#rush (2013) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hereticpriest · 11 months ago

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Life and Death

Relationship: Niki Lauda x Reader, Niki Lauda x Reader x James Hunt

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Pregnancy, Nurburgring Crash, Injury Recovery, Idiots in Love, Postpartum Depression, Motherhood, The Pressure of Motherhood, Motherhood Magazines Should Be Burnt, Misogyny, Near Death Experiences, James Hunt is the Perfect Birth Partner, Comfort Sex, Supportive James Hunt, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Mild petplay, Puppy James Hunt, Dry Humping, Light Dom/sub, Dominant Reader, Threesome - F/M/M, Open Relationships/Complicated Relationship Dynamics, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Self-Doubt, Body image issues, Creampies

They keep looking at you.

Niki's team, the ones with the radios, keep looking at you as if they expect you to fall apart as you step back into the main part of the garage while rubbing your massive belly. Which means something is wrong. Something is terribly wrong, and you are a liability - or, your condition is - which means something is wrong with Niki. You'd just been in the bathroom for the 600th time you needed to pee today - the joys of pregnancy, especially carrying an active Lauda baby that liked to stomp on your bladder. You can hear the dramatic rambling of the radio announcer as you step further out, your lips pursing as he mentions a crash. Fear grips your heart, and you swear it stops dead in your chest. You feel cold.

"What is it?"

"We don't know if he was in it." One of the mechanics replies, attempting to sound soothing. Your heart drops. You cup your massive belly from below, stroking your hands over the broad expanse of it reassuringly, as if telling your baby that everything will be okay. As if they can hear everything, and might be scared for their father as well.

"But you think he was.” You whisper, wide-eyed and unsure. Almost as if you are the harbinger of your own end, your own fucking banshee telling you of your coming death, you suddenly hear the announcer. The information comes in pieces.

Niki was in a crash. His car is on fire. Two more cars have hit him, and they can't get through the flames to retrieve him. He is on fire, and they cannot get him out of the car. Niki is dying, and no one can save him.

One of the managers moves quickly to grab you as you feel your world spin, and you cling to his arms to try and stay upright. Luca, you think. He murmurs something to you in Italian, or perhaps it's English but your mind is too far gone to hear him.

"They have to get him."

Tears fill your eyes, and you blink them away, angry with your own weakness. Your husband is dying and here you are, crying like you're the one in pain.

"They will. Mrs. Lauda, come on, you need to sit down."

"I don't need to sit down, I need my husband!"

You don't lose consciousness, but a part of you wishes you had. They take Niki to the hospital and you lie about your condition to avoid being placed in a room instead of with him. Even if ‘with him’ means the waiting room down the hallway from his room. You spend hours - countless hours - in a daze as you stare down Niki's hallway while they endeavour to save him. Clay arrives with a bag of your things, and a cushion for you to make the uncomfortable hospital chairs less unbearable. Tony arrives with food shortly after, and you let him bully you into checking your blood pressure, which is unsurprisingly high. You tell the nurse in no uncertain terms that if you're being treated for the obvious results of a traumatic incident and are thus unable to see your husband the second he's stable, you will use your God-given, pregnancy-ordained leeway to have a colossal hissy fit and ruin their week.

No one protests. Well, one of the doctors protests, however the nurses bully him into leaving you alone. They're well aware that putting you in a room will only worsen your condition. As a compromise, you let them check your blood pressure every hour, you eat at scheduled intervals, and you drink a near constant stream of glasses of water. Which means you pee more than you sit solemnly to wait. Hours more pass before the priest arrives at the hospital's behest, and you scowl at him despite the seemingly sincere condolences he offers you.

"He's not dead." You remind the pastor, and he gives a gentle apology that makes your blood boil, "He'll kick you out if you start giving him rites. He needs encouragement, not to be given up on."

Despite your warning, the priest comes bumbling out of the room a few minutes later, and you hear your husband's voice, raspy and weak from the fire and smoke. It gives you a moment of relief - a brief respite that you're not crazy to think that Niki is going to survive this. That you won't be widowed so quickly after your wedding. That you won't have to learn to live without him. It seems impossible now that you've had him - like you were living a half life until you found the missing piece of you. Willi Dungl, Niki's masseuse and friend, arrives as the next in the rotating wheel of Niki's friends and 'coworkers' that seem to have been volun-told to take care of you while he recovers. He brings food and a small blanket, corrects your posture, and when you tell him that you're too pregnant for good posture, he spends a good five minutes holding your belly up to give your back a break. It's an impressive feat - you're almost eight months along, and it shows.

They let you see Niki what feels like hours later, long after Willi has left, and visitors have been limited for the night. Long after letting you know that by some miracle, Niki has stabilised. You'd nearly broken down the door to his room right there and then. Your blood pressure finally goes down enough for the nurses to give you a bit of breathing room, though you heard them tittering about the likelihood you would need an emergency c-section when you passed them by for one of your thousand pee breaks. The only reason you didn’t step in and give them shit is because you could hear the concern in their voices. They weren’t gossiping - they were planning ahead and making sure everyone was informed as to your condition.

It doesn’t stop you from wanting to crack their heads together.

As you walk into Niki’s room, you steel yourself, knowing what awaits you beyond the door, even if you don’t know the extent of it. Niki lays on his bed, his skin raw and red and weeping under once-white bandages. You sit beside him in the chair set beside his bed, lean your side against the bed, and settle in for the long run.

“I love you, Niki Lauda. So does our baby.”

He’s in a coma, but you hope somewhere, deep down, he might be able to hear you.

No one ever talks about how difficult recovery is. How painstaking. How long it takes to feel a little bit more like yourself. Rarely does anyone discuss what bearing witness to someone's recovery feels like. How soul-crushing it can be to watch the person you love most suffer and endure. There isn't a guide for preparing to grieve your new husband, or how best to support his recovery while nearly eight months pregnant. No one warned you about how difficult it would be to not be able to help - to be physically incapable of helping - after a life of complete independence.

You spend your days at Niki's bedside - your OBGYN appointments are moved to the hospital where he is being cared for, and you like your new doctor well enough. She is very no nonsense, but she doesn't harp on you for neglecting yourself in the wake of your husband's condition. Instead, she finds solutions. She gives a list of dietary requirements to Tony, who takes care of your meals despite your insistence that you can manage on the hospital's food. He tells you later that many of the driver wives have been helping by making meals for him to bring. Gem that he is who knows you far too well after so long, he even brings a stack of thank you cards with their names and addresses so that you can write cards for everyone. You've always been fond of cards and letters, and it gives you something to do.

