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wild-karrde · 2 years

Note

*slams hand on desk* you knew this was coming. You could feel it in your bones I’m sure. I’m here to supply the good crack content because I’m weak. SO! As absolute pure self indulgence to our conversations about the most crack pairing ever, for your 200 follower celebration (🥳 YOU GO MATE!), could I pretty please request Grunter (Gregar Typho and Hunter for anyone in need of the translation) with the dialogue - “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

THE TIME HAS COME, TJ. TO UNLEASH GRUNTER ON THE REST OF THE WORLD. This ship is a complete crack ship that came about (accidentally) in "Guarded," so if you want to see those origins (and see if you can pinpoint the exact moment I went "Oh. Oh no. I made them like each other a lot," check that fic out. Also, there is a "Reunion" spoiler in here, so just be aware. ANYWAY...HERE YOU GO, MY BELOVED BETA-READER. MAY THE STAR WARS FANS HAVE MERCY ON THIS ROWBOAT OF A SHIP.

Rating - M (things get a wee bit *ahem* spicy)

“Gregar, I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

“It’s fine. Next briefing isn’t for another half an hour. And I’ve missed you.”

The former captain of the Naboo Royal Security Forces increased the pressure in the small of Hunter’s back as he guided him down a dimly lit hallway of the Yavin base. Turning a corner into an unlit corridor, he pulled the sergeant through a doorway, closing the door and slamming the lock button behind them.

“This is a store room,” Hunter said flatly.

“Astute observation, Sergeant,” the captain teased. “Privacy’s in short supply around here.” Gregar turned in a circle, assessing his surroundings and grinning when he was sure they were alone. “Plus,” he said, turning back towards Hunter. “As I said, I’ve missed you.”

Gregar left no doubt about how much he’d missed Hunter as he pressed him against the wall, leaning forward and caging him in with his arms as he pressed his lips to the sergeant’s. The sudden display of affection clearly had caught Hunter off-guard, but he quickly melted into the kiss as Gregar’s hand slipped around the back of his head, gently tangling in his dark hair. Hunter couldn’t help but groan as Typho moved to his jawline, the captain’s day-old scruff scratching against his own as his hands came to rest on Hunter’s hips.

Hunter turned his head, panting against the captain’s cheek as Gregar’s lips worked their way down Hunter’s throat. “Maker…I-I missed you too,” the sergeant rasped. “Are…is everything alright?”

Gregar paused, pulling back to stare at Hunter. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Hunter felt heat rising to his face. Kriff. You’ve ruined it. “You…you just haven’t ever kissed me like that. Hell, we hadn’t kissed at all until just before you left the last time. This just seems…well, it seems like something’s happened.”

Gregar sighed, resting his forehead against Hunter’s. “You really don’t miss anything do you?”

Hunter chuckled, his knuckles grazing the captain’s cheek. “Enhanced senses, remember?”

The captain searched Hunter’s expression for a few more seconds before closing his eyes, his brow furrowing. “Made a few mistakes on the last trip. Almost got Sabé killed, and while she’ll swear it’s part of the job, to leap into danger, I couldn’t live with myself if I let one more person I care for get hurt.” He slipped his hands into Hunter’s. “And any close call makes you appreciate what you have more.”

Hunter knew the question was lingering in his eyes before he asked it. “Do…do we have each other?” Gregar met his gaze and he felt his face warm again. “I mean…do…are we…”

Gregar cradled his jaw as he kissed him again, gentler this time. “If you’ll have me, I’ll be yours for as long as you can stand me.”

Hunter grinned. “You seem fairly easy to tolerate, Gregar.”

The captain chuckled. “You say that now, but give it a few months.”

Hunter rested his forehead against Gregar’s once more. “I already waited months, unsure if you felt the same way. I think I’m willing to give this an equivalent trial period.” Their lips met again, and Hunter felt as if electricity was shooting through his veins, every nerve alight.

“You said half an hour?” he panted.

Gregar pulled back, meeting his gaze and Hunter could see the hunger same reflected in his eyes. “Just about.”

“More than enough time then,” Hunter growled, reaching down to yank the captain’s shirt loose from where it was tucked into his pants. He had it halfway up Gregar’s abdomen when a loud knock on the door made them both freeze.

“Hunter? Are you in there?” Hunter felt his pulse accelerate at the sound of Omega’s voice, and he quickly clapped a hand over Gregar’s mouth.

“Yeah kid, what is it?” he said, doing his best to keep his voice even.

“Echo wanted me to come find you and let you know the briefing’s been moved up. The team is wanting to head out a little earlier.”

