#ryan felt the need to be punished

[acecroft]

Come on. Just kill me… THE FOLLOWING 1.09

[rowretro]

ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕫𝕪 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝔼𝕒𝕔𝕙 𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣

✧taglist: @enha-ism

✧warnings: toxic/yandere themes, violence, stalking Blood, forceful kiss

✧synopsis: Yandere Riki kidnaps you after planning for so long. He finally gets to keep you, you're all his. The male expected you to scream, shout and put up a fight so he can punish and tame you, however things were a lot different with his y/n...

✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧

Finally, after all those years of watching other boys and girls be so close with his pretty princess, he finally got her to himself. Y/n woke up, chained in a basement, she was quite shocked and a little frightened by her surroundings. When she set her eyes on Riki, she felt like she was dreaming.

"Look here princess... outside of this basement is a beautiful home for you and me to live in. If you behave and do as I say princess... I'll spoil you with everything you want." He said as he twirled her hair "But if you disobey me... you will face harsh consequences darling..." He added as he yanked on her hair, glaring at her. "I'll do anything you say babe" The girl said staring up at him as Riki frowned.

"How cute... so easy to scare hmm?" Riki asked as he pecked her lips softly, leaving the girl blushing. After an hour or so of silence in the basement, he let her out, leading her to their bedroom, he took her to the walk in closet where all of y/n's clothes, and other beautiful clothes exactly like the ones on her wish list or basket hung in order. "This is your side of the closet, like it?" he asked as the girl smiled.

"Don't think I'll ever let you out darling... the only time you'd ever be allowed out is to skool, with me." He sternly said as y/n nodded. "You know I'm not that scary right?" Riki said and she smiled at him "I know babe, but I want to make you happy" the girl said as the male seemed shocked, he gave her a towel and kissed her forehead, realizing she was sincere about that. She fucking loves him the way he loves her.

Since that day, even the school knows that the 2 are openly dating, though unaware of his yandere tendencies. So many people shipped them, they were just so cute together, inseparable. However other. 2 boys in specific. Really hated the 2 being together. Ryan and Tyler, who had been trying to pursue y/n for the past year or so, are pissed to see how Riki swooped in and took her away.

So they acted on it. Riki had gotten into detention as per usual and you waited for him outside as the teacher wouldn't let you in. Knowing this, Tyler dragged her to an empty classroom, while Ryan covered your mouth with his hand, the males smirked as she tried to leave the classroom.

"Not so fast pretty girl..." Tyler said pulling her back by her hair. "The 2 of us fucking tried all we could to get you for the past year, we were so sweet so fucking perfect... yet you went out with that freak?!!!" Ryan yelled at her as he slapped her hard enough to make her head hit the board. He pulled her back, forcefully kissing her. Before any of them can even lay another hand on her, the door went flying off it's hinges, hitting Tyler.

When the 2 males turned around, they were met with a very pissed off Riki. Do I even need to tell you what happened to them? According to the teachers there, the boys fought each other so badly, they ended up killing each other. So says the police, the court, and everyone. Riki kissed the girl's forehead as he dried her hair "Next time I get into detention, cause some trouble and get in with me hmm baby?" Riki asked as the girl nodded with a smile.

[bengiyo]

Thoughts on Office Relationships, Breakups, Outings, and More in August ‘24 Shows

I couldn’t bring myself to finish Cosmetic Playlover today, so instead I decided to write about three shows doing interesting things with relationships right now. I don’t really have the time or interest in Stray Thoughts anymore, so I hope y’all enjoy this. For the past two weeks I’ve been thinking about the breakups and new relationships in The Trainee and Mr. Mitsuya’s Planned Feeding, and now I’m also thinking about Takara being upfront with Taishin about the state of their relationship on Takara’s Treasure. I want to get some of these thoughts down for posterity. 

The Ba-Mhee and Tae Breakup on The Trainee

I genuinely love that this show followed through on these two splitting up. I also like that Ba-Mhee asked to take the time to figure out what she’s feeling for Judy before doing something else. Ba-Mhee seems to define herself a lot by the relationship she’s in, and it was sad to see her struggling with the way Tae didn’t always respond to her attempts at expressing care and affection–methods which he never asked for. I think the two of them definitely needed to separate, because it’s not going to work if she’s feeling insecure because Tae is working hard in his preferred field.

That being said, I don’t like the thing with Judy because we know so little about Judy. All I really know about Judy right now is that she’s a workaholic with few personal relationships outside of the office, she’s queer, and she is good at handling clients. When she went to see Ba-Mhee after kissing her drunk intern the night before her anniversary at a work event, I wasn’t keen on the way it felt like Judy managed Ba-Mhee in that scene. Judy feels a bit inaccessible as a character right now, and I hope that’s a choice the show is making about how Ba-Mhee’s relationship with Judy is also rather one-sided, and entirely about her. I hope part of Ba-Mhee’s queer journey is recognizing how she seems to define herself by her relationships, and finds an identity independent of romance.

As for Judy… I hope there’s more to her here than just being pretty and good at her job. We’ve been let down twice this year by GL office romance, and I’d like for that to not be a constant trend. I’d like to see them give her nuance in her pursuit of a relationship with one of her reports.

Lastly, I really loved that Tae is trying to figure out how to be single again, and Pah got mad on his behalf. It’s a good compromise in a genre that seems to really not want characters to be  mad at each other for too long, especially when one of them has really hurt another. Tae got to be sad, and someone got to be righteous on his behalf. We even had good storytelling come out of these two using their jobs to punish each other, with it being very clear that these were bad choices. 

Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko Betrayed Its Characters

While I’m here, let me just say that the back half of this show was utterly offensive, and actively betrayed its own characters. I cannot believe that Hiroko’s own community was so quick to betray her trust and out her repeatedly. I cannot believe this show abandoned Hiroko’s straight girl problems from the beginning for a message that “It’s not that bad now, so just come out. I cannot believe this show had a Boob Monster lesbian withhold sex from her horny girlfriend for a year so she could “cherish her.” I am baffled by all of the choices that went into this, and I will not be recommending it. It gets a 4 from me. 

Jane’s Ex on The Trainee

I thought it was really interesting to introduce an ex at this point while Ba-Mhee and Ryan are both considering potential relationships with their mentors. There are consequences in a professional field when you date within your field for some folks, and it’s clear that happened with Jane. Nine, the ex, was here to once again benefit from Jane’s talents, and Jane did not seem like he expected to receive any real credit or benefit from that work. I’m curious if the show intends for any resolution for Jane with Nine, or if he’s here as a romantic tool for Ryan.

Speaking of Ryan, he is clearly in his early 20s, because his jealousy spiral exhausted me. Jane was obviously not into that man, and assured Ryan that he would be back later by making sure he and Ryan had plans for later. I hope we get back to Ryan actually being a good supporter when he’s focused and motivated, especially now that we know that Jo was meant to illuminate things about Pah.

Mitsuya’s Breakup with Noguchi on Mr. Mitsuya’s Planned Feeding

One of my favorite things about this age-gap story is that Mitsuya has been out for a long time, and he has a romantic and sexual history. I loved that he’s had an on again-off again relationship that he needed to bring to a close as part of his own story, and I loved how it wasn’t the ugliest of breakups. These two men know each other intimately, and this final break for them turned into a small celebration of what they had between them. Important things got aired, they snipped a little at each other, and they got to enjoy one last meal together in a way that added a gentle finality to the situation.

On Ishida’s end, I absolutely loved that he’s continued to be upright with Mitsuya about his feelings, called their date what it was, and stepped down from his professional role with Mitsuya. On top of that, I actually love that it was Noguchi that gave him the final inspiration he needed to go back to sports and face his own angst there. It’s actually so special for me that a 27 year-old man who felt like he had to give up on his dreams is finding a way to do something with the specific feelings he has about that. 

I’m also never getting over Ishida telling Mitsuya that he wants to be seen as a man and not a cute kid.This, right after introducing Mitsuya to a food he’d never experienced before! We can thank @isaksbestpillow for making this possible, and this feels especially poignant for me right after we said goodbye to Okita Kakeru, who explicitly wanted to be seen as cute. I am really excited about the queer themes that keep coming out of this show, and I’m sure I’ll have more to say.

Takara and Taishin Avoiding Breakup Nonsense on Takara’s Treasure

So often in these shows with small age gaps in school, they never seem to know how to cope with graduation. I finished rewatching You’re My Sky last night, and that show solved it with travel for one couple, and external collaboration for the mains. I loved this show having the older partner ask the junior directly about the challenges of life after graduation for them as a couple. 

This worked so well, because the show has shown us for weeks that Taishin is always paying attention to Takara, and @lurkingshan detailed how many ways Taishin showed that he understood Takara this week, and I appreciated @clownshoessqueaking covering how Takara has managed his restraint across this show. It’s just so rare that we see two characters have the important conversation that needs to be had, and give each other the exact assurances they need. Taishin got to hear directly from Takara about how things were going for them, and was able to say that he wanted the relationship and initiate physical intimacy between them. 

For all that this show has felt really quiet for two months, it’s becoming one of the shows I will likely remember from this year. 

That’s all for now. Thanks for reading!

[sinister-things]

Yandere ROTTMNT Headcanons

NOTE: I do not support this behavior in real life. This post is made for entertainment purposes ONLY. Everything in this post(and beyond) should always stay fictional. Please seek professional help if you or a loved one are experiencing any of these behaviors.

This post was inspired by @pianocat939 's headcanons

Also ⚠️TW⚠️: Mentions of stalking, murder, kidnapping, manipulation, and body restraints

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Raph

Dependent + Protective

Everytime you visit the lair, he's dragging you to the training room to show you the newest move he learned

He just gets so much comfort when you're around! He feels so warm and safe!

But, overtime, he becomes dependent on your attention. He secretly follows you places without you knowing

Treats you like glass. Is super afraid to hurt you

Which results in babying you to the extreme. Basically deludes himself into believing you can't do anything by yourself

If he needs to go anywhere(like patrol or something) he has one of his brother's watch you

If you ever escape, he's sent into a rampage that not even his brother's can tame

"Hun, where are you? You're freakin' me out!"

Overall, he's very suffocating, but he means well... if locking you away in the sewers is your definition of well

Leo

Manipulative + Dependent

Master of mind games

He won't admit it, but he feels useless

So, to make himself feel better, he makes himself useful... by making you feel helpless

The reason he manipulates is because he want's you to see him as your knight in shining armor

Anything could trigger an obsession. Likely some kind of heart-to-heart interaction

If you're someone who isn't manipulated easily, he will up the ante

I imagine he'd snap if he found out one of your friends had a thing for you

He's 100% killing your friend

Then he's coming to your house to whisk you away

Don't bother trying to hide. He'll find you

"There you are, princess! Don't cry– your knight is here!"

You're his little darling, all vulnerable without him guiding you

Donnie

Obsessive + Controlling

Poor Othello Von Ryan felt that his inventions weren't enough for his family(but he would never admit that)

You asked about one of his inventions and he immediately became an excited little boy on christmas morning

Praise him. Tell him he did a good job. He's weak at the knees

Finally, someone sees his genius!

He rarely shows emotion. But when he's alone, a dark voice drives him mad with horrible thoughts

You're just so precious! You mean the world to him!

Tends to stare. He likes to admire you but would never make eye contact

However, if you resist him, he won't hesitate to punish you

However, he's smart and thinks about aforementioned punishment. He wants to find the best way to break you

He's knows what he's doing is illegal and you don't like it, but he doesn't care

Get's jealous very easily

Either he'll kill those... pests or his tech will

"I don't express my feelings very much, but I love you dearly. You're just too paranoid to see that right now."

Mikey

Delusional + Worshipper

Mikey develops an obsession quite rapidly

You're an angel to him! A goddess even!

Mikey believes that you can do no wrong and that nothing is ever your fault

He memorizes your routine and likes to sit outside your window at night

You just look adorable! So peaceful!

He considers you his "muse"

Pictures of you fill his sketch book and line the walls of his room

He believes that you love him just as much as he loves you

You visit the lair and greet him first? Oh, you little flirt!

You hug him a few seconds longer than you did Leo or Raph? You're dying to touch him as much he does with you!

He believes he is the best choice for you and that no one is worthy of your presence

But, if you try and resist him, he'll just tie you up in his kusari-fundo and cuddle you

Drugs your food if he gets that upset. Only sleeping pills, it's the only thing he has access to

He treats you like you solved world hunger

Oh no, your friend was murdered? How terrible!

You wouldn't blame him, would you?

"You're so pretty, like a goddess!"

[starcrossedxwriter]

Wicked Fantasies Part 4 (MBJ x Black OC)

Warnings: mentions of grief and death… NSFW, public sex, name calling, BDSM themes

A/N: lol remember when I said this was gonna be two parts? Well I finished both so I said why not lol long chapter ahead but I hope you enjoy!

***

“It’s really insane when you think about it,” she laughed. “I mean God, these people are saying shit I wouldn’t dare breathe out loud… to a complete stranger. Do your DMs always look like this?” 

Michael nodded, causing Raven to shake her head in complete disbelief. “I don’t see most of ‘em but my team likes to share the wildest ones sometimes. The people are mad creative.”

“You don’t ever feel objectified by it?” Raven asked, her nails tapping quietly against her screen as she deleted DM after DM. 

“Sometimes but it’s par the course in my world. And they do it to all celebrities. It’s also not like me and my team don’t play into that shit. So it’s kinda hard to get mad. When you get branded as a sex symbol, people treat you like one. And generally, people don’t mean any harm by it. As long as people, you know, keep that shit on social, I don’t get bothered.”

“Fair. People need to like get offline and touch grass. The amount of women in my DMs insulting me for ‘stealing you?’ You’d think I wrecked their fantasy home. It’s kinda disturbing, not gonna lie.” 

Despite the rise in explicit DMs, Raven was pleasantly surprised at how little her life had changed since she became the public girlfriend of a mega movie star. She had never seen so many follow requests in her life and the cameras swarmed the library for the first few days. However, other than that and one or two articles detailing the sparse details of her life that were available, things were pretty much exactly the same. It also helped that there was a major celebrity scandal each week so their relationship had quickly become old news. But they were the new “it couple” on the block. The world bought their act hook, line, and sinker. A few more months of this and the debacle of their first date would be a funny passing joke on SNL or Late Night tv and nothing more. 

“I feel bad dragging you to this shit on your birthday,” Michael mumbled apologetically. 

Raven scoffed. “It’s a dinner party at Ryan Coogler’s with the cast of my favorite superhero movie of all time,” she exclaimed, a bit of her fan girl side slipping out. “Hardly a punishment. We got our photo so you can post something cute and sappy for the gram and I get to do something fun completely unrelated to my birthday. Win, win.” She assured him with a smile. 

Michael still did not understand her aversion to her birthday, it was one of the many things about her that were a big question mark. He thought she was just being modest when she told him so when Ryan invited the couple to dinner at his spot, he felt bad for even asking her to give up her special day for a work event. However, she said yes immediately, clearly thankful for a work obligation to fill up her evening. 

Her phone rang, interrupting Michael’s response. She rolled her eyes when she saw her sister’s name pop up. She had been dodging her and her dad’s calls left and right since she and Michael’s first date weeks ago. She knew her sister would find out from social media and would tell their dad, and she knew they both were just calling with their hands outstretched. She could tolerate them asking for her money and the money she did not have yet, she always found it and, even if she complained, she would give it. But she would not entertain requests for money that was not hers to give away, nor would she give Michael the impression she was a gold digger trying to bleed him dry. He was upholding his end of the bargain, she would not milk him for anymore than that. She let it go to voicemail, however, soon the car filled with the constant dings of her texts.

“You gotta take that?” 

“Umm… yea,” Michael could feel her entire mood sour at the idea. “It’s just my sister. She’ll never stop calling if I don’t. You mind? Sorry,” her tone was apologetic, knowing how frustrating it would be to listen to half a conversation in a car you can’t escape from. 

She held the phone to her ear and waited for her to pick up, making sure to turn the volume down as low as possible in hopes Michael would hear as little of whatever insanity her sister would spew. She knew she was not calling to merely offer happy birthday wishes, if she even acknowledged the day at all.

“Raven! I’ve been calling you for days. What the fuck?” Kiara’s voice filled her ears. 

“Hi Kiara. Sorry, I’ve been a little busy. How are you?” 

“I’m fine.” She responded shortly without asking Raven the same. “And yea, a little busy all over the fuckin’ ShadeRoom. You know how fuckin’ embarrassing it is to find out you’re dating MY celebrity crush on Insta?? You didn’t even like that nigga or his movies.” 

