#resurrect blog in case of emergency

[memento-mortalityplays]

eliza busted me out of tumblr jail, I'm back on @mortalityplays ✌️

[kentosovertime]

(n.) the delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are

toji x afab!reader, fiance!megumi - 2.7k words

A/N: here's a comeback fic for my blog resurrection, had this idea before I stopped writing and FINALLY got to it, enjoy~

CW: explicit content, explicit language, age gap, revenge cheating, manipulation, humiliation, dubcon language, your dad will do, virgin!reader, fingering, unprotected sex, rough sex, breeding, non consensual videotaping at the end, anger issues (rip the reader)

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“For fucks sake!” You screech, the sound of your rage swallowed by a bus that screams by the side of the road as you slam the hood of your smoking car shut. 

“At least it’s not in flames-” Starts a random passerby walking their dog, but is sent running when you send them a withering glare. After the weekend you’ve had and it’s only Friday night?

You open your phone, your glare turning to the long list of outgoing calls to every hotel within an hour of your apartment, all booked to no vacancy for a local festival. Your landlord really picked the perfect weekend to kick all their tenants out for “emergency” maintenance for an issue that was reported months ago. 

Someone must have threatened to report the living conditions, as his attitude quickly changed when he offered to reimburse the hotel costs if his tenants were forced to stay at one. 

Your gaze softens as you scroll through those calls to where Megumi contacted you, letting you know he had made it to the martial arts competition he was coaching this weekend. His soft spot and skill for taking care of children was what initially drew you to him, but right now you wished more than anything you could press on his name and he could come to your rescue like always. 

Calling a tow truck to bring your car to the mechanics wasn’t necessarily the issue… but being on the streets for the next couple nights was. With your car in this condition, it wasn’t like you could sleep in it, given your inability to find even a shity motel room in the worst part of town. 

You take a moment to mourn the fact that you didn’t move closer to where your family lives before realizing you really only have one option in front of you; Toji. 

The contact information for your boyfriend's father mocks you on the screen, daring you to call him, a perfect stranger, to come and save your ass. The lack of familiarity wasn’t based on a lack of effort on your part, having tried repeatedly to get Megumi to open up about his family. The most that you were able to glean was that his mother had passed away and his father wasn’t often present. 

“Hello?” A gruff voice answers on the first ring. You didn’t even realize you had pressed his number before he was on the line. “Sorry, Mr. Fushiguro? This is Megumi’s fiance…” An awkward, lasting silence stretches out between the two of you before you clear your throat and try again. “I’m very sorry to bother you, but Megumi is out of town and m-my car is billowing smoke a-and all the hotels are booked-” 

Toji smirks as you ramble, rather cutely he may add, grabbing his wallet and keys before he’s even told you yes to both of your requests. He chuckles under his breath as you struggle to not fill the silence, letting your words hang in the air again. 

“I’m on my way,” He hums as he twists the keys in the ignition of his car. “Get your stuff out of the car in case it explodes.” 

He barks out a laugh as he hangs up and hears a distressed noise of dismay leave your throat. You’re so easily worked up, he wonders if this is why Megumi has done everything in his power to prevent the two of you from meeting… a valid concern. Considering how that ex of his used to try to hang off of Toji. He shudders in disgust at the memory of the girl, still in high school and thinking she was worth a second glance. 

Something tells him you’d be a prettier sight. 

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

This is why Megumi has been telling you no… It takes everything in you to keep your jaw snapped shut as you watch his father prowl up to where you're standing over your suitcase on the sidewalk, nervously glancing at the vehicle he made seem may blow up at any second. 

You approach the car hesitantly when he waves you over, shocked that your legs work from how tightly your wound. He opens up the hood to take a look at what’s causing the smoke while you wait for your tow. 

“Here, sweetheart.” It only takes him a second to point out what's wrong with your engine, gently redirecting your finger when you point to an area in question. “I wouldn’t hold out too much hope that this is worth fixing… you may be looking at a new set of wheels.” 

Anger and frustration well up in you again, even as a flush of heat cascades down your spine at the small touch of his skin on yours. You’re thankful for the distraction the anger provides, given the other option is avoiding looking at how his tight black t-shirt stretches across his torso or drooling like a pitiful little girl. Your fiance is attractive, but there’s still a softness to his face. He lacks the hard planes and sharp angles his father possesses. 

“One thing at a time.” Toji squeezes your shoulder with a smirk, leading closer than he should. How is he supposed to help himself when you seem ready to snap with how tightly you’ve wound yourself? The tension in your back only winds further with how he kneads your skin. “If you need it, I’ll pitch in to help Megumi get you around for a bit.” 

Your mouth opens to stutter out a reply… or maybe a denial for such an open ended offer, but the horn of the tow truck stops you. 

“Let me handle that.” He hums. “I wouldn’t want the tow truck driver to try to take advantage of you.” 

Watching him leave, you pull the phone from your pocket, sending Megumi a quick update about where you’re going before your phone dies. You shove it back into its spot after you’ve powered it off, saving what’s left of the battery for when you’re able to dig out your phone charger. 

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Toji holds the door to his house open for you, bracing his hand on the small of your back as you cross the threshold to a surprisingly tasteful living room. 

“What?” You can hear the smirk in his voice, the shock must be written all over your face. “Expect a futon couch and a mattress on the floor?” 

“M-Maybe..” You rub your neck with a sheepish look, managing a small chuckle as he leads you down the hall to what you assume is the room you’ll be using. “Something about unmarried men and the lack of dining room tables and living out of laundry baskets.” 

The drive over had taken longer than you expected, he lives on the edge of the city, the houses given more space than what you’re used to from your apartment in the city. But it had given you the opportunity to partially acclimate to his overwhelming presence. All you had to do was not look at his face… easy. 

“I did have a wife.” He hums in thought. “The art of furnishing a house isn’t lost on me… Anyway.. This one is you.” He flicks on the light as he enters the spacious room, moving until he gets to another door, turning that light on too, the cocky humor back on his face by the time he turns back to you with a playful glint in his eyes. 

“You have your own bathroom… shower head’s detachable.”  He tacks on, watching you empty your overnight bag, setting your night clothes out before you turn your phone back on and get it attached to a charger.

“That’s not- I wouldn’t-” A shocked squeak flies from your throat as your eyes widen in embarrassment. 

“Your face is…” He howls in laughter. “Absolutely priceless. My room is down the hallway, last door on the right. In case you need me.”

“I-” His tone drips with innuendo, making the blush on your face deepen to a shade of crimson. So much for not thinking about him inappropriately. 

“So innocent, sweetheart. You’d think you’re still a virgin.” You watch in mortification as your future father-in-law leans cockily against the door jam to your bathroom, your mouth opening and closing, urging something to come out, an explanation, a lie, anything. Just something to make him not make fun of you. “Oh my god… you are. Even when you’re engaged to my son?” 

“He…” You wring your hands together, your voice barely above a mumble, looking down at your engagement ring in confusion, as if it could tell you the Toji’s lying to you. “He said he wanted to wait until w-we were married. That he’d wait…” 

He never said that it would be his first time, you realize. As quickly as your embarrassment comes, it's replaced with a low, burning fit of rage that’s ready to lash out. 

“Wait! You thought Megumi was a virgin?” He snickers meanly. “That’s fucking rich, hun. That ship sailed in fucking high school.” 

You listen, shaking with the anger that’s boiling inside of you, as he describes Megumi’s relationship with a girl named Himari, how he walked in on them more than once. 

Your mind starts to spin in circles, fueled by this rage that has nowhere to go. As insufferable as Toji is about this, you find your anger can’t be directed at him. It's Megumi that lied to you for the entire duration of your relationship, not his father. 

As your mind circles, every insecurity that you’ve had about your relationship that you so easily dismissed before bubbles to the surface one by one. He’s always working or volunteering somewhere. The apartment has just become a place that he sometimes sleeps, if he ever makes it home because he travels around so often. He even said he didn’t like his father. Admittedly, you can see how they would clash, but was that it? Or did he just not want you to meet Toji so his cover wouldn’t be blown?

Toji approaches you, leaning into that delicious anger to purr in your ear. “I could show you what you’re missing, sweetheart…” 

Your body doesn’t flinch as your eyes slide to meet his gaze directly for the first time. You nod ever so slightly in consent, your breath uneven from the anticipation that’s built in your core from when you first saw him. 

“I’m going to need a little more than a nod, swe-” It’s the spite that pushes you to kiss him first. Spite that doing this will hurt Megumi has much as he hurt you, and spite that if you have to hear Toji call you sweetheart one more fucking time you’d explode. 

The groan you swallow from Toji as he presses against you wipes any doubt from your mind as you press against his broad chest to push him to the guest bed and crawl up his body to grind yourself into the bulge in his pants, hungrily seeking out his lips again. 

“Eager little virgin, aren’t we?” He growls as he yanks your head back by your hair, baring your neck to him so he can nip at it. The lack of marks there by his son is a further invitation to take you for himself. 

“Ah-! Mr. Fushi-” A whimper escapes your mouth as he carelessly shoves a hand beneath the band of your leggings and panties and you squirm to pull away as his fingers immediately shove past your entrance to scissor you open. 

“Uh uh. That’s enough of that shit.” He bites a harsh mark into the juncture of your neck, grinning when you cry out with a mixture of pain and pleasure, fat tears welling in your eyes and spilling over, your core spasming around his digits he continues to bully into you. “I’m not fucking stopping until your dripping, sweetheart. I’m going to have you crying that its too much and I’m not going to fucking stop. Even if you beg.”

It stings, the foreign feeling inside of you, but that feeling is quickly replaced by a rapidly approaching orgasm. You can take him, you think as you reach down between you to palm him through his sweatpants. You’re ready for anything he could give you. 

Your efforts leave you breathless and end with you managing to work his pant’s down his legs as he rips your leggings from your body along with your panties. 

“Fuck-” He growl as you take ahold of his length and line him up with your entrance as you hover above him. “You better slow down or you’ll hurt yourself.”

“You’re too cocky for your own- oh fuck-” You hiss as you allow the head of his cock to breach your entrance. The sting returns and flares into white hot heat at your core, making you double over into his chest as each inch rips its way into you. Your hips rock needily into him, trying with desperate circles to work yourself open. 

By the third circle of your hips, Toji loses his patience. His hands reach out to grapple your hips, using his momentum to flip the two of you before he thrusts violently into you, fully seating himself before pulling from your heat to slam home again. 

“Broken in now, aren’t you?” He growls, slamming into you a few more times before the sting completely abates, making sure you really feel what he’s taking from you. “Took what you wanted like a greedy fucking whore. Now shut the fuck up and be thankful I’m giving you my cock.” 

He pulls out of you to manhandle you until your chest is laying against the covers, wasting no time before he’s hauling your hips back into where he kneels behind you, entering you roughly again and setting a punishing pace. 

“You take me like a trained bitch.” He pants, grunting as his hips slap against yours, sending the vibrations straight to your clit as you sob into the duvet. “You lying about this being your first time?” 

You don’t answer, your face planted into the covers from the angle he has you bent into. Toji growls in annoyance, gathering your arms behind you to pull you up against his chest before his free hand snakes around your front to deliver a harsh slap to your center, ripping a scream from you.

“Go on slut. Answer, daddy.” He slaps your clit again and you feel yourself gush around his length, pushed to the edge. 

“M’not lying, Mr. Fushigur-” Another slap has you trembling, fresh tears pouring down your cheeks as you build impossibly higher. “D-Daddy- M’not you just f-feel s’good. I’ve b-been wet since you showed up.”

“Greedy little thing’s so ignored by Megumi you have to result to fucking his dad?” He coos down at you condescendingly, degrading you further. His voice takes on a cruel tone as he starts circling your clit. “How are you going to explain to your precious fiance that you’re carrying his brother?” 

“W-What- n-no T-Toji you c- shit!” You cum suddenly around him, the image of you leaking his cum banging around your head until you're clamping so hard around him you’re pulling his orgasm from him. Shivers wrack your body as you feel the ropes of his cum pump into you and leak from where you’re connected.  

The two of you breathe heavily, your panting filling the room as you come down from your highs. In your haze you don’t notice Toji video taping his cock pulling out of your cunt or the cum that gushed out in its wake before playfully slapping your ass and walking into the guest bathroom to get you a towel. 

You slump against the covers, wincing as you reach for your phone when you see the screen go off with worried messages from Megumi about being near his father. Followed by numerous missed calls with the same message, pleading with you not to stay with him. That he’d rush home tonight to help you so you didn’t have to stay there. 

You scowl at the message, sending off something that gets right to the point. 

<Who’s Himari?>

You decline the immediate litany of frantic calls, fully shutting off your phone and shuffling out of bed to join Toji in the bathroom. Maybe the shower could be round two… and if not, you’d happily sneak into the master bedroom to make that a reality.

tag list: @sugarbooger513 @sugarmapoops @roughwithfluff @severelytalentless @yelzoldyck @silversslut @aazaard @dreamyyholland @wobblewobble822 @vantastic210@rafzaha @tirzamisu @chososhoney @littlemochi @bebechinas99 @firdaoz @saoney @meromelo @pelicanpizza @sukunassoulmate @damncakie @katgalle @honeyyjems [[if your blog name is crossed out i couldn't tag you]]

[misslaevna]

A little rant about episode 11

Just finished watching episode 11, and to be honest I am so, so disappointed. I'm not one to complain openly about something, but right now I feel like it's time to.

Spoilers below, also tw: personal opinion, if you can't take that, please do not read this.

Also I'd like to state that I like bsd. I love bsd, I wouldn't have a blog and a tiktok account dedicated to the series if I didn't - this isn't to hate on the series nor on Asagiri, just my two cents regarding the plot.

I have voiced my concerns to friends and mainly on discord how the current direction of the manga and the plot worries me, and I am beyond stunned that my biggest fear actually came true.

All the 'Fyodor is my comfort character' personal stuff aside, I feel like since the prison break arc started, the quality of the writing and the plot hit an all time low.

From my perspective, we got this huge buildup about Fyodor being this absolutely genius of a character. He is smart, he accounts for every possibility and there is no detail that he could possibly miss.

On the other hand, we have Dazai, who is, well, just as smart and perceptive as Fyodor.