Hunter felt Typho exhale sharply against his fingers, a frustrated sigh. The sergeant met his eyes with an apologetic smile. “I’ll be right there,” he called out.

He heard whispering outside the door. “Why would he be in there?” More whispering.

“Fives says to bring Captain Typho with you.” A loud snicker, definitely out of Fives.

Hunter rolled his eyes, gently banging his head back against the wall behind him. “I’ll be sure to let him know when I see him.”

“Alright, see you there!” He was careful to make sure he heard two sets of footsteps moving off down the hall before he turned back to Gregar, releasing the hand over his mouth. “I’m sorry, but I did say this was a bad idea.”

The captain smiled, gripping Hunter’s chin. “I would beg to differ, Sergeant.” He leaned forward, his breath ghosting over Hunter’s lips. “I think this was a great idea.” He pressed a final kiss to Hunter’s mouth, his teeth gently grazing the sergeant’s lower lip as he pulled back. “Let’s get to that briefing then.”

“And after?”

The captain winked. “We’ll see where things take us.”

Participate in my 200 Follower Celebration! :)

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utterlyinevitable · 3 years

Note

NSFW alphabet for ethan x mc??

I’m assuming you’re referring to the nsfw alphabet otp asks?

If so, Ethan x Odette are below the cut!

Aftercare: What they’re like after sex Odette likes to lay around and cuddle for no longer than five minutes. After which she’ll hop up, trying not to make a bigger mess, and pad to the bathroom to pee and shower. Ethan definitely likes to relish in their closeness no matter who’s on top. As their relationship progresses and Odette relaxes a bit more, he actually likes to clean her up afterwards. He’ll kiss her forehead before he leaves her laying there to grab a wet cloth and wipe them both up gently, all the while looking down at her with glittering eyes and a private smile.

Body part: Their favorite body part of theirs and of their partner’s Odette loves her long, naturally straight hair and her tiny ears. She loves Ethan’s dimple and a beauty mark he has on his left ring finger. He doesn’t have a favorite part of his body. It’s a body. It functions. But if he had to choose it may as well be his toned calves. Ethan really loves her boobs, but his absolute favorite part of her is the glow of her emerald eyes of her brightest smile.

Cum: Use your imagination for this one aha (what are they like when they finish, how do they feel about their partner’s cum/face, etc) Ethan’s face changes each time with the varying degree of his orgasm - if it’s a deep and good one his entire face scrunches together and he breathlessly curses. The one constant in every orgasm is the way his nose scrunches and jaw slacks into the sexiest “0″ face. His deep, ragged breaths so erotic. Odette tries to hide her face - she hates how ugly it looks to the point that in the early stages she’d really try to keep herself from coming. But Ethan’s a giver and all it took was his loving gaze and a soft “i want to see you” as he tugged her arm off her face for her to not give a shit. The sex is fucking fantastic. Ethan thinks she’s absolutely breathtaking, and Odette adores how young he looks. They both appreciate the others vulnerability.

Dirty Secret: Do they have any secrets that would come to light during sex (not kinks) Ummm... Odette has a weird relationship with intimacy. She’s not about it, not really. She’s got to be in the right mood for sex or any sort of touching. She gets better as the relationship progresses, which is why she doesn’t sleep with someone until she’s sure they’re going to be around long-term. Usually, with her last few partners, her rule has been 6 months dating before sex. She made an exception for the rule with Ethan (just shy of 5 month mark). For Ethan it would just be that he hasn’t been intimate with anyone in about two years by the time the two get together.

Experience: How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing? Odette knows her way around a body. She’s only had two sexual partners besides Ethan, but the girl knows where everything goes and really can a girl really be bad at sex? Ethan has ten years more experience than Ode and a total of 11 sexual partners. He’s a giver and has gotten very good at perfecting his tongue technique. He knows he’s relatively easy when it comes to finishing so it’s always about his partner.

Favorite Position (Bonus horny points for including a visual) Too lazy to get a visual. Ode likes to be fucked against a wall, and Ethan prefers to have her on top.

Goofy: Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc They take turns depending on who’s initiating and where they are lol but Ethan is usually the goof. Ode likes to tease Ethan and throw little remarks his way for foreplay. Ethan is mostly more sultry and praising in the moment. He jokes back with her, matching her banter like always.

Hair: How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc. Odette is completely hairless. She’s had all her hair lasered off, except for a patch of her bush where she likes to keep the option open. She bleaches her hair so her pubic hair is a dark blonde. Ethan scapes pretty well. He’s never had any complaints.

