he’s tearing up himself. you reluctantly continue. “if you still want to audition, i get it. we don’t have to do this.”

“fuck the audition. fuck the whole movie. all of my movies, really,” tom surprises you by blurting out. he moves in until your legs are touching. “i’m staying. even if you don’t have the baby, i have to be here.” you watch in disbelief as he wipes away what are actually happy tears. “really? i was scared you’d resent me for it, or hate me even,” you mumble to him.

“y/n, what? why would i ever do that?” tom places a hand on your cheek, touch gentle and filled with love. you part your legs so he can be closer to you. he takes the space between them, thumb brushing over your skin. “i didn’t think you’d want to deal with all of this. i thought that night was only a hookup for you.” your voice wobbles under his gaze.

“no, are you kidding? i thought that’s what you thought.” he’s smiling now, eyes twinkling along with it. what he’s been meaning to tell you since you were only kids finally comes out. “i’ve loved you as long as i’ve known you, y/n. i always imagined myself doing this with you.” his words draw a quiet laugh from you, a happy one. “i know we were drunk, but i meant it all.”

the sincerity in his voice, the warmth in his eyes, they make you cry all over again. you’re getting used to it.

“i love you, tom,” you lean into him with a sniffle and a grin, his forehead now resting on yours, using his thumb to catch one of your tears. “i really do.” “i love you forever. i always have,” tom speaks lowly, breath fanning across your face. your hands grab at his shoulders. “so, you’ll stay? you’ll do this with me?” he reminds you of what he said before, this time a promise.

“forever.”

-

you ended up having the baby, and tom held your hand through the entire labor. nikki was holding his other hand, your mom holding your other hand. harrison had originally been in the room as well. when you started to push, he got freaked out and had to leave. your support system remained strong either way.

despite his repulsion of your daughter’s birth, you and tom decided to make harrison her godfather. he eventually became the godfather of your other two children also, which you had a few years later.

tom took a paternity leave from the industry so he could be with you and jamie. he’d also used his time off to propose to you, something else he fantasized about since year eleven in school. it wasn’t anything too grand because the whole world was already buzzing about you two, and a big gesture felt too impersonal with everything you’d been through together.

he did it in the form of passing a note, something you often did in class to avoid being scolded by your teacher for talking. the note came with a pencil to check off either the yes or no box, “will you marry me?” written above them. anyone else would have found it so unromantic, but you giggled as you checked off yes before your lips crashed into his smiling ones.

you were married shortly after the proposal, jamie as your flower girl and all your friends and family in attendance.

to do what he loved and stay with the people he loved, tom created his own version of hollywood in london. he took it upon himself to assemble a team and make a production company. harry behind the camera, harrison and tuwaine in the films, and tom either starring alongside them or directing. they give so many young actors tons of opportunities.

you eventually went back to work, too. it was like you’d never left, coworkers offering endless hugs and going over what you missed, not that you struggled getting into it. tom was there to celebrate every promotion, every compliment from your boss, every part of your life. jamie was also there, then liam and lucy.

all three of them are running around the house right now, putting on shoes and collecting their supplies for school. you take a sip of the orange juice liam didn’t finish with a lighthearted eye roll. tom chuckles as he passes you in the kitchen, getting the kids’ lunchboxes for them to minimize the chaos.

“you have that pitch meeting today, right?” he slips his hands through the lunchbox handles and walks over to you. “mhm,” you hum, mouth full with juice. his lips press to your temple, giving your waist a one handed squeeze. “you’ll smash it. always do.” “thanks, tommy.” putting down the cup, you reach up to button whatever parts of his shirt he didn’t have time to.

“aren’t you doing a casting? for the new script they sent?” you wonder aloud and smooth down the cotton material. “me and harry. should be interesting,” he remarks, you giving him a quick kiss back on his chin. they tend to have their artistic differences. “good luck with that. you do drop off, i’ll do pick up?” you pat one of the lunchboxes around his arms.

“deal.” tom goes in for a kiss on your lips, then a chorus of dad, we have to go led by jamie rings through the house. with a knowing smile, you push at his chest. “see you later. love you.” “love you, holland,” he bites back a grin of his own. his last name, now yours, suits you perfectly.

[neoculturetravesty]

We met in online class - Last Part

Image adapted from here.

Pairing: Renjun x Reader Genre: College AU, romance, angst, fluff Warnings: Strong language Word Count: 3.4k

Navigation: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | You are on the Last Part

A/N: And so it comes to an end, and let me tell you guys, I am not okay 😔 This is going to be a bit of a longer A/N, so please bear with me. If you’d like to get straight to the story, I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND, so feel free to click Keep Reading!

Lowkey, I had a bit of a meltdown as I typed the final words on this fic because I hadn’t realized how attached I had grown to the characters. This is the first time I wrote three different chapter openers before deciding on one, because I simply couldn’t believe it was goodbye after this.

These mofos had constantly been on my mind for the past two months and a half. I would spend most days thinking about where to take them and then bringing them to life at night, after my entire day was over. When I wasn’t writing, I’d make little notes about thoughts I had into the night about them so that I wouldn’t forget them when morning comes. 

This was my first ever (and as of right now, my only) chaptered fic. I had no idea parting with it would be as emotional as it was. When I think back to when I first received the prompt for this, I had never even imagined I could write Renjun, let alone a series. But there was something in the prompt that had gotten my wheels turning. And I am so immensely glad that it did. There were days when I thought “Oh man, what have I gotten myself into.” Some days, the story would just flow. Other days, I’d keep staring at the blinking cursor not knowing what to type. But when I did, I found my emotions so deeply connected with the characters. I was happy when they were happy. I was sad when they were sad. So, parting with them is very hard to say the least.

But through this journey, I got to experience the joy of reading all of your reviews and comments and honestly, it made it all worth it. THANK YOU to every single one of you that read this story and waited on it and laughed and cried with it. You have made my life better in more ways than you can imagine.

In this moment, I want to thank 🍙 anon, because it was their prompt that put me in this mess in the first place. And so, it is only fitting that I dedicate the final part to them 💛

“Oh, we definitely need a picture together. How about here? I think this place would fit everyone.” Kim Doyoung looks about, finding a spot best suited for the photo he wanted.

“I think right there on the platform would be better. We could get everyone in two tiers.” his assistant suggests.

“You’re a genius. Let’s gather everyone. It’s not often that so many NCTU grads and students come to Midnight Arthouse,” Doyoung nods.

“How many of us are here, anyway?” Renjun muses. The assistant looks at her iPad, checking once again.

“I think there’s 23 of you. So, let’s definitely go for the platform.” she nods.

“Okay, then.” Doyoung claps his hands together once, “Gather everyone,” he says to no one in particular and walks ahead with purpose. Renjun and the assistant’s eyes meet and they smirk. Of course this was directed to the both of them. So, they set about to work.

As it would turn out, gathering 23 people from a charity event with art and food and drinks would be a bit of a task. But somehow, they manage to gather all alumni and current students on the platform in three tiers instead of two for a somewhat chaotic picture. There must’ve been something in the water at NCTU because none of it’s students could stand still for very long. They get maybe one decent picture and several in which someone or the other was moving or pulling a face.

His friends aside, looking around at the group, Renjun realized that he recognized nearly all of them. Yangyang and Hendery and the rest of their frat were here. As were the 127s, old and new. Renjun recognized them all, except maybe two boys, who didn’t seem to know a lot of the others either. When the pictures were done and the main events were over and the crowd had started to dissipate, Renjun finally walked over to the artwork to observe it up close.

Honestly speaking, watching the work with his own two eyes left no doubt in his mind that this artist deserved to be spotlighted like this. This work was in a league of its own. Watching it makes Renjun smile; because looking at it makes him think back to a few months ago when he was sitting in Kim Doyoung’s office, thinking of himself as some sort of a big shot. But the truth is, there was no way he had that caliber then, and there is no way he has that caliber now, though he was sure as hell working on it.

“This is the piece I lost the bid on.” Renjun hears a voice and he turns around to see Zhong Chenle’s father observing the art with him. Renjun bows politely and smiles under his mask,

“I mean, this is a remarkable piece. You have good taste.” Renjun acknowledges.

“What about you? Why isn’t any of your artwork displayed here?” he asks and for a while, Renjun smiles a bit nostalgically. He could’ve been here, had he made something for the Annuale. Had he just selfishly taken that shot. Then again, there would’ve been no real guarantees. Because Kim Doyoung was pretty particular in the people he chose, whether they were recommended by his family or not. Working with him closely in the last couple of months had taught Renjun that. It had also taught him how underdeveloped his skill was in the real world context.

“I guess I still have a long way to go.” Renjun replies humbly.

“Don’t we all?” Chenle’s father nods, “Are you working here at this establishment?” 

“Um, I… I suppose I am. I am Kim Doyoung’s apprentice. He is my mentor.” Renjun nods.

“So I might see your work here soon enough, eh?” Renjun assumes the kind man is smiling under his mask because his eyes seem to be making the same shape as Chenle’s do when he smiles. So Renjun grins back.

“I mean… if I work really hard, I might get to shoot my shot in the next Midnight Arthouse Annuale.” Renjun fantasizes.

“Or maybe you’d get lucky like this young artist,” he points his chin towards the artwork.

Renjun smiles, “I would credit her luck, too if I hadn’t seen her work. But her talent is… it kinda speaks for itself.”

“Oh, no, you should definitely credit her luck. Talent isn’t enough. The stars have to align. Luck, talent, the right place, the right time. It all has to come together.” he says nodding. 

Renjun considers his words. They seem to be coming from the wisdom of experience. 

What if Renjun hadn’t received the phone call about his grandma back then? Well, then he probably would’ve made something lackluster and gotten rejected. Working with Kim Doyoung has taught him as much. It didn’t matter who had put a word in for him. At the end of the day, his work had to be outclass.

What if he had received the phone call and then still had enough time to submit something for the Annuale? Then he still probably wouldn’t have because… well, because of you.

What if he had gone ahead, regardless of you or his grandma and just made something and submitted it? Then he still would’ve been rejected. Because the truth of the matter is, he just didn’t have the caliber that artists associated with Midnight Arthouse did.

In that sense, Renjun supposes everything was in fact happening at the right place and right time now. Doyoung was mentoring him and he was getting better by the day. The stars were aligning for him. He knew it in his heart.

“Then I would wish that it all comes together for me, too.” Renjun says.

“When it does, young man, I’ll be the first one to bid on your work.” he says and Renjun doesn’t even have the time to react when he feels a presence breeze in his direction and invade his personal space.

Renjun doesn’t even have to look up to know who it is. He can tell by the way this body fits perfectly into his side. He can tell by how naturally his own body responds and just puts his arm around it’s waist.

“Oh man, I missed all of it, didn’t I?” you lament, as you loop your arms around his neck from the side instead of a hello.

“Not all of it. The guys just left but your brother and his friends are still here. Besides, you had work.” Renjun turns his head and looks into your eyes to reassure you. “Y/N, this is Chenle’s father.”

“Oh, hello!” you say cheerfully and respectfully bow and give you greetings. “It is so nice to meet you. Chenle looks just like you!”

“Yes, I’ve been told I’m a more handsome version of him,” he smiles then turns to Renjun, “And who might this young lady be?”

“This is my girlfriend, Y/N. She goes to NCTU with us.” Renjun introduces you and you bow again. Oh, the thrill he got every time he got to introduce you as his girlfriend. Fuck, he’s pretty sure he’d never tire of it, even if it had just been a few months. The serotonin boost in his veins is strong and he gets the urge to squeeze you and hold you forever.

“Oh, that’s very nice. Come have a meal with us before we have to catch a plane back home, okay?” Chenle’s father invites the two of you. 

“Oh, I would love to!” you say in your chipper tone before your eyes start darting around “I’m going to have to excuse myself for a little bit, I just wanna say hi to my brother.” you say and you politely bow before you start moving away.

“Babe, hang on…” Renjun says, holding you back by your hand. He brings his fingers delicately to the bridge of your nose and softly pinches down the mask over it so it sits more snugly on you. “There, it’s much safer now.” Renjun nods and watches the affectionate smile your eyes give before you move away. You looked so pretty today, even if you were just coming back from a four-hour internship. You were easily the most beautiful girl in this room, though Renjun suspected that you’d be the most beautiful girl in any room you entered. 

Albeit sometimes, Renjun had to wonder if your talent or your beauty was greater. Because you had become the only junior in NCTU to land an internship at the SMK Trainee Drive. And now that you were a senior, you were somehow managing to keep your grades up alongside it. 

Renjun, on the other hand, would find himself struggling with balancing his apprenticeship with his school work. So he knew firsthand how your discipline was something else altogether. Recently though, he had experienced a rise in his grades because you had been taking him on so many study dates that your organizational skills and motivation had started to rub off on him.

Renjun walks around the studio and the party and feels like it’s been too long till you’re finally back by his side. 

“Love in the Time of Corona,” you read the title of an art piece displayed in front of you. “That was supposed to be our thing.”

Renjun laughs and has no qualms in looping his arms around your waist and finally pulling you into himself.

“I guess we should’ve realized then how un-novel the idea would become in a few months.” he comments. 

“Un-novel is not a word, Huang Renjun.” you narrow your eyes at him.

Renjun laughs. “It is now,” he says and lets out a long exhale, “I missed you today.” he complains, though he looks down at you with warmth.

“Well, you’ve got me now. And you have me for the entire weekend.” you reassure him, your palms on his chest.

“Mhmm.” Renjun smiles and he wants to lean in to kiss you. But Kim Doyoung specifically had people assigned to walk around and make sure that everyone had their masks on when inside. “Also, we already have a thing.” he reminds you and winks.

You laugh, and say “I guess we do,” then let out a happy sigh as your eyes avert from his for a moment, taking in your surroundings. “Our Couple Thing should give you some ideas on what you can make when your work is displayed here in the 2022 Annuale. I won’t be late to that, I promise. I’ll take a day off from everything else in my life.”

Renjun's heart grows warmer still, and he’s sure his eyes reflect what he feels, “How can you be so sure my work will be displayed in the 2022 Annuale?”

“I don’t know, Huang Renjun. I just have a feeling about you.” you say and Renjun can see you smile even if your lips are covered by a mask. Your eyes always smiled before your mouth did, anyway.

“Y/N L/N, I have a feeling about you, too.” he retorts. 

“And what feeling would that be?” you raise an eyebrow.

“It’s a secret.” he says, but now he sees your pout, even if he can’t see your mouth because your cheeks have puffed up over the mask. It makes him laugh.

“You’re no fun.” you protest.

“I’ll tell you once we get out of here.” Renjun offers.

“Well, I’m ready to leave.” you jut your chin up. Renjun grins and offers you his arm. You grab it with your entire body and the two of you start walking out together.

You had plans for the weekend, after all. And Renjun was determined to keep you all to himself for once, with no one else demanding your time. Not your internship, not your assignments, not any of your friends, and especially not Lee fucking Donghyuck. He was finally going to take you away where it could just be you and him and nobody else.

This moment felt way too surreal to Renjun.

The campfire had simmered down from a glorious roar to a comfortable burn, giving off just enough heat in the cool of an early winter evening. The sky was in it’s fading moments, where the pink of the light was slowly turning to violets and the violets were slowly merging into darks. 

Renjun remembered suggesting to you all that time ago that maybe you could go somewhere together. But now that he was here, he hadn’t imagined that the moment would feel as surreal as it did. 

Because now the two of you are sitting in front of your tent by the fire, entwined in one another. You’re sitting between his legs, arms around his neck, nuzzling your cheek inside his padded jacket while he supports your head on his arm and kisses you.

He’s holding you in his arms and kissing you and everything seems so perfect that for a moment, he has to pull away to watch your face and wonder if all of this was real. And though there is a gentle smile on your face, you’re not opening your eyes much. Because you know full well that Renjun’s lips would be back on yours in no time. So you play with his hair as they fall to his forehead and when he kisses you again, you press up into him so he would wrap his arms around you and hold you tighter. He does and he rubs his hands up and down your back and attempts to close his jacket around you.

“Are you cold?” he asks lovingly. You shake your head.

“No. I just want to crawl inside you.” you say, like it’s the most logical thing to be said.

“Creepy.” Renjun remarks but holds you closer still.

“You should be happy you haven’t seen my collection of your hair clippings.” you quip as you nip into the skin of his neck.

“Oh, sweet. That rivals all your used tissues I’ve kept in my shrine at home.”

“Aww, you shouldn’t have.” you coo at him and then lean up to kiss him some more and he laughs. But soon, he pushes the arm that you were using like a pillow up so your face would be closer to his and he could kiss you as deeply as he was truly craving. 

The two of you keep kissing like that till the sky is dark. It was an odd sort of trance, being so lost in one another that neither of you cared about what time it was or how long you had been sitting here, wrapped up in one another. Your phones were zipped away in your bags and you hadn’t checked them even once since you had parked your camping van and set up your tent. It was a slow, peaceful sort of bliss, just sitting by the fire and kissing and kissing with nothing else on your minds but being here like this with one another.

“Renjun?” you say, your voice sounding like it was returning from a deep thought.

“Hmm?” Renjun asks as he combs your hair away from your pretty face.

“You know, I learnt today that a cactus can live anywhere between 10 and 200 years.” you tell him, idly tracing the birthmark on the back of his hand.

Renjun leans in and presses long into your lips. “Yeah?” he replies and watches your face. It seemed hazily focused, like it was trying to catch onto a faraway thought.

“I also learnt that it can take up to 30 years for a cactus to bear flowers.” you say in an introspective, wistful tone.

Renjun looks away to hide his smile. Oh God, you were so cute. “Yeah?” he says again, but it’s getting more and more difficult to keep a serious face.

“Sometimes, a cactus doesn’t flower at all.” you say and then you turn your head to look at him like you’ve resurfaced from your thoughts and are now in the moment. Renjun’s grin grows wider. “Renjunnn…” you whine and so he has no choice but to tenderly hold your cheeks in his palms and stroke your hair.

“What?” he chuckles.

“You said you’d think you’re worthy of my forgiveness when the cactus bears flowers.” you whine again and Renjun has to plant a loving kiss to your forehead.

“Is that what I said?” he chuckles some more and then leans in to kiss the anxious realization away from your lips. 

“Renjun.” you pout and Renjun laughs and takes his beautiful, whiny, kindhearted girlfriend in his arms and hopes that his hold could chase away all the worries from her pretty, brilliant mind.

He kisses you because his heart can’t bear it any longer. How did he manage to hold a heart like yours in his hand?

Renjun feels an indescribable amount of happiness. Like he wasn’t sure that you were really here with him, in his arms, all for him to hold, with no worry or burden afflicting him. The happiness is so immense and so incredible and so heavy that for a moment, he feels it suffocating him. He wonders if he deserved this kind of happiness.

But right in the next moment, he stops himself. He knew how easy it was to relapse into those tempting, lonesome thoughts. But if there was anything that therapy was teaching him, it was that of course he deserved happiness. 

Though right now, holding you in his arms, this happiness was choking him. He felt like his heart was swelling and pressing against his lungs and his chest couldn’t bear it and he could no longer breathe. 

“Y/N…” he exhales, holding you back so he can look at your face and you could look up into his. He pauses to gather another breath. Then, he just says it. “I love you.”

And doing so does the trick. He feels his chest slowly getting lighter, because this is what it had been bursting with. Now, he’s told you. Now, it can be unburdened.

You look up at him and there is nothing but a sparkle in your eye, and tenderness in your smile. For a while, you say nothing, just looking upon his eyes like that. “Thank you.” you finally whisper back at him.

Renjun pauses for a moment. But then, he relaxes. This was okay. You didn’t have to say it back right away. Renjun was ready to give you as much time as you needed. So he presses his lips into your forehead once again till he feels you laughing against him. He pulls back in confusion and you grab at the lapel of his parka.

“Huang Renjun…” you say and he looks back at you with uncertainty, “... I love you, too.”

And Renjun can’t help it if he kisses you too hard. He can’t help it that he’s squeezing you too tight. He wouldn’t care if the night brightens back into morning and the morning fades back into night. He was going to hold you just like this for the rest of his life. 

So he lays you down and kisses you deeper, like he wanted to make up for all the time he had lost. All the time in his life when he hadn’t known you. All the time he had known you and didn’t let himself have you. He was going to make up for it all. And as he zips the tent up and shields you from the rest of the world, he wonders if he could spend all of his days just like this. Holding you and loving you and knowing that you loved him back; and if he could, today was a damn good day to start.

The fire slows to a simmer till all that’s left are embers that keep being carried away by the breeze. But the two of you remain inside, in your own world, happy that you had found one another, happy that you could finally have one another. Happy that you could hold one another and say that you loved each other and have nothing in the world hold you back, not now, not ever.

You were Y/N and Renjun, Renjun and Y/N, two names that were forever intertwined because that’s how people would call you now. You were the couple that belonged so perfectly with one another that people would wonder if you’d been together for years. And any time someone with a burning curiosity would come up to you and ask,

“So, where did you guys meet?” you would just look at one another, smile and say, “Well, we met in online class.”

~THE END

Copyright © 2021 NeoCultureTravesty. All rights reserved.

[binniesthighs]

call me babydoll | reader x chan

soooo shhhh this actually a part one shhhh but i’m just trying out writing out different things and getting out some of my ideas outta my head that i’m really excited about, this one being one of them!! for now...just pretend that this is just a regular ol’ drabble hehehehe. this part is the set-up chapter (shhh i mean drabble) 

One

Pairing: self insert, female reader x bang chan 

Genre: fluff, smut, and angst 

Tags: (overall) bodyguard au, moderndayprince!chan, bodyguard!reader, secret agent au, royal au, action and peril, plot driven, running out of time, slow-ish burn, growing feelings, softswitch!chan, hardswitch!reader, some skz side characters, jeongin third wheel and comedic relief LOL, travelling, chan being expensive and having a lil bit of a superiority complex, flirtyyyy chan, bits of mystery, explicit language, mentions of food and alcohol, idk think like 007 vibes hehe 

CWs: guns and gun violence, a shooting in a ballroom, mentions of blood 

Word count: 4.6k 

Parts

ONE | TWO 

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here early.” 

“Well, expect the unexpected.” 

“Don’t turn the motto back at me. I’m sick of hearing it so many damn times.” 

“What? You and I both know that it’s true. You’re here early too, so, technically you don’t get to say anything.” 

Jeongin straightened his bow tie, then patted down the sides of his perfectly ironed tux with not a crinkle to be found. Knowing him, it was a miracle that he hadn’t messed it up in some form yet. He promptly took out his pocket square to clean off his glasses. 

“You’re looking nice. Seems like they don’t mind spending money now on you these days.” He blew off the flecks of dust on his lenses. 

“They know that they get their return on their investment. And thank you.” 

You smoothed down the sides of your dusty pink dress that nearly went all the way down to your ankles. Had you any other choice, it would’ve been something different, but, dresses were really good at hiding your thigh holster compared to the slacks you usually favored. You didn’t mind the times that you would have to put on a pretty dress, it somewhat reminded you that there was normal life outside of your job. Not to mention, they had started sending you jewelry as well. You always had liked the look of a diamond necklace. 

“You do your research for tonight?” 

Jeongin nodded, then took from his pocket his phone to read over the details. 

“I’ve done a background check on everyone attending, we shouldn’t have any issues. It’s already a low risk event anyway. Charity is never something to get too worked up over, but, you never know with the detail that some of these people come with...who they might be tied to...” 

“--The only people we can trust is ourselves.” You nodded with arms crossed. 

“Expect the unexpected, I know.” He slid his phone back into his inside suit pocket to adjust his cufflinks. 

“--Nervous?” You took note of his fidgeting actions. 

“Nervous? No. I’ve been through this before. You know that.” 

You flicked your partner right on his forehead strung with his white hair. You had really wished that he had picked a less conspicuous color, but he had strings to pull that you didn’t. 

Jeongin cleared his throat, “You do your once over?” 

“Do you even need to ask? I did it hours ago and when we arrived. You know that I’ve done this before too.” 

“I know. I know.” 

