#rlly wanna not be conscious rn

[axel-skz]

hey!! I have a request🤭;

Ok what about chan w a vv sleepy s/o like their always falling alseep everywhere or they can fall alseep rlly easily not like narcoleptic but just sleepy🤷‍♀️

Chan had always been very accepting of the fact that you were always sleepy. You had a talent of falling asleep anywhere and everywhere, he was actually a little jealous. He struggled to sleep. It made him feel good to look after you though. Randomly feeling you fall asleep on his shoulder or somehow leaning on him or holding his hand.

It made him happy. He felt like you trusted him. To be able to fall asleep without worries around him. He slowly started to keep items in all the spaces he was in regularly. Things that would help keep you comfortable. He had a special drawer in his office with a nice pillow and there was always a blanket on the back of the sofa.

People noticed it in his live and he chalked it up to him taking naps in the office. But no, it was for you. He kept snacks for when you woke up and felt hungry. He would turn his music down as to not wake you as well as shushing anyone who came in.

You never realised just how strict he was about his shushing when one day, you were half asleep and jisung came in. He said something, fairly quietly. But there was Chan. This man, fully jumped like it was jumpscare in a movie. Then turned and so dramatically shushed Han that you would think he was Hyunjin.

He really loved you and made you feel so comfortable in your own skin. He never let you feel nervous or self conscious about it. He’d always say, ‘I get to hold you while you sleep. How could I be upset? I’m winning here.’

A/N: I’M CRYING RN! OMFG DO NOT LISTEN TO SAD SONGS WHILE READING THIS! I was listening to same boat by Lizzie Mcalpine and I’m just breaking down. The thought of someone so loving and accepting- my soul is dead.

Listen to cielings if you really wanna cry cus Istg that would hit so hard.

I hope this was better then the other stuff I’ve been posting lately :’) my brain is just not on my side lately and I’m so tired and sad. It’s hard to be anything rn.

I said this in my other post, todays song is Muddy water.

[arminsumi]

*gasp* WAIT Jay I just realized the same thing happened to us!

You with Gojo and me with Dazai (from bsd, forgive me if you don't know who that is). We were both fixated on Armin until a silly entp man came and swooped us into a new era. (Not that I don't love Armin anymore, I'm sure you do too, but my blog is much more split now).

Fun fact: Gojo and Dazai have the same English va!

Anyways, that's all, I hope you're able to rest well tonight and enjoy the end of the year <3

HEH 😌 i've seen that one scene of dazai dropping the f-word (i just looked at it bc i learned that he had the same english va as gojo so i craved more of his voice hehe) but that's all i know about him. i have nooo idea what bsd is about but i'll try watch it in the new year!! i rlly wanna get into more things

ehhh these damn entps 😩💖

i'm glad to know the same thing happened for you tho, i get self-conscious sometimes and feel guilty about not writing for armin or aot. but i just really enjoy jjk and gojo at the moment so i want to enjoy it to the max 🥹 i love gojo silly rn like how i loved armin silly last year

[bonesandthebees]

Also I had some coffee today and it was chocolate raspberry and it was so tasty and I had it with some apple cinnamon bread that my cousin had made and it was a little stale but it's alright bc it was tasty and paired with the coffee it made delicious dessert so :)

Also while I was in the store earlier I had the WORST cramps I literally felt like I was going to fall on the floor but after a while they went away and I could enjoy the shopping again so yay I also got some bright red nail polish I haven't put it on yet but I was thinking of doing that tomorrow

I really want to get into cosmetic stuff but I never learned how to do makeup and at this point I'm too scared to ask bc anxiety of ppl making fun of me for not knowing how to do makeup is strong and that may sound stupid but hey I got issues lol but yeah I want to learn how to do makeup but I have no clue where to start or what brands to get or like anything

Also with skincare bc my skin has seen better days but I'm also too nervous to ask for help with that and I have no clue what to do for that so lol my skin is suffering

I've slowly but surely been getting my wardrobe to my current style and Ive gotten a lot more comfortable wearing shorts in public bc before I always wore pants so my legs were never shown off and I realized about last year(?) That I had gotten really self conscious about my legs even around my family but i actually wore shorts out in public yesterday when I met up with my mom and I felt so happy bc I rlly like the outfit I was wearing it was black shorts with a white shirt with yellow and blue vertical stripes and the shirt was tucked into the shorts and I felt so happy wearing it it was great I felt very very good abt myself which is good bc I am self conscious about my body a little but it's gotten a lot better recently so that's good!

