#s3 I'm rooting for you

[lornaka]

Caged

[zee-has-commitment-issues]

Ok well I guess I'll just throw Screwed in the trash then.

[dwalendinhetniets]

"Dan is het nu of nooit Patricia"

"Dan is het nooit"

Patricia i love you so much and i am so proud of you. You have been so brave and strong all this time. C'mon here you deserve a massive hug

[ephemeral-winter]

oh damn the mutuals got succession tonight

[maddy-ferguson]

I hate to say it... sometimes we're kinda setting our opinion on something and going 'backwards' from that point when criticizing things and coming to a conclusion. like the bsy trope, we are setting our opinion that bc it is a (harmful) trope, the duffers supposedly put that trope to be subverted... because they cannot possibly be writing something trope-y/stereotypical when they sometimes subvert some things on the show. like in the other cases too-- did the duffers put that photography scene to be subverted later on by not making nancy and jonathan a couple or they did a writing choice as men without realizing how it came off as or bc they genuinely thought it would make the audience sympathize with jonathan in order to write a romantic jncy setup. after all, nancy and jonathan got together despite that scene and they started dating after and bc of that anyways... so...? same as the arguments like mike being secretly gay/bi bc he is straight, then it means he is a stereotype/trope who doesnt virtually have any specific *oppression* going for him compared to the other party members. so ppl are going from that assumption that mike must not actually be hetero bc if he's hetero then that's not subversive and something else has to be going with him (this is not byler doubt, i am just giving an example here in terms of how this sort of logic is being used, i am not saying mike is straight. thanks). but yeah, just because a character is supposed to be designed as more of an 'audience surrogate' for the viewers to relate to as a just bullied nerd kid with an 'every man' trope doesn't mean there is something secretive going on behind or the duffers write that situation to be subverted. and hopper is portrayed as an angry man in s3 who wanted joyce to just get her shit together so they could be a couple, and like... i dont want to dwell on s3 too much bc this ask is getting too long already but you get the point.

yes i get your point. and just i want to make it clear that i wasn't saying the s1 picture thing is something they'd feel the need to rectify/subvert by not making jncy endgame or anything, because obviously that ship has sailed, no one in-universe cares about that damn pic anymore😭 i meant to say jncy happened in spite of that, it was just an example of them writing something a 2023 audience wouldn't approve of (but people were already saying this in 2016) and of nothing coming out of it in the show. depiction ≠ endorsement whatever and jonathan apologizes for it but it really isn't that big a deal in the show when in reality it's like...yikes

but yeah i agree, it's essentially forming an argument in reverse? and i do it too, i feel like it happens simply because by now the biggest most convincing proof is burned into everyone's brain so we're obviously not repeating it 24/7. it's just that the conclusions you come to like that don't mean much on their own lol. but yeah, i know what you mean.

[thefirstlioveyou]

i hate when mike's "romantic love" for el is adored and romanticized when it's really the most anxious and unhealthy form of attachment, but his healthy and secure love for will is just seen as platonic

mike with el:

"i'm scared one day you won't need me anymore."

"but what if she doesn't need me anymore?"

"i can't lose you."

"i can't lose you again."

"i don't know how to live without you." (this is devastating.)

given the circumstances mike was put with with el in s1, his statements of love is more of rooted from trauma rather than actual romantic love. he's constantly afraid of losing her the same way he did in the last episode of s1, especially since he blames himself for it for the way he treated her.

he also feels a sense of self worth from the concept of being with a girl - a girl as cool and superhero-like as el that.... but not because it's EL. that's the problem. this sense of worth comes from being NEEDED, and el NEEDED mike to protect her (at the time of s1). THAT'S what he takes interest about their relationship. mike can't even mention one thing he likes about her that isn't about her powers in his monologue. he can't even tell will one thing when he was venting.

even acknowledged by shawn levy, the duffers and finn, mike simply feels a sense of worth when he's helping/saving someone - that's not necessarily romantic because....

and then we have el's side of this. el had fallen into the same pattern as she did in the lab when it comes to needing someone to rely on. she loses her own self-worth when she's with mike, unable to really identify herself. her "romantic love" for mike roots in a very traumatic place. she didn't even consider him in that way before he kissed her. she saw him as a caregiver (and possible family) - this is why she clings so tightly to him, it's reminiscent of her trauma in that sense. but in s3 and s4, she realizes who she is without mike (or feeling controlled by a relationship)

el's whole arc is not needing to rely on someone anymore, which is contradictory to what mike wants. the puzzle pieces aren't fitting with them!!

mike with will:

"max, dustin, lucas - they're great but they're not you."

"i asked if you wanted to be my friends ... it was the best thing i ever did."

"if anyone knows how to defeat this thing, it's will." (mike trusts will even in a dangerous situation, whereas in s3 he's more anxious for el, despite losing them both before. why? because he felt a sense of responsibility for el, not will.)

"if we both go crazy, we'll go crazy together."

"i didn't say it." "you didn't have to."

what he tells will is often more positive, and never putting himself or others down in the process. there's more trust and security.

"but what about s2? wasn't he scared to lose him?" but he never felt loss of control that season. he never held him back from anything and even insisted on things that could've been dangerous, but there was trust. even comparing his monologue in s2 vs s4, there is a sense of calmness and confidence in his words. he doesn't blabber and just keeps his words short and to the point. there isn't dramatic music build up to intensify the scene. it's intimate and genuine, not a performance.

the whole "you didn't have to" part is SOO underrated. it just proves more of what i'm saying! mike is more secure with will and they simply just get one another, whereas mike and el do not!

he also still acknowledges his other friends and how valuable they are to him, while saying will is different to him. (AND this can be backed up, unlike the s4 monologue. we can see throughout the entire show that this is true, will stands out amongst the rest of his friends to him). one of the big problems mike had in s3 was forgetting friendships and his values for the sake of having a girlfriend.

it's also evidently clear how mike acts with el vs will is very different. mike never brings up his interests with el and instead tries to play cool, tries extra hard to be funny and impress her. (pizza box glasses, the horrendous airport fit, "i like- i like presents too," his weird talking/responding patterns with el at the airport/roller rink)

but the actual mike is nerdy. he's part of the av club. he's into science projects. he's into dnd. he's into figures. literally the moment mike tried showing her his figures she did NOT gaf LMAOO (i understand her priorities lied else where but still, it's a showcase of her lack of interest in mike's hobbies). but will knows these things and takes interest in all of them. will KNOWS mike more than el does.. of course he does, they've known each other since they were 5. you're lying to yourself if you believe mike and el know each other more - they don't even know themselves with each other.

and before i end this, i wanna add this one thing:

"but, if mike and el is platonic even if mike was protective, doesn't this mean that s2 byler was platonic too?" the act of caring for someone is what's platonic. there isn't anything necessarily romantic about it, that's true. but byler is more than just what happened in s1 or s2. byler's love doesn't root from their trauma with all that's going on. mike doesn't feel this connection to will because he went missing - it's love that's grown over time even before they encountered the upside down.

byler isn't real because mike cares about will's life. byler is real because mike separates his relationship with will from his friends, his intimate eye contact, his physical contact, his gentleness, his attentive behavior to will's own behavior/absence, him literally thinking meeting will was the best thing he's ever done.

and mike is still needed by someone the way he wants. will needs him, and not for any reasons related to trauma... simply because will sees the good in mike and who he really is as a person and as a whole. mike brings the best out of will and inspires him.

their love starts from simply knowing and getting each other, whereas mike and el's only begins from unhealthy attachment and trauma on either side. THAT'S the difference. it's nothing more than mike needing to save someone.

anyway i just wanted to point out what i noticed between his dialogue w each person! it's very tough seeing what he says to el viewed as peak romance by certain people, watching his trauma being overlooked for the sake another heterosexual romance. but when he showcases actual secure behavior with another person that happens to be a gay character, they're just friends... not gay at all.