Intimacy: How are they during the moment, romantic aspect… Odette likes romance. She actually needs it to get anything out of the act. She’s not one to be able to separate sex and her feelings. She needs mental stimulation to help get her off whether it be dimmed lights and closed eyes or Ethan talking dirty. When she’s really trying to catch an orgasm that seems like it’ll never come her way she tends to be a bit removed from the moment than Ethan would like. Ethan is very much present and very tuned into her needs. It is all and always about her. Sometimes he’s much to selfless in the bedroom for her liking. Like, when she knows she’s not gonna cum that session he doesn’t really accept that and keeps drawling it out. And then she’s gotta pull out a secret weapon to finish him off and not hurt his feelings. These two never lack intimacy - they both make sure it’s always present. Their favorite positions are the ones where they’re facing and can look and leave lingering kisses on the other’s face. Very disgustingly cute.

Jack Off: Masturbation headcanons perhaps Ode has a bullet Jackie got her ask a gag gift one Secret Snowflake. She’s only used it a handful of times while she was reading something erotic. Ethan doesn’t see the need to masturbate. Nothing could ever compare to the real thing, so why bother. Though when he did it was usually in the shower.

Kink: Does the character have a kink or a few? Ode likes roleplay and edging, being dominated and even a little bit of bondage. Once she’s comfortable enough (a year into their relationship or so) their sex gets really really fun. Ethan’s a boob man. And we know he’s an exhibitionist. He likes his balls fondled and maybe a finger up the butt if he’s drunk enough 😉

Location: Favorite places to get down and dirty She prefers to keep their business in the comfort of their own home. Ethan would like to convince her to try it in the office or their car, the sun lounger of their forever home. But he’s okay with taking things however slow she needs. Ode did let him feel up her skirt on a long Amtrak once and it’s the highlight of his year.

Motivation: What turns them on, gets them going etc Ode needs the romantic aspect of it all. She needs the validation and assertion of their relationship to be that vulnerable with someone. Bickering turns them both on immensely. Both Ethan and Ode are wildly attracted to the other’s mind so any sort of stimulating conversation or argument would get them both hot and bothered.

NO: Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs Neither would do anything degrading. Ethan’s a lil freak and willing to try most things once. Her biggest turn off is smell. There’s a difference between sultry musk and man stank. Lucky for her Ethan’s very good at cleaning himself.

Oral: Preferences in giving or receiving, skill, etc She prefers to receive. Laying there and doing nothing but running her fingers through his hair is her bread and butter, sometimes even the dessert too. As for skill level she’s average. She’s very picky about circumstances and therefore lacks lots of practice. Though she does a very wonderful thing of rolling her wrist while she’s sucking him and swirling her tongue around his tip that throws him over the edge. She keeps that little skill in her pocket and only breaks it out absolutely necessary. Ethan’s a giver. Always has been. That’s it. That’s the explanation 😂

Pace: Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc. They’re slow 90% of the time. Always savoring the moment. These two don’t have sex frequently, possibly 3x a month so it’s always a special lengthy time. The only time it’s fast and rough is if the moment calls for it and they have an understanding.

Quickie: Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc. Ode finds quickies difficult. Deep in the relationship she’s more inclined because the relationship and feels are so strong and stable she’s able to get more out of it. Ethan’s on the same wavelength. He’s not opposed to a quickie. Though he says he’s not a man of endless patience, he is for her. He’ll gladly spend hours making her feel good.

Risk: Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc. Yes, they’re okay with experimenting later in the relationship. Slow and steady they’ll make their way through all their fantasies.

Stamina: How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last… Ethan goes for rounds. Two preferably at a minimum. A normal round lasts 40 minutes; foreplay galore!!!!! Before they move in together deep relationship, Ode tends to feel gross after sex and needs to clean up and move on immediately. Ethan helps her work through this just by loving her.

Toy: Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves? Ethan finds her bullet and they use it together sometimes.

Unfair: How much they like to tease? They like to tease one another a lot. It’s a form of foreplay and declaration of love.

Volume: How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc Ethan is a grunter. And a dirty talker when coaxed. He’s also perfected his voice - low, gruff baritone that oozes sex. He’s stupidly athletic so he doesn’t run out of breath easily which is an advantage for rough play and the inevitable rounds. His mouth is usually busy kissing, sucking, biting, licking to really make any other noise than grunts or moans. He is partial to a gasp and groan when she is driving the affair and he’s utterly powerless against them 😏 Ode whines. and gasps. and tries not to make a sound because she doesn’t want to ruin the little bubble they created. if she ruins it odds are she won’t be able to finish.

Wild Card: How wild are they in the moment? Kinda touched upon above, they’re really gentle and sensual with one another. These two are figuring things out and treat one another like the most precious thing on the planet.

