✨peaches, parsnips, lemonade, and oak trees ✨
peaches- what makes you happiest in the world?
so many things!!! family + friends, small animals (cats, birds, etc), art, art made by my friends, inside jokes, good food, books and poems that I'll never fully understand no matter how many times I keep reading them, passionate people rambling about the things they love, quiet moments on the train or bus where you can just watch the colors of life fly by through the windows, when people u love and care for send u something they made or show u something they made, tote bags and t-shirts with weird and cute things on them, sharing fruit, sending the people I love things that remind me of them, pretty lights, the ocean (while it also makes me feel many other things), heart emojis, etc, etc.!
parsnips- how do you feel about cooking? whats your favorite thing to cook?
cooking is very good, very cleansing imo especially when you’re alone in the kitchen and just vibing with a good playlist going off in the background..very healing but ahahahh I'm a terrible cook like I'm definitely better than linguini from ratatouille,, ik my palettes and some flavor combinations that work and I really love prep work (cutting veggies and meat, cleaning veggies, very good stuff) but I'm Not Good. I have a very bad habit of dumping all and every spice together and hoping it comes out well, so it’s always either too salty, too tangy, too something (but I'll still eat I worked to make it) my favorite thing to cook blackened salmon/chicken with sautéed broccoli, it’s not a lot of ingredients so it’s relatively easy to make and I like the prep work for it like boiling the broccoli and getting the boullion ready
lemonade- favorite summer memory?
ohh there’s so many but I remember going to the park the hour before sunset (if you go any later, mosquitos come out and you’ll regret it later, any earlier and it’ll be too hot to make it past the mailbox) I think it was the first summer I was able to just walk by myself, my parents never let us go by ourselves anywhere, they were always anxious that something might happen. but like that summer I just walked to the closest park that overlooked the lake. I remember how still everything was there, it was after it had rained all day too so the park benches and swings were dripping wet and the grass was slick. I just walked in a circle, the park’s path was just a large circle, and I remember seeing frogs very clearly. they were just there in the grass looking out towards the lake that was at the edge of the park and behind those metal schoolyard fences. I sat with the frog for most of that evening until the sun was nearly gone and the sky was that violent pink orange with the growing indigo on the other side. the frog hopped off eventually and I went home; honestly that summer was probably the loneliest summers (summertime tends to be like that) but it was the first time that I clearly remember wanting to be better, like as a person overall and everything that summer was just begging me to be gentler and kinder and take things slow! very transformative walk!!
oak trees- what element of nature do you feel most connected to?
bodies of water!!!! mostly the ocean since I live the closest to it and have spent my life facing the sea, but lakes and rivers are so beautiful! unfortunately I'm surrounded by man-made lakes and canals, I don’t think I've even seen a real, natural-flowing river.
send me some cottagecore asks?
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⋆ — WELCOME HOME, TRAVELER.
THE SHORES HAVE GIFTED US A NEW RESIDENT. born on APRIL 12TH, 1994, OH SEHUN has been on the island for 1 YEAR AND 2 MONTHS and is currently a MANAGER AT WASHINGTOWN. you can always find them at BITNA STUDIOS, 303.
ONWARD !
⋆ EVERY STORY HAS A REASON
sehun cannot count the amount of times he had been asked the question, “why are you here?” in his naive mind, nearly a being on its own that adores even the silly disney movies ( unironically, though that is classified information ), he imagines himself pausing the frame in which he is living, breathing and moving with no script whatsoever, pointing to his own paused expression in the middle of the shot as his own voiceover explains, ironically: “yeah, that’s me! i’m sure you’re wondering how i got in that situation–” the image would proceed to backtrack with a shrill sound of reversed voices in a very high speed, until it stopped in his own face again. there he stands, a slice of cake in front of him, his hair then jet black and flopping in front of his eyes in a way that made him shake his head to move it away.
the voiceover would come back, “that’s me around a year ago. i had just finished college – i had been some kind of prodigy when i was younger, so i skipped a grade. i had an economics degree, a pretty girlfriend, a possible job set, and that cake.” each image should show each of his accomplishments, as to demonstrate how perfect it all seemed, “life seemed pretty set. i should’ve been happy, at least that’s what i heard from everybody else. the problem is that i wasn’t. life sucked big time. so i moved away, i moved away to paradise–”
the movie would end a few seconds later, after he let himself ramble about all of the oh so amazing things he now has, how beautiful the place is, and how much fun he has. it’s the intro to a movie for his friends he left behind, he supposes, because it is terrible even as a joke, and one should definitely not tell every inch of the truth to those who were not with you. what was sehun supposed to say, that he had seen the opportunity in a website at three in the morning and packed his bags a week later without any sort of concrete plan? or perhaps the realization that he would never become what he dreamed of finally fell onto his lap as soon as his degree did, too? the truth felt childish. peter pan found an old watch and realized time had caught up to him – there was no wendy, and no lost boy except for himself. time did not stop for him, and it did not move any slower with each day that passed. on the bottom of his old dresser he found a map coated in a tad of pixie dust, and with it he ran away to neverland. lonely, foolish, and afraid. peter is a coward – all children grow except one, and he was determined to keep it that way.
