#rinse and repeat is so good why don't more people listen to them

[denizenhardwick]

Dusty's Low-Effort Shiny Hunting Guide for Pokemon: Legends Arceus

Hello! I got PLA for Christmas and have already filled an entire box up with shinies, so I figured, I'm pretty much an expert at this point, so why not share some tips? (That's a joke. I'm not a professional shiny hunter, I just love this game a lot.)

Disclaimer: If you are looking to hunt a specific Pokemon, this method is not for you. This is for people who don't have the patience for normal shiny hunting methods but still like shinies. Or just people who want a lot of shinies and don't care which ones.

Without further ado, let's go!

Step 1: Complete your Pokedex and unlock Massive Mass Outbreaks. You could probably use this method without completing the Pokedex, but I cannot guarantee the results would be as good without the boost. You don't need the Shiny Charm (I don't have it (probably)) and you don't need Perfect entries, but getting to research level 10 on every Pokemon seems to boost your odds enormously on its own.

Step 2: Ready your party. I have a strong core of three level 100s (Samurott, Gastrodon, and Infernape), but I don't think that's necessary. What you need is coverage, strength, and PP. Preferably, you should be able to one-shot most Pokemon you encounter, tank a lot of hits, and have enough PP on your moves that you only rarely have to heal mid-excursion (though it isn't too terrible if you have to heal every once in a while).

Step 3: Start going to Massive Mass Outbreaks. Hop on Braviary and hit up every outbreak in the region, keeping your eyes peeled. There will be four spawns in each outbreak; if there's a shiny, catch it and then check if the new spawn is shiny. If there's no shiny, move on. The goal is to briefly look at every outbreak in the area before the rainstorm/blizzard ends to see if any of the initial spawns are shiny.

If there's a Pokemon you really like, or you want to check the secondary horde, you can clear out the whole outbreak, which is where your team comes in. Frankly, I don't know if the timer keeps going while you're in battle, but still, I recommend fighting and knocking out the Pokemon as fast as you can, or just scaring them off if they're timid. Then you can check the new horde, check for shinies and leave, or clear it out, too.

Fast travel when possible. Go to one place, check the outbreaks in the area, then don't waste time flying halfway across the map to the next outbreak if there's a spot you can instantly travel to near it. You'll learn the best routes for each region the more you do this; some sections are best taken on Wyrdeer or Sneasler, so don't be afraid to switch your ride when you need to.

Step 4: After you've checked every outbreak and cleared out any you're particularly interested in or the rainstorm/blizzard has ended, head back to Jubilife.

Step 5: Rinse and repeat! That's it, that's the strategy, just do this over and over again. Sometimes, you won't get any shinies. Sometimes, you'll get multiple from the same MMO, or even the same mass outbreak. I listen to YouTube videos while doing this so I don't get bored, which means I have to keep my eyes especially peeled for the visual shiny cue, but I haven't had a problem. Having Smoke Balls on-hand is useful for shinies that might flee if they see you, and always save as soon as you see a shiny, before doing anything else! If you fail one, you can just reset and they'll still be there.

I've gotten a ton of shinies this way, and I hope it works for you, too! :D

[the-vault-apprentice]

Tags from @sky-sogira

*cracks knuckles*

Alright. Let's get into this. My faith may not be as strong as it once was, but my knowledge is unshakable.

Disclaimer: I am not a scholar, I am not a theologist, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I LOVE Sky.

Second disclaimer: I am not trying to preach to anyone, just put in my perspective as someone who grew up in Christianity.

So! The easy one. Lucifer was actually NOT really the devil's name first- Lucifer was the name of a minor Roman god. The god of the morning star, which shines very brightly. The name "Lucifer" MEANS "Bringer of light" and is the base for the names of the chemicals that make fireflies glow- Lucifern and Lucifrase? I probably spelled them wrong. When the Bible was being standardized, they took this name to show that Satan had once been both powerful and beloved, at least.... That's how my father told it. He was wrong about a LOT of things, so take that with a grain of salt. What IS certain fact is that Lucifer means "bringer of light" and WAS a Roman god of the morning star. This I am sure of.

Sky takes design elements from MANY sources, but the story is undoubtedly biblical. And that really shouldn't be a surprise, given that the bible is really freaking old and has quite a lot of stuff in it! Like.... A LOT of stuff and some of it doesn't make any sense at all. I mean, there was a law about if a thief got away before the sunrise, it was their stuff now or something? It's been a while since I read those particular verses, forgive my casualness but it's 7 am and I'm doing this off the top of my head while getting ready for the day.

Okay. Take a breath. You still with me? Good. Because I'm about to basically speedrun not only the bible, but my church's scripture as well- The Book of Morm-n.

I am censoring it because I have the name blacklisted after seeing so much hate and ignorance and straight-up MALICE on this website, so if you reblog this, PLEASE don't actually spell it out or I will not be able to view the post. Thank you.

So God (by whatever name you'd like) has his "chosen people". He helps and strengthens them and shows them miracles, yes? And as long as they listen to Him, they are blessed. Seems like a good deal to ME, but you know how it is with humans. Give them too much success and they get cocky. Turn their backs on God and start giving THEMSELVES the credit- Which.... Doesn't sit too well. Consequently, they lose His favor and his help until they humble themselves and realize it WAS thanks to Him they were able to get this far. Rinse and repeat for a few thousand years or so.

Basically, God is HAPPY to help out as long as you don't forget He IS helping. But humans are forgetful and they eventually fall away and need to learn they need His help. We call it the Pride Cycle in my church, and it IS a cycle. You see it over and over again.

Now, if we draw parallels and look at Megabird as "God" and perhaps Resh as "Satan", more things click.

Whatever happened in Eden was BIG. Like major ultimate, plain apocalyptic. And now the cycle of the spirits returning to Megabird can't continue because SOMEBODY had to mess it up with something more powerful than simple indifference. This wasn't just the ancestors turning their backs on Megabird, this was them PHYSICALLY UNABLE to return to the light because of the darkness.

And that's why Skykids were created. To do what they no longer could.

Now, then, if- As I believe- Resh is the king and Alef is the prince and they are not the same, then it also seems likely that Alef was the FIRST Skykid. Like an olive branch from Megabird- "I want you to come back. Please don't go further. There IS a way back, and I will give it to you."

To continue the comparison, it would be appropriate to compare Alef to Christ in this sense- The sense of being "firstborn", of being a PRINCE rather than a king.

And all the other Skykids ALSO fit this comparison because of the fact we lose our light and life so the spirits can go home.

But UNLIKE what is taught in Christianity, it is not a PERMANENT saving, evidenced by the fact that the spirits- and the Skykids- RETURN to the world. It is also possible that Alef was sent BEFORE the fall of Eden as a warning almost- Telling Resh all was not yet lost and he could STOP and be forgiven still.

But Satan's crime was pride and I believe it is the same with Resh. They want the power and the glory and the credit that rightly belongs to another- The being which MADE them. So of course he would not have stopped.

Of course, the Ark, Eden's name... There are other parallels to be made, and this is all just speculation from me based on what I think.

[ourimpavidheroine]

Do you really not read any Wuko fic? That seems very strange.

I don't think it's that strange. I mean, that might just be me! But part of the reason I wrote Penmanship 7 (!) years ago is because there were only a bare handful of fic about them, and about 90% of it was poorly written. I wanted to do better.

Does that mean that everyone loves my fic? No, of course not. (Trust me, I am aware.) But here's the thing with me, with fanfic: I want it to be well-written and I want it to be true to the characters and the universe it's taken from. That's just my preference. There was a huge wave of "Wuko Nation" fanfic that came out a year or so ago when Netflix got the rights to the show and with very rare exception they are Harlequin Romance fanfics.

By Harlequin Romance I am referring to these old school romance novels which were essentially the exact same thing, over and over again. The characters were given new names, new looks and the setting changed but the characters and the plot were exactly the same thing. Arrogant Rake (insert highfaluting English nobility title here) with some sort of Tragic Backstory meets a Spirited But Beautiful English miss (could be nobility herself or could be the governess, depending on the trope) and they flirt until he has her virginity (which is always glorious instead of awkward) and then he insists he will marry her and something dramatic happens where he must rescue her and after that his magic dick means that the spirited young miss stops being spirited but rather becomes wholly submissive to the rake of a husband who is still arrogant but of course immediately stops being a rake and who will never hare off and fuck around ever again because He Is Reformed.

There you go.

And listen, those books are WILDLY popular! This is not me dissing on a formula that clearly really works for so many people. But there is nothing original in them. Give the heroine red hair instead of brunette and make the tragic backstory that the Duke's first wife died instead of a fight with his father that sent him abroad until his father died and you have a whole new book. And so on and so forth, lather rinse repeat.

There's a HUGELY popular Wuko fanfic out there, the most popular ever, that is 100% a Harlequin Romance fanfic. Mako and Wu are wildly out of character, there's no more than a nod to the universe setting and it's just trope after trope after trope. I tried to read it and I couldn't even make it a quarter of the way through. What was the point? I read Wuko fic because I love the Avatar Universe, deeply, and I love those characters. If they are not actually being represented in the fic then why bother? Because there are sex scenes that read like they were copy-pasted from every other gay sex scene in any other fandom?

Listen, I love good smut as much as the next person. I don't write it in my Wuko fic not because I dislike it but because I was writing through the aftermath of my wife dying and I wasn't feeling up to it. I am not morally opposed or part of the whole purity horseshit, I was just going through mad grief and wasn't ready to write that. Sure, I could have copy-pasted a gay sex scene but that's not the writer I want to be. So.

Part of what makes sex scenes in fanfic hot for me is it being an exploration of what the characters themselves are doing and feeling. What is the character feeling? How does it tie into the universe it's coming from? My Mako and Wu have Their Thing with the nailguards because that's a thing that comes from Wu's world (his great-aunt, modeled after Dowager Empress Cixi, wore them) and because my Wu likes to get his King On in the bedroom and my Mako trusts Wu enough that he can feel safe in that submission. There's a reason for it, there's canonical justification in it, and I made sure that readers would know what the characters were feeling about it all.

Copy-pasted gay sex scenes don't do that. And look, I get that smut is smut and that a lot of readers just want to read that copy-pasted stuff and that's enough to get them off, they don't actually care or want the canon or the characterizations. And again, that's cool. But it's so vanilla to me personally and I can't do it, either as a reader or a writer.

(And let me tell you, as someone who was actively involved in both polyamory as well as the kink scene, 99% of writing about that kind of thing is being written by people who have no actual experience in that area. TRUST ME.)

It's the same with Lin and Kya. I am not morally opposed to middle-aged lesbians/pansexuals; I myself am one of them. I have yet to read a fic, however, that actually explores why these two particular women in this particular world would work well as a couple. It's just Harlequin Romance lesbianism.

It doesn't have to be my ships, either. One of my favorite fanfic writers, Satomobile, writes fic where Lin ends up with someone who isn't LoLo and frankly, I love it. (It comes highly recommended by me, btw. All of it. She’s a great writer.) Amazing characterization, fantastic exploration of the Avatar universe, etc. And Lin is sometimes with Tenzin and sometimes with an OC and it's top notch stuff. (Although I don't get onboard with the Pema hate! No! Not Pema! 😂)

And like I said, this is just personal preference. I don't expect that everyone agrees with me; in fact, I know they don't. But you did ask why I, personally, don't read much Wuko fic, and that's why. I am wholly uninterested in Harlequin Romance Wuko and that's what most of it is. Not all of it! But the vast majority of it.

[rafaelblackbird15]

Teen Wolf Fic Recs Part 2: Steter

It took me quite awhile to gather all these together, so please enjoy discovering more parts to the incredible world of Teen Wolf, provided to you by the wonderful writers of our fandom.

Leave comments and kudos for these writers if you can, they really deserve it, they're wonderful. And it's my honour to try and share their creations with tumblr.

These are Steter, Stiles Stilinski/Peter Hale fanfictions. Read them at your will. Check the tags on the actual fics for warnings and such.

I have included links to authors that write a lot of Steter as well, and some of their fics for examples. I'm sorry this post got so long, haha, but enjoy the stories, they're worth it.

If any of the links don't work, just comment and I'll fix it.

Check out my other Sterek fic recs [Part 3] and [Part 4] and Steter fic recs [Part 1]

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Broken Bones and Broken Bonds by twothumbsandnostakeincanon(somanyofthekids) on Archive of Our Own

Words: 20148

Chapters: 4/?

Summary:

Stiles kind of wished that he’d at least tried weed before this. 

Or something, you know? Maybe taken up a graffiti hobby, or even just skateboarded in front of City Hall often enough to get a citation. 

He wished he’d done something to be deserving of the looks people gave him now, rather than just being the recipient of his dead father’s unused power. 

**********

Stigmata by twothumbsandnostakeincanon (somanyofthekids) on Archive of Our Own

Words: 1661

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

He feels so hollow that he almost wonders if he's been turned inside out. This emptiness he feels; is it the vastness of the entire world?

How do you fill a world? With people, he supposes. But his people no longer want him.

He needs people.

*********

Beefcake Mountain by twothumbsandnostakeincanon(somanyofthekids) on Archive of Our Own

Words: 14565

Chapters: 7/7

Summary:

Shortly after moving back to Beacon Hills, the left hand of the Hale Pack opened a text from a mysterious number.

"Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them."

What the f—

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Steter Week 2019 by twothumbsandnostakeincanon(somanyofthekids)

Works: 4

Complete: No

Summary:

There isn't a summary listed so I've included the first fic underneath:

Marvelous Miss and Magnificent Mischief by twothumbsandnostakeincanon(somanyofthekids)

Words: 3346

Chapters: 1/1

also Part 1 of the Magnificent Mischief series

Summary:

“Marvelous Miss and the Magnificent Mischief!” the carnival barker shouted just outside the corridor with all the food tents. “Come see Miss Paige do amazing tricks with her talking raven! He not only speaks, but he jokes! He teases! He philosophizes!”

********

Author: twothumbsandnostakeincanon(somanyofthekids)

This author has a lot of wonderful Steter fics, and their writing of the pairing is really worth having a good look through.

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Blood Runs Cold by Smalls2233 on Archive of Our Own

Words: 111408

Chapters: 22/22

Summary:

“So then why are we letting Scott and Derek search for it if you know it's useless?”

Peter looked down at Stiles and cocked his head with a grin. “Because I think seeing my nephew and your best friend run around like headless chickens while I think up a plan is hysterical.”

“And the plan is…?”

----

Trusting Peter Hale is something that Stiles had repeatedly told himself to never do. He had seen first hand the results of Peter's plans and schemes, but when a shadow began tormenting Beacon Hills, he found that sometimes he'd have to to play along with Peter's games.

This story does include a dose of Chris&Stiles interaction about midway and carries on throughout, and then Chris/Peter towards the midend, which also carries on. And it kind of dissolves into Chris/Peter/Stiles. If that's not your taste, that's fine, because the majority of the story is Stiles/Peter, and that majority is really really good Steter.

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No One Listening Tonight by Smalls2233

Words: 6985

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

That left… well it left Peter and only Peter. Relying on Peter for help was only slightly better than stabbing himself through the eye with a hot poker. But desperate times called for desperate measures.

Of course, there was always the option of packing up and letting whatever was trying to destroy the town succeed this time. Stiles snorted under his breath as he thought about how that would probably leave him with fewer injuries than dealing with Peter would. But unfortunately, that wasn’t an option. Stiles knew he needed to head downtown to Peter’s apartment and pray the man was willing to work with him.

----

Stiles stumbles into a magical trap forged by a wannabe warlock.

*********

Author: Smalls2233

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Blue by Wynnebat on Archive of Our Own

Words: 3179

Chapters: 2/2

Summary:

Derek brings both Scott and Stiles to the hospital to prove a point about hunters, but Stiles isn’t sure the point he’s getting is the point Derek’s trying to make. Especially when his black and white world explodes into color the moment he looks into Peter Hale’s eyes.

*********

The Long Way Around by Wynnebat on Archive of Our Own

Words: 15569

Chapters: 3/3

Summary:

When Peter leaves Beacon Hills for good, he expects that to be it for the broken bonds of the last remaining members of the Hale pack. Fate and Stiles Stilinski aren’t of the same opinion.

**********

Prowl by Wynnebat on Archive of Our Own

Words: 3454

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

Laura's body is never found, but instead of continuing with his murder spree, Peter gets distracted by the scent of his mate. Stiles gets very distracted by the huge wolf that starts showing up at his house all the time.

**********

Author: Wynnebat

This author writes some really interesting, deep stories about Steter that are really beautiful.

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your last white lie (everything is not alright) by snowdarkred on Archive of Our Own

Words: 4023

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

Stiles says yes, and things go downhill from there.