So, we have two very smart characters up against each other, which I get why is challenging from a writing perspective, however (especially) since the intrudction of Time Cat Lady, I feel like the writing went from a carefully and logically built up plot to throwing in deus ex machinas and a looot of explanations afterwards to conveniently give the upper hand to Dazai.

I have no problem with Fyodor dying and Dazai emerging as winner (actually I kind of do because I would've loved to see the Agency or Atsushi or Ranpo take him down, but what else could have possibly happened anyways? Dazai is a fan favourite, we don't kill the money machine), however I have a bone to pick with the execution.

I think I would've loved to see a more carefully constructed plot where I can actually root for characters and actually worry for them. Asagiri pulled way too many 'oh they look dead but oh wait actually this and that happened which the reader wasn't aware of so they're not dead' shenanigas to the point where, in my opinion, as readers we simply just couldn't take any major character 'death' seriously - they'll somehow be resurrected anyways or it's gonna eventually be revealed that they weren't even dead to begin with.

And this was the case with Dazai and Chuuya here as well. To me this feels more like trying to put out a fire because of being cornered and having created characters so smart that they prove to be too difficult to write (at least in a pace fast enough for monthly chapter releases?) than actually putting effort into the plot.

All the 'well actually Chuuya wasn't even a vampire' bullshit to me was just way too fucking convenient. I'm happy that Chuuya is alive and well, but this too just served as a convenient plot point to give Dazai the upper hand while dumbing Fyodor significantly down.

I'm sorry but I didn't interpret Fyodor's character so careless (especially for someone who's very sensitive about his physical health) as to not take the antidote as soon as he got out. I didn't get to know Fyodor who would just fall for that trick Dazai pulled.

I really feel like we missed out a LOT on Fyodor with no backstory or whatsoever provided. His character stayed shallow and empty, and I'm actually really mad at Asagiri about this because he was supposed to be this very dangerous and complex villain but I feel like what we were teased with was just not delivered.

I really hope we get a more refined manga ending or that this will be better executed in the upcoming chapters.

Once again, I'm not mad about Fyodor dying, I'm rather disappointed by the way it was delivered. It feels rushed, it feels empty and it didn't live up to my expectations at all.

[beckleysbooks]

Chestnuts By The Open Fire

Who has recently spent time in a doctor's office, urgent care or emergency room? I've been lucky so far and haven't been to any of these places this season, but when out in public, I hear that chesty cough and cringe. Currently, I have way too many family and friends fighting an upper respiratory infection or covid itself. I've been there myself. Many years back I spent six months with a bronchial pneumonia that just wouldn't go away. I was living in New Zealand at the time and if anyone has ever experienced an Auckland winter, you'll know what I mean when I describe their winter months as cold and wet.

No, I'm not talking Northeast Ohio cold where temps don't rise above freezing for months and you just get used to your lawn being a blanket of snow. Winter temperatures in Auckland, New Zealand rarely dip below 40 degrees fahrenheit. Sounds like a reasonable way to make your way through the winter months, right? Well, that is what I banked on when I moved there in 1984. What I soon learned was, with no central heating, 40 degrees outside is like 40 degrees inside. Then, just add the heavy damp air into this weather equation; a cold, wet that soaks through to your bones .... and lungs. This constant dampness had me praying to be back in Ohio's freezing temperatures, but with the comfort of central heating.

There wasn't any central heating back in the 19th century either. Recently, I discovered a vacant old ancestral home in Carroll County, Ohio. While it is still standing after 140+ years, I was taken aback by the condition inside. Vandals had left their mark and all of their trash. What a huge project it would be to try to resurrect this home to it's former beauty. And yet the basic structure appears perfectly sound and the tongue and groove floor boards are still present in most of the rooms I wandered through. What really took my fancy was to find no fewer than three fireplaces still in situ! That's how my grandfather's grandfather's brother and his family kept themselves warm. No doubting that my ancestors worked through their winter colds and flu, just as we do today. However, doesn't a fire pit on every floor with a roaring fire in it sound so inviting? Maybe, it was this exact imagery Nat King Cole was recreating for us when he sang about the chestnuts roasting on an open fire in The Christmas Song? And just in case you were wondering, it was Mel Torme and Robert Wells who actually wrote the lyrics to this song.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase (blog) to kids from one to ninety-two ....

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony’s Stupid Daily Blog (442): Fri 2nd Jun 2023

I got told I was going to be storing large cases of pop all day. Five minutes after starting some guy I have never seen before came over and told me that I needed to store the cases flat because if you store them sideways then the cans will fall out. The trouble is I did store them flat, I inserted them into the pod on their sides but twisted them to a flat position while they were in there. This guy had clearly only seen me insert the cases but then looked down at his iPad or something before I had twisted them. Normally when this kind of thing happens I just brush it off but today I decided to call him out on it. After he told me off I told him that I did stow them flat. He came back at me saying "No you put them in on their sides" and I shot back saying "Yeah and then I twisted them when they were in the pod". At this point he mumbled something, directed his eyes back to his iPad and then walked off. Normally I hate confrontation so this was rare for me and I can only put my uncharacteristically confrontational manner to the anti anxiety drugs I've been on lately. I'm not saying that I hope these drugs will turn me into a complete dickhead who makes a scene everywhere he goes but I've definitely spent way too long letting people walk over me and doing nothing to defend myself which hopefully these pills will now rectify. It's high time I start calling people out on their bullshit. I decided to use my emergency five hours to go home early today. It would probably be more practical to wait until Monday afternoon to finish five hours earlier but I’m more likely to be moved to Shipping or Pack on Mondays so I don't really mind if that's how I spend the last day of my shift. However Fridays and Saturdays are typically when I'm on stow all day so for this reason I've decided to start using these early finishes to get out of stow. When I got home I sat in the garden for the rest of the afternoon speed reading Winter and Night by S.J Rozan. This novel is about a cop investigating the kidnapping of a popular high school girl who he is familiar with and to make matters worse the man accused of kidnapping her is his own nephew. This book was okay especially the final few chapters which feature a hostage situation and a stand off between the cops and the kidnapper but it didn't grip me in the same way that Silent Joe, Bones and Mr White's Confession did. Ah well only twenty books to go now and tomorrow I start reading the next one: Resurrection Men by Ian Rankin

[etiennekissborlase]

Coinbase Turns To Europe For Growth Amid Clampdown By US Regulators

Coinbase Turns To Europe For Growth Amid Clampdown By US Regulators https://bitcoinist.com/coinbase-turns-to-europe-for-growth/ The founder of Coinbase has hinted that the cryptocurrency exchange may relocate from the United States to the United Kingdom in order to take advantage of the country’s more accommodating regulatory atmosphere. Brian Armstrong, CEO of Coinbase, tweeted that he had a “great meeting” with Andrew Griffiths, UK Economic Secretary to the Treasury. Coinbase May Leave The US Due To Regulatory Restrictions Armstrong has warned that Coinbase, which has 110 million users, may leave the US if the country does not establish a regulated framework for cryptocurrencies. Great meeting today with UK Economic Secretary and City Minister @griffitha. The UK is moving fast on sensible crypto regulation to both drive economic growth AND consumer protection. Excited to keep investing in the UK. pic.twitter.com/478PQSLmDe — Brian Armstrong (@brian_armstrong) April 17, 2023 The Coinbase big boss told Griffiths about two topics they addressed. Concerning the latter, Armstrong said that the Finance Promotion guidelines are bad for “real world use cases, formation of capital markets, and consumers.” Armstrong noted that the discussion at the conference centered on the need for reasonable regulation of the cryptocurrency business to safeguard investors and promote economic growth. The crypto exchange top honcho cited Europe’s head start, noting that the region’s Markets in Crypto-Assets (MiCA) regulation will go into effect later this year. In a blog post, Coinbase stated: “In short, things are happening in Europe that are edging the region ahead and, when it comes to embracing the digital economy, the region is preparing for a seismic change in how it uses and thinks about money.” UK’s Attractive Regulatory System Griffith, on the other hand, is said to have resurrected the Asset Management Task Force. According to reports, the organization will investigate, among other things, how to implement blockchain technology throughout the fund management industry. At today’s Innovate Finance Global Summit, Armstrong discussed how the UK’s regulatory system may make it more attractive than the company’s native country of the US with former chancellor George Osborne. Armstrong has complained about the lack of direction from US regulators, who he claims are taking a different approach to regulation than he would prefer. Armstrong praised the United Kingdom’s approach to regulation and its positive outlook on emerging technologies and cryptocurrencies. “Overall, I would give the UK really high marks […] we’ve seen really incredible leadership from people like Rishi Sunak continuing to message that science and technology is important in this country.” Armstrong noted that the US has a “turf battle” between two distinct authorities who have made public contradicting comments, whereas the UK’s Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) controls both commodities and securities. The CEO explained that cryptocurrency is a key component of this, and that he hopes the UK will become “a financial hub.” Armstrong is in London from the 17th through the 21st to talk at UK FinTech Week, held at the Guildhall in the City of London. -Featured image from GlobalCapital via Bitcoinist.com https://bitcoinist.com April 19, 2023 at 09:48AM

[jamalgerald]

50 Things I Learned About Leading A Big Team

Good day! How you do?

I thought it would be good to write about my experience working with a big team. I’ll forever be grateful for everything that everyone has contributed to the process. And let me be clear, it wasn't all doom and gloom when working on JUMBIE. But you know, as they say, there is the good, the bad and the ugly. Let’s be grown about this, there is no such thing as the perfect process. I’m writing this because I don’t think I’ve read many things about messy creative processes. And it’s time that people start being more brutally honest about it.

There were a bunch of things that happened in the 5-week creation period, 2 COVID cases, someone having long COVID, someone having a long term illness and needing surgery, an injury, a dental emergency, and someone’s family member passing away. All of that alone is a lot, which led to a necessary cancellation. But there was way more.

We were resurrecting the Jumbie dance, a trance ritual. One element of the Jumbie dance was healing, the irony. It is something that no longer exists. There is no footage of it online anywhere, there is only one book on it. I was mostly working from the one book, journals that mentioned the Jumbie dance briefly, and what I was told by Montserratian people in interviews.

I would have benefited from having more time to sit with my research and ideas. 2 years wasn't enough. There was also an element of decolonising going on and I don't think some members of the team were ready for it. The fact that the work didn't happen, and the Jumbie dance was done in secret is fascinating. And something I will further explore in the future, as my ancestors didn’t want this particular public performance. Something written and kept in the archives is probably more fitting.

Me writing and sharing this is a part of my learning and healing. If you can't handle the truth, please stop reading. I’m already known for speaking my mind anyway. There's a side to every story, and this is my side. So, let's get to it. I started my practice off as a solo artist. I have now transitioned into becoming an artistic director of my own company. Going from working in mostly small teams to leading a process that had multiple collaborators and performers is such a big jump.

There was a clash of experiences and backgrounds for sure, as people had different expectations of what a process should be. My company Dudaan currently consists of me and my producer. With some support here and there but that was it. My team for JUMBIE had 16 people.

There were also some other people I had to deal with outside of the team. This team needed a team behind it. To me, it’s unrealistic to put all of that work on a new company that is only still a baby.

Another reason I’m writing this blog post is that I would hate for anyone to go through what I went through. I’m also leaving names out and making some things quite vague because I’m a decent human being.

I'm in no way innocent. Here are some of the bad things I’ve done:

- I gave up. With all that went on, I was overwhelmed. I also didn't feel like the performers were listening to me. Although, I felt I gave a lot. From emails including Google docs of the breakdown of all my research to a creation period plan to the dramaturgy of energies to my intentions for the work to useful quotes. Some of these were even printed out and put on the walls in the rehearsal space. After all of this, and the things I shared with them and repeated in the space, it just wasn't sticking with them. But they would listen to other people in the team. So, I thought it would be best for other people to engage with them instead of me. Not the wisest decision, but it felt right to me. I was also scrolling through socials on my iPhone a bit too much, after giving up. I should have been giving the performers my full attention. But as I said, I gave up.

- I got some anonymous feedback from the performers. Because I needed clarity on what they needed going forward. I didn't get what I wanted from the feedback. But I was told there was anxiety in the room. And that I take things too personally and get very defensive. Because of this, I needed time to figure out how to communicate with the performers. And it hurt to receive the feedback because I set up Dudaan to create brave and safe spaces for Black queer artists.

I still engaged with the performers. But I probably wasn't doing enough to everyone else’s standards. I was talking to my mother about being told that I make the performers anxious. And she asked: “why because you're a Black man?” At first, I didn’t think that was the case. But now after doing some reflecting, I believe that was the case. As I doubt the performers have been led by many Black men before.

And now onto the main part of the blog.

Here are the 50 things I learned:

Leading a team is like being a parent. Some people don't stop being children.

2) Be mindful of the way you express yourself. And I hate to say that because it may come across like I’m saying police yourself. I’m not! Don’t police the way you speak to make other people feel comfortable. However, some people can’t handle bluntness, but I would argue if someone can’t handle the way you express yourself, they shouldn’t be working with you. Honestly, I did the bare minimum, I never disrespectfully cussed at anyone, rarely raised my voice and I was told there was anxiety in the room. I feel that I was vilified for being a Black man. The space was giving anti-Blackness because I couldn’t be myself.

3) Just because someone wouldn’t lead the way you would, or make work the way you would, doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

4) Take accountability for things that were in your control, nothing else. Don’t expect other people to take accountability, though.

5) People bring their anxiety, trauma and insecurities into the room and project them onto you. If you’re not a professional, there is nothing you can do besides be patient.

6) If you’re feeling shit, you’re allowed to feel it. Don’t pretend to be happy all the time. That’s unhealthy.

7) You’re not a terrible person if you want to have lunch by yourself. I’m an ambivert. I can be outgoing but I like my space and peace when I’m at work.

8) Only apologise if necessary. Apologising can sometimes cause more harm than good.

9) Snakes exist. Watch your back. I was told that I created an unsafe and toxic environment. And that there was anxiety in the room. I found this puzzling as there was an intimacy co-ordinator. I and the performers discussed what they are not comfortable doing. I took it in and accepted it. One performer said I never caused them any harm. And then another performer said they’ve rarely been anxious in the process, and asked who said that? Hmm. Interesting.

10) Have boundaries in place. This will be different for each person.

11) Making work in a pandemic is not the one. I hate having a plan B, but having a plan B will be so beneficial since we’re currently in a pandemic.