⋆ EVERY STORY HAS ITS ROOTS
INT. CHILD’S BEDROOM. NIGHT.
( 1999 )
all this has happened before, and it will all happen again, but this time it happened in seoul. it happened in a quiet street on the other side of the han river. that corner house over there is the home of the oh family and peter pan chose this particular house because there were people here who believed in him.
sehun believed this happened, because he had dreamed it around age five, on a ride home in the backseat of mom’s car after a day of too many ice creams scoups and disney movies at his best ( bestest! ) friend’s house. he dreamed that he was already home, sleeping soundly tucked in bed – but only pretending, you see, he was determined to catch it when peter pan knocked on his window. what came, however, was not the boy himself, but a tiny star, which zoomed through his blue curtains in the room he shared with his brother.
the tiny star, which sehun saw had a couple of sheer wings flipping within its glow, made a little bell sound and a trail of twinkling specs followed it in a line that then disappeared as it moved.
when he woke up, startled, he swore to his mom that he had seen tinker bell, and that she promised to teach him how to fly. his mother said, then, that her little boy was special, so smart that he would fly towards his dreams without any help. he sneezed from the fairy dust.
EXT. STREET. DAY.
( 2007 )
the sun as is setting as a boy and his father exit a movie theater, view from inside a ticket booth. sound is drown out, but the child is talking excitedly about the movie they’d just seen, while the father nods and smiles, giving his own input from time to time.
sehun doesn’t believe any other movie that year is better than this ratatouille thing him and his father had just seen, but the man told him that it was, in his own opinion, hot fuzz, though sehun was not old enough yet to watch it. sehun let go of his father’s hand as their feet met the sidewalk on the other side of the street, and on a whim told him looking up, half confused, half curious to the reaction.
“dad, i think i wanna make a movie someday” he looks down as he kicks nothing in particular, then back up at his father who smiles kindly.
“a movie, huh? about what?” the big hand ruffles sehun’s hair, then he frowns as he tries to fix it and think of a subject. well, he doesn’t know – he thinks of his toys, first and foremost, but toy story is already a hit and how many films about kids and their toys can there be? sehun supposes not many. then school comes to mind, and he wonders if his situation of skipping a grade this year to study with the bigger kids is movie worthy. he thinks he is, so he says it. father laughs – huh, well, maybe it isn’t. sehun thinks a bit harder – he thinks of his friends and how funny they are; everybody could use a joke like the ones his friends tell. he thinks of yerin, who he just met when he switched classrooms a couple weeks ago but sehun thinks love is not about time, but the fluttery feeling two people get when they share new crayons.
“i’m gonna make movies about beautiful things because it’s nice to look at them” he says, and father snickers. he stares, eyes narrowing – he pictures himself in a cowboy hat as he speaks in his own thoughts: this is a stone cold world. they go home with ice cream cones.
INT. TEENAGER’S BEDROOM. DAY.
( 2011 )
there are two boys sitting on the twin sized bed, both staring intensely at the sealed letter between them. nobody moves or speaks, the only sound in the room is the computer’s running noise and a pop song coming from the other room.
when sehun’s mother handed him a letter with the seoul national university seal on its back as he entered his house with a friend who was supposed to stay the night, the boy immediately grabbed it with the roughest, utmost care, then proceeded to sprint up the stairs to his room, shutting the door behind him.
now, when jihoon opened his friend’s bedroom door, a few seconds after it had hit him on the nose, he found sehun sitting on the bed, back straight as pole, pale complexion, and an empty gaze fixed on the floor. the shorter boy gulped, fearing the worst as he sat next to his friend, letter between them.
“so… were you accepted?” sehun had never heard jihoon speak so carefully, and perhaps that had been enough to snap him out of his mindless trance for a couple of seconds only to reply that he didn’t know, he hadn’t checked it. jihoon takes a big breath, and looks over at the letter. the clock on sehun’s beside table ticks, they breathe, a car honks outside, they stare at the letter, sehun’s brother turns on music on the other room, they stare at the letter, they stare at the letter, they stare at the letter…
“sehun, you little bitch!” jihoon snaps at the three minute mark of intense staring in absolute silence, though sehun is barely startled, “open the goddamn letter! you’re killing me here! you have perfect grades, you’re a goddamn prodigy, you’ll be accepted!” he groans loudly when his friend provides no answer, and pulls the letter from its place himself. sehun’s eyes grow wide as he yells to know just what jihoon thinks he’s doing.
what follows is the incredibly-mature-and-not-at-all-childish scene of a short eighteen year old and a recently-stretched seventeen year old yelling, hopping, pulling, grabbing, fighting over the letter, endless groans of cuss words and death threats. the shorter boy takes the lead and flops his friend onto the bed, straddling his chest and pinning his hands to the pillow. sehun hates that jihoon got stronger than him over the last summer break while working physical jobs – he was taller, for christ’s sake, and jihoon insisted on calling him a dried noodle every time they went into the pool.
