#nct high school au

[weirdkpopgirl]

My First | Renjun Fic #2

Title: My First

Genre: high school au, angst

Warnings: mentions of self-harm, divorce, abusive parent. please don't read if any of these topics make you uncomfortable

Word Count: ~13k

Author's Note: I originally posted this book on wattpad, but not many people read it. So I decided to consolidate the book into a full-length fic to post here on tumblr and my nct dream book on wattpad. I wrote this story years ago, inspired by a brief crush I had in high school. I really hope you guys like this story ^ ^

P.S. there may or may not be a sequel to this 😅

*song mentioned is Sorry Heart by NCT Dream*

𓆩⟡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩⟡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩⟡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩⟡𓆪༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩⟡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩⟡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩⟡𓆪

A small high school reunion was underway, hosted by Lee Haechan at a fried chicken restaurant he had opened some time ago. Even amidst his hectic commitments, Rejun made sure with his managers that his schedule would be done by the evening. After all, he couldn’t miss this occasion. Not when this was his chance to see her again.

He discreetly entered the restaurant, donning a mask and a black cap to maintain his anonymity until he had fully entered the premises.

Suddenly, he heard the voice of his old friend exclaim, “There he is! The global K-pop sensation!” 

Renjun chuckled bashfully as a wave of applause and cheers echoed Haechan's proclamation. Taking a seat, he scanned the room, searching for a familiar face among his former classmates.

“She should be here soon,” Haechan whispered, his hand resting on Renjun’s shoulder as a glass of soju was poured for him. Renjun nodded and allowed himself to unwind for the time being.

After a few drinks, the restaurant's front doors chimed, and Renjun swiftly turned his head to witness the entrance of two individuals. And there she stood, nearly everything about her appearance was the same since high school. Her hair remained long, now adorned with a reddish hue. The melancholy that once clouded her eyes was replaced with a sparkle he never saw in her before. The smile he loved so much hadn’t changed at all. Yet, he knew that smile on her face wasn’t because of him. But it was because of the man whose gentle hand rested on her back. 

Renjun couldn't deny that the sight caused a subtle ache within him, breaking his heart a little. He guessed he deserved this feeling though. Especially considering he was the one who had broken hers in the first place.

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She remembered the first time she laid eyes on him, a memory that stood apart from his initial introduction as a transfer student from Jilin, China, at the beginning of high school. She had been rather inattentive back then. This was that one moment when she truly noticed him.

In her oblivious state, she hadn't even realized they lived in the same neighborhood until that day. As was her usual routine, she got off the bus, and there he was, standing at the crosswalk.

Initially, she was about to walk straight to her house without a second thought. But her steps halted when she witnessed an elderly lady struggling with several heavy grocery bags. It was evident that the weight was taking a toll on her. Before she could rush to her assistance, the boy beat her to it.

“Halmeoni,” he spoke kindly, offering a warm smile, “Let me help you.”

He gently took the bags from the lady's hands, and the woman chuckled, tenderly pinching his cheek. She observed them strolling down the street, engaged in cheerful small talk. Their smiles were infectious, and she found herself smiling too.

As they completed their short trip across the street and exchanged farewells, he seemed to sense someone's gaze upon him. Before she could react, their eyes met. In that instant, her brain went into a mild panic, and she turned away, hurrying home without looking back.

No, it wasn't as though she had fallen head over heels for him on that day. Such emotions didn't come easily to her, it seemed. She had simply become more aware of his existence. Unfortunately, she had never mustered the courage to strike up a conversation with the boy. Despite attending the same school, she was absorbed in her studies and lacked the confidence to approach him. The art of making friends was something she had never been adept at.

She didn’t bother to say anything to him in school and she didn’t expect him to either. But for some reason, knowing that bothered her. She couldn't quite explain the feeling. After all, she didn't know him beyond that one act of kindness, even though she was sure it wasn't his first.

Little did she realize that this encounter had only marked the beginning of their story.

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She remembered the next day when he stepped into their homeroom. Their eyes met once more, a scene that could have been plucked from a cliché K-drama. For precisely three seconds, she maintained eye contact with him before her gaze dropped to her desk.

That was the day she finally recalled his name when the teacher called for attendance – Huang Renjun. If not for his introduction, she might have not realized he was Chinese. Partially because she had initially believed his last name to be Hwang. His Korean proficiency further blurred the lines, matching her own.

Each time Renjun spoke in class, she couldn't help but be impressed by his fluency. A classmate mentioned that he had taken Korean as an elective at his previous school.

Nonetheless, she didn't engage in much conversation with him in the early days of the school year, despite the fact that they shared a classroom nearly every day, with their desks not being too distant from each other. Their circles of friends were also closely-knit. Besides the few friends she had made at school, she rarely ventured to talk to anyone else.

However, she found herself unable to cease her contemplation of him. Occasionally, her gaze would stray from her textbook, and she'd spot the dark brown-haired boy a few desks ahead. A slight lean to the left allowed her to observe him diligently taking notes during the teacher's lectures.

Before Renjun, she had never really paid attention to boys. To this day, she remained uncertain about what exactly drew her to him. Perhaps it was his refined facial features, their shared artistic inclinations, or the way he displayed irritation and endearing cuteness when angered. It might have been the enchanting hums he produced while listening to songs from his playlist on their bus rides home.

Some might have labeled her an obsessive stalker, but anyone would have noticed the same subtle details if they had taken a second to observe him. Living in the same neighborhood and attending the same school merely facilitated this connection.

Renjun and she were so close, yet so far away at the same time.

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She remembered their first real encounter quite fondly. It occurred close to the second month of school when one of her friends attempted to persuade her into joining their study group.

“You should join us, (Y/n),” her friend said, trying to convince her for the nth time.

She nervously bit her lip and hesitated, “I don't know…”

Her study habits usually involved solitary efforts or the occasional study session with a single companion. The idea of meeting up with a group of unfamiliar faces didn't particularly appeal to her.

Furthermore, her friend mentioned that part of the reason for forming this study group was to create opportunities for getting closer to some of the cute and popular guys in their homeroom. She couldn't shake the feeling that they wouldn't be doing much actual studying.

“Can you at least come to one meeting?” her friend implored, holding up a single finger. “That's all I'm asking for!”

Reluctantly, she ended up agreeing because she didn’t want to disappoint her friend. After all, she knew that friend would never lead her into doing something crazy. Thus, she arrived at the cafe with the intention of sitting at the end of the table, where she could quietly focus on her studies and avoid interaction with the rest of the group as much as possible.

As much as she had hesitated about attending, she had always been an early bird when it came to events like this. Tardiness had always been one of her pet peeves. Little did she anticipate being one of the first to arrive.

To her luck, the one other person already present was him.

Her body froze as she entered the moment she saw Renjun seated at the empty table with his books spread out before him. He wore a light orange hoodie and round-shaped glasses. Her eyes shifted to the white sweatshirt she was wearing, and she habitually adjusted her own glasses, no longer self-conscious about dressing casually.

Noticing that he wasn't by himself anymore, Renjun's eyes met hers once more. It felt reminiscent of a few weeks ago, but she couldn't tell if he recognized her. Unlike the last time, she managed to resist the impulse to run away when he spoke first.

“Are you here for the study group too?” he inquired.

For some inexplicable reason, words failed to escape her lips, so she simply nodded in response.

Renjun’s smile put her at ease, “That's a relief. I was beginning to worry that I was pranked into coming here alone.”

“Oh, I see…” She awkwardly averted her gaze, focusing on her shoes, unable to maintain eye contact for more than a few seconds.

He gestured to the chair beside him, “Um— you can sit here if you want.”

Taking a deep breath, she composed herself before taking a seat. She did her best to collect her thoughts and not appear foolish.

“Thank you,” she murmured as she set her bag down.

Swiftly, she retrieved her homework, diverting her attention from the boy next to her. However, as she did so, her gaze accidentally met him once again. His smile was far warmer than she had imagined it to be.

"You're Kim (Y/n), right?"

“You know me?” The surprise must have been evident on her face because Renjun regarded her as if she had asked an obvious question.

“Of course. We’re in the same class, and I've seen you in my neighborhood a few times,” he explained. “How would I not know you?”

It dawned on her that she wasn't the only one who had noticed those coincidences that connected them. He had been aware of her existence all along. There was no reason for her to have felt invisible. Why had she entertained such thoughts before?

“Oh, right,” her eyes dropped to her homework in embarrassment.

Renjun chuckled and tapped his pencil on her notebook, “Did you understand the math homework?”

“Yeah, I think so,” she replied as she skimmed over the math problems they had to solve.

Math wasn't her strongest subject, but it wasn't her weakest either. The same could be said for her other classes. She excelled in any class related to the fine arts.

“I'm not sure when the others are going to get here,” Renjun remarked, “So do you want to work on this and check our answers together?”

“Oh— sure,” she said, picking up her pencil, relieved to finally engage in productive work. She had been worried that attending this gathering would be a waste of study time. 

However, she and Renjun were both diligent students, sharing the same goal of completing their work as efficiently as possible.

Working together in a tranquil atmosphere, she started to relax. But, eventually, their friends began to arrive.

“Oh, you guys are here already!” the friend who had invited her exclaimed. She sighed, a tad disappointed that everyone was here now. Still, she concealed her frustration with a smile and waved at her friend.

The study group unfolded precisely as she had expected, with little actual studying being accomplished. Most of the group members engaged in chatter and jokes. Renjun and she, on the other hand, remained seated at the corner of the table, quietly working on their homework and occasionally helping each other if they encountered difficulties.

After about two hours, everyone started to disperse. It was already dark outside as she stepped out. Since they were both headed in the same direction, Renjun suggested they take the bus together. He gave the excuse that it would be dangerous for her to go home alone.

With rosy cheeks, she glanced down at her shoes and allowed him to accompany her to the bus stop. His actions reinforced her initial impression of Renjun as a kindhearted person.

Upon boarding the bus, few words were exchanged. Yet, the silence between them didn't feel as awkward as it had earlier. She gazed out of the bus window, watching as cars and buildings passed by. Occasionally, she noticed him stealing glances in her direction from the corner of her eye, and she hesitantly turned around once, only for him to quickly avert his gaze. Perhaps her initial interpretation had been mere wishful thinking.

Her attention returned to the window, and she couldn't help but smile, reflecting on the subtle shade of red that colored his cheeks. It was undeniably cute.

As they disembarked from the bus, Renjun scratched his head and avoided her gaze.

"I guess I'll see you at school on Monday?"

She slowly nodded, "Yeah."

"I guess I'll get going then."

Before she could watch him leave, she suddenly called out, “Wait!”

When he turned back to look at her, she smiled bashfully, “It was nice to meet you, Huang Renjun.” In return, he offered a smile just as warm as the first time.

“Same to you, Kim (Y/n).”

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She remembered the change when she returned to school on Monday. Upon entering the classroom, Renjun warmly waved at her, and she shyly waved back before taking her seat. It felt peculiar to have someone other than Soojin greet her with such enthusiasm.

After their last class of the day, Renjun approached her desk with hesitation, inquiring whether she'd be interested in studying together more often. He mentioned that they got along well and he felt more comfortable studying with her rather than with the group from the previous day. The fact that Huang Renjun, whom she had never interacted with before, was extending this invitation felt unfamiliar.

“There's a library near the school where we can go,” he mumbled nervously, his confidence waning with each word.

In retrospect, she realized she should have declined at that moment, perhaps questioning why he wanted to spend time with her of all people. Turning him down then might have shielded her from the tangled web she was about to weave.

However, she couldn't resist a shy smile and accepted his invitation. Her rationale was that she preferred studying with one person over a large group, but also because she saw an opportunity to get to know the intriguing boy who had captured her curiosity.

Her hopes were met, as they began meeting at the library once a week to do homework or prepare for exams. Once a week quickly escalated to twice a week, and soon, they were seeing each other nearly every weekend.

Through those encounters, she learned quite a bit about Renjun, and she believed he was also getting to know her, to some extent. It would be a while before he truly understood her.

“Hey (Y/n),” he said one day, his tone laced with concern. “You're not usually this quiet. Are you okay?”

Lifting her head from her laptop, she met his worried expression, the first time she noticed how his chocolate brown eyes sparkled when the light hit just right. His soft gaze made her want to answer honestly, but she had grown accustomed to concealing her true feelings, even from herself. So, she responded with the same excuse she used whenever her friend posed that question.

“Oh, I'm... I'm just tired, that's all! I'm fine.”

He nodded and returned to his work without further inquiry, though she could sense his desire to probe deeper. Several such instances occurred between them, but she always held back, no matter how much she longed to reveal her true thoughts.

At times, she found herself wishing they hadn't crossed paths from the beginning.

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She remembered returning home each day, where her school life came to a pause and her personal life resumed. Upon entering through the front door, she was met by a towering stack of boxes and several others that crowded one end of the sofa. To any guest, it would appear as though they were in the middle of moving. However, they weren't. At least not at the time.

Ironically, despite her typically organized and minimalist lifestyle, she was no longer fazed by the clutter. Kicking off her well-worn sneakers and placing them on the shoe tray, she hung up her jacket and felt a wave of relief as she discarded her bag.

She picked up her bag once more, intending to carry it upstairs to her room. Just as she reached the top of the stairs, a voice interrupted her.

“Kim (Y/n). You don't even say hi to your mother?”

She held back from scoffing as her mother walked past her. Shaking her head, she continued to ignore her, as was her usual practice, and pushed open the door to her room. Her bag fell to the floor in the corner by her desk.

There was nothing particularly noteworthy about her room. She owned only the essentials: a bed, a dresser, an alarm clock, and a desk. However, it was the only place where the real her was revealed, not the persona she presented to the world, nor the facade of strength she wore despite being the weakest person she knew.

Taking a seat in front of her desk on the swivel chair, she sighed. Slowly, her hand reached for her sleeve and began rolling it up, revealing scars that had yet to fully heal. Ugly slashes of red and pink extended from her upper arm and stopped halfway at her forearm.

Laughing to herself, she clenched her fists. These scars served as a reminder of her brokenness.

Even someone like Huang Renjun couldn't rescue her from herself.

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She remembered the day after school when she was listening to music while waiting for the bus. As she scrolled through her saved albums, a message notification unexpectedly appeared.

Mom: (Y/n), I've started applying for job opportunities, but I'll also be receiving financial support from your father before leaving him. If you move in with me, you can have your own room and everything

After reading the message once, she took a deep breath and swiped it away. Gently inserting her earbuds into her ears, she turned up the volume on her phone, allowing the current song to engulf her ears, if only for a few minutes, to temporarily forget everything. However, her solitude was soon disrupted by someone taking a seat next to her at the bus stop. She immediately recognized him as Renjun.

“What are you listening to?” he asked.

She removed one earbud and handed it to him, inviting him to listen along with her. He smiled and plugged the earbud into his left ear.

“Oh, I know this song.” His eyes lit up as he began to sing along. The current track playing was “Don’t Go” by EXO. 

While he sang, she stared at him in a daze. “I didn't know you could sing,” she mumbled when the song ended.

Blushing, he cast his eyes downward. “I used to dream of becoming a singer like Rain or someone.”

“Do you not want to be a singer anymore?”

With some hesitation, he responded, “Entering the entertainment field is risky. The chances of someone like me getting in and achieving success are quite low.”

Before she could offer a proper reply, the bus arrived, momentarily interrupting their conversation. As they took their seats, Renjun began recommending songs and other artists she should explore. Nevertheless, her thoughts kept returning to what he had said earlier. She understood why he held those reservations. Someone as cautious as herself couldn't disagree.

That summer, she and Renjun spent a lot of time together. There were no formal plans or scheduled meetups; their interactions occurred naturally. If she was in one place, he would show up, and vice versa. In their moments alone, he would sing a few songs when she asked.

Unbeknownst to her, she found herself captivated by his voice. It was so clear and pleasant to the ear. She struggled to comprehend why he had abandoned his dream of becoming a singer, as it was evident that singing brought him immense joy.

“Your voice is so beautiful,” she mustered the courage to tell him one day. “I think if you debuted as a k-pop idol, you'd definitely make it.”

He looked up and smiled at her. “Thank you for saying that. But I believe it's wiser for me to attend university and secure a well-paying job.”

“You want to be just like everyone else?" she asked, wondering in the back of her mind if her question sounded too critical.

Renjun sighed, “It's a naive dream that's long behind me now. It doesn't matter anymore.”

Her lips formed a frown at his words, but she refrained from further comment. At the time, he seemed resolute in his choices. She had even thought to herself that perhaps it was for the best. If he had become a famous singer, he might have forgotten all about her.

Little did she know then how their lives would ultimately unfold, marked by contradictions.

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She remembered the last weekend before school was set to begin again. It was the first time she had been invited to his house, as his parents were away on a short trip to China, and he sought company. The idea of being alone with him at his place was intimidating, so she was relieved to find that he had also invited another friend to join them.

“Ugh, thank goodness you're here,” Renjun sighed in relief as he opened the door for her. “Haechan and I were arguing over which movie to watch.”

Trying to stifle a smile, she rolled her eyes as she closed her umbrella and removed her wet shoes. She often found it amusing how Renjun and Haechan could switch from arguing to being the best of friends in the blink of an eye.

“(Y/n), back me up here!” Haechan implored when he saw her enter the room. “On a rainy day like this, we have to watch a horror movie.”

She had known Lee Haechan since kindergarten, and even then, he was quite popular among the kids due to his outgoing personality. However, she hadn't interacted much with him until Renjun befriended her. Haechan started tagging along when they hung out, not wanting to be left out.

Despite Haechan's love for provoking Renjun, he was much kinder to her. He would often try to get her to defend him when he got Renjun angry. Naturally, the three of them ended up spending more time together than with their regular friend group.

“It's my house!” Renjun complained. “And I don't want to watch a horror movie.”

Haechan flashed a teasing glint in his eyes. “Oh. You're probably too scared to watch one.”

“I never said that I was scared,” Renjun turned to her. “Let’s just have (Y/n) choose the movie.”

Her cheeks warmed from the sudden attention. Their arguments typically ended with her being the one to make the final decision. So, she suggested a compromise: they could watch one horror movie and one of Renjun's choices. The boys looked at each other and had a moment of realization.

She had to admit it was quite amusing to watch Renjun and Haechan scream at the scary parts and laugh in embarrassment during the second movie. The two of them got into a spat when Haechan spilled popcorn on Renjun, leading to more bickering that she had to mediate. Sometimes she wondered if they were really in high school.

By the time they finished both movies, they noticed the storm hadn't shown any signs of letting up. Renjun suggested that they sleep over for the night, deeming it too risky to venture out in the rain.

Haechan eventually dozed off, leaving Renjun and her as the only ones still awake. They sat on the floor in front of the sofa, contemplating what to do. After a few awkward silences, Renjun cleared his throat.

“Do you want to see some of my old pictures?” she nodded eagerly in response.

He got up and retrieved a light brown photo album, which took her by surprise as she hadn't expected him to have so many pictures. They sat closer together, and he began to show her the photos.

“These are my parents,” Renjun gestured to the image in the top left corner. “And that's my grandfather over there.”

She beamed when she noticed a school photo of a younger Renjun on the next page. Glancing up at him, she commented, “I didn't know you had a snaggletooth.”

“Oh, yeah, I did,” Renjun shyly rubbed the back of his neck.

He pointed to his current smile, showing her his perfectly straight teeth. “But I have lingual braces now, so it's not there anymore.”

“But why? You looked so cute!" she said, saving herself from admitting she found him cute no matter what.

He sighed, “Only you would say that. If Haechan saw this, I wouldn't hear the end of it.”

They continued to browse through the photos, and she paused at one page, her thumb resting on a polaroid at the bottom right. A younger Renjun sat on a bench, with a girl beside him.

"Who is this?" she asked in a softer tone, without realizing it.

Renjun gazed at the photograph with a hint of hesitation. Without uttering a word, she could tell that a whirlwind of emotions and memories had unintentionally resurfaced.

“She was my first love back in my hometown,” Renjun sighed. “Our parents were good friends, so we knew each other from a young age.”

“We only dated for a year. But back then, I used to think nothing could ever separate us.” He wore a nostalgic smile that quickly faded. Evidently, his youthful hopes hadn't materialized as he had wished.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened?” she asked cautiously. Renjun paused and briefly looked at her.

“My dad got a new job here in Seoul, so we moved in the middle of tenth grade,” he explained. “I promised her... I promised her that we could still be together, that we could make it work.”

She could see the regret and sorrow pooling in his eyes. “But the last time we talked, she told me she couldn't handle a long-distance relationship. So she broke up with me.”

That final sentence felt both empty and painful. She couldn't fathom how much he must have suffered. Neither of them spoke for a while, until she mustered the courage to ask how he coped with it all.

“To be honest, it was tough in the beginning,” Renjun admitted. “But recently, I haven't been thinking about her as much.”

She shouldn't have allowed herself to feel hope upon hearing those words. “Have you moved on since then?”

“It still hurts from time to time,” he spoke honestly. “I cared about her a lot.”

“That's understandable,” she whispered. “Do you think you'll ever get over her?”

She tried to read his eyes when he looked back at her, but it was impossible. Instead, he shrugged. “I want to, but I'm not sure if I can.”

From that moment on, she should have given up, knowing that she never had a chance to begin with.

Maybe then, she could have prevented all the heartbreak she had set herself up for.

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She remembered that one morning when she was getting ready for school. As she went to leave her things near the door, she heard her mother's footsteps emerging from the kitchen. Her mother's hair was disheveled, and she had gained weight from all the delivery food she had been eating. She couldn't remember the last time her mother had cooked.

“(Y/n),” her mother reached for her, but she instinctively backed away. The desperation on her mother's face quickly shifted to irritation.

“I'm your mother, I gave birth to you. Is this how you treat me?”

“Eomma—”

But her mother continued, “How awful it is that you've turned out to be just like your abusive father. I can't believe he's brainwashed you.”

Anyone else listening might have thought she was a madwoman. Her mother had become a stranger to her.

“Appa has not abused you. No one is abusing you,” she tried to maintain her patience. “Eomma, you need help. You're not—”

“SHUT UP!” Her mother screamed, causing her to flinch. “You don't know what you're talking about. How dare you disrespect me?”

The heat of anger flushed her face. She yearned to scream back at her mother and tell her to stop, but she knew it would only add fuel to the fire. It wasn't worth it.

Before her mother walked away, she said something that she had been hearing frequently lately. “You know what? Sometimes I wish I wasn't your mother.”

Her fingers curled into fists. Her mom was always adept at being manipulative. As a teenager, she did her best to take her mother's insults maturely. But when someone you love hurls those words at you every day, it slowly chips away at you.

All she could see was red after that argument. She remembered searching for her razor blade and making multiple slashes across her arm when she found it. She didn't care about the stinging pain of the cuts or the fresh, warm blood trickling down her arm. Her thoughts were clouded with fury. She was furious at her mother for behaving like a child and at her father for allowing it to happen. She was furious at herself for not being able to do anything. Every night, she was kept awake by her mother's shouting, harassing her father for no apparent reason.

Trembling with anger, she walked to school. All the pent-up pain and bitterness were bubbling to the surface. She had tried so hard to be strong for her father and everyone else, believing she could handle everything on her own.

By the time she arrived at class that day, she could barely hold herself together. She kept her head down to conceal the evidence of her tears. She took her seat at her desk and tried to regain her composure, determined not to let anyone see the real her, the one filled with bitterness and misery.

“Morning, (Y/n),” she heard his voice calling out to her. Renjun's desk was near the front, by the window, while hers was closer to the back. However, every morning, he would come over to discuss after-school plans or homework.

She hastily wiped away any tears and looked up, forcing a smile to hide her inner turmoil. By eleventh grade, they had become closer since the previous school year. She should have known that Renjun would see right through her. It took just one look for him to sense that something was amiss.

“Something's up. What's wrong?”

Renjun glanced down at her wrist, and she almost gasped when she noticed blood seeping through her uniform sleeve. Blinded by rage, she must have unintentionally cut herself deeper this time.

“(Y/n), what—” He reached for her arm before she could stop him. He paused before gently pulling up her sleeve, revealing the fresh cuts from that morning.

Renjun opened his mouth to say something but remembered they were in a classroom setting. He looked back at her, seeing that all color had drained from her face and her lip began to quiver.

“Come on,” he prompted her, leading her out of the classroom. 

“Renjun, where are you taking me?”

“To the nurse's office. Now.”

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She remembered him pulling her into the nurse's office. Despite her protests and attempts to stop walking, he paid no attention and continued. When they arrived, Renjun had her sit down on one of the treatment beds while he retrieved the first aid kit.

As he lifted the rest of her sleeve, she found herself holding her breath. She said nothing as Renjun cleaned and bandaged her wounds, her gaze dropping to her arm. What was once fair in color and smooth was now marred by hideous scars. Most of them were faded white, while some were still pink. The new red marks stood out the most.

Numerous times, Renjun tried to catch her gaze. She could tell he wanted to know what she was thinking. After applying the last bandage and closing the first aid kit, she forced herself to meet his woeful eyes.

“(Y/n)...” He began, uncertainty in his voice. “Whatever you're going through that makes you hurt yourself like this, you can tell me.”

They locked eyes for a brief moment, and she knew she was about to share everything she had been holding back. She loathed showing vulnerability in front of those she cared about. It filled her with a strong sense of self-hatred.

“I... I can't,” she practically whispered.

Renjun was stubborn and wouldn't give up. He placed his hand on hers, gently squeezing it. “You can trust me, I promise.”

She stared at him for a moment before her facade, maintained for months, crumbled. Slowly, she began to confide in Renjun. She told him about her mother's drug problem and how it had nearly bankrupted their family. She spoke of the sleepless nights listening to her mother hurl insults at her father. It was the first time she had shared the news of her parents’ decision to end their disastrous marriage. Finally, she told him about the argument with her mother that morning and the hurtful things her mother had said to her. 

“How could a mother say those things to her daughter?” Her voice wavered as she continued, “When I've spent my whole life trying to...hoping for her to love me.”

She waited for Renjun to say something. But he caught her off guard when he reached over and enveloped her in a tight hug. He patted her back gently and assured her that she had every right to be upset.

“Your mom must be crazy not to see how amazing you are,” he said, using his thumb to wipe away her tears. “I'm sorry she said those things to you. You didn't deserve that.”

She sniffed and shook her head. “I don't know why there's still some part of me that expects something from her.”

"It's because you love her and want her to be healthy," Renjun responded.

She lowered her head and admitted, "I guess you're right..."

There was a brief silence between them. Renjun frowned, glancing around the room before standing up. He looked down at her with a mischievous smile.

“Let's get out of here,” he suggested, nodding toward the door.

Her torn expression shifted to a confused one. “Right now? But we have class.”

“That’s fine. We’ll just say you felt sick, and I offered to take you home.”

“So you’re suggesting we skip school?”

“I mean yeah, why not?” Renjun shrugged. “It’s not like they’re going to suspect anything bad from top students like us.”

Her eyebrows lifted in uncertainty. She never thought she would ever hear Huang Renjun suggesting skipping class. She had never in her life done such a thing.

Tired of waiting, he took her hand and pulled her up. “You should go have fun on a day like this. To clear your mind.”

She could feel her heart beating faster when he held her hand. Slightly flustered by the situation, she just nodded and followed him to sneak out of the school grounds. They got on a bus and sat in the back rows. She didn’t bother asking Renjun where they were going. Her mind was still stuck on the fact that she had practically spilled her heart out to the boy next to her. She regretted telling him so much in her emotional state. But he didn’t appear to think any less of her.

Renjun ended up taking her to a small arcade filled with game machines, prizes, and neon lights. “Haechan talks about this place a lot. It’s my first time here, though.”

She chuckled, “He’s going to kill you when he finds out you came here without him.”

“I know,” Renjun said and took her hand again. “Come on, let’s go buy some tokens.”

They played all sorts of games that day, such as racing and shooting ones. She thought she would be bad at the basketball game, but it turned out Renjun was worse than her. She laughed when he got pouty for not being able to score many baskets.

“Oh, over there!” She pointed out. “I’ve always wanted to go to a photobooth with friends.”

Renjun smiled at her sudden excitement. “Let’s go do it, then.”

The two of them went in and paid the machine to take some pictures. In a hurry before the camera started rolling, they picked out accessories for each other. She hoped Renjun didn’t notice the shade of pink on her cheeks as he set a white headband with cat ears on her head. On the other hand, she chose a pair of large daisy-themed sunglasses for him.

Renjun convinced her to try doing different poses. By the time the camera clicked for the last time, both of them were caught up in laughter. To her surprise, the photos came out well. In the last one, she saw Renjun smiling down at her, and she had her hands shaped as a heart. Anyone would have mistaken them for a couple.

She thought they would be done once they were finished with the arcade. But by the time they left, it was late afternoon. She hadn’t even realized the time went by. By then, the school day was already over. She said that they should just go back home now. Renjun looked at her with a slightly worried expression.

“Why don’t we get some ice cream first?” He pointed toward the frozen treat shop across the street. Reluctantly, she agreed and let him lead them to the place.

After getting their ice cream, they sat at one of the two-person tables outside. Subconsciously, she quietly observed him as he ate his green tea flavored ice cream. Why was her heart continuing to beat faster whenever she was around him?

“You should eat yours before it melts,” Renjun pointed out.

She was snapped out of her thoughts and glanced down at the mint-chocolate ice cream cone in her hand. Laughing nervously, she quickly took a small bite. “Oh right.”

Renjun chuckled and picked up the napkin near him. “You have some on your lips.”

Absent-mindedly, he reached over the table to wipe off the remaining cream off her mouth. Her eyes widened when she noticed how close their faces were. When Renjun saw the blush on her face, he coughed and sat back down in his seat.

Once the heat in her cheeks lessened, she took the chance to speak again. “I didn’t get the chance to thank you for today. I’m…I’m sorry about this morning.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Renjun shook his head. “I just—if you ever feel like hurting yourself again…”

He made eye contact with her when he said this, “Come to me, okay? Don’t feel like you have to carry all the burdens on your own.”

When she didn’t say anything, he placed a hand on top of hers. It was the third time he did that today. “I’ll always be here for you, (Y/n)-yah.”

How she wished that she hadn’t taken those words to heart.

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She remembered Haechan narrowing his eyes at her as they waited for Renjun at the library. He seemed as if he was suspecting her of something. She hoped Renjun would come soon to break this weird tension.

“How long are you going to stare at me like that?” She glanced up from her schoolwork.

Ignoring her question, Haechan said, “You and Renjun have been acting strange around each other.”

She laughed incredulously. “What are you talking about?”

“The way you two look at each other is different.” Haechan twirled the pencil in his hands with his fingers. “And you’ve been hanging out a lot. Without me.”

“Haechan, we’re just friends-”

“You like him, don’t you?” Instantly, she froze when he asked. The corner of Haechan’s lips curled upward into a smile.

“I’ll take your silence as a confirmation.”

“How…how did you find out?”

Haechan rolled his eyes as if the answer was obvious. “I’ve known you since kindergarten, Kim (Y/n). Never have I seen you look at a boy before Renjunie.”

It was true. She had no interest in boys unlike the other girls in her class at the time. She was always preoccupied with what was going on at home. Not just with boys, she had never made an effort to make many friends. Her mindset at the time was it was better to be alone, so no one could hurt her. Then Huang Renjun came along and changed everything.

She briefly scanned the library to ensure no one was paying them any mind, before leaning closer to the table. But that didn’t stop her from speaking in a hushed tone.

“You can’t tell him, okay?” 

Haechan looked at her quizzically. “You’re not going to confess to him?”

“Why would I? That would be too risky.”

“What’s there to risk?” Her friend tilted his head. “You’re single, he’s single. You like him, and he probably likes you back.”

Shaking her head, “There’s no way he likes me back. I think he’s still stuck on his past relationship.”

“His first love back in China?” Haechan scoffed. “(Y/n), that was so long ago. And you’re here, right in front of him. I think you have a solid chance.”

“It’s not that easy, Haechan. Our whole friendship could be ruined, and I don’t want that to happen.”

The boy frowned at her. “So what? You’re just going to do nothing and watch him go find someone else?”

“Hey, guys! Sorry, I’m late.” A male voice ended their conversation. They looked to see Renjun waving to them and coming to their table.

“What were you guys talking about?” he asked when he sat down.

Before Haechan could answer, she spoke up before him. “We were just talking about the math test tomorrow.”

“Oh right. Let me get out my textbook so we can study.” Renjun reached down for his bag. While doing so, Haechan narrowed his eyes on her again.

He did have a point. She certainly didn’t want to see the boy she liked with someone else. But she was too much of a coward at the time. Confessing to Renjun sounded terrifying just thinking about it. She could never bring herself to do it.

Back then, she should’ve listened to her instincts.

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She remembered frowning at the empty desk in the corner of the room when she entered that morning. For once, there was no Renjun to greet her with his cute smile and wave. That was odd, she thought to herself. He was always in the classroom before her.

When she made her way to her seat, Haechan sat at the desk in front of her. His chin rested in one of his hands as he sulked.

“Our Renjunie is at home with a cold. That’s why he couldn’t come to school today.”

“He caught a cold?” He rarely got sick. But Haechan nodded in confirmation.

“Remember the other day when he forgot to bring an umbrella when it was raining?”

“Oh goodness,” she sighed, worry swirled around her head. “Maybe we should go visit him after school.”

Haechan smiled teasingly and shook his head. “Nah, I don’t want to get in the way of your lovey-dovey moments with him.”

“Lee Haechan!” She lightly pushed his shoulder as he laughed.

“You know, it’s really easy to make you blush? I can only imagine what happens when Renjunie is around.” 

She swore, the boy was purposely pushing all her buttons.

Regardless of Haechan’s teasing, she still went to Renjun’s house after school. She had asked the light-haired boy one more time if he wanted to join her. But he said that he had something else to do. Whatever that was.

Anxiously, she made her way up the front steps of his house with a bag in her hand. The school day was killing her, knowing that Renjun was sick and home alone. She had never so badly for classes to be over.

His mom was there to open the door for her. Even though they had been friends for more than a year, it was her first time meeting Renjun’s mother. Immediately she recognized their similar facial features. “Hello, how can I help you?”

Almost forgetting her words, she straightened up her posture and bowed. “I’m so sorry to bother you. But is Renjun home?”

The woman’s face brightened when she said her son’s name. Clasping her hands together, she smiled at her. “You must be that girl he talks about all the time. It’s so nice to finally meet you!”

Her eyes widened when she heard this. Renjun talked about her? To his parents? Before she could muster up a good response, Mrs. Huang was already ushering her inside the house.

“I’m so glad you came,” She said. “My poor son is sick in bed. But I got called into work right now and his father already left in the morning.”

She slipped off her shoes and gave his mother what she hoped to be a reassuring smile. “You don’t have to worry Mrs. Huang. I came to make sure he was okay, so I can help watch over him for you.”

“Oh, that’s so kind of you. Thank you so much,” She squeezed her hands and tried to get a better look at her. “Truly, I’m grateful that Renjun has a friend like you. He was so sad when we first moved here. But now he’s so much happier.”

She recalled the few times when Renjun told her he felt homesick. In the beginning, he told her a lot about his hometown and his childhood there. She couldn’t imagine what it was like to move to a completely different country.

“It’s nothing, really,” She told his mother. “Your son is a great friend of mine. He…he means a lot to me.”

After hearing his mom’s words, she remembered wanting nothing more than to stay by Renjun’s side. She wanted to be there for him, just like he was to her. Even if he never knew about her feelings, she was okay with that.

Ms. Huang thanked her again before she hurriedly left for work. She told her that he was still in bed and his bedroom was on the left side down the hall.

“Renjun?” She knocked before coming into the room. The walls were painted a pale yellow, and there was a window above his desk. His room was neat and simple, like hers.

Renjun lifted his head to see that she had called his name. “(Y/n), what are you doing here?”

She grimaced when she heard him cough. “Your mom just left. I came to drop off your homework and look after you for a bit.”

“Oh…but what if you get sick?” 

She smiled at his show of concern. “I should be fine. I have a strong immune system,” she insisted.

He didn’t seem to be very convinced. But he reluctantly laid back on his pillow. She set her school bag down on his desk chair.

“There are some things I have to prepare,” She said, going toward the door. “Just rest here, and I’ll be back in a bit okay?”

Renjun was too tired to protest, so he patiently waited for her to come back. It wasn’t like there was anything else he could do.

Moments later, she returned with a tray that carried a steaming hot bowl of porridge and a cup of tea. The sick boy peered up with a curious look in his eyes.

“This is some congee I made. It’s good to eat warm things when you have a cold,” she explained as she carefully placed the tray on his nightstand. Leaving the drink, she picked up the bowl to give to him.

Renjun smiled, but there was slight guilt in his eyes. “You didn’t have to do that for me.”

“It’s no big deal,” she said. “I made it the other day when my dad got sick. So I just reheated the leftovers that I had.”

“But still…”

Ignoring his nasally mumbles, she took the spoon and firmly put it in his hands. “You need to eat to get your strength back.”

He accepted the utensil sulkily and weakly took a bite of the food she made. She watched quietly as he ate. His face was paler than usual, and his dark hair was damp from his sickness. She hadn’t imagined a sick Renjun would be so cute. But somehow, she was surprised either way.

She stayed with Renjun the rest of the evening. After helping him take some cold medicine, they moved to the living room and watched some k-dramas on her laptop. Some laughter was exchanged at the funny parts. Occasionally, she heard sniffles at the sadder scenes in the movie. She wasn’t sure if it was Renjun’s symptoms or if he was actually crying. Either way, she pretended she didn’t hear him.

“Gosh, you're burning up,” she said when she placed a hand on his forehead to check his temperature.

She stood up to get a cold wet towel to help him cool down. Sitting back down at the foot of his bed, she leaned over to gently dab the cloth onto his forehead. She could sense Renjun switching from staring at her to glancing over her shoulder. But she pretended not to notice. After a few minutes, she brought her hand down and asked if he felt any better. But he wouldn’t answer.

“Renjun?” He looked back at her and gestured for her hand. He took it and placed her hand over his chest.

“Why do you keep making me feel like this, (Y/n)?” 

His words meshed into the other. But she was still able to understand what he was saying. She stared at him in surprise, unable to find an appropriate response.

Renjun pressed his other hand over his eyes in distress. “All I’ve been thinking about lately is you. I swear it’s driving me crazy.”

From hearing this, she was certain that this was just the fever talking. She didn’t want to give herself false hope.

“Renjun, you…should rest. I don’t think you know what you’re saying.” She tried to pry her hand out of his.

Instead of letting her go, she felt his grip tighten around her wrist. Before she could say anything, her body was pulled down into a position where Renjun was right beneath her. She wasn’t sure if the sudden heat she felt came from Renjun’s fever or from how flustered she was at the moment.

“Huang Renjun, what are you—” She tried to escape, but he held her in place. He brought her closer to where their faces were merely inches apart. His steady eyes marveled over her red cheeks and eventually moved down to her lips.

But before she could make another attempt to move off of him, he pulled her down so their lips could meet.

Her eyes were wide open when she processed what was happening. He had single-handedly taken her first kiss, and she wasn’t sure how to take it at the time.

Little passion was felt in the kiss. But there was so much yearning and desire. When she let go of any resistance and closed her eyes, she felt herself melting into his touch. This… is something that she wasn’t aware she had wanted. I mean, what girl wouldn’t want to be kissed by the boy she liked?

Before the things could go any further, Renjun released his hands off her neck and fell back. He had dozed off in the next second, leaving her to be baffled by the situation.

She couldn’t recall what happened after. All she could remember was waking up the next morning on Renjun’s couch with a dark blue blanket covering her. Slowly, she sat up and saw Renjun exiting a room.

“Oh, you’re awake!” He looked slightly better than he did the other day, but still a little pale. Self-consciously, she straightened her clothes and patted down her hair as he came to sit beside her.

“Wha-what time is it?” She sat up and reached for her phone to look at the clock. 10:15 am.

Renjun chuckled, “It’s a good thing it’s Saturday.”

Warily, she placed her phone back down on the table in front of them. She looked at the boy beside her for a moment, wondering how to bring up the events that occurred the night before. She must’ve fallen asleep late, overthinking everything. If Renjun kissed her, that had to mean he felt something for her, right? Or were his actions from him being delirious?

“Renjun, about yesterday…” She started.

His eyes lit up, “Oh right. I can’t thank you enough for staying and taking care of me. My mom told me to say thank you to her. She and my dad have already left for work.”

“Oh…it was nothing,” she shook her head. “But I’m talking about when you-”

Renjun leaned back on the couch and sighed, “Ugh I hadn’t been that sick in a long time. Honestly, some of the things from yesterday are hazy to me.”

Her eyes blinked in confusion. “Do…do you not remember what happened last night then?”

The boy furrowed his brows as he tried to think back. Seconds later he snapped his fingers. “Oh yeah. The ice towel you used really helped to bring my fever down. I wanted to thank you for that too.”

So he didn’t remember kissing her. Any hopes she had of Renjun might share the same feelings as she dissolved in an instant. Those optimistic feelings were replaced by perplexity and dismay.

Stupid, foolish girl. She was such an idiot to have such thoughts to begin with.

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She remembered the astounded look on Haechan’s face when she glumly told him about what happened. They had met up at a café later that afternoon. 

“He what?!” The boy across from her nearly jumped out of his chair.

She shot him a nervous glare, “Haechan! Can you please just sit back down?”