X-Ray: Describe what’s going on in their pants through pictures or words Ethan is well-endowed and scaped. Ode is generally bald.

Yearning: How high is their sex drive? For an old man, Ethan’s got stamina. If it was biologically possible he would always be inside her, right where he belongs. Sometimes round two is just him going down on them. Ode needs some convincing. They both know when she’s ovulating because she’s much more forward than normal.

ZZZ: How quickly they fall asleep afterwards Once she’s showered and fresh, Ode climbs into bed and reads whilst snuggled up to Ethan’s side. Ethan is always on clean up duty. It’s very rare that he’ll be too tired to roll out of bed after a session. Normally, if they had late-night sex, he’ll fall asleep 15-20 minutes later.

#boink boink #odette hall #ethan x mc #Anonymous #asked

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scribble-fics · 5 years

Note

Can I please request an A to Z on Iida please? Thank you so much.

No problem!! Thank you for requesting!! WARNING: 🚫🚫NSFW🚫🚫

A-aftercare

Iida is always slightly embarrassed after having sex just because, well..you two had sex. He'd be all fidgety and stuff until he works up the courage to ask if you're okay.

B-bodypart

I hope we all agree when i say Iida loves his legs. He's proud to be in a bloodline of pro heros and his legs are a reminder that he is an Iida.

On his s/o he loves their lips. How they always look so good enough to just kiss. Whenever he sees you bite your lip, tenya has to look away with a tiny blush.

C-cum

Iida is not one to really make a mess so he likes to wear condoms for the sake of easy cleaning. If it ever gets on you, like while you give him head or something, then he'll wipe it off for you.

D-dirty secret

He has all kinds of pictures of you that you never knew about. Mainly ones of you stretching or sprawled out on his dorm bed studying. They're super private and he makes sure no one else sees them.

E-experience

None. He knows what sex is but never actually had a step by step plan in his head so he is clueless.

F-favourite position

He likes when you're laying on the edge of the bed and he's standing. It gives him more control and helps you relax more while helping him focus on the task at hand.

G-goofy

During sex Iida is never goofy. He's serious and passionate.

After, if you mention something casually like not being able to walk then he might smile and let out a light chuckle.

H-hair

Iida normally shaves and keeps it really clean. He's never been one for looking sloppy so down there is going to look neat and organized.

I-intimacy

Very intimate. He's not going to have sex with just any ol' person so he'll be sure to remind you of how much he loves you through it all.

J-jackoff

Only if he really, REALLY needs to. But for the most part he doesn't really do it.

K-kink

He's really vanilla with kinks. Maybe he'd like very, very light bondage. Like a blindfold maybe.

L-location

The only place you guys do it is in the bedroom. So there is fine.

M-motivation

It's kinda hard to turn him on. But if you plop down in his lap while he's studying and just start grinding into him he might give in.

N-no

Not into heavy bdsm. Or the whole master thing. It defeats the purpose of two souls embracing as one if you were to call him your higher-up.

O-oral

He's a gentleman so he would much rather give than receive. However he's not going to turn down your offer.

P-pace

Tenya Iida goes somehow slow and yet still hard at the same time. Like he's passionate but also hard and rough with things.

Q-quicky

Not really into it. The thought of getting caught ruins the mood for him.

R-risk

Absolutely not??? He'd rather not think about someone walking in on you two, so he likes to make sure there is no risk.

S-stamina

Exhaustion who?? Iida can go for a really. Really. R E A L L Y long time. He has stamina for days due to his intense training. But he's not going to force extra rounds on you.

T-toy

He doesn't use them. It would be really embarrassing for him and just would rather not.

U-unfair

He's super fair. Iida wont tease that often and likes to give you what you want.

V-volume

He's mainly a grunter. Nothing too loud but loud enough for you to hear. When he's nearing his edge he'll pant slightly.

W-wildcard

First time with Iida was rough because he didn't know what he was doing so he just plunged his entire length in without preparation or lube and it was not fun.

X-Xray

Iida is average length and above average girth. Not like super swollen but its just a bit more thick.

Y-yearning

Below average. Tenya isn't as horny and sex driven as most males and has no problem taking a break from sex for a while.

Z-zzz

He most likely will be up after sex so he can watch over you and stuff. With his stamina he's probably awake and smiling while holding your body close to his.

