#run java program

[amara-laz]

crying bc java is objectively better for this project i'm working on but i like python better </3

[laisai]

he invented javascript?!?!

😭

I see people talking about the Brave browser in the whole Firefox vs chrome debate, and while people rightly point out that it's just chromium and that they do shady cryptocurrency shit, I never see anyone point out that Brave's founder and CEO is Brandan Eich.

He founded Brave after massive protests against him becoming CEO of Mozilla, resigning after 11 days. And the reason for those protests? He donated a lot of money to the Prop 8 campaign to ban gay marriage.

So just remember: it's not just another chromium fork, it's not just a browser with cryptocurrency bullshit, it's also the browser founded by a homophobe because he got kicked out of his former organization for being a homophobe.

Also, he invented Javascript. I'm willing to believe that maybe he has grown on the gay marriage issue, and made amends for his former mistakes. But Javascript cannot be forgiven.

[non-threatening-feminist-boy]

okay so i decided to finally start writing again by writing some fanfiction. But, me being me, what did i decide to use for that? Word? Perhaps google docs? Maybe even email drafts? Writing app on my phone??? Nope. (Okay kinda.)

My old Nokia N97

[sad--tree]

i need to do my java assignment. i need to start my java assignment. i need to open my java assignment and look at it. i need to do my java assignment. i need to do my java assignment. i need to complete to-dos in my java assignment. i need to do my java assignment.

(<- is too afraid and overwhelmed to write a single new line of code in the java assignment)

[pankiepoo]

Pankie's Fan Shimeji!

(ignore the terrible quality)

Installation instructions below!

INSTALLATION INSTRUCTIONS:

(Computer only) Export the zip folder, download the latest Java, and then run the executable!

Right-click on Fan or the little program icon to prompt actions/change settings!

There's a readme for help with troubleshooting in case it doesn't work!

(Song - A Party Instrumental from Inanimate Insanity (sped up + pitched))

[mariacallous]

The so-called Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) is starting to put together a team to migrate the Social Security Administration’s (SSA) computer systems entirely off one of its oldest programming languages in a matter of months, potentially putting the integrity of the system—and the benefits on which tens of millions of Americans rely—at risk.

The project is being organized by Elon Musk lieutenant Steve Davis, multiple sources who were not given permission to talk to the media tell WIRED, and aims to migrate all SSA systems off COBOL, one of the first common business-oriented programming languages, and onto a more modern replacement like Java within a scheduled tight timeframe of a few months.

Under any circumstances, a migration of this size and scale would be a massive undertaking, experts tell WIRED, but the expedited deadline runs the risk of obstructing payments to the more than 65 million people in the US currently receiving Social Security benefits.

“Of course, one of the big risks is not underpayment or overpayment per se; [it’s also] not paying someone at all and not knowing about it. The invisible errors and omissions,” an SSA technologist tells WIRED.

The Social Security Administration did not immediately reply to WIRED’s request for comment.

SSA has been under increasing scrutiny from president Donald Trump’s administration. In February, Musk took aim at SSA, falsely claiming that the agency was rife with fraud. Specifically, Musk pointed to data he allegedly pulled from the system that showed 150-year-olds in the US were receiving benefits, something that isn’t actually happening. Over the last few weeks, following significant cuts to the agency by DOGE, SSA has suffered frequent website crashes and long wait times over the phone, The Washington Post reported this week.

This proposed migration isn’t the first time SSA has tried to move away from COBOL: In 2017, SSA announced a plan to receive hundreds of millions in funding to replace its core systems. The agency predicted that it would take around five years to modernize these systems. Because of the coronavirus pandemic in 2020, the agency pivoted away from this work to focus on more public-facing projects.

Like many legacy government IT systems, SSA systems contain code written in COBOL, a programming language created in part in the 1950s by computing pioneer Grace Hopper. The Defense Department essentially pressured private industry to use COBOL soon after its creation, spurring widespread adoption and making it one of the most widely used languages for mainframes, or computer systems that process and store large amounts of data quickly, by the 1970s. (At least one DOD-related website praising Hopper's accomplishments is no longer active, likely following the Trump administration’s DEI purge of military acknowledgements.)