Jeongin looked out at the vast circular atrium that made up the center of the hotel. Several stories down under the glass rooftop, you could hear the faint sprinkling of the intricate fountain which smelled of copper. A bit further down, you could see the tips of the tree branches from the indoor landscaping. Across the way, a door slammed with residents tucking in their ties. The two men you had recognized from the roster: a simple thing which made you feel at ease. Your young partner must’ve started to have an effect on you. A sense of unease seemed to quell in your neck. You always listened to your hunches. 

“W-what do you think he thinks of us?” Jeongin broke the silence. 

“Well,” From inside the room you had waited outside, you could hear his distant murmuring, so you lowered your tone. “I think that he has yet to trust us. It’s only been a few weeks. He doesn’t seem like the kind to give himself up easy. That, and I’m sure his resentment of his father must have some influence.” 

“You think he hates us?” 

“I think he hates his father for hiring us. I mean, wouldn’t you? His old security detail, he had them for years.” 

“I guess so. But, we’re not like his old detail.” 

“No. We’re not. I don’t think he gets that yet. I think he sees us as one more way his father has a hold on him.” 

“It’s not like he can do much else about it when his dad’s a kin--” 

“--No, no, thank you, really, it’s lovely. Some of your best work. Thank you.” 

Chan swung open the door to his room, stopping Jeongin right in his sentence. 

“Ah. You’re here already. That’s...punctual.” 

As dazzling and showy as ever, Chan looking nothing short of a magazine model. For a prince, he had certain...appearances that he had to maintain. Today, it was a velvety and maroon suit jacket with a white button up. On the collar, two matching brooches had been perfectly placed, and they were silver like moonlight in the shape of English ivy and adorned with diamonds. On his lapel, he wore the royal insignia of the lion and the wolf. Behind him, you could see his slew of stylists cleaning up their makeup kits and obscene assortment of designer dress shoes for him to pick from. You had thought before that he even smelled like royalty: stuffy white roses with a hint of priceless cognac. 

Jeongin bowed his head respectfully. “Everything has been prepared for tonight. The rest of your guards are surrounding the building, and I’ll be corresponding with them as needed, your Highness.” He tapped at his earpiece. 

Chan drew his attention over to you, giving you a rather lusty glare. Over the past couple weeks, you had gotten used to it. He was a prince to every extent of the word. If there was anything that he had wanted, he simply had to ask. It drove him insane that all he could do was merely look at you. You had  wondered if he harbored anything else for you besides the way that he would devour the curves of your shoulders and hips. 

“Fox. Bee. You look nice tonight. I like seeing you dressed up. Makes me feel less out of place.” 

You couldn’t help but let out a little sound of discontentment over his rather affectionate nickname for you. You and your partner had been introduced to him as F and B. Quickly he had figured out Jeongin’s codename as Fox, considering that he had done a poor job picking out one that wasn’t related to him at all. Anyone could tell that boy was fox-like, and he also just wasn’t that creative when it came to picking out a name for himself. B, or Bee as he had decided, was your name; as in bumblebee. After learning about Fox, he figured that there was an animal theme going, so Bee seemed to fit best in his oponion. 

You tested his glare with your best, “Thank you, your Highness.” 

Jeongin gulped. “Your assistant should be waiting downstairs with your itinerary. She told me that you should meet her first off.” 

“You work too hard F. Have some fun tonight, hm? But don’t...drink too much. You’re responsible for my life remember?” Chan clapped his bodyguard on the back. 

Your partner nervously laughed and adjusted his glasses once more: his preferred tic. 

“And Bee?” Chan rose a brow to lean into close and whisper. “Stay close, alright?” 

“Of course, your Highness.” 

Chan let out a little scoff after getting one more proper look at your frame. “Damn. You really are stunning. Just a little too dangerous for me though.” 

You rolled your eyes, dishing him outa, “Whatever you say, your Highness.” 

Jeongin threw you and annoyed glare before tracing after Chan as he sauntered down the hall to the glass elevator. 

“Bee? You coming? Or do you have something better to do?” Chan’s voice called down the hall with an echo and a little teasing gesture of his hand. 

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

It had been seven years since you had chosen this line of work, and each time that you had to go to one of these things, you hated them more and more. Not because they were hard to control--they were easy--but you just hated how many superficial and self-absorbed people that they could fit into one room. 

The air was filled with the scent of champagne bubbles and too much Chanel No. 5. From corner to corner of the room, and even next to the ice sculpture of the lion and the wolf crest, silk, satin; velvet and the best cotton could be found. Long gloves covered the arms of ladies with wrinkling skin, and tweed vests held in the guts of men who indulged in their food just as much as their mistresses. All this effort just to appear as if they had given one care about the philanthropic efforts of the royalty.

Several neatly dressed waiters passed you with golden platters of hors d'oeuvres made of ingredients so expensive, they would’ve cost the same amount as the generous donations made by the attendees. If you could’ve, you would’ve scooped up as many of them as you could, just to eat all of their copious amounts of money yourself, but, there was somewhere a rule that you had to keep your hand to yourself when you were on duty. The best that you had to look forward too was take-out to eat at 3 in the morning with Jeongin later. 

Buzzing chatter filled your earpiece while each of the additional guards gave their hourly report. 

“Damn. It’s fucking colder out here than I thought. It’s fucking summer.” One of them joked to the tune of the other guards laughter. 

“Stay focused.” Jeongin scolded over the line. “Don’t leave your posts until your shifts change.” 

While he was a timid man, Jeongin was not one to mess around. Son of the director, he knew that he had big shoes to fill. After pleading for years for her to admit him into the academy, she had agreed. Everyone knew the reason why she didn’t want him in this line of work. Too many dead. Too many missing. In some ways, he was also yours to look after. 

You trailed after Chan who was busy talking to his assistant and his publicist. While he nodded at their words, you knew that he must’ve been barely listening. Chan never really was one for formality, but much rather enjoyed simplicity and pleasure. Jeongin and you had somewhat of a bet going: out of all the guests, you had liked to bet which one he would take with him to his bedroom. Since you had all the profiles of the guests, you liked to bet a little money on which one it would be. 

Jeongin had guessed it to be the heiress and daughter of a tycoon who had made a multi-million won donation in the name of his company. It was ironic; his very company was a big-scale pollutor who liked to make nice with the crown. She was conventionally very pretty: long legs, a thin frame, she was educated and looked as if she could hold somewhat of a conversation...not like that mattered to him. 

You had predicted it to be the foreign CEO who had just started business dealings with the crown. While she might’ve looked a bit stuck-up and prim, she was intimidating, and a challenge. Chan loved challenges. Chan also had a pension for pretty boys with a bit too much money on their hands--usually inherited--and with nothing much else to do other than dote on him. There were plenty of those attending the gala tonight. 

Chan snaked through the crowd, bowing his head at all of the Good evening, your Highnesses and the It’s a pleasure to meet you, your Highnesses. Every few moments or so he would take a bite from a golden plate and then pop it into his mouth. The whole night long, he would hold his glass with him and it would get refilled for him without him even needing to ask. You sometimes liked to pretend that in some places, they must’ve assigned someone to watch him from afar to make sure that he would never need anything before it was given to him. It wouldn’t have surprised you. 

“Having fun Bee?” Chan languidly rolled his head back, swirling his glass. 

“As much fun as you are.” You quipped. 

“Anything that I should be concerned about?” 

“Nothing of concern.” You stated matter-of-factly. Had you matched his flirting tone, you knew that you wouldn’t hear the end of it for the rest of the night. “Fox. Report?” 

“Nothing that I can see. No one has been tagging you.” Jeongin had staked himself up on the upper balcony of the banquet hall room, and had been watching for as long as you had been following after the prince. “You sensing anything strange?” His voice tickled in your in-ear. 

“Just a bunch of the normal crowd.” You kept your tone down low. “He’s rubbing noses with the usual. You’ve seen too?” 

He chuckled. “Yeah. I know what you mean.”

You followed Chan to his seat nearest the front of the room which had been fashioned into a stage with a clear glass podium in the center. Right in front there was one more crest decorating it. Chan had ensured it to be so: he had wanted everyone to know that this was all for his charity. 

“It seems like our bets aren’t working out. He hasn’t talked to either of the...suspects.” Your partner changed his choice of words knowing that the other guards were listening. 

From the opposite side of the room both the heiress and the CEO stood with thin glasses of wine in their lithe hands. Chan had in fact walked right past them, and didn’t even notice. 

“Tonight is going to be a long night.” Jeongin sighed over the line. 

You politely pushed past attendees with a raised hand and a sweet smile. You had found that when you smiled, you had appeared less intimidating. 

“Oh wait...what’s this?” 

“What?” You whipped your head around after Jeongin’s interjection. “What? Do you see something? What’s the call?” 

“Relax! It just looks like he’s approaching someone he wants to talk to. I think both of us are about to be proven wrong.” 

“Ah, shit.” You sighed. “Don’t put me on edge like that.” 

“I’m only trying to entertain myself.” 

“Name. Who is it? You’ve got the roster.” 

You partner was quiet for a minute, and you watched from a distance as Chan approached the man leaned over a martini seated at one of the perfectly decorated tables. 

“Uh, I think that he’s Lee Minho. Some kind of royalty from somewhere else. Pretty low ranking from the looks of it. I think that he made a donation himself...and it’s...damn, larger than you would expect.” 

“Should we be concerned?” 

“No. Seems harmless.” 

“Thank you for coming,” You made out the words that Chan had mouthed. He drew a chair next to the unknown man. 

From what you could tell, Lee Minho was handsome to the full extent of the word: nearly all of his physical features were exemplary and his suit appeared to have been fitted to perfect for him; likely one of a kind. He too wore an insignia on his lapel, but it was one that you hadn’t recognized before. He had immaculately styled hair that had some kind of rebellious and boyish charm to it. The man had a kind of mystery about him too: you had been able to pride yourself in being able to read people, and it had saved your life on more than one occasion. But with him, there was something that you couldn’t place. 

“Do they know eachother?” You asked Jeongin. 

“Not that I know of. School friend maybe? Seems like all the royals send their kids to the same schools.”

“Hm. That would make sense.” 

“Enjoying yourself?” Chan said. 

Lee Minho nodded, and rose his glass to clink it with the prince’s. 

“Do we think that he’s our...suspect?” 

The stranger dipped his head into his hand as he listened to Chan speak. A flirty gesture that you had seen a hundred times or more. Still, the way that he inspected Chan, it wasn’t adoring. Or at least, you didn’t think that it was.

“No. I don’t think so.” 

“What the hell are you yapping about?” One of the other guards snapped over the line. 

“Um, classified stuff.” Jeongin quickly explained. “Above your paygrade. Don’t worry about it.” 

“Fox. Watch out for him tonight.” You snuck over to a corner of the room where you could watch the two of them more discreetly. 

“Affirmative....” Your partner paused. “Babydoll.” 

“Pffff--Babydoll??” The same guard stifled his laughter. “You call her Babydoll, Fox? Damn, you all must be closer than I thought. Didn’t know that I was missing out on some of the action--” 

“--Ever heard of a codename, Three?” 

“Babydoll’s her codename.” 

A grin crept over your lips. “Expect the unexpected.” 

You had almost gotten distracted enough to miss how Lee Minho had leaned over to whisper something into the prince’s ear. After he had done so, Chan laughed out a little, then reached his arm around the other man’s chair comfortably. 

“They’re...cozy.” You updated your partner. 

“I’m trying to cross-check where he might know him from.” 

Chan’s assistant and publicist finally slipped away with giddy little smiles. In many ways, you were jealous of them. They could leave whenever the wanted, eat what they wanted...

Jeongin scoffed. “Well, turns out...nothing. I can’t find anything.” 

“Nothing?” 

“Negative. I’m not seeing any crossover.” 

“So they really are strangers?” 

Your partner sighed. “Looks like neither of us are cashing ou--I mean--finding the suspect.” 

Under your breath, you wondered aloud, “Who are you...Lee Minho?” 

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

The night drew on longer with the rest of the formalities: the formal dinner, followed by several speeches from important people while dessert was being served. It all led up to the final act: His Royal Highness, Prince Chan’s speech. On several neat notecards marked with the crest, he held them in front of him while he ate his last bits of Mont Blanc Chocolate Pavlova. Even the name of the sweet itself sounded pretentious. Granted, it smelled delicious--as many expensive things did. 

You stifled a yawn from your little set up on the edge of the room. At least you should’ve been able to sit, but it turns out that sitting is also against the rules in this line of work. A couple other security and bodyguards had joined you at the edge: some of their heads nodded with sleep, and the others looked as if they had taken one too many energy shots. Luckily, your stamina had been well crafted. 

A fancily dressed MC made his way up to the podium and the room filled with applause after the last speaker had said all of their correct mandatory words. 

“It is my honor to introduce to the stage, our wonderful head benefactor of this organization, His Royal Highness, Prince Chan of the Crown. 

Applause tenfold of before erupted through the whole room and it wasn’t even an afterthought for the every attendee to stand up from their seats in an ovation. It was a force of habit for you, but you found yourself clapping as well. 

Chan rose with grace, and re-buttoned his jacket with finesse. A blinding spotlight found him and it made the diamonds adorning his beck wink brilliantly. Even more blinding was his pearl white, and perfectly trained smile accompanied by his wave. 

Thank you. Thank you. He mouthed. 

“It’s like he’s a frickin’ movie star.” Jeongin groaned. 

“Might as well be with the way that they treat him. You know deep down they’re all just terrified.” 

Chan made his way up to the stage in all of his regality, and the applause didn’t stop until he cleared his throat. A collective groaning of a couple hundred chairs squeaked when everyone sat back down. 

“Thank you everyone, really. I wanted to thank you all for your generous support in your donations to this organization, as well as your association with the crown. I’m sure that all the beneficiaries of your donations are beyond thankful compared to me. Without you, this would not be possible.” Chan spoke with grandiose gestures, as usual, but this time, he had found you on the side of the room. “Listen, aside from being a prince, I’m also just a person. A person who knows what it means to struggle, to--” 

“--I can’t listen to this anymore.” You whispered into the quiet room, and to your partner. 

“Just a few more hours.” He droned. “I almost wish that something would happen so that we don’t have to sit though much else of this.” 

“Be careful what you wish for.” 

In the corner of your eye, Lee Minho shifted in his seat, but still kept his undivided attention to the stage. You figured he must’ve been just like the rest of them: enamored by the flashiness of the crown--and Chan. He had a way of putting a spell on people: it was the kind of spell that a prince of deception had crafted after years of being kept under lock and key. 

“--Anyway, what I’m trying to say, royal or fanciful we all might be, in the simplest way, we’re all just people, therefore this is what connects us all. Thank you.” 

Chan was gifted yet another standing ovation that was somehow even more thunderous than before. 

“Yeah right.” You scoffed. “People born into money. There’s a difference.” 

Chan gave his last waves, then a clamor echoed from the back of the room. At first, it had just sounded like the same raucous laughter you had heard all night, but then it shifted to something different. The sound of laugher turned into shouting, then screams: high pitched and piercing. You had seconds to respond, head whipping around the room to catch sight of the confused prince. In your in-ears, the the sound of gunshots echoed with rapid-fire speed. Machine guns. Shouting commands barked in your ear, and muddled with Jeongin’s string of demands and questions. 

“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON OUT THERE? REPORT! REPORT!” 

Your heart instantly started beating into hyperdrive, and your legs sprinted as fast has physically possible 

“THEY’VE GOT GUNS!” A shrill and cracked voice of an older woman wailed from the back of the room. 

Immediately after she had said so, shots fired into the darkened room with sparks, and the metallic sound of bullets hitting the marbled ground followed. 

Chan looked around in his panic for you, petrified on the stage. You slung your gun out from your thigh holster and latched onto him with all of your might. 

“TH-THEY JUST CAME OUT OF NOWHERE IN THESE VANS. THEY’RE ARMOURED, WE CAN’T--” 

“Get the fuck down there and secure the exists!” Jeongin growled into his mic. “B--is the prince secure??” 

“Secure!” You yelled back. Using your body as a barrier, you led the cowering prince through the mass hysteria of the crowd. 

“Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Shit.” Chan shook under your iron grip. 

More shots fired into the room and bodies parted like the sea and fell over each other. 

From the balcony, you had caught Jeongin aiming his own gun at the chaos below. 

“I’ll cover you! Fuck! There’s so many of them! Get him to the car out back--Three, Six, meet B out there! Three!? Six!? Report!” 

“Three and Six are down F!” One of the guards panted. “I can provide cover out back!!” 

“Who’s speaking??” Jeongin bellowed, then aimed from above at one of the intruders. Your only focus was on weaving you and Chan out of there, but you had seen one of them in a blur. Each of the men with guns wore dark grey suits with black ties and leather gloves. Each of them wore their own crest: and it was all red. 

“Bee?? Bee???” Chan shouted out for you, and jumped every time the crack of a shot echoed in the ballroom. 

“I’ve got you, your Highness. We’ll be out soon. Keep your head down and listen to me.” Your arm held to him tightly, and you soon found the exit nearest. There was no telling if there would be more of them outside, but you loaded your gun quickly just in case, and pointed it out. 

“Jeongin, get your ass down here!” 

“Jeongin? Who the fuck is that??” Chan ducked down to hide himself behind your frame. 

His name had slipped on your tongue, but that hardly mattered. 

“I’ll be down in a second!!!” 

“Don’t fucking waste time up there when I need you down here!!” 

“Two! Two Reporting!!” A man suddenly yelled in your in-ear. “I’ve made it out back and I’ve secured the exit. The car is safe!!” 

“FOX! Now!” 

Your partner heaved, “I’m coming, I’m coming!!” 

You kicked open the exit door, gun’s still blazing, however one one else could be found on the other side. 

“Thank God,” You sighed. 

“Oh shit, I’m gonna be sick.” Chan had turned paler than white, then stumbled in your arms. 

“Hey, HEY!” You held him upright. “It’s gonna be alright. I’ve got you. You’re safe. You need to trust me. Your life is in my hands and I’m not giving it up easy, got it?” 

“O-okay.” He stammered, then attempted to straighten himself. 

“The Prince is outside, repeat, The Prince is outside. Two, are you in position?” 

“Yes. Yes, I am.” 

Other than the fact that you had just escaped absolute peril, the evening was unbearably pleasant. Crickets chirped in the summer evening, and the humidity of the night smelled gorgeously of the lake that was near-by as well as the vast array of flowers that had been purposefully landscaped around the hotel. Chan’s uneven steps scraped at the gravel walkway. 

Since you had canvassed the whole building well, you had known exactly where the getaway car was, but you were still careful. 

“Bee. Bee!” Chan blabbered. “Have-have I told you yet that I-I’m in love with you?” 

“No, you haven’t Your Highness.” 

“I fucking am. If I die tonight, I want you to know that I am ridiculously in love with you, and fuck, I wanna--” 

“--I’m sorry, Your Highness, respectfully, but now is not the time for this and you are not dying on my watch.” 

Somewhere off in the distance, frogs croaked, and the splashing of fish in the lake plopped at the surface waters. You turned a corner to finally see Two waiting his his gun raised. He was a bit of a shorter and scrawnier man, but something about him told you that where he lacked in strength, he must’ve made up for in agility. 

“I’m out! I’m out!” Your partner gasped, and over the in-ear you could hear his running footsteps. “I’m almost there! I’ll be there in a second!” 

“Your Highness,” Two bowed and opened the car door. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. You can call me Two or J. Either you prefer.” 

Jeongin came bounding around the corner with heaving breaths and his clothes askew. His glasses which just barely held onto his face had a crack on them and his knuckles were covered in blood. 

“Let’s go.” The younger man prompted. 

“In the car you go, Your Highness.” You motioned for him to do so. 

Chan whimpered like a toddler. 

You shoved his body in, “Stop that. Get in the car.” 

“I’m in love with you Bee!” He yelled out, “I’M FUCKING IN LOVE WITH YOU BEE!” 

Jeongin slammed the door in his face with a bit of a chuckle. 

“He’s delirious.” 

“Mm.” your partner smiled. “Sure.” 

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

M.I.N.E

Request for my girl @therealmrsmbjordan​

Adonis Creed Imagine

Warnings: Smut, Fluff

AJC Finance is a globally known and relatively large financial firm based in LA. It’s percurred so much fame and notoriety because of its black male CEO—Adonis Johnson Creed. Adonis is one of the most highly paid CEOs in financial services, ranking at number 33 with a 27 million a year earning and an employee median pay of 136,357 a year. Of course, it wasn’t easy ending up where he is today being a black man in America but it all started when he was just 21-years-old working as a stockbroker for a company called D.H. Ross, employed under a black man named Oscar Hill. He taught Adonis everything he needed to know about money and management and that a stockbroker’s only job is to make money for himself. Soon after being hired, Adonis made a small fortune with his aggressive pitching style that brought in high commissions. Soon after, he decided to leave D.H. Ross and start his own financial company—not only because he wanted to do more for himself, but because D.H. Ross was corrupt and most of the stockbrokers there lived a lifestyle of sex and drugs. 

Adonis started his own firm at the age of 25 and it earned an exposé in Forbes. Hundreds of ambitious, young financiers of different nationalities and backgrounds flocked to Adonis’ company. Adonis became immensely successful within three years, earning him 22 million a year. In the beginning not many people knew that he was the late pro-boxer, Apollo Creed’s son. That too became a scandal of sorts because no one knew that Apollo Creed had a baby outside of his marriage with Mary-Anne who he has two older children by. Mary-Anne found Adonis after finding out his mother passed and raised him as her own who eventually became her youngest headache. Many people wondered why Adonis didn’t go the boxing route but he explains that he does it more so for his enjoyment, not to follow in his father's footsteps. Adonis was at once a rich kid and a street kid, the proud carrier of an illustrious heritage and an invisible man—a complex man who aims for what he wants. Like Mary-Anne says, Adonis retains his father's fiery personality. Short-tempered and impulsive, but good-natured with a tenacity that attracts others. He’s powerful, regal-like, yet heavy on the “don’t fuck with me.”

Adonis is very intelligent, crafty with his hands, quiet and kind, which women can appreciate. He’s so handsome that women practically throw themselves at him and would do just about anything to get an opportunity. It’s not only his brain, power, and beautiful smile, it’s what he’s blessed with between his muscular thighs that makes him more sought after than pure gold. Whether he is dressed up in his expensive tailored suits and sweaters or dressed down in his Nike activewear, women are flocking either way. Dating and getting pussy was a constant for Adonis but as he’s gotten older, he has become more particular and that’s where his wife of five years, Brittany steps in. Brittany had Adonis’ nose wide open the first time he saw her when he was moving into his new apartment complex in LA—although the first encounter wasn’t a pleasant one. Adonis has a habit of playing his music loudly while boxing on his body bag. Brittany lived above him so the music was probably vibrating her floor causing her to toss and turn in her sleep. 

Bang Bang Bang 

That was the sound of her pounding on his apartment door at 1 am. Adonis flings open his door with rage at first—ready to curse out whoever thought it was a good idea to go banging on his damn door but as soon as he saw Brittany standing there with her pretty face frowning, a white camisole with no bra, and sleep shorts that had ridden up her thick thighs with bare feet and white painted toes his expression morphed into that of complete interest. From the purple satin bonnet on her head down to her toes, Adonis was openly checking her out. Ironically, G-Unit-Wanna get to know you was playing in the background from Adonis’ apartment. 

I want to get to know you

I really want to fuck you, baby

I'm lost in your lovin'

I'm simply going to drive you , crazy

I want to be your lover

I want to get to know you, baby

I'm lost in your lovin'

I'm simply going to drive you , crazy…

Adonis licked his lips and said, “What’s up?”

What’s up?

That’s what she said before she pointed into his apartment. 

What’s up is that loud ass music and this banging noise coming through my floor. I’m trying to sleep and this has been an every night thing with you since you moved in a week ago. I’ve endured it enough.

“My name is Adonis, what’s your name?” 

Everything she said completely went over his head. She blinked at him like he lost his damn mind and folded her arms across her chest. Adonis found himself following the path her arms took before they slowly ascended to meet her brown eyes that were smoldering at the moment. He was enjoying the heat she was giving off. 

Did you even pay attention to a word I said? 

“Not gonna lie, nah, I wasn’t. Forgive me for being distracted by your attire, beautiful.” 

