#ryan creamer

[thousandairesshow]

💸👑 Now presenting: the trailer for Dropout's newest show Thousandaires.

Thousandaires answers an important question: how would you spend $1,000 with your friends? From emo makeovers to cottagecore strippers, Dropout cast will experience each other's dreams together.

Hosts Jacquis Neal, Jess Ross, Oscar Montoya, Ryan Creamer, Erika Ishii, and Siobhan Thompson, alongside an all-star cast of comedians, one-up their friendships with each other in this series premiering May 31st on Dropout.

Featuring guests: Danielle Radford, Persephone Valentine, Amy Vorpahl, Ify Nwadiwe, Tao Yang, Lily Du, Jacob Wysocki, Jiavani, Kimia Behpoornia, Lisa Gilroy, Matt Apodaca, Rashawn Scott, Ruha Taslimi, Patrick McDonald, Mike Trapp, Becca Scott, Carolyn Page, Sam Reich, Raphael Chestang, Katie Marovitch, Grant O'Brien, Oscar Montoya, Paul Robalino, and Elle Woods!

[shegoesbyjoy]

in honor of the new breaking news season on dropout, i present to you...

breaking news screenshots without context

[beardedmrbean]

[t4tozier]

RYAN CREAMER IS A DROPOUT WRITER??

[adainesfuriousgun]

I’m sorry. Was the the story Siobhan told in that adventuring party ABOUT Ryan Creamer or are there TWO people in the world who intentionally peed their pants on a first date.

[canonicallyanxious]

so do we think that Siobhan's friend who pissed his pants on purpose on a first date is Ryan Creamer and that's the same incident that he talks about in the first ep of dirty laundry season 2 or does Siobhan somehow know a whole separate guy who pissed his pants on purpose on a first date

[theindefinitearticle]

Sorry Ryan creamer works at dropout?????

This Ryan creamer??????

[thegardengrows-infrozenrain]

gamers it's so joever (<- has a tummy ache)

[samreich]

self-checkout 🛒

written with ryan creamer

directed and edited by gregory stees

co-voiced by @verymarykate

[gamechangershow]

Go behind-the-scenes of Sam Says 3 with Sam Reich, Kyle Rohrbach, Chloe Badner, Paul Robalino, Ryan Creamer, Nico Romero, Ash Kron, and Justin Cyrul!

[smartypantsshow]

🐖👖Now presenting: the trailer for Dropout's new show, Smartypants.

Smartypants brings together the most esteemed, inquisitive, and unhinged “academics” in comedy to ask the questions society is too afraid to ask, like “What is the happiest birthdate?" and "Do vegetables really exist?" Host Rekha Shankar leads an all-star cast to enlighten and inspire viewers in this series premiering April 25th on Dropout.

Featuring guest speakers Paul F. Tompkins, Demi Adejuyigbe, Erika Ishii, Jon Gabrus, Vic Michaelis, Katie Marovitch, Paul Robalino, Mike Trapp, Jacob Wysocki, Jess Ross, Alexis Rhiannon, Ross Bryant, Jacquis Neal, Fumi Abe, Janie Stolar, Kimia Behpoornia, Zach Reino, Raphael Chestang, Ryan Creamer, Anna Garcia, Grant O'Brien, Pallavi Gunalan, Carolyn Page, Patrick McDonald, Brian Bahe, Sara Nahusenay, Cynthia Kao, Carlos Luna, and Tao Yang.

[feraligatr]

why did no one tell me that ryan creamer, of wholesome pornhub video fame, is a writer at dropout

[dropoutdottv]

This week on Dropout: on Monday, an all-new Make Some Noise with players Zac Oyama, Jacob Wysocki, and Vic Michaelis; on Wednesday, episode 4 of Dimension 20: Mentopolis; on Thursday, the episode 4 Adventuring Party talkback; and on Friday, an all-new Um, Actually with guests Ryan Creamer, Jess Ross, and Jessica Clemons!

[ghostradiodylan]

Thirst Games

Kaitlyn threw up a three-finger Mockingjay salute. “May the odds be ever in our favor, you’re the gay Peeta Mellark to my Katniss Everdeen and these are The 74th Annual Thirst Games.”

“Me as Peeta kind of ruins the whole love triangle thing though, no?”

Kaitlyn shrugged. “Love triangles are tired.”

“Yeah, agreed.” Dylan nodded. They both recognized the irony here but refused to acknowledge it. 