Your doctor requires tests of your blood pressure - twice daily rather than hourly like the nurses had originally been doing - and gives you a list of stretches that you have to do at least three times a day. The only thing you disagree with - the only thing you're truly upset about - is that she makes you stay out of Niki's room whenever he's being treated. When they first started changing his bandages after he awoke, they would let you sit at his bedside to offer whatever support you could. They didn't let you stay in the room for any major treatments, of course, but the little things. Your doctor felt that being in the room was far too upsetting, and the benefit to Niki was negligible in comparison to the harm it would do to you.

You don't tell her that sitting in the hallway and listening to him scream is no better. The unknown is just as terrible as the image of the raw wounds in your mind's eye whenever you lay your head on your pillow to sleep for the night. Living in a hotel for six weeks as a pregnant woman isn't ideal, but you refuse to leave your husband's side for longer than a night.

You married an idiot.

Six weeks after his crash at Nurburgring, Niki Lauda returns to Formula One racing at the Italian Grand Prix, against all odds and against all medical advice. You follow him to Italy, also against medical advice, because you're also an idiot. Thankfully, Niki's idiocy precludes him from being able to fight you on your own idiocy. Worst case scenario, you remind him, you'll give birth in Italy. There are worse things. In the end, he concedes so long as he has a flight on standby to take you home the moment the race is done.

There's a conference in Monza first, and Niki tries his damndest to get you not to attend, but you tell him to fuck off while rubbing cocoa butter into your expansive belly. You offer him a gentle smile afterwards to soothe the damage your snippy tone may have done, reaching out to touch one of the uninjured places on his arm. He takes a breath, adjusting the hat he's insisting on wearing as armour, and you pout at him.

"I love you, honey." You murmur, then again, "Ich liebe dich."

"Ich liebe dich auch."

Standing in the back with James Hunt, who you've only just begun to forgive for baiting Niki into racing in Germany, makes you begin to regret your decision. You can see Niki's nerves even if no one else can, and the reporters are like sharks.

“And what did your wife say when she saw your face?” The journalist asks, and you take a single step before James grabs your arm to stop you in your tracks.

“She said, 'Sweetie, you don't need a face to drive. You just need a right foot.'” Niki replies, earning laughter from the other reporters, but a scowl from the bastard one. You’d actually told him that he would be beautiful to you no matter what happened, that you still wanted him even injured (which earned you a croaky, dirty laugh) and that so long as he loved you, you would never stop loving him either. That was, however, far too personal for Niki to confess to this fuckwit.

"I'm being serious. Do you really think your marriage can survive with the way you look now? Do you think your baby will be scared of you?" The asshole asks with a callous sneer. You break James' grip, weightily shoving a chair out of your way as you begin to walk towards the reporter, but James grabs you just above the belly.

"Wait, wait, darling, you can't-"

“I’m being serious too.” You distantly hear Niki say, but you’re so distracted by trying to get James’ hands off of you that you barely pay attention.

"Like hell I can't!" You shout, and the scuffle draws attention while Niki stares at you in mixed horror and adoration, "Hey, why are you asking Niki questions that should be meant for me, huh? Come ask me to my face how I feel about my husband, you shitstain fucking coward!"

Niki cuts the conference as you're mid-rant, getting up and making his way towards the door where James is doing his best to drag you without compressing your tummy. You're not making it easy on him, but the moment you notice Niki going in the same direction, you stop fighting the Brit.

"You make him pay, James, you understand me? Then we'll be even." You mutter under your breath, and James nods darkly in your periphery, his normally smiling mouth twisted into a frown. The moment Niki is within reach, you stop him before leaving the room and kiss him as softly as you can.

"Darling, they're taking photos." James whispers, and while Niki stiffens, you are not put off in the slightest. So long as you're not hurting Niki - or at least, hurting him more than he's happy to endure to kiss you - you have nothing to be ashamed of.

"Let them." You murmur, breaking the kiss and giving Niki an adoring little smile while James breaks away from you both, "I love you, Niki Lauda."

"I love you, Mouse."

When the news reaches your ears that the reporter in question disappeared shortly after the conference and was last seen with a bloody mouth and possible missing teeth, you let go of the remaining anger in your heart towards James. Well, almost all of it. Enough to begin healing.

You've never been very good at letting go.

Watching Niki get into the car is almost as painful as the first time you watched him try and put on his helmet after the accident, but you let him go with every ounce of strength in your body. Tony tries to make you sit, but you refuse, so he instead stands beside you with his hand on your upper back just in case. Niki's start is shaky at best, which doesn't surprise you at all - you know he's scared despite how he tried to hide it. Luca pauses in his own celebration to squeeze your arm reassuringly as Niki gets back into his stride, and you nod to him, listening to the announcer narrate the race with bated breath.

Despite his rocky start, Niki Lauda places fourth in a stunning recovery that seems to completely overshadow the victors. He deserves this, you remind yourself. He deserves to be praised for his strength and resilience, even if it hurts you to watch him race again. You smile as he's celebrated by the mechanics and his peers, nearby reporters going nuts in their attempts to take a good photograph. Tony is the only one who sees you wiping tears from your eyes, your hand cupping your belly protectively.

The flight from Italy is long, and admittedly brutal even though you leave immediately after the race. Part of that is because you're fairly sure you're approaching labour, though you say nothing to anyone until the plane has landed and you're heading towards your car.

"Niki, my love?"

"Yes?" He asks skeptically at your odd tone, and you pause as you feel dripping down your leg. He stops with you, putting a hand on your belly, "Are you okay?"

"My water broke, honey."

Niki takes a breath, stunned, then presses his hand to the centre of your back and ushers you towards his car, "I'll drive."

Yeah, you bloody well hope so. If your racecar driver husband wasn't driving you to the hospital, you'd throw a fit. Like hell you’re waiting for an ambulance.

Wilhelm Lauda is born in the wee hours of the morning after 12 hours of labour. Tony and his wife Liliana, the latter of whom was meant to be your support during the birth, arrive an hour late. In their stead, the most shocking person is able to make it in time to hold your hand - James Hunt, on a two and a half hour direct flight from London, is able to make it early into your labour to replace the struggling Niki. Watching you go through such immense pain was not something he ever wanted to do, and he admitted to a certain empathy now after watching you in early labour.

Your birth plan had never included your husband holding your hand through the birth - he was traditional and wanted to wait in the hall to avoid getting in anyone's way - but that had only gotten more important since his accident. He was in too much pain to have his hand squeezed off by you, and getting even the smallest bump would likely cause him quite a bit of pain. Even after James arrived, he stayed with you through the early labour to comfort you while you made your best attempt at breaking James' hand, until, of course, it was determined that you were in active labour. Niki left before the epidural, and you focused on James' blanched face through it to distract yourself from the pain.