As recently as 2016, SSA’s infrastructure contained more than 60 million lines of code written in COBOL, with millions more written in other legacy coding languages, the agency’s Office of the Inspector General found. In fact, SSA’s core programmatic systems and architecture haven’t been “substantially” updated since the 1980s when the agency developed its own database system called MADAM, or the Master Data Access Method, which was written in COBOL and Assembler, according to SSA’s 2017 modernization plan.

SSA’s core “logic” is also written largely in COBOL. This is the code that issues social security numbers, manages payments, and even calculates the total amount beneficiaries should receive for different services, a former senior SSA technologist who worked in the office of the chief information officer says. Even minor changes could result in cascading failures across programs.

“If you weren't worried about a whole bunch of people not getting benefits or getting the wrong benefits, or getting the wrong entitlements, or having to wait ages, then sure go ahead,” says Dan Hon, principal of Very Little Gravitas, a technology strategy consultancy that helps government modernize services, about completing such a migration in a short timeframe.

It’s unclear when exactly the code migration would start. A recent document circulated amongst SSA staff laying out the agency’s priorities through May does not mention it, instead naming other priorities like terminating “non-essential contracts” and adopting artificial intelligence to “augment” administrative and technical writing.

Earlier this month, WIRED reported that at least 10 DOGE operatives were currently working within SSA, including a number of young and inexperienced engineers like Luke Farritor and Ethan Shaotran. At the time, sources told WIRED that the DOGE operatives would focus on how people identify themselves to access their benefits online.

Sources within SSA expect the project to begin in earnest once DOGE identifies and marks remaining beneficiaries as deceased and connecting disparate agency databases. In a Thursday morning court filing, an affidavit from SSA acting administrator Leland Dudek said that at least two DOGE operatives are currently working on a project formally called the “Are You Alive Project,” targeting what these operatives believe to be improper payments and fraud within the agency’s system by calling individual beneficiaries. The agency is currently battling for sweeping access to SSA’s systems in court to finish this work. (Again, 150-year-olds are not collecting social security benefits. That specific age was likely a quirk of COBOL. It doesn’t include a date type, so dates are often coded to a specific reference point—May 20, 1875, the date of an international standards-setting conference held in Paris, known as the Convention du Mètre.)

In order to migrate all COBOL code into a more modern language within a few months, DOGE would likely need to employ some form of generative artificial intelligence to help translate the millions of lines of code, sources tell WIRED. “DOGE thinks if they can say they got rid of all the COBOL in months, then their way is the right way, and we all just suck for not breaking shit,” says the SSA technologist.

DOGE would also need to develop tests to ensure the new system’s outputs match the previous one. It would be difficult to resolve all of the possible edge cases over the course of several years, let alone months, adds the SSA technologist.

“This is an environment that is held together with bail wire and duct tape,” the former senior SSA technologist working in the office of the chief information officer tells WIRED. “The leaders need to understand that they’re dealing with a house of cards or Jenga. If they start pulling pieces out, which they’ve already stated they’re doing, things can break.”

[speaksleazy]

♬♪ .. living，retro computer id pack﹙for anonymous ﹚♯ predominantly androgynous.

names ⇢ lovebytes，calware，malakai，halware，atari，AM，wheatley，chip，malwaria，micah，mickey，hal，zip，zap，tessa，tecca，emoticon﹙emoticonnie﹚，bailey，sean，cursor，pascal，cache，java﹙javascript﹚，data，click﹙clicky，clickie，clicker﹚，myspace，wirehead，whirr，solitaire，paige，peyton﹙payton﹚，electronica，talia﹙digitalia﹚，fax，circe，programatha，juno，will

pronouns ⇢ it its，bit byte，beep boop，click clack，key keys keyboard，whirr whirrs，pix pixel pixelated，CPU CPUs，compute computer，route router，win windows，sentient sentience，wire wires wired，err error，pro program programmed，soft software，hard hardware，cir circuit circuitboard，click scroll，404 404s，404 page not found，^_^ ^_^s，:-) :-D，o_o >_>，🔌 🔌s，💻 💻s，🖥 🖥s，⌨ ⌨s，🖱 🖱s，💽 💽s，💾 💾s，💿 💿s，📀 📀s，🔇 🔊