“Sorry, let me get this straight.” He thankfully did as she asked. “You were taking care of Renjun, and he kissed you. But he doesn’t remember it?”

She dropped her head and nodded gloomily. “What am I supposed to do now?”

“Are you sure he forgot?” Haechan asked.

“I don’t know. If he didn’t, he obviously wants to pretend it never happened,” she said, poking at the straw in her drink. Hearing herself say that only left her feeling more depressed.

Haechan sighed and gave her a look of slight concern. “(Y/n), I really think you should just tell Renjun about your feelings.”

“Haechan…”

“I’m being serious! At this point, you should just go for it,” he sat up in his seat. “What could possibly go wrong other than him saying no?”

She had sworn to herself that she would never confess to Renjun. Even if there was a small chance he might like her in return, she was too scared to risk it. He meant too much to her to lose him because of her selfishness.

“If Renjun rejects me, he’ll feel bad and have a hard time.” Her shoulders faltered. “I don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable because of me.”

Haechan crossed his arms, “But that might never happen. Coming from experience, it’s better to just confess your feelings and be done with it. Things might not go the way you want. But you’ll feel better after.”

“Maybe you’re right,” she fumbled with the paper wrapping from her straw.

Haechan smirked, “Of course, I am. I’m always right.”

“Yeah, and what experience do you have?” She questioned, referring to his prior words. In response, he put a finger to his mouth as a motion for her not to comment further.

“Just trust me, okay?”

She dwelled on what Haechan said for a bit. Honestly, she wasn’t sure how much longer she could go being around Renjun without her heart exploding. Especially after they kissed. How long was she going to let herself live like this?

So for once and all, she followed Haechan’s advice and chose one day to confess. 

She had to show that she wasn’t a coward and be a little braver for once. It was the most determined she had ever been about something. She was finally going to confront her feelings.

At least she thought she was.

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She remembered it was the beginning of autumn when she asked Renjun to meet her at the park one day. Aside from that, she had been trying to get out of the house more often. Things with her parents were still rocky. Being at school and spending time with friends allowed her to stop thinking about it all for a little while.

But that day was different. When she had finally decided to face her fears and just tell Renjun how she felt. She was beyond nervous, unable to keep her legs from shaking as she waited for him to arrive. She had repeated everything she was going to say numerous times the night before. 

Having never confessed to a boy before, she spent the past few nights searching for tips on what she should do. There was one site that said you should dress up for these occasions. So foolishly, she spent almost an hour picking the right outfit and makeup. She hoped Renjun wouldn’t find her being too obvious.

Before she could chicken out, she saw him walking down the street to see her. He was wearing a smile. She didn’t think about it then. But his smile wasn’t bright like the normal ones he showed her. This one was filled with slight apprehension.

“Hey (Y/n),” He came to her with hands in the pockets of his jacket. “What did you want to do today?”

There was no way for her to back out anymore. “Actually Renjun, there’s something I want to tell you.”

“Oh really? I have something to tell you too,” Renjun scratched the back of his head. She was curious as to what he had to say. For a second she forgot about her plan.

They stared at each other awkwardly until Renjun cleared his throat. “You—you can go first if you want.”

“Oh okay.” Tensely, her grip on the strap of her purse tightened. She told herself that she could do this. It was Renjun, after all. Why did she make this so hard for herself?

Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to meet his eyes. “You see, there’s something I’ve been hiding from you.”

Renjun looked at her with slight concern, “Hiding from me? (Y/n), you know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I know, I know. That’s why I’m telling you today because I don’t think I can keep it in anymore,” She said. Here goes nothing, she remembered thinking to herself.

“Renjun, I like—”

“Huang Renjun!” She was stopped by an unfamiliar female voice from behind her. As she started to process her failed attempt to confess, she watched a look of astonishment appear on Renjun’s face. 

She turned to see a girl about their age with short light-brown hair, wearing a yellow sweater over a white skirt. She ran over to embrace the boy in front of her.

For a moment, Renjun seemed to be at a loss for words. Then he slowly hugged her back and a name rolled off his tongue. “Xiaomi?”

She held him closer to her. “Oh, I’ve missed you so much.”

“I—I don’t understand. What are you doing here?” He pulled away. Surprise and bewilderment were still evident in his expression.

Every ounce of glee was pouring from her eyes. “I couldn’t stand us being so far apart. It took me a while, but I convinced my parents to move us here.”

“But…but how?”

“Your father talked with mine and helped him secure a job at the same company,” She replied. “I’ll be going to the same school as you too!”

(Y/n) stood there like a fool. They were speaking in Chinese. But it didn’t take an idiot to understand the situation. She was his first love. The one he told her about. She was here, she had come for him. And (Y/n) was just…there.

Renjun didn’t respond and glanced back at her. Finally, the girl turned to look at her. It turned out that she also knew how to speak Korean. But hers wasn’t nearly as good as Renjun’s.

“Is this a friend of yours?”

Suddenly snapping out of his daze, “Y-yeah. This is Kim (Y/n). (Y/n), this is Xu Xiaomi.”

Swallowing this whole new feeling of heartbreak, (Y/n) forced a smile on her face. “Renjun told me about you.”

Xiaomi beamed, “He did? How sweet.”

She looked back at Renjun and clasped her hands together. “Isn’t this great, Renjun? We can finally be together now!” 

“I think I’ll get going now,” She bowed her head. She didn’t think she could stand to watch any longer. 

Renjun called out to her but she pretended not to hear him. She woke up that day, barely ready for rejection. So many scenarios she had gone through and prepared what to say. But she didn’t expect that to happen. 

Yet, she had no idea that there would be more pain to come.

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She remembered Xiaomi being introduced to their homeroom the next Monday. She kept exchanging glances with Renjun throughout the class. She could hear Haechan, who was a few seats behind her, making gagging noises at the couple.

She hadn’t spoken much to Renjun since that day at the park. She wasn’t sure which was worse, losing the one chance she had to confess to her crush or witnessing him be reunited with his past lover.

“Are you going to eat your tonkatsu?” Haechan pointed his chopsticks to her lunch, snapping her out of her brief daze. 

He was trying to act like everything was normal. But she could tell he was holding back what he truly wanted to say. Although Renjun or Xiaomi wouldn’t have heard him anyway, since they hadn’t arrived at the cafeteria yet.

When he asked, she pushed her tray toward the boy. “Have it all.”

Her appetite had been lost over the past few days. Not only because of Renjun, she just had this mild pain in her head. Maybe her body was finally breaking from all the emotions she had been trying to hide.

Before Haechan could question her, she stood up from her seat. “I’m going to go back to the classroom for a bit. There’s an assignment I want to get ahead on.”

When she approached their classroom, she saw Renjun and Xiaomi through the window. She was near the door, but they couldn’t see her. She didn’t know why she was inclined to stay. She wasn’t there at the beginning of the conversation. But she had heard the rest of it.

“Tell me the truth, Renjun. Who is Kim (Y/n) to you?” Xiaomi asked. She was no longer smiling brightly.

Immediately (Y/n) was alerted when she heard her name. When did she become the subject?

“Xiaomi…”

She frowned at him in dissatisfaction. “I saw the way you looked at her. Do you not love me anymore?”

“What? No!” Renjun denied. He quickly grabbed Xiaomi’s hands and held them.

She wasn’t prepared to hear what he said next. “Honestly, (Y/n) is just a friend of another friend I made here, and we’ve hung out a few times. She…she means nothing to me.”

“Are you sure?” 

He gently lifted her chin and kissed her reassuringly before murmuring. “Yes.”

(Y/n)'s hand reached to cover her mouth, as she started to back away. A sob climbed up her throat. But she was already running before they could hear her. She couldn’t stop thinking about how naive she had been. How stupid she was.

To ever think for even a moment, that she would ever mean something to someone.

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She remembered her dad mentioning that he wanted to move back to Busan. After she had been born out of wedlock, he moved from his hometown to be with her mother in Seoul. Now that the divorce was almost finalized, there was nothing here for him anymore.

At first, she was against the idea. She didn't want to leave her friends and school. But as she thought about it more, she started to think that maybe it was for the best. She didn't think she could ever look at Renjun the same again. Not after he said those things. Yet there was this part of her that still harbored feelings for him. It left her more devastated than anything. Was she really nothing to him?

She was so sick of it all. But before she could leave everything behind, there was something she wanted to do first.

↣ ↢

Haechan was the only person she told that she was moving. She asked him not to tell any of their other friends, especially Renjun.

Surprisingly, Haechan was a lot more understanding than she expected. But he didn't hold back his anger when she told him about what she had heard the other day.

“Damn. That son of a-”

She nearly hit him for swearing. “Lee Haechan! He's still your best friend.”

“I don't care if he is!” Haechan saw the distress in her eyes and sighed. “Okay, I'm sorry. But I still think he was an a**hole to say those things.”

Hating to admit, she kind of had to agree with him. Maybe Renjun wasn't the person she thought he was.

“Thank you, for being there when I needed it,” she said, avoiding eye contact.

The boy waved his hand dismissively, “You're lucky to have such a smart and loyal friend like me.”

Of course, he still maintained that ego of his. But then Haechan placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a sincere look.

“Hang in there, kid,” He said with a proud smile on his face. “I'm sure things will get better for you.”

“We're the same age, Haechan.”

“Shush, don't ruin the moment.”

She shook her head and laughed. Despite everything, it was still nice to know that there was still one person by her side. The past version of her would have never even imagined being friends with someone like Haechan.

But on multiple levels, life had done its best to prove her wrong.

┈◦•◦⟡•◦┈◦•◦⟡•◦┈◦•◦⟡•◦┈◦•◦⟡•◦

At the end of the month, their homeroom teacher had an announcement for the class in the morning. But all Renjun could think about was the empty desk in the back center of the room. (Y/n) hadn't been at school this past week. Multiple attempts he had made to call and text her. But there was no response. It was almost as if she had disappeared all of a sudden.

“I know some of you may be wondering about your classmate that has been missing,” the teacher looked around the students. “I came to tell you that Kim Y/n is no longer a student at this school and has moved away.”

The sound of gasps and murmurs erupted among the class. Renjun shook his head, unable to believe the news. No, it couldn’t be true. Why would she leave without saying anything?

“Where did she move to?” One person asked. Renjun looked at his teacher with hope in his eyes.

But the man shook his head and stepped away from the podium. “I can't disclose that information, for her privacy's sake. That's all I have for today. Get ready for your English class.”

When the teacher left, Renjun turned to find Haechan. He didn't seem the slightest bit surprised by this news. He had to know something.

“Where is (Y/n)?” His friend only responded with a glare.

“Lee Haechan!” Renjun's fingers curled into fists, quick to resort to anger.

Haechan shook his head and brought a light purple envelope from his bag. Without looking at him, he gestured for Renjun to take it. “She asked me to give you this.”

He hesitated before adding, “She should be at the train station. But she doesn't leave until half an hour from now. That's all I'm telling you.”

The envelope crinkled in Renjun's hands. He heard Xiaomi call his name. But he was already out the door, running out of school and catching a taxi. He had to find Y/n. He didn't care about the consequences.

Nothing else was on his mind except for her.

┈◦•◦⟡•◦┈◦•◦⟡•◦┈◦•◦⟡•◦┈◦•◦⟡•◦

Dear Renjun,

A part of me hopes you will never read this. But if you are, that must mean things didn’t work out the way I had planned. And the purpose of this letter has changed from what it was originally supposed to be.

I know in our day and age that letters are old-fashioned. But I still loved the idea of them. I am writing you this letter because I am not brave enough to face you in person. I haven’t been truthful to you about some things. So here I want to clarify them. I hope you don’t mind.

I don’t remember how it exactly happened. But I’ve liked you for some time now. I think it was that day when I saw you helping that lady cross the street. I guess I’m someone who is easily swayed by kindness.

However, I didn’t realize my feelings until the day you learned about my secrets. That was when I knew I couldn’t keep myself from falling anymore. When we used to study together and hang out in the summer, I was the happiest I had ever been. I should thank you for that.

You had gotten out of a serious relationship and I wasn’t looking to date. I thought I was content with just being friends.

Then on the day you were sick, we kissed. Maybe you didn’t remember. Or maybe you didn’t want to. It was probably some mistake to you. Yet for a second, I thought there was a chance you liked me too. But I was very wrong about that, wasn’t I?

I know I mean nothing to you. But to me, you meant everything. You were the first person who knew my secret and comforted me. You made me feel like I didn’t have to hurt alone anymore.

I may not be your first love, Renjun, But you were mine. And I want nothing more than happiness and success in your future. Seriously, do something that makes you happy. Not because of any standards that are put on us, or the pressure that you give yourself. I hope that you can find your dream again and to someday see you shine brighter than anyone else.

Obviously, you don’t have to listen to me. But these were the things I wanted to say to you without any more regrets.

Sincerely, Kim (Y/n)

The letter crumpled in Renjun’s shaky hands. He looked at the taxi driver with desperation. “Ahjeossi, please hurry!” He anxiously sat back in his seat.

So she did hear what he said that day. Why, why did he lie? Why had he been so foolish?

When he finally got to the train station, Renjun sprinted inside only to be crowded by the other people passing by. He tried his best to get through briskly.

“(Y/n)!” He called out as if he was insane. “Kim (Y/n)!”

He could care less about the people who gave him odd stares. His mind was focused on getting to her. He ran to find the public transport timetable. His eyes darted across the board and found the departures.

10:44 BUSAN KTX DELAY: 0 min

He was too late. She was gone, leaving him in his regrets and despair. The boy fell to his knees as tears streamed down his face.

“Please…please come back, (Y/n),” Renjun cried, “Don’t go, I’m sorry. This is all my fault.”

He knew that she couldn’t hear him. Every word that came out of his mouth was futile. She could not see him right now. But if she did, she would’ve run back to embrace him and tell him not to cry.

All he could do was bang his fists on the ground, pathetically. “(Y/n), I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me.”

He said this, even though she was never his and he was never hers. This pain was worse than when Xiaomi had broken up with him. He didn’t think he would ever be able to move on from it. There were so many words that he wanted to say to her. Words that he should’ve said to her before. Most importantly,

“I love you.”

┈◦•◦⟡•◦┈◦•◦⟡•◦┈◦•◦⟡•◦┈◦•◦⟡•◦

{ five years later }

Here she was again, standing before him after not seeing each other since the eleventh grade. But she wasn’t alone.

“Hey, everyone. It's been a while,” she still seemed shy, but more reassured.

That was when his eyes found the person holding her hand. He was tall, handsome with jet black hair and a face that could charm anyone. If Renjun saw him in any other setting, he would have assumed he was some playboy. But in this case, the guy was looking at Y/n with tenderness in his eyes. Anyone would be able to tell he was completely enamored with her from just one glance.

Coincidentally, she met Renjun's eyes when she introduced the person next to her. “This is Na Jaemin—my boyfriend.”

“Wah, he's so handsome!” Her friends were awed as if he wasn't standing right there.”You found yourself a good one, Y/n!”

All Renjun could do was sit back and listen to the others asking how the two met and how long they'd been dating. He thought he should feel angry or betrayed. But for some reason, he didn't feel those things.

“Renjun, you should sing something for us,” Haechan said later in the night. He gestured to the small stage near the back.

“I don't know, guys…”

“Oh come on,” one classmate begged. “Just one song?”

Eventually, Renjun gave in knowing it was the only way for them to stop asking. In the next few seconds, the singer found himself getting out of his seat and getting up on stage. He adjusted the microphone stand and connected his phone to the speaker.

Tightening his grip as the music started to play, inadvertently they made eye contact again. At just one glance, so many emotions swelled in his heart. Without her, he would've ignored his passion and moved on to live a meaningless life. But thanks to (Y/n), he was able to find his dream again and go after it.

Never would he forget how he hurt her with his foolish words. The song he was about to sing was chosen especially for her.

“Why do I get sulky so easily? Am I this pathetic because of my small heart?” He started to sing, tightly gripping onto the mic stand. “Don’t go, I know I was a bit too much. Can you forgive me for being regretful again?”

As a professional, Renjun did his best to keep his voice stable, but it wasn’t easy. This song was written for her. He didn't know if she had heard it before. But he hoped it could convey the feelings he wasn't able to before.

Kim (Y/n), who he loved. Kim (Y/n), who he had hurt and brought him so much regret.

The same heartache he was feeling earlier returned as he sang the chorus, “Tell me, why I let you down? Any chance I get I'm breaking down.”

“I know it's my fault, but why is it so hard? To tell you that I'm sorry, heart.” His gaze remained fixed on her as the lyrics gracefully flowed from his lips.

There was loud applause when Renjun finished the song. But he couldn't enjoy it. He just wanted to see her reaction. She was smiling at him with tears glistening in her eyes. That was all the approval Renjun needed.

When the event was over, he went outside in hopes to talk to her. His feet stopped moving when he found her standing under a large tree nearby. She was talking to Jaemin, who had his back toward him. She laughed at something he said.

Then a few moments later, the man took a small box out of his jacket pocket. Renjun watched as her eyes lit up in the utmost surprise. Renjun couldn't hear the conversation. But he was there when she mouthed the word “yes” and to see them warmly hug each other after.

Still, in her partner's embrace, she met Renjun's gaze once more. He knew that she was content by the way she smiled at him.

And he couldn't help but smile back. Was he envious? Of course, he was. He would do almost anything to be in that man’s place. However, nothing could be done or changed.

He was happy for her because she was happy. No words could be exchanged. But none needed to be said. Their story had ended a long time ago.

They were living in reality, not some cliché world where everyone got their happy ending. 

Where having a first love didn't necessarily guarantee they would be their last. But that didn't mean finding happiness was not achievable.

𓆩⟡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩⟡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩⟡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩⟡𓆪༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩⟡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩⟡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩⟡𓆪

[justwritedreams]

If I were you | Jaemin

Jaemin x reader, enemies to lovers!au, high school!au

Word count:9816 (less than I had said in the preview.) Genre: fluff, crack, slow burn. Author: maari Warnings: me trying to be funny, Jaemin being funny and reader being moody, language, awkward situations, second hand embarrassment. Note: I think it would be good to warn that while the two are switched they will be mentioned by the "soul" and not the body they are in. So Jaemin still be Jaemin while he's in reader's body and vice versa. Summary: You and Jaemin have hated each other since forever. You hate him for always being the carefree, funny guy even at the most unnecessary times. He hates you for being so straight and serious that you don't do anything fun in life. The only common wish between you is that you could understand what it's like to live like this. And maybe you should be careful what you wish for.

⪢ NCT Masterlist

That was the worst day for Y/N to rest which she hadn't done during the week. It wasn't common for her to stay in bed until 9 am, but she thought it best to make that exception mainly because she needed to be 100% for exams next week, but apparently it wouldn't be easy. And all because of the neighbor, Na Jaemin and his noisy friends. She didn't hate his friends, to be honest she had a good relationship with them, she even helped Chenle study sociology since he was terrible at it. But the same couldn’t be said about the neighbor, in fact it was quite the opposite. Y/N and Jaemin hated each other. Since always. Neighbors since birth, the mothers were even best friends. While Y/N still held a grudge that Jaemin made her fall off her bike when she was still learning, earning her a scar on her knee that would never make her forget that if he hadn't walked in front of her with the Na family's dog she wouldn't have turned the handlebars hard and lost balance. Jaemin thought she was too serious, she never went out to play with him when they were little and whenever the family went to his house for dinner, she always had a pout. Boring, as he always called her. As they grew up, the hatred grew. Y/N was the perfect class, always with good grades and disciplined. She has never been involved in controversy within the school. Jaemin, although he was liked by the teachers because of his cheerful personality, took some scolding for talking in the classroom or for simply cheating on tests without even disguising it. The only thing they had in common was volunteer work, and it was probably the only time they spent close to each other, other than dinners between their families.

Knowing she wouldn't do any good to put the pillow over her face to drown out the laughter and screams from the house next door, Y/N got up to brush her teeth and have breakfast, followed by her dog Neo. After that, she took the opportunity to go for a walk with Neo, as she knew he wouldn't settle down until she did and because the day was sunny, asking for a good walk. She took Neo for a walk around the neighborhood and when she could feel her body complaining, she walked back to the house. Y/N was walking on the sidewalk of the Na family's house when she saw Jaemin's friends running and laughing while he played with the hose on, he made a funny face and changed the hose direction, causing the water to go straight into the Y/N's face hard, she staggered and the dog started barking as it got caught in the water too. She didn't even have time to blink, feeling her eyes sting when the water came towards her, she even swallowed some water and felt her body burn with hate. “Na Jaemin!” screamed, birds flew away as her voice echoed through the neighborhood, she grabbed Neo in her lap and stepped onto the grass of the property, going to the boy who continued to wet himself and his friends. And his neighbor, who was frothing with rage. “Hey, don't step on the grass. There's a sign up front, are you blind?” he asked, lowering the hose and the friends stopped where they were seeing the scene. Not that it was abnormal, but Y/N was visibly angry and it wasn't like they were going to intrude. "You’re the blind here, look what you've done, you idiot." she lifted the dog to show its state and pointed at herself. Y/N was soaked from head to toe, her plain white T-shirt was see through and her hair was all over her face. She looked like Samara from The Ring, Jaemin thought. "It wasn’t on purpose." he complained and she huffed. It was always the same answer. It was never on purpose. "You gave Neo and me a cold shower." Jaemin frowned. “Who’s Neo?” he moved his hands and the hose, still on, poured water into the Y/N again. She grunted in anger and was the cue for Jaemin's friends to come closer, as she could jump on his neck. And that had happened before. “Okay, enough playing with the water.” Renjun spoke, taking the hose from Jaemin's hand. Jeno approached and wanted to laugh but was afraid of getting slapped by Y/N, Mark went to her side along with Haechan. "I should make you give my dog ​​a real bath." she replied, feeling Mark's hand caress her shoulder, asking her to calm down. “Who names a dog by Neo?” Jaemin asked Jeno which he shrugged, biting his tongue to keep from laughing. Not because of the question, but because the scene was really funny. “Who likes Matrix, bastard!” “Alright, Y/N, calm down. Jaemin didn’t do it on purpose.” Haechan spoke up, seeing the vein in her neck pop as she glared at his friend. "If you want, I'll bathe Neo." Y/N took a deep breath and looked at Jaemin's friend, he had an apologetic expression and that made her give in. She liked Jaemin's friends, everyone, even little Jisung who now looked scared. And she wasn't even the quarrelsome type, not on the street, but the neighbor got on her nerves that sometimes she couldn't even control herself. “No, Haechan, you don't have to. I appreciate it anyway.” she smiled slightly at him and turned back to face Jaemin who was smiling. That same stupid little smile of amusement that he carried every day and that irritated her to the core. "If I were you, I would sleep with my eyes open." she motioned with her fingers and strode out of there, listening to his laughter and Jeno asking “Do you want to die?”. If he kept teasing her, it was sure to happen. [...] A week had passed since the incident. Jaemin was worried because Y/N still hadn't gotten revenge and that was weird because the fun of this whole hate relationship between them was that. She always had a comeback. Like when Jaemin accidentally told Lucas that Y/N had a crush on him, he wanted to help the neighbor to be less annoying so he thought it would help after hearing her talk to her friends. It didn't work out, of course, so Y/N spread the word to the entire school that Jaemin had wet his bed until he was 14 years old. Or when she gave Jaemin strawberry yogurt without him noticing while trying to hit on her best friend at lunch, she'd never seen him run so fast to the bathroom. Jaemin retaliated by sending an email posing as Y/N's favorite singer with a link to a picture of a horror movie monster, as she was afraid, he heard her scream inside his own house. He even thought that she would be the mature one of the two and would forget, until he remembered that this Friday his family and Y/N's family would go out to dinner as usual. And he'd already prepared his repertoire of pranks in case she somehow tried to fight back for the bath he'd accidentally given her. Chenle and Renjun had warned him to be careful, teasing Y/N until she reached the limit was stupid. But he completely ignored it, even though the times he felt Y/N looking at him might have left him with some trepidation, he didn't really care. Cold water was good to cool her hot head. But on one thing they had to agree, dinner between the two families was a complete bore for both of them. Although Jaemin's parents were nice, Y/N having to stare at their son all night while she ate was just too much. And Jaemin even liked Y/N's parents, they were better than their daughter, but just losing Friday there, sitting in front of her, took the joy out of even him. The parents chatted excitedly while the two stared at each other with boredom and hatred. Jaemin took the opportunity to stretch his legs while going to the bathroom, dessert hadn't arrived yet so he could breathe a little and stop staring at Y/N's sulky face. She thanked as he left the table, her mood shifting like it was an automatic key and everything was going well. Well too much. Practically perfect. However, when Jaemin was returning, a girl passed by his side smiling shyly and the boy smiled widely as he turned his neck to face her, he didn’t see the waiter who passed in front of him and ended up bumping into the same one and without being able to balance the glasses on the tray, dropped them on top of Y/N. She felt the icy liquid splash onto her dress and just lifted her hands up as her mouth opened without a sound, her white dress smearing the instant the wine spilled over her. The entire restaurant stopped and stared at her. “Oops.” Jaemin spoke quietly seeing the damage he had done. Now he was dead. Y/N would kill him without any mercy. She would have done it, mainly because she heard him talking and turned around to prove that it was his fault, but she couldn't as her parents and Jaemin's plus the waiter approached her asking numerous questions, the poor waiter was so apologetic that he was already kneeling beside the girl. "I am fine!" she spoke a little louder and stood up, the liquid dripping down her legs and she was feeling squishy and too sweet. "I'll clean in the bathroom." she warned and left, passing by Jaemin and shooting him with her eyes. He chuckled sheepishly at what they watched and saw his mother nod for him to follow the girl, he took a deep breath and his shoulders sagged as he made his way to hell. He went after Y/N but stopped when she closed the bathroom door in his face. It wasn't like he was going to go into the ladies room either! Jaemin waited, leaning against the wall and with his arms crossed and almost lost his balance when Y/N rushed out like a bulk. He was still polite so he did what his conscience told him to do, held her by the arm preventing her from continuing, wanted to laugh at her angry face. The childish beak was even funny. "Don't touch me." she warned, slamming her hand against Jaemin's chest, forcing him to let go. He did, taking a deep breath. At least she was still there to listen to him. "Hey, calm down, I came to help." Y/N laughed in disbelief. "Don't you think you've helped enough?" she pointed to her own stained clothes, she smelled of wine and it was bothering her nose. Too sweet. Jaemin even liked the new look, the white dress was so dull. It needed something more colorful. "Sorry, it wasn't-" "On purpose, I know, Na Jaemin. It's what you've been saying for the last 10 years!" "It sounds like you've been counting the times I've said that." he shrugged, seeing her roll her eyes. "Believe me, I've already lost count." she admitted, watching him twist his lips and keep them in a thin line. "What do you want me to say, honestly." "I don't want anything from you!" she spoke louder, that conversation was taking too long. "Well, actually, I do want you to start realizing that you're unbearable." Jaemin wasn't the type who liked to fight but it wasn't like he was going to silently listen to her insults. "It will be the same day you realize you're boring and sullen." he retorted in the same tone. They held pure hatred in their eyes, Jaemin felt his body fever while Y/N shook with rage. "I hate you!" They spoke together in sync and were startled when the light went on and off a few times. "No, I hate you." they looked at each other suspiciously. "Stop repeating what I say." spoke together once more. "Jaemin!" "Y/N!" They were silent, not understanding what had happened. They had never been on the same sync, not even in volunteer work. "If I were you, I'd wipe that insolent little smile off your face." she spoke and he widened his smile even more. "Oh and if I were you, I'd try to be less serious, Miss Adult." Y/N laughed. "You wouldn't last two days on my skin, you idiot." "And you wouldn't last five minutes on mine." That sounded like a challenge, if they could live in each other's skin, they would do so many different things, but it wasn't like it was possible. That's what they thought. [...] Y/N woke up to the sound of the alarm clock and opened her eyes a little to turn it off, she hadn't remembered to put it on on Saturday. But she headed for the bathroom without checking the time, she would brush her teeth and take Neo for a walk as usual. She slammed her body into the wall and chased the door, still cursing in her head, the alarm clock always knocking her out of her mind in the morning. She stretched as she walked into the bathroom and turned on the light, squinting at the light and opening them wide, staring at her own reflection. But that wasn’t her reflection. Not because her hair was messy from moving through the night. But that wasn't her face, it was Jaemin's! Y/N rubbed her eyes once, twice, three times to make sure she was really awake but Jaemin's scared face was still reflected in the mirror. She looked at her own body and realized it wasn't her body either, looked at the bathroom and didn't recognize it. It was very different from hers. She took her hand to pinch her arm, to conclude that this wasn't a dream, the pain she felt was real. "What the…" The husky, masculine voice wasn't hers either. "...Fuck is that." next door, Jaemin wondered the same thing. He thought it was strange to have been woken up by Y/N's dog licking his arm thrown out of bed, he had never dreamed about the animal but he imagined that due to recent events, maybe the subconscious had this Neo hidden deep inside. But when he felt a hair longer than usual and saw that this room wasn't his, he ran to the bathroom in search of an answer. To come across the figure of Y/N in the mirror, staring with wide eyes. The body wasn't his, that high, feminine voice wasn't his. It could be a dream, it must be a dream. So he patted his face, wanting to wake up, but nothing changed. He was still there in a pair of pajamas he hadn't picked out the night before. The night before… Had it been that little incident? Jaemin jumped with fright when he heard the doorbell and ran out feeling embarrassed to be in a house that wasn't his, at least he didn't bump into Y / N's parents and opened the door strangely looking at the small hands. But he was even more surprised when his own body was standing there. "Give me back my body!" Y/N spoke and entered the house without asking permission, in a hurry. Jaemin hadn't realized that his figure was so intimidating compared to Y/N's. But she was the one who had dominion over his body so everything got even scarier. "Give mine back!" he complained, bringing his hands up as if in surrender. "What did you do?" she asked, accusingly. "Why would I do anything?" he returned the question and Y/N snorted. He hadn't realized until then how irritating his face was doing this. "Because it's just like you to do that kind of thing to provoke me." Jaemin looked at her offended. "Do I look like a wizard by any chance?" he raised his arms seeing her take a deep breath, ready to respond as he continued. "All I remember is going to sleep last night in the pajamas you're wearing now. And waking up like this." The mere mention made Y/N take a step back. Last night. "Do you think it has anything to do with yesterday? When the restaurant lights got kind of fuzzy." And when we were in perfect and weird sync, she thought. Jaemin shrugged, he had no idea what had happened. Of what was happening. “I want my body back!” she complained. “And I want mine too or do you think I want to be stuck in your bullshit for the rest of my life?” "My bullshit?" she raised her voice and took a step forward. They looked at each other for a while, heads were spinning and it was all very confusing. They looked at themselves with eyes other than their own. "My God, this is so…" she started and gestured with her hands. "Bizarre." He concluded, seeing her agree. They went to the couch and sat next to each other, completely embarrassed and feeling weird. They were so stunned that they didn't even notice Neo's presence in the room. "Oh, what the hell." Jaemin complained as he felt something wet on his foot and looked down to see the dog sit in front of him. "You must be kidding." Y/N complained as she saw her own dog ignore her presence. Well, it wasn't the dog’s fault. He was close to the owner's body. "We have to find a way to undo this." She spoke, pointing at the two of them and Jaemin nodded frantically. He liked dogs and Y/N's was cute but he didn't want to stay in her body forever. And she thought the same thing. "Who left… Ah, hi daughter." They heard Y/N's mother enter and turned to face her, she was smiling and stopped when she saw Jaemin sitting next to Y/N. This was unusual. "How are you, Jaemin?" "Good." He replied seeing the older one frown. "Daughter, I spoke to Jaemin." "What?" he looked at Y/N who raised her eyebrows. "Oh yes, I I'm fine, ma'am. Thank you." Y/N replied gesturing with her hands and the mother nodded, out of sight of the two. "Seriously, did I just tell my mother ma'am?" she asked quietly and Jaemin rubbed his face, surprising the fact that the hands are small. He would never get used to it. "We really have to fix this!" After having to deal with Y/N's father pretending to be her, Jaemin and Y/N stood outside the house and talked about this body swap, they couldn't name it any other way. The two agreed that the night before had something to do with it, they didn't know if it was because of the light spike, the wine or the restaurant. But they agreed to go back there to try to make the switch, they needed to undo that. "Oh my God, school!" Y/N spoke desperately, running a hand through the hair. It was so strange to feel the wind on the back of her neck thanks to the low cut of Jaemin's hair. He complained when he heard that. Things seemed to get worse each time they enumerated. "What the hell, how are we going to do it? We can't show up like that, people will notice." Y/N agreed, mainly because Jaemin was a great gym student and she was afraid when the ball got close. Then she thought about the possibility of simply missing it, for the first time in her life, but they didn't know how long they would stay like that. What if it lasted all year? She would fail her final year of school! "I don't think we have a choice, until we get this sorted out, we have to act like this isn't happening." "What if we tell someone?" Jaemin watched as she eyed him suspiciously. "We can seek help!" "You’re crazy?" She asked aloud and looked around as if checking to see if anyone had heard. "Who's going to believe that, Jaemin? At least they'll say we're drunk." "But you don't drink." he replied and she was quiet for a moment. That was true, but she didn't know he knew it. "Your mother is a psychologist." he remembered and Y/N looked at him completely desperate. "No, please don't tell my mom. You don't know her, she's going to come up with a rant that this is just psychological, that this isn't physically happening because we hate each other and we have a kind of bond." Y/N shook her head. "Don't talk to my mom about this." she asked in such a gentle tone that Jaemin was surprised. "Alright." he agreed until he remembered a certain group that would love this kind of news. "My friends. My God, Haechan will notice right away!" Oh crap, they could handle each other's parents but not Haechan. He was too smart to notice that anything was off. "Jaemin, we have no other way, we're going to have to fake it really well. We'd better spend the weekend getting to know each other better." "Maybe by Monday we'll be back in our bodies." He saw that Y/N was frowning and looking down. "What's it?" "I'm feeling a little uncomfortable." She gestured at her hip and pressed her legs together. "I think you want to go to the bathroom." Jaemin explained and watched her open and close her mouth, without a sound coming out. "I won't touch your…your…" she pointed down, unable to put it into words. Jaemin laughed nervously, the scene would be funny if it weren't for the circumstances. "You'll end up doing it in your pants." Y/N got up from the floor after sighing and pulled Jaemin by the wrist. "You help me." she decreed and they entered Y/N's house, quickly going up to her room before her parents saw it. They went to the bathroom and Y/N closed the door just in case, her mother had a habit of entering without knocking and could jump to conclusions. "Okay, you do it." she said, looking at him seriously. "Do you want me to touch it with your hands and see it with your eyes?" he questioned, he really wanted to laugh. "I'm confident with my body but you're fussy." "I'm not going to look at your mini Jaemin." she complained and squeezed her legs again, the urge was starting to get uncontrollable. "He's not that mini, you'll see." he smiled proudly and Y/N looked at him with a less than encouraging face. "I didn't know that smile of mine was so unbearable." Jaemin shrugged as if he said I told you. He saw her take a deep breath and open the bathroom cabinet, pull out a pair of disposable gloves and put them on. "What are you doing?" he laughed this time. "I'm going to pee but I'm not going to put my hands on your thing." He raised his eyebrows and she rolled her eyes. "Okay, your hands. Come on, tell me how it is." Jaemin looked interested but directed Y/N as he was supposed to, chuckling at the disgusted face she made but then some relief. He thought it was funny that she closed one eye, as if she didn't want to see the scene. It didn't take that long but for Y/N it was torture, the first time she had contact with that part of the male body and it wasn't the way she dreamed. Great. She took off her gloves when she was done and threw them in the trash, washing her hands afterwards. Actually rubbing like if she had contact with a contagious disease. "Why do you have gloves in your bathroom?" he asked, curious. "To dye my hair and not stain what I touch." explained as she dried the hands. "We have a little problem, Jaemin." "Another?" "How are we going to shower like this?" Jaemin leaned his head back, running his hands over his face. He hadn't even given them 24 hours and they were already exhausted from that exchange. "Together?" He suggested. "Are you going to have to see me naked?!" her eyes widened, her voice getting thinner. "Usually you shower like that." he replied sarcastically. Y/N took a deep breath, feeling her head hurt even more. And she thought that peeing on Jaemin's body would be the only challenge. [...]

Jaemin was wrong. Monday they still had their bodies switched, further worsening the mood of the two when waking up to go to school. On Sunday, surprisingly for their parents, they spent the day together talking and discovering certain things that their routine hatred didn’t allow. As agreed, they showered together but with bathing suits and not naked as Jaemin believed, and deep down he even wanted to. The intimacy between them wasn't strong enough for that. They exchanged numbers to talk, they wouldn't be able to change phones or else they would draw attention more than they should. But it was strange and confusing to sleep in another house with different parents, even if they were neighbors. Two days felt like two years. They didn't know how long they would stay like that but they hoped it would be for just a few days, Y/N secretly prayed at night that it would end soon and promised not to be so annoying to Jaemin anymore if she returned to her body.

They exchanged messages early in the morning, Y/N went out with Jaemin's father who was surprised that his son got up so early to go to school. Jaemin, on the other hand, even putting the alarm on, was woken up by Y/N's mother exactly as his mother did every day, only in a more affectionate way and not yelling in his ear if you don't get up, you're going to be stupid. But he remembered that he was in the girl's body so everyone would treat him politely. Y/N waited in the courtyard and some people looked strange, of course it wasn't every day that Na Jaemin arrived practically opening the school gates. She was getting apprehensive as she stamped her foot and felt her heart go into her mouth when Jaemin's friends arrived, heading towards her, looked around looking for him but nothing. Unlike what they had agreed, she would have to deal with them alone. As they walked over to her, she texted her number asking where he was and blocked the phone when the guys were closer. Haechan was the first to appear in front of her and walked over excitedly ready to do the super unique handshake, which Y/N ​​hadn't been able to memorize yet so just held up her hand for him to touch. “Are you in a bad mood today?” he asked, after patting his hand without animation. "Yeah, it’s monday." Y/N replied quietly, crossing her arms so they wouldn't notice her hands were shaking. "Did something happen?" Jeno asked worriedly. “Did you get scolded by your mother again?” Chenle guessed and Y/N raised her head. "Yeah! I'm always late and you know it annoys her.” Y/N rolled her eyes like she knew Jaemin probably would. The friends laughed. “If you went to sleep instead of playing games on the computer, you would be able to wake up on time.” Renjun smirked and Y/N made a noise with her mouth. Of course, Jaemin was that kind of boy. She wasn't even surprised. “Is that why you arrived early?” Haechan questioned and looked at her suspiciously, Y/N had to control the scared face. Had he already noticed? "That's it" she replied too quickly, seeing Haechan raise his eyebrow. The bell rang and she was grateful that she was saved at the right time. “Come on, my first class is math.” Chenle complained and they started walking into the building. However, when they saw Y/N's body running awkwardly and late, they stopped where they were, Jaemin stared at Y/N out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't stop to talk to her or they would raise more suspicions. She's never been late in her entire life and on the first day of school they're body-swapped, Jaemin manages to do what she's never done before. "Okay, that was weird." Mark spoke, looking at his friends. “Have you guys seen Y/N be late before?” The real Y/N, trapped in Jaemin's body, swallowed hard. "See Jaemin, you're not the only one changing routines today." Haechan rested his arm on her shoulder and smiled widely. He even looked like he knew something. Y/N grimaced but remained silent, afraid to say something even more suspicious, and went to the living room. The end of the day would come and they wouldn't be able to fool anyone.