-🌼

chocolate raspberry coffee sounds so good wtf I wanna try that

okay I'm not going to go off on a tangent here on makeup/skincare recs and tips and all that unless you ask for it, but if you ever want that kind of stuff I know quite a bit about those kinds of things and I'm happy to share my wisdom! I'm not like an expert makeup artist or anything and while I hypothetically know about more intense stuff like contouring and baking your face and all that I've never actually done it, but I do know a decent amount! and I can do eyeliner really well so, there's that. and I've already made some skincare rec posts on here but I'm happy to answer more qs about that stuff if you ever desire

I'm glad you were able to feel good about your outfit!! baby steps are important for that stuff, but definitely try to branch out and wear outfits you might not normally wear! if you see an item of clothing you really like but you're self conscious about it, consider getting it any way and seeing if you can just wear it around your house for a bit to feel more confident in it before wearing it out. I used to be really self conscious about wearing tight shirts for a very specific body insecurity I have that I won't get into rn but I really love wearing crop tops so I gradually just started getting tops that were a bit tighter and it really helped my confidence

[septic-9mil]

I rlly dint wanna be conscious rn I wanna sleep

[phoenix-before-the-flame]

[transmigrationmacabre]

after careful consideration i have ascertained tht if i do not get some kind of ink on my body sometime in the next year i will simply Wither Up nd Die

[ocean-butch]

fuck this shit

[iron-fifty-nine]

how much do I have to pay for either a) my body to work properly or b) society to understand that my body doesn’t work properly. This is mostly for my sophomore Advanced Lit teacher who asked why I took too long in the bathroom and I didn’t have the heart to explain to him that I had kinda just lost all of my innards through my ass. Also I love tumblr u can just post whatever the fuck you want here huh. this is what you get when you follow me so you had better learn to deal

[jrueships]

Omg this deebo serge video soooo long lol i need to write down my thoughts while it plays just so i don't forget plus deebos talking about blahblah rn now wait hold on he just put eazy e under.. bruh . well anyways so WHOAWTF!?!?? 24:48MINTUTES ????? I CANT WATCH ALLAT?? IM HALFWAY THRU MY PUDDING!!! well man wtf whatever man ANYWAYS imma just burp stuff here rq

Deebo entering five seconds in and admitting how he just wanted to look cool while on the show lol... he is so cute <3 'im on this wretched horrid little show TWO times and i did THIS wooow' and serge trying to embarrass him about it smh serge came to KILL

Deebo mentioning the spurs 🥰🥰🥰 love how deebo cherishes certain memories so much that he makes it a mission in his life to tell EVERYONE about them while reminiscing on all the details like it was just yesterday 😊😊 he may not remember how math works sometimes but he can CERTAINLY remind you of how kyle pouted in the middle of the court with the ball clenched in his angry lil arms !!!

But anyways more about the spurs because I am but a poor... delusional little spurs fan (who has NO idea whAT is going on with the wizards anymore... John wall brad divorce.. done for?? Ex reunion??? HATES*X?!??!? IDK!!!) .. i was KIINDA hoping the spur who showed deebo the Nigerian restaurant was KELDON and THAT was the start of their dad son bond... but no. It makes sense tho and it's rlly cute how much deebo hyped it up! We love a culturally conscious king ! Plus im sure if keldon took deebo to go to a restaurant, it'd probably be like... Texas roadhouse lmao let's be honest

Serge mentioning kyle OF course. Then later using him as trade leverage and demar IMMEDIATELY taking the bait 😭😭 they are HUSBANDS your honor. Demar 'kyle can't lice without me' darnell 'I WOULD TAKE A TEN PERCENT FIFTEEN PERCENT PAY CUT FOR KYLE!!!!!' Derozan. Deebo going back to the raptors no questions asked if kyle was there... him being the only factor there for him.. like YEAH of COURSE he love Fred n pascal! THEY HIS KIDS!! HIS LIL BROS!! But they all grown up now !!! It's THEY team now! And Yeah no matter what deebo n kyle will always be part of the culture, but you gotta admit change when it comes to you! Deebo was so young with his first team.. going back to the past is difficult when the goal in life is striving toward the future. Too shiny shoes to fill when the feet too big!!! Deebo's mentality is so !!! Yeah!