[moonyinpisces]

hi! what are, in your opinion, must-read go fics?

OMG this is the worst thing to ask me, i love to yap about good omens fics like i'm teaching a literature class. i'm so thrilled to have this opportunity, here is my good omens required reading list:

Lie Back and Think of Dinner by jessthereckless (M, 11k) - THE looney tunes sex fic. every time they're intimate, natural disasters happen. it's part of a series, but but this first fic is REQUIRED!! love it, i'll never think of golden syrup the same way ;-) An Angelic Disposition by iamtheenemy (E, 3k) - established relationship, aziraphale uses every tool in his disposal to give crowley what he wants (despite crowley so dedicated to service topping), and it overwhelms him. MUST READ!! you’re not a religious person (but) by isozyme (M, 20k) - very true to the spirit of the show and their eternal refusal to communicate while desperately wanting more. this is THE BEST fic re: divine ecstasy being synonymous to sex for them, which is a killer combination!! roots by darcylindbergh (M, ~10k) - lovely established relationship/south downs fic. it's revealed that aziraphale has always dyed his hair blonde, and the thing that makes this fic VITAL is the acknowledgement that they deliberately choose their presentation and the way the world sees them. more parts of the fandom need to understand this somewhere, a place for us by aglaophonos (T, ~2k) - i'm biased because i love char and her work, but seriously. read this. if you're ever wondering why me and her are constantly talking about 1941 s3, this 1941 continuation fic she wrote encapsulates every reason WHY Lead me to the banquet hall by obstinatrix, wishwellingtons (E, 15k) - i mean. i mean. it's The Cheesecake Fic. why is crowley content to watch aziraphale eat, and how does he cope with that same hunger when aziraphale ISN'T there? you simply have to read this if you haven't, and reread it if you have affection and other cravings by JustStandingHere (E, 30k) - this is THE post s2 fic you need to read. through its historical flashbacks and precarious re-introduction of aziraphale and crowley's relationship following their fight, all through the lens of food... honestly that's what it's all about!

these are what i would consider to be required reading, as in - you will come away from these fics with a better understanding of the canon, which (in my opinion) is what elevates a fic from the rest. but if you'd like to check out the other fics i adore, my bookmarks are where i save every fic i enjoy reading, and it's about 99% good omens so you can always visit that if you're looking for something to read that'll be true to the spirit of the show!!

[emblazons]

forewarning: this is the longest "this is mike's arc and I'm tired of denying it" breakdown i've done in a min (it's def about gay mike bar none so. skip if you want)

I keep reading posts about "where Mike is with his feelings for Will" all across the dash now, and...while I get the idea of wanting a Mike as devastated by not hearing from Will as Will was because Mike's aware he has romantic feelings, *Arya Stark Voice* that's not him?

In the show, Mike Wheeler wears his heart on his sleeve. He is prone to emotionality and doesn't really track his feelings within himself the way Will does—is "less interior," for a lack of a better phrase, which both plays dramatically into how things are playing out with both El and Will and makes it (dare I say it) out of character to believe he's as "hurt by his own hope" as Will is when it comes to mutual feelings.

Let me see if I can explain.

First: I think it's important to keep in mind that, at least with Mike, you get someone who will subconsciously act on "inner truths" before he even realizes they're true about him—and someone who will behave according to whatever external reality deems "correct" until he realizes 1) its bullshit or 2) its not true for him personally. We see this season over season:

First with how he willfully breaks rank with authority (his parents, the police, even the community) first to find Will and then again breaks rank with even his friends to protect Eleven in season 1

Then in S2 when he throws "proper" behavior to the wind (which is even slightly acknowledged in Will's 'don't tell the others' / 'crazy together) to be there for + lowkey confess the depth of his feelings to Will (everyone say thank you shed scene)

Again (though slightly different) in S3, with how there's this bubbling thing being gay he doesn't realize has started to manifest itself—cue that comment the duffer's made forever ago about S3 being about "the monster of puberty," aka when people start to understand their own attractions—until the very end of the season with how he realizes he's not attracted to El

And finally in S4, when he consciouslly knows for a fact he's not into El and tries to hide it—quite poorly, because, as I said, he can only abide a "lie" when he doesn't realize it is one—but hasn't yet realized that the thing bubbling up inside him THIS season (that keeps slipping out without him realizing it) is his attraction to/romantic feelings for Will.

In Season 4 especially, its easy to track how this "I can lie...until I know it is one" affects Mike's romantic prospects; we see plainly that his lying about his feelings to El during the monologue was a failure because the power of Mike's whole character is rooted in the importance of him being true to himself and his heart. Season over season, we've seen that Mike has to be honest with people once he knows what he feels in order for his leadership to be effective—and by S4, he knows he doesn't love El romantically (+ has known for a HOT minute, aka since his little S3 post-kiss revelation)—which is why he tries to skirt around the issue with that "I care for you so much" rather than lie to El's face about his lack of romantic feelings.

Basically: once Mike consciously knows something is not right in either the world or inside himself, he has to act on it...or suffer the consequences of his lack of honesty. But then....what does that have to do with him not being the one "not trying to be in love" with Will?

Despite the fandom urge to deny it even in the wake of The Duffers and Finn Wolfhard themselves telling them it's true: Mike being oblivious to his own feelings, or at least consciously unaware, of his own romantic feelings for Will is a solid amount of what's driving his character's growth right now. Mike "friends don't lie" Wheeler has spent the entirety of this show trying to be as honest as possible with the people around him, and we've clearly seen as of S4 what happens when he isn't honest—the world (quite literally) falls apart.

When it comes to his romantic arc especially, it's important to remember this is true, because it means, through logical deduction, that Mike isn't hiding the fact that he has feelings for Will throughout season 4—he's hiding the fact that he's not in love with his girlfriend the way he's supposed to be, which both plays into the whole forced conforming through-line of the season and explains the crux of his narrative even as we are primarily shown that experience through Will's eyes—unreliable as they are. The thing leaking out of Mike without his knowledge is the fact that he likes boys—but the thing he's consciously hiding and lying about is the fact that he doesn't like girls the way he knows he's supposed to.