Jaemin was having the worst day of his life and it wasn't lunch time yet. It was the first time he didn't hear a scolding for waking up late, even because Y/ N's mother was too kind to fight with "her own daughter", but on the other hand the school was already doing the job of leaving him with headache. Y/N was a great student, no, she was top of the class. Always attentive, she always got the best grades and everyone admired her for knowing the answers to the teachers' questions. But it wouldn't be like that while Jaemin was trapped in her body. He didn't want to raise rumors but as soon as the teacher asked him something about Sociology, figuring that Y/N would answer in the most intelligent and normal way possible, he just shrugged and let the teacher ask someone else. He hated Sociology. He ignored the conversations of colleagues, which wasn’t at all discreet. Y/N could have a day when she didn't feel up to answering everything the teachers said, right? However, his bad mood improved a little at the end of classes when he realized that the next one would be Physical Education. He even thought the teacher's face was funny when he raised his hand to join the soccer class, apparently Y/N wasn't very athletic. It was the only time of day that he felt a little less himself, even though he was trapped in Y/N's body and didn't know what to do, the class had at least helped him distract himself a little. As soon as class was over, Jaemin went to the locker room to change his clothes, as agreed with Y/N ​​they would only shower once they were home, even though he had assured her that he took quick showers and that he wouldn't see anything. He almost went into the wrong locker room, until he bumped into some boys who looked at him in a strange way, it was then that he remembered that he was trapped in Y/N's body. Making him walk to the women's locker room unwillingly. "I don't believe!" Jaemin heard the female voices but completely ignored them as he changed his clothes. “I know, Mina told me. They said that Jaemin is so down today that he barely trained in physical education class.” Oops, wait a minute. That was in his interest. Jaemin kept his back turned, but now he was paying attention to the other people's conversation. "Looks like he's focused on school, I don't even know if he's going to Hansol's party this week." What? Jaemin focused on school since when? "Then half the girls will miss the opportunity to keep him company." He smiled proudly. He wasn't cocky, but he knew he was a bit of a hit with the girls at school. But wait, the focus wasn't that but what Y/N was doing with his body around at school. So as soon as he finished changing, he left quickly to meet Y/N but he didn't have to go far, he was pulled hard into the empty laboratory by the one he was looking for the most. “What subtlety, huh.” he replied as he straightened the position, he had almost fallen on his face as Y/N pulled him by the arm. “What is this story that you refused to answer questions in my classes?” she asked, placing her hands on her hips. "I didn't refuse." he explained calmly, seeing her raise the eyebrow. His eyebrow. "I just didn't know the answers so I kindly shut up." “Is that your concept of being discreet? You ruining my reputation on day one, isn't enough you being late? “Look who's talking, you didn't even train in my physical education class, I already know. How did you manage to trick Jeno, by the way?” he asked, he and his friend were inseparable in class. "I said I hurt my knee yesterday and I couldn’t." Jaemin was silent. That was actually a great excuse. "This isn't going to work Y/N, we're going to have to go back to that restaurant today and make the switch." he warned and saw that she agreed. “Great, because I can’t stand to pee like this anymore!” [...] After school hours, the two decided to head straight to the restaurant before heading home. The path was a little tense, none of them knew what to really say about that mess that until then had no specific reason. But when they arrived at the scene, they decided to repeat the same thing on the night of the disaster. Well, except for the part where Jaemin hits the wine on Y/N's dress. He thought it best to eat, not least because they had skipped lunch at school, and as soon as they were done, they headed towards the restrooms. To not confuse the cosmos, as he had said. “Okay, now what?” Y/N asked. They were standing in the hallway, not knowing what to do. “I think we curse each other in sync and everything goes back to normal?” he suggested. The two were in an awkward silence for a while, not remembering how they had done it and if they could do it again. “Okay, I hate you!” she spoke and found it strange that for the first time those words seemed forced. "That's good because it's mutual." he replied and grimaced. That was as fake as his grades. "Weren't we closer that night?" "We were?" she asked but couldn't remember. "I think I was holding your arm." Jaemin approached while talking being watched closely by Y/N. "But then I have to hold my arm, I mean yours since I'm in your body?" she asked and he looked around confused. “Yeah, I think so.” he nodded and Y/N came over to hold Jaemin's arm, or hers for that matter, in a way so soft he didn't even feel it. “Squeeze tight, Y/N, your body is small but I can take it.” She nodded and put on a little more strength, oddly enough she didn't want to hurt him. Hurt him and not her. "And now?" “We were staring at each other while swearing at each other, right?” as much as she tried to strain her mind, she couldn't remember the details. Y/N nodded, not quite sure and the two looked at each other firmly and intensely. A shiver passed through both bodies, leaving them both completely confused. Although they were theoretically looking at themselves, they didn't stop feeling the same weird feeling in their stomach, even though it was their own eyes. Y/N seemed to see right through them, as if they somehow managed to find Jaemin there. As for him, he could see Y/N's fragility and innocence in his own tall figure. It was almost as if they actually found their souls attached to their bodies. Bizarre but that didn't make them look away. "Oh sorry." the two walked away when they heard a voice at the back of the corridor, faced the lady who was smiling slightly leaning against the door. "I didn't mean to get in the way." Y/N and Jaemin looked at each other quickly, embarrassed and kept far enough away. “We’re the ones who apologize.” Jaemin spoke and lowered his head. Y/N noticed the lady and saw that she was wearing the restaurant uniform. “Don't worry, this is more common in my restaurant than you might think.” the lady started to walk away and Y/N patted Jaemin's arm lightly, pointing at her. If she owned the restaurant, then she'd know what to do, right? “Oh, excuse me, are you the owner?” Jaemin asked, causing the lady to stop where she was and nod her head. Y/N and Jaemin exchanged one more look before stepping forward. "Well, then maybe you can help us." Y/N spoke hopefully. “We came here on Friday and something strange happened.” "We fought." Jaemin continued, glancing at Y/N. “And the restaurant got a little weird, when we got home and woke up the next day we switched bodies.” Y/N looked at him shocked, didn't think he was going to say so directly what was going on between them. “Oh, I already understand everything.” the lady replied and the two looked at her expectantly. "You two feel something so strong for each other that you don't know what that feeling is yet, you need to put yourself in each other's shoes in order to understand." Y/N looked at her confused, not sure if she had even heard that and Jaemin was frowning. “Actually…” Y/N started. “You didn't understand.” Jaemin laughed in desperation. “We literally switched bodies.” Jaemin pointed at him and Y/N nonstop. "She is me. And I am her. You see?" Unlike what the two imagined, the lady just smiled. "Like I said, you need to put yourself in each other's shoes to understand." she explained and left them both with their mouths open waiting for more. Y/N and Jaemin just watched the woman walk away, completely confused. The two looked at each other and mirrored the same reaction, shrugging their shoulders. “I think it was a waste of time for us to come here.” Jaemin spoke and saw Y/N agree. "Let's go before I go crazy." she replied and made her way back. Jaemin was so busy thinking about how he would solve it, and he even had an idea in mind that he wouldn't tell Y/N, that he only noticed that there was something strange when Y/N turned around and cursed. "Shit!” "What's it?" he asked and saw her scratch the back of her head. “What are your friends doing here?” she whispered as if they could hear and Jaemin looked around the restaurant until he found it. He tried to control the expression of despair. He would like to ask the same question. Jisung was the first to see the two and waved with a wide smile on his face, catching the attention of the others, who turned to face Jaemin and Y/N. “Smile, pretend everything is okay.” Jaemin spoke quietly as the two approached the table, a fake smile on his face. "It's just not alright." Y/N grinned back, forced. "We're screwed." "What are you doing here?" Chenle asked as they got closer. “We…” Jaemin started. “We came to talk. Peacefully.” Y/N concluded, seeing that he didn't know what to say. "That's it, to put an end to this ridiculous fight for good." Jaemin added, nodding his head nonstop and received mixed reactions from his friends. Mark and Renjun were surprised, Chenle and Jisung wanted to laugh not knowing if they believed it, Jeno seemed relieved to believe it and Haechan had his eyebrow raised, almost as if he knew it was a lie. Maybe because he was the only one who saw that Jaemin, or in this case Y/N, was sweating. “And you did?” he asked, both of them staring at him in surprise. "You can say that." Y/N looked accomplice at Jaemin who shrugged. "Then why don't you sit with us?" Mark suggested and they both gulped. Jaemin looked at Y/N for help, desperate, and she took the opportunity to put her hands on his shoulder. "Actually, Y/N said there's a lot to study, right?" Y/N asked Jaemin and grimaced for him to agree. “Yes, I have to go on with my role of antisocial nerd.” Jaemin joked, drawing a few chuckles from the table and an eye blast from Y/N herself. "See you later guys." he said goodbye to his friends, feeling a strange sensation and looked at Y/N. Jaemin was about to wish her luck, because she was going to need it, but he decided to just smirk. She would have a long afternoon. He moved away and Y/N's arms dropped to her sides as she watched her own body slip away, something she wanted to do but wasn't in Jaemin's shoes. She just wanted to go back to being herself. Y/N sighed and looked back at the table, realizing that all eyes were analyzing her. She took back what she'd said, she was screwed.

[...]

Y/N was fighting the urge to let out a scream of desperation. During the time she spent with the boys at the restaurant, she was quiet. She remembered the few times she'd seen Jaemin and his friends together, but he'd always been the most reserved of them all. And he himself had said he wasn't one to talk so much, not like Haechan, for example, on Sunday. But when they suggested, actually only warned, that they would spend the rest of the day at Jaemin's, she wanted to freak out. But she couldn't find a good excuse so she accepted it because it was very common for them to do that.

"I swear the summer in this town is getting hotter and hotter." Jeno spoke as soon as they arrived at Jaemin's house, Y/N was too busy trying to make a sign to her bedroom window in her own house, hoping that Jaemin would see and she ended up bumping into Jeno's back. Jeno's bare back. Wait, when did he take his shirt off? And why was Mark doing the same thing as Jeno? She stood there watching them climb the stairs familiar with the place and she only noticed that she had to do the same when Chenle beckoned her with his hand, laughing at something Renjun had said. She followed Jaemin's friends but with a slight hint of desperation. Would she be locked in all afternoon with 6 guys, two of them shirtless, and would she get to know the mysterious male world? By the time she got to Jaemin's room, the guys had settled in better than she had in the last few days, and she leaned her body against the closed door. Jaemin used to close the door when his friends were at his house? She didn't know, they hadn't talked about these insignificant details. “Jaemin.” Jeno called and Y/N stood looking at the door, fighting the urge to run away. “Hyung!” Jisung yelled and Y/N turned around. "Yea!" she replied, lost and saw all 6 guys staring at her in extreme confusion. "Are you okay?" Mark asked and she had to stop herself from looking at his shirtless chest. "Why the question?" she tried to play dumb. "Because since you approached Y/N you've been kind of quiet." Renjun replied. “More than usual.” Haechan completed and smiled mysteriously. "You know he gets kind of silly when he's around his childhood crush." Chenle rolled his eyes and Y/N felt her jaw drop. What? Chenle and Jeno started making weird noises and the rest of the friends followed, Mark even threw a pillow in Y/N's direction and ended up hitting her head. "Ouch!" she complained and threw the pillow back, hitting Haechan. "Hey!" "What did you say?" Y/N asked Chenle and he shrugged. "No need to look surprised, everyone knows you're secretly in love with Y/N." Since when? "I don't like her, I hate her." Y/N replied uncertainly, that's what Jaemin would have said, right? Because that's what he felt. “Hyung, even I can see why you pick on her so much.” Jisung spoke and Y/N blinked several times but remained silent. “Jaemin and Y/N…” Jeno started. "...Sitting in a tree..." Haechan continued and the boys started to joke even louder. That was impossible. It didn't make any sense. Right?

"Daughter!" Jaemin stopped where he was and froze upon hearing Y/N's mother speak. Damn it, had the excuse that the daughter was supposed to study had not worked? "Yea." he replied in a shaky voice and I turned around to find Y/N's mom sitting on the couch. She clapped her hand on the empty spot beside her and Jaemin got the message and walked over as if he was heading straight for a death sentence. "Everything is fine?" she asked bluntly and Jaemin swallowed hard. How would he lie to Y/N's mom? "Why the question?" "You look different these last few days." she noted in a soft voice and Jaemin took a deep breath. Of course she would realize, besides being a mother, she was also a psychologist. “Does it have anything to do with Jaemin?” Jaemin scratched his ear and pushed his hair back, that damn big hair kept pricking his skin. "I don’t understand." maybe if he played the misunderstood, he'd get Y/N's mom wrapped up. "Honey, I'm your mother, I know you better than anyone." or maybe not. "I know why you pick on him." Jaemin raised his eyebrows, he was interested in the conversation now. "Oh really?" Y/N's mother smiled and he could see the resemblance between mother and daughter as he had never noticed before. "You're in love with him, you just don't want to admit it." Eh, wait a minute. It wasn't quite what he imagined hearing. "What?" was what he managed to say and tilted his head to the side, making Y/N's mother laugh and put her hand on Jaemin's shoulder. "If you approached him to put an end to this pet peeve for good, you've finally heard me." Jaemin bit his tongue, he was about to say the real reason but what Y/N's mom had said was too shocking and it had left his head hurting. Y/N couldn't be in love with him. She hated him with all her might. Right? [...] After Jaemin's friends left, Y/N and Jaemin arranged to meet at the back of his house, his parents were at the cinema so it was the perfect opportunity to talk. But neither of them knew what they were going to talk about. To be honest, the idea of ​​talking didn't seem so good considering what they'd both discovered. That's why they were sitting next to each other in disturbing silence as they watched Neo play in the grass, for the first time in so many years, Y/N wished Jaemin would say something. Anything. Since Jaemin couldn't stop scratching his head, should he share what he'd said with Y/N's mom? What were they doing now? “Okay, that's enough.” Jaemin got up and Y/N stared at him. "I have to tell you something." She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "Me too." He nodded and waited but Y/N didn't say anything so he decided to speak. "I talked to your mother." “I already know everything and…Wait, what?” Y/N looked at him confused. “Did you talk to my mother?” she rose from the floor in shock. “Did you mention us?” He grimaced. “Not about the exchange.” Y/N sighed in relief. "But she told me about you." “M-me?” Jaemin took a step towards her. "She said you pick on me because you’re in love with me." he shrugged and Y/N choked on her own saliva. It couldn't be. "What?" the voice thinned and Jaemin laughed at the sound of his nervous voice. "Well, the boys said the same thing about you this afternoon." Jaemin's eyes widened, it was his turn to not know what to say. Oh no, bunch of traitors! "It is true?" he questioned, seeing Y/N look away elsewhere. "I used to be sure I hated you." she replied and he smiled slightly, boldly taking another step towards her. "Used to?" She laughed. “Once I saw what it was like to be you, I understood why you are so playful.” she explained and stared at him, now they were too close. “I mean, your grades suck!” they both agreed, laughing. “But your friends, they won't let you down for a minute. And your parents, they lead life so peacefully. It’s nowhere near the hectic life my parents have.” "Only when I'm late for school." “Yes, your mother has a very heavy hand.” Y/N noticed and rubbed her shoulder, it wasn't as painful as it was in the first few days. Jaemin laughed, throwing his head back and making Y/N laugh too. She didn't know she had such a loud laugh, but now with Jaemin in her body, he did it more often than she did. “Wait, you said you knew everything. Everything what?" Y/N felt her cheeks burn. "Well, Chenle kind of confessed that you've liked me for as long as, I don't know, ever." “He keeps saying that just to tease me.” Jaemin rolled his eyes. “Jisung said the same thing.” she shrugged and Jaemin looked at her embarrassed. "I thought you teased me because you hated me." Jaemin bit his lower lip, feeling his ears burn. “If I were the quiet, nice student, I would never be able to get your attention.” he admitted and Y/N smiled slightly, it was strange to see her own shy body but she liked seeing that side of Jaemin. "And you make a cute pout when you're mad so." She laughed and saw him come a little closer. Now their bodies were practically touching, the heat emanating from them mingled and for the first time since the exchange, they felt just themselves again. Jaemin didn't look away from her and Y/N didn't dare to cut the exchange of glances that was more intense than before, she found Jaemin's excited look in her own eyes. "I think I want to kiss you but it would be weird because I would be kissing myself." he whispered and took his hand to hold hers. Y/N laughed and laced her fingers with his. "You're cutting the mood, you knew that right?" Jaemin grinned in a silly way. "I know I'm a good kisser but I don't need to kiss my own mouth to prove what everyone else has told me." Y/N tapped him lightly on the shoulder. "Ouch! Hey, don't forget that you have the strength of my body. Go slow." She shrugged, she'd used the least amount of force. "I didn't realize that when I get nervous, I talk too fast." "It’s kinda cute." Jaemin spoke and she rolled her eyes, unable to contain her smile. “So, do you really like me? Is it not because you are in my body and are admiring your own beauty?” “Well, I've liked you since we were 5 years old and…” Jaemin raised his eyebrows. “So you think I'm handsome?” “Please shut up. I never noticed how irritating that arrogant face of mine was.” Jaemin laughed and hugged her quickly, feeling Y/N give in and return the hug. Y/N felt her own heart beating fast against the trunk, now it was Jaemin who was controlling it or in this case, he stopped controlling it. And Jaemin, even though he was embracing his own figure, could feel the delicacy and Y/N fragility. Now, the worry of whether or not they would go back to what they were before, back to their bodies, had been completely forgotten. They were in each other's arms, even if not in the way they had imagined. [...] Jaemin woke up suddenly with something wet falling on his face and felt his back complain as he hugged something, when he opened his eyes realized he was on the grass of his house and the morning light irritated his eyes, he would have taken to hand to cover his eyes but it was then that he noticed that what he was hugging was Y/N. He smiled slightly, they had spent the whole night talking and when they saw that it was late, they just lay down on the grass to take a nap just like Neo, but the nap turned into a deep sleep. It was only then, watching Y/N sleep, that he realized that everything seemed to be back to normal. He looked at his own body in shock, it was wet from the sprinklers running that watered the grass every morning but none of that mattered, that well-defined torso was his and only when he noticed that Y/N's long hair no longer fell in front of his face when lowered his head, concluded that he was back in his own body. But still in disbelief, he decided to look under the pants he was wearing to make sure everything was in its proper place and almost cried when he saw with his own eyes that this was really his body. “What…What.” spoke quietly to himself and closed his eyes as he heard his voice again, controlled by him again. He took the arm that Y/N's head was resting on and knelt on the grass, pushing Y/N's body which was as wet as his. “Y/N, wake up.” "Huh." she complained in her sleep and Jaemin felt his smile grow as he saw that it wasn't a dream. “Wake up, look at me!” he spoke louder and continued pushing her body. "What?!" she replied angrily and turned her body towards Jaemin, opening her eyes slowly and with a pout like she didn't want to be woken up. Y/N stretched, hearing the bones complain, and she stared at Jaemin, still not understanding that euphoria at that time. When her eyes focused on Jaemin's face, she stopped and her expression went from confusion to understanding, her jaw dropped as she realized she was no longer looking at her own body like last night and she sat up quickly as her head swiveled. She brought her hand to touch Jaemin's face and smiled to see that this wasn’t a dream and that her hand was really hers. She felt her long, heavy, wet hair against the back of her neck, and she was never so happy to feel the strands. She had missed the sensation. She was finally back in her own body. “This…” she started. "It's real!" Jaemin concluded and got up from the grass, feeling his ass hurt and pulled Y/N by the hand for her to do the same. Now he felt the texture of her hand just right, against his own. "We came back!" she spoke up, her smile wide from ear to ear and Jaemin mimicked the expression, pulling her into a tight hug. So tight it looked like the two would merge into one. Y/N held the back of his neck tightly and closed her eyes, feeling a shiver run through her body as the wet and cold bodies gathered. Jaemin gently caressed her waist as he squeezed her tight. Although he wanted to continue the hug, Jaemin pulled back enough that he could look into Y/N's eyes and one of his hands came up to her cheek, caressing the still cold skin. He was happy to be there with her but mostly, he was happy not to be in her body. He liked Y/N being Y/N, even if it meant she was too serious and mature for him. Y/N closed her eyes when she saw Jaemin bring his face closer to hers and just waited for the contact, which seemed to come slowly, but when their lips met it was as if her body was suddenly on fire, even though the touch was light and soft was still enough for her to gasp and give in. She felt her whole body give way, as if Jaemin's lips controlled her entirety, when she was ready to throw her arms around his shoulder and deepen the kiss, she heard a clearing of throat. Jaemin didn't seem to mind, he continued with his eyes closed as Y/N opened hers to walk away. A louder clearing of the throat and now feigned coughs was enough to break the mood and Y/N put her hands on Jaemin's torso and gently pushed him away. She felt her cheeks burn as she saw Jaemin's friends standing there staring at the two of them. Unlike what would have happened a long time ago, Jaemin didn't snort at being interrupted, he was actually happy because he was finally able to talk to his friends by being himself. "Well, that shouldn't be surprising, but it is." Chenle spoke and Y/N was ready to move away when Jaemin hugged her sideways. "Weren't you the one who said you knew Jaemin was in love with me?" Y/N asked and the guys looked at each other. "How do you know that?" Jeno asked surprised and Y/N wanted to hit herself. Damn it. It wasn't like she could really explain how she knew about that little conversation between friends. "I told her.” Jaemin shrugged and she controlled a sigh of relief. Save by the gong. "So how long has this been going on?" Renjun pointed to the two who stared at each other, accomplices. "One week." responded in unison. "I told you!" Haechan spoke up and threw her arms up. "I told everyone you guys were acting weird." “He really did.” Jisung rolled his eyes. “Jaemin was never serious and Y/N is never late for school. I don't know, it looked like you guys had switched personalities or something.” Haechan continued, making everyone laugh. "And it's what it looked like!" Mark agreed. Jaemin and Y/N looked at each other once more, laughing in a way that only the two of them could understand. Oh if they only knew...

[gonelike-ach00]

Fangirl | Renjun

high school! Renjun x high school! fem OC

Author: gonelike_achoo

Summary: Where Na Jaemin's fangirl finds herself needing someone to be in a relationship with to help Jaemin and Yuri, her best friend to finally act on their feelings. Where Renjun just so happened to have promised to help Aera, Na Jaemin's fangirl, after a little favor that saved his face.

Genre: fluff, angst, high school au, fake dating

Warning(s): none

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a/n: this same story has been posted in several places, rest assure that they are all posted by me :))

early access to chapters are available at [patreon].

[cherry-ber]

THE L♡VE CLUB

Part thirteen: platonic friendship at its finest

Social Media AU, strangers to lovers for most of the routes.

Pairing: Choose your route! NCT Dream x female reader. Yang Yang x OC. Lucas x OC.

Plot: the world is a really small place. single, broke, funny y/n finds herself being the love interest of a friend group.

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TAG LIST: (dm me to be added/removed)

@aniditiosandwitch @jeongyeonsluvbot @yuthereal-mp4 @kaminapi @sunflowerhae @donghyuckanti27 @neocityfile @jenoleeaesthetic @notbeforelong @samsemsame @nanamericano @yourelate @luvrseung @s0larvenus @i6hoons @shwizhies @grassbutneo @dandelionxgal @mrkleelvr @emysorry @nycol-ie @cathyoliveros10 @saeyeoniee @pckeia @essocacej @catscoffeeandkpop

A.N: HI I'M FINALLY BACK<3 in a bad moment because I'm struggling with school but I'm finally out of my writer's block 😈 also if anything wants to be removed from the tag list you can dm!! I'm worried about how this story will perform now but i really wanted to finish this!! I'll try to get back on track with this I'm sO SORRY IT TOOK SO SO SO LONG!!!

[cannedapricot]

midnight bus. || hrj

in which as much as renjun denies ever caring about you, he can't help but notice the twitch in your eye when you receive your test marks, the smile that doesn't seem to quite reach your eyes when praised by your principal, and the lack of smart remarks when he scores a single point higher. something was wrong, and it was driving him insane. alternatively, two kids ponder about their futures on a late night bus ride because neither of them can drive.

word count: 2.7k

genre, warnings: angst (?), slice of life, some fluff, comfort (?), academic rivals to lovers, high school!au, neighbor!au, teenage uncertainties uttered and lost between tall buildings and lights, profanities, trespassing

bgm: ghost city tokyo by ayase, overdose by natori, cinema by vivid bad squad, you're on your own kid by taylor swift

a/n: i just finished reading this book of mine and i am in absolute shambles.

Renjun's eyes narrow, squinting at you across the hall. He could clearly see the principal congratulating you on the debate club's latest win, yet, you weren't puffing your chest out in pride like usual.

If this was any normal day in the past five years of your unnamed war for valedictorian, you would've thanked the principal and skipped right up to Renjun with a smug smirk on your face. If this was any normal day he would've rolled his eyes at you and told you that "arguing for climate change isn't a useful skill".

Evidently, this wasn't a normal day. Something's off. You bid goodbye to the principal and shuffle right past Renjun. No snide comment, no shit eating grin, nothing to acknowledge him.

Now, Renjun would much rather jump off a ten meter platform than admit to care for you, but weeks pass by and your usual spark never returned. It wasn't like he needed your attention or anything.

But it was driving him nuts.

Grade 6. 11 years old. Renjun meets you for the first time. You showed up to the first day of class in bright yellow suspenders, it was hard not to notice you. Renjun thought the two of you would make great friends. After all, his surname did mean yellow.

He changed his mind after you scored higher than him in math. No one scored higher than him in math. He would've let it slide if it were just math, but you had scored higher in everything except art. To top it off, when he made the off comment about it you said,

"Oh, it's not like it was hard."

And from that day on, he decided that you were his biggest rival and his life goal would be to knock you off your high perch.

Somewhere along the line, you had caught onto Renjun's hostility towards you. It was so amusing watching him get ticked off at your smug comments, how could you stop making them? So you decided that your life goal would be to never let Renjun know peace.

This rivalry, of course, bled into high school and where the two of you stood in present time. Senior year, AP classes, volunteer work, college entrance preparation, the future.

Oh, the future.

"Y/n, can we get a friend discount?"

"No."

A sigh escapes your mouth. Friday night, 8pm. Family-run diner packed to the brim with teenagers celebrating their football win against the school across town. Clad in the retro diner uniform your mom insisted on, you glide across the floor back behind the counter to yell whatever the table of jocks ordered to the kitchen.

"Busy night huh?"

You rest your head on your mom's shoulder, a habit you've had since childhood.

"Sometimes I wish our diner was less popular."

"Now that wouldn't be great for business," Your mom laughs in response to your childish grumble. "You'll learn to enjoy it once you take over."

The family business that's been passed down for decades. The future that's been decided for you before you were even conceived. You've known that your whole life, yet, for some reason, you weren't sure about it.

Your response should've been much more enthusiastic. But all you could manage was a quiet "I know" before turning to bring the cheerleaders their curly fries.

Renjun thinks he's finally lost it. What other explanation could there be to him staring across the fence from his bedroom window to yours. Your light was on, so you were home. But from the shadows moving around he could tell you weren't at your desk preparing for class like usual.

Renjun thinks he's finally gone bonkers. What other explanation could there be to his inability to focus on his four page essay for AP literature. He was usually good at cranking out fancy words and analysis. But for some reason, he found his mind somewhere else.

Renjun thinks he's finally gone deranged. What other explanation could there be to him climbing out his window (his parents could never know), jumping the fence, and standing under yours. A few well aimed twig throws at your glass was enough for you to stick your head out in confusion.

"Renjun what the hell?"

"Come out. We're going for a ride."

So you begrudgingly close your window and look for a coat to wear over your pajamas.

And for the record, Renjun isn't a stalker. Just a neighbor.

"You know, when you said "we're going for a ride", I kind of thought you meant in a car? As in, car ride?"

"And risk my life for you? No way. We're taking the bus."

11:45pm. You were following Renjun as he sped walked through the quiet residential neighborhood. The two of you passed multiple bus stops along the way but none of them had buses running at this hour.

"Just say you can't drive." You scoff, trying to keep up with the boy in front.

"Well, neither can you. With your brains, I thought you would've breezed the driving test."

"Touché."

The bus arrived at 12am sharp. The bus stop was a fifteen minute walk away from your houses and the two of you barely got on, eyes squinted at the sudden neon lights of the bus interior. The bus driver, a woman in her late forties you presume, audibly clicks her tongue at the sight of you both. You don't blame her, you would probably do the same if you were still working at midnight.

You find a seat in the back half of the bus as to give the lady some peace (though she chooses to put on headphones anyway). Renjun sits in the seat on the other side, though the seats were made for two and there was definitely no one sitting next to you. An awkward silence fills the air as the bus heaves into motion, taking the two of you somewhere unknown.

It was kind of relaxing, you thought. Watching streetlamps pass by in a flash, hearing the faint tune of ABBA songs leaking through the driver's headphones, feeling the bus rumble underneath your body. It was almost like you were running away.

"So... What's up with you," Your neighbor awkwardly begins. "I noticed you weren't really yourself lately."

"Aw, does somebody care about me?"

Renjun never thought that hearing the familiar mocking tone that was the bane of his existence would be so comforting. You were still there. You hadn't changed.

"In your dreams." He hides his smile in his palm and keeps his eyes on the scenery passing by, "Unfortunate for me, living next door to you makes me notice things I don't care for."

His eyes slowly move to check on you when you don't say anything. You sat back in your seat, a long hum as a response.

"I don't know."

"The fuck you mean you don't know-"

"Do you ever feel unsure of the future?"

Renjun's sharp retort was cut short. He was caught off guard by your question. You refuse to look at him, making sure your head was turned to face the glass.

"My family expects me to do one thing but maybe... that's not what I want to do, y'know?"

Honestly, you don't know what's possessed you. Why were you spilling your feelings out to your sworn rival? What if he uses this as blackmail or something?

"I get it."

That's all he says. No mockery in his voice, no teasing to be seen. You look over to find Renjun looking at you with a soft gaze. As if you were something extremely precious to him. So you can't help but reveal more to the boy looking at you so gently.

"The world is so big and I'm not sure if being tied down to the family diner is something I want. Like, I know I'll be disappointing my parents but I don't think that's the future I want."

"Then don't."

"Wow! You're so smart! Why didn't I think of that?" You reply sarcastically. You shouldn't be grinning. But you couldn't help it.

"Thanks. I'm the future valedictorian." Renjun smirks, turning his eyes back outside.

"As if. That's my title."

You continue whining about your parents expectations and plans for you and the diner after college. It was a lot but Renjun didn't once complain. He just sat on the other side of the bus, listening.

A weight had been lifted off your heart. Who knew you could be such a whiner? The conversation dims down as the warm colored streetlamps turn into fluorescent ones. You notice the buildings turn into grey skyscrapers and the bus was suddenly making its way into the bustling city.

You turn your head in awe at the sights. Truth be told, you don't make many trips into town, always too busy in your little suburb with whatever activity to add onto your college application. Which is why you almost miss Renjun's words.

"I want to go to art school."

It was a quiet murmur. Nearly drowned out by the bus engine and the honks of city cars.

"I thought your dream was med school?" You weren't poking fun, you genuinely thought Renjun was aiming to be a doctor. Your entire grade did. He scoffs.

"That's my parents' dream. They want the entire family to be in the medical field. It doesn't matter what we want." Renjun's eyes are facing the window, yet, they weren't focused on anything at all.

"Well, I think you'd do great in art school. You're always great at anything artsy." You admit, fidgeting with your coat. He raises his eyebrow and looks at you.

"You noticed?"

"It's hard to miss when you make the best pieces in the whole school. And I remember "Singin' in the Rain" in middle school. You're extremely talented at singing too."

Renjun can't help the smile that blooms on his face.

"You remember."

"Uh, yeah? You literally had a standing ovation."

Renjun never thought you would remember or pay attention to any of that about him. For some strange reason, his heart skipped a beat and he turns back to the window to hide his reddening cheeks.

"Last stop. Get off."

The bus driver said, promptly leaving the second the two of you step off.

"Why is the last stop at a seven eleven?"

"That is kind of weird. Do you think she just kicked us off because she got tired of our bitching?"

You both giggle before stepping into the convenience store. The cashier spares an uninterested glance, then returns the attention back to his phone.

Weaving in and out of the aisles and nearly slipping on some unknown liquid on the tile, Renjun picks out a packet of Haribo bears while you fill a cup of big gulp, nose scrunching up upon touching the sticky machine. Upon exiting the store and leaving the uninterested cashier behind, Renjun tells you he knows a place the two of you could go to share your goods.

"Though we're going to have to break some rules getting there. Think you're up for that, top student?"

"Why of course, second top student."

You had no idea breaking some rules entailed sneaking past the sleeping security guard and jumping over some barriers in a paid car park building. How did Renjun even know this?

"Isn't this illegal?"

"Only if we get caught." Renjun winks, "and I know for a fact they don't check the cameras regularly."

Renjun holds out his hand for support. You take it and jump off a small ledge. You admit, it was exhilarating. And was your heart beating because of the adrenaline, or was it Renjun's hand that he didn't pull away, even after you landed.

"We're here."

Renjun opens the door and reveals the rooftop parking lot. The air was cold against your flushed face and the empty space seven floors up made you feel like you were floating amongst the grey jungle. You run out, stretching your arms before lying on your back, not caring about how dirty the ground was. You felt free.

"I don't want to make 9pm coffees for the book club ladies for the rest of my life!" You yell into the open air.

Your partner in crime (literally) laughs before joining you on the cold concrete.

"Well, well. Look how far the top student has fallen. How would the principal feel knowing you've trespassed."

You roll your eyes, a stupid smile etched on your face. Placing down your icy drink, you turn your body to face the boy.

"I could say the same about you. Aren't you runner up for valedictorian? After me, of course."

"Actually, I'm number one contender." He responds, turning to mirror your position.

Oh.

The two of you were closer than expected. Lying on a dirty parking lot floor, noses almost touching.

Oh.

His eyes flit down to your lips.

You cough awkwardly before sitting up, red in the face.

"Do you want to try some of my drink?"

"Yeah, okay."

He silently sips on the drink. Though it was cold, it couldn't calm his burning ears down.

A few hours pass. The two of you spent that time stargazing, talking about whatever on your minds, and exchanging shy touches.

"Do you believe in aliens?"

"Uh, yeah I do. Space is massive - I doubt humans are the only intelligent life form out there."

Except all good things must come to an end. Come 3am, the two of you tread back to the seven eleven, hoping a bus would be there to take you home.

"Do you think the guy's still at the register?"

"Probably. I snuck a look at his phone earlier. I think he's been caught cheating."

The pair of you snicker and a bus rolls up. The doors open to reveal the same driver you had coming over.

"Lovebirds on their way home now, eh?"

"What? We're- we're not-"

"Oh give up. I've seen enough of you to know what's going on. Are you two getting on or not."

With matching red faces, you and Renjun board the bus. Except this time, he sits next to you, not on the other side.

"You're awful at drawing." Renjun laughs. Your attempt at drawing him on cold window cries a little, the condensation dripping where you touched it.

"Yeah, well. There's a reason you're always top of art."

He smiles, reaching past you to draw his version of you. It looked much better than whatever you drew and you were never the one to let him win. So you destroyed both drawings with one swipe of your palm.

"Sore loser."

"Cry about it."

Arm in arm, you walked home together at the same pace. Renjun slowing down so he'd match your comfortable speed. You'd never thought you would ever leave the house, spend time with your rival, only to come back with some weird tension between the two of you.

Renjun sends you to your doorstep and you turn to him.

"Thanks for cheering me up. It really helped."

"Don't worry about it. I also ended up getting stuff off my chest too."

Then he cracks the cutest smile and you couldn't stop yourself.

You kissed him.

On the cheek. You weren't ready for the lip on lip thing just yet.

"I'll see you Monday then." You hurriedly mutter, rushing inside to hide your embarrassment and to avoid seeing his reaction.

"Yeah. Monday." Renjun whispers into the night, a soft smile on his face.

EPILOUGE

"Renjun, you've got to start cleaning up your paint pots."

Your boyfriend looks up from his easel, eyes sparkling realizing it was you.

"You're home early!"

It was a couple of years later. Renjun was perusing his art career after having a thorough talk with his family (it took a few months), which explained the apartment-studio thing going on.

You came clean to yours about not wanting to take over the diner. Though you expected them to look at you in disappointment, they didn't. All they said was that they were proud of you for dreaming.

And now, you were sharing an apartment with the love of your life (who was currently covered in paint), once rival (you are now also covered in paint. He gave you a massive hug and a welcome home kiss).

[liliansun]

(FAILED) love letters to locker #67

synopsis 💌: after finally getting the courage to confess to your crush via love letter, you’re shocked to find out that it actually didn’t end up in his locker and the one who did receive it was a little closer to home than you would’ve liked.

pairing 🫶: crush!heeseung x fem!reader x bbf!haechan

wc 💪: 10.1k

genre 📖: fluff, angst, humor, high school puppy love kinda vibe, iykyk

warnings: kissing, swearing, badly told jokes, jaem has a little temper ngl, gossiping and yk people be staring bc yk

special mentions: enha members, aespa member, le sserafim members, nct dream members

<3: as always @ethereal-engene aka ash, loml <33 got to beta-read this and it was the literal highlight of my day. also I wrote half of this over a couple days and finished the rest to day so if it’s a hot mess that’s why, love you🧎‍♀️

This was it, today was your day and you were beyond determined to make it through this day without anything messing up or stopping from you. Yes, today was the day that you planned on confessing to the prettiest boy, in your opinion, Lee Heeseung. So far, you feel pretty confident—or at least the most confident you can feel. With the letter in your hand, you linger around the lockers right before the lunch bell and pretend to listen to what your brother is saying. Jaemin was talking all nerdy to you and it was going through one ear and out the next. “Hey, listen to me when I’m talking, you’re being incredibly rude.” As he snaps his fingers at you, you swat at his hand.

“Leave me alone, I’m focusing.” He rolls his eyes, following your eyes to the boy you were so swooned for. “He’s not even that cute, if we’re comparing looks, I look better—some might even say sexy.” As he wiggles his eyebrows, you shove him aside and start to fiddle with your locker. “Ouch, that’s so rude—do I need to tell your little crush how rude you ar—OUCH!” Stomping on his foot, you give him the finger before sticking your nose into your locker. As the bell goes off, you shoo Jaemin away and put your books up. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Heeseung leaving his locker and heading down to the lunch hall. As you shut your locker, the hallway empties and you find this to be your perfect opportunity.

You try to act casual, walking across the hall and looking at the locker numbers. You’re about to slip the letter that you poured your heart into in the designated locker—that is until you hear voices coming from the end of the hall. Without paying much attention, you shove the letter in what you hope is the right locker and go on down the hallway, pretending as if you didn’t just slip a love letter in. Unbeknownst to you, the boy who was late to lunch comes flying down the hallway and accidentally bumps into you. “Shit—sorry doll face.” You didn’t get a clear look at the guy who practically ran you over, rubbing your shoulder as he ran down and disappeared into the hungry crowd of students.

You look around for your usual table where your friends are always found, skipping the line and sliding into the seat next to Yunjin. “Look who decides to join us?” Rolling your eyes, you grab half the sandwich from Chaewon’s tray and start to munch on it. “A certain someone must’ve been keeping her company.” Giselle wiggled her brows at you, leaning onto the table with her elbows propping her up. “Give her a break, she’s probably too tired to deal with you two from thinking about Heeseung all night.” Yunjin snickered, ducking down when you tried to throw your sandwich at her.

“Says the one who was stalking Chenle on his socials.” The girl beside you threw her hands over your mouth, looking over at the boy of topic to make sure he didn’t hear you. “Shh, he’s right there, unlike lover boy, he literally sits a few tables away.” You giggle into her hands, pulling them down as her face heats up in slight embarrassment. “You two are a mess, imagine simping over a man, ew.” Chaewon dramatically flipped her short hair, popping a piece of fruit into her mouth. “Aren’t you the same one who was drooling over that girl in your art class?” Giselle was more than satisfied by Chaewon’s lack of response, laughing when the other tried to steal her tray from her.

“What’s with all the giggling over there, you girls aren’t thinking of me, are you?” Jaemin stood up from his seat, smiling over at you with the most annoying grin on his face. “I can’t believe we’re related sometimes.” You mumble, avoiding his eyes in hopes he’ll leave you alone. “I can’t believe you two shared a home for nine months, you must’ve took all the right nutrients for him to come out like that.” Looking in the direction Chaewon was pointing in, you could see Jaemin and his friends sticking food in your brothers belly button and all of you were utterly disgusted. “Look y/n, I got olives for my next class!”

You were always embarrassed by your brother’s shenanigans, especially when he didn’t know how to control his volume and now half the lunch hall was looking your way. The cherry on top of it all was that Heeseung and his friends got curious about the commotion and now were looking at your table, heat rushing to your cheeks faster than you could get up from your table and try to discreetly leave the hall. Unbeknownst to you, a certain pair of eyes followed your figure from the table till you slipped between the crowd and ultimately out of his sight.

After leaving the lunch hall, you headed to your next class and lingered outside the door after stopping by your locker. You opt to wait by the door, back against the wall while looking over your notes from the previous class. In the distance, you could hear footsteps coming your way, not paying the person who was coming through any mind as you kept your nose in your book. “Hey, you’re..Na Y/n, right?” The unfamiliar voice caught your attention, looking up to see a boy who you didn’t fully recognize. You’re sure you’ve seen him around, being that he’s in your year and had been in a couple classes a couple years back, but he looks different than what you remember.

“Uh, yeah, who are you again?” The way he smiled at you made you almost feel small. “Just checking out the infamous Na twin, that’s all.” Before you could get a word in, he walked away with a grin on his face, disappearing as he turned a corner. Confused and more curious as to why he approached you, you decide that it’s best to ignore whatever that was and focus on your notes so that you’ll at least have some idea of what today’s class is about. Minutes pass by and the lunch hall starts to empty out, a crowd of students coming out into the hallways and to their lockers in batches while you await for your friends to join you at the door. When the bell finally goes off, you go inside the room and take your seat near the window where both you and Yunjin sit.

By the time you set your notebook and book down on your desk, Yunjin comes running in the class, making a direct b-line to your desk. “Hey, where were you? I waited by the door for you before class started.” Out of breath, Yunjin held herself up on her hands that were on her thighs. “I heard people whispering and I just had to stick around and get the tea.” You weren’t really surprised, sitting down as she took the seat across from you. She catches her breath, leaning towards you while signaling for you to lean in. “Okay, so I was about to leave the lunch hall and I overheard some fangirls crying about how Haechan ha-“

“Stop right there, who’s Haechung?”

“Haechan.” Yunjin corrects you, laughing as you brush off the fact that you butchered someone’s name who you didn’t even know. “Anyway, he said to this girl that he got a love letter and rejected the poor thing solely based on this supposed letter he got in his locker.” Somehow, you don’t connect the dots and pass it off as a coincidence. “Huh, good for him I guess.” With her mouth agape, Yunjin looked at you in shock. “Girl, do you even know who Haechan is?” Shaking your head, you lean back into your seat and start to open your notebook back up to where you were before class started. “He’s literally one of your brother’s best friends, they’re pretty popular around school, especially with the ladies.”

