#roxas gets to be there because he is a special little man :3

[laqueus]

after everything she’s been through, naminé deserves some derangement. as a treat.

the design on bottom-left shirt

[izunias-meme-hole]

KH Animated Series Rough Draft - Xehanort/Ansem

So I’ve kinda had like KH brainrot coming back, mostly in the form of BBS up to KH2, and one of the few thoughts I’ve had was “how the hell can this series be adapted WHILE being completely distinct from the narrative from both the Pre-BBS and Post-BBS content?” So I just thought about how to adapt Xehanort. Not the old man, I’m referring to Terranort/Ansem. Here’s what I have down so far.

He’s still Terra-Xehanort with amnesia, and not even becoming Ansem SoD changes that.

There is no Master Xehanort grand plan.

Kairi actually full on remembers that this man EXPERIMENTED on her.

His role during the KH1 section of the show would remain the same, except his reports are given more focus, and he at least appears once in between the first and last half of season 1.

In Season 2, the CoM and 358/2 Days parts of the show, Ansem would take up a similar role that he had in CoM for the first half, even taking over his body completely during Riku’s fight against Lexeaus. The only differences are that DiZ never disguises himself as his former apprentice, and Ansem is pretty much a consistent voice in Riku's head until Riku takes on his form in Days.

Ansem gets defeated by Riku, but this isn't the last we'd see of him in the narrative, because he spends the rest of season 3 haunting it through his research, and his nobody, Xemnas.

In season 4 (or at least a 3 part special finale), Xehanort is back as himself, but he gains the memories that Xemnas had, and by extension KNOWS enough pieces of his past lives as two Keyblade wielders to form a new plan to drown the worlds in darkness and become a god.

He sets up shop at the Keyblade Graveyard, and revives a Lingering Spirit to do his dirty work.

He welcomes Braig/Xigbar back into his employ to assist him.

He manages to convince Maleficent and Pete to join up with him.

He also brings 9 more people into his new little gang, Saix, Luxord, Malden, a Riku Replica, a younger replica of Master Xehanort based off scraps of his memory (We'll just call him Copy X), a replica of himself that takes more after Terra (Copy T), Replica No. I, a Roxas replica, and last but not least, a heartless Aqua.

In case you can't tell these 13 fellows are the XIII Darknesses, and they end up at least taking... 3 hearts from the Princesses of Light.

Xehanort has his eyes set on the X-Blade entirely for this plan, and gets it after his lackeys get beaten into paste, and by straight up offing Riku, who took a huge bullet for his friends.

Xehanort is enjoying his newfound power, and attempts to unlock Kingdom Hearts with it, but before he could ever manage to succeed, Sora and Kairi DEMOLISH him, along with the X-Blade.

Finally, Xehanort dies for good, as he starts to feel the life leave his body, he is on his knees and is having a full on breakdown, not understanding how Sora and Kairi were able to stop him, screaming that he "has to know," meanwhile Sora and Kairi just don't respond and watch as the man who's terrorized them and the entire universe fades away for good.

So yeah, this is my rough draft, and its basically just Ansem/Xehanort II from the games in the first half of the show, and for the second half he takes on a less confusing version of Master Xehanort's path, complete with a deserved demolishing. Again this is a rough draft, but I like what I've concocted so far in my head.

[gemstonerose]

Kingdom Hearts Actor AU

I mentioned in an older post I had found my notes on a KH Actor Au so here it is! Just a general overview of the characters and their relationships with each other.

Wayfinders/BBS:

·        Aqua was a child actor but BBS was her first major production.

·        Her and Terra are old friends who kind of fell out of contact and hadn’t seen each other in years. Only meeting again during the production of BBS.

·        Terra is Eraqus’ son (Single father life). Eraqus is also a seasoned actor.

·        Aqua, Terra, Ventus, and Vanitas develop a close friendship while on set. Ven and Van already knowing each other since their little brothers go to the same summer camp and had become friends.

·        Ventus constantly teases Terra that he has a crush on Aqua. Vanitas helps and Terra is in denial.

·        Xehanort is the oldest cast member in the series. He’s a well know veteran actor. He and Eraqus grew up together. He also has two adult sons who he fell out of contact with due to issues between the two boys and eventually him.

·        Vanitas deliberately likes to tease and rile up Ventus before their scenes together to make it more real. He also just likes to annoy his fellow actors in general.

·        Most Disney and Final Fantasy characters are either veterans or well-known in the field.

Destiny Trio/KH1:

·        Sora, Riku, & Kairi are actual friends who grew up in the same neighborhood.

o   Sora and Riku have known each other the longest.

o   Kairi moved there with her sister and father when she was 5.

·        Vanitas is Sora’s older brother and he’s two years older than Ventus.

·        Sora, Leon, & Aerith are cousins who had zero clue that they where all going to be in the same production. It was a pleasant surprise.

·        Roxas and Ventus are also brothers, but not twins. There is a 3-year age gap between them. (Makeup and special effects make them look the alike.)

·        Kairi and Xion are twins and Namine is their cousin.

o   Namine is adopted and has two dads.

·        During the filming for KH1 Vanitas was behind the scenes for the beginning as a way to support the kids. He even introducing them to his Disney costars.

·        Riku had a lot of family matters going on which is why his scenes are so spread out.

·        Kairi got really sick during production which sucked cause she was supposed to have a bigger role.

·        Ansem is a really tall and relatively big guy. He actually ended up scaring the kids the first time around. He ended up getting them ice cream as an apology.

o   He also lets the kids pretend to beat him up. It’s hilarious because all you see is this like 6ft man running away from a bunch of preteens who will end up dogpiling him.

·        Sora and Yuffie became fast friends and pulled pranks on set.

The Nobodies:

·        During production of Days Roxas became close friends with Xion and Namine.

o   Once Xion had saw Nami on set she immediately phoned Kairi to get her butt on set. The three girls hadn’t seen each other in like 2ish years since Namine ended up moving due to her dads work.

·        Kairi would come around often enough that her and Roxas developed a friendship of their own.

·        Roxas got along well with Riku even though the two did butt heads from time to time.

·        Demyx is an actual musician. (Sora is a big fan)

·        Larxene and Marluxia have been in multiple productions together where they played partner roles with each other. Their dynamic made them perfect for the partners in crime role.

o   People assume they’re dating, but no. They live together but in the “We have been friends since we were babies and now, we ride or die” way.

·        Zexion and Vexen went to the same high school.

·        Xaldin & Lexaeus have been in very small roles. Days, COM, & 2 are their first big roles

o   Lexaeus did standup comedy for a time before pursuing acting.

·        Xigbar has had a rough carrier. Lots of ups and downs. He was even surprised he got a part.

·        Xemnas was semi-reluctant to even consider signing up for the role. Him and Ansem are brothers who had a falling out years before and haven’t talked since. Xehanort is their father (surprise surprise).

o   Xemnas’ character is a full 180 of his actual personality. Everyone finds it unsettling and hilarious when he switches into acting mood only to find him stuffing his face with pudding hours later.

·        Axel and Saix are old acting buddies. Axel has a crush on him, but Saix is oblivious as hell. Roxas, Xion, Nami, & Kairi tease him about it.

o   Speaking of Saix, he’s great with kids.

Demyx and Roxas ended up writing a song together on while on set. After Days was completed the two showed off their new song at the postproduction after party.

[vio1315]

I was tagged by @sunheart to list my ten fav male characters.

Aw yeah, let’s see if I remember more than five at any given time (thanks!)

1. Slaine Troyard 

To this day I still am not sure if Slaine is such a great character because he comes from such an awful show, or if he could hold his own, but man alive he goes through every trope I’m weak for, so. Emotional character who holds their own in political ish situations is very 👀 you don’t get to see it all the time.

2. Kano Shuuya

MY BOY! His voice actor was so great, what an absolute vibe on this hecker. I really like characters who have some grime over their heart of gold traits, and he does it in such a fun way.

3. Shintaro Kisaragi

I know he’s the butt monkey a lot, and because he’s an antisocial loser you’d assume he deserves it, but legit in the manga he’s just??? So nice??? A lot??? He’s a very fun character.

4. Roxas (Kingdom Hearts)

Listen.... listen I love him. I know he’s from the funny Disney game and all BUT HE DESTROYS ME. And that’s really all I ask for in a character.

5. Axel (also KH)

As a kid idk if I was so into Axel, but revisiting it.... what the heck? Man just comes in and adopts two kids? He literally could have been jealous, but no? ‘These are mine now’. And then proceeds to just continuously be a good friend to them or something. I feel like some of his nuance etc was lost to me when I was younger but man aged like fine wine.

6. Gene Forrester (A Separate Peace)

Idk if I am the only person who likes him but.... man I just found him real compelling iejdjwjd

7. Artemis Fowl

😔😔😔 I need to reread it but love me a brat. A snarky little man.

8. Tim (Marble Hornets)

On first viewing I didn’t appreciate the characters as much as I could have, but rewatching it has been 👌

Tim literally goes through so much and makes it work. Most loyal friend, but takes no crap. Also he’s a person who looks like a character design. Like, you couldn’t blame people for looking a bit standard or generic, but he really has very like ‘I drew a character just to be iconic’ vibes, but as a person. Would not mind more live action being that way.

9. The dad from Luca

I don’t remember names but 🥺🥺🥺🥺😭

10. Shad from Zelda Twilight Princess

I am sure I could eventually remember someone I like more (especially considering I’m skipping Pandora Hearts, Pokemon Special, and MP100 and so on in this list, because then the list would just be them.) But this is my iconic ‘you have no reason to like this man so much’ character, so.

Like. Idk, just LOOK at him? And he’s such a brat to you at first for like No reason? Love that stuck up attitude. And then he just becomes full on ‘I love my area of study’ nerd. What a fun dude, what a stand up guy.

Why is this absolute nerd in the resistance? Why does he have such guts? Idk but fantastic.

Thanks for the tag!

I will tag ((⚆·̫⚆‧̣̥̇ )) uh idk who likes to speak on this...

@enjoliquej @niwawings15 @mentaowl

Also anyone who wants to be tagged @v@; I can’t keep track, but tell me about some fantastic boys

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #682: Valentine's Cards (Kingdom Hearts)

3:32 p.m. at Hayner's Usual Secret Spot......

Hayner: ('Heh' 'Heh') (Smugly Shows Roxas and Pence a Deck of Valentine Cards Given to Him) Read 'em and weep, boys!

Pence: (Somewhat Amazed) Woah.....You really weren't kidding when you said you got a lot of Valentine Cards today.

Hayner: I know, right? (Puts on a Smirk on his Face) This goes without saying, I believe I'm becoming a major hit with the ladies nowadays. Very impressive for a troublemaker like yours truly, I know.

Roxas: (Gives Hayner a Deadpinned Look on his Face) I never thought in million years that you, of all people, would care about this kind of stuff....

Hayner: (Shrugged) Me neither, but yet here we are. (Place his Arm Around an Annoyed Roxas) No need to be jealous, bud. It's not everyday that your best friend in the entire universe got a lot more Valentine Cards than you do. Hell, I bet you don't even have any at all.

Roxas: (Rolled his Eyes) Oh har har. (Shoves Hayner Off of Him) Very funny, Casanova. But in case you haven't noticed.....(Puts Out a Few Valentine's Cards of his Own From his Pants Pocket) I got a lot Valentine's cards of my own too! What you gotta say about that?

Pence: (Nodded in Agreement) That is pretty impressive if you ask me.

Roxas: Thank you, Pence!

Hayner: (Nodded as Well) Yeah. I agree. It is impressive and all. (Puts on a Smug Smirk on his Face While Crossing his Arms Together) But I bet two of them, Xion and your two dads.

Roxas: (Glares at Hayner) No they're not!

Hayner: (Raised an Eyebrow at his Bro)

Roxas: ('Sighs in Defeat') Alright, fine. They are. But they still counts! (Turns to Pence) What about you, Pence? You any Valentine Cards of your own?

Pence: Nah..... (Looks Down on the Ground in Sadness) I got nothing this year.....As usual.......

Hayner: (Immediately Starts Feeling Bad For Pence) Ah dude.....

Roxas: (Frowns at Pence) I'm sorry, man.

Pence: (Suddenly Starts Chucking Lightly While Looking Back up Towards his Two Friends) I'm messing with you guys. (Pulls out Something From Both of his Pockets) I got three cards and a chocolate bar.

Roxas: ('Sighs in a Bit of Relief') Oh that's good hear.

Hayner: Neat.

????: 'Sup, Losers.

Hayner: (Turns to See Vantias Making his Way to the Him and the Gang) Well, whaddya know! The man of the hour is finally here!

Roxas: (Puts on a Smirk on his Face) And here I thought you weren't gonna show up.

Vantias: Well, I would've been here sooner if a bunch girls didn't try to follow me everywhere.

The trio eyes suddenly becomes widened in complete shock from what Vantias told them.

Roxas: I-I-I'm sorry. But.... You're....telling us that-

Hayner: A BUNCH OF GIRLS WAS FOLLOWING YOU!?

Vantias: (Starts Getting Confused and a Tad Bit Weirded Out by Hayner's Sudden Outburst) Uhh....Yeah. I mean, they didn't follow me all at once, but.....('Sigh') Okay. So when I went to the burger place to get myself something to eat, this one girl was following me, all shy like. Once I turned around and ask what she was doing, she gives me her Valentine card to me and just ran off. Then, when I actually went into the place, four or five other girls tried to stare at me and look away back and forth and then eventually, come up to my table and gave those cards to me before they started running away and.... squealing for some reason. And then, just when I started to walk out, a bunch of other girls suddenly appear in front of me and do the exactly same thing!

Pence: So they followed you around just so they can give you their Valentine cards?

Vantias: Exactly. That and candy. Which reminds me....(Toss Bag Filled With Valentine Cards and Candy onto the Ground)

Pence: (Surprised and Amaze at the Bag Right in Front of Him and the Others) Woah..........

Roxas: Holy shit, dude. You really weren't kidding.....

Vantias: Well, duh. Of course I wasn't kidding about all of this. But anyways, if any of you nerds want some candy, then be my guess.