Now: does that mean he doesn't have a million subconscious responses to things regarding Will—one's rooted both in his attraction to men and his friendly/romantic/evolving feelings for him? Absolutely not. Half of what drives Mike's S4 narrative was built into his wordless/subconscious actions throughout S3, from the way we see him look disgusted with girls when they're mentioned, the way he take's El's hands off him when she tries to kiss him, and even the way he looks conflicted by her kiss at the very end of the season. Just because Mike is consciously unaware that something is happening to him doesn't mean the thing isn't happening—it just means that Mike himself is oblivious to it.

Even so: Mike being oblivious to the fact that he's attracted to men/in love with Will means he isn't consciously trying to keep himself away from Will—which is clear, if you pay attention to every moment before he gets guilted into remembering he has a GF by Argyle.

Basically, the crux of Mike's own experience with his problems is—

"I don't love El the way I'm supposed to, and it's going to cause problems if I can't do that for everyone I care for,"

not

"I am trying to hide my feelings for boys/Will and have to pretend they aren't there to be normal."

—which is a subtle but critical distinction in understanding both where he is by the end of S4 and where he's headed moving into S5.

Now: I get that it's more fun to imagine a Mike fighting his feelings for Will consciously throughout S4, but....that's Will's story and experience of his feelings, not Mike's. Mike is fighting with his lack of attraction to women more than his attraction to men/Will—which is also why you see it slip out so much despite the time/era/what he knows of what happens to gay men in Hawkins.

If Mike knew he loved Will/boys consciously, he'd be much more afraid of himself and Will than he is even as of the last shot of S4—but he's not, which is shockingly telling if you consider how he already knows what he doesn't feel for Eleven. Once he does know what he feels—his "a-ha" moment about liking Will, the same as his consciously realizing he didn't love El "like that" as of end of S3—it will be impossible for him not to address it in himself...and finally be honest/undo the damage of The Lie he told El (he loved her) during the monologue.

That's the (canonical) trajectory of Mike "The Heart" Wheeler—and why him being oblivious to his feelings for Will, not just "secretly longing without wanting to indulge hope he might have the boy he loves" the way Will is experiencing moving into S5. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[thefatedthoughtofyou]

{ @devondespresso it took me a bit cuz i got a cold but i did it!! Thank you soooo much for the prompt i LOOVVEEDD it!!! It got away from me but i'm really proud of this one!!! }

It's sort of an au mixed with canon. Set after s3 and there's no vecna, so all the upside down stuff is settled and this is where their lives are going (and a little bit of where they've been 😉)! Eddie works at an outdoor haunted house as a scarer in the cornmaze! Steve has a brief panic attack.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN Y'ALL!!!

Steve knew it was a bad idea. Going to a haunted house on a blind date. It's technically not a house, and he vaguely knows the date. Or knew the date. Before she'd ditched him. For her ex. Whom she'd apparently just been using Steve make jealous.

So now here he was. Wandering around a corn maze in the middle of fucking nowhere. In the dark. Surrounded by screams. Of laughter. And terror. And he's taken four right turns now and that can't be right. His chest is feeling a littl tight now. His fingers tingling.

He's not a fan of the dark. And the screams aren't helping. He's fine when he's with people. But the person he'd come with had left him, had had no real interest in him. Just using him. Like always. Who the fuck would have genuine interest in Steve Harrington these days.

He clenches his fist when he sees something in the shadows ahead. It jumps out at the group of girls about 20 feet in front him. They scatter and scream, laughing as they run away hand in hand. The shadow, some creepy fucking scarecrow thing, chases them for a few feet and then stops.

Steve freezes. The scarecrow turns, twitches really, in Steve's direction, arms held out like he's out guarding a field, and then stops moving again. Steve takes a hesitant step. The scarecrow's head twitches, but it stays still. Steve can feel his heart beating in his ears, loud, like a drum. His hand twitches, he wipes it on his thigh and takes another step.

The maze is empty is now, in this area at least. The silence pounding in Steve's ears louder than his heart. He takes a few shallow breaths and starts walking. The scarecrow drops its arms. Steve keeps walking, until his foot hits a root and he trips. His hands hit the ground hard, dirt digging into his palms. A strangled noise crawls out of his throat.

He hears footsteps running toward him. From the direction the scarecrow had been. His heart hammers louder, fingers dig into the dirt as he curls into himself further.

"Please don't- I'm just- I can't-" Steve pants, trying to fend the thing off.

"Whoa whoa hey. It's okay. You're okay. Are you okay?" A gentle, hesitant, hand falls on his shoulder. Steve flinches away, involuntarily, the hand disappears.

"Okay no touching. That's okay. Can you stand? Or like.... sit back maybe? You arm's are shaking pretty bad man. Just try to breathe." A voice says, steady, to his right.

Steve's eyes move in that direction and he sees something on the ground by his hand. Something almost the same color as the dirt he'd fallen in. Steve's blinks, hard, sucks in a few deep breaths. It's a mask. A straw mask. Steve lets out a shuddering breath, lets himself fall back onto his butt in the dirt.

"There we go. Okay. That's better." The same calm voice. And then,

"Harrington?" The voice says, full of disbelief. Steve looks to his right and sees a mop of dark hair and pale skin above an incredibly detailed scarecrow costume.

"Eddie?" Steve feels the tension leave his body almost at once. Eddie says nothing. Just stares at him.

"What?" Steve shakes his head a little, looks into his lap.

"Wha- nothing, sorry. I just- I uh... just a little shocked you remember my name." Eddie says, and it sounds almost like a laugh. Steve frowns, looks at him again.

"We went to school together for like... ever, man." Steve says, still frowning. Eddie shakes his head, wraps his arms around his knees where he's crouched next to Steve.

"No yeah I know. Just... we never talked really. Or anything." Eddie shrugs, he doesn't seem mad. Maybe even seems a little amused.

"Right." Is all Steve can think to say.

"Hey. You think you can stand now? There's some picnic tables right outside here. I can take you. Make sure you make it alright." Eddie pushes himself to his feet, holds his hand out to Steve, smiles when Steve looks up at him. His eyes wide, waiting. Steve swallows heavily, reaches up, takes Eddie's hand, and let's him pull him to his feet.

Eddie guides them out of the corn easily. Let's Steve sit for a minute before going to grab them some water. He comes back with two bottles of water and two corn dogs.

"Thought maybe eating might help." Eddie throws himself onto the bench across from Steve, grabs one of the corndogs and takes a huge bite. Steve snorts a laugh in suprise and grabs the other one, takes a much smaller bite. He watches Eddie eat, his cheeks poofed out like a chipmunk.

Steve waits for Eddie to take another bite, lets him chew as they sit in amiable silence, before he says,

"We have talked before." Steve says, quietly, and takes another bite.

"Hmm?" Eddie hums, his eyes wide, cheeks full, head tilted, he looks a bit like a puppy.

"We've talked. Before. I mean." Steve takes a sip of water, tucks his free hand under his thigh.

"You said we hadn't really talked. But we did talk. A few times." Steve elaborated, smiling down at his lap at the memory.

"Umm. Yeah. Yeah no I know we did. I just-" Eddie swallows, hard, he looks a bit... guilty. He shrugs, takes a drink, picks at the table top with his fingernail.