“Who’s popular with the ladies?” Looking up from your notebook, your heart immediately starts to race when you see Heeseung looking down at you with a smile. “Not you, lover boy.” Yunjin and Heeseung exchange a look before they both turn their attention back to you. “Uh, just some guy in my grade and stuff.” He nods, taking the seat in front of you, smiling at you in a way that nearly takes your breath. “Well, I hope whoever he is didn’t catch your attention, wouldn’t want someone taking my favorite window-neighbor away.” You couldn’t comprehend exactly what he was saying, only nodding at him while trying to stop yourself from drooling. He laughs a little under his breath, watching as your eyes gloss over and merely smile back.

After hearing someone calling his name, Heeseung saw his desk mate waving him down, getting up from the seat to head over to where he typically sits. “Well, I’ll see you around y/n, yunjin.” Yunjin gave Heeseung a bitter smile, clapping her hands together as he walked away before turning back to you with an obvious shift in her mood. “Ugh, I know you like him and he makes your insides liquid and all, but he still irks me.”

“I can’t believe you’re letting this grudge carry on this long.” As dramatic as Yunjin may be, she never fails to let a grudge go, especially when it comes to Heeseung. “This long, are you hearing yourself, he spread all those false rumors about me and never apologized!” She scoffs underneath her breath as she sits back in her seat. “Can’t believe you thought I’d forgive so easily, who do you take me for?” Smiling at her, you reach out and rub her shoulder as she returns the smile. “Dunno, thought you were Jaemin for a second.” Snickering as she starts hitting on your leg, your teacher gathers the attempt of the room and begins the class.

By the end of the day, classes had finished and you opted to ride home with Chaewon instead of going with your brother. When you got in the door, you could hear your brother talking on the phone as you made your way through the hallway and down to your room. Jaemin heard you come in, ending his call and following behind you with a winning look on his face. “What do you want, nana?” Slipping his phone into his pocket, he leans against your door frame, watching as you toss your bag onto your bed. “I got some friends coming over in a minute and I just wanted to tell you we’ll be in the living room.” You turn to face him, sitting on your bed and start to dig through your bag. “And before you ask, I did get mom and dad’s permission, so don’t try to rat me out.”

Jaemin left your room, disappearing somewhere down the hall and into the living room you assume. Pulling out the essentials you bring with you to school, you feel a pair of eyes looking at you which was starting to creep you out. Looking up from the pile of stuff you took out of your bag, you look over to your window to see Heeseung standing in his room. Crouched down by his window, we waves at you to come over, to which you do. After crawling off your bed and crouching down to your window, you push it open and lean against the wall with your arms crossed to prop you up. Heeseung did the same, opening his window and sitting down by it as he looked across to you.

“So, do you normally stalk your neighbors or was that just a coincidence that I literally felt you looking at me?” He laughs, a sweet laugh that immediately makes you smile. “Actually, no, I just happened to look over and saw you were free and might need some company.” Shaking your head, you miss the way he smiles at you and instead enjoy the cool breeze coming your way. “You could’ve thrown rocks at my window or I don’t know, knocked on my front door like a normal person.” He arched up an eyebrow, grinning at you which had you blushing. “Are you inviting me into your house—no wait, into your room miss y/n, because all of those options sound pretty romantic to me.”

You were sure your face was probably as red as it possibly could be, clearing your throat to try and regain your composure. “Please, if I’m getting romantic with anyone, it’d be my three-d animated boyfriend, real boys aren’t my thing.” Heeseung laughed again, man you wish you could put his laugh on repeat. “Yeah yeah, whatever floats your boat.” Both of you started snickering at one another, interrupted when a group of boys started to make their way to your house. “Got company?” Shaking your head, you let out a sigh, almost forgetting your brother had friends coming. “No, Jaemin invited his friends over and I’m planning on camping out in my bed till they’re gone.”

Heeseung nodded silently, leaning forward and letting the breeze brush against his face. You watched how the wind moved the hair that usually fell almost into his eyes fly back and exposed the beautiful features you didn’t get to see often. He must’ve sensed you looking, smiling when his eyes met yours. “I-uh, I think I’m gonna go get a snack.”

“See you tomorrow, y/n.”

After Heeseung closed his window, you sat on the floor, screaming silently into the palms of your hands. Throughout all the years you’ve lived next to him, that was probably the most you two have talked since you were kids and all you can think of is how embarrassing you might’ve looked. Opting to get a drink to maybe cool your burning cheeks, you got off the floor and closed the window before heading out your room. You could already hear how loud Jaemin and his friends were, staying silent as you went into the kitchen.

“And I swear to you bro, it was the best confession I’ve ever gotten—hands down.” Whoever was talking sounded familiar, but you weren’t trying to listen too hard and just wanted to get a cup from the cabinet. “Bro, are you sure it was for you, I mean from what I’ve heard it sounds like they barely know you.”

“That’s the exciting part, they don’t know me and when I find them, they won’t be able to resist my charm.” Okay, you were physically disgusted by whatever they were talking about. Not sure what it is about boys their age, but they were always so sure they were the shit and that was not attractive at all. “I’m telling you, if I find her I’m going to make her mine, lemme just read it to you and you’ll know.” After pouring your drink, you leaned against the counter and took a couple sips. For some reason, your curiosity got the best of you and you wanted to know where this was going.

“Lee, I know that this is unexpected, but I have been thinking about you for quite some time and I think I’m ready to finally tell you how you make me feel.” Your entire body freezes, the hairs on your arms stand as you can almost feel the color drain from your face. “I’ve been harboring these feelings for you for a long time and I want you to know how deeply I feel for you, no other has ever made me want to love someone the way you do.” Panic starts to run through your veins as you try and think of how you managed to put the letter in the wrong locker. “Maybe you’ll find out who I am, maybe you won’t, but for now I’ll remain close to you at a distance, sincerely your secret admirer.”

This wasn’t how this was supposed to go, this wasn’t supposed to happen and it wasn’t supposed to end up in the hands of whichever friend of your brothers. Thinking of how you could possibly make this situation better, the sound of your brother's voice being closer to you than you’d like makes you stiff. “Lemme see that paper, it looks kind of familiar.” All you can think of at this moment is how badly this is going to spread around your school if rumors are spread and a mental note to look into how to drop out of school. You must’ve spaced out, not realizing that someone had walked into the kitchen and was now staring at you. “Uh, can you move—I kind of need to get right there.”

“Uh—oh yeah, I’m sorry.” You manage to mumble to the boy who gave you an odd look. “Renjun, who are you—oh hey y/n, come here.” Trying your best to sneakily slip back to your room turned out to be an epic fail, hearing your brother calling out for you. When you turned around, all the eyes of the boys he had over were now on you and one in particular looked a little too familiar for your liking. “Is it urgent?” Judging by the look he gave you, you knew you had no choice but to come otherwise he’d physically move you himself. So you slowly made your way to where they were all sitting, shifting from one foot onto the other in hopes this would be over soon.

“This is y/n, she’s my sister.” Jaemin gestured to you as you awkwardly waved at everyone. “Y/n, that’s jeno—who you’ve met many times before, but the rest are Renjun and Haechan.” Jaemin pointed over to the one who you ran into in the kitchen, Renjun was his name. The other he pointed over to was grinning at you, making your stomach churn as you avoided his gaze. “Hello y/n, it’s nice to meet you.” Your eyes locked with Haechan putting all the puzzle pieces from the day together in your head. He was the one who rejected a girl for your love letter, the same guy who nearly knocked you off your feet on the way to the lunch hall. He’s been everywhere all in one day and something tells you that he’s not going anywhere anytime soon.

“‘Kay, nice to meet you, if you need me nana, call me.” Jaemin could sense you weren’t comfortable, the atmosphere shifting a little as you walked out. Jeno noticed Haechan’s eyes following you, meeting his friend's eyes with a knowing glare.

The next day at school was supposed to go smoothly, that is until you filled in the girls about the situation and they all didn’t react so quietly. “What the fuck!” Chaewon’s supposed whisper was a lot louder than she anticipated, Yunjin slapping her hand over her friend's mouth to quiet her. Due to the loudness from your huddled group on the field behind the gym, people were looking over at the four of you as you and Giselle tried to play it cool. “Do you have to be so loud?” Chaewon gave you an apologetic look to which you gave her a forgiving nod. “I’m sorry, I’m just shocked that the na y/n could be so ballsy and write up her confession into a love letter.”

“Which totally backfired on her, by the way.” Giselle made sure to point out the obvious in the situation, reminding you of your biggest regret in the last twenty-four hours. “You’re telling me, he was literally eyeing me down yesterday in my living room which ruined my vibe after talking with Heeseung.” Yunjin slung her arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer to her as the three of you walked around the field. “Let’s just look on the positive side, maybe Haechan won’t find out it was from you and all will be well.”

“What wasn’t from y/n?” The sound of Jeno’s voice scared you all, making you and your friends jump a little before turning around to see a very confused and sweaty Jeno. “It’s called staying out of conversations you weren’t apa—“

“Okay, let’s go little firecracker.” Giselle took Yunjin away before she said something to upset the boy who was a little amused. “Can we talk really quick, alone?” Jeno shifts his eyes between you and Chaewon, nodding to your friend as she waves back to you before leaving you two. “So, what do you want?” Jeno laughs a little, rubbing the sweat from his forehead off with his shirt. “Kinda rude for someone who I practically grew up with, Jaemin would be disappointed.”

“Yeah, well you were more of his friend than you were mine so I don’t see any problem in getting to the point.” Jeno always admired how head-strong you were. Unlike your brother, you always skipped the line and got to the root of things whereas Jaemin was more relaxed and let things come as they go. “I just wanted to see what’s up with you and Haechan.” Your heart shouldn’t have started to race, not by the likes of his name. Maybe it was because in that instance, you caught a glance of him across the field and when you looked a little too long, he locked eyes with you and smiled.

“Haechan? Nothings going on with us, I barely know him, if even that.” Jeno doesn’t seem satisfied with your answer, but you’re hoping he’ll buy it enough to let you escape the boy who is now making his way towards the two of you. “Alright, I’m just looking out for you—you’re almost like a sister to me too and I don’t want you mixing with him, he doesn’t have the best track record with girls.” Somehow you’re almost sad to hear that, not knowing why you expected anything less than him being a player, nevertheless it still made you sad. “Thanks Jeno, but I gotta go before I’m late to my next class, bye!”

Haechan was hot on your heels, almost near you and Jeno if it weren’t for you cutting the conversation short and running off before you gave him the chance to catch you. Your friends were somewhere on the other side of the field by now, but you opted to head in and get changed before Haechan got the opportunity to steal your attention. You’re running back into the building, turning a corner and nearly running into the body of an oncoming student. “Woah, slow down, what’s the rush?” After brushing your hair out from your face, you look up to see Heeseung smiling down at you as you regain your composure. “Going somewhere important?” The breath in your chest stopped for a second, raking in the beautiful features that were Heeseung’s face.

“Uh—no, I actually was just going to get changed.” He nods, turning around to walk alongside you as you go towards your locker to get your spare clothes. “Hey, I saw the guys leaving your house yesterday, are any of them anyone I should know?”

“No, not really, I mean they’re just Jaemin’s friends so I only really know Jeno and the rest I met officially yesterday.” Heeseung was quiet, watching as you opened your locker and fished through your bag to get what you needed. “Why’d you ask, is there something wrong with them?”

“No no, I was just curious, that’s all.” After closing your locker, you look up at Heeseung one last time before starting to walk backwards towards the girls shower room. “You know what they say, curiosity is the cats greatest weakness.” He laughs, watching as your face heats up from the slight embarrassment you’re feeling. “I’m more of a deer kinda guy.” Laughing yourself, you turn your back to him and leave him standing there against your locker while watching your figure become further and further away from him.

As the day progressed, more and more people were whispering about the mystery girl who sent Haechan the love letter and how he was actively looking for her. Your friends tried their best to keep news from being spread to one ear to yours, but they can’t stop every girl in class from talking about it without drawing suspicion. You were more than happy to be home after school had ended, coming into your house and dropping your bag off in your room before going into the kitchen. Searching through the fridge, you don’t find much appetizing and decide to just heat up leftovers. While the leftovers are reheating, a knock on your door surprises you.

You expect it to be one of your friends or even your brother who maybe forgot his key, instead when you open the door you’re met with a very smiley Haechan. “Jaemin isn’t home.” Immediately dropping his smile for a pout, Haechan didn’t seem pleased with your emotionless reaction to him being at your door. “I already knew that, he told me to come and wait for him till he and Jeno get home.” You give him a single nod, staring at him as he slowly curls his lips up into a grin. “So can I help you or are you just gonna stand there?”

“Inviting me in would be nice.” Rolling your eyes, you step aside and let Haechan come in, watching as he looks around as if he’d never been into your house before. “Don’t go into his room, I’m not going to be responsible for his temper if you mess with his stuff.” Ignoring you, Haechan disappeared down the hallway, leaving you in the kitchen to take out your warm leftovers and a bottle of water. Assuming he went to the bathroom or maybe came down into the living room, you take your food and go into your room to see a very comfortable Haechan sitting on your bed. “Please leave before I call the cops.” Haechan smiled at you, leaning back onto his elbows as he looked around your room. “You invited me in, so technically you’d be wasting your time calling them.”

“Should I call Nana instead?” Wincing, Haechan got off your bed with a smack of his lips and slowly made his way around your room. “Why are you still here, I thought I told you to leave.” Ignoring you, he pulled your chair out from your desk and plopped down into it. By this time, you knew there was no getting rid of him and you were too hungry to even care. Too caught up into the food in front of you, you failed to realize Haechan went stiff as he fiddled with the materials on your desk. Picking up the notebook on your desk, his fingers grazed across the paper as his heart started to beat rapidly against his chest. Something in you told you to look up, feeling your stomach drop as you watched him study the paper in his hands. Immediately getting up from your bed, you grab the notebook from his hands with flushed cheeks as he stays still, looking down at his empty hands.

“Y/n, I’m home! Is Haechan here?”

Your brother’s voice echoed into your room, the tension between the two of you made the room go quiet. “Y/n, did Hae—oh, what’s going on?” Jaemin was more than confused to see you staring down at Haechan with a pink tinted face. Haechan, who still didn’t move until his friend's voice brought him back in, blinked a little before getting up from the chair and left your room without a word. Jaemin was genuinely confused, tilting his head at you. You already knew he wanted to know if you were okay, to which you gave him a nod and he left it at that. The rest of the night that the boys were down in the living room, you stayed in your room and hoped that the earth would swallow you whole at any second.

Since that night, it had been a couple weeks that passed and to say that things were awkward at first would be an understatement. Haechan wouldn’t look you directly in the eye the first couple days following, not that you really cared—but it did leave you feeling a little uneasy at first. When you finally think that maybe all would go back to normal, Haechan started to become a little bolder anytime you were near and to say it made you flustered was also an understatement. Not sure if it’s the lack of romantic—not that you’re calling him romantic—interaction you’ve had with boys up until this point or if it’s the pure charismatic side of him that’s rubbing off onto you each time he attempts a bad joke, but you’ve almost grown accustomed to him being around now.

Your friends on the other hand don’t like it too much, Yunjin advising you to watch how close you get with him and for once rooting for Heeseung. Giselle just wants you to be happy whereas Chaewon thinks Haechan is a cute match for you and thinks you’d be cute with him. You don’t know why you’re daydreaming about either of the boys when you should be focusing on the class you’re in, but what snaps you out of it are the girls whispering not-so-quietly behind you. “I heard that Lee Haechan is going to ask the girl who wrote him the love letter a couple weeks ago to the Valentine’s Day dance.”

“No way, he knows who it is?” You can only imagine the girl shrugged. “Dunno, I think it’s someone who he dated in the past or even someone who he’s known for a while.”

“Really? I’ve heard it’s one of his friend’s friend, but none of them really have female friends, all I can think of is Jaemin’s sister.” You assume they were trying to whisper the last part a little quieter, but they weren’t exactly achieving that. “Whoever it is, they sure are lucky, I mean having both Lee’s of the school being cuffed for Valentine’s Day is a first.”

“Both Lee’s? You’re not talking about Heeseung are you, because if you are I’m going to be devastated.” You felt almost guilty for listening to them, but you pretty much didn’t have a choice and pretended to take notes as they carried on. “Girl, I’ve heard from this girl who was hooking up with Jake that Heeseung told him that he’s planning on asking his longtime crush out for the dance!”

You must haven’t been the only one to hear them, seeing as your teacher loudly cleared their throat which caught the attention of both the girls. The rest of the class went by relatively smoothly, but the thought of Heeseung asking another girl out for the dance really made your heart hurt a little bit.

“What’s on your mind?”

You had been back at home, sitting on your front stairs as the storm clouds started to brew in. “Dunno, just thinking.” Heeseung joined you, sitting beside you as the two of you watched the sky turn from blue to a dark grayish. “You know what I’ve been thinking about?”

“Hm?”

“I’ve been thinking about the Valentine’s Day dance.” Heeseung smiled at you, just a little, but it was enough to bring a smile onto your lips. “Oh really? Speaking of that dance, I’ve heard that you’re planning on asking someone to go with you?” He shrugs nonchalantly, pushing his hair back as you laugh and give him a slight shove. “Don’t be so cocky, it’s not a good look on you.”

“But it is on Haechan, right?”

You’re taken aback by his words, falling silent before looking up at him confused. “Where did that come from?” With a heavy sigh, his shoulders roll forward and he shrugs. “Dunno, you two seem to be getting close, just thought there was something going on between you two.” Looking down at your hands, you ponder on whether you two are getting close. Yes, you did hang around your brother and his friends a little more often than usual, but that wasn’t directly for Haechan—was it? “Nah, we just talk because he’s always at my house.”

“Speaking of always being at someone’s house, you sure are always at mine when yours is right next door.” Jaemin was staring down at Heeseung, no sign of emotion on his face while Haechan leaned from behind your brother to send a smile your way. “Yeah, I should get going—I, uh, I’ll talk to you tomorrow instead, y/n.” Just like that, Heeseung got up and left you alone to be completely furious with your brother. “What the hell was that?” Jaemin rolled his eyes at you, walking past you as you got up from the stairs and followed him inside. “Don’t start with me y/n, I don’t wanna do this with you right now.” Genuinely confused and more frustrated, you slam the door behind you and follow him into the hallway.

“Don’t start what, nana, how about you don’t start shit with my friends like I don’t start with yours.” Jaemin scoffed, physically moving his body as he rolled his eyes. “Please, don’t you think it’s a little weird that he’s always around the house and if he’s not by our front door, he’s all out his window trying to talk to you.”

“You’re saying this like it’s a problem, your friends are always in our house taking up our space and eating everything in our fridge and you have the nerve to complain about our neighbor?” The two of you got into a pretty heated argument that ultimately was put out by your mom. Jaemin claimed the living room, seeing that his friends were still outside due to the tension between you two and you went back outside to get fresh air as the other two boys went inside, leaving you and Haechan under the darkened clouds.

“Hey, I don’t know if this is the right time, but I was wondering if we can talk?” Letting out the heavy breath you didn’t know you were holding in, you nod and Haechan sits down on the steps as you do the same. He fiddles with his fingers for a while as you let the breeze brush against you and relax your mind. “The letter I got, the one I found in my locker a couple weeks ago, that was you wasn’t it?” You could feel the hairs rise on your arms, your mouth suddenly going dry as you choose not to look at his dejected face. “And it wasn’t meant for me..was it?” For some reason, the sadness lingering in his tone made your heart hurt more than it should’ve.

“No—it wasn’t for you.” Just as his head hung, a downpour of rain started and the two of you didn’t bother to move. Maybe it was the emotional stress of all that has been going on, maybe it was because of the sudden comforting feeling of sitting beside him with only the sound of rain filling in the space that silence once occupied. Whatever it was, you felt all aspects of your guard coming down and let everything you’ve kept to yourself out. “I’ve liked him for so long, ya know, that I thought that maybe if I just tell him about how I feel then he’d feel the same way.” You didn’t have to elaborate, Haechan already knew from what he’s seen of your interactions with Heeseung that the boy next door was the one of your interest.

“Surprise surprise, it didn’t even get to him and I’m pretty sure if it did, he’d reject me.” Haechan lifted his head, looking over at you with somber eyes. Trying to fight back the urge of crying in front of him like a child, you sucked in the tears that were threatening to fall down your cheeks and focused your attention on the rain coming down in front of you. “How about we test that theory?” Looking over at him, he was clearly thinking of something that could possibly end in the worst way. Somehow, that didn’t scare you away from the curiosity that was the thoughts in his mind. “And how exactly are we gonna do that?”

“Take my hand and find out.” This should’ve been your sign to just go inside and pretend that this wasn’t happening, that the thought of taking his hand didn’t ignite a fire in you that you never knew you had. Instead of listening to yourself, you let your heart's unwanted beating lead the way and put your hand into his. He guided you from underneath the shelter of the porch and into the rain which at first wasn’t the most pleasant experience. “What does catching a cold have to do with testing if he likes me or not?” Haechan was more than amused by your not so happy expression as the rain got heavier, leaving the two of you drenched in a matter of seconds.

“Dance with me.” You weren’t sure if he was delusional or just downright crazy, both sounding like the best description of him at this moment. “Are you crazy, I don’t get how th-“

“Just dance with me y/n, for once stop thinking about anything else and dance with me.” Looking down at your hand in his, you decided to trust him, even if it meant you’d regret it later. Taking a couple steps forward, you were shocked when Haechan lifted your hand and spun you around, earning a laugh from the both of you. Pulling you in, he rested both of his arms around your waist as you wrap yours around his neck. The two of you slowly rock back and forth as the rain doesn’t show signs of letting up anytime soon. “How long are we supposed to stay out here exactly?” He hums against your shoulder, sending chills down your spine. “Until he’s jealous enough to realize he’s missing out on an amazing girl.”

About to question him, you realize in the midst of dancing that Heeseung was watching the two of you from his house and somehow it didn’t make you feel the way you’d thought it did. “Guess we’ll have to stay out here forever.” Haechan laughed, lifting his head up to lock eyes with you. The view of his honey skin up close combined with the water dripping off the tips of his hair alone was enough to have your heart skyrocketing. The cherry on top of the cake was the little moles scattered across his face that you could only view close up that made the warmth of your cheeks turn a shade of pink. “Fine by me, I like the view from here better than I did before.” With your fingers playing through the back ends of his hair, you slowly started to pull him closer, hoping that the softness of his lips would collide with yours. Unfortunately for you, your brother opened the door and called out for his friend, wondering where he had gone.

“Haechan, where are you—oh.” Instantly separating, both you and Haechan created a great distance between one another as you both awkwardly looked at Jaemin with flushed faces. “I, uh, the boys wanted you to know it’s your turn..on the game.” Without word, Haechan walked into your house and you followed behind him, ignoring the weird looks the two of you got from everyone in the room. Running to your room and shutting the door, you locked yourself in until your mom later told you the boys had left and a very awkward moment between you and Jaemin was felt by your parents during dinner. Afterwards, you got ready for bed and got on call with the girls to fill them in about the day you’ve had and prepare yourself for the day to follow.

The days that followed were not what you expected them to be. Haechan seemed to be avoiding you more than you thought he would whereas Heeseung was always around the corner and ready to spark conversation at any time. While you sit at the table with your friends in the lunch hall, your mind wanders off to your brother's table and your focus is on the boy whose laugh could be heard from a mile away. Your friends were too used to your spacing out to try and bring you back into the conversation, instead opting to watch you in a sad silence.

Heeseung made his way to your table instead of his, smiling down at you when you came back and saw him beside you. “What’s wrong?” Shaking your head, you dodge his question and instead push the tray away from you. “Nothing, just not feeling the lunch they served today.” Nodding, Heeseung nervously looks around for his friends who were silently rooting him on from across the hall. “Well, I was wondering if you still planned on going to the Valentine’s Day dance this weekend?”

“I guess, I mean I haven’t really thought much about it.” Overhearing your conversation, the girls all lean in and smile at the way Heeseung is looking at you. “Actually, we went dress shopping last week and y/n got the perfect dress.” Chaewon said proudly, propping her chin up onto her hands. “It’s pink, by the way, imagine a blush pink.” Yunjin adds in, winking at Heeseung as he nods knowingly at her. “Sounds like I’m going to go find a matching tie to go with your dress.” Shocked, you look at Heeseung with a confused expression as he then stands up with his friends rushing behind him. “Uhm—what are y—what’s going on?” By now, most of the lunch hall was looking over at your table and the embarrassment on your face was pretty evident.

“Na y/n, would you be my date to the Valentine’s Day dance—which in return is me asking you to be my valentine?” Overwhelmed was one way to put how you were feeling. The flowers his friends were holding along with the sign they passed to Heeseung and the pink tent of his face all made you feel persuaded that you should say yes. If you had asked yourself months ago what you would say in this instance, you’d immediately agree because this was a day you had been waiting for since you first met Heeseung and it almost saddens you how conflicted you are. Looking around the hall and seeing the sadness on Haechan’s face masked by the smile he wore, you didn’t know if your answer should’ve been swayed by a boy who didn’t even look in your direction since the near kiss experience.

“Uh, I—Heeseung, can we talk about this later?” A sea of ‘oohs’ and hushed whispers started to spread amongst the ones who were watching it all go down. If he was hurt, Heeseung sure didn’t show it as he gave you the same smile he always gave you and handed you over your flowers. “Of course, you know where to find me when you’re ready to talk.” Heeseung was sweet, probably one of the sweetest boys you’ve ever met, but your heart was begging you to clear the air before everyone gets hurt in the end and that’s exactly what you wanted to do. By the time you looked back over at your brother's table, all of his friends were still there, watching your reaction except the one person you’d hoped to see was now gone.

Sitting back down in your seat, all your friends looked at you in shock as you set the flowers down on the table. “I can’t believe you just rejected that man, in front of everyone!” Yunjin, like always, was the first one to say what was on her mind, but we’re not surprised. “It’s because of Haechan, isn’t it?” You didn’t have the courage to meet Giselle’s eyes, giving them all the answers they already knew. Pulling you in, they all gave you a hug from over the table and beside you as your jumbled up thoughts tried to sort themselves out.

When lunch was over and you walked back to your locker, you noticed everyone in the hallway was giving you strange looks and some even whispering amongst themselves when you passed by. Trying to keep your head up, you opened your locker and started to take out the necessary things for your next class when a note fell out. It was in a pink envelope, a heart sticker keeping it closed and it had your name on it when you flipped it over. Seeing how everyone was watching you, you shove it in your bag and opt to open it when you get home. Unfortunately for you, the stares and whispering didn’t let up and by the time you got home, you finally felt like you had some peace.

Instead of going straight inside, you walked around your house and saw Heeseung playing in his backyard with a couple of his friends from earlier. “Hey, ready for that talk?” Heeseung and the others looked your way, a smile being brought upon Heeseung’s lips when he saw you. “Yeah—Jake, tell Jay I’ll be in soon.” Jake gave him a nod and tiredly went inside, leaving you and Heeseung alone. “So, what’s up?” Walking over to the old swing-set he still had, you sit down and laugh at how far down it is to the ground. “Can’t believe we used to fight over whose feet would touch the ground first.” Heeseung joined you, smiling down at his legs before looking over at you. “Yeah, can’t believe you still beat me when I’m literally almost a foot taller than you now.”

“Don’t let the air up there go to your head.” The two of you laughed and reminisced for a moment until you both grew quiet and the lingering questions in the air were waiting to be answered. “I used to like you, a lot actually.” He didn’t meet your eyes, nor did you look in his direction, instead he remained quiet and let you say what you needed to say. “I don’t know exactly when it started, but one day I just couldn’t stop thinking about you and over all these years I never thought I’d be here, saying no to the one thing I always dreamed of.”

“You can’t control how you feel, y/n, if it wasn’t him, it was going to be someone else that caught your eye and unfortunately I was just too late.” Nodding, you felt an overwhelming feeling of sadness wash over you as you got up from his swing. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, I promise you I’m going to be happy as long as you’re happy.” The two of you hugged, embracing one another into a tight squeeze to savor the moment that you both knew was coming. The definition of your friendship would now never be the same, but in the same way it was a beautiful thing to come, even if it broke both of your hearts. “I’m always right next door if he does anything stupid, I mean it, literally throw a brick through my window if he doesn’t treat you right.”

“Don’t you mean you’ll throw a brick through his window if he doesn’t treat me right?” Looking up at him as you two pull back from the hug, he laughs at how he almost doesn’t make sense. “Whichever comes first, just know that a brick will be involved.” Laughing, you wave him goodbye and go back to your house. It was quiet when you got inside, knowing that Jaemin was home. Going straight to your room, you felt that it was safe to now let everything you’ve been bottling up now out, all the times you’ve felt so alone and not wanting to go to anyone was now tumbling out and the tears rolled down your cheeks. Jaemin knew, he always knew when you were sad and he immediately went into your room, meeting you on the floor and scooping you into his arms.

He always said it was a twin thing, how he knew you were sad and how you knew when he was sad. Somehow, after all these years, it still stuck with you both and despite this being the first time you’ve really interacted since your argument, it felt the most comforting. That night the two of you laid up on the couch watching movies of your childhood and ordered in once your parents got home. It was almost therapeutic to spend some quality time with your brother and even if he didn’t ask any questions, you knew he already had the answers he needed.

Later that night, you laid in bed and pondered over if you should read the letter that was left in your locker. Finally deciding on what harm it could possibly do, you got it out from your bag and opened it up. To your surprise, it was written similarly to yours and that in itself was a clue to who this could’ve been from. ‘Dearth favorite na twin, I’m writing this on the same day I found out you were the one who wrote the letter I got. Honestly, it hurt to know it wasn’t directed for me, but somehow I feel the universe knew what it was doing when it wound up in my locker. I regret not kissing you and I regret even more not talking to you afterwards, but maybe I can make up for it by asking you to be my date to the dance. Don’t answer now, answer when the time is right and if you don’t answer at all, I’ll take that as a yes. Love, your secret admirer.’

That night you held the letter to your chest, listening to your own heart beating to the thought of Haechan and rethinking over and over in your head how this all started and where it was now. Although it’s been a bit of an emotional roller coaster, you don’t think you’d change anything and probably for the first time in your life you were looking forward to the dance.

The following days didn’t change much, people still gave you a look in the halls, but Heeseung and you were still pretty friendly both in school and out. It was now the weekend and the Valentine’s Day dance was tonight. To say you were nervous was an understatement, but the girls reassured you that they’d be by your side the entire night. Jaemin advised you to get ready at one of the girls' houses since his friends planned to be at yours and he knew you weren’t ready to see Haechan just yet. Thankfully for you, Giselle said you could all come to her house and the four of you spent the night that Friday and got up early the next morning to prepare yourselves.

“I say we drop our dates and take our little y/nie instead.” Yunjin gave your cheeks a squeeze, mushing your face with her fingers which earned a laugh from Giselle and Chaewon. After swatting her fingers away, you rub out the sore spots. “I told you that I’ll be fine, no one is dropping anything for anybody unless it’s on the dance floor.” Chaewon smacked your arm with a pillow, giggling as she fell over into your lap trying to do so. “That’s so wrong, don’t ever say anything like that again, I swear Jaemin is rubbing off on you.”

“Hello, they’re literally twins, it’d be weird if he didn’t.” Chaewon playfully glared at Giselle's matter of fact statement. “Speaking of twins, your brother wants us to do a group photo when we’re done.” You nod at Yunjin as she grabs her makeup bags and lays them out. She made sure to point out which products she thought would complement each of you, not forgetting her speech about how women don’t need makeup to feel pretty and overall her importance about empowering women. The three of you all looked at her with a smile, knowing she’d go far in life with the way she carries herself. “Enough of that, let’s get some breakfast and some lipstick because we are not ruining this lipstick for a taco later.”

After the three of you headed downstairs and munched away on a late lunch-breakfast, you went back upstairs and took turns showering before getting ready. Meanwhile, back at your house, the boys sat in your living room and played games all afternoon, per usual. “What do you think it’s going to be like tonight?” Renjun, who was seated next to Jeno, asked as he scrolled through his socials and saw the different pictures of people from school getting ready. “Probably lovesick, pink and sparkly.”

“Hey, don’t judge pink, my sister is wearing pink tonight.” Jaemin whipped his head around quick enough to shoot a glare at Jeno. “Half the student-body is going to be wearing pink, it’s literally a valentines dance.” Haechan added in, groaning loudly when he ended up losing his spot in the game and switched out with Jeno. “Speaking of a certain Na twin, she’s been quiet today, is she home?” Renjun asked out of curiosity, not missing the sadness it brought his friend. “No, she stayed at Giselle’s house and they’re getting ready there.”

“They?” Jeno asked, needing clarification. “Giselle, Chaewon, Yunjin and Y/n.” All the boys turned to give Haechan a weird look, the boy giving a shrug in return. “How do you know all my sister's friends' names?” Jaemin asked, raising a brow at Haechan. “She mentioned them when we would pass one another, nothing much about it.” The other three all knew he was bullshitting, not believing him for a second as they snicker amongst themselves. “Bro, we all know you like her, you don’t have to hide it.” Renjun was the first to say what everyone was thinking, making Haechan’s face turn red. “Shut up, I don’t like her—even if I did, she’s my best friend's sister, I’m not that kinda guy.” Jaemin frustratedly throws his controller down into his seat, switching out with Renjun and sitting beside Haechan.

“I know you’re not and I respect you for that, as much as I never thought I’d say this, just date my sister already.” Haechan was more than taken aback by Jaemin’s words, looking at him with wide eyes. “She’s really been down with you not around and I know for a fact that she likes you back.”

“And how are you so sure?” Jeno joins in, looking way too concentrated on the game to be butting in on a conversation. “It’s a twin thing, take that knowledge as you will.” The rest of the evening until they had to get dressed went without you being the topic of conversation, but it doesn’t mean it didn’t leave Haechan’s mind. With the knowledge he now had, he knew exactly what he needed to do when he saw you tonight and it starts out by getting to the dance early.

After you and the girls finished getting dressed, doing your hair and applying minimal makeup, it was time to head out and off to the dance you went after taking way too many pictures for your brother and parents. You were partly nervous to see Haechan in the crowd, but you kept telling yourself to keep it cool if you did. Keep it cool, how hard could that be? Very hard actually, seeing as the moment you walked in, he was near the entrance and looked way too good for your liking. Looking around, Haechan was impatiently waiting for you to arrive, a feeling of relief washing over him when he finally sees you. Your eyes lock with his and for a moment, he can’t seem to catch the breath you took from him. He doesn’t do well in math, but with the light hitting you in just the right spot and you overall looking breathtaking, it’s all adding up in his head how down bad he is for you.

Moving through the people coming in, he directly goes to you and gently grabs your hand. “Hi.” Smiling up at him, you can see the slight shade of pink in his cheeks. “Hi, hyuck.” If he were to fall out and go to heaven now, he would honestly be content with the use of a nickname from you for him. “Wanna take pictures with me?” Nodding, you let him lead you over to the photographer and a sudden sense of deja vu rushed over you as you think back to the day you two danced in the rain. Standing in line, the two of you were next up and after getting in a recommended position, your first picture of the night was taken. “Another one, this time, show me you’re in love.” Nodding at the photographer's second suggestion, you turn your head to Haechan who was leaning in. You weren’t sure where this was going, but you closed your eyes and braced yourself for whatever was going to happen. When his soft lips were met with your forehead, the picture was taken and the both of you left with red cheeks and racing hearts.

The lights weren’t dark just yet, but they were starting to dim as you two lingered around the dance floor. You spotted Heeseung from across the room and he sent you a thumbs up as you held Haechan’s hand. “Alright, let’s kick things off tonight with a special request from a certain someone who’s ready to tell his girl how he feels.” Haechan looked way too nervous to not have anything to do with the random song request as he led you out to the middle of the dance floor. Some students started to step back and give the two of you space as a single light shines down on you both. It started to feel like a movie, only this time it was your life. “Na Y/n, I’ve been waiting for this answer for quite some time now and if it hasn’t been obvious, I’m head over heels for you, so will you do me the honor and be my date to the valentines dance?”

You were sure your face was just as pink as your dress, covering your mouth to hide the fact that it was hung open. “Yes, I’d love to be your date.” As dramatic as it sounds, people clapped around you and when the song started to play, you took his hand and pulled him into your arms. The two of you slow-danced to songs that had your heart melting against his warm touch and the songs that were a little more upbeat was the perfect opportunity for you to ditch your date and dance amongst your friends while all of you smiled back at the boys who watched in envy. After the first couple of hours, you were ultimately exhausted and stepped off the floor to go get something to drink.

Haechan followed behind you, stopping at the drink station while you took the time to rehydrate. “Do you hear that?” He mumbled, staring off at the entrance which also doubled as the exit. “Hear what, hyuck?” A slow grin formed amongst his lips before he grabbed your hand and started to walk away. “Where are we going, hyuck I’m still thirsty!” You tried to protest with him, pulling him back to the station. After thinking you had won, you took another sip before being swept off your feet—literally. Haechan had scooped you up bridal style and started running out the exit with a childlike smile on his face. “Lee Haechan put me dow—oh!” When the two of you were now outside, you realized why he was so eager to come out and immediately started laughing as the two of you felt your clothes soaking up the rain that was falling down.

Putting you down, he immediately pulled you against him and held your waist. “I’m not gonna make the same mistakes I did before.” Smiling softly at him with your hands resting on his shoulders, you rub at his neck. “Making up for lost time, I guess.” He shook his head, laughing under his breath before leaning in and connecting his lips to yours. The feeling felt almost electric, a spark going through your body and spreading chills across your skin. You never knew a kiss, a simple kiss could captivate you the way it is now. Maybe it was because the two of you had longed for this for too long and a mix of the rain and the salt from your sweat coming down onto your lips, whatever it was, you knew you’d made the right decision the day you wrote a failed attempt at a love letter. Even if it didn’t end up in the right locker number, locker #66 would forever be your favorite.

©︎𝐋𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍., 2022

[injoontz]

𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 ⎯⎯ 𝐩.𝐣𝐬

series. love letters pairing. park jisung x fem!oc starring. park jisung, im sohyun (oc) featuring. huang renjun, zhong chenle genre. high school au, fluff warnings. none word count. 3.3k

synopsis. in which park jisung struggles to confess his feelings to his crush song. 10 months ⎯ about wanting to be someone’s lover but they keep treating them like a kid

The only thing he ever knew was her beaming smile and teasing words.

It was endearing.

Kind of.

Actually, Jisung was fed up with it.

Despite that, he never wanted to show it. He didn’t want to say anything for fear that he would upset her. Jisung didn’t want Sohyun to suddenly change how she acted around him because of something he said.

Jisung was always very careful whenever he spent time with Sohyun. He wanted to say it was because she was older than him, but in reality, Jisung knew that he just had absolutely no experience at all when it came to girls.

Im Sohyun was Jisung first girl friend. 

Girl-space-friend. 

Sometimes Jisung resented that.

He was convinced that if Sohyun wasn’t in the grade above him he would be able to act normally around her. Jisung liked to think that if Sohyun were his age, he could confidently confess his feelings to her. Unfortunately for Jisung, she was ten months older than him. 

“What are you daydreaming about this time?” 

Jisung was jolted from his thoughts when Chenle sat down at the desk in front of him. Jisung’s eyes snapped to Chenle and he sighed. Chenle was in Jisung’s grade, but for the first time ever, the two friends weren’t in the same class.

Chenle and Jisung had been in the same class together since they started going middle school. However, despite not being in the same class, Jisung and Chenle were each other’s neighbors, so Jisung saw plenty of Chenle every day. 

Being born less than four months apart, Jisung could comfortably say that he would never be caught dead calling Chenle “hyung”. Jisung didn’t think his pride could handle that.

“Oh,” Chenle smirked, “I know exactly what you’re daydreaming about,”

Jisung made a face, “And what’s that?”

The face that Chenle gave Jisung only made Jisung’s disapproving expression deepen as Chenle leaned closer to Jisung. Jisung leaned away from Chenle but the older boy grabbed him by his collar and yanked him closer.

“This is about Sohyun, right?” 

Jisung could feel Chenle’s smile on his ear as he jolted away from him. Jisung made yet another face at Chenle and shook his head.

“No, why would it be about her?” Jisung denied.

“Denial is a river in Egypt,” Chenle sang.

“You’ve been spending too much time on TikTok,” Jisung rolled his eyes as he shoved his friend’s face away from him.

Chenle shrugged, “Whatever,” he leaned back in his seat and gave Jisung a more serious expression, “Do you really not have any feelings for her?”

Jisung took a moment to think, trying to make it believable. Jisung had kept his feelings for Sohyun a secret pretty well. Even though Chenle was one of Jisung’s closest friends, he was still hesitant to confess his feelings for a senior out loud.

“No,” Jisung said.

“Oh, cool,” Chenle nodded, “One of the guys wants to ask her out so,”

Jisung froze, “Who?” he asked, trying to keep calm. Jisung tried his hardest not to seem eager or shocked by the statement, but in reality, he could feel his chest tighten. Suddenly, Jisung was breathing manually, trying to keep himself from demanding Chenle all the information he knew.

“Renjun,” Chenle replied easily, not picking up on Jisung’s behavior. “He’s in the same class as her, apparently they’ve been getting closer lately,”

Jisung pressed his lips together.

“He was thinking about asking her out after the retreat,” Chenle said.

Jisung just nodded. His cheeks puffed up a bit like they did when he was thinking or unsatisfied with something. Chenle stared at his friend before clearing his throat and jumping to his feet.

“Anyways,” Chenle tried to say, “It’s meeting time right?”