Pence: (Smiles Excitedly as he Get Some Candy Out if the Bag) Don't have tell me twice!

Roxas: (Smirk Comes Back on his Face) Thanks, man. Namine's right. You really do have a heart.

Vantias: (Rolled his Eyes from Roxas' Comment While Blushing a Little) Whatever.

Hayner: (Eyes Still Widened at Vantias' Bag) (How?.....How in the hell did Vantias, of all people, got so many girls admiring him so easily!? Was it because of his edginess? Did his edgelord looking appearance actually got all the ladies to fall over heels for him!? Or maybe he cheated this entire time! Yeah! That HAS to be-)

Vantias: (Turns to Hayner) Hey, spike boy!

Hayner: (Comes Back to Reality) Oh! Uhh....Yeah?

Vantias: You want some candy or not? Don't really care either way.

Hayner: ('Sigh') Yeah. Sure.

?????: I'm here.

Pence: (Turn to See a Very Familiar Face) Olette. You're finally here.

Hayner: Yeah. What took you so long?

Olette: ('Sigh') Sorry. (Make her Way to the Group While Wearing a Light Orange Sun Dress) I forgot bring the Valentine cards for you guys, at home earlier. (Gives Valentine Card to Each of the Boys) So I went all the way back there to get them. (Hands the Last Card Over to Vantias....In a Sudden Shy Like Manner) I even got one for, Vantias....

Vantias: (Eyes Widened a Bit in Genuine Surprise) Wait. Really?

Olette: Yeah. I-It's thanks for hanging out with and stuff.....

Vantias: Oh. Well, it's....no problem or anything. I mean, in all honesty, you really don't have to thank me for that at all, now that I think about it.

Olette: I know, but...(Finally Starts to Blush) I still wanna do something nice for you. So....p-please accept my thanks, okay?

Vantias: (Rubbing his Head Back and Forth in a bit if Confusion) Oookay....If that's what you really wanted.....You look nice by the way.

Olette: (Eyes Widened in Genuine Surprise as her Blush Slightly Turns Bright Red) Y-You really think so?

Vantias: Yeah. Not sure if orange's your favorite color or not, but I still think it suits you at least.

Olette: (Smiles Softly) Aww~ Thanks, Vantias. I think you look great too.

Vantias: You think so? (Looks Down at his Black Loose Button Collared Shirt Before Looking Back at Olette) I'm only wearing everything black today. It's not really that special.

Olette: Are you kidding? You look great!.....(Continues Talking to Vantias)

Pence: (Witness the Entire Scene with the Others) So Olette has a crush on Vantias all along, huh?

Roxas: Did not see that one coming....(Turns to Hayner) What do you think, Hayner?

Hayner: (Eyes and Mouth Widened in a Complete Shock and Stand Still)...........

Roxas: Uhh...Hayner?

Pence: (Wave his Hand in front of a Stunt Hayner) Roxas, I think he's broken.

Roxas: (Sighs While Rolling his Eyes) Of course he is....

Pence: You wanna try snapping him back to reality?

Roxas: Nah. (Makes his way to Olette and Vantias) He'll come back to his senses eventually.

Pence: (Shrugs) Okay. (Follows Roxas Behind While Leaving Hayner in his Place)

@khtext

@26shann

@keyenuta

@cyber-wildcat

@miki-13

@italian-love-cake

@albion-93

@ma-lemons

[killscreencinema]

Kingdom Hearts 2 (PS2)

The year was 2005.  I had just graduated college and was going through a major dilemma on what I should do next (still struggling with that in fact!).  The new Doctor Who series had just finished its first season, forever reigniting my interest in the series, both new and old.  It was a tumultuous year to say the least, so the release of Kingdom Hearts 2 was a welcome diversion.

Skip to 2020, wherein I lost my job back in March, the United States has been nearly led to ruin by an outrageously mishandled pandemic, and Doctor Who kinda sucks nowadays (not because of Jodie Whittaker, whom I adore, but the writing is meh).  So what better time to revisit Kingdom Hearts 2 than now???

Well, specifically Kingdom Hearts 2.5 Remix Final Version 7 Medley HD Culmination... for the PS4.  But for all intents and purposes, I’m talking about Kingdom Hearts 2 for PlayStation 2.

The game begins with some jabroni we’ve never seen before named Roxas, hanging out with his friends in Twilight Town, when a mysterious man in dark robes keeps appearing and saying enigmatic things like, “It’s nearly time” and “Don’t you remember me, Sora?”  I have to admit, this really threw me during my original play through.  I had not played Chain of Memories, and Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days, which more thoroughly explains all of this shit, wouldn’t be released for me to completely ignore on DS until 2009. 

All is... relatively... cleared up shortly when Sora wakes up in a pod that he has been sleeping in after his adventure in Castle Oblivion in Chain of Memories.  Again, not having played that, I was thoroughly confused - why was he asleep?  Who is this girl Namine that seems responsible for Sora’s slumber?  WHAT IS HAPPENING???  As the game goes on, you find out that there’s a new threat to Disney world(s) besides the Heartless - a group called the Nobodies, led by black cloaked villains named Organization XIII.  Their goal is to make the plot unnecessarily convoluted... but also to claim “Kingdom Hearts” so they can regain their hearts and become fully human again.  

Who cares about all that, though, because Sora’s main objective is to find Riku and Kairi.  Again.  Are they really worth all the trouble?  Kairi is barely a character at all, while Riku was a traitorous shithead.  Sora, you can do better.

Anyway, the game plays very similarly to the first one, but the battle system his been completely overhauled with additional features like “Drive”, which allows you to switch into powerful “Forms” during a fight; and “Limits”, which are special moves you can perform with party members.  The biggest new feature, which the developers obviously based most of combat around, are the “React” commands that occur during battle.  At certain points during a fight, you can press triangle to perform a special counter attack or trigger a quick time event.  This is obviously the new hotness, as some boss fights are unwinnable if you don’t hit the react command in time, but thankfully the timing is incredibly merciful (just mash triangle until it triggers the event).  So it’s not as annoying as it could have been.

What is annoying is how bullshit a lot of the boss fights can be, especially the bonus ones at the end of the game.  Fighting any given member of Organization XIII can be hell, especially assholes like Luxord or Zexion, both of which take more luck than skill to defeat due to the nature of their gimmicky ass fights.  Those two aside, while defeating some of these bosses can be an unholy pain, they aren’t insurmountable as long as you “get gud” at the game’s somewhat janky blocking mechanic, which you’ll find to be the key to turning the tide of every major fight (especially against Sephiroth).  It’s all about finding the opportunity to get in some combos, but not getting too greedy or you’ll otherwise get caught up in the boss’s counter. 

The worlds you visit this time around are somewhat blander than the first game, if I’m being perfectly honest.  Mulan world is just feudal China with a Disney aesthetic and The Pirates of the Caribbean feel like a retread of the Neverland stage in the first game... but with far more irritating enemies.  The world I was most looking forward to, Pride Rock aka Lion King world, is a gray wasteland like at the end of the movie by the time you get there.  The only new world I truly enjoyed was Space Paranoids, aka Tron World, if only because I love the look of that movie, so it was a refreshing visual change of pace for the game.  You also revisit some worlds from the previous game, but with new story from their respective movies sprinkled in.  Whatever my complaints, I am eternally grateful that the game designers made the Atlantica episodes (Little Mermaid world) into a series of rhythm mini-games instead of having to fight as a mermaid again, which was a pain in the ass in the first game. 

One thing that got revamped and vastly improved, that caught me by surprise, was the Gummi Ship missions.  In the first game, they were mostly a nuisance - a dull mini-game you were forced to endure between worlds.  In Kingdom Hearts 2, they take on a much more epic scale, and are a lot more fun.  It almost felt like I was playing Starfox a couple times, which ain’t a bad thing! 

Overall, Kingdom Hearts 2 is a worthy enough sequel, but just doesn’t feel as grand or epic as the first.  Maybe because the novelty of the game’s concept isn’t as endearing this time around or maybe because this is the point in the series that the story begins to go off the rails.  I don’t rightly know, except that it felt like a mostly hollow gameplay experience the second time around, even with the difficulty cranked up to Critical Mode.  Can’t wait to play Kingdom Hearts 3! 

[starrattlerofprydain]

You Can Fly

Part of “My Special Somebody: Rokushi Drabbles” on AO3/ff.net

Summary: Roxas tries to cheer Xion up by taking her to Neverland.

Rating: G

Word Count:  4,358

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4

After completing his mission for the day, Roxas made his way up to the clock tower, ice cream in hand. Surely he expected to see his red-headed friend waiting for him there, but it was no surprise when his other friend was nowhere to be seen.

He was aware it wasn’t the first time Xion hadn’t shown up to the clock tower after work. He understood it was likely because she got caught up with something, or because she simply didn’t feel like showing up. But this time, something was nagging at the back of his mind. Not necessarily because it’s been a few days since they last hung out at their favorite spot, but because of what had happened when he finally spotted her in the Grey Area earlier that day.

It also hadn’t been the first time Xion was reprimanded by Saïx. Roxas wasn’t sure what he had against her; why he always made such negative remarks about her and treated her the way he did. Was it because he didn’t have a heart? Then again, no one in the Organization had hearts to begin with, so it really didn’t make any sense to him. All Roxas knew was that Saïx didn’t… no, he shouldn’t have the right to treat her so carelessly.

The boy angrily clenched his fists as he watched the scene in front of him. From what he managed to hear, Saïx refused to let her leave on a mission because she failed the task given to her in a previous mission. It didn’t help that hearing him call her “useless” and “a mistake” made Roxas’ blood boil and he wanted nothing more than to step in and tell him off.

Nevertheless, she was dismissed. With her head hung low, she walked right by Roxas without saying a word and made her way to her room.

“Roxas, get moving,” Saïx said in his usual monotone voice. “You have a mission to complete.”

“Yeah, I’m on it,” he spat.

Saïx paid no attention to his tone and sent him off on a solo mission to eliminate the Heartless in one of the worlds.

Roxas sighed at the memory as he sat down next to Axel on the clock tower later that day.

“Heya, Roxas,” Axel greeted, slightly waving the ice cream bar in his hand. “Xion not around?”

“No, haven’t seen her since this morning,” he looked down to his ice cream and sighed to himself, “I hope she’s alright.”

“Did something happen?”

“I guess you must have missed it but… Saïx said some things to her again. He didn’t even let her go on a mission today,” he paused, furrowing his brows. “I don’t get it. What does he have against her?”

Axel glanced at his friend and shrugged. “Well, you know how he is. That guy doesn’t like anyone.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean he has to be so harsh all the time, especially to Xion. It hurts seeing her so upset.”

“You know, for someone who doesn’t have a heart, you sure have a lot of feelings stuck in there,” he jokingly pointed to his chest, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

“I just really care about her…” Roxas glanced down before he continued, “Don’t you care about her too?”

“Of course I do, Roxas,” he said, lightly smacking the boy’s back. “You guys are my best friends, remember?”

“Right,” he nodded, giving Axel a faint smile.

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up over it,” he reassured, a smirk suddenly appearing on his face as he thought of an idea. “Tell you what, why don’t you try cheering her up?”

Roxas thought about his suggestion for a moment, thinking of one thing that always brought a smile to her face. “Like… give her a seashell? She seems to really like those.”

The red head shrugged lightly. “Well… yeah, you can do that if you’d like. But what do you think might make her really happy?”

Roxas then thought of the next thing that came to mind. “Eating ice cream…?”

Axel chuckled at his puzzled friend and shook his head. “You guys can share ice cream and seashells all you want. But what I’m trying say is to take her someplace new to unwind. Like for instance, you can take her to that Neverland world you and I were sent to a while back.”

“Neverland? You mean…” He trailed off as he remembered the reason Axel brought it up in the first place. He felt kind of dumb for not realizing it sooner. “Oh yeah… I could finally show her how to fly there!”

“You got it,” Axel nodded, taking a bite of his ice cream.

“You really think that will cheer her up?”

“I don’t see why not. Regardless, I’m sure she’ll appreciate whatever you do for her.”

“I guess you’re right…” He paused as he took a bite of his own treat. “I’ll tell her to meet us here tomorrow then, so we can all go together after work.”

“You two can go on without me.”

Roxas looked over to the red head, slightly disappointed. “You’re not gonna come with us?”

Axel noticed the look on the boy’s face and scratched his head.“Nah, I’ve got some things to take care of. I’ll tag along some other time.”

“Oh… okay.”

The two Nobodies sat in silence for the rest of the time as they watched the view in front of them while eating their ice cream. Once it started getting late, they decided to head back to the castle, eventually parting ways there.

Roxas was on his way to his room when his gaze fell upon Xion’s door not far from his. He considered checking up on her to make sure she was alright. Though before he did so, he quickly slipped inside his own room and took one of the few seashells Xion had given him, tucking it in his pocket.

The blond then made his way back out and walked over to Xion’s room, gently knocking on her door. “Xion? Are you there?”

The door opened and the first thing he spotted was Xion sitting on her bed, the bed sheets draped around her from head to toe.

“Xion…?”

She glanced up to Roxas before she quickly broke her gaze and brought her knees closer to her chest, pulling the sheets further down to hide her face. Roxas frowned at the sight. He took a step forward but stopped himself, wondering whether or not he should just let her be. He didn’t want to push the wrong buttons again, after all.

“Err… sorry if I’m bothering you but…” He trailed off when he suddenly heard some incoherent mumbles coming from her. “Huh?”

She peeked up and attempted to speak clearer. “I said it’s okay. You’re not bothering me.”

Roxas gave her a small, relieved smile and slowly approached her. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine. I’m just a little tired.”

He reluctantly scratched his head as he sat down next to her. “Sorry about what happened today…” Xion shifted slightly at the mention of that and he pursed his lips. “Hey, don’t believe what Saïx tells you. I know you’re not useless. You’re a lot more than that… At least to me you are. And Axel, too.”

She sat in silence until she turned to look at Roxas with hopeful eyes. “You really mean that?”

“Of course. We care about you, Xion.”