"I just didn't think you'd remember." Eddie shakes his head, his brows furrowed.

"Didn't think I would remember which one?" Steve asks, trying to coax Eddie out of this shyness. Eddie scrunches his face though, shakes his head again.

"Doesn't matter." He mutters.

"Didn't think I would remember buying weed from you after Billy beat the shit outta me? And the way you gave me a handful of free pain meds?" Steve says, Eddie glances up at him, eyes shining through his bangs.

"Didn't think I'd remember you helping me save a kid from drowning at the pool that summer?" Steve asks.

"He was fine. Just panicking. You did most of the work." Eddie mumbled, his eyes locked on Steve now. Steve nodded, hummed.

"And what about the other time? The first time we talked?" Steve bit his lip, took another sip of water, Eddie staring at him the whole time.

"The- the first time? When- I mean... back then?" Eddie takes a shaking breath, sounding winded the way Steve had been about an hour ago.

"Mhm. Back then. In the woods. At the creek. With the turtles and the crawdads." Steve says, smiles softly at Eddie, watches Eddie blush and look away.

"Kinda hoped you'd forgotten about that one I guess." Eddie whispered, his voice so low Steve barely hears him.

"I didn't. Don't think I ever could. I definitely wouldn't want too." Steve bites his lip, worries it between his teeth. Eddie blinks at him.

"W-why not? I mean you could've-" Eddie snaps his mouth shut, his eyes looking a bit watery as he looks at Steve.

"I'd never do that. I'd never tell anyone. We made a promise remember?" Steve sits his elbow on the table, holds his pinky up, and feels relief wash over him when Eddie smiles.

"Yeah. Just us and the turtles and the crawdads. Just between us." Eddie sets his own elbow on the table and hooks his pinky with Steve's.

"I think about that day a lot. Is that bad to say? Weird I mean? I don't wanna make you uncomfortable." Eddie says in a rush, Steve tightens his pinky around Eddie's, hold it fast.

"You don't make me uncomfortable. Kind of the opposite actually. It's always been that way. I feel... nice. When I'm around you. It's like you clear my head." Steve shakes his head, smiles down at his lap. A group of girls run by laughing, hand in hand, stopping by the concession cart. Eddie tries to pull away, tries to hide. Steve keeps their fingers hooked but lowers their hands to the table, out of sight in the dark.

"That's a new one. Usually I just annoy people. Kinda why this is the perfect job for me. I get to annoy people all night." Eddie teases, wiggles his wrist so that he and Steve's hands shake. Steve snorts, shakes his head.

"And yet. You still calmed me down." Steve bites his lip again. Watches Eddie do the same across from him.

"I guess. We keepin this one a secret too?" Eddie asks, his eyes on their linked pinkies. Steve unlinks them, slides his hand into Eddie's.

"I dunno. No turtles around." Steve says, tapping his fingers against Eddie's wrist.

"No crawdads either." Eddie says, his lips tilting at the corners.

"Nope. Just us." Steve confirms.

"Well maybe we should... have a meeting?" Eddie wonders, his voice going a little high.

"A meeting?" Steve asks, frowning dramatically.

"Mhm. At the creek. Get the turtles and the crawdads up to date. Keep them in the loop an all." Eddie explains, his fingers curling up around Steve's wrist, his eyes darting around Steve's face, like he's looking for something.

"We wouldn't want them out of the loop. That'd be terrible." Steve agrees, nodding and wiggling their hands like Eddie had done.

"Mhm. Yeah." Eddie hums, his teeth sinking into his lip to stop the smile threatening to spread.

"EDDIE! BACK IN THE MAZE! NOW!"

Their hands fly apart, Eddie nearly falls off the bench he'd been sat on. He stumbles to his feet and spins toward the shout.

"ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I WAS HELPING A GUEST IN NEED!" he shouts back, arms flailing dramatically. He turns back to Steve, cheeks flushed red.

"Heh. Sorry. I have to... go. Back to work. But um... we could... I mean if you want. If you were serious. I could- or you could? If you want." Eddie stammers, grabbing for his mask and holding it to his chest as he slowly backs away, step by swiveling step. Steve smiles at him, brightly.

"I'm free on Thursday." Steve says, cheeks hot.

"I love Thursdays!" Eddie yells, looks around, laughs breathily.

"I can pick you up at seven."

"Seven's great! Love seven!" Eddie calls, waving his mask over his head.

"EDDIE! NOW!"

"I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONVERSATION AND AM GOING OH MY GOOOODDD!" Eddie screams into the dark toward the shouting voice. He waves to Steve, yanks his mask back on over his head, and runs toward the maze.

"See you Thursday!" Eddie yells, turning to wave at Steve before ducking back into the corn. Steve laughs, drags his hand through hair, his palm and wrist missing the touch of Eddie's skin.

He walks to his car slowly, a smile on his lips as he remembers that day in the woods, by the creek, where he met a boy catching turtles and crawdads. The day they played in the water til the sun began to set, catching critters and setting them loose again. The day two sad boys found each other, and shared their first kiss in the creek before running home, laughing into the dark.

[cc--2224]

older hunter x reader pregnant in pabu

Next Steps

Pairing: Hunter x F! Reader

Summary: Following the events on Mount Tantiss, Hunter and the rest of the Bad Batch are finally able to relax and enjoy the time they have, you and Hunter decide that means planning next steps together.

Warnings: All fluff, slight anxiety mentions, obviously pregnancy mentions as that was the request, maybe slight S3 Finale spoilers?

Word Count: 1.3k

Notes: Thank you so much for sending a request, anon!! I really hope you enjoy it!! As a reminder, my requests are going to be open for a bit so send me some if you'd like! :)

Taglist: None, let me know if you'd like to be added

Masterlist

Ever since they had landed on Pabu for the last time, they had all finally begun to relax, to plant roots, to get to know the villagers. Even Crosshair had seemed more open to socializing with the locals, to learning their trades.

Hunter had always had trepidations about getting too comfortable. 

Back when you had first met, a few years ago now, he expressed that he wanted to get adjusted, to finally sit down and relax but he always felt as if he was looking over his shoulder.

When the island had been attacked by the Empire, you understood what he meant. But everyone was still determined to keep each other, and their mercenary friends, safe.

Part of you feared that when they left to go get Omega back that it was the last time you would ever see them, whether that meant that they wouldn't put Pabu in danger and kept themselves away, or worse. You didn't want that, not only because you liked having them around, liked hearing their stories, sharing meals, but because you knew that you had developed feelings for Hunter in the short time you knew each other. 

You couldn't recall a time where you were more worried for someone's safety than you were after they had left Pabu to find Omega.

You wanted to protect him, to make him feel safe on the island, but you also knew that with everything they had experienced, that was easier said than done.

It only became more difficult once you began to fear you'd lose him for good.

So when they finally returned, you decided to throw caution to the wind. You didn't want anymore missed opportunities, he had to know how you felt about him.