His words seemed to throw her off and from the way Brittany  raised a single brow while really looking at Adonis for the first time, she seemed to like what she saw too. 

“Still ain’t give me that name I asked about,” Adonis walked past his door and stood in front of Brittany. She quickly admired the way his pectorals and eight pack abs popped out of his white beater before bringing her eyes to his again. 

B

“B. is that short for something?” Adonis asked before cracking a smile.

Are you going to turn your music down and stop banging your fists against the wall?

“If I tell you yes, will you tell me your name?” 

She contemplated his words before unfolding her arms, giving into his proposition. 

Yes.

“Then I’ll turn my music down, and I’ll stop using that,” Adonis steps aside and shows Brittany his body bag hanging in his wide open living room. 

Okay… I’m Brittany. 

“Are you always this mean and mouthy when you meet people for the first time, Brittany?”

That frown was back. 

“You could have asked nicely at first but instead you come banging on my door like the police.” 

Rightfully so since you’re so goddamn inconsiderate of everyone living here with your loud ass music and punching. You keep me up in the middle of the night, I bang your door. Fair trade. Goodnight.

“Wait,” Adonis was catching up to Brittany while she was just about to climb the stairs back to her place, “listen, I’m sorry that I kept you up all these nights, it won’t happen again, I promise...can I take you out to dinner to make up for all those nights?”

No, but thanks though.

Adonis didn’t like being rejected but he respectfully let her go even though in the back of his mind he planned on trying again. A few weeks had past and she shot down his advances from that time five years ago. It took for one night when Adonis spotted Brittany coming home from a night out, dressed in a sexy black slip with black heels and her hair styled in six stitch braids with a full face of soft glam makeup. She smiled at him and they talked for a bit. Adonis asked her out to dinner again and Brittany accepted. Time generously passed and rings were secured, Brittany becoming Mrs. Creed. She was there while his company became what it is today. It’s almost their fifth year anniversary and Adonis comes up with the idea of the ultimate Asia excursion. The focal point of the trip is Phuket but he wanted to visit Hong Kong, Tokyo, Bali, and Singapore. If only he could sneak away from work sooner so they could leave in his private jet. Brittany is excited and already packed for the getaway. Adonis has a few things packed but not much since work was always knocking on his door. 

____________________________________

Brittany Creed was awakened from her slumber around 7:45 am with soft, tender kisses against her cheek. The kisses were so gentle and loving that it made her shiver with anticipation for more. A strong arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer—notes of pineapple, black currant, birch, amber and musk filled her nostrils. Sexy and seductive, strong and powerful—that scent has her opening her eyes to the sight of her husband smiling down at her. Brittany licks her lips to speak but her husband's pillow soft lips crashed into hers while he pulled her closer. Brittany wrapped a single arm around Adonis’ well-built shoulders and pulled him down on top of her to increase the intensity of the kiss. 

He slowly drew his lips back to admire her wearing one of his pinstripe dress shirts on for a night gown and her silk bonnet on her head. The top few buttons of the shirt were undone and revealing smooth brown skin for him to kiss. With his lips trailing down the center of her chest, Brittany could feel him growing ridged against her inner thigh. It was so solid. His fingertips played with the opening of his dress shirt on her, the fabric brushing against her hard nipples. With a bite of her pouty bottom lip, all she could think about right now was her man undressing her further and sucking on her nipples. With the way he was pulsating against her leg he could use a release. 

“Goodmorning, Hubby.” 

Adonis looks up at her through his curled lashes, “Morning Wifey.” 

“Don’t you have to get ready for work? Hmm?” She says with a single raised brow, “I feel your dick brushing against my thigh…”

“You know how hard I get in the morning...when I roll over and see you laying next to me my shit just thickens…”

Brittany gives Adonis a few more kisses before sitting up in bed, “I know, I’ve spent plenty of mornings between your legs with it in my mouth...remember?”

“I could use a reminder, baby,” his seductive voice was almost convincing.

Right when he was about to show her just how hard he is his work cell started ringing. Adonis exhales, his forehead pressed against hers. 

“Duty calls,” Brittany says with a slight smirk even though she truly didn’t want him to go, “You could just stay home...right? I mean, we have an entire getaway planned. I'm sure the company will understand, babe.” 

“Not with how busy my schedule is today. Let’s pick this up later, Aight?”

“I’ll just wait for you...watching the hours tick by slowly,” Brittany pouts. 

“I’ll be home before you know it.”

“You’ll be too far, leaving me all alone.”

Brittany wrapped her arms around her body, the smell of his cologne still woven into the fabric of his dress shirt. It felt so smooth against her skin. Adonis sits up in bed to press the power button on his cell to mute the ringing. Standing, the view of his back all the way down to his thighs coming into view. Thank god for taking his time with him. Brittany watched Adonis walk away towards the bathroom. Stretching, Brittany stares at a chair in the room situated next to Adonis’ walk-in closet. A tailored suit for him to put on for work is already laid out. It’s a slim fit double breasted black suit with gold cufflinks, a white dress shirt and a white and black tie with a bandana pattern. His Christian Louboutin black dress shoes are neatly placed on the floor beneath the chair. 

Getting out of bed, Brittany walks to their master bathroom. Pushing open the door further, steam wafting out of the door and the long, rectangular mirror above their double sink foggy, Brittany enters the bathroom. The sensual sight before her eyes has her feet planted firmly against the tile flooring and her heart racing. She didn’t know what left her breasts heaving in anticipation—is it the water cascading down his sinewy frame like a stream over rocks? Is it his firm yet strapping back that tapers down to his muscular ass? Or is it the way his v-cut glistened from the water all the way down to his burgeoning erection swinging between his thighs? 

Brittany steps closer to the glass and knocks. He was in the middle of rinsing his face off when he heard her. Turning, head beneath the shower water, Donnie smiled at her. Brittany returned the smile with a bite of her lip. She went to use the toilet, allowing Donnie to finish up. After using the bathroom, Brittany washed her hands before brushing her teeth and cleansing her face. Just when she finished, Adonis exited the shower with his towel in hand. Brittany leaned her butt against the sink and watched her husband towel dry. He started with his neck, then went to his back, chest, abs, and now he was working that towel from his muscular ass around to his dick. 

“I know that face,” Adonis says, “I’m sorry I didn’t wait for you so you can join me, baby.” 

“It’s okay,” Brittany slowly walks up to Adonis, her hands stroking his warm chest before reaching up to wrap her arms around his shoulders. Brittany leaned in for a kiss—a slow, kiss with lots of tongue and lip sucking. Both of Adonis’ hands came up to hold her face, his towel falling to the bathroom floor. She could spend hours kissing his thick lips. Adonis pulled away, gazing at Brittany’s drunken face with a half dimpled smirk. 

“You’re not gonna let me leave this bathroom, are you, B?”

“Not looking like this,” Brittany’s hands smoothed down Donnie’s hard abs, “Baby...do you really have to go into work today? I mean...really? You’re the CEO. Can’t you just...call in and...we can make that trip sooner than later?”

“Baby,” Adonis kisses Brittany’s forehead, “Today requires me to attend meetings and I need to have that done before I am gone an entire two weeks. You know how it is, girl, I promise, I’ll be home at a decent time and we can leave, Aight?”

Brittany rested her forehead against his chest before breathing in his scent, “Kay…”

“I love you, don’t act like that. Smile...for me?”

His soothing voice vibrated his chest and it caused Brittany to shiver with need. Pulling away, she walked out of the bathroom, Adonis following behind her. Laid back against the bed, Brittany watched Adonis apply lotion to his body before getting dressed. She will never get over how good this man looks in a suit. Good enough that she didn’t want any other bitch to witness it for themselves. Adonis sprays himself down with his favorite cologne and applies his Rolex to his wrist. 

“You’re looking sexy,” Brittany says, “Don’t make me show up to work, Adonis...put those secretaries of yours in check.” 

Adonis chuckles handsomely, “Who do I belong to?”

“Me.” 

“Exactly,” Adonis fumbled with his tie, “I don’t pay that shit any mind. I’m yours, and you’re mine.” 

“I know they look...wish they could have what I’m having every night...” 

“Hmm...that’s true. I can’t control their eyes, baby girl.”

Adonis groans. 

“This damn tie, I can never get it—“

“I got you Hubby,” Brittany lifts from the bed and walks to get to Adonis. She grabs up his tie, pulling him closer, his body pressed against hers. 

“The things I could be doing to you right now…” Brittany whispers before tightening his tie. 

“Keep that same energy when I get back.” 

Adonis steps away to admire himself in the mirror. Grabbing his work satchel, phones, wallet, and keys, Adonis is ready to head out for work. Brittany leads the way out of their master bedroom and down the stairs to their luxury penthouse before entering the kitchen. Adonis was just going to grab a bagel with cream cheese to settle his hunger but Brittany is making black coffee with brown sugar and she’s in the fridge pulling out a carton of eggs, heavy cream, waffle mix, and some left over berries. 

“Sit, I’ll whip you up some breakfast before you leave.” 

Adonis takes a seat at their kitchen island, removing his suit jacket and rolling up his sleeves. 

“I have an entire Asian excursion planned for us. I know how much you’ve been wanting to go to that rooftop infinity pool in Singapore.” 

Brittany turned towards Adonis giving him a radiant smile with white teeth and twinkling eyes that had him grinning in return.

“All of this for me? Now I really have to make sure I packed everything I need. I have to wait at home for this?!! Babe,” Brittany pouts. 

“We’re leaving tonight. I have the jet set up for us too. Just the two of us, baby.” 

Brittany went to work making the eggs. She did enough for the both of them and added a little cheese since that was Adonis’ favorite. With that set to the side she checked on the waffles. Belgium waffles with powdered sugar, berries, and maple syrup. Usually, she would do red velvet since Adonis loves red velvet but that would take much longer. Adonis sipped on his coffee and watched Brittany plate the food. His eyes wandered down to her bare feet with toes painted white. She always looked good enough to fuck in the morning. His hips thrust a little in his seat because he could feel himself growing yet again with just a simple sweep of his eyes over her frame. 

“Eat up,” Brittany says while sitting Adonis’ plate in front of him with warm maple syrup in a glass gravy boat with a glass ladle. She sat next to him and tucked into her food as well. They both have the perfect view of LA from their kitchen since the penthouse is so wide open with ceiling to floor windows. 

“Even eating your food has my dick hard,” Adonis bites a piece of waffle off of his fork while staring at Brittany with lust filled eyes. 

Brittany licks maple syrup from her lips before leaning over the kitchen island, her hand resting in Adonis’ lap. She smoothed her hand up his thigh before cuffing his crotch with her delicate hand. She did all of this while watching his expressions. His dark brown eyes smoldering, jaw clenching, and breathing uneven. 

“Damn, baby,” Brittany gripped his length, “You’re nice and fat down there…”

“Brittany,” Adonis chewed on his waffle and swallowed with difficulty each time she palmed his erection. He closed his eyes and widened his legs so she could feel him up more. If only she could feel how tight his balls are.

“This all for me?” She toyed. Adonis has a hard gaze set on her.

“You thought I was gonna let you leave without a little taste?” She says. 

Brittany was up and off of her stool. She squeezes between Adonis and the kitchen island before sensually lifting the bottom of his dress shirt up her waist to reveal her pussy. Bringing one leg up to rest on his sturdy thigh, Brittany parts her pussy lips to show him exactly how wet and creamy she is. Adonis licked his bottom lip slow while his eyes didn’t flicker away from her pussy. 

“Damn...pussy wet as fuck, Brittany,” Adonis’ dick jumped the minute he went to stroke her pussy lips, “fuck, girl...pussy fat too.”

“Yes—

“You said you want a taste? Come taste this…”

Adonis went to work unfastening his pants. Brittany brings her leg down and she was on her knees looking up at him wrapping his thick fingers around his shaft before whipping it out. He was crazy hard. Veins like a work of art all thick along his length. His tip was nice and fat and his slit was leaking pre-cum. With his pants down further, his balls filled with all that cum sat round and heavy. Smooth, brown, tasty, wide, and long. So many other ways to describe his beautiful dick—that work of art. She’s been on that dick in plenty of positions and still to this day staring at it amazed her. After all, he did teach her how to take it. Yes, it was Adonis who taught her everything he knows. He taught her exactly how he likes to be pleased. Her shy, quiet energy was taken as innocence...but she’s not really innocent. Now, she was about to suck his dick just how he loved it sucked. 

“You know what to do, baby, take care of this dick.”

Brittany grabs him up, lining her lips up with the tip of his dick. She began placing kisses all over the tip of his dick, that pre-cum coating her lips like gloss. Adonis bites down hard on his bottom lip turning it bloodshot almost. Brittany trailed those dangerous kisses down to the base of his dick and over his balls. She repeated this until Adonis was a groaning mess with his hand snatching her bonnet off to grip her hair. Now, Brittany was adding tongue. Adonis couldn’t take sitting any longer so he stood up and planted his hands on the surface of the kitchen island. 

“Britt...move your hands...good girl...now, suck on just the tip baby…”

Brittany rested her hands in her lap and went to work using just the power of her jaws to suck the tip of his dick. Her mouth drooled and her spit dribbled down the center of her chest. She closed her eyes and relished in the feeling of his wide tip in her mouth. 

“Mmm,” she moaned. 

“Oh my fucking God...shit...nasty girl sucking on my tip like that…”

“Mhm,” she replied with his tip still in her mouth and her head bobbing up and down slowly. 

“You tryna make me cum like this? You know that’s daddy’s spot, right?”

She replied with her lips going lower around him and her hand juggling his balls. Adonis threw his head back and hissed. Brittany truly didn’t want him to go. His dick was so warm and fat in her mouth. She slurped him up fully now and his groans and moans had her bringing one hand down between her legs to rub her clit. 

“That’s it, baby, rub on that pussy with my dick in your mouth.” 

She rubbed on her clit, smoothing her hands down to gather her wetness from time to time while working her mouth on her husband’s fat dick. Adonis starts moving his hips to feed her some more dick, his dress shirt resting under his chin. 

“Let me see your fingers, baby.” 

Brittany shows Adonis her fingers. A creamy ass mess. 

“Shit...that pussy is weeping. You want this fat dick, baby?”

Brittany nods her head.

“Keep going...ima cum all down your Goddamn throat, girl.” 

Brittany was fingering herself now and with her other hand she strokes his balls while sucking Adonis as best as she could now. That dick was beyond fat in her mouth and every time it reached the back of her throat she gagged. The entire front of that dress shirt she wore was soaked. 

“I hear that creamy pussy…” Adonis’ eyes were low, “Fuck...I’m about to bust...damn, baby...fuck!!!!!”

Adonis gripped the kitchen island edge tightly and with a forward thrust of his hips, he emptied his heavy balls of all his cum down her throat. Brittany’s legs shook and she couldn’t keep her lips around him any longer. Popping her lips off, the remainder of Adonis’ cum landed on her chest as she moaned out. She jerked his dick as her entire body spasmed with her orgasm. She let go of his dick and pulled her fingers out with a whimper. She was even more of a mess now. 

“That’s a lot of cum, almost as much as me.”

They both stare at the mess they made before locking eyes. 

“Clean my cum off your chest and suck it off your fingers.” Adonis commanded. 

Brittany swiped his cum off of her and licked and sucked it clean before leaning forward to do the same to his dick. 

“Let me taste that pussy.”

Brittany was on her feet, fingers coming up to Adonis’ mouth. He gripped her wrist tightly before his long, thick, pink tongue damn near slithered out to clean her off. Her blood seemed to rush to her core again and the feeling of the pressure from his sucking had her weak in the knees. 

“Pussy tastes good each and every time, baby,” Adonis leans forward to give her a sloppy French kiss, “Now I’m gonna be at work all day thinking about how wet that pussy is...keep it wet until I get home, okay?” Adonis strokes her chin, “Play in that pussy as much as you like so I can come home and find the biggest fucking mess for daddy to play all in...okay?”

“Yes, daddy,” Brittany was damn near hypnotized by this man's tongue. 

_____________________________________________________

“Glad that shit is over.”

Adonis had just finished up his last meeting about expanding AJC Finance. He plans on opening up a corporate office in South Korea soon. On his trail is one of his secretaries, Kimberly Jussel. She’s from Birmingham UK. A black woman with skin that reminded you of burlywood and raven hair that she always wore in a classy French braid with wand curls framing her face. She wears black cat eye frames and fitted pencil skirts with silk blouses and So Kate pumps on her feet. 

“Absolutely, Sir,” Kimberly replies, “Can I get you anything? Coffee? Tea?”

“I’ll take some of that tea that you make, it’s really good.”

“With cream and sugar?” 

Adonis looked over his shoulder at Kimberly with a dimpled smile and unwavering eyes, “Exactly like that.” 

Adonis enters his grand office, taking a seat. Kimberly places some important files on his desk, her eyes admiring Adonis discreetly while he takes off his suit jacket. She tugged on her full bottom lip with her teeth before tearing her eyes away just when he looked towards her direction. 

“That tea, Kim?” Adonis says jokingly with a half smirk while unbuttoning his suit jacket with one hand, finger rings gleaming. 

“Right on it, Sir.”

Kimberly turns to exit just when another secretary of Adonis’ enters. Her name is Morgan. Tall, sienna skin, short curly fro and a sexy suit on like she always wears with her dress shirt unbuttoned a little to show off her slender yet smooth neck. Kimberly and Morgan locked eyes before sharing fake smiles. It was like a competition in that office for Adonis’ attention. 

“What’s up, Morgan?” Adonis asks before taking his seat.

“It’s your wife, Mr. Creed. She says it’s an emergency.”

“Shit,” Adonis notices his company phone blinking with a transferred call, “Thanks Morgan.”

“No problem,” She says with a sultry voice before strutting away, closing his double glass doors to give him privacy. Adonis presses a few buttons on his desk to tint the glass of his office. Picking up the phone, Adonis speaks.

“Babe, everything cool?”

“No,” Brittany exhales, “Donnie...I need you to come home.”

“Baby...what’s the matter?” Adonis says with a concerned expression. 

“I’m not feeling too well...I don’t know what it is,” She exhaled, “Please come home…”

Adonis closes his eyes, “Alright, alright...I’ll cancel a conference call that I have to do and let Kellon take it. I’ll handle the rest when I get back from the trip. Did you need me to bring anything while I’m on my way?”

“Those Lindor chocolates I like.”

Adonis smiles, “Sure, baby, I’ll bring you a bag...anything else?”

“Just your presence, Mr. Creed.”

“Okay, Mrs. Creed...I’ll be on my way.” 

The call ended and Adonis was up and out of his office chair, gathering his things before leaving his office. His close friend and CFO, Kellon Jordan will be in charge for the two weeks he’s gone—of course, Adonis will be called in case anything goes bad. Exiting his office, Kimberly was approaching with his tea and a megawatt smile. 

“Oh! Leaving?” Her smile turned to that of disappointment. 

“Yes, my wife needs me at home so I gotta go to her.”

Kimberly bats her lashes and smiles, “That's so sweet...should I inform Mr. Jordan?”

“He already knows I’m leaving for my trip so there is no need for all of that. Just let him know about taking over the conference call. He knows what to say. I’ll see you when I get back Kim, alright? Take care of yourself girl.

With that, Adonis leaves Kimberly behind with his scent lingering and her body shivering. 

Adonis exited the company parking garage and drove to a nearby CVS to grab the chocolate. With that, Adonis is driving home, thankful to beat traffic since it was only 2:45 in the afternoon. Parking his car in the penthouse garage, Adonis leaves his suit jacket in the car and takes everything else with him. He walks through the lobby of the penthouse building, heading straight for the elevators to the top floor. What could it be? She used to suffer from acid reflux and it would make her sick. Off of the elevator and at his door, Adonis unlocks it swiftly, opening the door and strolling inside. 

“Britt?”

It’s silent. 

Adonis drops the chocolate off in the kitchen and climbs the stairs to his penthouse. The bedroom doors are closed. Adonis pauses ate the doors, his hands on both knobs. Exhaling, Adonis opens the doors to find his wife—

“Emergency, huh?” 

He couldn’t fight the sly smirk that spread across his face. Brittany is completely naked and laid out like Rose on Titanic. Beautiful toasty brown skin all smooth, brown eyes low and lips glossy. Adonis drops his work satchel on the floor, walking towards Brittany while loosening his tie. 

“Hey, baby…” Brittany blushes.

“I thought you weren’t feeling well?”

“I’m not well,” Brittany circled her right nipple with her finger, “I’m sick…”

“You look well to me, B,” Adonis kicks off his shoes.

“In order for me to get better...I need you to be here...to take care of me…”

The minute Adonis left, Brittany was in a sour mood. She cleaned up a bit, took a shower, rubbed down with some body butter and laid in bed with a new shirt of his on. She has a habit of going into his walk-in closet, trying on his suit jackets and jewelry. She sprayed his cologne on her pillow so she could breathe in his scent. Yes, Brittany did play in her pussy. Her clit plumped up real quick with his smell woven into the fabric of the pillow and the thought of his dick filling her up. She looked down at her pussy with her legs pulled back and whimpered. He said to play in it as much as she wanted to for him to practically swim in. Brittany did it three times. Twice in that bed and once on the sofa after lunch. She was aching for her man and that’s what led her to call his job and get him to come home. 

“I got it nice and wet for you, daddy…”

Brittany opened her legs to show Adonis just what she meant by wet. More like her pussy was drowning. Adonis’ lips parted and his eyes grew all dark and clouded with lust. 

“I think it’s time for you to come get this pussy and make me feel better.” 

Adonis chuckles, his fingers undoing the buttons on his dress shirt before he was doing the same thing to his dress pants. Adonis then removes his socks and briefs, walking over to Brittany in complete nudity. He kneeled between her legs before grabbing her ankles and pulling her towards him so that she’s laying flat on her back. Adonis lowers himself between her legs on his belly, his strong, biceps curling around her thighs to keep them open and in his complete control. Her pussy was right in his face. He locked eyes with her while parting his lips to spit on her pussy—his saliva dripping slowly. Using his tongue, Adonis covered her pussy lips with his saliva before using his tongue to slip between her lips. 

Up, down, up, down, he went. Brittany concentrated hard on the movement of his tongue. She bites her lip when Adonis damn near stuffed his whole face in her pussy, moving his head from side to side and in a circle. Her head went back and she moaned. With his fingers, Adonis spreads her lips and from there kisses trailed all over her. She shuddered each time his lips graced her clit. When he began to eat her, Brittany’s hand found its way on the back of his head. He was sucking, licking, and kissing her pussy with his eyes on her—just studying her. He would say how beautiful and tasty her pussy is to ruin her some more. 

“Fuck, Adonis,” She moaned, “You’re gonna make me cum for the fourth time today…”

“You deserve it,” He whispered before sucking her clit, “Ima make you cum as many fucking times I want to on that trip…”

“Yes,” Her lips parted but she couldn’t find the words. 

“Cum in my mouth, baby...daddy wants to make you feel better—“

“FUCK,” Brittany’s head fell back against the pillows, “fuck, fuck, fuck, I’m cumming—“

Adonis squeezed the hell out of her thighs the more he devoured her pussy and on command she was cumming in his mouth—loud gasps of pleasure filling the room. 

“You said it was an emergency...this is an emergency,” Adonis was up on his knees between her legs with his fingers in her pussy, “Whatever you need, I gotchu baby…”

“Mmm,” Brittany spreads her legs wider, “I’m a little better…”

“But not completely,” Adonis grabs for his fat dick, stroking his length slowly, “I know what you need.” 

“What do I need, daddy?”

Adonis looked from his dick and up into her eyes, “This fat dick.”

“Yes...yess...that dick will have me better in no time.”

“Make you cum to get you well?” Adonis positions himself between her legs before pushing his length inside slowly. He released a shuddering breath before smirking at her with a single deep dimple. She closed her eyes to fight the build up of liquid behind her lids. Adonis takes his thumb to trace her bottom lip before Brittany wrapped her lips around it. His hips moved with skill while he held all his body weight up on one arm. All she could see was his cut muscles flexing with each thrust. 

“That’s right baby...put them legs up so I can get in there deeper...make my baby feel better, yeah?”