Xion gazed down and sighed softly to herself, feeling a little more relaxed at his words. Slowly, she pulled the sheets away from her head, revealing a gentle smile forming on her face. “Thank you, Roxas.”

He returned a smile of his own, not long before a chuckle escaped his lips when he noticed her hair was sticking out in different directions.

“What’s so funny?” she wondered.

“Nothing,” he shook his head. Before she questioned it any further, he rummaged through his pocket and pulled out the seashell. “Here, I brought you this.”

“A seashell,” she grinned, gladly taking the tiny object and looking at it with glee.

“Thought it might cheer you up a bit.”

Her smile gradually turned into a frown as a thought occurred to her. “Sorry for not showing up to the clock tower these past days.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he shrugged. At the mention of that, he recalled the conversation he had with Axel earlier that day. “Actually, I was wondering if you’ll be able to go tomorrow. There’s something I wanna show you.”

Xion considered it for a brief moment before she smiled softly at him. “I’ll try to be there.”

A small wave of relief washed over him as he stood up from the bed, his gaze still fixed on her. “I’m gonna get going now. Try to get some rest, okay?”

“Mmhmm, I’ll see you tomorrow,” she nodded as Roxas made his way over to the door. He turned around slightly to see Xion waving goodbye to him, followed by him returning the favor. And with that, he returned to his room, hoping the next day will make up for the rough one she had.

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The following morning came around quickly. Roxas eventually exited his room and headed over to the Grey Area, immediately spotting a few of the Organization members sitting around. But there was no sign of Xion. Wherever she was, he only hoped she was feeling better.

Roxas snapped out of his brief thoughts when he saw Saïx approaching him with a piercing look. His expression never failed to make Roxas feel uneasy. “I’ve assigned another solo mission for you today. Be sure to make your preparations before you proceed.”

He looked up at the older Nobody and knit his brows. “What about Xion?”

Saïx narrowed his eyes slightly. “That should be no concern of yours right now.”

“Why can’t you just give her another chance?” he pressed on, ignoring his remark.

“We’ve given Xion more than enough chances. The defective creature will only be getting in our way.”

Suddenly, Roxas gritted his teeth and snapped, “Quit calling her that! She’s not defective. We all make mistakes sometimes.”

The blue-haired man seemed unfazed, his expression never changing. “Then I expect you and everyone else to work harder so we can prevent making any more mistakes.”

“And you’re not gonna let Xion try to work harder!?”

“That will be enough of this discussion, Roxas,” he said coldly, “Now be on your way.”

Roxas clenched his fists and grumbled in frustration as he stormed off to prepare himself for his mission. Meanwhile, Axel had just entered the room and strolled over to him.

“Morning, Roxas,” he waved, only to be glared at by his friend. “Sheesh, looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”

The red head glanced over to Saïx before looking back to Roxas, crossing his arms. “Let me guess, Saïx has something to do with this?” Roxas let out an exasperated sigh as Axel put a hand on the blond’s shoulder. “I’ll try to talk to him.”

Roxas managed to relax at the mention of that. “You will?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. Just go ahead and do your mission.”

He gave Axel a weak smile as he finished up his preparations and took off to complete his mission for the day.

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“That takes care of that,” Roxas said as he dismissed the Keyblade from his hand. He grinned to himself as he thought about seeing Xion that day. He couldn’t wait to go to a new world with her.

As soon as he finished, Roxas hurried back through the Corridor of Darkness and eventually ended up at his next destination; the one and only Twilight Town. From there, the boy then eagerly ran over to the tower. As he approached the building, he immediately spotted a figure sitting on the ledge. Roxas beamed at the sight and quickly headed over to the stairs leading to the top.

After what seemed like forever racing up all those steps, he finally turned the corner and saw his friend waiting there for him. “Xion! You’re… you’re here…” he spoke in between breaths, giving her a toothy grin.

Xion noticed his condition and laughed to herself. “Did you just run up here?”

“I did…” Once his breathing was almost back to normal, he walked over to the girl and sat next to her. “I’m just glad you made it.”

Xion couldn’t help but give Roxas a cheerful smile. “So how was your mission?”

“It was a breeze,” he said confidently, “I just had to eliminate some Heartless in Agrabah.”

“That’s good,” she nodded.

“How’d you spend your day? Saïx didn’t give you a hard time, did he?” He slightly furrowed his brows as he thought back to their dispute earlier that day.

“No, not necessarily,” she shook her head, her smile never leaving her face. “I’m actually gonna be sent on missions again starting tomorrow.”

Roxas’ face suddenly lit up. “You are?”

“Mmhmm, Saïx spoke to me about that today. I just told him I will do my best.”

“That’s great, Xion!” he beamed at her. He wondered if Axel somehow managed to convince Saïx to finally let her go. He made a mental note to thank him later.

She nodded happily before she briefly turned to look in the opposite direction. “Do you know if Axel is coming?”

“Right, about that… he said he had something he had to take care of. So… I guess not?”

“Oh... well, I figured we should wait, in case you wanted to show him whatever it is you wanted to show me as well. But since he’s not coming—”

“Actually, it’s just for you,” Roxas interrupted, sheepishly scratching his head.

“Oh…” Xion let his statement sink in for a moment before an avid smile crept to her face. She shuffled closer to Roxas as she eagerly stared at him with her big, blue eyes. “Okay… what did you want to show me then?”

Roxas acknowledged how close she was to him but he went along with it, grinning in return. “Just a little something. Err… it’s not here though. We have to go there first.”

She curiously stared at the blond as he stood up from his spot, Xion doing the same after a few moments. “Where to?”

“Well uh… it’s a surprise! C’mon.” Roxas then took her hand and began to lead her back down the clock tower.

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The two Nobodies stepped out of the dark corridor and ended up on a small, grassy island surrounded by a large body of water. By the time they arrived to the world, Roxas noticed they made it just before the sun began to set.

Meanwhile, Xion looked around her new surroundings in awe. “Wow... what is this place?”

“Neverland,” he said as he watched her radiant expression.

“The sunset here looks pretty,” she grinned, her eyes never leaving the view of the sun’s rays reflecting off the sea ahead of them. It reminded her of Destiny Islands.

“Yeah. I’ve been here a few times already, but this is the first time I’m seeing it like this.” He wanted to keep watching the view but he had to remind himself the reason they went there. Regardless, he still needed some of that magic dust to fly… and so far, he saw no sign of the pixie that made it all possible.

Xion noticed his gaze darted all over the place and she looked at him questionably. “Is there something wrong, Roxas?”

“No, I’m just… looking for something…” He paused and glanced at her to rephrase himself. “Well, someone actually.”

“Who?” As if on cue, a small, glowing figure suddenly appeared in front of Xion’s face, causing her to squeak and jump in surprise.

Roxas grinned at the pixie’s presence. “Oh, there you are! I was hoping you’d show up.”

Once Xion composed herself, she examined the fairy, who had been curiously staring back at the raven-haired girl. “Sorry about that,” she said to the pixie, laughing softly. “And who are you?”

Roxas took a few steps forward and introduced the small creature to his friend. “That’s Tinker Bell. She helped me get around this place.”

“It’s nice to meet you Tinker Bell. I’m Xion,” she smiled as the pixie seemed to show interest in the girl.

“Huh, she seems to like you. I can’t say the same thing about Axel though,” he chuckled, recalling the memory of the red head mistaking her for a bug at first glance.

“Axel knows her too?”

“Yeah, we came here on a mission once.”

“Lucky,” she pouted, “I wish I can be sent here. I can see why you wanted to show it to me.”

An eager grin immediately formed on Roxas’ face. “Oh, you haven’t seen anything yet!”

“Huh?” Before she was able to question it any further, Roxas tried to get Tinker Bell’s attention.

“Hey, can you do the thing?” He asked, hoping the fairy understood what he was getting at.

Luckily Tinker Bell seemed to catch on right away as she immediately zipped around Roxas and sprinkled her pixie dust on him before she made her way over to Xion and did the same for her.

Xion watched in fascination as the glowing dust fell on them, even though she wasn’t quite sure what it was for. It was at that moment that Xion was caught off guard when she saw Roxas unexpectedly hovering above the ground.

“Ta-daaah!”

Her eyes widened as she let out a small gasp. “Roxas! Y-You’re flying!”

He beamed at her reaction and nodded, “Yeah! Remember when I told you Axel and I flew?”

Xion nodded as she continued to stare up at the blond in astonishment. Now that she thought of it, she wasn’t sure why she didn’t remember that any sooner.

“I’ve been wanting to show it to you. Go on, try it out! Just think ‘I can fly’ and… well, you’ll see.”

The girl snapped out of her daze and laughed softly to herself. “That’s it…? Okay, I’ll try…” Xion took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she tried to focus on that specific thought.

I can fly… I can fly… I can…

Before she knew it, Xion felt weightless. Her eyes snapped open and she saw her feet were no longer touching the ground. She couldn’t believe it. She was actually flying!

“I did it! I can fly! I can- whoa!” she fell forward, almost crashing into Roxas. She managed to grasp onto his arms as she tried to balance herself in mid-air.

“Whoa, easy there!” Roxas laughed, nearly fumbling with her grip.

She giggled sheepishly, “I guess it’s harder than it looks.”

“Nah, you’ll get the hang of it in no time. Here, I’ll help you out.” He took her hand as he briefly glanced over to Tinker Bell, flashing her a small smile of appreciation. The tiny creature waved to the two of them before she zoomed off. And with that, they proceeded to slowly glide across the island.

Xion suddenly felt her stomach flip as they reached past the edge of the cliff; the sea was now just below their feet. She tightened her grip on Roxas’ hand out of instinct.

Roxas glanced over to her and chuckled softly, “It’s okay, Xion.” His reassuring look calmed her down and with that, she slightly loosened the grip from his hand.

“Sorry,” she apologized with a timid smile. “Let’s keep going.”

He nodded and continued to guide her through the open area, eventually picking up the pace. Meanwhile, Xion tried to take everything in; the beautiful scenery, the breeze gently hitting her face, and the fact that she had been soaring above it all. Despite the fluttery feeling she felt in her stomach, she couldn’t help but smile widely as they flew in the sky full of orange hues.

They soon came to a stop in mid-air as Roxas turned around to check up on her; the first thing he noticed was how blissful she looked at that moment. He smiled cheerfully at that.

“Having fun?”

She shyly glanced at him and nodded, slowly letting go of his hand. “I think I can fly on my own now.”

“Are you sure?”

“Mmhmm.”

The two Nobodies quietly hovered freely in place, almost unaware they were just floating there doing nothing other than staring at each other.

Roxas was the first one to break the silence. “Uhh… hey, why don’t we play a game? Wanna race?”

“Hmm, sure!” Xion quickly nodded as she floated right in front of him, nearly closing the space between the two. Before Roxas was able to question her, a playful smile formed on her lips. “Just as long as I can get a head start!” Suddenly, she reached over his shoulders and abruptly pulled the coat’s hood over his face, immediately flying away after that.  

“Wha—hey!” Roxas pouted as he quickly pushed the hood off of his head and went after her. The air was suddenly filled with their laughs; her angelic laugh being something he could listen to all day.

Roxas wanted nothing more than for all of this to last forever.

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By the time they finished enjoying themselves, the sun had almost disappeared from the horizon. But neither of them wanted to leave just yet. Instead, they decided to sit peacefully on the same grassy cliff they had been to previously as they watched the stars slowly appearing in the twilight sky.

“It’s so beautiful,” Xion said softly, admiring the sight before her. “We don’t get to see the stars like this very often.”

“Yeah,” Roxas nodded in agreement, his gaze fixed on the sky as well.

The girl turned to look at him with a sincere smile. “Thank you for bringing me here, Roxas. I had an amazing time. I… I really needed it.”

He met her gaze and couldn’t resist smiling back. “Anything to cheer you up. I just don’t like seeing you upset, you know?”

Xion’s shoulders dropped slightly at his words. “I’m sorry.”

“What for? It’s not your fault.”

She glanced down, folding her hands in her lap. “I just don’t want you worrying about me all the time.”

“I told you already, Xion. I care about you. I’m always willing to do whatever it takes to help you feel better.” His gaze fell down to her hands and he reached out, placing one of his hands on her own. “It’s okay.”

“You really don’t have to go through all that trouble, Roxas…” she paused as a small smile gradually returned to her lips, “But I appreciate everything you’ve done for me so far.”

Roxas simply shrugged before a grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. “That’s what friends are for, right?”

She nodded, “And I’m glad to have you as my friend. You’re sweet.”

Roxas’ face reddened slightly at her compliment. He suddenly pulled his hand back and chuckled softly as he tried to compose himself, his gaze eventually falling back on her. “Heh, I’m glad you think so.”

They smiled warmly at each other, neither of them breaking eye contact . It was strange— even though Roxas didn’t have a heart, he couldn’t help but notice the warmth he felt on the inside whenever he was with Xion. It was something he couldn’t quite explain but oddly enough, he didn’t want the feeling to go away.

It wasn’t long before Xion noticed the proximity between them and suddenly, she felt a fluttery sensation in the pit of her stomach— almost like she had still been flying. She abruptly broke their gaze as she glanced down thoughtfully.

“Roxas? Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, what is it?”

She momentarily fiddled with her fingers as she went on. “Does your stomach feel funny when you’re flying up in the air?”

Roxas didn’t say anything as he pondered her question. It was kind of out of nowhere, that was for sure, but he supposed it made some sense. Even after he’s gotten used to flying, he couldn’t help but feel the same sensation every time. “Now that you mention it… yeah, it does. Why? Did it feel that way for you?”

“Mmhmm…” she fell silent for a moment before she continued. “It’s just… I feel like that again right now. Do you feel like that too…?”

He slightly pursed his lips, now wondering if the warmth he felt on the inside when he was with her was actually just his stomach acting up. He sheepishly laughed at the thought. “Yeah… kind of weird, huh? I sometimes feel like that whenever I’m around you,” he added, before realizing she might take that the wrong way. “Err… not that it’s a bad thing… I think. I don’t really know why I feel like that, to be honest.”

Xion giggled softly, her eyes falling back on his. “I think I know what you mean.”

“You do?” He gave her a timid smile, acknowledging the warmth on his cheeks again.