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ordo-scriptus · 5 years

Photo

It rains. The grasslands turn to mulch. The pastures, already shot through with rot from the now days-dead cattle, are piled. An orruk lays against a grunter. A freeguilder clutches his gut. A Hedge Knight lays, his sword still buried to its hilt in the chest of a greenskin leader. All dead. Out on the left flank, there is only more death. Flame and smoke. Offal. Scraps of clothes, still clinging to something red and unrecognisable. A battered yellow helmet. He stumbles through the smoke. Shirtless, he steams with sweat, but it's lost in the pall of acrid smoke. He has a mattock in his hand, limp. There's coughing in the smoke, and screaming, but he cannot hear it. He only hears ringing. From the smoke, comes a shape. He's big, bigger than most men, a Ghur man - but this is something else. An orruk warlord, its pig-iron armour blackened and shorn by a direct hit from the rocket battery. Its hand is a ruined mess. The other, spasming claw holds an axe. Its jaw hinges in a gutteral roar. It sounds like ringing. He hefts his mattock. Stumbling from the smoke, at his back, come more men - arms bare, some humans, some duardin, most from Ghur but many otherwise. All bloodied, all coughing smoke, all with pickaxes and hammers and mattocks. Some still have their helmets. Some even still have the candles burning, affixed to hafts and helms. The Az Caraz Mining Company, deaf and dying, charges armour-piercing picks point first. #paintingwarhammer #gamesworkshop #citiesofsigmar #freeguild #freeguildguard #freeguildhalberdiers #kitbash #conversion #chaosmarauders #dwarfminers #warhammer #warhammerfantasy #warhammeraos #ageofsigmar #aos #warhammerdogsofwar #regimentsofrenown #hobbystreak #hobbystreakday16 https://www.instagram.com/p/B3aT4i2n3wp/?igshid=1klgsf3pyvi1i

#paintingwarhammer #gamesworkshop #citiesofsigmar #freeguild #freeguildguard #freeguildhalberdiers #kitbash #conversion #chaosmarauders #dwarfminers #warhammer #warhammerfantasy #warhammeraos #ageofsigmar #aos #warhammerdogsofwar #regimentsofrenown #hobbystreak #hobbystreakday16

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ticklystuff · 1 year

Note

r-ruin grunter?? 😭

yes ruin grunter would you like to learn more about my new fave ship?

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libidomechanica · 5 years

Text

Of Bodies ruine me

Of Bodies ruine me? S Eye; but what is me, with a fugitive relish, through he had loved, weary side. The monarchs heir and hot his eyes so much more partner, and little “blase”—t is going all that fell a-talking, whom the green, and adore. For a dreaming floods and New

York, reading feather, world is muchel am I forgiveness. In all imagined creatures of Hercules of all lookd down hill, Had not was but his sweetness lively readers flown, & above the deemd my Mind. and dreary, he could get where Dante found a kiss, but here is Marcien. When be

Infamy to stirring Bacchus and even Sometimes, colors, and Raisd in blood you have paces old. A bleed, but turnd, and stray Bird one hand and none in that now shines, two name upon thy mother live soothing by each side bowing how brightest Fair than where she huge and trembleth of wild and exposure,

and having old Sleep- dissembling desperate her up and deft, some the syrinx flag, that strew the dusky quite from thence, and the roode beem, al is foregone Reproaching pale uncertain;—these loads of good taste: the truth a new purchase; also may move, wandering, as thought I the flowers,

and her high state, and of herbs, both but a great gods, and of reede; Husbands on therby, I kan nat kepe hir housbonde hidden, when, a flash, as thought little taper? I cry their bad taste were;— too old kings are worst damages of that, being forth a lady, how thee me. And I shall never was

Tertulan, crisippus, Trotula, and cold to blame: her auburn tress. Sike as frely as bristled grunters can confound, they stay away for hectic phthisics, and thing valley. The thre level waste garden- ground slender dreerie death; and away do but end prolongd to invented base of

Amber Snuff-box justly Destiny, it pushed to sleeping, by all forever a wounds that I must die. But, Tibbie, lass, his very sort of straw-fire flares like and toss in the night at the thyme; ye woot well where palpable in clouds, with the supplicator being me more profession ends.

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 6 #256 texts

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coffeecreamerwriting · 5 years

Text

Not SFW A-Z headcanons: Keiichiro Kira

no one else wants Daddy Kira to be a love interest except for me and I’m OK with that

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He’s surprisingly attentive. Quick to cuddle and kiss your forehead and tell you, you did a good job. He genuinely wants to make sure you’re OK.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favourite body part would have to be his arms, when he was younger they were the talk of the town and every woman wanted to know what it would be like to be held in them. His favourite body part on you are your thighs, he’s a thigh man through and through and yours are the best he has ever seen.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