Not true, Raven wanted to yell into the phone. She and her sister were not close enough to know each other’s favorite movies or actors, hell even favorite colors, let alone gossip about their relationships together. So she was not sure why Kiara even expected to know about her relationship, even if it hadn’t been a complete farce. 

“You have me out here lookin’ stupid as shit to my friends.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize how it would impact you.” There was a hint of sarcasm in her voice, which she could tell Michael picked up on as he choked back a laugh. However, she knew Kiara was too self absorbed to notice.

“When are you gonna bring him here for us to meet him? The girls want to meet him too.”  

“You and dad are always welcome to come to LA and meet him. O-Or just, you know, visit me?” she threw him an apologetic shrug that just made him laugh. She wished she could laugh at how quickly her family’s tune had changed about seeing her. She had invited them to LA countless times before everything fell apart but they couldn’t have cared less about her life and how she was doing. And when she tried to visit them, they made excuse after excuse about why it was not a “good time.” But now that she had a famous boyfriend, it was “when are you coming to visit?” As if the invitation had always been open. She had not seen her family in two years. “Don’t think either of us have time to come to y’all with his schedule. He’s going out of town soon for his new movie.”

“Maybe I can convince dad if you can get us tickets to the premiere of that movie…. What’s the name? I don’t remember. The girls would love that shit. Or… oh! He has to be invited to the new Black Panther premiere next month too. Maybe we can go to that? I don’t know what that shit’s about but it’s Black Panther so you know hella celebs will be there. He’s gotta be a brand ambassador for some fancy shit. Can you get us some Birkins or something?”

Raven clenched her eyes shut as her sister outlined her laundry list of impossible wants from her “boyfriend.” She knew she could never and would never ask Michael for a fraction of these things. And if she was going to ask him for something out of their contractual obligations, she doubted whether it would be to benefit Kiara of all people. She would do it on behalf of someone who would actually appreciate it.

“I’ll ask him. But maybe for now, you can settle for an autograph? Look, we are actually headed out on a date. Did you or dad need something?”

“Oh yea… I need money for a lawyer for that charge from a couple weeks ago. You know that fuck ass bar is suing us for damages? But that shit wasn’t even our fault.” 

Raven’s head lazily fell to the side as she half-listened to her sister complain for several minutes, drowning on with details from the fight  that made Raven think the bar was well within their rights to demand payment. But accountability was not Kiara’s strong suit. She offered lame “ohs” and “wows” to give the impression that she was truly paying attention. She was just waiting for the ask, there always was one and everything before it was pointless. She finally tuned back in when her sister demanded cash. 

“I gave dad the rest of my savings to bail you and your boyfriend out of jail. And I already sent money for the mortgage and dad’s car. I’m tapped out this month.” 

“Fuck you mean tapped out? You’re living like a fuckin’ big shot in LA with a millionaire for a boyfriend and you can’t slide me money for a lawyer? That’s fuckin’ foul, Raven.” 

Raven clenched her eyes shut. It had already been hard enough to keep up the appearances that she had a thriving career in LA. Adding a fake relationship to the house of lies she existed in did not help matters. Her family had no idea how much she was struggling now and while she knew she could tell them, she did not want to deal with their reactions, which she knew would likely be to blame her. She felt enough guilt and blame for her situation as it was. 

“I can’t just make money I don’t have materialize, Kiara.” She lowered her voice though she knew there was no way Michael was not listening. “You know just because I let you and dad treat me like an ATM, doesn’t mean I do that to other people. I don’t have the money right now but I can pay the bar in installments when I come into more in a couple weeks and just pay off the damages for you.” 

“No, we aren’t payin’ the fuckin’ bar cause we didn’t do shit. And wow… God. You’re so fuckin’ selfish, running off to LA and abandoning us here to make all that money with your fancy degrees and shit.” 

“Did I run off and abandon you or did you make it impossible to stay?” Raven asked, her exhaustion at constantly being the villain of her family’s story getting the better of her. 

“Poor Raven. Always the fuckin’ victim as if everything that’s wrong in this family isn’t your fault. And to pull that card today of all days when you know it’s the anniversary of mom’s death. If it weren’t for you…” Kiara started to say before Raven cut her off, tears welling up in her eyes as she already could hear her sister and father’s voice finishing that sentence. 

“I’ll figure it out and send the money, ok?” She called out, cutting her sister’s words off completely. “I’m getting an advance from my next book in a couple weeks. Find a couple lawyers, meet with them and get their rates and I’ll pay for it. No one crazy expensive, Ki.” 

She knew lying was wrong but she did not have any other option. She couldn’t tell her family where the money would be really coming from. Michael had a whole list of things for her for the next two weeks before he went on his press tour, which meant she would easily make enough to pay her sister’s legal fees and pass it off as an advance. 

“This is me and Jay’s lives, Raven. It’s not like you don’t have the money or access to itto pay for the best.” 

Raven focused her eyes on the ceiling of the car, a sorry attempt to stop tears of guilt and frustration from falling. She felt a tidal wave of shame hit her knowing Michael was seeing her like this. “Whatever you need. But once my advance money is gone, I’m tapped out for a while. Seriously, Kiara.” 

“Yea yea yea. I gotta go. I’ll call you in two weeks about the lawyer. Bye.”

Raven clenched her phone in her hand with a fist, her entire body turning away from Michael as a small frustrated sob escaped her that she couldn’t quite keep in. She tossed her phone down on the seat and wiped her eyes. 

She had hoped to make it through today, the annual reminder of the worst day of her life, without thinking too much about it. But there her sister was, picking at the threads of her composure, forcing her to unravel. 

The worst part of all of it was she could not even be mad at her sister or her father and how they treated her. She deserved it and she knew it. She had ruined their lives and this was her atonement. So she endured it, every slight, every barb, every wound because she - perhaps foolishly - hoped that if she kept reaching out her hand and kept giving, one day they would reach back and not expect something in it. They would forgive her and she would have a real family again. 

It did not matter how they spoke to her or treated her, she just repeated the same mantra over and over and over again.  

Keep reaching out your hand, she reminded herself as she took a few deep breaths. 

“You good? We can drive around for a bit longer if you need a minute.” 

“Yea, yea.” She sniffled and cleared her throat. “Just stupid family shit. One day we’ll have a date without me crying o-or having a panic attack,” she let out a watery laugh as she forced a smile onto her lips. 

The smile was wide, and Michael knew, to a stranger, it would likely seem authentic and bright. It would certainly be enough to fool everyone at dinner tonight. But he could see its inauthenticity in her eyes, that’s where all of her emotions shown through. And her eyes? They were void of even the minuscule amounts of light and joy he typically saw and that were present moments before that phone rang. Now, she just looked torn down. And this version of her did not have enough energy to do more than put on that facade and pray no one looked too closely. But when it came to Raven, Michael always looked too closely… and he knew that was the problem. 

Michael slumped back in his seat for a few moments, the wheels turning in his mind as he studied her. He knew he could continue with their plan for the night, that she would play her part and play it well. However, he could not, in good faith, allow that. All their dates thus far had been about him. She deserved for the one day to celebrate her to be all about her. He pulled out his phone and went to Google. After a few minutes of searching, he closed that and opened his call log. 

“Hey Coog.” His voice filled the car, Raven glancing over to him as she continued trying to reign in her emotions so she could play her part.  “My bad, man but we ain’t gon’ make it tonight. Send my apologies to the rest of the team and your wife.”

Raven’s head whipped to the side as she listened to his words. She could hear the faint accent of Ryan Coogler asking if everything was ok. She immediately turned to him and threw an expression at Michael before mouthing, “What are you doing??” 

Michael merely winked at her before answering Ryan. “Yea yea. Just somethin’ came up I gotta take care of.” Michael chuckled. “Aight, ‘preciate you, brah. I’ll make it up to you. Talk to you later.” 

As soon as he hung up the phone, Raven immediately spoke up. “What was that? Why aren’t we going to dinner?” 

Michael ignored her and directed his next statement to Allen. “New plan, Allen. Just sent you the address.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

He continued to avoid her confused and wide eyes. He could not sit at a dinner party, regardless of how fun it was going to be to see the entire cast, knowing Raven was in pain. And even if he did not know or understand the extent of it, he could empathize and recognize she needed a night of someone caring for her, not the other way around. 

“Where are we going?” 

“You’ll see.” 

When Allen finally stopped, Michael helped Raven out and handed one of the cards out of his wallet to Allen, whispering something in his ear that Raven could not hear. With that, Allen sped off, leaving the two behind. Michael placed his hand on the small of Raven’s back and directed her down the block. 

“What about your dinner party?” 

“That nigga hosts a dinner party for everythin’. My role in the movie ain’t that big. Just settin’ up future shit so they won’t miss me. He’ll host another after the premiere next month and at the end of the award season if it gets nominated. Trust me, we ain’t missing shit.” 

“But you’re paying me to go to work events with you?” Raven hated that once again, he felt the need to cater to her and her emotions. “I don’t need to be coddled. O-or for you to rearrange shit to celebrate a day I don’t even want to celebrate. You’re paying me to do a job, let me do it.” 

“Yea and now I’m paying you to have a relaxin’ evening with me. This’ll be more fun anyway. We can still pretend it ain’t your birthday if you want.” 

“Relaxing… at a rage room?” She glanced up and gestured toward the sign outside of the building they were standing in front of. It was quiet, no one but a front desk attendant gawking at them. But she was not surprised it was quiet for a Wednesday night. 

“You tellin’ me you don’t have some rage you wanna exercise a bit, ma?”

She chewed on her lip, she had more than enough rage to get out, but she needed to fix that on her own time, not his. “I do… we all do, I’m sure but… then you shouldn’t pay me for the night. This isn’t work. You’re just doing this to make me feel better and I’m good. We really should go to that party. You can’t just blow off work obligations because your fake girlfriend’s having a bad day.”

Michael closed the distance between them and used his fingers to pry her lip out from between her teeth. He wanted to smile at how she rolled her eyes and pouted a bit, clearly resisting the urge to draw her lip back where it was.  

“You aren’t ‘good.’ I don’t know you that well but I do know that much. Just because this ain’t real doesn’t mean I want to watch you suffer on the one day of the year that’s supposed to be about you. A dinner party isn’t what you need. You need fun, seems like you get little of that shit anyway. So since I’m payin’ for your time, I’m tellin’ you not to worry about my shit. And I’m tellin’ you that your only job today is to have fun. And I don’t like having my money wasted, baby girl.” His voice dropped to his commanding tone, a tone that let her know he’d pull out the flogger again if she did waste his time. 

She rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Fine. But this really isn’t necessary.” 

“It’s my money. Let me decide what’s necessary and what’s not. Now come on.” He pulled her in the door, using his award winning smile to get them into the largest room that was clearly meant for more than two people. 

The attendant got them set up in their protective gear and closed the door behind them, locking them in the room for an hour. 

“So what do we do?” Raven muttered as she glanced around, quietly giggling at their absurd bee-keeper style gear. The room was filled with breakable items, bats and golf clubs and other makeshift weapons. There were holes in the walls and punching bags and dummies and stacks of plates. 

He picked up a vase and chucked it at the wall, the glass shattering against the wall. Then he picked up another one and handed it to her. 

His hand pressed into her chest, right above her heart. “Every negative thing you feel in here? Destroy everythin’ in this room til it doesn’t feel like you’re drownin’ in it.” 

She grabbed the vase from his hand and held it for a moment before she threw it as hard as she could at the same spot on the wall. Lacking his strength, it did not make it to the wall but she did enjoy the rush of adrenaline and satisfying crash it made as it shattered to the ground.  She did not even need further prompting as she picked up the discarded baseball bat near her and started using it to break everything she could see that was breakable. 

Michael spent most of the hour cheering her on as she released every bit of pent up frustration and anger and pain and shame she felt. She was so tightly wound all of the time, never letting any of it show so she could never let any of it go. But this was a cathartic release that she did not even know she needed. She knew she would feel it all again tomorrow but every crash, every piece of glass shattered, every dent she made into the walls of that room felt like a small bit of everything she kept in started to vanish piece by piece.

By the time the buzzer rang, signaling the end of their session, she was exhausted, her arms tired but she had never felt lighter. 

“That was…” she breathed heavily as they walked out toward Michael’s SUV. “Amazing. I didn’t know I needed that. Thank you.” 

“See? You gotta trust me more, baby girl. I know more than just what your body needs.” He winked at her as he closed the door behind him. “And now, we have one more stop.” 

They spent the entire drive recapping their favorite things to break in the rage room, which “weapons” caused the most damage. 

“Remind me never to piss you off,” Michael joked as Allen pulled off onto an overlook. 

“What do you mean??” 

“You were downright terrifyin’ with that damn bat. Can’t have you goin’ all Jazmine Sullivan or Carrie Underwood on my car.” 

“Whatchu know about Before He Cheats?” 

He let out a barking laugh. “Enough to know niggas go up for that song, me included.” He admitted. “But if you try to sell that to a gossip site, I’ll deny it.” 

“Wow, learning something new about you every day. And please, I’m sure there are more effective ways to hurt you if you pissed me off,” she teased. “You’d have a new car before I even finished taking a bat to the old one.”

“You might be right about that.”

“Where are we?” She asked as Michael helped her out of the car and she followed him around to the back of the SUV. He opened the trunk and laid out a picnic blanket and soft pillows that Allen had purchased while they were raging and jogged up to the front to grab the box of Prince St. Pizza that had made Raven’s stomach growl the entire ride and a bottle of white wine. 

“Overlook by the Hollywood sign. Perfect view of the city with my favorite white wine and favorite pizza.”

Raven smiled as he helped her climb into the back of the SUV, both of them leaning on the back as they looked out over the city. The silence was comforting, both of them eating their way through the giant pepperoni pizza and several glasses of wine. When they finished one bottle, Allen just produced another from the front seat and handed it back to them. 

“Thank you… for tonight,” Raven smiled as he poured her another glass of wine. “I… did really need this. And you didn’t have to.” 

“Don’t mention it. Seemed like you needed this more than I needed a dinner party.” He paused. “So your sister… did she even say happy birthday to you?” 

Raven let out a cold laugh as she took a long sip from her glass. “Nope. But I didn’t expect her to. Told you,” she whispered as her fingers played with the strings on the edge of their blanket. “Just another day. 

“So that’s why you don’t celebrate your birthday? Your mom?” At her startled expression, he shrugged apologetically. “I didn’t hear everythin’ but your sister was talkin’ loud as fuck toward the end. When’d she die?”

Raven sighed. “She died in labor. Had some condition, doctors told her no more kids… she got pregnant by accident. My dad wanted her to have an abortion, she refused. She gave birth and died a couple hours later.”  

“I’m sorry,” he offered quietly, his hand rubbing her thigh. He had tuned out most of their conversation, not wanting to eavesdrop. But the moment he heard frustration and pain in Raven’s voice, he could no longer block it out. He heard every word her sister hurled at her and he hated that they treated her so callously. “And they blame you?” 

She wiped her tears for a moment before muttering. “I blame me.” 

“You were a baby, didn’t ask to be born. How is her choice your fault?” Michael reasoned, hating that she blamed herself for something so out of her control. But he also knew grief was not the most logical of emotions, particularly grief as deep seeded as this.

“My dad could barely look at me as a kid, wanted nothing to do with me beyond keeping me clothed and fed. The only person who didn’t blame me was my grandma, she basically raised me until she passed when I was in middle school. And I get it,” her voice broke slightly with her grief. “If it weren’t for me, my dad would still have his wife and my sister would have a mom. So yea… I was born and she died for that… not much worth celebrating in my book… or anyone’s really.” Her voice trailed off to a soft whisper before she shook her head and rolled her shoulders back as if she could shake out the negative emotions. “But you didn’t bring me to this gorgeous spot to trade childhood trauma. Thank you for helping me take my mind off all that for a bit.” He could tell by her tone that she did not want to discuss it anymore. “I don’t know why you’re so nice to me,” she mumbled as she took another bite of pizza. 

He wrinkled his nose. “Am I not supposed to be?”

“No, no. I just… still waiting for you to be what I’d thought you’d be, I guess. What Tasha warned me you’d be.” 

“And what was that?” 

“An asshole,” she answered bluntly, Michael chuckling as he bowed his head. 

“I am… an asshole,” he admitted. “I’ll never deny that. Couple bad decisions after a bad break up and Hollywood bad boy became the image so I leaned into it. Self-centered, arrogant, cold… Aside from my family, that’s the version of me people see.” 