'Kyle is selfish they'd be no money if he there' LMFAO??? The way kyle is so demanding and deebo LOVES it. Laughing while he and serge call kyle stingy. And it makes sense too lol all them 'he's payin for dinner' hashtags. Kyle is here to get that BAG!!! and that's ok!!! Cus as long as deebo gets to be by his side, kyle can take all the money he WANTS! sugarbaby kyle..sugardaddy deeb-ANYWAYS serge being like 'why you do this to my people :(( why you turn them down!!' Then remembering, as a tumblrina connoisseur, that kyle exists and demar is gay so he goes "😏😏😏what is / Kyle / was on the clippers...?" All sly grinch face. Deebo answering SO fast with "I'D BE THERE. 10 15 percent pay cut, I'D BE THERE." arUgh.. the ROMANTICISM???? No matter what.. demar will Be There for kyle. All to sit on a porch together rocking in their creaky lil wooden chairs drinking lemonade while laughin in the sunset... they'd Be There. wAgh!! The KNIGHTISM of it all!!!

Serge asking demar for one annoying thing about himself then getting mad when deebo tells him LMAO???? Trying to defend himself???? 'I am PRO! I am pro for YOU!!!!' he just wanna impress yall smh deebo 😭 and deebo not even tryna sugarcoat it.. just straight up 'you sooooo slow when gettin ready serge' probably because he had to hear kyle complain about it so much back then. Floor general vs unmoveable object serge. I'm glad serge is on the bucks now because giannis rlly appreciates the tiny details about serge that serge manically wants people to notice. He belongs in the bucks clearly😭.. idk HOW many 'wakanda' jokes he had to take from pg.... but yeah giannis said in an interview like 'SERGE ALWAYS A L W A Y S IN THE GYM!! SO LONG! AT NIGHT TOO! AND MORNING!! THAT IS S O COOL :-D!!!' so I'm glad serge has someone that appreciates his snailspace !

I haven't even GOTTEN to the... infamous kyle phone call OR serge apparently exposing deebo for his music so.. let's watch

[sexydreamgirl]

hii, a little warning that this will be a little negative. So if anyone reading this is kinda wavering rn, I’d suggest you skip.

i just really needed to let this out. I’m crying for the first time in a long time. And worse, this is after I’ve been perfecting my self concept. But it’s just...rn my mom pulled me aside and told me that I’ve been wavering and seem out of it lately (like I’m not very conscious of my surrounding) . Now that may seem like a good thing for ppl like me tht are practicing the law, y’know it’s great that I’m able to live life so detached from the 3d that even ppl in my life notice. I’ve been manifesting to wake up and be living my desired life and as of recently I’ve been so confident. But after my talk w my mom, she told me abt how it’s so important tht I don’t let myself waver bcus for me rn it’s such an important year (big exams are very near) and tht I’m not working like I used to anymore. And thts when I realized tht it’s true. Ever since I got into loa, I lost my dedication to study (and I know tht we don’t need effort or to work hard) but it was a trait of me tht I rlly liked. But when manifesting, I get so confident tht I’m like “I’m gonna be living my desired life anyway, I don’t need to do blah, blah, blah... And I’ve realized it’s been going on for a long time now and I’m stressing, I’m sooo behind everyone. And I feel rly delusional rn. On top of tht, I also just found out that my bff, the person I was just gushing abt how much I love her with, has said some stuff behind my back abt sth I messed up in the past that I don’t like to talk/think abt. This was apparently from quite a long while ago, but it suddenly hit me how she could’ve said some other crap abt me as well. Honestly I dun call anyone a BFF lightly, EVER. I’ve only ever considered her to be my one BFF and to know she’s done this just makes me feel so... idk I’m so sorry I’m all over the place rn. I feel so lost idk what to do anymore. And I feel like I’ve been so delusional and whatnot (and for all this to happen at my peak). Ik some of u reading this are probably thinking “work on ur sc” I know I know. But this is just rly hard on me rn and I feel so freaking delusional. I am so so sorry that you had to read all this. This was hella long and I’m so sorry. It’s okay if u don’t wanna answer this ask, I just wanted to let things off my chest bcus idk who to go to anymore and I feel like I’m abt to burst if I don’t let it out. I’m sorry again for this mess of an ask, if u read the whole thing, genuinely thank you thank you.

Hi sweetheart. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with all of this :( Whenever someone’s feeling overwhelmed I always advise them to take a break for a few days and just take it easy on themselves. Don’t worry about anything pertaining to manifesting for the time being, allow yourself to be sad and let all of those emotions out. No pressure, just take it day by day. When you finally feel up for it again, get back to self concept. Know that everything you just mentioned to me has a fix. It doesn’t need to be this way and you can always turn it around. But for now, just take care of yourself, okay? Your self concept won’t be affected.