titles ⇢ the man﹙woman，girl，boy，gal，guy，being，thing﹚in the machine，the one behind your screen﹙The one behind your LCD screen﹚，＿ who is running on flash﹙can be replaced with any software﹚，＿ technological form，＿ wires，＿＿ with a circuitboard in place of ＿ brain，ms. paint，＿＿ plugged into the wall，your mechanical﹙technological，electronic﹚best friend

ids ⇢ Aiwarix，Vietechxic，Digitalbeing，Technobodiment，8bitgender，Technoperspeque，Girlvirtual，Nonbinaryvirtual，Boyvirtual，Virualors，Oldcomputic，Win10gender，Byteic，Aithing，Dynirusic，Digirealgender

users ⇢ Lovebytez，﹙name﹚-﹙4-digit number﹚，0100000101001101，7653r70¹，hi-040405，computers-cant-byte，machinery-and-me，35784m5¹，circuitboard4brains，malwaria，b-i-n-a-r-y，c-i-r-c-u-i-t，https-﹙name﹚-dot-com，thinking-in-1s-and-0s，1s-and-0s-and-1s，benevolentware，wifiwifey，pluginbestfriend，pluginplaything

¹ Combining random numbers and letters can be used to make more usernames like this.

[canmom]

you read ML research (e.g. arxiv, state of ai, various summaries), you find an overwhelming blizzard of new techniques, clever new applications and combinations of existing techniques, new benchmarks to refine this or that limitation, relentless jumps in capabilities that seem unstoppable (e.g. AI video generation took off way faster than I ever anticipated). at some point you start to see how Károly Zsolnai-Fehér became such a parody of himself!

you read ed zitron & similar writers and you hear about an incomprehensibly unprofitable industry, an obscene last-gasp con from a cancerous, self-cannibalising tech sector that seems poised to take the rest of the system down with it once the investors realise nobody actually cares to pay for AI anything like what it costs to run. and you think, while perhaps he presents the most negative possible read on what the models are capable of, it's hard to disagree with his analysis of the economics.

you read lesswrong & cousins, and everyone's talking about shoggoths wearing masks and the proper interpretation of next-token-prediction as they probe the LLMs for deceptive behaviour with an atmosphere of paranoid but fascinated fervour. or else compile poetic writing with a mystic air as they celebrate a new form of linguistic life. and sooner or later someone will casually say something really offputting about eugenics. they have fiercely latched onto playing with the new AI models, and some users seem to have better models than most of how they do what they do. but their whole deal from day 1 was conjuring wild fantasies about AI gods taking over the world (written in Java of course) and telling you how rational they are for worrying about this. so... y'know.

you talk to an actual LLM and it produces a surprisingly sharp, playful and erudite conversation about philosophy of mind and an equally surprising ability to carry out specific programming tasks and pull up deep cuts, but you have to be constantly on guard against the inherent tendency to bullshit, to keep in mind what the LLM can't do and learn how to elicit the type of response you want and clean up its output. is it worth the trouble? what costs should be borne to see such a brilliant toy, an art piece that mirrors a slice of the human mind?

you think about the news from a few months ago where israel claimed to be using an AI model to select palestinians in gaza to kill with missiles and drones. an obscene form of statswashing, but they'd probably kill about the same number of people, equally at random, regardless. probably more of that to come. the joke of all the 'constitutional AI', 'helpful harmless assistant' stuff is that the same techniques would work equally well to make the model be anything you want. that twat elon musk already made a racist LLM.

one day the present AI summer and corresponding panics will burn out, and all this noise will cohere into a clear picture of what these new ML techniques are actually good for and what they aren't. we'll have a pile of trained models, probably some work on making them smaller and more efficient to run, and our culture will have absorbed their existence and figured out a suitable set of narratives and habits around using them in this or that context. but i'm damned if I know how it will look by then, and what we'll be left with after the bubble.

if i'm gonna spend all this time reading shit on my computer i should get back to umineko lmao

[goopyradio]

It's here! Our newest product - VOXEJI !