———————————————

Ryan was dutifully rinsing down the canoes outside the boathouse when he noticed a tall figure approaching out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head to see Dylan loping toward him from the direction of the lodge.

“Ryan, hey! I brought you something for your next campfire!” Dylan reached into his pocket and produced a small zip-top bag full of white powder. He handed it over to Ryan, who eyed it suspiciously.

“Dylan… is this cocaine?”

“Yes. Definitely. I’m giving you cocaine for the campfire with your 10 year old campers. First one’s free. That’s how I get you.”

Ryan looked at him blankly. Dylan sighed.

“It’s coffee creamer, you absolute narc. If you toss just a little in the fire, it flames up and you should get some cool sparks. It’s the magic of chemistry. The kids’ll think you’re a wizard. I thought it’d enhance the vibes for your ghost stories!”

“Oh, wow, that’s… actually really cool.” Ryan’s face broke into a grin. “Thanks Dylan!”

“Don’t mention it,” he winked roguishly, “I like you Ryan, but not enough to share my cocaine with you.” 

Ryan chuckled at this but as he watched Dylan saunter away toward the radio hut, he had to admit that he really didn’t know if he was joking or not. Ryan was often sarcastic himself, but he also had a habit of taking things others said a bit too literally. He figured Dylan probably was not doing lines in the little shack where he worked over the schedules with Kaitlyn and made his announcements, although if he had been that would explain some of his more colorful broadcasting choices.

———————————————

Dylan was alone in the radio hut waiting for Kaitlyn. He had his back to the door, fully absorbed in trying, unsuccessfully, to unstick a stuck button on the ancient PA system, when he heard the door open.

“Sup Kaitlyn?” He called without looking, “you won’t believe what Ryan said today!” An unexpected warm bass voice came in response.

“What did I say?”

Dylan’s head whipped toward the source of the sound so violently that he nearly toppled out of his chair.

“Uhhh something very wise and cool, obviously,” Dylan fumbled, his hand flying to the back of his head disarmingly as he took in the handsome sailing instructor he’d just been all too ready to gossip about.

“Smooth,” was Ryan’s only reply. He was wearing one of those inscrutable smiles he seemed to favor, the ones that drove Dylan crazy, for better and for worse.

“Sorry, I was expecting Kaitlyn.”

“Yeah, I gathered that. So, what were you saying about me?” Dylan could feel heat rising in his cheeks. He felt like he’d been caught in a transgression, but Ryan didn’t sound angry or even suspicious, he merely seemed interested.

“Oh, just about you mistaking the coffee creamer for cocaine. I thought that was pretty cute.”

Why the hell had he said that last part out loud? Did he forget his Adderall again today? “I mean,” he quickly continued, “I just hope you didn’t try to snort a line or whatever. Woulda' been disappointing to get a nose full of French vanilla and no head rush.”

This seemed to put Ryan at ease. He laughed softly.

“Anyway, what brings you to my humble radio station today, sailor?” Dylan put on what he hoped was a winning smile, “what can I do you for—um—do for you?”

“I was actually thinking more about what I could do for you.”

Mysterious. Cryptic. Intriguing. Why was Ryan like this? And why did Dylan like it so much?

“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow. “Do tell.”

“Birthday present for you,” said Ryan, “I talked to Mr. H and he finally agreed to let you guys take the van tonight since I’m going too.” Ryan pulled a set of keys from his pocket and twirled it on his index finger before tossing it to Dylan.

Dylan had to concentrate very hard to actually catch the keys hurtling toward his face, but he managed to do so and was incredibly thankful he hadn’t beefed it in front of Ryan.

“Hey, sweet, thanks dude!” Dylan was actually touched. Ryan hadn’t had to do that, but he was glad he did. Ryan thought the van was the present but Dylan wanted to tell him his presence was the only present he needed. Fuck, that was corny. Being in love made him so corny. He refrained. “I’m really glad you decided to go.”

“Sure thing. I could use a night away from the kids, honestly.”

Dylan and Ryan were grinning at each other when the door burst open again.

“Honey, I’m home!” Kaitlyn called to Dylan before noticing that Ryan was there. “Oh,” she raised an eyebrow at Dylan, “am I interrupting something?” Ryan answered her.

“I was just letting the birthday boy know I secured the wheels for this evening.”

“Oh, cool beans! Can’t wait for our wild night out clubbing in North Kill, the the city that never wakes, with three entire businesses that are open past 7 pm!”