You waited for them to leave the Imperial shuttle, and as soon as he emerged on the gangplank, you ran to him, wrapping your arms around him and crashing your lips into his.

He was rightfully surprised, but after the initial shock wore off, you felt his arms on your back, pulling you into him and feeling like they were going to crush you. He kissed back with desperation and relief washing over him.

When you finally broke apart, you held his face in your hands while his hands stayed firmly on your waist. You felt your eyes water, and you saw the same in him. 

"I'm home." He finally said. "And I'm never leaving you again."

It had been years since then, and true to his word, he never left you. He eventually moved his belongings into your house, and the two of you settled into the next stages of your domestic life together. You got to watch as your lives seemed to fall into place. The island changed around you, improvements, infrastructure, villagers’ families growing. Hunter began growing out his beard, no longer concerned about hating the feeling of facial hair against the helmet that he rarely ever put on. 

Things became simple, time slowed, your lives could finally begin.

You still remembered the conversation you had one afternoon, sitting on the front porch with him, watching Omega play with Lyana, Batcher, and the other three clone children. 

"Do you want one of our own?" He had asked, looking at you earnestly.

You raised an eyebrow, "Want one what?"

"A kid."

You smiled at him and glanced over to the kids playing.

"We have Omega," you reminded him and he chuckled.

"I know, and she'll always be our kid, but she's growing up. Won't be long until she starts living her own life." He looked down at his lap and you reached over to hold his hand, you knew how much the thought of Omega leaving upset him.

"I don't think she'd mind having a little brother or sister." He said when he looked back at you.

"No, I don't either." You drew him close and kissed him on his lips, showing him your agreement to his idea. 

— — —

"Hunter? Are you home?" You called out from the entryway to your house. You were met with silence and shrugged.

Must have gone out.

You had gone to the doctor that morning on Hunter's insistence. He had been hovering around you for a few weeks, as if he had been waiting for a shoe to drop. He didn't know what it was about you that was different, something in your scent, or a change in your pulse, something that he could sense but couldn't pinpoint the source.

You knew better than to argue with his keen senses, but you couldn't help but get a little annoyed with his overprotection.

The doctor had confirmed that you were pregnant, only a few weeks along, and you nearly cried at the news. You couldn't wait to tell Hunter, even if you knew he'd tell you he knew you should have gone to the doctor earlier. 

You decided to wait for him at home. You put on some tea and grabbed your datapad before sitting on the couch.

He finally walked through the door with some produce from the market, smiling at you when he saw you. He walked past you, but not before kissing the top of your head, and left the groceries in the kitchen.

"I went to the doctor's this morning." You did your best to keep your tone level, ambiguous.

It worked, seeing as how his cheerful demeanor had vanished completely when he poked his head out.

"...And?"

You stood up and looked at him. "Hunter, I–" your voice wavered, partially due to excitement, but partially due to nerves.

"I'm pregnant." 

His eyes widened as he looked into yours, then down to your stomach, then back up to your face. "You– What?"

Tears started forming in the corners of your eyes. "We're going to have a baby!"

He crossed the room before you could even register that he had moved. His arms circled your waist and you felt yourself being lifted off the ground and spun.

When he placed you back down, he pulled you to him and kissed you. Tears began rolling down your face as you laughed into the kiss. 

He looked at you and swept his thumbs across your cheeks, wiping away the tears even though his own nearly betrayed him.

You didn't hear the door open, but you heard Omega's voice ring out behind you.

"Is everything okay?"

You both looked at her, you smiled and nodded before opening your arm for her to join your hug. 

She did without hesitation.

"Omega," Hunter began. "Remember how I asked if you'd be alright if there was another kid running around?"

She looked at him and nodded, but then her eyes widened in realization and she looked at you, then Hunter, and then back to you.

"You're not–"

"I am." More tears fell as she wrapped her arms around you. 

"Congratulations!" Her smile widened as she looked at both of you. "I have to go tell Crosshair and Wrecker! They owe me ten credits each!"

She ran out the door before you could stop her and you looked at Hunter and shook your head.

"The whole island will know before long." You sighed.

"Yeah." He nodded.

"Are you ready?" You asked him cautiously.

He looked at you, thinking for a moment. "Honestly, I don't know. I mean, it's been a while since we've settled in here, but sometimes it still feels like the peace isn't going to last. I know that's just my own anxieties, but it's hard to shake the feeling, you know?"

You nodded and looked down. He put his arm around your shoulder and kissed your temple.

"But, we have each other through this. I won't let anything happen to you, or our kid. So I think I am. It helps knowing how much support they'll have when they get here. And how wonderful of a mother they're going to have." 

You leaned into his chest. "And father." 

You felt a laugh rumble from him. This was the next step for both of you, and it was a scary step to take, but despite Hunter's worries, you knew you were both ready to face this together. 

[eddiezpaghetti]

Okay, so my experience with Stranger Things is a weird one.

I didn't care when it first came out, started to watch it out of "might as well" in 2020, wasn't interested in it enough to make it past S2, forgot about it outside of going "oh, hey, cool, there's a lesbian in it now, I guess," in S3, got really annoyed when "Running Up That Hill" got popular from it because it was a song I listened to on fucking loop after one of my best friends died in high school and I fully expected its appearance in the show to ignore the whole survivor's guilt theme of the song (and was very happy to learn later that it did the exact opposite of ignoring the lyrics), saw people drawing Eddie, suddenly got a lot more interested, watched just the fourth season like a fucking psychopath because I was seriously only there for Eddie, then got interested enough to start the show over properly, having mostly forgotten what I did watch of the show before.

And let me tell you something from the perspective of someone who started with the complete fourth season, who wasn't there from the start, who wasn't tainted by ship goggles or this internal battle of hope and despair, who wasn't theorizing about what the painting could be or expecting Mike and Will to kiss when Volume 2 happened or rooting for Mike and Eleven's relationship to go down in flames or whatever the fuck. Just someone who went blind into Season 4.

It's really fucking obvious that Will and Mike are gonna be endgame.

Like holy fuck. It's so fucking blatant I don't even know why people are nervous.

No sane fucking person would shoot this scene this way if they wanted the audience to care about El and Mike as a couple. Despite being all blurry in the background, Will's reaction to what's happening here is smackdab in the fucking middle, clearly showing that the important part is what's going through his head here. What he's feeling. It's like the opposite of that scene from Kingdom Hearts II where Sora and Riku reunite and Kairi just fucking vanishes into the aether while it's happening because, despite the fact that she was standing between them when the scene began, she doesn't matter to the scene, so she's just kind of gone when the camera angle changes. Will could have been behind one of their heads, or so far in the distance he blends in with the background, but he's not. He's so obvious that despite being massively blurred out, he's still the first goddamn thing you look at. What, you think that's an accident? You think he's in the middle of this dramatic fucking scene because of a mistake? He basically has a big flashing neon arrow pointing at him with "THIS IS THE POINT" being screamed through a megaphone.

And then this?