“But that’s not you.” 

He raised an eyebrow. “How you know? We just met a month ago.” 

She examined him with a soft smile before sitting up a bit straighter. “Because a self centered, arrogant asshole doesn’t do half the things you’ve done for me. You don’t treat me like a body or a business transaction. You treat me like… a friend? Even when you have no reason to. You may be a jerk but hell, plenty of niggas are jerks. You may even be a little selfish, not shocking when the world caters to you. But I think the real you is kind and thoughtful. I don’t know why you don’t want to show the world the side of you I see.” 

“Cause that nigga gets taken advantage of, gets heartbroken.” 

She nodded, she knew more than a thing or two about being taken advantage of. 

“Who was it then?” 

“Hm?” 

“The girl that broke your heart and created this version of you?” 

He let out a humorless chuckle and placed his hand on her knee. “One day, I’ll tell you.” He paused, glancing at her. “I treat you like a friend because I think we are… friends?”

He wanted to be so much more than friends. Every date, every moment with her he realized that more and more. However, if friends was as intimate as their relationship could ever truly be, he would settle for it. Anything, just to have her nearby. 

The small smile on her face turned brighter. “I think we’re friends too.” 

With the declaration of their friendship, both of them laid back against the pillows on their backs so they could stare out of the sunroof at the midnight sky. The sky was so perfectly clear, she could see endless stretches of stars. 

“What made you decide to be a writer?” Michael asked as they laid there. 

“I used to dream of being anywhere but where I was,” she admitted. “Still do most of the time. And when I was a kid, books, particularly fantasy books, were just the one place I could always escape to. Other worlds and lives so vivid so I could leave this one behind for a short while. And they always gave me hope that things could get better, maybe. I wouldn’t get saved by a dazzling prince or whatever. But they made me think things could turn around somehow. But when I was young, so few books had characters who looked like me or were written by women who looked like me.” 

“‘If there’s a book you wanna read, but it hasn’t been written, then you have to write it,’” he quoted the quote she had above her desk in her room. 

“Exactly.” 

“Why’d you stop after one book?” 

She clenched her eyes shut. “Didn’t have much of a choice. A… misunderstanding,” she muttered the word bitterly, “with my editor at my publishing house… and they dropped me, wasn’t able to find another. So I got the job at the library to tide me over till I figured shit out.  That was… about a year and a half ago? Haven’t been able to write much since.”

“A misunderstanding?” He repeated, glancing over at her, his question clear even though he did not explicitly ask it. However, when he felt her body shift uncomfortably next to him, he quickly backtracked. She had already rehashed so much that she did not need to tonight, there was no need to unearth anything else. She kept giving him more puzzle pieces but the picture remained a mystery. However, he could tell that it was one that held as much darkness as it did beauty. 

His hand grasped hers and squeezed. “You ain’t gotta tell me. Add it to the one day list?” 

Her eyes were still closed but he felt her squeeze back. “Thanks.” 

Silence fell over them as they laid there. Michael rarely just laid and did nothing like this. It was contemplative and nice, to simply exist beside her. He spent so much time being on, playing a part or an image. But he liked that he did not have to do that with Raven when they were alone. She let him be Bakari… the version of him that was only safe with his family and closest friends. 

“Tonight… I needed it too,” he offered, ending the silent reprieve. “So thank you for indulgin’ me.”

Raven turned and propped her head up on her hand, turning her body to face his profile. He looked different bathed in the moonlight. He was gorgeous, anyone with eyes could see that. But he seemed more youthful to her, his features more relaxed than they typically were when they were on dates. His jaw was relaxed, his lips settled into a smile that was effortless… not his movie star smile, which she had seen enough times to recognize the nuances that signaled its inauthenticity. This one though, his real smile,… it made him heartbreakingly gorgeous.  

“Thank you for caring about me a-and for today. Haven’t had anyone do that in a long time,” she admitted before settling back on her pillows.

He knew she had that void in her life but hearing her admit it out loud broke his heart in places he was not expecting.

“What about right now?” 

“What about right now?” She asked, her tone filled with confusion. 

“Do you wish you were anywhere else but here right now?” He asked.

She tilted her head to glance at him, finding his eyes trained on her and not on the sky above. She let out a deep breath as she studied him. 

“No, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” 

He smiled. “Good.”  

They turned back toward the sunroof, content smiles on both of their faces. They did not talk much beyond that, both of them enjoying the silence and each other’s company. 

She did not even know how much time had passed when something finally broke that precious silence, the buzzing of Michael’s phone. Instinctively, she glanced over and caught a glimpse of his bright screen. Tasha’s name scrolled across, Michael sighing a bit as he sent the call to voicemail. 

Suddenly, Raven felt overwhelmed with discomfort. He was still seeing Tasha… why did that upset her so much? He had never promised not to, at least not to her. So she knew she had no reason to be mad. But she could stop the claws of jealousy from sinking their talons into her heart and soul. And when that subsided, all she felt was inadequacy. Another moment where she was not enough for someone. 

She cleared her throat. “It’s… um kinda late?” she glanced down at her watch before sitting up and sliding out of the back of the car. “L-Looks like you’ve got plans?” She tried to hide the bitterness in her voice but she knew she failed, knew Michael could see all of it.  

Michael shook his head. “Nah, it’s not wh-” 

Raven cut him off. “I have an early shift tomorrow… would hate to oversleep. Mind taking me home?” She did not know why she lied, her shift was not until noon. However, she knew it was an excuse he could not argue with. 

Raven started to walk around to the car door when she felt Michael’s grip around her arm, halting her movements. Michael hated that she saw that. Similar to her, but for entirely different reasons, he had been dodging Tasha’s calls like they were the plague. Usually he reached out to her to set up dates but when two weeks passed with radio silence from her best and most frequent customer, she started calling more often. He met up with her once, an act he regretted the morning after when he woke up. But she had promised discretion, if anyone knew how much of a farce he and Raven’s relationship was, it was Tasha. But he did not even enjoy it in the same way, he felt like he was just going through the motions. So when she reached back out earlier that week to set up another date, he ignored it. And ignored all the subsequent messages. He could not avoid her forever, but he knew he needed to put her on pause until Raven was out of his life and out of his system. While he was drugged up on her, no other fix was as worthy or quite as right. 

But he did not know how to explain that to Raven. He had not promised her exclusivity but it had most certainly been implied. He would not be pleased if he found out another man she had fucked was calling her.

“Tasha and I aren’t…” he started to say but Raven pressed her hand to his chest to stop him. 

“You don’t gotta lie to me. You’re allowed to sleep with other women, Michael. This isn’t real, we’re just friends at the end of the day. All good. I’m really tired though and need to get up early.” 

With that, she gently maneuvered her arm out of his grasp and slid into her seat in the car. She was thankful with every passing mile that took her closer to her apartment and out of his presence. She did not have a right to be upset but she could not change the fact that she was. She enjoyed being his only and she wasn’t, and she was wholly unprepared for how that would make her feel. But that’s what she got, for thinking his feelings for her extended past their business relationship. He was kind but she had signed up to be used and he was getting what he wanted. She had to accept that. 

“Thanks for the ride, Allen,” she said as she opened the door. She fixed her face and offered him a smile that was a bit forced but, despite the end to the night, still was partially genuine. “Thanks for tonight, seriously. I had fun.” His phone buzzed again, causing her to grimace. “And have fun with Tasha. Night, Michael.” She did not let him respond before she let the car door slam shut and she raced inside as fast her legs in her heels could carry her. 

Michael groaned, his head thudding back against the headrest as he looked at his phone screen. 

“I fucked that up, didn’t I?” 

“Wasn’t your shining moment with her, sir.” 

He clenched his hand into a fist before answering the phone. He never wanted to see that look on Raven’s face again and truthfully, he did not care to frequent Tasha anymore. He knew Raven and he had a shelf life that would expire but even when it did, he was not sure he could go back to fucking Tasha like Raven never existed. She had infiltrated every aspect of his being in the last two week and tonight had only made him fall deeper for her, made him want to give her everything she did not have. It was strange to feel this emotion again, to long for someone like he did her. Even if it could not be something long term, he wanted to savor it while he had her. 

But that was not something he was truly ready to admit to himself, let alone to Tasha. So he decided to take the easy road out and blame it on something else: the image and his manager. Tasha would have to respect that, right? And he would spin some lie about seeing her after Raven and he broke up, even though he was not sure if he had the desire for dispassionate, unattached sex in him anymore. 

“Hey Tash,” he muttered coldly into the phone. 

“Hey baby… wanted to see if you wanted to meet up tonight? I miss you,” her voice was sultry and inviting, a voice that, once upon a time, would have had him racing through LA to get to a hotel with her. But today, it did nothing. “And a little birdie told me you were headed to Paris in two weeks for press. Should I pack a bag?” 

Michael rolled his eyes. That was his own fault. He flew her out once last year to Cannes Film Festival and now she thought she was invited on every trip. There was only one person he wanted to take on this trip with him and after tonight, he was not even sure she’d say yes. 

“Yea… listen Tash. You know how I feel about you. But I can’t see you anymore… just for a few months.” 

“What?? Why?” 

He rolled his eyes, she knew why. “Well, you know… I got this relationship with Raven that is really important for my career and I can’t be seen with other women. We’re gonna have an amicable split in a few months and then I’m all yours again. But until then, we gotta keep our distance.” 

He could hear the frustration and bitterness in her voice, though she tried and failed to hide it. “You’re my best customer, Michael. You can’t just… drop me outta nowhere.” 

“It’s just temporary. Just a couple months. And I’ll send you some money to tide you over till you get a new client. Also means no Paris. Sorry, I just really gotta focus on cleaning up the image over the next few months. You understand, don’t you? You know you’ll always be my favorite girl.”

There was a long pause that made Michael check to ensure the call had not been disconnected. 

“Yea I understand. Just a few months though, right? Then you’re droppin’ the new girl?” 

Michael rolled his eyes before nodding, though she could not see him. “Of course, baby. Just a couple months and then she’s gone. Promise.” 

They shared a few pleasantries before Michael hung up and prayed she did not call him again for a while. His fingers itched to text or call Raven and explain. But something stopped him, the part of him that still adamantly rejected his feelings toward her roaring. He did not owe her an explanation, he did not owe her anything but the money he paid for her dates. She did not ask for an explanation either so why would he volunteer one? Those two parts of him battled until he threw his phone to the side in frustration. 

He sighed and took a deep breath as Allen pulled up in front of his family home in the hills, his oasis, Raven’s perfume still lingering in the car… that hint of lavender danced on his nose. He fell asleep with that phantom smell haunting him, Raven finding ways to pop up in every dream he had that night, leaving him no escape from her or his feelings for her. 

***

“Here you go.” Michael handed her an envelope filled with cash. “I’ll be gone by the time you wake up.” 

Raven nodded and stored it in her overnight bag before grabbing her clutch. They were finally alone after being poked and prodded all afternoon by his stylist and glam teams to get ready for the premiere. They had ten minutes before the car would be there to take them. And then Michael would be jetting off at an ungodly hour to New York and then Paris for press. Raven was actually a bit sad to see him go. 

Though they never discussed the Tasha debacle from her birthday two weeks prior, she and Michael were slowly but surely getting closer and closer each day. They had had an event or something to go to almost every night, Raven was shocked at the amount of money she had been able to make in such a short window of time. Even helping her sister with her lawyer, she felt as if she could actually breathe easy for the first time in a while. And on the nights they were not together, they generally texted or talked on the phone at some point. They hadn’t had sex again, Raven finding any and all excuses to avoid that since he was still seeing Tasha. He never pushed or seemed angry, albeit a bit disappointed when every date ended with her asking Allen to take her home. It was petty she knew it but she did not care. She had no interest in competing with Tasha, she knew who would win every time. 

“Thanks.” 

“You sure you’re gonna be good while I’m gone?” 

Raven glanced at him and rolled her eyes as she threw her lipstick in her clutch. She did not quite understand how the small bag was even functional, it did not even fit her ID. But Michael’s stylist said it fit the look so she did not question it. “Don’t flatter yourself, Mr. Jordan. I’ll be just fine without you for a few weeks.” 

Michael came up behind her and laughed. “You ain’t gotta pretend like you ain’t gon’ miss me, baby girl. I mean… you know, financially. I’m in New York for a week then Paris for a week. That’s a while without dates. I can slide you some extra if you need it.” 

Raven bristled at the idea, she did not want him to view her as a charity case. 

“No,” she responded shortly, immediately regretting the sharp edge in her tone as his face fell. “S-Sorry. No, thank you but I’m good.” 

“Even after your sister’s legal shit or whatever?” 

She let out a small huff. “Yea… she managed to pick the most expensive lawyer below the damn Mason Dixon line but I got it covered, I think. And with this,” she gestured toward her bag. “I’m good on the other stuff too. Seriously, you shouldn’t worry yourself about my finances. I always figure it out.”  

He grabbed her wrist to stop her from walking away from him.

“It ain't charity or worry. Don’t want you stressin’ and shit while I’m gone. And I like to know my friends and everyone on my team are good. You’re both… why would I treat you any differently?” 

“I just don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me. Or fix my problems.”

“You’re here fixin’ my problems. I can’t  return the favor?”

“Because… that’s not what we agreed to. This is a job, you pay me… we go out. That’s it. My family shit has no part in this and isn’t your concern. I’ll deal with them.” 

“Why do you?” At her raised eyebrow, he added, “Deal with that?” 

“You don’t give up on your family. You reach out your hand even when they swat it away. And one day, they’ll see all I’ve done for them and how much I love them and they’ll come around.” 

“Seems to me that you let them bleed you dry as if it’ll pay whatever debt you think you owe them. And they seem content with lettin’ you bleed out in the street.” 

She chuckled mirthlessly. “They’re all I got… so I don’t have much of a choice. It’ll pay off. All of it,” she forced more conviction in her voice. “One day.” 

“You really believe that?” 

She turned to look at him. He could tell there was genuine hope in her eyes, true belief that things would get better. A dreamer, indeed. 

“Yea… I have to.” 

“I dunno... There’s gotta be better out there for you… you certainly deserve better.” There was a not-so-small part of him, a part that grew with every moment he spent with her, that desperately wanted to be that more for her. 

“This world is filled with people who deserve better, Michael. But we’re stuck with the hand we’re dealt until better comes along. And I don’t see any better hands coming my way. Just a long game of this shitty hand,” she whispered the last part under her breath as she checked herself in the mirror once more. She grabbed her clutch and started toward the door. “You ready? Car should be here, right?” 

He hated how resigned she was to her fate and treatment. He had more than enough money to give his family and friends, more than enough for them to take advantage of if they chose and none of them did. Raven had none of that and still gave her last to people that clearly did not appreciate it. And to know, she had every intention of doing it under some misguided belief they would thank her for it later broke his heart. It reminded him of how pure and kind-hearted she was but he knew her efforts would likely be wasted. But he would have loved to be proven wrong. 

He did not know her family so he knew it was wrong to judge them but all he felt was red hot anger. Quite frankly, the only benefit he saw to the reality that this arrangement was fake was that he would not have to meet her family himself. He did not know if he could even sit in the same room with them. 

“Before we go… got somethin’ for you.”

Raven raised an eyebrow, “I don’t need a gift. It’s your special night.” 

“Yea but wanted to give you somethin’ to remember me by. It benefits both of us, don’t worry.” His face was a sly smirk that told her the gift was not a normal one. “But first, Tasha and I aren’t hookin’ up anymore.” 

“Michael… you don’t have to…” 

He shook his head and interrupted her. “Nope. You didn’t let me finish that night and you’ve been weird about it ever since. So now, I’m talkin’ and you’re gonna listen. It’s ok to be annoyed. We should be exclusive. I called her and put that shit on pause until our arrangement is done. We’ve only hooked up once since we started dating and it was early on. But either way, you don’t gotta worry about her callin’ or me seein’ her while I’m with you. I got my hands full with you anyway,” he winked at her. 

Raven tried to limit the smile that wanted to blossom at his words. She was happy to hear she was not “competing” with Tasha as she thought. It was a narrative her own insecurities and anxieties created and fueled, a narrative that now seemed foolish. She still did not know why it mattered so much to her. Or rather, she knew, but she would never admit it out loud. 

“So we’re good?” 

“Y-Yea we’re good. Wasn’t worried,” she lied, trying to make her voice sound aloof and unbothered. She did not know why she bothered, she supposed she did not want her pride to be anymore damaged than it already was. 