James was a good birth partner, you had to admit. He held your hand even when you were screaming, wiped your face with a cool wet rag when you got sweaty, and played along swimmingly when you began cursing out your husband loud enough that there was no chance he couldn't hear you outside. One of the nurses gave him a funny look when he kissed your temple, as she had already asked about him once or twice, wondering if perhaps he was a family member. She was smart enough not to push, however, considering the long list of threats you'd already made at Niki for putting you through this.

At the end of it all, Wilhelm came into the world screaming with you, wailing as he was cleaned off and the cord was cut, but quieted the moment he was placed on your heaving chest. James left you to get Niki, and you blinked blearily as your husband pressed a kiss to your sweaty forehead, then cupped your cheeks and kissed your eyelids, before finally pressing his lips to yours.

"It's a boy." The nurse informs you both, and you sigh happily as you run delicate fingers over the top of his head. The babe nestles into your chest, and you let him rest there for a moment before carefully picking him up and laying him on his back in your arms so Niki can see him properly.

"What are we calling him?" You ask your husband as he pulls a chair close to the bed so he can see.

"Wilhelm. Wilhelm James." Niki replies, and James chokes on a sob, his hand pressed to his mouth in your periphery.

"A good name. Wilhelm James Lauda." You agree. The nurse steps in once you've both had a moment, taking your son to check him out while Niki sits on one side of your bed and James takes the other. James lets you sip on some water, then refreshes the cloth he'd been wiping your face with and wipes your face and neck down properly. Niki, meanwhile, holds your hand gently and tells you how proud he is of you in whispered German.

Soon enough, Wilhelm is brought back to you, and his mewling encourages the nurse to help you pull your gown down in the front to try breastfeeding for the first time. He latches quickly, and Niki smiles as he watches his son with all the love in the world. Only an idiot could ever look at him and think him cold. The nurse gives James a weird look when she realises that he’s watching you breastfeed, your other breast hanging out of your gown, and your husband gently stroking your shoulder and arm delicately. You’re sure she only doesn’t say anything because neither yourself nor Niki seem bothered.

"Hungry boy." James comments, "he'll be a little hamster like his father, constantly snacking, with chubby little cheeks."

Tony and Liliana arrive shortly after, and James departs to let them come in, kissing you on the forehead goodbye. He promises to visit soon to help out with the little one, sidehugs Niki gently, then heads off. You have no doubt he'll spend a night with one of the nurses before heading home. Niki helps you cover up before Tony and Liliana come in, and you can't help but smile as Liliana gives Niki's hand a gentle squeeze. It's her first time seeing him since the accident, but she doesn't stare, too kindhearted and far too preoccupied with the baby.

You're discharged in the morning after both yourself and Wilhelm pass all of your health checks, and Tony and Liliana meet you at your home in Salzburg with food and a helpful attitude. Tony brings in their baby shower gift, a rocking chair which he puts in Wilhelm's room. Then, he makes his way to your bedroom, changing the bedsheets for you since you haven't been home in a few days. He throws a load of laundry on, then sets about finding things to clean or move for you guys while Liliana forces a meal on you and Niki, then tidies the kitchen.

Not once do Tony and Liliana ask you what needs to be done - they assess the house together, then set about doing things themselves, only asking for permission if they have to touch anything personal. It takes a huge weight off of your shoulders not to have to think about anything to do with housework. Willie arrives to help Niki, which takes one more worry off of your plate, and you get to simply focus on your son. You're thrilled to find that - at least for now, as you're aware colours change - your son has inherited his father's beautiful blue eyes. He sleeps easily when you hold him against your chest, and he eats without much fuss, but finding the right way to get him to burp takes a bit of work. He fusses whenever you try to change his diaper, but you learn quickly that it's simply because he's taken after his father in another way - the babe hates to be cold for even a moment.

Tony and Liliana leave after a week, and are swiftly replaced by your parents, who take control of Wilhelm immediately and give you a chance to spend some time with Niki. Willie teaches you the exercises he's putting Niki through, and recommends a couple for you to use to rebuild strength after giving birth, though he warns you to take it very easy until you've healed. Willie cried when told the baby's name, and Niki seems very proud of getting that reaction out of the older man, boasting about it gently to you while you rub medicated cream into his skin for him. Thankfully, Niki's grafts have been healing well despite his insistence on racing so shortly after his accident. The donor site on his thigh has healed pretty well, but is still very sensitive, so you're careful even when you apply the moisturizing skin cream he was instructed to use.

Niki's brother Florian visits before your parents leave, and you all have dinner together, only interrupted once by a fussy Wilhelm who needs to be fed. Niki follows you up the stairs, slipping his arms around you while you feed your son, resting his head on your shoulder as much as he can while he rocks with you. Afterwards, he takes Wilhelm from you and burps him while you clean up and set out a change for him for after dinner. You manage to make it through dinner without the baby fussing again, but you're quick to take him upstairs to change him the moment he starts up again. Your mom is kind enough to tidy up for you, while Niki entertains your father and his brother.

Finally, after two and a half weeks of constant company, you're left alone. It's more difficult, certainly, having to maintain the house while caring for your newborn, but at first, the peace of isolation is a relief. Niki does his best to help out where he can, though it often seems that his best way of helping is laying shirtless on the couch with Wilhelm on his chest, keeping your infant occupied with a nap in the sun. Willie visits frequently enough that you teasingly tell him he should move in, and you often find him holding your son while Niki does his stretches, the look on his face soft enough to melt your heart.

Just under a week and half later, Niki flies to Japan with Willie and his team. As would be expected, you're unable to join him with a newborn to care for, and it breaks your heart. You spend the day before he leaves clingier than you've ever been with Niki, as if you need to soak up every moment with him in case it might be your last. Niki does his best to reassure you that everything will be fine without promising anything that he can't, but after his accident, his reassurances fall flat. He does his best, though, rubbing your back as you curl up in his arms for an afternoon nap, pressing kisses to your hair. He leaves on Friday morning with a tearful kiss from you and a snuggle from Wilhelm, promising you that he'll do his best to be safe. He gives you no false platitudes, even now, when you might've been soothed by a lie.