12) Expect to kiss ass a lot. People love to be complimented all of the time. Some people are not secure within themselves and need constant validation. But also collaborators could be out of their comfort zone and need reassurance that they're doing a good job.

13) Consider leadership of giving, instead of leadership of expectation. You may think you have given a lot, but continue to give more.

14) Just because something isn't clear to someone, doesn't mean it’s not clear. Some people are slow. Some people need time to catch up, even if it may take up until the last week of rehearsal. If someone says “none of this makes sense!” in the last week of rehearsal, you probably should’ve never worked with them in the first place.

15) If your project is ambitious be aware there could be bias, jealousy and resentment in the room. I say that because I'm a young, Black, queer, artistic director of my own company, and got just over 50k from Arts Council to make something, as well as commissioned on top of that. People be salty.

16) If you need to have a bitch, only bitch to someone that is completely outside of the process. Don't bitch to your colleagues.

17) People have certain views on power, and once you have it, people will treat you differently because of it. That's what comes with levelling up. But I felt powerless in my process.

18) Don’t work with friends. There can be a blurring that can become dangerous. And they might not take you seriously as a leader.

19) Making work is vulnerable and people show their vulnerabilities in different ways.

20) White people’s whiteness will pop out eventually. You may think you found good white people, ha. Watch it.

21) All skin-folk ain’t kinfolk. I thought my people (Black people) would have my back. I was wrong. Only two out of the seven did.

22) Just because someone says they can do something doesn’t mean they can. I thought I was working with people that could devise, they knew it was a devised process, it was mentioned in their contracts, but I kept getting looks from people like they were Alice in Wonderland. People lie because they want to be a part of something.

23) Work with people that already have an interest and experience engaging with African diaspora religions and BDSM. A lot of people are not about that life.

24) Some people are still very much colonised whether they realise it or not. People are freaked out about engaging with the dead. If you come across people like this, don’t work with them.

25) It doesn't take one person to create a toxic environment. It's a group effort.

26) People show up to work all the time, but it doesn't mean that their heart is truly in it.

27) Trust your gut. Don't let people gaslight you.

28) Repetition is necessary. However, if you’re still talking about that same thing in week 4 of the process, it’s starting to become a piss-take. I came across this lovely quote on Instagram:

“Stop over-explaining yourself.

If they wanted to understand, they would.” - The Pulp Girls

29) Work with people you are compatible with. Think of it as a romantic relationship, if it's working, yay. If it's not, it's not. It's time to move on.

30) If you check out mentally, don't let anyone try and take over the process, especially if you're Black and they are white. Watch out for the coloniser!

31) Not every idea needs to be a collaborative process. Some things just might be for you alone, and that’s okay. Fuck sharing shit with everyone. Because not everyone deserves it.

32) Mental health is tricky. There were access forms sent out to the team members. And no one mentioned issues with mental health, even though it was evident that it was present in the process. Some people will have difficulty being honest about any issues they have with mental health and that’s fine. People need things, but not everyone knows what they need.

33) Don’t take on too much. I was the lead artist, co-director and performer. I also took on some other roles when people couldn't come into the space due to illness, etc.

34) Things may seem way worse to other people than they do to you. And then here comes the white saviour to save the day because they think the space is unsafe due to their issues.

35) Listen. Don't take things personally and try not to get defensive. But expect people to take things personally and to get defensive.

36) If your mental health starts to take over - STOP. No work is worth this amount of stress. I nearly checked into a mental institution.

37) Don’t let people overstep their roles. No seriously, don’t. People get excited and carried away.

38) People have an agenda and will project their views onto things.

39) Make compromises but not to the point where you become numb to the work.

40) Have a mediator and therapist present in the process from the beginning. You can’t hold everything.

41) Trust in people but mostly trust in yourself. People are fickle.

42) People will bitch to you about one person, although will point the finger at you with them in a group setting.

43) You can always benefit from having more time and money. If you need more flexibility around when your work can be made, then you need more flexibility. Don’t work on an organisation’s schedule, work around what is best for you and the work.

44) Not everything is your job. But expect to be blamed for things that are not your job.

45) I thought that since I was working with adults, I shouldn’t have to check up on them to make sure they are doing their job. But I’ve learnt that you have to check up on people, even if they agreed to do some work by signing a contract. Line management is vital.

46) People find it difficult to express themselves. Create something that will help make it easier for them.

47) High school never ends. People change once they start getting closer to other people.

48) Don't be surprised that secret conversations about you are happening. I had a feeling this was going on, next thing you know I was having a conversation where my character was assassinated. I was unfairly compared to Chris Goode because I checked out of the process, and stepped back slightly from engaging with the performers. I was told that the process is like a Chris Goode process. For those of you who don't know, he was a theatre maker, who was an abuser, and predator and later was outed as a paedophile after he committed suicide. Even though I wasn't called those awful things, to me, you can’t separate the man from the process. And no one did or said anything to defend me, which led to me crying hysterically.

49) Don’t be surprised if you get ganged upon. If you ever feel unsafe in your process, do whatever it takes to protect yourself. Take from that what you will.

50) If anyone said or did something wrong to you in a process, never speak to them again. Okay, that was quite extreme. But make sure to take as much space from them as humanly possible.

This list is quite long. But the struggle was real. I am still learning and growing. This process has helped me become wiser in my approach to making work in the future. And I am determined to come back stronger. This is my experience, not saying this will be the same for anyone else.

I hope I haven't put anyone off of leading a big team. If you want to do this, I believe in you. Just make sure you have all of the support, time and the right team around you because I didn’t. And remember that you're human, not Superman, even if people want you to be.

J xx

[crystalsenergy]

the primary archetypes and the 12 zodiac signs (and planets) #3

all images here do not belong to me. credits to the appropriate authors.

7. The Persona - Libra / Ascendant - Venus

The Persona is one of the best known archetypes. I love dealing with Persona and I've done some posts about it (relating the Jungian concept to astrology). This archetype basically means the social mask we put on to meet other people. Anyone who acts or does theater understands personas very well: every time the person goes on stage or shoots a scene, she/he emerges in a role that she/he learned to be very well, even if that role has no connection with what this actor in fact is. It's a mere role. That's the Persona: the part of one's personality.

In real life, it's a mask that we use to show a certain group of people (or for everyone, in some cases) characteristics that we select from ourselves, and that are often present to meet the expectations that the environments (and people) own us. Persona is important, as there are places where we really need to "please" some expectations. But this can't be our greatest pursuit, otherwise we live awash in Personas, in people who are more connected to showing what others expect of us - only our good sides, our achievements and happiness, smiles and no sadness, problems, defects and weaknesses.

Libra means many of the things described above if we stop to notice how Libras are extremely attached to seeing the good in everything, rather than accepting to see the bad and the rotten in people and situations, as Libras often hide from themselves - and logo of others - all of your darker, darker sides, from an inner voice that says negative things to desires that this person wants to hide, whether they are objectionable or not. Also, Libras are extremely attached to what they say about them, they are very influenced by what the outsider will think of what they are saying or saying. As I've said in this blog, doors and windows are always open to hear (too much) what they say outside, to the point of being influenced and not always having solidified beliefs. Looks and looks are also very important to them. That's why I relate them to Persona. Normally, Libras have much more connection to Persona than to their complementary opposite - the Shadow. They can have difficult in achieve their (unconscious) problems, and touching their traumas easily. They can be more related to harmonic and good emotions, not accepting the opposite side of life with a certain easily.

Ascendant and Venus refer us to Persona matters - Ascendant doesn't rule Libra, it's a mere point in the sky, but I see that Libra is very much related to some of the meanings of the Ascendant. ASC is our self-image, but it can sometimes be somewhat dependent on what others say about us. It also has to do with the mask, the surface of our personality and how we show ourselves in the world. And Venus rules Libra and is related to appearance, with this openness to relate to others - to the outside, to the world - taking a lot into account (sometimes too much) of what they have to say about you.

8. The Shadow - Scorpio/Pluto

The Shadow archetype. I've already talked about in other moments relating to astrology. It's literally opposite to the Persona, it relates to everything that the person can't admit in itself: behaviors that are repressed, parts of the personality that are not accepted by others, fears, insecurities, sadness, hidden desires, and so on. The Shadow doesn't just have things that people are afraid to admit because it's socially reprehensible. It goes far beyond that.

The Shadow is an archetype purely related to the unconscious, and there are all the things that one represses for not wanting to speak or see it anymore: traumas, insecurities, emotional repressions, personality traits. So, despite being hidden, nothing better than the Shadow to help us evolve. To make us embrace our pain. So that, through all that has been repressed by our fear of showing ourselves to the world the way we truly are - without taboos and no desires to just please - we can embrace our true selves. The Shadow must not continue to be repressed. It's full of potential for a rebirth of our being, for an increase in our ability to survive to embrace who we really are.

Scorpio is nothing more than everything I said above. There is no sign that is as capable of embracing its instinctual side and understanding Shadow as Scorpio does. It's a sign extremely linked to breaking taboos, to experiencing difficulties in life but from them and precisely from them letting some potential undiscovered arise. It's the sign of intensity, of contact with the personal unconscious - the Shadow - to allow energies to flow in you to accept being who you were really born to be.

Pluto is the planet that people remember least of, but it's exactly the one they need when it comes to resurrecting and being reborn in the face of a difficulty, a problem. Deep, full of potential, but silent and with a lot of "inner life".

9 -  The Hero - Sagittarius/Jupiter

The hero archetype. Heroes are naturally determined. They have the ability to overcome obstacles in order to achieve some of their goals. They like to take risks, because that's what life is for them. The hero believes in her/himself, but she/he also believes in other people and inspires them to believe in themselves. They are natural motivators.

Sagittarius is extremely optimistic, has an ability to believe that she/he and others will always be able to overcome difficulties, whatever they may be. Suffers, but never gives up, and thus inspires people. Very cheerful and positive, the hero looks a lot like a hero because heroes are (and need to be) exemplary, and nothing more exemplary than a being who can deal with life's adversities with optimism and with an energy that flows easily over her/him. Furthermore, Sagittarius is very generous, a characteristic that we look for in heroes: that they know how to think of others.

Jupiter gives the ruling sign (Sagittarius) these characteristics of optimism and much benevolence. Jupiter wants to be in contact with everyone and bring out the best for them. It's the planet of kindness, empathy and expansion. Sagittas believe in everything and everyone.

[cultureisdarkbeer]

Falling is Complete!

Covering Seasons 4-7

 In Milagro, we hear that "Agent Scully is already in love". So the question becomes, When did she fall in love? When was that "one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere". When did that moment occur for Dana Scully? This is that story.

Read it here

*New*

Chapter35

The weekend’s journey had Scully twisting and turning like a Chubby Checker song. It sent her not only back through her life, but down each wrong choice road, like parallel dimensions heard through the chimes of fate. Dreams as soon as a year ago now were irrelevant and obscure. The path she chose led her here on this couch. Turning away all her past lives, opening herself up to the unimaginable, beyond science, beyond religion, to hear the call of a voice, the one she chose to follow, that chose to follow her right back.    

She felt her body become weightless as he lifted her from the couch, with gentle strong arms, he pulled her close to his body, it’s warmth, igniting a glow within her. Her eyes fluttered open as he lowered her onto the bed. “Where are you going?” Scully asked sleepily.

“I’m sleeping on the couch,” he said, tucking the blanket back around her.

“You can stay,” then quickly added, “it’s your bed.”

“It’s okay Scully, get your rest,” he stated firmly, squeezing her hand. She held onto it, refusing to let it go as he started to walk away. 

“Hold me?” she asked meekly.

Her vulnerability made him pause. “Yeah. yeah, I can do that.”

He walked around the bed and got in under the covers. She butted her back up against him as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. 

“You heard, they’re doing a full financial audit of the FBI,” Scully said. “They’ll be looking  to make cuts.”

“If the powers that be have their way, the x-files will be on the chopping block,” Mulder concluded, rocking her gently, nuzzling her hair.

“Then what?” Scully persisted.

“We continue to search for the truth,” he replied.

Scully breathed out a chuckle, then took comfort in his embrace. Too much had been left unspoken. “Why does being closer feel like it’s taking us further apart?”

Mulder drew her in, closing the small gaps between them. “Maybe because we’re trying to hide in glass houses.”

She nodded and felt him squeeze her tighter. It was a comfort. 

He whispered into the shell of her ear, “We’ve had a lot to make peace with Scully.”

Scully spoke in cautious tones. “What if you meet someone, what if you decide later that you want to have kids?”

She felt his body stiffen around her at the question. “You could do the same. There are other ways,” he answered tenderly. “If you want children, what’s stopping you?”

 “The consequences of my choices?”

Mulder sighed. “I’d like to think we’ve made peace with those..” 

“And the X-files?” Scully persisted, rotating in his arms so she could look into his eyes.

“You’re asking me to make a choice?”

“No, I..” she stumbled.

“Scully,” he replied softly, caressing her cheek with his thumb. “I choose you.” 

Her walls melted inside his gaze. “Every choice I’ve ever made, has led me to this moment. You and I. Right here.”

“That leaves another choice to make.”

Scully passed him a wry grin. “I’ve made my choice.” 

Scully closed her eyes knowing the next time they opened they would be staring into the only man she could ever imagine herself with. His lips pressed and slid against hers, warm and wet, with the grace of a trained dancer and the power of his 9 mm pistol. The removal of their clothing was clunky in their haste, forcing her to clutch his shoulder as a counterbalance. Gripping her tight, he steadied her feet. Scully’s cheeks heated when she was able to meet his eyes again. Not because of embarrassment, she would never feel that way in front of Mulder, but because of how real the moment was, the strength at its core -with honesty and purity- they would rebuild. 

His eyes held that same gentle fire and connection they felt the first time they ever laughed in the rain. The soft warm glow of copper’s flame burning hazel through his irises. It’s embers igniting her heart and she knew it was time she spoke the truth aloud.

He was hers, and just as importantly, she was his. The words were on the tip of her tongue, dying to be spoken into existence. She wanted it roared into the night, well perhaps whispered in his ear, or murmured on his skin.

She chose to speak directly into his eyes.  “I’m in love with you, Fox Mulder.” Her words filled with the passionate intensity of countless gamma rays bursting through the universe. And it was all for one man. Inside her arms she felt the current of her words coarse through his body. “Scully,” he released in breathy affection, the words were with the same vulnerability as when he came to her when his father was shot. “I’m yours.” 