Michael merely pursed his lips and chuckled before nodding toward the bed. “So you ready to be my slut again or am I still on pause?” 

Raven smiled. “I’m all yours.” 

“Good. Lay down for me, panties to the side.” 

Raven laid back on the bed, hiking up her dress to her waist so she could part her legs. She pulled her thong to the side, Michael licking his lips as he took in the mess between her thighs. 

“Already so wet for me. You missed me too, huh? This is gonna be fun,” he muttered to himself as he pulled a gold vibrator out of his pocket before sitting on the bed beside her, careful not to ruffle his perfectly-tailored tuxedo. 

He wasted no time sliding the vibrator inside her, Raven moaning lightly at the intrusion, the way his finger brushed against her clit. She wanted more, desperately. Her hips rolled to find his touch, his hand, her body begging for more action. But he denied her. His other hand fiddled with something small that looked like a remote control. 

“Know what this is?” 

“No, sir.” 

“It’s the controller. Tonight, you’re gonna keep that in you and I’m gonna have a little fun with this.” 

Raven let out a shaky breath. “Y-You expect me to keep this in… while we’re at a movie premiere? No way.” 

He nodded, a mischievous grin in his eye. “I recall you wanting to explore some fantasies. You tellin’ me sex in public ain’t one you’ve had?” 

She bit her lip as she contemplated it. The idea was certainly an intriguing one… but the risks?? 

“When would you use that?” 

“Whenever I want. That’s the fun part… for me anyway. And you’re gonna spend the night making sure that sexy ass face when you cum isn’t plastered across TMZ tomorrow.” 

Raven shook her head. “I dunno, Michael. I’m all for risk but this seems insane.” 

He let out an exaggerated sigh, his voice playful and teasing. “I thought you’d be up for it, thought you wanted to have fun but I understand if you’re too scared.” 

She heard the challenge in his voice. He was testing her, trying to see if she was really up for anything. She could not deny that the idea was intriguing. Having her orgasms at his mercy in public? Per usual with him, she knew she could say no. But as she ran over the risks, all she could think of was the thrill of it. She wanted it. She hated that she wanted it and hated that he knew she wanted it. But she did. 

She sat up and swung her legs off the bed. She clenched her muscles to ensure the new addition to her ensemble stayed tucked where it needed to be and she shimmied the delicate fabric of her gown back down to its proper place. 

“Car’s waiting,” she offered with a smirk as she grabbed her purse and walked out of his bedroom, deciding then and there that she would win whatever game he was playing tonight, and would show him that she was indeed up for any and everything. 

Michael watched her ass sway as she exited and smiled. 

“Gonna have a lot of fun with this.” 

***

Raven was so overwhelmed by the screaming fans and reporters and flashing lights that she almost forgot about the “gift” nestled in her core. She kept her smile bright as she and Michael started down the red carpet, his arm tightly wrapped around her waist. 

He looked down at her like the perfect image of a doting boyfriend, with love and protection in his eyes. He played the role so well, Raven almost caught herself falling for the act. But she supposed that was a good thing because it made her glances back at him more genuine. She knew they looked like the picture perfect couple, every gossip site raved about them after every date. She knew tonight would be no different. 

She was so focused on keeping her smile intact and her eyes from blinking too much as they stood on the red carpet that she failed to notice Michael slip his hand into his pocket. Her smile faltered for just a second as she felt the device come alive, sending shock waves directly against her g-spot. It was a steady soft buzz, just enough to make her feel it, causing the heat to rise throughout her body. But it was not enough to overwhelm her.  

Once she got over the initial surprise of the vibration, she was able to recompose herself with ease. She played off the change in her expression by adjusting something on her dress and continued posing with him.

Minutes passed and the vibration continued at its low pace, Raven enjoying the small jolts of pleasure. This was what she was supposed to be worried about? This was a piece of cake.

She leaned in and kissed him softly on the cheek before turning her head from the cameras and whispering in his ear, “This is easier than I thought it’d be.”

Michael let out a deep laugh as if she had told a funny joke and pecked her sweetly on the nose, continuing their slow march down the carpet. 

Raven genuinely felt like she could deal with that all night as she listened to Michael give an interview. She remained tucked at his side with a smile on her face. The interviewer did not really ask her any questions, thank God. So she just smiled and concentrated on keeping her thighs together. 

“So Raven, I have to say, you look gorgeous. Who are you wearing?” 

“Th-” her words were cut short as the vibration pattern changed, this time a long vibration that steady increased before pulsing against her g-spot and starting over again. She coughed awkwardly, pretending as if she had swallowed wrong before saying. “T-thanks. V-versace.” 

Her answer was clipped and short, afraid her words would betray her if she opened her mouth. This was far different, this was ecstasy. Each vibration felt like the slowest, most tantalizing march up a mountain before someone pushed her back toward the bottom to do it all over again. And that pulse at the top? It sent a shockwave through her that made her see stars. Each time, she felt her fingers grip the fabric of Michael’s tuxedo jacket harder. The longer it droned on, the more her legs started to shake. 

“You ok, baby?” he asked sweetly, kissing her on the cheek innocently. 

“Y-Yea, of course.” 

“You two are so cute. Thanks for chatting with me and I can’t wait to see the film.” 

Michael said his goodbyes to the interviewer before guiding Raven away. 

“What’s harder?” he whispered in her ear as they walked inside the venue. He stopped her in the corner of the giant atrium before they walked into the screening room and tucked her against a wall in a corner. Only official photographers were allowed at this point. To anyone passing by, they just looked like a couple having a sweet moment.

“W-what?” She found even such a simple word laborious to get out and it sounded more like a moan than a word. With him mostly covering her body from view, she could not stop the way her hips rolled as the setting changed again. The pattern was the same but the cycle was faster, the intensity overwhelming as he  increased it to the next setting. 

“What’s harder?” he leaned in and whispered in her ear so lowly she almost could not hear her. “Keepin’ that pretty smile on your face when all you wanna do is close your eyes and bite your lip while you cum? Hidin’ your moans so no one here knows you’re a loud filthy slut? Or stoppin’ yourself from beggin’ me to fuck you in the bathroom over there?” 

She felt as if her entire body was in a frenzy. It was not just the vibrator, it was his hands gently pressing her to the wall innocently, it was the courses of people walking by them having no clue that she was on the cusp of the greatest pleasure of her life, it was that she could not stop it or him if he decided he wanted her to cum right then and there in front of everyone. 

“A-all… of it,” she whispered, her face burying itself in the nook of his neck, which helped hide the pleasure swimming in her eyes but only increased it as she took in his scent. His signature cologne had become intoxicating to her. 

“You wanna cum for daddy, baby?” His words were a light whisper that they knew could not be heard over the conversations and music playing throughout the hallway. 

It was taking everything in her not to collapse in front of him, his arm around her waist was the only thing keeping her standing. Her legs were pure jello, every inch of her body was on fire, boiling with pleasure and humiliation at being brought to orgasm at the nicest event she’d ever been to in her life. All she wanted to do was cum but she did not trust herself to hide it. 

“P-Please…” she whispered. She did not know if that please was to stop or to keep going. 

Michael smirked as he felt her hips buck against his again. She was so close, he could see it in her eyes, feel it in the way her hips ground against nothing but air. It was subtle, not obvious to anyone else from the angle they stood at but he could feel it. 

“Beg.” He demanded. 

She clenched her eyes closed. All she wanted was to fall over this particular edge, right then and right now. She was so close, so close, it was almost agonizing to hold it in until he gave her permission. She glanced down as his finger hovered over the button to increase the setting again, knowing that she could not will him to hit that button. She would have to give him exactly what he wanted, what he always wanted. Submission. 

“P-Please… m-make me cum,” she muttered in his ear. “I-I need… it… p-please.” Tears stung in her eyes as she struggled to fight the urge to let go right then and there, hearing her own needy voice in the space. 

“Hm.” he offered quietly. “I don’t think you deserve it.” And with that, the vibration stopped completely. 

Raven could not stop the groan that escaped her lips as he stole her orgasm, her body screaming and protesting at her in pain at the sudden loss of pleasure. 

She let out a soft gasp as she glanced up at him. “You mother-” 

He leaned forward and kissed her deeply, completely silencing her. Raven’s entire body fell into his as they kissed, she could hear the soft snapping of a camera nearby on her right side. 

He offered her the sweetest smile before leaning to her left so the camera could not catch what he was saying.

“If you wanna cum at all tonight, I wouldn’t finish that sentence.” He straightened up and pressed his lips to her forehead, his arm still around her waist. His voice returned to a normal volume as he fixed her hair and ran his hand over the front of her dress. He looked like he was helping her adjust herself but he also wanted to make sure there was no evidence of their crimes. “It’s time for us to go to our seats. You ready?” 

Raven felt like she had whiplash from the last 5 minutes. He was good, far better than she gave him credit for at these games. She thought this was just going to be a fun experiment. But Michael never did anything small. And she was foolish to underestimate him. 24 hours ago, she would have never thought she would enjoy something like this. But now? She could play this game all night long, even though she was losing miserably. 

She peeled herself off the wall, her own hands running against the bodice of her dress. Her legs still felt a bit wobbly so she wrapped her arm in Michael’s to steady herself. She nodded and allowed him to lead her into the theater. 

She barely paid attention to the movie as she spent the entire two hours watching Michael like a hawk. Every time he shifted in his seat or moved one of his hands, she wondered if he was going to turn the vibrator back on. Halfway through the film, she realized it was not because she was dreading it. She wanted him to. She was internally willing him to turn the stupid thing back on, even if it was only at its lowest setting. Because even at the lowest setting, she knew she was sensitive enough to get where she wanted to be. She wanted to feel the tidal wave of pleasure, she wanted to drown in and bask in it and feel the adrenaline of doing so in public. Besides, the dark theater seemed like the perfect time if he truly wanted to push her completely over the edge. When she wasn’t praying to God that he would turn it on, she was wishing it was his fingers or his dick filling her and not a toy. 

She needed him so bad and truth be told, would have begged him to fuck her right then and there if they weren’t surrounded by hundreds of people. 

However, nothing happened. He paid her no attention throughout the entire film except for the hand that rested on her thigh. The minutes ticked on and on and on as the cast went up on stage to say a few words when the film ended. By the time they finally finished and were in the car to the afterparty, she was a horny, disgruntled mess. 

She kept her eyes trained on the window, even though it was tinted, when she felt Michael slide into the seat next to her. Two could play the ignoring game, she decided. 

His hand slid into the slit of her dress, pushing the expensive material to the side so he could have full access. When she did not part her legs for him immediately, he let out a disgruntled growl that was meant to be a command. She pretended she did not hear him and ignored it. 

He merely shook his head and laughed. “Aight, baby girl.” He pushed her knees apart with his hands, it took everything in her not to moan and keep her face stoic. 

His fingers immediately slid into her panties, the heat of her arousal hiting his skin before he even made contact with her body. He caressed soft circles into her clit. She gave him nothing, no moans, no humping into his hand. Nothing. So he upped the ante and turned the device on to the highest setting it had available. 

“Fuck!” She cried out, unable to keep it in as her body was assaulted with pleasure. The vibrator was more than enough to make her cum but adding his thumb against her clit was just simply unfair in her opinion. 

His free hand grasped her chin, firmly but loose enough that it was not painful and forced her eyes on him. Her breathing was heavy as she felt pleasure building fast in her core. Tears pricked her eyes, not from pain, but overwhelming, soul shattering pleasure, “You wanted me to make you cum in that theater, didn't you? In front of all those people like the filthy whore you are? Didn’t you? Upset that I ignored you? But guess what, baby girl?” he switched the setting to a lower one to keep her on the cusp of pleasure without sending her over. 

She let out a soft sob of agony as he held her there, suspended right at the cusp of her orgasm. This was more tortuous than him stopping cold turkey because she was so close she could taste it. And he kept it just out of reach. Every pulse, every caress of his finger was so much and overwhelming but still was not enough. And there was nothing she could do to force him to give her more. 

“Your body is mine, your pleasure is mine. And I decide when to fuck you, when you cum, when you suck my dick… I decide when you’ve been good… when you’ve been bad and what to do about it. It’s all mine. You can ignore me all you want but see how quickly you fell apart? You can’t win against me, baby girl. Daddy always wins. You understand?” 

She nodded rapidly, her body shaking lightly as she teetered on the edge, pleasure was consuming her every cell. She could barely think of anything but the raging inferno in her core.  “I-I understand. P-Please…” her voice broke. She felt as if she would quite literally perish if she did not come soon. He had never kept her on edge this long, a few seconds sure. But time was stretching into minutes. 

“You think you deserve it?” 

She didn’t deserve it, she knew the answer he wanted. “N-No, no… I’ve b-been bad, a bad girl. I d-deserve to be punished b-but I’m begging you… l-let me cum. I c-can’t… P-please,” her voice begged him for mercy. 

Deciding that she would pass out if he continued this game any farther, he pressed the button to return it to its highest setting. Her scream was nearly inaudible as she came on his fingers, her body shook as she gripped the door handle, shuddering through an intense orgasm. 

“That’s it, cum for me,” he whispered in her ear. “That’s a good girl…” 

“Thank you, t-thank you,” she babbled back to him as he talked her through her orgasm. He turned the vibrator off completely, finally giving her a break. 

“Allen, circle the block a few times.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

At the sound of Allen’s voice, Raven’s eyes flew open and shock and humiliation set in. She had just cum… with another person in the car. And she had completely forgotten he was there. Once Michael had started going, the presence of another human being in their vicinity had completely vanished. She glanced up, surprised to find the limo divider up. She didn't even know when that happened. However, she knew that that barrier was not sound proof. However, instead of being utterly turned off by that idea, it just turned her on more. 

“You like knowing Allen heard you?” Michael whispered in her ear. 

“No,” she shot back as she fixed her dress and used the compact mirror she had stored in the limo before the premiere to fix her makeup. Thankfully she still looked pristine, despite feeling physically depleted. She did not know how she and Michael went round after round when one orgasm made her want to cuddle up under the covers and fall asleep. 

“I keep tellin’ you how much I hate lies. But you never listen. Might think because we have a long night and I got an early mornin’ that you’ll escape punishment. But you won’t. Means I have a couple weeks to think of the perfect punishment for such… insubordination.” 

“Don't threaten me with a good time,” she offered with a sweet smile and a wink that made him laugh. 

He did not get a chance to retort when Allen pulled up at the venue of the after party. He gave Raven a once over before getting out of the limo and grasping her hand. He longed to bury himself inside her but he knew he did not have time, at least not enough time to satisfy the urges he had. And while he would toy with public sex, this was not the venue or event to be caught fucking in the bathroom, as much as he wanted to. 

No, he supposed he would just deal with cold showers for two weeks until he could fuck her again, and spank her until she begged for mercy. Her pleas had done something to him, sweet music to his ears. The perfect orchestra. And he would use every free moment of the next few weeks to think of ways to get that sound again. 

***

Michael rubbed his eyes as he scrolled through his email. He knew he would sleep well on the plane. He hated the first thing in the morning flights but he knew they were the only way to keep up with his crazy press schedule. 

“We’ve arrived, Mr. Jordan,” Allen called from the front seat, Michael immediately hopping out. Allen grabbed his sea of bags as he waved at his castmates who were also just arriving to the tarmac. 

“Thanks, man. See you when I get back. Make sure Rae gets home ok today, aight? Then enjoy your time off.” 

“Thank you, sir,” Allen responded as he handed off his bags to the baggage attendants who would ensure they made it onto the plane. 

Michael started to walk away and head to the flight when he heard his name behind him. 

“Mr. Jordan!” Allen called after him, causing Michael to turn around. The older man jogged up to him. “A word of advice? If I am not overstepping my bounds?” 

Michael nodded, allowing the man to continue. Allen rarely spoke, he was the type who liked to do his job quietly and fade into the background.  And he preferred to keep it professional with Michael though there were a few topics they could shoot the shit over while in the car like basketball and the like. But Michael knew that meant Allen likely knew more about him than anyone else on this planet, which meant he would have been a fool not to hear him out. 

“Avoiding love and companionship, even when it is right there waiting for you to take it, will never bring you happiness. And some would say such an ill-guided venture was foolish and selfish, particularly when the world is filled with people like Ms. Turner who love and seek out love with their whole souls and it's denied to them at every turn. And you may be a bit selfish, Mr. Jordan,” Allen admitted. “But I never pegged you as foolish.” 

“What’re you sayin’?” 