You watch the coverage of the race on television while snuggling with your son, Liliana bustling around your kitchen to ensure you eat something today. Her presence is a balm, but you can feel her gaze on you, and you know she's worried. She, too, does not lie to you. Instead, she gives you half of one of her Valium and a glass of water, then sits at your side to hold your son and rub your back. The rain in Japan has you panicking despite your best efforts, and the Valium helps to soothe your raw and aching nerves. You'll have to get a script from your doctor for the next time Niki gets in one of those death machines - because he will, no matter how much it makes you worry. You'd never ask him to stop. It would be like asking him to give up a part of himself, and you will never be a wife who does that, no matter how much you worry about him. You can swallow your own worries, chased with a little pill or a glass of wine (or six).

In the end, Niki defies all expectations as he is wont to do. He quits on lap 2 of the Japanese Grand Prix, to the great fury of Ferrari. James takes the championship by a single point, and Niki phones you to let you know he's going to attend James' championship celebration, as if he didn't just lose. You're, unfortunately, relatively sedated by this point, and Liliana has to take the phone from you to let Niki know that you're just exhausted. Whether you tell him about the Valium is your choice, not hers, so she doesn't mention it. She promises to take care of the baby, and to let you know that he'll be home soon.

Niki flies himself home, because of course he does. As he steps into your home in Salzburg, he finds you curled up in a chair in the baby's room, both of you fast asleep, while Liliana cleans up the remnants of lunch. He wakes you with a kiss to your temple, and you smile sleepily at him, leaning up to catch his lips with yours. There's nothing but love in your eyes as you look at him, even in the vulnerability of waking up, and Niki isn't quite sure how he got so lucky. He’d worried you would look at him differently, but there isn’t even a hint. You love him. You truly, deeply love him.

"I'm glad you're home." You whisper against his lips, and he smiles.

"I'm glad to be home, Mouse."

Willie rubs oil between his hands, warming it up before he begins to rub Niki’s back in slow but firm movements. You watch through the open door, gently rocking your son in your arms as Willie soothes your husband’s pain as much as he can. Thank god for the stern Austrian man, for he withstood Niki’s grumpier moments with ease, gave as good as he got, and found interesting ways to get Niki to do as he was told. You helped where you could - you cooked off of Willie’s strict diet plan and only rarely went off of it to make Niki his favourite schnitzel, you helped him with his stretches and exercises every day, and freely tattled on your husband when he didn’t do all of them. You cared for your son, and only rarely asked Niki for his help, though he was always eager to do the fun things with your baby boy - napping and snuggling being his usual baby duties. You kept the house clean since Niki couldn’t do too much with his healing bones and burnt lungs, on top of his still-healing skin grafts.

“Mouse.” Niki murmurs, and you blink, startled out of your thoughts. You’re still in the doorway, but you’ve stopped rocking, and the baby is stirring in your arms.

“Yes, love?” You ask, resuming your rocking, and he pats the table gently to call you over. You crouch beside the massage table, and Niki presses a kiss to Wilhelm’s fuzzy little head, breathing in the scent of your baby. He takes your hand, and you kiss his knuckles, then lean in to press the softest kiss to his lips while holding Wilhelm’s head to avoid him wiggling and smacking it. You whisper that you love him, then kiss below his grafts to avoid irritating anything, and he sighs as he processes the dual sensation of Willie’s firm hands on his back, and his wife’s gentle touch. Niki smiles at you, and your heart melts, the burdens weighing down your shoulders temporarily lifted by his love.

“I’ll leave you two alone. I’ve got to get ready to feed the baby before he gets fussy.” You hum as Wilhelm begins to stir again, and Willie scoffs.

“Strong boy doesn’t get fussy. His papa gets fussy. Wilhelm is simply hungry for he is growing.”

You laugh, smudging your thumb across the tip of Niki’s nose teasingly, offering Willie a friendly wink, then carrying your son down to the living room to get settled on the sofa while you feed him. You rub your belly, still pretty round even almost a month after giving birth, and flip through a motherhood magazine to make yourself feel bad about not having magically lost the baby weight yet. Guilt has been a place you’ve lived for the last couple of months while doing the best you could and finding it not quite enough. Advice from other women who’ve raised a baby before you has done nothing but make you feel worse, and yet you keep seeking it out. Maybe this magazine will have the miracle cure that will make it all make sense. Maybe this magazine will give you the piece of advice you’re missing that will make you feel less like you can’t measure up to the women who came before you. You were fine when Liliana was here - with her help, you were almost able to manage the baby, keep the house clean, care for Niki, and maintain your appearance to the degree you had before your pregnancy. Now, you were struggling to balance multiple plates, and wishing you were an octopus.

Wilhelm smacks his chubby hand against the side of your breast with a nipple-smothered cry, and you roll your eyes, giving him your finger to hold like he likes to when he’s breastfeeding.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Bad mommy. Sorry, little man.”

Later that evening, after putting the baby to bed and cleaning up what you couldn’t during the day, you snuggle up with your husband, curling around him from behind while he sighs blissfully under the gentle stroking of your hand on his stomach. Just as you’re beginning to drift in that hazy, comfortable place between sleep and wake, Niki shifts against you with a shiver. Instinctively, you press a couple of kisses to his shoulder, sliding your hand from under his shirt into his boxers to find him hard and leaking. You still can’t have sex, according to your doctor, so you carefully roll Niki onto his back and crawl down between his legs.

“You don’t have to, mausi.” Niki whispers, but his cock throbs as you tap it against your tongue.

“Let me make you feel good, Niki.” You murmur back to him, then pop the head past your lips while he groans deeply in response. His fingers tangle in your hair, and you take your time warming him up, looking up at him through your lashes because you know he needs to see it. You know that he needs to know how much you want him, burns or not, and this is the best way for you to show him while you’re still recovering from childbirth. You take your time making him come, and you swallow it down without a second thought, then snuggle up against him again with a lazy yawn. You’re exhausted. You’ve never before been so bone-deep tired.

“Goodnight, love.” You whisper, already drifting.

“Goodnight, mausi.”

James arrives three weeks later to a spotless house, a home cooked meal, a freshly changed and swaddled baby curled up to nap on Niki’s chest, and the fresh, wafting scent of body wash from upstairs. Niki greets him with a hug, though James is quick to take the baby from him, cradling him delicately in his arms. Niki smiles at the sight of James with his son, watching the way the tall blond man strokes his fingertips delicately across the baby's chubby cheeks and thumbs his little chin as if he's made of glass. It's easy to see that he's already smitten. Niki slips an arm around James' waist, and his friend leans into him a little bit, but doesn't put any real weight on him.

"Is she upstairs?" James asks while gazing at the baby, and Niki nods, his lips pulling into a frown before smoothing out, "What is it?"