They're paired up like they're taking fucking prom pictures. Each one of these pairs is so fucking close to one another and so fucking far from everyone else. It's not, "Oh, they're standing vaguely near each other in a group shot," it's fucking Noah's Ark out here. Again, there's no way to take this as an accident. It's not just a framing issue. If they wanted to make the shot look balanced while still not hiding anyone else behind El, they would have scattered people around much more naturally. Even if they wanted to keep Nancy with Jonathan and Hopper with Joyce, there's so much room on that hill for three people to stand on El's left and three on her right. But they didn't do that. They put Mike and Will together on purpose in the most obvious way possible.

Like I get that coming up with crackpot theories is fun in and of itself and I'm not blaming anyone for having fun. I totally get the appeal of arguing a point and reaching for every stupid little thing to pull into it because it's like a game, okay? I've done that. But if you're trying to actually convince someone (whether it's someone who wants to believe or someone who's pissed at the very idea that Mike and Will could be in love), stay away from blue and yellow lights, stay away from costume design, stay away from the existence of closets in backgrounds. And don't worry about whether Mike's gay or bi when he's in love with Will either way. I'll give you a little tip about persuasion: You're only as strong as your weakest argument. Even if you've got strong stuff in there, too, the person you're trying to convince is going to dismiss anything you say as complete insanity the second you start going on an entire tangent about the shape of a character's fucking pocket.

Sometimes, clothes are just clothes. Sometimes, there's a closet in the background because it helps establish that a character is in a bedroom. Sometimes, blue and yellow are just a couple of colors that look nice together. And sure, it might be set designers and costume designers and cinematographers smirking and winking at the audience from behind the camera. But if the show was just those things, instead of those things in the context of everything else, they wouldn't be saying anything of note.

But this?

This tells a story all on its own. Someone with no context can look at this and automatically assume that each paired person is standing with someone they care about deeply, seeking comfort as they watch some sort of disaster unfold. And yeah, romantic couples usually come in twos, and we live in an amatonormative society, so that's going to be the first association anyone makes seeing a bunch of people paired off.

It's the same reason you look at this

And go, "Oh..."

"Those two are probably a couple."

And I genuinely don't understand how people could have watched S4 Vol. 2 and gotten scared. Because as someone who went in with no investment whatsoever, I just looked at these two--

--and went, "Oh, those two are a couple. Good for them." And I moved on. Shut up about the trees for five seconds and just see the forest for what it is.

Oh, and if you're still nervous? Little thing from a storyteller here: You don't leave a hanging thread like "Will confessed his romantic feelings for Mike by projecting them onto El, but Mike either didn't understand or at least didn't say he understood," without coming back to that later. That's Chekov's gun hanging on the wall, babes. It's gonna fire at some point. If Mike was going to reject Will's feelings, if they weren't relevant, they would have had that discussion in Argyle's van. There'd be no reason to leave you in suspense.

[genericpuff]

I'm honestly amazed by how well you can imitate the LO S3 art style! Have you always been good at this sort of thing or is it a skill you developed due to your work as a tattoo artist?

ahhh thank you, but ima let you in on a little trade secret -

it's literally just referencing LMAO which is a valuable skillset to have! but one that I think a lot of folks tend to overlook because they think "learning to draw" means "I need to be able to draw everything perfectly from imagination!" Which sure, learning how to draw things without needing references might be cool, but it's ultimately not the sole defining feature of a "good artist" and I think there's frankly way too much emphasis put on "drawing without references" these days because it creates this unrealistic expectation of what an artist is. Referencing is part of the process! It's important! And it's a valuable skill to have so that you can actually grow your skills beyond your own limits! Referencing is as important to the process of creating art as research is to the process of writing, you can only produce so much new stuff if you're not taking in new stuff alongside it.

Though I use this skill a lot in tattooing as well, it's mostly rooted in my animation schooling which broke me out of the habit of drawing purely from imagination and taught me how to properly reference other material for educational purposes.

And I'm sure there are people in audience right now gasping at the fact that I simply cropped a bunch of different shots of Minthe from S3 and rearranged them like some surgical madman playing with body parts-

-but this is like, the actual majority of the process when it comes to learning other art styles and this process is taught as a skill in a lot of art schools because it forces you to draw what's there rather than what you think is there. This is the basis of master studies, to learn the techniques of other artists by trying to mimic them as closely as possible. Don't know what tools that artist used specifically? Try to recreate the work anyways with your best guess. Even if you only get close but not perfect, you'll still likely learn a lot along the way and may even develop some brand NEW techniques that weren't present in the original work you're studying from.

Imagination is necessary to the creative process, but it's only part of that process, you can't suddenly learn how to draw the way other artists draw through imagination alone because your imagination is limited purely by your own lived experiences. Our brains don't come pre-installed with these skills, they can't just magically unlock the capability to "do the thing". Just like how we have to learn to follow recipes as a means to becoming a baker or learn to read the alphabet to learn how to read and write, we have to learn how to draw what we see and reference the material around us if we truly want to expand our own innermost knowledge which will allow us to draw from imagination.

Here are some other examples of studies I've done, such as my attempts to learn the art style of The Doctor Foxglove Show:

As well as a background study from S1 of LO:

And of course here are a handful of the shitloads of studies I've done to try and "figure out" how to draw Hades and Persephone from S1 of LO:

Aaaand just for the fun of it, here are some completely non-LO studies, like the ones I did of Kazuma Koda's background work and Akihiko Yoshida's character designs for Nier: Automata:

And this sorta rotoscoped ??? animatic of Mitsuhiro doing the opening jig for Still Feel by Half Alive which is 100% not done and probably never will be LOL

I'm always progressively doing studies of both LO and other media in this way so that I can update my knowledge and continue to improve my skillset.

Though, despite my best efforts to mimic the original creator's style, works like Rekindled will always have my own stylizations present, as that's just an inevitable consequence of it being made by myself and Banshriek (and the fact that we just refuse to draw worse to look more like LO because jfc so much of LO's original art, even the stuff we love, is rooted in Rachel's trial and errors lmao), but that's a feature, not a bug :') <3

So the answer is yes, the Minthe S3 redraw was done through skills I developed over time, though not necessarily through tattooing, simply through learning how to actually practice properly beyond "drawing a lot". And you can too! Draw lots, but also remember that your brain isn't naturally just going to "get better" at whatever you're trying to achieve just because you really want to achieve it. I try to avoid the mantra of "just practice" because it oversimplifies what's truly necessary to learning - having something to learn from outside of your own imagination. If you don't learn how to practice properly, then you'll just wind up repeating the same mistakes and reinforcing the same bad habits over and over again.

All that's to say, if you want to learn how to draw like a certain artist, try and recreate their art for yourself ;0 (but like also please for the love of god remember that it's for EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES, I shouldn't have to tell y'all not to copy directly off other artists' work for your own because that's just deadass stealing lmao) I know this enters the ethical dilemma of tracing, and whether or not it's a "valid" way to learn, but there's a lot of virtue in learning through referencing other artists and building new skills through them. I'm sure folks will argue that it's a 'crutch' or 'training wheels', but that's all often being touted from the perspective that crutches and training wheels... are automatically bad things and aren't meant to help people ?