“I’m saying that it does not matter how this whole thing between the two of you started. It only matters how you end it. And whether you are brave enough to admit to her and yourself that perhaps you don’t want it to end at all.” Allen patted him on the arm before taking a step back. “There’s no reward for loneliness, Mr. Jordan… no Oscar to win for denying yourself more when you know you want it. The only prize those actions will give you is a lifetime of regret. And I believe you’re living a life too bright to have it dimmed by regrets.” he paused. “I hope I have not overstepped too much. But… well, there was a time a decade or two ago when I would’ve liked someone to overstep and tell me that.” 

Michael stared at him for a few moments before he nodded. After his last very public and embarrassing breakup, he vowed never to fall in love again. Years of women warming his bed before he kicked them out before sunrise. He got what he wanted and gave nothing of himself… to any of them. But Raven… from the moment he watched her staring out that window, he gave without even realizing how much he had given. And now, he felt things for her that he had not felt for a woman in so long. Hell, he wondered if he had ever felt this strongly for another person in his entire life. He wanted more… not a contract or a business dealing. He wanted her. Was he being utterly foolish by pretending that was not the case? 

 “You did… overstep.” His tone was a bit cold but he was unsurprised at how Allen did not backtrack or shrink. He said his piece, called him out and was willing to accept whatever the consequences of that were. “But maybe I need more people to do that. Will you do me a couple favors when you go back to the penthouse to pick up Raven?” 

“Anything, sir.” 

***

Raven groaned as she turned over in Michael’s soft bed. She had fallen asleep in his master bedroom alone, as she always did when they slept here. He always took the guest room. She wondered if she should be more sad that they slept separately but she agreed that that was not intimacy either one of them truly needed. She groped around the bed for her phone, groaning when she realized it was already 11 a.m. Thankfully, she had another two hours before her shift but she knew she needed to hurry up so she could get home and change into her real clothes, not the fancy designer ones she kept there. 

She pulled herself out of bed and stretched, part of her sad that Michael opted to go to sleep instead of fucking her. She understood he had an early day but she could not deny that all she wanted was for him to bend her into a pretzel after that orgasm in the car. But last night was, for the most part, strictly work. They did not get home and go to bed until 3 am and he had to get up shortly thereafter to catch his flight. And now she was left with nothing but a vibrator and fantasies of him to occupy her until he returned. But he had succeeded in giving her something to remember him by. She walked into the kitchen to grab a glass of water, rubbing her eyes as she dragged her feet across the hardwood floors.

Michael gave her free reign of his penthouse, even when he was not there. She did not spend the night there often but she had started to learn her way around, figure out where the sparse things he kept there were. A few dishes, a couple glasses, a fridge filled with coconut water and little food. When she slept there, so did he. But she had never really stopped to wonder where he spent the rest of his time. She guessed he had some giant mansion in the hills like every other star. But she wondered if that one was just as cold as this one, just as void of comfort and love, just as sterile. 

She guessed it was not. Otherwise, he would have her come there. No, that one was the sanctuary for the real him, she imagined it was warm and overflowing with his favorite things. Japanese anime artifacts and art and memorabilia and his awards and family photos and all the things that meant something to him. And this one was merely for his image, sterile and artificial. 

She blinked a couple of times, shocked to find a neat and perfectly packaged gift bag waiting on the counter with a long envelope sitting up against it. 

She sucked her teeth and chuckled, “This nigga. I thought I said no gifts,” she muttered to herself as she grabbed a glass of water and sat at the barstool. Part of her contemplated not opening it. What had he even given her a gift for? Her birthday was weeks ago. But her desire to know what he got her won out. 

She went to the envelope first, her name written in handwriting far too nice to be Michael’s on the front. She flipped it over and smiled as the person had written on the back: Open me last :) 

“On the other side of the damn country and still giving commands.” 

And you’re still following them, she imagined his voice shooting back at her as she placed the thick envelope to the side and reached into the bag. She made quick work of discarding the multi-colored gift bag paper to reveal two books. She pulled the first one out. 

“Whoa,” she muttered as she took in a first edition copy of I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. She turned it over in her hands, mouth agape as she studied it. It was beautiful and she knew it cost a pretty penny.  

Her hand reached into the bag and pulled out a book she knew all too well. Her own. An odd gift, she thought, though she supposed it was sweet that he went looking for it in the first place. She wondered how he found it as she published under a pseudonym but she imagined a man with his resources could find out almost anything he wanted with time. 

She flipped it open as she sat back down on her bed, a smaller envelope the size of a card falling out of it. He had stuck it in on the acknowledgements page, which read: From one dreamer to another. 

She opened Michael’s card and took in his handwriting. 

Thank you for sharing what you did with me on your birthday. I know the day isn’t easy. And apologies that this gift was so late - but I figured this was a loophole in the no gifts rule if you got it weeks later? And it took some time to track down your book. You didn’t make it easy. I’m looking forward to reading it on my flight. I generally agree with everything you say but I would disagree with one thing you said that night. The first time we met, you said Maya Angelou’s book saved you and gave you hope. I’m sure somewhere in this world, a young girl is reading your book and it’s doing the same for her. That’s something good that came out of October 15: the world got you. And that’s worth celebrating in my opinion. 

I hope, one day, you see that too.

Happy Birthday

Michael 

Raven let the tears that streamed down her face fall, one of them splashing against the glossy cover of her book. She wiped it away before rereading his card over and over again. She hated how he seemed to see her, really see her, and everything she truly needed. There he was again, caring more than anyone else, more than he should have, even when she was mad at him.  It just made her want him for every reason she shouldn’t. She should want to fuck him… she should want his money… That was all she signed up to get. A few months of cash and to let him dick her down better than she ever had been before. All her problems and loneliness solved, at least temporarily.

Instead, her heart and soul were slipping deep into dangerous territory, he was dangerous territory. She still tried to force herself to resist it, her body hanging by a rope that was fraying at the middle as if an invisible force was taking an ax to it. And she did not know if she wanted to scramble back onto the ledge or let herself fall.

After a few minutes, she picked up the other envelope and slid the folded up pieces of paper out of it. The first one made her gasp… a flight confirmation for a first class ticket to Paris dated for one week from today. The second page was a short list of the things she should pack.  And the third was her hotel confirmation, a suite at a hotel she could not even pronounce but one quick google search let her know it was one of the nicest and most expensive hotels the city had to offer. 

The last page only contained two sentences in Michael’s handwriting. 

I hope you have a passport. See you in one week.

Raven spread the pages out on the counter, her face paralyzed in shock. 

“What the actual fuck?” She examined all of them, rereading as if the information on them would vanish or change right before her eyes. But the flight confirmation had her name on it, the hotel room… her name. It was all there in black and white. He was inviting her to Paris. 

“I should say no…” she spoke to herself, a false ring of conviction in her voice. “I can’t accept this.” Her internal debate raged as she paced up and down by the kitchen island, her eyes studying the papers with each pass. 

You know you want to, the devil on her shoulder reasoned. And fuck, did she want to. It’s fun… when’s the last time we took a trip or did anything fun? 

She had never wanted to accept anything as badly as she wanted to accept this. She chewed on her lip so hard she was surprised she did not draw blood as she debated and debated. Until her phone buzzed with a text from Mr. Surprises himself.

Michael: damn you sleep late as hell. 

Michael: Am I gonna see you in Paris in a week?

Raven: This was a huge gamble… What if I didn’t have a passport? 🤔

Michael: It was a huge gamble but not because of the passport. Consider it PTO… Come live a little. 

Michael: So did my gamble pay off or nah? 

She read through the papers one more time, deciding then and there that she was 100% going to Paris. Even her pride could not allow her to deny herself this experience. However, she decided to make him sweat a little, though she doubted he actually would. 

Raven: I guess you’ll find out in seven days. Thanks for the gift.  

Raven locked her phone before chuckling to herself. She grabbed her phone and the itinerary page and let out an excited squeal and did a happy dance before she raced off to her closet. She had a trip to pack for. 

Tag list: @readinghere2023 @blackerthings @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @physicxal @purplehairgawdess @miyuhpapayuh @rueruesclues @geemamii @certifiedlesbianbaddie @pipsqueak-98 @nyifly22 @destinio1 @twocentaur @gopaperless @musicisme333@roguekiki @majesticbrownjawn @taurusqueen83 @mysteryuz @miamormilan @itsknor-thedeep @naj-ay444 @mads-grace4 @nayaesworld @kholdkill @msniaimani @nccu-rnc

***

A/N: Wellllllllll… a lot happened! A little angst, a little fluff, a little smut lol just gave y'all the full spectrum of things. And it wouldn't be one of my fics if I didn't give you a character or two to despise along the way lol

Next chapter, we go to Paris, which not gonna lie… that wasn't in the OG outline of this haha but inspiration struck and now I'm very excited lol Drop a comment and let me know all your thoughts lol Thanks for reading!

[ariss-ansari]

Warning: this has fast pass spoilers!

Ryan was near sending everything to hell.

Hell, he took this job for the money, for the promises that he would be part of something big that would benefit everyone. LIES. It only benefits the people at the top of the organization. People like him were just simple pawns who were sent to do all the dirty work while the bosses washed their hands and enjoyed the show.

He was hired as a guard, and out of nowhere he was caught between watching a bunch of teenagers and their parents and reporting everything they did to his boss. He can't even sleep!! When was the last time he slept?! Now he looked like a raccoon.

But he felt guilty. They're just kids, why did they get involved in this? What are his boss's plans? Surveillance is one thing, but kidnapping them?... He never felt the need to question orders before, but now he does. Kidnapping those kids was difficult, they also had to take their parents... Ryan knows that one of those kids has a little sister... All of them locked in that god-forsaken facility.

Ryan had seen the experiments before. Damn, he was the one who guarded the door and saw who came in and who came out. They put one of the kidnapped teenagers in that room along with an infected person for analysis and experimentation. If he remembers correctly, that was the girl with the super hearing who almost caught him every time he went to spy on her and her friends.

He got a scare when the door was abruptly opened and one of the nurses in charge of caring for these teenagers came in upset, demanding explanations. Ryan was surprised, no one in the facility had the guts to raise their voice to a superior and question their orders and intentions. He had to hold the nurse, fearing for this person's life. And from the tone of his superior's voice, this lack of respect would be severely punished later.

For a nurse, he had a lot of strength... The elbow he gave him in the ribs to free himself still hurt.

The punishment from the superior never came. The superior and two assistants went to sleep and never woke up, they fell into a coma. This is cause for concern... Now Maverick has his attention set on teenagers, and Ryan knew well what that could do... Maverick just found what he was looking for.

Ryan has to do something, these children are in danger, their families are in danger... Before he would not have acted out of fear of death, but if he didn't do something now... Things would be worse.

Bless his luck that in the middle of the hallway he met the nurse who interrupted in the room. If he warns the nurse about the danger of working with Maverick, the nurse can warn the kids and prevent them from accepting any offer from that man.

The look of hate that the nurse gave him was acceptable, if the roles were reversed, he would feel the same. Unfortunately the nurse didn't know who Maverick was, and Ryan couldn't risk being caught by a worker at the facility.

He had no choice... He had to give the nurse a phone and tell him that he would tell him everything through there.

And as he retreated... He began to feel that sense of fear again. He felt terrified, nervous, you could even say he felt paranoid...

"What did I get myself into...?"

Yep, he definitely just signed his death warrant.

[ragingstillness]

The Boys thoughts 4x5:

Homelander’s conversation with Ryan: felt realistic to his character but also yikes (as always). Acknowledgement of his manipulation of Ryan +1 Acknowledgement of his own trauma +1 Equivalence of his experience as a deeply privileged white man to slavery -100

Ryan getting the PA to slap the Snyder parody: one of those delightful moments that The Boys does so well where I feel both positive and negative emotions about it. Do I think the Snyder dude deserved to be slapped by his PA? Absolutely. Do I think it’s a good thing that Ryan thinks the ultimate penance is receiving corporal punishment? No I don’t. I do like that Ryan actually let the victim do the punishment and receive the apology rather than white knighting about it. And of course I am deeply aware of how ironic it is that Homelander is helping Ryan stand up for sexual harassment victims when Homelander raped Ryan’s mom in a similar power imbalance situation.

Genuinely feel sad for Ashley that she lost her Ben Shapiro parody submissive (at least partially because I found it hilarious), but she got him back and that felt very earned.

I knew that Ashley and A-Train did more to Homelander’s apartment! Haha I can’t wait to find out what it is.

Man no one is having a great time or talking about it this episode.

Always happy to see more Esposito, love him as the ultimate traitor. Just betraying everyone left and right.

Not super fond of how they’re making it seem like Annie was wrong morally for beating up Firecracker. For falling for it? Sure. For reacting with anger? No.

Big fan of the V-ed up animals. Hysterical and very fun.

“Do you even know who Annie is anymore?” Um has more time passed that they’re showing? Because didn’t Annie decide to use the Starlight name again like two episodes ago?

I like that we got to see Hughie solve a bad situation on his own this time. He’s really coming into his own. Also, I like that we got another chance to say goodbye to his dad. Still sus that Hughie’s mom knows what V is.

Finally we got to see some of Simon Pegg’s comedic chops too. Him spinning around inside that guy had me laughing like nothing else.

Butcher taking that scientist captive? Honestly that doesn’t feel so much like a return to the dark side as just something his character would always be willing to do. Lest we forget he kidnapped Translucent, tortured him, pumped him for information, and would have killed him if Hughie didn’t get there first. I do feel like he’s relying less on other people which is a backslide from his character development but true to where his character was in the first season too.

Not a lot of sister sage the episode, glad to see she saw through firecracker’s fake inclusion attitude. I do feel like she’s growing closer and closer to dropping Homelander as an ally, something I suspected she would do from the minute they teamed up.

No Colin but I’m sure that’s gonna bite them in the ass.

What are the rules of Victoria’s headpopping? We saw her do it a little but there were many more opportunities. Does she need to charge up? Line of sight? Eye contact?

I agree that Victoria turned her daughter into a monster but only because she taught her not to value human lives and also because she turned her into some version of Parasyte: The Maxim.

Not a fan of Frenchie turning himself in. That’s not going to do anything, now they’re gonna have to break him out, and this show’s morality was never black and white enough that it could look at his actions and be like “you finally did the right thing”

Man when they all meet up with Hughie again he’s gonna have some stories to tell.

Side note: I am utterly amazed that now the secret of Compound V is out that no other country is sending like every spy in their arsenal to steal some. Considering how easily Hughie and the Boys can get it, it isn’t very difficult. Take one look at the nuclear arms race and tell me that every country in the world wouldn’t be quietly declaring all out war on Vought to get their hands on some.

[deliciouskeys]

Hot takes, roughly in order of how much I care…

Homelander and Ryan

I liked the what felt like 2 minutes of Ryan and Homelander that we got in this episode. I know where they’re going with this, but I expected so much worse from the slapping scene that was mentioned in spoilers. Is the Boys writers’ room going on record that corporal punishment may not be justified in the face of sexual harassment? Because I think that’s a controversial stance, especially if there’s a clear work power dynamic at play lol. Anyway, I’m glad they chose this gray scenario, because it’s really hard to be sympathetic with a guy like Adam.

When Homelander says “that’s… amazing”, I think that’s being interpreted as incredulous and dismissive in online circles. I think he’s genuinely surprised that’s what first comes to mind to his son, but I don’t think he’s disdainful per se. In Homelander’s mind “saving people” is very much synonymous with “putting wrongdoers in their place”. And since he sees society (‘in America’) as wrong, his grand plan of supes becoming more of a despotic pantheon over the normies isn’t necessarily in contradiction with Ryan’s desire to ‘save people.’ TL;DR I don’t think HL is dismissing Ryan’s aspirations out of hand.

(Hearkening back to “You people should be thanking christ that I am who I am, because you need me. You need me to save you, you do. I am the only one who possibly can.”)

ETA: ok I need to clarify this part since what I wrote here sounds like HL and Ryan are going to get along great and that’s not what I meant to convey. I cannot field all the DMs! This is a hot take! I just meant that I didn’t expect HL to realize he might not know what Ryan wants because he’s been fucked by Vought. My expectations bar is perpetually low, please keep this in mind. I also despise the oversaturation of portrayals of bratty kids in media so please know that’s just my personal aesthetic bias.

Other Vought peeps

I wish Sage got more screen time. I appreciated ATrain’s taking initiative to escape notice. I do wonder what Ashley would have done if Cameron Coleman hadn’t just broken up with her.

I’m glad Stan Edgar gets to say Homelander is a “Freudian cesspool of random impulse and deep insecurity” right on the heels of e4. “Glad” lol.

