dudapaismakeup-blog

[beatcroc]

Oh yeah I watched the digital circus thing. It was alright

[monismochi]

I hate chapter 2 and I feel so bad about it but I cannot fake the enthusiasm I get from group releases for all solos… not all of the member interest me as solo artists and I wonder if this mean I should unstan altogether even though I love them in the group so much.

I think it's super toxic to force yourself to love everything someone releases just bc you like them as people.. and trying to do so will just make you begin to hold it against them.

Like... I think I've said this before last year/early this year when namjoon started doing all sorts of collabs, but if an artist is doing a bunch of different things chances are you won't like everything. But that's good bc it means they're developing as artists and I guess the same thing goes when an artist you love starts focusing on genres you don't like at all. Just pick it up and look at it and if it's not your thing then put it down and enjoy the things you DO like.

I've been thrilled by some chapter 2 developments, neutral about others, and even largely disappointed by others.

But I don't own the members and I don't control them. Maybe over time I might grow apart if they continue doing things in a direction opposite to my interests, but I also might grow closer.

I'm someone who's always been VERY interested in the lyrical aspect of things and love metaphor and the idea that things can be interpreted into many different layers, so tend to lose interest very fast in songs that can only be taken at face value (though exceptions exist)

I'm also very much not a fan of artists repeating the same content as that's equally boring so truly I'm glad evolution is happening even if it feels counterproductive atm.

Am I kinda meh about jks solo? Yeah... bc I enjoy the radio hits done by Justin Bieber, Ed sheeran, Harry styles, and Shawn Mendes... so I'm kinda uninterested in seeing their music be repeated thru jk since I already have them doing that sound... same with dancing. I KNOW jungkook is talented. He's not proving anything to me that I don't know, so him doing replicas of Michael Jackson is also kinda boring bc well.. i can watch decades of MJ doing that already... but for people who don't know him this is a good way for him to show off his vocals and dancing and pop potential... that doesn't include me so I've been pretty meh since it's nothing exciting....

Pop is very repetitive, that's the industry and I'm not faulting that. But if you want to be interesting in it you need to find something that makes you stand out and not replicate what's already being done... :/

I'm not hating on jungkook, and I'm not hating on taehyung.. but I just wish they leaned into things that made them unique instead of doing more safe genres that made them blend in.

But I guess namjoon did that risk and it kinda fcked him over in sales, same with jhope. So clearly I'm not the target audience and they must be doing something right...

Anyways. I'm just hoping that more content is released that IS for me, and I hope the same for you. But if none of it speaks to you it's ok to just enjoy the past content that you DID vibe with and just wait for chapter 3 when they all return and see if that changes anything for you. Xx

I just rbd a ton of content labeled "bts chapter 2" of moments I've really genuinely ADORED and I hope maybe something vibes with you

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #60

I rested for most of the day today. And mostly for real this time! It was beautiful!

After waking up this morning, I tried to play Pokémon. Unfortunately, I have executive dysfunction (this is part of being AuDHD), which means that sometimes I have a lot of trouble starting tasks even when they're fun ones. It's super annoying like that. So instead of waking up and immediately going to play Pokémon like a sane person, instead I floundered around for an hour or two, doomscrolling (or hopequesting? I've heard it referred to like that) uselessly.

…Truth be told, I keep looking for any news about you. I keep looking for any indication that you'll be safe. I'm worried about you almost all the time, and the fact that there's nothing I can do to help you besides write these silly letters is more painful than I know how to describe.

Oh well. Today I supposed that if I wanna rest properly, I've gotta let my brain flounder around from time to time without putting pressure on it to do something else. And that's kinda hard to do. It feels like I'm wasting time when I get stuck in that kind of mental paralysis. But if I beat myself up over it, that's just gonna make it worse. So I tried to go with the flow without worrying too terribly much about what the "correct" way to spend my time looks like.

I can't help but wonder if you ever struggle with any of what I've described. Hm.

In the end, I was able to play Pokémon for a little bit. And then M woke up and wanted to play Core Keeper together with me, and that was lovely. I built a huge, sprawling garden that waters itself and grows lots of tasty food! It's almost like Terraria, except it's from a top-down perspective instead of a side-scrolling perspective. It's still in early access, but it's still a lot of fun for a game that isn't finished cooking yet! I'm eager to see how this one develops!

Sometime after that, I had company over. The same friend who made me aware that the pumpkin soup needed more umami came over with her lovely son. They've been having a hard time lately, and it came to a head recently with something very serious. So they came to my house for support, advice, and refuge from the stress for a little while. We made sure to feed them good food and provide a space in which they don't have to feel pressured to exist in a particular way. My friend's son showed me his wonderful sketchbook and all of the awesome pictures he took on his phone; it was beautiful! As I'm writing this, my friend's son is at ease playing some video game on our TV, and my friend is out on a walk with J; I hope they're having a wonderful time!

My friend is having a bit of a hard time trying not to beat herself up over the way things turned out, as well as for the fact that neither she nor her situation are perfect. So I decided to give her the bowl I repaired, after explaining to her the context of what it means. I'm hoping that she'll put it in a spot in her house where she can see it regularly, so that she can be reminded that we are at our most beautiful when we do the work to turn our imperfections into strengths, and that beating ourselves up is counterproductive. The bowl will do the most good where it can remind someone of their humanity. I hope she will eat lots of wonderful and tasty soup from this bowl, and from it, remember to be gentle with herself.