“Hey, we’ll make our own fun,” Dylan promised her, “we always do.”

“Well, it’s almost time for rowing lessons,” said Ryan, by way of excusing himself, “see you guys when you get off tonight.” 

Yeah, definitely gonna see you when I get off tonight, Dylan thought lewdly, I usually do.

“Later Ry-guy,” said Kaitlyn.

Once she was sure Ryan was out of earshot she wheeled around on Dylan.

“Oh my god, your face when I came in just now,” Kaitlyn tittered as Dylan’s cheeks went slightly pink, “Dude. You’re so whipped. You look at that boy like he’s the moon. Like you’re stoned out of your mind and he’s last bag of Cheetos on earth.”

“I knowwww,” Dylan groaned dramatically, dropping his head onto the desk, “I’m so obvious, it’s painful.”

“Well, you’re obvious and he’s oblivious so that’s an interesting combination.”

“I keep flirting with him thinking he might be flirting with me too, but it’s so hard to tell.”

“I can’t get a read on him either. Of course, I haven’t tried to flirt with him. I let men come to me. Or not. It’s whatever.”

Dylan snickered lightly at this, “I don’t think either method is getting us anywhere but, hey, may the odds be ever in our favor.”

Kaitlyn threw up a three-finger Mockingjay salute. “May the odds be ever in our favor, you’re the gay Peeta Mellark to my Katniss Everdeen and these are The 74th Annual Thirst Games.”

“Me as Peeta kind of ruins the whole love triangle thing though, no?”

Kaitlyn shrugged. “Love triangles are tired.”

“Yeah, agreed.” Dylan nodded. They both recognized the irony here but refused to acknowledge it. 

“Aw, shit,” Dylan continued, “you would look hot as fuck with a bow and arrow.”

Kaitlyn gave a small bow of acknowledgement indicating that she did not disagree. “Well, if things go sideways, I’m not frosting myself like a cake,” he shot her a wicked grin, “might let Ryan do it though.”

“Oh my god!” She laughed in disbelief. “That is so wrong.”

“You’re right, if we’re sticking to the bakery metaphor, it’s really more of a glaze.” 

“EW! You repulse me, Lenivy. I’m out.” Kaitlyn waved a hand dismissively and turned to leave the radio hut.

“Shut up, you love me. Hey, wait up Short Stack!”

"Catch up, Stretch," she shouted back.

Dylan scrambled after her. He did catch up pretty easily since her little legs were like half as long as his. They were heading to the boathouse for their Monday ritual of watching Ryan row across the lake in a tank top. Their ostensible purpose was to act as lifeguards in case any of the kids fell out of the rowboats, but Ryan hadn’t lost one yet so they mostly just chatted together and ogled him shamelessly in the highly flattering golden hour light.

Dylan was gazing at Ryan through a pair of binoculars, watching Ryan’s toned arms and shoulders flexing and releasing as the propelled his boat across the lake. Happy Birthday to me, he thought smugly. Of course, it would have been sexier if Ryan hadn’t had to wear that bright yellow life jacket that obscured the rest of him, or stop to shout instructions at a bunch of middle school kids through a megaphone every few strokes as they screamed and flailed and invariably dropped their paddles into the lake, but Dylan would take what he could get. 

He heard someone approaching him from behind but couldn’t imagine that whoever it was could possibly be more interesting than Ryan’s biceps, so Dylan kept his eyes right where they were until he felt a hand firmly grasp his ass. 

“The fuck—?“ he yelped, jumping and nearly dropping his binoculars.

“Happy Birthday, babe,” said a smooth voice in his ear. It was Nick. Dylan swatted Nick’s hand away, tsking in disapproval and kicking backward, halfheartedly, at the other boy’s shin.

“I swear, Nicholas, if you don’t stop sexually harassing me you’re gonna end up sucking my dick. And that’ll be so embarrassing for you when I get drunk off my ass and tell everyone about it at your and Abi’s wedding. Which I’ll be DJing, obviously.”

“I see no reason that I should be embarrassed by any such boyish transgressions of my bachelor days.” Nick shrugged affably, taking a long drag on the joint he’d brought to the boathouse with him and slowly releasing the smoke through his nose.

“Oh my god, get a room you two.” Kaitlyn held out her hand expectantly, her binoculars still pressed to her face and trained on Ryan. She’d smelled the weed without needing to see it. Nick passed her the spliff and she took a hit.