“Unh,” She moaned in response. 

“Pussy wet…” he hisses, “Pussy is fucking wet.”

“So wet for you,” She whimpers.

His hips began snapping into hers, their sweaty skin connecting like adhesive. She felt her entire pussy tingle like an orgasm was brewing. He fucked her so good that she could feel every inch and width of that dick pushing inside of her. With how soaked she is it helped. They both watched with awe stricken expressions at how beautiful his dick looked covered in her creamy mess. Adonis would go purposely slow just so she can catch the moment and savor it. Now, he was staring at her intently with his dick beating her walls up and causing her titties to bounce. 

“I’m gonna cum,” She whispered. She couldn’t really find her voice because Adonis was fucking it out of her. 

“Daddy making that pussy cum? You gonna make daddy’s dick cum with that pussy? I feel that pussy yanking on me…”

“Cum inside of me…”

He was going to anyway. Adonis pushed her thighs back some more and used her for balance while he fucked her deep. Brittany was in pure bliss and shock. All she could do was moan and ask for him to keep fucking her with that good dick. His balls slapped her ass and she could feel them getting tighter and tighter. 

“I’m gonna bust in that pussy...give that pussy what she needs—“

“Yeah, give me that nut—“

“AHHH FUCK—“

Adonis picked up the pace and the more he hit the bottom of her pussy the harder he came. He stuffed his dick in as deep as it could go before pulling out slowly. A single slimy string of cum was left behind and it was a reminder of how good her pussy is and how much she drained him. Adonis laid on top of her, his pillow soft lips kissing all over her face before finding her lips. He gripped her chin to keep her still while controlling the searing kiss. He was still nice and stiff and she could definitely go for round two. 

___________________________________________________

The Boeing 747-8 VIP is the longest and second largest airliner ever built. The starting price of this jewel is at $367 million, and that is before all the luxury amendments are designed into the jumbo jet. This is the jet that Brittany and Adonis take to Phuket—a rainforested, mountainous island in the Andaman Sea. It has some of Thailand’s most popular beaches, mainly situated along the clear waters of the western shore. The island is home to many high-end seaside resorts, spas and restaurants. Phuket City, the capital, has old shophouses and busy markets. They are both staying at the Vijitt Resort Phuket—a tranquil beachfront escape on the tropical island of Phuket with Thai culture and charm where privacy, nature, and local hospitality take center stage. It’s wide open spaces, tall swaying palms and lush green lawns gently slope towards the Andaman Sea. The unforgettable view from this 5 star villa resort Phuket overlooks a myriad of offshore islands from the calm and tranquil tidal beach at Chalong Bay.

Brittany’s boho box braids are in a bun and she’s wearing a white wrap top with a tropical mini skirt that has a high split and some strappy green heels. Her chocolate brown eyes are covered with rimless square frame sunglasses that are a brown color and she’s carrying her green birkin bag. Adonis is wearing a pair of charcoal grey joggers, Nike track shoes, a black muscle tee and black aviator shades. A private car awaited them and now they are pulling up to the resort. Valet handled the designer suitcases for them while Adonis and Brittany checked in. Brittany couldn’t wait to experience the beaches, food, and overall views during their trip. Adonis wanted to experience the overall culture, anime, and take an ATV tour. They planned on staying in Phuket for a few days before heading to Tokyo, Shanghai, Bangkok, and Bali to name a few. 

With their room keys, Adonis couldn’t wait for Brittany to see the Vijitt Pool Villa. The one bedroom Vijitt Pool Villa offers supreme privacy and outstanding uninterrupted views of the Andaman Sea. Their bags are already waiting for them. When they arrived Brittany was blown away by the exceptional views. It was the ultimate romantic getaway. Brittany couldn’t wait to relax in the private garden and splash around in the 11 metre-long infinity-edge pool that appears to blend into the sea and after dark take a romantic dip in the outdoor Jacuzzi. There is one king-sized bedroom, a separate opulent living room and a heavenly bathroom with its own tropical garden, luxury bathtub and rain shower. Adonis watched her move around the villa, taking it all in. He has a special dinner with fireworks planned for her on the beach tomorrow night. 

“I wish we could just live here,” Brittany says while standing on the patio watching the sea, “It’s so beautiful…”

Adonis joins her, “I’m just happy you love it...we have a lot more to look forward to as well. Come here…”

Adonis pulls Brittany in to wrap his arms around her. He nestled his face in the crook of her neck and kissed her slowly and softly. 

“What do you wanna do right now?” 

Brittany couldn’t seem to narrow it down to one thing. Walk the beach? Take a dip in the pool? 

“How about we think it over while drinking some champagne?”

“Sounds good to me,” Brittany says, taking Adonis’ hand and entering the villa. Both of them take a seat on their bed while sharing champagne. Neither of them felt like unpacking at the moment so they planned on doing that before taking a nice bubble bath. Tomorrow Adonis will take her on a yacht tour and afterwards they will ride ATV’s then have a fancy dinner on the beach. 

“Can you understand Thai?” Brittany asks.

“A little. I’m still learning. I can understand Indonesian, Japanese of course, still trying to be more fluent since I’m trying to expand globally.”

“That’s so sexy to me. A fluent tongue…” Brittany licks her lips. 

“I can always teach you,” Adonis says. 

With the bottle nearly empty, Brittany and Adonis take a much needed nap. They were out for a while because it’s nearly nightfall. Brittany wakes up first to use the bathroom. After relieving herself, she starts a bubble bath for the both of them. It was a relaxing and romantic ambience with deep cleansing treatments, body scrubs, oils, and scented body soaps. Brittany added herbal oil to the bubble bath to better relax them. Afterwards, Brittany lit some candles and dimmed the lights. Undressing, Brittany enters the room to grab Adonis. She wakes him with kisses to his soft lips. 

“I have a bubble bath ready for us,” She whispered against his lips. 

“Mmm, is that right?” He replies with low eyes and that raspy voice she loves. 

“Mhm,” She tongue kissed him, “Come on before it gets cold.” 

They usually took showers together since the tub at their place was a single tub. With both of their naked bodies submerged in the soapy water, they gazed at each other’s bodies with desire. Can simple stares make a woman pregnant? Adonis calmly admired her and she looked back at him. His hands smoothed up and down her soapy legs. Brittany stared at him like someone who has seen something very interesting and lovely. She kept chewing on her bottom lip while staring at him. Eventually, Adonis moved closer to her, so that their legs almost surrounded each other’s waist and he put his arms around her, pulling her forward and into his lap. Brittany wrapped her soapy arms around his shoulders. She can feel his stiff dick against her ass beneath the soapy depths. 

“That dick feels so good,” She spoke with a hushed tone in his ear. His wet hands rubbed her hips. His dick was bobbing up and down in the water and it kept smacking her pussy and ass. Adonis spreads her ass cheeks beneath the water which causes her pussy to open and Brittany takes that opportunity to grab his dick up to rub along her clit. Each time she smacked his wide tip against her pussy the water would splash. Adonis smiles at her actions while cuffing both of her cheeks firmly. 

Adonis leaned forward to flick his tongue against her ear, “you gon’ keep slapping your clit with it or are you gonna let me put this dick in you?”

Brittany rests her wet forehead against Adonis’ shoulder before taking her teeth to nibble on his flesh. 

“I asked you a question, girl…”

“Of course you can put this dick in me,” Brittany says while stroking him beneath the water. 

“Aight, turn around.”

Brittany lifts from Adonis’ lap and turns around on her knees in the bath, her ass arched and soaking wet with soap bubbles clinging to her skin. Adonis grabs his fat dick with one hand and with the other he rubs each ass cheek in front of him. The soap mixed with oil made her skin extra shiny and slippery. Brittany rested her head on the back of the tub with her hands planted on the wet wall. He rubbed his hands in a circular motion over her ass before slapping each cheek. Brittany closed her eyes and enjoyed his heavy hands coming down on her wet skin. The sound echoed off of the walls. 

“I’ma eat it just like this.”

He couldn’t help himself. Her pussy lips were in his face and nestled between her thick thighs daring him to come and taste. Brittany spreads her thighs some more, careful not to slip. Adonis scoots closer, some of the water sloshing over the edge before leaning forward to kiss her pussy lips. He was beating his pipe at the same time. Brittany could hear the flesh of his shaft against his palm. It sounded so good. She wanted that dick up in her badly but his mouth was currently in place sucking on her clit and alternating between tongue-fucking her pussy. 

“Damn...I’ma eat this phat pussy morning day and night... slurping on this juicy phat pussy...mhmmm... mhmmm...such an amazing view baby…”

“Oh, my God, Donnie…” Brittany pushed her pussy in his face and Donnie had to grab her ass to keep her still. She rode his face from behind like she always did, popping her ass and pushing all that pussy back on him. Adonis whacked her ass each time she did that. The water was swaying in the tub from their movement. Adonis loves to get his mouth on her pussy. She was giving and he was taking her yummy phat pussy in his mouth as best as he could with lots of spit. She could hear his tongue flicking back and forth and just when he made it go flat to swipe her pussy up and down, over and over, she climaxed. Her hands struggled to grip the wall and her knees slid to opposite ends of the tub and that gave Adonis more of a reason to eat her pussy. She reached back to palm his head and guided him where she wanted. 

“Right there baby...right on that clit...mmm...suck on it baby...shit...your pussy is cumming for you...make your pussy cum...show me how much you want your pussy to cum...yesss...fuckkkk...Donnie...baby...shit.”

She couldn’t hold on any longer. Her hand left his head and now she was shaking. Adonis gave her one final kiss before lifting to his knees. Brittany looks back and sees how much he’s struggling. That dick was weeping. His pre-cum dribbled from his slit and into the water. It was stiff and pointing out towards her pussy. 

“I’m a creamy mess back there?” Brittany asks.

“Fuck yes,” Adonis takes a finger to rub it in, “It’s hella sloppy like always…”

“Put that dick in, beat my walls up,” She pressed her face against the wall and spread her cheeks for him, “see this tight pussy? Put that big dick right in here…”

“You gon’ tear this dick up? Cream all over this dick…”

“Bring me that dick—

Brittany couldn’t even finish her words when Adonis’ wide tip slipped easily past her opening followed by his girth and length. His hand came down on her ass rough followed by the second one before he squeezed her ass. With his sturdy hips, Adonis pushed his dick in and out of her pussy—not rushed, but moderately moving so that she could feel all of him. She parted her lips and exhaled longingly while struggling to thrust her hips back to meet him. It was like a battle of who’s fucking who. Each time she went back, Donnie would thrust forward deeply. His hands moved to grip her slippery waist and from there he began to increase the pace. Brittany’s wet cheeks bounced off of his hips and it stung each time from the water. 

“There you go, girl—

“Donnie, shit!!!” 

He was taking over. Their movements caused the floor to get wet. 

“This what you wanted right? Get a room and fuck all day?”

“Yes, daddy—

“You know that’s my shit too...get a hotel...check in early…and make love to this good pussy all fucking night...wake you up at 2 am with dick deep in this pussy.”

Brittany and Adonis haven’t taken a trip in a long while and this is something they used to do all the time. Check in to the most expensive hotel wherever they are, drink, eat, and fuck. Fuck in the kitchen, fuck on the balcony, fuck in the shower, and fuck from the floor to the bed. The thought of it made her cream his dick. One of Adonis’ hands came around to grip the front of Brittany’s throat so he could lean forward and whisper in her ear between strokes. 

“You look so pretty with my dick in your pussy,” He nibbled on her jaw, “tearing that pretty ass up, right?”

“Fuck—

“Keep that pussy right there baby.”

“Adonis—

“Submissive and taking this pipe good—

“It’s in my stomach…fuck my pussy daddy...I love your dick—

“Fuck this pussy? I can’t wait to cum in your pretty little pussy.”

Brittany could hardly go without making a bunch of noise and it was music to his ears. With his hand wrapped around her braids now he went faster, the water really splashing and getting everywhere. It splashed so much that it put the fire out of two of the candles. 

“Fuck—

“I feel that pussy baby,” Adonis stood still so he could feel her walls convulse around him while she came. He threw his head back and hissed before fucking her again. 

“Shove it in, babe.”

With her words Adonis went hard in her pussy, his balls heavy and tight. He was about to bust. Just a few more strokes in her good pussy and he was gonna cream pie her ass something serious. 

“Yes, daddy—

“Yes daddy what? Gonna keep taking that dick? Look back at me while I beat that pussy in and flood you with all this nut—

Everytime he fucked Brittany—his wife, from the back, he loved seeing her ass like that. Jiggling, bouncing, clapping, red from his slaps. He came so hard that he almost fell on top of her in the tub. Adonis gripped the edge of the tub to hold himself up when he emptied his load inside of her. They both couldn’t move so they stayed connected until their hearts slowed down and their breathing caught up.

_______________________________________________________

Throughout the rest of the evening, Brittany and Adonis couldn’t keep their hands, lips, and tongues off of each other. They both went to a stunning beachfront Thai restaurant after their sexy bath and afterward they walked the beach home and took a few pictures. It’s the next morning and they shared a lovely breakfast in the restaurant and bar that included mimosas and a beautiful view. Erik has a yacht rented for them to explore the Andaman sea—Princess S65 Kati. Their final destination will be Langkawi Island, a natural tropical paradise in SouthEast Asia. Brittany is sipping on wine in her little black bikini and black sheer robe, enjoying the good life while swaying her thick hips, braids blowing in the wind. A black girl in luxury. Adonis is shirtless and in a pair of turquoise and black trunks, smoking a cigar and sipping on his drink. 

Adonis watched his wife enjoy herself to the fullest with a big smile on his face. It was her laugh, her glistening skin, and her hips moving to the music in her head that has him getting up from lounging and walking up on her. He wrapped his strong arms around her, Brittany turning to face him. She pulled him close with her arms around his shoulders while he kissed her right brow all the way down to her lips. 

“Kiss me again,” He says, drunk and clingy.

Adonis has so much love for Brittany. He could fill rooms with it. Buildings. He’s surrounded by it wherever he goes, he walks through it, breathes it...it’s in his lungs, and under his tongue, and between his legs. His mouth moved passionately over hers, urging her lips apart. It was a kiss to level mountains and shake stars from the sky. It was a kiss to make angles faint and demons weep...a passionate, demanding, soul-searing kiss that nearly knocked the earth off its axis. 

“Look!” 

Brittany broke their kiss and pointed towards a beautiful island with white sand and clear water. With both of their phones out they snapped pictures. The yacht arrived at a dock on the island and Brittany and Adonis stepped off with beach towels and a basket filled with lunch for them both. After chilling on the beach Adonis wanted to go on an ATV tour before heading back to the villa to prepare for dinner that evening. They both found a spot on the sand and laid out towels. Brittany setup lunch that included Tom yum, green and papaya salad, fruit, and pomegranate juice. The beach was free of other people so Adonis plucked the strings of her bikini top, Brittany’s succulent breast displayed for him. Adonis took a few pictures of her to admire later on. Sand palm prints on her cheeks and sweaty cocoa skin. After lunch, they both took a dip in the water to cool off, splashing around and swimming. They both spent at least two hours there before heading back to the yacht to change into appropriate clothes for the ATV tour. 

Adonis was in his element when they arrived on the ATV tour. Head strap camera on, all black cargo pants, a red muscle tee, black bandanna around his mouth, and black hiking boots on his feet, Adonis climbed onto his own ATV while Brittany took off on her own. She went off before him and Adonis was taken by surprise. She’s wearing grey biker shorts with a matching sports bra, grey hiking boots, and her braids in a bun. They explored the natural wonderland of Phuket island from Bang-Tao to Patong. Of course, the ride wasn’t a clean one. Just thirty minutes in they were both covered with splashes of mud. They took the whole three hours given to enjoy themselves with breaks in between. Early day adventures finished, Adonis and Brittany took the yacht back to the villa. They showered together, unable to fight the urge to be all over each other again. . 

Adonis is strong. He lifted Brittany up against the wall and rested her legs on his shoulders while he pressed his lips into her folds. Smacking his lips, Adonis spits on her clit before making his tongue wide to flick her clit up and down. Side-to-side. Adonis moaned her name while he explored her wet pussy with his tongue and lips. He needed to enter her expeditiously. Brittany moaned despite her fear of falling but she knew Adonis had her. With his tongue in her pussy, Brittany’s walls gripped him and she creamed in his mouth. Putting her down, Adonis gripped her braids and lowered her head to show her how throbbing hard he is. He gripped his erection and showed her how much pre-cum seeped from his slit. She was on her knees speedily to lick him up. 

“Oooh,” She moaned between sucking. 

“Damn, Brittany...suck it baby...suck that dick baby…”

Looking down he could see her spit all over him and that slurping noise she was making had him pushing her head down further so he could hear her gag. Just watching her suck his dick made him want to flood her womb with his nut. He pumped harder into her mouth, an erratic movement of his hips forcing all that fat dick down her throat. 

“Look at you baby...such a beautiful Bitch taking all this dick...you gon’ take all this later right ?”

He didn’t give her room to respond. Brittany was squeezing his thighs. 

“I see you baby...I see how much you love daddy’s dick...I feel that throat opening up...mouth swallowing my shit.” 

“Mm…” Brittany hummed, the sides of her mouth stretching. 

“Shit...oh fuck...girl...goddamn baby…”

His hips jerked wildly.

“Damn baby!!! Damn!!”

Adonis could feel his glans throb in her mouth and now his balls began to empty his heavy load down her throat. She still sucked. He looked at her with a mixture of lust and bewilderment. Tugging on her hair, he made Brittany let go of his dick with her tight lips. His shit was extra sensitive and she kept playing around, licking his tip. 

“Ared stop it, girl,” He said while moving away from her hand.

“I can’t help it, it’s so tasty. I want some more of that dick…”

“Later, Aight?” Adonis turned off the shower, “You know I got something special planned for your tonight, right?”

“All for me?” Brittany bites her lip and bats her lashes at him. That shit always made him weak. 

“Uh-huh...everything for my baby.” 

They exited the shower wrapped in one towel that barely covered them. Once they got back to the villa, they planned on taking a nap so they could be energized for dinner. He has the biggest firework experience planned for her on the beach. Then he was going to finish the night out with her pussy filled with his hot quintessence. 

________________________________________________________

The setup was otherworldly. 

Adonis really pulled out all the stops. 

The romantic beach dinner was a complete surprise for Brittany. They had their very own candle-lit beach cabana where they can put their toes in the sand while staring into the twinkling lights of the Andaman sea and Patong bay. They had their very own menu that included Phuket lobster, sea bass, seafood skewers, beef tenderloin, baked garlic potatoes, a bread basket, tropical fruits, and the finest wine. Brittany wore a fitted orange maxi dress with a high slit and her braids down with gold accessories decorating the strands, and a new gold jewelry set that Adonis gifted her along with the perfume on her skin. Adonis wore a pair of light wash denim cutoffs with a short sleeve white button down shirt halfway buttoned. He has silver jewelry with white diamonds on to bring the casual look together. This was the night of her lifetime. The evening sky mixed with the sound of the waves crashing set the tone of the dinner. 

Brittany finished off the last bit of her dessert before grabbing her wine. His eyes were those of someone who’s deeply in love, someone who sees nothing but his lover, someone who has no fear of anything except losing her. The eyes of someone who believes that every dream will come true, that reality will move if you just give it a push. It was so intense that it has Brittany panting with need. The dinner was splendid. Now, she wanted him to slather her mouth with slow wet kisses and give her soaked pussy deep thrusts—plunging balls deep. He senses her need and with an outreached hand they walk away from the cabana and further out on the beach hand in hand. Adonis kisses Brittany’s hand before pulling her in close to him. They stared at the sky in comfortable silence until the first firework lit up the evening sky with blue, purple, and pink. She turned to Adonis with a tilt of her head and a wide smile. 

“A firework show?! Wow, Adonis,” She shook her head and stared up at a few comet fireworks the color of red and orange. Next, a green peony firework burst the sky and it flashed within Brittany’s brown irises. When the golden willow firework went off she gasped excitedly and Adonis couldn’t help but laugh and smile. So many pretty colors to take in. Jellyfish fireworks sprouted and at that point Brittany dug into her cream colored clutch for her phone to record. She turned the camera on Adonis and he saluted with a big smile before she focused back to the show. Crackles, strobes, and then ending in a big dahlia, the show came to an end. 

“I don’t need to ask if you enjoyed your evening,” Adonis says with a smirk. 

“This. Was. Perfect. Amazing? Romantic? I don’t even know the proper word to describe how much I appreciate everything you do for me.” 

Brittany blinked away tears and wrapped her arms around his torso. He pulled her in with his hands rubbing her exposed back up and down. 

“You mean everything to me…”

His touch was electric against her brown skin. Those eyes of his are on her. The eyes that make her weak every time he looked at her damn face. They created something special together and with the way he kissed her with all his tongue while she uttered sounds that had him on the edge had him ready to spill his cum deep inside of her. 

“...Time to go back and end this night with a bang,” Adonis palmed both her ass cheeks, “I ain’t give you the proper dick down yet and that’s what I plan on doing.” 

“Can’t wait,” Brittany whispered against his lips. 

Finished at the beach, Brittany and Adonis headed back to their private villa for some more fun. Inside, Adonis opened a fresh bottle of champagne while Brittany went to the bedroom to get prepared. She had a little something in mind herself. Opening her suitcase, Brittany pulls out a pair of sexy black panties with the sides cut out, a cheetah print top that’s see through, and some thigh high laced boots with a platform and a long heel like she was an exotic dancer. One thing for sure, Adonis loves it when she dresses up in the bedroom so he can take it all off himself. Except the shoes. He bought the sexiest shoes with the tallest heel to fuck her in. He has a fetish for legs—thick thighs and strong calves. Crawling in the center of the bed on her back with her legs spread and resting on her elbows, Brittany waited for Adonis to come back into the bedroom to find her. 

“Damn, baby, it’s like that?”

Adonis walked in with the champagne bottle in hand. 

“So...this is my surprise for the night?” Adonis sits the bottle down before going over to stand between Brittany’s legs. He lowered his head to kiss Brittany and she slipped him a bit of tongue. 

“Mmm...when did you get these boots?” Adonis asked while running his hands up and down the leather with awe. He grabs the back of her right leg bringing it up to rest on his shoulder. He rubbed his fingers across the lace up detailing while biting his lip. Not only did she look good in the boots, her pussy was sitting fat between her thighs and he could make out her areolas and nipples beyond the cheetah print top. 

“I bought them online a week before the trip...I see you love them…” her hand rubs up and down her pussy, “you did so much for me today...it’s time I give you this pussy...it’s wet as fuck too,” Brittany pulls the crotch of her panties aside. That pussy slipped out and spread open for him. Adonis licks two of his fingers and strokes her pussy lips. 

“I plan on being in this phat pussy all night girl.”

“And I want that fat dick in me all night,” Brittany reached out to hook her fingers in the front of his jeans to pull him closer. Adonis was on his knees between her legs now while Brittany stroked his thick erection. Adonis took one hand to pull her top down to expose both her breasts for him to tease. He twirled her nipples and pulled on her nipples just so he can release them and watch them bounce. 

“That pussy is insanely pretty, baby. Pussy tight and delicious…”

“Come eat this pussy.” 

Adonis didn’t need to be told twice. Brittany spread her thighs and pointed her heels towards the ceiling with her hand on the back of Adonis head. He started off by slurping with spit drooling from his tongue to get her nice and messy. Satisfied, Adonis spreads her lips, pulls the hood of her clit back, and goes to work with slow licks to her clit. That tongue moved like a wave hitting all the right spots.

“That fucking tongue don’t make no sense...fuck, daddy, that shit is so fucking good keep doing that.

Adonis made sure to move his tongue over her labia since it looked so fleshy and delicious. Not a single spot was left out from his tongue and lips. Her whole pussy was sucked up in his mouth. She watched him with low eyes and a lick of her lips. Brittany’s head went back when he alternated between flicking her clit with the tip of his tongue and sucking on it. 

“Keep them legs open...you tell daddy to eat this pussy you keep these thick ass thighs back, you understand?”

“...Gonna make me cum so good,” Brittany did as she was told. She held her thighs back for him. 