Xion nodded slowly, her own cheeks flushing at their closeness. Suddenly, as if it were out of instinct, she leaned in close to his face and pressed her lips against his warm cheek. But she immediately caught herself and quickly pulled away, realizing what she did… except she didn’t know what she did, let alone why she did it.

As if things weren’t already confusing enough for Roxas, he noticed whatever Xion did made his stomach stir even more. They both looked at each other wide-eyed as he brought his hand to his flushed cheek almost at the same time she brushed her gloved fingers over her lips.

The two Nobodies continued to share a baffled gaze but Xion couldn’t contain herself much longer and eventually broke into a fit of laughter. Roxas let out a nervous chuckle at her random outburst and soon joined her, his laughter gradually becoming more relaxed. He wasn’t sure what had just happened or why they were laughing, but he didn’t care anymore. So long as she looked happy. And that’s really all that mattered to him.

[destinyislandwanderer]

What’s a Kiss? (Fluffy/Angsty Axel/Roxas OneShot)

Fandom: Kingdom Hearts

Rating: T

[This is legit my first Tumblr post - am I doing this right?]

Roxas had been acting weird today. Even though he wasn’t an expert at emotions, Axel could sense it.

Unlike the other members of the Organization who tended to bully Roxas for his small stature and young age (with a few exceptions), Axel adored him and had become his closest confidante. Roxas had been born without any of Sora’s memories, so he’d had to rely on Axel to learn everything from basic vocabulary to the social skills it took to succeed in the Organization.

But what did he care about all of them? Protecting Roxas was his first priority now. He arrived at the clock tower with two sea salt ice creams, a daily tradition, and handed one to Roxas. He blushed when Axel made eye contact with him, and he knew his best friend must be hiding something.

“What’s up, Roxas?”

Roxas glanced at him before staring at his lap.

“C’mon, you know you can tell me anything,” Axel assured him.

"Yes, well, I… Can I ask you something?" Roxas said, studiously avoiding eye contact.

"Of course. What can I explain for you today? I don’t know what else to say about that huge whale we saw in the sky the other day. It didn’t make sense to me either, but apparently Demyx has been inside it, and it sounds bonkers. He said there’s an old man and an actual living puppet stuck inside, but we all know Demyx tends to exaggerate so who can say for sure? Maybe I can figure out a way to take you there if you really want to go.”

“No, it’s not about that… It’s something Xigbar and Larxene said.”

“I swear, they are going to burn next time I see them. I hate the way they gang up on you!” Axel had too much angry energy to contain. He started pacing, debating how much trouble he could get in for starting a fight. He’d warned them both to lay off Roxas before. Maybe it would take a more poignant physical reminder to make them get the point.

Roxas stood up and took his arm. “Axel, wait - it’s nothing bad. It’s just… they asked if I’d kissed anyone, and I don’t know what that means. They were teasing me about it.”

“Oh,” Axel said, immediately calming down. Roxas leaned against the clock tower facing Axel, who did the same. “Well, it’s not important. Just ignore them. I bet they were just trying to get a rise out of you.”

“You’re not going to tell me what a kiss is?”

“Uhh…”

“Ugh. I honestly didn’t even know if I should ask you. It’s embarrassing that I haven’t done it, right?”

His genuine distress was so endearing, and Axel couldn’t make him think he was some kind of freak for not having kissed anyone.

“A lot of people haven’t kissed anyone before. You’re young. You’ll kiss someone. I’m sure of it.”

“Have you… kissed someone?”

“Er, yeah…”

Roxas looked disappointed, and Axel took a step closer.

“It’s seriously no big deal.”

“But what is a kiss?”

Axel wasn’t sure how far to entertain this train of thought. Roxas was young and completely innocent, and Axel didn’t want to do anything to ruin that. Not that he hadn’t thought about it. There was no denying that Roxas was attractive, and Axel had a particularly soft spot for blondes.

The problem was that he was supposed to protect Roxas, and he was already doing a bad job of it. Between the missions at Castle Oblivion and the things Saix was forcing him to do in secret, he wasn’t always making Roxas’s life easier. He kept promising himself he wouldn’t let Saix and Xemnas do anything to harm his best friend, but he had to keep up a facade to please them, and sometimes it required sacrifices. He still felt guilty about it no matter how hard he tried to justify his actions.

“Nevermind. I shouldn’t have asked,” Roxas mumbled.

Axel couldn’t stand how upset he looked. “It’s when two people touch lips,” he revealed.

“What?” Roxas exclaimed, as though this were the most surprising and silly thing he’d ever heard. “That’s all? Seems kind of… I don’t know. They made it sound more important.”

Axel was afraid Roxas was going to be bullied further if he continued without the particulars, so he clarified, “Well, it’s… I guess it’s more than that. You kiss someone when you like them.”

“Hmmm… Well, I like you. Why haven’t we kissed?”

His expression was so innocent. He had no idea what he was really asking and no concept of the fire it was lighting in Axel’s imagination. He decided to evade the question. “When you kiss someone, it changes your relationship with that person forever.” Perhaps Roxas would just accept this explanation and move on, and Axel could keep being his best friend and his hero and nothing more. Or maybe…

“What does it feel like ? I mean what makes it so special?” Roxas’s eyes were looking at him with an imploring intensity. Could he possibly know more than he was letting on? Axel wasn’t sure, but he felt Roxas’s eyes daring him down a dangerous path.

“It’s not something that can really be explained.”

“Can’t you try?” Their faces were moving closer together, and he couldn’t fight temptation much longer.

“I think I’d have to show you for you to really understand.”

“Show me,” Roxas whispered, and the invitation was all he needed.

He closed the distance between them and planted a chaste but lingering kiss on Roxas’s lips. He moved away to gauge Roxas’s reaction, and the awe and raw emotion in his eyes was so tender and sweet, he couldn’t stop himself. He placed one hand gently on the side of his neck, softly braiding his fingers through Roxas’s hair as he placed a series of deep kisses on his throat. The small gasps he let out each time Axel’s lips touched his skin were so satisfying, he was overcome by desire as he pressed his lips to Roxas’s again, fully parting them with enough force to will Roxas’s mouth to mimic the movements of his own. As with everything else Axel taught him, Roxas didn’t need much training. Axel felt as though all his past lovers had been mere practice for this moment, so he could give Roxas the perfect first kiss. Never had he been so in sync with a lover, never had someone reciprocated his effort with so much of their own. It felt like Axel’s first kiss too.

“That’s not what I expected,” Roxas whispered.

“Yeah, me either,” Axel smiled. “You’re good at that, you know.”

Roxas smiled back, and Axel felt dizzied by the beautiful sight.

“Can I ask you something else without you getting mad?”

“Sure.”

“Do you really not know what happened to Zexion?”

Axel panicked because he did know. Axel had murdered him. He’d only done it because Saix had forced his hand and insisted that Roxas would be next if he hesitated. The problem was, Zexion had been one of the only Organization members who was nice to Roxas. Roxas had liked him and gone out of his way to say so. Axel hadn’t wanted to do it. How much of the truth did Roxas suspect, and what could Axel possibly say in his own defense?

“Nevermind, Axel,” Roxas sighed. “You told me you don’t know. I should’ve believed you. It’s just, I have dreams about him. I just wonder if he’s okay. Sometimes I worry…”

Axel had never felt this level of gut-wrenching regret. It was visceral and painful, and he couldn’t stand looking into Roxas’s sweet eyes, knowing what he’d done. He felt horrible for kissing him. He’d known it was a bad idea. He’d told himself to resist, and he’d been so good about it until today. Roxas deserved someone better than him.

“Roxas, I should go.”

“No, please don’t! I promise, I believe you. I don’t even know why I thought of it,” he pleaded.

“It’s not that, Roxas. I just think maybe we shouldn’t meet up here anymore.” Seeing Roxas’s defeated expression, he added, “It’s nothing you did wrong. Trust me. I just…”

He bounded down the clock tower steps and opened a portal back to Organization headquarters, rushing to his room where he fell down on his knees and felt a familiar sensation that he recognized from Lea’s memories. It was the desire to cry, but he couldn’t do it. There was no release from the torture he felt. He kicked his nightstand instead and the metal lamp clattered to the floor. He found the destruction so satisfying, he threw it against the wall before slumping into his chair.

He should definitely avoid Roxas in the future, but after a kiss like that, how could he?

(Spoiler Alert: He can’t. Axel has zero self-control when it comes to innocent little Roxas <3 If you liked this little niblet, it’s an accompaniment to my novel-length Axel/Roxas love story that I’m updating regularly)

[complicatedandstained]

358 Nights: The Poker Night That Never Was, Part 3: Pretty Things

They can smell it before they can see it—the delightfully rank aroma of rotting fish and the spike of salt air. The streetlamp above Axel and Roxas has long since been shattered to bits, but the island’s night air, split open with a silver knife of moon, is far brighter than the dark corridor the pair have passed through to get there, so they stand still for a moment, just blinking. 

They turn to each other, crinkling their noses against the stench. Axel tugs at the material of his coat nearest his thighs, showering the cobblestones underfoot with Agrabah sand, and Roxas chuckles, patting the sleeves of his own coat to free it from grime that had once coated the basement of the Beast’s Enchanted Castle.

Roxas stops patting puffs of dust from his uniform when Axel abruptly reaches for his cheek. At first Roxas thinks Axel’s going to caress it, and then, as the man’s fingers twitch, he thinks Axel is going to pinch him, which is usually more Larxene or Xigbar’s department, but fine. 

Instead, Axel gently plucks something from his skin. It catches the light for a moment and Roxas sees the faint glisten of an intricate spider’s web passing through the air before settling on the back of Axel’s hand.

“Ahg. Gross,” Axel says, voice quiet in the darkness, shaking the offensive strands free.

“I don’t know,” Roxas responds thoughtfully, just as quiet. “I think they’re kind of beautiful.” The web tangles and drops to the cobblestone, and Roxas stares for a second, almost disappointed.  

Axel chuckles and briefly rubs his knuckles below Roxas’ chin. Axel can feel his chest warming, breathing in the same air as this impossible piece of nothing who can find the bright spot in everything, even Axel himself. “Of course you do.”

After spending his day baking in the oven that was Agrabah, Axel welcomes the nip of the wind yanking at his coat like it wants him naked, but he can tell Roxas, who spent the better part of his day fending off the soul-sucking Heartless that swarm the dank smelling, drafty, damp castle basement of the Beast, does not appreciate it quite so much. Roxas’ shoulders slump against the insistent tug and with every sharp breeze, he grits his teeth to ward off the shivers he thinks Axel wouldn’t be able to resist teasing him about.

With each step Roxas veers slightly closer to Axel, until Roxas’ shoulder collides with Axel’s chest. Axel chuckles a bit, and then drapes both arms over Roxas’ shoulders, like a heavy scarf. As Axel’s unnaturally strong heat seeps into Roxas’ bones, Axel feels him relax against him despite his initial surprise at being held in such a public, albeit empty, location.

Abruptly, Axel shifts his hands until he’s hugging Roxas’ neck, one elbow locked over the other in a loose chokehold. Roxas yelps, halting, and Axel stops along with him, leaning forward to rest his chin in Roxas’ hair, soft as ever despite the lingering layer of dust.

 Axel chuckles, low, slow. “What’s wrong?” he whispers into Roxas’ ear. “Chilly?”

Roxas mumbles something unintelligible into the material of Axel’s sleeve, and Axel laughs again, just a quick exhale, pressing the fabric closer to make Roxas huff, and then pulling it away. 

“I’m sorry,” Axel taunts quietly, “were you saying something?”

Golden eyebrows furrow. “I will fug you up,” Roxas says, words somewhat less muffled, no doubt a direct quote from one of the other Org members, though not quite as tough as he had hoped. This is made all the more ridiculous because Axel knows Roxas very well could take him down, if the other keyblade wielder’s powers were any indication. 

Axel tries to push thoughts of Sora from his mind. Just a kid... It makes him remember what guilt felt like, and even though the full weight of it can no longer freeze up his chest, it’s not exactly pleasant. 

Roxas shifts his head to glare up into the green eyes darting playfully as they take in Roxas’ piss poor impression of anger. Axel’s not sure he’s even fully convinced Roxas has reached actual irritation.

“I’m shaking in my boots, Roxas.”

Roxas’ arms cross. He wriggles around to face Axel and better hit him with his glare, and Axel gives him the extra room to do so, his arms stretching out a bit, his thin lips drastically pulling up on one side.

Roxas’ chin juts up. “Good.”

Axel leans forward until their noses brush. He exhales, a white puff of air that bridges the distance between their lips. His eyes seem a darker green in the evening shadows. He stops smiling. “Good,” Axel echoes.  

Roxas can’t contain his grin, and then, fast as he would dive at a Heartless with his blade, he’s tilting his head, rising up on his toes.  His hands cup Axel’s jaw, rough with auburn stubble, and he presses their lips together. It’s not the bittersweet tingle of sea salt that they’re used to, or the familiar staleness of morning breath. Axel tastes like hot sand and Roxas like damp earth. But somehow that makes the moment feel all the realer. Not something dazed or dreamy that could slip away any second, but something concrete and imperfect: something real, something theirs.

Axel’s arms wrap tighter around Roxas’ upper and lower back, pressing their torsos together like he thinks if he tries hard enough, they can melt into each other completely.

They only pull apart when they recognize the distant explosion of music and drunken chatter as the sound of a pub door being open and shut. The cacophony reminds them of their destination and the time crunch they were already on before they stopped.

Roxas sighs and turns back around, Axel’s arms still barring his chest and waist, and begins to take heavy steps to maneuver them forward, though Axel’s heels drag the first few feet.

But, it being Tortuga, and Roxas being Roxas, Axel knows it will not be long before his steps slow, and Axel’s pace has to quicken to make up for it. Axel doesn’t mind. He kind of adores Roxas’ constant state of distraction, his abrupt fascination with window displays and passing strangers and snippets of sound. 

Maybe because of his amnesia, Roxas seems to have retained more curiosity, interest, passion for life than the other Nobodies, and Axel can’t help but find it amusing, hell—mildly intoxicating—to get sucked into. He’s grown used to Roxas asking a million questions, stupid or brilliant and seemingly nothing in between. 