Jisung nodded, “We’re going over the final details for the retreat,” he said, “Has Haeun been talking to you about it?”

Chenle nodded, “Yeah,” he signed as they made their way down the hall to the meeting room, “I think she’s pretty stressed out about her role as the class president. She’s been freaking out about this retreat for the past few weeks,”

Jisung hummed gently. He knew how Haeun got when things stressed her out. Chenle was the student representative for his class but with Haeun in his class, he often heard all of her panicked rants. But despite Chenle’s constant complaints about the girl, Jisung knew that Chenle secretly had a crush on her.

Jisung, himself, was a class representative, and that was the main reason he knew Sohyun. Sohyun was the student council president. Renjun was the vice president.

When Jisung and Chenle made it to the meeting room, almost everyone else was there already. A few people trickled in behind Jisung and Chenle, including Haeun. The girl made her way over and sat down next to Chenle.

“Is everyone here?” Haeun whispered to Chenle as she took out her notebook.

Chenle shook his head, “I think we’re still waiting on some of the third-year reps, and the presidents,”

Haeun sighed as she flipped through the pages of her notebook, “We still have a lot to go over,”

Chenle chuckled, “I think we’re in pretty good condition,”

The door to the meeting room opened again as the last few members of the student council walked in. Jisung’s expression brightened a bit as Sohyun and Renjun stepped into the room. 

Sohyun’s eyes fell on Jisung and she waved to him with a bright smile. Before Jisung could wave back, Sohyun was quickly greeted by her peers, all of whom ran up to her to ask about her week. Sohyun replied to them kind-heartedly, but her eyes kept drifting to Jisung. 

When Sohyun finally managed to get everyone back to their seats, she made her way around and stopped next to Jisung. Her smile was contagious and Jisung couldn’t help but smile right back at her.

“Hi,” he said.

Sohyun smiled, “Hey,”

“Hello,” Renjun appeared behind Sohyun. “You’re blocking the way, Sohyun,” Renjun joked, “Come on, let’s go,” he gently took her arm and pulled her toward their seats leaving Jisung.

Jisung watched as they sat down and turned away. His cheeks puffed up a bit as he let out a sigh. Sohyun glanced at Jisung and noticed his puffy cheeks and smiled to herself. She pulled out her phone and sent a quick to Jisung.

Jisung glanced at his phone and felt his cheeks heat up.

Don’t pout, Jisungie :) The text read.

“Alright,” Sohyun turned back to the group and pulled out her notebook, “let’s get this meeting on the road,” she smiled at the others and they all nodded. 

Jisung tried his hardest to pay attention to the meeting. He really did, but his mind kept wandering to Sohyun. He liked how her delicate features were framed by her long hair. Her eyes crinkled happily whenever someone brought up a good idea. Or her lips would play into a gentle pout when she was thinking hard.

“Last thing,” Sohyun said bringing Jisung out of his trance. “We have funding from the school to buy some materials for s’mores. We just need some volunteers to go out and buy them when we get to the location of our retreat. Unfortunately, that would mean that you might miss some of the activities,”

Some of the student council members all looked around, seeing if anyone would want to volunteer. No one wanted to miss any of the activities during the retreat.

“I’ll go,” Jisung said eventually and raised his hand.

If he was being honest, he didn’t really care if he missed out on some of the retreat activities. They were fun, but Jisung wouldn’t be horribly disappointed if he missed one or two.

“Alright,” Sohyun smiled, “Jisungie, Renjun, me, and it would be nice if one more person joined,” Sohyun looked around the group.

Jisung kicked Chenle from under the table. The boy glared at Jisung, who gave him a pointed look. The two seemed to be having a silent argument with their eyes. Sohyun couldn’t help but find their behavior amusing.

Finally, Chenle sighed and raised his hand.

“I’ll go too,” he said with a defeated look at Jisung.

“Perfect,” she smiled as she wrote down Chenle’s name, “Alright, you are all free to go,” Sohyun said to end the meeting.

As Jisung was packing up he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. Sohyun smiled brightly up at him and Jisung felt his stomach do a little backflip. He immediately felt self-conscious standing next to the girl. Sohyun was tall for a girl but despite that Jisung felt just a bit too tall compared to her. His hair hung too low in his eyes and his lips were suddenly chapped.

“Jisungie, what are your plans for this afternoon?” Sohyun asked.

“Not much,” Jisung said. “Chenle and I were going to head back home,”

Sohyun smiled, “Want to join me and Renjun? We’re going to a cafe,”

Jisung glanced at Renjun, who seemed to be in the middle of a conversation with Chenle. He looked back at Sohyun hesitantly, “Are you sure, noona?” he asked. 

In his mind, if Renjun was planning on confessing to Sohyun, it meant that Sohyun must have shown some sort of interest in Renjun to have the latter convinced that it would be a good idea to confess. He didn’t want to come in between them if that was the case.

Sohyun laughed at Jisung’s nervousness, “You’re so cute,” she gently pinched Jisung’s cheek, to which he just rubbed it gently when she let go. “Of course, you can join us.”

Jisung blushed at Sohyun’s comment, “Right,” he looked away, suddenly having trouble meeting Sohyun’s bright eyes. 

She seemed to notice his nervousness and couldn’t help but suppress a smile. Sohyun pressed her lips tightly together and pretended to rub her nose to hide the downturned smile that forced its way to her face.

When the four got to the cafe, Sohyun offered to go place the order for the group. As she went to the counter, the three boys found a table by the window to wait for her to return. Jisung sat down and pulled his phone out to start playing his game. Renjun glanced at Jisung before looking at Chenle.

“Hey, Jisung,” Renjun said eventually.

“Hmm?” Jisung asked not looking away from his game.

“Do you have feelings for Sohyun?”

Jisung paused and looked up at Renjun. The older boy seemed to be very serious about the topic and it made Jisung fidget in his seat.

“Uh, no,” Jisung said.

“That sounded like a question,” Renjun replied.

“Hyung, let’s talk about this later,” Jisung said trying to evade the topic. But now Renjun was giving Jisung a funny look. Jisung pressed his lips together and looked away. His eyes drifted to Sohyun as she made her way back.

As Sohyun sat down next to Renjun, she noticed the oddly tense air between the three boys. “They said it would be out in a few minutes,” she smiled trying to diffuse the tension. Renjun nodded and turned to Chenle with a smile.

“Anything new you want to tell us about?” Renjun smiled. “Maybe between you and Haeun?”

Chenle shook his head, “Not to you,” he rolled his eyes and Renjun reached over to grab Chenle by the ear.

“Hey, that’s ‘hyung’ to you, you little brat,” Renjun scolded Chenle.

Sohyun smiled at the boy’s bantering and glanced at Jisung. Their eyes met and he quickly tore them away. His lips pressed into a tight line as he turned his attention back to the phone, a light pink dusting his cheeks.

– – –

“Did we get everything we needed?” Sohyun asked as Chenle and Jisung joined her and Renjun in the line for the cash register.

Renjun glanced back at Jisung, who held a whole basket of marshmallows in his hand. He turned forward again, counting the money that the school had given them. Jisung cleared his throat and nodded in response to Sohyun.

It had been a while since Renjun confronted Jisung about his feelings toward Sohyun. For the most part, the boys had gone back to normal. But whenever Sohyun was with the two there was a tension that pulled between the two.

“Alright,” Sohyun smiled as she took the basket from Jisung. She gently ruffled his hair, “You’re so helpful, Jisungie” she beamed at him, as an older sister would to a younger brother.

Jisung pouted and Sohyun’s smile only brightened. He hated being treated like a child, especially when it came to Sohyun.

“Cutie,” she cooed before turning to the cashier and placing all their supplies down. Once the materials were paid for, the four decided to spend a little time walking around the area before heading back to the retreat location. 

Sohyun and Renjun walked side by side talking about something that neither Chenle nor Jisung could hear. Chenle slid in next to Jisung and elbowed him in the side.

“What?” Jisung rolled his eyes.

“You like her,” he stated more than asked.

“It doesn’t matter,” Jisung replied.

“It does,” Chenle shook his head, “Because Renjun likes her too,”

Jisung frowned, “Well, lucky him. At least he’s not treated like a younger brother,”

Chenle frowned and opened his mouth to say something when Renjun stepped toward the boys. They both paused and looked toward the older boy, who seemed to be avoiding eye contact with them.

“Can we talk?” he asked Jisung.

Chenle looked back and forth between the two before rushing toward Sohyun, pulling her away to a food stand nearby. Jisung watched, his mouth slightly agape at his friend’s willingness to ditch him.

“Hey, Jisung,” Renjun said.

“Hmm?” Jisung immediately turned to his friend.

“I confessed to Sohyun,”

Jisung froze. His heart suddenly beat loudly in his ears and his hands tensed. He wanted to be happy for Renjun, but inside Jisung was screaming. He hated the idea of Sohyun possibly dating someone else. He didn’t want her to date someone.

Suddenly, Jisung was regretting everything he had done that entire year. He regretted not making more of an effort to spend time with Sohyun. He regretted not trying to act more mature so that she wouldn’t treat him like a kid.

He wanted to be the one that she could count on. He wanted to be the one that she could lean on and go to when she had a rough day. He didn’t want to be the “younger brother” friend. He didn’t want Sohyun to see him as a kid.

Even so, Jisung couldn’t tell Renjun that.

“That’s great, hyung,” Jisung smiled.

Renjun gave Jisung a look, he noticed Jisung’s tightly clenched hands despite his face smiling. Jisung’s body was tense and rigid but he still managed to put on a pretty good act. Renjun couldn’t help but chuckle at the younger boy.

“I got rejected,” Renjun said.

“What-?”

“She said that she likes someone else,” Renjun cut Jisung off.

Jisung couldn’t tell if he was relieved or upset. Of course, Jisung felt bad for his friend, but he also couldn’t help but feel a little relieved. Sohyun didn’t like Renjun.

“You should confess to her,” Renjun said as the two started walking toward Sohyun and Chenle.

“What?” Jisung asked in shock.

“I mean, you like her, right?”

“Yeah, but-” 

“Then just confess,” Renjun smiled. He stopped a few feet away from Sohyun and Chenle and turned to face Jisung with a bright smile, “Something tells me that it will work out,”

– – –

Jisung could tell that Chenle and Renjun were scheming. Ever since Renjun told Jisung to confess to Sohyun, the two of them had been slowly getting further and further away from them. Whenever Jisung tried to sneak closer to them, they would shove him away

If Sohyun sensed anything, she didn’t show it. She would give Jisung a bright smile and either pinch his cheeks or mess up his hair. 

“Hey,” Chenle called to the two, “Renjun and I are going to run back to the store to buy some drinks,”

“Oh, we’ll go with,” Sohyun said.

“Don’t worry,” Renjun waved his hand, already turning around to walk away, “It’ll only take a moment, we’ll meet you at the bus stop,”

Jisung gave a panicked look at the two boys, who only smiled at him brightly. Chenle winked at Jisung as he threw his arm around Renjun’s shoulder and the two boys disappeared. Jisung watched his friends disappear, an anxious feeling settling in.

“Jisungie,” Sohyun said causing Jisung to look down at the girl. “Let’s walk around a little more since they’ll take some time,”

Jisung nodded hesitantly and followed Sohyun. He walked behind her, watching as her long hair swayed back and forth. In the back of his mind, Renjun’s words kept repeating in his head.

“Just confess, something tells me that it will work out,”

Jisung could feel his heart hammering against his chest. Jisung fidgetted with his hands, unsure of where to hold them. His mouth suddenly went dry and he could feel his chest tighten in anticipation.

Sohyun hummed gently to herself, her hands held behind her back as the bag of marshmallows bumped into the back of her leg.

“Noona,” Jisung said staring at the back of Sohyun’s head. “I like you,”

There was only silence.

Why is there no response? Jisung thought to himself. Did I say it in my head?

 “I know,” Sohyun finally said. 

Jisung stopped. Sohyun stopped as well and turned to smile at Jisung. Her smile was no different than the ones that she usually gave him. If Jisung’s confession had her flustered, there was absolutely no sign on her face.

Jisung frowned gently. She didn’t take him seriously. She thought he was just joking.

“I’m being serious,”

“Who said I didn’t take it that way?” Sohyun smiled at Jisung. She turned on her heels and started to continue walking. Jisung followed after her a few paces behind. His eyes stuck to the back of her head.

Did I just get rejected? Jisung blinked in confusion. 

“Jisung,” Sohyun stopped and smiled brightly at Jisung, “I like you too. Will you go out with me?”

The slow widening of his eyes only made Sohyun’s smile brighten. She laughed gently at his expression.

“Y-yeah,” Jisung stuttered. He felt his face heat up and quickly looked away from her. 

Sohyun smiled and started walking again. “We should go, hopefully, Renjun and Chenle aren’t waiting for us at the bus stop,”

Jisung nodded and started to follow after Sohyun. His mind was still blank. Somehow he expected his confession to be much more… dramatic? Well, no. Maybe not dramatic, but he expected more of a response.

“Noona,” Jisung said, catching Sohyun’s attention, “How can you reply to my confession so nonchalantly? Were you not nervous at all?”

Sohyun looked up and Jisung and smirked, “Why? Should I have made a heart-racing confession?”

“No, it’s just,” Jisung looked away, his cheeks and ears suddenly feeling hot. He felt like a kid whenever he was with her. “I felt like my heart was going to explode. You didn’t seem fazed at all by my confession,”

Sohyun laughed gently, “If you didn’t like my reply, then you can always confess to me again,”

Jisung watched as she walked away, her hair swishing back and forth. A smile gently pushed its way onto his face and he took a few quick strides to fall in beside her. He reached down to take it the bag of s’mores materials away from her and then slipped his hand into hers.

“No, it was perfect,”

©𝐢𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐳, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

[atinyjules]

RELY ON ME THE WAY I

DO FT. LEE HAECHAN

Lean on me and I promise I'll hold you tight.

Snippet

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

[markiemelon]

tall boy＾＾

fluff ☆彡 {lighthearted}

tallboy!johnny ♡ drabble

pairing: short gn!reader x tall classmate!johnny

highschool setting | highschool au

short but sweet ☆〜

johnny has always teased you.

you’ve known each other since 4th grade yet still throughout your high school years, johnny never misses an opportunity to get you worked up.

even though he was really only an inconvenience, you enjoyed having classes with johnny.

“hey give it back!”

you whine as johnny lifted up your pencil case higher into the air, extending his arm way up out of your reach, taking it as far as stepping up onto a chair, allowing him to briefly brush against the considerably low ceiling with his fingertips.

“mm-mm.”

johnny proudly shakes his head no.

you’ve watched johnny grow up. you’ve seen how he’s changed and grown, and how much taller he’s gotten. and as much as you hated it, for some reason your heart couldn’t help but flutter a little when he did things like this to tease you, taking advantage of the huge height different between the two of you.

“i said give it back you bozo.”

you jumped up and down and flailed your arms in the air in hopes you could grasp onto your belongings. you only looked ridiculous.

his lips curled into a smile.

“and what if i don’t...” johnny said tauntingly as he lowered his head to your level, keeping his chin up, squinting his eyes as he shook his head side to side to appear playfully intimidating.

a bit flustered at the sudden proximity of his face to yours, you tried to find your words.

“then i’ll- then i’ll- i’ll-”

you were cut off by the abrupt silence of the room and the familiar voice of your teacher.

johnny eagerly rushed back to his desk.

all the attention is on you. confused, you look around and notice all the heads turned your direction…your hands still in the air, slowly making their way back to the sides of your torso.

“good morning students, welcome to class.” your teacher cleared his throat. “y/n, do we have a problem here?”

you were bright red from the embarrassment of your entire class staring right at you after making a scene.

“no sir… my apologies.” you blurted out with cracks in your voice.

johnny glared at you from the side of his eye in amusement, but also just as much fear, as you locked eyes with him.

“johnny suh i’m gonna kill you…” you threatened under your breath, while giving an awkward reassuring smile to your teacher before heading to your seat.

johnny tensed up.

hi this is the first thing like this that ive ever written so ya i hope you liked it

also i have no idea what im doing

-🍉

[kaesficrecarchive]

[mark x donghyuck]

you and i, seriously by madlife (1/1 | 17,548 | T)

Donghyuck faced Mark, only to find him staring at him. Out of panic, and being the cool guy that he was of course, Donghyuck winked. And then he spun around and went to the classroom, yelling, “What’s taking you guys so fucking long!”

(Mark is graduating, Donghyuck needs to confess and he has never procrastinated this BAD before.)

(author)

[streamburst]

✧ BENNET+ RAZOR head — cannons!

남준   ── modern YAN! school AU

┆ Bennet

[❝ Awh geez this is embarrassing!❞ ]

⇢ Bennet is a junior,And a reckless kid,Even tho he’s still quite lovable,He’s always getting himself in trouble to try and impress you!,Sometimes you wish he wasn’t so naive,Always falling for the seniors tricks!,And he always makes a fool of himself,The cafeteria floor is soon to be his seat since he always falls,Sometimes you can’t even tell if it was on purpose or not!,He’s always so happy around you,Giggling,Somehow you two always end up on the floor with him on top of you with a bright red face!

┆ Razor

[❝huh..what’s that!❞ ]

⇢ A weird one..Not in a bad way!,But there are rumors about him,saying things as he was raised by Wolfs,Some people think he’s just a weird furry,But he isn’t so bad!,You know him since him and bennet hang out,He’s abit..Much..But he is quite nice to you!,Besides the sniffing..Oh!,But he always brings you food and snacks so that’s a bonus!,Something you find weird is how he’s always so close to you,He always rubbing against you too..

┆ poly

⇢ If these boys teamed up you would never be one again!,Quite literally...,Razor would be by you half the day and bennet the other half!,Your basically with them 24/7,And don’t even think about running off!,Bennet would 100% guilt trip you!,Razor would be so sad and disappointed!,He would be 10x worse then bennet!,You can’t escape these 2 cuties so be prepared!

[themotherofcat]

'circus' - nomin, chensung

Moonlight Hill has a lot of secrets that Jaemin wants to open up and explore. The biggest riddle for him is Jeno. And no matter what, Jaemin going to know what that boy tries to hide.

main characters

jaemin

'They, in fashionable T-shirts, are the same, similar to each other, albeit different. Ordinary. For Jaemin this word sounded like an insult. Regular jeans, T-shirts, sneakers. Girls who try to make themselves more beautiful with the same make-up. Jaemin is different.'

jeno

'If 99.9% of schoolchildren were an open book, then Jeno was that hundredth of a percent that cannot be known even by reading his thoughts. And the more time Jaemin spends at this school, the more he wants to stay'

who's the only one that jeno follows?

jisung

'Jisung is wearing a tracksuit, hair is casually falling over his face, which makes him constantly push it to his side. A thin face, sharp cheekbones, sunken cheeks: Jaemin is sure under the swollen fabric of his clothes is a body that can be used to count the bones'

chenle

'Zhong deserved a good attitude due to his own lightness and absolute harmlessness. He was neither fish nor meat, except that he was appropriate to raise others' moods and did not clash with anyone. Chenle was a person who laughed at all jokes, even if they weren't funny'

renjun

'Renjun was different. He needs to maintain a reputation, which means: “some” with the main beauty of the school, being an excellent student, organizer of all school events, and he is also a great player because it wasn't in vain that he earned the trust of an entire football team'

yeri

'yerim still was just yeri. pretty neighborhood girl with freckles on her nose and a wide smile even if she's crying. girl from a near house. simple, ordinary, and unremarkable'

!SPOILERS!

haechan and mark

"i've met mark at jaemin' house", jeno smoke and hands cigarette to donghyuck that just snorts at that. "do you think he does the same thing to him as he did to jisung?" "we both know that he is not like that. what then, what now, mark had no desire to do what I did."

addition to the case, hints.

'Yuta looks at him in silence, and then turns to the mirror and stares blankly at the reflection for a few seconds as if turning over the deep pages of memory.

“Ask your father about Na Riel"

bonus characters: KARINA, jimin

'jaemin figured out that jimin was doing something related to cinema and movies but didn't get into her profile for too deep so as not to lose his good mood, still being rather wary of her and her relationship with jeno'

[ohhmydyosfics]

(Nohyuck) flares

Donghyuck has many hiding spots but Jeno knows them all.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10524747

[gonelike-ach00]

MAIN MASTERLIST

Fanfics on:

NCT, Wayv, Stray Kids, Etc.

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I am also on [patreon] for early access to chapters

[jenoroyals]

Cigarettes After Sex - Lee Jeno

pairing : jeno x fem!reader

synopsis : Starting your first year of college in a different country was exciting to you. Everything fell into place - your roommate, your friends, and even your apartment. The only thing that didn’t was Lee Jeno - your roommate’s boyfriend’s best friend.

word count : 17.7K words

content/warnings : college au!, fluff, angst, strangers to lovers?, one bed trope, smoking usage, heavy drinking usage, cursing, cheating (not jeno or mc), perv!jeno, semi sexual content, etc.

featuring : yunjin (lesaraffim), mina (former gugudan), jaemin (nct), mark (nct), haechan (nct), renjun (nct), chenle (nct), jisung (nct), giselle (aespa), & shotaro (riize).

During your childhood you dreamed of growing up, being on your own and going out was all you’ve ever wanted. Hearing stories from your older relatives about how wild they were in college just made it more severe.

“Yn? What college are you thinking about?” Your older sister asks.

You think for a moment before replying. “Well, I was thinking of Seoul National University.” You say and she furrows her brows.

“Well, that’s far from home.” She says, staring at you.

“I know but they have a great nursing program.” You defend while looking at her.

“Schools around here have great nursing programs too.” Your sister argues and you shake your head.

“Not like the one over there.” You say and she sighs defeatedly.

“Can you even speak the language?" Your sister asks and you nod your head.

“Yes, I took classes all throughout high school. I’m basically fluent.” You say and she scoffs lightly.

“Nerd.” She says and you slap her arm. “Hey!” She laughs and looks at you before getting serious again.

“Have you talked to mom and dad?” She asks and you shake your head no.

“I’m pretty sure they won’t mind.” You say and look at her before getting up. “I might not even get accepted. I’m still thinking about what colleges to apply to.”

“Well, as your older sister, I don’t want you to go that far. But, I know that you’ve always taken your education seriously, so if that's where you want to go, then you should apply.” Your sister says and you snort.

“I was going to anyway.” You say with a roll of your eyes, jokingly.

She pushes your shoulder and mumbles “Whatever.” before walking out of your room with a laugh.

You walk over to your computer and start looking at the application to SNU. Sighing, you click on the application and start typing in your information. “Let’s hope.”

You smile thinking about that memory while packing your bags. Tomorrow, you’ll leave your hometown and go to South Korea.

“Are you excited?” Your mom asks while zipping up one of your luggages.

“Yeah I am.” You say and she smiles while looking at you.

“Is your roommate nice?” She asks and you nod with a smile.

“Yeah, we’ve been talking a lot lately. She seems nice.” You say and your mom asks for her name.

“Yunjin. She was born in Korea but moved to New York when she was little.”

You were online looking at the dorms, hoping to find a suitable roommate when an ad listing popped up. Curiously, you clicked on it and found a girl named Yunjin who was looking for a roommate to help pay for her apartment. She looked nice and the apartment was close to the university.

Hesitantly, you clicked on the apply button and started reading the conditions before applying. You were sure that you could pay for half of the rent with your card. Your parents were both brand owners so money wasn’t an issue.

The next day, you received an email saying that she would be glad to have you as a roommate and that's when a new friendship formed.

Your mom nods her head and starts running her hands through your hair. “I’m gonna miss you.” She says and sniffles which causes you to turn around.

“Mom, don’t cry. I’ll be okay, I promise.” You say to her and hug her.

“I know you will, I’m just gonna miss my baby.” She says and you coo at her.

“I’m okay.” You mom says and pulls away while wiping her eyes.

“Now finish packing up. I’m going to start preparing dinner.” She says and walks out of your room.

You sigh and grab your phone, looking at the messages you received.

facetime? - yunjin

You quickly type a response before you get an incoming call from her. “Hello?” You ask while placing your phone on your vanity.

“Hi! I’m so excited to move in and finally meet you in person.” She says and you laugh while packing away your accessories.

“Me too! I can’t believe we’re finally going to meet tomorrow.” You say and look at her through your phone.

“Are you still packing, girl?” She asks and laughs.

“Just last minute things.” You say and she nods her head.

“What time does your flight land?” She asks and you quickly look at your boarding pass.

“I should be landing at 5pm. You’re picking me up right?” You ask her and she nods. “Yes I am.”

The two of you stayed on the phone until it was time for you to go eat dinner. After dinner you showered and laid down on your bed. You couldn’t sleep due to the excitement and nerves. You were going to be far away from home, your family, everything you’ve ever known.

It was like you were finally starting your life, this was all that you dreamed of while growing up. Now that it’s finally happening, you couldn’t help but be nervous. You don’t even remember falling asleep but somehow you get woken up by your alarm.

Your flight was at 5am and you had to be there about an hour early. You woke up at around 3am and walked into your bathroom. You brushed your teeth and hair, trying to make yourself look comfy but somewhat presentable since you were going to be on a flight for 12 hours.

After getting ready and grabbing your bags, you brought them downstairs where your parents were already preparing snacks and food for your flight.

“Are you ready, sweetie?” Your dad asks and hands you the bag of food and snacks.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” He nods and hugs you, squeezing you tightly.

“My baby girl is leaving the nest.” He says and you laugh.

“I’ll be back dad. I’m not leaving forever.” You say and he laughs along with your mom.

“Okay, we should start leaving. It’s already 3:45.” Your mom says and starts grabbing your luggage.

You follow her out into the car with 2 suitcases in your hands, along with the bag full of food. After putting everything into the car, the three of you get inside the car and drive to the airport.

Your parents followed you all the way through the airport until they couldn’t anymore. You turned to face them and hugged them tightly.

“I’m going to miss you guys.” You say and they both sniffle, trying hard not to cry.

“Be safe please.” You mom says and you nod your head.

“I will, I promise.”

“Flight 423 to Seoul will now be boarding.” Was heard over the intercom.

“I love you guys.” You say to them and hug them tight once again before turning around.

You wave goodbye to them before you can’t see their figures anymore. Pushing your glasses up, you make your way into the first class section of the plane. Setting your bag down, you quickly take your glasses off and look out the window.

Another 20 minutes went by before the plane started to take off. You watch out the window as the city lights start becoming smaller and smaller.

Goodbye home.

-

After a 12 hour flight, you finally landed in Korea. Grabbing your bags from the baggage claim, you walked out into the front of the airport, hoping to see Yunjin.

“Yn!” You hear your name being called and turn to where the voice came from.

You let out a squeal and run towards Yunjin. She wraps her arms around you and laughs.

“You’re finally here!” She says and you nod your head before pulling away.

“The air feels different.” You joke and she laughs.

“You haven’t even stepped outside yet.”

“I know but it just does.” You say and she laughs before helping you with your suitcases. The two of you walk out of the airport and to her car.

As you’re looking out the car window, you see different types of scenery. Buildings, people, trees, rivers, and bicyclists.

“Oh wow, the college looks huge.” You say and she laughs.

“I’m so not excited for school.” She says and you nod your head.

“Me too. Thank god we have two weeks before we have to start attending classes.” You say and the both of you continue to talk until she parks inside the apartment parking garage.

She popped the trunk open so you could get your luggages out. She helped you with them before the both of you walked towards the apartment building. There were two different apartment buildings.

“Okay, so we are in the building on the left on the fourth floor.” She says.

You follow her and get into an elevator. The elevator arrives on the fourth floor and you guys walk down the hall.

“124...125…126…and 127.” She says to herself and turns to you.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes, I’m dying to just lay down for a bit.” You say and she laughs before unlocking the door.

The walls were white with pictures and decorations adorning them. She had black leather couches surrounding a glass coffee table.

“You can put your stuff in here.” She says and leads you to a room. There was a queen sized bed with black bedding.

“I hope you like it. I wasn't sure how to decorate it.” She says and you shake your head.

“It’s perfect.” You say and she nods her head.

“What time are we going to dinner?” You ask her, starting to unpack.

“At 6, and I hope you don’t mind but I invited my boyfriend and some of our friends.” She says and you shake your head again.

“Not at all. I’m excited to make new friends.” You say and unzip another suitcase.

“What’s his name?” You ask while she helps unbag your skincare and makeup onto the vanity table.

“Jaemin.” She answers and looks at you.

“You know, his friends are also super cute.”

“Yunjin don’t.” You say jokingly and she laughs.

“What? I’m just saying. You said that you’ve never dated before. Why not try new experiences? I mean, that’s what you’re here for right?” She asks and you sigh before looking at her.

“Well yeah but-”

“But, nothing. Come on, you’re in a foreign country, you’re sweet, and you’re hot. You could probably get anyone you want.” She says, walking closer to you.

“Let’s just see how this goes.” You say and she smiles while clapping her hands.

After unpacking, you showered and started getting ready for dinner. After applying makeup and doing your hair, you looked through the drawers for clothes. You decided on a pair of low rise jeans with a baby pink cropped tank top.

After getting ready you grabbed your phone to look at the time but the doorbell rang. Confused, you walked out of your room and knocked on Yunjin’s bedroom door.

“Ynn, it’s my boyfriend and our friends. Can you let them in?” She yells from the other side of the door.

You yell back a yes and walk to the front door to open it. Three guys all dressed differently looked back at you in a confused manner.

“Are you sure this is the right one, dude?” The guy in a plain white long sleeve asks.

“Yes I’m sure. Hi, you must be the new roommate.” The guy in the middle asks.

“Yeah, I’m Yn. Nice to meet you. Please, come in.” You open the door wider for them to enter.

“Yunjin’s in the room.” You tell him and he nods before walking into her room.

Feeling awkward, you gesture for the other two boys to sit in the living room. They both walked over to the couch and sat down.

“Hello, I’m Mark. It's nice to meet you.” The guy who spoke earlier says and smiles at you.

He holds his hand out as a gesture for you to shake it. You grab his hand and smile back at him. “Yn.”

“I’m Jeno.” The other one says.

You quickly look at him and observe him. He was dressed in black ripped jeans with a plain white tee and a black leather jacket.

He was oozing with charisma, from the way he talked to the way he dressed. He had rings adorned on his fingers, paired with silver metal bracelets and multiple necklaces around his neck. You almost felt intimidated by him until he flashed a bright smile at you. His eyes formed into cute little crescents of the moon.

“Nice to meet you.” You say and walk away to grab your shoes. You grab your pink dunks and walk over to the couch to put your shoes on but before you could, Mark speaks up.

“Where’s the bathroom?” He asks and you direct him to it before continuing to put on your shoes.

As you bent down to slip your foot in, Jeno noticed how he could see your cleavage poking through the opening of your tank top. He smirks and licks his lips before looking back at his phone. After putting your shoes on you sat there in silence.

“Nice shoes.” He says and you look at him.

“Thank you.” You look down to his shoes to compliment him as well when you notice he’s wearing the same shoes as you just in black.

“You too.” You shyly say and he chuckles softly.

Jaemin and Yunjin finally walk back into the living room.

“Is everyone here?” She asks and Jamein shakes his head.

“We’re waiting for Mina.” Jaemin says and your eyebrows furrow.

“Who’s Mina?” You ask and Yunjin walks over to come sit next to you.

“Mark’s girlfriend. She lives further away from campus.” Yunjin says and you nod your head. Just then, Mark walks out and sits back down where he was sitting previously.

The atmosphere was a little awkward and you felt yourself curl up into a ball. You could feel Jeno’s eyes on you but you choose to ignore it, looking at anywhere but him. Finally, the doorbell rings signaling Mina’s arrival. Mark goes to open the door and greets her with a kiss.

“Okay, let’s go.” Yunjin says and walks to Jaemin, intertwining their hands. You’re the last one out of the door and you turn around to lock the door humming to yourself.

You turn back around and see Jeno waiting for you as the rest of them start walking to the parking garage.

“You didn’t have to wait for me.” You joke and he laughs.

“It’s okay, I didn’t want to really be with the couples anyway.” He says and you laugh, the two of you trailing behind the rest of the group.

Mark and Mina walk towards her car and you follow the rest of them into what you assume to be Jeno’s car since Jaemin was getting in the back seat. You turn to look at Yunjin who wiggles her eyebrows at you teasingly. You jokingly roll your eyes and get into the passenger seat.

“The usual?” Jeno asks and Yunjin nods her head.

He waits a moment for his phone to connect to the car before pulling out of the parking garage and heading to the restaurant. The music started to play and you recognized the song.

Apocalypse - Cigarettes After Sex

“I love this song.” You say out loud, hoping to make conversation.

“Yeah?” He asks and looks over at you quickly.

“Yeah, I love Cigarettes After Sex.” You say and softly laugh.

“What’s your favorite song?” You ask and turn to look at him with a smile.

“Probably ‘K.’ What about you?” He replies and you stop and think for a moment.

“It’s hard to say because I love all of their songs but I’ve been listening to ‘Sunsetz’ a lot recently.” You say and start playing with your fingers.

The conversation dies again but this time it’s not an awkward silence, it’s a comfortable one. A while later, you guys finally reach the restaurant and Jeno parks the car. The four of you get out of the car and meet up with Mark and Mina who were inside the restaurant already.

The six of you sit down at the table and start looking at the menu. It was a Korean Barbeque place. You were at the end of the table, closest to the wall with Yunjin on your left and across from her was Jaemin. Mark and Mina took up the remaining seats.

You look at the menu, debating on what you should get.

“The spicy pork belly is pretty good.” Jeno says across from you. You look up at him and smile.

“Yeah I was thinking about getting that.” You say and he smiles before looking back down at the menu.

“So, Yn. What are you majoring in?” Mina asks you before taking a sip of her water.

“Oh I’m majoring in nursing right now.”

“Oh, no way! Me too!.” Jaemin says and holds out his hand for a high five. You shyly high five him and the conversation continues.

Mark and Mina were both in their second year of college. Mark wanted to become a music producer and his girlfriend wanted to become a veterinarian. Yunjin and Jaemin were in the same year as you and like yourself, Jaemin wanted to become a nurse. You knew that Yunjin wanted to be a lawyer from previous conversations.

Jeno kept quiet most of the time, letting his friends talk before he did. After Jaemin finished speaking you turned to Jeno with questioning eyes.

“What about you?” You ask him and he softly smiles.

“I want to be a car designer.” He sheepishly says and you nod your head.

“That’s cool! I think you’d be good at it.” You say and he laughs.

“How do you know?” He asks teasingly and you look back at him.

“Your car! You added on all of the modifications right?” You say and he nods his head.

The four friends look at each other with knowing smiles before looking back at you and Jeno.

Before you know it, the food arrived. Jeno grabbed a piece of the spicy pork belly and placed it into your bowl of rice.

“Thank you.” You sheepishly say before eating it.

Everyone was so focused on eating that there was almost no conversation. Small conversations here and there but not too long lasting.

After 3 rounds of meat, everyone was stuffed. You wanted to treat everyone since they made you feel so welcomed but Jaemin beat you to it. He slid his card into the tab and gave it back to the server. You pouted a bit and Jeno noticed.

The way your cheeks filled up with air and your lips curled into each other, pressing against each other. He softly laughed and looked away.

“You guys want to drink tonight?” Mark suggests and everyone agrees.

“Yn and I can go grab alcohol and meet you guys back at the apartment.” Jeno says and everyone agrees with the plans.

You softly smile at the thought of spending time alone with him. You walk to his car and get in the passenger seat while waving bye to everyone else. Jeno starts up the car and the music starts playing.

Sunsetz - Cigarettes After Sex

You smile at the familiar instrumental intro of the song. You look over at him and he already has a smile forming on his face.

“Do you want to play 21 questions? We can get to know each other that way.” He asks and you nod your head yes.

“So, what made you come to Korea?” He asks you when the car gets to a red light.

“They have a good nursing program. One of the best in the whole world.” He nods his head at your answer.

You think for a moment before a question pops up in your head.

“How did you meet Jaemin?” You ask him and he softly laughs at your question.

“We were deskmates in middle school. I met him when I was 14.” He says and you smile at the thought of a younger Jeno.

The rest of the car ride was filled with questions bouncing back and forth between the two of you. Walking into the convenience store, you ask him a question.

“What’s your favorite color?” You ask and he laughs loudly at it.

“That’s what you’re asking?” He asks and laughs again when you nod your head.

The both of you walk over to the section with the soju bottles and he grabs a case that has 12 bottles in it.

“Blue.” He answers while walking to the register.

He started pulling out his wallet but you were faster. You tapped your card and when Jeno hears the noise the machine makes he looks up.

“My treat.” You say and he sighs softly.

“You didn’t have to.” He says and you shake your head.

“Your turn.” You say to him, gesturing for him to ask a question. Before he can ask you a question his name gets called.

You turn to look at the girl who called his name. She was gorgeous. Her hair was in all the right places, her makeup looked flawless, and her outfit looked like it was chosen by a stylist. Feeling insecure you wrap your arms around your body and avert your eyes.

“Jeno? That is you!” The girl exclaims and runs over to bring him into a hug.

Jeno keeps his arms down by his sides, not reciprocating the hug back. She pulls away from his embrace and pouts at him.

“What? You don’t even want to hug me?” She asks, batting her eyes at him but he keeps a stoic poker face.

“What are you doing here Giselle? I thought you were in Japan.” He says calmly and she turns her head to look at you. Ignoring his question she walks up to you.

“Hi, I’m Giselle. Jeno’s girlfriend.” She says and your eyes widen a bit.

She holds her hand out for you to take but before you could Jeno steps in front of you and blocks you from her vision, his taller frame towering over her.

“Ex. Girlfriend.” He clarifies and she rolls her eyes.

“Same thing. Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?” She says with a smile that looked all too fake.

He sighs and turns to look at you before grabbing your hand in his.

“She doesn’t need to be introduced to you.” He says bitterly.

His left hand wrapping around yours while holding the case of soju bottles in his other hand. He glares at the girl in front of you guys before dragging you out of the convenience store.

He pops open his trunk and lets go of your hand to place the case of alcohol in there. You awkwardly observe him let out a sigh before walking to the passenger door. He gets in the driver's seat and turns the car on.

You look at him and frown when you see his eyebrows furrowed with his eyes closed. Hesitantly, you poke at his eyebrows and his eyes open in shock.

“It’s not good to furrow your eyebrows for a long time.” You say and smile at him.

He softly smiles at you while looking into your eyes. Seeing him up close like this made you realize just how attractive he is. His strong and arched brows, his mole under his eye, his perfect nose, his full lips, even his chiseled jaw. Realizing what you’re doing, you quickly turn away from him and look straight out the window of the car and he softly laughs.

“I’m sorry.” He says and you frown before looking at him.

“Why are you apologizing?” You ask and he sighs again.

“Giselle.” He says, pointing out the elephant in the room. You nod your head and look at him furrowing his eyebrows again.

“We uh… we broke up last year. We dated for about two years before she had to move to Japan. Her dad got a job transfer over there and so her whole family moved. We tried to do long distance and it was going well, until I found out that she cheated on me.” He says and closes his eyes again.

You pout again and look at the man in front of you. How could anyone ever cheat on him? He was so damn perfect. Sure, you only met him today but you knew how genuine he was.

“I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.” You say and he softly chuckles.

You quickly look down for a second, trying to focus your attention on your hands in your lap. You slightly jump at the feeling of his hands under your chin. He grabs your chin in between his thumb and pointer finger, your eyebrows furrow feeling the coldness of his rings directly on your skin.

He tilts your face up to look back into his eyes and smirks. You slowly swallow the saliva in your mouth and look into his brown eyes.

“Don’t apologize, you did nothing wrong.” He says and you slowly nod your head.

He lets go of your chin and you sit further back into your seat. He laughs at your action and puts his car in reverse, heading back to your shared apartment with Yunjin.

-

“Finally!” You hear Yunjin say as you open the door.

“Sorry, we had to drive to the one further away because the other one didn’t have any soju in stock.” Jeno lies easily through his teeth.

You furrow at his words before plastering a smile onto your face. “Yeah, the detour was like 20 minutes.” You say, hoping that it made the lie more believable.

Jeno smiles at you, backing him up before placing the case of soju on the counter. He opens up the box and pulls out 3 bottles from it. You walk over to help him put the rest in the fridge and he grabs your hand. You gasp softly and look up at him.

“Thanks.” He says and you nod your head, knowing what he was referring to.

Jaemin had suggested a game of ‘Truth or Drink’ so the six of you were sat around the coffee table . Everyone agreed to let loose and be completely honest, no matter how raw the questions were and if they didn’t want to answer it, they could just take a shot of soju.

“Okay, Yn.” Jaemin starts off and you look at him.

“What was your first kiss like?” He finishes and everyone looks at you, waiting for you to answer.

“Hm, my first kiss.” You repeat and cringe thinking about it.

“It was gross. He kept trying to push his tongue in my mouth.” You say and everyone laughs at the thought of it.

“Okay, Mina. What’s the worst pick up line you’ve ever heard and who said it?” You ask with a smile and she laughs at the question. She looks over to her boyfriend who gasps offendedly.

“The worst pick up line I’ve ever heard was at the club.” She says and Mark groans upon hearing that causing the group to laugh.

“Mark came up to me and said ‘Hey, you owe me a drink. Because when I saw you, I dropped mine.”

Mark screams and cringes as the words leave his girlfriend’s lips. The group laughs and starts teasing him.