[dickpuncherdraws]

hi :) first off I just want to say I love your art so much. second i wanted to ask you if you have any tips for drawing figures - I'm trying to learn right now and having trouble with proportions and whatnot. like did you have to study anatomy to get where you are now? it seems really daunting and i dont really know where to start. any advice would be welcome. again I just really love your style and the way you draw people so I wanted to ask! :)

ahh thank u so much!! and i’m gonna be honest with u, i’ve never really actively studied anatomy or anything, most of my knowledge comes from just absorbing things and making observations over the years lol.

i have taken some figure drawing classes in the past though (like. twice) and that’s always good practice. of course with covid that’s not rlly an option rn, but there are a lot of free figure drawing websites that u can visit (i usually use croquis café, they have pictures as well as videos if u wanna do timed figure drawings)

one thing i do a lot of tho is referencing myself! if i can’t quite visualize how smth should look, i’ll go pose in the mirror and make note of how things look. taking pictures of yourself (or other ppl if u have someone willing to pose for u) is also a completely valid option. i often take pictures of my hands in the specific angle/pose that i need to use as reference.

other than that tho a lot of it is just practice (the cursed word), but also paying attention to the world around u! i have my Artist Brain switched on almost all the time and am constantly taking note of what the people around me look like, how they look when they’re sitting, when they’re standing, the proportions of their bodies, etc. just being observant and making conscious mental notes of things helps a lot in my experience. over time you’ll internalize all these observations and then it’ll all sort of become second nature when ur drawing.

i’m certainly not the best example when it comes to studying anatomy or anything, but i hope this helps u out somewhat!

[void-selfships-archive]

All the Fluff Asks with whomever is on the brain rn :)

HELL YEAH TY TY Ima talk abt Bojack again FWHXHSH He is On The Brain. Its Childhood Friends Content!

***

blankets: how do you relax together?

Movie nights, or...hanging out in his pool- I'm my case, hanging out NEAR his pool lmao. Usually movie nights just end in us talking, but it's still good for r&r.

hugs: do you hug or touch each other often?

Yes and no? He's in indoor affection person but he's also just bad at physical affection, not his love language. It's not rare, but it's also not often, and I'm usually the one initiating contact. I dont rlly mind, cause he holds my hand out in public, or leans on me, or initiates a kiss. So it's all ok. We were a lot more physically affectionate when we were younger.

rainbows: how do you spend an off day inside together?

ANSWERED

lights: how do you spend your night together?

ANSWERED

sweet: what’s one of your favourite things your f/o does for/to you?

When he buys things just bc it reminded him of me, or stays by me during parties or other social functions.

nostalgia: what makes you and your f/o nostalgic?

ANSWERED

special: what stands out to you about your f/o? what stands out to your f/o about you?

He's easy to read- I mean, we have been friends for...ever but, I dunno? Some people act like they don't know what he wants when he says certain things but fuck dude? Mans is an open book.

When he met me...it was the way I treated him that caught his attention. I don't think he was used to it at the time all things considered but, he always said I was too nice to him- still feels like I am, actually. I don't believe it, tbh.

moods: what makes your f/o happiest?

Me. Which is softcore as FUCK but, he always says that. That I make his day better, and that even when he's in a bad mood thinking of me just makes him smile- which makes me all!!! Shut up!!! Shut up!!! And he always laughs at me and that's what makes my day.

bubbles: do you take baths or showers together?

Pfhhh sometimes. Usually it's the baths and that's only when it's an R&R day. But...its also a bit rare. We can still be a bit self conscious around eachother.

comfort: how do you take care of each other?

I don't really know? We've been taking care of eachother since we were kids, at this point our version of caring has just adapted with age. It's the kind of care that comes with knowing another person after a long time, I think.

starry: what gets both and your f/o excited?

Travelling, being outside of our homes is a freeing feeling, honestly? Forgetting about responsibilities is a big thing for him but I just enjoy the long car rides with him? Double points if he doesn't tell me where we're going and double points if I actually agree to come with him

relief: how does your f/o help you feel better? how do you help them?

He is CHRONICALLY BAD at comforting people, ima b honest FSHXHSH

But...he tries? Buying me my favorite foods and watching whatever he knows I'll enjoy- listening to old music too. Avoiding the topic too, cause he knows I'll always end up coming to him abt it when I'm ready.