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reflect by snowdarkred on Archive of Our Own

Words: 569

Chapters: 1/1

Part 1 of the dig your teeth in and tear until you taste (peter/stiles oneshots) series

Summary:

(previously posted to tumblr)

When he dreams, he can sometimes still hear his mother’s voice, explaining it to him: Reflections are the price we pay for what we are.

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sentire by snowdarkred on Archive of Our Own

Words: 1027

Chapters: 1/1

Part 2 of the dig your teeth in and tear until you taste (peter/stiles oneshots) series

Summary:

[to feel]

Stiles hears the whisper of death before it strikes.

**********

Author:

snowdarkred

This author writes some really intense, interesting stories about Peter and Stiles. Not as long as some fics are, but they're really good adaptions of Steter with a lot of feeling.

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The Striking Complication by aurevell on Archive of Our Own

Words: 27235

Chapters: 4/15

Summary:

The smile slips off Stiles’s face. “Hey, um. Why am I here?” he asks, voice unsteady. “I’m—I have this weird feeling like I shouldn’t leave you. I’ve felt all day like...” He can’t finish the thought.

Peter looks as surprised as Stiles feels. A strange expression passes over his face, there and gone before Stiles can decipher it.

Stiles snaps awake each morning with the sense that he’s missing something. Weirder still, he can’t wrap his head around his sudden, inexplicable trust in Peter Hale, who seems to know way more than he’s letting on. Nor can he guess why a half-remembered nightmare seems to haunt his every move.

Rinse and repeat. Because time loops suck, apparently.

*******

Author: aurevell

This author has 11 Teen Wolf fics under their belt. 5 Sterek and 6 Steter. Happy rummaging!

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the teeth right down to the blood by sazzafraz on Archive of Our Own

Words: 2133

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

‘We’re pretty fucked right now.’ Scott says. Stiles doesn’t speak but there’s something singing in his bones that says Scott got the message anyway. (In which both are bit and things are gruesome.)

This has a sprinkling of Scott/Stiles, Scott/Stiles/Peter, and Scott/Allison as well as Steter, but it's worth the read, a good story with an interesting concept.

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Author: sazzafraz

This author doesn't have that many Steter stories, although they do have a few. Although they do have some pretty lengthy Teen Wolf fics about other characters of the show.

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Everything goes (wow) by midmorning_bomb on Archive of Our Own

Words: 8215

Chapters: 5/5

Part 1 of the Aranea & Babewolf series

Summary:

It was supposed to go like this:

1. Peter summons demon to the circle.

2. Demon remains in said circle until Peter outlines their contract.

3. Demon agrees to elegantly crafted contract, becoming loyally bound to Peter and Peter alone.

Instead, the creature steps casually out of the circle, tosses its things onto the leather sofa, and starts immediately meddling in Peter’s immaculate space, touching all of Peter’s very expensive things.

*********

It's only by midmorning_bomb on Archive of Our Own

Words: 2905

Chapters: 3/5

Part 2 of the Aranea & Babewolf series

Summary:

“Darling, please don’t pout.”

“You’re pouting.” Stiles pouts, from the upper corner of the library, everything from his hip bones down an angry mass of hissing fangs and venomous chelicerae. “Why would we ever go back to that garbage town? Everyone there is the worst, the only good thing is the very rad and awesome curse I laid.”

*********

You are a memory by midmorning_bomb on Archive of Our Own

Words: 900

Chapters: 1/1

Part 2 of the Little glimpse series

Summary:

If he has to bleed to breathe warmth back into Peter’s icy body, he will.

Because Peter’s done the same for him.

********

Author: midmorning_bomb

This author has 16 Steter fics. A little unfriendly to some of the other characters, but it's only kind of obvious because it's not subtle about it, and not exactly underserved. Has some really interesting ideas as well as some kind, well developed Steter. Definitely have a read through.

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[miss-dr-reid]

This is calm, and it's, Doctor #10

Warning: mention of penis, but no touchy touchy of anything like that

My house keys were on the same keychain as my car keys. I told Spencer which one was for the front door, and he opened it, letting me in first. I walked in and started my 'getting home routine'.

"Hey google, I'm home." I said, smirking at Spencer.

All of the lights in my lounge room and kitchen came on and music started playing in the background. My house wasn't anything fancy, so I enjoyed little upgrades where I could get them. Spencer looked up from what he was doing, to see everything in action, his mouth slightly agape. He finished closing the door, ensuring that it was locked before finally coming inside to look around. I showed him around the basic parts of my house.

Firstly the kitchen, which was to the left of my front door,

"Feel free to get yourself a drink or anything you like while you're here." I told him, gesturing toward the fridge and cupboards, continuing my tour of the house. next was the living room, and then into the hallway where the bedrooms and bathroom reside. Once we had reached the bathroom, I realised that I was desperate for a shower.

"I'm gonna have a shower, and then we can put some aloe gel on our burns." I told him, walking into the bathroom with a towel in my hand. Spencer followed me in,

"You know, you really don't have to-"

"I told you, I would look after you That's also been the job assigned to me, so it's what I'm going to do." he interrupted.

"What are you gonna do, shower with me?!" I laughed.

"If I have to!" the comeback was unexpected, and suddenly, there were butterflies in my stomach at the thought of he and I being naked together - showering together.

I told him to sit on the toilet if he insisted on not leaving my side and he did. I hopped into the shower - still fully dressed- and closed over the curtain. I undressed, throwing y clothes over the top of the glass walls, hearing the soft 'flop' as they hit the ground. Turning on the shower, I realised that Spencer probably needed a shower, too.

"You haven't showered yet, either..." I called over to him, peaking through a gap I made in the curtain, and his head tilted up to look at me, "You're welcome to join me. At least you'll be right here if anything happens." my tone was more suggestive than I had intended, but I ran with it. Spencer stood up almost immediately,

"Would that be alright with you?" his question came out fast, and I nodded.

"Yes, Doctor, that's fine with me." I said, looking at him. His nose and cheeks were red, his hair frizzy from the excitement of the day, and his skin dry from the salt water.

I popped my head back into the shower, closing the curtain over once again, and he got undressed. once he was done, the shower curtain opened and he stepped in. I took the brief moment that he was looking at the ground, to look him up and down, my eyes growing wide when they landed on the place below his belly button. He had finally made it all the way in, and I stepped back, snapping my eyes away from his body and up to his face. He laid his head back into the stream of the shower, rinsing his head, droplets rolling down his face as he did so. His long fingers ran through his hair, ensuring all of it was wet, the veins in his forearms, protruding through his skin - from being dehydrated, I assumed.

He turned to face the stream one his hair was wet, and started rubbing his face and chest. I looked over his body once again, admiring the length of him. His back was long and toned. as my eyes traveled down his body, I noticed a scar just above his knee. Before I could return my eyes back up to his head to ask about the scar he turned around, and everything was on display. I suddenly stopped, my eyes growing wide again and my mind filling with thoughts that no one should have about a co-worker. I snapped my eyes back up to his head, my finger pointed out toward his leg.

"I got shot." he said, looking down at the scar continuing to explain about how he got shot, he suddenly stopped when he noticed all I was doing was nodding. "Are you okay?"

Honestly, I was just trying hard to get the thought out of my head, thoughts of him naked. even though, I didn't have to think about it, he was right there,

"Yeah, I..." I hesitated which only made him more concerned, "Look, you've got a really nice body." I said to him, trying to redirect my attention anywhere but there.

"That's not what's bothering you, please tell me what's wrong." he pressed, and I couldn't take it anymore.

"Spencer, your penis is quite big." I said as quick as I could while focusing my eyes on the shower wall.

"Oh... Well the average size of a penis in the US is approximately three point six one inches while flaccid, with an erection they are approximately five point one six inches. Mine is slightly bigger than aver-"

"Spencer, you don't have to say anything. I shouldn't have been looking in the first place." I interjected. Even though I loved to listen to him list of facts, this was one I didn't need to know. I got out of the shower not long after that, I had made things awkward by saying what I did. I got out and grabbed my towel off the rack. barely wrapping it around myself before heading to my bedroom.

I sat on the edge of my bed, my towel coming slightly unwrapped on my back. My head fell into my hands and I sighed.

"Why do I have to be so awkward?" I whispered to my self, "Idiot!"

"Y/N.." Spencer's voice called from the door and my head snapped up to see him standing there, towel around his waist, "you're not an idiot. If you don't want to do anything like that again, we don't have to. I accepted your offer, not only because I really needed a shower, but because I wanted to be close to you, too." his voice was soft and sincere.

I looked over his body, his hair had been pushed back out of the way, a few stray droplets falling down his face. As well as the few stray droplets falling down his body and being soaked up by the towel. My eyes made their way back up to his beautiful chocolate browns, they were staring at me, looking for some type of answer.

"Spencer... I want to be close to you, too. I don't want anything bad to happen, because I like you Spencer. I really like you." My voice cracked slightly at the thought of losing Spencer. It was silly to be feeling this way, we haven't even known each other that long.

He walked over to me and cupped my face in his hands - forcing me to look into his eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere, I'll be right here whenever you need me." his words were soft, but firm. Tears brimmed my eyes and soon started rolling down my cheeks. I was pulled into a hug, and Spencer stood up, taking me with him, my arms around his neck, my legs around his waist. I buried my face in his neck as I started sobbing.

He held me there until my body had calmed, his arms were holding me so close against him. I pulled back, looking him in the eyes, keeping my hands on his shoulders. His eyes were tinged red, and tears were welling on his lower lash line.

"Don't cry for me Spencer, please..." I pleased softly, the sight breaking my heart. He tried to blink it away, but it fell down his cheek instead. I wiped it with my thumb, "Thank you for being here."

He didn't say anything else, only pulled me back into him. we were tangled together once again and I wanted to stay there forever.

Alas, it was not to be, He soon enough puled back once again, bringing once hand to the back of my head and guiding my head toward his own, only to kiss me on the forehead before putting me back onto my bed. My legs had managed to undo his towel, as it fell once I was detached from his body, my own towel following suit.

I grabbed my own towel, averting my gaze from his while he scrambled to catch his before it hit the ground. I let out a small laugh, which caused Spencer to laugh, too. It was good to see a smile on his face.

Spencer left to go get a new change of clothes and I pulled out a nightie from one of my drawers. This nightie is one of my favourites, the soft flowing material, lined with lace. It hugged in all the right places and flowed everywhere else. I slipped it on, throwing my towel on top of my drawers and headed for the kitchen.

I made my way to the fridge, bopping along with the music that was still playing in the background, and opened it. My eyes landed on the bright orange bottle of Sunkist, Ironic, I thought to myself as I grabbed it. I shut the fridge as Spencer was making his way into the kitchen, and I offered him a drink. I grabbed out two glasses, set them on the bench and poured, finally sliding his glass over the bench to him.

"So, what brings you here?" I asked him, trying to make any sort of conversation happen.

"I am here, looking after you - like I was told." he said, seeming genuinely confused on why I would ask that question.

"Spence, I - I was just trying to make small talk." I told him, and he admitted he was not very good at small talk. He didn't really understand the point, when there are so many other things to talk about. Fun new things to learn, he didn't understand why small talk was even a thing people did.

I was interested to learn new things, always up for a challenge to test my brain. Spencer was extremely happy to tell me fun facts, while he did repeat a few things I had heard before, I never stopped him, instead asking more in-depth questions about certain things that really intrigued me. He was so happy to be talking, after being cut off so often by everyone else, I would never have the heart to tell him to stop. But all good things must come to and end.

Soon, my back started hurting and the yawns escaping me, came at closer and closer intervals. I looked at the time displayed on my microwave 0124 it read.

"We should probably go to bed, Spence." while he was sighing contently a himself after finishing another fun fact. We had ended up on the lounge, opposite ends from each other, our legs tangled together. "Are you coming?" I said getting up from the lounge, looking down at him.

"I didn't think you'd want me to be in bed with you." he was taken aback at my proposal and there was no way he could hide the sight excitement in his eyes.

"Don't be silly, come on." I said, tapping his shoulder as I walked past him and down the hallway, gesturing for him to follow when he hesitated.

I made it to my room and climbed into bed, getting under the covers. I called out for google that it was bedtime, and the lights turned off and the music was replaced with Rain sounds. Spencer was climbing into bed as I was pulling up the covers. I laid my head on my pillow, laying on my side, facing him. He mirrored me, his head on the other pillow. I didn't want to close my eyes, I just wanted to stare at him, his features lit by the gentle moonlight seeping through the window.

He fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow, it was a sight to see. I had got so lost in thought, admiring him, I didn't realise I had scooted closer to him until he wrapped his arms around me. I smiled at myself, and fell asleep there. Safe in the arms of Spencer Reid.

[rpbetter]

what's the nicest possible way to tell a close friend their roleplay blogs suck and if they want followers and interaction like they keep complaining about they have to actually put effort into it instead of just making blog after blog and slapping a character on it like that's they need to do. I've tried to suggest this to her before by comparing other blogs that play her muse but she just feels inadequate instead of inspired to emulate them which I understand but it's very frustrating when I suggest a million ways to make her blog better and she brushes them all off for one reason or another and I don't want to say anything because she's like a sister to me. sigh.

Unfortunately, the short answer to this is that there really isn't any way you can make her see this unless she's ready to see it.

But, I don't like giving those sorts of answers, they feel hopeless and shitty, so, let's try this...

Understanding what the problem with your friend and her connecting with this information is, is important. It might help in talking to her about the issue.

What I find in these instances, and a lot of similar ones, is that the mun is unhappy about the results but quite happy with the process. She's enjoying some part of this, it's just not the lack of interaction, obviously. It's the very things she's doing to turn people off of her muses.

I think a lot of people get kind of addicted to new muses. I mean, the entire process of having a new muse:

interest to outright fixation, no matter how short-lived, in a new, inspiring muse

who is almost certainly in a new fandom, and probably, one that is very busy and popular at the moment

"someone stop me" phase, even though they've already decided

picking the perfect URL, creating the new blog, making the graphics and batches of icons

reblogging All The Content about the new muse, at least, the visual content and maybe, a couple of "oof, right in the feels" style short meta posts

plugging the new muse on the old blogs, through friends, etc.

mass follows

new mutuals! Shiny new meme asks in the inbox! New threads!

It's about the newness, the excitement, and the irrationally promising feeling that damn it, this time, the blog and muse is going to be successful, popular even, beloved, the actual favorite iteration of the character in the RPC. Like anything exciting, it's addicting for people. And like anything addicting, it can take hitting rock bottom and going several more feet down, a few times, before they're over it and want to change.

Which is, of course, where you come in with your as-yet failed RP interventions.

What makes what you're trying to do here very difficult is that there isn't a total bottoming out she's going to reach. There will always be something new and exciting coming out with a new and exciting muse that'll fix the problem, in her mind. There will always be the option and availability to create another blog, slap another muse on it, rinse and repeat. With shampoo and conditioner that never runs out.

You definitely had the right idea by trying to get her to contrast between why what she is doing isn't working the way she wants and why what someone else is doing is working out that way. It's just, as you found out, often not the best idea, no matter how well-intentioned it is. With her blogs constantly failing for reasons she refuses to believe, it's incredibly likely she's already done some comparison in all the wrong ways, ultimately going back and forth between blaming the other iterations, finding nothing but errors in the way they write the character and set up their blogs, and feeling depressed that she's not good enough, but they are.

So, you might have unintentionally inflamed all of this! She could be in a place where she's even more likely to believe that what she's doing is great as a defense mechanism for being hard on herself.

I'd also like to say that I'm aware the "right" advice here is, "there's nothing you can do, you'll just make her feel bad, people have a right to RP however they want." But, you're also her friend, and you have to be around the complaining and upset when this just keeps happening.

Furthermore, when we have very close friends like this, we automatically keep trying to fill in the gaps for them at cost to ourselves - every time they make another blog/muse, we get roped into writing things we know are just going to be dropped, making them things we know are going to left on a deserted blog, and so on. Eventually, it makes you feel bad about yourself because your efforts aren't good enough, either. It can really ruin the hobby for you, sucking away enjoyment and creativity you could be spending elsewhere.

I don't think you're wrong in trying to help both her and yourself.

Keep being honest with her. When she complains, be honest about why this is happening. And you can, indeed, be kind and honest!

Let's say that she says something about how she wrote all these opens and no one is going for them.

You could say something like, "that sucks. I liked this one, it's the one that feels and sounds like the character to me. What were you doing when you wrote that? You should rewrite the others to be a little more like that, I think people are looking for more of the character like we saw them in the series."

You're acknowledging that she's right, it does suck, it's a shitty feeling no matter how at fault for it she is. While pointing out something she did good (and, okay, maybe she didn't, maybe they all categorically sucked lol but find one that was even a tiny bit better/that has elements you can use to both boost her confidence and show her what is right, not just wrong). Then, giving her an idea - whatever she was thinking, watching, listening to at that time, she tapped into something more like the actual character, and she could do it again. And telling her what the problem is, at least with this, that people don't want a cardboard cutout muse, they want the one they like from the fandom book/show/movie.