He likes that Roxas thinks Axel has all the answers. He even likes when Roxas shows a flicker of the growing realization that Axel doesn’t have all the answers. Then again, there’s not much about Roxas he doesn’t like.

However, Roxas has seen Tortuga before on multiple occasions and walks with surprising intent. It’s not until they pass a hatter’s shop that his pace begins to flag, eyes shifting off to the side more and more often, head starting to tilt. Axel is forced to suppress a fond sigh.

“You want one?”                                                                                             

The window’s nothing special as far as Axel’s concerned. A bare bones wooden shelf displays rows of captains’ and sailors’ hats in chestnut brown, night black, and ash gray leathers, festooned with all manners of ribbons, feathers, brooches, and embroidery. But for Roxas, who has no memory of owning something of his own, aside from his standard issue Organization coat, slacks, and boots, and a few stray popsicle sticks, Axel can see that it means more. 

“It’s stupid,” Roxas says, though his eyes linger, because he’s used to being told anything that he takes an interest in is, by the other members, certainly, if not by an unthinking Axel himself.

“If liking pretty things is stupid,” Axel squeezes Roxas’ shoulder, and a lick of flame springs to life in his free hand to illuminate fair skin, fire blue eyes, the faintest sweep of freckles, “how ‘bout, we can both be stupid together?”

Roxas’ cute little nose crinkles, his lip quirks up, eyes narrowing. “You don’t like pretty things.”

Axel’s face tilts closer to Roxas’, his smile mild, his words more whisper than sound and more to himself than to Roxas, “Says the boy I take to the top of a clocktower every damn day so I can watch the light of the sunset play in his hair.”

Roxas’ chest does that hot mushy thing, that thing like his arm’s been clawed open, but on the inside. He smiles so hard it hurts.

Axel closes his glove around the flame and the light goes out, Roxas’ dark lashes fluttering as his eyes attempt to readjust. Axel straightens and shifts behind Roxas, resting his chin atop Roxas’ head again.

Roxas tilts his head up searching for eyes, hunter green in the sinking evening, Axel’s sharp features, all highlighted with affection and concern like no one else has ever shown him. And Roxas has been told over and over that the emotions shown by a Nobody aren’t real, that they’re just a reflection, an echo of what used to be, but when it’s Axel showing them, he can’t bring himself to care. 

Axel’s smiles, laughs, and kisses may be edged with briars of hollowness, reluctance, distance, but at the end of the day, they’re the only smiles, laughs, and kisses anybody’s ever given him. Maybe they’re not supposed to be enough, but they are. And maybe he’s not supposed to believe them, but he does. 

Maybe it’s like Xigbar says and Axel’s possessiveness isn’t really love. (Whatever the fuck love is.) But if it isn’t, Roxas doesn’t want to know. 

If it isn’t, he figures it’s close enough.

Roxas’ words aren’t much more than a whisper, either, “I think you’re pretty, too.”

Axel’s smile slips, taken aback, but he recovers in half a second, smirks. “Well, whaddaya know?” He lifts his chin, ruffling Roxas’ perpetually messy hair, before linking their arms together and drawing him a few steps closer to the hat shop. “C’mon, let’s step inside for just a minute.”

Pulled out of the moment with a sharp laugh, Roxas’ heels drag, catching against the dirty cobblestones of the street. “But it’s locked!”

“Roxas,” Axel claps Roxas’ arm, words wheedling as ever, “you wield the key-blade, not the but-it’s-locked-blade.”

Roxas grimaces, glancing down the dimly lit street though the pub they’re headed toward isn’t yet in sight. He notes no Heartless, no obstructions. It won’t take them long to get where they’re going. But… “Luxord won’t be happy if we’re late.”

“Eh.” Axel shrugs. “We’re already late.”

Roxas stares at him for a second and then his gaze returns to the window, the hats, all that flair and personality and glossy leather. He grins brightly, his keyblade materializing in his hand in a brief flash of golden light. “Okay. But we’re just going to look.”

“Of course, we are.”

*           * 

The hat shop is dark and smells like shoe polish and sunned leather. Axel lights another flame in his gloved hand to illuminate a space crowded with sun-bleached shelves and tables, dapper manikins, and tilting racks sporting its wares. A lone cutlass hangs just above the door and sand smatters across tired wooden floorboards.

Their resolution to just look lasts approximately zero seconds, as Axel grabs the first hat within grabbing distance and, with flourish, caps Roxas’ head. As Roxas turns to search for a mirror, the leather immediately slips in front of his eyes, setting them both into a quiet fit of giggles. 

It takes a fair bit of searching—both grateful for their practiced, quiet steps on the warped, creaky floorboards—before they locate hats in a small enough size that the petite young man can wear them without his vision being obscured. 

After parading Roxas before the mirror in increasingly absurd styles, each more feathery and frilly than the last, Axel finds a sturdy, glossy brown tricorn, a reliable, trusty hat, its only ornament stitched X’s on either side. This one suits Roxas just so, his nervous smile twitching into something real.  

Humming, he runs his thumb across the bottom rim, tilting it ever so slightly. He meets his own eye in the mirror, and then Axel’s. “This one.”

“That one,” Axel agrees. 

“Your turn.” 

Axel takes a step back, raising his palms in half-hearted argument. “I don’t need—” 

But Roxas has set off, away from the mirror, at a determined pace, and Axel just shakes his head, watching the strong cut of Roxas’ back as he shifts, lifts, and replaces hats on this shelf and that one. Eventually, Roxas finds his way to the front window, and Axel paces just after him, once again filling his hand with a small flame to illuminate their way. 

After staring for a long while, Roxas selects a single elegant ebony captain’s hat from the center of the display. Its edges are rimmed with a delicate dark gold embroidery and just above the left ear sits an elegant emerald feather with gold accents, just the shade of Axel’s eyes. 

“This one,” Axel realizes, accepting the hat Roxas sets into his hands, and placing it above his unkempt red curls. 

Roxas nods. “That one.” He catches Axel’s hand in his and tugs him over to the scratched, speckled, but probably once beautiful, looking glass he’d modeled in front of a few minutes earlier.

Axel looks fierce and fine at once, the plume and his violet tattoos offering just a hint of the exotic. Roxas can’t seem to tear his eyes away, Axel notices with an unexpectedly warm feeling.

“We could almost be,” Roxas tilts his head, trying to decide how to phrase it, “...like everybody else…” 

“Roxas…” Axel’s voice takes on a careful warning, turning away from their reflections to face the real thing, “we can’t ever really—” A flash of gold flickers in the corner of his vision, sending a cool prickle up his spine. The thoughts evaporate as he whirls, a chakram appearing in his hand as he crouches. 

Roxas is quick to follow suit, scanning the area Axel’s edging in on, until he spots an itty-bitty Shadow climbing out of the floor, off in a shadowy corner near the cash register. Ordinarily, Axel would evaporate it and be done with the matter, but he can’t risk sending the building up in flames. 

He gives his chakram a spin and steps closer, directing his next words to the tiny monster, “Didn’t anybody tell you it’s our night off?”

“Careful,” Roxas cautions, but Axel’s already tossed his weapon, his aim true, and the little Heartless fizzles out in a fine black mist, the chakram clanging loudly as it plunges into the wall beyond.

Immediately, they hear the scrape of claws and a stern bark, which resonates throughout the entire room. 

“Shit,” Axel curses. 

A large, fluffy white dog surges forward from the shadows where it had been deep in slumber, reminding Roxas warily of the massive purple and green dog-like Heartless that had near squashed him with their girth just hours prior. Jangling rings high in their ears as the dog is stopped abruptly, a chain attached to the collar around its neck going taut. The dog goes silent, surprised.

“Thank the gods,” Axel hisses, backing away, his chakram reappearing in his hands. Roxas follows after, backpedaling swiftly, his keyblade materializing in a dazzling shower of light. 

This turns out to be too much for the dog, which begins yapping once more with vigor. 

“Shit.”

A staircase occupies the far side of the wall, and atop it, lights flicker on. No longer concerned with stepping lightly, Axel and Roxas turn and barrel out of the shop. 

“Stop!” 

As they hit the dark street, the smell of leather and polish replaced with briny salt and scales, Axel and Roxas glance up to see the window of the room above the shop, its shutters thrown open and a man in a nightcap leaning out it, his graying bearded face fixed in a violent scowl. 

“Stop this instant, ya bloody thieving pirates!”

Axel and Roxas do not stop. Holding tight to their accidentally stolen hats, they sprint, and the man gives chase, surprisingly swift in step despite his generous gut. But Axel and Roxas glide over the uneven stone streets, used to sudden exertion and unafraid of the threat of the man’s waving cutlass.

The crowds of sailors, pirates, and merchants grow denser the closer they get to Gibbs’ pub and they manage to give the hatter the slip in a back alley. Roxas pushes his way inside first, the door near slamming the side wall, and then stops, half bent over, choking over rapid breaths and sharp laughter. Axel enters a minute later, sparing a final wary glance outside, before his arm catches Roxas around the shoulders and steers him out of the threshold, elbow jabbing him in the side to help him get a handle on himself.

“We’re just going to look,” Roxas repeats. “You said we were just going to look!”

Axel hasn’t stopped grinning their entire escape and he doesn’t stop now. “Worth it.”

Roxas shakes his head, bemused, “How was it worth it?”

“I look really sexy in this hat.” Axel leans in until his lips near brush Roxas’ ear, and whispers, “and you look really sexy in that one.”

“Luxord is going to kill us!” Roxas squirms away, but he doesn’t completely manage to fend off his smile, even as he declares, “I’m never speaking to you again.”

Axel sets a hand on Roxas’ bicep, tugging him closer to the bar, and tilts his head, pretending to contemplate this. “That’s going to make it a little difficult to kiss you.”

“I’m never kissing you again, either.”

“We’ll see about that.”

[mellz117]

Nnnnnnngggghhhh it’s part 2 of Mellz plays KH2 on the PS2!

It’s been a while since I got around to working on this part but since we’re all in quarantine I thought I’d catch up on my commentary.

If this is your first time tuning in, why not check out part 1 before reading?? In there you’ll also find links to my commentary of KH1 and Re:CoM on the PS2

On that note, let’s continue shall we?

To recap. We lost some pics, we found some pics, Seifer is a bitch. We did odd jobs and fought bees, we got robbed at stick point. Roxas keeps having dreams that act as exposition dumps for anyone who hasn’t played KH1. Roxas met Namine and he followed her to the mansion but got lost on the way there and wrong warped to the Station of Serenity via sandlot. Oh, we fought this game’s version of the Darkside Heartless but this time it’s a wormy, white Nobody. I really, really hate it! Hayner thinks Roxas loves Seifer more than him because it’s the epitome of “it’s not what it looks like”. Today, we Struggle to rekindle our friendship.

The next morning? Afternoon? EVENING? Nobody knows because it’s always the same time of day from morning until night and from night until morning! The Struggle tournament is about to begin. Tensions still seem on the rise before the preliminaries start, Hayner has very little to say to Roxas at this time. I’m not ready at this point so I decide to delay the fight and talk the townspeople and fight Seifer once again for old time’s sake. Our combatants are relayed the rules and the first round is between Roxas and his best friend, Hayner. Both the boys are a little somber as the countdown starts. Roxas is still feeling guilty about yesterday, but Hayner doesn’t care. He’s not angry at Roxas, he’s been so quiet because he’s so concentrated on the tournament!

Battle ensues.

I win because that’s the only way to progress. Roxas and Hayner make up and be all cute again. The next fight is between Seifer and Vivi.

Rose: “This is like... any person fighting Yoda”

……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..

Seifer got MESSED UP!

His pride after this was so squashed he DROPPED OUT OF THE TOURNAMENT, leaving Hayer in line for 3rd place. Seifer was willing to throw away a place in top 3 because he lost to blue Yoda.

I like how Roxas is ready to fucking pummel Vivi here AFTER time runs out. No mercy.

…oh my gosh it turns out this Vivi was a Dusk Nobody all along who could have seen that coming...?

*gasp* It’s HIM

My favorite bastard!

Axel: “Talk about blank with a capital ‘B’...”

Rose: “Talk about BITCH with a capital ‘B’!”

I love Axel to death in case you haven’t guessed that yet but that doesn’t mean I don’t ever drag him. He moves like a goddamn weasel. He’s as skinny as one too.

I win the fight because I’m the protagonist, and then DiZ shows his pretty face for the first time to our boy. Axel knows who he is? I’m guessing from Castle Oblivion? Unless there’s some Days stuff I’m not remembering. Things get weird again, DiZ and Axel call out Roxas’s name and their voices warp all funky and I remember getting secondhand embarrassment every time I watched this scene when I was younger!

Roxas has a mild freak out and calls out for his friends, poor thing. This seems to make everything normal. What passes for normal around here, sure... and the real Vivi falls face first onto the arena and has no recollection of ever participating. He didn’t. A Dusk just unceremoniously dumps his unconscious body off in the middle of a tournament. We then snag first place, but to add one more rank, as reigning champion, Roxas has to win against this Crispin Freeman motherfucker, obtain a special belt, and bragging rights for a whole-ass year.

My strategy? As long as I have more orbs than my opponent I win so I just hit Setzer once and run around the stage until time’s up. Not that I can’t fairly win against him. Is this the only time we get to fight Setzer? Seems kind of a waste to make a model and moveset if he’s got such a miniscule role.

We actually CAN fail this and still progress but I’m not a quitter. I’m gonna get Roxas that belt. So I did. The Twilight Town gang are once again sitting atop the clock tower, revel in Roxas’s victory, and each kid gets one of the crystals fixed to the trophy. ICE CREAM TIME! But Roxas is an idiot, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree now does it? stands up in like, 2 frames, and slips off the clock tower to his death. Rest in pieces.

This scene ends and we see a young lady walking alone after school. It’s Kairi! This is my favorite version of her. So she and Selphie start talking about Riku, the island they used to go to all the time, and another boy nobody remembers.