The countless hours she had stared at his lips, the way they pursed at her challenges, or curled in disgust at her autopsies, the lower jutting out slightly when he rocked his mandible forward with passion. She knew every line of those lips and every curve the way she knew the shape of her own bathtub and stain in her coffee cup. She sucked the lower one into her mouth just to feel the desire exhaled from his lungs. His tongue reached for hers and she met it with fervor, intertwining with the strength of the divine threads of space and time. 

Mulder covered her body as he rolled on top. She felt safe, much the way she did as he protected her years ago from the bullets in Milford Haven. Feet and wrist bound in the gymnasium showers he had braced to give his life for her at the end of a shotgun. 

He smiled at her like he was reading her thoughts and she kissed him softly, his hand tangling in hers with the same motion as when he hugged her in an empty hospital hallway, giving her promise and support that she would carry on even with her cancer sentence. Mulder had resurrected her with a chip, the one buried at the base of her neck. She wasn’t a slave to it, instead one of the many symbols of his devotion. Those thoughts caused her hand to skim the scar of her consecration inside his shoulder. 

Kissing and mingling with the others’ breath, her legs naturally wrapped around his torso. Skin to skin, mouth to mouth, but they were also connected in an entirely different way. They didn’t need to invade each other’s mind, they melded, their bodies flowing together, skin hot and sensitive to every touch. The passion, the need she felt, went beyond eternity. Their entire life together felt like foreplay- every time they shared a laugh, every time he cradled her in his warm embrace, or interlocked their fingers, or just stood in each other’s presence. 

Grateful he didn’t prolong the sweet torture, he aligned himself and carefully pushed inside, heavy and thick, connecting on a level they had only known with the other. For long minutes, they kissed and reveled in their feelings, in the waves of sensations hitting them as he moved inside her.  It was a soft and reverent kind of sharing. The type of intimacy that at one time would have made her push away to preserve her independence.. Make her skin crawl. But it didn’t with him. Possibly because his response would have been to wait until she was ready. Instead, she relished the contact, something had changed inside of her, somewhat like Mulder’s prediction as they stared at a cocoon in a tree. 

Not a weakness, but a strength, she felt safe when they were like this, like nothing could ever harm them. His darkness blanketing her with comfort. Their love born from shadows.

Scully’s insides hugged him tight and they released a groan of acknowledgement. He was intrinsically home. Their pace was slow, considerate. Mulder paused and kissed her gently, his right index stroking her forehead in reverence, reminiscent of when he spoke his condolences about her father or their first case after her abduction.

Their movements were fluid and quick, languid and vividly profound. Any pieces of walls left inside her, he had shattered, saving her, the same way he battered the window to save her from a psychotic man.

She chose the path with him not from fate or destiny, not out of desperation or visions, but out of friendship, out of respect, out of devotion. Love, unadulterated and complete.  

His head fell to her neck and she felt every inch of him seeping pleasure into her core and out into the galaxy. He filled her as they burst together, points of light streaming, fusing and branding them, reaching out into the heavens, creating a miracle, a mosaic of the love she no longer gave with reservation, the emergence of existence.

Read Here

Artwork By: @ms31x129

Special thanks to the following people:

@today-in-fic @wholeperson @season4mulder @peacenik0 @piper-scully @babygirlmulder1018 @patienceaintmystrongsuit @brownppr @lappina @amyg2430 @whyle23 @borogirl @kyouryokusenshi @rasta77 @schnabbaknabba @skullsmuldon @milkaforyou-blog @manila @aiko222love-blog @destinystarlit @queen-lesley @faithfirst2016 @lildd68 @writerofarticulate @itsrainingsleepingbags @edierone @annafx81 @ofmulder @kblackm @starbuck1013 @nigel5603 @baronessblixen

[theothercourse]

Covent Garden Hotel (Jonathan Pine Fic) - Chapter 21

TITLE OF STORY: Covent Garden Hotel

CHAPTER NUMBER: Chapter 21

AUTHOR: theothercourse & sweetoceancloud

WHICH TOM/CHARACTER: Jonathan Pine/The Night Manager

STORY GENRE: Drama, Action, Romance

STORY SUMMARY: After the events of The Night Manager, Jonathan Pine has retreated back into his former quiet life, as a night manager of The Covent Garden Hotel in London. A new transplant from New York, Kristiane Taylor, a Tony nominated actress appearing on the West End, is one of his more well-known guests. An unlikely friendship forms between the Broadway singer and the hotelier when a mysterious job offer lands in her hands. Kristiane turns to her friend when something strikes her as off about a job offer, Jonathan can’t ignore the case when some of the details become personally familiar.

STORY RATING: Explicit

AUTHOR’S NOTE: A slow burn romance, originally written as an RP but resurrected on A03 when the RP blogs were deleted. Rated explicit for graphic violence and sexual content.

CHAPTER WARNINGS/TRIGGERS: Violence in these chapters (kidnapping). Comments, concrit and feedback encouraged. If you’re reading, please do let me know. Thank you so much for reading.

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Jonathan woke with a start in the darkened corridor of the hospital. His heart pumped hard in his chest, his blood surged, his fists clenched, his mind raced. He inhaled sharply through his nose, breathing in the dry sterile atmosphere of the non-emergent wing. Scrubbing his hands over his face to wake up and chase the bad sleep away, his ears strained to pick up on the sound that roused him.

The night manager and part time MI6 agent kept a vigilant post outside the room of a healing Broadway star. He hoped she was healing as he hadn't been allowed back inside or at her side. He hovered in close proximity until she asked for him or she was freed under doctor's orders. The hotel no longer appealed to him, preferring to guard his songbird. (Her door at the very least.)

**** READ MORE *****

[theparanormalperiodical]

Paranormal Activity (2007) - The True Story Behind The Franchise, And The 5 Other Demonic Hauntings You Need To Know About

What does the election of Margaret Thatcher, the industrialisation of Europe, and a shitty found footage film have in common?

They all changed the world.

Sure, Paranormal Activity (2007) may have not brought about the socio-economic changes created by the Iron Lady, nor that of the Industrial Revolution.

But there’s doubt about it: it defined a new era of horror films.

“Whoa whoa whoa - what about The Blair Witch Project?”

Okay, fine, The Blair B*tch Project is an icon that I supernaturally-stan. But it was the chaotic web of films that made up the Paranormal Activity franchise that set off a new focus on real stories, on real hauntings we can see and hear and film and photograph.

Type ‘ghosts’ into YouTube. Go on, do it. 

With enough 10 minute videos clogged with adverts, cheap jumpscares, and a nightvision overlay that would resurrect Paris Hilton’s career, these films tapped into what’s happening right here, right now.

Thanks to the rise of social media and the phones we use to update them, ‘evidence’ of the paranormal is now scattered across the internet. Paranormal Activity tapped into that, providing us innocent viewers with a terrifying movie that would span 5 more films.

(Oh, and it turns out another one is set for release in 2021! Which isn’t unnecessary at all. Nope. Definitely not unneeded.)

But what’s really scary isn’t the film itself. 

Oh, no.

It’s the fact that it’s all based on true stories.

Today’s post is going to recap the Paranormal Activity films, explain the true stories of demonic hauntings it’s based on, and go through the 5 other demonic hauntings you need to know about.

Let’s get spooky.

First, Let’s Recap The Paranormal Activity Franchise

With 7 films under its belt (you can’t forget the spinoff set in Japan!), this saga takes a detour around the core of the franchise and the explanation of the activity.

The franchise centres around a coven of witches who sacrifice first born boys to demons in exchange for money and success. Some first born boys are also used to create a demonic army to protect the coven. 

Most of the films follow one family who experiences the actions of the coven - The Midwives - firsthand. One of the two daughters is kidnapped by her grandmother, a member of the coven, and prepared for the day that she will fulfill her womanly duties:

That’s right, she’s gonna give birth to a demon.

And yes, you are invited to the baby shower!

The films start in the present with one of the daughters beginning to experience traces of paranormal activity which evolves into a full on demonic haunting. It is then revealed in scraps of conversation - and then embellished in later films - that weird paranormal stuff happened when they were kids. 

We then jump back and forth between past ‘n present until the whole witchy-shebang is revealed.

Here’s the film-by-film summary:

Paranormal Activity: Katie and bae Micah witness paranormal activity in their home and decide to film the mysterious things that happen at night - less sex tape, more supernatural. The activity becomes more intense and is revealed to be demonic, focusing on Katie and eventually possessing her. She kills Micah in full demonic-mode, and goes missing.

Paranormal Activity 2: Katie’s sister, Kristi, and her family set up cameras in their house following a burglary (spoiler alert - it ain’t no burglary). Activity escalates, and the daughter of the family, Ali, works out that this is a demonic haunting and that humans made deals with demons by forfeiting the soul of a first born son. Kristi’s son, Hunter, is the first boy born in their family since the 1930s. Kristi is eventually possessed and subsequently exorcised to protect her and the family. They do this by passing the demon onto Katie by burning a photograph. Katie then rocks up in demonic-mode and kidnaps Hunter.

Paranormal Activity 3: Before Hunter was born, Katie gave some old videotapes to her sister, Kristi, which contains footage of their childhood - and the paranormal activity that occurred within it. The activity offers up strange symbols, invisible figures, and the emergence of the coven, The Midwives. Tobi the demon also rocks up for the first time. We also find out what the coven does and that their grandmother, Lois, is one of these witches. Their parents are killed, and Katie and Kristi are told to ‘get ready’. 

Paranormal Activity 4: A new famalam are busy living a non-demonic life when a neighbour falls ill. The neighbour’s child, Wyatt (pssst - it’s Hunter! And the neighbour’s Katie omgggggg) goes to live with them. Their non-demonic life then becomes demonic. Spooky shenanigans ensue, we see the coven, Katie kills people… On reflection, this film didn’t need to be made. But oh well. 

Paranormal Activity 5: The Marked Ones: Lovable high school grad, Jesse, is living his non-demonic life above his totally-demonic neighbour, Ana. Turns out she’s a witch in the coven. One of his classmates is also demonic, and is seen doing demonic shit as a result of Ana. It is then revealed that some first born sons are recruited into this demonic army. Jesse is one of them, and begins to exhibit strange behaviour - he has been ‘marked’. Jesse’s friend and rag-tag group of anti-demonic people investigate and rock up at witch-HQ. His friend is then chased into a door which is revealed to be a portal from which he goes into the kitchen of Katie and Micah. Katie screams and thinks he’s an intruder who Micah tackles. Katie then kills Micah - this is the last scene of the first Paranormal Activity. 

Paranormal Activity 6: The Ghost Dimension: In this film we see snapshots of young Katie and Kristi being taught to unleash their demonicy powers, as well as a new family living on the property where they used to live. The young daughter, Leila is seen talking to and interacting with a dark figure. It is then discovered Leila was born on the same day as hunter, and that Leila has gone through a portal into another world.  A priest attempts to cleanse the house, Tobi goes cray-cray and kills someone. Leila flees through the portal and the mother follows. They rock up at Katie and Kristi’s house and meet young Katie and Kristi. The mother is killed, and Leila and Tobi walk off into the sunset. 

Confused?

Me too.

Sure, it is a thin plot that’s been stretched across far too many flicks, but it’s the frightening filler that really defines the franchise.

Doors moving, earthquakes, dark figures appearing and moving, footsteps seen and heard, strange symbols appearing....

It all ties together to make an iconic set of films. 

Are they going to be remembered for being great?

No. 

Do I care?

Hell to the nah!

But what I do care about is the true story the franchise is based on.

So, What Is The True Story Behind Paranormal Activity?

Okay, fine, I told a lie: they’re actually based on multiple stories of demonic and other paranormal hauntings.

Yes, that is worse. 

I’ve dissected 3 components of the films that I’ve traced back to real paranormal theories and stories.

Demonic hauntings

Animal and children interaction with paranormal activity

And the coven

Let’s Start With The Demonic Hauntings 

If there’s one thing that Paranormal Activity gets right, it’s the paranormal activity.

With minimal discussion of what the shit is actually going on - particularly in the first movie - it truly lives up to its name of just being pure spooks. Now, in case you’re new to this blog, you probably won’t be as versed as I am in everything-spooky.

*flips hair*

Things like objects and furniture moving are just a few components of paranormal activity, as is lights flickering, for example; this all features as the beginning of the films’ activity, similar to that of real cases of spirit and demonic hauntings.

But the films then go on to capture what makes hauntings truly demonic:

Growling noises, people in trances or acting strange, and aggressive supernatural activity - all build up to the inevitable possession of a character which happens in every single film. 

And it hits possession like a nail on the head. 

It follows historic theories closely, focusing only on female possession. According to medieval theories, women were more likely to be possessed as they were deemed weaker, and thus more vulnerable to demons and spirits wanting to control their bodies. 

Young girls? Magnets for Satan.

So, given the centrality of the young girls to the film who are besties with and apparently shit out a demon via the vag, this is pretty accurate. 

Which, you know, is fine, this is fine.

Another key component of the demonic haunting we need to discuss rocks up in the first film, setting alight the curiosity that had us humble viewers coming back to every following film:

It’s the burnt photo of Katie as a child.

Burnt photos - or just destroyed photos - figure as key milestones of a demonic haunting. And smashed photo frames, scratched pictures all feature in this franchise.

In the films, it is eventually deduced that the burnt photo is used to transfer a demon to someone else. That explains why later in the film, the demon goes on to possess Katie. 

In terms of paranormal cases, photos being used for ritualistic purposes is well documented in cases of witchcraft. One example of this is from the mysterious death of Estefanía Gutiérrez Lázaro, a story immortalised in the horror hit, Veronica.

At one point during the real case of Estefania, her picture burns spontaneously in front of her family around the time of her death.

In fact, burning items in general is a classic ritual related to unleashing demons. Fancy getting rid of your Ouija board? Don’t burn it - as hell is, uh, hot, demons can be released. Or they’re trapped in the board itself and by destroying it, they can escape.

Burning is also used in invocation, a ritual used in demonolatry, the worship of demons. 

Next Up Is The Interactions Between Animals, Children, And The Paranormal

All horror films tend to start with the same thing:

The doggo starts acting weird.

In The Conjuring, the dog dies. In The Woman In Black, the dog draws attention to the dark figure approaching Harry Potter Daniel Radcliffe. And in Paranormal Activity 2, the doggo barks at invisible figures and gets hurt by the demon. 