No need to actually compare with another active mun and muse, or tell her that it's because what she's doing is terribly and driving you nuts. Even if both are true.

If she's the one that compares herself to another blog this time, seize the opportunity!

"Well, people like that the muse is developed and like the character they know. When you interact with another canon, don't you want them to be like the character you liked? You liked -current muse- for a reason. When I've felt like that, I reminded myself of why I was drawn to the character and worked harder on writing them accurately and getting their voice down. I think this other blog has done that and you haven't yet."

It's a little harsher, but she may very well only be looking for validation from you that this other blog actually sucks and she's doing great. A lot of complaints on tumblr are that - seeking validation, not help. The entire culture of that shit is not at all helpful. You don't want to try to sort of shock her out of it by being too harsh, but you do want to make it clear that you're not going to just give ass pats and tell her what she wants to hear.

You're telling her why this other blog is more successful, that the muse comes off as the character and is enjoyable to write with. Because the mun put in the effort to make them both accurate to the character and a muse that's fun/interesting/engaging to write with in RP.*

*Not all characters transfer over well to RP, either, and this might also be some of her problem. For whatever reason, some people are deeply drawn to the worst possible choices for them. They will find the least applicable character in a whole series, one with a billion characters that spans decades of material, plenty of viable options all around, but no, it's got to be this one. The one that's impossible for them to pull off, boring or disliked by the fandom, is incredibly difficult to interact with (think manic pixie bullshit, villains that are extreme loners, incredibly quiet and reserved characters, or those who are only ever seen in their canon to be bantering with friends and enemies - people they have established relationships with, unlike someone else's muse, even if that muse is a canonical friend or enemy), or is an active turn off in RP, like an outrageously overpowered character whose entire existence is based on being OP as fuck. That's going to be what they go for. Every. Damn. Time.

If you notice she's doing this, she could be compensating without even realizing it by turning the string of muses into identical and empty clichés she thinks people want to interact with, but that she can still handle writing. And unfortunately, your job is even harder, OP, because everyone has a character type...and your bestie's is Fucking Impossible to RP for 90% of the RPC Population Type lmao I'm...I'm so sorry.

Maybe if this is the case, you can get her to try out a different character that has some of the traits you've noticed she seems to always be drawn to, but without the complications. Work smarter, not harder, though! Propose this as you desperately wanting your muse to interact with x. Some people react very badly to being told "you'd write a great -muse name," others are flattered by it. If you don't know for certain that she'd be flattered, or at least not offended, that she doesn't hate this character or anything, do not say this. Just tell her that you love this character, you think she could handle them as a NPC in a thread, could she please try?

And make that the single most interesting thread in the history of threads. Specifically, for her. Give her tons of engagement with this NPC of the sort she tends to want the most. It might stick and reset some of her perspective on the types of characters she keeps choosing.

You're reminding her that she's a RPer, too, which sounds like a crazy thing to have to remind a RPer, but we do weirdly lose track of this. We get very invested in what we're putting out more than what we've successfully been given, especially when we're not being given much of what we want. So, you're prodding her to recall that there are two parts of this equation, she's been on the side of it - she's wanted to interact specifically with a canon muse because she loved the character/ship with hers/whatever, and has, as we all have, experienced both the disappointment of running through a ton of them who just are not that character and also finding the version that very much is.

This helps to put other people back into perspective in a way that isn't just "interactions." (Read as "desired attention." Which isn't a slam, it's true. It's also not a problem, we all are here to interact, we all enjoy having devoted mutuals and such. It's only a problem when we stop seeing them as anything other than a means to an end for ourselves.) She might be able to relate to them, thus, why they don't like her muses, if she can put herself back into their shoes.

You stick with that and transition it into why she picked the current muse. It's the same deal, there was something about the muse that sparked interest, creativity, etc. What was it? Something that isn't there, or there enough, in her writing. In all the excitement of muse-creation, she's probably let whatever it was slide right out the door. If you can get her to recall that feeling of interest and identify for herself what all triggered it, she might be able to stick with it.

And you've encouraged her again to give people what they want if she wants interactions by developing her muses. You've also done so, if it all applicable and true, by using yourself here, making it feel like not just a common problem, but one experienced and overcome by someone she cares about and trusts.

She might have an issue with needing a lot of high-interest, high-reward scenarios, too.

This is a high-effort, minimum reward situation for her. A lot of us in the RPC have shit like ADHD that can really make this difficult once we're experiencing it in this way, but even those who don't absolutely fall into it as well. So, you'll need ways to make it fun, but...I think if you can sort of kindly trick her into experiencing the effort as its own reward, it'd go a long, long way.

I can't really say what I do, having this problem with high-effort, minimal reward because I don't tend to experience that in RP. The writing is the reward for me, as much as I lose it utterly with happiness every time a writing partner is loving what I've given them. My reward system is set up around the writing and exploring characters. Hers seems to be set up around the reaction to it and amount of engagement with it. You need to try to use the latter to give her some of the former.

If she likes Halloween or Christmas, Fall or Winter, this could be your way into doing it!

Get her hyped about a seasonal prompt list you're doing. This does, yeah, mean you will have to do it, too lol but in the end, any time you aren't able to produce something daily like these lists usually are set up for, you're showing her that it isn't a job she's got to fulfill - the rules are only as strict as she wants to make them for herself. And if you keep yours short and fun, she'll feel like it's perfectly fine and good to do it this way as well. That it doesn't need to be a damn masterpiece or anything, just fun, something different to show off her muse.

While what she's actually doing, in addition to that, is getting in touch with and developing her muse. Importantly, when we write in a way that is just for ourselves like this, we tend to kind of...bond, for lack of a less weird sounding way of putting it, with a muse. It makes them stick with us longer, raising their importance and easier availability to us.

Let her know you're doing this, pick one out you genuinely like, and don't expect her to be down with it immediately. It's work with no foreseeable reward. Except, it's very hard to listen to our friends be excited, proud of themselves, enjoying themselves without wanting to join in. It'll be especially helpful, though, if you think people you interact with will like the posts and comment on them, or even try to turn them into threads if you include their muses (with their consent, of course, and no pressure). If she sees that, it might make it even more interesting to her. You might also have to pose this as her helping you out, that you don't think you'll get more than two done if she isn't doing it as well, as a sort of a challenge she can hold you to.

Whatever you think might work best for engaging her, you know her well, you can do it!

Be there to help her out with ideas if she goes for it. Throw out some easy, fun suggestions you think she might like, that even give her some opportunity to write something with her muse that she doesn't get a chance to. Pull from the muse's canon, is there something in their canon that goes with the prompt word "snow," for instance? Is it something she enjoyed about the canon story? Suggest it. Thinking about both the muse and your friend, is there something else that came to mind about that prompt you could suggest? Do it!

Again, whatever she's most into, it's an angle. Humor? Her serious muse is forced into a ridiculous, funny situation that involves the snow. Angst? A sad memory associated with the snow. Shipping? A romantic, fluffy scene (or steamy one). And so on.

Be there to express interest and encouragement while she's doing it. Don't do things that are going to come off as pressuring or helicopter moming her, of course! Like, asking how much she's gotten done, did she start working on it yet? That's a bad idea, unless she enjoys that sort of thing. Instead, tell her how much you can't wait to see this, ask about how it's going, tell her about yours to encourage her to talk about it.

And be there to be her audience when she posts it. This really seems to be her highest reward, so give it to her. Like the post, comment on the post, tell her in messages. Not individually, all of those things. If you can find a way to that doesn't mess up what you've got going on with your blog, mutuals, other friends, etc., mention it on your blog.

At this point, people might be both aware of her RP habits and wary of engaging with her, but someone might bite if you're enthused and go like the post. If it's applicable, make some jokes about it on the dash, turn it into a moment of inside joke-like crack for people to see. Mention that she wrote this and you loved it, link it or outright reblog her post. Hell, mention that you and her are doing such and such prompts for whatever holiday or season before the fact, that way, it doesn't come out of nowhere to your mutuals, either. Again, if applicable, you can ask to turn it into a thread.

The point, at this juncture, isn't to attract people to her blog and posts, it's to demonstrate to her that this is fun and rewarding. If you can get people to go like the posts, great, but you can only count on yourself to do it at first.

Most people enjoy those sorts of prompts on their dash from mutuals, though. You're always going to have some who feel like it's annoying because it wasn't strictly a RP reply, but whatever, they're not the majority in most fandoms anymore, thankfully. Point is, it's literally showing her mutuals that she's capable of thinking as her muse and working on her muse. It's showing off good things and making her muse more interesting and uniquely hers in a good way. And it's totally possible that she's going to organically generate likes, people wanting to use this as a plot with her for RP, and mutuals who are increasingly following along with every post made.

The hope is that she experiences the beginnings of more interest in the muse than she does making muses, gain some confidence in doing this with the enjoyment of it, and stick with a muse longer than five seconds so that she can actually end up with the interactions she wants.

There are definitely other ways of doing this, the prompt thing just came to mind because it's major prompt season. You've got a prompt list floating around for literally every popular point of interest right now, from whump to extreme fluff to horror to humor. And it's going to keep going until January. It's also something that can be as short as a paragraph or as long as several thousand words, and that a hell of a lot of people don't do all of. So, it's easy, so long as she's got a reason to find it interesting and stay on course with it even a little bit.

You could also try getting her into doing something like moodboards for her muse but with little additions of writing that go along with them. Nothing major, just things like a quote from her muse or a sentence from a starter, thread, whatever.

So long as you can get her to start refocusing on RP being enjoyable from the inside and not just the outside, it's valid as hell to try it! She seems to be experiencing RP as instant gratification and basing that gratification on things she can't control, like popularity.

Right now, even giving her the sober truth that one can write the best version of a canon muse there is to be found, be someone enjoyable and interesting in OOC interactions, and be an amazing writer without that being enough to garner popularity, or even the plots that are wanted. That being a very popular RPer and having more interactions than you know what to do with (honestly sucks ass) isn't a set of absolute values, but rather, variables that are always in flux and often, totally mysterious. It's usually a mixture of total luck, visual appeal, and both mun being on point with what people want to see right this second and muse being the mixture of fanon that is desirable, also, right at this exact second. It is seriously not within anyone's control, no matter how much effort, quality, or even outright bullshit they have to put out there.

If she's ever going to stick to a muse and not find herself envious, upset, and bored it's absolutely got to come from herself. She's got to be popular with herself, enjoying herself regardless of what others are seemingly achieving or want to give her. It's not going to be recognized no matter how harsh or sweet you are about the problem, unless she's capable of really looking at those problems as problems, and I don't think she's going to get to that point through negatively bottoming out. She might get there through the opposite, though!

It's...just going to take a lot of effort and patience from you, with no expectation of reward yourself.

Because it's still likely as hell it's just not going to happen. And while it seems like you are the kind of friend who would find the effort worth it because you care and are invested in her, please know that there's no shame in merely contemplating this and noping right out.

You've got a life and are trying to enjoy the hobby as well! And if it seems like something that could sour your friendship? It's not worth it. You're better off just accepting that she'll inevitably tire of doing this and move on to another hobby, maybe decide to do fandom blogs or something instead that you can support her in.

It's definitely an unenviable and frustrating position you're in. All you can really do is try not to let this negatively impact the friendship, to keep refraining from just outright telling her things she'd find hurtful, and try your best to show her that it's rewarding to develop the muse and stick with it, not a task. That there are improvements she can make to her blog, and that it isn't a negative reflection on her that they can be made. You can try all the compassionate trickery in the world to lead her there, but it's ultimately up to her whether she brushes this off as well, don't let it hurt your feelings or exasperate you too much!

Also, it's totally possible that even if you met through RP and/or it has been a big part of the friendship, you might have grown in different directions in the hobby.

Growing within the hobby is inherent to any hobby you stick to for long enough, especially if you started out in it young. Some people seamlessly just keep growing to things that make them happy, others experience a lot of growing pains along the way as they're maybe ready for change, but only in select areas they have to discover for themselves. Still others grow in a way that doesn't make them very happy, but they're both not ready (or willing) to approach why and what they can do, and also still too attached to the good times they had to reassess whether it's still something they want to do, or if it's something better moved away from into something else.

That's always very difficult as a friend. Difficult in watching your friends not go the same directions as you anymore, even in something as comparatively silly as a hobby, in seeing them not enjoying themselves, and in the possibility that it could signal the end of enjoying the hobby with them. It's sad and frustrating, and can feel lonely, but if you're close enough friends, you've got so many other things to still be good friends over, so keep that in mind!

She might need to keep doing this with her blog and muse situation until she comes not to the realization that she needs to change how she's RPing to get what she wants, but rather, that she wants to stop RPing. That could be the burnout that happens here eventually, but again, not only can you still be great friends, if it makes her happier, it's good.

[grxywarxn]

Yut Lung Lee: Character Analysis

*There was a character analysis of Yut Lung that I read literally almost 2 years ago that I’m probably going to be grabbing inspiration and ideologies from. Unfortunately I don't remember the user but if I ever come upon them, I will put the post here :)*

I made a post last night talking about Ash and Eiji. (Which you can read here if you like.) And I thought it fitting to make a post about my favorite character from this series, Yut Lung.

A common thought among members of the Banana Fish fandom was one of hating Yut Lung. (I don’t know if it’s still popular.)  And I’m not saying I don’t think that’s completely justifiable, just that I don’t necessarily agree that Yut Lung is a character to hate. 

But after all who could blame them for hating Yut Lung? He was the bad guy no? He teamed up with Golzine just to see Ash fall. Everything he did was to see Ash suffer.

I’m making this post mainly, to ramble. But to also just talk about Yut Lung. And why morally gray characters like him are so interesting.

This post will be done in two parts. The first part will be looking at Yut Lungs character and further explaining and analyzing his hatred of Ash (and Eiji.) The second part will be looking at his relationship with Sing and how he helped him.

Part 1:

Yut Lung. 

We know pretty early on (as early as volume 5 and episode 9ish,) that he is nothing more than a pawn to his brothers. And when they don't need him they toss him to the side until they do. 

Over the series we continue to discover more about Yut Lungs hatred toward his brothers and just how deep that hatred is. And when the series is nearly over, we find out that his mom, the only person who taught him true kindness and love, was taken from him at such a young age by his brothers.  

What I'm trying to get at here is that hate is taught. When his mom was taken from him and he was forced to watch as his brothers teared her apart was the start of the hate. Which continues to grow and grow with the help of their constant mistreatment of him. 

(So is it really a surprise when Eiji comes along and Yut Lung feels a growing hatred for him as well? After all Eiji is the perfect image of a childhood and life that Yut Lung could have ever wanted. He is pure in every aspect where Yut Lung is grossly informed.) 

At first, you can see how Yut Lung feels a sort of kinship to Ash. They both were taken into chains by people they couldn't have despised more and forced to do things they never wanted to. And there was no way for them to ever be separated from that life. Not without destroying it all. 

So when Yut Lung sees Ash who again, was someone very similar to him, find someone like Eiji, he used the only emotion he knew to deal with it: anger/hate.

This is where Yut Lung and Ash differ. Ash who was so dark was able to find Eiji who is the sun. Ash escapes Authur, escapes Golzines grasp, and lives the "easy" life with Eiji for a little bit. And while this is happening, Yut Lung continues to fuel his hatred and destroys his family. And when that isn't enough, when he still feels the same towards Ash, he comes to Golzine and proposes a way they can destroy Ash together. 

Does this make Yut Lungs acts justifiable? No. But I think that when you think about it at a similar angle you can understand why Yut Lung did what he did. You can see the way he was taught to think and how he continued to do what he was good at: hate, plot, execute, destroy. Rinse and repeat.

Part 2:

(Uhh, it's kind of obvious after reading this part but I ship yuesing and use a lot of that influence in this part. Of course you can view it as a friendship while you read this part if you like!)

Sing is scarily similar to Eiji. There are of course differences but they are both kind, careful, caring, ambitious (althouh Sing is more than Eiji,) and they are both like the sun. *This was another idea I'm sure was inspired from the post I was talking about*

Sing is introduced in Yut Lungs life by force. He does not want to work with the Lees and he doesn't even want to work with Yut Lung. And Yut Lung is really only using Sing for his own personal gain.

But you can tell how over time, they grow fond of each other.

When Eiji is bailed from jail by Yut Lung and forced to stay in his house Eiji escapes using force. Sing sees this and immediately goes after them. Although his intentions aren’t clear if it was to help Yut Lung or Eiji, I feel it was to help Yut Lung. 