“Ima make this pussy cum all in my mouth...pussy is so wet on my tongue...tight, pink, fat pussy…”

“Unh, shit, Donnie,” Brittany’s fingers kept the hood of her clit back so Adonis could give her direct stimulation whenever he wanted. Each time he came back to her clit the urge to cum would increase. It came to a breaking point and she was a loud moaning mess in that room with her thighs trapping his head. Her cumming was a sign for him to keep going. Her hips lifted from the bed and his strong arms pushed her thighs apart with force so he could french kiss her pussy into another orgasm. She fell back with defeat. 

“My mouth is watering.” 

Adonis could feel his taste buds tingling for more. 

“The best fucking pussy in the world,” He reluctantly pulled away to stand and undress. His eyes focused on her pussy the entire time he took his clothes off. 

“Pussy so good I gotta put my dick in you now fuck all that.” 

That nice, big, long beautiful dick swung between his legs while he stood before her. That beast. Brittany turned around and put her ass in the air. Her panties are still pushed to the side. Her pussy lips were nice and creamy from the back. Adonis grabbed up his girthy shaft and started stroking with a twist of his wrist. His shit was concrete solid. Brittany slapped her pussy while looking back at him. 

“Pussy is noisy...I hear that pretty pussy...that’s daddy’s pussy…”

“That dick is thick and huge...I could cum from looking at it.” Brittany said.

Adonis was on his knees behind her, that body he worked so hard for blessing her eyes. Brittany arched her back some more and pushed her ass against him. Using one hand, Adonis laced his fingers around her panties to keep them pulled to the side while using his other hand to push his dick past her tightness. They both sighed with pleasure. He always stuffed her. The fullness tugged on her clit and made her grip him. 

“Still grip this dick with that good pussy,” Adonis moves his hips, “creamy and squeezing this dick...that’s right baby throw that ass back.” 

Adonis forcefully grabs her hips to feed her some dick while his eyes watch the way he fucks her. Her cream was making a big ass mess on the sheets. She circled her hips for him and made it jiggle. He was over her even more using the strength of his hips to stroke in her pussy.

“You fuck my pussy so good,” Brittany cried out. 

“That’s what you deserve...you know I gotta make this pussy feel good for my baby.”

Adonis went in deep and long, all the way, and they both moaned in unison. Adonis pumped his hips, pounding his meat into Brittany’s tight, velvety tunnel, her body surrendering to him like it always did. They were both bathed in sweat, burning with lust. Brittany looked back and watched as Adonis’ tongue ran over his bottom lip. She could see how much he was enjoying her wet pussy  with his deep strokes. She was feeling every inch of him thrusting into her. All of it. Even his balls slapping her engorged clit. 

“You got me cumming,” Brittany could feel herself dripping on the bed, “Damn...got my pussy leaking, daddy.” 

“Every time you cum for me, I crave you some more. This shit does my body good.”

Adonis pulled back slowly and enjoyed the sounds her pussy made and how stained she had him. He was fully out now and pulsating for more. Kissing her ass, Adonis turned Brittany over on her back and flicked tongues with her before lowering his lips to suck on her titties. She arched into his mouth when he started licking each nipple. 

“Put that dick back in me,” Brittany begged while bringing her legs up to rest on his shoulders. 

“I gotchu baby...daddy gon’ make that pussy cum again I promise,” Adonis whispered, “All you gotta do is keep these legs open so I can dig you out...hear me?”

“Yes, baby,” Brittany pilled Adonis up for another kiss. 

“And keep those pretty eyes on me…”

His hips moved like he was dancing slow motion, each time her toes would curl and her nails would drags down his back. Brittany could feel herself getting ready to cum again. She locked eyes with him, mouth falling open each time he would thrust forward hard. 

“Harder,” She encourages.

Adonis picked up the pace but kept it steady, his hips snapping into hers suddenly each time before stopping. She curled up under him, pussy unable to take the pleasure. This made Adonis pull her legs to her ears. She had no where to go now. He was going to show her how much he loved being in her pussy. 

“Oh, fuckkkk, you’re gonna make me cum,” he had his hands on the back of her thighs now, punishing her pussy. Brittany could only moan, no need for words when Adonis damn near took her breath away. There was no other feeling to compare this to. How could anything compare to the way her pussy wrapped around him? How it creamed all over him? She was at a loss. This is exactly what she would be receiving the entire trip.  

“Fuck, Donnie, Baby, I can feel you getting thicker,” her pussy was at its widest, “baby, I’m so opened up for you...baybeee, oh gosh, bayy.”

“Good fucking pussy, all mines,” Adonis buried his face in her neck, his hips snapping into her harder. She squeezed her eyes shut, mouth hanging open for the rest of the ride.

“Beating this pussy up good.” Brittany finally found the words. 

“Shit, damn...I’m about to bust...fuck...I’m cumming...Mhm...I’m cumming in this pussy deep...take this nut baby...shittttttt.”

He released in her, the tight hold pulling more cum from him. He could collapse right now. Brittany moaned out softly, as Adonis finished himself inside of her. Slipping out finally, Adonis watched her cum mixed with his drizzle onto the bed sheets. Adonis relaxed on top of her, his eyes searching hers.

“Baby that was…” He couldn’t finish his words while he stroked her sweaty face. He was still buried inside of her and it was comfortable laying beneath his solid frame. She weakly smiles up at him before pecking his lips. 

“I love you...just stay inside of me like this for a bit…”

“So I can get hard and fuck you again?” Adonis smirked. 

“I can go for some more dick.”

“That’s my kind of shit...always ready to take this dick.”

It didn’t take long because just staring at her had him stiff. Adonis was growing so thick in her pussy. His firm grip on yer thighs didn’t allow her to move. Her hips began to meet  him in a dirty dance before he grunts and moans, dick cumming and filling you up again. Brittany grabbed his chains to bring him closer to her, her lips sucking on his while he emptied his cum where it belonged. 

@tgigoldie​ @soufcakmistress​ @chefjessypooh​ @chaneajoyyy​ @pananegra​ @theblulife​ @becincere​ @blaqwidow91​ @fish-outta-watah​ @eyeknowmywrites​ @crowngold​ @njadakillthiscookie​ @blktinkerbell​ @luvanxi​ @sheisexcellent1​ @chocolatedippedinhoney​ @brandithecrystalgem​ @dababydababydababydababy​ @soulfulbeauty19​ @btitannaaa​ @sunkissedebony97​ @youngblackndgifted​ @harleycativy​ @rbhp​ @thee-germanpeach​ @thadelightfulone​ @palmstreesallday​ @skylahb​  @nizzle-mo​ @truglori​ @queenflaws​ @ljstraightnochaser​ @theegoldenchild​ @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade​ @nickidub718​ @vikkidc​ @thehomierobbstark​  @abeautifulmindexposed​ @fd-writes​ @chasingsunlight​ @sickaddiktions​ @munteanhore​ @xo-goldengirl​ @tiava143​ @33kiara​@honeytoffee​ @asiasblackworld727​ @momobaby227​ @informalmelancholy​ @soulshinechronicles @hearteyes-for-killmonger @goddessofthundathighs @soulfxll @whazzzupmyhitta @seyven89 @lahuttor @janelledarling @shewritestheblues @fanfangal @kreolemami @thoughtsoftheantagonist @luvwitoutlimit1 @mygirlrenee @hippiesandpeacesigns @alittlejd @jaysaidhi @chaneajoyyy @walkrightuptothesun @shawnstacksss @theesotericqueen @mareethequeen @browngirldominion @ceeverse @therealmrsrhodes @sensitivelegend @teheeboo @yomiloo @msreshel @bbygirrll05 @fahi0nanart @afteracouplepuffss @shaelyn102 @yaminax-kuss-a @lackbbaby @amyhennessyhouse @thattruckinwitch @dameshaemonique  @glittermakesmesmile @justgetitoverwith0  @notavintagecliche @pariahcolored @cydneyrenee4 @ajjiiaaahhhh @naeelyniecee @ambthegamer @efonteno @mikesteel20 @wisenerdcreator @draggingstxns @eevolsidog @xoxomyaah @asweet-serendipity @therealmrsmbjordan @ajspencer1892 @queengodiva619 @niqui87 @quietpoeticheart @itsjustyazz @dasia21 @woah-express @bbgiirrll @backandbetter2 @megabriahall @forbeautyandlife @queenflaws @cecereads209 @queenbetter @yomiloo @daddys-baby-girl-t @lovinthemelanin @ladymac82 @ambitionwood @t3mporaa @toniilaney @iv0rysoap @sinfully-dope @lovehatecritique @chocolategirl605 @naysianaee @nyleveeee @erlebnissebliss @melinaasap1 @woahthatshitfat @that-chick212 @scarypumkin23 @sambuckyslayallday @vikki240401 @kuaua98 @enigmadivine @gingerylimonte @counterfeit-recherche @unholyxcumbucket @xdezaraex @missgigglesmoultrie @imrootingforeveryoneblack @dashhoney25 @oversorry @abluesforlyssa @honeybeejaes @admirehermind @wassuduoo @kaykay0829 @woahitslucyylu @xsweetdellzx @amorestevens @tinystudentfirepurse @xoxomadddz @mydollasign @badgalbrix1 @suburbanblackhoe @keiosha234 @bewitchedtbaby @crestsmile83 @dollfaceddom @majesticbrownjawn @lovelymari4 @endlessmockery @meunearthed @xoxomyaah @blackpinup22 @im5ftbutmythroat66 @youthought-iwasa-nicegirl @genuinedonnie @scintal @richonne4life @alookintohersoul @19jammmy @stokeleybabymama @thenamastrae @abcdestinyyyy @whorderofthepheonix @shaekingshitup

[codename-adler]

Dear Tumblr toxicity,

Hi. Adler here. We need to talk.

- TW: mental health issues, depression, bipolar disorder, self-harm, homophobia, transphobia, coming out, xenophobia, islamophobia, racism, implied sexual content, rape, non-con, addictions, abuse, parental negligence, depictions of violence, swearing (please message me kindly if I forget anything)

- What prompted this message: The release of Skam France S7 teaser (emphasis on teaser, will get into that below)

- Where I’m coming from: I will talk from the pov of a white, cis and queer 22-years-old woman (she/her); this is the pov that affects my experiences and the opinions I will share below; but my message comes from a place of deep hurt, and love

- What this is about: My goal is to share a recurring experience that has hurt me in order to spread a message of awareness, maturity, peace and love

- Central content: Skam France, Skam Wtfock, and Skam/remakes in general

From now on I will assume people have enough information for me to talk about the topics without explaining every plotline/character. There are plenty of wiki pages to help you out and I will gladly answer any (respectful) questions asked if a plothole bothers your comprehension of my message. I’m only making these assumptions in order to alleviate the text.

January 9th, 2021.

The francetv slash YouTube channel releases an unexpected teaser video for an equally unexpected seventh season Skam France. The video features Tiffany, a white, cis female teenager, going into labour from denial pregnancy just after winning what appears to be a gymnastics championship. Overall, the video and its release are very dramatic.

The character of Tiffany, also called Tiff, was previously seen on season 6 of Skam France as a bully who persecuted the main character, Lola, both at school and on social media. Outside of this characterization, nothing is known about her. It is majorly accepted that Tiff is not a liked character; she rather poses as one of the antagonists of Lola’s arc.

Now you know the details of what happened, in the most objectively possible way. 

Now I’ll speak for myself.

Before I went digging around for people’s reaction, here is what I initially thought of this video.

1) Shock: I thought Skam France was over, so... Big, big shock.

2) Excitement: I hold this web series very close to my heart. It has gotten me through depressive episodes, anxiety attacks, coming out to my best friend. To see this new development? It couldn’t bring me more joy.

3) Curiosity: I recognized Tiff immediately. I was intrigued as to what would happen to her to set off a new season in true Skam Fr fashion. As soon as she started gripping her stomach, I knew she was pregnant and wasn’t aware of it. Big, big surprise here again.

4) Numbness/Overthinking: As I stared at my screen, motionless, my mind went off. What did it mean? How did she not know? Who is the father? Do we know him? Will the baby survive? Where are the other characters? Will Lamifex be present? What? How? When? Why? Who?

5) Disappointment: No, I did not like Tiff one bit in S6. Yes, I sincerely wished for a season on either Jo (ambiguous and funny teenage girl, cis + white), Sekou (seemingly neurodivergent teenage boy, cis + black), and my favorite, Max (mysterious and grave teenage boy, trans + white) So why Tiff? It felt to me like a missed opportunity, but I did not lose hope.

So, these were the five stages of my emotional process. And then I made the terrible mistake to go look for the fans’ reaction. I didn’t even look at the YT comments, I didn’t go on Instagram, I went directly here on Tumblr. Why? I’m still asking myself that. From S1 to S6 of Skam Fr, I kept my love for the show to myself and only looked at ig and video edits. I tried once, and only once, to look it up on Tumblr, and was greeted by fervent agressivity, disrespect and hate. Why did I ever forget that after watching the S7 teaser? I still don’t know.

The reactions on this platform were wild. People are furious (I get that). People are disappointed (I get that). People are anxious (I get that). People are also verbally agressive, insensitive, hateful, disrespectful and bullies. I don’t get that.

Comments along the lines of “What she gonna do with a fucking baby?”, “Are we gonna watch the baby do nothing all fucking season?”, “Wowwww, teenage pregnancy, so new and relatable!” (note the sarcasm made in the comment here), “Who gives a shit about Tiff?”, etc. 

And then all the mistakes Skam Fr ever made flooded back onto the feed. The wlw misrepresentation, the whitewashing, the overdramatization, the dubious sex scenes between minors, all of it.

Let’s take a break here. Do I condone these mistakes? Nope. Am I a white-bully apologist? Nope. Did I forget every horrible action Tiff has made in the past? Nope. She manipulated a whole school against Lola, she profited from Lola’s mother’s death, she bullied her, harrassed her, pushed her deeper into mental distress. Tiff was a despicable character that I never once liked. The way she was played by the actress made it clear that Tiff was not intended to be a good guy. If I could replace her as the main of S7, I would, in a heartbeat. I’d choose, as I said, Jo, Sekou or Max.

Skam France deeply lacks diversity and made mistakes when attempting to diverse the issues represented. This is not an opinion, it’s a fact. 

Poc representation is very, very low. Only one season has a woc of Islam beliefs as mc (Imane, S4) with poc entourage/family. Only 2 other characters not related to Imane were poc (Sekou and Sarah, S1-S2). These 2 characters were very in the background and served to further the mc’s plotline, they had no real content. (I am not a poc, and so my opinion does not matter here. If you are not poc, your “opinions” don’t matter here, this point is not for you to debate. These are facts.)

While I do not particularly find the wlw representation bad, I do understand how it hurts/bothers other queer women. From my perspective, the bar was very low regarding my expectations of the Lola/Maya pair (none of them died *yay* they had a happy ending *yay* they were not typically overfeminized or overmasculinized *yay* Lola  and Maya were respectful of each other, understood each other, accepted each other with all their flaws and their beauty *yay* I truly believed in their love and it gave me confidence and hope *yay* I ould really go on but this is not my main point so I’ll stop here) Regardless of my opinion on Mayla, I understand that to some queer women, it was bothering/hurtful. (If you are anything other than a woman / wlw, this point is not for you to debate. Keep your “opinions” to yourself, it does not matter here. These are facts.)

Like every remake of the original Skam where the S4 was given to Sana/Imane, the Muslim community was not represented at its best, at its most beautiful and respectfully. The character of Imane, although she is my favorite girl of the series, was not portrayed in a way that respected the majority of the Muslim community. (If you are anything other than Muslim, this point is not for you to debate. Our opinions do not matter here. These are facts.)

And so the same goes for the portrayal of sexual assault and child pronography in S2, of mental illness and homophobia in S3, of disabilities in S5, of addiction, transphobia, self-harm and neurodivergence in S6. Again, if you are not part of these communities, your opinions do not matter on these issues. These are facts that are not up for debate.

In other words, Skam France, as well as the original Skam, Skam Wtfock, Skam España, and probably all the others I haven’t watched in their entirety, are NOT perfect shows. They (maybe) tried their best to portray issues of the younger generations that are ugly, shameful, taboo, hard-to-swallow-pills. Of course they made mistakes. Of course they have to be held accountable. Of course they can and should do better. Of course it must be spoken about.

Here is my problem.

The so-called “fans” shamelessly SHITTING on the WHOLE show because of ONE TEASER TRAILER. (btw, this is where I get angry)

I am not talking about the fans making fun of the show and this season’s premise like “Better MCs than Tiff for S7: a romance between the car that almost hit Lucas S3 and the car that hit Arthur S5, or the school’s nurse, or Imane’s dad, or Elu’s rabbit” (that shit’s funny and I’d watch all of these).Or the joke about Wtfock and Skam Fr shaking hands while signing the same contract to disappoint the fans with white MCs (it’s funny cuz it’s trueeeee).

I am not talking about the fans criticizing the producers’ choice of Tiff as MC. There is a difference between shitting on issues and adressing/discussing them. I WANT to talk about how this season’s issue would have been so much better if a woc, specifically a black woman, had been the MC, because black women and doctors are a whole different level of issue than white women and doctors. Add on top of that an unplanned teenage pregnancy? It would have been IMMACULATE. I WANT to talk which wlw couple was better represented, Mayla or Croana/Crisana, and why is that. I WANT to talk about disabilities in black and poc communities. I WANT to talk about headcanons, AUs, to rectify the missed marks. I WANT to talk about our takes on seasons about Max, Sekou and Jo, instead of Tiff’s.

I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR SHITTY, NEGATIVE, UNHELPFUL, HURTFUL COMMENTS.

Just because the protagonist is white, doesn’t give you ANY right to dismiss the issue that is unplanned teenage pregnancy. This is a problem that affects countries WORLDWIDE. Do you know how many deaths are related to minors giving birth? Do you know how many babies die at birth from these pregnancies? Do you have any idea the trauma it puts you through, to go into labor without even knowing you were pregnant in the first place, and then giving birth, and then having to care for a defensless human being? The dilemma of keeping it, or giving it away? The fear that lives in every person able to give birth, that one day they’ll become pregnant, because society turns sych a shameful look to that? No matter your ethnicity, your gender identity, your sexuality, your political stance or whatever shit you bring up to justify your disgraceful and downright degrading comments, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY THAT A MINOR GIVING BIRTH IS NOT AN ISSUE. 

You think the topic has been covered plenty before? Yeah, because shows like “16 and pregnant” and “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant!” are such good examples and show the reality with such an objective point of view! 

Bullshit. Teenage pregnancy is still a taboo, it still kills, and people are still morons about it. 

“Well I guess everybody is secretly pregnant now!” No, Jessica, but you wouldn’t know about it, would you? Because I wouldn’t tell you shit if you were my “friend” and I was going through it. The whole message of all the Skams is not that it presents super relatable issues of teenagers, although it is a big topic of the show. They present some issues that affect the youth in an authentic light, but that’s not it.

Tous les gens que tu rencontres mènent un combat dont tu ignores tout. 

Sois indulgente. Toujours. x x x

//

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

Be kind. Always. x x x

THAT’S THE MESSAGE. THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT OF THE SHOW.

And you all missed it.

All of you making dead baby jokes and death threats, degrading people who give birth, shaming teenagers for their pregnancies... Listen to yourselves.

“Well she deserves it, she was such a bitch!” No, Michael, you shit stick. Let’s rewind a bit for you, yeah? It was a GOD DAMN TEASER. We literally know nothing! Nothing at all! Why are y’all getting mad when we saw 3:25 minutes representing a whole ass season! Listen to yourselves. Y’all judge so fast for people pretending to love Skam and its authenticity and its motto.

You say Tiff is irredeemable?

Emma cheated on her boyfriend.

Manon lied and manipulated her friends.

Lucas was homophobic and prejudiced agaisnt mentally ill people.

Imane was homophobic too and went behind her friends’ back to get what she wanted.

Arthur cheated on his girlfriend too.

Lola dragged Elliot down with her in her addiction, lied, was verbally abusive, etc.

ALL THE MAINS ARE PROBLEMATIC.

Any guess why?

BECAUSE THEY ARE TEENAGERS. THEY ARE STILL GROWING AND LEARNING.

Yet we still loved them all. 

So don’t you dare tell me that Tiff deserves this, that her baby deserves to die, that teenage motherhood is irrelevant. Motherhood is not a curse in the first place, nor is it something to wish to inflict upon anyone. Motherhood is different for every single person and nobody except the person living with it can have an opinion on that. We don’t even know if the baby survived, for God’s sake!

There is no excuse for this kind of behavior..

It makes me so angry. Women are discriminated against in a fandom I thought was safe, again and again and again. 

I have to stop here because, well, this is just too much. There is much wrong with Skam (the original AND all the remakes), but there is even more wrong with the fans. I’m done.

You don’t support the show anymore? Fine, then don’t watch it! If I really am wrong, the number of viewers will go down and the show will die, just like you wished. There is no need to be vicious about it. 

I hope y’all are proud of your misogyny. 

Sincerely,

Adler.

[lovelylunarwriting]

Haechan Soulmate!AU

The first words your soulmate says to you are the words tattooed on your wrist.

Ever since you transferred from your old high school to this new one, all you've tried to do is not draw too much attention to yourself. 

The first couple days after you transferred in the middle of the year, you made a few friends and called it quits as far as climbing any social ladders goes. It's just not something that interested you. 

There is, however, someone who is interested in you. And his name is Jaemin. 

By some stroke of luck (to him), Jaemin managed to have almost every class with you. The only class he doesn’t have with you is fourth period history, the final class period of the day. 

You don't really know Jaemin, but it seems that trouble follows him everywhere. 

Trouble being his entourage of friends who are probably some of the most chaotic people you've ever encountered. 

Your last school was a lot more boring than this, so at least these boys keep you entertained. And generally speaking they keep the entire class entertained. 

They're all just so loud and not very low-key about their antics. 

Which is funny most of the time but can get annoying if done too often. 

Back to Jaemin though.

Jaemin has been obsessed with you ever since you transferred but is too nervous to talk to you- let alone ask you out. 

Some of his friends however, are astonishingly bold. One of these friends being Haechan.

And Haechan (along with most of Jaemin’s friends) is absolutely tired of him moping around all the time wondering if you’re his soulmate or not.

Renjun: “Dude just talk to them. Then you’ll know”

Jaemin: “Respectfully- no thanks”

Jisung: “Fine but if you don’t do anything you’re not allowed to whine about it”

Haechan: “I second that”

Jaemin: “Ugh but it’s bothering me! They could be my soulmate and I can’t know unless I talk to them but I can’t taLK to them?? Ya know??”

Renjun: “No we don’t know, just do it. Even if you’re nervous”

Jaemin: “But what if they’re not my soulmate?”

Jisung: “True, what if they’re MY soulmate?”

Chenle: “Oooo plot twist…”

Jaemin: “They’re not your soulmate, Jisung. You don’t suit them at all”

Jisung:”Oh and YOU do?”

Jaemin: “I could!!”

Jeno: “This isn’t helping! If Jaemin wants to talk to them then he will”

Jaemin: “Thank you, Jeno”

Jeno: “...but also could you talk about something (other) than them sometimes? It's getting old”

The next day Jaemin runs into the school building early, and up to the third floor staircase, where the boys usually hang out before the bell rings. 

He goes on this entire rant about how life’s too short and he’s gonna finally talk to you and confess his feelings.

The boys nod along and try to encourage him but… deep down they all know he’s not gonna do it.

Jaemin explains his plan to the eager listeners:

He’s gonna pass you a note during third period, since that’s the last class of the day he has with you.

Because then he doesn’t actually have to talk and risk saying something dumb. His logic is, that if you are his soulmate and he says something stupid, you might be pissed at him because that’s tattooed on you forever.

In his words, “I gotta make it count!”

Everyone agrees that this is an okay plan (Renjun claimed to have a better one but was quickly hushed), and that Jaemin should meet up with them after fourth period (the last class of the day), and tell them how it goes.

Jaemin agrees, the bell rings, and everyone goes their separate ways.

Jaemin spends the next five hours regretting his life decisions and desperately trying to refrain from nervous-puking up his breakfast (and later lunch).