Question is, does this actually happen?

Yep. 

Apparently, dogs and cats are highly susceptible to the supernatural. With their proved heightened senses - and some folklore to back it up - animals are considered one of the first signs of something paranormal.

And kids?

It’s the same thing. Remember what I said about young girls being really vulnerable ‘cause all women are weak? Children were considered to be on that same level of ‘open-to-demon-ness’ as women, so it follows that they’d be equally aware of the paranormal. 

Enter the imaginary friend, Tobi. You know - the demon. 

Imaginary friends bulk out most creepypastas, as well as the true ghost stories littering the internet. So unfortunately, Tobi is far more common than we’d like to think.

Yay.

Let’s Talk About The Coven, The Midwives

The underlying plot of the films - aside from being about cupboards opening all by themselves - is about the puppet-like control of the family by The Midwives.

And there are 3 things which directly link to real cases of covens and witchcraft.

However, when I started my research, I immediately ran into a problem: covens worshipping demons they want to bring back to earth and take over the world aren’t exactly shouting about their activities.

There’s no Twitter account posting memes about kidnapping kids. There’s no YouTube channel devoted to altar hauls. And there’s no crowdfunding to raise money for the indoctrination of women as they sacrifice their kids to demons.

But I did want to pull apart a few things like the symbol of the Midwives, their obsession with first born boys, and the confusing plotline of time travel. 

First, we have their motives for their worship and sacrifice: its to gain money and success. This is a well documented component of black magic and demonolatry, a motive we can trace back to concepts from the medieval era.

Next is the symbol.

Despite looking like they copied and pasted it from Harry Potter, symbols containing a triangle and circle frequent literature documenting witchcraft. Specifically, this symbol is close to that of Soloman’s Seal, or the Triple Tale.

The latter represents gates, or spiritual manifestations. 

That’s pretty fecking close to the plot of the movie!

Following up from your next tramp stamp tat is their obsession with first born boys. 

“It’s the patriarchy!”

Hell fucking yeah, it is. 

These witches are seriously behind the times, and stick to biblical notions of magic, deducing their obsession from the value appointed to first born boys in the biblical era. This is especially true given that the sacrifice of a first born son often crops up or is referred to in this bestselling book. 

Finally, we have to discuss the time travel.

The franchise ties all the films together by using time travel to…

Look, I have no fucking clue why or how or for what reason. But What I do know is that there are these portals that can take people back to key plot moments of extreme witchy-demony-stuff. 

Take the first time we see one of these portals: during the 5th movie we see a character stuck in Witch-HQ, looking for a way to escape. He decides to go through a door covered in strange symbols cause that’s not gonna be witchy at all. 

He walks through, and enters a kitchen. He then sees Katie, the lass from the first movie walk down the stairs, and scream for Micah, her boyfriend.

That’s right - we witness the moment she becomes possessed, suggesting the witches had some direct hand in that moment.

The circle is complete! I think, I don’t know, I’m still confused...

Unfortunately, these portals end the series. In the last film, a new family rock up in a house built on the property where the young girls kidnapped by the coven used to live, and the kid of the new family ends up time travelling to when they used to live there, even though that house burnt down.

“So, is it based on paranormal theories?”

No. 

Sure, some witchcraft does mention travelling to other plains - see astral projection and Insidious - but, like my coven research, witches ain’t posting their time travels on insta.

That being said, I would love to see that classic hand holding/leading shot as a witch takes bae into another dimension...

Paranormal Activity may be the cinematic representative for a jumpscare-binge, but the film goes much deeper than a demon throwing a tantrum and slamming a door cause nobody understands him. 

(Dammit, Tobi.)

Fact is, Paranormal Activity isn’t just ‘based on a true story’. It’s an accurate representation of a demonic haunting.

The 5 Demonic Haunted Houses You Need To Know About

Let me guess:

You’re currently hiding under a quilt and watching Gordon-Ramsay-Getting-Hella-Angry compilations on YouTube to try and calm down. 

If so, you’re gonna want to stay under there - It’s time to discuss the other demonic hauntings that are similar to the Paranormal Activity franchise.

Uncomfortably similar, that is.

Fantastic.

#1 -  The Demon House

Topping our list is a house which clearly fits the topic of this post by its name alone.

Bob Cranmer, former resident of this Pittsburgh house, claims he lived in a house that was haunted by a demon for 18 years. Why did he stay in this house for 18 years if this was in fact also home to a demon?

*shrug*

Either way, before a demon was cast out by an exorcism in the mid-noughties, the haunting manifested in hands pushing and slapping family members, you know, the usual escalation of violent attacks…

Oh, and Cranmer also saw blood dripping from the walls. 

But it’s the backstory to the property that really makes things terrifying. It was discovered that the Demon House was built upon a site from which Native Americans were murdered by European settlers. On top of that, a builder cursed the land during construction. 

Also, a former tenant of the house is believed to have been an illegal abortionist who performed hundreds of these operations in the house. Well, depending on what you believe, this supposedly brought forward a demon.

(It’s at this point that I would think “oh I should be neutral” but nah fuck that #prochoice)

Anyway.

According to Cranmer’s investigation - from which he even churned out a book on the house - the name of the demon is Moloch, a god mentioned in the Old Testament. By researching the old tenants of the house, he discovered that some were actually worshippers of this demon.

And considering Moloch’s love for child sacrifices, Cranmer connected some dots regarding the illegal abortionist that once lived there.

Regardless of my disagreements with this verdict, there is no doubt that this be a spooky house.

#2 - The Smurl Family House

You know shit’s spooky when Ed and Lorraine Warren rock up at your house. 

For a period of 13 years, the Smurl family of Pennsylvania was tormented by a demon which smothered them with an abundance of supernatural activity. 

Toilets flushing by themselves, electronic devices failing to work, and awful odours passing through the house was just a few components of the activity faced. This escalated into arguably more violent activity synonymous with demonic hauntings:

Claw marks appeared in various rooms, full bodied apparitions would appear over beds, and a demon they named ‘Old Hag’ became a permanent resident.

Whether ‘Old Hag’ was passing through walls, or sexually assaulting the human residents, there was no doubt that the Smurls were witnessing an intense level of activity.

50 exorcisms were used to cleanse the house, but to no avail; the assaults didn’t stop until the Smurls moved out, giving further evidence to support the skeptics that this demonic haunting was no haunting at all. 

#3 - The Bean’s Family House

It’s the 1970s. We are in Baltimore, in a quiet suburb crammed full of all-american families. 

Unfortunately, there was no Tracy Turnblad around to brighten up this ranch style house. This home was cursed with a negative energy that was soon determined to be the result of a demonic presence. 

This demonic haunting manifested in cold hands touching and grabbing family members, reenacting all the ways someone could be murdered. It even transformed itself into a human draped in a black suit!

With fierce black eyes giving away its true identity, the demon was ascertained as the cause of the activity, and the Bean family fled in the 1980s. 

Question is, what was the root of this demon? 

The former residents claim it was extra-terrestrial contact, with strange pictures supporting their claims.

#4 - The Haunting of Latoya Ammons

There’s a ghost making your TV turn on and off… And then there’s mysterious occurrences so intense the local police are involved.

This case is the latter.

It all started in 2011, shortly after a small family moved into their new home in Indiana. Large black flies began to swarm their front porch, and the frequent sound of footsteps began to trouble the family.  

Shadowy figures also began to emerge, and would become the centre of the haunting. Alongside this, Ammons claimed she also witnessed her daughter levitating above her bed, sparking the need for supernatural support. Mediums were called, and they deduced that 200 demons haunted their house. 

Following an exorcism, the family decided to leave the house as it failed to rid the house of its paranormal residents. Not convinced? Here’s the iconic picture believed to show a demon standing at the window of the house:

#5 - The Sallie House

Considered one of the most famous haunted houses in the world, this home is the residence of a young girl named Sallie. Oh, and she’s dead. It is believed that she was a victim of a lobotomy in the early 20th century, and attacks any men who enter the house in vengeance of her doctor.

But what really made this house famous was the investigation by a TV crew who experienced scratches and bruises from unseen forces in real time. Such violent assaults are a trademark of demonic hauntings.

Other visitors have also cited apparitions, floating objects, and animal noises, confirming that this house features something that we simply cannot explain. .

When mediums rocked up to deduce the centre of this haunting, they determined that that little girl was a magnet for darker, demonic forces that have entered the house.  

I told you - young girls are magnets for Satan. 

So - what’s your verdict?

Do you think these houses are haunted?

And who’s ready for a sleepover in one of them?

(not me)

Be sure to let me know in a comment.

And don’t forget to hit follow for a spook every single day. 

[grimoiresontape]

The Black Art Books of Cyprian, Pt. I: The Arts and Doctrines of Cyprian

Revelore Press' Folk Necromancy in Transmission series recently released a landmark publication in the form of the late Dr Thomas K. Johnson's Svartkonstböcker: A Compendium of the Swedish Black Art Book Tradition.

It is with no hyperbole I call this text a monumental accomplishment of research and scholarship: translating, transcribing, and comparing over thirty original manuscripts of pre-modern Swedish folk magic to draw fascinating conclusions about the nature and implementation of such recipes and rituals. A profound practical resource for working magicians, this 666-page compendium will be greatly edifying for anyone interested in Northern European magic, folklore, and customs. In particular, the vein of Cyprianic and necromantic material here is especially interesting. Black Books indeed...

It is also a personally significant achievement of the Folk Necromancy in Transmission series to be able to publish this masterwork of Dr Johnson's posthumously, with the blessing of - and, indeed, a foreword from - his widower. It is an honour to bring this work to a new audience. I am exceedingly grateful for the hard work of my co-editor on the FNiT series, Jesse Hathaway Diaz, for his long hours re-inking and re-scanning the various (and occasionally especially tricksy!) seals, sigils, and runes of this monumental compendium; and of course for the fearless leadership and project management of Captain Revelore herself, Dr Jenn Zahrt.

As an editor on the Folk Necromancy in Transmission series, I am delighted to have been involved in helping make this publication happen, and so in honour of the Feast of Saint Cyprian and Saint Justina this day, this blog-post marks the first of a series examining the specifically Cyprianic material contained in this compendium. For establishing-shot context, I encourage all interested parties to check out Johannes Björn Gårdbäck's essay in the Cypriana: Old World anthology on the Cyprianus Förmaning specifically and, more broadly, examining our patron saint of nigromancy's reach and influence upon Northern European folk magic.

The Black Art Book collection curated by Dr Johnson boasts four manuscripts of particular Cyprianic significance. The first, The Arts and Doctrines of Cyprian, and their employment, is a compilation of thirty operations, remedies, and conjurations; explicitly said to be the teachings of our good Sorcerer-Saint. The second text is an exorcism, calling upon 'biblical and ecclesiastical personages to drive out the four primary Princes of Hell and their minions.' Such an exorcism is described as 'exhortations... presented as those made by St. Cyprian'. The third manuscript is a seventeenth-century exorcism and blessing which similarly begins as a first-person Cyprianic incantation. Both of these texts purport therefore to be the very words of the Good Saint of Antioch. Finally, the fourth manuscript, a collection of remedies and charms, is described as a 'Supriania', and consists of incantations and operations for healing, numbing pain, removing lameness from limbs, and - in a notable exception to the rest of its charms - a work of most explicit necromancy. 

This post is a cliff-notes breakdown of the operations and incantations contained within the first of these four documents, MS 12 NM 40.034. We end by considering one particular magical utility for the rod of divination described herein.

 The Arts and Doctrines of Cyprian, and their employment Ms 12 NM 40.034 (Onsby parish, Skåne province, 1809) 

1.      Experiment of the 'Snow-king' bird This collection begins with a very short and somewhat strange operation in which one kills and then resurrects a bird 'that is called "snow-king"'. The operation foregrounds a charm that can be said over the wound 'as a plaster' that will heal it, and which perhaps might be used on other wounds, but the necromantic dimensions of killing and then healing an animal should not be lost on us. While some of these operations seem to be unrelated and have no particular succession, some we shall encounter later are quite definitely deliberately ordered so as to be performed in proper sequence. It is therefore tempting to see this first operation as somewhat of an initialising empowering mystery, that might begin our further engagement with these Arts and Doctrines... 

2.      Cyprian's Exorcism This exorcism is also first-person, beginning 'I, Cyprian, the worshipper of the eternal God and Jesus Christ's only son, the pure and true Gospel, confess by the holy Spirit in Christ Jesus whereof here I exorcise you devilishness and exhort you by God', before going onto 'exhort and forbid' the evil influences upon a patient and bless them with the peace of God and Jesus Christ.

3.      The Litany to exorcise sick people This litany consists of a relatively short prayer focused upon calling for God's mercy, before employing a Pater Noster and concluding with a short Latin passage.

 4.      A work for breaking enchantments This operation is a clear example of a particular "gaming" of certain conventions of spell-craft: in this case, that an enchantment can only last as long as the victim is alive. It therefore mimics the conditions of being dead - specifically, of being buried 'into the earth' - by instructing the bewitched to put a section of cut turf upon their head and recite a charm that makes the case that the enchantment must now be ended given they fulfil such criteria 'now I have earth both under me and above me and await healing now'. The sod of soil is also replaced once this operation is performed, suggesting there is also a certain transference of the enchantment into the earth at work here too - a suggestion further solidified by the final instruction to return home without looking back.

5.      A work of conjuring away gout Gout is conjured out of the limbs of the patient by appealing to its various colours: 'you yellow gout, you blue gout, you red gout'. That this is indeed a conjuration of the disease itself is interestingly supported by this second-person form of address to 'you... gout'. 

6.      A work of unbewitching cattle A prayerful incantation and exorcism to be said over the cud given to cattle who are 'unable to live, or thrive'. Ultimately, this charm forbids 'all sorcery, hauntings, and devilishness and all types of sickness that are recounted here', before closing out with a Pater Noster, Benediction, and short blessing.

 7.      Advice on milk stealing Advice attributed to John Kolerius on how a 'milk-defiler' can ruin or steal your dairy, immediately followed by...

 8.      Protecting cattle from milk-hare ...advice on how to protect your cattle's new calves from such larcenous assaults, which involve feeding the infant a mixture of certain substances in rye-bread.