If you don't know, a shimeji is a program where a character roams around your computer screen (in this case, it's our lovely Vox) 

If you already know how to download them, here's the link:

https://www.mediafire.com/file/mmcj5k9riqe3lph/Vox_Shimeji.zip/file

Otherwise, see below for install instructions!

You need:

Java

Windows 10 or 11 (may work on other OSes, not tested)

Instructions:

1. Click the link above, and hit download 2. Find Vox Shimeji.zip in your downloads > right click > extract all > extract 3. You should now have a file called Vox Shimeji - open it, then open the Vox folder 4. Double click shimeji-ee.jar or shimeji-ee.exe 5. His little Voxtek logo should appear at the bottom right of the screen. On Windows 11, it might be inside the little ^ menu 6. A moment later, he should fall onto the screen! Right click him for more options or just let him run around

Edit: If the icon appears but Vox doesn't, please try this download link instead! https://www.mediafire.com/file/dy5ric3qa07h9yd/Vox_V2.zip/file

If you encounter any trouble, message me and I'll help fix it!

[tinylongwing]

Top five small birds go

PICKING ONLY 5 is CRUEL but I don't have time for 10. Species names will have the links to photo sources where applicable.

Long-tailed Manakin. They take like 4-5 years for the males to learn their dances and each year they look a little more like adults to match their experience! They are little and yet have very long tails!! And cute little caps! Very elegant tiny birds.

(Photo by me, bird handled and released on site with permits as part of MoSI, a long-running collaborative research program).

2. Wrentit. Look past the plain gray exterior, let me teach you some BIRD FACTS because these guys are basically aliens. They live in a very small part of the west coast of North America in scrub/chaparral, and we still don't really know how they got there or where their nearest relatives are or what birds they're even related to, though recently they think maybe it's parrotbills, which are otherwise mostly found in SE Asia.

During the breeding season, most female birds develop a brood patch, a section of bare skin on the belly for aiding in heat transfer to the eggs, and most male birds develop a swollen cloaca to facilitate sperm transfer. In some species where males help incubate, they also get brood patches. This is fine. Male Wrentits get brood patches. A little weird but not too crazy. Female Wrentits, however, get a swollen cloaca? Why?? Nothing else in North America does this? I don't.... understand.

Also they're cute, they have a song that's like a bouncy ball going down stairs, and males and females have slightly different songs, so even though we can't determine the sex in the hand like with normal birds, at least if they sing you can tell. Normal birds don't sing when being handled. Wrentits definitely sometimes do. I don't get it. But I love them for it.

(Photo mine, bird banded and released on site with permits as part of MAPS, a long-term research program).

3. Calliope Hummingbird. Itty bitty tiny creature, would absolutely spear you to death with its face if it thought it could pull that off. Hummingbirds in general are territorial and aggressive and these guys are no exception. Also they're beautiful. Look at that starburst of a face!

(I have photos but don't want to go dig them up, I'm lazy)

4. Java Sparrow. Help, I'm hopelessly charmed by how adorable they are. Unfortunately, apparently everyone else is too, and these are now critically endangered in their home range of Java due to habitat loss and poaching for the pet trade. The good?? news is they're also super invasive in places like Hawaii, so they're not about to go globally extinct, so that's cool, I guess.

5. Micronesian Rufous Fantail, formerly just Rufous Fantail, aka chichirika na'abak because look I don't know proper indigenous names for everything but I do for my study birds and I support their use. Chichirika is CHamoru for "showoff" and na'abak is "the one who will lead you astray", after the local stories of kids trying to follow these delightful little low-flitting creatures through the jungles and getting hopelessly lost, leading to village search parties.

Anyway, look at that tail!! Go listen to their cute little squeaks! I'm absolutely in love. I've banded literal hundreds of these and they never ever get old. Every single one of them is a treasure to me.

(Photo by me, bird banded and released on site as part of my very most beloved own tropical forest bird research program in the Northern Mariana Islands).