"She ran around the house like mad all day, cleaning and cooking. She ran upstairs for a shower before you arrived, claiming she has to look nice if we're having company." Niki replies, and James scoffs.

"I barely count as company - I'm more of a lapdog, really. She didn't have to do all of this."

"This is what I told her. She has been..." Niki trails off, then sighs, stroking his fingertip over Wilhelm's little nose, then steering James towards the dining room to eat, "You will see."

James hands Niki a couple of papers that were rolled up in his back pocket, watching as the other man unfolds them and looks them over. Clear STD tests. He folds them and tucks them into James’ back pocket again, a bit of a grin on his face. Niki had discussed having sex again with James when they spoke on the phone, and seeing that all three of you were interested, James got a test. It was the responsible thing to do, and it would allow for a better experience since you were back on birth control.

“Then, I suppose it is a good thing that I did not buy condoms.” Niki murmurs, and James snorts, nudging him gently while he puts Wilhelm into his highchair.

“I would not have appreciated the late night run to the store.”

You join them a few minutes later, and James instantly knows why Niki is so worried. You look stunning, as always, but you have dark circles under your eyes, and your smile is strained. You're wearing a dress that suits your frame, and your hair is done up nicely to accentuate your face. He's never seen you put this much effort into your appearance - he's used to you wearing Niki's shirts and jeans, or simple but pretty dresses. You look lovely, certainly, but there's a certain lack of surety in your eyes that he's never seen before.

"Hello darling." James murmurs, handing the baby to Niki so that he can stand and wrap his arms around you, "You didn't need to do all this, love, it's only me."

"It was no trouble, James." You insist, and he presses a kiss to your cheek, then pulls you up in a big squeeze.

"I'm here to help, darling, put me to work all you like. Come sit and have dinner, take a load off." He insists, pulling out your chair, and you melt a little under the gentle affection. Niki notices, but he's not jealous of James. He knows where your love and lust lies, and the care you've given him since his accident has eased much of his initial worries. Instead, he realises how little time he's had with you since Liliana left. He spends plenty of time with Wilhelm, cuddling while you bustle around and do the things you can't do with a baby in your arms. But his wife? He only spends his nights with you, frequently interrupted by the baby for feedings.

When is the last time he kissed his wife beyond a peck on the cheek?

"I don't know if I'll be able to get through a whole meal. Wilhelm is probably going to get hungry soon. But I'll eat what I can, and come back after he's done." You say before taking a bite of food, and James raises an eyebrow.

"I'll feed him while you eat, it's no trouble. I'll get some cuddle time." James replies, and you hesitate.

"Oh, I haven't been pumping."

"... God, that must be exhausting, darling. Why not? My sister-in-law swears by it, says it makes it so much easier to do things while my brother feeds the tykes."

You hesitate, drumming your fingers anxiously against the table, then shrug, "I... well, a lot of the mommy magazines I've been reading say it isn't good for babies not to be fed naturally."

James and Niki scoff in unison, but soften when they notice your clear distress.

"They say that to make you feel bad, lovey, not to help you. Plenty of mums formula feed their tykes and they end up fine. I reckon the writers of those magazines use them themselves while telling other mums not to." James insists, and you soften a little as he strokes his hand over yours, then squeezes your fingers.

"I would like the chance to feed Wilhelm." Niki comments, and you soften even further, even cracking a smile as your husband rubs his foot against your calf under the table soothingly, "We have a pump - Regazonni's wife sent it as a gift."

"I... well, I could try. I do produce a lot of milk... it would be nice not to have to constantly drop everything every two to three hours." You admit, and Niki nods.

"I will get it out of the baby closet and we will try it." He states firmly, and you nod your agreement, digging into your meal with a bit more gusto now that you feel a little bit better about your circumstances. Your husband compliments the meal first, thankful as always that you’ve made him something delicious, but even more so because he knows that this schnitzel breaches Willie’s diet. James gives you a gentle nudge as he swallows a mouthful, letting you know exactly how delicious this meal is and how nice it is to have someone cook for him. You’re sure it’s a little pathetic how quickly your heart races to get a little bit of appreciation, but you can’t help yourself. Niki always appreciates everything you do for him, but even he will admit he sometimes forgets to say - he’d warned you when you married him, so it did not come as a surprise.

You knew how he felt for you. You knew that he loved and appreciated you.

You knew. And yet…

“Get your pre-pregnancy body back? You gave birth to a human being. How could this be possible? What is this scheiße?” Niki asks, and James scoffs, rolls his eyes and rips the page out of the magazine.

“Listen to this garbage - How to keep your husband happy. The first suggestion is to wear a fancy dress, put makeup on, do your hair up, and greet your husband at the door when he gets home from work. Suggestion two, give your husband a massage or rub his feet after a long day at work. Bloody hell. Suggestion three is to tell your husband to go golfing or for a drink with his buddies and not to complain about him not spending time at home. And then it scolds women for daring to miss their husbands while they’re at work all day, tells them off for being selfish for wanting their husbands to do chores or help with the kids after a long day of work, and reminds women that men provide their lives for them. Is this from the forties? You can’t tell me this was published this year.” James rants as he tears several papers from the magazine, and Niki sneers, watching as Wilhelm slobbers on a chewy ring, enjoying some tummy time.

“I’ve got yet another article on how to lose the baby weight by starving yourself and working out somehow with the no time you have while raising a baby and keeping a house.” Niki rips a page out, followed by a second, “Ah, and another diet plan. Willie would have a heart attack if I showed him this.”

“Why are you ripping pages out of my magazines?” You ask as you step into the living room, and James pats the sofa between himself and Niki.

“We’re taking the nonsense out.” He informs you, and Niki greets you with a soft kiss as you sit beside him, earning himself a happy noise that has him grinning.

“And James is taking the knitting patterns.”

“They’re half-decent.” The Brit excuses himself, pecking your cheek.

“I can’t believe you’ve been reading this, Mouse. Every article was written by someone who hates women, you understand this, yes?” Niki asks, and you hesitate until his arm slips around your waist.

“That blond woman down the road, Bauer… She gave me one. She’s got three kids, so I thought…” You trail off, then sigh, leaning your head gently on Niki’s shoulder.

“You should take your child-rearing advice from your friends and family, Mouse. Liliana is a phone call away.” He reminds you, and you sigh, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“I know. I just want to be a good wife and mother-”

“You are. You are my perfect wife, Mouse, and you have been a good, attentive mother to our son. Nothing in these magazines will improve you.” Niki cuts you off, and James pats your knee, then lays down on the floor with Wilhelm, letting the baby hold his finger in his tiny hand. You let Niki guide your head down onto his shoulder, closing your eyes and settling in, and as you melt into him like chocolate on a hot day, Niki realises exactly how starved for affection you’ve become. He sighs quietly, picking up the breast pumps from the dish towel beside him and handing them to you.