“I would’ve thrown my drink at you if you said that to me.” Jeno says and laughs when Mark flips him off.

As the night went on, half the soju case was almost gone. You could feel the alcohol getting to you, your eyesight was starting to blur a bit. The game continues and it was mark’s turn to ask.

“Have you and Yunjin ever got caught doing ‘it’ by someone?”

“Plenty of times.” Jaemin answered quickly with no thought.

Yunjin, feeling embarrassed, hides her face in her hands.

“Oh my god Yunjin, you said you were innocent!” You exclaim and hit her shoulder lightly.

“She’s not innocent at all, one time she wan-mphh” She covers her boyfriend’s mouth before he can embarrass her even more.

She removes her hand from his mouth and he laughs before scanning the room. He looks at everyone before stopping on his best friend.

“Okay, Jeno. Are you completely over what happened last year?” He asks his best friend who tenses up at the question but then relaxes again.

The smile that was once on his face disappears and he clears his throat.

“Um yeah, I would say I am.” Everyone nods their head at his answer and he looks over at you with a smirk.

“Oh no.” You say with a sigh playfully. He just laughs at your reaction and smiles even more.

“You’ve been asking me questions all night, aren’t you curious about anyone else?” You ask jokingly and he shakes his head.

“Nope. Just you, princess.” You cheeks flush at his use of a pet name and you look at him with wide eyes. He chuckles and playfully pinches your cheek.

“What’s the kinkiest thing you like to do during sex?” He asks and your cheek flushes even more.

It’s not like you’ve never had sex, you’ve had a few encounters of it. Keyword, a few. Both times however, were really vanilla so you’ve never experienced anything remotely kinky.

Clearing your throat you slowly pour the soju into your shot glass and take the shot.

“Oh come on princess.” He says and you shake your head no.

“Not telling.” You say and cough when the alcohol goes down the wrong pipe. The group laughs at your misery while Jeno pats your back, also laughing.

Not long after, everyone was slowly starting to drift off to sleep. You slowly were starting to sober up and decided to start cleaning up the mess. You grabbed the empty bottles and placed them in a trashbag.

After cleaning up, you looked around at everyone. Mark and Mina were fast asleep on the couch, cuddled up. You walked over to your bedroom and grabbed a spare blanket from the closet for them.

As you were walking out of your room, you met Jaemin and Yunjin in the hallway. “I’m guessing he’s sleeping with you?”

She nods her head and drags a drunk Jaemin into her room. You walk into the living room and drape the blanket over Mark and Mina. Jeno was fast asleep with his head on the coffee table. You walk over to him and shake him.

“Jeno? Wake up.” You say softly while shaking him awake. He mumbles incoherently before tuning his head to face you.

“Jeno, come on. Go sleep on the couch.” He shakes his head no and whines softly.

“You don’t want to sleep on the couch?” You ask softly while crouching down to him. He shakes his head again and you furrow your brows.

“Where do you wanna sleep?” You ask him and he slowly lifts his head up. He looks towards the hallway and points in your room.

You sigh softly and weigh your options. You could leave him here and have his body be sore tomorrow or you could take him to your room and let him sleep on your bed while you come back to sleep on the couch. Sighing, you grab his hand and help him up.

“Come on, let’s go to my room.” You whisper and he obliges.

He stands up, albeit a little wobbly but he manages to balance his weight, never letting go of your hand. You drag him to your room and place him on the bed. Reaching over. You take off his shoes and place them on the tile floor.

You stare at the sleeping man in front of you and sigh softly. As you go to walk away, he grabs your wrist. You stop in your tracks and turn to look at him.

“Don’t leave me, Giselle.” You hear him say and you widen your eyes.

So he was lying when he said that he was over it. You knew he wasn't with the way that he reacted inside the convenience store. You sigh again and furrow your brows before grabbing his hand that was holding onto your wrist and pull his grip away.

You stare at him again and he has a sour expression on his face. You hesitantly poke at his eyebrows to ease them before walking out of your room, leaving him in there. You walk into the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror.

Your eyes were red and your mascara was smeared everywhere. The pink lip tint you applied is now gone due to the oil of the food. You take out a makeup wipe and start removing your makeup, all the while thinking about the man in your room.

You barely met him yet he had you wrapped around his finger. You sighed again for the hundredth time that night. After removing all of your makeup, you brushed your teeth before walking back out into the living room.

You decided to sleep on the other couch. After grabbing another blanket from the closet, you laid down and felt your eyelids getting heavy. Sleep slowly overtaking your body. You closed your eyes and let it devour you, not wanting to think about what just happened in the last 20 minutes.

-

You hear voices coming from next to you and open your eyes. The sun was blaring from the balcony window. Squinting your eyes, you sit up and see that everyone was up besides Jeno.

“Want some breakfast?” Jaemin asks from the kitchen and you slowly nod your head.

Your head was pounding and your mouth felt dry. Last night was the first time in a long time that you’ve drank that much. You tried to swallow some saliva to help quench your thirst but it didn’t help at all. Yunjin and Mina came over to sit next to you on the couch. MIna handed you a glass of water and you softly thanked her.

The water was cooling against your dry mouth and throat. Gulping down the water you slowly looked around.

“Where’s Jeno?” Yunjin asks you and you bring the cup down from your lips.

“He didn’t want to sleep on the couch so I took him to my room and came to sleep out here.” You answer and they nod their head.

“Food’s ready.” Jaemin says and the three of you walk over to the dining table where Mark was setting up plates.

“I’m gonna go wake up Jeno.” You say and walk towards your room.

You slowly opened the door, hoping not to wake him up. He was softly snoring and you observed him again before walking closer to him on your bed. The events of last night flash through your brain and you stop in your tracks. Deciding to not think too much, you walk up to him.

“Jeno.” You say and shake him to wake him up.

He slowly opens his eyes and blinks up at you before sitting up fastly. He looks around the room and notices that he’s in your room. You softly laugh at him and shake your head.

“Jaemin cooked breakfast, go eat.” You say and he slowly nods his head before getting up from your covers.

He grabs his shoes and walks out of your room. You sigh once he's out and lay down on your bed, not even caring that you haven’t washed them after he used it. You stare up at the ceiling for a moment before getting up to change into more comfortable clothes.

You fell asleep in your jeans last night and it was itching your legs. Locking your door, you change into a pair of gray loose sweatpants and a tight white long sleeve that was cropped. You looked for your brown fluffy slippers and put them on before walking back out into the kitchen to eat.

-

It’s been a few days since that day and you haven’t seen Jeno at all. You and Yunjin were watching a movie in the living room when you looked over at her and decided to ask the question you were dying to know the answer to.

“Yunjin?” You call out and she turns to look at you.

“What’s up?” She asks.

“Who did Giselle cheat on Jeno with?” You ask and she makes a confused face.

“How did you know about that?” She asks and you panic. You didn't know if you should tell her about what happened at the convenience store but you do anyway.

“When Jeno and I went to go get alcohol, she was there.” You answer and Yunjin sits up from her position.

“She was here? In Korea?” She asks for clarification and you nod your head yes.

“That bitch.” She says softly and looks away before looking back at you.

“She cheated on him with this guy named Shotaro.” She says and you slowly nod your head.

“DId he love her?” You ask again and Yunjin looks at you confusingly.

“Jeno.” You clarify and Yunjin sighs.

“Yeah, I think he did. But once she broke that trust, it was hard for him to get over it.” She explains and you stay quiet.

“Why are you asking?” She asks and you shake your head.

“I was just curious.” You say and she looks at you with squinted eyes before looking back at the tv.

You sat there in silence, thinking about the information that you just received. You grabbed your phone and looked up the name ‘Shotaro’ on instagram. It wasn’t hard to find him after all, there weren't many Shotaros in the world.

Clicking on the first profile that popped up you looked on his page and saw different posts with girls and guys. One picture in particular caught your eye though. It was a picture of Shotaro, Giselle, and Jeno.

She was standing in the middle with her head on Jeno’s shoulder. You frowned and zoomed in on the picture. Her arms wrapped around both of them but even though her head was on Jeno’s shoulder, Shotaro was standing closer to her than Jeno was.

You looked at the date it was posted, 2021. You zoomed back onto Shotaro’s face. He wasn’t bad looking but he definitely wasn’t as handsome as Jeno was. It seems like Jeno and Shotaro were friends or acquaintances at least.

You clicked on the picture to look at the tag and found Jeno’s account. He had no posts but he had story highlights. You clicked on one and saw Jaemin and Mark along with other guys. Tapping through them you looked at them before it changed to another highlight. You noticed that this one had just him.

There were pictures of him at the gym, him biking, him at parties, and more. Just as you were about to look even more, the doorbell rang. You looked up and saw Yunjin looking at you.

“Are you expecting anybody?” She asks you and you shake your head.

Getting up, you walked over to the front door and opened it. Jeno was standing there in a muscle tee and sweats. His biceps were out for everyone to see and you slowly widened your eyes.

“Jeno? What are you doing here?” You ask and look back to see if Yunjin was watching but she wasn't.

“Can we talk?” He asks and you nod your head before walking out to talk in the hallway.

“What’s up? Are you okay?” You ask and he nods his head.

“Yeah. I just wanted to apologize about the other day.” He says and you scoff slightly.

“It’s okay. You were drunk, don’t even worry about it.” You say and he smiles softly. You look up into his eyes and feel yourself smiling as well.

“Is that all?” You ask and he nods his head.

As you turn to walk back inside he grabs your wrist. “Wait!” He exclaims and you turn back to look at him.

“Um, someone I know is throwing a party tonight. Would you like to go with me?” He asks and you furrow your eyebrows.

“Tonight?” You ask and he nods his head.

“Sure, what time should I expect you to pick me up?” You ask and he smiles softly.

“I’ll be here at 9.” He says and you smile with a nod of your head. You turn to walk inside but before closing the door, you wave to him and he does the same.

“Who was it?” Yunjin asks and you drop your smile.

“Uh, Jeno. He invited me to a party tonight.”

“Oh, it must be Haechan’s party.” She says and you furrow your brows.

“How do you know?” You ask and she shrugs her shoulders.

“Jaemin invited me but I declined because I thought we were hanging out tonight.” She says teasingly and your eyes widen.

“Oh shit. Sorry, I already accepted his invite. I can cancel on him.” You say and Yunjin laughs.

“It’s fine, if you’re going then I’ll go too.” She says and grabs her phone to text Jaemin.

You smile and walk into your bedroom. It was already 5pm and you needed time to get ready. You walked into your closet, hoping to find something to wear. Looking through your tops, you found a black tube top and decided to pair it with a blue denim mini skirt.

You knew it was going to be a bit chilly outside, but you didn’t want to ruin your outfit so you opted for freezing tonight. Laying your outfit down on your bed, you walked towards the vanity mirror and started applying makeup. You knew you wanted it to be subtle but still bold enough to compliment your features.

“Hey, what are you wearing?” Yunjin asks while walking in and looking at the outfit on your bed.

“Oh, this is cute!” She exclaims and grabs your jacket to inspect it closely.

“Well, I was going to wear low rise jeans but I thought the skirt was cuter. What about you? What are you wearing?” You say while applying some lip gloss.

You turn towards her and see her in a green mini skirt with a white top. You smile and nod your head yes. “Oh hell yeah! You look hot as fuck.” You say and walk closer to her to look closely at her outfit. She smiles and does a quick turn while posing like models do. You laugh and gently hit her shoulder.

“Is Jaemin picking you up?” You ask and she shakes her head no.

“We usually uber since we both drink but Haechan’s place is really close so we usually just walk.” She says and you nod your head.

“I think he’s coming with Jeno so the four of us will probably just walk together.” She says and walks into your bathroom to look at herself in the mirror. You walk back over to your vanity table and finish getting ready. You finished curling the last strand of hair when the doorbell rang. You hear Yunjin going to open the door and quickly look at yourself in the mirror before grabbing your black platform boots.

As you were putting them on, there was a knock on your door. “Come in!” You yell and the door opens revealing Jeno.

“Hey.” You softly say and smile at him.

He stays near the door, mesmerized by you. Your outfit, your hair, your makeup, everything was so beautiful. He slightly clears his throat before looking away and greets you as well.

“You look beautiful." He says and you shyly smile.

“Thank you.” You say and finally look up to get a glimpse of his outfit for tonight.

He was wearing a purple and black striped shirt with black ripped jeans. His signature leather jacket was draped over his shoulders. His jewelry completed the look. He had the same rings adorning his fingers and you slightly felt a chill run up your spine, remembering the way they felt under your chin. His jet black hair was styled properly this time, showcasing his forehead. You slightly blush and get up to grab your bag. Slipping it over your shoulder, you look at yourself in the mirror one last time.

You turn to Jeno and smile while gesturing for him to leave first so you could close your door. The both of you walked towards the living room so that you guys could all leave. Yunjin and Jaemin were the first ones out of the door and you stayed behind to lock the door. Feeling a sense of deja vu when you see that Jeno was waiting for you.

“Is Giselle going to be there?” You ask Jeno who shakes his head.

“I don’t know. I hope not.” He replies and you nod your head before trailing behind Jaemin and Yunjin who were joined at the hip.

“I think I have a new favorite song from Cigarettes After Sex.” He says and you turn to look at him while walking.

“Really? What song?” You ask curiously and he slightly chuckles.

“Sunsetz.” He says and you gently laugh while pushing him away from you.

“You’re such a follower.” You joke and he laughs before walking close to you again.

The both of you continued small talk while walking to Haechan’s house. Your hands slightly bump into each other since you were walking so closely to each other. Your cheeks flushed every time your hand accidentally brushed against his.

-

As the night went on and more people came you lost sight of your friends. Sighing, you lean your back against a wall and take a sip out of the nasty concoction that was made by Haechan himself. Suddenly you felt someone come stand next to you. You turn to look at the person when you notice how familiar he looked.

“Hi, I’m Shotaro. What’s your name?” You gape at the person in front of you. He was the guy Giselle cheated on Jeno with. You slightly smile awkwardly and give him your name.

“Pretty name for a pretty girl.” He says and you slightly back away from him to put some distance with a fake smile plastered on your face.

“I haven’t seen you around before. Are you new here?” He asks and you nod your head.

“I’m here for college.” You reply dryly and he smiles at you.

You hated to admit that he was an attractive man but you couldn’t do that to Jeno. The two of you just stood there in silence looking at each other.

Unbeknownst to the both of you, Jeno stared from across the room. His hand clenched onto his cup while his tongue poked his cheek. Why the fuck was Shotaro talking to you? And why was he standing so fucking close to you?

Hachan sluggishly wrapped his arm around his friend and laughed. “What’s got you so pissy?”

Jeno huffed and pushed his arm off of him. Haechan follows his gaze and sees Shotaro. Furrowing his brows he straightens up and turns to Jeno.

“I didn’t know he was back.” He says and puts his hand on Jeno’s shoulder.

Seeing enough, Jeno removes Hacehan’s hand from his shoulder and gulps the last of his drink before throwing the cup on the floor. His eyes stayed on Shoitao the whole time he was making his way over to you two.

“Do you want to dance?” Shotaro asks and holds his hand out. Before you could even answer a hand pushes him away.

You look up and see Jeno standing next to you. His nostrils were flared and his eyes were abnormally cold. Glaring at the man in front of him while Shotaro just chuckles.

“Jeno Lee.” He says and smiles while looking straight back at him.

Jeno didn’t reply, he just glared at the guy in front of him before grabbing your hand. As he turned to get the both of you away from him you felt Shotaro pull on your other arm.

“Hey, we were talking!” Shotaro yells and Jeno turns quickly to look at him.

“Let go of her.” He says through clenched teeth and Shotaro just smirks.

He slowly lets go of your arm and continues smirking while Jeno keeps his eyes on him. You slightly tap Jeno’s shoulder, signaling for the both of you to leave. He softly looks back at you and the both of you walk back over to where the rest of his friends were.

“Why were you talking to him?” Jeno snapped and you turned to look at him.

“He came up to me, what was I supposed to do? Ignore him?” You sass back and Jeno just sighs.

“Do you know who he is?” He asks, never letting go of your hand.

Of course you knew who he was but you didn’t want to admit to stalking their Instagram pages so you shake your head no. He sighs and pulls you towards the kitchen counter. Your back hits against it and you let out a soft yelp from the pain.

Jeno steps in front of you, keeping you trapped between his own body and the counter. His taller frame towering over you and you felt a little shy looking into his eyes. You avert your eyes and look down but Jeno grabs your chin to make you look him straight in the eye. Your lashes flutter against your eyes and he softly chuckles.

He leans down so he could whisper in your ear. You freeze up because he was too close to you. His necklace dangling onto your shoulder and the cool metal against your bare shoulder makes your cheeks flush again.

“You’re cute.” He says and you softly giggle.

You can feel your heart rate going up. Trying to calm it down, you inhale a short breath but Jeno catches it. He can feel your heart pounding against his chest and he softly chuckles.

“Do I make you nervous?” He asks and you quickly shake your head no.

He pulls away from your ear and looks at you again with a smirk.

“You sure?” He whispers, leaning closer to your face.

You could feel his breath hitting in your face and it makes you back away a little bit. You didn’t get too far because his hand goes around your waist, pulling you right up against his body. The alcohol in your system and the closeness of your bodies make you start to sweat a bit. It was too hot in here, you needed to get some fresh air.

“I need to- I need to get some air.” You say quietly for him to hear and he smirks while letting go of you.

You huff out a breath and step away from him. You walk towards the sliding door and feel the cool breeze against your skin. Your heart is racing a million beats per minute. You slowly bring your hands to your cheeks and feel how hot they are.

Shaking your head, you try to calm yourself down but a touch on your shoulder scares you. You jump away from the contact and turn around to see Yunjin and Mina there.

“Oh, hi.” You say softly and they both look at you.

“Are you okay?” Mina asks and they both walk closer to you.

“Yeah. I just needed to get some air.” You reply and they both nod their head.

“We saw Shotaro trying to talk to you.” Yunjin says and you sigh.

“Yeah, it was awkward.” You say and inhale a sharp breath.

“Was Jeno friends with him?” You ask and they both look at each other before looking back at you.

“They were very close in high school because they were both in dance club.” Yunjin says and you nod your head again.

“Come on, let’s go drink.” Mina says and wraps her arm around your arm with Yunjin doing the same.

The three of you walk back into the house and walk to the kitchen where the rest of the guys were at. You quickly catch Jeno’s eye and he smirks at you. You shyly smile at him before walking with the girls to the other side of the counter.

You were across from Jeno but you tried not to look at him. Instead, you kept your eyes on Renjun, who was pouring the shots. He passed out the shot cups and you shyly thanked him before grabbing it from him.

The eight of you cheered and clicked your shot cups against each other before downing the shrink. The alcohol was burning your throat and you let out a sour look after swallowing it down.

“That’s nasty.” You say and Renjun laughs.

“It’s Bicardi.” He says and lifts up the bottle to show you.

“It tastes like shit.” You say and Hachan screams.

“Don’t say that about my baby.” Haechan says and grabs the bottle to pat it.

“Don’t worry, she didn't mean that.” He says and you laugh at him.

Jeno kept his eyes on you the whole time. Maybe it was the alcohol in his system or maybe it was his dirty mind that wanted to corrupt you. You seemed so innocent to him, with your sparkling eyes, your skirt riding up so high that he could basically see your panties but you didn’t even notice.

You stupid perfect lips that curl up so sweetly when you smile. Your hair that looked so soft, your belly button piercing that always adds fuel to the boner he was already springing. He was imagining all sorts of things.

His necklaces dangling in front of your face as he pushes himself into you. Your belly button piercing that would glimmer so bright as he was on top of you.

“Jeno!” Renjun’s voice snaps him away from his thoughts. He looks over at his friend who has a knowing smile on his face.

“She’s pretty cute right?” Renjun says and laughs softly when Jeno looks back at you.

“Shut up.” He grumbles and pushes Renjun away slightly who laughs at his friend.

You felt your head spinning and decided that you had enough to drink. You sat down on the counter to keep your body from falling down. You close your eyes to help your headache when you feel a presence in front of you. Opening your eyes, you see Jeno in front of you again.

‘You okay, princess?” He asks and you nod your head.

“Yeah, I just need to calm down a bit.” You say and he nods his head. His hands come to rest on the counter, trapping you again.

Your belly button piercing was on full display for him, the butterfly charm draws him in. He reaches down to play with your piercing and you giggle at his actions.

“It tickles.” You softly say and try to wriggle from his hands but he softly laughs and places his other hand on your waist to keep you from moving.

Feeling bold, you grab his necklace and pull him in closer to inspect it. You smooth your fingers over the cross and he smiles softly watching you. His fingers never leaving your belly button piercing either. You look up into his eyes and smile softly.

“What?” You softly say and he shakes his head.

His eyes formed into those cute little crescent moons. This man was going to be the death of you. You let go of his necklace and sigh.

“My butt hurts.” You say and he softly chuckles again.

He lets go of your piercing and holds his hand out. You take his hand in yours and jump off the counter. You go to grab your bag but he grabs it for you and holds it with his other hand while leading you to the couch.

The smell of marijuana was piercing and your nose scrunched up at the smell. Jaemin was smoking a blunt with Yunjin on his lap. He blew the smoke out away from his girlfriend before passing it to Hachan. Jeno sits down on the couch and pulls you onto him.

You yelp when your butt lands on his thighs. Everyone was lost in conversation and you were lost in your thoughts. Mark passes the blunt to Jeno who takes a drag before blowing it away from your face. You look at him as he takes another hit.

“Wanna try, princess?” He asks and holds out the blunt to you.

You shake your head no and he shrugs his shoulders before passing it back to Mark. Jeno’s hands were wrapped around your waist and he pulled you in closer. His chin resting on your shoulders as he closes his eyes.

You smile softly and place your hands against his. You grab one of them and start playing with one of the many rings he has on. Jeno opens his eyes and watches as you get lost looking and playing with his rings. You shyly smile at him and go back to looking at his rings when a figure catches your eye.

Giselle was walking over and you quietly tapped Jeno’s arm to signal him. He opens his eyes and lets out a soft hum. He looks up and sees her in front of the both of you. The conversation died down as everyone looked at her.

“Can I get a hit?” She asks, looking Jeno straight in the eye. He sits up and squeezes your waist tighter.

“It’s not mine, don’t ask me.” He says and looks at Jaemin.

Jaemin shrugs his shoulders and hands out the blunt to her. She smiles and sits down next to Jeno and you. You roll your eyes at her and go to stand up but Jeno’s hold on you gets tighter. You turn to look at him but he shakes head. He places his chin back onto your shoulder.

“I’m comfortable.” He whispers in your ear and you giggle softly while he laughs.

Giselle looks at you two with a nasty look before hitting the blunt again. Yunjin and Mina look at each other with a roll of their eyes.

“What’s your name?” Giselle asks, looking straight at you. You turn to look at her and plaster a fake smile.

“Yn.” You say and she softly laughs.

“You don’t smoke?” She asks again and you shake your head no.

“Oh, I thought you did because Jeno likes girls who smoke.” She says with a raise of her eyebrows.

You know she’s trying to rile you up and you hate that it’s working. Jeno sighs and opens his eyes to look at her again. He releases you from his grasp and you take that as a sign to get up from his hold.

“Let’s go.” He says and grabs your hand in his again. You shyly take it and look at Yunjin who gets up as well.

“This was fun Hyuck, but I think it’s time for us to go.” She says and holds onto Jaemin as he gets up too.

You wave bye to everyone and walk out of the house with Jeno, Yunin, and Jaemin. Giselle gals at your figure disappearing and scoffs.

“It was just a joke, jeez. What’s their problem?” She asks and takes another hit of the blunt.

Mina scowls at her as she gets up to leave with Mark.

‘You know what the problem is, bitch.” She says angrily and the two of them walk off.

You and Jeno were walking into the direction of your apartment. The chilly air was blowing against your skin and you shiver. He notices and stops walking to take his jacket off. He places them around your shoulders and smiles at you.

You thank him and he grabs your hand to continue the walk. Unbeknownst to you both Jaemin was taking pictures of you two with a big grin on his face.

“Okay, that’s enough.” Yunjin says softly with a giggle and pushes his hand away.

He laughs and puts his phone back into his pocket before grabbing her hand. The four of you finally made it to your guys' shared apartment. Jeno walked you to your room and sat you down on your bed. He kneels down to take your boots off. Your head was pounding so hard you lay down against your pillows.

After he was finished he looked at you fast asleep on your bed. He smiles softly and bends down. He places a quick kiss to your head and whispers a soft “Good night.” before walking out of your room.

“You good to drive?” Jaemin asks and he nods his head.

He takes the keys from Jaemin and the both of them walk out of the apartment to head back to their dorm. Jaemin noticed the way Jeno's lips curved up into a smile. He noticed the way Jeno’s eyes lit up every time he looked at you. He noticed lots of things in his friend that he hasn’t seen in a long time. He smiles softly at his friend who continues the drive home.

-

You woke up the next morning, still in your clothes from last night and your makeup half rubbed off. You walk over to the bathroom to remove your makeup and shower when you notice Jeno’s jacket around you. You smile and go to grab your phone.

you left your jacket - princess

i left it on purpose ;) - Jeno Lee

You smile and heart his message before getting ready to remove your makeup.

-

It’s been a week since you started classes and safe to say, you were not expecting that much work within the first week. It was finally Friday and you just got back to your apartment. Yunjin didn’t have any classes today so she was already home.

“Are you done packing already?” You ask as you walk into her room.

“Yeah. Are you?” She asks and you shake your head no.

Jaemin had a beach house and he invited you all over for the weekend to destress from the first week of school.

“I’m too tired to pack.” You say and she laughs. “Well you better hurry up, They’re meeting here at 2.” She says and you groan.

“That’s in like 2 hours.” You say and she nods her head.

“Yeah, so hurry up. Princess.” She teases you and you hit her gently.

“Shut up! Don’t call me that.” You say laughing and she laughs as well.

“Just go pack.” She says and you laugh before walking to your room to pack for the weekend.

You were only going to be gone until Sunday so you packed 2 bikinis, a few pairs of jeans and sweats, and a few baby cropped tees. You walk over to your undergarments drawer when Jeno’s leather jacket catches your eye.

You smile thinking about the memory last weekend and walk up to it. You grab it and fold it up to put in your bag so you could give it back to him. You tried to give it back to him earlier but he kept trying to push it off, claiming that he had other ones to wear.

You place it into your bag and grab new undergarments to pack. Lastly, you packed your makeup and skincare into a smaller bag and placed it into your duffel bag. After zipping it up you change into comfortable clothes.

You changed into your black one piece spandex and grabbed a white cropped sweater that falls off your left shoulder perfectly. You put a pair of fuzzy white socks on and slipped your feet into your UGG platform slippers. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you smiled before grabbing your bag and walking out into the living room.

You had makeup on already from school so you just touched it up a little bit. You wanted to look cute since you were going to be riding with Jeno. Jaemin and Yunjin were taking Mark and Mina, while Haechan and Renjun brought along their other two friends.

“They’re here.” Yunjin says and you grab your bag and place the strap around your right shoulder.

“Let’s go!” You say and walk out of the apartment first. Yunjin locked up the apartment before following you down to where everyone else was.

You notice Jeno’s black 2023 Mercedes Benz C-Class first. You smile and wave at him as he opens the trunk and grabs your bag from you. You open up your bag and pull his jacket out from it and hand it to him.

He smiles and takes the jacket from you and places it in his trunk as well. He closes the trunk and you walk over to the passenger side door and get inside the car. He gets in the car as well and waits for Jaemin to take off first.

“Are you excited?” He asks and you squeal.

“Yes! I need a break from school.” You say and he laughs.

“It’s barely been a week.” He says and you giggle.

“Yeah but the classes are so hard.” You say and he softly laughs.

“Who’s coming with Haechan and Renjun?” You ask and he looks over at you.

“Our other friends, you haven’t met them yet. Their names are Chenle and Jisung. They’re a bit younger than us.” He says and you nod your head.

He pulls out something from the back seat and gives it to you. It’s a small velvet box. Furrowing your eyebrows you look at him.

“What is it?” You ask softly and giggle.

“Just open it.” He says and you do as he says.

Inside was a thick metal ring adorned with jewels. It was the same one he had on middle finger. You gasp and pull it out from the box, bringing it closer to you so you can inspect it.

“You liked playing with mine so much, I figured I’d just buy you one." He says sheepishly and you smile at him.

“Oh my god, Jeno! It’s so beautiful, thank you.” You say and slip it on your middle finger on your left hand, exactly where it was on Jeno’s finger.

You lift your hand to show him and he laughs at the placement of your ring. Excitedly, you take out your phone and grab his hand to place yours on top. Snapping a quick picture of your guys hands together with the rings on display. You smile in satisfaction and show him.

“Send it to me.” He says and smiles.

You nod your head and quickly pull up his contact to send the picture to him. He looks over at your phone and sees his contact saved as ‘Jeno Lee.’ He scoffs and grabs your phone from your hands.

“Hey!” You exclaim and try to get it back but he pushes your hand away.

He changes his name to ‘jen’ and saves it before handing your phone back to you. You laugh once you see his contact name and look at him.

“What’s my name saved as?” You ask with a smile on your face.

He pulls out his phone and goes to your contact before turning his phone around and showing you. You stare at the ‘princess’ and laugh, pushing his shoulder away.

“You’re annoying.” You say and he laughs before charging his phone.

“You got your nails done?” He asks, grabbing your hands to inspect your nails closely.

You recently got them done with Yunjin and Mina. They were a nude pink color with glitter and charms adorned around them. You nod your head as he plays with the butterfly charm on your middle finger.

“I wanted to make them pretty.” You say and he softly laughs.

You look out the window and notice Jaemin’s car leaving. Jeno lets go of your hand and puts his car in reverse to follow them.

“Can you GPS the way just in case we get separated?” He asks and you nod your head before grabbing his phone.

“Password?” You ask and he quickly says the password code before you click on the group chat with the 10 of you.

You click on the address that Jaemin sent earlier this week and it starts showing the map on Jeno’s dashboard. You swipe out of the app and go to his Spotify. You look through his playlist and find one titled ‘Princess.’ Smiling, you click on it and see that it’s all Cigarettes After Sex songs. You click on ‘Sunsetz’ and the song begins to play. Jeno lets out a laugh at the song choice and shakes his head.

-

After a two hour car ride, you and Jeno finally arrive at the house. Jeno parks his car and you undo your seatbelt. Stepping out of the car, you walk towards the trunk and grab your bag. He follows you and grabs his bag as well.

The two of you walk inside the beach house and notice how big it was. It was squeaky clean like a brand new house. You walk through the house, looking in awe at how beautiful it was. After you finished looking at it, everyone was gathered in the living room.

“So there’s 5 rooms, everyone is going to have to share a room.” Jaemin says and grabs his girlfriend’s hand.

“Me and Yunjin, Mark and Mina, Jeno and Yn, Haechan and Renjun, and Jisung and Chenle.” Jaemin finishes and everyone nods their head in agreement.

“Every room is available besides the master bedroom, that’s where Yunjin and I will sleep.” He says and you and Jeno rush to get the best room.

You open the door and squeal when you look inside. There was a beautiful balcony with a view of the beach right outside. You were in awe of the balcony that you barely noticed the one bed but when you did your eyes widened.

You’re sharing one bed with Jeno. You look over to him and he laughs at your expression. He walks over to you and looks out the window with a smirk.

“Don’t worry, I’ll behave.” He says and walks to the bed to set his bag down. You awkwardly laugh and play it off.

“I’m not worried at all.” You say and shake your head.

Jeno raises his eyebrows at your lie and smirks before sitting on the bed. You go to place your bag on the bed as well when Jeno grabs your wrist and pulls you down onto the bed. His body hovering over yours causing his necklaces to dangle in front of you.

You eyes widen and you try to get up from his grasp but he pins your arms down above your head. He smirks and laughs at you before getting up and letting go of you.

“Not worried at all, my ass.” He says and chuckles. You sit up and huff at him.

“Shut up. You just caught me off guard.” You lie again.

He lets out an amused smile and nods his head knowing the truth. You get up to unzip your bag and grab your makeup bag to put on the desk table in the corner of the room. After doing that, you walk out into the kitchen to help Mina and Yunjin prepare the meat so Jamein can barbecue it.

Jeno sat on the bed and pulled his phone out. He looks at the photo you sent him and stares at it for a second before saving it and going to Instagram. He clicks on the photo and puts ‘Sunsetz’ as the music background before posting it.

He smiles looking at the finished product and turns his phone off before joining the rest of you guys in the kitchen. He can hear your laugh and it brings a smile to his face again. He walks outside and over to Jaemin who's preparing the grill and helps him.

You were washing the rice when Yunjin let out a gasp. You and Mina turn to look at her and she squeals before showing her phone to you guys. The picture that you just took earlier today blaring through her phone. You widen your eyes and clear your throat.

“That’s you right?” Mina asks while looking at you with a shocked face.

“No.” You shake your head and try to lie but the two of them smirk.

“Yn, we all got our nails done together.” Yunjin says and grabs your left hand to match the nails and the ring to the picture.

“Oh my god! Are you guys dating?” Mina asks excitingly and you shake your head.

“No we aren’t. I don’t even know what we are.” You say and Yunjin pouts at your words.

“Do you like him?” She asks and you sigh before nodding your head.

“But, I know that he’s not over whatever happened with Giselle so it’s impossible.” You say placing the bowl into the rice cooker.

Mina and Yunjin pout before walking over to you. They both hug you to comfort you and you smile at them.

“I’m okay, I promise.” You say and the two of them look at each other before looking back at you. They let go of you and the three of you continue to prepare the food.

After Jaemin finished grilling the meat, everyone was sitting outside enjoying the food and the weather. You were sitting in between Mina and Jeno. The latter’s Instagram story is still reeling in your mind. Why did he even post that? What was he trying to do when he posted it? 

You looked over at him laughing along to something Haechan said, you didn’t bother to pay attention to the conversation. Jaemin must’ve caught you staring because next thing you know you feel a kick on your leg. 

You looked across to him and he smiled while raising his eyebrows teasingly. You shake your head and laugh. 

“I just spaced out.” You say, trying to defend yourself. 

“Sure you did.” Jaemin teases and you flip him off jokingly. 

The conversations continue until Haechan screams and runs away from Jeno who's chasing him. You laugh at them and sip on your water. Setting the glass down, you start playing with the ring on your middle finger. Twisting it around to help distract yourself.

“That’s a nice ring.” Mark says with a smirk.  

“Oh, thanks. It was a gift.” You say and smile while he slightly laughs. 

“From who?” He asks again, leaning closer to get a good look at you. 

“Um, I forgot.” You lie and take a sip of your water. 

Mark laughs at you again and goes to say something but Mina nudging him makes him stop talking. You slightly scoff and go back to eating when Jeno sits back down. He goes to grab his glass of water but it’s empty. 

He looks over at yours and grabs it before drinking out from it. He sets the glass back down where it was and smiles at you. You don’t say anything as you continue to eat the meat that Jaemin barbequed. 

As everyone finished eating, you started cleaning up along with Mina and Yunjin. You gathered up the dirty plates and put them in the sink while the other two went to retrieve more dirty dishes. You started washing the dishes when Jaemin came over to help you. 

“Oh, it’s okay Jaemin. I got it.” You say and he waves off your comment. 

“It’s fine.” He says and starts rinsing the soapy dishes.

“Anything you wanna talk about?” You ask, hoping to ease the conversation. 

“Not really.” He says while looking at you causing you to laugh slightly. 

“How do you like the friend group so far?” He asks. 

“Oh, you guys are really fun. It’s very different from my friend group back at home." You say and continue to wash the dishes. 

“How so?” Jaemin inquires. 

“Well, for starters there’s not a lot of us in the friend group. There’s only four of us and we didn’t really hang out with guys. I mean, we did, but they weren’t part of our immediate friend group.” You explain and he nods. 

“Do you ever miss home?” He asks and you sigh quietly. 

“I do. But, at the same time it’s good to have new experiences so I’m really glad I came over here for college.” You say with a smile. 

“I see why Yunjin likes you so much.” Jaemin says and laughs. 

“What do you mean?” You ask and laugh as well. 

“You guys are just so alike. You always want to see the good in things, even in people.” He says and you laugh again. 

“Like you?” You tease and he glares at you playfully. 

“I wasn't that bad.” He defends and you laugh. 

“Yeah right. You turned from this playboy who slept around to being in a fully committed relationship.” You say and he shrugs his shoulders. 

“Maybe I was just waiting for the right person to come along.” He says and looks over at you. You just nod your head at his answer and he almost groans in frustration.

How could you not understand that he was also talking about you and Jeno. You both were the most dense people he’s ever met. Of course he and his girlfriend gossip about you guys- you’re her roommate and Jeno’s his best friend for Christ's sake. 

He knew you liked his friend, Yunjin told him. And, he knew that his friend liked you as well, even if he didn’t want to admit it. The way that Jeno acted around you was different than how he was around any other girl, even Giselle. 

Jeno cares for you in more ways than one. Like when he gave you his jacket, or when he was holding your hand, or protecting you from Giselle, or buying you a ring, or posting you on his public social media account for goodness sakes. 

After finishing up the dishes, you changed into your bikini to go swimming in the pool. Walking out onto the deck you placed your towel on the chair before jumping into the water. The coolness of it relaxes your tense body. 

You swam alone for about five minutes until you heard the door open and close. Looking over, you find Jeno walking towards the pool in nothing but his black swimming trunks - matching your black bikini. You smile slightly and continue swimming when he gets in. 

“Didn’t find you in the room.” He says and you laugh. 

“I just wanted to clear my mind a bit.” You reply while swimming to him. 

“Something wrong?” He asks and you shake your head immediately. 

“No, nothing’s wrong.” You say and he stares at you. 

He knows that you’re lying, whenever you lie you always avert your eyes and press your lips together. He walks closer to you and backs you up against the wall of the pool. 

“Jeno.” You softly say but he cuts you off by placing his hands around your thighs. 

You whimper quietly as he places your legs around his waist. His dark eyes staring abc into yours and you have to bite your tongue to not release a moan. 

“Jeno.” You say quietly and he brings his face closer to you. 

“Hm?” He asks and you try to avert your eyes but he stops you. 

“Look at me.” He says and you listen to him. 

You look into his eyes and say nothing. He leans down further and starts pressing butterfly kisses on your neck. You let out a soft whimper before biting your lip. 

“Tell me what’s wrong.” He says before kissing your neck again. He makes his way up to your jaw and starts placing kisses there as well. 

You grip his shoulders tightly as you try to answer him but you couldn’t think of any words. Your mind was hazy, trying to tell him what was bothering you. You let another whimper when he harshly sucks on your neck, leaving a mark there. He pulls back and smiles devilishly at the mark he left before placing one last kiss on it. 

“If you don’t tell me, I’ll stop.” He says and you whimper again while shaking your head. 

“I can’t- I can’t concentrate if you do that.” You admit and he softly chuckles. 

He pulls back fully and looks into your eyes, his eyes begging for you to answer him. With a sigh, you look away from him and close your eyes before opening them and speaking. 

“What are we?” You ask and he furrows his brows. 

“What do you mean?” He asks for clarification. 

“I mean what are we? Why are you buying me gifts and acting like you’re my boyfriend when you’re not.” You say and feel your eyes getting teary. 

“I don’t like feeling like this Jeno. I don’t like feeling like the second option.” You say and he puts your legs down to hold your waist and bring you closer. 

“What do you mean it feels like a second choice?” He asks and you sigh again. 

“The first night we met and you slept in my room. You called me Giselle and begged for me to not leave you.” You admit and sniffle. 

Jeno shushes you and brings your head into his chest. After you calmed down a bit, he pulled back and looked at you again. 

“I promise, I’m over her. I don’t know why I said that, it was probably because Jaemin asked me about the situation and seeing her again… it was just too much for me.” He explains and cups your face into his hands. 

“I would never hurt you, princess.” He says and you whimper at the pet name. He chuckles at your response and brings his face closer to yours. 

“Can I kiss you.” 

You nod your head and that’s all Jeno needs before he crashes his lips onto yours. His lips were soft and tasted like mint. You followed his rhythm while wrapping your arms around his neck. His hands go lower to your butt and cups them, earning a moan from you. 

He smiles at the sound and pulls away from you to place kisses on your neck once again. “Jeno.” You moan his name, and he smiles into your neck. 

He smiles at the sound and pulls away from you to place kisses on your neck once again. “Jeno.” You moan his name and he smiles into your neck. 

“We should head inside.” You say unwrapping yourself from him. 

He nods his head at your suggestion and lets go of your waist. You slowly back away from him and smile shyly before turning around to walk out of the pool. He stares at your ass as you walk out and lets out a groan. 

“Do you have to look so hot walking out of the pool?” He retorts to you and you turn to flip him off jokingly before grabbing your towel and wrapping it around your body. 

He steps out of the pool as well and grabs his towel. You wait for him to dry himself off before the two of you walk back inside the house. A shy smile adorned your face the whole time. You still didn’t know what you and Jeno were, but at least you knew that he was completely over Giselle. 

You walk into your room and grab your skincare as well as a change of clothes before heading to the bathroom to shower. Slowly, you took off your clothes and stepped into the shower. The hot water burns your skin but that’s how you liked your showers. 

You lathered your rose scented shampoo into your hands before thoroughly applying it into your hair. You couldn’t help but think about what just happened. Your heart was bursting just remembering the kiss. You felt like a teenage girl experiencing some kind of first love. 