I like that my house is a place where the people in my social circle feel is safe to go when they're having trouble. My life before was very weird, turbulent, and unsafe, but… now I have a house that is wholesome and safe. I know that I still have a very long way to go before I'm as "healed" as I'd like to be, but… I like to think it means I'm doing some things right at least some of the time. I feel very privileged to be in a position where I am trusted this much by the people who know me well.

I wish you could visit over here, too. Impossible, I know. But… you would be safe here. You wouldn't have to pretend to be someone you're not while you're in my house. You would not be pressured to interact with anyone if you didn't want to. No one would ogle you. No one would be demanding pictures or autographs. There would be only wholesome food, good tea, comfy places to sleep, and lots of fun and awesome things to do. You can just be you. Because my house is a safe place of rest for those who need it.

Hey, Sephiroth? Please keep yourself safe out there at the Edge of Creation, okay? Make good choices, and take good care of yourself. It might be impossible for you to ever visit my house, but you can build your own house with your own two hands, and you can build it up into something that is wholesome and safe, no matter how weird things have been for you in the past or even in the present, especially if you ask for help from kind, loving, and healthy people to make it happen.

Remember that you are loved. I'll write to you again soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[notsuchacleverboyq]

00Q Prompt

Q is struggling with his period and James tries to help.

Trans!Q (obviously) and a lot of cuddles.

Request (kinda) from @amrtiamat and @gayshipsandanxiety

It was something I had already planned and left in my drafts because I didn't like it. So, I decided to change it but keeping the original idea.

Bond hated Q's stubbornness.

It was one of his better traits (at times) and the agent obviously had a thing for it, but when Q was refusing to leave work early because of his health it was just surprisingly annoying.

His period was giving him an hard time that day, forcing the quartermaster to lock himself in his office (in fear of MI6 staff asking questions he wasn't comfortable with) in a state in which he was unable to sit with decent posture due to the pain.

Bond had tried for an hour to convince Q to leave the place (and actually succeeded in the end); he knew that period cramps were making his lover more exhausted than he showed, and that the next day wasn't going to be better either.

Thus, Q had been forced home by Bond, any attempt of getting to work strictly forbidden.

The quartermaster was half laying on the sofa, wrapped in a huge blanket, while the agent walked out of the kitchen with a cup of Earl Grey.

- Thanks - Q muttered, not upset (not anymore) as his tone let to understand, but simply left lightheaded by the pain.

As the young man took the cup, Bond sat down next to him and pulled Q's legs onto his lap, caressing his knees.

- How do you feel? - the agent asked.

- I take the liberty of not replying - Q answered, sipping from his cup with a sigh.

Bond looked at his lover helplessly, wishing he had any clue about how to help.

There was always more than pain and cramps during Q's periods: in those days, all of his struggles came to light and James was able to see them in his eyes, not managing to carry the weight of Q's discomfort; he couldn't take the struggle away, just distract his lover from it and he hated feeling that helpless.

- Would you like another pill? - Bond asked and Q immediately shook his head.

- They're not quite working - he admitted.

The agent found himself humming in response, making a grimace in sympathy as Q gave a groan (likely due to pain increasing).

Trying to come up with a solution and ignoring another groan, Bond shifted on the sofa so that he could hold the quartermaster in his arms, attempting to comforting in any way possible.

He was extraneous to period cramps, which was counterproductive at the moment, but he wasn't extraneous to muscles pain; he knew that period cramps were caused by muscles stretching, so Q needed help relaxing.

- Wait a moment, sweetheart - Bond softly said before sliding away from Q and getting up.

There was only a grumble from the quartermaster as the agent headed for the kitchen, immediately taking out a pot in order to warm up some water.

- What are you doing? - Q asked from the livingroom.

- It's a surprise - Bond answered and chuckled as the young man mumbled something under his breath, with an irritated tone of voice.

As soon as the water had reached the right temperature, the agent poured it into an hot water bag.

- Would you like any chocolate? - Bond answered and took the package of sweets at Q's resulting grumbled.

The quartermaster was curled up on himself, the tea abandoned on the coffee table, when James came back. The agent gently tried to unwrap Q from the blanket, but he only held the cloth tighter.

- Nope - he grumbled and Bond had to hold back a chuckle.

- I have a surprise - the agent said and showed Q the bag.

As the quartermaster started collaborating, James was finally able to move the blanket from Q's chest and to rest the bag on Q's lower belly, before he eventually wrapped him back in the blanket.

With a happy sigh, the quartermaster closed his eyes, visibly more relaxed; he didn't even grumble as Bond moved him in order to be able to hold him in his arms.

- This is the best idea you've ever had - Q murmured, snuggling happily against James' chest.

- You're welcome - Bond replied, smiling softly as he noticed the relief in Q's expression.

Taking the package again, James brought a piece of chocolate to Q's lips, who frowned for a moment before eventually catching the sweet from the agent's fingers.

It went like that for a while: Q eating piece after piece while James tenderly held him and took care of him.

As the minutes passed, Bond could feel the young man relaxing more and more; feeling like Q was about to fall asleep, the agent set the chocolate apart and ran a hand into his lover's hair, trying and soothing him to sleep.

Q gave a content groan as he hid his face in the crook of James' neck, breathing calmly against his skin and exhaling a happy sigh before it was obvious that he had in fact fallen asleep.

Bond looked at Q's calm and relaxed expression, gently caressing his cheek as he leaned to kiss his forehead, knowing that, finally, he was not in pain anymore. Not daring to move, the agent kept holding Q tight, listening to his calm and sleepy breath.

Writing this on the first day of period is another level of pain.

Anyway, I hope it's not shitty (I'm honestly not really satisfied with this).