“This does not look comfortable.” You inform him, but you obediently unzip your dress from the side, letting it fall around your waist but no lower. James glances at you over his shoulder, wiggling his fingers for Wilhelm, and you let him look all he likes as you remove your bra and drop it beside you. You get situated against Niki, then get the pumps set up and begin the process.

“How is it?” James inquires a few minutes later, and you give him a small frown.

“There isn’t a tiny jaw mashing my nipple, but it's only marginally more comfortable.” You reply, nostrils flaring as you squeeze the pump. Uncomfortable didn't even begin to cover it.

“You’ll get used to it, love. Niki’ll make them feel better afterwards, won’t you, mate?” James coos from the floor, and you kick his foot gently, huffing a quiet laugh. For once, you have nearly an hour of full, uninterrupted time in which your baby has someone else physically capable of caring for him. He’s been fed recently enough that he should be fine for a bit, and he’s happy, and when he does begin to fuss, James offers to change him rather than make you stop pumping and get up. Having help is blissful.

“Have your feelings changed regarding James?” Niki asks quietly, and you shake your head, happy that he keeps checking in even though he asked you this same question before James arrived to visit, “Good.”

“Have yours?” You inquire, fairly sure you know the answer.

“No, Mouse, they haven’t.”

“Good.”

You feed Wilhelm some time later, change him for bed, then rock him to sleep in your arms. It takes time - your little one takes after you in having trouble falling asleep - but eventually you’re able to transfer him into his crib and head back downstairs. Niki and James are still in the living room, however they’ve moved since you left. Niki is mostly in the same spot, sprawled across the sofa to get comfortable. But, where once James sat on the floor, stretched out like a lazy lion, he now lays across your sofa. He’s lost his shirt in the transition, but otherwise, both men are still clothed. They’re kissing, which is a lovely sight, and James’ hand has slipped up under Niki’s shirt to stroke his trembling stomach. You can see the way Niki arches beneath James, his hips rolling up into the Brit’s in a needy way that tells you you haven’t been taking care of him as well as you thought you had.

You’re not jealous - truly, you’re not. It isn’t jealousy that festers in your guts. No, the rot that has taken a hold within you has been growing as your body changed. As who you are changed. As you brought your blessed son - the thing you love most - into the world, a disease had taken root. You once thought that you couldn’t love anything as much as you loved Niki, until Wilhelm was born with your heart beating in his chest along with his own. And that was part of the problem, wasn’t it? You were failing as a wife or as a mother no matter what choices you made, weren't you? Or had you simply placed the bar out of your reach in order to punish yourself for not being able to grasp it?

Everything had changed in a matter of months. You had gone from a newlywed preparing for your first child with your husband to a wife, mother, and caregiver who was struggling just to tread water. This new you - this exhausted, sad, disorganised you laden with baby weight and dark circles - was inferior to the old you, wasn’t it? Change for the better was an ideal, and something to strive for, but you had not improved, had you? You now exist as a lesser thing than the woman that Niki loved, and that he and James had so craved.

Your downward spiral is interrupted by a breathy gasp, and a low moan that you recognise as if it were your own. Your focus returns to your present, and your eyes meet the stormy baby blues of your husband. His mouth is lax with pleasure, but in your surprise, you find honesty awaiting you etched into the lines of his face. His love is plain to see, written in the softness of his gaze, the jumping pulse visible in his neck, and most obviously in the way he reaches for you.

Niki reaches for you. While blanketed by the sun incarnate, by his rival and close friend, by a man desired by countless people across the world, Niki Lauda reaches for you. The sun moves atop him, golden skin flexing over built muscles, and the blue of the sky on a warm summer day finds you. Warmth suffuses you, sinking deep into your bones and heating you up from the inside out as James grins. He doesn't love you, but there is a deeply held affection in his gaze as he looks upon you. He doesn’t love you, but he has had you more than once, and he keeps coming back for more, something he has always been reticent to do in other relationships.

“Started without me?” You ask, and your voice cracks, but you swallow down your emotion and let yourself be infected by their lust. You lace your fingers with Niki’s as soon as you’re within reach and sit at his head, shifting over a little bit so Niki can rest his head in your lap. You grasp his other hand and hold both gently in your hands, lifting them so you can kiss his fingers. James takes the opportunity you give him, kissing his way down Niki’s chest and nipping gently at the curve of his stomach. You transfer both of his hands into one of yours, then let the other trail down Niki’s body, combing your fingers back through James’ hair to grab hold of it.

“Ahhh, fuck.” James rumbles, letting you pull his head back, his eyes rolling back in his head.

“Would you mind helping me out, puppy?” You ask in a light, playful voice while letting go of his hair to instead stroke his cheek. He sighs blissfully, leaning into your hand to nuzzle gently, nodding his head, “Good boy, pup. Yes, you are. Good puppies don’t use their words, they just wag their tails and do as they’re told, don’t they?”

James nods again, his hips pressing into Niki’s and forcing a broken groan from your husband’s lips.

“Good boy. Now, would you mind undressing my husband for me, puppy?”

Niki lets out a little laugh as James hops right to it, pushing Niki’s shirt up to tangle around his arms that you’re still holding in place. You release his hands, pulling his shirt up to tangle around his wrists, then reach down to stroke your hand over his chest. His pecs have a little layer of softness overtop, giving you something to grab ahold of and squeeze, drawing a shaky gasp out of Niki’s lips.

“Is this comfortable, Niki? Or would you prefer your arms lower?” You ask, and Niki stretches a little, then settles.

“It is fine. I will let you know if I am uncomfortable.” He promises, and you hum your approval, rolling his nipples between your fingers as a reward while James wiggles Niki’s pants down over his slim hips.

“Puppy, leave Niki’s underwear for now. Be a good boy and take your own clothes off now. Puppies don’t wear clothes, do they, silly thing?” You croon, and James hops off the couch quickly, pulling his shirt up over his head and tossing it, then hurrying to unbutton his jeans. You stroke your hands down over Niki’s body, and he moans as your breasts brush against his face, pressing a kiss into your cleavage while you slide your bare palms down over his stomach. You begin to sit up more, but Niki moves his ‘restrained’ hands to grasp at your chest, and you giggle nervously as you catch them.