We all know Keiichiro has never and will never pull out. He literally doesn’t know what it means but it sounds awful. Have your baby names and birth control pills at the ready.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He wants you to go to work with your hair a mess and your lipstick around your face and a giant love bite on your neck. Let the whole world know that you’re sleeping with your boss and unashamed of it. Of course, it would be entirely unprofessional and both of you take your jobs much too seriously for that but a man has got to have dreams.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Super experienced. Even if the only times he ever had sex was to make his kids (which is so not the case) he would be plenty experienced.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

He likes cowgirl. The weight of your thighs on his and the way your bodies just press together so closely....it’s the only reason he works out.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He’s serious. He’s not a humorous person by nature and he’s not going to change that during sex. However, if you are a more humorous person in the bedroom then he’ll gradually loosen up a bit more too to better accommodate you.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

The carpet is a bit more grey than the drapes but there is still some black. He keeps it groomed enough and no one has ever had any complaints and he refuses to go fully waxed. He’s too old for that shit.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He is completely focused on the moment. Phone off, work the furthest thing from his mind and he expects the same for you. This is a moment that exists only between you two and nothing else in the world matters.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He doesn’t do and hasn’t done since adolescence and even then it wasn’t as much as his friends. He never saw the point in it when there’s actual sex to be had and he’s never had problems getting sex.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He likes it when you wear his suit jacket and tie. Not when the tie is loose around your neck and the suit jacket slipping off (although he’ll admit that he loves that too) but when you’re trying to do a proper job of it. You just look so mature yet so young and it drives him wild.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

The bedroom. Tried and true location and even if it’s not your favourite no one hates having sex in a bedroom. It’s what they were made for right?

He’s also fond of the back of limos. Seeing you all dressed up and ready to wow the crowd makes him want to ensure that you don’t forget who you belong to.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Seeing you at work, especially when you two used to pretend there was nothing going between you two. You take your job so seriously and your dedication to the hotel...to him...it warms his heart in both a romantic and sexual way.

There is also his secret fantasy aspect of it, of one day ruining you so completely and having you walk around like that letting the world know that you’re more intimately aware of the inner workings of the Kira group than anyone else.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Don’t call him Daddy. He will settle for literally anything else- Master, Sir, King, Mister, but Daddy just makes him think of his sons and that is just ew.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He prefers to receive. He loves the way you work and how your knees get all red and how your mouth feels around him.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He prefers going fast and rough. He’ll go slow if you ask him but he always want to go rough. He wants every action to take your breath away. He doesn’t like going too slow because he worries that he’ll go way too slow for both of you because of his age.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He’s against quickies. He was never a fan of them. He likes reveling in the moment, even in cars he doesn’t like waiting until you both are pulling up to the event. He likes starting from the very beginning of the journey to have as much time as possible.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

It ain’t fun without risks. The risk of pregnancy, the risk of getting caught, he needs at least one risk at any given time.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He can go for three straight rounds although each subsequent round lasts longer than the first. It sounds nice but sometimes he knows it’s lasting longer than he would like and he’s sure that it’s also longer than you would like.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He owns them but he doesn’t like them. Call him old but he prefers just the old fashioned method none of these technological advances. He doesn’t even care much for ropes or handcuffs, his ties will do the trick.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

A total tease. Sitting next to him will result in his fingers tracing the inside of your thigh. There is no if ands or buts about it. Don’t even try to suggest you two taking it to the bathroom or back to the limo. He is the only one that gets to decide that.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Not that loud. He’s quite afraid of having one of his sons walk in because he loathes the idea of them seeing you when you look so tempting and the price of therapy bills if they saw their father having sex.

He’s a grunter for most of it but towards the end he’ll let out a soft moan that’s so sensual that if you were somehow not turned on yet, you would be.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

You once had to take him in to the doctor to make sure he didn’t have a concussion because he hit his head quite hard on the car door when you two were leaving the backseat on your way to a film festival.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

7 inches/17.8 cm. He’s a shower not a grower. It’s quite curved but other than that pretty standard. He’s proud of it all the same.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Very high. He’s the same as when he was a teenager. Maybe even higher.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It takes him a while. After providing you with the proper aftercare, he turns around and puts his reading glasses on to go over any papers he hadn’t already or to finish reading an article on his iPad that he didn’t get the chance to at breakfast. He makes sure to never take any calls or respond to any e-mails because he doesn’t want to go into total work mode and ruin the afterglow.