“jihoon, i swear to god! i swear– what are you doing!? jeon jihoon, you’ll sleep on the street!” a rip on the envelope with jihoon’s tooth as sehun squirmed and pushed and pulled pathetically, which only made his friend’s task difficult, however not at all impossible. he shut his eyes tight with a whiny ‘oh my god, why?’ as he gave up and jihoon read out loud, dear oh sehun… then he stops. and laughs, bright and surprised and glad as he waves the letter way too quickly in front of his friend’s nose.
“holy shit, you’re in, sehun! they really let your airhead in! fucking scholarship and everything!” and there was too much excitement for sehun to complain about the insult or the fact that jihoon really is too stunned to be truly witty, because sehun is pulling the letter and laughing in disbelief along with his friend and they hug each other so tight that sehun really cusses those paid bodybuilding hours jihoon had. they buy ice creams on their way to yerin’s house.
INT. KITCHEN. NIGHT.
( 2016 )
there are two men standing by the kitchen counter, and a woman who is sitting on it. the first boy stands with one of his hands on the stone, his black hair slipping in front of his eyes as his head hangs low. the second has a hand running between the strands of his blonde hair, sighing heavily as he looks at the other, and then at the woman. she only stares at the first, gaze icy, angry, and eyes glossy, the tip of her nose pink.
“what the fuck is wrong with you? is this some kind of help call?” there’s venom in her words and a scoff by her question mark, “oh poor me, poor oh sehun, i graduate top one percent of the country and i’m not happy about it! it’s not enough! i have to run away to some kind of magical fucking island to feel happiness again!” and her tone builds up as her sentences roll, aiming for sehun’s heart though they barely pierce skin. he reasons she is still upset that he broke up with her in front of their other friends as they ate the cake she baked herself. he reasons he would be mad, too, if he had to bake.
jihoon calls her name softly reprimanding, but she bats no eyelash at his direction. she simply stares at sehun as he stares at her. she calls for a response, a loud ‘so?’ as she crosses her arms, and he gives her what he can, “the flight is in two days. i’m sorry i called you over while you’re still mad–” jihoon shakes his head with a ‘dumbass’ under his breath and yerin lets out an incredulous scoff that are commas to his sentence “– but my plan to tell you the day i left was too cruel, i think.”
there’s silence, hot anger in the air, and a sickening strawberry shortcake smell stuck to the walls. yerin bites her lip, jihoon moves as if he were to speak but sehun can’t hold his tongue and mumbles much quieter “you have clothes here in my apartment, i think you should take them away–” and yerin cuts him off as she flops down the counter and pushes his chest as hard as she can, yelling him to go fuck himself and to not come back ever.
jihoon stays as she leaves with tears on her cheeks. sehun thinks he this is the first time he has seen her cry since her uncle died a few weeks after she started university. to look at jihoon hurts a bit more than to see her tears, truthfully, because while yerin bursts in her sadness she mistakes for anger, jihoon looks at him with pure disappointment. the younger imagines if he just had thought this through, just given it a month, told jihoon everything going through his mind…
the older’s tone says it’s too late. “why?” and sehun can’t answer for a moment. he can’t say he let himself abandon his dreams while jihoon had all of his intact, he can’t say he felt sorry for himself while jihoon gave all of the people around him nothing but pride, he can’t say he’s terrified of growing up while jihoon is already what he wanted to be.
“i just need to get away. i’m sorry.” and that’s all he can say.
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Bucky Barnes vs. Winter Soldier
god i hate titling posts i think it looks weird as hell but i hate not knowing what post tumblr's giving me notifications for
also fuck grammar don't expect too much it's 10 pm im tired.
anyway
My favorite part about the whole bucky vs soldat thing and how they aren't the same person is that they are. they are literally the exact same person down to their core traits. if you disagree with me thats fine whatever i contradict myself in nearly every sentence and i'm right there with you disagreeing.
anyway
they are the same. they may be separate, whether it's by amnesia or just which side they're on, but in the end they come from the same source.
bucky's traits -> loyal, smart, very good sniper, watchful (watching over steve, noticing how steve left, noticing steve doing this and that) and able to follow a trail (finding steve in all his goddamn alley fights)
Winter Soldier's traits -> loyal (he is loyal to hydra, even if it's not really by choice), smart, very good sniper, watchful (just look at his eye movements. sebastian is so talented I CANT), and very good at tracking/following a trail.
those traits never change. yeah, bucky's a fine, science convention lovin guy, and the soldats a murder machine, but they still have the same traits in the end.
and that's why it makes bucky's character motivations and storyline so much better, because he should feel that guilt. not because it was his fault or because he should take the blame for it, but because it's only natural for humans to feel that way after something like that.
conveying the reasonings behind why bucky thinks hes a bad person is done better in fanfics than in his own damn show but we don't have time to unpack all of that
ive read so many wonderful fics where his guilt is so well portrayed it's AMAZING. he had no free will. they forced him to do it. it wasn't his fault. but it was still him. in the end it was still him. and he still remembers it
hydra did not carve bucky out of his body, they just took away his memories.
you didn't delete the tumblr blog, you just changed the theme
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