I can't bully him for not knowing what to do sometimes tho when I'm basically the same way with him. The only form of help I know if distraction, so usually if I wanna make him feel better I might suggest going somewhere or having a fun night out on the town with some friends- usually I'll try to get him to talk abt what upset him after, bc I know if I let him sit on it it'll just make him feel worse.

[schmidts-ass]

i’m using the voice text thing so if it’s a bit confusing sorry lol

i’m also rlly high rn so that might contribute to it too lmaooo

OK so after Thanksgiving I’m gonna get back on my shit like I’m gonna not do this anymore and I am going to restrict and do things like the beginning of this all because I did so well back then and I was really good at it back then and I O my God I have been binging for like a month and honestly it wasn’t it isn’t really just binging it was just not doing anything I didn’t track yeah I was a little conscious of what I ate and I was like no I do this I’m done you can’t eat anything else for the day but I don’t like tracked anything and I don’t think I’ve made any progress in this shit sucks and I don’t like it I just want to go back to the honeymoon phase but things were so so so easy and perfect and great and yeah and I wish I was just tiny at this point because it’s been forever and I am still in the same weight area that I was when I started this and it’s exhausting and I’m tired and I just wanna go to bed but also what a week right now and everything I do is the fever dream all my actions talking I don’t know I just I wish I was just done with this shit but I can’t stop I just I just can’t I am I’m forcing myself to do it at this point now because I wanna see change it because I want to prove people that I have a problem is stupid is so stupid like just recover already you know you want to you know you’re able to but it does not and it’s it’s it’s i’m disgusted in myself you know for just saying so many things for people but then being such a fucking hypocrite this text app is weird I could’ve sworn I saw words change into other words I’m going to soon anyway thanks

that was confusing, basically to sum it up:

i need to get back on my grind 🦾

i need to get back into tracking

i hate that i cant recover

and i’m so high, that the voice text is doing weird stuff

[namjoonsheaux]

.

[sadlazzle]

worst thing abt my foot bein bad is that my limp is now like twice as pronounced and i ffffffuckin hate that

[missei]

hi miss afton! this isnt really having to do with hq or nsfw or anything, but it does have to do with writing.

i was just wondering if uve ever felt insecure over ur word count? (idk how to phrase it but i hope u get lmao) like u feel so conscious of the lack of words in ur story? because ive been dealing with that recently and its been making me prolong my stories just to reach a certain word count and in the end im not happy with the final outcome. i just wanna know because ur a writer that i really look up to and i would love to hear your input, but if u dont wanna, u can just ignore this ask <3

(oml that made me feel like i was writing a formal email to my boss, so please excuse the formality LOLOL)

HI BABIE!!! sorry i took a minute to get to this!!!

honestly? i absolutely get insecure over my word count! sometimes it feels like i'll disappoint if i come out with a 2k word fic instead of like a 5k word fic. i can definitely write a lot - on of the longest fics i've ever written was upwards of 22k words. so i have it in.

as a result, i often feel like i'm writing lower than my potential and sometimes feel bad about it! sometimes i also feel like people will find my content superficial because it isn't a rlly long, plot filled, emotion inducing storyline and instead is just me writing bc i want matsukaws to tell me he loves me LMAOOOO

so i absolutely know how you feel! i can't tell you how many fics i've left unfinished bc i just know it'll only be like 2k words and that feels like it's not worth sharing.

realistically, there's an audience for everything. lots of people don't have the patience or attention span to enjoy a really long fic and so they prefer short stories. some people only want pwp. it may feel disappointing to us, as authors, to put out something when we feel we are expected to put out something long and eloquent.

there's especially a lot of...stigma isn't the right word but i can't think of the word rn, around smut and pwp in general. a lot of people think it's a really cheap way to gain notes and followers - but it's actually a pretty difficult genre to write! a lot of writers, and readers, feel like fanfics lose their value if the story is just pwp and feel fanfics need to be full of substance and induce emotions and all that jazz.

and that's really not the case. we're all just here to write what makes us happy. most stories are self indulgent, at least mine are, and sometimes i worry my stories won't appeal to anyone because of that.

but trust me; there will always be someone who enjoys the content you put out. there will always be someone who prefers a 1.5k word story with no build up. there will always be someone who enjoys pwp over a storyline.

so there's no reason to be insecure, you're not writing for anyone but yourself in the end. sure, the readers and interaction are amazing but if you lose sight of writing because you enjoy it and get wrapped up in the people who consume it, you'll feel worse about your work.