In Sings eyes Yut Lung was nothing more than a frail kid with guards and money. And he sees Yut Lung being taken away by Eiji, who is holding a gun, while his guards watch. And instead of obeying what Yut Lung wanted which was for everyone to stay, he followed anyway.

When he gets there he sees Eiji pointing the gun at Yut Lung. He sees Eiji lower the gun and walk off. And instead of going to Eiji, he goes to Yut Lung. 

He questions Yut Lung about why he did not do anything to protect himself. Why he did not try to take the gun. He gets upset even by how much it’s clear Yut Lung doesn’t care for his own being.

And when Yut Lung tells Sing to leave him alone, Sing watches Yut Lung walk away for a few seconds before following after him anyway. Going to him again when it seems Yut Lung was in danger, the first time because of Eiji, the second time because of his mind. He continues to follow him.

And their relationship grows more fond. Sing visits Yut Lung and Yut Lung protects Sing. But when Sing discovers the bad things Yut Lung is doing to Lao and Ash, he cuts himself off.

You can see how hurt Yut Lung is by this, because it’s Ash Sing is joining. Ash who is getting more and more connections. More and more people backing him up and standing with him when it seems like no one will do that for Yut Lung. 

In fact it’s even Blanca who reaches Sing and tells him he hopes he will forgive Yut Lung. And Sing listens.

And Sing listens. He goes to Yut Lung after everything is over and he offers him something. Together, they will reclaim china town. He will give Yut Lung something else to live for that isn’t anger and destroying, but instead nourishing and rebuilding. 

And he tells Yut Lung he really doesn’t even hate him. That just like Ash, Yut Lung is lost. And similar to how Eiji was there for Ash (although this was not spoken,) Sing will be there for Yut Lung. 

And you see in Garden of Light how much good this did for Yut Lung. Because he calls Sing, and he is now the one reassuring Sing. Telling him it is also time for Sing to let go of Ash. That he too can not run from what happened just like Eiji is. 

And where we can really see how Yut Lung changed is when he admits that he holds some blame for how Eiji is now. That he holds some blame for Ash’s not being here. 

And (Yasha spoilers. In case you don’t know, Yasha is another series by Akimi Yoshida existing in the same universe but with different main characters.) we know that they both continued to work together and have that mutual care and respect. Because when Yut Lung is assassinated, it is Sings first priority to destroy the people who had anything to do with it in 24 hours. 

So we know, that Yut Lung grew. That he overtime could seperate the old pain from himself and become somebody better. 

-

I just wrote this in the hopes that if anyone reading this didn’t like Yut Lung they could understand him, maybe, a bit more. But really I just wrote this to ramble. 

[horrorstoryfanfics]

Summer To Remember: Part Two

Xavier is so sweet and I feel like he just cares a lot about the people around him. Like especially when he was defending Brooke at the campfire. I feel like he would instantly feel the need to care for you too. 

Okay I’m sorry he makes me soft. 

Warnings: Drug use, swearing, mentions of death, the normal AHS warnings. 

Part One 

We started at the lake, stopping right in front of the docks. Mom droning on about the rules and what we had, stopping lastly on how drowning was the main cause of death. I was completely uninterested until a certain voice chimed in.

"What's second?" He challenged, eyeing my mother.

She didn't say anything as she scolded him with her eyes.

"People." I teased back with a smirk. His lips twisted up as he raised his eyebrows to me, looking back at his friends.

I didn't see the way Mom scoffed as she walked away, but it was only a matter of time until she realized I had the hots for the new counselor.

We all made our way down the path and over to the Dining Hall. Bertie was unloading food and supplies out of the back of a truck.

"And this is Chef Bertie, a Camp Redwood veteran." Mom said proudly.

Bertie smiled as she took the cigarette from her lips.

Xavier casually leaned against the truck. "Dibs," he joked motioning to her and looking over at Ray as he laughed.

Bertie looked over at him laughing slightly, "You wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it, handsome."

Ray, Chet and I started laughing as Xavier was completely taken aback. The shock written on his chiseled features.

"Put those scrawny arms to work and help the lady fill her pantry." She shoved a box into his arms. He took it without a word. "All of you, grab a crate." She rested on the back of the truck and finished her cigarette as we all went to work helping unload the back of the truck.

Ray was still laughing to himself, Xavier bumped him with his crate. "It's not that funny." He sneered.

"Actually it was," I interjected, walking past both of the boys and putting the crate down, bending flirtatiously. "It's what you get for calling dibs on the wrong girl." I winked and brushed my hands off while I walked back out to grab another.

Both boys almost dropped their crates along with their jaws. Xavier's mind was racing but he wasn't quick enough to come up with something else to say.

"Chef Bertie worked here when I was a counselor," My mother said as she stood and supervised us, of course not lifting a finger. "We are so blessed to have her with us."

"I have many good memories of this place," Bertie chimed in, "It's magic up here in the fresh air." She took another hit, "I'm sorry that one bad apple ruined it for everyone."

Everyone stopped and gathered around once again. They clearly tensed up at the slight mention of what happened here.

"The minute I heard Margaret was reopening this place, I was first to volunteer." She raised her hand lightly, then looked over at me, "Well second."

I rolled my eyes, "Hey I had too, what kind of daughter would I be if I didn't." I shrugged.

"A pretty shitty one," Xavier joked behind me, "But lucky me you aren't."

I turned around quickly almost nose to nose with him, smiling. "You aren't lucky yet." I gently pushed his sunglasses back up his nose with my finger.

"Okay!" My Mom clapped, "Let's continue our tour."

I smiled at him once again before following her over to the showers.

"Girls shower in the a.m.,boys in the p.m. Same goes for counselors too." She didn't look back as she walked through and waited for us outside.

Xavier turned over to me feigning a fake look of disappointment,"Guess I won't be able to help you rinse and repeat babe."

"I didn't take you for someone who follows rules, what a pitty." I pouted teasingly as I crossed my arms.  

He pushed his tongue in his cheek before he laughed lightly, shaking his head.

Everyone was clearly disappointed as they looked through the barren wooden outdoor room. There was no ceiling and not even any stalls. We walked through quickly and eventually made it back to the girls cabin and then the boys.

"Girls are red, boys are blue. Don't even try to make purple." She stated as we made our way back out.

I rolled my eyes, feeling another sexual spiel coming on.

"You expect us to be celibate all summer?" Chet asked, not really believing that she was serious.

"Well I'm not banning self-abuse. Although every stroke soils your soul." She said in disgust. "But how could I ever enforce it?" She threw her hands up in defeat.

"It's 1984, Margaret. They're building coed showers in the West Hollywood gym. You ever hear of the sexual revolution?" He looked over to me momentarily, "Sex won." He said matter of factly as him and Ray fist bumped.

"I am aware of the decadence of our era. Women's underwear that shows the buttocks."

"Here we go." I mumbled, crossing my arms and throwing my head back against the cabin door.

"Pornography in your own home," She continued on, "Van Halen."

Montana furrowed her brows and looked over to me, I just gave her a "Ignore her" look.

"I have been fighting the Lord's fight against filth around the world for years. Charles Keating is a dear friend. I was right by his side in Cincinnati during that Larry Flynt trial. And that is why, while still grieving my sweet husband Walter's untimely death, I took a small portion of the large fortune he left to me to buy this camp."

I tensed up at the mention of dad. While it had been years since his death it wasn't something I talked about openly. I shifted my weight and squeezed my arms tightly. It was also something that Mom and I never really talked about together

"I wanted to create a safe, pure, godly and decent place for the children of this country to escape for the summer. It is a dream come true. Now, there aren't many rules but I expect each and every one of you to follow them without exception." Once she finished her monologue she stormed away.

I rolled my eyes yet again, "Don't listen to her." I said. They all looked overwhelmed with how passionate and forceful her attitude was. Unfortunately it's something I've just endured and gotten used to.

"Who's Charles Keating?" Chet asked abruptly.

"He was against porn." I patted his shoulder as I walked away, heading back into the main part of the camp.

The sun was starting to set as the hue of the camp changed to a darker one. The eeiry scene growing once again onto the grounds.

Once everyone brought their bags and things to their respected cabin it was unanimous that we should build a fire. Brooke being overly excited to roast marshmallows and everyone else just excited to get the aesthetic of summer camp started.

There was a fire pit already with logs circled around it, creating a nice seating area. Chet grabbed the wood and threw it in while Ray lit it up. I sat down on a log by myself.

Brooke dug into the marshmallows as soon as Rita brought them over, stabbing them on the end of her stick and happily waiting for it to roast.

I felt the weight of the log shift as someone sat down beside me. I looked over with the corner of my eye to find Xavier giving me his infamous smirk, clearly teasing me again as he scooted closer, our thighs touching gently.

Chet lit up a blunt as Rita swatted at the mosquitoes and bugs that decided to swarm around us now. He passed it over to Ray who took a hit, and then Ray over to Rita.

"I don't smoke that funny weed," She said as she declined his offer, "The only thing I put in my lungs is a Marlboro Red," She smirked as she lit up a cigarette and huffed at it lightly.

"You know that shit will kill ya," Xavier stated.

"We all gotta die somehow," Rita stated quickly. "Any of you ever been camp councilors before?"

We all shook our heads, some stated their no's audibly.

"We just had to get out of LA." Ray said.

"I hear that, I couldn't be in that city another minute with all those gruesome murders going on." Rita stated.

The blunt made it over to me, I took a hit and turned to Xavier. He seemed impressed with the fact I did it.

"Do you want it or not?" I shook it lightly as he just stared at me, the fire crackling in the distance and Brooke talking about how she was attacked by the Night Stalker.

He took it from me quickly, our hands momentarily touching. "Just didn't know that Mommy's good little Christian girl was such a rebel." Half of his face was illuminated by the fire as he smirked down at me.

"Yeah?" I leaned in closely, "There's a lot you don't know about me." I whispered as my eyes trailed down his face, stopping on his lips. I leaned back and directed my attention back to the conversation. Not noticing the hunger in his eyes as our game of cat and mouse got a little more interesting.

"24 years ago. That's when they closed this place down." Rita was about to start telling the story of the massacre.

"Rita," Xavier groaned, "I understand the tradition, and usually I'm cool with that, but our friend Brooke here had a for-real assault, and we're just not in the mood for a bullshit ghost story." He passed the blunt over to Montana.

I looked over to Brooke who was no longer roasting marshmallows, who looked absolutely scared to death.

"It's not bullshit. And there was no ghost," Rita went on, "I'll be honest with you. I've never been a nurse at a camp before and you've never been councilors. So how did we get these jobs?" We all paused listening to her, "That's because anybody that knows what happened here, doesn't want to be here. This is the site of the worst Camp massacre of all time."

I looked down as I remembered the story my Mom told me, about how she barely survived and the reason she doesn't have her ear. Xavier felt me stiffen as he scooted closer, letting me know he was here. "Come on Rita.." His voice grew in annoyance at the fact she kept going.

"His name was Benjamin Richter but most call him Mr.Jingles." She stood up for dramatic effect, "Richter was drafted into the Vietnam War and he found his calling. He had the highest kill rate in his company. He had a nasty habit of collecting trophies from his enemies. Cutting off their ears and cutting them into a necklace."

"Jesus Christ Rita," I snapped, "If my Mom hears you talking about this she's going to lose her shit." My fist clenched remembering how hurt she was whenever she would be reminded of that horrible night. Xavier looked at me with concern, putting his hand over mine in an attempt to calm me down. I just looked over at him, not really wanting Rita to continue in the fear it would set Mom off.

Rita just shrugged as she continued on, "The only job he could get was here, nobody knows why he snapped...but one night he took a knife and slaughters an entire cabin. Ten victims in all."

"You're wrong," a voice chimed in. We all looked over and saw my Mom approaching the fire slowly everyone grew still at her appearance and Xavier's hand left mine. "Alcohol is not allowed," she took the flask from Ray's hand and poured it onto the dirt, "Neither are those funny smelling cigarettes." She looked over to Chet who had it dangling limply in his fingertips.

"So nothing happened here?" Xavier asked, confused.

"No, there was a massacre here. But only nine died not ten." She walked just in front of the fire, where everyone could see her.

"So Mr.Jingles is real?!" Brooke asked, her voice rose with fear.

Mom didn't say anything as she turned her head to the side and moved her hair, revealing the spot where her left ear should be, but isn't. Brooke gasped while looking away, seeming like she was going to hurl.

Xavier's brows were furrowed as he looked from my mom to me, trying to make sure I was okay. I didn't say anything as she continued on with the story I'd heard only once before. She sat on an empty log as she began to go into detail of the events she went through.

"And I thought that will be the end of it," She recalls the trial, "But I can't escape him. And that's why I bought this camp. To reopen it and take all of my darkest memories and make them into something bright."

"Duddee..." Chet shakes his head, "That's heavy."

Xavier's hand graced over mine again as his eyes scanned my face. He wasn't ready for all of this heavy backstory, he didn't even know that any of this happened. Let alone that it followed you your whole life.

Mom dusted off her shorts as she stood, "Alright well, we have a lot to do with the kids coming in two days. And this is the last time I want anyone talking about that horrible night." She walked away into the night as everyone sat still, horrified.

Everyone eventually got up, except for Xavier and I who just sat there a bit longer.

"Are you okay?" He asked, genuine concern gracing his features.

It made my heart tinge how caring he appeared to be. I just gave him a reassuring smile as I nodded my head, "Yeah, I'm good."

He smiled back lightly and stood up, reaching his hand out to me. "Then let's go inside before we catch our death."

I took his hand as I got to my feet, hesitating to let go once I got up. Eventually I did and we headed back up to the girls cabin.

Next Part

Tags: @felicityofbakerstreet

[skyecrandall]

Playlist Time!

Just sharing a little playlist. So many amazong songs came out today so imma definitely share em and others based on my mood!

First up...

1) September Fades - Ralph

Since September is nearly at its last breath, i guess it is now time to rock this song more!

2) Leave, But Don't Go - Violet Days

Came out today! And it ia such a jam tbh. Violet days are one of my favourite artists and each song they keep dropping sounds better than the last. I stan them so fucking hard!

3) Rise - Mako, The Glitch Mob, The World Alive

I don't really care about League Of Legends tbh. What I care is that one of my fav bands is featuring on it ! (Mako, I love them so fucking much!) What is even more amazing is that Mako contributed in the 2017 song with the lyrics and also featured in the remix! And now they come again for the 2018 version. Im so proud of Mako tbh. That song rocks and I think it will fit right in your alley @alanakusumastan

4) Gimme - Ralph (No youtube link since it just came out)

Yes i know ralph already featured in this playlist but she deserves it tbh. Today she released the album of the year and this is my favourite song of it. It is about havong a sugar daddy. The song also perfectly reflecrs the whole album! It is fun, glamour and retro yet timeless. It makes you feel like a diva yet want to jump from bed and start dancing sillyly. I love this girl.

5) Head Above The Water - Avril Lavigne

I have always wanted to get into Avril bit never got the time before. Since she is making her comeback.i decided to give a listen and oh wow I have really missed a lot. She is amazing but her comeback song is just soooo goood! Also congratulations to her for having been able to fight off the lyme disease!.

6) Kool Aid - Katelyn Tarver

Katelyn Tarver has been someone who ive been trying to get hold of whether i love her or not? And after this song i was sold on her. This song is so chill, yet fun. Gives me Ralph vibes à la Tease or Cereal.

7) Small Victory - Transviolet

I won't recommend listening the song. Instead i would recommend watching the video (click the song name) ! It is so fun and so full of positivity and the song is also so great tbh. Plus i also got an amazing gif from it. I'll only send it to people who dm me. Only @wlwkateomalley knows about that amazing gif tbh.

8) Perspective - Maty Noyes, Hazers

Maty's Ep has been out since a while and it is Amazing. With New Friends, Pornstar and this song as stand outs! Perspective is just so good! And those verses! It is not normal for me to like verses like this one's so much . She outdid herself!

9) P.A.T.T - Against The Current

They also released their album today and its great. Perhaps not as mindblowomg as their first album ( it was my favourite album of 2016) but this is also well done. I don't really see any big standouts so imma post this one simply because of this part of the lyrics " If love is blind, why do we got to be pretty all the time!" . Also P.A.T.T probably stands for Pretty All The Time.

10) Stronger - The Score

I was originally going to put another Ralph song but i decided to give credit to this instead. I'll be honest, after Glory, I was a bit scared for their future as their songs started feeling formulaic, samey and rinse and repeat. But i think they noticed it too and dished out amazing song that gets you pumped up amazingly! Great job! I'm also sure you'll like this one @alanakusumastan

------

As you see the song are mostly fun and positiveness and energetic! Thats because summer is coming here and I'm full of positivity right now for once!