Finally, third period arrives and as Jaemin walks in, you meet his gaze.

You think literally nothing of it, because you are more focused on cramming for the history quiz you’re gonna have to take next class period.

Why must you know every president and their political party? Because fuck you, that’s why.

Or at least that’s the thought that runs through your head almost the entire class because they’re going over Shakespeare and some other boring poetry stuff.

Jaemin though…. Jaemin is s w e a t i n g. Clammy palms, moist back, the whole package.

He asks the teacher if he can go to the bathroom (as an excuse but also because he feels like he might throw up his lunch after all), and slides the note onto your desk while you’re turned talking to your friend about how next period is gonna s u c k.

Jaemin leaves the room, and you lean back against your desk, unknowingly knocking the note onto the floor.

When he comes back inside (after like fifteen minutes of pacing in the bathroom and trying to not be anxious), Jaemin walks back to his seat but slows down when he passes you, giving you a chance to respond.

You though, have no idea of this boy and his well-meant schemes, so you just ask “You good, Jaemin?” as he hovers around your desk.

Jaemin blinks a few times, looks at his wrist, and sadly sighs. 

“Yeah… I’m fine”, he says, and plops down in his seat.

He traces the words “Wait- if it’s not butter, then what is it?” on his wrist with his finger, feeling stupid that he thought you might say that to him.

The context wasn’t right at all, but wishful thinking got the best of him.

He thought about texting the group chat and letting them know that you weren’t the one, but decided it was too embarrassing of an event to have to write out over text.

You on the other hand, still blissfully unaware of the shenanigans going on around you, head to your last class.

Dreading the quiz to come, you glue your nose to your textbook until the very last second.

The bell rings, the teacher hands out the quiz, and you write down everything you just spent the past hour cramming so you don’t forget it.

You finish early enough, and walk up to the teacher’s desk to turn in your paper.

The whole way there, you feel like someone’s watching you. And when you turn around to make your way back to your seat, you lock eyes with one of Jaemin’s friends, Haechan.

Sitting down, you space out and think about if maybe that Jaemin is the Jaemin your tattoo is referring to.

Your soulmate tattoo mentions the name Jaemin, but you never bothered talking to the boy because it wouldn’t make sense for him to talk about himself in the third person.

Plus, Jaemin is a pretty common name. If you jumped up every time you heard the name, you’d never sit down.

Something snaps you out of your thoughts. It’s that feeling again, like you’re being stared at.

You glance over and see Haechan looking at you again. He mouths something to you, but you can’t make out what he’s saying.

The only word you think you see is “soulmate”.

Maybe he saw your wrist and thinks Jaemin is your soulmate?? But you’ve already talked to Jaemin before, just last period. And it wasn’t him.

When the final bell rings, before you can get out of your seat, Haechan glides over to the front of your desk, slamming his palms on top of it.

Haechan: “You know Jaemin has a big ol’ crush on you, right? It’s so obvious”

You: “I guess I do now, since you just told me, but I don’t see it going anywhere if I’m being honest”

Haechan: “Is he not your-”, he starts but stops abruptly.

Haechan stares at you, wide-eyed, and then power walks out of the room.

You sit there with your mouth agape, looking back and forth from your wrist to the door he stormed out of.

“You know Jaemin has a big ol’ crush on you, right?”

It- you didn’t think it would be about this Jaemin. He was always so quiet around you and you literally hadn’t spoken to him until today.

As a kid you used to get your hopes up every time you met someone named Jaemin, thinking someone they knew was your soulmate, but after the fifth or sixth Jaemin it became too exhausting.

You’d honestly low-key forgotten about it by now… because the stress of school kind of gets in the way of life.

BUT NOW WE’VE GOT A LOT TO UNPACK BECAUSE JAEMIN HAS A CRUSH ON YOU BUT HAECHAN IS YOUR SOULMATE.

Loud, boisterous, diva, Haechan.

Speaking of Haechan though, he’s trying to figure out what the hell to do now.

Does he tell Jaemin? Or should he just not say anything?

Luckily, by the time Haechan meets up with the boys outside the school, Jaemin hasn’t shown up yet.

Haechan: “Okay I have bad news and good news and I don’t know which to say first”

Jeno: “Then just say both at once”

Haechan: “Okay well uh Y/N isn’t Jaemin’s soulmate”

Chenle: “Yeah I didn’t think so because of the butter thing, but how do you know?”

Haechan: “Because I talked to them and they’re my soulmate”

Jaemin: “They’re what?”

Jaemin had just gotten close enough to hear the conversation, but he heard every word.

Dead silence fell upon the group, Haechan not daring to make eye contact with Jaemin.

Jaemin: “Honestly Haechan… congrats”

Haechan: “What?”

Jaemin: “They’re not my soulmate and I’ve known that since third period. That’s what I came to tell you guys, but I guess you beat me to it. I’m not mad at you, it’s not like you could help it”

A collective sigh of relief and some quick banter, then the boys head their separate ways home.

Jaemin’s relieved to finally know one way or the other, and Haechan is now the one who gets to be a nervous wreck.

He’s not nearly as bad as Jaemin was though. He’s overthinking for about half an hour, and then just mildly jittery until he sees you tomorrow in fourth period.

Before you can say anything, Haechan repeats his routine of walking right up to you and planting his hands on your desk.

Haechan: “Hi so apparently we’re soulmates but I don’t know you very well but I want to and I don’t know if you’re busy or like boba but on Fridays we go get boba and play board games and it’s Friday so I thought you might-”

You: “I love boba. And board games. What time?”

Haechan: “O- oh. I thought I was going to have to convince you. Right after school we head across the street to that new boba place. It’s usually just me, Jisung, Chenle, and Jeno”

You: “Okay, then I’ll just walk with you after this class, right?”

Haechan: “...right. Shouldn’t you be more careful? I’m inviting you to go hang out with a bunch of guys you don’t know”

You: “You’re my soulmate. And I don’t know you very well, but you seem like a really sweet person”

This sends Haechan into a blushing frenzy, and it's all he can do to not sneak glances at you for the rest of fourth period.

He collects himself a bit, and when the bell rings he escorts you to the courtyard where you see three mildly familiar boys.

You think one of them is in your grade, but the other two look younger.

After Haechan introduces you and each boy briefly introduces themselves, the awkward politeness fades away and what replaces it can only be described as anarchy.

“Did you know Haechan fell asleep during our choir concert while some girl was doing a solo and he snored so loud she shushed him?”

“Yeah and Haechan can be dramatic at times so if he’s being too extra just let us know and we’ll keep him in check”

“Oh remember that time when we were long-boarding and the path flooded but Haechan tried to cross it anyway? Legend says the board is still floating down the creek to this day….”

It became a shit show of “who can embarrass Haechan the most”, but after a lot of complaining from Haechan and threats to do this to them when they found their soulmate, the boys managed to stop themselves.

Everyone orders their boba, and you all play uno, jenga, and other games until it becomes dark out.

Jisung: “Shit guys, it’s getting late. I don’t wanna miss the train”

You: “Yeah and I hate walking alone in the dark. I should probably go soon”

Haechan: “It’s fine, I’ll walk you home”

You: “Really? I was right, you are sweet~”

Chenle: “What but Haechan you usually walk with me! Now I’m gonna have to walk alone!”

Haechan: “Go spend the night at Jeno’s then! Walk home with him!”

Jeno: “Yeah let’s have a sleepover~”

Chenle: “Fine but we’re playing mario kart”

The boys disperse, and you lead Haechan down the street towards your house, chit chatting the whole way.

Even though it’s been a short amount of time, you and Haechan kind of just…  click together.

But that’s the whole point of soulmates, so you’re not that surprised.

He drops you off, but not before you ask for his number.

Haechan: “Wh- why?”

You: “So you can text me when you get home. I want to make sure you get there safe”

Haechan: “o- oh…”

You: “And so I can text you in general, of course”

Haechan seems to lighten up at this.

You head inside and immediately go to sleep, dreaming of the future you would have with that boy from your history class.

Oh and also Haechan failed the history quiz from the day before

34%. Rest in rip.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[get-fatter-kitty]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 (I bet you do fatty), 7, 8, 15, 17, 18, 19, 21, 22, 23, 24, 26, 28, 30, 33, 34, 35, 37, 38 (please say you have!), 39, 42, 43, 46, 47, 48

1. Do you have a goal weight?

I think 300 is going to be my next goal, I thought 250 was the limit, so I think I’m just going to want to be able to say I’ve gained a whole 200 lbs.

2. Do you have a weight limit?

I don’t even want to set one since 250 was going to be my limit and now I know it’s not nearly big enough, so I’m just going to put it far off at 500, since I doubt I’m going to get there. Watch me get to 500 pounds and still want to be fatter. At this rate I won’t be satisfied until I’m immobile.

3. Where do you jiggle most?

Belly, it’s gotten so soft and jiggles with every step, or even just when I laugh, or if I’m doing anything more than walk, it’s everywhere.

4. Do you have cellulite?

Nope! I probably would have stopped at 150 if I did tbh.

5. Do you have stretch marks?

So many all over my tum and thighs!

6. Do you waddle?

Sometimes 😳

7. Do you find it easy to gain weight?

Yeah...

8. What’s sexier, weight or size?

Size

15. Do you want to be funnel fed?

No, I hate it. It’s uncomfortable and not fun at all.

17. Do you prefer a skinny feeder or a fat feeder?

Skinny, unless I’m the feeder. Which I’m also into

18. Would you rather be fatter than your partner or skinnier?

Fatter. I love that my partner is very fit while I just keep getting fatter.

But there was a period where he was having to put in so much over time at work, so that he couldn’t work out or care too much about what he was eating that he got a bit chubby, to the point where in some of his very fitted button shirts, you could see his belly starting to but strain on the buttons...and anyway this is why we ended up getting a 3rd partner/feedee...

19. Do you like to be on top?

No, I’m such a fucking sub, I hate having any control during sex, but I will because my husband likes me on top sometimes, because it means he can play with my belly while I ride him.

21. Into public displays of feedism?

Less so the fatter I’ve gotten, but earlier on I loved it, now I get more self conscious if I eat too much in public. 

22. What are the sexiest clothes to be fat in?

Corsets. It makes my tits look amazing, and you can get such a good silhouette when there’s more to compress in the first place, 

but also the feeling of taking a corset off has always been great, but stuffing in one and finally taking it off is amazing. Including just how much bigger I look when it comes off.

Also lingerie in general.

23. Would you rather be worshipped or teased?

Teased.

24. Do you enjoy friends and family reacting to your gain?

Yes.

26. Do you want fat friends?

I would like my current friends to get fat, and have been respectfully enjoying seeing some of them gain weight over the last year, yeah.

28. Any aspects of gaining that you’re not a fan of?

Replacing clothes.

I’m getting this close to being that bitch who lives in historical replica clothing since it’s so much easier to adjust than having to keep buying new things, but then again I love buying new clothes so can I really complain? 

Also I might enjoy some reactions from friends and family, but sometimes comments about my weight do sting pretty bad.

30. More food or better food?

Better. Always better.

33. Even gain or disproportionately fat?

Even

34. Fat with muscle or soft and flabby?

Soft :3

35. Active fatty or lazy fatty?

I’ve gotten so lazy. My husband started bringing me on his morning runs just to tease me and I feel like I’m going to die.

37. What is something that surprised you about gaining weight?

I used to be anorexic, so even after a few years, I’m still sometimes shocked that I like being fat and that I’m basically everything I was scared of being.

38. Have you ever broken furniture?

Nope, not that big. (yet.)

39. Have you ever burst out of your clothes?

Unintentionally where I’ve just refused to stop wearing something too long, yes, I’ve ripped some trousers, and once burst buttons on a top while I was in public. Not even while stuffing, it was just tight and had enough 😳  I actually ended up crying in the bathroom since it was when I’d just agreed to gain, and I was out with friends who weren’t kind about it to say the least...The only time I haven’t enjoyed having someone play with my belly....

But on a more fun note, my husband has many times had me wear clothes I was getting close to being too big for and seeing how much it would take to get them to rip open.

42. Do you like to be measured?

yesyesyesyesyesyesyes

43. Being tied up while fed?

So fucking much. 

46. Do you burp a lot?

No

47. How messy are you?

Not at all. I hate anything gross.

48. Do you wish everyone was fat, or would that make it less exciting?

No, but I wouldn’t mind if more people got fat.

[thecandywrites]

Jewel Of The North Part 10

Ahhhhh. Ok. So I had to stop and rewrite this three times and it did not go how I originally envisioned. IT TURNED OUT BETTER. Because my original idea of how this was gonna go, was a little lack luster by the time I fleshed it out and put it into the story. 

Then I took a step back and was deep cleaning my fridge and BOOM, how this NEEDED to go bloomed and when I wrote it, it worked out so much better than my original idea. And I hope you guys like it. 

Always, thank to SO MUCH to @monstersandmaw​ for sharing ice orcs with me. 

Enjoy!

Jewel Of The North 

Part 10

Meanwhile Noah was crying so hard he could barely see the road through his tears. 

“Gods damn you Zara!” Noah yelled as he threw his sunglasses at the passenger window before the sunglasses shattered from the impact and the glass of the window cracked a little. He had been hiding behind them this whole time and he was so angry and hurt he could barely see straight as he wiped his angry tears with his sleeves. 

“Why didn’t you fight?! Why didn’t you fight for me?! For Sakura?! I thought you loved us?! You always fight for what you care about! Do you not care about us at all?!” He yelled from inside the truck. 

“All the way home last night I was fantasizing about selling everything I own and packing Sakura up and following you home because home wasn’t home without you and the clans can keep their stupid land. We don’t need it, we don’t even want it if you can't enjoy it with us! But you don’t even want us! One push from Alorna and you collapsed, you folded and withdrew and you were out of the game, out of the fight. Both at the dinner and at the solstice. Why did you just take it? Why didn’t you fight back? I know you can do better! I know you can fight better and meaner than Alorna ever could and I have seen you talk your way out of more with less. You could have told everyone you read for about it and they all would have been on your side and all the people of the clans would have stood up for you. But you just rolled over like a bitch! You broke my heart, you broke Sakura’s heart! How could you do this to me? How could you do this to us?! Fuck you Zara! Never again! Never again will I be fooled by a pretty face and a weak heart!” Noah ranted as he drove back to the control tower office and barely had the truck parked before he did his best to get himself together. And the whole time, he fought not to just turn around and going back to the ship terminal and getting the answers to those questions. But he was too stubborn, and too wounded to do so and it was like fighting a bear- wrestling with his emotions and regaining his composure. 

“So what other loads do you have for me today?” Noah asked as he came into the office, regretting that he didn’t have another pair of sunglasses to hide his red, tear stained eyes behind.  

“Uh, you just got the payday of a lifetime, you don’t need any other loads, at least not today.” Nancy informed him. 

“What?” He asked. 

“It’s already scanned and deposited, although all the writing on the back kind of made it a little hard.” She said as she slid your check to him from across the countertop as he stared in disgust at it, he wanted to burn it. Just because you had big pockets, meant you could buy your way back into his good graces? Fuck that and fuck you and your stupid money. 

“What writing on the...oh.” He frowned deeply as he flipped it over and read it, his face changing from one of disgust, anger and resentment to one of dawning understanding as Nancy tugged on the sleeve of her fellow secretary Andrea and lowkey held out five fingers and counted down from 5...4...3....2...1…. 

“Oh... shit.” Noah breathed just before he got a call from his mom. 

“Yeah?” Noah answered. 

“Where are you?” Summer questioned. 

“I’m at the airstrip in Skag Way.” Noah answered. 

“Have you dropped Zara off at the ship yet?” She asked. 

“Yeah and I’m already back.” He answered.

“And you’re reconciled?” She prompted. 

“...no.” Noah regrettably admitted.

“You mean to tell me that the second and greatest love of your life is about to get on a cruise ship without you?! You’re going to be sending her all on her own on a cruise ship full of thousands of horney and half drunk vacationers who would do unspeakable horrors to her in an effort to bang the sadness out of her? She’ll get eaten alive! You can’t leave her with heartbreak in her heart. No matter how much you think you hate her right now, she doesn’t deserve that and she deserves better from you. Have you no heart? No courage? No sense? Did you give her a chance to explain herself at all or did you just assume that your own conclusion that you jumped to all on your own is right? Did you not even talk to her at all on the way there?” Summer pressed. 

“...no.” Noah answered, feeling the deepest and meanest shame and regret start to eat him alive as the very idea of any of that happening made him nauseated.  

“Noah, look at Nancy’s monitor and read the code of conduct for all priestesses of Aura and see all the very valid reasons she didn’t put up a fight with the council last night and get your head out of your ass, go back to your plane and get your overnight bag, because I know for a fact that you keep one in the plane and get back in a vehicle and drive like the wind back to that port and do whatever it takes to get on that ship. It can not leave without you and do everything you can to search that ship for her and make this right between you like your life depends on it because it does. Your life and your happiness depends on it. Because Sakura’s sure as hell does and don’t do Sakura the dishonor and the disservice of leaving things broken like this, she deserves better too. But otherwise don’t worry about Sakura, I got her and she’s staying with me and with Isla while you’re gone and don’t come back home until you and Zara are reconciled.” Summer ordered him. 

“I think it’s this one that your mom is talking about.” Nancy cut in as she pointed to the bullet point on the code of conduct that simply read. ‘Priestesses of Aura will maintain a calm and peaceful demeanor while wearing official priestess attire and will not engage in any public fighting and shall remain graceful in all things.’ and another further down that said ‘If a priestess is traveling to a local event, she will refrain from engaging in local politics as a guest of that event’ and Noah felt like an idiot. Why hadn’t he given you a chance toy explain that to him? Oh he was a stupid bastard, he hadn’t even considered any of that. He misunderstood your behavior as you as a person but not you as a priestess.  

“I gotta go.” Noah told his mom. 

“Can I keep the check?” Noah asked Nancy. 

“Absolutely, it’s just a love note at this point, besides, here’s an advance on the check itself because we’re pretty sure it’ll clear.” Nancy smiled victoriously as she slid him five grand. 

“Go get her tiger.” Andrea, urged him. 

“I’ll have Tim drive you so that the truck isn’t marooned there.” Nancy added. 

“Thank you.” Noah thanked her as he took the money and the check and slipped them into his pocket and left the office and ran to his plane to taxi it to the hanger while Tim drove the truck over to the hanger too. 

Noah grabbed his overnight bag and other essentials and quickly got into the truck as Tim floored it to the port and he completely ignored everyone as he ran into the ship terminal.

“Zara! Zara Kingsley!” He yelled desperately at the top of his lungs.

“Zarasashasabine Zahnochka Volchitsa Kingsley!” He hollered again as everyone stopped what they were doing and staring at him like he had gone mad. 

“Can I help you?” A security agent asked him. 

“Yeah, I need to know if a passenger has boarded, I’m her pilot and she forgot something on my plane.” Noah answered. 

“Ok, well lets get to registration and see.” The security guard offered as he pulled Noah to the check in desk. 

“How can I help you?” Maggie, the clerk asked. 

“Hey, I’m a pilot and my fare left something on my plane and I need to return it to her.” Noah repeated. 

“Which Agency?” She asked. 

“What?” Noah asked. 

“What Agency do you fly with?” She asked. 

“Oh, no, I’m a private pilot, Noatak Kintuk.” He answered. 

“But the passenger’s name is Zara Kingsley? Or rather her full legal name is Zarasahsasabine Kingsley.” He told her. 

“Well let me see if she’s boarded yet.” She offered as she looked it up on the computer. 

“Ok, well she has already boarded, and we can try paging her or if there’s other appointments you need to keep, we can simply give it to her for you.” She offered. 

“Oh, no thanks, it needs to be given in person.” He gently countered. 

“I can assure you that whatever it is, we will keep it secured until she picks it up.” She reassured him. 

“I’m sure that’s the case. But uh, I really need to see her face to face.” Noah insisted. 

“Can you just tell me which cabin she is in and I could deliver it to her myself?” Noah asked. 

“I’m afraid not, that information is protected by our privacy policy and the only ones allowed past the gate are passengers and staff,” Maggie shook her head no and Noah’s shoulders sagged just a little. 

“Ok, is there, by any chance, any available cabins left for this cruise?” He asked. 

“Sir, this cruise was already pretty full when we left port and we’ve had a lot of last minute passengers and we’re all full except for our elite suites and there’s only two left.” She tried to gently break it to him. 

“How much are they?” He asked. 

“Well the cheapest of the two, is the garden suite and it’s 2700 or there’s the king’s suite, and it’s 4 thousand.” She informed him. 

“I’ll take the garden suite then.” Noah decided as he pulled out the advance he had gotten from Nancy from his pocket and started counting it out. 

“Ok, can I interest you in any drink packages…” She began her spiel. 

“I’ll take it all, just get me on that boat.” Noah cut her off as respectfully as he could despite the rush he felt in his being and panic whirling in his chest.  

“Will do.” She nodded as she continued to click and type in her computer before she got his ID and payment before she got him squared away and after forfeiting all of his weapons from his overnight bag because his overnight bag was equipped with all the items needed for being stranded in the Frozen Tundra overnight or even a few days, he finally got through security and very, very briskly walked through to get on the ship and throw the remainder of his belongings in his room before he went hunting for you. 

Meanwhile you were in your own suite, on your balcony because you had gotten a free upgrade to an elite room yourself and crying into a bucket of booze from the comfort of your own private hot tub on the spacious balcony. You had literally just dropped your stuff on, gone to the closest bar and gotten a bucket drink that was supposed to be big enough for four and you paid the bartender a hundred dollars to make it wicked strong and went back to your room, slipped into a bikini and slipped into your hot tub. 

You felt used, abandoned and devastated and regretting ever coming up here to the Frozen Tundra, even as beautiful as it was. Why would the gods do all the work of bringing you Noah only for him to break your heart like this? If he had only given you a chance to explain yourself, all of this might have been completely different. But to have him react so strongly and ruthlessly, made you wonder if you actually dodged a bullet. If this was a preview of things to come...your confidence in him and in the relationship began to wane and you feel like this falter happened at the worst possible time, at the most pivotal moment. 

You wondered if he would ever see your checks. Ever see the notes on them. Ever even reconcile with you? Or if his pride would forbid it?

But the problem was, was that you were outside in your hot tub and didn’t hear your room phone ring because the balcony sliding glass doors were slid shut and your phone was face down on the bed, charging. Both were out of sight and out of hearing range. 

“She’s not picking up.” The receptionist at the customer help desk informed Noah as he was texting your phone, having already tried calling it but sadly could only get your voicemail. But at least it rang several times, instead of going straight to voicemail. That meant that you weren’t actively holding your phone and rejecting his calls. 

“Can you page her again please?” He asked. 

“I can try.” She said as she paged you again over the intercom. But your room was too far away from all the public areas to hear it.

“Has her key card been used anywhere?” He asked. 

“Yes, but only at the poolside bar and her room before and after the bar. So if she’s anywhere else in the ship, she either isn’t buying anything or she’s with someone else who’s using the their key card.” She answered as Summer’s words of warning swam in his head and his imagination tortured him of others trying to charm their way into your pants and especially your heart had him feeling so anxious and sick, he was ready to throw up right there at the customer service desk. 

Meanwhile-

Alorna and Doug were enjoying champagne on their own balcony of the same cruise ship, but their room was on the other side of the ship and much lower down. 

“This was such a great idea.” Alorna praised in a giggle. 

“It sure was.” Doug grinned proudly. 

Right after they had met with the council. Alorna had left her kids with John’s parents for a week so she could ‘get away with the girls’. When in reality, she and Doug decided to get away from the shit-show they caused in style. Doug had gotten them a veranda room and were enjoying a spontaneous vacation that turned into an affair once they came aboard the ship. 

John had come home to an empty house and a note, telling him that his wife was going away with the girls on a trip and that his kids were at his moms and when he got an alert to his phone saying that his credit card had reached its limit from a casino charge on a cruise line that John knew she had gone on a cruise and had apparently been gambling. 