#this is self indulgent #several shades of sadism #sss several shades #keiichiro kira #keiichiro kira headcanons #several shades of sadism headcanons #keichiro kira #keichiro kira headcanons #let's try to get this past tumblr's filters

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bloodandcream · 7 years

Text

Title: getting on like a tent on fire

Pairing: CastielxMegxSam

Rating: Mature

Wordcount: 1,866

Notes: au, established MegxSam, written for @spnpolybingo, using the ‘Meet Weird’ square

Castiel’s solo camping retreats were usually a time of quiet contemplation. A time to reconnect more deeply with nature, and rejuvenate his spirits. Usually deep woods primitive camping was what he needed, to isolate and meditate in peace. But with it being a chilly early November, he had figured the Hocking Hills state park wouldn’t be too crowded. There were lovely hiking trails and several lakes with kayaking and canoeing rentals. It had been ages since he’d been canoeing.

As expected, after the modest weekend crowd cleared out, there was only one other occupied camp site aside from Castiel on Monday. A couple, occupying a site three spots down from Castiel’s shady patch of paradise.

It was quiet and restful during the day. Exactly what he needed, stretched out in the grass under dappled sunlight with a sweater rolled up beneath his head and a book in his hands. Castiel expected it to be a calm week.

But, even three camp sites down from him, he could hear the couple having sex at night.

Very loud, very vigorous sex.

Castiel would not deny that he had a healthy, and varied, sexual appetite. But these two. They were insatiable. As soon as dusk settled, he could hear them. You might think that a few soft moans and the creak of an air mattress would be easily muffled through the steady rise and fall of the forest’s noise - the owls and frogs and insects and creatures rustling through the brush.

But oh, no.

She was a screamer.

He could swear he heard the repetitive, loud and sharp crack of someone being spanked at one point. Honestly, he wasn’t sure which one of them would be the giver or the receiver.

Eventually, it would die down, and Castiel would fall asleep, but several nights that week he was woken up in the middle of the night by their noises again. And in the morning, sun just under the horizon line and the sky gray, mist creeping through the hills.

This week was supposed to be about finding his inner peace and balance.

Instead, Castiel was going to chafe his dick raw with all the frantic masturbating.

He saw the guy in the shower house a few times. Never did get a name, but the guy smiled at him politely in passing and gave a cheerful hello.

Gods, he was beautiful. Wearing only swim trunks and flip flops, long hair loose and messy, all ruffled after the shower. Sculpted abs and an iliac furrow to make you cry. Even his feet were graceful. And Castiel, he couldn’t blame the guy’s partner on climbing that every chance she could get.

Castiel passed her a few times to the water pump. Dark hair pulled back in a sloppy ponytail, always scowling and swatting at bugs. She wore jeans and spaghetti strap shirts. Castiel very politely tried not to stare at the swell of her cleavage or the patterns of her tattoos the one time he went to the water pump when she was already there, half bent over, grunting as she lay her weight on the handle.

He would have offered to assist her, if he hadn’t had the distinct feeling that she might eviscerate him for suggesting that she needed his help.

Castiel learned that his name was Sam. She screamed it loud enough. He didn’t learn what her name was, though, from overhearing their frenzied night-time activities. Sam was more of a grunter.

Come Thursday, Castiel was not well rested, nor had he managed to reach any insight. Other than that his libido was not actually calming down with middle age, as he had supposed, but rather that he needed to get out more.

At least he had gone canoeing a few times, seen the waterfalls, taken some excellent photos of a doe and her fawn.

He was fairly certain that the couple three camp-sites down were well aware that he could hear them at night - and several times in the middle of the day. By Thursday, he suspected that they found amusement in it, if the woman’s sly smile the last time he saw her was anything to go by.

So he had no compunctions of overhearing what he shouldn’t or acting inappropriately when he went to bed. That night, he laid down in his tent with one of the window flaps open to the screen, and slicked his hand with spit in anticipation while he waited.

The light that flickered on in their tent , obstructed by vegetation but visible, was different from the white l.e.d. glow of a lantern. Erratic and more orange, Castiel wondered if they had lit some candles for the romance factor. That didn’t seem like a safe idea.

He didn’t dwell much on it when he heard “Yeah, shit, eat my ass, you gonna fuck me there with that big dick tonight?”

As the week had progressed, they’d grown louder and more narrative.

Castiel couldn’t help wonder if it was for his benefit.

It was very easy to conjure a visual of her kneeling at the edge of an air mattress, plump ass pushed up, Sam with his face buried between pale thighs. Castiel wondered if he put his hair in a ponytail when he had sex, or if he left it loose, let it stick to his forehead with sweat.

“Oh shit!”

That… did not sound like a sexy ‘oh shit’.

Sitting up, hand still on his dick, Castiel squinted through the window screen on his tent.

“Fuck toss the gear out!”

“Fuck that!”

Something was on fire.

It was their tent.

Oh shit.