 9.      A means to perceive if the butter has been bewitched Also a discussion of methods of magically torturing those who have stolen butter or cheese.

 10.  The breaking off of a divining rod Instructions on acquiring a rod, which is charged that it will 'always and forever say to me the whole truth about what will happen in the future, and what will happen in the immediate present, and what in the past has happened'. Moreover the rod is instructed to also reveal 'the treasures that are under or are within the earth'. Such a conjuration, again directed at 'you, Rod', also includes appeal to the four Elemental Kings of Cherub, Thorsis, Oriel, Seraph.

 11.  A conjuration for this rod, if you wish to know something or wish to find a treasure Having consecrated the rod for this use, the following operation presents the means to actually employ the divining rod for such a purpose. It too cleaves to appeal to 'the four Elemental Rulers Chrerub, Tharssis, Ariell, Serafhim'; indeed conjuring each ruler specifically by their element. The operation concludes with a nota that asserts and assures in equal measure that 'the often named Elemental Kings and spirits Cherub, Torssis, Uriel [sic], Seraph are actually: good angels foreordained to rule over the stars or the planets.' Having established the righteousness of such work, the next few operations are specifically centred around these ruling spirits.

 12.  The conjuration of the 4 Elemental kings (and the acquiring of a spirit-compelling walking-stick) This operation begins by establishing a circle of protection, directing 'You Elemental Kings will show to me and my comrades in this Circle the pleasant service of now and from this moment cast away all of the spirits of Hell and ghosts and all the parties of Hell'. There follows a series of written charms, glyphs, and seals for the apparent binding of a wicked spirit, as well as a series of means of compelling 'the spirit of Hell' to do your bidding. It also ends with a brief instruction on how to cut a hazel or oak walking-stick that may further coerce 'the Spirits of Hell to follow your intent and orders', a subtle phrasing that thus includes both the letter and spirit of an instruction. 

13.  To make a correct rod In fact two interrelated sets of instructions: the first, for acquiring and properly consecrating a wand 'that will attract silver and money'; and the second to 'conjure you staff that you be as strong that you now drive away all the types that I strike of Hell’s spirits'. Such methods demonstrate a common perspective on treasure-hunting necessities. Finding the place of buried treasure was only the first step; one must also be able to conjure and compel the spirits guarding such treasures to reveal it and give it up. One particularly neat conjuration methodology emerges from this operation: that of conjuring the spirit by a seal marked on a piece of paper that is then beaten by this rod, that 'this spirit of Hell I want to know and be able to sustain all the beatings that I will make with this walking stick, in his name, and be afflicted just as if he stood personally in front of me.'

 14.  To exorcise the dragon Given that this exorcism is directed at 'you old apadonius, who lies here on top of this treasure', and given that it instructs such a spirit to 'release this treasure upon which you have long laid', it seems fair to consider this dragon exorcism to be a further supplement to the works of the treasure-hunting stick above. 

15. To see what is coming A surprisingly simple operation of magical sight, one is instructed to anoint one's eyes with the sweat or moisture in a horse's eyes, in order to 'be able to see how it is'. Given This instruction falls between two operations apparently dealing explicitly with a treasure-guarding 'dragon' spirit, and so seems part of this broader endeavour, rather than simply a magical means of diagnosing a horse's ailments. Such a reading is backed up by the apparent referral back to this operation in the sixteenth working.

 16. When the dragon wants to grow Soil that has been consecrated by touring it through a church is added to seeds and then thrown upon the treasure spirit, making it 'fall and disappear altogether.' We are also instructed, calling back the previous working, that washing the eyes with spring water will return our 'correct vision' to us.

 17. When you want to attract money Again, seemingly part of the wider treasure-hunting magics of this collection, such an operation includes a variety of materia: asafetida, sulphur, the previously mentioned seeds, three splinters and a piece of the cloth from a church altar, as well as a knife (ideally made of nine different steels), your consecrated walking-stick, and a live cat. All these resources are employed in order to compel the treasure dragon to abandon its post. And fear not, the cat is not sacrificed; although it is dragged by the tail around the circle three times before letting it run away. A comparatively gentle employment given the usual trends in Cyprianic texts for animal torture...

18. For freedom for yourself, use these characters 3 times and tie them then around your waist and cast a circle around you Such a work of protection seems to have at its centre the preservation to 'pay heed to neither sword nor shot'. 

19. A conjuration of exorcism and devil-binding A conjuration of 'you unclean spirit' to 'turn away' from a bewitched or possessed patient, whose 'pain and suffering' is also abjured by appeal to God and Christ. The lines here between grimoiric conjuration, exorcism, and medical charm are not only blurred but ineluctably interwoven.   

20. A counter-magic incantation of protection A conjuration against all evil spirits, compelling them away from 'this place this evening'. Various entities are specified as bound: 'witches, mountain trolls, and sorcerers, woodwives and water sprites, all types of spirits and all types of poisonous hauntings'. At the conclusion of the exorcising however, a further impulsion is pronounced: ' in the Devil’s name, so shall your strength be taken from you, and with these words you shall have no power.' Such an imprecation might simply be directed to the roving bands of spirits previously mentioned, but this also seems a somewhat pointed directive against a particular individual. It could certainly be employed in a counter-magical manner as one. 

21. Against wolves This very short working operates around a fascinating deal made with the wolves against which one wishes to protect one's livestock. Offering three woolen threads clipped from your clothes at the first wolfprint you see on New Years, an appeal is made that 'with this I clothe you, but you and your friends will take your meals at some other place'. A gift demands a gift or favour in return after all.

 22. Against predators in the forest and others The proportions of a herbal recipe for a powder to be burned as an incense 'and also to take internally eating a bit', which is specified as 'for use by a householder in his day to day work'. One cannot help but note the practicality and even community preservation of such an operation. 

23. Eye salve is bought at the apothecary This entry merely states 'white galmaja'. No further information is provided.

24. For the brewing of liquor use this to cense the tin and the distilling tub A proportioned herbal recipe, with no further magical instructions; once more foregrounding the practicality of some of these entries.

 25. To free your bees from all evil or what it may be, and that they won’t travel off. Instructions seem to include inserting 'a little of a raven' into a beehive, although Dr Johnson notes this could refer to twigs from a raven's nest. 

26. A short exhortation for whatever, just use these words against all sorcery. A binding exhortation against 'the Devil Lussefärd, Bälssebub, Belial, and Asstor, with all their evil and angry company'. The Devil is also bound in all his colours ' both brown and blue, tawny and gray, black and white, yellow and green.' Along with the express actions and effects of devils, 'evil people's sorceral arts' are similarly abjured against.

27. To put down into the cattle-shed’s stall for sorcery and grounds where you have the cattle. A working to create a talismanic object of counter-magical protection. Beginning with instructions for getting out of bed, it instructs on simple purifications of washing, fasting and silence before carving an 'oak knob from the root', before further preparing it by boring '9 holes and write 9 Xs and nine types of fruitbearing trees, and garlic, and hair from each of the animals' are then stuffed into the holes. Thus ritually linked to the farm and its land and livestock, the object - called a "pill" - is conjured and activated.  

28. Stopping Thievery A written and spoken charm for compelling a thief to return stolen goods. A paper inscribed with the correct magical glyphs is burned as the short spoken charm links this to the actions of the thief and the intentions of the operation to compel return.

29. For constipation Allegedly taken from 'Hindrich Smit’s Healing Book', this operation involves inserting alum and meat into the constipated patient. After sitting for a good while in a chair, they are expected to walk around and 'be loosened'.

30. To protect horses over the winter from heaves This operation involves feeding the horses a small amount of their own hair, taken from 'the mane and a little from around the genitals and a little from the rump' mixed into their oats. This should be done in autumn 'when they’re just starting to be fed inside', and it is specified that the hair must be cut very finely or ground.

 Implications for Practice: Divining Rods

MS 12 should first simply be acknowledged for combining protection, exorcism, and works of physical healing with the more familiar cunning-crafts of thief-compelling, treasure-finding, and the conjuration of spirits. It is at various points eminently almost prosaically practical, and at others points deeply mysterious, with the assumptions, contextual skipping, and unexplained protocols of the spirit-work contained therein proving especially fascinating.

There are many threads I would like to pick at in this collection alone, but I will summarise but one piece of the largest block of instructions, conjurations, and workings -those of the divining rod. While the walking-stick clearly has broader applications in the conjuration, charging, and compulsion of unclean spirits, I will focus for now merely on its functions of it as divining rod.

Following the tenth operation's instructions on breaking off and performing conjurations of consecration upon a wand or rod, the eleventh operation in MS 12 is entitled: 'If you wish to know something or wish to find a treasure, you should do this with the rod.' As with the breaking off of the rod previously, the Elementals seem central to this kind of wand working. We are instructed to 'put the divining rod on the Elemental Kings Element where the thing you desire is hidden; and hit that place with it saying the previously mentioned Elemental King’s name in the following conjuration'. Such instructions - to strike the earth for the thing you want - are of course central components of treasure-hunting magic. Here the wand has a physical use. It is not merely a token of authority or means to weave subtle virtues - although it certainly performs these roles too. It is also employed to touch and interact with the land, its spirits, and its mysteries; not to mention actual soil, water, charcoal, and all the elementated wonders of the worlds.

The rod is instructed after multiple conjurations of the Elemental Kings to 'stand up, you noble Rod', and then more specifically to 'arise and show me without delay and without falsity show to me, Rod, the truth of what I wish to know'. I cannot help but note that such material would serve well as frameworks and material for preparatory prayers with which to begin divination. The suggestion that the rod may be conjured to express some form of motion or physical inclination perhaps most obviously calls to mind various dowsing practices - and certainly such rites seem apt for using a rod in this manner. But the combination of striking the earth and the suggestion of enspirited tool in the rod work of MS 12 strike me as also applicable to the practice of geomantic squilling.

Squilling is the point of interaction for guiding and ruling spirits of geomantic divination to express their wisdoms and to reveal truths. The diviner, in a particular state of tranquility and reception, projects a set of uncounted marks with a stick in the earth; once these points are made they are tallied into geomantic figures and interpreted. Popular early modern geomancer and magician John Heydon suggests the spirits conjured to empower (indeed, enable) our geomantic divination move 'the hands of the projector' of these points.

The rod work of MS12's tenth and eleventh operations - with its exhortations that all deceptions, distractions, and potential difficulties are exorcised so that truth can be revealed - seem especially apt for the creation and employment of a geomancer's squilling stick. I leave you with the opening salvo of the consecrations and conjurations of this magical tool:

'I conjure you Rod, by Adonaij tetragramantor Zebaoth, Eloeh, Abh. Eloo Elea, and I conjure you Rod by the Lord Jesus Christ: Siloh the adonaij tetragramator Elohim Ber. Lord of the wonderful name Skhadob mallo: and I conjure you Rod by adonaij tetragamator Elohim Ruach hakadosak hagion hagiotatum – and I conjure you Rod by the 4 Evangelists’ name, Matei, Marki, Lukas and Johanis: and I conjure you Rod also by the names of the 12 apostles, and I conjure you Rod by the names of the 4 archangels: Mikaiell, Gabriell, Rafhaiell and Uriel, and I conjure you Rod by the [name] of the four Elemental Rulers Chrerub, Tharssis, Ariell, Serafhim, that you will provide to me the correct truth that I wish to know, by demonstrating a quick dip before me, as truly as

Jesus Christ was born of the Virgin Mary, and as truly as Jesus Christ’s resurrection from the dead, and as truly as God lives and reigns, and as truly as God created the Heavens and the Earth, and as truly as God has created the Sun and the Moon, and as truly as Jesus Christ crushed the head of the Serpent of Hell: So assuredly you, Rod, will do this.

(N.B.: name here the purpose and give the correct truth to know if it has happened. Then put the divining rod on the Elemental Kings Element where the thing you desire is hidden; and hit that place with it saying the previously mentioned Elemental King’s name in the following conjuration:)

N, I [name] conjure you , you King of the Element of Air, who is called Cherub,or the Element of Water who is called Tharsios, or Earth’s by the name of Oriell, or Fire’s whose name is Seraph, by Adonaij tetragrammator Eloeh Abh.and by the invisible Elo Elell, and I conjure you the King N., of the Element N.

(NB: here is mentioned both the King’s and the Element’s name, which has just been mentioned.)

By our Lord Jesus Christ Adonaij tetragramator and I  conjure you Eoloeh ben Lord of the named names sadobmals: and I conjure you King N. of Eleor hakedosak Elohim Hagior hagiotator and I conjure you King N. of the Element N: 5 and I conjure you King N. from the Element N., in the name of the four Evangelists Mateus, Markus, Lukas and Johannes. And I conjure you King N of the Element N, by the names of Jesus Christ’s twelve apostles.

And I conjure you King N of the Element N by the 4 holy archangels Mikaiel, Gabriell, Rafhael and Uriell, and your name King N of the Element N., Steer and guide this Rod and lead it to your Element and help me through this Rod to discover and take up the expectation of my soul, so that I may find out through this Rod and come to the main goal and complete truth of my purpose and find it...'

[kdtheghostwriter]

SNK 115  - “OMW”

I mean...

Let’s be real. As far as Deus Ex goes, I’ve seen more preposterous this week.

If any of you are wondering why this post took so long, it isn’t for lack of time I assure you. This chapter was…a lot. And god damn, Isayama, I wasn’t expecting to dig up my Junior Year debate notes for this one blog post but here we are lads. Quick recap before we get into writers’ mumbo-jumbo.

Flashback

Deus EX

#HeelFloch

Sad Hange

RESURRECTION

We all know Isa loves his religious imagery. He isn’t quite as egregious as Zack Snyder (who is, tbh?) but it’s definitely a thing. He also loves mythology of all types. And while Norse mythology seems to be his area of expertise, it isn’t mine - which is why seeing Stupid Sexy Zeke emerge from his Titan Incubator made me think of another Stupid Sexy God from the Ancient Greek Canon.

I speak of the Goddess Aphrodite, who has dominion over love, beauty and its various trappings. Admittedly, this comparison is drawn in relation to aesthetics only. Zeke’s aloof temperament doesn’t really mirror that of the Greek goddess. Even though Aphrodite did technically help start the Trojan War but that’s neither here nor there.