IDK how this telepathy works, while Roxas is still falling in slow-motion there’s a three way conversation between him, Kairi, and Sora himself chimes in a bit. Roxas mistakes Kairi for Namine, Kairi corrects him, “you’re that girl he likes” he says, Kairi desperately asks for a name, Roxas tells her HIS OWN name, NO NO you dolt Kairi wants this other guy’s name, see this is how wingmanning works. Sora’s all like “gee thanks for remembering me. I’ll give you a hint”.

Kairi gently pollutes the ocean with a message in a bottle, somehow the bottle heads out towards the great unknown despite the tide coming IN? I would think the bottle would kinda just... float in one spot for a bit? Or at least back to shore.

Next we’re back in the computer room with DiZ and this black clad man, who we finally get to learn is Ansem. But uh... He ain’t tho.

……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..

My least favorite part of Roxas’s part is coming up... OK OK OK so falling from great heights during battle is perfectly safe but falling off the clock tower could kill Roxas? Seems legit.

A’ight Olette is really cracking down on the summer homework and uh. They got no topic for their independent studies yet. This was me during most of my highschool career. Roxas suggests the weird stuff happening around HIM, because the world revolves around him (little does he know...) and Hayner shoots that idea down IMMEDIATELY. Turns out, they’re gonna search the town tomorrow for answers, the whole town’s gonna help out. How sweet!  Roxas’s reaction here is so pure.

Wait so Roxas has been telling his friends about the dreams he’s been having? I would have liked to see that! Like, their reactions to them.

I went to check out the dart board and Rose starts laughing and says she read “examine” like how Namine is pronounced. Anyway, what is the gnag gonna study? The Seven Wonders of Twilight Town. *yaawwn*

……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..……..

Oof, another example of “couldn’t care less” being misspoken as “could care less”. If you COULD care less that implies you already DO care. IT’S “COULDN’T CARE LESS”, RAIJIIN!!!

*fights Seifer one last time for good measure*

“The time has come! Our hunt for the Seven Wonders begins!” Pence is such a dork. I love him.

KNOW WHAT WOULD BE AN INTERESTING WONDER? IF THESE STAIRS ACTUALLY DID COUNT DIFFERENTLY UP AND DOWN BUT NO RAIJIIN IS JUST A DUNCE!

The Wall. These legitimate answers are lame as hell. Oh someone must have been throwing a ball oh but we know the truth.

The next “mystery” are voices in the access tunnels. It’s Vivi! But no, it’s probably not considering our track record. Now there’s 3. OH NO THEY KEEP MULTIPLYING! The real Vivi arrives and lets Roxas borrow his struggle bat so he can practice fighting by himself but oh wait... That was also a Dusk. These guys just... really don’t know when to quit. Aaaand this is where we stop for now. My capture card stopped recording. Or maybe it was just my imagination. Yes that’s right. I’m recoding this with COMMENTARY! I’m putting all my favorite parts into a compilation. Hopefully I’ll get those up on my channel soon.

Ta-ta for now! The sooner I finish this game the sooner I can move on to the remasters on PS4!

[PREVIOUS]

[NEXT]

[nadziejastar]

How do you think Lea and Isa went from lab rats to Organization members? It makes sense that Xehanort would recruit Isa if he had already become a vessel, but why would they keep Lea around instead of just disposing of him like they presumably did to countless other test subjects?

Fear: Axel’s True Weakness

I would say there were three main reasons. The first is that Lea was Isa’s weakness. If they kept Axel around, they could control Saïx better. He may be another Xehanort, but he still wanted revenge, and genuinely teamed up with Axel. He’s more complacent if he thinks he’s working towards his own goals.

The second reason is that Axel didn’t train himself to be an assassin. He may not have been vessel material, but there’s no reason to believe Isa was the only one subjected to mind control. Females are said to be better at dissociating, so since Isa was more feminine, perhaps Axel was not deemed worthy and was given another role.

You can’t do a proper mind control plot without researching the subject first. I’m sure Nomura and his team did their homework. In my opinion, Axel was inspired by Delta programming.

Slaves are threatened with fire, like the Scarecrow. They also see people dismembered like the Scarecrow was dismembered. For them it is not an idle threat. The front alters also have hearts full of pain like Scarecrow.

The Wizard of Oz is a very popular movie used in mind control programming. A subject can be Dorothy: lost in a tornado, stuck in chaos, perpetually spinning out of control. Or the Cowardly Lion: Living in fear and the inability to act, making decisions based on fear. Or The Tin Man: only able to react in certain situations, frozen in others. These are just a few of the many characters that are used.Subjects are threatened with fire.

Pg. 38 Book 1 The Wizard of Oz: “That is true,” said the Scarecrow. “You see,” he continued, confidently, “I don’t mind my legs and arms and body being stuffed, because I cannot get hurt. If anyone treads on my toes or sticks a pin into me, it doesn’t matter, for I can’t feel it.”

They are told they can’t feel anything.

“It’s because I don’t have a heart,” Axel went on. “I don’t want to disappear, but I’m not upset or sad about it.”

Naminé tried to say something and failed.

Nobodies aren’t supposed to exist. Nobodies don’t have hearts, so they can’t feel anything.

It sounds just like Axel.

Pg. 79 Book 3 Ozma of Oz: “I am only a ma-chine, and can-not feel sor-row or joy, no mat-ter what hap-pens.”

That type of mechanical dissociation also coincides with Tin Man programming.

Certain alters are not given courage and most have their hearts taken from them. The alters who are programmed not to have hearts are hypnotically told the same thing the Tin Man says, “I could be human if I only had a heart.” …..Some alters are taught they are stupid and have no brain.

They are told they have had their hearts taken from them, and that they would be human only if they had one.

How is a man-made puppet any less worthy than a Nobody that was never meant to exist at all? They’re both ambiguous. Tenuous at best.

Just like Axel.

On page 38 is a poem about a Mr. Nobody. The programmers like to have alters identify themselves as “nobody”. On page 39 is a poem/story about “someone” who comes tapping…but it is “only the cricket whistling”.

They are literally told they are a “nobody”.

Axel: We are just Nobodies who have no one to be, yet we still “are.” But now you can be nothing instead of just being a Nobody. You’re off the hook.

Sounds just like Axel. When he kills Vexen, he says he has “no one to be”.

Learning ‘Over the Rainbow’ in Oz is for the slave to be in a trance, and into a certain area of the programming. To be fluctuating at both ends as an observer and not a participant or to go to the other extreme and become a participant. The theme song of the movie goes, “Somewhere over the Rainbow…there’s a land where the dreams that you dare to dream really come true.” These lyrics are a method to hypnotically confuse the brain to perceive that the “over the Rainbow experience” (which is usually horrible abuse) is a “dream”.

In Delta programming, the trainers will record delta waves on an EEG, and try to get the subject to always stay in delta state. They will do this using drugs, hypnosis and trauma. The trainers will often flash a cue, or delta (triangle) symbol on a projector overhead, and “grind in” the delta imprinting. They will wear robes with delta signs on them, and clothe the subject in robes imprinted with the delta sign.

As you can see, Delta brain patterns involve the unconscious mind and sleep. And that is one of the biggest themes of the Dark Seeker Saga. It’s what the whole Realm of Sleep was based on. The Delta trainers will teach the subject under hypnosis what deltas do, and how they act. They will be given delta jobs, and they will watch high frequency films that show delta functions. They may use a computer-like structure, showing pictures while the subject is under a deep trance. This is after creating a clean slate through trauma.

Delta programming was originally designed to train special agents and espionage agents’ minds for becoming terrorists devoid of fear and basic self preservation instincts. They are trained to be capable of incredible feats of physical endurance and murder. The Delta program was interested in training a new breed of man—one who kills and, if caught, self-destructs. This is why Axel is so fucked up, in my opinion. And I really don’t blame him one bit for it. He’s fucked up, but he’s still a saint considering what he must have gone through. I don’t blame him for killing Vexen or Zexion, or for having so much hatred. Who wouldn’t? It’s only natural.

The trainers will reward the subjects when they comply, and shock or otherwise traumatize them if they do not act like “deltas”. And all of this ties into the third reason I think they kept Axel around. As you can see, Delta programming is only effective to the extent that you can traumatize the person. And if they have something they can’t bear to lose, it makes it so much easier to do just that.

“Don’t let us down now, kiddo. Shouldn’t be too much trouble without a heart,” Xigbar told Saïx.

I think there is little doubt that Braig was Isa’s main abuser during the experiments. He all but taunts Saïx about it. Then there’s his weapon called “Cupid’s Arrow”. Cupid shoots people with arrows and they fall in love. His gold-tipped arrows are what link people in love. However, he can fire lead-tipped arrows, which cause people to feel indifference or hatred. This side of Cupid is not very well-known.From Axel’s point of view, that would be a very accurate description. I think all of this was implying that he was the main person who turned Isa into Saïx. 

One day, a man came to take me from the prison. I could not see him for the darkness, save that he wore an eyepatch.

And it JUST SO HAPPENS that he was Subject X’s main abuser, too. Hmmm, fancy that. What a coincidence, huh? Well, I think Xaldin was Axel’s main abuser. The story goes out of its way to parallel him to Axel. Notice how Axel never interacts with him in Days, and how he’s conveniently not present in 3D. And it doesn’t just say that he looks down on emotions or the heart. He is good at manipulating the hearts of others. This implies actions. This is Dilan, not Xaldin. So it’s not talking about the Beast. They describe Aeleus as NOT good at manipulating the hearts of others. Xaldin was different. There was definitely something planned with this.

Roxas: You remember the castle’s master, Xion?

Xion: Yeah, the beast we saw.

Roxas: Well, you were right. He does have something he wants to protect. Something he cares about.

Xion: Really?

Roxas: Yeah, but Xaldin says that’s a weakness.

Xion: Why would caring about something be a weakness?

Roxas: I dunno. I didn’t get it either.

Xion: I hope Axel comes home soon.

Caring about something is a weakness according to Xaldin. And 358/2 Days made a pretty big deal out of this idea. I think the story was hinting that Xaldin had a connection to Axel’s weakness. And that’s why they were given parallel stories like that.

Axel: Huh… I think you have a point there. So you don’t need a heart to have something that you can’t bear to lose then. If that’s true, then I guess the closest thing that we Nobodies have would be memories of our past. It’s the memories that create the things that we don’t want to lose.

Axel says his memories of the past are what he can’t bear to lose. Axel is ALL about memories, especially the ones of when he was human.

Xaldin was standing there.

“Is it too hard to at least knock before barging into people’s rooms?” Demyx stated, displeased, and strummed the sitar again.

“What will you do with those human memories you cling to?”

“Hah? What are you saying, old man?” Demyx’s hand stopped, and he turned just his face towards Xaldin. “What about you?”

“Nothing at all. But I’m interested in how you guys let your human memories influence you.”

“Hmm,” Demyx responded, disinterestedly, and plucked the sitar three times.

While Xaldin is the exact opposite. I can’t help but feel like Xaldin’s disgust stems from actually witnessing how Axel in particular was affected by his “weakness”.

“That which we treasure has power over us, Roxas. His heart is captive to it. And that makes it his weakness.”

“Captive…? I don’t get it.”

Everything Xaldin said only got harder and harder to follow.

“Nor should you. You have no heart to love with. Let’s not linger here.”

Xaldin says that anything you can’t bear to lose is your weakness. He calls that weakness “love”, even before he learns that the Beast loves Belle.

Roxas: Love is a power?

And all this happens on Day 150, which is called “Fear”. The whole idea is that having something you can’t bear to lose causes you to feel FEAR. This fear controls you and makes you captive to it. 

Roxas: It’s scary.

Axel: You can’t be scared without a heart!

Roxas: If my friends… If you or Xion were to disappear… It’s…scary to think of what it would be like without you guys.

Axel: “Scared” is not an emotion that can exist inside us.

Roxas: Well… I am scared right now, for sure.

Axel: Maybe it’s just that you remember what it’s like to be scared, you know? Somewhere deep inside your memories.

The whole idea of Delta subjects is that they are supposed to be devoid of fear. The only way that happens is to traumatize the subject so much that they become desensitized to fear. Why bring all of these ideas up if you are not going to do anything with them? There was originally a subplot about Axel’s weakness and the fear caused by it.

Roxas: Love? What’s that?

Axel can’t bear to lose his memories of the past, from when he was a human. But that is only relevant for him now, as a Nobody. It wouldn’t have been something that would cause him fear in the past, during the experiments.

Axel: You know, memories of the stuff we couldn’t bear to lose, back when we couldn’t bear to lose it.

The memories he refers to are about “stuff” he couldn’t bear to lose. He had something in his past that he couldn’t bear to lose. Not just memories. Something tangible. Something he treasured that made him afraid of losing it. So what could make him so afraid?

Day 150: Too Precious to Lose

Axel and I talked for a while about the things we can’t bear to lose. Axel thinks that for Nobodies, it’s our pasts, because that’s all we have to remember the pain of losing something.

Why are Axel’s memories too precious to lose? Because that’s all he has to remember the pain of losing something. He must have really treasured that thing if he never wants to forget the pain of losing it. His heart was captive to it. He considered that thing too precious to lose, and it was his weakness.

Saïx: There’s something I’ve meant to ask.

Xemnas: About Axel? The poor fool. How long will he keep chasing the illusion of friendship, when he himself lacks emotion? Trying so hard to retrieve what he has lost, when it may never have existed in the first place. He deserves nothing more than our pity.

Xemnas’ comment was about Axel trying to retrieve what he lost. And Xemnas spoke as if Axel had been chasing something he lost for a very long time. LONG before he lost Roxas. Also, Xemnas said it never existed in the first place. But Xemnas knew Nobodies had hearts. He also considered love to be a weakness, but he didn’t deny that Nobodies were capable of it.

Xemnas: Weakness has the power to awaken that which is dormant. It is clear that through his actions, however foolish they may have been, Axel has touched Sora’s heart. Perhaps HE will soon awaken.

He even said that Axel had the power to wake Ventus because he touched Sora’s heart. He knew Axel was capable of emotion, but he had to keep the script going. He also knew Roxas was not a normal Nobody, and that he had Ventus’ heart. Xemnas knew that Roxas’ friendship with Axel DID exist, and was genuine. That’s why he kept getting sent to Castle Oblivion. He was close to Roxas, and perhaps he would lead them to the Chamber of Waking.