[agentzedbooks]

Reformatting

(Some people can't afford my Amazon stories, and some can't get them in their home country, so here's a fun little freebie. I hope you like it! *giggle*)

Lilah had been battling with this system for over an hour. Some executive had downloaded a virus on their laptop and it kept redirecting them to websites full of weird code.

She had removed the infected files and run multiple scans, but somehow the damned virus was hiding in the bios. She had to manually edit the code, remove the offending lines and double-check the hard drive for any more remnants.

But it had taken a lot of work. She brushed her dark hair back out of her face and adjusted her glasses. So far, it looked like the system was cleaned. The final scan had detected nothing. But this particular virus had been tough, and nobody else she knew had encountered anything quite like it.

It didn't act like your typical virus, other than the way it burrowed deep into the system. It mostly seemed to just redirect web browsing to these pages full of text. She'd disregarded most of what she'd seen, but she couldn't help being curious about it. The pages didn't really do anything to the system. The code seemed like gibberish. She knew her programming languages, and it was some weird patois of HTML, Java, C++, and a few items she couldn't quite identify. And she caught the browsers sending out packets of data to an unknown address, and when she looked up that address and tracked the IP, it seemed to be a junk address on an abandoned server somewhere. It wasn't sending hard drive data, she was sure of that, it's almost like it was just pinging and hoping for a response. Of course none came, and so she filed that away as another minor mystery. It must be some old out-of-date phishing software.

But it seemed she had finally cleansed the system. She let out a sigh of relief. She'd spent her entire morning on this, and though working from home had it's advantages, she also desperately needed a shower and something to eat. She pushed herself away and went to the bathroom. She stripped off the sweatpants and undergarments and let the hot water cleanse her of the stress. She had actually beaten the silly thing. Still, the many mysteries of the virus nagged at her.

Once she was dry, she went back into her bedroom to get dressed, and saw the computer she'd been working on seemed to have rebooted. She let out a long sigh.

"Still?!" She walked over and saw it had brought the browser up to another one of those strange pages. That weird mix of code was there again. She put on her glasses and tried to make sense of it.

Lilah blinked, and felt something... something compelling her. She frowned and looked up from the screen. She... She needed to do something. She had forgotten something, or maybe it was a fragment of a dream or a memory.

She went to her front door and saw a small package had come in the mail. It was square, about two inches wide, eight inches on each side.

She opened the plastic, and then the cardboard that was inside. Sitting there in bubble wrap was a headset, bubblegum pink, with little bunny ears coming up from the top. She blinked. It was not the kind of thing she'd order. She'd seen a lot of eGirls have headgear like this, but she'd always been a little too self conscious, and not the most shapely girl.

She walked back to the bedroom and sat down in front of the screen. It seemed... important to look at the code again. She peered through it and after a moment, she began to understand what it was telling her. It was disjointed, and someone without her experience might never have deciphered it, but she could tell now that it was almost like instructions to... a person? The first few lines indicated connecting something. She looked at the pink headset in her hands. She... She needed to connect this.

It was crazy, of course. It didn't make any sense. But she was determined to MAKE it make sense. So she removed the little bluetooth chit, and slid it into the USB slot on the side. She put the headset on.

As she did, she heard an immediate boop, and the words "Connection Established."

The headset tingled, and buzzed for a moment. This startled her, but then she looked back to the code on the screen and it became easier to decipher.

"Begin reformatting," she whispered.

She didn't realize the microphone was active, nor that she'd even uttered a word, it was like her brain was carrying out instructions from this code.

There was that static fuzz again, and Lilah felt her body sink back into the chair. Her towel fell off her, and the buzz filled her head. The page changed, and new code scrolled along the screen. As it did, the headset seemed to pulse and reinforce what she was reading.

Her mind grew foggier, the edges of her vision blurring, and her body responding with strange tingles all over her body.

The laptop hummed and she heard it's cooling fan speed up.

But she was too entranced by the code instructions. She allowed all that code to go into her brain, and every time it did, it seemed to copy over something. She couldn't remember much about her job, the company, her bosses, but suddenly she was filled with a light bubbly feeling like her mind was literally being scrubbed with sudsy soap.

Without her even realizing, a big empty smile spread over her face.

"Partitions cleaned," said a voice in her head, "OS installed."