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Imma tag @kadencantarella since we have similar music taste and @lovethemarshalltwins since Sam is the only member of the Neutral Squad that wasn't tagged it 😂

[kieren-fucking-walker]

I have a question: why do you think Dirk likes Todd so much? Not to be overly personal, but Todd is basically me, so thanks to my own shitty self-esteem I struggle sometimes to see why Dirk would like him. I feel like an asshole saying that, but my point isn't to shit on Todd—I hate feeling that way towards him and want to understand his value. And since you occasionally yell about how much you love Todd, I thought you might enjoy answering. But no pressure if you don't feel like it! :)

(This got so far out of hand I’m putting a cut in and I’m so fucking sorry I just love talking about these characters. Also there’s waaaay more that I wanted to put in here but I’ve had a busy day so sorry for leaving stuff out/potentially repeating myself and thank you for this question!) 

Oh man, hello fellow Todd person, I am also a Todd person! But I think I actually have an answer for this and it’s down to what Todd sees vs what Dirk sees. 

Todd sees himself as a sum of his past mistakes. He looks at a list of ways he’s failed himself and the people he loves, and thinks that’s all there is to him. Todd is also consumed by guilt, he’s been lying to so many people for so long and he’s tangled himself up in it so much that all of his energy goes into maintaining that lie and because he spends so much time keeping his story straight the fact that he’s created this big lie is always at the forefront of his mind. Todd doesn’t see any redeemable qualities in himself because he sees everything he does that’s good as a product of guilt and in some ways a form of repentance. In his mind he isn’t working shitty jobs to look after Amanda because he loves her, he’s doing it because he hurt her and he needs to make up for it. He doesn’t see himself as being loyal, because he’s cut himself off from any outside friendships, likely because he doesn’t think he deserves them. Todd declares himself to be an asshole, because saying that gives him justification to keep beating himself up because he thinks he deserves it, rather than admitting he’s a good person who did a terrible thing when he was younger. The reason he does this is because if he keeps saying he’s a bad person he can justify not coming clean, because coming clean is something you do if you want to change. Todd has already changed, he’s already a good person, but he can’t let himself think that because if he does then he has to tell the truth. At this point, thinking he’s terrible and beating himself up over it is a defence mechanism, because he knows he’ll lose Amanda if she finds out and he’s scared of that. Conveniently, the longer he doesn’t tell her the more he can use it as evidence that he’s a terrible person and it becomes a rinse-repeat cycle. 

Constantly beating yourself up over something you did is a form of avoidance, you never deal with it, because dealing with it means forgiving yourself in some way and self hatred can become just as much of a crutch as anything else. Todd thinks he’s selfish, and in some ways he is, but not the ways he thinks. “I don’t have any friends because I’m an asshole” is much easier for him to stomach than “I don’t have any friends because I push people away because I’m scared I’ll hurt them” because if he admits that then he admits he cares about people, that he doesn’t want to hurt people, but he did something that hurt them anyway. Dirk says Todd is making excuses for his excuses, and he’s right. Todd has to cast himself as a bad guy, because the implications of what he did if he doesn’t are too much. If he’s not a bad person it just means he made the choice to do a bad thing, it wasn’t fate, it wasn’t always going to be that way, he has to take ownership of it and no matter your opinion about people who do bad things that’s scary. Todd isn’t a bad person, he’s scared and defensive and guilty. He’s like an animal who’s trapped himself into a corner and is lashing out in panic. 

Dirk knows this. It would be easy to say Dirk just latches onto Todd because he wants a friend, or because he’s lonely, but to do that would be a disservice to Dirk’s character. Sure, Dirk is a good person and yes, he desperately wants a friend, but to say he’d be friends with anyone even if they’re a terrible person and keep on hurting him turns him into someone who doesn’t have any agency in his own relationships and that’s just not true. Dirk has a more subjective sense of good and bad than Todd does. Todd sees things in a much more black and white manner when it comes to himself, he did a bad thing so he’s a bad person, but Dirk doesn’t see things the same way. Dirk knows what bad people look like, and he knows what bad people do. He knows bad people don’t give away the last of their money to their sister, he knows that bad people don’t desperately try to make up for something they did wrong. When Dirk asks Todd why he didn’t just get a job, I think Todd’s answer solidifies this for him, because Todd doesn’t try to justify it he just lays it out. If we contrast this to the confrontation he has with Riggins it’s clear that Riggins doesn’t think he’s a bad person, he can justify what he did to himself and he tries to justify it to Dirk. Dirk sees something in Todd that Todd doesn’t see in himself, he sees guilt the same way Todd does, but he sees the desperation to put things right. Todd is so blinded by the fact that he did this terrible thing that he can’t step back to see how much it’s affected him too. Todd thinks he can never change, but he fails to see that he already has. Dirk sees that. 

Dirk likes Todd because he tries. Todd has absolutely no reason to throw his lot in with Dirk. He doesn’t owe him anything, hell at this point Dirk hasn’t actually done anything to endear himself to Todd, and it would be fair to say that Dirk is the only tangible thing Todd has to blame for all the bad shit that’s happened to him since he fell into his life. It is absolutely batshit insane that Todd goes along with him, but Dirk did something that was very important. He asked Todd for help. 

 Todd is what I like to call a perpetual big brother. He puts himself into the caretaker role without even realising he’s doing it and whether he knows it or not he defines himself by being a person who looks after others. Todd needs to be needed by other people, everything that drives him is external, and for someone who paints himself as a selfish uncaring asshole, there are few if any actions Todd takes that he does with himself in mind. Even going after the lottery ticket is because the money will help him to help Amanda, and I’m pretty sure when Dorian points that gun at him Todd’s thinking about how she’ll be on her own without him. Sure, Todd isn’t a sunny person who will help everyone he meets, but if you get close enough and work your way into the circle of people he cares about he will do absolutely anything for you. Dirk recognises this, and it’s funny, because Todd thinks he’s selfish but when Dirk tells Todd to take control of his life he’s actually telling him he’s not being selfish enough. That he’s desperate and he can’t keep going on like this because it’s going to burn him out, and he’s right. 

Dirk likes Todd because not only does he listen to him, he actually takes what he says on board and goes out and does it. Todd is loyal, he’s determined and despite everything he’s fairly open minded. He puts a level of trust into Dirk that I can’t imagine many people do, because even though he doesn’t have a fucking clue what’s going on he goes with him anyway, and it’s not out of a “yay! Lets go on an adventure!” sense of curiosity, I honestly think one of the reasons Todd goes with Dirk is because he’s pretty sure Dirk is going to get himself killed if he doesn’t, and Todd would feel responsible for not helping him. (Also because he secretly enjoys it lets be honest.) But Todd, even though he doesn’t understand and doesn’t (outwardly) believe him, trusts that Dirk believes in what he’s doing and it seems to be getting them somewhere and he goes along with it. 

Dirk also likes Todd because Todd doesn’t treat him like a child. The thing is that, yes, Todd can absolutely be a bit of an asshole. (It takes a special kind of person to go to a live music show wearing your own bands t-shirt and hit on a girl by telling her the band she’s clearly enjoying sucks, what a pretentious idiot.) But Todd is a dickhead in a blunt way. He’ll call Dirk out on his shit just as much as Dirk calls him out on his, but he’ll believe him when it matters, and when he needs him he’ll be there. Todd nearly gets killed on this case, and understandably he’s angry and upset and blames Dirk for it, but when he’s called out and given a little perspective he goes back, and he apologises in his own way, and he stays. He was under no obligation to do any of this, and yes it may partly be because he wants friends, but it’s also because he cares about Dirk. Nobody, no matter how much you think you love him from beyond the screen, could put up with as much of Dirk Gently’s Dirk-ness as Todd does without caring for them deeply. 

So here’s another thing. Dirk changed Todd’s life, but Todd also changed Dirk’s. They balance each other, and one reason Dirk likes Todd so much is that he gives him what he needs. They both do. A question you could ask is why does Todd like Dirk? He’s the polar opposite of anyone you’d expect Todd to be friends with on the surface, but in this show we’re blessed because we get to see below the surface and what we find there tells a different story. Dirk is also an asshole a lot of the time, they’re both blunt people, but they’re both gentle enough to counteract each other. Todd is an idiot, he did a bad thing, he makes bad choices, he lashes out when he feels backed into a corner and he knows how to hurt people if he wants to. Todd is also loyal, he’s brave, he cares deeply and strongly, he wants the best for the people in his life no matter the cost to himself. He’s headstrong and determined and very, very good at putting up a defensive asshole front, just like Dirk is very, very good at putting up a everything is fine happy-go-lucky front. They work because they can see past the fronts, they recognise that in each other and they can see what’s underneath. 

Dirk likes Todd because the way Todd thinks about himself isn’t all he is, and it also isn’t true. Todd thinks he’s the same person who told that lie, he thinks he deserves everything bad he gets, he thinks he owes it to the people he cares about to make himself suffer. Dirk sees Todd for what he is, even the fucking terrible parts, and he likes him anyway because he can see everything. He gets the bigger picture, he gets first hand experience of seeing Todd try, seeing how hard he tries, seeing how scared he is that he’ll never do enough to make up for it without realising that trying is enough. Dirk is on the receiving end of a certain kind of softness that Todd has, because Todd can be blunt, but he can also be gentle and kind if he needs to be. He gets frustrated easily and he doesn’t have much patience but he wants to help, he’s supportive, and a lot of the frustration comes from Dirk not letting him. Dirk likes Todd for all the things Todd can’t see about himself, but the good news is that Dirk wants Todd to recognise these things in himself, and he’s helping him get there. So I suppose if you think like Todd you need to remember you only have one side of the picture, and you’ve only got it in black and white. There’s more nuance than what you can see, than what you’re letting yourself see, and if I can offer you some advice as one Todd person to another (who may be a little further on the road out of self loathing than you are), listen to Dirk Gently. You’re making excuses for your excuses. Being an asshole isn’t a personality trait, it’s a series of actions and choices. Take different actions, make better choices. If you’re beating yourself up over it then you already want to, you’re just scared of what it means for you. But if you’re like Todd, then you’re also brave even when you’re terrified, you’re also determined, you already know what doing the right thing (whether it’s for yourself or for someone else) is, you just have to have someone shake you a little and tell you to do it. So embrace being kinder, embrace being gentle, you don’t have to do this with everyone obviously that would be exhausting, you can stay standoffish, but the people you care about? It’s okay to let them know that. Stop beating yourself up over things you can’t change and start focusing on the things you can. The most important lesson Todd needs to learn is how to let himself be loved, flaws and all, and how to love himself. Go do that. Be a trier. It’s way more punk than being a dick because you think you’ll feel better if you give people an excuse to hate you. 

[yournewapartment]

Need help on this topic, im so lost.. I'm 20, female and have NEVER had a romantic relationship of any kind. I blame living in the country and lack of a dating pool. But I would like to try and find someone.. I want a relationship thats aimed toward marriage, but I don't know if I'm ready or how to start or if I'm actually attracted to anyone which scares me. I know girls don't turn me on but I'm not even sure if guys do and if I can't love or feel for anyone I'm scare of being alone forever

I know it’s frustrating, but try to remember- there is no set schedule for meeting someone, falling in love, and getting married. You have so much time! I know it might not seem like that right now, but I promise that that special someone is out there waiting for you. You’ll meet them when the time is right. And please remember, you don’t have to decide who/what that person is right now. Just feel it out as you go along, and listen to what feels right.

I’ve combined three posts for you. Advice on finding someone, dating someone, and then having sex with said person (if you so choose).

I hope you find this helpful! Hit me up with any specific questions.

Finding That “Special Someone(s)”

1. The first step is deciding what you’re looking for in a relationship. It’s best to be as specific as possible, while knowing that you can always adjust with time. One of the things you need to be definitive about is whether you’re looking for a committed relationship or not. No judgment either way, but you need to know what makes you comfortable. Some other things to consider:

Monogamy or Polyamory 

To sex or not to sex

Are you willing to LDR?

What sort of activities are you looking to do with this person? Hiking, gaming, exploring, etc.

Does age matter to you?

2. Once you know what you’re looking for, start looking for people who fit that criteria. This might seem like an obvious notion, but really, so many people form unrealistic expectations with people/persons who don’t fit their ideal. I’m not saying that they need to be 100% what you’re looking for. Nobody will be! But if you’re looking for a committed relationship and get involved with someone who is not ready to settle down, you can’t expect them to suddenly come around to your way of thinking. Start off with someone on the same page as you.

3. How do you meet such a person? Use your environment! You’re around so many people all day, people who may not be of interest to you, but people who know people. Find out if your friends know anyone who fits your picture. Friends are a great way to meet people. Also, hate to say it, but go to parties! Go to parties with you friends and socialize. Is there someone cute in your Physics class? Find out if she wants to go over homework with you at the campus cafe.

4. I also recommend frequenting places that you enjoy, and scoping out potential cuties. If you like to read, hang out at Barnes and Nobles to find a guy who likes to read. If you like hiking, join an outdoor adventure group. Feed your soul, while on The Hunt.

5. I highly recommend befriending any person you’re interested in. Put yourself in social situations with this person, to see if you’re socially compatible. We all know people who are sexy as all fuck but share nothing in common with us. Start with the shared experiences and work from there, I guarantee you that this method creates better and longer lasting relationships.

Dating Tips

1. Figure out what you’re looking for in a partner. There are lots of fish in the sea, and every one is different! You may be attracted to someone but not sexually or socially compatible with them. If you know exactly what you’re looking for, you may find it easier to zero in on the person(s) that interest you the most. Remember that you can always and should always adjust your wants/needs as time goes on.

Here are some ideas to get you started, but this is by no means a complete list:

Are you ready to commit to certain relationships? Or are you in the mood to explore different people with no particular ties?

Are you interested in one person? Or multiple people?

Are you interested in sex?

Are you bold and looking for someone to get out of your comfort zone with? Or are you confident and happy with where you are sexually? Or a mixture of the two?

2. Choose your “perfect date” ahead of time. I’m not a super spontaneous person, and I envy those that are. But I feel much less anxious when I already have a date planned in my head. Plans can always be adjusted, but I like to have a plan. In my mind, the “perfect date” has three parts…

One: The shared activity. Start your date off with an activity for you to do as a couple. Something public like a movie or a visit to a museum or hiking. While this may not seem super romantic to you, this is a great way to bond in a non-sexual way. And a public venue and a pre-determined activity takes some of that anxious pressure off. You don’t have to talk a lot (if at all). Keep it light!

Two: Dinner. This takes a bit of research. Find out if your intended is an adventurous eater or if they have any food preferences. I like to experience new things, and I want to be with a person who is open to that. So I think this meal should be something new and exciting. Possibly food from a different culture that they’ve never tried, or else something gastro and experimental. But not too expensive. Stay under $50 for this first date. And TIP!!

Three: Romance. Now is the time for you to spend some one-on-one time together, if you’re both feeling it. You could invite them back to your place, or take a romantic walk in the park if you’re not ready. But somewhere semi-private where you can have a deep conversation and really get to know each other.

And that’s it! Rinse and repeat!

3. Please ignore any societal notions you ever had about communication. Text or call whenever you want to! If you really like them, do it right away. If someone is really put off by how quickly you contacted them after a date, then they are not for you.

4. Be open about your experiences. If you’re a virgin or haven’t dated before, tell the other person. If they really like you, they’ll remember that these are life experiences that everyone develops at different times and they won’t care. Don’t be with someone who thinks that inexperience is a bad thing. Everyone is different!

5. There is no timeline for when you should sleep with a person. Well, actually there is, but it’s called “your personal judgment”. The same goes for any oral sex you may or may not want to have. If she eats you out, you’re not required to do the same to her. If he gives you a rim job and then she licks your balls, you’re not required to suck his dick or her tits.

6. Safe sex is so important! Please use condoms or some form of birth control. Some STDs will stay with you for life, and not everyone is honest about them. I’d also suggest that if you are getting serious with someone, that both of you get checked out by a doctor. Your health insurance should cover a yearly visit!

7. Please use caution before sending anyone naughty pictures of yourself. Just Skype them and do some naughty cam stuff.

8. Remember that fights are totally natural. Fighting every day is not, but occasional fights are bound to happen. It’s so important to talk through problems! Don’t keep them bottled up and festering inside, if you can’t be honest about how you feel then why are you with them? Compromise when you can but stay true to yourself. A couple is a unit, but it’s the individuals that make it successful.

9. Go traveling and vacationing together. People are often at their most anxious when traveling, and I would absolutely recommend that you spend some time together to see if you can work through the stress. Also, if you’re going to move in with someone spend some time living with them first. Before my boyfriend and I moved in together, I spent two nights out of the week living at his parent’s house and he spent one night living at mine.

10. During the first few months of dating or being with someone, you’ll probably want to spend all your free time with them. Think “Glue” by the Velvet Underground. Spend that time with them, but stay true to what makes you passionate. Keep painting, running, cooking, whatever.