You softly giggled at your thoughts as you finished your shower. Stepping out of the tub, you reached over to a new towel to dry your body and apply some moisturizer on your face. As you rubbed the moisturizer between your hands, you glanced at the ring on your middle finger and smiled again. 

After changing into your pajamas (a pair of blue loose sweats and a white cropped tank top), you blow dried your hair. Once you were done, you walked out of the bathroom and into your shared room with Jeno. He was laying on the bed, having finished his shower earlier than you. 

He smiled and watched as you put your things away. He shuts off his phone and places it on the nightstand next to where he’s sleeping. You walk over to the bed and lift the covers up so you could slide in next to him. 

“Hi.” You softly say to him and he shortly laughs before greeting you back. 

“How was your shower?” He asks and you snuggle into the pillow. 

“It was relaxing, how was yours?” He turns his body to face you. 

“Good, I feel clean.” He replies and you stare into his eyes. 

Hesitantly, you bring your pointer finger up and trace his facial features. You traced over his eyebrows and nose before making your way to his mole under his eye. He laughs and his eyes turn into those little crescent moons that you love so much. 

“I love your eyes.” You say and trace over his eyelashes. 

“I like when they turn into moons when you smile.” You say and he laughs before grabbing your hand and placing it on his chest. 

You can feel his heartbeat, it was speeding up. You chuckle softly and look at him with your eyebrows raised. 

“My heart does that every time I think about you.” He softly says and you nuzzle your face into your pillow, getting shy. 

“Stop it.” You say and giggle. 

‘It’s the truth.” He says and brings your hand to his lips. 

He places a chaste kiss onto the back of your hand before placing it back onto his chest. 

“When we get back home, would you like to go on a date with me?” He asks, staring straight into your eyes. 

You nod your head and your lips curl up into a smile. “I would love to.” 

You lift your head up from the pillow and Jeno opens his arms to let you embrace him. His arms wrap securely around your figure and he sighs in content. 

“Goodnight, Jen.” You say to him and nuzzle in closer to his body. 

“Sweet dreams, princess.” He says and places a quick kiss onto your head before nuzzling into it. 

The both of you stay in that position all night long. His heartbeat and touch brought a sense of comfort to you and you didn’t ever want to let go of that feeling. Meanwhile, the boy next you was feeling the exact same way. 

-

Jeno wakes up the next morning reaching for your body only to be disappointed when he opens his eyes and realizes you’re not there. He rubs the sleepiness from his eyes and gets out of bed. 

Making his way to the kitchen, he’s greeted by the sight of you cutting up some fruit. You were so focused on cutting the watermelon that you didn’t hear him approach you. You slightly panic when you feel arms wrap around you from behind but once you recognize the rings, you instantly smile. 

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” You say to him and he grumbles in response. 

He places his chin on your shoulder and looks over at the watermelon that you’re currently cutting up. 

“That looks good." He comments and you giggle softly. 

“Do you want a piece?” You softly ask and feel his head nod on your shoulder. 

You grab a piece that you’ve already cut up and raise it to his lips. He opens up and eats the fruit from your hands. 

“Yummy?” You ask and he nods his head again in response. 

The conversation dies down after that. Occasionally, you would feed him pieces of fruit while he gladly ate them. Once you cut up enough fruit for all of you guys to enjoy, you turn around in his embrace to look at him. 

He smiles at you and leans in closer. He closes his eyes, going in for a kiss but you’re quicker. You shove a piece of strawberry into his mouth and he grumbles. 

“Someone might walk in.” You say softly and he shakes his head. 

“I don’t care. Let them see.” He says and leans in again. 

You shriek and escape from his grasp with the bowl of fruit in your hands. 

“Go wash up.” You tell him and he grumbles softly before walking into the bathroom. 

Today, you were all going to the beach and having a bonfire night. You put sunscreen, sunglasses and two towels in your bag, one for you and one for Jeno. After packing up the bag, you walk over to your duffel bag and pull out your baby pink bikini. 

After changing into it, your hickey was on display for everyone to see, so you looked into your bag for an oversized shirt. Jeno walks in just at that moment and whistles at you. You stand up from where you’re bending over and roll your eyes at him. 

“What are you looking for, princess?” He walks closer to you and you sigh. 

“I’m looking for an oversize shirt to wear over my bikini, but I don’t think I packed any.” You pout and he laughs before unzipping his duffel bag. 

He digs through his bag and pulls out a gray t-shirt. He looks at it for a second before walking over you and handing it to you. 

“Here you go.” He says and smiles when you grab it. 

You slip it on and look at yourself in the mirror. His shirt barely covered your ass but at least you were more covered than before. 

“Thanks, Jen.” You say and turn to place a quick kiss on his cheek which makes him blush. 

He waits for you to grab your bag before holding his hand out for you. You take his hand in yours and the both of you walk to the beach, catching up with the rest of your friends. 

-

You were sitting on the big beach towel with Mina and Yunjin and catching up on last night’s events. 

“I knew it!” Yunjin squeals and pulls you into her embrace. 

You laugh and pat her back while observing the boys play in the water. Haechan was on Mark’s shoulder, Chenle on Jeno’s, and Jisung on Jaemin’s while Renjun was the referee. They were playing chicken fight and trying to knock each other off. 

You grabbed your phone and quickly took photos of Jeno just for you to keep before taking pictures of the three of you. After spending about 3 hours in the sun, you all agreed that it was time to go back to the house. 

Once everyone was back, they all went to their separate rooms, tired from their beach day. You quickly washed your feet before slipping into bed with Jeno for a nap. Jeno’s arms were around you and he had that devilish smirk he always has on. 

He sits up and lays on top of you, his necklace dangling over you. He slides his shirt over his head and  you widen your eyes and try to stop him but he pins your hands above your head. He leans in and starts placing kisses on your jaw before going lower. 

You softly moan and try to break free from his grip, wanting to touch him. He slightly chuckles before releasing your hands. Instantly, they travel to his hair and you slightly pull on it. He sucks particularly hard on your soft spot and you let out a loud moan. 

“Quiet, princess. We don’t want everyone hearing you do we?” He says to you with his head tilted as if he was mocking you. 

You whimper and bite your bottom lip to keep the noises from coming out. His hands teasingly run up and down the sides of your torso. 

“Jeno.” You softly whisper and he chuckles. 

“I know, baby. You gotta be patient okay? Can you do that for me?” He asks, looking into your eyes and you nod your head. 

“Good girl.” He says and his fingers slowly go towards the waistband of your shorts. 

Your belly button piercing on display for him to see and he groans at the sight of it glimmering underneath him. He pushes his fingers against your core teasingly which draws out a whimper from you. 

“Take it off please.” You beg and he almost cums at how whiny you sound. He slowly pulls your shorts down and sees the growing wet spot on your pink lacy panties. 

“You’re such a slut.” He degrades and you whine from his usage of words. 

“M’ not.” You defend and writhe underneath him. 

“No?” He asks teasingly before sliding a finger in between your folds through your panties. 

“Jeno.” You moan loudly at the contact and he brings his hands over your lips to muffle the noises. 

“Quiet baby.” He says and removes his hands from your mouth while leaning into your neck. 

‘You’re so wet, princess. Who are you so wet for huh?” He asks while sliding your panties down to your thighs. 

Your glistening folds make his dick grow even more and he can’t help himself. He slides his finger through your folds teasingly as you try to contain your moans. Your hands go around to his back and grip him tightly. He slips a finger into your hole and you squeeze your eyes shut. 

You moan loudly at the feeling of his fingers inside of you, not answering his question. Jeno groans at your lack of answering and rips your panties off your body. You gasp as you hear the tearing of fabric.

“Jeno! Those were my favorite.” You say and he darkly chuckles. 

He moves one of his hands from your waist to your neck. His grip tightens and you gasp at the feeling of your airway being blocked. 

“You answer me when I ask you a question, princess.” He says seductively and stops pumping his fingers into you.

You whine at the loss of friction and he squints his eyes at you before pulling out completely. 

“No.” You quietly whimper out and Jeno tightens his grip around your neck even more. 

“Answer me.” He growls and you can feel your heat getting wetter. 

“You!” You say, trying your best to get the words out. 

He smirks and brings his lips back onto yours. His grip gets even tighter making you feel light headed from the loss of oxygen. He slowly lets go of your neck and pushes his finger into your heat again. You moan into his lips and he feels his cock getting harder. 

He pushes in another finger and you moan into his ear. “Jeno please!” You beg and he laughs cockily at you. He kisses your cheek before moving to your ear. 

“Please what, princess? What do you want?” He asks and you groan in frustration. 

“Please. Mphh… Want you inside me.” You say, whining when his fingers start to pump faster and harder into you. 

“Jeno! M’ gonna cum!” You babble and he groans into your ear. 

“C’mon princess, cum all over my fingers. I know you can do it. You’ve been such a good girl.” He says and edges you on even more. 

Your moans grow progressively louder and Jeno has to clamp his hands over your mouth again to muffle them. You feel the knot in your stomach tighten before it breaks. You finish with a loud moan that’s muffled but he doesn’t stop his ministrations. He moves his fingers even faster causing you to try to push him away. 

“Jeno! M’ sensitive!” You muffle out, gripping his arm hoping that he’ll remove his fingers but he doesn't. 

He grabs your hands and pins them against the bed again. He licks a stripe up your neck and sucks harshly again, leaving a trail of his marks starting from your ear all the way down to your chest. 

“Jeno, I’m gonna-” You're interrupted when a second orgasm washes over you and you let out a shrilling moan, hoping that no one was awake to hear. 

"That's it baby.” He says and slowly pulls his fingers from your heat. 

You babble and hum out incoherent words as you try to catch your breath. He pushes his shorts past his dick and gets on his knees. You look at his angry red tip. He was so huge and you gasp as you try to squirm away from him. 

“Jeno, I can’t.” You attempt to say through heaving breaths but he just laughs and grips your thighs to bring you back closer to him. 

“Yes you can, baby. I know you can take it." He says and spreads your legs further apart. He lines up his tip with your entrance. He lets out a quiet groan when he feels your gummy walls around him. 

You bite your lip to not let you moans out as you feel his bare dick inside you and you try to catch your breath. He was so much bigger than you expected. The stretch was too painful as he quickly pushed himself all the way in. He was bigger than anything you’ve ever taken before.

“S’ too big.” You mewl out and he laughs. 

You were fueling his ego even more and you didn’t even know it. 

“I know, baby. I know.” He says and stays still for a bit so you can get used to his size. After a minute, you nod your head and give him the green light. 

He pulls out and slams himself back into you causing you to put your hands over your mouth. You chant his name in your hands like a mantra and that only fuels him more. 

He starts thrusting inside you harder, faster, and deeper. You quickly wrap your hands around him and shove your face into his neck. He was reaching places that you didn’t even know existed. Your vision was so blurry, you felt like you were seeing stars. Your freshly done nails scratched against his back and biceps. 

“I can feel you, baby. You’re almost there.” He says into your ear and you nod your head. His grip on your hips were so tight, you were sure there were going to be bruises tomorrow. 

‘C’mon baby, cum. Cream all over my dick.” He says raspily into your ears and that’s all you need before the knot comes undone, creaming all over his cock. He groans at the sight and chases after his own orgasm. 

He finishes inside of you and leans his head into your neck. He places kisses all over the marks he left on your body. You smile and run your fingers through his hair. Giggling, you pull his head away from your neck and place a quick kiss on his lips. 

He smiles and leans his forehead against yours. He breathes you in deeply with you doing the same. The smile never leaves both of your faces. Your tummy was so warm with his cock buried inside, you didn't want him to pull away. 

However he does and you wince at the loss of him. His cum leaks out of your whole and he reaches down to push it back in. 

“Jeno!” You yelp and he laughs before sliding his finger out. 

“Didn’t want it to go to waste.” He says while looking at his art work. Your core was throbbing with spurts of white escaping and he felt himself getting hard again but he knew you couldn’t go on anymore. 

He grabs his discredited shirt off the floor and wipes at your core before grabbing another pair of panties from your bag. He slides it up your thighs and places a kiss over them before pulling his own shorts and boxers up. 

You get up from the bed to go pee before getting back into bed with him. He wraps his arms around you again as you lay close to him. You sigh blissfully as he places his head in between your boobs. He gets a perfect view of your neck covered in his marks from there and smirks. Your hands go to his hair and you start playing with it. Sooner or later the both of you pass out from exhaustion. 

-

Your eyes flutter open as you look around for Jeno but he is nowhere to be found. The sunlight from earlier is now gone. You get out of bed and change into a pair of sweats. You knew it was a bit chilly outside since you could see the tree leaves swaying back and forth. 

You go to Jeno’s bag and pull out a black hoodie. Quickly slipping it on, you walk outside to the bonfire where everyone is sitting. You walk up to Jeno who gestures for you to sit on him. You sit down on his lap and wrap your arms around his neck. 

He passes the blunt to Jaemin before wrapping his arms around you. 

“Do you want a drink, Yn?” Jisung asks and hands you a cup filled with jungle juice. You slightly thank him before taking a sip. 

“Good?” The man under you asks and you nod your head at him. 

He glances at your hoodie and notices that it’s his. He doesn’t say anything but he smiles at the thought of you wearing his clothes again. 

You watch the fire as everyone around you engages in their own conversations. Looking around, you catch Jaemin looking at you and Jeno. He brings his hands up and gives you a thumbs up which causes you to laugh slightly. 

You look back down to Jeno to find him already staring at you. He slightly chuckles and intertwines your hands together. You smile sheepishly and he can’t help but to plant a kiss on your cheek. You gasp and hit his shoulder lightly with your free hand while he laughs. 

You pull your phone out from your (his) hoodie pocket and furrow your eyebrows when you see that Giselle started following you on Instagram. Quietly, you show it to Jeno who rolls his eyes. 

“Just block her, that’s what I did.” He says and you nod your head but you don’t actually do it. You just turn your phone off. 

-

Unfortunately time flew by too fast and you found yourself in class 3 months later. Your professor was rambling on about something that you could care less about. You looked at the clock and let out a breath of relief when you noticed that there was only 5 minutes left of class. 

Quietly, you start packing up your bag and shutting down your laptop. Just as you finish packing, the professor dismisses you guys while talking about the assignment due next week. You jump out of your seat as soon as she’s done talking and quickly walk out. 

Your phone pings and you look at it while walking. 

we’re waiting for you baby -jen

okay, coming! :) -princess 

You quickly speed up and walk over to the parking lot where everyone was gathered around their cars. You happily skip to Jeno who’s leaning against the hood of his car. His arms open wide as he waits for you to embrace him. 

He groans when you throw your arms around his neck and smiles. 

“Missed you.” He says and squeezes you tighter to him. 

“You just saw me this morning.” You say with a giggle and he shrugs his shoulders. 

“I always miss you.” He admits and kisses you quickly on the lips. 

Jeno and you finally made it official a few weeks ago after “talking” for two months. You guys were on a date like usual only this time you guys were walking in the park and enjoying the first snowfall of the season. 

“I love the snow.” You say, smiling wildly as you catch a falling snow in your hand. 

Jeno observes the way your eyes light up as you bring it closer to your face to inspect it. He felt his heartbeat fasten and he knew he had to ask you right then and there. He tugs on your hand that he was holding and you look up at him. 

What’s wrong?” You ask as you stare into his eyes. 

Jeno inhales sharply before looking at you. 

“Will you be my girlfriend?” He asks quickly and your eyes widen. 

You softly let out a laugh and wrap your arms around him and he reciprocates. You pull away and plant a kiss onto his lips before pulling away and squealing with a “Yes!” 

He laughs at your reaction and brings you in closer. His hand going to cradle your head as he connects both of your lips together again. 

Your arms go to his waist as you hold him tightly while kissing him back. He pulls away and you nuzzle your head into his chest. His arms squeeze and pull you in closer. The snowfall started falling harder but you both didn’t care. You stood there in each other’s embrace as the snow hit the ground.

“Let’s go.” Jaemin says and the eight of you pile into the cars to head over to lunch. Jeno opens the passenger door for you and you quickly get in before he closes it and rushes over to the driver’s seat. He gets in and places his hand on your thigh. 

You smile and grab his hand that’s on yours before he reverses his car and pulls out of the parking lot. Jeno wasn’t in your plans when you first arrived but you’re so glad he meddled his way into your life. As you look over at him, you smile and press a kiss to his cheek which makes me smile. 

His eyes make those cute little crescent moons that you love so damn much. He brings your hand to his lips and kisses the back of it before placing your hands back into your lap. You fell hard for Jeno and you still continue to fall hard for him. 

No amount of measurements could measure how happy you feel right now. If falling for someone felt this good, you would’ve done it a long time ago. But then again, maybe it only feels good because it’s Lee Jeno you’re falling for. 

End.

Thank you So much for reading my first ever fic! I spent so much time planning and rewriting this, but I'm glad to finally have it out for you guys to read. Sending you lots of love and kisses!

xoxo, jenoroyals

[sxcret-garden]

Haechan ღ Painted with You [M]

ღ NCT Dream Haechan x fem!reader ღ feat.: short mentions of Renjun & Jeno ღ words: ~15k ღ genre: college AU, fwb to lovers, exes to lovers, fluff, slice of life, slow burn, pining, reader is a little dense, angst, humor, smut (switch!Haechan (but sub-leaning), oral (both receiving), hair pulling (idol receiving), unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, some begging, fingering, handjob, edging, orgasm denial (idol receiving), dry humping) ღ warnings: alcohol consumption, depiction of anxiety and reader feeling burnt out, mentions of unhealthy coping mechanisms

Desc.: You and Donghyuck were a couple back in high school, each having your own reasons for dating the other, but ultimately what you seeked out in each other was a distraction. Now that you meet again five years later, you both come to realize that the connection between you is still there, and eventually it’s crystal clear that the people you’ve become won’t be as easily separated as back then.

Author's note: aaaa I've had this in my drafts for sooo long avoiding to proofread it cause I wasn't happy with this at all... so now I finally came back to it to edit a bit and I think in the end it turned out quite okay^^ I hope you guys like it 🫶

There’s a hint of victory in the smile he gives you when you sit down next to him. Like he knew it would come to this - that you’d get bored of exchanging mundanities with the others and eventually find yourself drawn to him as your only escape. And it’s not like you didn’t know it too, it was clear from the moment you greeted each other with a hug that lasted shorter than it should have, and at the same time felt more familiar than you wanted it to. Yet his stance is inviting as he turns his whole body towards you in his seat, and the curiousity in his eyes is apparent.

“Long time no see,” he says, and it comes out softer than you would’ve expected it to. And he probably had the same thought, because he’s clearing his throat now, talking more firmly as he continues, “What have you been up to?” The last time you’ve seen each other was at your high school graduation ceremony, and since then it’s been almost five years. Which, as your former class president Renjun had decided, was about enough time to gather for a reunion. 

“Well, you know. This and that,” you try to avoid an answer, but of course he wouldn’t let you off the hook so easily. He knows you too well for that.

“Come on,” he snorts. “You can tell me. My time wasn’t spent in a purely productive manner either.”

“You probably spent about 3 years total on just playing video games…” you say with a grin playing on your lips, and you make him huff in disbelief, before his expression as well returns to a somewhat mischievous smile. 

“Now that was just tactless,” he says, straightening his back now. “I quit uni to go to work, and then started again with a different major. So now I’m a freshman!” He gives you a peace sign with his hand, sounding a lot prouder about the fact than he should’ve been.

“Feeling like 19 again?” you joke.

“Yes! Everyone automatically assumes I’m their age,” he explains. “But then I tell them I’m older, so I can make them work for me!” An exaggeratedly mischievous laugh follows, and you can only shake your head at his shenanigans.

“You haven’t changed at all,” you say, turning away and facing the bartender working just a few seats away. Originally you were all going out for dinner and nothing more, but when some girls suggested paying a nearby bar a visit, nobody could refuse in the face of getting some booze into their veins. Maybe you aren’t the only one who’s getting fucked over by life.

“One margarita,” you raise your hand and order, then you add, directed at Donghyuck, “Anything for you?”

“Just soju.” And so after placing both your orders, he adds, “Still can’t drink the adult drinks?”

“Excuse you, it has alcohol in it, so it is an adult drink. But if you’re asking if I still hate bitter stuff - yes I do.”

“I see… anyway, I’m not letting you get away without properly answering my question.”

“Too bad,” you respond. “Well…” And then you hesitate. You remember what it was like between the two of you in high school. When you were dating, each for your own reasons and certainly not because you had feelings for each other. But he still felt like a friend you could entrust your deepest feelings with - you knew each other like the back of your own hand. And yet, you find yourself hesitating in the face of five years passed by without a word from the other. It wasn’t like you had a fight or broke up on bad terms. It’s just that you both agreed it would be better not to see each other again, for reasons that seemed smart at the time. But now that you’re looking at the person he’s become and how much he seems to have grown up, you’re not sure anymore what those reasons even were.

“That bad?” Donghyuck interrupts your train of thought as he raises an eyebrow at you, and when you shake your head a short laugh escapes him.

“No, just… I’m also still in university,” you say. “I had to take a year off, so I’m trying to finish everything now. It’s not going great though.”

“Oh…” he looks away, directing his gaze at his hands that he’s hiding in the sleeves of his knitted sweater. “Are you managing though?” And that’s when you suddenly feel the past and the present connect - the way he immediately becomes serious when the situation calls for it, just like he has always done, makes you feel safe to keep speaking, and to keep your heart open, just for a bit.

“It’s… difficult,” you admit. The bartender sets down your ordered drinks, causing another pause, and you acknowledge it with a nod. “I’m trying not to do too much, but you know what’s it like living here.”

“Yeah,” he says. “That fucked you over before, didn’t it?”

“Yeah.” You fall silent after that, but not for long. Your conversation partner is Donghyuck after all, he wouldn’t let an awkward silence get too long.

“I have changed… by the way.” You raise your eyebrows at him as he speaks those words, letting the sip of your cocktail slowly trickle down your throat.

“Have you?” you ask. “Well, I mean… you’ve grown up.”

“Oh?” Suddenly seeing him straightening his back as he’s overjoyed, you can’t but giggle at the way his face is graced with a beaming smile now, but he glosses it over with a cough and a sip of his soju.

“But you sure are still the same guy,” you add, a nostalgic smile on your lips. 

“I guess,” he agrees, his features softening. Another pause falls upon you as you give your cocktail another taste, and this time it’s you who breaks the silence. Continuously chatting, you’re starting to feel a little tipsy from the sweet beverage after a while.

“I heard you got a girlfriend?” Donghyuck huffs, a wide smile meant to hide a bitter feeling appearing on his face.

“Yeah…”

“What about her?” you pry, sensing something off.

“Dumped me,” he simply says, then pointing across the room and at Jeno, one of your former classmates. “For that guy.”

“Ouch.”

“It’s whatever,” he shrugs it off, pouring himself another glass and offering the shot to you instead. “You sure you don’t want any?”

“I’d rather have my own drink, thanks.”

“Alright. Then cheers.” He downs the shot, grimacing at the taste, and when he sets the glass back down, he adds, “I don’t get why she went for him anyway. I bet it’s cause of all that muscle he got.” You can’t help but chuckle at his words, and you hit his upper arm playfully.

“You should hit the gym too and then see if you can get her back.”

“Very funny,” he replies dryly. “I’d rather die.”

“Understandable…” you reply, taking another sip of your drink as well. “So… you’re probably glad I finally came to you.” Donghyuck shoots you a questioning look and you explain yourself. “For a distraction. Like in the old days, you know?”

“Ahh…” He merely lets out a sound, before staring at his empty shot glass. 

“You’re not doing that anymore?” you assume.

“I guess.”

“Yeah… me too,” you say. “Or like… I stopped using people for it.”

You were dating back then, that’s true, but you wouldn’t go as far as to call yourselves high school sweethearts. You were both going through some stuff - for him it was a breakup with his first love, for you it was just life itself. When you were both at your lowest you started talking properly, and it soon became clear that you both wanted nothing more than to escape. And so you formed an alliance - as you used to call it, to everyone else you simply said that you were a couple now. You did behave like a couple, but just for the rush. The first time you held his hand you felt nothing, but when you made out secretly in the backyard of your school instead of attending class, that’s when you were overwhelmed with excitement. It was a stupid idea, you know that now too, and it only worked for so long. You spent the summer of your junior year together, meeting up almost every day and talking, and eventually distracting yourselves by making out secretly in your or his room. And then your final year came, and as you started seeing yourselves forced to take life a bit more seriously, you gradually met up less, until you both agreed that breaking up would be the best decision, so that you could focus on your studies and try to get into a good university. At least for your part, you still have mixed feelings when you remember that day. Because you know you made the adult decision, but at the same time you always end up thinking back to what fooling around with him felt like when you have a bad day now, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss it at least a bit. But you found other distractions - obsessing over tv series, finding just the perfect kind of music to drown out your feelings, and sometimes, whenever you could find a good excuse to drink with friends, alcohol. Though you’re being careful with the latter, just as you are now. One drink is usually enough to help you relax a bit and not pay all the things stressing you out so much thought.

“So when are we gonna start writing your redemption arc?” you ask nonchalantly, and he raises an eyebrow at you. “Your ex.”

“Stop that, for real,” he says, and the way he remains serious tells you your joke wasn’t well received.

“Sorry,” you utter.

“It’s fine. I mean, it’s not fine, but you know what I mean.”

“Yeah.” He’s playing with the glass in his hands, thumb rubbing along its edge as he keeps staring at it, and you take the last few sips of your drink, before you too start spinning the cocktail glass around between your fingers.

“Actually…” Donghyuck speaks up, now throwing you an entirely different look. “How about we get out of here. Maybe we could both use a distraction after all.”

“But-”

“Just for today.” You stare at him blankly, blinking once, twice, then a third time. This sounds like a bad idea, but at the same time you know you’re probably not gonna see each other for the next five years, just like it was for the past five. So what would be so bad about taking his offer now?

“Alright,” you say eventually, having made up your mind. “My place? It’s nearby.” His lips are parted slightly as he watches you jump out of your seat and put on your jacket. As the air around you changes, so does the look in his eyes, and a moment later he gets up too, his arm wrapped loosely around your waist while he holds the door open for you as he walks you out of the place.

“You really have changed,” you comment as you’re sneaking out, so none of the others would notice, and you giggle at your unnecessary secrecy once you’re past the entrance to the building.

“I can be a gentleman too!” he insists. “Of course a high school boy wouldn’t think of that.” You catch the pout that forms on his lips as he adds the last part, and you inevitably laugh, pointing at his face.

“But you’re also really still the same.”

You decide on going to your place, as it’s nearby, and you take a taxi there. Though you know this is only going to be a one time thing, neither of you seems to be in a rush. You take the elevator to the sixth floor, grinning at each other in silence the entire ride - maybe because this reminds the both of you a bit too much of the way you used to sneak off together all the time back in school. But once you arrive at your apartment, the atmosphere between you somehow changes, and as you’re walking over to your little kitchen to offer him a drink, he stops you, wrapping his arm around your waist. His touch is firm now, and he comes to a halt when he’s standing right in front of you, closer than a friend would, but leaving more distance between you than a lover would, and keeping his voice lowered, he asks,

“So… are we going to go right to the distraction part? Or do we need to pretend that we still need to warm up to each other first?” You find him staring at your lips, then returning his gaze to your eyes as he waits patiently for your response. And you don’t manage to come up with anything smart to say to him, so you simply take a step forward, wrapping your arms loosely around his shoulders, and you kiss him. His lips feel soft, just like you remember them, melting against yours perfectly. Yet there’s a firmness to his kiss that feels new to you. He used to always kiss you with eagerness, too much of it at times, impatient to feel more of you and for you to take control. It was no secret between you two that he actually quite enjoyed being put into his place by you, and now that there’s no such intentions apparent behind the way he moves his lips against yours, you find yourself having your breath taken away by the time you part. 

“You really did grow up well…” you mutter, barely an inch apart. “Did your ex teach you to kiss like that?” 

“Watch your mouth, Y/N,” he mutters darkly, another side of him that’s not exactly new to you, but one that you haven’t seen a lot in the past. And then he simply brushes his lips against yours again, softly and with care, quite in contrast to his sharp words. “I don’t wanna ruin this with thoughts about people I don’t know anymore.”

“Right…” you whisper, and before you can add a mumbled apology, he presses his lips to yours again. In between short kisses that inevitably leave you longing for more, he steers you closer to the wall behind you, until he has you trapped against it. Your shoulders meet the cold surface gently, and as you’re slowly getting to know this different side of him, you feel yourself being swept off your feet like he never knew how to. 

One of his hands resting on your waist, his fingertips creep towards your hip as you’re sharing an open mouthed kiss. A moan escapes you when he presses you up against the wall closer, and as he slowly parts from you, you can see the playful grin showing on his face now.

“You changed too,” he comments, and again he closes the distance between you without giving you a chance to question his words. Your hands finding their way up into his short hair, your fingers get tangled with the strands and you carefully tug at them as he deepens this kiss as well. He’s kissing you slowly as you let him have the lead naturally, and as you keep making out like this, you eventually find yourself burning up whole under his touch. He moves from your mouth to your neck eventually, and you lean your head back with a deep sigh as he begins scattering hot kisses all over the area. His hand that’s been propped up against the wall now finds the back of your nape to support you, and when he comes back up, he whispers a question,

“Do we keep going like we used to? Or do you wanna go all the way this time?” Drunk on his kisses, you pull him in for another one on the mouth, and as you part you mutter,

“We’re not kids anymore. Let’s go all the way.” You step aside and he lets you, and you reach for his hands to walk him over to your couch. Giving him a push, he lets himself fall back onto the sofa, leaning against the backrest as his curious gaze never leaves you. “Don’t need this anymore…” you mumble as you pull off your shirt and throw it somewhere onto the ground, and then you crawl into his lap to straddle him. His hands find purchase on your hips immediately as he looks up at you with warm eyes. You cup his face in your hands and you lean in, capturing his lips in a teasing kiss. Sinking your teeth into his bottom lip, you lure a breathy moan out of him, and wanting to hear more, you keep kissing him like that. Feathery touches that would for sure make him want more eventually become overshadowed by you rolling his hips on top of him, and with each time he lets you hear his voice you become more eager. It’s almost as if you’ve become the one who can’t wait, and he’s the one acting with patience.

“Never knew you could turn me on this much,” he mutters as you pull back, moving your hips at a leisurely pace. You can undoubtedly feel the bulge in his pants, and it’s certainly not leaving you unaffected.

“I grew up too, Hyuck,” you say, and then you bury your face in his neck. You kiss a trail up to the spot right below his ear as he leans back, and his hands wander up your sides and to your back when you start nibbling on his skin. 

“Mhm… you did, hm?” he answers. He finds the clasp of your bra and undoes it, and as the piece of clothing slides down your arms, you sit back so he can take it off you and fling it to the ground as well, somewhere in the general direction of where your shirt should be. He holds onto your sides as he takes in the sight in front of him, and as he draws closer to connect his lips to the skin on your chest, you can hear him saying,

“I know I never told you this as a boy but you look beautiful. I really regret not saying that to you.” He kisses his way up from the valley of your breasts to your throat and then back to your mouth, and just before he can connect his lips to yours, you whisper,

“It’s fine. I might’ve actually fallen for you if you had done that.” You laugh, and he does too, but his grin has a different meaning to it than yours.

“Don’t say that. We don’t want anything unfortunate to happen.” Connecting his lips to yours, he runs his tongue across them to ask for permission to enter, and without protest you let him deepen the kiss.

“Now you’re the one who said it,” you mumble a response in between kisses. “That’s a stupid thought anyway.”

“Right.” His fingertips dance south along your spine, and he eventually tugs at your pants as a sign that he wants those off as well. And so you peel yourself out of his hold, and while you’re discarding your jeans, he slips out of his shirt, and both clothing items land somewhere on the floor, soon to be forgotten. He makes you lie down flat on the couch as he crawls on top of you, and when he leaves a trail of small kisses up your torso, one of his hands finds its way to your hips, thumb hooking under the fabric of your panties.

“These too,” he says. “I want these off too.” You give him the okay to take them off as you comb your fingers through his hair once, and as soon as he’s gotten rid of the last piece of clothing on your body, he lowers himself to let his lips draw a map of your figure. Feeling his warm hands against your sides, you let out a sigh as you lean your head back and you close your eyes for a bit, just enjoying the way his kisses feel against your skin. Your hands fly to his hair again, and you find yourself massaging his scalp as he’s slowly going down on you. You let him lift your legs up onto his shoulders eventually, and when he buries his face between your legs, you can’t but let out a small moan. Tongue lapping at your folds, he hums at your taste, and then he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking on it gently. 

“That feel good?” he asks, slurring his words a bit, and you nod, tugging at the strands of hair between your fingers.

“Yeah. Keep going…” And so he does, alternating between teasing you with his lips and the tip of his tongue, and when he retrieves one hand to slide his fingers inside you, he comments,

“So wet for me, hm?”

“Y-yeah…” You can unmistakably feel the knot in your stomach being tied tighter with every single touch of his, and when he pumps his fingers in and out of you at a frustratingly slow pace, you find yourself begging for more. “Faster… p-please…” Donghyuck simply hums at your plea, before he obliges, curling his fingers inside you just a little faster. Gradually picking up on speed, the way he flicks his tongue against your clit along with the waves of pleasure that run through your body with each time he hits that sweet spot inside you make you slowly lose your mind, and you let him know just how good he’s making you feel by moaning in tune with his movements.

“Don’t stop… please don’t stop…” you mewl as you look down on yourself to find him already gazing back up at you, observing all of your reactions closely through half-lidded eyes. Just a few more repetitions and he’s throwing you over the edge, making you clench around his fingers as you throw your head back with a moan. “Fuck…” you mutter after he pulls out of you carefully, and he crawls back up to kiss you on the lips. You can taste yourself on his tongue as you share a lazy kiss, and once you part, you place your palms on his chest to push him off you.

“Your turn,” you simply state as you sit up and you make some space so you can comfortably kneel in front of the sofa. Getting the message, he hurriedly rids himself of his pants and boxers, and when he sits down in front of you, you don’t waste another second to wrap your fingers around his length. Giving him a few strokes, he’s fully hard in no time, and he watches as he leans back, enjoying the attention.

“You really have no patience anymore, huh,” he mutters, and you lick your lips before returning his gaze.

“Want me to torture you a bit? Make you beg for it? I can do that too.”

“I can beg if you want me to,” he retorts, the confident expression not being wiped off his face so easily, and you decide to keep that piece of information in mind. Just in case. But for now you’re not planning on making him wait - he’s right, you’ve become impatient, and you’re dying to know what kind of sounds you might lure out of him with his dick in your mouth. You swirl your tongue around his tip a few times, watching him part his lips slightly as he lets you hear a deep sigh and a praise directed at you. “That’s right…” he mutters, and when you take his tip into your mouth fully, he lets you hear a moan so sweet, you swear you could cum just from the sound of it. Slowly bobbing your head up and down and having your hand that’s wrapped around his base follow those same movements, you enjoy the way he keeps moaning at your ministrations, until eventually you hum in approval and he whines from the pleasure.

“Fuck…” A curse escapes him when his tip hits the back of your throat and you gag a little, and you find yourself amused at how easy it is to make a guy whine as soon as you have him in a position like this. You go painfully slow, but he takes all of your teasing, and just when you start feeling bad for him because of how desperate his moans are, you speed up, making sure to take him in as far as you can. 

“Shit, Y/N…” he calls out to you. “Wait-”

“Hm?” You come up at his words, letting him slip out of your mouth.

“Wanna cum in your pussy…” The request makes you grin.

“So demanding…” you mutter, shooting him a challenging look.

“Please…” he tries to convince you, his pupils shaking as he’s awaiting your answer. But you’ve already made up your mind on how you’re going to proceed, and so you merely throw him a grin, before taking him back into your mouth. He throws his head back at you sucking him off at a faster pace now, probably in a mixture of frustration and pleasure, and as more curses fall from his lips along with your name, you know he’s close. You hum at his desperation and at the way he’s twitching in your hand while he’s bucking his hips up into your touch, and the next time you’re sinking all the way down on him, he cums with a moan. You try to swallow everything as he releases into your mouth, and when you let go of him you lick your lips to get the rest of it too, all while he watches with a hazy mind. And then you crawl into his lap, leaving a trail of kisses down the side of his throat, and eventually you say,

“Why not both?” You grab his face in one hand, gaze falling to his lips, and before he can say anything you kiss him to cut off his train of thought. “We have so much time tonight…” you mutter against his lips in between kisses, and he merely lets out small moans at your words. “We can do all the things we want. But let’s move somewhere more comfortable first.” And so you hurriedly walk over to your bedroom, Donghyuck pushing you against the mattress as soon as you’re there, and he doesn’t waste a single second to kiss you again. His lips nipping at your collarbones, you throw your arms around him, until finally you switch positions again, and you end up sitting on top of him, sinking down on his hard cock and biting your lower lip from how good it feels to be filled up like this.

“Fuck…” Now it’s you who’s cursing, fingers intertwined with his as you’re pinning his hands down to keep yourself stable. You know he’s drinking up the sight in front of him as you start slowly riding him, and the way he looks at you only turns you on more. 

“Shit, you look so pretty like this…” he mumbles, completely taken aback, and he sits up, freeing his hands to hold onto your sides instead. “Can I kiss you?”

“You’re asking that now?” you chuckle as you wrap your arms around his shoulders and he lets out a short laugh as he too realizes how ridiculous his question was.

“You’re right,” he mutters, leaning in. “Then I’ll just kiss you whenever I want.” A rush of heat courses through your body as he presses his lips against yours, and you roll your hips on top of him just a little faster.

“Please do,” you whisper, barely audible, before Donghyuck closes the distance between you again. You take your time making out, until both of you feel that you’re coming close again, and with one hand between your bodies, he starts rubbing your clit for you as you keep your pace.

“I’ll help you,” he whispers, unable to take his eyes off your face as you’re both completely drunk on the other’s touches.

“Mhm…” you moan, chasing your own high on top of him. You’re the first one who comes undone, digging your nails into his shoulders and burying your face in the crook of his neck as your high shakes you.

“Don’t stop, Y/N…” His words sound desperate, and you do your best to keep moving despite feeling the overstimulation building up. He has both his hands on your back now, and you let out a moan when you feel him dragging his nails down to your hips. “Shit…!” Spitting out a curse, he releases inside you, and finally you come to a halt. You stay in your positions for a while, waiting until your heartbeats have returned to a normal pace in each other’s arms, before you both lie down side by side, out of breath and grinning at the other.

“Didn’t think you’d get that good without me…” he mutters a comment.

“Hey!” you shout playfully. “What was I supposed to do if you just disappear on me like that?”

“You didn’t contact me either,” he tries to defend himself, but you both know it was him who stopped replying to your messages, even though your conversations were already scarce after graduating. For now you decide to say nothing - your mind filled with bliss from what your night out ended up turning into, you wouldn’t want to ruin the mood. Instead, he’s the one to break the silence.

“Wanna keep going?” he asks, scooting over closer to you and making you lie flat on your back, kissing a trail down your jawline and placing a hand on top of your stomach. “I wanna keep going,” he adds, more silently, as his fingers are already wandering south.

“Alright,” you mutter, your hand up in his hair again as he drags his fingers down your folds, dipping inside once and then coming back up to your clit to draw circles onto it. “If I walk weird tomorrow it’s your fault,” you add, laughing.

“You just made me wanna see that,” he jokes back, before pressing a kiss to the side of your throat and letting his fingers take care of you.

You keep in touch after that, texting each other throughout the day - even on those days where you barely find the time or energy to be social, you’ll at least send some memes back and forth - and meeting up whenever you both have some free time. It really feels like you’re continuing right where you had left off five years ago whenever you find yourselves unable to stop laughing because of your own bickering, or when you’re sitting side by side, having a more serious conversation and simply offering an open ear to the other. And at the same time something about the way you treat each other has undoubtedly changed. Of course you both grew up and you’re more mature than you were as high school students, but it seems there’s something else lingering in the air during every interaction you have, you just can’t really put your finger on what that is. 

You also keep meeting up to have sex. 

“So? What does that make us?” you ask a question into the dimly lit room, staring up at the ceiling. You’re both lying side by side on his bed, the sheets beneath you messed up as evidence of what you’ve been doing, and the chilly air in the room hitting your skin lets you cool down a bit.

“What? This?” Donghyuck asks, turning his head so he could look at you.

“Yeah,” you respond. “We’re not just friends if we’re constantly hooking up, are we?” Your words are accompanied by a chuckle, meant to tell him that you’re not being as serious as you sound. Or maybe you are, but mostly because your other friends keep asking where you’re sneaking off so frequently these days, and why you don’t seem to have the time to meet up with them anymore. And everytime you tell them you’re seeing a different friend, a part of you feels like you’re lying. Maybe that’s because they’ve stopped believing you too, and they keep urging you on to finally admit that you’re dating someone. But you’re not dating Donghyuck, right?

“Fuckbuddies?” He rolls onto his side, head supported by his hand, and he gives you a mischievous look.

“I guess,” you say, and after some consideration you add, “My friends keep asking who I’m meeting all the time. They think I have a boyfriend.”

“Well, what does it feel like when you kiss me?” You’re too stunned to speak for a moment, not expecting him to pose such a serious question.

“I mean… you’re a good kisser?” You grin at him, rolling onto your side as well so you could face him, and as you’re drawing near, he’s already reaching out to capture your chin between his thumb and index finger.