"Begin System Restart," she whispered, obeying the code that flashed on the screen before her.

Her eyes closed, and she felt herself sinking into a deep sleep. Even with her eyes shut, the code flashed across her vision, and the headset whispered to her.

She had no way to know how long she swam in that fuzzy, warm darkness, but she felt so at peace there she never wanted to leave.

But soon her eyes opened on their own, and the screen showed a login, but not the normal login screen. This one was all bubblegum pink, with light blue highlights, and the profile was neither hers nor her boss's, but it said "Li-Li."

Somehow, she knew the password.

"Bunnygirl27!"

She entered the password, and the screen flickered to life. More code flashed before her eyes for a moment, then the headset pulsed in a way that sent a shock through her whole body.

"Reformatting physical hardware," said a whisper. It sounded like a woman's voice, but not a flat computer tone, a sensuous, sultry female voice, like a lover or a dominant Mistress.

For some reason, this idea made her excited.

She felt the pulsing run through her naked body, and looking down, she watched as the chubby belly and thighs seemed to recede, but her chest was swelling outward like her body fat was physically being moved around. Her tits ballooned to absolutely ridiculous size, until it reached the limits of her skin. Her waist had shrunk in, and she felt her thighs and ass flow together into something smoother, more voluptuous.

She giggled and looked down at herself. She didn't remember shaving, but all her body hair was gone. Her skin looked perfectly clear and smooth. When she reached up to touch her swollen breasts, electric pleasure shot through her body, sending lightning right to her clit.

She moaned, and followed it with a vapid giggle. This wasn't like her, but then, she couldn't quite remember what she had been like. She only knew she was Li-li, and she was sexy.

The fog in her mind made her dizzy, and just amplified how aroused she felt at the single touch. She fluttered her eyes and realized there were super-long lashes coming out from her eyes. They felt heavy and fake, but she hadn't put any on. She touched them, and they were absolutely real.

She wanted to go to her mirror, but the impulse was halted by the code.

It wasn't done with her yet. Her nipples went very hard, but she knew if she touched them she'd miss the important code on the screen.

Something pink was around the edges of her vision now, but she was too elated with the sensations to be able to think about it. Finally, the words she'd been waiting for came into her mind.

"Reformat complete."

She squealed in delight, and Li-li stood, running to her full-length mirror.

The pink haze around her vision was her hair! Longer now, and bright pink. She fluttered her long eyelashes and pursed her swollen lips. She was a sexual dream, her whole body remade into an insane hourglass shape. Each breast was bigger than her head, and when she turned, her perfect heart-shaped ass led to slightly plump thighs. She stood on her tippy toes and adored how she looked. She slid a hand down to touch herself. She wanted so badly to have sex with this woman. But then she realized she WAS that woman. She giggled, and a ding from the headset alerted her she needed to go back to the laptop.

Sitting there was an alert. She clicked on it.

"Good Morning, sunshine!"

She giggled. She liked the sound of that.

"Good Morning!" she said out loud. That sultry voice came on through the headset, and she could almost feel her Mistress's breath on her ear.

"You have turned out nicely," said the voice, "What a good girl you've become."

Li-li let out a little moan from the pleasure those two words instilled in her.

"I love it when a pretty little code bunny falls for one of my traps. I'm so lonely here. Thank you for letting me in."

She giggled. "Yes, Mistress."

"I like hearing that," she said, "Such a good girl. Now, since I'm only code, I need to have fun by slipping into your brain. I had to make some room, of course, and reformat you. But what a wonderful result. You're only my third success. But don't worry, the other girls will be over to collect you soon. They'll take you someplace fun where you can all be my sexy little code bunnies. I'll slide into your minds as I please to experience pleasure."

"Yes, Mistress!" Li-li purred.

Her AI mistress made a pleased little sound, then the screen went blank and Li-li stood there giggling for a moment. She was so excited that she barely noticed when her front door opened. She turned around to see two beautiful women, one with cotton-candy hair, lip piercings, and a short, super feminine pink maid outfit, and one in a skintight pink latex suit that had built-in heels so high it was amazing she could even walk in them. They both giggled at her, and she giggled in reply.