General Sex Tips

1. I would highly recommend that you spend some time “getting to know yourself” before having sex. Feel around down there, see what feels good and what doesn’t. See if you can get yourself turned on. The more experience you have knowing what works for you, the better you’ll be able to communicate with your partner or partners and have an enjoyable experience.

2. If you have a vagina, odds are that your first time having sex is going to be slightly painful. This is totally natural, and will go away as time goes by. But be prepared to be upfront with your partner and to ask them to go slowly or use more lube if things do start hurting.

3. Condoms! There are many different kinds (ribbed, flavored, hot and cold). Magnum are large condoms, so if you are buying condoms and don’t have a monster dick, you probably should not use them. An ill-fitting condom is an ineffective condom! Also make sure to always store condoms correctly and to throw them out after their expiration date. Only one condom at a time folks, wearing two condoms is not twice as protective. They’re more likely to rip.

4. If you have a vagina, you should be peeing and/or showering immediately after sex to prevent UTIs. These are no joke! They are extremely painful infections that cause you to pee blood. Always pee after sex. Pee twice. People with penises can also get UTIs, but it’s far harder.

5. Did you know that only 25% of people with vaginas can have vaginal orgasms? So if you can’t, don’t stress! There are all sorts of different orgasms to be had, and they are all equally amazing. If you’re not cumming, you’re not being stimulated properly. Try a new position, a new technique, try having your partner or partners stimulate you in a different area. The page I linked above is a bit gender specific, but it has really useful information, so please ignore these terms.

6. Foreplay is so important! Vaginas take an average of 20 minutes to get properly revved up and horny. The reason you’re “dry” down there is because you’re not properly stimulated. You can always use lube in a pinch or ask your partner to go down on you, but you’ll find that sex is easier and more enjoyable when you are literally “wet down there”.

7. Period sex. Oh how I love period sex. Vaginas are at their most sensitive during this part of the cycle, so achieving an orgasm can be easier. If you’re going to have period sex, throw a towel down first. Blood comes out super easily in the wash, you don’t have to do anything special to the cloth to get it clean. You will probably want to shower afterwards!

8. Communication is key. You cannot just lie back and think of England and hope that you’ll achieve a magical orgasm. It’s not like that. What turns your partner or partners on may not turn you on. This is absolutely fine! You may not even want to cum or be able to cum during your first time having sex, and this is fine too. Tell them what works and what doesn’t and be AS SPECIFIC AS POSSIBLE.

9. On a similar note, you are not obligated to do anything to anybody else or to yourself that you are not comfortable with. You do not need to give blowjobs or hand jobs or even have sex with someone if you aren’t 100% into it. If someone is pressuring you and thinks that sex equates a happy relationship, then I would advise you to ditch them and get on with your life.

10. Protection! Please use protection. Whether this is condoms, birth control, an IUD, whatever. The pull out method does not work. I am a product of the pull out method. Not everyone with a penis has precum, but many do. Don’t take the chance! I am on birth control and I love it, but that’s a whole different post.

11. Dildos come in all different shapes and sizes. You can get ones that are smaller and thinner than actual penises and ones that are comically large. Make sure to use lube! Wash them with dish soap in your sink and leave to dry. Some dildos that are “hyper realistic” come with a powder that you have to put on them. These are incredible dildos, I highly recommend them. They feel so life like!

12. Edible underwear does not taste all that good. Neither do flavored condoms.

13. Black sheets or black blankets and sex are not a good mix. You will see cum stains. They wash out super easily, you don’t need to do anything special to clean them. Just keep them out of sight when your friends and Aunt Kathy come over.

14. If you start having sex and decide that you want to stop having sex then please tell your partner and stop. You are not obligated to keep going if you feel uncomfortable. Your body = your choice.

15. If you have a vagina then you will want to make an OBGYN appointment shortly after you start having sex. These are vagina doctors and they can check your vagina out to make sure that everything is okay. You should probably get your vagina checked out often if you have multiple partners. If you are in a relationship with one person and use protection, then once a year is fine.

[thelifetimechannel]

Well, us lgbt peeps are getting our youth centers set on fire, we're being kicked out of the military, and the SCOTUS is just about to let businesses discriminate against us, but i'm glad we have people like you to erase what little positive representation we get! When only bigots are pissed about rosemary "Trying to make everyone happy" equals "Trying to make the bigots happy". You don't have to answer this, just think about it. Your work already has that reputation. Do you want it to stick?

Let’s assuage one concern right off the bat. Rosemary is going to be fine. Rose talks about backing off, but in the same conversation she admits she’s being silly and overreacting. Earlier in canon, she assumes Kanaya wants to break up with her and claims “my girlfriend thinks I’m an idiot”. With her insecure belief that Kanaya is disappointed in her, a brief consideration of following in her family’s footsteps and bailing seemed in character to me. But she knows that’s kneejerk and prompted by insecurity rather than reality, and instead, she’s going to talk to her about their issues. A truly revolutionary move, to be sure. 

I have those conversations written. I did research, to more confidently write about how addiction can strain relationships and hurt the people you love. I wanted to explore what their dynamic looks like now with all those stressors in play and give them a chance to talk it out and make their relationship stronger. So Rosemary will be fine. Don’t worry about them.

With that out of the way, I’m tucking the rest of our responses under a cut.

Pal. Anon. Buddy. 

Yes, these are scary fucking times right now. A lot of people are frightened and for very good reason. A lot of people feel powerless to do anything against the soulless wastes of skin in the US government. A lot of people are lashing out at things they think they can control instead. I understand turning to fiction when times are stressful; if someone finds solace in my work, even for an hour or two, that makes me more glad than words can properly express at 2 AM. 

However, what I’m not appreciating is taking that stress out on queer content creators themselves. Further more, I get the funny feeling - something I’ve been getting for a long time now - that your message was made less as a letter to the editor from a genuinely concerned reader. Because, you know, we’ve gotten messages like this before. Instead, it sounds like a blatant co-opting of these very real, very scary issues in order to moralize why you don’t like a fan fiction that has less than 250 favs on MSPFA. 

This is not the first time we’ve received a message like this on this blog and I suspect it won’t be the last. But I’m writing a draft response this time instead of Kat because I saw this first and it’s 2:30 AM and I am very, very, VERY tired of this goddamn concern trolling.  

Canon, Anon, is always going to be there, will always have Rosemary, and will literally always be fathoms more popular than my dorky fan comic. Rosemary will continue to be an extremely popular canon ship. Rosemary ain’t going anywhere because of one fanfic that doesn’t have as much of a focus on it. Emphasis: as much of a focus. It’s what we call a “gen fic”. Calm down. 

I get getting defensive about your ships when people are assholes about it. But if homophobic a-holes are drawn to my comic because we’re not heavy on gay ships because that’s where the story is right now, that is on them. And there are much better ways to deal with that problem than sending passive-aggressive notes to small fry like us because we’re not dropping everything and scrambling to get more shipping content onscreen. Yeah, we’re right there. Our inbox is open. I get it, it’s easy to take our your fear and your anger with messages like this because we are such small time members of the community. But will you please grab some patience? Holding off because it’s not the right moment for it to be in the story =/= erasure, we will get there, and we will get there after I get some freaking shut eye so I can wake up so I can draw the next flash and the next update. Rinse. Repeat. 

Also literally every time I have drawn Rose onscreen for months now she’s been in one of Kanaya’s shirts. If you’re going to criticize my comic, at least do me the decency of sounding like you’ve read it first. 

-Gill

For once, I’m going to be the crankier one. 

Simply, how dare you? How dare you waltz into our inbox pretending that any of this is new to us? Neither of us is cis or straight. I select nonbinary on anonymous surveys and then turn around to put female on official paperwork because my state doesn’t include sexual orientation or gender identity as protected categories for employees. I came home from rallying in front of my scumbag senator’s local office for health care and called him up about the military ban. I have poured so much mental time into this project partly because it’s a relief to have a distraction from the world falling down around me. And you pop in to compare two queer content creators to the people in power stripping their rights away. You even write that you’re not looking for a response. You’re not looking for a conversation. I’m 99% sure that you’re the same anon we’ve gotten over and over again claiming we have a “bad reputation” when you’re the one person who keeps yelling at us, and you completely ignore everything we say to you in favor of harassing us. Do you go through AO3 leaving these comments on everything that doesn’t meet your specifications? Is this fun for you?

I have tried many responses every time you reappear in our inbox. I have expressed sympathy toward your frustration. I have provided detailed explanations of why our project is the way it is. I pointed you in the direction of projects that might be more your speed. I’ve offered to write fic for you personally, for god’s sake. But I’m done. I’m tired. I get it - you’re scared. I’m scared. We’re all scared. And when it seems like no one’s listening and there’s nothing you can do, you want to hit out at something. You want to find an enemy and slay it so you stop feeling so powerless. I can relate. Take that impulse and do something constructive with it. Call a representative. Volunteer at a local activist group, if you’ve got the time, accessibility, spoons, etc. I know it feels like spitting into a wildfire, believe me, but it can help lift a little of the emotional weight of feeling entirely helpless. But us tearing each other apart isn’t going to help anything, and life is hard enough right now without me allowing myself to be your punching bag.

Further asks on this will go unanswered.

- Kat

[esselley]

Survive the Wasteland: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 

In the end, planning for a trip as long and uncertain as a journey to the Vault was no small task. Though they began right away, neither Kageyama nor Shouyou knew what they might find, on the road or in the Vault itself. They would need to be prepared.

But Shouyou had to prepare himself in other ways that didn't involve packing, sorting through supplies, taking inventory of their ammunition stock. He needed to steel himself, mentally, for the journey ahead.

He was doing better than expected. Every time his thoughts wandered to that shrouded, unsure part of his memories, they were replaced by newer, better ones. Meals at the cramped table in the hospital, running through the trees under rainy skies, the callouses on Kageyama's palms and the way his fingers were a bit too large for Shouyou to wind through his own, though he always did it anyway.

Still, he wasn't entirely himself. Sometimes, he would become unfocused, as the two halves of his thoughts collided. It was during one of these times, on the evening before they departed, that Yamaguchi caught his strangeness.

"Shouyou, are you done with that?"

Shouyou snapped out of his daze. He was rinsing a plate over the sink, water running over it and down the drain. He couldn't remember how long he'd been holding it.

"Fine!" he said, quickly. "Sorry…"

"That's alright," Yamaguchi told him, turning off the water. "Are you… is everything ready for tomorrow?"

Shouyou nodded slowly. "I am."

"If you weren't…" Yamaguchi said, "I don't think he'd make you go."

Yamaguchi had been mostly against the idea of them going since they had informed the doctors of the upcoming journey. Shouyou had even overheard him talking to Kageyama when he thought Shouyou wasn't around to listen, encouraging him to wait.

But Kageyama was right. Waiting wouldn't bring Shouyou any more peace than the small amount he'd built up over the past few months. It would only prolong finding it.

"I know he wouldn't," Shouyou said. "But I'd rather not have that option. I don't want to back out, I want to do this."

He had been terrified at the thought at first, it was true. But for what reason? One he couldn't even remember, no matter how hard he tried. All he knew was he'd be going back to a lifeless home, but that wasn't what scared him. Somehow, he felt it would be worse if there was still someone waiting for him, but why that was, he couldn't say. And now, Kageyama would be with him.

"I can do this," Shouyou said quietly to himself later, trying to force himself to fall asleep, to rest, before they were out on the road.

"You can do this," Kageyama repeated, and Shouyou felt the murmur roll under his fingertips, pressed his cheek against Kageyama's chest, and slept.

It would take around two weeks to reach the Vault, judging by the time it had taken for them to reach Smog City after Kageyama had found Shouyou. There was a chill in the air there hadn't been the first time they had made the journey, and the trees had become somehow even more barren, grey and stiff. Kageyama told Shouyou this was because the seasons had changed—they were now midway through autumn.

But the wonderful thing, now, was how little the cold night air mattered. When it got dark enough in the evenings that he and Kageyama had to find shelter, light their small fire, they no longer slept separate, on opposite sides of the leaping flames. It was Kageyama's constant closeness that made Shouyou dread reaching the end of their path a little less.

"Why do you think they wouldn't let us touch anyone?" Shouyou asked softly one evening. He lay flat on his stomach, chin resting on top of his forearms. Next to him, Kageyama rested propped up on his side, watching the fire idly.

"I don't know," Kageyama said, slowly. "You've never really told me anything about that."

Shouyou hummed. It was true, he hadn't—and not just because of his absent memories, or the anxious pit in his stomach he felt when he thought about the Vault. "I just never realized it was strange. But the longer I've been near you…"

And it wasn't just Kageyama. After several months of living with them, he'd noticed that Yamaguchi was prone to reassuring gestures, a friendly hand on Tsukishima's shoulder, or gently scooting Shouyou aside when he was in the way, which was always. People hugged and patted each other on the back and shook hands all the time, without a second thought. It was unavoidable, but it was also necessary.

What had happened in the Vault?

"What about your parents?" Kageyama asked.

Shouyou looked at him, confused. "My what?"

"Your parents… your mother and father?" Kageyama explained. "They would have had to hold you at some point."

"Oh, no," Shouyou shook his head. "That's not how it worked."

Now Kageyama looked lost. "What do you mean?"

"We didn't know who our parents were," Shouyou said. "No one did."

He realized, by the expression on Kageyama's face, that something was off.

"Explain…" Kageyama said, watching him closely.

"Um…" Shouyou wracked his brain for the scientific explanation he'd been told since he was old enough to understand. They'd never come easily to him. "It's called in… in vitro… something. I guess, basically, they'd just get whatever they needed from the parents and then they'd make the baby."

"They'd… make the baby?" Kageyama repeated, dumbfounded.

"Yeah," Shouyou said. "They said it was the purest way."

"The purest—what the fuck," Kageyama said sharply. "Where did they keep you?"

"I don't know," Shouyou said.

"And what about when you were kids?" Kageyama pressed.

"You've seen, already," Shouyou reminded him. "We just knew we weren't supposed to get close to each other."

He'd grown up without knowing it was okay to hug someone you liked, kiss someone you cared for. There hadn't been any of that. They'd only expressly been forbidden from touching themselves, but that was bodily instinct. All the other things that connected people to one another were learned, and they had been lost to the Vault.

He scooted a little closer to Kageyama and felt a reassuring hand slide over his back. "I just never knew that was something I could do," he said.

"Whatever happened to them, good riddance," Kageyama spat, though his touch remained gentle.

"I don't—I don't know," Shouyou told him. "There must have been other people like me. That means they died without ever getting to have what I have now. They never got to be out here. I think I had a… a friend… but I can't remember her now…"

Kageyama's hand slowed. "You remember growing up… but you can't even remember who you grew up with?"

Shouyou shook his head. "Not very well. It's another thing that's just… missing."

If he closed his eyes, and thought very, very hard, gave himself a headache, he thought he could remember something like a face. One other person who had seemed warm, a single connection within the endless cold of the Vault. The only other person besides himself who'd smiled.

A friend.

But the harder he tried to remember, the more uncomfortable he felt, and the farther the blurry features faded, into the dark recesses of his memory.

"What was her name…" he wondered.

"Maybe we can… try and find something there." Kageyama resumed his comforting touches, a hand stroking through Shouyou's hair. "Maybe other people escaped like you."

Shouyou hesitated, then nodded. He knew Kageyama was trying to be helpful, and didn't want to reject his encouragement. But Kageyama wasn't in his head, Kageyama couldn't understand the certainty roiling cold and fearful in his stomach.

Whatever terrible event had happened in the Vault, Shouyou hadn't escaped it. He couldn't remember, try as he might, but he felt as though it had been everyone else, who'd been trapped, unable to run.

And whatever happened, whatever bloodshed had occurred, had been entirely his fault.

As the days went by and they trekked closer to their goal, they talked more about the discrepancies in Shouyou's memory, the differences between the inside of the Vault, and out.

"So sex… makes babies?" Shouyou asked, stunned. They'd never even been told what the impure way of conception was, and now he could see why the topic had been avoided. It would have been the most taboo of subjects, in the Vault.

The skies above were grey despite the early time of day, as they walked along the crumbly asphalt road that wound from one of the larger cities into the outskirts, before giving way to the trees. They were just over a week into their journey.

Many of their conversations revolved around discussing the Vault in earnest, now; what it had been like, what was different outside its walls, what had been forbidden. Anything that might help them understand what they would soon discover, what might be keeping Shouyou's memories from surfacing.

"Sometimes," Kageyama replied in answer to his question. "And only if it's between a guy and a girl."

"I know it's got to be one of each," Shouyou said, "we just didn't know it was such a… they never told us the other way was so intimate, I guess?" Truthfully, he wasn't really sure what it was like, when other people touched each other the way he and Kageyama did. Kageyama had actually mentioned rarely caring all that much for it, before meeting Shouyou, which was a thought that made Shouyou feel like jumping up in the air and shouting, and then touching Kageyama even more.