Like obviously if you want to create your own thing that isn't purely "living in the shadow" of the works that inspired you, you WILL have to make that leap into the unknown. But that leap's a lot less scary to make when you have a parachute.

[feuilletonette]

Bridgerton S3, they could never make me hate you.

I had been consuming a lot of contents albeit very much revolves around these two darlings, Penelope and Colin. I just couldn't get enough. I was simply never the same after Polin. Never.

It had been pressing weeks when I felt the shed of my old skin upon the compounding insinuations of loss affection toward men of haunting past. In which with all their might would do everything to sabotage the relationship, to run screaming and crying and throwing up to absolutely defy these insurmountable feelings, one could label within the word, love. Until they are utterly consumed by these thoughts and overwhelming need to express such affections where the only way to ever cope results to angry, passionate confessions of love.

I am wild to witness the stark difference of how we see Colin did none of those things because in my conclusion, he wasn't as emotionally constipated and the first three leads and it is such a refreshing medium to see without ever actually stripping him flat. That is what I want: a tender, loving, down bad softboy declaring that if his purpose was to love a woman as great as me, then he shall be a very fulfilled man, indeed.

The argument that he didn't say the 'I love you' enough debate was, in surface, quite understandable but if you start to analyse closely, after the proposal, almost every interactions he's had revolved around finding an opportunity to express his love and admiration to/for Penelope, especially in his conversation with his siblings.

He didn't need to scream his confession, he'd been attuned and embracing it (enthusiastically so) once realised, that is why he was never repulsed of having to speak of it the first place! In fact, he even actively communicates it in the most beautiful way possible.

He sought advice from Violet, followed Anthony straight away when he told him that he should tell her he loves her. Listen to Kate's marital advice. He's open, he's receiving help, he's trying to process his hurt and overcoming his triggers. He's learning to do better but it wasn't perfect. He made mistakes along the way but eventually led him to the path of acceptance.

He wanted to love her better, despite of and in spite of. Colin had always been introspective so when he had discovered the root of his actions, he gathered up the courage to be vulnerable and admit it to Penelope. That he was feeling envious because he never truly felt good enough. But this was recieve to be affirmed of his inherent worth. The thing I love about this couple is that they felt so human and that propelled them to move past such damaging beliefs of themselves to do better.

Don't even get me started with Penelope, I could make dissertations of how well she was written for all anyone could care. Miss girl is ambitious, I love how her mental glow-up was able to comply how well her physical glow-up was executed also. In the end, she needn't to choose between herself and the man she loves.

She can be both independent and cherished by a man, a man who constantly worked on himself because she mattered more than his ego. She may have wavered after various discouragement and she had tried, so so hard to give up her success but she couldn't. Whistledown is something she wouldn't compromise as it would mean betraying a part of herself. So I was glad that upon fighting for it, the people around her soon realised that this is something they could not deny and something they should fight with her not off of her. I'm glad that the show was able to depict that Penelope could have both. Being a succesful, career-driven woman should not cost you your love, or at least the right one. And it's a powerful message to have.

I also love this passage of weilding her power into more productive causes such as giving voice to the voicless. I hope we see more of it for the upcoming season.

Though, of course it's not perfect, with pacing issues and subplots with purpose I had hard time figuring. But if there's one thing I couldn't stress enough, season 3 has so much depth and I was very glad to dive upon the narrowest trenches of it.

It was so beautifully done and that is why I also stand that Polin have the strongest foundation so far as they navigate their biggest block and be the best versions of themselves together, and occasionally, with the help of one another.

P.S I am only talking about the show Polin, I hated the book, but I suppose this would be for another post.

[thephantomcasebook]

Ok, since the disappointing helaemond leak was on my tumblr feed, I am now rooting for Alys to see some love inside Aemond's heart in S3...maybe that's the twist! I just want Aemond to have someone love him next season! Thoughts?

Listen, I don't think Helaena doesn't love him.

Go back and watch their scenes.

Helaena is genuinely happy to see Aemond when he first comes into her room. She's smiling and it seems almost like she's going to invite him to come sleep with her - not sexually.

It's only when he needs and wants her to fight that Helaena turns. And she doesn't resist Aemond, it's Alicent who instigates the physical altercation over Helaena.

Later, we see them again, in private, away from Alicent. And we see that they have a secret meeting place, and that they have very frank conversations that show Helaena is more lucid than she lets on to anyone but Aemond.

She's angry about the person he's become with power, and what he did to their brother. He's emotional, because, the woman he's loved his entire life - for the first time - doesn't understand him. For the first time he feels regret for what he has done, because, its Helaena that is chastising him - the only person in his life that matters.

I think we might get a ghost love triangle between Helaena/Aemond/Alys, because, we now know that Helaena is connected to the Weirwoods. Which means that Helaena is going to be communicating with Aemond through Harrenhal.

So pump your breaks, man. There's a lot of subtext to unpack in these scenes and there's a lot more going on under the surface than people think.

Yes, Helaena is mad about what happened to Aegon. But Helaena also knows that She and Aemond are doomed to die together. That's what is bonding them, why they're close. Because she knows they're destined to leave the world together. It's Aegon's burden, Aegon's ambition, and it is not her problem. She and Aemond are destined to live and die together and there is nothing that Aegon nor Alicent can do about it.

It just them, alone.

You get what I'm putting down out here?

[markantonys]

I truly think WoT is a well written, well acted show but you never see praise for it like that from most of the fandom (unless I'm following the wrong people). You see people praising GoT and HoTD like it's the best thing ever when I'm bored most of the time. Never anything similar said for WoT. I hope it does make it big in following seasons and gets more appreciation cause I truly think the show is underrated

i haven't seen GOT or HOTD so i can't speak to any comparisons there, but i agree that WOT is underrated! it feels like most of the viewership is either casuals who aren't Online About It and hardcore book fans who spend all their energy discussing book vs. show topics - not always in a negative way, i'm also including in here the show-positive discussions about improvements on the books or speculation for future seasons, but even these discussions are so rooted in book vs. show land that not a lot of people stop to discuss the show in a vacuum. it's often about "how is it similar to and different from the books?" and rarely about appreciating the show as its own standalone work.

which i think could be a difference with GOT and HOTD, they probably have a larger number of hardcore show-only fans who are Online About It discussing show-only things in detail such as writing and acting, whereas in my personal experience, WOT online fandom spaces are VERY dominated by book fans and they aren't talking as much about show-only things, or when they do, it's just to mistake "i personally don't like this change from the books" for "this is objectively bad writing and everybody who has ever watched the show agrees that the writing of the entire show is bad" lmao WOT reader fandom spaces have a reeeeaaaally skewed sense of the quality of the show's writing because they can't let go of their "similar to the books=good writing, different from the books=bad writing" baggage and also because they struggle to understand that good writing For TV is often very different from good writing For Books.