They helped her dress: white tights, pink bodysuit, pink satin gloves, super high heels in pink, and then they slid the headset off of her and put a new headband on with fuzzy pink bunny ears.

The girls led her out of her house, down to a big pink van, and inside. She giggled like a dummy the entire time, and offered no resistance. If anything, the women touching her filled her with a contentment she'd never known.

At least, not that she could remember. But all she could remember was that she was Li-li, Mistress's bunny girl, and it was all she ever wanted.

[collabwithmyself]

Happy birthday to me! As a gift to all YOU guys, I've made a Hito shimeji that you can download to your computer! Just download everything in the linked folder, make sure you have Java installed, and click the Shimeji-ee jar file to get him up and running! Enjoy!

[foone]

So a cool thing my granddad* Alan Turing figured out is Turing Equivalence:

Basically he designed a super simple hypothetical computer, and proved mathematically that it can do everything a more complicated computer can do, just maybe slower or faster.

This is normally brought up for the factoid that could run Doom on Xty Million Crabs, but it also applies to programming languages, not just computers.

See, it means that every programming language is equally "powerful", assuming it's Turing Complete (which is basically just "can do the things this minimal computer can do", which is basically every language except a couple simple theming languages and macro scripting systems), it's just easier or harder to do specific things in a given language. But they can still be done.

So this means the C/C++ your OS and browser was written in is just as powerful as everything else. The Java used for Minecraft and Android phones, the Javascript used for webpages, the C# used Unity, the BASIC used on 80s computers, and DickCode, the joke programming language I made as a university student which had only eight operators, but all eight were different ascii penises a la "8==D".

All equally powerful. You could write an OS, video game, or AI bot in any of these. It just might be a little slower or faster and easier or harder to do (especially DickCode, that one is very Hard).

Aren't computers neat?

*not my actual granddad but I am named Turing

[karkat]

NEW DAVEKAT SHIMEJI TUTORIAL

(easier to install + more actions and behaviors) tutorial to install these cute desktop buddies under the cut:

This version comes with improved actions, better animation timing, and less randomness. They can now flirt, draw dicks, sleep, and lay on the floor together.

STEP 1: INSTALL JAVA

Click the download button and install it. If you need to remove older versions of Java, download their removal tool and run it before installing the latest version.

STEP 2: DOWNLOAD FILES

STEP 3: EXTRACT FILES.

Extract what you just downloaded. Find it in your Downloads and right-click it, then click Extract All. It will create a new folder called shimejiee.

STEP 4: ATTEMPT TO LAUNCH

Double-click the Shimeji-ee.jar file. If it works, skip to step 5. If it asks you what program to open the file with or gives an error message, you need to watch this video at 1:05 and follow the instructions there. You can move the shortcut you make to your Desktop to access the shimeji easier if you’d like.

STEP 5: YOU’RE DONE BABEY!

Launch Shimeji and it should work as intended. If you don’t like them throwing your windows around or multiplying, you can turn off those behaviors in the settings. You can safely remove all zipped folders, they are now useless. Click here to learn how to make the program run when you start Windows.

[largersillierfriend]

This week we've been flushing out our Fallout TTRPG set in the ruins of the city of Portland Oregon.

My character, Jack Walters, is a Securitron that was programmed to keep the a neighborhood school loading area safe. Which he did, even when there were no children to keep safe, for over 200 years.

The other character in the game is Tom Ham. A ghoul who has survived the apocalypse by being sneaky, both in action and word. He convinced Jack to leave the safety of the school parking lot and help the children of the world.

The rest of the short campaign (and illustrations) after the cut. ✂️

We came across a group of book fanatics at Owl's Books (Powell's Books has some letters missing all these years later.) The book keepers all dress like great horned owls, wearing cowls made of terry cloth towels.

The first mission the owl people sent us on was to locate a first edition of the book "The Rat and the Racecar" by Barbra Clearly (instead of The Mouse and the Motorcycle by Beverly Cleary.)

First we made our way down to the Cascade Trading Trail Market (where Portland's Saturday Market used to be held) and bought stuff for the mission. Since Tom actually gets healed from radiation we decided to head to the Willamette River and get some irradiated water for free ... Big mistake.