Dylan had no interest in getting a room with Nick. The tall, wavy-haired guy was certainly attractive enough (plus, who wouldn’t go a little weak in the knees the first time they heard that accent?) and Dylan had made a few earnest passes at him before settling on Ryan as his summer crush, but he was pretty sure Nick was straight, or at least mostly straight. He flirted with Dylan in a joking way, sometimes he even crossed the line a bit, like he had just now, but the way he looked at Abi, the deference with which he treated her, the way he got all cute and fidgety when she spoke to him, that felt more like the real deal and Dylan shipped it. He was trying his best to get Nick to make a move, but thought he was pretty hopeless. Which was maybe a little hypocritical of Dylan since he couldn’t seem to make a move on his crush either. But tonight, he thought, that could very well change.

Anyway, it hadn’t taken long for Dylan to realize he only had eyes for Ryan. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. His heart and other prime real estate was reserved for Ryan alone. His eyes however were free to wander over Nick’s bare chest and abs at the pool if they so desired, and it often turned out that they did. But Nick was a follower and no amount of abdominal definition could make up for that in Dylan’s opinion. He was pretty sure the only reason Nick kept flirting with him was that he was mirroring Dylan’s playfully flirtatious energy back at him. He did the same with Jacob, becoming a meathead obsessed with ‘getting chicks’ if they hung out one-on-one for too long.

Ryan, on the other hand, was his own person through and through. He was into the niche little things he liked, black metal, ghost stories, cryptozoology; he didn’t care who knew it or what they thought. And while they generally had a friendly repartee, Ryan challenged Dylan if he thought he was wrong and, as much as Dylan hated for anyone to think he was wrong, he admired the backbone it took for Ryan to point it out, even when he disagreed.

Nick offered the joint to Dylan, who considered it for a moment and declined. “Nah man, Ryan’s coming tonight. I gotta be straight.”

“I feel like you’d want to be anything but straight in every possible way if Ryan’s coming,” Nick chuckled.

“You know what I mean,” he brought the binoculars back up to his eyes in time to see Ryan frantically fishing yet another lost oar out of the lake, “I have to focus.”

“Are you really gonna be straight edge on your own birthday?” asked Kaitlyn, still not taking her eyes off of Ryan. “BOR-ING!”

“No way, I’ll definitely be drunk later,” Dylan assured her, smiling.

“Good,” said Nick, “because I have a handle of vodka in the walk-in with our names on it.”

“Perfection. I’ll stick with that. I just don’t wanna get paranoid around Ryan. He already puts me on edge. Plus, your stash is of a questionable strain if you ask me.”

“Hey!” Nick protested, “It is not! This is perfectly good bud, just because you were convinced that your head was physically fused to the futon last time we smoked, doesn’t mean it’s a quality issue. Didn’t happen to anyone else, did it? That’s the fault of the partaker, not the product.” Kaitlyn was giggling.

“Either way, you guys better get rid of that before Ryan gets finished with the lesson because he will FUH-REAK if he catches you smoking on the property.”

“Ugh, he’s such narc,” Kaitlyn’s eyes were obscured by the binoculars, but Dylan was pretty sure she was rolling them.

“I told him the same thing earlier. I guess we are technically supposed to be ready to jump in the lake to save someone at a moment’s notice, so, maybe he’d be justified in wanting us to not be compromised. For once,” Dylan granted. 

“Yeah, well, good thing you aren’t partaking so you don’t become one with deck while one of the campers drowns.” Nick smirked. Dylan kicked him in the shin for real this time.

———————————————

Happy Thirst Games Thursday, have some pre-canon Hacketteer camaraderie.

This is a WIP inspired by Dylan's birthday being right in the middle of camp and Ryan's line about vodka bringing people together. It's either going to be a one shot posted on my AO3 or it'll get folded into Particles & Waves as a flashback, I haven't yet decided which.

I love these jerks. 💕

[prettyseaveins]

Lover Boy, Lover Girl - R.R.

Ryan Ross x female!reader one shot

SFW / No warnings 

word count: 748

Summary: a small snippet into a random morning with Ryan Ross

“Ryan, did you hear what the fuck is going on with the government?” you asked, your body leaning against an arm of their shared couch as you held a cup of coffee. A look of disbelief was on your face as your boyfriend sat down beside you, letting his eyes fall on the screen you stared at. “This literally means that the government is gonna start controlling our brains or some shit because they want to block the media we consume—which is complete and utter bullshit! What the fuck? Does this mean I am no longer going to be able to sing about socialism and shit?”