“Naughty, Niki, love.” You hum, but he’s already got you figured out, and you soon find yourself pressed back into the sofa beneath your husband.

“Why aren’t you letting me touch you?” Niki asks, and you hesitate, “Is this more of the bullshit from magazines?”

“I look different, Niki.” You mumble, and he sighs, looking over your fully clothed body with love and regret in his eyes.

“I have not shown you enough affection. I forgot to tell you how beautiful you are - I have not told you since the hospital, have I?” Niki muses, and James scoffs, giving your husband a gentle push to the shoulder.

“Christ, mate, no wonder-”

“James, you may help or you can be dog. Pick one. But dogs do not talk.” Niki cuts him off while coaxing you to shift so that he can unzip your dress. James sits beside you, running his fingers through your hair and tilting your head so he can kiss you, soft and gentle but no less passionate.

“My perfect little Mausi, taking care of me, and the house, and our son with very little thanks. You must tell me when you have needs, Mausi, I cannot read your mind. And do not give me bullshit about not wanting to be a burden. You are my wife - you could never be a burden. You take such good care of everyone, Mausi. You make it look so effortless that I have clearly taken you for granted, haven’t I?” Niki murmurs as he rids you of your dress, then kisses his way down your neck, unclasping your bra as he goes.

“The Rat hasn’t told you how beautiful you are, Mouse, so let me.” James whispers against your lips, stroking your cheeks as you lean into his hands, “Look at you. How did a woman as stunning as you become touch-starved? You’re so beautiful, Mouse. Don’t give me that look - you are! And no less gorgeous than you were before, either. Motherhood has made your body softer and all the better for holding.”

You shiver as he kisses his way down the other side of your neck, pausing only to help Niki take your bra off and discard it. They trail down together, and you nearly jump out of your skin as warm hands grasp your breasts and squeeze gently. Niki is the first to take initiative, swirling his tongue around the soft bud of your nipple then popping it into his mouth. He moans around a mouthful of you, and it takes everything in you to avoid grabbing his hair, and to instead be gentle with him. James watches for a moment before following suit, taking your nipple into his mouth and sucking, thrilled to find you much less gentle with him. Your fingers tangle in his golden locks, pulling sharply on his hair, your head thrown back on the sofa cushions with astonishment.

“Tastes so good, Mausi.” Niki moans as he swallows a mouthful of milk, his eyes half-lidded with desire, “you’re so soft. I’ve never felt anything so soft.”

You whine, cheeks hot with embarrassment and delight intertwined as you struggle to comprehend the message that they’re both clearly trying to drill into your thick skull. James adjusts a little, and you pet his hair as he rubs the length of his cock against your thigh, grinding in little circles.

“You’re so hard, James.” You manage to squeak out, and he moans around a mouthful of you, blinking open those sky-blue eyes to stare up at you as he grinds a little harder, “Niki got you worked up, didn’t he?”

“Niki started it. You got me here.” James replies after finally releasing you with a wet smack.

“The chance to have me raw got you-” You begin to excuse, and Niki cuts you off with a kiss.

“Getting to feel you without a rubber in the way is exciting, Mouse, but the important part of it is because it’s you. I’ve never cared about having to wear a condom. But getting to have you? I’d do a hell of a lot for a chance with you.” James corrects you, squeezing your hips and groaning at the plush of them, “Can’t decide if I want to face you or take you from behind, y’know? Perfect bloody tits and those soft lips, or that fucking beautiful ass of yours pressing into my hips. Think I could have both?”

You giggle into the kiss even as you nod, and Niki breaks it to kiss your cheek, “I know how I want you.”

“Do you?” You inquire playfully, already feeling like a weight has been lifted from your chest.

“Mmm, but you might have to stretch first.” Niki teases, and you laugh, brushing your thumb delicately over his cheek while you cup his face softly in your hand.

“As long as you help me.” You purr, stealing a kiss from your husband and stroking his hip, then tugging his underwear down his thighs, “Take these off now.”

Niki obediently kicks them off, getting comfortable beside you while you pull James into a kiss and nip his bottom lip, sucking it into your mouth. You pull the golden blond closer to you until his pelvis presses against your thigh, then give his ass a firm squeeze, nipping him as he chases your retreating lips.

“Go ahead, puppy. You can hump my leg if you want.” You purr, turning your attention back to your husband and wrapping your fingers around his cock. He’s achingly hard in your hand, the tip flushed red and leaking precum which you swipe up with your thumb to ease the glide. Niki wraps his lips back around your nipple, swirling his tongue around the hard bud while James snuggles closer and follows suit. You find yourself lost in sensation as James rolls his hips into your thigh and Niki fucks the tight precum-slick circle of your fingers, both moaning around you. You’re not surprised that Niki cracks first, crawling between your legs and spreading them open into the space he was once occupying.

“Mausi?” Niki murmurs like a question, and you know what he’s asking. You pull him closer, kissing him so softly it’s barely a whisper.

“I told you, you don’t have to ask me, Niki. I always want you.”

The reminder of your words from so long ago rings heavy for Niki, full of love and promise, and he doesn’t ask again before pressing the head of his cock inside of you. It’s been a very long time, and thus it takes a moment of gently rocking his hips to get all the way in, but you both sigh at the sensation. Niki is gentle as he pushes your leg up against the back of the couch to get a bit more room, making sure not to stretch too far. James lets out a soft whine you barely thought him capable of, sweet as sugar, and you smile at him as you bring him down into a kiss.

“Wait your turn, pup. I promise I’ll let you have me.” You murmur, but you’re generous (and conscious) enough to wrap a slick hand around his aching cock and give him something to fuck into for now. James’ refractory period is notoriously short, and his libido is high enough to keep up with two partners easily, so you know you’ll have to take care of him more than once. Especially with Niki’s condition being what it is - capable of sex, but certainly not of anything too strenuous.

Your husband seems to be trying to prove you wrong, each rough thrust going deep and pulling soft ‘ah ah ah’s from his lips. He’s pent up, your poor love. His cheeks are pink with the effort, eyes hazy and darker blue from how blown his pupils are. You pull him down into a gentle kiss, rolling your hips to meet him while your other hand remains busy with James. It’s a bit clumsy - you surprised Niki, and he hadn’t aimed very well - but you’ve never been particularly good at multitasking, and you’re sure James prefers you focusing what little dexterity you have to the hand stroking his cock.

“Close.” Niki whispers into the kiss, and you practically purr, nuzzling your nose against his.

“Good. Come for me, Niki.”