there's definitely also at play the societal tendency to praise miseryporn and characters who are terrible people as the creme de la creme of writing and acting. WOT has trauma and misery, but doesn't revel in it in a gratuitous way, and it has very flawed and complex characters, but the protagonists are all ultimately good people. it's a hopeful and uplifting story at its core and a story that wholeheartedly embraces its fantastical elements and wants to bring a sense of fun and escapism to viewers alongside the deep emotional stuff, and those are rarely taken as seriously as gritty cynical stories. hence, WOT is not viewed as a ~serious~ show worthy of having its acting & writing praised in the same way that GOT and HOTD are.

but WOT does do pretty good viewership numbers despite being kinda under the radar in the cultural consciousness, i think. i could see it gaining more attention in upcoming seasons as we enter the territory of the books that most people agree is the best portion of the series, and if they are finally able to do a proper promo cycle for s3 and beyond. from what i've seen, prime shows are never anywhere close to the level of promo netflix shows do (which is TOO much in some cases, rip to the poor bridgerton cast having to do about five thousand hours of interviews for s3), but WOT s1 came out during the covid zoom interview era and s2 came out during the strikes, so it's not hard to imagine that those 2 promo cycles might've been unusually low even for prime's standards and s3 might have a bit more. we shall see!

but at the end of the day, it's also kinda nice keeping wotshow as a hidden gem because greater online fandom attention would also mean an increase in insufferable takes haha i often find that smaller fandoms are a much more pleasant atmosphere than bigger ones!

[spywhitney]

Why I'm Not Buying New Tickets for the Sydcarmy Train (For Now Anyway)

So yesterday I re-watched S3 (aside from EP10. I didn't feel like watching Sydney having a panic attack again) so I can write this with a fresher perspective.

For a little context, S3 dropped at 2am Thursday for where I was and I couldn't get to sleep because A) I was so excited to watch it and B) It was more hot than usual so that kept me awake so I watched it all immediately.

My main stance is not that I don't necessarily doubt sydcarmy will happen, but rather I don't like the idea of it as much as I did before S3. Now, to my points:

Season 4 May Be the Last Season I believe it will be, or if we're lucky (???), an extra season. With how the story has gone thus far, and how the actors are being catapulted into the spotlight, I doubt there will be time for a satisfying sydcarmy ending.

Carmen Is No Longer Attractive as a Male Lead

The bear is a show of flawed characters that we can all connect, sympathise and root for in one way or another.

I had a hard time finding the Carmy from the previous seasons, or enough of the good traits that made him sympathetic enough for me to overlook his unsavoury ones. The yelling, ignoring, the disrespect, the arrogance, the abandonment, the neglect (and whatever else I haven't said) directed at Sydney (and everyone else, but she gets the worst of him the most often) doesn't make me want to see them kiss.

The first word that came to mind is gross. Could you imagine if a friend explained what Sydney has went through with Carmen then revealed they're getting into a romantic relationship with him? There's a certain ick factor that can't be undone completely by longing stares, chemistry and hundreds of analysis posts for me.

If being around your "soulmate" is leading to deteriorating health, it's not worth it. Smells too much like struggle love to me, and I'm not fond of the implications of that.

Dwindling Faith in the Execution of Sydney’s Character I held an expectation that S3 will be heavily focused on Sydney, but she was side-lined once again, and not for characters or arcs that I and a lot of viewers wanted to see. (Not to mention how this season was in general).

This season was mostly rising action and conflict, and with that we've seen Sydney at her lowest and have to wait to see if she will be victorious before the end (the word victory was first said by Sydney and one other person so far in the show, so I hope that's a good sign).

I don't want to sit through watching a black woman be a workhorse/emotional support/"work wife" to a white guy, or just anyone really. There was microscopic if non-existent reciprocity or at the bare minimum acknowledgement of what Sydney has done for everyone and the restaurant (and not just from Carmen).

Carmen Has to Change More Than Sydney Does His flaws far out weigh the severity of Sydney's. With S3, him not being okay is making Sydney not be okay, this is something I was concerned about in S2 with all the parallels, while some are sweet/romantic, others like the throwing up, the ticket machine and now the panic attacks, are too largely negative to be overlooked.

Saying that Sydney is becoming Carmen is not a stance I agree with (or want to believe), but for the show so far he's been giving her more problems, more stress and not enough care, respect, love to make up for it. Sydney has a flaw of not being vulnerable and expressing herself. It affects herself and her relationships with others, but not to the point where they're worse of. Carmen's flaws are negatively affecting Sydney's health, while despite her flaws, Sydney's strengths positively affect Carmen without fail. See where the problem is? Sydney has nothing to gain (and so far, has gained nothing substantial) from being around Carmen in any capacity, while Carmen has continued to benefit from her presence.

Again, it's kind of hard to root for them when romance involves people who compliment each other, make each other better. "You make me better at this." This is certainly true for Carmen, but Sydney? I don't see how this has been illustrated, or at most to a significant extend to where the negative aspects of their dynamic are out trumped. (Sidenote: At least Claire was getting lovingly touched and getting fucked by Carmen while Sydney was building up their dream restaurant alone. That's some nasty work.)

Sydney Deserves a Changed Carmen, Not a Struggling One Or a different love interest altogether. (Luca, where are you at? My condolences to the sydmarcus crowd, they really burned your ship in S2 then let it sink in S3.)

This connects to my very first point, but I don't think there will be enough time for Carmen to improve to be the man Sydney deserves. He also has yet to suffer the consequences for how he's treating Sydney. So far he has suffered at his own mind and trauma, but that's not enough for me. He has yet to pay his dues when it comes to Sydney, so the the idea that she will stay with him and The Bear and wait around for him to be and do better when she's been doing that three seasons straight doesn't sit right with me.

Like Sydney's gone through all that she's gone through (mostly due to Carmen) only for Carmen to be what she gets at the end? Eh, no thanks. (Especially if Sydney doesn't get loved up and taken care of by someone deserving, succeed professionally and win in general.)

Subtext, Glorious Subtext Last one. Whoop whoop! Being a sydcarmy has made watching this show so much better.

However, I can't be the only one who at times is getting tired of hyperfixating on subtext only for it to amount to nothing.

But, I have a few observations myself. I don't want Sydney to stay with Carmen/at the bear, I want her to leave. I have a feeling she won't but:

-In S3 EP5, when Sydney asked Carmen if he knew if Ever was special when he was there and I think he said he didn't, but Sydney said it was good he got to experience it.

-The only noteworthy Claire scene where she talks about the girl who fell into a glass table and laughed after the surgery, and Claire said she thinks the wounds didn't hurt yet. (And the scar on Carmen's hand. Is that from the pilot S1 episode when he grabbed the pan?)

-When it's revealed Terry is closing Ever, Richie presumes the reason is because she's depressed, but it's revealed she just didn't want to do it any more.

-The ever chef told Sydney if it wasn't for Terry closing he'd probably be there forever.

With these moments I like to think Sydney's arc is learning to move on, to not make "everything the thing". Carmen is the one who needs to stay at the bear, in one place and work on becoming himself with where he's at.

I may add onto this later, if you've read this far thank you, and I hope it was interesting. Links below are my rants on S3 and sydcarmy. Pretty sure you could decode the five stages of grief in them- I'm so dramatic lol.

This This And this