Virus farm section

I’m getting a little tired of characters saying “we’re at an impasse” when… they’re clearly not at any real impasse. Victoria could have exploded the Boys’ heads and brought in other redshirts to help find Sameer if she really wanted to. And she paid the price for not doing that. Is the implication that she is afraid of Annie and Kimiko?

As for the virus… well. I’m strangely fine with what Billy is doing. If this virus isn’t even that contagious supe-to-supe, then his plan to keep trying to kill HL with it makes a lot of sense. As for Sameer? Well, if they hadn’t wasted the “last dose” (see below for why that’s stupid) of the virus on sheep, and Victoria didn’t just shrug and say ‘guess that’s that’, and also let the Boys live in the first place, Sameer would still have his leg.

I did cringe when the sheep was vomiting its guts out and Victoria, Kimiko, and Annie were all within Ebola-body-fluid-droplet range of it. Because this thing does sound more contagious than HIV, at least.

If Billy Butcher really needed some more virus I hope he grabbed the carnivorous sheep carcasses. Presumably there’s a gallon of replicated virus right there. Not only does it kill supes, it’s also a virus that replicates orders of magnitude faster than any living thing on earth lol. There are many things that are funny about how they’re researching this virus. Not a single biohazard tissue culture hood in sight. No cell based assays. AAAAANYWAY, it really doesn’t matter. Big fast compound V targeting(?) virus doesn’t need logic.

Overall just not a fan of big loud sequences with ultimately low stakes, so the flying sheep were a lot less fun to me than the e2 fight scene action.

What I think isn’t working

This is minor but after Gen V, I cringe at Sam’s acting. Just that one line they gave him sounded bad to me, and I know it’s probably just PTSD from how much I disliked the end of Gen V but there it is. I’m sorry to those of you who like him, this is clearly personal opinion. Cate is fine, she can stay.

Hughie’s storyline… I don’t even know what to say. Nothing about his parents’ shitty behavior was resolved. And then Hughie was forced to say his dad is his hero to save his mom’s life. And also be the one to euthanize him. What a weird, weird arc.

I’m saying absolutely nothing about Frenchie’s storyline because it is even more inexplicable. @kosmochlor covered it all.

[maybe-boys-do-love]

The Trainee, full series review

As I reflect on The Trainee and our responses to it as an audience throughout its run I'm reminded of how easy it is to be cynical about life and media. We expect worst-case-scenarios, punishments, and villains. In fact, this kind of thinking offers our anxieties a sense of certainty and fulfillment: things are good or bad, people are competent authorities or incompetent assholes.

I saw so many of us waiting for the other shoe to drop during The Trainee. We looked for problems at Good Pick so that Ryan's tides could easily turn and he could become the hero. We predicted Joy or Judy or Jo (what's with all the J names??) would be revealed as some villain for their failures to properly mentor. Even up to the last episode, we expected Nine to receive some kind of legal action for plagiarizing concepts. But, as Toni Morrison wrote, "You have to be an adult to consciously, deliberately be good--and that's complicated." The Trainee was a show about being and becoming a good adult, and even rarer to see in our media, an adult who chooses goodness at work.

The series brought us so many situations that could've sparked drama or set off a firing process for one of the employees. Maybe you felt some of the problems should've been dealt with that way. The point of the series wasn't the consequences of actions, though. Each week, instead, the episodes restored the dignity of its characters so they could learn and grow and let others inspire them to move forward.

Jo's speech to the interns at their farewell party highlighted the central theme perfectly. "I remember the first day we met. I heard none of you were any good. I couldn't tell if three months later, you'd be any better. I just wanted you to find your own path and see your own worth." What kinds of grace and patience are we willing to give ourselves in order to seek out and work toward meaningful lives? And once we can offer this to ourselves how do we offer it to others?

The Trainee's philosophy forces you to review it differently. Did it have missteps or incongruities (grad school acceptance processes are apparently much faster in HK, for example)? Sure, but don't we all slip up here and there? I almost love The Trainee more for the quirky imperfections it holds within the compassionate light of its cinematic lens glares. Prepare for disappointment if you want passionate high-drama romance, but if you're feeling lost on your path in life and need a kind hand to comfort and guide you, I can't recommend a better internship than the one offered at Good Pick on The Trainee.

[metalandmagi]

I'm re-watching High School Musical the Musical The Series (again) and even though I love this silly show so much, I'm compiling a list of things I would change for my own sanity. Get ready for some of the most niche nitpicks you can imagine!

Give the poor background kid who plays Ryan in HSM during season 1 his part back. We only ever see this kid during the "Status Quo" dance. He's not even in "Bop to the Top." I love Seb, but dang it, Sharpay and Ryan are an iconic duo.😞

Figure out what to do with EJ from the beginning. He is such a good character at his core, but the writers fumbled the bag with him so many times.

Ashlyn or Seb should have gotten offered a spot at the Youth Actors Conservatory instead of Nini. You know they carried that musical, and then we could have avoided the entire YAC arc.

More Natalie Bagley (the stage manager). She's hilarious and has a good voice.

More Kaden (background guy with bleached blond hair). Idk I just like him for some reason 😅

Make Seb the Beast in season 2. Justice for Seb!!!!!

The award that they want to win in season 2 not only has a cash prize, but a scholarship too! If the wildcats won, that scholarship could have seriously changed someone's life!

Lily seems like the type of person who would let the Wildcats perform The Rose Song and let them get disqualified without telling them about the rule. Just saying...

Why are the Wildcats ordered to stop production on Beauty and the Beast for going to North High and literally not doing anything, while a North High teacher stole their property and yet doesn't get punished? Also, why do they just drop this plot point later? I don't remember seeing it get resolved.

Ditch Ashlyn's "make way for Belle" attitude at the beginning of season 3. Seriously, what's up with that? Do the writers know her at all?

WE NEVER GET TO SEE JET ACTUALLY PLAY HANS!? WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE?

We never find out what Carlos was aiming to do by changing the Frozen cast list. Who did he want to play?🤔

This is going to be an unpopular opinion, but I didn't need Maddox and Ashlyn to get together. We could keep the arc about Ashlyn (and Big Red) discovering she's bi at camp, but I just don't feel the same chemistry as I do between her and Big Red. They're fine together; there's nothing really wrong with the ship. I just didn't like the way Ashlyn and Big Red broke up. And it felt a little like both Ashlyn and Big Red had to end up with people of the same gender to somehow "validate" the fact that they're both bi. (Yes it's a funny reveal at the end with the fake French kid revealing that he likes Big Red, but the point still stands). Again, Ashlyn and Maddox isn't a bad ship at all, I just feel like everything between these 3 could have been handled better.

Get rid of Dani is season 4. I'm sorry, but she doesn't add anything to the show (even though she gets chiller by the end). Nothing against her, she's just a nothing character.

BRING BIG RED AND SEB BACK FOR THE ENTIRE LAST SEASON! And scrap the cheating plotline. I don't have the patience for this nonsense.

I love Miss Jenn and Mr. Mazzara being end game (they're just like Luke and Lorelai from Gilmore Girls!!!!!), but there has to be a better reason to break up with Ricky's dad. It felt so rushed.

Where the hell were all the extras that end up in the musical when Miss Jenn needed eight people to show up to the rehearsal? The main characters ditching that important rehearsal already annoyed me, but you'd think she'd get some of the ensemble to show up. Even if they said that most of them are doing the movie, some of them could have showed up, considering how big the ensemble is in the end.

Also in season 4, they talk about Miss Jenn and Mr. Mazzara's first meeting, but don't we see their first meeting back in season 1? Like...isn't it completely different?

As much as I love Miss Jenn wanting to continue teaching, I feel like she should have gotten her Broadway moment, at least for a little while. She was born to play Glinda.

I need to see Emmy become Natalie Bagley's prot��gé. They deserve to rule the world.

We needed an Olivia cameo at the end of the series. It could have been her face-timing the Wildcats. It could have been the camera zooming out when the rest of them were singing "Born to be Brave" to have her watching the video. Something! Anything!

[welcometojackass2022]

Shove It (Ryan Dunn x Sub!Reader) [Smut]

Thank you to the anonymous requester! This takes place during the first Jackass movie, and it’s the scene where Ryan shoved a toy car up his ass for a prank.

Description: Your boyfriend, Ryan Dunn, agrees to shove a toy car up his ass for a stunt for the Jackass movie. You spend the entire time laughing about it with Bam, and Ryan decides to teach you a lesson later that night; after all, good girls shouldn’t laugh at their dom.

Warnings: Female Reader, Cursing, Smut, Dom/Sub dynamics with Ryan as the dom and you as the sub, Slight Daddy Kink (you call Ryan daddy a couple times during sex), Ryan punishing you with spanking and slight orgasm denial, Praise Kink (Ryan praises you a lot while also being stern and telling you off for laughing at him), Gross descriptions of the toy car incident, there’s one moment where Steve-O asks if Ryan hits you so slight mention of physical abuse but it’s literally a passing mention with no detail

“You know, if someone had told me ten years ago that I’d one day be sitting in a room and watching my boyfriend shove a toy car up his ass, I would never have believed them. I would have left the country and joined a group of nuns or something like that.” You whispered to Bam with a look of dismay as your boyfriend, Ryan, held up a tube with the words “Anal Lube” printed on the front. The three of you (along with the cameramen, a couple of the Jackass boys, and Ed the medic) were all sitting in a hotel room; Ryan was on the bed with a toy car and a condom next to him, and you and Bam were standing near the head of the bed, Bam holding a stethoscope and wearing a singular glove on his right hand. You’d thought about bringing a fake medical device of your own just to be funny, but you were so nervous for what was about to go down that all you could do was stand next to Bam with your arms crossed.

Ryan held the condom and the little blue toy car up to the camera, showing the camera the step-by-step process of him shoving the toy car into the condom and absolutely drenching it in lube. “Now I’m lubing up the little toy car…because I’m going to put it in my butt.” Everyone burst out laughing, and you shook your head in disbelief as you watched your boyfriend put his legs up in the air to shove the toy car in, groaning in dismay as he went to put more lube on the car. Bam leaned over to put the stethoscope to Ryan’s chest, and you smirked. “Is his heart rate up?” Bam grinned, nodding his head. “Heart rate’s going up for sure.” Ryan grimaced, pushing the car in further. “It hurts like hell.” Manny walked into the room, only making the situation feel more surreal, and you and Bam found yourselves leaning against the wall from laughing hysterically at the sight of Ryan sitting there with the toy car in his ass.

Ryan glared up at you, and you tried to stifle your laughter as you smiled apologetically. “Sorry, baby, but it’s pretty fucking funny.” He mumbled something about feeling like he was going to shit the car out, and you and Bam nearly fell on top of each other from how hard you were laughing, Bam gasping for air as you pounded the floor with your fist in utter hysteria. You pulled yourself up onto the bed, wiping a stray tear from your eye as you patted your boyfriend’s shoulder in sympathy. “Don’t shit the car out, baby, we don’t need to bring that footage into existence.” Ryan rolled his eyes, moving around uncomfortably. “Glad you care so much about my well-being, babe.” You shot him a look, leaning down to kiss him on the cheek. “You know I’m kidding, baby. If it really hurts I can tell them to make someone else do it…then again, that’s kind of a pussy move.” You looked over at Bam, trying not to laugh, and the two of you immediately went into hysterics again.

Ryan gave you a warning look that the rest of the guys were too distracted to notice, and you felt a shiver run down your spine. When Ryan gave you that look, it usually meant that you were gonna be in for it when the two of you got home; getting punished by Ryan certainly wasn’t something to pass up, so you mentally decided that you’d push things a little further throughout the day, just to guarantee that Ryan would punish you that night. You returned his warning look with an innocent smile, and then you got up and stood beside Bam again, whispering a joke about Ryan’s ass that sent Bam into another laughing fit and earned you another warning look from Ryan, which you once again ignored. Ryan looked like he was gonna say something, but the fact that there were so many other people in the room kept him from doing it. If it had just been Bam, Ryan wouldn’t have had any problem putting you in your place right then and there, but he was way too private about his sex life with you to mention anything even remotely sexual when Steve-O, Manny, and a few others were in the room too.

Eventually, it was time to drive Ryan down to the doctor’s office so the second part of the prank could commence. You piled into the car with the boys, sitting between Ryan and Bam, and Ryan instinctively put his hand on your upper thigh, rubbing circles on it to distract himself from the pain of having the toy car up his ass. You patted his hand sympathetically and held it, looping your fingers through his as you turned to talk to Bam. “Alright Bam, place your bets. How long do you think it’ll take Ryan to shit the car out when this is all over?” Ryan gently squeezed your hand as yet another warning, and you pointedly ignored him. Bam grinned, leaning his head against the car window in thought. “I think he won’t be able to shit it out at all. I think we’ll actually have to take him to the emergency room to get it surgically removed from his ass.” You snickered, and Ryan leaned close to you so his lips were by your ear, lowering his voice enough that only you could hear him. “Behave, princess, don’t make me tell you again.” His strict tone made you shiver.

You almost wanted to stop there so you wouldn’t disappoint him, but it had been a while since he’d given you a real punishment session, and you were absolutely dying for it, so you decided you’d keep it doing. You glanced over at him with a look of fake guilt and nodded, laying your head against his shoulder and whispering a reply. “Sorry, Ryan, I’ll behave.” He leaned over and kissed you on the top of your head. “It’s okay, baby, I’m just on edge right now. My ass fucking hurts.” He said the last part loud enough for everyone in the car to hear, and everyone laughed. The car pulled up near the doctors office that Ryan would be going into, and you started to unbuckle your seatbelt, but Bam quickly stopped you. “Don’t go in. The doctor will find it suspicious that someone dumb enough to get a car stuck up his ass actually has a girlfriend. Just let the cameraman go in with him and you can stay here with me and Steve-O.” You groaned. “I don’t wanna be stuck in here with you freaks.”

Ryan got out of the car and leaned over to give you a kiss. “It’ll be fine, babe, just stay here and if they do anything weird I’ll kick their ass later.” Bam smirked, and you held back a smile, knowing he was about to say something completely out of line. “It’ll be kind of hard to kick our asses when you’ve got a fuckin’ toy car shoved up yours.” You burst out laughing, burying your face in your hands as your shoulders shook with laughter. “You guys are such a fucking riot.” Ryan’s voice dripped with sarcasm, and he slammed the car door shut, walking off towards the doctors office. When you managed to stop laughing and looked up, Ryan was glancing back at you with a deadly look, and you grimaced. Bam elbowed you with a grin. “You’re in trouble.” You lightly kicked his leg and shrugged. “Your fault for saying that shit, you knew it would make me laugh.” Steve-O leaned over from the very back seat, looking extremely confused. “Wait, you’re in trouble? Holy shit, Ryan doesn’t like…hit you, or anything like that, does he? If I need to I can tell the guys and we can all-”

Bam cut him off with an eye roll. “No, dumbass, he doesn’t hit her. They have one of those weird sex things where he gets to punish her if she does bad shit. You know, spanking and shit like that. It’s kinky.” You elbowed him in the side, and he yelped. “God, Bam, why don’t you just tell him all of the details of our sex life while you’re at it?” Bam raised his eyebrows. “I mean, if you really want me to I can.” You shook your head, staring out the window as you watched Ryan walk up to the doctors office. “You guys are actual idiots. Oh damn, look how Ryan’s walking.” Bam and Steve-O looked out the car window, laughing when they saw Ryan limping towards the door like he had something stuck up his ass (because he quite literally did). “Wow, I’m sure no one will be able to tell he’s got an object shoved up his ass with that dorky fucking walk.” You grinned. “Give him a break, he had to shove a toy car up his own ass in front of a bunch of people and a camera, this has been a rough day for him.” Bam nodded.

“I’m sure he’ll get over it when he gets to spank you later.” Steve-O looked like he was gonna ask another question, and you shook your head. “Don’t even ask, Steve-O, I’m not gonna give any details. What I am gonna do is kick Bam’s ass if he keeps bringing it up.” You shot Bam a look, and he raised his hands defensively. “Alright, alright, I’ll drop it. Let’s talk about something else. So…do we think the doctor’s actually gonna fall for this?” Steve-O leaned over the seat again as he and Bam got into a passionate discussion about how stupid the doctor could potentially be, and you tuned them out as you stared at the doctors office, waiting for Ryan to come back out. Sure, it was funny to laugh at the situation, but you still didn’t want anything bad to happen from him having the toy car shoved up his ass. After what felt like an hour but was probably only thirty minutes, Ryan walked out looking even more uncomfortable than he had before; you watched the cameraman walk out with a massive grin on his face, and you smiled. “Looks like it went well.”