Zeke’s appearance from the steam of the felled Titan is nearly identical to the foam that appeared during Aphrodite’s spontaneous conception in the Ionian Sea. For the sake of transparency, I must point out that long ago, a fanfic author by the name of Homer relayed to us that Aphrodite was the daughter of Zeus and Dione. This is not technically wrong but it is quite boring. And it was also pre-dated (shout-out to Hesiod). Uranus, the primordial god of the sky, got into a spat with his children as deities are wont to do. This particular dust-up ended in Uranus being castrated by his son – the Titan, Cronus – who usurped the throne. The disembodied testicles fell into the sea like a pair of primordial bath bombs and out of the resulting effervescence appeared a full-grown Aphrodite in all of her Tumblr-banned glory.

Zeke, with nothing left of him after the explosion than a head and torso, was taken into the gut of a waiting Titan. Let me clarify, here. He was not eaten, no. The mindless titan scooted itself along the river banks and inserted the dying Zeke into its stomach cavity. Then OG Ymir with her trademark PATHS Magiks,  crafts the golden boy a brand new body and sends him on his merry way.

Like I said up top: of all the examples of Deus Ex, this isn’t even the third-most severe I’ve seen. The implications of it are…a lot. And it actually makes sense if you consider what we know about Titan Biology.

Back to the beginning. Once upon a time, the Founder Ymir Fritz made a deal with the Devil of All Earth that gave her untold power after coming into contact with the “source of all living matter.” With that power, Ymir became the Progenitor of Titan Power. Upon her death 13 years later, her soul was split into nine pieces and connected via a metaphysical system known only as PATHS. These PATHS transcend space and time and bind together every subject of Ymir, even those who have been long dead.

We also know that the Titans themselves are a conundrum of theoretical physics. Their mass and energy are created from nothing. They generate massive amounts of heat, but don’t appear to need fuel. They have no digestive system and regurgitate the contents of their stomach when it becomes full. Even though they are huge creatures, their actual limbs and body parts are incredibly light. Even though Zeke has little recollection of what happened to him post-explosion, he’s likely smart enough to infer, as we can, exactly how and why he emerged from the carcass of a Titan with a brand new body.

This is all before we mention that Zeke Jaeger is a part of the Fritz family tree. The Royal Family line that descends directly from Ymir herself.

I also thought about Lazarus of Bethany while reading this section. Lazarus was a good friend of Jesus, the lad from Bethlehem. Maybe you’ve heard of him. Jesus was told that Lazarus had fallen ill, but has business and doesn’t set out until a few days later. Jesus and his crew arrive in Bethany only to discover that Lazarus has already passed away. This leads to the Gospel’s shortest verse.

Jesus wept. [John 11:35, KJV]

Perhaps the better comparison for her is to Abraham (with the whole “making a great nation” stipulation). But! I’m trying to do something pithy here, so bear with me.

The story of Lazarus might be the Good Book’s most well-known resurrection (besides that other one). The idea here is that the world’s most Holy Figure decided that this man’s time on Earth wasn’t done. Jesus was too late to heal Lazarus and felt so guilty as to weep. Lazarus was then called forth from his tomb, still wrapped in his death robes.

For the Eldian Empire, no figure is more Holy than Ymir Fritz. She’s the Founding Titan and, if this chapter is to be inferred upon, her spirit still influences the will of her subjects to the day. An entire cult has formed with the sole purpose of returning her to her former glory. I should also point out that Zeke essentially committed suicide.

Like, yeah, maybe the injuries were a bit too extreme for an old shifter to be able to regenerate from, but even if that’s the case there would have been the telltale signs of an attempt to do so, like Pieck in Liberio. There wasn’t even that. He was so tired of the fight – so done with Levi torturing him – that he was willing to abandon his years-long plan entirely and sacrifice his powers to the shadows of death. He chose to die; the Founder chose differently.

The rainstorm clearing to make way for the sun. The beautification of Zeke Jaeger. The visage of his tall, strong frame standing firm as his hated rival lays broken and mutilated at his feet. It’s all very hard to miss. Who knows where his head is at following this? I do, however, finally know why I get so many Spidey Sense tingles whenever Zeke opens his mouth.

  The name is Immanuel Kant: German scholar and one of the godfathers of modern philosophy. I first learned of Kant and his teachings as a teenager on my high school debate team as I prepared my cases for the Lincoln-Douglas competition. It was my first tournament and I placed second out of dozens of students. After I was done for the day, a girl came up to me and gave me congratulations for understanding Kant. I thanked her, but the truth was that I didn’t fully grasp Kantian philosophy until I got home that night and studied a bit more. Kantian ethics can be hard to grasp because they are often in conflict with each other. (Gee, that sounds familiar.)

Kant’s ethics are deontological in principal. This is a fancy way of saying that the main concern is the Deed That Must Be Done. It is a separation of morals from emotion. Kant rejected the Utilitarians of the day and their schools of thought regarding the inherent “goodness” of an action. Specifically, he had a big problem with Determinism, saying that things like free will were inherently unknowable; also, basing the morality of a decision around perceived outcomes was impossible, because consequences existed outside of physical existence and therefore could not be quantified. Kant set out to quantify the question of moral relativism with his most famous work: The Categorical Imperative.

This is a terribly complex system that has been repurposed and reinterpreted countless times over the past two centuries so I’ll spare you any ballywho. Basically, CI is the inverse of Consequentialism where everything but the consequences matter. Saving a person from drowning isn’t inherently a good action unless there is a logical reason for doing so. This is admittedly a very simplified summation, but even the expanded version leads to some dissonance of reason.

If we look at the Abstract of Categorical Imperative, it tells us: “Do not impose on others what you do not wish for yourself.” This line is very similar to the Golden Rule, which Kant famously opposed. The American scholar Peter Corning pointed this out, saying, “Kant’s objection is especially suspect because the Categorical Imperative sounds a lot like a paraphrase…of the same fundamental idea. Calling it a universal law does not materially improve on the basic concept.” To borrow an idea myself, it’s like playing the Super Mario theme in a minor key. It’ll sound more dour than usual, but it’s still the Mario theme. Joking aside, what’s important here is that the whole point of CI is to quantify the question of morality and it appears to do that in part by using the qualitative philosophy of the Golden Rule.

Another big beef came from Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard. He felt that Kantian autonomy was insufficient in holding people to the standards of CI’s universal truths. In his words: “Kant was of the opinion that man is his own law – that is, he binds himself under the law which he himself gives himself. Actually, in a profounder sense, this is how lawlessness or experimentation are established.” In other words, if the only thing that matters is reasoning, you can justify almost anything to serve your immediate reasoning.

EXAMPLE

Here is where the dubious nature of the Categorical Imperative fully rears its head, as it displays BOTH the morality and immorality of Zeke’s plan.

On one hand, this plan is fucking awful. There are numerous and many arguments to be made against it; working solely in the context of Kantianism, it is irrational to presume that sterilizing the Eldian people will lead to a more peaceful world. It relies on a ludicrous number of assumptions – the least of which isn’t that Marley will one day stop being a total bell end. Besides that shit, it violates the nature of Kantian philosophy by attempting to foresee the outcome of the situation.

The other hand? It actually makes sense. CI says that only reason matters. It’s ethics through the lens of rational thought. No matter your thoughts about the Great Titan War, how it started and ended, whether or not the Eldians’ preceding subjugation was just or not, it’s a fact that the Titans have caused a great deal of suffering for many people. Only one race of people can transform into these beasts, so the idea of stripping their ability to reproduce isn’t a great leap to make. It is rational specifically in the context of this universe.

(Apologies for any details missed. I haven’t read any Kant in several years and this is a very condensed version of a concept I would encourage you to look into further. Thinking about this all now, the fact that I ever made it to out-rounds while arguing any of this is frankly absurd.)

It makes sense then, finally, why Yelena is so devoted to Zeke’s plan. Titans destroyed her home and slaughtered her people. The rational course of action is to remove this weapon from the hands of those (Marley) that would abuse them. And if those same perpetrators get screwed over during the course of this plan then…[Shrug Emoji]. She claims what she wants is justice. What she really wants, of course, is revenge. Just like her sensei, Jaeger-san, who wants revenge still. Which Jaeger, you ask? The answer is yes.

Situations have been reversed. The volunteers (and Onyankopon) are seated at the head of the table while the officers of the Garrison and Military Police that held them captive are under their thumb. Color-coded armbands are divvied out to the Eldian forces, juuuuust in case you forgot which period of history we’re sending up here. Armbands are assigned based upon when a person surrendered to the Jaegerists. Those higher ups (and Falco) that partook of the wine get their own special armband, because Everything Is Awesome!!

Then there’s this fucking guy. Before I revisited the world of epistemology, I had a much less astute take prepared about character psychology and the concept of the “Double Turn.” I may still write that as a separate post; it won’t do any good here. Reiner didn’t appear, firstly (even though it appears that he and the Warrior Unit are on Paradis), and the visage of a disembodied child using Titan Magiks to bring Zeke back from the precipice of death brings up some very real questions about how real the Curse really is. We don’t know how Ymir Fritz died originally. Given the way mythology tends to work, I’d say patricide is highly plausible.

As usual, all we can do is speculate. One thing that doesn’t need speculation is Pieck. As usual, she’s right on time. As expected, she’s exactly right.

 Stray Thoughts

- As I noted last time, Levi was sent flying into the river. Evidently, he had enough strength to make it back to shore, just not much more than that. I suspect he’s alive for now but, goddamn did he get messed up. Levi underestimated Zeke’s suicidal tendencies, just as Zeke underestimated Levi’s tenacity. For two fellas that spent months in direct contact with each other, they have almost no clue.

- Not to stir the pot here but, here’s an in-story example of Kantian Ethics in case you’re still not quite sure. On the roof in Shiganshina – if Kant had been there (lol) – he would have disputed Levi giving the serum to Armin. Not for the reason you think. Categorical Imperative is all about reason. The reason Levi chose to save Armin is because he refused to rob his loved one of their humanity and instead chose to let him rest as opposed to reviving him for the sake of continuing a senseless, endless war. As Momtaku has said before: Levi chose Erwin over Armin. This was a choice made on emotional, borderline selfish, grounds and thereby irrational, which in Kant’s eyes makes it immoral. Just a little extra nugget for you. Discuss, friends!

[telesthisia]

Ignoring smash for a moment since it’s verse is non-canon to this blog, the only combat aspect of Ze/lda’s magic is the fact that she can bestow blessings on weapons of all sorts for those who are deemed worthy in her eyes, these blessings do not last long as there is a time limit, at least an hour. This power dates back to her first ancestor where she had blessed the Master Sword to its full power however since this sword was forged by holy means her blessing is able to last for ages. Such is not the case for the current incarnation of Z/elda. That said, the blessing is able to smite evil with but a mighty swing of the weapon, there is a time limit however lasting only for an hour tops. There is a reason why she didn’t just do this in A/LTTP and it’s because she didn’t master this ability until after the events of the Oracle series, seeing how she’s been kidnapped like three times now she believes it to be wise to have some sort of combative properties but this is all she can do at the moment. It’s somewhat disappointing since this means she has to rely on others to protect her but what else can be done? Although she is starting to think about using the bow like she did during the final battle with G.anon (ahem ahem from the 90s manga at least). She’ll more than likely bug Link to teaching her how to use the bow. Should she learn how to wield it then more than likely the concept of light arrows would come to fruition explaining why they appear in A.BLW instead of the silver arrows!

Since light magic is her specialty, Ze/lda is able to heal the person in question back to their full health while mending whatever wounds they may have. It’s somewhat painful, a little sting when patching up the wounds can be felt. But aside from that, the person should be good as new! Aside from healing she is able to peer into the future through her dreams yet the images in her dreams are incredibly vague and she must try to piece together what they mean on her own. Telepathy is also an ability she has… but only uses that for emergencies since Psychic Headaches and Nosebleeds can occur as mentioned way back when since her PSI has a certain recoil effect same when she uses her light magic as there are side effects to using that magic as well which I will talk about later on unless I already had! I’l have to fact check. 

Despite having the blood of the sages and goddess(also known as The Light Force) running through her veins along with the T.riforce of Wisdom, this incarnation of Z/elda does not have impressive magical abilities when compared to other Z/eldas due to the fact that she has very little stamina and her health is just... terrible so she stuck with spells that won’t affect her terribly. However, her magical properties are off the charts which is why she was to be sacrificed twice, both for different reasons. One was to break the seal to the sacred realm and the other was to resurrect G.anon. Nonetheless, her magic is the key for great potential, those who are aware of this will try to get their hands on her magic. 

Note: if Z/elda had any combative magic like she does in Ultimate I believe that she would’ve easily evaded Agahnim and more than likely hold her ground instead of getting kidnapped twice same could be said for T//winrova. Hence why I made her more of a healer than anything, aside from her telepathy this is the only ability we see her perform in A.LTTP, it can be assumed that she’s able to seal things away due to the fact that she comes from The Seven Wise Sages bloodline and has H/ylia’s sealing power. I’d like to believe that she can break through barriers, with the help of the seven maidens she can break through the most powerful barriers, and have a high sensitivity towards dark magic thus growing sick quite easily when exposed to it, her Light Force can somewhat protect her from certain dark magic, however, as seen with her ancestor in M.inish Cap.

To add a tiny thing since I am now doing smash verse for Zel, her magic in that verse is more flexible to use due to having better health within that canon. She relies more on the magic of her T.riforce rather than the Light Force. Most of the spells and magic she uses are all the results of her studying her ancestor’s magic.  

[saulbaby]

Chapter Sixty- One: Third Anniversary

Note- sorry for uploading on the wrong blog

Hey guys! Sorry this took so long to get out- I vow from here on out not to do party chapters anymore because the pictures are so hard to get it’s insane.

Okay- also, yesterday , August 18th, was the Aristocrat’s third year anniversary of existing! That’s wild, I don’t think I’ve ever stuck with anything that long. Anyways, enjoy!

Beatrice: “LUCKY! I need your help!”

Lucky: “Hey, mom, what’s up I’m about to head to work.”

Beatrice: “You can’t go to work, it’s Aristocrat Day! A new holiday just for us and we get the day off of work!”

Lucky: “I know I just have a few appointments this morning and then I’ll be back home.”

Beatrice: “You’re going to work? In your pajamas?”

Lucky: “They’re scrubs.”

Beatrice: “Just because the patient is a scrub doesn’t mean you don’t need to dress well.”