“Fill her up, Nik, I wanna fuck your cum into her.” James groans, and Niki shivers, his rhythm breaking for a moment. He never quite recovers, but you don’t blame him. You hug him close to you, releasing James in order to hold your husband while he shatters in your arms, his hips rolling in sloppy grinds to try to get deeper and maintain the sensation for as long as he can.

“I love you.” You whisper, and Niki gasps it back to you as he lets you take his weight. Sensing James’ impatience, your husband sighs as he pulls out of your blissful heat, swapping places on the couch so he still has a good view.

“Do you think you’ve earned it, puppy?” You ask, and James grins, rubbing your hips.

“Oh, definitely.”

A snort leaves you, but you lean in for a kiss despite his impertinence, “How do you want me?”

“Hands and knees, please.” James replies in a bit of a sing-song voice, and he helps you adjust, his large hands finding home on your hips. You open your mouth to tease him, but he’s quicker on the draw, and you find your words lost as he thrusts into you. His groan is one of bliss - you know he’s fucked other women raw before, so you’re unsure why he’s so thrilled with the chance with you, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. Having him want you - need you - this badly is almost more than you can handle. What did you do to deserve this? Why does James keep coming back to you when he’s so obviously desirable - capable of having anyone he wants whenever he wants. You’d say it’s for Niki, but James knows he can fuck Niki if he wants and he’s chosen to fuck you instead.

“You feel so good, Mouse. So fucking good. Sloppy with Niki’s cum. So hot and tight and pulling me in deeper.” James praises you, pressing a line of kisses up your spine that have you shivering, “If it were to be anyone, it would be you two.”

Your heart swells, and you rock back into him eagerly, heat coursing through you at the idea of having James around more often. You’ve never resented him for not being around all the time, and you were with Niki before James became a part of your relationship, but you do miss him when he’s gone. You know Niki does too. You wish sometimes that he could be with you two all the time, but you know he needs his freedom. You know that he wouldn’t be able to give up his flings, and the fun he has when he’s not with you and Niki. You know that it would stifle him, and you’d never want to ask that of him. You’re happy in your marriage, and if James found a relationship that worked for him, you would never hold it against him should he break it off with you. That being said, you were happy to have him while you could. James fit with you and Niki - not like a missing piece, but like a welcome and enriching addition. You and Niki are whole without James, but having him around is special.

You breathe his name, eyes rolling back in your head as James angles your hips and plunges deeper on his next thrust. He presses a firm hand in the centre of your sweaty back, low moans falling from his lips as he fucks you harder, deeper, his thrusts beginning to lose rhythm.

“You’re driving me mad, love. Fucking mental. How’s a man meant to keep his head with pussy this fucking good?” He croons, stroking his hand down the curve of your back to smack your ass gently.

“I-I thought it would be worse after giving birth.” You admit shakily, and James scoffs, spanking you a little harder almost as punishment.

“Ridiculous. No, you’re fucking perfect, Mouse. Feel like heaven, so tight and wet and sweet. I’m fucking all of Niki’s cum out of you, making a mess of the sofa, yeah? Don’t worry, I’m gonna - fuck - I’m gonna replace it all. Fill you up.”

James grunts as he redoubles his efforts, fucking into you harder, his breathing harsh as he gets closer. You can feel him throbbing inside of you, and you nearly yelp as familiar fingers press and roll your clit just right while James clutches your hips so tightly it nearly hurts. He fucks you harder, a desperate groan slipping from his lips as he tips over the edge and fucks his spend into you like he’s trying to plant it in your womb. You’re sure your cervix is going to be sore later, but you couldn’t care less right now.

No, all you care about is the way James tips back on the couch, dragging you with him to lay back against his chest, still balls deep inside of you.

“You look good together.” Niki murmurs, sighing as he gets shakily to his feet, “Let’s move to the bedroom - there’s not enough space down here.”

Later that evening, after having to crawl out of bed to feed your son, you snuggle down between Niki and James while they stroke your bare skin and whisper gentle praises. James strokes his thumb under your eye, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

“You look tired, Mouse. Get some rest.” He whispers, and Niki peppers kisses across your shoulders.

“We should go to Ibiza. Get away, enjoy the warmth, and find someone to help with the baby to give us time for each other.” Niki murmurs, hugging you tightly from behind while James pets your hair back out of your face. You’d love to say that you agreed wholeheartedly and kissed them both goodnight, but truthfully, you were asleep before Niki even finished his sentence.

The next morning, you all pack up your belongings and head to the airstrip. Niki flies you all to Ibiza, and you get a call less than an hour after getting to your lavish home from Liliana.

“I’ve been trying to reach you for hours, honey. Tony and I have hopefully very good news!” Liliana coos, and you pin the phone between your ear and your shoulder as you position Wilhelm in your arms to let him latch.

“What’s the news? Sorry, Lil, we just flew out today. You must have gotten the voicemail from me before we arrived.” You reply, watching as James and Niki rub sunscreen into each other by the pool.

“We’re moving to Ibiza, honey. We want to be closer to you. I’m getting bored being at home with nothing to do while Tony’s gone, and we were talking, and we thought maybe I could help you out a little. You’ve got so much on your plate.” Liliana rambles, clearly thinking you might be upset, though you can’t imagine why.

“Liliana, please, stop. I’m thrilled. I miss you both so much, all the time. It’s hard being here alone, without my family. And I do need help. I was just talking to Niki about getting someone to help us. Having you here with me would mean so much to me, and to Niki too. He loves you and Tony. If there’s anything I can do to help you guys, let me know.” You interrupt, and Liliana giggles.

“Well, about that. We might have already bought a place. We’re packing up our apartment right now.” Liliana admits, and you cheer, “So, we’ll be in Ibiza in a week, and our belongings are going to be arriving a little while after us.”

You smile, pressing a gentle kiss to Wilhelm’s forehead as he gurgles, milkdrunk and happy.

“I can’t wait to see you. We’ve got a bright future ahead of us, Lil.” You murmur, and Liliana laughs happily.

“There’s my girl. You sound like you’re a bit more yourself, don’t you? I’ll call you when we get to town, okay?”

“Okay. Love you both. Tell Tony I can’t wait to see him lying by the pool like a boiled lobster.” You tease, and Liliana’s cackles make you beam. Finally, you have hope for the future. And perhaps now, knowing help is coming, you’ll be able to enjoy having James around. James had promised to stay with you for as long as he could, unless you got sick of him. He’ll help both you and Niki find and care for your happiness - and you both clearly need the help. Together, you will figure out how to move forwards.

Together.

#niki lauda x reader #niki lauda x reader x james hunt #niki lauda #rush!niki lauda #rush!james hunt #rush 2013

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