But when he had gone to town to go shopping the next day, he ran into her friends and when he mentioned that he thought they would have been on the cruise with Alorna they revealed they knew nothing about it. And through contacting all of Alorna’s female friends and checked her social media feeds, which were surprisingly very quiet- John realized she had left him to go on a cruise, apparently all by herself because no one else seemed to go with her but he doubted she would keep celibate while on that cruise because she had had a habit of maxing out all hid credit cards and having affairs whenever she was really, truly pissed at him. To the point he didn’t quite know if his kids were actually his kids or not. But he hadn’t wanted to divorce her for the sake of their kids because even if they weren’t biologically his. They were still his kids in his heart. 

But with what went down at the summer solstice, John suddenly realized why she had left and knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that Alorna had something to do with it and this was the last straw. All that law was going to do is push you and all your millions and Noah and Sakura and all the opportunities to get into your good graces through them- away. The next day he had gotten in touch with a divorce attorney and canceled all his credit cards and even reported the ones that she wasn’t on- stolen and had gone to the bank to take her off his checking account and had tracked down which cruise ship had that casino and it’s current location and had told his in-laws and his own family exactly where she had gone and was currently in the process of packing up everything that was hers in his house because she was no longer going to be living there when she got back and hoped that she had won some money at that casino because he wasn’t going to give her another dime. She was officially cut off and he had even called and left a voicemail telling her as much. But she would not answer his calls or his texts. 

Meanwhile Doug’s ex-wife, Sarah- realized his child support payment was late and had tried hounding him for it. But couldn’t get ahold of him and even his own boys couldn’t get ahold of him and when Sarah went looking for him, it was like he dropped off the face of the planet. And when Doug didn’t show up at the solstice celebration to enjoy it with his sons, she knew something was up but couldn’t figure out what. But when the announcement had happened, she also felt sure that Doug had something to do with it and couldn't wait for him to reappear because she was going to beat his ass into the dirt.  

Meanwhile back on the cruise ship, Noah went to the closest bar that had a view of the customer service desk and sat on a bar stool and called and talked with Sakura and apologized to her profusely for what he had done that morning and patched things up with her while he waited. And once he got off the phone with Sakura, he got a drink at the bar and waited, and waited, and waited some more- for hours and the whole time he used a pad of paper to write down all the things he wanted to tell you and wrote down his apology in between looking for any signs of you and even after all that time there was still no sign of you, he had the bar get him lunch so he wouldn’t have to move. He was adamant he was not going to move until you came. 

But by dinner time, he caved and he went and got dinner at one of the restaurants on the ship and stopped by the poolside bar where you had gotten that drink and unfortunately, the bar staff had changed over the course of the day so none of them had seen you at all before he went to the spa to see if you had been there and they had told him that you had not and he had came back to the customer help desk only to find that you had not answered any calls or texts or anything. 

Meanwhile, after a few hours in the hot tub and effectively turned into a prune, you pulled yourself from the hot tub and wrapped yourself up like a burrito in towels and a blanket on the deck chair and had fallen asleep and had slept most of the day away to try to recover. When you woke up, it was late and you had gone inside and ordered room service for a very late dinner because you didn’t want to leave the sanctum of your suite and it wasn’t until Noah felt incredibly exhausted and needed sleep that he finally went back to his own room to get some sleep, only to find you putting your now empty food tray out into the hallway, only a few rooms down from his own. 

“Zara?” He called, hoping he didn’t see a mirage.

Hearing your name, you lifted and turned your head only to see Noah standing there, staring at you in hope that bordered on disbelief. 

“Noah?” You asked as you slowly stood up. 

“Oh thank the gods I found you. I’ve been looking for you all day!” He exclaimed as you came closer before you hid your mostly naked body behind the door and stared at him wearily as you tied your bathrobe around you tightly behind the door. 

“What are you doing here?” You demanded angrily. 

“I came to apologize and beg for forgiveness. Look, I’m sorry I was an asshole earlier and I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions about last night and deeply regret I ever told Sakura not to call you Mama, I never should have involved her at all and I’m so sorry I didn’t give you a chance to explain yourself or anything and that was the worst move I could have made and I’m so sorry I hurt you. I should have asked you why you didn’t fight the council last night and I know now, after doing some digging that as a priestess of Aura that there’s a code you need to live by while in the regalia and I completely mistook your flawless and impeccable grace in concession as you personally giving up which is the worst mistake I could have made and I didn’t take the priestess thing into account at all. I’m so sorry. And I have since called Sakura and apologized profusely to her. And I will never forgive myself if I don’t at least try to make amends, because besides Sakura, you are the greatest thing in my life and I was so stupid for trying to walk away from you and assuming that because you bowed out gracefully that you were bowing out all together and that was very wrong of me and I’m so sorry and I swear I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you.” Noah apologized profusely as he came closer so he didn’t have to yell his apology down the hallway. 

“But if you could completely tear down everything we built together so quickly, in just one night- how do I know you won’t repeat this in the future? From now on every fight we have Sakura and I will both think that you’ll just up and leave and rip us apart right after? How can I trust you with my heart when you’ll just fly away at the first bump in the road? Sakura has no choice but to endure that because she’s your daughter but I and especially my children deserve better than that. They need a rock to rely on and depend on and they need so much more stability. And they need patience and mildness and they need to know that no matter what happens and whatever leaps they decide to make, that they’ll be caught. And after last night, I’m not sure you’re what they need, or even anything they would want, regardless of whatever I feel because they come first for me. They’ve been through enough. I won’t subject them to any more turmoil, especially on my behalf.” You vowed and Noah was on his knees in front of the door. 

“I know. You’re absolutely right. You deserve better and you should get better and the last thing I want is to hurt you any more than I already have and I never want to hurt your kids or my own. It was wrong and selfish of me and I can not apologize enough for it. I was so angry at Alorna and the council and I took it out on you and Sakura and that was absolutely unacceptable. I had every intention of trying to talk to you last night and I’m sorry I was so weak to fall asleep on you and I would rather lose every wink of sleep from now on if it means we can talk and work things out. When I woke up in the middle of the night last night and found the bedroom dark and you all the way on the other side of the bed turned away from me, I assumed you were withdrawing from me because you had given up on me and that hurt worse than any other wound I’ve ever sustained and I didn’t want to push it and plead and beg for you to reconsider because my pride had already taken the beating of it’s life at the announcement and I was at my breaking point and I didn’t think about, I just reacted. And I should have waited and tried to give you a chance to talk and I realize you were hurting too and I should have tried to heal your own wounds instead of adding my own to your already heavy heart. And it wasn’t fair because your hands were tied and I didn’t see it and I should have. And I’m sorry, I’m just so sorry for all of it. The clans can keep their stupid land because Sakura and I are in agreement that home isn’t home without you in it and they can keep the stupid land, you and your love are worth more than any property anywhere in the world. I know you think her inheritance is precious and I agree with you but not more precious than you. Land is just land. But you and your love are priceless and a treasure we can’t afford to lose. Just tell me what I can do to make it right. Please.” Noah begged as tears fell from his eyes and down his cheeks as he clasped his hands together like he was praying. And as much as you wanted to swing the door open and accept him and his apology with open arms, you were too weary of the pain right now. 

“For starters you can go to bed Noah, it’s been a long, hard day for both of us. Let me sleep on it ok? What room are you in?” You asked. 

“1207.” Noah answered. 

“Well, obviously you found mine. I have an interview with the spa in the morning. So I need to get some sleep. But I can meet for breakfast after.” You proposed. 

“That’s fair.” Noah agreed as he nodded and slowly found his feet. 

“Good night Noah.” You told him before you shut the door and locked it before you slid down the door as you sat on the floor and contemplated what he had said. This morning or even this afternoon you would have taken his apology readily and accepted him back into your arms but the more time went on, the more embittered you felt and you felt the door push back slightly as you both felt and heard- Noah slide his broad back down the other side of it and you couldn’t help but smile through your tears to feel that he was sitting on the other side of it and wasn’t leaving, at least any time soon before your room phone rang. 

Intrigued- you got up and went over to it and picked it up. 

“Hello?” You answered. 

“Hi, this is Emanuel with customer service. We just had a shift change and I got briefed by the day crew, your pilot while in the Arctic Tundra became a last minute guest just so he could return something you left with him. Once he came aboard this morning, he stayed with customer service all day, asking them to call your room every hour to try to contact you and we’ve been paging you all day throughout the ship. He only left once to get dinner and even then he only left the desk about half an hour ago to return to his own room. He is insistent that you know that he’s staying in room 1207.” Emanuel informed you and you almost felt foolish for not staying in that terminal longer and had waited for him to come back, he wouldn’t have had to get a room, he could have roomed with you for free. 

“He just found me and returned it to me. Thank you so much for all your help. Sorry I was on my balcony the whole time, taking a nap most of the day.” You explained. 

“Well, we are happy you’re ok and have what belongs to you. Enjoy your voyage Ms. Kingsley.” Emanuel wished you. 

“Thank you, good night.” You bid him before you hung up and even though your vindictive side told you to make Noah suffer till morning. Your heart cried out and begged for you to get him in your room so you could reconcile...all night long. 

Your heart won.

You went back to your door and no sooner had you unlocked the door before you heard Noah shuffle to get up and by the time you opened the door Noah was in the process of finding his feet. 

“You spent all day with customer service?” You posed as you leaned against the door frame. 

“Yup. All day.” Noah nodded in confirmation. 

“So what did I forget?” You asked. 

“My heart. I forgot to give it to you fully before you left.” Noah answered which made you snicker a laugh which made him crack a grin. 

“That has to be the cheesiest line I’ve ever heard.” You appraised. 

“I’m a cheesy corny guy.” Noah shrugged his shoulders. 

“That you are.” You nodded. 

“Have you moved into your room?” You asked him. 

“I literally just through my overnight bag into it, that’s it, I haven’t even unpacked.” Noah professed. 

“So, if I were to take a leap of faith and invite you to stay in my room with me, would you catch me by staying with me?” You asked. 

“Absolutely. I’ll be right back.” He readily agreed before he practically ran down the hallway and got into his room a few rooms down and got his bag and came right back to yours and all he did was drop his bag down on the floor before he was hugging and holding you and crying even more tears, this time of relief and happiness that he had a chance to prove himself to you. 

“Thank you Baby, thank you, thank you, thank you for a chance to make this right.” He thanked you as you clung together and you couldn’t attach your mouth to his fast enough. You were desperate for the taste of his mouth in yours and the second you found your prize, you were suddenly being lifted up and carried as your legs wrapped around his waist and Noah peeked to see where the bed was and once his knees found it, he very carefully lowered you down on the bed and eased onto you as you kissed each other desperately and the flurry of hands to get undressed and under the covers was what you both needed as badly as the air in your lungs and finally being rejoined was like coming back to life. 

And it was the best makeup sex of your lives.

[incarnateirony]

i think there’s a distinction that needs to be made. i think those with power over dabb & co are the ones who are exuding more habits of queerbaiting, while dabb and co aren’t. and because those execs are more or less invisible, the blame/fault is put on dabb as he’s the perceived figurehead of everything in the show when he’s not. anything he may want to put in the show can be easily vetoed by a higher exec so

Okay so I said I wouldn’t touch related issues facing wanky-side, but while this runs the line this is such a genuine, and valid thought process it feels worth addressing.

So in short: Yes. But no. But yes. But no. But we’ll see.

What do I mean by that? I’m going to put this behind a cut. But first of all I want to thank this Nonnie for at least trying to critically think about where the problems lead to. This is FAR BETTER CRITICAL THINKING than I see in this discussion most of the time and this. More like this. Nuance, discussion, idea trade, history. Let’s do it.

Okay, so.

How can it be yes no yes no maybe eenie meenie miney mo?

Because it really depends on what part of this 15 year legacy show we’re talking about.

What I’m about to say isn’t going to be popular, but I’ve said it before, I just can’t find the ancient ass post discussing it.

We’re going to rewind. Like, a fucking lot. A lot, a lot. This is going to be a history ride, and you’re probably going to wonder how it connects to the conversation at first, but bear with me.

Ignoring any personal frustrations I have with the casting of season 4 – frankly a chapter of this FUCKING show that haunts me somewhere in the ballpark of, “If my friend wasn’t dismissed as not white enough and got the role, would we have Misha, Destiel, any of this, would the show be on, would she have been chased off as the other actresses?” – and frankly these are the things people don’t even fucking *think* about.

TLDR a bajillion years ago CW made a casting call and we got this super cute character named Anna that Dean was slated to bend over in two seconds flat, as old canon used to be before modernly growing. The actress expressed discomfort, and frankly went over with the audience about as well as wet cardboard. And like, while I agree that a lot of women were hated for misogynistic reasons in this show, she really was about as interesting as a plank of plywood to me once she got past her first performance or two.

At the same time, this handsome bastard named Misha Collins auditioned for a bit role originally intended for 3 episodes and quickly extended to 6. But, identified as lightning in a bottle and with on-fire chemistry, while Anna waffled for *several* reasons, summarily, their story ends swapped. That’s… not like *exactly* what happened but it’s *basically* what happened. Anna became the herald and contagonist instead of Cas, and Cas quite frankly took on the role of the goddess.

With Lisa already entered before Anna, there’s no evidence whatsoever she was intended as endgame. Story flip. Thank you for everything last night on earth fall by angel banishing almost like this was foreshadowed woohoo! But… don’t lend towards a relationship. No point. Given, they made a few jokes on set at that point, but it wasn’t really an idea *they thought anyone took seriously*. 

Coming from a phase where most of the leads were introduced to “slash fandom” by Wincest, which they literally used to torture and prank each other, the idea of this being anything serious really wasn’t on their radar. The one I remember most was Misha choosing to sit on Dean’s side of the bed as Cas in the famous “What were you dreaming about?” and Sgriccia being like “that’s kinda gay” “nah keep it”

I mean, is that… queerbait at that point? I don’t think it’s fair to really call it that. They respectfully tried to scrub out the leading romantic edges from what would have been Anna’s story, but ultimately, the human psyche kind of recognizes 8000 years of storytelling history subconsciously when using the Hero’s Journey narrative, so it was resonant. Nobody was crazy for seeing it. That didn’t mean it was right, that didn’t mean it’s what they were consciously leading anyone for.

Hell, Jensen didn’t even know what the fuck Destiel WAS until season 7 (”Deathstiel?”) due to the way cons, circuits, and fansites kept the conversation force-muted at that point. Anything they had floated somewhere in the area of “hah that is kinda gay I guess”, and even that there’s no evidence of being frequent.

Kripke left, the show petered, social media was new, and summarily, Sera Gamble was a dumbass and listened to the wrong crowd that seemed super big back when big accounts were a whole 10K followers and you had 50 asshats screaming as a coordinated group about Ruining The Show™. Ratings tanked, somewhere between Misha being fired and the show turning into a parody of itself with dick jokes that made it seem like Gamble was trying to target 11 year old boys for her audience, and like, that’s it, that was the season. 

Until that nosedive spiral essentially turned into a shorthand apology reversal, a panicked and roughly written script that was *SO GAY* that *EVEN MISHA FUCKING COLLINS* couldn’t seriously choke out the dialogue. It was cheap, it was out of character, and as Jensen put it, the dialogue might as well have had him petting and sobbing into Castiel’s coat while essentially being like I SLEEP WITH YOUR COAT EVERY NIGHT TO REMEMBER YOUR SCENT UWU and shit that just LITERALLY vaulted from alien fascinated staring into desperate teenage gay drama in the body of a 30 year old man.

So yeah. Did I consider it reasonable to change that? Fuck yes I did. 

Was what Sera Gamble did queerbait? Yes, actually. And she did it again in the Magicians. You see, Gamble had fucked over an audience, and then tried to exploit that audience in reverse when she realized she fucked over the *wrong* audience, but had zero intent of fulfillment.

And then magically, Sera Gamble didn’t fucking work there anymore after a whole like, year and a half as showrunner.

Now, at the same time, Dawn Ostroff was leaving the CW. Jensen’s had some pretty fierce words about Dawn Ostroff not understanding the show and how to manage it, but whatever. Bye, Dawn. Hello… MARK FUCKING PEDOWITZ. But at the same time, WELCOME BACK CARVER and most of all HOWDY DO NETFLIX, so nice to make a guaranteed deal with you (that ended as of this year due to a CBS merchandising meltdown).

When Carver came back, he said a lot of things. He… very tactfully called Gamble’s era trash by phasing it like “:) Watching the show :) since I left :) I realized :) a lot of our mythology :) has been difficult to follow :) so I went :) back to basics :) please help”, and others, like mentioning he had a three year plan on his desk. So 3. Season 8, 9, 10. He had notes for his S10 finale in mind and everything! Great stuff.

Now the fandom, at this point, generally didn’t pay attention to the network or production. In fact, the actor worship around here is some other kind of wild and I don’t know how after 15 years people haven’t figured out that it isn’t how to go about paying attention. Either way – plot switches, showrunner switches, author switches, and NETWORK LEADERSHIP SWITCHES. 

Now, this little part here is speculation – but I am 99% sure that when Carver was pulling SPN out of the cancellation toilet, he had bigger things to inform the new execs about than “btw I might make it gay.” Like “Hey, since CW just got its netflix deal, if you give us another year we can import fresh demographic while bringing back Collins’ old fanbase by setting him back as a regular.” SURE, SOUND GREAT, MAKE MONEY, THX.

Cool. Cool. Make sense so far, you still with me?

Because at this point, S8 into early S9, fandom had gotten itself into all kinds of a stir. It was about to go canon, rite nao, said a bunch of bloggers, who at that point WERE pretty much chasing wallpapers and Tshirts and making the most bizarre uncorroborated parallel interpretations like “IF U PARALLEL IT TO MOBY DICK-” WHAT WHY WHERE– ??? BUT cAS = fISH

Okay, my fucking annoyance at what counted as lit crit in those days aside, we’ll get back on track. Everybody started vibrating for this shit because, you know what, S8 did resonate pretty strong, almost like authors were toying with ideas. I’m not gonna get into stuff about Robbie, I THINK fandom knows the statements he’s made and I don’t just mean the whole Destiel being canon tweet both antis and bitters descended on him to eviscerate him about. About what? Calling it queerbait!

So here we go, the great advent. About a year after a dramatic network shift, a CW exec was like :))))))))) I’D LIKE TO LEARN ABOUT THIS FANDOM THAT IS SUDDENLY MAKING ME MONEY!! WHAT SHOULD I DO??? TO TWITTER! HASHTAG TALK TO THEM!

[logs in]

Beep boop. “Destiel?”  “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” “Destiel?” the FUCK is a Destiel? Wait what no I don’t know what you’re talking about representation isn’t our intention with these characters. “QUEERBAIT”  “QUEERBAIT” “QUEERBAIT” “QUEERBAIT” “QUEERBAIT” “QUEERBAIT” “QUEERBAIT” “QUEERBAIT” “QUEERBAIT” “QUEERBAIT” “QUEERBAIT”

And then the network exec got so slammed he deleted twitter entirely and everybody popped confetti and felt accomplished and did NOT realize how fucking BAD that was. And frankly, anyone that did kinda didn’t want to admit it, because taking responsibility for that tire fire was… not… attractive. In fact, several folks are still around to this day, bitter blogging or making weirdass meta or accusing other people of wallpapers and Tshirts because that’s what they did so *YAY, PROJECTION!*

My own frustrated bitterness aside, I’m going to place some questions down, and not so much answer them as, now that the reader has really taken history in, let them decide:

At this point… is this queerbait?

Because this is when the queerbait yelling began. It’s when every fan with even a moderate platform or site blasted it out there. 

It’s when the fandom made DeanCas a big problem.

And it’s also literally the same time Carver left his very first recorded, known direction with a romantic tilt, “The note I got from Jeremy Carver was to play it like a jilted lover, so that’s what we played there,” on LGBT author Bobo berens’ very first episode. Everyone runs circles around that modernly, or goes “SEE??? QUEERBAIT!” without realizing what the FUCK just happened here.

So, SPN went from cancel rating line to their most successful show between 7 and 9. Suddenly corporate sees their successful product *ON FUCKING FIRE* so do you know what happens?

Fuck it this IS one line I’ll break: Corporate panicked. They changed their press packets. If you noticed a bunch of media-adjacent people and their friends suddenly get bitter as FUCK in season 10 after still surviving the S9 mess, here’s fucking why. Because now that everybody spent the last YEAR trying to burn down the product yelling about shit that corporate had been literally blindsided by, they added temporarily a new section to the packet that included sexuality. They were, at that moment, suddenly listed collectively as heterosexual men. SEE, WE AREN’T QUEERBAITING IF WE TELL YOU THEY’RE STRAIGHT *will smith pose*

Congrats fandom, you have now officially made Destiel A Huge Problem™ to the corporate behemoth behind the shiny pictures. The iron curtain dropped. This is what you could call “Protect the Product Mode” if you will. 

Now again, at this point: Is it queerbait?

Because at this point, S9-10 was rolling out. We all know it, Cain, Collette, *gestures off into infinity* But let’s fall back to Carver’s statement. 3 years. 8, 9, 10. You know what else happened season 10?

A bunch of shit, including shit Carver *wrote himself for the season 10 finale* got filmed, then cut. Coincidentally, it was all very gay shit. Things that pulled forward the Crowley/Abaddon Cas/Colette Sam/Abel parallels, arguing over who was who’s boyfriend, Rowena mentioning about them both being shattered at the Altar of Winchester (15.3 is calling), the secret admirer dream, I could go on. I mean, this shit literally would have shifted the entire storytelling arc to full-frontal taking that  parallel and addressing it right up in your face. First you’ll kill your mistress but you’ll get it done, and then you’ll kill your wife. He’s your boyfriend no he’s YOUR boyfriend. You’ve BOTH been shattered at the Altar of Winchester. Really, this is what you dream about? Your secret admirer Cas?

K? K. K?

Is it queerbait for Carver to have entered with a plan? Is it queerbait for Carver to have been interrupted on that plan despite attempting to pursue it? And is it queerbait for the network to still lock down on that plan so close after the event?

You see why this conversation gets increasingly complex.

S11 rolled around, Carver was half in half out, Dabb was stepping in, big gay heart songs, take what you will out of that entire mess, and by S12 Dabb entirely took over and we started entering the era we are in today.

So let’s address where we’re at today. 

Now :) I can’t say anything for sure :) because anybody that’s been to or worked on marketing stuff definitely has an NDA :) but let’s play for a minute. Let’s say with the stone wall up, a set of creators still wanted to actually *go somewhere* with this story. 

“But!” remembered the network, “Remember the tire fire?! And all the people that hated the gay?! What about our profit?!”

“No,” a creator might say, “Tides have changed.”

“We’ll see,” a network might say, “Take it to market testing.” At which point, one would enter a few years of polling how the general audience reacts to this.

Now, if they were seeing promising numbers, they might be given a bit of rope. Why, let’s … just pretend. Totally. Totally pretending. That Dabb pitched this idea to take up Carver’s mantle. Let’s say that started S12ish when he took over. Let’s say they ran through hiatus. And then… authors might be given a little bit of a line. “Looks good, but we’re not sure,” said a network quite fond of its split conservative/liberal demographic, “Try it out a bit and see how it goes.”

And so an author room that would be full of LGBT creators fed out good faith groundwork. They might even be like YALL ITS NEVER TOO LAAAAAATE TO START ALL OVER AGAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN and just throw their whole boy howdy cowboy into that shit and get great ratings.

What if even if the results came back positive leaning, the network ho’ed and hummed and stayed noncommital? Might the creators scale it back while still writing it lowkey just in case they got flashed a greenlight? I know I sure would, woudn’t you?! Or I guess would you prefer we drop the whole thing cold and stop writing anything vaguely in the direction?

Difficult question, in reality, isn’t it?

So in this TOTALLY HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION, this leaves the authors holding the bag, waiting for a sign, and being held with limitations. And just in case anybody thinks “BUT AUTHORS CAN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT!! AND!! OTHER SHOWS!!!”

K have we come down to reality yet? So, sure kids, try the gay, we’re interested, but you can’t like, go Full Gay Frontal with it. You gotta imply the gay. Wouldn’t want to offend conservative america! Besides! We’re totally exploiting marketing making this LGBT content for you over here! *jingles a carrot on a stick* LOOK AT HOW MUCH WE’RE FLEECING ADVERTISING PROMOTING ALL THIS GAY STUFF FOR YOU AREN’T THE RAINBOWS GREAT?