Lucky: “No, this is my uniform. Nobody’s hanging out the passenger side of his best friends ride. Okay- I really need to go.”

Beatrice: “You’re leaving me understaffed and under-appreciated, Lucky. I am your mother!”

Lucky: “Yeah, uh-huh. I’ll see you at the party.”

Beatrice: “Okay, but just make sure that you pick up the gift bags at the party shop on the way home!

Lucky: “Sure, no worries. See you tonight.”

Beatrice: “Useless, absolutely useless. Lorne! Come here and hold the ladder- and call the rest of our children to help me set up, since Lucky ditched us.”

Lorne: “I take it that means I’m not allowed to wander off until the party starts?”

Beatrice: “Do that and I swear I will divorce you.”

Lorne: “Very funny, dear.”

Beatrice: “I’m not joking.”

Lorne: “I know.”

Lucky: “Sorry I’m late.”

Courtney: “Heh, no worries, so is Mr. Rose.”

Lucky: “Then I guess it’s not an issue. Are all the machines warmed up?”

Courtney: “Yep- not that it needs to get any hotter!”

Lucky: “You can say that again. The rain didn’t make it any cooler, just more humid. Is it possible that my hair is even frizzier than normal?”

Courtney: “Mmm, nope, I don’t this that is possible.”

Lucky: “Oh, ha-ha.”

[Bzzzzttt]

Lucky: “What was that?”

Courtney: “I think the power went out.”

Lucky: “Does that mean we get to go home early?”

Courtney: “Yeah, I think it does. Want a ride to the party?”

Lucky: “Sure, I just have to get the gift bags on the way home. Let me just call Mr. Rose”

Courtney: “Uh- Lucky? Remember those really expensive cloud-based doors you made us get that hooked up to the rest of the office?”

Lucky: “Yeah?”

Courtney: “I think it just locked us in.”

Lucky: “Locked us in? That’s not possible, it can’t do that- can it do that?”

Courtney: “I dunno, ask that rude talking toilet upstairs if it can do that.”

Lucky: “I still don’t know why they made the control panel a toilet. Let me go check.”

Lucky: “The toilet is dead too.”

Courtney: “I tried calling customer service, the phones are down.”

Lucky: “Super. I guess we just have to wait out the storm.”

Courtney: “Or maybe just hope that your mom scares the storms away.”

Lucky: “Possibly, if she wasn’t holding the party at the old mansion in Oasis Springs.”

Courtney: “Oh.”

Lucky: “Yeah. We’re trapped. Did you try the windows yet?”

Courtney: “Yup.”

Beatrice: “Where in god’s name is Lucky I need those gift bags right now the party is starting! Everyone we know is invited! This is going to be a disaster!”

Lorne: “It’ll be amazing. It’ll just be a bunch of people drinking, throwing confetti, and giving gifts competitively. Nothing could ruin today! It’s our third birthday as a family!”

Milo: “Seriously, mom, it’ll be great.”

Beatrice: “I wish I could be that optimistic. Where the hell is Lucky?!”

Lorne: “Why don’t we just ask someone else to bring it?”

Beatrice: “Then we would have too many gift bags, Lorne. Do you really want that many gift bags? There are perishable items in there, Lorne. Do you want them to perish? Do you?’

Lorne: “Yes, that’s what I want.”

Courtney: “So…”

Lucky: “So?”

Courtney: “How’s Trip?”

Lucky: “Oh- he’s good, we just went camping last weekend.”

Courtney: “Camping? I thought you hated camping.”

Lucky: “I’m...figuring it out. Still finding twigs in my hair, though.”

Courtney: “Or you could do what I do- not go camping.”

Lucky: “Sure, sure- Emily doesn’t make you do anything annoying on weekends?”

Courtney: “I mean...would you consider going hiking with a bunch of cats on leashes annoying?”

Lucky: “Yes. I would think that. You’re a dog person, anyways.”

Courtney: “That I am. Even more so since I’ve put sunscreen on a cat.”

Lucky: “A hairless cat?”

Courtney: “...no. A regular one. A lot of regular ones.”

Lucky: “Yikes.”

~~~~~~~

Lucky: “So then, I said ‘where’s my pencil!’”

Courtney: “Ha!!”

Lucky: “Yeah, so that’s the story of the time our teen chapter was almost the Breakfast Club.”

Courtney: “Why’d it get scrapped?”

Lucky: “Oh, because we refused to dance in sync. Sad, but true.”

Courtney: “Devastating.”

---

Lucky: “So the seven of llamas is worth less than the five of gnomes? That doesn’t make any sense.”

Courtney: “That’s how we played it at camp, so, camp rules, I’m afraid.”

Lucky: “Oh, BS.”

Courtney: “What are you gonna do? Look it up?”

Lucky: “I wouldn’t have to look it up if you had kept the little card with all the rules on it like a normal person..”

Courtney: “Tsk tsk- so critical, but which one of us had a pack of cards available in case of emergencies?”

--

Lorne: “Okay, people are arriving for the party. I haven’t been able to get a hold of Lucky, but otherwise, we’re looking great!”

Beatrice: “How can you say such a thing? When Taffy went out to get decorations, she only got foundation banners! This house doesn’t even have a foundation? What the hell am I supposed to do with these banners, Lorne? Huh? The friezes are naked.”

Lorne: “Good for them, it is hot.”

Beatrice: “Is this all a joke to you? This is a landmark occasion!”

Lorne: “I know that, my love, but one of our listed holiday activities is drinking and I am a world renowned mixologist- how about you let me cheer up the party by getting everybody heroically drunk?”

Beatrice: “What would I do without you, Lorne?”

Lorne: “You’ll never find out, m’dear. I’m planning on us going out like your Grandpa Thaddeus and Glamma Clementine- synchronized, in the middle of a party, in the smallest room of the house, blocking the door.”

Beatrice: “That is so romantic. Not this party, though, this party has to go perfectly, do you understand? If you die at this party, I’ll kill you.”

Lorne: “Yes ma’am.”

Zuri: “How have you guys been?”

Two: “Excellent, adopted mother. The infant is purple, but not an alien.”

Zuri: “Well, that’s fun. Prue- is being a real vampire again fun?”

Prue: “Not as fun as a purple baby- I bet.”

Patty: “Bea! How are you, dear?”

Beatrice: “You- but- you’re so- how are you still so young.?!”

Patty: “Resurrection, darling. You look...great. Like a fine wine.”

Beatrice: “One more word and you’ll be getting a glass of wine in your face. Nice pantsuit.”

Patty: “I know, right?”

Milo: “So...Great-Glampa and great uncle? Is that right?”

Wolfgang: “At this point, who the hell knows. Just drink and try not to call anybody by the wrong name.”

Beatrice: “Dad?!”

Ivan: “Oh...shit...I don’t think so. I’m not that old.”

Beatrice: “No- we came from the future- remember?”

Ivan: “No?”

Beatrice: “This is so weird- I haven’t seen you since you abandoned us with a wealthy stranger with a bitchy daughter!”

Ivan: “That sounds like something I would do, let’s be real here.”

Eliza: “So...stole my hair, huh Meg?”

“Heh, uh...my hair looks like this now, though. So…”

Eliza: “What’s with the little metal glove.”

“...summer soldier.”

Eliza: “God damnit”

Trip: “Excuse me, have you seen Lucky? We were supposed to go camping after this party, but I can’t find her.”

Emily: “Oh, I love camping! My cats and I go all the time.”

Trip: “You know, if you’re doing that out in the sun it’s really important to put sun-”

Emily: “-screen.”

Milo: “Weird.”

Beatrice: “Charles! How are you!”

Charles: “Good- still blonde, even though I’m old.”

Beatrice: “I’ve been thinking about you recently. Remember bachelorette? Good times...I’ve been watching that show and you’re lucky I was the girl they just left the guy in the chicken suit in the desert after he fell off a bunk bed onto his face.”

Charles: “What...really?”

Beatrice: “Really. It was awesome. How about a hug- for old times?”

Beatrice: “You’re still so strong. Nuh-uh- no letting go. Just another second.”

Lucky: “Man it is still raining hard out there. Looks like we’re going to miss the party.”

Courtney: “That’s too bad- I know you were looking forward to it”

Lucky: “It’s not that important. Would’ve been nice to see everybody though- Meghan resurrected Aunt Patty for this. I guess we’ll see her around.”

Courtney: “If we’re not going to make it, I should at least give you your gift.”

Lucky: “You didn’t have to get me anything! What is it? Gimme!”

Courtney: “Very modest.”

Lucky: “It’s...what is it?”

Courtney: “It’s- heh- it’s your hat. When we met your hat flew off into the ocean- I was walking Peaches a few days later and it had washed up on the beach. It’s super gross, I know, I’ve been trying to clean it for like a month but it just wouldn’t- oh!”

Lucky: “Sorry!”

Courtney: “Don’t apologize!”

Lucky: “I just...can’t believe you remembered at all. I’m not used to people actually listening when I go on about things.”’

Courtney: “Really? I feel like I remember most things that you’ve said to me. Though- um, I guess I might not remember if I forgot them. Besides- that was how we met. I wasn’t going to forget that.”

Lucky: “Thank you, Courtney. I mean it.”

Courtney: “Of course. You’re special to me, Lucky.”

Lucky: “You’re...special to me too.”

Courtney: “Heh, well, ahem….this rain is never going to let up is it?”

Lucky: “I’m not sure I mind so much, anymore.”

-

Natasha: “Time for presents everyone!”

Beatrice: “Okay, everyboy has the perfect gift- but no gift bags! This is a disaster!”

Milo: “A moustache trimmer and a whistle in case I get kidnapped again. Thanks mom. Dusty- what’d you get?”

Dusty: “A cage for my alien baby in case it can float! Thanks mom!”

Natalia: “Even darker sunglasses! I won’t be able to see anything in these I love it!”

Zuri: “A box of spiders? Awesome!”

Natasha: “Is this… it’s just a piece of paper that says attention. I think this is for you, Bea.”        

Beatrice: “Thanks mom. That’s really sweet I guess. Here’s your real present.”

Natasha: “Ah, the Aristocrat! Fifteen maraschino cherries with aspirin ground up along the rim.”

Lorne: “Happy Aristocrat Day, m’dear. My gift to you- a single rose. Like all those ones you gave to me when I won the bachelorette.”

Beatrice: “That’s very sweet, but also kind of a weak present. But sweet.”

Lorne: “Well, I also saved your party.”

Beatrice: “I guess you did.”

Lorne: “Also, I knew you were complaining that your jewelry drawer wouldn’t close, so I didn’t get you any earrings- I just got you this bag of loose diamonds.”

Beatrice: “*weeping* I love you so much, Lorne!”

Lorne: “Oh, and one more thing, I found the perfect thing to give out instead of the gift bags that Lucky never brought.”

Beatrice: “What?”

Lorne: “Honey, honey! From all the bees we have!”

Beatrice: “Bees?”

Lorne: “Bees!

Thanks for reading! At the beginning of generation nine and the third year anniversary of the Aristocrat Legacy (August 18th) I just wanted to say thank you for sticking with it, even though I’m like 40% suspicious that nobody reads it but I like to think somebody is. I went back and reread almost all of it and I must say I was pretty proud of myself for how actually funny I found a lot of it (not all of it, mind you, but enough of it to be proud)- I don’t have a lot of platforms to deliver my dumb funny stories so thank you to boolprop for being that platform for me and letting me imagine that I made some people laugh. Thanks for reading!

[neartheeasternfence]

The Road to Mangamura and Beyond

The female Emperor Shotoku said, Let there be Hyakumannto Dharani (million pagodas and Buddhist scriptures): and there million of dharani were printed. And the Emperor saw the dharani, that they were good: and the Emperor dedicated the dharani to temples. This is the oldest woodblock printing in existence (A.D.770, some say copperplate print).

Hyakumannto Dharani (National Diet Library) Source: https://www.ndl.go.jp/exhibit/50/washo_1.html#item2 https://dl.ndl.go.jp/info:ndljp/pid/2584849/2

Until around the 15th century, most publishing was done in great temples. From the mid-17th century, woodblock printing (engraving on board) became commercially viable, bestsellers such as novels and picture books for adults (proximate ancestry of manga) were published, and copyright disputes also resulted. Shogun TOKUGAWA Yoshimune (tenure; 1716-45), during his Reforms, organized an association of book publishers and sellers in order to solve such problems at the private level.

Then we reached the age of the Internet. Recently, there was the Mangamura case. In this case, it was initially thought that since its server was located overseas so the domestic laws would not have been able to crack down on. Nevertheless, the coalition of publishers claimed that the total damage amounted to 300 billion yen and moved the authorities. This estimate is converted roughly to over three billion US dollars, would have been bold. Consequently, the authorities asked the major ISPs to implement blocking, caused the site to shut down, and eventually arrested the person in charge of the operation, who had been running away overseas. It is rather the pros and cons of blocking that became a major subject of intense debate. That is because it could violate the secrecy of communication.

Since then, multiple sites have emerged as replacements for Mangamura, and one of them has become unavailable after a lawsuit was filed in New York by publishers. They might have been going to respond to the criticism that they tried to let the ISPs take blocking action on the Mangamura case, but themselves did nothing directly. In any event, it is hardly surprising that people GENERALLY have a high awareness of copyright.

There are also a number of subscription services, mainly for the domestic market, that offers unlimited access to manga. Some major publishers have begun to deliver translated versions of popular manga titles overseas without delay from the release of the main magazine. This must be a more productive approach than litigations.

Growing up in a house with a library, I have been reading a lot of books indiscriminately, since I was a child. So far as ‘children’s books’ were concerned, there would have been more translated ones than those written in my first language. I remember so many admirable translations. Manga was added with my outgrowing. Entire books were paper-based. It is only in the last several years that I have started reading eBooks. My manga collection is rapidly shifting to digital media, just as my CDs had been sucked into iTunes... If manga will one day shift to streaming like the music business, I wonder.

References: TorrentFreak, Manga Publishers Sue Pirate Site “Hoshinoromi” in New York Court (September 14, 2019) Agency for Cultural Affairs, “Mangamura,” the Worst Piracy Site in History, and How It Earns Revenues, (November 27, 2019) Anonymous blog, Dissecting the closed and resurrected piracy site Manga BANK, which began as the long-established Chinese BL scanlation community “Sannianwuban,” (November 16, 2021)