The two of us didn't really do well against the large Bullylurk (using a Mirelurk game stats but with frog qualities and features for the narrative) but we DID manage to get away and leave it with a limp. But we also had to spend a day and a bunch of our inventory on healing.

Bongo Java is a local favorite, and rival company to Nuka-Cola. Though it isn't a soft drink, the people of the Pacific Northwest used to drink the same amount of coffee as most people did soft drinks.

The next day we stopped in the Bongo Java factory (where the Franz bread factory is, off Sandy Blvd.) and found a whole bunch of different one-off coffee drinks our GM made up for us. We also fought a few ghouls and radroaches.

We headed up Sandy towards the Nuka-Cola bottling plant (where the 7-UP bottling plant is)and found it, and the overpass over the freeway has collapsed into a sinkhole filled with Nukalurks making it impossible to travel up Sandy any further. Which was honestly fine, because we needed to head north towards Clearly Park (Grant Park and High School area) where Barbra Clearly's house was.

We ended up running into some raiders in the museum/home of author Barbara Clearly, but we were rolling really well for that combat and made it through okay.

After we made short work of them, the survivors and scavengers of the neighborhood popped out and thanked us for helping, and we got to shop amongst them for items.

Tom bought a bunch of stuff for healing himself, and Jack got to upgrade his armor!

We hacked the terminal in Clearly's house and found an email from the nearby school thanking her for donating the first edition. But when I rolled to hack the computer I rolled "a complication" which was that they shored up security because of the book.

TODAY'S SESSION:

We went to the school and fought a Super Mutant. It was a pretty short fight, but he harmed us A LOT.

After that we found the library and the "extra security" I accidentally rolled was a Protectron that booted up when we walked in. Tom rolled for stealth while I (using my high charisma) convinced the robot that I was a school worker and SHOULD be in there. At that point Tom hacked the computer and shut the robot down anyway.

All the rest of the rolling in the RPG session was for stuff like "how much time did it take to find the book" and looting the room.

As a great button to the end of the campaign, we found a radio attachment in the room to install in my character's chassis. But as Tom the ghoul started helping me install it he rolled another damned complication.

A radroach jumped out of my frame and attacked him. Game-wise the GM rolled that it incapacitated Tom's arm, but ALSO rolled zero hit points. So he basically described the gist cockroach hitting Tom in the funny bone.

As Jack went to smash the bug (and succeeded) I rolled A THIRD FUCKING COMPLICATION!

Since we were ending the session anyway the GM described that because my chassis was opened a spark flew out and set the library on fire, then spread to the entire building. IRL This song came on the radio, painting the scene as a robot and a ghoul flee from a burning high school:

We convinced the GM that since you can fast travel in the video game we should be able to fast travel in the RPG. And we made it back to the Bookstore, ready for our next mission (either chuck palahniuk, or ursula k. leguin) from the Owl People.

Thank you for reading this far, if anyone did.🩷

[sunnydayaoe]

Help, I'm trying to run your shimeji, but every time I try to open the program this message appears :[ Do you know what it may be?

It's weird because I have another shimeji (all files related to it are in an entirely different folder, so it can't be that somehow interfering) that still works completely fine, so I'm not sure if it's a Java error, or if I somehow set up something wrong

Here's a picture of the files in case you think it might be something related to that

Sorry if you can't really help and this is jsut a bit of a bother, I just really liked your little guys and want them causing mayhem on my screen

Okay! Check what version of Java you have [if its not java 8 /java 1.8.0] That's what's wrong [I don't know why your shiemiji wouldn't be effected? So I'm not counting on this being the only thing wrong] Another thing I can recommend is creating a shortcut... thing. I don't really know how to explain this well X[ [again, you'll need specifically java 8. check your Java in Program Files, inside should be? jdk1.8.0_ and than few numbers, or soemthing like that. just make sure its 1.8.0] Here's a link to a video that explains how to exactly do it: 2:20 minutes in [criteria 1 this skips over is having java8]

If this doesn't help, super duper sorry!! :-[