Ryan got back into the car, flashing you a pointed look, and you mentally decided you’d pushed his buttons enough for the day. You wrapped your arm around him, pulling him close to you as you leaned your head against his shoulder. “So? Did he fall for it?” Ryan laughed. “He did. Wait til you see the footage, baby, it was fucking hilarious.” The cameraman started recounting the entire experience from start to finish, and you turned to whisper to Ryan. “Does it still hurt?” He nodded. “Pretty fucking bad. As soon as we get back to that room I’m heading straight to the bathroom.” The hotel room that the toy car shoving had been filmed in was the room you and Ryan had been staying in for the last few days, so once Steve-O and Bam and the cameramen all off to their own hotel rooms, it would just be you and Ryan. By yourselves. The thought made you smile, and Ryan raised his eyebrows. “What are you all giddy about, baby? I’m guessing you and Bam made more jokes about me while I was gone?”

You shook your head, your smile widening as you thought of all the ways Ryan might punish you that night. Maybe he’d spank you, that was always fun. “No! Well…okay, maybe a few.” Bam snickered, and Ryan shot you both a disapproving look. “Real mature.” You playfully rolled your eyes and exchanged a look with Bam. “Shoving a car up your ass isn’t very mature either, but that sure didn’t stop you, did it?” Ryan started to retort, but then the car pulled into the parking lot of the hotel and he closed his mouth. As everyone got out of the car, he leaned over to you again. “I’ll deal with you later.” He pressed a kiss against the underside of your jaw and quickly got out before you could even register what he’d said. You sat there for a second, heart beating fast as you thought over the implications of that phrase. Usually, when he said something like that, it was a good sign that he was gonna be fucking you so hard that you’d be walking funny for a week.

You hurriedly unbuckled your seatbelt and headed into the hotel room, hoping Ryan would get the car out fast and everyone would leave you both alone before long. Everyone was gathered in the bathroom, watching as Ryan tried to fish the condom with the car in it out of his ass, and you watched nervously from the door, trying to resist the urge to bite your nails from anxiety. “Please be careful, babe, you’re gonna break your own ass if you make one wrong move.” Bam laughed. “Aw, don’t worry, (Y/n), your boyfriend’s probably got a lot of experience taking things in and out of his ass.” You bit your lip to stop the laughter that you could feel coming, and Ryan shot you both an annoyed look. “Not exactly the time for jokes, I’ve got my hand halfway up my ass trying to get a condom out.” This did nothing to make the situation less funny to you, and you turned and leaned your forehead against the wall, hiding your laughter so your boyfriend could concentrate.

Eventually, Ryan fished it out, throwing the condom-covered car onto the floor victoriously while simultaneously grimacing from the pain. “Fuck, I think my ass is bleeding.” The camera guy zoomed in on the nasty condom, and you made a face. “I don’t know who’s picking that up, but it’s definitely not gonna be me.” Eventually, Bam, Steve-O, and the others got bored of pointing and laughing at the dirty condom, and they high-fived Ryan and headed for the door. As he left, Bam turned to you and grinned. “Have fun getting in trouble! Let me know if he spanks you.” You rolled your eyes and shoved him towards the door. “Mind your own business or I’ll spank you, Bam.” Bam raised an eyebrow. “Wait, is that an offer or-” You slammed the door in his face with a smirk, locking the door and turning around to get Ryan, only to find him already standing a few feet away from you with a strict look on his face.

You smiled innocently, leaning back against the door. “Oh, hey baby!” Ryan shot you a look. “Don’t ‘hey, baby’ me, princess, you know you’re in trouble.” You grinned. “Yeah, I know, I know. I don’t see what the big deal is, Ryan, we were just making jokes.” Ryan sat down on the hotel bed, beckoning you over, and you obediently walked over and allowed him to pull you into his lap. “I know you were, baby, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that you were laughing at me. Good girls don’t laugh at their doms, do they?” You looked away, and he gently turned your head back to him. “Well, do they?” You shook your head. “No, sir.” Ryan sat back, keeping his arms around your waist so you were seated comfortably on his lap. “I think this calls for a punishment, what do you think?” You tried to hide your smile, nodding with fake hesitance as if you weren’t actively hoping to be punished. “I think so.” Ryan thought it over for a second, deciding what your punishment would be. “Hmm…alright, princess, shirt and pants off.”

You obediently stood up, pulling off your shirt and tossing it aside as you kicked off your jeans, leaning you in just your bra and panties. Ryan looked you over appreciatively, nodding with approval. “Fuck, you’re so pretty, baby. Come here.” He grabbed your hips and pulled you closer to him, his hands roaming up and down your body as he rubbed the soft fabric of your panties between his fingers. “You can leave these on for now, they’ll make your ass look extra pretty as I’m spanking it. Lay down, baby, you know what to do.” He patted his lap, and you climbed onto the bed, crawling over his lap and laying down so your belly was pressed against his lap and your ass was facing up. You got comfortable, pressing the side of your face against the soft bedsheets as Ryan rubbed his hands over your ass. He pulled your panties up so they were farther up your asscrack, leaving your asscheeks better exposed, and rubbed his hands over your ass again. “Don’t bother counting, princess, I’ll do this until I think you’ve learned your lesson. Is that okay?”

You nodded, lifting your head up to look back at him. “Yes, daddy.” Ryan smiled slightly at the name. “Good girl. What’s the safe word?” You looked back again. “Mustard.” You both chuckled at the word, and then Ryan’s face went serious again, and he raised his hand above your ass. “Take it like a good girl and your next punishment will be nice and short.” You felt a pang of genuine excitement at the prospect of receiving a second punishment, and you wiggled your ass teasingly, trying to get him to move a little faster. Ryan took another second or two, building up anticipation, and then he steadily brought his hand down on your ass; you moaned softly, feeling your pussy clench up at the feeling of his hand smacking your ass, and he did it again, bringing his hand down slightly harder than before. “How’s that feel, princess?” You pushed your ass up against his hand eagerly, and he moved his hand down to rub at your pussy through your thin panties.

“Fuck, baby, I’ve barely spanked you and you’re already soaking wet. Maybe I need to go a little bit harder.” You nodded, smiling coyly as you looked back at him. “Maybe.” Ryan shot you a stern look. “Don’t be so eager, princess, this is a punishment. Lay your head back down.” You laid your head back down on the bed, trying and failing to hide your look of excitement, and Ryan spanked you a few more times, bringing his hand down a little harder (it didn’t hurt that much, but Ryan wasn’t the type to do something if he thought it was actually gonna hurt you anyway) and using his free hand to rub circles over your clit through your panties at the same time. You pushed your hips back, trying to get more friction from the tip of his finger against your pussy. Ryan smacked his hand against your ass again warningly. “Be patient, baby, you’re not getting any real touches until your punishment is over. I think five more spankings will be good, what do you think?”

You nodded, pushing your ass up again. “Yes, sir.” Ryan laughed. “Don’t be inconsistent, you were calling me daddy a few minutes ago. Pick one.” You smiled. “Sorry. Yes, daddy.” He pushed down on your lower back so you were laying out flat again, and he brought his hand down on your ass again five times, slipping his fingers into your panties and rubbing at your entrance for the last couple of smacks. “God, you’re dripping. I could probably slide my cock in right now, if I wanted to. I’ll be nice and give you some foreplay first, though. Stand up, princess.” You got up from the bed, and Ryan gently turned you around so he could see your ass, bright red against the soft material of your panties. “That’s a pretty view right there. You good to keep going?” He rubbed his hands over your ass soothingly and turned you around to face him, and you smiled. “I’m good!” You leaned down to kiss him on the lips, and he grinned. “Alright, good. Let’s get these off.”

Ryan helped you unhook your bra and tugged your panties down so you could kick them off, and he appreciatively ran his hands up your sides as he took in the sight of your bare breasts and exposed pussy. “Baby, I know I say this a lot, but you are so fucking gorgeous that it kills me.” You blushed, cupping his face in your hands and leaning down to kiss him again, and then he pulled away and stood up, moving to take off his shirt. You stopped him. “Can I take your clothes off for you?” He nodded, and you enthusiastically helped him peel the t-shirt off, running one of your hands up his bare chest as your other hand fumbled to unbutton his jeans and pull them down his legs. He kicked them off along with his boxers to reveal his cock, which was hard as a rock against his leg. Your legs nearly buckled just from the sight of it, and Ryan wrapped his hand around the base of it, pumping it a couple times.

“You gonna keep staring at it, princess, or do you wanna help me out with it?” You quickly dropped to your knees, eager to get your hands on it, and Ryan instinctively tangled his fingers into your hair, waiting to see what you would do. You moved his hand away and replaced it with your own, leaning your head down to lave at the head of his cock; Ryan held his breath, and you swirled your tongue around the tip, taking it into your mouth and sucking on it to get it coated with your saliva. “Perfect, princess, just like that.” He pushed your head down a little further, letting your mouth slide halfway down his shaft before he pulled you back up by your hair so that only the tip was in your mouth. One of your hands stayed wrapped around the base of his cock while the other grabbed at Ryan’s hip to keep you steady. He started to push your mouth down on his cock again, and you eagerly took it all the way into your mouth without needing to be told.

“You look so pretty with my cock down your throat like that, baby, you’re such a good girl for me.” You perked up at the praise, sucking harder on his shaft and rubbing at his balls, and then Ryan gripped your hair again and gently pulled you off of his cock with a slick ‘pop’ sound. You whined softly in disappointment, and Ryan pulled you up your feet with a stern look, helping you wipe the saliva from your chin. “Don’t whine, princess, we’re not done yet. Get comfortable on the bed for me.” You obeyed, climbing onto the bed and laying back against the pillows with your legs slightly spread. Ryan climbed on after you, situating himself between your legs and leaning down to kiss you again as he lined the tip of his cock up with your pussy. He teased your entrance with his tip, smiling to himself when you wiggled your hips impatiently, and then he slammed his hips forehead, pushing his cock inside of you.

The head of his cock stretched out your entrance, and you moaned loudly, tightening up around his cock as he pressed his forehead against yours and linked his fingers through yours. “How’s that feel, baby, you want me to go deeper?” You nodded fervently, wrapping your legs around his waist to pull him closer. “Please, daddy, I want the whole thing.” Ryan obliged, pushing his cock all the way as he grabbed at your hips, pulling you towards him so he could fuck you harder. He moved one of his hands down to finger you, rubbing circles over your clit again as he’d done earlier, and you cried out, hips squirming around as he tried to bring you closer to orgasm as quickly as possible. He ran his index finger over your clit, and you tightened up around him, feeling a hint of suspicion at how quickly he was trying to make you cum. Sure enough, right as you reached the brink of orgasm, Ryan suddenly took his hand away and pulled his cock out.

You whined in protest. “That was mean, Ryan.” Ryan smirked, kissing you on the forehead. “I told you you’d be getting another punishment, baby, I didn’t say what it would be. You’re not getting to cum that easily, you’ll have to prove that you deserve it.” You frowned. “Aw, come on, Ryan, I’ll be a good girl.” He moved his hand down to finger you again. “I know you will. Here, wanna ride me, princess?” You nodded, and he took his fingers away and switched spots with you so he was laying on his back and you were straddling his cock. “Do a good job here and I’ll let you cum afterwards, okay?” He grabbed your hips and helped you lower yourself down on his cock, and then he took his hands away to give you more control. You rested your hands on his chest to steady yourself as you pushed yourself down on his dick, his tip immediately pressing up against your g-spot as you rode his cock. Ryan grabbed at your ass, squeezing it in his hands and using his grip on it to push you even farther down.

You tightened up around his shaft, and Ryan threw his head back, a low groan leaving his mouth as he watched you fuck yourself on his cock. “Just like that, baby, you fuck yourself so good on my cock, you take it so well, you’re so good for me. I love stretching that tight little pussy out on my dick, keep going. I’m gonna paint that gorgeous body with my cum here in a minute, and then you’ll get a reward for being such a good girl.” You quickened your pace on his cock, eager to make him cum, and after a moment, he pulled you off and flipped you over so he was on top of you, shooting his massive load all over your thighs and tummy with a loud moan. He released his grip on his cock, letting it fall limply against his leg, and then he leaned down to kiss you passionately, admiring the sight of his cum all over you as he pulled away. “You look like an angel with my cum all over you, princess.”

You smiled. “I feel like an angel right now, the way you’re looking at me.” Ryan’s eyes drifted back down to your pussy, and he situated himself between your legs again, leaning down to press a kiss against the lips of your vagina. “You ready for that reward, baby?” You nodded eagerly, letting him wrap your thighs around his head, and he pushed his tongue inside you, his lips wrapping around your clit as the tip of his tongue slid up the length of your pussy. “That feels so fucking good, Ryan, holy shit.” You played with his hair, enjoying the feeling of his beard rubbing against your thighs, and you bucked your hips up against his mouth. “I’m so close, baby, please don’t stop.” Encouraged by your words, Ryan started moving his mouth a little faster, circling his tongue around your clit as he looked up to see your reaction. You bit your lip, tightening your fingers in his hair, and you threw your head back as you came against Ryan’s tongue. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”

Ryan kissed your inner thighs, his mouth and chin slightly damp from your juices as he licked up your cum from your pussy, and then he leaned over to kiss you again. “You taste incredible, princess, I love seeing your face when you cum for me. Hold on, I’ll go get a towel.” He got up and walked off to the bathroom, coming back with a towel and gently cleaning you off with a look of adoration on his face. He tossed the towel into the open bathroom and crawled back into bed, pulling you into his lap and pressing his lips to your forehead as you buried your face in his chest, the two of you enjoying the warmth of each others bodies. “I’m sorry I made fun of you for the toy car thing, Bam and I thought we were being funny.” Ryan laughed, shaking his head. “I wasn’t mad, baby, don’t worry. It was funny, to be fair. My ass is fucking killing me, though.” You pulled away and grinned at him. “When do I get to see the footage from what happened in the doctors office?” Ryan playfully rolled his eyes. “Never. I don’t need you and Bam making fun of me again, you’re banned from ever watching it.” You shot him a look. “Don’t be mean, Ryan.”

[marionsravenwoods]

I guess you can call me the 3am Mike cutter anon and I’m aware of like his seasons so idm spoilers.

I was going to ramble in the tags of a gif set you did for innocence because I had some Thoughts about the episode but decided against it. My main problem with Emily was that how. How did she NOT tell Mike that he was missing some credits?? Like? That’s so,,,I mean it’s understandable that some credits will fall through because Mike transferred from 3 colleges and different colleges have different standards (I went through that when I transferred to my uni from community college. Good god my uni didn’t have the foreign language I took. Anyway) but like it should be on her to tell Mike. And to use it against him,,,tbf he did kinda bring it on himself for supeona’ing student records and sure use any means necessary but I felt like that was. Going a bit too far. Was he going after the intergreity of Emily’s clinic? Yeah but with good reason (pretty sure a student bribed that witness with money + booze can impair one’s judgement). Did Emily had to bring in Mike’s law license into this? No not rlly. Idk at least Mike kept his law license but 😬😬 god.

hey 3am mike cutter anon! sorry that it's taken me so long to respond but boy am i glad to see you back in my asks again! :)

spoilers for l&o S20E16 "innocence" under the cut:

i am 100% with you on this—i've said it before and i'll say it again, in that episode MIKE DID NOTHING WRONG. sure, like you said, he arguably gets too aggressive going after the clinic with the subpeona. BUT, let's remember the context—emily ryan was trying to overturn a legitimate trial verdict, all of the potentially exculpatory leads were investigated (by lupo and bernard—we see this in the first half of the episode after ryan's first challenge), and there's good reason to believe, as you mentioned, that the "exculpatory" witness was unreliable/bribed. Grade inflation is a potential motive for that behavior, so even though you could argue it's still a bad look for mike, it's not mike's job to play nice if it means putting a homophobic murderer out on the street.

even if you do think mike was going too far, it was absolutely unnecessary for emily ryan to try to tank his career over it. everyone keeps accusing mike of making it personal, when it's emily who made it personal to begin with. she's the first one to make a direct comment to him about "proving" that he still has his chops, to try to "beat" her. she essentially attempts to blackmail mike out of subpeonaing the records, and when he doesn't back down, she punishes him just to show that she can. on top of it all, in the scene at rikers at the end of the episode, she gaslights him by insisting that he was the one who started it. (oh really, emily? she literally says "now let's see if you really did learn something from me" when her first retrial request is granted!!!!!!!)

she's the one who treats it like a competition from the start, and does so until the very end, trying to negotiate a plea deal for a guy she clearly doesn't even believe is innocent (don't get me wrong—i know the whole job of a defense attorney is to be a tireless advocate for whomever they represent, even if they're guilty—but by the end of the episode, she's entirely forgotten the point of the innocence coalition, which is to challenge wrongful convictions, and i truly don't believe she thinks Stuber's conviction was wrongful by the end).

i know credit mishaps happen all the time (like what happened to you, and hell, my mom was missing half a credit when she was supposed to graduate from high school and her counselor just approved her anyway bc it was dumb to make her repeat a year over half a credit), but as his advisor, that was literally her responsibility to him, to make sure everything was in order, and if not, to give him time to fix it. then to hold onto that information to save it for a "rainy day", when she needed to stick it to him..... it's just evil. maybe she was envious of mike's talent in college, maybe she just genuinely fucked up and didn't want anyone to know that she had fucked up, and then saw an opportunity, i don't know. but i do think that in any case, she was mean and vindictive in a way that i don't think mike is (and i definitely think in a way that he evolved a bit away from by that point in the show).

on the bright side, ryan doing that did do two things: one, it meant that mike no longer had that secret hanging over his head anymore and no one else can use it against him (his convictions were upheld and he only got a reprimand from the bar), and two, it proved that he actually does believe in justice over winning or making himself look good. we see in the final scene that he's willing to give up everything—including his law license—to make sure this hate murderer goes to prison for what he did ("you can have my license! it'll free me up to testify about the hate speech your client just spewed in here."). that's something that i don't believe emily ryan ever had the guts to do.