“I think you’ll be able to sing about your idealistic world of anti-capitalism and love for me no matter what the government says,” he smiled comfortingly at you and let a hand rub your thigh soothingly. “This probably won’t even pass. Do you even hear how dumb they sound? She asked him if some dumb meme caused kids to become communists. I think we’ll be fine.”

“I guess you’re right, but also, who said I sang about loving you? For all you know, I could be singing about my love for Pedro Pascal or another celebrity crush that is ranking high on the list. Who knows, it could even be one of your friends from a different band. What was that bassist that took over Jon’s spot? Austin, was it? Or maybe his name was Antonio?” You put a finger up to your chin, tapping it as you faked your pondering. “Oh, I remember! Dallon is his name! Isn’t he a part of some big and famous band now? Supposedly even better than that band you used to be in?” Before you could utter another word, Ryan grabbed the coffee out of your hands and pushed his free hand into your side, starting to tickle you.

“You better plead for mercy,” he said, continuing to tickle you as you giggled and thrashed around. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! You were right! All my songs are about you and not some stupidly gorgeous hunk!” Another fit of giggles and laughter left your lips as he continued to harass your side with wiggling fingers. “I said you were right! Please, have mercy on my soul!” After a couple more seconds of tickling, Ryan stopped and let you be free of the punishment.

“Thank you for admitting I was right,” he took a quick sip out of your mug, grimacing at the taste. “You put way too much creamer in here.”

“Yeah, well it wasn’t for you, it was for me,” you sat up and grabbed the mug from him before taking a sip of your own coffee. “I could make you a cup if you want. One that has less sugar for your poor old soul.”

“You can’t be mean to me anymore. I have fingers of steel that could tickle you for eons to come,” he wiggled his fingers to try and prove just how serious he was, but it only resulted in a cringe from you.

“Okay, lover boy. I’m gonna make you a cup of coffee so I can hopefully get that image out of my head,” you stood up and started walking to the kitchen, setting down your own mug to start making Ryan’s. “And can you please change the channel? I would love to stop thinking about how the world is coming to an end for one second.”

“As you wish,” he picked up the remote and flicked it to a different channel, letting a random episode of Friends play as you made him coffee. “Make sure to use the mushroom house mug.”

“You mean the only mug you ever use? Technically, it isn’t even your mug, I’m the one that bought it,” you countered, finishing making his coffee before walking back to the living room and passing the mug to him. “I made sure to keep it extra disgusting.”

“Just because I like my coffee actually tasting like coffee doesn’t mean it’s disgusting. Also, I will forever be denying the fact that this was ever your mug. They are forever mine,” you rolled your eyes at his statement and grabbed your own mug, it coincidentally originally owned by your boyfriend, before taking your own sip.

“Whatever you say, nerd,” you giggled and let yourself sink next to Ryan, resting your head on his shoulder.

“I love you too, lover girl,” he said softly, peacefully watching the television with you.

~

A/N: I just wanted to create more ryan ross content so i wrote this lol. i’m gonna write more so drop suggestions if u want to ! thank you :)

[aidenoconnell]

the callback.

Jackson gives them some breathing room to recoup and sift through their choices. Luckily August chooses three and they go back and forth about it for about a week, pros and cons and of course they circle back to why they need another member of the band. Again, it’s something Aiden understands and he’s compassionate to his brother about it but the more he thinks it over it doesn’t sound too awful. One guy, two girls– Hunter, Madison and Ryan. They’re all strong, performers, have the range but for Aiden? He keeps falling back onto the Ryan train that Luci has started campaigning for. He sees the appeal (and tells Rob to stop calling this girl legs) and she’s got all this talent wrapped in a bow. 

Aiden leans against the kitchen counter as he waits for the coffee to brew, the three folders on the island in front of him. He slides his hand across his face, rubbing his one eye and steps forward to look them all over as if he hadn’t done that eighty times this week. Jackson wants an answer today, the label needs the answer. Aiden wonders if August will be on board or if he’ll dismantle the entire movement when they get to the office building. 

He pushes Ryan’s folder forward, moving back to the coffee machine and grabs a mug for himself, filling it up and tops it with some hazelnut creamer. Luci introduced it, her favourite, now apparently Aiden’s too. He leaves the kitchen and walks down the hall, knocking on August’s door along the way. “We gotta leave in thirty,” He calls, going into his own bedroom.