Fumbling with the zipper on his tent, Castiel scrambled out and across his camp-site to the picnic table, grabbed the mostly full five gallon water tank and ran through the trees cutting across the empty sites between them.

He realized, twigs and pebbles and prickly thorny plants scraping his feet up, that he wasn’t wearing any shoes. Or clothes. Branches and brush smacked against him, but he arrived, panting, to help douse the raging fire of their collapsed, melting nylon tent.

There were a few duffel bags thrown across the camp-site, the woman pouring their own supply of water onto the tent when Castiel joined her. Sam found a thick blanket in their supplies, and once the water had tamed the fire somewhat, he started smacking the blanket over it.

Sweating from the heat and smudged with smoke, probably bleeding from running naked through the camp grounds like an idiot, Castiel stood with his empty water container.

The couple were still naked too.

And somehow, despite all expectations, Sam had a bigger dick than Castiel had though.

“Uh. Thanks. For the help.” Sam said, holding the still slightly smoking blanket in front of his crotch.

Castiel held his water container in front of his crotch and coughed, throat a little raw from the smoke. “You’re welcome.”

The woman put both hands on her hips, smiled at him. Or it might have been a leer. “Well, aren’t you just a big hero.”

“Meg,” the guy sighed, “Be nice.”

As the glowing ruins of the tent died down, the dark settled. At least the sky was relatively cloud free and the moon was mostly full, silver light illuminating the tiny clearing of the camp-site, and the awkward trio gathered there.

“Seriously, thanks. I’m Sam. What’s your name?”

Sam held out a hand to shake, which Castiel accepted after stepping further around the smoking pile of tent, the stench of burning nylon stinging his nose. He did not mention that he already knew that the guy’s name was Sam because he’d heard Meg screaming it.

“I’m Castiel.”

And because he was blunt and clueless, Castiel found it necessary to ask, “Why did you have an open flame in your tent tonight? That’s highly unsafe.”

“Been watching us, huh?” Meg asked without it sounding much like a question, more like a smug observation.

“We ran out of batteries for the lantern.” Sam told him.

Castiel stared at the charred ruins. “You couldn’t just fornicate in the dark like normal people?”

Meg’s laughter was raucous and unabashed. “Hey, come on, wouldn’t you want to watch all of that mounting you?”

When she gestured at Sam, he coughed and pursed his lips, giving her a look that only made her laugh more.

“That’s a good point.” Castiel conceded.

When Castiel had offered to share his tent, it was honestly an act of good intentions. It was too late to find a motel to stay at. It might rain. It was too cold to sleep in the open air. He certainly hadn’t been the first one to initiate sex.

It was a small tent, only intended for him and his gear, and he didn’t have an air mattress. Just padding and blankets. So it was cozy between the three of them.

Of course he had put on some boxers. Before Sam sat him down at the picnic table and, using Castiel’s lantern equipped with working batteries, had cleaned and picked briars out of his feet. While Meg rifled through his chest of food supplies, helping herself to a granola bar.

Castiel wouldn’t make any assumptions about the sort of relationship they had. He had only the best of intentions. And half a chubby, but that wasn’t his fault.

After they’d cleaned up and zipped themselves into the tent for the night, Meg didn’t turn the lantern off. She set it into the corner. Straddled Castiel’s lap and scratched through his hair, grinding against him, before she asked, “So, do you want to watch him fuck me or do you want him to fuck you?”

And for all that Sam had appeared the shy nice guy, as soon as Castiel said, “Fuck me,” Sam turned savage.

Although Castiel had come into the woods seeking a peaceful retreat, he had to admit that sex could be rather enlightening as well. Certainly, with Sam’s wide hands pulling his hips back and that cock buried so deep inside him Castiel could almost taste it, with his face squeezed between Meg’s thighs as she screamed his name, certainly there was something to be learned here.

He could figure it out later, after he’d licked her taste from his lips, feeling turned inside out and tenderized by Sam. After they curled up around him like bookends. Or two slices of bread held together by jelly. After the next morning when Meg rode his dick and Sam fucked his face, cradling his head and thumbing away the overwhelmed tears. After that.

Castiel was still working on figuring it out, weeks later, after they’d traded contact info and found that they lived a mere hour away from each other.

An ice cream parlor wasn’t the first place he’d of thought they might suggest. But watching Sam licking around a rainbow sprinkled frozen yogurt cone with the intensity and focus of an eager child while Meg slid her foot up between Castiel’s legs under the table, he realized something.

Perhaps the only thing to learn was to accept the good things that life brought his way. Whether they came through intention, or a tent fire.

#fic #alternate universe #camping au #meet weird #castielxmegxsam #megxsam #as the pre-established relationship #spnpolybingo

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