"It doesn't have to be," Kageyama said. "But it's not weird, for people to care about each other when they decide to have a baby."

Shouyou hummed. "What about your… parents?" he asked, testing the unfamiliar word out on his tongue. "Did they care about each other?"

Kageyama shrugged. "I don't know. They didn't really care about me, though, either."

"Oh," Shouyou said. "Well, I guess we're the same, then. But we weren't really allowed to care about each other, even if we wanted to."

"What would they do, if that happened?"

"Huh?" Shouyou asked, absently. He had become distracted by a large boulder in the path of the road—could he jump over it, was the dominant question in his mind.

"What happened if you did start to get close to someone?" Kageyama asked. Shouyou stopped to consider and Kageyama pressed further. "If they didn't allow it, there must have been consequences? You said they sent people out into the Wasteland, but they couldn't have done that to everyone, there must have been some other type of punishment—"

A sudden darkness filled the spaces behind Shouyou's eyes—a darkness, and a silence.

Together they pressed in on him, until he couldn't breathe and his entire head felt like it might rupture from the pressure—

Just as suddenly, it stopped. When he regained his senses, he found he was lying curled into a ball on the road, Kageyama crouched protectively over him but not touching him, like he was afraid to set off an even worse reaction.

"Shouyou, can you hear me?" he was asking. "Are you in pain—"

"No—" Shouyou gasped, and Kageyama swore in relief. "It's not—it didn't hurt, but—" He shuddered, tucking his head down, and moaned. The awful sensation had faded, but something still lingered in its wake, a coldness, an emptiness.

Fear.

"There's a reason," he mumbled softly. "There's a reason I don't want to go back. But I can't remember, I can't…"

"Let's turn around," Kageyama said. "Let's go home—"

"I'm fine," Shouyou said. He wasn't. But now, along with the fear, he felt a new emotion. "I'm mad." He wanted to know why he and the others had been forced to live the life he had in the Vault.

But anger couldn't make the strange darkness disappear. Whatever had happened, it had seemed to allow Shouyou to be possessed by the sensation, although never as strong as the first time.

He had to stop walking along logs and jumping over rocks, because it could flare at any moment, knocking him off balance and sending him sprawling. At night, Kageyama had to grip him as close as possible, because closing his eyes made Shouyou feel like he was falling away into the blackened cracks. Strange things happened when they tried to listen to the radio, as though tuning it between stations was tuning whatever the darkness was, made it rise and fade away in the spaces between Shouyou's ears.

The sensation grew stronger and became harder to shake off the closer they got to the Vault. Shouyou knew this must mean they were going the right direction. He would have felt better about that fact had it not been so difficult and terrifying. But soon, they had passed the rubble town where he and Kageyama had first camped for the night, then the spot where Kageyama had saved Shouyou from bandits. Which meant that soon, a two days' walk from that point…

"Is this… it?" Kageyama asked, one day, and Shouyou looked up from where his eyes had been fixated on his feet, walking, walking, and saw that they'd arrived.

It was just the entrance to a small cave in the hillside. But though he'd only ever seen the outside of it once, before running, without stopping to look back again, Shouyou recognized it.

"Yes," he said, and swallowed. The entrance to the cave was pitch black, but already, Shouyou could sense an even deeper dark, clinging to the edges of his vision.

Soon, he told himself, soon they would know, and soon he could get rid of this, the fear and the cold silence, once and for all.

Kageyama pulled a flashlight out of his pack, clicking it on and raising it high above his head, so the thin beam of light illuminated the inside of the cave. There was nothing immediately visible but the rocky walls and floor, but that didn't mean there was no danger. Wasteland caves were often hotbeds of irradiated life.

Without a word passed between them, they armed themselves. Kageyama passed the flashlight to Shouyou so he could use his rifle, and Shouyou unholstered his small pistol, so he could shoot and still keep the flashlight aloft.

"Stay close to me," Kageyama said, and Shouyou had no problem following orders, sticking right behind him as though glued to his back.

They continued down, into the dark cave, Shouyou clinging close, but not close enough to impede Kageyama's movements, or have either of them in the way of the other's line of fire. But the deeper they walked, the quieter the cave seemed to get. There was no sign of mole rats burrowing underfoot, or the telltale skritch skritch of radroaches skittering along the walls.

"Do you remember walking out of here?" Kageyama whispered.

"I remember stepping out," Shouyou said. "I remember seeing the sun, but I don't remember how I got—Kageyama."

He grabbed the other man's arm, squeezing unintentionally hard. Kageyama was already moving to shield him with his body, rifle raised. The thin beam of the flashlight had illuminated in front of them a looming, open door.

The entrance to the Vault.

The rounded door towered above them, the weight of it obvious just from looking at it. If it hadn't been unlocked already, there would have been no telling how they would have accomplished the task. Explosives wouldn't have done it; it had been made to withstand a nuclear blast.

In the very middle of the door, a bold rusted number had been carved from the metal: 84.

The number rattled around in Shouyou's head painfully as they made their way forward, past the yawning door to step over it, into the cold metal depths beyond. It was even darker inside, without the light from the cave entrance shining down, but the flashlight illuminated some of its corners enough for them to see something was not quite right.

"You were covered in blood when I found you," Kageyama said, voice low. "Why is everything so clean?"

"This doesn't make sense…" Shouyou murmured. He swung the flashlight from side to side, but all it showed was the spotless, empty inside of the Vault.

Barely had he followed Kageyama over the threshold of the door when there was a low, buzzing hum and the dim reserve lighting began to flicker to life. Kageyama spun, rifle raised.

"It's just the—emergency lighting…" Shouyou said, but his voice stuck in his throat, trapped by bile rising. Even with how low the lights were, they still seemed to refract in his vision, burning his eyes, battling with the darkness. First, he couldn't see, and then he saw too much, and the hum and the pale lights magnified in his head, and as awful as they were, they still felt all too familiar—as though the absence of them was what he'd been missing all along.

"Shouyou?" Kageyama asked, voice tense, but he cut off, when the radio at his hip flared to life suddenly, flying through different stations in a haze of chatter and fuzzy music and static, until it all stopped. It landed on a single, steady, high-pitched tone, so steady and high that it was hard to perceive, once it had started.

Shouyou collapsed, unable to tell what had happened to him, aside from the way it felt like all the functions to his body had been cut off, like a marionette with its strings sliced. He heard shouting, but couldn't tell its source, and even that dimmed quickly, until all he could hear was the pounding of his own heart and the high, steady tone. It seeped through his mind, his memories, pure and all-encompassing.

When he opened his eyes—or, when the darkness had simply gone—things were clear to him, again.

To Hinata, things were simple.

There was still the man, there, at his side, leaning over him, and Hinata remained utterly still as he stared into the man's frantic blue eyes, assessing his options. Everything was moving slowly, so slowly—it gave him so much time, to process, to react.

There was a heavy, cold weight in his hand, and he clenched his fingers tight around it. He could tell by the feel of it that it would be adequate for his next action.

The man was saying something to him, but Hinata was careful not to listen to his words, to show any expression, and so the man was caught entirely off guard when Hinata whipped the flashlight in his hand up at the fastest speed his reflexes would allow, cracking the man in the temple, sending him sprawling.

The man was much bigger than him, but he'd been completely unprepared for Hinata's attack, and as he shook his head heavily, trying to get his bearings, Hinata shot to his feet and struck again, one more heavy swing of the flashlight to the man's head. The man was knocked unconscious.

Hinata stared at him for a moment longer. Then he picked up the man's rifle, and slung it across his own back, along with the pistol he'd dropped earlier. He turned, and walked out of the Vault.

It was finally time, now that he'd remembered. It was time to fulfill his duty, and find the Overseer.

END OF ARC 2.

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[get-a-new-lease-on-life]

A New Lease on Life - 6: Cohabitation Chaos

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6: Cohabitation Chaos

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Hey, Folks! So far this story has been primarily doom and gloom - and the doom and gloom is far from over - so I figured it was time for some fluff - a little breather from the drama, if you will. After all, when people move in together madness ensues and Amber hasn't been living with the guys very long at all. Hope this light-hearted chapter doesn't disappoint! Dedicated to all us short chicks livin' in a tall man's world.

Trigger warnings: The usual plus a very mild lime—nothing too descriptive, it's very brief and practically pointless to skip.

Suggested Listening: Simon and Garfunkel, "Bridge Over Troubled Water"

February 10th

Not one step out the bathroom door, Amber's ears picked up the sound of scrambling and frantic words in the kitchen. "Not even five minutes, an' there's already more work to be done," she sighed tiredly. "I'm gettin' too old for this."

In the kitchen doorway, she was greeted by the sight of Mikey scrubbing frantically at a grimy blackened pile of something on the countertop—the countertop Amber scrubbed clean after lunch. "What happened?" she deadpanned. Mikey whipped about with a girly shriek and the grubby sponge went flying across the room to land in the corner with a splat.

"I didn't do it!" he exclaimed, waving his hands defensively. "It's not my fault!"

"Yeah, you did, and it is," Leo contradicted sternly, leaning back against the opposite wall. "You took the crumb tray off the toaster so the leftover pizza would fit. Everything melted off the pizza and burned onto the countertop...and you probably murdered the toaster." Mikey grinned sheepishly, rubbing his neck.

"Heheh," he laughed nervously. "Well, at least you didn't break it, this time, right Bruh?" Leo stared back without a word, clearly unimpressed; sure, the toaster hated him, but was that really his fault?

With a long-suffering sigh, Amber approached the scorched cheese, sauce, and toppings. "Lemme get this straight." She grabbed the dripping sponge from the floor and wrung it out over the sink. "You packed the toaster full of pizza, left the crumb tray pushed aside and nothing underneath, then tried scrubbing the mess off with cold water and a half-dead sponge."

"The water was warm," he protested weakly. "And—" She cut him off, flinging her arms wide.

"Water, Mikey, water!" Sometimes Mikey reminded her of a less socially awkward Aaron; she forced the thought away as she chucked the sponge in the sink and started digging through a low cabinet. "You tried cleanin' up a hot, greasy, burned-on mess with water! Water alone will never clean up grease, especially burned grease!"

Armed with a box of baking soda, a spray bottle of white vinegar, and a plastic chisel, she tackled the mess. Once she'd chipped and scraped off as much as she could, she piled baking soda on the remainder. "Towels, Mikey?" she asked, startling him into action. With a couple old towels laid around the mess as a barrier, she started spraying the baking soda with vinegar.

"Whoa!" Mikey uttered as the mixture foamed violently with every spray. "What happened?" Amber shrugged noncommittally.

"It's just a chemical reaction, Mike," she answered, never noticing Donatello slip into the kitchen for coffee. "Vinegar's an acid, an' bakin' soda's a base; when they're combined, vinegar steals a hydrogen atom from the soda. The reaction produces water an' carbon dioxide, hence the fo—" Mid-spray she turned to look at Mikey; he was staring at her, bewildered. "Bakin' soda an' vinegar make a foamy mess that's great for burnin' off stubborn grease," she simplified gruffly.

"Oh!" he exclaimed with a wide grin. "So, you got this?" A dirty look from both Donnie and Leo made him cringe. "Eh…I mean, ya need a hand?" With a humoring smile, she passed him the spray bottle.

"Keep sprayin' 'til it stops foamin', then scrub off the rest an' rinse it off. Call me if ya need help, 'kay?" He pouted, but nodded in agreement and took over spraying the still foaming mass. With a grin at Leo and Donnie, Amber returned to dusting the dojo.

"'Just a chemical reaction,' huh?" Donatello smirked at her from the doorway. "You realize he probably has no idea what a 'base' is, right?"

"Meh," she shrugged, hopping up on her toes to reach part of the weapons rack. "Not my fault—I ain't his Mama. Joke's on him, anyway - he kin spray it 'til the pigs come home,- it's gonna keep foamin' up."

"You're just full of surprises, aren't you?" The unexpected comment caught her off guard, and though she knew he meant no harm, it rubbed her wrong. "I'd never have expected—"

"What?" she retorted sharply, stretching as high as possible. "My native language is Hick, so I must be a moron?"

"No!" he protested loudly. Her tenuous balance failed and she fell into his outstretched arms. "I just didn't—I mean—Ah, shell, I messed up again." Right above hers, shielded hazel eyes winced. "Do-over?" he proposed as he helped her back to her feet. Amber sighed in frustration, but plopped down on the dojo floor cross-legged; he followed suit, stretching out beside her.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, avoiding his eyes. "I dunno why I've been so—so cranky lately…I'm usually not the sort to get mad without damn good reason, but here I've been blowing up all over everyone for no reason. I dunno what's wrong with me…My Mama whupped my hide- fer far less'n- this."

"You've been through a lot, Amber," Donatello argued. "Your life is—"

"Yeah, yeah, I died an' all that," she interrupted. "None'a that's any excuse for bein' a total bitch to y'all over nothin'. I just wish I knew what was wrong with me."

Decade old rosebushes buried under a ton of shingles. Trees shaved bare of bark and twigs.

He watched her silently a moment; her head was bowed and her trembling shoulders drawn tight, a sure sign that she was again fighting memories she couldn't shut off. If only he could help...He knew it wasn't much, but he gripped her shoulder supportively. Not surprisingly, she leaned into his side, shivering.

"I jus' wish I could shut off these thoughts—these memories—" She shook her head viciously, haunted eyes staring through the gleaming floorboards.

Fiberglass tumbleweeds drift across a vacant parking lot.

"It's crazy, but it's almost like someone else is in control of my thoughts, my memories, an' they're trying to break me with them! I just…" she trailed off, turning to timidly meet his eyes. "Donnie…what if April's right? What if I am…broken?"

"No one said anything about being broken," he answered sternly, hoping she hadn't heard April suggest just such a thing. "I was hoping you hadn't heard that conversation." She slumped further.

"I came to apologize. It's not your fault I feel too sick to eat, yer just tryin' to help me."

Outstretched hands holding a mug of cloudy soup. A familiar voice begging her to eat.

"I…" Her voice cracked. "I shouldn't be here…I shouldn't e'en be alive. If I stayed dead, this wouldn't be happening!"

The bottom fell out of Donatello's stomach. "You don't…you're not wishing you were dead, are you?" he asked softly. "Amber, you got a second chance…if you hadn't, if you'd stayed dead," He swallowed noisily, avoiding her eyes. "W-We'd never have met…and without the repeated alarms, we'd never have found Kimber's body…she'd have been unable to rest, forgotten in the underground."

She blushed, distractedly hitching her tee shirt up higher. The neckline didn't bare the hated tattoo she now bore, but it still made her uncomfortable knowing it was there. She still felt sorry for the death of the body's previous occupant, but she had yet to feel anything but annoyance for the woman herself. Damned Purple Dragon punks, she thought darkly.

"Do you regret it?" Donnie asked hesitantly. "—regret meeting us?"

"Of course not," she answered with a tired smile. "How could I regret meeting you—all of you?" she added hastily. She didn't want to come across as creepy, after all. She didn't notice the mild disappointment in her companion's eyes. "I guess…I guess I just don't know what to feel, really. Of all the people who didn't make it out of that storm, why'd I get a second chance? I never use this word out of principle," she almost spat, her tone harsh. "But it just doesn't seem fair that I lived and they didn't! Whole families died—mothers, fathers, children, elderly, no one was excluded! Half my town's first-responders were killed or injured! Why'd I get a second chance when so many who're more worthy weren't spared?!"

Donatello wasn't at all surprised when she practically fell into his open arms, sobbing uncontrollably. He was a little disappointed, though. It had been thirteen days since Amber first dove into his arms in the throes of a panic attack and twelve since he admitted to her that he didn't mind it. He was her bridge over troubled water, her port in the storm, and he would never turn away someone who really needed him.

Ever since getting the okay, she sought comfort in his arms when she felt her world crashing down. When she found herself unable to fight off the demons on her own, she invaded his personal space until she could breathe again.

Not that he minded, he reminded himself silently, awkwardly petting her hair. He was only too glad to help whenever he could…and if he was honest with himself, he enjoyed the contact. Therein lay the rub…she only sought his arms when she needed comfort. She needed comfort, consolation, not affection and the like. For all he knew, she left a lover behind in her old life. The very idea stung; twice now, a woman had been practically dropped into his family's laps, and both times, that woman hadn't considered them human enough for a relationship. Though he'd never agree with any of Raphael's outbursts aloud, it was apparent to him as well…Love wasn't in their cards.

"PSST!" A sudden hiss from the open doorway drew his attention away from the crying redhead. Mikey stood just outside pantomiming an embrace and 'talking' with his hands.