So, I think there was a hidden meaning in his statement when he said that what Axel was seeking was something that never existed in the first place. It was not referring to Roxas. Axel had something else he lost, and was trying to recover. His memories of the past were his weakness. He was so desperate to recover something he lost that Xemnas never considered him a threat. He knew how to control Axel by using his memories of the past against him. And I think that’s why Xemnas never got rid of him.

Axel: As long as we remember each other, we’ll never be apart. Got it memorized?

Roxas: Ha ha, wow, Axel. That sounded ridiculous.

Axel: What? I thought it was pretty deep.

The sunset is a symbol of wanting to recover something important that was lost. Axel was always looking into it, long before Roxas or Xion left. He was looking at it all by himself on the day “Xion’s Keyblade”. The day Saïx acted like an asshole to Roxas and Xion. And the day Axel said he’d never have to be apart, as long as he had memories. Roxas and Xion had to be inseparable for a while, because Xion couldn’t use her Keyblade. Thanks to Roxas, she got it back, and they were happy. But Axel wasn’t. He didn’t laugh along with them that time.

Roxas: I found out about love on today’s mission–that it’s something powerful.

Axel: That’s true. It is. But I’ll never get to experience it.

Roxas: Nobodies can’t love?

Axel: You need a heart, man.

Roxas: Right…

Axel is the polar opposite of Xaldin. He wants love. Just like the Beast. It’s not the rose he can’t bear to lose. It’s Belle. She makes him feel more human than he did as a physical human. Because she taught him how to love. In my opinion, all of this was implying that Axel had more than just a weakness. He had something he loved. Like the Beast.

Axel: Love is what happens if there’s something really special between two people.

Roxas: You mean, like, if they’re best friends?

Axel: Well, you can care about your friends, I guess, but that’s not what I’m talking about.

Roxas: So then…love is like a step above friends?

Axel: Yes… Well, no. There aren’t “steps.”

Roxas: I don’t get it.

Axel: What does it matter? We’ll never know the difference.

The subtext is extremely strong. Lea was in love with Isa. 

Axel: Well, I think you can be inseparable even if you’re apart.

Roxas: Really?

Axel: Sure, if you feel really close to each other. If you’re best friends.

Roxas: What’s it like having a best friend, Axel?

Axel: Couldn’t tell ya. I don’t have one.

And Isa was what he couldn’t bear to lose. Isa was his weakness.

Axel: Does it hurt, Naminé? Watching your two childhood friends fight all because of you? You have my sympathies. From the heart. But don’t waste your time. We Nobodies can never hope to be somebodies.

Axel uses similar words to Naminé that he used with Vexen. He talks about having no one to be. His coldness was due to her causing a rift between childhood friends. Axel took this very personally. There’s only one person that Axel could possibly be referring to. These two things are connected with him. Childhood friends fighting, and not having anyone to be.

Roxas: I don’t get it.

Axel lost Isa, the one thing he couldn’t bear to lose when he was human. And it was unbearably painful for him. It’s why he took so much pleasure while killing Vexen, and why he hated Naminé. He didn’t care if he killed her at all. And I can’t say I blame him for for feeling that way.

Day 119: Hearts and Emotion

Watching that foolish beast flail about only deepens my disdain for humans and their incessant need to be pinned down by feelings. We became Nobodies precisely to avoid the shackles of emotion. It was only later that we realized the scale of that loss: that some things simply cannot be done without a heart. Nonetheless, I see nary a pleasant thing about it.

Not only was Lea in love with Isa, but I’d say Isa was his weakness in a very concrete way. Isa was Lea’s weakness that was used to traumatize him so effectively during the experiments. Because Lea cared so much about his friend, he was probably the most “foolish” subject Dilan experimented on. If there was anyone who would have inspired Lea to get the teardrop tattoos, it would have been Dilan. Isa would have been the last person to do that. Lea was very easy to control due to his strong emotions, and thus made a good assassin. He’d follow any orders to protect Isa. That was true during the experiments, and I think it’s true for when he was a Nobody.

Day 71: The Traitors’ End

Saïx had a hand in what went down at Castle Oblivion—well, more like a whole arm. Which means Axel was in on it as well. It’s a fact that Xemnas ordered Axel to take out the traitors, orders which went through Saïx. No specific names were given, but naturally Xemnas knew who the turncoats were right from the get-go.

When Xehanort possesses someone, he can see their experiences in real time. Axel told Saïx all of his secrets. All the schemes, and the gossip about the other members, etc. Having Axel around provided a ton of valuable information to Xemnas. He knew everything they were plotting and then some. Xemnas had no reason to get rid of him. He was useful. He was well-trained, followed orders, and because Xemnas knew everything he was plotting, he was not a real threat.

They only ordered him to be eliminated after he finally left and went after Roxas. Because then he became unpredictable. Xemnas thought Axel was a fool who was pitiful. I think it was because he had no idea that Saïx was NOT Isa. And he played right into Xehanort’s hand. Like Xemnas said in KH3, he was a pawn, knocked from the board early in the game.

Axel’s memories of Isa were the reason why he was kept around in the Organization. They knew he was totally loyal to Saïx, who was another Xehanort. So he’s technically not a traitor. Saïx was nothing but another Xehanort, and Axel’s friendship with him never even existed in the first place. But Xemnas knew that Axel’s memories of Isa were too precious to lose. They knew Axel’s weakness. Even as a Nobody, he had something that he couldn’t bear to lose—something that he loved. So he could be controlled by the fear of losing it.

[092219archive]

absolutely nobody’s asleep so posting about axel in broad daylight is very bold of me, since i know there’s going to be absolutely nothing but trouble for future me. i’m setting myself up for my own demise. i am the cause of my own destruction.

this was going to go on twitter, but it got a little longer than i expected (well, i always expect posts pertaining to my thoughts to get long), and my thoughts became a jumbled mess.

this may contain spoilers for the following kingdom hearts games: chain of memories, and 2.

i think it’s already known (based off my liveblogging threads) that kh has been playing with my emotions, and utterly ruining me. it’s a sad experience, but a good one that i’ve enjoyed so far.

except that getting "feelings” for axel was not apart of the plan, at all. i joked once or twice about wanting a favorite character from kh but then it actually happened, and now i’m Scared. i seriously thought that marluxia would’ve been The One, and i was positive of it, but watching chain of memories made me realize that i was very Wrong.

when i started watching chain of memories, i saw axel and thought, “oh, that’s the guy everybody likes a lot.” being the curious animal i was i wanted to know why he was so well liked, so i payed extra close attention to him whenever he came on screen. that was also, in retrospect, a very big mistake on my part. like i said, getting emotions was not apart of the plan. for someone that creates a lot of self inserts that are extremely good at making and following a plan, i sure do a very poor job at that.

i was not expecting to enjoy axel’s character and role so much, either. the thing with axel is that, despite lacking a heart, he shows a lot of cases of kindness and... feelings. he’s self-driven, as is most of the organization members, but axel takes it a step above. he’s also confident in his battle abilities, and if you’ve been around this blog long enough, you know that is one of the primary traits that i’m enamored by...

a very obvious case (and i say this because this scene was played twice, once in kh2 and the other in 358/2 days, i believe) was when roxas was leaving the organization in search of himself and his purpose. when responding to roxas’ “no one would miss me,” axel was very upset because he would miss his best friend.

another case is when he was fighting xion to bring her back to the organization, despite knowing that this was probably the best case scenario for everybody. the issue was that he was the one that was sent to defeat another of his best friends. he didn’t want to, and he even called it an “icky job.” the man was distressed, even raising his voice and showing obvious signs of frustration that xion said something like, “please don’t hold back.”

but very subtle cases of axel showing emotions are those times when roxas or xion say things like, “i wish it could always be like this.” he’s never nodding in agreement, and he’s never smiling when they say those things, because he knew that things weren’t going to stay that way forever and that was but a distant dream that the three of them would never be able to grasp. and i’m getting emo thinking about this because he was so heavily affected by xion and roxas leaving the organization, to be their own people. when he was fighting xion, he said, “you both... think you can do whatever you want. well, i’m sick of it. go on, you just keep running. but i’ll always be there to bring you back!”

i think internally, he wanted the same things that roxas and xion wanted. i mean, doesn’t everyone want to be with their friends forever, without a care in the world? without any obligations or duties, just enjoying themselves? and even if he knew that things wouldn’t stay like this forever, he’s been trying so damn hard to keep things okay for the both of them. axel hid the truth about xion from roxas, because roxas would’ve been hurt and wouldn’t have believed axel. he knew that. he let xion go after defeating xigbar, because he knew that was the right thing to do, something he was suffer the consequences for. it was the right path.

seeing axel try so hard to desperately get his friends back, even when he knows that they have their own rightful paths to follow... it kinda hurts to watch. he’s missed out so much in his life, like having a best friend that stuck around. when the organization had their vacation day, axel told roxas that he was going to sleep all day. “i’d nap six times a day if they’d let me,” he says, with a happy expression. he didn’t have to do anything, because he doesn’t need to do anything but also because he has nobody to do things with. when there’s a holiday, the “average person” spends time indoors to enjoy their free time, or they spend time with friends and family.

but then he gets some best friends, roxas and xion, but then they leave. in kh2, he was so excited that roxas remembered his name, only to found out that was all roxas knew of axel: his name. the way axel sighed realizing that, the way he slouched ー you thought, man with the spikiest red hair.

it’s obvious, but there’s so much to his character that i genuinely enjoy seeing in action. he was someone that i enjoyed seeing on screen whenever he popped up, and the weird thing was that i felt an immediate connection to him. that’s weird because i don’t normally acknowledge these feelings so quickly (see: arjuna, ozymandias)... it was like a short, but powerful burst of energy? whenever he was happy, so was i. whenever something bad was happening to him, i was anxious. i think that’s a normal reaction since that’s what the game intended for it to be like, but it was so distressing watching saix’s conversations with axel...

i think part of the reason why i’m so, “axel? no.” is because i have an inferiority complex, which i’m working to get over (the absolute joys of being compared to someone from the day you were born). i think that, for me to consider dub someone as an “official f/o,” i have to establish a meaningful connection. there’s a lot of characters i like, but actually adding those many characters that i like to my masterlist is a very rare occasion. i think it’s due to past experiences that i just don’t add just any character willy-nilly, because i get a surprising amount of fleeting crushes, but hardly “oh god, i’m in kinda deep, aren’t i?”

i do like to explore things to see how it goes, but if it doesn’t last for a long time, i don’t usually go through with it. whoever’s on my masterlist as i type this are pretty special cases of characters i love that i didn’t drop within the few months i fell for them. i think that’s also one of the reasons i take so long to truly announce, “yes, i really do want to have a really deep connection with them.”

i think another thing is that the feelings came really damn fast, which i’m suspicious about. do i like this character as a whole, or do i like some of the traits they have?

BUT ANYWAYS, this became a very long ramble about axel and feelings... i think watching more kh will help me figure out some of the questions i have.  _(:3 」∠)_

[shinyglaceonice]

Kingdom hearts 3

So I'm done with the main story of this game, gonna go back for collectibles and the like now, but I wanted to share my opinion. Massive spoilers so only read if you have beaten the game.

I've waited 12 years for this game, have played every game in the series including Union X and when dearly beloved came on I was nearly moved to tears. Visually it's stunning, the sound track is amongst Yokos finest (special shoutout to the enter the darkness remaster) and I have to tip my hat to utada Hikaru and skrillex because face my fears and don't think twice are beautiful songs. The gummi ship is the best it's been, I genuinely really enjoyed San fransokyo and Kingdom Of Corona worlds (Big hero 6 is my fave Disney film so this was such a breath of fresh air), combat is fluid, and whilst I miss drive forms some of the key blade changes are great fun to use (though I stilled mained kingdom key because ars arcanum bby), the remy cooking mini game reminded me of Ignis from FFXV, best character from that game don't @me.

But then there's the story, which IMO just felt really weak. There are scenes that feel badly placed, drawn out too long or rushed in some cases. There aren't that many worlds compared to 1 and 2, with only 8 Disney worlds. A lot of the world's stories felt weak, in particular toy box and arendelle, the former not really having a conclusion and the latter just watching Frozen without really moving the plot forward. The treatment of characters felt weak a lot of the time, especially the girls. Aqua and Xion, who are strong warriors who have survived their share of battles are taken out far too easy, Aqua especially seems to lose every battle she's in, which is a stark difference to her in BBS and 0.2. Roxas and Ventus meet and there's no real interaction, missed a gold mine there for a spider man meme scene. Terras redemption was played out well but also felt kinda rushed. My boy Vanitas did not get as much screen time as he deserved. And then there's Kairi, who after training to be a guardian of light, overcoming her differences with Axel and forgiving what he did, is just used as a cliche plot device and is killed off. Again. Which didn't impact me as a player because its like, "oh hey there goes her potential again". If they killed someone like Riku, who had a great character ark and redemption then it would have more impact. It also feels like she was used as Xion comparison a lot. Then the ending, with Xehanort just ascending to the light despite everything he did over the last 12/13 years, sora just swanning of as sequel bait just felt like a cheap excuse to set up another game. I know Nomura said this wasn't the last KH game but would it have killed him to let our guys know a little bit of happiness?

I really wanted to like Kh3, and about 2/3 I did, but the story let's it down so much that it left a bitter taste in my mouth, much like FFXV did. Which is a shame because KH2, BBS and Days are all great games. Square seem to be losing their touch with making games lately, they create visually stunning pieces that are empty inside, no real story to drive them forward. This will be my last KH game.

Also Scrooge Mcduck isn't voiced by David Tennant 0/10 where's my figgy pud

[starcharmfunzies]

So let me get this straight. Jesse McCartney; yes THAT Jesse McCartney, ended up becoming one of the better, if not the BEST voice actor out of the entire kh cast AND was the one who happened to voice best boy? I dig it xD. A lot of time has passed since then, what’re your thoughts on about all of that? Remember when you first found out he was in the series? Or the cast as a whole?