ANYWAY, once again, mike cutter did nothing wrong, and i would like to fight emily ryan in a chili's parking lot.

thanks for dropping by again, 3am mike cutter anon! feel free to send me any more 3am mike cutter thoughts in the future! :)

[hozaloza]

Ryan Angst Oneshot (TW!! Eating Disorder?, Vomit)

🛑TW- Vomit, eating disorder

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Ryan stared at the food, grimacing at it before he pushed it away. He sighed as he got up from the table, picking up the plate full of food, then throwing it in the trash. His stomach growled, but he felt repulsed by the thought of food. Just thinking about the weight he could gain from it put a knot in his throat. So, he apt to drinking more water, then forced himself to bed.

His stomach pained him all night. He could barely sleep at all. But it was definitely better than getting fatter. 'Can't make fun of my weight now...' he thought, turning to his side. Ryan groaned as he curled up into a ball, holding his stomach. It was so unbearable, so painful... but he wasn't giving up yet. 'Just a few more pounds...' is all that ran through his head, over and over again.

...

The next morning, the raven-haired boy got up groggily, rubbing his eyes. He felt completely worn out, but he had to get ready for school. Hesitantly, he got out of his bed, walking to the bathroom. He took a shower, brushed his teeth, got changed, then got his bookbag, walking out the door. 

"Hey Ry-Ry! Woah, you look like a mess! Didn't get any sleep last night?" Thomas asked, clutching his bag strap as he began walking with him. Ryan stayed silent for a moment, thinking up an excuse. 

"Yeah... I was up finishing some homework." He lied. Thomas chuckled, then went on about how he could've just asked him for the answers. Eventually, Jasmine caught up to them.

"What's up idiots! How are my favorite knuckleheads doing??" She asked, wrapping her arms around the both of them. Ryan didn't react much, sighing annoyingly at the annoyance. But he took notice of Thomas's face turning red, chuckling nervously at the loud-mouthed girl. "I brought y'all some snacks, hope you guys enjoy it!" She stated, handing them both donut balls. 

"Yoo! Thank you so much! I love these." Thomas happily said, immediately eating one of his. However, Ryan stared at the small bag, not wanting to eat it. 'I'll gain weight...' he thought. The raven-haired boy handed the bag back to Jasmine, forcing a smile.

"Thanks, but I had a big breakfast." He stated. Jasmine gazed at him for a moment, possibly looking past his lie, but regardless, she shrugged, swinging her bookbag off to shove the donuts into her bag. 

"Alright, if you insist."

...

 As the group chatted at lunch, Ryan couldn't help but feel extremely worn out. It was only 4th period, and he was ready to die. His friends kept asking if he was sure he didn't want to eat, and he kept saying he wasn't hungry. But he was, he very was. The pain and growling really gave it away. It had been like this for a week now, and so far he lost 5 pounds. It may have been good for other people, but to Ryan, it was barely anything. How could he only lose 5 pounds? Maybe he had to exercise too...? Yes. That was what he needed. So, when he got home from school, he immediately began working out. His body was weak, but that wasn't stopping him. He had to lose this fat, he had to... 

Another 5 days passed, and he now had lost a total of 13 pounds. Yet his appearance barely changed. He still had stomach fat, and Ryan began to get frustrated with himself. Once while his parents were away, he kept beating himself up, a punishment. 

"You. fucking. fat. bitch!" He yelled, hitting himself with a belt. Ryan screamed, throwing the belt across the room. Panting heavily, he walked back to the bathroom, hovering over the toilet. Ryan began gagging, making an effort to throw up. After 5 minutes, he finally managed to puke something up. He felt nauseous. His body felt tired. His bones were weak, no longer wanting to hold himself up. Ryan slowly got up, walking towards his bed. He immediately fell down on the pillow, softly crying himself to slumber. 

Tired.

He was tired.

He just wanted to eat.

But he couldn't.

Because all food was disgusting. 

...

He was disgusting.

-----------------

I posted this on Wattpad as well.

Sorry if the eating disorder isn't accurate in this. I'm not very knowledgeable about this topic, that's why I put the question mark next to it)

Also, I'm currently obsessing over Ryan rn, and I have this weird thing where I make my favorites suffer,,, uh.

Hope you liked this angst.

[inclineto]

Books, May-June 2023

A Career in Books: A Novel about Friends, Money, and the Occasional Duck Bun - Kate Gavino

A Lady for a Duke - Alexis Hall [I started failing to read this last June, and now I have been resentfully failing to read it at intervals for almost an entire year, and I am still only 1/3 of the way through; I tried, I really did!, but I give up; dnf]

Don’t Think, Dear: On Loving and Leaving Ballet - Alice Robb [So triggering that I had to put it down because I realized halfway through that reading it had become a way to punish myself, and I...don’t want to do that (I lasted less than a day before I picked it up again, and honestly I’m still pretty fucked up by it.)]

Which Side Are You On - Ryan Lee Wong *

A Lady’s Guide to Fortune-Hunting - Sophie Irwin

The Pearl Thief - Elizabeth Wein [put this one off for years because I thought Code Name Verity didn’t need to be a series, and something felt tasteless about making it one, but in fact this book might as well be about completely different people in a completely different universe; a charming coming-of-age story meets mild mystery, with the complications of class and money and gender and sexuality (...but I still don’t think it needed to be a series)]

[ode-to-odes]

IF Review: Visit Skuga Lake - Masterpiece Edition

The first version of this game originally appeared in Ryan Veeder's ECTOCOMP 2021 entry, "Even Some More Tales from Castle Balderstone." In this remastered version, it's been expanded and further polished into an incredible game which I very much enjoyed spending my Saturday afternoon on. I've unfortunately never played any of Veeder's Balderstone games, so I can't speak to the changes and/or improvements made in this new version, but Visit Skuga Lake is one of those games which embodies everything I think makes a great IF game.

This game has everything, honestly. A fun, simple, and effective magic system, exploring a town at night, theft with no punishment at all, and a hagfish god living in a hagfish world. Need I say more? (According to the following thousand words, I guess so.)

I'm honestly astonished that prior to playing this game, I'd never even heard of Ryan Veeder - a quick look through his IFDB profile shows just how prolific he's become in the last decade he's been making these games. Visit Skuga Lake was my first of his works to play, but undoubtedly not the last.

Now I'm going to talk about the game at unnecessary length. Feel free to tap out at this point if you feel sold on my love for this game already. Spoilers below the cut, although I won't be going into detail about how to solve any specific problems.

Scene One: The Interview. The premise of Skuga Lake is that you are the main character living out the events of a horror (though I'd prefer "spooky" for this one) novel. This "novel" has an author - also an invention of the game, which. I'm going to be honest. I didn't originally realize. Don't bother googling Leah Naidu. Our prologue scene is simply interviewing the author, which is a cute introduction to the story. I was immediately drawn in by the writing and descriptions; atmosphere is so important in text-based games, and Veeder was immediately off to a great start. It DID take me a minute to figure out everything to ask Leah about, but overall a great time.

Scene Two: The Closet! I love the closet scene so very much. It introduces our main problem-solving mechanic and immediately shows the player that out-of-the-box solutions and experimentation are wholeheartedly encouraged in the game. There's not much more to say. It's a short part of the game, but a perfect introduction to gameplay without holding the hand of the player.

Scene Three: Also Known as 90% of the Game!! Visit Skuga Lake is just soooo interactive fiction. It's immediately topped my list of games I'd recommend to literally anyone, regardless of experience with IF. The one thing that was slightly annoying for me at first was going "IN" buildings rather than entering them via a cardinal direction, but you get used to that pretty quickly, and in retrospect, I think I like it more, especially when you're in an urban location. The gradual discovery of more amulets and eyestones made continuing the game incredibly rewarding, and I feel like nearly everything mentioned in the game was implemented in some way, which is always impressive. Experimenting with the different combinations was so exciting, though I probably should've kept track of them all because I kept forgetting which stone did what with which amulet. The characters all had very distinct voices and helped direct the player's next choices without railroading. Overall just. A fantastic time.

Scene Four: HAGFISH. Here's my one tip for anyone playing for the first time - if you want to collect all the worry dolls (not necessary for anything besides a special little achievement), you need to do it before you get on the boat! I did not know this and was quite sad to find out I couldn't go back and get all of them (I managed 6/10 on this run, though I might go back and try to find them all at some point). Honestly, the ending felt a bit underwhelming to me? There's fairly low stakes in the fight against everyone's favorite hagfish god (our primary antagonist. sort of) since he doesn't try to fight back at all. No ticking clock. Just trying to figure out how to hurt a giant slime creature. I mean, I'm not complaining that much. It suits the game, which is more about experimenting and exploring than worrying about the slime lake or the ghosts or your boss, who's turned into a slime (or was it oil? I forget) puddle. It does feel a bit funny though, that the most powerful witch of the town, who's scared them all into locking outsiders into closets and who makes deals with slime gods couldn't save herself from said slime god until you, the player, showed up, hit the hagfish with a couple spells, and saved the day in approximately ten commands. There's a few different possible endings (to take or leave Terlissa, for example), which, again, is always a pleasure in games like these.

The end!! I clearly love the sound of my own voice. My own keyboard? Not sure. This game is fantastic though, so please play it. I need more people to be into IF please please please <3 bye

[hypnolurker]

ORIGINAL IMAGE FOUND HERE

Lily paced nervously towards her boss’ office. It was her first day at this job and she was already being called in for something. She told herself to calm down, that mr Ryans probably just wanted to welcome her to the company and ask how she was settling in. It’s not like she had done something anyway. She took a deep breath as she knocked on his door and was told to enter.

“M-mr Ryans, what do you need?” Lily asked, trying not to sound too anxious.

“Ah yes our newest employee. I hope your first day is going well. Sorry to interrupt it but there’s just one little thing we need to talk about.” He said in a confident and professional tone.

“What is it sir?” She said, feeling a little uneasy at the way his eyes were wandering her body as he spoke to her.

“Well the problem is it would appear that you are not in the full work attire as set out in the company guidelines. I trust you read the dress code before you came here today, did you not?” He questioned her, still leering at her body rather lewdly.

“Of course, but I’m not sure what you mean…What I’m wearing is fairly standard for an office job, in fact I saw several of the men wearing something similar…” She argued.

“But there is clearly a piece missing. Try your best to remember. Use that pretty little head of yours.” He said in a demeaning manner.

Putting the superiority and disrespectful news of what he just said aside Lily suddenly realised what he was talking about. “You mean the….collar? I thought that was some kind of misprint or you meant a shirt collar or-” she was cut off by the smiling mr Ryans shaking his head and chuckling.

“Silly girl. It’s no mistake. You’re not wearing your collar. Luckily there’s a spare one on my desk for you right there. Put it on.” He ordered, voice becoming notably more stern as he did so.

“Seriously?” Lily responded in disbelief. He was genuinely asking her to put on what she could clearly see was a collar and leash designed for a dog. It seemed too ludicrous to be a part of the work uniform and none of the men she had met had been wearing one. This seemed extremely peculiar to Lily and she hesitated to do as he asked.

“Put it on, Lily. You don’t want to be punished, do you?” He said loudly. It was clear he was serious.

Swallowing nervously Lily grabbed the collar on the desk and held it in her hand. It was a bit heavier than it looked but the leather was soft and smooth with a vibrant red colour to it which would surely make it quite noticeable wrapped around her neck. She looked up to her boss, who was staring at her and waiting, before she raised the open collar to her throat and slowly tightened the straps until it was pressing against her skin. Just tight enough that she was aware of it clinging to her throat but not tight enough to obstruct her breathing. Making sure the straps were done up she saw her boss grin in satisfaction.

Calmly he walked towards her until he was stood directly in front of her and then he grasped the leash dangling from her neck. “Very good.” He praised. “Now just let your body drop down.” He commanded as he began to tug downwards on the leash with increasing force.

Lily wasn’t sure what was happening but as the collar tugged harder and harder she felt her knees weaken until eventually she couldn’t help but obey and she lowered steadily until she was on her knees in front of him. It was rapidly becoming difficult to think as the office started spinning around her. She felt more and more dizzy and dazed, raising her head carefully until she was gazing up at her boss who now loomed over her impressively. Perhaps the collar was too tight? Maybe it was cutting off air supply and she was about to pass out, she reasoned as she stared up at her boss and her eyes were glazing over.

“Doesn’t it feel right to be down there on your knees, Lily?” He asked in a deep voice which somehow seemed to bounce around Lily’s head in a way it previously had not. Unable to think of a proper response she simply nodded submissively. Her thoughts were still warped and for whatever reason it seemed easiest to her if she just nodded.

“You belong there. Below me. Don’t you?” He asked and once again she responded with a nod. This time she was quicker to agree.

“Your place in this office is below men. Your job is to serve men.” He told her. His words echoing in her head, a part of her wanted to question it. It felt wrong. She felt…offended…she wasn’t below men…she wasn’t…she nodded obediently and those thoughts of anger faded. It was best just to nod and agree with what her boss was telling her. After all he was a man and it was her job to serve men. That sounded right.

“You are the office plaything.” She was the office plaything. It made so much sense. She hadn’t been given any responsibilities yet and it must be because her real responsibilities were the stiff cocks of her male coworkers who were so tense and in need of somewhere to empty their balls into. It was at this point that Lily became transfixed with her boss’ pants. So close in front of her, hidden just under those professional pants was his superior cock. She stared down at his crotch intently as she leaned in just a little, so close now she could faintly smell his masculine scent. Her mouth watered slightly.

“Now Lily, one more note on the dress code. It doesn’t say anywhere that the female employees are allowed to wear panties now, does it?” Her boss asked.

Snapping out of her cock-daze she shook her head no and after a few seconds she understood what he was telling her and took her pants and underwear off obediently.

“Elbows and knees. Stick out that ass.” He ordered concisely and Lily moved unthinkingly into the position he wanted without any hesitation. Making sure her pert young ass was raised and exposed as requested.

After running his rough hand over her bare bottom as if he was admiring a fine piece of craftsmanship, her boss lifted his hand and with a fluid motion brought his palm slamming into her exposed cheek with a loud slap. She gasped in shock as she felt the sting of his spanning but at the same time there was an overwhelming sense of submissive pleasure. Like this was exactly where she was meant to be. Elbows to the ground with drool leaking form her gaping mouth as her boss administered a firm spanking. She squirmed in delight and whined needily.

“In this office we like to keep our fucktoys wet, whimpering and stuffed. Here’s something to keep those hot fuckholes of yours full while you’re not being used.” He explained as she felt something being inserted into her glistening pussy. She moaned softly and drooled even more as it slid its way inside pleasantly.

Once he had plugged her up and given her a few additional swats for fun and good measure, her boss sent her back out to her workstation to get to work on the undoubtedly hard, horny cocks tucked away in her coworkers pants. He knew Lily would make a fantastic fucktoy.