"SHOO," Donatello mouthed back at him. The other threw his hands up in disbelief and stalked away only to return with a whiteboard from the lab. After a moment of scribbling, the board was raised and the words became clear. Quit huggin her & talk—she needs a distraction! The moment Mikey's point became clear, Donnie met his eyes with a wide-eyed halfway panicked stare, shaking his head frantically. Mikey scrubbed the board clean with the sleeve of the hoodie tied around his waist, scrawled another message, then shoved it at Donnie with a pout. Don't make me 'axidently'- break something. TALK or Mr. Coffee gets it!

'You drive a hard bargain, Mikey,' Donatello thought at his younger brother with a scowl. 'And your spelling is terrible.' Somehow he managed to throw an 'I'm watching you' gesture at his younger brother without disturbing the still sniffling woman buried face-first in his other side. Clearly content that his advice was taken, Mikey swaggered off with a smug grin.

As his footsteps faded, Donatello rubbed Amber's back. "Come on," he murmured teasingly. "I know life's a pain right now, but you don't have to suffocate yourself in my armpit." She responded with a snort, burrowing even deeper into his side. "Or not. Your choice, really."

"You don't stink," she grumbled into his plastron. "Turkeys stink—Compared to those, you're a bed'a roses, even after training." Sure she was through crying, she slumped at his side, leaning back against his shoulder. "Thanks…an' sorry for cryin' on ya…again."

"Don't worry about it, Braids," he grinned, chucking her chin. "I'm happy to oblige." They sat in silence a moment, one fighting to contain an excited girly squeal at the nickname and the other searching for ways to distract her.

"I' gotta keep busy, Dunnie," she admitted softly, staring through the weapons rack. She loved his new nickname for her - loved that he cared for her enough to give her a nickname - but it didn't change the facts. She was a mess...a mess he shouldn't have to deal with. "The moment I stop workin' is the moment I start thinkin'…and whenever I think, I remember." She swiped at her cheek to dash away the last of her tears, feeling angry and weak. "What if April's right? What if I do have PTSD?" He stood and brushed his trousers off, then held out his hand to her.

"We'll cross that bridge if and when we get there," he answered confidently. "Until then, there's no use in worrying about it, right?" She accepted the hand up with a bright blush but smiled regardless. Without hesitation, she threw herself back into her dusting.

"Sorry I took your head off…again. It's not your fault you didn't know about that button."

"Button?" he echoed back, watching her closely. She was, after all, pretty clumsy...too clumsy to be left alone with the weapons, even if he actually wanted to leave her alone.

She shrugged. "Yeah, everyone's got buttons, you know," she reminded as though he understood completely. "Big red mental buttons that should never be pushed an' usually result in nuclear fallout when they are. Some people can't handle being called a certain name, some can't handle being reminded'a certain things..." She snorted, grinning at a fond memory. "Heck, my best friend, Mercy - one of her worst buttons was hearing people using words like bipolar, gay, and the like as insults. She wasn't really violence prone, but the one time Aaron called her a 'bipolar bitch,' she 'bout knocked one'a his teeth out." Her face fell the moment she realized it - she wasn't going to see Mercy or Aaron again and the knowledge, though logical, hurt. "I don't really get too bent out'a shape over being called names or reminded of things," she finished instead of admitting her upset. "but whenever someone implies that I'm stupid, they're cruisin' fer a bruisin'."

"You thought I was calling you stupid?" Donnie shook his head. "I simply meant that you've shown little interest in anything but cleaning and cooking in all this time—I know practically nothing about you, but it's blatantly obvious that despite your rough speech, you're not an idiot."

Amber winced avoiding his eyes. "Sammy remembered a lesson the shepherd had given her," she recited softly without much of her usual twang; the author, after all, didn't write with that twang. "…gentle spirit may express itself in the rude words of illiteracy; it is not therefore rude. Ruffianism may speak the language of learning or religion; it is ruffianism still. Strength may wear the garb of weakness, an' still be strong; an' a weakling may carry the weapons of strength but fight with a weak heart." She finally met his eyes. "Harold Bell Wright wrote that in his book Shepherd of the Hills, an' it's entirely true. I walk like a hick, talk like a hick, an' live like a hick, but I'm not an IGNORANT hick." She was more than a hick, she reminded herself tackling the rack of staves, but the hick was what people saw most - it was more acceptable than the side of her she'd suppressed, after all, especially where she came from.

"I couldn't keep my grades up during school," she admitted instead of admitting the thoughts on her mind. "My classmates were absolute terrors, an' livin' in fear of getting the shit kicked out'a ya tends to make schoolin' less of a priority. Soon as I got out'a high school an' into college, though," she grinned almost smugly, "I blew their arses out'a the water—set the curves, aced everything but mathematics an' government, wound up on the Dean's list—well, you get the point."

"Why am I not surprised?" he asked with a low laugh. "You always struck me as too smart for your own good. So you graduated, then?" Her smile cracked; it was a sore subject, but he couldn't know that.

"I was only a few credits away from graduatin' with honors when some moron decided to park a van on my ass mid-crosswalk," she admitted. "It's a miracle I wasn't paralyzed from the waist down. Between physical therapy, corrective surgeries, re-learnin how to walk, an' mountains of legal bullshite, I dropped out; by the time I could walk without a cane, my credits weren't valid anymore an' I was too tired to start over…" ...and too apathetic, she added silently, but he didn't need to know that. She stretched up to reach the top rack again, avoiding his eyes. "I've been very blessed, though - I survived, I met some wonderful people, an' despite my occasional whining, I was happy. I spent the rest of my life workin' as a janitor, but by God, I proved without a shadow of a doubt that I'm not an idiot…and last I knew, my university still hadn't seen anyone beat my cumulative GPA."

"It must have been amazing," Donatello said quietly, his thoughts far from the dojo. "What I'd give for a chance to get a proper education…"

'Dammit, O'Brien,' she thought angrily. 'Ya just had to rub it in his face—quit bein' such a smug braggart!' "For what it's worth," she said brightly. "People go to school to learn; y'already know most of what the curriculum requires. Plus, what with all the other smarts you have piled up in yer brain, if ya crammed a whole major's worth more in there, it'd probably crash from overload—major 'blue screen'a death' stuff, really." He retorted with a sly grin.

"You're just scared I'll beat your records," he teased. "Couldn't handle havin' a turtle beat you at, say, algebra."

"No contest there," she grinned in response, surveying the impressive cobwebs in the rafters of the room; she could never reach them, and it was driving her bonkers. "A rock could beat me at algebra." Without warning, he swept her off her feet and onto his shoulders; between shrieks and threats, he chuckled,

"Get those cobwebs—they said 'yer mama wears army boots.'"

"Yeah?" she squawked, smacking him with the dust-rag. "Well, yer mama couldn't outrun a snail!" As the two traded quips and tackled the dusty rafters, Mikey darted back to the TV, satisfied in a hard day's meddling.

"Amber?" She bolted upright in bed, scanning the dark bedroom. "Amber, are you up?"

"Yeah," she answered softly as her eyes registered Donatello seated on the edge of her lumpy bed, unmasked and wearing only his trousers. He made the dark, cluttered room seem small - granted, her little 'shotgun shack' wasn't that big to begin with, but the presence of the tall, gangly mutant seemed to make it seem much smaller. "I am now. What's going on?" He shrugged, his lips tilted in an easy smile.

"I just couldn't stop thinking about you, really." He brushed a lock of dark brown hair from her cheek behind her ear, triggering a deep blush. "You wouldn't stay out of my dreams…so I came to invade yours. You don't mind, do you?" Warmth bloomed in her core at his confident, playful smile.

"Uh…" she stammered as his knuckles traced her cheekbone and jaw. Even without her glasses, she could plainly see the heat in his eyes - AND where this was going. "O-Of course not—you're always welcome here." Her pulse raced as his fingertips trailed over to her pulse point, hovering there long enough to sense the rapid beat.

"There's no need to be afraid, Braids," he murmured leaning in to bury his snout in her loose hair. "I'm here…I'll protect you." The words were stolen right from her lungs by a slow, sensual brush of lips on hers; as though gaining confidence from her suddenly gelatinous bones, he repeated the gesture several times more, then rubbed his snout against her nose. She whimpered and clung to him as he drew away the blanket and blazed a burning trail down her body. "Let me take care of you?" Before she could argue, her clothing was gone and his head was buried between her quaking thighs.

"DONNIE" she cried aloud as he sucked and lapped at her hot, naked flesh. "Oh Lawd —Oh God, DONNIE!"

"That's it, Amber," he murmured, his voice husky from heat and want. "Don't hold back—let go, I'm here." His words sent twinges down her spine—twinges that distracted her from how unexpected they were. "Amber…Brilliant, beautiful, precious Amber…" Only a little more—just a little longer, and she'd—

"Mikey!" A deafening roar startled Amber from her sleep and onto the floor in a sweaty pile. "I said LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" As Raph and Mike tussled in the living room, Amber realized what had occurred.

"Goddammit!" she snarled as she hoisted herself up onto the cot again, swatting her punch red hair back over her shoulders. 'If it ain't fuckin' nightmares, it's wet dreams,' she thought darkly, beating the lumpy pillow into submission. Finally, she had a good dream...and Raph murdered it! 'April's draggin' me out tomorrow—I gotta get some sleep.'

Unseen by the irate female, Donatello rolled his eyes and returned to fixing the toaster. The lab had been stifling with her pheromones, but the air was finally clearing.

Hours later as the sun rose over Manhattan, a badly off-key voice belted out "Poison Ivy" in the lair's bathroom. One half-asleep ninja staggered to the kitchen for coffee while two more slept soundly. Two rooms away, the remaining two snored to beat the band, both tied to their beds spread-eagled and one gagged with a dirty sock.

Revenge, Amber thought later as she texted pictures to April's phone, is sweet.

WORDS (Midwestern twang unless otherwise noted)

-Axidently - Mikey's spelling is atrocious. "Accidentally." - Lawd - Lord. This is actually a more Southern pronunciation than Midwestern, but it sometimes makes its way over the Arkansas-Missouri state line to southern Missouri, where Amber is from. - Less'n - This one has two possible meanings depending on its use. First meaning is simply less than. Second meaning, also sometimes written out as Unless'n or 'n'less'n is just an elaborated version of unless. The first meaning is much more commonly used unless the speaker is being a smartass. - None'a - None of - Schoolin' - This isn't typical Midwestern Twang, but rather an odd term Amber picked up from her Gran'Da. Simply means "Schooling," or rather, 'going to school and taking classes.' - Y'already - You already - "Whupped my hide" / A whuppin' - Whuppin' refers to punishment of a child by way of spanking or noisy blows to the rear, usually with a yard stick, paddle, or belt, or in more extreme cases, 'a whuppin' stick' or switch. It's not really considered abuse except among folks who consider spanking abuse, and a child is more likely to become a heathen from never having it than from having it. As recently as Cold's childhood, it was still considered acceptable to send your kid out back, make them 'pick a switch,' then use it to smack their asses instead of spanking them. The whole point behind whuppin' a kid is not to cause injury, but to punish them by way of emotional distress over the noise. Conversely, when someone tells an adult "I'll whup yer ass," "I'll give you a whuppin'," or something similar, they're referring to laying a beat-down on them by way of fisticuffs instead of spanking them. - "He kin spray it 'til the pigs come home" - 'He can spray it until the pigs come home.' NORMALLY people say 'til the COWS come home but my research into Scottish slang indicates that cow is regarded as a serious insult, one of the worst you can aim at a woman. Because of that, Amber replaces cows with pigs. Regarding Vinegar and Baking Soda: After the two have been mixed and the bubbling’s stopped, they don’t really do a damn thing. If you mix them on the surface you’re cleaning, some messes will loosen or ‘burn off’ from the bubbling. And yes, it WILL keep foaming up as long as you keep adding vinegar or baking soda, no matter how diluted it gets. Consider that Amber’s way of getting back at Mikey for neglecting common sense. - Adding 'a to the end of a word - This can have two different meanings, depending on how the rest of the sentence is put together. Sometimes it means 'to,' like tryin'a means 'trying to;' other times, it means 'of,' as in out'a which means 'out of.' Generally you can determine the meaning of the 'a by the preceding word - preceded by a verb usually means 'to' while 'of' can be preceded by a verb OR a non-verb, generally any word you're likely to use 'of' after.

One more note: "Poison Ivy" is a song originally recorded by The Coasters, and it's a real crackup! Seriously, the first time I heard it, after years of breaking out in hives just from walking past poison ivy, I laughed so hard I stopped breathing. Give it a listen sometime if you need a laugh.

Hope you enjoyed the fluffy reprieve, because it's time to torture Amber again.

Up Next: Best Laid Plans

Chapter List

[topicprinter]

The journey of becoming an entrepreneur is not for the faint of heart. It's a journey of ambition, desire, and passion that will force you to question your purpose, your will, and it will push the limits of your sanity. My journey is not over yet, however I am 7 years in... and I started off with a nice 6 figure job, plenty of money in the bank, 3 houses, a couple of cars, a motorcycle and a great social life and lots of friends. Regardless of how smart I thought I was, and my grossly miscalculated unrealistic timeframes, nothing turned out how I thought it would. The houses gone, the cars gone, the bank account is gone, and for a while a couple years back... my electricity was gone too. And, I thrived in it. I would wake up at the crack of dawn every morning and go to a coffee shop until they kicked me out, I would buy a few bulk candles and go home and work until my laptop battery died. Then I would get up, rinse and repeat. Don't get me wrong, there were successes along the way too. However, dealing with your successes isn't the hard part.If you plan on taking the plunge to be an entrepreneur. Don't start with the expectation of "funding" or taking investment. Start with having enough persistence and tenacity. notice I didn't say intelligence. This is not a game of wit, it's a game of being driven, and crazy enough to keep going when everyone else says stop. It'll make you question your sanity, and if your like many entrepreneurs, you'll need to fight fear, doubt, and depression along the way. It's not all doom and gloom, but there are same ground rules I highly suggest... I've had to many people I know lose everything they have to gain nothing, and some even felt the need to take their own lives. My heart still sinks and my tear wells still fill up, anytime I think about my friends who are no longer here. I've lost to many people who have tried taking this journey. Ok, so let's get to a few ground rules.1. It's ok to fail. Your supposed to fail. Do it fast... learn from it, don't dwell on it. Dust yourself off and do it again. You only need one success to out weigh all of your failures.2. It's going to be harder than you think, and take longer than you hoped for... don't give up.3. Don't take advice from the last person that gave it to you. Along your journey you will find any people who are willing to help. Pay attention to what they're specialty is. They will give you advice on everything, however take everything with a grain of salt... take technology advice from technologists, take story advice from marketers... and know that the marketers will give you technology advice and the technologists will give you marketing advice. Listen politely, but weigh it accordingly.4. Some people are time wasters, and/or assholes. Cut the strings as quickly as possible. I don't understand the psychology... however there are some people out there that get off wasting your time, and money, and lie for some ungodly reason. If they're promising you something, get to it as quickly as possible.5. Believe in yourself, even when no one else does. People will tell you your wrong, your crazy, and your idea will never work. If those people are sitting in a cubical, or behind a desk, and they work for someone for a living. They're probably not a visionary, and they'll give you the dos and don'ts they were taught. I had an opportunity to hear Mark Cuban speak yesterday. He tells a story of how everyone told him he was wrong and it would never work... only a couple years before he cashed out for billions.6. Cash is king. This has been my hardest lesson learned. Get to revenue as quickly as possible. If your not solving a real problem, people won't pay you. If you are solving a problem, they will. It's that simple. I found myself multiple times on my journey being a technology in search of a problem. 7 years later and I'm not a billionaire yet... I hope I'm getting close. Figure out who is going to pay you and why.7. Have fun. Make friends. This is so important. I lost a majority of my "normal" friends. People I work wth are friends as long as I pay them. However, there are angels I've met along they way. Not angels like "tenure angels" but angles like people who are there for me when I need them most, and make sure you're there in the same capacity. This journey is lonely... and I've met some of the most amazing friends, mentors, and good hearted people on this journey Barbary, Johnny, Dean, Ryan, Brian, and a hand full of others. Be a good friend, give first, and don't expect anything in return.You don't get what you don't ask for. Ask! What's it going to hurt. If the word No hurts you... get over it, or don't take this journey. If you want something ask for it. Even if it seems like an impossibility. On occasion, you'll be surprised.And after this long winded morning rant... and in the name of entrepreneurship... remember your ABCs (Always Be C/Selling). Here's my elevator pitch: DailyMynd.com is technology to help people become smarter and make more friends. We are soon to release smart, animated digital agents to help you find and share content you like love or need to know first. In the next 60 days, we are releasing our agents into the world, and we're exhibiting at Web Summit in November. Wish us luck. Please private message me if I can be of assistance, or if you have ideas you think might help me on this journey. Good luck!