I wouldn’t say Jesse is the best out of the entire cast (I mean come on man Mark Hamill is there) but he’s definitely on the top 3 for me. 

Although I was a little bitter that Jesse didn’t care much for his roles in KH I slowly got to appreciate and even later on felt grateful for his great performances. I didn’t notice it with Roxas, but with Ven introduced in BbS I realized how that much of a good job Jesse did on changing his pitch and on some great deliveries too. 

You see that scene of KH3D where Riku meets Roxas and Ven and you can fucking hear the difference in their voices; it’s amazing. And then you hear his performance of Roxas in the Days movie.. the most memorable scene for me is when Roxas lashes out at Axel right before he leaves the Organization: 

“I have the right to know the truth! How did I even get here? Why am I so special? Where did I learn how to use the Keyblade? I hardly know who I am! What is so wrong with wanting some answers?!”

And I fucking felt it man. It was an amazing performance. So yes I’m immensely happy and grateful to Jesse for the amazing job he’s done.

I found out of Jesse through memes after KH2 released xD I was like OH the same Jesse McCartney that sings Beautiful Soul and made cameos in a few Disney Channel series? well what do you know!

I was surprised and curious that he was chosen in the first place, but I didn’t dislike it. I thought it was funny how Jesse doesn’t sing in the game while Haley the non-singer does sing heh

Besides Jesse the other cast members that surprised me were Haley (because of the sixth sense and later on when I found out he was Vanitas), Leonard Nimoy and Mark Hamill because holy shit, and Lance Bass as Sephiroth in KH1 lol

[tumblunni]

Hhhh bunni legs pain accomplishment day

I HAVE FINISHED THE SHOPPING OF HELL

Tfw u only get paid 4 days before christmas and have to rush everything aaaa

It was bad enough today so i'm so glad i got it done before it got even more busy!

Misc boring essentials i bought for myself: new phone charger cos broken, new trousers cos i spilt hair bleach on my only two pairs, new shoes cos my left shoe literally snapped in half down the middle like wtf even happened there, cheap pink hair dye from a discount store cos i wanna try different colours but in a thrifty way

Now for EXCITING CHRISTMAS PRESENT TIME!!!!

First off SO MANY pc and xbox 360 games from Every Charity Shop In Cardiff, St Mellons, Rumney and Llanrumney. My sis has been trying to find some games to play but was like 'dont worry about it i can just wait til the charity shop gets something good'. So i thought i'd get some stocking stuffers via all the charity shops on my side of town. By our powers combined we will blitz the entire vale of glamorgan's discount gaming scene!!! I found SO MANY good stuff for £1/£2/£3 like holy shit i love when charity shops dont know the proper price for shit XD

speaking of which i also found a WEBCAM for £2! If its that cheap it probanly isnt great but itd still be fun to play around with! :D and the same store also had an old vintage G1 My Little Pony coffee mug in excellent condition. Oh god the nostalgia! My support worker gave me a lift to llanrumney so i had to awkwardly explain why i had an armful of weird 80s mugs and big teary eyes!

Speaking of vintage, i found this new vintage toys and games shop in cardiff called Galactic Attic! The name hooked me in and then they actually DID have pokemon inside! As well as all sorts of stuff ranging from 40s to 90s, wow! There was even a lil pile of old 90s gaming magazines in the corner, covered up by a bunch of boxes. I'm glad i noticed them! I got the announcemt issues for pokemon diamond pearl and platinum in a weird old pokemon fan magazine that i loved as a kid. Im kinda sad that nowadays we just have one official magazine fpr each console and not the wild madness of amateaur journalists failing horribly to get news from japan. Shame they didnt have Beckett Pokemon cos that one was infamous fot drawing its own terrible interpretations of pokemon sprites to avoid copyright. And speaking of terrible, they even had bootleg pokemon!! I talked to the cashier and he was like "you know those are fake right" and i was like "yeah its so nostalgic thats why i want em" and he was like "lol yeah they actually sell pretty well so i'm not mad my supplier ripped me off". It was a pretty good and awesomely terrible fake at the same time? There was this exact replica of some japanese display stand for the product and then the actual pokeball toys looked perfect BUT the mini pokemon inside were.. Really not. I am so damn happy with the surprise inside my one, surprise inside has never been more accurate! I can't take a picture now cos my phone is charging but REGICHEETO. Just..just imagine that, and whatever you're imagining it is probably worse. I love it so fuckin much. Also less hilariously there were some bootleg mini pika plushies with actually (as far as i can tell) their own unique design? They have cute lil winter scarves and an art style that reminds me of the Magical Pokemon Adventure manga. A really cute and good bootleg that i would have loved to see as a real product! The only way you can even tell its a bootleg is because there's no marking on the tail. I dunno, maybe if i still have some brown fabric in the cupboard i could fix it? Or maybe its unique tail makes it even more special! I mean there's Cosplay Pikachu with its double tail marking so maybe this is her cousin Accessory Pikachu with no markings? He just likes wearing scarfs and hats and stuff. OMG HE'S THE POKEMON GO EVENT PIKACHU!!!!!!

Along the miscness of finding a few things for myself, i also found: cute lil pokemon pencilcase, kingdom hearts blind bag, cheap copy of Fruits Basket volume 1 cos the new remake is coming out soon and i wanna Get Hype! The KH blind bag was really weird cos i didnt know they now have an entirely different set as well as the keychains i bought before. Its kind of a shame the art style doesnt match cos vexen is only in the keychains, alas! But i do really love these ones! Theyre apparantly made by funko pop but dont have the art style AT ALL, they just look like really accurate versions of the characters in mini form. Its kinda like the 'distance animation' style in steven universe? (Incidentally they also do SU ones but they missed the opportunitu to actually use the distance style, lol) I got a Sora in his kh2 outfit and i'm decently happy with that, its not one i really wanted but its not a bad one either. But i think now i've tried the fun of surprise once i'll just buy the actual ones i want off ebay later. They have roxas in his organization outfit! With a happy smile!!!

Oh oh and then EVEN MORE XBOX GAMES OF THE WILD THRIFT STORE VOID! i managed to find the whole fable series, two assassins creeds, saints row, gta, some misc shooter games and racers that she wanted but i dont know much about, mass effect 2 and ff13. I think maybe one or two others cos i cant fully remember right now. Theyre all in separate bags strewn across the room and my shoulders feel like death so i'll sort through them later.

Aaaand i wrote up like 14 paragraphs more but tumblr didnt save my draft fpr some fuckin reason and now im way too tired to do it again

Briefer summary:

* had a huge horrible panic attack getting stuck in a skyscraper shopping centre clothes place full of screaming and every perfume smell and WHY DO I HAVE TO NAVIGATE THIS HELL MAZE TO FIND THE ESCALATOR and seriously i was my most primal animalistic self and i went full fight or flight on this bitch

* had a lovely time visiting Cool Shop Grandma and rambled the story of how i met her and how we became friends but hhh too tired to rewrite. But anyway today i gave her a christmas pikachu plush as thanks for everything and cos her shop is moving on to its next location soon. She got really teary and gave me a big hug! She's gonna be at a comic con in march so i hope i'm able to go to that and see her again.

* went on a wild goose chase looking for harry potter merchandise and eventually found a gold plated replica of the movie prop version of the time turner and HELL YES my sis will love it!

* rambled about several market stalls that were cool but i can make a separate post about that in the morning when i find their contact details to advertise them

* got a plushie delibird and decided to take selfies with it everywhere to try and fight my social anxiety somehow. We went to a neat lil restaurant and had cheesy fries and a coke float!

* asked for a refund on an item for the first time ever and im proud of myself

* went off on a mystery bus trip to buy a preowned 3ds and pokemon games from a lady in an online preowned stuff facebook group and it didnt go horribly and i am glad! She was really nice and i witnessed A Good And Smart Parenting Moment and man it healed my heart and i wish i'd been raised that way. Again i'll probably ramble about the details later when im less tired, it really touched my heart seriously! And now i have MANY GIFTS FOR SIS!

* in total i was out present shopping from 9am to 8pm and i clicked my shoulder out of its socket for a split second from.all the heavy bags. Now im in a lot of aches and i need a sleeps

The End

[bisoras]

anyways here’s one part of like 3 oneshots i never finished that 0.2 has rendered au but it’s basically like “ventus woke up because Reasons and sora and kairi are explaining the situation to him while mickey and riku rescue aqua”

so yeah i think i wrote this like a year ago and i definitely need to finish it bc i actually like..................... love it im ngl

Ventus didn’t even know life could be so complicated.

Or that his life would ever be so complicated.

And yet one day he was living in the Land of Departure, training under Master Eraqus with Terra and Aqua, and the next he was battling his inner-darkness-made-real and sacrificing himself to save the world from death, destruction, and mayhem.

He remembered feeling the warm solace of a child’s heart, but now that he was finally awake and rested, he couldn’t have told you that this was the boy he met ten years prior.

Sora was everything Ventus was before the battle with Master Xehanort and Vanitas: vivacious, restless, a little naive, and desperate to prove himself. Ventus thought of him as a breath of fresh air, especially in the castle’s underground study he woke up in, surrounded by people who carried themselves with the distinctive aura of someone who’s lost everything and fought tooth-and-nail to get even one thing back.

“That’s Leon.” Sora sat next to Ventus on the floor, his back flush with the wall, as he pointed at a man with a deep scar cutting across his face at a diagonal. “You’ll hear a few people call him Squall, but he says he prefers Leon. Squall’s his first name.”

Ventus nodded, and on his other side sat Kairi. She rested her head on his shoulder comfortingly, and he sighed into the feeling. Something about her -- her personality, her attitude, her magic -- felt like Aqua, whose fate he still had no idea of.

“The lady with the pink ribbon in her hair is Aerith,” she told him, curling closer into his side. “She helps run this place.”

“And that’s Cid,” Sora nodded, pointing to the man who grimaced around the toothpick between his teeth, swiping his hand across his forehead and leaving a smear of grease over his skin. “If you ever need a pilot or a troubleshooter, he’s your man. Ain’t that right, Gramps?” he called, and Sora and Kairi both laughed aloud at the finger Cid gave them.

They continued pointing people out: “That’s Yuffie,” Kairi told him.

“The blonde guy with creepy blue eyes is Cloud,” Sora said.

“He and Tifa -- she’s the one with long dark hair and looks like she could kill you with her hands tied behind her back -- are a thing. I think,” she added.

“And that’s --”

Ventus cut Sora off, nodding shortly. “Merlin, I know. I met him and Mr. Scrooge… the last time I was here.”

Sora sobered, sensing the turn of the conversation. He huffed a sigh and rested his chin on his knees, pouting at nothing in particular. “I wish Riku were here,” he admitted.

Ventus perked up slightly, and he nodded. “I want to meet him,” he told them honestly. “What kind of mission is he on?” he asked.

Kairi took a turn grumbling under her breath before she told him, “He and the King are on a special Keyblade-Masters-only mission. They swear it’s need to know, and we--” she paused, waving her free hand over the three of them -- “don’t need to know.”

Sora hummed in response. “Riku said if all goes well, we’ll find out as soon as they get back.”

Ventus turned to Sora with confusion in his eyes and a frown on his lips. “You’re not a Master? But you’ve done so much!”

Sora barked out a laugh and nervously brought his hand to the back of his neck. “Just because I’ve saved a bunch of people doesn’t mean I didn’t pass the test. I would’ve been turned if Riku hadn’t saved me.”

Into his side, Kairi shivered, but Ventus kept looking at him. “Turned?”

“It’s what happens when someone loses their heart to darkness,” a voice in front of them said, and Ventus looked up to see a man with striking silver hair sit down across from him. He visibly sagged, even as Sora launched himself from the wall into his arms.

“Riku?” he questioned, and the man opened a bleary aquamarine eye and nodded at Ventus.

“The one and only,” he grunted. He lifted his arm to let Sora nestle into his side before draping it over the other man’s shoulders, Sora looping his around Riku’s waist.

“So… you’re a Master?” Ventus asked, the skepticism bleeding into his tone against his better efforts. The man read so… dark, he realized.

“Our test went a bit astray,” he said instead. “Sora almost got himself possessed by Xehanort. Roxas almost came back out,” he mused aloud, wincing slightly when Sora elbowed him in the ribs.

Ventus felt himself pale a bit, and Kairi picked up on it immediately.

“Ven?” she asked. “Are you okay?”

Riku already caught himself wincing. “You didn’t know,” he said shortly. “The King wanted to be the one to tell you.”

“Tell him what?” Sora asked.

“Xehanort,” Ventus repeated, catching Riku’s eyes. “You mean…”

Riku nodded, pinching the bridge of his nose. “There’s a lot you don’t know yet, Ventus,” he told him.

But just then, a door slammed open with a gust of wind and the King hit the back wall following it. Riku and Sora snapped up, keyblades materializing in their hands -- Ven noted with a start that while Sora’s came with a flash of light, Riku’s came forth shrouded in darkness. He and Kairi followed with only a second’s delay, Lost Memory and Destiny’s Embrace already in their grips.

(Her keyblade, too, struck a familiar chord in his memory, but he kept the thought to himself.)

Riku surged forward, the darkness all too familiar to Ventus as he vanished, reappearing only steps from the now wide-open library door, and he cursed as he quickly teleported elsewhere, a triple-shot of ice exploding where he stood.

Ventus recognised the aura of the magic and he himself began striding forward, caught only by the spell Sora and Kairi cast around him.

“We need to keep you safe!” Sora told him without turning around. He took half a second to shut his eyes and, breathing deeply, he opened them to a second keyblade appearing in his hand.

Ventus pressed his lips together in frustration before searching for the weak spot in his shield, and after spotting it he aimed the tip of his keyblade at it, using Multivortex and barraging it until it shattered. Then, before he could register Sora’s curse and Kairi’s fingers just short of his jacket, he darted towards the doorway.

His keyblade disappeared the second he saw her, eyes falling on Aqua’s battered form with agony in his expression.

She stopped when she looked at him, too, the magic at her fingertips dissipating as her keyblade clattered to the ground and vanished.