“That’s all?”

“I think so.” He lets his lips brush against yours, puffy and reddened from making out earlier, and you feel warmth wrap around you. You also feel safe with him, but that’s not exclusively related to him kissing you, so you don’t feel the need to mention it.

“Then I can’t be your boyfriend,” he mutters when you part.

“So friends… with benefits then?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, great,” you say, letting yourself fall onto your back, sinking into the mattress. “I can’t go around telling my friends that I’m seeing a fuckbuddy.” Your friend giggles beside you.

“I mean you don’t have to,” he says. “If it’s easier to explain, you can just pretend you’re seeing a boyfriend. I don’t mind.”

“I wonder…” you mumble, more to yourself than to him. “Then they’ll want to meet you, so… anyway.” You sit up, letting your feet dangle off the side of the bed. “I’m kinda hungry. You wanna order something?”

“I’ll make us some ramen. But we should shower first.” He sits up as well, and when you throw him a look over your shoulder, he cocks his head to the side, giving you another grin. “Together?” You laugh at his suggestion.

“You just want another round in there, don’t you? We’re never gonna get food in that case. I’m going alone.”

“Awww…” he whines in defeat and it makes you smile. You crawl closer to him, placing a peck onto his pouting lips.

“We kiss an awful lot for fuckbuddies, though,” you remark, and then you get up.

“I don’t think we’re kissing nearly enough…” he mumbles an answer. Amused by his words, you shoot him another glance, and then you trot off to the bathroom. 

“You free Friday night?” You glance at your phone screen when it lights up to quickly read Donghyuck’s message that you just received, and as you let out a sigh, you return your focus to the notebook in front of you. Skimming through your handwritten notes from the lecture you visited every wednesday afternoon a year ago still gives you anxiety - you’re not sure what more you’re supposed to study than this and the materials displayed on your laptop screen, and yet you don’t feel nearly prepared enough. You’re in your last semester - or at least you’re planning for this to be the last one - and you finally forced yourself to register for the exam you keep postponing because you horribly failed it the first time. The worst part is that it’s an oral exam, so no turning back once you’ve answered (or not answered) a question, even if a better response comes to you later on during the exam. And you hate that, because you know your brain tends to black out in stressful situations, and panicking while you’re supposed to recite your knowledge on a complicated topic doesn’t exactly help with that. You tear your eyes away from the materials eventually, taking another sip of your coffee and then picking up your phone off the small round dinner table in your flat.

“Sorry, I don’t have time then ㅠㅠ” You press send, and it doesn’t take long for your friend to reply.

“On the weekend? I’m busy Saturday but Sunday is fine!!”

“I don’t think I can make time until Tuesday. Sorry. Difficult exam coming up…”

“Then you should take a break!! I’m sure you’ve been studying all day” He’s not wrong with his assumption, but still you can’t bring yourself to set aside a few hours to fool around with him. You wouldn’t be able to relax and truly get the exam off your mind anyway, so you refuse again, even if it hurts you.

It’s been like this for a while now. The last time you’ve seen Donghyuck’s face was almost three weeks ago - after that university and sending job applications have taken up all your free time, and the few hours you had in between to rest you simply spent alone in the comfort of your own apartment, feeling too exhausted to even consider making plans with someone else. You know it might do you good to get out more for other things than going to uni, but at the same time you know you simply don’t have the energy right now - or you would’ve already scheduled a meetup with friends. It sucks, and you’re hoping for some space to breathe in between your schedules sometime soon, but at the same time you know you will be busy with uni until your graduation, and from then on you’ll be busy getting accustomed to work and proving yourself there. And the more you think about it, the more it starts to dawn on you that things will likely not change in the near future, and that somehow the life of a freshman and that of a senior don’t really match well at all.

But you brush those thoughts off for now. The last thing you need right now is a distraction, and so you get back to revising the contents for the exam.

And then comes Sunday afternoon, and you can feel the panic coursing through your veins as if you were about to suffocate from it any second now. You’ve always had some kind of exam anxiety, but it’s never been this bad, and you have absolutely no idea what to do with it except endure and hope that tomorrow will pass quickly. That’s when your phone buzzes to let you know you’ve gotten a message, and what you see when you open the chat room tips you over the edge. 

“This would’ve been more fun if we had watched it together~” - along with a picture of a laptop screen showing the credits of a movie, the interior of Donghyuck’s flat showing in the background. Your hands are shaking as you read his message, your head spinning because suddenly the stress and a feeling of helplessness overwhelms you. You end up doing the first thing that comes to mind - you call him. He picks up after the first ring.

“Jealous?” he teases you, and you stay quiet, your words suddenly stuck in your throat. Hearing only your ragged breathing, he sounds serious when he continues talking after a few moments of silence. “Are you okay?”

“No.”

“What’s up? Wanna talk about it?”

“...the exam…”

“Ahh… you’re freaking out because of it?”

“Y-yeah…” Tears well up in your eyes, but you fight hard to keep them from falling. You know if you start crying now, chances are you won’t be able to talk properly in order to explain yourself to him. “I studied everything but I don’t feel like it’s enough… I have no idea how I’m supposed to pass tomorrow…” A sob escapes you at the end of it, and Donghyuck doesn’t hesitate to answer,

“I’ll come over. Just wait for me and hold tight, I’ll be there in 30.” 

And so that’s what he does. He doesn’t even give you the time to refuse when he hangs up, and sure enough roughly 30 minutes later he’s at your doorstep. Putting down his bags and taking off his shoes, the first thing he does is pull you into a tight hug.

“Come here,” whispered against the side of your head as he’s already holding you close, he hugs you until he can feel some of the tension leaving your body. When he finally lets you go, he picks up a paper bag he brought with him, holding it out to you and you take it from him. “I bought them on the way. I thought you could use some comfort food.” A glance inside the bag reveals a box decorated with the logo of your favourite bakery.

“Oh my god… thank you!” you exclaim, and you give him another hug as he lets out a bit of an awkward laugh.

“Ah, it’s fine, it’s nothing. Let’s have these while we go over your materials together, okay?”

“Huh?” You take a step back and raise your eyebrows at him.

“I came to help you study. So you can kick ass tomorrow!” Throwing a fist in the air in a victorious gesture, you cringe a bit at his childlike enthusiasm, but at the same time you feel thankful. Like you had been in free fall for the past days and finally someone came to catch you.

“Okay,” you accept his offer to help, and then you walk over to the small table in your living room where your laptop and your notes are scattered all over. Briefly organizing them, you skim through them together, and when you’ve reached the end of it, Donghyuck starts asking you random questions related to the topic that he can come up with. And with every question that you manage to answer, you feel just a little calmer, until you’ve gone through everything several times and it’s long dark outside.

“You’re gonna do well tomorrow,” the guy sitting next to you tells you, throwing his hand up in the air to do some stretching and you do the same, your body aching for a bit of movement after sitting down for hours. 

“You think so?”

“Of course!” He seems almost offended at you doubting yourself now. “Look at all these things you memorized perfectly! You’re gonna be just fine.”

“You’re right…” you mutter. “I do feel more confident now.” Yet, you let your head hang.

“But…?” he asks.

“But… I know by the time the exam starts tomorrow I’ll be so nervous, I might forget everything…” He reaches for your hands, taking them into his and giving both of them a gentle squeeze as he looks intently at your face.

“Then you think about how well you just did and how long we just spent repeating everything you studied. With this much preparation, there’s no way you would fail.” You know that realistically speaking, that’s not necessarily true, but you decide to believe him for now. Putting trust into his words puts you at ease, so that’s what you’re going to do.

“Alright,” you say. “It’ll be fine.”

“Of course it will,” he says, laughing as if he had not a single doubt about it.

“But…”

“Another but?”

“It’s almost 2am,” you say.

“Oh.”

“Wanna stay over? It takes you ages to get home if you have to take the night buses, right?”

“It’s fine, I’ll just take a taxi,” he replies, adding, “I don’t wanna stress you out more by staying over.”

“No, I-” All the times you felt yourself forced to turn down his invitations to meet up during the past few weeks are suddenly fresh in your memory, and eventually you manage to say, “I’d actually be thankful if you could stay over… you know… keep the bad thoughts away…”

“Sure…” he responds, and growing very quiet suddenly, he gets up to wrap you into another hug. “I’ll stay.”

You each take a shower and get ready for bed, him throwing on some of his clothes you had lying around at your place anyway, and when you get under the sheets together, it feels different than usually when you sleep in the same bed. Neither of you has any thoughts about having sex for a change, and instead he simply pulls you close to let you rest your head on top of his chest. You wrap an arm around his waist as you listen to his heartbeat, already feeling sleepiness overcome you as you snuggle up to him and you can feel him drawing mindless patterns onto your skin. You feel a sense of peace and safety washing over you when your eyelids simply fall shut, and as you fall asleep you almost don’t register the way he presses a soft kiss onto your forehead.

When you open the email telling you that you got a C on your exam, the first thing you can think of doing is letting Donghyuck know. 

“I passed!!!” You send him a message, and he surely doesn’t let you wait too long for an answer, along with a little sticker of a bear wearing a gold medal and giving a thumbs up.

“I told you so!!”

“It’s all thanks to you,” you write. “We need to go celebrate! Drinks on me.”

“Sounds good~”

With a broad smile on your face you put your phone into the pocket of your padded jacket. It has become cold outside, and there’s a thin layer of snow on the streets from last night. It’s the beginning of December, and before Christmas and new years you’re still going to be very busy. You have two job interviews coming up, have to prepare for your final exams and in between you should find some time to work on your dissertation. Still somehow you’re confident that you would easily be able to find a date where you can go out for your little celebration with your friend, but when you run into him on campus a week later, reality hits you right in the face.

“Y/N!” Donghyuck calls out to you as he spots you among a bunch of other students, and you fall behind to briefly talk to him.

“Oh, hi,” you say, not having seen him at all.

“You still didn’t reply to my messages,” he remarks and you immediately pull out your phone, indeed finding that you’ve left him on read two days ago.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” you apologize as you remember that you clearly had the intent to respond to him, but then very obviously failed to do so. “Ah, if we can meet… today?” 

“Yesterday,” he corrects you. “But I guess that didn’t happen…” You can unmistakably see the disappointment in his expression, even though he’s doing his utmost to hide it, and you furrow your brows at the sight in front of you. 

“I’m sorry… I must’ve forgotten to reply while studying or something,” you say, unable to look him in the face. “You know, finals coming up.”

“Yeah… I’m studying a lot too these days,” he says, quickly adding, “But I guess as a senior it’s only natural that you’re even busier than I am.” His words sting for some reason, but it’s not like he’s wrong. Truth be told, you’ve been studying every free minute for the past few days, and in between you had a job interview that you don’t have the best of gut feelings about. You were so busy that you barely manage to have three meals a day, and yet you feel guilty about not being able to make time for him.

“I’m really sorry, Hyuck…” you say and he mutters an “it’s okay” as an answer. “But it’s not, is it?” To that he merely glances to the side, showing a sorry smile. And right then you have an idea. “You know what?” As you reach out to take his hand into yours, he raises his eyebrows at you, taken by surprise by your sudden action. “Let’s set a date right now. Then we don’t have to worry about me forgetting to reply or something.” 

“But… that won’t change the fact that you’re super busy…” he reasons, but you cut him off.

“It’s fine, I should be able to spare at least a few hours,” you say, opening your calendar app on your phone and scrolling through the days until exam week starts. “How about next Friday? Friday night sounds like a good time for a little study break and having a celebration instead.”

“S-sure.” You barely notice how he’s atypically dumbfounded at your enthusiasm, only focusing on the fact that you finally found a date to see each other again.

“Great! My place or yours?” you ask, already typing it into your phone.

“Mine… you wanna bring the drinks? Then I’ll take care of the food,” he offers, now taking his phone out as well, probably to put the meet up into his calendar as well.

“Sounds good,” you say in a rush. “Then I’ll see you Friday! Sorry, but… I really have to go now. I was gonna study some more at the library - you coming too?”

“Ah, no, I… have class in half an hour,” he explains briefly, and as you wave your goodbyes and you’re already running off, you fail to notice how his shoulders are suddenly slouched over and there’s a hint of disappointment in the way he looks at you as you’re walking away.

You sigh as you stare at the email you just received, and you immediately regret even checking your mailbox in the middle of studying in the first place. You got rejected for the last job you applied to - but at least you should be thankful that they let you know about it in the first place, right? After all, the last two companies didn’t even do that much after your interview with them. You gulp, trying to swallow all the disappointment bubbling up inside and attempting to shove it back down to where it came from, and then eventually you cross your arms on the table, resting your head on top and you close your eyes for a while. Another sigh escapes you, and you feel the weight of your responsibilities lay heavily on your shoulders. You’re trying not to beat yourself up over not having found a job for after your graduation yet - you know that everyone’s struggling with finding employment these days. But you really don’t want to take on a job you’re overqualified for, or one that’s not in your field of studies at all. You’ve already made too many compromises because of this, like being willing to move to another city for your job, or expanding on what type of positions you’re applying to. And still, nothing. It’s starting to get to you, even though you hate that it is, and even though you had told yourself to focus on your exams and your dissertation first and foremost. But all of these things stacked on top of each other have led you to lose your spark a bit, and there’s no denying you’re starting to feel burnt out. 

You tell yourself it’s fine, it will pass and eventually your life will get less stressful again. But for now you can feel that you’re at your limit, and you could really use some comfort.

“Right,” you mutter to yourself, lifting your head and looking at the date displayed in the bottom corner of your laptop screen. “Only a few hours to go. Then I can see him.” It’s Friday afternoon, and so you take a deep breath and bring yourself to study some more, before you can finally go to Donghyuck’s place, spending a full evening not having to think about any of this. Burying your head in your books and your lecture notes, you end up not realizing how fast the time is passing, and next time you check the clock, it’s already past 7. 

“Oh god…” you quickly pick up your phone, seeing that your friend already sent you a message asking where you are. You were scheduled to be at his place at 7, but somehow you completely lost track of time.

“I’m so sory I didn’t realize hwo late is is. Ill hurry!!” You type up that message as quickly as possible, ignoring the typos as you send it, and then you jump out of your seat to get ready. 

It’s almost 8pm when he opens the door for you and you apologize first thing as you hand him the tote bag with the alcohol you had promised to bring.

“Ah, but you thought of the important stuff,” he says with a forced smile, trying to brighten the mood a bit before he invites you in and you kick off your shoes and take off your coat to follow him inside.

“I’m really really sorry,” you say once again when you’ve made yourself comfortable on his couch. “I was studying and suddenly it was already this late…”

“It’s okay,” Donghyuck says as he carries over two glasses from the kitchen, handing you one of them. “We’re both busy, it’s not like I don’t understand.”

“But you’re upset.”

“A little,” he admits without looking you in the eyes, and when he continues talking, he does his best to sound cheerful. “But let’s not let that ruin the entire evening. We were both looking forward to today, right?”

“Yeah,” you say. “You won’t believe how glad I am to finally be here,” you add, and you feel the way your body relaxes just by being near him. You earn yourself a bright smile for that comment, before he lifts up the glass in his hand.

“I found the recipe for this a few days ago and wanted to try it,” he says. “I thought it’s your style.” You find a few ice cubes swimming in the beverage he handed you, along with a slice of lemon. The color is a dark shade of yellow at the bottom, and completely transparent at the top, and you nod at the presentation.

“It looks good,” you say. “I’ll try it. Cheers!” Each taking a sip, you agree that you like the taste, and the guy sitting next to you on his sofa explains,

“The recipe says you should put a bit of mint in as well, but… I didn’t have any.”

“I think it’s good the way it is… but, I’m starving. Let’s order food?”

“Me too,” he answers, getting out his phone. 

You order takeout, and while you eat and drink, you watch a movie that you’ve both been wanting to see for some time. You end up chatting here and there during less interesting scenes, and even though you enjoy the movie overall, you enjoy talking to him more. Eventually, as your eyelids begin to feel heavy, you rest your head on his shoulder and he lets you, and you don’t think anything of the peaceful smile he gives you upon feeling you so close to him. He puts one of his hands on top of your thigh, mindlessly rubbing his palm up and down, and by the end of the movie you can’t deny anymore that his actions are affecting you. Credits still rolling, you turn your head to face him, and wordlessly you kiss him, his lips melting against yours. You part for a mere second in which you put your hand behind his neck, and as you let yourself fall against the backrest of his sofa, he hovers above you, distance closing again. 

“Hyuck…” you breathe his name when you part the next time. “Need you…”

“Let’s go somewhere more comfortable,” he mutters into a sweet kiss, and then he gets up, taking you by your hands to pull you up along with him. As soon as you step into the bedroom you pull him in for another kiss, and you stumble backwards as he steers you towards his bed. He barely lets you lie down when he’s already on top of you, kissing you more deeply. Tongue running across your lip to ask for permission to enter, you allow it without hesitation, and you moan at the way he kisses you slowly but passionately. 

“I’ll take care of you,” he says after parting, “just lean back, okay?”

“Okay…” you answer and he lets his fingertips wander down your clothed body. Undoing the button of your jeans, he unhurriedly slips his hand inside them, and he watches you intently as his fingertips brush against your soaked panties, his voice sultry as he teases you, “So wet already… I didn’t know you were that desperate for me…” Before letting you answer, he leans in to place a lingering kiss to the corner of your mouth, starting to rub up and down between your folds slowly.

“I thought I’d go crazy without this…” you confess, arms wrapped around him and one hand up in his hair. You play with his locks as he teases you, and you whine, “More, please… don’t make me wait even longer…”

“What do you want, baby?” he asks, and then he buries his face in your neck, leaving kisses there as you throw your head back.

“Anything… even if it’s just your fingers, please just get me off…” you beg, only now realizing just how desperate you really are. Donghyuck gulps at your words, and he kisses his way up to your jaw and along it, until his lips are hovering right above yours.

“Tell me how badly you need me…” he mutters, pushing the fabric of your underwear aside so he could touch you directly. “I wanna hear everything.” As he starts rubbing small circles on your clit his lips go back to tending to your neck, kissing and nipping on the sensitive skin and making it that much more difficult for you to form coherent sentences. Still you can’t but do as told.

“So bad… need you so bad,” you mewl. “I tried to get off so many times, but nothing feels as good as when you touch me…” He hums at your words, granting you a finger dipping inside your pussy for just a moment in return and gasping at just how wet you are.

“I’ll make up for it,” he says. “I’ll make you cum so good.” You whimper, and then you instinctively buck your hips as his finger ghosts above your entrance. You hear him curse through gritted teeth at how needy you’re becoming, and blood rushes to your head from the thought alone that your state could turn him on so much as well.

“Please… just give me your fingers…” you whine, and to your surprise Donghyuck doesn’t drag out his teasing for longer. And so you cry out when he pushes inside, pumping in and out of you while watching your every reaction to his touch. “Fuck…” you hiss, already seeing your high approaching from far away. “I’m not gonna last long…”

“It’s okay,” he coos over you. “Wanna feel you cum around my fingers… can you take another one?”

“Y-yes… yes please…” you say mindlessly, only being able to think about how you want to feel him more. The stretch is bearable when he pushes into you with three fingers, and when he presses his thumb against your bundle of nerves, fingering you skillfully, you think you’re about to lose your mind. “Fuck… yes… don’t stop, please…” you mewl as he slowly picks up speed until he can see the bliss on your facial features. At this point all you can do is moan his name and dig your nails into his shoulder blades as you cling to him, bucking your hips in chase of your orgasm. 

“Shit, you’re so pretty…” you hear him mutter under his breath as he marvels at the sight in front of him, and next thing you know your whole body is shaken by the force of your high. You whine as he fucks you through it, right until your last aftershocks, and then you simply close your eyes as you lay back on his bed, feeling the exhaustion from the past weeks taking over you. Licking his fingers clean after pulling out of you, he then captures your chin between his thumb and index finger to make you look at him.

“What do you want me to do next?” he asks, his words sounding maybe even sweeter than usual to your ears, and you blame it on the way your mind is still in a haze from your orgasm. You think about it for a short while, and in the end you simply snuggle up to him closely.

“Let’s just… stay like this for a while,” you answer. “If that’s okay with you… I think I just need to be close to you.”

“Sure…” Donghyuck mutters, a bit taken aback by your response that must’ve come very unexpectedly to him. However, he doesn’t hesitate to put an arm around your frame, making you feel safe in a warm embrace. “That good?” he asks, and when you nod he presses his lips against your forehead, lingering there for a while.

You don’t move, not knowing how much time is passing while you’re merely listening to the other’s breathing and enjoying each other’s warmth. At that moment, you wish you could stay like this forever, but as you close your eyes and begin to relax, all your thoughts from the past weeks about your situation with him catch up to you one by one. Deep inside you know it can’t stay like this. And the longer you’re dragging this out, the more clearly you can see just how unfair this is on him. And so eventually, you don’t see any other plausible course of action to take next than to start talking.

“Thank you… for being by my side,” you mutter. Your hand having found its way into his, you’re playing with his fingers, eyes focused on that. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you lately… really.”

“Of course!” he responds, moving back a bit to get a proper look at your face. “You know I’d do anything for you.” You chuckle at his exaggerated words, letting go of his hand and ruffling his hair instead.

“I’m glad to have met you again,” you continue. “But… I’ve been thinking, you know? And I don’t think we can go on like this.”

“What…?”

“Just… I’m only gonna get busier, you know…?” The exact moment that he sits up, his comforting touch being torn away from you as he stares at you with disbelief on his face, you inevitably begin to feel like you fucked up. But you started this now, and there’s no way you could dig yourself back out of this mess, so you decide it’d be for the best to just see it through and be honest with him. “You know that I could never pay you back all that you’ve done for me… Hyuck.” You call out his name, but he barely even reacts with nothing but a blank expression in his eyes. You could’ve sworn you’ve never seen him this pale. “I’m gonna graduate, Hyuck. You’ll still be a student when I start working. Hell, I might have to move somewhere completely different if I don’t find a job in this city soon. And once I do find employment, I’m gonna have to work my ass off to prove my worth. I won’t have time to fool around like this anymore…”

“Fool… around…?” he repeats, speaking slowly, as his expression suddenly reflects a hundred complicated feelings. “Fool around… was all this is to you?”

“I mean… we’re friends too, obviously-”

“Y/N,” he cuts you off, and the way he says your name stabs you like a knife. “I have feelings too, you know. You can’t just…” A bitter laugh escapes him. “You’re going to tell me that it’s better if we didn’t see each other anymore, aren’t you?”

“No!” you immediately refute. “I mean-... look, we can stay friends, but I don’t know how much we’ll actually be able to see each other-”

“Friends?” he repeats in utter disbelief. “You don’t realize it, do you?”

“Realize what-”

“I’m in love with you, Y/N. I love you.”

“What…?” That is all you manage to reply to his confession. You really did never notice it, and so this comes as a shock to you. You realize that maybe him saying he’d do anything for you wasn’t an exaggeration at all, but you didn’t think he’d keep this fuckbuddy thing up if he had feelings for you all along. As if he had read your mind, he says,

“I’m sorry… I-... I didn’t want to tell you like this…” he speaks, his head hanging low now. “Not when I know you have a thousand other things to worry about, but… I just couldn’t… you said all these hurtful things. I don’t think you know how much hearing all that just now hurts.”

“I-,” you begin, but you don’t know what to say. You stare at him in utter disbelief for a moment, and then all of a sudden, from one second to the other, you feel like you’re going to suffocate if you don’t get out of here as fast as possible. “I… I can’t do this right now.” You get up off the bed and zip up your jeans. Your head is in chaos and your emotions are all jumbled up, but the one thing you can clearly feel is the anger burning in your veins. You truly are upset that he dropped such a bomb on you just before exams start and you need a clear head more than anything. “I’m going home… sorry,” you mutter under your breath, and without another look back at the guy who can’t do anything but watch as you’re slipping out of his grasp once again, you walk out of the door.

“Good luck for your exams” You let out a sigh as you finally delete the notification of the message Donghyuck sent you four days ago as you’re on your way to uni for your last exam. It’s Friday noon and you can’t wait for all of this to be over, the beginning of winter break feeling like you’re finally about to reach the safe shore after you’ve been almost drowning for weeks. 

You didn’t talk to Donghyuck for the entirety of the week - of course, or you would’ve long answered his message that he sent you on Monday. But you couldn’t bring yourself to, you didn’t even dare open the chatroom. Instead, you had focused on the necessities to get you through this week: sleep, eat, revise everything you studied, be on time for your exams, rinse and repeat. And now that it’s already the last day of this nightmare, you can’t wait to simply crash into bed once you arrive home tonight. 

It’s true that you’ve been feeling the relief after every single exam you finished, like some of the weight was taken off your shoulder with each time you walk out of a lecture hall. And yet you still feel the tiredness in your bones, but there’s something else tugging at your limbs and trying to make you stop running from one task to the other. However, you don’t let it. Too big is the fear of what you might find if you do stop and have a look, so you force all thoughts out of your mind that have nothing to do with your exams. And today as well your mind is empty when you take your seat and you’re handed the paper you’re supposed to fill out during the next one and a half hours, trusting your memory and your ability to recall the correct answers you have studied to each question.

As you’re leaving the lecture hall, finally done with the last one of your exams, somebody calls out to you. You turn your head to find one of your friends catching up with you, greeting you with a lively expression on her face.

“We’re finally done,” she says. “Now we only need to wait for our final paper to be graded and then we’re free!”

“Yeah,” you respond, trying to sound cheerful but inevitably failing. You’re just tired at this point, and no matter how relieved you are that exams are over, you can’t bring yourself to be happy.

“What’s with you?” your friend asks, concern in her voice. “Do you have to redo one of your exams?”

“No, no, it’s nothing,” you assure her, but she doesn’t buy it. 

“There’s something up with you. Did studying take that much out of you?”

“I guess,” you reply as you walk down the hallway with her, but then you hesitate. “Actually… nevermind.”

“Hm? Y/N, what is it? You’re being really weird.” She steps in front of you, making you halt on the spot, but eventually she keeps walking. “It’s okay, I shouldn’t pressure you to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“...it’s about a friend,” you admit finally.

“A friend?” she repeats. “Did something happen to them?”

“No, just… we just haven’t seen each other much lately, and… yeah.” You lower your head and she steps closer.

“That must be a very good friend if you miss them so much,” she states, matter of factly, and that’s when you feel a stab right to your heart, putting you in physical pain.

“Right…” you mutter. Without you realizing, Donghyuck’s presence has painted your ordinary days in a color of hope, wrapping you in a feeling of safety whenever you’re with him and making you become way too comfortable around him. And now that it’s come this far, you don’t know how you’re supposed to scratch off all that paint anymore. The thought alone makes you feel sick to the stomach - you shouldn’t have been such an idiot. You knew where this would lead, and that you wouldn’t have the time to fool around with him anymore once you’ve graduated. A feeling of deep regret overcomes you. 

You shouldn’t have said yes when he suggested leaving your class reunion together.

When you get home that day, you finally let yourself feel the full consequences of the past weeks filled with stress and you crash into your bed immediately. You haven’t planned to go to sleep this early, but at some point you simply find yourself drifting off, and the next time you open your eyes it’s Saturday morning. 

Your body aches as you force yourself to get out of bed, and when you open the curtains and the sunlight blinds your eyes, you curse existence itself. You trod over to the bathroom, wash your face, and after finding yourself unable to look at your reflection in the mirror, you return to your little kitchen to get yourself a simple breakfast. Finishing it while scrolling through social media on your phone, you then get yourself back to your bed, plummeting down on it and grabbing one of the books stacked atop your bedside table that you never found the time to finish while uni has kept you occupied. You open it on the page you had left off weeks ago, and after fighting your way through roughly two and a half paragraphs, you give up and you put the book back to where it’s been resting untouched until now. Your mind just won’t let you focus on this now, so you pick your heavy body up off the comfortable sheets and decide to take a shower first of all.

Things continue like this for the next few days. Even though exams are finally over, you just can’t find it in you to rest properly. Neither going out to have fun nor staying at home and having some quality alone time sound appealing to you, and soon enough you figure out why. No matter what you do or where you are, there’s this constant pain in your chest dragging you down, because time and time again you find yourself impulsively wanting to tell Donghyuck about your day, or even just sending him a funny meme you found on instagram. But you can’t. In a way this reminds you of five years ago, when you started spending less and less time together in high school and then eventually broke up with each other. You recall finding yourself in situations like this back when you started college as well, wanting to tell him about something fun or exciting that happened but feeling unable to, because it’s already been months since you had last talked. However, there’s one significant difference between then and now. 

Then, you merely found it a shame that you couldn’t freely text him or talk to him anymore. But you had moved on, finding new friends to talk to about those same things. Now, it’s like someone had torn a chunk of yourself out of your chest, and you’re slowly bleeding out as your nervous system prevents you from doing anything at all, signaling you that there must be a more urgent matter to take care of first. And only once you come to understand that this matter has to do with nothing other than Donghyuck himself, that’s when something finally connects in your mind. Your days have been painted with his colors, but maybe you’re not supposed to get rid of all that paint. Maybe you’re simply supposed to embrace it, because after all those years he’s become someone who’s just right for you. And maybe he’s become someone you can even come to love.

No, he’s already someone you love, you just never realized it.

Without thinking, you open your chatroom with Donghyuck, his last message still unanswered, and you start typing.

“I need to see you.”

“Now.”

You stand on his doorstep, taking a deep breath. Donghyuck had texted you back eventually, offering to meet at his place, so that’s where you are now, nervous to ring the doorbell. It was you who suddenly decided to come see him, so why are you so hesitant?

Another deep breath, exhaled shakily, and you reach out to press the bell button. Maybe 10 seconds later, the door opens, and when Donghyuck mutters a greeting with a distant expression in his eyes, it’s like a slap to your face.

“Come in, I guess,” he says as he’s already turning around, and you do as told. Taking your shoes off, you follow him a few steps inside, and shooting you a cold look, he asks, “What do you need to talk about?”

You’ve never seen him like this. Even when you broke up at the end of high school there wasn’t such a dark expression on his face. At that moment you have no idea how to shake off the guilt anymore, and so all you can do is let the words burst out of you.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry for doing this to you.” He watches you with a look over his shoulder and you let your head hang, hoping he isn’t aware of the way tears are welling up in your eyes. “I can’t imagine how much I must’ve hurt you.” You add those words through gritted teeth, afraid of a sob suddenly making its way past your lips if you’re not careful.

“Then why are you the one crying?” he asks, staying surprisingly calm.

“B-because…” You gulp, and figuring that it’s too late anyway, you lift your chin to look at him and you use the sleeves of your shirt to wipe the tears from your eyes. “Because I’m an idiot. And I don’t want to see the person I love suffer.”

“Y/N…” he breathes your name before turning around fully to face you. He steps closer, but still keeps a good distance between you two. “You rejected me only a few days ago…”

“I know.” Your words are merely a whisper now. “Because I was scared… the future seems so overwhelming that I kept thinking I don’t have space for something like this. But… that doesn’t mean… that I didn’t still fall in love with you.” Silence follows, the only sound disrupting it being the soft sigh Donghyuck lets out before he finally closes the distance between you.

“Can I… hold you?” You nod at his question and you let him come closer, until you find yourself safely wrapped into his embrace, his warm breath tickling your neck as he buries his face there. 

“I’m so sorry for how I acted… you must really hate me now…” you mutter, and you’re almost startled when your friend lets out a laugh as he’s holding you.

“Yes, because I always go around hugging my enemies like this,” he says with a tired yet cheeky grin on his lips, and seeing that expression on his face suddenly washes all your worries away.

“Right…”

“It’s okay, Y/N… I know you had a rough time. I shouldn’t have confessed to you so suddenly either,” he apologizes, but you immediately shake your head, vigorously.

“No, don’t say sorry! I… I kind of get it… that it had to get out,” you say. “Especially after I said all those hurtful things to you.” He brings one hand up to your cheek, brushing his knuckles against the skin there and as his eyes scan your facial features you can unmistakably see how much he adores you. It makes your heart soar, and you part your lips as your gaze falls to his mouth.

“Y/N,” he calls out to you. “Does that mean… I can ask you to be my girlfriend now?”

“Sure…” you mumble, the urge to feel his lips on yours clouding your mind. “And when I’m your girlfriend… can you kiss me then?”

“Of course,” he chuckles, and he takes a tiny step away from you so he could take your hands into his, intertwining your fingers. “Y/N, would you be my girlfriend?” You can’t suppress the smile that creeps onto your face as you listen to his question, and you nod.

“Yes, please,” you answer. “Let me be your girlfriend.” And then he kisses you, slowly and carefully, and this time you aren’t confused on what those feelings he’s pouring into this kiss are. This time you know that it’s all the love he has for you, and you let it wrap you into a veil of warmth and comfort, feeling safe with him.

“I love you,” you mutter in between kisses, and eventually your hands find their way up into his hair. You kiss him back as you comb through it, and when you hear him whisper those same words back at you in between kisses, you once again can’t control the smile on your lips. You part to look at each other, finding an unmistakable desire for more behind his gaze, and so you begin moving as you connect your lips to his again.

"I'm sorry..." you mutter in between kisses, as you're steering him towards the bedroom, and he lets out a sigh against your lips in response. "I want to make it up to you."

"You don't have to," Donghyuck mutters with his hands on your waist, and you reach the bed, positioning yourselves so you could have him sit with one swift push against his chest. Crawling on top of him as he merely looks up at you, eyes half-lidded and lips slightly parted while he awaits your next kiss, he's already completely drunk on you.

"Then see it as me taking care of you?" you whisper, reconnecting your lips to his. Your arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders and him having his hands securely placed on your sides for stability, you merely keep kissing like that. Unhurriedly, because now you both know there's nothing rushing you anymore, nothing that would tear you apart.

"I love you." He mutters those words as you part, and when you open your eyes you can see him already nervously peeking up at you. You can't help but smile endearingly, cupping his cheek with one hand before you lean in for another sweet kiss to his reddened lips.

"I love you too, Hyuck," you say just when you pull back, and you let your fingertips wander down his upper body. Watching his face closely for his reactions, you pull his shirt off him, tossing it to the floor, and then you add, "Lie down for me, baby. I'll make you feel good." It comes as a surprise even to you to see him obey so quickly, and you let your palm glide down the bare skin on his chest and abdomen as he lies back. And then, when you reach for his wrists to pin them against the bed right next to his head, you can see a slight but still apparent blush creeping onto his cheeks, and he lets out a sound that's somewhere between a groan and a quiet whine.

"Fuck, you make me go crazy," you mutter as you press another kiss to his puffy lips, and when you sink your teeth into his bottom lip he moans into your mouth, the act alone sending heatwaves through your body. You instinctively roll your hips on top of his, earning yourself another small mewl from him, and then you trail kisses from the corner of his mouth to his throat. He leans his head back to give you better access, brows furrowed as he sighs in contentment. Forming his hands into fists, he digs his nails into his palms and whines some more as you continue grinding down on him, and the way you feel him grow underneath you turns you on as well. And then eventually you let go of his wrists to work your way down, peppering kisses all over his chest as he immediately throws his arms around your body, holding onto you tightly. 

"Hyuck..." you call out his name as you sit up briefly, and then you continue trailing nips and kisses down his body. "Let me hear you." He curses as your hand ghosts above his core, watching you with an expectant gaze in his eyes. You pull down the sweatpants he's wearing, and then his underwear, both just enough so his hard length is exposed. You wrap your fingers around him, and you kneel above him now, one of his thighs positioned between your legs, so you could get a good look at his face as you start to slowly jerk him off. 

"Look at me," you demand, and he does, the blush returning to his cheeks.

"Faster..." he mutters, barely audible, and you teasingly ask him to repeat himself. "Faster, please..." he begs through gritted teeth, and when you tighten your grip on his shaft just a little bit, he responds with a moan. "Can't take it..."

"Are you gonna let me hear more of those pretty moans?" you question, lips quivering in anticipation.

"Y-yes..." You don't know if your mind is tricking you or if his blush is growing just a bit darker as he answers, but either way you begin to move your hand faster, having him whining underneath you as he throws his head back. You watch with your lips slightly parted, and it's not like you've never seen him like this before, but there's just something about the way he gives himself up to pleasure when you have him in this kind of position that always gets you going. You move your hips in tune with the speed at which you get him off, grinding your clothed core down on his thigh, and he pushes his leg up just a bit to give you more friction.

"Shit..." you hiss, pleasure clouding your mind, and Donghyuck reaches down to wrap his fingers around your hand, guiding you into a faster pace. You collect the precum leaking his tip and use it as lube to glide down his length more smoothly, and as you can see on his face that he's about to lose himself to the sensation, you mutter a warning, "Don't cum yet."

"But-" he whines, and you take your hand away just before he can reach his high. "Y/N..." he desperately whines your name and you lean in to press a soothing kiss somewhere onto his chest, and then another one against his cheek.

"I wanna have you cumming inside me," you whisper, and when you sit back up you quickly rid yourself of all your clothes, in the end helping him out of his pants as well. You crawl on top of him, your hands placed on his shoulders for support, and you let out a curse as you roll your hips against him, his tip rubbing against your folds. And once again he whines, pressing his eyes tightly shut and digging his nails into your hips. 

"Just fuck me already..." he breathes, but you have other plans.

"Be good and I will, baby," you coo as you repeat your motion without letting him slip inside you. He begins to squirm underneath you, visibly fighting to suppress his orgasm, and you swear you could cum from the sight alone. "Fuck... you're so fucking hot like that, Hyuck..." you mutter through gritted teeth, his repeated whines sounding like music to your ears.

"C-can't... hold back..." And once again you stop the stimulation just as he's about to cum, and with a frustrated groan he throws his head back into the mattress, dragging his nails down your skin. You reach for his hands, and as you intertwine your fingers you pin them above his head, and you can't but coo over the desperate look he gives you, and the way his cheeks are reddening again.

"You gonna cum right when I take you in, aren't you?" you ask, smirking at him after pressing a kiss to his forehead. "So desperate for my pussy..." And he can't do anything but whine at your words, because you both know you're right, and him denying it would just make him look stupid. "Then cum for me, baby," you mutter against his lips as you seal them with yours, running your tongue along his mouth to deepen the kiss. You sink down on him, taking in his size with ease, and the second you start rolling your hips he releases inside you as he moans into your mouth. Heat rushes through your veins when you part and you sit up, letting go of his wrists and combing the fingers of one hand through his disheveled hair instead. 

"Didn't think you really would cum the instant you're inside me," you mock him, earning yourself another whine from him. "And I bet you're also gonna be hard again in no time if I keep this up," you mumble, rolling your hips on top of him slowly. "Such a sucker for when I'm in control, huh?"

"Yeah..." he breathes out, and you unexpectedly feel your heart swell at his answer. Usually he'd be fighting back by now, trying to battle you for dominance or at least being bratty, but today you really just have him at your mercy unconditionally.

"Is it because I finally said that I love you?" you conclude, as if he had heard your thought process.

"Huh?" You run your fingers through his hair again, and then you lean in for another deep kiss.

"Do you like it that much when I play with you like this, or are you being good because you're scared I'll leave if you're not perfect for me?" Donghyuck stares at you for a while as you sit back up, the blush on his cheeks fading, and when he finally reaches out to you to press your body against his for a tight embrace, he answers,

"No, I trust you. And I kinda like it when you sometimes use me." A storm of emotions washing over you, you bring some distance between you and him slowly, and after mustering his genuine expression for a while, you reach for his hands once again.

"Don't touch me," you order as you put them back into their place above his head. "And don't cum until I tell you to. If you wanna be my little toy you gotta be good, alright?"

"Alright." He gulps, taking you in as you're sitting on top of him, starting to ride him with one hand sliding down your body, fingertips reaching your core to give yourself some extra stimulation. Eyes dripping with honey, he keeps his hands in place, and the more you can feel him growing inside you, the more you can also see him struggling to keep his composure.

"Fuck, you're so sexy," he mutters eventually, and you hum a praise to signal him to keep going. "Feels so good... wanna be good for you..."

"That's right..." you mutter, your eyelids fluttering shut as you bounce on top of him, rubbing circles onto your clit. You position yourself so that everytime you sink down on him his tip would graze that perfect spot inside you, and along with listening to his words and the way his voice starts shaking from the pleasure has you seeing stars soon enough.

"U-use me, please... wanna feel you cum on my cock..." he sputters, and you moan at his pleas.

"Doing so well for me, baby... shit, nobody could ever make me feel as good as you..." He whines desperately as you keep your pace slow, in hopes of bringing him as close as possible to the edge as you're racing towards your own high. "Hyuck..." you mutter his name, your voice trembling. "Cum with me." Another moan falling from his lips and you feel yourself shaken by your orgasm, clenching around him as he spills inside you a second time. 

"Shit..." With a curse you collapse on top of him, finding him wrapping his arms around you in a comforting motion, and you add, "You were amazing." He nuzzles his face into the side of your head, lips brushing against your temple, and once you've caught your breath a bit you give him a proper kiss. "I'm sorry... for trying to push you away like th-" Donghyuck puts his index finger across your lips, shutting you up in the process, and with a soft smile he shakes his head.

"Stop apologizing," he says. "It's okay now. Let's focus on the future, and how we can build it together." His hand cupping your face and his thumb brushing against your cheek make your heart skip a beat, and you simply nod.

"You're right," you respond, and you lie back down on top of him, nestling into his chest. "If we just have each other, we can make it through anything."