Some creator of limited LGBT content: How’s the marketing looking?

Some network: EH! We’ll see!

Some creator of limited LGBT content: K guys we’ll scale it back to not upset them but don’t drop it.maybe we can have them hold hands at the end or if we’re lucky maybe they’ll say we can do the whole thing

Some LGBT creators: K

Making sense still? STILL WITH ME?

So at this point… is this queerbait, or is this business?

Put aside the emotional reaction. Realize this really only hit scale in S9, hit front line S10, and hit potential corporate discussion in this TOTALLY theoretic universe around S11-12. We’re talking 3-4 years. Not 10. And we’re talking only a few of it really being tested.

So again I ask, history minded: Is this queerbait, or is this business?

That’s where the nuance and complication comes in, and let it be said I am in no way defending the CW. I fucking hate the network. They have literally personally screwed over real friends of mine and I hope they choke on a whole bag of dicks with their bullshit, but honestly, the shit I have seen and heard would make people stick their heads in the sand like scared and ashamed ostriches for every time they trumpet “BUT OTHER SHOWS” – you don’t know what’s going on in those shows. You don’t know how they’re getting hardballed on budget decisions, you don’t know what that show’s marketed demographic is about, you don’t know what they demand cast how, you literally don’t have a fucking idea unless you’re up in that disaster zone.

And even IF you’re in that disaster zone, unless you’re truly in the upper echelon, you only know so much.

Now let’s pretend, again, totally metaphorically, and absolutely not inspired by a real person at all, that someone worked with the crew for a while and, because they saw support inside creeping upward siiiiince mmmm gosh we’ll say season 12 since that’s our advent and totally not when anybody specific started working there and telling fandom ladder fans what they thought they saw going on, only to get sad and bitter and angry and eventually leave, and all those friends, still abiding old bitterness from S9~, now get angrier because of somebody else’s burnout on their ITK level and perspective, even if that was *probably* aggravated by other work stress conditions as well, but hey! WHO KNOWS!?!?! :)))) What a weird hypothetical though and I’m getting weirdly super specific on it aren’t I so LET’S MOVE ON.

We’re in S12-13 discussion category now.

So my question is, from this perspective… when do you call queerbait? When not swept up in misguided hysteria… at what point do you say “Yeah, you know what, yup, that’s all queerbait”?

So we’re gonna take a bit of a break here for a second and really process all of that hypothetical world, where a creator pitched going for it, and got it put into market testing, and was given enough rope to hang themselves on if the network changed its mind.

After only a few years of conscious thought on it… do you even think the network is truly consciously misguiding specifically those fans, or do they see it as giving the fans something they want while testing the idea of possibly truly giving it to them?

Because here’s what fandom misses – the corporate perspective. And again, I’m utterly not fucking justifying the CW as a whole, but people look at this from the angle of fans, and then argue what they think is representative dialogue from the angle of fans, often while missing all of this history. All that history up till S9? That’s all very real.  But looking at history in perspective… who are you going to blame for that? Is it fair to hold S4-9 to that five year stretch of queerbait when that was… pretty much fandom manufactured from blissful ignorance to begin with? I mean if you want to go yell at Sera Gamble Specifically okay (please don’t) but beyond that like– that shit? Is that anybody’s fault? Do you blame a company for actually shutting DOWN the talk of it on a press angle? Can we call that and S10 queerbait then? Was Carver’s attempt at writing through it queerbait? Was trying to continue the story in S11 after theoretic shutdown queerbait? These are all genuine questions that are not asked enough. Most people don’t even realize they need to be asked.

So back to Totally Theoretic Land, where S12ish market testing would have been going on to see if people really thought it was Gay N Shit. Like a lot of people in an overwhelming majority after the amount of apprehension the straight old dude running the network has ever since the goddamn tornado of horse shit that happened like a year after he took over. Probably not the fondest fucking memory for him either. Probably also why he dismissively called most of that demographic “casual fans”, because in Smug White Guy Brain, “tru” fans would have all known, I guess, exactly the shit I’m telling you in history backtrack so, look at the silly girls wanting the gay shit :) Ahhhh girlllllls

Okay so, my impression of douchebags aside, let’s give it 12-13 hiatus to give the first test rope lead and 13-14 hiatus for the next, only to have at best noncommital and uncertain numbers and authors, theoretically, cautiously pulling back while writing it as generally established and implicit, as if it might, I don’t know, go from BIG GAY DRAMA to DEADASS DOMESTIC all of a sudden despite ITS NEVER TOO LATE TO START ALL OVER AGAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN cuz get it, they started over, after he came in his room and played him. *elbows* You all get it right?

K. So maybe numbers changed. Maybe they don’t. Maybe I’m not comfortable talking in this hypothetical, maybe I don’t have access to this hypothetical AU’s current marketing data as of this year, I just don’t know! We don’t know where those cards fell.

But if, at this point, after 2-3 years of market testing, and leading authors on, and giving them enough rope to hang themselves with to get themselves accused of queerbait just for trying to lay good faith groundwork for a cohesive narrative, because fans don’t care that 2 open closet LGBT authors are on deck or that there’s totally theoretically probably and in no way fingering anyone at least one closeted author on deck, or at least publicly so, their coworkers would probably know. But I mean. That’s just. :) statistics. Right?

K whatever moving on. If at this point they’ve been boggley bounced around… you know, I gotta say. At this point… I might actually call queerbait if the network stonewalls it. At this point, they’ve had a few years to really get their shit together, and if they’ve just used it to play yo yo with LGBT creators trying to make content then yeah, go suck a whole bag of dicks.

The problem being with the lack of nuance in this conversation, you’re right, Dabb and co would catch it rather than the guilty party, which is why I HATE faux activism culture. If you’re going to be an activist pay the fuck attention to what you’re being an activist in, don’t bite the hand that’s feeding you just because it was a PBJ and not filet mignon, go after the bastard 1%’er that’s eating all the goddamn filet mignon. But nobody will. It never works like that. And then everybody wonders why this continues – be it in this show, or on other networks.

But hey. Maybe this theoretic network got enough material to change their mind. Maybe another executive got promoted that might help one of the other creators argue it to corporate with their new shiny title. Maybe they can convince someone. Convince them of what and to what level, who knows. Maybe just continue telling the established story, give them a divorce, mention marriage, divorce, dead wives, breakups every 0.2 seconds while they go through a classically framed dark point in the romance everybody with brains and eyes understands because, again, historic storytelling we literally all recognize, but pretend we don’t when stomping about personal representation lines? Or hey! Maybe it’ll go further. (Don’t hold your breath.) Throw in some other shit that even a straight guy would look at and be like “two dicks one chick that shit’s gay bro” because WE LITERALLY ALL FUCKING KNOW WHAT IT MEANS EVEN IF IT’S IMPLIED BECAUSE THE NETWORK IS A BUNCH OF PUSSIES.

…*stops, breathes*

If you can’t tell this is a very long term topic of frustration to me, because nobody, absolutely nobody, wants to introspect and think, you know, maybe it wasn’t queerbait back then, maybe we SHOULDN’T have set a corporate exec on fire about it, that might have been fucking bad.

There are other ways to be an activist than to scream queerbait into the void at whoever is unfortunate enough to cross your paths. One of the best examples I can remember is Exorcising Emily collecting demographics on fandom, and testimonials from LGBT fans about resonating with the content – no fanfic, no fanart, no attacks – and sent copies of this to several powerful creative names.

Now… if with this history… if, from season 9 to 12… one of those names became a creator. If, by some FLUKE of imagination… he still had that book around… and even gave it to his freshly joined new employees like 2 weeks after they started working there–

oh wait and i oop

The mentions would be much as you expect, antis screaming and demanding her job (QUICK, somebody tell Andrew Dabb that she’s READING ANDREW DABB’S OWN BOOKS THAT HE CHOSE TO KEEP AROUND FOR THREE YEARS).

Has Dabb’s era seemed… more plugged in? More resonant? Better and stronger in its storytelling? More hooked into fandom? 

See, that’s what well thought activism can do. Well thought activism can structure an entire movement. Poorly thought rioting thinking itself as activism can cause the literal opposite effect of what it wanted. That is how these things contrast each other. And that is something fandom needs to DEEPLY consider. 

…but is it queerbait for him to try to continue the story? Even if, say, we drop the marketing talk, because TOTALLY nobody can ACTUALLY know because AGAIN anyone that DOES would have an NDA so we DEFINITELY can’t say anybody knows anything for sure, because anyone that said jack shit would probably get sued so hard their descendents down in whatever homo superior evolution 1000 years into the future would feel it, so you know. We’ll put aside this totes theoretical shit and ask

…If he just was told no– would you prefer to just drop the storyline entirely at this point?

Again. Genuine question. And difficult. And something poorly thought queerbait screaming can actually cause, too. 

So here we are in the land of the final season. Whether you consider it network queerbait or not – again, they can choke on the whole bag of dicks at a network level for all I care for ANY number of reasons, even well beyond the domain of Supernatural, and may all their bacon burn from here into the next life – it’s a lot more complicated than fandom has ever let it on to be, because letting it on to be what it really is, in full perspective, also demands a lot of introspection and acceptance, and we all know nobody in this fandom can ever make a mistake ever and they’re all fucking perfect darlings.

It’s a complicated answer to a simple idea… and unfortunately I don’t think this fandom will ever really sit here. They’ll yell “VICTIM BLAMING” because it’s buzzy, they’ll yell “HIDING YOUR GAYS” which I mean, yeah, but let’s talk about what led us here. They’ll yell a lot of things. But they will rarely quietly think, and study, and hone down to what’s going on in the world out there beyond what they have, at this point, become obsessively hotlocked on. 

Supernatural, as of 15.7, has already taken several steps further than it ever is before. No, that’s not a signal of me saying [Your Personal Goalpost] is going to happen. But it’s a sign that if they have a line, they’re testing it with every strength they have.

Going back onto the Fateful Advent: Cain. The mentor– who was never going to stop; I can’t stop samuel; he was never going to stop; I will never stop; Rowena, the mentor, never going to stop, shattered, at the altar of Winchester. Long ago, when Cas was human, Dean sealed him away, and now, he’s doing the same to him. So Shirt Of Bad Decisions Deanmon basically karaokes with his friend like the Crowley days, REPEATING the Crowley dialogue but infinitely harder to dodge, as if some sort of calculated method of cat’s cradle of How To Write The Gay was discussed. Man, whoever wrote that kind of shit would probably even publicly thank whatever big gay mastermind helped them map out THAT level of stuff. Wouldn’t it be funny if most of that shit had been written by a gay dude that’s still around and it’s still popping back up in the show louder and harder to dodge than before? That’d be fuckin’ wild, man. Oh, fucking WAIT.

And this is why I hate the way shipping culture thinks it’s doing activism. Most of the time it’s cosplaying as an activist and at this point it’s become more of a furry convention than it has any kind of organized rights movement. Nobody’s out here fighting for the rights of these LGBT authors this year, nobody’s helping them get a voice, and in fact, often scream at them or bury what voice they’ve had as not enough.

And I want to fix it.

Desperately.

And frankly, I don’t know how anymore.

But what we’re not talking about is some 3-5 year show that came in early and started intentionally fucking at you. We’re looking at happy coincidences, so let’s check with our gay king, the father of Wayward that everybody coincidentally accepted as canon with far less because of a (meaningful) third party line DeanCas had elsewhere but hey it didn’t have antis so suddenly it counts; let’s check with him about that.

That’s my king. That’s my king that wrote the first recorded episode to be intentionally directed as jilted lovers. My king that gav eus Colette. My king that gave us the mixtape. My king that gave us the PR framed breakup. My king that gave us Cas leaving Dean. That’s my King. That’s my gay king who has been fighting his ass off, only to be hung out to dry by a fandom that doesn’t even care to look where or how to scream, or maybe consider that perhaps screaming isn’t the option.

Is he yours yet? Have I broken through to a single soul on this?

That’s my king who wrote about the necessary evils in 2003, before the youngest in this fandom were born and while many were still in diapers or kindergarten; about the unfortunate necessary evils that he loathes and acknowledges about moderate queer content gaining exponential amounts of platform compared to whatever is considered hardline aggressive at the time, about how that incrementalization is what helped our media landscape evolve to this day.

And he isn’t wrong.

And he’s getting roasted for doing just that.

And I really wish I could just psychically make everyone fucking stop.

But I will say one thing.

“It’s network queerbait!” I mean

Yeah

That

Because… realistically? like 99% of modern queer content is queerbait, even stuff with canon queer content.

ESPECIALLY on the CW.

If you’ve noticed CW panicking the last year and trying to slap rainbows and DARE TO DEFY on everything, it’s because their entire fucking ecosystem just got fucked over by CBS wanting 100% merchandising profit like it already took 100% digital profit and Netflix was basically like “miss us with your bullshit” and broke the CW contract which was *HOW PEDOWITZ BANKROLLED MOST OF HIS NETWORK*. Now? Now CW has to carve a niche. So LOOK AT ALL THE FUCKING PRIDE COLORS ON– OUR– STRAIGHT–CHARACTERS??? BUT WE HAVE GAY ONES LIKE LEGENDS OF TOMORROW AND *flips notes* THAT SIDE CHARACTER LESBIAN ON SPN. 

*gets a whisper* What they killed her? Shit. Maybe bring her back. AND THERE’S THIS PERSON OVER ON JANE THE VIRGIN oh that just got cancelled uhhh VAMPIRE DI-wait fuck. Well we’ll just make one of the chicks in this shitty charmed reboot CBS just forced down our throat and killed Wayward over, that’ll fix it *jazz hands*

TV is a business. Businesses make money. The entire LGBT battle is basically us industriously proving we can make money. It’s about rights and visibility on our end, but on their end it is *always* about money and I really don’t think anybody really groks what that really means. 

So “it’s the network! Queerbait!” 

…yeahhhhh.

…welcome to working in television. Now you just have to sit and think about how many other times this has completely missed your radar.

The network will never get a shit about you, they give a shit about your money, and that’s just the reality of capitalist america whether we like it or not. When it’s 2143 and bernie sanders’ floating head in a jar is president and andrew yang’s base income shit is in effect and we’re all a socialist country and the world has figured out how to run high cost businesses like TV on the power of unicorn farts, they might actually give a shit. But they don’t. There may be a few advocates WITHIN the company that do, but as a whole body, the network will never give a shit. They don’t care if you’re black, white, straight, gay, disabled, male, female, beyond what, explicitly, that totals to in dollar signs depending how they feed you, when and where. 

So it’s not like... *just* a queer rights issue, it’s an “Anything Trump’s America may consider offensive on their television” issue. It’s businesses weighing who they think pays their bills while making it and beyond that who they think is the safest investment to make the most money.

As a side note: Personally, I’d consider it dumb as fuck to not do it. SPN will taper within a few years down to just trekkie-esque addicts unless they find a way to get a new burst of viewership and boy howdie do I hope so, but how much Pedowitz overvalues the conservative US demographic, or certain international markets, I don’t know. I’m not in his head and I don’t have this year’s marketing numbers beyond basic live, +3 and +7 ratings, and digital calls. And just general nielsen released demo. But how he’s added that all up? Can’t say. And I sure ain’t gonna bank on him not being a dumbass, when he’s famous for it, so don’t go get your hopes up either.

[datingintampafails]

Chapter 32: Timmy*

Timmy* gave off a frat-boy kind of vibe with the pictures in his profile, a trope that has become my type. His profile did seem to be half-heartedly filled out; his hometown was just the abbreviation of the state, his employment simply said "cardiac surgery," and a couple typos.

Mostly my reason for wanting to message him, in particular, was that one of his prompts about a travel story was very obviously cut off and he ran out of characters. I messaged him saying the cliffhanger was dramatic and wanted to hear the whole story. It was a very long story, involving being in Ireland and a random person coming into his and his family member’s room. I mentioned I didn’t have anything quite that interesting regarding my travels before. We chatted more and although I wouldn’t say we had a lot of similar hobbies and interests, the conversation did flow well. He was definitely more active than I, going to the gym often and eating pretty healthy and en mass. Very much a gym bro type. I also had assumed he was a surgeon, given his position being cardiac surgery, but then learned later he was more involved in some sort of programming instead for cardiac devices, so not really cardiac surgery per se.

When we moved away from Hinge and onto text messaging, we were both mutually behaving as if we had known each other a while, and better than we did. At one point, he had asked, “are you a guy version of me?” To which, I was very aware of how little we knew about each other, which led me to respond that it was too soon to tell.

I did however confirm my place as forever the more aggressive one; I text him one day "Timmy*, when they fuck are we going out?" Not that it had been too much of a long time talking, but just that he had not yet made a move, and that we were obviously getting along and it would make sense for us to take that next step. We plan for a few days from then, a Tuesday, after work, and that it would have to be more or less played by ear because of our jobs' schedules being semi-unpredictable. My easy place, Armature Works, was chosen as where we would meet up.

Our date got pushed back slightly, as I got off on time, but he was going to be held up at work later than expected. He did however give me ample heads up, so I just relaxed at home a little longer than I would have otherwise, and perfected my outfit and minimal make-up. The day of the date, and leading up to it, I made jokes about being a catfish and that I was actually a middle-aged, fat, Russian man. I continued this while I waited for him when I was describing what outfit I was wearing so he could recognize me better with my mask on, then later added that I was still a middle-aged Russian man, but that I was still wearing a skirt and crop top. I waited for him on a bench for almost 30 minutes. I arrived on time to when he had delayed the date, but still too early apparently. Luckily, I had brought my headphones, so I just listened to some music to pass the time by.

Finally, I received a text message saying that he had parked and then that he could see me. Nothing is more uncomfortable than being seen and not seeing who is looking at you. I looked around and didn't see anyone that looked like him, so I went back to staring at my phone. Eventually, a man looking more like him appeared trotting down the small set of stairs next to me. Although he definitely wasn't short, he seemed shorter than what I was expecting, and his hairline seemed to be just starting to recede.

He was not familiar with the location as much as I am, so I took it upon myself to give him a tour of the location. Despite being indoors, and still pretty amidst a pandemic in late February, Timmy* kept taking his mask off. As a healthcare worker, I was confused and appalled; he should know better. I yelled at him every time to put it back on. Once he said, "you're one of those huh?" I almost rolled my eyes back into my head. Then he also asked me, "well when can I take it off?" to which I responded, "when we are outside and/or we sit down to eat/drink." He got a beer at one of the bars, and it was a beer that had some marijuana in it, which was an interesting choice. After having toured the whole place, it was time to split off to order our respective meals. I got my food, and a drink, and wandered over to the area I had last seen him, as he had said he was going to get a pizza. He was nowhere to be found, so I text him asking where he was. He indicated that he was over by where he had gotten his beer.

I found him and then he told me that he had ordered food from two different restaurants because he couldn't decide and also eats so much due to his athleticism. We found a spot to sit nearby outside, and it is a lovely night, we were comfortable in the fresh air. We both finally did take off our masks and started to eat.

I half-heartedly apologized for being so hard on him regarding the mask-wearing, but emphasized that I am passionate about proper mask-wearing because of my experience with having the virus and wanting to make sure to reduce the spread. He then said, "Oh you had COVID! I'm in a way glad to hear it." He then pauses before saying, "I have COVID too. My doctor said I'm asymptomatic? So I'm totally good." My eyes must have gotten the size of saucers; I leaned away from him and was looking around seeing if anyone had heard him. "Wait what?" Is all I could say. "Uh, no. Please tell me you're joking?" Timmy* stares at me confused, "I'm asymptomatic! So that means like I don't have it."

I am prepared to leave immediately. "So you had a positive test? What? Why are you here right now?" I say. Finally, he drops the rouse and admits he was kidding, but that he got me. "That was not funny. I was legitimately terrified!" So far, this date is bizarre. He mentions that because I joked around so much that I would appreciate it. I did not.

We eat our food and chat. Unfortunately, he also is a person who seems to eat with their mouth open. Another strike. Timmy* has become very comfortable around me, as he also decides to tell me another long story about the time he was "sexually assaulted by a doctor." Which was that he went to a doctor for a physical and that she had grabbed his testicles and had him cough, though the way he told it was extremely drawn out and had many mini-stories leading up to the point that was supposed to be the assault. I then told him, "I'm sorry to say that your doctor was not trying to hit on you on anything, that is a normal thing that happens with mens' checkups." This was news to him. It was obvious that he is not a well-versed healthcare worker.

Once we finished our food, I suggested we walk along the river. First, though, I wanted to drop off my leftovers in my car. We walk to it and I make him guess what kind of car I drive. He is impressed by my car and we don't linger long before I say we should leave the parking lot. He tells me that he has a muscle car, which is so random and I would never put him in a car like that. Whereas a sixteen-year-old girl might be googoo-gaga over this, as a full-grown adult, it isn't quite as alluring to have a car like that.

While on the riverwalk, I become irritated at the fact that he walks very slow. Slower than I am able to walk. It makes no sense as I am significantly shorter than he is, so my strides shouldn't be longer than his. I mention to him that he walks slow and I ask that he walk a little faster. He picked up the pace, but then slowly reverted to his tortoise-like speed over time. I tire of our uneven velocities and we take a seat on some rock benches. We chat about brief things and I suggest we walk back. Again, I battle with the paces, mention it a couple more times that I am unable to walk as slow as he walks.

We get back to the main area of Armature and take a seat in some oversized chairs. He tells me about his family and some stories about his relationships in middle school and high school, which are also drawn out and bizarre. It nears 10pm, and we are told by staff that they close at 10. A couple minutes til, I remind him we need to leave and I ask where he parked. He parked in a different lot, I offered to walk him to his car. He offers to drive me to my car. We do so and his muscle car is indeed very overly-masculine. He goes on to go through a bunch of random songs on Spotify, only playing each song for less than 30 seconds, very ADHD-like. He drives me to my car, but wants to keep me there, again showing me more songs. I'm politely just listening as he flexes on all the types of music he listens to. He tries to show off that he knows "alternative music," my preferred genre, but I point out that a lot of the songs he's playing are more "pop-punk" or just old alternative jams.

He compliments my music taste and mentions that he has noticed I am adept at knowing song names, musicians, movies, and so forth. I begin to joke that likely I am a little autistic, adding "I'm working on my eye contact," as I make direct eye contact with him. What he says next, is something that I was not prepared for, and something that still baffles me, and possibly always will. "Yeah, you do look a little retarded." Immediately, I burst out into laughter; not because I think what he said was funny, but because I am so bewildered and shocked by what was just said. Eventually, through the laughter tears I am able to get out, "Dude you shouldn't say that to a woman." He insists it was a joke and makes excuses, but I keep laughing, with my hand on the door handle just waiting for a good moment to step out. I repeat that what he said isn't cool, and eventually stop laughing long enough to say, "alright, on that note, I think I should head out." Being friendly, I still ask that he tell me when he gets home since I know he has a longer commute home than I do. I wave goodbye through our car windows.

The formalities are complete; he texts me ever so briefly the next day, respectfully I respond, knowing well I never plan on going out with him again. Then it seems we have a mutual ghosting situation, as I don't try to text him, nor he to me. This day I have another date, and after that one, I have no one that I want to communicate with as that is also a dud. All is good until a few days later when I am out with my friends in Ybor, drunk. I get a text from Timmy* saying "yo." I lament and groan and my friends ask about my reaction. I explain the situation and one of my guy friends asks for my phone. I hand it to him as he starts to text him on my behalf.

My phone is with my friend, but with my Apple Watch, I can see the text conversation and when he is responding. I start yelling "oh god please don't bring him here. I don't want to see this guy." Respecting my wishes, my friend decides to still fuck with him, but prevent this poor soul from spending money on an Uber and coming down.

My friends then send a selfie of themselves, with me not in it, saying "she's with me." I yell at them more saying, let this guy be, just ignore him. However, instead, my friend takes it a step further.

I tell my friend that he was too harsh and that I of course would have told him I wasn't interested, but a lot more mature and kindly. When later I check, understandably Timmy* has unmatched me on Hinge*, likely blocked my number. No loss there though.